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sgiandubh · 10 months ago

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The door faces North

This has been, by far, one of the most complex investigations I have ever done in this fandom, and I am truly sorry for the long wait I had to inflict on many of you & for the uncharacteristic radio silence in DMs and comments. During this peculiar journey, I checked, double-checked and cross-checked as many details as I could and I carefully considered at least two different theories, of which I still think they do not exclude each other. I am now confident enough to make not only an educated guess, but also a daring bet on SRH's next whisky move.

Also, sorry for the length of this post. Truly sorry - think of the completely pulverized night sleep I had to give up, in order to bring this to you.

But first, a word on Marple's obvious PR tip on the Hopetoun Estate refurbishment and distillery old/new project. I am fair game enough to tell you the obvious: her overall recounting of the principals is roughly correct, spare perhaps one or two minor details. Correct, but dry - she limits herself to the technical documentation submitted by Golden Decanters and The Hopetoun Estates Trust to the West Lothian Council for approval. She correctly points out that S is not a visible part of the deal, at this point in time and she does a decent summing up of a very, very, VERY plethoric amount of bureaucratic information. She concludes, and I think she is partially right, that he might be interested in becoming an investor (I am taking things a bit further, though). But in doing so, she focuses on the development phase of the project only: the possible connections with SRH and his own spirits business are less, if at all, obvious.

I am going to give you my view of all this charade and, if I am going to mention (and probably repeat) some things already found by her, I am going to focus on the people: this is where the whole story starts to become remarkably interesting, at least to me. After all, I remember promising you some more clarity. Here's an honest, fair play take.

Little did I know, when I started to write about that (now defunct) company, Midhope Castle Distillery, Ltd (https://www.tumblr.com/sgiandubh/748597198794670080/the-info-provided-above-is-correct-but-outdated?source=share), that my investigation would turn to this:

... for it was to be just an almost random layer of a juggernaut matryoshka of defunct or still active companies, featuring roughly the same people and no less than 6 different name combinations centered around Midhope, Hopetoun, etc.

The following pics will give you an idea - feel free to open them in a separate tab, for clarity . I preferred this synthetic approach, because otherwise you will curse the shite out of me. But it had to be done, with or without Depon, Advil's Greek cousin (and before you ask a graphologist, this is my handwriting, and nobody else's 🙃):

The only explanation for the whole almost frantic Midhope/Hopetoun crisscross/hopscotch (LOL) combos I can think of is two people trying to secure one (several?) credit lines or to attract significant investors for their project and ultimately failing to do so. But I might be wrong (although I doubt that, thank you). Out of this entire maze ( I swear I now have a migraine), there are only two active companies remaining: Golden Decanters Ltd (renamed GD Spirits Ltd, in April 2022) and Midhope Ltd (renamed Skosk Ltd, in July 2023). It is on them I am going to focus my gaze.

GD Spirits Ltd was incorporated in Berwick-upon-Tweed, England (just across the Scottish border), probably for tax reasons, on March 11, 2015, the nature of its business being listed as 'wholesale of wine, beer, spirits, etc.'. It started with a team of two women: Julia Mackenzie-Gillanders and Ann Medlock, whose names we are going to see over and over again in all the eight corporate avatars. Later down the timeline (LOL for three decades and a half), on January 30, 2018, they were briefly (until July 19, 2018) joined by two very interesting professionals: Mrs. Margaret Boswell, an attorney at the very prestigious international law firm Gide Loyrette Nouel (Paris and London offices)...

...and Ken Robertson, former Corporate Affairs Director at Diageo Whisky, a subsidiary of the international Diageo group, one of the major players on the world spirits' market:

The second company, Skosk Ltd, was incorporated in August 2021, in Perth, Scotland, its nature of business being listed as 'distilling, rectifying and blending of spirits', with the clear intention to align with the exacting criteria prescribed by the 2009 Scotch Whisky Regulations:

[ Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scotch_whisky - sorry, I don't have time to wax lyrical on this, and neither do you]

This time, we only meet again the two distillerettes, Gillanders and Medwick. Up until now, at least, nobody else (attorney, former sales executive, whisky expert) has joined the platoon - TBC? I would not speculate and leave all options open.

There is little to 0 transparency on Skosk's financial situation, at the moment and to be honest, it looks very much like S's co-star (hehe)'s Irish business venture...

... but I was a bit more lucky, and the numbers more chatty, as far as GD Spirits was concerned:

Paging all shipper chartered accountants out there, but to me, it doesn't look great, at the moment. Cash is ridiculous, the net worth is hemorrhaging and the current assets are negligible, compared to 2020, when I think they managed to secure one or two credit lines, but not nearly enough for what they needed. Just enough to pay themselves and their external consultants and cover the operating costs, if you ask me.

The revised Planning Statement, of 8 February 2024, posted first by Marple, echoes my initial guess (COVID blew it up, see link to the first post) and the above assessment:

Mark this: 'Discussions are now proceeding with investors and there is a realistic prospect that work will begin in the near future (2024/2025) to implement the permission.' Given that they will start with the road and parking rehabilitation and upgrading, probably overlapping with the distillery building, it would make sense to begin this autumn at the earliest, with the most urgent: access to the site itself.

The initial Planning Statement, dated 9 July 2020 and re-posted on March 21st, 2024, tells a more detailed story. This is part and parcel of the current project as well, since the revision is just pointing out the changes operated, not the entire rest, which remains unchanged. You be the judge:

Also keep in mind this tiny, tiny thing: the Business Plan is 'submitted (...) under Private and Confidential Cover'. See where I am looking?

The initial plan was (and still is) for GD Spirits to produce their own booze, using Midhope's own barley (this is very important for the rest of my theory!). They even offer an overview of the real impact of their project on the local economy:

20 to 38 initial new job creations for a £ 15 to 30 million investment is not 'huge', madam Marple. Cumbernauld is huge. This? This is rather modest, if you ask me. But hey, what do I know about the labor market, right?

That initial Statement tells also the story they want to tell about the genesis of their idea, the scouting for the right location and a couple of other interesting details:

So they are telling us they started to look for the perfect location in 2018 and oh, hello, they found the Hopetoun Estate rather quickly, already starting the pre-planning application consultations as early as July 2019 (don't get me started, please):

If so, then why did they incorporate not one, but two different companies clearly linking them to the Estate (Hopetoun Estate Distillery Ltd and Hopetoun Estate Whiskies Ltd) the same day and as early as May 23rd 2017 (and both dissolved in December 2022), as my above penciled timeline (LOOOOOL) shows? Who is really behind this project and why this entire ballet? It's like me pre-emptively looking for rental properties in (let's randomly guess) Lisbon, when it's just wishful thinking, heavily projecting and with 0 guarantees I will be posted there, right? I mean, I adore and deeply know Lisbon and I would be thrilled to go there. But I am not currently looking for any rental property, just like that, because that would be a #silly, rookie mistake. In their case, I think there's a different situation - again, you be the judge.

A first answer, as to who is really behind that project, was given by the UK media, back in 2020:

How odd, when we know that both Mrs. Boswell, the well-traveled attorney and Mr. Robertson resigned from GD Spirits in July 2018. Do they still say hi to the two distillerettes? Do they quietly keep an eye on the project? Are they silent partners? Business angels? Shareholders? Time to remind you that under UK law, there is 0 visibility on the shareholder's structure of a company. You just see the officers (Director, Secretary, etc), on the Company House website. On an umpteenth, last- second cross-check, it became apparent that Mr. Robertson remained involved in another company of the distillerettes, Hopetoun Estate Whiskies Ltd (yes, the one mentioned above), until its voluntary strike-off, in December 2022.

Their best laid plans do mention OL, and how could it be otherwise? But all this £ 15 to 30 million hullaballoo for 20.000 people only (who counted them and how?), on a seasonal basis?

High-end restaurant, luxury B&B, event spaces, you name it. Interesting, to say the least.

And, for the people in the back, who still think SRH has a 100 years lease at Midhope (Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ, the stupidity!):

This is why he commented as a 'member of the public'. At face value, there is no public involvement into that project. Yet. But it is my belief there is a vested interest in all this, justifying the comment, the visit, those papers rolled in his fist, etc. At first, I thought that was a visit to Lallybroch by the Exec Producer of OL's Season 8, to discuss technicalities - and shared that privately with a wonderful friend only. I mean, why not and still perfectly possible. But then, as I could not sleep tonight and felt guilty to have you all waiting, I started to connect some tiny dots.

Like this one, for a start:

Yes, I know, Marple told you that FIRST, I would not dare say otherwise, because if I did there would be a transcontinental screech. That trademark application was filed at the US Patent and Trade Office in September 2023 and I thought (and still partially do) it was a potential rebranding solution to The Sassenach's EUIPO nightmare (much exaggerated by the fandom's toothbrush experts):

But you also know I am an idiot and I always check people's CVs, when I follow a thread. This morning, the one Distillerette I am particularly interested in is Mrs. Julia Hall-Mackenzie-Gillanders (née Scales) and not like *urv would be.

Her LinkedIn profile is exceptionally talkative, too:

... and a BA (with Honors) in Fashion Design, class of 2005, at the Northumbria University.

The Financial Times article 'From packing boxes to wine deals worth millions', you can read on her LinkedIn page, tells a very interesting story. It is the story of a shy underdog (lots of temple bells clinging, at the moment), who made it by sheer persistence. It starts like this:

'When a painfully shy young woman contacted a fine wine merchant and said ' I have no qualifications- can I help?', she got the job and today is signing deals worth millions of pounds.'

It obviously did ring a bell and if SRH knows she exists (she is married, *urv!), and I dare to speculate he does, it must have struck a deep chord. Would I do business with her? I wouldn't speculate, although I am not very sure. Would he? He'd probably listen very carefully to what she has to pitch, for a start.

And what she has to pitch is also very interesting, in his world. A brief look at the Golden Decanters' website shows a first high-end single malt sourced collection of 4 exceptional expressions already sold out:

And when they mean high-end, they mean gold leaf labelling and all the tralala:

And, some last minute news, too:

Remind me, because I am an old woman, after this white night: wasn't The Sassenach (no comment, we agree to disagree and I am very skeptical), a blend?

We have these dots, then:

Bold Underdog ->spirits business->high-end collection of single malts sold out->business partnership with owners of Midhope Castle, fictional Lallybroch in OL, including a distillery and whisky production with Midhope/Lallybroch barley -> visit by the male lead and spirits entrepreneur (also the fictional Lallybroch laird) to Midhope/Lallybroch and vested interest in the estate's most recent business project....

What if The Sassenach would be included, for a start, in that new Blended Collection? And could it really be fanfic to imagine a future high-end, limited edition, Lallybroch whisky produced at Midhope, with Midhope/Lallybroch barley? It wouldn't be the first time, would it: after all, they did it with that limited tequila batch.

As I said, because I am (remember Someone? LOL) a 'silly cow', I was hoping he wouldn't do it. But my guess is he might very well do exactly that, with those people and under that label.

It's half past eight AM, local time and I need a strong, black coffee.

I rest my case (and I am bracing myself for the screeching). I will answer Anons later, after I come back from the hairdresser's. Appointments must be kept at all costs. Thank you all for your patience.

#boozewars #business #fandom #shitshow

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candyflosstoxicity · 4 years ago

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Wanna Be Your Setting Lotion

Endeavor x Black!Reader

Warnings: 18+, minors DNI. Power imbalance. Unsafe sex. Creampie. Breeding kink. Breath play. Pain play.

Despite the sizable uptick in his popularity after triumphing over the High-End Nomu, Enji still felt that his ability to relate to the everyday civilians was sorely lacking. There was still some doubt amongst the masses that he could be a suitable replacement for All Might. As much as that stung his ego, Enji knew that their misgivings weren’t unfounded.

He had promised his son that he would become a hero that he could be proud to call his father, and that meant more than just saving lives. Enji had to work to build a relationship with the public, and be a hero that was not only powerful, but approachable and relatable.

So, with his secretary’s assistance, Enji reached out to the most highly recommended media relations agency in Musutafu and requested that they pair him with a very particular type of publicist. He made sure to specify that they had to be thick-skinned and prepared to undertake all the work that would come with being the publicist to the number one hero. Though he had certainly made some important changes within himself, he still didn’t know how to talk to people and didn’t want to send the publicist running for the hills.

That was how you ended up standing outside the Endeavor Hero Agency. The glass skyscraper gleamed brightly under the sun, and really impressed upon you that this was happening. You had been assigned your first hero, but not just any run of the mill hero and it honestly had you feeling nervous in a way that you never had before. It’s not as if you doubted your ability to manage and improve the Flame Hero’s public image, but this was a major assignment that could either launch your career into the stratosphere or sink it like a stone.

After taking a few deep breaths to steady yourself, you walked briskly through the front entrance and into the main lobby, where you were greeted by the receptionist. You explained who you were and what you were there for, and she immediately hopped up from her desk in a panic and hastily led you to the elevator. It did nothing to quell your anxiety, because if his receptionist was losing her cool, what chance did you have against the man?

Upon reaching the top floor, the receptionist all but shoved you out of the elevator, giving you a hasty “good luck” while frantically pushing the button to close the door. You stumbled forward and were faced with a large, hardwood door. Having decided that you simply could not delay your assignment any further, you squared your shoulders, took decisive steps forward, and knocked on the door.

---------------------

That was several months ago, and you could say with hindsight that you were right to be anxious. While working for Endeavor was the best way to cut your teeth as a publicist, the man himself was...something fucking else.

It wasn’t just that he was physically intimidating, with his towering height and mountains of muscle. Honestly, you were able to quickly get past that and start working towards building a friendly, yet professional relationship with your boss. Except, he was the most tight-lipped, awkward person you had ever dealt with when he wasn’t in the process of saving lives. And when he was actually somewhat talkative, he was so intense that it left you flustered.

However, Enji always treated you with respect and courtesy, and when you did well, he told you as much. Heat would crawl its way from the top of your head to the tips of your toes whenever he would tell you, “You’ve done excellent work this week, (L/N)-san. Your efforts are appreciated.”

To anyone else and coming from anyone else, it might not mean much, but Todoroki Enji wasn’t just anyone. He had high standards for all of his employees, and you were no exception. Praise from him was hard to come by, and when it was directed at you, it made you feel some type of way.

It was obvious to everyone with a pulse that Enji was an incredibly attractive man. Indeed, every interview you scheduled for him with a female journalist found him being inundated with coy smiles, flirting, and pointed questions about his relationship status.

To be fair, you had asked him the same question, but only because it was important for you to know as the person who handled all of his public relations. It definitely wasn’t because you were lusting after your client and hoping that he was free to maybe, someday, knock your walls down.

Still, you had always prided yourself on being the consummate professional, so you refrained from asking any questions that were too personal. Even though you were so often alone with Enji in his penthouse office, with little to no interruption, and a lot of plush furniture he could fuck you on…

You shook your head sharply, your dark, curly hair moving with the motion. ‘Focus, bitch. Don’t be a goofy and try to fuck your boss. He would probably fire your ass before you could ask for a crumb of dick.’

It didn’t matter if you hadn’t gotten laid since you started working as his publicist; you were NOT going to fuck Todoroki Enji.

Little did you know, Enji was enduring his own share of suffering and sexual frustration. And he had no intentions of denying himself. For him, it was simply a matter of opportunity.

--------------------------

It was finally Friday evening, and Enji was more than ready for the weekend. After a solid week of double patrols, while squeezing in PR appearances that you had set up for him, he just wanted to sit down in his recliner at home and have a stiff drink. He was sitting at his desk with his laptop open, finishing up some last minute paperwork on a report he needed to submit to the Hero Public Safety Commission by Monday.

Just as he put the final signature on the last page, you came bursting through his office door, without knocking, of course. Not that he minded; it was always a treat to see you, even if you were a bit...distracting. Your shapely legs carried you briskly towards his desk and he couldn’t help but admire how enticing they looked sheathed in your sheer stockings. He almost missed what you were trying to tell him, too busy imagining them wrapped around his waist.

“Endeavor-san, I’m sorry to disturb you right before quittin’ time, but I just finalized the details of your appearance on Present Mic’s late night radio show for next weekend,” you chirped with no small amount of satisfaction. Ah, right; Enji had agreed to make time for that, considering Mic was very popular with the young crowd and an appearance on his show would do wonders for his popularity with that demographic.

“He promised to keep it light and casual, and most of the time block will be spent playing some music that you both enjoy. I cross-referenced his playlist with the list you compiled, and y’all have some bangers in common. We’ll need to go over your note cards again, but I’m sure you’ve got that part covered by now.”

Your eyes were focused on the folder in your hands, flipping through the papers there as you went over the last minute details. Enji’s eyes were watching you, though, and he found himself struggling to give a damn about Present Mic or his radio show. Not when you were standing before him, a radiant vision of smooth brown skin and a halo of curls. How badly he wanted to sink his fingers into them and tug your head back, make you submit to him…

“Endeavor-san, are you listening?”

The question coming from your pretty lips, in that sweet, but sharp voice, was enough to finally get his attention. He tore his gaze from your petite frame and looked up to see your dark brown eyes staring at him sternly. Enji coughed and shifted in his chair, trying to subtly adjust his now rock hard dick.

“My apologies, (Y/N), I’m a bit worn out from this week,” he hastily assured you. “If you wouldn’t mind emailing those notes to me, I will look over them again this weekend.”

Your expression softened and you tossed the folder onto his desk before walking around to the side and perching yourself on the edge. Enji could practically feel the blood rush to his dick with you sitting so close to him, the scent of your perfume immediately clouding his mind. Your already short skirt rode up even higher and he had to force himself to look you in the eye, which he regretted shortly after.

“Have I been riding you too hard, sir?”

Enji’s eyes narrowed slightly at you, thinking that you must be toying with him. But, your face was devoid of cunning, and you seemed genuinely concerned for his well-being. He wasn’t used to that kind of consideration from really anyone, especially not one of his employees.

“No, far from it. You probably take it a bit too easy on me, but you still produce amazing results. I would be completely clueless about this public relations crap if I didn’t have someone as bright and clever in my corner,” Enji rumbled, almost bashfully, the tips of his ears still pink from your accidental innuendo.

He had no way of knowing, but the feeling that Enji’s praise gave you was like a shot of adrenaline to you. Warmth bloomed in your cheeks, and you quickly began stuttering and trying to downplay your contribution. However, Enji was having none of it and reached out to grab your anxiously fluttering hands, which had the desired effect of shutting you up.

But, Enji didn’t stop there. He was tired of you not giving yourself enough credit. More than that, he was tired of only being able to show his gratitude in words. So, he took advantage of your size difference and tugged you into his arms and then settled you on his right thigh, forcing you to straddle the muscular appendage.

“E-Endeavor-san?!” you squeaked out. Your tiny hands were encased in his much larger ones and even that small bit of skin to skin contact was enough to set a fire low in your belly.

“Please, call me Enji. It seems a bit formal considering the things I want to do to you.”

“And what exactly do you want to do to me, Enji?” Your voice was low and breathless, but he could see the excitement clearly in your deep brown eyes.

He released your hands and let his own wander down the curve of your sides to settle on your hips. Still maintaining eye contact with you, he engulfed the soft flesh there with a gentle, but firm squeeze. You gasped softly and instinctually ground down against the flexing muscles of his thigh.

Enji growled lowly in his throat and took one hand off your hip, and reached up to bury it in the soft curls that framed your gorgeous face. At first, he gently massaged the scalp with his fingertips, but when he felt you relax, Enji used the curls at your nape to tug your head back.

He loved how small you were in his arms, how easily he towered over you and controlled your movements. And there you were, gasping and squirming in his lap, letting him touch you in such a dominating way. It stoked a fire within him that he hadn’t felt in a long while, urging him to make you fall apart under his touch.

“There are so many things that I want to do to this tight, little body,” Enji whispered against your throat. He placed a heated kiss there, followed by a gentle nip before continuing, “But, for now, I want you to ride my thigh.”

To his delight, you didn’t hesitate to start meekly rolling your hips forward, your skirt bunching up around your waist with the motions. Still, you seemed to be holding yourself back, and he was having none of that. Using the hand that was still gripping your hip, Enji forced you to press down harder and move faster. Getting the message, you braced your palms against his broad, solid chest and began grinding against him in earnest.

The filthy moans you let spill from your plump lips were music to Enji’s ears, and he struggled to refrain from just ripping your stockings off and sliding your down onto his aching dick. There would be plenty of time for that later, but in that moment, he wanted to make you felt just how appreciated you were.

“Come on, little sparrow, I know you’re close. I can feel you soaking my pants leg.”

The desperation and desire in his voice drove your lust even higher. That, combined with the friction of your nylon stockings against your bare pussy, had you teetering on the edge of release.

“Please, sir!” You didn’t know what you were asking for, but he seemed to. And he was going to make you beg for it.

“Please what?”

“I...I want you to fuck me, sir! Please let me cum on your dick,” you pleaded with a breathless whine, never ceasing your wanton grinding.

“Oh, you will be cumming on my dick. But, first, you’re going to make yourself nice and sloppy for me.”

Enji gripped your hair tighter and pulled your head back until your spine arched. Now, your nails were digging into the skin of his pectorals, but he didn’t care because the end result was you humping against him with reckless abandon. No longer needing to guide your movements, he reached up and wrapped his other hand around your delicate throat, squeezing just enough to make the blood rush to your head. That was just enough to tip you right over the edge.

“Oh, oh!” Your hips began to stutter slightly in their movements as your orgasm crept up on you. A scream that surprised you, but made Enji growl in triumph, was ripped from your throat as you bucked wildly through the peak of your release. Letting go of your tresses and throat, Enji pulled you gently into his chest and ran his hands soothingly down your back. As your body trembled and quaked through the vestiges of your orgasm, he murmured soft praises into the crown of your hair.

“You did such a good job for me, baby girl. I’m so proud of you and all your hard work. Are you ready for your reward now?”

Despite the fact that you had just cum your brains out, his words of praise had you moaning wantonly, your head bobbing lazily in consent. Enji wasted no time in standing you up between his legs, supporting your weight effortlessly as he slid his hands up your inner thighs towards the crotch of your stockings. A brief, but loud ripping sound echoed in the spacious office, and then you felt a cool breeze against your soaked lips. Enji took a moment to run a thick finger through your dainty folds, making you shudder and moan.

Enji considered having you ride him again, but a glance at the large sectional he had in the corner of the room gave him other ideas. Picking you up as if you weighed nothing, he carried you to the luxurious piece of furniture and laid you down on your back. He immediately covered your body with his own and locked his lips with yours, the kiss quickly turning heated. While your lips moved together with unrestrained passion, he busied himself with undoing his belt and slacks. Once he got them undone, he freed his aching length from the confines of his underwear, hissing at the sensation of the cool air hitting the too hot skin.

Pulling away from your soft warmth, Enji made you look him in the eye before he asked, “It seems a bit late to ask, but are you sure this is what you want?”

Thinking he was just being considerate, you smiled softly up at him and nodded in affirmation. He kissed you hard, one more time, before looking down to guide his more than impressive dick to your dripping entrance. As soon as he pressed the head in, you knew what he was really asking you before, which was whether you could handle being stretched to your absolute limit.

You threw your head back, pressing into the soft cushion underneath you, and struggled to breathe around the sensation of his girth splitting you open. It was a good thing he made sure you were wet enough beforehand, otherwise, you were sure that you wouldn’t have been able to take all of him.

Enji made sure to take his time pressing in and withdrawing, inch by inch, enraptured by the sight of your pretty pussy stretching around him. It was a couple minutes more before he was fully seated inside you, the head of his dick pressed snugly against your cervix. He paused his movements to press sweet, but rough kisses along your jaw and collarbones. You reached up and buried your fingers in his hair, applying the barest pressure to bring his face closer to yours so you could press your foreheads together.

“I’d really like for you to move now,” you panted softly. Sure, it was quite the stretch having him inside you, but it didn’t hurt and you were still filled with a burning desire to be wrecked by the giant hovering over you.

Withdrawing slowly, so slowly, Enji paused again to watch your face as he gave a quick, experimental thrust. The cry of pleasure you let out snapped his resolve to continue taking it slow, and he began to fuck into you with a vigor. All you could do is tighten your grip on his red locks and hold on for the ride.

“God, you feel so good wrapped around me. Do you have any idea how long I have wanted this? How many times I’ve fantasized about fucking into you like this, making you my little cumdump?”

Enji was actually caught off guard with how visceral your reaction was to his dirty talk. He didn’t think it possible, but you became even tighter around his dick, nails biting into his scalp, as well. You began trying to thrust back up against him, but he was having none of that. Enji pulled back just enough to take your legs and throw them over his shoulders so he could put you in a mating press.

“Oh gods, yes, just like this, Daddy!” you wailed loudly, tears gathering in the corners of your eyes. You were overwhelmed with the pleasure from his rigid member rubbing against your velvet walls with the new angle.

A groan that sounded like a snarl rumbled in Enji’s chest at the sound of your fucked out voice calling him ‘Daddy’. It made him want to grind his dick deeper into you, until all you could see, feel, or taste was him and the pleasure he was giving to you.

“Fuck, if you call me that again, I’m going to fucking cum and I’m not going to pull out.” He expected you to object, or something but instead, you attempted to pull him in closer with the strength of your legs alone.

“Please, please, please fill me up, Daddy! I want it all, please, give it to me!”

Pace quickening at your filthy words, Enji leaned forward until you were practically pressed in half and his thrusts had the tip of his dick bumping your womb with every plunge deeper. You were unable to even scream, the air knocked from your lungs and your brain foggy with thought-warping ecstasy.

“Goddammit, you’re gonna make me cum, baby. I’m gonna fill you up to the brim. Gonna make you round with my child. Is that what you want?”

All you could do was nod frantically, incoherent pleas and his name spilling from your drooling mouth in an endless stream. You would do anything, say anything, just to feel his hot cum paint your walls.

From the way you were clenching and pulsing around him, Enji knew that you were close to the precipice again already, and he was ready to tumble over right along with you. Letting go of the last bit of restraint holding him back, Enji captured your lips in a searing kiss and swallowed your cries of passion as he began to piston into your tight heat, chasing his orgasm and hurtling you towards yours.

A shrill scream muffled by his lips and the sharp tightening of your walls around him signaled to Enji that you were cumming, and he quickly followed after you. His powerful hips stuttered once, twice before he drove his entire length fully inside you and stilled, his head pressed to the opening of your womb. Much hotter than you were expecting it to be, spurts of cum that seemed endless gushed deep inside you, prolonging both of your orgasms to the point of over-sensitivity.

When you both finally came down and got your breathing under control, Enji slowly pulled out from you and gently eased your legs off his shoulders. He gathered you up in an embrace and flipped the two of you over so that you were laid on top of him, head resting against his chest. Again, he stroked your back and sides soothingly, murmuring words of praise and comfort.

For your part, you were fucking wiped, your heart still racing and brown skin dewed with sweat. You could feel cum leaking out of your abused hole, but could hardly be bothered to care with exhaustion and satiation weighing so heavily on your eyes.

With strong arms wrapped around you and every bone in your body feeling like marshmallow, you snuggled closer to Enji and fell asleep to the steady pulse of his heart in your ear.

#todoroki enji x reader #endeavor x reader #bnha smut #endeavor smut #todoroki enji smut #black reader

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betweentheracks · 4 years ago

Note

Hello and yay for this blog!!! I have a question :D. If a certain Chinese star were to wear jeans that say "my cock is gluten free" and "pull me down and fuck me," do you think his stylist would have chosen this knowingly, or do you think it's possible they just were like "hmm english words looks good" and didn't bother to look up the meaning? If they did know the meaning, would they have likely informed the star? Very desperate for the thought process behind this Choice hehehe. Thank you!

Ah, I was wondering hoping if I would get asked about those infamous jeans and here you are!

First and foremost; the following is all speculation from my experiences in the business and is wholly subjective.

It isn’t impossible that they weren’t aware of what was written on the jeans, but it also isn’t all that likely either. When you pull up these jeans on the Dsquared2 site there’s a listing of what is doodled and written on the jeans and it’s not something that would be overlooked by neither stylist nor client.

That said, Yibo does know some English and while he may not have known these words exactly, there’s more than enough ways of discerning their meaning. I would also bet half a year of my salary that his stylist would have known what was written here, or any number of personnel that works with them for that matter. I would also take into consideration that even if the jeans had slipped by all these people that may or may not have had the ability to see what was all over them, some of Yibo’s fellow idols should have (looking at you specifically, Seungyoun).

Setting this aside for a moment, I’ll go into who I think is responsible for the jeans being worn to begin with - Wang Yibo himself is the likely culprit.

Why do I think this? There’s many reasons but most are inconsequential while two points frame the scene as I see it.

This is markedly not a choice a stylist would make. Stylists, at the end of it all, are employees and therefore it shouldn’t be too surprising to know we have rules in place we must abide no matter if we are working outside the purview of the company we are housed under. Even when we work exclusively with a client, we are still taking the name of our company as well as our own with us and are operating as an extension of the brand the company promotes and promises. I don’t know of any company here (and I live in rather free faring place which welcomes eccentricities, mind) that would allow these jeans to be submitted as part of a pitch to either buy or borrow unless they were very specifically in line with a client’s public image and style. Technically these jeans would classify as offensive and profane which means they would invite trouble and cause a stir. While stylists are not associated much with the PR side of things we are still essentially a team playing for the same client - this selection, if gone badly, would be like asking for lightning to strike twice in one place at the same time. If a scandal amounted from them PR would have to handle it and that means the stylist would come under fire for making such a bold and risky choice, most especially with a younger client that thus far didn’t have the sort of image one would think to associate with jeans such as these.

The second reason is that, from what I can tell, this is in line with Yibo’s personality. He’s very serious about style and engages with it as he does most things; by overtaking it completely and rebranding it to suit him to the point that it makes one wonder if the style wasn’t designed with him in mind. He makes full use of what fashion is all about at it’s core; expression. These jeans in particular would have suited the Yibo of the time he wore them (2018, if I remember right?) as he was trying to break away from the image he held as a pretty boy with demure and soft looks which held the shock value of being in such contrast with his dancing and rapping. He’s mentioned before that he doesn’t really like being “cute/sy” and having to do things in the way of that since it’s not true to who he feels he is. Which, honestly, a lot of idols and stars go through this experience where they no longer wish to be constrained by the persona they play for the public and one of the most impactful means of going about it is to address the styling since it is the focal point of public image.

The Dsquared2 jeans don’t only say “my cock is gluten free,” there’s actually quite a lot to them and I think it would help if more were aware of it so here’s the description of them on the website:

D Squared Limited Edition Jeans. Sexy Twist Printed Low Rise. Fun, Evil Boy, Love Sucks, Pull Me Down, Open Me, Unzip, Buttons, Wine Is My Water, Tic Tac Toe, Dean & Dan, Sex, Gluten Free Cock, Hot Patches

The jeans actually say “pull me down and fuck me” right there on the ass, but naturally they can’t list the expletives in the marketing. Not strictly important to this post, but still worth mentioning given the hushed treatment of what the placement of such words could easily imply and the effect that could have had.

Anyway, the bit that is very telling in my opinion is that “evil boy” tag. I’m not terribly certain due to having never been fortunate enough to work with these jeans myself and the internet only has so many pictures from so many angles, but “evil boy” is either written somewhere (which I think is the case since there’s devil horns present as well) or they’re being promoted as such for aesthetic value. Regardless, I am fairly certain this would be the feature which caught Yibo’s eye. It’s on brand for someone seeking to shatter the conceptual ideal of being naive, innocent, youthful, or soft.

The jeans as a whole fit with Yibo’s sense of humor, as I’ve seen it at least. He lost his mind and fell into full laughter and hysterics over a dick joke, not even minding that he was being filmed or anything. He was still laughing about it even after the other hosts had moved beyond it, making them circle back around to it and in turn making it all the more hilarious for him to enjoy. You can see it clearly in the bts footage from the CQL set that he enjoys being mischievous and stirring things up and having a good time.

This is who he is, I believe, and it makes a lot of sense for him to have made this stylistic choice and then either convince his stylist to let him run with it or change out at the last second. Both of these are possible, though one of them is less probable than the other given how tricky it actually would be to sneak a wardrobe alteration past the many people that make up the staffing roster for any events, and then to be able to change in the limited time frame available between exiting the dressing room to being in the public sphere would be one in a thousand. Much simpler to goad your stylist into being lenient enough to give you free reign over your own styling - we can only hold out and say no when the grounds for it are met, which this wouldn’t have done in all likelihood - and most of the time we build up a good enough relationship and rapport with clients that we end up doting on them a bit and heed their requests when we can.

That’s all from me on this token moment in Yibo’s very stacked fashion history. Thanks for asking!

Furthermore, there’s the third possibility that this wasn’t a styling choice whatsoever. Or at least not one that involved the stylist in any real regard. It is very plausible that this was just Yibo in his own clothes, having dressed down after the main events wound down. I’ve never actually watched to see what that night looked like overall, but from the videos I have seen it looked to me like the actual do had passed and they were all just goofing around and having their own dance competitions and such when he was wearing them. I can’t say for sure that he did or did not have them on for the whole thing or if they were his own self packed casual wear. In which case it would fall back to his studio to tend to since stylists generally don’t hold authority over personal clothing choices and only ever have a hand in it when it is expressly stated in contracts or temporary clauses, and it just isn’t too common anymore.

Worth a quick mention for means of distinction, here in the US this choice wouldn't have raised many eyebrows no matter if it was chosen by an artist or a stylist. The only reason I feel it necessary to say this is simply because this is not so in China and that alone lends context to the controversy of these jeans. In the scope of conservatism these jeans are outrageous and I think that a stylist would steer clear of utilizing them at all if they value their job. This is why I don't consider it likely at all that Yibo and his stylist collaborated to make use of these jeans as a way to shake away the remnants of his pretty boy aesthetic.

#wang yibo #dsquared2 #racks asks

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anonymoushouseplantfan · 4 years ago

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Submitted:

Plant,

I have been reading in another forums and someone seems to have insider info. They do not say who/where the info is coming from, but enough of it matches to what we have read in tumblr that is not being discussed on Twitter or elsewhere. I included two comments from the poster. I found them to contain a bit more information. There was a third that the Times editor was wondering if the Sussex PR team released the email from Jason, hoping to drum up interest in the Oprah interview.

“I think we are going to see a lot of this he said she said storyline in the press for at least a month. I expect some of the palace staff and the Sussex security teams - possibly even some of the team in Australia will do interviews. And I feel that if they are not bound by NDA, let them - they are the ones that might be accused of bullying and racism in the Oprah interview. I have been told that M&H are under the impression that all of their staff and the rest of Kensington palace staff are under NDA - that is not true. Some were only placed on it after the Sussex’s left. There is also people who witnessed several events were are not members of staff - the part time security that was hired in Australia for the tour."

This makes a lot of sense that she thought she could say and do anything and they could not speak out.

”Exactly - I think Harry has worked it out in his head that they are attacking the institution and not the family, but essentially it is the same thing. I had been told that CBS is trying to find out if video or audio evidence exist and it the Times has it. If they do and it is out there - they might pull the interview. I told you that it was suspicious that CBS and Harpo people were talking to palace staff suddenly. They knew what was happening. “

Oprah isn’t happy. She may be opening herself & CBS up to a gigantic lawsuit.

Another thing readers may be interested to see is that the number of heavy H&M supporters is starting to fall. I hadn’t been to this forum for a while because it had turned into a Sussex worship forum. Today though, many people are questioning them. They are questioning the non-stop clapbacks, speaking out and constant barrage of MM having to spread her voice out as a self appointed leader of the free world.

____________________________________________________________________

Thanks!

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stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland · 4 years ago

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Award shows - ɟ

Heeeelloo, my fellow CS 👋🏼

The idea for this post came to me because I recently saw again that some fans still can’t explain some things about the awards, therefore, I’m going to briefly explain the things I’ve read on which they’re still confused about so that maybe I’ll automatically answer some questions you guys have too.

First of all, celebrities, whether they’re actors, singers, models, heirs, fashion mavens, aristocrats, etc., are notified months before they’ve been invited. Usually, the reason why they were invited is written along with the invitation. The reasons obviously vary. They may have been invited because they were nominated for an award, or because, and they may accept or decline, they were asked to present a category or a performance, or to interview someone on the red-carpet or backstage, or to perform, etc., etc. They can also be added as I like to say ‘+1’. But be aware, there’s a difference between being invited as a ‘+1’ and as a guest.

‘Are they not the same thing?’ you’re probably wondering. No, they are not. Being invited as a guest is simply that. A celebrity who invites their partner, or their kid, or one of their parents, or a friend, as indeed their guest. The +1, on the other hand, is a term that I’m using because I don’t think there’s one to describe when a person who is also a celebrity is invited by another one. You know the seats they show us with pictures of celebrities and how some seats next to it lack these pictures? Those seats without pictures belong to the celebrity guests or their team members. If a celebrity invites another one, then next to their picture there will also be that of the celebrity they invited. Aka, the term I’m using in this case: the +1.

I’ll give you an example:

I’m a singer and my fake PR boyfriend has to perform that night, but I don’t, and neither have I been nominated for any awards and therefore not even invited. Also to keep up appearances of our relationship, I get invited as his +1. This means that you’re gonna see my picture next to his in the seats and the cameras will film me for literally two seconds counted during his performance. It also means that my fake boyfriend and I will be wearing matching outfits, that we’ll arrive on the red carpet together, that I’ll have to show unnecessary PDA out of the blue while one of our managers films us to make us more believable and real, and that I’ll have to pretend to be happy to be his arm candy. Do I accept or do I not accept the invitation?

Yeah, of course I do. It’s a great idea actually, both to show people my support as a cheerleader for him, and as publicity. Publicity not only for us as a couple, but also for myself. Our management, and yes, we have the same management, has arranged interviews for me too on the red carpet, so why shouldn’t I accept that? Plus, I want to go. Helloo? We’re talking about an important award show. Not to mention that my girlfriend performs too the same night and has also been nominated for several awards, so it’s just an extra incentive to want to go and be able to support her. Oohh, how foolish of me. I apologize for my forgetfulness. My name is Lauren Jauregui and I’m talking about the American Music Awards 2018.

See what I did there? 😏😏😏

These events are very exclusive and have an invitation list. If you’re a celebrity and you’re not on the list, then it’s very hard for you to be able to attend. But there’s a way, and no, I’m not talking about finding a way to sneak in. The only other way to get there is by taking the place of someone who had been invited and couldn’t attend.

Let’s say you’re a celebrity and you want to go there. Let’s say you want to go because you’ve been out of the spotlight for a long time and want to make a big comeback with a beautiful dress to show yourself off. The first thing you do is call your publicist and see if there are still seats available. Not all celebrities can attend those events despite being invited because they may have other commitments, or they’re out of town, or I don’t know, they’re on tour or something like that. So there’s the possibility that you can have their seat. If there aren’t any, then your publicist themselves may be looking for another way to get you in. Again, for an X reason, the celebrity who was supposed to present an award cannot go, and therefore your publicist manages to get you the invitation as one of the presenters. If none of these options are possible, then.. well, I hope you enjoy the show watched in the living room of your home.

You want another practical example? Okay, okay, babies, I’ll content you 😏

Latin Grammy Awards 2019. Still me, Lauren Jauregui, hi 🙋🏻 🙈 I wasn’t invited. I had no reason to actually be there, except for one…

I didn’t even publicize and say on my social media that I’d have been there. It was so unexpected and awesome for you nuggets, wasn’t it? Well, my girlfriend was invited but she unfortunately couldn’t go due to other commitments. You can imagine how sad she was not only to not being able to attend, but also to not being able to perform with Alejandro who is one of the people in the industry that she loves and admires the most, right? You can imagine her pout and her kicked puppy face for not being able to sing the song she wrote and dedicated to her little sister, can’t you? Well, I couldn’t bear to see her that way, so I told her: ‘Don’t worry, babe. I gotcha. I’ll go for you. I’ll go to represent you’. Also because her team didn’t need to be there, not even to collect the award which I later discovered she won the same evening. Awards, my beautiful chickens, are shipped months after the night they are received.

And so it was. I went with Brenda (my manager). I got dolled up. I did my interviews, even teasing my fans about my new project with Tainy. I sat in my baby’s seat in the front row. THE FRONT ROW. Front rows are reserved for the evening’s award winners. They NEVER put the winners in the back rows because it would take them too long to get to the stage when their name is called otherwise. And I was there, for her. And in addition to enjoying the show, I tried to hold back my happiness, especially since there were cameras everywhere, both during Alejandro’s performance as soon as my love appeared on the screens, and when they won the Record of the Year. I swear I had to get a hold of myself. I had to restrain myself and concentrate on clapping my hands like a normal person and not smiling too big.

*end of the sketch*

As you may have noticed so far, these are the only ways to attend award shows if you are a celebrity. But, just because you’re a celebrity, there’s no guarantee that you get invited. And you certainly cannot show up there with the hope that they’ll let you in without being invited, or nominated, or without a ticket just because you’re ‘someone’. Security kicks your ass out no matter who you are.

Every year, hundreds of celebrities don’t make it onto the invitation list. Keep in mind that the ‘exclusivity’ of these events is also due to the seats. Take as an example precisely the Microsoft Theater in Los Angeles where the AMAs 2018 took place. It has 7,100 seats. These seats are reserved for people in the show’s broadcast network, the telecast’s sponsors, the production team, the accountants, the legal team, the donors, the representatives, the press and media in general, etc., and THEN for the invited celebrities including singers and their teams, so also their publicists, agents, managers, [and not even all of them have a reserved seat; maybe only one of them has it and the rest are backstage or in the dressing room or not really there], etc., actors, and as with singers, their teams, the team of people who worked on the film with them, etc. See how many people and how few seats?

I’m still not 100% sure about this but, Emmy’s, Oscars, Golden Globes, Tony’s, and Grammy’s are the only award shows where the names of the winners aren’t revealed until the envelope is opened live on stage. All the remaining shows? Pfft, it’s all an organized thing. What you see on TV, the reactions ‘Oh my God, did I win? I can’t believe it!’, ‘I really wasn’t expecting that’, they’re all fake. Yes, the emotion for the win is true, but everything else? It’s all bullshit. Winners are notified long, but very long time before that. Indeed, many award shows only invite winners to attend. Haven’t you ever noticed how in some of them the other artists nominated in that same category aren’t even there? If they happened to be there, it’s because it’s very likely that they had won another category, or were there for other reasons, like presenting a performance or whatever.

Aaaand I’m done 😎😝 I think I’ve answered pretty much all the questions I’ve seen on the subject, even though I haven’t seen them here. If you yourselves have questions about this or anything else (even if you want advice on a personal level), as I’ve already said other times, feel free to ask. I’m at your disposal 😊

And thank you, Mari. It has been a while since I’ve done this, but I hope you know that I’m serious every time I thank you. Therefore, thank you once again for virtually letting me into your world and thank you for letting me continue to have little spaces in your blog 🤗🤗🤗

Thanks also to you babies for reading, liking, and re-blogging my occasional posts. But thanks mostly for her. Thanks to those who follow my friend’s blog with the right intentions. That is, with respect and without attacking her. Thanks to those who follow her because you actually like her and the content she posts, and thanks to those who use their brains before asking or submitting something to her. Thanks for real 🙏🏼

I hope you’re all well and that your holidays are continuing with peace and serenity. Stay safe, please. Stay patient. Keep the boat afloat. As usual, always with love, F ❤️

P.S. since I’m currently on vacation for a few more days before having to go back to work, and since I have a little bit more free time, I’m preparing something else for you based on some information that I was able to found out. Stay tuned for the next post 😉 The initials of the title are U and S, so you’ll know when you see it. Byee 😘

___

I was smiling with every word of this submit. Thanks for this clarification, F. It was awesome as usual

#submission #f anon #awards shows

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phynali · 4 years ago

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so not to ruminate on things that vex me, but the past 2 or so months have been kinda shit, and i’m trucking along and there absolutely are high points and good things and joys that balance some of this out, but i need to vent out some of the negative emotions somewhere to get ‘em out. so i guess i’m doing that here because -

we’re in lockdown#6 where i live (state of victoria) and it’s hard, this yo-yo of restrictions and swinging in and out of one lockdown after another.

for those who understandably won’t know, what we call lockdown here means not just restaurant and commercial closures and mandatory working from home unless you’re in an industry where that’s impossible -- it also means no guests (0) inside you’re home unless you’re both living alone and single or else romantic partners, it means not leaving your home at all except for one of 4-5 necessary reasons, not being outside for more than 2hrs per day even to exercise, and not going more than 5km from your home unless required for work/medical/etc required reasons.

it’s intense. we spent (i think) 128 days in this degree of lockdown in 2020, never mind how many we spent in other forms of restrictions and working from home. and we’ve been back in it four (4) times in 2021 already. in-out-in-out-in-out -

it’s taking a toll on the mental health of every person i know. we get weekly emails with wellbeing and resilience tips from my job -- not just “be productive or else” capitalism but heartfelt ones from wellbeing officers with copies of articles like this one on languishing from the NYT, acknowledging we’re all struggling and directing us to the plethora of wellbeing resources our workplace is trying to provide, not only to us but reminding us they offer it to our families too.

i’m one of the lucky ones. i’m really not trying to wallow here or to pretend otherwise. i appreciate that i can work from home, even though i can’t focus when i do and it this interacts with my adhd to fuck my productivity. even if i’m so behind and delayed it feels like i’ve lost 12-18 months worth of work and it will have long-term ramifications on my career -- even so, i still i have a job. i still get paid. and i even kept my job, a bit by the skin of my teeth but i did, when my sector downsized last year. yes, the way my employer went about lay offs left a bad taste in everyone’s mouth (my own included), but i made it through.

and my sector, while affected, is by no means the worst of the collateral damage.

the yo-yo of lockdowns is taking a very very real toll on industries like hospitality, tourism, commerce. and the economy does have indirect effects on health and mental health as well. my friend, a waitress, was on her way to work the evening shift at a restaurant when she got the call about the latest lockdown. she had to turn around and go home because the announcement came just hours before the lockdown was imposed, and every place suddenly had to close by 8pm. bye bye evening shift. so much of the government support for these industries has dried up, has been inadequate.

lockdowns save lives. i don’t begrudge my state for imposing one except that yes -- i’m resentful we’re here again with only six cases. i can be both accepting and grateful and also pissed and tired and more all at once.

even more than the latest lockdown, i’m pissed about the yo-yo. that we went into lockdown in june, came out in july, went back in in july, came back out in july, are going back in now, in the first week of august. three lockdown/re-openings in 10 weeks, as if this rollercoaster doesn’t completely incapacitate our ability to plan or prepare for anything more than a week out, more than a day out -- in this case, more than a few hours out. 4pm the lockdown was announced, with an 8pm start time. as if that doesn’t have more insidious consequences on individuals and industries than a more clearly articulated and consistent approach. as if all the restaurants that got to open up this week didn’t purchase large food orders for this weekend that will spoil because they were given 4 hours notice to close their doors.

that’s the part i hate, right now more than the lockdowns themselves. consumer sentiment was at a high in april, optimism was everywhere. people felt good, and like we had a plan forward. now -- well, now my job is sending me emails about how normal and okay it is that i might be ‘languishing’ because aren’t we all?

and i absolutely do begrudge my federal government, and i’m angry with them, and this is part of why:

youtube

but i also accept, to some extent, that these decisions have all been made in difficult circumstances, and i’m not really about to pretend i could do any better.

at the same time, australia’s vaccine rollout is among the slowest and lowest at least within OECD countries. i know that’s partly because we’ve managed the keep cases low and therefore we are prioritized less when it comes to who needs the vaccines most (and thus who is earlier in line to be able to purchase) among other geo-political reasons i won’t get into, but it still very much sucks. our timeline and ability to move forward and ability to stop having lockdowns requires a mostly-vaccinated population, and that’s not something we’ll have anytime soon.

and i am a visa-holder here and my family is back in canada and with our current border restrictions leaving to visit is honestly is not an option because i wouldn’t be able to return, to work. i’m managing that distance okay most of the time despite my homesickness and frustration but my partner’s parents are older and his mother’s health just isn’t amazing and it’s weighing on him a lot.

a phd student i work with just had a parent die in another country while stuck here, had to drop everything to return, is devastated by not being by their parent’s side when it happened because it came on sudden, and now won’t be able to come back into australia after, will have to finish their thesis remotely from abroad. stories like that are becoming commonplace in certain circles, here. this student is not the first or only person i know who has been in that exact situation in the past year.

it’s enraging, and upsetting, and instills a sense of helplessness because -- there’s nothing that can really be done about it. there’s no good answer, but it’s scary to think of what could happen. i know it scares my husband. if his mother’s health suddenly dips -- does he drop everything and leave? how can he not? would i go with him or hold the fort here? what ramifications does that have either way?

right now, we’re in the first stages of getting permanent residency, my job is putting in the nomination, and this is one of those awesome high-points i mentioned. it’s a very much needed sense of security in my career and my future in this country. but while a PR application is pending and under review, you can’t leave the country, even in pre-covid times. it takes months to get the application fully nominated, accepted, then submitted, and months on months to process.

in january 2020 we had agreed that for xmas 2020 we’d return home to canada. obviously the world changed and we quickly determined that wouldn’t be the case. we pushed that plan back to july-aug 2021, then to october 2021, xmas 2021. my partner’s sister asked him last week if we started making plans, booking things for xmas, was calling to check that we’d had our second jabs. he had to explain the situation to her, that we aren’t even eligible for our first vaccine yet, that we aren’t holding out any real hope of visiting, not this year, not until mid-next.

anyway - i’m just. languishing, i guess, if that’s the word for it after all. i know it’s not the same as depression -- i’ve had episodes of that, been treated for it in different ways. this is and feels different, even if there are obvious similarities. whatever to call it, it sucks, and i hate it. and i hate the other lows and anxieties and crap i’ve been dealing with in the past few months as well that didn’t make it into this post about covid. crap with work, with friends, with goddamn car rentals of all stupid things. crap that’s making me anxious and crap that just needs processing. crap that is, ultimately, massively exacerbated because lockdowns turn us into little rats gnawing on the bars of our cages.

and i guess i just needed to talk about it somewhere, to organize my thoughts and free up some headspace (emotion space?) currently being used to hold these thoughts and feelings in place. i kind of hate posting personal crap like this and always get the urge to delete but i also have a hard time organising my thoughts if i don’t write them out with this intent to post. sort of want to go outside and scream at god, sort of want to phone up a friend and yell at him for an hour for being an exhausting ass, sort of want to be alone for a day to curl up under a blanket with a movie that’ll make me cry because raging at the universe is always so much easier when i’m alone and unobserved. but i guess since those aren’t especially kind or feasible i’ll post this instead.

anyway - if you read to the end of this for any reason, i’m not trying to be maudlin, and there’s really no need to respond. it’s just a feelings dump, sucking some of the poison out, not really much different than journalling but i’ve always been better at that online than on paper.

#ugh #personal post #just organising thoughts and bitching about present circumstances #because i'm tired of 2021's bullshit and needed to vent a bit #gpoy

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arcticdementor · 3 years ago

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In recent years Western society has given rise to the proliferation of a novel subspecies sometimes referred to as the bugman. The microcosm of the intellectually and morally decaying contemporary technological dystopia, this bugman is mentally and physically insipid, oversocialized, and undertested, devoid of purpose and even individual character. In my capacity as a freelance cultural entomologist, I previously analyzed the figure here. Comparable to the Nietzschean Last Man, we can think of him as a debased, shriveled puppet of the neoliberal elite.

As a result of the Covid agenda, however, the bugman has mutated into something almost unrecognizable. His familiar open-mouthed smile has been muzzled by white polypropylene and the childish glee in his eyes replaced with a look of unprepared apprehension. His life is now defined by an omnipresent feeling of dread that has infiltrated his mind through the array of digital screens he switches between throughout the day. What has happened is the bugman has been patched.

The new software update includes a brain augmentation which more deeply intertwines the bugman’s synapses with the media industrial machine. What we previously called the ‘small-souled’ bugman — the term is borrowed from the Aristotelian idea of being small in mind and spirit — is now almost extinct, outcompeted by the new bugman variant. What we have now is the ‘fear-addled’ bugman, a new generation model that disrupts feelings of self-confidence and independence to extraordinary new extents.

Plugged into the feed of social media-generated news, the bugman had initially been alarmed by ominous clips showing a plague wreaking havoc in China. At first his instinctive fears were soothed when trusted sources brushed off the threat and stressed the greater threat of racism. Soon enough, however, these same sources changed their tune and cranked the bugman’s panic levels to eleven, where they have remained ever since. Facing the most extensive and pervasive psychological campaign in human history he hunkered down at home to help flatten the curve. Lockdowns weren’t so bad, he thought, working now from home in his pajamas. They had given him a chance to reflect on life and watch shows on Netflix, order overpriced fast food from Uber Eats, and toy with the gizmos in his studio apartment. As some began to recognize the virus itself was not the biggest problem, the bugman entertained himself with pure escapism. In an astonishing twist, he cheered as schools were closed, business owners had their lives destroyed, and mask compliance became total. A surveillance tech fanatic, the fear-addled bugman welcomed the announcements that the new technocratic order was intending to impose an all-consuming social credit score. Whatever keeps us safe, he said, whatever keeps us safe…

…

Demands to “get vaccinated before it’s too late!” and assertions that “we’ve always had vaccine passports” filled the bugman’s timeline as governments stripped away rights and the new normal industry ballooned into a trillion-dollar cash cow. This is perhaps the most abject thing about the fear-addled bugman. He has willingly made himself into the totalitarian state’s PR officer free of charge. He recites the official line word for word, one unthinking tendril of the great media beast that swallowed up the entire culture, and he blinks. Most strikingly, the bugman seems to be incapable of either seeing or acknowledging the vast contradictions and inconsistencies in the crumbling narrative. He seems unable or unwilling to make even the most obvious connections, interpret the most basic data, or form arguments of substance. Does he actually believe the bizarre official story or is he playing a sick political trick? He will tell you repeatedly that you are, quite simply, just plain stupid. The whole thing is so strange that we cannot rule out the possibility of it all being an elaborate revenge fantasy.

…

The bugman often felt anxiety before the roll-out of the pandemic due to his inability to exert control. Now the impudent resistance — even breezy nonchalance — of the disobedient and non-compliant provokes extraordinary rage. He does not fully grasp why they have not submitted, like he has. He finds it hard to imagine a being who cares more about liberty than being able to go to a pop music concert. Angry and humiliated, he blurts out the wish that has harbored his whole life: “Round them up, put them in a camp, segregate them from society, force it on them at gunpoint!” Afterwards he finds that he feels calm.

Of course the bugman, like all champagne socialists, never did really care about ‘equality’. That was always just a strategy for political power, which was useful at the time. But the new normal has made possible a whole new level of retribution against the strong. The fear-addled bugman has made an important contribution to the biggest and the darkest psychological experiment ever conducted on mankind. Combining a total lack of understanding with unwavering compliance reminiscent of the Milgram experiment, he will be studied in the history books for centuries to come.

It is tempting to think that the fear-addled bugmen do not exist except as Chinese bots or trolls. But they do exist, and they are growing. Physically pitiful though they are, beating them will not be easy on a battlefield on which the bugman holds all the institutional aces. But what value is a man who, rather than taking pride in protecting hearth and home, cowers before an imaginary omnipresent virus? The bugman feels his lack of worth, and his ressentiment manifests as a rejection. Whatever else, everyone else, must not be allowed to get on with their lives.

#adam winfield #im1776

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forkanna · 4 years ago

Link

[AO3] [WATTPAD]

"Come on, don't be mad," Rise insisted for the hundredth time as they waited for the train to come through. They had been there for a few minutes, bags in hands and feet impatient. At least they a few CDs apiece, and a poster that Rise hoped would do for Chie's gift, even though it was Bruce Lee's Enter The Dragon instead of Sonny-Sammy-whoever.

"Why not? My feelings are just as valid as yours."

"And it wasn't my fault! Like, you heard me try to tell him I didn't want any attention!"

"False modesty. I mean, I bet you say shit like that all the time, just so you look like a precious little princess."

The train going the opposite way whipped past, and she watched Ai's pink dress flutter for a moment until the din died down. Then she said in a quiet voice, "You want to be left alone? I will leave you alone. I just don't think that's what you really want."

"You were going to ditch me anyway. What does Risette want with some small-town teen queen when she's Japan's teen queen? It would happen sooner or later."

"Do you want me to apologise for your friend getting star-struck?"

"He was my friend first. And I mean, not that we're close, just that he's someone I-"

"Because I won't."

Ai blinked a couple of times before turning to look at her properly. "What did you just say?"

"I'm not going to apologise," Rise repeated firmly, her own features severe and intense now. "Remember me telling you I didn't even submit my first idol contest application myself? I never asked for all this. I have enjoyed it, sure — who wouldn't? But it's not 'my fault' people go crazy for celebs. Besides, I even tried to tell that guy not to make a big deal, to just let me hang out with my friend, and he kept fangirling anyway. My input clearly doesn't matter, so I am taking zero responsibility for him being an otaku. Do you understand?"

The other girl looked completely thunderstruck. In fact, she had no words. The train arrived shortly afterward, and they both got on without speaking, grasping for overhead straps as the doors slid shut.

It wasn't until they got off at the Yasoinaba station and Rise had started striding for the steps, feeling like a failure, that she felt her hand grasped from behind. She turned to slap whatever creep had grabbed her, but the creep was Ai, so she decided not to hit her. Yet.

"What?" No answer. Ai was too busy staring down at the space between their shoes. "Come on, it's getting late… I can still work a shift at Marukyu if you let me g-"

"I'm sorry!" she burst out, then cleared her throat to try again. "I apologise, Rise."

"What?"

"Shut up, don't make me say it again. I overreacted and I already feel stupid."

Cranking up the bubbliness to eleven, she gushed, "Oh noooo, I don't think I heard you at aaaaalllllll. What was that, Ebi-chaaaan?"

"Sh-shut UP!"

"Do you wuv meeeeee?" This time, Ai did yank her hand away and begin to stomp off down the steps, leaving a giggling Rise to chase after her.

"Like you said, have fun at Marukyu."

"You were a meanie," she told her, still laughing just a little. "I think I get to tease you a little."

"I don't like it. And I have explained why."

"Yeah. Your grade school classmates weren't teasing you, though. They were mocking you."

"Same fucking difference."

Jogging to walk side-by-side with her, despite Ai occasionally picking up speed to try and outstrip the idol, she went on, "Not really. Friends tease. Bullies mock… or sometimes hurt you physically. Did you ever get hurt like that?"

"Well… yeah, I did. But it's been a while. I mean, certainly not since elementary."

"Well that's good. I'll try not to tease you too much, but like, it's not going to work if I can't tease you. Because friends do that, and leaving that out would make this kinda fake. Right?"

Ai raised an eyebrow and glanced over at her. "I… do not follow that logic at all. You're weird."

"I'm not," she giggled, leaning down to smile up at her. "C'mon, it's fun. And I promise-promise I'll try to keep an eye on it so I don't make you feel really bad, and you might even get used to it. And that might help you with that 'everybody's tone is mocking' thing you feel."

"So let me get this straight. You think by teasing me, you're doing me a favour by desensitising me to people being jerks?"

"Right!"

"And that's 'friendship'? Putting me through that gauntlet?"

"Yup! I'm pretty great, right? My generosity is limitless!"

Finally, the grumpy girl laughed as they got to the bus stop, plopping down on the bench with their bags next to their feet. "Whatever. You're insane."

"Maybe. Or maybe I'm amazing and it just looks insane."

"Two sides of the same coin."

"So… I didn't wanna ask in front of 'the expert', but what was all that in the CD store? You two were off in your own little world there."

Ai's face was already flushed from being annoyed earlier, and all that power-walking. But it definitely didn't get any less rosy as she fidgeted, playing with the hem of her dress. "That's… it's stupid."

"Might be. But we're friends, we have to share stupid interests and stuff."

"You're really starting to be a pain with this 'friend' thing all the time." But Rise was patient. And eventually… "It's… something left over from my mother."

"Your mother?"

"Yes. She, um, she used to really love those old city pop singers; had so many records. Her fave was Mariya Takeuchi; just had really fond memories from her childhood, and she used to play them for me all the time."

A sinking feeling settled into the pit of her stomach. "Your mom… is she, u-um…?"

"Hm? No, she's alive. Probably." Ai looked extremely conflicted for a moment before heaving a deep sigh. "She moved out at the beginning of last year."

"Moved out? Like… a divorce?"

"Not officially. Yet. But it seems like it's going to be a matter of time." When Rise opened her mouth to reply, she was quick to cut her off. "Look. After my dad got rich overnight, I wasn't the only one who changed. We all did. But my mother seemed to resent it, even though we were all different afterward — including her hypocritical ass. Said she couldn't stay in the house with her b- with us, because we were like strangers now. And I…"

Rise gave her a few seconds to finish the thought. When she didn't, she reached over with her free hand to take up Ai's in a gentle grip. That seemed to encourage her to continue.

"It's my fault. For changing too much, for no longer being the child she raised. And I got so angry with her, said a lot of things I can never take back… I drove her away. Like I tried to do to you. So you see? Might as well ditch me now before I treat you like shit one day."

As if she hadn't already. But saying that was not productive, so she focused on the subject at hand. "Hey… I don't think that's right." When the other girl began to sigh, she pushed on, "No, listen. She's your mom, right? She's the adult — her and your dad, I mean. Of course if she's telling you she doesn't like how you have changed because you're growing up, like, you're gonna get mad. She's supposed to be the one who can figure out you're just mad and you'll get over it, or whatever."

"That sounds great, but I don't think it works that way in the real world."

"Maybe not this time, but it's how it's supposed to work. So don't go around hating on yourself for something she needed to do better."

Finally seeming to realize her hand was being held, she turned to blink at her new friend, brow furrowed. "I don't… know… I guess I wasn't expecting you to be this… genuinely…"

"Awesome?" she attempted with a small smile as the bus arrived. "Pretty? Hot as hell?"

"Nice. Even to a huge bitch like me."

Once they had both paid their fare and chosen a seat in the back, Rise whispered, "Listen. We're going to have to get used to each other. But we should probably get to know each other if we really want a shot at that." She chewed on her thoughts for a moment as they rode into Inaba. "Mmmm, did you know I actually really like helping out at Marukyu?"

"Hadn't really thought about it." After a second, she relented, "Okay, I guess I thought it was just some kind of PR stunt. But don't read too much into that."

"You're fine," she giggled as she snaked her arm around Ebihara's elbow, ignoring the fresh twitch it earned her. "But yeah, it's probably weird, but I actually really enjoy frying up the ganmodoki myself. Getting my hands dirty, helping clean up, straighten up, checking on my grandma…"

Though Ai had been ramrod straight like a tin soldier ever since they linked arms, she slowly began to relax the more she listened to Rise. "Well yeah, I guess I get that. She's family and you probably missed her while you were off dazzling the world."

"The world? Please. I mean, I do have a handful of fans in Korea and China, but none any further than that. I'm not that special."

"You are. They just can't see it past the language barrier."

"Awwwww…"

"I regret everything," she grumbled. But of course, Rise was still giggling as they slipped off the bus and onto the sidewalk, a lot closer to their sleepy little city.

"Hey, can I come over and listen to my CD at your place? I don't have a CD player anymore."

"Then… why did you buy- never mind. You probably have even more disposable income than I do."

Rolling her eyes, she bumped Ai just enough so that they both stumbled the tiniest bit. "Dork! I only accepted because he was so happy to be doing us a favor. And I figured hey, I might as well pick something I wanted instead of just a couple of random CDs I didn't care about. These are souvenirs now."

"Ah yes. Souvenirs of the time you had to put up with a raging harpy."

"Wow! Like, you really only have two modes, don't you? 'Meanie' and 'Depression Fest 2012'."

But apparently, that had been the wrong thing to say. Rise was just trying to tease like she always did; it was part of her job. The more she teased, the more she played, the more fun people had. The more fun they had, the better mood they were in. The better their mood, the more likely they were to capitulate to whatever the terms were — those of her manager, or herself. And it had all worked out, because she wanted friends so badly and everyone around seemed to become her friend when she treated them that way. Even if the friendships didn't last.

But this time, it silenced Ai so completely that she found herself checking on her every few seconds as they walked along. What did she say? Had it really been that much worse than anything else so far? Eventually, she wound up stopping to pull her into a gentle hug.

"God… it's not- you don't have to do that."

"I'm sorry. You know I'm playing with you, right? Just playing! But if I'm really hurting you…"

Ai shook her head and dropped her bags so she could cling to her, burying her face in those mauve locks. "Shhh, you're fine. I… you don't have to do this. Any of it. But you're not screwing up as bad as you think you are, I'm just a bitch. Sorry for all these constant reminders."

"It's okay." Especially because Ai was so warm. This hug nearly undid all of the pain and strife they had put each other through over the course of a scant few total hours they had spent in each other's company.

And Rise didn't seem to be the only one who thought as much. Those arms tightened on her back, practically clinging to her as they soaked up each other's warmth. Why did this feel so right? They were all wrong for each other as friends, if all their bickering was any indication, yet a simple hug was like a dream come true. Ai smelled so good, expensive perfume mingling with soft skin just on the other side of that dress.

Even though the lace on Ai's choker was tickling her nose. Eventually, that made it twitch, and then she giggled as she shivered in an attempt to suppress a reaction.

"What?" Ai asked, confused.

"The lace tickled. You wear that thing all the time and I don't know why." It prompted a quiet sigh from the taller girl, so Rise skipped backward, hands in the small of her back. Maintaining a high energy level for their day might distract her from whatever demons she was battling internally. "C'mon! I'll race you to Junes!"

"Wha- hey, wait a minute, what about our bags? You don't expect me to carry all this!"

Maybe part of her motivation for taking off running and leaving Ai to carry all of their purchases was to instill a little more humility in the prissy girl. Or maybe she just wanted to do something carefree. Either way, her friend did scoop up the bags before taking off running after her.

~ o ~

"NOOOOO, give it back!"

"We've had enough of this weird thing!" Chie cackled as she ran away with Teddie's bear mascot head, holding it aloft while the blond boy himself chased after her. Rise leaned back in the food court chair and laughed her head off. Yes, she knew the head meant a lot more to him than just part of some costume; they all knew that, except for Ebihara. But he had been up to his usual mischief, saying he was going to "score" with Yukiko simply because she let him have some of her french fries. He obviously spent a little too much time listening to Yosuke.

"You guys are too much," Kanji sighed, face-palming as he leaned heavily against the table. But he didn't do anything to stop Chie and Yosuke throwing it back and forth, either.

"I have to say, this is a bizarre group of people to have come together," Ai commented as she sipped at her smoothie. Maybe she still wasn't ordering a ton of junk food, but she had insisted that a smoothie was really "cheating on her diet" considering that before she had met Narukami, she probably would have ordered a diet soda and no more. Their bags were stashed under their chairs until they headed home later — except for the poster. That was safely tucked beneath Yukiko's chair, once all the excessive bowing and thanking was over with, and Rise had refused to accept any money from her. She was just happy to help out her friends.

"I suppose so," Naoto conceded with a sage nod, hand at her chin as always. "From the outside looking in, it would seem strange to anyone."

"So how did you all meet, then? Bizarre multi-grade class project?"

There was definitely a pause. None of them were quite sure what excuse to come up with; only that they had to think of something to tell her that didn't involve supernatural hijinks. That would only send the average person running for the hills.

"Remember the Midnight Channel?" Yukiko began.

"Yukiko!" Kanji blustered. But she forged ahead, undeterred, and Rise felt her thighs clench beneath the tabletop. Moment of truth…

"Well, that murderer who killed Miss Yamano and the others? We knew he was somehow using the TVs to announce his next victims. Not only that, but my own kidnapping made it impossible to ignore for all of us; myself, obviously, but Chie and the others couldn't just wait for someone else to put a stop to it once our friends were becoming targets. We started investigating on our own since the police didn't seem to have any leads. And when Naoto-kun came to town and began to work with the police directly, we all sort of… found each other, thanks to that common goal."

Wow. Ai wasn't the only one dumbfounded; the others at the table found themselves impressed that she had come up with such a believable almost-truth on the spur of the moment like that.

"Th-that's amazing," Ai finally said, still blinking rapidly to try and dispel her shock. "I didn't know the rest of you were also detectives."

"Not very good ones," Rise provided with a little awkward laugh. "But all of us putting our heads together, we were finally able to figure out it was that creep Adachi. The power of teamwork!"

"Hey, you don't have to keep calling her 'Naoto-kun'," Kanji suddenly said with a slight frown at Yukiko. "We know she's a chick now, don't be disrespectful."

While Yukiko was looking regretful and beginning to bow to offer an apology, Naoto smiled and patted the tall boy on the bicep. "It's fine. In fact, I'm much more comfortable with that than I ever could be with something feminine like 'Nao-chan'. Just doesn't suit me."

Even as Rise was calling out "NAO-CHAAAAAAAAAAN" in a loud, carrying voice and throwing her arms around the stoic girl, prompting some flustered shovings, Ai was smiling across at the junior detective prince. "Naoto-kun it is. Obviously we want you to be comfortable."

Both the sentiment and the smile were so unexpected from Ai Ebihara that everyone stopped to look at her. After a second or two, she cleared her throat and went back to sipping at the dregs of her smoothie.

"Thank you, Ebihara-san," Naoto finally managed as Rise dropped back into her seat.

"Of course. See? I'm not a cunt all the time."

"Never said you were," Rise cooed as she pinched her cheek.

"HEY! Didn't I tell you to stop getting so physical with me? My face is the real money maker and so help me…"

Things only devolved from there. Kanji was apologizing profusely for presuming too much, Naoto was trying to assure him she didn't mind either, Yukiko had lapsed into another uncontrollable giggle-fit when she noticed Chie and Yosuke had started throwing Teddie himself back and forth. And Ai… was laughing and smiling. Not much; she still looked a little out of place there, not quite sure how she fit into the group of friends.

But she was starting to. Sometimes, a modicum of progress was the best you got.

To Be Continued…

#we'll face ourselves #forkanna writes #saphir de lune #persona 4 fanfiction #p4 fanfic #jess the writer #ai ebihara #rise kujikawa

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nehilistuniverse · 4 years ago

Text

I DUNNO

How do I explain people that I actually do not know the reason why I can’t be strong in front of women sexually and give in to easy because my bitch ass was groomed by a bunch of females so I have no boundaries there and do the most hyper sexual things.

I do have my suspensions on pride’s hypersexuality he talks like every person who ever got violated as a kid...

Maybe I am assuming and wrong and men are naturally on that level but I do worry about him and envy but maybe it’s the hormones.

I need to stop being so nosy and curios especially about an asshole that’s now had a whole ass funeral in my mind. Though death by infinite number of slaps but still.

I NEED TO KNOWWWWWW

I OVERTHINK A LOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

IMMA DIE OVERTHINKING

BITCH GO STUDY

Naah me still more hyper sexual lmaoooooo I am just too good at controlling myself because I anyway fear men and don’t trust them because they aren’t worth the trust anyway.

Yeahhhhh

I am running away aren’t I?

But the curiosity regarding these things is infinity I just need clarity and I won’t sleep properly until then because genuinely something funny is going on AND I NEED TO KNOW.

I am more of a go with the flow kind but I needddddd tooooo know or I am going to go bonkers. I swear I have not been able to study just because I have useless questions and I CAN’T CONCENTRATE I JUST CAN’T IT’S LIKE THAT ONE MANGA CHAPTER THAT I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR FROM THE PAST 6-7 YEARS

I HAVE NO PAITINCE I USED TO HAVE IT BUT I INVESTED IT ALL IN WAITING FOR MANGA RELEASE AND ONE THING I HAVE LEARNT FROM THAT IS NEVER WAIT FOR THEM FUCKING MANGA RELEASES THERE MIGHT NEVER BE ONE AND YOU WILL END UP MISSING OUT ON BETTER MANGAS.

IT REMINDS ME DID THEY EVER UPLOADED WALLFLOWER’S NEW CHAPTER BECAUSE I WILL REREAD IT IF NOT

FUCK REAL LIFE SUCKS ASS I WANT MY MANGAS BACK AND HOW DARE THEY STOP THEM FUCKING FREE SITES?!

I AM LOSING MY MIND SLOWLY AND DESENTING INTO MADNESS I AM VERY CLOSE

naah I am just being overdramatic and writing just for the heck of it. Isn’t that what I always do? Write whatever I want just for the heck of it because I like how it makes me feel less useless and how I am able to communicate without hesitation. I do take it too far at times because I enjoy it a lot BUT

I am never making this my profession it’s my sanity. If it becomes the very thing I run away from again I will break someone’s neck.

I do not want to be dictated what I have to write and what I should do in order to come up with the idea and how I am supposed to research

and I very specifically remember asking manjhi’s writer his process for coming up with the character’s personality and the way he went into details. Bruh. Also what do you mean the whole story should come in that 4 page that’s your script and only that’s accepted.

I swear my college made me hate writing. It just did. Somehow it made me realize the moment this becomes my profession and I start or go into technical writing or PR or anything of that kind I will lose my coping mechanism, my escape, my little heaven and I would not be able to forgive myself for that ever.

I am genuinely writing just for the heck of it and feels so free. I do imagine how beautiful and calming it must be typing on a typewriter.

I will buy myself one. Some day I will. I do not know but after watching the little woman I suddenly started missing writing but I am scared. It’s like I am never able to figure out what I want my character’s personality to be like and how do I keep it consistent through out and how do I channelize different voices for different characters?

And how does one do that? That too consistently because the only way to ever pull that off is to write consistently. Consistency suckssssssss. That’s one thing I genuinely want to learn. The art of being consistent without taking anyone’s help.

I am genuinely tired. Imagine being sponsored by a company that sells typewriters. I remember how I used to be crazy about writing once upon a time and was so determined to make it my “profession” what a silly child I was.

My dreams demand more and so does my family at least for now and I genuinely can’t write without having to suffer through the pain of a monotonous life because writing is essentially my escape. If it stops being that ever again I will lose it.

I mean I have seen how other writers live as book bloggers on youtube. The highly notorious “BookTube” is filled with those who can afford expensive books and the goddamned book shelves. Book heaven and almost all have those tiny what is that company’s name Branes and nobles? I guess? The have their tiny harry potter figurines. Also everyone just suggests expensive books. I though still adored illumine files. I am yet to read the other two books in the series.

You know what I miss the most? Metro rides to my college. I genuinely miss being sleep deprived shaky and standing waiting for a seat to clear so I can sit. Even that used to be a game. Always stand near the pole in the middle so you can see in the front but also see the seats behind you in the reflection of the mirror.

The being the first one to be able to grab that seat, taking out your earphones turning the music on loud and taking out a book from your bag so you can hide your face and forget about the crowd. I miss the yellow light.

I miss metro so much. It used to be my second home. My ticket to freedom. I remember coming home late at 8 and running from the metro station till the gate to my “campus”

There was a distance of 1 km approx.? I remember freaking out only to find out that my parents were out shopping. I don’t think they know the amount of times I have reached home by 8-8:30

You see my parents are strict and will never let me be out when it has started to get dark. I miss my freedom.

I don’t want to go out and explore the society there way too many people always walking at any given time. I miss empty streets. I miss being forced to walk for 3-4 kms just to save money by kushal. I miss how he used to act like my big brother in this awful place where I was left to fend for myself.

I even miss that one birthday I missed. I was not awake on my 19th birthday xD I technically was. Actually it was supposed to be my first birthday so I had spent the whole night before planning but suddenly there was this message to submit fees at my college. So I went to my college with a poorly made check. Mind you my college is 30 kms away from the place where I used to live. It took me 45 mins to reach my college. I went there with no cheque book. They straight up refused to take it so I had to travel back and get my cheque book xD I did the whole thing and bought myself a bottle of milkshake.

I went back to hostel and asked this “Friend” of mine to wake me up after this time in case I don’t come out because I really want to celebrate my birthday. Technically either the friend group or your floor mates are supposed to make you cut cake at 12 but I didn’t realize this back then and this bitch she knew but didn’t care she was using me as a person she could cry to. She didn’t care at all this selfish prick that I used to call my “friend” she made me feel so alone and then she also didn’t wake me up. I woke up and cried so much I had even missed dinner. I took warden’s permission watched some animated movie made myself Maggie (it has always been my comfort food) and just cried myself to sleep.

I sometimes do wish somebody out there cared because all my life I have met selfish people who would rather use me. I keep meeting them and I have learnt to never give such kind a second chance and even if I do I only feel hate. I still hate that person. I hate each and every selfish person out there. There is a difference between being someone who loves themselves and someone who is way up their butt. I know people who love themselves. I adore them.

Where as selfish people have no place in my life. It’s the stupidest thing but I genuinely do not know how to forgive someone. I mean it took me years to forgive my own parents and they care. Once I get resentment in my heart I don’t care how much I care about you or love you I will harm you. I will make sure you go insane slowly and surely with more hurt you place upon my shoulder.

I sometimes do think I made my parents life a living hell for a few years. On the daily I used to make them count all the horrible things they have done. Each and every day and it went on for years. I am a little cracked in that department. I hold on too tight and no one can make me let go of it. I will end up hurting you again and again and again for years before I actually get the proof you are no longer a threat to my mental health and you are no longer selfish.

I have handled way too much in my life but disrespect and selfish behavior is one thing I can no longer tolerate and the fact I did try to tolerate it just because I needed answers is so damn crazy to me.

The fact it even induced flashbacks/nightmares from my past. It’s so fucked up that I was trying to look for some kind of clarity. Some kind of closure and honest to god I still want it because I really want to know and I do not know how to stop my overthinking. I genuinely do not know. It’s almost like somebody has power to my mind and I do not like it or the person. I am officially at my breaking point and hate the guts of the person. HOW LOW CAN ONE STOOP?

What did I ever do to deserve this? I want the answers so badly. I need clarity. It’s not a want it’s a need and I want it on text. So I can remember and put things together. I just want that. 6 Fucking months.

Just to get my answers. I got so involved that I actually tried to chase a dude I knew was emotionally unavailable. I even tried to befriend. I literally reached my limit. I have always been in it for the answers. The fact I have to make peace with the fact I might not get them until maybe years later sucksssss. I dunno from where to where I went but this is just me ranting it all out and taking all of my frustration out and reminding myself. I will keep reminding myself of the hurt and the pain we went through just so we don’t repeat the cycle ever again with someone else.

This was an experience but never again. The fact I got so involved that I had even started to give life advice lmao. We could have been awesome ass friends. It’s shitty how it had to come to this point that now I actually hate him and don’t ever even by mistake want to cross paths with him, don’t want to see his face or anything.

Not even the online presences I don’t even want that in my life. I just want freedom from this pain. It’s way too painful. I have went through way too much bullshit that I didn’t even deserve and I have never stooped so low for anyone. I genuinely feel like I betrayed myself aging and again and again on repeat just for the tiny clarity.

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nomanwalksalone · 5 years ago

Photo

A LIFETIME

by Réginald-Jérôme de Mans

One of the joys of custom clothing, they used to say, is that is supposed to last forever. Any English teacher would immediately ask, who are “they”? The reassuring voice of others that lured us down this path, the sybarite chorus of lazy fashion journalists and bored copywriters, repeating every few articles or press releases the same tropes about a kind of clothing that had become both incredibly rare and, generally, deterrently expensive a few decades ago. So rare, so expensive, that they suggested any order of custom clothing was an epiphany of the classic, style as arbitrated by middle-aged men behind shears who would make your clothes last so long that your descendants would be wearing them, suitably nipped and tucked to fit their dimensions, but otherwise an enduring physical manifestation of the platonic ideal of the suit.

Custom clothing must be made to last a lifetime, or many lifetimes, the articles, tailor websites and PR pieces asserted, because why else would someone seek it out? The default clothing choice was off-the-rack, seasonal fashion, and 16 years ago the suit was barely beginning its trip back to relevance.

I believed it. Consigning my very first bespoke suit last week made me think again about those beliefs, the expectations and assumptions I had when I began ordering bespoke clothing. I’d found my tailor through his association with another, more well-known tailor, quickly submitting myself to his garrulous East London-accented phone calls where he cockily asserted that he’d still be tailoring for me in 30 years. I wanted a suit – one suit, I thought – that could be custom, with all the perfection of cut, style, construction, material and fit that that term connoted to me at that time. One, I thought, and done: one suit for a workplace that was mostly business casual, that I could wear to important meetings or ceremonial occasions.

I was mostly wrong. Wrong to think that custom means perfection, transformation or revelation, wrong to think one single garment could actually satiate, let alone saturate, my taste for the thing despite those failures, wrong to think I could get exactly what I wanted, wrong to think I knew what I wanted…

… And yet… When I thought this would be the one suit that I had made for me, I had thought so hard about all the baroque details I wanted it to have. To his credit, the tailor had diplomatically explained why certain of my requests were impracticable, alpaca not being a common material in suit cloths, and tagua nuts (based on something in The Tailor of Panama, which I was reading around that time) a less suitable button material than honest horn from RJ Weldon. An array of books of cloth swatches from mostly English-sounding companies I had never heard of overwhelmed me. He steered me away from names I did know from their flashy ads, like Dormeuil or Loro Piana, to a cloth that really would be suitable for a garment that would last a lifetime: the mid-weight wools of the old, lamented H. Lesser, springy, sturdy, lustrous.

I had to have a silk lining put in, even if I had read that flashy lining colors were quite not the thing. It took me over a decade to let my freak flag fly in the face of that imposed discretion. I chose a dour burgundy colored silk for this suit’s lining in order not to seem gauche to those spectral judges whose articles I’d assimilated.

I likewise tried to apply all the other things I thought I’d learned about button stance, “nipped in waists,” and all the rest in placing my order. The tailor, thank goodness, suggested I let him figure out where the buttons would be placed on the suit, as well as how defined he could make the waist of my suit, and all the rest. He gladly agreed to the other details I’d always wanted, like side adjusters on the trousers, double vents, plain trouser bottoms (no cuffs), slant pockets – all the things that to me at the time suggested bespoke and British.

It arrived about eight months after my order – several fittings later. Whether a custom suit lasts a lifetime, its making can take ages in fashion terms, thanks to the time needed to make it, fit it and adjust it. It used to be that even good tailors could make and fit a suit over the course of a week if a customer was in town and specially requested it. There generally aren’t enough flexible free hands on staff to accommodate that now, at least not at a tailor I would trust. And as I suggested, putting it on for the first time forced me to realize that there was no transformation, no immediate elimination of all my physical shortcomings and no phoenix-like rebirth of my best self from the ashes of the money I’d burnt. No tailor can, really – particularly not at the first order. It reflects what the tailor thought you wanted, and sometimes what you wrongly thought you wanted too.

It’s a hard reconciliation. Maybe that’s why I kept trying, for a more perfect realization, getting the shoulders the way I wanted over a few more orders, the slant in the pockets pitched just right after a couple of extremes. All the ridiculous pedantry that I thought custom was supposed to indulge.

A lifetime. This suit had accompanied a significant part of mine, career moves that took me to business-formal environments that justified ordering more suits, and admissions to myself about what it was I really did want – in suits, in work, in life. Some of those clashed with each other, frankly. Loving suits, I now think sadly, is as much a manner of loving our chains as liking nice briefcases. But in a suit I love, I still feel greater, complemented by some extension of my best self.

No longer do I really feel that way in this suit, though. Not so much through its shortcomings, although most of us would find something we ordered 16 years ago a bit different from what we like now, to say nothing of a bit snugger. It ran its course with me, and while it still fit, I no longer felt I had a place for it in my wardrobe. I no longer wore it, because it no longer felt like me… beyond its warp and weft of nostalgia.

So to a new owner, hopefully someone who can project his own thoughts, expectations, hopes onto this canvas, new to him, a respeaking, as my friend dirnelli might say. After all, it has a lifetime in front of it.

#rjman #reginaldjeromedemans

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durifmdarchived · 5 years ago

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secret sibling audition self para.

date: sometime in july 2020. character(s) involved: kangaroo and peanut butter make a guest appearance. finn and angel are mentioned. there’s also a mention of @fmdting & decipher. about: duri auditions to be on secret siblings. truly, probably one of the perfect shows for him considering how friendly he is. he also is crossing his fingers for someone younger than himself, because he wants to care for them and dote on them, thank you. trigger warnings: n/a. word count: 1,524.

it was yet another thing that bc entertainment management wanted duri to audition for; possibly to milk more good pr out of the male. but, he did actually look forward to possibly being on secret siblings. it’s something that’s very much his thing; as he’s a very friendly person, who really just quite enjoys being surrounded by as many people as he possibly could be. though, he does like his bit of alone time to read and write, but he was still a very big fan of being around friends. he looked forward to possibly gaining a new idol friend through the show, and maybe that’s why he really wanted to do it. even though bc entertainment had their clear intentions, but duri thought that maybe they really thought it would be something good for him as well. he really needed to stop giving bc entertainment the benefit of the doubt. but, it was something that would simply continue on; because he always thought of good in everyone... even the greedy bc entertainment.

he had gone into the backyard of the home that’s shared with kai, kangaroo and peanut butter had followed him to where he was going to do the self cam for the audition. finn and angel were off in the shade, not wanting to step foot into the rather sunny heat. but, that was more than okay with him, they’d just peak up every now and then to make sure duri was still there. he had gotten his camera ready, before he would sit down upon the grass, close to a tree, but still in the sun. he wanted to feel the warmth and it really just felt like the perfect spot to currently do the self camera audition - plus, it wasn’t going to rain, and he wanted as much sun before the sky would decide to downpour once again. upon sitting down, peanut butter had decided that they best place to put himself was in duri’s lap, with kangaroo just running around in the sun; he’d get tired easily though, simply because it’s always been a bit hard for him to hold himself up on just three legs. nonetheless, duri was ready to start. he’d press record on it, and he’d begin.

“hello! i’m knight’s duri!” he greets the camera, before bowing with his greeting. “shall we get started on the audition?” he asked, before giggling. his other hand would place upon peanut butter every now and then, however, it would move to read off the questions upon his phone.

“what are your concerns these days?” he reads off the first question. it takes a few seconds to decide how he’s going to answer the question. does he lie about his concerns? does he be honest about what he wants to say? he’s not entirely sure what would be best. maybe, he should just lie, say everything is okay. that always seemed to be the best plan of action, didn’t it?

looking upon the camera again, he begins to speak. “i don’t think i have concerns these days?” he starts, giggling a bit more after saying that line. “i’m living really happily and healthily! i don’t really have many complaints,” he said, shoulders shrugging softly. “i guess... if i had to pick a concern, maybe some more time to rest! but, i think that’s just something small. i’m really happy!” he said, his smile growing a bit. it wasn’t a total lie, he is really happy. but, he could really just use some more sleep. he was truly being overworked, but he didn’t want to complain. he would just continue to move on and be glad that at his age, so many products wanted him to be in cfs, and people still really wanted to hear the music that he puts out. so, there really can’t be many concerns for him to take part in.

“next question!” he says, before looking down at his phone again to read off the question. “which same-sex idols do you look up to or want to get to know better?” he reads off, before looking back to the camera.

“oh, that one is easy!” he starts. “i really look up to all the members of decipher! but, i think everyone already knows that,” he said, laughing softly. “i just really like decipher sunbaenims and their music! they’re just really cool and they’re such free guys! i hope knight and myself have left as much of an impact on the industry as they have!” he said. “for who i want to get to know better... i think ting from unity is someone i’d like to get to know better! i’ve met him a few times because i’m close with jaewon and soo, but i haven’t gotten to know ting as well!” he said, giggling softly. “plus, i’ve read a lot online that some people think we look alike.” he said, giggling a bit more; though, his smile did grow quite a bit more. “i think that’s all i can think of!” he said, finishing off the question.

he looked down at his phone once more, “for the third question...” he starts, but gets interrupted by kangaroo, who came over to lick all over duri’s cheek, which seemingly made him laugh like a toddler. “hello kangaroo!” he greets the dog and pets him softly, especially scratching behind his ears. kangaroo would run off again, having his adventure; whilst the youngest one stayed within his lap for a nap. “sorry about that! third question!” he says to the camera, before finally reading it off. “do idol schedules make it hard for you to meet up with friends and talk? if yes, do you feel that is hard on you? if no, how do you manage to make time?” he says, before thinking upon it for a few moments.

“i think idol schedules do tend to make it a bit harder to meet up with friends. sometimes, when my friends aren’t working, i’m working, and vice versa. however, my school friends, such as jinsol and hanui, have always come to everything that i’ve done to support me whenever they can! i try really hard to also do that for everyone else, especially my idol friends. but, i do my best with to manage to make time to spend time with my friends, especially because i really like getting to be with my friends and hang out with them! if there’s free time in my schedule, i spend it with friends, if they’re free too!” he said, the ending of his answer sounding very happy and chipper. it was something that’s incredibly difficult to manage, but he always tries his best to give his time to everyone that wanted his time.

“ah, are we already on our final question?” he said, “i was having so much fun,” he spoke. his words sounded a lot more cute than he meant for it to sound, but that was very much just duri, to say the least. “okay, the final question is... if you could create your ideal menu for a meal with a friend, what would it include?” he says. he giggled softly, especially since it was really a question meant for him. cooking is something that he really just loves to do, especially for others.

“i think for the first course, we’d start out with some bimbap or tteokbokki! i’ve always enjoyed both bimbap and tteokbokki, but they’d be our starter, because they don’t really fill be up. for the main course, i’d do korean barbecue with a lot of sides, just to make sure my friend would eat a lot! i really like making a lot of food as well, so i’d probably go overboard with the sides...” he says, giggling once more. “for dessert, i’d do my aunt’s hotteok recipes! there’s a lot of different ones that she makes for her and my uncle’s café... chocolate hotteok, apple cinnamon hotteok, pear cinnamon hotteok... ah, so many really good ones!” he says, giggling once again. “i think that would be my perfect menu to cook someone!” he nodded.

“thank you so much for watching my audition and considering me! i really hope you chose me!” he says, before bowing towards the camera, and coming back up. “goodbye!” he spoke again, waving to the camera.

he’d turn the camera off, before he’d move to record the voice recording for his possible future secret sibling. he’d press record button, before talking into it.

“hello secret sibling! i’m really excited to get the chance to meet you and i really hope you’re excited as well!” he said, giggling once more. “i hope through secret sibling, we’ll get to become like real siblings! i’m looking forward to getting to take care of you during our time together and having lots of fun! i promise we’ll have lots of fun and do fun things! please look forward to getting to know me! see you soon!”

with that, he’d turn the recording off, and make his way to send everything off to management, so they’d be able to submit his audition to secret sibling.

#fmdsecretaudition #⌜ self para. ⌝#did i finish this really quickly and write 1.5k words? maybe.

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ds-towhoknowswhere · 5 years ago

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The strange machine that is WX-78. Whether friend or foe can be debatable some days. That aside, let’s talk headcanons.

- WX-78 doesn’t really consider anyone in the group their friends. Just tools for their own devices. They are superior to everyone after all.

- Though they do have a slight soft spot for Webber. Not that they’d publicly admit that.

- Their only friends are the machines Wilson makes.

- Speaking of Wilson, WX-78 keeps their distance from him. Wilson is... rather eager to try and understand them and how they tick. (”YOU KEEP THAT WRENCH FAR AWAY FROM ME YOU HACK!”)

- While WX-78 will never admit to this they were made by someone organic. No one is quite sure who though. Though their handy work, according to Wilson and Winona, reminds them a bit of the work of Robert Wagstaff.

- Not to mention their name, WX-78, matches the names of two other inventions of Wagstaff’s. The Voxola PR-76 radio and Gramophone ML-77 come to mind.

- And they kind of sound like Wagstaff sometimes, according to Winona, with how they speak sometimes.

- Also WX-78 doesn’t like Winona trying to get near them either. Like Wilson, she’s too eager to want to know about their structure and mechanics. (”STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!”)

- Do not let WX-78′s scrawny structure fool you, they are very strong.

- WX-78 is definitely classed as very advanced in technology considering they are a full functioning artificial intelligence and are human like to the point food can help them run. Only problem is the fact they have no sense of empathy or feelings since... well... empathy module just is not working. Heaven knows if it ever will.

And that’ll be it for now. If you’d like to see ideas and headcanon expanded on or have your own, please feel free to submit to our inbox!

#don't starve #don't starve together #don't starve wx-78 #wx-78 #headcanons #illustration #to who knows where

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blvqebird · 5 years ago

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Epicaricacy

The sting of water I consumed the night before hangs in my belly as I wake up to Cardinals and Crows chattering outside my window. I relieve myself.

But something’s different. I don’t feel jolly or energized or refreshed. Only irritation. Only sadness.

“My moon cycle must be starting soon.” I think to myself as a wash my hands.

“Either that or I’m feeling the effects of the lunar eclipse sooner than I thought I would....” I continue to ponder as I slick charcoal toothpaste over my brush.

Today of all days, the memory of all the traumatic experiences I’ve had in my life came back like a poltergeist. Like some fucked up sundae at the local Cold Stone Creamery. Like some macabre anniversary. In sequence.

Most of my childhood, the immigrant family, teaching my mother how to spell things in English even before I had a full grasp of the language myself. The absentee father, the dogmatic religious upbringing that failed to realize just how much of it was hindering my free spirit, not helping. The college experience—the piece of shit from some town in the pacific northwest who found it amusing to try and humiliate a girl after fucking her, and the bigoted and two-faced “friends” I didn’t realize were bigoted and two-faced until later. The bastard who forced himself on me two years after that. I never got therapy for it. Never told anyone... Until today I guess. The bloody hustling my team and I were forced to do in Miami thanks to the conmen who took more than they gave. The person who crashed into me and left me on the street to die had it not been for the car behind me who witnessed it all, they never would’ve found him.

The racist glasses company I used to work for whose HR department is the equivalent of the Police in America.

I’ll let that one sink in.

They are the reason I have the EEOC database memorized and why I’ll never trust anyone in administration again. Why I record every interaction I have, and upload it to my cloud for retribution should I need it for safekeeping.

I feel the heat rise in my cheeks. The area between my eyes begins to tingle. I can’t help myself. I tear through my dresser, I pull out my cards, begin to shuffle, and true to Scorpionic form— I ask about every maggot that has ever crossed me.

The Emperor, the Hermit reversed, 5 of cups, the 10 of cups, the 4 of cups: My father, he’s lonely. He wants his children now—but we are uninterested and too old to want him back.

The Knight of Pentacles, The 3 of cups, the 9 of swords, 7 of swords and Justice: The POS from the PNW and the others live with the guilt of their behavior and try to make up for it with disingenuous retweets of BLM.

The Devil, Strength, The Tower, 5 of Pentacles, The Ace of Wands reversed, the 9 of cups reversed: The bastard who forced himself on me is currently living in squalor. Lost most of his money, his virility, and most of his hair.

The Magician reversed, The 9 of pentacles reversed and Justice again: The conmen lost their business and had a class-action lawsuit filed against them for their thievery.

The Chariot, the Tower, The Fool reversed, Judgement, the 8 of swords. The bastard who crashed into me was put in jail for it.

The 3 of pentacles, the 2 of swords, the Tower, the Wheel of Fortune reversed, the 6 of wands reversed, 10 of pentacles reversed and Justice: Finally. The optical company that I spent almost two years helping develop on the foreign language front, is currently suffering a deliciously humiliating PR crisis for all the systemic bias they’ve inflicted on so many innocent and capable employees. People who look like me. Getting roasted all over the interwebs... Nowhere to hide now that the dirt they’ve buried in the dark has been unearthed and brought to light... Trying not to get sued while losing credibility, losing clientele, and most importantly—losing business. Because nothing hurts a company worse than getting hit in their pockets.

I put my cards back in my deck and a ripple of dark laughter creeps up my throat. My curses worked. No space for shame when righteous schadenfreude fills your belly. The universe has balanced the scales. I guess I should have foreseen that... The Wheel of Fortune, Justice, and the Sun have been flying out at me all year.

I finish shuffling. I thank my ancestors. I put my cards back in my deck. But before I close my wooden box, a single card shoots out from the 78. “What'd you forget to tell me...” I sigh under my breath, a bit nonplussed.

It's card No. 8, Strength. I’ve seen it a thousand times before. Still, something... something makes me take a good look at it. “A Lion...” I whisper to myself. “Well... my midheaven is in Leo..”. I take a closer look, taking in the woman on the card. She’s holding the Lion's head aloft. Petting it, as if she's petting a common hound. She’s wearing white—she’s pure of spirit and has a kind heart. She’s wearing flowers around her hair, the ground she and the beast stand on is lush and verdant, full of life. A symbol of beauty. The Infiniti sign hovers above her head, she is in touch with the spiritual. She has unlimited potential. I look at the lion again, its tail is tucked in, it’s licking her arm. She is not forcing the beast into submission but rather, it is submitting to her. A symbol of raw but non-boastful power, courage, and bravery. She is smiling at the beast, even though it could kill her. She has mastery over evil. There is a mountain in the background. A symbol of an immovable force. Resilience.

And at that moment, I am not sad anymore. At the moment, I understand.

My deck is reminding me of who I am.

#Thoughts #Personal #life #saga #writing #Scorpio thoughts #vengeance/justice #2020 #leo mc #scorpio shit #Tarot #Personal tarot readings #leo midheaven #astrology #scorpio sun #scorpio rising things

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sophialongbcttom · 5 years ago

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KRISTINE FROSETH? No, that’s actually SOPHIA LONGBOTTOM from the NEXT GENERATION ERA. You know, the child of NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM and HANNAH ABBOTT? Only TWENTY-ONE years old, this GRYFFINDOR alumni works as a PUBLIC RELATIONS INTERN and is sided with THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX. SHE identifies as a CIS WOMAN and is a HALFBLOOD who is known to be MANIPULATIVE, COMPETITIVE, and SPITEFUL but also INTELLIGENT, DRIVEN, and COQUETTISH. — &&. ( MEGAN, GMT, SHE/HER, 23. )

PINTEREST.

—— THE BASICS !

FULL NAME: Sophia Caroline Longbottom

AGE: Twenty-one

DATE OF BIRTH: September 19th

BLOODSTATUS: Muggleborn

GENDER IDENTITY: Cis Woman

PRONOUNS: She/Her

—— CLOSER TO HOME !

FATHER: Neville Longbottom

MOTHER: Hannah Abbott

SIBLING(S): Lydia Longbottom (20), Delilah Longbottom (22), Pippa Longbottom (24)

HOMETOWN: TBA

—— ON THE SURFACE !

FACE CLAIM: Kristine Froseth

HAIR COLOUR/STYLE: Thick light brown waves.

EYE COLOUR: Blue

HEIGHT/WEIGHT: 5″5 135lbs

BUILD: Slim.

TATTOOS/PIERCINGS: Lobes on both ears, conch on the right.

CLOTHING STYLE: Highly fashionable, put together, femme and girly.

DISTINGUISHING CHARACTERISTICS: Bone structure, big blue eyes.

ACCENT/VOICE: Fairly grey-area southern English accent, quite high and sing-song.

—— DIGGING DEEPER !

STAR SIGN: Virgo

MBTI: ESTJ-A

ENNEGRAM TYPE: The Achiever

TEMPERAMENT: Choleric

COLOUR PERSONALITY: Yellow #FFFF00

BIG FIVE PERSONALITY TEST: O - 37.5% C - 87.5% E - 94% A - 31% N - 50%

THEME SONG: dead to me - kali uchis, thank u, next - ariana grande, how to be a heartbreaker - marina

HOBBIES: Quidditch, dating, taking care of her appearance, singing, a little bit of herbology and gardening.

—— BEHIND THE WIZARD !

WAND TYPE: Fir, Phoenix feather 10" Hard.

My august grandfather, Gerbold Octavius Ollivander, always called wands of this wood ‘the survivor’s wand’, because he had sold it to three wizards who subsequently passed through mortal peril unscathed. There is no doubt that this wood, coming as it does from the most resilient of trees, produces wands that demand staying power and strength of purpose in their true owners, and that they are poor tools in the hands of the changeable and indecisive. Fir wands are particularly suited to Transfiguration, and favour owners of focused, strong-minded and, occasionally, intimidating demeanour.

PATRONUS: Abraxan Winged Horse (according to Pottermore)

AMORTENTIA: Wood polish, sun-warmed skin, freshly toasted bread, wild mint leaves.

BOGGART: Herself, invisible and muted to everyone.

since day one she realised that punishment as a child was inconsequential really, and that people naturally wanted to react to her in a caring way. just made easier if she lead them in the right direction. so u can imagine that being her sibling was so much fun! like she wasn’t angelica pickles all the time.... but she wasn’t a constant delight. pretty desperate for attention.

i guess carrying on from the learned behaviour as a kid she only really knew pulling people’s strings? she wasn’t influenced by anyone else, it was just something that came naturally to her very early and wasn’t really corrected because she was pretty good at it.

really competitive, driven. under? over? around? no? THROUGH.

a quite frankly frightening perfectionist. causes her quite a bit of turmoil which she ofc hides in an effort to appear effortless. yes that is a very broken looking sentence, you see the issue.

at hogwarts she got pretty quickly obsessed with her self image, lived the mean girl dream (nightmare) through most of her time at school. never had any true friends until her last two years at hogwarts bc the rest were all social climbers who periodically threw one another under the bus depending on the circumstances. despite this, she is loyal to a fault. she will swiftly demand vengeance, retribution and is not afraid to steal your boyfriend if she feels you aren’t being punished enough.

never got below an E in her entire time at hogwarts and was able to remedy that initial grade swiftly.

is actually a good friend once she lets her guard down.

overall a better person now but she can still be snappish and cruel without thinking. is not a girl who will lie to you about how you look in that outfit.

was a chaser for gryffindor, tries not to seem overly enthusiastic about the game but adores playing quidditch. has season tickets for the holyhead harpies.

jenna marbles vc: I’M A VIRGO!!

a very talented herbologist in her time at school, sequestered herself away in the greenhouses often even though the humidity made her hair go all frizzy. still has a little windowsill garden at her flat.

absolutely disastrous with romance and is lowkey terrified of submitting to the mortifying ordeal of being known, i mean, aren’t we all ladies? really does genuinely enjoy dating around and casual attachments. is a thoroughly sexual being, doesn’t give a shit if you don’t like it. an insufferable flirt.

still sleeps with a stuffed mooncalf that she’s had since she was tiny. if you make any unwanted comment about daisy however, you will be sleeping on the floor.

works in a pretty cut-throat PR office now, after the whole gilderoy lockhart ordeal there was an opportunity to mine.

TIMECLASH - Is completely desperate to understand the magic behind it all. Slightly terrified to see her parents as 20-somethings? And has honestly had the thought: look at how the dating pool has widened up, nice. Yep.

oof i’m so rusty with intros and i should proof read this but i’m not gonna lol. please please please feel free to message me to plot, or you can like this post and i’ll drop you a dm. i will be going thru everyone’s intros tomorrow at work and will hopefully be drumming up some ideas!

exes who hate each other? still have chemistry? on good terms? friends? not exes exactly... ex-almost-somethings? ex-hookups? current hookup? someone she teased at school? used to be fake ass friends together? friends with romantic/sexual tension? coworker? current long-lasting best friends? school rivals? someone she used to tutor? they live in the same building? share a flat? live next door and hear her singing in the shower? maybe she saved a potted plant of theirs? a client of hers? friends who only see each other to party? friends who shop together?

#quantum intro #oof #OO F

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inyournightmares97 · 6 years ago

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GOT7 AS: Managers in a Company

Just a few thoughts about what GOT7 would be like if they were managers/Head of Department in a company. Totally inspired by the fact that I’ve been watching the kdrama Chief Kim lately and corporate politics fascinates me.

Mark

Mr. Tuan is the head of the IT Department.

He works with computers and is the acknowledged technological genius of the company. It takes Mark Tuan exactly two minutes to scan a software and he can suddenly use it as though he designed it himself.

At the insistence of the employees from other departments, he regularly conducts tutorials and FAQ sessions to help employees better utilize the office software but nobody ever attends those. Instead, they just summon the IT Department to their desks whenever they can’t figure out something.

It makes Mark furious.

Sometimes there isn’t even any problem with the software. It’s just the female employees who have nothing better to do and want the chance to flirt with the cute guy from IT.

He was even slipped a man’s number once.

Mark finally ended up going to the CEO and making his tutorial sessions mandatory for all employees, So now on the first Tuesday of every month, all the employees have to gather in the auditorium for an hour and listen to Mr. Tuan give a lecture on the latest updates to the office Intranet and explain how to use the software.

He knows it’s a waste of his time since people will keep calling the IT Department for help anyway, but Mark figures the least he can do is waste some of their time in exchange. It gives him a small sense of achievement to look at all their bored and miserable faces.

Mark is a silent genius when it comes to IT, but his managerial skills are... non-existent.

The IT Department essentially does whatever they feel like because Mark has never scolded his employees or even told them to get back to work.

His only strategy is non-interference. He doesn’t care if the employees are playing games during office hours (he often does so himself, with the door to his office locked and his secretary warned to send all visitors away) and even if he catches them in the act he never says a word.

But the employees know better than to completely neglect their work, because if they do, somebody from another department might file a complaint about them and that complaint would get forwarded to Mr. Tuan.

Complaints = Paperwork

There is nothing Mr. Tuan hates more than paperwork. The only time his smiling and handsome face turns dangerous is when somebody comes up to him with paperwork. He would rather install the intranet software into a hundred office computers than file a single report.

Mark doesn’t even remember the names of all the people who work underneath him in the department. So during performance reviews, everyone just gets a good/decent review because who knows how much work is being done by each employee? Certainly not Mark Tuan. He couldn’t care less.

Mr. Tuan has never worked a minute of overtime in his life.

He leaves the office at 5 pm sharp, every single day and he does not come in on weekends under any circumstances. I’m sorry, the company is about to fall to pieces and you need someone to fix the software? Sure, remind me first thing on Monday morning.

Orders pizza and coke for the entire Department whenever it’s somebody’s birthday (his secretary slides him a note to remind him whenever that is the case).

He’s a little absent-minded and clueless at times, but the entire IT department agrees that they pretty much lucked out getting Mark Tuan as a manager. They wouldn’t exchange him for the world.

Jaebum

Mr. Im Jaebum manages the Production Department

Production and manufacturing isn’t easy work. There are deadlines to meet and quality standards to maintain. Production is the lifeblood of the corporation.

The quality of the products is extremely important to the company’s reputation and Im Jaebum does not compromise on anything. Everything has to be done perfectly and he expects his employees to come up with flawless results. He comes up with numbers and his employees have to bring them into existence.

But his expectations come with a responsibility of his own.

Jaebum takes excellent care of his employees. Even though the production goals he sets seem a little high at times, he also makes sure that every single employee, right down to the lowest factory worker is well-taken care of.

The company hasn’t faced a single worker’s strike since Mr. Im took over the Production Department. He can often be found arguing with the Directors and higher-ups to ensure better working conditions and benefits for his employees. A healthy workforce makes for a healthy company. He genuinely believes that his workers need to be happy for the department to function efficiently.

Mr. Im is both feared and respected.

He sometimes goes down the factories himself and conducts surprise inspections, so the warehouses and production facilities are always on high alert. But if the inspection goes well, then he treats all the workers to drinks after working hours end.

Jaebum sometimes gets a little drunk himself and does a really good impression of the CEO which gets everyone cracking up. But if anyone tries to take a video of him doing it, they’re going to be treated to a death glare.

Jaebum also secretly really adores kids, even though he doesn’t have any of his own. So he organizes a ‘bring-your-kids-to-work’ day twice a year. All the employees of his department can bring their kids to work to see what their parents do. Jaebum places a huge jar of candy on his desk and blushes whenever the kids come up to him. He’s too awkward to actually entertain them but he thinks they’re really cute.

He even let a particularly adorable five-year-old girl sit in his large, swirly leather office chair and wheeled her around like a rocket until he noticed the other employees were looking at him weirdly.

Even though Jaebum works them hard and enforces a lot of strict rules, everyone in the Production Department agrees that you can never find a manager more fair or just than Mr. Im Jaebum.

Jackson

Mr. Jackson Wang is head of the PR Department: Public Relations is his natural calling.

Jackson is that guy who constantly has a little Bluetooth mic in his ear; it’s really hard to tell whether he’s addressing you in front of him or he’s just talking to somebody through the Bluetooth. He likes to pace up and down the main office while taking calls in a loud voice. It makes him feel important.

Jackson takes a lot of phone calls. Most of them aren’t even work related, he’s just chatting with people in high positions but he claims that “maintaining contacts” is what he’s getting paid for.

Mr. Wang also uses the company card a lot. He submits receipts for various clubs and restaurants that he took some big politician or journalist to. Jackson can often be found in the Finance Manager, Park Jinyoung’s office towards the end of the month, begging him to clear all sorts of absurd expenses made in the company’s name. They usually have an hour-long meeting in Mr. Park’s office and Jackson ends up paying for the events by himself.

He’s not the best problem-solver. Jackson’s solution to just about any problem is “let’s call for a press conference.”

- “Mr. Wang, it’s actually very important that we keep this information away from the press for the time being-”

- “Yeah, yeah, I get that. But don’t you think we should hold a press conference? I’ll set one up right away!”

Somehow, he’s extremely hurt and surprised whenever he finds out that he’s been kept in the dark about confidential company matters.

Whenever there is a press conference though, Jackson makes it the most flashy and extravagant event possible. He hands out imported care packages to all the journalists and gives them free hampers with company products.

Every minuscule charitable contribution the company makes is on international headlines the next day. Pictures of the CEO visiting orphanages and making donations to starving children in poor countries can be found all over the internet. Jackson put them there.

He has a special team of people dedicated to leaving nice comments about the company on all sorts of internet fora. Sometimes he logs on himself and responds to haters just for the hell of it. He also manages the company’s social media presence; they have an Instagram page, a Twitter page, a Facebook page and exist on pretty much every social media platform ever.

Jackson has an excellent employee incentive scheme. Friday mornings are brainstorming sessions and anybody who comes up with a good idea to boost the company’s image gets a special gift; usually an expensive bottle of wine Jackson scored from a guy he knows, or a little bonus. The Finance Department severely disapproves of this scheme, so the funds come directly from Jackson’s own pocket.

He also likes a comfortable and bright environment. The PR Department’s office spaces are all painted in colorful shades, with beanbags and funny-looking chairs and fluffy rugs. He tried to get a cafe installed but the Finance Department put an end to that nonsense very quickly.

Although Jackson can be a little wild and loud at times, everyone agrees that the PR Department is undoubtedly the most fun department to work in.

Jinyoung

Mr. Park Jinyoung manages the Finance Department.

Before he turned up, the department was a corrupt mess. There were accounting scams everywhere, people at all levels of the corporate structure were siphoning off money whenever they pleased. Jinyoung personally tracked every single one of these people down and found proof that they’d been embezzling company funds.

Let’s just say that a lot of employees got arrested during the first two months of Mr. Park’s appointment. The PR Department was in panic (the only time Jackson Wang was forced to actually work overtime to ensure the entire company wasn’t labelled as corrupt by the media), but it worked out in the long run. Now the company is clean and Mr. Park does not compromise on integrity.

Jinyoung has one golden rule, which is written in bold letters and pasted on his office for everyone to see as they arrive. The sign reads ‘No Wasteful Expenditure’. There is nothing Jinyoung hates more than useless expenditure. Every penny spent must bring in some solid, traceable returns and that is how he runs the finances of the company.

He can regularly be seen arguing with Mr. Wang of the PR Department in his office. “Taking the journalists to a strip club is NOT a business expense! I refuse to sanction your reimbursements! Pay for your own entertainment!”

Jinyoung is also extremely stingy about allocating budgets to the Research and Development team. Kim Yugyeom can often be found in Mr. Park’s office as well, pleading for more funds while Jinyoung ignores him completely. “When is the last time your Department ever designed anything worth selling? All the money we’ve allocated you in the past is a sunk cost. Do you know what that means, Mr. Kim? It means it’s sunk to the bottom of the fucking ocean and we’re never getting that money back!”

Mr. Kim Yugyeom doesn’t ask for money anymore. R&D make do with what they have.

Jinyoung is extremely anal about his office space. The entire Finance Department is stuck with posters like “Reuse and Recycle” and there are reminders to turn off the lights when not in use. Jinyoung also insists that the air-conditioning be switched off for at least two hours every day. Even in summer. Sweating is good for your body.

The prevailing system is tough love. Jinyoung is harsh with employee performance reviews and getting a bonus is not easy if you work for the Finance Department. He’s also a micro-manager, requiring that every small thing be passed through him for approval.

Delegation is not a term well-respected in Mr. Park’s vocabulary. He doesn’t trust people to do things themselves. Sometimes he wanders around the employee’s desks for no reason, hovering over them like a schoolteacher trying to make sure the students aren’t cheating on an exam.

Whenever the auditing season is over, though, Jinyoung makes sure to throw a huge party for the accounting branch and invites the entire Finance Department. Work outings aren’t often but when they do take place, they get wild.

Overall, the employees of the Finance Department work hard and long hours, but they can’t really complain because Mr. Park works just as hard as them and he never sets any standards that he doesn’t follow himself.

Youngjae

Mr. Choi Youngjae is the friendly Human Resources manager.

The HR Department is a very calm and peaceful place. Youngjae has strategically placed potpourri all over the Department office to disseminate calming fragrances and he keeps scented candles in his own office. It’s his way of relieving stress after a long day of dealing with people screaming at him.

“Yes, sir, I understand that you booked the conference room in advance and that the PR Department should not be allowed to play loud music and disturb your meeting. Yes, I’ll have a talk with Mr. Wang about this.”

“It does make sense that an executive of your level should be allowed to travel in business class, but it’s up to the Finance Department to allocate budget and sanction your... yes, I understand. I’ll talk to Mr. Park.”

The HR Department is essentially the anger management center for all the other employees. Many of the managers like to come and walk into Mr. Choi’s office at all times of the day to vent their problems to him. He’s often dealing with noise complaints filed against the PR Department and the Marketing Department.

His only friend in the office is Jaebum, who often comes to talk to him about employee benefits and payroll issues. Youngjae admires how passionate Jaebum is about worker’s rights and he generally backs him when trying to beg the Board to allow for an increase in wages or additional holiday bonuses for the employees. It’s the only time Youngjae’s job feels worthwhile.

Youngjae is also required to hold seminars and training courses on conflict resolution and workplace ethics every quarter. The sessions are largely pointless because they usually just end in Jinyoung making snarky remarks about how all of the other departments waste the company’s money and Jackson’s cellphone goes off every five minutes because he refuses to keep it on silent. Bambam and Yugyeom are usually entirely absent from the seminars completely; they translate seminar day to mean holiday.

Youngjae is extremely grateful to Mark and Jaebum for being the only two people who actually pay attention to his seminars, but they’re never involved in any conflict anyway so it makes no sense.

Youngjae also regularly has to talk to Bambam about taking too many vacations days. Somehow, the man turns up with perfectly valid medical certificates stating that he was ill even though everyone knows he went on a trip to Bangkok with his new girlfriend. Youngjae doesn’t really know how to deal with the problem. He chooses to ignore it.

On slow days, Youngjae brings his dog into work and spends the afternoon playing with Coco.

Overall, he’s an extremely sweet HR manager who secretly hates his job but puts up with it because he doesn’t know what else he would do. Also leaves work at exactly 5 pm sharp and sometimes runs into Mark in the parking lot.

Bambam

Bambam runs the Marketing Department.

The Department is largely a mess. It’s meant to be a hub of creativity, and the office is filled with drawing boards and sticky notes and all sorts of scribbles all over the place.

A clean environment does not get one’s creative juices flowing.

Bambam also has dartboards with pictures of their major competitors set up all over the office. Employees are encouraged to use them often.

The job of marketing is to get products to sell and Bambam firmly believes that there is one foolproof way to do that; glamour.

He makes the company sign endorsement deals with almost every single famous celebrity in town; actresses, sports-persons, singers... Bambam knows them all and they’re all endorsing his products. If his team can’t come up with a good enough marketing strategy then they can just take their pick of all the celebrities Bambam has signed deals with and use one of them to endorse the product.

It’s not easy convincing Jinyoung to part with millions so that he can pay some famous actress to advertise their cosmetics line, but Bambam is better at wearing Jinyoung down than the other managers. Also, sales figures have been skyrocketing ever since Bambam took over so Jinyoung has a soft spot for him. At least he brings in results, unlike the R&D team.

Bambam maintains a very casual work environment with his employees. The moment their workload decreases, he’s usually off visiting some exotic foreign country. It’s surprising how he manages to get work done despite almost never being in his office; but Bambam parties hard and works harder.

He probably would have been fired by now if he hadn’t been bringing in so many sales, and if Youngjae hadn’t been too soft to bring up the matter of him overstepping his allocated vacation days.

All the same, all his employees love him.

Yugyeom

Mr. Kim Yugyeom manages the Research and Development team

The R&D team was one of the biggest spenders in the company until Mr. Park Jinyoung was hired and slashed their budget in half. They’ve been struggling to operate since then, but their productivity hasn’t increased much. They still produce next to nothing.

Yugyeom always encourages his employees to share their wild and insane product ideas. Since the R&D department don’t actually have to show any concrete results, they can often be seen slacking off. Most of their ideas are insane from the start and could never have been implemented anyway.

The only productive research that was taking place through the R&D Department was in the cosmetics line, but Yugyeom had that research shut down after he found out that they were testing the cosmetics on little bunnies and mice. He spent the rest of the day locked up in his office watching PETA videos on the horrors of animal testing and crying himself to sleep.

It took the combined efforts of Youngjae and Bambam to reassure Yugyeom that he wasn’t responsible for the deaths of hundreds of animals and that he should just shift his focus to products which didn’t need to be tested on living things.

The biggest achievement of Mr. Kim’s career was convincing the company to start a line of chocolate milk-based products. It was a line of research that Jinyoung firmly refused to fund but that didn’t matter because Yugyeom and his employees were fully willing to test the product on themselves. They drank nothing but chocolate milk for an entire month before the product was finally approved for sale.

Nobody complained because Yugyeom looked so hopeful.

Bambam was so proud of his friend for having finally developed a successful product that he hired one of the most popular actresses to endorse it and the chocolate milk sold like hotcakes. It’s still one of the most popular milk brands.

On days when they don’t need to work because Youngjae is holding one of his workplace ethics seminars, he and Bambam go to the amusement park or the bowling alley and have the time of their lives.

Most of the employees in the R&D team love Yugyeom because, well, nobody every really does any work there and he doesn’t care either. Who wouldn’t love a manager like that?

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