#if you know please explain because im late to the party

[nvrsaidiwasinurcloset]

okay hi just a warning rq my autocorrect is off bc it autocorrected my friend’s name to fuckin malayalam on accident. i dont like autocorrect.

ANYWAY! ive been listening to my lovely olivia rodrigo lately, specifically her new song obsessed. i wanted to know if you could make a fic with Ethan x fem! reader where readers bitchy friend has this ex (Ethan) and she made him out to be a real dick. like, manipulating and everything.

reader eventually meets him and it turns out that she remembers… a lot about him considering her friend is a constant yapper and cant shut up about him. Ethan actually turns out to be a real cutie patootie and could literally never hurt anyone.

a few days later theyd meet again at some club or party maybe where they end up hitting it off… a little too well.. yeah so she ends up in his bed (smut part, very dom ethan plspls 😛😛). they could be talking about something really random and then reader brings up how her friend basically completely lied about him and said he was a piece of shit when he really wasnt. like a realllll fluffy end before a small cliffhanger thats never gonna get finished where her friend ends up finding out and texting her.

so sorry if thats too long or confusing idk but i actually love your work so much im lowkey your #1 fan. 😍😍😍

HELLO! I switched this up a little, I hope that's okay! 💕

Also, I fucking loved the 'leave it on a cliffhanger part that won't get finished' because WHY IS THAT WHAT I DO lmao

Obsessed - Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader - Part 1

This contains SMUT - Minors DNI

Part 2

Summary: Your friend told you horrible lies about her ex-boyfriend, and once you get to know him, you realize he's not the monster she made him out to be.

Contains: Mentions of a toxic relationship, Dom-ish cocky Ethan, rough-ish sex, oral - f receiving, p in v, fluff (If I missed anything, PLEASE let me know. I'm sleep deprived atm)

A/N: This was the one that pulled me out of my writers block, lmao. It's still not where I want it to be, but I'm TRYING. I'll try to post more this week, but I will be busy so bear with me haha.

You didn’t know Ethan Landry, but you knew you didn’t like him. He used to date one of your friends, and after hearing all the horrible things he’d said and done during their relationship, you thought he was really scummy.

They dated in high school and couldn’t get enough of each other, so they wanted to go to the same college. They broke up right before freshman year started, and after almost a year, she still talked about him every chance she got. She’d tell you how controlling he was. The things he’d call her when he was mad. How he cheated on her. You couldn’t believe that she stayed in the relationship for as long as she did, because she never had anything good to say, except that she loved him.

You’d seen pictures of him, and after walking into one of your classes at the start of the new semester, you saw him in person for the first time. He was so shy as he took his seat in the lecture hall, some of the girls making their little comments about the rumors they’d heard about him. He didn’t seem like the type that would do the things your friend said, but maybe he was just really good at playing innocent. All you knew was that you needed to keep your distance from him.

When you met up with your friend later that day for lunch, you didn’t know if you wanted to bring up Ethan being in the same class as you, but once she brought him up, you decided to tell her.

“Speaking of Ethan…I saw him today,” you said, before taking a bite of your food. Her face dropped as she looked at you.

“Where did you see him?” she questioned. You explained that you saw him in one of your new classes, and she rolled her eyes. “Can you believe he still tries to text me?”

“What I can’t believe is that you haven’t blocked him,” you said, “I know I’d hate to see someone that treated me like shit’s name pop up on my phone.”

She started to giggle as you curiously stared at her. “I have him saved in my phone as ‘Tall loser with a small dick’, so I laugh every time he does text me.”

“That’s not toxic at all,” you said, as you started to think about what she’d said. “Wait, he treated you as bad as he did and has a small dick? What the fuck were you thinking?”

“All he had going for him was that he was cute,” she said, “But seriously, if I were you, I’d stay away from him.”

“Oh, please. Like I’d even want to be near him.”

Your morning wasn’t going as expected. You slept through all of your alarms; you didn’t have time to stop for coffee. You didn’t think your day could get any worse, until you walked into class and noticed the only empty seat available was beside Ethan. You took a deep breath before you walked over and sat down. Once you reached into your backpack, you realized that your laptop wasn’t there. You were in such a hurry when you ran out of your dorm and didn’t even think to grab it.

“Shit,” you whispered, “I’m so stupid.”

“Here,” Ethan said, passing you a notebook and a pen. You curiously looked at him as he offered a weak smile. “I always keep an extra notebook, just in case.”

“Thanks,” you said, a half-smile playing on your lips.

Once class started, you were taking your notes, but you kept glancing over to Ethan. He was so focused on typing that he didn’t notice, but you couldn’t help but wonder if everything your friend told you was true. At that moment, he didn’t seem like a jerk. Then again, he had only spoken a handful of words to you.

Ethan was aware of all the things that were said about him. He hoped that after a few weeks it all would’ve blown over, but once you have an angry ex-girlfriend paint you as some horrible, emotionally abusive asshole, it’s hard to come back from that. He knew that it was best for him to just keep his head down until he was able to transfer to a different school, where no one knew who he was. He was miserable at Blackmore, and he really had no reason to stick around, aside from the few friends he’d made.

After class was over, you tore the pages of notes you’d taken from the notebook to give it back to Ethan.

“Thanks again,” you said, as you handed it back to him.

“You’re welcome,” he said, shoving it back in his backpack. “I thought about just emailing you my notes, but I didn’t know if you’d want that.”

“You’re telling me I didn’t have to spend the last hour trying to write that fast?” you asked, as he flashed you a sweet, genuine smile. “Why wouldn’t someone want that?”

“I don’t know, maybe it’s because most people here hate me,” he said, sliding the straps of his backpack over his shoulders. “You’ve probably heard things about me.”

“Yeah…are they true?” you asked, as he shook his head.

“You’re the first person that’s asked me that. Everyone else just assumes everything is true,” he sighed, “But no, I’m not a bad person.”

You started to feel so guilty. You’d said plenty of bad things about him, but you only heard one side of the story. With your friends’ story changing so many times, getting more dramatic each time she told it, you were starting to realize that it was all bullshit. You still didn’t know exactly what happened, but you were curious to know what the truth was.

“You okay?” Ethan asked, noticing that you were lost in thought as you stood in front of him.

“I’m friends with your ex,” you said, as his smile slowly fell. “What’s the real story?”

He sat back down in his seat as the other students piled out of the room. You sat beside him as you waited for him to speak.

“I really loved her…but she was just so controlling. Then she cheated on me when she went to the beach with her family. I didn’t find out about that until right before we started college,” he said, looking over to you. “She was pissed that I broke up with her, then all these horrible things about me started going around.”

“That’s fucked up,” you said, as he nodded.

“Yeah, she’s still been trying to text me. I finally blocked her a few days ago.”

“Wait, she said you’ve been trying to text her,” you said, his eyes growing wide at your words.

“Her number’s been deleted from my phone for months. I have no interest in talking to her,” he said, “I know this must be weird for you since you are her friend, but I think it’s cool that you wanted to hear me out.”

“Well, I feel like I need to apologize…I’ve said some things about you that weren’t true.”

“She’s a good liar. She has almost the entire school hating me so it doesn’t surprise me that her friend does, too,” he said, as he stood back up.

“I don’t hate you,” you said, smiling at him. “I don’t know if you’d want to, and I know she’d kill me, but if you ever want to hang out sometime, let me know.”

“I’d like that.”

Ethan was kicking himself for not asking you for your number, or shit, even your social media so he could DM you. He thought you were beautiful, but he knew that hoping for a chance with you would be a reach. He really just needed more people in his life that believed him to make the time he still had at the university more enjoyable.

Your friend begged you to come to a random frat party that you didn’t feel like going to in the first place. After your talk with Ethan, you weren’t even sure you wanted to be around her. You still went, and after searching for her for almost an hour, you checked your phone to see a message from her that she wasn’t coming, and that she ran into one of the guys she’d been hooking up with on the way to the party.

“Why the fuck am I even here?” you said to yourself as you locked your phone and slid it into the back pocket of your jeans.

“Hopefully to hang out with me, if your offer’s still good,” you heard from behind you, recognizing Ethan’s voice.

“Hey,” you said as you turned to face him. “I didn’t expect to see the most hated man on campus here.”

“My roommate told me that if I stayed in my dorm tonight, he’d throw my Xbox out the window,” he said, glancing over to the muscular guy that was watching Ethan talk to you.

“Ah, so you were threatened into being social,” you said, as he started to laugh.

“I guess you could say that. Do you want a drink?”

“Sure.”

Ethan wasn’t much of a drinker; you could tell by the sour look on his face every time he took a sip. It gave him a little confidence though, as the two of you talked and got to know each other a little better.

“I don’t think I can drink this anymore,” he said, sitting the cup down on a table. You sat yours down too, and as soon as you did, someone bumped into you, shoving you into Ethan.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” you said, looking up at him. Your chest was pressed closely against his, his hands on your hips from catching you.

“Don’t be sorry,” he said, “You can stay this close to me all night, if you want.”

“Are you always this smooth? Or is it the alcohol?” you questioned as he smirked at you.

“I’m only buzzed,” he said, before he leaned down, placing his lips on yours.

Chad was still watching Ethan from afar, cheering and thrusting his fist in the air once he saw Ethan kiss you. He started to laugh against your lips before he pulled away to stare daggers through his roommate for interrupting the moment.

“I can’t take him anywhere,” Ethan said, as you smiled at him.

“We could go somewhere more private,” you suggested, as he took your hand in his.

“Want to go back to my dorm? He’ll be here for a while so I know we can talk without being interrupted.”

“Sure!”

Once you made it back to Ethan’s dorm, you were starting to think that he really did just want to talk. You enjoyed listening to him, though. He was telling you about all his hobbies and interests, and you were telling him yours. You started to glance around his side of the dorm room, noticing the cliché, dorky things you’d expect to see.

“Nice Star Wars poster, nerd,” you joked, as he smirked at you.

“Oh, I’m a nerd?” he said, as he nudged you back on his bed. He was hovering over you, his mouth inches from yours. The sexual tension got so thick as his eyes looked into yours, his hand rubbing your hip.

“Mhm,” you said, the corner of your bottom lip in between your teeth. “A hot nerd.”

He felt his cheeks start to heat up, and he really didn’t want you to notice, so he leaned down to finally connect his lips to yours. It didn’t take long for the kiss to get more intense, his tongue brushing across your bottom lip. You let him deepen the kiss, his tongue moving with yours as his hands started to roam. You whimpered into the kiss once his hand squeezed your thigh, your hips started to squirm underneath him.

He pulled away but still stayed close so the two of you could catch your breath. You were reading each other’s faces, and it was obvious that you both wanted more.

“How far do you want this to go?” he asked, his breathing still heavy as his eyes looked into yours.

“As far as you want,” you said, your sweet tone making him groan.

“That’s not what I asked you,” he said, as he leaned back down to kiss your neck. His curls were tickling you, but the only reaction you had were the soft moans slipping past your lips from how well his mouth moved. His hips were rutting into yours, showing you how hard he was for you.

“I want you to fuck me,” you said, as he pulled away to look at you.

“You sure?”

“Mhm.”

Ethan was a little, well, very eager. He got you undressed in what felt like seconds, leaving you in just your panties. Once he stripped down to just his boxers, you got a little curious. You glanced down to see his hard cock straining against the fabric, and started to laugh to yourself, your gaze going to the ceiling.

“What’s funny?” he asked, as he hovered back over you to take one of your nipples in his mouth. Your laughing stopped, a gasp slipping out when he started to suck. “I asked you a question,” he teased, before moving to the other side.

“She really does lie about everything,” you said, as his tongue swirled. “She said you had a small dick.”

He started to laugh against you, before he pulled back. “That’s funny, because she couldn’t take it.”

“I can,” you said, his smile turning to a smirk as his hand trailed down your body to rub you over your panties.

“We’ll see about that,” he said, as he moved lower down the bed to position himself between your thighs.

He slid your panties down your legs, before running his fingers over your wet pussy. Your eyes stayed on him, your bottom lip in between your teeth as he teased you. Your anticipation just kept building as he moved down the bed, positioning himself in between your thighs. He leaned in, slipping his tongue inside your entrance.

He was sloppily eating you out, his head moving from side to side. His arms hooked under your thighs to pull you as close to his face as he could as your hands went to his hair.

“So good,” you whimpered, your breathing getting faster as he worked you closer to your orgasm.

He slid his tongue out of you to focus on your clit, quickly replacing it with two of his fingers. Your back was arching off the bed as he moved his arm back and forth, applying as much pressure as he could to that spongy spot inside you as he sucked on your swollen bundle of nerves.

“You’re gonna make me cum,” you babbled, as he started to chuckle with your clit in his mouth.

That was all it took for your legs to start shaking and your grip on his hair getting even tighter. Once your pussy started to clench around him, he slowed his fingers to a slow roll, not wanting to overstimulate you. His tongue gently licked your clit as he worked you through it, your whimpers getting softer as you came down from your high.

“That was the best orgasm I’ve ever had,” you admitted through your shaky breathing. Ethan started to laugh a little as you looked at him, your eyes hazy. “What?”

“Just wait until I’m inside you,” he cockily said, “You still confident that you can handle it?”

“I know I can,” you said, your legs instinctively spreading wide for him as his fingertips ran up your thigh.

“What are you going to do when no one else can make you feel as good as I do?” he questioned, as one of his fingers started to rub circles on your clit.

“I guess I’d have to keep you around then,” you said, as he shook his head.

“You’d only have me until summer starts,” he said, his finger moving faster. “I’m transferring to a different school after this year.”

“No, you’re not..fuck. I’ll convince you to stay,” you said, relaxing into the bed as he teased you.

Ethan pulled his hand away from your pussy before he slid his boxers off. He crawled back on top of you and reached over to his bedside table to grab a condom.

“I might let you convince me,” he said, as he lined up with your entrance. You tensed up a little because you knew how big he was. “Relax, baby.”

You did as he said, taking a deep breath as he inched his way inside of you. You were moaning as he stretched you out, and when you thought he was all the way in, he just kept going.

“Oh fuck,” you whimpered, feeling so full as he finally came to a stop, wanting to give you plenty of time to adjust. “Told you..Fuck, I told you I could take it,” you said, already struggling to speak.

“Don’t get cocky,” he said, your mouth falling open as he started to move. “I’m going to ruin this pussy.”

“Ruin it,” you said, challenging him as your lusty, hooded eyes connected with his.

It took everything in Ethan to not immediately start pounding into you, but he didn’t want to hurt you. He started slow, your eyebrows already furrowing together, low moans slipping past your lips. The head of his cock hit that special spot every single time, but you needed more. He sped up a little as your legs wrapped around him, your hands gripped tightly around his biceps.

“Maybe you can take it,” he said, his breathing getting heavier. “Can I go faster?”

“Yes,” you whimpered, as his hips moved quicker.

Your brain was starting to turn to mush, the babbles slipping past your lips making absolutely no sense. The only thing your mind could process in that moment was how good Ethan was making you feel. He thought you were adorable, already so cock drunk, and he wasn’t even close to being done with you yet. He kept his pace, but occasionally thrust a little harder to see if you could take it, the loud moans slipping past your lips as your nails started to dig into his arms letting him know that you could.

He angled your hips to go even deeper. His pace was a little slow as he made sure you were okay. Your eyes were pleading with him to go faster, because you knew the words weren’t going to come out of your mouth. It was getting so hard for him to hold back, so he finally let go. He started to pound into you so hard that your skin was tingling, all the nerves in your body on edge. Your toes were curling as he slammed into your g-spot, your whimpers turning to cries as you felt your orgasm starting to build. It was hard for you to keep your eyes open, and you were sure Ethan was going to have your nail marks on his arms forever with how hard you were squeezing him.

“Fuck,” was the only word you were able to get out, your legs wrapping tightly around him as your body started to involuntarily jolt. Ethan was sure that everyone in the surrounding dorm rooms knew what was happening, because you were being so loud. He wasn’t letting up though. He loved that he was making you feel that good.

It only took a few more deep thrusts before your entire body started to tremble, loud whines flooding out of your mouth as the wave of euphoria washed over you. He chased his own orgasm as he fucked you through it, your pussy clenching him so tight that he was moaning himself.

“I’m almost there, baby,” he said, a slight rasp in his voice from all the panting he’d been doing.

You went limp, your grip on his arms and your legs around his waist relaxing as his hips started to falter, a loud groan slipping past his lips as he released into the condom.

He took a minute to catch his breath before he slid out of you. His abs were burning and his arms were sore from your nails, but he quickly got up to take the condom off so he could take care of you.

He crawled in the bed next to you as you adjusted to lay your head on his chest, still so fucked out that it was hard to process your thoughts. Ethan just held you close, his hands softly rubbing over your bare back as you relaxed into his touches.

“You’re okay, right?” he asked, after a few minutes of you not saying anything. You lazily nodded as your hand moved to rub across his chest.

You laid there in silence as you started to think about what’d just happened. You knew your friend was going to be pissed if she ever found out, but did that even matter? She made almost the entire university hate Ethan for things he never did, and it made you sad that he felt like he needed to switch to a different school so he wouldn’t have to deal with it anymore.

“So…” you finally said, “How can I convince you to stay?”

He let out a nervous laugh, not knowing the best way to respond. “I can’t take people talking about me the way they do anymore.”

“Even if I convince everyone that it was all lies?” you questioned, your tone playful as you angled your head to look at him. “I think it’d be awful for you to leave because of her. You could miss out on someone that would treat you right.”

“Someone like you?” he questioned as he looked down at you. You nodded, before he leaned down to kiss you. “You’re good at this whole convincing thing.”

“Does that mean you’ll stay?” you asked, smiling as you sat up to look at him.

“Yeah, as long as you don’t break my heart,” he said, wrapping his arms around you to pull you back down to his chest.

“I won’t.”

You stayed in Ethan’s bed for a couple hours, making plans for all the dates he wanted to take you on. It felt like you’d known him for way longer than just a few days, the two of you having an instant connection. You hated to pull away from him, but you knew you needed to get dressed before his roommate got home.

“It’s late, can I walk you back to your dorm?” he asked, as he started to put his clothes back on.

“I can’t believe I thought you were this horrible monster. You’re so sweet,” you said, as he smiled at you. “Yeah, you can walk me home.”

Ethan walked you to the front door of your building, pulling you into a gentle kiss before he pulled away.

“I’ll text you,” he said, as he started to back away.

“Yeah, let me know when you make it back to your dorm, please,” you said, as he nodded.

When you made it upstairs and got settled into your bed, you heard your phone vibrate as it charged on your bedside table. You grabbed it and saw a goodnight message from Ethan, a huge smile on your face as you responded to him. You were so exhausted from the time you’d spend with him, and you soon felt yourself start to doze off. You heard your phone buzz again, your eyes lazily opening to see if it was Ethan. You took a deep breath once you read the message that was sent to you.

‘Why the fuck were you kissing Ethan at that party?’

[shuaboo]

so ricky having a breeding and size kink with the reader…yk where he then pins the readers thighs to their chest just goes at it 😀😀

mdni nsfw under the cut

DAMN I GOT LIKE TWO ASKS ABT SIZE KINKS WITH DIFF MEMBERS.. ALL Y’ALL INTO SIZE KINKS???? who threw a size kink party and forgot to invite me 🙅🏻‍♀️?

THIS HIGHKEY TURNED INTO A FULL ON FIC sorry i love to yap. im the #1 yap god

anyway this is some delicious shit… i know ricky hate to see me comin 😭. he knows it’s unlikely you’ll have a baby when you’re both only 20. that’s far too young! but poor ricky just loves your pretty pussy so much, he wants to breed you and paint your walls white with his cum. :c he’s been hitting the gym lately, so he’s gotten bigger and stronger. that doesn’t help his case at all. now everytime you have sex, all he wants to do is put you in positions you didn’t even know existed and fuck you. all while begging you to let him cum inside because he wants to breed you soooo bad.

“hngh.. fuck.. baby please please let me cum inside, please.” ricky says as he fucks you in an inhumane pace, while he holds your legs open with one of them placed on his shoulder. “no— ah! n-no, ricky.. you can’t..” you manage to say in between broken moans, rejecting his pleads. ricky whines at your rejection, the image of you with his kid filling his mind. “don’t you want a mini us running around? hm? c’mon, don’t you wanna feel me stuff you full of my cum, baby?” ricky says, maintaining his speed ans kissing and nipping at your chest. “o-of course i want to, but—“ you try to explain, but ricky cuts you off. “then please let me cum inside you. i wanna stuff you full with my cum. give you my kid. mine. you’re all mine, right?” ricky pleads with you again. you nod at him and moan, tears falling down your face from how hard he’s fucking you. the thoughts of of ricky cumming inside you, ricky looking so happy with your kid, and ricky helping you when your boobs get sore because you’re pregnant clouding your head. eventually, it gets too much and he successfully convinces you to let him cum inside. ricky smirks at his triumph and fucks you even faster n harder than before if that’s possible. “shit.. ah— gonna look so.. so good when you’re stuffed full of my cum… even better when you’re carrying my baby.. i love you.. i love you.. i love you s’much..” ricky moans out as his thrusts start to get sloppy, signaling that he’s close. “f-fuck! baby, im g’na cum.. gonna let me cum inside right?” ricky asks and lowers himself to kiss you. you moan into the kiss and pull back again. “yes.. yes, yes, yes please cum inside me, ricky… oh fuck—“ you cry out as you cum around his length. your words alone makes his dick throb harder than ever, and he cums inside of you. both of you are panting from the long fucking session you just had, and ricky falls right beside u on the bed.

ricky adjusts himself so he’s facing you, and puts a hand on your cheek to make you face him. “y-you didn’t say that just because i wanted to cum inside you, right?” ricky asks you hesitantly, wanting to make sure you wanted it too and you didn’t just do it because he was into it. “fuck— yeah, of course. im sure about it. i don’t regret it either, but i think we should still get a plan b.” you answer him and chuckle, putting your own hand above his. ricky smiles and nods at your answer, kissing you quickly before sitting up. “c’mon lets get cleaned up, i’ll pick up the plan b tomorrow, kay?” you murmur an “okay” and nod. ricky smiles and picks you up so he can take you to the bathroom and help you shower.

“you sure you’re just here to help me shower?” you say teasingly at him. ricky rolls his eyes at your words, and leans down smirking. “yeah yeah, unless… you need another round? can’t get enough of me can you, baby?” he teases you right back. you slap his arm and pull him closer to kiss him.

pulling back from the kiss, ricky gives you a soft smile. “i love you so much, you know that? there’s no one else i want to do this with other than you.” you smile at his words, touched by his confession (that u alr knew..). “of course i do. i love you too. now, let’s shower. i feel icky.” you say back to him and both of you laugh at your last statement.

yay! ricky if u dont get over here and fuck me rn—

[he4rts-f0r-evang3line]

something inspired by hummingbird by metro and heartbeat by childhish gambino :D

synopsis: you and hobie are long time friends. everything goes well until that party where everything changed.

content: everyday au, reader and hobie are teens (15-17) implied relationships (not (yet) together) not proofread, really a drabble. also millie is hobies gf and jordan is readers partner. brief use of "y/n" and r/n stands for reader's name. also there is a whole lot of dialogue because 🧍🏻‍♀️ im v tired atm but i need to post anyway. also big ass drunk confession and brief description of drunkness.

author's note: today i got to see atsv in the original version with an online friend i met for the first time and. ive been blessed. the soundtrack really gives off eargasm fr

authors note 2: please please PLEASE reblog this if you liked it helps a lot with reach please and thank you :>

word count: 737 🕺🏻

"say, sunshine, yo coming to the party kevin's throwing tonight?" asked your best friend.

"i don't know" you reply, playing with your best friend's hair. "are you?"

"i'll probably go with millie. but why aren't you coming?" he said with a pout

"yknow im not that much of a social person. plus there's no point coming if no one i know will be there." you say, daydreaming.

"pleaaseee" he starts to beg. "millie will be there! you like her don't you?"

"are you? no no don't do those eyes at me" you say as you notice he was doing his begging eyes, the thing he always did whenever he wanted you to do something. "fine i'll go but only if you come too."

"thanks you so much sunshine!" hobie exclaims, starting to pack his stuff. he kisses your cheek before adding " make sure to invite your asshole of a boyfriend too!"

"stop calling me sunshine we are not in a relation-"

but he already left.

fast forward to the middle of the party, like 2/3 hours into

you were not that much of a lightweight, but tonight it seemed like you drank way too much. starting to feel overstimulated, you gave up on looking for your best friend and decided to go upstairs.

you opened a bunch of doors of rooms that were full of teens making out.

you accidentally stepped on a couple kissing in the stairs.

you did not like what you saw.

"jordan?" you say in disbelief. "what the fuck."

"babe i can explain its not what you think it is i- (he hastily drew off the girl he was kissing and followed you into an empty room so that you could talk without being disrupted by the loud music downstairs.

"explain yourself." you say, feeling dizzy because of all the alcohol you drank. "you know what? you don't have to explain everything. it's over. oh and go fuck yourself."

"r/n i-"

you didn't let him finish, leaving him with his brand new girlfriend.

you headed outside with another cup of alcohol in your hand, the fresh breeze greeting your face as tears started to run down your cheeks.

"i think that's enough alcohol for you, m'love." said hobie taking your drink away from you and putting his jacket over your shoulders. "what're you doing this late outside?"

"kiss me." you say, not paying attention to what your best friend was saying.

"what? no what about your boyf-"

"i don't have any anymore. motherfucker's cheated on me. cant really take a hint right? ive been in love with you the whole time. it's silly isn't it?"

hobie suddenly rose up to his feet and said:

"let's head out, you're clearly drunk."

he took you on his shoulders despite you showing your disagreement- though it did not last long.

he then brung you to his house and put you on his couch for you to fall asleep on.

making sure you were asleep, he played some soft music for him to clean a bit his house.

"i wish you were sober when you said you wanted to kiss me" hobie sighed as the first notes of hummingbird started filling the room.

the next day, you got woken up by the sweet smell of a cup of tea and an awful headache. not recognizing where you were, you instantly looked for your best friend.

"relax, sunshine, i'm right there", hobie said, putting your hair out of your face. "how're y'a feeling?"

"meh, i feel like a truck has run over my head. i wish all that alcohol made me forget jordan cheated on me.. speaking of which did you enjoy the party?"

"i've known better. but you're safe here, that's all that matters to me" he says, with a soft smile. "say, i have a question. were you sincere when you said you were in love with me yesterday?"

"eh." you say, wishing you confessed in a better way. "y'know the saying; drunk words are sober thoughts. but yes, i was sincere. i wish i did tell you in a better way though.

he smiled without saying anything.

"for how long have you been in love with me?" he asks with a smile

"wayy too many time."

"so, am i allowed to kiss you now that you confessed properly?"

"what? does that mean that-"

"take the hint, idiot" he says before soflty kissing you.

it's 2am now please let me sleep 😟

no but i actually enjoyed writing this sm i hope you liked reading it :D ik i alr said it in the beginning but please reblog!! it helps a lot small accounts like mine

[idkwhatever580]

Agatha All Along Commentary

⚠️WARNING⚠️ AGATHA ALL ALONG 1x6 SPOILERS AHEAD

you’ve been warned

Im late again guys 😣 alright. Here goes nothing. I’m seriously considering taking my anxiety meds before these episodes because atp that might help.

Started watching at 3:00 pm

I stg I stg I stg I stg if this turns out bad I’m gonna throw up. And that says a lot considering I have emetophobia

Ooh fancy he’s Jewish

I’m not familiar with the Jewish religion but seems pretty cool.

Okay so we have established that this is Billy Kaplan which idk how y’all dug so deep to figure it out but I guess it was common knowledge and I do not have common knowledge so it adds up

Ooh now there’s a party funnn lol

I wish I had parents that were proud of me

Lmaooooo “you’re both disgusting” is so fucking real

4:25

ARIANA WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE???

She’s kinda hot guys. I have daddy issues but I’m a lesbian lmaoooo

5:14

WTFFFF I CANT DO THIS SHIT I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT IT MEANS BUT SHES TOTALLY LYING TO HIM IN THIS

5:42

wtf does the tower reversed mean bitch

6:14

Hearing her say baby is so fucking hot I’m gonna nut everywhere

Oh lord guys I seriously have problems… but don’t say you weren’t thinking it too 😏

6:51

WTF IS THAT THING A PROTECTION SPELL OR WHAT?!?!

DID SHE PLACE THE SIGIL?!?!

Omg if she placed the sigil on him that would be insane

7:46

If y’all out there with the theories about Billy maximoff’s soul taking over Billy kaplan’s body im kms because that’s so valid

——id like to let y’all know that I know nothing about the marvel comics and I do not intend on learning or digging that deep kk? I also don’t know what Wiccan is but I guess it’s Billy maximoff? Not looking for someone to explain it tho lol——

IM SCARED J DONT WANNA SEE MY BABY

NO WANDA NO WANDA I DIDNT NEED TO HEAR HER VOICE

8:34

Holy shit.

8:39

Watching it disappear is so sad. Like I know she’s hurting and saving the rest of them

9:00

OH MY GOD THE PARENTS STAYED ALIVE I THOUGHT YALL SAID THEY ALL DIED OR LIKE TWO DEATHS

9:33

NO FUCKING WAY THIS SHIT IS ACTUALLY TRUE

Y’all playing too hard

9:52

No fucking way. I’m actually so done right now. I’m so fucking done I need to scream at someone and it needs to be the fucking producer

10:15

That must be so fucking scary to go to “sleep” as Billy Maximoff and wake up in someone else’s body. Like in Disney shows when they switch and shit they have a moment where they look in the mirror and scream but this is def more realistic

Also I thought someone said there were two deaths. I don’t see no dead people up in this bitch

10:55

wtf is this?? inside out?

11:06

Noooohohohoooooo I forgot that Billy M can mind read and shit

12:33

That dog knows

Why is it always the dog that knows?

13:44

Having to call her mom must have sucked balls

15:22

Damn he already trying to fit the part bro. Moving on too damn fast

Him and his mom with the lying bro ✋🙄

Stop I sound like Agatha 😭

16:02

SHE DID PLACE THE SIGIL ON HIM WTFFFF

16:26

Okay I see you little emo gay kid having more piercings than me and having kissed more people than me and I’m older than you 🙄

17:26

Damn that’s crazy. He actually is telling this dude his shit

18:40

Damn that’s so fucking crazy his smile is creeping me out bro

Also I totally knew little Billy M was meant to be a little gay baby

19:24

Damnit all of these hoes have connection with him. Of some kind

19:57

You found a guy on Reddit. And you’re meeting him? That sounds like you’re getting killed.

OMG WHO IS IT TELL ME WHO IT IS

ITS RALPH NO ITS RALPH POOR RANDALL SORRY RANDALL ITS JUST WE KNOW YOU AS RALPH

21:06

Damn he went kinda crazy from being with Agatha all that time huh? That means the only one that can handle her is rioooooo

21:42

Don’t take my wife’s name in vain hoe

lol I’m kidding

I also apparently have multiple wives

Lmaoooo please ask about Agatha harkness

24:06

YOU FUCKING MURDERED SPARKY I WILL NEVER EVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS I DONT CARE IF SHE MADE YOU DO THAT SHIT I HATE YOU

24:19

Omg I can’t do this shit

Does this mean that Tommy is also in someone’s body?

25:27

I seriously do wanna know what kind of crazy that lady eats for breakfast. And I hope it’s me 😏

26:24

Yeaaaahhhh this song eats me up.

27:20

HOHOHOHHHHH THAT PICTURE IS THE IMAGE OF A FA- a gay woman. A gay witchy woman…. 👀

27:36

OH YEAH THEY BROUGHT MY GIRL DOLLY INTO IT

DOLLY PARTON FOR PRESIDENT 2024

Ahem… excuse my political views ✋😭

28:20

Omg omg omg he’s going on the road to find Tommy I’m gonna cryyyyy

29:43

Oh he’s so emo with his eyeliner and his black heart boyfriend and his belt chain and his witchy witchyness

…okay maybe im jealous

29:55

Ugh mommy. They’re both so hot. I know we only see Agatha in this part but I’ll nut to the thought of Aubrey Plaza

30:06

You’re seriously using a fucking house lamp you idiot ✋😭

30:29

You tell me to stop I’ll do it mommy

OH LAWD I HAVE ISSUES

I have to shit bro 😭

31:07

Hooligan is so fucking funny 😭

31:33

Guys I’m nutting everywhere from her sitting like that she’s soooo gayyyyyy

The producer really said “gay” and Kathryn Hahn said “yes”

32:16

I think if I was in that situation as teen, I’d say I want to. I want to poke that damn bear and see if she’ll throw me on the desk and- oh. Right right. Not the point ✋😭😏

I ALSO JUST REALIZED THAT SHE IS WEARING A SHIRT THAT IS RALPHS RANDALLS? Idk anymore bro

32:59

Wait… this is so fucking funny bro 😭😭😭

33:45

OMG SHES LIKE IN THE INTERROGATION TABLE AND ITS ACTUALLY HER HOUSE BRO

I NEVER MADE THAT CONNECTION 😭😭😭

34:21

HOT HOOOTTTTT SHES SO HOT RIPPING THAT TAPE IS SO HOT

34:28

THATS SO FUCKING FUNNY BRO

34:46

Hold on these side swipe things are going too fast I’m so lost. 😭 I hate having a horrible memory that makes me not be able to remember every single detail when we’re going back to something from a different pov

35:10

STFU SHE COULDNT HEAR EITHER TIME AND BOTH TIMES HE SAID SOMETHING DIFFERENT I WONDER WHAT HE SAID ON THE ROAD WITH THE OTHER WITCHES

35:19

YEEESSSSS IM SK GLAD WERE BACK TO THE ROAD

35:28

Yes! Pull yourself out of that mystery goop!!!

36:11

FUCK YOU BITCH FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU DONT BREAK THE SIGIL PIECE FUCK YOU

37:53

Wait. I am so gullible I like her being nice bro ✋😭

38:00

COVERED IN MYSTERIOUS ROAD GOOP OR NOT THAT POSE IS FUCKIGN HOT

38:09

I can’t tell if she’s crying because she’s happy the SIGIL is broken and she’s right or if she’s crying because she actually liked the kid

38:33

FUCK SHES BEING EVIL AGAIN I NEED A GOOD AGATHA AND I KNOW IM NOT GETTING THAT BUT A GIRL CAN DREAM

38:45

I’ll kill someone for you Agatha

39:05

Wait when she’s like don’t feel guilty about your talent I feel like she’s trying to be evil but it’s kind of endearing. Like. Shes so strong about it which means so many witches have felt guilty about their talents before and she doesn’t want that to hinder him. Even if she is evil that’s pretty sweet.

39:53

OH FUCK YOU BITCH KYS KYS HAHA THATS WHY YOU CANT USE YOUR POWERS BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO BE GOOD GOOD NOT DECENT GOOD

40:43

Stfu Agatha. Don’t mess with our bitch.

Robo papa? BAHAHAHAHAHAAA

she knowsssss

41:34

BAHAHAHHAAHAAAAA

42:02

“Got it” not her being serious for once ✋😭

42:25

DONT I KNOW IT BITCH YOU DIDNT HAVE TO TELL ME IM WATXHING YOU LITTLE MAXIMOFF BITCH

Post watching notes:

I seriously needed some Agathario shit and I didn’t get that and I’m mad. IM SO MAD THAT THE INTIMACY COORDINATOR WAS FOR TEO LITTLE BOYS I NEEDED MY MIDDLE AGE WOMEN TO MAKE TF OUT THEY ARE TEASING ME 😖😖😖

[sophiethewitch1]

hey sophie! ive been listening to the www playlist a lot lately and was wondering if you could bust out ur playlist thesis? however much ur cool with sharing!! would love to hear your thoughts hehe. also, are there any bonus tracks we can listen to from the big og playlist?

i want you to know that for this entire post I was doing this

absolutely constantly. raving maniac mode. under the cut so i don't make everyone hate me for all the bullshit im about to spout and like some cough cough future hints. No actual spoilers but like... vibes and things that are obvious. Me telling you there will be yandere things in the yandere story, shock horror. These songs are the trailers/animatics in my head so uh. It's kind of hard to explain them without that (which is why I literally CAN NOT) for a couple of them lol. Oh!!!! And I've also got some other songs that really should've made the playlist but I just didn't add for some reason. Laziness or whatever. One's literally called birthday party. I uh. Don't think I need to explain that one.

But also I just like, whatever who cares if some of the songs on there aren't ones I 100% associate w what we want so here's the full playlist live your dreams. Most of them I associate at least a moderate bit. BUt under here is the fucking essay I've somehow written lmao I lost my mind somewhere along the way.

WHAT YOU GONNA DO??? By Bastille and Graham Coxon is first on the playlist for a reason. It's sort of like, similar to the rocking feeling of what being cramped on the subway was like to me? And it's a song that's pretty obvious with the lyric comparisons. The 'you' in the title IS you! What are you gonna do? You have us (Gotham, the world, the batfam) listening, so what are you gonna do with it? And it matches readers future response quite well I think. And it feels like something that a superhero would have in the background, which certainly helps.

Keep You Mine by NOTD and Shy Martin was actually just one of those songs you were listening to on loop at the time you were doing a thing, and then became intrinsically linked to that thing, but it still represent WWW quite well! It matches more so the later acts of the story, where you and the boys will have some issues staying together with eachother. But it's still poppy and romantic in tone!! Because you guys and your relationship, despite everything that'll happen, you want to keep each other y'know? And reader's like possessive and jealous in a cutesy way to offset how absolutely psycho bonkers the guys will end up being... But I also feel this too matches the superhero vibes? Somehow? The fight on of it... You must keep fighting, for each other!

Tinfoil Hat by Dolo Tonight is like,,, about the frustration of being a Gotham resident I suppose (or anyone living in late stage capitalism with a mental illness) but especially you! Since you totally fucking got ripped from one universe to another and um, i don't know if you've noticed this yet but... there seems to be some issues with readers idols??? Seeing as you love the waynes but hate the bats. Please duck under the comically large chekov's gun and come this way. Also because reader for a little bit does geniunely think she's crazy and need to go to the psychiatrist but obviously thinks that is the worst idea ever because the gotham mental health system is really just prison. and it's a prison with her nemesis. not the place to be.

Live, Learn, Die by Lavin is pretty obvious too, but in a much sadder tone. Reader as a character has at this point come to a conclusion that I'm sure many of us do in their lifetime (I know I have at least) which is that... things suck, and then you die. She doesn't want to die, but she doesn't really particularly actually want to live, she's just so damn focused on survival she's never actually even had the time to realise that. This other version of her who didn't have 24/7 adrenaline running in her body was obviously significantly worse off and seemed... off. If everyone you love is dead, is surviving for them even worth it anymore? She's still learning, so maybe she'll learn something different this time...?

Next song is a spoiler so skipping it <3! Lmfao interpret this however you'd like

Thelma + Louise By Bastille is a song about a scene that I am so damn eager to get to which unfortunately is in act fucking 3 which is my favourite but like. Suffering I am suffering :) Anyways I can't tell you too much about it because of but I will say that it's a road trip between you, Dick and Jason! It's very fun and absolutely no complex feelings are involved whatsoever. You meet Lucy the giant elephant (actual roadside attraction in new jersey lmfao). This song is Dick Grayson coded in like... mostly sunny vibes. Like the warmth the song gives, that's how you make him feel.

Temper Temper by LimeCordiale is a song that is about... you and Jason... and his poor poor habit of enabling you. 'Me and my girlfriend that I let do whatever she wants to me because shes hot' core. Bruce sees the two of you in the landing and gets immediate d10 psychic damage it's impressive. Anyways if anyone ever angers you (which I'm sure they never ever ever will :)) he's probably going to be there to back you up, because 'you know that that's what I like'. That video of you punching George is private time material frankly.

Next song is ALSO a spoiler which um. cough. 😳 let's not look too deep at this one actually folks

Werewolf By Quinn XCII. Ah yes, the yan in the yandere story. This one is ALSO about Jason but this is the most Jason coded song. I will say that this also features in the story at some point (you, Molly, Dick, Jason and some very poor suffering grunts). It's the lyrics. I've always said Jason is a loyal dog and I stand by it till the day I die. He also feels like a feral animal that constantly kind of wants to swallow you whole which is romantic I think <3 <4 But geniunely put that thing on a leash for the betterment of mankind. I mean you make them all feel like starving monsters Jason's the only one who has any self awareness unfortunately, which is why this is HIS song. Also because he'd be a werewolf, case close your honour. Dick'd be a vampire it's LITERALLY canon. WHat was I talking about

Ghosts by The 1975 got on here because I heard the first line and went 'hA!' because it really do just be 'You... You always seem to get what you want.' and also the "You seem to get better" is fuckin. IT'S SO GOOD MAN! That's EXACTLY what the guys are thinking when the next few chapters start coming around which. Really were supposed to be out by now whoopsie but yknow like. Anyways you ARE gonna start working on things!!! You're gonna talk to Molly!! You're gonna get more flowers!!!!! God damn it, you're gonna get what you want!!!!!!!!!!!!! (at least this first bit oop)

Next two are spoilers again, but this time you absolutely won't be able to guess because they're both animatic inside my own brain so take that! And I mean you REALLY won't be able to guess they're great scenes can't wait for you to see em. I can't wait either tbh why am I writing these stupid filler scenes lmao. why can't i skip to the end of my 200k enemies to lovers slowburn just to write the final chapter (did this to herself)

Together We're Screwed By Robotaki and Nevve is a song I've loved for ageeessssss bro because there is (to me at least) nothing more romantic than being a terrible horrible unredeemable person with the one you love. Hand in unlovable hand baby! That's like... the fic I guess, together the five of you are screwed. And it just matches that same earlier mentioned vibe of like... poppy kinda techno-y kinda superhero-y kinda loser-y. Listen to me, listen to me... This fic is about many things and I'll say it again and again and everytime it's true in a different way and this time it's true in this way. This fic is about being about being a loser and bad at everything and still managing to get what you want. Actually that might be what this fic is actually actually centrally about. 'We're both a mess, we just can't get it right. Together we're screwed. I'm looking at you, I'm looking at you~' like, be a mess!

And now we're at the exciting new

Birthday Party by AJR is like the equivalent of what would be a canon event for this au. Your birthday HAS to happen and it HAS to suck ass and all your family HAS to die on this day for some reason or another.. Some people told me when they had their birthday they thought of my fic and I was like damn bro who hurt you? /jk but really reader's birthday is kind of a reflection of... you know, everyone has at least one of those sucky as birthdays. And you've gotta paste on a brave face and pretend you don't want to cry and that it's all not too much and that for some reason you're disappointed and that the trudging march of time scares the shit out of you and that you haven't achieved anything this year and- You know? 'And that's just how it is.'

Okay I've run out of videos I can add but there are only two songs left so!! Ima finish this anyways.

Inertia by AJR is a song where again the lyrics speak for itself. Before you woke up in a slightly different world where everything was just slightly different, your life was stagnant. You were stuck, absolutely. Despite trying to break out of poverty, out of your circumstances, fortune simply wouldn't smile on you. And again, that other you seemed to reflect that stagnancy. She wasn't going anywhere either. In my head I see the two of you dancing like marionettes alone on your stages alone, unable to fight against the strings pulling at you. It's only till you start dancing with eachother, till the strings start tangling that you start getting any freedom. That you're able to start getting anywhere. Maybe being set off course was the best thing that could happen to both of you?

Something Just Like This by The Chainsmokers and Coldplay is a song that both me and my mum love, and also one very fitting to the superhero theme! And it's how ALL the guys feel about you!! You're really just a civilian, you're not that important in the grand scheme of things... But why do you like them? It's for such stupid reasons. It's because of the way Damian reads romance novels and Jason never properly tapes his nuckles and Dick has a stupid bleeding heart so he keeps taking too many hours at the Bludhaven pet rescue and Tim always fucking sends you the new york wordle, connections, crossword and spelling bee first thing in the morning and then asks if you want any help when he knows you want to do it on your own and- Every single moment of you is done with such love and sincerity and heart and they can't help but fall in love again and again and again. 'I want something just like this' is a phrase they'll say to you and you'll say to them too.

[honeyconez]

Cone cave

there’s cones and pans and honey everywhere… I wonder why…

updated march 14nd

I go by Conez or Ed

I’m trans and genderfluid maybe???? Idk and pansexual 🍳🍳🍳 and CONESEXUAL I’m joking it’s JOKES😍😍😍 but like platonic wirh the homie don’t worry twin!!!!

He/They and she on thursdays and Saturdays

Becoming a middle aged adult with a midlife crisis speedrun

My favorit songs are Suburbia Overture by Will Wood, Dr Sunshine is dead by Will Wood AGAIN, The first step BY WILL WOOD ONCE MORE, front street by YOU GUESSED IT WILL WOOD, Laplaces angel by WILL WOOD, the safety dance extended version (I like the beeps) by… will- men without hats?? Against the kitchen floor by will wood,,, murine corps from the cuphead ost, Rhode Island by the front bottoms, all hail the fishermen from Lisa th painful, and marketland by lemon demon

I moved the rest of my favorites to under the cut because it’s massive as hell LOWWW TAPER FADE

I’m learning French (ew spy reference)

I LOOOVEVEE tf2 i will mostly be posting tf2 related stuff and soldier is my FAVORITE and SOLJAH IS MY FAVORITE FREAK I LOVE FREAK FORTRESS AND I LOVE SOLDINE AND ORANGEMAN AND AND PANINI

aND I LIKE SONUC THE HEDGHONK I LIKE METAL SONJC A LOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND REWRITE THST GYY IS GOOFY

My favorite ships are helmet party, zhannasoldier, boots n bombs, fruit scones, pyrosoldier, freedom fries, huttah huttah, magic missiles MY FAVORITE CRACKSHIP FUNNY FUNNY, flashfire holy fuck ones that aren’t with soldier, napoleon complex, science party, and speeding bullet

yes I am a huge multi shipper and I have intricate little headcanons about all the soldier ships I mentioned above and each combination of the teams

And I have a shitload of soldier ocs. One of them is named honeycock. This is only because my friend insisted that I name him honeycock.

Some specific tf2 series or videos I LVOE SO MUCH are lil pootis, Emesis blue, bizzare bucket, unusual troubles, hoovydundy, THE ALL MY FELLAS SFM REEEEE, Team Neighborhood, badwater videos, literally any yup kup video and I’m pretty sure there’s more but I have 3 braincel theyr all dedicated to rocket jumping

Some of my smaller interests are Dogman, the SCP Foundation, HLVRAI, OFF, Endoparasitic, rocket launchers, digging holes, grilled cheese, rocket jumping holy FUCK I love rocket jumping, and market gardening

I’m pretty socially goofy so if I don’t respond to a comment or I respond in a weird way it’s because I don’t know how to RESPOND because I DUNNO 😭😭😭

I don’t mean to be an asshole but sometimes I feel like can come off as one but I don’t mean to be offensive I’m sowwy 👉👈 I’m never fucking doing that again

and sometimes I stay up really late and I am completely out of it after a certain time so PLEASE IM BEGGING PLEASE EXCUSE ANY WEIRD POSTS OR COMMENTS IM PROBABLY EEPY

Wwatt blinkies and boxes credit: @/fallcicada @/songuserbox

soldier stamps credit : @/irldenji

✨ My Tags ✨💅💅💃💃💃😹😿😿

Conezdumbideas - shitposts and doodles

Conezmakeart - art tag

Conezyappityyap - me rambling

Conepookies - me irl frens

Conezdoesthegmog - gmod sillies

Conezgoofyasscreations - my gooby ocs

🧦 Tags to find my shitty comics idk ✨

Conezsillyvoidcomic - void comic (yeah idk about this one probably won’t happen)

(there was a tag here but I forgot what the idea was gonna be so I put this here to forever be reminded that I probably had a great idea)

Old tags below cut and dni list yadda yadda

I dont tag reblogs usually so you can probably find all my shitty art by doing a tag

🥖🥖🥖 Old Tags 💔🥖🥖

conezeatspencils - pencil drawings

wholetconezcook - drawings

and also about the comics!!

void comic thing - I might start this one again but I probably won’t I don’t really like it it feels kind of unoriginal I dunno how to explain but PLEASE send me an ask if you were actually interested in it

the one I forgot about - ok I had a good idea and I forgot. ok.

all that we lost - this is a big one!! I’m trying to turn the fic “All that we lost” by mx_boxlocks on ao3 into a comic. It’s 32,000 words but I would like to have fun and not completely copy it and just take parts of the main plot. The fic itself is also unfinished as of writing this and I always wanted to write an end for it!!

yes it is happening.

Other general stuff I find neat

•Computer viruses(stuxnet……)

•World Wars 1 & 2 ASK ME ABOUT OPERATION MARKET GARDEN 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

•Patterns in math…. My beloved….

•Paradoxes

•Spaceeeeeeeee

•Geology

•Math in general I guess

•Coding

•Rules of robotics

•History

•War strategies

•The Art of War by Sun Tzu for exactly why you think

Games me like or play

• Undertale/Deltarune

• Minecraft

• Celeste

• Rayman

• Subnautica

• Cat Quest I & II

• Stardew Valley

• Cuphead

• Cult Of the Lamb

Movies

• Emesis Blue

• Deadpool 1, 2, and 3

• Howl’s Moving Castle

• Magnificent Nine

• Steven Universe the Movie

• Mitchels vs the Machines

(Will add more I remember)

Cartoons / Shows / Series idk

• Lil Pootis

• Adventure Time

• Fionna & Cake

• Adventure Time Distant Lands

• Steven Universe

• Minecraft Storymode (I watched the Netflix thingy before it was removed)

• Captain Underpants

• Team Neighborhood

• Over the Garden Wall (one of my favs)

Books / Comics

• Curse Of the Werepenguin

• Dogman (huge inspiration)

• Breaking Cat News (huger inspiration)

• Bunnicula

• The Outsiders (could yap forever)

• Midsummer’s Nights Dream

• Adventure Time Comics

Youtube series or Youtubers I like

PLEASE TELL ME IF ANYONE HERES A BAD PERSON

also it’s all tf2

• Honorcrocketts

• Rubberfruit

• Kostamonien

• STBlackST / Unusual Troubles

• Kitty0706

• Requiem For A Pizza

• Badwatervideos2009

• HoovyTube

• Team Neighborhood

• Kugawattan

• TheInvertedShadow

• DamashiDX

• KIEGKILLSREALITY THIS DUDE IS AMAZING HOLY SHART IVE WATCHED EVERY VIDEO THRICE

• Yup Kup I am rationing yup kup videos otherwise I’ll watch all of them in 2 days

Musics

• Will Wood

• Will Wood and the Tapeworms

• Penelope Scott

• Weird Al Yankovic!!!!

• ARTHUR

• Radiohead

(I do not have a lot of favorites)

SONGSSSS HEHE

femininomenon by Chappell Roan

HAND ME MY SHOVEL I’M GOING IN BY WILL WOOD

skeleton appreciation day in vestal ny by Will wood yes I am a will wood could you tell

basket case by Green Day

succexy by metric

raw sugar by metric

20190724 by Mac DeMarco

ATTACKING VERTICLE BY FEMTANYL

wierd shit from the Lisa the painful ost

mouth wide open from LTP ost again

summer love from ltp AGAINNN itd a good sound track ok

face eater, blowout, the twist, and all that glitters all by noisemaker

back to Olathe from ltp, homeland hussle ALSO FROM LTP JEEEEZ

wet by dazey and the scouts

metal crusher, rude buster, and it’s showtime! from that one game

icicles by the scary jokes

BLACKBOXWARRIOR OKULTRA BY WILL WOOD OUUEGHH I LOVE THIS SONG BUT I LISTENED TO IT TOO MUCH ouughhhh I can almost understand it… it’s barely beyond my comprehension

Sad by lemon demon

Machiavellian Bach from the portal ost

William Penn by ARTHUR

Sweet memory by ARTHUR

Ivy League by ARTHUR

Woof Woof by ARTHUR

Change the formality by infected mushroom OOOOUGHHH

Pizza Heroes by lemon demon

que sera sera from the one rolly game

Oxford comma by vampire weekend

Into the unknown from over the garden wall

INVISIBLE BY DURAN DURAN snake snake snake snake snake 🐍 hmmm this snake is AWFULLY… gets shot and killed

specifically the first part with the guitar in Molly by mindless self indulgence

DNI

Homophobes, transphobes, nazis, racists, pedos, pervs, proshit, zionists, zoophiles, completely NSFW blogs, TERFs and SWERFs yknow like basic peoples who be shitty I know theres gonna be some fuckwads who interact anyway and just know I check followers

Also some very specific stuff

-People who ship emesis blue solly and spy idk about you… you’re welcome I guess but I’ll sideye you (I could on a whole rant about how shitty he is he’s so mean to solly 😭😭) -People who genuinely like lunchly gtfo you’re witerawy an npc… lunchables are so much better -That girl from 2nd grade who told me to smell her ass bc it smelled liked bubblegum and also told me that adventure time made me stupider fuck you -People who are like really aggressively vegetarian or vegan??? Like they force it onto other people -Ppl who don’t like Bluey? I didn’t even know Bluey haters existed -IF YOU LIKE JIMMY FROM THE WAHSING OF MOUTH GAME -People who like brussel sprouts wtf? No one likes them -People who say Minecraft was ruined and the old versions were better GET OUT GET OUT I’LL POLITELY HOLD THE EXIT DOOR OPEN FOR YOU JUST PLAY THE OLDER VERSIONS THEN FUCKWAD -People who aggressively shit on people for liking dark humor (or aggressively shit on people at all. Unless you’re both into that then idk what to say good for you) -People who aren’t comfortable with objectum, nothing against you but there will be the occasional jokes about objectum so just block me for your comfort if you don’t like that I don’t talk about it a lot tho -People who still use Dr bright or support him. What the fuck? -People who don’t find the schlatt joke funny where they put schl at the schleginning of schlords it’s the funniest thing you schlarty schlooper -Lack toes and told her aunt

(Yes most of these are a joke)

self ish is my favroite album coudl you tel 😻 it’s actually everything is a lot but the self ish album cover is so skibdi amongus toulet

IT HAS BEEN REPLACED WITH SOLDIER THANKS TO @/axiilotl

[heartshapedconchas]

okay..hi. i know i haven’t updated my fanfic in literal months, but that is NOT what is important right now.

first of all, what the hell is wrong with you all?? threatening black authors&readers and calling them slurs because they ask for more inclusiveness?? fuck all of you.

Second, im going to give my piece of mind with the whole situation that is happening. Mind you i am a high femme, brown lesbian who has been masculinized most of her life. Now, correct me if i’m wrong, but some people (mainly non white/black users) are calling out some white authors on centering their reader inserts on whiteness. I understand this , again as a brown woman, who has found it difficult since I began reading self insert fanfics at like..9 years old.

However.

Something that is.. bewildering to me that I’ve seen brought up in this conversation is how .. the readers being hyperfeminine and whatnot somehow… makes it not relatable to people of color, SPECIFICALLY women of color; because of the history of them being masculinized.

This is so incredibly confusing to me cuz again,,, for me as a very femme brown woman who has been nothing but masculinized her whole life … has never felt alienated by these femme characters. Ever. In fact they make me feel more included because god it feels good to be feminine and not have that denied, even in fanfics. From my perspective; if you feel as if these femme characters only represent white ones— are you not upholding the exact stereotype that has been given to women of color for years?

This is just my opinion though; you are free to believe whatever you believe in and express how you feel (without attacking and siccing your followers onto whoever you’re speaking on).

In my writing I will always try my best to make all woc/poc feel included. If at some point I’m not doing that, i’m trying to make my fellow brown women feel included (as even though there has been an influx of non white writings as of late, the majority I see are black readers).

To all the white writers out there, try and leave your descriptions of the reader to a minimum of exclusivity. While you don’t have to make your reader insert obviously a woman of color, don’t make them obviously a white women either.

Personally I think we should leave the race specific fanfics to the people of that race. Because what white woman is gonna write a brown latina fanfic the accurate way and in a way I would enjoy? Write your fanfics in a race neutral manner, and to all the writers of color out there — write your fanfics race specific if you want to!

To my fellow authors and readers of color, speak about your concerns of inclusivity in our community! You have the right to speak your mind. Just please, please do not speak about authors in an ill manner if they haven’t done anything horribly, absolutely wrong. Critique them. Give advice. They can only learn if you give them room to grow.

And for both parties, please for the love of god; don’t allow people to send r*pe threats or call them slurs. Regardless of your race or what “side” you are on, no one deserves that. Elskittie didn’t deserve it earlier on, MULTIPLE black authors/readers don’t deserve it now. Be kind , fucking respect each other. Be fucking mature enough to have conversations about this instead of childish fights.

Oh and one more thing, please absolutely just tell me if i’m misinterpreting something in this post at all! This is from my perspective as a brown woman of color. And also i’m 95% sure i’m autistic. I have a hard time understanding things sometimes and just need it put in simpler terms :) don’t be an asshole and just kindly explain! thank u! 💗

[toomuchracket]

per the concept you posted last week about matty being your first at a house party…this has been my comfort thought at work today.

Just afterwards, you and matty are still cuddling in bed and he asks if you’d like to go back downstairs and you’re like “yes please im a bit knackered” so he gets up and gets dressed and you ask if you can borrow some comfy clothes from him. He obliges and gives you a graphic tee and some flannel pyjama pants and they smell like him and it’s so comforting on top of all the hormones that have just released in your body.

So you head downstairs and go to the fridge while matty ducks away to the restroom “I’ll just be a minute sweetheart” and you’re like “omg matty I’m fine” but really you do appreciate it because it was quite a new experience! you’re looking in the fridge when he comes up behind you and loops his arm around your neck while standing beside you. “What you looking for?” “Have you got any juice?” He grabs it out of its hiding place and gives it to you, giving the top of your head a sweet kiss before you turn around to find the solo cups. Just then George and charli burst into the kitchen (they are late to the party) and George and Matty greet each other. George clocks that you’re wearing Matty’s clothes and asks if you’re alright. “Just got tired of my party clothes is all.” And matty doesn’t want George to suspect anything so he whispers to his friend that you had a bit too much to drink and needed taking care of to explain his extra protective behaviour around you.

Then charli is suggesting the four of you play beer pong boys against girls and you’re down but matty whines that he wants to be your partner and your friends know how stubborn he is so they oblige. “No beer for you then y/n,” says George, “Matty?” And you look up at matty quickly pleading with him not to make you be sober alone. “Water for us both mate, thanks.” And then mattys rubbing sweet circles on your lower back as you throw the first two balls, missing awfully. You’re shaking a bit and matty rubs your shoulders trying to warm you up, “are you cold?”

“No just the adrenaline I think.”

“From beer pong? I don’t care if we win.”

“No, not from the beer pong.”

“Oh right, right. Do you want to go back upstairs?”

“No I’m fine, just will you help me throw the next one?”

“Sure darling.”

And he does and you guys end up losing but who cares. You tell George and Charli that you’re ready to go to bed and you all hug each other and matty leads you back up to his room where he lifts the covers up and tucks you in “get in, you.” He gets up from the bed a bit abruptly and you get scared a second “where are you going?”

“Was just gonna change into my boxers, is that okay?”

You raise your eyebrows at him “nothing I haven’t seen before.” And he’s like “okay getting cheeky already I see” and when he takes his pant off you mom obnoxiously at his bulge and he’s fake fighting with you like “oi don’t make jokes about my penis I don’t like that!” And then he’s on top of you tickling you and you’re like “no no I’m sorry I concede!! You’re penis isn’t funny!” And he’s like “that’s what I thought” 😌 and relents so you can relax into his chest and get a good nights sleep.

(initial concept can be found here) anon this is so CUTE i don't even know if there's anything i can add!! matty WOULD do all that - obviously there's a new level of intimacy between you post-sex, but he's careful not to overstep any boundaries and be too lovey-dovey with you (although i think the two of you are fairly casually affectionate with each other just out of habit at this point) while still making sure you're ok. no wonder you wanted him to be the first person you had sex with, if he's so sweet and attentive and caring towards you!! thank you so much for this, it's so lovely to see how the things i write take on their own lives and developments through reader perception <3

[pinkipeachiikeen]

And The Stars Will Guide Us Home- Chapter 3

A Batfam/BSD crossover series, Dazai x Fem!Reader

Chapter two <------ Chapter three -----> Chapter four

Ranpo was used to staying at the agency until the oddest of hours. He wasn’t unfamiliar to waking up to a dark and deserted office to find out all the others have already called it a day, (they used to attempt to wake him up, but found that to be hazardous to all parties. Junichiro says he almost chomped off his finger, but Ranpo, of course has no recollection of such thing.) but this was the first time it ever felt wrong. 

Maybe because from a legal standpoint, this could be classified as ‘breaking and entering’, but Ranpo has never been much for formalities.

Maybe it wouldn’t be as much of a case if Ranpo had any logical reason as to why he’s here, like if he forgot important case files, his phone or his beloved candy. But no. Ranpo doesn’t know why he’s here. As much as he tries to pin something to it, he can’t. He just knows something is wrong. 

Something much more than Yoru.

Chapter warnings: Dazai typical double suicide mention

Word count: 7042

Tick

Tock

Tick

Ranpos eyes narrow at the analog clock, eyebrow nearly twitching in irritation

Tick

Tock

Tick

“H-hey Ranpo? Everything good?” Junichiro asks, peeking out from his desk.

Instead of an answer like a normal human, Ranpo barely spares him a glance, along with  displeased hmph. 

“Um, okay, I guess.” Junichiro mutters. 

“Don’t mind him, he’s just upset that Fukuzawa isn’t back yet.” Kunikida shares, eyes unmoved from his computer monitor, click clacking away on a report Dazai was supposed to file a week ago, but left it untouched and is now missing in action. Again. 

“He was supposed to be back days ago. Where the hell is he?” he crossed his arms, letting out a grumble that sounded a lot like ‘he was supposed to bring me snacks.’

“Just use your super deduction,” Yosano suggested as she leaned back in her desk chair. “If you’re that pressed about it, super detective.”

“I’m not ‘pressed’, first of all and second its worlds greatest detective” he corrects as he ennonciates  the last three words, grabbing a lollipop in his pocket. “Not super. ‘Super’ makes me seem like the protagonist of a shitty cartoon.” 

Yosano shrugs. “You sure act like one.”

“What does that mean?!”

The door clicks open to reveal the man of the hour and the head of the agency, Fukuzawa Yukichi. “Good morning, everyone”

The agency residents all responded in kind, all except for Ranpo of course.

“What took you so long? Where were you all this time?” he almost scolded, shoving his unopened lollipop back into his pocket, sounding much like a nagging mother suspicious of her teenage son. 

“Like I told you, I was meeting with a colleague in the states.” Fukuzawa said, unbothered (and used to) Ranpos antics

“You also said you would be back on the fifth. Four days ago.” he recalled. “You got some explain’ to do.” 

Before Kunikida could chide Ranpo on respecting the president, Fukuzawa surprised them all by agreeing with his temperamental son. “You’re right, Ranpo.” He clears his throat. “May I have everyone’s attention please?'' His firm voice echoed the room, gaining the eyes and ears of the few who weren’t already invested.

“As you may know, I was meeting with a colleague of mine overseas and was supposed to return a few days ago,” his eyes glanced over to Ranpo, who  once again looked like a nagging mother, waiting for her son's explanation for staying out too late. “But due to unforeseen events, there  were some..complications.” 

“What do you mean ‘complications’? Is everything okay?” Kunikida chimed in, report forgotten.

“Yes, everything is fi-”

“Bitch i’m a cow, bitch i’m a cow, bitch im a–” 

Everyone stops at the vulgar music coming from the President's office

Crash!

Several murmurs sounding suspiciously like ‘son of a bitch’, ‘i swear to fucking god’ and ‘i’m gonna kill them next time I see them’ leak out of the office.

A moment of silence happens as looks of general confusion are exchanged. 

“Is everything alright in there?” Fukuzawa asks.

After a pregnant pause (one of embarrassment everyone rightfully assumes) the voice responds. “Uh, yeah. Sorry, that was an alarm.” she explains before quickly adding “My friends changed it and I uh never got to change it back… or turn the alarm off for that matter.”

“Well, I was just explaining our situation, might as well introduce yourself properly.” Fukuzawa said. 

Another pregnant pause. “Right now?”

“Yes, right now.”

“Uh, well i’d love to, I really would but I um, am not very workplace presentable?”

“The Agency doesn’t have much of a dress code. The only rule to really follow is to wear shoes, which I never thought had to be implemented,” he looks towards Kenji, who scrambles to slide on his sandals. “But here we are.”

“Well I definitely have shoes, but, hm.” She pauses to find the right words. “I would love to meet the lovely members of the Agency while dressed in something more business casual and less…. Hobo chic.”

The president's eyebrows furrow slightly. “Aren’t you wearing my coat?” 

“I am, and it’s a wonderful coat!” she replies quickly, sensing her mistake in words.

She sighs, sliding open the office door. “It's just paired with a tank top that is at least three sizes to large from a gas station I never heard of, a pair of jeans held up by a shoestring, and boots that I can guarantee you weren’t supposed to be this color. That paired with the fact that it has been a long 48 hours without a shower in sight, I look like a homeless tweenager you picked off the street.”

“Careful Ranpo, she’s stealing your brand.” Yosano whispered, receiving a nudge from Ranpos elbow in return.

“Given those 48 hours, I assure you, you look fine.” Fukuzawa assure, beckoning her over to him and the others. “Yoru, this is the Detective Agency.” 

Yoru gave a polite smile, tucking a greasy wayward strand of hair behind her ear, bringing attention to the eyepatch over her left eye.

A detail in which Ranpo was restraining himself from asking about, given he doesn’t really feel in the mood for another lecture from Fukuzawa about ‘manners’  and ‘respect’.

“It’s nice to meet you all.” She gave a curt bow. “I’ve heard so many things about all of you.”

“All good things I hope.” Kunikida politely replies

Suddenly, the door to the office slams open, revealing a slightly out of breath Dazai. Hand still on the door, hunched over, he pants. “GUYS WHY DIDN”T OF YOU TELL ME THEY FILLED IN THE SINKHOLE BY THE CORNER SHOP?!” he wheezes, gathering enough of his breath to stand up properly. “I just read about a wonderful way to commit-” his brain finally catches up to his mouth after wondering why Kunikida hasn’t scolded him for slamming the door and yelling (again) “Oh the Prez is back!” he cheers, eyes then landing on the woman of the hour, Yoru. His eyes widen, just for a second before oozing into his seductive charm. “Well hello there.” he purrs

Yoru turns to Kunikida. “Let’s just leave it at ‘things’”

Kunikida sighs deeply, the kind of sigh that everyone knows is only reserved for the suicidal manicac they call Dazai. “That’s…. That’s definitely understandable.”

Ranpo raises his eyebrow,

Y’know most people wouldn’t recognise the small things, such as a pause, a stutter or a hitch of a breath. They are written off as insignificant, unimportant. But not to Ranpo. Ranpos knows how to read the silence, especially when it comes to the people he’s surrounded by most.

That's why he notices how Dazai’s eyes widened.

Just for a second he let his mask slip.

Ranpo has known Dazai for a few years now. They aren’t necessarily close by any means, but if Ranpo knows anything about Dazai, it’s that he will do anything to deter others from seeing the real him. He has a perfectly crafted persona he waves around like a shield, repelling others and keeping them at a distance. He’s good at playing pretend, one of the best Ranpo’s ever met, but even the most experienced actors forget their lines and Ranpo has been patiently waiting to see it happen.

He just never expected it to be like this. 

His green orbs drifted over to Yoru’s slightly confused expression.  

Just who are you?

Dazai lightly graces his hand in Yorus. “I’ve never seen a maiden this fair! Oh Belladonna, would you make me the happiest man alive and-”

“Dazai this is the first and last time i’ll be telling you this, so it would be wise of you to listen up. If you ever ask my daughter to commit a double suicide with you, i will put you on office work for the rest of your days and dock your pay.” Fukuzawa says swiftly, removing Dazais hand from Yoru’s as if it was contaminated with a vicious disease.

“DAUGHTER?” Various detectives say in shock.

“I’m sorry, double what now?” Yoru asks.

“Yes, I was surprised too.” Fukuzawa shares. “I hardly ever thought I'd have children, let alone a grown one living in New Jersey. But nevertheless, it is my absolute pleasure to introduce you to my daughter, Fukuzawa Yoru.” 

“Please just call me Yoru, it’s way less confusing.” she states.

“Hey is he okay…?” Atsushi asks, gesturing over to Ranpo, who stood wide-eyed and frozen.

“Yoo-hoo! Is anybody home?” Kenji waves a hand in front of his face. 

“I think he’s twitching a little..” Atsushi adds worryingly.

“We broke Ranpo!” Kenji cried.

Yosano waves her hand dismissively. “Just give him a minute.”

“WHAT!” Ranpo snaps, making Kenji recoil back.

“Ope, and there it is…” She murmurs

Well, a man can’t be rational all the time.

“You really expect us to believe this random girl is your daughter? Seriously?”

Fukuzawas eyebrows furrow. “Ranpo…”

“Someone’s jealous…” Yosano whispers in a singsong tone, taking a sip of her drink.

“So you go to America for a “business trip” and come back with a daughter. A daughter. Really?” he crosses his arms. “I didn’t think you were in the business of opening foreign women’s legs!”

Yosano chokes on her drink. 

“Ranpo!” Fukuzawa scolds.

Yoru, instead of being offended in any way, burst out into laughter, swiftly apologizing after receiving a look from Fukuzawa. “Sorry.” she apologizes. “That wasn’t funny. Well..” she chuckles. “Maybe a little bit. But that's besides the point. My mother wasn’t foreign… at least I'm pretty sure. I was born and raised here in Japan. She reveals.

“Yeah and you just so happen to be in the same city as my f- as Fukuzawa.” Ranpo retorts as several of the agency members glance to each other, confirming Ranpo’s slip up.

“Uh, no? I moved there years ago?”

“Why?”

Yoru tilts her head in confusion. “Why what?” 

“Why did you move from Japan, duh.” Ranpo retorted.

“Because…I… wanted… to?” she answered slowly and confused.

“Ranpo, that’s enough.” Fukuzawa interrupts.

“Do you seriously think this woman is your daughter? This could be a ploy to learn agency secrets!” he whisper yelled, as if Yoru wasn't standing feet away from him.

 This time it was Kunikida scolding his name.

“Don’t act like we weren’t all thinking it!” he declared.

“Ranpo.” Fukuzawas loud voice boomed through the agency. A voice powerful enough to even placate Ranpo’s rants and loud claims. “These allegations are not only insulting to my intelligence, but to Yoru as well. You have no idea what she had to go through to get here and you have no right to spout such claims.” Ranpo bites his cheek to hold back a retort. “Apologize this instant.”

“But-”

“Ranpo.” Fukuzawa warns.

“It’s fine.” Yoru cuts in, placing a hand on Fukuzawas shoulder. “Really.” she assures. “If I was in his spot, I'd be thinking the same thing.” she rubs the back of her neck bashfully. “I don’t blame any of you for being wary of me, you guys are detectives after all. It’s your jobs not to take anything at face value and to be suspicious when need be. Believe me when I say I am not quite convinced this is just a really bad trip or something and I'm going to wake up in my bed back in Jersey. Sleeping peacefully and not in this mess” 

The agency members all turn their heads to Ranpo, whose eyes are squinted in judgment, waiting for his verdict. 

Ranpo clicks his tongue. “Well if you leave now, who knows? Your bed may still be warm.”

Several agency members groan or shake their heads. 

“What?” Ranpo retaliates. “She obviously doesn’t wanna be here anyway! I’m just stating all her options! She left before, because she wanted to, what's stopping her from leaving now?” 

“The fact that she would be putting all her loved ones in danger, perhaps.” Fukuzawa states firmly. “It wasn’t an easy feat moving back here, but I promised her we’d welcome her with open arms.” His stone cold eyes glare into Ranpo’s “I wasn’t planning on being made a liar.”

“Well I didn’t think you were planning on being an idiot!” Ranpo shouts. “First, coming home with some random girl claiming to be your daughter all the sudden, then revealing that her presence brings danger? Don’t we deal with enough threats from the Port Mafia? We don’t need to deal with another nuisance disrupting everything!” 

“Ranpo, I brought danger to her. Her life was disrupted by me.” Fukuzawa spoke.

Ranpo blinked in confusion. “What?”

Fukuzawa sighed.  “Enemies of mine found out I had a daughter and attempted to use her against me. Enemies who have known of her existence for years and have spent just as long tracking her down. It was an unfortunate coincidence that Yoru and I happened to be in the same city, whereas they used it as the time to strike. It was entirely my fault she was kidnapped and put in harm's way. It is the absolute least I can do, bringing her here to Yokohama with me and making sure other enemies of mine don’t try to do the same.” he revealed.

Ranpo looks at his feet, in shame or in anger, he is not quite sure.

 “Now I am not a fool, Ranpo. I made sure that Yoru is in fact, my daughter, via numerous tests. Even if she wasn’t it’s still in best interest that I make sure that she is not harmed just because others believe she is. I’m not interested in letting anyone suffer because of me, relation or otherwise. Yoru is here and she is here to stay. End of discussion. If any of you have any non-disrespectful questions you would like to ask, you can do it after she gets settled into the dorms. Her first day is tomorrow, I hope i can rightfully assume you all to show her the ropes.”

Ranpos' head immediately pipes up. “What?! She works here now?”

“Yes, hence why introduced her and why she’s staying in the dorms.” he says blankly. 

“B-but we don’t need any more secretaries! The ones we have handle everything on their own!” 

“You’re correct, that’s why starting today she’s a detective of the agency, just like you and the others.”

“What?! But she never passed an entrance exam!” he pleads. “And she doesn’t even have an ability! H-how do you expect her to help protect the agency if she can’t protect herself from getting kidnapped!”

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Yosano retorted.

“That was really mean, Ranpo.” said Junichiro.

“Yeah, and low. Even for you.” Added Dazai, who looked more than ready to chow down on some popcorn and watch the drama unfold. 

With pursed lips, Yoru claps her hands. “You know what?” Yoru starts.

“Yoru…” Fukuzawa warns. 

“No, I'm really too tired for this. I really am.” she states turning to Ranpo. “It’s Ranpo, right?” 

“Duh.” he comments. “This ones a little slow….” he murmurs

She sighs, exhausted. “Look, I don’t know what kind of relationship you and my father have, and frankly? It’s none of my goddamn business.”

His eyes widened.

“I’m not trying to get in the way of that. To be frank, I'm not trying to get into anything. I just wanna mind my business and do my own thing. I’m damn good at that. I’ve been doing my own thing all my life. I've learned to be independent, I never had a choice not to.” she informs. “And none of that changes just because I met Mr Sperm Donor over there.” she points to Fukuzawa, before turning her head and adding a curt “no offense, of course.”

He nods in understanding. “None taken.”

“I don’t suddenly have a need for a father figure, or some daddy daughter relationship. I lost all hope of having a biological traditional family before I lost my first tooth and that hasn’t changed. Yeah it’s pretty cool getting to meet my father after all this time, but that’s about it. It’s pretty cool. I get to ask some questions that I never had answered and I get to learn a few things about me that I didn’t know. In all honesty, I’d rather have lived my whole life without knowing the answer to those questions if it meant my whole life didn’t have to get uprooted like this.” she turns her head once again to Fukuzawa. “Again, this isn’t on you, I am very glad to have met you, I just wish I could’ve done so in literally any other way. I’ve finally felt like I got my shit together, then I'm whisked back here. I don’t know why any of this couldn’t have happened, y’know, when I actually lived here and needed a parent instead of 12 different group homes, but ce la vie, I guess.” she gives an awkward laugh. “Y’know, they told me that you aren’t a real Gothamite until you are kidnapped and or held hostage. I guess I'm a ‘true Gothamite’ now. Too bad I had to leave, huh.” 

Ohhhh. Ranpo thought, clicking pieces together, biting his lip  to hide his smirk. Gotham huh?

“Anyway as I was saying, and to wrap it all up,” she places a hand on his shoulder. “Just because you have a new sibling, doesn’t mean father loves you any less, m’kay?” she says in an almost sickly sweet tone, giving his shoulder two taps as if she was saying ‘go get ‘em’ to a little kid.

“Y’know when Fukuzawa said you would give me the hardest time I thought it was because you were paranoid or something, not that you had daddy issues.” she said casually, throwing her bag over her shoulder. “Out of everyone he told me about, I was most excited to meet you if i’m being honest. He made you out to be this super genius prodigy, but in actuality you are just whiney,” she fixes the strap of her eye patch, “and wrong.” 

She starts to walk past him but stops, remembering something. “Oh, well I guess you were right about something.” she says without turning her head. I did let myself get kidnapped. I went quietly with them to protect the people I care about and innocent bystanders. But I did save my fathers life just a few hours later. Pretty good for someone who couldn’t protect themselves, eh?” 

Continuing on walking, she only gets a few steps. “One last thing,” she said, turning her head around. “I do have an ability, not that it’s any of your business. But I heard that having one wasn’t needed, isn’t that right?”

Ranpo grinds his teeth.

“Fukuzawa can you point me in the way of a shower? Please and thank you.” she asks.

Fukuzawa nods. “Yes, I'll take you to your dorm. All of them are already occupied, so you will be rooming with Atsushi.” 

The weretiger gulped and gave an awkward wave and a sheep ‘hello!’ which Yoru replied in kind. 

Facing the detectives, Yoru gives a polite smile. “It was nice to meet all of you, and I look forward to working with each of you.” she said kindly. “Even you, Ranpo.”

“Let’s get going.” Fukuzawa intervenes from the doorway.

“Yeah, just one last thing!” She turns to Ranpo. “Thanks for the candy.” she said with a mischievous wink, plopping a familiar lollipop in her mouth. 

Ranpo frantically pats down his jacket and pants pocket searching for his lollipop,  because there’s no way she could’ve taken it right? How? 

The sounds of Yosano's cackling and Dazai’s ‘ooooooooooh’ muffle the sound of the door closing but Ranpo could still hear Fukuzawa’s tired sigh of defeat.

“I thought I told you to play nice.” 

Accompanied by a slightly garbled, “I was nice!” then a popping noise Ranpo knew all too well. The sound of someone taking out their lollipop to speak. His lollipop that should be in his mouth. 

“For the most part.”

“Oh my fucking godddd.” Yosano exclaims between choked breaths of laughter. “She is my new favorite co-worker!” She was hunched over, cradling her stomach in one hand and pounding on her desk, shaking and spilling droplets of her drink. 

“She read you like a book.” Dazai comments, looking entirely too pleased with this situation. 

“I wonder if she actually thinks she’s a cow or if she just really likes them…” Kenji wonders aloud.

“Well, Ranpo, I hope this taught you how to not to treat others.” Kunikida states, ‘fixing his glasses’ (that already sat perfectly aligned on his face) in a way that poorly covered the smug grin on his face. “It was about damn time you learned that lesson.” Then, fully registering what Kenji said, he adds “Kenji, I don’t think…” before just ending the sentence in a sigh. 

“She read your ass like a book! Then took your candy!” Yosano cheers, spinning around in her office chair. “She’s my hero.”

Tsking, Ranpo rolls his eyes as he digs into his pocket where his dearly departed lollipop once lied. “Yeah, well she’s not gonna get away with it that easily.” To his surprise, his fingers dance along a smooth glassy surface, rolling it into his hands as he shines it to the light.

A small glass marble, barely the size of his thumbnail, glistened and shined in the light. 

“Whoever she really is.”

 Ranpo was used to staying at the agency until the oddest of hours. He wasn’t unfamiliar to waking up to a dark and deserted office to find out all the others have already called it a day, (they used to attempt to wake him up, but found that to be hazardous to all parties. Junichiro says he almost chomped off his finger, but Ranpo, of course has no recollection of such thing.) but this was the first time it ever felt wrong. 

Maybe because from a legal standpoint, this could be classified as ‘breaking and entering’, but Ranpo has never been much for formalities.

Maybe it wouldn’t be as much of a case if Ranpo had any logical reason as to why he’s here, like if he forgot important case files, his phone or his beloved candy. But no. Ranpo doesn’t know why he’s here. As much as he tries to pin something to it, he can’t. He just knows something is wrong. 

Something much more than Yoru.

Starting with the fact that Fukuzawa had to go Gotham in the first place. The president is no stranger to long out of country business trips, but he at least informs the agency, at least he informs Ranpo, what city he is visiting. Ranpo likes to believe its so that Ranpo can ask for the snacks that are popular in said city, but deep down knows it's because of the respect they have for each other. 

‘Respect I'm breaching my sneaking into his office,’ the angel on his shoulder tells him as he slides open the door. 

‘No.’ he counters back ‘this needs to be done. For his sake and mine.’

Ranpo turns on a lap, illuminating the tiny office in a dull yellow light. ‘I need to find out why. ’

Several ‘why’s in fact:

Why he hid where he was going?.

No, Ranpo knows that. He hid because Ranpo knows that the only reason he’d be going to Gotham is to see Bruce Wayne. Batman. A colleague he has known long before Ranpo, and a colleague he hasn’t heard from in almost just as long. Fukuzawa has shared that despite his perfectly crafted persona, ‘Bruce isn’t the social type’ and doesn’t bother with idle pleasantries. From everything Ranpo collected about Bruce over the years he can confidently say that Bruce is just a smarter, richer, edgier version of Kunikida from their ideals to their self sacrificing tendencies. Which leads to his second ‘why’. 

Why he met with Bruce.

Like Kunikida, Bruce has problems asking for help. It’s obvious from any kind of media you read on him and how he interacts with the other Bats and Birds that he’d rather face an army himself before inconveniencing others, whether it’s for their sake or for his pride. Probably both. So what could be so important that he would have to summon a colleague (who he hasn’t spoken to in over a decade mind you,) from across the globe? What could be important enough to send his only daughter to Japan? Why and how is she important enough to be in the center of everything going on?

Yoru. 

Yoru isn’t ‘technically’ a why, but she might as well be with all the question marks she has surrounding her. It would be easier for Ranpo to list all he does know about her, and even then he isn’t completely sure that his observations aren’t just the facade she’s putting up. Hell, he doesn’t even know if the eyepatch she’s wearing has a purpose or is just trying to push a hidden agenda. 

Ranpo assumes (90% sure) that she is Batgirl given what he knows about the Birds and Bats, which is quite a lot. The vigilantes of Gotham were another week-long fixation that passed through Ranpo a few years back after uncovering Batman's true identity and prolonging the dopamine high of being right (again, of course.) where he barely left his computer. In the end he was in such a rabbit hole that he was watching videos on how to make a Kryptonite bomb. He isn’t quite sure if he’s not on Batman’s watchlist now, but that’s besides the point. The last time he checked Batgirl was a cheery redhead with bright green eyes and freckles and well… let’s just say Yoru doesn’t quite fit the description. But hey, if they’re following a similar path as the Robin title, more than one person can don the title of Batgirl. If Ranpo is correct, Yoru has been playing the role of Batgirl for eight or so years, about the same time as Bruce publicly adopted another orphan by the name of Y/n Wayne. Ranpo never much bothered to keep up with the whole Wayne/Batman crew after his inital hyperfixation (he grew bored. Why keep looking into something you already know?) but he has a slight feeling if he found one of the rare photos of Y/n Wayne online she would have more than a few similarities with Fukuzawas supposed ‘daughter’

That being said, Yoru, Y/n, whatever her name is, has to have known Fukuzawa beforehand. Their interactions are way too..fluid to have been perfect strangers merely a few days prior. His father figure is way too stiff (for a lack of a better word) to be all buddy buddy with someone he just met, even if she was his biological daughter. They just seemed so in sync. Like they know something nobody else in the room does.

Ranpo just can’t believe he’s the only one who sees it.

It doesn’t take ultra deduction to know when people are full of shit.

KERTHUNK

A searing pain travels through Ranpos toe as he awkwardly hops around holding it, silently cursing Fukuzawas stupid desk and wondering since when was it this close to the freakin’ door?! Mid jump, the great detective nearly trips over some foreign object on the floor and almost shatters the expensive vase Fukuzawa obtained from Hong Kong. So much for being discreet. He sighs as he regains his balance, picking up the object, no objects. 

“Fukuzawa’s phone ... .and wallet?” he whispers to himself. I mean that explains why he hasn’t answered any of my calls.  He sets them back on the desk, where they most likely laid before his toe was brutally attacked by the desk. Then out of the corner of his eye, he spots a tiny white slip of paper. 

No, a photograph. A polaroid, in fact. 

Why would Fukuzawa keep a photograph in his wallet? 

He picks it up and he can't tell from the texture alone that the photo has been contained in his wallet for a long time now. 

Suddenly, he hears footsteps approaching the door and quickly slides the photo into his pocket just as Fukuzawa flickers on the lights.

“Ranpo? What are you doing here?” he asks. “Please tell me you didn’t fall asleep here again.”

“I did not!” he pouts. Besides, that only happened, like, once.” 

“It happened multiple times.”

“Okay, but not recently!”

“Last Sunday you called Kunikida to come let you out because you were locked in. It was two in the morning.”

Ranpo muttered something that sounded an awful lot like Damn snitch.

“But if you didn’t fall asleep here then why are you here, Ranpo?” Fukuzawa asks.

“You weren’t answering your phone.” he half lies, picking up and dangling the phone by its corner. “You had me worried.” he says as he gently tosses it to his ‘boss’ who catches it without batting an eye. 

“You are perfectly aware I am more than fine taking care of myself.” he retorts.

Ranpo shrugs. “Yeah, I thought so, but….”

Ranpo knows he shouldn’t, but the words boil up on their tongue, hot and searing, spilling out his mouth.

“this little masquerade you have with batgirl is telling me different.”

The room turns icy and cold, and Ranpo can’t  dare to look Fukuzawa in the face, so he settles for the space between his head and shoulder.

“Just who is she here to protect?” he asks, each word getting more bold and rapid. “What is she hiding from? Who is she hiding from? Scratch that, what are you-”

“Ranpo.”

Ranpo was instantly silenced as a hush fell over the office. 

Ranpo has known Fukuzawa for many many years. Years of ups and downs, joy and hardships, but rarely did Fukuzawa ever use this tone. 

Especially with him.

“I’m going to say this once, do you understand?”

Ranpo stands frozen, in disbelief, in shock. This was the voice he used to criminals, to enemies, to Dazai when one of his pranks on kunikida required poison control to vacate and abandon their entire building for a week, but not him. Never him. 

“Do. You. Understand?” he asks, slow and clear, but with enough edge to even startle the most hardened soldiers of war.

Unable to speak, Ranpo nods vigorously. 

“Drop it.”

Huh? Ranpo thinks.

“Do not investigate this any further. I know it may be hard for you to understand, so I'm putting it in the simplest terms. Drop. It.”

Oh. Ranpo didn’t think he said that out loud. 

“This subject is none of your business. Plain and simple.”

“But-” Ranpo whimpers. “H-How am I supposed to just sit here a-and pretend nothing is wrong? Something is clearly happening and you expect me to look the other way?”

“Yes.”

Ranpo bunches his hands into his coat. “How? How do you expect me to do that? I’m a detective! I'm supposed to learn about all these hidden truths and find out all the secrets!”

“This isn’t a game, Ranpo!” he shouts, taking Ranpo aback. Sighing, and rubbing his temples with his calloused hand he relents. “You can’t always ‘save the day’ or be a hero. Sometimes the most heroic thing a person can do is look the other way and keep their mouth shut.” he said, grabbing his key and phone and turning towards the door before pausing. “I know you don’t trust her.” he starts. “And that’s fine. I can’t make you. But I need you to trust in me this time. I think that’s more than fair after all I've trusted in you.” He slides open the door and sighs again. “If you really can’t fight the urge to snoop, I recommend just asking her yourself. She won’t tell you much but maybe it will quell your worries about her.” 

“Like Batman? I heard people say he’s the greatest detective.” Ranpo comments, setting up the scene

Yoru just shrug, undisturbed. “Some do.” 

“Well what do you think?” 

She gives a humorless, awkward laugh. “I don’t really think I know enough to answer that question? Most people in Gotham have never even seen Batman before, let alone interact with him long enough to test his deduction skills.”

Ranpo shrugs. “Yeah, I guess you are right. But you would.” he states, slowing down to deliver the blow.

“Wouldn’t you, Batgirl?”

Her eyes widen just for a fraction of a second before going back to their normal state. “Hmm,” she puts her hands in her slightly-too-large leather jacket. “I don’t believe there’s an accurate way to measure intelligence.” she said, continuing to stroll, undisturbed.

Ranpos eyebrows furrow. “Well that wasn’t what I was asking.” he informs. “One can be intelligent without having deductive skills.” he said, picking up his pace to match speed with the woman. He has to say, she does look more like a ‘bat’ today than yesterday. Long leather jacket with broad shoulders (probably a men’s jacket. Well worn on some edges, maybe a gift? Most likely have sentimental value), a black mock turtleneck and ripped jeans with black combat boots to match. The only thing that stands out is her weird choice of jewelry. A shimmering  marble-esque belt that catches the light in every step she makes, and a slightly more subtle pendant dangling around her neck with only remnants of shine flaking through when the light hits a certain angle.

“Well in my humble opinion, the best detectives don’t need to go around bragging about their skills.” she shares. 

“It's because they don’t have the skills to back it up.” he retorts. “Like I do.”

“Or,” she starts. “Maybe they are just smart enough to not paint a target on their back.” She briefly looks back at him. “You can’t be the world's greatest detective if you’re dead.”

Ranpo furrows his eyebrows. “W-well are we not gonna talk about how I knew-”

“Hey Ranpo, did anyone ever tell you that you are too loud.” she interrupts, silencing his words that passersbys can so easily pick up. She sighs. “Fukuzawa told me that regardless if the others believed him or not, you would be the only person that decided they needed to say something about it.” she shakes her head in displeasure. “Have you ever heard of the phrase, ‘loose lips, sink ships?’”

“Was I supposed to?”

She sighs again. “Never mind.” a beat of silence between them passes. “Y’know,”  Ranpo looks from the ground to her as she starts. “If you were trying to impress me by finding out our little… ‘family secret’…my brother found out when he was like, nine or so. He has you beauty by quite a bit.”

“I didn’t just find this out, I’ll have you know!” he corrects. “I don’t live in Gotham and never had the need to do anything with that info! I’ve been sitting on it for years!”

Her pace comes to a halt, making him almost run into her. “And what do you plan on doing with that information?” she asks, solemnly and almost cold.

Damn. She might not be biologically related to Batman, but she’s definitely her fathers daughter. Ranpo would hate to be on the other side of an interrogation from either of them and is very glad he is on the side of the straight and narrow. 

“I’m going to continue to sit on it.” he almost whimpers, like a dog scolded after chewing up the rug. “My throne of secrets it’s quite comfortable, actually.”

Yoru chuckles, dark energy fading around her like it was never there. “Good.”

“Good?” he repeats, confused as she picks her pace up once again.

“Yup.”

“You aren’t gonna question me or anything? Just a ‘good’’?

She gives a quick laugh. “Even though you do definitely talk too much, I think you know when to keep your mouth shut when it matters.” she admits. ‘Besides, Fukuzawa trusts you, and I can tell he has a lot of respect for you, so.” she shrugs. “Not much I could really do but say ‘good.”

“Huh.” Ranpo slides his hands into his pockets. “I guess we are in the same boat then, aren't we?”

“Yeah.” she agrees. “I guess we are.”

A pregnant pause settles in, not quite uncomfortable like before,  but one on the balancing line of comradery and understanding. Hm. This must’ve been what Fukuzawa meant. Ranpo thinks.

But, of course Ranpo can’t leave it at that. No, he still has questions. 

“So, uh..” Ranpo starts. “Why exactly are you here?’” Yoru tilts her head in confusion. “I just mean, you seemed to have a pretty good thing going on in Gotham, and from what you said the other day you didn’t quite like living in Japan. If that wasn’t made up as well.” he says, matter of factly with no malice. 

“Shouldn’t you know that, Mr Super Detective?” she retorts, just as calm.

Ranpo sighs. “Fukuzawa said it was none of my business.”

She chuckles. “Well he wasn’t wrong.”

“But..” he continues. “He said if I absolutely felt the desperate urge to know, I should just ask you.”

She gives him a look, one which Ranpo has deduced means ‘seriously, come on’ after the many times it's been given to him, most often by his coworkers. “And he thinks I would tell you anything worth knowing?’

“Nope.” he says, popping the P.

She smiles and shakes her head. “Honestly, I'm surprised you aren’t just looking into it behind his back.” she shrugs. “Given what I heard about you, it shouldn't necessarily be hard for you.”

He pauses his steps, making Yoru step back a few. “Let’s just say I knew the time when it’s ‘acceptable’ to push his buttons and when it’s uh.. Generally not preferred.” he admits.

“You’re scared to disobey him, aren’t ‘cha.”

“Yes, very much so.” he says, continuing on. “Are you gonna answer my question or no?” he changes the subject. 

“Well..” she ponders, debating her words. “Precaution, I guess.”

“That tells me absolutely nothing.” 

She laughs, a real genuine laugh. “That’s kinda the point.”

Ranpo does his best to show a generally displeased face.

She sighs. “A group of very skilled individuals have bounded together to claim something they feel like they are entitled to, and will stop at very little to get it.”

“Sounds very American.” he replies.

“Well you aren’t wrong there.” she agrees. “Several of these members are high players in the west, whether that be in the stock market or on the FBI’s most wanted. We have crossed paths with several of their members, either directly or indirectly and even put some of them away before. They are not to be taken lightly as individuals, who knows what power they have collectively.”

“What does that have to do with us then?” he asks, not  quite sure if he means ‘us’ as the ADA or as Japan itself. “Why do we have to deal with your dirty laundry? It sounds like a you guys problem.”

“You act like we aren’t seven people working from the equivilant of a basement.” she sighs.

“A basement funded by a billionare and equiped with state of the art technology.” he retorts.

“With absoulutely no responsability to be doing what we do, by the way.” she shares. “We do this because we care.”

“Yeah and i’m sure the repressed trauma and a hero complex built from guilt or loss have nothing to do with it.” he states, hitting the crosswalk button

she pauses, obviously caught off guard, (finally) “We all have our problems, Kirby-boy.” she said before crossing the street with the herde of other pedestrians

“Wha-” Ranpo stutters. “What does that even mean?!” he whines, struggling to catch up with his new coworker in the sea of people

“Ask the twinkies you swallowed whole!” 

“Are you sure you can get there by yourself?”

Ranpo sighs. “It’s a one way train and i’m being picked up at the station. I don’t need you to sit with me like a little kid.”

He can tell she’s biting her tongue when she just responds with a “okay.” then she dives her hand into the bag, pulling out a pen and paper.

“What are you doing?” he asks as she scribbles something down. 

“Here.” she says as she hands him the paper.He looks at it to find a string of numbers. 

“I’ll probably regret it, but just in case you have more questions I can’t answer.”

“Thanks.” he says curtly, giving a quick goodbye before making his way onto the train. 

Ranpo finds himself an open seat and settles down, waiting for the train the train to pass the station and blur all the passerbys waiting for their or saying goodbye to their loved ones. Then, when everyone is settled and their focus is away from the oddly dressed detective, he pulls out the polaroid he kept in his pocket since that night in the office.

He runs his fingers down the browned, crippled edges, processing a memory from moments past.

Yoru’s past, to be exact.

 The photo presents two near identical young girls cuddled up together in a bed, sleeping peacefully. One lays protected by the other, arms and legs wrapped around in almost a shielding position, while the other laid more stiff, arms decorated by various wires, but still clearly leaning into her sisters loving embrace. Ranpo coudn’t help but feel a wave of perversion looking at this photo, from the lens of himself, the viewer and from the lens of the photographer, who in neat red handwriting wrote ‘Angels’ above their heads, and their names underneath them ‘Kanako and Kazumi’. Quickly flipping it over and out of his eyesight, he sees that the photo is dated just about fourteen years ago. 

As old and as creased as the photo is, Ranpo can’t deny that the little girl, one of the little girls is Yoru. Given the state of ‘Kazumi’ he can only assume that Kanako grew up to be the women he just spoke with minutes before. 

Shaking his head and swallowing the lump of bile coming up his throat, his shoves the picture deep into his pocket, fighting his urge to burn it.

Fukuzawa was right. 

He really should’ve minded his business. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If you couldn’t tell, i’m really trying to push my Yosano and Ranpo sibling agenda. They may not be siblings by blood, but sure will clown each other like they are

If you have any questions or comments (I love comments <3 the make me more motivated to write!!!) don't hesitate to let me know!

[noxiatoxia]

Ummm first of all can I just say how much I fucking love your blog??? Ur brand of ouran themed bullshittery is ✨✨ immaculate ✨✨ and it's harboring empty space in my brain like a stolen jewel stg. also it is so fucking cool to see a fellow hikakao shipper out there in their morning glory like I just fucking shdudjdenkskaanhsuehdbn.. i've recently gotten back into my old ouran obsession and looking around the hikakao portion of the fandom all I see are a couple of tumbleweeds out of my peripheral rolling across a long since vacated dirt road like what the fuck its so hard to find people as in love with these characters as I am and I NEED to talk to any person ever about it or I will go insane. I just??? Have so many thoughts and feelings??? And I have a shit ton of aus and theories and monologues if you're interested :)

sidenote, but I also wanted to say that I LOVE your art style!! I love how simplistic but recognizable it is? It's hard to explain but it's just so visually appealing because it's detailed in all the right ways like seriously it's great :)) I need art tips so bad rn and ur stuff is straight BITCHIN like you can anatomy?? Hoowwww?? :'''))))

Anyway ur blog is basically the musical doodle ear worm to me except instead all I can hear is the shissou beginning guitar riff

THIS IS SO FUCKING NICE....THANK YOU!!!!!!

It's actually really interesting how many people have come to me about this, about being one of the Only active ouran posters esp hikakao. and like. im honored. hikakao is like the grandfather of twincest and i am so honored to carry the torch forward. yes i am 2 decades late to the party but hey i am with every fandom. and i like it that way tbh, i like being in a small fandom and just making connections with other people who share the same intense passion as i do with a goofy series. so ur message means a lot!!

ALSO YES I'D LOVE TO HEAR YOUR HIKAKAO THOUGHTS OR GENERAL OURAN THOUGHTS THEY OCCUPY MY BRAIN 24/7 PLEASE......PLEEEEASE.....

LIKE. there are SO little hikakao content and tbh theres barely ouran content IN GENERAL and when there is its tamaharu which FAIR I UNDERSTAND WHY i love those funky dudes but....gimmie our roots. i wanna see hikakao and hanimori. TAMAHIKAKAO??? everyone sleeps on that ship. i know most people wont do the two former bc #incest and its not 2007 deviantart anymore but i will not back down. i am in the yaoi war fighting on the side of unhealthy codependency.

also i'm siper thrilled you like my art!!! that's very flattering you find my art style recognizable! anatomy is hard that is for fuckin sure and tbh ive been drawing my whole life, so a lot of it just comes with time. i can give you some tips if you'd like, but really, everyone is different. every artist learns differently, draws differently, and there's no one correct way to draw a picture.

something that really helped me get better at art is to make an "art inspo" folder on your phone, laptop, or a discord channel in a priv server. when you come accross art you really like or find useful to study, save it. maybe you like the style, or how the colors blend, or how an expression was drawn. maybe the artist drew a really good arm or a difficult pose. save the art and study it and learn from it. this helps me immensely personally as i am a very visual person. i learn best by doing, second best by seeing stuff visually laid out in front of me. im sure youll nail it one day!!!!

[magicluckystars]

hii id like to request a matchup as i see you’re doing them! id prefer characters from twisted wonderland or enstars, i dont really play obey me. umm for my personality i feel like i’m an ambivert, more on the introvert side! i’m very reserved for the first few months of meeting but i can really open up fast depends on my mood or the environment! i dont talk much and am not a sappy person either mainly due to not being very great with words. i like to think that i’m funny but i laugh at almost everything i’m starting to doubt it…i enjoy helping others with tasks and such! i’m indecisive so having someone who can make quick decisions for me in those moments r great if i really like u i will be a little mean at first but after a while i think im very nice and will even take initiative which i dont do often. i think an important thing too about me is if i don’t really have anything in common with a person it’s very difficult for me to talk to them. i dislike small talk because i feel like i’m too awkward for that. despite me being more of an introvert, i get lots of energy being around people but also lose the energy a bit fast too.

a few things i like are bats, lamps, fashion, music, games, art, plants and learning about space. I also enjoy watching movies and baking. also, i’d like someone the opposite of me, someone who uses their words. i’m the type of person to overthink things if they’re not told to me. or if i’m told to do something i need detailed and specific steps also bc communication is #1 in my book. Also i really enjoy learning about people. If i’m interested in someone i will try to learn every single little fact about you. Especially if they’re a closed off person at first like me it makes me all the more interested in knowing more.

umm i really don’t know what else to add so that’s all i have to say i hope i didnt put too much! idk if you reply w/ the request or use anon names/emojis so if do use names my names lin. do take your time and i hope u have a great dayyy

First of all, I'm sorry this is so late! I don't have any excuses, I was just lazy 🥲 I'm gonna match you with a twst character if that's okay!

lin, I match you with...

TREY!

He finds it cute how you laugh at almost everything. You help him in the kitchen for Heartslabyul's unbirthday parties so that the freshmen don't offer to help...if you've read Trey's dorm uniform card, you know...

Pretty sure Heartslabyul students have to be well-versed in gardening to be able to take care of roses, so he would be open to talking about gardening too. Trey finds it kind of weird how you ask him so many questions, but after you explain he's glad you opened up and want to know more about him.

Trey has younger siblings, so he understands your energy levels around people. He can read body language well cough* riddle *cough cough* so he quickly finds a way to excuse both of you from the situation.

I also get the feeling that Trey's good at making decisions, so you don't have to worry about that.

He will prank you. 100% guaranteed. If you believe the oyster sauce thing, I am confident he will bake two pastries and ask you to guess which one's sweet.

👏NETFLIX👏AND👏CHILL. That's your ideal date together. Please stop this man from putting Riddle's needs ahead of his.

Overall, a very soft, very cute relationship. Riddle doesn't mind you, you're not as rowdy as the Adeuce duo (aka you don't give him a headache), Cater will DEFINITELY take lots of pictures if you've announced you two are dating (even if you didn't, he'd still ship you).

Sorry, this was a little short. Hope you enjoyed it!

[houseofbtss]

siblings pinch each other every time they see a yellow car

do you have brown hair?

YOU HAVE MAJOR TUMBLR energy

Mission accomplished

no one ever says You look so nice - you look so nice 

im struggling to find red flags

You have a song request to make?

can’t listen to Marjorie without crying

privileged i got to see you today

can I volunteer?

i still feel bad about being late im sorry

tell me more i wanna know

would love to see you again

btw i really wanna see you again probably coming off too strong can’t help it

wouldn’t you feel like you’re cheating? get a cat

say hi to her for me

I will destroy you, (step count) respectfully

I feel like it’s rude to assume

scoring me w five diff coloured pens

paper origami baby’s breath 

your eyelashes are beautiful

girlie time/comfortable silence

I’ll outsay it so you don’t feel bad about you saying it a lot

you’re someone I want to please like I want you to like me

winning the apology count rn intending to keep it that way - cause (I’ll out say it so you don’t feel bad)

she will loooove you

I know sounds weird I’ll explain later - doesn’t sound weird but yes will love an explanation

we havee to go walk there once

dad was trying to convince himself mom will be fine and not sick at the birthday party

whatever it’s not imp - no it is important.

downloaded all seasons cause you said it’s close to your heart how else can u sell it

i keep zoning out because of how pretty you are not because you’re boring

do you not curse i feel like I’ve never heard you use any curse words

please don’t look (opens notes app)

*pushed me to the inside of the road a million times*

I think you look great I was gonna wait to say it but yes

you have great skin whenever my hand brushes against yours I’ve noticed

was kicking myself for not saying it you looked really lovely today

on the first date your hair kept coming on your face and you were tucking it back and it was v beautiful

I have a crush on you you said something and we’re laughing and then I thought I really like her

oh no palakkkk you failed the test

can I see you for some time I really wanted to see you

what is your hair care routine haha

do you wanna eat oranges together?

if you want me to push you to share things you can tell me I can do that too

tied my shoelaces 👊🏼👊🏼nooooo

I was telling mumma about you and political view was the last check list item

can I hold your hand for a bit

what are your three fav things about yourself wanna go till five?

DEE BEE TOWER hahahaha

guys do you think she’ll appreciate it or…

i like unimportant details

make plus or star shape on the mosquito bites it helps

purple flower in the wallet

I’ll tie it for you (tied my shoes laces aaaa jail🫢)

someone said something v nice and I wanted to tell u I feel so good about it

circles is a very boy cat name

hyper independent bro hahahahha (forgot my keys at brownie place) - 15 mar

insider info great night

insider info not a single red flag

spent an hour looking for cat vids to share w me

love my perspective on small things details

love that I think of small things so deeply

DO YOU HAVE A book list to buy send it asap

ran around in the store looking for things I’d like hahaha

ur so pretty w my hand picture / been missing u text

tried to edit the picture w film effect but remembered how I was talking about how red my hands are haha so decided to not put it on kept it as it is

down bad - indeed

good night sleep well talk to you tom miss you

too intense but it’s like going back home

I wrote you a letter in the cab omw there / need to clarify it’s not an apology / is it okay if I see you for five mins tom

will u give it to me yes ofc it’s for you only

i kept thinking i did something will she tell me please tell me

i wanted to put that song because it has such a calming opening and being w you feels like calming piano chords

double negatives this has never come up ever before

if an alarm doesn’t go off in my brain that’s how I know

85% but it’ll only go up and not backwards

that song is v you ngl

will be on tumblr soon that’s my game

you had two things to tell me

i love when you talk about chestu sometimes i miss him hahah

i said i hope i could go wish them a minor setback and he laughed so much so nicely haha

i think you look wonderful objectively also you look nice

I suddenly do feel reenergised hmm interesting hahahh

I love listening to your voice

palak liked your message the only relevant notification ever

called me to ask if I want something sweet for tonight hahahahhaa being known is being loved moment

anany came and walked all the way back w me from maninis place to keep me company 🥺🫢

I kept asking what are you thinking about when you make those small eyes he said those are my she’s so perfect eyes

are you cold? holds hands in an effort to try and make them warm

he said I knew on the khichdi day and asked do you wanna say hi to my mom

I will not say it unless u say it first/ until you say it yourself

i wanted to ask in a non pressurising and a somewhat meaninglful way and not use the labels so you wouldn’t feel weird about it at all

you have such beautiful hair

you give off v she is her (like that girl)

you look wonderful (I had oil in my hair looked like an egg)

got a hug held hands on the head (daters for two days 26 mar)

can I have one last moment of downbadnessss please*7 come to collect tom hahaha

my sleepy girl 🥺🫢

friends were saying he’s smiling and talking to palak hahaha

she’s too cool to be scared

gave me a football jersey aaaa

said if it was any other day I would stay in but I knew coming here would make me feel better which is insane to me

made a song request in the canteen aaa jail

got me some water I mentioned I had not had any NOOOOO

did u just call me hot cool that’s cool

27 mar : said I love talking to you not in this context in general

29 march: missed you v much text but happy yearning not crying missing

30: insane I stayed I saw two notes one for all the dates and one for things I’ve said paraphrased haha (there was so much to remember)

talked on the phone till 4 are u kidding me- it’s not just information I have enough empathy to not treat it as info

at the end of the phone call just stayed silent for a min and said gn <3

can I please please help it’s not an inconvenience to me i promise

my personal note: i never miss anybody but these days

went on such a nice date went for dinner then walked around for super long tried candy ran a race!! held hands for so long

i love it when you laugh - canteen 8 april ate food together talked for so long

on a walk I was holding so many things he kept taking everything from me so it’s less inconvenient for me - our one hand to be free in case you wanted to hold hands

(in viman - I will write a song about you one day)🙄

can’t hide anything weird a letter too intense yest

tell me something nice not about me oh I thought about you immediately cause that’s what nice means for me - think about running in a -ve sense always but yesterday thought running towards me

had sm fun watching new girl listened to music and said how pretty it’s unfair and small eyes/call by name/while drinking water - all same info but can’t tell

16- said that by 4:30 everything was done in case if I wanted to step out in the evening

16 April new girl indoors day - so nice to have a best friend

17 - was thinking about a routine and when to talk once we are home

also ‘lovee your laugh if I can contribute even a little bit to it im v happy’

the trees were looking greener

on a walk at night I was looking at the moon resting my head on the shoulder, it was so peaceful

and ‘need to listen to music always doesn’t come up the silence is so nice’

20 april : lily litter/dinner/met a cat/running letter/metro ride to the dins/ walk on the bridge felt like city of stars a lil bit/ you are in love taylor in auto way back home/ got desert at 11:20!! ate near a car in circles area haha/ someone was playing teri jhuki nazar cosmic truly

- tell me nice things: face structure hahah/ consistency of my routines admirable

- talked on the phone on the roof in the evening for so long a lot about friendships writing then said i like listening about your troubles and v admirable how you deal w everything when in crisis then talked about beautiful world and found out i have a slightly diff tone when i talk about it haha small things

- said her face is covered what will i do looking at you and anany agreed 🫢🫢 and was like what will i also do looking at myself i also wanted to look at me hahahaha

1:25 am - i called to say gn ended up talking so much for so long v sweet overall for insider info (voice sounds adorable want to watch a movie sit next to u give the biggest hug) I said cosmic how they played the song god in the moment (i just remembered said love u goodnight)

can i see you giving your exam

I’ve never used the word sweet sm before ever I think

went for a walk spontaneously- you’re so warm energy wise

can we walk to college together - time changed to 11 am is that okay yes I still want to go

a friend knew i called & he said i just see the smile and that’s how they can tell 🤦🏻‍♀️

17 may anany said he was walking around our area it was completely dark & thought maybe all the lights are gone because I left ;(( nooo

read something about grinning

came home came to my room and said can i please get a passport size picture of you i will keep it in my wallet nooo he’s too sweet

june - pretty streets in blr always make me think i want to walk here w palak

you have the face card you’re gorgeous that helps

you have a huge piece in my jigsaw I will consider you in a decision like that

do you want a social media presence bf hahahah proceeds to send sky pictures on ig the next day

make a list of things to do - look at the sky hahahha

pinterest picture - u have changed me gently unknowingly with your love

22 June - very much I really do

10 July - anany surprised me in the metro w flowers

metro rideeee I’ll think about it for a while for sure

13 July made a star on my mosquito bite at 2 am haha cute

can u keep the window open i have motion sickness my being loved is being known moment 💌

sorry I didn’t get a jacket 🥺 haha- on my way to the movie screen

held the ☂️ for me like that pinterest post

are you wearing red? I can see you - you stood out I’ll never forget how you looked in it

can I have a glass of water hahaha <3 changes accent mid conversation

16 July - gn 🍯 hahah

8 aug - I really really really wanted to talk to u I was praying actually hahaha (never prays) then said god is real haha

my strict wife haha

so so so much palak

13 aug - wrote down a line someone said at the orientation cause I might like it

asking people to do laundry I said I’d directly marry & said I know what my next moves are

come home to me

20 aug - left leg loved ones and thought of me cause im also family

24 aug - tell me what you end up eating!! (asked twice)

26 aug - spoke for soo long happily after so long, if I’m 25 and not talking to you romantically involved then that sucks. the absence will be huge

yes ofc honey

I wrote it down to tell u

we get one 29 feb every four years I made this one so eventful

28 aug - i will get cherry blossoms for you when the season begins

who knows theyre gonna bloom at least after 6 months

possibly not until 2030 haha

(went home and played ek pyaar ka nagma hai) how sweet :(

sometime in aug said the red kurta looks very hot really like it

the pictures look so good thank u for allowing me the privilege to see them

31 aug spoke from 4:30-9:30 then said in the voice note I was excited to go back to my room and call u hahahahah

also took screenshots of so many of my pictures on ig 🤦🏻‍♀️🫢

1 sep sorry for so many texts i miss u dearly

wrote a tumblr note saying my gentle surrender

19 oct- palak will you say my name?

22 oct - midterm went really well wanted to tell u lag jaa gale/bade ache lagte hain

nov - new girl thought of you and your mom

30 dec - you know how i know? i remember. I remember small things you said unconsciously. who even says that you don’t say it out loud.

- you know how I remember you - those 6 months were like what I wrote about the beach house thing on tumblr. like floating actually.

invisible strings - tere bina, i saw someone’s name saved as what rads used to call anany in aditis phone (feb), yellow car inside our car circles lane

[aforrestofstuff]

Chapter 173 Expert Review: The "Hey, my boyfriend saw you across the bar and we really dig your vibe" Edition

The cover makes me so uncomfortable it's like I'm at a party and said something weird just as the music went quiet and everyone heard and they're all looking at me and everyone hates me and I'm so anxious and

Welcome to the Chapter 173 Expert Review! I have completely lost count of how many of these I've done. If you're coming here for a well-thought-out meta-commentary on the hit series franchise anime manga One Punch Man, then look elsewhere because I put a grand total of ten minutes of thought into this post that took me 45 minutes to write.

I hope you're all well. If you're new here from Twitter then yes, I'm really always like this and I apologize. I don't know how to segway to the actual commentary, so um......... here we gooooooo.....

I don't know what I was expecting. Could I have predicted that Murata would yassify Bofoi? Probably. Do I ever want to come to terms with the fact that he did? No.

Shut up I'm not saying anything. I'm not saying anything. I'm not. He looks like he's wearing those really oversized dentures at Party City. His head looks more like an egg than Saitama's. Why does he still look kinda.... no I'm not gonna say it. I'm not. I'M NOT. GET OUT OF MY HEAAADD RAAAAAAEERERARAAAAWW

I'D FUCK HIM!!!! I'D FUCK BOFOI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M TIRED OF PRETENDING HE'S NOT AN ENDEARING SORT OF UGLY OK IM SICK OF IT!!! I'M GONNA DESTROY HIS OLD MAN CERVIX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANNA FUCK HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How many enemies has Saitama made just by existing already. Is this number three? Sonic, God, and now Bofoi? Oh, well, I guess Saitama did fuck up his robots but that was self-defense 100% and it WILL hold up in the court of law.

Oh, okay. Now we have a better idea of the timeline since Saitama became a hero.... only two months???? Dude, I've had packages lost in the mail for longer than that.

I kinda thought he'd been a hero for at least six months. I guess what Garou said about coming back to fuck up the heroes after six months at the beginning of his arc was only a sort of red herring to make it seem like he'd be the world-ending Shibabooby prophecy, but in relation to how long Saitama's been a hero, turns out my guy only fucked shit up for like, what? One month?

Was this just obvious to everyone else except me. I really should've never learned how to read dawg.

THANK YOU Amai Mask for being the "Please explain the plot so readers with the comprehension skills of fourth graders can know what's going on" character in this because I swear to fucking god I had no clue what anyone was talking about.

Also, Ninja Leader makes an appearance as Blast's totally super platonic partner. Supposedly they were "searching for a mysterious cube" together. People these days make up such weird euphemisms for skipping work to fuck each other in a ditch, I swear. 🙄🙄🙄

A couple of things:

Is Blast wearing the Ninja Leader's glasses in the present? Oh, so they really were super platonic, huh.

You mean to tell me bro aged THIS MUCH in two years? 700 days ago he was late-twenties rager at Planet Fitness and now he's a 57-year-old salt and pepper daddy at the gay bar?

I guess it could have something to do with his powers, manipulating space-time and all that. Blast teleports through something that is basically a copy-and-pasted black hole, which could explain why time flows differently for him, but doesn't time slow down near a black hole? So he should be aging slower if anything.

So, did God age him? Is this even the same Blast that came in contact with God? Something something uuuhh time travel something something...

I don't fucking know. This could also just be a case of "Murata doesn't know how to draw people that look their age" although he's been getting better about that, at least... Just seems ODD to me that Blast has aged like an avocado in a manga where characters only seem to look younger as time goes by.

Very noble that he's fighting God alone with the Interdimensional Justice League and their Pocket Dimension Pool Table to protect everyone else. Something still feels fishy about this, though........ especially since he's a deadbeat ass dad in the webcomic. I don't trust a GODDAMN thing this boy has to say. I DONT CARE IF HE'S HOT!! And I think that is so brave of me.

Forrest has a theory and everyone's gotta hear about it a million times until he's proven otherwise.

Y'all already heard me say how God has one-sided beef with Saitama because Saitama broke the limiter God had placed on him, and I suppose that alone is still a decent reason for God to be pulled to Earth, but I still think God's full body (and power) is imprisoned in the dimensional seal Blast was screaming about as Saitama was fighting Monster Garou V2.

And Saitama's habit of fucking shit up as collateral for saving the world is further eroding God's jail cell, so he's unknowingly helping his enemy get closer to him. This fucking goober.

It makes sense because the massive body in the seal looks like a fully-formed person, whereas whenever we see God free, he's always a sort of unfinished skeletal figure. He's incomplete.

Is this another one of those things where it seems painfully obvious to everyone else except me. Y'all are free to hop in my inbox and call me a dumbass if you want.

Final thoughts because this review is already too goddamn long and I wanted to shitpost a bit more but I guess I can do that on other posts because I'm TIRED.

All in all, we really needed a good expo-debrief chapter to put everything in perspective because the Monster Association arc was a load of reveals with not a lot of resolutions. I think the ending was still very anticlimactic because, although we were introduced to a lot of shit like God and Blast and whatnot, none of that was really tied up in a satisfying way, nor left on an interesting cliffhanger. Just more and more questions. Even Garou's arc hasn't ended really, and all the development he and Saitama had gone through was forgotten (for NOW, because of Genos' core, but I digress) so it almost feels like... not much really happened at all. Nothing really ended, it was just a collection of more plot threads beginning.

I wish ONE waited a bit longer to really delve into God and Blast because I think the Monster Association arc could've been a lot more comprehensive and well-paced if it had just been (mostly) contained to what was happening between the heroes and monsters. But I can appreciate how comprehensive the plot is now after the fallout, just... the road to get here was rocky. I lost all the tires on my jeep.

I'm excited for Psychic Sisters.

In conclusion: if you were at the Whole Foods down the street and took a blue bike tied to the railing then you're a fucking bitch GIVE IT BACK!! THAT'S MY FUCKING BIKE!!

GIVE BACK MY FUCKING BIKE!!!!! YOU STOLE MY BIKE!!

p.s. -- I'm still waiting for the Zombiedad and Child Emperor Get Milkshakes Together omake. Murata, pls. Also give my bike back.

Thanks for reading. Please, I need my bike.

[teddy-the-teddybear]

"What did I do!?"

Luke Hughes x twin sister Dylan duke x reader

×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

Its been a week since Dylan has talked to me. The worst part is that he has been to class and that he had this girl around his arm. How could he tell me that he had feelings for me, but then goes off with someone else?!

I was walking to my dorm when I saw Luke and Mark walking towards me. "Hey! You should come to the house we're watching a movie" Mark said making me stop.

I was trying to think of an excuse, "sorryyyyy... I can't i have to study for my test coming up" I ran away from them before they asked any questions.

Once I reached my dorm room, my roommate was sitting on her bed on her laptop, "speak to Dylan yet?"

"No he won't even look in my way, I tried waving at him, but his new toy glared at me" I flopped on my bed.

"I can trap him here for you, I'm going to a party tonight. Invite him over to talk, or please message him", she climbed off her bed to go get ready.

"I messaged him already and got nothing back!.. well he read it"

She sighs, "then at least do something tonight, please. I don't want you here moping"

I rolled my eyes and sighed, "I'll go.. but if I see Dylan, then I'm leaving"

She nods and threw a dress at me, "I'll help you escape... and no duker? Wow never thought I see the day that you'd call him his first name"

I just nodded, "well if he doesn't want to talk then why give him the time of day, you know?" She nodded then finished getting ready with me.

Once we got there the party was already in full swing, I made my way to get me a drink, I needed to feel numb.

"Little hughes!", someone called me from the kitchen, I looked around to see Luca. I smiled, I've always been so close to Luca.

I hugged him, "how are wooka?" I pulled away and started making my drink, he grabbed a beer, "im okay, miss my partner in crime'"

I laughed, "yeah, I know the boys miss you being late to practice because you wouldn't wake up", I suddenly felt like I was being stared at, but when I looked around there was no one I could see.

"Yeah coach is suspicious that I did something bad" he joked, "hopefully he doesn't find out about the store incident", that's when I started dying of laughter.

He smiled and lead me to the couch, and anytime I asked for a drink he would get it for me. I think in a different reality Luca would be my soul mate, he'd save me from all this heart break. But atlas I'm in this situation, and Luca and I have no love for each other like that.

I sat there thinking again, Luca had been pulled away to play beer pong with luca. I was pulled out of my thoughts when I felt someone sit down next to me. I looked over and saw Dylan. I went to get leave when he stopped me with, "I see you moved on with Luca."

I turned towards him, "moved on? You mean him being my friend? You mean being there for me when this dick was leaving me on read?", I turned around and walked away.

But he stated to follow you me out, once we were outside he grabbed my arm, "you don't even know the full story"

"What do you mean I don't? You're right, I don't! But you never tried to explain it either, but instead you went around and fucked this blonde."

He just shook his head, and turned away. I couldn't take it anymore, "what did I do!? You pretend to like me one moment but then next you are acting like i didn't mean anything to you! Is that what you wanted to toy with my feelings?"

He just looked at me and opened his mouth a couple times and then closed it. I stood there till I couldn't and just turned around and left. When I got back home I started to get ready for bed but then I quit and sat on my bed till I burst out into tears.

Taglist-

@woodruff-edwards

[user9715467]

hiii I love all your writing! it really makes me feel some type of way 💖🥲 I was wondering if you would be willing to write something about y/n feeling like her friends are using her (to get to harry, $$$, or for clout) and Harry is comforting y/n. Or something like y/n feels left out at a Hollywood party with all of Harry’s friends?

im going thru a rough time with my friendships and kind of feeling lonely. no pressure though 💖 thank you for being a source of joy during this time 🥺🫶🏻

Hi babes! Thanks so much for your lovely message 🥰🥰 and I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. I’ve been where you are. It hurts no matter how you try to rationalize it. Please know that my inbox is always open if you need a friend, or just to vent. I hope this little one shot helps somehow. Let me know what you think! 💗

—

She plumped down on the barstool, tucked away in the shadowy corner of the room, letting her feet dangle and hover over the floor. Those heels were killing her. She glanced across the room, scanning the crowd of faces for Harry’s comforting eyes. He was standing in between Jeff and some really old guy in a suit, the grin on his face slowly growing until his dimples appeared. At this distance, she had no idea what he was actually saying, but she liked to imagine that he was telling a joke, judging by his face, that’s usually what he looks like when he’s laughing at his own joke before he’s even reached the punchline. She was glad to see that he was at least having fun. Because she’d be lying if she said that these kinds of events felt fun for her.

Tagging along to these parties increased her sad and admiration for Harry. It always made her proud to see him in “work mode.” This wasn’t even what he normally does for a living. Giant parties like these were usually hosted by the record label, designed to make really rich, really old people feels important enough and respected enough to convince them to invest their buckets of money into musicians’ tours. Someone needed to pay the insurance companies, purchase the bands’ equipment, pay the crew, and fund the millions of things -big and small- that went into carrying out an entire tour. Learning this gave her a better understanding of why, to make it in an industry like this, you need more than just a pretty voice and a little bit of hard work. But as proud as she was of Harry, she couldn’t help but feel like an outsider in moments like this.

Harry always wanted her to feel included, so he would keep his arm hooked into hers, introduce her to his team and investors, and whisper any background information into her ear to catch her up to speed. She loved witnessing first-hand how he was good at remembering a CEO’s 4-year-old daughter’s favorite cartoon, or how he complimented an ancient rich lady on her brooch. She found his ability to make everyone feel important to him weirdly attractive. But, when Harry and his friends would so quickly fall in and out of industry talk, making inside jokes or using technically lingo, she often found herself feeling weird. Like she was an anchor weighing him down. His constant need to keep an arm around her waist, or to explain a joke to her, or rephrase something in a way that she would understand, it made her wonder if he wouldn’t be more present in the moment if she wasn’t trailing behind him, so she found a quiet place to sit and admire him from a distance, hoping he’d be too engrossed in his friends’ conversations to notice her absence.

She pulled out her phone to check the time. It was almost midnight. She could pass the time by scrolling through her phone, but it would honestly just make her more miserable. Scrolling through Instagram posts of people that felt so far away would just hurt.

Perhaps this whole thing wouldn’t be on her mind if things in her own friendship were different. The truth was that some of her most important relationships have felt nonexistent lately. Which made her more conscious of how she related to people. Often even wondering if she had some invisible flaw that she’s failing to see, or if she was too stubborn to realize that she was unintentionally pushing people away. It felt like her relationship with Harry had altered the way that people saw her. Friends that she had had for quite sometime, and honestly thought would hold on to forever, were now gone without a real explanation. It was like they’d decided on her behalf that she no longer needed them. They began acting different around her, gradually growing colder and more indifferent. It was difficult to come to the realization that, if they would treat her this way, maybe they weren’t really friends in the first place. Maybe they only liked having her around to make them feel better about themselves and seeing her happy, successful, and in a relationship with someone like Harry was doing the exact opposite of making them feel good. So, they no longer had any use for her.

She felt a lump form in her throat. At least ending friendships in this way was better than the opposite. The people who’d never actually liked her, never treated her with any respect at all, and never bothered to hide their feelings about her suddenly “reconnecting” with her because they found out who her boyfriend is. How did things get so fucked up and why hadn’t she noticed until it was too late?

“There you are!” The feeling of Harry’s soft lips kissing her cheek yanked her out of her spiral. “How’re you, darlin’?” He smiled, grabbing the stool next to her and ordering a drink. He still had a smile on his face and seemed to be giggling to himself.

The look he was giving her forced her to smile back. “What’s so funny?”

“Oh, it’s- it’s nothing Mitch was just telling a funny story over there.” Harry chuckled at the memory of the encounter. “Anyway, where’d you run off to? I looked behind me and you’d vanished.”

She waited for a moment, considering just telling him the truth but she didn’t want to burden him. He was clearly having a good time. And he’d earned it. He’d been working so hard lately; a night out with his favorite people is what he needs. Besides, she liked that Harry felt comfortable enough to introduce her to his friends and bring her to industry events. She didn’t want to make him feel bad about it.

“N-nowhere, I- my heels are just too much. Probably should’ve worn a different shoe tonight.”

Harry’s brows furrowed. “Oh, I’m so sorry, baby. Wanna go home?”

“Oh- no, no. Don’t worry about me. I’m good just staying right here. You go, have fun.”

Harry wasn’t having it. She should’ve expected it. He wasn’t the kind of person to just abandon her after she’d admitted to being in pain. Instead of going back out there, he brought the party over to her. Within minutes, Mitch, Sarah, Pauli, some assistants from the wardrobe department and a few drum techs were gathered around her previously private corner. They’d ordered some appetizers and sat around telling stories from past tours, making plans to visit the landmarks and hidden gems of certain cities they were touring, and recalling the time someone had intentionally re-tuned Mitch’s guitar and fucked up his string-matching.

For the whole night, Harry’s hands were on her thigh, glancing at her in between conversations and casually kissing the top of her head. She felt selfish for not having fun. After all he does for her, and after he’s forced everyone to hang out at the bar so she can be included. She still felt like an outsider looking in. What the hell was wrong with her?

The ride home was quiet. Harry asked her if she wanted to take her shoes off and stretch her legs but she’d just hummed a quiet “no,” looking out the window of the passengers seat to avoid his eyes.

She stood in the bathroom, getting ready for bed and trying to shake the feeling of intense isolation that had clung to her. She wished she could wipe it off the way she’d just wiped off her makeup. Maybe if she just went to bed and started fresh tomorrow?

Harry called her name “come over here and give me a cuddle alreadyyyy.”

She made her way to the bed where he’d been plopped, reading a book as he waited for her. The goofy smile on his face disappeared as soon as he saw her. “What’s the matter, baby?”

“N-nothing.” Her voice betrayed her, already breaking. It’s just that the softness of Harry’s voice and the concern in his eyes threw her off. The tears that she’d been pushing away all night were now stinging the corners of her eyes, threatening to spill over.

“Not nothing.” Harry asserted, reaching for the side of her hip and gesturing for her to come closer.

“It’s dumb. Please just forget it, Harry.” She pressed her palms to her eyes, wiping the tears away.

“It’s not dumb if it’s got you this upset, honey.”

“I- I just wish-“

Harry said nothing, his eyebrows shoot upward.

“I wish I wasn’t so lonely all the time.”

Harry felt his heart split in half at her words and the simplicity with which she’d said them. He wondered how long she’d felt this way. If the feeling just rolled off her tongue like that, it had to have been sitting in the pit of her stomach for a while.

“Lonely?” Was all he could say.

She just nodded, tears now unashamedly rolling down her face.

Harry was now replaying all the conversations that he’d had in the past few weeks where she seemed to jokingly suggest that she was fundamentally in likable, or that she was too rough around the edges for friends to want her around, or that she hated people so much that she hardly left the apartment anymore. How could he have been so blind? He knew her well enough to know that when she made self-deprecating jokes like this, it was usually because she believed them to be, at least partly, true.

“W-why?” He cleared his throat, hoping to sound more like an adult. “What’s made you feel so alone?”

She shrugged, finally pulling her hands away from her face and shifting nervously on top of the duvet. “Just don’t have any friends anymore, Harry.”

“What do you mean? You’ve got plenty of friends!”

“Name one.”

Harry wracked his brain. “Well there’s Je- okay, fine? What about Sa-“ he was stumped. Every name that came to his mind was a friend of his that had, by extension, gotten to know her through their relationship.

She could see the wheels turning in his head. “Exactly.” She huffed.

“Well, what about people at work? That nice lady, Melanie? You seem to get on really well. And, besides, you can share my friends!”

She rolled her eyes. “It’s not like I don’t know people. But those superficial relationships only make me feel worse. They just remind me of the connections that I’ve lost. I don’t- Harry, I don’t wanna have perfectly mundane conversations about the weather, or what I did over the weekend. That’s not what I mean. I just- I miss the kind of connection where you could text someone your random and extremely niche take on a specific topic that only you care about. Or call someone cuz you’re bored and want company. Or make spur of the moment plans. Or vent to without worrying if they’re secretly judging you for talking too much. You know? The kinds of things that you can just build overnight.”

“Intimacy.” He said simply.

“Yeah…”

Harry said nothing. He pulled her into his side, letting her lay her head on his shoulder and blink her tears away as he squeezed her shoulder.

“I’ll be your friend!” He said suddenly breaking the heavy silence.

She laughed, the chuckled disrupting her sobs. “Thanks, but, I think I like what we are.”

“No, I mean, like, sometimes you date someone but you can’t really talk to them about stuff. You know? I’m saying you can talk to me.”

“I just- I don’t know why it’s so hard for me.”

“Baby, it’s not your fau-“

“Don’t! Don’t say it, okay?”

“But you know it’s true.”

“It makes me feel like a bad person to just say that they’re dumb for not wanting to stay friends. Somehow I’m the perfect Angel and everyone else is wrong for leaving me.”

Harry said nothing for a moment. He could tell she firmly believed that and convincing her wasn’t going to be simple. Plus, he didn’t want to interrupt her as she finally let things off her chest. After he was sure she was done speaking, he started again.

“I’m not saying you’re perfect. Nobody is. We all have our flaws. But people who really care about you wouldn’t give up on you when things get difficult. Friendships only work if both people are invested.”

“What if- What if I’m just not good at this? What if people leave me because I’m not a good friend?”

“Bullshit.”

“Harry! I’m serious.”

“So am I! You care, and you’re so kind. And you’re fun and gracious and-“

“Then why am I so alone??”

Harry kissed the side of her head gently.

“I get what you mean.”

“No you don’t. You’re surrounded by people who love you all day everyday.”

“Yeah, but that hasn’t always been the case. I felt really lost and alone for years before all this happened. You know? After the band and all?”

“Hmm”

“It was hard.”

She just nodded silently listening to, taking his words in, letting the sound of his voice comfort her.

“Just can’t change who you are to make people want to stick around. You’ll lose sight of what matters to you. Even though it hurts to let people go.”

“It does.”

“I know baby.” He nuzzled his nose into her neck. “But you’ll meet the right friends eventually. Ones who won’t take advantage, won’t be threatened by your light and love.”

“I hope I do. This is exhausting.”

“Let me help. Hmm?”

She finally turned to face him, locking her lips into his, causing him to hum into her mouth.

“You always do, Harry. Everyday.”

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

@flat-neines i know its too late now but ask and ye shall receive

As a disclaimer upfront, this is is not the place to go for actual information on german political parties. If you want actual information heres the wahlomat website where you can answer a questionaire about your political opinions and itll tell you which political party most closely aligns with them, and they also have each party's stated goals all written out in an easy-to-comprehend way 👍 (the wahlomat for the upcoming elction isnt out yet so I just linked the one for the last Europawahl) alright moving on, fair warning, this ended up being. long.

Tamlin voting for Die Grünen: Die Grünen [The Greens] to my knowledge are basically the most popular most left-leaning political party rn which is pretty alright, could be a bit better but could also be a lot worse. A lot of internet-leftists dont really like them but I'd rather have them than one of the other big parties tbh. Theyre pro-immigration, pro-queer rights, pro-pretty much all the progressive stuff, but their main thing is environmentalism and climate change advocacy. Im gonna be real with you, Im pretty sure I was just free associating with this. In my head tamlin is The Green Guy so I was like "oh of course he'd vote for The Greens". And then for some reason I felt that I needed something else with a better justification behind it, so I was like "well, one of Tamlin's big things is (or was, in acotar 1) that he just uprooted everything that his forefathers did with no regards for tradition, so he would probably vote for a political party thats new and not very well-established yet"

Feyre and Nesta voting for some party that only gets 5%: okay so, for this one Im gonna have to try and explain, at least a little bit, how the german government works and how votes translate into power for the parties and unfortunately for you, I find this all incredibly confusing, so if youre genuinely interested in how this works, go find resources by people who know what theyre talking about. Essentially, in order to run the government, you need a majority (either over 50%, or 55% or 60% i forgor) of the votes, but since we have a lot of political parties its basically impossible for a single party to gain that many votes on its own. So after the initial votes are cast, all the big partys that got a lot of votes get together and negotiate coalitions, and those coalitions get funky names based on the combined colorscheme of all the parties to make it easier to tell them apart. Like our current coalition (which isnt gonna stay our current one for too long) is the Stoplight Coalition because it consists of Die Grünen (green), the SPD (yellow) and the FPD (red). These coalition guys are the important ones that you need to pay attention to and be worried about. But then theres also other guys who are in the parliment who can do also do stuff, I think ? This is the part that Im really really shaky about, but I think the way it works is, if your party isnt in the coalition, you can still put some of your guys in the parliment, but the amount of guys is proportional to the percentage of votes your party got. So like, if you got 5% of the votes, you get to put one guy and then it goes up as the percentage goes up, and you cant put anyone in if its less than 5% because that equates to less than one guy. Again, take that with a big grain of salt, and if Im wrong about this please correct me

Anyway, this is essentially a very roundabout way of saying "I think Feyre and Nesta would both vote for the parties that represent their views the best even when those parties consistantly dont get enough to do literally anything, I dont think they believe in strategic voting or any compromise in this regard". I didnt have any specific parties in mind for either of them because I dont really follow those more 'obscure' ones

Elain voting for the SPD or FDP: SPD stands for Sozialdemokratische Partei Deutschlands [Social-democratic Party of Germany] and theyre pretty close to the center but lean a little to the left. I dont know a lot about their specific stated goals, I think theyre broadly similar enough to the other left-leaning parties but more willing to compromise with with parties that are further right (although that might just be their chancellor candidate/current chancellor Olaf Scholz specifically, that guy is kinda infamous for having no backbone). I already explained why she would vote for them.

The FDP is the Freie Demokratische Partei [Free Democratic Party] and theyre ostensibly closer to true centrists, or as I like to call them, the right wing's cowardly allies. Theyre decently popular, not enough to lead a coalition but they a high enough percentage of votes that other parties are willing to agree to a coalition for the sake of gaining power. Then once the government is all set, they just kinda do their best to block any proposal thats considering leftist or whatever, which, with current coalition, is basically all of them. So theyre functionally just preventing the government from doing fuck all. And I was like "Elain seems to be someone who just kinda passively floats through life doing fuck all (atleast rn), so I think she'd love that". But then, inbetween me writing the original post and me writing this, I checked the news and I found out that there was a plot from the FDP to basically make the government collapse on purpose for ??? reasons? I mean, it was an attempted powergrab, its always an attempted powergrab. Basically, Christian Lindner, an FDP-guy with a pretty important position whose name I unfortunately forgot (not that it matters bc hes lost it now lmao), and I think a couple of other key FDP-guys were planning to all quit at the same time while the chancellor was out of the country to essentially make the government collapse overnight and then spin a narrative that would be beneficial to them. Olaf Scholz apparently caught wind of this and just fired him first, although at the time the reasoning he gave was just that Lindner was constantly blocking proposals that he didnt 'really' have a right to block due to a lack of knowledge in the things he was messing with, which impeded the governments ability to actually do their job, this whole thing Christian Lindner wanting to quit on purpose only came out later. Another thing that came out later is that they planned all of this via a powerpoint and also they had to release the powerpoint itself which is wild but Im not gonna get into all that. And idk, thats just really funny to me in the context of this post. Elain, wild card queen, voting for an active threat to our democracy. Actually, I think the only people who are gonna be voting FDP now are the most politically ignorant people in the world, and I'd say that seems in character for her

Rhysand voting for the CDU in the past, then for the SPD or Die Grünen: okay so, the CDU (Christian Democratic Union) are the party that was essentially in charge of the german government for a long time because people kept voting for them because their chancellor candidate was Angela Merkel and people (that is to say, the average people who arent necessarily well-informed politically) really liked her. Then she retired and whoever replaced her had way less charisma and everyone realized that their policies kinda sucked so people dont vote for them as much, also, they entered some kind of permanent coalition (?) with another christian party that sucks way more ass, but that doesnt matter for this argument. Really, none of this is all that relevant to the question of "who would these acotar characters vote for during the coming german reelection if they were real and could do that", the reason Im telling you this is that I want to tell you about a particular genre of annoying american that Rhysand reminds me of. So, Merkel is a woman in a high position of power who doesnt spend all her time advocating against women's rights, and that automatically makes her super progressive according to america. I remember back when she was in office and back when I was on reddit regularly, specifically on american political subreddits for some reason, having to read a bunch of american conservatives being annoying about her but then also having to read a bunch of liberals being annoying by being like "yea they hate her cuz shes so progressive" when its like NO!! The only reason you jokers think she or the CDU are progressive in ANY way shape or form is because america is such a backwards ass country that the simple act of being a cis woman in politics gets you labelled progressive, because the average conservative believes that women should be seen and never ever heard unless theyre actively making a career out of undermining their own rights! Anyway, Rhysand gives me the vibe of those american liberals and its very important to me that you know that

Moving on, I dont remember why exactly I said he would vote for either SPD or die Grünen. I do remember that my first thought as to who he would vote for was the AFD or Alternative für Deutschland [Alternative for Germany] which is the far right party, its ideologically the same as the republican party in america with most of the differences stemming from the fact that germany and amerca have very different political landscapes. Because I was like "well, one of their biggest things is their staunch advocacy for stricter border control as well as germany distancing themselves from the EU (and like, idk if they stated that they want germany to leave the EU outright but its pretty obvious to me that thats what theyre building towards) and one of the first things we learn about the Night Court in acomaf is that no one goes in, no one goes out and in general it seems like theyre doing their best to act autonomously without 'relying' on any allies", but I originally made this post very soon after complaining about americans assigning their favorite and hated characters political parties for the sole purpose of elevating or demonizing themselves or fans of the character they hate, which is fucking stupid because these book are ideologically conservative, its like saying Nesta would be pro-palestine when these books were written by a zionist, so I felt that it would be hypocritical of me to then be like "yeah, tamlin votes for the powerful progressive party (which is the party that I'll also be voting for if youre curious) but Rhysand votes the extremely far right party". Also, the more I think about it the more Im like, I dont think Rhysands governance is bad because of his actual ideology I think its bad because his ancestors sucked and he just didnt feel like making any big changes. Yknow, "dont assume malice when incompetence is more likely" and all that. And because of that I ultimately stand behind my decision to assign him Guy That Votes For The Previous Guys In Charge.

Cassian either not voting or voting for Die PARTEI: he just doesnt strike me as someone who would be all that invested in politics if he was a normal guy in the modern day instead of a head of government in fairyland. I mean frankly he doesnt seem invested in politics as the head of government that he is in canon which really sucks for all the people hes technically in charge of but. whatever. Die PARTEI is the Party for Work, Rule of Law, Animal Wellfare, Promotion of Elites, Base-Democratic Initiative and their acronym is also translated as The PARTY. Theyre a satirical political party thats broadly left-leaning I guess? One of their party leaders stated that its better for people to vote for them than right-wing extremists so thats cool ? Idk man, i first encountered these guys in 2018 when their ads started getting plastered all over my city alongside the normal campaign posters and I thought they were literally just shitposts by people taking the piss out of political campaigns in general and I was quite surprised to find that there was an actual party attached to it, and that party has always been extremely dubious to me. Like, idk how to explain this without having to show some of their posters, but I was actually pretty surprised to find out that they were a left-leaning party. But some of their advertising does get a chuckle out of me occasionally and I think it would get a chuckle out of Cassian too and thats reason enough to vote for them. Also, I feel the need to clarify this because it raised some red flags for me when I first read it, when they say they stand for the "promotion of elites" (or "Elitenförderung" in the original german) they mean that they want to promote 'non-elites' becoming 'elites' ie becoming wealthier and gaining acess to better education, not further promote already existing 'elites'

Mor voting for the CDU in the past but voting for the SPD at present: I feel like i dont really have to explain this one at this point, also Mor just strikes me as someone who votes for whatever her family votes for so

Amren not voting: she just clearly does not gaf about participating politics. if germany ever implements mandatory voting shes voting for whichever small party seems the least popular

Azriel voting AFD: i said this mostly because hes racist as hell and specifically I feel like hes like, actively racist, you know what I mean? Like, Mor is obviously also extremely racist but I feel like she doesnt usually think about Illyria at all, its just that when someone else brings up shes like "yeah they should all die", Azriel seems like he's actively thinking that all the time and will say shit like that with no prompting. Also, I was looking at this list and I realized that I assigned basically everyone very liberal-moderate parties and I was like "it would be very funny if I ended this post by being like 'and azriel votes for the neonazi party 👍'" so thats what I did 👍

you know, rereading that post pointing out how america-centric this who would vote for what discourse is made me think how funny it would be to do that with german poltics. and topical too bc we're gonna have a relection in february due to the sudden collapse of our government

uhhhhhhhh i guess Tamlin would vote grüne. Or maybe like one of the newer less established parties like volt or something. Feyre and Nesta both vote for parties that only get like 5%. Elain just votes for whoever was the last party in charge which would be spd in this case. Or maybe fdp since shes so damn passive. Rhysand wouldve voted cdu back before angela merkel retired because he thinks its very progressive that they had a woman in charge, but now that shes gone..... i guess he would also just vote spd, or maybe grüne too since theyre said to be more progressive although their main thing is like environmentalism and i dont think he cares about that. Cassian either doesnt vote or votes die PARTEI bc he thinks theyre funny. Mor also used to vote cdu back when they had angela merkel but now theyre sliding a little too far right for her, so i guess spd it is. Amren doesnt vote. Azriel votes afd.