#if you have 20 smth minutes to spare

[t0kyo-l1ghts]

it just dawned on me that never once did I share anything regarding my Limbus OCs, cause I wanted to have everything ready - including their art - by the time I posted them, but I'm kind of impatient, so I'll just talk about one of them: Victor Frankenstein. I have a couple good drawings of him so I might attach those in a follow up cause I have most of them on my phone. ANYWAYS, let's get this bread

Victor Frankenstein

Peculiars: Solitary, Paranoid

Weapon: Galvanism (Modified Stun Baton Staff)

Associated Colour: #6B8778 "Rot Green"

Affiliation: Limbus Company

Occupation: LCB Sinner

Literary Source: Frankenstein by Mary Shelley

Associated Sins: Pride, Wrath, Gloom

Base EGO: Never-Ending Hubris

He joins LCB after the creation of the monster, who, in true project moon fashion, is a little bit more fucked up than the source material, as instead of just standing there Menacingly he actually attacks Victor on sight, breaking his jaw really badly. He gets an operation where he's given a prosthetic and is picked up by Vergilius shortly after.

His base EGO art, Never-Ending Hubris, depicts him in his collage dorm wearing the LCB Sinner pyjamas/prison outfits stitching the monster together- who is obscured by a white sheet. There's a couple of mementos like the medal with his mother's picture in it, a family photo, and a seperate picture of Elizabeth etc. The EGO itself would involve him having those electroshock thingies yk the ones doctor's use to revive a patient and him freaking tf out thinking the monster is still out there

The abnormalities I would kin assign to him are Shock Centipede (AEDD), Wayward Passenger (Dimension Shredder), Alleyway Watchdog (Telepole) and perhaps Pink Shoes (Roseate Desire).

His canto I imagine would take place after William and Justine's death, where Victor has a mental breakdown cause he knows he could have done something about Justine's verdict, but probably wouldn't have actually said anything to protect his own pride - much like in the novel. The Sinners try to find the culprit and eventually encounter the monster, who named himself Adam, and this is where we get a mashup of both Victor and Adam's backstory, where we're show the events as they happen simultaneously, though I've yet to think of an ending for it. Maybe they manage to "defeat" Adam, giving Victor the semblance of closure for delivering justice for both his little brother and adopted sister, and sarajinae plays. Idrk tbh, probably.

So far this is all I have for my funny guy, glad I finally got this out of my system tbh, have a nice rest of your day

[kiki-strike]

10 characters 10 fandoms 10 (ish) tags!

thanks @transboyzuko and @fanfic-gremlin-ft-trauma for tagging me ^-^

1. Azula ATLA - she’s a tragic villain she’s a narrative foil she’s a style icon she’s a mean lesbian what more could you want (a redemption arc lol)

2. Geralt The Witcher - AUTISTIC KING i too mostly just talk to animals and myself. i picked up his “hmm” and it got me in trouble for a while until my mom watched it and realized i was just unconsciously copying him.

3. Jinora LOK - i haven’t seen all of LOK so im hoping she doesn’t turn evil or smth but. hooray for little girls who see Creatures by themselves in the woods and are probably hyperlexic and are smarter and know more than all the adults around them !!!!!

4. Sam Winchester Supernatural - he got out of his toxic family situation and then he Went Back. watched his brother die 111 times in one episode. got addicted to demon blood to save the world. literally born to be possessed by the devil. chronic third wheel

5. Charlie IASIP - nuff said

6. Eddie Brock Venom - hated big pharma so hard it made him a divorcee. really hot ex who i’m in love with and so is he. cool murderous parasite best friend. lobster tank enjoyer.

7. Beth Good Girls - i regularly dream about her despite not having seen the show in years. that’s my wife. badass perfect housewife who robs grocery stores and launders money in her spare time.

8. Bean Disenchantment - hooray for teenage alcoholics. has a personal demon meant to make her life hell and the demon ends up making it better because she’s just that miserable. “this is the bathtub, where Bean makes her bathtub gin. and this is the shower, where Bean makes her shower gin.” killed two fiancées in the first 20 minutes of the show. canon wlw.

9. Scarlet Witch Marvel - THEY HATE TO SEE A GIRLBOSS WINNINGGGGGGG

10. Bender Futurama - his name is a pun. his face looks like 😬. occasionally behaves like a toddler/dog. unyielding devotion to homoerotic friendship. lives in a closet. was god once. alloaro.

i’ll tag: @ozais-lobotomist @waterfire1848 @tommyssupercoolblog @juniperhillpatient @kyoshigirl @autistic-katara @sukidude @averageinsomniac

[wantaichi]

haikyuu + skincare hcs

ever think abt how they treat their skin? probably not. but like. do they wash their face like a normal person? have a 32 step skincare routine maybe??

msg me for any character who’s not here and i’ll drop their routine for u

masterlist.

karasuno

sugawara. lives up to his title as mr. refreshing. cleanses, tones, and moisturizes. !chefs kiss! keeps a jar of aloe vera face gel in his fridge, his mom had a spare. carries around a 100-sheet pack of oil film, more out of habit than of need. good skincare just makes him feel in control of his life, ok

ennoshita. fuckin’ spotless. part of the 0.0001% who don’t sweat easily. doesn’t have a complete regimen but never skips out on cleansing and toning before bed. actually reads the product ingredients and googles the benefits before buying. neutrogena type of guy. 

asahi. facial scrubs are his holy grail. like. dead skin? stubborn hair follicles? haha not on his watch ヾ( ･`⌓´･)ﾉﾞ trims his goatee every 3-4 week bc a well-groomed beard goes hand in hand with proper skincare. a sucker for aromatic products. lavender? shea butter? SOLD.

daichi. “healthy lifestyle is key to healthy skin“ typa dude. rly just thinks natural is the way to go. drinks 8 glasses of water, eats his veggies, exercises regularly, gets 8 hours of sleep. sounds like smth off wikihow if u ask me. probably is.

tsukishima. cetaphil hoe. brand loyalty embodied. on it for 5++ years, and never once considered switching. BUT. his routine ends at step 1. cleanse. and that’s it. the fuck he need a 32 step skincare routine for? long as he gets a day’s worth of grime and dirt off his face, he gucci

yamaguchi. sensitive skin’s got him constantly changing/exploring different products. rode on tsukki’s cetaphil agenda for the first few years of puberty (rly just out of curiousity) but dropped out when his skin got used to it. thinks pimple patches are a blessing to mankind.

tanaka. fuck. chaotic greasy. asks for oil film from suga just to stick it on his forehead, lets it stay there. uses whatever’s in the bathroom to wash off, aka majority of saeko’s products. got yelled at once to “get his greasy ass over here” and got slabbed with aztec healing clay mask. converted to clay mask hoe after 20 minutes. “mm this shit’s dope!”

nishinoya. fuck. chaotic greasy part ii. but make it baby face. only does skincare when chillin at the tanakas. homie got him to try the clay mask bc chick’s dig that. “bro, u mean the mask or boys who do the mask?” “both bro” “awshit bro gimme that” thinks splashing some water twice a week is enough

kageyama. ? this yalls mans? oblivious to the whole concept of skincare, only acknowledges general hygiene. uses whatever’s on the soap holder to wash his face. probably dove. doesnt really have much skin problems to begin with, only breaks out once a year. living proof that god has favorites.

hinata. only started taking skincare seriously that time a huge ass zit grew on his chin. yachi offered him her unfinished bottle of cosrx (she’s a hoarder and u kno it), and has since been giving him all her leftover bottles. basically gets to use good quality products for free smh

nekoma

kuroo. not very big on the idea of skincare per se, but supports any brand on that cruelty-free and vegan agenda. reads the product ingredients like a children’s book. “mm phenoxyethanol and retinyl palmitate.. i’ll take it.” always leaves the saleslady stunned.

kenma. too lazy to adopt a routine. but regularly uses his mom’s facial wash. you know. those mom brands. has a stash of facemasks from lev’s trip to korea —> only form of skincare he actually appreciates bc he can simultaneously play his games and be all bout dat self care 

lev. abuses his perks of having a sister. casually uses all alisa’s imported, high end stuff. la prairie. estee lauder. la mer. and she doesn’t mind bc her “levochka deserves all the finest things”. boujee ass russians

yaku. baby face. when god made it rain collagen, he was freestylin in a pool full of it while we was all sleepin. doesn’t exert much effort, just cleanses and tones bc it’s part of proper hygiene. girls envy him. parents in their 40s wanna be him. 

seijoh

oikawa. SKINCARE HOE KING. fuckin high maintenance. goes to the derma for his monthly laser facial treatment. on broke days, he settles for a diamond peel. skin so smooth it puts the entire female population to shame. spends his savings on those clinique eye creams. probably modeled for the face shop once

iwaizumi. homie reeks of male cleanser. might either dove men or nivea men. there’s no in between. oikawa internally screams everytime he witnesses his bff wash his face. two words. aggressive. rubbing. bordering on hostile he might actually skin his face off

mattsun and makki. fuck. drugstore cleansers. the ones that come in sachets. agreed to take turns in buying bundles for sharing. sometimes sneaks a pinch from oikawa’s clinique products when he’s not looking. haha dumb hoe. may have an addiction to charcoal nose pore strips just so they can compare blackheads

fukurodani

bokuto. buys whatever’s on sale idfk. genuinely wants to get on kuroo’s go green agenda but too lazy to look around the store. normally just uses the bubbles from his soap or shampoo. his belief: if it cleans his hands and his ass, then it can fuckin clean his face too

akaashi. healthy lifestyle + decent regimen = pretty skin. cleanses and tones. tried his mom’s aloe vera face gel once and got hooked. shit’s relaxing as hell. owns a bunch of facemasks, sometimes uses but keeps forgetting to take them off before falling asleep. uwu af

dateko

futakuchi. doesn’t have a routine cause “who tf needs that” and “obviously not me.” or so he says. secretly the biggest spender on skincare in all of dateko. owns a bunch of anti wrinkle products and probably one of those jade rollers. but no one needs to know that. just wants everyone to think he’s naturally pretty

aone. told by futakuchi that “knitting your brows too much causes premature wrinkles, but not like i’m an expert on that hhhahaha dont get me wrong.” can’t rly do anything bout it. he was born with that face. also buys whatever’s on sale

shiratorizawa

ushijima. surprisingly blemish free? but not entirely smooth? just spotless? basically a rock? never went past step 1: cleanse. never realized he’s been skipping out the 31 next steps. cetaphil hoe.

tendou. dry. crusty. compensates by sweating a lot through practice. might be effective if he’d stop leaving the foam on longer than recommended, thus leaving his skin dryer than his love life. yeah, i went there.

shirabu. flawless at first glance. until you lift those uneven ass bangs. tbh its nothing serious except “are we gonna ignore the fact that his whiteheads follow the shape of his bangs” as pointed out by tendou. uses whatever cleanser his mom buys for him

semi. decent skin care routine. a big boy who’s fairly knowledgeable on other brands outside cetaphil and dove/garnier/nivea men. takes him less than 5 minutes to pick a product bc he’s tried them all, knows what works, knows his skin type in and out. stan semi for clear skin.

see inarizaki + sakusa here

[a-deadly-serenade]

overall this season was pretty decent. i have some thots whats new so im gonna share them below the cut if anyone’s interested :)

so!! first off i’ll say that there were a lot of things i did really enjoy from season 4!

the action was super fun as always!! i loved all the crazy enemies and callbacks! the skeleton fight and all those little goblins they kept killing throughout were a nice touch ;) sypha’s use of her powers is INSANE her ice-chainsaw?? her WALL of fire?? electric balls?? come on. and the animation was NICE. i really wanna know who did most of the fight scenes bcuz the style is so different and it just POPS but in a really good way? 

my favorite fight has to be ofc when everyone is REUNITED yes im basic. but the THEME song going off and well, im a whore for sotn references and i CAME when i saw the leap stone ref w the winged cape or when alucard turned into a hoard of batss AND THEN HIS WOLF FORM OOOOHH BABY!!! actually episode 9 is just a straight banger.

STRIGAAA. STRIGA. oh mama i was sweating during that fight. mad kudos to her va for them growlsss

carmilla vs isaac was a lot of fun and i loved the visuals but my hype was instantly ruined when i saw her kill herself 😭but thats smth i’ll complain about later.

not all the lines were bangers, some of sypha’s swearing seemed even a bit too much at times, and it was especially jarring to be having a face-to-face death-math with literal Death and hes acting like a naughty little 5 year old thats just learnt to swear. maybe cut back on the fuck-isms? just a bit? BUT when they hit they did GOOD. “the fuck what now?” yes

ISAAC. you weren’t in this season as much but man do u still shine through. i loved his introduction back in the town where he has his night creatures digging graves and rebuilding the city 😭 and then the conversation he shares w his flyman?? obsessed.

Hector chopping his finger off and giving lenore and carmilla a good ol FUCK YOU!! as he helps isaac. we love to see it

Trevor and Sypha’s “I love you!” “I know.” <3

DEATHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

oh! alucard actually having a story & purpose in the plot? :) luv it love to see it. that being said... the Plot. 

its... ok? it’s kind of split up into 3/4 parts, as the story progresses, one eventually merges with several of the others kind of? cohesively? while leaving the other to sort itself out.

now, i didnt have too many qualms with it, it was pretty straight forward. dracula is going to be resurrected and we have sypha and trevor looking in on it, while alucard helps the nearby village and hector and isaac go on about bringing on their inevitable showdown. however, the way the story was paced and some of the decisions they made... werent so great.

st. germain for example, brought the ENTIRE momentum from the last few episodes to a halt. you have sypha and trevor fighting through heaps and heaps of monsters only to find themselves back in Targoviste where they meet the mysterious Zamfir!! and Alucard!! he’s been asked to help save this village!! all jam-packed with crazy action and animation that leaves you fired up!! and then episode 5 comes to a screeching halt and we spend nearly the entire thing on st. germain’s backstory and explaining his motives for the rest of the season

like. imma be real with you chief: he didnt need to be here lol. you could have just left varney as the main vamp in charge of bringing back big daddy drac and he could reveal to his.. idk henchmen or something that he’s death. but u gotta fill them ten 20 minute slots somehow!! he just fell so flat and unfortunately, a lot of the side-characters suffer from this this season.

i enjoyed great and zamfir, i love their desgins esp, but they really could have been fleshed out more. zamfir is shown as nothing but a spoiled brat the majority of the time she’s on screen but they wait till she’s about to die to try and turn her character around? huh? greta is given a bit more screentime but this sudden confession of feelings in the last episode felt so... huh?? why couldnt she just be dedicated to her people and show that u can love someone w/out necessarily being their partnr? i thot that was her whole thing; taking care of her people. it’s like. where did this come from. they cant have known each other more than a week at most dog 😭

it sucks they dedicated to much time to scenes that didnt really need to be there where we could have gotten this proper development, like maybe have a scene zamfir and sypha connect over struggles they’ve dealt with in the past and that has her open up about how traumatizing dracula’s attack on her city was. u could have expanded upon her role in the court and WHY she worshipped the monarchy so much instead of making it a throwaway gag about her being “crazy”. but why have that when we could instead spend the first 5 minutes of said episode watching a monotonous back-and-forth b/w varney and that big burly russian vampire who’s name im sure mor than 98% of the audience cant even remember? 

just a lot of fat that needed to be trimmed so that the actual MEAT of the story could be slow cooked to perfection. people really arent kidding when they say less is more. 

another big problem i had was there... i dont even know what to call it, re-humanization? redemption? of Lenore. like lmk if im wrong but she manipulated hector, yeah? coerced sex to slip on that ring that binds him to her?? orr whatever weird shit warren’s into. but the way they interacted, ESPECIALLY in their first major scene together was sooo uncomfortable to watch lol at first i thought perhaps hector was only playing along because well. hes enslaved to do her and carmilla’s bidding. but no, he actually LIKES her. he spares her when isaac comes around, he says that he wants to keep her as his own. and in the meantime, lenore finds time to complain to a man that’s been beaten and enslaved how upset it makes her that carmilla got angry at her 😭 or says thats she tired of isaac keeping tabs on her and wants to escape this ‘cage’. to  aman thats literally been imprisoned since youve known him 😭her death is seen as peaceful, calm, they even try and tug at ur heartstrings by swelling this sad, dramatic music as the sun rises. really? LENORE?

and carmilla’s death happened WAYY too early imo. she was the villain for practically 3 seasons and this is how she goes? isaac couldnt get more than a stab at her? his night creatures couldnt take a nibble? HECTOR couldnt even be given a chance to do somethng like come on

the resolution was... strange? it was cute!! and happy!! but i dunno if they really needed to have lisa and vlad coming back, but, like i said; it was cute! definitely not the ending i was expecting. 

i’m glad that they put their focus back on what made the show so much fun and that was the FIGHTS. they definitely helped add some much needed spice to things when scenes started to drag, but im a gal that really luvs a good story and even though reviews were raving that this season helped closed the lid on all the themes theyd been exploring, i just didnt really see that. which isnt necessarily a BAD thing, i knew i wasnt gonna find some deep introspective themes in this hack n slash horror-fantasy, its just what can turn somethng like this from an ok show to a GREAT one. 

in the end, im glad they stopped at this one and im curious to see if they really DO go ahead on making spin-offs. bcuz unfortunately, i will always be down for som new castlevania content

[levinneheart]

Never loved you

Shinsou Hitoshi x Reader (College AU)

Warning/s: Characters are 20+; slight IzuOcha ship; Fluff; Angst; implied Depression; may or may not been based on experience

And yes, the title is a Song by Evie Clair. You’re quirk is smth to do w/ Empath and it’s not hero material by norms.

You never expect to encounter him. Out of all the people you could’ve met, you didn’t believe you that you could met him online out of all the places.

It started when you became friends with a group of talented singers and musicians as you also joined into the fun – abeit not as talented as them, you tried your best and put your all into it. Not long after that, you began knowing the group which consists of all the previous students of Class 1-A and some other students of UA and soon, Mina invited you to join their group as an “honorary member” as you lived in another country which you gladly accepted.

Sometimes, you would join the voice call and be overwhelmed by the amount of voices blasting in your earphone. Sometimes, you would listen silently as everyone talked over each other while Bakugou screamed and make small explosions that literally makes everyone deaf. Rip earphone users. You loved and treasured these moments with them, although you didn’t know what they looked like.

It wasn’t until he joined that made you the happiest. You were currently teasing Midoriya and Uraraka, saying they were cute crushing on each other, much to Uraraka’s denial and Midoriya’s stuttering. Chuckling, you continue with your impromptu storytelling of their love blossoming until both of them are beyond speechless. You decided to stop when Bakugou joined the conversation.

“Yo, Mina invited other damn extra!” he informed in his usual loud voice.

“Kaachan, you shouldn’t talk to Shinsou like that! He’s listening you know!” Midoriya scolded softly.

You checked and someone was listening in, they had a cat picture as a profile pic and you couldn’t helped but smack yourself in embarrassment as you didn’t noticed earlier while Bakugou and Midoriya beefed it out in the voice chat. You muted them, not wanting to hear they’re yelling of being the no. 1 hero.

“I agree with you btw.” chatted the one with cat pic. “It’s so obvious, it makes me roll my eyes that they remain oblivious to each other’s feelings.”

“IKR!” You typed back, forgetting your embarrassment.

“You’re not from UA, are you?”

“No. Actually, I’m just an honorary member as Mina says since I live miles away haha.”

“I see. I’m Shinsou, Shinsou Hitoshi btw.”

“(l/n) (f/n)! Nice to meet’cha!”

You didn’t know how it happened but you felt an instant connection to him and you two hitted it off from then. You two would always chat in your private message and it quickly became unnoticed by the others, they even started to ship is and make an official name for the ship. You played oblivious as did he, although both of you already know about it.

After two weeks, he called you bb and you couldn’t helped but blush before awkwardly telling him: you really really liked him. At first, he didn’t say anything so you were half-expecting him to reject you and that’ll be it. But surprised, he told you: he liked you back. However you both decided that it’s too early for a relationship so you two now have a peace of mind that at least the other feels the same way.

It was fun, interacting with him, sending him uwus and heart memes, etc. You learned that he’s working as a pro hero while you studied in university. You learned he’s a gamer who sings, plays the guitar and ukulele ngl i can honesty see this as canon. And he plays basketball and soccer just pretend sksksksksk.

You two would schedule voice calls as you both were busy, it would always play out as – you would come home late and wait for him to get out of work as you two chatted away before actually getting in the call once he’s home. You would usually ask about he’s day and about his job and he’d reply with his usual deep tired voice that you’ve grown to love curses my deep voice kink.

This went for two months. Until one night while you were staying up late studying, he chatted your name. This was the first time he called you by your real name, usually he would call you by your username or “bb” as usual so this sudden change set butterflies in your stomach.

“Yes, Toshi?” you replied before teasingly sent, “This is the 1st time you called me by my name haha.”

“I wanted to tell you something important so I thought it’d catch your attention.”

“Well, what is it?”

“I love you.”

Without thinking you typed, “I love you too.” and sent it before realizing what he meant. “Do you meant that as a friend?” You immediately sent.

“Do you want me to say that?”

You blushed hard, you can imagine him chuckling at your stupid question. “Uhhh no??? Idk??? You’re not joking, right??”

“I wouldn’t have said it, if I didn’t mean it.”

“Really?” You couldn’t believe it so you just had to ask.

“Yes.”

“Tell it to me again plz 🥺👉👈.”

“I love you, (y/n).”

“I love you too, Toshi.”

“In advance, I’m so sorry for being a weirdo.”

“But you’re my weirdo.”

Cue squealing. But after that, it went spiraling down. A month and a week went by without communication from him; no updates, no greetings, no nothing. You decided to confront him about your concerns. You understand that he’s busy at work and you were always supportive and understanding at his job were his top priority.

But couldn’t he at least spare you a few minutes of his free time, maybe when he woke up or during his breaks. You didn’t ask for more so you were slightly disappointed with him as it worried you that he worked 6am-2am everday without holiday breaks besides Nov.1-2.

You voiced those concerns to him, he apologized and you forgave him. But this behavior of his continued on and this made you sad, other would say you’re depressed but you were too occupied with thoughts of him; his voice; the feeling he gave you, etc.

For another month and three days, you confront him again but this time he left your pm and blocked you. You panicked as negative thoughts flooding your mind.

Did you do anything wrong? You weren’t too clingy, right? Your chat wasn’t too honest, right?

You somehow managed to calm your mind after a couple of minutes and through logical evaluation and elimination, you concluded that you didn’t do anything wrong. But the questions remain: Why did he leave? Why did he blocked you?

For the longest time, you couldn’t answer that. You spend your time drifting off from reality and to your memories with Toshi while day-by-by you lessen your interactions with your online friends, seemingly just vanishing from thin air.

You felt empty, a void of loneliness filled you as you went your way through your own life, not knowing what to do with yourself or even feel. Why did it come to this? Everything went fine, you two were happy so why? Why did he suddenly leave you all alone like that?

———————————————————————

Today was the reunion of UA batch [number]. Shinsou stood in the far corner of the Gym Gamma, his back leaning against the wall as he observed everyone and everything. He noticed an unfamiliar yet familiar (h/c) locks, he watch as you talked with Sero, Tokoyami, Shouji, and Ojirou. You were especially close to Ojirou, you practically by his side with your arm linked with his.

He didn’t know why he was growing irritated and angry at sight of you being in someone else’s arms when he damn well know that you deserve to move on after what he’d done to you after all those three years but still… He had hoped that you actually waited for him.

You were suddenly called by Kirishima as you leaned towards Ojirou and whispered a soft ‘see you’ before walking towards to him.

“(Y/n)-chan! I want you to meet someone!” He said as he dragged you towards where a lone lavender haired man stood before running away. You opened your mouth to objects but it was already too late, he was gone. You looked at the stranger and felt that same connection when you met him, you knew. Although not having to see his face, you just knew that it was him: Shinsou.

“(L/n) (f/n)! Nice to meet’cha!” You cheered brightly, just like when you first introduced yourself to him.

“I know.” he replied. “I’m Shinsou Hitoshi.” God, why I am so lame. He thought.

“Oh! Nice to finally and officially meet you, Shinsou-san!” You smiled as you raised your glass towards him.

Why did you have to call him like a stranger? And not the usual ‘Toshi’ you would always call him?

He clicked his glass with yours and took a sip as his eyes spotted a shiny accessory on your ring finger, making his heart froze. That’s why. You were engaged. Of course, why wouldn’t you be? You were ever so patient, understanding and supportive. It didn’t even surprise him.

When you finished you glass, you excused yourself as Jirou announces the last song for tonight that is written by the guess before she yelled out your name and you climbed up the stage.

“Love do you know?

We've been growing apart

And you should know

That for me that's hard

Darling I'm scared if I let you go, oh

This will be goodbye for good

It's easier this way

I'll spare my heart some pain

Even though I know it isn't true

It's easier this way

I'll spare my heart some pain

Even though I know it isn't true

‘I never loved you’

And I won't say

That I knew it from the start

So you can say

That we weren't torn apart

'Cause for me, oh it's easier to bleed, oh

When I know you can sleep so I keep telling myself

It's easier this way

I'll spare my heart some pain

Even though I know it isn't true

It's easier this way

I'll spare my heart some pain

Even though I know it isn't true

I feel numb when the drums slow down

Oh, leave me dumb so I can't tell myself

Myself, oh

It's easier this way

I'll spare my heart some pain

I already know that it just isn't true

It's easier this way

I'll spare my heart some pain

Even though I know it isn't true

‘I never loved you’.”

Part 2, maybe???

[jjkfire]

honestly i am CONVINCED like i HEAR U when u emphasize with ur life how beneficial it is to invest 😂 i really do take u seriously tho but the only thing is that it’s pretty daunting when my financial literacy is shite like i’m a stem major in undergrad and i want to become smarter with my money and invest but first things first is a bitch has got to read and figure out what this all means !! i will definitely take ur advice tho and when i have the time i’m going to read into it!

haha me busting a lung about how important investing is!!! i think a great place to start is this graham stephan video. it’s 15 minutes long but it’s 15 minutes you can spare. people doubt investing in index funds because you won’t be rich immediately but you know what, you definitely will be rich in 20 years. like millionaire rich. anyway graham makes the topic approachable and more understandable plus he gives you the facts and numbers. it’s really a great place to start! watch it over lunch or smth. after watching a few of his videos, i went to reddit and read all the resources on r/personalfinance. it is a wonderful subreddit!

you can do it! i was a STEM major too :3 i opened my robinhood account junior year and finally committed to buying stocks in my senior year. like above, my journey started with youtube videos, reddit and cnbc articles. the first stock i bought was twilio at $125.70 and i wouldn’t say it was the smartest thing to do in terms of standard financial advice but it’s a company i believed in and even mentioned in the first few chapters of Escape which i wrote 3 years prior to me buying the stock. i sold for profit at $150 which was not a great move tbh but then I rebought later on at $220 and as of writing it is worth $342.86. that’s $122.86 profit. 

then i moved into safer investments like VOO which is the index fund that is mentioned in the video above among other ‘popular’ stocks. but all you really need is VOO and to remember you should always be buying and never selling VOO. when it tanks, just buy more. it’s known as the dollar cost averaging method. you can just google index fund millionaire to see all the many gajillion articles about it. if being a millionaire in the future doesn’t motivate you, i’m not sure what else will haha. it was all i needed tbh!!! also, robinhood has fractional shares if you can’t afford the full price of a share. but again, only invest if the money you put in is money you can afford to lose. anyway being able to invest easily is one of the biggest benefits of being american. if you are american, it is an honest to god golden opportunity. you do not understand the hundred hoops other people have to jump through to invest in the american market, and the way uncle sam takes a 30% cut in terms of tax......... y’all get amazing tax benefits over everyone else because obvi it’s the american market. so! do! it! but do your homework first!!!!!! no paper hands, no panic sell. investing is the long game.

[frank-n-louie]

Wrt last post tags, something very weird to me is they’re both incredibly difficult to find online in plain text. “Periodic Table” exists first n foremost as a 2 min audio recording with Ms Brock Broido speaking it — altho there are a slight few text versions around they’re not the one I read originally & “Visionaries” is usually only findable via a single b/w photo of the collection it’s in (which in case anyone’s curious is Jackstraws and it’s excellent) on pinterest. But somehow, I managed at 13 or so to find both of them in text format on like, poets.org or smth, within 20 minutes of each other. All subsequent attempts to find them online in the same format or in the same place have failed. Bc of that (and please take this as me being a superstitious psychotic and not as me being full of myself) I really strongly feel like something wanted me to write or maybe just to care about writing and that those would beat that life into me? Like it just knew somehow how fucked I’d be without ever getting into writing and it was like “hey hold up dumbass you can’t die like this, here, this’ll carry you to your 20’s.” not like the universe really spared me on many occasions but I do feel like I keep getting seemingly tiny gifts to keep me around

[elenaxever]

( Chloe Bennet, 25, cisfemale, she/her ) Have you seen ELENA EVER around ? I hear they’re a SINGER AT EDEN/HACKER who can sometimes be HEADSTRONG & RECKLESS. But I also heard they can be COURAGEOUS & COMPASSIONATE if you catch them on a good day. they’re usually hanging around FATES in their spare time. i sure hope they’re alright !

hello hello, claire (she/her, gmt+1) again i know you’re getting bored of me but here’s my third bby and the ‘normal’ one out of the three, though that’s relative too if we’re being honest... anyway if you want this stubborn little thing to plot with her, give this a ❤ and imma come @ you 

pinterest page 

STATS: ➤  NAME: Elena Ever ➤  AGE: 25 ➤  DOB: 6th of May ➤  BORN: New York City ➤  HEIGHT: 5′5′’ ➤  SIBLINGS: unknown ➤  MBTI: ENFJ ➤  ORIENTATION: bisexual ➤  OCCUPATION: singer at Eden, freelance hacker ➤  EDUCATION: high school education  ➤  TATTOOS: yes, a tattoo that was placed on her by the brothel, she hides it obsessively ➤  SCARS: yes, various ➤  AESTHETICS: leather jackets and combat boots, her phone and a cup of lukewarm coffee always in her hand, a flat full of computers, a raging motorcycle between her legs, leather fingerless gloves, nails painted black, skirts and dark stockings, a laptop in her bag, always going somewhere ➤  VICES: tobacco, alcohol, sex, drugs (before)  ➤  PETS: yes a shiba inu and a hedgehog (idk man) 

HISTORY: 

➤  She was born a bastard to a mother that didn’t want her and a father that never knew. Her mom was an dancer and a prostitute in New York, a young woman trying to get by to whom the pregnancy happened by accident. Elena grew up among the women who worked at that club, and though her mother was far from thrilled by her - she still cared for her, as did the other women. There were a few kids like her there, but she was hardly aware that a life they were leading was far from ideal.  ➤  During her teen years she started showing interested in computers, and had a mind for coding - able to see things and connections most others didn’t. It was a way to connect to other people of similar interests and she soon found a place where she finally fit in. She started running with that crowd, but it was far from ideal and Elena was desperate to keep her status now that she’d found a place where she was finally seen and respected.  ➤  Out of some rebellious teenage stupidity, Elena ran away when she was barely 16. Though her family situation wasn’t ideal, it was a far cry from what was expecting her out there in the real world. She just didn’t realise that yet.  ➤   As her notoriety grew in the community, people started showing interest. Chief among them being the man running and underground crime business that dealt exclusively with black-hat hacking. Hungry for a place to settle, and a stable community to call her own after 2 years on the run - Elena accepted the proposal. They’d give her a place to stay in the base, all the resources she needed and all she had to do was do as she was told.  ➤  Elena trusted the man, she trusted everyone there and she would soon learn that people are rarely trustworthy, and she’d learn it the hard way. She was young and he enticed her, he was her idol - a notorious hacker in the business, brilliant and fascinating. How could a young girl of 18 not fall for that?  ➤   Betrayal came like a bucket of cold water dumped on her - a field mission gone wrong, the enemy closing in without anyone to get her out. No one even tried. She thought he’d come till the last minute, but as they dragged her away into a dark van, there was no one to be seen, no one to catch her when she fell.  ➤   Turns out the man who took her was a mobster from New York, running an illegal prostitution ring, and so he dragged her back home - but it looked nothing like the way she thought she’d return.  ➤   They broke her spirits there - and don’t get me wrong, she put up hell of a fight. But there’s only so much a human can take, before they’re broken seemingly beyond repair. She became numb, distant - there were places in her mind where she’d go to hide, lines of code she’d go through over and over again until it was done.  ➤   But even then, at her lowest, darkest moments - a spark was enough to light a fire within her. There was a person there - she never learned who they were exactly - but they offered her a chance, a split second to make a decision and run for her life. She got out. So many more didn’t. It would haunt her for the rest of her life.  ➤   Once out, she found her mother again - she was beaten and bruised but still standing. A realisation came to her a few days later - was this all there was? This life? It couldn’t be. She’d been through so much - the world swallowed a girl and spit out a woman - it was about time she took things into her own hands. After all she was free again, and she would never let anyone own her again.  ➤    On a whim, like she does most things, she decided she’d find the person that had offered her a chance at escape, she decided she couldn’t let this rest, she decided she would have to learn to fight so she would never feel so helpless again. So she followed the leads - back to Chicago.  ➤    She knew the bare minimum about this person, only that they were involved with the criminal world of Chicago, the seedy underbelly of the city - but horrible odds never stopped her, so why would they now?  ➤    She settled in Chicago, finding work at Eden as a singer - it was a small win for her, to take this part of her and piece it together. It reminded her of what was done to her, but it also reminded her that she was her own woman now, and no one was controlling her. On the side she still works as a hacker, but a freelance one - not involved with any syndicate and making sure she’s covering her tracks so they wouldn’t find her again.

PERSONALITY:  +  courageous, compassionate, kind, determined, clever

-  stubborn, reckless, impulsive, addictive, idealistic

HEADCANONS: 

➤   She owns a tiny apartment, but it’s enough for her needs. She doesn’t want to get greedy and expose herself too much just to get some more money. What she earns she spends mostly on her hacking equipment - it’s basically her baby.  ➤   She spends a lot of time on her laptop at the Fates, downing coffee after coffee until her heart is in a wild tachycardia (it’s not healthy and she knows it). She likes being around people instead of just always locked at her apartment.  ➤    Singing is a thing she has loved since she was a kid, it lets her get lost in the melody and the words, it’s almost like she’s someone else. This is why she’s working at Eden - it lets her couple work with something she loves, and it also allows her to face the fears from the past. After all you cannot always be strong, but you can be brave.  ➤    She loves movies, especially the old kind - they’re idyllic, a much-needed escape from reality. So if she likes you don’t be surprised if she drags you to her place or the cinema to watch something.  ➤    She absolutely adores her motorcycle and takes it everywhere, claiming it’s simply a more practical way of transport than a car is. Truth is, she just likes the thrill of it - the way she’s dancing with death when she’s speeding down the street.  ➤   That’s another thing about her - she’s a reckless creature. She likes the danger, the thrill, and she’s always the first to jump into trouble if it means protecting someone. She’s big on being on the side of the underdog, and regardless of the situation, she just can’t let things slide even if it means getting her ass kicked in the process. It wouldn’t be the first time.  ➤    She struggles a lot with ptsd and survivor guilt, but has never had enough sense to get some help. It’s mostly because she feels like she’s alone in the world and there’s never anyone to stand up for her - so she can do it on her own, she has to.  ➤    She has like 20 leather jackets, a good 80% of her closet is just leather jackets. It’s unhealthy. And also combat boots and heeled combat boots, there’s just nothing in between except when she’s working and she has to dress appropriately.  ➤    Her cigarettes of choice are Lucky Strike, and she has an old beaten-up zippo that a friend once gave it to her (the same one whose criminal syndicate she’d been working for). She hates him, yet she still keeps the lighter, a creature of habit.  ➤    She’s an energetic person, always hell-bent on helping people (maybe because she feels no one ever held a hand out to her) so it’s not weird for her to approach people if she senses they’re not in a good place. She’ll talk to them, or offer them a cigarette or drag them out to have some drinks, but whatever it is she will be there.  ➤    There is a tattoo on her forearm that she obsessively covers and hides with sleeves and arm pieces, it’s back from her days of prostitution when they marked her as theirs. She hates it but lets it stay there as a reminder never to give up her own agency like that again. She also has some scars and burn marks from that time but they don’t bother her as much though she hides them too.  ➤    She can be seen taking self-defence classes and going to the shooting range to practice. It offers her peace of mind and some semblance of a hold on her sanity - a thought that she could defend her self (badly though probably) if something were to happen. ➤   She WILL try to befrend you count on it. Also I’ll come up with more random hcs I just wanted to give her an introduction :)  wanted connections: i’m currently making a wanted connections page for her but honestly everything and anything is welcome!!! like she could’ve been a runaway kid with your charrie or smth (i would LOVE those connections), maybe people who were also in the syndicate with her? or people who were abused like her and managed to get away? also she’s sneaking around looking for clues about gangs and although she’s just trying to reach out to say thank you and all that jazz, it looks suspicious (she never thought of it that way cause ya know... the girls a genius for hacking but can be clueless), also fwb she has a thing for that because she has trust issues etc. but also likes to have fun, and friends just in general she needs her squad  for more specific ones i’m gonna post like a wanted connection, like that guy from syndicate who left her behind, and also someone involved with gangs (doesn’t matter in which way) who helped her escape (i left that purposefully vague af)  SO basically ALL of it?? 

[aquarianlights]

Most important Planned Parenthood Meeting in years tomorrow...

Fucking pray for me or send me positive vibes or do a fucking ritual or sacrifice a goddamn virgin for me please because I have NO IDEA what to expect at my HRT meeting tomorrow at Planned Parenthood and I've been going there and working with them for 3 years and I'm expecting to know by the end of the session either a "No, pending, or yes" on whether I can start HRT or not. And if it's yes, then when. Pending, then on what and when. No, then moot point on all the other options they've always reassured me I have because I just can't do this without T-therapy so I'm fucking done if they deny me for HRT after all these years of fighting... I don't have any fight left in me to even go to get a second opinion from a less reliable source [aka anyone who isn't associated with PPH].

But now I'm realizing they may not give me those answers... and I may walk out with more questions than answers. And if I get told no, it will destroy me more than anything ever has in my life... from the inside out. I can't live like this anymore. I cannot and I will not.

It's not that I don't appreciate my doc always sitting down with me and reassuring me that there are other options to transition and that I can still transition successfully without T... But I can't do it ...NATURALLY....without T... and it just won't feel real to me, personally.... and I feel sick. I never get nervous or anxious about appointments. Especially not PPH appointments. I feel like Planned Parenthood is almost like my home away from home... my safe space. But now I'm terrified to walk through those bulletproof doors and be buzzed in.... I'm about to start hyperventilating and need to reach for some valium just thinking about it.

I hope to god they allow my friend as my support system for my appointments or I may not make it through this alive tomorrow. Thank fuck he agreed immediately to come with me and be my support system through a 2+ hour appointment and a possible blood draw + waiting room time + a 3 hr drive there + a 3 hr drive back... That's a true friend right there. We've known each other since sophomore year of high school. He's about to turn 26 and I just turned 26 this month. Fucking crazy. We will be doing other stuff while we are there.. and will be reuniting with another high school friend we had in our expansive circle we haven't seen in a while we are both excited about but it'll be after my appointment so I may either be on top of the world, anxious and preoccupied, or just crushed, lethargic, apathetic, angsty, moody, snappy, angry, and just plain broken to the core...and very, VERY suicidal l....taking any chance I can get to escape to my car while they catch up to go down every pill in my car. Or slice that one spot that will render me incapable of ever working in the medical field if someone were to "save" me, but would kill me in 20 minutes or less guaranteed, make me pass out cold 10 minutes in or less also guaranteed. Or ...do something else to end it. Who knows. The extremeness of my BPD would drive my impulsivity and command response auditory hallucinations in my brain to an all time high and I wouldn't be able to stop to think about a single thing I was doing. It would just be too much. I've gone through so much "worse" and handled all that so much "better" in the eyes of everyone looking in... But from a personal standpoint.. as a transman... Who has been fighting for this to years and has adamantly made up his mind after debating for SO long.......... I need this. I need this NOW. TOMORROW, NOW.

FUck, if they don't let me bring my friend as supper Idk wrf I'm gonna do other than be catatonic the whole damn 2+ hours......till I hear the prognosis... Or lack thereof.

So please... just sacrifice your virgins for me tonight. I beg of you. It is 3am rn. I leave at 9:30am at the VERY latest. Hopefully more like 8:30-9:00am. . .but we'll see. Appt is at 1pm. Having Ehlers Danlos puts a damper on driving long distances straight without stopping to stretch and run around and such so have to leave with at least a half hour to an hour to spare.... Plus traffic. Ugh. Need to lay down and rest my joints and muscles. Three appoints of 3 hr there and 3 hr back has killed me. With 6 days of no sleep. Thank fuck 20mg of ambien got me 8 solid hours of sleep with no interruption. Coz my body didn't pass out naturally for 4-6 hrs on day 6 like normal so I had to induce it. Weird. Whatever.

Time to fucking lay down and...panic and die.

Fucking pray for me or smth.

[deeisace]

Okay. A third round of last minute tetris'ing things into my bags. I fucking swear to god if they cancel this flight tomorrow. Apparently Ryanair are being dead strict now about the size of the bags And I came with my laptop bag, which is about twice the size as the little bag that’s properly allowed. So now I’ve stuck it in my hand luggage bag which just now is the weight limit. Uhhh So now I’m tetris'ing uh let’s see, many tiny lovely pots of jam, some clothes, all my other electrickery (chargers and whatisthething, ive forgotten the word for the electric thing you cut your hair with, but that thing), some tea (vervaine uh, verbena and mint, which I haven’t bothered finding in England), my knitting (two balls of wool and the actual knitting and the little notebook with), many many pens and bottle tops and general shite I can’t be arsed with sorting. A leather shoulder bag I bought in Spain that can probably definitely be left here. And a big pad of paper, but I spose I only need the first few sheets with writing on. Spare red sock wool that can definitely be left here, but not the needles (4mm’s are very useful) Uh. Into my hold luggage.

. pfft. I’m giving up for the night, am going to listen to an episode of the adventure zone and knit If I manage by some bizarre miracle (I have to do another what 20 times 4 is 80? 80 rows. But they’re little-ish rows? They’re getting littler? Slowly?) to get this now off the needles, will that make it easier to Tetris? Idk. I thiiink I’m on like. Episode. 20-smth? 21! Also, as a side note, my hair is like. The exact shade of blue/green as is mum’s mouthwash. Which is. A nice thought? And I’m gonna fuckin freeze to death whenever I fucking get back to England. It’s fucking cold here, I’m gonna die when I get to London I have jumpers. I have A jumper. And a hoodie. I’ll be fine.

[kl4us4]

HEARTBEAT (Bellamy Blake x Reader)

Request: could u please do one w Bellamy (start of s3) where 2 recon teams go out and the other one finds u and ur station and when Bellamy gets back he doesn’t know but walks in to inform Abby who’s in medical and sees u being examined but and he overheard u saying ur fine and to help the kids or smth and he like falls in love w u all over again and it’s a happy reunion thank u💖

The feeling of being rescued was an odd sense of freedom you hadn’t felt before. You sit on the bed in medical, watching Abby Griffin rushing around the room to the stethoscope. Smiling to yourself, you admire how hard she’s working to keep the survivors alive. You were pulled from the wreckage with minimum wounds by a recon team that was sent to find the location of the stations that landed. You can’t remember much about it, but you remember the feeling. 

 Bellamy Blake marches into the medial wing, brown eyes scanning for a particular doctor. You sit with your back facing the door and Abby places the cold end of the stethoscope to your lower back, “Breathe in and out as you normally would. I’ll be with you in a second Bellamy." 

 Bell watches on, waiting for Dr Griffin to have a spare minute in her busy schedule. Turning to face the boy at the doorway, you sigh. "Please tell her I’m fine.” A smile makes its way to the man’s lips, making your cheeks heat up. 

Abby looks to him, rolling her eyes playfully as she rests the stethoscope around her neck. “Tell her I’m doing my job. And that cut won’t stitch itself, you know?” She points to your arm, blood starting to soak through your shirt.

 "I’m happy to help.“ Bellamy speaks up, stepping forward. Connecting your eyes with his for a few seconds, you feel slightly intimidated by his stare. The older woman’s eyes shift between the two of you, sensing something in the air. 

"Abby, I’m alright.” You croak, giving her a smile, “Go look after the children, they need it more than me.” With only a look of amused defeat, she exits the room and rushes away to her next patient. “Hi.” You speak. It’s quiet as Bellamy shifts through the drawers, finding what he needs to stitch the cut on your shoulder. 

 "Hi.“ Bellamy holds back a smile as he sits down beside you, "Can I?” His fingers hover over the collar of your shirt next to your shoulder. 

 "Go ahead.“ There’s a smile of your own etched onto your features as you talk to him. Bellamy steadies his uneven breath, confused as to why he felt so nervous sitting next to you. Pulling your shirt down your arm, he exposes your collar bone. "Thanks. For everything. I know you were running the other recon team.” You begin talking as he uncaps the bottle of rubbing alcohol, “Abby told me you did great." 

 He nods, looking down at the cotton swab doused in liquid, "Thanks.” He lifts it up, one hand resting on your lower arm. “This is going to hurt but I promise it’ll be over soon, okay?" 

 You nod. "Okay.” He places the sterile swab over your wound, causing you to instantly whimper and tilt your head back. He watches your reaction, a stern look on his face as he removes it. You let out a small grunt, looking back at the wound, it’s red and irritated but compared to how everyone else is doing you’re extremely lucky. Bellamy’s fingers fiddle with the thread and metal, preparing the needle by dipping it into the alcohol. 

“Y/N, right? Tell me about yourself.” Not only is he interested in hearing about your story but he knows you’ll need something to get your mind off the discomfort and pain you’re about to endure. 

 "I’m 20. My favourite colour is green because it reminds me of trees.“ You begin, smiling to yourself, "I’ve never seen a tree." 

 Bell chuckles as the sharp tip of the needle pierces your skin, you wince quietly. "I guess we’ll have to change that." 

 Your slight frown turns into a small smile, "I guess we will.”

 For the next minute or two, you talk to Bellamy as you keep your eyes on his concentrated expression. Apparently he learnt his elite stitching skills from none other than Clarke Griffin herself, Abby’s legacy. Bellamy stands beside Abby, outside of the room where you tie your shoes. He’s promised to take you outside - to show you Earth. 

Abby stands with her hand placed on her hip and when Bells done updating her on everyone that’s in medical, she speaks up. “She likes you." 

 He’s taken aback, firstly wondering what she’s talking about but secondly wondering if it’s true. "How do you know?" 

 "I heard her heart start beating faster when she looked at you.”