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lovrre · 6 months ago

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Agreement Prt2

I wrote half of this to Need by pinegrove ♫

Art Donaldson x fem black reader

Prt1 here

Word count: 3k

Warnings: smuttt,unprotected sex, creampie,slight breeding kink if you squint. cursing (ofc) slightly domestic relationship (not with Art)and probably some other stuff.

Summary: Despite being engaged to one of the top and richest tennis players in the US, you feel unfulfilled. But everything changes when you transfer schools and meet Art Donaldson, who just can’t quit you.

Author note: I’m so glad I finished I was scared I wasn’t, but your comments gave gave me motivation. Thank you pookies 🫦 I like this one a lot more than the first one. Arts also very obsessed and in love in this one.

After twenty minutes, you finish your meal, alone. You decide to leave through a back exit to avoid the paparazzi waiting outside the hotel entrance. You stumble upon a narrow hallway and carefully make your way out, trying not to attract any attention. When you reach the entrance of the restaurant, you open the door and are greeted by a charming and seemingly empty establishment. The cozy yellow lighting, old pictures, and paintings on the walls, along with the white tablecloths and wooden woven chairs, remind you of an old Italian restaurant you and Art used to go to. You see moving in your peripheral and catch a glimpse of familiar golden locks.

You walk closer to see Art and Patrick sitting at a small square table with a vacant seat, you assume is reserved for you. Patrick with a full plate of food and Art without. "Patrick?" You question, your voice filled with suspicion as you creep towards the table. He looks back at the sound of your In voice, a smile forming on his face as he stands up, “What the hell are you doing here?” You ask, taken aback going in for a hug. Patrick returns it with a laugh before releasing from the hug slightly to look at Art.

“Ask him” You look between them confused. “I asked him to come here” Art states, adjusting in his seat. “Why?“ you ask clearly confused with the situation, “someone could see” you add your gripping the back of your chair almost afraid to sit down. “I bought the place out for an hour, it’s just us” Art reveals looking up at you. “You what?” you exclaim, a bit louder than you intended.

“I’ll explain everything in a minute, just sit” Art laughs, gesturing for you to sit down. You let out a sigh, reluctantly pulling out your chair. “Ok tell me what is going on” you say, slightly impatient. “We’ve got a plan for your marriage situation”, Patrick says, mixing his ice tea with his straw. “A plan?” you repeat, still confused. "Yes, a plan," Art confirms with a nod. Patrick takes a quick sip of his tea before opening a tan folder that he hadn't noticed before. “The private investigator dropped these off at the dorm the other day”, Patrick says, pushing the open folder towards you.

Inside were pictures of your fiancée , kissing all types of women. The worst part is, it was so obvious, he didn’t have a care in the world, every photo taken on different days in different settings. Outside, inside in the morning and at night, all different women.

You knew you shouldn't be upset, but you were, not because he was seeing other people behind your back, shit you were doing that same with Art, but it was the fact he acted holier than thou. That he continued to try and control you while actively putting your agreement at risk. “Wow…” you mutter.

Shuffling through the photos. “That’s not even all of them” Art says.

“Yeah… I accidentally left the other ones, but these are the most important ones. There’s also some paperwork underneath with names, time stamps and dates on stuff” Patrick ads. “How isn’t this everywhere?” You ask, furrowing your brow. “The investigator thinks he’s been paying them off,” Patrick says, taking a sip of his drink.

"Not that I don't want you here, but couldn't you just have faxed these over?" you ask, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, yeah... but then I'd miss the match," Patrick says with a grin, taking a bite of his food. "Plus, I would never miss an opportunity to help my best buds."

"Okay, so what are we doing with these?" you ask, holding up the pictures in confusion.

"We're going to spin it," Patrick replies, still chewing his food. "My plan," Art reminds him, "my bad," Patrick laughs, still chewing his food. You couldn’t help but smile, you’d missed the three of you together.

"We're going to spin it," Art repeats, making you smile wider. "Is this why you're training with my father?" you interject . Art nods in response. "Why didn't you tell me any of this last night?"

Art didn't say anything, a knowing smile spread across his face. Patrick looks between the two of you "freaks," he jokes, "Anyway... how do you plan on spinning it?" You ask, ignoring his comment.

“We lean into the infidelity, take a couple of photos of you crying, the two of you arguing, or something like that release them”, Art explains confidently.

“But… I don’t see how this stops us from getting married, it’ll just look like I got cheated on,” you say, scrunching your brow.

“We’re hoping this, plus me winning today, will be enough to persuade the media against him?”

“You believe you can win?”

“I do,” he nodded.

“Okay… I’m down.”

“Told you,” Patrick added, still drinking his tea.

“Are you especially thirsty or something today?” you ask, tilting your head slightly watching him slurp down his tea. A second one untouched, waiting for him.

“I am actually, thank you for noticing,” Patrick says with a big smile before taking another sip. You notice Art's eyes drop to Patrick’s plate for a second time while you two are talking.  “You should eat.”  “What?” Patrick says, looking between the two of you who seemed to be having your own conversation.   “No, I’m okay,” Art says, shaking his head.  “Mike had French toast for breakfast, I think you could have-“ you cut yourself off, looking down at Patrick’s plate. “Egg and sausage.”  “You guys aren’t talking about my food?” Patrick asks, slightly disturbed by your conversation.  “Patrick, I can buy you some more damn eggs,” you assure him as Art pulls the plate from under him.  “What just happened?” Patrick asked, looking around confused with no food in front of him.  Your phone rings, and you look down to see who it is. “It’s my Dad,” you inform, excusing yourself you answering the phone as you walk out of earshot.  The two of them watch your backside as you walk away. “She still looks good”, Patrick bites his lip, leaning over to Art.   “Careful, ” Art warns.   “What? you guys can joke about but I can’t?”   “Exactly”, Art laughs, plucking him on the head.

~~~~

With a dig, the elevator door opens, releasing you to your floor. You walk to your room, opening the door with your key card. Mike is packing stuff away in his duffle bag, getting ready to see your father. You don’t acknowledge him walking past him into the bedroom,leaving the door open. You sit on the edge of the bed carefully taking off your heals, you stand up and unzip the back of your dress with ease. The dress gracefully falls into a pile at your feet leaving you in only your underwear. You step over your dress and begin looking through your suitcase located in the closet. The sound of footsteps causes you to look up to see Mike in the doorway watching you.   “Where are you going?” Mike asked, leaning on the door frame slightly. You don’t answer right away looking for your dress under your neatly folded clothes. “There’s a press meeting with Art Donaldson's team, My Dad thought it’d look good if I’d came ” you say, moving more clothes around. “You didn’t come to mine” Mike states still watching you search.  “You didn’t ask me to” you responded, pulling out a light pink dress from your suitcase. There’s a beat of silence as Mike watches your actions "and you need to change for this press meeting?” Mike asks, raising an eyebrow. "No, but I want to” you say, standing up. When you see mike's eyes roaming up and down your body, you suddenly remembered you were only in your underwear.    “Can you turn around or something” you ask, scrunching your face up in disgust. “I’ve seen more than this” Mike chuckles before obliging and turning around. You roll your eyes by stepping into your dress. “I’m sorry for how I acted this morning, I’m just stressed,” he admits.  " Really?," you hum, pulling up the straps of your dress.  "I don't want to be that guy," Mike responds, still facing away.  "But you are constantly being that guy..." you mumble, but Mike hears you.   "I won't anymore. I want this marriage to work y/n, I.”   You release a heavy sigh at his word. “You can turn around now ” You announce zipping up the side of your dress. Mike turns around and watches as you sit back on the edge of the bed putting on your heels. “You’re still going to that thing?” Mike asks with a confused expression. “What about that conversation gave off the vibe that I was no longer going?” You say pulling your stiletto over your heel.   Mike goes silently for a moment watching you walk toward the bathroom. “Like you need more makeup?” Mike scoffs. “Be honest with me are you fucking him?” He asks from behind you in the doorway while you remove a bit of smudged lipstick. “are you serious right now?” You ask staring at him through the reflection in the mirror. “I’m not a fucking idiot, I saw the way you looked at each other, and I get the feeling that’s wasn’t your first time meeting”    “Only god knows what you’re doing at that college” you can’t stop your self from laughing. “I think you’re projecting” you say walking past him towards the door, picking up your purse on the way. “Where the fuck are you going?” Mike calls out, following you.   You swing the door open and step out into the hallway. Mike trails behind and tries to grab your arm to pull you back inside. “DONT TOUCH ME!” You yell yanking your arm back. “C’mon Don’t make a scene” Mike says looking around.    “You have some fucking nerve, you know that? Your friend Isabel came up here earlier looking for you, I’m guessing you guys have a lot of fun In Detroit” you say with a smile. “When were you in Detroit again…my birthday? You ask rhetorically, Mike goes silent for a moment before responding.  "I don't know what you're talking about," he says, trying to keep his voice down. "You don't?" you question. "What about Sarah, Kim, Kate, Alex? Do you not know them either?" Mike opens his mouth, then closes it. "Yeah…" you drawl,    "they meant nothing to me... I just needed to get it out of my system before fully committing. I want this to work, I want this to be real, y/n," Mike says, trying to corner against the door in a situation similar to the one you were in with Art last night.

"That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard," you respond, attempting to push past him. He grabs you again using his strength. You had forgotten how strong he actually was. “Last warning” you say looking up at Mike. he can tell by the look in your eyes you’re serious, he doesn’t know exactly what you’re going to do but something in his gut said don’t test it. “Let. Go” you repeat one more time before a voice interrupts you.

“Is everything ok?” Patrick asked from the end of the hallway. "Yeah, everything's fine," Mike reassured with a smile, gently releasing his grip on him. "We'll continue this conversation later," Mike says, forcing a tight-lipped smile as he presses the elevator button. "No, we won't," you smile back with a wave, as the elevator door chimes and he leaves. "Are you okay?" Patrick asks, walking up to you. "Yeah, he wasn’t going to hit me, he knows better," you laugh. "I was actually more concerned about you hitting him," Patrick jokes.

“I got the picture though” he smiles, showing you a camera and clicking through the images of your altercation with Mike.”These are good, you should take them now, I’ll call Art and tell him I’m on the way” you say, pulling out your phone.

“I’ll miss the game” Patrick states with a slight pout.

“Not if you hurry.”

~~~~~

"I won't keep you much longer, just a few more questions," the female interviewer says, holding the microphone up to Art. "Was the training for this upcoming match particularly challenging?" Before the interviewer could finish her sentence, Art was shaking his head. "Not necessarily, different for sure, but not harder."

"As of now, can you confirm or deny the rumor that you have started working with Olympic Coach Dylan Y\L\N?" the interviewer asked, lifting the mic slightly closer to his mouth. "Ummm," Art hesitates, accompanied by a smile. "I think I can. Yes, Dylan is my new coach."

"So you and your opponent today have trained under the same coach?" the interviewer asks, scrunching her brow. "Yes, we have," Art nods. "One more question, is there any special woman in Art Donaldson's life right now?" the interviewer asks with a smile. The sound of camera clicking intensifies, catching Art's attention. Intrigued, the interviewer turns around as well. "She is beautiful," Art says absentmindedly, staring in the direction where you're coming from. You give small waves to friends as you walk in. "That's your opponent's fiancé... and I guess also your trainer's daughter?" the interviewer says, looking confused and turning back to face Art.

"Really?" Art asks, faking shock with a dazed expression. "Yes," the interviewer nods. "I mean.. I meant what I said, She is beautiful," Art said with a laugh, causing the interviewer to join in. His eyes never leaving you. "Does your coach know you have a crush on his daughter?" the interviewer joked, chuckling. "He might now," Art says with a laugh before giving a quiet , "Nice meeting you," as he walks away out of frame.

A short while later, you find yourself reaching for a bottle of water from a nearby table, inserting one of those adorable green straws they had. Just as you're about to take a sip, a voice catches you off guard from behind. "There you are," Art says, a smile lighting up his face as he jogs towards you. As he approaches, you can't help but notice how close he gets, almost too close.

"You're not exactly great at keeping secrets, huh?" you chuckle, taking a step back. Art smirks, "Can't two friends have a conversation?" Peeking over your shoulder at the ongoing interviews, you reply with a straw in your mouth, "We're not even supposed to be friends. You're supposed to be my Dad's client, or from what I heard your crush." You laugh, recalling a question from one of the interviewers. "You're going to get us caught," you whisper quietly into the straw.  "I understand. I can't stand next to my trainer's daughter," Art nods, "Orrr, my opponents, fiancé, but maybe can I stand close to my crush?" Art asks.   “I think you could, yeah” you nod trying to keep the smile on your face. “Crush it is,” Art says with a smile taking a step forward, yet still maintaining a slight distance. “Did you get the pictures?” Art asks his eyes falling down to your lips. “Yeah, we got them," you confirm with a nod, unable to hide your smile when you notice his lingering gaze. “So we’re in the clear?” his eyes still fixated on your lips, as if he's ready to pounce. "Not yet," you laugh, taking a step back. "We have to wait for them to go to press." Art throws his head back with a strained laugh, and you can't help but watch his Adam's apple bobs up and down. You hadn’t realized until that moment how much you wanted him, it was an all consuming need.

“Just one day," you murmur, unsure if you're speaking to Art or yourself. "Just one day," Art echoes, his eyes now fixed on your neck, his finger brushing your curls away. You watch as he exhales shakily, looking at the fading hickeys on your shoulder, barely hidden by makeup. "Just one day," you remind, removing his hand from your chest. "Just one day," Art repeats, tearing his gaze away to look back up at you. "Your car is here, Mr. Donaldson," a man in black approaches and announces.  “One minute” Art says, gesturing for another second. The man nods in acknowledgment and walks away. “Come with me?” Art asked. “I don’t think that’ll look good.” You alluded to the countless people with cameras surrounding you.  “I couldn’t care less” Art says, shaking his head slightly. “I’d kiss you right here, if you’d let me ” Arts words catch you off guard, and you take a deep breath to try to steady your heart beat.   “This planning stuff is more for you than me, so you can feel more comfortable. And I’m perfectly fine doing it,’s just …” he trails of his eyes falling back down to your lip. "Alright, I'll come," you rush out, convincing yourself it's to prevent him from kissing you right then. But deep down you knew you just wanted to be near him. You follow closely behind.  Art swiftly enters the car before you lean up, capturing you with a kiss. Before you could even fully step inside, his hand gently grasped your cheek, drawing you closer to his lips as he guided you into the vehicle. Lost in the intensity of the moment, you surrender to the kiss. practically falling inside. The sound of the car door closing behind you brings you back to reality, but the kiss continues to deepen. Suddenly, the driver rolls up the partition, creating a sense of privacy.

A sense of responsibility tugs at you, and you reluctantly break the kiss when Art's hand starts to wander up your bare leg. "We can't," you whisper, "We don't even have a condom," you add, hoping the driver couldn’t overhear.   “You’re right” Art mumbles, sitting back against the seat trying to catch his breath. “ I lost myself for a second” Art laughs, attempting to slow his heartbreak. ”After the game I’ll come to your room” you nod, looking forward trying to gather yourself. “Don’t talk about that, talk about something else” Art says his voice coming out more strained. “Like what?” You turn around and ask. Your eyes landing on the strained erection in his pants. “Oh!” You say, snapping your head back forward. The familiar ache of your core comes back, and you have to bite the inside of your cheek in an attempt to control yourself.   Against your better judgment, you take another peak. His hard shaft still straining against the fabric, you could damn near see the veins on his dick. “Can I?” You ask in a voice barely above a whisper. “Y-yeah” Art replies with a nod agjusting in his seat. You rub your hand back and forth against the Arts bulge while listen as his breath becomes more and more ragged.   Art makes a low moan and that’s enough for you to begin unzipping his pants. Against his better judgment he stops you. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah” you nod breathlessly, fumbling with his pants, pulling them down until his dick springs free. When you begin pumping his shaft, he takes in a sharp breath which causes you to smile. You savor the feeling of his heavy dick in your hand, trying to combat the thoughts of his thick long length inside you. When Art's hips buck into your hand, you fold. “I need you inside of me”, Art opens his mouth to protest and then closes, watching as you bunch up your dress around your waist, pull your panties to the side and straddle him. He grabs your waist with one hand and lines himself up with your entrance with the other.    You sink onto him with a little too loudly of a moan and Art does the same. Opening his mouth for a sloppy kiss, he doesn’t wait for you to adjust to his size, moving you up and down his dick by your waist. ”shit I-“ Art groans out a wave of pleasure hitting him. “-I can’t go back to condoms” he moaned, scrunching his brow in pleasure. You laugh and Art quickly retaliates by slamming you hard down on him. You let out a loud moan reflexively using your hand, trying to pull off slightly.  Art moves your hand out of the way, holding you down on him by your waist. “I’m serious”, Art grows leaning forward for another kiss while returning to his previous, rhythm. His words cause you to squeeze around him, and he lets out another low ground throwing his head back, breaking the kiss.    “I’m not going to last much longer” Art says breathlessly. “Just a little longer baby” you coo, leaving kisses on his Adam’s apple down his neck. “You drive me crazy, you know that” you moan feeling his pace fastest. “I do?” you feel Art smile against your cheek. You nod, falling into the crook of his neck enjoying the feeling of him fucking into you. “I want you to cum in me” you whisper, kissing the crook of his neck. “Fuck” Art groans, throwing his head back again. “You’re going to kill me” he states with a strained laugh.   You feel your release building so you decide to taunt him. ”you don’t want to fill me up?” You ask innocently, removing your head from the crook of his shoulder. Look down at him with lust, filled eyes. “Don’t” Art warns, his grip on your waist tightening, “you don’t want to give me a baby?” You huff out trying to keep your voice steady literally feeling him in your stomach. “Fuc- shit shit shitttt” Art moans holding you down onto him filling you up with his cum. His moans echoed through the car, the poor driver.    “Fuck,” Art states after a minute. “Yea fuck,” you laugh, leaving a kiss on his cheek. “I think I might have a breeding kink”. Art laughs, “Me too,” you say with a smile, leaving another kiss on his head. You feel him twitch inside you, and knowing Art, you knew he would be ready for round two in a minute. You try to get off, but he holds you tighter, keeping you stationary.   “I want it to stick” he smiles. Oh his smile, you rolled your eyes. You loved him, you knew it now, and you had a feeling he did too. You had been lying to yourself pretending you liked you didn’t care as much as he did. But at that moment you knew you never wanted anyone but him.    You glance out the window to see you were seconds away from the stadium, and then you notice your father standing on the sidewalk. “Oh my god! MY DAD HERE” you say, scurrying out of Art's lap. Art looks out the window, seeing your father standing on the sidewalk expectingly. “Shit” Art huffs, sitting up slightly, pulling up his pants, you take a wet rag next to the champagne and quickly wipe the inside of your leg. You quickly fix yourself before rushing to wipe off any remains of your lipstick off his mouth with your hand.

"Oh no, do I have lipstick on my mouth?" you ask frantically. "Nope, all clear," Art replies with a grin, planting a quick kiss on your lips. "Art," you warn, settling back in your seat. "My bad," Art chuckles, getting ready to exit the car. The car come to stop and your dad Yanks open the door.

"Hurry up, we're late. Mike's already inside," your Dad urges, When he sees you, his expression turns puzzled.

"We were heading in the same direction, so we decided to ride together," you explain before he can say anything. Your dad eyed you both suspiciously. "Alright, let's go," he says, ushering Art into the building. You wanted to say goodbye or wish him luck, and you could sense Art wanted to as well but it would be just too obvious.

You step out of the car, rummaging through your wallet. You tap on the driver's window, and he rolls it down. "Sorry about that," you apologize, handing him a 100 dollar bill before heading into the building.

Once inside the stadium you sit next to your Dad’s team which was now also partially Arts team and somehow also Mikes. Your phone buzzes and look down to see a familiar unsaved number.

“I think your Dad on to us”

“What did he say?” you text back anxiously your fingers moving fast on the keys.

“Nothing really, but i think he knows”

“Did he seem mad?”

“Not really”

“That’s good” you send, letting out a sigh you didn’t know you were holding in.

“Good luck :)” you add before stuffing your phone in your purse . Almost immediately your phone dings and you pull it back out.

“You gave me enough of that in the car ; )” you can’t help but smile at his corniness.

“You’re nasty.”

“Not as nasty as you” you’re about to laugh at his message when you hear a voice directly behind you. “You guys are actually freaks” Patrick says with a laugh jumping over the seat so he was directly next to you. “I applaud you guys for staying consistent at least” Patrick says lightly hitting you on the shoulder. “Can you mind your business” you say rolling your eyes, stuffing your phone in your purse.

“Actually I’ve been minding you two’s business all day with no pay by the way” Patrick adds. “So I think I’ve earned the right to be a little nosy” Patrick says making a pinching gesture.

“So you delivered the pictures?”

“Yes” he responded with a nod

“Thank you” you express your appreciation, turning your attention back to the court.

“Do you think he’s gonna win” Patrick asks leaning in slightly, curious to your answer.

"I hope so, but I don't know. I haven't seen him play in a while," you admit with a weak smile, the reality of the situation sinking in. "I really hope he does win," you mumble.

Author note : GUYS FEEL FREE TO COMMENT I LOVE READING COMMENTS

#black reader #art donaldson x black reader #art donaldson smut #art donaldson #challengers fanfic #challengers #Art Donaldson breeding #patrick zweig #Spotify #challengers fic #mike faist #mike faist smut #art donaldson x female reader #art donaldson x reader #art donaldson fic

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kayhi808 · 2 months ago

Text

First Crush - 15

Steve, not knowing what Abby likes or didn't like, played it safe with pepperoni pizza. She said she liked the red round circles, so that was a safe bet.

Steve watched as she climbed up onto her chair with the booster seat. She made him nervous with some of her near misses. He was ready to move quick if she tipped over the chair or lost her footing. "You need help there, Abs?"

"No need. Tank you." She finally plops her bottom in her seat and Steve's able to release the breath he was holding. Earlier, she had instructed him on where to find the plates and glasses in the kitchen. And where to get her favorite cup for her juice because she can only drink out of that one. The other cups made her juice taste funny.

"I liked the stuff on top," picking off all the cheese and pepperoni and leaving a naked slice in her plate.

"I don't think your mom likes you to eat like that."

Nodding and licking her hand, "Uh huh."

"Abbbyyy." Steve gives her a pointed look, trying to look serious.

She cackles, hiding her laugh behind her hands, getting more pizza sauce on her face. "I almost tricks you!" She rolls up her naked pizza slice, holding it in her little fist and eats it like a churro.

"You can't be tricking me like that. I don't want to get your Mama mad at me. Do you want me to be in trouble?"

"No. I's just tricks you."

"If I get your Mama angry with me, she won't let me watch you or come over anymore."

Abby let's out a dramatic gasp, "No. I's sowwy. You my uncle. You needs to visit me now."

Steve smiles. "That's right. I'm your Uncle."

Suddenly Abby bites her lip and looks close to tears. "Uncle Steve? I did bads."

"What's wrong, Abby?" Steve patiently waits for her to continue. "I tricks you before. Mama only let me have 2 stories before sleeps. Not 3."

"You know what? I think we can make this a special treat tonight. I'm ok with 3 stories."

Abby squeals, jumping down off her seat and running around the table to Steve. She tugs on his arm so he can lean down and she gives him a greasy pizza kiss on his cheek. "Tank you so much!!"

Trying to dodge her sticky hands, he plops her back in her booster. "How about you finish up your pizza for me?"

Abby does a happy little wiggle in her chair and continues to eat. Steve grabs another slice for himself but can't help but pick off a couple pepperonis and added it to Abby's plate. "Tank yous!"

After dinner, Steve tried to clean Abby up the best he could. She had pizza sauce everywhere. He even had little red handprints on his shirt.

She had her little dance party after dinner. "Awexa? Play Abby's Dance Party, pwease." It's a mix of Disney and her favorite pop songs. Steve's personal favorite was a song "I'll Make A Man Out of You," because Abby insisted on singing to him along with a reenactment of the movie. He adds "Mulan" to his list of movies to watch. Steve also got a quick tutorial on Taylor Swift. He was also surprised she had music from the 1940s. "Oh, Mama needed to learn new dances." Abby shakes her butt, "like dis."

"Oh, like that, huh?"

"Yup."

******

You and Bucky return to your apartment. Steve is on the couch watching TV. You scan quickly to see if Abby is around. "How'd things go?"

"Great. She's in her room. Asleep." You walk down the hall to check on her. She's tucked in, all snug.

Returning to the living room, worried, "Did she give you any trouble?" You notice the hand print on his T-shirt.

"Not at all." Looking down at his shirt smiling. "She's a little aggressive when eating pizza. It'll come out in the wash. It's nothing. We drew and colored, had dinner, a dance party and got ready for bed."

"Thank you so much for tonight."

"Of course. Anytime." Bucky gives you a kiss, promising to call you in the morning and they head home.

******

"Mama! Yous home!" You open your eyes and Abby is up close and in your personal space. You grab her and roll her across you to plop her on your bed.

"Of course I'm home. I was only away for a little while," snuggling with your baby. "Did you have fun with Mr. Captain last night?"

"Oh, Mama, guess what's."

"What?"

"He's not Mr. Captain. He's Uncle Steve. He says so."

"Oh, yea?"

"Mmhmm. I told him, my family is you and me. And you know what he tells me?"

Your eyes fill with tears, "What did he tell you?"

"He says now I had a new Uncle, too!" Abby claps for herself. "I has more family, Mama! We not alone!"

"Yea, baby," pulling her close and tucking her under your chin. "We're not alone anymore."

@waywardhunter95 @wintrsoldrluvr @rebeccapineapple @ordelixx @onceithough @crazyunsexycool @thezombieprostitute @ilovetaquitosmmmm @julvrs @unaxv @s-a-v-a-n-a-34 @winterslove1917 @ozwriterchick @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 @mrsnikstan @hisredheadedgoddess28 @itsteambarnes @otterlycanadian @purplecolordeer @samsgirl93 @buckitostan @blackbirdwitch22 @littleredwolf @mcucatlady @silas-aeiou @hzdhrtss @florie1 @thecubanator2 @enchantedbarnes @selella @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @cjand10 @pancake-05

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #steve rogers #abigail rose

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its-avalon-08 · 6 months ago

Note

Hi! i love daniel riccardo and lando norris, can you maybe do one where you are daniel's best friend and end up falling for lando? you grew up in an abusive childhood so daniel is fiercly protective of u, and he doesn't like that lando is flirting with u (daniel and y/n is purely platonic pls),

i'll always be your home (dr3 platonic + ln4)

tw- abusive household

the monaco grand prix was always a chaotic spectacle, but this year, the real drama was brewing off the track. you, ever the loyal friend, sat with daniel in the mclaren hospitality area, dodging champagne showers and lando's relentless teasing.

"hey bubs," lando sidled up, a mischievous glint in his eye, "think you can handle a real yacht party later? not like those snooze-fests danny drags you to."

daniel, already bristling at lando's nickname for you, snorted. "actually, y/n loves classic rock marathons. much better than your dubstep-infused ear torture."

you squeezed daniel's arm, stifling a laugh. "don't worry, honey badger, i can handle both." you'd picked up his playful nickname for himself, a constant reminder of his unwavering support.

growing up in an abusive environment had left scars, but daniel had become your anchor. he saw past your nervous flinches and forced smiles, his protectiveness a constant comfort.

later that night, under the twinkling lights of monte carlo, you found yourself drawn to lando's easy charm. you dueled with him on jet skis, his laughter echoing across the water, a sound that sent shivers down your spine. he felt like home, like a sense of comfort and safety.

noticing your growing closeness, daniel pulled you aside. his smile was strained. "y/n, are you ok?"

"yeah, why wouldn't i be?"

"lando," he said, his voice low. "he can be… a lot."

you sighed. "daniel, i can handle lando. i want to handle him."

silence stretched between you. daniel's gaze softened, a hint of pain flashing through his blue eyes. "i just want to make sure you're happy, safe. you deserve the best, y/n."

tears welled up in your eyes. you squeezed his hand. "i am happy, thanks to you. you're like a brother to me and i love you for it, but… lando makes me feel…" you trailed off, unable to articulate the unfamiliar butterflies in your stomach.

daniel chuckled, the sound laced with relief. "like you're on a rollercoaster? lando can be a bit of a daredevil." he paused, then added, "but if he ever hurts you…"

you finished his sentence with a mock glare. "honey badger unleashed, right?"

he grinned, the familiar twinkle back in his eyes. "exactly. now, go have fun. just… promise me you'll be careful, alright?"

you threw your arms around him in a hug. "always."

the next few weeks were a whirlwind. you and lando went on secret dates, stolen kisses under the guise of "team strategy meetings." daniel, ever the detective, noticed your flushed cheeks and lingering smiles, but a relieved smile played on his lips whenever he saw you genuinely happy.

the sun beat down on the budapest paddock, reflecting off lando's helmet as he peeled it off. daniel, ever the opportunist, snagged him before he could disappear.

"lando, a word?" daniel's voice was quiet, a stark contrast to his usual boisterousness.

lando followed him into a shaded corner, a playful grin fading as he saw the seriousness etched on daniel's face. "alright, mate, what's up?"

daniel hesitated, running a hand through his sweat-damp hair. "look, lando, i know you and y/n have been… hitting it off lately."

lando's grin returned, a touch sheepish. "yeah, she's pretty awesome, isn't she?"

"she is," daniel agreed, his voice heavy. "but there's something you need to know about her."

lando's smile faltered completely. he'd noticed the flinch y/n sometimes had, the way she seemed to shut down in certain situations. he hadn't pushed, but it had gnawed at him.

daniel took a deep breath. "y/n… she's been through a lot. more than you know." he hesitated again, then continued, his voice low. "she doesn't deserve to be hurt, lando. not again."

lando felt a pang in his chest. the playful teasing suddenly felt cruel in light of what daniel was implying. "hurt her? mate, i would never—"

daniel cut him off, his voice thick with emotion. "you wouldn't believe the things she's had to deal with. the strength it takes her just to get through the day…" he trailed off, wiping a hand across his eyes. "i just… i promised myself i'd protect her."

lando stared at him, his heart clenching. he'd never seen daniel like this, so vulnerable. a new respect bloomed for the man who was more than just a teammate, but a fierce protector.

"daniel," lando said, his voice firm despite the tremor in his hands. "listen to me. y/n is incredible. kind, funny, strong as hell. and the way she lights up when you talk to her… it's something special."

daniel looked up, a flicker of hope in his eyes. "you… you care about her?"

"care about her?" lando scoffed, a genuine smile breaking through. "mate, i'm smitten. i haven't been able to stop thinking about her since that night in monaco. but trust me, hurting her is the last thing i'd ever do. i want to make her happy, to be there for her the way you have been."

daniel's shoulders slumped in relief. a watery smile played on his lips. "just… don't mess up, alright? she deserves the world."

"i know," lando promised, a newfound determination burning in his eyes. "i'll take care of her, mate. you can count on me."

from then on, things shifted. lando toned down the teasing, replaced by genuine care. he made an effort to understand your past, offering a supportive ear and a shoulder to lean on.

the hungarian twilight cast long shadows across the budapest track, the last embers of the setting sun painting the sky in fiery hues. you leaned against the railing, the city lights twinkling below, a bittersweet ache settling in your chest.

the race had been exhilarating, a nail-biting finish that left you breathless. lando and daniel did amazingly.

suddenly, a familiar voice broke the silence. "lost in thought, shoey queen?" lando stood beside you, his blue eyes holding a hesitant warmth.

you offered a small smile. "just reflecting on the race. it was incredible."

he nodded, then cleared his throat nervously. "listen, y/n, there's something i… something i've been wanting to say."

his vulnerability sent a jolt through you. you'd seen lando's playful facade, the charming daredevil who thrived on competition. but this lando, standing before you with a tremor in his voice, was captivating.

"alright," you encouraged, your heart pounding a frantic rhythm against your ribs.

he took a deep breath. "these past few weeks… they've been incredible. getting to know you, not just as daniel's best friend, but as y/n. you're strong, funny, and you have this incredible spark in your eyes that makes me want to be a better person."

his words washed over you, each one a brushstroke painting a picture of affection you hadn't dared to imagine. tears welled up in your eyes, a mixture of joy and a fear of vulnerability you hadn't fully conquered.

"y/n," he continued, his voice dropping to a husky whisper, "i know you've been through a lot. and i want you to know, whatever it is, i'm here for you. to listen, to support you, to be your shoulder to cry on."

he reached out, his thumb gently brushing away a stray tear that trailed down your cheek. the simple touch ignited a thousand unspoken emotions within you.

"so," he said, his voice thick with emotion, "would you like to… maybe go out sometime? just you and me. no strategy meetings or champagne showers, just a chance to get to know each other better."

the weight of his sincerity settled upon you, a comforting blanket against your past hurts. you met his gaze, a newfound determination sparkling in your own eyes.

"i'd like that very much, lando," you whispered, a single tear slipping down your cheek, this time a tear of pure hope.

he smiled, a radiant beam that chased away the twilight shadows. in that moment, under the budapest sky, bathed in the soft glow of the city lights, you knew this was just the beginning of something special.

later that night, you found daniel by the pool, a beer in his hand. "so," he said gruffly, "what happened with lando?"

a shy smile spread across your face. "he asked me out. officially."

he raised an eyebrow. "and?"

"and i said yes."

his lips twitched. "about time, shoey queen." he held you in a tight hug. "just promise me one thing."

you pulled back, concern flickering in your eyes. "anything."

"take care of each other. and if he ever breaks your heart…"

"honey badger unleashed, i know."

you both laughed, the sound echoing through the night. you knew daniel would always be there, a fierce protector turned loving friend, and with lando by your side, you were finally ready for something more.

🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️

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melloollem · 8 months ago

Text

Family nights|| Bruce Wayne x Batmom Reader × Batboys

Summary: Your children keep you company after patrol until your husband arrives.

Warnings: English is not my native language.

(DC masterlist)

You were woken by a movement at the bottom of the bed and your first reaction was to reach out to Bruce's side of the bed. Noticing the lack of your husband's warmth at your side, you reluctantly opened your eyes, a sigh escaped your lips and, as you moved your legs, you heard a complaint: "Mom, I'm here". You readjusted your position, with an expression of confusion on your face.

"Damian, I told you not to wake her." It was Tim's turn to speak, his sudden presence startled you, he'd come out of the bathroom in your room, damn vigilante skills, when had these kids gotten in here? "Tsk, you don't even know what happened, I didn't wake her, Drake" you sighed recognizing the scenario that always ended in a long argument between the boys, before Tim could retort arousing Damian's fury you butted in "Ok, you two have had enough of this, let's not do this now" Your body stretched towards Damian pulling him into your arms, while leaning on the headboard.

"Mummy's boy" Jason's mocking voice was heard as he lay down on the side of the bed that belonged to Bruce, had he been lying on the floor all this time? Confusion returned to her face at the thought. "Shut up, Todd, it's not my fault you're too old to be with your mother" Despite Damian's quick response, you felt him tense in your arms, you wouldn't have hugged him if you'd known it wasn't just him and Tim in the room, everyone knew how shy Damian was with displays of affection. Your embrace loosened, but the boy still didn't get off your lap.

"Get your big ass over there, Jason," said Dick as he got up from the floor too, but unlike Jason, he had a pillow in his hand, you couldn't even be surprised anymore. The eldest of your children settled down on the bed with the space left for him, turning to you and saying "Hi, Mom," a half-childish smile escaped him, and you reciprocated in the same way "Can you tell me what you're doing here?" Your tone was more serious than expected.

"Bruce asked us to stay with you," said Tim as he took Damian's place at the end of the bed. "He had some things to sort out after patrol," added Jason. You turned on the lamp next to the bed, all this time the boys were walking around the room with the help of the light from the hallway.

"Actually, father asked me to stay with you until he got back, the others invited themselves" Damian informed "In fact, Dick invited himself and pulled Tim and me into it" Jason let out in a tired grumble. "It would be like a slumber party, according to him" Tim let out a sigh, their eyes turned to Dick waiting for his side of the story and receiving only a shy smile in response.

You glanced at the clock on your bedside table as you said "It's late, one of you go and get him" Referring to Bruce, all of your children let out a tired sigh and before a general discussion started you said "Ok, text him and tell him to come" Dick was the one who picked up his cell phone and sent Bruce a text message, not quite sure how long it would take for him to see it.

You closed your eyes in an attempt to go back to sleep as kicks to your side tried to hit Tim "Damian, leave your brother so I can sleep" the younger man squeaked "But mom, he's lying on top of me" You didn't even have to open your eyes to know that Damian was exaggerating about his brother's current position. "Damian" his tone foreshadowed a reprimand, the boy shut up and moved further away from his brother.

A comfortable hush settled over the room, you hoped to return to your old state, but Tim was in opposition "I don't want to sleep" You abandoned the idea at this point in the discussion, realizing that it would be impossible. Dick quickly retorted "You're the one of us who needs the most sleep" An annoyed murmur escaped Jason "I'm the one who needs the most sleep" He, like you, really wanted to sleep, but it looked like this family was repulsed by the term.

"We can watch a movie" Tim said, you knew he was electric because of the mission, typical attitude. "Sure, look for something" Jason sighed in response to your declaration, he can't believe you gave in so easily. Tim flipped through the catalog, indecisive about what to watch "We could watch a musical, a comedy, a horror movie..." "Your voice is the most terrifying thing tonight," Jason cut off his brother, who continued to ramble on about the different types of movie you could watch.

At one point Tim opted for a mystery movie, you rolled your eyes at the choice, the kids always figured out the mystery before the middle of the movie, ruining the experience. You watched what was supposed to be a movie session turn into a loose conversation after Tim did exactly what you had predicted. They debated the mission, most of them, Jason just mumbled something at one time or another in agreement.

"Does anyone know how to solve this? What's he talking about?" Now they were talking about one of the Charade's riddles, and it seemed that Tim still had no idea what the villain meant. "It's an allusion to mirrors" Bruce was the one who answered as he entered the room, all eyes turned to him and Jason let out a relieved sigh "Finally, I'm going to sleep" He stood up and stretched his body lazily. "What about the movie?" Damian was the one who asked "The script is weak" Tim said following Jason's example and sliding out of bed, now that he had an idea of where to start solving the puzzle there was no reason to stay there.

You watched each of your children leave the room with a brief "good night", you answered each of them, Dick was the last to leave, closing the door. A sigh of relief left your lips, wishing you could finally go back to sleep, Bruce chuckled at your attitude, before sliding in next to you, your eyes following his every move as he got into bed.

"Everything okay?" Your question was prompted by his delay in returning home "Will be" your brow furrowed hoping for a better answer, that kind of vague assurance never brought good news, but all Bruce did when he noticed your expression was leave a quick kiss on your forehead with the same words "Will be", you decided not to ask any more questions, but that subject still circled your mind.

"Family movie?" he asked, turning to the television, intending to change his focus, you followed his example, the movie was still playing in a scene that wasn't so interesting right now "Tim's choice. You're the only one missing" Even though you smiled, Bruce noticed what you meant in those words, but decided to ignore it "What movie is that?" Now he was looking at you. Taking advantage of the moment, you caught the changes in Bruce's image, he looked more tired than usual "I'm not sure, but it looks like we have two killers and one of them is the victim's brother" Anticipating his next question, you added "Tim spared no details".

A silence consumed the room, the two of you staring at the television, wrapped in each other's embrace. You weren't sure how much of Bruce's thoughts were on the movie, he seemed to be thinking about something else, but he wouldn't share it with you. Bruce had made a vow to himself not to bring the dilemmas of vigilante life into rooms with you, too bad he couldn't stop them from plaguing his own mind.

"You know you can tell me everything, right?" You tried to broach the subject gently, wishing Bruce would share his fears with you "Tim has terrible taste in movies" His response took you by surprise, drawing a laugh from you "Said the man from the musicals" You allowed the light tone to take over the conversation "I thought that was one of the things you loved about me" He couldn't believe it "I think that was one of the things you said on our first date" Another laugh erupted from you at your husband's surprised expression, "I'm sorry about that" An amused smile escaped you and Bruce could only smile back at the sight of it.

Your laughter gradually subsided and now you just looked at each other in love "I'm serious about this, you can tell me anything" You took advantage of the comfort of the situation to clarify your speech. "I know that" He seemed to focus on his own thoughts for a second "I love you" Bruce hoped that declaration would be able to quell all your worries. "I know that" You smiled cheekily, but quickly returned to your passionate expression "And I love you too".

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cherrylovelycherry · 6 days ago

Note

Okay, maybe Ratio x gn!reader tarte aux fraises? i know u love ratio muehehe

.note. omg oke oke, i know what i have to do. ( ◡̀_◡́)ᕤ (I always end up writing so many words that I have to erase pieces of the original idea. T_T)

𓂅new order. "tarte aux fraises."

Try hard

pairing. dr ratio x gn!reader cw/genre. angst, academic pressure, ratio being rude, again. synopsis. Like he said, you just need to try hard. And if you can't handle the pressure, what better than to withdraw from medical school? full menu

"No," His eyes on you, by those sharp words, coming together with the other glances of your classmates.

"Uhm, would it be a possible case of appendicitis?" You spoke, something nervous, but your words were almost like a question rather than an affirmation.

"Wrong,"

His voice again, almost as if he were glad of your mistake.

"Are you answering or are you asking me, Y/N?" Ratio spoke, almost with a despicable tone.

You just looked down.

It was almost always the same, for him, all your answers are wrong, he always had to find something wrong with what you said.

"If you're going to answer again as your classmate, refrain from talking and just say you didn't study anything." Ratio said, for all your classmates in the room.

"Honestly, I don't even know why I still continue teaching some of you."

Oh, and you knew perfectly well that he was referring to you.

He says, almost as if your existence were a total nonsense for him.

"All of you are dumb, you all have the same level of intelligence as an Earthworm, maybe a little less than one even." His words come out almost sharp again.

"How can it be possible you can't even answer the simplest question?" Ratio spoke out, almost frustrated by the lack of intelligence on most of his students.

Your cheeks became red, the way Ratio spoke was always so harsh, so harsh and direct, and even more so if it was you who answered a question, he never missed an opportunity to show that you were wrong in front of everyone else.

"Now, that's enough chit-chat, back to the topic." He looked at the board, his expression was somewhat serious, his arms behind his back, as he stood in the middle of the classroom.

"The appendix is a small, worm-like structure that branches off the back of the colon. It's located in the lower right lobe of the abdomen. The main problem with appendicitis is when it becomes infected and then blocks all waste product from leaving the colon." He spoke, standing at the front of the class.

"What does that mean?" he spoke again. This time with a much easier question than he asked you.

"Mhm, you," he pointed to a student.

"…That means all the waste from everything that comes through the digestive system doesn't have anywhere to go, and can back up into all of your abdominal cavity," She said, with some nerves, but keeping her words as firm as she could.

"Correct." He spoke, as he saw her answer, with a much calmer expression this time.

"The appendix becomes inflamed and very sensitive when an infection begins to form in it. You can experience fever chills that go down into your groin like cold water. The most common pain is in the abdomen, specifically in the lower right side. It can be mistaken for a stomach ache, or even menstrual cramps. But with further care, it can be determined as appendicitis." Ratio speaks again, almost a little happier.

"Anyone else?" He asked.

"If there is no intervention, it could explode," this time you dared to speak again, trying to sound firm.

"A precise answer, even from you, for a change," He spoke with a little more than a sarcastic tone, but as usual, he can't seem to say anything without adding an annoyed tone to everything he says.

"That's true. An appendix that is left untreated can burst, or perforate. But not always because of pain close to the appendix area will be necessary to remove or attempt an intervention." He says, as he returns to look at the board.

"If the appendix bursts, the pain might go away, but a much worse process, is going to start. The appendix will begin to break down, and the bacteria and pus from the organ can pass into the abdominal cavity, causing a widespread and severe infection. This is called peritonitis." Ratio spoke, his voice almost firm, and serious again.

You felt somewhat calmer, but still, you couldn't help but feel self-conscious.

Was it necessary that I always talk to you like this?

Because after all, you were his partner.

Ratio kept his eyes on you for a few moments, as if analyzing your expression. He almost always knew when you had those thoughts.

As he finishes speaking, the class bell begins to ring, almost as a sign that the class just ended.

"You are all dismissed." Ratio said, putting his hands behind his back, his eyes looking at the students as they began to leave the room.

You focused on keeping your stuff, without a hurry, because you weren't very excited to eat in medical school. The food wasn't so good or appetizing there.

The room was getting emptier and emptier, except for just the two of you, since you were the last one to leave.

Ratio leaned against the front of the desk, and crossed his arms in front of his chest, he had something in mind to discuss with you.

"Y/N." His voice came out quite firm, and almost demanding.

"Yes?" Your voice almost sounded like a whisper, a whisper of nervousness, still, you answered him.

You could already feel what kind of a talk he was going to have with you now

Ratio seemed quite serious, his eyes almost fixed on you, as if analyzing your every move.

He waited a few seconds before speaking. He still retained his serious expression.

"You're falling behind on a lot of the classes." He spoke, with an almost severe voice.

You just looked down.

He knew that you didn't always answer very intelligently, but it seemed like he just liked using every single opportunity he got to be harsh on you.

His arms were still crossed in front of his chest, keeping his position in front of the desk.

"I know…" your voice came out a little smaller this time.

Ratio sighed, he didn't change his position or expression, on the other hand, yours became somewhat more tense, you already knew that he was far from finished.

"Not only that," he continued to speak, his voice now more demanding.

"You don't usually answer my questions as intelligently as you should. You answer in ways that are almost as unintelligent as the others." he spoke again, his voice slightly higher than before.

"You know you should study more."

Again, a tone that seemed somewhat irritated.

"I am,"

"You're not." Ratio continued, his voice suddenly became very firm.

You can't help but feel even more self-conscious, more tensed than before.

He was right, even if he was, he didn't always have to say it that way.

"I don't even know why you're still in this class, if you've answered right a small percentage of times."

"But i'm trying, Ratio," You spoke, this time directing yourself towards him as your equal, as you did in private.

"Trying," He repeated. "You are just not trying hard enough."

Ratio's hands now moved from his chest, to his sides, still leaning against the table.

That didn't seem to change his expression at all, the same seriousness.

"You need to study more, you need to stop falling behind so much, to be more firm, and at least,"

He stopped, for a few seconds, as if thinking of his next words.

"To answer my questions correctly more times than you already do, stop with this mediocrity."

His tone became almost more severe.

"Honestly, I don't know why you don't take your time to pay more attention." He continued, with that severe, demanding tone.

"You're not in your old secondary education anymore, these are more complex medical concepts to treat complex diseases."

He said again, still keeping his tone and position.

"I'm going to try harder," you said.

"You better."

Ratio's answer was short, but the seriousness with which it was given almost made you even more tensed.

Again, a few seconds of silence, Ratio seemed to be thinking of his next words.

"I'm going to start being more demanding with you…" he spoke, leaning a little more against the desk, his eyes still fixed on you.

"I won't let you pass with the bare minimum in my classes" The feeling you have after you hear those words is the most nervous of all.

Ratio always got that demanding, and hard tone when talking to you about studies.

You know perfectly how serious he was when he said that.

"I won't go easy on you anymore," he says, in a much firmer tone.

"From now on if you don't answer correctly more times than you do now, you won't pass my classes."

Ratio was very strict with his classes, and even more so when it came to you.

"No more mediocre answers, I want you to start actually using that brain that you have." His tone now very demanding.

"You are going to start giving more intelligent answers, and not stupid ones that any other student could give."

A few days have passed since that talk between you and Ratio.

He has become much more demanding, and much stricter with his classes.

His questions were much harder to answer, and he always waited for intelligent answers from you.

He had put you in the spotlight every time you were in class, he had increased the number of questions he asked you, and every time you answered, he seemed to be analyzing your every word.

But of course, you noticed, in your nervousness after saying 'medium-great' answers, how your classmates didn't answers difficult questions like you. Not to mention that there were always two or one student whom he always congratulated for her efforts.

Ratio continued with the same demanding attitude, continuing to set high standards for you.

He kept asking you difficult questions, and even if you answered one correctly, he would go on to another, more complex one.

He didn't miss a single opportunity to point out your failures, and you could always see the satisfaction on his face, whenever you got the answer wrong.

Even now, you can feel his gaze on you, as if he's waiting for you to say something wrong, to see him frown.

The way he seemed to be always focused on you in the class, no matter how hard you answered the questions.

Everyone could tell that even though you were his partner, he didn't spare you from his demands for answers.

You had to constantly use that huge book, and study more and more every day. It was becoming tiresome because you barely had time for anything else, and on the other hand, your classmates seemed to be studying less than you.

The bell for the end of class had just been rung, the majority of the class was already picking their stuff to leave.

But you knew very well that Ratio was still there waiting for you to approach.

And yes, you were going to do that.

With calm steps and somewhat anxious, you approached the large desk near the board.

"Uhm, Veritas?" You said, carefully.

"Can we eat together?" You asked, knowing that after this class he would no longer dictate another one in the day, and you too, had no other class for today.

Ratio was sorting through some papers, putting them in various folders on his desk, with that same serious expression he had the rest of the time.

When he heard your voice, he stopped sorting papers, and looked at you.

His eyes seemed sharper every time you looked into them.

Without taking his eyes off you, he placed the last folder in place, and rested his hands on the table.

He didn't answer immediately, as if he was thinking about your request.

"Is there a reason?"

Ratio's tone was somewhat firm, his eyes still fixed on you, as if questioning why you, out of nowhere, suddenly wanted to eat with him.

"No,"

You didn't really know why, either.

Maybe it was because you didn't want to be left alone. Or maybe because you needed a break, your brain had been filled with so much knowledge, so much information that you felt it was going to explode.

"I just want to be with you," Your voice coming out a little more nervous this time.

Ratio was still looking at you, his eyes, very much analyzing you, as if he was searching for a real reason.

It was always like this with him, he never answered anything immediately.

Still, he didn't take his eyes off you, as if he was analyzing your thoughts, your request, and your every action.

Finally, after a few seconds, he spoke.

"Did you study?" He spoke, with that demanding but firm tone. His gaze was still fixed on you.

Your body slightly tensed up. You knew that if you hadn't, he probably wouldn't eat with you.

Even if he was your boyfriend, he was always like this.

"I did," Your voice came out with a small firmness, you actually spent the night studying.

Ratio kept looking at you carefully, his expression didn't change, he seemed to still be analyzing you, as if searching for lies in your eyes.

"How many hours?" His tone was still demanding, but he always made sure to correct you, to be even firmer with his words.

On the other hand, you were getting nervous. It was true that you spent all night studying, you didn't even have time to sleep, but if you said that, he would probably make you feel guilty for it.

So to not prolong the question, you gave a firm answer.

"Six hours, I swear."

Your voice was still firm, but nervousness was clearly expressed in it.

Ratio didn't change his expression, his eyes were still fixed on you, as if he could tell if you were lying or not.

He kept looking at you, in those few seconds he didn't say anything. Still looking at you, until he broke the silence.

"You haven't slept any?" His tone was much more demanding this time, his brows slightly furrowed, as if telling you that it was a mistake.

You knew perfectly well that it was a mistake, you already regretted it the moment you said it.

A small feeling of guilt took hold of your body, knowing that you were about to be scowled for that.

"No…"

You said, trying to keep your voice somewhat firm, but nervousness was present in it.

Ratio crossed his arms in front of his chest, and his eyes became more severe, almost with annoyance at your answer.

You knew perfectly well that that would happen.

"How are you going to study properly if you don't even sleep?" He questioned, in a demanding tone, as usual.

If you didn't sleep, he would scold you and if you slept, he would scold you too.

At the endings, it happened, as always, you even shed a few tears.

And it seems that that gave him remorse and he ended up agreeing to eat with you.

Your eyes were somewhat swollen, not much, but they were.

He made sure to hold your hand while eating quietly in a cafe near medical school.

You could notice how he was looking at your eyes almost every second, as if seeing the tiredness in them.

He almost looked like he felt guilty for making you cry, but he would deny it.

Ratio knew how demanding he could be, and how it could affect you.

But of course, he didn't apologize, because that would imply admitting that he was wrong.

You could see how he squeezed your hand, carefully while eating, as if making sure that your hand wouldn't slip from his.

It was quite obvious that he felt regret for making you cry. No matter how hard he denied it, his actions and his grip on your hand would always give it away.

The rest of the lunch was a little quiet, both of you only spoke a few words from time to time, not a lot.

He still continued to eat in silence, watching you from time to time.

His grip was firm on your hand, a little tight, but it didn't bother you, it was rather calming for you.

When he finished eating, he got up, and pulled you to get up from your chair.

He still had a firm grip on your hand.

"Let's go." Was the only thing he said, as he started to walk out of the cafeteria with you, your hand still attached to his.

Ratio started walking, with you following behind with your hand in his.

He wasn't walking too fast, or very slow, he was walking at a reasonable pace, but he made sure that you kept up.

He pulled you to stick to his side, and he made sure to look at you every few seconds.

You were walking in almost total silence, no one dared to say anything, and this was a little strange. Normally he was the first to say something.

His tight grip on your hand, his way of looking at you from time to time, made you feel a little nervous, but at the same time calm.

He didn't say anything as he walked, but you dared to say something.

"Where are we going?" You asked quietly, looking up slightly at him as you walked.

He looked at you, and his grip squeezed yours a little. Ratio spoke again.

"To my apartment." He replied, in the same firm tone.

"To your apartment?" You were a bit startled by that answer, because there was no way he was taking you to his apartment.

"Don't be tense." Ratio said, his tone was somewhat firm, but softer than before.

Before you could say anything else, he continued to speak, his words were firm and demanding, almost leaving no room for questioning.

"We're going to there, you're going to take a shower, and then you're going to take a long nap.

"I don't-"

Before you could reply, Ratio quickly cut you off. "I don't care what you're about to say, you need to rest."

He spoke with that firm but authoritative tone.

"You're going to take a damn shower, and you're going to take a damn nap for as long as it takes to get you back in shape."

In a way, that made you smile.

His actions showed you that he still cared about you.

The last few days that had passed, were… very different. You spent them at Ratio's apartment.

Each day ended with him scolding you for studying so much, and falling asleep on his couch on several occasions.

You loved those moments with him, in spite of everything, you were really in love with him.

However, as quickly as those butterflies arrived in your stomach, they disappeared faster than they appeared.

"Incorrect again, Y/N,"

He said, holding his hand to the bridge of his nose.

"U-uh…" you said, feeling watched and judged by all your classmates at that moment.

You were currently in practical classes, you no longer just theorize.

"Less than a minute for the patient to bleed," he commented again, ratio, with total disapproval in his speech.

You stayed there, thinking about what to do, your mind running in circles to decide what to do.

And, without further ado, the girl that Ratio always congratulated, took her tweezers from your hands, starting to suture the patient.

You felt so stupid in that instant, the classmate that Ratio always complimented, always approved of her, even congratulated her, had just taken your tweezers from your hands.

You felt the gaze of your classmates on you. You could see that they were either feeling sorry for you, or judging you.

Ratio was silent, he looked irritated, but he wasn't scolding you.

The classmate who took the tweezers from her hands, finished suturing the patient completely, in what seemed to be a couple of seconds.

Talent always wins the effort.

"You've failed another suture." Ratio spoke, almost annoyed by your failure.

As always, whenever you made a mistake, he was always making sure to point it out, making sure to shame you in front of the rest of the class.

His disappointment was evident on his face, in his tone, his gestures.

"It's ridiculous, you can't even put a few damn stitches on a fake wound. How are you going to be a real doctor if you're always messing up everything?" His words were harsh, very much. His expression and his eyes, sharp, as always.

"You're not taking this seriously, you're making the same mistakes again and again." He continued, in the same irritated tone.

How could someone who studied so much, who spent many hours studying, fail so much? How could you fail so much, even though you spent so much time with the person who always seemed dissatisfied with you?

Your classmates' gaze, Ratio's gaze, your own self-judgment, and your frustration for being a complete failure, was too much. You felt your eyes begin to tear up, you could feel your hands shaking. You felt more and more nervous with every word coming out of his mouth. It wasn't just from the pressure, it was also from the frustration.

How was it possible, that he had so much patience, and complimented your classmate, even celebrated that she could suturate a patient, when you couldn't do the same?

His words, his looks of disappointment, they were starting to take their toll on you.

"You're right, doctor," you said, accepting his words, so that he would at least stop scolding you publicly. Ratio kept looking at you, that annoyed look still on his face.

You looked really small in his eyes. Small and weak, a complete failure. That's how he saw you at that moment.

"At this rate, I'm tempted to say that you're never going to be a good doctor."

You just nodded, not knowing what to answer, or if you should respond to that in the first place. The medical career was not easy, there were always scolding for everyone, but not scolding all classes with him.

You heard him say, 'Well, let's continue…', as he moved on to another kind of exercise.

You let your other classmates get closer to the practice stretcher, staying at the end of the group.

All you just did was play with your fingers and bite your lip, so you didn't cry. Because you couldn't even get out of the practice chirophan, because you'd have low grade. Although well, what a lower grade could he put on you if you already pulled the first exercise.

You looked up in the direction of Ratio, who was correcting a couple of your classmates on something. He was always correcting something, especially you.

Your eyes were beginning to become slightly red.

You really hated the suturations practices, you were never good at putting in a few damn stitches.

You were always clumsy, and your hands always trembled when you took the tweezers, like they were shaking now.

Why weren't you as talented as them? Why couldn't you even do something as simple as suturing?

"You're shaking, are you alright?" A voice came from behind you, you recognized who it was immediately.

It was the classmate who always did sutures perfectly, the one Ratio always complimented. She had a worried expression in her eyes, but you couldn't help but feel complete rejection and repulsion towards her.

Her question made you feel more humiliated.

"I'm fine." You replied, trying to sound firm, when in reality, your voice was on the verge of cracking.

She looked at you, not seeming to buy the answer you gave her.

She could see your hands shaking and you were biting your lip, it didn't seem like you were fine.

"Are you sure? You don't look very-" she tried to speak once more, but you didn't want her to continue.

"I said I'm fine, alright. Stop asking me that." You said, a little harshly, hoping that would make her shut up. Her eyes widened slightly at your response, she was surprised by your response. But, instead of being angry, she continued to look sorry for you.

"I'm just trying to-" she was about to say something again, but you were already fed up with her.

You were fucking jealous of her.

"Well, I don't want you to! Stop acting like you care about me!" You snapped at her, your voice louder than you expected it to be.

The rest of the class had turned their heads at you, including Ratio.

Why the hell did you do that?

The whole room was silent, the only noise present was your agitated breathing.

Ratio walked up to you, his eyes firmly on yours. He looked irritated, no, he looked angry at your reaction.

"To the hallway, now." He said firmly, gesturing for you to walk towards the hall.

You felt the eyes of your classmates on you, as you slowly walked out of the class, with Ratio behind you.

Once you got into the hallway, he closed the door behind him, leaving both of you alone in the hallway.

He looked at you, you could see irritation in his eyes.

He was completely irritated with the attitude you just had.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" He said, his voice almost sounded like a whisper, but still firm.

"Why the hell did you lash out at her like that?" He continued, he was waiting for an answer, an explanation for your behavior, and he wouldn't accept any bullshit excuse.

You stood there, not knowing what to say, and avoiding looking directly at him.

You didn't know how to explain your attitude, you yourself didn't even understand why you had done that.

Maybe it was because you were irritated, annoyed by her, or just because Ratio paid more attention to her or others than to you, no matter how much you studied.

And you couldn't understand why that girl was always so perfect either. The perfect student, the one who always did the exercises and sutures perfectly.

You were increasingly sure that talent far outperforms effort.

As you stood there, avoiding looking at him, Ratio was growing more and more impatient as the minutes passed. He expected some explanation, an answer to his question. But all he got was silence and you avoiding his gaze.

"Are you going to answer or just stay there, biting your lip?" He spoke again, this time with a firmer tone.

Again, you stayed there, still and saying nothing.

"Okay, then," he said, entering the practice chirophan and closing the door behind him.

You stood there, outside the practice chirophan, alone, on your own, with only your thoughts swirling around your head. You could still hear your classmates continuing practicing suturing in the chirophan, while you were left outside.

Your mind was a mess, going from one thought to another, from one feeling to another; anger, frustration, confusion, disappointment.

And jealousy. A lot of jealousy.

You could hear Ratio's voice, scolding other students. And again, you heard him compliment the girl who always does sutures perfectly.

She was talented, she was perfect, the best student in his eyes. He seemed to adore her, much more than he praised you.

It was not possible to know with that man, he was a mystery.

You walked over and sat down on one of the seats in the hallway, your body completely tired. Both physically and mentally.

Poor girl, you were jealous of her, when not even she did it on purpose to be better than you.

The lesson was finally over.

You were sitting in the hallway, waiting for the whole class to leave, so you could enter and say something to Ratio.

But, to your annoyance, the girl who always did the perfect sutures, was one of the last to leave.

She was going to talk to Ratio, it was obvious.

So, you stayed in the hallway, watching as Ratio and that girl talked for a long time.

She looked happy, with a smile on her face. Ratio seemed in a good mood, he was listening to her speaking calmly. In fact, he was smiling, he was never usually that warm.

That image, that situation, it only irritated your mind more.

But you wouldn't do anything, because there was nothing to do.

Besides that in medical school, he was your teacher, not your boyfriend. So professionalism on his part was always ahead.

As the last student left, Ratio opened the practice chirophan and found you sitting on one of the seats in the hallway.

He looked at you, and for the first time, he had a slight hint of disappointment on his face.

He just looked at you for a few seconds, almost as if he wanted to say something, but he didn't.

He just let out a slight, silent, almost inaudible sigh.

"Come here." He said, gesturing to you to walk towards him.

You stood up, from the seat. You were about to walk towards him but, you suddenly felt nervous, your heart beating a little faster.

What if he wants to discuss that you're always getting low notes on the practical work?

Or maybe he wants to tell you that your effort is useless, because you'll never be as good as the other students.

Or even, he wants to kick you out of class for your recent behavior.

However, his words surprised you.

"I'm going to help you study," he said.

You really expected another scolding from him, but his words were soft.

Perhaps the excellent work of the best student in your class had change his mood.

"But I don't-"

Before you could respond, he cut you off, almost knowing what you were going to answer.

"I wasn't asking you, I was telling you." He said firmly.

He wasn't leaving room for questioning, if he was going to help you study, there was no use in trying to decline his offer.

In spite of everything, you couldn't help but get excited.

The thought of having his attention, and having an extra private class with him. You were really going to like it, you wanted to be alone with him.

In a way, it was a great opportunity to show him what you were capable of doing, and that you too had potential.

He gave you a small smile, as he saw the reaction on your face. And then he added, "We're starting today."

…

You liked being next to him, you feel like at school, almost like a teenage romance.

You were writing carefully what he explained to you, while he had an arm on your shoulders.

It moved you and made you nervous, even though your relationship was almost two years now.

He explained, corrected and commented, as usual. You nodded, listened and wrote what he said.

Everything was going well, until he suddenly paused, and he let out a sigh.

"There's something important I need to tell you." He said, suddenly, in a serious tone.

Your hands suddenly froze halfway between the page and writing. His words, his tone, his gaze. It made you feel nervous, your heartbeat increasing.

"What is it?"

Your voice came out in a somewhat nervous tone.

For a few seconds, he was serious, he didn't say anything, he just looked at you.

His eyes looking into yours, in a somewhat serious and intimidating way, before his expression suddenly change to one of slight annoyance.

"What the hell was that, what you did the other day?"

Ratio asked, suddenly changing the subject of the conversation.

You tensed up a bit, and bit your lip.

You knew immediately that he was referring to the little tantrum you threw, that day.

"I was…" you were at a loss for words, you didn't know what to say.

"I was just frustrated." You finally managed to say, your voice a bit low.

"Frustrated, right."

Ratio responded, in a slightly mocking tone.

"So you were frustrated, and you decided to take it out on a classmate, in front of the entire class?" Ratio looked at you, with that same serious and slightly annoyed expression.

Your heart was beating fast, you felt slightly guilty, knowing you acted inappropriately.

"I know it wasn't the best way to react, but…" you tried to explain yourself.

"No buts." He cut you off. "You embarrassed yourself, and you embarrassed me with your poor and childish behavior. As your teacher, I shouldn't have to deal with your tantrums.

His words stung a little, you felt ashamed.

But there was something else, behind his words. The mention of 'As your teacher'.

"I know, I'm sorry." You mumbled, looking down to the floor.

"I expect you to act like an adult. So I hope you'll apologize to your classmate." He said.

"I will."

You said, still avoiding his gaze, you didn't want to see his eyes, to see his expression.

That day wasn't the only one he helped you study on.

But as always, for him, everything was wrong in answers or in your diagnoses.

As you wrote down one of the last points of the list he had given you, he spoke up, looking at what you had written.

"That is incorrect," he said as he looked at one of the points.

You looked up at him, your eyes wide at his words. How could it have been wrong? The doubt began to consume your mind, and you felt frustrated that you weren't able to do everything perfectly.

Your frustration was beginning to grow, you had just spent hours studying and here he was telling you that you had all the things wrong.

You tried to protest, you tried to explain your answers, but he shut you down every time. His voice became sharper and firmer every time, he was losing patience with you and your constant mistakes.

Finally, he slammed the book on the table, the loud noise echoing through the empty room.

"That's it, enough. You're not getting anything right," he said, his voice stern.

You felt a pang in your chest from hearing his words. How was it possible that not a single thing you wrote was correct? Why couldn't you understand the concepts? Why were you always making mistakes?

Your hands began to tremble as you clutched the pen in your hand, your heart beating fast

You wanted to scream out in frustration and ask him why you weren't getting the answers right, but you knew he wouldn't be patient with you anymore.

"You should try harder, I'm going to do an exam on these topics for you all," he said.

And yes, you had to study alone, as you normally did.

But you didn't really understand why you didn't get any answers right.

Literally that's what books said, your answers were even the same.

So, what was happening to you?

That test was going to be in a week, and you were extremely stressed about it.

You had to prepare for the exam given by Ratio, but it wasn't easy. Despite reading the material multiple times, something wasn't clicking in your head.

The formulas, the methods, the diagnoses, nothing stayed in your head. And when you attempted to answer the questions, you found yourself making mistake after mistake.

After studying a few nights on your own, it was time to take the exam.

The day of the exam had arrived.

The atmosphere in the classroom was tense, everyone seemed nervous. You were shaking, your hands trembling as you clutched the pen. Everyone around you seemed to understand the material, but you were struggling.

Ratio started handing out the test sheets to each one of you, until he reached your desk.

He placed the paper in front of you, and your breathing hitched.

You dared to hold your gaze on his, for at least a while, looking for some security that he could give you.

But there was no security in his gaze.

He didn't give you any special look, no secret glance or anything that could make you feel more confident.

His expression seemed serious, almost like a challenge. It was clear that he expected nothing from you, to his eyes you weren't going to do the test well.

He knew it, and you knew it.

And as he finished handing them out, he spoke.

"You have an hour to finish. Start now." He announced, before going back to his desk.

You looked down at the questions, and your heart sank.

They were difficult, they were complex, and they were things you had never seen before.

You felt your hands begin to sweat, and your mind went blank. You tried to recall the information you had studied, but it was like trying to remember a forgotten dream.

The other students around you seemed to have no trouble with the test, they were already beginning to answer the questions.

But you, on the other hand, were stuck on the first question. The words and numbers on the page became a blur, your mind in complete mess.

As minutes passed, you found yourself still struggling with the first question. Meanwhile, other classmates were already on the second or third.

The pressure was immense. You tried to focus, you tried to concentrate. But your mind was racing, your heart was pounding in your chest.

You could hear the sound of the other students' pens on the papers, the ticking of the clock on the wall, the silence of the classroom.

Every sound seemed to echo in your head and only added to your anxiety.

Time was ticking by quickly, and you could feel your anxiety growing with each passing minute.

You had already spent 45 minutes on one question, and you hadn't even reached the halfway point.

Until you saw some of your classmates raise their hand so that Ratio could approach them and answer their doubts about some questions.

They were getting help, while you just sat there, panicking.

You wanted to raise your hand, to ask for help, just like the other students.

But you didn't do it, you didn't dare to. You felt too ashamed and embarrassed to admit that you were having so much trouble with the test.

You just continued staring at the exam, trying to decipher the questions.

And, with only 4 questions out of 20, you dared to raise your hand as well, so that he can get closer as well.

You looked up a little bit on your exam, watching it approach students back and forth.

Your still hand raised, you even moved it a little bit, to see it.

And so he did, he saw you for a few seconds, before approaching another of your classmates.

Your heart sank again.

You couldn't believe what had just happened.

He knew you were struggling, he saw you with your hand raised. But despite that he avoided you and went to answer someone else's doubts.

You felt a pang of pain in your chest, like a stinging realization.

Ratio didn't want to help you, he was ignoring you.

You weren't like the good students, the ones he always said were talented. You were just the one who couldn't understand anything, no matter how hard you tried.

You lowered your hand again, feeling humiliated.

With your cheeks somewhat red from shame, you lowered your gaze towards your exam, almost empty.

You tried to do it, you really tried.

Without realizing it, your eyesight was blurred, as you continued to try to write down what you found most coherent.

You were crying in the middle of the exam. But what a shame.

Well, at least you didn't sob, you just let the tears slip out of your eyes, because because your head was somewhat tilted down, it was more accessible for the tears to come out.

The time passed, and the other students handed in the exam sheets, one by one. And you were still on your seat, trying to come up with at least a minimum of sense.

The tension in the room grew with each passing minute.

You could feel the weight of everyone's gaze, even if no one was looking at you directly. It was like everyone was silently waiting for you to finish, to see if you could do it or not.

But the answer to that was becoming more and more evident with every passing minute.

And yet, you still tried, you tried so hard to write something.

You felt a knot forming in your throat as you tried to hold back your tears, but it was difficult.

Ratio's words echoed in your head again, "You should try a little harder."

How much harder did he wanted you to try? You were already struggling to keep up, and now you were literally crying.

With all your effort, you managed to answer some more questions. But still, the test paper looked almost blank.

Many of your answers were incorrect, even if you had tried your best.

When the time finally ran out, Ratio spoke up.

"Time's up," he said in his usual strict tone, standing up from his desk. "Those of you who haven't handed in your sheets, do so now."

You felt a wave of dread wash over you. You were one of the few who still had the papers on their desk.

Slowly, you raised your head to see that almost everyone else had already handed their papers to him.

With shaking hands, you gathered the papers on your desk and got up.

Your legs felt weak, but you somehow managed to make your way to the desk.

Ratio was there, waiting for your paper. He looked slightly indifferent, as if he was expecting this outcome.

You handed him the sheets with trembling hands, feeling a sense of shame and embarrassment. The weight of your poor performance was heavy on you, and you avoided meeting his gaze.

He took the papers without a word, and as he did, your eyes darted down to the answers on the paper.

You could see his expression of disappointment.

…

And it was worse than what you imagined.

Red marks and crosses were all over the page, almost each answer was incorrect.

After a week, he returned the exams to everyone in the classroom.

You didn't know how to hide your grade from the students sitting near you.

There was a big 0 on the exam cover.

A 0, no points at all. You had failed the test completely, and the evidence was there, for everyone to see.

The shame and humiliation hit you like a wave. Everyone was looking at their grades, comparing them and discussing among themselves. You wanted to sink into the floor and disappear.

Ratio spoke up again, drawing everyone's attention. "As you can see, the results of the exam were… Disappointing."

He said, his eyes skimming over the class.

His eyes landed on some students, commenting on their good grades.

"But, there were some good grades. Congratulations to those who did well." He spoke, in a matter-of-fact tone.

You knew you'd never be like them.

When he finished the class, it was relatively short, as most of the time it was used to solve the exam together.

You rushed to grab your stuff by keeping your exam in your bag, before you left the big classroom, feeling nauseous.

The rest of the day passed by, but the shame and humiliation from the exam still lingered. You couldn't shake the feeling of disappointment, and the thought that you were the worst in the class.

You tried to avoid your classmates' gazes, fearing they would whisper or make fun of you.

The hours went by slowly, until the day had ended. You found yourself walking back home, feeling down, with your head hung low.

And then, you suddenly heard a voice calling out to you. "Y/N," the familiar voice said, and you froze.

You knew who it was.

Slowly, you turned around to see Ratio standing there, a few metres away from you. His expression was serious, his eyes fixed on you. Your heart started racing again, and you nervously clutched your bag strap tighter. What did he want?

He walked closer to you, his footsteps echoing in the empty hallway.

He stopped a few steps away from you, looking down at you.

"Can I talk to you for a moment?" He asked, his voice firm. You swallowed hard, nodding silently.

You were too afraid to speak, your throat was dry, as if you had never swallowed saliva again.

He motioned for you to follow him, as he walked towards a quieter part of the hallway, where there were less classroms.

Finally, he stopped in a quieter spot, turning to look at you.

He looked directly into your eyes for a moment, his gaze intense.

There was a moment of silence before he spoke, his voice softer than usual.

"I suppose you know why I wanted to talk to you," he began, tilting his head slightly.

You nodded again, knowing what he wanted to talk about. The failed exam.

"Yes…" you whispered, your voice barely heard.

He let out a small sigh.

"Your performance on the exam… It was quite unsatisfactory."

His words were straightforward, he didn't hide his disappointment.

Your heart sank even further.

He was saying what you already knew, what he already wrote on the paper of red marks and crosses.

"I didn't expect much, to be completely honest. But I didn't expect such…bad results." He added, raising an eyebrow.

His words hurt, but you didn't say anything, you just stood there, looking down.

"I just don't understand," he continued, "I made sure to explain the concepts thoroughly. Why did you fail so badly?"

His tone was serious, he really wanted an answer from you.

"I really don't know," you mumble. Ratio let out a small huff, clearly not satisfied with your answer.

He looked at you for a moment, his eyes studying you.

"You know, I've been teaching for years. I've seen many students who struggle, but not to this extent. You weren't able to answer any question correctly."

"I wanted help, Ratio," you said, again, muttering.

And yes, you tried to raise your hand so that he could also approach you that time, but he just looked at you and didn't come close.

You looked up weakly toward his eyes, holding his gaze a few seconds.

"I tried to ask for help from you, I raised my hand, but you ignored me," you confessed, your voice almost breaking.

He was silent for a moment, his expression slightly changing.

He seemed a little surprised that you had mentioned that.

He was about to open his mouth to speak, but then your voice spoke up again.

"Do you think I'm stupid?" You said, with a hurt voice, and your eyes started to feel moist.

His expression softened slightly. He wasn't expecting that question.

He saw the tears forming in your eyes, and his stern expression wavered for a second.

"No, I don't think you're stupid." He finally said, his voice slightly lower.

He paused for a moment before speaking again.

"But I can't deny that I'm...disappointed. I had hoped for more progress."

Your lower lip trembled slightly as you heard his words.

Disappointed. Of course, he was. Because you were the worst in the class, the one who couldn't understand anything no matter how hard you tried.

The one who would never be able to answer a question correctly.

"…I know…" you whispered.

You couldn't hold back the tears any longer, and they started rolling down your cheeks.

"But i'm trying my best. I swear I am," you said, your voice shaking.

Ratio didn't say anything for a moment. He just looked at you, almost as if he was contemplating your words, your expression and your tears.

He watched as you cried softly, the tears running silently down your face.

He seemed to think for a moment, before he spoke again, his voice softer than before.

"I know you're trying," he admitted, and his tone wasn't as harsh as usual.

He let out a small sigh.

"But 'trying' isn't enough. You're always lagging behind. You never catch up. You need to do something different."

Your heart felt heavy, and your shoulders slumped slightly.

He was right, your 'trying' wasn't enough. It never was.

You heard him sigh, before you didn't realize it, his hands were on your cheeks, rubbing his thumbs on these to clean the tears.

"I want you to succeed,"

His touch was gentle, his thumb wiping away your tears softly.

You looked up at him, his expression was serious but not cold as usual.

"But you have to work harder for that." He spoke, his hands still on your wet cheeks. "You're smart, but clearly something is missing."

As his hands continued on your cheeks, you froze, feeling the unexpected touch.

He was wiping your tears, a gesture of… comfort?

At this point, you already believed his words.

'You're not giving everything about yourself'

'Study more'

'Try harder'

Everything that came out of your mind and mouth was wrong for him.

You sat on the small bench on the rooftop of medical school. That place had been your peacetime.

You found yourself again, frustrated, as you had the book open on your lap, with tears about to escape your eyelids.

That until someone else's footsteps resounded on the ground.

Which made you immediately turn your head.

"I knew I'd find you here," the familiar voice said. You turned to see Ratio, walking over to the bench and sitting next to you.

"The same place, for the third time this week," he added, his expression a mixture of concern and something else.

You wiped the tears from your eyes quickly, not wanting him to see you like this. But it was too late, he had already noticed.

He glanced at the open book on your lap, a small frown on his face.

"Still struggling?" He asked, his voice soft yet firm.

You just nodded.

You saw him sigh, before he took out a kind of sweet bread packaged.

"Here, eat this," he said, as he gave you what he had in his hand.

He knew you liked those sweet breads.

With resignation, you took the bread, and you took off the wrapper, starting to eat it, while you felt like you were going to cry again.

Ratio watched you eat silently, his eyes fixed on you.

He saw the tears still gleaming in your eyes, but you were trying to hold them back.

He let out a sigh, his expression seemed to be contemplating something.

Without saying anything, he moved closer to you, getting nearer.

He was so close, you could count the number of eyelashes he had.

He leaned towards you, and his hand raised to touch your cheek and so he did, stroking your face for a moment, before he laid a kiss on your temple.

The unexpected kiss on your forehead made your body tense up for a moment, surprise filling you.

The action was uncharacteristic as he was acting in a way he never did in the past.

You slowly turn your head to look at him, your eyes meeting his. His expression held a hint of affection.

He was still so close to you. So close that he could easily touch you again.

The simple contact of his, made the accumulated tears of before, fall down your cheeks.

You stuck your body to him, even chewing sweet bread. You had a frown, like you used to have now.

As you put your phone next to you, after dialing your boyfriend's number.

You keep looking at the practice sheet, gently banging the pen against the table.

It took him a few seconds for him to answer your call.

"What's wrong?" Ratio asked once he answered the phone.

You took a deep breath before speaking, trying to sound a little calm, but failing miserably.

"I'm stuck again," you confessed, frustration evident in your voice.

"You'll need to do this by yourself, this time." He said, and his voice was firm.

You felt another stab in the chest.

"But I-"

"No buts. You need to learn how to figure things out on your own. You can't always depend on me."

Another stab. Like a dagger.

Yes, the same thing happened again.

You were somewhat desperate, as your last exams went wrong and you only approved a few with the minimum note. And basically you needed 140 percent of 100 percent to pass.

The only thing that could save you would be the practical part, but you didn't even manage to master that.

You knew he was right, but that didn't make you feel any better.

You looked up at him with a sad expression, but all he did was look at you with his usual frown.

"You're not a kid anymore. You need to start taking responsibility for your own learning," he said.

You knew he was right, you knew you couldn't always rely on him. But it was hard to accept.

Especially when he was always so dedicated and patient with others.

"Being your boyfriend doesn't mean you have more priority or advantages,"

You felt your throat tighten, you had a lump in your throat.

But he continued speaking.

"I'm your teacher, first of all. And I should be as impartial as possible."

You knew that, you truly knew that.

How you wished that he would treat you differently from others just because, you didn't want any privileges, or anything like that.

You just wanted his attention, his help, his care. But all you got were cold remarks, like a teacher talking to a stupid student.

Oh, but you would remember her words whenever you were tempted to ask her for help.

And again, you believed his words.

He was right, it wouldn't be fair for others to teach you the most.

So, you had to put everything in about yourself, no, more than you could give, so you could study for your exams.

Especially because they weren't just any exam, they were almost a preview of the endings, and if you didn't pass all of them, you wouldn't have any hope of being able to pass the courses.

Because you need more note than you can normally get, that is, something impossible.

In total there were 6 courses, that of Ratio and that of other teachers. That in their classes you didn't do so badly, but you weren't the best either. you approved with scores between minimums to media.

You looked down, your fingers tightening on the edge of the desk.

"I know," you mumbled, feeling a lump in your throat.

He was silent for a moment, before he spoke again, his voice a little softer this time.

"I'm tough on you because I know you can do it," he said.

Your eyesight focused on the chemistry test, it was the first exam of the week, so you were, or at least you felt, that you were ready.

When you left the exam, begging you to do well, you had to eat a granola bar, while you were walking down the hallways, looking for your other classroom.

You couldn't see Ratio before you took the first exam, because you were going to be a little late.

Once you sat at the desk, with the pharmacology test in your hands, you started putting on paper the things you remembered, so you didn't forget.

It was two long hours, which you managed to finish and leave the classroom, completely tired.

But when you get home, you couldn't sleep, because you had to prepare for your other exams.

As you sat in front of your desk, it was already almost 10 pm.

And you were still studying.

Your eyes tired because of the many books you had looked through, and your arms aching slightly because of writing so much.

You were tired, but you couldn't afford to take a rest. You had to study for the other exams. You let out a sigh, rubbing your eyes.

How long had you been studying now? An hour or two? You weren't even sure.

In the last few hours, you were studying for your other exams, including Public Health, Medicine 3, Clinical psychiatry, Laboratory diagnosis and the course in which Ratio will be present, Surgery 1.

Of some of those exams, most of them were written, the two of practice would be the same day.

You didn't dare send a single message to Ratio.

Or well, it's not that you didn't want to, you were too tired at this point.

You barely got out of the exam where you had to be in the lab, your eyelids every time threatened to close.

Now you had the exam.

You were scared, you even sweated from your nerves.

When you arrived at the respective practice chirophan, where all your colleagues would be taking the exam, your eyesight discouraged you.

They all looked somewhat tense, as they walked back and forth, muttering to themselves, what you assumed was what they learned in class.

You waited outside, along with them, before Ratio made them pass them all, to start the exam.

This consisted even the right only disinfected was also qualified, which made you tense. Although the cold water when washing your hands and arms helped you wake up a little.

Your breathing intensified.

Ratio stood in the middle of the room, and you tried to focus your vision properly.

He looked in your direction, for a second, his eyes on you.

Maybe he'd noticed how tired you were, but he remained silent. He just looked at you for a second, before looking back at everyone else.

And he began to speak.

"You all know how this works," he began, his voice firm and authoritative. "Each of you will take turns performing on a dummy patient."

You let out a shuddering sigh, trying to calm your nerves.

Your heart was pounding in your chest, as you watched your classmates take turns performing the practical exams.

Every time someone finished, Ratio inspected their work and gave them feedback.

You could see the serious expression on his face, his eyes never leaving the students as they performed.

Finally, it was your turn. You approached the dummy patient, your hands slightly trembling.

Ratio stood a few feet away, watching you.

When you started the exam, you tried to be as perfect as possible.

You tried to calm down, which was a bit difficult. Your hands was shaking.

'Try to breathe slowly, it will help you.'

That was what Ratio told you, and he was always right.

You tried to repeat in your head the steps you had to take to complete the exam.

You took a few deep breaths, in and out.

And finally, you began.

You feel much more pressure when you felt your classmates behind, that you were taking turns with when you performed a simple little surgery.

You started with shaky hands, to make cuts in the internal tissues of the skin, little by little. Being totally attentive to the sound of the cardiac monitor, listening to the pulsations and occasionally seeing the pressure level in the 'patient'.

You could even feel the sweat on the palms of your hands inside the latex gloves. It's good that you always had to put on 2 or 3 for these practices, because otherwise, you would have contaminated everything with your sweat.

You continued the process, trying to block out the thoughts that were flying through your mind.

'You need a good score.'

'You can't fail.'

'This is your last exam.'

'If you do this well, you can finally talk to him without worrying.'

Trying to ignore the pressure, you continued to take each step carefully.

The instructions for your colleagues you should take turns with were clear, anyone who distracts or talks to the person who is performing the practice with the 'patient' will immediately cancel the exam.

And that's why, because of the more impotence or frustration of your peers when they see your patient's heart level when they enter a state of shock because they had touched a vital organ, it was something that went unnoticed by you. Because you had fallen asleep.

What suddenly woke you up was the same alert from the monitors, who let out a loud noise.

Shit.

By the time you saw the monitor, the pressure was in the skies, not to mention that now the pulsations were going down drastically.

Without realizing it, as you had been sleeping in your place, you pricked the 'patient' stomach with the scalpel.

Fuck.

Your eyes widened in shock.

You were still a bit dizzy from sleep, and your reflexes were very slow.

And from behind, you could hear more murmurs, some of your classmates, while others let out a hiss or a swear word. And you could feel the pressure in your chest at what had just happened.

You tried to make a suture, but by that time it was too late.

You had damaged a vital organ, which you shouldn't even do.

In fear, you turned to the monitor, that now the rhythm was a single beep, indicating that the 'patient' had died.

You stayed there, feeling pressured by the looks of your classmates behind you, now they had not been able to take their exam.

And the gaze of Ratio, who was standing in front of you, which only made things worse.

He stood in the same position, his eyes staring at you. And you could only think of what he must have been thinking at that moment.

You tried to remain calm, but you knew that was impossible, your breathing was shaky, and you even felt your legs trembling.

You couldn't stand the stares, you could feel the gazes of your colleagues on your back. Judging and analyzing everything you had done.

"You failed this exam roundly." was the only thing he said, before guiding your peers to another side in the chirophan so they can take their exam, with a heart rate 'patient'.

You felt a pang of panic, your hands still trembling from the previous episode.

'You failed this exam roundly.' those words still echoed in your mind.

You knew it was the truth, there was no way you could deny it. You messed up big time.

'Everyone is going to hate me now. They're all going to think I'm stupid. I'm not fit to be a doctor. I'm not fit to be anything.'

These were the thoughts that raced through your mind.

You had been unveiling yourself so that you could study well for your other exams, that this was the only thing you didn't have in mind that could happen.

Your eyes looked to the floor, you were ashamed, you were embarrassed by your own performance. You had failed at something so simple.

Something you'd studied for hours. You even feel somewhat prepared to be able to do it.

Ratio stayed where he was, watching as your classmates took their turn with 'the patient'.

But he couldn't quite take his eyes off you, he could see you were shaking, and he was sure you would start crying at any moment. But you wouldn't do that in this place, not with the presence of everyone else.

He was heading for a moment where you were.

Without paying much attention to the others, he approached you, his footsteps almost silent, and stopped right in front of you.

He looked down at you, his gaze serious.

He knew exactly what your thoughts were at the moment, he knew that all the blame you would assume would be on yourself.

After all, it was all due to your negligence, you had fallen asleep, and that had been the reason why your practice turned out to be, to say the least, a disaster.

'You tried'

'You can do better another time'

'Don't worry'

You expected that, you really expected it.

"You need to retire from the chirophan, you've finished your exam." That's what you heard from him.

Your heart squeezed.

You really thought he was going to at least say a few words of encouragement, not just that.

And the tone in which he said it just made it worse. It was clear that he was disappointed.

You could feel the lump in your throat growing, you felt that you were going to burst into tears at any moment.

Ratio was about to speak, but instead, he held his tongue.

He knew the effect his words had had on you. He knew you weren't well. But he didn't say anything, he just stood there, seeing you.

His gaze was on you, you could feel that he was analyzing you, from your eyes to your hands.

You looked like a kicked puppy.

Your shoulders were hunched, your head was down, and your hands were shaking at your sides.

With what little dignity you had left, you looked up at Ratio.

Your heart was beating so hard you thought it would burst out of your chest.

Your eyes were glassy, your eyelashes wet with tears.

You moved from your place, going to the disinfection area, while you were removing your gloves, mask and other protection stuff.

Your hands never stopped shaking while you did that.

You came out of the chirophan of practices, with fear running through your body.

Your hands on your face as you tried to hide the fact that you were about to start crying.

You were walking so fast that you bumped into a few people, some who told you to slow down, but you ignored them.

Finally, you reached the bathroom, where you locked yourself in one of the cubicles, and let the tears fall down your face.

You felt pathetic. You felt like an idiot for thinking you could do it, and even more so, for falling asleep.

How could you possibly have screwed up so big? You had studied for hours, for days, for weeks.

You worked as hard as you could to try to get a passing grade.

You had given your all, only for it to end in a complete failure.

"You're not good for this." you told yourself, your voice choked with tears.

…

You waited for your boyfriend to leave his office, grabbing the strip of your bag with both your hands.

Your gaze was on the floor, seeing your shoes as if they were the most interesting thing in the world. Your red eyes, you didn't want people to see much.

The students walked around you, chatting and laughing, unaware of the turmoil you were going through. You just wanted to go back to your apartment and cry in peace.

But at least you wanted some comfort on Ratio's side, even though you knew you didn't deserve it.

You heard the sound of a door behind you opening, and you glanced up to see Ratio walking out of his office.

He didn't notice you at first, but then he turned and his gaze fell on you.

You heard him sigh heavily, before he spoke "Let's go." It wasn't a question, it was a direct order.

You didn't dare say anything, just nodded silently and walked with him.

The whole way to the exit was silent, you walked behind him, seeing his back.

The silence was heavy, you didn't dare to say anything, and he didn't say anything either.

When you arrived at his apartment he let you pass first.

As you saw him leave his things in place and turn on some lights, your mind was distracted.

Until as he started heating water in the boiler, he spoke.

"It was the worst exam I could see in my life," his voice was full of disappointment.

Your heart pounded in your chest, those words only made you feel worse.

You wanted to say something, some kind of excuse, some reason to justify what you had done.

But all that came out of your mouth was a half-broken murmur "I'm sorry"

Ratio stared at you for a moment, his gaze was cold, you felt like crying again.

"You're sorry?" He asked, almost bitterly.

"You'll tell that to your patients' relatives when you kill them by mistake?"

Your eyes widened, and you could feel your lip starting to tremble.

That was a low blow.

"I-" you tried to speak, but your voice was so shaky and broken that you could barely form words.

But he interrupted you.

"You weren't focused. You were not prepared. You were sloppy and careless" He said, without even looking at you.

His words were like a stab in the heart.

And he wasn't done yet.

"You didn't put any effort into it,"

"Yes I did," you muttered, grabbing your fingers, anxiously in your body.

Ratio turned to you, his gaze was stern and almost irritated. He had never looked at you like that before.

"You fell asleep in the middle of the practice," he said, and the disappointment in his voice was palpable.

"How the hell would you call that putting in effort?"

Your mind was racing, trying to find an answer, something to say. But the words didn't come out, the lump in your throat was too big.

"I did" you tried to say again, weakly.

"No, you didn't" he said bluntly.

"If you had, you wouldn't have made such a stupid mistake"

You couldn't help it again, the salty tears wet your cheeks.

"Yes I did, Veritas," you said, raising your voice a little while you were looking at him.

"You didn't make the slightest effort in that practice, otherwise, you wouldn't have failed so miserably"

Those words stung again, you felt that he was attacking you.

"Yes I did!" You shouted, tears streaming down your face.

"I worked my ass out for that exam. I didn't take anything for granted! I really wanted to pass!"

"I want your comfort," you sobbed.

You wanted him to tell you that you had tried, that you did put everything out of you, that it was just unfortunate situations, that you could try again later.

You wanted that, not this.

Ratio's expression softened a little at your words, and for a moment he almost looked guilty.

He was quiet a few seconds, looking at your tear-soaked face.

"Do you think hard work is enough?" He asked. "Do you think that by just studying you will pass everything?"

"That if you want something, you'll get it just by wanting it?"

You just looked at him.

"That's not how it works," he said firmly.

"You have to be more than that".

You wanted his comfort, you longed for it a lot at times like this, not to be ranted out at how bad you did it.

"You don't deserve to be consoled if you did something out of pure negligence,"

Your heart sank at his words, like he was speaking to a child.

You felt like a scolded dog.

More tears fell on your face.

"I didn't mean to make that mistake," you said, wiping your face with your sleeve. "I really tried"

Ratio approached you, his steps slow and deliberate.

"Trying is not enough" he said bluntly.

He was in front of you now, towering over you, you didn't dare to look at him in the eyes.

"In this profession, just trying is not enough"

"You're not made to be a doctor if you think that," Your breathing hitched.

Those words hurt, you wanted to shout at him, tell him he's not right, that he's wrong.

But you knew he wasn't.

Every word he was saying was true.

All this effort, all these hours you've worked, and all these sleepless nights, to fail like that, because of a stupid simple mistake.

You really were not fit to be a doctor.

Your head was lowered, and the tears still ran down.

You tried to hold them back, but failed.

"I'm tired, Veritas,"

You just wanted him to stop.

You were tired, tired of studying, tired of not getting it right.

Ratio seemed to not soften at your words, his face still showed disappointment.

"You have to try harder, you have to put aside your tiredness," he said firmly. "If you don't, you will fail again"

"If you really want this, you have to do better"

You just wanted it all to stop.

"It's not fair," you began, your voice choked by the crying that didn't stop.

"The only thing you know how to do is tell me bad things about what I do," you sobbed.

"You're supposed to be my boyfriend, not someone who criticizes me,"

You felt frustrated, the words escaping your mouth without a care.

You wanted him to comfort you, to tell you that everything was going to be okay and that you would be a perfect doctor.

But he didn't say anything. He just looked at you, his expression unchanged.

"My job isn't to soothe your ego," he said firmly.

"My job, as a boyfriend, is to help you see the faults in yourself and strive to improve"

"And it seems that you don't like that very much," he added. His voice was almost cold.

You raised your head, looking at him with wet eyes.

"You're supposed to support me" you said weakly, almost a plea.

Ratio's face didn't change, his eyes fixed on you.

"I do support you," he said.

"But I won't lie to you or sugarcoat things for you," he added.

"I don't even have ego or something that you have to soften."

Those words were like a stab to the heart.

"I'm sick of you telling me that everything I do is complete shit,"

You were shaking with frustration, tears and snot streamed down your face. You felt so angry and so desperate that you didn't know what to say.

"I'm just trying to be honest with you and make you face reality," Ratio said.

"You need to be able to handle criticism if you want to be a doctor"

You just wanted him to stop, to shut up and say something like 'you're good' or 'don't cry it's okay'.

But he didn't, he just stood there, telling you the things you didn't want to hear.

You felt like you couldn't hold back anymore, all these days, weeks, months of not saying anything was starting to weigh on you.

"You never say anything good about me," you said in a shaky voice.

"You never have a nice word for what I do"

Ratio raised an eyebrow at your words, unamused by your outburst.

"You don't deserve my compliments"

That stung.

"Especially when you fail so miserably," he added.

Your body shuddered, those words made you feel so bad.

"All other boyfriends say nice things to their partners" you murmured.

"They give their support, even when they make a mistake"

Ratio almost laughed at your words.

"Oh, so you want me to be one of those 'other boyfriends' now?" he said with a hint of irony.

"You want me to pat you on the back and say you did a good job, even when you did a bad one?"

"Do you really think that's going to help?"

His tone was almost mocking, and it made you even more upset.

You wanted to shout at him, tell him that you just wanted him to say something nice and comfort you. But the words wouldn't come out.

"I…"

You tried to speak, but the only thing that came out was a choked noise.

Ratio sighed heavily, the annoyance clear in his expression.

"I can't believe you're acting like a child because you can't handle a bit of criticism"

"Do you really think that's how a doctor should behave?"

"The answers I say are the same as those of my classmates and you still tell me they're wrong," you said.

"It's not fair. I'm fed up,"

Ratio crossed his arms, looking down at you.

"Life isn't fair," he said, as if explaining something obvious to a child.

"And a doctor's job is not to care about being fair"

He looked you up and down, almost with contempt in his eyes.

"I had expected more from you," he said.

"But I suppose I expected too much"

Those words hit you like a blow to the stomach.

You knew he was right, but it didn't make the situation any less painful.

Your hands were clenched into tight fists, your fingers digging into your palms.

"I hate you," you spat out between sobs, your voice full of anger and hurt.

Ratio seemed unperturbed by your words to begin with.

He looked at you with an expressionless face for a moment, before speaking.

"You don't mean that"

You were angry, hurt, and sad, all at the same time.

"I do," you said, your eyes wet with tears.

"I hate you, and I wish you didn't exist"

The words came out of your mouth, more like a desperate plea.

Ratio didn't react at first, he just stood there, looking at you as you sobbed.

"You don't mean it," he repeated, his voice low and firm.

"And you know it"

"Yes I do," you insisted, your voice almost a hiss.

"I hate that you always criticize me," you said, letting out a sob. "I hate that you never say anything nice,"

You saw a slight change in his face through your tearful sight.

Before it becomes the same again.

"If you hate me and you can't stand the criticism I give you," his voice sounded annoying, almost words spit on his face.

"Why don't you retire from medical school?"

"You don't even have the talent to be a doctor anyway,"

You felt your heart drop at those words.

Talent… That was the thing that you always lacked.

Ratio was always the perfect doctor, from the beginning of his studies, he was the top of the top.

You, on the other hand, struggled.

You weren't naturally smart like your classmates or he was. You needed to study more, work harder, make more effort.

And even with all that, you didn't come close to being like he wanted.

You had sacrificed so many things just to get here, your dreams, your hobbies, and even your old friends.

What nice words from your boyfriend.

Both you and he remained silent, with only the sound of the boiling woman whistling.

Your tears fell like waterfalls, but this time you weren't sobbing, you just stared at him.

There was a tense silence between the two of you.

You didn't know what I was thinking, you didn't want to know either.

But you might notice that his facial expression was no longer the firm one before.

He seemed even surprised by his words.

He opened and closed his mouth several times, trying to speak.

But the words not came out.

Ratio was looking at your devastated face, the trail of tears already staining your clothes and cheeks.

Your red eyes stared at him, without blinking. Your expression seemed so different from a few seconds ago.

He had probably crossed the line.

Ratio stood there, looking at your tear-soaked face. He had never seen you so upset, so… desperate.

'Why don't you retire from medical school?'

His words will be repeated as a disc striped on your head.

The seconds passed slowly, the silence was only broken by the sound of boiling water.

Ratio moved slightly, taking a step forward, but stopped when his eyes met your gaze.

That look was almost one of… betrayal.

Something inside him stirred with frustration but guilt at the same time.

You forced yourself to take a breath, because you felt like you were going to drown.

You grabbed your bag with your trembling hands.

As you moved to grab your stuff, your eyesight never focused even on his shoes.

"Y/N…" Ratio tried to speak, his voice was hesitant.

He watched as you packed your things, your movements were jerky and with haste, with the only goal of leaving quickly.

You didn't look at him, avoiding his eyes completely.

"Where are you going?" His voice sounded more pleading, and with a hint of concern.

You felt your body tense, the sound of his voice made you shiver. You had forgotten how long it had been since you heard your boyfriend speak to you without being sharp or harsh.

"I'm leaving," you replied, your voice flat and emotionless.

"Do you care?"

"Of course I care" his voice was firmer than before, and maybe a little annoyed?

Ratio walked closer to you, his steps slow.

"I-, we need to talk"

That phrase came out of his mouth, almost in a pleading tone.

You continued to pack your things, not daring to look at him.

"We can talk tomorrow," you said. "I remembered I have something to do at home,"

Ratio's lips formed a straight line.

He just kept quiet.

You too, until you approached the door.

You felt the weight of his eyes on your back, almost burning.

You had your hand on the doorknob.

It was hard. More than you should.

"Tomorrow, then," he said, quietly.

The way Ratio spoke sounded almost vulnerable.

Your hand trembled on the doorknob.

You wanted to look back, to say something, to see his face.

But you didn't, because you know that seeing him would be even more painful.

"Sure," you managed to say, your voice hoarse.

The day after your… discussion with Ratio.

You were walking through the corridors of the medical school.

You felt a slight anxiety, but also a sense of resignation for what was going to happen.

You hadn't heard from Ratio since yesterday, and you weren't sure if it was on purpose or not.

As you turned a corner, you saw a familiar figure standing in your path.

You froze for a moment when you saw him.

He was dressed as usual and that perfect hairstyle.

But at least he didn't look so perfect, like he hadn't slept the night before.

His eyes were fixed on you, almost as if he were inspecting you.

Ratio his face neutral as always, but with a hint of… remorse?

"We need to talk," he repeated the phrase from yesterday, his voice low and firm.

Right.

"Oh, right," you let go, feeling your body tighten.

But before he could add anything else, you talked.

"Maybe later?, right now I have a class,"

Ratio had expected you to have a defiant or annoyed air about you.

But your voice, and expression, were calm, almost soft.

"Fine," he said after a few seconds. "Then after class,"

"After class," you confirmed.

Ratio continued to watch you.

The sound of the bell ringing through the hall interrupted the brief moment between the two of you.

not looking directly into his eyes. Then, before he could say anything again, you continued on your way to your classroom.

Ratio watched your figure walk away, his brows slightly furrowed.

Every ticking sound seemed almost as if it was mocking you.

The anticipation making your stomach spin.

In fact, you hadn't gone to a 'class'.

You went to talk to the rector of the medical school.

You felt a lump in your throat, and your hands were slightly sweaty.

You had an idea of what you wanted to talk about.

But you weren't so sure.

Your footsteps echoed through the hallway, your heart beating fast in your chest.

Until you arrived at the office door. You knocked gently and the voice of the rector called you in.

The moment of the meeting was brief, you explained the situation and what you decided. The man listened intently to your words, a slight sense of sympathy in his eyes.

When you finished, he nodded slowly, his fingers tapping on his desk. "Are you sure?" he asked, a hint of concern in his voice.

"Yes," you responded, your voice firm but inside you were the nerves.

You didn't know if you had taken the right decision, but it was done.

"I don't want to question your decision, but-"

"I'm sure" you interrupted him abruptly.

It sounded a little… harsh, but you didn't want to hear any more arguments.

The rector gave a small resigned nod.

"Okay," he said slowly.

"I will start the procedures,"

You walked to where you knew Ratio would be teaching.

You didn't know why you approached, if you were supposed to leave without telling him anything.

Ratio was in the middle of his class when you appeared at the door.

He didn't see you at first, since his back was facing the door.

But when class ended a few minutes later, and everyone left, he turned his face towards the door after leaving his notes on his desk.

And there you were.

Your figure standing in the doorway.

Ratio's facial expression didn't change.

"Is your class over?," his voice was low, the room was empty, the last students had already left.

Which made the only sound a low ticking of the clock hanging on the wall.

Your feet didn't move toward him.

You were still standing by the door, your gaze fixed on the ground.

"Yes," your voice came out somewhat strangled.

For a few seconds Ratio was silent, as if contemplating you.

He started to walk towards you, his footsteps echoing in the room.

The air between the two of you felt almost… thick.

Ratio eventually stood in front of you, his height forcing you to lift your head to look at him.

"Can we talk outside of here?" You asked, something undesirable about your actions.

Ratio was quiet for a moment, staring down at you.

He looked almost… unreadable.

Finally he agreed with a low "sure".

You left the room and both you started walking together.

Neither of you spoke.

Silence.

Just the sound of the two of you walking through the corridors of the school.

Ratio continued to keep pace with you, but he was looking straight ahead, not looking directly at you.

The sound of your footsteps echoed in the empty halls.

As the two of you walked, you felt a feeling of nervousness rise in your stomach.

You inhaled before you asked again. "Can I take your hand?"

As you broke the silence, Ratio slightly turned his head towards you.

He gave a light nod of affirmation.

You reached for his hand, and he allowed you to hold it.

His palm was warm, and the touch of his fingers was gentle, almost firm.

You felt less nervous, just for a while.

You walked with him until you got to a quiet cafeteria, where you saw people studying at tables.

You sat in front of him, making your hand release his.

As you sat down in the cafeteria, Ratio took a seat in front of you.

Both of you stayed silent for a few more seconds.

Neither of you had said anything since you came to this place.

You could feel a tension in the air, the silence slowly becoming unbearable.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he spoke.

"I assume you didn't go to class," his statement sounded like a mere fact.

"Uhm, we can talk about that at another time," you said, playing with your hands a little bit.

You missed the touch of his hand against yours, and you were going to miss that, that's for sure.

"I don't hate you, Veritas," you said, remembering your words yesterday, that you ranted when he was being unpleasant and rude on you.

Ratio's brow furrowed slightly.

He didn't say anything for a moment, he seemed to be thinking about something.

His gaze was focused on you, his eyes studying your expression almost intently, as if he was examining you.

"I know," he said eventually, his voice low and quiet.

Then he spoke again.

"I have to apologize," his words sounded almost reluctant, as if he didn't like saying them.

You could see the muscles of his jaw clenched, he seemed to be struggling with his thoughts and words.

It was clear that he wasn't used to apologizing.

He continued, the words coming out a little hesitant.

"I shouldn't have said those things,"

He paused again, his gaze averting yours for a moment.

Then he spoke again, and his eyes fixed on yours again.

"I was too harsh,"

Ratio's voice was quiet, almost like a whisper.

He was still struggling with those words, you were so used to him insulting you so easily but apparently it was different when he apologized.

Significantly that produced peace of mind in you.

You couldn't help but smile a little, feeling the knot in your throat.

"That's okay," you said.

Ratio's eyebrow shot up, clearly not expecting such a response.

You knew him enough that he probably would have been prepared to receive a scolding or an argument in response.

He was still looking at you, you could see the slight surprise in his eyes.

"That's… it?"

Ratio seemed almost dumbfounded.

"Yes, that's what I needed to hear," you said.

Anyway, you had already started with the procedures with the rector.

Maybe you just wanted to hear his words of apology, but as a good memory.

Ratio's expression changed, it was almost a mixture of relief and confusion. It was almost as if he had expected more resistance from you.

He remained quiet for a few more seconds, continuing to watch you intently.

That you were so forgiving after how he had acted made him feel… strange.

But maybe he shouldn't think too much.

Ratio exhaled slowly, his facial expression returning to its usual stoic and composed state.

"You're too soft, dear," he murmured, his voice low and quiet.

The next day it was the same.

He felt calm, because at least you weren't upset and at least you clarified that you didn't hate him.

It had spent almost 40 minutes of class and you were not there yet, it was strange to him.

Until when you looked for you on campus, where you were supposed to have other classes, you hadn't attended them. Rather, you weren't even on campus.

And, no matter how much he send you a message, it came out that he couldn't contact your number.

Almost recently, he had to come and talk to the rector, about you not coming and you could fail all your other courses. Until he took it upon himself to tell him that you had withdrew from campus three months ago.

Ratio's eyes widened, his facial expression transforming into a look of disbelief. "What?," his voice was low, but with a hint of alarm.

His mind was processing this new information, and it was hard for him to believe.

"They… withdrew three months ago?" His words came out slowly, his heart was starting to race.

Yes, you had taken the decision to withdraw from the medical school.

As much as it looked like a tantrum, you didn't care, maybe he was right.

So you followed his advice.

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educatedsimps · 5 months ago

Text

— bonus headcanons, iwaizumi hajime

≪ back to fics masterlist

iwaizumi hajime x gn!reader

a/n: idea dump based on this iwa request (main fic) so this is basically just everything i wanted to put into the fic but i kinda lost the energy and the bandwidth to write everything up to the standard i wanted so now this exists HAHA hope u like this and tysm for reading! :)

headcanons under the cut!

You remember asking him once, "Hajime, why do you do that?"

And he replied "Do what?" with deadass the most confused look on his face.

"Kiss my wrists and palms all the time," You clarified.

"Oh," He stopped. "Yeah, why do I do that-"

ok so basically, Iwa finds the wrists a very delicate part of the body, and given his experience as a volleyball player, and the nature of his job, he takes extra special care of them.

he remembers his coaches always reminding him and his teammates not to injure their wrists during training, which translates to "YOU BETTER HAVE GOOD FORM WHILE SPIKING, SERVING AND SETTING, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"

anyway, i think he started noticing wrists when he was in high school, especially since he was seijoh's ace and had to use his wrists a lot to spike. he probably injured his wrist(s) once and has always listened to his coaches ever since.

now that he's a professional volleyball trainer he makes sure that his athletes don't injure their wrists either.

so i think all of this adds to why he pays extra attention to your wrists especially.

bonus if your job requires you to use or rely on your wrists a lot, eg. musician (like me), athletes, surgeon, author, artist, etc... idk.

YOU CANNOT CONVINCE ME THAT HE DOESN'T GIVE THE BEST 👏 FKING 👏 MASSAGES 👏 ON EARTH 👏 and at the end of the massage he'll always kiss your hands and wrists and idk why but it just feels so chivalrous. like ofc it feels intimate when you hold his face in your hands and he plants kisses on your wrists/palms and but sometimes it just feels so chivalrous and gentlemanly ykwim?

OMG WHEN HE PROPOSES TO YOU like after he slides the ring onto your finger AND THEN KISSES YOUR WRIST/HAND AND IT FEELS LIKE YOUR HEART COULD EXPLODE 'cause i know mine would actually explode if he did that.

anyway some instances i thought of adding to the fic (but couldn't cuz i don't have the ability or capacity to write them out well) include:

waking up in the morning together or when you hold his face and kiss his forehead (these two are in the main fic linked above!)

when you're cuddling on the couch after a long day and just watching a show together or napping. if you're laying on him and touch his face he'll 100% kiss your wrists/palms

when he hugs you from behind and you reach up to run your fingers through his hair (like when you're cooking dinner together or something) and he'll pull your hand down to kiss your wrist

when you hug him with your arms around his neck and he catches your wrist before you pull away

when you shower together (SFW, DON'T WORRY) and you're facing each other and he's tilting his head / bending down while you wash his hair or massage his scalp and when you're done washing it he'll give your wrists a gentle kiss before returning the favour

BONUS: when he holds your face in his hands and you decide to give him a taste of his (very sweet) medicine. you’d twist your head to kiss his wrist and then his palm and he'd be BLUSHING because he's usually the one who does that AND HE'S SO CUTE he's like, "hey... you can't do that. i'm supposed to be the one doing that for you." while blushing and smiling and getting a lil shy and everything and HE'S JUST TOO CUTE FOR MY HEART 😭😭💕

a/n: ok that's all for the iwa brainrot ... i'm kidding, the iwa brainrot will never end. THANKS FOR READING THOUGH and thank you anon for sparking my two week long obsession with iwa once again

#educated.simps #haikyuu x reader #lyssa.writes #simps.write #haikyuu!!#haikyuu fluff #iwaizumi hajime #hajime iwaizumi #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi fluff #iwaizumi hajime x reader #iwaizumi hajime x reader fluff #hq iwaizumi #hq

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ifhybutilovechu · 15 days ago

Text

Day 25 : humiliation + Day 26: public

ft . Onyankopon

You and Onyankopon were getting ready to go to a party , he watches through the mirror as you do you makeup. You spot him ad raise a brow but he just shakes his head .

As you get finished with you makeup you put your dress asking him to zip up the back , while he does so he peeps you outfit the shortness rubbing him the wrong way "This a little short ma" he whispers in you ear and you scoff playfully thinking he's joking "Boy bye" you say and walk off . Little did you know he was dead serious .

strike 1

he counts in his head as you put on your jewelry "Ok baby I'm done , you ready?" you ask and he nods. On the car ride there you take multiple pictures and tiktoks the short v neck leaving little to the imagination .

When you guys make it there you immediately give him a kiss before rushing off to find the birthday girl he was shocked you didn't even say bye 'strike 2' , your best friend Sasha . "Heyy bitch! you yell while running to give her a hug she so gladly returns ."You finally made it!!" she exclaims before handing you a shot you gracefully take . Y'all immediately make it to the dance floor and she caresses your waist and you grind on her playfully .

You turn around and start throwing it back on her and she catches it all , smacking at your ass while your short dress starts coming up . People start to crowd around cheering and recording , all types of hands coming to get a grab .

Onyankopon and his friend Connie get some drinks as they sit and reconnect . "How u been" Connie asks and Ony sighs "I feel like my girl been trying me lately" he says and Connie burst out laughing "I'm so happy it ain't just been me , Sasha been pushing all my buttons ." As they talk they hear the party getting louder and come to check it out . They walk to the middle of the circle and Onyankopon can feel his blood pressure getting high . You and Sasha shaking ass for the whole too see .

"Ah fuck nah" he hears Connie whispers before he reaches by his waist band and starts shooting into the air . Everybody scatters and before you and Sasha could run off to they grab y'all .

As you ride home you text Sasha trying not to make eye contact with Ony .

You : Girl we so fuckedd

Sasha : yes I'm almost home , shivering in my boots

You : Deadass , shit gotta go

Sahsa : I'm praying 4 u

"Put that phone down" Onyankopon tries to say as calmly as he could and you quickly turn it off. "So?" he asks and you don't answer turning away and you can see him nod his head in the corner of your eye "Aight"

He parks the car and your heart drops notices it's a parking lot. "Get to the back" he says coldly and you immediately crawl back and he presses a firm smack to your as causing a squeak . He turns you around pressing your face into the mattress and pulls up your dress and notices you have no panties on. He reaches his hand back before landing a harsh slap on your ass . You groan and leap forward but he just pull you back , this continues until you ass is red and sore .

"Fuck!" you yelp a tear falling from your eye . He swipes his thumb over your cunt feeling your wetness . "You like that , everyone looking at what's mine? he asks and you shake your head and he smack your ass . "I cant hear you" he says as you whimper "no.."

He lines his thick cock up with your entrance before ramming in. You moan and unconsciously move away for his brutal thrust , he grips your hips and locks you in place "Fuckk , baby I'm sorryy" you beg as your drool pools onto the leather seats . "You too late baby" he says before smacking your eyes "Now throw that shit back on me" you try your best but as you watch someone walk by your trust in the tinted windows didn't seem so high anymore , you smack your head at his stomach trying to push him out. Tapping on his stomach to signal him

"Don't focus on them look at me" he whispers into your ear , gripping on your neck. You throw you ass in circles on his cock and he groans "Fuck baby just like that... you gon catch this nut" he asks "Yes pa..ooh shit!" you say clenching around him as you get butterflies in your stomach . Your hands smacks at the fogged window and tears flood out your eyes , he tightens his grip on your hips to pound into you become you cum all over him . He watches the white ring appear around his cock and groans . thrusting again before cumming deep inside. He looks at you messy makeup and fuck up hair , hearing the squelch from the cum dripping out you hole.

"Maybe you won't act up when you can't go out with a baby on your hip?"

#black reader #aot x black reader #aot smut #aot onyankopon #aot #aot x reader #attack on titan #onyankopon x black y/n #onyankopon x black reader smut #onyankopon x reader

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xxkissesforchanniexx · 7 months ago

Text

𝐏𝐡𝐨𝐛𝐢𝐚.

Pairing: Felix x fem!reader (non-idol au) Genre: Fluff + Smut Word Count: 4.7k Warnings: mentions of domestic abuse (not by felix), manipulation(also not by felix), comfort, Chan is a fricking bodyguard (not literally), soft!dom lixie, gentle sex

A/N: I put the requests down for a moment, I'll get to them soon but I wanted to write something about Felix since i haven't yet TAGLIST APPS >.>

You sat up in bed hugging yourself, covered in a cold sweat, traumatized. He's gone. You mutter to yourself, yet you still find yourself locking your bedroom door, you still find yourself calling Chan.

He sat with you until you calmed down, until Changbin came with food for you and gave you a bearhug.

Chan returned to the apartment he shared at 11am, Changbin trailed behind him tiredly.

"Is she ok?" Hyunjin asked, standing up from where he sat with Jeongin and Felix.

Chan nodded slowly, "Y/N was sleeping when we left."

"When that dick gets out of prison, I swear I'll kill him." Jeongin huffed.

Felix looked at his friends, "What?"

"It doesn't matter to you." Hyunjin said simply.

"You don't know her." Chan said, walking to his room.

Changbin sat on the couch. "She's not good with new people recently."

Felix nodded to himself, looking at his hands. Changbin stood and went to his room.

"Jeongin." Felix nudged his friend.

"Huh?" Jeongin looked up from his phone.

"What are they talking about?" Felix asked quietly.

Jeongin opened his mouth then closed it. He said softly, "It's not my place to say anything."

Felix hummed softly. "Who's Y/N?"

"Friend of Chan and Changbin."

"Oh."

You hummed softly to yourself as you dragged yourself out of your bed and into the hall, you went to the kitchen and opened a cabinet staring at the empty shelf.

"Great. No (fav snack).." You sighed, turning back to your bedroom and entering the connected bathroom. You tried to make yourself look semi-decent before pulling on your hoodie and sweatpants. You grabbed your wallet and left for the convenience store up the street. You entered and grabbed a small basket, heading to the snack isle and practically clearing the shelf of all of your favorite snack. You noticed a very interesting looking drink and settled on buying a 12 pack.

You set the stuff on the register and pulled out your card, scanning it on the machine. It buzzed loudly, your brows furrowed. "Wha-"

"Ma'am your card declined." The cashier said, taking the bag of your snacks to the other side of the counter and putting them under to return later.

You sucked in a sharp breath.

"I've got it." Someone said behind you.

You looked at a man with a gentle face and blonde hair, his eyes were big and brown and they sparkled when he smiled at you. He slid his card across the counter along with his stuff. He pushed his bleach blonde hair out of his eyes and hummed.

The cashier nodded adding the man's charge to your own before scanning the card and handing it back to the man, "Have a good day."

You took your snacks and headed for the door. You moved for the door about to leave, and the man held it open for you, walking with you as you exited the store.

"Thank you." You said plainly.

"No problem," He said, still walking with you.

You tensed. "Thank you really. You don't have to follow me around."

Felix sucked in a breath, "I-"

You huffed and walked past your apartment, deciding to just be safe before you circled around the block and came back to your apartment building. When you came back to your apartment you threw the snacks on the counter in the kitchen and grabbed one with a drink before returning to your bedroom sanctuary. You picked up your phone and scrolled through your contacts, you clicked Jisung's contact and put it on speaker.

it rang only twice before he answered.

"Y/nnie are you ok?" He asked the moment he answered, "I can come over-"

"Don't. I wanted to spill some tea about my day." You laughed.

He was quiet for a moment and then you could hear the smile on his face as he spoke, "What happened, girly?"

After a month, you mustered up enough energy to get in a cab and go to Chan's apartment alone. You saw the look of shock on Changbin's sleepy face when he opened the door to see you holding take out.

"Y/N?" Chan came out from his room, confused.

"Hey Binnie, Channie." You held up the food, "Hungry?"

A small smile came to Chan's face.

You were eating your food when Chan's phone started ringing.

He looked at it and answered after a moment, "Yongbokkie.... Come over? I have a guest right now... Ah... I mean... Okay. See ya."

Chan looked at you, "Friend of mine is coming over."

Changbin looked up from his food, "Chan-"

"It's fine." You hummed.

What you hadn't expected or been exactly happy about was that the friend Chan had allowed over was that Felix guy you'd met at the store.

He wore a black hoodie and sweatpants, his long blonde hair still falling in his face, except now you noticed, he had freckles.

"Oh-" he smiled at you. "We meet again."

You pursed your lips. "Hi."

"You know each other?" Chan looked confused.

"I helped her out a while ago." Felix said dismissively.

Chan nodded slightly. "Uh- What do you want to do now-"

You stood, "I should really go."

Chan sucked in a breath, "Y/N. You just got here-"

Felix looked at you, finally able to put a name to your face, he noticed the dark clouds behind your gaze and looked down.

"I'll come by another day Chan." You grabbed your jacket and left before he could stop you.

What were the odds that guy knew Chan.. That Felix guy who made you feel weird... who followed you so closely when you'd met him. Weirdo. You thought.

You were minding your business and your phone rang.

"Baby.. I need to talk to you sweet girl. I miss you.. "

You hung up and threw your phone. You stared around frantically. Suddenly your apartment felt so unsafe.

You locked your bedroom door and grabbed your phone from the floor, blocking the number. How did he get your number?

You called Changbin but it went straight to voicemail.

You looked out your window and called Chan.

It only rang once before someone answered. The voice wasn't Chan's.

"Hello?" Felix's voice came through and you burst into tears.

"WHERE'S CHAN!?"

"He forgot his phone, he went out an hour ago- Are you crying- What's wrong?"

You hung up abruptly and called Changbin again.

An unknown number called your phone and you stared at it for a long moment.

You hesitantly answered and that voice again.

"Y/N. Come on. Y'know I wouldn't hurt you on purpose, it won't happen again. Tell me where you are, let's talk about it."

You bit your lip as you listened to Suhmin talk.

Chan's number called you again.

"Baby. Answer me, where are you right now?"

You stared at Chan's contact at the top of your screen... It wasn't Chan...

"Y/N! Don't make me ask again!"

You don't know why you did, but you hung up and answered Chan's number.

The deep voice that came from the other end comforted you..

"Y/N. Are you okay? Why were you crying?" Felix asked.

"4th floor, apartment 7, Dreamscape Flats, Straight Lane." You blurted, before muttering. "Please.."

Felix was quiet for a moment before saying, "I'm on the way."

When Felix got to your apartment and found the door unlocked, he was in full right to think something had happened. "Y/N!" He entered and looked around, your apartment was small and tidy.

Felix ran around looking for you before he heard your voice.

"I'm here."

He ran to the sound and tried to open the door, finding it locked. "Are you okay?"

You were standing in front of your door, "Yeah."

"What happened?"

"I-" You closed your mouth.

"You?" Felix leaned against the door.

"I'm scared." You said softly.

Felix didn't ask why. He just sat outside your door on the floor of your apartment. You didn't say anything either, and just sat there on the other side.

"It's okay." Felix said quietly, leaning his head against the door.

"What?" You asked.

"It's okay to be scared." Felix said, "I get scared too."

"It's not like that."

"Big fear? Haunting fear?" Felix sighed, "I fear hurting people, losing people. It keeps me up at night. I get it."

Silence.

"Did Chan ever tell you the time he showed me how to play Uno?" he said after twenty minutes as if nothing was wrong.

"No."

"I didn't know how to play then, so when I had a draw two obviously i had to back it up with a draw four card."

You turned to listen better.

"So I was all like 'Pick two more.' and Channie said, 'Pick up four." and AHH.. I used my draw four. And Chan had a draw 4 as well. He was like 'Pick up... 12!' OHH I hated Uno for a good minute and a half." He laughed lightly.

You giggled.

Felix smiled as he heard your laugh.

The door to your apartment opened and Chan and Changbin stood in the doorway.

"Yongbokkie?" Chan looked confusedly at Felix.

The blonde man stood and knocked your bedroom door. "Chan and Changbin are here. I'm leaving."

You unlocked your door and smiled, "Thank you for coming.."

Felix smiled at you, "Anytime."

Chan and Changbin looked at each other with even more confused looks.

You looked at your friends. "Where were you guys?"

When you came around Chan's apartment, more often then not Felix was there. You learned several things about him then, Felix made amazing brownies, he was a living ray of sunshine, and he could imitate a mosquito, much to your annoyance.

Felix was in your apartment, buzzing to annoy you... just because...

"If you don't stop buzzing I'll swat you like a mosquito." You said, eyes narrowing.

Felix laughed and smiled. "I think that would hurt a lot, and I would not like it."

You rolled your eyes and slapped his hand gently.

He fell over faking death.

Your doorbell rang and Felix looked at you.

"I'm not expecting anyone else." You stood and went to open the door but something deep down told you no...

Your hand froze at the knob.

"Y/N." Suhmin's voice came through the door. "Who is that with you?"

You sucked in a breathe and stumbled back, "No-"

Felix moved to your side, "Who's there?"

You looked at his face, it held an expression you hadn't seen on him before, and one you hoped to never cause.

"I should ask you that." Suhmin's voice came again, "Why are you in my girlfriend's apartment?"

You shook your head, opened your mouth but no words came out.

Felix hesitantly touched your shoulder, You flinched in fear, eyes wide.

Felix smiled at you gently, "Get back."

And before you could stop him he opened the door. Kang Suhmin stood there glaring at Felix.

"Talk to me." Felix smiled.

Suhmin pushed past Felix and bull charged for you, shouting, "I get arrested and you start dragging other men into your place?!"

You flinched as he screamed at you.

"Huh? Answer m-" Suhmin was cut off as Felix grabbed the back of his collar and pulled him away from you, shoving him.

"Y'know I hate to be some to accuse others. But I think you're an abuser."

"You pretty faced punk." Suhmin raised his hand to hit Felix who just stood there, waiting.

"KANG SUHMIN!"

Suhmin jumped in fear.

Chan stood at the end of the hall of your apartment floor. "What do you think you're doing?!"

You collapsed to your knees and started hyperventilating.

Felix ran to you and shook you a bit. "Breathe."

Suhmin ran off as Chan ran down the hall.

"I shouldn't have- He's going t-"

"Nothing." Felix said. "He won't touch you..."

You looked at Felix for a long time.

He smiled gently, "Not while I'm here."

"I don't like going out.." You muttered.

Felix mad a face. "You have to try, plus the place I want to take you isn't crowded."

You reluctantly agreed to go. Felix hadn't lied, the park he'd taken you was almost empty, he led you to a big tree on a hill from there you could see everything in the park.

"I wanted to bring you because the sunset is beautiful here." Felix smiled, eyes scanning the park, "And because the ice cream here is good."

You laughed as Felix led you down the hill to the ice cream vendor.

Felix got strawberry and you got (flavor), you wondered around the park a bit, looking at the little ducks in the pond. Felix led you back up the hill as the sun set, you marveled at the pretty oranges and purples.

Felix smiled at you, taking in the beautiful astonished look on your face. "The stars look amazing from here too."

You looked at Felix, "How did you find out about this?"

"Chan and I used to explore a lot.." His eyes met yours, "Thought you'd like it."

"I do.." You looked up at the sky as the stars became visible. "Someone told me a while ago, the stars that shine the brightest are people who let go of fear. I wish I could be a star like them, fear nothing."

Felix watched tHe way you gripped the grass. He hesitantly put his hand on yours. "What exactly are you afraid of.."

You looked at him, "Hurting."

It was half past midnight, Felix was half asleep when you called him. He fumbled to answer and sat up, "What's wrong.."

"Can you come over.."

Felix looked at the time, "gimme 20 minutes."

Felix knocked on your door before his phone buzzed. He looked at the text you'd sent, "The key is under the mat."

He smiled slightly and unlocked the door, slipping the key back under the mat before entering and closing the door behind him. He walked around and came to your bedroom door, "Y/N..?"

"Come in."

Felix opened the door and saw you sitting there, in sweat pants and a big t-shirt. "Are you okay?" He asked softly.

You didn't answer for a long second before, you patted the bed beside you.

He sat beside you, looking at you.

"I... I had a nightmare." You whispered.

"About?" He tilted his head.

You hugged your pillow. "I- He-"

Felix smiled gently and wrapped his arms around you. "The guy who came here a while ago?"

You nodded, head resting against his chest, listening to the deep vibration of his voice.

Felix squeezed your shoulder gently. "He can't do anything to you. I won't let him." He rubbed your shoulder gently and after a moment you said quietly.

"It was 3 years ago, Suhmin and I were dating and he used to hurt me."

Felix didn't say anything.

"He never hit me, just... even if I didn't want to do it, he'd make me. And it would hurt."

Felix squeezed you and whispered, "And you stayed..?"

"Where was I supposed to go? He cut me off from everyone... he made me think it was normal." You went quiet.

Felix looked at you. "You don't have to say..."

"I told Chan. I hadn't seen him or any of the guys in months... And my friend Jisung confronted him. Suhmin attacked him."

Felix exhaled slowly.

"And Chan beat the crap out of him for it, and got him arrested. When he came the other day, I was so confused..."

"If he comes again, he's not getting far, I might beat the idea of a restraining order into him." Felix said quietly.

You looked up at him. "Stay."

Felix sucked in a breath.

"Please..?"

"Okay..."

Jisung bounced with Chan to your apartment, Chan unlocked the door and his brows furrowed, it was very, very quiet.

Chan opened the door to your bedroom and blinked in shock for a moment before smiling slightly.

JIsung was about to gasp loudly, but Chan covered his mouth and shook his head.

You were dead asleep, snuggled close to Felix who held you against him.

Slowly Chan closed the door and smiled at Jisung. "I guess we should go."

It was late into the morning when you finally woke up. Your brows furrowed as you felt someone hugging you. Then the memory slapped you in the face. You carefully pulled away from Felix and looked at his sleeping face, so calm and pretty.

You started moving to get out of bed when a deep voice (deeper than usual said, "You're awake.."

"I just woke up." You looked at Felix, his eyes were still closed.

"I woke up a while ago but I didn't want to disturb you. You looked like you needed the rest." He said, opening one eye and smiling sleepily.

You smiled, "Thank you."

Felix sat up, "I have to go see Chan later, you okay on your own?"

You looked at Felix and made a face.

He laughed slightly and got up to leave, you walked with him to the door and your eyes met.

He smiled gently, leaning in and kissing your cheek gently. "Call me if you need."

You felt your stomach jump and you heart fluttered. You nodded and ushered him out.

You sat on your couch and called Jisung, biting you nail.

"You're awake?"

"What-"

"Your angel faced lover boy with you?" He asked teasingly.

"YOU WERE IN MY APARTMENT??!"

"And Chan- we were going to take you out for breakfast but considering the situation, we decided against it."

You face went red and you said quietly, "I trust him Ji.. I trust him a lot."

You heard Chan's voice on the other end, "I would too!"

"AM I ON SPEAKER???!!"

Jisung cackled and you hung up, rolling your eyes.

You looked at the ceiling and smiled.

Felix sipped his juice and avoided Chan's eyes, fearing he might end up laughing.

Changbin stared him down slowly. "How did you do it?"

Felix finally looked up, "Do what?"

Hyunjin leaned back in his chair, "You guy didn't- did you?"

"NO!" Felix looked back at his juice as the rest of the men laughed.

Minho nudged him gently. "Y/N hasn't interacted with guys outside of us very well at all since what happened."

"She didn't interact well with me in the beginning but I couldn't judge her without understanding." Felix said spinning his straw.

Chan smiled, "I trust you Yongbokkie."

Felix smiled at his friend.

Jeongin smiled at Felix, "and if Suhmin appears beat the crap out of him."

"Since when did you condone violence??!" Hyunjin shrieked.

"Since he hurt her." Jeongin said matter-of-factly.

Jisung shook his head, "Yongbok... as long as she's happy."

Felix thought about what you'd told him, normal.. to be in pain like that.. He exhaled slowly.

Felix was sitting on your couch, your head rested on his lap as you slept. He smiled and stroked your hair, his eyes flicked to your phone as he heard your ring tone and he carefully grabbed it from beside you.

Unknown Number.

He answered.

"Sweetie. Can we talk? I'm sorry. That guy in your house, who was he that day? I won't get mad... Hello? Y/N?"

"Ah." Felix said.

The man on the other end of the line went quiet.

"She's sleeping. Don't call her again, it doesn't take that much to put someone back in jail for abuse."

"Are you threatening me?"

"Depends on how you take it." Felix said, he looked down at you and smiled.

"So what? You're her new boyfriend?"

"Is that a problem..?" Felix asked, eyes narrowing.

Suhmin laughed on the other end of the line. "Me and Y/N never broke up. You should leave before I get there."

"I found a vacant place in her heart, I wanted it, I took it. Come get me if you want. I'm waiting."

"Y-"

Felix hung up and smiled gently at you.

"Who were you talking to...?" You asked sleepily.

"No one important."

You were about to leave your house to go to Jisung's, Felix was coming to get you.. You opened the door and flinched, Suhmin stood there looking at you, "Sweetie." He reached for you but you stepped back.

"Don't touch me."

His eyes narrowed. "Y'know someone told me that you told them I was manipulating you. You ran around telling people that?"

"Suhmin no-" You took another step back.

"Are you scared of me? What? You think I'm going to hurt you? I told you it wasn't on purpose-"

"Leave."

"Y/n."

"Get out." He walked into your apartment and you shook your head. "Leave!"

He reached for you and you cowered out of his reach. His brows knit together in anger. "Really? Is that the idea you have in your head? That I'm hurting you?!" He grabbed your arm roughly. "Huh?! Where's that boyfriend of yours?! All talk on the phone! WHERE IS HE!?"

You flinched.

"If you touch her," There was so much venom lacing the voice you looked up in fear. "I'm going to kill you."

Suhmin let go of you and turned to face Felix.

You stumbled back and started hyperventilating.

Felix's eyes narrowed at Suhmin. "Try me."

Suhmin stiffened.

"Get the fuck out."

Suhmin turned to you, then looked at Felix before huffing and running out.

Felix ran to you and grabbed your hands. "hey... hey.." He took your face gently in his hands. "It's me. Breathe."

You nodded and started taking deep breaths.

"Good.." Felix smiled gently, "Did he hurt you?"

You shook your head and swallowed.

Felix released you and looked at his lap. "I'm so sorry.."

"You didn-"

"I provoked him, I'm so, so, so sorry.." Felix didn't look at you.

You grabbed his face and made him look at you, "You didn't do anything wrong..."

"You could've gotten hurt."

"Am I though?"

He shook his head slowly.

"Then why are you sulking..." You gave him a small smile, "You saved me."

Felix stared into your eyes.

You felt the heat rushing to your cheeks.

He leaned close, his hand gently caressing your cheek as he moved closer, breath mingling with yours as he breathed. "Can I kiss you?"

You nodded and he pressed his lips against yours. You blushed deeply as he pulled away.

"I don't know who taught him anything, but love isn't supposed to hurt... Let me show you?"

You stomach did a flip and you stuttered. "I- Y- No- But- I c-can't."

Felix tilted his head and smiled, "A smart woman told me not too long ago 'the stars that shine the brightest are people who let go of fear', I wonder when she'll join them.."

You looked into his eyes, "I.."

"We can stop if it's too much or if it hurts..." he said quietly, "If you'll let me."

When he kissed you this time, you gasped softly as his hand slipped around your waist, drawing you closer. He took the opportunity to push his tongue into you mouth, your tongues clashed fr a brief moment before he squeezed you, smirking against your lips as you whimpered. He pulled away and whispered, "This all for me, sunshine?"

You looked away face flushed.

"Oh, don't hide baby," He turned your head to face him and kissed you again, "I'm going to go slow."

He'd placed you gently on the bed and gotten on top of you, just admiring you for the longest time.

You avoided his gaze.

"Are you nervous?" He laughed lightly.

You nodded. "It's been a bit."

"I'm nervous too.. But I've got you, sunshine." He leaned down and kissed you, his mouth moving to your jaw before going lower to your neck. Hands moving beneath your shirt.

You gasped softly as his tongue drifted across your collar and his dark eyes met yours, "Can I take it off?"

You nodded and he pulled your shirt off, carefully removing your bra and whispering, "So pretty."

You blushed and he kissed your chest, he moved and sucked your right nipple between his lips, pinching the left gently. He groaned softly at the soft moans that left your lips before he pulled back, "So sensitive... It's cute."

You looked away and he chuckled kissing down your belly and pausing at the waistband of your pants. He looked up at you for permission and you nodded slowly.

He pulled you pants off slowly and exhaled slowly as he removed your pantie. "This is mine, for me.." he breathed a laugh and grabbed your hips, dragging you towards him.

You squealed, "Oh god-"

He looked up at you, his pupils blown, angelic face looking at you with an expression that read desire and affection... you hid your face.

He laughed and rested his head on your thigh, soft blonde hair, draping over your skin. "Look at me."

You looked down at the blonde haired man and swallowed.

He kissed your thigh gently and pulled his shirt off, before moving before moving between your thighs and kissing your clit gently.

"Felix ple-" You moaned as he licked your clit, the stimulation zipping down your spine before he sucked it into his mouth.

You jerked and grabbed his hair, he groaned into you as you pulled. "Greedy." He muttered, gripping your thighs and drawing you into his mouth, you moaned and whined.

You squirmed and jerked, letting out an embarrassingly loud moan as he slipped a finger into you.

He laughed lightly and continued his ministrations, his thumb making a figure 8 on your clit as he applied just enough pressure. You squealed as he pushed in another finger, covering your face in embarrassment as he moved back over you, middle and ring finger pumping slowly as he took to grinding his palm on you.

"Who said you could hide? Look at me honey.." His voice was deeper and huskier with lust.

You looked up at him and your heart fluttered.

"Is it too much?" he whispered.

"N-No.."

He smirked and raised a brow. "So it's not enough?"

You tried to protest but his fingers moved faster, pushing in deeper, you let out a guttural moan as he found your g-spot and assaulted it with his fingers.

"Are you close?" He asked, looking down into your eyes.

You nodded and moaned.

"Use your words..."

"Yes, Felix, please!"

He groaned, and started rubbing your clit. "Good girl."

You felt the knot in your abdomen snap and your vision went white for a moment, body stiffening and mouth falling open in a silent scream.

You whimpered as you came down from your high. Felix cooed softly, "Did so well, so pretty when you cum..."

You watched as Felix took off his pants and boxers, his length slapped against his abdomen and you stared at him for a moment.

He looked at you, "We don't have to-"

"I want to." You whispered.

Felix's eyes darkened and he got onto the bed and caged you in. His eyes raked over your body before they met yours and he kissed you gently, positioning himself at your entrance and pushing in slowly.

You moan softly and hold onto him tightly, his blonde hair fell around his face, he groaned deeply as he began moving slowly. It was a burning sensation you were familiar with, but the burn felt good... the slow, gentle drag of his hips as he kissed your neck and shoulder.

You moaned softly as he continued thrusting into you slowly. His mouth moved to find yours, swallowing your quiet cries.

He pulled away panting, pressing his forehead against yours. "I'm going to cum.."

You moaned and whispered, "Not inside..."

Felix groaned and threw his head back, forcing himself to pull out before he came inside. He jerked himself a few times and let out a strangled whine as he came on your stomach.

He kissed you gently and went to your bathroom, getting a cloth to clean you with. You relaxed as he pulled you close.

"I didn't hurt you right?"

"No.." you said quietly.

"Good." He breathed. "I love you.."

You gave him a soft smile and pressed closer. "i love you too.."