#if you think I didn't spontaneously burst into tears seeing him

[ghostoftheyear]

Look, I'm just so happy this happened that I had to record this scene for posterity. Callin de Riva meets Aravel Lavellan.

@zombiearmor I thought you might enjoy seeing Aravel again.

[cjlouwho]

The Clarity

The final part of my Meeting the Parents series! You can start from the beginning here, and read the final part below or on ao3. Each part can be read separately, but it makes more sense if you read them all.

They had just made it out of The Gables and onto paved road when Buck couldn't stay silent any longer. He had been staring down at the photo album, listening to Tommy sniff and suck in breaths every now and then. And judging by the fact he was occasionally swerving slightly off the road, it was easy to assume his eyes were blurred with tears.

“Tommy,” he started, his voice soft yet assertive, “you need to pull over.”

Tommy sniffed again. His grip on the wheel tightened. “No, I'm okay.”

There was no way he could drive all the way home like this, and no way that Buck was going to let him. “Tommy,” he repeated. He looked over at him, noted the red-rimmed eyes and his trembling lip. Buck reached out and touched his shoulder, stroking his thumb back and forth over the muscle. “Babe, pull over.”

Buck wasn't sure if it was the touch, or the pet name, but the dam Tommy had been building up burst. He pulled over to the side of the road just as the tears started to fall.

He leaned forward, shoulders shaking. He rested his hands and head against the steering wheel.

The photo album was quickly dropped to the floorboard. Buck unbuckled and raised the center console so he could scoot into the middle seat and wrap himself around Tommy. It was an awkward angle, but one arm wrapped around his waist, while the other rubbed up and down his back. He laid his head against Tommy's shoulder and held him.

They were like that for awhile. Silent except for the occasional gasp of breath from Tommy. Buck didn't try to stop him, didn't try to silence his cries. He just maintained his hold, and wished more than anything he could go back to the Kinard's place and knock Frank out.

It took a few minutes for Tommy's breathing to return to normal. Buck moved away just enough for him to sit up, but kept a hand on his back.

“I don't know why I'm crying,” Tommy admitted, pressing his palms against his eyes. “I'm not even sad, I'm angry.”

“That's understandable. He- He's an easy man to get angry at.”

“I don't even think it's him I'm angry at. It's me.”

Buck's eyebrows furrowed. “You? Why would you be mad at yourself?”

Another wipe of the eyes and Tommy turned to Buck, who looked all kinds of concerned. “I should have known better, Evan,” he said. “I led you in there blind, and I... I should have known better.”

“You told me they were unpredictable.” Buck shrugged. “You weren't wrong.”

“The last few times I've gone, Dad's been mostly silent. Even when mom threw that frying pan at his head, it wasn't because of anything he said, it was because he kept trying to stumble toward her and tickle her. I thought,” he let out a humorless laugh, “I thought if I brought you with me, showed them how good we are together, they'd be happy for me. For us.”

There were so many things Buck wanted to say, but none of them sounded right. None of them would fix anything.

Instead of I'm sorry or you know I love you, right the thing that came out of Buck's mouth was, “Let's get a motel.”

Tommy blinked once, twice, three times at him. “What?”

“Let's get a motel,” he repeated. “We don't have work tomorrow. Let's be spontaneous, drive to the nearest motel, do some sightseeing in the morning.”

“There's not really much to see here.”

“Oh, I'm sure there is. All the crappy motels have those stands with the brochures. We'll close our eyes and pick something.” Buck leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the side of Tommy's mouth before moving back to his seat. “You want me to drive?”

Tommy, still trying to figure out what was happening, stared out the windshield at the vast amount of nothingness around them. “We don't have any stuff.”

“Please, we have emergency bags in both cars. Clothes, toiletries, first aid kits, whatever we need is back there.”

That was true. Seeing as they were both a bit disaster prone, they had started leaving a duffel for each of them in both vehicles. Whether it was a natural disaster, or manmade, they'd be prepared.

Still, Tommy had questions. “Why are we doing this?”

Buck reached out, wrapped his hand around Tommy's wrist, giving him a pleading look. “Does sitting at home for the rest of the afternoon sound intriguing to you? It'll be fun, Tommy. We'll be like cowboys on the run.”

*****

Cowboys on the run turned into a thirty minute drive toward an overpriced stay at a lackluster motel just off the highway named Frederico's Sleep n' More. “I don't even wanna know what the more stands for,” Tommy mumbled when they walked into the room.

Evan had intended to use the restroom and return to Tommy all perky and ready for whatever adventure awaited them in whatever town they were in now. But as soon as he stepped out of the bathroom he was met with Tommy lying on top of the bed, feet dangling off the edge, not asleep but eyes closed. He looked relaxed, which was a relief, but Buck couldn't help the sadness that overcame him at the sight. This man who drove three hours just to help his parents out for the day being treated like garbage. Almost worse actually, because garbage once served a purpose, and it seemed to them that Tommy never did.

Buck walked to the bed, toeing off his shoes before gently letting his body dip beside Tommy.

Tommy, eyes still closed, laid out his arm. A silent ask for Buck to curl up beside him.

He never had to be asked twice.

Once Buck was tucked into Tommy's side, head resting on his chest, Tommy folded his arm over him. The soft scratches up and down his back had Buck closing his own eyes, humming out a sigh of contentment.

“Can I ask you a weird question?” Buck asked. He rested a hand over Tommy's pec, and Tommy brought his free one up to wrap around it.

“Always.”

“Did- When you got hurt, did your mom or dad ever get you things? Like, to try and make you feel better?”

Tommy didn't even have to think about it. “No. My mom would get me a couple things for my birthday and Christmas, usually clothes. And the only thing I remember my dad ever buying me was a football when I was like ten, I think. He got pissed when I accidentally broke our window on a throw, so I didn't mess with it much after that. I did have to do a lot of odd jobs around the neighborhood to earn money for the new window though.”

“Did he...” Buck hesitated, and Tommy squeezed his hand.

“You can ask anything,” Tommy assured him.

“Your mom said he'd hit you sometimes, like when you'd get into trouble. Did he then?”

Tommy stiffened for a moment, and Buck almost regretted asking. “Yeah, he did. The belt was his favorite form of discipline.”

Buck sat up on his elbow so he could look at Tommy. “Even though it was an accident?” He couldn't imagine getting hit as a child, or hitting a child, regardless of whether the act was intentional or incidental.

Tommy squinted his eyes open just enough to see Evan. “Dad always said the best way to never make the same mistake twice was to remember the pain from the first time.”

Buck didn't even know what to say. No matter how distant and neglectful his parents might have been, he was never afraid of them. Never had to worry about being hit. He laid back on the bed, tugging Tommy over to him. They settled into their new positions, Buck with his arms wrapped around Tommy, Tommy with his head on Buck's chest and an arm draped over his waist.

“Do you remember that double wide across the street?” Tommy asked.

“Mhm.”

“Mrs. Thompson lived there when I was growing up. She had three kids, all girls and they were a few years older than me, but she liked me. She'd let me come over and do my homework at her dining room table. Her yard had grass and she'd let me play out back whenever I wanted. And when my dad would get really pissed at me, she'd let me hide out at her place until I saw the light turn off in my parents bedroom. That's how I'd know they were asleep, and I'd sneak back in my own bedroom window.”

“Did you ever get caught?”

“No. I'm sure they knew, but they never bothered to act like they cared. My dad did come to Mrs. Thompson's house a couple times looking for me, but she'd always say she hadn't seen me. She'd also tell him to get off her property because his breath was gonna stink up her whole house." Tommy snorted at the memory.

“She sounds like a good woman.”

“Mhm,” Tommy hummed, “she was. I used to pretend I was her kid. I'd say my name was Tommy Thompson. Thought it sounded better than Kinard. I swore that one day I'd grow up and have a home just like hers. Her girls were always happy, they all laughed together. Her husband worked a lot, but he was nice too. He played guitar and he'd let me sit with his girls and listen while Mrs. Thompson cooked dinner. Their house always smelled so good and clean. I- I wanted that so bad.”

“What happened to them?”

“Mr. Thompson died from a heart attack when I was about thirteen. That was rough, but Mrs. Thompson was so strong through all of it. She died while I was in Iraq; I didn't find out until after I got home. I was devastated. I'm not sure about their daughters.”

“They sounded like wonderful people,” Buck said. “I would have loved to meet them.”

“They would have loved you,” Tommy replied. He was sure of it too. “Anyone with half a brain would love you.”

Buck laughed at that, beginning to run his fingers through Tommy's hair.

The conversation died down there. Tommy never stayed awake very long when his head was getting rubbed. A couple of minutes and he was out like a light.

Buck couldn't sleep though. His heart still ached for Tommy, both present and past.

He was once a boy in desperate need of love. A mom to hug him, a dad to teach him. He didn't get either of those things.

He was a burden. That's all. A burden that neither parent ever really wanted in the first place. A mouth they had to feed, a body they had to clothe, a soul they had to provide for.

He was once a teenager, quiet and reserved. Too smart for his own good. Never congratulated for his accomplishments, never told he'd done a good job. Never guided down a path, but forced in one direction when he didn't make the right choices at seventeen years old.

He was once man who had resigned himself to never having love. Cut himself off to happiness and let anger and hatred bubble up inside of him. Pushed people away because the people he always cared about either didn't care about him or they left him somehow, even if they didn't mean to.

And now he was a man that, despite all of that, held endless love in his own heart. Who Jee called the “best hug giver”, much to Buck's dismay. Who would do anything for his friends, risking his own life without a second thought. Who calmed children at the scene of a four alarm fire when they didn't know if their mom had made it, and stayed with them until they'd all been reunited. Who stayed up all night when Buck was sick with the flu because the only thing that helped his nausea was for his back to be rubbed.

And everything started to make sense. It was clear why Tommy clung to the Buckley's the way he did. Why he was always ready and willing to hop on a helicopter to take Phillip to a game, or make sure Margaret was in town on one specific weekend to go to Carrizo Plain and look at the wildflowers. It made sense that he happily and quickly accepted that the Buckley's were trying, were actually making an effort to be there for their children now, even if was a bit late.

Late was better than never, and Buck had a feeling Tommy's own parents would never be making the effort that his own were.

It didn't make Buck magically forget his own turbulent past with his mom and dad. He'd still feel that twinge of jealousy when they'd laugh a little harder at Tommy's jokes, or listen to his stories a bit more intently. He'd still get a little annoyed at Tommy when he didn't notice.

But he did understand it now, which had been half the battle to begin with.

Carefully, as not to wake Tommy, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and began to do some research.

*****

Nearly two hours passed before Tommy started to stir. He lifted his head, glaring around the room in confusion until he remembered where he was at. He shifted so he could look at Buck, who was smiling at him softly. Buck loved how Tommy looked when he first woke up. His hair a curly mess, a little drool on his lips, eyelashes fluttering with every blink. And that rough voice when he'd first speak.

“Hi.”

Yeah. Just like that.

“Hi yourself. Get some good rest?”

Tommy nodded, pushing himself off of Buck but remaining by his side. “Mhm.” He rubbed his eyes, and did a little yawn as he stretched. “D'you sleep?”

“No. Had too much fun watching you.”

Buck was pleased by the smile that washed over Tommy's face. “M'hungry,” he said, rubbing a hand over his stomach.

Buck laughed. “Go freshen up and we'll find someplace for dinner.”

Tommy leaned over, a bringing his fingers just under Buck's chin, and pulled him in for a kiss.

“Mm,” Buck moaned cheerfully as they parted. “What was that for?”

“Just love you.”

“I love you too.”

With one final kiss, Tommy got up and headed for the bathroom.

Buck took a screenshot of the website he had up on his phone. A reminder for himself to talk to Tommy about it during dinner. During his research, he'd found they were having a tulip festival outside of Los Angeles in a few weeks, and Buck was sure his mom would like to go.

[film-in-my-soul]

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[zippidi-dooda]

Deuce could feel his face burning as you leaned closer.

His heart was beating so loudly, he was sure you could hear it. Sweat slicked his palms beneath the pristine leather gloves he always wore and the stripped tie around his neck seemed to grow tighter and tighter with each passing second.

He really wanted to tear off his layers of clothes right then and there, just to make the burning heat more bearable.

But with you right in front of him, inches away from grazing the tip of your nose against his, he couldn't bring himself to even try. Thinking about it any further would have made him burst into flames.

He swallowed thickly, cyan eyes nervously scanning over you, desperately trying to keep his gaze off your slightly parted lips and hooded eyes. If he looked there then, great seven, he wouldn't even know what'd he do. Spontaneously combust?

That wouldn't be good for either of you.

So, he focused elsewhere, first on your eyebrows. Those weren't captivating at all, right? Yeah, just keep looking there Deuce. Focus on the arch of your brow, trace the outline of it and oh wow, not a hair was out of place, you had the perfect brow, was that natural or did you work diligently to maintain it's perfection? Regardless, he'd really have to let you know about that, maybe you'd blush and thank him for the compliment and ... boy, wouldn't that be nice ....

No, no, no! Bad Deuce! Focus on something else!

Uhm, like ... like your hairline! There's nothing attractive about that, right? Yeah, focus on that and you'll escape this encounter just fine. You didn't seem to be sweating like he was, so you weren't nervous too then? Was that a good thing or a bad thing? Oh God, what if you were trying to distract yourself like he was and could see the beads of sweat ready to drip from his blue locks, how embarrassing would that be? Your locks, on the other hand, seemed so shiny and well maintained, he could almost imagine how soft it'd feel between his fingers. If he leaned any closer he might be able to smell the shampoo you used. And if he did, what would he do if coincidentally you used the same exact brand and scent that he did? He might never change his hair product again. And what if-

"... euce?"

Oh God, you were saying something. You didn't ask him a question did you? Please say you didn't. How on earth was he supposed to answer you now?

"H-huh?" He breathed, forcing himself to meet your eyes again.

You brought your hand to his cheek, slowly brushing your thumb against his skin.

Queen of Hearts have mercy on his soul. He was going to dissolve if you contonued to hold him so tenderly any longer.

"You sure you're okay?" You asked. "You're burning up?"

Yeah and why do you think that is!

No, calm down, Deuce. She doesn't know the affect she has on you, you'll just have to come up with an excuse.

"I-It's cold o-out."

Really? Your hot and your best excuse is "it's cold out?"

And you're stuttering like a sissy! C'mon Deuce, where's that delinquent spirt from long ago? I know we said we were done with that, but some situations call for a serious attitude. Didn't you try to teach him that too?

"Then ... maybe you have a fever? Should we ... go inside?"

Hurry up!

He quickly grasped your hands, grip firm, and shook his head. "N-no. I'm f-fine. Uhm, Y/N? Y-you called me out here t-to tell me something?"

His heart did summersaults in his chest as he saw you look down, tongue darting out to wet your lips.

Your grip tightened on his hands and he was both greatful and annoyed by the barrier his gloves placed between your skin.

"Yeah, I ...."

You paused before meeting his gaze.

He held his breath.

"Deuce ...?"

"Yes ...?"

"Deuce I ... I ...."

You gaped at him for a while, face doused in a red flourish, trying to get your words out. Deuce's heartbeat was getting unbelievably louder the longer he had to anticipate what you wanted to say.

Then, he felt as if his very heart had stopped.

He felt your lips against his in an instant and everything around you two went out of focus.

Was this really happening, or was he dreaming? Did you of all people really just kiss him? Were you still kissing him? So, you liked him too? For how long? Why didn't you do this sooner? Were your lips always this soft? Shouldn't he be taking your breath away, not the other way around? This feels amazing, please don't stop. Geez, he was really burning up now. He hasn't done this before, is it obvious? Was he doing a good job? Wait, he is kissing you back right? Please don't say he was messing this up, he really needed this moment to be magical for the both of you. You're pulling away? No, not yet, come back!

"Y/N ...." He managed to let out.

"Deuce, I-I like you. I want to ... be able to do that again more often. Much more often. W-would you ... like that ... too?"

The dopey grin on his lips couldn't be wiped off no matter how hard he tried as he nodded in a daze.

Hands still shakey with excitement, the boy cupped your cheeks, pulled your close, and captured your lips in longing kiss.

Of course, he'd like that. You never even had to ask.

[tangledinink]

heyyy guys. is this a bad time? srry i know its the autism contest today (go vote for donnie) but uhmmm second chapter of my i'm sorry, teenage mutant what now? fic is out. read it on a03 or below the cut!

[ previous chapter ]

Out of the three of them, Leo was the fastest. Donnie was a close second, and Raph brought up the rear, but none of them were slow by any means. Donnie knew, in the back of his mind, that their Dad was more than capable of some shocking speed when the situation called for it, though he was typically more inclined to amble.

 But goddamn. He always kind of forgot just how fast their dad could move when he heard one of his children scream. 

 They could already hear him opening Mikey's door and demanding to know what happened by the time Leo, Raph and he were even breaking the top of the basement stairs, their hearts thudding in their ears because oh my god. Mikey was either just attacked by one of those shady alley cats that Dad told him not to feed, or he had finally managed to stab himself through the hand with a pencil while trying to do that flip-trick thing he liked to do-- one of the two. 

 "What's going on!?" Leo demanded as the trio skidded to a halt in front of Mikey's door, with Raph crying, "Are you hurt?!" At almost the exact same time, all three of them bunched up around the doorway to see what was going on.

 The good news was there were no maniacal tabbies in sight, nor any writing utensils sticking out of his little brother's palm. A good start. The bad news was the smoldering scrap of paper and wire sitting on his baby brother's burnt desk.

 "I don't know!" Mikey wailed, his eyes wide and beaded with tears. Their father kneeled down next to him, placing a hand over Mikey's trembling shoulder in what was likely an attempt at comfort. "I was just sitting here working on a sketch and my notebook caught on fire!"

 Donnie blinked slowly.

 "It caught on fire?" Leo echoed, his voice cautious.

 "Yeah! It just-- it just went up in flames!" Mikey sobbed. "All-- all of my sketches are ruined...!"

 Raph visibly hesitated, exchanging a look with their father before he spoke, "Uh. Well. The important thing is you weren't hurt--"

 "Your notebook just spontaneously burst into flames? On its own? With no outside intervention?" Donnie deadpanned, his lips pursed. He stumbled slightly when Raph smacked him on the shoulder, glaring at his brother. What!? Like he was the only one thinking it! Come on, were they seriously not wondering the same thing?

 "It did! I swear!" Mikey pressed, tearing up all over again. "I really– I wasn't doing anything--"

 Donnie glanced wildly between his brothers and father, gesturing at the youngest slightly. They didn't seriously – There was no way– 

 "Science doesn't work like that!" He squawked. "You can't have fire without heat and fuel, it's literally basic physics! They're the main ingredients of an exothermic reaction-- does nobody else in this household respect the sanctity of the fire tetrahedron?!"

 "Donatello." 

 "Oh, but when I cause an explosion, it's a problem--"

 "Donatello." His father's voice was a bit harder this time, and immediately effective at stopping Donnie mid-tirade, his frame freezing in place and his lips still curved into a slight scowl. "Why don't you and your brothers go back downstairs? I have this under control." 

 Donnie scowled, his brows bunched together and his lips set in a deep frown, and he really thought about protesting or even refusing for a moment, not wanting to be so easily chased away. But, after a moment longer, he relented, turning to trudge back the way he came with a dramatic huff. "This is so unfair." He muttered as he went, his two brothers right behind him. The three retreated back to the basement, and Donnie's foot had barely even passed the bottom step before Leo turned on his heels to face the other two, giving a wild wave of his hands.

 "What the hell was that?!"

 "Hey," Raph muttered, as if he actually cared about any of his brothers swearing nowadays-- it was just reflex.

 "No, I agree with Leo." Donnie immediately declared, crossing his arms over his chest. "There's no way his notebook actually just burst into flames. I mean, you could maybe convince me that some electrical equipment overheated, but there's no way there would be that dramatic of an effect, and I see no reason why it would center on a notebook of all places, unless Michelangelo was sitting there with a high-powered magnifying glass and directing a sunbeam, in which case he definitely went into my room--"

  "Yeah, what Donnie said. But the, like, the sane bits." Leo interrupted. "I'm pretty sure homework doesn't just set itself on fire."

 "What, you think he's lyin'?" Raph questioned.

 "Well either that or he's finally lost it. Like, this isn't just Mikey weird, this is, like. Weird weird ." Leo insisted.

 "Why would he lie though?" Donnie questioned, a brow quirked. "Surely he's not that desperate to get out of doing schoolwork. He's been doing really well as of late-- And if he needed to destroy evidence, I can think of about thirty-seven other, much more effective methods just off the top of my head that he could have employed. And none of them involve him physically endangering himself nor scaring the absolute living atoms out of the rest of us."

 Raph kept quiet, seeming to consider this for a moment, before his eyes got wide, his face paling a bit.

 "You don't-- you guys don't think he's smokin', do ya?" 

 "What?! No way! Come on, Raph, don't be crazy." Leo scoffed. "First of all-- What, and throw away his whole athletic career? You know how much he loves skateboarding and dancing and 'razzing his tazz' and all that. He's not that stupid. Second of all, there are about eight million other places he could go if he wanted to smoke in secret besides here. Like… literally all of New York City. Or even just, I dunno, the balcony?! Not his own room? I'm pretty sure we would have noticed by now if he was smoking in his room!" 

 "But why else would he be lighting stuff on fire!?" Raph cried.

 "I dunno. Maybe just for fun or something? Donnie lights stuff on fire all the time."

 "HEY!"

 "You do, don't try to deny it."

 "That's DIFFERENT, it's science--"

 "Anyway. What teenage boy doesn't go through a 'lighting stuff on fire' phase? I'm pretty sure I read that in one of Dad's parenting books one time." Leo concludes, planting his hands firmly on his hips as if that were the end of it. Donnie rolled his eyes.

 "You didn't. Raph didn't." He pointed out.

 "Which means, statistically, Mikey definitely has to!" Leo replied.

 "That's not how statistics work--"

 "Bup-bup-bup-bup. Both of you, chill. Look, Dad said he's handling it, so he's handling it! We don't gotta sweat it. Just let them work it out, come on. I bet they'll be done before we finish even one round of Smash Bros."

---

 "Michelangelo."

 Even when he spoke, prodding him gently with his words, working so hard to keep his voice steady and even and calm, his youngest son wouldn't look up at him. Wouldn't meet his eyes. He kept his head down, sniffling weakly and making soft, hiccupy sounds that sank wetly to the floor around them. Yoshi was no stranger to his children's tears, but that didn't mean it ever got easier to hear. It made his chest twist.

 "Mikey." He tried again, idly rubbing the teenager's shoulder. "Tell me again exactly what happened--"

 "I promise I'm not making it up!" Mikey immediately cried, his head bobbing up, the little rainbow beads in his hair clicking softly against one another. "I swear, Dad, it really did just catch on fire! I swear I'm not lying or anything! Why would I-- I-- I mean, my, my sketches, all my homework, my notes, you know I wouldn't--"

 "I know." Yoshi assured quickly. And he did. Michelangelo was certainly no angel, contrary to what his name might suggest, and he was just as capable of getting into trouble as the rest of his boys were. Did he really think Yoshi was dumb enough to not be aware of that tagging thing he was doing with his Posca's? And how many parent-teacher conferences had he been called to over the years? And which one of his sons was the only one who had ever gotten suspended for fighting? 

  But a liar, Michelangelo was not. As much as he tried, he just didn't have it in him-- he always cracked with even the barest amount of pressure, much to his brothers' chagrin. It had taken years off his life when they first moved up here into the city. He had spent weeks and weeks driving their cover story into the four of them and subtly teaching Michelangelo in particular how to divert and distract and dodge. 

 Without meaning to, his eyes flickered down to the small golden bracelet encircling his son's wrist, the tiny orange gem inlaid in it catching the light for a moment. One of a matching set of five-- one of which was on his own arm at this very moment.

 "Remember, my son, what do you do when people start asking too many questions?" 

 "CRY!"

 "That's right! Good boy!"

 (Wait, was it his fault he cried so easily now? He's getting distracted. Focus on the now.)

"I know you're not lying to me, Mikey. You are not a very good liar." He teased, smiling the tiniest bit. He wasn't rewarded with the smile he was hoping for, so he pressed on. "I'm sure that whatever happened, it was an accident... And that there's a reasonable explanation! I'm sure. Perhaps there was just a short circuit somewhere, and a spark caught your paper. I will have your brother look into it. I'm simply glad you weren't hurt." 

 Mikey paused, frowning a bit, his eyes searching and unsure. Yoshi fought to keep his face as calm and reassuring as he possibly could.

 "I'm sure your teacher will understand, I will... write her a note. And, uh... we will get you a new desk..."

 "You believe me?" Mikey said, brows knit together in a crease. "And...you’re not mad? I'm not in trouble?"

 "No, you're not in trouble."

 "But-- My desk is burnt-- I mean, when Donnie--"

 "You're not in trouble," Yoshi repeated. "Just… be careful, my son. I do not want you to get hurt." 

 Mikey stayed quiet for a moment, staring their father down before they finally gave a very slow nod.

 "Okay..."

 "Good boy." He said, offering him a small, albeit forced smile, rubbing his son's shoulder in reassurance one more time before he got back up to his feet (with an exaggerated groan of effort.) "It is late. Go get ready for bed. We'll worry about the desk later."

 Watching his son's muted nod, Yoshi made his exit, closing the door firmly behind him and inhaling deeply--frozen for just a moment now that his son's eyes were not on him.

 Michelangelo was not a liar.

 That was what worried him. 

---

“I’m just saying—“

“Raph.”

“That if you were—“

“Raph.”

“We would help you! We just want you to be safe!”

“Raph! For the last time! I don’t smoke! I’ve never smoked a cigarette in my entire life!”

“I’m saying, I mean, if you DID, I mean, Raph wouldn’t be angry! I just.” 

He sniffled loudly.

“I JUST REALLY CARE ABOUT YOU AND—“

“Okay well, now I am gonna start smoking.”

“NO!!!”

---

Yoshi floated through the next few days, muscle memory, thankfully, filling in for him while his brain was occupied elsewhere. It was a good thing that his family had been to approximately eight-million martial arts tournaments over the past decade, or he may have been in trouble. Luckily, everything was, by now, second nature-- ensuring everything needed was accounted for, getting everyone to the gymnasium on time, signing in to each event and finding a seat... 

 He wanted to be present. He wanted to be aware of what was happening around him, to pay attention to the tournament, but it was a struggle to even keep his eyes open. The act of ‘sleeping’ had recently been superseded by that of ‘pouring over Hamato Clan scrolls,’ searching desperately for some sort of an answer or explanation, or even better, a solution.

 Yoshi had never regretted his choice to turn his back on his ‘destiny’ before. He had never regretted choosing not to finish his training, and failing to unlock his ninpo. What use did he have for such things? And what benefit could he possibly find in throwing his life away for the sake of a 'what if,' a what if that had never come to pass in his clan's history? Perhaps life had not turned out exactly as he had planned, and all his choices as a young adult had not exactly been the wisest, but... 

 This choice? No. He had never regretted it.

 Until now.

 Now, his bones ached with remorse. Perhaps if he had learned it himself, he would be more useful now in ensuring his son's safety. He had lit his notebook on fire for god's sake-- What if he had hurt himself? What if the fire had spread?! And how was he supposed to keep his children safe when this power wasn't something that he understood, nor something that they were even aware of themselves?

 He grumbled softly to himself, squinting a bit and hunching over in his seat on the bleachers. Uncomfortable-- these always hurt his back. Thinking about this, it hurt his head. For the thousandth time in his life, he wondered if he was making the right choice as a parent. As a person. He didn't want to deceive his sons. It was never his intention-- It wasn't his plan-- But--

  "Yoshi."

 Yoshi Hamato started slightly in response to his own name, momentarily distracted from the rather consuming task of pushing two small children on swings in tandem. He had tried to negotiate taking turns, but Raph and Mikey had insisted they wanted to swing together...

 He grit his teeth a bit at being interrupted in the middle of an outing with his children by what was, he assumed, a fan or reporter, but when he turned to face the voice, he froze in place. Ice climbed up his throat and lodged itself there.

 "... Hinata."

 They looked different from the last time he saw them-- older, certainly-- but he still recognized the face of his cousin right away. Not dragging his eyes away from the other, he slowed the two children's swings to a stop, leaning down to speak to them.

 "Why don't you boys go and play with your brothers in the sandbox for a little bit? My arms need a break, and then we can swing some more."

 "I don't wanna play in the sandbox!" Mikey immediately protested, his eyes wide. 

 "Mikey--"

 "Come on, Mikey. It'll be fun." Raph interrupted, taking his little brother's hand in his own. "I'll let ya bury me!" 

 The four-year-old immediately lit up at that, wasting no time at all in throwing himself off the swing and sprinting in the direction of the sandbox, where Donnie and Leo were already gathered. Raph followed after, but not after just a moment of hesitation, glancing at their father for just a second before running off.

 As helpful as his eldest’s reaction was, it made Yoshi’s heart twist to think on it too hard. He wasn’t the eldest by much. He was still a child as well. 

 This was why they had moved to the surface. This was why Yoshi had chosen to risk exactly this scenario. But he had still hoped it would not happen. And he did not think it would happen this quickly.

 Rising up to his full height once more, he narrowed his eyes at his cousin, resisting the urge to cross his arms over his chest or plant his hands on his hips. He was not a teenager anymore.

 "Why are you here, Hinata." He slipped easily into his native tongue, knowing that Hinata would do the same. He would never forget the language he spent the first eighteen years of his life speaking, but now, after all this time, he would admit, Japanese almost felt foreign in his mouth.

 "Yoshi! It is so good to see you again-- After all this time, we all thought-- I mean--"

 "We both know perfectly well you are not here for pleasantries, Hinata." He snapped, his temper flaring for a moment, getting the better of him. "You did not travel all the way to New York to say ‘hello’. Why did you come?"

 "... We heard in the news, that you have children. What a surprise for all of us, after how adamant you were growing up...!"

"And what business is that of yours?"

 "Yoshi," Hinata said, a sigh weighing down their voice. "I know that you never completed your training, but--"

 "And they will never start."

 "Yoshi, please, be reasonable."

 "I am being reasonable!"

 "You are the last direct descendant of the Hamato Clan, Yoshi! You, and now them! We have a duty! A responsibility to the world!"

 "Them!?" Yoshi hissed, gesturing violently to the sandbox across the playground, where his three children excitedly worked to try to bury their older brother. He struggled to keep his voice down. " They have a responsibility to the world?! A duty to fulfill?! They are children!"

 "You think I am not fully aware that it is a great burden to bare!? Do you think the rest of us have reveled in it?!" Hinata spat. "Just because a task is difficult does not mean you can abandon it, Yoshi!"

 "Why!? What is stopping us!?" Yoshi threw up his arms. "If you are content wasting your life preparing for the return of a scary story, be my guest! But you will not drag my children into it. I will not send them away to be raised without a parent. I will not sacrifice them for some supposed greater good. And I will not be convinced otherwise." He hissed, each word burning his lips from how cold they came out-- a surprise each time. 

"Yoshi. Please. We are your family. We cannot do this without you."

"Listen to me carefully, Hinata," Yoshi said, his eyes narrowed into slits. "The Hamato Clan will have no part in my sons' lives. They will not train them. They will not speak to them. They will not attempt to make any form of contact with them. And if any of you do, then you will be hearing from my lawyers. None of you will touch a single hair on their heads."

 He leaned in a bit closer. 

 "And if anyone attempts to, then I will break all of the fingers on their hands, and worry about the lawyers later. Do you understand?"

 Hinata kept quiet for a moment, their eyes searching the other, as though they were trying to decide whether or not their cousin was serious. Eventually, their shoulders slumped. 

 "... Your grandpa missed you, Yoshi."

 "Stop."

 "He was devastated when we heard you had gone missing."

 "Hinata."

 "Until his dying breath--"

 Every muscle in Yoshi's body jerked and tensed, coiled tight and hot. His lips curled into a snarl, and he clenched his hands into fists.

He walked away. Hinata did not follow him.

He sat with his children in the sandbox until he was sure Hinata was gone. He pushed Raph and Mikey on the swings for five minutes longer, as he had promised, and then he let Leo and Donnie have a turn, to be fair.

 Raph asked him who the person from before was. Yoshi told him it was an old friend. Mikey asked him if he was sad because he seemed sad. Yoshi smiled and said that Mikey should not worry about it, and he was fine. They did not ask any further questions, and Yoshi was relieved.

 He brought his sons home, parked them in front of the television, and locked himself in his room to weep as softly as he could.   

 He laid in bed and he wept until his eyes were swollen and his head ached. He felt stupid for being so upset. Hadn’t he renounced the Hamato Clan ages ago? Nothing had changed— He always knew that this would be his response if his family sought him out again. Hadn’t he known that his Jiji was surely gone by now, given the time that had passed? But still, it was different for it to be confirmed. It was different for everything to be spoken out loud and real and definite and unable to be taken back.

 The term ‘uncontrollable sobbing’ had never really meant anything to him before. He had cried before, sure, but this was different. He hadn’t thought it could be so literal. This was horrendous.

 When he finally ran out of tears, he curled up on his side, hidden beneath sheets and blankets, feeling rather pitiful and unsure of what to do with himself. His chest was all hollow and empty now, like something had been carved out of him. And all that was left was this deep, terrible frustration.

 The world felt so hideously unfair in this moment. He thought of every other human on the planet who didn’t have the same problems as him, who had families without destinies or sacrifices, and he resented each and every one of them. He thought, “How could they do this to me?” He thought about his mother, and his jaw set. He thought about the hours of training he had endured as a child, and his face flushed with anger, heady and dark. He thought of Hinata, who he had grown up alongside, played with, shared secrets with, and he wished they were here— or anyone, truly anyone in the world was here in their place— so he could kick their teeth out of their skull and stomp on their throats. 

 How dare they try to take his children from him? 

 Seething, lit up red in every part of his soul, simmering like oil, he slowly sat up, inhaling long and slow before letting it out again. No. The Hamato Clan and their traditions would never touch his children. They would not so much as graze the silhouettes of their lives. His children would never be kept awake at night learning lore and stories from fabricated scrolls. They would never be informed of their purpose in life, nor told that they had no say in it. They would never be taught to fight, never endure hours of martial arts lessons, never cry or beg for their training to finally be finished for the day— 

For the second time that day, a sudden noise startled Yoshi from his thoughts, and his head bobbed about at the low thud and scrabble from the living room.

 Ah. Mmm… Yes. Of course. His beloved and innocent sons. One of his eyes twitched a bit, and he debated his next action for a moment. He didn’t especially want to interact with any of his children given his current… whole emotional situation, but, after a bit of hemming and hawwing, relented that he probably should go and check that no one was injured. Grumbling a bit to himself, he dragged himself to his feet, shuffling down the hall to peer around the corner and into the living room.

“Give up now! You’re no match for me and my super rad skills!” Leo shrieked from in front of the TV, his mouth set in a mischievous grin. 

“Oh yeah?” Raph echoed his younger brother’s smile before leaping at his brother. “Watch this! POMPADOUR PUNCH!”

Yoshi noted dimly that whatever cartoons he had left them with had long been exchanged for one of his many films, which was now flickering across the screen. Donatello’s doing, he assumed. 

“Mikey! Cover me! We gotta get to higher ground!” Leo yelped through laughter, throwing himself at the couch and attempting to climb up the back of it. Michelangelo, as instructed, koala-hugged his oldest brother’s legs in an attempt to slow him down. 

“Donnie! Raph’s been got! You gotta stop Leo!” Raph barked, very obviously trying to rope the purple one into the shenanigans and include him in the fun. 

 Donnie gave a determined chirp and a nod in reply, his expression turning very serious in such a way that Yoshi had to smile a tiny bit. 

 “HA! I’d like to see you try! No one can stop a NINJA!” Leo crowed, striking a pose to mirror Yoshi’s own younger self on the television. It certainly wasn’t CORRECT, but… It wasn’t bad, either. His boys were still young, but Yoshi had, admittedly, taught them some of the basics of stances and things of the like when he needed something to keep them busy in the sewers… He was a bit surprised that his children had retained any of those lessons, but it was evident in how they held themselves that they did. 

 And… letting them watch Kung-Fu movies probably had an influence as well, admittedly.

 Sighing softly, Yoshi leaned against the wall, resting his cheek against the cool drywall. He thought, absently, of how he and his cousins would play this way when they were small and met at family gatherings, and his shoulders slumped slightly, the tight muscles unwinding. He thought of how they would train together, coaching one another through difficult stances or sequences and celebrating when they finally got it down, and the heat in his cheeks slowly tempered and faded. He thought of the pride he wore so brazenly as a child— proud of his destiny, proud of his heritage, proud of the abilities he had built for himself. Proud to be a Hamato. He silently wiped at his face, brushing some of his hair from his face. He had thought he had run out of tears, but perhaps he hadn’t.

 The frustration and anger were gone now. The hollow was simply hollow now— empty and worn. Yes, something had been carved out. He recognized the grief. And he was still completely sure of himself when he said that the Hamato Clan would never touch his children.

 … But he supposed that, perhaps, he didn’t have to abandon every part of his past.

 It might be okay if they dipped their toes into some of the traditions. Perhaps they could still be Hamatos on their own.

“Point!”

 Had he fallen asleep for a moment there?… Yoshi cursed himself internally when he realized that he had missed the entire match in favor of old memories. His eyes refocused on the scene before him— his son standing over a somewhat shaken-looking opponent on the mat, the referee gesturing to Donatello in victory.

 He was too busy lost in his thoughts to pay attention. He wrinkled his nose a bit, but he could see Donnie’s head turn, glancing to the stands to search for him in the crowd. As soon as he was able to catch his eyes, Yoshi offered a small smile and an appraising nod, which earned him a barely-contained beam in response.

 As soon as the eyes had been removed from him, Yoshi let out a breath, slumping against the wall. A close one… Now was not the time to be worrying about such things. Given the family’s hectic schedule, Yoshi was not able to be present for nearly every competition his sons participated in… He owed it to them, at least, to be present when he did. 

 Though, truth be told, he doubted he had missed too much. He had known before the match had even started that Donatello would win. At an event this size, there would be very few other competitors who would pose any real challenge to any of his boys.

 They were quite good. After all, he was the one who had taught them to fight in the first place.

---

Donnie caught sight of their father in the doorway just a moment later, pausing in his climb up the back of the couch to try to tackle his twin brother. The other three caught on quickly, glancing back around at Yoshi with wide eyes. The transition to the surface had been an adjustment for all of them, and they still sometimes had a bit of trouble remembering what was OK for the sewers VS OK for polite society— But generally speaking, their Dad didn’t always appreciate roughhousing and shouting, nor climbing on top of furniture.

 Yoshi gave a soft exhale of laughter through his nose, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. He was sure that, eventually, they would all figure out that freezing upon eye contact would immediately clue him in that they knew they were breaking the rules, but… not yet.

 Not yet.

“You changed the movie.” He remarked, wandering into the living room to join them.

“We wanted to be ninjas.” Mikey volunteered from the floor, his little head popping up from behind the cushions. “Like you, Daddy!"

Of course. Ninjas like him.

 He bit the insides of his cheeks. That? Maybe not… today. But…

 “ … How would you boys like to learn to talk like ninjas do?"

[ next chapter ]

[berlinini]

some Thoughts about the 02 show (while the days of ltwt show recaps the length of essays are gone, I thought I'd share some stuff)(this of course got kinda long anyways, I am nothing but predictable!)

first of all it's so interesting to go online after a show and "consume" the show through different perspectives... I was in the pit close to the sound booth and could see a tiny Louis like tunnel vision (and not even always - I had to look at the screens a lot more than any previous shows). I had never been to such a big venue and it felt like the arenas I'd be previously - it's so hard to gage. Anyways when I saw Louis' IG post I realized how far I was and seeing pictures and videos of the venue - I truly hadn't realized the sheer number of people. Also the lights project from our POV seemed to have bombed but seeing the videos, it did create the intended effect. Also I was so far that I had to ask the gc for the color of the pants (#purple #slay) and only in the encore, when there was a camera on Louis' entire body, did I notice the shoes (unfortunately my eyes deceived me into thinking they were Nike). I missed all the little quirky faces and interactions that I now see in gifs. HOWEVER I did not miss the several times Louis teared up including during Chicago and during his speeches and I tell you my heart was bursting. I love that he talked a bit more than usual - I think he said something like "I can't put into words... well let me try" and he said everything so perfectly! The reference to his dreams and the "we" - I just listened to him and thought how much I love him. His special thanks to his band was super sweet.

setlist: HOTH safe! If I hadn't known DMD was back on the setlist I wouldn't have recognized it. No 7 :( I tolerate Angels Fly but tbh I don't understand how it's there and not like Headline or Always You or FEARLESS. High in Cali was hilarious because you could tell weed isn't legal in the UK lmao - the vibe was so different than back home. 505 still so good and now I can sing every single lyrics but in a very oh poor me, the show ruined my 5 x 505 streak this year since it's now 6. But 505 Laval you'll always be #1 in my Heart <3. We Made It is still the It Girl and Silver Tongues... I doubt a closer will ever come this close (hehe) to how fucking epic it is. Tbh I could hardly tell when the string section was playing but I'm glad I had a show with strings! Me still in LTWT mode wondering why the pyro didn't go off during Walls only to be told there hasn't been any for this tour ouuuups. The Megamix SLAYS so hard and the special effects were SO cool! I did miss the classic rainbow lights for SIBWAWC cuz the lasers didn't reflect on the crowd as nicely but the clouds and at the beginning of ATT were beautiful.

Talking about lasers I was eyeing this guy in the soundbooth that I'd never see before and was clowning about him being there for the LIVE ALBUM RECORDING. I even took notes to figure out later where he works (spare a thought for tumblr user bbrox who has to put up with my insanity). ONLY to figure out 1 hour later that the guy was the special lasers guy as made so obvious by the fact he packed up his stuff after Saturdays in a box that said "laser fx triangle C" lololol. Sometimes I think it's good to clown for nothing - be humbled!

I saw most of the crew in the soundbooth - the person I was with was trying to spot the Tomlinsons while I was looking for Oli and K and was mentally putting a check on names for the sound and lights guys - priorities! (Blaming Red Rocks for having us go down the rabbit hole of every single member of the crew)

Oh yeah the KMM lights! It was kinda spontaneous? He had a little shy smile like he was telling himself 'look at this lot' and it was soooo adorable. I'm glad I got to be a part of it <3 Which pretty much summarizes this whole show - witnessing a moment in history.

Finally - TANK TOP LOUIS WITH MY OWN 2 EYES!!!!!! And what a tank top!!! #blessed #cantspellslutwithoutlt

Everyone's been saying being a louie is for life and that just keep getting stronger and stronger everytime I get to see him perform! Can't wait for future shows!!!

[raaorqtpbpdy]

The One

For the Phic Phight prompts: Soulmate Au where after your soulmate  dies, you can only see in black  and white. As in you see normal colors  until they die and then only in  black and white for the rest of your  life, so you only ever know if you  had a soulmate once it's too late.  Except Character A's (up to you who  you want it to be) soulmate is  Danny. While Danny is in Phantom form,  character A's vision is in black  and white, but returns to normal color  when Danny is Fenton. Character  A is going crazy trying to find their  soulmate who keeps dying and  getting resurrected. (from @ghostboidanny) and Wes is the first one to find out Danny's secret. No One Knows AU. (from @murphy-kitt)

Chapter 4: A Burst of Red

AO3 Link

[Warnings for minor violence]

This ghost hero shit was not easy. Hiding it wasn't easy either. Honestly, Danny had no idea why Sam and Tucker hadn't called him out on his bullshit excuses already. He wanted so badly to just come out and tell everyone what had happened, that the portal hadn't just spontaneously turned on, that he could turn into a ghost now. But then his parents had threatened to tear him apart—molecule by molecule.

He was never going to let himself go through that again.

So he hid. He told no one about what he could do. He spent more time making up excuses than doing homework. Schoolwork and friendships and family fell by the wayside as Danny was forced to dedicate more and more time to fighting the ghosts that came through the portal. He hated it. But if he didn't fight them, there would be no more school, or friends, or Fenton Works because the ghosts would destroy it all. If he didn't fight them, there was no one else who could.

Day after day, Danny had to fend off these invaders from the Ghost Zone. They weren't even especially malicious, Danny had come to think, but they just did not care about the consequences of their actions at all, because it was only the humans who had to deal with those consequences. On top of that, even though Danny was the one who was keeping those consequences to a minimum, he was still being lumped in with all the rest of the ghosts.

At least most of the people at school appreciated him, but adults were so ungrateful. They blamed him for everything, made him look bad in the papers, and even gave him the God awful moniker of Inviso-Bill. It was horrible.

"Some upperclassman was asking me about you earlier," Tucker told Danny in bio one day, tearing him out of his ruminations. "I don't remember what his name was. Tall, red-headed guy. He said he wanted to recruit you for the school newspaper because he heard your grades were good, and I told him he had the wrong Fenton."

"Why would I want to join the school newspaper?"

"I dunno." Tucker shrugged. "Apparently you get extra credit."

"Well, it's not like I couldn't use the extra credit. That purpleback gorilla project did approximately jack shit for my GPA."

"Alright class, please take out your homework and go over it with your lab partner before handing it in," their science teacher said, and Danny reached into his backpack for the lab sheet.

"Anyway," Tucker said as he did the same, "I just figured I'd warn you about that in case he comes to bother you again."

"Thanks man," Danny said. He frowned at his lab sheet. He hadn't had time to finish filling it out because he'd had to take care of a swarm of ghost mice that had infested his house the night before. "Speaking of my grades..." Tucker sighed.

"Yes, you can copy my answers. Just be sneaky about it or we'll get caught."

"You're the best, Tuck."

"I know." Danny started frantically scribbling the answers down, keeping one eye on the teacher to make sure she wasn't looking their way. "What I don't know is why your grades took such a dive when we started high school. Seriously, dude, is something going on I don't know about?"

"Nah," Danny lied, offering his best friend a pinched smile. "I just got lazy, I guess. You know I'd rather play video games than do homework."

"Oh! Did you check out the mods I sent you for Doomed?" Tucker asked, happily jumping on the change of subject. "The second one is freaking hilarious!"

"I only had time to look at the first one, but it was pretty sweet," Danny responded, and the subject of his suddenly poor grades was out of mind completely. 

Shortly after that, Danny started to feel eyes on him. Maybe it was a ghost thing, or maybe he was just being paranoid, but it felt like he was being watched. Whoever or whatever it was, it didn't set off his ghost sense. Hopefully, he was just being paranoid, and there was nothing dangerous following him around, but it put him on edge. It made him even more careful about keeping his identity secret. 

Nearly two weeks passed and that feeling rarely went away, and never for long.

Danny was fighting the Box Ghost again, and he actually had things pretty well in hand. After a couple months it was about time for him to get the hang of things. Now if only he could catch the Box Ghost without the grocery store's entire stock getting ecto-contaminated or destroyed, then he'd really be getting somewhere.

"Danny!" a voice shouted and Danny turned his head instinctively to see a red-headed teenager he'd never met before in his life, looking right at him. "I fucking knew it!" he shouted triumphantly.

"Who the hell are you?!" Danny shouted down to him.

"I'm—Look out!" he cut himself off, pointing behind Danny, who turned around just in time to get a face full of canned beans as a box of them was flung his way. "Ooh," the stranger cringed. "Sorry! How about we'll talk after you deal with this guy?"

"Don't even think about going anywhere!" Danny told him, hoping that he'd sounded threatening enough to actually keep the guy from running away, but not so threatening as to make the guy freak out and then run away. He got a thumbs up for his efforts, so apparently it had worked.

Returning to his fight with the Box ghost with renewed vigor, Danny started shooting off ghost rays, cutting off escape routes and keeping him away from anymore boxes until he had the Box Ghost cornered and captured him in the Fenton Thermos. As soon as he capped the thermos he whipped around to make sure that random ginger who somehow knew his name was still standing in the empty parking lot waiting for him. The ginger waved.

"Who are you?" Danny demanded as he flew over to the guy.

"Wesley Weston, but everyone calls me Wes," the stranger answered. "I'm your soulmate."

"What?" Danny's face wrinkled in confusion. "How can you possibly know that?"

"You're Danny Fenton, aren't you?"

"N-no."

"You turned around when I called your name, I know you are," Wes pointed out, looking supremely unimpressed. "I and I know you're my soulmate because I stop seeing color any time you're around, and when the colors come back, Inviso-Bill is nowhere to be seen." Danny groaned.

"Do not call me that, okay? It's Phantom, none of that Inviso-Bill garbage. That name is so stupid."

"Agreed. Phantom is much better." Wes nodded. "So how can you turn into a ghost? Are you dead sometimes and alive other times? How does that work?"

"I don't know, really," Danny shrugged, then realized what he'd just admitted to. "I mean, I don't know what you're talking about. No one can be both a ghost and a human."

"Come on, dude, take the L."

Danny held out for another few moments before Wes' smug expression wore him down and he sighed in defeat. "Guess it's time to give up the ghost, huh?" Wes snorted softly at the pun, and shielded his eyes from the bright white flash of those rings when Danny changed back. "So how'd you figure me out, anyway? Even if you knew Phantom was your soulmate, how'd you figure out I was him?"

"A lot of groundwork," came the answer on a heavy breath that spoke to just how much effort it had been. "A lot of comparing records. I talked to your friends, and I followed you around for a bit to see if I could figure out how you did it."

"It was you!" Danny realized, pointing an accusing finger at the other boy. "You're the one who's been watching me the last couple of days! I thought I was going crazy!"

"Sorry about that," Wes apologized sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck and offering an awkward smile. "I wanted to be sure I was right before I confronted you."

"So... you're my soulmate, huh?" Danny looked the boy up and down. He was tall; he had a good seven or eight inches on Danny. His skin was pale with a light dusting of copper freckles that matched his hair, and his eyes were emerald green, darker and richer than the sickening glow of ectoplasm that haunted Danny's nightmares. "I guess that means there's one good thing that came out of this whole disaster then."

"So... you wanna go get something to eat?" Wes offered. "Nasty Burger's not far from here. I'll buy."

"Sure," Danny agreed, and they walked side-by-side down the street.

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[phanfictioncatalogue]

Third Person POV Masterlist

A million little suns (ao3) - jestbee

Summary: Dan is just trying to get as far away from his home town as possible at Christmas when he gets stuck in a snow storm. He's rescued by an enigmatic stranger who take him back to his cabin in the mountains. What Dan doesn't know is that his rescuer is prolific, best-selling writer of erotica, Ricky Blitz. Will Dan end up with a porn-worthy situation all of his own? (hint: yes)

An Insomniac’s Daydream (ao3) - Young_Rouge_Rose

Summary: Dan Howell is an insomniac, a pianist, and possibly a modern day Nostradamus, as his twisted dreams seem to be pointing towards the destruction of the world. When plagued with such dreams he does what any sane and natural human being would. He gives up sleep.

No sleep. No dreams. No end.

Phil Lester is a humble barista who feels like a daydream and somehow manages to keep the monsters, which come with such twisted dreams at bay.

But there is more to it than meets the eye, for the past always has a way of catching up with you.

This has happened before, but it can't happen again.

angel boy (ao3) - kae_karo

Summary: the one where angel!Dan goes into a demon club looking for a bit of entertainment.

baby, you put a spell on me (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: "Why're you looking at me like that?"

"Because you're fun to look at. Obviously."

~~~

Magic is common in Phil's world. But even spells and potions can't explain his seemingly supernatural affeciton for his roommate...

Bahamas and Butterbeer (ao3) - fourthingsandawizard

Summary: Tired of hiding his magic from his Muggle viewers at Playlist Live, Dan decides to take a spontaneous trip and tweet about it, much to Phil's exasperation.

black butterflies and deja vu (ao3) - kae_karo

Summary: Once upon a time...there was a little boy, his name was- well, that’s not important. There was a little boy, and he didn’t have lots of friends.

But don’t worry, this isn’t a sad story, even though it sounds like it, I promise.

🌸 cherry blossom 🌸 (ao3) - natigail

Summary: It had been a silly dream at first. The idea to have a cherry blossom tree in their garden they didn't even have yet. It hadn't felt like it was something that would really happen.

But it was real. Dan was watching their tree, Phil's arms around him, and hoping they would get to see its first bloom soon.

Colours from an Achromatic's Eyes (ao3) - impicciche

Summary: Dan is colourblind. He has been his entire life, but that changes when he meets his internet friend for the first time and suddenly he can only see the colour of his eyes.

Consolation Prize (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: "No, the whole being stood up thing is just about manageable, if he can avoid bursting into tears when he asks for the cheque. What really pisses him off is when he’s half-an-hour into sitting alone, all the breadsticks in the free bread basket gone and Dan’s on his third tap water and his first vodka, his heart just has to fall for the next cute guy he sees sitting at the opposite table, because apparently he’s still fourteen years old and horny and desperate and Christ, those eyes can’t actually be real."

or, the one where dan & phil drink a lot of cocktails and start a two-person lonely hearts club.

Counting Stars - definitelythor

Summary: Phil bunks off school and smokes too much, and Dan's a bit infatuated with him. It doesn't take long to figure out that Phil's just a dorky guy who likes stars and wants people to think hes cool

dan is not a pianist (ao3) - Marranje

Summary: How Phil went from watching the pianist and youtuber Dan from afar to being by his side through the most important moments of their lives.

easy for you to say (ao3) - phantasticworks

Summary: Phil tries to convince Dan to throw away the grey shirt. Dan can’t do it.

Eternity of Sex - wishicouldunreadthat

Summary: Dan is taken down to Hell, where he meets his owner, a Lust Demon named Phil. And fuck - the sex is wild.

every kiss is a cursive line (ao3) - phantasticworks

Summary: Iydlmp Dan and Phil through the months of trials and tribulations it takes to plan a wedding… and the wedding itself. (Sort of)

Everyone knows that (ao3) - kae_karo

Summary: They fight more often than they don’t, but that’s just how relationships are. Everyone knows that.

Phil bakes when he’s worried, especially when he's worried about Dan. And Phil bakes quite a lot. Dan hates that he's the cause of Phil's nervous baking, that Phil's always so stressed because of him, but Dan has a hard time feeling too bad when the outcome is a plate of warm cookies.

i feel a kick down in my soul (ao3) - chickenfree

Summary: “I’m going to obliterate you,” he says, taking a few long steps towards Phil.

Phil runs. It takes him a minute to realize the ball is in the opposite direction.

Is There Somewhere - phanticizing

Summary: 2012! dan and phil try to fix broken ties

Nobody, Not Even the Rain - botanistlester

Summary: Dan is fine. It's what he's told himself all along. Even though it hurts when he has sex with his boyfriend, even though he shakes for no reason at all; he's fine. He's happy. But when he meets Phil, he learns about respect, trust, and how a relationship is truly supposed to be like. Most of all, he learns that maybe he's not doing so well after all.

now onto the future (ao3) - kae_karo

Summary: It’s become something of a game, Dan and Phil chasing each other through time.

Paper Stars - botanistlester

Summary: Dan starts to get love notes in his locker in the form of origami stars, so he gets the help of his best friend, Phil, to figure out who it is.

Properly (ao3) - kae_karo

Summary: Dan's been trying to take advantage of the all-hours pool for a late night swim, but some guy always shows up before him.

Stay (ao3) - Nefertiti1052 (Succubusphan)

Summary: Dan was mesmerized by the cute guy with the flowers he saw on the tube. Was it a bit much to search for him time and time again after that? maybe, but sometimes working hard for something works out in the end.

Strawberry Lube and Blueberry Muffins - lame-wangji

Summary: The one where Dan and Phil have sex for the first time and they are v cute.

The Infinite Possibility of Us (ao3) - Young_Rouge_Rose

Summary: It began as all good stories do, with an inciting incident. Dan's just so happened to be almost getting hit by a car, watching a man die before his eyes and somehow falling into a web of alternate realities. Just your usual morning inconvenience. He just wanted a coffee, and to make Phil happy. Now all he wants is to get back home, back to his world, his life, his Phil. Little does he know Phil has found himself in a similar predicament, and what is stranger still is that in all other worlds they seem to be together. Maybe this is the universe trying to tell them something.

The Traces We Leave - lesteresce

Summary: AU where Dan is working in a café for uni and Phil is a customer with paint splattered arms who takes his coffee with an unnecessary amount of sugar.

To Dwell on Dreams (ao3) - carltzmann

Summary: "Taking in the whole image, though, it hardly hurt. Watching this perfect version of himself smile and wave and talk to his friends, bathing in success and appreciation, Dan suddenly started to believe that maybe all that was possible, even with the confirmation of a terrifying secret."

Dan and Phil meet at the Mirror of Erised.

Weight on my Shoulders (ao3) - ByTheFire

Summary: When Phil starts getting some unexpected gifts from his dad he starts to worry if he knows something he is not ready to share. Thankfully Dan is there to make it all a bit less scary. All Phil can hope is his dad doesn't want to change who he truly is.

What Happens When You Don't Take a Chance (ao3) - rowan_e

Summary: Phil can’t sleep lately, and the only explanation was the useless romantic feelings he’d developed for his roommate and best friend, Dan Howell...

Now that Phil knows what happens when you don’t take the chance, he realizes that lesson wasn’t meant for him

words don't come so easily (ao3) - heartsopenminds

Summary: When Dan agrees to be a celebrity guest on a reality show for artists, his only aim is to raise his profile a little and appease his agent.

That is, until he meets the artists who'll be painting his portrait, and one in particular catches his eye...

Yellow Curtains (ao3) - omgdatphantho

Summary: Dan feels like an outsider looking in; an alien in his own skin. He’s starting to question his sexuality and that’s made more complicated by meeting Phil. Nothing worth having comes easy; especially love.

you look so good it hurts (in my favorite t-shirt) (ao3) - phantasticworks

Summary: Phil is gifted with a "Mega Dilf" shirt. Guess who picked that shirt out?

[asleepinawell]

things to add partly based on a conversation I had with my friend about this dumbass:

for context, there is no emet/wol thing happening in this scenario. neither of them would enjoy that

the wol has zero understanding of the whole shard of azem thing and at this point everyone's given up trying to explain it. his response to hyth talking about the color of his soul was "thanks I work out"

also the first thing he said to hyth in elpis was "are you from lakeland?". within fifteen minutes of knowing him, hyth was like wow this kid is mega stupid I need to add him to my collection of idiots immediately

for some reason, he assumed that his role in elpis was being hyth's bodyguard and that emet was hyth's personal assistant (this was almost 100% something hyth told him). he tried to beat up a unicorn for looking at hyth funny, but he lost :(

he did eventually grasp that elpis!emet and shb!emet were the same person, though he remained confused about the time travel aspect. he didn't want to believe it at first because their hair was different and that was the main criteria by which he judged

showed up in elpis dressed like this (and did not change):

has sorta grasped the whole sundering and ancients thing and mostly thinks it's "hella sad". when shb!emet explained it the first time his response was the equivalent of zuko's "that's rough buddy"

venat was confused at first about why future her would choose this kid but then was like no you know what someone who "was sad this one time but it seemed like a drag so I stopped" and is known to spontaneously burst into tears whenever he thinks about how much he loves his friends or sees a cute animal is actually perfect for this. bonus points that he pisses off emet

venat beating his ass was the greatest moment of his entire life

shb!emet's take on him was wow this kid really got none of azem's admittedly limited number of braincells, guess I should clear my schedule and troll him. he also concluded that venat was completely off her rocker for choosing this kid and the whole thing was clearly just done to spite him personally (possibly correct)

the wol's initial take on shb!emet was: haha what a funny little guy. thancred had to be like okay but he killed a gajillion people. wol: oh that's totally not cool dude. does this mean I'm allowed to punch him? thancred, exhausted: yes, you're allowed to punch him. wol: rad!

the hyth/hades/azem thing went right over his head to start with. thancred, his perpetually exhausted dad since midgard left, sat him down and explained it to him. the wol was like aww that's really sweet I hope it works out for those crazy kids. thancred: uhhh...you know what, sure, let's just go with that

loporrits make him nervous. what do they want from him?????

misses his mom (venat) and his other(?) mom (hydaelyn) who he has...mostly figured out are the same person. he got there eventually

merlwyb is his role model. he has no clue about her politics (or politics in general), he just thinks she's the coolest for having buff arms and neat bang bang guns and the whole pirate aesthetic

complete fanboy for y'shtola. thinks it's so cool the way she dropped a meteor on that weird little dude at the end of shb. (also slightly terrified of her)

besties with alisaie. they share a love of swords and explosions

likes alphinaud but tends to zone out whenever he talks

jumped up on a table when they were talking to the forum to yell at fourchenault because disowning his kids was "like totally not cool, man". fourchenault is now in therapy for this

aymeric tried to ask him out once but not only did aymeric totally botch it but it went right over the wol's head. aymeric spent three days locked in his office having a nervous breakdown after this and lucia has been forbidden from ever mentioning it. the wol remained clueless but got that aymeric was not feeling great and sent him a really cool rock he found because who doesn't like really cool rocks

has never understood a single word that's come out of urianger's mouth but thinks he's a swell guy with great fashion sense

considers ryne his little sister

envious of krile's hoodie

bros with estinien now that he's calmed down and is "way less harsh, dude". they have "I never know what's going on and at this point I'm afraid to ask" solidarity

emotionally dependent on his carbuncle

he never had a single clue wtf was going on with zenos and actually forgot his name a few times, something which only encouraged zenos who found it "stimulating" that the wol considered him so beneath his notice. zenos gave at least three horny monologues about this. the wol remained oblivious to all of this but had a great time fighting him after that whole thing with the sad bird that thancred promised to explain to him when they got back

besties with sadu. if only zenos hadn't sucked so much he could have joined their fight bromance club (alisaie and estinien are in this club too)

once tried to carry his chocobo because he thought it was only fair they take turns. this may be related to why grani bit him

owns bootie shorts that say "hydaelyn's perfect idiot" on them

my background story for my himbo lizard boy wol has always been fairly vague and mostly along the lines of: he grew up in thavnair, his family were fishers who made him learn to fish even though he preferred fighting things, he attempted to fish by just jumping in the water and wrestling fish, and then a giant fish kicked his ass so hard he left home on a journey to grow into a better fighter so he could come back and get revenge (he never did. he got thancred to beat up the fish for him and now it lives in an aquarium in his house)

but I was thinking of elpis and the wol being told to relate the whole story from the beginning to the elpis squad and like...this boy cannot stay focused on a long story like that, he doesn't have a single braincell, if you tell him to relate the story from the beginning he's gonna go way too far back and spend half an hour complaining about the fish that beat him up back home

and there's hythlodaeus in the corner quietly making notes about this fascinating fish. notes he will find in his pocket after he returns home and turn into a concept leading to the creation of the fish ancestor of the wol's nemesis. the circle of stupidity is complete

other things that probably happened in elpis:

1) the wol almost definitely made some vague comment to hermes that hermes then recalled later as he looked down at meteion and inspired his decision to destroy the world. the comment would have been something you'd expect to find on one of those awful motivational posters that has some trite phrase over a stock photo of the ocean

2) the wol asked venat "have you ever wondered what the ancients really are?" (he probably read a conspiracy theory on tumblr) but he had a brain slip (without the brain part) and said "have you ever sundered what the ancients really are?" and venat was like hmmm while taking notes

3) wol told emet he looked "out of shape" and "not at 110%" in the future and offered to teach him his exercise routine. this would have happened in the middle of him relating how emet was going to have everyone he knew die and then murder millions of people. hyth prevented another murder from taking place but also took notes on the exercise routine and later built a home gym based on them. azem used it regularly. emet threatened to divorce both of them. soon after, emet unmade azem's favorite barbell in a fit of pettiness leading to them squabbling, a fight which started out serious and then drifted into more mundane topics like should we summon zodiark. azem took his gym and left

4) grani bit the wol. this didn't have any far-reaching consequences but it made him sad and he wants you to know

the legend himself:

[tonberry-yoda]

Ahem, hello there beauty! I hope ur having an AAAA+ day.

Can I request scenarios / hcs/ fic or whatever you want for Bakusquad bois( if they are too much for you then Kiri and Hanta are enough!) with an affectionate female s/o who uses random and strange nicknames like ( bibu, ki ku ki and nunu ) Ik Ik you’d think they don’t make sense or v ugly but they just come out spontaneously and I can’t help it lmao

Hello!!! Of course I will take this adorable request! I am such a big fan and took my own little spin on it, so I really hope you enjoy! And I did include all of them because how could I not? Thank you so much for requesting, lovely human being!! <3

Cutesy Nicknames - Eijiro Kirishima, Katsuki Bakugou, Hanta Sero, and Denki Kaminari

Pairing - Eijiro Kirishima x f!reader, Katsuki Bakugou x f!reader, Hanta Sero x f!reader, and Denki Kaminari x f!reader

Warnings - none!

Notes - thank you again for the request, sweet anon! i hope you are having a wonderful day as well!!

I just want to thank everyone as well who follows my account or just reads any of my fics, it means a lot! have a great day everyone! i really hope you enjoy!

And don’t forget, REQUESTS ARE OPEN! So if you want to request any writing, please don’t hesitate to ask, but please read my pinned post before requesting! Please enjoy!! Don’t forget to stay hydrated! <3

Eijiro Kirishima

"Oh my gosh, they have a new documentary about Crimson Riot!" She grabbed Kirishima's arm, pulling him over to her laptop. "They do?" "Yeah! We should totally watch it tonight, Kiki!" Kirishima turned to her with a confused expression on his face. "Kiki?" She blushed. "S-Sorry! Did I say that outloud? Oh god." "I... I actually really like it!" "Y-You do?" Both of them were blushing at this point, a bright tomato red. "Yeah! Sounds manly, dontcha think, babe?" "Yeah!" She giggled. Of course it wasn't manly, but it gave her an excuse to call him stupid nicknames more often. "So... are we still gonna watch that documentary?" Kirishima twiddled his thumbs, his face still as red as his hair. "Of course we are, Kiki." She placed a small kiss on his cheek. Little did he know, she had many more nicknames up her sleeve.

Katsuki Bakugou

"Bakubaby, you did it!!!!" She ran up to Bakugou, throwing herself in his arms. Little did she know, Bakugou was standing in complete shock, completely baffled by what she just called him. "I'm so proud of you, Katsuki!! Even if All Might punched the guts right out of you." She giggled and pulled away from Bakugou, placing a kiss on a small bruise on his cheek. It felt unfair to have teachers against students, but at least him and Deku won. That's all she could think. "What the hell did you just call me?" She thought back, tilting her head. "Huh? I just called you Katsuki, do you not-" "No, before that." Her face went bright red. She had so much adrenaline that she called him a stupid nickname. "I..." Katsuki blushed, turning his face away from her. "J-Just don't call me it again, okay, stupid?" He ruffled her hair and walked off, grabbing her hand for her to follow him. What she didn't see though was the slight smile on his face.

Hanta Sero

She put another bandaid on Sero's arm. He was always getting injured and she was the only one in class 1-A who ever had the supplies to do anything about it. She never minded though, especially since Sero was her boyfriend. "Does that feel a little better, boo-boo?" She cupped his cheek, rubbing her thumb onto his cheek, which would've been romantic if he didn't burst out laughing. She crossed her arms, looking at Sero, who ended up on the floor, nearly in tears. "What's so funny?" "Did you just call me... boo-boo?!" He cracked himself up again and she turned away. "Yes! Do you have a problem with it?" To be honest, she didn't mean to say it, but she couldn't help herself. "No, no," Sero sat up, wiping a tear. "I actually like it. I just wasn't expecting it. Call me stupid stuff like that more often, okay? And uh... thanks for healing me up." He gave her a kiss on the forehead and walked out of the room, leaving her a blushing, smiling mess.

Denki Kaminari

"I don't know... that sounds a little boring." She tilted her head at her computer screen, still thinking of a date idea for her and Kaminari. "Boring?!" Kaminari threw his hands in the air, slumping down on a beanbag. "How does going rollerskating in a park sound boring?!" "I don't know. I would rather do something crazy like skydiving or roller coaster riding. I dunno." "I mean... there's a summer festival coming up if you wanna do that!" "Oh, that sounds like fun! I guess you can be good at planning, huh, Calamari!" She ran up to him and gave him a big kiss on the cheek, then getting up to write down their date on her calendar. He giggled, his face going red. "Wait... Calamari? Like the squid?" She turned around getting flustered all of a sudden. "O-Oh... uh... yeah, I... uh-" "No, I like it." Denki walked up to her and hugged her by her waist. "You're cute when you get flustered, you know that?"

[alloftheimaginesblog]

Headcanons for getting married to Steve Harrington and having a big family with him...

The two of you get married in a small ceremony. It's just whoever you want to be there and your friends. Steve doesn't tell his parents, his relationship with them continues to degrade over time, until a month into the marriage.

At the end of every day, he whispers how thankful he is for you and how this was the best day ever.

"You say every day is the best day ever."

"Because every day with you is the best day ever."

He keeps the romance and the spontaneity alive by surprising you with small gifts and dates as much as possible. Whether it be a 10 minute coffee date whilst you're both on lunch or a full blown dinner date, whatever it is Steve tries to make it as special as possible.

You've always known Steve's dreams of starting a big family, having an RV and driving to the coast. You want it too but you just don't expect it to happen as quick as it does.

When you fall pregnant for the first time, you're in shock. You'd only been trying for a few weeks and it already happened. Steve spins you round, strong arms wrapped around you, as he yells cheers of joy. You've never seen him quite so excited.

Steve's the one who calms you down when you start to get overwhelmed with issues surrounding money. Steve has money from his parents but he picks up extra shifts in work just to get a bit more comfortable.

He tells Dustin first and Dustin is just as excited as him. They've already decided between them that Dustin's the godfather. He tells Robin next and Robin can't stop jumping around the place.

He's so attentive to you through your pregnancy; always getting everything for you so that you don't have to move, always offering massages and hot baths to soothe you.

He didn't think that you could be more beautiful but then he sees you pregnant and you just glow.

Steve's the best dad. He's had lots of practice. He doesn't mind doing the night shifts, getting up with your little one, bottle in one hand baby in the other. He sings to your baby softly, lulling them back to sleep. You caught them one morning, Steve was whispering such lovely things to your child.

"You're beautiful, just like your mama. She's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, you come pretty close. I mean you were pretty squashed at first but you've filled out and you look much better... I'm going to do everything for you, kid; everything I do it's for you and mama."

The second pregnancy again comes quicker than you expect and Steve gets given the name Steve 'Super Sperm' Harrington. It's Dustin's nickname for him. Steve's oddly proud of it.

Surprise to you both, it's twins!

You're once again a little worried about money, about space in the house... Steve tells you he'll take care of it and he does.

He finds a bigger house for the two of you to live in and doesn't stress you with details, just tells you that he'll fix it up and my god, he turns it around quick!

He enlists the help of Dustin, Robin and the gang to help do up the house. Steve pays them in soda and cheeseburgers. They plaster and paint and within a week, it's already looking a million times better.

Steve only lets you see it once it's done so that you don't stress about unfinished jobs. You love it. You burst into tears then and there and Steve thinks you hate it but you're just overwhelmed that he did all this for you.

It isn't long before you have three children. Going from one to three is a big adjustment but whenever you get stressed, you look over at Steve and despite his eyebags and the sick on his shirt, he grins that goofy, happier than ever smile.

You decide that you can handle anything as long as you have that wonderfully silly man beside you.

The two of you work out a system with the twins, Steve will feed one as you change one, then he'll feed the next as you change the other. It's like a well oiled machine. It works well once the two of you get into the swing of things.

Despite the tiredness and lack of time, Steve still sprinkles dates and romance in and about. A 15 minute breakfast break in the kitchen whilst the babies are sleeping, an hour long nap whilst Dustin and Robin babysit... As much as he loves spending time with the babies, he knows it's super important for the two of you to still get time together.

When the twins are 10 months old, you and Steve are having a late night discussion about having another baby. The next morning, you wake up with a familiar feeling of sickness. Turns out you're two months gone!

And thus the journey starts all over again...

[tears0fsatan]

hi there!! if im not mistaken, i think you can write for zhongli?? so may i request zhongli comforting the reader (gn or male, i dont really mind) who's feeling really anxious and dreading a future event?

𖥻 characters... zhongli x gn!reader

𖥻 genre... comfort + fluff !!!!

𖥻 warnings... relationship between zhongli and reader isn't specified, but zhongli calls u endearments such as 'dearest' and 'my dear' hope that doesn't bother yall, a little ooc zhongli im sorry its been so long since i've seen his ancient ass

𖥻 a.n... AAAA thank you sm for sending this req !!!! my inbox has been filled with two people telling me to kay why es n its really nice to see such a wholesome request ૮  ˶ˆ꒳ˆ˵ ა !!! i hope im not the only one who calls my friends 'my love', 'darling', etc etc .... anw i hope you like this n im wishin the best comes ur way anon <33 !! ヽ(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )ﾉ

you sighed for the umpteenth time today, as much as you had tried to distract yourself from your anxiety, it always managed to worm it's way back into your current train of thought.

zhongli paused in recounting one of his many sentimental memories, he had sensed something was off the moment you arrived at third round knockout but chose to stay quiet and observe your reactions as the night went on.

"[name], are you alright?" zhongli asked, worried about what you could be fretting over.

you looked up at him in shock, you had completely forgotten about him. you had been so lost in your thoughts you forgot zhongli was talking to you.

"oh-oh! yeah yeah, i'm sorry," you laughed lightly, waving your hand dismissively, "what were you saying?" you smiled at him, taking a bite from your dinner and focusing your attention onto him.

the geo archon reached over the table, gently clasping your hands in his with a worried expression adorning his features.

"what's troubling you, my dear?" his tone alone nearly made you burst into tears, but you held yourself back, opting to distract yourself with the feeling of zhongli's thumb rhythmically stroking your knuckles.

"it's- everything's fine." you winced upon hearing your voice crack, completely giving you away.

zhongli shot you an encouraging smile, in hopes of coaxing the truth out of you.

you groaned, unable to hide your feelings from the man. zhongli's chuckle indicated that he knew he had won too.

"it's nothing really, just a bit of anxiety but that never killed anyone." you laughed, with the aim to change the subject. however, the geo archon knew better than you and looked at you expectantly.

you sighed once more, "i'm feeling a bit anxious about an event coming up is all, nothing to worry about."

zhongli closed his eyes and hummed in apprehension, knowing full well where you were coming from. after all, he's been around for six thousand years, he's had his fair share of nerves.

abruptly, zhongli pushed his chair back and got up, your hands still in his.

"there's a place i visit when i feel troubled, would you accompany me there?" with such sweet words, how could you not agree?

"but- zhongli- we're in the middle of dinner?" you asked, taken aback and confounded by his sudden spontaneity, yet stood up nonetheless.

as soon as you were on your feet, zhongli was tugging you towards the exit.

the walk to this mystery place the geo archon wanted to show you was tranquil, the two of you didn't utter a word but it didn't bother you, in fact, you rather enjoyed the silence.

the night was chilly, gentle wind blowing from the ocean filled the night air with the scent of the sea breeze. zhongli's hand in yours contrasted to cool night, which helped soothe your annoyingly increasing anxiety.

admittedly, you were once more overtaken by your thoughts. you took a sharp inhale as the thoughts began crowding your mind, so many swarming your head at once that you couldn't make out one coherent thought.

thoughts ranging from "what do i wear?" to "how will i get there?" to "who'll be there?" and more pounded into your head causing you to lose your footing and slip. luckily, before you could be seriously injured, zhongli caught you.

"be careful now dearest, that could've dangerous." you blinked a few times, confused as to what just happened. you looked away from zhongli's warm, prying eyes, in hopes of willing away the embarrassed blush that had worked it's way onto your face.

"we've arrived, why don't you take a seat?" you looked around, noticing the geo archon had dragged you to the valley of nantianmen, underneath the great tree that served as a tomb for zhongli's old friend. you noticed zhongli had pointed to a spot near the foot of the tree and sat down, the archon following suit.

you two sat there in silence, basking in the peaceful atmosphere that surrounded the two of you.

"i don't know why i'm so nervous, i guess i'm just worrying about everything." zhongli hummed in acknowledgement, showing you that his focus was on you despite his eyes being glued to the blanket of stars that had seen everything.

"it's not that i don't want to go- i do! but i'm also just.. so scared. i don't know what to expect and i think that's what scares me the most. i've been trying to tell myself it won't be as bad as i've made it out to be but my mind keeps coming up with more things i need to worry about." you let out all your pent up thoughts, coming undone under the moonlit sky. it felt nice, archons it felt so nice to talk about how you actually felt.

"i see.." zhongli stayed quiet for a few beats, assumingly trying to find the right words to respond with, "there are still a few days until this event takes place, are there not? you could use the upcoming days to prepare yourself. if you would allow, i am more than willing to be of help."

you felt tears welling up in your eyes and you let your head rest on his shoulder, eyes still trained on the vast expanse of twinkling lights.

"though the days awaiting an event are unfavourable, i believe you are more than capable of overcoming such a feat. you have faced far worse, you may even be the most ardent person i have had the honour of knowing in all my years living in teyvat."

the tears you had tried so hard to keep inside began to fall down your face and you let them.

"your patience is commendable, if you can sit through one of my many ramblings of the past, you will be able to sit through the event." the two of you let out a small laugh, the cool night air making the tear tracks feel sticky on your warm skin.

you took a deep breath and closed your eyes, holding it for a while before releasing it. you could take things step by step and zhongli would stand beside you every step of the way.

© 2022 TEARS0FSATAN. please don’t repost, modify or translate my works anywhere!

[lalaangeldust]

[ 𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚐𝚎𝚛 𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 !!! ] [ 𝚜𝚏𝚠 // 𝚑𝚞𝚛𝚝 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚝 ]

𝐠𝐧!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐱 𝐭𝐨𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐢 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐨

[ 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐞𝐝 ] : HI! I loved your Sero fic sm!!! I've sorta had a really bad week, and was wondering if i could request a fic where the reader who self harmed had been clean for good while but relapsed and just broke down in front of todo or bakugou and it was just a lot of comfort cuddles and fluff or smth??? I understand that this can be a triggering topic so i completely understand if you don't want to!!

[ 𝗺𝘆𝗸𝗶𝗲'𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 ] : I'm so glad you enjoyed my Sero fic, dear reader <3 I hope this finds you well and I'd love nothing more than to try to brighten your day and ease some stress a lil w/ some Todo comfort. I hope you like this as well~ :) <3

[ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 ] : ʀᴇɢʀᴇꜱꜱɪᴏɴ // ᴘᴀɴɪᴄ ᴀᴛᴛᴀᴄᴋ // ʜᴀʀᴍꜰᴜʟ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛꜱ

[ 𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞 ] :

ʏᴏᴜ // ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ - ʙʟᴜᴇ

ᴛᴏᴅᴏʀᴏᴋɪ - ʀᴇᴅ

ʜᴏᴘᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ, ʟᴏᴠᴇ <3

·̩̩̥͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙

┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊

┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ˚✩ ⋆｡˚ ✩

┊ ┊ ┊ ✫

┊ ┊ ☪⋆

┊ ⊹ ┊-

✯ ⋆ ┊ . ˚

˚✩

You stand in front of your dorm's bathroom mirror, your knuckles drained of color as you hold onto the edge of your sink in desperation to keep you grounded from your descending thoughts. Your head is pounding and the room feels like it's spinning around you so violently that you're convinced if you so much as loosen your grip, you'll collapse onto the hard tile beneath you.

Looking at yourself in the mirror, tear stains marking the side of your cheeks, eyes hazy and dull from the aftershock of the violent sobbing you had just finished moments ago. You don't know how or when you got here, nor do you recall exactly what had triggered you. The last thing surfacing to your memory is you sitting on your bed scrolling through your social medias.

With a deep and shaky breath, you bow your head down to your knuckles, your jaw clenching over and over causing your teeth to grind together as you try to calm yourself.

in

and out

Like how your therapist told you to...

But it's not helping. Those awful, terrible thoughts keep creeping into your mind and you don't know how much longer you can keep them at bay. With a silent scream you slam your fist hard on the sink, causing a loud bang to echo throughout your bathroom. Before you can do anything more, you hear the door next to you swing open. Incredibly startled, you shoot upwards and whip your head to the side.

Your met by the all too familiar gaze of the person in the doorway. Shoto is frozen in his spot, unsure of what to do or say at the sight of your blood shot eyes. The desolate expression on your face causing his chest to clench.

"I- I came in to check on you but I heard a loud noise and thought you might be in distress..." he says, looking at you intently, "Are you okay, y/n?"

That's it. That's what breaks you. The final string of control snaps within you as you collapse into the boy's arms, large tears pouring down the sides of your cheeks as you hide into Todoroki's chest, muffled sobs falling out your lips once again. You were not okay, not even in the slightest. Although Todoroki has never been the best at picking up other's emotions and cues, he can very clearly see that something was wrong. He goes to gingerly place his hand on your head in an attempt to comfort you before retracting, unsure of your boundaries.

"Is it ok if I touch you?" his voice low and soothing.

You nod fast against him and you immediately feel his strong arms wrap around you, gently squeezing you in close.

"If you want to talk about what you're feeling... I would like to listen and maybe... help you if I can... Though I'm not very good at it," he murmurs, stroking the back of your head in between each word.

Todoroki may not know what you're going through in the moment but he does understand how vulnerable you may be feeling, mentally, physically and emotionally. He's all too familiar with spontaneous melt downs.

You sniffle as you lift your head off of Todoroki's shoulder and you try to wipe your tears away. Shaky, inconsistent breaths and hiccups falling out of you despite your pitiful attempts to calm down. You look up at Todoroki, your mouth opening to say something, anything but the words simply never come out. Everything clogged underneath the awful lump in your throat. He gives you a sad look, not one of pity but one of concern. Genuine concern for your well being and what he could possibly do to comfort you.

Todoroki lets go of you and cups your face in both of his hands, rubbing your eyes with his thumbs to wipe away your tears.

"Don't strain yourself, y/n. I didn't say you had to talk to me, I was simply saying the option is open when you feel ready..." He reassures you, kindness reflecting in his eyes.

You place one of your hands on top of his, pressing it closer to your cheek as you nod into his palm. Your breaths finally slowing down as you melt into Shoto's delicate touch.

"Would you care to move to your bed?" he inquires, "I don't mind carrying you if you feel too weak to move,"

You lip quivers, tears threatening to burst out of your eyes again but for a very different reason. Your heart warms at Shoto's kindness and willingness to care for you. Completely unsure how to react, this kind of attention completely foreign to you, all you manage to do is nod with a painfully sad whimper. You wrap your arms around his neck and Todoroki takes that as an invitation to scoop you up in his arms. With him now holding you bridal style, he makes his way out of the bathroom and to your bed.

He gently lowers you on the soft surface and kneels near the edge of your bed. You look down at him, murmuring a hoarse "thank you". Todoroki gives you a kind and reassuring smile before hoisting himself back up. He turns around to leave, assuming you don't need him anymore but he halts as he feels your hand grip his wrist, urging him to say.

"Ple- please stay..." You say, "I don't want to be alone right now..." you say shyly, averting your gaze to your legs but not letting go of him.

"Of course. Um.. Do you- can I- uh," Shoto stumbles on his words, getting mildly flustered with how he can't figure out how to phrase what he wants to say.

You let out a quiet laugh under your breath, amused by his unusually flustered demeanor.

"I- I would like for you to come in the bed with me," you say, heat blooming on your cheeks from your request.

"That is er- o-only if you're comfortable... with it," You start to trail off with your last words, thinking you probably sound ridiculous.

Wordlessly, Todoroki lifts up the covers and slips himself underneath them and settles right next to you. You now facing each other, the dimly lit room barely illuminating your faces you shuffle a little closer to him.

"Is there anything else you'd like me to do?" he asks. His voice is soft and quiet, making you finally start to feel at peace.

"Is it ok if you hold me...?" you say, your voice hardly above a whisper.

Silently, Shoto wraps his arm around you and guides you to turn around. Your back now facing him, he pulls you into his chest and his face settles right above your head. With his arm wrapped firmly around your torso, you place your hand on his arm and you let out a deep sigh of relief. Feeling so safe, so warm in his strong arms, your worries and harmful thoughts gradually start dwindling away.

"Is this okay?"

"Yes, this is perfect... thank you," you reply, sleep tugging at your lids, the amount of energy you drained earlier that night catching up to you.

The rise and fall of todoroki's chest behind you, the thumping of his steady heartbeat and the sound of his even breaths sooths you endlessly. No longer able you fight off sleep, you give in as you're lulled into a deep sleep.

"Good night y/n..." Todoroki murmurs into you right before you completely drift off into the best sleep you've had in a long time.

.・゜゜・・゜゜・．.・゜゜・・゜゜

𝒇𝒊𝒏 . ✩

[croatian-nt]

Sejan podcast

I know this isn’t in order but I also know everyone is waiting for this one so, here you go. Translation under the cut

Host, speaking to the camera: Good day dear viewers, and today-a treat. Dejan Lovren and Šime Vrsaljko. I was tempted to start this off with Šime's famos phase: Good day working people, tonight is a live" but it seemed a bit too much

Host, turning to them: should we expect something like that from the two of you during Euro as well?

Dejan: it's spontaneous for us. For Šime and me. We never know what will happen

Host: oh I see. Is it also partly the fact that you are a bit older now-

Šime: *giggling *

Host: -so you have this mindset of "oh we are older now, we'll leave it for younger players"?

Šime: *giggling louder * well no-we only improve with years that go by

Dejan: we get even worse

Šime: *openly laughing * yes, even worse!

Host: but the two of you continued that tradition even after WC. You call one another, you go live, you guve yourself into the ether, so to say

Šime: I mean, it's not...it's not showing people as much as they think-

Dejan: we show them maybe 1%!

*everyone laughs *

Šime: yeah we show them maybe 1% of the way we-I mean, we show everything through positivity and that's it. I guess people like that

 Host: I know the two of you have been active during quarantine. You were both probably bored and had quite a bit of interesting conversations. Maybe we should touch a bit upon that. Is it something you guys plan or does one call another and then you just talk?

Dejan: Oh, it's as I said before. Šime knows that when I call him, I'll call him three times. He has to answer

Šime: yeah, we really don't plan that. I often have some things I am doing but then he is calling me to comment on something and I-I don't have the heart not to answer

 Host: so Dejan, you were also quite bored in quarantine, and you tries quite a lot of activities. I believe cooking was also one and that one steak ended up burned

Dejan: the house almost burned down

Host: *laughs *

Dejan: no, seriously

Host: so it ended up completely black huh?

Dejan: yeah. But I did learn how to cook better after that

Host: and you Šime? I believe you said you didn't cook the eggs but the eggs cooked you. That there was oil everywhere

Šime: I mean, they closed us in the house. And I had some friends over and we were all really hungry so I made some eggs. They asked for fried eggs but they ended up getting scrambled ones

 *about getting haircuts in Russia*

Šime: so I came downstairs, after the lady was finished with Kova already. And we share a glance and Kova is like 'brate...this really isn't good' but I take a seat anyway, hoping it will turn out alright. And then she started cutting it and I felt she was taking out too much hair so I stopped her. Still had patches of hair missing. It was awful

Dejan: the rest of us surely didn't let him forget about it

Host: so how did all of this start? I know the two of you were roommate and that Dejan pressure you into opening instagram account, which you didn't want to do. But you did in the end

Šime: yeah, he was pesting me about it for days. 'Šime please. Com'on just open an account please' and what could I do? I relented. And then...I think we made that Marica video first?

Dejan: yes, that's how it all started

Šime: yeah. I didn't know how anything on Instagram worked, so I played with filters and that's how Marica happened. Interesting, what can I say

Host: what's interesting is that none of that was planned. There was no plan, no censure, nothing. You just showed us things as they were

Dejan: well I think that's the best, really. Plans rarely work out as you want them

Šime: yeah. We didn't do it to, I don't know, pretend we are funny or for views or something like that. Just...what happens, happens

Host: do you miss it now? The fact that you aren't roommates?

Dejan and Šime overlapping: we didn't-weren't

Dejan: everyone has their own rooms. But it's practically like we are. Not much of a difference

 Host: how did you think of your famous "aj lajk" idea?

Šime: well I don't it'-

Dejan: something got messed up in his brain

Šime: -something clicked in or out of place

Dejan: he just said something like "aj lajk a lot" and that was the end of it

Šime: no, I remember there was something-there was that moment well-erm

Dejan: laughs *

Šime: *sighs, shakes his head * I was watching this comedy from Jim Carrie and then he-and then he- *loses a train of thought *

Dejan: *laughs louder *

Šime: *smiles * there was something he did and-I thought of-

Dejan, whispering: aj lajk

Šime: no, it was-

Dejan, louder: ajjj laaajk

Šime: it was something different

*continous laughing from both Dejan and the host *

Šime: ...anway it was also spontaneous

 -Card break-

 Host: let's make first card break. You take the cards and ask the questions one to another

*Šime and Dejan take each one card *

Host: you can take all of-or you can take them one by one. Nevermind

Dejan: so what, I am asking him then?

Host: yes

Šime: don't give me any hard questions

Dejan: a yacht or a sailing boat?

Šime: a yacht

Host: a big one?

*voices overlaping *

Dejan: as long as everything fits in-

Šime: it doesn't really matter-

*pause. Šime shrugs. Dejan starts laughing *

Šime: I don't wanna sound too posh here. I don't spend much time on yachts and I was never on a sailing boat. And I am not very patient-

Dejan, overlaping: he doesn't have patience for that-

Šime, still overlaping: yeah, exactly-

Dejan, speaking over him: I think he is more likely to push the sailing boat himself-

Šime: I really don't think I'd like that- not one bit. Anyway, SUV or Cabriolet?

Dejan, looking pained: Cabrio.

Dejan: VAR or not VAR?

Šime: *sighs * no VAR

Šime: Jennifer Lopez or Shakira?

Dejan: *thinking*

Šime: Can he choose both?

Host: he can, but if he can choose one that would be better

Šime: I am just giving him an option

Dejan: JLo

Šime: ah, fine I guess

Dejan: rock or hip hop?

Šime: I listen all kinds of music so it depends

Šime: iPhone or Android?

Dejan: iPhone

  Host: Šime you didn't play a lot of games because of your injury. We are all happy you are back now but I am curious. How did you feel at home, watching them play and suffer on the pitch while you are at home?

Dejan: what about how I suffered?

Šime: If someone told me I will not play for the nt for so long after WC during WC I eould have called them crazy. But I kept postponing the injury during WC and I paid the price after. So yes, it was hard, watching my boys that I spent so much time with, play without me and struggle while I wasn't there. But I am here now and we have a big chance once again to cheer up people who love Croatia

Host: Deki, there have been some new player joining the nt recetly. How do you think they are settling in?

Dejan: I think, good. I mean when I remember my start, of course you are a bit more shy but I am sure they'll be more outgoing with time. But they seem like nice guys

Host: do you think there is a potential in some of them to continue this entertainment thing you and Šime do? Or are they more closed of?

Šime, cutting in: I think there is always a way to joke around a bit. But-

* Dejan, shaking his head and mouthing no*

Host: no huh?

Šime: but-

*voices overlaping *

Dejan: it just doesn't exist-

Host: how would you encourage them to-

Dejan: you can't. You are either born that way or you aren't

Šime: I mean the two of us have been in the nt for awhile now and it's always the same. Every morning if I wake up even at 4 am I'd start laughing

*Dejan laughing *

Šime: it's just the way it is and you can't really describe it

 Host: I wanted to ask, I don't know if this will ever happen but I would like to see you two as hosts one day. If you could choose someone to ask questions as host from the nt, who would it be?

* Šime and Dejan share a look and burst out laughing *

Šime, still laughing: no the thing-the thing is, the two of us commented on probably every famous person ever. Connected to sports or not. But if I had to choose-if I had to choose someone I think I'd laugh to tears with while interviewing it would be Goran Bare

*Dejan giggling in the background *

Šime: it would really be a show

Host: if he could hold a concentration during the whole interview

Šime: I mean it would be something casual, like this. And for the questions we would have...I reallly don't know

Šime, looking at Dejan: who would you choose?

Dejan: I don't know

*silence *

Šime: com'on brate, say someone

Dejan: hmmm. I don't know. No one is coming to mind right now

Host: and from the nt? If you had to choose one teammate?

Dejan: Brozović

Šime: well yes but-

Dejan: he is maybe number one for me right now. I just remembered

Host: and would he agree? To come to a show hosted by you?

Dejan: not only would he agree. He would have to agree

Šime, unconvincinly: mmm. Yeah

Host: Deki, did you get used to life in Russia?

Dejan: well yeah, yeah I did-

*Šime giggling *

Dejan: it's not how I expected. I expected to be able to survive the winter but it's really cold

*Šime bursting out laughing and coughing *

Dejan: I went out on the balcony one day and thought "my freezer is warmer than this "

Šime: so meat can be kept outside with drying clothes. If it's that cold. How cold it is?

Dejan: -30 C

Šime: wow. There we go then

Host: you didn't visit him yet?

Šime: no

Host: and you won't huh?

Šime: oh no *laughs * I said I didn't not that I won't

Host: Šime how did you face Luka after snatching the trophy from him?

Šime: normally. But I remember thinking-since he scored last minute to Villarreal and we won our game. If we ended with a draw and he scored a goal in last minute and won the championship-uff. I wouldn't be able to look at him

Dejan: he doesn't even have space for any more trophies anyway

Šime: him?

Dejan: yeah. Like com'on

Šime: but. Um- *looks at Dejan and forgets his sentence *

Dejan: dragi

Šime: hmm?

*Dejan laughs *

Šime: don't talk too much

 Host: We had Budimir here yesterday and we talked about how he got into argument with Savic. He didn't want to tell us any details, but he said you'll surely tell us everything

Šime: he really pushed it all on me huh?

Someone off camera: that's not exactly how he said it!

Šime: I mean I don't want to judge because I am on good terms with both of them. I didn't get involved and I actually found someone else to argue with-

*Dejan laughs *

Šime: but I am really close with Ante while we are with the nt but Stefan is also my friend I talk to every day so. I wouldn't want to pick sides

Šime: I am glad Ante scored thought and that the club bought him so I congratulate him on it this way-oh he just entered

Host: Ante you came a little late. We just talked about you and Savic. Šime told us everything

Dejan: he insulted you to the fullest

Host: he told us everything, we heard a completely different story from you, just so you know

Budimir: will I need to give some sort of reply?

Host: it's too late for that, you had you lr chance and you didn't say anything

Šime: I wanted to say, there was tension during the whole game and it escalated jn the tunnel-

Host: oh Luka, you are a bit late too. We talked about you as well

Luka: I was here already before-

Host: I think he waited until you left to say something-

Budimir: I just wanted to say, he sent Grbic after me. The biggest one

*all laugh *

Šime: I didn't even see Grbic. I was too busy with some other things. Some my exhibitions

  -Cards break-

Dejan: who has the best image?

Šime: ufff. Hmmm *thinks for about 30 seconds * Based on my taste? I guess Mateo? He knows how to dress well

Dejan: *laughs quietly *

*everyone from the background start laughing *

Host: you are not of the same opinion

Šime: well I said it's based on my taste

Dejan: next question

 Šime: who has the best car?

Dejan: what should I say?

Šime: just say it's you, brate

Dejan: I mean Barišić has a good car

Host: Barisic huh?

Dejan: I wanted to say Luka but Luka is *makes dismissing gesture with his hand *

Luka: soon!

Šime: Luka will have it soon but tastes shouldn't be discussed. Besides whoever has the fastest doesn't mean he is the fastest

*everyone laughs *

Host: so who is the fastest?

Šime: well that I don't know. We should have some sort of competition

 Dejan: who gets ready the fastest?

Šime: ufff. I don't know. I really don't know. I can tell you who gets there last but-

Host: who gets there last?

Dejan: captain

Host: Luka huh?

Dejan: well you know it's when you pass 30-31, you immediately pay a fine. So he comes exactly at 30

Šime: but at yesterday's lunch, you should have seen that show. It was 29 minutes and 45 second when suddely the door opens and everyone rushes in. There was pushing and running...chaos. but that's because we have some new regulations like no being late, no phones...but I think that's great

Host: who paid the most fines?

Dejan: ufff I can't quite remember. But I think Reba and Perisic

Host: now I'd like you both to tell me about your childhood, but perhaps something not football related

*Šime and Dejan burst out laughing *

Šime: there is still more of these dragi *giggles *

Dejan: are you fucking with me

Host: alright sorry guys, my bad. Continue

Šime: are you asking me or am I asking you?

Dejan: you ask me

Šime: no, I asked you last. You ask me

Dejan: alright. Who eats the healthiest?

Šime: I think Deki does

Dejan: Me??

Šime: yes. The way he makes and mixes those salad he eats...I am sick from only going to that part and looking at all the stuff you are supposed to put in them. But he does it so carefully and he clearly enjoys it. I mean we all eat healthy but he is like...yeah

Dejan: I mean I really do like salads. And I have this whole pressure-captain sits next to me and he says "make a double salad"

Šime, overlapping: well yeah, he uses him a little, so what-

Dejan: and it has to be perfect, salted to a gram, otherwise it's "what did you put in this?!" *sighs * it's fine

Šime: who cooks the best?

Dejan: cooks???

Both of them: no one

 Host: alright so, your childhood. Šime, you can go first

Šime: my childhood? I don't know what to say, really. It was good, I grew up loved, surrounded by fun and playing games with my friends outside. I also thankfully have a younger brother and...I don't know. Most of my fondest memories are the ones spent playing outside, usually with the ball of course

Host: which neighborhood?

Šime: well we moved once so there were two addresses in Zadar, until I finished middle school. And then I went to Zagreb at 14

Host: what about you Dejan? I know you had a harder childhood, but I'd like to touch upon happy moments and not so much on bad ones

Dejan: what should I say? I don't know where to start. I mean I had a really nice childhood in Germany. My parents introduced me nicely to the real world pretty early on. I remember at that time I thought we had everything we needed but...in the background everything was burning. I think I only realize how bad the situation was when we got back to Croatia. But that's alright-it happened for a reason. And I think we can all be proud that we survive it. I am actually sad my brother didn't went through that with us. He was too small

Host: you spoiled him a bit huh?

Dejan: well no. He is 10 years younger. By the time I went to Lyon he was just starting to grow up. Maybe that's why I-because of what happened I developed quite a character. So I can proudly say we all went through that together and today that's something that doesn't have a price

Host: you went to Zagreb when you were only 14 right? Although I believe you said in one interview you really wanted to go

Šime: I wanted to go because it was a call I couldn't refuse. It was football and football is my biggest love. And it's something you just feel you need to do. And when you are that young you are just pulled by your goal, by the love for football. But when I came and when the process of growing up was suddenly sped up...only then did I realize the consequences of my decision. But at that time that was a challenge to which I would never admit defeat. So there was only victory left. And I did win that game of my life. Those kind of moments left a mark on you. As Deki said those things make you stronger and make some things later in life easier

Šime: but don't get me wrong! I am not saying it wasn't nice as well. I am talking her like it's something awful-

Host: was it too much of a change to you at first?

Šime: well no, it was great for me actually. I was supposed to go to Hajduk at that time and I went to two tournaments with them in Zagreb, we won that tournament, I won the best player award and they were demanding for me to come to Hajduk but they couldn't make a deal with Zadar and then the offer from Dinamo came and...there wasn't much thought on my part. It was really great. I was at dorm for the first 6 months. And...I don't have time now but one time when we have time I'll talk about the details and my experience with boys from both on and off the pitch. It was a time of self descovery for me so to say

Host: Deki, I have to ask you something. I have a friend that played with you in Inter and he said that you spend the whole night with them celebrating, but you only drank Cola and similar drinks. Never alcohol

Šime: impossible. I don't believe it

Host: that's what he told me

Šime, turning to Dejan: is it true? How old were you?

Dejan: 16 or 17 I think?

Šime: oh okay, then I believe it

Dejan: I mean I had this sort of mentality of looking at things ahead. It's not that I never got drunk. I got absolutely plastered and I walked on my knees-

*everyone laughs *

Dejan: -but I definitely had days I didn't drink despite hanging out with teammates because i didn't feel like it

Šime: *still laughing *

Host: He is dying of laughter. I don't understand why

Dejan: that's because he saw the time I was on my knees and ge remember that now-

Šime: *laughing louder *

Dejan: so now for him that's-

Šime: no it's *laughing do hard he is incomprehensible * it must have been some time before the game so you didn't drink *proceeds laughing *

Dejan: well yes, that's what I am telling you. The rest of them were getting wasted anyway

Šime: *laughs even louder * this was good, my god

Host: he has good tricks huh?

Šime: no I mean, I am not saying what he is saying is untrue I just *laughs *

Dejan, overlapping: he just saw the worst version-

Šime: I know how he gets when he-*laughing harder *

Dejan: -saw the full transformation-

*both laughing very hard *

Šime, wiping his eyes: oh my god.

Dejan: anyway, next question

 Host: Šime that jump of yours after a ball during the game against Belgum...what happened?

Dejan: blackout

Šime: I mean yeah-I was so mad

Host: but jumping with both legs-

*Dejan laughing *

Šime: he is laughing but I am still mad. There were so many situations with Lukaku, he kept pushing the players with the whole "oh I am strong, oh I am fast" I mean he is but. Still. So when I saw him leading the ball I wanted to-I want to shorten his....

*everyone except Šime laughs *

Dejan: his legs

Šime: his way to towards the goal. And I failed and when i saw that in a duel I lost the ball-

* Dejan laughing again*

Šime: and I was tired and under stress so I had to get it all out somehow so i don't do something worse later

Dejan: I remember watching TV and I saw that, I looked at my brother and then back the TV and I said "he had some sort of blackout there"

Šime: I just did what I had to do. If it was concrete there, I would have threw myself at concrete at that moment

*Dejan absolutely losing it *

Šime: I am serious. I would have honestly threw myself at the concrete at that moment

Dejan: *slaps his arm, still laughing *

Šime: I realize it was a bit unexpected from the outside but I just had to do it so I don't endanger anyone else's health later

 -Cards break-

Dejan: only two cards?

Host: no there are supposed to be three

Dejan: *looks around, no sign of third card *

Host: lost it on the way huh? It's fine, there can be two

Dejan: alright. Favorite book?

Šime: pfffff

Dejan: *laughs *

Šime: there is no favorite book

Dejan: *laughs harder *

Host: nothing huh?

Šime: no. I know there might be a phase in my life when I will read books, but for now...I just don't have a patience

Dejan: *continous laughter that increases everytime word 'book' is mentioned *

Šime: favorite song?

Dejan: uh. I can't really choose, it depends on a mood *thinks for a moment * but now...let's say from Oliver "Bez tebe"(without you)

Dejan: favorite city?

Šime: Zadar

Šime: now another question that won't be hard to answer. Favorite number?

Dejan: *shurgs * 6

Šime: you didn't really choose some hard questions

 Host: if you had a choose one player from the nt who is really special? Personality wise as well-

Dejan: Broz

Šime, nodding: Definitely Brozović

Host: I keep hearing about him. Maybe people from the outside have the wrong idea about him-

Dejan: wrong idea? No, they have the right idea. Exactly the right idea. The guy is hilarious, but also an amazing player. I cannot believe someone can eat 2 kg of pate, 2 croissant and coca cola before a WC match and just. Run for 15 km. I just don't understand that. And then when you ask him how he says: "pateee" and makes hand gesture to the sky. I really don't understand him. I would need 4 days to recover from eating all that

Šime: yeah his mental state...I don't think there is much of a difference for him when he wakes up in the morning on a normal day or when he about to enter a pitch. But I think when you meet him you are surprised actually. He is actually quite quiet and nice and really smart, with a big heart

Host: and he is honest right?

Šime: yes. There is no doubting for him. He will tell you everything to your face and what you think about that-that's your problem. I think that's great

 *about their lives and interviews from Russia*

Šime: one thing that I specifically remember from videos of our interviews are people trying to read our lips

Dejan: oh god *laughs *

Šime: I remember whispering to Dejan "look that guy is the same Strina

Dejan: the guy really looked identical

Šime: and someone wrote that I said "look at that woman with big boobs"

Dejan: *laughs harder *

Šime: I mean, how do you even read it so badly??

 -Last card break-

Šime: which teammate would you let choose an outfit for your night out?

Dejan: Šime Vrsaljko

Dejan: which teammate would you choose...as a business partner

*they share a look and start laughing, the entire audience joining them

Šime: Well Dejan Lovren, of course

Šime, calming down: alright, alright next question. Which teammate would you choose to-*starts laughing * to-to babysit your child for a few hours?

*everyone burst out laughing *

Dejan: Šime Vrsaljko

Dejan: now, listen to this

Šime, already half laughing: yes?

Dejan: which teammafe would you choose to...change your tire

*both burst out laughing again *

Šime: *catching his breath but still laughing * what-I mean what should I say *laughing again, shrugging * oh fu-

Šime: which teammate would you choose for a gaming partner?

Dejan: *thinking * but you are always playing those video games. Call of duty and stuff. I have to pick Šime again

Šime: well I really sometimes do-

Dejan: sometimes?

Šime: often-and then I tried to get him to start playing-

Dejan: and I did, during lockdown. And he got me into Call of duty. And after 5 hours I say "I am going to bed" and my wife wakes me and she is like "dragi you are shaking "

Šime, laughing: he was shooting!

Dejan: it completely scrambled my brain. So I quit. Stupid video games

Dejan: alright now tell me...who would you choose as a partner in a fight?

Šime: ufff. Well him. I'd choose him for everything. It's a matter of trust. If we were to get into a fight together-

Host: you'd take a punch for him?

Šime: we'd-we'd make it a good fight. Guaranteed

  Host: well guys, that's it. I hope you enjoyed-viewers certainly will. This will be viewed a lot I bet

Šime: it was good. Fun. Although I saw that in some podcasts they drink while answering-

Dejan: where did you see that?

Šime: in podcast. When Goran Bare was a guest they also gave him the-the-

Dejan: so I end up on my knees here? Don't be ridiculous-

Šime: -and we'd open the topics much easier that way

Host: I don't know what your coach would say to that-

Šime: -it's classic art. I am not saying we have to drink here just that I think it's cool

Dejan: *laughing *

Šime: maybe some people are a bit stiff so this would help them relax

Dejan: how do you think we'd be like? How relaxed?

Šime: from 1 to 100? 200

Host: well you gave us a good idea for maybe some future podcasts-

Šime: but I think that would need to happen when there are no football activities involved-

Dejan: I think the chair would be sitting on me and not me on a chair

*both laugh *

Šime: just prepare us two beds here so we can lie down after

Host, turning to the camera: Anyway, dear viewers, we'll stop here for today. I hope you all had fun today, and watch us tomorrow as well

[ambivalent-anarchy]

The First 'I Love You'

Gender: Female

Pairing: Peter Parker x stark!reader

Warning: None

Prompt: “Are you sure you love me?” “Who else could I love?”

Requested by: @cyrusandhiscollaredahirts

Summary- kinda goes without saying. Peter says his first 'I love you'.

---------------------------------------

May Parker always kept a watchful eye over her nephew's relationships.

Aside from the fact that it was to be protective, it was like a little game for her. Trying to catch and determine what parts of how Peter loved were like her or Ben or his parents or just himself.

He was always incredibly touchy, like Ben had been.

And he loved to give gifts. That was May's thing.

He was a bit overprotective. Ben.

And he definitely was the jealous type. May.

Pet names were the big one that tuned May in to start watching for more in the first place. The first time she ever heard Peter calling you 'sweetheart' over the phone, May almost spat out her water. 'Sweetheart' was one of Ben's favorites.

And yeah okay Peter definitely had way more of Ben's love traits than May's. But she didn't mind. Quite the opposite.

But there was only one thing that held potential to being a problem.

May had brushed it off before due to her nephew's persistent bashfulness at first. But it really did seem now that one of Ben's most prevalent habits was about to show itself inside Peter at any moment.

Ben was never one to be patient with something or someone that he truly, deeply cared about.

If he wanted something, no matter how hard he tried to give it time, it'd just thread on him until he had to do something about it.

Which was why he was the first to say 'I love you.' And thankfully, May was ready to say it back when he did.

And May desperately wanted it to be the same for Peter.

And she didn't want to be judgmental, but she knew you were a Stark. And everything came easily to Starks, except one thing.

She'd seen how you were on the first date with Peter. How intimidated he'd been. How much your guard was up all the time.

She'd known how long it finally took you to say yes to being his girlfriend. How many times he had to ask and get an 'I need to work on myself first' or an 'I really do like you, but I'm not ready yet.'

She saw how much it broke Peter's heart even though he tried to stay hopeful. And how ecstatic he was when you finally decided that you could say yes.

You'd made lots of progress since then, but even now, with how comfortable you were with him, you were still cautious. It was almost as if you expected to be hurt. That at some moment Peter would pull off a mask and show you a 'true self'.

Normally, she'd try to sneakily butt in and ease your worries, but she knew it wasn't her place. You'd have to find out on your own that Peter would never hurt you.

And she could see that Peter was reaching that point that Ben often would. When there was only one thing on his mind and it would dominate his thoughts and it was like he was a balloon all too ready to pop.

"Give her time, Pete," May said one day out of the blue, causing Peter's head to snap up. "I know what you've been thinking about lately, and I just wanna tell you to give her some time. Trust your instinct."

Her nephew smiled, amazed at how well she could read him. He nodded. "Okay."

And true to his word, he waited until he felt the time was right.

He was walking you home, a lovesick smile on his face as you ranted passionately about some stupid tv show.

Your eyes held so much joy and wonder. He just wanted that to go on forever.

When he was little, he always thought it was corny when his uncle Ben would sit him down and tell him about his first 'I love you' with May. But now, he understood. Because this was a feeling that everyone should want to feel.

"Guess it's time to go, Pete," you said. "Thanks for tonight-"

"-I love you."

He said it confidently the first time. So sure and so certain that he wanted you to hear it.

But when you hadn't caught what he said exactly and wanted him to repeat it, it all went away. What if it wasn't what you wanted to hear? What if you weren't ready to say it back?

He looked down at his shoes. "I-i, um.." Taking a deep breath, he looked back into your eyes and said it again. "I said I love you..."

You didn't say it back immediately, and that really threw him for a loop. Instead, you shifted and looked anywhere but to him.

"I-i mean, you don't have to s-say it back. That's totally fine," he rambled. "I-i just s-sorta wanted you..to-to know..."

"Are you sure you love me?," you said, your eyes becoming a bit glossy.

You'd never heard those words spoken like that before. You never thought that you ever would.

A little confused, Peter scrunched his eyebrows together but smiled. "Who else could I love?," he chuckled a bit. "I mean, I do love Ned, and Aunt May, and Mr. Stark, and MJ... but none of them this way.. not like this," he confirmed for you.

He'd never seen such uncertainty in your eyes before. You held yourself and started to back away a bit, cluing to him that he'd done something wrong.

Maybe you weren't ready to say it back he figured. Maybe you wouldn't be for a long time. But he knew right then and there, that he wanted nothing more than for you to be, and he'd wait forever for it to happen.

"Look, [Y/N]. I'm sorry," he began, tearing up a bit, but there was no way he was gonna be crying in front of you. "You probably don't-"

He was shut up when he felt your arms tightly wrapped around him.

"I love you too," you said back, fully crying tears of joy at this point. "I love you so much Peter!"

At that, he started to cry too. You actually said it back. This was perfect. You were perfect.

"Full warning," he said, pushing back so that he could see your entire tear stained, doey eyed, perfect face. "Now that I've got you, I'm never letting you go."

All you did in response was smile widely and pull him closer. It was a confirmation of what the two of you had done. And neither of you would ever forget it.

"You're so precious, baby," he softly whispered into your ear. "I'll love y-"

"Um, excuse me why is my daughter crying?," a rough voice broke in.

The two of you looked to the side to see your father at the door with his arms crossed. He looked to Peter's face. "Oh and you're crying too," he noted. "And you're both smiling- Oh my God you didn't ask to marry her did you?"

"Their vitals show that they are happy, Mr. Stark," F.R.I.D.A.Y. broke in. "If you would like, I can play back the last five mintues recorded from the door for you; starting with the words 'I love you'. That phrase seems to have started this ordeal."

You and Peter looked to each other before you both burst into laughter. "That little snitch," you said.

Your father rolled his eyes. "Alright continue your little.. thing," he said. Then he pointed to Peter. "But you're not allowed in her bedroom tonight, underoos. Too many emotions going around and I don't trust it. You two stay in the living room."

"Oh-uh," Peter scratched the back of his head. "I actually better be on my way home for dinner. Have a nice night, Mr. Stark." He looked to you and his blush deepened. "Bye sweetheart. Love you."

"Love you too," you responded, to which your dad made vomit sounds as he walked into the building.

-

That night, Peter literally skipped down the sidewalk all the way home, humming and having spontaneous bouts of laughter.

Walking into his home, he quickly yelled out.

"May! May c'mere!"

"What's up?," she yelled back. "Did the date go well? What happened? Oh my gosh are you crying?"

Peter shook his head slightly. "No no no no I'm just...so happy right now!"

He ran to hug her, smiling brightly.

"She said it May... I told her and she said it back."

-

You walked into the game room after having a squealing fit in your room.

You walked in and was immediately met with... applause?

The entire team was sitting there looking at you and there was a cake... what?

You couldn't hear everyone because they were speaking all at once. It wasn't until you were patted on the shoulder and turned to see Rhodey standing there. "Hey kid..make sure you two have a condom when you finally...do it."

Your face scrunched up. "What?!"

"Yeah, Tony showed us the footage," Bruce said, appearing on the other side of you.

"He- what?!"

Bucky laughed, taking a big cut out of the cake. "Peter probably would've snuck into the bedroom with you too, if Tony hadn't cockblocked you. But yeah we threw you a little love party."

You blushed profusely as Sam swung an arm around you. "Hey Steve! That was a language word!"

Steve rolled his eyes and then looked to you. "Congrats [Y/N]."

"Okay, this is officially weird and I'm going to bed."

"Okay but check the room for any spiders first!," Rhodes yelled out, earning a middle finger as you walked away.

When you made it to your room, you threw yourself onto the bed with a sigh.

"He loves me...he actually loves me."

[random-esfp]

YOONGI BTS MBTI - INTJ

“Ni doms need a sense of deeper purpose and direction in life” (@mbti-notes)

Ni (Introverted intuition): To me, Ni is even more obvious in Yoongi than in Namjoon (INFJ). It’s true that Ni doms are rare but maybe that’s the reason why Namjoon and Yoongi connected that well in the 1st place. Ni doms need a sense of deeper purpose and direction in life, and I can see them having that in common. Ni doms are usually intense, and INTJs especially need to observe situations for a long time before taking action, they wait until the bigger picture becomes more clear, and that’s why they are labelled as “procrastinators” or “lazy” when in reality INTJs prove to be hard-working, tenacious and ambitious. Yoongi explores and expects more about future. His life has been based in envisioning himself doing something and then following a structured path to achieve his goal (Ni + Te).  For example, people who use Ne can’t be limited to thinking of a goal and following the path upstream, they always have open options bubbling in their head, while INTJs feel the most confident when possessing a strong sense of purpose to guide their long-term direction.

Te (Extroverted intuition): xxTJs want tangible results of their efforts and to maximize good results, and that’s his working method. Yoongi's story of becoming an idol defines Ni + Te very well. I personally believe that if Yoongi weren’t a Te user, with all the difficulties he had to go through, physically, economically and mentally before debuting, he wouldn’t have made it. It was because of their tenacious and ambitious personality (Te) and the clear vision he had of what he wanted to be (Ni). His “predictions” didn't end when he debuted, or when BTS won daesangs, he always follows one step ahead. He can’t stop working. Lately, we have seen a more relaxed Yoongi. With all his life-purposes mainly met (how lucky), now he’s drawn to “learn to be happy”, and although it seems beautiful, Yoongi’s mind works with goals, and he fears not having them. That’s why he has to LEARN to be content and happy now that he’s at the top. Despite being apparently more relaxed, recently he has said he has “a lot of problems” and the song Shadow is the song that best expresses his current state of mind. As I will explain now.

Fi (Introverted Feeling): Because of Fi, INTJs are way more emotional, intense and passionate than what they would like to admit. Whenever I read Yoongi's lyrics and the passion with which he raps I only see either an individualistic suffering or an arrogant ambition of "this is me, here I am", while Namjoon is super obvious Fe user. Namjoon is much more subservient, people-oriented, and Yoongi only says what he thinks without being in the service of anyone. It's like Namjoon wants to bond with people while Yoongi wants to show himself how he is and you don’t like it, then fine. Despite being a huge introvert, I don't find him struggling with inferior Fe as Jungkook, who is so obvious when he's uncomfortable with feelings and emotional situations, Yoongi doesn't seem uncomfortable, but rather he prefers to get rid of emotions to continue his work and move on, but he knows he has them and has no trouble expressing them when necessary. 

His message to be true of oneself is so recurrent. Shadow talks about how he wanted to be everything that he has finally been able to be: a successful world star. But then, why does it feel so dark up here? Why does it feel so lonely and empty? Did I choose right? 

Once, I made a research of MBTI as fictional villains and INTJs made the perfect villain except for one thing: they see a straight tunnel, the perfect path to achieve their goals, step by step and usually only count on themselves to do so, discrediting most unpredictable events and factors that eventually end up with the (most likely bold and improviser ESxP) hero winning. 

What I mean is that, because of Ni+Te, Yoongi saw clearly that tunnel and eventually reached where he wanted to end up. But, once he got there, he didn’t feel like he thought he would (maybe because he didn’t want to be an idol. An underground rapper would’ve fitted him better but it would probably mean he would had not been even half as famous, successful and admired as he is). So there’s the inner conflict Yoongi has. His songs Her, Tear, Seesaw and Shadow are quite revealing oh this. His ambition (Te) vs. his inner self well-being (Fi). And the need of spiting this out that much is such a Fi behaviour. If he isn’t able to be whoever he wants to be, there must be a way to express himself: the music. 

He said this recently: “I don’t ever think of my slumps as slumps. But when it hits, I try to stay extremely busy and bombard myself with things to get done. And as I bustle around to get those done, I overcome. If you’re feeling stuck, try to concentrate on figuring out who you are. You are the most important thing in this all.”

Se (Extroverted sensing): Yoongi always tries to avoid any type of activity that forces him to be aware of any external stimuli. Specially WATER GAMES. It's beyond laziness, it's a weakness of Inferior Se. And he is selective about it becasue do y’all remember he likes basket? Yoongi likes to be engaged with himself and his thoughts, the motionless he is, the better he feels. Sometimes I think that the "extreme patience" they say he has when everyone touches, teases and annoys him and he stands there literally doing nothing is because it is very easy for him to disconnect and detach of the world and its stimuli, like any Ni-dom. But, beyond that, I really see him embracing Se (okay who hasn’t seen the Just Dance vlive party I mean). His job as a performer, not only musician, has strengthened his Se a lot. Yoongi can go from 0 to 100 real quick, he has sudden bursts of fun-loving person but he gets easily drained also, and although he can be spontaneous, especially since he is at the music industry, his core is not to improvise. He isn’t impulsive at all. Yoongi wouldn’t put his feet out of his comfort zone impulsively at all. (x)

Anyway, stan Yoongi he’s the best man alive.