#if you couldn't tell I was listening to some very sad music earlier

[cartooncadet666]

I had mentioned before in a post about Specter's mini lore that he was friends with both Pac's father and Skeebo's mother.

Now imagine this.

Put yourself in his shoes, your two bestest friends and your two halves of your whole world have children that they really want you to meet and be a part of in their lives. So much actually, that they give you a blessing and say that you could be like their uncle or something.

You have a family that you love with your whole heart, and you die before getting to embrace them.

You reincarnate around when both boys are about to go into their teenage years, in the clouds. After a while of just floating around, you realized that the cause of the war was still alive in a realm below you.

After a few years you make an alias, and then you realize that his enemy at the moment is one of your friend's son.

A yellow boy that you were supposed to help raise.

He's trying to kill someone you were supposed to be there for.

And a year or two later, he targets the other boy as well noticing how much he means to the yellow one.

The man that killed you... Is trying to get his claws on the only people you honestly have left.

And he tied your hands, so now you can't move or warn them or he'll kill you. He'll see you either as a traitor or someone to torture USING. THEM.

You have to watch in chains as he gets closer and closer to putting those blade like hands on the only lights of your world. Your sun and your little cloud to make up your sky.

You don't know where Skeebo's mother is, and you know that Zac had disappeared a long time ago.

How do you feel knowing that you looked into the eyes of two kids you were supposed to love like family? Knowing that the monster that killed you is after them next?

[ddejavvu]

can I request one with Spencer Reid based on the season 4 club scene??? He's there with Morgan and stares at the reader and Morgan shows him how to approach her but the reader doesn't fall for Morgan's approach, then Reid gives it a try and she turns into a giggly blushing mess at how cute he is and his weird facts!! Idk something fluffy??

reader is slightly mean to morgan in this one and i'm so sorry to have dissed the love of my life </333

--

"Don't bother," Morgan catches Spencer's shoulder when the man looks like he's about to give you their 'have you seen this man?' spiel. "I tried to tell her about the unsub, but she's not very impressed by men cornering her in the club. We don't have to worry about her, she won't fall for his bullshit."

"She should know, though." Spencer frowns, watching as you stare lazily at your drink, watching condensation drip down the glass, "I'll tell her."

"Reid, I'm telling you, she's not a potential victim," Morgan squeezes his shoulder, "Listen, if I couldn't get her to talk to me, there's no way the creep we're looking for could win her over. And he's not gonna waste his time on someone who says no to him."

The expression on your face changes from a dark scowl when a man stands a few inches too close to you while ordering a drink, to a soft, disinterested pout when he leaves again and you're able to relax. You don't look resistant, you look hesitant. You don't look like you're refusing to talk to anyone, you look like you're waiting for the right person to talk to you, and Derek Morgan was wrong.

"I'll just be a minute," Spencer slips out from beneath Derek's heavy hand and ignores the agent's groan as he approaches you. He knows Morgan's eyes are heavy on his back while he steps up to your barstool, but he pushes away the pressure of an audience to smile kindly at you.

"Hello," He offers, his voice barely audible over the music. His fingers latch tight around the strap of his messenger bag and the flyer he's holding wrinkles in his firm grip, "I'm Doctor Spencer Reid, with the FBI's Behavioral Analysis Unit, I'm here to warn you about a potential threat."

Maybe it's not the strongest way to start off a conversation with a pretty girl at a bar, but it's the information you need to know. Stuttered flirting and watered-down drinks can come later, if they happen at all; Spencer's priority is your safety.

Your brows raise and you look past Spencer's shoulder hesitantly, "Is it him? He tried trapping me earlier."

Spencer's chest relaxes slightly where it had been tensed, and he lets out a mild laugh, "Well, he's not the main threat I'm worried about. Did he- did he do the thing where he called you sugar?"

"Mm-mm," You shake your head, taking a sip of the sad remains of your drink and speaking after you swallow, "Sweet cheeks."

Even Spencer winces. Where Morgan's strategy is charm first, then the ugly stuff, Spencer thinks it's only fair to let you know why he's there before letting himself get distracted.

"He thinks that's some sort of magic spell," He laments, "Uh- I'm sorry if he made you uncomfortable. Technically, he was just trying to warn you about the same guy I'm warning you about, but we have a very different way of going about business."

"I can tell," You nod, eyes widening slightly for emphasis. Then you glance at the stool beside your own, "Sit down, Doctor. Tell me about this creep. Well- the one on the flyer."

Morgan watches with something ugly rearing in his chest as Spencer takes the seat you've offered him, but he wrestles it down to replace it with pride. Perhaps he'll have to reevaluate his strategy when it comes to disinterested patrons, but as he watches Spencer magically find his business card behind your ear, he's not sure he'll ever have what the young doctor does.

[theyellowstar]

Hi everyone here's my secret boss yaayyy (I'm totally not writing this on the last day)

*anyways,* meet scruffy!

yup, I told you the inspiration would be weird. scruffy is my chapter 5 secret boss for my take for the holiday Mansion dark world, and if you couldn't already tell: yes, he's based on that one hello kitty character (cinnamoroll)

his character, design and aesthetic choices are based a lot off of cinammoroll/sanrio in general.

his Item in the light world is - well, a cinnamoroll plush. or at least, the deltarune universe equivalent of that.

his speech quirk is meant to feel childlike/cute and innocent, although I'm not sure exactly what it would look like. it's a work in progress, mmk? <3

his soul mode is CYAN, but we'll get to that later...

Scruffy is teased in chapter three a couple times. My take has a very small area based off of kids shows, and the miniboss/minigames is based off of a comically obvious hello kitty parody. after you beat the minibosses (based off hello kitty, melody and kuromi respectively) they will open a shop, where they briefly mention how there was supposed to be a fourth member of the show...

scruffy is also teased by a cardboard cutout advert in the cooking district.

scruffy's dark world is the HOLIDAY WORLD, with the fountain being opened in the holiday mansion (aka the mayor/noelles house) I would love to talk about that dark world more sometime, but the general vibe it has is a "late night city in december" feel to it. anyways, scruffy can first be found at the waterfront, an area of the city overlooking the river. he then gets very attached to pretty much everyone, since he's so lonely. he assists you ever now and than In the chapter, opening up a shop and generally just keeping you company.

the secret boss fight:

Scruffy's fight is basically him having a massive panic attack. he realizes that you're going to seal the fountain and dosen't want to be alone again. when you reach the ice palace and are approaching the fountain, scruffy snaps and uses his magic to break the ice palace into two, preventing you from going further. the ice the party stands on starts floating away into the river, and the battle starts. (or something like that idk)

As I mentioned earlier, scruffys soul mode is CYAN. I'll be honest here: I based the Mechanic off of the mad mew mew fight but vision crew did that first. so it's basically the exact same soul mechanic as the cyan soul in vcdr. the heart splits into two halves and you are locked in a grid, but can move the halves of the soul horizontally and diagonally- kinda like a rythm game! think ddr

as for attacks, I have some very vague ideas, so I'll spitball them here. why not

cloud:

a raincloud with a sad scruffy face on it. it will rain down tears the player must avoid to not take damage.

floating hearts: hearts appear below the battle box and float upwards.

star wand: scruffy uses a star wand to call down stars at the soul.

plane: a plane bullet that will occasionally fly through the battle box

head bobbing attack: idk really how to describe this one, not sure what the pulled pattern would be but the "head bobbing" is simillar to that one attack from the uty flowey fight

SECRET BOSS THEME:

while I sadly am not a composer, scruffys boss theme would be pretty unique compared to other sb themes. It would highly be inspired by breakcore/vocaloid/ music, I actually made a playlist of the three songs that inspired me the most! check it out if you want

Listen to ch5 secret boss theme inspiration, a playlist by Theyellowstar2009 on #SoundCloud https://on.soundcloud.com/62Jvg

And that's about all I can show rn. I wish I could talk about his gaster trauma backstory and other stuff, but I'm already basically out of time. so that's all for now, byeeeeee

[nobodysdaydreams]

OH AM I GONNA HAVE SOME FUN WITH THIS IF I EVER HAVE THE TIME TO WRITE FANFIC

(Or my reaction to Episode 61 of Wolf359: Brave New World).

Well gang, we did it. We've reach the end. Sorry for how my reactions went from super spaced out to speed running the finale in a number of days, but I did warn you that I'm just sporadic like that. Though I have been semi-putting Brave New World off, because as much as I want to know how Wolf359 ends, I don't want it to end. I love these characters. I want good things for them. As much as I hate what they did, I wish that Hilbert and Maxwell had gotten the chance to get the redemption arc that Jacobi got. Hilbert had plenty of opportunities, but Maxwell was young and its not fair. I don't know how much more sadness they are gonna throw at me, but I'm guessing its a lot and I can't listen to it all in one sitting, so I'm just mentally preparing myself.

I also don't want this to end because I've loved giving you guys these reactions. Thank you all for reading my rambles and enjoying them. It means a lot to me, and I hope you were entertained. Thanks for coming on this journey with me, and please know that the second this is over, I am gonna figure out how to unblock the wolf359 tags (I did it so long ago I forgot how I did it, oopsie-daisy), and I am am gonna be reblogging and going crazy over all your posts and fanart and stuff so I hope you're ready for that.

Plus finishing the podcast also means it's time for me to deliver on those fics I promised y'all, which have been very carefully written (in my head). I will write them out eventually, but if there is anything my tmbs mutuals will tell you, my wolf359 mutuals, it's that my ideas tend to lead to other ideas, which means my fics do tend to be a little long, but (based on the reviews I've gotten) worth the read. So it might take a while to get them on AO3, but when I do, I hope you enjoy them!

Tagging the mutuals who got me invested in this, and if you want to be tagged or untagged from these posts, lmk, or you can follow my blog or simply follow the tag "#bods wolf359 reactions". Anyone who has followed me for a while knows my updates are inconsistent, so I apologize in advance for that and for any spelling/grammar mistakes in my posts.

@sophieswundergarten @oflightningandstars @acollectionofcuriousreblogs @herawell @commsroom @lovelyladylavie

Episode 61: Brave New World

The fact that Brave New World was written in 1932 and Cutter and Pryce are old and the fact that the message of Brave New World is about humans losing their humanity...already we're setting the stage.

And based on Kepler's earlier declaration, why do I suspect that this is the part where Doug's daughter's life and Minkowski's husband's life are finally on the line. I know Cutter and Pryce won't hesitate to aim their guns at them (and probably the rest of the planet too).

That moment when you can't tell if Wolf359 starts with sad piano music, or if this is just an ad for another podcast.

Oh it's the intro. Hi Hera! Or Miranda...oh wait I genuinely can't tell if this is Miranda talking about herself or Hera talking about her.

Clouded eyes, weak heart, child genius, orphan, no friends...I see. Obsessed with making things stronger and better. Yeah, except for herself I bet. Oh. She made her friends. Because she could control them. "Never left her behind, never talked back, never were afraid of her...except when she wanted them to be." "The one thing she couldn't fix was herself" see I called it!

Until? Oh no. Marcus.

And Old Man? Almost as clever as her? "Hello little girl. I want you to make a doll for me. You're very best doll. It must look like a real person, and sound like a real person, and be a real person." "And if I can?" "Then you and I will fix the world. I will be young and you will be whole and the world will finally be everything it could be. Everything it should be."

Okay. Thoughts.

When I made my jokes about Pryce being Cutter's evil science girlfriend, I was not assuming a romantic relationship, I was trying to use that language to insult Pryce and Cutter by making them sound like the kids they hate so much in a frivolous, juvenile and toxic relationship. Then, I was told by a few of you that given this assumption, it’s important that I know that I shouldn't assume that Pryce met Cutter when she was young based on this story and it was meant to be "fairytale language", which does make sense given that Cutter being willing to call Miranda his "work wife" when he's known her since she was young enough to be his granddaughter is incredibly creepy.

I appreciate the clarification, but also, I really don't think it matters whether this is hyperbole or not. If it is, then okay. Pryce and Cutter's relationship is still weird. If it's not, then Cutter's a creep, what a surprise. Tell me something I don't know.

"And so they did. And everyone lived happily ever after. The end."

The fact that it's Cutter that interrupts Miranda's story to give that closing line and declare this the end adds to the creepiness. Miranda says what Marcus's promise to her was, but never says whether she agreed before Marcus jumps in with "and so they did". Also, if Miranda was dying, Cutter was her only chance at survival. It also sounds like she was a kid with a pretty messed up view of the world. Doesn't excuse anything she did, but see Cutter? THAT is how you give a good sad backstory, and she did it in five minutes. You spent a whole hour with Nash just so you could cry that the government took your precious telescope.

--------------

"THAT'S the evil plan?" Care to fill us in Doug?

"That's THE plan, yes." Shut it Rachel. It's evil and you know it.

It's...so evil. And so...planned. Doug's words might be simple, Rachel, but sometimes simple is better. It gets to the point and cuts through the BS.

"It's real and it's happening" And ARE you happy about this Kepler? And why tell them?

Good question Kepler, why are you here? Please tell me you're going to take Rachel away.

"You're going to help" "of course I am" Are you Kepler? Oh please tell me he gets a redemption arc and betrays Cutter.

Does anyone want to fill ME in on the plan? No one? Okay. :(

"Where's the trust?" That's not for you, Rachel.

"I really don't like her" I don't either, Doug.

"What about Cutter's plan?" WHAT IS THE PLAN? WILL BOB AGREE TO IT? WHAT WILL WORK? WHAT WILL THEY DO?

We can't stop them, so let's see our families again. No, Minkowski, you can do this! I believe in you! You can't just go home, we have two hours left! That's plenty of time to stop them.

It's been a long...years.

I forget how long they've been up there. And that everyone on Earth believes they're dead.

And not do anything about WHAT? WHAT IS THE PLAN PLEASE FILL ME IN.

What was that sound?

-----------

Oh Doug is in the comms room. Oh yikes. It's okay, Doug. We've all broken very expensive lab equipment before.

"Living in a cuckoo clock" you have no idea, Doug.

"I wouldn't do that." Is that Pryce or Hera? And yeah why is there gas?

"Good boy" oh good it's Hera. Hera calls him good boy, Pryce just calls him boy.

"Who are you?" OH THIS IS DOUG MEETING HERA FOR THE FIRST TIME. At first I thought that Doug...forgot her? Or something? I was confused.

Ultraviolet halo? Contraband cigarettes. 😂

"Just ask. I'm here to help." Aw that was sweet.

-------------

Ew Rachel. I'm gonna start using "----" breaks to cut off sections.

"Actually he's in quite a lot of pain. Back to work." Always charming, Rachel.

"Thanks for saving our lives-" Kepler, that's a great question. What IS this? Where was the concern for brainwashed Jacobi or better still, WHERE WAS YOU CONCERN FOR MAXWELL? Or Jacobi dealing with her death?

"And do what? Get myself shot? Get you shot? No. I played the game." Was it worth it, Kepler?

"That's the lie you tell yourself. The truth? The truth is that you were afraid. And the only thing YOU did was try to save YOUR hide?"

Dang this dialogue is amazing.

"You're not wrong." "Which one?" "Both of you." This isn't YOUR conversation Rachel.

-----------

Momentary weakness?

Oh my gosh, the good food too? Why does Cutter hit so many show Curtain parallels? He might torture, enslave, and kill people, but he's gonna get them a good meal first.

Good for you Doug, turning down the wine. I'm proud of him.

This is a sweet moment between Doug and Lovelace. I gotta say, since I'll be reacting to this section by section, it's nice that they have it broken up a little like this so I can reach a section and then get to a stopping point if I need to.

I'm just worried about who is going to die. These conversations feel like goodbyes.

----------

Minkowski. I know you miss your husband. But...yeah, ARE you ready to go back?

YEAH WE'RE DOING THIS! To borrow from Eris's words: "Let's beat the bad guys 🥳"

----------

Quiet Rachel.

LET'S GO MINKOWSKI. WHO CARES WHAT CUTTER AND PRYCE WANT?

Wait. Destroy a whole species?

Are they talking about humans?

...are they ecofascists? Eugenicists? Pryce is literally disabled, how the heck...

"Only stay if you have to." Well, it sounds like you all have to.

"Hera what did you say to her" "Something a friend once said to me" 🥰🥰🥰

"I'm starting to think these guys are my kind of stupid" GO JACOBI!

"Adorable corpses 🥰" Rachel you suck!

"Come with us. You're still people, you're still on our side, even if you don't think you are." Very true. What do you think Pryce and Cutter will do to YOU when they have what they want? They'll dispose of you too.

"You're allowed to make mistakes as long as at some point you admit that they're mistakes!" "I was wrong and people died. All I can do is not be wrong again" "You knew what you were getting into" "No I didn't. I didn't know I was getting into mind control and reducing people to nothing. There's a line. And you're almost out of chances to get on the right side of it." PREACH!

"There is no line. Forwards. Always forwards." FORWARDS TO WHAT RACHEL? WHY HAS NO ONE SHOT HER YET?

"Thank you, Daniel, and goodbye." Oh so that's how it is. Goodbye Kepler. I look forward to your last minute sacrifice.

Character arcs woven like a quilt.

"We're going to crush them" Yeah, let's do it!

A full reboot? Worth the risk? That kind of stuff always worries me.

Is this Maxwell's notes? It's hard to recognize the voice on the recording. "She really was something special" Oh it is Maxwell.

----------

Ah. Another flashback! Jacobi meeting Maxwell.

Looks like Kepler got an important text.

"Cool stuff with robots" good work Maxwell. The best scientists can always dumb it down.

"The Whiskey speech" 😂

"You're one of the best. You're gonna do great things. It's the last nice thing you'll ever hear from me. Except: you need anything I got you're back. No matter what happens, I've got your back. I'll take you up on that." 😭💔

Oh it's okay. Take my heart. I didn't need it.

----------

"Are they going to do the smart thing?" "Well who are we to deny them an agonizing death?" Shut it Cutter.

They put a tracker on Jacobi? See I knew Rachel was a snake. So is Kepler, but at least he's gonna take a bullet for someone or something. My money's on Jacobi, but I could be wrong.

----------

Yep. Eiffel logs everything.

"I never got the chance to say I'm sorry. YOUR DAD LOVES YOU, YOUR DAD LOVES YOU SO MUCH." 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

"Don't let anyone tell you that you can't do something. You can go so far. I wish I could be there to see it. I love you Ann. Always and forever."

AKJLS;DJFKL;SJF;ALSKDJFA;KD

Time to go? Oh. The comms room? Oh, right. Poor Doug.

"One more day, and then we're done." This is so sad.

Wait...what is happening? OH SHE LIED. SHE'S TAKING EIFFEL HOME TO PROTECT HIM. SO HE CAN SEE HIS DAUGHTER? DON'T DO THIS TO DOUG! DON'T DO THIS TO ME.

"Go home Eiffel, hug your daughter" OH HE CALLED HER RENEE!

This leaves me with so much feeling.

Eiffel can't leave he's the main character. Who will make pop culture references? Who will save the day through the power of random associations, luck, and good intentions?😭😭😭

I hate that they the bad guys know exactly what happened too.

"I'm so sick of this happening!" Use too Doug.

Oh "For god's sake just let me change the flight plan!" So that's what the F stands for. The lore I've been waiting for.

"People need to know what's coming?" Minkowski...I get why you did what you did, but HERA DIDN'T GET TO SAY GOODBYE.

----------

Is this Minkowski's flashback?

Oh when Minkowski met Hera.

"I heard units prefer to go by their serial numbers..." "I don't" Good for you Hera!

I love this. I love these flashbacks, but they just make everything so much more sad!

----------

Ah. More piano music. Does this mean we're back to the bad guys, or...?

Is this Cutter playing the piano?

"The Tempest. Do read a book sometime. Is this the best use of our time?" Pryce and Cutter are really the most toxic people.

"A storm is coming. And on the other side..." "Oh Brave New World." "That has such people in it."

Yes, Pryce and Cutter. People. As in humans. As in: NOT YOU.

"How have they decided to throw their lives away?" "By destroying the device"

WHAT DEVICE? What are you talking about?

Heck yeah a harpoon! I hope Cutter gets it.

----------

"This is Minkowski. I love schedules and musicals and that man who I married." 😂 1-2-3-4-5? It was a good guess Doug. Would have worked in my fanfic.

Okay here comes Victor...

...um what is happening? What is this?

...a surprise party? Sounds fun! 🪩🥳

Oh right, the bio tracker. I'm happy to see Jacobi pulled one over on him. Now shoot him! Please tell me that was Victor that got shot.

They...they trapped him in the room. "Tell me this before I kick your ass" Why on Earth would he ever tell you anything Victor?

----------

Okay, so they are blowing up Pryce and Cutter's evil device, but...what is the device? What ARE they doing? Did I miss it? I'm sure they're doing something to enslave or kill all of humanity, but I'd like the specifics.

"The Hephaestus has almost fallen out of the sky so many times, it's hard to believe it's happening." Well...the show isn't over until it's over.

Is this a Lovelace flashback? A date? A date with who? Oh, Hilbert. Not that kind of date then. Oh, this is her introducing Hilbert to the crew he's going to betray.

"Prudent to keep things formal" to avoid the guilt.

Selburg. Once again with the constant fake names. Dmitri. Matthew.

Though I think Miranda has always had hers.

----------

Yeah Doug. You've listened to her say it so many times. This is like me trying to drive in my hometown. No, I wasn't paying attention in the car as a kid, I was not the one doing the driving. I just zoned out and we got from point A to point B by magic.

Oh, Minkowski. "Get up and do it already. You can do it."

Yes you can Doug. You are the main character. You are the guy that's gonna swoop in at the last second when Cutter pulls one over one them. So you CAN do it. I believe in you, Eiffel.

"Victor Uniform Lemma Charlie Alpha November VULCAN" I knew it must stand for something! Good work Doug!

----------

Oh dear. More of Pryce and Cutter's marriage falling apart.

"Time to change the world." Or you could not. Maybe you could just not.

WHY IS THE DEVICE RUNNING? WHAT DEVICE? WHY DOES HE NEED TWO MINUTES?

Please explain this? Oh of course he has a speech.

Oh he's talking to the dear listeners, not the Hephaestus crew.

Ah. The Decima virus. Thanks a lot Hilbert. DEPLOY THROUGHOUT THE EARTH? He wants to cause a pandemic????

Automatic, can't be stopped, destruction of human race? But why would the aliens care? Oh because Cutter wants them to talk to HIM? But the aliens prefer Doug.

As do most others it would seem. Hurts, doesn't it, Cutter? All those years of experience and work, and yet, you still just can't have what he has, can you?

Ah. It's Bob. Did he just shock Bob? No temporal jumps, no disintegration?

"Remarkable and cold" No Bob, you saw Doug! It's just them. They don't need to be cold.

Willing to disrupt species survival??? What piece of tech do they want? Surrogates?

They want to fill the world with people they can control?

"You can't make duplicates of our species." Bob, they are worst than you can ever imagine.

"We're going to make better humans." "That is not the way that-" "Random part out of the equation" That's a bad idea. Do you know how evolution works? Do you know the negative side effects that have come out of selective breeding of animals? The unintended consequences? To quote Miranda from earlier in the episode: READ. A. BOOK.

"Our Humanity" Gross.

HOW ARE THEY ACCEPTABLE? IT'S MUSIC. WHY ARE YOU THAT DESPERATE FOR MUSIC?

Oh here is comes. Betraying Rachel and Warren.

OH TELL HIM BOB.

"Your brains can't handle it without modification. I cannot with my limitations. Do you have Doug Eiffel?"

Hahaha...hahahahahahaha....HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA..... 😂😂😂😂

Oh boy...oh Cutter is gonna snap. If only Doug had just kept going...

Oh wow okay Cutter has lost it. What happened to emotionally playing the piano and giving speeches about how the time had come?

oh geez no, Doug is back. Doug, no, they need you for the evil plans. This is a good idea, but very bad timing.

"He wouldn't" Oh he WOULD. He really really would.

Show 'em how it's done Dougie Boy!

"I'll get it" No you will NOT Miranda.

Kepler, now is a great time to betray Cutter and Rachel. A really good time.

Also is Victor dead? I'm trying to keep track of how many bad guys are gone.

----------

"You're the only person who can receive the data Pryce and Cutter want" Oh dear.

"With my life darling, with my life" 🥹💕

So what is Hera going to do?

"Lets make sure at least someone makes it through this" YOU ALL NEED TO MAKE IT.

"Let's go get our idiot back" That's the spirit baby!

----------

Oh dear. Jacobi. "Terrific for an SI-5." Wow.

"I'm gonna win!" I hope so Jacobi. But it sounds very not good.

Oh and here's Doug. And um...other Doug. Aka Bob.

Bob. Do not do this.

That was it? "You shall not call me again" "No Bob. I shall not."

THEY KILLED BOB.

"I hate loose ends"

I mean, I saw that coming, but dumb idea. I'm SURE Bob's family will be cool with that! Oh right, he just...recreates himself. But this has got to be trippy for Doug because Bob takes his form. Imagine watching a clone of yourself die.

"Pryce is not right?" DANG IT DOUG, I WAS GONNA USE THAT PUN IN MY FANFICTION AND NOW I CAN'T (WELL MAYBE I STILL WILL WE'LL SEE WHAT HAPPENS HERE).

"Let's make a deal 🥰" Wow Pryce is the worst. Again, very trippy how much she sounds like Doug.

Wait. GOING IN? What does. What does "going in" mean? Don't go in, I don't like going in?

Ah yes. Going into someone's mind. I've done that in my fics before too. Fun stuff. And um...it's because you're disorganized Doug, I hate to tell you.

"That was...that was...that was..." OH SHE DESTROYED THE MEMORY. OH SHE TOOK THE MEMORY?

This is...horrifying. She could take his daughter away. She could take Hera, Minkowski, and everyone and everything away.

HERA! HECK YEAH!

Oh my gosh is she actually here? Like as a person?

This is everything.

----------

Ah yes, confrontation with Cutter.

Cutter has modified his body or he has a magic shield.

He can catch bullets? Of course he can.

I wouldn't try hand to hand combat either. I bet he gave himself super strength.

There has to be a weak spot. He has to have a weakness. But what could it be...

...what is the opposite of a chai latte?

----------

Ah. Back to Jacobi.

Kepler this would be a GREAT TIME to come in and get your arc. "I'm not a good guy" oh Jacobi. What's happening now? Oh has he been pretending to lose this fight to buy them time? What is happening? It's hard to tell.

----------

She's always been interesting, Pryce! You’re just noticing now.

"You don't look like me." Disappointed, Pryce? Sad that she’s better than you?

And the fact that all these AI want human forms...this is so sad. They structured them based on human consciousness so of course they want human bodies and experiences, that's just cruel.

Wait Doug got beat up in the 2nd grade? The Star Wars Prequels? "I might be okay without that one" No one tell him about the sequels 😂😂😂

"Of course you can. You can do anything." 💕

"You and what army, 214?" The sounds in this really makes the fight sound super epic. One of my favorite parts of the whole thing.

----------

Oh gross not Rachel again. Why is she still here?

And Kepler. Dude, you wanna hurry it up? Grab your arc or go, the clock is a-ticking.

"We're changing what humanity can be." you suck Rachel.

Pulse beacon, half power? What does that mean? The signal wouldn't have made it back to Earth?

"We have tell Mr. Cutter." "Do we?" KEPLER THIS IS IT!

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!!!!

He gave you a chance, Rachel. He gave you a chance. "After all, I am still a person. I'm on Jacobi and Minkowski's side. Even if they don't think I am"

And even if they never know you were.

Is she gonna blast him out the airlock? Rachel, you're dying, it's over! You were wrong! The best thing to do is let him live!

He's literally drinking as he goes out the airlock. My...my wish came true. But this isn't how I wanted it to... why now? Why like this? 💔

It's a true sacrifice though. Because even though no one will ever know, he still did the right thing.

You became more than just a Whiskey Boy in the end Kepler. You became so much more.

Rachel, no so much. You were never anything. It doesn't matter if Warren was not as good as you. Because now you're both dead. And your life, well...you were never anyone. Or at least, you haven't been anything or anyone for a long, long, time. So be quiet now.

Silence at last.

----------

HOW CAN CUTTER GET HER TO POINT HER GUN AT MINKOWSKI? WHAT...WHAT DID THEY DO?

Well this isn't good.

Ah yes. Back to Jacobi. Looks like Kepler's not coming to save him. But at least he took care of Rachel.

Explosives? Fireworks? Oh this is a party! 🎆🎇🧨

Well that was a grand surprise party! But um...does this mean Victor and Jacobi are dead now?

Ah back to Lovelace and Minkowski!

"It's...side wave radiation!" Okay, thank you Cutter, now we know what we need to shut down.

"Humans who do exactly what we tell them to do" "You're crazy"

Yeah. He is literally crazy.

OH SHE SHOT HER??? Oh no....Oh no please tell me SOMEONE makes it out of this.

What really did happen the night of Doug's junior prom? Sounds interesting.

Fishing with Dad? Okay these memories are getting personal.

Wait, what did Doug do?

What are they going to do? Oh they could delete the memories Bob put in there. But they need to find them before Pryce.

----------

Shut up about the stomach wound Cutter. No one cares. This isn't rewriting a person. And THAT'S NOT WHY PEOPLE CARED ABOUT HER YOU IDIOT. And without your intelligence and tech, who. are. YOU, CUTTER?

Renee Minkowski! YES! Tell him!

Lovelace you can fight this. I know you can.

Shut it Cutter. No one cares.

"Sooner or later, you're gonna do as your told" And sooner or later, you are gonna lose everything, Cutter.

"You really think I'm afraid of you?" "THE BEAUTIFUL THING IS I DON'T NEED YOU TO BE"

Please tell me they have the harpoon gun.

IT WAS THE HARPOON GUN? OH HECK YEAH!

"That's...not...how...this is suppose to..."

Yes, it is Cutter. Like you said. You know how these stories end. The good guys win. They might lose a lot in the process, but, they win.

Is he dead now, like, for real dead? I don't want to celebrate too early but MAN what a way to go.

He and Rachel even died in similar ways to. It's like they short circuited when they realized they didn't win.

----------

Ah Pryce. "I don't need to beat you. No matter how much I want to, no matter how much you deserve it, it wouldn't change anything. What I need to do is make sure you're not going to hurt anyone else again ever." That's right!

"I'm not going to hurt you." OH SAY THE CLIP YOUR WINGS LINE COME ON COME ON COME ON.

"Clip your wings a little. Goodbye Dr. Pryce."

So...Hera's gone now. So what is about to happen?

Oh no. Is she...is she gonna delete both their memories?

"Bye bye to my memories?" Oh Doug, oh poor Doug. His daughter, everything...oh Doug this sacrifice will not be forgotten. 🫡 This is so Milligan coded of him (@/tmbs mutuals).

"You can't. Don't do this." "Oooo...sorry buddy, we gotta" YEAH THROW IT BACK AT HER EIFFEL!

And goodbye. I hope you have a second chance with your daughter. I hope you never remember the trauma. All a bad dream. All a bad dream.

"Do you have any idea what you've...I'm sorry...what was I saying...where...where am I?" Oh my gosh the way her voice changed...and she apologized. Oh my gosh. She's literally a new person.

So...memories gone? Where does this leave her? Oh this will be fun in fanfics. Imagine having no memories, and people are weird about it, and then finding out that before you were basically the worst person to ever exist. How would you even mentally cope with that?

"Yeah commander, it's going." No, Doug! Doug!

"It was an honor, sir" Oh this is so sad.

"Hera...Hera I...I..." You know Hera. You were in his mind. Please tell me you know.

Oh. He's gone. 💔

----------

WHY IS RACHEL BACK I THOUGHT WE TOOK CARE OF THAT?

Oh it's her and Eiffel meeting, okay.

"Are you just asking if I'm the commander? Yes." I love Minkowski and Doug's friendship.

"Never use one word when ten will do" oh Doug...never change. Even if your memories are gone, I hope you find yourself again.

He didn't know you couldn't smoke in space? Oh Doug...at least now you can quit.

----------

"Do I know you?" Yes Doug. Yes you do.

She's briefing him. He...he doesn't remember Star Wars???

Well. At least he gets to watch it all again!

Wait. What's happening to the station? Are they...are they going into the star?

Oh no. So it's up to the dear listeners to save them, or...they just die here. Heroes. Heroes that everyone on Earth thought were dead already.

Oh she's rebooting now.

"Should we be doing something?" Oh did Renee pass out?

So...is Doug on the ship alone without his memories? What's happening?

----------

Where is Renee now? Lovelace? Where? What? The Urania? How?

Did they leave Pryce on board? Did Jacobi get out?

Oh good Hera, Minkowksi, and Lovelace made it. Jacobi did it! Nice work, Jacobi. Oh gosh he's so dramatic 😂

So I assume Doug made it too?

"What about Kepler" "No." Oh so, they must have found Rachel and discovered what he did. "You can't save everyone I suppose"

But you did save him, Jacobi. You did save Whiskey Boy.

And then where is Doug?

Oh he's listening to himself.

"I was a jerk" There's a lot worse things you can be, Doug.

It does make you wonder. If you looked at your life with a blank slate, what would you think? How would you be kinder to yourself? How would you be more critical?

"Am I still that same person?" If you want to be, Doug. If you want to be.

And what happened to Pryce? Please tell me you did not give her to the dear listeners.

IS THIS PRYCE?

Oh Hera and Pryce. "Your voice is like mine, isn't it?" "Nice to meet you, Hera." Oh. Oh my gosh. Pryce calling her Hera.

"And I'm...I'm going to tell you a very, very long story about the two of us, okay?"

I hope this ends well...

...please be a good guy, Pryce.

----------

Hey guys. Guys. Quick question.

Why are there 10 minutes left?

I um...I like this ending. They're going back to Earth, all is well. Please tell me nothing bad happens.

What happened with Pryce? Hera hasn't glitched at all? She did it. She conquered her fear. GO HERA! But um...what about Pryce? Is she...is she good?

Minkowski needs to find her husband. And yeah...you guys have a lot to figure out.

Lovelace...yep. Take Goddard down. Good idea. Explain to your friends you're an alien with extended lifespan...might want to break that gently.

Take who out?

Oh the ship. Is this it? They're going home? Please tell me they're actually going home. Don't tease me like this.

Oh right, what will Hera do now? I'm sure you'll find something.

And yeah. Doug might not know who he is, but he knows there are people he should see. And then...he'll figure it out. They'll all figure it out. "Am I still Doug Eiffel? I'm not sure. Want to find out together?"

Yes. I love this. 🥰

I also love how it connects to "will I miss you, when you go away forever Doug?" Yes, but he's not gone Hera. He's not gone.

----------

Five minutes left. So...what is that for? Do we finally get to meet Doug's daughter and Minkowski's husband...or…

That was wolf359! Oh it’s just the credits!

Great ending. But...wait. No wait. I'm confused hang on.

How did Jacobi escape from Victor to get the Urania? How is Hera going to survive on Earth? How did they fix those wounds? If the Hephaestus went into the star...

Wait. These aren't more alien copies are they? Oh wait, no Hera's here, sorry y'all I panicked for a moment. They duplicate human lives, but as far as I know, not AI. Also, if this was a happy dream sequence, why would Pryce be there? Okay, phew, we're good. We're...finally good.

And even if they are alien copies...the process will take 14,000 years. So. For the rest of their lives, at least. Especially since...they're still using Lovelace to spy on Earth. For the next 14,000 years. But I guess that’s a problem for future generations.

Okay. Great ending. Thoughts:

Cutter got what he deserved. So did Rachel, but I feel a bit sadder that she never realized the pointlessness of her life until it was too late (and really not even then). Also love that Cutter's original last name was "Newman" since he keeps making himself into "new men".

Kepler's sacrifice was great no notes. I hope he enjoyed the Whiskey.

Blessie should have come back, and in fanfic, I will find a way to make this happen.

Eris should have come back, and in fanfic, I will find a way to make this happen.

Are the Dear Listeners just going to leave Earth alone now? If the Hephaestus went into the star...does that mean they can make Rachel and Cutter copies? Because I don't like that...

I love that the aliens weren't the biggest threat in the end and Cutter was always the real monster.

Is Pryce cool now? She doesn't want revenge, does she? Like what do you even do with her at that point? (I have plans for this, don't worry).

How do they dismantle or repurpose Goddard? Cutter probably has guys still loyal to him on Earth or people who are gonna try to be the next Cutter now that he's out of the picture. How do you deal with them?

Okay...so the decima virus can be used for great good and great evil. Cutter apparently had stations with it set up all over the Earth. I hope no one stumble across one of those anytime soon. What exactly are they going to do about decima? It's still swimming about in Eiffel's blood.

Is Minkowski's journalist husband going to blow this case wide open? I hope that after her brief phone call with his secretary, Cutter didn't kill him to keep the rumors from spreading.

Will the families of all the other astronauts that died ever get closure? I know we don't want this getting out and causing panic, but they deserve answers too.

When. Is. The. Empty. Man. Going. To. Show. Up???? /j /It was Cutter the whole time because he has no humanity

Well that was fun. Again, the fanfic will probably take a good long while (I put off a lot in order to listen to this ending), but I look forward to mapping it out.

Once again, thank you all for listening along with me. This has been fun.

Now, to figure out how to unblock those pesky tags...

[jeahreading]

Fine listen

(Long rant upcoming about my love life....more like failed love life)

DJ yesterday was bullshit up until like the last 15 mins of my time there. The guy was an amazing singer but GODDAMIT PEOPLE ARE HERE TO DANCE ON MERA NAAM MERY HAIN AND SHEILA KI JAWANI, not some roadside mellow english song T_T.

sooo, I was very confident yesterday I looked fabulous for the first time in forever, i had a red lip and fishnets and a pretty short dress(WHICH KEPT RIDING UP OMG I THINK I WAS BUSY PULLING DOWN MY DRESS MORE THAN I WAS DANCING).

So was like *deeeeeeeeeeeeep brethes* i'm gonna ask out a girl today(I had asked her out earlier and she'd said yes for a date but for reasons we couldn't meet up and it kinda just fizzled out after that), so I took her aside when the music wasn't too loud or important, and I basically rambled "My father, ever the wingman, gave me courage, and btw you don't have to answer me or anything, and if you say no this changes nothing we are still best friend and ily platonically<3, but you maybe wanna go on a date on me, ik im asking for the second time haha lmao, oh wait, i forgot to ask, are you even single, you're probably not haha"

And she looked so sympathetic, she was like "The guy who has been standing beside me the entire time is actually my boyfriend, I'm so sorry, I swear this Changes nothing I still luv you bestie mwah"(kissed my cheek).

And qe were hugging like for sure dw bout it, just shooting my shot, if you even break up, call me up jk haha lmao.

Okay, but to be fair, I had a GINORMOUS crush on her in 2023, and then throughout 24, it kind of just died down a little. I still really like her, but she's not occupying my every thought like before. I'm still disappointed, and I would absolutely jump at the opportunity if she's single again, but it's fine. I'm not crying over it; I'm just a little sad.

but BRO her bf is like a fucking tank, I noticed later that guy was standing and looking us over the entire time, Not in a creepy way he wasn't listening in, and she prob won't tell him but more of, i swear if something happens to my gf i will rip you to shreds kinda guy.

Damn man.

[wrongcaitlyn]

hi!! i know you get a lot of music recs but i thought i might just add some of my own too bc i love the dear reader series sm and literally cannot stop connecting songs to it 😭

'favor' by julien baker is maybe a bit depressing but also some of the lyrics just seem so nico, like 'turns out that all my friends were trying to do me a favour' and saying how hard it is to be tender and all (i feel like she has a lot of depressing songs which could be past nico-coded but not so much with his mental health getting better??)

but also more positively 'free treasure' by adrianne lenker which doesn't super feel like nico's style in terms of melody but the lyrics kind of fit to me, with things like 'you show me understanding, patience and pleasure' and 'just when i thought i couldn't feel more, i feel a little more'

also (last one!!) 'it'll all work out' by phoebe bridgers i can kind of see as nico either to bianca or to himself pre-transition - just kind of sad but healing at the same time

thank you for letting me ramble!! i love your work <3

AHHSDF YAY MORE SONG RECS sorry it took so long to get to listening to these but i'm here!!!

i swear julien baker (as well as lucy dacas) are artists that i keep telling myself i need to listen to bc i do love a lot of phoebe bridgers and boygenius songs and yet i never have😭 I WILL THIS SUMMER god i actually need to make a list of discographies to binge it's just hard forcing myself to listen to new musiclksjfd

but anyway onto the songs!!

you are SO real about depressive songs being so nico, and honestly even though his mental health is getting better, the problems don't always go completely away! i think it's very natural for him to still have those depressive songs, because like, he is still struggling with depression and ptsd and definitely still has bad days, and uses music as a way to vent :/

as for favor, these lyrics are SPOT ON but what stood out even more was the production on first listen, like it's such a nico coded song from everything from the lyrics to the production and i just love it?? god i have a playlist of songs that i want to add to albums and this is going straight there, at this point i have so many songs that i don't have the timespan to possibly have nico release all of them but i'll just keep in mind for possible future playlists😭😭 i absolutely love that one!! the lyric you pointed out is literally so real, and also "how long do i have until /i've spent up everyone's goodwill?" is just SO nico coded oh my god😭it's definitely him in high school coded, just thinking every now and then of like why he ended up where he did :/ and "who put me in your way to find? what right had you not to let me die?"LKSDJFDSJF IM SO OBSESSED WITH THIS NOW WTF im gonna keep listening to it all day and stressing over which possible album i could fit it in because i'm like out of room but also aghsldkfjsldf it needs to go somewhere

anyway. NEXT ONE

these lyrics😭😭i wanna cry this is just him finally feeling comfortable and happy and content with his life and with will and AHGSLDFJ THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY "we're sitting on the kitchen floor / just when i thought i couldn't feel more / i feel a little more" LIKE. THEY'RE JUST. SOULMATES. I LOVE THEM. AND I LOVE THIS.

(just scrolled back up and saw that that was the lyric that you put into the ask and that was a total coincidence but just goes to show your idea was absolutely perfect like spot on)

now onto phoebe!! i've listened to stranger in the alps a few times but i don't think i heard this one before which is odd, but then again i don't listen to phoebe as much as i'd like :/

but holy shit. i wish i heard this earlier. this one is 100% going on an album i just need to figure out which one bc it's literally perfect wtf. "when she needed me i wasn't around" talking abt when bianca died and he wasn't there, and then "now the wind is high and the rain is heavy" the RAINSDLFJ all i can think abt is nico thinking abt bianca when his dad died and the same sorta situation :// "never goes away, but it all works out" is just him finally trying to work through the trauma over the years and him finally coming to a time of like sort of peace? and contentedness in his life??

also idk why but my first thought at the lyric of "better off with him than here with me" was hearing it as "better off with Him" as in like referring to god and heaven, "than here with me" :(( i know that's 100% not the og meaning but that's how i initially interpreted it (bc i was already thinking of biancaksljdf) and probably how i'll continue to see it😭😭

anyway these were SUCH beautiful recs omg thank you so so much <333 i shall now scour through my playlists to try and find spots for them!!! worst comes to worst i'll have to move a few other songs into being unreleased songs, or singles, and maybe make a playlist of unreleased songs, and another for singles, we'll see!

[weirdblueskies]

I miss my ex. But I know I don't want to be with him. I just miss us being together. I miss the company. I miss how the kids listened to him better. I miss the input he had for me regarding parenthood. I miss how he'd snuggle his cat and play with him. I miss his cat. I miss how he interacted with my cat and the dog. I miss his warmth. I miss his sense of humor and his goofiness and how he sang and listened to music so loud. I miss how he'd get me coffee every morning. I miss braiding his hair. I miss painting his nails. I miss plucking his eyebrows. I miss hearing his snore at 7pm when he fell asleep so early. I miss his company. I miss the knowledge he shared with me. I miss messaging him daily. I miss his beard. I miss how attractive he is. I miss doing it (idk if that's censored here). I miss vacations and road trips with him. I miss his scent. I miss so much about him. But I feel lighter and happier and less angry when I'm not in a relationship with him.

I don't miss unmet expectations. I don't miss that there were so many projects he talked about but never acted on. I don't miss how he'd lay his entire body on me and make me feel suffocated and like I couldn't move. I don't miss how if I vocalized that, he'd tell me I didn't like to cuddle. I don't miss being told I only wanted to be with him so I wouldn't be alone. I don't miss how he always played the devil's advocate, turning himself into a victim every time. I don't miss how he was so strict with the kids to the point that I was worried I was too soft. I don't miss having to be the one to do everything even as I'm by myself now and it's solely my responsibility. I don't miss his ideals on feminism and gender roles. I don't miss how he had some very incel-esque opinions. And how he'd post them publicly. It was very embarrassing. I don't miss how he was always "broke". I don't miss the lack of passion and romance. I don't miss being called abusive when I know I'm far from it. I don't miss never going on dates. I don't miss the arguments. I don't miss feeling alone in my relationship because he was always asleep so early. I don't miss being told I didn't let him feel emotions. I don't miss being told I wasn't ready for a relationship. I don't miss him saying he needed to do things and never doing it. I don't miss having to re-explain what I said over and over again. I don't miss feeling unheard. I don't miss being told that I didn't follow through on my word when my word was me being in the mood earlier in the day and not being in the mood later and I don't miss him not taking the initiative to initiate those actions. I don't miss how I had trouble trusting him, though that may be me. I don't miss his instability. I don't miss being told that my anxiety was easily solved. I don't miss that he never quite figured out the method to soothing my anxiety - let me vent and cry and spiral and just be there for me. I don't miss the drama and fretting and paranoia about his ex. I don't miss him being a hypochondriac. I don't miss him being paranoid. I don't miss him believing in flat earth.

I wish things could have been different. I wish he could have been more masculine and I wish I could have been more feminine. I have that issue to work on and I didn't realize it until it was too late. I wish that I would have allowed him in. I wish I was more vulnerable and I hate that I kept him out a bit. But he also saw parts of me no one else has seen. I love him dearly and I hope that we will be friends one day. I hope that he finds happiness and love in the way that he needs.

Adjusting to a new normal after a break up is hard. Adjusting when you initiated the break up and are sad about it is even harder. I know this is what I want and what I need - to not be with him. But he's a good person and he deserves the world and it's just hard to break someone's heart like that.

I genuinely love him. I loved him. But I think he loved me more. And I'm sorry for not realizing that sooner. Everything was if and maybe and back up plans for if we broke up were put in place. I should have known it wouldn't work. I should have been aware. I feel awful we went on for a year and 9 months only for it to end. I don't know when I realized he wasn't the one. But we will each find our person. And hopefully we will come back to each other as friends in the future. Hopefully he won't hate me. He didn't bring me the peace I needed and I didn't either. This is the healthiest relationship either of us has been in and I feel that we learned so much and grew so much and the whole purpose of our relationship was to become better versions of ourselves.

Tumblr is my diary. I put the things I think here and I release them into the universe to aid in my healing. I was unhappy for a long time. That's why I even made this. Part of it was unhappiness within myself but I think it was a denial of the unhappiness within the relationship as well.

I'm terrified of another failed relationship. I'm terrified of any sort of failure. I suppose reframing it to not be a failure would help because just because a relationship doesn't work, doesn't mean it failed or I'm a failure. I just have to remember that.

[elinor-taylor]

Strange Allies

Marie thought she could still hear the goblin screaming after her: Come back, come back, come back! Over and over again. It might've just been that the horrible sound of it was imprinted on her eardrums somehow, like the music imprinted onto her father's old vinyl records. Sooner or later, a noise like that was bound to carve a permanent groove.

She'd wanted to help Muggins get down from the trap. But the roaring, humming murmuration that swept through the trees after her had filled Marie with an awful fear, the likes of which she hadn't felt since the day she found out she would never again walk the hills, or go exploring, with her father.

Wait-

She couldn't hear the humming things anymore. Or maybe she could, but only if she turned her head to listen more closely. Yes, there it was: quiet, low-key, barely there, blended in with the other background sounds.

Marie slowed to a brisk walk and risked a glance around. The swarm that she had been so sure would engulf her at any moment was hanging back, seeming to avoid the tree stumps that punctuated this section of forest.

She was back at the troll graveyard.

Muggins had been afraid of the tree trolls, Marie remembered. So, was it possible that the fairies were too? It certainly looked that way. She stopped to catch her breath and leaned against a nearby stump, waking the troll inside.

'Excuse me?' the tree troll said with a disgruntled yawn, as one very well might upon being woken from a long and satisfying dream, to find a human child treating one's head as a perch. 'Would you please not do that?'

This wasn’t the same troll Marie had spoken to earlier, she realised, but it had the same rasping tone that put her in mind of a dying branch splitting from its parent bough. She also realised that at some point since their last encounter, she'd stopped thinking of the trolls as its, so much as thems.

'I'm sorry,' she said.

'Yes, yes. I dare say you are.' The troll sighed. 'Always sorry. Never not doing the thing to be sorry for.'

'I didn't mean to sit on you. It's just that I was being followed, you see, and then I wasn't, and then I needed to stop a minute to think, and then there you were.'

'There I was,' the troll echoed. He sounded as if he'd been through this a thousand times and was thoroughly over it. 'Just because something's there doesn't mean it's yours to do with however you please. Don't they teach you that where you're from? Stupid question. Course they don't. Else you wouldn't be here now, am I right?'

This troll was rather a lot grumpier than the one Marie had spoken to earlier. But then, she thought, she hadn't tried to sit on that last fella.

'I really am sorry.' The fight left her voice, the adrenaline surge wearing off. Marie felt she might for the first time that day shed a tear. Only out of exhaustion, mind you. Not sadness or anything like it.

The troll's face softened, and he gave the girl a moment before speaking again. 'They won't get you in here, child,' he said. 'Wouldn't dare. All fight, that lot, no stomach for reckoning. And believe me when I tell you, we're ready to reckon with those that planted us here. Overdue, that chat is. Long overdue.'

Marie fumbled with the journal she'd taken from the goblin. The sun was setting. Long shadows merged to usher in the evening dark. The gloaming, Marie thought. That's what her father would've called this time of day. The word always conjured in her something between sadness and dread.

But the feel of the book brought her some small measure of comfort. To know her father had held the same leather binding in his own broad, soft hands. That the words inside were his. It felt to Marie like the book was her very own shield, and the words contained inside bristled with magic.

The troll lowered his voice to a whisper. 'Calm yourself, little one. We'll get you back safe,' he said.

'You can't make promises like that. You don't know.'

'Oh, I can. And I do.'

'How? How do you know?' This happened to be something Marie had a considerable amount of experience with. At some point, she'd stopped allowing herself to be tricked by lies. And that's what unmet promises were: cleverly packaged lies.

'Because you have a token.'

From the blank look on the girl's face, it was clear to the troll that she didn't know about such things. He raised his brows and, in a peculiar move that would've sounded impossible had Marie not witnessed it firsthand, tilted his tree trunk head off to one side. 'The coin? In your bag?'

Marie drew a defensive elbow up to the side pocket of her backpack.

'The roots speak, child. We see even what we aren't there to see. Don't worry. The token is yours to use as you see fit. We have no cause to take it from you. Others, however, most certainly do. Guard it as you would your heart.'

'By use,' Marie said. 'You mean spend?'

'In a fashion.' A wry smile crunched across the bark of the tree troll's face. 'If you would think of it that way. But know that wish tokens can only be spent once. Careful what you choose to spend it on. There's powerful magic in those small coins. Queen's magic.'

Marie thought of the arcades at Whitby and Scarborough, and about the tokens her father would buy in rolls the size of Smartie tubes to drop in the slots and make the machines whir to life. She'd kept a few of them after their last visit to the seaside. Hidden them in a sock in her drawer. Every once in a while, she'd jangle them to summon the memory.

But a token with no place to use it was a pointless thing. Was one of these supposed wish tokens any different? Might she end up keeping it in her sock drawer with the other useless tat?

The troll seemed to be waiting for the girl to finish working through her thoughts. 'The well,' he said at last. 'If you're wondering where it belongs, it's in the well. The one near the gate. Guessing you passed it once already, yes?'

'I think so.' She remembered seeing something like that.

'Good. We can only get you as far as the furthest of us. Beyond that keep your eyes up and your feet forward. Those northern warmongers will no doubt be waiting for you somewhere along the path. The days of them letting folk leave of their own free will have passed, I'm afraid.'

Marie rubbed her eye with the heel of her palm. Ordinarily she'd be sitting down to supper about this time in the evening, her mother running a bath upstairs, folding her bedclothes back ready for her to climb in and go to sleep. Barbara would surely have noticed she was gone by now, Marie thought. Then again, maybe not.

'Through there,' the tree troll said, tipping his eyes to the side to indicate the woods behind. 'You'll find a place those nasty little bugs didn't burn. Take a while, read your book if you like, get your strength back before you head on. Follow my friends. They'll show you the way.'

Marie noticed then that a number of the other troll stumps had woken up and were blinking, yawning, some of them smiling. One troll had the remnants of a sapling branch attached, just below where the rest of the tree had been sawn off. He was waving the branch at her like an arm, ushering her over to him.

'Thank-you,' Marie said, to the troll with whom she'd been speaking. 'I'm really grateful for your help.

'Anytime, biggun.'

'And sorry again for sitting on you.'

But the troll only mumbled what could've been, don't worry about it, or similar, and closed his eyes.

These trolls sure did like their sleep, Marie thought, as she left the path and headed for the arm-waving tree stump.

[jeoniius]

hi !! for the request, can i have 26 + 27 w/ jungkook, fluff and college!au? hope you have fun writing !!!

Istg this was supposed to be tooth rotting fluffy before I got this idea and couldn't stop myself :). it's scary how i have an entire plotline for these two.

Kiss Me | jjk

Pairings: Jungkook × Reader

Genre: Fluff (with a teeny tiny hint of angst), college!au

Ratings: pg 13

Warning: mentions of alchohol, anxiety.

Wordcount: 1.3k

-

"So, I was thinking-"

"That's a first." you mumbled, shoving a piece of bread inside your mouth. 

"Shut up." Hoseok slapped your arm, taking the torn half of the said bread. "We should go to a club." 

"Seriously?" you turned around, facing him fully now. Mouth still full with bread, you tried to say "I am not going to a club, Hobi." 

"Wait. Listen to my plan." he held his hands up. You gave him a look and then motioned yours to let him continue. "Well, I don't have a plan exactly but you should we should go clubbing Y/N. It's been so long." 

"If you're trying to convince me then it's not working." you said, turning back to continue with your psychology thesis that is supposed to be submitted in a day. "I know. But like think about it, all of us are going to be there-"

"Hold up. You already asked everyone?" you say, concentration miraculously driving back to him. "I mean," he avoided your eyes, looking at the one boba piece which fell off earlier with great amusement. "I kinda hoped you'd say yes, if you heard everyone's going. You won't be alone, you know?"

"You know why I don't like clubbing, Hobi" you started, soon to get interrupted. "I know, I know. But that's why I'm not asking you to come alone. All our friends are gonna be there. Even Yoongi!" 

"Fine, I'll think about it" you huffed as he gave you a tigth side hug. 

-

"Ugh. I can't believe I'm doing this." you exasperated, dresses scattered all around you. "Hey, cheer up. You're gonna have fun, okay?" you heard your bestfriend through the speakers. "Thanks Leah." 

"And if you don't feel like it, tell me that second and I'll be at your service, ma'am" she said. "You don't have to do that. Let's just hope all goes well." 

Digging through your closet you finally found a club worthy dress, a black bodycon mid thigh spaghetti strapped dress, with sequins and subtle glitters all over it. Putting on the lightest makeup possible, you pulled your hair up in a sleek high ponytail, hair almost reaching your waist. "Okay, let's do this." you smiled at yourself through the mirror, red lips and hoops adding more to your look, as you nodded.

The club was just like you expected. You wouldn't say you weren't anxious from the minute you walked inside. The loud music and crowd making you wince, you pushed through them trying to locate your friends. You spotted Taehyung first, heart beating a little bit faster along with the previous anxiety, as you knew if Taehyung was here, so was his gorgeous bestfriend. 

Letting that thought go for a brief moment you searched for others, your eyes landing on them one by one. Yoongi sat at the lounge along with Namjoon, Seokjin, Yoora and Haneul. You saw Jimin at the bar with Taehyung and Hoseok, the latter flirting with a girl and although succeeding while the former duo laughing at him. You concluded some bet was going on within the three.

A little sad, you couldn’t see the one you were looking for, you heard a very familiar voice before getting pulled into a hug. "Y/N!!!" Leah screamed at your ears, pulling back with a big smile on her face. "Damn girl, you look hot." she looked you up and down. "Why are you surprised Leah? The entire campus thought Y/N was hot and that was when she was in sweats during finals." you saw a hand wrap around Leah's shoulder before you saw the face. 

Your heartbeat picked it's pace up as you saw Jungkook. Trying to calm your nerves, you gave him a smile. "Hi, Jungkook." 

"Hey, gorgeous." 

"I'm gonna let you two talk and go back to my Jinnie. Keep her busy, Jeon." Leah pushed his hands off her shoulder before winking at you and pointing her fingers at Jungkook. 

"Let's see. Never imagined I'd see you in a club." he said, guiding you towards the bar. You took a seat at the empty stool as Jungkook stood in between your legs. "Yeah. I wouldn't have come. Hobi insisted. A lot." you chuckled. 

To say you weren't feeling like throwing up was an understatement but Jungkook's presence made it a little bit better. After Jungkook gets pulled by Jimin and Namjoon in a conversation, then only your anxiety came back. Maybe a couple of drinks would help, you told yourself.

"Hey, can i have a whiskey on the rocks." you said to the bartender. You slid off the stool, standing on your feet and leaned towards the counter. "Hi, miss. Can I buy you a drink?" you heard a raspy voice from behind you, before you felt a hand slide up your waist. "No, thank you." you replied politely, pushing the hands off of your waist. 

"One wouldn't hurt, you know?" he continued. You closed your eyes, trying to calm your breathing. You definitely didn't wanna see his face. "I don't want one. I have order for myself." you said, voice shaky.

You could feel tears forming at the back of your eyes as the man continued to try and persuade you, hands caging you. Gripping his hands, you pushed him off, as you turned on your heels and walked out of the bar as soon as possible. You heard him coming behind you, before you heard a loud crash. Not turning around to watch the scene unfold, you ran out of the club. 

Holding onto one of the walls outside, you panted, as you tried to calm yourself, tears falling effortlessly. "Hey, hey" you failed to recognize the familiarity of the voice, flinching when you felt a hand grab your forearms. "It's me, Jungkook."

You looked up at him, failing to notice the blood on his knuckles, before breaking down into sobs as he pulled you to his chest. His arms went around you shoulders, your head tucked in his chest and you cried to him. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have left." he patted your head as you continued to cry. 

-

"I'm sorry. I ruined your shirt." you sniffled, looking at him through the club's bathroom mirror as you tried to get of the mascara streams from your cheeks. "It's no problem. The black lines add a bling to it." he chuckled looking you. 

You both stared at each other, a comforting silence engilfing you. "I didn't mean to cry. I have a bad history at night clubs. It all came back to me you know?" you said, looking at him through the mirror. "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry, Y/N." he stepped closer to you. Throwing the tissue in the trashcan you turned towards him. Before you could protest, he beat you to it. "Hey, I'm with you, okay? Always." he said, thumb caressing you cheeks. 

"You wanna dance?" he asked, one hand extended  , waiting for you to take it. "Sure." You took his hand. He smiled at both your linked hands before pulling you closer. 

You both made your way to the dance floor, a soft number starting on time. You fake gasped before narrowing your eyes at him. "Do you have magic powers? How'd you know they were gonna play this song?" 

He laughed, going along with you. "Magic powers are supposed to be a secret, Miss Y/L/N. If i tell you, it won't be a secret, now would it?" Pulling you close towards him, he wrapped his hands around your waste while you around his shoulders. 

"Why? Scared, I'll tell everyone?" you smiled, fingers playing with his hair. He leaned his head back, eyes closed before looking back at you, face inches away from your own. "Wouldn't want anyone to know." he whispered. 

"Kiss me." you whispered back, 

He smiled before capturing your lips, all your anxiety fading away as he did. 

[moonshineboyz]

Sweet Dare || Eric Sohn

Pairing: sub!Eric x dom!fem reader

Genre: Smut, college house party

Word Count: 3.8k

Warnings: mention of alcohol, dry hump, slight handjob, tiny bit of choking, unprotected sex

masterlist ♡

“Truth or dare, Y/N/?” Your friend asked holding back a smug smile.

“Dare.” You didn't think much of it, already tired of being in that situation. Moreover, it was just a stupid game, it couldn't be something that bad... right?

“I dare you...” She thought tapping an index finger on her chin, looking around the circle of people sitting on the floor quietly waiting with anxious eyes. “… To sit on Eric’s lap. Like, kinda dry humping, you know?” Your eyes widened at that, a visible teasing smirk on her face now.

“What?” You scoffed. “No way I'm doing this. Not at all.” You shook your head, furrowed brows. There wasn't a minimal possibility in you doing such a thing with your friend.

You looked over at Eric, his eyes just as widened as yours, glued on the bottle in the center. Not that you thought he wasn't good looking or something of the sort, it's just that it felt weird, he was your friend after all and you couldn't think it'd be a good idea. Even though a little spark of curiosity ignited within you, but you decided to ignore.

“You're no fun.” Your friend faked a pout and giggled. “Okay, so... truth: would you sit on Eric's lap and dry hump him?” You just stared at her, not knowing why the hell she insisted in picking Eric out of all the other people in there. There was absolutely nothing between you two other than a friendship, and you were starting to worry that things would get awkward with him.

“Jesus fucking Christ, of course not.” You stated sternly rolling your eyes at the end. “Okay, next.” You quickly stretched out your arm to spin the bottle so the game could continue.

Not even waiting for the bottle to stop spinning, you got up on your feet and excused yourself saying that you needed to use the bathroom. You glared over at Eric and saw the lingering shock mixed with embarrassment in his face. You made eye contact with him for a millisecond and turned to the door, leaving the room that was filled with giggles once more.

As you closed the door behind you, your ears were welcomed again by the loud music coming from downstairs, questioning why you'd agreed on going to a house party. You made your way towards the bathroom down the hall, trying not to bump into some random drunk bodies and couples making out.

A sigh of relief left your lips as soon as you locked the door. Coming near the mirror, you noticed how your eyes were starting to get red due to the tiredness accumulated from the week. You needed to go home in that instant if you wanted to get some sleep and be able to get up early next morning. “Fuck projects on Saturdays.” You thought to yourself.

You turned on the faucet and wet your nape a bit in an attempt to refresh yourself. Looking back in the mirror while fixing some strands of your hair, a thought came back into your mind, what if you had accepted that dare? How would it had felt like? How Eric would feel like against you? You got surprised by your own mind, especially by the last question. You shook your head as if to clear your mind and get these weird thoughts away.

Getting out of the bathroom, you went straight into the kitchen, willing to have one last glass of juice or soda before going home, to which you thanked heavens for being able to find a second option to drink since you weren't having alcohol. You filled yourself a cup of orange juice, happy not to see many people in this part of the house, them being too focused on getting more drinks and some snacks, so you wouldn't have to engage in an unwanted small talk with any of them. As you were looking out the window, lost in your own thoughts about the project you had to do, a familiar voice called you.

“Y/N! Noona, I was looking for you!” You turned to see your pink haired friend coming your way. “I wanted to talk to you.”

You nodded signaling for him to continue. “Yeah? What is it?”

“Hmm, are you, perhaps... by any chance... mad at me?” Eric asked hesitantly, expression on his face telling you he was afraid of your answer.

“What? No! Why would I?” You chuckled lightly.

“Because of... that dare?” He more asked than answered you and you raised your brows. You slightly cursed at this topic being brought up in your mind again.

Waving your hands as in a “no” motion to calm his worries you said: “No, no, it's okay. It's not even you who dared me.” You offered a kind smile. “And you?” Eric tilted his head and looked at you a little puzzled, you chuckled again. “Are you mad at me? I mean, I'm sorry I said that in a rude way, I didn't mean to. It's just that it weirded me out and... you know, we're friends...”

“Yeah, I understand. And I'm not mad at you either.” You nodded at his words and looked out the window once more to avert his gaze, and in that, you missed the way his cheeks got rosy. “So... we're good?”

“Yeah, we're good.” You smiled up at him reassuringly. You finished your juice in one last gulp and placed the glass back on the counter top. “I think that's enough partying for me tonight.”

“You're leaving already?” Even though it was just a tiny bit, it was visible the sadness in his eyes.

“I'm getting sleepy and bored.” You shrugged. “How are you going home?”

“Actually, I was supposed to leave with Sunwoo and sleep at his place because we have training tomorrow. But I bet he's too busy making out with someone right now.” He let out a small airy laugh.

“Well, you can sleep at mine. I think there's still a pair of your clothes from the last sleepover we had.”

Eric looked at you and then at the floor, debating with himself whether or not he should take your offer. “Are you sure? I don't want to bother you I can-”

“It's alright, I also have to go to the campus in the morning so we can go together. Plus, my house is closer to campus than Sunwoo's.” He gave you a wide smile deciding to leave the party with you. “Have you drunk?” You watched as he slowly shook his head mumbling something about just having soda all night. “Good, so you're driving.” You said tossing him your car keys and walking to the front door, ready to leave the house.

“Wait, really?” He took hurried steps to get beside you, eyes ten times bigger as he asked. You giggled at his cuteness, fighting the urge to pinch his cheek.

“Just because I'm tired and you need to practice.”

“Wow, thank you, noona! You're the best!” Eric smiled bigger than ever.

“Yeah, yeah, just don't crash my car and don't try to kill us.” You rolled your eyes jokingly at him strongly nodding all excited. He was like a puppy.

Eric was always like that, following you around, giggly and energetic saying how nice he thought you were and how he liked to spend time with you. Sometimes you found he resembled a little kid, with sparkly eyes and talking in a rushed manner gesturing his hands. And when you laughed at anything he said, he'd open the biggest smile turning his eyes into crescent moons.

You had such a soft spot for him.

It was hard not to, actually. He constantly tried to show how much he cared for you, listening and supporting you when you needed it. Never wanting to bother or disappoint you in any way.

In the calm ride back to your house, you kept giving Eric some directions on where to turn, since he didn't know that neighborhood very well. When you got to a more known route and he didn't need more instructions, your mind began to wander. The thoughts of him being a sweet nice friend now giving space to the ones about how he could be so determined and focused. And damn, you just noticed how hot he looked when focused and serious like that.

You could tell by his stiff body that he was a little bit nervous in driving someone else's car, but you thought it just added to the hotness. His perfect side profile and sharp jaw line, eyebrows slightly furrowed. Your eyes traveled from his soft pinkish lips to his arms and the way they flexed as he grabbed the steering wheel, making you gulp at the sight. You quickly glanced from his chest to his thighs and turned your head to look at the road in front of you, cursing at how you were thinking about your dear friend.

Not much time later you arrived home and Eric parked your car perfectly, turning to you with an expecting expression waiting for some sort of feedback.

“You did great, really. Just need to remember to turn the headlights off.”

“Oh, right! Sorry.” He widened his eyes noticing the light reflecting ahead of the car and you chuckled.

As soon as you both stepped inside, you made your way to your own room, telling Eric he could take a shower first if he wanted and his mentioned pair of clothes was in the spare room. You started moving around grabbing the stuff needed for the project next morning, too distracted that you didn't even notice Eric anxiously standing at your door until he called you.

“Noona, I know you're tired but can we talk? I need to get this off my chest.” Worry and a tint of fear were written all over his face. You hummed and signaled him to take a seat on your bed, following him when he did. The boy closed his eyes taking in a deep breath. “Listen, I'm really sorry. It's just that I don't know what to do, I shouldn't but I can't stop thinking about it and it's driving me crazy-”

“About what exactly, Eric?” You cut him off, feeling anxious at him beating around the bush.

He dropped his head and closed his eyes shut, one hand intertwining fingers with the other, knuckles white from the strength he was applying. “Earlier. The dare. I wished y-... I-I just got curious ab- I'm sorry, please don't be mad at me.” He wanted to curl himself up out of embarrassment, waiting for you scold him.

But instead, your eyes grew bigger and your heart started racing. You had no idea he'd be thinking about this like you were and honestly, you found it interesting. With butterflies in your stomach, you touched his shoulder softly calling out his name saying you weren't mad, which made him look up at you but not raising his head, too afraid you'd get angry. “You want to try it?”

He sat up straight surprised at your question, avoiding your eyes. “N-no, you don't have to, I just needed to-”

“I'm asking if you want to. It's okay.” You gave his knee a gentle squeeze and it was like the air got knocked out of his lungs when he slightly nodded and said “yes” in a small voice. Cheeks immediately getting flushed, you smirked at that.

You pointed your finger, indicating Eric to sit a little further on the bed, leaning his back on the headboard and you wasted no time in straddling him. Your heart was pounding so much as you looked deep into his eyes, sensing the nervousness, so you leaned in closer and whispered in his ear for him to relax. Deciding that you needed to make him relax yourself, you planted a kiss on his jaw to which he inhaled deeply and you could see his skin already getting goosebumps, softening his body.

You ran your fingers through his soft pink locks and tugged lightly at it, to make him give you more access to the skin. Trailing open mouthed kisses down his neck you left a hickey and Eric gasped when he felt your tongue tracing the mark you just made, bucking up his hips. You felt him getting hard and started to move your hips in a circular motion, but in a languid rhythm, making him shudder with the increasing arousal, added to the way he'd been thinking about you all night since that stupid game. And the fact that he had you right there in his lap but still couldn't get satisfied made him groan in frustration, growing needier by the second.

“This needy already, baby?” A hearty chuckle left your lips. “You can touch me.” You whispered noticing how his hands were gripping the bedsheets and Eric immediately grabbed your hips, trying to pull you closer to his crotch.

“Noona~ hmm stop teasing,I-” He got cut off, breath hitching when you repositioned yourself to better align your already throbbing core to his hard cock. Grinding down onto him, Eric sucked his bottom lip between his teeth to hold back a moan, but let out a small whimper.

“Don't hide your moans, baby, I want to hear you.” You lowered your face to suck on the sweet spot of his neck, causing him to moan and grab your hips harder. “That's better.” You smiled leaving wet kisses on his skin and raking his scalp, to which the boy whined. You applied more force to the friction, seeing him writhe underneath you and finding sinfully beautiful the way he furrowed his brows with eyes closed and breathed heavily, groaning in a low tone.

You looked at his lips, slightly swollen by the biting to hold his noises and you felt the urge to taste them. Both your hands went to each side of his jaw holding his face, you leaned in closer and let your lips brush over his, softly at first, finally clashing at them when he didn't pull away. You inhaled in deeply, feeling lightheaded with the new sensation.

Eric's hands timidly caressed your thighs, but grabbed the flesh strongly the moment you licked his bottom lip and caught it between your teeth, gently nibbling at it. Your tongue soon met his and you felt shockwaves run down your spine. The kiss felt like heaven but with a tint of something lustful and vicious, just like a sweet but strong wine. And you were more than willing to get drunk on it.

The make out was messy and sloppy, filled with heavy breaths and small whimpers. You never stopped moving your hips and by the way Eric was starting to shake, digging his nails into your skin, you guessed he was close. You thought of letting him come undone just like that, but decided on something better.

You pulled away, taking in at the blushed cheeks and dazed look on his face up close and hop out of the bed. His confused expression asking why you left him like that, right on the edge of his release.

“What? I'm giving you something better instead of letting you cum in your pants.” You chuckled and he blushed harder. “Now take your clothes off, baby.”

You watched his trembling hands slide his pants off of him together with the underwear and get rid of his shirt. You stared at his beautiful naked body laying there on your bed, patiently waiting for your next move. The tip of his dick was angry red, twitching and dripping precum onto his abdomen as you slowly unbuckled the belt of your high waisted shorts. His eyes were glued on you, hungrily scanning your body and cursing under his breath about how hot you were.

“N-noona, you're so beautiful.” Eric shifted in his place, wanting you to touch him again.

Staying only in your black and red bra, you walked up back to the bed and sat on Eric's thighs, lightly scratching his abs and making him shudder. You wrapped one hand around his cock and smeared the leaking precum with your thumb, gaining a gasp from him. You pumped him slowly but with a tight grip, gyrating your wrist. The other hand sneaked up to his neck, fingers closing around it putting just a small pressure.

“Will you be good to me?” He nodded. “Use your words, honey.” You purred, voice like satin and a faint smirk playing on your lips.

The boy gulped and you felt it against your palm. “I-I'll be good, noona, I promise.”

You smiled mischievously pumping his shaft for a few more seconds before standing on your knees to straddle him in a better position. Your cunt was aching to clench around something, wetter than you've ever been.

With one hand you held on Eric's shoulder and the other guided his cock to your entrance, rubbing the tip on your folds at first and circling your clit, making you both jolt a little due to the sensitivity. You played like that a bit more and sank onto him, feeling him stretching you out and let out a broken moan. “You feel so good, baby.”

You trailed your tongue on the side of his neck, taking in the saltiness of the thin layer of sweat that was starting to form on the skin and rotated your hips teasingly, he was stuffing you so good you rolled your eyes.

His knuckles turned white from the strong hold in your waist as if you were going to disappear. He thrust up, whining as he reached deeper inside you, your pussy so tight around him. Just by the way he started panting looking at you half lidded eyes, you knew he wasn't going to last long, and to be honest neither were you.

“Be good and stay still.” You said with lust dripping from your words like they were pure venom.

You lifted your hips just to sink back down onto Eric, setting a lazy rhythm just to last a little longer and enjoy the feeling of his cock massaging your inner walls.

“C-can I kiss you?” The boy asked in a husky voice, letting out a moan in the end and you couldn't say no. You pulled him closer by the back of his head crashing your lips together and kissing hard. He whimpered into the kiss when your nails raked his nape and you took the opportunity to slide your tongue inside his mouth, swirling it around his till he pulled away heavily breathing. “Please, can I touch you more?”

You smiled to yourself, seeing how eagerly your friend seemed to want you and that made you want to tease him a little more. “What's that? You like fucking your noona, hm?” Your hand caressed his flushed cheek, thumb tracing the outline of his lips. “Tell me, baby, you wanted this so much, didn't you? Have you thought about it?” He squirmed biting his bottom lip and shyly nodded.

“Noona, please, can I touch you?” Eric repeated his question, hands itching to travel up your body to touch your breasts but you shook your head, telling him to just keep his hands on your waist or he wouldn't get nothing at all. But he could kiss it though, to which he quickly started littering kisses all over your collarbones and chest, biting onto the soft skin.

The pace of your hips increased, bouncing on his cock and letting out soft moans and dirty praises. “What a good boy. You're so obedient, baby.” He was indeed being so good to you, but it was so hard to keep his hips in place or not to use his hands to explore your body. Your hand pulled his hair to make him look up, while the other went to wrap around his throat, making his jaw drop, eyes fluttering shut. “Think I should reward you more often. What do you think, would you like that?” You scratched his abdomen again, earning a husky 'please' from him.

You started riding him in a desperate rhythm making him go even deeper, nails digging into his shoulders, his dick hitting the right spot inside you each time your hips met, to which your vision blurred, finding hard to keep your eyes open. A knot was forming at the pit of your stomach and you could already feel your release at your fingertips.

Everything felt just too much for the poor boy, amazingly too much. He was so overwhelmed by the feeling of being swallowed by your warm wet cunt and the way you looked like a goddness while riding him so good, calling him baby was making him almost lose his sanity.

“Y/N ngh- noona... shit-” Eric cried out, your walls contracting so deliciously that he couldn't help but to spill himself to the very last drop inside you, cumming while he repeated your name as if it was the only thing he knew. You drank in the way he threw his head back rolling his eyes.

“Fuck, you look so cute when you cum, baby.” You tried to maintain a steady voice but it came out shaky by how his cock was twitching. Your body began to spasm, never stopping your erratic moves to chase your own climax, with hips stuttering.

All the tension built up in your entire body snapped like electricity spreading under the skin and you bit down onto the crook of Eric’s neck to muffle your moans when you came around him, clenching so much it made him arch his back. Huffing and puffing you sloppily undulated your hips to come down from your high, prolonging the feeling of tremors running through your body.

You collapsed resting your forehead on his shoulder trying to catch your breath and when you did, you slowly slid him out of you making him sigh and started to leave butterfly kisses on the boy’s neck where you had left marks earlier to which he chuckled.

“And you wanted to go home because you were tired.” He said jokingly and you blew air from your nose lifting your head to stare at him.

“And I was! But someone was needy.” You teased back. “Now guess we’re gonna be late in the morning.” Your finger pointed at the clock on the nightstand stating that was already past 1am.

Eric shrugged, looking up at you with lazy hooded eyes, a faint blush on the cheeks complimenting his slightly swollen lips and a little bit of hair sticking to his forehead. His skin was glowing. “I don’t mind, it’s already worth it.” You thought you saw a different spark into his eyes, different from the looks he gave you all night, this was a hungrier one.

[randominagines]

A Bucky X Fem!reader in which he's overwhelmed by bad memories and he slightly hurts her by mistake, obviously making himself wonder if he can really be next to her

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X Fem!reader

Setting: pre FATWS

Warning: a lot of angst, hurt\confort, mostly fluff but with a pinch of smut

P.s. if you find any mistake please correct me, English is not my mother tongue and I want to improve. Reblog, if you can, it helps a lot, thank you💕

P.p.s. gifs belong to the creators

Vibranium

Y/n was washing dishes and listening to music, her body moving while she was softly singing the song coming from the TV. She was in a very good mood that day because it was saturday and she couldn't wait for her boyfriend Bucky to come back home to enjoy the weekend with him. She put down the last glass and closed the tap. She did a pirouette following the rythm, she used to act silly when she was home alone, while walking toward the bathroom to wash her hands. She looked herself in the mirror: her y/h/c hair were slightly messy so she brushed them with her hands and her face looked relaxed. Her shirt was a bit wet because she forgot to use an apron and she realised that she was still wearing the bottom of her pajamas. She smiled thinking about the fact that she was going to put something sexy on, she wanted to spend a lovely evening with Bucky. Before she could walk toward her room, she heard the familiar noise of the keys turning in the main entrance door.

Bucky slowly opened the door and walked in, his eyes tired and his expression unequivocally sad. It was a tough day for him: December 16th was a tragedy every year. It reminded him of everything bad he had done and been during the period in which he was the Winter Soldier. The anniversary of the death of Tony's parents was still a sore spot for him. He had been filled with anxiety all day long, trying to think about something, anything, else. In the end, the only thought that managed to give him some peace was the idea of coming back home to his lovely girlfriend.

Y/n was comprehensive, kind, smart and the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. Sometimes he used to wonder how could he had been so lucky to find such an angel. She was his clarity during the difficult moments and his absolute happiness all the time; since she arrived in his life she thaught him how to enjoy the good moments and overcome the bad ones, as well. That day, he was feeling extremely nervous and torn, so he just wanted to be with y/n.

She didn't immediately noticed his bad humor: she walked to him, her arms wrapping around his torso. "Baby, you came back earlier." She said while caressing his back. He held her tight and gave her a quick kiss on her forehead, her scent filling his nose: he felt immediately a bit better. "Yes, doll, I wanted to be with you." He said trying to sound and act normal, but she noticed something was off. She raised an eyebrow and scanned him, her y/e/c eyes stuck into his deep blue eyes. " Is something wrong, Buck?" She sweetly asked while caressing his cheek; he gave her a not very convincing smile and took her hand to kiss it. "No, y/n, I'm just tired." He lied.

Y/n frowned, she knew her boyfriend: of course there was something else, but she didn't love to push him. She knew Bucky was sometimes complicated, and that he was not always able to tell her exactly how he felt, he needed time and comprehension in order to feel free to open up. She nodded and decided to do something to improve his mood without making him feel forced to tell her what was exactly happening, he would have done it as soon as he was ready to. She took his hand and pulled him toward the kitchen. "I'll cook something for you, it's almost dinner time. Something you like, what do you think?" She asked while giving him a quick kiss and taking a pot.

He shook his head and turned off the TV while she opened the fridge. "No babe, I'm not hungry at all, plus, I don't want to bother you." He said and looked at her, but she was already pulling out things from the fridge. "My love, you never bother me. I'm happy to do something to make you feel better." She said while filling the pot with water: she was going to make pasta.

He crossed his arms over his chest. "Let it go, babe." He repeated: she looked at him while putting the salt down, her expression a bit disappointed. "Are you sure? I have no problems..." She tried to say while grabbing a spoon but she stopped because Bucky suddenly took her wrist with his vibranium arm. He looked at her, his eyes totally not threatening but his voice firm. "I said, let it go." He said. He didn't sound brusque or aggressive but she winced, because of his grip. She looked down at his metal hand on her wrist, then she slowly looked at him with such a sweetness in her eyes. "Buck, baby, you're hurting me." She whispered with all the delicacy in the world.

A mix of emotions crossed his face: he initially frowned, not understanding how possibly could he be hurting her, then he realized. He widened his eyes and immediately left her wrist, moving his vibranium arm back as if he wanted to put it as far as possible from her. He caressed her cheek with the other hand. "Shit, doll, I'm so sorry, I didn't realize that..." He tried to say, his eyes getting watery. She shook her head and put her hands on his chest while looking at him. "Buck, it's fine, I'm okay." She said, her tone calming.

He took her wrist and noticed it: the red mark left by his fingers was already visible on her skin. He cursed inside, an incredible anger toward himself growing in his guts. She looked at him and realized that something inside of him broke: his blue eyes were filled with sadness and regret and his fingers were shaking while tracing the mark on her wrist.

She put her hands on his cheeks and made him look at her. "Buck, I know what you're doing: stop doing it. Don't think you're dangerous or that you're going to hurt me again because it's not like that. It was just a distraction, it never happened before." She tried to reassure him, he looked at her but his eyes were lost.

"What if it happens again? I hurt you, y/n, I just hurt the only person in this world who means everything to me. I don't know if you're safe next to me. I'm having a bad day, a bad moment and I forgot how to control my strength, that's not okay." He said, his voice almost a whisper. She shook his head and caressed him, her touch gentle on his skin. "Baby, please, you never meant to hurt me." She said and tried to hug him. He took a step back, his eyes stuck into hers. "But I did it." He said and a tear ran down his face.

She looked at him and felt the desire to do something to change the way he was thinking about himself in that moment, but she knew that he needed space right now. She tried to hold back her tears while he walked toward the door. "I need to be alone." He said while grabbing his jacket, she nodded and squeezed her own arms as to comfort herself. "I know, be careful." She said while he opened the door. He nodded, sadness drawn all over his face. "I'm sorry, I love you." He whispered before leaving. The sudden total silence was broken only by her sobbing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bucky was sad. He had been walking around for hours trying to think straight. He had no idea what to do: he was incredibly mortified for what happened, he couldn't stop thinking about the way she had gasped when he grabbed her, and even though her eyes had not showed any signs of fear that didn't change the fact that he had hurt her. It was probably not a big deal to her, but it was to him: he had been not in control of that fucking arm for a second and he couldn't underestimate that. "What if it happens again and you seriously injury her the next time?" He thought while walking into his house. He growled while covering his face with both of his hands, desperately trying to remove from his mind the sickening image of his beautiful, amazing girlfriend hurt because of him. Suddenly he heard a noise coming from his bedroom: y/n used to move a lot in her sleep when she was not calm and the sound of the sheets was the confirmation that she was not sleeping peacefully.

Bucky slowly opened the bedroom's door and walked in. The curtains were opened and the moonlight was caressing y/n's naked legs, her skin almost shining in that light. He quickly removed his clothes, trying not to wake her up, and put the bottom of his pajamas on. He looked at her: she was hugging his pillow, her face buried in it and the sheets wrapped around her torso. Her hair were drawing figures on the pillow and her hands were squeezing the fabric. She had probably woken up many times, she used to do it when Bucky was not next to her.

He sat on the bed and gently caressed her shoulder, his vibranium arm still kept away from her. "I love you." He whispered while kissing her forehead. He stood up and decided to go sleep on the couch, he was even afraid to be next to her, but he felt her hand grabbing his. "Babe?" She asked while sitting up, her eyes squeezing to bring him into focus. He caressed her hand. "Sorry for waking you up; I just wanted to check on you. Go back to sleep, doll, I'll be on the couch." He whispered and she looked at him, her expression sad. "You can stay, if you want." She said while giving him a quick kiss on his shoulder. Her gentle lips on his bare skin sent shivers down his spine: he was still getting used to be touched with such a delicacy. He looked at her. "I want to stay, but..." He said and looked at his vibranium arm. She put a finger under his chin and made him raise his eyes, her thumb caressing his lower lip. "It's okay, you're not going to hurt me." She whispered and he shook his head. "How can you be sure?" He asked, he looked torn.

The moonlight made his blue eyes even more intense. She gently touched his vibranium arm: he gasped but did not oppose. She smiled. "Because I know you and I know that you would never do something bad to me. What happened tonight was a one time thing and I trust you completely, I wish you could trust yourself too, my love." She whispered, her voice sweet. He nodded while laying down, his human arm hugging her and pulling her closer. She rested her head on his shoulder and hugged him back, her fingers drawing figures on his bare chest. She kissed his collarbone, his skin was warm and his body was still a bit tensed up, even the position of his vibranium arm showed how nervous he was, Bucky was keeping it on the bed and not touching her with it. She looked at him. "Do you want to talk to me about what is making you so sad about today?"

She gently asked: she normally wouldn't have done that but she thought that maybe talking about his sorrow was what he really needed in that moment. Bucky took a deep breath but decided to open up completely: he told her about his mission, on December 16th, 1991. He told her what he did and how he was completely brainwashed. She knew a lot of things about the Winter Soldier but she was aware of the facts, not of the feelings. He explained to her what happened with Steve and Tony as soon as the truth came out. He didn't let out a single dettail, telling her everything about how the memory of that particular mission made him feel completely destroyed, like he had never really forgiven himself for all the deaths and sorrow he caused.

Y/n listened to him without interrupting, her hands never stopped caressing him as to make him understand that she was there, just next to him, and she wasn't going to leave him. He looked at her, his eyes watery. "I sometimes feel like I'm still that monster and this arm is a reminder of what I've been, the worst version of me, and today this arm was responsible for hurting you. But that's just another lie, isn't it? It's me. I'm the problem, not the arm." He concluded, his expression a mix of anger and pain.

She looked at him, her eyes stuck into his, and caressed his cheek. "Bucky, babe, I can't fix what happened in your past. I wish I could travel back in time and spare all of that sorrow to you. I wish I could protect you from your bad memories, from your dark moments, from your mind itself. I wish I could make you forget, but I can't. I don't have the power to change your past, but something else I can do: I can be next to you and help you face it. Do not hate your arm, it's part of you and even if you were forced to do horrible things with it you've also protected billions of people thanks to it, fighting for our world to be saved from Thanos," she said while caressing it. "Do not hate yourself, because you never had a choice, you never wanted to kill, to hurt, to cause any pain. You've been through so much and yet, here you are, trying your best to be a better person. I love you for who you are, I fell in love with every single shade of you. You're not a monster, Buck, you're a good person who has lived bad things. Give yourself credits for that." She concluded, her hand running through his hair. He caressed her back and hugged her, his face buried in the crook of her neck.

They stayed like that for an indefinite amount of time, she perceived his tears on her shoulder and caressed his head. "You always see my humanity in a sea of regrets and anger." He suddenly whispered and placed a soft kiss on her shoulder, she smiled. "What I see, baby, is a big heart and an adorable pout." She joked while moving her head back to look at him; his lips curved imperceptibly while hugging her and she caressed his chest. "See? Everything is just okay." She said raising and eyebrow and looking at his vibranium arm, now gently wrapped around her body. He looked at it too and his whole body relaxed, trusting himself again. "I'm sorry, you were in such a good mood, I just screwed everything." He apologized while caressing her back, she shook her head. "It's okay, I am in a good mood again now that you're next to me." She said and her hand ran through his hair.

He kissed her, his lips delicate on hers and his tongue searching for hers. She parted her lips and pulled him closer, his bare chest now attached to hers, she could perceive his heartbeat against her body. He moved her under his body, her legs opening to make space for him. He kept kissing her while caressing her face, she was now laying under his body and her hands were slightly scratching his shoulders. She perceived his muscles moving under her fingers and smiled on his lips. "What is it?" He asked still on her lips, his vibranium arm now caressing her head. "Nothing, it's just, I love your body, babe." She genuinely confessed while her hands travelled from his shoulders to his chest. He chuckled but bit his lower lip while looking at her, the sweetness leaving his eyes to be replaced by desire.

He looked at her, her shirt covering her torso but her legs and stomach completely exposed to his sight. He caressed her waist and she immediately felt her own lust growing inside of her. He obviously noticed it because of the way she moved, as to invite him to touch her more. "You can't imagine how much I want you right now, y/n." He whispered and grinned, all of the tension and sadness of that night finally tossed aside. She blushed a bit but smirked to him, her fingers now tracing figures on his pectorals. "Well, prove it to me." She whispered, her lips near his ear.

He immediately felt filled with lust and put that desire in the look he gave to her, his hands already caressing her legs. He kissed her, this time with such a passion that their lips crushed against each other. His mouth was demanding and his hands delicate but firm on her body. He removed her shirt and her panties and scanned her body while licking his lip, his eyes truly worshipping her.

"Good Lord, y/n, you're gorgeous... you'll be the death of me." He whispered, his voice deep. She caressed the back of his head and smiled. "Babe, I want you." She said, her legs wrapping around his waist. He smiled mischievously. "I'm yours, doll." He said before kissing her again.

[yoonpobs]

we don't talk together | myg

pairing: min yoongi x oc

genre: angst, hurt/comfort, growth! exes that remain exes

words: 2, 842

summary: it's hard to say it's over

What they don't tell you about goodbyes is that it isn't the end.

It's far from the closing of a book. Goodbyes are the itch that urges you to pick up an old book from the shelf just to feel what you first felt when you re-read certain parts of a book; the same remorse you felt when a character you grew attached to didn't get the ending they deserved. Or, maybe it was the villain that was misunderstood—your own heart wishing to reach out to the sad soul that couldn't even be recognised when all they do is speak.

But some books will end up dusty, forgotten, tucked away in the corner of your shelf; or in the most drastic of cases: lost.

"The park looks ... different," Yoongi speaks up for a lack of a better conversation starter.

You hum. What would you say? That it wasn't the same from when we used to spend our Spring's blended into Summer's until it got too hot for us to lay in each other's embrace?

It was still too fresh even though it's been nearly a year.

"There are more dogs," You point out the moment a tan pomeranian runs past the two of you, the owner an old couple laughing away under the cherry blossoms.

He nods, fingers stuffed in his trench coat. You note that it's the same one he wore on your anniversary, plans abandoned when there was a mix-up with the reservations until the two of you stumbled across a hidden gem that soon became your go-to date place.

You will yourself to look away so no more memories can resurface. It seems like every part of your life has somehow seamlessly intertwined itself with traces of Yoongi that it was impossible for you to exist as just yourself.

"How are things at the firm?" He asks after the two of you walked side-by-side in complete silence as more and more chatter fill your ears.

"It's ... going," You chuckle dryly.

Yoongi raises an eyebrow at you, shooting you a brief glance over until the two of you reach a bench. You dare say it's muscle memory that dragged your heavy feet into the direction of the only bench that you've known in the park. The compressed reminder of the initials of your names that you carved as teenagers likely still staining the years old wood. It was meant to be an emblem for wisdom, the ring of growth that meant to be the endgame for the two of you.

You almost laugh in bitterness and how literal the metaphor was.

"Everything okay?"

Yoongi takes the first step to sit on the bench because he always did. Ever the gentlemen when he opened doors for you, let you into the car first, waited until you stepped ahead of him to trail behind like a shield.

The first date, first kiss, first confession.

The first one to decide that it was over.

"My boss is just being sexist, as usual. I thought I'd get used to it after spending two years there but ... there are some things that you just stay unfamiliar, you know?"

It was very like you to speak in double-entendres without intending to. But it was also like Yoongi to pick up on it, especially after years of learning all the best and worst parts of you; he was and probably will be one of the few people in your lives that will always foresee your next move.

The two of you sit a fair distance apart on the bench even if it was a battle for space anyway. You didn't have the liberty to lean into his embrace anymore and he wasn't in the position to say that it was okay for you to breathe, to relax.

"You shouldn't get used to those remarks. There are times where you learn to grow used to constructive criticism but if what he's saying makes you question your worth because of very arbitrary reasons like your gender then that isn't criticism, nor is it constructive. It's bigoted and chauvinistic."

You look down to your thumbs as you fiddle with it, his words comforting you. It was woeful that you still chased validation from him even after learning to be that person to yourself.

"Yeah, I guess."

Then how did you get used to things?

If time didn't make things familiar then what did? Was it not the five years with Yoongi that led you to see him build an empire for himself all the while destroying the relationship that you had? Or was it because he was the person that you thought of doing the most minuscule things?

"By the way," He clears his throat, eyes still set forward, "Namjoon says hi."

You raise an eyebrow, surprised to hear the name of a mutual friend—or more appropriately, friend by association and acquaintance when that link was broken.

"He knows that you're with me?"

Yoongi nods his head.

"I needed to let someone at the studio know and ... well, he's the only one that knew of our situation."

You chuckle bitterly.

Of course. The suggestion of his work only made your heart drop because as much as you wanted to be supportive of him, even after the break-up, the name of his studio or songs only reminded you of the battle that you helplessly lost.

"You can tell him that I'm still a text or phone call away. No need to play messenger," You return.

The atmosphere is more reflective than awkward. You know that the two of you had your pieces to say, your own narrative to tell but neither brave enough to break the calm that you were settled in. It was a nice difference from the way that things ended, and you supposed that you were similar enough to believe in a mirage than the inevitable truth.

But you didn't call him out after six months to sit in silence to walk away with your heart feeling heavier, nor did you invite him out just to remember what it feels like to have him next to you—even in complete silence.

"Would you have really quit?"

This time, you gather all the bravery that you've built over the past few months to ask the question that has been mulling in your mind since the night you decided that it was officially over.

It was a painful break-up. Even if you expected it when Yoongi came home earlier one night with bags under his eyes and his keys that he usually left at the studio because he knew you'd always be home to open the door for him.

"I'm sorry?" He seems taken aback.

You don't blame him. You've always been more passive in dealing with confrontation due to your conflict-averse nature—but that didn't mean you didn't get angry or annoyed—or hurt. But if you learned anything, it was to stop asking yourself questions that you'll never have the answer to.

"Would you really have left the company to save our relationship?"

You chose your words carefully. Instead of saying to be with you, knowing that he lost the love, he had for you somewhere along the way—you point out the one hole that he held on to for the sake of stability. The one thing that was constant in his life with how unpredictable the music industry was.

"Yes."

Somehow, the answer doesn't make you feel better because even with time apart you knew he was lying to save your face.

"You don't owe me anything to lie to my face, Yoongi." You frown.

Yoongi sighs, rubbing his hands across his face as he leaves your statement hanging in the air to mull over his answer.

You prefer the silence that way. It showed that he was at least listening, or cared enough to decide his next set of words. Nothing like how much it pained you to acknowledge the responses you got from him when you were crying were just out of obligation than sincerity.

"No, I wouldn't have."

You nod your head, expectant of the answer but you needed to hear him say it himself rather than drowning yourself in ruminating thoughts of how there was still a semblance of hope that he would've given it up for you, for your relationship—or the life that you were meant to build.

"I wouldn't have asked you to, anyway." You confess.

Yoongi turns his head to look at you and for the first time since you've met at the park, he notices the absence of a necklace around your neck. The necklace that you never took off. He wants to comment on it, ask where it went or if you've pawned it off out of pettiness but he held no remorse towards you. You were tolerant with the break-up even as you sucked in your tears when he knew that it killed you on the inside. Yoongi didn't have the heart in him to ask you.

"Oh."

"You were the one that said you'd quit so we could stay together," You say softly.

Yoongi doesn't respond as he looks back to the night where the two of you sat down to talk about the standing of your relationship. It was a rollercoaster of emotions that started off with an amicable discussion that eventually led to the two of you yelling until you surrendered to your tears and just left the battle completely.

He said a lot of things that night. From things that he's been bottling up for months, to things that he's always wanted to tell you and things that he didn't remotely mean, and things that he's regretted the moment it left his lips.

"I guess I did."

You sigh, leaning back into the bench as you observe a couple walking in front of you, passing your bench as they share an ice cream on a cone; bickering on who'd get the first lick. To anyone, you and Yoongi would've looked just like a couple that has reached a comfortable point in your relationship where intimacy was just sitting next to one another.

But you admit, there was something oddly intimate and heart-breaking about sitting next to someone you've loved with your whole heart and feel nothing but ... weightlessness. Like the burden of your concerns was lifted ever so slightly just being here.

"I wouldn't have made you choose between your relationship or your dream, Yoongi. I would never have done that to you."

Yoongi knew you would never have made him do something as abhorrent as that. You were far too understanding. But you had wanted from him too, that he wasn't willing to provide just yet. He didn't know if it was because of the expiration date to your relationship or because of the stress he was under at work—but he convinced himself that it was you that was asking for too much instead of him compromising too little.

"I ... I know," He whispers, "I'm sorry."

You purse your lips. You try not to let your emotions appear on your sleeve. You were tired of allowing your face to speak before you did. You needed to use the voice you had.

"I loved you so much, Yoongi," You murmur, "I loved you so much that I would have taken anything I could've gotten with you just so I could be with you."

Yoongi stays silent at this.

"I didn't mind if you spent more time at work than at our home. I just wanted to know if I was ever in the picture when you were talking about the future. I know how much you love music and I supported you through every audition and failure ... and to know that I was just—" You swallow, the words still painful to say. But you needed to make your peace with it, "—that I was just someone that would wait for you instead of your partner. That's when I knew that you didn't love me the way I loved you."

Yoongi chokes to speak up but you shake your head.

"No, Yoongi. You loved me, you did. But somewhere along the way you stopped and you just pretended that we were okay even when I was trying my best to fix the seams. I wasn't your girlfriend anymore, I was just someone familiar to you and I didn't deserve to feel that way." You tell him sternly.

Yoongi surrenders to his silence as you take a deep breath to continue.

"Maybe I loved you too much in a way that you couldn't understand."

"_______, don't say that—" His eyes widen when he tries to reach a hand to yours to comfort you, but your body language remains stoic as you keep your hands in your lap.

"—and that's okay Yoongi. I loved you but not in the way you needed. I'm not here to make you feel bad about what I chose to do on my own because it wasn't my fault that I couldn't be what you need." You say sadly, but a small smile on your face as you finally say the words that have been eating at you for months.

"... okay," Yoongi accepts.

"We all have different ways to love and be loved. I loved you and that was enough for you at one point but love isn't all a relationship needs. You loved me too, in your own way and I accepted that but just because it was enough for me doesn't mean it was enough for us." You glance over at him to see him staring at you intently.

"I'm sorry that things turned out this way," Yoongi says softly, eyes gentle.

You wave him off.

"I don't think I'll ever love someone as much as I loved you, though," He confesses, eyes returning to the scene in front of him filled with different colours of life that seemed to look vibrant under the Spring sunset.

You shake your head and chuckle softly.

"You say that now but you'll meet someone one day and you'll remember all the reasons why you love in the first place. And it'll be enough for you, and them."

He shrugs, a small smile itching on his face.

"I really did love you," He says, "But I'm sorry for not being honest with you. I owe you that much of an apology."

"We're not here to forgive or forget, Yoongi," You look at him kindly, "We're here to move on."

He purses his lips and hums, nodding his head.

"I hope you get that promotion at work you were talking about months ago, ______." Yoongi offers, a gentle grin marring his face.

"I did," You shrug.

It feels liberating to have achieved something and only feeling content by acknowledging it yourself. Months ago, you would've hurt at the fact that Yoongi didn't know. But the change you welcomed after the end only showed you that there was a new path for you to walk on.

His eyes widen, but eventually, he chuckles and shakes his head, muttering something under his breath that sounded a lot like knew it.

You push yourself off the bench, dusting your hands on your pants as you offer him one last smile before you say goodbye for the second time.

"I hope you find someone who you'll love more than you ever did with me." You tease.

He rolls his eyes.

"Impossible," The grin on his face is easy, and your heart still clenches at the nonchalance, but you don't expect the feeling to go away so easily—nor do you mind. It just shows that you needed to wait and that you were willing to do it.

"Of course you will. You're a musician, Yoongi. You need a muse," You smirk at him as you turn around, a small wave on your hand to say goodbye.

As you walk away and his body gets smaller and smaller from your vision, you turn around to say:

"We don't talk together is a beautiful song."

Yoongi's smile is genuine, and so is his goodbye. A gentle acknowledgment of his hand as he stands up himself, walking to the other direction of where you were headed.

You still had a love for Yoongi, and you suppose you always will. Just like how you would feel pleasant when rediscovering a childhood hobby that triggers a fond memory, or how you love different things in your life in different ways. Whether or not you love someone more than you've ever loved Yoongi isn't your concern, because when love comes in one form, it goes in another.

When you still take the same route you'd usually take with Yoongi after your walks back home, you pass the cafe you used to frequent to see that it's replaced with a new bar. You smile fondly to yourself, shaking your head.

You loved that place.

But eventually, you'll find another cafe with a beautiful interior and a latte to match, and you'll love it too.

[shinazugawaswife]

If You Love Him - Harry Styles

This is based on the song If You Love Her by Forest Blakk

This song breaks my heart every time I listen to it, and I just thought of this idea. It honestly made me so sad to write and I really got in my feels, so I’m sorry beforehand if it’s too sad, but I’m actually really proud of it so I hope you enjoy<3 (Olivia Wilde appears in this, and it’s in no way meant negatively towards her) 

Summary: you have a hard time living without Harry, and when you find out he’s seeing someone else it breaks your heart and you write a song to his new lover

Warnings: none, it’s just sad:’(

Not my gif, so creds to the owner

You sat in front of the piano, fingers brushing the keys, just barely touching them. You've been crying all day it felt like, and now you just felt numb. You were absolutely drained of all your energy and you felt like you could fall asleep on the spot, but every time you tried closing your eyes, old memories flooded your brain a thousand miles per hour and prevented sleep from taking you with it.

You missed him, fuck you missed him so much. It was so hard just breathing without him and it felt like climbing a mountain just getting through one day without Harry beside you. You barely slept, just the thought of waking up and not seeing him in bed next to you, was enough to start a waterfall of tears streaming down your face. Every day you were in physical pain too, your stomach was in knots, your head was pounding from all the crying and your body had gotten so used to just laying in bed that your muscles had started hurting too from lack of use.

Every day was a hell to go through, but today had been the worst without a doubt. Nothing could ever compare to the feeling you'd felt when you’d checked Twitter that morning and saw rumors that Harry had found someone new. It had been all over the internet after a picture had been caught of him and someone else from the night before. Even though your brain had begged you to stop looking at the pictures and just turn off your phone, you'd spent the entire morning reading articles and fan theories. Eventually, it had hurt more than you could bear and you'd put down your phone and spent the rest of the day soaking your pillow from your unstoppable fountain of tears.

Now it was some time in the middle of the night, maybe around 3 a.m? You honestly didn't know. You hadn't touched your phone since you'd tossed it away earlier and you hadn't moved from your bed until an hour ago when you'd made your way to the piano in your living room.

One time what felt like an eternity ago, Harry had found you absolutely devasted after you thought a heavy argument with one of your close friends had led to the end of your friendship, and he'd told you: "some times emotions are easier to feel if you express them through music" and he'd made you sit down on the same piano bench you were sitting on now, listening while you wrote a song about every emotion that you'd felt. You remembered how he'd been right, that the feelings had actually been more bearable after you'd sang the words. Maybe it would work that way this time too? Honestly, at this point, you were willing to try anything to minimize the painful aching in your chest.

You'd just been staring at the piano in front of you for the last hour though, no words coming to mind that could express exactly what you were feeling. You kept thinking of Harry with this new person: was he with her right now, lying next to her in bed? Were they cuddling? Did he pull her tight to his chest while his head rested atop of hers as he'd always done with you? Were they having deep pillow talks till far into the night, like the two of you used to? Did he touch her the way he'd touched you? Did her entire body ignite whenever he kissed her, as yours had always done?

You knew who she was, Olivia Wilde, the director of the movie Harry had worked so hard on the last couple of months. You remembered the day he'd come home, so excited that he'd gotten the role in the movie, and you'd been equally as excited for him and so fucking proud. Not once had you imagined that you'd be sitting here now, while Harry was starting a new relationship with her. Was she treating him right? You fucking hoped so. Even though you wanted to hate her with your entire being, you couldn't seem to be mad at her. Maybe she was giving him what you couldn't, maybe he was happier with her. God, he deserved to be so happy.

Suddenly a thought formed in your head and the fingers that had only been lightly touching the piano keys now pressed down to make the instrument play out a soft melody.

Take it If he gives you his heart Don't you break it

Your voice was weak as it escaped from your lips. You hadn't spoken to a lot of people the past couple of weeks, having barely used your voice and you couldn't even remember the last time you'd been singing. Losing Harry had made you shy away from your passion for music and writing, too many memories.

Let your arms be a place He feels safe in He's the best thing that you'll ever have

You kept going as the words formed in your head, directing the song to Harry's new lover. Even though it brought you so much pain to see Harry with someone else, you were willing to let him go if she was for him what he needed. All you wanted was for him to be happy and complete, you wanted him to have the world and you'd never been able to give him that.

Memories started appearing in your head like flashbacks behind your closed eyelids. Memories that you and Harry had shared, memories that made you smile slightly even though it shattered your heart to know that you would never share moments like them with him again. While being with Harry, you were the happiest you'd ever been and maybe you were never gonna feel that again, but it was okay as long as he was happy.

He always has trouble Falling asleep And he likes to cuddle While under the sheets

You'd spent many long nights next to Harry in bed, running your fingers through his hair and speaking softly to help him find sleep when it had been so hard for him. He'd always told you how there was no feeling that could compare to being curled up to you in bed, holding you so close to him that you could hear his heartbeat. The most peaceful moments you'd ever experienced with him were these intimate moments where you never wanted to move out of his embrace, praying that you could just stay in his arms forever.

Reality hit you now, that those moments were long gone, but you just wished with all your heart that she would hug him just the way he loved it and that she would be there for him during those sleepless nights he had when adrenaline wouldn't stop running through his body after working too much, or whenever a storm of thoughts in his head was keeping him awake.

He loves Pop songs And dancing, and bad trash TV

Harry's taste in music had always been something else. It was so wide, almost every genre of music was presented on his playlist, but you remembered you'd been surprised when you found all the cliche pop songs on there. You knew, of course, that Harry had spent five years in a boyband, singing pop songs, but to you, he just hadn't seemed like the type to listen to Ariana Grande and Katy Perry, but you'd been so wrong.

You couldn't count how many romcoms and shitty reality shows you'd watched with Harry during your time together. He'd always found them very enjoyable, and you would be lying if you didn't enjoy the times you'd been cuddled up to him on the couch while watching Love Island and discussing all the people you voted for and all the people you absolutely couldn't stand with each other.

He loves love notes and babies And likes giving gifts

A single tear escaped your eye and ran down your cheeks at the thought of all the love notes Harry had given you in the past. After you'd started dating, you'd worn his clothes so much, just because it smelled like him. His hoddies, shirts, sweatpants, jackets, you'd stolen it all from him, you're excuse being that it was more comfortable than your own clothes. Harry had never minded though, in fact, he'd always loved to see you walk into the kitchen in his shirt in the mornings or walk out of the house in a pair of his sweatpants paired with something like a white tank top.

At some point, he started putting little notes in the pockets of his hoddies or pants, knowing you'd put the items on the next day and find the sweet notes he hid. It was just small things like I love you or have a great day, love or excited to see you tonight, but they had always melted your heart, making you love him just that more.

Has a hard time accepting A good compliment

Harry had always showered you with compliments, every chance he got, always making you smile. You'd always made sure to tell Harry what an amazing person he was and how talented he was, how beautiful his music was and how absolutely gorgeous he looked, and every single time a sweet comment like that had left your mouth, Harry had blushed slightly while looking down at his feet. He would start making excuses, saying that it was nothing special every time you were amazed by a new song he'd written, and telling you he didn't know what you were talking about every time you'd told him how good he looked.

Knowing that he'd never been good at receiving compliments, you'd made sure to attack him with them all the time, and even though he never admitted it, you knew he thought about your words with a lot of consideration, eventually, you hoped, he started believing them.

You just wanted her to keep telling him those sweet things every day because he needed to hear them.

He loves his whole family And all of his friends

You thought of Harry's family and how he'd been so proud when he'd introduced you to them for the first time. He always put his family above everyone and though he didn't see them as much as he wanted to, he made sure that they never questioned how much they meant to him.

You'd admired the relationship he had with his family, especially his mother and sister, you could just tell how much he adored them. You'd never really had a home with that kind of love. You were an only child, so no siblings, and your mother had passed away while you were still young, leading your father into years of alcoholism and depression.

You'd never felt safe and loved until you met Harry, he was your family. That was probably the hardest part for you to let go of, the feeling of safety you'd had whenever you were wrapped in his arms or from simply being in the same room as him.

He was such a giving person, never asking for much. He had a lot of friends and they all adored him, how could they not? He had this ability to make you feel so special and he was such a good listener too, giving you all his attention whenever you told him something, not letting anything distract him.

So if you're the one he lets in Take it If he gives you his heart Don't you break it Let your arms be a place He feels safe in He's the best thing that you'll ever have He'll love you If you love him

You sang, and god, the words hurt. It felt like your chest was being pried open and your heart ripped out and shredded into pieces. You had to mov eon though, for your own good. You never wanted to forget Harry, he would always have a piece of you, but this grieve that you were feeling had to decrease, you could barely live a life when it hurt so bad.

If Olivia was the one for Harry, then so be it, if she made him happy you couldn't argue. Obviously you hadn't made him as happy as he'd made you, but you hadn't realized that until he'd walked out the door and it was too late. He had let go of you and now it was time for you to do the same, you just wanted, no needed her to treat him right.

On days when It feels like the whole World might cave in Stand side by side And you'll make it He's the best thing that you'll ever have He'll love you If you love him like that

You always thought that Harry and you could get through anything, and your relationship had been put to a lot of tests throughout your time together but never had you thought that one of these obstacles would actually get the better of you.

You remembered that day so clearly. The day your whole world fell apart slowly with every step Harry took towards your front door, and it all crashed down on you when he sat down in his car and drove away without even one last glance in your direction. You hadn't talked to him after that, but still, he remained the single thing on your mind 24/7. It hurt you how quickly he had moved on, but you couldn't be mad because you felt at blame for your relationship ending in the first place.

Harry had always said that as long as you stood together, then absolutely nothing could come in the way of you two, and the only time you hadn't been side by side, that's when you fell apart. You'd always appreciated him so much, sometimes you'd thought it was impossible to care so much for another human as you cared about Harry.

Your hands started shaking a bit and you could feel the tears slowly appearing in the corner of your eyes. You would never stop caring about Harry, he had such an impact on your life, what were you supposed to do without him? God, would this pain ever stop? As you started the second verse, the tears escaped your eyes and silently ran down your cheeks.

Kiss him with passion As much as you can

You missed kissing Harry. Just his touch had been such an essential part of your day and now that you didn't get to feel that, you needed it more than anything. When you thought of it, it was as if you could still feel his lips on yours, kissing you softly.

You'd kissed a number of guys before you met Harry and you'd thought all of them had been fairly good, but that was until you kissed Harry. You'd shared your first kiss one day while you'd been chilling at Harry's and he just couldn't stop himself as you'd stood in his kitchen and looked so beautiful. You knew Harry had experience, but you remember being completely taken aback by how comfortable the kiss was. It wasn't too wet, but not entirely without his tongue roaming your mouth either. He'd grabbed your waist while your arms snaked their way around his neck, and he'd tasted good after the smoothies he'd made for the two of you earlier that day. You hadn't been able to get enough and he had seemed to have the same problem because you'd barely taken your hands off each other for the rest of the night.

Harry was a very affectionate person and he’d loved holding you, kissing you, just touching you in general. It had made you feel so loved and now where that feeling had belonged in your chest, was just emptiness. You were certain no one could ever make you feel the way Harry had, he could make your entire body feel like it was on fire just by holding your hand.

Run your hands through his hair Whenever he's sad

It wasn't often Harry had been sad in front of you, let alone cried, but it had happened a couple of times, and many times he'd come home and you'd been able to see that something was wrong, but he would deny it. It wasn't because he’d been embarrassed to be sad in front of you, but he’d often pushed it away because he didn't want to burden you. You knew him well though and you could tell the second he would walk in the door, that something was wrong. If he didn't want to talk about it, mostly you'd just put a romcom on the television and pulled him into your arms while you'd cuddled on the sofa, gently running your fingers through his soft curls. You would do anything to brush your fingers through his hair right now...

And when he doesn't notice How amazing he is Tell him over and over

So he never forgets

On the outside, Harry had always made a great effort to appear confident and independent, but when you'd managed to get to know him behind that exterior, you'd discovered that he had a bunch of his own insecurities. He always questioned if his music was good enough, if his performances were good enough, if he was a good idol, if he deserved everything he had, if he was good enough.

Once you'd found out he felt this way a lot of the time, you'd always made sure to tell him how absolutely extraordinary you thought he was. You hoped that she would tell him too, help him build a better image of himself in his head.

You managed to get through the chorus again before your feelings became too overwhelming and you had to stop. Your fingers halted on the piano while your tears had become slightly more uncontrollable.

You couldn't help but think that you were pathetic for sitting here when Harry had clearly moved on with someone else. You'd realized how much your joy had depended on him, but you had to be able to live a life without him. How could you move on when Harry had completed you though?

It was cliche, but you felt like you were missing a part of you and without Harry, you would never be able to get it back. It was like he'd been too good for you, so he had been taken away from you. You had always known you didn't deserve him, but you'd tried your very hardest to be worthy of his love, but you weren't and now someone was making you pay for those years where you'd been granted his affection without actually deserving it.

What were you supposed to do? How the fuck were you supposed to live a life when your source of happiness had been taken away from you?

With tears still in your eyes and your body shaking, you removed yourself from the piano and went back to bed, hoping that maybe tomorrow would be the day he would come knocking at your door, because moving on from him clearly wasn’t an option...

——————————————————————————

A/n: I've got a bunch of requests that's been sitting in my inbox for so long and I'm sorry I haven't gotten around to them. A bunch of them are with JJ and I just haven't been in the mood to write for him lately, I've just kinda been diving deeper and deeper into my Harry obsession (when am I not), but I'll get around to them at some point. Again I'm really sorry, school is just really stressing me out too, so I haven't been writing much at all, please don't stop requesting though<3

[issaxcharlie]

Ghost Of You 2/2

Pairing: Ghost! Luke Patterson x Fem Reader

Summary: Luke, Reggie and Alex have to assimilate their loss. For Luke of his girlfriend, and for the others of their best friend after suddenly learning that she didn’t have the future they imagined, and instead died 23 years ago.

Thank you to @cookiebuba for being the head of the entire idea and trusting me with it, and to Emy for almost holding my hand to force me to write🤣💜

PART 1 HERE

“It can’t be.”

“Luke, I-”

"No, Julie. You are not telling me that the woman of my life, the purest person who has ever stepped on this world, not only lost her partner and her best friends, but was only able to live her life for two more years and then ended in a horrible accident. It's as if life wanted to torture her before taking her too.”

“Love of ?... Zeppelin shirt you wore when you ran away. Of course.”

“I- It can’t be true, please tell me it’s not true, Julie.”

“Luke... she loved you so much.”

He falls on the floor. The impact is strong, as if his legs have stopped working.

"I know." He whispers slowly, his gaze empty as multiple tears fall from his eyes.

The rest of the gang threw themselves to the ground around him and hugged him with all their might, trying to unite his broken pieces without any success. Alex and Reggie each crying silently over the loss of their sweet friend.

“What day did she pass away? Alex whispers.

"Let me search, one moment." Julie gets up quickly and checks on her laptop to find a little note about the singer's death.

"The rising singer Y/N Y/L who had just released the biggest hit of her career passed away this afternoon in a terrible car accident after leaving the cemetery where her late boyfriend, Luke Patterson, was buried. Y/L was there in commemoration of the 2 years of the loss of the aspiring musician, who died from a sudden tragic intoxication along with the rest of his band. Something to rescue from this tragedy is that at least she's already reunited with her eternal love. May both rest in peace.”

“This can’t be. My Y/N can’t be gone. Not her, not like that.” Luke is still in denial, unable to believe that his little girl suffered such a terrible ending.

“Maybe she’s not. There's still a chance that she's also a ghost.”

“Yeah, Julie’s right. We need to look out for her, we can't write her off without trying to find her first.” Reggie's eyes sparkle with hope, rushing to cover Alex's mouth in case he says anything other than motivating.

Luke takes his flannel and disappears immediately. Both Reggie and Alex stare sadly at Julie who simply whispers a "go, he needs you." They nod and teleport to their friend.

As expected, Luke is in front of the window of an old music store. He met his girlfriend here so many years ago, the day his parents agreed to buy him his first guitar.

The store had a small section where customers could try out some instruments and she was playing the guitar they had there and singing for the small audience. It seemed like it was something she did often because both the workers and certain customers seemed familiar with the girl.

Luke was captivated by her from the first moment. The energy and passion that radiated from her in every move was unreal. He had never seen anyone happier, much less singing with a borrowed guitar from a small downtown store.

The store is completely abandoned, so without saying anything he comes in and walks towards the small stage.

The ghosts of two 12-year-old kids singing together into the microphone invades his memory. If they only knew.

"Do you remember what was the first thing she said to you?" Reggie and Alex sit next to him on the floor, looking straight at the very small stage. They both try to imagine what their friends must have looked like singing here together the first time. Luke totally invading little Y/N's presentation trying to captivate her with his 0% music experience and 100% of enthusiasm.

Luke laughs through tears. "You have the voice of a country singer."

Alex starts crying when he imagines her. He met her just a few weeks later so he knows exactly how she must have looked and sound.

Reggie smiles while shedding a tear, remembering all those afternoons Y/N convinced Luke to join them in their country sessions. He knows that's why Luke hasn't wanted to know anything about country or his songs since they got back. They remind him of his sweet girl.

“I was so offended. I still didn't know anything about music but I had already decided that I would be a rocker. If I hadn't already been so dazzled by her I would have left without looking back.”

“And what did you answer to defend your honor?”

"You think so?" The three of them start laughing while still crying. A heartbreaking mix of pain comes from their chests.

“C’mon guys, next stop.”

The three of them were teletransporting around the city during the day without any success. Luke's desperation increasing for every place the songwriter wasn't.

At night the three decide to go back to the studio. Luke is heartbroken, bloated after crying all day, eyes red and sore, and whatever it was that was driving him to continue, off.

His friends couldn't do much for him either because each was living the loss in their own way, concentrating on living their own pain until they could process it.

Julie wraps them in blankets on the couch and tries to fill them with love, making sure to hug Luke tightly, who seems about to fall apart.

“Does anyone want to talk about her? Maybe it could make you feel better.”

“She was my entire soul, the words and melody in each of my songs. I just, I love her more than anything in this world. I would give anything for her. My guitar, my voice, my songs, whatever it took for us to be together. I know it doesn't seem like it at this point, but we belong together.”

“We know you do, man.”

“I didn't tell you but I dream about her almost every night since we got back. It is always the same dream. She is in bed, leaving my side intact. She's wearing one of my shirts and hugging my favorite one while sobbing. She falls asleep listening to the ballad I wrote for her soaked in tears and no matter how hard I try to wake her up, I can't get her to see or hear me. I can’t get her. After a few minutes she gets up still asleep and begins to dance as we did so many times, but alone. Then she stops and starts crying again inconsolably. And that's when I wake up."

"I'm so sorry, Luke. She deserved so much more." Reggie walks over to hug him, his head resting on his arm while he sobs.

“We couldn't even say goodbye to her.” Alex cries, his eyes completely red.

“We already know that she visited your graves, perhaps we could do the same, dedicate a few words to her.” Julie offers in an attempt to help them find some peace.

Luke looks devastated, but he nods his head as tears continue to fall from his face, the ring that his girlfriend gave him going in and out of his finger. Alex hugs Julie while she strokes his hair in an effort to calm him down and Reggie runs up to get a notebook and pencil to start planning what to say to his best friend tomorrow.

The three of them hang around all night, crying, writing, hugging, remembering the spark of Sunset Curve. In the morning before going to visit her, they realize is exactly the 25th anniversary of that tragic night that changed the lives of the four forever. Luke nearly punches a hole in the wall upon hearing the sad coincidence.

Her grave is right next to Luke's, who has never been here before and can't help but feel a bit anxious.

“Don’t worry, I’ll start.” Reggie tells the guitarist as he takes a step forward, a small smile on his lips.

"Hello, princess. Long time, huh? I'm Reggie, by the way. In case you don't recognize me from the slight change in my hair. I am trying a little more gel, I want something more elegant and classic. What do you think? Yes, I also thought you would like it.” Julie and Alex smile at hearing him talk to her as natural as possible.

“I tried very hard to think of what to say, because if there is anyone who deserves my best words, it is you. And three things came to mind that I want to share with you.

First, the color yellow.

Yellow like the guitar you were saving for two years to buy. You did everything. You were a babysitter, you walked dogs, you worked in the school library, you sang with your old acoustic guitar in every cafe, basically everything that will let you win some money.

And the day before you could finally go buy it, my dad broke my bass in a moment of anger in one of his typical fights with mom that got really out of hand. At least he didn’t hurt her, huh? But when you're a kid you don't even think about the possibility that something like that could happen, you just focus on the broken instrument in your hand. I ran out and ended up on the stairs of your house with my face soaked and one of the broken pieces in my hand.

You hugged me and promised that everything would be fine. That I was always going to have you four and that we would always be family. You assured me that good things happen to good people. And I believed you, you know? You were always right. But now that I'm here, that I know you didn't have the happy ending you deserved, I'm honestly not so sure anymore.”

Luke and Alex start crying again, each hugging Reggie from one side. Reg tries with all his might to continue through the tears, while Julie looks at them with a broken heart.

“The next day when I came back from school a new bass was on my bed. You talked to Mom so she could take the credit for the gift, but coincidentally was exactly the bass that I fell in love with a year earlier when we went to check if your beloved yellow guitar hadn't dropped in price. Luke revealed to me a few months later that you had to borrow money from your mom in order to complete the exact money for that one.

How generous do you have to be in order to do something like that? how noble? How loving? How selfless? You were always more than I deserved. I was supposed to be like an older brother for you, but it was always you who took care of me. I have Julie and Carlos, and I'm trying to be with them as you were with me. I had the best step sister in the world to teach me, and I hope I can do you justice.” Julie starts crying too after hearing his words, and resists the urge to going to hug him because she knows that they need their space to let go all the suffering that they carry.

“Second, my leather jacket.

When we started the band we made a 100% commitment to being rockstars. And a very important part is the look. You accompanied me on a walk around the city looking for the right outfit to literally go sing to the people who were lining up in front of the clubs.

Anyone could have left me alone on that for multiple reasons, not even these two wanted to face the trouble. But you followed me without thinking twice.

The afternoon was over and we still haven't found anything. Our feet couldn't take it anymore and we had 10 minutes to run to the club. But we stopped by a little store that had a black leather jacket in the window and you said, Reg, this is it.

You excitedly took me by the hand and when I tried it on, the rest was history.

Then I tried to get the whole band to use them but these two boys without fashion sense didn’t want to. You, on the other hand, supported me and wore your leather jacket during all the Sunset Curve performances we had, convincing me that they were our good luck charms and that if we both used them everything would be amazing. Oh god, I miss you so much.

And third, a star.

I thought you were a star when I heard you sing for the first time.

I thought you were a star when you and Luke managed to write the whole Sunset Curve album in 2 months.

I thought you were a star when you bought me my bass, when you made Alex feel better after one of his strongest attacks, when you filled Luke with love and support when he needed it the most.

And I believe it now that I know you are gone.

If you are in heaven, you have to be a star. And not just a star, the brightest star of all. I promise to look for your light every night to wish you sweet dreams. I will also sing you some country since you were the only one who appreciated my incredible sound, I hope it makes you smile.”

“That was beautiful, Reggie. I’m sure she loved it.” Julie finally reaches out to hug him as Alex prepares to be next.

“Hey. I don’t even know where to start.

I- I guess I should start saying I could never pay you all the times you were there to pick me up when I needed someone the most. I went back to dancing a little again. It's not the same without you, but somehow it makes me feel you close. I also met someone, oh Y/N, he’s so special, I'm sure you would have loved him and I would have loved the opportunity to introduce him to you. You were always there.

You were there to support me when I decided to learn drums to cope with my anxiety. You sang the song I was practicing over and over to keep me company and reassure me that what I was doing sounded good.

You were there to support me when I told you I like to dance. We spent hours choreographing different iconic songs and just laughing and enjoying creating more memories together.

Not shocking at this point but you were also there for me when I confessed to my parents I’m gay and you gave me strength all those times that I wanted to fall because they no longer saw me the same way.

You were always my safe place. And I regret with all my heart that I couldn’t be yours.”

Alex breaks down. She kept them on their feet during her darkest days and they paid her off by causing her the most horrible pain imaginable. Julie and Reggie surround her in their arms while sobbing. The last one of the band standing moves closer to the grave and drops to his knees.

“I’m so sorry, my love. I’m so fucking sorry.” Luke tries to be strong, but tears start falling like waterfalls from his eyes, his face red in a mixture of despair, sadness and anger.

“I will never forgive myself for leaving you alone. Baby, I've been without you for only 1 month and I’m going crazy, even with the boys and Julie by my side. I don't even want to imagine what you must have been through those two years. My soul is shattered just thinking about it.

At first when we returned I imagined you were happy after having fulfilled all our plans with someone else. And I thought nothing could hurt me more than that, but obviously I was wrong. Because although it hurt me that I couldn’t be the one who was with you, thinking that you had been happy gave me the peace to be able to continue. Now that I know that life took away your opportunity, the only thing I feel is anger.

Anger towards me, anger towards destiny. Anger at not being able to be together even after death. Since we discovered where you are, I have only been able to think of cross over and finally be with you again.

Or at least go back to the night before everything turned into a nightmare. Fall asleep with you in my arms one more time.

I swear I even miss your snoring and you biting my cheek after your goodnight kiss, as you would say, in a gesture of love.”

“Hello again, my love.

I can't believe 25 years have passed. First of all, I want you to know that I'm okay. Or well, the equivalent for ghosts that are destined to haunt the earth alone for all eternity. I made a friend for several years, Rose. I told you about her, remember? I know you guys would have been good friends, she was a ridiculously talented musician. Since she died I no longer had the strength to go back to the studio, but for a long time I enjoyed her company in one of my favorite places. She promised to tell you that I'm waiting for you. I will wait whatever time is necessary, okay? I love you so much, baby.

You three are always on my mind, and I think I can finally accept that the pain is just never going to go away. But lately something super strange has happened to me, let me tell you.

Throughout these years, in the darkest days, I see you. But, they were always memories.

A month ago, I started to see you having other kinds of experiences and I honestly don't know how to feel about it. Am I going that crazy? I selfishly hoped that you too were ghosts for so many years. I looked for you 5, 10, 15, 20 years. And just as I decide to give up, my head imagines you all over the city.

The first time I saw you singing Reggie's jam on the beach. You guys looked so happy, love. It filled my heart with peace for a few seconds, knowing that somewhere up there you are enjoying life singing together all day.

Then I saw my beloved Alex with a cute boy. My heart melted, I can’t even explain how much I wanted to run to hug him and gossip about it.

Baby, he looked so peaceful. I always wanted that for Alex. I didn't know whether to be happy or cry because that didn’t actually happen, so I did both.

The penultimate time was a few nights ago when I was walking in front of the Orpheum and I heard your voices. How wicked my mind is, right? A knife to the heart would hurt less.

And now, I can't even get close to your grave because I'm imagining you all again.”

Y/N doesn't know what to do, if she gets close enough will they disappear? What If they don’t? Will she bear to see them up close? She has been dancing with their ghosts in her dreams for so many years, but It’s not the same as doing it when she is fully awake.

She is about to run out of there in fear when the silhouette of a fourth person catches her attention. She doesn't know why, but it immediately reminds her of Rose. Could it be that she is imagining her friend too?

Curiosity is stronger than fear, like all those times when she got into trouble with her boys. She walks carefully towards her grave which is next to her beloved Luke.

“I swear I even miss your snoring and you biting my cheek after your goodnight kiss as you would say, in a gesture of love.”

“I don't freaking snore, I told you a million times already... and now I'm talking with my imagination, great.”

The band turns in shock towards the fifth voice. That's when she can see the girl's face and realize who she is.

“Julie? But, how?”

“Y/N?” Alex whispers on the verge of passing out.

She starts to panic, just before the boys can do something about it, a new person appears behind her.

“Hey, you took a long time." She turns around and jumps into the arms of who has become her only friend in recent years.

“Phoenix, thank god.” Her body continues to shake but she clings tightly to her friend while crying uncontrollably.

To say the ghosts are confused would be an understatement. And apart from that, the guitarist is having many conflicts with the jealousy that he is feeling at the moment. They haven't seen each other in 25 years and when they finally do, she runs into someone else's arms and clings to him like her life depends on it.

What does that mean for them? Is it too late?

“Beautiful, what's wrong? Who are they? Oh, wait. You guys were at the club a few weeks ago, you're friends with Willie, right?”

Luke feels like dying all over again hearing him call her that. She continues to shake but finally lets go.

“What? You can see them?”

“Shouldn’t I?” He looks at her skeptical and shifts his eyes from her to the ghosts.

“I- Oh my god. I'm going to pass out.“

“Baby, look at me.” Luke’s voice is a mix between a plea and a demand. The terror of knowing that perhaps he has already lost her without having had the opportunity to fight for her clouds his judgment and tears begin to fall from his face again.

25 years. 25 years fighting not to forget his voice. 25 years having him only in dreams, in memories, in melodies. 25 years waiting for him. 25 years on her own.

She turns slowly to meet those honey-green eyes she craved for so long to see, a painful smile from Luke makes her smile through tears.

She carefully lifts her right hand and gently draws it to his cheek, almost exploding at the feel of it.

“You came back. Oh my, It’s really you.” She jumps to the guitarist, entwining her legs at his hips, her arms tangled with all her strength around him, her head buried in his neck inhaling his scent. Tears coming out as if to drown her, all the pain and suffering that she faced all these years finally leaving her body.

Luke wraps her tightly in his arms, still unable to process what’s happening.

Alex and Reggie begin to smile without fully assimilating what is happening, while Julie begins to jump of joy.

“Babygirl, I'm sorry to ruin the moment but I have to rush to the club. Will you be okay here?"

“She's always safe with me." The guitarist growls, and Y/N starts laughing when she hears it.

"The jealous, protective baby in the beanie is right, don't worry Nix. I’ll go and find you later."

Phoenix nods with a smile and disappears. Julie begins to scold Luke while Reggie and Alex approach to touch the cheek of their best friend, still in the arms of the guitarist who does not seem to have any intention of letting go.

“We should go home to catch up. Reggie and I will accompany Julie, it seems that you two should speak alone first." Luke doesn't think twice and disappears with her in his arms.

“Good things happen to good people.” Reggie whispers as he hugs his friends and they start walking home.

Luke and Y/N reappear in the studio and they are both shocked for a few seconds. The girl trembles again in fear of dreaming.

“Hey, come here baby. Shh, I’m here, I promise.”

“Don’t leave me ever again, please.” He can see that it is very difficult for her to understand that is really happening, and to think that she lived without him not 2 but 25 years makes him want to cry again.

“I won’t. I promise, beautiful. Never again.” Luke wraps her in his arms, but she lifts her head from his chest to push her lips against his. The kiss is urgent, but they both instantly recognize each other and fit in perfectly. Luke picks her up again and gently lays her down on the couch, both desperate to feel the other, to recognize every inch.

“I missed you so much baby, I love you more than anything.” Luke whispers between kisses, not willing to have her an inch away from him.

“I love you my love. I love you, I love you, I love you.” She says while kissing the love of her life, happy for the first time in 25 years.

Before things get to escalate, the rest of the band shows up in the studio followed by Julie who clearly walks through the door.

"Let go of her man, it's our turn!" Y/N gets up quickly from the sofa while her boyfriend complains and she throws herself at both of them who pick her up as best they can and spin her in the air.

They put her down and Julie and her stare each other, both raise their arms and meet in a quick but sweet hug.

“You said my name back there, how?” The question that she has stuck since she met her finally coming to light.

“I met your mom many years ago when I came to visit the studio and realized that she could see me. We were friends for many years and I had the opportunity to see you grow up, but I always made sure to be upstairs when you came in in case you could see me too.”

“Well, now I understand how Carlos felt when he found out that we lived with ghosts. And It sounds like mom watches over us both from heaven.”

“Yeah, I’m sure she does.” Both girls smile and hug each other once more.

“I can't believe I endured 25 years without having those beautiful arms around me.” She whispers as they both lie on the couch, Luke has her completely cornered in his arms.

“I’m so sorry, baby. It breaks my heart that you have suffered that much for so many years.”

“It was not your fault. You lost as much as I did that night. Besides, I always knew that you would find me sooner or later. We belong together.”

“We do. I, I k-know we have way more to talk about but, who was the dude from the cementery?”

The insecurity in his voice is evident and Y/N can't help but smile. His emotions are complex, real, and nothing can make her happier than that.

“I’ll tell you all about my friend later, okay? For now... dance with me? I want to dance with the real deal.” He smiles and they both stand up, hugging each other as they slowly move through the studio as they did many times before life separated them.

The Luke in her arms is her Luke, the same one she has been waiting for so many years, finally back in her arms. And just as she thought when she lived, she will dance with his ghost for all eternity.

Thank you for reading✨✨

Taglist: @writerinlearning, @ghostofmgg @strangerthanfanfiction713, @thebloodthirstyvampress, @kinda-really-lost, @kcd15, @magnet-girl, @aliandthephantoms, @stxrkspidey, @pinkrockstar19, @s0uz4s, @shycupcakealissa @cookiebuba, @fangirlangioma, @sageellsworth05, @twist3dtinkerbell, @sunsetcurvenotsunsetswerve, @caitsymichelle13, @ifilwtmfc, @luckylouiebug, @bibliophilewednesday, @totomoshi, @siennanoelle01, @lunashadow6955, @bookfrog247, @morganayennefertyrell, @kiss-themoongoodbye, @rachelle3musicals, @imsydneywalker, @really-dont-forget-it @agentstarkid @talksoprettyjjx @kaitieskidmore1 @lukeys-giggle @katie-navarro @crybabyddl @cocopuffs0211 @marvel-ousnesss @blackhood5sos @tessxblxckthorn

Goy tags: @eternalharry @xplrreylo

[adotrevsleft]

The Car Album ranking/review:

10) Big Ideas - this was beautiful I just don't see myself listening a lot but the lyrics is what stands out to me the most as it is very catchy, even now I am literally saying to myself "and I cannot for the life of me remember how it goes" it's really good, I feel bad putting it down here...

09) Mr Schwartz - again don't see myself listening to it a lot, but not bad at all this is a bit more of my style that I like to listen to and I'm surprised it's not any higher, but it would be a crime to put these other ones any lower as well. However, I fear I may become obsessed with it soon, idk... I have a feeling...

08) There'd Better Be a Mirrorball - again, I feel so bad that I have to put this so low because I love the intro, and this was published in August and I love this, but they topped this on every single aspect with the other songs. This was such a good song. Definitely will be listening to this again. And DEFINITELY recommend.

07) Sculptures Of Anything Goes - Wow, just wow. Again, a beautiful intro to the song. I have no words. This is definitely a song that is more of a song that I would like. However, I'm surprised that it took me a few listens to rank it this high... (Mind you, I've listened to this whole album 5 times)

06) Hello You - This song is really catchy and overall so good. I have no words, my mouth was open when it started playing. This is a typical song of Artic Monkeys that goes very well with the general public, and I hope this song gets the recognition it deserves, because it is actually really good. Definitely will be coming back to this song in literal tears.

05) Jet Skis On The Moat - wtf. This was gorgeous. This made me feel so nostalgic from the very beginning of this song I felt really nostalgic for no reason. It nearly made me cry for some reason. Idk why, this song makes me feel a lot of emotions in one whole go and most songs can't do that so I really appreciate this song for doing that, which is genuinely really impressive.

04) I Ain't Quite Where I Think I Am - Yet another song that was published a little earlier in October but immediately I fell in love this song, it reminded of songs such as Snap Out Of It, some people may say that it sounds outdated, but I love this, genuinely love this song so much. I think people that like more of their more famous songs would like this song.

03) Perfect Sense - such a beautiful way to finish this extraordinary album, it's really nice to listen to. It really did make "perfect sense" to put it in the end, it left me nostalgic and kinda sad, but in a good way, yk, also another thing about this song is that only in the moment it ended did I realise how much I missed them.

02) Body Paint - Again this song was published in September and I have more time to love this song, but it is such a good song. It makes me feel sentimental, I loved the ending, the outro is so good and should be made iconic ong.

01) The Car - reminded me of songs such as Do Me A Favour (my comfort song) again, a song that makes me feel so nostalgic. A solemn yet beautiful intro and the way that builds up its tension is spectacular, it reminded me a bit of Abba and sad indie rock music put together, this song is so much better than I expected. The solo guitar on the end made the song 100x better and the way it ends abruptly for some reason makes sense. By far my favourite in this album if you couldn't tell through this ranking.

Overall, this album was amazing and I'm so happy that they are back. This album was a nostalgic, sentimental, definitely making you want to rip your hair out from tears kinda album. And I loved that about it.

[misskatebishop]

Make my messes matter

Word count: 2090

Pairing: Steve x Tony

Warning: Hurt/Comfort.

Summary: Tony has a bad day at home and Steve comforts him.

Tony rests his head against the cold metal, holding tightly his bag against his chest. He closes his eyes while the music fills his surroundings. It’s almost midnight and he has nowhere to go. Nowhere to sleep. Tony feels the tears prick his eyes, biting his lower lip to not allow a sob to come out. He’ll not cry. Not anymore.

He didn’t do anything wrong, but Howard never believes him. Not surprising, though. Yet, being kicked out of the house wasn’t something he was expecting. Of course, he had plans to move out from his parents long ago, but he’d never put them in order. He hoped that he would have more time. More time to build and secure life for himself. A life where he wouldn’t need Howard’s money to survive. But at 18, life isn’t what anyone expects it to be.

It’s a funny and ironic story that he wanted to grow up when he was a kid, and now he wishes he was a kid again. He wishes he didn’t have to worry so much or feel so overwhelmed at such a young age. But he’s Tony Stark and people expect better of him. They expect too much when all Tony wants is to work on his own projects. He wasn’t ready to assume a high post in his father’s company. Not yet. There was so much he wanted to do.

So many places to go. So many things to see, to listen to, to touch, to know. He didn’t want to spend his life in an office, barking orders around, filing paperwork. He wanted so much more to himself. Of course, Howard couldn’t see it that way. He said he was tired of Tony’s excuses to assume his place in the world, he was tired of having supported him his entire life, just for Tony to refuse when he’s offered the post of director in the R&D department. In fact, he’s tired of Tony. He’s been tired of his son long ago. And Tony was tired of living from crumbs. Crumbs of love. That’s not what life is supposed to be.

After Maria’s death, things just got worse. Howard became a constant burden on his shoulders, always asking and demanding more of him. As if he could never be enough. As if Howard had fed him his entire life just to reap the fruits of his work now. As if Tony owes him an entire life and that he should be paying back now. Tony couldn’t see an exit to himself. He couldn’t see a light out of that. He felt like a bird constantly locked in a cage. Unable to sing his beauty. To become what he was born to: fly freely. Spreading beauty in the world.

But Howard could never understand the meaning of such simple words as no, or I’m not ready or give me more time. He crushed Tony into expectations that he may never be capable of achieving. It hurts. So after being hit, insulted, mocked, he was done, then Howard screamed for him to get the hell out of his house. His house, he emphasized. After all, Tony couldn’t be more than a mere tenant living under his father’s roof while he worked out his life.

Fuck.

He’s so fucked up.

The automatic voice sounds inside the train, letting him know that he will descend in the next station. Tony sighs, looking at the empty wagon. There is some freedom in it, to be able to walk away and don’t look back. To be able to follow his own path. But for an eighteen-year-old, unemployed, and who just had graduated, freedom is always frightening. There isn’t any expectation of life. What could he do? He’d had to work his way out of this. To start job-hunting, and conciliate it with his master’s degree, which he just had been admitted to. Scary. Terrifying. So lost.

No prospect of life. No home. Just a few banknotes and his credit cards in his wallet. A couple of clothes in his bag. Nothing to offer. Why would someone take pity on him? Why would someone take him in?

Tony tucks his headphones inside his bag, holding on a post as the rails brakes, the sound is almost comforting for the fact that tonight he has a destination in mind. Tomorrow, he will think about somewhere else. But for tonight, he prays that he can count on Steve.

For his misfortune, Howard chose to kick him out at the moment that his closest friends were far away. He didn’t know Rhodey’s location since he was on a mission for the Air Force, and Pepper was in Vancouver for the next three months. He had nowhere to go, but Steve’s.

Tony was afraid of how Steve would react when he knocked on his door at… Tony glances down at his phone, 12:41 a.m. He had hung out with Steve before, he could say that they were friends. Steve is a good friend, actually, but Tony feels more for him than he’s able to voice and since he had embarrassed Steve at a party weeks ago, when he vomited on his shoes after drinking too much, then told him he loved him in front of everyone since then Tony hasn’t answered his calls or texts until he finally stopped receiving them.

Fate is a bitch, though, and here he is asking for shelter for the very same man.

Tony strides through the streets of Brooklyn, he doesn’t know the neighborhood very well, but he knows where Steve’s building is. Tony gasps, rubbing his hands together to warm them up a little bit. It’s November, but the weather gets especially cold at night. He can see his breath whenever he exhales. Tony hurries up the stairs, getting breathless easily due to his heart condition. At least, he’d remembered to pack his medication, only enough for the next two months, though.

Because being homeless and unemployed is not enough in his list of failures, he also had to have a chronic illness.

Tony stops before the door with the number 13. He raises a fist, taking a deep breath. Steve must be sleeping, and he hates the fact that he is about to disturb him. Tony looks at the stairs again, thinking that he could wait there until morning, but Steve would be mad if he knew that Tony didn’t call him. Tony knocks hard. Harder than he should. Maybe, he should call Steve’s phone, although, after weeks without any news from him, it would look weird. It was already weird standing here in the middle of the night after confessing. Tony raises a fist again, wondering if Steve would really get up and check the door but before he could knock again, the door opens.

“Tony?” Steve frowns, staring at him. He rubs his beautiful eyes. Tony feels helpless, unable to acknowledge the emotions in his features, he can’t tell what Steve might be thinking just looking at his face.

“Steve, I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up, I-” Tony starts to say.

“You didn’t. I was watching a movie,” Steve says, looking at both sides of the corridor before stepping aside. “Come in.”

Tony does. Steve locks the door behind him, throwing the keys on the kitchen counter. His apartment is small, but it’s cozy and it serves Steve well. It feels warm inside here.

“What happened? Are you okay?” Steve takes Tony's bag from his shoulder, putting it on the couch. Tony sees a movie he doesn’t know playing on the TV and a blanket and cushions on the couch. “Are you hurt?” Steve’s blue eyes scan him from top to bottom.

“No. I-I am fine,” Tony assures him.

“C’mon here. You must be cold,” Steve goes to the kitchen, and Tony follows him timidly. “It’s still hot, I made it minutes ago.” Steve hands him a mug filled with hot chocolate. It smells so good and tastes incredible when Tony takes a sip. “Nothing better than hot chocolate to warm you up,” Steve smiles.

Tony agrees, adding in his mind that there’s nothing better than hot chocolate to push away the distress in his chest. Tony rubs his eyes, feeling them dry for the fact that he had cried earlier, and Steve must’ve noticed how red and swollen they are because he asks again:

“What happened, Tony?”

Tony ponders if he should tell the truth or just invent an excuse. He ends up with the truth because it’s Steve, and he hates lying to Steve.

“My father kicked me out. I have nowhere to go.”

Steve looks… He doesn’t know how Steve looks. Pitiful? Sad? Relieved? It’s hard to know. Steve is only three years older than him; they met in an art exposition months ago in the National Academy School of Fine Arts. Pepper is passionate about Arts, and she dragged Tony along that day. It was his lucky day that Steve was exposing his work there, they ended up talking and exchanging phone numbers. After that, Tony asked him out to a few parties, one of which embarrassed Steve in front of everyone. He couldn't forget about that. But nothing really happened between the two of them, except for some stares and slight brushing of hands.

“I’m sorry, Tony.”

“I don’t wanna bother you, but--”

“Of course you can stay, Tony,” Steve cuts him off, walking in his direction.

“Oh,” Tony lets out when Steve's big arms wrap around him, pulling him into a hug. “It feels nice.” Well, Tony didn’t have the intention to say it out loud. He steps back, breaking the hug. “I-I-” what?

“Yes, it felt nice, too,” Steve looks almost fond of him, but… Tony didn’t want to get attached. He couldn’t, what if Steve didn’t love him? Tony feels already loveless. He couldn’t bear the thought of being fed with crumbs again.

“Thanks,” Tony says, he passes through Steve to wash his now empty mug. “I really appreciate it. I didn’t think you would take me in after that party.”

Steve comes to his side, a frown on his face.

“What? Why?”

“I-I embarrassed you in front of everyone. I literally threw up on your shoes, then I--” Tony stutters nervously because he always feels nervous next to Steve. The blond always gives him butterflies in the stomach, he just can’t help it.

“Oh, no. Why,” Steve shakes his head, looking confused. “Why would you think that, Tony? You almost passed out. You leaned on me all the way back. Why would you think I was mad at you?”

“Why would you not?” Tony blurted out. “You took me to my house, and I--” Tony breathes deeply. “I thought I had embarrassed you in front of your friends, I made a scene, and I told you--” he stutters. “I-I didn’t want to make it weird to you. I understand if you--” Tony shakes his head, gulping. He couldn't help but frown when Steve laughed.

“I was more worried about you than embarrassed. Trust me, Tony. You didn’t call me to tell me you were okay the next morning. I was worried. You didn’t answer my calls either. I thought you had changed your mind about what you said,” Steve sounds… sorrowful.

Tony blinks. He really thought Steve was mad at him, he really thought… Did he really misunderstand it all? It wasn’t possible, right? Steve was just being his usual self, kind and nice. He couldn’t really...

“Wait, you…” Tony points to Steve.

“You didn’t embarrass me,” Steve shrugs. “I love you, too. I called to tell you that but you didn’t answer me.”

“I--”

Tony wraps his arms around Steve’s neck, tiptoeing to reach his lips, aware of Steve’s hands sliding to his waist to support him. Tony tastes the hot chocolate in Steve’s mouth, and it somehow suits him because Steve smells like home. Everything about Steve is cozy, lovely, and adorable. Tony feels a warmth flowing through his body, the feeling of safety invades him. He knows he can trust Steve, somehow, he knows, he wants to believe that Steve will not abandon him. Perhaps, that’s a love that he can let himself get attached to.

Steve breaks the kiss, still keeping Tony in his tight embrace.

Tony rests his head against Steve’s chest. “You can stay for as long as you need, Tony,” Steve kisses the top of his head. “It’ll be okay. You’re gonna be okay.”