#if you feel like this needs a cw/tw tag let me know i wasn't really sure??? I dont usually post things that need warnings

[artingstarvist]

TGCF Vol 3, Chp. 43 - 44 (First "Kiss") Part 2 / 5 (First, Next)

Next part is finally done! Xie Lian's inner monologue kills me.

Novel excerpt under the cut:

[denotes panel #]

[1, 2] Xie Lian blinked, trying desperately to bat away the thousands upon millions of lingering crystalline bubbles. [3] Then he found himself caught by a pair of strong arms. [4, 5] One hand circled his waist, and the other grasped his chin. [6] In the next second, something cold and soft covered his lips. [7]In that instant, Xie Lian's eyes bulged. Never in his life had anyone treated him like this. First, no one dared, second, no one could. However this person was swift like the devil and had appeared so suddenly that he had no chance to defend himself before he'd been plunged into such a state. [8, 9] Flustered, he thrashed and desperately tried to push the person away. [10] Instead, he only succeeded in choking on large mouthfuls of water as string after string of bubbles escaped his mouth like crystal beads. Of course, this was a big mistake underwater. [11] The hands round his waist only tightened, pressing their bodies closer together, and Xie Lian's struggling hands were firmly folded and crushed against his own chest, trapping them in place. [12] His lips, too, were securely sealed. The kiss deepened, and with it, a breath of cool, gentle air was transferred into his mouth. [13, 14, 15] Completely helpless and at a loss, just as Xie Lian began to accept his fate, he finally saw the person's face clearly. [16] It was Hua Cheng. [17] The moment he realized it was Hua Cheng, he stopped struggling. Innumerable random thoughts popped into his mind, all inappropriate for the time and place, such as : So it was Hua Cheng! No wonder he's cold. [18] Ghosts don't need to breathe, but he can still transfer air to me?! [19] Don't ghosts sink in the water? [20] Hua Cheng suddenly opened his eye. [21, 22] Staring into that dark eye from such an intimate distance, Xie Lian froze again, then resumed struggling, his arms flailing like a duck so clumsy it was drowning. [23, 24] Hua Cheng easily corralled those thrashing limbs, and with his arm still firmly locked around Xie Lian's waist, Hua Cheng took him and speedily swam upward.

[absurddino]

Death's kiss

For @thiamficweekly week 17

Wc: 1620 | rating: t | tw/cw: main character death, death | tags: Thiam as ghosts

💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

Death is kind of like floating. The moment of impact hurts. Like being thrown off the seventh story. But then it becomes blissful, in a really fucked up way. 

Suddenly all problems. All worries, they disappear from your mind. It's like looking up at the starry night sky, thinking: 'I'm nothing compared to the universe.' That's what death is like.

Obviously, Theo hadn't anticipated dying today. 

He'd gotten up and gotten ready, he put on the clothes he wore yesterday (something he will probably regret after learning that, yes, ghosts are real. Spending an eternity with an oil stain on the front of his shirt might get old). He'd brushed his teeth, put on his shoes, neglected eating breakfast because every penny counts and he's already lost too many.

In the end, the way he went... A stray bullet leftover from one of the hunters, ending up in some guys gun only to end up in his shoulder with no one there to help him, because even though him and Scott are on somewhat amicable terms, he's away for college and, let's face it, Theo's too ashamed to ask anyone else for help. 

He goes quickly. He's okay with it. 

The boy standing in front of him, hands on his hips, decidedly is not. 

"What the Hell is wrong with you?" he asks, the moment Theo's eyes blink back open, after he thought he'd closed them forever. "You're a fucking wimp, you know that? Acting all broody and shit, while you could've just asked for help!" 

"Oh, fuck you," Theo mumbles, rubbing a hand over his face. It's his luck to get stuck with some annoying loser who thinks he knows everything better the moment he dies, yet he feels lighter than he has in hours as he stands, parting from his deceased body. "For your information, that wasn't a normal bullet. I couldn't just go to the hospital." 

"Yeah. I'm not stupid." The boy crosses his arms. "But you could've gone to Melissa, or Argent. Or, like, anyone else. But, no! Little Theo Raeken needed to go out with one last depressing bang." 

Theo pauses. "Do I know you?" 

The boy sighs. It's the first time Theo has looked at him properly, short hair, the bluest eyes he's ever seen. He looks like he's constantly agitated, or maybe that's only now. Theo's feeling pretty agitated as well, if he's honest. Can't even get a moment of rest after he died, it seems. 

He doesn't recognise him, though. He would have, if he ever met him. His face isn't something you'd forget. Even now, Theo thinks it might be burned into his memory forever. From his sharp eyes to the downturn of his pink lips.

"Of course you don't know me. I doubt Scott would've ever told you about me. Can't ruin his perfect fucking reputation. I gave him a piece of my mind after you killed him. Thanks for that, by the way." He smiles, holding a hand outstretched between them. "I'm Liam." 

Theo takes his hand. It feels as real as a human touch, which makes him halt. He'd thought ghosts would feel different. He hadn't thought ghosts were real at all. "Theo," he says, eventually. 

"Yeah, I knew that." 

"How?" Theo asks. He eyes his dead body and Liam must take notice of how uncomfortable it's making him, because he nudges him towards the street. It's not the fact that he's dead that bothers him, really, he's been dead before and he's honestly grateful he's not back in Hell with Tara. The thought of someone finding his body, though, that's what messes with him. 

Liam hums as he walks straight through the people on the sidewalk. "Well, ever since Scott killed me I've been meaning to get my revenge. So, obviously, I had to stalk you guys. His pack. His family. Whatever helped me get closer to my goal." 

"Scott killed you?" 

The feeling of walking through people is something he might not ever get used to. It's like someone is swirling around his insides with a pair of chopsticks. And so, he tries to dodge most of the people, which makes Liam snort. 

"Yep. Wasn't great, actually. Much less 'I'll just lay here and die' than your death was." Liam shoves his hands into the pockets of his jeans and ducks into another alley. Theo follows him, because what else is he supposed to do? "I'm his first beta," Liam tells him. "He won't admit it, but I am. He bit me and my body couldn't handle it. Very slow, very painful death. He kept me locked up in a bunker, where no one could hear me scream. Well, until I died. After that he buried me out in the woods. No one has found me yet, my parents still think I'm alive. Somewhere." 

"And now you want to kill Scott?" Theo asks. It makes sense. He would want to kill Scott if he was in the same position. Hell, he wants to kill Scott on a near daily basis just because of his annoying face.

"Well, you already did that." Liam shrugs, leaning against the brick wall. "I thought that was, like, what was holding me back from moving on. Some ghosts say you can only move on from the mortal realm after completing your unfinished business, others say you're stuck as a ghost until everyone forgets about you." 

"There's other ghosts? In Beacon Hills?" 

He hopes there's no one here he killed. That could become awkward. Or lethal, if there's any way for ghosts to die. 

Liam grins. "I'm the cutest one, though." He holds out his hand and it takes a while for Theo to realize he's supposed to put his hand in his. 

"Come on," Liam says, when he finally does, and promptly pulls him through the wall. 

---

Theo leans a handful of things in the span of two hours. 

1. Laura Hale makes the best alcoholic beverages and ghosts (even werewolves and weird science experiments) apparently have no issue getting drunk. 

2. There are a lot of ghosts in Beacon Hills. Different ages and species blending together at the bar, like they've been doing it for centuries. Most of them have. 

3. Liam Dunbar is the most magnificent boy in the entire universe, and he's only admitting that because he's drunk. 

They're sitting at the bar, and it's immediately crystal clear that Liam is a big deal around here. Theo can't place his finger on what it is exactly, but people gravitate towards him like moths to a flame. 

Liam laughs at the appropriate moments, flirts with a girl wearing pigtails and a bubble skirt, fixes an old man's tie and in the same breath compliments another person's eyeshadow. 

He's...fuck, he's like really attractive. 

Theo must be staring. He knows he is, and yet he can't seem to stop. It might be something in the drinks, it might be the shock of dying. All of that's probably just an excuse for Liam. 

Liam who is turning to look at him, mischievous twinkle in his eyes as he softly kicks Theo's shin. 

"Are you jealous or something?" Liam asks, sly grin on his face. It snaps Theo right out of his thoughts. He'd been staring right at him. Good thing he wasn't drooling.  

"Jealous? Of you?" He scoffs. "You wish." 

Liam's grin spreads wider. "I didn't mean of me. I meant of them." He licks his lips. "Do you want me all to yourself, Raeken?" 

"Stop talking to me like we know each other so well." Theo gets off the bar chair he's been sitting on, wobbling on his legs. So what? He's never been drunk before. "Matter of fact, stop talking all together." 

"I can work with that," Liam says. His touch against Theo's arm feels near electric, hand sliding down until it's wrapped around his wrist. "Follow me." 

Theo does. Because he's dead and what else is he supposed to do when a pretty boy tells him to follow? He can have this, for fucks sake, he's allowed. 

Liam is on him the moment they slide back through the wall, pushing him against the opposite side of the alley, hands sliding up over his torso to grasp his jaw and tilt him forward. Their lips connect and it's unlike anything Theo's ever felt before. 

He gasps into it. How could he not? This is the craziest thing he's ever done and he's done a lot of crazy shit. He can feel Liam smiling against his mouth and all his jealousy dissipates. 

It doesn't matter who he complimented, or talked to, or helped. Because it's Theo that gets to have him now. All to himself, hidden between two towering buildings.

Liam hums as their lips move together. Their breaths mingle, the taste of beer and something smokey transferring. 

For someone that died when he was sixteen he sure as Hell can kiss. 

Theo can't help but groan into his mouth, pressing harder against him, until suddenly all the pressure is gone and he's left gulping in breaths with his head tilted back against the brick wall behind him. 

He feels like he's starving. There's a pathetic kind of need coursing through his veins. It's something he's never felt before, something that doesn't have anything to do with how many drinks he had. It settles low in his stomach, keeping him warm while Liam's hands spread out over his chest. 

"That enough of not talking for you?" Liam asks, moving closer until Theo can feel his hot breath against his neck. He presses a single kiss against his pulse. 

Theo swallows. "Think I need some more of that, uh, not talking."

[crayonboxcolors607]

CW/TW -mentions of various triggering topics, including but not limited to, su!c!de, r@pe, se*ual a**ault, etc

in reference to a recent post i reblogged by @thedreadvampy

that post garnered a TON of negative attention due to the lack of content and trigger warnings proceeding the post, especially because it discussed some HEAVILY TRIGGERING topics.

i am not of the belief that "trigger warnings cater to the weak" or whatever dumb shit people come up with to justify not properly tagging their work.

i am also aware that i am someone who, while appreciating CWs and TWs, don't rely on them the way i know others do. i can read a fic or a post lacking trigger warnings, come across a triggering topic/piece of content, and maintain my wise-minded self. ( just a lil dbt flex)

and it's taken me years of therapy and skills work to get to this point. i still benefit from trigger warnings, but i don't need them the way i used to anymore.

and i know that there are some people who won't ever be able to get to the point that im at, simply because of how their trauma affected them.

AND THATS OKAY!

everyone's experiences are different, and everyone's reactions to those experiences are different. i could have the same exact trauma as someone else, and we could still have different after effects. because that's just how the world works.

the purpose of trigger warnings isn't to make a topic taboo or hush-hush, nor is it to garner excessive attention to your post (which is a claim i've seen made far too often). they are simply there to let people know that the topics discussed or written about may make cause some viewers distress. they're there because people who experience a traumatic event of any kind are more likely to have negative reactions to stories/conversations pertaining to that traumatic event or events of that kind.

people who haven't experienced trauma can also benefit from trigger warnings/content warnings.

let's say you were reading a really great fic, and then out of nowhere, there was rape or real non-con. you'd be confused and probably a bit upset right? because that wasn't the kind of content you were looking for, and the author didn't tell you their fic would contain that topic.

a content warning helps you realize that before you reach the upsetting content, allowing you to click off and avoid it.

i think the people who were upset at the lack of warnings have an absolute right to be. its really hard to come across something thats triggering for you. it causes flashbacks. it causes panic attacks. it causes meltdowns and shutdowns and moves you back in your recovery process.

but the purpose of the original post was to explain that just because they're triggering topics, doesn't the world can't talk about them. it was to say that the more we avoid these topics, the more taboo they become. the more mystery surrounds them. the more misinformation will get spread. and the less people will ask for help.

and i personally agree with that. these are topics that need to be talked about, so we make sure that the next generations know that they are not alone. they can ask for help. they can talk to people about how they're feeling.

but i do think that the OP should've included trigger warnings.

[peggyrose19]

(tw: eating disorders) feel free to ignore this if it will trigger you or if you just don't feel like responding! I think I might have an ed (probably something restrictive) but I'm not sure if what's going on would qualify and I'm terrified to tell anyone about it because tbh I'm not sure if a ready for others help yet. But also I know that it's not healthy and I should reach out before things get worse. Do you have any advice on how to reach out or how to help yourself in this? Thank you!

hey there! first off, i'm so glad you felt you could ask me about this, and i'm so super proud of you for reaching out and knowing you need some help. secondly, i could talk about this probably for hours, so i will try to keep this concise as i can, however i make no promises. if you have any more questions, i am always happy to answer as best i can!

cw eating disorder talk under the cut (not in the tags because fuck apple)

(my adhd brain doesn't do blocks of text so i'm gonna bold the important shit)

the first thing i would recommend is to do a little research. my eating disorder, arfid, is a bit of an umbrella term for any sort of restrictive eating that isn't anorexia or bulimia. the best place to find information on it is going to be the MGH program; so far, they're the only place i know of doing research and treatment specifically for arfid. they have a bunch of info online that you can find, as well as a really awesome book. it also has a workbook and may have some helpful information on how you can begin to treat it.

one thing to know: even if you do not meet all the requirements for an official diagnosis, you are still struggling. don't let that discourage you. technically, i don't have an anxiety diagnosis because i "don't struggle enough" because i'm on medication. the dsm-5, how they diagnosis this stuff, is kind of bullshit. so don't let that impact how you feel and don't let it discredit how you feel. you know you best, always remember that.

you should definitely reach out before it gets worse. it's going to be so much harder to fight if you let it get worse, and take this from someone who's had this eating disorder for 8 years now. it wasn't understood when i was first diagnosed, even by the professionals. if you're not quite ready yet to get help, that's okay. it's a hard thing to accept you're struggling. but even if it's just telling your friends, an adult you trust, your therapist if you have one, i encourage you to tell someone. it's so important to have people on your side. if they're aware of how you're struggling, they can help you fight it.

for actually telling people, it can be hard, believe me i know. find a time and place you're comfortable. be as honest as you feel you can be. be clear with what it is you're struggling with. i'm not gonna lie, it's probably going to be hard for them to hear. that is not your fault. and you are not responsible for their feelings. if you want, have some research ready for them to look at. if they truly care about you as a human being, they will want to know how they can help.

it can be hard to know what others can do that will help. it may take a lot of trial and error. even now, i'm still not always sure. and these things may change. sometimes i need people there to encourage me to eat; other times i will cry if there are people near me when i try to eat. it's hard. however you are feeling is okay. but please, let people help you. you're not a burden to them, certainly not if they're offering help. they love you, they want you to do well.

i think i may have gotten a little off-topic here, but i did warn you lol. if nothing else, know that you're not alone and know that help is available when you're ready. know that i am always here; even if it takes a little while for me to respond, i always will. i sincerely hope some of this helps. and i hope, when you're ready, you can get the help you need. cause you deserve it <3

[cozywine]

Title: My Type pt. 1

Summary: A fluffy piece based on a dream I had. F!Reader feels self conscious about her body size and he makes her feel better.

Pairing: SpencerxF!Reader

CW/TW: mention of general challenges with dieting and body image. No description of eating disorder though.

................................................................................

The case the team was currently on had been twisty turny in the worst way. They had been brought to Chicago after human remains had been found within 3 churches that were recently demolished. The remains were posed the same way and had been hidden in the same manner- beneath the baptismal font. They had been there over a week and were still trying to figure out who was responsible for the crimes. They'd had a suspect but it had led to nothing... Starting over was always the worst.

"Ok, let's go back to the beginning... What do we know about the victims?" Rossi instructed paternally.

"All females between the ages of 21 and 35." Y/N stated quickly. "No ties to the churches they were found within."

"All of them were college educated and single," added Emily. "And they were attractive... physically fit, well dressed and likeable types. Popular on Tinder and their other social medias."

Y/N always felt uncomfortable when profiling someone based off their physical traits... Bluntly put, she wasn't slim. In a profile, that would make her considered less sexually appealing for the majority of UnSubs. Statistically, it was a fact. Yet it always felt like there could be some subjectivity when her colleagues brought up the stature of those they worked to avenge.

All of her female colleagues were slimmer than her. She often found herself donning bulky sweaters in dark colors, hoping they would disguise the softness of her belly and the rolls on her back, just below her bra line. In magazines she'd read that she should emphasize her face and cleavage, as if that would distract anyone from the parts of her body she disliked.

Of course she was physically fit and capable of passing her field tests... She just didn't have the same body type as her colleagues. Where they were lean, she was voluptuous. Over-full. Despite lifelong diets and general misery around food, her body size remained a pain point until finally after working with a therapist, she discovered intuitive eating. Y/N now felt more connected to her body, appreciated it's cues for the type of fuel it needed, and generally struggled less around her eating habits. But the body image challenges... Those continued. Some days worse than others... And today was one of those.

She knew it wasn't necessarily intentional, but Derek never made flirtatious comments toward her. She sometimes sensed that Rossi put all of the vegetables closer to her end of the table. Hotch usually signed her up for desk work if it was an option. And Spencer, pipe cleaner that he was... Never gave her a second glance. They were all great friends, especially Y/N and the younger Doctor... Both intellectual, sensitive and intuitive, they got along famously. But Y/N knew it would never be more than that... Someone as beautiful as Spencer Reid would never give her the time of day.

"With no ties to the churches, being buried beneath the baptismal font could indicate our UnSub as someone looking to cleanse them of their sins of life." Y/N added, snapping out of her negative thoughts to focus on the case. "What would make someone want to do that?"

"If I'm the UnSub, these churches mean a lot to me.. So I'm religious. I would be repulsed by their lack of virtue... Yet possibly attracted to them. What would that make me do?" Morgan added. "I might feel that this is the only way to feel holy again."

"So we need to go back to the church... We already figured that this UnSub would need access to the facility but there must be someone we missed." Rossi said.

Rossi and Morgan went back to the church while the rest of the team worked with Garcia to pinpoint any specifics of who might be the culprit. Limited social media use by the UnSub made it tricky, but you eventually tracked down Joseph Knight. He was a current seminary student placed at one of the many Catholic churches in Chicago. In his mission work, he organized events for young professionals to volunteer as tutors for lower income students. As it turned out, all three victims had been to at least one tutoring session, each in a different neighborhood.

"So there's our connection, my furry friends. And wouldn't you bet the next event is tomorrow night?" Garcia said.

"If we send someone in who fits his type, we could draw him out..." Emily added. "What do you guys think?"

Y/N took a deep breath. "Yeah, I think it could work. You or JJ rock paper scissors for it. I'm going for a coffee refill... Anyone need anything?"

Y/N pushed away from the table, pushing up the sleeves of her navy blazer and wrapping the strap of her wallet around her wrist. She adjusted her jeans quickly, making sure they still sat at the narrowest part of her waist and ensured that her striped tee wasn't clinging anywhere. She felt a little flustered, her outfit not doing as much as she'd hoped to make her feel confident. The local coffeeshop around the corner had friendly baristas and a little positive human interaction would definitely improve her mood.

"I'll join you," Spencer said quickly. "If that's all right. I could use some fresh air."

They walked in silence to the coffeeshop in the brisk September air, Spencer holding the door for Y/N with a small smile. He did this for everyone, so Y/N paid it no mind. The shop smelled delicious, roasty and warm. They hopped in the short line, and Y/N perused the drink list. In their week there, she'd tried a few specialties but mostly stuck to plain coffee.

"Okay genius... Which has more caffeine, black coffee or an Americano?" She asked, trying to lighten the mood.

His eyes shone, excited for the opportunity to talk about something other than work.

"Contrary to popular belief," he explained, his hands moving as he spoke, "One 2 oz double espresso shot has about 80 milligrams of caffeine. Whereas a 12 oz brewed coffee has about 120 milligrams. So actually there is more caffeine in an average cup of drip coffee than in espresso. If you really want to go crazy you could get a red-eye, but I wonder if the post-caffeine crash is really the best idea for you today."

"What do you mean? I'm fine." She said. "Frustrated that I had to board Millie for a second week, but I know we're getting closer to solving this." Thinking of her sweet lab mix made her smile.

"Fair. I just mean, you seemed a little touchy when Emily suggested sending in someone as bait."

"Yeah, I don't know. They'll figure out who's the most attractive. It will probably work. It's good, for sure."

"The most attractive to that UnSub, you mean?" He tried to clarify, not totally sure why she sounded so down talking about it.

"Oh yeah, yeah... Of course." She shrugged. The line had dwindled. She smiled at the barista, who was wearing a hand drawn name tag. "Hi Jenny, how are you?... Great thanks. Can I please have a medium plain latte with an extra shot? Thank you so much. Spence, what's your order?"

He flushed, clearly feeling a little awkward. "Oh, a large pour over... The Guatemalan single origin, if you have it."

The barista nodded, and Y/N chuckled lightly at his very specific order. She paid, tipping Jenny generously, and they went to stand near the pickup counter.

"Single origin, huh? Getting fancy, Dr. Reid." Y/N teased. Her brief conversation with Jenny had brightened her day.

"Yeah, they tend to be more interesting than a blend so I like to try them when I can... Thank you for buying by the way... next one on me, ok?" She nodded in response, and he continued.

"Did you know that Guatemala is one of the top ten coffee producers in the world, producing more than 204,000 metric tons of coffee beans a year?" He looked delighted, a far cry from his usual down turned look when they were on a case. He looked... Great.

Y/N tried not to focus too much on the happy crinkles around his eyes or the way his large yet delicate hands gestured as he spoke. She knew he would never consider her equally lovely.

Their coffees came up quickly and they returned to the station ready to plan for the next days effort.

A/N stay tuned for part 2... Just thought this was getting a little lengthy!