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tobiosmilktea · 4 years ago

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the love club — miya atsumu

twenty six: the spectacular now

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a/n: thank you all so much for sticking around and watching tlc grow! this smau turned out to be more popular than i thought and i’m so glad for all the support! there were times where i was stuck on the plot and genuinely thought of putting this smau on hiatus,, but i’m glad i pushed through and didn’t. reading each and every one of your comments and reblogs made making this smau really fun. tysm 🥰

also the ‘read more’ link is making this post super glitchy and repeating paragraphs for no reason 😔😔

(continuation of the convos last chap cause i couldn’t fit it in lmao)

atsumu’s chest heavy feeling upon arriving at the last and final train station in tokyo filled him with unnecessary unease. an abundance of worry had crashed upon him in a blasting flurry that even the early onset heat of japan in the spring was the last thing on his mind to complain about.

there were many things that could go wrong with such a flawed plan birthed from suna’s spontaneity. for one, you could very well reject atsumu the moment he finally came into your reach (this was the worse case scenario for him) and it could honestly evolve into something worse knowing his parents would beat his ass if they were to find out he took this trip with nothing but his phone, wallet, his brother, and a friend.

yet at this point, he had nothing to lose.

he was already in tokyo and wasted half his day coming all this way, there was definitely no point in going back and have all his efforts go to waste. if anything, you were atsumu’s pushing force, the strong current that pulled him along with the tides just to see you. he only needed one reason and that one reason was you.

a weary sigh emitted from his lips as osamu’s patted his brother’s shoulder with his free hand whilst the other was carrying a picnic basket. call it twin telepathy or just being plain observant, but the cacophony of atsumu’s erratic thoughts were evident upon his expression for osamu to notice. hell, even a random stranger with half a brain cell would know that the setter was going through some internalized anxiety.

this was osamu’s only way of comforting him as the only thing that would completely wash away atsumu’s fear was for you to take him back.

the feeling of dread didn’t cease for atsumu as it continued in a raging downpour on the way to the convention center in shibuya. the event had already started hours ago and the boys had no idea where to find you—not even kita who was great at taking the lead—he was captain after all.

by the time the four volleyball players entered the largely crowded convention center, they had no other choice but to breathe out their hopes in finding you in the midst of chaos.

“alright, the plan is...” kita huffs as his eyes scanned the bustling crowds that messily serpentined through booths. his gaze met back to the boys who surrounded him with intent written to their faces. a bittersweet smile melted upon his lips as it reminded him of giving pep talks right before games... no doubt he was going to miss it.

“i suggest we split up and find her,” osamu adds in first.

kita shakes his head, “this place is gigantic, it’ll take ages for us to even call and find each other if we do.”

“or i could steal a mic from somewhere and pretend y/n’s a lost child or something...”

“we’re not doing that, suna.”

“damn,” he sighs as he looked down in faux defeat.

a shaky sigh left atsumu’s lips again, “let’s just stick together and try and find her.”

with that the four of them delved into the crowd.

the convention center was certainly bigger than atsumu thought, and he certainly didn't remember the walk from the entrance of the event up towards the dense middle area where he was right now. perhaps it was the simmering and leftover fervor upon entering that his mind was too clouded to even know where he was going. at this point, he wasn't even trying to find you anymore, instead, he wandered the labyrinthine array of booths in self-indulgence until each turn appeared the same and he was back to the same spot he started.

where were you?

atsumu was at the cusp of giving up. even osamu who was supporting him the entire time was starting to complain. with the aching in his arm from carrying a heavy picnic basket of all the foods he made for you and his brother was weighing him back. even suna who was carrying the picnic blanket was sweating just by holding it.

“guys,” the setter sighs in defeat. “i think we should call it a day and—”

suddenly a hand wrapped around his bicep, pulling him aback and capturing his attention. atsumu whips his head around only to look down upon a familiar face. a face that filled him with constant warmth and caused his heart to immediately quicken by the millisecond.

it was sudden. too sudden for you to even comprehend that the moment you spotted atsumu’s familiar figure looming over in the crowd, it was game over for you. your legs started walking by themselves as if they were being controlled by your heart rather than your head.

it wasn’t like you to do this, anyway—this confrontation. if anything, you were the type to pretend you didn’t see atsumu’s face, to turn back around into the crowd and act as if nothing had happened. but there was this aching in your chest, an abundance of tightness until it squeezed every last bi of unspoken truths out of your lungs.

was it guilt, sadnass, or anger? love?

you weren’t entirely sure, yet its dissonance couldn’t be ignored. even if you did try and avoid atsumu, you’d end up right in front of him either way.

“what are you doing here?” you asked, the tone in your voice and even to your expression was unreadable to atsumu.

he had no idea if you were excited to see him or if you were completely shocked and wanted him to leave immediately.

atsumu hoped it was the former.

“i–um...” he tried forming the words upon his tongue, but his thoughts were moving too fast for him to even comprehend what he was going to say to you.

hell, he even rehearsed what to say for this exact moment the entire train ride here to tokyo, yet he was completely slipping up.

his usual confidence and somewhat cocky attitude was nowhere to be seen. and it’s even crazy to think that you’re the only one who can make him act this way.

your grip on his upper arm tightened by the slightest bit when atsumu didn’t answer, “i’m about to present, tsumu, i don’t have enough time...”

tsumu?

you still call him that? even after all that happened?

if only he could just melt into your arms right then and there. he was so close to finally alleviating that yearn, but your comforting warmth left his body the moment you let him go.

“i’m here to apologize.” he swiftly answers as you were about to turn your heel, “...even though i’m three weeks late.”

your eyebrows furrow slightly as you teetered your weight back in forth, your nerves building up. atsumu hadn’t seen you do that since your project presentation together. “i should be apologizing too,” you sighed with instantaneous releif coursing through atsumu’s body, “but now’s honestly not a good time.”

“i know, but matsui told me that you might be moving away this summer and i wanted to see you.”

you swallowed the lump in your throat, cursing to yourself as you felt the sudden influx of crimson blush swearing from your cheeks to the edges of your ears. “so you came all this way?” your voice was a bit shakey.

could he tell you were nervous?

“only because i like you... still”

yup... he could definitely tell.

maybe that slight pinch awkwardness between the two of you was more beneficial that you thought. from the sheepish smiles and stolen glances, it eased you to your surprise. “i can’t believe i have feelings for an idiot.”

atsumu hums in amusement, eyes lighting up when he saw that familiar smirk on your face. “are they good feelings?”

“of course they are,” you scoffed, “why? would you rather have me back to hating you?”

the boy before you shakes his head. “no, i like it this way,” he mutters before pulling you into his chest without a second thought.

it was overwhelming. from how his much broader and taller body embraced you in such familiar warmth to even his scent of honey and mocha. despite being miles away from hyogo, it was atsumu who reminded you of home.

this was nice considering you weren’t exactly planning on forgiving him so easily. perhaps it was the way the moment you spotted his familiar blond undercut in the crowd he towered over caused a switch in your brain to flip. perhaps you miss the way he was right beside you almost everyday.

perhaps you couldn’t keep your distance from him anymore.

pulling yourself out of the hug, your eyes flicker over to a trio of volleyball players standing a good six feet away away from you two. their shoulders basically touched as they all gave you a smile and a wave.

eventually, your eyes dropped to picnic basket in osamu’s hands and the blanket draped over suna’s shoulders.

a slight chuckle emits from you lips, “what’s up with them?” you asked atsumu.

his head turns over his shoulder before looking back down at you. his arms still lingered around your waist as he hesitated to even let you go again. “remember back when we had our date during nationals, we visited the park?”

“so it was a date?” you almost explained.

“it thought it was,” atsumu shrugs, “we saw a couple on a picnic date and you thought it was cute so i figured we could go on one.”

“and you remembered that?” you questioned as you arched a brow towards him.

“every single detail.”

atsumu didn’t have to ask you to go on this date with him. at least at this point, he’d know you would’ve said yes. like what kind of person would reject a date from the love of their life who traveled five hours just for them?

only a idiot would and you were certainly not an idiot... not right now at least.

a saccharine-sweet smile appeared upon your lips as you looked back towards atsumu, “i’m free after six o’clock. you think you guys could stick around for a few more hours?”

“if that’s a chance to meet chef suzuno and eat dessert, then yes.” cut in osamu the moment you asked.

you and atsumu weren’t exactly in the most private of places, so but it wasn’t like you two cared at this point.

suna clears his throat, “um, my parents don’t even know im in tokyo right now, so if i get murdered tonight that’s on you guys.”

“either way, i gotta get home. i have to pack before the weekend ends.” kita adds as he pats suna’s shoulders, “which means you’re coming back to hyogo with me. (y/n) and the twins can take care of themselves.”

“but—!” suna tried to retaliate but was pushed back into the crowd and disappeared to go home.

you sighed in amusement before turning your attention back to atsumu.

“i have to go, now.”

atsumu nods, “samu and i will walk around then before watching your presentation.” he explains but as he was turning over his shoulder, you captured his arm again.

you planted a kiss on his lips. it was much softer than it looked and for a second the commotion around you two seemed to slow.

it felt like it took ages for atsumu to feel your lips against his, but the wait was worth it. his entire plan that ended up failing was worth it. the five hours of his ass hurting from sitting on the train seats was worth it. finding you within this impossible crowd was worth it. you were worth it—more than anything.

osamu fake gagged as he looked at you and atsumu in disgust, “can you two not make out in front of the cupcake display?”

fun facts! —

after the event ended, atsumu and y/n went on that picnic date just in time for sunset while osamu waited awkwardly by the swings

in the end, y/n moved to tokyo after being well liked by chef suzuno

the twins helped y/n pack and osamu even had to pull atsumu off of her cause he wouldn’t let her go 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

because of the long distance, atsumu and y/n go on minecraft dates cause theyre quirky

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu smau #haikyuu x reader #atsumu x reader #atsumu smau #atsumu imagines #atsumu scenarios #atsumu miya #miya atsumu #atsumu fluff

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hlupdate · 5 years ago

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Louis on the Zach Sang Show

Friends back home still call him Lewis (because he hated it as a kid) and it went back to Louis after he was called that at xfactor auditions

Talks about having to stick to himself and be “confident and brave” for Walls and his solo career

Became a perfectionist about writing when he went solo

Learned how to try and be a bit more professional (”meetings with suits”) and about the business from One Direction

Talks about building confidence and becoming a better writer

“everybody is incredible to work with..well (eyebrow raise) most people”

Usually goes into the writing room with a concept/idea in his head, works out melody, and then lyrics

Kill My Mind was written as a statement of intent musically

KMM is one of the best moments on the album, one of Louis’ favorite songs

KMM is a progression, doesn’t want to put a lot of similar type on the album

Tries to blur/find a balance between what he loves and what the fans love

Zach got a box of m&ms with Louis’ face on them from fans for promo

KMM is probably closest to brit pop

Thinks rock isn’t dead “as long as Liam Gallagher is around”

Can’t identify with the urban leaning pop radio, so went back to his roots of the music he listened to growing up

Felt like he’s been swimming against the tide [trying to go against pop radio], but thinks it’ll be worth it

Talks about the indie bar in Doncaster that was all you can drink

Talks about going to Glastonbury this past year

Writing Two of Us made him really proud of the work he does

Talks about talking to a fan in Madrid about TOU and her dad

TOU is one of his proudest achievements

not nervous writing TOU, but about the responsibility of writing the song because of how much it meant to him

“I’m quite British right....and i see a wall as a wall”

Only felt “underestimated or underrated” in 1D before he started songwriting

He started the interest in the band for songwriting

Didn’t look back after writing 10 of 14 songs on Midnight Memories, found his identity from that

Thought he was just going to be a writer after 1D, but was demo-ing with his vocals and thought he might try

Tried to write the album telling a story

As chronological as possible, narrative listening top to bottom

wrote 100 songs for the album

talks about how well he connected to Jamie Hartman, how well Jamie understood him and who he wanted to be

If KMM is a statement of intent, WMI is a nice transition for the fans WMI is a good advert for the album, but wants to end up closer to KMM

Louis sent Liam Payne a song that Louis wrote and thought would be good for him and Liam never responded “that little shit”

Zach made a joke about Liam and Louis said laughed and said “don’t be a cunt”

Thinks there is less judgement on US radio, more snobbery on UK radio

Talk about UK radio stations

Zach talks about how 1D changed his life

talks about 1D being truthful and not wanting to bullshit and be like the “coordinated” bands, pretending to be perfect

talks about how the message of fans seeing their mistakes, seeing that they're real is important

they always wanted to be relatable to the fans

wasn't ready for 1D to be over, decided to do a solo career with choosing to do the xfactor performance with JHO and Steve Aoki

last tour show was when it fully hit him that 1D was going to break

has 20 minutes of footage of timelapse of the dressing rooms on the last day of tour “pretty heavy day”

spent time after 1D ended with family and on holiday before JHO

talks about looking forward to going on tour and seeing what lyrics mean to different fans and fans’ reactions

“I have a feeling we’re going to get this rock type album from you” “it’s coming”

Listened to the album top to bottom the other day

Doing what he loves and go on the road is how he defines success

Opinion of success has changed since going solo from 1D, means more to him now

Never gets tired of talking about 1D

“It is a break!” about 1D being on hiatus

Talks about his connection to Liam, even though they didn’t get on right away at the beginning

He doesn’t think him or Zayn are mature enough to reconnect, Louis isn’t ready to have that conversation

Doesn’t know if he thinks that everything happens for a reason

Talks about “don’t know why they put all of that on us” and “singing something pop-y” lines - “there was a lot of stress on us, but i think we did all right” and about all the work and everything they did during 1D days

“this has been a good interview man, deep”

wanted to be a professional football player once he got into footie around 10

changed to music when he got into oasis

talks about Noel and Liam Gallagher and Noel’s comments about 1D

Noel is credited on “Walls” the song because a part of it sounds similar, and management needed to credit him for publishing (Louis wanted to risk it)

Doesn’t regret releasing JHO or BTY

Easiest option getting into solo career was to go with radio trend, dance pop

Was an important part of his story

Zach first interview 1D at the Big Time Rush premiere, it changed his life

“You all did charity work by going to their movie premiere” Zach telling the story about 1D being at Big Time Rush’s premiere and all the fans leaving after 1D’s performances on the BTR tour

Louis doesn’t know if Ireland is part of the UK (he got an F in geography)

Louis does an impression of Niall

#we'll continue to update this and will reblog it again at the end!#some of these are out of order sorry!#louis tomlinson #zach sang #301019

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twdmusicboxmystery · 4 years ago

Note

IRON-E SINGLETON JUST RETWEETED AN ARTICLE THAT CONFIRMS HIM AND EMILY ARE IN THE EXTRA EPISODES

Lol. Thanks to everyone who messaged and/or sent this in to me. Twitter might have been blowing up but so were all my inboxes and DMs. I love it!

It’s so funny that this came out yesterday. I’d just had this massive lightbulb moment about TWB (which I know I haven’t shared with you yet, but I will later tonight). And of course there’s all the promo and SM attention Emily/Beth has been getting. Suddenly making sense, right?

So the biggest thing I want you all to take away from this is that TD is simply right about stuff. I know this suggests that she’ll be shown in flashbacks and it will probably make it look like she did, indeed, die. I’ll address that in a minute.

But put that aside for a moment and keep in mind that we’ve been pointing out all this social media weirdness for a year. (Well, technically for 5 years, but they’ve REALLY stepped it up over the past 12 months.) And now, low and behold, she’s returning to the show in some capacity. So don’t ever let anyone convince you that TD is reading too much into things. This is proof that we’re not.

And I’ve been saying that it didn’t take them as long as it should have to film these bonus episodes. That’s because at least SOME of the footage they’re using was shot a long time ago.

And I still get lots of concerned messages about how Emily hasn’t been seen on set. I maintain that she could easily be there and remain unseen. But since these are flashbacks, probably the missing scenes from S5, she doesn’t HAVE to have been on set to appear on the show. And I’ve been saying THAT for close to 6 years.

It’s also quite convenient that the spoiler site closed down RIGHT before these episodes. Yes, it’s been months since they closed down, but they couldn’t have predicted CoVid any more than anyone else. The point is, they closed down right before the episodes that Beth would have been in were supposed to air.

My point is that everything we’ve been saying is now being confirmed.

And as for Beth being “dead” in the flashbacks, I’m absolutely positive that what we’ll see is the missing 17 days and what happened to Beth’s body. Norman reposting the white church I talked about yesterday is proof of that.

Because Daryl is not yet aware that Beth is alive at this point in the story (in S10, I mean), of course it will end with how he lost her.

But here’s the thing. Let’s say, just for kicks, that she really did die and isn’t going to be shown as alive at some point in the show. Ask yourself something:

Why would they need to wait 5 years to show us what went down after Coda?

They wouldn’t. It makes no sense form a logistical and story telling standpoint to wait 5 years to tell us what we already know. It has to be leading somewhere.

TWD often skips over events and then comes back later and shows them to us. Sometimes these are big events. Other times, they’re very small. But there’s always a reason for it.

So what do I think will happen?

I think we’ll have these flashbacks in the episode with Daryl and the cabin. It makes the most logical sense for them to be in that episode. But remember what I said yesterday: that the final of the 6 bonus episodes will air on Easter. I’m still super-side-eying that. I still think there’s a very good chance she’ll be revealed alive in that episode, even if it’s just in the final seconds.

Of course I can’t know that for sure. And if I’m wrong, and they only do the flashbacks showing her “death” and don’t show her being alive in these bonus episodes, I’m actually perfectly okay with that. Because all that will tell me is that she’ll probably show up in FTWD or TWB right afterward.

Either way, I think these episodes will give us a LOT of insight into what happened, and I don’t think TD will have to be convincing people anymore afterward.

It will probably be a lot like Glenn. It will “show” that a walker horde got Beth’s body, and that’s why Daryl and Maggie were so torn up about it. But guess what? They showed us that with Glenn in 6x03, too. And, well...

One other thing/possibility I want to point out, and then I’ll quit typing.

Me and my fellow theorists harped a lot during the CoVid hiatus about the fact that they didn’t air TWB. There was absolutely no reason for them not to. While I think a lot of these S10 bonus episodes were already filmed (Emily being in it and the scenes from S5 surely prove that) we also know that they have done SOME filming, which means the episodes weren’t entirely finished. Okay, fair enough.

But TWB was. Both seasons were finished and in the bag BEFORE everyone shut down down for CoVid. And of course any spinoff with new characters won’t be nearly as good or compelling as the main show with all the characters we love, but even so. It would have been something to air during the pandemic, when people were cooped up that would have kind of tided the audience over until the bonus episodes could be finished.

So why didn’t they? I mean, the final two episodes of S1 are on tonight and while they’re really good episodes, there’s not anything terribly groundbreaking in them, especially not for our core characters (Rick/Beth/Daryl/etc).

So why hold them back?

I honestly think this is why. This is still conjecture, of course, but I truly think there’s a good chance Rick and/or Beth will show up in the 2nd season of TWB. But before we saw that, we needed to see these bonus episodes with flashbacks to the missing 17 days so the audience would understand how and why she survived.

That’s why they held everything back. So basically, everything we’ve said is being confirmed and falling into place just beautifully. 2020 may have sucked, but 2021 is going to be a great year for TD!

Xoxo! 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

#beth greene #beth greene lives #beth is alive #beth is coming #td theory #td theories #team delusional #team defiance #beth is almost here #bethyl

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who-is-olivia · 5 years ago

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Side A, Track 2. Watermelon Sugar

Harry Styles x OC

Harry and Olivia enjoy vacation in a remote beach house and decide to experiment. [3.4k]

Genre: smut

Warnings: sexual language, substance abuse

January 2016

Olivia drives back to their beach hideout, about an hour away from a city in the outskirts of Rio de Janeiro. She went shopping for groceries, mainly fruits she was dying to eat while they were living in paradise. One Direction just announced the hiatus and Harry needed a break from the spotlight. For the first time in years he has a blank schedule, so she booked them an intimate trip near a city she used to visit when she was younger. They spend the days in a private beach, go to the town center for shopping and eating then return to their hideout. It’s a perfect little paradise.

She walks into the cabin in the sand, the sun is a couple hours from setting and the shore is starting to retreat. Inside, the AC is at the coldest trying to compensate for the summer heat. Down the hall through an open door she finds Harry sleeping soundly at their bed, his naked chest breathing slowly, relaxed.

She drops the grocery bags in the kitchen isle and tip toes to the bed, eager to bury herself on his tanned chest. His side of the bed sinks as she sits on the cushions and runs a hand over his navel and up to the swallows on his collarbones, he sighs and fusses but doesn’t wake up.

She goes for it again, taking particular interest in his butterfly tattoo, recalling the day it was done: she and Harry went to get small tattoos somewhere during the American tour, but he decided to get a massive butterfly in his stomach. He was fixated on that and she went along for the ride, getting a smaller version of the butterfly behind her elbow. Back then he said it would help cover his belly, little did he know few years ahead he’d grow into an Adonis. Not that he wasn’t handsome by then, but looking back they were almost children when they started to date, now they’ve grown into beautiful, successful individuals in their own rights and that passion never left.

She continues to tease him without much success. She leans and kisses his sternum, licking it up to his neck aching to taste his warm skin but he’s in too deep slumber to react other than a small groan.

“Hey” she whispers, kissing his cheekbone tenderly.

“You’re back already?”

“I brought you some things”

He rubs his eyes tiredly, that delicious summer feeling still running through him. The tanned skin slightly aching from hours beneath the sun, the freedom of having no appointments, no tasks, no worries... only miles of sand to his left and right and the ocean ahead disappearing in the horizon. Nobody to boss him around, only the company of his best friend and lover to please and be pleased by. “Hm?”

“You’ll see” she grins, giving up on this approach as he’s clearly not up to respond the way she desires, “I’ll be in the kitchen, whenever you’re up”

“Just five more minutes” he stretches lazily as she walks past the door.

The living area combining the kitchen and sitting room faces a glass pane where they can see the beach, and there Olivia watches the sky turn to beautiful shades of green, orange, lilac and pink. In summer, the sunset drags for hours, making every moment a different celestial watercolor.

She takes a couple of fruits from the grocery bags and a bottle of cachaça, a local kind of liquor that tastes a bit sweeter than vodka. While Harry gets up, she prepares a drink with ice and pieces of seedless watermelon. She throws some other stuff in for flavor, obtaining a pink drink that’s sweet and refreshing. At last, years working at Uncle Jim’s bar amounted to something.

Harry takes his dutiful time getting up and dragging his feet to the kitchen where he find Olivia with all sorts of fruits and drinks. He raises his brow and grins, “You’ve been busy”

“I got a bit carried away” she admits, taking a seat on the high stools of the kitchen isle. He sits beside her and grabs one of the glasses. “Cheers”

“Cheers, love” he clinks their glasses and sips. She waits for his reaction and is gladly surprised with an approving nod, “That’s so good”

She shrugs, “I knew you’d like it”

“Did you just made that up?” he sips again, welcoming the sweet taste of the cocktail.

“Yes, I did” she smiles proudly.

“What should we call it?”

“The Styles-Cooper Pink... Cocktail?” he shakes his head disappointed.

“You can do better than that”

“I don’t know, all the drinks I know were baptized like 50 years ago” she takes some more of it, “By the way, do you know how Cuba Libre got its name?”

“No, why?”

“‘Cause it’s an interesting story” he raises a brow indulgently and pulls her legs over his lap, “Cuba used to be a Spanish colony, and when it was time for it to gain its independence the United States fought alongside them. They had this saying: America for the Americans, which sounds like colonialist bullshit today-“

“Naturally”

“But back then the europeans were the big villains of the story, so it sounded like they were fighting for the American continent to be its own thing. Anyway, to celebrate the alliance that got Cuba free from Spain, they mixed an American drink with a Cuban one: coke and rum, Cuba Libre” she tells.

“Is this the kind of know-how you need to be a bartender?” he asks mockingly.

“Oh, yes of course”

“You passed all your exams for that-“

“With flying colors, asshole” she kicks his stomach away playfully.

“Still, can’t think of a name-”

“Wait! I got it!” she holds her hand up in suspense, “You’ve got watermelons, you’ve got cachaça – which is like, a byproduct of sugar –, how about... Watermelon Sugar?”

He nods in approval and she punches the air, “Brilliant”

Later, they lay together in a hammock watching the tides turn with dizzy heads. The sweet taste of their beverage masked how strong it actually was, so now they barely process up from down as the hammock swings.

“Haz” she slurs, “what’s that word for like, something you really like... sexually?”

“A kink?”

“That’s it!” she snaps and settles down satisfied with the answer, but still leaving him intrigued.

“... why do you ask?”

“I just had a grammatical curiosity”

“Bullshit”

She frowns, “No, I really just lost the word”

“Bull-shit” she giggles, turning her gaze away from him in annoyance. “You’ve got a kink you’re not telling me about” he encircles her waist, nuzzling her temple as the hammock presses their bodies together.

“It’s not that-” she tries to explain, but the words tangle in her mouth.

“Do you have a kink and you think it’s too weird for me? ‘Cause I’ve known you for a while, anything you might say will hardly shock me” he chuckles and she turns to face him.

“I wasn’t thinking about that, you creepy pervert... I was thinking about this” she touches the butterfly on his stomach, “when I first met you you barely had one tattoo and you also had a bit of a belly, now here we are... when did you get so fit?”

He chuckles, “Thanks, love”

“Don’t get me wrong, I was all about that baby fat life”

“You also changed”

“Not as much”

“But I noticed” he smiles to himself, only through appreciation he was able to observe the way her body changed and love every bit of it.

“Well, that’s what I was thinking about. You’ve always been sexy to me, even when you were eighteen and had not a trace of facial hair-“

“I still don’t”

“That’s not the point” she pinches his chin, “What I’m trying to say is that I always liked you, inside and out”

He smiles tenderly down at her, “It goes both ways, love”

She presses a sensuous kiss to his lips, but before she can make any other move he breaks it with a smirk.

“Do you have any kinks you’re not telling me?”

She huffs and rolls her eyes, “Fuck’s sake, you can get so annoying sometimes...”

“I’m just saying we’re alone in here miles away from civilization, it’s the perfect place to do something... unusual”

Olivia raises an eyebrow in suspicion, “I see... what is your secret kink, Mr. Styles?”

He fakes modesty, “If you insist, I’ve always wondered what it would be like to fuck out in the open. It could be on a beach, or a forest, anywhere cameras can’t reach...” he raises a brow. She bites her lip in curiosity, it sounds really inviting. “What ‘bout you? I think I know a few but I wanna make sure we’re on the same page”

“I got the usuals, but I think the one that turns me on the most is probably doing it while I’m high, like, mind-numbingly high”

“I’ve always wanted to know how that feels” he confesses.

“You know, we’re really, really far away from anyone... and I’ve got some hash...” he raises his brow in restrained excitement, “Why don’t we just... you know... get really crazy high and fuck on the beach?”

He snorts and laughs out loud at her crass phrasing, but immediately agrees.

She takes the hash from her purse and starts to roll a couple of blunts. While she’s at it, Harry tries to recreate her Watermelon Sugar, making himself an imperfect copy but good enough to drink. He holds his long hair up in a bun and sighs at the numbness already taking over his arms. He loves this sensation of being slightly out of touch with reality, every sensation feels a little stronger when stimulated. When he opens the fridge, the cold that hits him almost burns, then he takes a strawberry from the pot and bites it, feeling its acid nature clash with the sweetness and the crisp seeds cracking in his ears.

Outside, the sky assumes a stronger shade of pink, the few clouds that float away assume a salmon coloration while the sun refuses to set. The low tide stretches a few meters between the sand and the shallow, creating a long water mirror that reflects the changing colors of the sky. Olivia walks over it, daring to find where her heels will sink into the warm sea, boiled by the relentless summer sun. She lights the blunt and drags, her eyes following the horizon as the smoke escapes her lungs. Harry steps out of the cabin and takes in the sight, the strange comfort of being alone with her. The skyline warps before his disoriented eyes and he tumbles a few times in the unstable ground, but he keeps balance enough to reach the water mirror.

He holds Olivia by the waist and nuzzles her curly hair, taking in the sweet scent of coconut that remains after a bath. She turns in his embrace and rests her forehead against his, breathing him in and exhaling small traces of hash. Harry takes hold of both her thighs and pull her up to his lap, kissing her passionately. She cups his cheeks careful not to burn him and returns the kiss feeling her whole body numb except for where his touch connects them. They break the contact slowly so she takes a moment to pull once more, this time she breathes out in his lips so he can pull. When he’s done he captures her lips again, putting her down before taking the cigar from her hands.

He rests the blunt in his bottom lip while he unzips the back of her flowing dress, letting the piece of fabric slide down her shoulders, the curve of her breasts and the bump of her hips until it falls on the water and is washed away back to the sand. He pulls more of the hash and blows away from her face as she pulls him by the short ties. In his haze, he holds her chin and presses a smug kiss on her lips, his shorts falling down to his heels and joining her dress somewhere behind him.

Harry stumbles over her for a moment and she holds him steady, “Hey, are you ok?”

“I’m alright, promise” he hugs her upper body close, crushing her chest against his. She nods reassuringly and kisses him, supporting herself by his shoulders. His hands run up her sides, thumbs brushing gently against the side of her breasts smashes against his strong chest, sliding down to grasp a handful of her butt cheeks playfully. Harry’s kiss slip as he imagines what to do next, his dizzy mind undecided between sucking her nipples, kissing her stomach, licking her ear... “I wanna taste you” he nuzzles her temple, “everywhere”

“What are you waiting for?”

Harry smirks and drags his lips down her jaw and neck, peppering her collarbone and descending through her sternum and the valley of her breasts. He kneels before her belly, biting and tugging on the skin before pressing soothing kisses around her navel. Olivia feels like a tree swaying in the hot breeze, all her senses transcending as she feels the warmth between her legs spread and take over her spine. He pulls down her underwear and throws it away along with the rest of the blunt that burned near the filter.

He tugs the back of her knees, pressing her to kneel before him too so he can lay her down by the water mirror. The sky reflected around her spins in his sight, every trace of light invading his dilated pupils. He leans over her thighs and drags his mouth over inner side of that handful of flesh. Savoring her skin, he goes for the that purple aching nub in her center, capturing it between his lips and running his tongue over it teasingly. A goosebump runs over her and stays as his agile kisses cause her head to spin in pleasure. She’s taken over by that sensation every time he finds that small spot in her he loves so much, in any other context it would make her hips swing madly for friction but this high she can already feel that burn building up. When he suck on her clit it gets too much, she grasps his hair keeping him there, then he flicks on it running his tongue deliciously up and down inciting new and ecstatic sensations.

He pushes her thighs to part them wider and licks long stripes of her before sucking her harder than before, her back arches in delight, “Mhmm Haz... holy shit”, she cries. The tip of his tongue continues to hit that perfect spot that fires her whole body up and the first chills of her orgasm take over her. “Right there... right...” The last thing she sees is the fading line between the lilac and the green of the sky, then her eyes shut and it builds too much, her thighs clench and her whole body is taken by that incredible wave as if she instantaneously combusts. Afterwards, she descends like a feather on the wind, taking her time before returning to reality.

Harry feels her relaxing after clutching him between her legs and drags his kiss up to her chest, climbing over her as her heat irradiates to him. At the sudden change, he takes some time to get used to the overwhelming amount of stuff to take in. Olivia cradles him against her heaving chest and chuckles.

She strokes the hair out of his face, he’s definitely not used to it, “You’re tripping”

“Pff, no I’m not!” he dismisses.

“Alright! Suit yourself!”

She sighs, pressing his proud self closer to her chest. Despite the heat, it feels so good to have him this close, she loves him so much not even combustion could make her push him away.

Harry watches the sunset lulled by her hectic heartbeat slowly calming down. Even this low the sun still rages, there’s nothing like summer in Rio. “Come ‘ere”

He sits and helps her up, “Where’re we going?”

“The water”

They thread carefully over the small waves, sloping down to a point where the warm water reaches their waists. Harry never understood how enjoyable it is to spend the day in the sea until he met her, the way she chooses to enjoy her surroundings is a completely unique feeling. He pulls her legs around him once more and she hugs his neck as they both watch the beautiful horizon stretch for miles on end, resting their temples against each other. The sea is peaceful, small waves make him feel lightweight but to be fair he had been feeling like this since the first drink.

“Is this part of your kink or a completely different one?” she asks, turning to find his eyes. When the sun hits them, they turn to a beautiful light shade of green.

“Call it ‘outside kink part. 2’”

“This really turns you on?”

He looks around at the beautiful landscape and the loads of space meant just for them, no cameras, no agents, no coworkers, total privacy to do what he wants without having to hide, and total freedom to express his desire, “A lot”

She feels him poking her thighs and smirks, taking hold oh his length and stroking it teasingly. “I see...”

He has to clench himself not to cum in her hand, it feels like her every touch is more accentuated, like he’s more loosen to get this hard without a single restriction. She leans to kiss his soft spot as she holds his shaft against her clit and grinds against him, making his head spin madly. The wet sounds of her kiss near the shell of his ear, the friction between his legs, the hash breaking down his walls... it’s too much, he feels so good it should be criminal. “Oli...” he licks his lips dryly, desperate for any relief.

She ends his misery grinding a bit higher so he sinks inside her. They move together with the waves, rising and falling into each other in a delicious motion, their bodies so hot they could torch the sun. She turns so vulnerable in his arms, so willing as she whimpers softly, tugging strands of his hair until it falls from the bun and frames his face freely. Slowly, he feels his mind escaping almost as if he can see himself from the sun’s perspective, a small dot in the sea transcending in pleasure.

He returns only when he unleashes inside her, his heart calming down after such a wild experience. Oli leans back and floats with a relaxed giggle, her legs still clasped around his hips. The sun sets lower now, causing the water to assume a deeper blue tone and the sky a deeper shade of purple. As it gets darker, they swim back to the shore stopping by the water mirror. Harry sits on the sand, his chest still heaving and his sight fuzzy, disoriented. Olivia walks over to him, kneeling beside him and brushing aside the wet strands of hair that stick to his forehead.

“Haz... baby, look at me” his eyes dart to her, eyelids lazy and barely open. “Are you okay? Really?”

“I’m alright, love” he holds her waist, “just didn’t do this in a while, I’m a bit overwhelmed”

“Hope that’s a good thing”

He nods, pulling her down until they both lay on the sand with her body over his. She cups his jaw and kisses him hard once more, enjoying the last moments of their drug-induced haziness. The sun is barely visible, so are they when the lights are all out. All that’s left in the summer evening is their wet bodies, the heat and a sweet-fruity taste plaguing their tongues. He cannot see her in the dark, but he can feel her, he can hear her small gasps that sound just like a song to him, Olivia is like the waves that wash him away and he happily drowns in the feeling of her.

Suddenly, they hear a stomach growl. “Was that you?” she asks.

“Maybe?” they giggle, hard to tell when they’re this high.

“You must be starving”

“How could you tell?” he mocks, bopping his nose against hers.

“It’s weed, Haz, if you weren’t hungry it would be a real achievement” she helps him up and out of the sand, holding him by the waist as they bump their way back to their cabin to get the berries she brought earlier.

Masterlist

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transarchivist · 4 years ago

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do you have any podcasts recs? I want to listen to archive 81 but I need some backup and I've already listened to the more "famous" ones, like all of them I binge podcasts like they pay me for me it ajsjjshfje

!!!! ok i'm sorry it's taken me a hot minute to get to you BUT i think i have a good amount of reccomendations :o

these first few are kinda "famous" but i thought i'd point em out just in case! some of them ended a few years ago and they were more well known back when they were running

wolf 359: gotta point this one out juuuust in case you haven't listened to it! amazing sci fi... would drama be the right word? it's very intense and has some really interesting meditations on morality and the self But it's also so extremely funny. complete, ended in 2017

ars paradoxica: america during the cold war, the red scare, intense government conspiracies.... And Time Travel! complicated but amazing plot and a big cast- i would recommend not pausing and listening to something else, it gets complex! mischa stanton directed it so you Know it has stellar sound design (added bonus: lgbt main characters) complete, ended in 2018

the bright sessions: people with superpowers go to therapy! plus: shadowy capitalistic conspiracies, amazing romances and phenomenal character development! i'm not a fan of romances and i Loved the ones here (it's not heavily romance focused though!) (added bonus: lgbt main characters + main lgbt romance) complete, ended in 2018. i think a spin off series is running rn tho!

the adventure zone: this isn't an audio drama, it's an actual play d&d podcast! the first season (balance) is amazing- hilarious and heart wrenching! (the heart wrenching takes a while to kick in but MAN it's so good) the first season ended in 2017. i haven't finished the second big season (amnesty) but i loved what i did listen to, same with the currently running season (graduation)

sayer: starts off as sinister night vale but with an ai and in space, evolves into a complicated save-the-world plot concerning several ais. it's in second person and it's Amazing! lots of meditations on the self and personhood. currently on hiatus but will be ending when it resumes

alice isn't dead: from the people who did night vale! starts as a trucker trying to find her wife, evolves to include shadowy government conspiracies and the power of regular people banding together. ending made me tear up it's really good! it's Big on the horror (the first ep is the only podcast that's ever truly scared me and it continues to scare the shit out of me to this day) but its Extremely Good Horror. very americana too! complete, ended in 2018.

ok that's the more well known ones out of the way, i think? i'm not too confident about how well known some of them are nowadays ^^' all i can say is that i heard abt them frequently in 2016. now onto the lesser known ones ! the ones that are complete are generally pretty short listens (relatively- they're still a good handful of hours at the least)

zero hours: by the wolf 359 people, it's a short anthology that released all at once last year. to pharaphrase/quote the official blurb: each episode is a take on the end of the world, whether the apocalypse is planetary or personal. each episode is separated by 99 years, starting in the past (1722) reaching the present and then overtaking it. surprisingly hopeful ending, made me <:')

i am in eskew: you've probably heard me holler about this before- it follows the trials and tribulations of david ward, who lives in the nightmarish and otherworldly city of eskew. 30 episodes long and complete, with a phenomenal ending! i can't rave about this enough i could Keep talking but i'll cut myself short. it's horror and it's damn good horror! does deal with extremely heavy topics, please be careful!

janus descending: sci fi horror with what has to be the most interesting formatting i've seen in ages: the two points of view alternate each episode... but one is chronological and one is backwards! amazingly done, keeps you guessing until the end! complete. follows peter and chel as they undertake a survey mission on an alien planet

midnight radio: made by @/theradioghost! big on the idea that "all ghost stories are love stories". a 1950s radio hostess gets letters from a fan. horror, big on the 1950s aesthetics, focus on the relationship between one and one's hometown. lovely ending! it's sapphic too :]

the far meridian: by the same people who did ars paradoxica! follows peri, a bit of a hermit who has extreme social anxiety, who lives in a lighthouse that suddenly begins to teleport. each morning peri wakes up and the lighthouse is in a different place! there are like... some horror elements? kinda? but it's not intense imo. it mainly follows peri learning to cope with her anxiety & helping others, with each episode usually having a one off encounter (usually pretty strange!) often has wholesome vibes. s3 is currently in production and is the final season. plus: lgbt characters, and kinda spoilers but peri uses a cane later on!

old gods of appalachia: honestly it's what it says on the tin! a collection of short stories set in historical appalachia that deal with entities beyond human understanding. they're good about trigger warnings, but it's Horror. produced by actual appalachians! stellar music, a Lot strong female characters, and a good amount of lgbt rep! killer music!! it's currently releasing but the latest short story is finished. (do listen in order though!)

the deep vault: by the archive 81 team! in an "almost-post-apocalyptic" america a group of friends chase a rumor about a secret hidden vault, only to Find it! follows the group as they traverse the deep vault. horror, actively points out capitalism a Lot, definetly has an interesting ending! amazing sound design, which is to be expected from dan powell!

tides: the official blurb is short and sweet: "tides is the story of dr. winnifred eurus, a xenobiologist stuck on an unfamiliar planet with hostile tidal forces". extremely snarky and endearing main character and fascinating worldbuilding! i don't know the status of s2, but s1 was really good!

limetown: follows one lia haddock, a public radio reporter, as she tries to unravel the mystery of what happened at limetown. all she knows is that 10 years prior, over 300 men, women and children vanished. horror, mystery, and some sci fi elements. presented in a found footage kinda way. i really enjoyed it, especially the first season. complete.

mabel: horror (big on the haunted house type specifically), sapphic romance, fun take on the fair folk/fae! follows anna limon, an in home carer who's trying to get in touch with her client's estranged granddaughter. evolves into a big fae-horror-romance-thing! really interesting romance tbh. amazing imagery and prose- lots of prose + almost poetry, but it's really good i promise. currently on a post season hiatus

spines: horror but it evolves past just horror in an interesting way (keeping the horror bits, of course). follows wren, who woke up in an attic surrounded by the remains of a cult ritual without any memories of who she is or what she was doing. she searches for answers, encountering creepy shit along the way. really interesting take on the super-secret-organization-that's-always-been-there trope! really good ending. one of the main characters is nonbinary + there's other lgbt main characters.

mirrors: by the people who did spines. also starts as horror but evolves past just horror (it's also sci fi). follows three women in three different centuries who are all experiencing the same haunting. phenomenal take on ghosts! like i can't articulate how cool this angle on ghosts is! s3 is supposed to start this year :] one of the main characters is sapphic, and her wife is a supporting character.

the six disappearances of ella mccray: also by the people who did spines and mirrors. evolves past just horror but keeps more of the horror elements? follows the 6 povs of the people who witnessed the surreal disappearance of ella mccray. each saw something different and surreal, and as they search for her, surreal things start happening to them. unsure abt the status of s3 but s1 and s2 are really good! lgbt main characters, including a trans lesbian (played by a trans woman!)

the bridge: horror. follows the crew of watchtower 10 on the transcontinental bridge that spans across the atlantic ocean. i listened to it back in like 2016-2017 so my memory is hazy, but i remember really enjoying it! currently on hiatus.

within the wires: sci fi... horror..? i listened to the first season a few years ago and enjoyed it and i've continued to hear really good things. it's by the people who make night vale! my memory isn't great but iirc the first season is a sort of romance that's formatted as a set of relaxation/meditation cassettes. it's a few seasons in and i think each is generally self contained, im unsure if it's currently running or not

the orbiting human circus of the air: also by the night vale people! again i listened to this a few years ago so im hazy. follows julian the janitor who works at a radio station that broadcasts from the top of the eiffel tower! surreal but in a wholesome way, iirc! i remember tearing up with happy tears at the s1 finale ^^' really good music! i think the second(?) season ended recently

stellar firma: i've only listened to a handful of episodes, but i've liked what i've heard. sci fi improv comedy that follows the newly made clone david 7 and the mess that is trexel geistman as they try and design custom planets. i think it's currently running but i dunno

rusty quill gaming: also another one that i've only listened to a few episodes of. actual play pathfinder (basically d&d) podcast set on an alternate earth. alex newall (martin's voice actor) is the dm. i've heard really good things from a lot of people! i think it's currently running but again i don't know for sure

right! that's. that's what i got.

i mentioned @/theradioghost earlier (shes behind midnight radio) but i would absolutely recommend looking at her rec list tag! she has impeccable taste

#ask #anon #podcast recs #cae speaks #mine #long post #<- incase the read more doesnt work

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paradise-of-guilty-pleasures · 5 years ago

Text

Shattered Reflections {18}

[Helsa RP- Fanfic]

Fandom: Frozen

Genre: Post-Frozen/ Canon Divergence

- Hurt/Comfort, Drama, Romance

Pairing(s): Hans/Elsa, Kristoff/Anna

Previous Chapter: 17. Never Again A/N:

Sorry readers for another month long hiatus. I was busy with Helsa Week and then got a little lazy to edit and now I’ve got so many more chapters to edit. Oof. I hope to get some more chapters edited and post them before I get swept away by Helsa Week 2.0.

18. ‘Bullshit’

It was evening by the time, the Captain finally got the chance to go check in with Hans. He wanted to discuss how the first meeting with the guard had gone in private. As well as making sure he hadn't hurt himself too much during their impudent demonstration. He knocked on the door like he usually did, before entering the room. "How ya faring Westergaard?" He questioned. "Hopefully the doc wasn't too angry."

Hans seemed deep in thought, but jarred by the Captain's intrusion, and curious.

"Hm? Oh no. I didn't mention it to him, the pain went away, and this time there were no stitches to rip open, so I suppose as long as I don't collapse in a heap somewhere in the next day or so, I'll be fine." Hans suggested lightly. "Still, not a wise thing I did, but I purport to be many things, wise isn't among them. What brings you here, Captain? I didn't expect to see you again today."

Still, he was using titles. He didn't dress like a prince now any more than he had when he arrived by boat, all cotton shirts and sailor's trousers, looking more like a young pirate than an ex-admiral, let alone a prince. Still, there were untold years of experience in his eyes. Experience with sadness, with death, with anger and fury and complex sinister tidings, but he seemed so baffled by the concept of being liked. The cheers of the men still bothered him, somehow. They were good and positive and gave him positive feelings, yes, he was still a human; but he also felt saddened, because he didn't feel he deserved them-- or ever could. Those thoughts, he wouldn't burden the Captain with. Not for the moment, that hadn't been what he asked. He didn't want to make the Captain worry, any more than he wanted Elsa to worry for him. But he also didn't feel the need to disguise his thoughtfulness as playful banter or 'just thinking' or put on a happy face, as he might with Elsa. The Captain was a man, and a workhorse at that. He would surely know these same depths of thought?

The Captain slightly tilted his head and cocked his brow, at the distraught glazing over Hans, the Prince's eyes clearly reflecting his self-doubt.

"Thought it went rather well today, but it looks like you use a drink, a heavy one at that," suggested the Captain. "It was your own advice to the men, was it not? And you know what? You should take your own advice too. If you're well enough to fight, I think, you're well enough to drink. Come on Westergaard, I'll treat you to that drink," he urged. " I wish to chat with you as men, it's kinda hard to do that in this stuffy room." The Captain wasn't going to senselessly allow Hans seep into those dark thoughts alone, if he could help it.

Hans hummed a bit, tone still light but face unmatching, until he heaved himself up to his feet, as one might on a ship; a lazy but graceful movement, like a cat's casual saunter or a bird of prey's lazy low swoop.

"I'll warn you, Captain. I'm either very grim or very childish, and little in-between. And, I'm not above a challenge." He joked wryly, settling a bit. He took off his sword and set it on the bureau again. "In the Isles there are shelves in the taverns for weapons, but we're a little old-fashioned. I imagine it's not the custom here." He would adapt; weapons while drinking was an awful idea.

The Captain smiled a bit, that Hans had accepted his invitation without too much coaxing.

"Hope, I won't regret the invite later," he chuckled.

He nodded. "Not in Arendelle."

The Captain escorted Hans over to the town tavern, it was a leisurely walk away.

"So take your pick Westergaard?" The Captain stated, as they arrived taking a seat. "Curious to know what kind of drink you'll choose."

"I'm a man of the sea, what do you think I'd pick?" Hans pointed out wryly. "Rum, of course. The stronger the better. Ale for when you're thirsty, rum for when you have a thirst, ey?" Drinks, not women. That had a different prescription.

"You know, I think you're the only person I know who calls me by my last name alone, not some title. I think I could get used to it." He mused idly, leaning somewhat on his arm in the booth. He still looked terribly casual, it was easy to forget that he was a prince, and indeed easy to forget any rank he'd had. It almost looked more like the Captain was grabbing up a wayward young man from the street to teach him a few life lessons.

"You remind me a little of Captain Janssen. Only a little, of course. He's old enough that he seemed just as old when he was snatching me up out of the water by the back of my shirts grumbling about 'neglecting princely duties' I didn't have." He seemed amused by the old memories, but there was still that look of bitter-sweetness about it. "But, I suppose it's just the familiarity. You're not afraid to tell me when I'm being a shit, sometimes we all need someone like that."

"Of course, I should have figured," chuckled the Captain. "Is that so? Well, someone's gotta keep you grounded."

"You're first and foremost a man it's easy to forget that if you don't have something keeping you in check," he stated, and paused before transitioning. "And on that note, I think you did rather well in keeping the men in line today. It didn't go without a hitch that's for sure, but I think you really got through to them. You got them in a fighting spirit, you sure got a way with people, boy, --and I say that in the best way possible-- that it makes me almost envious. When you speak to them you get really down-to-earth, you weren't on some sort of high horse, you really show them that you're one of them, which is true because you're not just a soldier but a fellow man sworn to protect Arendelle just like them, and that in itself is rather respectable." The Captain was trying his best to get through to Hans, ease those doubts he may have, if he planned on being a good teacher to the guard he had to believe in himself first.

"Aye, there's the rub," Hans pointed out, ordering a drink as easily as a native to the country, "I'm not 'sworn' to a damn thing. I protect Arendelle because I have sins to pay for, and I like your country. Were I truly a bastard, I'd use this opportunity. I am, against what your men might think, the same man who raised a sword to kill the Queen. I'd be more comforted if your men were still suspicious. This tells me there's much to teach them. I may be truthful this time, yes, but how otherwise is this different from last?" Hans couldn't help but be disquieted at the notion.

"I've got an idea for training tomorrow. Another kind of test. Nothing physical, I'll sit and clean swords while the men do physical training, and talk. I'd like to test them. And you." He leaned back a bit as his drink was brought, looking bothered still. "It's not that I'm upset to be liked, per se. I'm vexed that it was so easy to get in again, like before. As easy as the first time, like nothing has been learnt." He leaned back, waiting for the Captain to get his drink.

"Even on a ship, I worked to be an admiral. My name could have gotten me a strong position, but I started scrubbing decks and moved up from there, and hit every position on the way. I may have hit admiral young, but damned if I didn't at least land on every job on the way." He was determined to do that, at least. "Damned if I'll be a useless shit, demanding ranks I never deserved." He scoffed at the thought.

The Captain ordered his drink, and it arrived shortly after. "You may not be sworn to Arendelle in the same sense as the rest of us, that's true, but that blade of yours says otherwise," he pointed out, grabbing hold of his drink.

"I see where you're coming from, the men were very spirited today, that's for certain, but I'm sure there's still lingering doubt among them. Just because the group as a whole looked determined it don't mean all the individuals are fully convinced. Some men aren't as open to expressing their concerns in public. Don't think just because they're willing to give you a chance that it won't be a challenge. They seemed to warm up to you, but trust doesn't come that easily, not when everyone is well aware of what you've done. They haven't forgotten, what you did is sorta hard to neglect. But then again, you did call for a clean slate and that also includes yours as well," he mentioned with a nod.

"What's the difference this time you ask? There's many differences for sure, but the main one is 'never again'." The Captain was using Hans' own words against him.

"If you are any kind of bastard now, it's definitely a stubborn one. I don't know if it's an Isles thing or if it's just you but, you're something else, you know that Westergaard? I don't know of many men, if any, that would be willing to accept more punishment after receiving a flogging like yours. Most men would have been content to surviving or just embrace death, rather than be bold enough to return to attempt to atone, especially when it seemed nothing more than a foolish gamble or a death wish. Taking that extra step to try to make amends really says a lot about a man and his conscience," he assured with a nod.

The Captain remembered something he forgot to say earlier. "It's not like the men are just blindly trusting you, a lot of those men have seen you in action, fighting alongside them. You know, you could have very well sat on your ass during the raid, no one expected anything from you, and yet you charged in to aid and got the scars to prove it, that's gotta count for something," noted the Captain.

"You've already exceeded expectations, with your actions." Thinking he'd talked too much the Captain shifted a bit in his seat. "All this rambling to say, you already try you're damnedest and yet you still don't think that's enough. You're too hard on yourself, and no I haven't forgotten the bad things you've done, but you dwell too much on them, you think they overshadow the good you've done or are going to do. You don't have to constantly try so hard to prove yourself."

Hans listened, and even after the first part about the sword, smiled a little to himself and looked away, as if he was flattered.

"Never again, is right." He agreed with a nod.

"I need someone like you around, too. I suppose I assumed they didn't notice me. I tend to, I'm not usually noticeable, apart from the hair. The Royal Shade." He laughed dryly. "We started calling the cat on my ship 'Your Highness', so I wouldn't have to answer it. Someone would ask for 'the prince' and we'd all point to the cat. He had the same fur color as my hair, we joked." He laughed a little at the memory.

"'Hard on myself', one could say that. Others might say 'not hard enough'. Murder is an exceptional crime, even attempted. Technically speaking I should've been hanged in the Isles, but my eldest brother didn't want to see that scene play out, when my dress rehearsal went so poorly before." He made a lot of theatrical references. From 'aye there's the rub' to speaking of 'dress rehearsals' and 'performances'. The oddity of that almost disguised the subtle suggestion laced there in his last sentence. He had another thought about the captain, but decided it was better left unsaid, at least for this drink.

"Perhaps they don't need to worry about lies yet, then. I'll worry about that some other time, and worry about reviewing those tests. I mean it, when I say we should add women and the Deaf to our roster. People who get overlooked, usually, can be the most determined. I've never seen fighters more determined than female pirates, for a certainty. Even cornered they'd sooner hack a chunk out of you than give up easily, perhaps because they know what can happen when they do, if the men they surrender to are anything less than honorable." He didn't like the idea, but he knew it was likely true. He was back to business, perhaps in hopes that the Captain forgot about his implications.

The Captain laughed a little at Hans' reminiscence of the red furred feline.

"That's true, a coup isn't something easy to overlook, nor should it be, but since you've been given the opportunity to redeem yourself, you need to find a balance between being too hard and too soft when it comes to disciplining yourself . I'll do my best to keep you in check, and if I think your slacking, I'm not afraid to reprimand you, if need be," he chuckled, but he was serious. The Captain had taken note of his mention of a 'dress rehearsal' and though he was curious of the reasoning behind it, he didn't bring it up (he was trying to brighten the boy's spirits after all), but kept in mind.

"I'll see what I can do about broadening up the recruitment, if you think we can find promising potential soldiers among people we failed to take into account, I'll welcome them with pleasure. We really can't afford to undermine anyone willing to protect Arendelle, especially when we need everyone we can get," concurred the Captain with a nod, getting back to talking business like Hans wanted.

"Agreed, the defenses seem so small for a castle so sprawling." Hans seemed genuinely put off by that. "At least in the Southern Isles, the castle has a boatload of well-trained princes with swords, and maids who know poisons, and the castle is built like a castle. It's ancient, it's meant to be sieged and survive. Arendelle is too new for ancient sieges and building clockwise spiral stairs for defense. It's a little unnerving. Are you kingdom guards or castle guards? It seems the team is too small to protect a whole kingdom, too large for a castle-- but the castle is such a unique shape for a kingdom. As if someone began by building a house, and forgot to stop." He was amused by the concept, certainly.

"Part of it might be that I'm fluent in sign language, at least for my brother. We could spread that sign language in Arendelle, if there is no current sign language here. A standardization would help to bind Arendelle and the Southern Isles, if only very slightly. Not that I'm after that for any personal reason, but my brother Bernhard is Deaf, and he never leaves the castle if he can help it. No-one takes the time or energy to learn, but his brothers. It would be nice to expand his horizons, if he could be convinced to venture outside." It wasn't for selfish reasons, but for a brother that he took an interest.

"Ah well, you didn't want to talk about this, I'm sure. So, what do men of good standing talk about here? I'm sure you don't talk about women in quite the same way we do on boats, but I'm not sure what else you'd prefer. I don't watch sports, but I do know a thing or two about pirates and good adventure stories and the like." He didn't say he didn't talk about women, only that he suspected the Captain wouldn't appreciate him talking about them-- which suggested, at least, that he was still a warm-blooded male who did take an interest in the opposite sex.

"Arendelle's defenses became inadequate due to the luxury of living peacefully for so long. Like I've said before and it's quite obvious to see, even though we're a fairly newer kingdom, we haven't really adapted with the rest of the world. It truly is a miracle that we lived so prosperously until recently, it's a good thing our kingdom was often overlooked," he admitted a bit ashamed. "The castle guard, though I don't think it makes much difference either way, most of the military resides here in the capitol and the rest of the armed forces for the rest of the kingdom's provinces are heavily reliant on the militia. The entirety of Arendelle's defenses require an overhaul," the Captain let out a disgruntled sigh. "And yes, the castle wasn't built as much of a stronghold, since it they were confident on it's optimal location near the fjord would be enough to keep out intruders. In days of olde it might have sufficed, being able to see incoming attackers and being protected by the fjord, but it doesn't really work when the enemy knows your defenseless and manages to evade the natural deterrent undetected," he explained, which is what happened during the raid.

"I'm not aware of an official sign language in Arendelle, but it could be quite useful in more ways than just strengthening our alliance," agreed the Captain. He thought it was admirable that he thought of his brother and wanted to find a way to broaden his horizons. “Definitely something you should bring up to the Queen."

"And you are correct in assuming I would not partake in discourse about women, for I am a married man. Though I probably wouldn't engage, nor would want to either, out of respect, even if that wasn't the case. Stories are good, yes, but men don't have to be constantly yammering in order to be entertained Westergaard," chuckled the Captain. Hans did like to blabber like a parrot given the chance, not the Captain minded, he was an entertaining lad, but all this talk could be rather exhausting.

"Drinks and cards could be adequate entertainment." The Captain took out a pack of cards and placed them on the table.

Hans held up his hands in defeat. "No talk of women, fair enough. I only do because the men often do and otherwise it makes them difficult to converse with." He assured sweetly.

"Congratulations on the marriage, and on being so faithful. I've known some right bastard men who aren't." He shrugged. He seemed a bit off-put, though. "I don't get to talk much at home, so I speak too much everywhere else. What shall we play?" He could shut up as easily as he spoke, though now he had more to turn over in his mind. "You've kids?" He proposed, short and purely curious. The Captain seemed like he would have kids.

"Thank you," he grinned, appreciating the compliment, he truly loved his wife. "You don't have to hold your tongue, just saying that you don't have to yatter," the Captain assured him, he didn't wish to discourage him. "There aren't many card games for two, we could play piquet perhaps," he suggested, with a shrug. "Unless you have something else in mind."

"Kids? Just one so far," he answered. " A little girl."

"Ah, that explains some things about you." Hans joked playfully, at the idea of a little girl in the Captain's family. "Let's see, you can't be that much older than me, perhaps... ten at the oldest, the way you speak of her?" He proposed, purely guessing as a way to keep the conversation alive.

He imagined the Captain to be ten years older than him, or a few years younger than that; and he himself was twenty-four, plenty old enough to have a kid himself, though he had no interest in it at the moment. Most seemed to have children young, so he guessed based on that.

"I've heard of Piquet, but never played. It's usually poker on a ship, or spades. If we had more people, I could show you how to play Cheat, or as most people call it, 'Bullshit'. Or Spoons, if we feel like a bunch of children, I quite like that one." He had no fond memories of gaming with his brothers, they weren't the gaming sorts, or those that were ones he wouldn't want to game with.

"Maybe we should drag someone else into our games. There's Speed, I suppose." "Is that so?" he gave a hearty laugh. "Though I'm well aware I am an old man at heart, I truly might not be much more than a decade your senior. You'd suppose, by the way I am, that I'd marry much sooner, but I didn't get wed until I was a tad bit older than you are now, the ripe old age of 27. How old are you now Westergaard? 24-25?" he questioned.

"We had our little girl soon after, she's almost six years old, and if you do the math you can figure out how old I am."

"Piquet is a bit complicated to explain. So if you can manage to get some others to join us, which I'm sure wouldn't be hard for you, then we can play one of your suggestions either Cheat or even Spoons if you really like," chuckled the Captain. "Might be one of the last times to be childish before the rigorous training begins."

"Twenty four." Hans agreed, amused. "I tend to assume most people have children by twenty, but I often forget the age discrepancy between men and women, too. Women tend to be married younger, men older, that was my assumption wrong. I was close to right about your age, at least." He laughed a little at the thought.

"Oh nonsense, there's always time around the edges to be childish." He assured, with a casual wave. "As I said on the boat: Shiny brass buttons are all well and good, but if making your men shine buttons all day makes the men hate you, then damn the buttons." He waved casually, and took another sip of his drink.

"Who fancies beating the Captain of the Guard and the worst criminal in Arendelle at a friendly game of lying at cards? I'll teach, if anyone wants to join us." He knew they were both recognizable faces in Arendelle, and he used that to his advantage in the tavern, picking up the cards to shuffle them loudly, a call to most men in the kingdom. "No wagers, I imagine it would upset the Captain, but we can always make the losers buy drinks." He suggested playfully, grinning over at the Captain, as if to say 'You have not yet seen the beginning of my charisma'

"Would you believe, my brother Eduard is the charismatic one?" He teased. "We're all actors, the lot of us. Some better than others. I learned to be whatever I need to be. Eduard learned how to be himself so well that everyone liked him for it. A mirror and a portrait, in a sense. Some may not like him, but he and I were always quite close." He continued shuffling the cards, hoping to be joined.

"I'm in, it's a slow day." A barmaid suggested, pulling over a chair and straddling it like a man.

"Oh, I like you already, you'll be good at this." Hans assured, waving her into the game. "One more?" He proposed, looking around.

"I guess you're right about all work and no play," he nodded remembering the proverb. The Captain was well aware of Hans charisma, that's why he asked him to be the one to recruit players. The captain shot him back a look as if saying 'Don't test my patience, boy.'

With the Barmaid joining in, a young man at one of the nearby tables finally stepped up, to fill the opening.

"If Ida's playing, I want to join too," he said determined, calling the barmaid by her name meaning he was a tavern regular or knew her personally. "See if I can finally get a free drink from her," he laughed, flashing her a smile.

Hans grinned at the Captain, a little more childish, a little more playful at the look.

"Now, here's how we play." Hans shuffled one last time, and began to deal all the cards. "No cards withheld, we deal all fifty-two. Whomever has the ace of spades starts. You play as many Aces as you have in the center of the table. Then, play to the left. The next person plays as many twos, and the next as many threes, and so on. If you don't have any, lie. If you suspect someone of lying, say 'Bullshit' or whatever variant you prefer. If you're caught lying, you pick up all the cards. If you try to catch someone else lying but they told the truth, you pick up all the cards. We play until either someone is out, or we can continue playing until only two are left." As he finished, they each had their pile of cards.

"So, who has the ace of spades?" He asked sweetly. He picked up his cards to spread them.

"Two aces." Ida played first, boldly. She seemed passing familiar with this one, at least. "Good luck on that drink, Derrick, you'll be waiting on it a long time." She assured. Playful banter, without anger, and it was Derrick's turn.

"Waiting until the end of this game is a pretty long time indeed," Derrick bantered back. He stared Ida down for a moment. "I think you're bluffing," he asserted.

"You sure about that?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Of course! Bullshit!" he exclaimed over confidently.

"If you say so." Ida shrugged nonchalantly and flipped her cards to reveal an ace of spades and an ace of clubs, before a large grin crossed her lips.

"Dammit!" Derrick groaned in disappointment. Picking up the cards to add to his hand.

"Still think you'll be getting that drink?" Ida boasted, roaring with laughter. The Captain laughed earnestly as well, the game had just begun and it was already off to a great start. Hans' turn followed.

Hans laughed. "Who would bluff at the start of the game, when the ace of spades must start? You had me going, unless the Captain's deck has two aces of spades? Cheating at poker lately, old man?" Hans teased, calling the Captain 'old man' in the same way the Captain called him 'boy'.

Just playful banter so far as Hans was concerned.

"No no, don't pass it to me, you still must play, Derrick, twos to the table." Hans insisted.

Derrick grumbled and played two twos, and Hans suspected at least one was a lie, but decided not to call him out.

"One three." Hans laid down his own.

"So, what makes you the worst criminal in Arendelle?" Ida asked, confident enough in herself that she wasn't the least afraid to ask.

"My reputation, of course, it is all a man has. Tried to kill the Queen, if you believe the stories. Now I'm teaching the Watch how not to let it happen again, and somehow nobody's had me killed yet." Hans didn't seem the least bit concerned about the number of patriots to the crown in the bar-- which was all of them. He took a drink of his rum.

"Bold move, admitting that here." Derrick pointed out, with a bit of a scowl.

"Aye and it's bold to call Bullshit on a first turn, we're all full of surprises. I tried to kill the queen, then I saved her during the Weselton raid. One good turn deserves another, and one good captain deserves another turn." Hans gestured to the Captain for his turn, as he reorganized his cards without fear.

The Captain nodded and made his move.

"Four Fours," he declared, placing four cards atop the pile. Everyone looked at him in disbelief, thinking he was being either really bold or really dumb.

"Now that definitely has to be Bullshit!" Ida insisted, knowing the odds of that were highly unlikely, she might have been more prone to believe three, but all four seemed impossible. The Captain turned his cards and revealed that he in fact had not been bluffing. Ida's mouth was agape incredulous.

"No way," she uttered.

"Sometimes life is rather unexpected, wouldn't you say? One shouldn't easily dismiss seemingly impossible odds," commented the Captain, giving Hans a knowing look. "You never know, taking that risk might end up being one of the best decisions you've made."

Ida was a bit vexed collecting all the cards and adding them to her hand.

"Two fives," she said as she started the new discard pile. "And actually think it through before you call bullshit this time, will ya, Derrick." There was a slight grumble in her tone.

Hans chuckled. "Tell that to my scars, Captain. I believe you but my back doesn't." He joked.

Derrick was smart enough not to call it this time.

"One six."

"Bullshit, at least lie bravely." Hans turned the card over, himself, and shoved the cards back at him.

"Two sevens. The trick to playing Bullshit, is being reasonably good at math, and watching everybody else. If everybody is equally surprised that four fours are being played, and nobody has immediately jumped down their throat, he must have all four." He shrugged. "It was the best decision to return, the worst to make it necessary, I'd say. The whole coronation affair was indeed my biggest regret in life, but at least it got me here, so it's not the worst of possibilities." He considered it a bit before nodding, as if he'd had to gauge some other possible 'biggest regret'.

"One eight. Making the best possibilities out of the worst situations seems to be one of life's favorite things to do," suggested the Captain. "Odds are rarely in your favor the way you want them, so you gotta make due with what you got."

"Two Nines."

"Bullshit!"

"Well, look at that you actually got it right this time," Ida taunted.

"Of course I did!" Derrick gloated, with a large smile. "Two Tens."

"I wouldn't say 'favorite', but I would say 'required'. I am the thirteenth, I was never destined for good things. If I get anything, good or ill, it's to be fought for. Three jacks." He set his cards down and shrugged. "And what of you two? A barmaid willing to play cards with a Captain of the Guard and a criminal, you don't seem scared of much. The Castle Guards are hiring, and we're certainly accepting female applicants." Hans proposed, diverting the conversation.

"Oh! Is that so? I might consider joining the guard then," she laughed. "It does get rather drab at the tavern. I'm not afraid of brawling with the boys, ain't that right, Derrick?" Ida nudged him with her elbow.

"Bullshit!" Ida turned to glare at Derrick, ready to hit him upside the head, until realizing he wasn't the one that'd spoken though, it was the Captain. She looked at him in confusion for a moment then remembered the game they were playing. He wasn’t doubting her capabilities, but Hans' cards. The Captain was a bit flustered at the momentary misunderstanding. Clearing his throat a bit in awkwardness.

"I don't believe it," he stated, once more this time with a much softer tone and use of words, the last time he'd spoken. The harshness of the way he'd said it last time, seemed uncharacteristic of him, hence the slight confusion. His articulation seemed to suggest that he wasn't strictly referring to the cards, but voicing his opinion of what Hans had previously said. He looked for the cards directly to Hans as he waited for the reveal.

Hans seemed curious a moment, then smiled.

"You've caught me again, Captain." He revealed his cards-- two Jacks, and a queen. "Now which part of what I said were you also calling bullshit on? 'Never destined for good things', I wager? Well, take it as you like it, but I've never believed in destiny, only power of will and determination. Just because I wasn't 'destined' for good things doesn't mean I can't force them, so I went and became an admiral." He shrugged, and picked up the few remaining cards. "If one must lie, lie boldly." He reminded the others with a sly smile. "And so the game begins in earnest."

"At any rate -that puts queens on your shoulders, Captain.- I look forward to seeing a woman in the Guardstaff. I've never known a woman with a weapon who wasn't twice as terrifying as a man with the same. I faced a female pirate once; her crew was taken quickly and she was by no means its leader, but she was the last we could restrain, and she nearly took a chunk out of one of my men in the process. I admired her boldness. She was more memorable than even her captain. It's just a shame that in most places the punishment for piracy is death. Who knows, maybe she got out of it, Anne Bonny did." Hans knew a fair bit about pirates, even the long-dead historical ones.

The Captain smiled, a bit relieved, he was perfectly fine with Hans being a self-made man, he had just been disturbed thinking that he thought he was a good for nothing, luckily that wasn't the case.

"One Queen."

"I'm really tempted to join myself," Ida affirmed. "I can help spread the word. Aside from myself, I also know a few other women that might be a perfect fit, as well, not your typical ‘angels of the house’ gals. That'd be ready to throw down a challenge in a heartbeat. Besides y'all might need a woman's perspective, especially if the guard's consist of a bunch of dullards like Derrick."

"Hey, I take offense to that!" exclaimed Derrick.

"Of course you do. It was an insult afterall, dear Derrick." She razzed. "Two Kings."

"I'm no dolt! I like to see myself as a risk-taker that didn't get it right," he confidently corrected with a smirk. "Four aces." He really did have two additional aces, that's why he'd jumped the gun last time, but Hans didn't know that. "Oh I definitely want to see you and your friends on the guard. We'll have to get some feminine-cut uniforms. And no I don't mean 'skirts'. Can't have you going about in ill-fitting wool coats on the Queen's watch." Hans observed.

"Always one queen, I'm surprised nobody called you on that, Captain." Hans wouldn't say he knew better, he could only confirm the existence of one queen, but he suspected someone else had the other queens. "If you manage to get through this night without getting caught at least once, I swear..." He took a drink of his own rum. "Oh right, my turn. Two twos." Derrick, however, had played two twos before. Hans had suspected at least one was a lie, but was it?

The Captain chuckled at Hans' allegation about the Queen card. Sipping his drink as well.

"Good, cause if you made us wear skirts. I'd expect the men to wear them as well," Ida said in a dead serious tone.

"Ida, why did you put that image in my head?" Derrick started laughing hysterically at the thought of the entirety of Arendelle guard wearing skirts.

Hans laughed too, both at the Captain, and at Ida's joke.

"Ah, you see, us Queen's men know the truth-- there is always only one Queen." He joked, with a mock-posh tone, like the royal everyone tended to forget he actually was. "Thank god it's this one, the one in the Isles is--" He elected to drink instead of finish that sentence, looking off as if to say 'well, you know.'

"Yes, the gents in skirts and the ladies in armor, I'd pay to see that. New rule, anyone makes fun of the female guards, they get a guard skirt." Hans proposed, with a wry grin. "We can tell foreign countries it's a Scottish Kilt, they'll probably be fine with it. Until the Scots visit."

Laughter boomed, and far beyond just the party of four playing at the table, they were joined by some of the surrounding tables as well. Of course people have been eavesdropping. How could they not? Who could easily ignore the Captain of the Guard sharing a drink with the most infamous and worst criminal Arendelle had to offer. Everyone was curious, because outside the castle walls there was only gossip of Hans.

Hans grinned to himself, and cast a somewhat playful look to the Captain.

"Oh I have an audience now, do I?" He hummed. "Our next round may require a bigger table, then. Come on, if you're going to laugh, join the conversation, god knows I like to talk, and I like to annoy the Captain, who gets annoyed at my talking. It's a perfect setup." He joked, letting his charismatic attitude come out again.

He was quite the chameleon. Morose alone, but the more people he could get to laugh with him, the more he laughed as well. He could tell stories or get serious, he could be a fury in battle, but still could not bring himself to anger when righteously struck by Anna. He seemed very unique in his manner, ever shifting. The more people there were to attend to, the broader his personality had to be, the more in-tuned with the other personalities he needed to become. He could be funny, but never silly. He could be chaotic, but never wild. Playful and childish, but never so un-serious that he couldn't come right back to a stern look when he needed to. In spite of his drinking, he still had an undercurrent of control. He knew exactly what mannerisms he was putting on.

The Captain lifted an eyebrow and gave him a slight irked glance in return. An 'Oh, brother' could almost be read from his expression. He let out a bit of exasperated grumble.

"If it keeps you from talking my ears off, everybody is more than welcome to join," he quipped, taking another swig of his drink. The Captain made his next move in the game. "Also if you want me to get called out for any 'bullshit', I suggest you do it yourself boy," he challenged with a slight simper. He could tell Hans was trying to play it safe.

"Ah, the conflicting nature of my character. Do I do for myself, because I am a hard worker, or let others take the risk for me, because I'm not a fool? A fine question, we'll figure it out when others don't pounce on their turns too quickly to call it." He laughed a little. "Are you calling me 'boy' because you feel old even though you're younger than my eldest brother? Or because you're irked about me putting you on the ground in the sword demonstration earlier?" Now he was just being a shit. In truth he thought it was endearing, mostly, but he was beginning to wonder about the nature of it.

"Not a fool, ey? You say that, but I've heard otherwise. If I'm not mistaken, I'm pretty sure 'Fool' is one of your official titles, granted by the Queen even, what an honor," chuckled the Captain. If Hans was being a jackass, he wasn't going to hold back either. "I call 'em like I see 'em," he shrugged a little before adding. "Boy."

Hans laughed, caught by surprise.

"The Captain has bested me in my own game." He raised a glass in salute. "But for the record, I gave my own dumb ass that title, thank you very much. It was easier than explaining to the snow-child why an attempted murderer is telling jokes to the Queen." He shrugged. "For my next act, I shall balance on a chair. Doubly fun if my next glass is a double." He finished his drink and set it down, just being playful. He was sarcastic, of course-- unless someone challenged him.

The Captain finished his drink and ordered another round, who would pay for it would be determined later. The game continued, and Hans and Captain were the ones with the least amount of cards. Ida and Derrick were the ones calling 'Bullshit' mostly against each other and Hans, the Captain did seem to be getting away with his plays.

"You know what I just realized, Westergaard? Unless I'm mistaken, if you lose I'll have to pay for it too, cause I doubt you’re given pension." he brought up. "But knowing you don't accept aid and value hard work, I'm sure you'll find another way to compensate." Hans laughed. "Always, Captain. Hard work like training Her Royal Majesty and your recruits for you? I forget, am I a prisoner or a swordmaster? Nobody seems entirely clear on what my role here is-- least of all, me." He leaned back and shrugged a little. He didn't drink yet, wanting to be clear on the monetary situation. He did feel he held the right cards. "Or did you intend for me to start a brothel? I grant you I'm handsome enough Captain, but that really sounds more like my brother Eduard's thing." That was definitely delivered like a joke, but he grinned wryly at Ida, hoping she would jump in on that setup.

Of course, Ida jumped in without hesitation, she wouldn't miss out on the chance of flustering the Captain of the Guard, how often would an opportunity like that present itself? Ida played along and began to look Hans up and down.

"Oh, yes. Easy money for sure. A man with all your qualities, are very hard to come by," she observed, with a glint of the eye. "You could easily undertake an entire brothel all by your lonesome," she was slightly poking fun at Hans for the 'start a brothel' comment, since brothels required more than one.

The Captain had gotten flustered from the beginning, since he was indeed reliant on Hans, and that in itself was embarrassing enough. But, when Hans brought up the alternative and even if it was just a joke, had made his eyes widen and his facial features shifted to utter horror. It was rather easy to ruffle his feathers, with that subject.

"Oh dear God, no!" the Captain shuddered, covering his face with one hand for a moment, before making his fingers rub the bridge of his nose in frustration. "Anything, but that." Hans had really tested the Captain's patience.

Hans snickered a little. "Sorry Captain, twelve brothers have rather made me good at teasing. God knows we're no good for anything else until we can swing swords about. Anyway, whatever your last play was, bullshit." Hans had been watching the game in between witticisms, and noted that he and the Captain both were perilously low on cards. He wasn't stupid, the game only got good when the pile was thick-- though someone picking the pile up late, as often happened, made for an intrigue as well, for then no-one truly knew the fate of the cards. And if he had to pick some up, well, Hans was one of the few who had strategies for Cheat beyond 'the last card in anyone's hand is almost always bullshit'.

"Finally calling me out on my bullshit. Congratulations it paid off," concluded the Captain, picking up the pile after revealing his cards. The pile wasn't too big, but thick enough to significantly push Hans in the lead with the least amount of cards.

"Don't be too proud, captain, I was aware of your bullshit a while back, but what are friends for, if not supporting one-another's nonsense?" He joked dryly. "Or perhaps, is it rude to call you a friend of a treasoner? I would hate to insult you." That was much less of a joke, as he continued to watch his cards. "Is this a bad time to admit that this game can easily go for an hour?" He smiled a little to himself and drank his rum, but there was a bit of insincerity to it. Any time he got to thinking about himself, it seemed he got a little less genuine, a little less jovial.

"I'd be more offended if you didn't think there was some sort of camaraderie between us," answered the Captain. "Considering we're gonna be spending a lot of time working together. If you thought I was good for nothing other than jokes and buying drinks, I'd be insulted for sure." He chuckled.

"You know not that long ago, if someone'd told me I'd someday be sharing a drink with Prince Hans of the Southern Isles, I'da laughed in their face and thought they were crazy." He laughed a little to himself. "Look at me now, I'm playing cards even."

"Now don't go blabbing that the Captain of the Guard takes criminals out for drinks, if the guys in the dungeon catch wind of it they'll have themselves a field day," joked the Captain. He chuckled a bit then got a bit more serious. "You really think I'd ask anyone to share a drink with me? And much less a common criminal? If so, you're sorely mistaken, I only reserve that privilege for people I respect." The Captain raised his glass and drank from it.

Hans seemed a little wry, and gestured around him.

"I imagine anyone here would have thought it equally hilarious so much as a month ago. I bring out interesting qualities in people, and they do the same to me." He admitted. "Forgive me for not thinking much of myself. I've earned an admiralty and that much I consider admirable. An Admirable Admiral. Hah. But the rest I could take or leave. Maybe the swordplay." He gave an offhand shrug. "Princes are a dime a dozen in the Isles, and you get the thirteenth free." Still, that was a joke, but he seemed somewhat lightened. His tone fluctuated seemingly with the tides, for how fluid he could be, jokes and jibes turning into self-deprecation and mild loathing for himself alone, yet he maintained a tone of friends at a bar, no matter how many were listening.

-- The night at the tavern continued with a few more rounds of cards, after the first game concluded, to Derrick's dismay he lost the first game and had to buy the table drinks. After testing the waters with the first round, a lot of the bystanders decided to join in the fun, for themselves. Which meant more drinks, quips and laughter. After a few rounds and tired of being awarded something simple like alcohol, they'd decided to up the ante for the final round and raise the stakes to something that was worth a bit more, (not monetary, but something that'd put their dignities on the line) they agreed to bet that everyone other than the winner had to sing a song. The Captain was greatly relieved to have won that round. Soon after disbanding what seemed to be an endless concert of drunken singing, that dragged on a tad bit too long thanks to Hans actually enjoying the punishment and crowd continuously asking for an encore, the Captain finally called it a night. He decided it'd be best if escorted Hans back to the castle before he became too inebriated.

#Helsa #Iceburns #Hans x Elsa #Frozen #Fanfiction #Frozen Fanfiction #fanfic #Shattered Reflections

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nobodyeverasked · 5 years ago

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back to you; kim wooseok

(4704 words) - large

Summary: X marks the spot.

A/N: This isn’t a request, but I literally needed to do this or the idea would’ve slipped from my mind (I planned to do this one before their debut, which passed). I literally pumped this out in one day, so I hope you enjoy! I’m working on requests right now, so this is just something to take the edge off in the meantime.

Y/N tried his best to wring out the sweat staining the soft skin of his hands, not to be blinded by the beryl spotlights stabbing into his eyes, or deafened by the ear-piercing applause rumbling the oily black stage below him. The tremors of fear clawed throughout his body, months of hard work that passed like seconds, but felt like years amalgamating into an abyssal conglomerate of nerves bunching at the back of his throat. Produce X 101 was a rollercoaster of any emotion that a human being could possibly feel, and bared every burden that one could carry on their shoulders. It was a nightmare hidden in a daydream, but also the oasis in the desert.

He has made so many friends, and had to hug so many people a bitter farewell, clutching onto their tear-stained blazers and looking into too many glassy eyes…

Too many…

He was able to perform in front of hundreds of thousands of people and was able to hear the chimes of people's voices echo his name from every corner of the venue. He finally felt what it would be like to live in only a fraction of his most desired ambitions, and leave the pinewood floor of the same practice room at Pledis that he danced in for three years - trapped. The mirror that always stood in front of him replaced with a flurry of dancing lights and compassionate smiles.

He reflected on his journey here, and how many of those who held him dear still stood on the giant black ‘X’ in the middle of the stage, how many he danced with, sang with, laughed with, and cried with. The blade of distress wedged itself further in his heart when the numbers and names appeared on that large screen every single day.

As soon as he entered through that doorway, his entertainment company - Pledis Entertainment - shining in blinding lights on the screen behind him, eyes and expectations lingered on him like a cheap perfume, and fortunately, his audition did not disappoint. His reign as a threat, though, only lasted until the night bled into the sunlit sky, the reevaluation.

He lost his voice during the reevaluation halfway through the song. All he could do was continue to dance with the shadows of dejection strewn across his once nervous smile.

As soon as he fled from the prying eyes behind the camera, he felt the frigid shivers of sympathy already boring into his skull. His confidence and his motivation were broken, and his hopes sunk to the pit of his stomach ever since.

He never left the fragile warmth and safety of Han Seungwoo’s arms that day.

His redemption for both respect, and himself, started to build up in front of him as soon as his voice started to come back during his Blood, Sweat and Tears performance and was able to shoot up to first for two episodes straight, finally losing the stares of sympathy, and gaining curved lips of recognition.

He was a considerable threat during the series, placing in the top eleven for almost every episode. He was always commended for his relentless perseverance despite his slip-ups, his sense of humor, his seemingly endless inventory of talents and the bonds that he had with many other trainees that managed to be caught in the heavenly light of his smile. The narrative that was forged through the heat of every heavy breath he drew, and every word sung through his lips made his journey through the first half of the series seem like a breeze, what could have gone wrong?

It was Wooseok, Kim Wooseok…

Believe it or not, they were actually a couple during Wooseok’s days as a member of Up10tion, however, the twines that fused their gazes and interweaved their fingers slowly snapped, and the tides separating their touches pushed them further away from each other. Wooseok’s hiatus was the final thing that shut their mouths and stopped the peppering of one-word texts that were sent through their phones once every other week. Wooseok - the older - was absolutely bewildered, to say the least, when Pledis showed up on the screen ahead of him and Y/N came in, timidly scampering through the cobalt doorway of the main room.

Many flames burned in his heart and marred his brain. He was thrilled to look into those enthralling eyes once more, to see every single sparkle lining his crescent-moon gaze, to know the stories that hung between those upturned lips, and remember the flavour of the tongue that danced with his. However, his heart hurt just as much as every part of him yearned for his touch, and for his grip to coil around the waist that fitted between his hands so perfectly. He knew that he could only admire his boyfriend from a distance.

He made a fissure so long and wide - created through months and months of silence and habitual excuses - that no matter how close they were physically, their hearts would still be millions of miles away.

The ranks were already being shared, one less person standing on the X, and adding one more spark of sadness to fester in the pit of Y/N’s stomach.

He placed third just before this finale, he could not have fallen so far, he had confidence that he delivered a decent performance, putting all of his effort into every single line of To My World that he had. An uncomfortable, thick heat flourished under Y/N’s navy blazer, and his spirits started to fall with every name that was called. None were his…

“Lee Eunsang from Brand New Music!”

He and Eunsang never talked that much, all they used to share were approving glances of each other’s talents. They shared a mutual admiration for each other, but one that never passed through their anxiously pursed lips. Y/N had no idea how Eunsang could pull of such a vibrant head of scarlet hair, and Eunsang had no idea how Y/N found the perseverance to keep going and staying positive, despite the humiliation that thrashed wildly at him during the reevaluation, and the difficulty of working with unprofessional trainees who already had the lights of optimism fading from their dark eyes. If Y/N made the group - or ‘when’ in Eunsang’s book - he would spill out all of the feelings that were stuck on the tip of his tongue since they spared stares for each other.

“Kang Minhee from Starship Entertainment!”

He liked Minhee, and Minhee liked him, they were on the same team once, and all they could remember was suffering the same storm of hopelessness as they stood in their line, waiting for the ranks of their concept evaluation to be slapped onto that dreadful, black screen. He could still feel Minhee’s head laid limply on his shoulder when they were practicing, the haze of nightfall still felt through the hollow walls and the pale light of the practice room.

“Cha Junho from Woollim Entertainment!”

Cha Junho and Y/N had a connection that hid behind closed doors, and out from under the cerulean lights that lit under Junho’s feet. Y/N was one of the people who was able to see the side of Junho that was barely ever shown, the emotional one. The one that would have Junho heave in fits of relentless laughter when they joked with each other, the one that would cast a blush across his tanned cheeks whenever Y/N would complement his singing, or the one that would silently fanboy over Y/N’s gaze towards the camera.

“Nam Dohyun from MBK Entertainment!”

They never really conversed that much, however, all Dohyun knew about Y/N was that he deserved to feel the blue leather of one of these seats just as much as he did. They usually exchanged glances every now and then, and shared sheepish smiles when and after Dohyun failed to do a pullup. If Y/N debuts, he knows he will never hear the end of it, but he also knows that he will probably soon find something to tease Y/N about on their late-night car rides to the gym.

“Lee Hangyul from MBK Entertainment!”

Despite the vast contrast of the presences that they carried off stage, Hangyul knew that he was immediately enamoured by Y/N’s aura as soon as he performed Blood, Sweat, and Tears. The maturity that bloomed so abruptly in his peaceful eyes and the fires of such graceful intensity that writhed with every movement he made on that stage shocked him, but also brought them together. They could never forget the passive conversations that conquered the starlight seeping in through the windows of their dorm or the warmth of each other’s support that was always cradled close to their hearts.

“Son Dongpyo from DSP Media!”

These two babies were inseparable since the beginning, their combined cuteness shining a light of positivity and happiness that everyone desperately needed. Dongpyo had immense respect for Y/N since he found the motivation to move on after his mistakes during the reevaluation, and was one of the first to hold him in his arms when he stepped out of the frame of the camera. Soon enough, Seungwoo had two kids, both of whom he loves with all of his heart.

If Y/N debuts, Dongpyo hopes to let the candlelights of their emerging friendship to erupt like wildfire, and for their moments together to forever be engraved in their heads.

“Cho Seungyoun from Yuehua Entertainment!”

They barely ever conversed, only sparing glances every now and then, and smiling at each other through the screen when they performed their separate songs. Even though it was never forged into words, the respect for each other was always there - lingering in the sparks of their eyes whenever they watched each other. They would love to see each other grow if they manage to debut together.

“Song Hyeongjun from Starship Entertainment!”

Y/N was starting to get nervous now, he was in third place, and he knew that with people like Yohan, Seungwoo, Wooseok, and Jinhyuk, that there was no way he was going to be seated on one of those chairs, feeling the relieving coolness of that blue leather running under his palms. The shadows of doubt ate away at the flames of hope in his heart, and the tremors of fear and disappointment convulsing through his hands - clenched at his sides. Although his faith was starting to wither, he could not be prouder of one of his best friends, Song Hyeongjun.

They clicked ever since they caught each other’s gaze, the nervous greetings towards each other that haunted their memories fading away as they started to spend more time together, the melodies of their shared laughter forever resonating throughout their heads. They both knew that no matter how bad things got, they would always seek solace in each other, have a shoulder that they could lean on, and arms they could fall into. When they both debut - as Hyeonjun liked to remind Y/N every single day - he wants to make new memories and share more moments, burn the stage and flood arenas everywhere with their boundless compassion.

“Han Seungwoo from Plan A Entertainment!”

Y/N could barely think about how much Seungwoo has changed his life until he was swept into a tight hug, his trance of bittersweet thoughts, and the sour flavour of dread lining his tongue dissipating in the warmth of Seungwoo’s embrace. All Y/N managed to muster was a weak sigh, nestling his head into the curve of Seungwoo’s neck, and relishing in his squared shoulders that he has leaned on and cried into countless times. He hugged him as if it was his last time, the torrid heat pooling between their pressed chests reminding Y/N that with Seungwoo taking third, maybe it actually was.

Reluctantly parting, Y/N walked back to his place on the X. There was the last spot, he thought desperately. However, looking at the heavy heads that were hung around him, he knew that this… This was the end, he knew who the last two were going to be, and he knew who would be taking the twelfth spot of this group, it was not going to be him.

He had to sacrifice everything, waste his breath, hold back his tears and make limitless bonds only to see them slip through his very fingertips. The waves of his self-doubt hurling him further away from the debut that he poured his everything into.

The ringing in his ears shoved him into the pools of anguish, his head dropped too low to see Yohan winning first place and Wooseok - his boyfriend - obtaining second. Y/N may not even get to apologize to the man he still loves.

He was sorry for not being good enough, sorry for holding him back, sorry for not being there.

His heart pounded against his ribs, the lights above him carving out the oily shadows of distress tainting his once hopeful smile, and painting a tapestry of worry along his entire body. He was too deafened by his own mantra of disheartening thoughts to hear the audience ahead of him screaming his name, hoping to help the ashes of his desperation rise into the phoenix of optimism and confidence that he once was.

Everyone perched on their ranking seats were sweating bullets, hands bunched at their sides. The embers of hope blooming in their widened eyes as soon as they realized that their friend - Y/N - was not up here with them, but was on the screen behind them, along with three other trainees.

Y/N was a nominee for the X spot along with Jinhyuk, Minkyu, and Jungmo, however, he was too scared and desperate to notice, his gaze stuck to the floor below him, and his hands draped dejectedly behind his back.

Almost everyone near Wooseok could hear a rough sigh burst out from between his lips as he hunched over, his elbows digging into his knees and his nails wedging into his palm. He could still feel Y/N’s fingers interlacing with his, and he could still hear the faint echoes of the summer rain tapping against their window as they once fell asleep in each other’s arms, nothing on their minds except each other. All he wants to do is hold him, sing with him, perform with him. He wants to kiss him, hug him, embrace him. Talk with him until the sun rose and cuddle with him until the stars died. He yearned to tell him everything that he was too stupid to say, and to fall at his feet, promising to never take Y/N’s untainted love for granted ever again.

Jungmo, Minkyu and Jinhyuk, and Y/N all looked at each other in absolute shock. Looking up at the screen, exhausted and doubtful, he knew for sure that this was the end for him. He saw the other boys, and how much worthier they were for this group, how a relentless fire of hope still danced in their eyes.

He let his gaze fall back to the glossy, black floors, his reflection searing into his mind. His tired eyes, his face shaded with doubt, and his once radiant smile that entranced the entire country - no, the world - now a firm line embellishing his usually joyous features. He barely let the sob boiling at the back of his throat crash through his bitten lip until a hand clutched his, fingers silently threading together.

It was Jinhyuk, watching with heartache as a tear of unmixed anguish finally broke from Y/N’s dull eyes, the sparks of maturity that Hangyul found himself absorbed in, gone, and the healthy glow in his cheeks that burned brighter with every casual smile he shone, erased by the rivers carving into them.

Jungmo leaned over to grab his other hand, bending down and trying to look him in the eyes, but the weights of dejection only pulled Y/N’s head further down, unwilling to look at the person whose dreams that would either be broken, or the person that could make whatever menial semblance of hope he still had perish in an instant.

Y/N’s mangled thoughts finally overtook him, a cobweb of distress and sorrow thickening in his head, the darkness of his insecurities finally bringing the walls of his fragile stability tumbling down. He was too enwrapped by the cacophonies of his own anxiety and sadness, that he did not even hear the host call his name.

“Y/N from Pledis Entertainment!!!”

When the echoes - that felt oh so distant - finally clawed their way into his head, his eyes finally lifted from the floor once again, and his jaw dropped, his teary gaze pried open by the delicate hands of surprise. All of the tribulations he faced with every single week, all of the stress that infected his mind as his rank dropped and rose as it pleased, and all of the tears he shed were finally worth it. Within a fraction of his sharpening vision, he could feel everyone diving in to hug him, all of the happiness and gratitude swelling in his chest bringing him to his knees.

Everyone ranked on their blue leather seats shot up, clapping as they shouted Y/N’s name in symphonies of their own joy. Their dear friend, a kid that they forged so many memories with on and off camera, on and off the show, is going to be debuting with them, they could never feel more proud.

Y/N could barely notice people frantically wiping away his tears for him before he instantly wrapped his arms around the people closest to him, his face buried in Jinhyuk’s chest, and his arms wrapped around both Jungmo and Yuvin, who embraced him just as tightly. Walking down the aisle, and following in the footsteps of eleven of his closest friends, was one of the best feelings that he has ever experienced. Sapphire lights ignited under his feet as he looked up at the young men smiling down at him, all of the memories that he has experienced with every single one of them resurfacing in his mind.

Wooseok instantly jumped up from his chair - much to everyone’s surprise - and ran to Y/N, the younger boy who just regained his composure crumbling to the ground in tears once more when his gaze fell upon Wooseok, who had his arms spread wide open and enveloped his boyfriend in the warmest, most loving embrace that they have shared in months. It felt absolutely wonderful for both boys, to feel the skin that ran between their lips after so long, and the ardor that stirred in their mending hearts. They reveled in the flames of their compassion taking flight in the streams of cobalt light draping over them, and buried their faces into each other’s necks, the scents of their past memories still resonating in their heads even after so long.

“Y/N, baby, I’m so sorry!” Wooseok’s voice shook with tremors of boundless regret, his voice so soft - barely above a whisper - but his words so strong, as if he was screaming from the rooftops they always used to spend time on, the starlight that used to hang over them and their interwoven lips still shining brightly in their minds. “I felt so many things, but I never had the balls to tell you anything! I’m so sorry we stopped talking, and I’m so sorry I couldn’t have been there for you when you needed me! I just want to hold you, hug, and kiss you again… I want it to be just like the old times… Please…”

“It’s okay, it’s all okay…” Y/N barely managed to weave his words together through his breathy sobs. “I would like that, very much… I’m sorry, Wooseok, I should’ve-”

“You have absolutely nothing to worry about, babe…” Wooseok leaned back to wipe away his boyfriend’s tears, still streaming down his cheeks, and glistening in the spotlights still hanging over them. The heat blistering between Wooseok’s fingers singed Y/N’s skin with the scorch marks of admiration, his thumbs gently gliding across his cheeks reminding both of them how much they yearned for their delicate touches, and their interlocked gazes helping them reminisce about simpler times. Much simpler times… “Thank you. I love you, so so so so so much…”

Hearing him say those words after so long, and feeling the symphonies of sincerity lacing his words made Y/N lean his head back on Wooseok’s shoulder and melt further into his loving embrace.

They parted slowly, Y/N’s fingers still loosely entwined with the older’s, and his heart still burning with the passionate flames of a reinvigorated fondness. It has been so difficult, easing into this competition without feeling Wooseok’s soothing hands skipping stones of tenderness across his skin, or having his heart broken with every passing elimination and not having those perfect, rose lips to mend it back together. Hearing ‘I love you’ from him meant more than anything to him.

“Now go, give your speech, you deserve it…” Wooseok pulls Y/N back in for a quick embrace, giving a secret kiss under his jaw before hopping back up the stairs, looking around with a satisfied smile at all the other boys who still had hints of surprise still lingering on their faces.

Dongwook handed Y/N another microphone with a sweet smile strewn across his pale, pink lips. He has watched Y/N grow so much in the past couple months that he has known him, and he could not be more proud of the boy standing before him.

“Hello, I’m Y/N form Pledis Entertainment!” Y/N bowed to the crowd and the screams of congratulations flooded the entire venue, the applause and relentless cheers making the sapphire lights cast upon them convulse to the noise. “When I lost my voice and went to F, I thought I was a failure… I-I knew I was a failure.” All of the fans yell a chorus of ‘NO!’s back at him, causing a weak chuckle to roll off his tongue and through his quivering lips, “but you all made me feel so loved, so wanted - it’s been such a long time…” He looked at the trainers across the stage, at the trainees still standing on the X below him and to all of the people that he made such beautiful memories with. He wished - more than anything - that he could take all of the boys with him. “Whether it be helping me get my voice back, helping me with dancing, singing, or just being a better person - a better everything.” He looked up and around him, watching with a thin smile, flourishing with the tiny sparks of bliss. “You’ve all treated me so well. In this group, I will repay you with everything I have, and give you the Y/N that will not put your faith in vain. Thank you so much!” Y/N let one last sob rip through his upturned lips before giving the microphone back to Dongwook and sitting down in the chair behind him, the gold ‘X’ never shining brighter, and the blue leather resting under his hands never feeling better - softer.

This was it, this was the start of something new. Something better…

Much better…

These past couple weeks with the eleven boys that have somehow burrowed deeper into his heart have been magnificent, and spending more time with Wooseok has made their connection that much stronger, their love burning even brighter than the days they first got together.

They were laying on his bed in their dorm, the dark grey sheets rippling against their interwoven bodies, and the pale moonlight seeping through the windows, draping against them. Wooseok’s hand was lost in Y/N’s hair, mindlessly threading his fingers between his locks and pressing his lips to the knuckles that he pulled towards him. The haze of pure, untainted bliss surrounded them, strumming the strings of their heart and belting a symphony of admiration that soared gracefully throughout the room, nothing but the warmth of their love and the tranquil silence.

“We have so much time to make up for.” Wooseok wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s waist, the fingers that ran along his hands in a haphazard daze making his grip tighter with every one of their interwoven heartbeats that meandered in the peaceful air hovering around them. He did not want to lose Y/N - the biggest blessing in his life - never again.

“Tell me about it…”

“I missed this too, your skin is so soft, so warm…” Wooseok traced kisses across Y/N’s collar bones, the hums of comfort and pleasure that stirred above him, settling into the gelid air of nightfall coiling their bodies.

“I mean, I have been using this new lotion, and you know Areum from Uni?”

“Yeah-”

“She gave me advice on some face masks and primers, I-” Y/N finally looked up to see the older’s stoic expression and his sarcastically lidded eyes, prepared to roll into his skull at any given moment. “Oh, that… Is not what you meant.”

Y/N tries to stifle a screech into Wooseok’s shoulder as he was heaved up and tackled back into the bed, the older’s smirk searing into the younger’s chest, and their legs intertwining as soon as their gazes interlocked once more, the starlight caught in their stares, new galaxies of wonder forged with every blink. Wooseok buried his nose into the curve of Y/N’s neck, upturned lips seizing supple skin, and a sigh of alleviation seeping further into it.

“Yes, that’s exactly what I meant…” Wooseok’s eyes shone with the sparks of his admiration - ones that never died - the moonlight that bathed his pale skin glossing over his magnetic lips, and entwining with the gentle, brown waves that swathed his forehead. “But it’s like my hands never forgot you, I’m glad.”

“Me too, Seokie…”

Their soft smiles weaved together in a seamless dance of sweltering admiration, hands, and fingers - surging with the warmth of compassion - wandering over skin in cherishing touches. All of the painful memories, harbouring nothing but painful silence and vague, heartless texts, dissipating in the haze of their euphoria, and the mist of twilight settling between the languid pulses of their lips. Blissful embers took flight in the peaceful currents swelling throughout the room, all of the tiny habits that lingered in their minds, and shone under the barren abyss of the night performing under the spotlight of their heavy breaths after so long. Like how Wooseok would always roll them over and have the younger’s precious thighs seize his waist, or how Y/N would edge his teeth into his boyfriend’s lip every once in a while. It was the little things, the shifting of touches, and the feathery kisses that trailed their jawlines, that made them happy.

They both pulled back, lidded eyes - pulled down by the weight of the heavy dusk - and lethargic smiles gracing their features before they drifted off to sleep, Y/N still laying on Wooseok’s chest, and the latter’s nose buried in the head of hair that was still marred by the scorch marks of his delicate touches.

“Oh-” The opening of their bedroom door went unnoticed by the peacefully sleeping boys as Yohan popped his head through the crack he made for himself, the tangle of limbs on the bed casting a bright smile across his lips. “Yep, this ship is definitely sailing.”

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elceeu2morrow · 5 years ago

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NEW DIRECTION Louis Tomlinson on why he’s not ready to make up with Zayn Malik and how fatherhood made him grow-up fast

Beth Neil 2 Feb 2020, 0:01 Updated: 2 Feb 2020, 3:06

Back then he didn’t appear to be a natural frontman. He wasn’t one to hog the spotlight, nor did he seem remotely interested in competing with the magnetism of Harry or the vocal range of Zayn.

“There were times I struggled to find my place in the band,” Louis admits today.

But it’s often the quiet ones you’ve got to look out for.

Behind the scenes he was very much centre stage: Louis was the mouthpiece, constantly fighting the boys’ corner and acting as chief negotiator between band and management.

“Being from Doncaster,” he says, “I’ve never had a problem with telling anyone ‘no’.”

On top of this (and perhaps most significantly), in the six years that the band were together after finishing third on The X Factor in 2010, Louis diligently racked up more songwriting credits than any of the others, hinting that a hard-working and ambitious young artist lurked beneath the surface.

Indeed, while he might be the last of the band to release a solo album (four years after they announced their hiatus, breaking several million hearts in the process), the result suggests that Louis, having held his nerve and bided his time, might just prove to be the dark horse.

“There was a while when I was worried I was getting left behind – some of the boys are on to their second album now,” he says, taking a draw onthe first of several cigarettes. “At times, I’ve been swimming against the tide, working out who I am. I was trying to find a way back into the industry, thinking of it mathematically rather than going off feeling and emotion.”

He’s referring to collaborations with Bebe Rexha and Steve Aoki in 2016 and 2017 respectively, which, although successful, weren’t where his heart lay. With Kill My Mind – the exhilarating ’90s-inspired opening track of the album Walls – he sets his stall out with a clear departure from anything he’s done before.

Walls is about regret, reflection and ultimately, hope, and feels like Louis, who sings in his still-broad Doncaster accent, has finally found his voice.

“I’ve always wanted to be autobiographical and honest. And in the last six months the songs I’ve written and recorded are of a better standard because there’s an honesty there,” he says.

Honesty certainly characterises the album, sometimes devastatingly so. There’s no escaping the fact that Louis, 28, has faced unimaginable pain over the last few years.

First losing his mum Johannah Deakin, known as Jay, in December 2016 to leukaemia, and then his sister Félicité, who died last year aged 18 following an accidental drug overdose.

The lyrics to Two Of Us, written about his mum, include intimate details about Louis’ experience with grief.

“It wasn’t until after I’d written it that I realised how much vulnerability I’d put in there,” he says. “When I first performed it… I had fans coming up to me in tears telling me their stories, and that’s not something I’ve ever had before. And to do it on that level about something so delicate… It was really cool to take something so dark and make people feel like that.

“I had to get a song like that off my chest. It was difficult writing about things that felt trivial compared to what was going on in my life. There was, I think, a necessity to write that song before I could move on creatively.”

Understandably, Louis won’t talk specifically about Félicité. But when asked about how grief has shaped him both as a man and an artist, he pays tribute to Jay.

“I think it’s a credit to how my mum brought me up that I have a resilience,” he says. “There’s nothing I want less than to have people feel sorry for me, so having that mentality has helped me through the hardest of times.

"I’ve also felt a real support system through my fans. I’d always felt it on a lower level, but when it’s something so impactful and life-defining, I really did feel it from them.”

Days after Jay’s death, Louis appeared live on The X Factor to perform Just Hold On with Aoki.

He was clearly in pieces and it was hard enough just watching, but somehow he held it together, presumably thanks again to that resilience.

“Sometimes it’s fight or flight,” Louis explains. “And the way I was brought up and because of where I’m from, I only see one option in that situation. I also wanted to put myself second and do it for my mum.

"That moment was bigger than me and it was actually incredibly liberating. It used every bit of strength and power and I look back on that performance as one of the proudest moments of my career.”

He says he tends not to suppress emotion and is able to share his darkest points with those he’s closest to.

But as the eldest of Jay’s seven children (five girls and two boys), he also feels a huge weight of responsibility towards his younger siblings and hasn’t had any professional therapy himself.

“No, no, nothing like that. That might be down to a bit of Northern pride, but I have a lot of responsibility on my shoulders and that drives me. I’ve got siblings who look up to me and I’ve got my grandparents as well. So all those things keep my head screwed on.

“My mum had a massive influence on me and I lived with a lot of sisters in the house, so I do find it easier to speak about my emotions. But I’m also from Doncaster, where to be a guy is to be tough and traditional and I feel like [there are] times where pride kicks in and I just say I’m all right.

"I’m lucky that I’ve got good people around me who I can trust and who I can be completely vulnerable with and say how I feel. Nine times out of 10, I don’t bottle things up. I wear my heart on my sleeve.”

[below the cut is the rest of the unedited article - including Eleanor, Freddie, 1D]

His model, blogger and politics graduate girlfriend Eleanor Calder, 27, who Louis first got together with back in 2010 during the last week of The X Factor (“before it got manic”) has been a crucial part of the stability he’s needed through such sadness.

“She’s been amazing. With any monumental time in your life you need people who understand and love you. She makes my life easier.”

In 2015 they split up for nearly two years during which time Louis became a dad to Freddie, now four, following a brief fling with LA stylist Briana Jungwirth.

The track Too Young is almost an apology to Eleanor for that period (“I’m sorry I hurt you, darling… I cut you off cos I didn’t know no better”), but Louis says the time apart taught him some tough lessons and has made them stronger.

“I think we both agree that we needed [that break]. I was too immature for a relationship of that seriousness. But I had to learn that and be an idiot first.

“A lot of young men won’t understand until they have hindsight. The responsibility of meeting someone you could spend the rest of your life with at 18 is too much for most immature men. I was very immature at that → age and didn’t understand the feelings or importance.”

He and Eleanor guard their privacy ferociously and very deliberately haven’t made themselves a public couple. They don’t go to places where they’ll get papped or post pictures of each other on social media.

“Me and Eleanor have been together ages and I don’t have a lot of private photos for myself,” he says. “Even on a night out there’ll be some f**ker taking my picture and it goes everywhere.

"So those moments to ourselves are special. It’s the same way I look at Freddie. Do I wanna show him off and tell the world how amazing he is? Yes, of course I do! But I know he’s amazing and he knows that and that’s what matters.”

He dotes on Freddie (“I cherish my time with my boy”) but admits the unplanned pregnancy was a wake-up call.

“Yeah, it was unexpected and I had to grow up very quickly. It was another one of them moments – being faced with the reality of a situation and having to step up. It was a very maturing time in my life.

“And, again, I’ve kind of got between two headspaces. I’m the responsible dad and brother some days and other days I’m still the reckless idiot chav I used to be. I’m still trying to work out a happy medium.”

Absolutely no one could have predicted the global phenomenon that 1D became, least of all Louis, Liam, Zayn, Niall and Harry themselves.

They sold 20 million albums worldwide, earning over £40million each, but the pressures of fame were, at times, intolerable. Louis says they were only able to keep their heads screwed on because they had each other.

“You can never be prepared for that. It was such a head f**k. But we grounded each other so the minute one of us acted like a d**khead one of the others would say: ‘Stop being a d**khead’. I see people in this job surrounding themselves with superiority and they lose the concept of the real world.”

He remembers doing a shoot with the band for Pepsi over in the States with American footballer Drew Brees.

“This guy was like a god and we were insignificant when he was around, which we understood. But I’ve never seen anything like it. Every sentence that came out of his mouth he’d have an audience of hangers-on in hysterics.

"These people were so far up his arse and he didn’t have one good joke. He had no banter! I still hang around with my boys from Doncaster and I hear real stories all the time, which helps me understand the world that unfortunately I don’t get to see. Having empathy with people and a connection with the world is imperative for any songwriter.”

Harry Styles recently said that he never touched drugs during his time in the band (although he’s made up for that since), because he didn’t want to “mess it up”. Louis smiles as he confides that he can’t say the same.

“All I’ll say is that I did my fair share and enjoyed my time in the band. It’s right what Harry said and it was smart of him, but I definitely had a lot of fun in the band. I was always aware of how amazing the opportunity was, but also enjoying the moment for what it was. I lived like anyone else my age – the difference was that I was in One Direction.”

He’s in touch with Harry, Niall and Liam “sporadically” (we’ll come to Zayn shortly), but they’re all on very different paths for now.

“If we all went to a pub tomorrow it’d be like we’d never left. The enormity of what happened in One Direction creates a massive bond and we’ll always have that.

"There have been times when we’ve done each other’s heads in. There might be something I say in an interview that bugs Liam or vice versa, but we all know what each other is like and we can call each other up and say sorry for being a d**k. We’re like brothers.”

But that’s not necessarily the case with Zayn, who quit in 2015 and with whom Louis has had a turbulent relationship since. He was hurt when Zayn was the only one not to turn up at the X Factor studio to support him through his performance after Jay’s death, despite promising to be there.

Then there’s Zayn’s apparent repeated digs. In one interview he branded 1D’s music “generic as f**k”. There’s a difference between making a break from the past and dismissing it completely, and it’s a line Zayn perhaps hasn’t always managed to walk.

“Hmm,” agrees Louis, cautiously. “Other than maybe Niall, there is no one who is prouder of the band and the songs we created than me. But while what I did with One Direction is relevant, it doesn’t define who I am and I don’t struggle to make that dissociation.”

Does he think some of what Zayn has said has been disrespectful?

“Yeah, I do. But I can understand it. We have a lot of situations where we’re sat in interviews and if you’re in a certain mood you might run your mouth. The older you get the more you can tell if these things actually carry any malice or if they’re just a prod in the back. That’s life, innit? Sometimes people chat s**t and that’s the reality.”

He’s not ruling out resolving their differences in the future, but there’s no olive branch on the horizon.

“No, but I’ve not actively tried. We’ve all got a lot on our plates and there might be a day where I wake up and think: ‘OK, I want to right that wrong’, but not yet.”

After being in his company for a while, it’s not hard to see why Louis was 1D’s driving force backstage. He’s thoughtful, articulate, open and self-aware, but there’s a steeliness to him and the requisite pop-star swagger, which doesn’t seem to spill over into arrogance.

He’s based in LA these days, to stay close to Freddie, but “Donny” will always be home. He says comparing the two places is “literally chalk and cheese” and it’s taken him time to “come round” to living in the States.

“It’s taken a while to get used to spending so much time there. I feel like I’m very British at heart.”

And that is reflected in his music, which is heavily influenced by the Arctic Monkeys, The Smiths and Oasis. In fact, the title track and latest single Walls sounds so similar to Oasis B-side and fans’ favourite Acquiesce that Louis’ manager flagged it as a potential issue.

“These kinds of things happen. There are only so many melodies you can write and if you listen to a band all the time like I do with Oasis…”

Anyway, says Louis. He had to make a choice.

“I was ready to risk it, but everyone said we should get in touch with Noel [Gallagher] so we did. Often the industry, and especially Noel’s world, can be a bit snobby and say: ‘F**k you you’re not using this song’. But he was really cool about it, signed it off no problem and although I’m sure he’s not happy about this, I f**king am, I’ve got a writing credit from Noel Gallagher on my album. That is some sick s**t so I’m buzzing.”

Is he nervous about going it alone? “I think I’ve got a good record so I’m confident. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t little bit nervous – there’s three and half years work gone into it so there’s a level of anticipation.”

The most overwhelming emotion though, is relief.

“Because it’s taken such a long time. I’m excited to go on to the next phase of my career.”

Louis Tomlinson’s new album Walls is out now.

#unedited #lt news #lt interview #fabulous 2020 #walls promo #2.2.20 #elounor 2.0 #baby stunt #1d mention

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visitorpasszine · 5 years ago

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Need something to tide you over during our Vast hiatus? Our preorders are open until November 17th, and will be delivered in mid to late December. Just in time to have something to keep us busy while we wait for the end of the world!

You can find our zines and bundles at https://www.etsy.com/shop/VISITORSPASSzine

#the magnus archives #magnus archives #magnuspod #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #Reminder

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timeagainreviews · 5 years ago

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Thoughts leading up to series 12

Happy holidays, friends! I know, I know. It's been a while. I would love to sit here and say I have been away doing important things, but really I've been hibernating. The results of that awful election, mixed with the holidays had left me feeling a bit lethargic as of late. That being said, I had a nice Christmas. Being an immigrant, I don't see my family on holidays. My boyfriend and I spent the day piecing together a Babylon 5 jigsaw puzzle. I made my pal Gerry a celery for his 5th Doctor cosplay and he gifted me a replica of the Li H'sen Chang poster from "The Talons of Weng-Chiang." It was a very Doctor Who Christmas! Sadly, there was no Doctor Who Christmas episode!

Alas, it hardly matters, as new Doctor Who is mere days away! As I did last year, you can expect weekly coverage for each new episode. I'm looking forward to getting back into the groove of consistent writing. Usually, the fandom is more abuzz when the show is actually airing, so please remember to check in with this blog, as I will be watching along with the rest of you!

If you recall, prior to series eleven, I made a list talking about some of my hopes and expectations for the new TARDIS team and the new production team. Seeing as series twelve is just days away from premiering, I thought I might do it again. Let's get to it, shall we?

The Thirteenth Doctor

Seeing Jodie Whittaker back in the TARDIS for another round of adventures has me massively excited. One of the downsides to Christopher Eccleston's run is that we never really got to see him develop the role of the Ninth Doctor. I'm hoping we'll get to see more aspects of her character. Seeing as I don't expect her to regenerate any time soon, there's still much of her personality left to explore. We've met the friendly adorkable Doctor, now let's see her bend a little.

One of my primary complaints about Jodie Whittaker's portrayal as the Doctor was that I didn't think she got scary. While I love her bravery, running headlong into danger, I would like to see a shade or two of her dark side. Up to this point, she's been too friendly to be scary. I know I'm not the only person with this complaint, so it will be interesting to see what a year of hiatus and refocusing will do for her. Honestly, I hope they don't change her too much, as she's pretty great. I'd just like to see them flesh her out a bit.

Other than her personality, I'm also hoping to see some costume variations. The trailer for the new season does give us Jodie in a bow tie, which I am all for. I've also seen a picture where her trousers are black. I'm hoping they continue to tweak her costume here and there, as watching the Doctor's costume evolve over time has always been one of my favourite things about the show.

Chris Chibnall's return

Was there anyone from series eleven that drew more ire than Chris Chibnall? Sure you got the people who hated Jodie solely because she was a woman, but on the level of legitimate concerns, Chibnall was up there. I myself threw a bit of mud in his direction, and I don't feel as though it was without good cause. The general management of the show seemed a bit aimless, despite many promising elements.

Something about the way series eleven was received gave the BBC pause to reevaluate the show's trajectory, and I have a distinct feeling that Chibnall was at the heart of a lot of it. From his lack of a season-long story arc, to the villains being a bit shit, to an overly dour tone, his first year as showrunner left something to be desired. The fact that we didn't even get a single webisode during this gap year shows me that they're still not 100% sure what to do with Doctor Who.

However, having said this, Chibnall's core TARDIS team is one of the most exciting aspects of series twelve. I can't wait to see more from this great line up of characters. And if the exciting trailer for this new series is anything to go off, we're in for quite a ride. Chibnall's most recent endeavour as showrunner was last year's "Resolution," a much-needed bit of classic Who villainy in the form of a Dalek. I was left feeling optimistic that Chibnall was capable of delivering solid storytelling. And that's the operative word- optimistic. As long as he doesn't get needlessly gritty, I'm cautiously optimistic that this year-long hiatus has yielded positive results.

The Companions

Like many other viewers, my chief complaint about the companions has to be Yaz. She really got shafted on the level of character development last year. When you have someone as talented as Mandip Gill, it's a shame to waste her. I know the fandom was quite vocal about this fact, so I fully expect to see the show give her more time in the spotlight. I don't know anyone who disliked her character, which is a good sign that the fandom wants more of her.

Ryan and Graham were two characters that I felt got a great bit of character development. The moment when Ryan finally calls Graham "granddad," was a truly exciting moment for two characters we had grown to love. The logical next step, at least in my mind, is to test the boundaries of this new relationship. I'd really love to see Graham meet a new love interest. Introducing someone into Graham's life would make Ryan have to broaden his definition of family even further. It might also be a catalyst for his own personal growth.

I wouldn't be surprised if we didn't also see one or more of the companions depart from the TARDIS. My gut says it would be Graham, but I wouldn't be surprised if all three of them left at the end of the series. As much as I love the current companions, I would love to see what energy a new companion or two might do for Jodie's Doctor.

The Villains

Prior to series eleven, I was feeling very optimistic for new Doctor Who. That is until I read an article where Chris Chibnall announced there would be no returning villains. Other than the announcement that Chibnall would be showrunner, nothing had made me more concerned for the show's future than "no returning villains." It's not that returning villains are a must for Doctor Who. It's actually a rather brave thing to attempt. The reason it's brave is that if you're going to leave out classic baddies, you've got to justify your decision by crafting new classics. And I'm sorry, but some Slipknot dude with teeth in his face is not classic.

From what I've seen of the trailer and promotional stills, we're looking at at least three returning creatures from the Whoniverse. We've all seen the picture of Jodie staring down the Judoon. If I am completely honest, those have left me with the least amount of hype, as they weren't ever even full-on villains. I've always found the Judoon slightly hokey, so I could take or leave them. The plus side is that there is still plenty of room to develop them as a species. Are there non-Shadow Proclamation Judoon? Are there evil factions? I'm curious if nothing else.

Another familiar face is the Cybermen. While I feel like both the RTD and Moffat eras used the Cybermen ad nauseam, they're still a classic baddie with a solid track record. It appears they'll have something to do with the finale and that "timeless child," storyline I'm uninterested in, so fine, sure, ok. The real alien species I'm excited for is the Racnoss! Much like the Judoon, the Racnoss are also underdeveloped. I wasn't a big fan of them the first time around, which is why I'm excited for more. I'm curious to see what depth can be found in these campy arachnids. If nothing else, the makeup is fun.

The Guest Actors

Series eleven treated us to a surprisingly tender performance from Lee Mack in "Kerblam!" We got a decent turn by Mark Addy, working with not a lot to go off as the underwritten Paltraki. But without a doubt, the best performance came in the form of Alan Cumming's King James. Not only was he as hilarious as he was loathsome, but he also elevated what could have been a more straightforward performance, by finding that sweet spot of camp and contemptible.

That being said, with actors like Stephen Fry, Lenny Henry, and classic Doctor Who alum Robert Glenister joining the show, I'm hopeful we'll get at least one memorable performance out of the lot. I've not followed many of the ins and outs of the storylines, so I have no idea who anyone is playing other than Goran Višnjić as Nikola Tesla. That being said, the addition of Tesla to the series seems an obvious fit. He was an eccentric man who was a bit weird about his pet bird. I expect his story to be one of the stranger ones we'll enjoy this year, or at least, it had better be.

The BBC's involvement

I'm hoping that in this last year, the BBC weren't just reevaluating Chris Chibnall's direction for the show, but their own involvement as well. They got rid of Bake Off and Formula One, Top Gear's audience followed Clarkson over to Amazon. All that's left are partisan news coverage, QI, Countryfile, and Doctor Who. Oh and I guess "His Dark Materials," but I don't know anyone who's talking about that show. As I said earlier, it's been a year of nothing from Doctor Who as a series. Other than comics and a less than perfect VR game, we've gotten nothing from the Thirteenth Doctor and the fam. Not even a novel or webisode to tide us over. How hard would it have been, while filming series twelve, to shoot a quick little skit on the TARDIS set? The Moffat era did this a lot, and it was always nice to see a little bit of Doctor Who while waiting for more episodes.

As the last vestige of the BBC's once-great television empire, you would think they might start to give a shit about Doctor Who. I know it's a crazy concept, but perhaps shelving one of your best shows for a year wasn't the best option. It would be nice to see them put more money and effort into the show. It would be a welcome sight to see them also put more money into the budget for things like merchandise or extended universe media. We've got three books for the current Doctor and that was last year. David Tennant had over thirty novels, while Matt Smith's Doctor appeared in over 15, and Capaldi only appeared in nine. Do you remember the last time we got a Character Options figure that wasn't a repaint of another figure? The most recent one we got was Harry Sullivan, and I'm pretty sure the only new element to that figure was his head. I've seen previews of the new companion figurines, and they're great, but I want more.

Perhaps I sound a bit spoiled. Many shows never expand beyond their allotted episodes, but this is Doctor Who, a show with a broader reach than your telly. It seemed last year that they were finally giving the show its dues. There were billboards of Jodie's face everywhere. The hype was palpable. Now, it's just four days from series twelve, and I've not even seen a bus ad for the new show. A woman I see out on dog walks was surprised when I told her the show was returning on the first of January. She had no idea. This is the Doctor Who audience that they're failing, not people like me who count the days like an advent calendar. The BBC needs to decide once in for all if they're going to give Doctor Who the respect it deserves, or sell it someone who will.

And that's it for now, friends. I hope you're all just as excited as I am to be back in the blue box. If all goes as planned, I should have a new review up the day after each episode. I'm optimistic that I'll have some great things to say!

#doctor who #series 12 #Jodie Whittaker #Thirteenth Doctor #chris chibnall #dalek #cybermen #yazmin khan #Ryan Sinclair #Graham O'Brien #mandip gill #tosin cole #Bradley Walsh #bbc #stephen fry #racnoss #judoon

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the-quiet-winds · 5 years ago

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Tides that I’ve Tried to Swim Against (part one)

good morning internet, i hope you’re keeping well.

this piece is actually fairly new, @ichlugebulletsandcornnuts and i finished it just before i left on my hiatus, so... yeah...

anyway enjoy!

[Part 1: If You Find You]

it had been aragon who had answered the phone.

the call, for some odd reason, was from a television network, wanting to discuss contracts for a reality show based around their new lives and their stage show.

aragon, surprised and not quite sure what to say, asked for time to deliberate and said she'd call back the next day.

over dinner, everyone seems pretty excited, although jane is a little hesitant, but they go through with it.

so, a week later, a camera crew, producer, and director show up on the front door of their shared house.

they seem friendly enough on first meeting, simply explaining how things would work.

“it’s great publicity for your show,” the reality show director, a man named logan, grins. “we’ll just be here to capture all the action. we want to get a real sense of who you all are as a group.”

“we will require your cooperation in setting some things up, however,” the producer says. jane frowns.

“what do you mean ‘setting things up’?”

“nothing much at all,” logan waves a hand. “sometimes we might add a few little things, like using sponsored products or suggest you talk about a certain topic. it’s nothing to worry about, really.”

jane remains unconvinced, even as parr gives her shoulder a light squeeze, and logan takes her silence as a cue to continue.

"but other than that, we're going to show you all as you normally are," he concludes.

boleyn grins and stands up. "oh this is going to be so much fun!"

katherine and cleves join her, and the trio begin to animatedly talk about what they want to show the camera crews.

jane notices, just barely, logan point at them and give a half-smirk, but really doesn't think anything of it, too focused on trying to calm herself down.

they get told to ‘just ignore the cameras’ and to carry on with life as normal, but it’s more difficult than it seems.

parr, for instance, has a nervous habit of glancing directly at the camera every few minutes, and jane can’t help but notice the producer turning to logan and giving him a pointed look on parr’s sixth awkward glance.

boleyn and katherine get into a playful argument about the tv channels which turns into a giggling fight over the remote. logan gives the girls a huge thumbs up and a grin, which almost doubles in size when cleves leans over and grabs the remote from between the warring cousins, changing the channel to her own favourite.

aragon avoids the crew wherever possible, and whenever she is basically forced in front of them, she is always reading scriptures, to the point where they begin to avoid her all together.

parr is similarly shunted aside and is all but told she's 'too boring' for the show.

that moment, when aragon and parr are hung out to dry and basically kicked off a show that is supposed to be about all six of them, is the moment that finally pushes jane to talk to logan.

she doesn't quite know what she wants to say, so she starts with a basic question. "when are we going to do group stuff?"

“we don’t want to crowd up the shots by having too many people involved,” logan tells her with a wave of his hand. “although... now that you mention it, group things aren’t a bad idea.” he looks like he’s filing away that note for later and gives jane a disarming grin. she doesn’t return it.

“i just worry the viewers won’t be able to get to know aragon and cathy,” she adds, trying to sound as polite as possible, but logan’s face suddenly turns into a frown.

“lady, listen,” he says testily. “we’re the professionals here, and we know what we’re doing. leave it to us, understand?”

the sudden turn in logan throws jane for a loop. “i’m sorry?” she says, a bit of disbelief in her voice. “i’m just trying to look out for my friends-“

“-and you’re pretty damn annoying when you do it.”

if jane gets more upset, she doesn’t let it show. she walks off, intent on finding parr. logan watches her go then turns to his crew with a devilish grin. “i have an idea.”

“whatcha got?” the producer asks.

“well, maybe it’s time people knew the real jane,” she says, eyebrows lifting conspiratorially, and everyone somehow understands what he’s going for.

jane is none the wiser of their plan, and despite her annoyance the crew continues to film as usual. she notices a little more interfering than usual, however, as she’s sure none of the queens had ever purchased a skateboard before and yet three show up by the front door one day.

before jane can move them to avoid whatever chaos boleyn was likely to rope the others into, the producer approaches her.

“we’ve decided to include some confessionals in the show,” he says, and jane frowns.

“confessionals?” she was picturing the boxes in church where you were supposed to confess your sins before the producer clarified it.

“yes, where we interview you about the day’s events and you get to say your opinions on everything. we’ll be getting confessional shots of everybody, but as you’re here we’d like to get some done now, if you’re willing.”

“i...” jane looks around, but no salvation comes. “alright,” she finally agrees.

they bring her outside and into a small tent they’d pitched, with barely enough room for a chair, logan, and the camera man to all be together.

“be honest,” he says, smiling. “we want the real jane.” after she nods, he prompts the first question. “what do you think of our skateboard delivery?”

jane shrugs. “i find it a bit unnecessary, really. i don’t want to see anyone hurt, and i can imagine those boards, especially with the track record some of our girls have, could definitely lead to some broken bones and road rash.”

“could you elaborate on the track record?” logan prompts.

“i suppose so,” jane raises an eyebrow. “there’s been a few times in the past where we’ve had accidents, or physical injuries. kat’s ankle, for example.”

“what happened then?” logan pushes, and so jane tells the story of boleyn and cleves playing odds on, and how katherine joined in and ended up getting hurt. she doesn’t think anything of the question, really, even when logan moves on to the next question.

“so how did that make you feel towards the other queens? you can be completely honest. we want nothing but the truth here.”

jane looks startled. “i love them all,” she states firmly. “they’re all my family and i would lay down my life for them.”

even more surprising to jane is the faintly annoyed look that logan takes. “thank you for that passionate speech,” he drawls. “you’re free to go.”

with a huff and a scoff, jane climbs off the chair and goes off to find the others before they found the skateboards.

she’s just too far out of earshot to hear logan give an annoyed grunt. “we’re going to have to get a little more creative,” he says to the cameraman, and the cameraman nods in response.

---

predictably, nobody else was quite awake yet except parr, the used teaspoon in the sink indicating she’d made herself a drink and headed back to her room within the time jane was being interviewed.

jane’s thankful for this, as it gives her enough time to collect the skateboards and stow them safely in the cleaning cupboard, somewhere she knows the other queens don’t look very often. she gives a glare to one of the stationary cameras positioned around the house to capture the action as she passes it, and the slightly petty gesture helps her feel the tiniest bit better.

she fixes herself some tea and settles into the couch with a book, hoping to appear as boring as possible until other queens woke up to take the attention off her.

a little over an hour later, sleepy footsteps roll down the stairs and katherine appears in jane’s sightline. “good morning, love,” she greets.

the girl, obviously only barely awake, pitches over to her and immediately curls into her side.

“how did you sleep?” jane asks softly, stroking her hair with lazy fingers.

katherine mumbles something vague and incoherent and jane chuckles softly.

“not quite awake yet, are you, sleepyhead?”

katherine doesn’t reply, instead yawning and leaning against jane a little more.

jane lets katherine curl up against her for a few more moments before she gives her a gentle nudge. “would you like some breakfast, love? that’ll wake you up, won’t it?”

“yeah,” katherine mumbles. she allows herself to get pulled to her feet and led to the table, and jane throws small, fond smiles her way as she makes kat’s favorite waffles.

when they’re ready, she sets them on the table and drops a kiss on katherine’s head.

logan is watching everything from the stationary mounted cameras. he knows the story he wants to pursue, but how to do it?

it would be more difficult than it first seemed, that’s for sure. jane hadn’t taken any of the bait during her confessional and it would be hard to get the narrative they wanted from that.

it seemed the only way to do it, then, was through a little careful editing. if they could just get her to say the right things, then the editors could work their magic and get the perfect storyline ready.

all they needed, then, was the words from jane’s mouth, which would most likely require a little bit of intervention.

so they constantly get her alone, trapping her when the other queens were busy or being filmed elsewhere, and jane is absolutely sick of it. she doesn’t know what exactly their game is, but it’s getting very old very quickly.

“would you all please leave me alone?!” she finally snaps, hissing the words at logan after she’d been pulled aside for the fourth time that day. “i have things i need to do and people to look after, including my daughter, so i kindly ask that you lay off and annoy someone else for a little bit.”

in her annoyance she misses the tiny satisfied smile that creeps onto logan’s face.

“so sorry, jane,” he says. “we don’t mean to irritate.”

“well, it is irritating,” jane snaps, her frustration with the past day’s boiling over. “i have a lot of responsibilities in this house. i cook and clean for practically everybody, and you keep dragging me away for no reason at all. now if you’ll excuse me, katherine needs me.”

“she doesn’t need you all the time, surely?” logan asks. “unless what they say is true, and katherine really is oversensitive and immature.”

“katherine’s oversensitive and immature?” jane repeats. “who’s been saying that?”

“just people,” logan shrugs.

jane gives one final glower at the camera before stalking off.

she wouldn’t realize how badly she messed up until the first episode was cut and aired four nights later.

“welcome to ‘the palace’!” logan’s voice introduced the episode. “a look behind the scenes into the life of the queens, back to overturn history’s most infamous stories.”

katherine curls into jane’s side, parr seated on jane’s right, then aragon, with cleves and boleyn on the floor.

“and boy,” logan continues, “do we have some shocking stories to show you.”

boleyn’s, cleves’, and katherine’s faces are plastered on the screen. “anne boleyn, anna of cleves, and katherine howard are far from stuffy historical figures you read about. they’re fun-loving and wacky.” the video of them bickering over the remote cuts on. “but tonight, we’ll expose someone and something no one is expecting.” jane’s face appears on the screen. “we’ll show you the real jane seymour.”

the voiceover ends and the opening credits begin, an electronic beat over some shots of the queens.

there’s tellingly no footage of aragon or parr except in a couple of group shots, as well as a seemingly out of place shot of jane glaring at the camera mixed in with cleves, boleyn and katherine laughing and joking.

the queens didn’t know it yet, but this opening credits would set the tone for the entire episode.

the first fifteen minutes after start relatively calmly. there’s footage of boleyn, katherine, and cleves being their usual goofy selves, and even a confessional from katherine about how much more confident she feels in this new life with her family. jane hugs her a little closer and beams.

the smile fades in the next few seconds, when she becomes the prime subject of the episode.

“many think jane seymour to be a kind, loving maternal figure to the other queens, especially the young katherine howard,” logan’s voice says, complete with the footage of jane making katherine breakfast, then his voice comes back more serious. “but that’s just the side she wants everyone to see. this is the real jane seymour, take a look.”

they had cut together her rant and confessional to make her seem spiteful, that she hated taking care of the house and queens, and even added a slight bit of auto tune to the bit where she challenged someone saying katherine was weak and immature to make it sound like she was saying exactly that.

some of it was played over footage of what had truly been jane playfully telling off boleyn and katherine for making a mess in the kitchen, edited to give it a sinister edge and making it look truly real.

jane feels her heart plummet into her stomach with every word. katherine goes incredibly rigid next to her at the speech, and by the end of it all the other queens are staring at jane, eyes wide.

the show cuts to an advertisement break and parr speaks gently.

“jane? what happened?” she doesn’t seem angry about it, more confused, and jane takes some tiny bit of comfort in the fact that she wasn’t immediately being accused.

jane looks from the tv to the queens to the cameras. “they played me,” she says quietly. “they kept annoying me and i snapped and...” her eyes fall back on the tv. “they made that.”

everyone was silent, and jane doesn’t know if she’s relieved no one is accusing her or hurt no one is defending her.

“it wasn’t real,” she insists softly.

“i believe you,” aragon speaks first. “i’ve had a bad feeling about those tv producers since day one.” she glares at the tv as if it were the crew. “not a scrap of integrity between them.”

“thank you,” jane gives her a small smile, grateful for the support.

parr and cleves agree as well, nodding slowly but not speaking.

boleyn and katherine are a little harder to convince. boleyn and logan are growing close, surprisingly, they tend to feed off each others’ energy and have become friends. katherine, however, feels lots of old insecurities about the inevitable day when jane wouldn’t want her anymore and would stop wanting to be her mum.

both boleyn and katherine sit very rigid, staring at the tv and barely blinking.

“anne? kat?” jane says, somewhat desperately. “please, say something.”

“i mean,” boleyn starts, her voice weirdly high-pitched. “i don’t think you’d say that kind of stuff, but logan’s not the kind of person to trick someone like that. maybe you both just misunderstood each other?”

she doesn’t look at jane, still staring at the tv, and she awkwardly steeples her fingers.

jane can't lie: it hurts a little, the way anne doesn't believe her completely innocent. but she can't be mad at her for defending a friend as well.

she turns her attention to katherine, who had slowly pulled herself from jane's side, looking at the tv and then her mum as the show started playing again.

it was more of the same nonsense about jane's cruel intentions, but jane can see the fear and anxiety rising in katherine's eyes, and she hates that she can't do anything to reassure her.

she tries anyway, another gentle “i promise, nothing i said was directed at you,” but katherine sinks back into the couch and brings her knees up to her chest, practically curling up into a ball.

the rest of the programme is much of the same, contrasting boleyn, cleves and katherine’s banter with jane’s supposed cruelty while aragon and parr and completely absent.

as soon as it's over, katherine stands up and leaves, heading upstairs to her bedroom and closing the door without a single word to any of the queens.

jane sighs, putting her head in her hands. "why would they do this?" she muttered. "there's no reason for them to do this to us."

"ratings," aragon says with a shrug. "reality shows need a character to hate or there's no fun it at all."

everyone gives her a strange look and she sighs. "there's nothing on a lot of the time, it's all that they play."

“but...” boleyn shifts uncomfortably. “but logan wouldn’t do that. right?” she glances between the other queens. “like, he’d know what that would be like for jane, so he wouldn’t do it. right?”

jane sighs, not wanting to drive a rift in the friendship between boleyn and logan, but needing to tell the truth.

“he was acting strangely towards me,” she admits. “getting weirdly annoyed at things i was saying when i asked about... about how little they were filming parr and aragon.”

anne scowls slightly. “i really think you both just misunderstood each other, that’s all,” she insists, not wanting to favor one friend over another but her affection for logan was as strong as it was for jane.

jane looks at her forlornly then stands. “i’m going to go find kat.”

“maybe i should,” parr interjects. “i’m not sure she wants to see you right now,” she continues softly.

it pains jane to hear it, but she knows parr is right and sits down again.

“okay,” she nods. parr gives her a small smile and heads upstairs. she gently knocks on katherine’s door.

“kat? it’s me.”

there’s silence from the other side of the door, then it creaks open. katherine is standing there, tear tracks staining her cheeks and her teddy bear clutched under her arm.

parr enters slowly and lays down beside kat, gently stroking her arm. “it’s cathy, kid. i’m here.”

kat turns over, surprisingly, and looks at parr with wide, worried eyes.

“i know you’re scared, mon petit ange,” parr soothes, “but you need to have faith in your mum. she didn’t mean any of it.”

katherine doesn’t answer.

---

as it turns out, katherine is not the only one left with a soured impression of jane after the show airs.

the next evening at the show, jane is in slightly low spirits, katherine being dodgy and anne being stubborn, but tries not to let it show.

“right, i think it’s my go next,” she says her line after boleyn’s ‘wearing yellow to a funeral’, and is met with actual, loud, boos.

parr shoots a glare in the direction of the audience members who’d done it, but the damage is already done. they try to carry on the scene, but jane stumbles over her lines, and as the opening bars of her song play the same group of audience boo again.

jane tries not to let it affect her; it’s just a few people, a few rude people who let their perspective of her be altered by some reality show. it stings, though. it really stings, in fact, and she tries desperately to hold back tears.

the hurt from the booing and the disappointment she feels radiating from kat, coupled with the general loss and guilt from her son, sends her into tears early on in the song. she fights through them, even as her voice cracks once or twice.

by the time her song ends, it’s dead silent in the theater. no one knows if it’s okay to clap or not, then that same group begins to boo again.

they all hurry offstage as cleves introduces the next number, and katherine won’t even look at jane as they collect their ruffs and sunglasses.

the rest of the show is awkward and disjointed, but at least there’s no more booing. one of the ushers had seemingly told the group that if they interrupted the show again they’d be removed, which was enough of a threat to keep them quiet for now.

this doesn’t change the fact that at the end of the show the energy from both the queens and the audience is completely off. parr grabs a camera from the front row and makes her usual rounds, but the joy is missing from everybody’s movements and much less people wait around for the end of the music before they start to gather their belongings.

“i’ll kill them,” aragon announces fiercely as they make their way to the dressing room. “i’ll kill them with my own bare hands for that.”

no one quite knows where this protective fire is coming from, but just one look at jane, trailing behind the pack and nearly dragging her feet, head held low in shame, is enough to make anyone want to help.

“it’s alright,” jane suddenly and softly protests, “after the tv show, i can hardly blame them for their reaction.”

“it’s not fair, though,” aragon insists. “surely they know that reality tv is all fake anyway. even i know that, and i’ve been dead for five hundred years!”

jane just gives a weak shrug and parr wraps an arm around her shoulders.

“this can’t go on,” she says seriously. “i know you said you don’t think he did this on purpose, anne, and maybe he didn’t, but still, logan cant keep doing this if it’s affecting the show like this. it isn’t publicity, it’s slander.”

“but-“ anne tries to protest, then loses her words.

“there are no buts,” aragon goes on, but softer this time, sounding a bit like parr almost. “if he’s doing this even by accident, look at the toll it took on the show, even after just one episode.”

anne remains unconvinced. she screws face up in concentration and frustration and blurts out, “maybe jane should stop being so sensitive!”

jane inhales sharply, and there’s a moment’s silence.

then, aragon explodes.

“are you hearing yourself right now, anne? are you genuinely, truly saying that being put off by a crowd booing you is being sensitive? you of all people should know how it feels to have people hate you when you don’t deserve it.”

“that’s completely different!” boleyn protests, voice getting louder and louder. “jane had a few hecklers. you can’t fucking compare that to a whole country calling me a traitor and a witch!”

jane stands very quietly at the corner of the room. aragon and boleyn are engaged in a shouting match, parr and katherine are no where to be found, no doubt somewhere where parr is trying to convince katherine to let her mother in, and cleves is probably thinking about fighting the camera crew.

it get so loud so quickly, with the cleves and the tv crew and parr and katherine all bursting into the room at the same time, and jane can't take it anymore. she stumbles into the hallway and falls to the floor, right in front of joan and maria.

“jane, are you okay?” maria asks, concerned. jane doesn’t answer, trying to shut out the noise of the yelling, mingling in her head with the booing from earlier.

“should i get someone?” joan says quietly to maria, who nods, but jane suddenly shakes her head.

“no. no, i’m okay. i just need a moment.”

joan and maria look at each other unsurely and sit down. joan sits next to her, running soothing circles on her back with a hand, and maria across, hoping to provide some sort of barrier from the chaos.

of course, this didn’t work.

logan and his crew rush out of the room, camera on jane. “jane seymour would rather sit on the hallway floor with the band-“ aragon nearly strangles him for not even using their names- “than with her fellow queens!” he announces.

“excuse me,” maria says tersely, “but could you kindly shut the fuck up?”

“don’t,” jane half-chokes out. “he’ll use that footage against you.”

“don’t care,” maria shrugs. “at least i’ll be in good company.”

“alright, i think that’s enough,” cleves says, calmly but firmly. “we’d like you to leave us alone, logan. we can talk about everything back at the house, but this isn’t the place or time for you to record.”

with a slight smirk, logan follows as he was directed, pulling the tv crew out a side door, leaving cleves, maria, and joan in the hall.

no one knew what kind of profound effect that would have until the next episode aired five days later.

not only do they sling jane's name in the mud again, but they drag maria down with her, framing her as an emotionally unstable drummer with anger management issues.

at the episode's conclusion, jane receives a text from maria independently, not in their group chat.

"they're reconsidering my contract," is all it reads.

jane feels a panic run through her. this was all her fault, if she hadn’t reacted like she did then maria wouldn’t have said those things to logan and he wouldn’t have had dragged maria down with jane.

if aragon ever found out it was jane’s fault that her former lady-in-waiting and oldest friend’s job was in danger, then she could kiss goodbye to any further support from her.

jane can’t let this happen to anybody else.

it’s harder said than done, however. the drama is causing amazing rankings, and logan keeps flaunting the license from both the tv station and the stage show’s producers to keep himself running.

there’s only one thing she can do.

the following night, after cooking a big pasta dinner for all the queens, alternates, and ladies in waiting, she looks them in the eyes as they all expectantly wait for her ‘big announcement’ from the couch.

“i’m quitting six,” she says firmly.

#six the musical #six musical #jane seymour #catherine of aragon #anne boleyn #katherine howard #catherine parr #anna of cleves #maria on the drums #julie and jess write #tides that i've tried to swim against

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lnhumanity · 5 years ago

Photo

an agents of shield playlist in chronological order from pre-series, up until the end of season 6 / beginning of season 7.

listen to it here!

song explanations under the cut. warning that its very long, i have a lot of thoughts

01. Two Birds - Regina Spektor

Two birds on a wire / One tries to fly away / And the other watches him close from that wire / He says he wants to as well / But he is a liar

Relating both to May & Coulson after Bahrain, with Coulson trying to help May return to the field, but May refusing, and FitzSimmons immediately pre-season, with Simmons excitement about going into the field contrasted to Fitz’s hesitance, but over-all desire to stay with her.

02. Small - Chloe Moriondo

And I'm suddenly not interested in / whatever the rest of the world has to offer so / I drown facedown in my head and feel my state start to alter cause / You / Because you

After FZZT, Fitz realising that he has romantic feelings towards Simmons.

03. Saturn - Sleeping At Last

With shortness of breath, I'll explain the infinite / How rare and beautiful it truly is that we exist

FitzSimmons in the med pod under the ocean, with Simmons talking about the first law of thermodynamics.

04. Evaporate - Gabrielle Aplin

Flesh and bone wrapped up in skin / Kept alive by oxygen / But right now breathing is so tough

During the S1/2 hiatus, Fitz starting his recovery and relying on Simmons, while Simmons suffers from PTSD and decides to leave due to her guilt.

05. Waves - Chloe Moriondo

Sometimes I feel like I wanna go back / To a time before my mind turned black / I miss the way it was / When instead of just my gooey brains / All that melted was popsicles and the rain just pelted down / Down on me

Fitz coping with his brain injury after Simmons left.

06. Anybody Out There - Gabrielle Aplin

You never told me why you had to leave / I always thought that you'd come back for me / I'm tired of getting people's sympathy / I know I'd make it back eventually

Fitz coping with Simmons leaving.

07. Hiding In Your Hands - Dear Evan Hansen

Look at her, a total trainwreck / Let her off this ride / Lift her out from all the pain / She tells herself she needs to hide

Simmons after the med pod, hiding her trauma in her music box and convincing others that she’s fine.

08. Just Add Water - Cavetown

Please don't invite me, please don't invite me / I wanna be alone, I wanna be alone / And don't remind me, please don't remind me / I don't wanna know, I don't wanna know

Fitz isolating himself from the rest of the team at the beginning of S2.

09. King and Lionheart - Of Monsters And Men

And in the sea that's painted black / Creatures lurk below the deck / But you're a king and I'm a lion-heart

Coulson leading SHIELD as the new director, while May supports him in the field.

10. New River - The Oh Hellos

Well, it'll rain for forty days and nights, / and nothing you do can slow the rising tides / But the river takes her shape from every tempest she abides / And like her, you'll be made new again

Raina and Daisy undergoing terrigenesis, and later being accepted into Afterlife.

11. Earth - Sleeping At Last

Fault lines tremble underneath our glass house / But I put it out of my mind / Long enough to call it courage / To live without a lifeline

Daisy becoming an Inhuman, contrasted with May during and after Bahrain. (So, basically, the episode ‘Melinda’).

12. Wolf - First Aid Kit

Wolf-father, at the door / You don't smile anymore / You're a drifter, shape-shifter / Let me see you run, hey-ya hey-ya

May & Coulson dealing with Gonzalez’s SHIELD while Daisy is hiding from SHIELD at Afterlife.

13. Storm Song - PHILDEL

I'll send a storm / to capture your heart / and bring you home.

FitzSimmons during their countless separations, but specifically put this early in the playlist for Maveth, and Fitz searching for Simmons during the S2/3 hiatus.

14. Spaceland - Chloe Moriondo

Sometimes overthinking can feel like more than overthinking / It's like I'm trapped in spaceland and I'm not coming back

Simmons trapped on Maveth, reflecting on everything that’s happened.

15. Neptune - Sleeping At Last

I'm only honest when it rains / If I time it right, the thunder breaks / When I open my mouth / I wanna tell you but I don't know how

Simmons after returning from Maveth, before she tells Fitz about Will.

16. Yellow Light - Of Monsters And Men

Somewhere deep in the dark / A howling beast hears us talk

Simmons on Maveth with Will.

17. The Currents - Bastille

We're living in the currents you create / We're sinking in the pool of your mistakes / So stub it out, your podium awaits

The team with regards to Ward about all of the tragedies that he’s caused, the impact he’s had on them, and their impending doom with him bringing Hive to Earth.

18. Bad Bad Things - AJJ

And I got to thinking / If I don't go to Hell when I die I might go to Heaven / If I don't go to Hell when I die I might go to Heaven / If I don't go to Hell when I die I might go to Heaven / If I don't go to Hell when I die I might go to Heaven / Might go to Heaven, but probably not

Ward killing Roz, torturing Simmons, and dying on Maveth.

19. Blame - Bastille

Fall upon your knees saying / "This is my body and soul here" / Fall and begging, pleading / "You've got the power and control"

Hive and his control over Inhumans.

20. The Last Time - The Script

Why's it so hard to look me in the eye? / Playing with that cross that's on your chain / I know you only ever bite your lip / When it's something you're afraid to say

Lincoln’s sacrifice.

21. Meet Me In The Woods - Lord Huron

I took a little journey to the unknown / And I come back changed, I can feel it in my bones / I fucked with the forces that our eyes can't see / Now the darkness got a hold on me / Holy darkness got a hold on me

Daisy after being released from Hive’s sway, and dealing with the fallout of Lincoln’s sacrifice.

22. ¿Viva La Gloria? (Little Girl) - Green Day

Little girl, little girl, why are you crying? / Inside your restless soul your heart is dying

Daisy during the S3/4 hiatus, running away from SHIELD.

23. Pluto - Sleeping At Last

Until one day I had enough / Of this exercise of trust. / I leaned in and let it hurt, / And let my body feel the dirt.

Daisy returning to SHIELD.

24. The Steven Bradley - Ghost Bear

My, oh my / you look as good as the day you died! / Oh, who am I kidding? / You look even more alive!

Radcliffe stealing the Darkhold and putting the dying Agnes into the Framework.

25. We Forgot We Were Human - Dirt Poor Robins

So tell me, what do we need with the sun? / Now we have an electric one / To melt every shadow away / Turn the night into day

AIDA and the other LMDs concluding that physical bodies don’t matter when someone’s consciousness has been uploaded into the Framework.

26. Squares - Stepdad

Thinking happy thoughts will fix it oh-no no-no oh-oh uh-oh / Where did I go wrong I guess I don't know whoa-oh uh-oh oh-oh / I'll just go on kidding myself and everything will work itself out

Radcliffe in the Framework, realising the mistakes that he’s made but being unable to do anything about it.

27. Nothing That Has Happened So Far Has Been Anything We Could Control - Tame Impala

Nothing that has happened so far / Has been anything we could control

Daisy and Simmons fighting back against the LMDs and entering the Framework.

28. Turn The Lights Off - Tally Hall

Everybody likes to get taken for turns / To see how bright the fire inside of us burns / And everybody wants to get evil tonight / But all good devils masquerade under the light

Daisy and Simmons finding out that HYDRA are in control inside the Framework, and seeing what May and Fitz had turned into.

29. Willow Tree March - The Paper Kites

And we all still die / Yeah we all still die / What will you leave behind? / Oh we all still die

Agnes, Mace, Hope and Radcliffe’s deaths, and their impacts on the team.

30. Cabinet Man - Lemon Demon

You can't win me, I can't be beat / I won't hurt you unless you cheat / You can't see me behind the screen / I'm half human and half machine

AIDA becoming a human, and fighting back using her new Inhuman powers, ending with her being killed by the Spirit of Vengeance.

31. Lethargy - Bastille

There's an English man up in space these days / Floating in awe and wonder / As he broke away from the atmosphere / And all of us non-believers

The team arriving at the future Lighthouse, and meeting Deke.

32. Warmth Outro - Bastille

Never good, still the bad and the ugly / Laid in front of us / Clearly we've learned nothing at all / From the TV's window

The remainder of the team during the loop, where they failed to save the Earth.

33. Cutie Boots - Stepdad

I wanna hold you til' it feels like it's been long enough to stop saying I miss you, stop saying I miss you

FitzSimmons reunion in the future Lighthouse.

34. Venus - Sleeping At Last

After a while, I thought I'd never find you. / I convinced myself that I would never find you, / When suddenly I saw you.

FitzSimmons wedding.

35. Stagnant - Chloe Moriondo

I don't know why I'm mean to everyone I love / It's hard to try to communicate / With darkness inside my head / Filling my lungs

Fitz, leading up to his breakdown.

36. The Driver - Bastille

There was a time when a moment like this / Wouldn't ever cross my mind / The sun will rise with my name on your lips / 'Cause everything will change tonight

The Devil Complex.

37. A Dark Design - Among Savages

Oh, there is not a God in heaven that wants to see us fighting this way / Oh, He spoke more about loving than people trying to make people change

The team fighting during S5.

38. Shame - Bastille

I can see a change / I can see a change in you / I see it coursing through your veins / And it is a shame / It is a shame on you / I barely recognize your face

The team continuing to fight - especially Daisy towards Fitz, and Daisy and Yo-Yo after Yo-Yo kills Ruby.

39. Terrified - Among Savages

Cause I'm terrified and I'm ruined by this mess / Cause I needed you more than I needed what was best

FitzSimmons refusing to let each other die & fixing the Gravitonium machine.

40. Icarus - Bastille

Icarus is flying too close to the sun / And Icarus's life, it has only just begun / This is how it feels to take a fall / Icarus is flying towards an early grave

Fitz during S5.

41. Bad Moon Rising - Credence Clearwater Revival

I see a bad moon a-rising / I see trouble on the way / I see earthquakes and lightnin' / I see bad times today

The final battle between Daisy and Graviton.

42. A Sadness Runs Through Him - The Hoosiers

Turn back the time that drew him / But he couldn't be saved / No he couldn't be saved / A sadness runs through him

Fitz’s death.

43. Carry On - fun.

Woah, my head is on fire but my legs are fine / After all, they are mine

The aftermath of the battle.

44. Ghosts That We Knew - Mumford & Sons

But the ghosts that we knew will flicker from you / And we'll live a long life

Coulson’s retirement party.

45. Good Grief - Bastille

Every minute and every hour / I miss you, I miss you, I miss you more / Every stumble and each misfire / I miss you, I miss you, I miss you more

Daisy and May’s reaction to Coulson’s death, and Simmons’s reaction to Fitz’s death.

46. Tic Toc - Mother Mother

Big hand, little hand, no hand, slow hand / Sitting in my hand is the sand of a shattered hour glass / And I throw these grains of sand into the wind and laugh / And I do not care just what they'll have to say about that

Simmons realising that there’s another Fitz out there, and her determination to bring him home.

47. Happier - Marshmello

Then only for a minute / I want to change my mind / 'Cause this just don't feel right to me / I want to raise your spirits / I want to see you smile but / Know that means I'll have to leave

Yo-Yo and Mack’s break up during the S5/6 hiatus.

48. Mountain Sound - Of Monsters and Men

Some hid scars and some hid scratches / It made me wonder about their past / And as I looked around, I began to notice / That we were nothing like the rest

The Zephyr team searching for Fitz, while Fitz and Enoch try to get to Naro-Atzia, during the S5/6 hiatus.

49. The World Ender - Lord Huron

I had a life and a place in the world / I had a sweet talkin' wife and a beautiful girl / I know I'm never gonna see 'em again / Gonna tear the world up until I have my revenge

Sarge hunting for Izel.

50. Spaceman - The Killers

The star maker says, it ain't so bad / The dream maker's going make you mad / The spaceman says, everybody look down / It's all in your mind

S6 as a whole, starting with Fitz in space, and ending with Simmons taking the team to the future, including Izel’s body hopping and Davis’s death.

51. Smile - Mikky Ekko

Smile, the worst is yet to come / We'll be lucky if we ever see the sun / Got nowhere to go, we could be here for a while / But the future is forgiven so smile

The team heading off to stop the Chronicom and save their future.

#agents of shield #Earth vs Space #Team Space AOS #i like music a little bit

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