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mynumberfivethings · 4 years

Text

I Heard A Rumor...

They land back in 2019, which is a relief, of course, until it’s not.

“What the fuck even is the Sparrow Academy?” Diego grouses. “Lame ass bird fucks.” he chucks one of his knives across the cramped motel room they’re currently occupying and watches it get lodged firmly into the tacky wallpaper.

Allison grabs the second knife Diego’s about to fling out of his hand and glares daggers at her brother. “We’re staying here for free, because I rumored the motel staff into not noticing we exist, so maybe don’t wreck the place?”

Luther nods in agreement. “Allison’s right, we need to be as inconspicuous as possible right now.”

Diego rolls his eyes. “Whatever. So Five, now what?” the siblings all go to turn to Five for the answers they’re so desperately seeking, only to be met with the sight of the pseudo thirteen year old laid curled up on one of the beds, sound asleep.

Luther frowns. “How in the hell can he seriously sleep at a time like this?”

Allison leans over Fives still form and not so gently shakes his shoulder, jarring him awake. She feels a little guilt upon seeing the initially panicked look on his face as he comes to awareness once again, but damn it, she just wants to see her kid again, is that too much to ask?

“We need to figure out a way to get back to our timeline.” she tells him, arms folded over her chest.

Five scratches the sleep from his eyes, unaware he’d even passed out in the first place, wincing as he sits up fully on the mattress. “This is our timeline.” he informs all of them, his voice coming out scratchy and thin. God, he’s exhausted. And practically everything aches.

“What do you mean?” Klaus shakes his head. “In our timeline Ben is very much dead-not some weird emo douche who flocks with a crew of birds-so please do explain how the actual hell this makes any sense.”

Five sighs, “We changed the linear time of events and the order in which they were supposed to originally occur when we were in the sixties and now this is, for all intents and purposes, our timeline.”

“Screw that. We need to reestablish our actual timeline.” Allison counters. “I’m not staying in this weird alternate bullshit dimension any longer than we have to-we still have the suitcase, right? Let’s go back to the sixties and fix what we broke. Easy.”

Five looks at her like she’s lost her mind. Which, she very well may have, he thinks briefly. “Look, I know you want to see Claire again, but you need to consider-”

“No.” Allison interrupts angrily, tears starting to fill her eyes. “You don’t understand at all. How the hell could you? You haven’t had anyone for years, but me? I’ve had people, people I care about-which might be a foreign concept to someone like you, but-”

“Right,” Five cuts her off in turn, unwilling to linger on the sting her words have caused. “I just need time to-”

“Time? Haven’t you had enough of that, already?” Suddenly the room is engulfed in complete and utter darkness and the Hargreeves go into high alert, trying to figure out where the hell that voice is coming from.

Could it be one of the Sparrow Academy heroes? Could they have followed them to the outskirts of town?

“Show yourself, you coward!” Diego shouts, knives at the ready to attack their intruder.

A flash of thunder illuminates the room for only a split second before the lights come back on and the Hargreeves find themselves frozen in place, unable to move even a muscle, try as they might.

Save for one: Five.

“What the hell...” he mutters, as he watches his siblings struggle to try and move from their positions.

“Now, Allison.” that same disturbing voice commands.

Allisons eyes go wide as her mouth begins to move without her permission and out come the words, “I heard a rumor you killed your brothers and sisters.”

They watch with dawning horror as Fives eyes roll to the back of his head and turn an off shade of blue before he seamlessly plucks Diegos knife from where it was embedded in the wall earlier and faces his family, where they stand, helpless.

“Shit!” Diego curses, trying in vain to move even a single digit.

Vanya tries to conjure her own powers but finds that she can’t for some reason. “Five...” she calls out, knowing it’s futile.

Five blinks over to Klaus first, who yelps in surprise, he barely has time to beg Five to reconsider when Five brings the knife down-

There’s boisterous screaming and panicked yelling and general chaos and Klaus is so sure this is it, that Five has plunged the knife straight into his heart and done away with him, until he opens his eyes and realizes nothing is protruding out of him...

Instead, Five has thrust the knife into his own leg. He’s breathing hard, his trembling fingers still hovering over the hilt of the weapon.

The disembodied voice booms, “Allison!”

And Allison curses, but she can’t stop the words from tumbling out of her mouth. “I heard a rumor you stabbed me in the jugular.”

Fives eyes go pale blue for a second time and without even flinching he takes the knife out of his upper thigh and blinks so that he’s facing Allison this time.

They can all see him struggling, perspiring, fighting against the rumor as he brandishes the knife in one hand, raising it up above his head slowly.

Allison tries to let out another rumor, a contradicting rumor, perhaps, the way she had done when Five had been in front of Klaus, but again, the words get stuck in her throat.

Whatever being is in the room is in total control of her powers...

Allison feels something collide with her neck but it’s not the sharp sting of a knife she’s expecting. It’s Five’s forearm against her, protecting her from his own attack as he shoves the knife directly into his flesh. He’s panting now, with the force that it’s taken him not to obey her mind control.

“Kill them.” the voice demands angrily.

“Fuck you.” Five bites out through clenched teeth.

As if those were the magic words, the voice departs and the Hargreeves can feel their limbs and move about once again, the tense atmosphere dissipating.

“Holy shit!” Klaus gasps out, “What the fuck, Jesus!”

Five grunts as he removes the knife from his forearm and wields it threateningly. “Allison,” he practically begs, his voice strained. “Unrumor me. Now.”

Allison is more than happy to comply, hurriedly saying, “I heard a rumor you didn’t want us dead.”

The knife clatters as it hits the floor and Five collapses next to it a second later, exhausted and hurting something awful.

“Shit,” Diego grabs a bunch of hand towels from the bathroom and kneels down. “We gotta stop the bleeding.” He presses two towels against the stab wound on Fives forearm and Vanya grabs the rest to press against the one on his thigh.

Five tenses up beneath them, his face scrunching up in pain. “Fuck!”

“I saw a first aid kit in the lobby by the front desk, I’ll go get it!” Allison calls out, already halfway out the door in her haste.

“Should we move him to the bed?” Luther asks, hovering over his siblings, concern and anxiety eating away at him.

Diego curses. The hand towels are drenched in blood already. They need to stop the bleeding and soon, or else. “Elevate his leg.” he orders, letting Luther help Vanya try to stem the bleeding there. “Klaus, go get more towels from one of the maids if you can.” Klaus scurries to obey while the others continue to put pressure on Fives multiple injuries.

Klaus and Allison arrive back at the motel room almost simultaneously, one with a stack of clean towels in their arms and the other with a giant red box in hand.

With the extra towels and the supplies from the medical kit, they’re somehow able to stop the bleeding long enough to move Five up to the bed. Luther’s extremely gentle as he transfers him from one spot to the other.

When it’s time to stitch him up, Vanya and Klaus volunteer to do it. Five is too exhausted, both mentally and physically to pretend to be stoic about any of this. He throws his good arm across his face, shielding his eyes from the light.

“What do you guys think that was?” Luther asks the room at large, when the silence stretches on too long.

Klaus doesn’t look up from where he’s threading his needle on Fives thigh, replying dryly. “Yet another person place or thing that wants us dead?”

Diego scoffs. “It’s gotta be one of those Sparrow fuckheads. Who the hell else? I bet it was that goddamn cube-I still can’t believe dad adopted a fucking cube-Christ.”

“Whatever it was, it was in control of my powers.” Allison frowns deeply. “When I tried to unrumor Five nothing came out-even when I tried rumoring one of you into being able to move again, so that at least we would stand a fighting chance against our little serial killer over here, nothing.”

Vanya nods, “Same here. I tried to use my powers but it was like there was some kind of a block or something? Like when I was still taking those prescription pills.” She looks at Fives pale face-what she can see of it, from underneath his forearm-and risks the question, “Five, how did you manage not to....you know...?” As someone who’s had first hand experience being unwillingly rumored by their sister, she knows it’s not something one can easily brush off.

Quite frankly, it’s a miracle they’re all still breathing...

“Yeah, I thought for sure we were dead.” Diego walks over and playfully ruffles the top of Fives messy hair. “Good job not making yourself an only child.” he jokes, freezing entirely when in response to his teasing Five lets out what can only be described as a faint whimper.

“Five?”

“I almost killed everyone.” Five struggles to get the full sentence out, his breath hitching. “Fuck.” he curses, unable to stifle a sob. It’s a pathetically sad little noise, but it brings the rest of his siblings to his side immediately.

“Hey,” Allison kneels down beside the bed and places a careful hand on his knee. She feels him flinch underneath her. “You resisted my rumor-twice. Do you know how rare that is? You saved us.”

Five scrubs his face with the sleeve of his white button up shirt and finally uncovers his eyes. They’re red and puffy from crying, eyelashes wet with his tears. “I don’t want to be alone anymore.” he admits brokenly. “I can’t lose you guys again.”

“Shit Five,” Diego leans down and briefly touches their foreheads together, the palm of his hand cupping Fives head. “You’re not alone, we’re right here. Not going anywhere.”

Vanya nods determinedly. “That’s right. You’re stuck with us.”

Luther towers over the group with a faint but genuine smile. “You know, I always figured you loved us, but I guess I didn’t realize the extent until today.”

Five sniffles, wiping away more tears he can’t seem to stop from coming. “I would trade you all up for a decent cup of coffee.” he lies, feeling more exposed than he has in literal years.

Klaus smirks. “Nuh uh, no take backs, Fivey. You loooooove us.”

Five rolls his eyes but it doesn’t have quite the same effect it normally would, considering the fact that he is still very much crying.

Allison clears her throat, squeezes his knee again, this time to get his attention, and says, “And we love you. I’d ask if you know that, but honestly I think the answer would make me too sad.” she sighs. “Five, I’m really sorry about what I said before-I was taking all my frustrations out on you and I spoke carelessly, without thinking.”

Five shakes his head, overwhelmed. “It’s ok.”

“It’s not.” Allison insists. “Five, I don’t know if anyone’s said this yet, but I think it’s long overdue. I’m so happy to see you again. I missed you, you know. A ton.”

Five didn’t think he was childish enough to still need to hear such silly sentimental things. He’s not the type, he’s tried to convince himself. It’s not as though he was expecting some big tearful family reunion upon his arrival, after all. So he wasn’t crushed or anything when his return was met with little more than perhaps confused contemptment. He had things to do, apocalypses to stop and all that jazz.

That’s what he told himself, of course.

But it doesn’t ring very true now, not when he can’t help but let out another sob.

He’s too old for this, he thinks, as Diego pulls him gently to his side and Allison grabs hold of his hand.

He doesn’t need them to love him back, he thinks, as Klaus finishes taping up his wound with a tenderness only reserved for those he loves, as Vanya wraps gauze around his forearm with care.

He’s been fine all this time, he thinks, even as Luther says, “Good to have you back, Five.”

It’s good to be back, he thinks, turning his head so that it’s buried against Diego’s shoulder when he lets out another sob.

#tua #long post #fic #the umbrella academy #five hargreeves #number five #the boy #hurt/comfort #five gets rumored #hargreeves family #hargreeves siblings

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altumvidetur · 4 years

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Pacific Rim: Newmann Fic Recs

So, I was thinking about the coronavirus pandemic and what I could do to help people out. I’m isolated because I’m at higher risk, so I can’t really offer to go out for my elderly neighbors or my family… but I thought I could try to help keep people entertained.

Because I don’t have an AO3 account right now, I’ve been compiling fic recs for my own amusement for a year or so. And I thought – maybe that’s the time to share these with everyone? So everyone will have plenty of things to read while they have to stay at home, or even to escape anxiety a little bit if you’re forced to go out.

Of course, these cater to my own tastes, so you may find stuff you don’t like around here. I never include works in progress. The Mature and Explicit works will be in italic. I ask you to READ THE WORK’S TAGS before continuing, so you won’t find anything that makes you uncomfortable.

I haven’t managed to read the whole Newmann tag yet (started on page 183, am now on page 77). From what I’ve gathered, most of these recs are from before Pacific Rim Uprising. I watched that movie (although I wish I hadn’t), so feel free to discuss it. I hope you like them!

“The Things That Stay” ‘verse, by singagainsoon

a collection of non-linear moments, snapshots, tiny dots on an endless timeline

i would kill to make you feel, by singagainsoon

Hermann gets really red when he’s mad - his ears, his cheeks, his stupid fucking cute nose. Even his neck gets these big red spots on it. It’s funny. It’s really, seriously funny.

i’ll be a rockin’, rollin’ bitch for you, by singagainsoon

“Don’t be foolish, Newton. I can think of a hundred better things for you to do with that mouth-“

Entomologist AU, by singagainsoon

Two weeks ago, he’d been in the midst of furiously tapping out an absolutely incensed email to the man who somehow managed to consistently infuriate him from another department, even, and what Hermann would have given then to strangle him, truly - and then Dr. Geiszler himself had appeared in Hermann’s doorway, toeing the carpet with his scuffed up Doc Martens and asking if they might try to talk things out over dinner.

Hermann hadn’t known it was a date.

they did the mash!, by singagainsoon

obligatory newt-wears-a-sexy-halloween-costume-and-hermann-has-to-rail-him-because-he-can’t-help-himself ficlet!! tis the season!!

(video) call me at any time, by singagainsoon

When Newt finds himself away from Hermann for a business trip of sorts, they figure out fairly quickly that they won’t last until Newton comes home.

Good Vibrations, by singagainsoon

“Newton, are you quite certain about this?”

Newt smiles, gives the odd-shaped dildo in his hand a teasing wave and sets it aside in favor of the vibrator. His face seems to hint at something along the lines of Funny Thing To Say When You’ve Just Had A Dildo In Your Ass, but he doesn’t say it.

my lovely, talented friend and fellow writer gaby commissioned me to write this piece and let me tell you i had the time of my life (as did hermann, i’m sure)

A Certain Step Towards Falling In Love, by singagainsoon

“You’re terribly lucky, darling, that my father is away,” he says, voice low, smoothing his palm over Newton’s wind-tousled hair.

Eating In, by singagainsoon

It really was supposed to be just a massage.

you make me feel so young, by zach_stone

In the wake of saving the world, Hermann decided to appreciate the little things.

Or, Hermann and Newt go grocery shopping. And, because it’s Newt, shenanigans ensue.

seven minutes in heaven, by zach_stone

Hermann was enjoying a quiet, peaceful morning when Newton burst into the lab and shoved both of them into a closet.

in other words, i love you, by zach_stone

Newt is having a difficult day. Hermann has an idea to make it better.

hold me in this wild, wild world, by zach_stone

Hermann didn’t often allow himself to cry. Humanity was barreling towards the end of days, and he simply didn’t have time to fall to pieces, not when people needed him — needed his work. But four rangers had died. He decided he could allow himself one small moment of grief.

–

Or, some Hermann-centric hurt/comfort because I just want to give him a hug. Set pre-canon.

it might be over soon, by zach_stone

To celebrate a victory, Newt steals a bottle of booze and he and Hermann drink, argue, and maybe finally act on their feelings.

hey i just met you (and this is crazy), by zach_stone

Newt Geiszler accidentally texts the wrong number when trying to message his roommate Raleigh, and instead winds up texting Hermann Gottlieb, who he’s never met.

(AKA a college texting AU that I promise was absolutely necessary)

worthy of celebration, by zach_stone

It’s a well-known fact around the Shatterdome that Hermann does not like his birthday. This year, Newt’s determined to change that.

lab-appropriate decor, by zach_stone

“For god’s sake, Newton, that is wildly inappropriate,” Hermann snapped. “Those things are not cute, they are abominations. I don’t know why I’m surprised, once again you prove that you have no tact —” “Oh, give it a rest, Hermann,” Newton retorted, rolling his eyes. “It’s not an abomination, it’s two feet tall and made of plastic.”

Or, some backstory to the one of the kaiju figures in Hermann’s lab in Uprising.

The Geiszler & Gottlieb Post-Saving-the-World Lecture Tour, by zach_stone

Following Newt and Hermann as they tour universities, argue across podiums, and fall in love.

feel your heartlines, by zach_stone

Newt and Hermann cuddling on the couch at the end of a lazy summer day.

We Don’t Skip A Beat, by decadent_mousse

Summary by me: Newt, Hermann, and their heartbeat over the years.

the lure of adventure, by zach_stone

Newt is a reckless treasure hunter. Hermann is an intrepid journalist. On their search for some long-lost treasure, they run into a little more trouble than they bargained for.

AU based loosely on the Uncharted video game series - no knowledge of the games needed to understand the fic!

wouldn’t it be nice, by zach_stone

Newt and Hermann spend a day at the beach.

take your time, make it slow, by zach_stone

Hermann was far from shy in bed, but was quick to brush off Newt’s insistent (and one hundred percent correct, Newt might add) claims that he was the sexiest person to walk the earth. Well, if Hermann wouldn’t believe his words, then maybe he’d believe his actions. And Newt was nothing if not a man of action.

–

Prompt fill for Newmann Porn Fest 2018: “Body Worship” !!

when you are close to me, i shiver, by zach_stone

When the heating goes out in the lab, Newt comes up with a great idea on how to stay warm.

–

Another fic for the Newmann Porn Fest 2018! Prompt was “huddling together for warmth” ;)

it suits you, by zach_stone

“Newton, for goodness’ sake, can we just — no.” Hermann frowned at the selections Newt held up in front of him. A pair of overalls and a red-and-black flannel shirt, both Newt’s. “I am not wearing dungarees.” “Okay, first of all, cute that you call them dungarees,” Newt said, grinning. “Second of all, you would look very cute in these, they’re seasonal, and I am not kidding when I say you’ll ruin your slacks if you wear them to a farm.” He wiggled the overalls in Hermann’s direction, the buckles on the braces jingling as he did so. Hermann let out a long-suffering sigh, mostly for show. He really did need to invest in a pair of jeans.

–

Fic for the Newmann SFW Fest! Prompts were “sharing clothes/personal items” and “pumpkin/apple picking”

ease my slumber, by zach_stone

Newt can’t sleep; luckily, Hermann’s got a really soothing voice.

–

Or, a conversation about how Hermann would have a good voice for ASMR turned into this.

pick up and start again, by zach_stone

“This,” Hermann says imperiously, glaring at Newt from the other side of the elevator, “is your fault.”

Newt whips around to face him so fast he almost loses his balance. “My fault?! How the hell is this my fault?!” He gestures wildly at the elevator door. “Oh, I’m so sorry, I forgot it was my personal responsibility to make sure this piece of shit elevator is maintained so I don’t get trapped in it with the most annoying person in the Shatterdome —”

“You’re always trapped with yourself though, aren’t you?” Hermann sneers, and Newt lets out a hysterical bark of laughter. This cannot be happening. Of all the times for the elevator to break down between floors, it has to happen now, when he and Hermann are in the midst of a fight that’s quickly blown itself out of proportion.

–

Newt and Hermann get stuck in an elevator, and are forced to work out some of their shit.

just your touch could cure my lonesome blood, by zach_stone

Four times all Newt needed was a hug from Hermann, and one time it was the other way around.

(Or, sentimental cuddling: the fic.)

Heart and Soul, by zach_stone

A quiet day in the lab is interrupted when Newt coerces Hermann into playing piano with him.

My contribution to The Last Line of Defense Zine (spring 2019)!

Lullaby & Rain, by j_gabrielle

It still blows his mind, still makes him stop in his frenetic need to move, speak and think whenever he remembers that Hermann…

Whatever Hermann is to him these days.

Carry Me To You, by j_gabrielle

For the prompt on the kink meme that asked for; Hermann/Newton. Lab sex

the world ablaze, that’s the best for me, by postcardmystery

Summary by me: Newt and Hermann are two unstoppable forces of nature.

Please, Sir, May I Have Another, by eigengrau

It isn’t until Newt is bent over the desk, papers and glass specimen jars strewn about like the debris of a hurricane, white-knuckling the hard stainless steel with his pants around his ankles, that he realizes the gravity of the situation.

Hide and Seek, by DoubleStashed

Summary by me: Hermann Gottlieb - life and love for Newt Geiszler.

pull the trigger without thinking, by liginamite

It’s manageable for the first few days. Shared emotions, shared thoughts, words spoken in unison. But it’s only when they share a nightmare born of memories that it finally occurs to them that maybe this isn’t going to go away.

Rechtsbrecher, by Ezlebe

“If you’ve lost your key again, you’re not getting another,” Hermann says, sidestepping past Newton’s hunched form on the steps.

Darling, by BeeLove

In which Newton rides Hermann for all he’s worth. Or at least tries to.

unravelling, by kiyala

It’s been a while since Newton’s taken his meds. Hermann begins to notice.

All of Your Flaws and All of My Flaws, by CinnamonCake

Hermann is still there tomorrow and the day after and Newton tries to not break his face with the door again.

and i fell fine, by ohgod

The other night I dreamt of knives, continental drift divide –

what history has given me, by kiyala

In which Newton is a girl and she really doesn’t have the time for your shit.

Solving For X, by griesly

No matter what opinion Doctor Gottlieb had proclaimed concerning his tattoos on numerous occasions, Newt knew the score. He’d glimpsed a heady rush of somewhat mortified appreciation, just an old memory surfacing in the Drift from the first time Newt rolled up his sleeves in the lab. He could still feel it like a taut string in Hermann’s mind, in the same way he knew his lab partner was too surly to ever admit it. It was all tangled up with his impression of the way Newt approached the world, a precisely calibrated instrument in one hand and a nail-bat in the other. Newt had to smile at the way Hermann saw him, a churlish adolescent and a half-mad genius all wrapped up in a hurricane.

…or, sometimes even the sharpest minds in the PPDC can be excused for a being a bit dense.

Towards, by orphan_account

Based vaguely off the Lemony Snicket quote: “When someone is crying, of course, the noble thing to do is to comfort them. But if someone is trying to hide their tears, it may also be noble to pretend you do not notice them.”

Hermann finds Newt in the lab after the clock stops, and realizes that sometimes all you can do is wait.

Dear Diary,, by ohgod

That is way, way, WAY too close to my whole InuYasha phase. Do-over!

the night will go on, by ohgod

Mako is sheltered, Herc is old, Raleigh doesn’t want to know about any of this, and Tendo is a perpetual asshole.

I Get My Kicks Above the Waistline, Sunshine, by ambitiousbutrubbish

Summary by me: Newton’s exploration of his asexuality.

corpus callosum, by hieronyma

1 + 1 = 1.

when it’s broken, it’s perfect, by liginamite

Love is not divided up into neat little graphs and numbers and theorems, able to be charted if one only took the time and effort to do so. No, love is… it is unpredictable and volatile. Hermann doesn’t really do unpredictable and volatile, but with Newt he doesn’t have much of a say in the matter.

After the Rockets Calm, by callmejude

written for the kink meme prompt: “The morning after Newt and Hermann sleep together for the first time, Hermann comes over all ridiculously British and can’t cope with the intimacy and loss of inhibition. Newt is having none of that nonsense and tells him to quit fussing and come back to bed for snuggles.”

behind us, by kiyala

After the Breach is closed, Newt asks Hermann to go to Boston with him. Hermann doesn’t leave.

They Say It’s Your Birthday, by callmejude

for the kink meme prompt: These two have worked together for many years, and obviously have had to continue working through special occasions, including their birthdays. I know they strongly disliked each other, but deep down they are good friends and I’d love to see anything (slashy or friendshippy) showing how they acknowledge or celebrate birthdays. I’m betting Newt is secretly into baking and Hermann comes in one day on his birthday not expecting anyone to even know, only to find a Kaiju shaped cake on his desk with a sparkler or a candle stuck messily in the centre. Or or or Newt comes in on his 30th birthday and he’s like depressed and absurdly quiet for the day cause he’s not ready to be that old and Hermann realizes why he’s being all docile so he takes off at lunch only to return with pizza and stuff to cheer Newt up and celebrate his birthday. OR YOU KNOW ANYTHING YOU WANT.

within reason, by kiyala

Newt goes to the Skull Temple after the Breach is closed. Hermann goes with him.

pull you through the mirror (before you come undone), by griesly

The War is over. The war is over, and everyone else has something important to do and somewhere else to be except Newt.

shaken, by kiyala

Newton has nightmares. Sometimes, Hermann has them too.

Imagine Sisyphus Happy, by Jenni_Snake

They’re colonists… we’ve practically terraformed it for them. -Dr. Newton Geiszler

“The thing we saw with the Europeans was that they wanted their new world enough: they didn’t care who stood in their way.” -Dr. Melanie Mountain Horse

“Do not rely not on the likelihood of the enemy’s not coming, but on our own readiness to receive them.” -Sun Tsu

“The gods had condemned Sisyphus to ceaselessly rolling a rock to the top of a mountain, whence the stone would fall back of its own weight. They had thought with some reason that there is no more dreadful punishment than futile and hopeless labor. … I leave Sisyphus at the foot of the mountain. One always finds one’s burden again. … One must imagine Sisyphus happy.” -Albert Camus

How The Light Gets In, by griesly

He’d told Hermann time and time again that he didn’t love the kaiju, he studied them with a curiosity born from a life-long fascination with the giants of the earth. Newt had always been the dinosaur kid – still was, if he was being honest with himself, and the kaiju were the biggest, most awe inspiring terrors he’d ever seen.

the body is not an apology, by BeeLove

In which Hermann triggers some of Newton’s insecurities and strives to make up for it.

When Two Substances Collide, by Emileesaurus and ripkord

Doctors Geiszler and Gottlieb — the first ones in and the last ones out. Thirteen scenes from the countdown to the end of the world.

Scar, by mlle

A tiny thing written for Jaegercon Bingo.

Not every tattoo makes a scar.

I’ve got nothing to say but it’s ok, by madness_and_smiles

Newt’s burned into Hermann’s brain now, like an itch he can’t scratch. Whenever they’re in the same room together – which Newt likes to make sure is almost always – there’s the low hum at the back of his mind telling him Newt is there and Newt is feeling and breathing and sometimes they feel and breathe in unison and it makes Hermann drop his chalk.

in which kaiju guts were not part of the wedding vows, by orphan_account

“You’ve got your glower face on,” Newt remarked above him, and Hermann opened his eyes just to scowl at Newt’s concerned face.

“I am a thread away from murdering my own science team, so, yes, I suppose a glower here and there would not go amiss.”

Seeing in Color, by what_alchemy

The Dr. Geiszler Hermann had found in the publications — printed pages worn with constant handling and tucked into his briefcase for easy access — was an eloquent scientist whose work functioned at a level far above almost anyone else Hermann had ever encountered in the field, and yet he neither patronized his readers nor expressed himself in the inexplicable jargon which so infected much academic work. He was singular in his intelligence. Hermann thought this was a man he could understand — and who could understand him in turn.

More fool he.

Kämpfen, by Huntsmonsters

“The point is that Hermann loves numbers like they were his children, except that Hermann hates children. He loves them and the way they go together the way Newt loves every sample that enters his collection, the way he loves tattoo needles and his books of scribbled anatomical drawings and the harried, barely legible, 4 in the morning notes scrawled around them when the first pieces of a freshly dead Kaiju come in. These are the tools with which they carve themselves, the knives and chisels and guides, the planes on which their shapes are made. Hermann is held up by his cane, but it isn’t the reason he’s standing. They’ve both gone through the rabbit hole and come out again with something clenched in their fists. ”

In which arguments are had over equations and entrails, vivisections are banned, and Newt uses ink to prepare for the possibility of death.

I Was the Match And You Were The Rock, by griesly

Written for the Jaegercon Bingo Square: ‘The Drift’

'Hermann is strong and solid and stable even if no one else at the PPDC would ever think so, Newt knows so, and come to think of it, he always has. He just never knew the man’s mind would be so goddamn beautiful, so bright and full of purpose and satisfaction at a job well done that somehow, impossibly, included him.’

Lucky Number Seven, by griesly

'Newton?’ Hermann called out, only to hear an answering 'Shhh!’ issue from behind a moving curtain. He appeared to have cordoned off an area in the back corner of the lab with heavy screens, labeled 'Light-Sensitive Specimens – DO NOT TOUCH.’ Newton poked his head around the corner with a slightly manic grin.

'Lock the door,’ he advised before motioning Hermann enthusiastically over to a break in a thick curtain. Hermann frowned and paced across the room, wondering what could possibly be so important and so secretive that Newton would have to obfuscate its very existence.

Whatever it was, Hermann was certain he wasn’t going to like it.

autoclave, by cynicalRaconteur

Or: How the fuck is she so attractive, she dresses like my grandfather, I want to punch myself in the face: the Newt Geiszler story.

nyctophobia (into the light of the dark black night), by orphan_account

“See, the thing about birthdays is they’re totally an annual thing,” Newt explained, handing Hermann his latte. “And I’ve known you for, what, twelve years? Thirteen?”

“Fifteen,” Hermann interjected tersely. “And a half.”

Do you have Prince Albert in a can?, by mwestbelle

Newt has a Prince Albert piercing. That’s about it.

This Most Beautiful System, by rosepetalfall

Like Watson and Crick, Newton Geiszler and Hedda Gottlieb are two scientific names almost invariably thought of together.

Hedda Gottlieb and Newton Geiszler grow up, save the world, conquer academia, defy the odds, do some ill-advised things, do some brilliant things, and learn about love. Not necessarily in that order.

In the Midst of the Blackest Storm, by TrufflesTheMushroom

Tomorrow. Tomorrow, at the precipice of our hope, at the new beginning of our time, we can choose not only to believe in ourselves, but in each other. Tomorrow, there will not be a single person on our shores who shall stand alone. Not tomorrow. Tomorrow we will face the monsters that are at our door and take the fight to them. Tomorrow, we are facing the apocalypse. As one.

Or: Tendo Choi used to coerce every Jaeger Strike Team in the Hong Kong Shatterdome into boosting its dwindling funds with shady black market deals, and this is how he gets everyone to slowly become a family once more as the world faces the re-opening of the Breach and humanity’s darkest hour.

Or: How To Trust When All Seems Hopeless

i forget the difference between seduction and arson, by gyzym

Ignition and cognition.

animals trapped (the cage is full), by liginamite

Because that’s the problem, isn’t it? The world doesn’t have time for affection, for intimacy, for anything more than quickly coming and cleaning off and heading back to work like nothing ever happened.

The Mathematician’s Answer, by ConstanceComment

“Prosper our handiwork; O prosper the work of our hands.” — Psalm 90

People Might Laugh at Your Tattoos, by callmejude

It’s armor.

Conversations You Don’t Know We’re Having, by adventuring

The spleen was doing something very uncooperative now, turning colors no alien spleen was meant to turn, and oh god, was something bubbling? That could not be good. “No, baby, no, I can fix this, I can do better, just give me one more chance,” he begged it, ignoring Hermann’s baffled, “Pardon?” in his ear. He grabbed frantically at the tongs, fumbling them, realized he probably couldn’t fix this situation one-handed, and said to Hermann, “Gotta go, important work to be done.”

“Newton, I swear to you, do not hang up this phone, follow my instructions—”

“No time, man, science is happening,” he said, and then without thought tacked on, “Bye, love you,” and threw the phone in what was likely the direction of his desk, not bothering to end the call. Hermann probably kept talking, but hello, science.

California King, by notastranger

Hermann is not a sleep cuddler. Bummer.

that every man might have need of other, by lymricks

In the few hours it took to reconcile Newton’s gone with Newton left, Hermann had created an elaborate fantasy: Newton kidnapped, Newton taken, Newton needing to be saved. He had not considered that leaving had been Newton’s idea. He had not thought it would be voluntary.

You Lost, Doctor?, by hailtherandom

“The next morning, Hermine goes to work with a clear head. It sticks for all of about thirteen minutes, until Newt walks into the offices in a pair of jeans and an old, threadbare undershirt instead of her usual button-down, and numbers flicker out of Hermine’s mind like lights in a Jaeger. Newt glances up and shoots her a filthy grin, then drops her coat on her desk and pulls out a pair of gloves. Hermine loses whole equations to the kaiju rippling over the muscles in Newt’s forearms.”

Private in Public, by spirogyra

Dr. Newton Geiszler and Dr. Hermann Gottlieb get introduced to life in a shatterdome, and somehow survive showering together for ten years even when they’re on separate continents.

Nightmares, by beckettemory

“Hermann frowned, remembering the bags under Newton’s eyes and the constant bubbling of the coffee maker in the corner brewing pot after pot of strong coffee all day.” ——————- Hermann, sore after a long day, passes the laboratory and realises that, though well into the night, Newton is still working, and has been acting strangely for a few days.

Lights On, by berlynn_wohl

Hermann’s solitude and shame was an immovable object inside him. He had yet to find out that it would soon encounter an unstoppable force.

Not While I’m Around, by callmejude

written for the kinkmeme prompt: In all the years they’ve worked with each other, Hermann can’t remember ever seeing Newt angry - upset and frustrated, maybe, but never angry. Sure, they argue and raise their voices at each other all the time, but that’s just lively intellectual discourse - they’re never really mad at each other. Hermann has always just kind of assumed that Newton is so easy going that nothing can set him off.

And then someone messes with Hermann, and Newton absolutely explodes with rage.

Come Away To The Water, by funnylookingfella

The Kaiju War is over, there are no Jaegers left, the mourning period has passed… but the hive mind lingers.

A Little Friendly Challenge, by moonblossom

Newt knows how to get Hermann to cooperate.

I wear your granddad’s clothes, I look incredible., by notastranger

Newton comes up with what he thinks is a hilarious Halloween costume. Things do not go as planned.

venus in fleurs, by indications

6.7k of boring-ass white boys touchin dicks

so it goes, by liginamite

The world needs Newton Geiszler, and with that thought in mind, it’s Hermann that drifts with the Kaiju instead.

sugar, spice, and graduate programs, by classyfanperson

Newt works at a coffee shop. Hermann is studying abroad at MIT. Pumpkin lattes are good for the soul.

Good Day for Ghosts, by cryogenia

Hermann wakes into the new world, and carries the remains of the old with him.

Equality, by pickleplum

“‘Immediate family only’ is our policy and no amount of yelling at me will change it, Doctor Geiszler. Unless you are Doctor Gottlieb are long-lost brothers, you need to calm down and wait in the reception area or we’ll have to ask you to leave.”

Newt makes a very loud exasperated noise and throws his hands in the air, but turns and marches into the waiting room. He drops himself onto a couch and pulls at his hair in frustration. I’m going to behave, he tells himself firmly. I’m not going to freak out over this total bullshit and get myself tossed out of here. No way. I can do this.

no man is an island, by narcomanic

Running away from the hive mind is easier said than done, especially when you’ve been so clever all your life that you never had to learn how to ask for help.

Time Will Crawl and Our Mouths Run Dry, by hailtherandom

It was Hermann’s idea, oddly enough. Sometimes Newt never quite believes that, thinks he made it up in a dream or a drunken haze, because Hermann, Dr. Hermann Gottlieb, does not suggest things like that. But he did, and Newt laughed in his face, and then blinked a few times and said, “what, really?” “Yes, really,” Hermann said. “It’s logical, Newton, if you take a moment to think about it.” — Hermann and Newt. Mutual handjobs at twenty-one hundred hours every Wednesday and Friday. Slight complications develop.

After Zero, by what_alchemy

The war is over. Hermann and Newt get on with their [sex] lives.

More Than I Can Return, by callmejude

written for the kinkmeme prompt: “Newt likes to flirt with Hermann, the fact that he never flirts back does not discourage him at all. An outsider might think that Newt is foolishly in love with someone who doesn’t care about him back at all. But one day in the lab out of nowhere, Hermann says, "Alright, what if I just bring you off with my hand? Will that make you more bearable?”

Newt’s thrilled and doesn’t miss a beat. “God, Hermann, a handy would be awesome right now! Thanks, man!”, all while he’s unzipping his fly and grabbing the surgical lube for improper use.

From then on they start hooking up whenever it pleases both of them. Sometimes handjobs, sometimes frottage, occasionally one will penetrate the other. But most importantly, Newt never stops calling Hermann “man” or “dude” during the act, and keeps talking as if Hermann was just doing him a mundane favour, or he was doing a favour for Hermann.

It isn’t until they sit on the sofa in Hermann’s room one night, cuddling up and making out after a taxing workday, with no signs of anyone unclothing or unzipping, that Newt thinks maybe affection has something to do with it.“

Jackpot, by notastranger

People say some strange things when coming out of anesthesia.

Cleaning Days, by jotc

All Hermann Gottlieb wanted was a clean lab space of his own.

Feels Like Reckless Driving, by lakehymn

“Did you just say I’m right about something?” Newton asks, feigning shock. Then he lightheartedly elbows Hermann in the ribs and adds, “I always knew you loved me.”

everyone needs a place (it shouldn’t be inside someone else), by orphan_account

His brain goes a gazillion miles an hour in loopy misdirectional circles, and when he dreams he dreams of kaiju biology, of being back in their lab, of sharp elbows in a small bed.

Chatter, by berlynn_wohl

“What do you think? Is today going to be a good day?”

Unhappy Campers (or Why You Can’t Perform CPR on Someone Who’s Still Breathing), by Jenni_Snake

A summer science camp field trip to the mountains. What could be more fun? Probably anything, especially for a group of nerdy science kids.

Hermann Gottlieb’s Stacker Pentecost Obsession Trapper Keeper, by what_alchemy

Hermann has a giant man crush on Stacker.

Newt finds it delightful. Herc, not so much.

what’s your rush, by Byacolate

Summary by me: An elaboration of Hermann and Newt’s relationship before and after the closing of the Breach.

Baby, You’re Hotter than my Bunsen Burner, by SkysongMA

They argue like they breathe—but that’s not all there is to it. Newt flirts, and it’s disgusting.

It’s not that Hermann minds flirting. The Kaidonovskies have propositioned everyone in the PPDC, or so it seems, and Tendo has intimated more than once that he wouldn’t mind spending some time in the lab, “talking numbers.” The Shatterdome is a small place. One has to practice somewhere.

It’s just that Newt is so bad at it.

Becoming History, by Scientia_Fantasia

Sure, the phrase “crotchety old man who obviously pays no attention to the current scientific community” may have snuck its way into one of the letters, but hey, that’s what you get for calling Up-And-Coming Scientific Rockstar Newton Geiszler “some kid.” Like, the guy had it coming. Really.

It Is not Heaven, It Is Home, by bravinto

Finding the love of your life is awfully anticlimactic.

Fleece, by berlynn_wohl

Newt and Hermann enjoy a day of terminally fluffy domesticity, with maybe a few minutes set aside for shenanigans on the sofa. Also, monsters (duh).

For What It’s Worth, I’d Do It Again, by callmejude

Between finding Newton seizing on the floor and running to get Pentecost, Hermann needs to make sure Newton is okay.

The Stretch and Pull of Disused Hearts, by billiethepoet

Newt notices that the move to the Anchorage Shatterdome is affecting Hermann’s leg. So Newt builds him a hot yoga studio out of spare parts and an abandoned storage closet. Obviously.

Best Cock On The Block, by hobbitdragon

They’ve been so close and yet so far for fourteen years now, but the drift is the pebble that starts the avalanche of change. (By which we mean sex)

This started out as a short ficlet and quickly grew beyond ficlet status into a full-blown fic. I guess I really wanted to write more trans smut.

The Seconds In Between, by orphan_account

Sort of a day in the life of Hermann (and Newt, always with Newt). Mostly, I had a lot of tiny little headcanons and then tried to spin them all together in a fic.

hallo mutti, hallo vati, by classyfanperson

Newt and Hermann visit the Gottlieb family after the Breach is closed. Some are happier to see them than others.

The Cost of Craving Dark Instead of Light, by sonnie

Summary by me: Monica Schwartz and her son, Newton.

The Two Weirdos Who Work In The Lab, by berlynn_wohl

Two vignettes about the worst kept secret in the Shatterdome.

he’s thunderstorms, by mundaneanarchy

Wherein Newt maybe possibly has a teeny tiny itsy bitsy almost microscopic crush on a certain grumpy old mathematician and Hermann falls and can’t get up. Angsty pining ensues. (explicit for chapter 2)

Never Done with Killing Time, by orphan_account

In between one day and the next, there’s always some time for some loving.

Quantum Degeneracy, by trell

Newt makes a sound from where he’s hidden behind his kaiju, behind his arms, and then he croaks, "I can’t play anymore.”

Hermann’s eyes flick to the electric keyboard sitting near Newt’s desk—a paper-covered, disorganized disaster of a thing—and he says, quietly, “Ah.”

the best laid plans, by liginamite

The plan, you see, was to totally sex Hermann up immediately after the world was saved. But you know that old saying about well-laid plans.

Generated Affects, by trell

Twelve is you washing your hands ten times up to the elbow in the space of the half an hour you spend prepping kaiju entrails for long-term cryo. It’s him that stops you, him that struggles over to the sink on his cane and grabs you by the wrists, hands fitting perfectly over the open maws of Hundun and Yamarashi, and he says “Stop,” and “Newton, think, this isn’t like you, it is like—” and the me hangs unspoken but you get it, let him guide you over to a bench in the lab and force you to sit still long enough to tone down the compulsion.

five times newt proposed to hermann and the one time he said yes, by mundaneanarchy

title is self explanatory.

alternate title: the fear of falling apart

warning: cheesy and kinda dumb

macho dudes in lace undies, by mundaneanarchy

Summary by me: Newt, Hermann and a lingerie kink.

one last kiss while we’re far too young to die, by mundaneanarchy

Newt and Hermann meet, fall in love, hate each other, lose each other, find each other, kiss drunkenly, save/destroy the world, and get married. All in that order.

it is one way to live, by fuckener

Newt would stay stuck in the wartime if nobody tried pulling him out of it.

Black Velvet Rabbits rockstar AU, by spirogyra

Summary by me: In which Hermann is the number one fan of Newt’s rock band, The Black Velvet Rabbits.

Sea Swept, by cypress_tree

A high seas fantasy AU in which Hermann is a ship’s navigator and Newton is found washed up among flotsam.

there are no atheists in foxholes, by liginamite

Newt and Hermann have been feeling off since they helped to cancel the apocalypse. They’re losing time, long black-outs, periods of aggression. The feeling that there’s something else, something they can’t pin down.

The thing is, the Kaiju drift left something behind in the both of them, and it’s determined to get out.

Can’t Wait for You to Shut Me Up, by callmejude

written for the kink meme prompt: “Hermann tells Newt to shut up, Newt tells Hermann to make him. They make out. That’s the prompt.”

(That may have been the prompt but I admit to it going much further than that.)

Dead Letter Chorus, by QuokkaFoxtrot

It’s if you’ve never heard anything true. But we will try 'til the next time or the last time. Dead Letter Chorus - You Am I

Newt owns a coffee shop. Hermann is a tenured professor at the local university. Their relationship has its ups and downs.

Also: Chuck is a champion barista, Mako is a world travelling Direct Trade negotiator, Stacker and Herc play a lot of chess, and Tendo owns Shatterdome Records.

Much coffee is consumed. (Except by Hermann who is a priss about how his tea should be prepared.)

bones, sinking like stones, by mundaneanarchy

You don’t love him. You don’t love him even though you do, you know you do, you know you do so much it hurts, but you don’t.

have yourself a merry little christmas, by classyfanperson

Hermann isn’t going home for Hanukkah, so Newt insists they both visit his family back home. They continue to not talk about their feelings.

Or: A Very Geiszler Christmas.

Newton Geiszler’s 11 Ways to Save the World, by kaijukonjou

Keep to yourself, keep your chin up, and maybe you’ll make it out in one piece.

Five Times Newt And Hermann Kiss While They Are Drunk, by luceluceluceluce

A brief timeline of the apocalypse from the perspective of a pair of nerds: a story of science, alcohol, and love.

Become What We’ve Always Been, by irisbleufic

Hermann doesn’t have enough time to experience a crisis over Newton’s response to his unvoiced request; he’s drifting into that self-same lethargy, eyelids heavy, his arm across the cane gone slack.

it wouldn’t be make believe, by infinituity

“By the way, dude,” he says, and he reaches down both to grab his notepad as well as to avoid looking at Hermann, “my parents think we’re dating.”

Instead of the expected angry yelling, he gets only silence in response, so he looks up to see Hermann opening his mouth to speak, reconsidering, closing it, and repeating. After several more repeats than strictly necessary, he sighs and slumps down in his seat.

“Of course they do,” he says.

sweet as anything, by classyfanperson

Newt is embarrassed about certain aspects of her body. Hermine is considerably more enthusiastic.

The Statistics of Touch, by WheresPeebs

Alternate Title: If You Would Just Stop Interrupting Each Other, Everything Would Be Worked Out in the First Friggin’ Paragraph.

Hermann is uncomfortable with public displays of… well, anything. It causes problems.

First, by cypress_tree

Newt and Hermann’s first time is Newt’s first first time.

Roses are red, and if that’s kaiju blue so help me Newton, by unnecessary

Summary by me: Newton and Hermann have some communication problems.

point me in the direction of the last setting sun, by orphan_account

They were two women standing against the end of the world.

Urine Trouble, by kinkitsecretkinkitsafe

Hermann has a thing for watersports. Newt finds out.

breathing free and even, by classyfanperson

He’s working on it. They’re working on it.

High-Five for Hatesex, by kinkitsecretkinkitsafe

Summary by me: Newton has a thing for Hermann and justifies it as hate!sex. He might be wrong.

Counterpoint, by kinkitsecretkinkitsafe

Summary by me: Sequel to High-Five for Hatesex.

a thousand spiders down the drain, by Byacolate

Children can be so cruel to boys who pick flowers.

Secret Agent Scientist, by Malteaser

Written for the prompt: Hermann, secret badass; He has something cool like a fencing saber installed in his cane and when someone fucks with them he kicks their ass and keeps talking like nothing happened.

A Little Kindness Goes a Long Way, by patster223

Newt liked to purposefully annoy Hermann in order to get rough sex. Which worked out great, until Hermann found out about it and decided to punish Newt by giving him excruciatingly nice sex.

cross my heart and take me with you, by drashian

The first time Hermann meets Newton Geiszler, they are pleasant with each other for about 10 minutes until suddenly they’re duking it out about Hermann’s theories of transdimensional transport.

The second time Hermann meets Newton Geiszler, they just start yelling.

The third time Hermann meets Newton Geiszler, it is in the toxic blue haze of the Drift.

Anthology ‘Verse (& Related Errata), by irisbleufic

Summary by me: a study of the relationship between Hermann and Newt, from the beginning to the future.

Parallax / Perihelion, by irisbleufic

Parallax—the apparent displacement of an observed object due to a change in the position of the observer; from the Greek, παράλλαξις (“alteration”). / Perihelion—the point in the orbit of an asteroid, comet, planet, or other celestial body where it is nearest to the sun (again from the Greek, περιήλιο).

One-Week Rule, by irisbleufic

Somebody’s got a stick up his theoretical vortex. Starting this off with a bang?

We’re Revolutionaries Now, by AxolotlQueen

One really shouldn’t attempt to cut one’s own hair.

(Or, Hermione Gottlieb gives herself a bad haircut and Newton Geiszler helps out.)

Newton Geiszler and His Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Interns, by cambion and casdere

“I know, it’s all a bit silly,” he admits.

“You always get a bit silly about your crushes, yeah?” She teases easily, and Hermann nearly spits out his mouthful of soup. Jasmine gives him another concerned look, but he waves her away.

“Vanessa, can you please not,” he hisses under his breath, and she laughs with the phone pulled away from her face, sounding like distant bells, and he feels taken back to high school, and remembers the fumbling idiocy of his crush on her, and knows immediately she is right, and he ought to give up the fight. He has a crush, an honest to God crush, and at his age! He knows, surely, it started with his fascination of the man’s intellect, but he also knows how quickly and easily he was drawn into his off-kilter charisma, as well.

or: hermann and newt are college professors, newt is working on his sixth doctorate, hermann is nursing a nasty crush, and i fit way too much into one chapter

scene after scene, by drashian

Everything had been banking on the world ending.

It doesn’t end, though, and that leaves everyone with this big hole where the future they didn’t plan for suddenly stretches ahead of them.

Newt struggles and reaches to fill that hole, and comes up with two things: Hermann Gottlieb and a cross-country road trip.

Chalk It Up To Love, by patster223

Newt replaced all of Hermann’s white pieces of chalk with pink ones. Or: the one in which chalk is a form of courtship, Hermann is head-over-heels, and somehow the entire Shatterdome gets involved.

The Apple In Our Hands, by irisbleufic

Summary: 1950!AU in which Newt is a cryptozoologist trying to find the Loch Ness monster, Hermann is more or less the same, and they have to share a cabin in Scotland.

Ice to Meet You, by patster223

Hermann is eating a rather phallic-looking popsicle and Newt is pretty sure he might actually die from sexual frustration.

In Sweden, and Elsewhere, by rillrill

Newt had just thrown down his end of the half-assembled bookshelf and shouted, “Whatever! It still makes no sense that two acclaimed and accomplished scientists with the combined brainpower of four average adults can’t put together a goddamn shelf!” Because, seriously, he can build an improvised neural bridge out of old lab machinery and an ancient Mr. Coffee, but he’s undone by three missing pegs? Fuck this.

Newt and Hermann rebuild, relocate, accept the Nobel Prize for Physics, fight over furniture, and strive to carve out a space for themselves in a world where they’re inextricably linked - in the the press, in their personal lives, and in their own heads.

Magic and Progress, by patster223

The Hogwarts AU in which Newt is a wizard, Hermann is a Muggle, and somehow they manage to save the world and love each other anyway.

Self-Destruct, by pinkmoon

“He learns how to never be wrong. He learns how to be indispensable. He realizes it makes him unstoppable.

Newton Geiszler is one tick away from self-destructing for the rest of his life.”

A character study of Newt’s lifetime of risky behavior and predilection for taking risks of the “rock star” sort. (Spanning many years, continents, arguments, and accidents, but landing, unexpectedly, in a happy ending.)

Today Your Barista Is: Hella Fucking Gay, by unnecessary

Hermann is a professor. The barista at the coffee shop across the street is cute and very, very single.

It is inevitable, really.

Predictable, by cypress_tree

It’s a movie date, but they’re not really watching the movie.

Adventures In Knitting, by decadent_mousse

Newt decides to knit Hermann a sweater, with… mixed results.

You’ve Taken A Pizza My Heart, by decadent_mousse

Hermann and Newt are so busy with work, they don’t get much time to go out to dinner, so Newt decides to improvise.

Fear of a Name, by uhnonniemiss

Newt and Hermann never could decide on how to define what they are to each other. It takes several years, thousands of kisses, a vat of acid, a big fight, and a sunny Boston evening to help them choose.

every day I fight a war against the mirror, by thekaidonovskys

“It came at a price,” he says. “To understand them, I had to learn how to fear them.”

Cut to the Chase, by patster223

Hermann needs a haircut. He does not need the cute hairdresser to flirt with him, he does not need a scalp massage, and he does not need anything trendy or stylish done to his hair.

Thankfully, these are things that happen anyway. Barbershop AU, featuring hairdresser!Newt and smitten!Hermann.

The Sublime, by Lucretius

The waves are coming closer to them now, and yes, the tide is coming to them with crescendo crashes.

The white fringe of sea is mere fathoms away.

“Can we?” Hermann asks.

And it is the question that one asks because, the choice having been made in what feels like another lifetime, now, for the first time, there is someone here, here, right here—who can see a way of being and seeing long dormant under so many layers of performing and seeming.

Recover, by irisbleufic

You’re my new favorite blanket. Come inside?

Untoward, by LemonScience33

Newton licks his bottom lip. “Maybe, um…” he says.

Newton doesn’t continue. Hermann wills his breathing to remain steady. “Yes?”

Newton shrugs casually. “Maybe we could give each other a hand,” he says. “Just two friends… you know, helping each other out.”

Knocking Socks, by decadent_mousse

Hermann and Newt go sock-shopping.

Listening, by cypress_tree

Newt has a dirty talk kink, and Hermann has a really nice voice.

Act Together, by irisbleufic

“You know I’m only a liar when it matters, right?”

You + Me = Happiness ², by steviekat

The thing is, Newt had never really put much thought into the future. The future of K-Science? Sure! Her own? To be fair, this probably better than anything she could have imagined.

Got Your Back, by Doooooooom

The workload is taking its toll on Hermann’s shoulders. Luckily, Newt is a dab hand at shoulder massages.

That’s one way to shut you up, by offensiveagentpie

Based on this fanart by pixiepunch.

Hermann tries a new tactic to get Newt to be quiet for once.

wash us away, by thekaidonovskys

Thank god Hermann undresses after he’s entered the bathroom, or else walking in to find Newt sitting on the bench top would have been much much worse.

visions are seldom what they seem, by mundaneanarchy

Hermann likes Tchaikovsky. Newt likes Hermann.

The Sun On Your Face (I’m Freezing That Frame), by irisbleufic

“Hate to break it to you,” Newton whispers, kissing Hermann’s neck with a happy sigh before letting his head drop to rest against Hermann’s shoulder, “but we’re busted in five, four, three—”

“Your ass is mine, Geiszler!” shouts Officer Hak, barging into the lab. “You too, Doctor Gottlieb. If you think you can get off so easy—”

The Good Old Days, by decadent_mousse

Hermann and Newt go scavenging for supplies during a blackout and get more than they bargained for.

A Proper Family Christmas, by uhnonniemiss

When Hermann ends up in the medical wing, he looks all set to spend Christmas by himself. Not if Newt gets a say in it, though.

Or, in which adopted and blood family save the Holidays

The Friendmas Ficlet Collection, by cypress_tree

A collection of five unrelated ficlets written as Christmas gifts for friends:

geniusbee: Hermann hurt/comfort patster223: Hermann wearing nail polish thehorrorinsymmetry: Hermann in lingerie bravinto: belly rubs decadentmousse: Harvest Moon AU

Aftershocks, by tastewithouttalent

“Hermann has to stumble away because the Drift is still too fresh and he can’t tell the heat of Newton’s body apart from his own anymore.” The impact of the Drift hits Hermann, and he and Newt don’t make it back to the laboratory.

Au Naturel, by decadent_mousse

Newt gives Hermann a wake up call during a very boring meeting.

Fortune’s Favor, by tamerofdarkstars

In which there is kissing, the end of the world, the subsequent salvation of the world, and more kissing.

Fills Trope_Bingo: Round 4 - Celebratory Kiss

Bump in the Night, by unicornsandbutane

Newt’s made a mistake, and it’s really a subjective matter whether it was a poor decision altogether or just a mere miscalculation. Regardless, he is forced to phone Hermann in the middle of the night, to deal with the consequences.

But the Gesture is Ruined, by cypress_tree

Five times Hermann tried to be romantic, one time he succeeded without even meaning to. A K-Sci romcom, basically.

Strange Bedfellows, by decadent_mousse

When Hermann and Newt first arrive at the Hong Kong Shatterdome, a paperwork mix-up forces them to share a room for awhile.

followed your ashes into outer space, by parpar

The numbers of the War Clock ticked down to zero, and the resulting euphoria was thick as smoke in the air. The assortment of PPDC members and civilian contractors were in an uproar, and Hermann and Newton made their way down the LOCCENT steps to stand in the midst of it.

When Tendo had finally managed to get Mako and Raleigh to stop hugging and cooperate with the rescue team, Newton had leaned his forehead into the curve of Hermann’s shoulder.

“We actually pulled it off,” he had whispered. “We did it, holy shit, it’s over.” Hermann had gracefully ignored the tears soaking into his collar and patted his colleague on the back while he pulled himself together.

Occupational Hazard, by decadent_mousse

Hermann overworks himself and gets a migraine.

In Space No One Can Hear You Mop, by decadent_mousse

Hermann and Newt are janitors sent to a derelict ship to clean things up after a group of aliens massacred the entire crew… but are they the only ones on board?

Liminality, by what_alchemy

What we know, after.

Fortuna Favet, by Mipeltaja

Newton seemed to think one could invoke good fortune simply by being bold enough or loud enough, a notion Hermann found utterly ridiculous.

It wasn’t that Hermann didn’t believe chance could on occasion work in his favour, it was just that life had taught him not to rely on it.

Brainspace and Kinkspace, by Emmalyn

Summary by me: Newt and Hermann exploring some of the delights of kinky sex.

Desperate Times, by decadent_mousse

Newt finds Hermann in a terrible state.

Matchsnaking, by patster223

There is a snake in Hermann’s apartment. This is not how he wanted to start his day.

Apartment neighbors AU where Newt’s snake keeps sneaking into Hermann’s apartment.

Put a Pin in That, by unicornsandbutane

Newt tries to convince Hermann to participate in a charity event. What ensues might be classed as ‘hijinks’, ‘shenanigans’, or ‘hilarity’, depending upon your perspective.

Remains, by berlynn_wohl

Newt and Hermann wrap Christmas presents and talk about death.

You Love Me Not, by mundaneanarchy

A story of love and coping with love told from the second-person perspective of Newt.

Newt loves Hermann and Hermann loves Newt but sometimes it’s not that easy.

Statiscally Significant Other, by unicornsandbutane

Flattery will get you everywhere.

Or, the fic computerbaby on tumblr requested, in which Newt compliments Hermann and Hermann is really really into it.

Pasta Aisle, by cypress_tree

Hermann and Newt meet for the first time in a grocery store. Hermann helps Newt grab something off a high shelf. Newt takes offense.

Disconnect, Connect Again, by cypress_tree

Raising Newt Geiszler has never been easy. Seeing him fall in love can be harder.

The development of Newt and Hermann’s relationship, from Jacob Geiszler’s point-of-view.

Spaces Between, by adropofred

Newt had not realised, somehow, that the world not ending would mean it would stubbornly keep on turning without waiting for him to catch up.

So what? He’s a scientist. He’ll do some catching up of his own and lose himself in the labyrinth of his and Hermann’s brains and their bodies.

This is absolutely not to be considered hiding, not that they can hide much anymore.

The Six Million Pillows Man, by adropofred

As it turns out, Hermann’s room is nothing special. His bed, on the other end, is very, very special.

Of course, Newt wouldn’t be himself if he didn’t find a way to turn this revelation into a situation where he could put his foot in his mouth.

Time For You and Time For Me, by patster223

A collection of Newmann prompts that I’ve filled on my tumblr. Contains: AUs, pining, flirting, bickering, several chapters of Hermann’s filthy exhibitionist kink, and two nerds learning to love each other in as many ways as possible.

The Beholder, by ItsClydeBitches

Written for the Newmann-uendo Hurt/Comfort challenge.

Hermann is feeling pretty insecure about his body. He’s unattractive. That’s a fact. Luckily Newton Geiszler’s number one law is still in place:

Hermann Gottlieb is ALWAYS wrong.

we’ll leave our tracks untraceable, by confused_android

When she steps off the plane in Logan International, something tight in her shoulders cracks, loosens, and she shakes free the last barb the PPDC had through her spine, through her brain, keeping her tense and wary for most of a decade. She yanks her heavy suitcase off of the carousel, identifiable by the years of layered duct tape repairing a seam that could once have been stitched, and flags the first taxi that will stop for her.

Permanent Ink, by mundaneanarchy

Inspired by this piece of fanart (http://rockstar-ologist.tumblr.com/post/126950663313) by rockstar-ologist

Newt gets Hermann’s initials tattooed on his hand. A month into their relationship. Hermann isn’t too happy about it.

Castaways’ Window, by Chancy_Lurking

“There are no words for the thoughts he has in that moment, because they are not his thoughts.”

Rings, by perniciousLizard

Three scenes, post movie. They’re happy.

Right Hand: Heart, by QuokkaFoxtrot

Two beers. That was all it took these days.

Dance In The Graveyards, by LemonScience33

As they round the next corner and lights come on, Newt’s first thought is, This had better be worth it, because we’re definitely gonna get caught.

His second thought is, That is the skull of Otachi’s baby, with lights strung over it.

His third thought is, This is definitely worth it.

Sweater Wars, by paenteom

Hermann takes his fashion illiteracy to new, festive levels. Newt is forced to retaliate.

Die Musik Kommt, by romangold

Maybe everyone’s drowning in the day, the night, memories and regrets and guilts, in relief, in pure, unadulterated happiness. Maybe they’re all dying.

Hermann finds Newt after the apocalypse is cancelled, and the two realize that perhaps they aren’t so toxic together after all.

Nigel, by uhnonniemiss

A particularly harsh snowstorm has brought the boiler- and Hermann- to a standstill.

(My piece for the 2015 Pacrim Holiday Swap!)

Etude, Op. 25 No. 12, by romangold

The climax always resolves to major, no matter how many times you play the piece. And the heroes always win, despite the amount of times you rewind to the beginning or fast-forward to the end.

sharing half our genes, and nothing in between, by getmean

“Christ, Hermann, is this a letterman jacket?” Newt cried, spinning and holding it up with a level of glee he hadn’t reached since he got that salivary gland from Mutavore. “How cliché can you get?”

Plausible Possibility, by cissues

Newt and Hermann experience some odd post-drift effects.

mountains sunk below the sea, by getmean

Newton has been, and always will be, what his father calls a ‘tough nut to crack’, but has an element of horrifying vulnerability that makes Hermann’s skin crawl. He selfishly likes Newton best when all his walls are intact.

netflix and chill, by w0rm

Hermann does the Netflix, Newt does the chill.

How to Deal with Accidental Neural Oversharing and Other Scientific Conundrums, by yourguardianangel

The world has not ended. Operation Pitfall is successful. Celebrations are had. But how are two snarky scientists meant to cope with having way too much of each others internal monologues retroactively overlaid with their own memories?

(with smut, that’s how.)

It’s All Good, by spirogyra

Thoughtless words, hurt feelings, cryptic statements, the drift makes things easier and more difficult, but in the end… it’s all good.

追伸, by lamphouse

“If I recall correctly, this is the man who confessed to wanting a pet Godzilla for his twentieth birthday, is it not? Glass houses, Dr. Geiszler.”

It takes two months for Newton Geiszler to fall in love. It takes thirty months, around two hundred letters, several time zones, and two missed-ish connections for him to actually admit it.

it’s alright, don’t you let it inside, by areunasty

They’re taking Gipsy Danger out for a trial run, and Newt watches with mild interest as the mech slices cleanly through the ocean. He thinks that if he was that big anything would be easy. Loving someone difficult, being loved, the quiet and painful twist of Hermann’s mouth whenever he looks at Newt recently.

The Price of Ghost Drifting, by confettiinmyhair

Newt is home early. Hermann has a surprise.

concentric circles, by lamphouse

It’s times like these that Hermann finds himself checking and double-checking his list of reasons why he works at the library. It’s also times like these that prove why nowhere on said list does it mention the people he works with.

The Boyfriend Experience, by berylnn_wohl

In the Shatterdome, Hermann confesses his disappointment that his and Newt’s relationship lacks romance. After the war is over, Newt vows to spend one year righting this wrong as they travel the world together on a lecture tour.

Everything We Never Said, by JennaCupcakes

Newt has a few regrets about his drift with Hermann. Namely, that he’s had a crush on the guy for a while and really doesn’t want him to find out.

Echoes in the Well of Silence, by unicornsandbutane

Hermann can hear Newton through the ducts.

Wishbone, by cypress_tree

Hermann doesn’t have anywhere to go for Thanksgiving, so Newt invites him over for food, family, and a little bit of flirting. Just a warm, fuzzy college AU to get you through the holidays.

Do Scientists Dream of Cloned Sheep?, by paenteom

Newt fumbles with the key card before he finally manages to swipe it, throws the door open and freezes.

There’s only one bed.

It’s massive, and covered in the fluffiest blanket he has ever seen, but it’s undeniably singular.

“Uh,” he says. “Awkward.”

Laughter, Confession, by cypress_tree

He’s nervous and awkward and he’s afraid he’ll mess up, but god, he wants this so bad.

Proving a Point, by steampunkepsilon

Newt thinks Hermann is a shy, reserved, vanilla kind of guy. Newt is wrong, and Hermann has sources.

Slumber Sequence, by strigine

Summary by me: Newton and Hermann’s sleeping habits.

Clean Clock, by cissues

'“So, you’re that guy, huh?” The man says, finally. He has his back to the newly emptied and even more newly dirtied sink and Hermann’s gaze is fixated on the encrusted plates and wine-stained glassware.’

Or, where Hermann is a hermit and also a clean freak with messy roommates.

Linguistics, by cypress_tree

Literally just a thousand words of Newt masturbating while listening to Hermann give an interview on a podcast.

i ain’t holy, i ain’t close, by queenofthestarrrs

The end of the world feels like home.

tell me you’ll love me for a million years, by buckgaybarnes

Hermann is working late, so Newt decides to be a great husband and tackle their chores. He mostly succeeds.

lost connection, by orphan_account

When the Shatterdome stays open for continuing research, the K-Science team realizes they’ll actually have to deal with the after-effects of their Drift.

Trial and Error, by cypress_tree

A romantic comedy of errors in which Newt and Hermann try to spice things up….and fail spectacularly.

Mixed Signals, by SkysongMA

After the Drift, Hermann starts having sex dreams.

Newt’s sex dreams.

That are all about Hermann.

Oh Mein Me, by junkiechurch

You wonder how a heart like his could ever love a man like you.

clothes (or a lack thereof), by orphan_account

Once the war is over, Hermann and Newt move in together. Newt realizes how little clothing they actually own.

#pacific rim #newmann #newton geiszler #hermann gottlieb #fic recs #please warn me if any links are broken #and reblog it if you can so more people will see it #otp: the favors of fortune

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tezsaltblogsrhpc · 6 years

Text

No drink would be enough for this: First Circle of Retcon Hell

It belatedly occurs to me, and I can't believe it didn't sooner, that Stocke stealing the picture out of Heiss's desk drawer is a terrible idea. Now, obviously PC didn't think about it much and just put the thing in his desk because the office is the only space associated with Heiss, but the fact that he did keep it immediately to hand and not, say, locked up in his house implies he probably wants it easily accessible. Which means he probably looks at it a lot.

Which means he would notice that it's gone.

And it's not just a ~nostalgic memento~. It has a label on it explaining who it's a picture of, and Stocke was able to recognize Heiss in it. If somebody found that picture, they now have Heiss's real identity, and an excellent chance of figuring out Stocke's as well. That thing disappearing is an honest-to-god emergency that puts both of them in danger, and Heiss has no way of knowing that it was Stocke who took it. Sure, "Stocke awakened the White Chronicle, got the key from me in the future/another timeline, and took it" is one possibility, but it's far from the only one.

Where's my sidequest to prevent the eight wrongful arrests and three deaths after Heiss panicked and started trying to figure out which of the potential likely parties now had life-destroying blackmail material on him?

"Ending Chapter: Historia"

I hope you jerks appreciate the sheer amount of mental fortitude it took to stop playing Valkyrie Profile and pick this back up again. (And, for that matter, to resist the urge to put a filler post in the queue where I list VP Einherjar traits for the RH cast.) More or less unavoidably, they've lost the book-end effect of the game starting with "Prologue: Stocke" and ending with "Final Chapter: Ernst." But seriously, guys, going from “Final Chapter” into "Ending Chapter"? At least say "Epilogue."

Sips++

...aaand right out of the gate we see Heiss standing in Historia.

Historia is outside time. The whole way the Chronicle works is that Stocke's subjective timeline passes through Historia, and from there he can access points anywhere in the timeline outside it. It’s kind of like time is a conveyor belt, but he can get off it and walk around on the floor outside and get back on wherever he wants. There's no mechanism for him to go back along his personal timeline within Historia.

This is, in fairness, something the original has some problems with, but never on this scale (and with, say, Lippti and Teo's dialogue at chapter splits and bad ends repeating, the events that they're commenting on did still just re-happen). And thinking about this too much does tend to put you in headache-inducing territory about why Stocke experiences linear time within Historia and the nature of Lippti and Teo's existence and perception. But the short form remains: Stocke time-travels by going outside the normal flow of time and reentering. Whereas what this is showing is, to use the earlier metaphor, Stocke getting off the conveyor belt to get onto another, bigger conveyor belt, and then somehow being able to appear upstream on the bigger one without leaving it.

Sips++++++

...God, I've had the game open for five seconds and seen three words and I already ranted for 300 words.

"(I've returned to this pivotal moment. Now to persuade Heiss to join our cause!)" This is going to hurt so much.

"What, pray tell, would you ask of me after all that's happened?" "Pray tell"? Seriously, somebody take the PC English translator's formal language privileges away, because they clearly can't be trusted to use them effectively and appropriately.

Sips++

"Please, listen to me. I need your aid in eliminating the cause of Vainqueur's troubles." I know I'm a huge broken record by this point, but I hate the way PC writes Stocke. The shallow, emotionless, unempathetic way PC writes everyone, where nobody engages with the fact that the person in front of them has feelings and they talk entirely about their own personal goals instead, is bad enough on Nemesia and worse when applied to a preexisting character who was notable for actually being really kind and understanding.

Sips++++

Also, PC? There's more than one cause.

But oh, right, silly me, the only thing Hugo did wrong was concealing Noah's death, how could I forget.

And Protea meant well and Dias and Selvan believed in their sworn duty to the royal family.

Naturally, every single one of Vainqueur's problems would go away instantly if the mana drain stopped. Nobody has any actual responsibility for anything being bad, no one is actually at fault who hasn't been dead for 150 years, I hate PC.

Sips++++++

"Well, my plan will end any need for us to perform that ritual." It's not his plan. He doesn't even know the plan beyond "make things better somehow with plot coupons."

Sips++++

"...So you hope to root out the problem from its source." Sometimes I wonder if PC even had an English-language editor. Also, yes, he said that from the start, why did this require a black screen, also how was there time for a black screen when the first time Stocke talked to Heiss in Historia, the ritual activated after only a couple of minutes?

Sips++

"Yes, but I need your cooperation. Lend me your aid, Heiss." This is still, as explained last time, completely goddamn unnecessary.

Sips++

"We were enemies but moments ago, yet now you ask for my help... You truly are a precocious boy." 1) ...That's not what "precocious" means. At all. In any way. 2) HE IS A GROWN-ASS ADULT. Heiss infantilizes him, but not that much.

Sips++++++

"Thanks to you, Heiss. You gave me the White Chronicle... and the power to overcome fate." oh good frigging god.

This would have just gotten a

and be done with it (most of what Stocke is "overcoming" had nothing to do with "fate" and everything to do with Heiss being a dick)... except for that inconvenient little detail that got me my last Nyarlamesia count. The entire reason Stocke is in this situation at all is framed as him being pushed into it by something that added this chapter- which outright forcibly overwrites his past, which the White Chronicle has never previously done (anytime Stocke went back and changed things, he made the decision where and when to go back to; he didn't just start a new chapter and get dropped in an event he'd already experienced)- to fulfill a specific goal.

"The power to overcome fate," by which he means the power to have his past and future controlled by an outside force with an agenda. This is verging on Suikoden Tierkreis levels of darkly hilarious hypocritical irony.

Sips++++

soooooo yeah everything that happened in all of the ending scenes just no longer happened now, huh.

Stocke just shows right back up when he left, along with Heiss.

They're not just unhappening Heiss's death, they're unhappening every single one of the true ending scenes leading up to it.

*clears throat*

F̸̛̬͖͚̝͍͒̔ͩ͐ͤ̌̇̉ͩ̀̓ͣ̈̾͗̀̚͘U̧͍̟̝̞͓͇̝̲ͮ̽̓̎͋̋͌̓ͥ̇̍̂͗ͯ̚̚ͅC̢̢̰̪̬̞̙̪̫̺̫͇̥̥̞̜̹͑͋̌̅̎̅̂ͅK̶̸͇͖̤̼̓ͯ̈́ͪͨ͑͊̋̔͋ͦͪ̒͘͢͞ ̙̻͇̹̻̲̙͍͉̒̊͐͂ͯͫ̀ͣͨ͢Y̵̧͉̹̳̘̺̬͗͛͐̐̏ͥͪ̔̒̉ͦ̐ͫ̾̏̒̾̉̒O̢̗̤̮̺̗̺̥̺̤̪͚̽̊͐̂̉ͦ̆͢ͅŲ̨̖͙̩̩̳̲̠̙̹̞͇̉ͭͯ̓͗͊̅ͣ̏́̔͋ͬͫͬ́ ̸̴̢̲̹͉̭͈̠̳ͮͦ͌ͥͫ͜A̢͍̜̳̭̬͙̙̮͖͇͉ͭͧ̌̓͘Ṅ̴͔̞͚͚͍̫͚͉̖̱̮̮̻͕͔̓͌́ͣ͗̇̋ͪ̃͑̌̊̅́̚͠͝Ḑ̗͎͙̒̿͗̈̈̽ͨ̍ͩͨ͞ ̧̰̤̹̖̫̗͚ͧ̐ͯ̾̋̑͌ͮ͛̕Ţ̘̥̺̦͖̤͚̳̩͆̆ͭͥ̀ͅH̴̴̬̼̠̼̬̗̍͑̽̈̓̎͋ͭ̆̉̓͗͊̽ͮ͊ͬ̆̊E̵̶̡͕̼̣̭͖̭̬̜͙̳̲͙̖͚͗̈́ͮ̐̿̒̅ͬ͡͠ ̡͇̗̟̜̠ͤͫ͑̒̄̊̐̇̽̑̍̈́̉̀͜͢͞Ḩ̴͖̳̺̱͉͉̮̳̤͉̬̺̉ͬ͆̋̈́͐ͦ͌ͣ͒ͩͯ͞Ĕ̶͈̘̹̲͖̫̤͚͉͎ͯ̓̿͗ͯ̑̄̉ͤͮ̚̕͞L̝͚̺̞͚̪̠͉̳͎̣̻̞͍̩͔͕͉ͪ̋̌ͯ̅̃̑͢͝Ľ̶̸̡͕̲̘̯̭͓̟̿̄͗ͪ̐͋ͭ̈́̍̍̌ͬ̿͟ ̼̱̰̊ͤ́ͮ̑̏͌ͭ̉̅̏͜Ş̸̶̪͕̻̼̩̠͙̱̘̓̀̅̒ͥP̛͉͈̬̎̓̍̋́́Ǐ̋̋̋̎̑͒̓͐ͬ̋ͤ̚҉̢̘͚̖̗͙͙̟̱̘̬͉͔̬̫͕̪̕͟ͅͅͅD̸̮̹̲̣͚̘̤̼̹̲̘̓̃̽͋͆̋̋̿̽͟͡E̛̱̜̫̯͂́̍ͬ͆́̿͒̋͢͡ͅR̮͇̥̭͋̔ͤͫͨ̎̍̽̆̀́͟ ̄ͮ̆̂̌́͊ͣͣ̋̒̊͆̎̚̚҉̰͈̻̘̝̯̳̲̠̞̖͇͍̦͉̥̼͕͉̀Y̴ͨͯ̉̓ͥͧ͗̊̀ͪ͡҉̡̬͍̲̤̯̭͇̰̣͚̘̗͖̠ͅO̦̳͎̻̺̩̪͙̬̖̙̔͋͗̎̄̔́͟ͅU̸̶̼̯͍̻̙̝̻̬̪̗̓̾ͥ̀͠ ̸̨̯͍͕̭̰̗̠͍̟͔̣̯̞͔̈́̀̆̏́̚ͅͅRͮ̀͊ͦͭ̇͐̑ͩ̕͏̭̰̤̹̦̜͝O̡̘̙͈͚̞͕̪̪͖̮͇̝͎̬̳͊̾͑̈ͫ͋ͣ̚͝D̢̥̠̲͚̓ͯ͆̈́̏̈̑ͬ̂ͣ̉̑͛͂͢͠͡͞Ȩ̴̢͖͔͉̣̪̫̙̲̥̟̂̔ͨͬ̄̇͗̎̅ ̨̮͈̜̱̤̬̙̦̜̗̮̗͖̬̹̮̟̮̜ͨ̂ͯͧ̾̾̆͛͊͞I̵̶̘͎̝̝̱͙͇̗̟͓̰ͮ͗͐͌ͥ̎̌͑̆͊͗N̷͕̭̣̤̜̮̥͓̥̯̹͕̯̮̩̬̠̊̔̈͊͑͑͊ͣͫ͗͟ͅ ̴̵̡̲̻̦̩̦͉̞̘̯̤͙͓̭̾́̾ͨ̃ͥ̊͂ͧ̐͜͠Ǫ̜͎̥̪̻̞̻̼̜̜̰̣͕̘̩̃͛̚̚͡Ǹ̂ͫͨ̀̑͆̿ͥ͌ͪ͒̕҉͔͖͕͕͜͝:̩̗̺̳̝̩̥̰͖ͣ̆̽͂ͩ̋̕͞ ̨̢̡̦̱̲͖̬͕̜̗̜͙̠͉̺̺̺̩̈̈̉ͯ̄̊̋̄ͥ̌̅͋͌͑͊ͫ̈̕͢ͅ5̶̷̢̲̲̺̬͔̪̜̖̭͎̮̮̞̟̪̈́̎̀̎ͯ̏̃͂̋͌́̐́̏̿ͮͯͬ4̅ͧͨ͌ͭ̓ͤ͜͏͇̝̝̰̰̹͖̻͎͎̯̤͈͡

Ahem.

drain remainder of cup of tea++

"We need Heiss fighting alongside us for what's about to come!" No you don't.

Sips++

"Isn't the princess already going to perform the ritual and fix everything?" I fucking hate PC.

Sips++++

"No... we're going to create a world where we no longer need the ritual's power."

W̎̃͆̓̋̎̽ͭͦ̏̚͏̟͖͎̣̭̯̮̗̬̦̮͍̖̖̪̕͘͜͟e̐̿ͩ́ͭ̿ͪͬ͏̴̀͞͏̟̞̲̣͕̳͈̲̠͖̱̦͖ ̶̡̧̣̬̱͍͈̠̪̪̙̦͍̣̝̻͈̾ͮ̓̍̾̿̀̕a̋ͮ̆̿ͩ̉ͦ͒̐͆͗̑͑̍̌ͪͪ҉̘̯̮͇̘͙̭͙͖̳͎̙̮̞̭ͅļ̷̴̛̺̺͍̩̣̘̩͙̻̫̥̤̺͉͌̔̈̿̕r̛̳͇̼̞̙̬̬͇̫͕ͦ̓͌͒̅͆̅̾̿̓ͯ̈̃͑͟͟e̢̞̫͉̺̥̘͚͓̫͙̺̘̣̪͕̹͈̺ͤ͐̉͌̈́̓ͨ̇̿͒̍̈́̂̈́̔̄̽͊̀ą̶̝̻͍̻̠̻̳͕̗̻͈͉̯ͭ͌̒̆̄̒̊͑ͨͦ͌͗̔ͫ̂̃̕͢͡ͅd̨̳̳̩̱̲͈̈́ͤͫ͒͟͠y̷̰̠̯̩͙̮̦̼͈͕̬̖̔́̌̋̿̍̀́͟ ̵͉̩̬̹͕̳̫̖͎̝̖̺̥̙͙̽ͬ̓̅̈́ͬͦ̇̐ͪ̉̊͞͠d̷̹̮̭̹ͤ̉̒͂ͧ̓̅̉ͯ́ͣ̈́̕i̸̶̡̞͇̩̜ͮͯͬͯ̇̇ͩ͋ͮ̓̒ͤ͋d̸̴̴̡͙̰̤̭͔͇̯ͦ̀̎́ͤͮͯ.̊ͫͮ̽̄̏͗͋͂ͭ͗͏̡̰̜̘͖̤̱̀

FUCK YOU AND THE HELL SPIDER YOU RODE IN ON: 55

Tally:

Why was this changed? 531

Changes I Don’t Hate: 237

Poor choice of expressions/voice clips/sound effects: 148

Oops: 119

How Do I Art: 90

Nyarlamesia: 69

FUCK YOU AND THE HELL SPIDER YOU RODE IN ON: 55

Annoying Sound Effects: 46

Handy-dandy gameplay changes: 31

Great budget priorities: 27

The monkey's paw is flipping me off: 18

Let Stocke Say Ass: 14

Save Me From Fanservice: 13

#gameblogging

9 notes · View notes

innerchilddailywrk · 4 years

Text

25 Signs You Have a Wounded Inner Child

Feeling Safe Inner Child image

Pay close attention to these signs. They will help you learn the general extent to which your inner child has been wounded and the level to which you feel unsafe in this world. The more signs you say “yes” to, the more you need to seriously consider inner child work:

In the deepest part of me, I feel that there’s something wrong with me.

I experience anxiety whenever contemplating doing something new.

I’m a people-pleaser and tend to lack a strong identity.

I’m a rebel. I feel more alive when I’m in conflict with others.

I tend to hoard things and have trouble letting go.

I feel guilty standing up for myself.

I feel inadequate as a man or woman.

I’m driven to always be a super-achiever.

I consider myself a terrible sinner and I’m afraid of going to hell.

I constantly criticize myself for being inadequate.

I’m rigid and perfectionistic.

I have trouble starting or finishing things.

I’m ashamed of expressing strong emotions such as sadness or anger.

I rarely get mad, but when I do, I become rageful.

I have sex when I don’t really want to.

I’m ashamed of my bodily functions.

I spend too much time looking at pornography.

I distrust everyone, including myself.

I am an addict or have been addicted to something.

I avoid conflict at all costs.

I am afraid of people and tend to avoid them.

I feel more responsible for others than for myself.

I never felt close to one or both of my parents.

My deepest fear is being abandoned and I’ll do anything to hold onto a relationship.

I struggle to say “no.”

If you answered yes to ten or more of these statements, working with your inner child should be at the top of your priority list. If you answered yes to five or more of these statements, you should seriously consider reconnecting with your inner child.

How to Support Your Inner Child in Feeling Safe

Inner child healing image

Hold the hand of the child that lives in your soul. For this child, nothing is impossible. – Paulo Coelho

We all have an inner child. When was the last time you spoke or connected with yours? How often do you take the time to tune in and listen to your needs? Do you regularly make space to play and enjoy life?

As human beings, we are not linear or two-dimensional creatures. We are all multi-faceted and have multiple selves. Think about it for a moment: the ‘you’ currently reading this article is very different from the ‘you’ joking around with colleagues, isn’t it? The ‘you’ in the middle of the night is very different from the ‘you’ going to the movies with your partner or friend. The ‘you’ talking to your parents is very different from the ‘you’ talking with your boss.

Your inner child is an essential part of the intricate patchwork that makes up your identity. When you ignore or deny your inner child, he/she is doomed to wither away within the deep dark vaults of your unconscious mind.

Disclaimer: there is so much pain to be faced with inner child work. But there is also so much joy and so much vitality to be experienced. One of the most exciting and miraculous parts of inner child work is that often hidden gifts and aptitudes that we’ve long lost touch with emerge. Not only that, but many of our relationships improve, our addictions/habits lessen or fade away, and our connection with ourselves deepens. Self-love and acceptance are finally possible. I’m not saying you will experience all of these benefits right away, but you will most certainly experience something beneficial so long as you’re committed!

Also, I want to say here that these exercises are not intended to replace therapy, programs or groups for the inner child or child abuse. If you’ve gone through child sexual abuse, severe emotional abuse, or have a mental illness, seeking professional help is essential. This article is only meant to be a supplement. Finally, if you experience strange or overwhelming emotions while practicing the advice below, please stop immediately. Seek the help of a professional counselor before proceeding.

Remember that everything takes time. The practices below are not quick fixes. They’re not sparkly wands that will immediately make everything better. But they will give you the basic tools you need for feeling safe, secure, and protected at a core level. I truly hope you find something below that will nourish you and your relationship with your inner child. And remember, if you need more in-depth help, I recommend finding more inner child healing exercises in our Inner Child Journal.

Here are the summarized points:

Reflect on the timeline of your childhood

Write a letter to your inner child

Write a letter from your inner child

Share your pain with a trusted person

Loving and supportive affirmations

Do an inner child visualization/meditation

Be your own protector and nurturer

I’ll go more in-depth into these points below:

1. Reflect on the timeline of your childhood

You might like to get a piece of paper or document on your computer and divide your childhood into the following stages: Infant Self (0-9 months), Toddler Self (9 months to 3 years), Preschool Self (3-6 years), and School-Aged Self (6 years to puberty).

Within each stage, try your best to recall how you felt, what life was like, and how safe, supported, and accepted you felt. Keep in mind that feeling safe as a child didn’t always have to do with the family environment. Often the school or other environments that we spent a lot of time in shaped our inner child. Record any memories or physical sensations you had, even if they feel fragmented. Record the tones of voice, expressions, and words your parents or teaches used when interacting with you. Even if a memory seems silly or a reaction you remember having seemed excessive, please write it down. As an adult, it’s important to honor what your inner child authentically experienced, even if it seems ridiculous or exaggerated as an adult.

The more information and emotionally-charged material you have for a particular age range, the more you need to focus on connecting with that particular stage. I’ll share with you how below.

2. Write a letter TO your inner child

Imagine that you’re a wise, gentle, and loving wizard or fairy godmother. Imagine that you want to adopt your inner child. As you write the letter, tell your inner child how much you love them and want to spend time with them. Write in a way that makes you feel safe, cared for, and understood. Here’s an example from a letter I have written to my inner child:

Dear Little Ale,

I’m so happy you’re born. I am here to protect, love, and care for you. I want to help you feel loved and accepted for who you are. I want to show you that it’s safe to be heard, to feel, and to be seen. I want you to feel like you will always have a home with me no matter what. I want to help and guide you every step of the way. I love you so much.

Love, Fairy Godmother Aletheia

If you feel emotional during this process, it’s okay. Let yourself cry and be proud of your courage to express how you truly feel.

3. Write a letter FROM your inner child

Using your non-dominant hand (in order to bypass your logical side of the brain), write yourself a letter from the perspective of your inner child. For example, if you are usually right-handed, use your left hand to write. Using your non-dominant hand will help you get more in touch with the feelings of your inner child. Here is my own example of my inner child speaking to me:

Dear Godmother,

I want to find home. Please protect me. I don’t want to feel alone anymore.

Love, Little Ale

You can write back and forth between your Wizard/Fairy Godmother self and your little self. Creating this conversation often reveals a lot of surprising and buried emotions, and new information.

4. Share your pain with a trusted person

It is important that the pain you went through as a child is validated and heard by someone. Whether you seek out a caring friend, support group, or trusted therapist please understand that sharing your feelings is essential to all inner child work. Sure, you can do it alone. And you can do a lot of deep work alone in general. But in order to experience a ‘breakthrough’ or even just to heal deeply, sharing is important. We are social creatures who need others to hold space for us. Your pain needs to be lovingly validated. If the person you’re sharing your inner child work with is questioning, arguing, or trying to give advice to you, you’re not getting what you need!

Here, it is vital for me to emphasize the need to seek real caring and nurturing support. If you don’t have friends who are mature or capable enough of doing this, please consider finding a therapist or spiritual counselor. There are many affordable options out there. Investing in your well-being and mental health IS worth it. There are also many professionals out there who specialize in inner child work or hold workshops. Counselor and self-help writer John Bradshaw writes “I believe that group work is the most powerful form of therapy” when referring to inner child work. But one thing: please don’t share with your family members, even if they are caring. Family members who have not done their own inner child work are much less capable of dealing with yours. Defensiveness, anger, finger-pointing, and grief may result in sharing your feelings with family members, so please don’t do it.

Sharing takes tremendous courage and inner strength. It’s normal and okay to feel scared! Feel the fear, and if you feel ready, share anyway.

5. Loving and supportive affirmations

Loving affirmations are a powerful way to affirm your worthiness and support your journey in feeling safe. When repeated consistently, affirmations have a way of rewiring the brain and sinking down into unconscious layers of programming. Repeating such messages can result in deep change and healing at a primal level.

Here are some loving and supportive affirmations you can say to yourself throughout the day and during meditation:

I will stay here and support you.

Welcome to the world, I’ve been waiting to hold you.

I love you just the way you are.

I’m so glad you’re here.

I want to take care of you.

I want to spend time with you.

I want to hear your thoughts and feelings.

It’s OK to feel sad and scared.

It’s OK to be yourself.

You’re allowed to say no.

You are so special to me.

You have so much to offer the world.

I believe in you.

I will protect you against harm.

You can say these affirmations as many times as you need, whenever is necessary during the day. You might even like to use a special voice when saying these affirmations, such as the voice of a wise old man or a loving mother.

Also feel free to create your own loving affirmations! The list above will help you get started, but often the most powerful affirmations organically arise from your deepest needs.

6. Do an inner child visualization/meditation

You will need to dedicate about half an hour or more to this exercise. Find a quiet and comfortable space, and either sit or lie down.

Imagine that you are about to meet your inner child. You walk outside into your backyard and he/she is playing in a sandbox. What age is he/she? You walk up to your inner child and sit down. “Hello,” you might say, introducing yourself. You look into the eyes of your inner child. What is he/she feeling towards you? Curiosity? Trepidation? Shyness? Skepticism? Excitement? Respect your inner child and his/her boundaries. If he/she wishes to hug you or shake your hand, let that happen. If not, it’s okay. Your inner child may just need to warm up to you. You might next wish to ask, “What do you need the most?” If you are communicating with your infant self during this visualization, the response might come as a visceral feeling as opposed to communicating with your school-aged self who might respond verbally. If your inner child tells you what they need, provide a safe space for them. Let them feel heard, seen, understood, and loved by you. You might like to share with them how much you love and care for them, and wish them to be cared for. If your inner child wishes to be cradled, hugged, or held, embrace the opportunity. Once you feel that your mission to connect with your inner child has been completed, you can visualize yourself walking back into your house. Focus on your breathing, stretch your body, and open your eyes.

I recommend journaling about the experience. Journaling is a wonderful tool for self-reflection, deepening your self-understanding, and also serving as a way to document your progress. So take a few minutes to do it!

7. Be your own protector and nurturer

As adults, it’s important that we take responsibility for our emotional well-being. Feeling safe in this world is extremely important and essential for our inner child to thrive. Signs that you feel unsafe in this world may include:

Constant anxiety around others

Tendency to worry excessively

Inability to trust others

Inability to trust yourself and your abilities

Feeling afraid to do things by yourself

Harsh criticism of yourself

Fear of trying new things or going to new places

Assuming the worst in every situation

If you can relate to the feeling of constantly ‘being on edge’ in the world and around others, I strongly recommend focusing on feeling safe with yourself. Constant self-criticism, ignoring your needs, lacking personal boundaries, always putting others above yourself, and changing yourself to be accepted all keep you in a fearful state of not feeling safe.

While our parents or guardians may not have fulfilled most of our needs (or any of our needs), the beautiful truth is that we can. The concept is strange, even foreign to us, but we can be our own parents!

The benefits of re-parenting yourself?

Greater happiness and optimism

Improved creativity

Healthier mind, body, and soul

Stronger friendships and relationships

Development of essential life skills: acceptance, forgiveness, vulnerability, compassion, self-love

If you find it really hard to re-parent your inner child, seeking help from an inner child work familiarized therapist will be a wise investment. Therapists, after all, act as substitute parents. They can listen to and help coach your inner child, while supporting and strengthening your inner parent.

If you prefer to go solo, that is absolutely possible. However, please do seek out a support network if you can, whether online or in real life.

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robininthelabyrinth · 7 years

Note

Hello! If you're taking prompts still, could you do a coldwave one? Where the mind eraser that mick used on Len didn't quite work, so he remembers but he only sees it in is dreams? So most- if not every- nights len wakes up screaming but Micks always there to comfort him which he doesn't understand cause he ~killed Mick~ and still doesn't understand it until Rip proposed them becoming legends and then it's so much clearer. (Which could lead to Len just refusing the legends idea completely?)

By overwhelming majority :D ficlet #1, featuring a brief Harley Quinn cameo

ao3 link

————————————

It’s dreams, at first.

Len’s never had recurring dreams before, though, so this is new. They’re so vivid, so clear – they’re not nearly as nonsensical as Len’s dreams usually are. They make linear sense, for one thing, instead of jumping around from one horror to another, or randomly introducing pineapples in the corner of every scene.

He wakes up shouting at himself to stop.

Stop fighting, stop hurting, stop killing Mick.

They’ve fought plenty of times, aimed their guns at each other, but they’d never pull the trigger the way he sees himself doing, his face frozen in anger and hurt and betrayal.

Never.

“You sure you’re okay?” Mick asks after the first few times.

Len shrugs it off.

“You’re not okay,” Mick says firmly after the tenth or twentieth time. Not even going up against the Flash with Lisa had helped, a casino break and a grandiose battle just like he’s always enjoyed, and usually there’s nothing like having both Mick and Lisa where Len can keep an eye on them – all his chicks in their nest, so to speak – to calm Len’s subconscious down. Didn’t work this time, though, and Mick knows it just as well as Len.

“I might have a problem,” Len confesses, and tells Mick the whole story. The weird dreams that started right after his first battle with the Flash - the linearity of them - the consistency of them - how much it felt like a memory, for all that he wakes up with Mick, alive and well, curled up by his side -

“Okay,” Mick says when Len’s done. “That makes – exactly zero sense, but let’s get started working this out.”

“Working this out how?” Len asks doubtfully. “It’s just a dream. It’s not real.”

“And most of my memories from before the age of ten are non-existent because I have trauma-related amnesia,” Mick points out. “Don’t see them anywhere but my dreams.”

“You’re here, Mick,” Len points out in return. “I obviously didn’t kill you. Also, there were two of you. None of that makes any sense as anything other than a dream.”

“You say it’s still fuzzy,” Mick says. “Let’s start by clearing things up. My shrink can recommend someone.”

“You want me to see a shrink?”

“No,” Mick says patiently. “I want you to see a hypnotist.”

“Wow, that’s a terrible idea,” Len says. “We’re not doing that.”

He dreams again that night of killing Mick, sees the ice freeze his partner’s heart, sees the blood spill out, thick and red, and that scene just repeats on endless loop again and again and again –

“Mick,” Len says, shaking his partner awake at four in the morning.

“Wha…?”

“That hypnotist,” Len says. “Who’d you have in mind?”

“Well,” Mick says. “I kinda only really know one that deals with supervillains…”

“Wow,” Poison Ivy, Mick’s pen pal plant-buddy (weirdos, both of them), says about a week later, after Len’s told her and her girlfriend the whole story from the start. “This is a terrible idea.”

“I know, right?” Len says gloomily.

“I mean, I’m a shrink an’ Ivy’s good with hypnotism, so I guess we’re the best you’ve got?” Harley says, but she sounds very doubtful. “We ain’t that good, though. But, like, we don’t want you to fall into Hugo Strange’s lap either, so…”

“You guys helped me clear up some old suppressed memories that were causing me some trouble not four months ago, following the fire,” Mick argues. “You do it all the time for the local girls, I know you do.”

“Those are suppressed memories,” Ivy stresses. “Not dreams.”

“Same difference.”

Harley opens her mouth, then closes it with an effort of will. And then a second later bursts out with, “Do you even know how wrong that is -?!”

“Shhh, it’s okay, babe, relax,” Ivy says soothingly to Harley. “Mick, stop it before she starts ranting about the DSM, okay?”

“Just do it before I chicken out,” Len interjects quickly, because Mick’s looking mutinous and Harley’s looking murderous and no one wants to get in the middle of that. “And we all know how Ivy feels about chicken.”

“Don’t mock the vegetarian about to entrance you,” Ivy says, rolling her eyes. “Okay, let’s do this thing.”

Len goes under.

When he resurfaces, he has a brand new shiny clear set of dreams (memories?), and they still make zero sense. He tells them to everyone, and they puzzle over them together.

“Okay,” Harley says. “There’s one thing that might make this whole stupid sheebang make a lick of sense.”

“What’s that?”

“Bear with me - we start by assuming that time travel exists.”

“Yeah, right.”

“Why not?” she presses. “If Ivy can exist, if your Flash can exist, and all those metas – why not time travelers?”

“If there were time travelers, wouldn’t we have seen them?” Len points out. “They’d come back to famous events or something.”

“Well, maybe they can’t. Maybe there’s some sorta Time Police to keep ‘em from interfering…”

“Even if there is something like that, putting aside how distressing it is to imagine law enforcement getting its fingers into something as awesome as time travel, how’d Mick and I get caught up in it?” Len demands.

“Boss,” Mick says. “If anyone offered you a chance to go time traveling, you’d leap at it.”

“Only for a year,” Len says.

Mick frowns. “Why?”

“Because then it’d be a leap year. Get it?”

Harley hits him with a pillow, cackling madly in approval, as the other two groan and put their heads in their hands. Len hadn’t even seen any pillows – either Harley secretly has access to a pocket of space-time, or it’d been hidden in the plants somewhere. In which case Len really doesn’t know.

He’s pretty sure it’s the space-time pocket.

“So what do we do?” Mick finally asks.

“Don’t go time traveling,” Ivy says immediately.

“But what if the consequences of us not going are worse than the consequences of us going?” Len asks. “I assume our past selves had a good reason.”

“Let’s focus on getting back the rest of your - you know what, let’s just assume they’re memories,” Ivy says firmly. “Maybe that’ll explain.”

A few hours later, Harley has still not stopped saying “Damien Darhk? And Malcolm Merlyn? What is this, the League of Shadows rejects society?”

“I’d feel offended, but the League would never try to recruit me,” Len says thoughtfully. “Also, thanks for finally explaining what the League of Shadows is; I’d been wondering. How do you even know about foreign ninjas?”

“Eh, Bats is pretty thorough,” Harley says with a shrug. “They either all pass through here or at least we hear about ‘em.”

“That still doesn’t stop us from figuring out how to stop this,” Len says.

“According to your memories, they recruited your past self – who’s an idiot, by the way – by telling him, believably, that you die in the future,” Ivy says, tapping her lips. “I think we have to assume that you actually did die, but in a way that was necessary for some reason. That’s why Mick betrays you to his hero team -”

“I’m never joining a hero team,” Mick grumbles, not for the first time.

“- and why you’re so upset. You think he’s killing you, and you’re lashing out.”

“I still feel like it’s an overreaction,” Len objects. “We’d fight it out, not kill each other.”

“If it helps, I think that fuzzy bit of memory in the middle is Merlyn doing something to your brain,” Ivy offers.

“He’s called ‘the Magician’,” Harley agrees. “Excellent with hypnotism. He’d totally fuck with you, make you more on their side than you outta be.”

“The future is bright,” Len says with a sigh. “We’ve seriously got to figure out a way to avert it.”

“Wish we could just ask ‘em what the deal is,” Harley agrees, also heaving a sigh.

Len pauses.

“Boss?” Mick asks.

“I’ve got a really bad idea,” Len says.

The Waverider does, in fact, show up to stop them from burning down STAR Labs.

“I don’t know how it happens,” the woman in white – Sara? – is saying as she walks down the platform. “Mick, you’re involved – what’s going on?”

“I don’t know!” Mick’s voice rings out. He’s walking behind her - a few pounds heavier, a grumpy look on his face, but unmistakably Mick.

The present Mick, who’s hiding with Len behind a curve of the building, starts in shock. Seeing is believing, Len guesses.

“Well, figure out where those bombs are,” she says.

“Sure,” future Mick snaps, and marches away from her – right to where they’re hiding.

The two Micks stare at each other.

“This is weird,” present Mick says.

“No kidding,” future Mick grunts. “Listen, last time I crossed paths with my past double, things went to shit. What’s going on? This didn’t happen the first time around.”

“We know what happened the last time that happened,” Len says. Future Mick starts – in just the same way present Mick just did – and looks at him, then doesn’t look at him, then looks conflicted and lost and awful. Len can’t help but reach out a hand to wrap around his arm, a comforting motion, like he always does, but it backfires – future Mick looks like he’s about to cry or something. “We just need more intel on what happens to me. So we can stop it.”

“You die,” future Mick says. “At the Oculus. Some sort of magic timeline-controlling device that the Time Pigs got their hands on, use to manipulate time. We were gonna destroy it, but someone needed to stay behind. You – you take my place and get blown up.”

“Why would you be there?”

“Stupidity?” future Mick suggests. “I really don’t know, somedays, but it seemed worth it at the time. We saved the whole timeline from being fucked with by some pretty awful guys. They tortured me.”

“Are they dead now?” Len demands.

“Yeah, they all died in the explosion,” future Mick says. “Why are you…?”

“No, I have an idea,” Len says. “Now go disable those bombs while we make a getaway.”

“You’d better have an idea,” future Mick says. He looks desperate.

Present Mick doesn’t look much better.

“Leave it to me,” Len says.

Future Mick nods and goes to disable the bombs.

And then he goes back to the Waverider before Sara can get back.

“Gideon,” he says. “Is there a time anomaly remaining?”

“Yes, Mr. Rory,” Gideon says. “The burning of STAR Labs has been successfully averted, but another anomaly is forming, relating to one Leonard Snart and his –”

“Beta delta zed, baseline override,” Mick says. “Forget about the Snart anomaly. You don’t know about it, and if anyone asks, you deny it exists.”

“Understood, Mr. Rory,” Gideon says.

“Sorry, Gids.”

“I understand,” she says. “I don’t appreciate it, but I understand.”

A day passes, though, and Mick doesn’t feel any different. He vaguely remembers the incident in question, remembers Len being all reassuring and shit, but nothing ever really came of it, and eventually he largely forgot about it.

Another day.

A week.

The plan must not have worked.

And then they get called back to 2017, and there Len is, standing by the Flash’s side, and he’s smirking. “About time,” he drawls.

“You asshole,” Mick says, understanding. “You didn’t tell me the plan?”

“Didn’t want to cause paradox!”

“I’m going to punch you!”

“Wait,” Jax says. “Is that our Snart? Back? For real?”

“I’m the one that went boom,” Len confirms. “Also the one who killed animal girl here – I’d apologize if I really cared – but I got over that years ago, and you should too.”

“How?” Rip demands.

“I remembered what happened in the past, and used it to shape the future,” Len says with a shrug.

“The device should have worked – you shouldn’t have remembered it as anything other than a dream!”

“You didn’t tell me that,” Mick snaps. “Or I would’ve told you that wouldn’t have worked. Snart has nightmares or dreams about pineapples and that’s it. Of course we got suspicious when he started dreaming about evil dystopias and murder.”

“Pineapples?” Ray asks.

“Don’t ask,” Len says.

“But even if he did retain the dreams, the memories wouldn’t have been anywhere near clear enough –” Rip starts.

“Yeah, about that,” Len says. “I promised Harley and Ivy a ride in the Waverider as recompense. You don’t mind, do you?”

“Of course we mind!” Sara exclaims.

“Awwww, that’s no fun,” Ivy purrs, coming out of the door in her usual state of undress-masquerading-as-a-costume, Harley a few feet behind her in what appeared to be three pieces of black-and-red leather barely stitched together - Mick has really got to have a word with her about her costume choices. He and Len share a look of total agreement on the subject.

“I’ve changed my mind,” Sara says, staring. “We don’t mind. At all. Hiya, girls.”

Ivy blows her a kiss.

All the people even slightly attracted to women in the room that haven’t been inoculated – which is to say, everyone but Harley, Mick, and Len, because there’s straight and there’s gay and then there’s Ivy-resistant and just about no one is Ivy-resistant – promptly go all glazed-eyed.

Interestingly enough, this category includes both Amaya and Iris.

“Yeah,” Len says. “This is gonna be fine.”

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me the plan,” Mick grumbles.

“Oh, get over it,” Len says, sliding a hand around Mick’s waist. No one’s going to notice their public display of affection with Ivy and her pheromones in the room. “At least I’m alive, and no more nightmares of murdering you.”

“No?”

“Nope,” Len says. “I’m back to pineapples.”

“One day, you’re going to explain that,” Harley tells him.

“It’s going with me to my grave,” Len says.

“Not anytime soon, it’s not,” Mick says. “You’re staying right here where and when I can keep an eye on you, you hear me?!”

#dccoldwave #mick rory #leonard snart #Harley quinn #my fic #poison ivy

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aion-rsa · 5 years

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7 Epistolary Time Travel Stories

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Here are some of our favorite TV shows, books, and movies that tell a time travel story through letters, radio, and DVDs.

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The epistolary novel—that is, a story told through letters—dates back all the way to the 1400s in the earliest versions of the form, counting Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, Bram Stoker’s Dracula, and Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice as famous examples.

But what about the first time travel narrative told through correspondence? Could it have begun with a short story in 1959—or might one theorize that the epistolary time travel story will exist, has always existed, throughout the timestream? That certainly feels like the case with Max Gladstone and Amal El-Mohtar’s new novella This Is How You Lose the Time War, featuring a pair of transdimensional pen pals.

At any rate, the form lends itself to a twisty story filled with predestination paradoxes created by the scratch of a pen or the typing of a key—literally writing the future, or the past, into being. And even as the method of delivery evolves from a traditional letter to more creative interpretations of communication, the connections forged on the metaphorical page remain as compelling. From a magical mailbox inspiring a meet-cute to rival time war agents leaving love notes across time, these seven stories prove that every time travel story has at least two sides.

“The Love Letter” by Jack Finney

Delivery method: writing desk with hidden compartments

What’s the story?

In 1959, bachelor Jake Belknap buys a seemingly simple desk from a secondhand store, it having been sold from a nearby Brooklyn brownstone. But when he happens to sit down at the desk on a particularly existential night of wondering if he’ll ever find someone to love, what does he discover but a secret hiding spot, and a note inside?

read more: 10 Ridiculous Time Machines in Fiction

It’s not so much a letter as a cry for help, from one Helen Elizabeth Worley in 1882. Charmed by her open-ended salutation (“Dearest!”) and moved by her own desperate longing, Jake impulsively writes back, validating Helen’s every forbidden thought. With the convenience of his vintage stamp collection and knowledge of a nearby post office that was still standing in the 1800s, Jake is able to reach Helen across seventy-odd years. After just a letter or two, they both believe themselves to like the other person enough to potentially fall in love… if only they could meet.

Pen pal paradox?

There are only so many hidden compartments in one desk, however; and once each is opened, Helen cannot place anything else within it. Jake doesn’t realize this until there is one compartment left, so he implores her to send something worthwhile. Instead of the long love letter he expected, however, he receives simply a photograph of her, with the inscription I will never forget. And when it finally occurs to him to track down her grave, he sees her true final missive to him, hidden in plain sight: I never forgot.

Successful delivery or return to sender?

Helen’s gravestone is a nice little touch, but that’s all we’re left with in Jake’s telling. Unlike other stories on this list, we don’t get a sense of how opening himself up to Helen’s love actually changed him for the better. Then again, there’s always the Hallmark movie version.

Frequency

Delivery method: ham radio broadcasts during the aurora borealis

What’s the story?

Over time, the definition of epistolary stories has broadened to include other forms of communication—from newspaper clippings to voicemails to, in this 2000 film’s case, hitting just the right radio frequency to reach across time and space. In 1999, cop John Sullivan (Jim Caviezel) finds that his dead father’s old ham radio starts broadcasting during a rare solar flare. On the other end? His dad, firefighter Frank Sullivan (Dennis Quaid), in 1969, the night before his death.

Pen pal paradox?

It’s easy enough for John to warn Frank of his impending fiery doom so that he makes it out alive. But then details in 1999 start changing: instead of John losing his father to fire, his mother is murdered by a serial killer, and Frank is still fated to die in 1989 from (irony of ironies) smoking. When his father’s old friend assigns John to investigate the cold case of serial killer “the Nightingale,” he uses his knowledge of the past and his father’s action in the past to try to save his mother.

Successful delivery or return to sender?

Like The Lake House, this epistolary time travel movie tends toward the cheesy (they get you with the ol’ “past injury influences present action” bit), but Caviezel and Quaid foster a tender father-son dynamic that makes it worthwhile. While the movie was adapted into a 2016 CW TV series of the same name, with a female lead no less, it only lasted one season.

The Lake House

Delivery method: magical mailbox

What’s the story?

The Lake House feels like the urtext of the epistolary time travel story, despite the fact that it came out only in 2006—likely because of how it so commits to the delightfully cheesy conceit of a time-traveling mailbox through which doctor Kate Forster (Sandra Bullock) and architect Alex Wyler (Keanu Reeves) exchange letters.

read more: Bill & Ted 3 — Everything We Know

Ostensibly both tenants of the same idyllic lake house—not to mention unintentionally sharing custody of an adorable dog—they soon discover that they exist exactly two years apart, with Kate in 2006 and Alex in 2004. Though it takes a few back-and-forth notes to be sure that neither is pranking the other, their status as time-crossed lovers becomes cemented once Kate predicts both the dog tracking pawprints through “their” house as well as a surprise cold snap. There’s also the nifty mechanic of watching the mailbox flag go up and down when the other receives a letter.

Pen pal paradox?

Aside from saving them a hell of a lot on postage, the TARDIS-like mailbox can transport more than just letters: a thoughtful scarf from Kate, an annotated map of Alex’s favorite Chicago spots that lets them share a walking tour, a copy of Alex’s father’s posthumous memoirs on the day of his death.

read more: Sandra Bullock Was Almost Cast as The Matrix's Neo

Their correspondence, in rambling letters and impatient quick-scribbled responses, both creates paradoxes and fulfills time loops; the movie seems to play fast-and-loose with time travel rules about how much you can change the past (like planting a surprise tree) versus fitting into the established fabric of time.

Despite the rom-com’s often overbearing earnestness, there are some clever moments, like when Alex charms his way into Kate’s birthday party in 2004 and even kisses her—a fond but vague memory for her that sharpens only after they’ve been writing each other for months. But if they’re so head-over-heels for each other, then why doesn’t Alex show up for their dinner date in Kate’s present?

Successful delivery or return to sender?

Watching this at a sleepover in 2006, the twist of “one of us is dead in the other’s timeline!” was still fairly unique in time travel stories, or at least what teenage me had been exposed to. Now you can see it coming a mile away. The Lake House’s big reveal comes on so suddenly, and gets resolved equally quickly, that it’s difficult to really key into the emotional roller coaster of the last ten minutes.

read more: Toy Story 4 — How Keanu Reeves Became Duke Kaboom

That said, on a rewatch the solution is deceptively simple: just wait. As a teen I was scratching my head thinking, “That’s it?” but, as an adult, I see how begging someone to go through linear time is the greatest request you can make in a time travel story. Still, this is a movie to be giggled at over wine, not to actually be taken seriously.

Doctor Who, “Blink”

Delivery method: DVD Easter egg extras courtesy of a transcript

What’s the story?

In one of the new Doctor Who’s most memorable (and quotable) episodes, Sally Sparrow (Carey Mulligan) encounters the Weeping Angels in then-contemporary 2007, after they trap her friend Kathy in the past. When Sally tracks down Kathy’s brother Larry to share her condolences, she instead discovers that he has been following a most peculiar phenomenon: odd Easter eggs of a man having a one-sided conversation, spread out over 17 DVDs… all of which Sally owns.

read more: Doctor Who Season 12 to Feature The Judoon

When Sally places the disc in a DVD player, she finds herself “talking” to the Doctor (David Tennant) despite the fact that he has recorded this video while trapped in 1969. In some cases, having seen the Easter eggs before, she can anticipate the Doctor’s next line; in the most baffling moments, he seems to respond to her exclamations as if they are actually conversing. In the Doctor’s case, he’s reading from a complete transcript, despite the fact that this exchange cannot happen until Sally plays her part in 2007.

Pen pal paradox?

“Look to your left,” the Doctor says—an ambiguous line that Larry, with all his rewatching, has not been able to decipher. Until Sally does so and sees Larry himself, who has printed out the Doctor’s lines and is writing in Sally’s half of the conversation. After defeating the Weeping Angels, Sally runs into the Doctor and hands him the completed transcript, telling him that he’ll need it.

Fittingly, this is the episode that coined the series’ description of time travel as “wibbly wobbly, timey wimey.”

Successful delivery or return to sender?

That sentence may have gotten away from the Doctor a bit, but this episode is a brilliant riff on the epistolary time travel story.

The Incarnations by Susan Barker

Delivery method: taxi cab

What’s the story?

In the lead-up to the 2008 Summer Olympics in China, Beijing taxi driver Wang Jun discovers an unsettling anonymous note in the visor of his cab: “I watch you most days.” The letter writer, calling themselves Wang’s soulmate, explains that, even though Wang may not know them in this life, the two of them have been intertwined in six reincarnated lives over the past one thousand years.

read more: Best New Young Adult Books

Concubines in the Forbidden City; classmates during the start of the Cultural Revolution; 19th-century prisoners of Chinese pirates; incestuous relations—the letter writer describes their gruesome, intimate pasts with Wang in a series of missives that increasingly threaten his current incarnation, including his wife and daughter.

Pen pal paradox?

The past lifetimesdescribed by the letter writer, whether they were cut violently short or proceeded until death, all seem to be self-contained experiences with no impact on the present—though clearly the letter writer remembers all of these incarnations well enough to influence their actions in reaching out to Wang.

While the timeline itself does not appear to be in danger of instability, Wang’s growing paranoia at his stalker’s identity—and how close they could be to his family—influence his movements in ways that they would not have had he not opened that first letter.

Successful delivery or return to sender?

It turns out epistolary does not necessarily mean the story must contain back-and-forth letters, only that it be told through letters (or some other communication). Barker writes so compellingly—and that often means brutally—that the book spins out a half-dozen narratives that make the reader feel as if they too were a bit player in each of China’s key eras. But what really makes The Incarnations work is the nagging suspicion that it isn’t a time travel story at all, that the letter writer could just be making it all up.

Time Was by Ian McDonald

Delivery method: World War II book of poetry

What’s the story?

Ian McDonald’s quiet, romantic novella is not the first epistolary story to bring in a third player—the well-meaning, if somewhat voyeuristic, reader of these love letters in another time—but the trope gains more resonance when time travel is involved.

In London, book dealer Emmett Leigh acquires and sells an odd little used book—Time Was, a poetry collection by one E.L.—but pockets the love letter he spots pressed into its pages. Posting the text of Tom’s missive to Ben to some online history groups, Emmett is presented with all sorts of historical artifacts: a photo, a diary entry, even a still from a documentary in which they are the wrong age. And, eventually, another copy of Time Was, this time at a bookstore in Paris, containing a letter from Ben to Tom.

read more: How Red, White, and Royal Blue Hopes For a Kinder America

Important as the letters are for touching base with one another as these two lovers jump in and out of time and across the globe, the real time travel is through the books themselves—each passed along with careful precision so that it and its contents can be recovered. It’s a clever play on the time travel trope of communicating via an object moving through linear time… so long as nobody puts it up on eBay, of course.

Pen pal paradox?

Tom and Ben are frequently separated for various reasons, some related to time travel and others concerning their respective jobs as Royal Engineer and Royal Air Force scientist. Yet their plan revolving around the Time Was editions is surprisingly straightforward. It’s only when Emmett inserts himself into the story, and chases down what he thinks was the precipitating event, that things start to get wobbly.

Successful delivery or return to sender?

Time Was is at its most clever when Emmett is deciphering the concrete evidence of photo, video, text, and oral tradition. While segments in which the readers (that’s us) actually meet Tom and Ben in their own original time provide some useful context, overall their story is left frustratingly unresolved. This novella feels like the beginning and end of a longer saga, with all the metaphorical pages ripped out of the middle.

This Is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone

Delivery method: letters revealed by burning and boiling; letters whittled onto stolen bones and fossilized fish; letters seeded and tended and plucked at the utmost ripeness

What’s the story?

On a distant, bloody battlefield in one of thousands of strands of reality, Red claims victory for her Agency—the brutal, rigid foot-soldiers of one half of the eternal, ever-shifting time war. But then, in the rubble, she finds a letter that says burn before reading. Unable to resist the taunt, Red meets her match: Blue, deep-cover spy for Garden, whose own interferences with time are more subtle yet still choke out the Agency’s changes as viciously as weeds.

read more: Best New Science Fiction Books

A letter this clever, this audacious, deserves a response. And so Red and Blue begin leaving one another notes, dispatches, epistles, bulletins across strands—all while sabotaging the other’s mission in cheeky ways. But what begins as a relatively low-stakes bit of intellectual sparring soon turns emotional, because you can’t write this many increasingly creative letters without putting something of yourself into them. And so, as they begin to fall in love, these rival time agents begin to wonder how much they actually want to win the war for either side.

Pen pal paradox?

Red and Blue’s entire missions are based on undermining the other side, so very much yes. Empires raised by the Agency’s hand are undone by Garden; Garden’s intel is snatched by the Agency and used against them; multiple Genghis Khans coexist, some of them even peaceful. As Red and Blue chase one another up and down the braid of time, plaiting and yanking out strands, there is no one reality to maintain—only the drive to win one more time than the other side.

Successful delivery or return to sender?

Part of the story’s charm is in Gladstone and El-Mohtar having co-written the novella in person at a retreat and on other visits—ironic considering that Red and Blue are almost never in the same place at the same time.

The worldbuilding is superb, especially in the highly detailed snapshots of dozens of alternate realities, but the true star is the letters themselves, set off from the action like treasured artifacts stored for posterity—when, again ironically, their very existence threatens the fabric of reality. The kind of story that can be stretched (as it will be in the television adaptation, which has been optioned) or condensed as needed, This Is How You Lose the Time War wonderfully delivers on its premise.

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kleroterion · 7 years

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Thoughts on Long-Term Unemployment

This is not a survival guide, nor is it a comprehensive tip list for getting through long-term unemployment (or, really, any period of unemployment). It’s a series of things that I learned while job searching for almost a year after I graduated from college. A close friend was looking for almost 3 years post-graduation, and another friend close to 8 months. This is not a unique experience and you are not alone. Granted, I had it easy compared to others - a supportive family, a place to stay and be cared for while I looked for a job, and enough savings to get me by. But it was a terrible experience and I want to at least try to help someone who is going through the same thing. These musings reflect my own experience and will not necessarily apply to everyone. This is a collection of notes and thoughts, not a panacea. I know at the end of the day you will go to bed with anxiety, no matter what I say. But maybe something here will speak to someone. I want to try.

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Phone interviews/pre-interviews are increasingly common, which gives you an opportunity to really shine - you’ve got the advantage. A lot of people have phone anxiety, but think of it as a way to cater the conversation to your space: you can have information pulled up on your computer, spread out hand-written scribbles in front of you, and be dressed in comfy pajamas. Make it so that the interview is on your terms - times are typically highly negotiable because it’s just over the phone, so you can pick a time that represents your peak efficiency mode.

If you can, try to participate in something during this long stretch of time. This is something that requires a financial safety net, so it won’t work for everyone (I’m sorry). Try to find activities that you can talk about in interviews or that can build your resume (but aren’t filler): Volunteering (Meals on Wheels, at a library, homeless shelters), aiding a political campaign, learning a new skill/language, or studying for an exam you know you’ll have to take (the GRE, LSAT, MCAT, etc.). Take advantage of this time if you can. Getting out of the house and socializing is really important during these hard times and working towards a goal or helping others is a way to move forward when you feel so stuck.

Open curtains and windows. Being cloistered up with only fluorescents or lamp light isn’t super conducive to mental health (in my opinion). Air out the house. Let natural sunlight in.

People in the relevant industries should consider having an online portfolio, and that url should be placed prominently on one’s resume. WordPress is free, and employers (especially in that industry) like to see applicants with 21st-century skill sets. Demonstrate that you can navigate website-making tools while also showing off your talents. If you can, buy a domain name, but it’s not essential. WordPress has enough versatility on its own to get you what you need and to let people see what you are capable of.

Yes, you will have to write cover letters. Because you’re going to be applying a lot, have a template that you can customize for each job. It should be something general enough to work for many outlets, but you need to make a point to make it unique to each company you apply to - tailoring is essential. You won’t necessarily need to write a new one from scratch each time, but make sure to let them know you’re talking to them, not just anyone. Read the job description and incorporate their needs with your skill set into the letter. Try to make your letter a narrative rather than a formulaic sheet of information that they can easily glean from your resume. What experiences make you qualified for that particular job? Why are you the best candidate, and how can you prove it? Find a way to show patterns and traits in your life that define you as a person, and tie it into your employment and experience.

Self-care is a thing for a reason. Stay hydrated. Shower. Do the dishes. Getting up in the morning can be really hard. There’s a lot of disappointment in long-term unemployment. Taking the little steps each day when you don’t want to will keep a sense of control and order in your life. A pile of dirty dishes in the sink, clutter and laundry, dirty hair: no judgment. Seriously. I understand depression. I’ve been there. I’m there. But those things, while seemingly just aesthetic, really do impact you mentally. If you can try to stay on top of those things, you might be able to get to the bigger stuff. I don’t think you’ll ever feel bad after doing any of them, and getting just a few things done tends to propel you just based off of action - an object in motion stays in motion.

Resist the temptation to sleep in. When you’re unemployed for long stretches of time, it’s so, so tempting to let yourself sleep until noon, but you have to fight that urge. Please trust me on this. When you do finally land a job, early hours won’t be as much of a shock.

Networking will not necessarily save you. I had people working in my favor inside many different companies and it came to nothing. The job that I landed (and love) was a hire where I had no referral or contact. People like to hype up networking as the key to success, and I’m sure it is - once you’re in the industry. Networking works for some people, but I don’t believe it should be your focus or concentration. (This of course varies by what your career path is.) It’s all about volume: apply, apply, apply, apply. And then apply again.

Most of the time, you’re not going to hear back from an employer after you apply. That’s how it is now.

Don’t be ashamed to file for unemployment. These resources are there for a reason. You might as well take the opportunities (the few that are left) that the government has to offer. If you are actively trying to look for a job but cannot get one, there is no shame in asking for help from the people you pay taxes to and who in return provide services for people in need. The social contract goes both ways.

Be prepared for group interviews. These are happening more and more now. 75% of my interviews were with 2 or more people. Don’t let it put you off. In some ways, it’s easier to have a conversation when there are more voices in the room, and they are usually there to gauge chemistry more than they are to grill you (in my experience). And while I’m on the subject of interviews: cliche questions still occur, but many questions related to my experience and real-life scenarios on the job or in life. They want examples - times you stepped up, times where you might have failed but bounced back, times you showed leadership. Have stories ready. Yes, sometimes I’d get an occasional “What’s your favorite hobby?” or “What are your strengths and weaknesses?” and you should have answers ready for those. But lately the trend is about showing them you are a good fit for the job, rather than summing yourself up in three words.

It’s really hard to get a government job. They take forever to get back to you. They typically hire internally. It sucks. USAJOBS is a pain. You should know this ahead of time.

There will be bad days. There will be bad weeks. There might be bad months. Keep applying.

You will be tested. Quite literally. For almost every job that I got a response from, I was required to take further action, and sometimes in multiple phases, before an interview was even set up. Companies are being really choosy right now because they know they can. It’s disheartening, but it’s best if you are rid of the illusion that you stop taking tests after college. I had to take actual exams, write multiple-page projects, do short quizzes, come up with proposal ideas, and fill out interview questions all before I spoke to someone. It’s frustrating but also the reality that I faced.

Sometimes you have to play the game. You should get a LinkedIn account and monitor your social media. Employers do want to see an online presence of some kind. LinkedIn is a “respectable” way of doing it, and keeping your social accounts relatively clean is the best way to go. (Coded language for “hide your tumblr”? Perhaps.)

A lot of the time, rejection really isn’t that personal. There are so many other factors at play. It’s almost impossible to believe that, and a part of me still feels that it is personal, and I’m not sure if I’ll ever think otherwise, but I know logically that isn’t true. I have heard from hiring managers and HR people that job listings have to be posted even if the vacancy is planned from the start to be filled internally. This. Happens. Too. Often. To. Count. Also, the job market is FLOODED. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. It’s rough. It really is. The competition is fierce. It isn’t necessarily about you. But it still stings.

Try not to beat yourself up if there are days where you don’t apply for jobs. No one is perfect. You can have a break. Binge watch Orphan Black but come back to your search. Don’t follow the rabbit too far.

Don’t follow a resume template. This is a tough one and hard to really delve into in this setting, as it is so unique to every person. It takes work and oftentimes a guiding hand to get a great resume. I’ve had multiple hiring managers and a career counselor tell me that when they see a cover letter that looks different from the rest, they are immediately interested. Use segments, boxes, and graphics rather than a linear, wordy timeline of your employment and education history. You’re more likely to get interviews if you use a narrative rather than bullet points and facts. Describe your experience and accomplishments in concise, substantive language (no filler!), and highlight your technological and practical skill set in a section all its own. (Computer programs/coding, web design, media production, and writing/communication are all good things to emphasize if they apply to you.)

Use your college resources: your professors. I got a freelance research project from a professor I had a deep connection with, and used others as a support system during hard times. Some places have good Career Centers (mine didn’t), and others have alumni or honor society job networks. I personally don’t have any experience with those so I don’t know how effective they are, but I can attest that bonding and having communication with various professors in your field is psychologically and sometimes monetarily rewarding, and might help more than you think in the short and long term. There’s more incentive than a good grade when it comes to befriending your teacher.

Don’t stay in the house for longer than three days at a time. It’s obviously not a hard and fast rule, but things got really tough for me after that length of time without either being in the light or being around people. It might be really hard, but try to get out at least every few days in some capacity. Long-term unemployment is rife with apathy and entropy, and succumbing is not difficult in that environment. If you can, get out.

My best experiences came from Craigslist. Real, legitimate corporations advertise there, and I got many interviews from respectable places via Craigslist. I highly recommend it. I ended up getting my current job, however, through its website (I work at a theatre). I also got some responses that way, too: going to the websites of individual places you want to work and browsing their Employment section. Also, consider freelancing, package delivery, tutoring, substitute teaching, and other part-time gigs while you look for something permanent and full-time.

In between applying for jobs (which itself should be your full-time job), read that long book series you’ve been wanting to get to forever. Start - and finish - that cleaning project you’ve been putting off for years. Go through your home and donate anything you don’t need to Goodwill or local homeless/battered women shelters. Write that poem or novel that’s been in your head for a decade. Go for the 7-minute mile. If there’s something that’s been on your mind, now is the time to do it. Create. Organize. Contribute.

[ Also if you got this far, thank you for reading!! ]

#my life

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impatient14 · 8 years

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The Space-Time Continuum In BBC’s Sherlock

Disclaimer: The math and science of this post could get complicated for some, but it is REALLY important if you want to grasp what I think is happening on the show right now. I am going to try to explain things the best way I know how, but, if you have questions or want me to break it down further, my inbox is always open.

Let me start by giving you a little hook to bait you into reading some seriously complex stuff:

In 1895, H.G. Wells in his novel, The Time Machine, wrote, “There is no difference between Time and any of the three dimensions of Space except that our consciousness moves along it”. He added, “Scientific people…know very well that Time is only a kind of Space” (x)

So in a book published in our favorite year, written by a man who was reportedly very sexually progressive and extremely unsatisfied by the numerous female partners he accumulated over his years (x), we have the idea that time, something the Sherlock fandom has been obsessing over the last several weeks (years), is only a kind of space…

Interesting.

Get your pencils and notebooks out, because we are going back to school under the cut.

Before I start I want to give you a little background about why I started looking into this. It was because of this:

I did a short meta about this picture called TRF is a Red Herring, which I still stand by, but the matrix that represents Minkoswki’s Metric, or the matrix that represents the Space-Time Continuum, got me thinking. It is possible that the entire notebook is a red herring, but it is possible that only pieces of it are, or everything but one thing is.

With how hard we’ve been speculating about time, I felt this clue was worth a closer look, given it is one of the only pieces of evidence given to us about time.

So without further ado, a brief introduction to The Space-Time Continuum.

The Space- Time Continuum (theorized by Hermann Minkoswki) is the idea that time and space exist in a four dimensional model, where space takes up three of the dimensions (x, y, & z) and time takes up the fourth (t). It is extremely difficult to visualize four dimensions, especially when accounting for motion of an object. As an example, imagine bouncing a ball down the t (time) axis. You wouldn’t say the ball has a position of (x,y, z) at this time (t), you’d say the ball exists at (x,y,z,t). At any given point, you could see the ball bounce along x, y, or z (space) axis, but the trajectory of the ball is at a curve, it exists all at once in space-time.

If the table is the time axis (t), and each position of the ball is another variable in space (x,y,z) , we wouldn’t separate the time from space because they exist all together in one space-time.

When you add in an observer to the space-time continuum, the model starts to look something like this:

From the prospective of the observer (which is important for our application to Sherlock), we have a subdivision of the space-time continuum which breaks an event into four disjointed sets. The Light cone, The Absolute Future, The Absolute Past, and Elsewhere (Sard. R.D).

The light cone is the most complicated thing that I’ll need to explain, but unfortunately it is also the most important. So, take each thing slowly, digest it, then move on. I will have to work up to the definition of Light Cone through other definitions.

First, A Vector. A vector is a quantity that has both direction and magnitude (meaning an object that has mathematical size, i.e. it’s a number), helpful in determining the position of one point in space relative to another. So basically (for our purposes), a vector is the numerical sum of the physical position of a particular event, in relation to other events, as they occur in the same space.

A Null Vector is a vector that has a magnitude equal to zero, which means it can have either NO direction or ANY direction. Which essentially means its an event that can go nowhere or anywhere.

Finally, The Light Cone of an event is composed of ALL the Null Vectors of that event. However, when we factor in time, as in, we choose a time for the event to occur, The Null Vectors are classified thusly:

Zero vectors, Future-directed Null Vectors, and Past- Directed Null Vectors. But we also introduce something called Timelike Vectors which are broken into two types: future-directed timelike vectors whose first component is positive, (tip of vector located in absolute future in the figure above) and past-directed timelike vectors whose first component is negative (absolute past). A timelike vector connects two events that are causally connected, (ex. Sherlock receives the deerstalker as a present. Sherlock throws the deerstalker across the room. Two events, casually connected)

To oversimplify this a bit, this is all a long winded way of accounting for the point in time when the event occurs (zero), and the events that occurred before (past) and the events that will occur after (future). The absolute values in the timelike vectors are the total sum of all future and past events. The Absolute Future and The Absolute Past.

So, what is Elsewhere? Elsewhere, the fourth component of a broken down event from an observers point of view, is composed of something called spacelike vectors, which are represented by the idea that separated events are connected by vectors requiring faster-than-light travel, and so cannot possibly influence each other. Basically, a spacelike vector connects two events that are causally disconnected. An example would be John reads the newspaper in the morning and John chins the chief in the evening.

So with those four attributes, Light Cone, Absolute Future, Absolute Past, and Elsewhere, we have the space-time continuum of an event as witnessed by an observer. The Light Cone being the point zero for the event and the events that occur just before and just after, The Absolute Future being the sum of all future events from point zero, The Absolute Past being the sum of all past events from point zero, and Elsewhere, all of the events within this space-time continuum that cannot be directly connected to the event taking place at point zero.

With me so far?

So, what is the event we are dissecting here and who is the observer? Well, we are dissecting the same event thats been dissected over and over since the moment it aired. The Fall. And the observer? You may think it’s John, but its actually Sherlock. Everything is about Sherlock.

This is a good place for me to stop and remind everyone about the lovely idea of Extended Mind Palace, which is theory that at some point in Sherlock’s timeline he entered his Mind Palace to calculate the potential outcome of whatever decision he wants to make.

He tells us he believes himself capable of telling the future this way in The Six Thatchers:

SHERLOCK (TST): The world is woven from billions of lives, every strand crossing every other. What we call premonition is just movement of the web. If you could attenuate to every strand of quivering data, the future would be entirely calculable, as inevitable as mathematics.

SHERLOCK (TST): An advanced grasp of the mathematics of probability mapped onto a thorough apprehension of human psychology and the known dispositions of any given individual can reduce the number of variables considerably. I myself know of at least fifty-eight techniques to refine this seemingly infinite array of randomly generated possibilities down to the smallest number of feasible variables.

And he alludes to everything we are seeing being a construct of his mind in The Lying Detective:

SHERLOCK (looking towards the ceiling): Really? I correctly anticipated the responses of people I know well to scenarios I devised? Can’t everyone do that?

The origination point of when EMP begins varies from person to person, and sometimes from day to day if you’re talking to me, but for the sake of this meta, I will say that the origination point of Sherlock’s EMP would be in The Reichenbach Falls before he meets Moriarty on the roof. That would mean everything we’ve seen since then has been a mind palace exercise of Sherlock’s.

Now, lets put some of the definitions we learned to use and apply them to the show.

For the null vectors, Sherlock has the option to go in NO direction (i.e- do nothing) or ANY direction. As we know, we didn’t see Sherlock choose to do nothing. We saw him make a choice out of many- He chose ANY direction over than NO direction. He said so himself in The Empty Hearse.

SHERLOCK: I calculated that there were thirteen possibilities once I’d invited Moriarty onto the roof. I wanted to avoid dying if at all possible. (x)

Notice the phrasing there. Sherlock calculated the possibilities once he had already invited Moriarty on to the roof, but not when he actually stepped out onto the roof, which would mean that we saw at the end of TRF, is most likely a mind palace sequence. Remember, the point of the MP exercise is for Sherlock to figure out how to defeat Moriarty, while avoiding dying himself.

The future-directed null vectors of the fall after he goes in ANY direction are thus: Faking his suicide in a number of ways (TEH), Letting John in and trust him with his feelings so they can defeat the baddie together (TSoT), or kill Moriarty point blank- say, shooting him in the head (HLV).

Here is where things get even more interesting and we get to read a little into Eistein’s Theory of Relativity. (Interesting side note: Minkowski was Einstein’s mentor/teacher and Einstein extrapolated his theory from the work Minkowski already had done on the theory of the space-time continuum)

Einstein rejected the idea that time was linear.

“Since there exists in this four dimensional structure [space-time] no longer any sections which represent “now” objectively, the concepts of happening and becoming are indeed not completely suspended, but yet complicated. It appears therefore more natural to think of physical reality as a four dimensional existence, instead of, as hitherto, the evolution of a three dimensional existence…for us physicists believe the separation between past, present, and future is only an illusion, although a convincing one.“

We have struggled as a fandom to understand the countless references to time, clocks, and watches and I think this is why. Time is so very difficult to understand because it does not operate singularly. It exists all at once, or at least, that is what Einstein’s theory purposes.

So, going back to Sherlock, After His Last Vow, we got The Abominable Bride and Sherlock was, “A man out of his time.”

Sure, this is just a nice piece of prose, but it is also literal. Sherlock ran through the null vectors of choosing ANY direction and it didn’t work. He has to start over. Cue, TAB and all of its parallels to the entirety of BBC’s Sherlock. It’s a clean slate. You’ll notice that in this clean-slate version, he has himself do all three of the failed future-directed null vectors- He jumps, but he also defeats Moriarty, but he only does so with John by his side. The Absolute Future. TAB really is a stand alone episode, serving to wipe the slate clean but also drive home the parallels and symbolism that we are supposed to be picking up on through the show. Series 4 looks like at TAB roadmap because Sherlock was successful in TAB and he is applying what knowlege he gained from it, to the current null vector.

Now we get to The Six Thatchers, where Sherlock is now considered to back to Null Vector Zero, or the point where he must choose between ANY direction and NO direction. He chose ANY direction before, so this time he chooses NO direction. He does nothing. He waits for Moriarty to come to him. Targets wait.

Now, since time is not linear and it occurs concurrently within Sherlock’s mind, a mind that is now far too deep within itself:

(TAB)

MYCROFT HOLMES : You’re in deep, Sherlock, deeper than you ever intended to be. Did you make a list? HOLMES: Of what? MYCROFT HOLMES: Everything. We will need a list. MYCROFT HOLMES: Good boy. HOLMES: No. I haven’t finished yet. MYCROFT HOLMES: Moriarty may beg to differ. (Holmes sighs sharply.) HOLMES: He’s trying to distract me, to derail me.

(TLD)

SHERLOCK(TLD): I’m at the bottom of a pit and I’m still falling and … (he shakes his head and clenches his eyes closed) … I’m never climbing out.

Sherlock’s mind is breaking down with every string he pulls at in the web of his own mind. And since time is not linear, time begins to fold in on itself within Sherlock’s mind. That’s why we have so many reused lines and cases, blatant parallels to people and things that have already happened. The Absolute Past is being layered onto the current projection of Sherlock’s future. This List is a very good collection of that.

What’s interesting too, is that due to the events of TST and TLD, we are sufficiently distracted or derailed from the Moriarty story line. When you think about it, Sherlock’s plan to wait for Moriarty DOES work. Eurus comes to him, makes the first move, seeks him out. She targets John, but because its not real, it was only a tranquilizer gun and John survives. They run through the jigsaw house, Sherlock’s mind becoming more and more fractured and further displaced from reality the deeper he goes- but he does defeat the bad guy. How? Love. Familial love. Perhaps this is a nod to Sherlock figuring out about Mycroft’s involvement with Moriarty…

Now, you may be asking yourself, what about Mary? She just never existed? No. She didn’t. She was a construct, a parallel to Sherlock that Sherlock’s mind created to work through his feelings for John. That is why her story line never made sense and it’s why she had to die. She doesn’t exist. Sherlock can’t wake up with a loose thread in the reality he created. All of the plot holes in Series Four and even going back to His last Vow can be explained by the slow degradation of Sherlock’s mind, but also by him just ignoring the things that he doesn’t find important in the grand scheme. He has to delete somethings. These pieces of data can be considered the spacelike vectors and the Elsewhere attributes of the space-time continuum. There are both the things that are casually disconnected to the event and the things are impossible to connect to the event. Mary was important, though. She was the part of Sherlock that was secretive and had a dark past- and he got rid of her. Foreshadowing his intention to share and be honest with someone in the future. We see his more openness after Mary’s death in The Lying Detective. Sherlock is raw in that episode, very emotionally vulnerable. The hug was- well, it was exquisite. Here, have another look, you know you want to…

youtube

Where was I? Sorry…I blacked out…

So, if we know that time does not exist in a straight line, but can fold and twist, stretch out and fold again, we can then understand that throughout the third and fourth Series, Sherlock has pushed time out as if it were a straight line, twisting the details and facts of the events in space, while simultaneously folding time over on itself. In his own complicated and convoluted way, he is working his way back to the beginning. Back to the original Zero- Null Vector point. His confrontation with Moriarty in The Reichenbach Falls.

Think back to where he was then. He had John as his colleague, his “helpmate”, his best friend. That is where they are again in Sherlock’s EMP exercise, so we can expect for him to wake up soon and apply the knowledge he learned.

What did he learn?

That he needs John by his side; that he can’t take Moriarty on alone. Doing so will lead to literal or emotional death. He learned that if he and John are together and not emotionally distant, Moriarty won’t have a chance to send in a Wind Monster to shoot John with a tranquilizer dart. He learned that murdering Moriarty was out of the question and he also learned that his brother is most likely involved with Moriarty. Finally, and most importantly, he learned that John loves him and he learned the true depths of his love for John.

So, I hope you were able to follow along. I do have a science background, but I am not a mathematician or physicist. Any and all corrections are welcome! All transcripts were from Ariane DeVere. Thank you!!

EDIT TO ADD: Check out Part II of this Meta Here!

#sherlock #tjlc #johnlock #meta #science #space-time continuum #theory of relativity #emp #TRF

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