#if you know me i was actually not excited about college i actually didnt even wanted it

[liyatime]

“ spread your legs ” . . | ˙✧˖°📷 ༘ ⋆｡˚ (enjoy!)

📷 pairing ; mark lee x tm!reader

📷 genre ; smut

📷 cw ; male x transmale/cuntboy intercourse , cursing , kissing , cunnilingus , fingering , c in v sex , vaginal descriptions , raw sex (wrap it before you tap it!)

mark lee , one of the smartest kids on your college campus not only happened to be a top student but he was also your boyfriend of a strong 3 years.

he spoils you so much you dont even know it like buying your lunches for you , paying for your dorm rent , and all around spending a ton of money on you. mark also spoils you by taking you on car rides , he drives you multiple places without asking for gas money and often takes you on trips , like today. he called you out to the parking lot during a fairly busy day saying that he wanted to eat out with you.

you walked out the college building with your tote bag on your shoulder that was filled to the brim with books and your laptop. you were on your phone looking for places nearby to eat at when you looked up and saw mark’s navy blue hooded convertible and him waving at you.

you did a light jog towards his car and leaned onto it giving him a peck on the lips. “i didn’t bother you? calling you out of class like this?” he asked unlocking the car. you walked around to the passenger side and got in , “not at all , i’d tell you if it was a problem. honestly i’m kinda glad i got out of there.” you said smiling. he smiled back and started up the car , “i found a place already, it’s not far from here.” mark said , backing up his car and getting on the road.

on the way to the place mark picked out you guys joked around and laughed , talked about school stuff (which was honestly kind of boring) and listened to music. both your music tastes were diverse but you guys enjoyed critiquing each others choices. you guys also looked at the menu of the place and decided ahead of time what you guys should order , most of the options looked delicious but what matters is how it tasted , mark's the only person who's been here before so he told you to wait and that it'd be a surprise.

the both of you soon arrived at a restaurant-type establishment , with the awkward name of it that you couldn't pronounce it must've been french or italian or something.. but before you could step out of the car mark grabbed your hand and locked the doors , "hold on.. i gotta tell you something," he paused and put his fist over his mouth before trying to explain "— i actually brought you here for something else." he said with nervousness in his voice , "you know we haven't been able to like.. do it because were busy , so i brought you to this uh.. place , because if we did it on the college campus a lot of people would find out and i really wanted to try car sex and i didnt know how to tell you and like—" "mark. it's fine , you could've just told me." you said laughing, "you're such a nervous wreck when it comes to sex like we haven't done it before , but in a car? im excited." you said.

"so this is okay? You're right though , i should've just told you.." mark facepalmed. "I told you its fine mark , if anything you made me really horny , having sex in a parking lot feels exciting." he blushed at your words. "really?" "yeah!" you replied "we should.. get in the backseat then right?" he asked. "yeah.." you two were awkward about this , but mostly mark because he thought you'd think he was weird and gross for wanting to have sex in public and tell everyone on campus , so now that you admitted it made you horny he got excited and was ready to fuck you so bad. mark and you lowered the front seats forward so you'd have more room in the back and then hopped in , immediately jumping to making out.

mark ran his hands all over your body , but he was OBSESSED with your waist , he loved holding it especially when he felt jealous or possessive. you smiled as you kissed him. you both slowly moved into a laying position as he unbuckled your belt and unbuttoned your jeans to gain access to your pussy through your boxers. he threw your jeans on the center console along with your belt and and began rubbing your clit through your boxers , feeling how wet you've gotten in the past minute. you moaned and held onto the door behind you , "fuckkk..." you stretched out the word at the feeling of him toying with you , slightly lifting your hips. he soon removed your boxers and looked at the color of your pussy , admiring how it looked when it was soaked in your juices. he placed his hands at the back of your knees and pressed your legs to your chest then licked a stripe up your cunt and placed a wet kiss onto your clit.

you cried out in pleasure. whenever mark ate you out it was amazing , you're the first partner he's ever had with a vagina but he knew exactly what to do. he must've been studying up for your sake. top student on campus , top student at eating pussy. "is this good?" he said , rubbing his thumb up and down your folds. "yeah.. keep going.." you responded out of breath from moaning. mark reached over to his glove box in the front and pulled out a packet of lube , ripping it open with his teeth and spreading it all over your cunt and his fingers. "take a deep breath (m/n).." he said , sliding his middle finger into you slowly and thrusting it in and out. you threw your head back and gripped the door handle , moaning out your boyfriends name and whimpering. "it's alright baby , i got you." he said , leaning over and giving a tender kiss in which you melted into.

mark inserted a second finger into your sopping cunt , "you're so fucking wet.." he said before dipping down and having a make out session with your clit , running his tongue over it and flicking it with his tongue. "mark im gonna cum.." you said biting your lip and putting your hand in his hair. this only made him suck on your clit harder and faster. you couldn't take the pleasure anymore and came so hard , a clear liquid shot out your pussy and onto mark's face and seats. he slid his two fingers side to side on your cunt as you let loose and immediately went back to eating you out. you were so sensitive and he was so hungry.

mark lifted his head back up and started unbuckling his belt and discarding it , taking the rest of the lube in the packet and spreading it all over his cock. he looked at you like he was a fox and you were the rabbit he couldn't wait to devour , his cheeks were red and he was sweating from his forehead. he slid his cock over your clit and between your folds and gave you a hard kiss , rubbing his tongue against yours and pulling on your bottom lip with his teeth. "mark.." you said , reaching your hand forward and rubbing his cock again your entrance. he smirked and took his cock , slowly sliding it into your entrance. your eyes rolled back but before you could let out a moan he took it out teasingly. you honestly werent having it. "put it in..!" you said , rubbing your clit and looking into his eyes. he laughed and inserted his tip back into your cunt , doing this a couple more times until he snapped his hips against yours and started thrusting into you at a fast pace.

mark replaced your fingers rubbing your clit with his thumb as you moaned his name and let out a whimper each time his hips met yours. the only noises in the car were grunting and the sound of skin slapping against skin. "fuckkk (m/n).." he groaned. he watched as your eyes rolled back into your head and you lifted your hips up so his thrusts were angled directly towards your prostate , your head fell onto the car seat and you gripped his arms. "im gonna fucking cum!" you exclaimed. "fuckin' squirt again for me.." mark commanded , after he said that you immediately squirted all over his dick as he pulled out and rubbed your clit. he then put his cock back into your pussy to help you ride out your high. "s..shit.." he stuttered , pulling his dick out and cumming all over your glistening cunt with his mouth wide open. mark was panting and so you , you were both wet and sweaty making the car smell like sex. he'll definitely need to air out the car and buy air fresheners for future purposes.

mark leaned down and made out with you , tracing the sides of your face with his palm and holding you by your waist. "we need to have car sex more often.." he said smiling. you giggled at his joke and held him close , eventually having to let go. "we should go to our dorm and get new clothes.. they're really wet.." you said. "Lets go." he agreed , giving you one last peck on your cheek before putting his soaked clothes back on just for the ride back.

lets hope nobody questions why he smells like that when he walks through the halls.

c/n: HI IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK LONGER THAN I SAID TO PUT OUT! my job has me busy and im still buying furniture for my home , im going for a modern look so i gotta save up and work hard to get what i want!! i noticed i improved in my writing, especially when writing smut because i used to skip the prep parts and it was so bad 😭 . im a virgin so writing smut is a struggle but im always on tumblr so reading others smut fics and studying up on anatomy and how sex like WORKS was a big help to me. i still suck at dialogue but practice makes almost perfect! i hope you guys enjoy this work more than my others, cuz they really suck lol. 💙

[saebaragi]

so i had a panic attack plus an existential crisis saturday, then yesterday i cried at the college fair and this morning i'm stressing over my health and the college thing

[flnpushy]

Classic Story...

all birth stories

My old Story: Anna's Birth Struggle Anna had recently graduated and was college bound. Being 18 was fun for Anna and she enjoyed the graduated life. Her boyfriend Tom was also looking forward to college as well, but the two would be separated as they had been accepted to different schools. On the final night before moving away for school, they spent the evening together. Alone. Three months had gone by since the two had been together. Things were going well for him, but no so well for Anna. She was sick most mornings, and just felt off. A couple more weeks went by before she finally called her mom. She told her about her morning sickness and other symptoms. Her mom asked if she had taken a pregnancy test. To that she answered “Are you nuts?” “I’m not pregnant.” A few more days passed, she finally gave in and took a test. The test said she was indeed pregnant. She didn’t believe it so she took another. Same result. She called her mom in disbelief. “Mom I’m Pregnant.” Anna said. “OH my goodness....” Her mother replied. “What about school?” She asked Anna. “I don’t know mom, I don’t know what to do.” Regardless her mom was actually very excited, but Anna was far from excited. She had waited years to go to college and now it was all at risk. She visited the doctor where they confirmed she was about three months along. Much to far to go back now. Anna Couldn’t believe it. A baby? She didn’t want to have a baby! She then had to let Tom know. She didn’t know how he would react. She was very nervous making that call. “Tom, Its me, Your going to be a dad.” Anna said. There was a brief silence on the line.... “Oh my god are you serious?!?” He said excitedly. “Are you mad.” Anna asked. “Of course I’m not mad, Im absolutely ecstatic.” “Why would I be mad Anna, Its my fault your pregnant!” He said. “Oh thank god your happy.” Anna said. “What about our schooling?” “Its ok Anna, we will make it happen no matter what, I’m here for you!” Tom said. Most days Anna had morning sickness and other issues. Pregnancy was not easy for her. Anna was a petite brunette. She was small overall. She has a small frame, tiny arms, and she was only 5 foot 2. She was still just a girl in reality, but she now was going to become a woman faster then she had ever imagined. She continued her studies as best she could. Eventually the ninth month had arrived. Annas belly was like a basketball protruding from her body. Anna knew she would birth at home as this was her wish. Her mom Mary had been preparing thier home for months. Everything Mary could afford to get she got in preparation for the birth. Finally summer break arrived and a very pregnant Anna returned to her home, and Tom did to. One morning Anna awoke early to pains in her belly. This wasnt unusual for her as the baby frequently moved around in her belly causing discomfort. These pains were different however. She felt around the top of her belly. She could feel a little baby foot squirming around within her. Anna was grossed out by the babies movements, she didnt like the idea that a baby was inside her. She was ready to be done, ready to give birth and be back to being a normal girl again. Anna prepared a breakfast and joined her boyfriend Tom on the front porch for a Saturday morning conversation. Tom asked how Anna was doing and knew that she was in some type of pain. “I think it may be happening.” Anna said “Ok honey, lets get things ready.” Tom replied. Tom prepared her bed with clean sheets and comfortable pillows. He also layed out towels in the bathoom and on the bed to catch fluids during the birthing process. A couple hours later Anna was in real pain, labor had begun and her belly squirmed wildly as the baby moved toward the birth canal. The contractions were sharper and shaper and it wasnt long before Anna was really hurting. She layed sprawled out on the couch, trying her hardest to bear

through each contraction. She was wearing a light shirt, bra, and panties. She fought the pain as best she could, but still yelped in pain with each contraction. Tom had read up on birth and was going to school to be a doctor. He figured this would be a good training opportunity.

“My poor baby girl.” Tom said, sitting beside her. Anna continued to struggle through the pain. Anna entered transition, this was the worst pain she had ever faced. “Oh my god, oh oh oh, help me, ahhhhhhh” Anna yelped. She continued her struggle. Till finally transition had ended. The baby was now low in her belly and engaged in her pelvis. “Ok its time to check your cervix to see if you can push.” Tom said Anna sat upon the bed and Tom inserted a finger to check Anna. “Good girl Anna, your right on the money, 10 centimeters!” “So now what do I do?” Anna asked. “Time to push that baby out hun!” Tom replied. “Im scared.” Anna said. “I know baby girl, but its so close to being done now.” Tom said. Anna endured another couple of contractions. She was ready to get over to the bed, but the next contraction brought a tiny gush of fluids. “Whats happening!?!” Anna shrieked. “Your water broke baby, The baby is coming now!” Tom replied. Anna and Tom went to the bed, Anna waddled as it was so strange to her having so much pressure between her legs. They arrived at the bedside. Anna took off her shirt, bra, and panties, then climbed into bed. “Wow look at my beautiful baby girl” Tom said. “You are so beautiful.” “Ok how do I do this.” Anna asked. Tom put several pillows behind his pregnant girlfriends head, he put an absorbent pad under her butt as well. “Lift your butt baby.” Tom said as she slid the pad underneath. “Ok now we wait for a contraction and you push.” Tom said. “I will teach you how to push.” Tom stated. Tom put a finger in her opening. “Feel my finger?” Tom asked. “Yes.” Anna replied. “Ok when a contraction comes, your push like your having a bowel movement right at this spot.” He said “Ok” Anna replied. It was time to put her newly acquired knowledge to the test. A contraction came. “Ok baby, pull your legs up toward your chest and push like your pooping.” Tom instructed. Anna pulled back her little legs and pushed. “Grrrrr.” she grunted out. She then stopped. “Good girl Anna.” Tom said. “Hold those pushes good and long.” Tom stated. Anna pushed again. “mmmmmm grrrrrr ahhhhhh.” She grunted hard. The contraction ended. “Good girl baby!” Tom said. “Now relax.” “How many pushes will I have to do?” Anna asked. “Could be a few minutes, could be a few hours babe.” Tom said. “A FEW HOURS!” Anna yelled. “Yes baby, pushing a baby out is a long process. Your young and small, The baby has to stretch you out to get free.” Tom said. “You will be ok. Just breath and relax.” Another contraction came.

“Ok baby girl, here goes.” Tom said. Anna pulled back her legs and grunted. She pushed good and hard this time, curling her little toes in protest of the pain. “Good push girl! And again!” Tom said. Anna pushed again and again till the contraction was over. “Ok babe, lets see what we can see.” Tom said. Tom used both hands to open her opening. He poked around a bit. ‘“Ok girl, heres a contraction, push hard.” He said Anna pushed with all her strength. “Ohhhh!!! We have something here!” Tom said. “I see something!” Tom said again. “We have a little baby head!” “I wanna see the baby!” Anna said. Tom grabbed a large mirror and placed in in front of her, she then pulled back her opening once more. “Ok push hard and watch the mirror” Tom said. Anna pushed, in the tiny little back of her opening a tiny spot of hair was visible. As the push stopped the spot went away. “Where did my baby go?” Anna asked. “Back in your tummy.” Tom said. “Why in my tummy, I want her out!” Anna stated. “Birth is a two steps forward, one step back process baby. The baby will come out a bit, then go back in a bit, remember she is stretching you out so she can get free.” Tom said. “ I want her out!” Anna said. “Honey, she will come out, you have to push her out. “ Tom said. Anna dropped her legs as the contraction ended. Tom grabbed more pillows as it was a struggle for Anna to push and hold her legs open. He put pillows under Annas legs to support them. Then another contraction came. Anna moaned as she pushed, she struggled and quivered. Her perineum however was starting to bulge a bit with each push. “I’m uncomfortable.” Anna said. “Change positions honey, you have the whole bed.” Tom said. “Try side laying, I’ll support your upper leg when you push.” Anna slowly moved from laying on her back to laying on her side. Her cute little Belly touching the mattress. Another contraction came. Tom supported her upper leg as she began to push again. Anna dug deep and bored down with all her strength, the perineum slowly bulged outward. As the push ended the perineum bulge disappeared. The contraction continued so Anna pushed again. Once again the bulge appeared, and then slowly disappeared as the push ended. “Good girl Anna, your making her move in there!” Tom said. “With every push your helping the baby escape from your womb.” Tom laid down first and let Anna lie down on his lap. He did this to comfort Anna and help her push the baby out. The mirror was positioned so that Anna and Tom could see the progress. Little did Anna know this was just the beginning of the battle. Another round of contractions Hit Anna. Assisted by her boyfriend she began pushing again. Anna drew back her legs and let out a push. She curled her toes as she pushed, her Tummy shook and quivered as she pushed hard to free the baby. Her perineum bulged as she continued to push the baby. The next push brought the bulge out further. It was becoming evident that the baby's head was close to the opening. A few moments later another push came over Anna. She strained and struggled, but her efforts were awarded. She pushed again, the perineum bulged farther this time. Anna continued to struggle, however she was about to be rewarded. As in her vulva, a tiny tuft of hair protruded. “Good Girl baby!” We can see that little Head! Tom said.

As the push came to an end the tuft of hair receded from view. The contraction ended. Anna relaxed in between the waves. Less than a minute later the next contraction started. Tom assisted Anna in drawing her legs back. Anna pushed with all of her strength. The tiny tuft of hair appeared in the opening once more.

“Reach down and touch the baby.” Tom said Anna reached down with her hand, and for the first time touched her baby's head. “Ewww its slippery and gross!” Anna said. Tom just laughed. The next contraction started. Anna Drew back her legs once more and pushed. The baby's head became slightly more visible this time. However as the push ended the baby's head drew back inside of Anna’s tummy. She was so close, but yet so far. When pushing she could see her baby, but the battle was far from over. “Ok baby girl, the next stage is the tricky one. The babies head will fight your perineum to get out. When you push the head will come out, but when you stop it will roll back. The perineum skin will hold the baby inside of you. You must overcome this skin to get the baby out.” Tom instructed. It was time for Anna to dig deep. Her baby's head was stuck in between her legs, and only she could free it. It did not matter how much assistance her boyfriend gave her, it was totally up to her to give birth to the babies head. Anna knew that Tom could not pull the baby from within her. It had to be done on her own. The next contraction came. Anna's Little body strained as she began to push. Below her belly the tiny baby Head was starting to emerge. It seemed so much more fluid in her. The head was more responsive to her pushing now. Even a tiny push had a reaction on the baby. Tom layed behind her and watched the action unfold in the mirror. He was so proud of what his girl was doing, and slightly aroused. Anna pushed again which revealed the baby's head once more, however as she stopped the head receded back in. The battle between baby and skin had begun. Every push moved the head into the opening, but at the end of every push the baby went back inside of Annas tummy. The battle continued. Anna pushed down hard, the baby responded this time, and the head protruded quite far. However with the end of the push the baby went back into her tummy. Anna made tiny moaning sounds as she pushed hard to free her baby. She needed a position change to see if she could push the head free in a different position. Lying on her back was obviously getting her nowhere as the baby continued to go in and out. She once again switched to side lying. Tom supported her upper leg as she pushed. The baby's head came into view then slowly rolled back in as Anna stopped pushing. The little baby head was not coming anytime soon. It's almost as though the baby preferred Annas tiny little Tummy. Anna continued to struggle, but the babies head remained firm in her. It had now been two hours since Anna began pushing. She had made good progress, but the babies head was still within her. The baby had made an appearance several times, but refused to stay in the opening. Anna's Young perineum skin just was not allowing the baby to come forth. Anna was becoming desperate. She wanted the baby out of her badly but no matter how hard she struggled the head would not come free. Still on her side she began to wiggle her tiny hips back-and-forth. “Good girl Anna. Move those hips, it may help her out.” Tom said. “Follow your instincts.” Anna resumed another push. As she wiggled her hips back and forth the baby's head started to make more headway. The tiny tuft of hair head become the top of the babies skull. A tiny teardrop shape was starting to happen. Anna's perineum skin was finally starting to stretch. “Good job baby girl, wiggle that tummy and get that baby out!”Tom said. “Uhh, uhgrrrm, ooh god, mmmmm.” Anna moaned as she pushed. Anna was getting tired And frustrated. It was time for an all out massive push. “Im going for it.” Anna said. “Hold me open.” Anna waited for the next contraction to set in, Tom held her opening below to allow more space for the babies head. Anna breathed in any gathered all of her strength. She dug her feet into the mattress, strained as hard as she possibly could and let out the biggest push she had

ever done. She wiggled from side to side as she pushed. The baby's had came far into the opening. The furthest it had been yet. Even a small portion of the babies forehead was visible. However at the end of her massive push, the babies went back inside the tummy. “Wow honey, I was for sure that would have her out!” Tom said.

“I dont think I can get her out.” Anna stated. “You can honey, I will coach you.” Tom said. Tom began the coaching. He came around from behind her to assist the perineum in opening. “Ok baby, hard push.” Mary said “1 2 3 4 5... “good let go.” Tom continued coaching her for another 15 minutes. The baby's head continued into yo-yo action. Slowly coming visible with the push, and receding back in with the end. Finally after a few more pushes the head was starting to come forth far into crowning. Even though the baby's head was starting to crown, at the end of the push the head was still receding into Anna's tummy. Tom continued to coach his girlfriend, but the head refused to come free. The perineum skin was still fighting to keep the baby inside. No matter how hard Anna pushed the baby continued to recede in at the end. Tom assisted her by pulling back the skin as she pushed. Anna was taking a real working over and Tom knew that she would soon tire to the point of exhaustion. “I cant get her out.” Anna said. “Ive been in the same spot now for 45 minutes and the head is still stuck.” “I know baby girl, you have worked so hard, your perineum is just so tight.” Tom said. The babies head remained in the vulva. Visible, but not able to get free of the perineum. “Help me, I cant get her out.” Anna wailed. Anna began to doubt, she had worked so hard, but with no avail. Tom had doubts as well, seeing his poor girl struggle was starting to make him wonder as well. They took a break for a few minutes and regained composure. “Help, help me.” Anna said. “There is nothing I can do to free the baby honey, you just have to keep going.” Tom said. Anna let out a tiny grunty push. The head moved, but barely. She pushed again. Once again the baby responded, but it was little effort against the tight perineum. The baby receded back into Annas tummy. Once again becoming clenched by the Tight perineum. It was time to take a break and give up for a while, it was becoming apparent that Anna was not going to be able to free the baby. She was simply too tired, and her skin too tight. Anna drew her legs together and the baby disappeared from the Vulva back into her tummy. Anna stood up. It was time to take a break and walk. The walking motion and the movement of her hips might help the baby get into a better position to get free. The baby now back firmly in the tummy made Anna upset. She had carried this baby for the last nine months, and now it was so close to coming out, but yet she was unable to get it out. She could feel the baby moving within her, she could feel it kick and struggle to get free of her tight skin. She began to wonder if the baby would actually fit out of her. Anna endured more contractions as she paced around the bedroom. She could feel the babies head just inside her rubbing the perineum as she walked. It was a strange feeling. After 30 minutes of walking around, it was time for the inevitable. Anna needed to starting pushing again. Anna returned to the bed with Tom at her side. She drew back her legs and began pushing once more. She breathed in and bored down, her skin bulged below. She pushed again, the skin bulged farther and the vulva opened. She pushed again, the head came back to view then slowly receded with the end of the push. The next contraction came. Anna pushed hard and the head came to view, as the push slowed the head went back. Anna was grunting will all her might to free the little baby, but it was stuck. The tiny head held tightly in place. She took a breath. The head slipped slowly back in. “Good girl Anna, it will happen, just stay with it.” Tom said. However after several hours of pushing Tom was starting to get worried she would not be able to get the baby out on her own. Secretly he was turned on by this. Anna kept at it though, pushing hard to get the head moving, then watching it go back inside. She knew she really had no other choice but to get the baby out. The morning turned in to afternoon as Anna continued

to push the baby out. The head had now been going in and out for two long hours. Anna had now been pushing for five total hours. Anna’s body was covered in sweat, and she was becoming very exhausted. “Tom, the baby isn’t coming out.” Anna said. “I’ve been at this for hours.”

“I know babe, but the head is right there in your opening, It will come.” Tom replied. “Yes I know Tom, but her head has been there for two hours!” Anna said. “Are you enjoying seeing me like this?” “No babe of course not, I mean you are quite cute when you push, but I want the baby to come out to.” Tom said. Anna returned to pushing, she grunted hard and long. The babies head was right there at the opening, but just refused to come out any farther. Anna tried and tried again to get the baby out but with no prevail. “Ok Tom, I’m throwing in the towel.” Anna said. “Your baby isn’t coming out.” Anna felt trapped by this. She had a baby stuck in her, she couldn’t get it out, she began to feel anxious. Her anxiety made her tense up. This made the baby retract back inside her. As the baby retracted her tummy got bigger. “Looks like your still pregnant.” Tom said. “Yes, but I’ve been trying to get un-pregnant now for hours!” Anna said. “Why did you have to put such a big baby in me Tom? Anna asked. “I’m not sure its a size issue, I think there is another complication.” Tom replied. Anna went to say something again but was stopped by a contraction. She pushed hard and the head moved out to its farthest yet. The head stayed in the opening for a few seconds before slowly retracting back inside. “See babe, your getting it, that was the farthest its been out yet.” Tom said. “Well ok, I’ll keep trying.” Anna said. Anna pushed again with the next contraction, the head came slowly into view. The babies hair was dry now, it had been in the same spot for so long. Feeling the head going in and out was starting to become natural to Anna. It was actually starting to become slightly pleasureable. She pushed again feeling the head push against her opening. She was becoming aroused. Tom noticed this. “Starting to like it babe?” Tom asked. “Well.... I mean I want it out, but the feeling.....” Anna said. Anna continued to work the baby in and out of her. The head would slowly decend and push her opening, then retract back within her. Anna continued this until she could handle the pleasure no more. Her body shook and quivered with pure sensation. As the sensation overtook her she pushed, her opening contracted in and out. The babies head did the same, however it wasn’t popping out as she thought. The tension of the contractions held the baby tight within her. “Ok Tom thats it, your baby is stuck in me and I want it out now.” Anna said. “Get this baby out of me or else.” “Ok ok, lets see whats going on in there.” Tom replied. Tom reached in Annas opening, he felt around the babies stuck head with his finger. He got around to the bottom of the head and found the problem. “Ok so first of all we have a hand here, and second of all the baby is face up.” Tom said. “Theses two conditions make birth just about impossible.” Tom then withdrew his finger. “I suppose I could pull the hand free making birth much easier.” Tom said as he took a step backwards. “Ok so do it then.” Anna said. “Nah your ok babe, Just keep pushing.” Tom said as he stepped farther away. “Are you nuts Tom!” Anna said. “Your just so cute when you push.” Tom said. “Tom I command you to pull that hand out.” Anna said straining to push. “You’ll get it babe.” Tom said.

“TOM!!” Anna yelled. Tom slowly sat back down at her side. Anna desperately reached down and tried to feel for the babies hand. She could get her fingers just inside, but her belly was to big to be able to reach far enough inside. She gave up and moaned in protest. “Good girl Anna, just keep pushing.” Tom said. “Oh I’m going to get you for this!” Anna said. Anna went to move toward Tom but was hit with another painful contraction. She pulled her legs back and pushed as hard as she could. “Mmmmm Ahhhhhh, COME OUT BABY!” She yelled. She pushed hard again. “OHH MMMM AHHH, COME OUT!” She was gaining traction on the baby, moving its head ever farther out of her opening. However the babies little hand was preventing escape. She pushed hard again, her belly covered in sweat. She could feel the baby kicking and squirming inside to try and get out. Anna put her legs up on the headboard of the bed and continued to push with all her might. She pushed on her belly with her hands to help the baby. But it wasn’t moving. The baby was stuck just prior to full crown. The forehead was visible, but the face had yet to come. “TOM!” Anna said. “Good effort babe, But your still pregnant.” Tom said. “Make you a deal.” Tom said. “Ok what.” Anna said. “If I can impregnate you again in the future, I’ll pull that hand free.” Tom said. “NO, I don’t want another one of your babies inside me!” Anna said. “Ok keep pushing then.” Tom said. “Quick tip, wiggle your hips.” Anna stood up and got on all fours. Then went into a squat. She pushed and wiggled her hips as much as she could. The babies head began to come forward. She pushed harder and harder, the head began to finally stay down. With the next push the face came forth. It retracted a bit with the end of the push. The next push was a struggle but the baby was moving. “AHHHH MMMM.” Anna grunted as she pushed. The head was coming slowly out. The babies ears started to show. The end of the push had the ears disappear back in, to Toms pleasure. “Good Girl Anna, just keep pushing.” Tom said. The baby was coming but it was also continuing to recede back at the end of the pushes. The next push was finally the one that Anna had been waiting for, with a epic push and struggle, the head finally emerged. It was a relief to Anna to finally have the head out. She wiggled and pushed again, the first shoulder popped free. With the next push the other shoulder and body slipped free. Anna was elated to finally have the baby out. She got to know the new baby, and allowed Tom to bond as well. “So, when can we have another Anna.” Tom said. “Don’t get any silly ideas.” Anna said.

[enden-k]

it always makes me really happy to see artists that are more 'fandom-centric' by nature posting their OCs and other things along that line and getting positive feedback, which then in turn causes them to create and post more OC stuff tbh (this is meant 100% genuinely, i apologise if the way i phrased it is a little stilted or odd, i just love seeing non fandom content on my dash)

anyways, feel free to use this ask as a free pass to give us some random tidbits about your OCs and their stories! whatever is swirling around in there that you haven't been about to find a spot to talk about just yet would be great /gen

tbh i always drew my own characters and stories since childhood but started doing fanart when i joined my first big fandom back then (which was bleach in my teenage years); i kept drawing my own things until college between fanart here and there but the moment i made my art blog here i neglected my works more and more and did more fanart instead (for fgo back then). i havent drawn any of my comics again for 4 years or smth but now that my sister got back into hers again she motivated me to pick up my old stories again!!

i think bc ppl were so excited abt my fanart i always knew my own stuff wouldnt get as much reaction so i didnt even try and then just stopped working on it hhjhdfkj but yea, now that my sister gave me motivation and energy and now that i see ppl are actually liking my stuff its smth else aaaa. sry for rambling, i just wanted to clarify that im not fandom-centric by nature, it just happened over the time

anw idk what i should babble abt so uhhh have a fun fact:

not only is this specific story the first proper, planned through one i drew in my teenage years, its also the one that got me in trouble and caused a lot of serious pain bc my adoptive father snooped in my room back then and stole specific pages (like gore or smut scenes, yea i was edgy but also heavily traumatized and in a very bad place) and made up random shit about it to make fun of me, expose me by showing my friends and others and claim outrageous stuff. i tried to remake it later but always stopped with each version and never attempted to revive this story again bc it always filled me with shame and horror knowing he still owns these pages. me redrawing it now is lit the first time in YEARS that i touch it again and it feels very healing, like im seeing my teenage self again drawing this stuff with sm passion and not the person anymore who trampled on it and used it to cause me pain. bc that exact thing was what kept me from working on it again. i just couldnt do it.

(as usual w personal stuff, im just sharing this very dry like facts and i get uncomfortable when people send comfort so ye, reminder to not do that please)

[ssseriema]

figured id send something more positive too and i thought this might make you laugh, but im like slowly working on my fear of bugs and my arachnophobia and im trying to do so by like. this is so silly but ive been just like addressing bugs as little people. like i say hi to ants like theyre my homies and i talk to little pill bugs and beetles and stink bugs and moths, and im getting way better with bees!! bees used to scare me a lot but im getting a lot better with making myself relax when they fly by instead of freaking out because i know they wont just sting me unless i provoke them or make them scared, and ive even been able to like gently help some moths out when theyre in trouble or i see them hurt themselves :) even with the spiders thing ive been trying to slowly get more comfortable like... existing near them, kind of a "you stay in your space and ill stay in mine" and i used to talk to the spiders on my balcony and joke around like "i respect women at work so much godspeed women" @ the spider 😭 just thought this would make you smile :) also bug facts are super helpful!! actually learning about them and learning which ones are harmless or harmful and learning facts about them and learning that they wont hurt me if i dont hurt them has been so helpful :) just a silly little positive update :D im still scared, especially of spiders, but im trying my best!!! ❤️

waitttt thats so cute.. its true... bugs are like little guys. and hey the fact that youre tryna overcome your fear of bugs is already like massive and really awesome and brave. i know its hard cause my big sister has always been afraid of me and i know several people who will scream at butterflies or ants. i dont blame them for that tbh, everyones got their own phobias and icks and fears, but my respect for a person increases dramatically when they still try to be kind to those creatures regardless, they are trying to make it in this world as any other animal is (including us!!!)

and i agree that knowing more about bugs can help you be less afraid of them!!! im gonna say a secret and reveal that i didnt always like bugs lol. it wasnt until end of highschool/start of college that my interest really was sparked by them. the only experiences with bugs i remember really well from when i was young are when ants once climbed up my shoes and legs, being scared shitless of bees (and even more wasps), and being really grossed out by roaches. however, educating oneself does wonders, and it turns out that you can even discover one of your biggest passions through it!!!! like its a little crazy going from highschool (didnt like bugs) to going all the way to chicago just to see some of them. thats why at every opportunity i have i try to share my limited knowledge, others learn something new and i get a chance to nerd out!

just today i mentioned the sound of the cicadas while i was hanging out with my physics lab mates, and one of them was like "oh yeah i always wondered what those were, thought they were like grasshoppers or something. do they bite?" the answer is no, and its like wonderful that i know enough about cicadas to say that and maybe even soothe someones apprehension of them

about spiders, one little guy that ive heard helps people with arachnophobia are jumping spiders! theres a ton of videos on youtube about building little vivariums and habitats for them, and the spiders themselves are really cute. personally when i see a jumping spider i get really excited because they have awesome colors/patterns and theyre small and smart enough that i know theres no way they will hurt me. ive even tried to handle a couple of them (sorry spiders for bothering you) and they are just one of the most pleasant creatures ive met (they are pretty darty and they jump tho so it can be easy to get spooked when you dont expect it lmao)

so yeah, my hats off to you. since i started paying attention to bugs my life has gotten a little brighter (and its also inspired me to go outside more lolol). it makes me happy when my friends send me pictures of bugs because they think theyre cool or they wanna ask me what the bug is, because it means i have more chances to engage with the world of arthropods AND talk to my friends! maybe even make new ones! who fuckin knows

[thecameronchronicles]

Blackmail

TW: Dark JJ! Language. Heavy smut. Language. 

SUMMARY: A series of events leads JJ to finally make you his, by any means necessary…

WORD COUNT: 3600

*Requested*/*Original Concept*

Blackmail

You felt guilty for even saying the words out loud, and yet were desperate to talk about it to someone. Playing the role of the dutiful girlfriend to Pope Heyward meant that you were subject to showcase his same broadcast of perfection. Good grades in college, reticence wrapped beneath your well polished exterior, and your deepest of desires veiled behind smiles of happiness and contentment. And this is what brought you to discussing these details with Sarah, the recent ‘pogue’ to which you were closest to. 

“I’m just glad he can’t tell…” You confessed, “I wouldn’t want to hurt his feelings. But I feel like the excitement’s just…” You stopped yourself as you didnt want to claim these actual words as they teased expulsion from the tip of your tongue. 

The truth of the matter was that you and Pope were destined to date as you were scholars of the mind and passionate from your heart, always flirting and exchanging long glances-but you weren't exactly meant to last beyond high school. And it showed in the way those small romantic attempts faded between you as your busy schedules made it difficult to find time for one another. It was also this distance that made your mind travel to places you didn’t want it to. And yet, before you could stop those words from leaving your mouth, they hung in the air with Sarah’s humored reaction in tow. 

“Sometimes I just think I need to get someone else in my system for just one night or something. Just to get those ‘wild oats’ sown or whatever-”

“Someone you have in mind?” You contorted your face in thought. There was someone you had in mind, someone you always had in mind as he caught your eye on every occasion where he was present. That blonde hair bleached by the sea and the sun, those muscles on display with both the intent and ignorance to do so, and that smile that may be rare in genuine happiness but was a sight to see for your sore eyes. 

“J?!” Sarah teased as you shrugged while she had deduced this from the fact you were already with Pope and she was with John B, leaving the pivot you made over your shoulder back into The Chateau, the piece of the puzzle she needed for this clue. And you quickly berated her for the volume she chose to acknowledge it as everyone was asleep, including Pope, just beyond that screen door at your side. 

“I’ve heard for years how he is in bed…and…sometimes I think that’s all I want…But then I think back to Pope and he has everything I need. Like we have a future and all of that-”

“Just a lack of chemistry?”

“He’s so sweet with me…But it’s so…” You paused, forfeiting a blush with the chance to be honest. 

“He never…” You motioned between your thighs as Sarah’s brows shot up. 

“Which is fine if it’s rare because it’s something to look forward to-and he used to…but….it just feels so…planned. Like he’s thinking behind every action and not just enjoying it. He…he gets upset when we laugh during it…he says it makes him lose focus and ‘lose the moment’...And last night wasn’t the first time I’ve had to fake it…”

“Girl…”

“I know…But I just don’t want to hurt him…”

“Well what about other things? Like kissing and the touching-all the foreplay?” You cocked your jaw. 

“I feel like it’s more of a job…Even when he touches me…it’s almost rushed…” You shrugged before releasing a sigh. 

“I don’t know…I think I’m just…I think I just want too much and have too much time on my hands-” Sarah now leaned forward. 

“We’re young, okay. We’re still figuring all of this stuff out. But you have to be honest with yourself about what you want or you’re only hurting the people you’re convincing you’re happy with…” You slowly nodded. 

“That’s the thing, I am happy with him…but-”

“Better off as friends?” You hollowed into yourself at the thought. You didn't think that the details of the fractures between you and Pope were that big. You thought they would mend once you were out of college and allowed to see each other more frequently-but this consisted of a lot of ‘what ifs’ in contrast to what you could still make a reality now. That reality being JJ Maybank… Who was standing just beyond the other side of the screen door with a shit-eating grin in having heard every detail of your conversation.

Your steps began to stutter in your attempts to move from the edge of the hammock to the front of The Chateau, Pope’s words echoing in your mind from your recent verbal row. Having leaned over his shoulder and teased playfully for having been studying on spring break, he would snap at you and claim you weren’t taking things seriously. You would rebut in saying that’s all he did and he would leave his own response with ‘at least one of us does’, before storming off inside the Pogues hideout where he had remained until an hour prior when he’d kept himself purposely away from you, not even lifting a gaze of disappointment as you’d consumed far too many beers to take a single step let alone formulate a sentence. 

And yet, the feeling of a gentle arm wrapping its way around your waist had your hazed eyes falling to a figure as you were taken into the Chateau. 

“I’ve gotcha…” His voice should have been recognizable to you and yet you were too affected by the liquor to pay attention to anything but the spinning sensation left behind. You were taken into the back room of The Chateau, lights kept dim, before you would fall asleep in the comfort of a familiar set of sheets. 

Awakening that next morning, your face spread into a smile in realizing your lack of ensemble. Missing panties and a pleasant soreness between your thighs of what you knew had been a thorough reconciliation with your boyfriend. But as you pulled yourself from beneath that comforter, you felt the difference between your legs-a way you’d never felt in any interaction with Pope. Yet you believed the alcohol or maybe concealed frustrations relinquished beneath the guise of those libations would be the cause. But once you heard the groan at your back, your heart sank. 

Immediately at your feet, you turned to find the bronzed muscles tense as your motions pulled him awake, his arm outstretched in search of you, as your mind conjured every single scenario in which this would make sense. Maybe you slept with Pope but JJ stumbled in sometime in the night or maybe you did in going to the bathroom and choosing the wrong room. But as he lifted himself from the bed, that victorious smile spread to his dimples made you understand that your biggest fears, and desires, were acted on. 

“Morning, sweetheart-” 

“What the hell happened?” To this, he stood, running his fingers through his hair and standing shamelessly in the nude as you saw the lines of your nails against his chest before you would cast your gaze anywhere else. 

“It’s cute how shy you’re being…definitely weren’t last night…” He moved to his boxers, pulling them over his hips as you glared once he was dressed. 

“No…no, no, no, no no-” You spoke in repetition as he moved towards you as if to collect you in a loving embrace as you were quick to reject him. 

“What the fuck, JJ! Stop screwing around-” His brow lifted before his eyes descended to you as you remembered how you weren't dressed. Pulling the sheet around you, he would roll his eyes before letting out a sigh. 

“Careful, wouldn’t want Pope to know what you’re getting your panties in a bunch about…” His gaze directed to you in unwavering humor. “Or lack thereof…”

“Can you not be a jackass for two seconds-”

“You wanna know?” To this, he reached for his phone as you nodded, pulling his phone across the screen in a few dabs and swipes before the sights you’d only conjured in your mind were now broadcast on camera. 

Taken from a view just below his chest had been you on your knees, his cock within your hand in a twist as his head was sheathed between the pucker of your lips, his other set of fingers wrapped in your hair as he praised you for ‘taking him so well’. Once again, you tried to justify it. 

“I was drunk-”

“That’s more-” You paled as he swiped through a series of videos of every sexual act imaginable, the ones you wanted to try but were too afraid to ask for from your boyfriend-were all recorded as evidence of your infidelity. 

“Please J-”

“I think I have that on the third video…But hard to make it out because your face was in the pillow-” You reached for the phone as he was quick to reject your grasp.

“Nuh uh-”

“Why are you doing this? Pope is your friend-”

He scoffed before slowly nodding. “And he’s YOUR boyfriend…but it didn’t stop you from doing every depraved thing you did last night…The things he never did…” You retracted from him. 

“ALL the things you let ME do…” Your mind began to recall the details, triggered by a mix of his videos and his words. 

LAST NIGHT

“Here…” JJ’s voice acted as a comfort as he offered you a sip of water from a bottle left by his bed. 

The sight of his smile visible by the dim lamp set across the room was enough to know you weren’t simply imagining him, and also enough to swell that already deafening arousal between your legs. It had been weeks-months since you’d felt any sense of genuine pleasure and the tease of his fingers on your hip was enough to cast those ‘come hither’ eyes-even under the influence of alcohol. And yet, your reservations at the memory of Pope and your recent fight remained on the forefront over your intense and annoying arousal. 

“Are you hot, sweetheart?” His words, mostly carnal, were somehow still loving as you were taken out of your shorts before you could object. 

“And wet?” Your lips pulled into a smile as you felt his hand trail up your thigh, each finger taking stock of the soft skin he’d been denied until now. 

“J-”

“Shh…just let me take care of you…”

“We can’t…” You fought, your believability as fleeting as your voice as your eyes came closed to feel his thumb make contact with your clothed clit. You weren’t a virgin by any means as you and Pope had been together for just under two years, and yet, JJ’s touch made you feel the nerves and sensations as if you’d never been touched by anyone but him. It was enough to make you forget your morals as they were left breaking with your allowance. 

“Goddamn..how can he not want you all the time?” To his question, you were still numb. 

“Poor girl’s so needy…You’d be so easy to slip in to-And I bet you’d take me deep, too…” You whined and whimpered as his breath now replaced his touch as you could feel him pull your panties from your hips. The sudden lack of fabric made your eyes sprint open. 

“JJ we can’t!”

“Oh, but you want to…”

“Please-”

“Not after I know how you want me-” Your eyes tried to focus on him, squinting as he made immediate contact with your pussy, already crying at just the thought of him as your boyfriend was the farthest thing from your mind, attempting to intervene on your pleasure. 

“Not after I know you’ve thought about me just as much as I’ve thought about you…Especially knowing he isn’t doing right by you…And now…” He flicked yoru clit with his tongue as you arched beneath him, a smirk resting against your thigh as he pulled your legs over his shoulders. 

“You gotta be quiet for me, sweetheart…I don’t want anyone to know how good you sound until I make you come….” You clenched your fingers into the sheets as he devoured your wholly. 

Almost as if made to do so, he moved in perfect motions between his fingers and his tongue. Whenever you would begin to tremble around him, he would alter from fingertips to the tip of his tongue all to prolong that rush and lengthen the moans and whimpers that caused his cock to rise in a painful rigidity. Yet, it meant more to him to hear you come undone than to have it unto him-at least, for now…

“How the hell can he not eat you out every second?! You’re so fucking sweet…” He moaned into you, the vibrations pulling you closer to that edge. 

“JJ…fuck!” He deepened his tongue against you, sucking harder and flicking faster, as you were kept still by the forearm pressing you into the mattress as his second hand rose to your breast. Playing with your nipples in accordance to the pleasure continuing in ravaging circles and nibbles of your pussy, your body was losing all sense of reality. Never before had you been touched like this, with such necessity and passion-and it was enough to make you belt out his name in repetition. 

“I love how you say my name like this, but gotta be quiet…” He warned. 

“I don’t want to be…it feels so good.” He groaned to this. 

“I’m not even inside of you yet, baby-”

“Please…” And to this, he would remove himself from between your legs, put his phone on record, and begin his docu-series of you. 

“What do you want?” He asked, undressing from the waist down, his cock at attention, as you moved onto your knees for him, sober enough to do so without collapsing onto your face or ass in the process. 

“You want my cock?”  You licked your lips before slowly nodding, not only wanting it but needing it. Needing to taste it. Needing to tame it. And he reveled in knowing it.

“It’s yours, princess…” You took it in stride, although intimidated, before he began to moan and groan to your movements. The twist at his base and the depth you took him had sent him within his own spiral of euphoria as his eyes screwed closed to the sounds of you choking on him. 

“Good girl…Such a good girl…” You nodded. 

“You like being my good girl?” He asked, patting your head before collecting the strands of your hair into a fist and withdrawing you from his cock. 

“Yes…” You breathed sharply following the gasp of his initial grasp. 

“Then show me you want me…” He forced you to your feet as you whined for the rejection of unfinished business. 

“Don’t worry baby…I won’t do anything without you…It’s all yours…” He explained while motioning to his cock, allowing it to remain at attention as he guided you to the edge of the bed. 

“You’re gonna tell me all the things you want me to do to you-all the things he never does or never does right…and I’m gonna make you come with all of them-” At the mention of his words, you hesitated, forcing him to move closer against you. 

“If you say his name, you’re done. You don’t get to feel good…you’ll just make me…I’ll bend you in every goddamn position and make sure you know my cock in every fucking way-” His hand now moved to your hip, twisting you onto your stomach before a slap to your ass made you gasp. 

“EVERY way…” Your eyes rolled before you felt his breath on your cheek, kissing over his recent strike. 

“So let me see how you play with it when you think of me…” You were ambitious to a fault, dragging your fingers between your folds as he kept his camera directed to you. 

“Fuck…” He breathed behind a smirk. 

“Faster for me…I need you dripping for how hard I’m gonna fuck you, sweetheart-” You moaned behind your clenched teeth. 

“You like that I’m watching you?”

“Yes…”

“You like that it’s not him-” Your fingers suddenly stopped. 

“Did I say you could stop?” You turned back towards him, paying no attention to the camera as he now held it at his side. 

“Please…I can’t-”

“But you were, so well…and you’re gonna keep-”

“J- I can’t…” You cried, the betrayal having been too much to fathom. 

“But you will-” As you tried to turn completely to face him, his hands forced you to remain, two fingers penetrating you, sending you into the sheets before you as you gripped tightly to the pleasure he allowed-the forbidden pleasure quelled by his curved digits. 

“Please-”

“I wanted to take my time, baby…But I could almost come on the spot just hearing you beg-” He was suddenly inside of you. 

“And you’re gonna take it for me…you’re gonna let me fuck you because we both know you want it-you need it…” 

“Please stop-” He kept a hold in your hair, quickening into you. 

“Fuck…” He breathed, ignoring your pleas as they continued, “Keep begging, sweetheart-sounds so sweet for me…” He explained breathlessly as you tried to fight him, but only ended up clenching around him. 

“Yes! Fuck yeah…” He groaned, prompting thrust after thrust as your body betrayed your morals. 

“Bet you wanna come on my cock, don't cha sweetheart?” His fingers were merciless against your clit, an impossible pace making you mindless in any sense of reason. 

“Fuuccckkk….J….J….” You sung beneath his attempts as he smirked. 

“Oh shit, are you a squirter? Bet I can make you one…” With this, he withdrew, only to replace his cock with his fingers, moving in harsh but deep piston-like motions as his second hand kept the camera to you once you buried your face into the pillow beneath you. 

“Both know you need this, sweetheart. So let me have it…come on…” But as he could feel you resist him, he became more violent-more vulgar-if that was even possible. 

“Come the fuck on! I’m the one putting the work in this tight little pussy so give me what I want-!” He dropped the camera just long enough to slap your ass, returning the phone to now witness the red mark left behind. 

“Come ON!” To this, you belged, the squirting he desired now as evidence of your release. But you weren’t allowed a moment’s reprieve before he was inside of you again. This time, he took you against his chest, bringing the camera in selfie mode so he could record the way you were spent against him and his own smirk as he kissed into your cheek. 

“Whose cock is making you clench like this, hmm? Don’t have to yell it for me…just say it…”

“JJ…”

“Mmm hmm… And who feels so fucking tight taking me in like this, huh?”

“Me…” He nodded. 

“You gonna make me come inside you? You gonna tell me I’m all you need as I make you so full you’ll be dripping for hours-days?” You nodded.

“Then fucking do it-” And with this, the phone was propped on the table just beside the bed to document him pounding in to you. 

“Why?” You asked JJ the morning after, the echoes of multiple orgasms having returned to you from this reminiscence. 

“Because I heard what you said to Sarah about being curious…And you know what they say about that killing that cat…and I think I slayed that pussy, baby…” You winced at the words as you wanted to hate him, but even as he looked at you in this moment, that pulsation returned between your thighs. 

“What will it take for you to delete it?”

“Delete it?!”, He scoffed. “Are you kidding?!”

“Please-”

“Now that I know what you really want, I’m going to make sure you get it as long as you stay my good girl and behave, sweetheart-” You shuddered. 

“Don’t call me that-”

“Maybe you only like being called that when you’re on your knees for me then? When my fingers are pulling at your hair? And you're crying with how deep I am in your throat?” He crossed the floor to stand before you, your jaw clenched and chest rising in preparation to rebuttal him. 

“What do you want, J?” He held up his phone, signaling to it, before offering his answer. 

“I’m gonna keep this little video all to myself for now…but that can change if you decide to get pissy with me. What WOULD he think to know everything you let me do to you?”

“Jesus, he’s your friend!”

He slowly nodded, stepping impossibly close to you as you remained rooted. 

“And now you’re mine. Whenever. Wherever. However…” He took your jaw in his hand. 

“All mine…” You forced your head away as you watched him move from the bedroom and into the hall with that victorious smile across his face, all while teasing you with that damn phone that he had dancing between his pinch. 

Taglist: @hopebaker @iovdrew @penny4yourthoughts @magnificantmermaid @pickingviolets @lovedetlost @trikigirl271 @my-baexht-Is @slut4starkey @slvtherinseeker @obxiskewl @obxxrxfes @bluesongbird @slut-era @ailee-celeste @rafesbae @pankhoeforlife

[munamania]

bitch post time!!!!!! many revelations ok last night's vibes were HEINOUS but it provided so much for me and lydia to talk about and now i am gonna share with you yippee storytime

k so we plan to go to this valentines day showcase thing that the college radio is putting on last night. mind you at my place of work where i pretended that i had a family emergency and had to go home cause i didnt feel like going into work yesterday morning lol idiot... i was so paranoid my boss was there in disguise or some shit it was stupid. sorry um. yeah so ok i was largely like this could be a chance for friend groups to come together and maybe ill be able to talk to sams roommate and also like i do want to see more live music and it's free! so. anyway ok wait let me tell u abt the first part of the day

so me and lydia drive over some wine bottles to sam for him to use as props in a film. and sam and the roommate are sitting on their porch and we chat a little bit acc sam said as i walked up 'you always look so suspicious' and i was like 'ok u guys were literally just staring at me' cause they WERE and roommate was actually really nicely like 'oh no you're okay' and generally was just kind of inserting into our convo which well i had fun with naturally. um anyway and then who comes running up but teko! our buddy teko. and sams like have yall met and im like Of course and teko gives me a hug and i cant lie it was actually so sweet. i am also extremely touch starved but it was a nice hug. anyway. then i had to help roommate pick shoes alongside teko's fit and then i was like um Ok Bye. when i got back in the car lydia was like so i saw a neon sweatshirt... and i was like yeah <3 that's my man <3 sorry ok vibes get worse as the night comes

me and lydia end up getting to sam's late to 'pregame' this show and ig it was supposed be like. it was encouraged to dress formally. and i was wearing a dress that was too small and my chappell red tights and docs. kind of a serve but me and lydia were serving much more valentines day than formal. anyway. roommate does swing around to be like hi! and THEN i see my girl chloe i looooove her shes so fuckin funny and weird and we made this weird little short together in class last semester and i was kinda intimidated by her so i was so happy shocked when she was like I was so excited to see u :D WEEE shes so cool guys and has the funniest fuckin laugh and well honestly the high points of the night were us and lydia fucking around and dancing and being weird and offputting wallflowers cause again this thing SUCKED. ok

we did also smoke beforehand and i accidentally took this huge hit and then thought id be fine w a little more but brother was i feeling funny. did not eat enough and didnt take water it was atrocious. so. we get there and let me tell you if I WAS WORKING i'd have been able to fix the fact that it was soooooooooo fucking loud in there like bad bad bad audio distortion etc i wanted to kick this dude off the mixer but like what ever... it hurt so bad. and the lights were mostly on until chloe and sam duped this guy into dimming some of them but even still it was giving middle school dance. without the fun cheesy music. some of my instagram gay people are there. um but sorry there was simply no way i was going near that dance floor like the bands lowkey highkey sucked (i mean it was just a bunch of white college dudes and they did not slay. shocker. sam kept being like 'they're so good' and we were like um haha... straight face emoji)

we acc disappeared for a while to another floor for the br and just chilled for like half an hour (and security came to find us lmfaooo but ended up just leaving) and i was feeling odd and out of body and too aware of how i looked and it was just not great i was like we're the only bitches serving cunt here... um. anywho. so like later theres a slow dance and roommate is dancing with this other girl i only know from instagram till this point and i suppose if i was really feeling myself i could have tried to make a move but i was not. once again. vile vibes in this place. like i dont mean to be a pussy i typically would be much more charming and fun if i wanted to flirt and kinda felt the vibe from them but i was not really enjoying myself LMAO

then some more of the friend group shows up at the end and sam's like 'drama is actively going down' and im like Wuhhhh the fuck and i feel like a few of them r looking at me and i was just like get me OUT of here but for some fuck ass reason was still like nooooo we should go over and have pizza w sam and them. forgive me for thinking they had like frozen pizza or smth and i could get some free food out of this no we had to sit there and wait for dominos or whatever

AND THE MOST ANNOOOOOOOOOOOYING AWFUL TERRIBLE GROSS MEN YOUVE EVER MET SAT THERE AND JOINED THE BRIEF SMOKE CIRCLE AND THEN WERE JUST THERE AND LIKE YOU COULD JUST FEEL THEM TAKING UP SPACE AND US 'GIRLS' WERE MADE TO FEEL SO SMALL ON THE FUCKING COUCH I WAS SOOOOOOOO TIRED. had to get a sweater cause i felt so uncomfortable. girl i really was only there in case i could have a saving grace moment with roommate im so serious. well and for chloe but otherwise me and lydia shoulda been outta there

literally chloe was so excited to show our little video to people and sam cut us off from getting there to show us the fucking fidget spinner game he has on his tv. girl get out! oh my fucking god. finally lydias like Cool anyway so - like sams misogyny jumped out in previously unprecedented ways. it was bad. these boys were truly making me want to kill myself im sorry like it was so bad i have curated my experience so as to be away from that for so long it was really jarring. and what you need to understand about sam is that he's almost died twice and kind of has a funny little gender vibe going on and so for a while now yeah we've gotten along through silly odd things we relate through but holy shit....... that was so offputting i cant even wrap my brain around it

also sam very much walked me into like yaoi-fying him and his best friend and then was like haha noooo why r u calling us gay ur so weird bitch just fuck him already im tired and also dont care.. hes so attention seeking and not used to um not being the center of attention. sorry! oopsies anyway so

so then im like ew like i kinda need to reassess um. the people im around. and again cant stress enough how gross and judged and just kinda old i felt surrounded by these ppl even tho theyre all like within a year of age? and like roommate still seems maybe cool but since we didnt actually talk and they were off w the other roommate/other ppl i cant help but associate them w the odd vibes but like. honestly idk i might just try to uh slide into their dms rlly casually. bc. well idk how the friend group is fracturing and it wouldnt surprise me if they were annoyed with sam esp living with him but obv i dont really know. but again let me stress this friend group has been friends since their freshman year like what r yall doing yeah u do need to break up....

so i figure since they're hot (and kinda tiny i cant tell if they're shorter than me or just right around my height) (but also they kind of scared me by giving Instagram face while posing for a pic last night i cant do any more people giving off dorian gray rn. but i was also under the influence so um that didnt help) i could just yeah be brave see how it goes and worst case scenario it's not a vibe yk. and best case scenario i get to hang w them and teko. teko so gives francis. anyway

OH also sam and the friends insisted on listening to this ai generated… thing like idk guys i think i was in hell fr

also had several men yell out of their cars at me and staring at me as we walked to the bus stop :/ so men really do ruin everything btw

um. so. that was the night! thx for reading if u did. i am excited to be around other fun silly cool queer people god bless fuck these people

[gaz-light]

CW: Me but ugly

Ya know what fuck it. I don't intend to this mid week. I wanna do it now while I've got the time and honestly I'm a bit excited.

This is John. He's the guy I used to be. I don't have many other pictures of him but I saved these ones for this purpose. They're some of the few I could stand for some reason.

It's hard to think I ever used to look like that. Think or act the way I did. You could go back right now and tell him the events of the past like year or so and honestly he'd probably understand it. Would be too scared as shit nervous and doubtful to ever believe it. Hated himself too much to imagine it being this way.

This is how I started off on Hormones 1 year ago. 5/31/22. Somewhere between 11/7/21 and 4/9/22 everything went to shit. I crashed my motorcycle and broke my arm, ended up broke, didnt get into grad school, the girl I was madly in love with just let me know I was being replaced by someone with a pussy. It took about everything happy in my life turning to shit over night to finally crack the egg that I had been growing in for so long.

There were signs before. Things I always knew. Always hung out with girls. Liked sapphic content. Felt detachment from peers of my agab, enjoyed pretending at being an internet femboy. Horribly autistic. Fucking hated my body. Hated hated hated hated hated. I had a closeted sissy kink and dressed up FOR YEARS. So much more. Eventually I started hooking up with trannies the same way I hooked up with lesbians and things began to click. Something in me thought ya know what, I don't have to just admire and adore and yearn for them. Then a good friend of mine consoling me one April night more or less extended an invitation and I didn't look back.

And then she was born. I think these photos are from maybe a month post starting HRT. Would you believe I hadn't seen myself without facial hair in like 10 years before this point. I hadn't shaved it all off since I was 13. I'm hispanic. Greek and Cuban so I've had this accursed facial and body hair for fucking ever. I was so afraid the first time I picked up that razor. I didnt know if I'd like what was on the other side. I felt safe and secure in the validation I got from other people that I thought it'd be ok if I was just unhappy with myself forever. I hated whatever I was so much that I didnt have the energy to care for her.

Then I shaved.

I looked in the mirror and I thought that girl looked kinda cute. For the first time I really didnt think I looked so bad. My friends were very supportive thankfully. Not everyone was. Certainly not dear old dad who still wont call me by my name or gender me properly. The man who told me god had cursed him with 2 faggots. My little trans brother and I. The man who let me know I was a disappointment and that neither I or anyone of us were real women. I still havent forgiven him for so much. But I am trying to let it go. Even the cis people were kinda nice. I lost some who were kinda edgy friends from highschool. Nothing of value was lost.

Since then I've worked to navigate the professional world as a woman. My first boss at my first real post college job was this British woman from England who made my life kinda hell. Preyed upon and picked on me and embarrassed me professionally. One of the 2 other women at the office. She never would admit to it but I think she resented me for it. I was also the only tranny there. Well sorta. There was 1 other who worked down in facilities doing the trash and dishes for the labs. But not up there. Not on the 8th floor with us in the "war room".

And this is where and who we are now 1 year later. Same eyes. Same 5'0 looking ass. But happier. Smiles when she looks in the mirror. Can actually do things for herself. Set boundaries. Care. Maybe she can even love too. I've placed myself into countless lesbian romance fantasies and I feel like I have a shot at living them. I used to be like 200 pounds. I'm down to 128 and also built like a brick house full of muscle. I was horrified of being trapped in that body of mine forever and the fear and doubt that I'd never make it even this far scared me into doing nothing until i had little else to lose.

Let me leave you with some wise advice that friend who cracked my egg once gave to me: The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is right now.

Transitioning was the best decision I ever made for myself. Happy birthday Morrigan. I love you.

[suchacomet]

Spring Awakening Fandom Tag

(By @winter-asleepening, tagged (kinda) by @feelssogoodinmyarms )

sorry for this being long and for jumping in on this out of nowhere, i got excited and i missed talking about this show now that i’m once again in my yearly spring awakening phase thanks to seeing a local production yesterday :)

1. How were you introduced to the show?

i was an emo kid trying to find musicals i liked bc i started doing theater in high school, i saw american idiot was made into a musical, and followed the john gallagher jr rabbit hole to a b00tl3g of obc spring awakening. this happened to be in 2014 and when i heard about dwsa on broadway i conned my mom into taking me to nyc to see it (i didnt tell her how sexual it was i just said “it’s about teens coming of age in germany set to rock music” and she had Words for me during that intermission lol)

2. Seen a production live?

yes, four: dwsa, a local college production, and two productions at local theater companies in the areas i’ve lived

3. Dream role/character you relate to most

y’all already know it’s moritz…. i imprinted on him when i was 14 and have never stopped being obsessed with him as a character. but i think it’s more likely i’d get the chance to play ilse before moritz and i would love to play ilse as well

4. Favorite male character

mort steeple :) i have never gotten enough of this dude, ever

5. Favorite female character

wendla <3 she’s such a good character when she’s played with the right amount of joy, stubbornness, and curiosity

6. Deaf West Revival or Original Broadway Cast?

dwsa all the way. i appreciate obc for what it is but dwsa is my definitive best revival/adaptation ever ever ever

7. Favorite song

comet on its way :) christ such a whole, like, deal 🙄😏

but if you force me to pick “a real song” that “is actually in the show” then… i think a production that has a really good “and then there were none” is killer bc it means 1. they’re focusing on my favorite boy moritz and 2. they have an adult woman who plays fanny gabor compassionately but flawed in a way that underscores the show’s themes around adults not trusting kids with their own minds and bodies. which i greatly enjoy

8. Least favorite song

this is unfair of me bc it never fails to make me cry and it has one of my favorite lyrics ever in it (window by window you try and look into this brave new you that you are) but it’s “the guilty ones” bc i think “there once was a pirate” is better. my hot take is that dwsa is only version of spring awakening i’ve ever seen where i actually prefer their use of guilty ones instead of pirate

9. Favorite quote/line

musical: so maybe i should be some kind of laundry line / hang their things on me / and i will swing ‘em dry / you just wave in the sun through the afternoon / and then see / they come to set you free / beneath the rising moon - don’t do sadness it’s just such an evocative description of feeling hopeless against all the pressures of life and perfectly encapsulates being 15 and desperate and just wanting a little bit of relief. plus the way daniel durant and alex boniello performed this is so killer. moritz stiefel i love you

play: “don’t let’s be sad […] if we recall this in thirty years, perhaps we shall make fun of it.——and yet everything is so beautiful. the mountains glow; the grapes hang before our mouths and the evening breeze caresses the rocks like a playful flatterer.” from hans in the vineyard scene. augh it’s just so tender and lovely in a way that the musical doesn’t have the time/ability to address, with the acknowledgement that yes this moment is temporary and who knows if ernst and hanschen will “make it”. and yet. everything is so beautiful. also PROOF THAT HANSCHEN ISNT A CREEP OR MANIPULATIVE HE IS ALSO A TEEN BOY IN LOVE FUCK YOU STEVEN SATER

10. Favorite TV performance

always and forever dwsa touch me on seth meyer i have seen it at least two hundred times and i’m not exaggerating

11. Favorite cast member(s)

daniel durant always always always. he is such a talent i’m so glad his career seems to be taking off, he’s genuinely one of the best actors i’ve ever seen in my whole life.

12. Favorite cast member moment

can i say 1st national tour cabaret where the boys performed comet on its way in order to bring up comet on its way again. if not it’s when i gave daniel durant a painting of him as moritz at stage door and i was a shy anxious teen who learned just enough asl to say “hi” and “thank you” and “will you sign my playbill please” and he was SO sweet to me and lovely and he hugged me and i know actors do that kind of shit all the time and i’m sure he doesn’t remember it but it really made my whole life when it happened :’)

13. Do you write fan fiction?

not outside of personal catharsis pieces that have never seen the light of day. i made an aloto/vineyard scene web weaving post though that i do think goes hard

14. Do you make fan art?

i still love the moritz and then there were none piece i did a few years ago but i haven’t done a whole lot past that… that may change though i want to get back into drawing

15. Do you cosplay?

no, but spring awakening costumes have 10000% influenced my real life fashion and hair decisions. lol

16. Don’t do Sadness or Blue Wind?

i just saw this GORGEOUS performance of dds/bw where ilse sobbed through her verse of blue wind and the rest of the cast like gathered around her and slowly peeled away to represent her memory/longing for real connection and the reality of her never really having that at all, and really underscoring that her spoken lines about her new life in the artist’s colony and wanting to take moritz home are just posturing to hide how lonely she is… so right now i think blue wind

17. Word of Your Body or the Reprise?

reprise when it’s done earnestly, but i do really love the lyrics in woyb

18. Touch Me or My Junk?

my junk! i love seeing the different ways it’s staged between georg and hanschen and the girls, plus it’s the only time the girls get to be horny

19. Explain the Song of Purple Summer

it’s a metatextual message from the story of spring awakening to the audience that underscores the themes of open and honest communication being the key to healthy people and relationships, it’s asking the adults in the audience to believe children (when they say they’re gay, when they ask for information and want to be given all of it, when they ask for help and say they want to die), it’s a message of hope to the kids in the seats who relate too much to the kids on stage, telling us that it will get better

20. Explain the Song of Purple Summer (wrong answers only)

horses fuck and have foal babies idk <3

that was very fun thank you for indulging me. if any of mine olde spring awakening/dwsa mutuals are still around please consider this me tagging you <3

[castlebyersafterdark]

on a more serious and sweet note, i do feel for noah seemingly crushing on finn (and vice versa possibly!) because im sure he had formative experiences after coming out at penn (that one time he said in a live from his dorm room 'i've had an amazing year, did some things ive never done before' - i mean who phrases shit like that unless you mean sex lol)

but as a young gay guy surely he wants to get out there and explore, but he's kind of constrained to something because of his fame. so he has to be extra careful, not even like being seen with a partner in the press but to find trustworthy people! it must be kinda frustrating, like, sexually? romantically definitely. but sexually too. i mean, for anyone, even if straight. i remember finn talking about giving up going to parties as a teen cos he didnt want it to affect his career. to have those wild private moments sacrified, the places to experiment... i wonder how it will affect them all long term. perhaps this is also why noah so excited for s5, for byler, as will he gets to live a sort of vicarious love affair! he already said will helped him find himself, i think it's kind of beautiful that he gets to explore so much as will and as noah: not-quite-first kisses with a guy (i presume!), also his first kiss as a performer, perhaps more. it's so wonderful to think about.

All of this! That's a big reason you just feel for him, put into perspective the pressure, how young he is with this spot light. Still figuring himself out. A normal guy, you know he'd maybe be putting himself out there more. I know as soon as I decided to be out in college, around the same age... oh man. It's a lot to deal with, wanting to jump into the world and meet people and finally experience what's correct for you. But he's in the spotlight. How do you even navigate that? It's hard enough trusting people when you're young and gay and just a random person. But he's a young famous celebrity. If it's not close friends from your private life or another guy in a similar life situation, I always wonder how you meet people or even just hook up if you don't want your business out there. Is it actually a lot simpler than I'm overthinking haha just tough to wrap my head around. Fame is fascinating but it's so foreign and intimidating to me.

So also, this could be fueling his eagerness for the pair in the show. He gets to portray a romance on screen! A gay love story between two best friends. That's incredible, and he must feel so happy and honored he gets to helm it, wants to do such a good job because it's multiple-fold important... and just important to him.

[elytrafemme]

shoving under the cut so i can talk candidly bc this is lowkey killing me, minors PLEASE don't read ty

sexual trauma drives me crazy insane because on top of all the like already exciting stuff i have to deal with like being unable to masturbate and endless horrifying guilt i also have this weird mindfuck where whenever im at home nobody talks about sex at all unless its a medical gig or im being told that i need to be careful because i look too pretty or im being reminded not to wear short shorts because i dont need to do that ANYWAY so anything i try to do is like inherently branded as kind of an illicit thing when its my own fucking body, but when im at uni i can't really do anything because while i didnt have a roommate last year i do have one this upcoming year and like even when i had my own bedroom i felt embarrassed and also everyone you know is way ahead of you and you are the one staggeringly behind but then you go back home and u feel like the biggest whore ever. Like. Sorry but even worse than sex not like ever going to happen for me being any kind of Other turned on is fucking embarrassing because like not exactly easy to explain to your friends that since everything got kinda ruined for u your sex ed is planned parenthood and written porn (largely fanfic) and ur routine is to just get ungodly horny and then give up (not to mention that im like super autosexual not in actual hypothetical practice but like nobody else except me gets me. Yeah). Girl who is forced to always think about sex but cannot do anything about this because of the very same thing that forces her to think about sex. AUGH. And then i try not to be envious of other peoples experiences but unfortunately i kinda have a tiny voice that sees other survivors and is like. how can you just Do The Thing. I never even had THAT direct of contact (trying not to say it wasnt that bad but like in a very literal sense it was NOT that bad) and i am like literally ruined forever lol. my literal life goal this summer is to jack off successfully but i dont want to cut my nails and i have nothing else and none of it even feels good. so i guess one day in college im just going to have to read some crazy fanfiction cut my nails and hope none of my sexually adept friends notice. should probably just bite the bullet and cut them tomorrow or something but like. Ugh. ugh.

[silverwhiteraven]

Burrito^Squared: A [Debug Teaser] CYOA MariBat Vote Fic - Ch. 1

[ Author's Note: While I work on setting up the first chapter of the official MariBat Vote Fic, I decided, with the encouragement of the fandom on Discord, to test out how to work Polls into a written story on Tumblr. I chose what I endearingly call "The Bottom of the Barrel" to do this with! AKA, the lowest voted answers of the 4 Set-Up Polls. I hope you all enjoy what has been born from the ashes of Daminette's win <3 ]

Chapter 1 - A Hero's Game

Capture the flag. A simple game of two teams, two goals, and two lines of defense, each facing off against the other. The more members put into the offence, the weaker the deffence. The stronger the deffence, the less offence one could provide. But no mix of defence and offence could possibly hold against an all-out attack by a strategic mastermind with a one-track mind! Especially a hungry one on a time crunch who knows her flags have no offensive capabilities.

Batgirl sped through the streetlamp lit streets of Metropolis, every available computer system on her person and her scooter out, open, and running like some kind of crazed Pokemon Go player on a never ending hunt. Which wasn’t all that inaccurate of a description.

“Come on, come on, that last one has to be here somewhere!”

She fretted aloud as the wind whipped around her, eyes on her screens more than on the street ahead. It might have been a miracle that she hasn’t gotten into any accidents after all the time she has done this, or it could have simply been the skill of an obsessed teenager. She didn’t have time to figure that out, though.

The communicator on her wrist beeped and she held it up to her face like it was her last hope. “Bumblebee! Please please PLEASE tell me you found it!”

There was a pause, before a timid voice came through. “Well…Do you want the bad news first…?”

“Noooo-! Please, the Metropolis HackCon is tomorrow! I can’t lose this competition to that sad little puppy-eyed rich brat again!” She bemoaned. That Tim Drake kid may not have been as odl or as skilled as her, but he had more resources than Barbra Gordon originally had access to. That has since changed, but who knows what might have changed for him, too. She didn’t want to think about it.

“You know i’m not much of a hacker, Batgirl,” Bumblebee replied apologetically. “I do more of the mechanical aspects than the programming side of things. It’s why I had so much trouble with making my suit… Besides, what kind of convention sets up a competition that takes place before the actual event? How do they keep track of cheating, or maintain their servers, or- or- or ensure the safely of their participants!? Do you really have to be going all over the city just to find these Flags? It doesn’t seem right…”

“Oh psh, you worry too much, Bee! This Con is hosted by none other than Lex Luthor this year!” She revealed excitedly, getting a squawk from Bumblebee, who couldnt comprehend how her friend was excited about something held by a suspected Supervillain. “They say the top prize gets a college scholarship and guaranteed internship upon graduation! I’ve been trying to win that myself for years now- Darn Drake kid keeps mocking me by donating the scholarship to the second and third placers.”

“Wait, so you don’t actually need-?”

“It’s the principle of it, Bumblebee! The principle!” Batgirl declared loudly, before ending the communication.

“Batgirl…? Batgirl? Oh, she hug up. But, I didnt even get to tell her the good news…”

Soon enough, Batgirl reached her limit and ended her hunt for the last Flag. Stashing her scooter in a narrow and dark alley, she grappled up to a highrise rooftop and flopped down, defeated and feeling like a dried up starfish.

“What kind of Capture the Flag game is also this much of a Treasure Hunt??” She groaned. “It used to just be held at the HackCon, sitting at computers and digging through the servers of the Convention Center an connected Hotels! How did that Luthor guy get so many businesses around Metropilis to participate like this…? Ugh, I don’t care! I wish he would at least give us hints!”

A few moments passed, as Batgirl grumbled to herself, complaining and going over what she knew so far so she could try to find a lead hidden within her own brain.

Then the crunch of rooftop gravel had her looking up, or as relatively up as she can while laying flat on her back. A head of blond hair looms just behind her, a familiar bucket of food obscuring the face. “Tough time?” a sympathetic voice asked.

[timaeusterrored]

((College Au Valentines Day bc I can’t help myself))

“Come onnnn J, we gotta do something for him!” Kerry said, climbing onto of his best friend. He straddled his back, Johnny laying face down to try and escape the talk of Valentine’s Day.

“Gotta work, Muse. Can’t.” Lies. Rogue and Mike offered to hold the fort down if he wanted to do something with Vince and Kerry. And the look that Mike gave him told him he kinda had too or he’d rip his other arm off.

There was a gentle knock at the door before the sound of key jingling and Kerry grinned, knowing that meant Vincent was here, bright and early before classes today. “Don’t you two have class?” Since when did Johnny ever care if they had class or not? He didn’t but wasn’t about to give in. Not even when Kerry started to press kisses against his flesh shoulder.

“Ker? J?” Vincent’s voice rang out, once again alerting the two. “Bedroom!” Kerry called back, not moving since he basically had Johnny pinned and Johnny was too lazy to move him. Kerry smiled when he saw their input, wearing his hoodie right now that he had bleach painted himself. “Happy Valentine’s Day!” Sharing a kiss with Vincent always felt like the first time.

“May I ask what’s going on?” Vince asked, especially since he knew Johnny could buck Kerry off of him. “Well in trying to be normal, would you like to go on a date with us tonight?” Kerry asked, and Vincent reddened. “Oh uh.. yeah. But can I plan it?” Suspicious. That got the rockers’ shared attention. “Yes?” Kerry hadn’t actually made it that far so he was kinda relieved Vincent was already planning something. “Perfect. I brought coffee if you’d-“ that’s all Kerry needed to get off of Johnny and high tail it into the kitchen with promises of coffee and knowing Vincent, some form of pastry.

Johnny rolled onto his back and looked up at Vincent, who was watching Kerry walk away with a small smile and definitely checking out his ass. Johnny couldn’t blame him, he did it all the time. How could he not? He also looked at Vincent’s so.

He pulled Vincent on top of him, causing the younger man to yelp out in surprise. “Mornin’.” Vince whispered, before leaning down for a gentle kiss. Johnny didnt know what gentle spirit possessed him when Vincent was around, but he gently tucked a strand of purple hair behind Vince’s ear as they kissed. “Mornin’..”

“Coffee and muffins this morning, hope that’s okay.” He said softly, always wanting to please. Johnny and Kerry never expected or asked Vincent to start doing this when he came by for morning visits so it was always okay. “It’s fine, I’m starving and want caffeine. Up.” He said, and Vincent rolled off of him.

The rest of the day the rockers spent trying to figure out what their input had planned. Kerry had went to one class while Johnny went to the Afterlife to work and keep himself busy with band stuff. He got the text around seven to meet Vincent at his place, Kerry vibrating with excitement by the time they had pulled into the parking lot.

‘Meet me on the roof’, the sign on the door read, along with little hearts. Kerry smiled and dragged Johnny up the back stairs since the elevator didn’t go that high. And neither of them were prepared for what was on the other side.

Fairy lights had been strung up around the roof area, making a faint romantic glow around the roof, and some how making it look beautiful, a rarity in Night City. A small picnic of pizza and Johnny and Kerry’s favorite beer had been set out, on top of a blanket and some lawn chairs around. The only thing missing from this beautiful set up was the one that did it.

“Happy Valentine’s Day.” A voice said quietly from behind them, making them both jump. How the fuck was that kid so quiet! “You like?” Vincent was dressed in his usual ,‘lover boy’ as Nancy called it, flannel and ripped jeans. Good because Kerry was literally in a cut up tank top and Johnny in his busted leather jacket.

“Baby this is amazing!” Kerry was always a sucker for romantic gestures. He pulled their input in first for a deep kiss, Johnny still looking around. He couldn’t believe someone had gone through all this trouble just for them.

“J? You like?” Vincent asked hopefully. Johnny nodded, pulling him into a deep kiss as well. He’d never say it out loud, but the kiss was enough to show his appreciation for what Vincent had done for them. When they pulled apart, Vincent was grinning.

“Let’s eat, I’m starving and it’s definitely gonna get cold if we just make out all night.” Vincent pulled them both over to the area and smiled. Even in Night City, this boy had managed to make something beautiful out of all of it.

[mejomonster]

So I started Tomb of the Sea again:

Ok so. I went in fresh instead of "craving" more of a specific dmbj thing and I think it made me much more open to it

I actually love how it opens a ton. Li Cu's life is given to us and it's a hot fucking mess. He and one of his only friends are 2/3 who failed the college entrance exam. His dad is so nightmarish he's got claustrophobia (and learned how to Pick Locks which I'm sure will be useful later). He skips class and is glad his mom ran and I wish he could too ;-;

His "best" friend Su Wan stalks girls with cameras so lmao he Ain't A Good kid, but he is a Rich Kid and puts up with Li Cu since they got a special "wtf are we doing" energy so at least Li Cu's got A friend. Questionable friend. But Su Wan seems open to helping friends and warm despite some Yikes immaturity levels and Yikes choices so li cu can you just run away to live with him?

The girl friend Shen Qiong? I forgot her name sorry you know who I mean. Now with fresh eyes, I really like the 2 bogs "liking her' and the little rivalry about it. That Li Cu seems to like her in the sense of Sincerely caring maybe deeper than Su Wan. But on the other hand Su Wan definitely wants to kiss her more lmao. The 3 of them scream friends since childhood and I picture them as sora riku Kairi now (but who is who I'm not sure). The Little friends with a crush inside the friendgroup plot feels so NICELY like a different genre - like Go Ahead or something that's realism slice of life so parents are potentially abusive or life's fucking Heavy sometimes, but they're still TEENS who care most about avoiding punishment and talking to crushes and being silly alone with friends. It's a taste of what "genre' I guess Li Cu's life would've been if he never intersected the tomb raiders. A dark heavy realism piece like The Bond (starring Bai Yu). But with that human simple joy of friends/found family in the bright spots.

On that note: they paint a picture of how grungy and miserable Li Cu's negative aspects of life are and that works SO WELL. Wu Xies life before tomb raiding? We get the sense Maybe his parents were sometimes absent, and definitely coddled him and picked a life path NOT like the Wu family's and tried to push him. And the whole San Shu abandonment/codependency thing wu xie developed ToT. But overall wu xies family had good money, sent him to a good college, he was perfectly smart, could get his own business, he had friends (although his penchant for tombs means he transitioned to more killer/criminal types over time lol). He had a very nice easygoing civilian life before things went to shit when San shu left him. He craved Excitement, knowledge, danger, curiosity. But he wasn't running from anything and his life would not have been "worse" had he never went into tomb raiding (he'd lack his loved ones who are tomb raiders of course but u know what I mean - he wouldn't know he was missing those friendships). His biggest pain if he'd kept to civilian life (and enjoyed it - but he didnt) would've been his fucking uncle San abandoning him and his pain at not going to look for him. That'd be mostly it though. But LI CU? Even a person kidnapping him is preferable to the 24 hours he goes through in the first ep.

Li Cus apartment window faces a fucking wall, he's got claustrophobia and his dad locks him in, his college prospects are dead in the water, his best friend/crush is going off to college (more on her later), his friends still around keep getting into fights so he's beat up at like 12 midnight with them, his teacher keeps calling his dad increasing the abuse from that, he's broke, his moms gone and he clearly loves her so he's missing her. He IS the kind of protagonist who'd want to leave for any New Life. He loves his friends but if they're taken he'd have NO reason to remain, even with his friends he'd likely leave his dad if given Any decent opportunity like a job with money. Unlike Wu Xie, Li Cu doesn't leave for adventure or trying to find a loved one (San shu), Li Cu is instead trapped and it TAKES absolutely batshit events to "free" him which just put him in a new trap of kidnapping. It's just Very Cool to me to see the contrast.

And to END the ep with Wu Xie saying his name, revealing he's the kidnapper and the spies are his. The stabber who harmed Li Cu was HIS guy. I love the flip from wu xie usually being painted as the shiny kindhearted (somewhere in there) adventurous young man, to this shady cruel (in Li Cu's opinion the source of EVEN WORSE than his ordinary life) man who echoes San shu. It must've been fun to set that up.

The girl. Sheng Qiong?? OK I'm just curious if in another Novel it mentions she ALEEADY went tomb raiding. Or something. It seems Iike she went with wu xie (or other tomb raiders) people while on "vacation travelling" then maybe stole their magic tentacle monster box and. Who the Fuck knows why she gave it to Li Cu... either she hoped to hide it with him, or she intentionally wanted to hurt him (I assume she just wanted to hide it). But yeah she seems to know WAY more about the tomb side of shit. I'm curious if we'll find out more.

TENTACLE MONSTERS WHAT DID I SAY. I still LOVE this shows opening. I love the body horror of the mini version jumping into li cu. I love how genuinely SCARY tomb of the sea is compared to some other dmbj seasons. It looks good, the action looks good, the horror looks good and LANDS <3

The pacing is good so far thank fuck (I'll drift away if pacing tanks tbh)

Ep 1 is Li Cu's no good very bad day THEN when you thought it couldn't get worse it turns out it's just a Normal day for him, and then spies come in so it's Action Adventure now instead of teen slice of life realism, THEN a tentacle monster shows up jumps into him and its HORROR then the guy fucking STABS HIM AND THEN WANG MENG KIDNAPS HIM (go you wang meng you were very intimidating and <3 love u I hope u get paid more. Love the show implying wang meng is so hot he makes doctors forget their oaths). Like... it sure does ESCALATE into a terrifying nightmare esque situation and I love thattttt

[drowninnoodles]

get unfinished writing in ur inbox'd!

The storm

Bzzt… Bzzt… Bzzt… My phone was buzzing. It was probably the nook miles app, i had just caught a bug- Oh wait. No, its my actual phone. Silly me. Itll stop buzzing in a second, then i can get back to playing. But it didnt stop. I went over and picked it up, and it was another emergency alert. This is what, the third this year? A stark contrast from the 0 in the past maybe 3 years. And its only february. The alert is so long, it barely fits on my screen. It says that a cyclone is coming, which i knew,  that there would be high winds, which i also knew, but theres also a paragraph saying that schools will be closed. Why on earth they would feel the need to bug someone with something like this is a mystery to me. It’s nigh-impossible to miss anything about the storms these days, especially after that time. My parents say its to keep everyone safe, but its getting far to annoying. Before getting back to my game, I switch my phone to do not disturb. I bet everyone will be freaking out about it.

However, even after silencing the phone, I still hear a buzzing sound. I look around the room looking for the source of the sound. As I get closer to my closet, the sound gets louder

I put my ear to the closet and listen.

"Hello?" I hear a quiet voice in the closet

"Barry?" Someone answers

"Adam?"

Oan you believe this is happening?

I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here.

- You got lint on your fuzz.

- Ow! That's me!

- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.

- Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!

- Hey, Adam.

- Hey, Barry.

- Is that fuzz gel?

- A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different.

- Hi, Barry.

- Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.

- Hear about Frankie?

- Yeah.

- You going to the funeral?

- No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances.

- Well, Adam, today we are men.

- We are!

- Bee-men.

- Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times.

- Wonder what it'll be like?

[rigil-kentauris]

tw unresolved whining

so i had to cancel my writing ai subscription today because i found out they were doing images and its just making me reflect. i dont use it so i didnt notice, i mostly just wanted to tool to grow and mature. it was like my one indulgence. anyway. i wasnt involved with ai writing tools at the the BEGINNING beginning, but i was definitively there before All This. and i remember having never been so excited in my life about writing. i hadnt actually had fun writing in years, i realized (went to college for creative writing degree, for reference. like this was supposed to be my whole ass Life).

and i felt so hopeful, because it seemed to me that this was the perfect tool for me personally. it filled in all the parts of me i struggle with because of Depression and Exhaustion and We Live In A Society disease. im not sure whether or not i was using it like it was supposed to be used back then (definitely not how its supposed to be used now), but it reall felt like having a dance partner. we went back and forth sentence by sentence (sometimes word by word), making something that pushed and challenged me because it would 'write' things that i wouldnt have even considered. and i could go off of that one word or turn of phrase for paragraphs. until i got stuck. and i suppose you could get that if you wrote with another human being, which could be cool, but it was also a paradoxically safe space. sometimes you dont want to write extremem trauma whump angst with other people and i think thats okay

and it was fun. and there were issues. but it was okay

and then the art bots came.

and i felt... angry, obviously, on behalf of all the artists who were getting jacked. but i was also... pissed off. because all of a sudden people hated AIs for theft unilaterally (a good thing to be mad about) but they hadnt given a shit before. back when it was writing. because i am also a writer of normal human works. on places where content was being scrapped from. and all of a sudden there was a new cultural norm, at least in the circles i cared to be in, and no one cared about writers. at all. in fact to date ive only seen one post/piece about ai theft of text and i went out looking for that.

and it was like. i hadnt thought about the datasets before, not really. no one thinks of this is stealing (fiction) writers jobs. its only just now, like the past couple months just now, becoming a talked about problem because it steals journalists and REAL writers jobs. academic jobs. serious good people. not nasty little fiction writers. much less poets i am not a poet but i have never ever seen anyone talking about ais taking jobs from poets. and they can. people who think ai cant write mostly, i think, dont know how to use them correctly. (then again i also think people who think they CAN write fall under the same umbrella, so... ai writing programs have. problems as unique spottable and predictable as image ais adding an extra finger.)

anyway at the time, though, i hadnt really thought about tet theft in datasets. back then you really had to KNOW what generative ais were to understand what was going on. no one was explaining except to other people who got it. and of the people who got it, no one was talking about it. i wish they had been. obviously we are all of us individually responsible for our participation in society but. why wasnt anyone talking about it before? why is it okay to steal someones words? or at least, passable. why is it still passable?

it just makes me feel things. and i dont have any answers. besides that writing AIs should be the EASIEST thing in the world to fix. unlike with art, the public domain for written fiction is both massive and still popular. as in, people will use an AI trained on older writing whereas AFAICT, the only ai image makers that make money need to mass-steal anime and pop art. no one's arguing about Ye Olde Oil Painting Ai.

i dunno. it feels. odd. because obviously i cant support a place that steals. but i feel some kind of emotion about dropping a tool that made me feel connected to writing again, in order to support a (good and important) fight that doesnt seem to care about writers at all

i dont have any resolution. just upsetness. i wish we could use this tool for all the good its capable of. instead right now its just a big theft machine.

one day with the march of tech i guess we'll be able to run beasts like these on our own, and then i think we'll see more ethical options. it just sucks in the meantime.