#if you ever let any kind comment on any piece of mine know I'm incredibly grateful for it

[sleepyskydraws]

Inktober day 9 - Bounce

[heich0e]

liv do you prefer people leave comments/reviews in reblogs? i usually just send the author something in their inbox so i'm sure they see it but have i been doing it wrong? is it actually annoying this way? 🥲

ok so firstly: i cannot imagine a world in which sharing your feedback/kind thoughts/love for a piece of writing could ever EVER be considered ANNOYING. secondly: i don't for one second believe myself qualified nor capable of speaking for any author other than myself, so I can rly only attest to my own preferences/thoughts on the subject!!

sharing your feedback in ANY way is so SO incredibly appreciated, whether that be in the tags of a reblog or otherwise. this might sound silly but as a writer i'm always incredibly grateful (/relieved??) whenever anyone feels compelled to let me know they read what i wrote and liked it. just that simple acknowledgement that like, hey, that thing i created has made its way to another human being is tremendously reassuring. someone saw it. someone read it. someone liked it. i knew it and it was mine and now it's ours because they know it too.

that being said! when i get asks with comments/responses to a fic i always ALWAYS struggle with responding. i worry that whatever i manage to reply pales in comparison to how kind the initial ask was, and rarely (if ever) properly conveys how deeply appreciative i am to have received the message. i worry that i'm not doing justice to the sincere gratitude i feel. because of that i often end up just hoarding these asks until i "feel like I can reply right"—which, if i'm being entirely honest, means i probably just end up keeping it in my inbox forever and feel worse because i never replied at all.

to me (perhaps rather selfishly) the benefit to comments left in the tags of a reblog is that the pressure i feel in forming a response is gone, and i can also easily refer back to them in the future by going back to the notes of the original post. some people also don't reblog posts at all (let alone with tags) which is of course another issue entirely, but that's definitely been talked about enough that it doesn't need me bringing it up again. there's something very sweet to me about someone reblogging something i wrote with their thoughts in the tags for the great wide world to see... like a goodreads review or something. idk if this even makes sense lmaooo

but that being said, none of those "benefits" outweigh the worth of receiving feedback (in any form) and i would never want someone to think or feel that an ask with their comments wasn't welcome because it 10000% is. always. ALWAYS. i also recognize that some people are just more comfortable interacting anonymously, and I don't deny anyone that right!! being perceived is scary sometimes!! but the fact of the matter is that interaction (in all forms! asks/tags/reblogs/even likes in some cases) seems to be down, but strangely i seem to be gaining just as many followers as usual, which can rly only logically lead me to the assumption that YES people are reading it, they just aren't acknowledging it. which feels.... idk. devastating feels dramatic, but it also feels right.

anyway, sorry this got long. just my two cents! (if u adjust for inflation it's 200000000000 cents.) love you! drink some water!

[mosshook]

20 questions for fic writers

thank you sm for the tag, @mangatxt / ani!!! <3

to any of my friends who write fic, feel free to do this if you'd like! (@astertiae, @catbandits) this is just for fun :]

the questions are below the cut.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

12, currently

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

44.5k

3. What fandoms do you write for?

right now, i'm not actively working on anything. but if i get a chance to work on a project over my holiday break in december, it'll probably be for our flag means death or lord of the rings.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

two very old merlin fics, my singular mandalorian fic, and both of my mob psycho fics that are over 1k words.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i usually do, yes! i think it's really cool that people take the time to leave a comment after they're done reading something of mine, be it long or short. it touches me every time, and even if i don't always know what to say in response sometimes, i appreciate them so, so much.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

probably ouranos. it's canon-compliant with the merlin timeline for season 4, and it follows lancelot from his sacrificial death for merlin, to his limbo existence in underworld, to being resurrected by morgana and eventually being killed in combat with arthur.

on a language level, it's also one of the first fics i wrote that started to lean more into what my style currently is! so it's kind of sweet on the occasion i reread it and can see my roots.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

definitely without a question it's this is a life. no fictional character has ever touched me quite like reigen, and i wanted to finish that specific piece on a note that was less emblematic of an ending and moreso felt like a triumphant beginning. like a promise of a new, better tomorrow.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i did once, and in hindsight it's pretty funny. but basically, i made critical comments about a character on twitter, so someone went into my comments section and told me to NEVER write for this one specific pairing anymore. (for the record, i didn't. but that was because i realized the pairing in question was kind of lame.)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i tried my hand at it once. it went horribly, but it was a learning experience. let the record know it was SO MUCH HARDER than i thought it would be.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

not really, no! i mean, i published a self-insert fic as a joke for my friends a few years ago, but that's not quite the same thing.

if we're talking "not published and will never see the light of day" stuff, i did write a little blurb where keanu reeves' jonathan harker meets alex winters' vampire marko from the lost boys.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

yes. the title was taken, as was the premise, from a popular author in the community.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

not to my knowledge!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yeah!!! nothing serious that ever got published, but me and my friends have collaborated on mini-projects together and have old google docs together. i used to write mini fics with my friends all the time on twitter, but sadly i never archived them.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

probably yuuri and victor from yuri on ice. i can't express enough how much yuri on ice changed my life when it came out, or the sheer euphoria i felt as a kid in the closet watching someone so much like me - yuuri - be out, and happy, and brave. i miss my show so, so much.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

my aquarium fic with serizawa as a education volunteer and reigen as a schoolteacher who takes his kids there on field trips. i have so many little scenes from it and an incredibly specific vision for it as someone who loves the sea, has a lifelong appreciation for marine life, and has always wanted to live by the shore.

16. What are your writing strengths?

oh man. i think that i do a good job of integrating leitmotifs and playing into my semi-poetic voice. i also think that over the years, i've gotten better at creating tangible atmospheres, specifically with the quiet. i love portraying the quiet.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

grammatically, i'm a bit of a nightmare sometimes. dialogue takes a while for me to develop, too.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i wouldn't do this unless i knew the other language well (like vietnamese). most likely i don't think i'll end up doing this at all because even with my personal and professional writing, i'm hesitant to write in another language that isn't english.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

merlin. i was 11 and wrote my first fic on my ipad in the pages app...it was a merlin fix-it that was over 15,000 words long, and it was absolutely atrocious. said ipad is at my parent's house locked forever because i forgot the password, and i hope it stays that way. some things should stay lost.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

honestly? i think it's still principles of stellar connectivity. i wrote this for community during lockdown in late 2020, and i conceptualized a lot of it with my friend, @combeferres. (they're credited at the beginning as the person who made the fic's mixtape!) it's got everything i love: rock music, troy and abed being silly, national parks, stargazing, celestial motifs. i wanted to do a serious character study with sitcom characters while still retaining the core of who they are and what makes them so special, and to this day, i think i was pretty successful.

[ladyartemesia]

Since I'm in love with your writings and your taste in reading too. I know that your favorite is Brother's best friend or Best friend's brother, I would like for you to recommend me some of them please ❤️❤️🙏

꧁Brother’s Best Friend꧂

Clandestine by @junghelioseok is fantastic. Jeon Jungkook is the best friend of the reader’s slightly younger brother. He’s sexy and charismatic and DEFINITELY knows what he wants. The growth of his (clandestine) connection with the reader is utterly delicious. This one made me laugh and swoon.

Guarded by @xjoonchildx is basically legendary in my book. The lady in this story is not only Hoseok’s best friend’s sister—she is also his BOSS’s sister and by boss I mean mafia. This is the first installment in Ana’s amazing Rap Line Mafia Universe and it delivers on every level. Hoseok is tasked with protecting the boss’s sister after she is being threatened by sinister forces unknown and sparks fly.

Plums and Melons by @winetae is THAT FIC. The fic I just daydream about sometimes. It’s a fic about two people caught hard in eachother’s gravity. It’s so sexy and cerebral and the main characters are so hot. Jimin is just a guy trying to live his life, but whatever is brewing between him and his best friend’s sister is driving him insane. He wants to be a good guy, but she just isn’t playing fair.

Are You Sure? by @cutechim is such a swoon-worthy and touching piece of wonderful. I tell you I was MOVED. This is beautiful and emotional and EXTREMELY satisfying. Taehyung’s best friend has a sister who he has always secretly adored. When she comes to him and asks for some intimate experience, he isn’t strong enough to say no—not when she’s everything he ever wanted.

Drivers License and Detour by @gyukult is sweet and tender and just a fantastic coming of age story. The reader has been in love with her brother’s best friend, Park Jimin, for almost all of her youth... but what is going on in his head?It’s a tender story that really warms the heart. AND I am happy there is more coming. I would read about these two all day. She published the second part and oh my gosh it’s so incredibly perfect I could scream. This was just such a beautiful journey every step of the way.

Milestone by @1kook is probably one of the first brother’s best friend BTS fics I read and it is amazing. I adore it so much. Because Jungkook is your brother’s best friend he is there for every milestone in your life. But you’ve both grown up now and neither of you are kids anymore. It’s hot. Like really hot. Dialogue and set up are so sharp and fast paced I really loved every second.

Young God by @njssi is scorching hot smut with complicated feelings and warm revelations. You think it’s going somewhere and then it goes somewhere else and honestly it is so awesome the whole time. Jungkook was always your brother’s sweet little friend, but he’s returned determined to show you that he is all grown up.

Tease by @caiuscassiuss floored me. I loved it so much! I spent the whole story just squealing happily about everything. This story has it all. It’s scorching hot. It’s enemies-to-lovers. It’s Taehyung. Jungkook’s sister and Kim Taehyung do not get along AT all—so she decides to bring him to his knees by making him desperate for her. It’s a wild and completely awesome ride.

Wasabi by @ironicarmy is a classic. Hobi is a bad boy that Namjoon vehemently refuses to let near his precious baby sister. But love is too strong a force and soon Hobi and the clever object of his desire decide that some things are worth fighting for. It’s a really sweet story of facing challenges and relying on the people you love. Warm and fuzzy feelings abound, but it’s also super hot.

Forbidden by @btssmutgalore is a masterwork blueprint for this trope. Hobi is a carefree player who falls brutally for Taehyung’s sister. They two of them eventually give in to a VERY steamy series of secret encounters and feelings get very involved. This is hot, suspenseful, and emotionally satisfying. Excellent characterizations as well.

Prohibido by @personasintro is an office AU with a twist. Namjoon is not only her brother’s best friend, he is also her boss and the two of them have incredible chemistry. Watching them pretend that they’re not insanely attracted to each other is so endearing and hot. Reader is convinced her feelings are one-sided. It’s lovely and fun. Definitely a slow burn, but worth it.

Strawberry Kisses by @kimnjss is a fic that I devoured in one sitting and then re-read again immediately. Jeon Jungkook is a player who matches with a girl on a dating app and has no idea she is the sister of his revered mentor and close friend, Min Yoongi. I laughed. I cried. I GASPED OUT LOUD a bunch. It was a whole thing. This is a hybrid social media/written AU and it’s pretty much perfect.

Tempestuous by @ppersonna is so special to me because it was written at the very beginning of my friendship with Lindy. She was looking for requests and I was quick to request my favorite trope. Lindy is bae now and this fic she wrote is marvelous. You are forced to spend the weekend in the same house with your sexy arch-rival Taehyung who just so happens to be your brother’s best friend. Naturally snarky hotness ensues.

Off Limits @floralseokjin is basically a famous entry when it comes to this trope. It’s a Jin fic and Miss Jordan writes EXQUISITE Jin characterizations. There is a hint of mistaken (or unknown) identity in this one which makes it even more fun. Sparks fly between you and a devilishly charming Kim Seokjin at a party. You don’t find out until later who he really is—and why he’s off limits.

And finally I’ll recommend my own Brother’s Best Friend fic All I Want for Christmas is You featuring a charming Taehyung who falls for Jimin’s sister. Jimin basically blackmails his best friend into escorting his sister to several holiday galas. Tae and Jimin’s sister have never gotten along, but they soon discover (through multiple pranks and mishaps) that love (and desire) are out of their control.

Not Your Fairytale by @yeojaa is incredibly sweet and tender. Erin really does emotion so well and her Yoongi characterization is honestly so nuanced and brilliant. This story is about a girl who had her heart broken and instead of canceling the cake tasting she scheduled with her philandering ex-fiancé, she wrangles the tsundere best friend of her brother to pretend to be him.

Brother’s Best Friend by @bts-hyperfixation is a short and sweet moment between two people who have been fighting their attraction for each other. It is so hot and delicious I tell you. You’re in trouble and the person you call is probably the person you shouldn’t—but you aren’t the only one willing to take a risk tonight.

Off Limits by @kaddiiction will break your heart and put it back together again. This one was recommended to me by a reader and I cannot thank them enough. It is fantastic. Jimin is a player but he crosses the line when he begins a liaison with his best friend’s sister. Still there is far more to this situation—and Jimin—than meets the eye.

꧁Best Friend’s Brother꧂

Orectic by @gimmesumsuga is one of my favorite fics of all time. It is a hybrid fic where the reader is a cat hybrid and Hoseok is the brother of her best friend who comes to stay with her while her bestie is away... It is so tender yet SO HOT. I’m telling you I cannot even keep count of how many times I have read it.

Theophany by @ilikemesometaetaes was a JOURNEY. It made me so emotional. Like the story centers around art a lot, but let me tell you, this fic IS art. Jimin is just the man of my whole dreams in this piece as the brother of a former best friend with an irresistible allure. It is a coming of age story with the most beautiful twist. AND THE LOVE SCENE—oh my gosh I screamed it was so good. This story is just so so good.

Run by @neonlights92 is Jungkook’s story in the mafia universe I am COMPLETELY OBSESSED WITH. You don’t have to read the whole series to understand it (BUT YOU SHOULD). This is best friend’s brother meets arranged marriage and honestly it’s fantastic. Jungkook doesn’t do love and affection and being forced into an arranged marriage with his sister’s friend who has always had a crush on him is just a blow to his freedom... or is she? GAH! This story—like all the stories in this universe—is superb.

The Magic to Happiness by @readyplayerhobi is a best friend’s brother meets teachers AU meets Hogwarts AU. Now... all of those are top tier tropes so finding them together is like winning the lottery. Hobi was once just a skinny kid who had obvious heart eyes for you (his sister’s best friend) but now he’s tall and confident and really attractive. The magic of this story is evident in every word of the sweet relationship that blooms between these two.

Problem with You by @monvante is so sweet and kind of hilarious. I giggled so much! Jungkook is your best friend’s brother and he is kind of too perfect and too handsome and he’s always around and you hate him and he hates you... Right? When you cross paths with the infuriating Jeon Jungkook at your best friend’s wedding, you discover that you may have been wrong about a great many things.

Show Me Yours and I’ll Show You Mine by @ktheist is so so SO fabulous. I was obsessed with this (now complete) series from the very first installment. You and Tae are besties who have know each other since you were little kids, but lately Tae’s older brother Jin has been lookin mighty fine. Just how far can you push him till he breaks. And if he breaks.... what then?

This list is BY NO MEANS exhaustive. I just used it to compile some of my FAVORITES in this particular trope.

➪ IF YOU HAVE ANY OTHER BROTHER’S BEST FRIEND FICS I SHOULD CHECK OUT PLEASE COMMENT (seriously please I love this trope so much) AND I WILL ADD THEM TO THIS LIST.

➪ Newer Additions are in PINK!

➪ Newest Additions are in BLUE

[pumpkinpaix]

Hello! Feel free not to answer this question if it is in any way too much, but I've been wondering about something concerning the "western" mdzs fandom. Lately, i have seen multiple pieces of fanart that use what is clearly Christian symbolism and sometimes downright iconography in depicting the characters. I'm a european fan, but it still makes me vaguely uneasy. I know that these things are rarely easy to judge. I'm definitely not qualified to do so and was wondering if you have an opinion

Hi there! thank you for your patience and for the interesting question! I’ve been thinking about this since i received this ask because it?? idk, it’s difficult to answer, but it also touches on a a few things that I find really interesting.

the short answer: it’s complicated, and I also don’t know what I feel!

the longer answer:

i think that this question is particularly difficult to answer because of how deeply christianity is tied to the western art and literary canon. so much of what is considered great european art is christian art! If you just take a quick glance at wiki’s page on european art, you can see how inextricable christianity is, and how integral christian iconography has been in the history of european art. If you study western art history, you must study christian imagery and christian canon because it’s just impossible to engage with a lot of the work in a meaningful way without it. that’s just the reality of it.

Christianity, of course, also has a strong presence in european colonial and imperialist history and has been used as a tool of oppression against many peoples and nations, including China. I would be lying if I said I had a good relationship with Christianity--I have always faced it with a deep suspicion because I think it did some very, very real damage, not just to chinese people, but to many cultures and peoples around the world, and that’s not a trauma that can be easily brushed aside or reconciled with.

here is what is also true: my maternal grandmother was devoutly christian. my aunt is devoutly christian. my uncle’s family is devoutly christian. my favorite cousin is devoutly christian. when I attended my cousin’s wedding, he had both a traditional chinese ceremony (tea-serving, bride-fetching, ABSURDLY long reception), and also a christian ceremony in a church. christianity is a really important part of his life, just as it’s important to my uncle’s family, and as it was important to my grandmother. I don’t think it’s my right or place to label them as simply victims of a colonialist past--they’re real people with real agency and choice and beliefs. I think it would be disrespectful to act otherwise.

that doesn’t negate the harm that christianity has done--but it does complicate things. is it inherently a bad thing that they’re christian, due to the political history of the religion and their heritage? that’s... not a question I’m really interested in debating. the fact remains that they are christian, that they are chinese, and that they chose their religion.

so! now here we are with mdzs, a chinese piece of media that is clearly Not christian, but is quickly gaining popularity in euroamerican spaces. people are making fanart! people are making A LOT of fanart! and art is, by nature, intertextual. a lot of the most interesting art (imo) makes deliberate use of that! for example (cyan art nerdery time let’s go), Nikolai Ge’s What is Truth?

I love this painting! it’s notable for its unusual depiction of christ: shabby, unkempt, slouched, in shadow. if you look for other paintings of this scene, christ is usually dignified, elegant, beautiful, melancholy -- there’s something very humanizing and humbling about this depiction, specifically because of the way it contrasts the standard. it’s powerful because we as the audience are expected to be familiar with the iconography of this scene, the story behind it, and its place in the christian canon.

you can make similar comments about Gentileschi’s Judith vs Caravaggio’s, or Manet’s Olympia vs Ingres’ Grande Odalisque -- all of these paintings exist in relation to one another and also to the larger canon (i’m simplifying: you can’t just compare one to another directly in isolation etc etc.) Gauguin’s Jacob Wrestling the Angel is also especially interesting because of how its portrayal of its content contrasts to its predecessors!

or! because i’m really In It now, one of my favorite paintings in the world, Joan of Arc by Bastien-Lepage:

I just!!! gosh, idk, what’s most interesting to me in this painting is the way it seems to hover between movements: the hyperrealistic, neoclassical-esque take on the figure, but the impressionistic brushstrokes of the background AAA gosh i love it so much. it’s really beautiful if you ever get a chance to see it in person at the Met. i’m putting this here both because i personally just really like it and also as an example of how intertextuality isn’t just about content, but also about visual elements.

anyways, sorry most of this is 19thc, that was what i studied the most lol.

(a final note: if you want to read about a really interesting painting that sits in the midst of just a Lot of different works, check out the wiki page on Géricault’s Raft of the Medusa, specifically under “Interpretation and Legacy”)

this is all a really long-winded way of getting to this point: if you want to make allusory fanart of mdzs with regards to western art canon, you kind of have to go out of your way to avoid christian imagery/iconography, especially when that’s the lens through which a lot of really intensely emotional art was created. many of my favorite paintings are christian: Vrubel’s Demon, Seated, Perov’s Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane, Ge’s Conscience, Judas, Bastien-Lepage’s Joan of Arc, as shown above. that’s not to say there ISN’T plenty of non-christian art -- but christian art is very prominent and impossible to ignore.

so here are a few pieces of fanwork that I’ve seen that are very clearly making allusions to christian imagery:

1. this beautiful pietà nielan by tinynarwhals on twitter

2. a lovely jiang yanli as our lady of tears by @satuwilhelmiina

3. my second gif in this set here, which I will also show below:

i’m only going to talk about mine in depth because well, i know exactly what i was thinking when I put this gif together while I can’t speak for anyone else.

first: the two lines of the song that I wanted to use for lan xichen were “baby, I’m a fighter//in the robes of a saint” because i felt that they fit him very well. of course, just the word “saint” evokes catholicism, even if it’s become so entwined in the english language that it’s taken on a secular meaning as well.

second: when I saw this scene, my immediate thought was just “PIETÀ!!” because LOOK at that composition! lan xichen’s lap! nie mingjue lying perpendicular to it! the light blue/white/silver of lan xichen in contrast to the darker robes of both nie mingjue and meng yao! not just that, but the very cool triangular structure of the image is intensely striking, and Yes, i Do love that it simultaneously ALSO evokes deposition of christ vibes. (baxia as the cross.... god..... is that not the Tightest Shit) does this make meng yao joseph of arimathea? does it make him john the evangelist? both options are equally interesting, I think when viewed in relation to his roles in the story: as a spy in qishan and as nmj’s deputy. maybe he’s both.

anyways, did I do this intentionally? yes, though a lot of it is happy accident/discovered after the fact since I’m relying on CQL to have provided the image. i wanted to draw attention to all of that by superimposing that line over that image! (to be clear: I didn’t expect it to all come through because like. that’s ridiculous. the layers you’d have to go through to get from “pretty lxc gifset” --> “if we cast nie mingjue as a christ figure, what is the interesting commentary we could do on meng yao by casting him as either joseph of arimathea or john the evangelist” are like. ok ur gonna need to work a little harder than slapping a song lyric over an image to achieve an effect like that.)

the point of this is: yes, it’s intentionally christian, yes I did this, yes I am casting these very much non-christian characters into christian roles for this specific visual work -- is this okay?

I obviously thought it was because I made it. but would I feel the same about a work that was written doing something similar? probably not. I think that would make me quite uncomfortable in most situations. but there’s something about visual art that makes it slightly different that I have trouble articulating -- something about how the visual often seeks to illustrate parallels or ideas, whereas writing characters as a different religion can fundamentally change who those characters are, the world they inhabit, etc. in a more... invasive?? way. that’s still not quite right, but I genuinely am not sure how to explain what i mean! I hope the general idea comes across. ><

something else to think about is like, what are pieces I find acceptable and why?

what makes the pieces above that reference christian imagery different than this stunning nieyao piece by @cyandemise after klimt’s kiss? (warnings for like, dead bodies and vague body horror) like i ADORE this piece (PLEASE click for fullview it’s worth it for the quality). it’s incredibly beautiful and evocative and very obviously references a piece of european art. I have no problem with it. why? because it isn’t explicitly christian? it’s still deeply entrenched in western canon. klimt certainly made other pieces that were explicit christian references.

another piece I’d like to invite you all to consider is this incredible naruto fanart of sakura and ino beheading sasuke after caravaggio’s judith. (warnings for beheading, blood, etc. you know.) i also adore this piece! i think it’s very good both technically and conceptually. the reference that it makes has a real power when viewed in relation to the roles of the characters in their original story -- seeing the women that sasuke fucked over and treated so disrespectfully collaborating in his demise Says Something. this is also!! an explicitly christian reference made with non-christian japanese characters. is this okay? does it evoke the same discomfort as seeing mdzs characters being drawn with christian iconography? why or why not?

the point is, I don’t think there’s a neat answer, but I do think there are a lot of interesting issues surrounding cultural erasure/hegemony that are raised by this question. i don’t think there are easy resolutions to any of them either, but I think that it’s a good opportunity to reexamine our own discomfort and try and see where it comes from. all emotions are valid but not all are justified etc. so I try to ask, is it fair? do i apply my criticisms and standards equally? why or why not? does it do real harm, or do i just not like it? what makes one work okay and another not?

i’ve felt that there’s a real danger with the kind of like, deep moral scrutiny of recent years in quashing interesting work in the name of fear. this morality tends to be expressed in black and white, good and bad dichotomies that i really do think stymies meaningful conversation and progress. you’ll often see angry takes that boil down to things like, “POC good, queer people good, white people bad, christianity bad” etc. without a serious critical examination of the actual issues at hand. I feel that these are extraordinarily harmful simplifications that can lead to an increased insularity that isn’t necessarily good for anyone. there’s a fine line between asking people to stay in their lane and cultural gatekeeping sometimes, and I think that it’s something we should be mindful of when we’re engaging in conversations about cultural erasure, appropriation etc.

PERHAPS IT IS OBVIOUS that I have no idea where that line falls LMAO since after all that rambling I have given you basically nothing. but! I hope that you found it interesting at least, and that it gives you a bit more material to think on while you figure out where you stand ahaha.

was this just an excuse to show off cool (fan)art i like? maybe ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(ko-fi)

[toomanyfandoms02]

Jealousy // Draco Malfoy x Reader

Summary - Reader hangs out with her best friend Blaise and -Someone- gets jealous.

Word Count - 1k

Warnings - implies sex

Jealousy was a common thing to experience from Draco. He was probably one of the most protective people I had ever met. So I was use to it.

But that didn't mean it made it any easier to deal with.

Besides Draco, Blaise Zambini was my best friend. It had been that way our whole lives. Our mum's were best friends and they even got pregnant with us around the same time. So we were bound to be close knit.

And it stayed that way.

I was currently sitting at the 3 Broomsticks with Blaise, sipping a mug of Butterbeer and laughing at some inside joke he had recited. Draco had said he wouldn't be able to make the Hogsmeade trip this weekend, he had to study for an upcoming Transfiguration exam. (He never really paid attention in that class.) So of course I told him that was fine, I would go alone.

But I happened to run into Blaise.

"So how's everything going with Draco? He seems a lot happier than he's been since we were little." He commented, snacking on his biscuit. I smiled at the question, I was glad he was *noticeably* happier with me.

"Things are going really well I think. I know how much of a dickhead he can be but he's never treated me with anything but respect."

"He's definitely got a soft spot with you that I don't think he has for anyone else." He nodded with a laugh, I thought so too.

We had spent the whole day together shopping, I even bought Draco a little present I thought he would like. With the help of Blaise.

After a few hours, we took a carriage back up to school together, mostly because I knew I would need help carrying my bags.

I was kind of a shop-aholic.

Blaise grabbed 3 of my 5 bags, helping me heave them to the Slytherin Common Room.

"Pure-blood." I said to the portrait, it promptly opened so we could drag in my bags of wasted money.

I saw Draco on the couch, a quill in one hand and a thick, (I assume Transfiguration textbook.) in the other. He looked up from it, eyebrows furrowing and lip twitching in the slightest.

"Hello Blaise." His voice sounded spiteful, as if he wasn't talking to one of his friends. Blaise smiled and waved awkwardly, setting the bags at my feet.

"Hi Draco." He looked back at me. "Thanks for hanging out with me today, it's been a while." He patted my shoulder, leaving for the dorms.

In an instant the textbook was shut loudly, making me nearly jump from my skin and hold my heart.

"Bloody hell Draco, what's wrong?"

"I thought you said you were going to Hogsmeade alone today." He pressed, folding his parchment into his book.

"I did go alone, but I ran into Blaise so we had a drink and did some shopping." I gestured to my pile. Then it clicked, he was making the face.

The face where his lip was slightly down turned, eyebrows furrowed only slightly. One eye brought into the slightest glare, but not enough to look angry. Just enough to look *jealous*.

"Wait a second, are you jealous?" His facial expression dropped, turning into wide eyes and red tinged ears.

"What? Of Blaise? Why would I be jealous of Zambini?" His words came out rushed and high pitched.

"Wow, you sound incredibly convincing." I laughed, grabbing his hands. "Theres no need to be jealous, Blaise and I are just friends, always have been, always will be."

"I'm not jealous!" He pouted aggressively, taking his hands from mine and crossing them at his chest. I dug my head between his arms so my head was on his chest, and hugged him.

"Sure you aren't." I giggled. His arms loosened and wrapped around me properly.

"I just felt bad that I couldn't spend the day with you, that's all. And he got to." His chin rested on my head.

"If it makes you feel better, I bought you something." I released from his grip, searching for a smaller bag. Once I located it I pulled the tiny box out with a smile and handed it to him.

"Here, open it." He gave a puzzled look before opening the box. It held a ring in the form of a coiled snake with shiny green eyes. He smiled at it, slipping it onto his ring finger.

"I love it Darling." He went to bring me in for a kiss but I stopped him.

"Wait! Look at the inside of it." He slipped it off, turning it in the light so he could read the engraved message.

*16-04-1996*

*Y/n*

He smiled widely, just staring at the small lettering.

*His Y/n*

"And I got a matching one." I showed him the inside, mine saying the same but instead, his name. "Now we can carry a little piece of eachother everywhere." I commented. This time I let him bring me in for a kiss, lightly grabbing my jaw and tracing it.

"Blaise helped me pick it out." I said between kisses.

"Don't talk about him while I'm kissing you." He laughed breathily onto my lips, pulling me into his lap on the couch with him.

"Then who should I talk about?" I giggled, teasing him. He flipped us so he was hovering over me on the cold leather.

"Who do you think?" He replied intimidatingly, those icy eyes boring into my soul.

"You tell me!" I sat up and pecked his lips. He gave a playful eyeroll and came down to me, passionately kissing me. He ran his hands through my hair and down my body. His mouth now trailing kisses down my jaw and neck.

"Do you think we should move this to my room?" He whispered against my neck.

"Probably dimwit." I lightly shoved him off of me, getting up from the couch and grabbing him by his tie. "Wouldn't want to get caught by a poor first year." I laughed, beginning to pull him up the stairs.

"I don't even care, as long as I'm with you." He said in a dreamy voice.

"Oh sush Malfoy." I scolded as I shut the door to his dorm.

*Man am I in for it tonight.*

[poppinisperfection]

Cool. || Peter Maximoff x Reader pt. 1 ||

Peter Maximoff x fem!human!Reader

(Y/n) is history teacher.

Requested.

Word Count: 3543

Notes: Peter acts a little strange in this, he's not being cold on purpose - so keep that in mind. Let's all presume (Y/n) is an independent woman who doesn't let an aloof guy ruin her day 💫 it's more of an introduction, so sorry if that dissapoints y'all. I hope you enjoy this extremely long piece of writing, let me know what you think. Requests are open 🙌

Taglist: @amourtentiaa @scorpionchild81

Masterlist

I flicked the indicator, as it clicked rhythmically and signaled my next turn. Grasping the steering wheel tightly, I wondered whether the direction I was heading in was the right one. My eyes drifted down to the small business card that was beginning to wrinkle from the amount of times it had been read and re-read.

‘Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters.

407 Graymalkin Lane, Salem Center, Westchester County, New York’

With a deep breath, I pushed my foot gently on the accelerator and turned the wheel - solidifying my decision. I drove down the graveled driveway as the evening sun pierced through the acres of fields and forests that dotted the landscape. This place was unlike any school I had ever seen. I had taught at various institutions of all kinds during my training, but something about this place was like something out of a fairytale or Jane Austen novel.

The old academic building grew closer as I prepared to slow down my vehicle and stop at the entrance. I peered around, trying to see if there was any places dedicated for me to park; but as far as I could tell, this was the only appropriate place for me to stop. 

I pulled out my key and felt the car’s engine fade to silence. I didn’t notice how comforting the gentle grumbles of the vehicle had been until they were gone. Now, all that was left was my mind and the thousand worries that crashed around inside it. I'm not a mutant, but I often wonder if being anxious about everything is some sort of weird useless mutation that I unfortunately had. 

Before I could become consumed by my menial fears, the vintage wooden doors opened up as if on cue. A man in a chair wheeled out as his familiar face smiled at me, and I was honestly quite awe-struck by his sudden appearance. I had spoken to Professor Charles Xavier on the phone before (for the job interview), and I had watched him on television a few times, but something about actually being near him was so incredible. This man changed the lives of so many people, possibly even the world.

I took a deep breath in and returned the kind smile, opening my car door and placing my feet onto the ground - the gravel crunching underfoot.

"Professor Xavier, it's so good to meet you." I spoke nervously, unsure of what I should do with my posture. Should I shake his hand? Should I high-five him? Should I bow? Okay maybe those last two were a bit far-fetched...

"The pleasure is all mine, (Y/n)." A voice rang through my head, as if it were my own thoughts speaking to me. But I recognized the voice, a smooth English accent that belonged to the world's most famous telepath.

"Incredible..." I breathed. Some might find it intrusive or freaky, but I was quite honored and honestly dazzled by his abilities. A figure appeared behind the wheelchair-bound man, distracting me from my child-like awe.

"Don't be a such a show-off, Charles." my attention turned to a tall man wearing a pair of glasses and a smart checkered shirt. "Good Evening, I'm Hank McCoy." he piped up cheerily, holding out his hand for me to shake. I absentmindedly took it, a bit starstruck by the world-renowned engineer, scientist, blue-furry man, and genius.

"(Y/n) (L/n)." I eventually spoke up, causing Hank to raise an eyebrow at my words.

“’(L/n)’? You're the new history teacher?" I nodded at his question, "Oh wow, you came so highly recommend that I presumed you'd be a bit more... experienced?" he chose his words carefully as to not offend. I know that most people picture an old greying woman who wears outdated fashion when they think of a history teacher...

"Oh, I'm young, I know." I explained with a bashful chuckle. 

“Hank, you of all people should know greatness is not defined by age.” Charles turned to his colleague. 

“I read that you graduated Harvard at 16.” I blurted out. 

“15, actually.” McCoy mumbled humbly. Xavier gave a satisfied smile as his point was proven. 

“(Y/n) here was top of her class, and I have no doubt that she’ll be a wonderful addition to the school.” the wise mutant stated, assuring Hank and giving me a boost of confidence. “Come inside, Hank can carry your bags for you, won’t you?” the professor inquired cheekily as McCoy threw him a look of slight distain. 

“Somedays I wish I wasn’t born with super-strength...” the academic man shook his head - the comment laced with light-hearted sarcasm - before heading to my car and pulling out my two bags, not even giving me a chance to politely object to the offer. 

“Ignore him, he’s just grumpy because he’s not on the mission.” Professor Xavier chuckled, turning his wheelchair around and beckoning for me to follow him inside. 

“I only trust myself to pilot that beauty.” Hank mentioned wistfully, probably referring to his famous aeronautical creation.

“’The mission’?” I questioned with intrigue, trailing behind him and entering the grand entrance.

“The X-Men are on a routine escort mission for the President at the moment,” my attention turned away from the antique décor as I choked on my breath slightly at his words. Of course I had heard of the famous troop of mutant heroes, but it just suddenly became so real. I was living where the X-Men lived. You know, the same X-Men that saved the world from complete destruction. “I was hoping they’d be here to show you around - but duty calls.” Charles finished. 

“Oh of... of course, duty...” I managed to mutter out eventually, earning a slight laugh from the Professor. He didn’t need to be a telepath to read my mind right now. I was so obviously astonished at the whole situation. I couldn’t believe that I was finally here, after months of thinking, considering, and second-guessing. I knew it was a risk, and I couldn’t even return to my parents if it failed.

Let’s just say that my folks weren’t very supportive of my decision to teach at a 'mutant mansion', as they would call it. Maybe it was stubbornness, maybe it was bravery; but I ignored their advice and became determined to come to Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngers. Now it was my only chance, since my family won't be welcoming me back anytime soon.

I followed Charles around, as he showed me all the rooms and explained some of the history as Hank make the odd comment or interjection. Most notably that the house was actually only a few years old, owing to the fact that the school had been blown up and rebuild a year ago. That was a fact that I could’ve gone without knowing. All I could do was hope that it didn’t blow up again, or at least not when I was around anyway. 

"Your classroom will be right next to the library," Xavier motioned towards a pair of wooden doors that lay open for students to walk freely into, "and feel free to check out any of the books as well - I have a few secret shelves for teachers, with some unregulated research papers on pre-20th century mutations, if that sounds interesting to you?" he added with a playful smile, as I nodded my head in admiration. This place sounded like an absolute dream, and I've only been here for less than an hour.

-------

As we strolled (and wheeled) down the wooden hallways, I noticed the students disappear one by one. By the looks of it, the early night had truly set in, and the majority of children were either in their rooms studying or hanging out in a common area.

"I suppose there's nothing more we can show you until the class starts tomorrow morning, I was really hoping that the team would be back by now..." Xavier gave a short sigh and furrowed his brows slightly, "But I suppose I've prolonged your tour as long as I could. Perhaps Hank, you could show (Y/n) to her room and she can rest in preparation for tomorrow." his smile returned as he asked his colleague for another favor. McCoy nodded his head and gave me a polite smile, still carrying around my bags from earlier. Maybe he didn't anticipate the Professor giving such an expansive and detailed tour of the mansion, so the bags must've been getting burdensome at this stage.

The spectacle-wearing teacher walked ahead of me and strolled towards the grand staircase that lead to the upstairs area (which we had previously travelled to earlier, but it's mainly bedrooms that we couldn't intrude into). I trailed my fingers along the carved bannister of the staircase, admiring the craftsmanship. Considering the school had been blown apart; this place looked as though it was straight out of a historical drama. The Professor could've went for a more modern update, like the ones you see in magazines and government buildings - but something about the simplicity of 1980s architecture just seemed cold and clinical. I'm glad they kept the historical charm alive.

"So you're really not, well, you know..." Hank broke me out of my daydreaming as he turned his head slightly and paused at the top of the steps. It took me a second to register what he was asking, but then it hit me.

"A mutant? Oh," I gave a meek smile before answering, "No I'm just a regular 'homosapien', completely boring." my sentence ended with a light chuckle at my own expense.

"Then you'll be the first non-mutant teacher here, you're making history." McCoy replied with zest as he began to walk down the hallway again.

"I thought I was supposed to teach history, not make it." I chirped from behind him, earning a snort and chuckle from the nerdy fellow (I know, I know - I'm a superb comedian).

As we passed by the student rooms, I could hear the various sounds emerging from behind their doors. One was gossiping loudly to their friends, another was blasting ABBA and singing along, and I could've swore that I heard some quiet sobs escaping through the keyhole of one door. My face fell into a frown as we passed by, and Hank paused slightly, before turning to me.

"That's Sophie Smith's room, she's homesick a lot." he whispered to me, his features showing concern. "You might have her for a class, so maybe keep an eye out if she's struggling." Hank suggested, as my heart went out for this student. I gave him a nod before we continued on our neverending journey towards my room.

Eventually, we stopped at the end of a corridor and my guide dropped my bags carefully on the wooden flooring. He twisted the door knob with one hand, and I watched as the door opened and revealed my bedroom.

"’Home sweet home’, as the saying goes." Hank uttered with a light tone. I stepped into the room and took my bags from the floor, carrying them in with me.

"It's so..." I breathed, observing the room.

"I know, we were supposed to get the curtains changed last month, but there was a mix-up and it's been dela-" he tried to explain, but I cut him off.

"Oh no! I was going to say, 'It's so perfect'." I clarified, brushing off his embarrassment at the state of the curtains (which were beautiful anyway). I stepped forward and placed my bags at the end of the bed while gazing at the beautiful room. This place was growing on me more and more with each minute that passed. 

“I’ll let you get settled in for the night then, there’s a copy of your timetable on your desk - it has all the information you’ll need for classes and etcetera.” Hank gestured to the neat pile of paper sheets on the wooden desk, “There’s always food in the kitchen, feel free to eat whenever and whatever you want.” he added, as my attention turned to my empty stomach. I will definitely be visiting the kitchen after I get settled in. 

“Thank you, for everything.” I beamed, unable to truly express my gratitude. He returned the smile and nodded, before shutting the door and returning to his business. As soon as his footsteps disappeared, I fell flat on the quilted bedsheets and sprawled out, giving out a pent up sigh. It was the kind of sigh that released anxiety and replaced it with assurance. From the looks of it, things were going to be alright - and there was nothing more satisfying that knowing you made the right decision. 

My brief escape into my feelings was cut short, as my stomach audibly warned me that it was running low on fuel. I turned my head and looked over to the beside alarm clock, reading the time; ‘8:24p.m.’

“Hmm,” I mused as I considered my options, “I should probably read you first...” my eyes drifted to the timetable that sat untouched on the desk. My belly did not agree with this decision, as it grumbled once more. “Okay, alright... yeesh.” I placed a hand against my abdomen, trying to settle the noise. “Food first, read later.” I threw my legs over the side of the bed and resolved to make my way towards the school’s kitchen. 

-------

Finding the kitchen was no problem, as the Professor showed it to me at least three times earlier. I guess he really was trying to stretch that tour out as much as possible. A few of the older students who were hanging around glanced at me as I entered the room. I couldn’t tell if they knew I was a teacher, or if they just thought I was a new student; either way, they didn’t stick around to find out. The group of teenagers grabbed their snacks and left the room once their privacy was interrupted. Honestly, I just think they were gossiping about some pop music band and didn’t want a stranger listening - so I didn’t mind their swift exit. It left me with some privacy as well, which was nice. 

I noticed a small radio sitting in the window sill, and decided to switch it on to break the silence. A static noise rang out as I extended the antenna and turned the knob carefully. Soon a voice grew clearer, and I had reached a station playing something. I just let the song play out, since I didn’t want to bother with searching the airwaves for something else. 

I stepped over to the pantry and surveyed the contents carefully. I was starving, but I couldn’t figure out what for. I picked up a loaf of bread and placed it on the counter, deciding it would have to be a PB & Jelly sandwich. Grabbing a plate, I began to craft my makeshift dinner. Absentmindedly, my head began to sway gently to the tune that played through the tinny radio speaker. It was one of those cheesy love songs that are always playing these days. There was something so catchy about those songs, and instinctively I began to mouth the words and drift into an MTV daydream. 

My brief escape from reality faded away as I noticed a clinking noise coming from the glass and cutlery. It was almost like an earthquake, but I knew that New York was unlikely to experience that kind of disaster (well I hoped so, at least).

A bright light shone outside the window, and I stepped closer to peer out. The basketball court had opened up and revealed a massive basement beneath it. A few seconds later, a black jet descended gracefully from the dark sky and lowered itself underground while the whole mansion trembled with the power it created. I swiftly grabbed the jam jar as it almost slipped off the edge of the counter, and stared in awe. 

“So that’s where they keep it...” I breathed out as the basketball court returned to its normal state, as if nothing had happened. I stood in wonder for a few seconds, still holding the jar tightly in my hands. That was probably the most of the X-Men I’d be seeing tonight. I’m no expert on presidential mission debriefing, but I presumed the team of elite heroes wouldn’t be mingling with the common folk upstairs for at least an hou-

“Ugh, this song’s a real bummer.” 

I nearly jumped out of my skin as a voice suddenly quipped from beside me. My attention hastily turned to a combat uniformed young man - quickly flicking through the radio stations. I stared at him, half confused and half terrified of his sudden appearance. Slowly I began to recognize his features; silvery hair, aloof attitude, and of course, the recognisable X-Men uniform. 

“Hey - you’re that guy...” I tilted my head slightly as I spoke without thinking. In a split second, he appeared at the fridge wearing an entirely new outfit, this time more casual. The music had changed to something more rock-y and alternative, matching his aesthetic. I was almost certain of it. I couldn’t remember his name, but I’ve definitely seen him with the X-Men on the news. I was almost certain of it.

“Nah, you’re thinking of a different guy.” he responded without second thought, while lifting out a can of some kind of soda. I felt my mouth contort in confusion, bemused by his comment. 

“I...” my thoughts paused to phrase my words correctly, “You were just wearing an X-Men uniform, you’ve got to be him.” I managed to retort, causing the confident fellow to raise an eyebrow. With the blink of an eye, he had disappeared from my sight again. 

“So, you don’t even know his name - and you’re convinced he’s me?” the silver-haired guy stated nonchalantly from behind me as he sipped on his drink. I gasped and grabbed my chest in surprise, not expecting him to sneak up behind me like that. I gave a sigh and prepared to answer the question. 

“I know, I’m sorry.” I closed my eyes and wracked my brain for a moment, “Peter, right?” I sighed, finally recalling the speedy mutant’s name. I looked up at him and expected some sort of witty remark. Instead, he just stared at me for a few seconds. I avoided his gaze awkwardly and looked down at the jam jar that still sat in my hands. Clearing my throat, I placed it carefully onto the counter beside me - trying to distract from his sudden silence. 

“Oh.” I mumbled at the change of topic, “I am. Only arrived here a few hours ago. The Professor showed me around earlier, with Hank, I saw all the classrooms and it was really quite-” I harped on, “I'm sorry, I'm rambling..." my voice lowered, as I watched the casual fellow open up a bag of pretzels and munch on them absentmindedly. He gave a soft chuckle at my apology.

“So, you’re new here?” for the third time, he appeared in a different location, leaving me to turn around one more time. He faced away from me, opening a drawer and surveying its content silently. 

"Cool." he replied simply, placing a few more pretzels into his mouth.

"Cool." I repeated gently, trying to decipher his aloofness. This 'Peter' was blunt, distant, and almost cold. It was as if I had offended him somehow. I stared at my surroundings for a brief moment, before deciding to get off of the wrong foot.

"I'm sorry if I was rude earlier; or was it that I couldn't remember your name?" I tried to find the reason for his indifference, wringing my hands with nerves. Peter raised an eyebrow and scowled slightly at my question.

"Rude?" he asked with a shocked tone.

"Yeah, I thought I offended you?" I explained.

"Nah, nah, we're good." he shrugged my theory off and zoomed over to the bin, throwing the crumpled wrapper in it. "I gotta go now, X-Men stuff." Peter turned to me and excused himself. I gave a soft 'oh' in surprise, and held out my hand for him to shake (just a teacher habit, I guess).

"Nice to meet you anyway, Peter." I smiled at him. The silvery guy just stared at my hand and then looked back up to me - but for some reason, avoided my eyes.

"Cool." he said again, before disappearing from sight; leaving me standing there, alone, holding my hand out for no one. Slowly I lowered my wrist and cleared my throat.

"Cool..." I said to myself, still entirely confused by the interaction. My attention quickly turned to the change in music. The radio suddenly shifted from the grungy tunes, back to the end of love ballad that I was listening to earlier. He must've changed it back. I tilted my head and stared at the little radio in the window, listening and thinking.

Maybe he wasn't as cold as I thought. Maybe I'll try and get a better conversation from that silver-haired boy tomorrow. Maybe I'll get that handshake from him. Maybe.

Still, the only thing that matters right now is that I eat that PB&J sandwich.

-------

[unfinishedjulyrainarchive]

💝 for yuya, fenrir, imani, loki, & miran

Send a 💝 and my Muse will ramble on about how they presently feel about yours. | @honorxlies

YUYA: "I love Tooth with all my heart. She was the puzzle piece I was missing ever since I was a child and only she completes my heart, makes me whole. Her soul is filled with love and kindness for others, you just feel how much she cares for all the children. I know I can't do this job for her but if I could, I would do it in a heartbeat. So hence why I try my best whenever she is with me, I will never grow tired of it because she gives me so much love and energy in return. And, she is my first love. I have been crushing on her back when I was younger, it's such a silly thing to say out loud. I am truly lucky. And happy to be with her.

FENRIR: "Kaa's one of a kind. And I mean it in the best way. What other way would there be anyway? While... how can I say it, the instant physical attraction was the reason we got closer, I certainly fell for her soul. Yes, I know how cheesy that sounds but no, I don't care. She knows how to protect herself and I know she can. Just, if she allows me, I want to be there for her, too. I want her to know she has a shoulder to lean on whenever needed. The loneliness we both experienced before, I don't want it to surround her any longer."

IMANI: "I have yet to figure out what we are to each other but one thing is for certain: Deimos was there for me when nobody else was. He could've just left me in the dust with some stupid comment yet he took me with him. I can't deny that I feel quite drawn to him, my thoughts kept wandering to places they shouldn't have but all in all, his presence is not only soothing my paranoid mind, it reminds me to keep moving forward. I can't stay hidden and stay in the shadows all my life. I am reckless and still stupid, I know that. But he makes me challenge myself, I want to thank him for that. Also, don't let him know I think he's handsome."

LOKI: "Phobos... she's incredible. There is only one person I usually allow to tell me what to do and that is myself. But she captivated me from the very first moment. We were alike yet we weren't, her sharp tongue and witty replies caught my attention. I still have no idea whether she is truly interested in me or not yet I follow her like a lovesick fool. And Loki Laufeyson doesn't follow anyone. For some reason, I feel like I'm at home whenever I think of her. Which for once, is an incredibly honest remark of mine.

MIRAN: "Mirana's fire; it can burn you but also warm you up when you feel cold. She's a gorgeous woman with an equally gorgeous mind and-- allow me the thought, that in itself is enough to make me fan myself. That aside, with her I feel like I get to live life a little. Be present in the moment. The rest doesn't matter if I can't enjoy the here and now, and she reminds me of that daily. How to make her happy is a daily goal of mine. The time we share together is my most precious possession."

[spencers-dria]

Entranced by Her Touch

Someone To Stay Ch. 16

Spencer x fem reader

Spencer POV:

"What is all this?" She turns to me, a twinkle of excitement in her eyes.

"Well I know how much music means to you, and I've never had the pleasure of hearing you play."

I see the color drain quickly from her face. "Spencer I...I can't! It's been years! It wound sound..."

"Beautiful. I know anything you play would be beautiful. You'd be surprised how long muscle memory sticks around. You know, muscle memory allows us to do things like swimming or riding a bike without stopping to think or analyze each movement. The longer you played the more likely it will have stuck with you."

"Eight years" she whispers, running her fingers across the top of the keys, lightly enough to not make a sound.

"Eight years that's...wow umm...yeah I think it would be a fair assumption that you probably remember more than you realize, especially pieces you played the most, or that meant the most to you."

I realize the position I have put her in. I don't know why I didn't consider the possibility that she may be too shy to play in front of me. I guess I was just so used to seeing her be completely herself around me.

"Y-you know you r-really don't have to. I'm sorry if I made you feel pressured. If you want we can just..." I feel my confidence fade as I pull at my fingers. I keep my eyes glued to the floor, afraid to face the reality of rejection if I dare to look up. That's before I feel a soft touch on my arm. I look up to see her soft smile and the twinkle that has returned to her eyes. That's all it takes to break down any insecurities building up like walls within me.

"Spencer, I would love to." She gives my arm a reassuring squeeze. "Just give me a minute to do some boring. cheesy scales and stuff. It's been so long. I don't think I can jump in without some kind of warm up."

I turn on my heels and begin to walk off the stage, headed to my seat. I glance over my shoulder to see her propping up the lid and sitting to adjust her dress on the bench. She makes sure to get acquainted with the pedals in her heels. I smile at how happy she looks, how comfortable to be at a piano once again. It doesn't take a profiler to see how much it meant to her. I know I've made the right choice for tonight.

I settle in a seat as she finishes warming up. I can tell she's nervous as she lets out a few deep breaths, vigorously shaking her hands to try to rid them of any tremors that threaten to intrude on her performance. She takes in one last deep breath as she glances over towards me. I give her a smile and thumbs up. She laughs in response, seemingly less nervous. I'm glad I could help her in some capacity, if even for a moment.

https://youtu.be/x5ibvz38jOs

As she places her hands down, she begins to play a soft, lullaby like melody. I see the tension begin to fade away as the song picks up and she gains more confidence. It took me a moment to recognize the song, only because I had been so focused on her. It's a beautiful theme from the Deathly Hallows. How perfectly fitting, seeing as our movie nights brought us so close together.

After a minute or so, her demeanor changes along with the music. It's deeper, darker. Her face becomes more serious as I watch her pour all of herself into the music. I start to feel something, assuming it comes from the bass-like boom of the grand piano as it stretches to fill every crevice of the elaborate theater. My breath hitches in my throat and my eyes start to water. I rub at them, confused by my reaction. I'm sure there's all kinds of dust that's been stirred up.

I continue to watch her, completely mesmerized the way such dainty hands can play with such strength, such emotion. A memory quickly flashes through my mind.

"Music is so much more than just notes, Spencer. It can make you feels things you've never felt, understand your own emotions, or express them."

I had simply taken the comment as something that described her, and how she felt. For the first time I really feel the music resonate with me on an emotional level. I feel wonder and sorrow and enchantment all at once. Is this what she experiences on a regular basis? Is this why she's always listening to music, or talking about it? It's incredible to see the passion she has overflowing so effortlessly into the music.

I had planned this part of the date in an attempt to see her happy, but also to try to understand her in a new way. I never expected to learn or feel this much. She's so much more complex than I could ever fully understand, but I want to try to learn as much about her as I can.

The song quickly changes to another melody I recognize from the movies. I can practically hear the emotion in ever chord. How does she do that?

Before I know it, I'm standing on the stage behind her, unsure of how I got there. She doesn't seem to notice. She is pouring every ounce of herself into the keys.

I take a few steps closer just to be able to observe her hands. As the song slows, I notice her eyes are closed. She's not even looking at the keys anymore as she continues to the end.

She takes a deep breath in and opens her eyes. She looks out to meet my eyes but is met with a seemingly empty room. Anxiety and fear that I have left fill her eyes before I step closer, sliding onto the bench.

"Oh! You scared me for a second" she laughs. "Well, there ya go. I don't know it as well as I used to and there were definitely plenty of mistakes." Her confidence from only a minute ago starts to leak out with every self-criticism.

"Y/N stop." I reach up to turn her face toward me so that she has to look me in the eyes. I want her to see the truth and sincerity in them.

"That was...beautiful." I run my thumb over her cheek, enjoying the softness of her skin, the way she leans into my touch. "You're beautiful." I feel butterflies erupt into a flutter in my stomach at my sudden confession.

Her eyes dart down for only a moment before I see her nerves return. I decide to take a leap of faith as I slide my hand to the back of her neck, locking my fingers in her soft waves. I wait for just a moment, to read her response.

She leans in, resting her forehead against mine, not breaking eye contact. She looks into my eyes like they have the answers to the universe. She leans in just a bit more, nuzzling her nose against mine as her eyes flutter shut. She lets out a breathy giggle and I can't help but smile, laughing with her. There is something unbelievably beautiful about this moment, the racing of our hearts, the shared breath, the softness of her touch. I want to do more than just commit it to memory, like anything else in my life. I want to savor it, the sound of her laugh, the smell of her perfume, the feeling she gives me.

Unable to hold back any longer, I pull her in, kissing her gently, careful not to push her any further than she's comfortable with. She seems to have ideas of her own, placing her hands on the back of my head to pull my much deeper into the kiss. I lose all track of time and my surroundings, completely entranced by her touch.

She finally pulls back, looking at me as though I'm her favorite person in the world. "I hope this isn't a bad time to tell you... I'm crazy about you" she finally says, holding back a smirk.

I burst out in laughter. "Goofball" I jest, pulling her in for another quick kiss. "I almost forgot, I uhh...well I have something I learned for tonight."

"Spencer Reid, you learned a piece just for me?" she stands up to give me space to play.

"You don't have to go, if you don't want to." I try to hide the completely pathetic look I know is on my face. But I didn't want her to leave my side. Being with her is the comfort I need to get through this without my extra nerves.

She can see the neediness in my eyes. Based on the smile on her face as she sits back down, wrapping her arm around my waist, and I don't think she minds.

As my hands start to play the notes I had spent a few weeks learning, I look over to see her eyes light up at the sound of Where Is My Mind. I can't help but smile, proud of my success in bringing her joy.

The song is simple, not nearly as complex as what she had just performed for me, but that wasn't the point. Based on the look on her face, I can tell she remembers and that it means something to her too.

When I finally finish, I look over to see her wiping her eyes. "You remembered" she says quietly through a few sniffles.

"Of course I remembered." I turn my body on the bench to face her properly.

"Y/N, I asked you here tonight because I think it's time I showed you just how much you mean to me. This isn't new. This isn't sudden. I'm nothing if not extremely analytical and thorough."

She lets out a small laugh through tears now trickling down her face. I would be worried if it wasn't for the pure smile of joy she is unable to hold back.

"So believe me when I say I have thought about this for a long time. Pretty much since that very day." I know I don't have to elaborate; she already knows exactly when I am talking about.

"Y/N I love spending time with you and getting to know more about you each day, but I would be kidding myself if I pretended that I only wanted friendship with you any longer. I hope I'm not being too forward, and I apologize for setting this all up and asking you without any warning. I know I probably put you on the spot to join me on this date but..."

My spiral into self-doubt is cut short by the feeling of her lips on mine. I feel myself melting into her once again, worried I may never want to come back for air.

She eventually pulls back opening her mouth to respond to what I feel was quite an embarrassing display of my emotions.

"Spencer, I have been trying to figure out my feelings for you for so long. I had just been working up the courage to say something to you, but it seems you had plans of your own. This is more than I could ever..."

Tears fill her eyes once more, spilling over as she starts to turn her head away.

I scoot in to wrap her in my embrace. "Hey, hey its ok, shhhh." I rub my hand across her back, hoping to sooth her. After a few deep breaths she finds her words once again.

"This is more than I could ever ask for, ever dream of. No one has ever done anything like this for me before. No man has ever...cared this much about something I love. In so many past relationships I felt as though they were merely tolerating my quirks, including all the things I am so overtly passionate about. Tolerating me until they just...left. All I've ever wanted was someone to appreciate how passionate I can be and won't let it scare them away. Someone to stay."

I feel my heartache knowing that she has felt this way for so long. I lift her chin as I lean in to give her one gentle kiss before pulling away to whisper, "I'm not going anywhere."

A/N: I hope everyone is still enjoying the story! Let me know your thoughts in the comments 😁💖

Also sorry for how gushy this is but it won't always be that way so enjoy it while it lasts 🙊

[rhetoricfemme]

Oh, I'm glad to see you writing more about Ouran. I hope it won't bother you, but do you plan only to write about KyoKao? I mean, I undestand you ship them, but there's more about Ouran than just KyoKao. It's nice to get out the comfort zone, right? I hope the muses can help you to write about other Ouran characters and ships.

Okay.

I know you mean well, here. And if I’m not mistaken, youmight be the Anon who’s sent me requests before while specifically asking forno KyoKao.

But here’s the thing. It’s my writing. I share it because itpleases me to do so, but I’m writing these things for me.

I’ve been writing Ouran for four years now, and have plentyof stories with various ships, and some standalone pieces for individualcharacters on AO3 and FF.net. I have notebooks full of Ouran writing. For allthe characters. And an unpublished few ships. Not all of it is good, as it were,nor am I interested in developing a lot of it. But…

They’re mine to do whatever I please.

At the start, I mainly wrote for KyoHaru, then found my voice formy first real OTP, TakaHaru. People seemed to love that, and I’m grateful forit.

And I remember the very first time I wrote anything forKyoKao—the only ship to unabashedly blow me out of the water. If you want toknow why, go ahead and ask, otherwise that’s a lengthy enough story for anotherday.

But yes. I remember the very first time I wrote somethingfor KyoKao. I posted it late that night, as I was wont to do, because it was alwaysnice to wake up to a comment or two. This time, however, it wasn’t a sweetsentence or two. It was a full on rant about how my writing was garbage andthat I disgusted the reader. It was paragraphs long.

It had no bearing on my inclination to keep writing orposting, much less any influence on what ships I would or wouldn’t write for. I’mway too stubborn for that.

For more than two years, every single time I posted a KyoKaostory, this particular Anon would leave me a nasty comment about how I’d postedyet another KyoKao story, why the hell another KyoKao story? Their commentsbecame increasingly awful; starting at a simple annoying complaint, until theyactually began cursing, telling me how awful my writing is, and that I shouldnever ever write again.

I’m positive these were always left by the same person,largely for the structure of the comments, but also because they’d alwayscomment within an hour or two of my posting. Sometime within the half hour. Formore than two years.

And if that didn’t stop me from writing this ship, I can’timagine anything else is going to, either.

You’re absolutely right when you say there is so much elseto Ouran. I adore all of the hosts, have elaborate thoughts on backgroundcharacters, and have color-coded my manga to easily reference certain families.So if you want to have a conversation about anything Ouran, just message me aquestion or an idea, and we can meta chat until you’re tired of it.

But if I’m in a position to write, the only thing that’sgoing to stop me from writing Kyoya and Kaoru as a couple or as individuals isme.

Also, my muses are alive and well, thank you. I’m currentlyin the middle of a JeanMarco fic that I am absolutely in love with. And let mejust say: I struggled to write for SNK, and this ship in particular for years.I wanted it so bad, but it always came off as unmoving or contrite. I had toconstantly step outside of my comfort zone to write them. Now that I’m simultaneouslymoved and creatively confident enough to write it, I’m going to be doing that,too.

I’m sure other ships will pop up in the future in mywriting. I desperately want to write several things for Hikaru, in particular.But I’m not going to force myself. Life is incredibly busy and full of responsibilityand sacrifice, and that’s just how it is.

So please understand when I say that I won’t be influencedby either cruel or kind words, however persistent they may be. I say itplainly, without aggression or ire, when I say that my writing will only changewhen I’m ready for it to.

[ganymedesclock]

Mary Sue Keith anon here. What I meant by "special snowflake origin story" is his being a mysterious alien foundling with ties to empire and rebellion. The writers are giving Keith all the toys powers wise AND major story connection wise while Pidge, Hunk, and Lance get barely anything aside from like, befriending one random alien race each (Olkari, Balmera, mermaids). I'm afraid of this becoming the Specialest Boy Keith Show feat. Shiro and Allura

(2/2) Keith and Shiro and Allura absolutely are special snowflakes compared to Pidge, Hunk, and Lance, regular unpowered humans. Pidge at least has the story with her family but oops wait Shiro will be the one to find Matt.

...I’m kind of at a loss here, anon. I feel like we haven’t been watching the same show. So let’s just. Let’s crack out the highlight reel here shall we?

Pidge is an incredible prodigy who not only effortlessly integrated with alien technology, something nobody else on the team, including Keith and Shiro, were able to do and this was explicitly noted and commented on.

She also personally retook the Castle near-singlehandedly while Keith could do nothing but sit on his butt outside the barrier and Shiro was held hostage. Facing career soldiers. How did that go again? “Haxus is dead and you’re next!”

And was integral to reuniting the team after the season one finale and unsubtly saved Coran and Allura from the wormhole loop, where they were completely helpless.

And “this thing with her family” happened to involve repeatedly breaking into a literal military base, at age fourteen, without a whole arsenal of spy gadgetry, and after getting literally banned from being anywhere near said base to try and stop her from getting in, constructed an entire fake identity using stuff around her house and joined as a student, pretty clearly testing ahead of her grade level.

Oh, right, and what was she doing when we first saw her? Just eavesdropping on alien transmissions. It’s okay Galra empire it’s not your encryption, it’s just the fact that Pidge is a terrifying technological wizard and no one can keep her out of anything, ever. Seriously, show me an algorithm in show that Pidge didn’t crack while not being able to read galran or altean.

Also she jailbroke the Green Lion. Let me just reiterate that: Pidge took a piece of ancient magical technology that is probably actually a living creature in a mechanical shell and was like “I’m going to make you turn invisible.” and this was such a goshdanged non-issue we didn’t even see Pidge do it onscreen. Just took a leisurely afternoon and made a giant metal Lion able to completely disappear because she studied one piece of technology with the power to hide itself in one setting. Which has been plot relevant multiple times that the team��

Actively ran the entire show on the Beta Traz mission, she was giving Lance and Shiro the orders.

She’s also basically Voltron’s designated getaway driver even though as she pointed out in episode 1 she’s literally never had a day of pilot training in her life.

Lance was pretty clearly the second best pilot behind Keith. “Clockie,” you might say, “that’s not impressive.” Yeah except Keith seems to be pretty much Spiderman, remember the druid fight in s1e10? Keith can tell where things are relative to him without looking. He has literal superhuman reflexes. Lance competed with this person. And did great. The reason why we see him crash in the simulator is because he misjudges the time it takes for his ship to pull around, it has nothing to do with his sense of the controls. Keith called him the worst pilot at a point where Lance wasn’t doing anything, Blue was just having a nice gallop.

Speaking of which it’s made explicitly clear Blue is totally ignoring both Shiro and Keith. We haven’t even heard a whisper of the Black or Red Lions at that point, just Blue, and Blue is specifically here for Lance and only Lance, can’t give anyone else the time of day.

(and it’s not like Blue made a wormhole when none of the other Lions did. Good thing THAT’S not going to be plot relevant ever, clearly)

I’m a little intrigued by your claim that Lance “made friends with” the mermaids and that it’s just comparable to the Balmera or Olkari. Because that’s sure not how I remember that episode. I seem to remember Lance saving their entire civilization nearly alone (just him and the rebels), figuring out that their enemy wasn’t who they thought it was, making the right decision to hear Luxia out at a key moment, and having to outmaneuver Hunk, who was holding absolutely nothing back, and defeat him without injuring him. Cause... y’know... on the Balmera and Olkarion, there was a minor thing of Pidge and Hunk had the whole rest of the team right there backing them up.

It is not remotely an exaggeration to say Lance can hit a target the size of a dime while falling backwards in zero gravity when the person he’s shooting at has a thrashing hostage and if Lance shoots wrong he could easily kill said hostage and doom the entire mission and Lance said “I’ve got this” with zero hesitation, took a breath and went for it in a way that suggests Lance, the chronically insecure, is so unbelievably good at this it didn’t even occur to him to hesitate. This is the gunslinging equivalent of “could hit a perfect bullseye and then split the arrow with your next shot and then split that arrow with the shot after that.” Just “I’ve got this.” and he did. 

Earth means the most to Lance as it’s his home and pretty inevitably the conflict is going to go there.

Also, minor technicality but he saved Coran’s life and the team’s darkest, most desperate hour, the fall of the Castle, was centered around Lance being in critical condition, which doesn’t exactly make sense as a writing decision unless he’s sort of completely integral to how things operate.

Which happened because he was able to in less than five seconds tell two identical robots apart from each other because one was acting the wrong way. And then he woke up during his own rescue and hit Sendak square in center mass while so heavily injured he could barely stay conscious. 

Hunk is pretty blatantly Alfor’s successor and there’s no way in hell that isn’t going to be a plot point, just for starters.

He’s also a brilliant engineer who has brought us quality moments such as “well there’s an element that doesn’t exist on Earth and I have absolutely no possible experience with it and we’re in a desert shack with limited tools but I could totally just build a machine to find it no problem,” and “hotwiring this alien mine elevator while under fire is so trivial that I won’t even stop complaining or look at what I’m doing more than the occasional sidelong glance. And I’m done, about that quickly.”

And a world-class chef that has been shown that with a single exception where he accidentally used an inedible ingredient (and ended up saving everyone’s lives because of it) on account of not being able to read any of the packaging, everything he makes is delicious and in Space Mall he was such an instant hit that practically everyone shopping wanted to eat there. And incidentally, one of those wild cooking successes he just barged out into an alien planet and was able to successfully identify and classify what was edible. But clearly that doesn’t take any talent or effort at all right, I’m sure any rube could do the same. 

Hunk was the main man rescuing the Balmera, and it’s not like the Balmerans are longstanding allies or were integral to the plan in season 2. Or like in Ark of Taujeer, he held up that colossal thing singlehandedly several times to the point that he awakened a new ability doing it.

His weapon is a colossal artillery piece that probably weighs about as much as a good-sized dairy calf and he can and has held it one-handed with a relaxed arm.

He was the main person rescuing Allura in s1e11 and they then bailed out Shiro.

On that note: the list of things Hunk has stared down and picked a fight with includes Haggar, and a literal gigantic planet-eating monster with a death laser. The latter he volunteered to fight, utterly unprompted, and got mad at it for ignoring him.

The same episode Keith specifically stated that Hunk’s intelligence was integral to their survival. Hunk also figured out basically everything about how the Weblum worked. 

During the mermaid arc it was made pretty dang clear that a Hunk not holding back could probably destroy each of the other paladins in single combat. If Lance hadn’t had that antidote fish with him he would have been dead, and he was just lucky Hunk kept it to close combat and didn’t pull out his bayard. As it was he just bodily threw Lance around like the guy was made of tissue paper.

And just as a followup I’ll say: This show has seven protagonists. Are we really forgetting this quickly that in season 1 Keith was very much on the back burner and didn’t get a single episode centered on him except maybe s1e10 which he was actively splitting with Shiro and Allura? 

Can we maybe trust Dreamworks and Studio Mir of all people to know how to balance a dang cast?

Especially when you’re sorting Pidge with the “people who got utterly shafted” and Allura with the “people who have everything” but I’ve heard the exact same complaint talking about how Shiro, Keith, and Pidge get all the plots and Allura is someone who gets sold short.

I really can never... get complaints like this. There’s plenty to work with for all the core team, and if you want someone who really hasn’t been developed and remains pretty dang mysterious to us throughout seasons 1 and 2 both, I’d say Coran is a huge candidate in that regard considering dude’s a 600-year-old magical alien and we’ve got peanuts on his history at this point, but almost nobody even mentions him in their diatribes that Lance isn’t getting enough love.

(Which, frankly, my sympathy’s a little dry at this point considering Lance is the fandom darling and you can’t walk five steps into most fanwork without tripping on the kid. But, sure, tell me there’s not nearly enough there for him.)