#(despite the obvious...issues)
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I was looking at a few posts about autism (as one does) and it just suddenly clicked into place a fundamental thing about Yuri's character that I'd been grasping at, but hadn't really been able to adequately identify. I still have a much longer and more thorough analysis going through a whole lot of my thoughts on Yuri's character and her experience of autism that i'm working on (of which this will likely be a component), but I thought I'd share this separately just to emphasize.
Post I saw which made this click for me was making fun of the fact that most media depicting impaired empathy in autistic characters explicitly depicts them with this unflappable confidence of never having been rejected by people they love. The crux of this is that in actual reality, autistic people almost always have that experience at some point, for some behavior, for reasons they don't really understand. "There is an invisible line where people will get sick of you, and you have no warning of when you're about to cross it." So frequently, autistic people attempt to ride a razor thin edge, walking on constant eggshells to desperately attempt to avoid crossing that line.
Very often autistic people will attempt to avoid doing anything at all which could be considered weird, or off-putting, and will try their absolute hardest to do things in a way that is acceptable to other people, sometimes to the point of outright suppressing their emotions, because they are afraid that they'll say something just wrong enough that the people they care about will push them away, and they don't understand WHY it happened, but they know it's THEIR fault. Sometimes masking is fighting to appear aloof all the time because you can't regulate your emotions in a way that is acceptable to other people.
And holy fucking Jesus, that fits the exact mold of what I've been trying to talk about with the particular way Yuri's anxieties manifest.
It really feels to me like Yuri has this constant fear of breaking the "rules" of socializing, despite not really understanding what those rules even are. She's constantly afraid of saying something wrong, when she doesn't even know what wrong would be, she's just sure everyone ELSE will know it when they hear it. I think a huge part of her social anxiety comes from her own understanding of herself as a very weird person who doesn't really get a lot of how to socialize, and it seems to me like she's probably dealt with her fair share of social rejection and isolation based on those traits. She then felt she had to take responsibility for those traits, probably because it's the one thing she can change, and she is the one common denominator in all of these bad situations (This is something which is pretty common, actually! "Everyone else can socialize just fine, and I have so much difficulty with it! I must just be broken in some way. I have to try super hard to be normal to make friends!")
I think a big part of why it's so apparent in the Literature Club is because she really thinks she's found a place where she can make friends in spite of all of her issues, so when she starts...being herself, and receives even the smallest HINT of pushback, she overcorrects and tries to rein all of herself in to fix her "mistake", because she really wants to make friends here, and doesn't want them to reject her as well.
She's had this experience of others pushing her away for being weird so often that, coupled with her acknowledged trouble for reading situations, when anybody responds poorly to something and she recognizes it, she immediately overcorrects out of fear of being an annoying burden to everyone around her, and that "correction" consists of suppressing herself into being "normal" (or at least "less weird"), because she believes nobody could actually like her just for being who she is. There's something wrong with her fundamentally, and to make friends, for people to like her and want to be around her, she has to "fix" herself.
it's just, like...
it's really hard for me to interpret Yuri's character that doesn't involve her being somewhere on the spectrum, bros. she's written with such delicately constructed autistic coding, despite the appearance of just being a hackneyed weird girl visual novel trope. she deserves the world.......
#related which i'll hopefully talk about in my bigger analysis piece;#i think it's really neat how sayori & yuri's particular kinds of neurodivergent thinking clash in understanding!#like id say sayori is big adhd energy (might talk about that at some point) & deep in the anxiety hole#& yuri is very much autistic with a lot of obvious anxiety#& despite the fact that they clearly relate to each other a lot and have a lot of the same self-destructive thinking#the conflict in understanding is the huge misunderstanding that they get because of the way they both present themselves to each other!#& sayori has a lot of issues which yuri misinterprets as her not liking the book because of her own issues!#& yuri has a lot of issues which sayori misinterprets as sayori's stupidity discouraging yuri because of her own issues!#despite them both trying to tell each other that that isn't the issue at all in different ways. until yuri finally breaks down#& SAYORI BRIDGES THE GAP BETWEEN THEM BECAUSE SHE'S THE GOAT#GRAAAHHHHH I HAVE SO MUCH TO FUCKING SAYYYYYYYYY#ddlc yuri#ddlc#doki doki literature club#musings
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no matter what happens, no matter how much it hurts, you don't stop dancing, and you don't stop smiling, and you give those people what they want.
#I DONT POST NINJAGO HERE ANYMORE FOLLOW @LEGOGENDER#ninjago#cole brookstone#cole ninjago#be nice im still learning to paint LOL#if even one perspn can understnad this ill be amazed#sorry today we are going for the cole art drenched in personal interpretation#um. well first off hes trans. and i will say i think his entire s1 arc w his father feels very trans. if you dont understnad dont worry#but uhhh. i think a lot about how cole canonically still struggles with living up to expectations#despite making up with lou. and tbh honestly in my mind that didnt even happen#ive said before maybe but i Personally think the stronger arc for cole would have been having to make the choice to stay a ninja despite#his fathers disapproval. that maybe even tho lou disowns him it doesnt matter. bc the ninja r his real family now#bc honestly lou is so absent in the series it might as well ahve never happened LOL#but yeah in s11 is the obvious one. w the travellers tea#and again in s13 not being able to do the burst#feels a Lot like how he reacted in the royal blacksmith ep#i think lous expectations of cole and harsh treatment definitely cld have been the source of his issues.#and especially considering he says he had to do all the chores after his mothers death... makes his anxiety around being leader#(in early seasons)#a lot more sad. i think this was in books confirmed#um. yeah. i think abt cole. hes rlly interesting hope u understand now kinda#so yeah. and i used the bojack quote cus i think its similar in that cole was only young when lou installed these fears in him#'a song you taught me when i was small' and all that#altho i think the gina version fits jay also LOL#artsbotz
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#persona 4#p4#persona 4 magician manga#hanamura yosuke#yosuke hanamura#you know despite all the evidence i dont think yosuke actually realises that he's actually quite attractive and good looking#kou talks about girls coming over to check him out and sure maybe it's just the novelty of him being a new student#but his hometown friend katsuragi FOR SURE has a crush on him look at this classic shoujo scene where katsuragi sees a text from yosuke and#smiles in a way that has him being teased like ooooh is that from a girl#getting a text from yosuke makes katsuragi smile in a way like one would when they havr a crush OK I DONT HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS FURTHER#ITS TOO OBVIOUS AND I LOVE IT BUT#this is a yosuke centric blog and all these to say.... i wonder if yosuke is actually just seriously oblivious#to when people are interested in him#i think it stems from a place of low self esteem like “oh who could possibly like me” even when hes actually quite a solid catch#yosuke probably receives letters of confession in his shoebox and thinks they were placed in the wrong box so he politely returns them#when they actually have his name on it he just laughs and says wow theres another yosuke/hanamura in this school?#or assumes its a prank by someone else#i swear this boy had the most OUT THERE mental gymnastics going on#yosuke talks endlessly about how he wants a girlfriend but i bet you if a girl asks him out his response will be “go where?”#“oh maybe later? i have a shift today but if it's a junes related issue you can find me at the grocery dept! seeya!”#theres the whole “disappointment the moment he opens his mouth” thing but come on#theres going to be at least some confessions from people who have only seen him from afar#not to mention that yosuke canonically likes fashion and always dresses well#honestly maybe yosuke's rizz lvl is so high that it just circles down into the negatives#only joking i think he does get interest but he doesnt realise#and because everytime he does attempt to flirt hes immediately rejected he thinks hes never had any interest#which i think is just not true#and i havent even started talking about yu lmao#anyway the magician manga was devastating for my mental health and i beseech all of you to resd it as well and then cry about it with me#he's good with his queue
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im just thinking abt like. sam (almost) never hits back. only under extreme duress. and i really can't imagine him lashing out at partners either, maybe yelling but never physical. and trying to understand why, like does he actually think he's better than dean by not punching? does he seek therapy at stanford? does he just think he deserves it and feels like he's at the bottom of the totem pole everywhere he goes?
literally makes me feel sick. idk i have a Thing for a teenage sam who is like totally opposed to violence (despite being forced on hunts and into sparring and training and loading guns all the time). there’s that throwaway joke about his idol being gandhi and there’s the fact that obviously sam doesnt Want any of this, this being Hunting and the constant violence that comes with, so i can just see this thing developing where for a brief period hes like sooo holier than thou about it i am better than you and dad cause i read books and i dont solve my problems by hitting things (which tbh he is so right about! <3) but obviously its just his way of coping with the violence that hes been entrenched in since he was six months old. and this is like literally just inside my head. but in my head its true. that was kind of unrelated actually but also not really
and so yeah i think. idk. violence is sooo normal to sam and dean. i think sam doesnt Want to hit back cause its counterproductive and unnecessary and he prefers to talk things through, like that’s just not how he deals with things, what use is hitting back going to do? like then they’d just get into a physical fight. which i dont think he wants. but also 100% even if not consciously i think sam believes he deserves it or at least that its Okay when it happens to him. he literally doesnt even question it. especially like… after s4. i think he tends to just accept deans treatment cause hes got this belief deep down that he’ll always deserve it, and also even if dean isn’t always right he always somehow ends up being right, and….. so awful.
also i do actually think sam went to therapy at stanford but thats just cause i find it fun to think about. like what did he say…. how do you even word the trauma of that upbringing. not sure if he actually took any valuable lessons from it or benefitted from it post short-term.
#thank u for the ask i love talking abt them#i feel like when they were younger sam would’ve hit back more maybe. and it wouldve ended up in actual physical fights/sparring#and i just think idk. sam is wordsy. he does prelaw. hes talkative about things he likes and he relishes explaining cases and hes more#comfortable in a verbal fight. despite his obvious physical strength. meanwhile dean runs out of words to say thatll make sam do what he#wants (slash words to say in general) and throws a punch.#but then its also that sam doesnt even really take an issue with it. from what we see in canon. he’s just like. okay. you satisfied? hit me#all you want it won’t change anything. he barely seems to register it its just part of Dean. which is SO fucked up. <3#he just!! accepts that this is what dean does if hes angry with sam or about sam or near sam. like.#spn#oliver talks#sam winchester#sam & dean#also anon who r youuu i love you#poison in the water
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@pscentral event 26: minimalism
SILICON VALLEY (2014 - 2019) TOP 10 RATED EPISODES ON IMDB insp (1, 2)
#silicon valley#silicon valley hbo#siliconvalleyedit#officialhbo#hboedit#tvedit#smallscreensource#filmtvdaily#userstream#dailyflicks#cinemapix#tvarchive#mediagifs#televisiongifs#filmtvcentral#*gif#haven't seen a single person talk about this show in years but it's still my favorite show and always will be :)#(despite the obvious...issues)#but ignoring all that it's still a really well written show and i can't believe so many people don't know this exists!#also the music choices are so good i used to listen to the entire show's playlist at work :D#if you think i wouldn't be out here celebrating the 10 year anniversary of my favorite show you are wrong! i am mentally ill sorry! /srs#why else would i make the green in the captions the og (ugly as hell) pied piper logo and the 2nd from s3 that's just the hat#and why else would i have watched the show more than 10 times#despite these top 10 episodes i will say that intellectual property (4x03) is still my favorite one ever#jamie babbit director of all time <3#these gifs are so scuffed but idc i just needed to post something#in hindsight i could've made a more fun show summary sort of post but it's too late lmao#why did i say so much in the tags stfu me
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I don't think enough people appreciate Alastor and Charlie's little walk to Cannibal Town. Charlie is having an emotional venting session with a friend, and Alastor is living out every cashier's worst nightmare of a regular deciding that you want to know all of their business when your shift ended five minutes ago and they still haven't paid. Man is being held hostage by his own agenda. His eye twitches like 5 times in under 10 seconds, and he literally takes his monocle out to polish it because he's Seen Enough
#funny#hazbin hotel#alastor#charlie morningstar#look. i think alastor does care about her in his own twisted way despite himself#but despite being an obvious chismoso he very clearly has no patience and possibly no respect for interpersonal issues#when they can't be solved with gratuitous violence or the threat of it
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hotd writers heard me calling for their heads and reeled me back in with a daeron mention and a lesbian makeout scene
#hotd#rhaenyra targaryen#daeron the daring#hotd spoilers#im still angry#but this episode kinda ate#despite all the still very obvious issues#at least it was fun
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What is Twisted Wonderland and how would you sell someone on it?
Ohoho. Ohohohoho. Anon. You have activated my trap card >:D
(I'm about to be soooo annoying/unhinged and I'm sorry. I'm not.)
Alright, so:
Twisted Wonderland is a Disney mobile game made in Japan and co-produced by Aniplex. (Yes, that Aniplex.) I'm not here to sell you on the game, so much as the story, but it is a sort of story-book rpg with turned based fights and rhythm games, where you build character units from a gacha pull. As far as gameplay goes, it's very simple, and most of the emphasis lies on the characters and the story. And it's wonderful.
The on-the-box description of this game doesn't do it justice, per se, but that might be because Disney has a little bit of influence on it and they suck at knowing who their target audience is. It is about a high school based on classic Disney villains—but no, not in the way you're thinking, because I once made that mistake too. It is not a villain school. Rather, the world of Twisted Wonderland is its own entity, with characters built as sort of nods or foils to classic Disney characters. The world itself is somewhat built with these films as its past, and history has become so twisted (ha) that modern society views some of these classic villains as the heroes or supporting characters of their stories, and respect them as The Great Seven. (The seven in question being the Queen of Hearts, Scar, Ursula, Jafar, the Evil/Raven Queen, Hades, and Maleficent. None of them are remembered by name, though.)
The game takes place in the modern era, a society with both technology and magic. Specifically, it takes place in a magic high school called Night Raven College, an all-boys dormitory prep school where the only requirement to get in is a magic mirror that peers into your soul and determines whether or not you can a) do magic and b) kin the Great Seven. And, of course, the player character is a regular-ass human who gets isekai'd in and gets stuck with a talking magic cat direbeast named Grim.
Now. That is the general synopsis. I, on the other hand, affectionately call this the Mental Breakdown game.
See, here's the kicker. The magic system is pretty nifty; while it's functions as a standard magic-is-magic sort of soft system, it has ✨consequences✨
Magic has this byproduct called blot. It's this icky stuff that builds up when you a) use too much magic and/or b) are emotionally distressed. But less so in a "I'm panicked right now" sort of way and more so in a "I have chronic depression and/or anxiety" sort of way. And, when a mage is powerful enough, and sad boi enough, and then goes and uses way too much magic and sad boi juice in one sitting, this amazing phenomenon occurs called "overblot"—which is pretty much a super-powered evil form that turns the mage into the darkest form of themselves and then uses magic until they die.
Naturally, this happens in the game. A lot. The formula is pretty much that each "book" of the story, there is an overblot. One for each of the seven dorms, which are based off of the seven villains/the movies they come from. (And "based on" is pretty loose. Yes you can see the similarities, but these are dumb teenage boys with their own hopes and aspirations, and, sometimes, the game completely lies to you about what character they emulate the most. The guy who's Jafar? Well yes but he's actually just a really stressed out Genie stand in. The Hades guy? Whoops that's Meg. Is that a card soldier or the White Rabbit? Doesn't matter, he's got problems.)
The characters are so well written. I could gush about them forever, and they are the driving points of this plot and it means everything to me. They are some of the most traumatized and messed up individuals, but also, they are dumb teenage boys who do dumb teenage boys things. It is all incredibly well balanced and startlingly realistic for a game that amounts to beating the emotional constipation around people. Mostly because it cannot be beat out of them. The blot can, but they have to deal with their emotions with their own two hands, with varying levels of success.
And the shenanigans!!!! Oh, the shenanigans. I call this the Emotional Trauma game but I have once laughed so hard someone heard me through the floor. It's not all doom and gloom for sure. Sometimes you're watching your friend fall apart because his toxic mother instilled debilitating perfectionism and slowly start making enemies of everyone and sometimes you're sending three of the most gremlin students plus one cinnamon roll to infiltrate a gala that a bunch of weather fairies are throwing in the greenhouse because they stole your temperature regulating magestone to be shiny jewelry and you want it to stop snowing inside your dorm room. And sometimes you can have the exact same character who experienced losing his little brother right in front of him gush about a magical girl sledding anime and all of his gacha games. It is the best of both worlds.
And, that's not all! No, no. We get amazing character interactions. Not just pre-determined friend group interactions, but also random interactions. Yana Toboso (the writer/artist) really likes to stick names in a jar sometimes and make them interact and it is the best thing ever. Every single one of these characters I hold in my hands. Every single one of them gets to have their moment to shine. You can emotionally invest in all of them and be rewarded for it.
The game itself is free and pretty easy to get into. There's not really a bad power creep so you can get through it with what you got. Of course the fun part of collecting cards is that there are stories attached to them that you can watch, and those are also sources of joy. (And it's well documented, so you can find things online pretty easily to catch up and see more.)
I just think it's neat. (Read: I accidentally became wholly obsessed with this game and its characters and they are all blorbos to me.)
You should definitely fall into this rabbit hole with me :))) It's so worth it :)))
#twisted wonderland#ask#anon#I could gush about the characters individually but#we would be here all day#anyway I love them all#and this game does a surprisingly good job with mental illness and neurodivergency#despite never naming any of it#it's pretty obvious though#even if not to the character themselves all the time#also this game is absolutely gut wrenching in the most positive way#it accidentally made me reconsider my entire life and well being#when I saw a little too much of myself in one of the characters overblotting#like WHOOPS I see the issue#but that's a me thing#anyway its very good and I can easily be enabled into blabbing about it more#this is just a very general overview really#and if that's not enough then know that in the first book#I character once says “no I am not going to put down the shovel I am still DIGGING”#and that's when I knew this was going to be fun#and then the end of the book I hear the VA of Tanjiro have a full cry and I knew this was going to consume me#is a very good story and a fun lil game
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I wanna share more erm.. belly stuff about my favorite characters and media on here but I'm already REALLY pushing it with this blog being named after e/q/u/i\u\s since I'm, like, one of maybe 5 of his total fans, and make it very obvious on all my main accounts.
If anyone finds the art or fics it's like. There's maybe a handful of people that even care about that character or fandom enough to make something for it and it doesn't take a lot of searching to see who they are and narrow it down lol.
I'll try to hint at what some of them are in the tags if anyone is curious, and wants to request anything with the characters from those medias so I have an excuse to post about em lol.
#I'm using my kink blog as an actual blog now huh. Oops#Lmao. anyways...#My biggest autistic interest is from 1967 and was even left out of a timeline in an official "history of S/tudio G/hibli” book-#-and most media about SG in general-#-despite it being literally the entire reason S/tudio G/hibli exists#Even the mfs who own the rights to it don't give enough of a fuck to even mention it anymore-#This anime also inspired countless other media to an insane degree like DM me if you're curious because I couldn't-#-possibly list everything. I'm talking entire TROPES. Iconic tropes and concepts in film as a whole.#ALSO: copyright issues with a spin off of this anime directly resulted in the creation of Inspector Gadget.#My other interest is a game made in 2003#^^it holds a Guinness World Record for “most critically-divisive video game”#Yet the fanbase is so empty that I have literally talked with the creators on discord.#Considering the record it holds that might be less surprising.. but still...#This next game is from 2007. Despite its source company using it to debut an entire public animation software-#-and animations made using said software ushered in an entire subgenre of entertainment on youtube in the early 2000s-#-the creators have been all but abandoned the game. Leaving only the most annoying tryhards or bots to reside within the modern servers..#^^it seems to be making a comeback though in terms of popularity because of this tho#so maybe I made it too obvious haha#self post
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Oh don’t mind me I’m just thinking about
#not star wars#prey#predator#predator franchise#amber midthunder#the predator#dan trachtenberg#my dumbass would love the alien Romulus characters to meet with Naru despite the obvious timeline issues
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more scenes that basically everyone sees but pointing out a specific detail i find interesting: "though i hope you don't cause a scene this time" does avery regularly cause scenes at parties?? lmao
#original post#citations#avery#i don't need to maintag any of this this is just for me. a tumblr is a diary first and foremost#i really need to start actually paying attention on avery's dates so i can better understand what her deal is. like i get the gist#but i like to know specifics. which is obvious if you scroll thru this blog for thirty seconds. also she doesn't tell us what her job is!#“businessperson” is vague#it pays enough for her to be a sugar mommy and for (gestures to the post-school helicopter scene) but her actual social standing#seems. unstable. like girlie is NOT secure in her position. i guess this contributes to why i find f!avery more interesting than m!avery#she's very intentionally being shallow and looks-based by toting around this pretty young thing on all these damn Events she gets invited t#and obviously she seeks power over money because if it was just the money she wouldn't bother suger mama-ing us#also. we're not special to her. she finds another young thing if we piss her off too much. like i said it's looks-based it's playing to#the people in power she wants to impress (and subsequently become)#AND DESPITE HER “APPEARANCES ABOVE ALL ELSE” NATURE she has anger issues <3 which obvi looks bad if you're flying into a rage in public!#looks bad if you're being violent towards the pretty thing young enough to be your kid who you're toting around like a trophy!#and back to the subject matter: causing scenes at parties does not endear you to anyone either girlie#she really wants to be one of the wealthy powerful socialites who has everyone under their command but she can't even rein in HERSELF#let alone her orphan of the week. my failwife <3
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my only general predictions for jjk is that Yuuji will be able to target the different souls in Sukuna’s body to be able to reach Megumi’s suppressed soul and attack sukuna’s. Im actually interested in how this will all go down, especially with Higuruma in the mix, since these fights can’t be as simple as two overpowered characters with the loss of multiple special grade sorcerers. With the potential of a court trial domain or Yuuji’s knowledge of the soul, I imagine it’ll become more psychological or metaphysical in the fighting, with a lot of good insight into sukuna and/or yuuji, megumi, etc. As for Kenjaku, I have NO idea where their story is going (apart from Yuuta wanting to kill them), but i enjoy that part of the story being unpredictable—it fits their character
#jjk spoilers#I feel like it’s a given at this point that yuuji is planning something w Sukuna’s soul#since yukis book and literally everything else that points to shit happening w the soul and body#the methods and execution are unknown but yeah despite general fan consensus I feel like it’s obvious saving megumi IS in the mind of Yuuji#and there’s probably gonna be a lot of metaphors and whatnot about identity and the body and soul#hopefully sukuna and heian era flashbacks 🤕#kenjaku on the other hand is simultaneously a detailed planner with a mission and an unpredictable entity who has to adapt to any situation#meeting takaba for example 😭#I’ve said this many times but kenjakus appeal is not just them being a typical evil mastermind who controls the plot#we get to know them. and how they ARE despicable and cunning. but they’re also kinda a loser who runs into a lot of issues and trials/errors#it makes it feel realistic. and also just entertaining to watch#there’s probably a more clever way of describing who kenjaku is vs what they desire but I don’t have the brain for that lol#I’m just vaguely very fascinated by their character#kenjaku#sukuna#itadori yuuji#if making excessive rants in the notes was a competition I would destroy any competitor 😭#i feel like there’s a lot of interesting stuff with kenjaku and sukuna that I never see people discuss 😭 but I’m also terrible at writing#so I can’t put anything to words
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I haven’t been insane about Vi enough lately so time to pour out some random thoughts. free association thinking time:
been thinking about her “It's my savings. I wanna be rich, okay? So I can travel, eat well, buy cool stuff… So no one can say I can't do something!” And none of the following will really be insightful or revelatory because it’s just what she says here but. yeah! that’s vi! the main reason she’s so big on money is because she has to be to get what she wants out of life! it’s what lets her say no to people telling her what to do, and that’s important to her because she has no choice but to be independent and support herself. because no one else will. No one at the Hive had anything positive or supportive to say about her being an explorer until she went out and did it (to a ridiculously successful degree, too. I have to wonder if/how it might’ve differed if she was on a regular accomplishment level team. not the one leading them all to the mission to the Hive). she never had a choice not to be. I could also see that being a little part of why she starts out not really being a teamwork person. past experiences have taught her she can’t rely on anyone else for support. (does make me wonder about what if she’d met Chubee before leaving the Hive. obviously she still would’ve left, but how might even a bit of support have changed other things?)
I feel like we don’t talk about the fact that The Beemerang Is Also Knives enough
ok so at one point there was this post talking about people with money and how it affects their life like. if you can afford to get a nanny then you can only do the fun parts of childcare and when you stop feeling like taking care of the kid you can just hand them to someone else to take them away. and again likely not especially revelatory but I would guess that’s the kind of way queen bianca handled the bees as her daughters (she does care about them. absolutely. but not in the same hands-on attached way as we usually associate with parents) and thinking about how that kind of treatment would then apply to vi....hm
in universes where discussions of Gender and Pronouns etc happen I think she has moments where she gets frustrated with the everything of Being Referred To and Having Complicated Identity She Hasn’t Quite Figured Yet and is like. gender is cancelled how dare you refer to me. but especially anyone else calls me a girl ever i will be stabbing them
also I think a lot about what circumstances she finds out about gayness/Gender being things. and whether she’s thought about it in herself before and whether she’d been dismissed on it/told it wasn’t a thing etc. most circumstances she ends up angry about the finding out times because of (un)consicious internal conflict stuff
underground tavern stuff implies she was definitely doing quests and stuff for money with them precanon. would kill to know what specifically it was. but also the first talk with utter implies that she was doing stuff off that questboard as well which is even more intriguing. utter’s spy also implies you don’t have to be an explorer to do them but otherwise you would think you did I feel. so again very curious what was up there
#inspired by that girl blorbos post and also me trying to think about where in the game they drop facts and such about precanon stuff w her#the urge to try and fic about the stuff between her leaving the hive and showing up at the association....strong again#'the hive didn't do anything' my ass. vi might have also been a jerk but it's just that she was the more obvious#easily labeled incident version of it. she was active while her treatment was the subtle passive neglect type of bad treatment#complex situation and also. yeah#an aquila original#vi bug fables#bug fables#also featuring funky gender lesbian stuff because thats not even headcanon. to me#hopefully the reasoning out stuff doesn't just come out like a load of nonsense#vi's one of those characters where I definitely feel comfortable in writing her on a basic level but some parts I'm super insecure about#and the part with her is in really capturing the complexities of her backstory and family issues#and the thing is it's like. I have to remind myself that some parts of how canon did her on that are actually decent#and I should pay attention to those complexities. but then also canon definitely did some of their 'this hasn't really been earned'#resolution stuff on her. mostly thinking about the postcanon dialogue with Bianca. it's jsut too much of a jump for that for me#and it's not even that I necessarily think bianca's dialogue is out of character. it's that I'm contemplating whether it would've#made more sense for vi to get angry about it. like.#ok so. sometimes i think about what coming out to my family might be like. and I've come to the conclusion that if they were just accepting#despite the fact that it would be best case scenario I'd be angry about it. because they've said some shitty stuff in the past. in general#they've made me feel unsafe about myself. so no actually you don't get to just suddenly be chill about it now fuck you.#it doesn't change the past hurts#and I could see Vi being like that too. even if part of her is happy about getting what she wanted to start with she's pissed about#only getting it now. with a side helping of also wondering if the approval /now/ is only because she's been so successful about it#what if she hadn't been so specially favored by elizant? what if she hadn't been on the team that saved the world? why did she (maybe) have#to earn the approval she should've had from the start?#also not gonna get into this one right now but tweaking her story with jaune to acknowledge that theyre both at fault in different ways#(again). would be nice#but now I'm definitely veering into repeating myself type rambling territory so
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everyone in the guild has Some kind of burn scar from natsu
Ha yeah I can see it! I think in most cases they dont get any worse that say, minor burns like when you grab a hot pot or something. Everyone's gotten used to it and he's mindful enough now to not let it be super bad burns (versus like when everyone was kids and still learning how to deal)
But most of em's gotten a minor burn from him at least once
[It's headcanon night! Send headcanons]
#fairy tail#fairy tail headcanon#natsu dragneel#i think a neat thing is that natsu does have anger issues and it affects his magic#but apart from the obvious comedic moments hes never seriously burned anyone#which lends to the idea of him still havin a decent amount of control over his emotions despite actin otherwise#uh im gettin off track here hi 👋👋👋
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Doing research on indoor swimming pools near me to hopefully improve a spinal injury.
One is cheap, has good reviews, and is easy to each even on my bad days, proudly proclaiming their facility to be wheelchair accessible and all. I decide to watch the video detailing their rules out of curiosity, not expecting anything out of the ordinary.
The very first rule - "You must be physically fit/healthy"
Do they mean you shouldn't come when you i.e. have an infectious disease? Almost certainly. But what the fuck man.
#despite knowing they didn't mean it that way#my first reaction was a quiet... “oh”#I'm not severely physically disabled I just have that spinal thing and some joint issues#but I immediately felt like I was going to be unwelcome and a bother#even if the true meaning seems obvious#phrasing is important#ableism#casual ableism#the forest speaks
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Everyday I think about how Misty isn't the antler queen and how she was the first girl to be disproven right off the bat to not be her. You would think it would be her at first right? She's unhinged, she's unable to see the fault in some of the things she does, she murders and murders, and essentially everything that happened in the wilderness is indirectly her fault because she destroyed the box. But she was the first girl to be shown unmasked because Misty doesn't attempt to hide, or maybe she just can't. She's unmasked because we see her nature right of the bat, there's no pretense of normalcy or repression of who she is.
The antler queen is hidden, behind the scenes. She isn't the one who dragged pit girl's body out, prepared it, and served it. It was served to her. If the wilderness is the representation of trauma, then the antler queen is the source of it and the instigator. The center.
If Misty is a hammer used to beat someone to death, then the antler queen is a quiet poison that you don't even know is in your system until it kills you. Anyways here is why I believe with my whole heart that Shauna is the antler queen.
#who was the one who fucked jackies bf? the one who stews in anger for so long that it comes out in ways that are harmful#whos the one who left jackie out there to freeze to death? whos the one who took the first bite out of her body?#whos the one who released her anger by beating lottie half to death and setting of that whole series of events#whos the one who instead of going to jeff about her suspicions about adultry instead had her own affair and killed adam#who set off the series of events in the present that brought everyone together again which lottie interpreted as the wilderness doing it?#who maintains this veneer of housewife normalcy despite her hands shaking wanting to kill the man her jacked her car so bad#its all shauna its all been shauna its just we dont see it bc other characters have more obvious and disturbing issues#like misty and her neediness and nat and her father and lottie and her schizophrenia#but shauna the plain girl. the one who takes out her angry upon seeing jackie with jeff on taissa accusing her of injuring their teammate#on purpose#shauna whos normal. shauna whos the straight A student. but shes the one whos dark inside. her actions have such a rippling effect#that its hard to see that it all traces back to her#lottie saying that callie is so powerful. callie being repeatedly compared to her 'psychopath' of a mother (quote)#shauna being the executioner except she covers her eyes bc she is ashamed. she doesnt want them to see how badly she wants to do this#how badly she wants to pull the trigger but natalie says to look her in the eyes when she does it. bc natalie sees thru it she always seen#thru it#yellowjackets#i love shauna shipman actually i love her so much
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