#if you don't want to squeeze them all in your bio or pinned you can always link your pronouns page
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neopronoun-user-culture-is · 11 months ago
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Hi! I have a question about neopronouns. I always try to respect someone's neopronouns, but sometimes they don't list all the neopronoun forms on their profile, and I can't contact them. Like, they might just have "ne" as their pronoun. That could be a lot of things, including but not limited to ne/ne/ne's, ne/nim/nis, ne/ner/ners, ne/nem/nir, etc. How do I avoid misgendering people in this situation? Thanks!
Best way is always to just ask, but in scenarios where you can't contact them, I'd default to the most common/popular version of the pronoun set.
I don't know of any other way to guess what their pronouns are and it's definitely not your fault for getting it wrong if you have no way of knowing their full pronouns.
This is why I think it's best to list the full version of your pronouns somewhere (like I have in the pinned post) so people don't run into this issue.
Especially when your pronouns have a lot of different popular variations like xe. (I've seen xe/xem, xe/xer, xe/xir, xe/xyr, etc and that's not even counting full set variations)
I know when you have multiple sets it can get lengthy to list them all in full but it's the best way to make sure you don't get misgendered (anymore than neo users already get misgendered-)
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myveryownfanfiction · 10 months ago
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18+ MINORS AND THOSE WITHOUT AGE IN BIO DNI
chapter 2
tags: @illiana-mystery, @cassieuncaged, @cryptic-michael
warnings: hunger games, killing, blood, swearing
after the events of the parade, I had done pretty well for myself during the ranking. I had earned myself a 10. Blaze had gotten a 7. I was now a target of the careers. Fielding was getting me ready to be interviewed by Nero Flickerman.
"They already love you." He said as he pinned my hair back. "Just make sure that they love you enough to send you money and supplies." I nodded as he covered my eyes to spray hairspray over me. "Make sure to wash that out tonight. You don't want to go into the area with helmet hair." He shuddered and I rolled my eyes.
"Will Snow be there tonight?" I asked. Fielding nodded. "What do I do?"
"Let him do what he wants." Fielding reminded me, waving his brush at me. "You took the initiative last time. Now it's his turn. Just like dating sweetheart." I stared at him and Fielding raised his eyebrows at me. "You have dated right?" I shook my head. "What?!"
"I'm sorry. I was more concerned with my family not starving to death." I deadpanned. Fielding shook his head and muttered something about district life under his breath. He finished up and helped me into my dress. He attached the small hair clip and led me down to the waiting car. I kept fidgeting with the dress, thinking that the nude coloring would allow the audience to see what I was wearing under it. The feeling of the flower petals against my skin didn't help matters either. Fielding kept grabbing my hands and gently placing them back at my sides. He rode with me to the center where the interview would be held.
"You're going to do perfect. If you ever get nervous, find me in the crowd." He assured me, rubbing my arm. "Or Snow. You seem to do well around him." I nodded and squeezed his arm before I was led away in line. Blaze looked me over before shaking his head.
"Another show for Snow?" he asked. I nodded.
"I'm the favorite." I muttered. Blaze scoffed and I rolled my eyes. The longer this went on, the more judgmental he got. It was making me almost ready to get into the arena to get away from him. Before I knew it, I was being led up onto the stage to cheers. I smiled and waved at the audience as Nero took my arm. He led me to the seat and I carefully sat down. "Hello." I said softly.
"Hello. So (Y/N), you seem to be the capitol's golden girl. How does that make you feel?" I shrugged and smiled, eyes searching the crowd for Fielding. When I couldn't find him, I searched for Snow. Finding him, I breathed out softly.
"It is a bit strange. I'm a nobody in twelve. All this attention is a bit much." I said. Snow smirked at me and my breath caught slightly.
"I can assure you, the attention is well deserved." Nero said, taking my hand. "Saving a child..." He shook his head and looked out at the crowd. "And risking your own life to do it." I shrugged and smiled.
"I used to do it all the time in twelve." I tore my attention away from Snow, who had blushed and looked away. "Nothing to it really. The real risk was jumping into President Snow's booth." The audience laughed. "I can imagine next year the booth won't be so close to the parade route." I blushed slightly as he caught my eye. Nero chuckled and noticed the look between the two of us.
"It does seem that you have caught his eye." I blushed again as Nero nodded at President Snow. "And I do believe he has something for you." I looked between the two and panicked slightly. President Snow made his way to the stage and pulled something from his pocket.
"I do believe your 18th birthday falls during the Games." Snow said. I nodded as I stared up at him. He smiled softly at me. "Such a shame that a milestone like that will be marred by death and destruction." He held his hand out for me and I took it, allowing him to pull me up. "If you would all join in..." Snow turned towards the audience and Nero started to sing. My eyes widened and I blushed as the entirety of the Capitol sang happy birthday to me. Snow moved behind me and I felt the weight of a necklace being put around my neck. I went to turn around but Snow stepped closer to me to stop me. My hand went to the charm and I pulled it into view. The small leaf with red paint felt heavy against my fingers. "For you my dear." Snow breathed into my ear. "Don't do it now. But in the tower, open it. It will help you in the arena. When that cannon sounds, run. Don't try to get a weapon. You'll already have one. Just run. Run like your life depends on it." He let me turn around and I stared into his eyes. His face was stone but his eyes shone with worry for me. I nodded.
"Thank you sir." I breathed out, our conversation covered by the singing and cheers. "I'll run. And use this to the best of my ability." Snow nodded.
"That's all I ask." He responded, leaning over to kiss my cheek. I was ushered off stage, looking back to see Snow watching me. When I was in the safety of my room at the tower, I opened the necklace to find a sharp knife. I swallowed hard at the implications of it and tucked it away under my shirt for safety. That night I laid awake, nervous for my first day in the arena and hoping against hope that my necklace wouldn't be taken from me before I made it there. The next morning, I was woken and dressed in the outfit chosen for the Games. Fielding went with me to the helicarrier. Peacekeepers were trying to tear me away from him, one grabbing my necklace and yanking it off in front of the camera. Fielding jumped into action, grabbing it and pressing it into my shoe for safe keeping. I let out a sigh of relief as I felt its weight against my foot.
"You're going to be ok." He assured me, kissing my head before letting me be taken away. Peacekeepers manhandled me onto the carrier and I watched as Fielding grew smaller and smaller as I was taken to the arena. I was taken underground and pushed into the room. I grabbed the necklace out of my shoe and checked it. Breathing a sigh of relief, I put it back around my neck and hid it under my top. I stepped into the glass tube and tensed up as I was lifted into the arena. A giant pile of weapons and supplies stood before me as I looked around. It looked like a forest or jungle. I couldn't see water but I was sure that if I explored enough I would find it. A plan started to form, centering around finding water and getting up high. The other tributes shifted restlessly and I looked over at Blaze. He nodded towards the pile and I shook my head, Snow's voice ringing in my ears to run.
"Ladies and gentleman, welcome to the 26th Hunger Games!" Nero's voice rang out before a cannon. I turned and ran into the forest. The sounds of slaughter rang in my ears as I ran. I stumbled over roots and rocks but kept running, the look in snows eyes pushing me further. I skidded to a stop as I heard the cannon. It kept firing and I fumbled inside my top for the necklace, grabbing onto it and holding tight. Ten times the cannon went off. I stood for a second in the quiet and then looked around. I could smell the water but wasn’t sure which direction to go. I heard a noise far behind me and turned to the nearest tree. Scrambling up, I hid in the foliage.
“for fucks sake.” I heard blaze mutter below me. I held my breath and stared down at him. He looked around and sighed before propping a sword and a bow with quiver against the tree I was hiding in. He hid it behind some branches and turned to look behind him. “The things I do for that girl and this is the thanks I get.” He took off running and I climbed higher to see where he was going. Peeking out of the tree, I caught sight of blaze going against a career just in time for blaze to get stabbed in the neck. My breath caught and I ducked back down as the cannon went off. There was a second cannon which I could only assume meant blaze took the career with him. Slowly making my way back down the tree, I grabbed the supplies he had gotten me and climbed back up. As the arena shifted to night, I heard the capitol theme start playing. Nero read off the names of those who had died during the day as their image flashed on the dome.
“and from district twelve…blaze jay.” I frowned as I noticed a countdown clock in the corner of the images. “Twelve tributes down. Twelve left. Good luck to those left, with special luck sent to (Y/N) (Y/L/N) who only has a day and a half until her 18th birthday. May the odds be ever in your favor.” The banner faded out and I stared at where it had been in shock. They were counting down my birthday.
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peach-and-bugs · 1 year ago
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🧡Vanessa "Van" Palmer NSFW Alphabet🧡 (18+, age in bio/pinned or you will be blocked)
🧡Read the SFW Alphabet here!🧡
Fanfiction master list
disclaimer: don't repost my work. I only post on Tumblr and on Ao3. anything else is stolen and should be removed immediately
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Warnings: It's all dirty [AFAB Reader/anatomy used] (18+, age in bio/pinned or you will be blocked)
Word Count: 1,644
A/N: Yall wanted it soooooo bad, so here you go! As always, feel free to leave questions or comments in my comments or ask box, and happy reading!🧡
Vanessa "Van" Palmer Tag List: @blairfox04 @kyleeservopoulos
Yellowjackets Tag List: @frasersgf @minimickzy
General Tag List: @summergeezburr
-🧡-
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Van gets sleepy after sex and will fall asleep if you let her, but she enjoys some mellow intimacy as well when all is said and done. She seems like the type to enjoy a shared shower after sex or just cuddling, maybe even reading 
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
That’s a tits woman if I’ve ever seen one. Like, it’s not in an objectifying way by any means, but if she had to pick her favorite part of you that gets her off, it's your boobs. It’s a really common joke of hers to squeeze one without warning and make the stupidest honking sound, and no matter how much you may act like you hate it she knows that you’re lying. 
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
She loves making you cum. The tight, warm feeling around her fingers and the way you press against her, grabbing at her for support while she makes you feel that way. It always boosts her ego when she can get you going quickly and cumming even quicker. She loves that dopamine smile you give her and how you practically melt like putty in her hands when you finish
D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
She’s into primal sort of (though she wouldn't define it that way) but feels guilty about it because it reminds her of how she was in the wilderness. She’s concerned it comes from a place of aggression from her teens and is even more concerned that she could go too far and hurt you in some way. But she loves the feeling of nails leaving white crescent indents on her skin and she tends to bite her hand when you go down on her. 
E = Experience (how experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
Ms. Plamer is very experienced. She had a very colorful sex life in college (I think she went for a few years but didn’t graduate) and that continued into her adult life.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
She loves pinning you down to the bed while she fingers you and kisses your neck. Her favorite thing is when your wrap your arm around her neck and your hand finds the back of her hair, holding her lips to your neck. She also loves the close-up view of your face as your eyes squeeze shut and you bite your lip, trying to suppress the sounds you want to make, only to eagerly let them go when she tells you she wants to hear.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)
She often attempts at being serious but she naturally jokes in nearly every situation, so it doesn't work out, despite her focus. 
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Girlfriend is all-natural. She’s never been the type to shave and she enjoys her body hair. She isn’t gonna tell anyone else what to do with their body, but she finds it strange when people actively talk about body hair like it’s a negative thing
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? The romantic aspect)
In an established relationship she’s all about romance, but kinda in a jobing way? Like, she of course loves you, and she's not making fun of that, not ever, but she does make fun of those sex scenes in those corny romance movies play out (you know, the ones she insists she doesn’t like but always ends up sticking around for). She’s the type to reference one of those scenes while getting intimate with you if you watched one recently because she knows that a cheesy oneliner is guaranteed to make you laugh, and that's what makes it intimate for her. She loves making you laugh because no one can do it the way she can, and no one else gets to hear that laugh slipping past your lips as they’re pressed against hers as she does. 
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
If she feels the need or desire to masturbate, she prefers getting off with her hands and knows what she’s doing but she doesn’t do it all that often. She’d rather have her needs met with another person over masturbating if given the choice
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Again, primal. But she doesn’t call it that because let’s face it, she’s not in on modern lingo in general, but especially not kink lingo. Other than that she’s not that kinky in my opinion. Sure, she likes being dominant, but not in a bdsm way. She prefers things more on the vanilla side compared to what some of the other girls might be into shall we say
L = Location (favorite places to do they do)
Not a location, but she loves morning sex, especially in the spring and summer when it’s warm and you wake up with the window open and the breeze coming in. She likes kissing you awake and seeing that pretty smile of yours dripping with sleep as you greet her with a horse, underused whispery voice that eventually turns into breathy moans and whimpers once she gets the go-ahead for her favorite activity. She also loves cooking breakfast after because you’re extra clingy with her
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Exposed skin. Something about you out in public wearing something that shows off just a little extra of the goods she’s used to getting her extra excited if she’s in the mood. Going swimming together is the absolute worst though because once you're home her hands are all over you, insisting that you both need a shower.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)
Ignore the words “no” or “stop”. Some people are into that and have a different safe word, but the second she hears either one she’s stopping everything she’s doing and insisting that you tell her what she did wrong so she can fix it and that’s completely nonnegotiable. 
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
She prefers giving just bc she’s a giving person, but she just loves eating out and she’s extremely talented at it. She likes smiling up at you when she’s done with a stupid grin and shiny chin. 
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Fast because she likes getting her reward, but she’s very gentle about it. She’s not gonna edge you unless you explicitly ask because she’s far too driven to get you to the finish line naturally
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Not big on quickies. Maybe in the morning before opening the store, but she’d rather wait and have more time with you than take a quickie 
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)
She’s willing to experiment but she’s not keen on it. She’s completely satisfied with a routine sex life
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)
With you she can go as many rounds as you like, but if it’s her receiving she gets overstimulated quite easily. She doesn’t like going back to back, so she needs time between orgasm 
T = Toys (do they own toys or use them on a partner or themselves?)
Not really into toys. She's too hands-on. She likes knowing that every bit of pleasure that you’re feeling is thanks to her rather than a toy. But if you really want to use one, she’ll give it a go. But it’ll never be her idea
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
She’s not a huge tease. She will start teasing, but she's far too eager to keep the act up and prefers getting what she wants over getting you hot and bothered because she knows she can do that much faster than she can from teasing you alone. She’s not good about being teased though. She gets easily frustrated and wants what she wants. 
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Not all that loud. Like, not screaming, but she’s not afraid to make sounds. More of a groaner than a moaner shall we say
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
I think Van could use marijuana for her own personal pain management for her cancer and sometimes that leads to sex while high, which she loves! But it’s always a lot slower, clumsier, and messier than your regular sex. There's a lot of laughing and getting distracted but it’s always a great time for the both of you.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
Naturally, a more muscular build because she’s always been very active, and of course body hair + all of her scars. She has both burn scars that have faded quite a bit over time but she’s also got more scars like the ones on her face littered all over. She only says they’re from a dog attack when she was a teenager and nothing more and you don’t question it, though you know it's probably a lie. She finds comfort in the way you’ll run your fingers over her scars though. It reminds her that though the way she earned them might not have been very traditional, they’re still a part of her and her story like every scar is for every person. 
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Not that high. Sex isn’t a requirement for her honestly and it's not something she needs regularly but more like something she enjoys.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)
She can fall asleep very quickly if allowed and she falls asleep hard.
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smolghostbot · 1 year ago
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GT July: Banter
In which I write for a prompt named "Banter" when only one of the characters can speak. :P (I think I pulled it off)
Story takes place well into the future after they're a Something. Technically Melody SHOULD be using Patch's actual name when being serious as they can properly communicate by now, but we're ignoring that for sake of Mystery(tm)
Word Count: 600 Character bios in my pinned post Worst CW I can think of is mocking a physical attribute (ears), but through a lighthearted, joking, and fantasy lens. When I'm scraping that hard for warnings, you know it is fluffytime.
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It was a lazy Wednesday, one of Mel's days off work, and Patch was relaxing on the couch with her. The sprite was practicing drawing what they saw on the TV as they watched a nature documentary. Mel was lying upside-down on the couch, her long legs up against the wall and her head on the seat right next to Patch as she read a book, the cover of which had some generic knights riding on horses. Patch wasn't quite able to make out the name considering the book was upside-down, and their Human Script was still a bit rusty.
"Boop."
Don't do anything, don't say anything, she just wants to get a rise out of me… Patch thought to themself, as their ear twitched in response to Melody's poke. It was a completely involuntary reflex which always made Melody coo and giggle, as she found it to be the cutest thing ever.
"hmmm… boop!"
Okay she gets one more and then she's dead.
"hmmmmm……"
Patch braced themself for it. They could feel the ear boop happening any second… but there wasn't one.
"Hehe… tricked ya!" the human exclaimed, giggling again. Patch stood up and turned around, only to immediately have their ear poked. "Boop!".
Patch immediately started "angrily" stomping their feet, fists clenched as they looked at their human companion. This was half genuine, but was also an indicator to Melody that they were okay with this little game. Had they not been in the mood, that was their time to sign a "no".
The human smirked at her small companion before continuing. "You know, you're just the cutest little sprite ever. You know that, right? With your big cute ears?"
Patch crossed their arms defiantly, Melody knew they hated being called cute and played it up for all she could. "Aw… don't give me that cute little scowl, you know you love me!"
The human placed the book down on their chest, forming a heart with her hands. Patch did a similar motion in response, but then split the heart in two, an exaggerated angry look on their face. Melody placed a hand over her heart and gasped at this gesture in a mock astonishment.
"I can't believe you would say such hurtful things! All I did was compliment your cute and adorable ears!"
Patch responded by squeezing their ears closer to their face, in what Melody had seen before as a mockery of her own rounded ears. Learning that Patch (and all sprites, apparently) found human ears weird and ugly was one of the funniest things Melody had learned about their species, although considering how much they used their ears as part of their body language, she supposed it made sense. The human replied to this gesture with feigned indignation and offense.
"Wow, Patch. Wow. Here I am trying to be a good person, a diplomat between our peoples, and you show up with such a hateful and insensitive display. Frankly, I expected better of you as ambassador for spritekind."
At that, she finally hit her limit for what she could say with a straight face, as she started laughing. Patch followed suit, not quite understanding the joke, but the infectious laughter of their human companion was more than enough. Their silent laughter was felt more than heard as the two of them shared this moment.
As she calmed down, the human spoke again, in her normal voice. "Okay, okay, I'll let you get back to your art. Still just goofing around, right?"
Patch smiled genuinely and gave a proper heart symbol with their hands, which the human mirrored before picking up their book, giving a simple "Love you, Patch" before resuming their reading.
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naughtylilbabygirl · 2 years ago
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READ BEFORE INTERACTING!
I am 30, identify mostly as female (Neogirl), & am mentally ill + neurodivergent - I'm autistic, have severe depression & anxiety, ADHD, & bipolar 2.
This is an 18+ kink blog. Minors DNI. Again, age in bio or pinned, or I'll block you.
Also DNI: actual pedophiles, twerfs, swerfs, trans/homophobes, racists, - basically all exclusionists.
Read the kink/hard limit lists below. Don't like one of my kinks, block me. I tag everything extensively.
Also read under the cut about what i will/won't rp if you want to do that.
I want to make something clear: I don't 'have' a twin; i did have a twin. She wasn't born (vanishing twin syndrome). So i suppose I cope with feeling like something's missing by having a twincest or fauxcest/fauxtwincest kink basically. I don't support incest IRL.
Though I have CNC/r@pe & pretend underage kinks, i absolutely don't support such things in real life in any way.
I'm mostly here to share fantasies, RP a little, talk about kinks, etc. I don't know if I'm into being in an actual relationship at this time, but, well, maybe?
Don't send me nudes without asking. I'll block & report instantly just based off the fact that that's fucking rude AF. I might share partial nudes if we're getting along, but won't guarantee anything. However, please feel free to share good porn gifs & pics though, and I'll reciprocate (i collect so much porn lol).
Don't take it personally if i don't reply for a while. I disappear for a couple weeks often before i get my good meds and can come back. I'll reply to messages when I can, promise.
Again: READ THE KINK & HARD LIMITS LISTS BELOW AND THE RP GUIDE UNDER IT.
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What i do & don't RP:
What i like to RP:
🔥ass spanking, especially hard otk by hand, but anything not super harsh (like heavy bruising & drawing blood) is good too. Paddles, hairbrushes, crops, straps, and canes if I'm really bad.
🔥 pussy spanking very much wanted; would love to be in diaper position or Viennese Oyster position, and would love hard hand spanking, straps, swatters, and riding crops used on me.
(info: no spankings count if they don't turn an ass/pussy at least a medium shade of red)
🔥wedgies, especially an all-around wedgie, flossing wedgie, hanging wedgies, &/or one i have to wear for hours, especially a permanent wedgie I have under my clothes while out in public
🔥having my full bladder being pressed on and rubbed and squeezed and generally tortured; being made to drink several bottles of juice or water every few hours. Also, not belong allowed to pee without permission, and only in my diaper, like a real baby slut
🔥 painful CNC/r@peplay; r@pe any/all of my holes, & either keep me if you want a r@pedoll or leave me with ruined holes and pregnant with several rape babies inside me (maybe even tied up at home to be found by my family, or in public somewhere, maybe with a sign or body writing saying how I am a r@peslut/r@petoy and how I came X times from it)
🔥impregnation/birth, especially of multiples, and the more the better. Also erotic birth torture & birth denial, like fucking me while I'm trying to give birth and pushing the baby all the way back to my cervix with your cock, or letting the baby crown & pushing it back inside, or reaching inside me to twist the baby around in my pussy and make them squirm inside me. I'm into really erotic births where I'm made to cum over and over - when each baby comes out of my cervix, when you fuck me while the baby/s are already in my birth canal, when they crown, when you push them back inside me, when you move them around in my pussy and they squirm or kick in my slutty pregnant pussy, and ofc when I'm allowed to finally push each baby out.
🔥 related: since I'll have so many babies to nurse throughout the day and night, would love to be fucked while nursing them bc it's so dirty for me to cum over and over while feeding our babies at the same time
🔥belly button torture; having my navel fingered, spread open, fucked, putting toys in it, etc.
🔥face-fucking; having my mouth used like a fucktoy by a pussy, cock, strap, et all.
🔥 servicing/pleasing my Domme: worshipping your pussy/cock/ass with my mouth for as long as you want me to, waiting naked and kneeling by the door when you come home so you can use my mouth right away, and ofc all my holes being free use all the time, even in public (and if I say no, then you just r@pe me instead, and picking a punishment for saying 'no', like having my holes hate-fucked painfully hard until I apologize and thank you for raping me like I need)
🔥 humiliating/painful things like cuntbusting, stepping on my pussy with a rough shoe and either rubbing painfully over it until I cum despite how much it hurts, or making me rub myself on it until I cum, having your foot fuck my pussy and making me cum from it (and then clean you up with my mouth of course),
🔥verbal humiliation (like being called fucktoy and baby slut and r@peslut and breeding slut, etc - no mean things though, like being ugly or stupid or worthless.)
🔥incest – but ONLY with a sibling or cousin, & I'd love to be used along with my twin sister (mentioned above). I can RP as both of us if you want two sluts to use, or even just it watch two twincest sluts touch each other and lick each other's pussies and make each other cum again and again - and then you could jerk off onto our little pussies and tell us to clean each other up
🔥being used in semi-public places, like a dark alley at night, or the woods just off a trail in the park; you always make me cum hard enough that I can't help but be loud, and either curious strangers watch from nearby, or you invite people you know to watch. (And maybe tell them how very slutty your slave is, maybe hold my legs open to show my dripping pussy while you fuck me.)
🔥 body writing is Huge for me. I have a list of fave things here (link to come shortly) that you can write on me whenever and wherever you want, even if people can see them when I'm in public.
🔥 pussy and bladder inspections - throughout the day, at home or in public or even at a friend's house, you'll regularly bend me over and pull up my dress so anyone can see my little pussy or make me stand still and hold my dress up while you spread me open and check my pussy over, maybe softly tickling it if I've been good, or rubbing my swollen clit. For bladder inspections, they happen anywhere too, though sometimes in public you'll feel my swollen bladder over my clothes instead, and when I'm getting full, you always rub it hard, sometimes letting me cum from it. At home or at friends houses, you always pull up my dress or shirt to see my bulge better, and if I'm not full enough, you'll get out my bottles and tell me to drink them all, and I always do. If we're with people we know, maybe you'll let them look - to see how my slutty pussy drips constantly, how if you press on my swollen bladder hard enough, I'll cum over and over until you stop.
🔥 pretend underage (me being the underage one that is); i just like to imagine being small and helpless, and you could just pretend I'm either real little but still a grown up, or pretend I'm a slutty little kiddo who clearly needs an adult Domme to take care of me - mostly by using me as your personal sex doll or fucktoy, since I'm small enough to hold up in midair while you fuck me.
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What i won't RP:
❌calling anyone daddy; pick any other title ok
❌No personal pics to or from me without permission for the former and no pressuring me for the latter.
❌Knives, needles, & similar
❌Tickling
❌Being yelled at
❌Chastity devices & cages & sleeping on the floor & stuff as punishments
❌Being called stupid/ugly/worthless/dumb/etc. Call me slutty, filthy, naughty, dirty, etc instead.
❌ Oviposition/Insect- type impregnation/birth are Not my thing, and also miscarrying or having my babies taken after I give birth (I actually love babies and so that would just make me cry)
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t-lostinworlds · 4 years ago
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Hold On (Tom Holland)
a/n: hello, surprise? but yes, so, i was kind of in a funk for a bit and when that happens, i write angst. then i heard the song (i was listening to my sad playlist as u do aha) and here we are. i wrote this fairly quick so bear with it as it may seemed rushed (it is) so it may be bad heh. also, i suggest listening to the song while reading for full effect.
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pairing: tom holland x female reader summary: You locked yourself in the bathroom when things got overwhelming. Tom felt worried when it went quiet inside for too long, heart stopping by what he saw when he broke through the door. based on song: Hold On - Chord Overstreet warnings: drug overdose (vaguely written & only on tom's pov), angst, brief panic attack, open(?) but happy ending. word count: 3.2k+
masterlist on bio & pinned post
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**US/UK HELPLINES & FREE 24/7 SUICIDE HOTLINES IN DIFFERENT COUNTRIES**
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"I can't do better in helping if you don't tell me what's wrong Y/N," Tom said softly, concerned eyes staring right into your troubled ones.
He had his arms open wide as he slowly inched towards your trembling form, making sure to not get too close, too fast. He doesn't want to overwhelm you by being all over your personal space, he doesn't want to stress you out even more by crowding you. Tom knew he needed to be gentle, patient, giving you enough space to breath but also showing that you can jump into his arms whenever you need to, whenever you're ready to.
"That's the thing Tom, I don't know what's wrong," you started with a shaky intake of breath. "I just feel this pit in my stomach and sometimes it gets so overwhelming in my head about everything, about what I'm even doing with my life, if I'm doing enough, if I am enough. I'm overthinking about everything and I just feel so lost and angry for not knowing what's wrong with me. And I—I am so tired," you admitted, tears slipping down your cheeks as you ran your palm over your face in frustration.
To see your agitated state, to hear the hurt and frustration in your voice, added with your heavy words, it just broke Tom's heart to pieces. You didn't need to elaborate what you meant by 'being tired' because he understood, both physically, emotionally, but especially mentally. And Tom's frown could only deepen as you continued.
"And you can't do better Tom, you don't need to. You've already done so much for me. You've put up with my shit for so long. I've already put you through so much," you trailed off at the end of your sentence, bottom lip quivering as you stared at him with utter guilt.
The look of distress on his features was hurting you so much. You just want to see him happy, that's what he truly deserves. But now it seems like you're not giving him that anymore. Not giving him enough happiness, just nights of him being worried about you, stressed because of you.
"I feel like lately, all I've done is be a burden to my family, to everyone in my life, but even more to you."
Tom shook his head frantically as he took a few steps forward. "No, don't say that love," he whispered.
Once he reached a safe distance, he gently took your hand in his, touch soft, comforting. You let him hold you, eyes trained on the way your fingers intertwined but never looking up. You couldn't bear to hold his gaze, especially with the obvious sadness that swam in them.
"Darling, look at me," Tom coaxed, giving your hands a tender squeeze. With a deep intake of breath, you willed yourself to meet his eyes again. Those brown orbs bring you so much happiness, and to see them filled with everything but, to know that you're the sole reason why they're not coated with that lovely glow, it only makes you feel guiltier.
"You know that's not true Y/N," he said firmly, but you only shook your head at him with a soft whimper, his voice unable to break through the loud screams that filled your mind.
"Angel, you are not a burden to me. I'll always be here for you no matter what, remember? Didn't I promise you that, love?" Tom tried again, both hands going to cup your face as he gently wiped your tears away with his thumb. "When I said I wanted to be here for you, with all the joy and the chaos, all the demons we're made of, I meant that with every beat of my heart Y/N."
"But you deserve so much better Tom," you croaked, nimble fingers wrapping around his wrists, leaning into his warm touch with bottom lip jutted out as fresh tears dampened your cheeks once more.
"No, I don't," Tom objected. "You're all I want, all I ever need, please believe that, believe me Y/N," he whispered, forehead pressed up against yours as his eyes held nothing but truth.
Still, it wasn't enough to help subside the roaring demons in your mind. Not because Tom didn't hold any importance or his words any power, no, he's everything to you. But tonight they just happen to be a lot stronger, the loud and guttural voices. They were blocking anything that's trying to get through to you, blocking the only thing that always seemed to easily get through to you which was Tom.
"I just—I need to think. I-I need to be alone," you muttered under your breath. Although reluctant, Tom nodded, figured that if that was what you wanted, then he will give it to you.
"Okay," he sighed, placing a tender kiss on your forehead, the warmth of his lips on your skin making you close your eyes with a shaky breath. It was a sweet, rather mundane kiss, but it was one that lasted a few seconds longer than normal before he lets you go. Tom's grip around you slowly loosened, your heart growing heavier as you feel his touch gradually disappear.
You quickly turned on your heel with your head down, arms wrapped around your body to stop you from crumbling to the floor. Tom hesitantly stood still in his place, a certain feeling in his gut growing as he watched you walk towards the bathroom. As you were about to shut the door, his voice stopped you.
"Y/N?" he called out.
You turned around with a hum, meeting those brown orbs you've grown to adore with every inch of you. So many emotions were swimming in them, but only one struck you the most, even more so when he opened those lips to let it out into the air, loud, clear and sincere.
"I love you."
You gave him a small smile, trying your best to suppress your sobs as more tears ran down your cheek. And softly, you said,
"I love you too Tom, so much."
There was something about the way your voice trembled that made Tom feel even more uneasy, but he decided to let it go, thought that it was just him stressing over nothing at all.
The bathroom door slamming shut was what he heard next, a frustrated hand running through his hair as he stared at the white painted wood for a whole minute. With a sharp exhale of breath, Tom looked at it for a few seconds more.
Once he heard the running water on the sink, he made his way out of your shared bedroom, body slumped with deep frown still intact. His demeanor was quick to catch the attention of his brother who was sitting on the living room couch, the only other person in the house as of the moment.
"Is she okay?"
Tom could only flash Harry a sad, forced smile, not speaking any words as he went straight to the kitchen to get you some water and a bit of food. You haven't eaten anything yet and it was worrying him even more.
It wasn't long until Tom was back in the bedroom, setting the glass of water and the plate of your favorite sandwich on the nightstand.
The silence that filled the room was uncanny, nervousness coating the lad slowly as he stood completely still. Tom's eyes landed on the closed door of the bathroom, a lump forming in his throat as he found the negative thoughts that grew in his mind harder to ignore.
He took long strides towards the door, pressing an ear on the surface as he tried to listen to something, hoping to hear anything. Tom felt his heart quicken its pace as the silence screamed in his ear, brain quick to jump into horrible, dreadful conclusions.
"Darling? Are you okay in there?" he called, fingers twitching as his eyes landed on the metal knob.
No response...
"Darling?" Tom tried again, voice even louder, fear growing stronger as he grabbed the doorknob, chills running down his spine once the cold surface touched his skin.
Silence...
"Y/N, if you're not going to answer I'm kicking this fucking door down," Tom growled frantically, grip on the doorknob tightening as he tried to shake it open.
Nothing...
With an anxious breath, Tom walked away until he reached a safe distance, lifting a leg up and with all his might, kicked the door just by the keyhole, the wood snapping in its place as it swung open.
Tom ran inside but immediately froze, blood drained out of his whole body at the sight of you, heart coming to a halt for a full second as he shook his head in utter fear.
"No, no, no," he rushed, scrambling towards your limp, unconscious form on the white tiled floor, the bottle of painkillers right beside you, so close to empty. Tom was breathing rapidly as he pulled you onto his lap, vision turning blurry as he cleared the hair away from your face.
"Y/N! Wake up love, p-please wake up," Tom stammered, fingers shaking as he brought it up to your neck to the side of your windpipe, urgently feeling for your heartbeat. Cold sweats coated his entire body once he felt a faint one. It was there, but barely.
"No, don't—p-please don't leave me!" he cried out, head pounding as he shifted in his place, adrenaline at an all-time high as he hoisted you up in his arms. "Harry! Harry please!" Tom screamed after his brother as he rushed outside the bathroom and into the hallway, the lad in question rushing towards his brother's voice with sheer worry on his freckled face.
"What—"
"Start the car! Her breathing is getting slower," Tom choked on his words. The twin didn't waste any time as he bolted towards the kitchen island to grab the keys and went straight to the front door, held it open until Tom was out with you, alarmingly unmoving in his hold.
Once the car door was slammed shut with you and Tom in the backseat, Harry veered right out of the driveway and drove fast like your life depended on it, because it did.
Tom kept you close to his heaving chest, mumbling sweet but desperate nothings against your hair, silently praying as he tried his best to contain his shock.
The slower your heart beats, the faster Tom's heart raced, your body cold to the touch, his head spinning at the dreadful feeling. Tom felt so helpless just staring at your expressionless features, his clammy palms resting on your cheek as he kept talking to you.
"Hold on, I still want you angel, please hold on," he whispered over and over, hoping that you were able to hear him, hoping that the sound of his voice will stop you from fading into the light.
He was glad that the drive to the hospital was only five minutes away, but with you lying still, turning colder by the second in his arms, time seemed to go slower, agonizingly slower. There was no doubt that it was the longest, most painful five minutes Tom has ever endured in his life.
***
The bright hospital lights were blinding the moment Tom rushed inside with you in his arms, his voice hoarse as he screamed for help until the nurses came to your aid. They took you away on the table, your whole body lying motionless as they checked for your pulse. He didn't want to let you go, didn't want to let you out of his sight in fear that it would be the last time he'll see you with a bit of life left. But despite his protests, he was met by double doors slamming closed on his face.
Both of Tom's hands tugged at his hair in pure agitation, bottom lip caught between his teeth to try and suppress his sobs. He was pacing anxiously as his eyes kept steady on the door of the room where you disappeared into, lungs struggling to provide oxygen, unable to keep up with his raging heart.
He felt a hand grabbed at his shoulder, unable to see the person as they immediately pulled him in for a tight hug. But he didn't need to, he knew who it was, he knew what his brother's embrace felt like. Tom's whole body shook in Harry's hold as loud and broken sobs came out of him, arms wrapping around his brother for mere support, knowing that his legs are about to give out any second.
"I d-don't want to lose her, I can't lose her H-Harry, I—" Tom felt his throat start to close up, his grip around his younger brother turning vice-like as he gasped for air.
"Hey, hey Tom, breathe," Harry rushed, grabbing Tom's shoulders, pulling him away and holding him in arm's length. "You're alright, just breathe."
Tom shut his eyes tight and tried to regain his breathing, calming himself as best as he could. A whimper came out of him as he shook his head slowly, opening his eyes to meet Harry's with nothing but utmost fear and pain swimming in them.
"I c-can't imagine a world without her, I can't—"
"Then don't. You're not losing her Tom. She's going to be fine. She's a very strong girl. You, out of all people, know that," Harry reassured, giving his shoulder a squeeze for good measure.
"Fuck, this is all my fault. I shouldn't have left her alone. I knew something wasn't right before she even—I should've tried harder," Tom sobbed as he ran his shaking fingers through his hair, bottom lip quivering as he casted his eyes on the floor in shame.
"Tom you did the best that you could. No one could've seen this coming. Y/N wouldn't want you blaming yourself. You know it hurts her when you blame yourself," Harry said softly, rubbing his back comforting as he shot him a knowing look.
Tom rubbed the nape of his neck as he nodded with deep, strangled breaths. He pressed his lips into a tight line as he didn't say another word because Harry was right. You always get even more upset when you see him blame himself for something out of his control.
"You just sit here and wait alright? I'm going to get you some water."
He only shot Harry a small but thankful smile, the younger lad giving him one last hug before he disappeared down the opposite side of the hallway.
Tom cleared his mind and thought of nothing but you being safe. You are going to be safe, alive and well, because he wouldn't know what to do with himself if you weren't.
***
It was an hour and half later until the doctor came out. Tom scrambled on his feet as she asked about who was there for you. His nails were digging into his palms, creating crescent shapes on the skin as he held his breath, dreadfully waiting for her to speak.
"We've managed to pump all the drugs out of her system. She's stable now but still unconscious," the doctor said. Tom lets out a big puff of breath, his whole body relaxing as he felt the weight of the universe lift off his shoulders. Tom grabbed onto Harry for support once he almost lost his balance, just feeling relieved to hear that you were fine, still breathing.
"Is she going to be okay?" Harry asked when Tom can't seem to form any words, the older brother squeezing his shoulder as a way to silently say thank you.
The doctor nodded with a small smile. "We still need to keep a close eye on her until she makes a full recovery. There are still a few dangers that can occur given that she's consumed quite a handful."
Tom stood straighter as he cleared his throat, "Can I see her?"
"Right this way."
***
The sound of the soft beeps of the heart rate monitor oddly felt comforting to Tom as he entered the room. It was a mixture of relief but also hurt the moment his eyes landed on your sleeping form, hooked up to all these wires and tubes as you lay peacefully on the white bed.
He would've just stood still on his place, just staring with a deep from if Harry hadn't given him an encouraging tap on back. Tom flashed him a small smile before Harry closed the door, giving Tom some time alone with you for as long as he needed.
Slowly, he made his way over to your side, pulling up a chair beside the bed and letting out a shaky breath once he sat down. It was when he reached over to hold your hand did Tom start to bawl his eyes out, body shaking with full on sobs as he lifted your nimble fingers and pressed it on his damp, flushed cheek.
"You're okay. You're going to be okay love," he whimpered, not sure if he was saying those words to reassure you or himself. He turned his head to place a warm, tender kiss on your palm before he cupped your hand with both of his, his thumb sweetly stroking the back of it.
"It may sound selfish but you know I can't just let you go. I'm not that strong. Not as strong as you," Tom paused, giving your hand a squeeze, just waiting patiently for you to return it. "So, come on, darling, come back to me," Tom begged, a choked sob following after as his teardrops soaked the white sheets.
"I still need you. I will always need you," he continued, voice merely above a whisper as he tried his best to keep his breathing steady. "You're going to wake up and tell me to take you home, yeah?"
"We're going home," Tom breathed out with a small nod. "You're going to come back to me, and we're going home." Tom's voice broke at the end of his sentence, his head dropping low as he screwed his eyes shut, an overwhelming feeling rising in him that he couldn't stop the tears from falling continuously.
Tom just wants you to be back in his arms, wants you safe and warm in the comfort of your shared bed. He just wants to hear your hearty laugh echo in the kitchen as you make breakfast together. He wants to hear your scolding whenever he leaves dirty clothes on the floor, or the little arguments on whose turn it was to load the dishwasher.
Tom just wants to take you home.
Then once you do, once you come back home, he will take your hand and make things right, help make things better. And with all that he is, all that he has, with every beat of his heart, Tom will swear to love you all his life.
"Come home to me Y/N."
It was then Tom felt it, the light squeeze around his hand, his head shooting up as he looked at you expectantly. It was completely unmatched, the utter joy and relief that coated every inch of his bones. The sound was music to his ears, happiness filling him up to the brim once he heard your sweet, lovely voice.
"Tom?"
~~~
“Place your hand over your heart, can you feel it? That is called purpose. You’re alive for a reason so don’t ever give up.” – Unknown
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notfckincool · 4 years ago
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DIRTY GIRL
CHAPTER 9 - GOOD CLEAN FUN
NEGAN X ANA (OC)
Ana embarks on a casual, and obviously filthy affair with Negan, accidentally falling for the man, knowing he will never love her. Angst and kinkyfuckery.
WARNINGS: It's Negan so expect swearing, violence, sexual content throughout. I'll add warnings as it progresses. 
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Chapter 9 -
NEGAN X ANA(OC)
SUMMARY: Negan and Ana return to the Sanctuary horny af after an evening of slaying rebellious community members
Leading me by the hand he strides towards his room, thrusts open the door and pulls me in, capturing me in a tight grip around my waist. I stumble into him, blood smeared hands steadying myself against his broad chest. Fingers toying with the zipper of his leather jacket, my eyes are drawn upwards, resting on his lips. The lips he won't allow me to kiss. I stare at them longingly.
Kiss me.
It's all I can think about. I can almost taste him, the tip of my tongue instinctively wetting my lips, edging closer to him. He knows. He always knows. He watches my mouth with a smug smirk.
"Come on Princess, let's get you out of those clothes" 
He pulls back grinning, scoops me up, and kicks the door shut.
Denied. Again. Godammit.
Carrying me across the pristine room towards the en suite, a thought occurs. I'd not been back in here since he'd asked me to be a wife….The only time he'd ever kissed me. Fuck! Why does my mind keep wandering back to that?... Wait...What if he asks again? That's a no no. We had a good thing going here. I liked the arrangement.
Please, don't ask me to be your wife....but….then you'll kiss me... No...Ana.. Stop. Would it be so bad though? Yes. Shut the fuck up and enjoy the moment. 
Nuzzling into his neck I inhale the intoxicating scent of his skin, mingling with leather and the metallic scent of blood. It does things to me, ignites a spark. I nibble and nip his blood stained neck and jaw. Kisses edge closer and closer towards his mouth. I want to feel his lips crashing against mine.
Fucking kiss me
"Easy princess. Slow down��.we got all night" he taunts
Abruptly he tilts his head away. Self control. I don't have any. Not where he's concerned anyway. He draws me in then holds me back, slows me down, teases me, makes me wait. It drives me fucking wild. Attempting to put me down I grip tighter, dive back hungrily into the crook of his neck.
"I can't help it" I plead, my voice low in his ear. "I want you, look what you do to me" 
My fingers weave into his hair, twisting, pulling, my teeth tug at his earlobe. He emits a primal growl that sends the heat pulsing through me. Animalistic need kicks in, instinctively rolling my hips into him. I need to feel him against me, on me, in me. 
He falters, his hands fisting the shoulders of my jacket, ripping it from my body. Palms rub against my lower back, pushing up my shirt, pulling it roughly over my head. Fingers explore across the back of my neck, move firmly to my throat, grip my chin and jaw in large hands. Eyes darkened, intimidating and dangerous, hold me in an intense gaze. He scares me... but I'm not afraid
Kiss me... For fucks sake, kiss me.
He inhales deeply, regaining some composure. Loosening his grip and lowering me down he reaches to switch on the shower.
 "Take off the pants princess" he commands as he shrugs off his jacket.
He watches as I strip off the jeans, eyes locked on mine as he unbuckles his belt, peels off his shirt and beckons me over with a finger. His jeans unfastened and hanging loose on his hips, blood splatter across his face, I'm powerless, gravitating towards him like a moth to a very hot flame. 
He pulls me in, fingers expertly unclasping and discarding the bra. Finally, skin on skin. My head on his chest, breathing him in, running bloody fingers through hair, and over the tight toned muscle underneath. Need and desire rippling through me. Arousal soaking the panties pressed against him. My hands lower to his stomach, frantically pulling at jeans, releasing him from boxers dropped to the floor and kicked away. His strong hands reach inside the delicate panties ripping them, casting the shreds aside. 
Without warning I'm backed into the shower by his massive naked form. Cold tiles pressed against my skin, steaming hot water cascading down. My breath now coming fast and hard. His arms are either side of me, encasing me, looking down at me with devilish intent, like the darkness goes much deeper, like the only thing he's really afraid of is himself. It sends a shudder vibrating through me, awakening and heightening my senses. 
Kiss me. I want to be yours. I'm not afraid of your darkness, don't want you to hold back. I want all of you. Lose control. Own me. Take me. Hurt me. Fuck me…. Lose yourself in me.
"I want all of you...
My skin tingles and prickles in anticipation
"...I want to be yours"
His eyes are still burning into me as he lifts a leg onto his hip
"You ARE mine, princess"
Pleasure pulsing to my core as he teases my clit with the tip of his throbbing cock
"Own me... I don't want you to hold back."
Runs his cock up and down my cunt wetting himself in my arousal.
"You sure about that, princess?"
 Leaning in, his lips hover deliciously close to my mine.
"Kiss me"
He brushes my lips then pulls away as he lines himself up, teasing my entrance.
"Use me. Hurt me. Fuck me"
"Oh, I intend to princess.."
Thrusts into me slamming me against the wall. No time to adjust he fills me, knocking the breath from me, holding me there. As he picks up my other leg, his face twists into a smirk.
"...All fucking night"
Pinned against the wall he fucks me.. hard. Raw desire, teeth grazing at skin, biting, marking, nails feverishly clawing at his back. I give myself completely to him.
"Don't stop"
Faster, harder. Bracing myself against the walls.
"Don't fucking stop"
Endless pounding friction. The spark becomes a flame, burning deep in my stomach, emanating, rushing up my spine, making me convulse.
"That's right princess. Cum for me"
Heat builds rapidly up into my head, I hear my own moans as my eyes roll back, and it washes over me
"Good girl"
His voice muffled in the distance as my head swims and I squeeze and contract around him. I want him to his self control, lose himself in me.
" Let go"
"Fuck, fuck, ahh, fuck" 
He groans and slows, the final powerful thrusts as he sinks his teeth into my neck. He holds me, both shuddering at the release, until, panting and spent the tension leaves our bodies and we sink into each other. Kissing tenderly at the marks on my neck he works his way to my jaw then pulls back to look at me. 
@chloejanedecker1 @negan-love @nayghtynegan @bychrissi
"You are mine now, to do with as I please. I don't have to leave until the day after tomorrow and when I'm finished with you, you won't be able to walk. I'm going to make sure you still feel me while I'm gone."
MASTERLIST IN BIO
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aquaticalay · 5 years ago
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Centurion .Chapter Two.
Bucky Barnes x Reader
Sequel to For Something Greater
Summary: (Y/n) is an active duty Navy SEAL Commander, the first and only woman to ever become a SEAL. After successfully stopping a genocide with the help of the Avengers, she becomes a bridge between the military and the earth's mightiest heroes. But even as her relationship with Bucky grows, she decides not to tell him about the nightmares and trauma that haunt her. Both their secrets begin to unravel when Bucky accidentally stumbles upon a piece of dangerous information about (Y/n) that she doesn't know about herself— something she must never find out about.
Genre: Action, Drama, Romance
Warning/s for the series: cursing, violence, death, eventual smut, PTSD.
Warning/s for the chapter: mentions of anxiety symptoms and death.
Word count: 2.4k
Note: The plot is heavily inspired by the song 'in the dark' by Bring Me The Horizon, and 'Mercy' by Muse. So yeah, go listen to it if you want to :)))  I'll post a new chapter every two days.
THIS IS A SEQUEL TO FOR SOMETHING GREATER,' SO IF YOU HAVEN'T READ THAT, THE LINK TO THE MASTERLIST IS IN MY BIO.
Let me know if you want to be in the taglist!
(Taglist will be reblogged)
TRIGGER WARNING! THIS SERIES REVOLVES AROUND POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER. (Including, but not limited to: anxiety/panic attacks, extreme mood swings , nightmares, intrusive thoughts, insomnia, irritability, hypervigilance, and hyperarousal)
Gif is from 'in the dark' mv by Bring Me The Horizon
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You arrived in SEAL team 6 Headquarters in Seattle an hour early. You decided to use your precious time to change into a set of military issued clothes: A green shirt and cargo pants. Very practical.
You entered the briefing room fifteen minutes early. Everyone else was already seated around the mahogany table; Diego Miller, Logan McCoy, Collin Harris, and Nolan Woods. 
They greeted you with a salute, standing up from their seats. You returned the gesture, a habit you've picked up after a million times of doing it. “At ease,” you said assertively, and they sat back down. You heard a clank hit the ground. Suddenly, you tensed. You had to remind yourself it was just Miller's prosthetic leg to calm yourself down. To remind yourself that this room is secure, that there is no threat here.
 You took your usual seat, between Harris and McCoy. 
“How’s Mia?” you ask Harris. 
Mia was his feisty five-year old daughter. When he adopted her, heappointed you her godmother.
Mia was sweet and strong, learning and following her father’s example quickly. She also got quite attached to you fairly fast. The last time you met her was a month ago, right before your peacekeeping mission. You went to their place to give Harris a ride to SEAL team 6 headquarters. Before you knew it, she was running into your arms excitedly, “Auntie (Y/n)!” She exclaimed, scrambling up for you to carry her. “Hello, Mia,” you greeted, pushing her curly black hair to you could see her adorable face clearly. She had a button nose, one of her most striking features. Her skin was dark, the color of a pine cone, and her eyes were almost pitch black. You were sure she will grow up to be a strong and beautiful young woman. “Where’s Uncle Bucky?” She tilted her head.
Mia was infatuated with Bucky. At first, He didn’t know what to make of the child. He didn’t have experience with kids, and he was scared of hurting her. It wasn’t long before he eased into interactions with Mia, letting her stick fridge magnets on his metal arm, spelling out random words on it like 'cake' or 'kandy.'
“She’s asking for you,” Harris answered with a grin, “she misses her Aunt (Y/n) and Uncle Bucky.”
You chuckle at the thought of her looking for you, and Harris making some silly, probably magical, excuse to avoid disappointing her. 
“How’s Barnes? And the rest of the Avengers?”
You shrugged. “Bucky is fine,” you said shortly, “And Sam and Wanda are doing fine, too. Didn’t meet anyone else, though.”
When Harris met you, he was a wide-eyed 17-year old boy aspiring to be the best sailor he can possibly be. He has known you long enough to read emotions through your voice. He could tell you wanted more time to rest, to spend time with the person you love. You needed a break, both mentally and physically. It was so obvious  a blund man could see.
“This mission won’t be long,” he reassured, somewhat trying to comfort you in ways that he can. You nodded, hoping that he is right.
Before you knew it, a Special Operations Command Officer walked in the room to brief you for the mission. You recognize her almost immediately. Her quirky smile was unmistakable.
Naomi Tanaka. She was an old friend who trained alongside you in Navy bootcamp, one of the only people who believed you could become a SEAL. One of the only people who had faith. One of the reasons you took the risk. It paid off, didn't it?
You hadn’t seen her for a long time, since she just finished recovering from her gender reassignment surgery. 
You gave her a knowing nod, a greeting. She acknowledged it with a smile, mouth drawn from ear to ear; it was sincere.
The briefing went well. Tanaka explained the mission pretty clearly. She told you that there was an abandoned Hydra genetics lab in an old Soviett Union military base in Ukraine, and your job was to bring back intel and information, as well as making sure it was really abandoned. 
“Wheels up in an hour,” Tanaka ordered. 
When she dismissed the team, your squadron scrambled out into the locker room to prepare themselves. One hour wasn’t a lot of time, but it has to be enough.
You trailed slower behind to talk to Tanaka. You wanted to exchange a few words with your old friend.
You hugged her enthusiastically. “How are you?” You asked.
She let a joyous smile take over her expression. “Never felt better. It’s good to be back.” Sighing, she squeezed your arm, “We really need to catch up some time.”
You agreed, but right now, you need to prepare for the mission.
-
The flight to Ukraine was smooth. No turbulence, and you arrived in the cover of night. 
You landed in a valley near the Eastern Carpathian mountain range, just a few miles away from the abandoned Hydra base. Though no assault was expected, you asked the team to be alert and to check and recheck their ammunitions for the third time, for good measure.
You ordered Woods to scout ahead, and he tells you through the comms that there is no danger. There is nothing to worry about.
“Are you sure?” You asked, supersoldier-enhanced adrenaline pumping through your veins.
“A hundred percent,” you hear Woods say reassuringly through the earpiece. You had a doubt, but if your years of experience taught you anything, it’s that doubts are the main reason of failure.
You signal the rest of your team into formation, nearing the underground bunker with your weapons alert. You lowered your night vision goggles. Other followed your example, doing the same.
“McCoy, Miller,” you called, “Stand guard outside. Watch out for threats.”
The two of them looked at you like your insane. It was unusual for you to ask two of them to stand guard. It wasn't efficient. It seemed like you were wasting men on generally unimportant jobs. Besides, protocol did suggest not having more people on look out than necessary, and in this case  one was more than enough.
“Only one of us should be on the lookout,” Miller suggested, hoisting his gun up.
“No!” you bark aggressively, catching everyone in your team by surprise, “Two of you out, now!”
For a split second, all activities stop, and everything is silent except for your pounding heartbeat. You try to breathe, but your breath comes out raspy and dangerously fast. 
You were never frivolous. You were always calm and collected, as you were trained to be. But this time, it seemed like you had pulled a pin inside of you that triggered an explosion.
And frankly, having you exclaim something so out of character, so unexpected, was terrifying.
“Commander,” Miller said cautiously, “Are you okay?”
“M’ fine,” you insist, averting your eyes from any staring gaze, “Just be on the lookout, two of you.”
If McCoy and Miller want to question your authority, they decided not to. They complied to your order without question.
You lead Harris and Woods into the bunker. 
The only way inside was by a set of stairs. The walk down was terrifyingly agonizing. The icy footsteps were starting to drive you insane. Thankfully, you don't have to hear more when you got to the bottom.
“Split up,” you say, and this time, no one says anything.
You found yourself moving forward the small bunker, Harris and Woods going their own ways on either side of you. 
Tanaka was right. The place was almost empty except for a few empty tubes on the dusty metal shelves. The stainless steel showed signs of breaking down, you could clearly smell the rust.
The floors were dirty. What used to be white ceramic looks gray now. It was filthy, and you were grateful your uniform provided the coverage from whatever disease might be lingering here.
It was clear that no one has stepped foot in it for at least a decade.
“Find anything?” You ask. 
"No,” Harris reported back. “Me neither,” Woods said.
Nearing the end of the bunker, something finally caught your eye.
It looked icy. You adjusted your night vision.
Squinting and carefully coming closer, you realized that it wasn’t ice. It’s water contained in a long transparent tank.
As you got closer, you heart dropped. The tank was filled with water the shade of translucent milk. 
A female human being was floating inside. Her hazel eyes were wide open but unmoving, her skin was as pearl-white as her platinum blonde hair. A thin cloth covered her otherwise naked body. A silver tube on the bottom of the tank frame traced to a non-functioning life support system. You weren’t sure if she’s dead or alive. She’s neither floating nor rotting, but you can’t imagine her being able to survive with these extreme conditions, especially if the bunker has been abandoned for as long as it seemed to be. 
One other thing that seemed to disturb you is how eerily familiar this condition was. You could imagine vividly what it felt to be her. You shake off the thoughts. You need to focus.
You placed your hand on a corner of the tank and wiped the dust. There were words engraved into the thick glass: PROJECT MERCY #21
“I-“ you start to say, trailing the pad of your fingers on the marble-smooth glass, “I found something. Get this back to base.”
-
The flight back was uncomfortable filled with numbing silence. It went hand-in-hand with a few worried stares they gave you.
They knew something was unspoken; something that caused your outburst. But they didn’t ask. Perhaps they were too afraid to ask.
When you gave the covered tank to the base, you waited patiently in front of forensics.
Usually, you’d wind down in the locker room with your squadron, but today it just didn’t feel like you want to. You were too restless to do so. 
You were starting to think avoidance was your coping mechanism for the guilt you felt after that outburst.
It didn’t take too long for forensic to determine that the woman was dead, but that was pretty much the only information they gave you. Everything else was supposedly confidential.
No, you thought to yourself, you need to know more about project Mercy. You don’t know why, but it was a gut feeling that you had, like an instinct planted in your mind by nature. 
Besides, it was a product of Hydra. You needed to know more.
You took out your phone and called the only person who could possibly have an answer, or at least is willing to help you find answers.
“Bucky?” You said through the line urgently. It must be in the middle of the night in New York. He didn’t sound too tired, though.
“(Y/n),” your name escapes his lips like a sigh, breathing with relief. Little did you know, he hadn’t been able to rest before knowing that you’re okay.
“I- Do you know anything about Project Mercy?” You said quietly, trying to make sure no one could hear this conversation.
You were aware that this was illegal. You weren't exactly allowed to share what you find in your operations to the avengers. At least not until they agree to the council.
“Project what?” Bucky asked, his voice sharp.
“Project Mercy,” you repeated,”It has something to do with Hydra.”
The line went silent for a while. You called out his name worriedly.
“It’s a covert biological engineering project Hydra has in collaboration with the KGB,” He says flatly, “I don’t know much about it. All I know is this that none of the subjects came out successful.”
You cursed under your breath. There must be something more to it than that. "Can you please research old SHIELD records for it? We’ll review it together tomorrow night when I get there.”
You could sense Bucky’s hesitation. “This isn’t allowed, right?” He breathed through the phone, “I read the council files you gave Sam. We’re not supposed to exchange any information until the deal is done, right?”
He was right. The only problem is that you didn’t care. Not right now.
“I know,” you admit with a hint of guilt in your stern voice, “But I need to know. I need this, James. Please.”
Bucky never had the heart to say no to you, even if he wanted to. Certainly, this time is no different
“I’ll do what I can,” he promised. 
That was all you needed to hear.
-
Bucky immediately activated the hologram projector in his room. "Friday, lock the room," he said. He heard a confirmation from the AI, followed by a click.
"Dim the lights," he said.
As the blinding neon calms into a soft hue, he can now see the hologram clearer.
"Show me decrypted Hydra and SHIELD files," he requested the AI.
"The one Agent Romanoff dumped to the internet?" Friday asks, making sure to do all the right things.
"Yes," he confirms.
The blue semi-transparents hologram shows millions of files.
"Search for 'Project Mercy," he says again. The hologram changes, a few files left on the hologram.
"Project Mercy was a Hydra bioengineering project in the 1980s. It's goal is to make a fully functional supersoldier from artificial lab-grown cells. These cells were fertilized and grown in a tube that resembled a womb. After nine months, the subjects are ready to be "born." None of them successfully had supersoldier characteristics, and most of them are dead."
Buciy stopped in his tracks.
"Most of them?" He raised his voice, wondering if he heard Friday correctly.
"According to the data, the first and second subject of Project Mercy are given to Hydra agents to raise and observe. Both subjects are alive as of 2014, living normal lives."
Bucky narrowed his eyes. "Where are they now?" He demanded.
"Their records have been wiped out. All that's stated is that Mercy One is female and Mercy Two is male."
"Is there any way to recover the information?" Bucky asked.
Friday calculated, searching the possibilities, "There might be physical records of Mercy One and Two in old private lab of the Hydra scientist named Michail Petrov."
Suddenly, his eyes widened. He recognizes the name, and it sounded just as bitter as it used to, engraved into his half a century of memory. Bucky's human arm curled into a grudging fist.
Petrov, as he recalled, was once the Winter Soldier's handler.
~
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