#if you don't want people to interact with your stuff

[shaymincafe]

Ask Karma

Okay so since we're dispensing advice into the community for our newer members, I thought I'd throw my hat into the ring with an ask blog etiquette item that I think people have somewhat neglected recently: ask karma.

Ask karma is the practice of sending asks back to people who have sent you one. When someone sends you an ask, it is generally expected that you will send one back in return. It is to your mutual benefit to do this since now not only do both of you have asks in your inbox to work with, but it also exposes your blogs to each others' followers and can potentially gain you new readers.

Ask Calls are a Two-Way Street

Generally speaking, when someone makes an ask call, you should view it as a quid pro quo situation. Unless the person explicitly states in the post otherwise, they usually wants asks back in return for the ones they're sending out. While this is not always the case, like with me where I have way too many asks already and don't need more, more often than not, this is the expectation and it's bad form to not do so.

It's the equivalent of borrowing someone's pencil in school and never giving it back. At the end of the day, it's not super consequential, but the person whose pencil you just took isn't going to be super happy that they gave that to you and got nothing in return. You feel me?

This is especially true for written blogs, who I have noticed tend to get hit by this the most. Written blogs can get through their posts a lot faster than most art blogs and therefore need asks more often. But they also tend to get a lot fewer asks!

I experienced it myself during the PokeAskMagi event where I sent out around 20 asks from @askthewhiterocket and got back 7 in total for the entire event. By comparison, Shaymin Cafe also sent out around 20 asks and got approximately 12 in return. Not a lot more but it's still a better ROI especially consider Shaymin Cafe was the far less active of the two blogs during the event.

Everyone who sent an ask to Ask the White Rocket also sent one to Shaymin Cafe, despite the majority of the blogs I interacted with getting asks from BOTH of my blogs. In addition, during my final ask call for Ask the White Rocket, I got 1 ask in return for like 5 sent out, even after explicitly stating that the inbox was empty and I wanted asks.

I realize Shaymin Cafe is a popular blog and since I had two blogs, people probably ended up just sending an ask to the more popular blog of the two since Shaymes is a fun character and such. But the same thing happened last year when Shaymes wasn't even an active character and I was really only answering asks from Kyo's blog. To be quite frank, that's unfair to the written blogs, and unfair to me too.

It takes time to send asks. Ask hints make it easier, sure, but not everyone has them. Additionally, not all ask hints are incredibly straight forward. Some require you to read a bit in the blog's backlog if you aren't familiar with it to craft an ask that a person can work with (this is why I tend to link stuff with my ask hints). Some people might also want to double check the rules of a blog first or read up on the characters to ensure they're not sending a human character to a blog that doesn't allow them, or a Gengar to a character with trauma from ghost-types without expressed permission from the creator first. This goes doubly so when you're sending asks out from multiple blogs, like I was during the event.

That effort should not go unrewarded, so the least you can do is send an ask in return! It's just good manners.

This also goes for Munday asks

Admittedly, I am pretty bad about this myself, so we're going a little pot calling kettle black, BUT it's generally good form to also send Munday asks back to people who send them to you. Now if they're not open to Munday asks or w/e then no sweat it's fine, but let's be real, we all like to yap. We all like to talk about our characters. We all enjoy answering Munday asks, so spread the love and send asks back to people who send them to you.

Part of the reason I don't really make the effort to send out Munday asks much anymore and part of why I don't open for Munday as frequently either is candidly I got very tired of sending out like a dozen Munday asks to everyone I saw open for Mundays and then getting like... 2 in return. There were a couple weeks back in like July-August were I quite literally got 0 Munday asks, and it was incredibly disheartening. Like, don't get me wrong, I enjoyed coming up with questions for other people, but it was also a total downer to sit there the entire day waiting for asks to come in and then never getting any. Not even one asking how my day was or how my weekend went. Total and complete silence.

And sure, thinking of questions is hard, I get it! You wanna know my secret? When I was sending out Munday asks regularly, I googled first date questions or improv icebreakers. There's so many great questions to ask people from those. Sure, they can be be incredibly shallow and I'm sure any veteran ask blogger whose been at this a while has probably asked and answered whether they like coffee or tea better. But I'd rather answer that ask for like the fourth time than get nothing because then I'd at least get the opportunity to talk about my thoughts on both for a minute.

This also goes quadrupley so for the memes. There are times where I see people reblogging memes and going the whole day without any interaction because they're a smaller blog. And I'll admit, I straight up have sometimes gone on anon and sent them like three asks back to back because I didn't want them to feel like no one cared about them or their characters. They deserve to get a bunch of asks too, that's part of the fun!

And I think with memes the not sending asks in return is far less excusable because usually there's emojis or numbers that you can literally just copy and paste into the ask box. I cannot tell you how many times I saw blogs I'd never met before reblogging a meme post and it took me all of five minutes to go pick a random emoji and a name from their cast page and drop that into their inbox. It is quite literally that easy.

You should also, generally speaking, send an ask to the person you got the meme from too. Whether they were the one who created it or simply just brought it into popularity, sending them an ask for the meme is a nice way to say thank you for letting you use it too. It took time and effort to create and/or find that meme, and I guarantee you they did not do it simply because they wanted other people to use it on their own blogs. They did it so THEY could answer asks from it on their OWN blog. So give them the opportunity to!

FAQ

The blog I want to send an ask to has (insert species of character) and my blog doesn't interact with that (or vice versa).

That's fine! You don't have to send an ask in character if you don't want to. Sure that's the norm, but if the casts of your blogs are incompatible for some reason, then by all means just don't send an in character ask.

The blog I want to send an ask to doesn't have readily available/up to date asks hints.

You have a couple options here. You can read back through the blog to see what has recently happened to get a feel for what might be a good ask. If you're lucky maybe they'll have a taglist somewhere that'll make backtracking easy. But if not, skimming is fine too. Otherwise, just directly DM the blog and ask them what kind of ask they want. I've done this several times and that can be a great way to get a blog exactly what ask their looking for.

The blog I want to send a Munday ask to is doing a meme I don't want to engage with.

Send them a normal question then! I guarantee you they wouldn't be opposed to answering something opposed to the meme, and even if they don't respond, they'll at least know you tried to return their ask.

The blog that sent me an ask said in their ask call they don't want asks in return.

No need to send one back then! If they said they don't want any, then they aren't expecting any in return. I do this all the time! Sometimes we just like sending out asks for fun and that's a-okay!

The blog I want to send an ask to has closed their inbox.

That's okay! In this instance, it is perfectly reasonable to not send an ask in return. If they've closed their inbox, they're likely not expecting asks back. So you're totally in the clear to not send one in return. No need to go crawling through their submission box to send one in (people actually don't usually like this). Just maybe keep an eye out in the future for if their inbox reopens!

Unless they like explicitly made a post asking for asks within like the last day. In that case please tell them because they probably forgot to open it again (happens more often than you think).

The blog I want to send an ask to doesn't have an organization system making their story, characters, hints, and other materials used in ask crafting difficult to find.

In that case, the burden lies with that blog, not you. Organization is EXTREMELY important. Skins covers this a bit in their ask blog advice post. Having easily accessible tag lists, ask hints, and casts pages can really help with getting asks sent your way. In the same way it isn't fair to someone to not send asks in return, it's equally unfair to make someone scroll through a bunch of meme reblogs just find materials to send an ask with.

The best you can do in this situation is message the blog to ask them for what they want. But if the materials to craft the ask aren't readily available to you, that is on them not you.

In short, please exercise Ask Karma. If someone sends you an ask, please send one back! Thank you!

[crimeronan]

another thing i want the kids following me to know is: you guys have spent most of, if not Literally All Of, your adolescence in a COVID world. This Is Not Normal.

like fuck me. all the articles about it are thinkpieces about how hard it is to be a teacher right now because kids are SO all-over-the-place developmentally.... which i'm sure is true!

but most of what i've heard from other adults ABOUT you guys is just an annoyed, "these kids don't know how to behave these days, their parents just left them on the computer and never parented them, they don't know how to talk to people, so annoying"

which is like. come on, stacy. a little compassion?? can we Please get one fucking iota of compassion?? on this bitch of an earth??

you guys are dealing with all the typical traumas of adolescence (lack of autonomy, being legally property) after having dealt with ANOTHER Fucking Enormous Trauma during your developmental years (isolation), while trapped in classrooms with a million other kids all going through the same thing, and all of you are coping and adapting to this differently, AND a lot of you are ALSO dealing with the grief of having lost family/friends to sickness.

that is a fucking WILD cocktail of circumstances in which you're trying to learn & fill out college applications. and i'm assuming most school districts do NOT have enough decent guidance counselors to handle it. even putting aside potential trauma stemming from mandated reporting stuff.

the Vast Majority of the adults you interact with were NOT in school during COVID. we have no fucking clue what it's been like for you all. the solutions that worked for us in high school simply won't always be applicable anymore.

it's a bad time to be a high school student. if everything feels wrong to you right now, it's because This Is Not Normal.

[makeyoumine69]

Hello dear people in my beloved American Psycho fandom! I couldn't force myself to write this post because I didn't know how to do it, but I think now is the right time. I promised myself not to bring personal stuff into my writing, but since one thing affects another, I think I should finally speak up.

This year started pretty bad for me, I was suffering from a huge apathy and my mental health was probably in the worst state in the last few years. I had to cut ties with a lot of people and distance myself, and I'm really sorry for doing that, but I had no choice because I was literally dying from the inside. When I came back to Tumblr in 2022, I was absolutely alone and I had no friends, no followers and in some ways I felt calm and peaceful. I always thought and probably still think that I should be alone and isolated from everyone, like a soulless writing machine just producing fanfictions for people to consume. Maybe this is not a bad thing, because interacting with people always carries the risk of getting bruised?

Anyway, the thing that broke me completely was the news I received in the last days of January that I would be fired in February because my company decided to close the project I was working on due to the high inflation and bad economic situation in Russia. So now I have to find a job within February because I have a lot of financial responsobilities like paying for the medical treatment my family is getting. My grandmother was diagnosed with kidney cancer and her surgery was paid for by me and my fiancé, but the medicine costs a lot, so… after I told my mom about my news, she blamed me for everything. I was not really surprised though, considering that I have been having fights with my whole family for the past few months over different topics, but mostly they hate me for my political opinions. Whenever I say that I am tired of the war, sanctions and all the other stuff that 2022 has brought, they call me a fucking traitor. My family is ready to cancel me just because I told them I was tired of living in isolation, that I had even forgotten what my life was like before the war. My fiancé is literally the only person in my family who supports me, and even though I'm going to lose my job, he told me he would do anything for me, for us, but I don't want to be a burden. I'm really scared about the future, I think I really am now.

So, I'm sorry for not finishing the Christmas fics I promised to post, I'll try to finish them soon. Also, I'm sorry for not being active with fulfilling the requests and replying to your asks. I'm really sorry. And I know some of you might think that why I keep writing new series and working on different stuff while I have WIPs I need to finish—I'm just trying to follow my muse and I can say that it's really unstable these days, but I'm really trying to do my best and deliver something good for all of you!

I also want to thank all of you who have supported me with your donations! It means the world to me! Unfortunately, my account on the platform I was using for donations has been suspended because of… DOLLARS! They think I'm a scammer or something because the dollar is such a cursed currency in Russia right now, so I don't know if they'll unban my account, I hope they will.

Okay, that was longer than I thought it would be. To end this crazy rant, I just want to thank you guys for sticking with me no matter how fucked up I might be! I believe that one day I will find my way back to myself so that I can come back strong and refreshed!

[rosesforwildwitches]

Honestly on most non-fascist* parts of the internet, preemptively blocking is way more effective. You stop seeing the person, they can't interact with you without going out of their way specifically to antagonize you individually (and if you block them first they don't even know you exist to seek you out), and you get less and less of that specific variety of posts and individuals in your purview because you can usually either block a bunch of reactionary assholes all in one swoop or you catch them in reblogs showing they're reblogging something you blocked, because a lot of reactionary assholes of all stripes repost and talk amongst themselves in isolated online circles and once you run into one person you really can't stand, that usually leads you to two dozen more people who you want to block all at once.

*This statement must, of course, leave out anything owned by Meta, which is so heavily funded by the alt right that all their platforms push stuff onto you no matter what you want, and anything with Musk's involvement, as he broke the block functions on Twitter because it hurt his overblown ego.

nothing against anyone who uses them but i've never found DNIs to really work and it makes intuitive sense why. if you tell someone you DO NOT want them to talk to you, they're likely going to use the relatively consequence-free internet to do something to antagonize you. meanwhile i've found a much better repellant for undesired populations is to just vocally be yourself and make your presence as well as values known. not in a preach-y way but like in a "of course i'm not welcoming to chuds, i am always talking about things they hate" way

[weirdcatlive]

So, since making my Lonliness video I've (understandably) had a lot of "hey come hang out with me" requests and I just wanna set the record straight that 99% of the time I have to pass on these

Thing is, if you have any sort of platform you're always gonna get strangers reaching out to you and unfortunately a large portion of em do not have honest intentions. Additionally when someone's a fan yet a stranger to me, there's a power dynamic there regardless of how much you believe you would treat me the same as everyone else

I know I might be missing out on interactions with a lot of cool people right after "complaining" about loneliness in a video but imo it's really important to set those boundaries, for me being a friend of a friend or a fellow creator establishes a level of "trust" that's missing from strangers who watch my stuff (i know it might seem harsh to call you guys strangers but I do wanna stress that regardless of how much you know about me, if I don't know you you are a stranger)

Also, not implying OP is a minor (idk if they are or not) but I also wanna use this opportunity to make it clear that I will never seek out friendships with minors. That's a very important boundary to me in general but especially as a fan + creator is a whole nother level of yikes

Posting this at the risk of coming across hostile/being misinterpreted but I think it's an important discussion to have, I feel like a lot of people misunderstood my video a lil and specifically the reason why I can't accept random friend requests is something I would've expanded on more if I had had more time

Again I don't want this to come across the wrong way (I'm also just using OP's question as a way to address this topic as a whole rather than responding to them directly, hence why I kept em annonymous), but tbh it is a little alarming how many requests I've gotten specifically from minors & people sharing personal info with me and I really wanna encourage you to consider your own safety in these situations too, just like fans can be untrustworthy so can (unfortunately) creators too. While it's nice to wanna help & be friends you gotta keep yourself safe and keep potential power dynamics in mind if you're thinking about reaching out to creators on a personal level

[ghouljams]

Hey Ghoul, hope your doing well. I'm sending this in hope of some advice. You can totally ignore this if you're uncomfortable. I've gotten myself into a certain situation and I can't stop myself anymore. A few years ago I started exchanging flirty texts with this coworker/friend. We no longer work together but are still in touch, every few months we would grab dinner together (with another friend so we're never alone). The thing is he's married, and recently had his first kid. Our less than friendly interactions started when we were still working together, during his first year marriage they were having issues and he confided in me, and I was having alot of family issues and I leaned on him, and we became close. We never did anything physical, it was more like dirty jokes and occasional flirty comments back then.

Over the last few years it's escalated, I recognize he would text me whenever he was horny and always lead the conversation to suggestive texts. I never started it, but I never stop or discouraged it either.

The thing is (and it's no excuse) I'm in my 30s and I've never been in a relationship, never been the girl guys choose or wanted and am extremely lonely. I like the attention he gives me and I can't stop myself from replying or engaging with him. I want to stop, I don't want to be the other woman. I know he'll probably never leave his wife, certainly not for me.

This is probably the only male attention I've ever gotten in my life, and I know male validation isn't something I should strive for but having never received any it feels nice. It doesn't feel nice being a dirt secret.

I don't know. Thanks for reading if you got this far...I just don't know how to stop myself

Wow. This is a lot friend. I want to start by saying I think for your friend's wife's sake I think you should block him.

While you're not without blame in this situation, this man also sounds like absolute trash for letting this go on this long without stopping. He has a wife and child, and any good person would not be cheating on their partner like this. That said, you should show some compassion for not just the wife but yourself and get this man out of your life asap.

This validation and attention feels good in the moment because it's fleeting and you don't have to worry about any of the hard relationship stuff, you get the pay off of "you're hot" without any of the emotional stuff of a relationship, and as good as it feels in the short term it's not going to help you in the long run. Which you already know because you've said it doesn't feel nice being a dirty secret.

Now. It is a terrifically false statement that you have "never been the girl guys choose or want." It is an unkindness to yourself and a categorically untrue thing to say. You don't know how many people have seen you and wanted you or known you and never said anything about wanting you. And to wallow in self-pity and say "but I do, and that number is zero" is just stupid. It's stupid and it's unkind to the people that pined for you, it's also just-

like there's a measure of self-centeredness to self-loathing that I think makes people think they know other people and how they should think better than they actually do. You don't know how many people or who has loved you for 30 years, and unfortunately you probably never will, but to assume that number is zero is just statistically improbable.

I've been where you are, when you've never gotten what you think every other woman does it's intoxicating to get that male attention. You feel almost honored that you finally got cat called, that some guy is giving you attention through flirty texts, that people are liking your bikini photos, or your male friend from college is rekindling your friendship. Craving this sort of validation isn't great, but it's understandable. What I think is more important to realize is that these men don't respect you, or care for you, and are using you as a means to an end.

You should block him because you deserve better than being a dirty secret, and you should start trying to love yourself more. Just because you're not your type doesn't mean you're no one's type, and just because you've never dated doesn't mean no one has wanted to date you. Most people cannot identify when someone is flirting with them, but that doesn't mean people weren't trying.

Give yourself some credit, and this guy's wife some peace of mind.

[transseawizard]

🙶 may this sea wizard get a promo? 🙷

hello, land dwellers! my name is norma. i'm new to making graphics (my graphics might be a bit unpleasing, but i'm new and practicing!) i'm starting to have a special interest of making graphics. i go by xe/she/they.

my requests are open, if you want a short little blurb of stuff i do, look under the cut!

promo tags: @hrlyqueen, @lawslinger, @floraeth, @toletoles, @cutelvr, @llocket, @bydollita, @moemiji, @chokingonchairs.

dm to be removed! i did all of the rentry people i'm following that don't have homestuck in their blacklist for obvious reasons, but if you wanna help (even if you have homestuck in your blacklist) you can still reblog! reblogs are always appreciated.

❥ what i do:

rentry graphics, rentry templates, tumblr layouts, resource requests, icons/pfps, reply-icons, NPTs (though no fictional characters, only themes), stamps, moodboards, and stimboards.

❥ what i don't do:

mogai stuff, discord/twitter layouts, pixels, buttons.

♥︎ whitelist:

homestuck, scott Pilgrim, monster prom, dandy's world, roblox myths, rocky horror picture show, heathers, most roblox games, the walten files, shaye saint john, fnaf, scooby doo, steven universe, tdi, beetlejuice, aesthetics/themes/subcultures.

♥︎ blacklist:

dsmp/mcyt, helluva boss/hazbin hotel, countryhumans, pr0sh1p/c0msh1p.

if you wanna request, please read my pinned! this is just a surface view of what I have.

notes:

i love to talk to people and interact! but if i like your post, it's likely on my main account!

apologies if this doesn't look good, i've been doing this doing the layout and details for this blog whilst sick, i'm a perfectionist and im not 100% proud of this, but i'll improve slowly but surely!

breathes in and breathes out, hits post button

[littledesertfox]

Hello, I hope you're having a wonderful day! My name is Marlowe/Atari! I come to you to expose another neo-nazi in the community. His name is Paul, and his goes by @dertotalenkrieg on Tumblr.

Now, why am I saying this now? Well, I noticed that this user was in the same reichblr server as I was. As I was scrolling through the Neo-Nazi Community under the reichblr, I noticed that Paul posted there.

Content Warnings for Nazi Imagery and Holocaust Denial in the Screenshots

Before anyone says, "This wasn't supposed to be taken seriously/this is out of context." Counterpoint, the implication of the post's caption is that Paul had to obtain this from Telegram. It also implies that he has experience with the platform and its neo-nazi communities contained within.

And this isn't a one-note incident either. I looked through Joseph's likes and saw these posts.

Obviously there are more posts that aren't shown in the screenshots that are noteworthy. The only one I can remember is one that was about cutting a swastika on one's skin.

What initially set off alarm bells was this guy's Discord profile;

I immediately detected the dog whistles within this user's profile. The SS's, the extraterrestrial imagery referencing neo-nazi pseudoscience, and the quote are obvious signs that this person is serious about this.

I deliberated on doing this since I didn't want to be the bringer of bad news, and the fact that this could possibly be traced back to me. I'm hesitant on associating my blog with this community (even though I'm a part of it.) and getting called a Nazi (despite this entire ask pointing to the contrary). I know you guys don't like Nazis, and I'm not gonna call you bad people for having unconventional interests.

The obvious way of avoiding any nazis joining this community is looking for dog whistles, that's your best method of exiling them quicker from your community.

Also, if you're gonna refer to me in your post, my pronouns are they/them + co/cos.

Thank you for reading my ask!

Hi, first of all sorry it took me a bit to respond, I had some busy things going on in real life.

Secondly ew, that's fucking nasty. I wasn't aware that this community existed (I never really looked much into the communities feature in general), but that's just gross and shouldn't have a platform. Immediate report, I don't know if this will just result in (hopefully) the deletion of the community, or if it will also have an effect on the people who are members of it, but as it is public to everyone here's a free block list I guess:

Formerly, I didn't take a direct issue with this dertotalenkrieg guy personally, maybe I'm also confusing him with someone else but at least a few months ago I reckon he posted just historical photos and fairly "normal" reichblr stuff. Never really interacted with him as Goebbels isn't really a focus in my interests, and since a while I had him blocked anyway because he definitely did get weirder (and I just didn't want to see him anymore). I first noticed when he commented on my post to defend that other neo nazi, which should have been a clearer sign to me, however, I always had a hard time telling if he was ever genuine about something or if his entire account was just one big shitpost (personally I also don't believe in the whole reincarnation stuff, at least not in the way that he claims it to be, so the way he behaved about that might also be another reason why I couldn't really take him serious).

However this of course changes that, I never thought of looking through the guy's likes (I frankly didn't even notice that he had them public), but the things he engages with plus obviously the fact that he is a member in that neo nazi community makes it pretty obvious (that photo he posted there has literally nothing to do with historical interest). I kind of wonder now if him believing that he's the real Goebbels is what made him become a nazi (because he thought he had to replicate his "former self" or whatever) or vice versa that him being a neo nazi made him at some point think that he's one of the actual historical nazis. Regardless, he should not have a place here anymore. Thank you for letting me/us know!

[chiropteracupola]

"Are you finished with my portrait yet? Show me!" "Cipacton, I can't draw you if you keep moving!"

[deep-space-lines]

can't wait til I start this stupid job so I won't have to be doing commissions all the fucking time to buy groceries, this shut sucks the joy out of art so much. I wanna be drawing ultrakill stuff & personal art & doing crafts & reading books but every time I sit down to do something for me I'm thinking about the fact that I should be doing commissions. I'm so glad I didn't go into art as an actual career, I would hate myself so much forever

[ghostoffuturespast]

Honestly, getting real tired carrying and supporting other folks around here when most of them aren't returning the favor...

[vimbry-moved]

"likes don't do anything" they do

"there's no algorithm" there is

"well nobody uses the for you tab" I do

"reblog all art and fics you see" there's no thought put into that. if this does work on people, then it's just pity engagement borne out of guilt rather than genuine interest, which is arguably worse than having none, because it's totally hollow.

[frostios]

Ok public post of dont send hate to anyone at all???? Yall really need to chill out and understand that that anon hate youre sending is going to an actual person. None of this is that big of a deal, its a tumblr poll WHO CARES!!!! this is literally all supposed to be in good fun but when yall take it this far it makes it upsetting and awful for all parties involved. If I find out anyones doing this on my "behalf" youre getting a hard block from me i have no tolerance for this shit

[yeonban]

I was thinking there aren't enough memes catered to third parties on this site (ex. two muses talking about a third) which imo make rp flow so much smoother sometimes bc it feels more realistic for interactions to not start & end at only the two people directly involved, but then I realized... blud, you have a meme sideblog. You can literally make your own dreams come true

[vaguely-concerned]

just going about my day idly contemplating how some of the ways hawke can interact with a romanced anders are not at all unlike how they interact with leandra (and a bit of carver too, especially with a purple hawke), and then thought about my hawke in the timeline where he romances anders and was hit straight in the face with 'was he ever actually in love, or was he just desperately trying to renegotiate with his mother's ghost in any way he could' and now i need to lie down. this is the power of dragon age 2

[plushie-lovey]

Finally figured out how to block people from a sideblog on mobile. Now I can ensure anyone I don't want reblogging my posts from plushie-lovey won't be able to