#if you havent read my update post that i did a few days ago. my wisdom teeth are coming in and i am dying

[sparatus]

prommy i'll update at least one of my fics soon or post a one-shot, i'm working on the rise & reign rewrite that won't be released until april next year (for its 10th birthday!!) but also i just straight up don't have brain cells available that aren't dedicated to aaaa my face etc etc right now the creativity will resume at some point post-op

[cinnaminsvga]

heyy I read like all your fics in 2020 and had such a blast and your smaus had lasting impacts on me, my humor, the way I speak, etc. And I am still a die hard army but I don't read bts fanfic much anymore (long story short I went back to writing merlin fanfiction like I did in 2014). Anyways, I reread a few of your fics and showed one of my friends and we had so much fun! I think tddup deserves an oscar or a pulitzer prize or whatever because it's so good. I'm so glad to see you're still active because you're one of my favorite and most memorable fic writers in the 10 years and 5 fandoms I've read and written fic for! <3

THIS IS SO SWEET WHAT THE HECK!! omg im happy you enjoyed my old fics/smaus enough to reread them with your friend like this made my day :') especially tddup, which was honestly such a blast to write like i remember so clearly how awesome it was to post updates all those years ago... i havent read it in a bit so idk if the jokes still land in 2024, but if at least one person enjoys it, then that's good enough for me lmao

thank you for stopping by!! i also don't read as many bts fics these days but knowing that you thought to reread my works is such an awesome feeling :D it makes me wanna write even more... i'm admittedly not as active as i used to be, but i do visit my blog from time to time!! it's people like you that make it all worthwhile <3 thank you for your high praise and i hope you have a wonderful day ;w;

[sunflouwerhabit]

hii! it's me again! I wrote to you here a few weeks ago and I just noticed that you have replied and like 😭 you are so sweet and I absolutely loved your long and rambly reply, thank you so much for taking your time with it.

in regard to what you said:

louis' character in It's Fine To Fake It Til You Make It is soooo good, I keep thinking back to that fic and to him and I feel like he's so singular, the characterisation really sticks out, you did such a great job!!

also, I used to like Snow On The Beach but since I've read your fic I became REALLY obsessed with the song like why did they write "My smile is like a won contest// And to hide that would be so dishonest" AND THOUGHT THAT WAS OK??? as if I wouldn't combust every time I hear it. ANYWAYSSSS

Evermore is The storytelling masterpiece I mean I love The love triangle as much as the next person and folklore is obviously amazing but taylor really exceeded herself with evermore like every single song is a tale and I love that. I totally agree with you, it is really inspiring.

"winter four is their reason to keep fighting and it's so special" I AGREE SM, that winter was just so perfect, it still warms my heart 💙

ANYWAY in the meantime I've read "down the line" (I finished a few weeks ago) AND I LOVED IT (perhaps I just really love everything you write). THE SLOW BURN WAS SO GOOD like sisksksk the way that Harry has a crush on Louis so early on is so cute compared to how Louis is like "I 😡 dislike 😡 this 😡 man 😡 that 😡 I 😡cannot😡take😡my😡eyes😡off😡and😡who😡so😡PURPOSELY😡hit😡my😡knee😡SOOO😡MUCH😡😡 also 😡 have 😡 i 😡 mentioned 😡 he 😡 has 😡 dimples? 😡 DIMPLES😡" sjsjsj also I loved Louis SO MUCH??? I want to be his friend. And I REALLY WANT TO GO TO CLEVELAND. your description of places/locations always makes me want to go to visit them. it's insane but everything seems so idyllic and has a certain stillness (or sadness?) that makes me want to DIVE!! into them. and that's that on your great descriptive skills.

Something that I reaaaaally loved about this fic though was the side characters! The team definitely felt like a little family (I loved Micah and James) and their dynamic was so heartwarming plus THE PRANKS AND FAB FIVE AND WATCHING AVENGERS IN HOTEL ROOMS 😭 i just loved loved reading this. 

i havent started the extra innings (yet!) but I'm really excited to see some things from Harry's pov, he was probably my favourite character (I loved Louis A LOT and I related to him so much sometimes but there was something about harry that was so amusing, he's a comfort character for me).

Anyway, I actually started writing this now because I JUST SAW THAT YOU POSTED WRITE THIS DOWN (FROM THE VAULT) AND I'M SCREAMING. I COULD NOT BELIEVE MY EYES WHEN I SAW IT. I'M STILL SMILING WHILE LOOKING AT AO3 TO CONFIRM THAT IT'S NOT A DREAM CAUSE LIKE. AAAA. I'm so excited to read it. I still haven't but like. "they are so in love it is sickening" is perhaps the best tag ever. AAAA. ok. perhaps I will stop screaming and just read it instead but I'm sooo happy that you decided to explore this universe even more and I'm sooo thankful. I just can't wait for future updates and such. 

I!LOVE!YOU! I hope you have a great day & weekend and that your creative juices flow splendidly :) thank youuuu soo much for blessing us with your writing!!! take care! :)

HIIIIIIIIIIIIII :'))))))))))))) ohmygod i am back after a LONG pause and you must know that your messages literally make my entire life they are so sweet and wonderful and AHHHHHHHHHH. i'm just so happy you love my louis in it's fine to fake it, and also that my little fic could help you love snow on the beach a little more??? i was also not the biggest sotb fan when it first came out (but i LOVE lana and the version with more of her is my favorite) but it is lyrically just so ......... taylor???? "time can't stop me quite like you did" ???? INSTANT TEARS ???? it's so BEAUTIFUL AND ROMANTIC AND MELANCHOLIC and !!!!!!! one of taylor's best track fours like. GOD.

also. just. i am an evermore truther so i am always here to give that album and its storytelling alllll the accolades!! folklore is #3 in my taylor album rankings like she is beautiful and perfect but evermore is just. my entire soul wrapped up in 17 tracks (hence an entire fic based on one of my favorite songs on the album hehehe)

BUT ANYWAYYYYYYY- ONTO DOWN THE LINE!!!!!! :') so full disclosure, i am so proud of every single one of my fics and my characters, but down the line is just my absolute baby. it's so special to me and i am SO happy you love it tooooo!!!!!! that description of louis is SO REAL IM SCREAMING SLDJFASDJFASF i call the first 2 chapters of DTL "louis' hater era" 😭😭😭 just a bro hating his bro while also falling asleep cuddling him and waxing poetics about how stunningly beautiful he is lasdjfalsdfasf

BUT ALSO- OMG ABSOLUTELY COME TO CLEVELAND. IT'S MY FAVORITE PLACE IN THE WORLD!!!!!!!! i love writing little love letters to my city, and i will always always always be promoting the cleveland agenda! "idyllic, still, pangs of sadness" is just so cleveland and the rust belt!!!! and i'm so happy you loved the spider's dynamic, too! they're unapologetically my favorite team EVER (sorry, guards!) and my favorite thing about the innings is that i get tp explore other team members more and it's just... so fun. i feel warm and fuzzy whenever i think about my spideys!!! and i hope you enjoy the innings, if/when you start them! they're so much fun for me. my goal is 9 a year (because of COURSE!). and i also LOVEEEEEE down the line harry!!!! i can't wait to hear your thoughts and also i can't wait to write dtl (harry's version!)

BUT HAHSADLHFSDFHASDFHASDF OHMYGOD GETTING THIS IN REAL TIME WHEN YOU WERE REACTING TO THE VAULT CHAPTER IS MAKING ME LAUGH SO HARD. I HOPE YOU ENJOYED!!!! WRITE THIS DOWN IS BACK!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!! i think you have another message after this one reacting specifically to it, so i shall leave this here and just say again that i love you and also. just. thank you so much?????? :'))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[iwadori]

When they neglect you for another girl Part 4 (Sakusa)

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five

Word Count: 2.6K

Genre: Angst to Fluff

masterlist

AN: YES I DID PUT MYSELF IN THIS STORY! SUE ME. This is basically inspired by a random conversation i had w the great @teesumu, so this is basically for you doll <3

Sakusa:

You and Sakusa have been together for a around 10 years and love eachother immensly.    

However recently Sakusa has been busy and you havent really had much time together lately as he claims been busy doing loads of visits with his new agent.

But of course, being the loving partner you are you wanted to revive the spark in your relationship.

You have been seeing a lot of people on social media posting their aesthetic ‘picnic dates,’ and you knew that this was something that appealed to you before it was ‘on trend.’ Kiyoomi immediately came to your mind once you had the idea of going on a date. You knew that you haven’t be around each other lately, as Kiyoomi always had either a ‘meeting’ or some sort of ‘interview’ that his new agent “Empress” has set up for him.

You didn’t really know Empress that well, just that she was ‘good at her job,’ a ‘hard and dilligent worker,’ and a ‘raging hottie’ with Atsumu’s opinion being the last one. You weren’t suspecting her to have any malicious intent towards you or Kiyoomi, since you knew that he had a great judge of character. But it was just odd, that every time Kiyoomi was running late or having ‘super-secret’ conversations on the phone it was always because ‘my agent set up this,’ ‘my agent set up that,’ and that’s what left you a bit wary.

As you were scrolling through your phone you see a calendar updating saying : Next Week‘ A DECADE AGO WE FELL IN LOVE.’  

10 years. How could you forget? You and Omi have literally been together for a decade. You think back to the decade of madness and love you’ve been through together, smiling fondly to yourself but then you think about where you are now... barely even talking to each other, only mainly seeing him when he comes home from work.

You need to fix this. Or at least make an attempt to get you and Kiyoomi talking again. So, the only thing you can do, is plan that picnic.

You spent the rest of the day planning your anniversary picnic. ’It’s going to be great,’ you think to yourself, you have a list of all Omi’s favorite foods you're going to make him and bring and you are probably going to pick up a few board games and maybe even get some paint supplies. You and Kiyoomi used to paint a lot together, with the two of you not being the best of painters, but you enjoyed eachothers company non the less.  

Everything was sorted...for the most part. All you needed to do was get Omi there, and it’ll all be okay. Right? As you were bubbling and looking for more picnic inspo, you hear your front door open which made you even more excited to tell your boyfriend your plans.  

As you rush to go greet him, you see he’s on the phone making you roll your eyes. “No Empress it won’t work, we need this sorted by next week. Okay? Next week.” he says in an agitated way. He hangs up the phone and sighs, shoving off his duffel bag.

“Hey Omi, how was your day?” you say a bit hesitant, noticing his annoyed mood.  

“Fine” He said dismissively, aiming to walk past you aiming for your bedroom.

“Oh well I have something amazing planned for ne-” you try to say following after him.

“Can we not do this right now Y/N,” he says again turning too look at you making you frown a bit, all you wanted to do is surprise him with your plans and have a day out with him. After noticing your sad look he finishes with “it’s just that Empress she’s bee-”

“I don’t want to hear about her.” you say bitterly folding your arms, Empress is the last person you want to hear about right now “God Omi can’t you just care about me? For once.”

“I do I-”

“You don’t anymore,” you say, with all the emotions and feelings you’ve been just supressing from a while coming up. You don’t even know how you got from point A to B with this conversation, but there's no stopping now. “I feel that, for a while now we haven’t been how we were before when we were just Y/N and Kiyoomi. Instead of how we are now. Just Y/N. Then Kiyoomi and Empress.”

After hearing his agents name, Kiyoomi’s name contorts to confusion “Empress? What does she have to do with anything?”

“How can you not see? For the past month all it’s been is ‘Empress this’ ‘Empress that,’” you complain “Having your super secret conversations with her, like god Kiyoomi can’t you see a problem with this?”  

“It’s not like that Y/N, we’re just work partners” he says looking a bit annoyed “Just business.”

 “Just business? So Kiyoomi, what were you talking about on the phone earlier” you say with your voice slight accusingly.

“Umm I, I can’t really say?” he says more of a question then a fully assured statement. You squint your eyes at him and scoff.

“What is going on with you Omi?” you say “are you cheating on me with her is that it?”

“No, no of course not Y/N! How could you even ask that?” he frowned at your question making your chest hurt, since deep down you knew he could never do that to you. Could he?

“Well tell me then, what were you talking about?” you ask again.

“I can’t say..” he finishes  

“Well I can’t stay.” you say and his face goes back to confusion “Here. With you.”

“What do you mean Y/-”

“I need a break or something. I just can’t be here right now.” You start to rush and pack a big of things whilst Kiyoomi just stands there.

After you pack up your stuff, you look back and see Kiyoomi just there. Standing. You were upset, you kind of wanted him to rush after you and beg you not to leave, but he was just there. Standing. So you put the hand on the door and just before you leave you turn back and say “bye Sakusa, see you later?” to which you see him slightly nod at.

When the door shut, Kiyoomi starts to cry. After hearing you call him by his last name really twisted the knife that was already in his heart. You haven’t called him that since you were like 15. He knew what you wanted; he knew you wanted him to rush towards you and beg you not to leave, but he didn’t. He couldn’t. But what he could do is call the one person he only could call.

After a few rings, he hears “What do you need Saku?”  

“She’s gone, she left.”

“What do you mean she’s gone, did you tell her?”  

“No I didn’t tell her. And that’s the problem, Empress she think-”

“Saku, don’t worry about it. I’ll handle it.”

“You’ll handle it?”

“Don’t I always?”

He couldn’t argue with that, he just had to trust that Empress could sort it. “And also, don’t spend the week with your head up your ass crying, you’ve got a lot of grovelling to do kiddo.”

He nodded even though she couldn’t see him, as he knew that what just went down needed to be resolved, fast.

Meanwhile, on your end. You’re a mess. Sobbing all the time, tissues are your best friend, you’ve been waiting just waiting for a message or a call, or some form of communication. You just wanted to feel wanted by your boyfriend (can you even call him that now.)  

You spent the rest of the week at your parents, immersing yourself in your work and doing ‘self care’ things, trying to forget all about the argument you and Kiyoomi had.  

One day, you receive a letter, it wasn’t delivered by a mail man though. It was slid under your door, in a golden envelope sealed with a red hot wax seal. It read:

‘Dear Y/N,

My sweetheart, im sorry for how the week has been and I know a letter with only a fraction of how I feel won’t make up for how I acted that day. But im inviting you to join me at the Gardenia Botanical Gardens at 2 pm tommorow, to celebrate our 10 year anniversary.  

I know there is a big chance, you may not want to see me and I understand but please. I love you, so so much, that words can’t even describe. But I need you to see me apologise and I need to make it up to you.  

I hope to see you there, I’d wait the whole day for you. If you don’t show, I understand.

Sincerely, Sakusa Kiyoomi

P.S The theme is ‘summer hot day, tea with the queen’ - Atsumu’

You smile at the letter, but wonder if you should actually go or not. You did want to see him of course and get this all resolved, but you had your own plans for your anniversary which wouldn’t of been spoiled if he didn’t withhold his super-secret phone calls.

It took you hours to contemplate on what to do, but you decided to just sleep on it and see how you feel tomorrow. In the morning, you knew what you wanted to do. Of course, you had to go, at least to hear him out and see if he really did cheat on you or not. For all you know he’s inviting you to tell you that he’s going to run away with his agent and his secret kids they had together. You shook the negative thoughts from your head and just repeated your mantra ‘hope for the best and prepare for the worst.’

When you got there, you didn’t exactly know where he would be but he said ‘botanical gardens’ so of course you decided to just wander around there. It was nice walking around and just smelling the roses, and seeing the pretty scenery.  

“Excuse me ma’am,” you hear someone say tugging on your leg “um that mister over there told me to give you these.” Looking down, you see a small boy who looked about the age of four with a crumpled up bunch of roses handing them to you.

“Oh thank you,” you say giving the kid a head pat “where is this ‘mister’ might I ask?”

“He’s over there!” The kid pointed behind him and you look to see Kiyoomi sitting under a white gazebo which is surrounded in your favorite flowers and the table is filled with food.

You walk over to your ‘boyfriend,’ with him not noticing your present yet. When you reach him you say “I think she stood you up buddy,” you joke making him jump abit startled.

“Y/N!” he exclaimed, instantly beaming “You came you made it!” he stood up and pulled you into a hug, which you return before you remember why you came here in the first place.

“Oh I-” he says awkwardly

You decide to sit down pulling him down with you. You kind of sit there in uncomfortable silence, for a while until you both say.

“So I-”

“What are yo-”

You both laughed at your simultaneous comments, before Kiyoomi looks at you letting you speak. “What did you want to bring me here for?”

“I didn’t want, what happened last week to happen Y/N I-” he says looking a bit panicked “It wasn’t supposed to go this way.”

“Then how was it meant to go Sakusa.”

“Y/N, please don’t call me that, I know I made you upset but pleas-” he starts before getting distracted again “Y/N, I called you here to say a few things..”

“Them being.?” you ask a bit impatiently.

“I love you. I love you so much, you don’t even understand. Ever since I saw you at my volleyball game in our first year, in the stands just cheering us on. I knew that from that day, after I scored the winning point and our eyes met, that we were destined to be together. I just love you so much Y/N”

“Omi I don’t understand I-”

“Just let me finish please, It’s taken a while for me to say this. And trust me, there’s been so many times when I wanted to just say ‘hey Y/N let’s get married,’ but I couldn’t I was scared, and I wanted it to be perfect, so perfect. Because you deserve the world Y/N. That’s why I got Empress to help, I know that our conversations may seem odd, but I love you and she knows that she just wanted to help trust me. And she did, all this wouldn’t of been done if it wasn’t for her. But anyways Y/N what I waned to say was I love you and I love you and I-” he rambles on loosing track of his words.  

But in the midst of his speech, you hear all that you needed and responded with the only way you can.

“Yes.” you say simply, with a growing smile on your face.

“Yes?” he repeats confused “What do you meann ye- ohhh" Kiyoomi blushes embarrased that after all that he ended up ruining the thought out proposal he wanted to give you with his ramble.

“Im sorry Y/N, I didn’t mean to say it like that I wanted it to be perfect and I-”

You shut him up with a kiss making his eyes widen as he reciprocates it anyways.  

“What did she say?” you hear someone shout from a far, and you look over to see the MSBY Jackals all standing there with shit eating grins on their faces.

“I said yes!” you yell back, to which they all cheer and rush towards you guys giving you both hugs and slapping Kiyoomi on the back.  

As the boys celebrate Omi finnally do what he’s been planning for ages, you get approached by Empress who awkwardly walks up to you. “ I didn’t want to leave the impression that me and Saku were any sort of thing?” she says

“Yeah I think it was definitely a big misunderstanding, it’s just that Omi was never around and whenever he was he was just talking to you and you know how it is.”

“I definitely know, I’d feel the same way if my boyfriend did that to me.”

“Oooh boyfriend?” you ask her feeling nosey on her romantic life.  

“Yeah boyfriend. You know iwaizumi hajime... the trainer?” she says smiling a bit when she said his name.

“The trainer! Nice.”

The rest of the night was fun and was basically an engagement party for you and Omi all you and friends just partying and celebrating yours and Omi’s love for each other. “Omi” you say getting his attention “Happy ten year anniversary babe”

“Happy anniversary, I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

After the party you spend your months now planning for a big fat wedding, with the help of your new found bestie, Empress (who you obviously misjudged from the start.) You and Omi could never be happier, every thing was back to how it was before, maybe even better. And you definitely spent at least two Saturdays a month going out for picnics and it was now a tradition in your relationship, so in the end you did get your ‘aesthetic picnic date.’

AN: WHAT DID U GUYS THINK??

[xnchxntmxnt]

Welcome to the party!

I hope you're ready for a fun time! I'm very happy everyone could make it and you all look great. More on the party later, I have a few words to say first.

I started this blog a year ago today after having barely any idea what the hell I was doing. All I knew is my wonderful friend Poe got me into a new anime and I'd absolutely fallen in love with it. I'd had a love of writing since I was ten, and I thought it was time to put that talent to use.

Words cannot describe how happy I am to still be active. I may not be as active as I once was, and I cannot update once a week like I used to, but I still appreciate all the support I get nonetheless.

Since then I've made so many friends, met so many people, got into new things and done things I never thought I would. I could talk for hours about all the friends I have because I love them all, but I'll try to keep these short so we can get to the more fun part...

@emswordss you were my first mutual and we still talk almost every day and that makes me so, so happy. you're so incredible and i'm happy i could be part of the journey you're on and help you with the crazy shit that is teenage years.

@domestic-void/@nekomas-kuroo my second mutual ever! i am so glad you let me write that lev fic its still the longest fic i've ever written for this (besides that one selfship thing but we aren't counting that)

@shoyotime/@miyamours my first wife <33 we havent talked in a while but i remember how much we did especially when i was first starting out. thanks for all the confidence boosts and all the weird conversations <3

@shirari we havent talked in so long !!! how are you? i don't know if you're really active anymore but i feel badcwe kinds lost touch

@ellesmain/@ellewords I MISS YOUUU ik finals suck i do but i miss seeing you on my dash!!! need my big sister once in a while yk <3 i hope finals are going well and that you're doing ok too! mayeb by the time you're back I'll have another taylor swift cover for you

@maizumis i havent seen you online in forever either !! we gotta talk soon!

@possiblypoe THE OG!!! this brilliant person got me into haikyuu it's her fault you all have to deal with me. poe you are so so so so so incredible and i KNOW how long you've been waiting for your matchup so go read and text me/send and ask and tell me your thoughts!!! love you (/p)

@mysterystarz/@nekonovs wife #2!!! thanks for being the crackhead in my discord dms over the summer /j. no but actually i know we dont talk as much as we did over the summer, mostly because we're both busy, but youre so amazing really. thank you for all the late night conversations and the akaashi brainrot

@k-kazvha i think you were my first genshin moot?? also happy late birthday!!! have fun dancing the night away with diluc. i said some of this yesterday on your birthday but i am SO glad we met you're so funny and honestly great to talk to. i ma not always comment on it but your posts make me laugh a lot (usually the shitposts). you're an incredibly talented writer thank you for being amazing

@rqkuya you literally know all my ocs in and out and you're so so so incredible to talk to about them. you always ahve the funniest one-liners and little ideas to add, and no matter how much you yell at me for throwing angst at them, you love me for it anyway. thank you so so much for making me feel like i always have someone to talk to about anything (usually characters, but even serious things) tor.

@merciemer DAD !! high key you're very like an older brother for me and i talk about you deadass all the time. you give me gender envy a LOT (but in a great way) and youre so pretty in like the most gnc way possible. you're absolutely hilarious and i feel my own parent friend instincts kick in once in a while when we talk but its because i care i swear <3

@animated-moon my fellow tendou simp. we really need to sit down and watch howl's moving castle one of these days. i'm still proud of that tendou fic for you i wrote not too long ago (or maybe it was, i have no perception of time) but it was really fun to write and you're just. so much fun to talk to we really need to talk more bc youre a riot in the best way ever

@kage7ama ANGEL THAT INTRODUCED ME TO THAT SONG— ok i still scream sing that and in the back of my head im thankng you for showing it to me i LOVE it thank you. i was so worried when you deactivated but its ok bc i got the new url <33

@kodzukoi ANOTHER ONE WHO HEARS ABOUT MY OCS i am so glad you're as into sk8 as i am (or almost, idk) and know that langa is giving u a forehead kiss rn. as am i (/p). but you're so easy to talk to and constantly reminding me that im not talking too much which i appreciate also you give the best compliments. jun kinnie (affectionate)

@rudolphsboyfriend AAAAA I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU TO READ UR MATCHUP URS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITES. but youre so talented like what the hell??? talented voice, talented writer, my irls hear about you all the time jfc i need to shut up about you sometimes. but yeah i just think you're super awesome man

@sunalma i missed you on my dash !!! im glad youre back though even if it's not as much. fun fact: i was SO SCARED to talk to you for so long but the more time went on the more time i got over myself and tried not to hit the send button on inbox asks and throw my phone to the other end of my bed

@miyagem LAST BUT NOT LEAST i think youre my newest mutual??? we talk a decent amount though so i already call u my friend <33 i definitely need to bother you more tho its fun youre great to talk to

that should be everyone its everyone in my notes w an emoji at least. if i forgot you i swear i didn't mean to !!!!

and an extra extra shoutout to all my anons + anyone who just likes to interact, even if through reblogs! ur messages/tags/anything else mean the world to me !! your support is mostly why i keep doing this and i wouldn't have hit 1 year if not for you.

nOW THAT THE SAPPY STUFF IS OVER BACK TO ME WRITING PROFESSIONALLY

quick preface: when in doubt assume everyone is 22. i don't care how that affects the plot of the original story your character is from, everyone is 22 so we can all drink champagne (if you choose). carry on

The night opens in a giant, golden, open ballroom, perfectly set white tables taking up a decent amount of room. Other tables line the walls, all covered in food (all with various coverings on it so it doesn't get too cold). Come in, take a seat wherever you like. Dinner starts soon.

The room is quiet, save the chatter of people finding seats. Three people stand in the center of the room with various kinds of musical nstruments—L, in the center, (@rudolphsboyfriend my beloved) Blue to their side and Semi Eita on their other. All three are smiling, however L is the most, seeing everyone make their entrances.

Once everyone is seated, he explains: one of his biggest passions is music and he has two incredibly talented friends that agreed to play with him for the first part of the night, then dinner, then the rest of the party as everyone pleases.

They make a speech about how appreciative they are for everyone (see above for that) and the three of them play their set. Music kicks on, they announce dinner is open, and the rest of the night is yours for the choosing.

Do enjoy and tell me how spend your time!

Event Content!

playlist for the night

✧ drabbles ✧

@merciemer - dancing with matsukawa issei @kage7ama - people watching with diluc ragnvindr @animated-moon - eating dessert with tendou satori @rqkuya - xiao (yours didn't get a name but i swear its for good reason) @terushimatwinn - balcony conversations with miya atsumu @kodzukoi - car conversations with langa hasegawa

✧ matchups ✧

for @emswordss ✧✧✧ for @keijinn ✧✧✧ for anon ✧✧✧ for @duckymcdoorknob ✧✧✧ for @possiblypoe ✧✧✧ for @rudolphsboyfriend ✧✧✧ for 🌱 anon ✧✧✧

✧ other additions ✧

my evening with kaoru sakurayashiki

If you didn't get a chance to participate and want to (or you did, and want to add onto what I came up with), please do! Send it in as a submission or inbox message, or just tag me in a post you make! I'd love to add it to the main post!

Only rule about this is you cannot double characters. There are a few taken already, but if you would like to participate, please choose someone else that hasn't been listed in one of the drabbles/matchups to save everyone the confusion.

Thank you all so much again. I could not have done this all without you and I appreciate everyone that follows and interacts with me more than you all know. I hope to do something like this next year around this time if life permits. Other than that, get a drink, some dancing in, talk to new people—the night is yours! Enjoy the party.

[surviving---not---living]

What the fuck do I do?...

**tw emotional/physical abuse mentions**

posted this on reddit with different ages and such so he wont find it but he doesnt use tumblr so I wanted to post here to see if yall had some suggestions as well any help would be greatly appreciated or to just know someone read would also be enough... with that said I'll paste the post.

to start I'm 23f and the fiance is 38m

I have an idea of what i should do i just sincerely dont want to i dont want to leave him homeless and without money or a job...

but the last few months have me scared and confused...

(during arguments he let's me write down what's happening when I hear something that stands out to me in Hope's itll help me fix my behaviour i got from my parents so ive been able to write down exact wording on some things said) theres just so much going on...

to preface this hes never been physically abusive to me and thankfully it's not there yet. in his defense though i was raised very incorrectly due to shit parents and I have a lot of mental issues that cause self sabotage, delusional thinking- meaning If I personally believe something it usually takes a small war to get my mind to recognize im actually wrong, as well as terrible memory so if I do acknowledge I've done something wrong more often than not my head forgets what happened or what i even did wrong if anything and the next time it inevitably happens again I have no information to pull from to tell me what I did was wrong or why. so basically I'm kind of a fuck up, I'm doing my best to fix my shit but yeah my fiance has been dealing with all of that for 4 years now.

(*some minorly important issues

•he's been interrupting me not letting me finish what I'm saying and just outright changing the topic since we first got together, although wrong of me I started doing that as well because i saw no other way to be able to speak to him except even when I'm doing the exact same shit hes doing it seems like hes the only allowed to be upset.

•we were in an open relationship except he didnt follow the rules we agreed to one time and that broke my trust I had for him. we said no coworkers, we said only people we were both interested in we said no one that's taken and yet all of those got broken over an ugly bitch. and I still get shit for bringing it up to this day.

•he said that until I start prefacing all of my conversations with him he wont count any attempt I've made at talking to him about my problems. so basically everything I've tried talking to him about doesnt fucking matter and it doesnt fucking count. not even when I tried telling him 3 separate times I'm feeling suicidal to top it off everytime i mentioned it, it ended in an argument.

•he told me he got suicidal thoughts for the first time in 10 years due to me and honestly I didnt know how to fucking respond to that. it made me sad yeah but where was the care I needed when I brought up the same thing? where was his give a fuck hes supposed to show if he actually cares about me??

•he says he interrupts me because what I have to say is either false, not grounded in reality, or they're excuses. except he has little to no way of knowing any of that is true unless he hears me all the way out I could be agreeing with him and he still interrupts and gets pissed.

•I believe hes a hypocrite but he says nah hes only doing this because I'm doing bad.

•hes said multiple times that i wont see any improvement in him until he sees I've got my shit together. even though hes the one that caused the first problems in this relationship I'm supposed to be the first one to fix my shit? instead of both of us working on our shit together??? and when I ask those questions he responds with yes you are supposed to be the first one to fix your shit because I'm at the end of my rope and I wont take this anymore.)

but on to why I've been scared. this person told me he used to be abusive with an equally abusive ex for many reasons and after splitting up he vowed to never do that again and never end up like they did.

fast forward to our relationship and well a few months ago he told me he wanted to hit me and made it a point to say he wasnt going to but he really wanted to.

he said that because we were both in my car and he wanted to leave with the car except I wasnt going to get out of MY car so he started yelling, i got scared and left later on he told me that was the first time hes ever wanted to hit me and I should think about what it is I did to get him to that point. after that I left it alone for a month because things got a bit better and then came the next time he said he wanted to hit me. now I dont remember the reason for him saying it the second time but I wasnt going to let that slip as easily as the first so I spoke up about it and what he had to say about me telling him it made me scared of him to know he wanted to hit me was " well if you Weren't a coward, normally when someone says they want to hit you it's a signal that you're doing something so wrong that they want to hit you." and me knowing him i knew this was one of those times he just wasnt going to budge.

so on to the next argument.

he told me I'm the one who thrust those thoughts into him, that I'm the reason they ever came to be, I'm why the exist in the first place. and he doesnt seem to understand when I say that no I'm not the reason your head wants to hurt me they exist there because of your last relationship letting that be an option. he also said he keeps the option of abuse in his head with a line in front of it to remind him to never pass that line and he doesn't understand that keeping that idea in his head at all is not a good thing because now the option is available whether you want to take it or not and

he. just. kept. arguing. and defending.

now on to the last argument.

he says he wants me to stop putting him in a position to do all the thinking and decision making for me, when I've asked him multiple times to stop doing that because I want to do shit for myself and all he keeps saying is show me that you can actually think for yourself and I'll stop needing to do that. like motherfucker at least give me the time to make decisions or thoughts.

I know it's not his fault that I take longer to process things but he knows this fact and keeps expecting me to already have a response half a second later to something I'm barely registering 5 seconds after it happened and again yes I know its something I have to work on and I am but atm it's still an existing issue.

hes trying to call thinking for me and making decisions for me "a gift" (the exact context for him saying this wasnt written down as I was too upset at the audacity of that claim.)

he wants me to show overwhelming efforts to fix my fucked behavioral issues but the efforts I'm putting in atm dont matter to him and that hes hanging on a single thread hes no longer willing to take anything but Absolute compliance(yes he used the actual words absolute compliance) if he doesnt see me losing sleep to figure out and fix my shit he wont be convinced I'm trying. he ended that segment with him saying hes not using these words to control or manipulate me. he says this is a requirement a yes or no and he wont make his decision on whether he wants to break up with me until I say yes or no to his absolute compliance. he said his decision is solely based on my answer and If i say yes i dont get to back off or get out of it.

I also wrote down a quote he said that was just so arrogant i couldnt leave it out.

"You sit before an artisan of problem solving." -my fiance

soo haha yeahh the last argument happened right before going to bed and I started typing this as soon as I got up and finished my hygiene stuff.

I'm pretty sure if he had never told me he'd wanted to hit me this wouldn't be such a difficult thing to answer... I love him and I have no idea if I should pick him and risk any form of my safety or just let him leave me.. he has no job, no money, and no family to go to.. I know he doesnt care about being homeless but I do care..I fucking love him and I dont want that for him not even for a day... as shitty as he and I can both be I still dont believe that's what he deserves... if he ever finds this hell be even more pissed that I'm even concerned about what he'll do if he leaves.. he always told me to not care and that if I ever do want to leave him to not worry about that and just get it over with sooner.. thing is I dont want to leave I just want my baby back... the one that didnt yell or didnt want to hit me at all... I want our old relationship back.. I guess I want to know if that's even possible at this point. any words from anyone would be really nice right now.. if only to just feel like someone's talking to me.. my fiance is literally the only person I talk to and the closest thing to a friend I have. and i dont tell my parents any of what's happening because they're stressed enough so I've been basically alone for 4 years with no one but my fiance to talk to..

granted it's my fault I havent made other friends but I've been so stressed recently that I havent done much about it for many reasons..

update: he just finished telling me that hes only had half a burger in the last 3 days, (due to stress) he just wanted to let me know that apparently.

[starcloud-nova]

thank you for the tag @dreamofmysteries ​!! i also love to ramble about my fics so We Are The Same.

Names: Moooost people call me Nova but some do know me as Acacia and of course there is my ao3 name November_Clouds

Fandoms: I write for BNHA but I read a ton for DC Comics because I am in love with that found family aspect *chef’s kiss*

Where you post: Ao3! Always. When I was much too young to be doing much it anything on the internet I had a few stories up on FF.net but you won’t find anything there now.

Most Popular One-Shot (by kudos): The day Shouta met his (favorite) Problem Child

This one was for a friend’s birthday and I genuinely did not expect it to get as much attention as it did. It’s a Sports Festival fic but as all authors know, writing the SF is the most boring part, so I decided to mix it up a bit and wrote it from Aizawa’s perspective up in the stands! It follows Izuku and the shenanigans he gets up to and did I mention that he’s in Gen-Ed in this fic?

Most Popular Multi-chap (by kudos): (silence as I scroll past my old marvel fics) where do we go? is my most kudosed fic (and still in progress!)

This one was....also a birthday fic heh. Written for one of my closest friends, I followed a prompt they left (which i still havent revealed 😳) and tried to take my spin on it. I haven’t updated in a bit because of personal reasons + writer’s block but the premise is that after OFA shows Izuku a dream, he decides that in order for Bakugou to do well in the hero course, he has to stop interacting with him. So...... he transfers to 1B! Fun, right? (wrong)

Favourite Story I’ve Written: from your hands to mine

This fic was suchhhh a doozy to write and I consider it my last fic of 2020 (even if ao3 says otherwise). It’s in second person POV (you and your instead of his and him) so if it’s not your thing I understand but trust me when I say its an artistic choice done well! The story follows a quirkless Todoroki Natsuo and his thoughts on canon events! It was fun to write and fun to go back to, even if the process was... a bitch at times.

Fic You Were Nervous to Post: love’s not overrated (i just don’t like the way you do it)

This one is about aro!ace!Bakugou on Valentine’s Day and I guess I was a bit worried that the wrong crowd would find this fic but thankfully that didn’t happen! It was so fun to write and I recommend you check it out

How do you choose your titles: Soooo many people complain about titles (and I get it!) but they come...fairly easily to me. Usually, I take a main theme from the fic and turn it into a title and my favorite example of this is for ‘from your hands to mine.’ There was a theme of hands in that fic, so I knew there had to be hands in the title. I rarely enjoy using song lyrics as titles so usually I come up with them myself or I ask a friend. And yes, I am that bitch with the titles in lowercase.

Do you outline?: For ‘where do we go?’ Yes. For everything else? No. I write mainly one-shots and there really is no point sdjkhfdhsfj.

Complete: I do happen to be one-shot heavy because long term plot eludes me so 94% of my works are complete.

In Progress: ‘where do we go’ is not abandoned I promise! I am also working on a birthday fic with Authoress_Lilly that I have not even thought about in months but it is !!! Also not abandoned so keep a look out. I also have a marvel fic I am rewriting that I promised a chapter-a-week for and I...gave up a few weeks ago. I will continue that one as well so please be patient with me!

Coming Soon: I don’t know about ‘soon’ but I have a DC social media fic, a Death Note fic and a few BNHA ideas lurking around somewhere.

Not started: ...Not many actually. I tend to write as I go and do not have many AUs lined up however I am constantly thinking about the Ben10 au that I will never write

Upcoming Work You’re Most Excited About: Hmm... chapter 2 of where do we go probably! It’s going to be..so long oh my god.

This was fun to do! Tagging @catlady5001 and @queenangst (because I’d really love to see both of yours) and anyone else who sees it and is interested of course!

[osamusriceballs]

Hiya eve ive missed you so much so i thought id drop you an ask with an update,, gosh its almost been a year!!

I hope everything has been going well with you :) how are classes? And college? I hope your family is okay too and you’ve been staying safe and taking care of yourself <3 love you loads.

Ive been so inactive on tumblr this is probably the first time in quite a while that ive logged on regularly and i wanted to drop you an ask,, after all,, you are the very first friend ive made on here :D

Things are so busy lately. Im gonna graduate high school lmfao,, gotta sit for my final exams before i do,, those will be in march, and then i’ll be free. Its so scary tbh,, but im very excited bc college is something im really really looking forward to :D went through so much last year,, ive been so exhausted bc things havent been the best, but im trying! and thats enough for me ><

Valentine’s is coming up,, do you have any plans? Here’s a cheesy valentine card i found on pinterest and thought would be cute if i sent u ><

Also,, your miya twin posts seriously give me life,, i spent a good few minutes reading everything on your profile, could you start tagging me again everytime you write something? Id love to read them!!

Sending you huge virtual hugs,, take care eve!!

-ari xx

ARI-CHAN!! 💖💖

I knew it‘s been a while, BUT A WHOLE YEAR?! 😳😳😳 I honestly thought you left tumblr, I checked your blog a few weeks ago and saw nothing new, so I thought you‘re probably busy with school and real life stuff 🥺🥺 I wanted to DM you, and I was so happy when I saw your ask here 💖 good luck for your final exams!! Do you have to study already, or will you start soon? I‘m so proud of you for going through the last year, if you need to share something, you can always come to me 💖💖 did you already apply for college? I‘m sure it will go well and that you‘ll love college!! (Except for exam phases, they are just the worst 😭😭)

My semester break started yesterday, so I‘m looking forward to get some time to relax 🥰 but other than that I‘m totally fine! I‘m also healthy and well, I hope you too!! And make sure to stay safe pls!! 🥺💖 I dyed my hair pink yesterday, and I woke up with a pink pillow this morning, I don‘t think it will ever turn white again 😂😂 felt like sharing this rn 😂😂

My Valentine’s date was an exam tbh, I actually never had a proper date on Valentine’s Day like EVER 😭😭😭 *cries in forever alone* my best Valentine’s Day was three years ago when I spontaneously decided to get a piercing as ✨self-care✨

What did you do on Valentine’s Day? 💖💖 hope you also treated yourself to something good!! 💖

I SAW THAT YOU READ THE OSAMU THING, AND I WAS SO HAPPY TO SEE THAT YOU ENJOYED IT 😭😭💖💖 I can tag you in the next fics, so you won‘t miss your well deserved Miya content 💖

SENDING LOTS OF LOVE TO YOU TOO!! 💖💖 stay safe and smile when you read this 💖

[violasmirabiles]

tagged by @panwriter, thank you xx

why did you choose your url? went through the scientific names of various violets because thought it was funny because one of my names can be translated as violet or pansy in english; the finnish name of viola mirabilis happened to provide me with an additional stealth fandom reference (yeah its lehto-orvokki yeah its that Finnish War Thing). also i think violamirabilis was taken so now im just. a bunch of flowers

any side blogs? @ihmekukkavesi for my photos - pretty inactive because, ah, im, how do you say, lazy as fuck, and @shineondoc for university hell

how long have you been on tumblr? since december 2011 babeyyyy

do you have a queue tag? no i do not. this shitshow is always brought to you in real time

why did you start your blog in the first place? classic rock fandom, especially pink floyd. i was sixteen and lonely and had no one my age to bond with over the music and the musicians i liked

why did you choose your icon/pfp? thats a selfie. i have a good face. ive been thinking about updating it for a week now though since i changed my hair and am blonde again but im lazy, you know how it is

why did you choose your header? symposion by akseli gallen-kallela. theres two reasons and they are 1) love the “night out with the lads but its 1894 and we cant take a selfie so im just gonna have to paint a fucking oil painting later” thing its got going on and 2) LOVE the colors. this painting has also been my phone homescreen bg for a long time

what’s your post with the most notes? uhh. probably this?

how many mutuals do you have? quite a few. no really ive never counted i dont know the exact number. ive had this blog for ten years for gods sake.

how many followers do you have? 2326. dont know how many are active

how many people do you follow? 654. also dont know how many are active and oftentimes its like i intend to do some Spring Cleaning and come across blogs that havent been active in YEARS but i just. cant bring myself to unfollow them because what if they come back someday

have you ever made a shitpost? have you not? of course i have. 

how often do you use tumblr everyday? many quick checks throughout the day whenever im bored and theres a notification on my phone. how else does one “use” tumble dot hell

did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? hm. i mean not really? like. there was that one time i noticed someone reposted a friends edit claiming it as their own even though it had said friends url on it and everything and i said something along the lines of hey dont do that thats not cool and then got a Mysterious Anon message that said something along the lines of fuck you bitch what are you gonna do. this was Years ago. also there was another time, also years ago, when i got another mysterious anon that was like “i dont like you” and then “oh you think youre so perfect well you ARE i should just go kill myself” because ?? someone they followed followed me as well and apparently reblogged a lot of my posts and ??? yeah i dont know either.

how do you feel about “you need to reblog this”? guilt tripping bullshit. like, sure, if the post is legit important and the “WHY ARENT PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT THIS” comment is in the reblogs or something i might rb from the source or otherwise without That Comment. and yes i have reblogged posts with those comments before, again, have been here for a long time, but, eh. im not very likely to touch a post that has a comment like that. im tired. im twenty six. i read news. even watch em on tv sometimes if im somewhere with a tv. tumblr is not where i Go Get My Fix Of News.

do you like tag games? yeah!! i keep forgetting to do them but i do love them and being tagged in them!

do you like ask games? yeah! but im so fucking lazy and forgetful!

which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? theres a few! and theres a few who have like. one or two posts that got Huge and i keep seeing those posts on a whole different corner of my dash and go oh :) hey thats my friend :)

do you have a crush on a mutual? nope

tagging: uhh my brains been buffering for five minutes so im not gonna tag anyone at this time sorrY

[crimsonseekers]

I havent watched mha since stain arc, i just randomly found local cryptid, had no idea who hawks, dabi or touya were but it was sooo much FUN that i'm stuck in dabihawks hell now. I've read every single one of your fics, it's always a highlight of my week when you update and tragic backstory are now some of my feel good pick me ups when the stress gets too much, so THANK YOU! Hope you have a nice day! XD

thank you???? so much???? this genuinely means so much to me you have no idea 🥺💖

It’s always a highlight of my day whenever I see someone say that [insert tragic backstory] is a pick me up series for them, because it feels fantastic to know that my fics are comfort reads for some people 😭😭😭

Thank you so much for reading, even though I’m not posting as frequently as I did a few months ago, I really hope that you’ll enjoy what I have to create in the future 🙏💖

[mollydollyjournals]

Its Thursday 1st July and I hit post limit so all I can do is update this post

I just want to drink til i pass out

9:46pm - oh when did i post this? Doesnt matter i guess. It really annoys me that the daily post limit applies to all blogs you have. I have 2 and i follow a lot of NSF- stuff so i have so much in my queue for my other blog, and i tend to post more immediately for that so i dont end up with a massive backlog, but thaats when i hit the limit. Whatever it is. I basically just wish i could set the queue to post more often when i have more there. Just post every 15mins or whatever and it'd go through quicker without me having to do it myself

Idk it doesnt matter i guess. Im still just venting all my bullshit here that i cant put anywhere else. But now is when i need it. I want interaction and company but i dont want to bother anyone and I dont know what to do with it. I dont have it in me to try to be a person right now. Tumblr is for messy. At least thats how i do.

But once you hit post limit it apparently doesnt even let you delete stuff to post anything else. I havent been here in years really so i totally forgot. Plus it could have been different anyway. Idk. Guess i will just drink until i disintegrate or something

10:20pm - it just makes me feel worse. I know theres a reason for post limit and its not the end of the world. Just it doesnt reset til 5am and I'll be asleep by then which means for the rest of today i cant actually say anything, and that kinda fucks with my derealisation/depersonalisation/whatever it is. I need acknowledgement to feel real. I need people to remind me that i exist. Even just a little. Its stupid and insecure but i do. Everything is worse since covid and being stuck in a house with someone who barely acknowledges my existence. I feel like a ghost. I feel netter at least a little temporarily if someone just sees and acknowledges me. And currently i can't do anything about that. Nobody is going to go to my page(s) and see whats up, its not that kind of thing. Even if it was they still wouldnt. I put on my other social media fucking ages ago that i was really struggling, then i disappeared, and it took days for it to get noticed at all. Then only 3 people acknowledged it. People have their own lives and there are algorithms etc so i cant be angry at them, but the end result is i still feel really alone.

I often feel like i want to just talk to people. Only a select few. Its not that i necessarily need to talk about "deep" stuff, but i need to know that i could if i needed to. Or if we just both happened to be in that mood at the same time. Like how i dont wanna talk about something totally innocent and generic with someone who turns out to be racist or whatever.

I dont know. Maybe i do need to talk some shit through right now. Doesnt matter either way. Ill most likely just be back to this post later to say more about how i dont really feel like being alive.

10:39pm - I hate that im like this. I dont know if its reasonable or not. I used to be someone who wantes so much space. I still dont feel like i want to always be around people. I must have some individuality somewhere. But i cant find it. Since the pandemic hit especially, it just highlighted everything ive been missing and trying to supplement. I need things to change. But i dont have a hope of doing so while i feel like this. Im so lost. Ive spent my life trying to be confident in myself and ive run my reserves dry. I so rarely get any help topping up. I fucking hate the whole Strong Black Woman trope. Im tired. Ive carried my family since I was 13 and romantic partners have expected me to carry them too. I need to be held and comforted. I need support. If nothing else i need to just be acknowledged. I dont feel like a person. Im invisible and inaudible so much of the time and apparently that only changes when someone wants to see or hear me. When do i get to be a person in my own right? When does someone actually see or hear me for who i am and care about my existence regardless of what it does for them

10:54pm - its the worst of my mental health, tbh, that i dont feel like its worth trying anything if its not going to be acknowledged and welcomed by anyone else. Existing included. I feel my worst and most suicidal when i cant have anyone remember that i exist. Because maybe i dont. Maybe people dont miss me or think of me unless theyre reminded for some specific reason. And i say these things because i want to be proved wrong but why would anyone.

I want to cut. I hate this stupid post limit. I could have at least distracted myself by reblogging stuff for a bit. Im still spiralling. I need a distraction and there isnt one and there wont be one and if i even get through tonight itll just be another reminder that in the end im alone

11:24pm - something feels particularly cruel about not being able to post here, even if i delete stuff. Its just an app sure but its the closest thing i have to therapy. I came back here specifically because i was struggling posting on my regular social media and having people not pay any attention. I thought id make a fresh anonymous account where i could vent and my shitty brain couldnt take it personally if nobody acknowledged it. Now i just have all that shit going round my head and nowhere to put it. Im right back where i started. Nobody will read this. If they do they wont care. If by some chance they did they'll be put off by me being so negative.

"One day someone will hug you so tight all tour broken pieces will fit back together" yeah sure. Whatever.

[wonwoonlight]

check in tag!✨

hellooo @chanberriees thank you for tagging me <3 hahaha its okay! dont feel embarrassed at least not with me💚

why did you choose your url ?

> it's wonwoo + moonlight :D my blog title has always been 'we under the moonlight' which is from got7's 3rd??? fanmeeting?? i think? so yeah i'd like to just mesh them tgt :D

do you have any sideblogs ?

> @starry-hannie in which i just pile up stuffs i've read just so my updates here wont get 'clogged' & its easier if i want to reread 🙈 tho i dont update it quite as often now bc i havent been in a reading mood in a while :/

how long have you been on tumblr ?

> a loooooooong time ago lol i used to look up dramione fics and a lot of other fics but i was never active and it's only recently that i am :D ((that said, i still do not know how to use tumblr properly))

do you have a queue tag ?

> nope! and, for the record, i keep my draft on ms words

why did you start your blog in the first place ?

> i've always been interested in writing tbh so i guess i kinda wanted to venture to tumblr tho it's only last year that i actuallly get to ~actively~ write

why did you choose your icon/pfp ?

> it's the ultimate superior wonu look nsdjnsjfb (plus i like the color scheme haha) i love it when he dresses like that so im still upset he only wore those outfit for like 10 seconds in gose

why did you choose your header ?

> i like the mood of it ^^ but also it's a subtle way to show i am also a blink bc it's a screen capture from stay mv hahah

what’s your post with the most notes ?

> uhh i think it's Wonwoo - Surprise which is surprising (haha) bc it was my first angst and my first fic that went pass 2k too i think? and i was SO sure it'd be bad but i still get notifs from it from time to time

how many mutuals do you have ?

> im... i dont know,,, i think 10 at most?? but only bc i have no idea how to interact here jsdfjhb and mostly i follow back ppl if they talk to me a few times haha

how many followers do you have ?

> 508..?? omg?? when did i reach 500 ajshdbshdb thank you so much guyss😭😭

how many people do you follow ?

> only 57 but again bc i have no idea how tumblr works and i just mostly follow either: ppl who posts abt svt gifs, writers that i like, ppl who interact a lot with my blog, or fic recs acc :D i dont mind following a lot of you tho i just dont know who to follow bc only a little interact a lot with me haha

have you ever made a shitpost ?

> a lot?????? if you consider me losing my mind over seventeen that is hahah

how often do you use tumblr each day ?

> nowadays? so often. i check it like i check twt and ig haha

did you have a fight/argument with another blog once ? who won ?

> no bc 1. i only know a handful of ppl 2. im the type of person who keeps things to myself haha

how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts ?

> i dont mind them as long as you dont /force/ other ppl to do it to the point where they feel guilty if they dont

do you like tag games ?

> yesss! bc it's fun plus i get to know how you guys r doing haha

do you like ask games ?

> yupp, but it not a lot of ppl are interested in it and it's not like i can do it on my own right?? haha

which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous ?

> uhhh, again, i dont hv a lot of mutuals... but maybe pj? @wonunuu :D

do you have a crush on a mutual ?

> Nopeee

tags?

> yooooo! @wonunuu @shuajeong and @lovingyu04 I hope you guys r doing fine and its totally fine not to do this if you don’t feel like it :D

[pierrelucdisaster]

You reinvigorated my soft spot for olli, but i have a question to ask cause i havent kept track of him in a while. Did olli have only his tumour removed or was it his whole thyroid? I forgot if he mentioned he was on medication.

Aww I'm glad. I always knew who he was on other teams and knew he was talented and once he got traded to the Kings it was full just love for him! I'm happy we can both find a space to show off how great Olli is.

I remember reading somewhere that he's on medication but I believe he only had the tumor removed from his thyroid bc it was detected early enough. I'm on mobile but I will update this with links when I get to my computer. I do not want to give misinformation. (update) links: 1 2 3 4 (here [@19 minute mark] he says he takes thyroid medication and I believe he says he had his thyroid taken out as well.)

Also, forgot to tell you I have another Olli gif i made a few days ago but forgot to post that will go up this weekend since the Kings have the next 4 days off, and i have a lot of backed up gifs.

[ruiyuki-archives]

Star Tear AU - Alt. Timeline: Todoroki ver. [Part 1]

This is an AU I wrote on the todomomo discord server eons ago. Anything posted to this blog will be transcripts of old original work and not really edited, save for formatting. I have no guarantees if I will ever finish these AUs either so these will only be kept as an archive.

Original transcript posted to tdmm discord: Aug 2020

Momo ver. Alternate timeline: Todo ver. Part 1 || Todo ver. Part 2 || Todo ver. Part 3

Star tears in which Todoroki falls for Momo first.

shortly after the exam with Aizawa he doesn’t know what he’s feeling but just admires her strength and quick thinking

and him hanging out with Deku and Iida at lunch means Todo hears all the nice and good things Momo does when she and Iida to discuss class prez stuff

which intensifies this ??admiration?? and respect more

and he just?? Holds onto those feelings unable to figure out what they are until idk maybe holidays where 1A and 1B throw that holiday hotpot party

and Momos really cute lookin’ in that Santa hat she made with the festive turtleneck

and so that feeling inside Todo grows into something more??? bc "oh shit she cute".... and Todo’s blushing while looking at her from afar. Probably.

so Todo talks to Fuyumi abt it and Fuyumi’s like: “I think you like her Shouto”

and he writes to his mom abt it and Rei's like: “she sounds like a lovely girl Shouto”

and he texts Natsuo abt it and Natsu's like: “aw little bro has a crush”

but all the while this is happening, Momo's gotten closer with Iida over class prez stuff and hero stuff and everyone in 1A (read: mina and hagakure) think iimomo might be a thing???

ofc Momo denies it and making excuses politely like "no no ofc not we're being responsible class prez and vice prez" but she’s kinda stuttery while doing so, so no one buys it

and no ones brave enough to ask Iida except Ochako but he gives some straight laced answer like "i admire her work ethic and respect her as a hero and vice prez" but he also has some tint of blush across his cheeks

so idk fast forward to graduation where Todo's been holding onto these feelings for Momo since first year and iimomo is still very very likely

so its all cherry blossom petals flying around and congratulatory celebrations

and when Todo sees Momo amongst the sakura trees smiling like he's never seen before (bc they're finally officially heroes!!) he thinks she’s beautiful

but just as he's about to approach her, Iida approaches her and Todo can see she's blushing and he knows its really not good to eavesdrop on one of his best friends and the girl he likes

But... he's curious.

or so he lies to himself.

Ofc what he hears isnt what he ever wants to,,,,

cuz Iida just confessed to her.

and she feels the same.

and a star tear slips from Todo's eye as he walks away.

he stops mid step as he touches his cheek bc he didnt even realize he was crying

but what are these tears??? What’s happening?? He's never had these before bc even though Todo is an emotional crier, he doesn’t cry that often.. only when he is completely overwhelmed with emotion

so he has this dumbfounded expression staring at his fingers as these star tears are twinkling out of his eyes catching sunlight and sakura petals

until he hears "Youre a fucking idiot" from a few steps away

Bakugou. 

(Baku really likes eavesdropping ok its not the first time lol)

Baku: theyre called star tears.

Todo: You know what these are?

Baku: it happens when you like someone and that person doesnt like you back, idiot.

Todo: ... oh.

Baku: get that shit sorted or you'll go blind

(And for those who are curious, yes maaaayyybe Bakugou has a case of the stars in this timeline too, that’s how he knows. To whom? I'll let you decide bc honestly, I just want todobaku brotp bonding over unrequited love)

so now Todo thinks he might be fucked. One of his best friends confessed to the girl he likes too and she likes him back and now Todo has this disease that might make him go blind and might get in the way of heroing (which they've all secured post graduation positions by now) and what can he do about it?

nothing, says the doctor he sees. The disease is not curable and the only way to stop it is to have your feelings returned else you'll go colour blind and then completely blind, so he's told.

ya he's really fucked.

maybe its a good thing then, that he doesnt cry often. It makes it easier to ice over these feelings, freeze them in time with the memories of U.A.; of his last congratulations to her and her smile at the end of the ceremony an hour after he overheard that confession

maybe its another good thing that right after graduation, everyone went off to their own positions as side kicks with agencies across japan, focusing on heroing

but its 3 months after graduation that Iida tells Deku and Todoroki that he is seeing Momo when they meet up every Friday to catch up

its 6 months after graduation that its publicly announced in Hero Magazine that Ingenium and Creati are dating

its 9 months after graduation that he sees Iida and Momo attending the Hero Association's rising stars gala as a couple and are seated at the same table as them

(Bakugou is scowling at him across the table.)

Todo tries. He really does. To be happy for them.

but he's angry at himself that he can't be happy for them. That it saddens him to see Momo glowing under the ballroom lights but its not himself to make her shine like that, its Iida. That he sees she is the one to make Iida genuinely happy in the way his eyes light up when he smiles at her.

and all three times Todo goes home, lies down alone in his room, an arm slung across his forehead as the star tears leak from his eyes.

he starts to lose seeing colour at 12 months.

after 24 months he needs glasses for colour correction (and ironically gets a sponsorship with the brand. The fashion magazines print headlines for weeks "Hot-Cold Hero Shouto Fall Fashion! See page 7 spread for his newest spotted specks and turtle necks")

at 36 months Iida breaks the news. Iida's gonna propose to Yaoyorozu and wants him, Deku, and his brother to be his groomsmen

she said yes.

and a part of Todo washes away with the star tears flooding him room and twinkling against the tatami.

he tries to stay out of the wedding planning as much as possible. He'll go to the tuxedo fittings as requested and still keep up hearing the updates when seeing Iida and Deku for their weekly get together on Friday nights. 

But for anything involving Momo's presence, there will always be a "sorry i have a mission that week", "sorry im visiting my mom", "sorry Endeavor needs to see me about the agency"

... all excuses Bakugou knows, but the others pay no mind. They are rising heroes near the top of the billboard by now

month 48. Wedding day.

she's stunning. Gorgeous. A near goddess walking down the aisle on her big day.

but she's not walking down for him. No its for iida.

there was the ceremony, the cheers, the congratulations, the reception. Fairy lights around the dance floor and along the walls, champagne glittering after the sound of a cork

Todoroki stands off to against the wall as the night dies down, a glass in hand, watching the newly weds grace the dance floor.

someone slides up beside him, he feels the presence. Bakugou.

"She's beautiful isnt she?"

"Yeah."

. . .

a star tear falls from Todoroki's eyes, twinkle hidden among the fairy lights and champagne glitter.

she's beautiful, but maybe its a good thing I can't see

somebody said: what if she knows everything that had happened and the reason why he couldn't continue his career is bc of her?

me: ok you’re asking for it

Momo, 3 months pregnant with iimomo baby, announces with Iida the news to their friends

the soon to be parents want to choose godparents for the baby so Iida gets to choose the baby’s godmother and Momo gets to choose the godfather

and ofc along with the announcement Momo asks Todoroki to be the kid’s godfather

he can’t say no to her.

the same week later Todo and Momo's agencies are requested to deal with this one villain case while Ingenium's agency deals with another in another town (later turns out the cases were connected)

small talk, civil, very professional between Momo and Todo when they’re in the debriefing

at this point Todo's pretty much completely blind and uses some special contact lenses from Hatsume to help "see"

but the contact lenses can only do so much as to detect light movement and shadows and it reallllllllly doesnt work well when he's using his fire 

so Todo already had tossed around the idea of running away to the mountains like Roy did in the FMA 2003 ending, "mysteriously" retiring bc really his vision cannot keep up

until this last mission with Momo

and really its been nearly a decade now since they last worked together side by side (not since U.A. he thinks).. so just let the blind man be selfish one last time

and so smth smth missiom happens, Todo and Momo fighting side by side

but Momo senses there’s something off with Todo's movements? His reflexes are slower.. it doesnt seem like he's prediciting the opponents moves like he used to.. he's more so reacting and retaliating than attacking..

she chalks it up to that they havent fought side by side in a long time and his style must’ve changed and really, she doesnt know him anymore... not like she used to

smth smth 3 months pregnant Momo gets hurt, knocked unconscious for a bit

Todo saves her

and when she comes to, while Todo's holding her, star tears fall onto her cheek from Todo's eyes. 

She's shocked. Reaches up to gently graze a finger tip at his left cheek.

"Todoroki-san, these are?"

and again its like Todo didnt realize he was crying. He jerks away from her hand and brushes her off with "its nothing”. Changes the subject with "are you ok?"

Momo: yes.. i think so

Todo: and the baby?

Momo, sitting up: we're ok I think

Todo, moving away: good

the mission concludes and they meet up with Ingenium’s group to wrap up the two ends. Todo slips away before Iida and Momo and approach him

theres no activity from Todoroki for the next month

neither Iida, Deku or anyone else in 1A know where he went except the Hero Association's vague comment on "Hot Cold Hero Shouto has taken a sudden indefinite hiatus"

(Only Todo’s family knows and Endeavor asked the Association to say "hiatus" instead of "retirement" bc Enji wants to believe in his son making a comeback. He didnt stop Shouto from taking off)

and ofc Momo upon hearing this is so confused??? Her last mission with him was the last time she saw him and he was crying. Why was he crying? Strange star tears twinkling and landing on her cheeks? What even is that phenomenon?

its too many questions and ofc Momo's gonna investigate. For the sake of her friend.

so she digs up all the texts she can find on star tears. Internet search all the possibilities. Consults the doctors at the hospital. Even asks Tenya if Todoroki has been acting strangely during their weekly catch ups.

but Tenya tells her Todoroki hasnt been the the meet ups since after their wedding

so she asks anyone in their pro hero circle of associates she can think of. Tsukiyomi, Burnin', heros from his agency, anyone she can think of that has worked with Todoroki before and could comment on his behaviour

no body knows. No body noticed anything different either. Sure there were some off days but the Hot Cold Hero Shouto was always on his game being one of the top 3 heroes on the billboard charts

she searches and searches, splitting time interviewing colleagues and researching the possible star tears phenomenon

until eventually her search takes her to...

Bakugou.

Of course.

Momo, pleading: please Bakugou, you know something about him dont you?

Bakugou, who at this point had been very careful trying not to get cornered knowing her investigation: save it pony tail, you’re about to have a baby. Go have people harass you about that brat in your oven instead of harassing other people

Momo, nearly begging: please. You and I both know he's strong and a good hero that would not suddenly retire. Whatever he is doing, he might need help.. please tell me Bakugou.

... theres something about pregnant women that you cant say no to.

Bakugou, relenting: tch. The half ass is somewhere in Yokohama

and thats all she needs nearly running waddling (as fast as a pregnant woman could) out the door

Bakugou, calling out after her, still reluctant: when find that half ass, i suggest you throw him a gift. Literally. Throw it at him. He deserves it.

she finds him along the port, watching the sunset in Yokohama (its really not that hard to find someone with heterochromia and two tone hair in a city, especially if youre a hero that knows what methods heroes will use to go incognito)

and for some inkling of a feeling, Momo takes Bakugou's advice. She has a carton of strawberry milk in hand.

Momo, a few feet away from him: Todoroki-san, it's been a while.

Todo, turning his head in her direction: Yaoyorozu...?

Momo, sadly smiling: the sunset is beautiful here isnt it?

Todo, brows furrowing: .. sure. Yaoyorozu what are you doing here--

Momo, interrupting him: --i brought some snacks. Strawberry milk, you liked this while we were in school right? Catch.

she tosses it at him.

he tries to reach out.

But he'es completely off. And misses

Momo, sad: Todoroki-san. You're blind, arent you?

Todo, guilty: ah.

Momo, tearing up: will you please tell me?

he still can say no to her and confesses his story

and when he's finished telling the tale of star tears, the stars above are twinkling too

she's crying and choking and sobbing through tears and its intensified by baby Iida with pregnancy hormones

But the last thing she manages to croak out at the very least is still wholly her

She apologizes

“Im so sorry Todoroki- san. I cant love you that way.”

“I know.”

END NOTES:

red is the last color Todoroki wanted to lose because it reminds him of Momo

during missions, as long as he could see her, “that’s ok” he thought. she is the only one he sees in color. that is okay with him

to him, Momo is his shining star. And there’s something tragically poetic of him losing his sight to the stars if its for his shining star Momo

He leaves the last stars in a tiny little jar like those paper stars as a gift for her with just the words on a note "goodbye Momo" the day after she finds him in Yokohama

Momo has the jar of stars forever on her bedside and looks at them with this melancholy expression. Baby Iida grows up and asks mom: "what is that jar of stars?" 

Momo responds: "a gift from someone that was blinded by love"

Bakugou in this timeline had a case of star tears too but I'd like to think he got his feelings requited so he never went blind to contrast Todo

So thats why Baku is (begrudgingly) sympathetic to Todo cuz he thinks: “that could’ve been me”

The ending shot of a blind Todoroki in a dark room, all alone, eyes closed, thinking back to Momo's shining smile from UA surrounded by star light with a sad smile on his face and it fades to black

> archives masterpost

[buckyskorpion]

A). I didn't meant to be rude w the caps lock message about dsbt. Yes, I hit anonymous button but cuz I'm too scared of even write an ask to anyone (I hope u understand it, from what i see of your posts you deal with anxiety too). I'm sorry, truly, if I sounded rude or bad to you, never was my intention. I never knew it has some time since you wrote it cuz I've been following you for little time. Like a few weeks. And unfortunately, we don't exactly get the timin of the uploading of the posts +

B). I thought it was a recent fic and freshly new and I thought you'd be writing through time or had more chapters saved or anything, already pre scheduled to update. Not trying to impose anything, just expressing how my trail of thoughts were working. I know, I truly know, u share the stories because u want to share it and not for our satisfaction. And that's how it's suppose to be, imo as well. The thing with asks tho is that it gets very misunderstood how we all view them when we get them. +

C). I did caps lock with the only and unique intention of expressing excitement over it. Not to be rude, not to yell at you. Just to express how excited I am towards the next chapter, whenever it comes out. I felt bad how you and some of your followers thought of how that sounded and I'm sorry. I never intended to be rude. Ps: I did A, B & C so you can follow the asks, not to impose anything of like "first of all", don't get me wrong again please xx

D). I read the other ask you answered about how bad you feel. I'm truly sorry I made you feel that way. Truly. I read all your vents about your bad days and it makes me sad you deal with it. I have 3 personality disorders and it's horrible how we process things in our heads. Not trying to victimize, just trying to explain I know how awful our own brains can be to ourselves when it comes to process social interactions (asks, even. +

E). Again, I'm so sorry) without any mental issue or whatsoever. I want to add I'm excited for any work you do in the future and again, I'm sorry for failing showing it.

thank you for messaging me! believe me, i understand anxiety so thats fine and i also understand that you didn’t meant it in a rude or bad way - i did say that because i know most people dont intend to come across in a bad way. i admit that i responded quite emotionally because of a build up of similar messages i had gotten. however, in my opinion it doesnt matter what the intention is when you say something that hurts someone, because no matter how nicely you meant to say it (and i do understand you said it out of excitement! i really do) it still hurt. ya know? like i get that you meant it in a nice way but i still had a negative reaction and thats still valid. i hope that makes sense!

as someone who has anxiety as you have said, i would hope that you understand how a message like that - well intentioned or not - would trigger my anxiety and make me feel very pressured, stressed, and upset. and i understand that using anon protects you and helps ease your anxiety so i didnt mean to offend you by saying that, im sorry.

im grateful that you started following me so recently and are enjoying my fics. im not expecting everyone to understand that i took four years off tumblr and originally posted that fic in 2016, i understand people just come across my fics and dont read my blog so thats not what i was getting at. what i meant is that it doesn’t matter if i posted the fic last week or four years ago, if i have a posting schedule or not, if i posted the last chapter yesterday or months ago -- asking writers when they’re going to update and demanding new chapters is very upsetting to a lot of us!! and it is rude, whether its intended or not! not just you, but literally everyone who message me or any writer about updates. i dont know if i am getting my point across properly but im trying to say that i would never ask someone when they plan on updating a fic no matter the circumstances because i understand writing and posting is a very subjective, emotional, and mentally draining process. at the end of the day we are posting free content and its nobody’s business whether i post back to back updates or take years in between, because im doing it FOR FREE and owe nothing to no one.

at the end of the day this is also just tumblr, its just fic, and i dont want to come across super aggressive or mean. im just trying to get my point across and im glad you messaged me to get your point across too! we are all allowed to disagree and exist on the same platform. i am truly grateful you enjoy my writing, thats the reason why i write so i dont want to deter you from enjoying anyones fic or anything. im just trying to explain to not only you but anyone reading this why demanding updates makes me wanna die haha

im truly sorry for what you have to go through with your diagnoses, i know how difficult mental illness is and nobody deserves it. i really hope you’re doing ok and this interaction hasn’t upset you too deeply and i havent made you feel bad. if i have i truly am sorry. we’re all just trying to make our way in this shitty world and we gotta help each other when we can. if you ever feel confident enough to come off anon, or even if you want to continue sending me anons, i would be happy to talk to you if you ever need it - im always here for you! i used your ask as an example for the many people who message me similar things and maybe i shouldn’t have done that because that’s not fair to you, so im sorry. 

thank you so much for these messages, you really sound like a very mature and lovely person and im deeply sorry if this situation has caused you any pain. i hoep we can be friends! and i hope you keep enjoying my writing and i can keep providing things you like to read!

[sunshinexlollipops]

Have you given up on ACW?

Hey anon, to answer your question: no.

I meant to make a more detailed post explaining what has gone on BUT I have just had shit keep happening to me time after time.

To put it simply: I have not had the time or ability to write ACW this month.

Have I given up on it? Forgotten it? Been pushing it off? Ignoring it?

No. I’ve been terribly busy and stressed in the process of trying to replace my car. Which has single-handedly been one of the worst experiences I’ve ever gone through.

Sounds dramatic right? No.

I have been:

Treated horribly bc I’m trying to buy a lower-priced used car outright instead of financing on any and I’ve had dealers tell me “I don’t care about those” and hang up on me

I had to pull money out of my college fund to even get a majority of my car budget and that was like pulling teeth

I was trying to save every penny I could of money I earned afterward so I was trying to spend NOTHING while literally picking pennies off the ground

I spent an entire day just rolling my own change to help my budget

I have gone to car lots trying to find a car I discovered online that is listed to be there only to find out it’s sold or even in another state

^ that happened to me 3 times

Some lots left listings on hella good car deals to lure people in

I found out I couldn’t finance a car bc I have no credit history but lord did they try for me to do so

And the biggest issue is that since I am a woman, I faced SO MUCH SHIT from dealers thinking I was an idiot or waisting their time.

One dealer literally lost his shit after I declined a sale because:

He was trying to finance me on a car worth 10k. From taxes and other fees and interest, and extra 6k was added to the car’s price. My car payment was gonna be almost $400/month and with having to get the insurance required for a car on lean I wouldn’t be able to spend any of my money on anything but the car for a year and he thought this was okay.

He was so sneaky he tried to get me to “drive the car home” to show my mom once she got off work. “All you gotta do is buy insurance and she can see it! And I’ll get you dealer tags!” THAT IS SELLING ME THE CAR. NO.

Once the deal fell through bc I refused to do anything but tell him we were done, he immediately changed with how he was acting and says “this is bullshit,” and proceeded to go fucking nuclear.

Said my parents didn’t love me bc they were going to buy a used car for me with no warranty and high mileage and I was gonna get screwed over even more than I already was without having a car.

He called my parents idiots for not co-signing and “I prayed to god for this deal and they won’t let you have it” — and overall he mostly zeroed in my mom, who bought two cars from them, saying she was a “fool” and “I couldn’t even talk to her for doing this to you.”

Said my parents didn’t love me and “you can’t do this to your daughters. Sons you can put in shitty used cars with high mileage, but your daughter? To have it break down on the side of the road? Haven’t they read the news? Don’t they know what happens to women?”

Complained that we were going to make him look like an idiot bc he reworked this car deal for me 4-5 times and now he’s gonna have to explain to his boss I said no and get him “in trouble” and that he might lose his job bc I’m not buying this car.

Needless to say I’ve been stressed as fuck this month.

And, a few days ago, I bought a car.

But it isn’t working out.

There was a crack in the windshield the dealer said they would replace. And this isn’t a sketchy side-of-the-road dealer, this is a franchised Ford dealership.

Well, the day after I bought my car (a green 2000 Honda CRV that needs some cosmetic love), I was told it would be fixed and they would call me to pick it up.

They didn’t do so. Either with calling me or fixing the windshield.

I called them 3 times, right after I got off from work at about 4, and then, about an hour before they were set to close.

I got a call back after leaving messages asking how my car was and if it was ready for pick up to come 10min before the dealer shut its doors for the night to get it.

So I show up and it’s raining and at night, so I don’t immediately see the crack is still there until I get home.

Thankfully I live right down the road, so I still had enough time to call them back and say: “wtf? This was supposed to be fixed? Y’all said it would be?”

The gentleman on the phone tells me: “Bring the car in tomorrow morning. We will get you a loan vehicle while we fix it and you should get it back same day. What time would you be coming in?”

I tell him about 9am or a little past, and he says he will make a note of it.

Come morning, I make sure to take pics of the windshield.

I take it, find out the guy to fix it isn’t even in till Monday, and since it’s a 7-8in crack it’s not safe to drive around with (the salesman even told me for it to be on the lot it had to be fixed).

So now o have a loaner car after getting to complain to the sales manager and I broke down crying bc I havent had my car for even 48hrs and they’re already having to take it back and keep it for several days longer.

The lady who does car loaning for people like me felt so bad she prayed for me before I left and texted me personally about my car bc i discovered they cleaned the brake pedal and it was worn down to expose metal— not a common thing you see on a car with only 97k miles.

Both she and I did research on the vehicle to make sure the odometer wasn’t rolled back (something highly illegal and fraudulent).

So I’m out of a car at least until Monday, but it just depends on how this all goes down.

Until then I have a 2019 Ford Edge and it’s nicer than anything I’ve ever been in but still.

So yeah. I haven’t brushed off ACW.

I literally have just been having the worst luck and time and this has taken priority over writing.

Not that I’m shitting on you anon, but this is what’s happening and this is why there won’t be an update this month.

I’m sorry, but it’s just how this has played out for me and everything else.

All i can say is that I hope this works out soon and for the better. 🤷‍♀️