#if you know what i’m saaaaying

[vampirebabeforever]

it's february when is our wedding beloved

february 20 it’s national handcuff day

[whirlybirbs]

it’s 5:20am i cannot sleep i am consumed with thoughts and yearning for keigo takami i need to be euthanized

[screampied]

ʚ MAMA I’M IN LOVE WITH 2 CRIMINALS ?! ɞ

ᡴꪫ‎ sum. you had one job. interrogate two felonious criminals, not screw them both. but it’s a friday night and what happens in the interrogation room stays in the interrogation room, right? wrong.

warnings. fem! reader, modern au, criminals sukuna ryomen x toji fushiguro, unprotected, thrēesome, tatted toji, manhandling, choking, dirty talk, double penn + cowgirl dp, praise, spıt roasting, size kink, ōral (f & m receiving), gunplay, spıt, brēeding, implied multiple rounds, nıpple play, overstim, dumbificaiton, they’re kinda fruity

wc. 6.4k

“you’re avoiding the question.” you utter with a vexed scoff.

these two, sukuna ryomen and toji fucking fushiguro. sleazy infamous criminals notoriously known within the city with a staggering criminal record underneath their belts. they were a duo, the duo. everyone knows—where there’s sukuna, there’s toji. constantly always in and out of prison as if life was a mere game to them, a mere joke. your patience continues to run thin the more you stare at them blankly. those unfazed eyes, those smirks, they didn’t take you seriously, especially with how easy on the eyes you were. you almost stammer over your words before peering back at toji. “my eyes are up here. quit wasting my time.”

“easy, girl. we already told ya we didn’t do it,” toji brings two hands up to his chest with a sly smirk, pretending to be offended. he sat right beside sukuna, both in the same orange undifferentiated jumpsuits. “besidesss,” and he leans up close to you, sliding a tongue against his slanted fabled scar. “for a detective you’re pretty shit at your job. where’s the eye contact, love?”

“yo toji don’t piss her off,” sukuna cackles with his arms crossed. he leans against the steel chair, taking in your entire frame. as much as you could give them both an annoyed glower, toji was right. you were one of the if not the best local detective in your city, yet with these two, you were slacking in everything. you could barely stare into their eyes without looking away, embarrassingly fumbling over your words, a mess. sukuna hums in amusement, cocking a brow upwards. “but y’know, detective. it is kind of hard to confess our crimes when ya look this good on a friday night.”

the compliment immediately catches you off guard. the air suddenly grows thick. you’re squeezing your legs shut tight - the stretchy fabric of your tucked fishnets glues against your skin before you clear your throat.

“i know what you’re doing. ‘s not gonna work.” but who were you kidding, just a single comment as that had you all hot and bothered. questioning one criminal was one thing, but two at the same time was another. you didn’t know how you were gonna get through the night. inside the dim lit interrogation room, it was quite spacey. luckily, it was pretty late at night so your superiors had left you alone to close. you insisted you’d question them then take them back to the station yourself. although, that certainly wasn’t the plan.

the brick walls were rustic, it grew very quiet the moment you trailed off your words. the silence was almost deadly, so deadly that you could practically hear a pin drop. sukuna and toji, they were infamous for their crimes—burglaries, robberies, to keep it short, they weren’t exactly good guys.

with a quick scratch toward his ripped pecs, toji glances around the room. sharp verdant hooded eyes gawk near the glass viewing window directly before he snickers. “saaaay,” he hums in a gruff tone, lazily slouching back against his seat. “how ‘bout ya take these handcuffs off ‘n we’ll tell ya everything ya wanna know.”

“nice try,” you lean up against the table, finally staring right into their eyes - moreso toji. he flashes you a cheeky grin as you inch forward, sukuna keeping his eyes fixated on you also. with a quick glimpse, you peek down at your watch. “seriously, i don’t have all day. i have somewhere to be in a hour, so-”

“hot date?” sukuna raises a brow, his collar from his jumpsuit ruffed out a bit. just that minor detail alone was so attractive. “so that’s why you’re wearing pretty fishnets, mm. lucky guy.”

again—you’re caught off guard. both men stare at you as if they’re trapped inside your thoughts, already knowing what you’re about to say next. just casually reading every single thing that pops into your brain. were you that easy to read? you didn’t actually have a date but you were going out. maybe being all dolled up on the job was a bit unprofessional. sheepishly abashed, you dig the soles of your boot heels into the carpet ground before muttering lowly, desperately trying to keep a straight face.

“my personal life isn’t what’s important … here,” and your eyes widen once you see toji with his hands apparently free.

how . . .

your eyes then trail at sukuna who had your handcuff keys right in his palm. sukuna freed his wrists and toji freed himself before the dark haired fugitive stands up to stretch. damn, they just have snuck it when you were fantasizing. again,

“you were saying about y’er personal life?” the pink haired male hums, slowly making his way behind your edge table. you felt cornered— oh, perhaps taking the final shift of the night wasn’t the best idea.

no, it was a horrible idea.

yet, the more they got closer to you, the more you started to feel something … feverish.

suddenly, between your thighs felt hot. with the bare bottoms of your shoes rubbing against your heel, toji cups your chin, staring right into your eyes. sukuna appears behind you, creeping, tossing your documents to the side and you grouse. “you can get in a lot more trouble for touching me, toji,” you utter, both eyes of yours staring intently into his. the eye contact was so intimate — you’ve never had a problem with eye contact until now. his smirk, he brushes a thumb against your bottom lip before scoffing. “s- seriously.”

sukuna’s crimson-red eyes reach towards the side of your hip, you were armed. cute, he hums whilst pondering just what his next step might be before toji cackles.

“okay and,” he purrs, leaning in just a bit deeper. you smelled the scent of alcohol lingering on his tongue. his eye contact was simply alluring, dark viridescent irises pool into yours before he looks at his partner. “heh, ‘kuna. you think we’ll get less probation if we play with the pretty lady for a bit?”

sukuna goes next to you, snatching your pen from you and you gasp once he’s now gripping your entire face. you nearly gnaw on your lip, as you make direct eye contact. his touch was still surprisingly gentle nonetheless.

toji purrs, running a thumb against your skin-tight fishnets. “nah, right pretty girl? you ain’t gonna rat on us, are ya? at least not when you’re this soaked.”

damn,

he was right again. the reason your legs were shut tight was because you were trying oh so desperately to hide the mess right between your thighs. it was embarrassing—the stickiness that presses against your legs has you growing more and more aroused. so unprofessional, you had to keep repeating that in the back of your head. you were soddened, soaking right through your pretty laced panties despite how much you didn’t want to come to terms with your filthy state. you’ve dealt with so many criminals. more than you could count on both fingers, so what made these two any different? you didn’t know, and quite frankly, you didn’t care.

anymore,

technically if you wanted to be delusional, you were basically off work. so a little fun wouldn’t matter.

then again, this little stunt would probably cost you your badge.

but screw it.

this kinda thing only happened in movies. and besides, it was only you currently on the clock. no one could even find out … right?

wrong.

you of course weren’t thinking about the future consequences that would creep up to follow you before you found yourself now shamefully on your knees for sukuna. he snickers at you, giving you a brief head pat before dragging your face up to his jeans.

“aw,” he murmurs, and you hear the low rasp of toji’s chuckle behind you. rough hands of his caress against both sides of your ass before pulling up your pencil skirt. you try to turn around but sukuna makes you shift your focus back towards him. “nah, detective. isn’t followin’ instructions part of y’er job? eyes down here..”

with a moan escaping from your throat, sukuna tugs down the lower part of his jumpsuit. the fabric ruffles and you’re met with a big bulge. oh, he was big. your first instinct was to paw at it with your hands, yet sukuna makes you rub your face against it. you can’t help but moan, sticking out your tongue as your face’s being smeared against his bulgy hard-on. “toji, she’s fuckin’ hungry. look at ‘er.”

toji hums, a finger of his trailing against your fishnets. they were skin tight, stuck against your skin like velcro. he groans, feeling the way you teasingly wriggle your ass against him. it was around midnight, surely no one would show up in the interrogation room—

although, the thought of it made you a bit more wet. you couldn’t lie to yourself though, you were familiar with these two criminals. you’d be crazy not to, everyone knew the toji fushiguro and sukuna ryōmen.

the duo,

you saw them all the time on local news. their mugshots would always get leaked. they’d always smile in their shots—gaining so much love from ladies. ironic, they even have fanfictions made about them.

there’s toji with the smug eye half-lidded grin, and then sukuna with the raised chin, natural fang-like teeth and grim annoyed expression.

your job was to question them not to be on your knees, but you weren’t complaining.

“all this ass,” toji snaps you out of your trance, gifting your rear a mean spank. the recoil of it drags you out of your little fantasm before you bite your lip and you’re facing directly forward. “what do ya want princess? want more don’t ya?”

you nod, sukuna’s cupping your chin with a sneer but your ass is only met with another rude smack.

“i- i want you both,” you grumble, toji smugly hums from your cute attitude. he’s taking in all of you — your curves, the cute beige trench coat you had on in an attempt to cover up your secret flashy outfit underneath, all of it. toji was handsy, once he had his hands on your hips, they were glued on. he groans from your answer before a thumb slides against your waist. “please.”

“but detective’s aren’t this dumb are they?” sukuna cranes his head to the right, squeezing both of your cheeks together with one hand. your lips were all glossy. he smears a thumb against them before leaning down to give you a kiss. you moan, kissing back before he pulls away, a lustrous concoction of spit departing from both mouths. “you sure you not gonna rat us out? both our lives are technically in your hands, princess.”

“i’m not gonna t- ah,” you stop to gasp, feeling toji’s bulge rub against you. his grip was delicate, he rubs yourself against him and groans. your arch was cute, bent over the table with your chest pressed against the multitude of paperwork. averting your lewd gaze back up towards sukuna, you loll out your tongue. he looks down, watching you create a snail trail of saliva near the middle part of his bulge. he’s so thick, the fabric tastes cottony against your tongue as you stare up at him. cerulean blue boxers with a tag sticking out from the side, yeah he definitely stole that. sukuna’s still got a grip on your scalp before he ogles at you pulling his boxers down. “s- so big.”

with a fat thumb still pressing down against your bottom lip, he coos out a sly tune. “scared yet?” and you prove him wrong by wrapping a hand around his base but god, he had staggering inches to him. toji’s still behind you and you moan once you feel him bring a wet kiss to your right ass cheek. he gives it a smooch only to spank it yet again, playfully giving it a bite mark. sukuna had just the right amount of curve to him. he’s so heavy that it hangs a bit — a pretty tannish peel of foreskin that you just wanted to run your tongue along. so you do. your mouth starts to gradually water as you inch up closer, and closer . . and closer.

sukuna’s staring at you with ruby red irises. you present his tip with a tiny lick and he grunts, your tongue feeling cold and dampened. “ugh, good girl. this is what that fuckin’ mouth should be used for. not talkin’ people’s ears off.”

his cock had a bit of a beige tan—sliding the top of your tongue against his frenulum, you watch as he grunts. sukuna’s fingers still maintain a firm enough grip against your scalp before you feel toji’s tongue. you whine, feeling the aching sensation of the other criminal propped up behind you preparing for a taste. toji roughly yanks your panties to the side, already pulling down your fishnets before he runs his nose all down your sopping, slick slit. “mhm, ‘kuna she’s already fuckin’ wet. all this time she was tryna get us to confess but her sloppy pussy’s the real culprit.”

rotund fingers of toji’s brush against your folds that were happily presented out to him—you’re facing forward and sukuna grabs ahold of his length. with a big hand, he rubs the tubby fat head of his tip over your face to make you moan before finally putting it in your mouth. he’s lengthy, you knew taking him inside would be quite the literal stretch. the girth too, so delicious. a vein that runs down the side of his shaft pulses in your mouth and you luxuriate in the taste. you hear the faint sound of ruffling behind you and it’s toji fondling with the holster that’s attached to your hip. “m-mhm,” were your muffled babbles, slowly taking every inch of sukuna down your tight throat. up until he’s all the way down, you almost gag whilst toji sneaks your firearm from out of its protective belt.

damn,

not only were you soaking wet for two criminals you were supposed to interrogate, but you were also unarmed.

great,

sukuna grabs a fistful of your hair — slender fingers massaging your scalp before giving it a firm pull. a hand of his claws into your hair, tugging firmly at your roots that cling against your scalp. he gruffly groans at your tongue, watching as your eyes close and your throat’s just so warm. it’s tight, the tense muscles in his and tighten before he slowly starts to drag your head back and forth, “good girl, no more talkin’ yeah,” and he peeks back at toji who’s paying his attention to you from behind. the other criminal’s messy, smearing a thumb down your pulsating clit before sucking it. it’s long, long sluuuurps that makes your muffled moans grow louder. your body shakes vigorously. the unsteady squirms of your body makes toji chuckle and you feel his hot, tempid breath ghost again your folds. you try to turn around but sukuna prevents it, gripping the crown of your head. “nuh uh princess, eyes up here.”

your body’s mixed with so much emotions — the throbbing without you only grows stronger, and as you’re rutting against the table, you hear the loud repetitive creaks. the furniture was wooden and worse for wear, probably over a hundred years old you’d guess. sukuna’s thin nostrils flare up once he meets your gaze, watching your head bob. “mmhh,” you try to speak, but he hums, ruffling your hair.

“don’t try ‘ta speak with your mouth full, baby,” he purrs to you in a rasp, a hand sliding underneath your chin, feeling the saliva trickle its way out the creaks of your lips. “you’re so messy. fuckin’ slobber mouth.”

toji’s practically making out with your cunt, pointed hooked tip of his nose brushing against your opening hood and you moan. he’s so nasty, taking every possible opportunity to spit on your cunt, later lapping it up with his tongue. two broad hands spread your ass open, lolling out his tongue to taste every inch you provided. “mhm,” he groans, occasionally swatting a sharp smack near both templed cheeks of your ass. you weren’t gonna last at all, you knew that. you start to grind against his face and he hums, nibbling against your clit either a sly smile. “thaaaat’s it, fuck back against my face, give it ‘t me,” and your entire body’s shaking. as you throat’s being stuffed, your chest continues to rumble against the cold, slick table.

toji feels your hand sneaking between your pried open thighs before you try to cutely creep and touch yourself. “whore, we don’t do that.” he grumbles, smacking your hand away. you whine, eyes meeting back up at sukuna who shrugs with a grin. his way of telling you, ‘ he’s right. don’t touch yourself. ’

as you taste a bit of pre-cum on your tongue, you lap your twitching moving muscle over sukuna’s slit that runs down his shaft’s head. he hisses, pulling you further onto his cock until he hears a tiny gag. “ooh, ‘m reachin’ the roof, huh,” and it’s so much saliva pouring from your mouth that it’s slithering down the valley of your chest. your legs shiver, feeling the scrap of toji’s scar tickle against your pussy — so good. he purposely rubs against your clit with it, feeling your hips continue to grind further back against his face. “she likes your scar toji, she’s kinky.”

“i know she does,” toji snickers, rubbing his face, smearing it all against your wet cunt. you whimper, faint hairs of his stubble sticking against your skin from the gripping slick. it’s just filthy, his tongue swirls all around your cunt before giving it a sloppy french kiss. you’re so close to the edge, focusing your mouth on sukuna’s cock, mentally pinching yourself because if this was a dream, you didn’t want to ever wake up. toji’s a freak though because you suddenly gasp sharply, feeling his thumb poke its way against your neglected, puckering hole.

“heh, can’t forget about her too.” he gruffly jibes, his tongue flicking towards that same area before shifting back towards your needy cunt. your legs were so jittery, on its last and final hinges before you slide a hand inside your blouse.

“awww,” sukuna teases, watching your face contort into a mixture of pleasure. “someone’s close, huh. you wanna make a mess on that bum’s face, pretty girl?”

“fuck you, man,” toji shoots him a glare before spreading your ass just a bit wider. his long tongue delves between your folds before your back arches against the table. giving your ass one final spank, you end up finishing and it’s so much.

you’re stunned, taken aback as you gush right on his face. his chin was sleek, dripping down with your honeyed juices that he laps clean. you’re a twitching, slobbering mess—frantically heaving through full lungs before many second’s later, your throat’s being poured full of sweltering hot cum. it’s oozing down your throat slowly. you blink twice before even realizing it’s his taste that’s filling up your mouth. sukuna’s meaty thighs tense as he drags you closer toward his cock. your nose bristles against his pink flushed pubes before he continues to dump an entire load right down your now full throat.

“goddamn,” he sucks the air, watching as you swallow without him even having to tell you—you look so pretty, pretty plump lips still sheeny and a few droplets of his seed bedaub against the left side of your cheek. “didn’t know defectives have such a nasty t- throat,” he groans, and that’s when he leans down, pulling you into a sultry, warm kiss. toji rolls his eyes, getting up himself while rubbing his body against your already propped up ass. docile, blown irises remain on sukuna before he squeezes your chin, curling his tongue down your throat. he groans, tasting himself on your mouth, bitterly sweet.

“yeah just forget about me,” toji grimaces, and you feel sukuna’s lips contort into a subtle smile before pulling away. he darkly chuckles, eyeing his partner.

“oh, sweetheart don’t be like that.”

“shut up,” he glares, and you hear a bit of shuffling. toji grabs your firearm and you take a few seconds to catch your breath. slow steady beats, you let off a tiny moan once you feel a smooth yet cold sensation rub against your pussy. shivering, you bite your lip before hearing yourself squelch continuously. “fuck, lemme see how wet you are, doll.”

you let off a tiny moan, feeling toji slowly skim the muzzle against your clit — you pulse from the friction, the criminal slicks a tongue against his scar at the sight. sukuna watches, cupping your chin once more. “wonder what y’r lieutenant might think of you. don’t think this is in a detective’s handbook, is it not?”

“n- no,” you feel a wave of pleasure ripple through you. never in your life have you felt more aroused, toji’s brushing the front part of the gun against your pussy before easing it inside.

easily, you coat it with your previous slick before it starts to slowly shove in. you whine, bringing a hand over your mouth. “mph,” and you hear a low cackle from behind, thighs shaking in pure rapture.

“is she wet enough, ‘toj?” toji hums, giving you another brief head pat.

“yeah, fuckin’ slut made a mess already on the front sight,” he snarls. the tint in his pants growing hard. he pulls it out and already, it’s a slippery sheet of your sweet smearing over your own firearm. dirty thoughts purged your brain, imagining yourself using the exact same weapon on a threat, the same exact weapon that was just shoved deep into your cunt only a second ago.

you were egregiously throbbing and they both couldn’t wait anymore, neither could you. toji takes a seat near one of the steel chairs, sitting manspread. he’s already got his jumpsuit pulled down, burly brawny muscles flexing—a few explicit tattoos painting on both sleeves of his beefy arm. he’s so chiseled, so fucking hot. a big hand rubs his lap before ushering you to sit with a single hand motion. “sit on it,” and a burning heat overtakes you, peering at his thick cock that was stood tall and on display. he was so big, a blushing reddened tip with an even bigger base. toji was thickset, you couldn’t compare the two if you wanted. his neck lowers as you make your way on his lap, straddling him and preparing to align yourself. sopping wet sloshes squelches, you were drooling down from your cunt and right onto the fat tip of his dick. you moan, feeling how he’s slowly entering your heated core.

the stretch was so good — so fucking good.

“fuck, there we go baby. nice ‘n slow, yeah,” and toji catches sukuna staring, an annoyed scowl on his lips. “oh, sweetheart. ‘s someone jealous? why don’t you get in here?”

“tch,” sukuna mumbles, and he goes up behind you. toji’s barely in, halfway, yet it feels like full. you pulsed at the thought of both of them inside. sukuna hesitates though, planting a kiss near the inside of your nape. “whaddya say, pretty. ‘s that okay? ‘d ya want both? can you take two?”

“y— yes,” you suck your teeth, sucking a single sharp breath. toji was so fucking big, stirring up your insides so good until the butterflies fluttering inside your stomach died from the friction. it was a tight fit, and they both hum at how quick you were to respond. “i can take both. pleaseplease just hurry.”

“what ‘bout your ‘lil date?” toji teases, a big hand smacking against your ass — gifting it a solid firm squeeze. his thumb brushes against the soft skin before snickering at you. “both holes, if we give you that, you promise this goes off the record?”

sukuna whispers against your ear, and he’s starting to delve his cock in also, tugging down his boxers halfway. “yeah, princess. no snitchin’ yeah?”

“p- promise,” you moan, the mixture of both cocks brewing up such a feeling of bliss. you’re steadily throbbing before your hips start to move into toji. with a loud pop, your cunt squelches as it’s double stuffed and they both huskily groan in simultaneous unison. so fucking big, your jaw drops at both tips puncturing into you at once. you feel it all, embarrassingly feeling the same familiar sheet of slick stick against your thighs. “oh my g-goddd.”

each body that stuck against each other was so hot, sukuna grabs your hips from the back and toji holds yours from the front. “fuck,” the pink haired man grunts, feeling how easily you clamp down against him. toji’s cock kisses—french kisses against a spongey spot that makes you dumbly slump against his chest. “mhm, look at her toji. such a sloppy mess for two criminal cocks. maybe she should get arrested.”

“then that’d be no fun,” toji plays along, a scarred hand giving your right ass cheek a teasing grip.

the recoil bounces and bounces against his lap before he’s tossing his head back. occasionally, you spot his adam’s apple bobbing before he pants. you’re jerking your hips, trying to develop some kind of rhythm but it’s just rubbish. you’re trying, both cocks molding your walls with each merciless thrust. already, you’re drooling, brushing up against toji’s chest. you’re hit face first against his tits—not even tits but with cups that big, you might as well call it that. there’s not a single thought in your empty brain, and without thinking, you lean down to latch your mouth against his perky exposed nipples. “wha- fuckin’ weirdo.”

toji grunts, feeling you suck against his chest, rolling out your tongue into a swirl against each spot. you’re still being filled from both cores, both heated angles as your lashes flutter. oh, this felt like some kind of erotic fantasy, just being stuffed and sandwiched between two top dogs. the pit of your stomach grows feverishly warm and you whine, sucking against toji’s tender skin. “aw, think you might be her favorite, toji.” sukuna jeers, steadying your hips a bit. his voice, his breath, it went right up against the lobe of your ear, giving it a teasing lick of its own.

you whimper, naturally arched brows creasing and furrowing together as you feel a coil snap.

they finally reached your g-spot, it feels soft and padded. “fuck fuuuuck, ‘s good,” you babble, pathetic sobs pouring from your lips as you’re practically humping toji’s cock. sukuna fills you from behind, flustered crown repeatedly kissing up against clenching sexes. you’re transmitted in a dimwitted state, claws of your own fingernails digging into toji’s beefy thighs. “ngh, ‘s big. fuck, don’t stop— please.”

“what a fuckin’ blabbermouth,” toji grunts, watching as you paw your hands at his chest again. you weren’t sucking on him anymore and he brings a hand over your mouth. “nasty girl. this what you really wanted all along, huh. you didn’t wanna interrogate us, you just wanted to get stuffed, yeah?”

a silent reply comes out of your lips as you’re just covering their bases with a translucent puddled mess of your arousal — it’s messy, you’re messy.

“knock knock, dumb girl,” toji lightly knocks against your forehead, witnessing right before his eyes as your own pupils start to roll back. he removes his hand from your mouth and the intense friction of pleasures was so appetizing you could barely formulate an audible sentence. you’re still being filled in both areas, gummy walls taking in them both before you start to drool again. with a single hand, toji holds up your head as if he’s holding a trophy. “don’t tell me y’r already dumb, c’monnn. wanna hear that sweet voice.”

“t- tooooji,” was all you could babble out, rocking back and forth between each of them.

languid, slow hits against your core had your head spinning. with a sharp wind cutting straight out of your windpipe, you’re panting, clinging onto the dark haired man tightly. he eyes you with that same cunning smirk, clammy hands helping to reel you back and forth into his pelvis. sukuna groans lowly, edges of his teeth seeping down into the soft corners of your flesh. “fuck, ‘m so full. fuuuck.”

they both groan at the same time, feeling you suddenly clamp down, a squelch squeals out of your cunt before your legs merely collapse. with piles of hands roaming down your feverish skin, you start to feel your mouth salivate again.

sweet, salty saliva trickles its way into your mouth. you were so loud but your deafening thumping heart beats were even louder. “good girl, doin’ so good takin’ us both. nice ‘n slow,” and the nape of your neck’s met with a chaste kiss from sukuna. “ride this bum ‘till he breaks for me, yeah?”

with wobbling legs preparing to surrender and fall in defeat— you nod your head, picking up your pace just a bit. raven strands of unkempt hair run down toji’s face before he groans. “mhm, nasty ‘lil girl. don’t listen to him, ‘m not gonna— oh fuck.”

toji’s caught off guard by how sloppy your hips become. a breath gets caught in his throat as you’re grinding against him, sucking them both in so filthy. with your clit repeatedly being smothered with kisses from each tip, you moan, throwing your arms over his shoulders. “hngh, toji. ‘m gonna cum,” you whisper in his ear, growing a bit of spine to kiss near his neck. he grunts, thick weighty cock slamming into you raw. as you’re so close up to him, you feel his jaw tighten at your hips—sukuna’s hips following too. various pairs of hands grab onto your body, and you feel a jumble of bunch of figurative red handed prints clawing at your body. “toji t- tojiiii,” you’re mewling out his name like a broken record. sukuna’s rude sharp smack against your ass making you add his name. “sukuna, fuuuck.”

“look at him, he’s so close, baby,” sukuna murmurs against your ear, jerking your hips further against toji. toji’s raspy groans grow rougher and he slouched back against the chair. you’re in nothing more than a cowgirl position yet you’re being double stuffed by two — on toji’s lap and sukuna claiming you from behind. so lewd, he’s so close that he could almost taste his orgasm, the thought alone scratches such a carnal itch in his brain. a few fingers wrap around your neck, giving you a gentle tug before you croak out a squeak. “such a nasty detective. gettin’ wet for the people y’r supposed to be questioning,” and he reaches his a hand down between the crack of your thighs, feeling against your stuffed cunt. “should be questioning this sloppy girl instead.”

“fuck fuuuuck,” toji growls, his own thigh starting to mimic the pace of your hips, bouncing back and forth. the curve of your hips swivel ‘n swirl around his lap, taking in each salacious thrust. it’s too good. the mean grip your walls has against his cock, both cocks was just too addictive. “shit, ‘m gonna cum, babygirl. ‘s gonna be so much.”

you lean in, planting a wet kiss against his scar and his mouth twitches at the sudden contact. “mhm,” you rut into him quicker, feeling sukuna’s fingertips ghost against the outer part of your neck. toji’s eyes become half-lidded, sukuna’s following his movements — eventually matching each other in sync, in perfect harmony. both were reaching their peaks and it was just so inevitable.

slowly but surely, it was approaching. you felt that familiar bubble of pleasure fermenting in the bottom pits of your tummy all too well. it’s so good, by now you completely forgotten about the fact that you were supposed to go out tonight.

“fuck, where do you want it, pretty,” sukuna rasps against your ear, both hands slithering its way toward your bouncing tits. his thumbs prod against your sensitive nipples, swiping against the tender area as he watches you squirm in lewd ecstasy. you feel hot, dozens of meaningless babbles pouring out of your mouth. you’re a mess, barely able to comprehend what he said until he spanks your cunt a single greet. “talkin’ to you, gimme a answer, princess. don’t be rude.”

“i- inside,” you whimper, his touch against your breasts making you grind your hips further back against him. your rhythm was hypnotic, matching every single hit and thrust. both cocks deeply plunge their way into your walls until it’s buried way into the hilt. you whine, grabbing into sukuna’s hands yourself, making him squeeze harder. his touch, it made you throb. him spanking your cunt only made you twice as sopping wet though. more than you already were. “inside pleaseplease.”

“nasty,” toji tchs, gripping your chin to make you look up at him. you’re met with the coldest gaze. with a hand sliding down your spine from sukuna, toji brings your torso forward at a more quick pace to slam you quicker into them. you gasp, feeling both slit tips thwack and thwack into your weeping, swollen cunt. “fuckin’ — shit,” he growls lowly, and the moment finally comes.

the both of them at separate, divided times, finish deep inside you. a vastly oozing amount of cum emits into both holes raw and you huff.

whining, you fall into toji’s chest, relishing in the sticky mess that’s cascading deep into your womb. it’s hot, a flowing stream of seed that spouts all the way inside and you’re left dumbfounded and hungry for more.

oh, you’ve never felt anything like it. a tingling sensation storms into the pit of your stomach as they both groan, dumping you full of their satiny ropes of cum.

“fuck,” sukuna grunts, holding your hips still so you could feel every drop, every single drop. he hisses at the brief sting, your walls gripping onto them tight, a tenaciously slimy mess skating down your plush thighs. “such a good girl, heh. right ‘toj?”

“shut— up,” he puffs out an elongated breath of fresh air. you moan, still shivering as you came undone yourself, making a cute attempt at riding out your orgasm. still, your hips were slow but barely cresting haste. toji looks at you with glossed eyes and for a split second, he’s speechless. “goddamn baby, y- you’re a mess, y’know that?”

your own eyelids were growing significantly heavy, barely able to keep themselves open. after a few seconds, sukuna pulls out, watching a foamy wad of cum — a milky base, coating around each base. it’s so hot, the stuffed cum pours out of you and you hear the needy squelches your cunt makes. desperately craving for more, utterly devestated that it’s now clenching on nothing except for toji’s flaccid cock.

so messy,

he cranes your head toward him before brushing a thumb against your lip. “c’mere,” and his tone was low, you moan before leaning in to give him a kiss. your heart races, mentally swearing at yourself because this wasn’t part of the job.

your boss, some middle-aged lieutenant was expecting a full report of alibis and details about each of their cases — and yet here you were, making out with one suspect and grinding on another. shame foils at your brain as your lips crash against sukuna’s, moaning at his minty, sugary taste before he abruptly breaks away. “can’t forget about you, big guy.”

as he pried himself off of you, you watch as the pink haired criminal leans in to kiss toji, his eyes widen, hearing a low cackle rumble against his lips before he returns the gesture. toji puffs, not knowing where to place his hands. you don’t know why, but watching them sloppily make out made you throb. you’re still sitting on toji’s lap with his twitching cock still buried inside of you. sukuna slyly smiles against the other felon’s mouth. his hand trails down toji’s beefy body, stopping toward his shaft — he was so close to touching it but stops. that makes toji groan.

gradually, he pulls away - a sheeny web of spit departs from each lips and toji grows flustered.

“what the fuck.” toji grunts.

“oh, i heard that moan, don’t deny it.”

it was like this the entire time — countless banner, a plethora of positions in the interrogation room. the same interrogation room where you were supposed to be interrogating.

but that didn’t happen, and instead, you’ve been left stuffed full more than you’ve ever felt before. your clothes were practically torn and ruined, including your pretty fishnets.

with a sigh, you’re on your knees with both criminals gawking at you. their zipped up saffron-colored jumpsuits were back on and toji grabs your chin. “open, baby,” and sukuna’s toying with your handcuffs. knees of yours bury into the solid sleek floor before you part your lips open. toji watches, whipping back out your firearm before pressing the barrel between your lips. “lick it.”

you moan, lapping your tongue against the metal pierce—sukuna watches, growing quiet and wonders what toji’s gonna do next. you could feel your pulse through your ears again, it’s so loud that it puts booming speakers to shame.

pretty fluttering lashes of yours bat within each blink before toji bends down a bit toward your kneeling level. “good girl,” he roughly replies, sticking a finger between the trigger. it toggles against it and you feel a heat of nerves prick against your skin—giving birth to what appears to be goosebumps. toji has a smug grin, raising a dark brow. “you trust me, baby?”

stupidly enough, without hesitation, you nod with the metallic taste of the weapon still lingering on your tastebuds. “y- yes,” and your voice is so soft and pathetic. you sounded needy, longing for more of their touch, more of their taste. “i trust you toji.”

he makes your mouth pry open a bit more. pretty swollen lips,

perfect.

the gun, your gun that’s held currently in his hand, it goes straight into your mouth, your tongue flicks against the upper part of the barrel before he scoffs. “good girl.”

and you hear a single clicking cock,

your eyes widen, and it takes you a minute to realize toji just pulled the trigger.

but nothing happens,

and suddenly, his boner was ruined.

“well shit.”

[intheshadowsbehindyou]

Mercs proposing hc?? So basic but Im literally one corny mf

The TF2 Mercs proposing to their partners

WARNING: Mild gore gifts because this is the Mercs we’re talking about here.

—————————————————————————

Scout:

- Biggest panic attack of his fucking life. Has no idea how to function like a normal human being anymore. It was that feeling of being in love with somebody all over again and needing to tell them. What’s worse about this though is that marriage is a huge commitment. One that many aren’t ready for yet. What if you reject him and he messes this relationship up?

- Goes to Spy for comfort. In all honesty he’s just a very damaged little boy on the inside and scared that he is incapable of receiving unconditional love. The other Mercs catch him behind the base crying into Spy’s shoulder on the curb while Spy holds him. He’s telling Spy how much he loves you; and how terrified he is that you cannot return that same vow. Spy knows the feeling. “Shh, mon lapin.” Boy howdy Spy’s certainly grateful that Scout’s mom didn’t teach him a word of french.

- Spy has to shove Scout into your room to actually finally get him to do it. “Your idiot boyfriend has a few words for you, and apparently I have to be present or i’m certain he’ll break down crying again.” He says to you. While poor Scout curls up into a ball on the floor.

————————————————————————-

Soldier:

- First of all, why him? Second of all, this is the type of guy to go all out and spend half the money he earned in mercenary work to get one of those “will you marry me Y/N?” banners hooked up to a plane. Complete with the pilot being ejected and the plane crashing nose first into a rock formation. Apparently that was 100% intentional because a bunch of confetti came out of the explosion. You don’t know if you should be horrified at the audacity, or head over heels.

- Brings you an entire necklace of ears. But that’s not all! For limited time only you can get one of soldiers’ severed heads that was purposely boiled and skull cut into the shape of a helmet! Great, right? “Wow, what type of animal is this?” You ask. “A DOG. PACKAGED WITH PURE, NO ARTIFICIAL FLAVOR, PASTEURIZED AMERICAN GLORY!” well that’s not reassuring. “OOOHH SAAAAY CAAAAN YOU SEEE—“ Soldier immediately gets hit over the head by Heavy and knocked unconscious.

- After the initial silliness dies down you see adoration as you tend to his awful head wound. Maybe Heavy knocked the stupidity out of him? No. He’s still insane. Soldier grabs your wrist as you apply alcohol to his wound and squeezes your hand. “Somebody like me doesn’t deserve somebody like you.” He says. “Bullshit, Soldier.” You say, leaning in for a kiss.

—————————————————————————

Demoman:

- He can only achieve this when drunk off his mind. Not to mention it arrives in the most unromantic way possible. But it doesn’t make you love him any less. He holds you close to him after a New Years party at the base and pats your back. “Jus’ so you know, you’d look mighty fine with a ring on your finger.” He flirts, getting incredibly physically affectionate. He makes sure never to cross your boundaries.

- “Me mum would kill me but fuck all. y’know? Old wench’s days are numbered anywae. We could live ina nice cottage by the sea.. If ya want wee lil’ bastards I’ll actually take care of em. I’d have to stop me drinkin tho.” He says, pecking your neck. His remaining eye is pleading with you to say yes. “Pleaaase?”

- Has no recollection of these events in the morning so imagine his dumbfounded expression when one of the Mercs asks about his new fiancé. Cue the embarrassment mixed with pride and excitement.

—————————————————————————

Engineer:

- Will 100% go to your window in the dead of night and sing a song for you on his guitar. Particularly I imagine this would be the contender. You have no idea this is even a marriage proposal. You just think he’s being incredibly sappy. Imagine the surprise while mid song he pulls out a small box and throws it up and down recklessly like a baseball. You’re slowly beginning to catch on as he opens it with his free fingers after finishing the song.

- Complete overconfident show off. He pep-talked himself before all this and rehearsed his performance repeatedly. By using the wrangler and effortlessly throwing the box up in the air and propelling it forward with a single bullet, the sentry successfully aided in getting the box up to you. You don’t even know how you managed to catch it, to be honest.

- Tips his hardhat to you. “Whadda say? Marry me?” He can barely contain his smile. Both excited and somewhat relieved he pulled that off.

—————————————————————————

Heavy:

- “Heavy made you dead person crown..” He walks into your room one day and puts it on your head. It’s a bunch of severed ears meant to resemble a flower crown. “Hey, thanks big guy.” You’re grateful for the gift, being a crazed Merc yourself is it really any surprise? You give him a huge kiss on the cheek. Heavy looks thrilled that you accepted his gift. Which is very much unlike him. Usually he’s reserved. Maybe he’s just having a good day?

- Well.. you eventually find out why. That was apparently his way of proposing to you. Soldier nudges you the next morning and teases you for being engaged to Heavy. You’re horrified to say the least. You had no idea this meant marriage. Not that you wouldn’t marry him. But what about his gun Sasha? Wouldn’t she feel jealous? You’ve been with Heavy so long you keep referring to that damn thing as a person.

- Immediately upon seeing you; goes up to you and gives you a list of stuff he wants at this wedding. There’s even a blank page for you to write your own needs. He seems oddly motivated to plan this out months before it actually happens. There is countless mentions of Russian authors he wants to attend the wedding. As if they’d ever consider going to a stranger’s wedding. “If they won’t come then Heavy will crush them..” He says. Same goes for your guests.

—————————————————————————

Pyro:

- Wow.. Kind of the most normal out of all of them. For the most part. If TF2 took place in modern day they’d propose with a ringpop but all they have is a bag of candy and an actual ring (That they may or may not have stolen from someone in Tuefort.)

- They get on their knees and offer the ring to you in an extremely professional manner. It’s quite surreal to see Pyro pull off something so domestic and normal when he’s always destroying stuff with fire. In fact this is a little too normal.. This is Team Fortress we’re talking about here. Shouldn’t something be wacky happening right about now? It’s like the perfect opening for slapstick. Through your cries of love and laughter you begin to feel anxious at the back of your head.

- Yup.. There it is. Pyro tells you that Scout offered to be the ‘Ring bear’ for the wedding. There’s Scout dressed up in a cutesy teddy bear costume. You’re certain that’s not how it works. “Just for the record, if you tell anybody about this, I’ll fuckin’ saw off both your knees boston sandwich style. Capeesh?” He says. You have no idea what that means so you quickly agree.

————————————————————————-

Sniper:

- Afraid he’s going to mess it up, much like Scout. Gets incredibly physically ill as a result from stress and isolates himself in his camper van. You’re convinced he wants to tell you something but you have no idea what it is. One day on the frontlines an arrow narrowly misses your face and embeds itself into the wall next to you. You were about to turn around and bombard Sniper until you saw the note attached to it. “Pardon, Will you marry me? -Sniper.” With a very worried sad face drawn next to the note. He even bothered to draw his hat on it.

- Disbelief clouds your face at first. Sniper? Marry another Merc? You’re in shock. This isn’t something you’d ever suspect from a guy like him. But your initial thought makes way for an uncontrollable smile.

- He literally will not approach you first after this. You have to knock on his camper van because god knows he won’t be even able to face his team for months. As you jump into his arms and kiss him he immediately pulls you inside to love on you in private.

———————————————————————-

Medic:

- WOULD RATHER SHOOT HIMSELF

- Just kidding. But he wishes he were dead right now. How could he do something so… Un-mad-sciencey? Marriage is just a concept brought upon by money hungry people. It only exists within the mind… Yet, that’s how he feels. An eternal vow to you is something he wishes to do. He’s already planned to make you a god alongside him once the time came so you could be his beloved consort forever. It reminded him of the greek story of soulmates.

- Gets a little fruitier than usual. The most feminine moan you ever heard left this man’s body as you brushed against him while trying to help him grab a syringe he dropped. This man gets unusually hornier and that’s how you know something’s up.. “Looking up my skirt, I see!” He says, as you glance up his long lab coat. There isn’t anything there but his pants so you roll your eyes. “Ah yes.. “ You respond. You decide he’s just clingy and horny as usual and carry about your assistance. You’re not in the mood for that. He never even bottoms so he’s feigning it anyway.

- “Err—Uh— Ho! Wouldn’t it be just shameful if I knew what was going on inside your head?” He asks. “Alright, i’ll bite. What are you saying, Doc?” You sigh. He fixes his glasses back up on his face thoughtfully. “One body, one mind. That would be quite intriguing don’t you think? If we were to.. Become one.” He placed an odd amount of emphasis on that, as if the thought was simply music to his ears. Lord he’s creepy. Medic grabs you and holds you close to him. “Think of the possibilities. We’d never be lonely again. I could stitch our bodies together and we could feel each other’s essence. Forever.”

- “Medic, you good?” You ask. Although his words were strangely flattering nonetheless in their own way. You smile at him. He seems to be lost in the idea. Fantasies of being with you for eternity flood his head. Particularly ones where you’re both a weird hybrid god. Weirdest marriage proposal world record goes to Medic.

—————————————————————————-

Spy:

- No, no no no no no. He can’t do this again. Marriage never worked out for him. After losing Scout’s mom and many partners that followed, he couldn’t bare hurting somebody like that again. His job always got in the way of what he truly desired but he had to live with it. This life chose him after all. His hand was forced into this position. Seeing your bright smile for the rest of his days was all he ever wanted. His urges to get up and say something to you were too strong.

- Has to metaphorically slap himself in the face and remind himself to act like a fucking adult. He wasn’t a little rambunctious teenager in Paris anymore. Yet he felt like one whenever he saw you. Such boyish feelings for an old put together gentleman like him. Spy decided to trust you and himself. But if something went wrong he wouldn’t hesitate to jump off a fucking cliff. Spy would stare at his reflection in the bathroom mirror for hours and contemplate his decision before making it.

- He proposes to you under a starry moonlit night. Not even bothering to kneel down, he slides the box across the balcony to you. “Well?” he asks, taking a long drag of his cigarette. His eyes fixated on the horizon. “Do I have to say it?” He asks. “Yes..” You tell him. Your eyes gleaming with joy. You never felt happier in your entire life. “Fine.. Will you marry m—“ He couldn’t even finish before you jump on him, ultimately knocking you both down.

[camilaxmartin]

gonna put them emoji’s again💀😭 so it would be: 🥑🍬🌸🐝🎨🍄

I love using these TOTALLY USEFUL emoji’s so I picked em🥰

you don’t use avocado/bee/mushroom everyday? what are you even doing?🙄

BUT ANYWAY

🥑: you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?

probably @bunnylove1 and @blookyag, idk why tho honestly, just getting the vibes they’d help somebody out with hiding the body💀 (it’s a compliment, i swear-)

🍬: post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character:

okay uhh- (don’t cancel me plz) i respect with my whole heart that alastor is asexual and (?) aromantic but i don’t get the hate people receive when shipping him with someone? as far as i know being on the spectrum means he can still date? like i know, he doesn’t show any interest in that but if its just for a silly au or for a cool drawing then what’s the fuss about? i’m not talking like about erasing that part of him because that’s a big no no for me, but like…? respecting it but still having fun with his character? i saw a great tiktok explaining my thoughts exactly so maybe i’ll link it here if i can find it (add the link here later camila:) (besides all that i project a lot of myself onto alastor (still debating if im aromantic or not) and i want to explore myself with his character (if i can even phrase it that way) so all the hate and shit really bother me, you know?)

(another thing more about whole thing not a character is that “whatever it takes” is in my top 4 songs and i don’t get the hate it gets?? i love this song?? it’s so great?? two latina (?) girls singing together?? cmon??)

🌸: do you have any pets? if you do, post some pictures of them:

i do actually! i have a dog and three rats:) (also had a rabbit but he died not so long ago and he was like my whole world so i got a tattoo to remember him, i’ll add it as well just because i can)

🐝: tag your biggest supporters and say one nice thing about them:

@kimmyisachiisaiakuma - ugh of course?? like in my head we are already besties fr fr, what can i saaaay😭 idk i love you and how supportive and just friendly you are!!:) and god of course, i love your art?? but i’ve already said it a thousand times??? so here’s one thousand first??

@bunnylove1 - just how supportive you are towards my stuff and how with exactly one request i felt like we also became besties? maybe it’s just me but yeah😭

@blookyag - liking my every post and responding to every single one of them!!! she’s a treasure, really. i’m surprised someone cares about my rambling this much💀

@informist - i’ve noticed that she’s also reacting to a lot of my stuff and she’s so quick with it like?? idk it makes my heart jump okay? i love attention from people even when it’s just my stupid rambling😭 (#iamanattentionwhore 😗😗)

@rougecreator1 - liked a lot of my posts as well, and somehow i feel like they enjoy my stuff? idk tho?😭😭 yeah just noticed interactions in my activities:)

@riveramorylunar - i feel like we were more active on each other’s accounts when i was still in my lady lesso era, but idk i really liked you then and i still love seeing your stuff pop up on my main page:)

and of course, all of my lovely anons who send me their ideas that i can’t wait to write!!:)

🎨: link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it:

okay so like it changes every day?? but for now i must say this one:

click!

why? simple. a. brokerdoll b. the marvellous style? c. i want to draw like that d. just… just look at it okay? e. lesbians.

(and a special mention for THIS as well, as it’s the first time someone ever drawn my oc and besides the fact that she looks so pretty here it’s just… idk i just love it okay, she stole my heart)

🍄: share a headcanon for one of your favourite ships or pairings:

let’s start with the fact that i even have a favourite account for all the headcanons about brokerdoll which is @vypridae (adore all the hcs, really)

buut! my personal headcanon is:

• carmilla didn’t really expect to fall for velvette, i mean in my head she just saw her as so… respectless and dumb and stupid and careless and carefree and wild and free and pretty- wait

yeah, so in my head velvette was the first to initiate anything and at first carmilla was like “ha! no way, you stupid girl” but then she started to think more and more about velvette as the time went on and one day she just got along the fact that she might be attracted to the young overlord and somehow… went with it? like she didn’t make a big deal out of it… but velvette definitely did, despite the fact she was actually the first one to say or act on her attraction in any way.

(i need to write more headcanons for them, they’re literally eating up my brain)

[gnashingwailing]

Kept notes on a reread I was doing of The Art of Love and War because I am so obsessed with the gay little borrower darkfic... sharing with u @fireflywritesgt

it falls apart at ch12 because that is where i consistently turn into a puddle under my covers kicking my legs and making sounds only audible to shrimps.

I HOPE THIS IS A SMALL TOKEN OF APPRECIATION FOR HOW GUD THIS FIC IS, SINCERELY... LIKE I SAID PUTTING THIS IN SOMEBODY'S INBOX IS PROBABLY A WAR CRIME. SO.

There is soooo muuuuch I want to saaaay. I did a reread and excuse my being verbose but.

Ch10 where Harry reads about how tinies don’t ask for things and prefer to do favors for them — how extra insulting that makes his message in Ch1!! “Just ask” no wonder Joe was so pissed!!

ALSO him feeling “dirty, somehow” about accepting chocolate that didn’t kill him… was he having a little bit of feelings for “the kind man” and it got transmuted into self-loathing… 😭 oh internalized homophobia tag we’re really in it now…

Re: ch2 I would kill for Joe’s pov of this… I’m also so fascinated to pick up the detail that Joe apparently talked to himself regularly, for Harry to hear him through the radiator pipes… one assumes Joe doesn’t have guests. Poor guy! He’s really smart! He likes talking! The assistant job is perfect for himmmm.

Re: ch3, i wonder how much Captain Calloway’s “if you die it’s your own damn fault” has influenced Joe’s life ethos of fucking around and finding out (btw… Harry would be sooo horrified to know Joe had been poisoned 3 times and still tried that chocolate 😭 yet another fun! anecdote of his) … im also kinda curious about Gutters. What’s that guy’s deal. And OF. COURSE. How Captain got all his injuries. It’s also so very sad he feels this tension with the guys, what they’d do to him if they knew more about who he really was. I love this as a metaphor for homophobia…

Ch5 I’m still fixated on the giants who are guarding the place. Hundreds of tinies going there every day… you’d think there’d be snatchers all over the place 👀 and the other great worldbuilding… lab tinies… “they were corralling everyone everywhere and the women and kids went one way…” GOD. also them building tiny capitalism plus tiny race science is just 😭😭😭 noooo… the way Harry reinforces their shared dignity and humanity by showing genuine interest in Joe’s art.. ouuuugh it hits every time.

ALSO I WAS SO SUSPICIOUS OF HILL WHEN I FIRST READ CH6 BUT NOW THST I KNOW HE IS A BONA FIDE WIFEGUY ALL IS REDEEMED. I AM so curious as to why he keeps tiny town schematics in his office if he dislikes it…

Ch7 profoundly funny to me how Hill is like “miniature is the academic term” and Joe is like what. Tinies.

I really appreciate how Harry started off having some uh. Idk. Colonizer savior complex stuff + noble savage ideas about Joe? Like “oh it’s in mother nature’s hands whether he survives then… I see…” as if the tinies social constructs about Pets are some immutable fact of nature instead of. A social construct !! It’s really well-done, how you show him gradually understanding that he needs to listen to Joe, not assume he knows what’s best for him just because he read a 50yr old anthropology book!! It makes me love Harry all the more that he managed to grow through it out of fondness for Joe 🥺

AND OF COURSE. THE G/T GOODNESS. My god. I loooooove that Joe is so creeped out by giants that he has to keep his eyes closed to stomach it… just feels. Hmm. Realistic?? It would be so overwhelming. I love that his trust gets rewarded with the doctor not hurting him…

The rapport they establish being based on talking to one another… it’s just suuuuch a perfect central theme for this story… Joe being able to tame Harry’s anger by reminding him of Joe’s own humanity. “Please don’t do that, doc. This is mean. You’re being mean.” And “you’re treating me like I’m not even… not even…” UGH. RENT FREE IN MY HEAD, WARREN. “Maybe he could do it; maybe he could sit in the same room as a giant for five minutes. He would only have to do it once, and then he would never have to do it again, he reasoned.” Bitch u thought… get loved and cared for idiot…

Joe asking him “why not”, echoing Harry’s words that stuck with him…

And then him being sooo pissed at the phone it’s just absolutely amazing stuff. Wagging his finger at it/Dr Hill lmaooo. I was hootin and hollerin when I realized this foreshadows him being the assistant!!! He can talk on the phone just fine!!!!

His legs threatening to give way from the prospect of Harry seeing him at ground level after he escapes using the phone receiver… ouuugh. It’s SO GOOD. He’s come such a long way…

“Touching every wooden beam he passed for good luck” is INCREDIBLY cute mental imagery.., he’s happy… poor guy has awful luck tho so Harry is just pissed 😭 HIM NEARLY DESTROYING THE PLATES BECSUSE HARRY SCARED HIM SO BAD HAD ME FEELING.. SOME KIND OF WAY…

Ch8 also has the first mention of Joe’s books… I’m sooo curious where he got these.. did he perhaps make them…? 👀 YEAH HARRY SHOULD FEEL LIKE A MONSTER THO. YOU TERRORIZED A LIL MOVIE STAR!!! HE ONLY BROKE A FEW THINGS… Making him hide under his covers like he saw a monster… 😭

I love their first god awful handshake lmao. Incredible subversion of the usual g/t first meetings… Joe’s just like OK 👋 NOW GET THAT THANG OUTTA HERE

And then Joe going “I know about that!” Joe protested, his voice growing stronger. “It’s up to me, doc. If it happens, it happens and it’ll be my own damn fault.” … something tells me when Harry finally comes to understand Joe’s recklessness with his own life and what feelings about its worth may be underpinning that, he will be so sad 😔

Joe losing his toes to frostbite… realizing that could very likely be from when he was kidnapped and enslaved with O’Grady… uuuugh he’s so brave to want to connect with anybody at all let alone with Harry!!

Ch9 professor wifeguy moments… yesss… I love that he wants to hang out with another tiny too 😭 Joe is making friends!! I can’t wait to find out about Lorraine and what “other place” she knows about!!! Lmfao I can tell she’s going to be incredible just from the little bit Joe hears of her. I wonder too if she’s been marked… aahhh I’m so excited to learn more about these two. How interesting of a parallel, too, that Harry noted Dr Hill might also be a former soldier… something-something folks unable to fully integrate into society finding and building community with each other…

Also PROFOUNDLY interested to note on a reread that the tiny town on his wall says “a SAFE place to be” and the one in Riverdale said “a CIVILIZED place to be” 😬 a damn prison indeed… I also really wonder just HOW the tinies are paying their rent(?) to stay there, if they’re all as disdainful of “borrowing” as a career as O’Grady seems to be…

MAY I JUST NOTE that Joe stimming around is sooo charming to me. He’s kickin’ his legs. He’s pacing back and forth. He’s doing something like that in the walls when Harry was first listening to him. I LOVE HIM.. aND I love how this chapter we see him going from “that tall bastard (derogatory)” to “that tall bastard (amused)”

AND POOR JOE ON THE MOST CURSED FIELD TRIP IMAGINABLE. There is much to love here but I absolutely adore this imagery: “Joe buried himself in the curtain as the doctor, dressed to the nines in his work clothes and vaguely resembling a horse in a brown suit, sidled over to him and towered there and seethed.” HE’S TERRIFIED 😭 and Joe learns that other people value his wellbeing more than he does… wow Joe no need to ponder that any further until Ch15!!!

There’s SO much incredible prose in this chapter… the haaaaands oh my god the hands. The tinies are on the order of 2-3 inches tall, right? You really get a vivid sense of how big and dangerous everything is to them… absolutely A+ stuff.

This part also slays me everytime I think about it: “Joe was hidden inside [the pocket], and the thought of how unhinged his dear neighbour must look to his fellow giants as he walked and talked gave him no small amount of delight.” HE WOUUUULD.

The mystery of just what Joe created as a boy… what he can’t find it in himself to articulate… why he can hardly fathom talking about himself and his inner world to anyone …

PART 10… the difference in the way Joe confronts Harry here vs with the assistant in part 16 is somehow heartbreaking to me. I think the anger must just be displacement for how he’s really feeling (worried, uncomfortable…) and he’s more able to show his feelings to Harry with the assistants than he is now… but Joeeeee. I don’t ever want him to feel hopeless with Harry, like he just has to accept whatever he wants 😭 I love him in this chapter… Arms crossed, eyes narrowed… red faced… clawing at the air as he ranted Jdhdhdj GOD HE’S SO ICONIC: ““Nope. Not gonna happen! Veto!” Joe leapt up from the box, strode all the way to the edge of the table, and jabbed a finger at him. “I don’t know what kind of sick, twisted doctor things you intend to do to people but whatever it is, it’s not happening in my house!”” I guess I want him to still be comfortable with yelling veto at Harry lmao!!

And then Joe being like WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOU SAVING ME THE OTHER DAY. THAT MEANS NOTHING TO ME, A WILD AND INDEPENDENT TINY WHO HAD IT ALL UNDER CONTROL, AT ALL.

ALSO: the way he words this, I have a strong suspicion he does not know the word “patients”?! “”Let’s make a deal in exchange for patients. Give me something in exchange for patients.” Joe stammered. “You do that and I won’t make any trouble.””

Harry thinking of Joe as “the little bastard” in counterpoint to Joe’s “the tall bastard” really makes me smile too, hahahah.

AND THE FURTHER G/T TROPE INVERSION… just because he was willing to get in the giant’s hands one time doesn’t mean he’s suddenly fine with it!! I love how pissed they are at each other over this misunderstanding lmfao. He’s 👏 a 👏 wild 👏 tiny 👏 ‼️

And it’s so meaningful to me that the two of them bond more over sharing art with one another… Harry wants to introduce Joe to an amazing piano player… and Joe is so happy!!! The idea for a Charlie Chaplin bit with a rich miniature woman is SO inspired btw, I was as delighted as Joe was 😭 Harry being like “oh shit wait is this offensive” and then Joe just being like “THIS FUCKS SO HARD LMAO IT REALLY DO BE LIKE THAT”

And then the tragic aftermath… Harry NOTICING that he didn’t even know that he was doing anything wrong by bringing Joe there, it just FELT so dreadfully taboo (enough that Hill, who is MARRIED TO A TINY, also seems like he’s been caught doing something wrong when Harry first meets him)…. and then of course society reinforces that fear in a terrible way. Only a shared humanity regarding love of art saves poor Joe.. how lucky he’s gotten enough exposure to be able to speak in the presence of giants. You have to ponder how many tinies just as wonderfully complex as him have died for not having that skill. It’s so very sad!!! THE IMAGERY OF HIM ON THE LAMP LIKE IT’S A STREETCORNER JUST TWISTED THE KNIFE. Your writing really is so excellent, the way you can carry us through so many different emotions… Joe my belovedddd. I’m simply obsessed with the implications of him NAMING HARRY. WHAT IS /THAT/?? And the way that the narration in the story from this point on swaps to using Harry as his name… it speaks VOLUMES without you needing to elaborate on it at all. Joe has changed him! He’s becoming someone he likes better than Herman! A day we had good luck… Harry is good luck… Luck as a concept very different from what giants think of… I am absolutely enamored with how clearly he has a whole other world, another culture, that Harry can only guess at and be grateful to be included in.

JOE GETTING A NICE BATH AND A COMFORTABLE BED IN THIS CHAPTER IS JUST SO WHOLESOME (even if it will torment his Calvinist sensibilities later…) I am also so charmed to imagine how Joe must have woken up and been like “what the FUCK did I do last night. Where the HELL am I 🤨”

And then in Ch11 he’s like I WILL PROCEED NOT TO THINK OF THAT AT ALL. <- clueless

Ch11 is one of my favorites I think… we really get a good glimpse into how much heavy-duty rationalizing Joe is doing LMAO. “Taking food is fine, because I’m just using this tall bastard.” “It’s fine if I have leisure time.” “It’s fine if I like Harry and his company and I miss him when he’s gone and I want to give him a name.” “AS LONG AS I DON’T GET COMFORTABLE ALL OF THIS IS FINE.” This line is such a banger lol: “Joe Piccoli was many things as he went to sleep that night, but he was not a pet, and he was not comfortable.” And then the mouse!!! That Joe decides to draw rather than kill!!! Look at his needs being met!!!!!

IT ALSO ABSOLUTELY FUCKIN KILLED ME WHEN I REALIZED IN THIS CHAPTER THAT THE BOYS HAVE JUST. FULLY LEFT THAT FLOORBOARD OFF LMFAO??? THAT’S HIS SKYLIGHT NOW…

And then. Good god. The arm scene… it’s just. Soooo. 👌👌👌👌 I’m so … 😵‍💫💖❤️‍🔥…

“I’m a wild tiny!” “You’re going to be a dead tiny if that gets infected.” Their dynamic is so fucking funny. AND THE TENDERNESS OF HARRY TOUCHING JOE… Joe being so overwhelmed not exactly with fear but HMMM I WONDER WHAT EMOTION AND WHY HE MIGHT FEEL SO OVERWHELMED HE STILL NEEDS TO CLOSE HIS EYES AND PRETEND HE’S HIDDEN UNDER THE FLOOR AGAIN… 🤔🤔🤔 whyever would the touch of this kind giant make his hair stand on end and make him contemplate the reverence he’s being touched with and leave his cheeks burning… it is a mystery

And then Joe being so afraid the mouse would be hurt because in contrast to the kindness he’s been shown, he still has this long history of awful experiences with giants.. this part in particular made my heart hurt:

“Don’t kill the mouse, Harry, please don’t kill it. It’s just like me. It hasn’t done anything to you.” Joe begged.

Followed by him remembering that this is /Harry, his friend, who he knows/:

“The words hit Joe like the breaking of a spell, and he stood in the kitchen windowsill feeling downright foolish. Of course Harry wouldn’t kill the mouse, Joe realized - of course he wouldn’t do that.”

OUGH. This story is SO delicious I’m beyond obsessed…

The two of them having a much less Charged encounter after Joe has resolved some of his internal conflicts, at least for the moment… chatting away like they’re two normal friends while Harry touches him… 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 I LOVE THESE TWO SO MUCH‼️

Their motorcycle shenanigans… Harry showing Joe his precious Contraption and Joe absolutely hating it omg it was so peak 😭 PLAYING “WHO’S-MORE-BORING CHICKEN”… the way Joe is like “I would rather Die than have to listen to this guy talk about how he’s more exciting than me. Absolutely not.”

I also very much appreciate the foreshadowing of the street car on this re-read…

AND may I say I really love that they went on a little nature trip together!!! I have thought often of the potential of a g/t story set outdoors, where the normal sized person and the tiny are both made small by how all-encompassing the wilderness is. Something to do with camping or backpacking! Maybe something I want to write one day! This gave me a delightful taste of that.

AND ANYWAY THE ACCEPTING OF COMFORT EVEN AS IT FLIES IN THE FACE OF EVERYTHING HE’S BEEN TAUGHT TO ROMANTICIZE AND VALUE… ouuuughhh GET LOVED IDIOT!! GET SEEN AND KNOWN AND TAKEN CARE OF!!!

And then ch12… Harry’s realization that Joe won’t ever bring up anything if it’s just for his own benefit. Which by the way, on a re-read I can appreciate how cleverly you’ve set this up, if I didn’t write that clearly enough before! There’s something cultural there but also, I think, something uniquely Joe that Harry maybe can’t fully see yet. Harry’s watch from his parents breaking down at the same moment he’s trying to change his relationship with Joe, the new most important person in his life (at least I presume! He doesn’t seem to have other close friends/family) … very very good. This sentence is so evocative. Simultaneously funny and sad: “With the way Joe’s eyes shifted from side to side one would think the doctor had suggested they go rob a bank.” It’s very good angst realizing how much Harry is asking of Joe without him even knowing it…

BTW this part is so delightful. They’re so interested in each other!!! “When his footsteps announced his arrival, he could see the tiny’s movements through the missing floorboards as his neighbour crossed the floor and climbed back up to the windowsill above the counter.” <- guy who absolutely has NOT been gotten

“Joe smiling. A rare sight indeed.” JUST…. My heaaaart ‼️‼️

Also hilarious how Joe and now Harry have both had “mmm I do NOT like the way this guy is smiling right now” moments 🤣

GOD tho, Joe’s opening up about getting snatched… much like Harry, it made me feel absolutely beside myself.

^^^ AS YOU CAN SEE. I'VE FULLY FALLEN APART.

[your-local-grinning-cat]

Kibby: saaaay Chenya!~ new conversation for help~

Who shall I bless with the discovery that I can speak?~ -w- Currently tis only you, Trey and Rook who learned of this

I must hurry before master figures I'm trying to spook her lil goofy friends~

Hmm… this depends on who you have interacted with of course. If you and Foxy haven’t interacted with them much, then you talking all of a sudden won’t have such a big impact.

But I would say Ace and Idia might have a funny reaction. They usually react in funny ways and they’re just fun in general. Ortho may also have an interesting reaction.

Lilia, Jamil, and Leona I feel like may also have funny reactions… but they may also just shrug and go with it.

Aaaand I believe you have mentioned that you get along with Jade? Maybe you should gift him with the knowledge of you being able to speak too! I haven’t interacted with him at all, so I can’t say what his reaction would be, but if you get along with him you may find it worth it! 😸

I’m giving a few suggestions here since I don’t know who you have interacted with. *shrugs*

[the-fiction-witch]

Say Dada

Media irl

Character Thomas Brodie Sangster

Couple Thomas X Reader

Rating adorable tiny babies

Concept say dada

I smiled as I sat on the sofa having myself a cup of warm herbal tea a blanket around my legs watching the sweetest sight of all. 

"Can you say dada?" Thomas asked as he held baby Bridget letting her bounce on his thighs a little even if he was holding most of her weight

"Babab" she gurgled not yet forming words 

"No no baby dada" he corrected

"Wababa" she giggled

"No, daddy. Say daddy"

"When are you going to give up Thomas" I laughed as he'd been at this now over an hour 

"When she says it" he says clearly frustrated "say dada. Say it. Saaaay it" he complained

"Bahaha" 

"Why won't you say daddy Bridget? Don't you love daddy?" 

"Because she's not even a year old yet Thomas" 

"Say daddy" he pouts "say it. I am your father"

"No star wars references till she's two you promise Thomas"

"I did not"

"Yes you did"

"That doesn't sound like something I'd do"

"I have it in writing" 

"Why?"

"I didn't trust you."

"I don't recall this"

"I recall this very well. I did it after you started trying to talk like Yoda to my stomach"

"Oh yeah, I remember now" he laughed before "your daddy I am" he told her 

"Thomas!" 

"Sorry darling. I just want her to say it. She's my baby girl I wanna hear her call me daddy"

"That's what he said" I smirked

"Quiet you" he warns "mummy's dirty minded isn't she Bridget" 

"Manah"

"Say dada. Come on say dada. Say it and I'll get you ice cream"

"Abb-ab"

"I'll get you a cookie"

"Babpaba"

"I'll get you… I don't know. What do you want? Toys? Sugar? Milk?"

She she happily giggled

"Milk? You want milk?" He asked and she giggled again "okay, if you say dada I will get you all the milk you can drink. I'm talking unlimited breast access day or night"

"That's not your to give away Thomas" I complained 

"How so?"

"My breasts you don't get to give people access to them. You only get partial access on account of marriage and because it shuts you up sometimes"

"But how can you say no to that face" he Cooes showing me Bridget's little face "how can you say no to me mummy? Am I not cute enough for you?" 

"Your adorable Bridget but daddy is just trying to manipulate you."

"Huuu! I would never" he complained "mummies mean to us isn't she Bridget"

"Don't use the baby to your own ends Thomas" I complained getting up and taking Bridget from him so give her a cuddle myself "he uses you Bridget."

"She likes helping daddy"

"Ummm. Bridget. Say mama"

"Maba"

"Mama"

"Mama!"

"Screw both of you" he complained just as a little cry erupted from the little Moses basket we had set up in our living room "awww perfect. I'll play with my little boy instead the one who actually loves me not just fains love for milk and cookies" he Cooes going and picking up little Simon in his arms who immediately apon seeing his father threw up a bunch of that horrible baby pile of milk, baby food and god knows what else all over Thomas' chest and shirt and began crying and squirming to get away "why do my children hate me?" Thomas complained

[yourlocaltrashpandaxoxo]

Apple of His Eye

The front door opened and slammed shut. 

“I’m hoooome!” called a cheery Jacob as he flung his bag aside and hung his hat up. 

“Howdy there, honey bunny!” Ruby called from the living room, a wide smile on her face. Jacob entered and lazily glomped on-top of her. 

“How’s me precious gem doin’ then, eh?” he asked.

“Very well now that my sugarpie is home” Ruby smiled, giving him a kiss on the cheek. There was a scuttling noise as the two ferrets scrambled in and began crawling all over their owner. 

“’Ey lads, that’s enough! I know, I know... Can’t go three minutes without me love” Jacob chuckled, allowing Chips to perch on his shoulder as Bolt curled up on his lap. 

“Reminds me of someone else I know~” he added, tickling Ruby under the chin. 

“Hahahah! Hey!” Ruby squealed, wriggling around in her seat like a fish out of water. Jacob grinned and pecked her on the forehead. He looked up at the ceiling and sighed.

“Somethin’ on yer mind, Jacob?” Ruby asked. 

“Ahh, nothin’ much Ruby-Roo,” Jacob replied. He heard his phone buzz and took it out to check what it was. He couldn’t help but grin when he read the message. 

“What is it? Who are you talkin’ to?” Ruby peered over his shoulder to have a peek. 

“Oi, this is private stuff missy!” Jacob cackled, lightly flicking her nose. Ruby couldn’t hide a slightly petty frown. Jacob tutted. 

“Now what’s wiv that face, hm? It’s just me sister,” Jacob explained. He looked back at his phone intently.

“Saaaay... What’s your favourite gemstone, sweet pea?” he asked. 

“Well, what’s my name~?” Ruby giggled.

“Ahhh, I gotcha" Jacob smiled. He turned his attention back to his phone. He couldn't help but smile at the stream of messages being sent over.

"C'mooooon sugarpie, lemme see!" Ruby begged, trying to peek over his shoulder. Jacob sighed and nudged her away.

"I'm sorry, Roo, but this is private. It's nothing bad, don't worry, it's just a surprise" he explained. He gave her a peck on the cheek.

"Aw man, alright..." Ruby pouted, crossing her arms and feigning irritation. Jacob giggled.

*BRRRRRRRNG*

Jacob grabbed his phone and answered the call.

"'Ello?" he said. He got up from his seat and walked off, chattering excitedly to the whoever was on the other side. Ruby laid back on the sofa and sighed blissfully. Chips and Bolt began scrambling about, treading on her hair and clothes.

"Hahaha, hey! Leave off ya little rascals!" she giggled, playfully tickling the cheeky ferrets.

"Alrighty then, see you in a sec! And, thanks Cas. For real. Byeeee!" Jacob beamed, hanging up the phone and entering the living room again. He smirked at the sight of Ruby having a fight with the two fur snakes.

"Alright then lads, off ya get" he cackled, picking them off of his girlfriend.

"Who was that on the phone?" Ruby asked, getting up from the sofa. Jacob laughed and tapped her on the nose.

"Nosey nosey!" he tutted "It was just me sister, she's popping 'round later to gimme summink."

"Ah, okay!" Ruby smiled.

"So, whatcha wanna do gem?" Jacob asked.

"Hmm... Wanna bake some cookies?" Ruby suggested "As long as ya don't get flour everywhere again!" the pair couldn't help but chuckle at the memory.

"It ain't my fault, gem! That bloomin' flour swung first!" he joked as they headed for the kitchen.

"Sure it did, honey bun" Ruby tittered. They rummaged around in the cupboard, setting down ingredients and equipment on the kitchen counter.

"Alrighty, Jacob, think you can open this WITHOUT getting it everywhere?" Ruby chuckled, nudging a new bag of flour towards her boyfriend.

"I'll try me best, gemstone" Jacob seized the bag and...

*POOF!*

"Aargh! Not agaaaain!" he cried, his face stained with a decent handful of white flour. Ruby took one look at him and cracked up laughing.

"Pahahaha! It's meant to go in the BOWL, Jacob! Not you!" she cackled gleefully.

"Ya don't say" Jacob replied, sarcastically rolling his eyes. He ambled over to the sink to wash off the flour's attack on him.

*DING DONG*

"That'll be Cass, " Jacob grinned "Be back in a sec, luv!" he charged out of the kitchen like a bullet. Ruby watched him run out with a smirk before turning her attention to the bowl of cookie dough in front of her.

Jacob came back in, hiding something behind his back. Ruby's eyes immediately went wide with excitement.

"Oooh! Whatcha got there, hun?" she asked, rushing over and trying to get a peek.

"Ah ah! No peeking you monkey!" Jacob replied, gently pushing her away.

"Awww, no fair!" Ruby sulked "Just a little peek?" Jacob sighed and shook his head.

"Sorry luv, this is a really special surprise" he insisted "I'll show you some other day" Ruby nodded and went back to her baking. With her focus taken off of him. Jacob scrambled to the garage.

He couldn't hide his huge smile as he looked down at the precious little red box.

"Trust me, gem, it'll be worth the wait"

(Ruby belongs to @sukipershipper)

[dayasusays]

HII MY SWEETIES i hope your day is good <3 if no i’m really sorry and hope you’ll feel better !!

i’m here to saaaay i have one more request SO IF YOU WANT ME TO WRITE SMTH JUST SEND ME A REQUEST :333 also i don’t bite so you can comment my writing you know…. maybe you can dm me and say what you think abt my writing 🤭

don’t forget abt masterlist, i added what i’ll write and what i won’t

anyway i’ll write this one request soon sooo anon don’t worry !! and i’m waiting for new ones（╹◡╹）

LOVEEEE YOU AALLLL <3

[escapehatchcomic]

======>

-- garrulousAeration [GA] began memo "Getting to the boooottom of this mess" --

-garrulousAeration [GA] added addictiveCatharsis [AC] -garrulousAeration [GA] added catatonicGourmand [CG] -garrulousAeration [GA] added tremulousCardiology [TC] -garrulousAeration [GA] added chainedThespian [CT] -garrulousAeration [GA] added tangentialAmbivalence [TA] -garrulousAeration [GA] added consensualArrest [CA] -garrulousAeration [GA] added attentiveAstronomer [AA] -garrulousAeration [GA] added animousTension [AT] -garrulousAeration [GA] added graduateTheological [GT] -garrulousAeration [GA] added glazedContrarian [GC] -garrulousAeration [GA] added cravenCastaway [CC]

GA: Look at thaaaat, it's in such pretty candy rainbow colors...! \:O GA: Didn't exactly meeeean to do that... But when I asked for a liiiist of all the trolls staying here, that's the order they gave me, so... CC: Of course it is. CC: Also that's incredibly rude, going around getting people's personal information like that. GA: Ooooh... Soooorry... I really didn't mean to cause offeeeense... TC: it's kind of late for that you know? and now your tone? it sucks. GA: Aaaah shoot... I swear that's not sarcaaaastic, it's just how I type... TC: i see. my bad. GA: Aaaanyway, to get back to the topic at hand, I found a disc on the floor and if I'm not mistaken, I think it belongs to someone here... GA: Did aaaany of you drop it by any chance...? GC: Inquiry: What kind of disc? GA: Well, I'm noooot exactly sure... There's some Alternian on the front but I can't read it so I have no ideeeea... GC: Inquiry: Has there been an attempt to read the disc in an optical drive? CT: | It Could Verrry Well Be a Trrrap | AC: OR PORN!!!! TC: or porn. GT: OR IN AlterniaN. AC: HEYYY JINX!!!! GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE!!!! CG: I'm sorry. Who are you? AC: JUST A WILD ASS DRIFTER LOOKING FOR THE NEXT THRILL!!!! NICE TO MEET YOU!!!! TC: dj by name of hertz attack. it's nice to meet you here. CG: I meant GA. Apologies. GA: Ooooh shoot, you're right, I'm sorry... I'm Xephyr, the baaaartender down at the Protostar Lounge... GT: YoU ArE A TrolL YourselF, ArE YoU NoT? GA: Yeaaaah, I am... GT: A TrolL ThaT CannoT ReaD IS JusT BegginG FoR DeatH. GA: Oh noooo, I can read, just not Alternian... But yeah, like I was saaaaying, I was surprised to see so many of you all... That's neeeever happened before... CA: xX oh yeah. there were a lot of trolls down there today. werent there. Xx GA: Exaaaactly... So I'm preeeetty sure one of you likely dropped this disc... I juuuust wanna know who... TA: *...well shouldn't you find out what's on it?...* GA: Maaaaybe... But soooomehow, that almost feels like it wouldn't be right... CA: xX you. Xx TA: *...?...* AC: HEY YOU NEED A DANGEROUS DEED DONE IM YOUR GUY!!!! GA: I'll consider the ooooffer... But for now, I'll hold onto it for safe keeeeeeeeping...

 > Xephyr: Contact AC

[huggybug]

okay last part. sorry, i know it’s bad 🥲

he brought his lips down and placed a kiss on your clit, then another one. he gave it a long, wet lick before going back up to your neck. you whined. ”shhh,” he said into the crook of your neck. he put his hand into his boxers and palmed his dick. he let out a moan. you reached down and pulled on the waistband. ”uh-uh,” he scolded, ”what did i saaaay,” he teased.he continued with his motions. his moans were getting louder. here you were, your bf pleasuring himself above you while you got to watch and do nothing and feel nothing. it wasn’t fair. you grew frustrated and reached down in between your legs to help your situation on your own. luke stopped his motions and grabbed your hand, throwing it above your head. he shook his head at you. “not a good choice there, missy. i said you were to not touch me, what makes you think you could touch yourself?” ”you never said i couldn’t,” you teased back, ”you said to keep my hands to myself. that’s what i’m doing.” he sighed, ”wellp, if that’s how you feel.” he got off you and started dressing himself. ”w-wait,” you stuttered,”what are you doing?” ”going to get something to eat,” he shrugged. ”what?!” ”i told you to stop, you didn’t listen,” he shrugged again, ”hope you learned your lesson. you hungry? thirsty?” he smiled at you before opening the door and walking out, leaving you on his bed soaked, throbbing. “luke. LUKE!” wow, he really did have you screaming his name louder than brendan’s. after that night, you really did learn your lesson.

he’s such an asshole lmaoo

LUKE. COME ON.

[linksthoughtbrambles]

[Close encounters of the imaginary-bunny and incorporeal-pig kind.]

Part 51 of Link's Thought Brambles

“…There.  We oughtn’t disturb him out here.”

“I’m amazed he can sleep with that thing in his gut.”

“It’s a blessing, Purah.  I’d thought the various sensations and dread would keep him awake and exhaust him.  I’m pleased to be proven wrong.  The second dose of pain-relieving elixir seems to have done this.”

“Is he still hydrated?”

“He… is certainly losing fluid at a greater rate than he has taken it in, but frequent small sips of salt water are staying down.  I fear- I fear it each time, and most of all with the elixir.  Should his stomach react violently…”

“The arrow, yeah.  Not good.  The sword have any suggestions?”

“I can show you… just scrolling… there.”

“It saaaays…. We lack the manufacturing ability to produce the indicated medical implements.  Real useful, sword.  Any chance you could tell us what those are?”

.

“Why doesn’t it answer?”

“I… am unsure.  Perhaps it cannot hear us here, just as Link cannot.”

“We could go in.”

“I am loathe to wake Link.”

“Just crack the door and whisper?”

“…Quietly, Purah.”

“…Hey, sword!  …Are you listening?  What can’t we make that would help Linky?”

“It doesn’t appear to hear-”

I hear you.  Please do not speak loudly.  My master’s heart and respiratory rates are significantly elevated even in sleep.

“You couldn’t hear us with the door closed, huh?”

Not distinctly, Miss Purah.

“You know who I am?!”

I have been in close proximity to you a number of times.

“…When he’s better, you’re coming to my lab for a full work-up.”

…

“So… what do you think we can’t manufacture that would help him?”

A thin, hollow metallic cylinder which could be inserted directly into one of his veins.  This ideally would be attached to a tube through which a sterile saline solution would be allowed to drip, keeping his fluid level manageable without risking oral intake.

“That would have to be extremely narrow.”

Precisely, Your Grace.  You lack the manufacturing capability.

“Sword… there is no need to refer to me with such an exalted title.  You may, in fact, call me Zelda.”

I am incapable of that, Your Grace.  If you prefer, I may refer to you as Spirit Maiden or Princess.

“Princess is the preferable option.”

As you wish, Princess.  It’s also unlikely you would be able to achieve lasting sterility.  Suffice to say, my master must take fluids and electrolytes orally in extremely small amounts.

“…It’s 7:32 am.  Is Robbie still belowground?”

“Yeah, Princess.  Ripping apart guardian innards.  Telling himself it’s useful, probably.”

“Truly?”

“Welllll, I tell myself that’s what he tells himself.  For all I know, he just doesn’t care what’s going on up here.  I had to at least check.”

If your associate is excavating the area beneath the castle, he is in the wrong location to discover medical technology of note.

“Oh?  Where should he look?!”

The area you have designated the Great Plateau.

“We’ve had a team digging around there for almost a year.”

I am uncertain precisely how the geography has changed.  I can, however, divulge that upon my last deactivation, there were plans to embed an emergency resuscitation and regeneration facility within a suitable, expandable cavern in that area.  Whether they proceeded with this plan, I do not know.

“You could’ve mentioned this earlier!”

Inconsequential.  My master would not survive the journey.  The arrowhead would shred him.

_____

“…10:51 am.  Hphhh.

“I ought to tell you, Link.

“I truly ought to.

“Part of me hopes you can hear me as you sleep, and yet I fear it.  I know I shouldn’t upset you in your current state.  But if you don’t make it… I would regret my cowardice eternally.  I should have told you of my transgression with the slate before this.

“I recognize there has been little time in which to confess, but to say I’d no opportunity would be untrue.  I… so desperately wanted your continued affection, and I still do, and so I have repeatedly failed to show you the respect you are due.  I would not wish you to waste your love on a lie.  Should you continue to love me, it should be as I am—not as you wish me to be.  You must see all of me.  I, quite unfairly, have seen much more of you.

He will love you no matter what, Princess.

“…So certain.”

He is bound to you.

“Hph… that is NOT reassuring.  Bonds are anything but love.”

There are no physical bonds.

“Then your vocabulary was incorrect.”

…To my understanding, a promise is binding, yet freely given.

“That may be if the promise is sincere.  Yet we have made each other no lasting promises.”

…Wedding vows are meant to last.

“Sword… we have made no such vows.”

…

“…10:54 am.”

_____

Cold.  Birds.

What…

Ow.  What is that, what is that what is thatwhatisthatwhat- “Mmmmm-gg-“

“Link, don’t move!”

“Hh.  Hh.  H-hurts-“

“Shh, don’t speak... there’s been enough time.  You may take another dose of elixir-“

Elixir not recommended unless water tolerated.

“Yes, which would have been the next words to issue from my mouth had you allowed.”

Apologies, Princess.

Zelda.  Zelda, it hurts.  It hurts everywhere-

“Brahm!”

“Yes, Princess?”

“Please fetch the doctor.  Link is awake.”

“Yes, Princess.  What about Wran?”

“Let him rest for the moment.  He was up all night.”

Zelda.  Please.  It hurts.

“I’m sorry, Link—here.”

Can’t- can’t lift- oh, her hand, I love her hand please more hand so soft, why can’t it be on my chest?  Supporting my head-?  Spoon.

Spoonfuls.  Roomfuls of spoonfuls. No no no no I don’t want a whole room in there.  Stop it. Stop-

“Ah- Link!  Please, don’t fight me!  Don’t move!”

Not fighting you, just don’t want the room.  Aren’t I full?

“Wh-what?  Link, what do you mean?”

Master, you are confused.  Please remain still.  The Princess is attempting to give you a sip of water.

“Wahhter-“

Do not speak, master.  Think—we will hear you.

No, you can’t hear thinking thoughts who are you OH! OH!  I have to be quiet!!!!!!!!

Yes, master—quiet and calm.

Calm?

No.  No no no no no no no.  No, no more of that.  No remaining still remaining calm so pushy like you don’t even care if they don’t make it to the egg toss?

“Link… please take some water.  It- perhaps it may help.  Please trust me.  Here’s the spoon.”

No.  NO!  Why are you giving me all these things I don’t want?  There’s too many THINGS!

“AH!  Link!”

Sorry sorry sorry I didn’t mean to ruin the lake I’m thirsty can I have some water?

“Oh…. Link.  Ah… …here.”

Oh no.  No, not that again.  I’m already full, don’t you see?  I can’t fit any more roomfuls in here.  All my rooms are all full.

“…It’s the spoon, isn’t it?  Let’s…”

My master is repeatedly expressing fullness.  It’s likely he is experiencing the sensation of generalized edema and fluid buildup in his chest cavity.

“He needs water regardless.”

Yes.

“Link, open your mouth, please.”

Are we playing fish?

“Yes, Link.  Fish in the water.  I’ll drip some in your mouth from this cloth.  Alright?”

I’m thirsty.

“Excellent.  This should be a good game.”

Ahhhhhhhhh.

“Heh.  Thank you, Link.  Here.”

First fish water swim ow ow ow OW OW OW- “mmmmMMMMmm-“

“Shhh, Link- please don’t make any sound.”

But it hurts so much, it hurts- “h- h- h- h-“

“Are you alright in there, Princess?”

-it hurts, it hurts, it hurts-

“Yes, thank you Margil!"

-can I go back to sleep now?

“…I’d imagine sleep without further hydration would be unwise.”

Unfortunately, yes.

Unwise, that’s me.  Zelda, I’m thirsty, can I have some water please?  It hurts.

“Y- y-“

Wait.  Give him time to absorb each sip.

“I’m aware.”

Who is that?  Is she criticizing you?  She can stuff it!

“Oh- oh hehehe, Link, it’s the voice within your sword.”

Doesn’t mean she gets to boss you around!

“Link… she knows more than I do about treating the wounded.”

No one knows more than you do.

“She does.”

Nope!

“Link, you know this yourself.”

No I don’t!

“Eh.”

Hehe, I win!

“No, you don’t.”

Why not?

“Because- you cannot win until you have another sip of water.”

Oh.  Oh, I see.  Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

“You must wait a moment.”

Why?

“Because… I shan’t let you win yet.”

Ohh OHH the royal eyebrow it’s my favorite eyebrow, did you know that?

“I suppose I did.”

Aw, really?  No surprise?  I want to fill you with surprises!!!

“PFF- kmph- Link… by the Goddess… haha!”

Huh?  What?  Surprises are nice.

“Indeed they are.  Well.  I’m sure you have surprises for me other than your opinion of my eyebrows.”

Oh DO I!

.

“…Such as?”

If I tell you, it’s not a surprise, is it?

“Ah.  No.  Well then, open wide.”

Okay!

“Uch-gg-“ no no no no it hurts more it’s not supposed to do that, there are all these octo balloons and they put them all inside and they blew them up and I’m going to float away, it’s not fair at all, can you get them out?

“…I…”

Oh no!  You figured it out, didn’t you?

“Figured what out, Link?”

What I was going to do with the balloons outside your study.  The surprise is ruined.

“O- oh, no, Link.  It’s not ruined.”

It’s not?

“Of course, not.  Just because I know about- about the balloons, doesn’t mean I know what you were going to do with them.”

I can’t do it anymore.  The balloons are all stuck inside.  Help me get them out?

“I’m afraid I can’t do that, Link.  Not without harming you.”

It’s okay, I heal fast.

Why do I hurt so much?

“I… would appreciate suggestions.”

He is delirious, Princess.

Who is?

There appear to be multiple factors contributing to his condition.

I can’t let some delirious person threaten the Princess.

Essentially, the third part of the triad—acidosis—continues to worsen.

I don’t see anybody else.

Lactic acid and carbon dioxide levels increasing.

…They’re INVISIBLE!

Tissue hypoxia unresolved.  Oxygen levels are suboptimal.

Look REAL HARD, Link!

Irreversible tissue damage has already occurred—that is, irreversible by non-magical means.

They’re being soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo snEAKy.

There is no means of directly relieving this state.

You know who it is, don’t you?

Keep him calm and as comfortable as possible and continue to offer water.

It’s that damn rabbit.

It’s possible this state is transitory and partially related to hypnagogia.

“I am unfamillar with that term.”

Look for his stupid, floppy pink ears.

Hypnagogia is a transitional state between sleep and wakefulness.

Hard to hide things when they’re that fuzzy.

It is possible for various medical conditions to delay the onset of the fully wakened state.

“So you believe this shall pass?”

No, I don’t think this’ll pass, Princess.

It is possible.  It is also possible he will remain this way or worsen if the condition is unaffected by his sleep-wake state.

It’s a fail for sure.  I’ll spot those ears somewhere.  He’s so slow, he can’t even hop, he’s a terrible rabbit, really, he won’t get away wait waitwaitwaitWAIT “WHAT TIME IS IHH-hht?”

“Link!”

You must not speak aloud, master!

“Princess-?!”

YOU can talk!

“He’s just confused, Margil.”

Listen to you!  Taking up the whole time with your loud noises!

“Princess… he is extremely strong.  What if he hurts you?”

I can be louder, thank you very much!  “I hahhhve to bhe-“

“Link, please, don’t speak!”

“-louuhder now, sorry Zhhelda. Shh.”

“…Hylia preserve us.  Link, please take another sip of water.”

Anything for you, my Zelda my love the most beautiful woman ever to walk the green fields beneath the sky.

“… Here, Link… my extraordinary knight.”

Glow glow glow glow glow GLOW glow can she see me glowing? Oh, water.

“…I think I should stay in here, Princess.”

NooOOOoooooo oh oh oh oh, why does it hurt this time?

“Very well, Margil.”

I thought you got the balloons out.  OH!  Did you put them on my belts and baldric?  We can use them later.

“Y-… hhh… no, Link.  I’m sorry.  We- can do that together later if you wish.”

Oh, great.  Yeah, let’s do that.  I think I might have to get more of them.  There are lots of them near the bridges over the Hylia river.  Stinkers like to pester people crossing if they can get away with it.

“That seemed slightly more lucid.”

Loose id.  What’s an id? 

“Hmmm.  I’m not sure.  What about lid?”

Oh!  Good one!  Skid.

“Heh.  Bid.”

Rid!

“Pallid.”

Oh, wait, loose id.  Loose lid.  You got it right away.

“Did I?”

If you’re not lucid you’re a loose lid.

“Hmm.  Hm hm.  Even in this state you’ve a propensity for word play, I see.  I take it the joke is-”

Woah woahwoahwoahwoah WOAH!  It’s NOT cool to explain a joke, Princess.  If people don’t get it, it’s a bad joke.

“Heheh.”

 I love your laugh.

“Do you wish me to laugh more?”

You have to make up for all those times you were so sad.

“I see.  Would you like to know something that would make me laugh?”

YesOHGW-oo… stomach…

“I’d like to see you take another sip of water.”

That���s funny?

“Perhaps it is if you make an amusing face while you do so.”

You got it, Princess.  I am ALL OVER that.  My stomach is gonna shut up now.  Quit talking ouch languages, it’s my turn.

Uh.  What face should I make?  OOOOOOoooh, I know!

“Hmm.  You look less silly and more as though you detected a foul odor.”

Guess who it is, guess guess guess!

“Oh, I see. Ah.  Hm.”

Come on, you definitely know this.

“Ohf- give me a moment!”

It is SOo obvious!

“Hmmmmmm. You seem slightly pleased by the foul odor.”

OH YES-“hh!”  Getting closer.  Zelda zeroing in on the stench-loving-nose-looker-downer.

“Hehehe, what?!  You- ah.  I believe I see—someone who looks down their noses at people as though they’re refuse and enjoys it.  Am I correct?”

About what?

“…Heh.  About the face you were making, Link.”

Oh.  Sorry, I think I zoned out again.  Were we playing a game?

“…Yes, Link.  You were trying to make me laugh.  You made an amusing face that mimicked someone and asked me to guess who.  Once I do, I’m to drip some water in your mouth.”

Really?!  Okay.  Ohhhh I’ve got one.

“Indeed.  That… is the face.  Is it Priestess Merisse?”

Glower-priestess!  You got it!  How’d you do that so fast?

Link, listen to yourself.  How’d she do that so fast?  By being wacka-damn-doodle-smart, that’s how!  I have to up my game.

“Water, Link.”

Oh, right.  Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhowwwwwnonononosqueeeeeezedoesn’twanttoletupohGoddessstophurtingstoppleaseplease? Ohhh…. There….

“I... I’m sorry, Link.  You truly need both the water and salt.”

I know.  You have to do what’s best, even if it kills us.

“L-Link.  You need water.”

Oh, okay!

“I- I didn’t mean right this moment.  Sorry about that.”

Oh.

It’s okay, you know.

“What is?”

If I die.

“…No it’s not, Link.”

No, it totally is.  You were right, we couldn’t just stop in the middle.  The whole point was for everyone to see your magic was real.  And let’s face it, I make a pretty crappy hero.  I got downed my first real fight with people.  It only took one archer.  You’re better off if the sword picks someone else.

I am not capable of choosing anyone else, master.

Hey, you’re sad.  Don’t be sad.

“I don’t mean to be.”

Usually no one means to be.  What’s wrong?

“I am worried about you.”

Eh, I’ll be fine.  I just have to wait until dad leaves.  Then I can play again.

“Oh.  Is he here?”

I guess so.  But he never stays that long.

“What shall we play when he goes?”

Heheheheheeeee duck-duck-goose- OWOWOW- guess I shouldn’t pull too much.

“Indeed not.  Please rest yourself.  Link, be aware of your hands.  The arrow inside you is just here.  Do you feel it?”

Right, that’s right, that’s why it hurts so bad.  I keep forgetting. 

Oh.  Oh, all the blood.  Why is it so wet?

“The doctor shall change your bandages as gently as possible.  Then you’ll be less wet.”

Good, will that make it hurt less?  It hurts a lot.

“No, Link.  Once you’ve taken some more water, you can have an elixir for the pain.”

Please, Zelda.  Can I have some now?

“Not yet, Link.”

Please?

“I’m sorry, no.”

“Phhplease-“

“Link, there’s no need to speak.  The slate, remember?  I can see your thoughts on the screen.”

That’s right.  That’s right, I remember now.  You were mean to me.

“…May I apologize?”

Really?  I thought you hated me.

“…What?”

Once you see what I think about you’ll send me away, won’t you?  You’ll show the king.  I’ll be banished.

“Link, please try to return to the present.  I love you.  We- do you… do you remember us dancing?”

Dancing?

.

Spinning.

“Yes, that’s right.  I hope you had as much fun as I did.”

That was real?

“Yes, Link.”

Wow.  I’m so lucky!

“…Water, Link?”

Oh yes please, I’m so thirsty.

“I know.  Here.”

”Hh!” It’squeezingsqueezingwhyisitsqueezingsohardcan’tletgocan’tcan’tcan’toh.  Oh.

“I’m so sorry it hurts.”

It’s okay.  It’s not your fault.

“Yes it is.”

What?  Why would you say that?

“Princess- Sir Link.”

“A-ah.  Dr. Plywinn.  Link, the doctor will see to your bandages and inspect the wound.”

That’s good. It hurts a lot.

_____

No.

No.

No, it has me.

Sounds in the darkness.

Hot breath on my neck.

Everywhere.  All around me.

It knew where I was, didn’t it?  It was just playing with me.  It liked seeing me scared.  Didn’t want to kill me right away.  It hates me so much it wants to make sure I suffer as much as possible.

It’s watching.  Watching me right now.

Stabbing me in the same spot over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and

“Oh Goddess…”

over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and

“Mom?  What is it?”

over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over

“I think your brother’s dreaming.”

and over and OVER and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over

“Oh no- do we wake him up?”

and OVER and over

I recommend allowing sleep if possible.

and over and over and OVER and over and over and OVER and OVER

He is more likely to awaken lucid at the natural end of the sleep cycle.

and OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER

If he becomes too agitated, awakening him prematurely may be preferable.

No you don’t.  You won’t get that out of me.

I won’t beg.

I won’t.

No matter how much it hurts.

Even though it’s getting very hard to breathe.

There’s a rock in my chest, isn’t there?

How did that get there?

It’s sitting right behind my breastbone.

It’s making everything difficult.

I can feel it smiling at me.

THERE’s its breath its breath on my neck it’s smiling-

‘Link.’

‘Hh!’

‘If only I’d known it was this easy.’

?????

‘The way to defeat you…’

Hot- hot- breath- stabbing-

TWISTING-

‘…was never to face you at all.’

“… Woah. Is this… Princess?”

AH!  Ah…no… WON’T beg.  Not you.

‘Hahahahahaaa… you might not beg me, but I know you’re willing to beg your pretty little princess.’

“…Chee, did this just begin?”

‘I’ve heard you, boy.’

“Yeah!”

‘”Please, Zelda.  Please, it hurts.  Can I have water?”  You’re a mewling, pathetic excuse for a man.  SUCH weakness.  Such audacity!  You think you can protect her?  You’ve fought two TRUE battles on this island and lost both.’

Lost neither-

‘Oh?  Let’s examine that.  At your melee… you prevailed only at the mercy of the royal guard captain.  There is no possible scenario in which you could have defeated him at that stage.  And yesterday… hahahaha… yesterday, you didn’t last a single second, struck down by your own foolish desire to protect the others… TWICE!  TWICE a fool!  Once for an inconsequential child, and once for another inconsequential child’s mother.  YOUR life is the one that mattered.  Bad tactics.  Inane thinking.  The only right move you made was to kick your girlfriend.’

You have no idea what’s right.

‘I have a better idea than you do—one of several reasons why I’ll win this time.  Another, of course, is your impending death.’

I won’t die.  I’ll fight.

‘It won’t matter.  That naturally brings me to my purpose here, which is to make the absolute most of the little time you have left.’

This… isn’t real.

‘Oh, it is—and I intend to enjoy it.’

GGGH!

‘You feel that, don’t you?  I can make you hurt more.’

MMMP!

“Chee, don’t look.”

‘Yes.  I like that.’

“MOM-“

MPHHH!

“Don’t.”

‘Part of me wishes for corporeality-‘

“Mom, I think it’s real.”

‘-the capability to fully savor this moment.’

“Your brother is hurt and frightened.  He-“

The child may be correct.

AH!

This area is permeated with a diffuse field-

‘Would that I could twist the arrow itself.’

-significantly above background level, though subtle.

“What?!”

HPH!  PHH!

I must reconsider my initial analysis and instead recommend awakening my master.

‘Settling for this psychic amplification… it’s…’

MmMM!

“Link!  LINK!”

‘…paltry… compared to the suffering I’d like to inflict.’

“Wake up!”

HHGHH!

“Link, Link, please!”

‘To see you bound… helpless…’

“Why won’t he wake up?!”

AAAH- HHH!

Master.  MASTER!

‘…while I trace you with my blade… like a lover’s caress…

AWAKEN, MASTER!

‘…opening you from neck to groin-‘

“Oh, my GODDESS!”

‘-and remove your organs one at a time.’

“LINK, my boy, wake up!”

NNN-GGHHGHHTTNGG-!

“Sword, please, do something!”

‘I long to see the horror in your eyes…’

I have insufficient energy.  He MUST awaken!

‘I’d start with your intestines, I think.’

AWAKEN!

“WAKE UP!! WAKE UP, LINK!! IT'S CHEE!!”

“H-he’s straining-“

AWAKEN!

HKKTT- KKTT-

“No, love, you’ll hurt yourself!”

AWAKEN!

‘Just slice them free at the bottom-

AWAKEN!

“YOUR HEAD’S USUALLY DENSE-“

AWAKEN!

‘-and pull them out an inch at a time.’

HHHHGG! HH!  HH!

AWAKEN!

“-JUST DON’T LET THIS ASSHOLE IN!!!”

‘…It’s my one regret.’

M-AAAH!

AWAKEN!

“GET OUT!”

‘You’ll be dead before I emerge.’

PHH- PHHH-

AWAKEN!

“GET OUT OF HIM!”

‘I’ll never see your face contort-

AWAKEN!

“GET OUUUUT!”

‘-as I rearrange your innards.’

KMPH-

INEFFECTIVE!

‘I’ll just have to rearrange hers instead.’

MmnNNNNN-! DEAD, YOU’RE DEAD, ASSHOLE!  I DON’T CARE WHO YOU ARE YOU JUST F@#$ED YOURSELF HARD YOU THINK I’LL LET YOU TOUCH HER?!?  IF I DIE TODAY I’LL F@$&ING HAUNT YOU AND YOU’LL STILL LOSE!!!

“H-holy crap, Link…”

‘Ah hahahaha.  There it is.  So predictable.’

Princess!

BW- AH!

“Y-yes?”

‘I threaten one hair on her golden head and you turn into a rageful little brat.’

I require your assistance.  Draw me!

‘A tiny knat struggling in a spider’s web, entirely unaware of the spider’s identity.’

“Draw?  A- as you say-“

‘No matter.  Your words are empty.  When you die, you die.’

I- HRRR! Won’t die!

“AH!  Now what?!”

‘You’re dying as we speak.’

Hold me and think of my master.

Not gonna happenNNNNN-!

Think of your desire to save him-

‘Hahaha, you will.  Soon. I wish I could see the look on your princess’ face when the last breath leaves your body.’

-of your feelings for him.

You seem to enjoy- HHH!- others’ pain.

FEEL those things tangibly-

‘Particularly hers, yes.’

-and put them into me.

Hers?  Not mine?

‘Yours is a windfall compared to hers… but I’ll gladly relish it.’

“How?!”

Feel it, and it will be.

I won’t let you hurt her.

‘Yes, yes, undying love, etcetera, it becomes so tiresome so quickly.  You’re a pawn, boy.  Nothing more.  Hahaha, a delusional pawn who believes he matters to his goddess.’

“Hhh… hhhh…”

I don’t care much whether I matter to the Goddess or not.

‘Ha… hahaha… hahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  More FOOL words could not possibly be spoken.  Perhaps death is a mercy for you.  You’ll never know.’

Concentrate, Princess.  I cannot take it from you.  I could damage you if I do in your current state.

…I’m not listening to you.

‘Oh?  I find that difficult to believe.  I’m speaking directly to your mind… you’re responding to me… I can even-‘

AAAAAAH!

‘-play you like a psychic instrument in this state.  You’re so weak. …You’ll never know what the goddess has done to you.  Forced you into.’

“Princess?”

You talk like you think you’re better.

‘Oh, I AM better.  I don’t bother to pretend I’m good.  When I manipulate people, they’re the idiots for going along with it.’

YES!

“Light!”

‘When SHE does it… rrrrrrrrr…’

??????

‘rrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!’

And you called ME rageful.

‘YOU ARE!’

Suddenly, you seem a lot less scary and waaaaay less like you’re surrounding me and you know what?  F@#$ you.  This is a F@#$ing dream, isn’t it?  Just a dream… you’ve been in my dreams before.  Breathing down my neck like some kind of hungry animal, too cowardly or too weak to actually strike.  You weren’t just toying with me.  You didn’t hurt me because you couldn’t.  And you can’t.  The only reason you could make me hurt was that I’m already hurting and already weak.

‘WEAK and you will DIE!’

Yeaaaaaaaah, so you keep saying that.  But I think you’re in here to make me freak out so I tense up and make myself bleed more and need more air… because you’re worried.  You think I can make it.  You’re afraid I WILL make it.

You’re afraid of me.

…You’re the Calamity.

‘You don’t know my name.’

And you’re afraid of me.

‘I fear no boy who whimpers at the feet of the goddess.’

You’re afraid of me trusting the Goddess.

‘It’s your mistake if you do.’

And you’re afraid of the Princess.

‘That f#$%ing b@#$% can suck my-‘

DON’T YOU DARE-

‘AAH!’

…Oh?

Now, what was that for?

Did I… hurt you?

.

…Does it work both ways?

You hurt me, I hurt you?

Get out.

GET OUT!

‘rrrrrrRRRRR!’

GET OUT OF MY DREAMS!

‘RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGH!’

GET OUT OF MY MIND!

‘RRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHGGHT!!!!’

AND STAY OUT!  STAY THE F@#$ OUT!

“hhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

“LINK!”  “OH!”  “YES!!”

“Wh-wh-“

“Oh, no sh sh, remember, don’t talk out loud!”

Oh!  Right, right… Chee?

“Hi.”

You’re here.  Mom!

“Hello, sweetheart.”

…Zelda.

Oh, I get a kiss.  Still a forehead kiss, but I’ll take it.

The… sword?

“Yes.  I.  Ah.  Appear to have used it, after a fashion.”

REALLY?!

“Heh.  Yes.”

…Wait, you’re shaking.  Badly.

“Yes… it… required energy, I suppose.  One- one moment.”

Please, please sit, don’t worry about me-

“I’ll make it the extra few feet to avoid jostling your arrow, Link.  Please have no fear… oh…”

Hehehe.  ‘My’ arrow.  Like it’s part of me.

“Princess?  Do you need some water or anything?”

So clearly when this is over, I have to save this thing and mount it on the wall.

“I’ll be fine, Chee.  I think… oddly, I think I shall need to eat soon, but it’s of little consequence comparatively speaking.”

…And noooo one’s responding because no one’s looking at the slate.

“Link—I’m going to fold this down—let’s see…”

Hey.  HEY!  You all are stinky stink faces.  Stink stink.  Stank.  Stunk.

“You did tense a lot, love.”

Yeah… I think that’s what it was going for- OH!  You saw it?  You saw it on the slate?

“We did.”

…Wow.

“You stink yourself, Link.”

Heh.  At least Chee was paying attention.

“…You did… did bleed a good deal.  And… you feel colder.”

Sorry, Princess.

“But I’m pleased to see you’re lucid.”

Uh.  Is that a surprise?

“You… had a bit of a spell this morning.”

Oh.  Zelda, I’m so sorry, that must’ve… I don’t even know what that would be like.

“I suppose I’m glad you don’t remember it.  Though you did say some notably sweet things in addition to the unnerving ones and aggravating your physical condition.”

“Water, Link.”

Thanks, Mom.

“A tiny sip only… that’s it.”

That-

That-

That’s not good.

Not good. Not good not good-

“Link?!” “What is it?”

“BWWHHHH-HHH” “Oh- oh NO, TOWEL!”

“No no no NO no no-“

“HHHHHKKKKK- KKKKKH- HHH- HHHH HHH hhh hh hh hh hh hhh… oh-“

“… No… no more water…”

I guess not.  Sorry, Zelda.  I- I didn’t realize it would do that, it didn’t seem worse than before!

“The sword…. said you were swelling inside. And bleeding.”

How… how much longer do I have to last?  With the bleeding and no more water?

“It- it’s 2:41 pm.”

…10 hours.

“Give or take.”

No more pain elixir?

“I’m afraid not.  Except what we can apply topically.”

Those doses last six hours, right?

“Yes.”

So… this one runs out in three.

“Yes.”

Okay.   Okay.  It’s okay.  I can be ready.

“We’ll be with you.  We’ll be here the whole time.”

I know, mom.  I know.

Is it… is it safe for me to sleep now?

“I think so… sword?”

The field is still diminished in this space, and I don’t expect you to be affected if not in a dream state.  I suggest you sleep, master, while you can.  It will be difficult later.

Yeah.  Okay then.  Sleep.

Mom’s hand on my head.  Chee’s hands around one of mine.  Zelda’s on my shin.  I’d never thought of shin-touching as comforting, but I guess it is!  I know she’s there at the foot of my bed.  Even the sword is propped near my head.  It’s like I have a defensive line.

Who knew I’d need defending from my own dreams?

_____

Read Next: This gift is not for me.

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[lovinkiri]

Idk if you write about this kind of stuff but what about the Bakusquad celebrating their last month in the UA getting high one night... And the weed shows their true nature. And on one hand we have Bakugou that goes in the middle of the night to his y/n room and he became super cute and clingy and tells her that he loves her for real. And on the other hand, we have a feral Kirishima who goes to his y/N dorm and demands affection and shows his love in a really dominating way. Mayyybe it gets a little naughty... Idk I let you decide that. If u feel uncomfortable with this ask, just ignore it please.

Under The Influence

Author's Thoughts: I have never once gotten high so I don't think this'll be good but I really wanted to try 💜 Also, no other characters were specified so I only did Bakugou and Kirishima, I hope thats fine.

Warning: Making Out, a bit of biting, a bit of marking.

ALL CHARACTERS ARE 18+

Katsuki Bakugou

Honestly, Katsuki didn't even wanna go to the celebration. He didn't see the point, he wasn't planning on getting high, and he could be sleeping.

But you convinced him, wanting him to have fun.

"You'll regret it if you don't go," You said.

"C'mon, you don't wanna miss out baby," You said.

"These are memories you'll want to share one day," You said.

And though he acted like those were terrible points, they weren't. So the night of, he went to Sero's dorm. They had specifically chose this night because Aizawa was going out for drinks. Well, he was dragged out but you get it.

You were hoping he'd loosen up, have some fun. Mina had invited you but you declined. Bakugou deserved a night with his friends. Besides, it was the Bakusquad. You had no idea what they were planning for tonight, but Mina and Denki usually found a way to get scolded by Aizawa. You wanted none of that.

So you decided to just catch some Z's.

And Bakugou?

Well, Mina eventually convinced him to join in their activities. And of all of them, Katsuki was the quietest when under the influence.

Then he suddenly stood up.

"I'm gonna head out. This was cool, I guess. Night, love you idiots."

And he was gone. Leaving the Bakusquad in disbelief at what they'd just heard leave their stubborn friend's mouth.

"What did he saaaay?"

Katsuki ignored the loud exclamation from Denki and went straight to your room, giving the door three sturdy knocks.

You're eyes fluttered for a moment and you sighed, forcing yourself out of bed. "The league better not be attacking again.."

Making your way to the door, you paused before opening it. "... Who is it?" You asked cautiously.

"Y/n, open the door already.."

You quickly did so, seeing as though it was Katsuki and not the little perv known as Mineta.

Katsuki stood there, eyes tinted pink and half lidded. You let him in, closing and locking the door after him. You couldn't help but laugh a little.

"Seems like you had fun after all, huh Katsuki?" You looked over, watching as he climbed into your bed.

He only grumbled something softly. You walked over and crawled over, sitting next to him.

But you hadn't expected a strong pair of arms to pull you closer.

You yelped softly and looked at him in shock. "Uh Katsuki? Are you okay?"

"... What? Can't hold you?" It was barely made out, his voice muffled as his voice was muffled by your torso.

You watched his face disappeared into your stomach. "You're different.." You giggled and curled your hair in his sand-blonde locks.

He sighed contently and the two of you stayed like that for a moment. The only sound was your breathing and the slight wind coming from your window. Then he spoke once more.

"I know.. That I can be an ass. But I love you, alright? A lot. So.. I know its selfish. But please let me love you. Until I can be better."

You couldn't help but stare with wide eyes before smiling softly. "Katsuki.. I'm not quite sure if it gets better than this."

Eijirou Kirishima

Eijirou was excited. A night to spend with his best friends, celebrating everything they'd been through, and how they'd survived it.

It was his job to bring the snacks, as they were bound to get hungry. Mina was going to bring the music. Sero brought the weed. Bakugou brought the blankets. Denki brought, as he put it, the good vibes.

Eijirou only wished you were there, but you'd told him you wanted him to spend time with his friends. If you went, you were worried you'd ruin the vibe. And he was always by your side nowadays.

"I'll still be here tomorrow." You told him.

So he gave you a kiss, wished you goodnight, and went off to Sero's room.

You spent the night watching movies, as sleeping became a bit difficult without your redheaded boyfriend.

During the fourth movie, said man entered your room. You looked over in confusion before smiling. Usually, Eijirou knocked before entering, so his sudden appearance surprised you.

"Hey, Eij. Did you have fun?" You watched him approach and climb in the bed.

He gave a nod and slowly climbed on top of you. "Yeah.. Missed ya though." He pressed a small kiss to your lips.

You blushed and returned the kiss, placing a hand on his chest. "Mmm.. I can see. Missed you too, babe."

He peppered kisses down your jaw, pulling your body further again his.

He couldn't help it. You just looked so good. Almost good enough to eat. Good enough to..

"Are you-" You cut off with a squeal, feeling his teeth sink into the soft flesh of your neck. His tongue ran over the spot in an attempt to soothe the sudden pain.

"Just lemme mark you up a bit more.." He growled lightly. "Make you all mine."

[annie-mit-ie]

Glimpses: Part 13 (Kathryn Hahn x Fem!Reader)

Part 1 // previous chapter <<< >>> next chapter

Summary: Just a casual catch-up.

Word Count: 2k

A/N: I don't even know what's happening with Kathryn anymore. Guess it's all going "downhill" from here. Don't get mad! It'll be better soon, I promise! ;)

Tag List: @danvers97 @zafirosreverie @srtamercurio @wanatag @pulledbythestars17 @plantowl @spacehahn

Playlist! :)

_____________________________________________________________________________

A couple days pass before you get another sign of life from Kathryn. It's the weekend again and you are lying on your bed, looking up at the ceiling. Alex is talking away on FaceTime, currently ranting about something that happened at her workplace earlier this week. She always does that, lets people walk over her and then complains about it to you.

You are just about to sit up and shut her down to make her stand up for herself more as a mail comes in. For a moment, you are confused, as you have never read the mail address it is coming from before. Still, you immediately open it to read through, a move that doesn't go unnoticed by Alex, who has stopped talking by now. 

"What is it?" She asks, looking rather concerned.

You are unsure what to say and talk as you read the mail. "Hmmmmmm, OH. Oh it's from Kathryn! Oh this took me way too long. But, you know, if all those "a prince from god knows where wants to send you money"-mails I wasn't sure what to expect." Both of you laugh as you read on.

Just as always, Alex is the perfect example of a nosy neighbor. "What does it saaaay? Don't keep me in the dark, ma'am!", she says and grins into the camera. Nearly done reading, you look up and shoot her an annoyed look. As a joke, obviously, but really, Alex needs to calm down sometimes. You reread the mail and prepare to summarize it for the both of you.

Essentially, Kathryn is simply talking about how she had broken her phone on the way to Europe as they made their way through the airport and spent a couple days hunting down your e-mail address to reach out to you again. She doesn't have a new phone just yet, because she took it as a chance to dive into the script and prepare for the shooting, but feels like it's about time she updates and checks in on you. Furthermore, to really focus on the movie, she decided to not cope the numbers from her old phone just now. Instead, she got a completely new, empty phone and only handed out her number to a handful of people, so she can really be one with the project.

It takes a while for you to understand that this means you are special to her and she chose you out of (probably) a lot of people to stay in contact with. If it wasn't for Alex, you would probably fall into a hole now and over analyze if this means more or not, but she interrupts your train of thought, as always.

"Isn't that just SO Kathryn? Like, I can totally see her sitting there, choosing not to have a phone so she can read her scripts in peace and become her character. That's how passionate she is, ugh, I love her."

Usually, you would agree and say you love her, too, but as of lately you can't bring yourself to say these words out loud anymore, since they feel way too intimate considering the relationship you have formed with Kathryn over the last couple of weeks. So, instead of saying anything, you simply nod and read the mail again before typing the number she provided you with into your phone.

A part of you is very happy about the mail and Kathryn's update, but you have to admit that there is also a part of you that wishes she would've said something about missing you. You miss her,  mentally and physically. You miss her touch and her warmth and, thinking about it for a little too long, you miss what kissing her lips feels like. And you miss how her hair feels on your skin as she bends over you. If you're being honest, you simply miss everything about her.

Alex seems to sense your thoughts and breaks the silence. "You miss her, don't you?"

You don't want to think about it any deeper as you can feel some tears forming in the corners of your eyes. Instead, you just nod as you bite the inside of your lower lip, holding them back.

"You know, Y/N. You should tell her. I am really sure she misses you, too. Like, in THAT way. If you tell me everything that happens between the two of you at all times, then I'm pretty sure she is in love with you, too, you know?" "I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH HER!", you suddenly jump and get way louder than you meant to be. Or are you? Hell, you don't even know anymore. Fact is, Kathryn is gone and won't be back for a while and there is no way for you to change that and that is why you shouldn't dwell into those feelings because after all you'll just get hurt anyway.

You decide to shoot a quick message to the number Kathryn provided you with and let her know you read the mail and hope she is doing alright. Also you can't help but tell her how incredibly boring life is without her - could be seen as you telling her you miss her, but doesn't have to be read that way if she doesn't want it.

Alex finally rants about work a little longer before you decide to watch a movie together since it's getting late on her end and you usually spend your Sundays watching a movie or two, whenever both of you are available. 

It takes Kathryn until around noon the next day to answer your message and she seems rather stressed, as it simply reads "Let's catch up tonight! x", as if she didn't even get to finish typing it all out. Excited for the night, you plan out the rest of the day and secretly hope she will acknowledged any kind of feelings she might have in any way, so you can finally talk it all out. 

You're sitting outside in your mom's garden in between all of her flowers on a comfy garden bench as the call comes in and decide to take it with your computer that is placed on the garden table beside you. This way, you can sit and act more comfortably and can grab a blanket or pillow with your hands instead of holding onto your phone.

"Hiya Hon! I missed your face!" Kathryn speaks in excitement as her wide grin fills the screen. She is also taking the call with a computer, as she is just putting her phone away when she sees you.

You smile softly and a warm fuzzy feeling makes itself at home in your body. „Hey Kathryn.. you look beautiful tonight, as always.“

Kathryn blushes as a cheeky smile plays along her lips and makes herself comfortable on the couch that's placed next to the hotel room window. You can see the last couple of sunrays cradling her face as she leans back and the sun hits her features through the open window. She is wearing a white loose shirt and a thin golden necklace is resting around her neck. Her fingers caress the cold metal as she looks at you, softly biting the right side of her lover lip.

„How are you doing, Sweetie?“ she says and you don’t know what to reply. You want to tell her that you miss her - more than just physically -, you want to tell her that she is occupying your thoughts and dreams and that you want to be with her and how it crushes you that she isn’t with you right now. Yet, something is holding you back, because somehow, you feel like she needs to be the one to bring it up first.

Your breath hitches as she does. „I miss you, honey.“

Your heart is racing and you can feel it beating in your throat in anticipation of what she might say next. „I miss sitting with you and laughing, yeah, but I also really miss kissing you. I can’t believe we don’t get to do that for such a long time.“ She groans.

Yeah. That. Of course she misses that. You sink back into the couch, slightly disappointed, but at the same time - what did you expect?

She notices. „Is everything alright, Love?“ she seems worried.

„Yeah! I’m good. It’s just been a rough week and not being able to sit and, you know, spent time with you just seems wrong.“ You’re not lying.

She nods. „It does. You’re right.“

„I know.“ For a moment, both of you fall silent, caught up in your thoughts. Kathryn is still playing with her necklace, as she is lying on the couch in a very relaxed position with her foot propped up and, all of a sudden, looks absolutely heartbroken.

You can’t stand to see her like this and decide to change the topic. You sit up straight again. „So… HOW IS IT? Tell me all about it! The set, the project, YOUR COLLEAGUES and like… I know you can’t really tell me anything, but like… TELL ME EVERYTHING.“

Her laughter fills the room. You did it, you made both of you happy. „Alright, well. It seems to be a very suspenseful movie and the cast is just great. Lots of people my age but also a couple young ones that remind me of you,“ she winks. „I enjoy working here very much so far.“

Speaking about other people has your attention, so you decide to dig deeper. „So, they all treat you like the Queen you are.“

She waves it off. „Oh SHUSH. You are crazy. Although… you are not wrong, all of them treat me very well.“ 

A small smile plays around her lips and, for a moment, you wonder why, but she is already changing the topic. “We’re actually going out for dinner in the upcoming week. I am very excited. It’s gonna be just a couple of us, but, you know me, I love connecting with the others. Bouncing off ideas and all.”

You nod. You DO know her. “That sounds amazing Kathryn! I am beyond excited for you.”

In the distance, you can hear thunder and see the clouds getting darker. Looking back at her, you catch her yawning. “Hey you? It’s getting stormy out here," You look around you again. "I think there’s a storm coming.”

“OH NO.” She mumbles, before she yawns again.

“ALSO,” you try to get her attention back. “You, ma’am, seem to be pretty tired tonight.”

Forcefully keeping her eyes open, she scans your face. “NEVER. I am never tired. I always go to bed late.” She laughs.

“Kathryn…” you really don’t want to be a literal mom in front of her again, but she doesn’t actually leave you a choice.

“I KNOW, I know,” she laughs. “I had a night shoot last night and I think I can finally feel the aftermath.” She yawns again. This time, you yawn with her. “See, you’re tired, too, and I can actually hear AND see the storm approaching behind you. I need you to stay save and get inside.”

You nod, already grabbing the things you put on your table. “Don’t go silent on me again, yeah?”

“I promise I won’t.” She says and you believe her.

“Alright then, good night, K.” Kathryn smiles at the nickname.

“Sleep well, Y/N. And again, text me anytime, promise I'll be there as soon as I can.” And with that, all good byes are said and you immediately close your computer and storm inside after hanging up as the first raindrops hit you.

The storm is starting to get heavier and the incoming rain is now hitting the windows hard as the thunder rolls in - a perfect representation of your thoughts and feelings piling up inside of you.

[pridewon]

@onehope​​ said:  🤍 ushioi 🪄 (all about that ship) (acc.)

Who cooks meals for the other? I think we talked a bit about their cooking habits, and based on what I remember, I would say that they’re both happy to cook meals for the other, but Oikawa has a more varied repertoire, while Ushijima tends to always make the same few dishes (very well, but it gets repetitive). So I would think that Oikawa would try and break that by cooking for him on occasions - and of course Ushijima would be happy to cook with him and learn.

Who spams the other with memes? Oikawa on the sole account that Ushijima doesn’t understand what a meme is 90% of the time vbfhb. 

Who likes to tidy around the house? I would say Ushijima, because he likes to keep things tidy and organised, and to busy himself when he has nothing to do at home - especially when the weather is bad and he can’t go for a jog. Plus, if Oikawa tends to cook more, then he would say it’s only fair he tidies around more.

Who likes to play pranks on the other? As much as I would kill to see Ushijima consciously play a prank on Oikawa, I’m gonna have to say Oikawa for all the obvious reasons vbhfb i’m sorry Oikawa he’s such a boring boyfriend. 

Who asked the other to move in with them? So I can’t remember if we actually decided it bUT. I’m thinking that the more the long distance wears them down and becomes difficult, and the more obvious Oikawa’s distress at the situation gets, then Ushijima could very well be the one cutting straight to the chase and saying “what if we moved back in the same country and moved in together?” - obviously a bit of a shot in the dark considring their careers, which at this point may not have been in a place where they could do that, but someone has to plant that grain at some point. And even if it isn’t something that happens immediately, it’s still a goal to work towards, something they can look forward to and plan around!

Who is in charge of the music during a car ride? Mayyybe both of them? What’s Oikawa’s music taste like? vfdvf I don’t even know what Ushijima listens to, probably just whatever happens to be on the radio when he turns it on. 

Who is more likely to tickle the other mercilessly? Oikawa is more likely to try, but Ushijima is most likely to succeed on account that he is only ticklish on his side and he’s very good at hiding it and if attacked will mercilessly retaliate bdjfvbh (narrator tip: attack by surprise for certain victory)

Who needs to hold the other during scary movies? I’m interpreting that as ‘who is too scared during scary movies and needs to hold the other’ bvdjh so I’m going to saaaay maybe Oikawa just because Ushijima is completely unfazed during scary films? Completely different story for scary video games though, this man cannot handle the interactivity and the immersion of it, never put Ushijima in a VR set please.

Who has to help the other when it comes to technology? Oh definitely Oikawa. Ushijima is useless with technology, his solution is generally “see what happens when you restart it, then hit it” and blinking when it doesn’t work and calling someone else to the rescue hvbjbj. 

Who likes to get a bit frisky in public / an inappropriate setting? I’m not sure either of them would be the type from what brief mentions of it I remember from your blog? I might be wrong though vdhbhfd do let me know if Oikawa actually likes to take a few risks B)

Who wakes up first, and do they wake up the other or let them rest? I’m going to say Ushijima tends to wake up first, and that he generally wakes him up because they have similar schedules - at least as long as they are both professional players. Once Oikawa retires, unless Oikawa asks him to wake him up, he’ll let him sleep in. And once they have the kids, I’m sure Tatsuya and Mayu are excellent alarms bhvjhb.

Who is always taking pictures of the other when they aren’t looking? Ushijima can take decent pictures, but Oikawa is the better photographer, and we know from the manga that he takes a lot of them so fvbjfdvb. Also Ushijima is boring and always asks before taking a picture of him. He is POLITE.

Who always forgets their wallet and never ends up paying for anything? Ushijima is too organised and meticulous to ever forget his wallet bvdjv Oikawa can pretend to forget his if he ever wants to be treated anywhere they go B)

Who can’t sleep because the other snores or moves too much at night? See here I’m going to have to say neither, because Ushijima sleeps like a damn log, so even if Oikawa snores or moves a lot, he won’t wake up vbhdhj he’ll only wake up to the children crying or if Oikawa is having a nightmare or something along those lines. And Ushijima doesn’t snore and he never moves in his sleep so I don’t know how he would keep Oikawa from sleeping unless he has a cold :’) let them get their quality sleep they deserve it.

Who is better at video games, and do they let the other win or show no mercy? Obviously Oikawa, we love one pro streamer in this house, but he better not show any mercy, got to keep that competition going even beyond volleyball and even in their relationship B) Ushijima will sulk for an entire week if he lets him win on purpose. 

Who always gets up in the middle of the night to use the restroom and accidentally wakes up the other? By default Ushijima because see above him not waking up even if there is noise around, and he’s a pretty heavy guy, it’s hard not to notice when he gets up from the mattress :’)