freshqueendelusion
fabulous, idiotic and struggling
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freshqueendelusion · 11 months ago
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i'm desperate
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freshqueendelusion · 1 year ago
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im not superstitious but............
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freshqueendelusion · 1 year ago
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omg hi if you like seventeen/listen to seventeen casually etc please rb this post this isn't a great statistical survey but just a general idea to see how big caratblr is 😭
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freshqueendelusion · 1 year ago
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currently reading husky and his white cat shizun and if this line isn't shua during his mad episodes
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freshqueendelusion · 1 year ago
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this is amazing................. Please update soon i so want to know what happens next
This is War (Prologue + Masterlist)
An SVT Leaders Series
Genre: dystopian!AU, war!AU.
Warnings: Violence, war, general death and devastation, character deaths, sexual themes (no explicit smut, only implication), very dark themes overall, slow burn and plot-heavy.
Characters: Woozi x female!reader, Hoshi x female!reader and S.Coups x female!reader (The readers are not the same person).
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Prologue
Air Strike Zero marked the beginning of the War.
The Empire had not been prepared for the sudden and absolute devastation caused by the aerial attacks. The ground shook, and explosives rained from the sky. People died in the streets. Crops were destroyed and buildings collapsed. 
When the deafening sounds finally stopped, three days later, all that remained was blood and rubble.
The Empire was under attack. The democratic government had collapsed. The borders had been breached, and most of the population was dead. In one devastating blow, everything about the world had changed. 
Then the military took over. 
The announcements came soon after the dead had been buried, and all hope seemed to be lost. The survivors lived in constant terror of further attacks. Who were these invaders and what did they want? Nobody seemed to know anything. 
Finally Major-General Yang, the commander of the Empire’s armed forces, spoke up. The government has failed us, Major-General Yang explained, and we are at war. 
It was the military’s turn to protect the citizens of the Empire. Martial law was declared, and civil rights were suspended. Food would be rationed. All able-bodied young men were required to report to Military Base 2 and 3 to help protect the borders and control the internal strife. Curfews would be enforced. People found stealing, absconding or breaking the law in any form were to be shot dead on sight. 
Unity. Order. Peace.
The Empire was reborn as a military state.
This is War.
featuring...
Choi Seungcheol as the Rebel
Lee Jihoon as the Soldier
Kwon Soonyoung as the Sacrifice
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Chapters:
The Soldier I
The Sacrifice I (coming in the first week of August)
The Rebel I (coming soon)
Recommended Listening:
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freshqueendelusion · 1 year ago
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my current fav ff
𝐬𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐠𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐬
model!choi chanhee x fem!assistant!reader
you were just supposed to be his assistant, but at some point, you'd come to mean a lot more to him.
6.4k words (WHOOPS my hand slipped), technically s2l, fluff, angst if u squint, slight pining?, kissing, model stuff and first world problems 😔✨, like one curse word, barely proofread
a/n: istg it wasn't supposed to be like this ;-; it would have been longer but i got impatient </3
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Choi Chanhee had once made a girl cry because she had forgotten his phone in the car. In his defense, he hadn't gotten much shuteye the night prior, but Kevin liked to always remind him of that instance.
They said that was the first, true moment the tabloids began painting him in a new light.
'Choi Chanhee, Model-zilla, Hits the Streets of Paris for Fashion Week Once Again'. 'Choi Chanhee's Ex-assistants Come Forward with Shocking Experiences'. 'Satin or Silk: the Truth Behind New's Refusal to Wear Alexander McQueen'.
The last one didn't even make sense; Alexander McQueen only used silk, anyway, and Chanhee had walked in one of his shows a few years ago. Chanhee simply hadn't the time to pen the designer into his schedule since.
The one about assistants? Well, they were all entitled to free speech, but that didn't mean that he would spare them any mercy if they decided to blatantly lie about him. He could always trust Lee Sangyeon, his personal attorney, to take care of business, if and when any of his ex-employees decided that a good payout was comparable to spewing filth.
Then there was you.
Chanhee hadn't needed a new assistant in a little over half a year since you came along. Fresh out of university with a bachelor's in communication and punctuality, you waltzed into his life, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. You'd sat across from him, no-nonsense; he hired you right there. (He had not regretted it since. This was the last time he would let anyone but himself do the interview process.)
The best part about you was not that you always had his schedule memorized before he did, or that you appeared at his apartment before the car picked you both up with his favorite coffee order, or that you actually had decent taste in perfume—not… that he paid attention to what perfume you wore—but it was the fact that you could look him in the eye when he spoke to you, and you to him.
"—and you have a fitting with Chanel at five o'clock this evening right after that meeting with Maison Margiela about the perfume line. We'll have just enough time to—"
Wow, your eyes were pretty in this lighting, he thought. The two of you sat before the massive, floor-to-ceiling window in his penthouse apartment. The entire city laid sprawling at your feet while you sat across from each other at his breakfast table, eating blueberry muffins and drinking lattes.
And for some reason, all he could think about was how nice your hair looked again today, how brilliantly the shine in your eyes was from the sunlight, how impeccable your fashion sense was—even if it wasn't perfect, but that could easily be remedied. Chanhee would have to remind you to remind him to—
"Chanhee. Chanhee, are you listening to me?"
He snapped out with a flutter of his long eyelashes. He reached for his cup of coffee, delicately bringing it to his lips. "Hm? Of course, Maison and then Chanel. Did Changmin cancel our dinner or are we still on?"
A smirk pulled at the corner of his lips when he saw how your expression lightened knowing that he was paying attention. You idly stirred your latte around with a little silver spoon. "He says he's still good to go for tonight. Same place, same time."
A nod. "Good."
He nudged up the Prada sunglasses on his nose as he turned his head slightly to gaze out the open window. It was an awfully beautiful day out today. The sunlight was gentle, the skies were an azure wave of silk, sewn with clouds of white. "Yn, dearest, are we clear until the Maison meeting?"
You blinked. "Yes," you answered, checking your watch for the hour, "it's 10:32 right now."
"Mm, that gives us about five hours to refresh your wardrobe."
Your lips parted, and he smiled in amusement. There was something so adorable about your flustered state. "Excuse me?"
"Call it a little token of my appreciation," he sang, standing up from the table to deposit his empty plate and cup into the kitchen sink. "Could you call the driver to round the front?"
"Oh, uh, sure—"
"Thanks, love. I'll be back in a few," he called to you just as he disappeared into his bedroom to freshen up. You were left at the breakfast table, dumbfounded. You'd only ever gone shopping with Chanhee for him or for someone else. Not you. You were always on the clock when you were with him, and you figured he would probably take everything you bought today out of your paycheck, but…
You couldn't deny the flutter of excitement in your chest like the wings of a butterfly. This could either be the best thing that happened to you… or a complete shitshow.
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There was something odd about walking into one of Chanhee's go-to leisure shopping stores—Dior—with the mindset that you were supposed to be shopping for yourself. Chanhee had asked the driver to pull up to the Dior storefront even as the regular paparazzi camped outside.
Your eyes gazed longingly at the Macy's across the mall.
Chanhee followed your gaze with a little scrunch of his nose. "Absolutely not," he clicked his tongue, dragging you out of the vehicle and to the sidewalk.
The press already dubbed you a "miracle" for being in his employ for longer than a day. But when they got shots of him literally hauling you into the Dior… you could imagine what they would all claim now. This was going to be a whole lot of cleanup, but you had learned after months of working with Chanhee that he was way tougher than he looked. He also didn't mind biting back.
When the two of you were safely stowed away within the guarded interior of Dior, you breathed easier.
Straightening, you greeted the staff members with a shallow bow, who did the same to both you and your boss.
Chanhee wiggled his fingers in silent greeting, then beelined for a white, quilted blazer on a mannequin. A worker scrambled after him to talk about the piece while another stuck by your side to make small conversation.
"How was your morning?" They asked you pleasantly.
"Oh, it was quite nice! How was yours?"
"Pretty quiet," they smiled. They were about to say something else when both of you were interrupted with Chanhee calling your name.
His eyes were pinned to you from over the rim of his sunglasses. Draped over his arm was a tapered coat of some sort, a dress, and… oh, god no. "Yn, come here."
You could already hear your wallet crying. "Chanhee, I literally cannot afford a single thing in here—"
He pressed a palm between your shoulder blades and steered you in the direction of the dressing rooms. "That's besides the point because I can afford them; that's what matters."
Surprise made your footing falter. "Huh?"
"Silly Yn-ie," he teased, "did you think I was gonna bring you all the way out here to not treat you?" Before you could say anything else, he was shoving the items into your arms, and your body into the grandiose space of the Dior dressing room. He winked over his glasses. "Now hurry and put them on. I wanna see!"
He ripped the curtain closed, and you stood there for a moment.
In your hands were the jacket, the dress, and a pair of shoes that probably cost you more than your entire bank account combined. You blew out a puff of air, just as you heard a staff member offer him a glass of champagne on the other side of the curtain.
"No getting out of this, Yn," you muttered to yourself, then began hanging everything up."
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Chanhee was no stranger to the effect he had on people. In fact, he wielded it like a dagger. It was how he had gotten so far in this industry in the first place other than his immaculate good looks, of course. The face of an angel and an attitude of the devil—at least, that was what one article had said about him. He quite liked it, actually.
There was something wholly different about his effect on you as you stood beneath his scrutinizing, heated gaze, as you tried on piece upon piece. He loved being able to unabashedly stare at you, to take in your flustered expression as you did little spins for him in the outfit of choice. For once, you couldn't look him in the eye, and when you had done so once, it had been when his tongue darted out to wet his lips.
It wasn't just the champagne he was tasting.
It was the next morning when you appeared in his home at 7 o'clock sharp, as usual, but with a new accessory hanging off your arm. It was one of the more low-key purses he had bought you yesterday—and to be honest, it was actually one of his personal favorites. It was a Chanel one, of course, and it complimented your pant suit quite nicely.
"Morning," you chirped, handing him his cup of coffee as he stumbled out of his room in a silk robe and with a yawn widening his mouth.
Chanhee smiled at the sight of you, graciously accepting the coffee from you. He leaned against the countertop next to you. "Good morning," he murmured lowly, peering at you over the rim of the cup, taking a languid sip.
He sighed as the caffeine began working its magic. "How are you this morning, dearest? Have a good night?"
You had set your purse down on the island, then moved away from him only to go check his refrigerator to see if he needed anything restocked. Always so attentive. "I had a good night. How was dinner with Changmin?"
"Lovely," he said fondly. "I see you are putting my gifts to use." His fingers danced along the gold chain draped along one end of the quilted leather.
He swore your cheeks flushed, but then again, his eyes had never tricked him for a second. "Ah, yes. Thank you so much for yesterday, by the way." The fridge closed softly, and you grabbed an apple from the basket on the counter to wash and munch on. "I really don't know how I can repay you—"
Chanhee dismissed you immediately, his wrist flicking outward. "Pfft, none of that. I told you it was all a token of my affection," he grinned, propping his chin onto his palm across the island counter from you. "And gratitude," he added. "I don't say this to just anyone, Yn, and I don't buy just anyone all that stuff—but I did it because I appreciate you."
Your chewing slowed and you swallowed. "Oh."
He said it so easily. God, was he lucky to have met you.
Knowing he had successfully rendered you speechless once more, he laughed lightly, deciding to change the subject. "What's today's schedule like?"
You immediately straightened; this was something you knew like the back of your hand. It was much more up your alley.
As you ran him through his activities today, you failed to notice the difference in his posture, the softer smile on his face, and the way his eyes could not leave you for a moment, not even to drink his coffee.
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Grueling was an understatement. Today had been one of the worst days of your working existence under Chanhee's employ. You'd endured rough days and nights before, but today, it seemed to have been hassle after hassle after hassle. You probably got around thirty-thousand steps by how much you ran around trying to find emergency kits and emergency outfits and running to the emergency dry cleaner's.
As much as the fashion world enthralled you, sometimes you wondered how anyone could survive it.
Chanhee was just as maxed out as you were by the end. It was maybe three in the morning by the time the two of you collapsed into the backseat of his driver's car. Streets were barren at this time in the ungodly hours of morning, and your joints ached every time you breathed.
Chanhee was quiet as well as he leaned his head back against the headrest to allow his body some rest. He just barely managed to get through that last shoot—clearly the directors had no clue what they were doing, he thought with a dead look in his eyes. That was how he felt—dead. If it hadn't been for you swooping in with a creative direction…
You were brilliant; that much he was certain of. Without you, that shoot might have dragged on for another couple of hours, or Chanhee would have just walked out. Usually, he had a good sense and eye for things, but with everything that happened today, for once, he didn't have the energy to yell or direct.
He needed to treat you to brunch tomorrow, if he was even able to wake up in time—
His inner thoughts halted when he felt a sudden weight fall upon his left shoulder. He froze up.
Your head had slumped onto his shoulder, eyes closed and no doubt deep asleep. Your bangs had fallen out from the bounds of your ponytail and draped across your face as you slept. He could smell the Miss Dior on you with this proximity.
Chanhee smiled to himself, taking his other hand and brushing the hair from your face and gently caressing your cheek. "Cute," he murmured.
By the time the car rolled to a stop in front of his complex, Chanhee had made a couple of executive decisions.
He lightly roused you from your sleep, cooing into your ear, "Come on, Yn-ie. Let's get you to bed, hm?"
You hummed, lifting your head from his shoulder with a yawn. You rubbed your eye with no care for the makeup smudging. "Chanhee? Why're you still here?"
Normally, the driver would drop Chanhee off first and then you, especially when it came to late nights like this. But… what… was happening?
Chanhee helped you out of the car, thanking the driver while mustering up a kind smile for him. "You're too tired, love. I'm taking you upstairs to my place."
"Wait, I can't—" but you weren't physically protesting; your body ached and ached and ached. But this was your boss, your employer. This wasn't professional.
"Yn, you're exhausted," he countered, buzzing into the building and helping you inside.
You couldn't argue with him anymore. You just wanted your face to hit a pillow and be out for the night. "Okay," you mumbled, letting him press your face into his shoulder on the ride up the elevator.
"Good girl," he sighed. He tilted his head back against the elevator wall, one arm wrapped around your middle and the other cradling the back of your head. Just a little longer, then the both of you could finally get some well-deserved rest.
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You would argue you had seen Choi Chanhee at some of his best and worst moments. He was one of the most beautiful human beings on this planet, and yet, none of the prior moments could even compare to when you stumbled out of his bedroom to the sight of his back to you as he fried eggs and ladled waffle batter into the maker in the kitchen. He had a big T-shirt hanging from his lean frame, as well as a pair of loose pajama pants on, and he crossed his arms over his chest as he waited for everything to cook.
Even at ten in the morning, the light pink waves of his hair looked immaculately styled. You almost forgot he hadn't gotten a perm in awhile.
The panic of waking up in his sheets instead of yours had faded when you recalled your conversation with him just seven hours prior. He had managed to wrestle you into an extra set of sleepwear he just had lying around (Gucci, nonetheless), before he deposited you onto his bed, then promptly curled up outside on the living room couch.
You swallowed. Now what?
It was then that Chanhee turned around with an innocent look on his face. You watched as it melted into something softer at the sight of you. "Good morning, dearest," he beamed, "sleep well?"
Drowsiness lingered at the corners of your eyes, but you somehow managed a nod. "Yeah, how about you?" You asked him quietly. Actually, that had been some of the best sleep you'd ever had. Something about his sheets with high thread count and the smell of Chanhee lingering on everything. But you weren't just about to say that to him.
"Well enough," he replied. He waved you over. "Come sit; breakfast is almost ready."
Your eyes widened a smidge. That was for you? Now you really needed to go home. "Ah, I appreciate it, but I've practically overstayed my welcome—"
He sent you a look. "Yn, come have breakfast with me."
You caved. Because at this point, you'd already screwed yourself over. And breakfast really did smell nice; what was the difference between Chanhee making you breakfast and you bringing him breakfast from the café down the street?
(You didn't even want to go home, as much as your logical brain was trying to urge you towards.)
So the two of you breakfasted, and for a moment, you could forget, for once, that you were just supposed to be his assistant.
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Some things changed after that morning, and Chanhee found himself getting you to stay over more and more often. Even if he had to come up with something stupid like "You haven't watched the 2001 New York Fashion Week rerun?" For some reason, you bought into all his excuses, and even though he knew it was probably because you were always attentive to his needs, a part of him liked to fantasize that you felt it, too.
The pull.
Something had shifted after that morning when he made you breakfast and the two of you ate together at the breakfast table. Sleep had lingered in your eyes, and your hair was a mess, but it was soft and beautiful and… he'd never been so in awe at someone's "I woke up like this" look.
His heart had leapt at the sight of you in those pajamas with that subtle pout to your lips.
God, he thought he might sweep you into his arms and kiss y—
"New. Chanhee. Choi Chanhee—"
He blinked, lifting his eyes from his menu to meet Changmin's. "Hm?"
Changmin wrinkled his nose at him, adjusting the sunglasses seated atop his head to hang from the collar of his dress shirt. (How it managed to hang with two buttons popped open, Chanhee chalked it up to fashion magic.) "You're awfully quiet today. What, tabloids finally shut you up?" He joked.
Chanhee rolled his eyes. "One of these days, I swear, they will render me speechless with their ridiculous delusions," he muttered airily, half-heartedly skimming the menu again.
He and Changmin were seated at their usual booth in their usual restaurant at their usual time. It was their weekly dinner together, something they had kept up since their university days in order to keep themselves grounded. They, of course, touched base with all of their university friends often, but the two of them were two peas in a pod. They even refused to let Sunwoo in on these weekly dinners specifically (something the younger friend was undoubtedly salty about).
Changmin could figure out when Chanhee was occupied with something other than the present. Usually, he was all up and out of his seat dealing out gossip or what torture he and you had been… oh.
Changmin cocked his head to the side, nostrils flaring slightly as he tried and failed to suppress a sly smile. "How's Yn these days?" He asked nonchalantly, lowering his eyes to the menu in front of him even though he always got the same thing every time.
To his credit, Chanhee didn't even react. "She's lovely as always. Why do you ask?"
"I dunno," Changmin drawled, "you haven't gushed about her like you usually do. I feel like you hang out with her more than me."
Chanhee raised a brow at his friend. "She's my assistant; of course I'm going to spend more time with her."
"Yeah, but—"
"And she's a lot more agreeable most of the time."
"Hey!"
Chanhee grinned in impish delight. "You asked."
Changmin sent him a stink eye, huffing as he raised his hand up to summon a waiter. "Yeah, whatever. Okay, but you literally refused to go out with me the other night, and when I texted Yn if you had a schedule, she said that you two were at home!"
That got his attention. Chanhee pursed his lips together, sheepishness peering through his smile. "In my defense, she hadn't seen New York Fashion Week in 2001."
"You hated that year, Chanhee."
"Exactly."
Changmin sighed to himself, and just as he was about to add on, a waiter came by to take their order. Once that was done, Changmin laced his fingers over the table and leveled his friend with a pointed look.
"Just admit that you like her."
Oh, Changmin. If only you could hear the rapid palpitations of his heart when you called him out like that. Chanhee blinked innocently. "I have no idea what you're talking about," he swallowed.
It wasn't even two days later that Chanhee had you staying a little later at his place, once again. There was something jazzy and vibey playing in the background, while Chanhee finished up plating dinner and rolling up the sleeves of his dress shirt. You were over at the small table by the window pouring wine into twin glasses, your hair pulled haphazardly out of your face (for the most part) with a pearl-studded claw clip from Chanhee's personal PR box.
(You blatantly refused, but he then reminded you that he couldn't even use the clip himself.)
Chanhee didn't often think about sharing his life with someone, but it was moments like these—moments when he heard you hum under your breath, moments when the two of you could laugh about the day over dinner, moments when you weren't just his assistant but someone closer—that he could indulge himself. He wasn't a very domestic person; since childhood, he dreamed of places far away from home, seeing sights and experiencing cultures… but if he could come home to you? And experience this every time?
Suddenly dinner was over, and you were collecting dirty dishware and glasses to bring to the sink to wash.
"Yn-ie, hey, I can wash those—"
"No, no! You made dinner; I am washing dishes," you asserted, pushing him away from the sink when he tried to come up to you.
Chanhee broke into a laugh, coming up behind you to set his hands on your shoulders and rub the upper parts of your arms. "Okay, okay. Thanks, love," he said. He didn't even think before he pressed a kiss to your cheek and walked off to go to the bathroom.
Your cheek tingled where his lips had been, and you turned the faucet on to drown out the thrumming of your heartbeat in your ears. What was happening?
You felt like you were floating on air as you hummed to the music and washed the dishes, with the ghost of Chanhee's lips left lingering on your cheek. It served as a reminder of your growing affections for him. This was dangerous, dangerous territory, and yet… it was thrilling. It was new, bold, and delectable. It was Chanhee, for goodness sake.
He was the man you saw crying drunkenly over a cat video on TikTok, the man who lended you Gucci pajamas and his bed for the night. He was on the face of every magazine cover, always excited when you could read his mind about a certain piece of clothing. Everyone in the world wanted to be him or be with him. He was so out of reach, yet right in front of you.
Maybe it was the wine making your head buzz with this wave of unmitigated sentimentality.
You finished up with the dishes, drying off your hands with the towel hanging on the oven door. Chanhee sang your name out from somewhere deep inside his bedroom, and you followed his voice to his location.
He was seated on the rug in the middle of his walk-in closet, the white LEDs washing you with light. It was a far cry from the darkness of his bedroom and the warmth from the kitchen. Chanhee patted the spot next to him on the carpet, where he had a smattering of PR gifts littering the floor around him.
Curious, you lowered yourself next to him. "Are we sorting through PR stuff?" You asked, already making a mental catalog of all the things he'd probably want to keep and the things he'd want to donate.
Chanhee hummed his dissent, rising onto his knees and shuffling over to you. Your eyes widened as he stopped close to you and you held your breath. He raised a pair of twin diamond drop earrings from Tiffany and Co to your earlobes, eyes narrowed in consideration.
"No," he muttered, dumping the earrings into their box, then digging out another.
You scrambled to delicately put the earrings back into their proper holdings. "Chanhee, what are we doing?"
"You—" Chanhee returned with a pair of sapphire earrings this time, performing the same ritual as before, but this time smiling, "—are going to sit still and look pretty for me. I am going through the PR stuff for anything nice."
"Anything nice?" You parroted in disbelief. It wasn't like he just threw a pair of diamond earrings into a box like it wasn't nice, or anything.
"I've never seen you in pearls before," he said offhandedly. From a black velvet bag, he withdrew a string of pearls clasped at the end in gold. His mouth parted in awe, and you suddenly thought of how cute he looked. Chanhee, oftentimes, was attractive and elegant and spellbinding—but this Chanhee was adorable.
He eyeballed it around your neck, then moved to clasp the collar onto you. He brushed the stray strands of hair away from the nape of your neck, gently grazing the pads of his fingers along the warm skin there. The action sent a shudder down your spine, and you were reminded of the cheek kiss from earlier.
"There," he murmured, coming back around to inspect you from the front. "Looks much better on you than it would on me."
You scoffed, reaching up to touch the cool pearls seated on your collarbone. "I disagree wholeheartedly."
He had turned around to go digging again, but the grin he threw over his shoulder at you was a certified heart stopper. "Then we'll just have to go get me a matching one."
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"This is the last time I'm letting a company get me lunch," Chanhee grimaced as both you and he feverishly dabbed at the sauce splattered on his cream silk blouse.
One of the interns working on today's interview and shoot had come to deliver him his lunch when you noticed that the sauce lid on top was a dark red and not the usual light mayo Chanhee always requested beforehand. That, as well as the fact that the lid wasn't fastened all the way. Suffice to say that when you were about to point it out, said intern became flustered at Chanhee's side profile and spilled his lunch onto him.
You made sure to send the intern away before Chanhee could react.
"This was the Burberry one Haknyeonie got me," he whimpered in devastation as he took in the mess of dark brownish-red on his chest.
"Hey, it's okay. The cleaner I usually go to can fix it up," you said, biting your lip and assessing the situation. You gave a sigh, straightening, then swiping at the dampness on your forehead. "For now, you'll have to change into something else."
Chanhee pouted. "I promised I would wear this one for the interview…" He glanced back over at the clothing rack in the far corner of the dressing room at the dozens of options he had, as well as the backups you had brought, when all he wanted was to wear the shirt Haknyeon had given to him.
You wondered how long you had until the interview. You wondered how fast you could run to the dry cleaners and how fast they could fix this, if only to make that pout on Chanhee's face go away.
He pursed his lips. "I'll change into the YSL one," he resolved, standing from his vanity chair to go grab the YSL blouse from its garment bag. "Y'know," he said to you as he disappeared behind the changing divider, "we'll probably see something about this in the tabloids sometime tomorrow, depending on how bored the press people are."
You leaned back against the vanity counter, mentally noting the time. Hair and makeup would be here soon since the interview was set for half past noon. Chanhee would have to wait until afterwards before he could eat lunch. You frowned, "It wasn't your fault, Chanhee."
"I know." You saw him drape the dirtied Burberry blouse over the top of the divider and you walked over to take it down and inspect the damage yourself. "But it doesn't have to be my fault."
Unfortunately, he was right. The press would do anything for a juicy story, even if that meant twisting the facts just a little. You abhorred those stories; you always saw Chanhee's eyes glaze over like a shield at the "model-zilla" headlines, when in fact, it had little to do with Chanhee's "attitude". You wondered if someone would blow up his reaction to this out of proportion—he hadn't said anything to the intern before they ran out of the room in tears, but you supposed if you had spilled coffee on someone with as much name power as Chanhee, then you would also freak out.
"I'm sorry," you said quietly, leaning slightly against the divider. A weight sank into the pit of your gut; you felt pathetic. These were one of the few things you couldn't just fix for him.
You thought you felt him lean back against the divider on the other side. "Nothing to be sorry for, dearest. It's just a shirt."
It wasn't just a shirt. It wasn't just the tabloids.
Chanhee, being the professional he was, carried on through the interview and subsequent photoshoot with elegance and grace. He wasn't in a bad mood, save for the slight melancholy in his smile when the intern's superior came by to apologize profusely and offer to have the blouse dry-cleaned for him. Chanhee politely declined—he only trusted one person with his items.
When you and Chanhee finally made it back to his penthouse suite, the sun had disappeared into the seams of the horizon, hoisting a bejeweled night into the sky. Chanhee collapsed onto the couch face-first while you dropped everything on the floor by the door and made a beeline for the refrigerator.
"I'm making tea," you declared.
Chanhee raised his head slightly. "Me too please."
You got the electric kettle started and brought out two porcelain mugs. While you waited for the water to finish boiling, you fished your phone out of your pocket to check your messages to see if the dry cleaners had alerted you yet as to the status of the blouse. On the way back, you had swung by to get the shirt to the dry cleaners. Hopefully it would be done by tomorrow morning so you could go pick it up.
Chanhee shifted and adjusted his positioning on the couch. He sat upright, leaning his cheek against his fist. "Yn-ie."
"Hm?"
"I'm lonely over here."
You huffed air out of your nostrils in a silent chuckle, but obliged him and went over to the couch. He raised his arms up toward you, making grabby hands and pouting. "You're lonely?" You repeated in amusement, slotting yourself next to him and allowing him to curl into your side.
"Well, not anymore," he said into your shoulder.
The apartment filled with the sound of water bubbling on the stove and the muffled sounds of the city outside the window.
With nothing said, you could imagine for a second that this was not your job, but your life instead.
You felt him move a little, his arms wrapping around your stomach. "Thank you," he murmured, "for everything."
Your chest tightened. "Of course," you replied simply. Because doing all of this for him was as easy as breathing air now. Taking care of him had become as easy as breathing air. It was just that simple.
He was quiet again, fingers fidgeting with the cuffs of your blazer. Something lingered in his mind.
"Yn…" He slowly brought himself to sit up straight, one hand braced on the cushion space between your bodies and the other on the back of the couch. His face was so close—you could see the baby pink hairs falling in his eyes, the bits of glitter on his eyelids, the length of his lashes brushing his cheeks. But there was something wobbling, shimmering in his irises like the ripples in a pool of water. "I think we need to talk."
Your voice was trapped in your throat. He was going to fire you. He was going to tell you that all of it had been a lie. He was going to—stop. Stop freaking out. You knew him. You knew him better than what the people on the outside only claimed to know about him. You gulped. "Okay."
Chanhee brought his hand up toward your face, but instead stopped short, his hand dropping. He wet his lip, head ducking for a second before meeting your eyes again. "You know how much I appreciate everything you do for me, right?"
Oh no.
You nodded shallowly, hands clasped in your lap. "Mhm."
"And you know that I would rather hurt myself before ever hurting you?"
You didn't like where this was going. "Chanhee—"
His eyes shuddered. "Just—just listen for a second. I promise I'll let you speak, just… I just need to get this out."
"I can't really think straight," you croaked. His cologne—god his cologne. You would die suffocating in his cologne, but he was so close and yet so out of reach.
You thought you saw hurt flash across his face. "Oh. Uh, I'm sorry—" He was leaning back now, and you were internally hitting yourself. You'd never heard Choi Chanhee stutter before.
You resisted the urge to say "come back". Come back, where you could pretend that he was yours. Shit, this had gone too far. "Chanhee, I think I have to quit."
Alarm shot his eyes wide open. "What?"
"I can't keep working for you because I have feelings for you," you blurted, staring him straight in the eyes. "I have to quit because the feelings—the want—I have for you are so strong and precariously unprofessional. And I'm sorry, because this was the best job I could've ever gotten, but—"
Chanhee grabbed your face and crushed his mouth to yours, effectively shutting you up. Shock had you freezing, but it wasn't long before you held him close and let him wholly devour you.
When he pulled away, his forehead was pressed against yours, the space between your lips near nonexistent. His hands were still cupping the sides of your face and his breathing was slightly labored; all either of you could feel, hear, smell, taste were each other.
"I love you," he whispered, almost inaudibly you thought you'd imagined it. But then he said it again, "I love you", and everything…
Everything settled.
"How could you?" After all, you were just… you. It seemed impossible that someone as high as he was could love someone like you.
His reply was simple, paired with a sweet return to your lips. "How could I not?"
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You stood outside the massive, sky-piercing high-rise of Vogue headquarters, your heart pounding in your ears and your fingers drumming nervously against the seam of your dress pants. In about twenty minutes, you would be in the topmost office of the building interviewing for a chance to become CEO Anna Wintour's newest personal assistant.
"Well?"
You glanced over to your left where Chanhee stepped beside you, asking the driver to make a loop around the building and meet him back here in a few minutes. His hair, freshly dyed a silken midnight black, had grown slightly to mullet-length; and this morning, he was clad in a pristine white suit set in a classy contrast. A pearl collar sat on his defined collarbones like it was a throne. Beautiful, as always.
There were reporters lurking around here somewhere. That definitely didn't make any of this better for you.
You released a breath. "I've got this, right?"
He passed you a gentle, yet teasing grin. "Hey, you survived me. How much worse can she be?"
That made you crack a smile.
The two of you stood side by side staring up at the building for a moment longer. After you had quit being his assistant to instead be accepted as his partner, you and Chanhee worked to find you a new gig. You received about a hundred dozen job offers from lesser brands and big names when they all heard you were leaving Chanhee's employ on good terms. Anyone who survived Chanhee, and left with a stellar recommendation letter, was a hot commodity.
Chanhee reached for your hand, squeezing your fingers slightly. "Breathe, darling. You'll be in and out and hired before you know it."
He turned you around so you faced him. His tongue stuck out between his lips as he adjusted the pearl necklace around your throat, then the lapels of your jacket. "Wow," he breathed out.
"Huh?" You hummed with a smile in your eyes.
"You still take my breath away."
A nervous laugh fell from your lips, and Chanhee swooped in to taste it—that, your laugh.
"I love you," he murmured against your mouth. Nevermind all the press and paparazzi, or Anna Wintour, or anyone. This was just you and him, even for a little. You could imagine the headlines, but that was the last thing on your mind right now.
Your tongue swiped over his bottom lip to catch the last bits of him. "I love you, too."
There was a cunning glint in his eyes, offset by the soft smile on his face. "Okay, this is it. Call me if you need anything."
You began walking toward the entrance backwards. "What if I need you?"
His smile widened. "I said call me, didn't I? Anytime, anywhere." I'm yours.
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tbz m.list
permanent taglist: @tayunji @im-a-big-mess @honeyhuii @y3jiishot @crazywittysassy @seomisaho @stopeatread @enhacolor @rnjfy @jaehunnyy @kpopjackie @spiderrenjunfics @soobin-chois @mingiholic @ja4hyvn @ethereal-engene @justalildumpling @vatterie @yogurteume @kflixnet
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freshqueendelusion · 1 year ago
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Reblog if you think it’s okay to platonically say “I Love You” to your friends
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freshqueendelusion · 2 years ago
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it's things like these that make you cry and understand you mother's value
It bothers me how my mother doesn’t have friends. Her friends are her husband’s friend’s wives, and her kids’ friends’ parents. We tease her for relaying every mundane detail of her life to her sister, but I wonder how she’d have survived without having her to call everyday, to talk to, to confide in. Probably like how a lot of mothers in this culture survive, an unenviable, thankless existence, believing that their sole purpose is nurture their kids, to drain themselves in order to nourish them, to win the ‘never put yourself first’, and the ‘sacrificed their entire life for others’ awards, counting themselves lucky for the ‘freedom’ they get under their husband that they didn’t have under their father, feeling guilt when their husband washes an extra plate, and gratification in mother’s day cards. She’d survive, one day at a time, until there’s no more kids to care for, no more husband to look after, and then she’ll look within herself, and try to piece together the long-forgotten fragments of the person she used to be, the person she wasn’t allowed to be, the person that was nipped in the bud before she could blossom by a catch called marriage.
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freshqueendelusion · 2 years ago
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Today's Janmashtami and I am stanning/fangirling over how beautiful Krishna is. Not just his physical demeanour but how your Chaotic good and human he is!
His life is full of drama which he himself created which is like ultimate God energy. He is playing the games along with humans which he himself has created and who does that! Just his name is enough to bring a smile to your face; not with fear, not with respect, but with just Love.
Who else is worshipped in every form from child, to a teenager, to adulthood and even his supreme personality. Who has been worshipped for being so cunning yet cute. Krishna is so adored (atleast by me) is because he does not feel like this ideal God everyone washes the feet & fears for. He is the most friendliest person I could have known and I haven't even met him! Krishna is human, an ideal one but that is what makes him the supreme God. Everyone relates to every stage of his life. There is like an apt lesson in his life which even we as flawed humans can apply to ourselves which I haven't found with any other God.
When I was a child, he used to be my companion.
When I was a teenager, he used to be my muse.
Now when I am an adult, he is my best friend.
Throughout my life, he has been my guide.
For me he isn't just lord Krishna. He isn't just a supreme personality but he is my comfort, my solace, my friend and ultimately my escape.
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freshqueendelusion · 2 years ago
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Inheritance Games fans: *simping over Grayson and Jameson*
Me: *vibing in the corner with Xander, a Rube Goldberg machine, and a plate of scones*
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freshqueendelusion · 2 years ago
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no thoughts just facts
everyone: you like him why don't you talk to him?
me: bhai unka naam sun ke mera phat jaata hai, talab ke sabse cool machhli hain wo
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freshqueendelusion · 2 years ago
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literally me and my friends
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THE throuple dynamic.
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freshqueendelusion · 2 years ago
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Cynthia Cruz, from “Diagnosis,” The Glimmering Room.
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freshqueendelusion · 2 years ago
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something she would say and something i 100% relate to
Charlotte: Someone asked me "how are you going to tell your crush that you like him?"
Charlotte: Easy, I'm not.
Charlotte: I'm just going to stare at him and fantasize without ever making a move until I die.
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freshqueendelusion · 2 years ago
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more people need to see this
@/maxhovey on tiktok
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freshqueendelusion · 2 years ago
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i am superstitious
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freshqueendelusion · 2 years ago
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but why so accurate???????
alsoooooooooooooooooo yes pls let me know how to make masterlists too and how to edit your bio
i am a hag in genz body
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someone pls let me know how to make masterlists so i can make a few. pls, i'm so stupid, i beg.
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