#if you haven’t listened I recommend it’s from a song and it’s stupid

[chaoticace2005]

Okay but Niffty would be the one to like Human Centipede unironically for the plot.

(She and Al have definitely had watch parties for it to the concern of literally everyone else in their vicinity.)

[astraystayyh]

Somebody else

Hyunjin x reader. Exes to lovers. Miscommunication. Hints of past toxic relationships. Flawed characters and happy ending :)

Inspired from Somebody Else by The 1975, highly recommend listening to it while reading!

You and Hyunjin have broken up, guilt and blame simmering between you both. He doesn't care anymore, or so he thought. Then why does it hurt him to see you with someone else?

skz song series masterlist.

Strobing lights, vibrant streaks of blue and red ricocheting off your skin. Bodies pressed to yours, trying to fray themselves a passage to dance in. Someone bumps onto your shoulder but you don't care enough to even glance at them. Your eyes are fixated on Hyunjin.

You broke up two weeks ago, you don't even remember why. Petty arguments and even pettier reactions from both of you, your egos holding you back from saying what you truly feel. 

You hated arguments, especially with him. Because they reminded you of how much you cared for him, immensely so, how you regarded him as a part of your soul, one you couldn't part with. The mere thought of his departure left you feeling like a seashell washed ashore- hollow and condemned to echo the sounds of the ocean it was forcibly separated from. 

So, in the heat of the moment, you let anger pull you in her fiery hold- she's all encompassing, wrapping around you like a steel shield, making you less vulnerable in Hyunjin’s hands. But she also clouds your senses, and you find yourself uttering stupid nonsense, such as ‘Maybe we should break up’.

You’ve never thought about it, let alone wanted to end things with him. You wanted to take those words back as soon as you said them, to rewind the seconds and erase them from both of your memories. But then Hyunjin agreed, so easily, as if he was eagerly awaiting the bait you just threw at him. 'You know what? Maybe we should' and he left, slamming the door of your apartment. 

You stayed up all night, waiting for him to come back. He knew you didn't mean it, right? Surely, he understood that it was your feeble attempt to guard your wounded heart. It's been stomped on carelessly, thrown around enough that he must know you were just afraid.

But you haven’t seen him since.

And now you're both here, at the party that Changbin organized. He's your mutual friend and he insisted that you'd come as well. "Binnie, I don't want to."

"You both are just idiots who'll get back together. You’re coming," he silenced you, and you sulked in your place. But his words ignited something in you- a childish hope, that maybe he was right and Hyunjin still cared about you.

But all of it was shattered as you set foot inside Changbin’s house. It was easy to find Hyunjin, sitting in the middle of a couch, legs slightly spread apart. He was wearing a white shirt, its top buttons undone. You watched as he easily captured the attention of everyone around him, as they hung into his every word, admiring him. That's the thing with Hyunjin, it's easy to admire him, to crave being near him, because he's enchanting, and his laugh makes you want to make him happy ten times fold.  

You scoff bitterly, as someone places their hand on his arm and he doesn't move them away. He leans onto their touch and a surge of bile rises in your throat. Perhaps this is what you fought about- anger that cowardly hid behind it your insecurity at dating someone so sought after. It was foolish after all, to believe that the sun would get attached to a mere speck of light.

"You're here alone?" a voice interrupts your train of thought, and you turn around to find Chan. You smile at the familiar face, a welcome respite from the dull ache settling in your heart, making itself a home within your veins. 

"Our friends are all over the place," you explain, and he nods in understanding. "Changbin made me come but I don't know where he is," he whines, leaning closer to your ear so you could hear him over the pulsating music. 

"So, we're all here because of Bin?" you giggle and Chan's laugh fills the air, his dimples proudly on display. There was this comforting aura surrounding him, which made it much easier to breathe in his presence. And you needed to feel safe somewhere at this party, where all you saw were glimpses of Hyunjin and the hurt he inflicted on you. 

"Do you want to dance?" you ask, and Chan's grin widens in response, so you grab his forearm leading him to the makeshift dance floor.

Hyunjin silently watches as you and Chan dance with one another. He can’t see you properly, hidden by the swarms of bodies pressed together. But he gets glimpses of you each time someone moves a bit away. You appear to him like a mirage- something he once had and yet so unattainable right now.

I don’t want your body, but I hate to think about you with somebody else

Hyunjin is fine with the fact that you left him, that’s what he tells himself as he downs his drink. He’s used to people leaving after some time when he’s no longer enough. He did think that maybe things with you would be different, that for once, someone would stay. That you would shatter this idea ingrained in his mind- that he’s easily disposable, as someone told him a long time ago.

But you wished to leave him too, and for the first time in his life, Hyunjin wanted to beg someone to stay. He thought of pulling you in for a dizzying kiss, so you’d second-guess your decision, so he’d show you that he’s still good at something. But he swallowed this pathetic want and he left.

He walked slowly, thinking that maybe you’d follow him. You’d shout his name and then he’d turn back and run towards you. He’d throw his pride over his shoulder and he’d apologize.

But you didn’t.

So, he’s okay with it, or at least that’s what he thought. He doesn’t want you anymore. So why does it hurt to watch you with Chan?

Our love has gone cold you’re intertwining your soul with somebody else

An ugly thought rears itself into his brain. You’ve liked Chan long before you broke up with Hyunjin. Maybe the time you've spent with Chan, working on your musical project made your heart gravitate towards him, and you were simply awaiting the right moment to end things with Hyunjin. That’s why you’re smiling so effortlessly at Chan. That’s why he’s spinning you around, and holding your arm to move you away from a drunk couple.

Hyunjin lost you before he realized he lost you. Maybe when he laid next to you in bed you were thinking of Chan. Maybe it was his touch you longed for whenever Hyunjin hugged you. You wouldn’t be the first to do this to him. 

I’m looking through you while you’re looking through your phone and then leaving with somebody else

You’re laughing hard, and your hand is on Chan’s shoulder as he steadies you. But then you look up and your eyes lock with Hyunjin’s. He can only watch as the happiness slowly drains from your face, as you whisper something into Chan’s ear who then leads you outside. 

Hyunjin's heart sinks in his chest- he couldn't recognize you anymore, the affection once present in your eyes diluted to a mere semblance of indifference. And you still looked so beautiful to him, despite it all. He felt as if you were stabbing him with a rusty knife, and yet all he focused on was how soft your hands looked holding the bloody blade. 

Hyunjin gets up to pour himself another drink, shrugging away the hand of the person who was sitting next to him. He doesn’t want you anymore, he doesn't care that you're probably kissing Chan right now. But he secretly hopes that if he drinks enough, the faces all around him will blur until all he sees again is you.

No don’t want your body but I’m picturing your body with somebody else

"Are you okay?" Chan asks, his voice soft and concerned as you draw in a deep, shuddering breath. It feels as if there was no room in your heart anymore for oxygen, the ache for Hyunjin taking it all up.

"Is it bad that I miss him so much?" you ask, your voice sounding frail to your ears. 

"He misses you too. You know that, right?"

"He left, so easily. I don't think he does after all," you smile sadly. It hurt to utter those words out loud, because it made them feel much more real, intensifying the raw pain within you. 

"I’ve never seen him look so sad before," Chan points out and you know he's just trying to help, but it just further tears you apart. You don't want false hope, you don't want to build yourself a world where Hyunjin still wants you, only for it to be shattered afterward. 

"Can we talk about something else?" you plead and he nods, before sharing with you the ropes of his latest project. He's working on a ballad for once, and you listen attentively, allowing yourself to be absorbed in the intricacies he describes. It provides you a temporary solace, which then makes a frightening thought dawn on you. 

Is this how it will be from now on? Seeking distractions from the people surrounding you, in the hopes it will quest the thirst of the ache threatening to drown you? 

Oh, come on baby, this ain't the last time that I’ll see your face

"Yn!" Hyunjin calls out, breathless, watching you abruptly stop in your tracks. It's foolish and pathetic, but he couldn't resist following you when you bid goodbye to Chan. He was sick of the tumultuous thoughts swirling in his head. He wanted to hear them from you. It'd make accepting them easier.

"Leave me alone," you shout back, walking even faster and away from him.

"Fine, leave again. That's all you fucking do anyways," he yells angrily, frustration seeping into his words. It makes you pause once again, and you suck in a deep breath before marching back to him. 

"What's that supposed to mean?" 

"Chan? Out of all people?" he scoffs, ignoring your question. That's the only thing he kept thinking of. You and Chan, laughing, talking, dancing, the way you used to with him.

And come on baby, you said you found someone to take my place

"Fuck you Hyunjin," you spit out, turning around but he stops you, a hand wrapped around your forearm. Despite the anger cursing through him, his hold on you is still gentle. You can free yourself from him, easily.

"So, it's true, then? You replaced me with him?" Fresh pain swims in his eyes, and he makes no attempt to conceal it anymore. He was tired of pretending he was okay with you leaving.

"What is it to you, huh? You left me," you shout back, jabbing your finger forcefully into his chest. 

"I left? You're the one who said that it'd be better if we broke up!"

"It's not like you disagreed, huh? You probably felt so relieved that I handed you this outing, didn't you Hyunjin?" 

"Don't twist this on me," he says firmly, gripping your finger to halt your repetitive jabs. "Am I that easy to forget? Did I matter this little to you?" He questions, voice cracking with his every word. 

"Let me go," you plead, tears brimming in your waterline. 

"Answer me. That's the least you could do for me. I need to hear it from you." Hyunjin has never been this unguarded with you, searching your eyes with an intensity that shakes you to the core. He's asking and yet it feels as if he's just expecting you to say yes, to reiterate the idea drilled into his mind, to prove everybody right once again. 

"I didn't forget about you, is this what you want to hear?" you whisper, voice laced with excruciating exhaustion. "You're all I thought about for the last two weeks. I heard your voice in my mind more than my own. I even kept your opened drink in my fridge just in case you might come back for it." 

"You're killing me, yn," he shuts his eyes closed forcefully, as if your words physically pained him. "Didn't you tell me that we should break up?" 

"You don't understand," you shake your head, a bitter chuckle leaving you. "Everyone loves you Hyunjin. Everyone would fight to be with you. You must know it, and it's dangerous when someone knows they can easily replace you. I have no one to protect me so I tried to protect myself. I didn't think I’ll survive if you left me too."

"Everyone loves me?" he repeats, as a newfound emotion shines in his eyes. "Are you in this everyone too? Do you love me, yn?" his voice wavers, as the weight of his question hangs in the air. 

You feel as if the world around you stills, holding its breath for your response. You know that any possible future with Hyunjin rests upon the words you'll choose to speak. You already know the answer, even though you decided to not tell him. Out of all the emotions you've ever experienced, love still scares you the most. And you're afraid of what your confession will entail, of tipping the balance towards a crueler reality- one where Hyunjin doesn't return your feelings. 

"Please let me go," you beg, as a singular tear trails out of your eyes. 

"Look at me," he urges, desperation lacing his words. But you shake your head, unable to meet his gaze, afraid that he will peel all your defenses with it. "Baby, look at me," he calls softly, as he gently wipes away your tears. The nickname sounds so familiar coming from his lips, and it further crumbles your shaky resolve.

"Don't call me that if you're leaving, please," you beg and he smiles softly at you, hooking a finger under your shin.

"Can't you see I'm too in love with you to go again?" he whispers, the tenderness in his voice washing over you, casting a flicker of hope into your heart. 

"I'm scared too," he speaks again, placing your hand on top of his widely beating heart. "I'm scared and so tired, yn. Of feeling disposable to everyone around me. When you... When you told me it'd be best if we broke up, it felt worse than anyone leaving me before. Because it was you. And I really wanted you to stay." 

"I didn't mean it, I never thought of it even, I promise you. I'm so sorry." The words tumble from your lips in a rush, an earnest attempt to keep the hope alive, to prevent it from withering down. "Please stay. I love you, I truly do," you plead, no longer caring how vulnerable you sound in that instant. You curl your hand around his, and he intertwines his fingers with yours, squeezing them gently. And you feel as if the universe exhales in relief, resuming its usual course. 

"I never wanted to leave either. And when I saw you with Chan I thought I lost you for good," his voice is softer now, as if embarrassed of his own admission. "It hurt, more than I imagined it would." 

You press your forehead against his, closing your eyes to relish in the feeling of being so close to him once again. 

"Really?" you tease gently, a glimmer of a smile playing at the corners of your mouth. "You looked perfectly fine to me."

"What do you even know,” he mutters quietly, before pressing his soft lips onto yours.

[iluvapplesxh]

⧽⧽Time Slows⧼⧼

❀ pair: billie eilish x fem!reader

✰ summary: Nothing you did ever seemed to be enough, and you felt helpless, falling down lower with each passing moment without help, but all you needed was Billie. She'll always be there. And she'll help you back up whenever.

✯ warnings: eating disorders, cursing, vomit, bulimia, purging, I beg you, if any of this triggers you do not read, comfort, !ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE!

✒ a/n: I love writing requests sm. Also, I recommend listening to this song, sets the mood lol. still kinda feel like I didn't give this request my all but 🤷‍♀️.

Aren’t you hungry?

Have you eaten yet?

Didn’t you also skip lunch?

Haven’t you eaten already?

Again?

Nothing was ever good enough, you guessed. If you ate, it was too much. If you didn’t, it wasn’t enough. Nothing seemed to satisfy the people around you, or yourself either.  You tried everything, you worked out religiously for weeks, nothing, you did several stupid diets, nothing, you distracted yourself from your boredom, but not long enough to not go out for a snack. Then another one. And even though your chest felt heavier and heavier with each bite, you didn’t stop the routine. Not when the bites became harder to swallow with the tightness of your throat while your eyes burned with tears.

So, this was your last resort. Eating, rushing to the bathroom and making it all come back up.

Deep down, you knew it wasn’t the right way to do this and it will probably do more damage than good, both to your mental and physical health, but it felt too good. The numbers on the scale flying down, seeing your body shrink, feeling a sense of satisfaction when you stood in front of the mirror and the lines of our ribs stared back at you with a manipulative grin, hearing the people around you say those words.

Wow, look at you! You’ve lost so much weight!

Damn, you look so much better like this. No offense.

(...)

Right. No offense but every time you even dared to think about food the thought of losing this newfound satisfaction, the compliments, pushed right back against it and somehow always won. You knew you were a goner when you’d eat, and you wouldn’t even have to try to make yourself gag on your fingers for it to come back up, you just had to be fast enough to run to the bathroom and it came right back up without argument.

And, somehow, you didn’t stop there. Not until the compliments turned into small frowns of concern and worried words.

I don’t think losing weight that fast is healthy.

Hey, you okay? You seem pale.

“Are you okay, baby?”

Your head snapped up from the spot you were staring at, eyes locking with your girlfriend’s worry-filled blue ones and you shot her a confused look. 

“You haven’t touched your food” Billie spoke again, her own hand had stopped mid-air, holding a fork with her food on it. You blinked and looked around the table briefly, seeing the worried gazes of Billie’s family.

Of course, when you had started this addictive ‘habit’ of yours, you didn’t exactly think about what would happen in a public setting. With people who actually cared about you, and had been there to try to soothe you with assuring words when they picked up on your sudden weight loss, which you excused to ‘gym exercises became efficient’ to ease their worry. 

And when Billie excitedly invited you to have dinner with her family for her brother’s birthday party or something, she hadn’t really explained, but the way her eyes sparkled with excitement at the thought of having dinner with her loved ones after such tiring long weeks of press and work, you just couldn’t form a proper excuse.

You cleared your throat and glanced down at your still full plate of…something. Then you looked into Billie’s eyes again and sighed before sending her a comforting smile. “Oh, yeah. I guess I got lost in thought, huh.” Chuckling half-heartedly, you straightened up and held your own fork firmer, gathering some of the food on it.

Billie’s eyes burned onto your form, watching with furrowed brows as your hand shook the slightest bit when it grasped at the fork, or how your eyes clouded with something of a fearful look while your eyes watched your own movements. 

Your hand slowly lifted and brought the cutlery up to your lips. You swallowed your saliva harshly before your mouth opened and you placed the metal against your tongue, the food sliding off the fork before you pulled it away. A sudden sick feeling in your stomach almost made you spit it right back out but you swallowed with a hum, smiling at Billie.

Her eyes narrowed in skepticism as she watched you eat and swallow the small amount of food, the paleing skin of your face contracting for a mere second before the smile took over, but Billie caught it and her heart sped up.

She’s been watching you, like a hawk since you started to lose the ‘extra’ weight you thought didn’t make you any more beautiful than anyone else. She knew you had struggles, but didn’t want to push when she didn’t have anything to reason with. She also just didn’t want to believe her own head. She wanted it to not be true, but when you suddenly got up literally not even five minutes later and rushed towards the bathroom, it was the last straw and she quickly bolted after you, face etched with worry and her bottom lip pulled between her teeth as she neared the bathroom.

She pulled the door open and when the sounds of gagging and coughs between groans hit her ears, her pulse picked up as well as her steps. The moment she reached the stall with the door wide open and her eyes fell on your hunched over figure, her own face paled and a small gasp left her lips before she hurriedly marched forward, hands gathering the silky strands of your hair and one of them held it in a makeshift ponytail while the other rubbed your back.

When you finally stopped gagging and coughing, her gaze dropped to the toilet bowl and her chest tightened at the sight of the small food you’ve just eaten, drenched with the acids of your obviously empty stomach and she felt herself getting sick before she tore her gaze away and helped you up, catching you when your feet gave you and guiding your body to the sinks.

“Come on, baby. Let's wash your face” She whispered sweetly, letting you lean against the marble sink with one of her arms still around your torso and the hand of the other reaching to open the tap. Her fingers shook as she held her hand under the streaming water before she lifted it up to your face, wiping it gently. She repeated the action but her hand stopped on your cheek when she felt hot tears hit her cold hands. 

Her eyes met your blurry ones and she shushed you tenderly, but her own heart stung in her chest when your head dropped. She shook her head and tilted your head back up with her hand still on your cheek. 

“I’m-...I’m so sorry, Billie. I-...” A choke cut you off and Billie quickly turned the tap off, pulling you into her. Your chin rested on her shoulder as her arms circled your trembling body. She held back her own tears when your waist felt strangely small and a shaky breath left her.

“It’s okay, baby. It’s okay. Shh, shh” One of her hands moved up to your head, caressing your hair gently.

It took a while for your sobs to die down, and even when they did, you stayed clinging to Billie while her arms held you tightly. Guilt was all you felt. For eating, for vomiting, for lying to Billie, for not talking to her.

“Can you look at me, please?” Her voice was soft and melodic against your ear and you reluctantly pulled back enough for your eyes to meet and yours welled with tears again at the look in Billie’s. She shook her head and shushed you again, rubbing your sides with her hands. “Talk to me, baby. I need you to tell me what is it you’re feeling” 

You swallowed, feeling your throat dry up when you tried to speak. “I-...” You started, trapping your bottom lip between your teeth for a moment before letting go. “I’m tired, Billie.” Your voice cracked mid-through her name and you took a deep breath. “I-...I’m so fucking tired of everything. I-...I want to be perfect, so bad, and I’ve tried and tried but nothing is ever fucking enough” You pulled further away and rubbed your face with your hands. “I’m hungry, then I’m sick and guilty and then I’m crying and I’m exhausted. I don’t want to live like this” You spoke, sadness and desperation laced into your voice like venom. “I just want to be normal and pretty and not hating myself but the more ‘satisfied’ I become from…this, the lower I fall and it feels like I can’t get myself up no matter what” 

Billie listened with a small frown on her face, her throat burning as she felt the need to cry crawl up in it. She didn’t want this for you. She didn’t want you to feel like this. Like you weren’t enough. It was a really big, harsh punch to the gut and she felt like she failed as a girlfriend because how were the signs not obvious? How did she push her worry away for you so easily? 

She reached out again, her soft, now warm hands cradling your face and your breathing calmed. “I know, I know” Billie murmured in a small voice, pulling your body close to hers again. “I’m so fucking sorry for not getting you up when you fell down the first time, baby.” Her own voice cracked this time and your lips parted, ready to speak but she shushed you. “I’m here now, okay? And I’m gonna help you back up. I promise, I’m not going anywhere, love” 

Your eyes brinked with tears again and a lump formed in your throat as you nodded. A small, whispered ‘Thank you’ left your lips in a choked back manner and the feeling of Billie’s forehead leaning against yours made the chaos in your head still for that moment. 

“I love you. So fucking much and I’ll never leave you alone again, you hear me?” 

All you could do was nod again, but that was more than enough for her. You were more than enough for her. And that was all that mattered. You would learn to not care about being enough for anyone else, because the only person who really mattered was here and she was holding you. There was no fucking way she’d ever let you go again.

✒ a/n: so I do feel like I didn't quite capture the meaning and the seriousness of an ed but I want you to know that if you are going through of any kind I love you and it's going to be okay, even when everything around you tells you otherwise <3

REQUESTS OPEN ♡

[xi4ohuhu]

Disturbing the black-furred monkey 😵‍💫😵‍💫

Where you spam Macaque with cute cat videos and more at four in the morning 💀

Tons of fluff and crack! No warnings. Only time where there isn’t fluff/crack is when macaque overthinks. Nicknames used: darlin’/darling, sweetheart n cutie (macaque to reader, reader calls macaque “Mac”). Reader was consumed by isolation in the past. Reader is close friends w Macaque, flirts w him, is a demon like him, and has an extroverted n lewd personality, Macaque has a crush on reader 💘

Recommendation: Listen to this song on repeat while reading!!

Macaque is starting to regret giving you his number. You pleaded with those puppy eyes that he desperately tried to resist, but ended up giving in and giving you his number for “work”.

Yeah, no. The messages were far from just work and business, but it was mainly you spamming Macaque with videos of cats, sending silly two cats together with the caption, “us”. Plus, dumb voice messages of you giggling, laughing, gossiping or even saying the most diabolical thing ever!

Stupid, so damn stupid, but oh, all these little quirks of yours only made Macaque more smitten with you. Not like he’d ever admit it!

The dark-furred monkey groans, waking up at night again for the third time this week. He’s been having nightmares recently, hearing muffled screams from the future with his six-ears. As cool as it might sound, sometimes, Macaque wished he didn’t have the ability to hear the past and future.

But the screams… They sounded awfully like your voice. Macaque quickly shakes it off, it’s a terrifying thought. He’s scared, scared of losing you more than he’ll admit.

He sighs, leaning back against his pillow and taking his phone from the nightstand, half-lidded eyes widened to see over twenty messages from you. It’s literally four in the morning, what are you still doing awake?

He decides to check each and every single one anyway, responding to each of them too. But he sighs in mock-exasperation listening to your voice recordings of you giggling to that video you sent him earlier. “For the Jade Emperor’s sake, it’s four in the morning. Darlin’, go to sleep.” Macaque texts, pressing the send button.

“But I ain’t tired, Mac! And I miss you, like a lot. You’re the only one that tolerates me, and you have such a sexy voice. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. But I could ask the same, why are you awake?” You replied, and he could still practically hear your giggling through the phone screen.

“Please lemme come over, I’m suuper bored here! Anyway, that video was so funny, did you see the kid fall?! I mean, I feel bad, but I still can’t stop laughing.” Your text reads, and you send a cute picture of a white and black cat cuddling with the caption, “us?”

Come to think of it, Macaque kinda missed your face. Just a little… Or maybe more. That stupid grin of yours, your lewd jokes, and the way you make him smile like no other. You send another voicemail, and Macaque hesitates before playing it, “Would you consider jacking off to be a sport?”

Nope, Macaque immediately pauses the voicemail, flinching at the sudden loud voice of the emphasis on “jacking off”. He lets out another sigh when you sends another voicemail of yourself giggling. You’d always been one for these dirty and lewd jokes, but that made things all the more interesting.

Plus, the opponents’ faces were always priceless whenever you gave a show of your inappropriate humour. However, perhaps even a little surprising, you don’t have any other friend besides Macaque, consumed by loneliness. Your previous friends have all found you annoying and dropped you, and you haven’t had a chance to interact with the Monkey King, MK and his friends. That’s why you’re so clingy towards Macaque, because you feel that he’s the only one you can truly be yourself around.

Macaque listens to your messages, and a fond smirk creeps onto his face. As much as he pretends to be annoyed by your antics, the truth is that he finds them endearing. He can’t help but feel a warmth in his chest, especially when you mention missing him.

“Sweetheart, you know you’re lucky I tolerate you, right?” He texts back, his fingers dancing on the screen. “And I can’t help but be awake because of those pesky nightmares. You should know better than to ask me to come over at this hour. What if someone sees you sneaking into my place? I have a reputation to uphold.” His grin widens.

He can’t help but chuckle at the image of the kid falling in that video. “Yeah, I saw it. Classic. But don’t go around showing those videos to everyone, cutie. They’ll think you’re a bit too… eccentric.” Macaque teases, sending a playful wink emoji, even if he knows that you’d wear that title like a badge of honor.

Macaque rolls his eyes at your audacity in asking if jacking off is a sport. “You really have no boundaries, do you? Not that I’m complaining. It’s entertaining, I’ll give you that.” He chuckles again, shaking his head in disbelief. You’re a whirlwind of chaos, and he’s learned to love it.

Then, with a moment of hesitation, Macaque thinks about your request to come over. “Alright, fine. Just this once. But if you wake me up again with your shenanigans, I’m throwing a pillow at you. Deal?” He sends the message, feeling a mix of excitement and trepidation. Having you over at this hour might just be the highlight of his night.

Macaque glances at the photo of the cats you sent, a soft smile gracing his lips. “You know, maybe we could be like those cats. Just don’t hog all the blankets, or I’ll have to find a way to evict you from my space, sweetheart.”

“Okay, deal! And don’t worry, I’m gonna bring tons of snacks. We can eat and eat till our stomachs explode!” Your message reads, another joke that never fails to amuse Macaque. He turns off his phone and places it on the nightstand, leaning back against his pillow and staring blankly at the ceiling while waiting for you.

He can’t text anyone, not at this ungodly hour where they’re probably asleep. Sitting up, Macaque grabs the remote controller from his nightstand and turns on the television, browsing through Netflix for any new shows, or maybe to check if either his or your favourite show has continued their episodes. Unfortunately, nope, nothing for both of you yet.

He decides to watch a short horror film, about 25 minutes long. Macaque’s too lazy to get out of bed and prepare something to eat, so he just continues to relax on his bed. Besides, you’re bringing snacks anyway. Huh, speaking of you… The film has already ended, but you still aren’t here. You don’t live very far, about a 15 minute walk would have you arrive at Macaque’s place. He sends a few texts, asking you where you’re at, but receives nothing back. And it’s weird, you always respond immediately to him.

Worry gnawed at his heart, and he hoped those screams he heard in the future didn’t actually come true. Was it a warning, a curse that he’s able to hear the future? He paces around the room, mind coming up with scenarios of what could possibly happen. But you’re a literal demon, and he’s seen you in combat with your weapons. You can definitely stand your ground in a fight… But what if your opponent was stronger without your knowledge? No, he refuses to think negatively about you.

Just when he was thinking of looking for you himself, Macaque hears something at his balcony. He slides the curtains, only to see you blinking at him awkwardly, trying to walk through the balcony door. But your stomach’s grown large? Any average or normal person would come through the door, but nooo, you decide to make a grand entrance through the balcony instead.

You waddle like a penguin sideways, managing to fit through the door. You then lift up the jacket you’re wearing and packets of different snacks fall out, but half of them were Macaque’s favourites. You remembered, but you really were being for real about bringing tons of snacks. “Told ya I’d bring snacks-” You giggle, then cut yourself off.

Macaque can’t help but burst into laughter at the sight of you, waddling through the balcony door like a penguin. “You’ve got to be kidding me, darling! You look like you’re about to pop!” he teases, shaking his head in disbelief. ��I thought you were bringing snacks, not a whole buffet!”

“No, wait. Mac, I’m carrying your child.” You add dramatically, then leap into his arms for a hug. You love and adore whenever Macaque catches you and twirls you like a princess. “I finally get to see you in person again. I missed you so much, Mac!” You smile, your grin widening even further when he reminds that you’ve just seen each other just yesterday.

“Exactly, that’s way too long to be apart from you! I was dying without you! You know no one adores you as much as I do.” Another giggle. “Okay, jokes aside, did you text me? Sorry for making you worry, I was busy tryna stuff all these snacks into my big belly, and it’s hard to text with it blocking my sight a little too. That’s why I took so long to come here.” You give an awkward smile, and Macaque feels relief wash over him.

He catches you effortlessly as you leap into his arms, twirling you around with ease. “You missed me, huh? You really are dramatic, cutie. But I have to admit, seeing you like this, it’s hard not to smile.” He puts you down gently, his heart feeling a little lighter now that you’re here.

“Ah, don’t worry about the texts. I was just… being a worrywart,” he admits, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “You know me, always thinking the worst. But now that you’re here with your treasure trove of snacks, I think I can breathe a little easier.”

He eyes the snacks that spilled out from your jacket, both amused and impressed. “Alright, show me what you’ve got, darling! But remember, I’m not sharing my favorite ones!” He playfully narrows his eyes at you, knowing full well you’d probably try to snag them anyway. “And what do you mean you’re carrying my child? If that’s the case, we’d better start planning for a monkey army!” He adds with a wink, leaning against the door frame, feeling that familiar warmth spreading through him just being in your presence.

“Now, come on! Let’s feast like the royalty we are.” Macaque gestures for you to follow him to the living room, an excited grin on his face. He’s more than ready to spend the rest of the night indulging in snacks and sharing laughter with you.

“Okay!” You nod, joining Macaque with a bright smile. When you reach the living room, both of you sit comfortably on the cozy couch, dim lighting setting a warm ambiance as you watch the horror movie together. You’re wrapped in a soft blanket, leaning slightly towards Macaque, his eyes fixed on the screen. He holds a big bowl of chips, which you both reach into occasionally, savoring each bite.

Nearby, other snacks you brought are scattered on the coffee table—some candy, a bag of popcorn, and a couple of drinks within easy reach. You and Macaque’s expressions shift with the scenes—sometimes laughing at lewd jokes, sometimes gasping whenever a plot twist occurs, other times dramatically acting scared. But one thing is for sure—both Macaque and you are totally immersed in the movie and each other’s company, and you wouldn’t trade this moment for anything.

As the movie ends, Macaque finds you resting against his shoulder, finally wore out. After all, even a hyperactive demon needs rest occasionally. He’ll clean up the bowls, drinks, and the empty packets tomorrow. For now, he lifts you into his arms and heads to his bedroom, gently placing you down on his bed. He joins in, arms wrapped around you, and your body instinctively moves closer to him, your face nuzzling into the crook of his neck. Macaque finds himself closing his eyes too, and you both drift off into a deep slumber…

The next morning, Macaque was woken up by the sunlight, and he turns to see the clock that shows afternoon. It’s lunchtime, but because the two of you stayed up so late, he figured he’d just stay in bed a little more. The cozy atmosphere made it difficult for him to get out of bed.

Macaque stirs awake, the sunlight streaming through the curtains illuminating the room in a soft glow. He blinks a few times, trying to fully comprehend where he is. Then, he feels the warmth of your body pressed against him, and a wave of calm washes over him.

He gazes down at you, a fond smile on his face as he takes in the adorable sight. Your messy hair, the drool pooling at the corner of your mouth, and the way you cling to him so tightly—it’s all charming in a way that makes his heart flutter. “You really are something else, aren't you, sweetheart?” he whispers, brushing a stray hair from your face gently.

Getting out of bed with an adorable view like this? Nah. And besides, you looked pretty charming wrapped in his blanket, even with the drool pooling in the corner of your mouth, even with your soft snoring, and yes, even with your messy hair. You still cling onto him, arms wrapped around his chest. Then, Macaque’s came to realise that he slept throughout the night without any nightmares at all. As long as you’re here with him, he feels his worries wash away. If you just continue to stay by him, you’ll be safe, right?

“Everyone thinks I’m crazy…” You murmur in your sleep, a sign of your habit in sleep-talking. Whether you mean the stuff you say or not, well, it remains a mystery for now. “Crazy for you, oh boy…” Perhaps you’re dreaming about him?

When he hears your sleep-talking, his smile grows wider. “Crazy for me, huh? That’s what I like to hear,” he chuckles softly to himself. Macaque can’t help but feel a warmth settle in his chest at the thought of being in your dreams, even if he knows you might not remember it when you wake up.

He relaxes back into the pillows, wrapping his arms around you a little tighter, savoring the moment. The world outside can wait; right now, he cherishes this peacefulness. Thoughts of nightmares and worries linger in the back of his mind, but they seem to fade away with you beside him.

“Guess we’re both a little crazy, aren’t we?” he murmurs, pressing a light kiss to the top of your head. “But I wouldn’t change it for anything, darlin’.” He closes his eyes again, allowing himself to drift back into a light doze, content just to be here with you. The chaos of the outside world can stay at bay for just a little while longer.

———————THE END——————

Author’s note: oh my gyatt I’m back 💀 lost interest in writing for months which is why this fic is prob a little crappy 😵‍💫 my fixation rn is lego monkie kid 💪💪 loveveve macaque n wukong sm 💘

Psst, btw, can you find the reference I made? 🤭

[obsessedelusional]

Destroying Yourself to Keep a Friend

paring ✦ Eddie Munson x Fem Reader

summary ✦ You befriend Eddie Munson as an attempt to piss off your toxic on and off again boyfriend, Jason Carver. Only for you start comparing the two, quickly realizing Jason is no longer who you have feelings for. MODERN AU

word count ✦ 6.9k

authors note ✦ This song has been stuck in my head for weeks inspired this piece. 10/10 recommend you giving it a listen Drunk Text by Henry Moodie REPOSTING THIS BC NO ONE SAW IT ):

masterlist

FEEDBACK AND REBLOGS APPRECIATED!!

⊹ ꙳ ✦ ⁺ �� ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹

1st of November

The night had started because you had a gut feeling about Jason doing something shady. He started growing more distant than he already was. When you two found time to be together, he was hiding his phone. Rumors starting circulating around school that he was cheating on you. So when found out he was at a party that you didn’t know about you had to show up. Eddie was your ride, waiting for you outside. Only to arrive and see some blonde wrapped around his waist, she was a cheerleader. You stood there, Jason entirely oblivious to your arrival. Until she kissed him, him kissing her back.

“I can’t believe you.” You say, causing Jason to look up wide eyed from the kiss, pushing the girl off him.

“No it’s not what it looks like.” He pleads with you, reaching out to you. You push his hands away.

“Fuck this.” You mutter, as you leave. He follows you outside.

“I just thought that’s what we’re doing now. Fucking around with other people.” He yells from the front door, you’ve almost reached Eddie’s van.

“I’m not stupid. You’ve been fucking Munson.” He accuses you causing you whip around to face him.

“You are stupid. So fucking stupid. I haven’t done anything with him only because I’ve been faithful to you!” You croak. Jason reaches for you once again, profusely apologizing.

“Fuck you.” You say before hopping in Eddie’s van. That’s when it hits you, he definitely heard all of that.

“Are you okay?” He asks.

“I really don’t want to talk about it.” The rest of the ride is silent. Only a quick goodbye when he drops you off at your home. Before you can even make it to your door he catches up with you stopping you from going inside, he wants to say something but can’t get it out. Jason’s car pulls up to your house.

“I swear if you get in that car with him whatever this is we’re done. I can’t do this anymore.” Eddie admits, finally hitting his breaking point.

“Eddie-“

“I’m serious. I can’t keep standing by watching Jason treat you like shit.” The sight in front of you breaks your heart, you can feel the pain in his voice. More upset at how you’ve made Eddie feel than just finding out Jason’s been cheating on you. Jason is yelling from his Jeep parked out in the road, demanding you to leave with him.

“I’m sorry. I can’t-” Your voice is shaky.

“Forget it.” Eddie says, turning around leaving you on your front porch. He says some not so nice but we’ll deserved words to Jason before hopping in his van and driving off. Jason climbs out of his car approaching you. You can’t handle this. You don’t want Jason. You want Eddie but that’s not fair to either of them right now. You need to be alone. Before Jason can reach you, you slip in side quickly locking the door behind you.

“What the fuck?” Jason yells, rattling the door handle.

“Go away, Jason.” You say between his screaming. You find your headphones, find the playlist of all your saddest songs and turn the volume so high you can’t hear him anymore.

—

5th of November - A Few Days Later

“Dude you need to tell her how you feel. Get it over with.” Jeff grumbles irritated by this entire situation. Jeff and Garth always being there to console Eddie after your many breakups with your on and off again boyfriend, Jason Carver. Eddie knows Jeff’s right but simply refuses to take his advice.

“You know it’s not that easy.” Eddie groans, rubbing his eyes from lack of sleep he’s been having this last week. He hasn’t spoken to you since the first, the night you caught Jason cheating. He’s been staying up late every night drafting messages to send you. A message that would let you know how he truly felt. Usually going something like this:

I wish I was who you drunk texted at midnight. Wish I was the reason you stay up 'til 3, you can't fall asleep because you’re waiting for me to reply. I wish I was more than just someone you walk by. That I wasn't scared to be honest and open, instead of just hoping you’d feel what I'm feeling inside.

DELETE

“You’re destroying yourself to keep a friend.” Garth says.

“A shitty friend at that.” Jeff adds.

“Jason cheated on her. Yet she went back to him. What more does she have to do for you to move on?” Garth asks, Jeff nodding in agreement.

—

The Past

Two years ago you befriended Eddie to spite Jason, he was well aware of that but still let you hang around. Only for you to find the person you felt safest around. You could be your self without the fear of judgement. It didn’t take long before Eddie was the one you ran to at any minor inconvenience or major.

You’d been dating Jason since junior high, now the two of you seniors in high school. He wasn’t the sweet kid you grew to love any more. He was bully to everyone, especially you. Things really began going downhill when he joined high school basketball his freshman year. Harassing you to become a cheerleader because the best basketball player should have a cheer leader girlfriend. You did it for six months before quitting, the cliquey bullshit too much to handle. That was the first time he broke up with you. Lasted all of a week until he came back, begging you to take him back. You did, part of you regrets that to this day.

Several months later you overheard the popular girls talking about how they didn’t understand why Jason was with you. Tears in your eyes you went to Jason in the hopes he’d soothe your worries. Only for him to confirm what they were saying about you. ‘What do you expect? I’m on the basketball team and you’re nobody. I tried to help you by having you join the cheer squad. Sometimes I wonder why I’m even with you.’

His evil words only made you angry, you broke it off with him on the spot. His teammates watched the whole thing go down because you interrupted their practice to talk to him. You were so embarrassed. On your way out of the gym you bumped into Eddie Munson with tears running down your cheeks.

“I’m sorry.” You whisper, looking up at the tall man in front of you.

“It’s okay…” His voice trails off when he notices your teary eyes.

“Are you okay?” He asks, genuine concern in his voice and eyes. You’re not sure what comes over you but almost immediately you start crying even harder and muttering ‘Jason is a dick’.

“That’s something we can agree on.” He laughs, bringing a smile to your face while still crying attempting to rub the tears away.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Eddie asks, you half wondering why he’s being so nice to you considering how terrible Jason is to him. While also thinking to yourself Jason finding out you’ve been hanging around Munson would infuriate him. Maybe feel as half as angry as you feel in this moment. You nod yes before following Eddie to the drama club room.

There was an hour till his Hell Fire club meeting. The two of you sat on a used and abused love seat, he listened as you ranted spilling all the details of your breakup. He actually listened, Jason never listens to you anymore. More often than not talking over you. You felt bad comparing the two of them but couldn’t help it. Your moment with Eddie was cut short when Dustin came into the room, he looked surprised by your presence.

“I should get going. Thanks for listening to me.” You smile, standing up. Eddie follows you standing up, startled when you wrap your arms around him. Hugging him before leaving, giving Dustin an awkward smile as you walk out the room.

“What the fuck were you doing with Jason Carvers girlfriend?” Is what you hear from outside the room.

—

Eddie thought that was the end of you two. Only to receive a friend request from you that night. He accepts it and without missing a beat, you message him. Thanking him again.

Eddie: it’s no biggy

You: it was to me

Eddie: ya know I thought you’d be different

You: wdym

Eddie: your nice just always assumed anyone who could put up with Jason Carver had to just as awful

You: well I always thought you were scary but turns out you’re pretty sweet

Eddie can’t help but blush at your words. Realizing quickly he shouldn’t be reacting this way. Your Jason Carvers ex girlfriend, you could never be with a freak like him.

Eddie: me? sweet? never.

—

Eddie spent the entirety of that weekend glued to his phone waiting for your responses. He kept telling him self he needed to stop messaging you. Only for you to respond and he’d waste no time sending you a message back.

“Who the hell are you talking to that’s taking all your attention?” Jeff asks. Nobody believes him when he says he’s messaging you.

“Jason Carvers girlfriend? There’s no fucking way.” Garth sneers.

“Ex-girlfriend.” Eddie smiles causing Jeff and Garth to laugh.

“They’ve broken up like a bajillion times. They’ll be back together in a week.”

“Whatever.” Eddie mutters, good mood ruined.

They were right. A week later you and Jason had made up, dating again. To say Eddie was disappointed was an understatement. For a brief moment he genuinely thought you were feeling what he was feeling inside. Thought maybe he had a real chance with you. When he arrived to school seeing you hand in hand with Jason his heart broke. Confused how after all the shitty things you admitted about Jason you’d go back to him.

“Hey Eddie.” You smile, greeting him before the first bell.

“You look… tired.” He says, trying his best to show concern but not be rude. To put it frank you looked like shit.

“Yeah I got drunk last night. Stayed up till three am waiting for Jason to respond to the stupid drunk text I sent him.” You groan sitting next to him.

“Really?” Eddie asks, wishing he was the one you drunk texted. Wishing he was the reason you couldn’t sleep waiting for him to reply.

“Worked though because he was at my house early as fuck, apologies ready. We made up.” You smile half heartedly, part of you looking for Eddie’s reaction. He has none.

“That good.” Eddie fakes a smile before leaving you alone. He had to pretend like he was happy for you. It only got worse when later that day he was stopped by Jason in the hallway.

“You need to leave her alone, freak. As if she’d want anything to do with you.” Jasons words spit in Eddie’s face.

“We’re just friends.” Eddie says before Jason shoves past him sending him into the lockers. Jason walks off as Eddie regains his balance, picking up his backpack from the floor. Sadder than ever.

Eddie had no idea that you had been given the same instructions. You were right, befriending Eddie pissed Jason off. So much that he apologized for what he said.

Even with Jason threats, that didn’t stop you. The harder he tried to keep you two apart only made you closer to Eddie. Every time Jason pushed you away he was pushing you into Eddie’s arms.

This became most evident to you when your nana past away. As soon as you found out you called Eddie. To this day Jason doesn’t know she passed away. That night when you called Eddie tears in your eyes he dropped what he was doing to pick you up. Showed up to your home with all your favorite snacks and the first Lord of The Rings movie. You had listened to Eddie talk about it so much. Eventually asking if he’d watch them with you so you could further understand his ramblings. He was more than ecstatic to watch them with you.

That’s the night you started lying to your parents but more importantly lying to Jason. Lying about where you spent that night. And nearly every Friday night after that, using the next movie in LOTR series as an excuse to keep sleeping over at Eddie’s. After finishing that he talked you into watching The Hobbit, you happily watched given an excuse to spend more time with Eddie. You’d miss Jason’s basketball games to be with him. When first being picked up you were always filled with guilt. Only for the feeling to subside when you see Eddie’s smiling face in the drivers seat. Little did you know that Eddie was missing out on HellFire meetings eventually having to change the day they held the meetings to Thursdays. That didn’t go over well with the guys, only adding to their list of reasons to dislike you.

Sleepovers at Eddie’s started off as innocent. His uncle worked nights so you’d two have the trailer to yourselves. At first he offered you his bed while he slept on the couch. That only lasted a few times before he started sleeping on the floor near his bed where you slept. The next time you were upset about something Jason did you fell asleep on his chest, face sticky from crying. He didn’t dare move you, shortly falling asleep under your touch. After that is was just some kind of unspoken rule that it was okay to sleep in the same bed. Couldn’t help but worry what Jason would think, how mad it would make him. What he would do to Eddie if he knew.

One night spent at Eddie’s lead to drinking. The two of you got drunk together. Only Eddie didn’t drink nearly as much as you, wanted to make sure you were safe. One of you needed to be sober and he was more than happy be the coherent person in the room. You were angry at Jason and wanted nothing more than to forget. It was nearly midnight when you pulled your phone out and started drunk texting Jason. Letting him know exactly how mad you were, Eddie fast asleep next to you. The message made no sense, filled with errors.

You: duck you us used to be soooo good now your a asshole

Jason: where the fuck are you

You started panicking immediately. Remembering that Jason definitely had your location on. Always turning it off when Eddie picked you up. Texting him only made him think to check it realizing it was off.

You: nunya

Jason: wtf

You: business lol

It wasn’t that funny though. Your phone started blowing up. Him asking if your drunk and how you better not be with Eddie. Several missed calls and texts leads you to shutting your phone off. You lay awake till 3 am. Your brain storming with your thoughts. Praying that Jason doesn’t just show up to Eddie’s home cause that’s definitely something he’d do. After a few restless hours you decide to focus on the beautiful sweet man next to you. You truly felt like you didn’t deserve him. He was so nice, always there for you. You watch Eddie for a while, watching the way his chest moves as he snores. The moon light from the window, giving you just enough light to admire him. You’re too busy examining the tattoos on his arms to notice him waking up.

“Everything okay?” He asks voice low and scratchy, startling you. He rubs the sleep from his eyes, sitting up better to see you.

“Kinda.” You whisper.

“Kinda?”

“I did something so stupid.” You groan, remembering the events before Eddie woke up.

“What did you?” He asks worry in his voice. You turn your phone back on, waiting for the screen to turn on you start explaining.

“I drunk texted Jason.” Eddie says your name in a disappointed voice. Just as he does that your phone turns on dinging from all the missed texts.

“Is that him?” Eddie asks.

“Yes.” The messaged stop on the most recent one, from forty minutes ago.

Jason: whatever he can have you. you two freaks deserve each other

“What’s he saying?” Eddie asks, concerned.

“He wants to know where I’m at. Why my location is off.” You leave out the messages about him. Eddie doesn’t say anything.

“I was scared he was gonna show up here. I think he’s given up for now, I’m sorry.” You apologize for waking him up.

“It’s fine.” He says half heartedly before turning his back to you to go back to sleep. You can’t help but feel like it’s not fine.

The next morning you woke up early. Did your best to not wake Eddie up as you slinked out of bed. Grabbed your belongings before taking one last look at the man laying there. You couldn’t help but feel like you fucked something up. Your dads refusal to let you get license leads to you bumming rides of people. Used to be Jason but you can not call him now. A swift text to your only friend left that wasn’t pushed away by your relationship with Jason, Sarah leads to to her picking you up.

“You look like shit.” Sarah says as you climb into the passenger seat.

“I feel like shit.” You sigh.

“What happened?” She asks as she starts her car, slowly pulling out of the trailer park. You explain the events of last night.

“Why do you even put up with Jason?” Before you can respond she adds to her statement.

“When you have someone like Eddie?”

“What do you mean?” She rolls her eyes at your unawareness.

“We’ll I may of heard some things.” She admits.

“Things?”

“Ya know his friends Jeff and Garth?” You nod yes.

“They’re in my PE class. I got put into a group with them. They spent the entire period talking shit about you.” She half laughs.

“About me?” What could they possibly have to say about you?

“Yeah how Eddie’s so hopelessly in love with you but you don’t deserve him. Cause your and I quote ‘a giant bitch’. I don’t think your a bitch just a little clueless.” She laughs more, you don’t find it funny. Overwhelmed with all this new information. Everything starting to make so much sense. Sometimes you wondered if he had feelings for you. You’ve felt them there shortly after meeting Eddie. Constantly pushing them back down in the depths of your mind, trying your best to forget. All you’ve ever known is Jason.

“I don’t even know what to say.”

“Do you like Eddie?” She asks. Your lack or response is all the response she needs to know the answer.

“I’ve tried to keep my mouth shut over the years to keep you as a friend but Jason is a piece of shit. You could truly do so much better.” She explains, turning down your street. There’s a few moments of silence until she parks in front of your home.

“I’ll support you no matter what you do. Just know I’m Team Eddie.” She laughs.

“Thanks I think.”

“Plus I think Jeff’s kinda cute. We could like totally go on double dates.”

“Yeah I’m sure he’d love to be around the giant bitch.” Your voice is filled with sarcasm.

“I love the giant bitch. They’ll learn to love her too.”

Rolling your eyes, “I love you too.” You step out of her car, thanking her one last time before she drives off. Leaving you alone with all the new information. Now having to decide what you’re going to do.

—

5th of November

“Quite frankly she’s a bitch.” Jeff says laughing, Garth laughs with him.

“Shut the fuck up. You don’t know anything.” Eddie argues, a bit of anger in his tone.

“Whatever if you’re not gonna take our advice. We won’t stop you, let you destroy yourself for a friendship.” Jeff responds. The group’s attention is switched to the faint knock at the door.

“I swear to god if it’s her.” Garth groans annoyed. Eddie stands up from where he’s sat heading to the door. Part of him praying it’s not you, the other part of him always wishing it was you. The opening of the door reveals you, stood there freezing cold in the winter weather. Your nose is runny as the tears have yet to leave your eyes yet. They are there though, brimming your eyelids. Eddie’s confused as to how you got here.

“I’m sorry I just really needed to talk to you. You weren’t answering your phone and I couldn’t wait any longer.” You explain. Eddie’s desperately trying to come up with a solution. If he lets you in he pisses his friends off. If he doesn’t let you in, he misses out on being there for you. He’s always there for you.

“How’d you get here?” He asks, peering around looking for an unfamiliar vehicle that may of dropped you off.

“I walked.” You croak.

“From your house?” He sighs.

“That’s like thirty minutes of walking and in this weather? You’re gonna get sick.” His voice filled with concern.

“Yeah I really wanted to talk to you.”

“The guys are here-“ He’s immediately interrupted.

“Yeah so fuck off.” The voice is familiar, it’s Jeff. He pushed past Eddie to get in your face.

“You’re a shitty friend to Eddie. Always taking. Just leave him already and run along to Jason. Like you always do.” Jeff spits in your face. The tears leave your eyes as you try to scan Eddie’s face for his reaction. He has none, refusing to look at you.

“I’m sorry.” Is all you can mange to say, turning around to leave. Starting the walk home. Your dad had left you alone for the night so you snuck into his liquor cabinet, drinking the one you knew he didn’t care for. Trying everything in your power to numb all the feelings you were feeling. The feelings for Eddie that were there and the feelings for Jason that left a long long time ago. Beating your self up for not realizing sooner and putting Eddie through so much. You were so drunk that you thought walking to Eddie’s home to confess your feelings to him was the answer to all your problems. He wasn’t answering your messages or phone calls. The last thing you had expected was to be told to fuck off, you deserved it though. You deserved everything that had come your way.

About 20 minutes into your walk a car pulls up behind you, slowly following you. So you pick up your pace, ready to make a run for it any second. Whoever it is, is yelling your name now. You recognize the voice. Making you cry even harder because even after all you did, here is Eddie trying to give you a ride home.

“Get in my car. You’re gonna get sick.” He pleads.

“I’m fine, Eddie.” The sound of the car shutting off and the car door opening then slamming shut, doesn’t stop you. Only makes you pick up your pace.

“Acting like I won’t walk you all the way home right now.” Eddie huffs, irritated.

“You don’t have to. Please Eddie just go back to your friends. I’ll be fine.” You say, unwilling to look his way. He doesn’t stop though, an uncomfortable silence falls between you two. He keeps walking along with you. No one speaks for another ten minutes. You’re finally home, standing at your front door, your busy trying to find your keys you don’t notice Eddie moving closer.

“Are you drunk?” He ask, he can smell the liquor on you the second he opened the door to you. All you can do is nod, embarrassed by the answer. When you finally muster up the courage to look up at Eddie he’s already looking down at you. The gap between you two is small, your intoxicated self wants nothing more than to kiss him. Unsure of what you should do after the encounter at his trailer.

“I’m sorry for being a giant bitch.” Eddie laughs at your apology.

“You’re not a giant bitch. Where did you get that?” He asks, wondering how much of their conversation you heard before knocking.

“It’s the truth, Eddie. You’re so good to me and I continue running back to Jason.” You can’t believe the words coming out, the liquor in your system may be making you a little braver than usual.

“Your friends were right Eddie. You deserve someone who’s ready to be with you. I’m not ready for anything with anyone. I need to be single for a while. All I’ve ever know is Jason.” You take a moment to catch your breath.

“I walked to your house to tell you how I truly feel about you. Only to hear what your friend had to say about me, he’s right. It’s not fair to you. I’m so sorry.” A uncomfortable silence falls between you two before he takes one last look before leaving you alone, making the sad walk back to his van.

—

April the 7th

It has been five months since you had spoken to Eddie, so much has changed. At first Eddie was extremely bitter, ignoring all your attempts to be his friend still. Soon growing to regret that when he heard through the town gossip that Jason and you had actually broken up for good. You finally found the strength to leave Jason.

It’s hard for Eddie to get by when you’re still on his mind everyday. Hard for him when he sees you all over school, your new found singleness allowing you to be more involved in socializing. Every time he sees you there’s always a brief moment of eye contact, usually you the one to quickly turn away. Does he cross your mind half as much as you cross his? Do you feel the same?

Eddie still wishes he was the one you’d drunk text, stayed up late waiting for a response from. Wondering if things would of ended up differently if he had sent those texts he had drafted so long ago, when he was too afraid to lose you. He’s never been so unsure of himself. At the time Eddie didn’t know if he told you how he felt if he’d lose you. He did nothing and lost you anyways. Thinking that the worse case scenario would be stuck being your friend for the rest of his life, watching you grow older with Jason. This was worse, much worse.

To Eddie’s surprise he’s on track to graduate next month. Wishing that you were around to share in his accomplishment. You had always been Eddie’s biggest supporter. The first time Eddie failed his senior year, you were the only person to not give him shit. Excited if anything because now you two would be seniors together, get another year with Eddie. Helping him study refusing to let him cheat because you knew he had it in him. He often thinks back to the celebration you two had when he past his first test of the year with a C+. You were so proud of him and no one else cared.

“You ready?” Jeff asks, pulling Eddie from his thoughts about you as he’s driving to this stupid party Jeff somehow convinced him to attend.

“Do we really have to go?” Eddie groans, not wanting to participate in this slightest.

“Anybody that’s anybody’s gonna be at this party. You should be grateful I was able to get an invite. We’re aren’t exactly the crowd they want there.” Jeff explains. Eddie doesn’t respond only goes back to driving. The sound of Jeff and Gareth talking fills the silence as Eddie ignores them, attempting to focus on the road.

Pulling down the street where the party is being held and you can tell there’s a party near. Cars parked nearly everywhere, taking up every spot. It takes a few laps before Eddie finds a parking spot somewhat near the house.

“This is gonna be sick.” Gareth exclaims.

“Fuck yeah!” Jeff chimes in, the two running ahead of Eddie leaving him alone to walk in the party by himself. There’s people out front, he says a few hellos before making it inside. The sound of music nearly deafening. He squeezes through the crowd to find the kitchen. Grabbing a beer, cracking it open and taking a small sip. His eyes roam the room wondering why the fuck he’s here. That when he sees Jason Carver who’s zeroing in on Eddie.

“Fuck,” Eddie whispers to him self before slipping out of the kitchen. When he sees the back sliding door opened to the back door he decides to hide out side. Before he can even make it out Jason has his shoulder in his hand pulling him backwards.

“Munson,” Jason says before letting go. When Eddie turns back to face Jason the first thing he notices is the aggressive smell of liquor. Jason is wasted, his eyes droopy and shirt soaking wet with probably beer of some sort.

“What do you want?” Eddie asks.

“I just need to know did you two ever sleep together?” Jason slurs, leaning into Eddie. Eddie only nods his head no.

“Fuck,” Jason whines.

“So she really was faithful?” Jason says, tears starting to fall down his face making Eddie uncomfortable by the entire situation. Eddie nods yes, not wanting to have this conversation.

“I fucked up big time. She hasn’t talked to me since that night she caught me cheating.” Eddie listens, trying to process that you never went back to Jason that night.

“Yeah, you definitely didn’t deserve her.” Eddie says pushing Jason off.

“Doesn’t matter dude not like she wants your either.” Jason spits, anger in his voice.

“Whatever.” Eddie mumbles attempting to leave the conversation.

“You’re a fucking freak. It’s your fault we broke up. I should break you face for that.” Jason yells, his anger growing. Eddie can’t help but laugh because maybe he was a factor in your decision to leave Jason but not the reason. The laughing only infuriates Jason more.

“Honestly just go for it. Give me an excuse to finally fuck you up.” Eddie says taunting Jason, like he’s been waiting for this moment his whole life.

“She’s not worth it.” Jason laughs, attempting to leave the conversation. Those four words ignite a fire in Eddie, an anger he’s never felt before. He reaches for Jason’s shoulder forcing him to face Eddie. Before Jason can react Eddie is throwing the first punch, square in his jaw. Sending Jason stumbling back only momentarily, once he gains his balance he charges at Eddie. Eddie moves fast enough, sending Jason tumbling onto the ground. The sound of Jason hitting the ground, brings everyone attention to the two of them.

“What the fuck, Munson?” One of Jason’s friends yells approaching him. Eddie is distracted so Jason uses that as an opportunity to swing at Eddie. His fist making contact with Eddie’s brow bone. Suddenly theres a whole group of jocks surrounding Eddie ready to step in the second Jason doesn’t have the upper hand. Eddie is in over his head knowing that he needs to make an escape, wondering where the fuck his two friends are.

Everyone at the party attempts to squeeze into the kitchen to get a view of the fight. You were sat outside by the fire pit when people starting freaking about the fight inside the home.

“What’s going on in there?” Someone asks what everyone’s wondering.

“Jason’s fucking up some long haired freak.” A girl laughs causing you to stand up from your seat. Running into the house, squeezing through the crowd. Only to find Jason and Eddie in the center of it all. Jason has a bloody nose, Eddie a black eye forming.

“Stop it.” You yell, your screams muffled by all the commotion. Jason is on top of Eddie about ready to go in for another punch. You can’t let this go on any longer, your demands to stop not getting anywhere. You attempt to push Jason off Eddie, neither of them realizing that your here now. Jason goes to push you away only to elbow you in the face. Wincing in pain causes Jason to look up from Eddie seeing you standing there. He goes to apologize instead you slam all your weight into him. Didn’t take much force to send his drunk self down.

Jason is laid on the floor saying your name and apologizing profusely, wiping the blood from his nose. You pay him no attention, looking down at the man you’ve missed so much.

“Are you okay?” You ask, grabbing his hand to help him up.

“Jason is a dick.” He smiles, referencing the first time the two of you talked.

“That’s something we can agree on.” You laugh, making a stupid joke out of the situation as an attempt to hide what you’re both too afraid to say. You examine Eddie’s face, his forehead has a small gash while a bruise is becoming more visible. You intertwine your fingers with his, leading him to the nearest bathroom. Instructing him to sit on the toilet as you rummage through the drawers. Eventually finding a first aid kit. You get to work cleaning his wound then apply the pinkest girliest bandaid you could find. Eddie’s gaze never leaves you admiring the concentration on your face as you bandage him up. He so desperately wants to say something, literally anything. Too afraid to speak.

“All better.” You smile, admiring your work. Eddie grinning back up at you, words eager to leave his lips but unwilling to do just that. The bathroom door swings open, it’s Sarah. You two break eye contact, looking to her.

“Girl I was looking all over for you. Someone said you body slammed-“ She stop when she realizes what she’s walked in on.

“Oh shit sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“It’s okay. I’m all done.” You smile to Eddie before awkwardly saying goodbye, following Sarah out of the bathroom. Eddie sits there a few moments after you leave, cursing himself for not doing something that would warrant you staying longer.

You wanted nothing more than things to go back to normal. After that night you messaged him and tried to call him several times, no response. One day at school you had finally gained the courage to approach him only for him to ignore you. Made you realize after your many attempts at still being in Eddies life if it was going to happen it’d have to be on his terms. For a brief moment tonight things felt how they used to only for Sarah to interrupt bringing you back to reality.

“What was that?” Sarah’s asks breaking your train of thought, she’s dragging you outside where it’s much quieter.

“I don’t know.” You whisper, all the feelings you have for Eddie rushing to the top again.

“I heard Jason was beating him up so I ran to find them. Jason was on top of him and I tried to stop them but they wouldn’t listen. Jason elbowed me in the face so I said fuck it and slammed into him. Then I ended up in the bathroom with Eddie.” You explain, reaching for your chin it’s sore from the elbowing.

“I’m sorry I interrupted you guys. Maybe you two could of made up if it wasn’t for me.” She sighs, knowing how much you wanted that.

“It’s fine. I just have to accept that I fucked up and if we can ever be together, it’ll have to be one hundred percent on his terms. Can we just go?” You ask, your social battery had run out the second you left that bathroom.

“Yeah we can.” She says, understanding. As your walking through the house, Eddie walks out of the bathroom. He stops in his tracks when he sees you, you half smile before looking away following Sarah out of the party. You hop in her car, she turns the car off and starts the drive to your home.

“I still can’t believe Jason elbowed you.” Sarah huffs, when she finally makes it to you home. The party was about twenty minutes away from your home. The drive filled with silence and low music.

“I can believe it.” You laugh, even though it’s not that funny.

“Are you okay?” Sarah asks.

“Yeah it doesn’t hurt to bad. More hurt by the fact that Eddie still doesn’t seem to want anything to do with me. He actually talked to me for once even it was brief.” You admit.

“Girl maybe he’s too scared or some shit. You should just message him, worst case scenario he doesn’t respond. Then you can move on.” She says so you pull your phone out, pull up the last messages you had sent to Eddie five months ago.

“You do it or I’m gonna do it.” She teases.

“Fuck it.” You say your heart beating faster than it has ever before as you try to come up with the perfect text. Eventually you land on three words, simple and to the point.

You: I miss you

“If he doesn’t respond I will be up all night stressing about it. Thanks for that.” You whine, the stress already starting to get to you. You watch the screen praying for a response. The clock reads 1:37, it’s gonna be a long night.

—

You were correct. It was nearly three am and he had yet to respond. You can’t help but wonder wether or not he has you blocked because it doesn’t even show that he’s read it. Your father was out of town again and nothing sounded better than stealing from his liquor cabinet. Drink your sorrows away. After the last time you did that you promised it would never happen again. It hasn’t happened but tonight was tempting you. Not only have you been single for five months but sober too.

When you heard a rushed knock at the door it startled you, wondering who would be showing up your house so late. Every part of you wishing it was Eddie. Your disappointment was evident when it was Jason.

“What do you want?” You spit.

“You.” He cries, the blood has dried on his face.

“Jason you need to move on, we’re done. We are never ever getting back together.” You respond, trying your best at not laughing at your Taylor Swift reference. A song you had been blasting since the official breakup as a reminder to not forget.

“I’m sorry.” He says, reaching out to you. You push his attempt away before slamming the door shut in his face. The sound of him stomping away is loud only for footsteps to come back towards your door shortly after. There’s another knock at your door, now your mad. You open the door again, angrier this time.

“Leave me the fuck-“ You yell only stopping when you realize it’s no longer Jason at your door, it’s Eddie.

“I’m sorry I thought you were Jason.” You laugh uncomfortably, avoiding eye contact with him.

“Yeah I would of been here sooner. He’s been crying on your porch for almost an hour.” He admits letting out a small laugh.

“You’ve been sitting out here for an hour?” You ask.

“Yeah maybe longer. I don’t know. I got your text earlier and I wanted to do this in person. He really put a damper on my plan.” He explains.

“Do what-?” You ask only to be cut off by his lips being so delicately placed on yours, his hands cupping your face softly. Like your so fragile, he’s afraid to break you. His lips move with yours as you melt into the kiss. Eventually he’s the one to pull away to catch his breath. You’re speechless, can’t begin to form words to express how you feel just the cheesiest grin on your face.

“I hope that way okay. This past five months made me realize I should have done that sooner. I can’t imagine going on any longer without you by my side. For once I was the one you were drunk texting-“ This time your the one to interrupt him.

“I wasn’t drunk. I haven’t drank in months.”

“Oh even better.” He smiles causing you to smile up at him.

“Is it okay if we do that again?” You ask shyly. Eddie nods, kissing you again only this time a lite rougher. More confident in the fact that he’s not gonna break you.

This time your the one to pull away, “I’d invite you in but if I’m being honest I miss our sleep overs at yours.”

“Grab whatever you need and let’s have a sleepover.” He laughs, letting you go. You nod before leaving Eddie outside grabbing a few belongings. When you get back outside he’s waiting for you at his van, he looks so happy watching you walk towards him. You’re the one to close the space between you two, enveloping him in a hug breathing in his smell for the first time in months. You missed this, you missed him.

[vivianbernadetteaurora]

Patty Boyd

Princess princess got lost between two men look at the beauty look at the grace look at the fair nature of her. She’s one of the most stunning women I’ve ever ever seen in my life 60s ethereal hippie, she married Georgia around 19 6405 they had many a happy she got to court between two men and while she was living with George she probably married him around 1965 when the Beatles really took off they were both really young. They met on the set of a “hard days night”, semi biographical film, which if you haven’t watched direct highly recommend🎥 it starts all the Beatles, and the man who played Steptoe, as Paul McCartney’s clean grandfather?. I was obsessed as an autistic I was obsessed with this film 🍿 I watched it over and over again to the point of my siblings and their friends thought I was crazy, I was just autistic, and this is where they met, she plays one of the schoolgirl, when they get on the train. I haven’t read patties book but I know adjust of what happened in their marriage. They were married for. They were married for 11 years from 1966 to 1977, things won’t go right and George with cheating on Patty with groupies and others the worst part of it all is that he was having an affair with Maureen Starkey yeah that’s right Ringo wife Patty had to inform Ringo about so if you didn’t split them up, this was another reason to put a Riff between the Beatles, excuse the pun.

So she had to write a letter to Ringo informing him of the affair, which was one of the hardest things she had to do, the other side part she was really close to Maureen, they were like best friends.

During this time or after they met Eric Clapton, George and Patty and Eric was very interested in Patty. She turned down all his advances until she had enough and she fell for him. He played her the song Layla, which was about her during the end of her marriage, it was hard to get to him because he was chanting Harry Krishna all the time.

Happy apart from the fact that he was a heroin addict the whole time of their marriage pretty much, yet again with another man who cheated on her and used drugs so she got to the most talented men in the industry but I had to pay the price of their silliness and stupidity. These men don’t know what they have a woman like Patty Boyd should be treated with the upmost respect .

She has lived a very interesting life and has gone through very interesting experiences. I think she paints I think she writes but I’m sure she has many stories to tell to sit and listen to them.

[vaccerelli]

the suggested station for stuff “like” Everlast is bugfuck shitterton nuts. I was sitting on the porch drinking lemonade and smoking at two am thinking about how ridiculous it was I was still wearing my suit, when I was thinking it was too quiet and rainy so I put on What It’s Like, which always struck a chord of strange unidentifiable feeling with me as well as the innate wrathful melancholy of the song itself. it got me thinking about how all the things fall apart because I don’t text back or how I’ve become less and less and less extroverted and how it’s all just entered this unsatisfying loop and great another one. out of the existential frying pan into the fuckbrain fire. the more I talk to people the less I want to. I shut down pretty much all my push notifications so I’m not yelling at my phone to be quiet when someone sends me ten memes in a row. but it’s mostly alt-country or nineties songs from the same Everlast time period so you get like, southern hick shit and then Cake and Moby. it’s very unexpected. those don’t fucking sound like Everlast at all. next is Creedence, which I don’t even fucking know what. then Fleetwood Mac and Tarantula & Tito, which is even more of a don’t even fucking know what. it’s hard to identify that feeling. people just don’t do charged acoustic irish muslim rap anymore, I guess. we’re missing out. I’m missing out. it’s all some big fucking cheat or another. it’s harder to focus. it’s harder to sleep. it’s more boring to watch video games and play movies and eat sandwiches to the point I barely recognize myself. and sure, Eat At Whitey is more coastal hip-hop influenced, so once that enters the algorithm, you’re just fucked. Dogg Pound. Fun Lovin Criminals. Beastie Boys. but also Kottonmouth Kings? how fucking stoned do you think I am? I am searching for Everlast at two am, so I do appreciate you at least feeling around in the dark. that’s the best we can all do something. I keep putting on and losing a lot of weight, which is probably super healthy. I turned forty and didn’t do shit. Sweatshop Union?? okay you’re not going to impress me pulling crate like this. I know exactly how deep you go, Spotify algorithm. I can get three curated playlist deep into a cousin of a cousin of a recommendation to find the Nth continuum of some funk bit in some random song from 1971. I recognize you as a tool, partly because I’m fucking terrified of watching how much the algorithm dictates human behavior. we wrote ourselves a new civilization to staple messily over our old one. that’s cool. that isn’t unnerving as shit. leave me the fuck alone. like that Deki Alem song. man, if I heard Deki Alem on Everlast radio I would have ten different kinds of aneurysms. I barely care about suits anymore. I don’t take ten pictures of myself when I’m bored. I’m barely there. Johnny fucking Frierson? no, Everlast radio. I haven’t been being good to myself. all I had to eat today was popcorn. I watched seven Stargate episodes instead of sleeping and I don’t even like Stargate. sometimes I put on lame war is hell movies and then I do sleep. all that sorrow and blood just seems so tiring. dunno, though. What It’s Like. kinda corny, listening to it as an old man. Death Comes Callin is way more my speed. that or the old angel of death guy karaoke in Only God Forgives. that song is Leum Mai Long by Suraphol Sombatcharoen. also known as the Thai Elvis. I know so much stupid shit about stupid shit and it gets me nowhere. that’s the dice roll, right? either you’re full or you’re forward. it’s pronounced Sohm-batch-are-rohn or something, it’s easy. my favorite song of his is Suai Ching Nong — Truly Beautiful Girl — because it just sounds so full. doesn’t sound fucking shit like Everlast, though. that’s the root of the problem, really. that and the burnout.

[taiiunknown]

All I want is You !!!

RiRi X blackReader

Y’all this fic is very much based off my favorite song by Miguel-All I want is you, I very much recommend listening to it while reading 🤷🏽‍♀️

Summary: RiRi has been being a little to friendly with her partner that she have for this project in her class, Y/n becomes suspicious bc she can tell RiRi mechanic partner like her…

Warning ⚠️: Slight Angst, name calling, cursing, light smut I think 🫢

It Was another day at MIT for me , long classes, irritating white kids, I can go on and on, but I didn’t really care that much bc I do know one person who can bring a smile on my face, RIRI WILLIAMS.

Me and RiRi have been dating for 4 months now , ik it doesn’t seem like a long time but me and her connected when I seen her.

*flashback*

We met in the school cafe, she walked up to me and was casually like “We’ve been staring at each other for a while so I thought could break the ice by getting your number and buying your coffee.” Let’s just say my head shook “yes” fast asf.

*flashback over*

As soon class was over I texted her..

Me: RiRi, baby are you busy rn ?

Mi Amor🫶🏽: kinda but you can come over if you want I kinda have company tho .

Me: oh ok that’s fine, I’ll be there in 10 minutes.

*read*

Wow she never left me on read before…

*10 minutes later at RiRi off campus apartment *

I made it to RiRi apartment and made myself comfortable on her sofa when I seen a girl come out of her guess bathroom, “oh,Hi” the girl said nervously “hey.” I said tryna be nice as possible, “oh I see y’all met already” RiRi says coming from her room with some tape in her hand. “Ya, my name is y/n btw” I said smiling 🙂 “hey I’m Aiyana” she said . A hour had passed and all heard was Aiyana giggling while looking back at me while I’m on the couch , I wanted to know what was so funny. “Y/n?”Aiyana said with a smirk “yes” my eyebrows furrowed “why is your forehead kinda big ?” She says snickering “why you so concerned?” I asked with a bit of attitude bc who tf she think she talking too 🤷🏽‍♀️ “y/n!” RiRi shouts like I did something when shawty said something to me “What ?!” I responded “she was joking so stop getting mad quick THATS why I don’t be joking with you like that bc you take everything seriously.” My mouth dropped bc wtf did I even do ? “ima just leave till you calm down” I said grabbing my things and leaving her apartment. When I got back to my car I was just thinking of how stupid both RiRi and Aiyana just sounded for some reason, like wtf .

It’s been two hours since I left RiRi apartment and she haven’t texted nor called to check on my feelings, Maybe I was doing the most ? Or maybe Aiyana planned this when she found out I was coming over.either way I’m still pissed right now .

Mi Amor🫶🏽:We need to talk, Can you come over ?

Me: Last time I was over there I was getting bullied but,Whatever

Mi Amor🫶🏽:Just please come

*20 minutes later now arriving at RiRi apartment*

“So what do you want ?” I said with a raise eyebrow bc I can’t believe RiRi didn’t take my side. “I just wanted to say that I’m so sorry,Mami I never meant to flash out on you like that.I just thought Aiyana was joking and you took it seriously but when you left she literally tried to kiss me so I had to kick her out and I felt so bad because I know your beautiful brain got the thought of her tryna hit on my anyways.Im really sorry” RiRi said holding my had, “i just feel like you don’t want me, because how fast you took up for her and flashed out on me was unbelievable.”I said shedding a tear because this was me and RiRi first little argument. “No baby don’t say that, ALL I WANT IS YOU BABY!no one smiles,or smell like you, no one makes me laugh nor do they throw down in the kitchen like you, you are everything I’ve every wanted and I’m so sorry to make you feel that way and trust me this will never happen again and I’m not hanging with that delusional bitch anymore also!”Riri said reassuring me, “I love you so much…” she said lastly while wiping the little tears that is daring to come out of my eyes “I love you too” I said slightly grinning bc she is so sweet. “Let me show you how much I love you…”RiRi said leading me to her room.

It gets a lil 🥵 spicy

“Ughhh RiRi I can’t take it babyyyy” I said with my face In RiRi pillow while she is literally drilling my shit, “uh uh take that shit,Be my good girl!” RiRi said grunting silently. “I’m so close bab-yyyyyy plea-se” I was very close and we have been going for 40 minutes now and it feels like my brain is about to explode 🤯 “Hold it baby” RiRi said while speeding up faster and faster like wtf is this bitch tryna kill me 😀 “you forgive me my baby?” RiRi said while drilling me in full speed “YES!YES!YES! Baby just plz let me cum I love you so much baby just let m-” oh shit I came With out RiRi permission,I’m sorry but I couldn’t hold it any longer… Fuck Fuck Fuck what I’m do now? RiRi slows down she pulls out and turn me facing her while Im panting lightly, “Did I tell you to cum?” RiRi said while slowly removing her clothes,I’m on the bed laid out can barely even move. I see RiRi slowly getting on top of me and opening my legs so she can be on top of me, oH fuck I’m already feeling overstimulated 🤦🏾‍♀️ . I thought she was gonna start off slow but she started off fast I guess to chase her own high “FUCK BABY THIS PUSSY FEELS SO GOOD AND WET FOR ME!” RIRI MOANED AND IT WAS MUSIC TO MY EARS EVEN THOUGH ALL THE WORDS THAT IS COMING OUT OF ME IS “AH-FUCKKKKKKKK RIRIIIII UHHHUHH” I think them the only words that is functioning in my vocabulary right now “RiRi legs began to shake while mines was already shaking like a two dollar stripper. “FUCK CUM WITH ME BABYYYY!” RiRi shouted and I did what I was told 🤷🏽‍♀️. After being fucked senseless,Riri ran both of us a bath and she had to help be to the restroom bc my legs felt like jelly and I’m pretty sure I couldn’t feel my pu-, anywhoooo. After that RiRi changed the sheets while I’m still in the tub relaxing bc she told me to rest my legs and let my body soak while she put on her clothes for bed and find me clothes also. Minutes passed and we was both in bed cuddled up, “I love you so much yk?” I said slowly falling asleep “ik you was screaming it for a hour mami”she said smirking “you better be glad I’m sore bc I would’ve slapped you” I said giggling bc she was right 💀

“I love you too,Mami never for get that” RiRi said while I’m already knock tf out 😭

The End!

[s3thwrit3sstuff]

Hi Seth!! I finally found the time to write a proper message…

First off, all your recent works have been so good! Your art too, it’s all so well done. It’s been so long since I’ve seen anything sally face and it made me go watch some old playthroughs… brought me back to my childhood.

(Also, not sure how I never noticed your creepypasta work? Reignited a few of my childhood crushes.)

I don’t know why but I always get so giddy when I see song lyrics from the songs I recommended being used, I’m so glad you like them as much as I do.

I’m sorry anons are being rude in your messages, I fear they need to relearn the virtue of patience and that you don’t owe them work. I personally am willing to wait however long you need for one of your works (even if it isn’t in a fandom I’m from) because I know your works are always absolutely amazing and nothing short of a masterpiece. <3

Have you listened to Ariana’s new album and Hozier’s new EP? I loved ‘We can’t be friends’, ‘don’t wanna break up again’, ‘boy is mine’, and ‘I wish I hated you’ from Ari’s album specifically, although every song in that album was so good. ‘Too Sweet’ and ‘Fare Well’ were my favorite from Hozier’s album, the guitar in both is just so good.

My recommendation for this time (if you haven’t heard it already) is Luna Day’s ‘Obsessed’ and ‘Say it Back’. Unrequited love songs will always have a special place in my heart.

I hope you’ve been well! I missed being able to send messages but school has been kicking my ass… Rereading your works has reinspired me to finally go work on my wips tho lmao

Lots of love,

-Music anon! 🎶🎶🎶

Music nonnie! ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

I’m so sorry it's taken me a while to respond, I always worry a bit about not replying with the same energy sometimes because every time you send an ask it makes me so excited 🥹 I just wanna sit down and give proper responses!

Hehehe, I’m happy to hear the fics have made you stroll down memory lane~! I scoured around online for Sal Fisher X Male!Reader works for so long, that I decided to just make my own at that point. Truly, a queer icon Sa is 😤 I’ve only ever watched Jacksepticeyes playthrough, although! I am peeking at the dubbed playthrough that I saw floating around 👀 Thank you so much for supporting my writings and my art 🥹

(Whenever I streamed myself playing Sally Face on Discord with my IRL friends, we always made silly voices so hearing real VAs do it instead sounds both fun and humbling, lmaooo)

Also! Yes! I’m a huge Creepypasta fan 😫 I may need to touch up on their new “fan-official” lore now but TBH, I tend to just make up my own little stories for them in my head. 💀Very happy to hear that you’ve returned to the trenches that is the creepypasta fandom ☝️😋

About the anons,,,yeah :/// Unfortunately, some people think just because writers are writing fanfiction, we’re not entitled to some respect and patience. I am so thankful for your kindness and understanding, Music nonnie 🥹 You have no idea how comforting your words are to me 🤍

I only listened to “We Can’t Be Friends” but I hopped on to listen to her entire album and my heart hurt 😭 The upbeat songs were so funky though! But “I Wish I Hated You,” made me wanna sob (instantly added to the Gojo YN playlist ☝️).

Hozier always slaps with his siren songs. Seducing me with his voice and lyricism and ARCK! “Too Sweet,” makes me wanna gnaw off my own arm because of how good it is, god...

I’ve listened to the two songs and you never miss 😭 The lyrics, the instrumentals, the vocals...They both sound so full of yearning but so different! Like, they both love someone but they way its expressed makes them angsty itch in my brain go stupid and crazy 😫 You always give me such a big boost in writing with your songs recommendations, ong.

I hope you’ve been doing well, too! School sucks but I know you’ll get through it, I believe in you! >:3 I’d love to read some of your works once they’re published! We can be mooties! 🥺

All my love to you, Music Nonnie! I’m terribly sorry that I suck at replies but I adore your messages and your music so much 🥹

[just-jordie-things]

your writing is so so good do u have any tips? hope u have a great day! ^^

i’ve never been asked this before! i had to think about it!

a biggie take your time finding your style- as you can see on my masterlist i have a looot of shit on there from years of writing fanfic and experimenting. getting out of my comfort zone can be kinda hard for me personally, but with writing it was so worth it bc you can really see a metamorphosis there of when i was writing just to write and when i was writing with a drive.

don’t be afraid to ignore the rules of grammar. run on sentences are beautiful. i’ve found that especially so when the plot is driven by someone’s stream of consciousness as though they’re narrating it. thoughts are messy, they’re long and sometimes awkward and there’s no such thing as grammar in your mind !! of course spelling and punctuation are important and i’d recommend editing tho (idk her 😳) but get creative with it!!

thesaurus.com is my bestie 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 i often find myself using a lot of the same words and i don’t want to bore readers with repetitiveness! and also it’s just an easy way to expand my vocabulary too. (in person i stammer and have the reach of a fourth grader lmfao so i always want my writing to be concise and make the reader feel exactly what i want them to with my language)

also something i’ve started doing recently !! when i’m away from my wip and daydream about it, i write it down right away! in my notes app or on sticky notes or even my hand hehe. sure if it’s a significant enough plot point i’ll probably remember… but there’s no time like the present!! i want A to look at B a little differently in that one quick scene? i want to make them eat something different for foreshadowing? little details like that can be huge in your writing !! something a reader might gloss over but then realize later it was all a part of a greater scheme?? yes. so take note of those thoughts and daydreams you have !! even if you don’t end up adding it to your work, it’s better than having a profound, fic changing idea that you forget before you get the chance to write it!

this one is simple but a biggie- think about what you would want to read. i’ve been trying to keep this in mind as of late, especially when writing longer pieces where i want to make y’all suffer. find new ways to build the tension in your plot. give us different points of view, give us an untrustworthy narrator that thinks they’ve got it all figured out. throw in extra conflict. fanfiction is the melting pot of whatever the fuck you want !! so go stupid go crazy and make it something you love, and you should be good to go!! not to be cheesy but as long as you love it then you’re solid. doing something you love over and over will naturally lead you through growth and finding your style. don’t be wrapped up in notes right away (yes it can be a bit of an issue on this app- but none of has have control over how people enjoy your work- so you might as well focus on enjoying it for yourself) because as long as you’re doing something you’re passionate about and sharing it with us, more people will soon flock to enjoy it with you <3

lastly i just enjoy making mini playlists for whatever i’m currently working on. they don’t have to correlate completely with your plot. sometimes the sound of a beat is good enough for me to throw it on. if it gets me excited and planning out scenes i haven’t gotten to yet then it’s good enough for me!! i will listen to the same song on repeat in the name of ✨vibes✨ even if the words themselves have nothing to do with the plot i’m writing. that’s probably lazy basic advice but it works well for me and i love listening to music so !!

i hope this helps, and i wish you all kinds of luck as you explore this hobby for yourself !! it can be so freeing to get lost in your own work, and tbh sometimes i feel a little cringe about writing fanfiction but… i just adore it. it’s my favorite thing to do and when i think like that i stomp it down bc i’m proud of my work! i’m proud of how far i’ve come and i’m eager to see what i can push myself towards next!!!

happy writing, happy reading, and if you ever need more help i’m happy to do the best i can for ya! this goes for anyone, please always feel free to reach out even if you just want to talk brainrot. making friends thru this hobby is amazing bc like-interests are 💞🩷

xoxo ~ jordie

[kiss-my-battery-505]

I’m bored so here’s a list of my reviews of all the movies I’ve seen from the silver scream albums

Don’t feel pressured to read lmao I’m just infodumping for fun also sorry for bad formatting this was written in my notes app lol

Friday the 13th/Thank god it’s Friday- The song absolutely FUCKS its so good I VERY recommend it, it mainly references the beginning part of the movie but it sounds like a basic campfire story but with metal music it’s awesome <3 The *movie* wasn’t bad, the first one wasn’t as great as I was expecting but it was super fun and I def am gonna watch the sequels

Rainy day/Resident evil- LOVE THESE the song is 100% less metal and more like alternative?? Pop rock?? but it’s still amazing the music video also slaps, but the MOVIES!!!! I just watched the second one (it’s been a while since I watched the first lmao) but the second one is a total cheesy action/zombie movie and is one of the only zombie movies I’ve ever enjoyed like GENUINELY and the GAMESS I’ve only played the first one (I haven’t finished yet </3) and watched some clips from the later ones but they freaky /pos HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend the song/franchise

Scream/Your number’s up- The song wasnt my favorite (it just sounded a little too much like a musical but it wasn’t bad) but it wasn’t bad but the MOVIE <333 I already watched scream like a while ago and it’s one of my favorite like kind of mystery/slasher movies? Also one of my favorite final girls in a movie like she def earned it, I wish I could watch this movie again for the first time it rocks

IT/IT is the end-Another movie I have SO many thoughts on: the older one was my favorite <33 it had practical effects it felt like the main characters actually cared about each other, LOVED the old one BUT the new ones were not as good imo like it was *all* CGI that got kind of boring after a while the characters like seemed to care about each other less and it was all super forced, there were like wayyyy too many side plots that meant nothing??? AND THE ENDING like- spoilers if u haven’t watched it- but the way they figured out how to defeat the clown WAS SO FUCKING STUPID like all of those confusing side plots and they just had to use the power of bullying????? Like they just gathered around it just going oH stupid little babey man look at this stupid fuckign idiot AND IT WORKED?!?!!! Like they fought a spider creechur in the original like I was so mad at the new ending loll anyway, it’s been like a couple months since I watched it but I could totally go into even more detail jsbsj

Nightmare on elm street/American nightmare- Again the song is great✨super theatrical, I just watched the movie for the first time it’s amazing <333 total cheesy 80s movie, the fashion was great✨the characters weren’t like annoying I liek :)

Hip to be scared/American psycho- This was the first Ice Nine Kills song I’ve ever listened to and it’s STILL my favorite it’s soso theatrical and fun and there are so many movie references in the song it’s crazyy and the live performance clips look so fun jsbsj

I just recently watched the movie bc of the song and like I don’t know if I would have enjoyed the movie as much if I hadn’t listened to the song first loll like the first half of the movie i took WAY less seriously than I should’ve cause like they’d reference something and and my dumbass brain would only think of the song but towards the end I realized it was all a metaphor for something bigger and I’ve never researched a movie that much like ever <3 I could write a whole other essay on the like corporate greed and toxic masculinity themes but this is already super long so <3333

Evil dead/Ex Mortis- the song and movies are on the EXACT same wavelength /pos very camp very cheesy it’s perfect <33 it’s been forever since I’ve watched Army of Darkness but I remember it was super fun like a very good bad movie you can just turn your brain off and watch without analyzing too hard

Candyman/Farewell II Flesh-So I’ve only seen the new remake of this movie but it was done SUPER well like the shadow puppet scenes were really cool and different and the plot was rly good :))) very spooky I loved it (my sister did not lmaoo)

Pet semetary/Funeral derangements- (I’ve only watched the original one) ok so like this movie has a very gloomy type vibe (obviously) and was like pretty unsettling (minus the parts me and my friends made fun of a little lol) but like that’s the point and it was well made, also the *song* funeral derangements fucks *so* hard like the chorus is so amazinggg waughh <3333333 very swag

Also lastly honorable mention that has not been put on a silver scream album (yet 👀) but is still SUCH a good horror movie: Cabin in the woods is so amazing and I cant even summarize the plot without like spoiling it like trust it’s such a good movie it like changes the way u see other popular horror movies it’s so cool I promise

Ok this was really long and I don’t write essays often so I wanted to keep it short (I didn’t 😔) but yeah anyway~this is just some of my own opinions don’t take it too seriously lmao I didn’t 🥰🥰

[hime-memes]

                • Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared • ( Episode 1 - 3. )

Pretty sure my friend’s discord icon is Red Guy and I just noticed today -- so, after remembering the DHMIS era of internet usage ... I decided to watch them all again ! 

                                            - Potential for future parts, maybe ? -      There’s quite a few more of these I may make starters for in the future if these go well.  ( * I hope some of these starters pique your interest and you look into this series if you haven’t already ! Be warned, it can be intense and kind of scary at times, a bit like Salad Fingers but more visceral, but also with more finesse ?! If you can stomach it, you should totally go give it a watch ! * )   As always: These have been modified for cohesive and sensical use for the general RPC. Feel free to change anything within these that you see fit to make it work for the receiver’s muse !   Recommended For: Any Muses/Plots/Timelines.

Trigger Warnings For: Mental Illness Mention, Death Themes, Some Horror Themes & Elements.

‘ Creativity ‘  “ What's your favorite idea ? Mine is being creative ! “  “ How do you get the idea ? “  “ I just try to think creatively ! “  “ Now: when you look at this orange, tell me please, what do you see ? “  “ It's just a boring old orange ! “  “ Maybe to you, but not to me ! “  “ I see a silly face, walking around and smiling at me. “  “ I don't see what you mean ... “  “ 'Cause you're not thinking creatively ! “  “ So, take a look at my hair. “  “ I use my hair to express myself ! “  “ That sounds really boring. “  " When you stare at the clouds in the sky; Don't you find it exciting ? “ “ Come on, take another look ... “  “ I can see a man with a baseball bat. “  “ Think you're getting the hang of it now ! “  “ Using your minds to have a good time ? “ “ I might paint a picture of a clown. “  “ Whoa there, friend, you might need to slow down ! “  “ Here's another good tip ! “  " Go and collect some leaves and sticks. “  “ Green is not a creative color ... “  “ There's one more thing that you need to know before you let your creativity flow: ... “  “ Listen to your heart. “ “ Listen to the rain ! “  “ Listen to the voices in your brain. “  “ Come on guys, let's get creative ! “  “ Now, let's all agree to never be creative again. “  ‘ Time ‘ “ C'mon, guys, stop mucking around ! “  “ We only have five minutes until our show is on ... “  “ That's not enough time ! “  “ There is always time for a song. “  “ What ? Who is that ?! “  “ Time is a tool you can put on the wall or wear it on your wrist. “  “ The past is far behind us ! “  “ The future doesn't exist ! “  “ What's the time ? It's quarter to nine ... “  “ Time to have a bath. “  “ What do you mean? We're already clean ?! “  “ Scrub, scrub, scrub 'til the water's brown ! “  “ Time is a ruler to measure the day. “  “ It doesn't go backwards; only one way. “  “ Watch it go round like a merry-go-round; going so fast like a merry-go-round. “  “ Let's go on a journey -- A journey through all time ! “  “ A time that's changing all the time ? “ “ It's time to go to time. “  “ ... But we don't really want to. “ “ We're going to miss our show. “ “ Don't be stupid, friends ! “ “ C'mon, it's time to go. “  “ Time is old ... like the Victorian times ! ”  “ -- With cobbles, and plague, and speaking in rhyme ! “  “ -- With cobbles, and chimneys, it was a simpler time ! “  “ -- With cobbles, and sawdust, and batteries, and slime ... “ “ This tree that is old has circles inside. “ " The tree that is older has shriveled and died ! “  “ The apple that's fresh is ripe to the core. “  “ I rot over time & I'm not anymore ! “  “ Time can be told by the moon or the sun. “  “ ... But time flies fast when you're having fun ! “  “ There's a time and a place for mucking around. “  “ So, like: birthday & camping ? “ " I'm friends with my dad. “   “ Then what happened after the olden days ? “  “ Time went new & got old like history !  “ Stuff from the past that went into a mystery. “  “ An old man died -- but look, a computer ! “  “ Everything's cool, it's the future ! “  “ Time is now, the future anew ... “  “ Look at all the wonderful things you can do with gadgets and gizmos and email addresses ... ! “  “ My dad is c-a com-computer ... “ “ Look at the time ! “ “ It's quarter to eight, there's fish on my plate. “  “ It's twenty past day, there's fish on my tray. “  “ It's eleven to twelve, there's fish in the bath ! “  “ It's nine thirty, there's fish everywhere ... ! “  “ Now you can see the importance of time. “  “ It helps us make pizza ! “  “ It keeps things in line. “  “ -- But when did it start ? “  “ -- And when will it stop ? “  “ If we run out of time, then where does it go ? “  “ Is time even real ?! Does anyone know ? “  “ Maybe time's just a construct of human perception ? “  “ An illusion created by -- “  “ Sunrise, sunset, night and day. “  “ The changing seasons ... the smell of hay. “  “ Look at your hair grow, isn't it strange how time makes your appearance change ? “  “ Make it stop ! “ “ It's out of my hands. “ “ Don't worry, I'm sure you'll be fine ! “  " ... Eventually, everyone runs out of time ... “ ‘ Love ‘ “ Isn't it nice to finally be outside on such a beautiful day ? “ “ Yes ! ... And I've packed us a delicious chicken picnic ! “ “ Huh ? “ “ Pesky bee ! “ “ Hmmmm, he seems upset about something ... I wonder what happened ? “ “ It makes you sad, doesn't it ? “ “ There's so much hatred in the world ! “ “ I hope you don't mind if I ask you a question ... “ “ A little baby pigeon ! “  “ Have you ever wondered why we're here ? ” “ What's it all about ? -- You've no idea ! “ “ Everywhere you look, all you see is hatred, and darkness, death, and fear. “ “ -- But you know it doesn't have to be. “ “ I hate you, and you hate me ! “ “ Cause even though we're different, it doesn't make a difference. “  " We can live in harmony ! “ “ No, you don't know who I am, but maybe I could hold your hand ? ” “ Together we can understand about love ! “ “ Huh, I feel tingly ... ! “  “ Yes, that's love, my friend, and it's time for you to learn all about it ! “ “ Love is a place, love is a thing. “ “ Do you ever feel like life's unfair ‘cause everybody hates you, and no one cares ?! “ “ If you follow me, maybe you'll see: that love is everywhere ! “ “ What is love, is it in the sky ? “ “ No, it's a feeling, deep inside ! “ “ ... Because I'm hungry ? “ “ No, you're lonely ! I can see it in your eyes ! “ “ I don't understand. “ “ Don't worry ! “  “ Come and meet some of my friends; they know all about love ... “ “ Come on, just over the rainbow ! " “ Oh look, there he goes, flying through the sky. “ “ Maybe, we should follow him, or we'll get left behind ? “  “ Yes, but there's lots of chicken left and I'd like to eat the chicken ! “ “ I'd also like to eat the chicken; let's do that instead ! “ “ So, here we are with all my friends and they love you, all of them ! “ “ We love you; and you love us too ! “ “ I love you too, furry boy. “ “ Now we've eaten the chicken, I don't know what to do. “  “ Maybe we should look for our friend; Isn't that what friends do ? “ “ To love each other is to care, to be kind, and to share. “ “ I love my friend so I give him a hug ! “ “ I made this for you, cause I love you so much ! “  “ No no no, that's not how it's done ! “ “ You must save your love for your special one. “ “ You're confused, but that's okay ! Let me put it another way ... “ “ This is the story of Michael ... the loneliest boy in town. “ “ The ugliest boy in town, ugly and weak -- they called him a freak. “ “ We must feed him gravel or he’ll become angry ! “  “ And this is your chance to start anew ! “ “ All we're asking you to do is change your name, clean your brain, and forget anything about you that you ever knew. “ “ Your heart will find its home. “ " Our love will never go ! “ “ Now wear this ring, and you will never be alone. “ “ Oh, there you are - we've been looking for you all afternoon ! “ “ We're sorry we upset you ! “  “ -- But look, we've bought you the last boiled egg to cheer you up ... “ “ I guess it must be because we LOVE you. “

[westofessos]

I don’t know if any other women are experiencing this, but lately what with The Little Mermaid and Barbie coming out, I’ve really been on a journey of accepting and loving my womanhood, and accepting and loving all of the things I was convinced were juvenile, silly, or unimportant as I grew up, and therefore abandoned or ridiculed.

Examples:

Disney movies - I’ve been going through and watching all the Disney movies (specifically the princess ones) and remembering how much I used to love them (and how much I still love them!). I bought myself a bracelet with four of the princesses on it the other day, and I’ve never been happier.

Barbie - obviously. It was one of my most anticipated movies of the year, and because of it I pulled out my old DVDs of the animated Barbie movies from when I was a kid.

Pink - I’m someone that has always just liked darker clothes, but pink is a colour that I think I subconsciously drifted away from because of the societal stigma. But, for the Barbie movie, I wore all pink. Pink shorts, a pink crop top (it was also the first time I’d ever worn a crop top as a girl that has been fat all her life and I felt so fucking cute), gigantic hot pink hoop earrings, pink lipstick, and a pink necklace that looks like the ones from Barbie and the Diamond Castle.

Taylor Swift - I’ve had a pretty intense disdain for Taylor Swift my whole life (partially because the only songs I heard were the singles played on the radio, which I still don’t care for, but also because society makes you feel stupid for enjoying anything that is liked predominantly by women). But lately, she’s almost all I’ve been listening to. I started with Folklore and Evermore, which are right in my wheelhouse anyway, as someone who has never really been into pop or country, but then Midnights came out and I loved that, too. After Speak Now (TV) came out, I listened to and loved that, then went and listened to Fearless (TV) and absolutely adored it, as well as Red (TV). I haven’t tackled the others yet (I tried a couple from Reputation, and I think that one might not be for me) but I fully intend to.

I’m thinking of watching Legally Blonde next, because that’s a big one for me personally. If anyone has any recommendations I’d love to hear them! Also if you’ve experienced this as well, please share! I’m finding it very interesting.

[fredbydawn]

I was tagged by @exorcistas to answer these questions and then I’m supposed to tag 9 people I wanna get to know better aaaahhhh

last song I listened to: 💿 Lily by Kate Bush, fun fact: due to how weird and cool this song is and due to my weird relationship to angels, this song did in fact have me making posts when I first heard it that made people send me “hey man, are you doing ok?” messages lol

three ships: 🤍 uuuhhhh Father Mulcahy/Hawkeye from M*A*S*H (and highkey most of the M*A*S*H characters/Hawkeye, what can I say, he’s the army’s biggest slut), Joel/Griffin (or Jerome as Jay calls him) from The Watcher cuz I love that terrible stupid movie, and I’m only halfway thru season one so you can call me a fake fan if you want but Quark/Odo from Deep Space 9 cuz I love a pair of weird dudes who have things wrong with them :)

currently reading: 📖 I’m currently reading third issue of the Hellebore zine, The Malefice Issue, its a cool zine about folk horror and the the occult in British history and media. the issues have a lot of interesting essays and really cool artwork. I also have other books that I started a while ago but haven’t finished yet cuz I’m such a slow reader like Unweildy Creatures, which is a genderqueer retelling of Frankenstein that was recommended to me by my mom, and Nun Massacre which is just a splatterpunk book

last movie I watched: 🎬 the last movie I watched that was new to me was Blood Harvest, which is a kind of generic 80′s slasher that is really only notable because Tiny Tim plays a singing clown in it. the most recent movie I watched in general was The Hitcher cuz I’m gonna make a lil homoerotic horror video edit thing hehehe

craving: 🧃 crab rangoon my eternal beloved

I never know who to tag in these things uhhh @filmstar1997 @ohwhoadude @leoblooms @tacogrande @beforewhatgod @heycrabman @m3atbuff3t and idk if you wanna do it you can say I tagged you  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[babypinkhearts]

mixed emotions at my thoughtlessness.

pairing: fushiguro megumi + fem!reader

summary: you love him. so you let him torture you further.

warnings: angst! megumi is complicated (what’s new), but comfort!!! the sweetest of sweet things. mentions of being emotionally unavailable.

a/n: inspired by the song “woman” by john lennon. one of my favorites, i definitely recommend you go listen :) i have been writing my heart out these past few weeks, i feel like it’s my biggest hyperfixation at the moment. thank you for all the love recently <3 i am so happy.

two knocks will do it.

or a third. megumi’s hand stills.

his eyes scan the scenery. the outdoor mat he recognizes too well on the floor, decorated with images of small woodland creatures. the hummingbirds gather around the greeting words in minimalistic font.

he finds it less welcoming than anything, his teeth chewing the inside of his cheek.

this was a stupid idea.

the sound of rustling comes from the other side of the door, and his careful eyes observe. he hears a click. the door opens, barely, and he’s able to briefly see your wide eyes.

megumi sticks his foot in the gap before you have a chance to slam it shut.

“what the fuck.” you deadpan, eyes now locked on the floor where megumi was now trespassing. the audacity. “dude, take a hint.”

fifty missed calls, all intentional. messages that haven’t even been opened clog your phone, and you had planned to keep it that way for much longer. yet megumi only straightens a little more, and stares.

“let me in.” he responds, gaze unrelenting. and sure, this wasn’t the reaction he wanted, but you seemed less upset than he imagined you’d be. “please.”

megumi kept that same stoic look on his face, despite his stomach feeling like it was being twisted in two — all anxious and troubling. his pride hurt. he wondered if he would have to start begging on his knees for your forgiveness, or maybe kiss your hands and write the most obnoxiously long love letter ever created. admittedly, for you, he’d let himself with no hesitation. how weak he had become.

narrowing your eyes at him, you give a few futile attempts to close the door, growing increasingly frustrated as he continues standing, relentless. he simply refused to budge.

megumi watches as your eyes instinctively shut tightly in annoyance, and he tests his luck, leaning just the tiniest further in.

“megumi—“ you sigh, running a hand down your face, exasperated. and there’s some hope megumi hears in your voice. you shut him down immediately, though, and shake your head without a second thought. “no. leave me alone.”

a part of you wants to add in — ‘like you have been’ — but you swallow the bitter sentence.

don’t fall in love with boys who don’t know how to love.

or, more importantly, don’t fall in love with boys who can’t love back.

it’s a treacherous battle, you’ve learned. megumi has always been abrasive, and those moments where empathy shines through have (without failure) been blocked by gloomy clouds before it’s able to reach you. he’s pretty in theory, but uncovering him has it’s ugly bits. he’s aware.

for a serene, peaceful moment, you think that megumi listens to you. he slowly turns to his side, and you expect him to walk down the patio steps and go back home.

but he stands there for a little too long, his foot still nudged in the crack stupidly made by your naivety. every rational (and ethical) thought seems to leave his mind as he finds himself forcing your door wide open.

“oh my god—” you exclaim, hands thrown in the air, mouth open in disbelief. you’ve backed up from the door, brows furrowed. “megumi, seriously, what the fuck!?”

dumbfounded, you watch as he simply lets himself inside, leaning back against the door to shut it. the ‘click!’ is audible with the deathly silence.

“it was cold.” is all he says, before swallowing thickly. “and i need you to stop ignoring me.”

yeah, he wished he had a better approach.

megumi was normally calculated and a lot more thoughtful. he’d weigh in pros and cons, analyzing everything to it’s minute detail. you were probably the only factor that could lead him into spontaneity.

you laugh a little. it’s a sound that comes out bitter, and lacks any real amusement. bewilderment, really. you can feel some ice crack, and megumi stills.

“what the fuck.” you repeat, quietly now. and it’s clear that you’re seething — all the animosity is clear on your face. this wasn’t like megumi at all. he was always patient, and he usually understood boundaries. enforced them, even.

you momentarily glance at him. he’s pleading with his eyes.

“please.”

megumi’s cheeks are flushed, he can feel it. the color comes from the freezing weather outside, and the sudden embarrassment that clouds his head. the realization of his actions, how he forced his way in. his eyes grow wide, alarmed and seemingly more sensible. he hastily turns to you, saying, “i’ll go back outside, i’m sorry, i just really need to —“

“you’re already inside.”

your hostility had yet to dissipate, and if you could think clearly enough, you’d be able to feel the burning sensation of your nails digging into your palms. this felt like a bad dream. but the desperation in his voice is almost unbearable to listen to, and there is the glimmer of the north star guiding you, naturally searching the idiot in front of you. like it always does. “whatever you say better be worth it.”

it’s mature, your resolve. let him talk, and then he can leave peacefully.

but, what did he want? closure? because you never got that. and you weren’t sure if you wanted it. it’s why your phone idly sits on your bedside table, constantly on do not disturb. for the mere purpose of avoiding him. and everything, really.

you come to a cruel realization that megumi would probably be the only person benefiting this sudden appearance. he could leave, and you’d still be left quite broken. mangled, at this point. no room for repair.

but you love him. so you let him torture you further.

megumi nods feverishly at your response, visibly relieved. “okay, okay, just give me a second.”

he looks small against the door. cowering into himself, fidgeting.

you raise a brow, tilting your head. “for what?”

yes, megumi had come all this way to see you without a single plan in mind.

spontaneity.

“i’m nervous.” megumi quickly replies, and while it isn’t a lie in the slightest, it isn’t the answer to your question. he doesn’t know how to say what he wants to tell you. he’s bad with words, bad with communicating, bad with you.

your hand impatiently beckons him, urging to spill whatever he seems so bothered by. “it’s okay. just get it over with.”

you make it sound too easy. it’s not that easy.

megumi’s hesitance is almost awkward, and you find an excuse to look around at everything in the room but him. your head hurt. every part of you was overwhelmed, the presence of your ex-boyfriend too unbearable to keep an unbothered act.

he looks the same, maybe a little more restless. you hope he had been sleeping well. two months without him, and yet you can’t seem to notice too much of a difference. the familiarity is comforting, in some weird, twisted way.

but, why come now? all the texts, the phone calls — all in one singular day.

bad things only start appearing once the past issues are nearly faded. salt rubbed into a healing wound.

you try to be optimistic and convince yourself that he doesn’t know how much he’s hurting you by being near you, but you know megumi. it’s not unlike him to be selfish. he’d already shown you that.

“megumi, it’s late. just—“

“i want you.”

and heat rises to your face, warm enough to mistake as a fever. every word is caught on your tongue, and it feels like the world caves in for a moment.

now, the anger returns. stronger than ever.

you hold so much resentment. it’s unhealthy for a person to feel what you have within the past two months. bitter, betrayed, and yet helplessly enamored. but now, you’re frustratingly confused. it makes you want to rip your hair out. why couldn’t this be normal? it’s barbaric, the way that agony doesn’t have a limit. you suppose you’ll stay with the ache forever.

“you-“ and your breath is shaking, eyes a little blurry in fury. you want the ground below you to split in half and swallow you whole. for the world to naturally end, mimicking the feeling in you that it already has. “fuck you, megumi.”

you’re scolding yourself, mentally screaming, because your chest stings as you watch him silently bow his head.

he’s not allowed to feel shitty. he ended things, and now he has the audacity to act hurt. as if two whole months haven’t passed by, and he isn’t here to remind you (cruelly, in person) how much heartbreak you’ve had to endure.

“why are you here?” your voice sounds so little, all bite manifested into exhaustion. because it’s taking everything in you to stand up straight. to not have your legs give out, and let him have you again. “why are you doing this?”

you’re blunt because you can’t drag it out for much longer. maybe you did need closure. you would like to think you deserved it.

megumi stiffens, and his hands instinctively find themselves in his pockets. it’s a habit you are well aware of, a part of you expecting waiting for it to happen. you know him like a book.

“…because i love you.”

he says it simply, as if it’s the answer to everything. the casualty of it makes you want to cry.

but you can’t remember him ever saying that before. and maybe that’s why your skin is suddenly wet, glistening with reminders of just how strongly you felt for this boy.

he awaits an answer, quietly. staring like he’s afraid he’s made the worst decision possible. it’s genuine, every word is more meaningful than you know, and he prays you know it.

but your head bows low, and you think he might be some form of evil.

“you’re being mean, megumi.”

and megumi knows he is. but the desire of you is too strong for him to handle. truthfully, he’s never doubted the intensity of what he feels for you. megumi is complicated, though.

“i’m sorry, i’m sorry.” he mumbles, and it takes him all the willpower in the world to blink away his own emotions. because he’s not the one that should be hurting. “i’m sorry for all of it.”

after you’re accustomed, it’s hard to get rid of something. megumi doesn’t think he could live without you. it was a mistake to believe he could. endless weeks of just staring at remainders of you everywhere. walking by the aquarium where you had your first date, eyes never missing the shampoo you used to buy at the store. he still has a few shirts with the faint fragrance of your perfume. he can’t bring himself to wash them.

“i miss you.” his voice is strained, and he hopes again that you believe him. “you deserve everything, and i want to give you that.”

your arms are hugging your sides, and you’re painstakingly aware of the slow steps megumi has began to take towards you. they’re wary, but you know you don’t have the strength to step back.

“i love you.” he repeats, and you close your eyes tightly.

again, megumi is normally calculated. and thoughtful. his rashness settles, and he watches you carefully. you don’t stop him. a hand raises, and he wipes your tear-stained cheek, all warm with frustration and emotion. the touch is soft, and you really can’t remember him ever being this careful. his guard is down, his eyes are watering, and you can feel his hand shaking. vulnerability in megumi, as rare as it comes.

he always had trouble expressing his thoughts with you. you can’t blame him, because you know his past hasn’t been ideal. you always hated seeing him suffer in silence. nonetheless, you were patient. so sickeningly patient it made megumi’s stomach do flips.

it’s his biggest regret, telling you to leave him. all you ever tried to do was help.

“i thought,” he brings his head towards you, gently resting his forehead on yours. his hair tickles your face. you shiver. “i thought it’d be smart to end us. i never want to see you sad.”

megumi knows it was a double-edged sword. he ended up hurting you anyway, and himself in the process. too weak to overcome the natural human emotion that is love.

“i’m stupid, aren’t i?” and he chuckles, a regretful smile on his face. a few tears fall. “i’m so, so stupid.” he takes in a sharp breath.

he knew your breakup was a mistake the second he had watched your face fall. he was certain when you had walked out the door. you tend to realize just how great you had it after it’s already gone.

and you’re very forgiving. too good to him, megumi thinks, because he feels you nod against him.

“so stupid.” you affirm.

communication is something you can never hold against megumi. he struggles with it, and it’s why you’re so lenient. this, to see you, pour his heart out, and tell you he loves you, is him trying. him trying so incredibly hard.

you feel his body start to shake, and you wordlessly go back to your natural instinct, brushing his hair aside to place a tender kiss on his forehead.

“i love you, megumi.”

it’s an easy admission. you’ve expressed it dozens of times, and finally, those words can be heard back. this time, it’s muffled through your hair as he buries himself into your very being. the saying is repeated endlessly, and his grip tightens.

i love you.

it’s stability, and it’s delightful.

[grimsneverendingfuneral]

Aw, Grim, you’re so sweet! But you don’t needa worry about me, I promise! I’m trying to stay positive, catching up on books or shows I can’t get to because I’m usually very busy. It’s silly, I know, but at least it’s better than bein all depressed. I play football and my coach told me I can’t play until it’s healed which really bummed me, especially since we have a game on Thursday. But I’m looking at the positives! So if you have any shows you recommend… 🤲

Okay the how is kind of stupid, but I’ll tell you anyway. I broke my arm playing football, fell right on the goal post and put my arm out to break the fall… yeah. And my wrist, well. I’m very short, like 150cm short, and I weigh nothing, so I climb. Not rock climbing, I mean climbing up my furniture; in this case, the huge bookcase I have, so I can reach the top books. I feel like you can kind of see where this is going. So I climbed it as usual, to get to the book I need, since I stupidly keep all my important books and school stuff at the tippy top. And I tried grabbing the book I needed with my now good arm, the one that I’d just gotten the cast off of, but it fell. It’s a heavy book so I didn’t want it to make a noise and disturb my neighbours so I kind of tried chasing it down with my arm?

It didn’t work and I ended up falling haha. I tried stopping it by landing with my hands out to break the fall but I didn’t want to risk my arm to breaking after it just healed, so I only used one hand. I don’t know how to explain it well, but my hand sort of landed between the floor and the book that fell. Surprisingly, it doesn’t even end there! I also slammed the big ass metal front door of my flat on my hand. Broke my wrist in four places lol.

I haven’t had a chance to listen to your song yet, but I will today! Pinky promise :)

Anyways! Question time, Grim… What’s a hobby you had as a kid? Do you like painting your nails? What’s your preferred method of transportation (e.g.: bus, train, car)? What’s something that made your week/day better? 🎤

ooohhhh you play football??? oh fuck yeah. youre so cool for that. but one thing though...... is it football like british football aka soccer or american football lmfao

i cant believe this story though wowwwwwoooww..... i truly understand your thought process. we do weird stuff like that when we're alone, us humans. you try to save your ass by making a move that ultimately has another part of your body suffering. i get it. i do it all the time. as someone who lives alone, i always have to be extra careful as to how i do things cause if i fuck up, no ones gonna save me lol. glad youre taking this time to just consume sick ass media. nothing better

OK SHOWS I RECOMMEND FUCK there are a lot. take your pick: Shameless (US version fo sho), My Mad Fat Diary, Friday Night Lights (football show that changed my brain chemistry), The Sopranos, Fellow Travelers (gay), It's A Sin (gay), Pose (one of the best shows ive ever watched), Freaks And Geeks (1 season only show), It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia (if you just wanna shut your brain off) and uuhhh any cartoon like Bojack Horseman, Simpsons, Rick And Morty is also sick (to me) you can just shut your brain off while watching it. all these shows are mad entertaining

A hobby i had as a kid......damn i had a lot. I would draw compulsively honestly, like anywhere i could. Any piece of paper. I would also play imaginary games with complex scenarios all the time and act out the entire Peter Pan live action movie from 2003 with my friend. i would collect keychains and had this bouncy ball i was obsessed with that i would just bounce off the walls. i went to circus school too so i did a lot of shit on the jungle gym at the park like every day. always tryna impress the other kids lol. nothings changed

i also do paint my nails! always with some sparkly polish though. i dont like to wear dark color polish or anything too matte so its always a combo of different glittersss

my preferred method of transportation is my bike!! but its winter 6 months outta the year here so when i cant take it i like walking the most or the bus. the subway here makes me feel claustrophobic fr. my parents are giving me their car though in the summer so im about to be a gay man that drives aaayyyyyyy

something that made my week better........hm probably dancing with my friends. it was disco night and i had my flask in my pocket so i got to drink for freeeeee. also writing the first two chapters of my rosekiller fic AAANNND getting an ask from you!!!!

okok i feel like i KNOW the game is YOU ask ME questions, but here lemme return the sentiment: what is a dream youve had that you'll always remember?