#if you haven’t seen seinfeld

[devotedtosadpoetry]

no thoughts just that one episode of seinfeld where jerry acts like kramer after spending one night in his room where the giant big red chicken light is shining at him as he sleeps

[draculaugust]

reblog for larger sample size i gotta know

[writeblrfantasy]

THE NIGHT AUCTION: BOOK INTRO

“I’m sorry,” Aric admits, conceding a bit of honesty for once. “I am the one bringing the mood down. I wanted this too, and I can’t understand why I’m having a difficult time adjusting.”

Kyrell snorts. “I can. You were just bid on like a piece of meat in front of a whole crowd of fools, bought by a man you barely know when you were least expecting it, and given more money for it than you’ve probably ever seen at one time, if you would pardon my frankness.

“Now you’re alone with that man and the clothes on your back, and though they’re very nice clothes and a very nice man, your world probably feels like it’s been ripped out from under you whether you wanted this or not.

“So, yes, anyone in your place would be having a difficult time adjusting too. I say it’s more amazing that you haven’t thrown a completely justifiable fit, screamed, punched me, or cursed all of our names. Or all of those consecutively.”

genre: fantasy romance

status: complete. word count 70k

blurb:

For a gemeyes, love is a prison. What happens when it could mean freedom? Aric is a gemeyes, a powerful and heavily regulated mage in the second class of Vadare society. His whole life, he’s worked hard to survive—he doesn’t dream, and he certainly doesn’t love. When an old debt comes knocking, Aric is forced to turn to The Night Auction, a club where gemeyes go to be auctioned off for dates. There, he is bought by Kyrell Tierwood, a first class lord who’s kinder and handsomer than any Aric has met before. Kyrell’s main draw is his wealth, which Aric needs in order to protect the family secret. Aric’s plan is simple: seduce the money he needs out of Kyrell and then leave him. It’s not love, it’s business. However, Aric didn’t count on his seduction turning into something real. As Aric and Kyrell navigate coexistence, Aric is torn between two worlds: the love he’s fostering with Kyrell, and the secret he will do anything to keep.

please let me know if you'd like to be added to the taglist for this book!

surprise! 🎉🎉my secret book is finally done!

for the past month i pulled a sanderson and have been working in secret on this baby. THE NIGHT AUCTION is about finding trust, friendship, and love through class gaps. It's about realizing your mistakes and actually changing your behavior instead of just promising to be better.

it was supposed to be nanowrimo, but in typical me fashion i got impatient and started drafting october 13 and finished drafting october 31. there is only one person in the world to whom i mentioned i was writing a secret book. not one soul on earth knew the plot, the characters, nothing.

it was the most fun, the easiest, the most delightful drafting experience i've had in years. it's also one of my favorite books i've ever written. i feel so connected to these characters, this world, the heart of the book, in a way i've been lacking lately.

the top word i would pick for how it felt to write this book was healing. every moment was freeing, every word was fun. it was lifechanging.

i will be posting character intros, excerpts, and more to help you meet the world that has been living rent free in my head for a month. so, so excited to finally be sharing this with you all!!

GENERAL TAGLIST: @worldbuildng @muddshadow @nikkywrites @47crayons @directionoftime @chayscribbles @magic-is-something-we-create

also, if you made it this far, you deserve to know that the idea for this came from a seinfeld episode, if you can believe it! (the barber)

[marmotish]

Batch Replies

(5 more asks under the cut)

trying to clear out the old inbox after months and months of neglect, but drawing something for every ask isn’t proving feasible. No drawings in this post unfortunately!

d’ you know, i never even considered the possibility that Tonks wasn’t the only one of Freyja’s friends to get killed during those events??? 👁️👄👁️

Considering that Freyja had been MIA from mid 1991 to mid 1994, and didn’t reunite with old friends/classmates since until 1997… I wouldn’t say the events brought them closer. I’d say it made the reunion more tense and awkward. At first, anyway. Given time, they would get comfortable around each other again - some quicker than others i.e. Penny and Barnaby due to their personalities.

Those definitely safe and alive after May 1998 are as follows, merely because I’ve already drawn them in post-1998 scenarios so I’m not backtracking on that -

Penny (Freyja was a bridesmaid at her post-war wedding)

Chiara (She was working the day Freyja got bitten by one of her patients)

Barnaby (back-cracking bear hug)

Jae (the awkward hug reunion)

❤️🫨❤️ thank you !! YOU are amazing!!

Assuming 1920s where none of them have magical abilities here, there’s only a few characters that I think have more or less direct 1920s analogues for their canon era professions…

Andre - tailor/designer

Chiara - doctor or nurse

Rowan - teacher

Erika and Skye - Racecar drivers. I was gonna say football or rugby players but women’s football was banned from 1921-1970, and women’s rugby didn’t take off til decades after the 20s..

there’s probably more but my brain is still a bit foggy…

Oof.

Perhaps a little, but I reckon they’d put most of the blame on Dumbledore for not vetting his staff properly i.e. Rakepick. So when Freyja went to visit Rowan’s grave, she made sure to go at the crack of dawn to reduce the chance of running into the Khanna family.

I haven’t got to that part of the game unfortunately, I don’t have the first idea on Alanza’s character, sorry! 🙇🏻‍♀️

Raise your glasses to Andromeda Tonks - for flipping the bird at the notion of blood purity ✨🥂✨

i’ve only seen one ep of seinfeld, so all i know about kramer is that he’s the tall guy with the Hair… 😣

[wolfgangevenstar]

get to know you!

thanks for the tag @bubblegumflavor and @miyagi-hokarate !!

-> Last Song I Listened To: “Snow (Hey Oh)” by the Red Hot Chili Peppers

-> Currently Reading: “Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes” (i tend to be a slow reader so it’s taking me a while lol)

-> Currently Watching: doing a re watch of Cobra Kai rn! I’ve also been trying to watch the new live action ATLA but it’s slow going 😅 also also i’ve been watching a lot of Seinfeld lately (kramer speaks to me on a spiritual level ok)

-> Currently Obsessed With: TKK/CK obviously, that’s been my main focus for a while now i’m actually surprised it’s lasted this long. Other than that i’ve been pretty into the Hunger Games, and i’m pretty much always at least a little bit obsessed with Lord of the Rings

tagging (no pressure ofc): @yallwildinrn @zannolin @zappedbyzabka @landslided @eightyfours @purty-pumpkin @soobiesworld @gondorsfinest @karatehusbandos @corroded-coffin @variousqueerthings (tried to think of ppl who i haven’t seen already been tagged, but i could be wrong abt some)

[lostloveletters]

hii battie✨ what shows do you like??

Hey! I actually watch a lot more Youtube than like shows, so this list is gonna be pretty short. Y’all have seen me go on about The Sopranos and Justified which I can’t recommend enough🖤 Some other favorites are:

The Boys - it’s pretty gory and intense, but absolutely incredible! I started watching it with some friends this time last year. I initially wasn’t interested in it when it first came out because I was burned out from mediocre superhero stuff, but The Boys is a breath of fresh air. I love all the gray areas, and the characters (and cast!) are fantastic. Season 4 comes out some time in 2024 (I’m guessing summer), so plenty of time to catch up! I post about it on my main blog��

House MD - another one I’m watching with friends and I’m obsessed with it…Hilson is the blueprint and the show is overall INSANE. Some stuff hasn’t aged well but god…what a show

Seinfeld - I grew up watching it, and it’s pretty much my go-to for when I wanna watch something funny. I’m definitely an Elaine

Derry Girls - I recommend it to everyone I know, such a great comedy that I wish had way more episodes!

Cobra Kai - I haven’t watched the most recent season, but it’s a fun show about emotionally unstable adults getting vulnerable teenagers into karate gangs! In all seriousness, it’s pretty good despite being nostalgia bait, and I love Ralph Macchio

Also, Gen V is a spin-off of The Boys, but it holds its own incredibly well. It was one of my favorite things to come out this year!

🦇 Battie

[louisironson]

tv asks: Frasier, Seinfeld, MASH

all righty here we go!

Frasier

favorite character: niles and lilith are honestly tied, which is pretty impressive given that niles is in almost every episode and lilith shows up once a season max

funniest character: once again i have to give it to niles just because dhp’s sense of delivery and physical comedy is unmatched

best-looking character: ROZ AND LILITH don’t make me choose

3 favorite ships: niles/daphne forever obviouslyyyy, i can always go for roz/lilith, and just for fun frasier/cam winston they’re goofy

least favorite character: gertrude moon. let’s be honest daphne’s whole extended family. side note isn’t it wild that daphne’s dad is brian cox

least favorite ship: frasier/roz is just so boring to me. the show got it right they fuck once and go “huh nope never again”

reason why i watch it: i really do find it to be a smart and engaging show! it’s well-regarded for a reason and it’s because all of the writers very clearly were dedicated to their craft. shout out joe keenan ily joe keenan

why i started watching it: i like watching gay episodes of older shows and it turns out i really, really liked the matchmaker, and i just kept watching it, then ski lodge, then the doctor is out, and finally i said to myself “i should just be watching this whole show actually”. and i was right

Seinfeld

favorite character: i think i have to go with george on this one his specific brand of Being just rings so true. he sucks he’s doodoo and it’s very fun

funniest character: probably george again. he just hits my funny bone idk what to tell you

best-looking character: elaine! have you seen her.

3 favorite ships: the idea of having “ships” for this show full of the worst people in the worst relationships is a little laughable but george/any man is funny enough for me to consider

least favorite character: this one’s tough because most of the annoying characters are one-offs and so you don’t have time to resent their presence; they’re purely functional. sometimes they lean a little hard with newman

least favorite ship: the inverse of george/any man, which is of course jerry/any woman. he doesn’t deserve any of them, and i’m including elaine

reason why i watch it: i love shows full of people who suck and seinfeld got that shit right in an era where we were supposed to like our tv leads a lot more. for a show that’s hailed as being “about nothing” it’s somehow both mundane and full of plots that you could not get anywhere else. every time i think about the junior mint i just go. what the fuck.

why i started watching it: seinfeld is my one of my dad’s special interests so i was indoctrinated young

M*A*S*H

favorite character: benjamin franklin “hawkeye” pierce has quickly worked his way into my heart

funniest character: hawkeye again but tbh honorable mention to frank because something about him is just so stupid and goofy and it’s really hitting me lately. aw nertz you know

best-looking character: what was the one episode with radar and like the nurse who liked bach. i seem to remember her being exactly my type lol. and margaret

3 favorite ships: hawkeye really does need to fuck men. for enrichment. hunnihawk is classic, as is piercintyre, and my eyes have been opened to hawkeye/sidney. i wish i could talk about more women but i don’t want margaret to have to deal with any of these men and i haven’t met helen whitfield yet so i can’t speak to her. and there are sadly not nearly as many women on this show. its biggest flaw i’d say

least favorite character: i really don’t have one in mind they all generally work very effectively. i suppose that i think flagg is less fun to hate than, say, frank, but they serve very different purposes so i don’t mind that i react to them differently—flagg is recurring, not a regular, so it’s right that he’s best in small doses. is this enough of an answer

least favorite ship: cannot get behind hawkeye/radar. that’s literally his aunt you guys

reason why i watch it: i feel like it’s boring that i keep answering “it’s a really good and compelling piece of television” but why do you watch tv shows. because they’re good and you like them. that and i do suppose i like to see how gay of a sentence hawkeye can say without being questioned. (CAPTAIN SODOM??)

why i started watching it: it’s a classic of all classics. i’ve been on a real 70s sitcom kick and for whatever reason i was watching ones that were far far worse than mash and i was like i could be watching mash. so i did

[mysteriesofloves]

what sitcoms (and by extension sitcom couples) do you enjoy? 🦋

the greatest sitcom of all time—to which sitcom doesn’t nearly encompass what it is—is cheers, and sam and diane are the greatest sitcom couple, and really just one of the greatest tv couples. they make each other’s life a living hell and will never work out, and there’s nothing more fun and tragic to watch !

my personal favourite sitcom will always be frasier, my number one comfort show that i rewatch constantly, and niles and daphne are THEE slow burn couple, and one of my favourite ships ever ever ever. me and who truly.

i grew up on seinfeld. i enjoy jerry and elaine. sue me.

abbot elementary 💓 gregory and janine 💓 this is MY workplace comedy okay

never finished new girl and it’s not really a favourite of mine but jess/nick is truly life changing and i love cece/schmidt too! also my beloved iz got me to watch the office which i also haven’t finished but jim/pam. obviously. i’ve only seen the nanny when i caught it in reruns on tv growing up but loved it and plan to watch the whole thing this fall, so!

[thus-spoke-lo]

😬, 😅, 🍷and ✨!!

😬 Which of your fics would you be most horrified for friends, family, or coworkers to stumble upon?

Presently? Probably Between What Was and What Will Be (the stepdaddy Shanks fic). It’s a very taboo thing, and I think I’d be looked at more…concernedly by people I know for that than for, like, my kinky fics.

😅 What's a story or scene you've created that you're a smidge embarrassed exists?

I haven’t posted it yet (it’ll be up this weekend for Kinktober) 😬 I’m not embarrassed per se that it exists, more just for feeling seen for having written it lol.

🍷 Do you drink and write?

I don’t, but I occasionally get high and write when I’m having trouble focusing; I just have to be careful that’s it’s not the sleepier strains of weed or I just pass out with my laptop open. I tried writing cross-faded while my partner was out of town this year and I ended up getting distracted and watching Seinfeld for three hours before I took a nap.

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

I like the dialogue I write. That’s my favorite part of writing I think.

[spngirlpolls]

i have never seen another person talk about the show wings. so thank you lol i voted for that

yay! anon i love wings so much i own the box set (bc i am a physical media nerd)

here’s my pitch for wings for those of you who haven’t seen it: wings is an ensemble workplace comedy that about two pilot brothers, goofy slacker Brian and uptight Joe, who run a small airline in the island of Nantucket, Massachusetts. There’s also aspiring musician and childhood best friend Helen, who runs the lunch counter at the airport, kooky elderly flight attendant Faye, endearingly dim witted plane mechanic Lowell (played by Thomas Haden Church), and rival airline owner Roy. Later seasons feature other additional cast, most notably cab driver Antonio, played by Tony Shalhoub (from Monk, Marvelous Ms. Maisel, etc)

wings also takes place in the same universe as both cheers and fraiser, with characters from both of those shows making crossover appearances. it also has one of the most peaceful theme songs/intro sequences of all time (here)

if you enjoy 90s sitcoms like seinfeld, friends, fraiser, and the nanny, give wings a shot! it’s on hulu in the us.

[mountain-in-springtime]

what’s your favorite harry potter character?

if you don’t like/never seen harry potter or wanna answer both lol

what’s your favorite tv show?

hi my dear! i haven’t seen/read harry potter in a long time but my favorite character would probably be hagrid! i love how benevolent and kind-hearted he is.

as for my favorite tv show, it changes kind of often, but the first ones that come to mind are the original twilight zone series, seinfeld, the simpsons, and maybe stranger things as an honorable mention

[thelonesomequeen]

Oh, friend. You haven't seen Seinfeld? // no I haven’t, sorry! I’ve seen some gifs from this show and it seems funny. Thank you for answering me.

No need to be sorry! 😌🧜🏻‍♀️

[arcsin27]

Sometimes when I’m sleeping on the couch, I’ll have dreams about tv shows I’m not really into or haven’t seen in years, like the office or Seinfeld

Upon waking up I’ll discover that someone else had been watching those shows in the same room I was sleeping in, where I would’ve been able to hear them if I’d been awake

Since those were shows I wasn’t watching at the time, it can’t have been a coincidence (I hadn’t thought about Seinfeld in years before that particular incident bro)

Writing it out it feels like it’s obviously normal, it’s just that subliminal sleep messages trope or those “learn a language in your sleep” videos but I still figured I’d ask since I haven’t found others talk about it for real before

[dankusner]

A moment with Sedaris

David Sedaris might be the greatest living humorist in America, if anyone could decide what “humorist” means. (Do stand-ups count?)

The author of more than a dozen essay collections, most recently Happy-Go-Lucky , Sedaris returns to Dallas on April 25.

We talked to him about travel, his early ’80s opioid addiction and why he’s giving people permission to say “shut up.”

The Dallas Museum of Art has brought you to Dallas 15 times. Do you think of yourself as the Seinfeld of the “Arts & Letters Live” series or the Gunsmoke ?

Ooh. I’m gonna go with Gunsmoke .

I assume you’re flying on this book tour.

Flying is not in its peak form.

I’m on planes constantly, but I’ve never seen a fistfight.

I’m not on the right airlines. I think that happens on Frontier or Spirit.

The fistfight airlines [laughs].

I’m impressed you haven’t gotten into the rut of writing about travel and the publicity grind, a danger for writers who tour as much as you.

Sometimes things do happen.

I was just in Kenya, and there are a lot of missionaries.

I was on a small plane, talking with the guy across the aisle, and I told him, “I’ve just been to a little village, so impoverished, and I worried people thought I was a missionary. I would rather be mistaken for a pedophile than a missionary!”

And then he said, “I’m a missionary.”

Oh my God.

Not only was he a missionary, he was a doctor who had just performed neck surgery on a kid lying on a pingpong table in a church.

Luckily, the plane was really loud.

We could just take off, and I could just die. But I’d watched this documentary, God Loves Uganda , about missionaries in Uganda passing really restrictive bills against gays.

Anyway, I learned my lesson.

From now on, when I meet someone on the plane, I will say, “I’m not a missionary.

Are you?”

What do you read when you want to laugh? [silence] Maybe you don’t read to laugh.

I like tragic books.

I just read Dopesick , the book about opioid addiction that got turned into a series with Michael Keaton.

As a person who was a drug addict, I was able to clean myself up, but only because my dealer left town.

This was in the early 1980s, but if she hadn’t left town?

If this happened 30 years later?

I was lucky. It’s not like I had willpower.

Quitting drinking [25 years ago] was different.

There was booze all around.

But I don’t think alcohol has a grip on you the way certain drugs do.

Your writing is pretty nonpartisan, but you’re a gay man married to another gay man in a state that hasn’t always looked kindly on that. Is Texas weird for you?

I find the Dallas audience very generous.

I’ve done shows in El Paso or Odessa, and people are like, “You’re not gonna go there!”

Like it would be dangerous for me.

The place I stayed in Odessa had a replica of the Ten Commandments in front of the hotel, but the biggest queen who ever lived was behind the front desk and a trans woman was at the hair salon/coffee place in the lobby, and everybody was perfectly lovely to those people. … On

paper, a place can look pretty bad, but when it comes to community, it’s much more tolerant.

I find that all over the United States.

I’ve found I just can’t trust anybody who doesn’t laugh.

I think a lot of people feel that way, but everyone’s so afraid.

Someone I know who works in theater was having a private conversation about his ex-girlfriend, and a stagehand complained the conversation made him uncomfortable.

He got written up for it.

It’s not like he was saying, “God, I really miss raping my ex-girlfriend.”

I wonder how we get out of this.

I think it starts by saying to people, “Shut up.”

When some person complains to the head of the theater, “I was made to feel uncomfortable, because that person was talking about his ex-girlfriend,” then you say,

“This is silly, and you need to shut up.”

But nobody wants to take the hit.

I will.

[vickiabelson]

Jason Alexander Live on Game Changers With Vicki Abelson

Wow! Just wow! I’ve loved Jason Alexander since Pretty Woman, and in everything, I’ve seen him in since. He somehow managed to exceed my high hopes and great expectations as a human, a storyteller… a mensch! Such a huge fan, I was anxious that I’d muck it up being in awe. His smile as soon as he entered the Zoom room set me at ease, and his open willingness allowed the conversation to never cease flowing. 

It would be impossible to cite a favorite “part.” Each story a gem. From his family of NOVIDS (love it!) how they coped, continue to, how he met his wife, adorable story, the secret of their 40-year martial success as Jason has come to see it––magnificent, I’ve replayed that part thrice already, his parents, how he shifted his dream from magic to show biz, fabulous story there, landing his first Broadway show at 19, Sondheim and Hal Prince, please! The Rink with Liza and Chita, an inspiring tale to take forward, a terrific story about scoring Pretty Woman with a little help from a movie star new friend, and getting Seinfeld, amidst fierce competition. Creating George, changing George, Larry David, Jerry, Julia, and Michael, the group dynamic, Curb, and then we jumped to Jason’s upcoming podcast, Really No Really, with Peter Tilden, dropping in February on iHeart and then available wherever you get your podcasts. There was so much more to discuss but the time was flying. Jason agreed to come back and offered to in February to coincide with the drop. Gonna hold him to it. 

Hours later, I still haven’t stopped smiling. I got so much out of this time with Jason, much food for thought, and takeaways all over the place. The topper is that it was such exuberant fun. As much as I admired and adored Jason before, it’s that much more having spent this time in his great company. 

This is a gift to us. Happy Festivus! 

Jason Alexander Live on Game Changers With Vicki Abelson

Wednesday, 12/14/22, 5 pm PT, 8 pm ET

Streamed Live on my Facebook

Replay here: