#if you forget your meds one day your brain doesn't work right

[vaguelydefinedshapes]

it kinda bugs me when people say adhd is "only a disability because society isn't built for it" because like no who told you that??

even if every place was specifically built to be ADHD friendly, part of the brain still literally doesn't work right? like the part of your brain that lets you control goal focused behavior is messed up. the bit that lets you plan and problem solve and remember phone numbers and directions and faces with your working memory. the bit that lets you wash the dishes and stop yourself from buying that thing you don't need. that bit's broken

[softfem-dom]

being logan's iron deficiency princess™ would include.. masterlist with all of my works with logan's iron deficiency princess ,,

✰ him noticing that your scent had a different something from the ones from the other mutants. kind of as if it was lacking something, much weaker than the ones from other people.

✰ him noticing just how poorly you performed in P.E class whenever he walked past a window and saw you already exhausted after just two laps around the gardens.

✰ him starting to subcounsciously keep an eye on you while training and doing P.E most times just sitting in a bench with a cold beer as his excuse as to why he was watching especifically your class during that subject.

✰ him being the teacher on 'watch duty' during reccess the time you actually fainted just because of playing tag with some other teens your age.

The garden outside of the lived-in school was bustling with the sounds of yells and laughter coming from the noisy students enjoying their reccess time. Logan was sitting on a random bench, cigar between his index and fore finger as he kept a gruff eye on the teenagers coming and going. He had gotten dragged into 'watch duty', mostly to make sure no smartass tried to use their mutation and accidentally hurt someone, after half of the teachers had gone out in a special mission. And that was when he heard it, he knew the sound was not directly near him, but his enchanced hearing allowed him to hear the 'thud' of a body hitting the floor clear as day. His head snapping to the side with a quirked eyebrow, ready to scold whoever kid had pushed another to the floor, only to be met by the sight of the body of a girl on the floor. You. Out cold. With a groan, he was forced to put out his cigar and shoo the curious students away from your unconscious body.

✰ him eventually convincing Hank to get a blood test done on you, much to your dismay, and having to literally —and reluctantly— hold you down so you wouldn't go into hysterics at the sight of the needle.

✰ It turned out, you had the fucking lowest iron he had ever seen. He was no medic, but the ten (10) written next to the mcg/dL in the document when you clearly had to be over 35 to be healthy was a clear indicator.

"Look, bub" his voice was gruff, slightly raspy from the cigar he had smoked not half an hour before. He held the papers right up to your face, index finger pointing at the number in bold. "you see that? well, that's fucking low" Hank simply stared and listened from the sidelines, going over the rest of the information in the printed papers of your blood test results while listening to Logan scolding the hell out of you with the most deadpan look ever. As if the roughed up mutant knew anything about medical results, but he was right in one thing: your levels of iron in blood were fucking low.

✰ that's how Logan ended up, unwillingly, becoming the human tracker of your meds and other important things such as eating breakfast.

✰ He'd literally go as far as to yank you by the back of your shirt while you walked past him just to show you the box of meds with a quirked eyebrow and an unimpresed look.

✰ He gets mad whenever you don't take your meds, mostly because if you pair up not taking your meds with your forgetful nature in eating times terms, since it was him the one being called whenever you ended up in the infirmary.

,,

✰ There are days when the anemia leaves you tired and drained, when your brain simply won't focus and it feels as if you're living through a thick dream.

✰ On those days Logan doesn't hesitate in being the one with a warm hand firmly resting between your shoulders, gently guiding you to wherever you needed to go in the first place.

✰ Also, on your worst days, he'll also carry you with him wherever he goes. It's kind of like a protective urge deep down. Having you sit on one of his arms, your back against his chest, while he walks around the school with a cold beer in the other. ^piggybacking on this, he can definetely sense whenever is one of your bad days because the your scent is way weaker than normal.

"Logan?" Ororo's voice cut through the silence in the kitchen, an amused edge to it. The school halls and kitchen or common rooms were empty at this hour in the morning, only —albeit rarely— occupied by the teachers with free periods. "what?" he huffed, barely sparing her a glance as he momentarily struggled to pop the top of the beer bottle off with just one hand. "what are you doing?" "what do ya mean, bub?" "I mean, why do you have a student in your arms when she's supposed to be in class" the white-haired woman hummed, walking past by you both —your form sitting on Logan's bulky arm, back against his chest— to grab a drink from the big fridge. "her iron is too damn low" he grumbled, bringing the bottle to his lips to take a swig, while shooting you the tired-of-this-shit father™ look. "gotta keep an eye on her today, that's it" his voice wasn't louder than a deep grumble, almost as if he was annoyed by it, but the way he gently bumped his nose against your cheek when Ororo wasn't looking said otherwise. "you and your mama bear instincts" the woman teased, closing the the fridge's door and sending you a wink. "mama bear my fucking ass"

✰ he's also the one teacher to accompany you to the blood tests, always. He was that first time and he doesn't see why anyone else would need to take up his role, even if he acts like it annoys the shit out of him.

✰ will actually smack the back of your head when he passes by you somewhere, and when you ask what it's for, he'll say for not eating breakfast and fainting on your way up the stairs.

✰ whenever it's lunch time, and he happens to walk by you, he'll do the ✌👁👁🫵 thing as if saying 'you better eat, im watching you'.

✰ he'll take any and every opportunity to make it about your iron levels. You're tired? that's for not taking your fucking iron meds. You're groggy? that's for not taking your meds. You're moody? that's because of not taking your meds.

✰ And god help him if you ever end up hospitalized/interned in the infirmary due to your low iron levels. He'll go batshit about it with you, no gentleness no spoiling, just an angry and hella worried old man accusatorily pointing at you and telling you that if you keep this up he's going to get damn gray hairs.

✰ don't let it fool you though, after the initial anger his behaviour'll soften up. Just a little though, he'll definetely give you the nastiest side eye + cocked eyebrow combo EVER if you complain while on bed rest.

[mins-fins]

heart attack

&&. there's something hilarious about the beautiful doctor there to help with your terrible habits.

pairing: qian kun x gn!reader

genre: fluff

warnings: mentions of overworking, mentions of passing out & hospitalization

word count: 0.9k

notes: this….. THISSS💔💔💔 this drabble was very inspired by the thai movie heart attack (a movie that has no right being as cute as it is) kun fits the part so well because first.. doctor kun, and second.. kun is so amazing, i love kun, we all fucking love kun 😿 this is a early bday gift for user junjiie bc we all know he loves kun (happy early bday pookie ily) this is insanely self indulgent because i have slept less than three hours in these past five days and have been working myself to shit because.. med school!! yayyyyyyy!! im so excited!! (is not excited)

"so what's the matter with you?"

the usual roughness that would lace the voice of a medical professional is replaced by the softness you would feel of pillows, you glance up, meeting the eyes of the beautiful man before you. you stare, forgetting where you are for a moment, the exhaustion rendering you speechless.

but it's a whisper in your head that reminds you of where you are, and you flinch. "oh— i um.. there's these rashes appearing on my body".

"okay" he mutters, clicking his tongue and pen in unison. "and where exactly?"

"my arms, my neck.." he hums, pulling up your sleeve to check out what you told him. "also there are some on my fingers".

he bites into his inner cheek, much too close for the sake of your heart. he then glances up, examining your face through his glasses. "you haven't been getting any sleep" he snaps his fingers in your direction, letting go of you and turning back to his computer.

you respond with a dry chuckle, too tired to even try to add emotion. "and you know that how?"

"i can see it in your eyes, those dark circles aren't doing you justice" he sucks his teeth as he types out something. "what's your occupation?"

it isn't strange that he's curious, just answer the question.

you shake your head, mind all over the place. "i work in graphic design".

"ohhh" he doesn't exactly seem surprised. "freelance?"

you nod.

his eyebrows join together. "how does an editing job have you so tired?"

you let out a breath, too exhausted to allow a laugh. "it's a twenty four hour thing, if i'm awake at all times i function better".

"you're barely functioning now".

"well you're a doctor, you always tell people the obvious" you sigh, closing your eyes to try and recollect the many hours of sleep you lost. "i'm sure you aren't any better than me.."

"i'd be inclined to disagree".

you open one eye, staring at the pretty doctor who types away on his computer, catching you in his peripheral vision. (eyes you don't notice due to your lethargy making you less disposed to).

"when was the last time you slept?"

your throat goes dry, your senses reduced to the clear fatigue. you could simply lie, how would he even know? there's no way dr. qian is a psychic, that would be freaky, you're sure it would be nightmarish if that were the case.

there's an indecipherable glimmer in his eye, one that would scare you in regular circumstances where you were fully awake. it's as if he knows you're going to lie, your attempt at fib crawls down your throat before it can even escape your lips. "five days ago".

his reaction is serene, much too calm for your situation. "five days ago.. and how many hours did you sleep?"

your brain is foggy, you almost blurt the number 'six', but that's simply your default response when people ask. why would you ever lie to a doctor?..and the cute doctor especially?

you pause at the wave of your thoughts. what do you mean he's cute?

it's simply common sense, y/n. don't you like smart guys?

you would probably attribute it to your terrible sleep deprivation if it weren't true. you can't deny that the man before you is simply so attractive it should be illegal, he's absolutely gorgeous, how can a regular doctor be so beautiful? you might fall over, not from your lack of sleep, but from the eyes of the man who stares with such care.

"like.. three?"

your voice scratches as you recall the last time you 'slept', he hums, clicking his pen as he notes the information down. he turns in his rolling chair, scooting closer to you. "you mind if i see your hands?"

you can't even put up a fight, you're just about to give into your own exhaustion. you put your hands out for him, and dr. qian takes your hands in his own, examining the rashes which litter your fingers. he's close, so close, you can admire each of his facial features with amazing certainty. everything about him is beautiful, his cheeks, his eyes, the curves of his lips, it's all beautiful, it should be a crime for such a man to exist.

"that's an issue.. have you taken medication for sleep before?" you shake your head, and his fingers slip from yours.

"alright.. i'm going to put you on doxylamine" he mumbles, getting back to noting down your state. you begin scratching at the rashes on your fingers, and he snaps: "don't scratch it".

you move your hands apart rather quickly, his tone of voice intimidating you enough that you pause. he's much too convincing.

he points at you. "tonight, and this next month onward, you sleep before nine o'clock every single day".

you uncharacteristically snicker. "do you sleep before nine o'clock every single day?"

he raises an eyebrow, amused by the question. "i'm the doctor, i know best".

"of course".

"you'll end up dead if you keep going at this rate, take your medication, sleep before nine every day, then check back in with me next month".

"if i'm not available, can i reschedule?"

the question is simply meant to be comedic, you're just about to pass out, trying to sneak in a last minute joke before having to leave the office of the cute doctor. he leans his arm against the desk, smiling at you. "don't reschedule, i want to see you".

and you clearly weren't expecting those words, because your cheeks flare up.

see y/n? you do like smart guys.

[sleepyboywrites]

Creepypasta Fluff Headcanons for Trans!Male Reader Pt. 1 (Being a boy on his Period)

Because it's nearing that time again and being a boy on his period sucks ass. I'm making this to provide some comfort! For myself as a trans man and hopefully you too. This takes place with established and healthy relationships. Or as healthy as relationships with these characters come.

Tw: Possessive behavior, not necessarily wanted affection, rough contact, references to slight verbal abuse.

Eyeless Jack

• Run. Run right in the opposite direction if he hasn't eaten in a bit/is agitated. You will make him hungry due to his blood lusting demonic nature and he's not very friendly when he's hungry.

• You already aren't feeling great so if you go to him in that state anyways expect to be more uncomfortable albeit supported as a half-apology.

• If he has been satiated and is calm you may proceed to tell your demonic boyfriend that your cycle has begun and you are distressed and dysphoric about it.

• Cuddle bug. Like sits you directly into his lap and burries his face in your neck. Telling you words of encouragement. Think "I'm so sorry Baby boy." and "You're so strong y/n. One of the strongest men I know, I mean other men can't live through bleeding for 4-7 days on average."

• He's a med student so he knows the best ways to help with cramps and the physical pains that come with a menstrual cycle.

• He also gives you high testosterone foods and encourages you to wear one of his shirts and your boxers over your underwear to help with the dysphoria aspect. But he won't let you bind if your chest area gets sensitive.

• Tries to distract you and keep you as comfortable as possible

• Extremely protective during this time. He has a lot of self control but his instincts are still spiking under the surface screaming at him to lock you up/protect you. His emotional attachment to you paired with his constant hunger leave him clinging to your side and glaring at anyone else who approaches/gives you a weird look. Attacking anyone who hurts you emotionally or otherwise.

• Honestly a bit feral in a way akin to nesting.

• Insists on taking walks together once a day.

Laughing Jack

• A bit confused at first in his eyes he has erased any of your perceived biological imperfections.

• Hits you with the "But you are a boy" when you tell him you're feeling dysphoric and crying. "One who's very very important to me as well so please don't cry."

• Gives you your favorite candies and sweets

• Rubs your back when you're curled over in pain and sings you songs to help you calm down.

• Takes you to his amusement park and takes you on all your favorite rides and shows you all your favorite shows

•Always introducing the act as "Dedicated to the best boy in the world/my Favorite boy."

• Essentially his mentality is "I'm going to make sure this boy has so much fun he forgets the torment of having his brain stuck in the wrong body."

• And it fucking works. He has you laughing so hard that you can't tell where the stomach ache ends and the cramps begin.

• He likes to play "dress-up" in the sense where he has an array of gender affirming costumes and each day he insists you choose from the extensive array because even if you don't feel well at the moment doesn't mean you have to be reduced to a puddle of stained oversized clothes. He was always one for theatrics.

• If you say you really aren't up to dressing up he'll bring out an array of hoodies, baggy tees, shorts, sweats, or jeans instead.

• Genuinely just trying to distract and cheer you up

Ben Drowned

• Pretends to not know what you're talking about or why you're so upset. "Bro I assure you no one cares?" Followed by a long silence as he stares at you followed with "We all still view you the same, man."

• Then promptly refuses to leave your side

• Think anything from lurking in nearby electronics to straight up following you around everywhere.

• If a mission comes up he'll take you with him and make up some sort of excuse like he needs your help and your avatar is better abled than you physically. Alternatively if you have a mission he'll grab you and say he's coming with, before dragging you with him.

• Makes sure everyone is careful around you. No roughhousing or insults. Not at this time even if you protest.

• You had to break up a fight with the intent to maim once because Jeff had called you a "Pussy" in an attempt to agrivate you to change your mind about not being up for training today. Ben who had been lurking nearby lunged at him and you had to break the two apart.

• So much Gatorade. This boy makes you drink so much Gatorade.

• He also has a collection of snacks you normally crave and hoodies specifically for you in his closet.

• Let's you bind during your period until you don't take it off on time or act like you're in pain then he will take and hide it until it's passed.

• if you complain about dysphoria he'll roll his eyes as he drags you to his realm where your avatar already matches your gender and have you hang out there.

• Naptimes are mandatory once a day during this week because he knows it takes a lot out of you.

• Reminds you to take showers despite how much you hate having that reminder because you'll feel better afterwards and it helps with the cramps.

Jeff the Killer

• I promise he's trying. He's trying to keep things as normal as possible by being a jokey asshole dick like usual.

• Mans has your cycle engraved in his memory so on the first and worst day when you're at your grumpiest without fail he'll go "Can't you just give me a bloody smile god damn it?"

• You know he's joking and he knows he's joking but without fail you'll mock laugh at him, sock him in the nose, and walk away.

• One time you ran out of products and Jeff went to get them for you he called from the store and went, "Hey man, what size cunt do you have?" You shook your head, called him an asshole, and hung up.

• He tried to apologize by calling and texting and when you wouldn't answer he made you a care basket with hot wheels and various manly items such as boxers and button-ups/baggy tees. He also covered the pads wrapping in dinosaurs. And replacing "girl" with "boss" on the labels

• He's made a habit of getting you one of these everytime your supplies run out.

• Insists on more training and fighting because what better way to blow off steam and frustrations than a good ol fashioned fight.

• One time it went too far and the two of you ended up being patched up by EJ who scolded the two of you and said "If I catch you boys doing this again I will make sure Slender needs two new proxies."

• Always carrying ibuprofen and water. Always.

• Rubs your back if it hurts too much and treats you more gently.

•Will attack and maim anyone who misgenders you.

Homicidal Liu

• Liu is already constantly holding your hand as if he's scared you'll disappear, like the rest of good in his life, so you two are fairly well synced and sometimes you swear he can read your mind.

• You keep him calm, in a way that reminds him of before the incident because of this he knows all of you, obsessed over it and memorized it, including when your cycle is, it's linked in his internal clock.

• You'll often wake up to a warm bath and clean comfortable clothes if your cycle started during the night. While you bathe he'd change and wash the sheets then bring you breakfast to eat together after you finish.

• Tells you he's sorry that your body doesn't match your mind as he nuzzles into your neck. Snaking his arms around your waist and engulfing you in his weight. Sometimes uncomfortable but you know by now if you try to pry him off he'll only tighten his grip and agressively albeit incoherently mumble

•calm and supportive/protective and possessive are how his alters have always treated you. Both affectionate sometimes overly so. Heightened during your cycle due to you being in a more easily hurt and in a distressed mood.

• Think overlap of Liu and Sully's voices, "What did you just say to my boyfriend?" Followed by "You'll pay for that." should anyone so much as look at you funny in a way that'll make you feel worse about your current state of being.

• Said anyone would be carried away in a body bag. <333

• Gets you trinkets as well as anything you may be craving.

• Owns heating pads as well as cold pads at his disposal to help with cramps.

• Water/Gatorade and a variety of pain meds on hand. Always.

• Doesn't want to leave your side out of fear of you running into a less than kind individual without him there to support you and maim your instigator.

Ticci Toby

• You'd have to go to him about it because his ass doesn't know. His brain is on fifteen different topics at any given time. You occupy at least five but he doesn't have much memorized.

• He'll know that something is bothering you but won't know what unless you blatantly tell him.

• Once you do he'll probably try his best to limit his roughness/aggression and increase softer touches/tones.

• Much more pet names a lot less insults. IE: Instead of calling you a dumbass he'll call you pretty boy.

• If he gets frustrated expect said pet name to be said with aggression.

• He owns several weighted blankets he'd offer you to use on top of his own body weight when he flops onto you, should you want that affection. Though he still will with a piss-poor excuse of an apology if you don't and he does. Which he does frequently because you're one of the only people whose touch is gentle with him.

• Bad about carrying liquid. Good about carrying meds. So if you need an ibuprofen he will give you one but you'll need to either dry swallow or find liquid elsewhere.

• Also not the best at comforting you through your pain seeing as he doesn't experience that kind of thing himself. At least not in the same way, so he doesn't know what to do nor what you expect from him.

• He'll pick you up something he thinks you'll like when he goes out during this time but that ranges from "really sweet" to "the thought is what counts." Because sometimes his thoughts cross paths one too many times and he accidentally got you cleaning supplies instead of menstrual or edible treats.

• Think: "This rock made me think of you. Do you like [insert candy], because I grabbed some on my last mission. I meant to grab you strawberry mentos, because of a song I heard that made me think of you but accidentally grabbed menthol instead, I don't know how you'd use it but here."

• Essentially when you tell him he'll say "Okay, don't push yourself too hard." And then continue fairly normally while attempting to be nice.

Brian/Hoodie

• Initial reaction depends entirely on where/how you tell him. If you tell him in public in front of others he will simply look at you and say, "...okay".

• If you tell him in private he'll stare at you for a moment and then he'll give you a few well-thought-out sentences on how he'll be there to help and how you aren't any less of a man.

• If you give him a note or written thing however he will build you a cathedral out of paragraphs telling you that he'll do what he can to make you feel as good as you can, how this aspect doesn't change who you are not how you're received, and everything masculine and in general he adores about you.

• Always has water, meds, and a spare hoodie for you in close proximity.

• Doesn't treat you any differently in public or private.

• Very sweet most of the time, including this, minus his aggressive outbursts.

• It's very much the same old same old. He'll still melt into you and expect the same he'll still yell and throw things when he's having a n outburst.

• He'll still treat you as softly and as roughly as he does the rest of the time.

• Will get you your cravings if you ask but he won't really if he's unprompted.

• He may ask for your hand more often if he notices your distress/squeeze your hand more often.

• Though most of the time he won't he's too busy in his head or in what he's doing.

• Or alternatively trying to figure out what is in your head and what you're doing but not necessarily how you're feeling.

• He cares about you he's just not the possessive type in the way that leads to outwardly or intense displays of affection. Though if you even hinted to not wanting to be around people on your cycle you wouldn't be. He would hole up.with you until its over and be reluctant to let you go.

Tim/Masky

• Throws his reeking bomber jacket at you with a raised eyebrow. "Things like this provide some comfort right?"

• Cocky Bastard knows it's in his god-damn calendar and he likes to inadvertently let you know he knows.

• IE: throwing one of your favorite snacks at your head while you train or work.

• Bringing you water, Gatorade, and medicine to you when all you did is hold your head in your hands for five seconds.

• It's become almost a game of whether or not you can get away without him knowing.

• Mocking you lightly if you ask for help with anything. If you need supplies, or would like one of your cravings, or would like a heating pad anything. And you say, "Hey could you get me [blank] if you don't mind?" Or anything along those lines you will be met with an, "Ah ah ah pretty boy, say pretty please." When he returns with what you asked for dangling it out of reach.

• Also always asks for a kiss as payment for being your knight in shiny armor. When he gets you anything. One time he bought you a bag of chocolate kisses you were craving and when he asked you threw a chocolate at him and he chased and tackled you until you gave him an actual one.

• Deliberately and as a rule of thumb, Masky shows you a playful and cocky side he's created because you respond to it best.

• He rarely gets angry at you but when he does that anger translates to avoiding you and not speaking to you should he be in this state he will give you nothing, not even a hug during this.

• If you tend to be touch-starved during he'll be less likely to fall into that angry rut but if you're touch-adverse he's more likely to get into angry ruts because he'll take it as the front he crafted for you not being enough or attractive to you.

• Despite the fact it has nothing to do him and has everything to do with you being in physical and psychological pain.

[ragnarokhound]

hey i saw ur tag on the executive dysfunction post where u said ur meds allow u to punch a hole in the wall and access the internal well of motivation or some such. can i ask how that works as in can you just do things after that?? you like have a task you gotta do and you up and do it? sorry to break into ur askbox like this i was just very curious because my executives do not function

Hi! Sure, I don't mind :)

Short answer: yes. :') I take my meds in the morning, and over the course of the day, it is much easier for me to add tasks to my mental list and then knock them down like the most dutiful Sim in the world. I forget to do things sometimes still - but those are usually due to other barriers like 'I would like to schedule this appointment, but I'm at work right now so I can't do that yet.' and then hours later I will have forgotten that I needed to do that. WHOOPSIES. Not necessarily an ADHD problem, just an average human one.

Also, the meds make it easier to access the well. That doesn't mean I always CHOOSE to use the well, haha. Sometimes I am just sooo comfy in bed and think 'i should get up. But I bet I could get away with another 25 minutes of dozing UwU' and then after my alarm goes off because my 25 minutes are up, I'm cursing my past self for being a hedonistic sloth because I really do have to get up now or I'll be late. I CAN choose correctly. That doesn't mean I do.

Long answer getting into the nitty gritty of my ADHD med journey below the cut:

So just remember that I'm not a doctor, I'm a stranger on the internet, so I don't know quite how it works, and not all medication will work the same for everyone. Executive function is huge for folks with ADHD, but it might be something else! ADHD often shakes hands with other conditions.

BUT - in my experience, I was diagnosed with combined ADHD (both the hyperactive bouncy kind and the laser focus, sit still for 12 hours doing one thing kind). A lot of my own executive function problems stemmed from not being able to choose what I hyper focused on, for how long, or if I even could. :')

There's a few different medications available to choose from once you get a diagnosis, including a fast-acting stimulant and a slow-release stimulant. The one that helps me is a slow-release - I take it in the morning, and it'll start to kick in after an hour and gives me a steady stream over the course of the day, wearing off about 8 hours later.

People with ADHD don't make as much dopamine on their own, and stimulants help your brain produce more of it. If you find yourself feeling calm and more able to focus or task-switch after drinking coffee, or soda, or other uppers, you might be self-medicating, and a diagnosis and meds may be helpful (but definitely talk that out with a doctor).

It took a while for my "storage" of dopamine to build up, and it wasn't pretty the whole journey there. There were multiple days in a row that I had to force myself to eat because the meds suppress appetite, so it was easy to skip meals I shouldn't have. (I embraced snacking over the whole day as a solution until my humors were balanced and I'd built up the habit of prepping a lunch hours beforehand lol)

But the benefits were immediate. Some things are normal, and habits are something every human has to figure out how to build regardless of whether you make enough dopamine - but I was immediately calmer. I would think 'i need to take out the garbage. I will do that now' and I would, in fact, take out the garbage? I'd just get up? And do it??? It was that easy. I find it much easier to stop in the middle of what I'm doing without getting annoyed, and to task switch without it completely breaking my flow. I'm CAPABLE of task switching at all. It's easier to remember that mug I left in the microwave. I can sit or work in silence and it's fine, I don't need music to be playing in the background to focus.

I still have to convince myself sometimes to do things when my executives don't want to function - a big coping skill I like is giving myself a crossroads moment. If I'm reading, the crossroads moment is at the end of a chapter, or a scene break. If I'm playing a game the crossroads moment is when I lost or won a round, or when I completed the task I was in the middle of, or reached a safe area.

At a crossroads moment, you can either choose to keep doing whatever you're doing, or do something else. It's why being on Tumblr and other social media is difficult to get away from, because there is no natural stopping point if you haven't turned off infinite scrolling. If that's hard for you, see if you can change your dash settings to only load a page/set number of posts at a time. You'll get a crossroads moment every time you reach the bottom of that page.

This is all my own experience with ADHD and stimulants, so again, I encourage you to think about whether this sounds like you and bring it up to a doctor if it's having a really big impact on your life.

I hope this helps! I also suggest this video from Jaiden Animations - she talks about her own experience getting an ADHD diagnosis, and funnily enough, this video dropped within the same week as I got mine, haha.

[seiko-e]

jjk angst/ fluff

Gojo satoru

Sitting on the couch with your child in hand, you remember the day how your husband first confessed his feelings for you…. “WHERE'S YOUR BRAINNNN, THE SIX EYES WHERE IS ITT, HOW COME ITS NOT WORKING!!!!” “Maybe because YOUR SO NOISY AND PLUS, THE FRKN CLAW MACHINE IS BROKEN, ITS DIFFICULT TO PREDICT ITS MOVEMENTS!!!!” “Gee, anyways spit it out, what exactly is your purpose in inviting me to an arcade, pls dont tell me your gonna make me carry all of the plushies you've won” “Shh i'm gonna tell you once i figure out this machines timing and win the plushy, so do me a favor of silencing that cute mouth” “HAH! And what if i don't~?” He wins a plushy and turns to hand the plushy and leans closer to you “I will put my tongue inside, oh, and i don’t mean inside your mouth~”he chuckles Your face immediately got red as your brain already went to something spicy And after that, you got only one plushy while satoru got a big ass slap on his face You remember lots of sweet memories with you and your husband in the past, knowing that you can never create new once with him. Still, you hope he also remembers your sweet past and would guide you, now that you're alone with your child in the land of the living…

Geto suguru

You stand in front a grave of a person whom is dear to you, as it rains of sorrow… “Hey wait up!” “HURRYYY OR IT MIGHT DIE” The girl huffs and gasps for air as she runs as fast as she can. Pass the rocky streams and trees,is a small dark cave, The boy lits up a stick to use as a torch, inside the cave is a kitten who seems to be injured, Its other eye was missing, right ear bleeding, half of the fur was filled with red. “You have the med kit right? Go and patch the kitten up, i'm not really good with patching up so i'll stay here and keep in watch for any danger or predators, got it? The girl nods in response ands starts to patch the kitten up, but then realized, the kitten isn't breathing anymore The girls heartbeat spikes and starts thumping in nervousness “Um…suguru….the-” “Y/N!!!” Before the curse can devour you, the boy is able to grab your arm, suguru dragging the girl away from the curse as the girl quickly stands up and the two run… Several weeks has passed since that incident, both still can't forget and would even joke on how much of a moron the other is “Hahahah if it wasn't for your idiocy, we wouldn't have to run like foxes” “OH YEAH?? WELL IF SOMEONE HAVE JUST LET THE KITTEN BE, WE COULD HAVE JUST PLAYED IN THE PLAYGROUND LIKE WE ALWAYS DO” The boy laughs as the girl pouts “At Least that was memorable, creating cool memories is our top priority right?, after all…you'll move to america in a few days” “Yeah…we got 4 days left…” “Then i wish america doesn't have monsters like the once we encounter here, that way, i wouldn't have to worry about you being in danger” “Yeah, i wish so too.., suguru, promise you won’t get eaten by those monsters, ok?” “In that case, you must also promise to stay away from danger” “Ok! I promise” “Promise” The rain starts to cry louder, you dropped you umbrella on the ground as you kneel down in front of suguru’s grave, clothes drenched in the rain and puddle. “At least you fulfilled your promise of not getting eaten and ate them instead….”you exclaimed with a cracked, low voice.

that's all for the jjk fandom as my reward for gaining 100 likes achievement, feel free to request

[planstransamanacanalpanema]

I've now been off my ADHD meds for 3ish months. I had to switch doctors because my old one couldn't prescribe testosterone, so I was just casually in menopause for 3 months. My new doctor can't prescribe adderall, even with a diagnosis and the fact that I've been on it for 3 years, because they controlled substances policy doesn't allow it.

At first I thought maybe it wouldn't be that bad. I've made a lot of progress and have developed a lot of good adaptations and coping skills. The first few weeks weren't bad, but I started realizing little things had stopped happening. I was losing time again, despite having clocks in every room. I wasn't taking my other meds even with the med dispenser on the wall by my door to remind me to take them when I left in the morning. Turns out it doesn't matter if you have these tools if your brain doesn't want to use them.

I thought maybe running would help. I'd wake up and go for a run and feel pretty good. I'd sit down to do work, still couldn't focus, so I'd get up and go for anrun again. When I got back be pretty tired, so I'd take a nap, wake up, and then still get pretty antsy sitting at my desk to work- so I'd go for a run again. After a few days of this my feet started bleeding. I stopped after a few more days of this, not because of not having skin anymore, but because I also screwed up my knee and couldn't bend it or really bear weight.

I was exploring new foods and had discovered a few that moved off my shit list and onto my favorite foods list. I now cannot eat these again. I was cooking good meals for myself, getting pretty good at meal prepping. Also no longer happening. I'm either barely eating, barely drinking water, or eating far too much of things that as a type one diabetic are legitimately killing me, albeit slowly.

Somewhere between having no emotional regulation, forgetting to take my antidepressants and my levothyroxine, and an otherwise only moderately upsetting life event, I sort of lost it. I started having panic attacks in parking lots, driving through intersections, looking into my living room when the lights were off, and reading about nursing homes. When you can't turn your emotions down or remember to use the calm down techniques you got pretty good at or stop thinking about that time you watched a bunch of people die in a pandemic, the next logical step for your brain is to sort of just set itself on fire.

I stopped sleeping. I'll lay in bed and have to find the answer to the question that pops into my head, or put the thing in its designated spot, or fix the thing I decided I would fix tomorrow. I've been averaging 5 hours a night, and it's usually staggered across interruptions that demand resolution.

And I keep feeling the time I'm losing. I decided to go visit my grandma. I decided to go on a hike. I decided to call a family member. It's been 6 weeks. I swear I'm still going to, because every time I remember at 3 in the morning, I get this feeling like time is leeching from my bones and taking moments I would cherish with them. There is no good way to describe how abjectly terrifying this is.

I figured when I had to stop my adhd meds, it wouldn't be the end of the world. After careful reassessment, I've come to the conclusion that that was bullocks.

Sometimes people take medication recreationally. Surely that doesn't make that medication non-therapeutic to everyone, right?

Right?

[focksey]

I've suffered abuses since I was young and even up to now. Different ways and different people but still not ok and awful things. But not always bad and of course they wouldn't think of it as abusive but y'all would take my side if you knew what it was. Plus being autistic and having ADHD and probably CPTSD it makes everything much worse.

Being that kid since day one that's always been wrong or stupid or doing shit nobody cared about and people thought was evil or dark or weird or bad or stupid etc. Never could do anything right. And people wonder why I react in ways that I do. Its because I'm a product of my childhood and if you're gonna do and say bad things to me I don't want you to wonder why I'm so "difficult" when a lot of shit is me not letting you get away with your behavior and all of a sudden I'm the bad guy.

Anyway.. nothing is even going on right now. Its just hit me all at once that my life has been shitty and I'm always hoping that the universe has a way to make my brain feel less weird and I might have a life that doesn't suck and I don't want to sleep away and forget about. Maybe I will get the right meds that make my brain work more normal and maybe I will not feel like such an alien. But autism is still gonna be there so I still won't react normal or feel exactly normal. Is what it is.

[oriun]

Aside from trying different meds etc, things I do at work in the office:

- Keeping screen brightness and contrast as low as I can

- I use one of the Windows colour blindness filters (in the accessibility settings), I forget which one, but it makes colours less bright/saturated and that's made a big difference

- Dark mode. My workplace doesn't allow browser add ons so I can't do anything about that, and none of the software we use has dark mode, but things like folders at least I can make dark

- Ear plugs. I'm using Loop atm and I've also tried another brand called Vibes I think. I like that I can still engage in conversation and the Loop ones I have come with a little attachment to block even more noise if I need to

- Filter sunglasses if I'm really struggling with light (mine are Migralens but there are other brands suitable for indoor use)

- If there's any side office or space with a computer they could let you hide in on bad days that's great

- I don't do this but a coworker is getting some panels behind/above her monitors to avoid screen glare from the lights above

- Making sure things are at the right height so my neck is comfortable

- Obviously if it's an option, the flexibility of working from home when needed makes it a lot more manageable in terms of controlling your environment

- Taking regular breaks just to go to the bathroom to have a couple quiet minutes with my eyes closed

- If you can get a DSE assessment from someone who knows what they're assessing and not just filling in a checklist form, they will often have suggestions you wouldn't have thought of

- And making coworkers and management aware that I have chronic migraines and I might experience some limitations on bad days has also been great. I'm lucky people are understanding so they'll try not to be loud around me, maybe close some blinds or turn off some lights, and they'll sort of leave me alone a bit more if they know I'm running low on brain power

Does anyone have tips for frequent migraines? I have a prescription but it doesn't do much and lately they're not only pretty regular but pretty painful. My normal go to is a dark quiet room but often I have to work through them now, so tips that I could use while at the office would be the most helpful!

[slasherlouvre]

thinking about the essay really messed/is messing me up, having mean thoughts about myself and that inevitably bleeds over into my usually supposed to be comforting daydreams and fantasies

my brain loves to tell me that Bo would think I'm pathetic and a waste of resources lmao

that Vincent would either not think I'm pretty at all or grow bored with me

and Lester also just lose interest (people always do)

+ just general annoyance/irritation about me doing hardly anything and needing meds

I'm tired and one have like 1.5 hours left

This could not be further from the truth, love. I'm gonna be a real hypocrite right now because I have the same exact bitch of a brain, but:

Open for some Sinclair self-love reminders 🖤

Bo thinking you're pathetic??? A waste of resources???? That's never even once crossed his mind. He'd literally kill someone if he ever heard that being said to you, hell, he'd even die for you without a second thought because you mean that much to him.

Expectations can be unfair, and life can be overwhelming- no one knows that better than him, so he also knows how admirable you truly are.

You're nothing like him. You're strong, and you've kept your kindness despite it all. Maybe you've stumbled along the way, been shoved around- everyone has, often even, but you've never completely given up. You're resilient in a way he never could be. And he knows you struggle to see that, the same way he struggles to see anything worthwhile in himself.

Sometimes it's hard for him to be verbally vulnerable with you, he's working on it, but he loves you. I mean he really loves you. He could spend his whole damn life trying to put what you mean to him in words, and it still wouldn't be enough.

Please treat yourself with the same loving patience you've always had for him. You're not pathetic for being tired and wanting someone to lean on. You're not pathetic for doing things at your own pace. You're not a waste for just existing. You're human and he is so proud of you. If he has to remind you every damn day of that, he will. Don't ever forget how far you've come; it's okay to be proud of yourself too. You should be proud of yourself.

•

Do you grow bored with the moon because you see it every night? Is it no longer beautiful on the nth time you look up to admire it?? Do you not consider all phases of the moon to be beautiful despite their distinctions???

To Vincent you are, and always will be, the most beautiful part of his life.

To have you choose to remain at his side evermore is a gift, not a boredom,- and certainly not a burden. Can't you see that your constancy only makes you cherished all the more?? That losing you would bring about the death of what you salvaged of his heart? He can no longer live without your light now that you've rooted yourself so deeply within him.

You are physically beautiful too. You are. There has never been a moment in which he's ever thought otherwise. It's simply not possible.

In a way, he understands how you feel. It took him a very long time to believe you genuinely loved him and were still attracted to him after seeing the real him beneath the mask. But unlike his prominently marred visage, he doesn't actually see any of the 'flaws' you think you have. He just sees you.

And you are what he loves. It's not possible for you to be anything less.

Please be kinder to yourself when you look in the mirror. If you have to, look at yourself with his eyes in mind. Don't treat what he loves so cruelly, especially when you'd never fault him if he were to have the same traits.

What you look like doesn't make you unlovable; beauty has never been singular in its definition despite what anyone may try to make you think. You've proven it yourself by loving him, haven't you?

•

Lester losing interest in you?? He'd honestly laugh loudly thinking it was a joke. And it is! The thought itself is ridiculous, don't you see?

People lose interest, but those people aren't Lester Sinclair.

He's been torn down with mean words and disgusted looks more times than he can count ever since he was a kid, so he never actually believed you'd choose him. But you did. And now you're the reason he can say it was all worth it in the end. A love like this only comes once in a lifetime as they say, and he was fully expecting it not to be in his lifetime. So it's no wonder he looks at you like you've personally hung the moon and the stars in the sky.

He could never lose interest in the love of his life; of the reason for his happiness, and favorite thing to come home to.

You do far more than you think, but even so, your worth is not measured by your productivity- or anyone's skewed social constructs. He's a roadkill driver, there are plenty of people who consider his work 'hardly anything'. Hell, they take one look at him and label him 'bottom of the barrel'. So he knows more than anyone that falling short of what others unfairly deem 'efficient' and 'deserving' doesn't make you meaningless. You taught him that, afterall.

There's nothing wrong with needing medication for your mental health; it's normal and important to take care of your brain just like any other part of your body when it needs some help. It doesn't make you any less of a person, and he could never be irritated or annoyed with you for it- he's far too admiring of you to be anything else, and he wants you to have the support you need.

You've always been understanding of him, so please give yourself that same gentle understanding. Is he stupid for making mistakes? A good-for-nothing because someone else said so? Pathetic for having bad dsys? No. And neither are you.

[ox1-lovesick]

📨 incoming ask game !

post a snippet of your drafts (atleast 5 if you have more) and let your readers guess what it's about !

This ask really found me at the worst time i literally have 96 drafts 💀 wips list maybe 🙀🙀🙀 there's only a handful of them but here you go, i may scrap these or completely change them so just keep that in mind y'know 💀 I HAVE MORE ENHYPEN STUFF BUT I WAS PLANNING TO DO SOMETHING ELSE SO I CAN'T SPOIL THEM YET

✧ REACTIONS

( i didn't include snippets in these cause it doesn't make sense without context 😭💀)

001: tubatu - you forget their pet's birthday

002: enhypen - you are taller than them

ㅤ

003: introducing tubatu to your family

✧ HEADCANNONS

001: txt as cliché romance tropes

── "you always cheat off me but you don't know my name?" you smiled at him, his eyes almost dissapearing as a guilty smile beamed back at you. "no wonder we're both taking the make-up test," he chuckled softly "do you maybe want to study together? i have no idea what i'm doing" his eyes trained on the marbled tiles below you "i don't have a clue either, i'm sure we'll figure it out though"

002: txt as tragic romance tropes

── maybe your mother was right, kai was indeed so perfect he didn't seem real. maybe her tears every time you mentioned him were off happiness—happy that her child had found someone who loves and appreciates them despite their circumstances. he was real, you felt it. the way he talked to you, touched you, kissed you. you could see his love clear as day—but schizophrenics who haven't taken their meds in weeks don't always see the truth, do they?

003: txt and how they show their love for you

── he takes care of you; throwing an extra jacket over his shoulder when you go out on a particularly cold day, scolding you as you shiver — with love of course, for not listening to him when he told you to cover up.

ㅤ

✧ TIMESTAMPS

001: [4:27 am] - c.bg

── any normal person would be sound asleep asleep right now, after all, 4 in the morning was an unusual hour to be up at when you had work in the morning. you, like a normal person, did have work in the morning, however sitting next to you, was the most abnormal person you've ever known. he too, like a normal person had a full schedule that would start in about an hour; instead opting to keep you and himself up throughout the night rather than getting the sleep he'd need to function throughout the day.

ㅤ

✧ FICS

(starting off with the tyun fic cause @yv17 will bite my head off 🫶)

001: Cash Or Card? - K.TH

002: Bookworm - C.BG

── be it early in the morning when he thought the others were still sleeping, or late at night when his eyes are struggling to stay open, he would always show up infront of you. it had become a force of habit at this point, never fully conscious or aware of his thoughts when he made the decision to grab another drink or pass by, his feet just carried him back to you sooner or later. dimples poking out of his cheeks, face dusted in red as he smiled, a smile he wore only when he knew he would see you. the same smile you searched for everyday without fail, your own lips curling at the sight

── "you can barely keep your eyes open y/n." beomgyu placed a gentle hand on your back, his gaze softening seeing your droopy eyelids. as adorable as you looked to him right now, he could see you were exhausted, anyone could— the way your head hung low enough to practically fall off your neck, your eyes red and bloodshot from the hours of forcing them awake to read one last paragraph, and your sleep schedule practically non existent due to you devouring one book after the other to store the information somewhere there in your brain.

003: Strings - C.BG

── "can a best friend not call another best friend over to sing them love songs anymore?" he smiled, his eyebrows furrowed.

004: Mistletoe - K.TH

── "this is all my fault, i'm so sorry" taehyun took your hand in his, caressing it softly "if i knew you were allergic i never would have hung the mistletoe, i wanted to kiss you, not send you to the hospital"

005: Gingerbread - Y.JW

── "maybe if you actually followed the recipe you wouldn't make a disaster every time" jungwon snickered, the piping bag clutched tightly in his hand—skillfully swirling buttercream roses onto the side of your gingerbread house

[stonedregulus]

i've always wanted to be you.

a writer. i mean i am. but the small fics, the ones people read and forget. i want to write the fics that people wish happened to them. the ones they lay awake at night thinking about. the ones who's characters live and love like there's no tomorrow. i want to be you and write the fics that people could spend hours happily ranting about. the ones who set their alarm clocks for the next chapter. i've always wanted to be you.

and i know that you have been through hell and back and we as just censored audience will never be able to fully understand the shit you've been through. so of course "being you" would be undermining everything you've been through. but i guess what i mean is, i want your writing brain. that doesn't make sense, i know.

im just stupidly dragging this on but that's what i've thought of you ollie. your words saved me when i was standing on the edge. i was and still am a puppet reaching towards death, longing for it even but still attached to reality through a single string. and im not lying when a part of that string is you, liv, emma, and yaz.

promise im not jealous. i love you and pray for your health. i wish you all the happiness in the world and the freedom to do whatever your heart desires without any burden.

anyway lmaoooo (insert meme of kid banging his head with a basketball) drunk words are sober thoughts???

i have been having a really bad day. well a couple of really bad weeks. those weeks where nothing all that significant happens but by the end of it you’re wondering who the hell you even are and if it’s worth it all? my doctor switched my anxiety meds because what i’m on right now isn’t enough it’s not working. but i haven’t been able to go get the new script and i need to. badly.

i’m just not in a good place mentally.

anyways, not that you needed to know all that, but the reason i’m saying it is because this made me extremely emotional. i want you to know how grateful i am that you took the time to say this to me. i think sometimes i’m very good at wallowing in my self pity, and i just need some perspective to move on.

anyways, thank you. i’m sorry for all the rambling. but i want you to know that you matter. your small fic matters. it’s important to me. you, and all the other small fic writers out there are the backbone of this fandom. thank you for writing and keeping the fandom alive.

[thatgoblin]

RE Boys x Neurodivergent Reader

A/N I had OT tonight at work so I couldn't work on my fic, but here's some fun headcannons for ya'll. Also just hit 400 followers, so whoo!

Carlos

He'd be glad to hang out with you. He figures out your special interest and always brings it up.

You need his tactical vest to pet? Cool, go right ahead, Carlos doesn't mind that you stand behind him petting his back.

In the mess hall, he takes whatever you don't want to eat without making a fuss. He knows you can't do certain foods and will give you some of his to trade.

You can't handle certain colognes or soaps, so he makes sure to avoid those. Usually he smells nice anyways.

On more that one occasion he has done gentle bear hugs when he could tell you were getting upset and needed that pressing. The guy is big so it's perfect.

You need to remember to take meds? Carlos will have an extra dose on hand no matter what so you can't forget or skip them.

The best part is no matter your tics, he doesn't react to them unless you need help keeping safe. Even then, if your tic tries to make you slam your head in the table, he will put his hand on your forehead till it's over.

You're being over stimulated? He'll be there to help you through it. He's very hands on to help you stay grounded as well as just giving you space from things and people or even covering your ears to help muffle the noise a bit.

He knows that you have a hard time with some chores, while he doesn't do them for you, he's there to help with them as you do them.

Having a bad pain day? Carlos will be getting your favorite drink as well as a heating pad or ice pack and making you comfortable where you want to be.

Carlos knows that he won't ever understand you completely, but is fine with it so long as you two are friends/partners.

Leon (RE 2)

He's very by the book. As soon as he finds out your disorder/condition, he is learning everything he can.

You need special medical items? Leon knows exactly where to get them and will for you, insurance be damned.

If there's not an item that is made, but one you need (IE a pressure swing) then he is Leon the Builder.

Sometimes you go nonverbal and that's okay. Leon and you have managed to almost understand each other without talking at all. A look or a point and the meaning is understood.

He's got back ups of back ups of anything you need, headphones, earplugs, sunglasses, two extra shirts that are the exact same as your favorite shirt that you've worn in, even gloves for when things need to be touched and you can't because T E X T U R E.

Leon has a habit of perching his chin on your head when your sitting. Mostly because he knows it's your favorite pressure point.

Sometimes it gets scary for you both when you just suddenly are in a bad mood and your brain says 'don't,' but your hands say 'hit yourself in the face.' He worries he'll accidentally hurt you while trying to help you.

He knows your routine and does his best to stick to it. If it gets out of whack then things can unravel quickly.

Same goes for planning things. If you plan to do something, the plans can't be changed. Especially if it was done far in advance.

At the end of the day though, you both care for one another and enjoy each other's company. There's not a thing you would change.

Chris

He's figured it out before you even tell him. Years of work and research into Umbrella kinda spilled over to other fields of research and he has a knack for getting along with neurodivergent people really well.

If you need to talk a lot, he won't stop you. Chris will be the silent rock so you can just chatter away to your heart's content.

He can also spend time with you in silence, it doesn't bother him a bit.

You love to steal his big coats because they're so big and heavy and smell like him and that combination is the best way for you to calm down if you're on the verge of a spiral or just need that grounding.

Chris has reflexes that rival Spiderman, so your self h*rm tics have met their match.

You wanna feel like you have the weight of 700 weighted blankets on you? Chris is roughly the same weight and will happily just lay on you for a few minutes.

It's one of those days where you just can't wear shirts because your skin has decided to be painfully sensitive on your sides. Just your sides. Chris will make sure no one sees you and covers for you at the door in need be, afab or amab alike.

Chris has an office that is much like those of old professors with the leather chair and oak desk, books on the walls, and a globe next to a wall where he had red pins and notes posted over a giant cork board. Then there's your box next to his desk.

It was once a box for a fridge, but you had cut it in half. One half was in Chris's office, the other in the screened in back porch. Sometimes you want to be around Chris without 'existing' so you lay down with your upper half in the box as you close your eyes while your legs stick out.

He's really good at minding your legs when he's working and you're in there. If someone comes over and sees it, he makes sure they don't ask about it. It's your box for not existing but still being with him.

Sometimes you just need him to hold your chest. The man has big hands and will hold you however you want.

While you two aren't the most love dovey two around, you do care for one another and show it in how you interact with one another and for you two, that's enough.

[thefloatingstone]

hello cpuff, how are you?

i have an adhd related question and need your advise

i would like to try a medical treatment for my adhd again but im very traumatised by my first time. it was apparently a small dosage and the side effects were horrible (i do believe my therapist was only for children too)

how did you find out what treatment was right? do you need a treatment to get by in everyday life?

im going to university soon and i dont want to fuck it up.. :')

thanks in advance!

Hey Toast!

I'm in a unique position in that despite being born in the late 80s and growing up in the early 90s, my dad is a doctor and my mom was heavily involved in his medical practice. So I was very lucky to be diagnosed with "Type 2 ADD" from the age of 4 or 5. My mom did have me on Ritalin as a small child but I wasn't on the medication long although she can't remember why she discontinued it. But something wasn't working for me.

As an adult, my ADHD is a type that is high functioning for most things, thankfully. I still have big struggles, and as a result I developed the fun little splinter skill called "Anxiety disorder" to counteract the forgetfulness, procrastination, avoidance and general executive dysfunction. It works for a lot of things... but it's still an anxiety disorder which has its OWN symptoms and detriments.

As a result, I'm not on any ADHD specific medication. Although most of them are illegal here anyway due to them being an amphetamine. The medication I am on is for the anxiety disorder which became necessary after some extremely traumatic events in 2018 when I hit my limit.

When I was in matric, I self medicated with vasts amount of diet coke (it was the caffeine which helped focus). I still have an extremely difficult time with studying if it's a subject I don't find interesting as my brain will heavily resist the study period itself and will "dump" any information I learn during studying because it doesn't produce dopamine and so the brain function considers it "useless information." (this isn't me trying to be cute. This is a gross simplification of what actually happens cognitively).

At the moment I am trying to study for the ILETS exam and I admit it's very difficult and I am avoiding it a lot.

I am using a star sticker reward system which has worked for me in the past. (it doesn't seem as effective these days but it used to work very well). And I try and limit how much I study to extremely short sessions more frequently than doing long study periods. I also do a lot more cramming the day before as a result of how my brain treats "undesired information".

The flip side is I remember random trivia and knowledge in subjects I enjoy for literally decades...

Anyway I'm rambling.

I don't know if it would be beneficial to you and your ADHD make-up, but I find that behavioural therapy, reward systems and structure work better for me in lieu of medication. (outside of the anxiety meds to manage anxiety symptoms. The medication does not take away the functional anxiety that counter-acts the ADHD luckily). The only downside here is that BECAUSE of my ADHD I struggle to do a lot of the therapy practice specifically designed to help manage my symptoms. (but I am not in a place where I can find ADHD specific therapy to help me with how my brain functions). But I DO find repetitive practice, structure, and breaking things down into the tiniest most basic tasks does help a TINY bit.

That, and doing more than one thing at once. THAT one is a winner for me. Cooking supper? Put on a video to listen to as I do so. Driving? podcast time. Working? youtube tutorial time. reading? music time. (just no lyrics). Jogging? More podcasts/audiobooks.

As well as different methods of processing information. If you can, try to find places that present the material you want to learn in a unique manner. I'm currently 1/4 through the first Dune novel because a DJ made a 23 hour video putting the audiobook to his own lo-fi mixes and trippy visuals. Which resulted in me very quickly memorising a LOT of names and world building which I'm normally terrible at. I tend to internalise information best through video than reading. But when I do read a physical book, audio input is a big must as my brain gets bored otherwise and I lose focus.

My friends with ADHD have great success with journalling in bullet point although it doesn't work for me. (I start, it works great, then I stop doing it and forget it was a working method.) They found breaking things down into bullet points helps them bring order to their thoughts. Same with calendars.

Use multi coloured pens. This is a BIG help. Just writing every paragraph in a new colour helps so much for re-reading notes and stops you skimming a huge text wall.

Speak to your lecturer and make them aware that you will doodle in class while they lecture, and that you are doing so because it stops you from getting visually distracted while they lecture and helps you process audio better. Maybe they won't care but it's best just to let them know "I'm not ignoring you so don't call me out."

I hope some of this can be helpful in SOME way... I still struggle a lot so I don't have a lot of answers because I mostly feel like I don't function well at all. And what I do function with I only function with out of dumb luck.

I know I have adult mutuals who also have ADHD so maybe some of them can help chime in with more tips. (I won't tag them because I don't want to call them out without permission)

[rhysintherain]

Tips for writing final papers with ADHD

Get a writing helper app for you word processor that gives you daily word goals

I use Writing Habit for Google docs, which lets you set a completion date and final word count, then tells you how much to write per day

Set a morning alarm, even if you don't need to be anywhere that day. Doesn't have to be early, just earlier than you would sleep in if you didn't need to write that day

Once you've got time to write, set a 30 minute timer. Reset it every time it goes off. Every time the alarm goes off you need to write

Doesn't have to be the full half hour; if you feel like you've made some progress you can wander off and do something else, just come back and write when the timer goes off

Take several 1 hour breaks throughout the day. Don't forget to eat. Set 1 hour alarms for these breaks so time blindness doesn't get you. If you work on your 1 hour break give yourself more break time elsewhere

Seriously, don't forget to eat, drink water, take whatever meds you need, and take breaks to unwind your brain

Start early in the semester. My writing app projected like 100 words per day to finish each paper when I set it up. If I'd done that I wouldn't be writing 800 each one a day right now

Try not to work all day. Your brain isn't evolved for that shit

Decide if you work best in the morning, evening, or afternoon, and prioritise that time for writing where you can

Don't look at individual projects without thinking of their contexts. Move back your due dates if handing one thing in at the last minute will leave you without enough time to complete the next

And remember that good executive function days come and go. Don't beat yourself up over the days you're absolutely not able to put words on paper

[itmighthavebeenintentional]

Shadows and Pills - 3 (end)

Summary: Some people come away from the Battle of New York with scars and broken bones. Some come away with nightmares and years of therapy ahead of them. Some don’t come away at all. Alexa comes away with a shadow.

18+ ONLY, MINORS DO NOT PROCEED

Warnings: RAPE, Torture, Abuse, Self Harm, Negative Images of Psychological Services/Mental Health Professionals, Hallucinations, Stalking, Supernatural Horror, Prescription Drug Use and Eventual Abuse, Mental Illness, PTSD, Flashbacks of Violence, Flashbacks of Tragedy, Starving Oneself, Isolation, Physical and Mental Exhaustion, Denial, Self Neglect, Gaslighting, Mental Spiraling, Mental and Emotional Abuse

18+ ONLY, MINORS DO NOT PROCEED

Author’s Note: This is not a happy story in any sense, at any point. I could only write this at my lowest places, emotionally and mentally speaking, and I had a hard time coming back from it. This is dark, and it does not at any point get lighter. I relied heavily on my own experiences with mental struggles and took a few pieces here and there from my own experiences with mental health professionals. MY EXPERIENCES ARE MY OWN AND ARE NOT TYPICAL, NOT EVEN FOR ME. If you need mental help of any kind, please DO NOT HESITATE TO REACH OUT TO GET IT. This story was an exercise in mental exorcism, in a sense.

For all the Loki lovers out there, I do not shine him anything like a good or redeeming light here. He is evil incarnate, more or less. I love Loki, I love good Loki and redeemed Loki and misunderstood Loki and just about every incarnation thereof. I needed a villain, and he fit the story.

Above all, please be kind. This was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever written, and it took me years to work up the courage to post it. Thank you to all my friends, especially @thoughtslikeaminefield and @glassjacket .

18+ ONLY, MINORS DO NOT PROCEED

Word Count: 1 - 3785; 2 - 3513; 3 - 1068

In Case You Missed It: Shadows and Pills: Part 1 | Part 2 ItMightHaveBeenIntentional’s Masterlist

...

Shadows and Pills -

3 (end)

Morning routine: Can’t wake up if you never went to sleep.

Alarm clock’s broken, anyway. Can’t…

Shower is too far. Not sure she can stand.

Meds…

Dry swallowing sucks. Maybe...give the doc a call. She could try the emergency number.

Getting locked up has to be better, has to-

She can’t find her phone at first. It takes a while to make it out of her bedroom. Her legs don’t seem to want to support her, and it’s oddly painful on her wrists to pull herself up. Maybe she hurt them when she fell out of bed.

Her vision is wavering, and she has to take frequent breaks on the short trek to the kitchen. She considers trying to eat something. It’s been so long, she can’t remember the last time she-

Oh. No food in the apartment. Yeah, so. No, then. No.

What was…

Phone. Doctor. Emergency number.

She grips the back of a chair, forcing numb feet to shuffle on.

Phone. Doctor. Emergency number.

Another step. One more. But why? She doesn’t even know where the damned phone is, anyway.

Phone. Doctor. Emergency number.

Her new mantra carries her across the small apartment, reminding her sieve of a brain of her purpose, no matter how many times she loses track. When she spots her cell phone no more than ten feet away, she almost weeps with relief, but she can’t spare the energy. She allows a single strangled whimper to escape her cracked lips as she fixates on the black rectangle as the lifeline it is.

One more step. And another. And another.

But the phone remains just beyond her fingertips, just beyond her reach, no matter how close she gets. It takes nearly ten minutes of concentrated effort to realize that she’s no closer to the phone than when she started, that she will never reach it.

He won’t let her.

She drops. There’s...why bother...she’s just so tired. And empty. She can’t remember the last time...the last...she can’t-

She can’t remember.

…

Afternoon routine: She. She is.

She was.

She knows she was, once. She had. And she did. But now she doesn’t, she isn’t, she.

Can’t.

She can’t remember.

She wants to stand, to move, to sleep, to eat, to call...someone, she knows she was going to call someone, but-

She wants anything, anything beyond this slump on the cold, hard floor. But she doesn't have a damned thing left. Her eyes track the shadows as they slowly parade across the room, chasing the setting sun.

A final tear rolls down her cheek when she realizes she can’t remember her name.

And then her tears are gone, too.

You are ready for Me now.

“Who-“

Gentle, infinitely powerful arms lift her from the floor, and she feels the sensation of moving without effort. It’s so nice, peaceful even, not having to make an effort. It’s been a long time since anything was so easy. She wonders for a moment why the fingers pressing against her skin feel so right.

Shouldn’t they be cold? It seems like she’s always been cold, but now, the hands, the arms, her breathing, everything just feels easier.

Better.

Rest now, child. Find your peace. Everything will be easier now.

Then the arms are lowering her, and she knows a moment of panic where she is falling, falling for so long, drowning in the oily, choking cesspool-

Hush now. You will know bliss and joy once more. Accept Me, take Me in, and you need never suffer again. I am your salvation.

She takes in a shuddering breath, and the effort alone nearly steals her consciousness. The pain is creeping back in; she has meds for that, there are pills that could-

I am your opium. Breathe Me in, and I shall flow through you, sing elation in your very blood. No more struggle, no more nightmares, only solace and sanctuary.

So tired. She could do it, she really could, though.

Rest, love. Let me comfort you, take your burdens.

Fingers, perfectly warm and gentle, smooth the furrowed lines on her brow, pressing comfort into the creases, tracing soothing patterns on her delicate, papery skin. For the first time in as long as she can remember, she feels cared for, cherished and comforted.

She’s forgotten everything. And now she’s beginning to forget even that. Why was she fighting? Who was she fighting?

There is no one but Us, My pet. Rest now, I will carry your burdens. Will you let Me heal you now?

The question hangs in the air, heavy and much more than it seems, but Alexa is too tired to battle through the implications anymore. She’s done.

“Yes.”

…

“Glad to see you’ve taken advantage of my vacation to make some progress. How are your sleep patterns the last week or so?”

Alexa surveys the doctor quietly for a moment, considering.

“Definitely longer stretches at a time. There are still nightmares, but I don’t remember most of them.”

The doctor’s pen scratches for a moment, then, “Any flashbacks?”

“Fewer. I’ve been trying some of your other suggestions. The meditation seems to help, especially before bed. It’s easier to fall asleep.”

“Good, good. I’m glad you’re seeing some progress at last. Now, who are we up to this week?”

“Actually, Doctor,” Alexa says, standing and gathering her coat and purse, “I have some work I need to get done and sent in to the office before they close for the day. I apologize for cutting short, but I promise I’ll have more progress to report at our next session.”

She turns away from the doctor, opening his office door and departing before he has time to recover from his shock. There will probably be a worried or stern voicemail on her phone later, but, then again, maybe he’ll be impressed enough by her...progress...to leave well enough alone.

Small blessings.

She presses the button for the elevator, then pauses a moment as she waits. A mirror hangs on the wall next to the elevators, and she studies her reflection carefully. A slow, careful smile spreads over her face, and blue eyes sparkle back at her from the angles and curves of her pleased expression.

“Excellent progress,” she murmurs. The elevator announces its arrival with a diminutive ding, and the doors slide open. Alexa steps inside, still smiling as the doors close.