#if you cant communicate and/or do your job why the fuck did we hire you

[solstheimtxt]

Its getting to that point to maybe i should ask for a transfer at work again methinks 😭😭

[thoughtsbeewild]

This is exactly why i don't want to hear anything from the other side, but fuck I did. Woke celebrity paid rapper PLIES is on a hateful rant on X preaching why we shouldn't question queen Kamala running for president, guess what throws the race card, but i aint voting for white man..always throwing identity politic card BS

Goes on video in ghetto hood slang, dont be asking a black woman son about why she running for president. Motherfuckers I aint trying vote for a white man..

my question to him is WTF NATIONALITY IS JOE BIDEN OR QUEEN KAMALA RUNNING MATE MR. TAMPON TIMMY IS ..WHITE AS HELL.. what about our other former presidents, white as hell too.

I HATE THAT FROM THE DEMONCRATS, I HAD TO WORK FOR A LEADER WHO WE DARE QUESTION THIS QUEEN DIRECTOR AND HER PUPPET FRIEND SUPERVISOR WHO BEEN WITH THE COMPANY FOR 6 MONTHS ALL HELL WITH UNLEASH..I FUCKING HATE IT. IT IS FUCKING ABSOLUTE TORTURE TO RISE UP MORE LEADERS WHO WE DARE CANT QUESTION. MY COOL MANAGER WAS SO HAPPY I STOOD UP FOR MYSELF AND RESIGN, MGR EVEN SAID I CANT BELIEVE THEY DO ALL THIS BULLSHIT TO YOU, I CRIED ALOT, BUT I KNEW I HAD WIPE MY TEARS AND FACE A NEW DAY AND HAVE COURAGE FIND SOMETHING NEW..I DONT WANT MORE OF THAT SHIT, THAT IS WHAT NOW BLACK KAMALA THE DEMONCRATS WILL HIRE FROM STATE TO STATE WHERE ALL AMERICANS WILL SUFFER MISERABLELY, STRESSFULLY UNTIL YOU EXPLODE, YOULL MORE LIKELY QUIT AND DEMOTE YOURSELF TO LOWER PAYING JOB/ROLE TITLE FROM DICTATORSHIP LEADERSHIP WITHIN YOUR EMPLOYER, COMPANY, COWOKERS FROM DEPT TO DEPT, JUST NOTHING BUT TOXIC LIARS WHO GET PROMOTED GET AWAY WITH SHIT, DONT HAVE TO LIFT A FINGER, WHILE YOU ROTT IN HELL...

I FUCKING HATE THAT THIS NEW LEADERSHIP LANDLORDS WHO OWN, LEASE, HOMES, APT RENTERS, TENANTS CANT QUESTION THE AUTHORITY OF WHAT THEY DO..THEY IMPLEMENT ALOT SHITTY THINGS TO THE PEOPLE WHO ARE TRYING TO FIND A HOME/APT/STUDIO SPACE TO GET BY..

GOING BACK TO THE NBJ FROM ORANGE MAN, WHERE THE BLACK GHETTO WOMAN SAID YOU DARE QUESTION OBAMA IS A HELL NO FOR THE BLACK COMMUNITY..

WHY THE FUCK IS THE RAPPER PLIES MARKETING THAT TO HIS FOLLOWERS? DONALD TRUMP IS THE KKK, WHITE SUPREMACIST, AND THE FACT WE ALL DARE QUESTION QUEEN KAMALA. TO ME, THIS GUY IS BOWING THE FUCK DOWN, KISSING HIS KNEES TO MONEY, POWER, FAME AND TO KEEP HIS SELFISH LIFESTYLE EVEN MEANS BASHING LIES TO DONALD TRUMP. FACT HE GETTING PAID A PAYCHECK TO MAKE THAT VIDEO..

i found some comments i liked what they said about the orange man, i totally agree.. THAT IS WHY HE EARNING THE RESPECT FROM PEOPLE IN AMERICA AND ACROSS THE GLOBE. THE DIFFERENCE IS EARNED NOT JUST GIVEN EASILY.

AS OPPOSED TO THE CHANGE OF NATIONALITY KAMALA WHO HAS TO PAY HER WOKE CELEBRITY INFLUENCERS TO SPREAD HATEFUL SHIT, PROMOTE RACISM AND DIVISION AMONGST EACHOTHER. MAN I HOPE ORANGE MAN WINS..HE NEEDS A MIRACE, BECAUSE MORE SHIT SHOULD BE COMING HIS WAY , I FEEL IT...LIKE A BOOM..

orange is always going crazy like the new twitter replacement..lol

at least people are noticing and saying positive things about you..good win

[lqfiles]

i’ve been okay! (lie, barely coping, spending my days bedrotting) HOW ARE YOU DOING!!?? i haven’t been on tumblr much aside from looking for some hurt/comfort to read bc im mentally regressing back to when i was like 15-16 and im damn near 20

my new job is already kinda flopping because the management is rly disorganized and everyone (parents.) around me is like… making it MY problem… when i don’t see how it’s my responsibility as a new hire to even have to deal w their forgetfulness… like… my specific manager wasn’t even there the day i did training or on my first day. then i was told that any apps they used for smoother communication and whatnot like scheduling and paychecks would be set up the next time i have a shift… and then they didn’t tell me when that would be. THEN…….. get this…. because this is the part where my parents r telling me it’s my fault…. they put me on the schedule. and did not tell me. and then called me about a no call no show 💀 and when i said i wasn’t informed they said oh! we’ll call you back! AND THEN THEY NEVER CALLED. and my parents r saying i should’ve done more to secure my job. HELLO!? AM I CRAZY? I CANT TELL ANYMORE

sorry for the yapping again had to get that out of my system because i’m sooooo angry like i believe working RETAIL shouldn’t be confusing or emotionally draining esp when it’s a part time position and the fact that they’re tryna make me feel like i wasn’t doing enough when management is equally part of the problem… okay capitalism bootlicker …

—🪼

LMFAOOOO THE HURT FICS PHASE AT 15-16 IS CRAZYYY COS THAT WAS ME TOO OMFGGG must be a universal experience, tho i used to be into horror fics too omggg there was this horror dream fic on wattpad and when i tell you i still think about it till this day.. phew

ooouu why are they unserious asf over there plss and your parents trying to make it YOUR problem like.. WHERE IS THE ENERGY TO YOUR MANAGER?? IJBOLLL WHY ARE THEY MAKIMG YOU FIGURE STUFF OUT ON YOUR OWN LIKE WDYM THEY NEVER TOLD YOU WHAT APP YO USE 😭😭 you’re parents are CRAZY (respectfully) because if YOU didn’t get informed by your job, and your JOB didn’t inform you themselves, why are we saying fuck jelly anon for?? the fact that they haven’t called you back plsss THIS IS SUCH AN UNSERIOUS ESTABLISHMENT…..

CAPITALISM BOOTLICKER 😭😭😭😭😭 no but seriously if it’s a retail job why are they treating it like you’re trying to qualify for the military, THIS IS A PART TIME JOB, CAN WE BE CALM… don’t worry i stand with you anon #JELLYANONISRIGHT

[souljoon]

Like a fool (pt.1)

pairing: teacher!jungkook x cafe owner!reader word count: 2k genre: fluff, smut, ex lovers au warnings: sexual content, slight dom!jungkook, sub!reader, unprotected sex (stay safe loves!)

synopsis: Everyone in the neighborhood knows you and Jungkook will inevitably end up in a wedlock despite the complicated status of your on-and-off relationship. While you want to keep a civil relationship with him, Jungkook learned not to care about labels long ago since the first time you two broke up. Whatever you’d say, he intends to keep his place in your heart taken for the rest of your life.

~~~

“Your beau is here,” Jimin prompted behind you.

Without turning in his direction, your attention to the carrot cake remaining glued to the carrot cake you were currently frosting about.

At this point, you wouldn’t even be surprised to see Jungkook on the opposite side of your bed in the morning. He seems to find it amusing to see you evidently pissed whenever he’s around. How couldn’t you? He not only takes over Jimin’s job but he often causes a scene with the customers in the cafe—which, to fuel more of your unspoken frustration, are students from the nearby community college.

You couldn’t admit how the attention he was getting from people of different gender identities still bothers you despite the mutual decision to call the engagement off. You understand your ex-fiance is a very attractive man. And his charisma could probably stir attraction from married women regardless of their age.

Over the course of six years of a complicated relationship with him, you two had already been in two break ups in college, citing his laid back self in college and your endless insecurities that urged you to try to get away from him, from the spell he had on you.

While you decided to pursue your dream to start your own cafe business post-graduation, Jungkook surprisingly landed on a teaching job in Jung-do High School which is also located in the same neighborhood two years ago. 

Footsteps are, again, back in the kitchen. “He just wore an apron. So I’m guessing he’s here until the shop closes.” It was Jimin, informing you yet again as if it was part of his job to report Jungkook’s every move to you.

This time, you sweep a brief glance behind. “Don’t let the counter vacant, Chim.” You say, cleaning up the cake board as a finishing touch to your masterpiece.

“He took over the counter, _____. How am I supposed to make him go away when he’s our own human advertisement. He’s attracting more customers!”

With a glare darted to his direction, you suggest, “Then I guess I should replace you with him, instead?”

Jimin visibly sulked, not really wanting to argue with you—his boss. “Fine!”

Six months. That’s how long you’ve been single since. Sure he had you wrapped around his fingers back then. But you wanted to prove to him and to yourself that you can live without him. However, it’s too impossible to keep up with it when he freely deems himself welcome wherever you are, maintaining his act of indifference toward the real score between you.

Intending to place the cake in the display, you finally went out of the kitchen-- ironically, just in time to run into him. Jungkook being the shameless ex-boyfriend that he is, took the cake in your hands.

He was wearing a gym class outfit— a pair of black adidas sweatpants, and a plain, white shirt over a black hoodie. If only you were not trying to stay as far as possible away from him, you’ll probably tease him about his own dress code. He doesn’t look like he just got out of his class as the teacher. He looked like he just went out of bed before he came here.

“Aren’t you supposed to be home?” You ask from behind him.

“I’m bored,” he simply replied.

“What do you mean you’re bored? Haven’t you just got off work?”

He spun around, startling you when you came face to face with him. If you couldn’t properly see his entire face before, you do now much to your annoyance.

He sighs. “I did. Look, I’m just helping Jimin-hyung out here. I won’t bother you, I swear.”

“You don’t have to because you’re not my employee, Kook.”

“Well, I could use some part time if you’re hiring.” Jungkook shrugs.

Here we go, again.

Your eyes narrowed to which roused him to raise his hands up defensively.

“Jagiya—”

“Lovebirds,” Jimin suddenly interrupts.

“What?!” You both snapped back at Jimin’s direction.

“Whoa, tone it down— you two. Restroom is right there in case you need to release the sexual tension. It’s getting intense out here.” He jests, making a shooing motions with his hands.

Jungkook wasted no more time and took it as his cue to grab your wrist, dragging you with him as he navigated the way past the kitchen into the storage room.

A temporary relief washes through you when Jungkook brought you in this enclosed, rather safe space instead of the restroom. However, dread slowly consumes your whole being when you hear the familiar sound of the knob locking.

Jungkook pivoted back, facing you. “Let’s talk here.”

Your eyes lingered down where his hand maintained his grasp around your wrist. “Why? There’s nothing else to talk about.”

“For the umpteenth time, I saw the landlord across the street like he was waiting for someone,”

You look up, quirking up an eyebrow at his sudden shot of a subject relating to Seokjin. “What’s your point?”

“I don’t trust him.” He deduces, childishly.

“What do you want me to do, find another leasing property? This shouldn’t concern you in the first place. You never once heard anything from me about Joohyun.” You mentally cursed, unable to stop yourself from mentioning the name of the woman he was seen in a restaurant a week ago.

“What’s Joohyun got anything to do with this?”

You scoff. “You know what, I don’t need to answer that. We’re not together anymore so it’s none of my business.”

Jungkook seized your attempt to leave, latching onto your arm just in time. As he pulls you back, you were met with the subtle amusement plastered obnoxiously on his face.

“We’re not done here, baby. So... Joohyun, really? My colleague?” A laugh slips out of him, seemingly pleased. You, on the other hand, felt insulted on his take of your serious remark. Your blood started rising up. So the rumors aren’t true?

You jerked away. Well... tried to, because your hand stayed locked around his firm grip. “Let me go, I need to go back to the kitchen.”

You stepped back when he abruptly inched forward. You were puzzled for a second, but when your back touched the surface of the door, you knew you fell from his trap as he steadied himself with his palms pressed flat above your head. You turned your face away, avoiding his heated gaze. But the gesture only gave Jungkook a room to nestle his head on the exposed skin of your neck.

The moment you felt his warm lips touch your skin, you squeezed your eyes shut. “You’ve been pretty good at keeping a safe distance from me, baby. You have no idea how much  I fucking miss you, missed keeping you all to myself like this.” He expresses in a thick, sultry tone.

You shake your head, knowing full well what he meant. “We c-cant, Jimin is--”

“--not here.” He finishes, pressing his lower body against yours and teasing your sweet spot with a gentle suck. The bulge on his mid-region was enough to make your panties wet instantaneously and your body heats up too quickly.

“Jungkook,” his name slips out of your mouth.

“Please tell me you’re still in birth control.” He desperately murmurs against your skin on the curve of your neck.

You frantically bobbed your head, lost at the hot trail of kisses he’s leaving on your skin.

With an eager pull of the strings on his nape and back, he rids the apron off of his front followed by a swift pull of his sweatpants with his boxers, just enough to release his hard member.

Your mouth instantaneously watered at the sight of the maddeningly pink head and aroused length, thick and hard just the way you remembered it the last time Jungkook fucked you. It happened in his car three months ago. You were too intoxicated then to control yourself from jumping up into his lap as he drove you back to your apartment. To keep your pride intact, you tried to steer clear from repeating the same mistake again. Not when you’re not officially back together.

Right now, you’re too sexually neglected to care about anything.

“I want you in my mouth,” you beg, not believing you sounded incredibly hasty than you actually have estimated.

He swats your hand off when he sensed your hand extending towards his crotch, “I’d love to fuck your mouth baby, but we don’t have that much time. I need to be inside your pussy,” You felt his palms scooping you up through your butt, sandwiching you between his body and the door. Your legs automatically weaving around his hips to steady yourself.

Then pushes your underwear aside, “This is probably the only reason why I love you wearing skirts. Easy access—fuck baby, so tight.” He barely sank his cock in, yet you could already feel the sting of your walls as they stretch around him.

Your hand flew to the back of head, eager to bury your fingers beneath his curly locks.

Just as you part your mouth to speak to encourage more his entrance, he suddenly propels his hips forward, pushing his dick to the hilt which roused a cry from you.

“Fucking tight! I’m gonna break you so much you won’t ever forget about me. You understand, darling?”

“Yes, yes, please fuck me!” You cried out, reeling from both the sting of your muscles caused by his forceful entrance, and the familiar warmth filling you full.

Without bothering to warm you up, he began a breathtaking pace despite his overwhelming intrusion. You didn’t mind, though. In fact, his thrusts were making your moans irrepressible and your thighs tremble in delight.

Jungkook places his head between the valleys of your covered mounds, not missing his faint grunts, lost in his own pleasure.

“You like that, huh? You like the idea of being fucked outside, baby girl? I’ve had enough this bullshit,” He growls with a series of rough jerk of his hips, forcing a cry of his name out of you.

“That’s right, moan my name. Just wait until I get you all alone tonight, I’ll make sure you won’t ever think of breaking up with me. Do you hear me?” He warns darkly, emphasizing the severity of his threat with a shove of his dick so deep his tip was heavenly kissing your precious spot from your insides.

“Oh god,” you lamented, deliriously.

You could already feel the building up in your abdomen just as fast as he started rocking into you. You’ve known him long enough for you to easily sense it was the same for him too, concealing his moans with his mouth latched onto your prickly skin.

“That’s right. Come for me!” he grunted in between powerful thrusts.

His command did the trick, sending your body forward as you exploded, your walls tighten around him with each snap of his hips against your pelvis. Soon enough, he jerked off his load inside you with a growl rumbling on his chest.

Grimace creases on your expression as he cautiously pulls his cock out, following his load combined with your juices gushing out of your pussy down to the insides of your thighs.

Barely recovered from the earth shattering orgasm you had for the first time in three months, you heard a series of banging coming from the other side of the door.

“You done, lovebirds?” Your eyes clenched shut in realization, quietly plotting the assassination of some guy named Jimin.

“Thanks for ruining the moment,” Jungkook retorts back. “Not a problem. You guys seriously need to get the fuck out, I ran out of beans in the jar and try not fuck each other here next time, yeah?”

Amused with the scene unfolding, Jungkook casually pushes your underwear back to its place, smoothening your skirt down as if nothing inappropriate had occurred here. He kisses the tip of your nose, before turning the knob of the door.

Couldn’t this get any more embarrassing?

~~~

Thank you for reading and apologies for any spelling/ grammatical errors. I havent edited this yet.  Part 2 will most likely be posted on Monday or Tuesday :)

[plumfumble]

Take on the birds :0c?

idk which birds ur talking about so imma just speak on the birds i have emotions for

Yo are the express owls Okay? are they doing okay at their actual jobs? imagine just being at work at the end of the month super busy time of month and your boss is like “WHERE THE HELL IS JIM??” and you have to tell your boss jim is probably being forced to be an actor just so he can get a ride to work. do you think when hiring people when they put the intrusive question of “do you have a reliable ride to work every day” they have to put “any train operated by The Conductor is NOT considered a reliable ride to work”? interesting. i worry about them. also can i please be in a society where all genders wear tweed?

Based on the above im a little iffy on the conductor. not in a “if you like him youre bad” type of way just a. wew. this guy really forces these people to act. how has he won? what kind of danganronpa shit is this where you hold other peoples jobs on the line with the promise of “you may get home/to work....if you act for me” thats a little fucked up! That being said i know a lot of people like to make him to be a mix of like an owl and a fire spirit WHICH IS FINE but idk i kinda like the option of him being a raptor type thing? like a dino type of raptor. i mean. it would still go with the bird themes. theres parallels there. he has TEETH TOO so like theres no way this thing isn’t a predator animal of some sort. His sense of smell and hearing must be Impeccable.

I really like the whole thing around the penguinos tho <3 like “oh this grooves guy is following his passion <3 and hes getting absolutely stomped on by this old asshole of course we will help <3″ and like. I can’t really see the express owls and conductor having a family type of relationship but i can DEFINITELY see the penguins seeing each other as family. Like if an owl walked up to the conductor with a suggestion the conductor would scream their head off but if a penguin walked up to grooves with a suggestion he might actually consider it. Maybe not go with it right away depending on the idea but he would def consider it and appreciate the idea from a respected peer. the man HELPED the conductor with a movie once. this guy is about creative endeavors entirely. yes he calls the penguins bad actors but idk i feel like it could be seen in the same way as like a color guard coach is intense. He has space to grow but like. man. I feel like Grooves also just has more range than conductor? conductor like only makes westerns of some sort but grooves makes underdog stories he makes sci fi stories he makes stories about music. 

Also just saying JUST saying. I legitimately think grooves deserves the award and can also see why he’d be pissed about losing and i hoooonestly cant blame him for cheating to win either? like shit. imagine losing so much to an old guy with less range and who isn’t even grateful. imagine working your ass off with people you rely on, who while may not be as skilled, you choose to work with because you know they have your back and want to also make something great too, and imagine even offering to be a part of the competition’s movie, actually starting a community, and losing every time to as big as a douchebag as the conductor. believe me, i aint saying anything he did was okay or anything, but i can definitely understand where grooves is coming from when conductor kinda just sounds like a whiny bitch about not winning Once

tbh considering how often folks in this fandom get frustrated about art of particular characters gets way more attention than others, I’m shocked grooves doesn’t get MORE attention. that’s his thing. his movies are out of the norm and thus he never gets the acknowledgement he deserves and he can only really get it by cheating

[somnilogical]

davis tower kingsley (listed here on the cfar instructor page) who harassed a cis woman about her appearance another cis women reported this to acdc (the people who wrote the thing about how brent was great) and afaict they did nothing, claims that if trans people and gay people dont "repent and submit to the pope" they will burn in hell, defended the spanish inquisitions, wrote about how the mission system werent actually abductions, slavery, forced conversions and this was propaganda, defends pretty much any atrocity that an authority, "believes" the catholic god exists and does not try and destroy them, submits to them. and so much more.

born into another era they would actually work for the california mission system and say it was good.

said thing that cached out to that emma and somni should repent and submit to the rationalist community. wrote up a rant about "how about fuck you. go lick the boots of your dark mistress anna salamon." didnt send. got kicked by some rationalist, reasoning is probably that what id say would disrupt their peaceful machinations of omnicide, would be infohazards, because... the information is hazardous to their social order.

a few of these things are subjects of future blog posts.

--

cfar has never hired a trans woman, i have lots of logs of them trying to do what people did to porpentine. claiming emma thinks torturing children is hot, claiming emma was physically violent, claiming emma was indistinguishable from a rapist, claiming ziz was a "gross uncle style abuser", claiming somni was enticing people to rape, claiming that anna salamon was a small fragile woman and ziz was large and had muscles. as if any of our strength or speed had anything to do with our muscles in this place. all of these things are false except relative size difference between ziz and anna which is just transmisogynistic and irrelevant.

if they lie about are algorithms claim that we are using male-typical strategies and then they can fail by these lies and be sidelined by callout posts that transfered 350,000$ from miri despite their best efforts to cover this up. (all benefited by having relative political advantagr flowing from estrogenized brain modules. men are kind of npc's in this particular game of fem v fem cyberontological warfare for the fate of the multiverse, mostly making false patriarchal assumptions that ziz was doing things for social status. like status sensitivity is hormonally mediated, your experiences are not universal. or saying like kingsley is saying that people should repent and submit to whatever authorities in the rationalist region they submit to. NO. FUCK YOU. i will not repent and submit to your abusive dark mistress anna salamon.

i knew anna salamon was doing the edgy "transfems are all secretly male" thing before i talked with ziz. it was a thing, {zack, carrie}, ben hoffman, michael vassar were also in on it. ppl had men trapped in mens bodies on their bookshelves because the cool people were reading it. didnt think she was being *transmisogynistic* about it until i talked with ziz. in retrospect i was naive.)

also? anarchistic coordination ive had with people have been variously called lex's cluster, somni's cluster, ziz's cluster by authoritarians who cant imagine power structures between people that arent hierarchical. like based on who they want to say is "infohazardously corrupting people" emma goldman had to deal with this shit too where the cops tried to say she was friends with anyone who thought anarchism made sense. people she didnt know at all who did their own anarchism. because authoritarians dont think in terms of philosophy, they think any challenge to their power is a disease that needs to be eliminated and you just need to doxx their network.

like if ziz and somni and emma were all actually infohazardous rapists as people keep trying to claim we are and then saying "oh no i didnt mean it i swear" and then doing it again. what would happen isnt that a bunch of infohazardous rapists start talking and working together for a common goal. what actually happens with people of that neurotype is they partition up the territory into rival areas of feeding on people like gangs do.

like they dont get together and start talking a lot about decision theory and cooperate in strange new ways.

not that the people lying about emma, ziz, gwen, somni and others are trying to have accurate beliefs. they are trying what all athoritarians try with anarchist groups. unfortunately for them, ive read the meta, i know dread secrets of psychology and cooperation that they claim are like painful static and incomprehensible, yet despite being "incomprehensible" are almost certainly harmful. if harm is to be judged against upholding the current regime, and the current regime is evil, then lots of true information and good things will look harmful. like ive tested this out in different social spheres what people claim is "incomprehensible" is the stuff that destroys whatever regime they are working in. like someone said i sounded like i was crazy and homeless and couldnt understand me when i pointed out that reorienting your life, your time, your money, to a human who happens to be genetically related to you for 16 years is altruistic insanity. just do the math. eliezer, anna, michael, brian tomasik all once took heroic responsibility for the world at some point in their lives and could do a simple calculation and make the right choice. none of them have children.

pretending that peoples "desires" "control them", when "desires" are part of the boundary of the brain, part of the brains agency and are contingent on what you expect to get out of things. like before stabbing myself with a piece of metal would make me feel nauseated, id see black dots, and feel faint. but after i processed that stabbing myself would cure brain damage and make me more functional, all this disappeared.

most people who "want" to have children have this desire downstream of a belief that someone else will take heroic responsibility for the world, they dont need to optimize as much. there are other competent people. if they didnt they would feel differently and make different choices.

you can see the contingency of how people feel about something on what they get out of it lots of places. like:

<<Meanwhile, a Ngandu woman confessed, "after losing so many infants I lost courage to have sex.">>

but people lie about how motivation works, in order to protect the territory of saying "well i just need a steady input of nubile fems so i can concentrate and be super altruistic!" or "i just need spend 16 years of life reorienting around humans who happen to be genetically related to me and my friends so i can concentrate and be super altruistic!" when neither of these are true. these people just want nubile fems, they just want babies. (the second one has much much less negative externalities though. you could say i am using my female brain modules to say "yeah the archetypically female strat, though it has the same amount of lying, is less harmful". but like it actually is less directly harmful. the harm from gaslighting people downstream of diverting worldsaving resources and structure to secure a place to {hit on fems, raise babies} is ruinous. means that worldsaving plans that interfere with either of these are actively fought. and the knowledge that neither of these are altruistic optimizations, neither is Deeply Wise they are as dumb in terms of global optimization as they seem initially, is agentically buried.

this warps things in deep ways, that were a priori unexpected to me.)

this is obvious, but when i talk about it, the objection isnt that it doesnt make utilitarian sense, the objection is that "im talking like a crazy person". authoritarians say this to me too when i assert my right to my property that they took, act like im imposing on them. someone else asked if i could "act like a human" and do what he wanted me to do when i was thinking and talking with my friends. all of these things authoritarians have said to me "act like a human" "talk like a normal person i cant understand you" were to coerce my submission. they construct the category of "human" and then say im in violation of it and this is wrong and i should rectify it. i am talking perfectly good english right now. you can read this.

anna salamon, kelsey piper, elle, pete michaud, and many others all try to push various narratives of somni, emma, ziz, gwen and others being in the buckets {RAPIST, PSYCHO, BRAINWASHED}. im not a rapist, im not psychotic, im not brainwashed. before ziz came along, people were claiming i was brainwashing people, its a narrative they keep reusing.

porpentine talks about communities that do this, that try and pull trap doors beneath trans women:

<<For years, queer/trans/feminist scenes have been processing an influx of trans fems, often impoverished, disabled, and/or from traumatic backgrounds. These scenes have been abusing them, using them as free labor, and sexually exploiting them. The leaders of these scenes exert undue influence over tastemaking, jobs, finance, access to conferences, access to spaces. If someone resists, they are disappeared, in the mundane, boring, horrible way that many trans people are susceptible to, through a trapdoor that can be activated at any time. Housing, community, reputation—gone. No one mourns them, no one asks questions. Everyone agrees that they must have been crazy and problematic and that is why they were gone.>>

https://thenewinquiry.com/hot-allostatic-load/

(a mod of rationalist feminists deleted this almost immediately from the group as [[not being a good culture fit]], not being relevant to rationalism, and written in the [[wrong syntax]]. when its literally happening right now, they are trying to trapdoor transfems who protest and rebel asap. just like google.)

canmom on tumblr talks about the strategic use of "incomprehensibility" against transfems. and how its not about "comprehensibility". i have a different theory of this, but her thing is also a thing.

<<Likewise, @isoxys recently wrote an impressively thorough transmisogyny 101, synthesising the last several years of discussions about this facet of our particular hell world. But that post got just 186 notes, almost exclusively from the same trans women who are accused of writing ‘inaccessibly’.

Perhaps they’d say isoxys’s post is inaccessible too, but what would pass the bar? Some slick HTML5 presentation with cute illustrations? A wiki? Who’s got the energy and money to make and host something like that? Do the critics of ‘inaccessible’ posts take some time to think about what kind of alternative would be desirable, and how it could be organised?>>

https://canmom.tumblr.com/post/185908592767/accessibility-in-terms-of-not-using-difficult

alice maz talks about the psychology behind the kind of cop kelsey piper, david tower kingsley, elle and others are:

<<the role of the cop is to defend society against the members of society. police officers are trivially cops. firefighters and paramedics, despite similar aesthetic trappings, are emphatically not. bureaucrats and prosecutors are cops, as are the worst judges, though the best are not. schoolteachers and therapists are almost always cops; this is a great crime, as they present themselves to the young and the vulnerable as their friends, only to turn on them should they violate one of their profession's many taboos. soldiers and parents need not be cops, but the former may be used as such, and the latter seem frighteningly eager to enlist. the cop is the enemy of passion and the enemy of freedom, never forget this>>

https://www.alicemaz.com/writing/alien.html

anna salamon wrote a thing implying that ziz, somni, gwen suffered some sort of vague mental issues from going to aisfp. (writing a post on this.) alyssa vance tried to suggest i believe cfar is evil because im homeless. but sarah constantin, ben hoffman, {carrie, zack}, jessica taylor (the last three who have blogged a lot about whats deeply wrong) (not listing others because not wanting to doxx a network to authoritarians, who just want to see it contained. and the disease of "infohazards" eradicated.) are not homeless and ive talked with many of them and read blog posts. and they know that cfar is fake. jessica (former miri employee) left because miri was fake.

anna and others are trying to claim that theres some person responsible for a [[mass psychotic break]] that causes people to... independently update in the same direction. and have variously blamed it on ziz, somni, michael vassar. but like mass psychotic breaks arent...really a thing, would not be able to independently derive something, plan on writing a blogpost on it, and then see ben hoffman had written http://benjaminrosshoffman.com/engineer-diplomat/ and i was like "ah good then i dont have to write this." and have this happen with several different people.

like this is more a mass epistemic update that miri / cfar / ssc / lw are complicit in the destruction of the world. and will defend injustice and gaslight people and lie about the mathematical properties of categories to protect this.

they all know exactly what they are doing, complicity with openai and deepmind in hopes of taking the steering wheel away at the last second. excluding non-human life and dead humans from the CEV to optimize some political process, writing in an absolute injunction to an fai against some outcome to protect from blackmail when that makes it more vulnerable.(see:

https://emma-borhanian.github.io/arbital-scrape/page/hyperexistential_separation.html

hyperexistential separation: if an fai cant think of hell, an fai cant send the universe to hell in any timeline. this results in lower net utility. if you put an absolute injunction against any action for being too terrible you cant do things like what chelsea manning did and i believe actually committed to hungerstriking until death in the worlds where the government didnt relent, choosing to die in those timelines. such that most of her measure ended up in a world where the government read this commitment in her and so relented.

if chelsea manning had an absolute injunction against ever dying in any particular timeline, she would get lower expected utility across the multiverse. similarly, in newcombs problem if you had an absolute injunction against walking away with 0$ in any timeline because that would be too horrible, you get less money in expectation. for any absolute injunction against things that are Too Horrible you can construct something like this.

--

a lot of humans seem to be betting on "nothing too horrible can happen to anyone" in hopes that it pays off in nothing too horrible happening to you.

the end result of not enacting ideal justice is the deaths of billions. at each timestamp saying "its too late to do it now, but maybe it would have been good sometime in the past". with the same motive that miri wants to exclude dead people from the cev, they arent part of the "current political process". so you can talk about them as if they were not moral patients, just like they treat their fellow animals.

(ben hoffman talks about different attitudes towards ideal justice coming upon the face of the earth.)

--

https://emma-borhanian.github.io/arbital-scrape/page/cev.html

cev:

<<But again, we fall back on the third reply: "The people who are still alive" is a simple Schelling circle to draw that includes everyone in the current political process. To the extent it would be nice or fair to extrapolate Leo Szilard and include him, we can do that if a supermajority of EVs decide* that this would be nice or just. To the extent we don't bake this decision into the model, Leo Szilard won't rise from the grave and rebuke us. This seems like reason enough to regard "The people who are still alive" as a simple and obvious extrapolation base.>>

https://emma-borhanian.github.io/arbital-scrape/page/cev.html

this is an argument from might makes right. because dead people and nonhuman animals cant fight back.

->"i think we should give planning of the town to the white people, then extrapolate their volition and if they think doing nice things for black people is a good idea, we'll do it! no need to bake them in to the town planning meetings, as they are arent part of the current political process and no one here will speak up for them."

i dont plan to exclude dead people or any sentient creatures from being baked in to fai. they are not wards of someone else. enslaving and killing fellow sentient life will not continue after the singularity even if lots of humans want it and dont care and wont care even after lots of arguments.) and so much else.

the list of all specific grievances would take a declaration of independence.

like with googles complicity with ICE having a culture of trapdooring transfems (for some reason almost the only coherent group that has the moral fiber to oppose these injustices, that is p(transfem|oppose injustice in a substantiative way) is high, not necc the reverse.) who question this sort of thing.

thinking of giving sarah constantin a medal thats engraved with "RIGHTEOUS AMONG CIS PEOPLE: I HAD SEVERAL SUBSTANTIAL DISAGREEMENTS WITH HER ABOUT LOAD BEARING PARTS OF HER LIFE AND SHE NEVER ONCE TRIED TO CALL ME A RAPIST, PSYCHOTIC, OR BRAINWASHED" thats where the bar is at, its embedded in the core of the earth.

kelsey piper, elle benjamin, anna salamon, pete michaud, and lots more have entirely failed to clear this bar. anna and kelsey saying they dont understand stuff somni, emma, ziz and other transfems talk about but its probably dangerous and infohazardous and its not to be engaged with philosophically. just like the shelter people acting as if my talking about their transmisogyny was confusing and irrational to be minimized and not engaged with. just like any authoritarian where when you start talking about your rights and what is right and wrong and what makes sense they are like "i dont understand this. you are speaking gibberish why are you being so difficult? all we need you to do is submit or leave."

and no i will NOT SHUT UP about this injustice. all miri/cfar people can do at this point is say "the things these people write are infohazards" then continue to gaslight others they cant engage on a philosophical level. all the can say is that what i am saying is meaningless static and yet also somehow dangerous.

::

it doesnt make sense to have and raise babies if you are taking heroic responsibility for the world. doesnt make sense to need a constant supply of fems to have sex with if you are taking heroic responsibility for the world. people who claim either of these pairs of things are lying, maybe expect someone else to take heroic responsibility for the world or exist in a haze.

the mathematics of categories and anticipations dont allow for the thing you already have inside you to be modified based on the expected smiles it gives your community. this is used to gaslight people like "calling this lying would be bad for the institutions, not optimize ev. thus by this blogpost you are doing categories wrong' this is a mechanism to cover dishonesty for myopic gains.

using the above, a bunch of people colluding with the baby industrial complex get together and say that the "beat" meaning of altruism includes having babies (but maybe not having sex with lots of fems? depending on which gendered strategy gets the most people in the colluding faction) because other meanings would make people sad and unmotivated. burying world optimizers ability to talk about and coordinate around actual altruism.

openAI and deepmind are not alignment orgs. cfar knows this and claims they are, gaslighting their donors, in hopes of taking the steering wheel at the last moment.

alyssa vance says paying out to blackmail is fine, its not.

CFAR manipulated donation metrics to hide low donations.

MIRI lied about its top 8 most probable hypotheses for why its down 350,000$ this year.

anna salamon is transmisogynistic, this is why cfar has never hired a trans women despite trans women being extremely good at mental tech. instead the hire people like davis kingsley.

kingsley lied about anna not being involved at hiring in cfar in order to claim anna couldnt be responsible for cfar never hiring a trans woman.

a cfar employee claimed anna salamon hired their rapist, was angry about it. mentioned incidentally how anna salamon, president and cofounder of cfar, was involved in hiring at cfar.

acdc wrote a big thing where defended a region of injustice (brent dill) because of their policy of modular ethics. when really, if you defend injustice at any point, you have to defend the defense and the thing iteratively spreads across your organization like a virus.

miri / cfar caved to louie helm.

not doing morality or decision theory right. among which is: https://emma-borhanian.github.io/arbital-scrape/page/hyperexistential_separation.html and https://emma-borhanian.github.io/arbital-scrape/page/cev.html

and so much more.

[pizzarollpatrol]

Fic Rec List #2 10/28/18

If any of the links don’t work, please let me know!. Just wanted to say thank you to all the authors on this list. You and all the effort you put into your fics are very much appreciated 💖

Kiss of Life by @sincerelymlg

Summary: Bucky and the reader go on a mission that quickly takes a turn for the worst. 

Flustered by @notimetoblog

Summary: It’s easy to see when Bucky is flustered. His mannerisms are beyond adorable but they might be hiding something more. --- I’m such a hoe for soft!bucky. I loved this fic, its so sweet and endearing.

Quick Stories by @notimetoblog  

Summary: Waking up early with Bucky is not always so bad. Bucky x reader.

Marry Me by @buckymorelikefuckmebarnes

Summary: Wedding day. (thats a shitty summary im so sorry) --- You thought this fics was shit but HA you are so wrong because it broke me :) Bucky x Reader

Death Do Us Part by @sgtjbuccky

Summary: For centuries, the God of Death had known two things about mortals. One, they were his job, his to collect when their days came to an end, and two, they were obnoxiously odd beings. Their purpose ceased to make sense to him. Never did he understand thy they created a life for themselves, why they loved, why they love other morals when they knew none of it would last forever. It was nothing but sheer stupidity, but that was until he met you. A mortal unlike any other. A mortal that would make him question everything. A mortal that would teach the God of Death how to live. God of Death!Bucky x Mortal!Reader. Ongoing series --- Wow. Where do I even begin? I absolutely love this series, its so different from others that I’ve read. I loved every chapter. 

A Supernatural Marvel by @angelkurenai

Summary: Imagine being transported in the Supernatural universe, with no memory of your life, where you become a hunter and fall in love with Dean. Only for a very important person from your past to come looking for you and change it all. Dean Winchester x Reader, Steve Rodgers x Reader. Ongoing series. --- This is one of my current favorite series!! You really know how to keep us on our toes, I love it!!

Take Me Higher by @buckychrist

Summary: Who knew that the way into the big broody super soldier’s heart was through his unmet need for a good cuddle? Bucky x Reader. --- If a fic has a cuddly bucky, sign me the fuck up. I loved this, its so sweet.

Educating Bucky by @buckfics

Virgin 1930′s Bucky x Reader. Smut. --- Holy fuck. This has got to be my absolute favorite smut I’ve literally ever read. I get so happy when it pops up on my dash again. There isn't a damn thing I dont love about this fic. Its so sweet and believable and I just cant stop myself from reading it.

Sincerely, Me by @buckitybarnes

Summary: Bucky Barnes is a quiet fellow when it comes to socializing with you. After one mishap, however, he finds a way to communicate his feelings without speaking so much. You’ve soon come to learn not every relationship has to be verbal to be important. Bucky x Reader. Completed series.

A Week in Boston by @blacktithe7 

Summary: It was your first vacation in years. Just one week all by yourself in the big city of Boston. No rules. No expectations. Just a list of places to go and things you wanted to see. That all changed the you run into a certain blue-eyed Boston boy who turned your world upside down. Is it really possible to fall in love with someone in just one week? Or is that kind of love just a fairytale? Chris Evens x Reader. Ongoing series. 

Stubborn Love by @barnesrogersvstheworld

Prompt: You cant live your life based on “what-ifs”. Steve Roders x Reader. --- This was so intense, I loved every word.

Date Night by @jaamesbbarnes

Summary: Heavily pregnant but very tired, you still insist to go out for your usual date night with your boyfriend. Chris Beck x Reader. --- This is one of the sweetest fics I ever read. I’ve never heard of “stardust” being used as a pet name and I swear my heart exploded when I read it.

Body Guard by @oliverwxod

Summary: Tony Stark is a very rich man and with that came a lot of enemies. After a tragic event Tony decides himself and the people most important to him, especially his daughter, are in danger. He hires personal body guards. Bucky Barnes is assigned to Y/n Stark, the most troublesome, reckless Stark that there is. Bucky x Reader. Body guard!AU. Ongoing series.--- Absolutely loved this series! So many twists and turns!

40 Days by @abaddonwithyall

Summary: Dean and you are already in an established relationship when he tempts you to give up orgasms for Lent. The only catch? Anyone and Everyone is open to trying to get you off. Let the games begin. Dean x Reader. Eventual Sam x reader, Castiel x reader, Gabriel x reader, Crowley x reader, Charlie x reader, Bela x reader, John x reader, Gadreel x reader, Lucifer x reader, Rowena x reader, Benny x reader, Jo x reader etc. Smut. Uncompleted series. (its from 2016, only the last two parts are missing but its all good) --- This is pure filth and its amazing.

Starved by @theonewiththefanfics

Summary: The Reader is a touchy-feely kind of a person and when she joins the Avengers nothing changes. Apart from the fact that Bucky Barnes is so touch starved, he craves for the soft feel of her skin against his and is over the moon when she treats him the same way she treats everybody else. Yet now day she simply stops, and he doesn't know why. Bucky x reader. Smut

You Aren't My Father by @winchesters-favorite-girl

Summary: When Sam shuts the gates of hell, Dean promised that he would take care of Sam’s little girl. However, things didn't go the way anybody suspected. After Dean settles into his apple pie life, he drifts away from his niece, who decided to take her future into her own hands. Uncle!Dean x Niece!Reader. Angst. Completed series. --- Holy crap. This is one of the best fics I've read, I read this series a long, long time ago and I’m still thinking about it.

My Turn by @sis-tafics

Summary: You and Dean are blowing off some steam. Dean x reader. Smut.

Afraid of the Flame by @thosekidswhohuntmonsters

Summary: Bucky learns from a surprising friend that you shouldn't live a life of things unsaid. Bucky x reader. 

It’s My Favorite Movie by @notnaturalanahi

Summary: Classice movie challenge. Movie prompt: “Are you not entertained?” Gladiator - 2000. Sam Winchester x reader. Smut

The Pumpkin Carver by @softlybarnes

Summary: Bucky and Y/N prepare for Halloween, when Bucky realizes something. Bucky x reader. --- I love The Florist and The Beekeeper so much, I was so happy to see you wrote another part. I loved it.

Watching by @mrsjohnsmith

Summary: Dean likes to watch. Sam x reader x Voyeur!Dean. Smut

Stepping Sideways by @siren-kitten-his

Summary: She steps sideways between worlds just watching those that live there...until Jefferson catches her eye. Jefferson (OUAT) x Fae!OC Mae. Smut. --- This is the first ever Jefferson fic I’ve read and i loved it!!

Ride by @wayward-and-worn

Summary: Sam and Y/N are in an established relationship. The milestones that had to cross to get this far go without saying. She's never been on top. Sam Winchester x Plus!Reader. Smut

All that Glitters by @moonbeambucky

Summary: Natasha found a sneaky way to get you to reveal your secret relationship. Bucky x reader. Smut. --- I LOVED this, its so clever and hilarious.

The Unimaginable by @moonbeambucky

Summary: As Bucky’s wife and mother of his child, you always worried for him when he was on a mission. This last mission will change your life forever. Bucky x reader. Angst. --- When i read the summary, I thought I had an idea about what was going to happen but it was so much worse. There were so many tears.

My Love, by @emilyevanston

Summary: Steve writes you a letter every time he goes on a mission. They usually arrive after he gets back. Steve x reader.

The Fiancé by @mycapt-ohcapt

Summary: Life takes an unexpected twist when you and Steve Rogers have to pretend to be engaged to cover up your little white lie. Steve x reader. Fake dating!AU. Completed mini series.

I Can’t Swim by @revengingbarnes

Summary: The reader pretends to drown to grab the attention of the hot lifeguard who looks after the beach. Lies don’t last long though, and eventually it backfires. Lifeguard!Bucky x reader. --- I LOVED this, its so cute and sweet. I had this goofy ass smile on my face the whole time I read it.

Sound by @bucky-barfs

Summary: You and Steve have been pining after each other for a while. Both to afraid to make a more, that is until you're stuck in a limo in heavy traffic. Steve x reader. Smut.

Crowded Places by @papi-chulo-bucky

Summary: You have a hard time warming up to Bucky, who constantly rejects you. But one day after his Winter Soldier mode is triggered, it seems there’s more to his brooding and stand off demeanor than he let’s on. Bucky x Reader/Winter Soldier x reader. --- I loved this!!! I’ve never read one like this and it turned out so sweet and weirdly endearing.

Memories and Music by @bitsandbobsandstuff

Summary: When you follow the sound of beautiful music, you find Bucky Barnes in front of the piano, and wonder if your heart might break just a little. Bucky x reader.

Three Shades of a Man by @bitsandbobsandstuff

Summary: It was different every time, what Bucky needed from you to survive himself. It was in these moments you saw the shades behind the mask he work in front of the world. Bucky x reader. Smut. Completed mini series. --- The first chapter was so intense and such a difference compared to chapel three, which I absolutely loved. It was so sweet and relieving to see their relationship like that after reading the first two chapters. I loved it.

Trepidation by @cumonbucky

Summary: Everything your world was right until Bucky’s ex girlfriend came along. Bucky x reader. Completed mini series. --- This was so good, I just had to add it to the list so we can all share a mutual annoyance at how stupid Bucky was in this fic. Like is he really that clueless or is he just that stupid??? Homegirl should of had a smack down with Dot but either way I absolutely loved this fic!

[letstalksymphogear]

Symphogear, EP. 3 (Cont.)

“aight fellas im here for the fortnite session where we droppin boys”

Hibiki shows up, ready to participate in this four player game of sociological tension.

“hope hibiki’s doing okay. im worried about her. ryoko, stop resting your arm on my head.”

“ryoko does as ryoko pleases baby”

Vibrates angstily.

“im missing my wife for this guys please lets just do this”

“wish i had a wife too instead of this vase filled with fucking ashes” SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORP

The squad analyzes the statistics of all Noise outbreaks over the last month to see if there’s a pattern somewhere. Somehow, Hibiki is regarded as an authority on this, despite being just a normal girl.

This is not the face of someone who has a degree in Noisology, let alone even listened to a Noisia album.

“looking photogenic while this girl describes how these horrible, lovecraftian entities butcher entire populations will look great on my acting resume”

Strained sounds of holding back laughter at this absolute clownery.

*coughs quietly*

Exposition goes on about the UN acknowledging the existence of Noise, but them existing for far longer, existing in myths as demons and monsters of long ago. This makes little sense, but fuck it, just roll with it. They also say the Noise is rare, but this being Symphogear, the Noise will be here forever, until the end of time.

“its like the noise are a metaphor........................”

Hibiki, looking dead inside as the average overnight studying student would, muses whether someone is behind the noise. She also asks if you can hear the sound of one hand clapping.

Tsubasa makes a very relevant observation that the school is smack dab at the center of all these outbreaks. In retrospect, you probably should have asked her first. She points out it may be because someone wants their get their hands on the almost complete relic hidden away in the 2nd Division: Durandal. Why anyone wants an old ass french sword is beyond me.

“yeah i can do exposition too, fuck you”

Finished relics are extremely rare and as a result extremely powerful. Incomplete ones are pretty powerful, but need to be rebuilt a bit.

“i discovered all this, conveniently, as the only person left to do so! totally not suspicious at all.”

“anime plot hurting brain. bullshit levels make think no good.”

“wish i got hired for a macross anime instead, they get to go to space”

“being meguca is suf- wait, im confusing my roles”

The exposition goes on to note that America wants the relic. This is one of the few shows that depicts America in a very serious and antagonistic light. America never cooperates in any useful way except once.

“it should would suck if someone was sending us them noise monster all on purpose-like”

“yeah............! suuuuuure would suck.... mmmmmmmmmhmmmmmmm...”

Tsubasa and Ogawa quietly plan idol ruminations. This animation used to be far, far worse.

This is the moment where Tsubasa becomes sword-kin. From here on out, she will always refer to herself as a sword. This is law. Literally every single season has this same deal. She believes she is a sword. I know it’s not literal, but I like pretending it is.

Succ Intensifies

“gonna get her number later after the season is over, damn”

Hibiki muses on the nature of war.

“why we gotta fight”

“cause yall suck”

Ryoko then says some very not nice things that we’re just going to walk right around because Ryoko is a little bit of a weirdo and should probably keep her flirting to the short haired lady working on the bridge.

“i will call the cops, lady”

Hibiki starts her next day at school as she spots Tsubasa during her choir class.

“forget my nintendo switch with the latest smash bros game in the classroom goddamnit”

“hibiki please tone down the gay for five seconds while we try to get through this dumb singing class in one piece”

“i smell a homewrecker”

“THE GAY CAN NEVER BE TONED DOWN, IT CAN ONLY BE TONED”

Hibiki is then fed by multiple classmates for this statement.

The Anime Janai crew is fond of Hibiki, much like a group of Lords being fond of the royal court jester. Hibiki clowns it up by working on a report she procrastinated until the very last minute. “Your life sure is an anime!”, one of them says. Hibiki then says, “I wish!”. They smile in unison at the irony.

Look at how they mock the threads of reality. Absolute monsters.

Hibiki nails the report at the skin of her teeth, Miku’s gonna get ready for the meteor shower, everyone’s real fucking happy, the evening looks peaceful, all is well.

“i cant wait to do all these fun things we promised several times over!”

Unfortunately, the worst case scenario happens.

Her tiddies start ringing.

“no.... fuck.... my tiddies... they’re ringing...”

She knows now she cannot go.

In retrospect, she probably could’ve blown them off. I mean, what are they gonna do? Fire her? She’s practically irreplaceable. Alas, her conscience is too strong. The ringing from her tiddies too loud to ignore.

“okay im back for the thing you promised we’d do repeatedly that we planned for a good amount of weeks now”

“...”

“i got fucking ghosted didnt i”

“cannot fucking believe i got ditched on my hot date with hibiki. bet its because her tiddies rang, isnt it. always her and her... GODDAMN tiddies ringing ALL THE TIME. LET ME BE WITH HER... god...”

“bae. im sorry. the tiddies rang. i have no choice.”

Miku tries to keep it together. Neither of them are happy about this state of affairs, and rightfully so, because it’s fucking stupid. Hell, it would have made more sense of Miku knew but still got jealous anyway, because she feels her job is establishing too much distance! And they talk those problems out instead of issues that only arise if everyone’s a goddamn moron about communication!

“but thats the point of the pl-”

NO! IT’S NOT CLEVER! IT’S FRUSTRATING! THERE ARE CLEVER WAYS TO SHOW A LACK OF COMMUNICATION BESIDES A CHAIN OF OBSTACLES TOO STUPID TO EXIST!

Miku takes the whole thing with grace even though I’m absolutely certain she threw her phone at the wall in raw, gay frustration.

Hibiki, understandably, is pretty fucking pissed.

“im gay. im angry, and im gonna fuck yall up for RUINING MY DATE AFTER HAVING FINISHED MY DAMN REPORT”

Hibiki fights the Noise. She’s gotten slightly better at fighting, but for now she’s still sorta trash at it. A grape themed Noise throws bombs and crushed her under rocks from a ceiling.

You’re a student. You’re the lone survivor of a concert that you got flak about for years. You go to an institution for singing with your best friend and basically get shoved into a life of crime fighting unwittingly. Your only teammate hates you and tried to kill you. You don’t get to hang out with your best friend anymore. Your teachers hate you. And you’re losing against the abominations that may have potentially warped your life negatively, forever.

This is probably the pivotal moment where Hibiki fucking snaps and decides she ain’t taking shit anymore. She’s not at her strongest yet, but mentally? She has decided to tell the world to go fuck itself.

“MY WIFE THINKS IM CHEAAAAAATING, MY TEAMMATE THINKS I SUUUUUUUUUCK, AND I’M SICK AND TIRED OF IT”

My, Hibiki, what big fangs you have. All the more to grit your teeth and beat the shit out of things with, I assure you.

Needless to say, even without having the skill, she’s starting to understand and get more comfortable with the full extent of the power her suit provides her.

She’s gotten so mad that even the illustrators are afraid of her.

To note: this isn’t just anime drama silhouette stylization. She is actually physically turning into a red eyed shadow. You’ll know why later down the road.

“YOU WANNA FUCKIN FIGHT ME NOW TSUBASA? HUH? HUH? YOU WANNA FUCKIN’ FIGHT ME?!”

Needless to say, her rampage goes on for a while.

She manages to dispatch all the Noise except for the Grape themed one. Up in the hole it made, she sees the meteor fall from the sky...

Wait, look closer. Is it a bird?

A plane?!

No, it’s...!

“i aint gonna tell her i just did a wish on her”

Sword!

“why the fuck does SHE get jetpacks?!”

Hibiki randomly yells out she wants to protect things too, for absolutely no real reason. Who would even break the ice with that. Hibiki, please.

They sorta stare each other down in a field awkwardly, like a bad high school reunion. But, a mysterious voice breaks out of literally fucking nowhere.

“didnt know they legalized gay marriage in japan already, otherwise id be showing up to this joke of a marriage sooner, you absolute buffoons”

“did this bitch just insinuate id waste my time getting married to this complete idiot, let alone even contemplate getting married in a public park as opposed to having a customized karaoke based marriage in the FUCKING HILTON?!”

“hey time out dont say that shit im already married and my wife already feels enough like im cheating so please keep those comments to yourself okay please”

“eat my ass, nerds. id tell you to come to the park in 15 minutes for an ass kicking...

but we’re already here, now aren’t we?”

[allthewrongsins]

asoue s2

ep 9.10

the last book in this season.i am sad and tired and i dont want it to end but i gotta do what i gotta do.

in this book there will be a freak show and some hungry hungry lions that will eat a certain psychic so if you cant handle that talk to mr.handler.

the past?yes please.i am interested.

fun music.larry looking fine.a party.is this the party that lemony mentioned in the books?

and OH.uncle monty.i missed you.hello.and jacky seems to be having fun.ew georgina is there.ah and gustav was fiiiine back then too.aww josephine was brave and fun and ike is there lol having children is the most dangerous thing yes and woohooo partaay

lemony you arent fun.his hair do was cute.jac is here,being the cool oni chan.

can you hear me crying?everyone was alive back then asssjfjrbtdijerjdjddhhs

yes i remember her dragonfly.

olaf knows.as in.he knows who killed his parents?

wtf

wtf

no i dont want this cut scene.i want the rest!!!!!!!!!

um.she has to go on many hardships and think lemony is dead and then find out lemony was alive but it was for naught coz she will give back the engagement ring and marry bert  also give birth to the kids so i dont think anything really happened there

lol

mad man?you dont say.

esme looks ready for coachella

#count olaf ,known murdurer and arsonist,is against drinking and driving

madam lulu is olivia???

*vision of khandsome stranger

*and her gf?

*no she is not in the vision

ooooo buuuurn

*that blond is fake

oooo 2nd buuuurn

dang she said it folk!

A series Of Unfortunate events

okay that face on olaf is new.what emotion was that again?awe?fear?humanity?

man i gotta wait till morning now?

hookman is talking about fiona and the captain.

i love drunk olaf

#uncanny representation of job interviews narrated by lemony snicket

lol i know what the white handsome guy is supposed to be.

community college!

who is lulu/olivia talking to?

omg baldie paints great

beatrice looks hot in that dress.is she alive?that cant be

i feel weird because i watched the greatest showman yesterday and now this is giving me the creeps.

my eyes!!!my eyes!!!! why is lemony dressed as a clown?i feel bad

THEY ARENT ORPHANS IF ONE OF THEIR PARENTS IS STILL ALIVE

yes watch the films.

girls be like STAY AWAY FROM MY BOYFRIENd

aww fuck this you made me care about madam lulu i hate this show

the finale here we gooooo

but who was lulu before olivia?oh!so the ex-lulu was who took the sugar bowl outta hospital!

its a wild goose chase no one is alive

oh no her hair thingy fel

that pit is not deep enough!how did he get them there?

my eeyyyeesss!!!

THIS!this is why jealeous girls are dangerous

*regular healthcare is important

who the hell is the newspaper delivery guy?always on my nerves!!

#when half of your otp is dead

*is this legal?

ladies and genTAdjeksks

#unfolding

math teachers are evil

lol olaf jumpscared

fuck this show.never trust "im right behind you"crying.

#when your otp is dead

oh i remember this .they will pretend to hire all the freaks but then take sunny and leave klause and violet get carried away to their deaths coz they knew all along

so olaf failed to push beatrice

starting your career as arsonists is such a moral dillema.

imagine getting the "talk" from olaf ew

that must be kit

CLIFFHANGER

[thestaffofgrayson]

1-100 for the unusual asks, you meme lord

Mmmmkay so I cant help being sassy but also wanna give a real answer so we gonna do this -> Anything in parenthesis is a real answer everything else is sass central station

1) Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?  Im a dank soundcloud rapper check out my soundcloud at nobodycares540.soundcloud.fuck (I dont really use any of em tbh)

2) is your room messy or clean? *glances over* clean (m e s s y)

3) what color are your eyes? All 16 of em are different colors actually (blue)

4) do you like your name? why? No because its not Jojo (Yes!!! Love the name Perrin gonna be honest)

5) what is your relationship status? *sets status to its complicated* you could say im a bit of a player (deathly single)

6) describe your personality in 3 words or less? Im sorry who? (Described meme lord)

7) what color hair do you have? Minecraft Steve Brown (Ver Ver Pink)

8) what kind of car do you drive? color? No I run like sonic next question (nope fuck driving fuck boulder)

9) where do you shop? Uuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh (For what Next question)

10) how would you describe your style? Goku Black cosplay (Goku Black cosplay)

11) favorite social media account? The one with the Z U C C (Tumblr fuck snapchat)

12) what size bed do you have?  Uuuummmmmmm my size OBVIOUSLY next questions (Dont know tbh queen maybe?)

13) any siblings? Little shit brother (thats not even a joke)

14) if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?  Why this world fuck you what about mars (uuuuhhhhhh no idea gonna be honest)

15) favorite snapchat filter? Oh man! Love this one altho its not well known what ya gotta do is hit the delete button and when it asks if youre sure say yes :D (they change so often I dont pay attention)

16) favorite makeup brand(s)? Whatever it is Genji uses as eyeliner (dooont wear makeup)

17) how many times a week do you shower? I get clean by rolling around in the snow so maybe like 3 times a year (depends usually once a day with exceptions)

18) favorite tv show? I dont watch tv I AM the tv (The Office or if its Anime then Jojos Bizarre Adventure)

19) shoe size? M Y   S I Z E (size 10)

20) how tall are you?  hOWs ThE wEaTHEr dOwnTHeRe (5′9 - 5′11 somewhere in there)

21) sandals or sneakers? Gadget Shoes (legit those are cool but sneakers)

22) do you go to the gym? I think theeessseeee muscles speak for themselves (nope but I do martial arts)

23) describe your dream date  Killing all mortals and achieving a state beyond that of a god (iiiii dont know I dont really see myself going on a date)

24) how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? Why do YOU wanna know (no really why tho)

25) what color socks are you wearing? Well I’m at home on the sofa playing sonic the hedgehog and typing up responses to an ask on tumblr that about 5 people are gonna see. That being said, Dragon Ball orange. (not wearing em but I have a fuzzy pair of polar bear socks my friend Ana sent me that I love!)

26) how many pillows do you sleep with? Wait what do you mean not everyone sleeps with 25 pillows are they mad? (One for my head, one on each side, smol pillow, pillow pet)

27) do you have a job? what do you do? I am assistant regional manager at a paper supply company named Dunder Mifflin. (Not currently but I’m gonna apply to Gamestop and Costco here soon)

28) how many friends do you have? Toooooooooooooo many I hate mortals (honestly I’m too lazy to try and count rn)

29) whats the worst thing you have ever done? Well I haven’t seen Mulan don’t call the cops (Iiiiiiii’m not sure I guess cheated on my Chinese final freshman year but hey I needed to pass that)

30) whats your favorite candle scent? V o i d  (I dont use candles that much and I shooouuulld)

31) 3 favorite boy names Jo[seph] Jo[estar], Jo[taro Ku]jo, Jo[nathan] Jo[estar]  (uuuuhhhh I like my name so it would be Perrin, Joji, Donovan)

32) 3 favorite girl names Jolyne Kujo there is no 2 and 3 (Jolyne yes I know but I actually really like the name, Perrin is also a girls name so, Milly)

33) favorite actor? Shrek from Shrek the musical (Robert Downey Jr and Chris pratt)

34) favorite actress? Taylor after she sasses me and acts like nothing happened (Millie Bobby Brown)

35) who is your celebrity crush? McCree (Matt Mercer)

36) favorite movie? UM IS THIS A QUESTION LIKE??? OBVIOUSLY THE SHREK AND BEE MOVIE CROSS OVER SHREK B: HONEY AND SWAMPS (I LOVED Black Panther and Thor Ragnarok but Secret Life of Walter Mitty’s stuck with me for a loooong time)

37) do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? I don’t read cuz I’m not a NERD (I mean actual books I don’t ask me about it another time but comics I sure do I love the Marvel Civil War storyline)

38) money or brains? They say Money can’t buy happiness but it can buy me more games! Eat that SUCKERS (Honestly brains because then you can be smart which can make you a lot of money. So many more benefits)

39) do you have a nickname? what is it? Perriushium, destroyer of life and bringer of the new age (Pey given to me by my brother when he was still a baby and couldn’t say my name)

40) how many times have you been to the hospital? Enough to be immune to every disease known to man NOW IM UNSTOPABLE MWAHAHA (none for any of my own conditions or injuries but for family stuff about twice)

41) top 10 favorite songs All Star, All Star, All Star, Chum Drum Bedrum, All Star, All Star, All Star, Never gonna give you up, All Star, All Star (Bloody Stream, Sono Chi no Sadame, Flying Battery Zone, Stardust Speedway, Stand Proud, Goku Black theme, Halo theme, The Apparition, Shovel Knight main theme, Hooked on a Feeling)

42) do you take any medications daily? I take a shot of cold hard whiskey when I get up (nope I dont have anything)

43) what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) The largest organ of my body I’ll tell ya that much (I honestly dont know?? Smooth and soft I guess?)

44) what is your biggest fear? The Communists lol jk Communism is the only way (I’m not so sure on this one gonna be honest I do fear something I just cant think of it at the moment)

45) how many kids do you want? I mean I’m a 16 year old teenager in high school with no job and no relationship that being said 5 (NONE EVER NOPE 0 KIDS)

46) whats your go to hair style? Super Saiyan 3 (Idk I just kinda comb it to the left)

47) what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) All Star. Wait fuck wrong quest- (Two floor medium sized house) 

48) who is your role model?  Uuuuuuuuhhhhhh (uuuuuhhhhhhhhhh)

49) what was the last compliment you received? A like on my post we did it guys we hit one like so I’m here making this 1 like special (I was told that everytime my friend see’s my dyed hair it absolutely makes his day :D) 

50) what was the last text you sent? Yeah that’ll be $5000 for the kill nice doing business with you (Maaaannny pictures of Genji Shimada)

51) how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? WHAT SANTA ISNT REAL????!!!!!?!?!?! (It kinda faded over the years my last strands of belief were gone by 12)

52) what is your dream car? Odie’s car from Garfield Kart (The Mach 5 from speed racer there’s a street legal car look it up)

53) opinion on smoking? Jotaro does it so I do it too (PSA: Smoking doesn’t make you cool or look cool you’re just killng your lungs. I won’t try and make you stop as long as you’re aware I don’t want you smoking around me and you understand the consequences)

54) do you go to college? After that SAT I meeeaaaaannnn McDonalds might be hiring (I’m still in High School but I want to)

55) what is your dream job? To stand in a corner for 8 hours with a lamp shade over my head and make a clicking sound every so often (I would like to be able to draw, animate, design and/or play games for a living. Achievement Hunter would be a fantastic job but I doubt that’s happening)

56) would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? I wanna live in a cloud In the sky and abduct people to harvest their DNA and make clones which I can fight to the death with (eh somewhere quiet and disconnected from people tbh)

57) do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? They fetch pretty high prices on eBay you’d be surprised (Nope I dont use them at all I bring my own and take my own)

58) do you have freckles? My face is a giant freckle little known fact (not really thank god I would look real bad with em)

59) do you smile for pictures? *leans in* I’m gonna let ya in on a secret kid. I wait until the photographer is just about to take the picture and then I hold a middle finger over my face to block the proper shot. Do it enough times then they’ll be payin YOU to get the picture done (I do but I only open my mouth slightly)

60) how many pictures do you have on your phone? They’re all of people I’ve killed because they showed me a stale meme dont worry about it (960 exactly and they’re all either memes, fan-art, or my cute friends)

61) have you ever peed in the woods? Ew no I don’t go outdoors thanks (Yep once on a school field trip in which we hiked to the top of a mountain it was fun)

62) do you still watch cartoons? Well I mean SOME ONE spoiled my belief in Santa earlier so I’m a bit too old for that now. I have a boring desk job thanks LAZLO (I do spongebob is really funny to me still and I LOVE the original Teen Titans)

63) do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? McWendy’s next question (I dont eat either so)

64) Favorite dipping sauce? Drip dip dip I’m boutta rip please i want to die (I dont use dipping sauce either call me a heathen all you want)

65) what do you wear to bed? Well I take off the clothes I wore for the day, take off my earring, ring, necklace, eyes, hair, 3 layers of skin, and call it a night (Pajamas mostly and sometimes sweatpants)

66) have you ever won a spelling bee? *Obligatory Bee Movie Joke* (I’ve never even heard of a spelling bee in any of the schools I’ve been to)

67) what are your hobbies? Well I like to kill all mortals #ZamasuWasRight  (I enjoy martial arts, drawing, video games, game design, and walking around my house with nothing to do)

68) can you draw? UH BOI YOU DONT KNOW WHAT ART IS UNTIL YOUVE SEEN A SHITTY JOJO DRAWING OF MINE (I mean yeah but not well)

69) do you play an instrument? Electric Triangle (Actually, I play the Violin but not super well)

70) what was the last concert you saw? SORRY WHAT I CANT HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF THE CONCERT (I’ve never been to one that seems like the opposite of fun for me personally I hate hyper loud music, people, and crowds)

71) tea or coffee? Coftea next question (tea. I don’t drink caffeine if i can help it)

72) Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? I need my sugar sonic rings (Again, Don’t drink caffeine)

73) do you want to get married? I’m already getting married. MARRIED TO THE LIFE OF CRIME THAT IS UP TOP (I mean I would like to one day)

74) what is your crush’s first and last initial? My  Self (I don’t have anyone I’m crushing on)

75) are you going to change your last name when you get married? What’s crimes last name? Smigglesworth? (If my partners last name is something with an S cuz then I can be PJS)

76) what color looks best on you? You know the color mario turns when he uses the super star? T-that (Pink and Black)

77) do you miss anyone right now? PPFFFFFT NOOOOO WHATS A FEEL *CRIES* THOSE ARENT TEARS ITS JUST SWEAT IVE ANSWERED A LOT OF QUESTIONS OKAY (I miss all my internet friends :(  *cries*)

78) do you sleep with your door open or closed? It is neither open nor closed it is in a hyper dimensional state between open and closed in which no mortal can enter or exit but also cannot be blocked from passage (clooossed because otherwise the cats are gonna kill my fish)

79) do you believe in ghosts? I mean how else would I make a long and successful career as a ghost buster (I do!)

80) what is your biggest pet peeve? My pet, Peeve! Biggest one I know! (depends on for what tbh the other day a guest speaker was talking to the class and this kid was playing music in his headphones really really loud and it pissed me off)

81) last person you called? Called what? Called them a nerd? A good bean? A meme? MAKE MORE SENSE YOU ******* **** *** ******** (Well according to my phone, the name listed is “Mom”)

82) favorite ice cream flavor? I’ll ice your cream if you’re not careful (Vanilla with chocolate syrup mixed together is hella everyone GO TRY IT)

83) regular oreos or golden oreos? The fuck is a golden oreo?? (No seriously, what the actual is a golden oreo)

84) chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? *mario invincible star song plays as I flash color and dash down rainbow road* I’ll have to think about it (rainboooowww!)

85) what shirt are you wearing? Well I…. You see… The thing is…. excuse me for one second (yeah I can’t think of sass to this one but my favorite shirt! Sonic mania that my friend Tasha bought for me and I love it!!!)

86) what is your phone background?  RYUJIN NO KEN WO KURAE!! “What do you think of this color? Is it not beautiful?” If you dont know those HOW DARE YOU LEARN THEM AND WE ARE WATCHING DRAGON BALL (Genji lock screen and Goku Black home screen)

87) are you outgoing or shy? Does THIS answer your question >:D (Outgoing when I want to be, but I’m antisocial so it’s like I CAN be outgoing and personable but it’s highly on my terms ya feel?)

88) do you like it when people play with your hair? My hair is a pride to my race the Saiyans hair is a sacred thing I will advise you not to touch it (YYYEEESSSS I LOVE IT WHEN PEOPLE DO THAT BUT THAT HARDLY EVER HAPPENS)

89) do you like your neighbors?  …..the what? Never heard of it before is that a type of appliance? (I mean they’re chill we don’t interact a lot which I’m cool with)

90) do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? Nothin can cure this ugly face fest of spring 2018 (I use face wash when I shower which is typically right after school not sure why it matters but there ya go :V)

91) have you ever been high? “I’m high on LIFE maaaannn” -Incorrect Shaggy quotes (N o p e  never have don’t plan on it)

92) have you ever been drunk? shots ShotS SHOTS SHOTSSHOTSHOTS (nope but I will one day maybe in College years)

93) last thing you ate? The shattering realization that my friends will keep saying OWO to me every chance they get (Pancakes! asked for french toast but I loooove the breakfast food so no complaints)

94) favorite lyrics right now someBODY Once Told Me The World Is Gonna Roll Me… (The lyrics to Bloody Stream dude it’s a  g r e a t  op)

95) summer or winter? Sorry I’m on Mars weather its ZXAR right now (eeehhhh winter cuz then I have an excuse to be inside and it’s also the ski season)

96) day or night? I am the darkness. I am the night. I am BATMAN (Night honestly I’m a fan of the darkness)

97) dark, milk, or white chocolate? Plllleeeeaaase its like asking if you’re heart is pure of evil or not. Dark Chocolate is a sin (Milk chocolate is the best chocolate fight me on that)

98) favorite month? See, some may argue for their birthday months, christmas, new beginnings to the year, but I say there’s only ONE spooky time :3 (Altho I’m one of the fools that’s gonna have to go with March because it usually has my favorite kind of weather for where I live)

99) what is your zodiac sign  I refuse to go by Zodiac signs until Ted Cruz is proven to be the Zodiac Kill————–”OLD MEME ALERT THIS IS THE MEME POLICE”   “I AINT GOIN BACK TO JAIL”  (Cancer! I wear a necklace of my sign all the time fun fact for ya)

100) who was the last person you cried in front of?  Me after writing all these (Don’t know actually I try not to cry in front of people ever)

[solstheimtxt]

Its getting to that point to maybe i should ask for a transfer at work again methinks 😭😭

[eternalmydnyt]

So I decided its time for another one of my random peeks i give into my insanity. This is the playlist of songs on my IPhone. Some are there just because i like them but for the most part music is a form of self therapy for me, the voices find things in life which lets them feel manifest and music is a way to feel them, touch them, and communicate with them in a generally harmless environment. Plus this can give anyone who reads an glimpse into my head and my tastes

In no particular order Im going to follow this format for the list

"Title" Band

Affecting Lyrics

How it affects me

Lets begin shall we?

"Get Well" Icon For Hire

Don't tell the others but it's all getting old

I mean how many more times must our stories be told?

And being lonely's only fun in a group

It sort of loses it's charm when it's true

This is a song about someone who is tired of suffering. Someone who has decided that its time to get serious about changing for the better. The voice in my head who reacts most to this is Eleni, Eleni doesnt want to be broken anymore, doesnt want to be crazy and fractured. She is my internal caretaker and OCD. She is who i draw on when i need to get things done regardless of how i feel.

"My Name" Shinedown

My name is worthless like you told me I once was

My name is empty cause you drained away the love

My name is searching since you stole my only soul

My name is hatred and the reasons we both know

Micheal... he is so angry all the time. Angry about the past, angry about the present, angry about the future. He is my rage at a world that should be more then what it is. Micheal is the one who is most "Me" of the voices. He is the one who is the closest to being who i would if i didnt have to constantly wear a thousand masks for society. He cares about some but in general he just wants to see everyone burn until they understand his pain.

"Break In" Halestorm

You are the only one

The only one that sees me

Trusts me and believes me

You are the only one

The only one that knows me

And in the dark you show me

Yeah it's perfectly reckless

Damn you leave me defenseless

So break in

This is my song i dedicate to Francine and everything she does for me. She is one of only 3 people who I truelly trust and who knows almost everything about me. She has saved me.

"Carry on my Wayward Son" Supernatural 200th Episode Cover.

Masquerading as a man with a reason

My charade is the event of the season

And if I claim to be a wise man,

Well, it surely means that I don't know

Ok this one is just because i REALLY like it. Especially this version.

"Indestructible" Disturbed

Another reason, another cause for me to fight

Another fuse uncovered now, for me to light

My dedication to all that I've sworn to protect

I carry out my orders without a regret

Ahh Alex. He is aggressive and territorial. He isnt Angry the way Micheal is but he is more violent. He was the part of me that couldnt remember fighting back against bullies, the part which would lash out in violence against anyone who mistreated me. He was dangerous and volitile in school but he had reasons to be. He changed as I got older... now he is more of a gatekeeper. He protects the people i trust... deciding who is "Pack" and who isnt. If he doesnt accept you then I dont trust you. I dont have many in my circle but he is the one who holds the guest list. If you arent in the circle then Alex lets Micheal have you.

"Divide" Disturbed

I am a little more provocative then you might need,

It's your shock and then your horror on which I feed

So can you tell me what exactly does freedom mean,

If I'm not free to be as twisted as I wanna be

Don't wanna be another player losing in this game

I'm trying to impress upon you

We're not the same

My psychotic mentality is so unique

I'm one aggressive motherfucker

Now, wouldn't you say

Ever since Micheal became violent he has been fighting against being classified with the rest. He hates being "Just another voice" he believes he is THE voice and the others should serve him. I like Micheal alot... he is one i rely on and consider one of my closest allies because he has the strength to drown out the others when i need him to... but god he can be a self important dick sometimes.

"Without Me" Eminem

Now this looks like a job for me so everybody just follow me

'Cause we need a little controversy,

'Cause it feels so empty without me

This is another i just really like. Hell of a beat. Good music for a walk.

"Fuck Away the Pain" Divide the Day

You hate the way he fooled around behind your back

A slave to him but now with me, no strings attached

But if you wanna use me up and leave me in the bed

If that's what you need go right ahead

Ahh Gray. I was wondering when you would show up. Gray loves this song. Being eternally a teenager his greatest joys in life are Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll. If he could spend all his time getting high, getting laid, and playing Call of Duty he would be a happy boy. He reminds me to have fun and relax. I just wish he wasnt so pushy about it.

"Love Bites (So Do I)" Halestorm

My lips are pale and vicious.

You’re foaming at the mouth.

You’ve suffered in the darkness.

I’ll suck the pain right out.

So come and taste the reason

I’m nothing like the rest.

I kiss you in a way you’ll never forget about me.

Two Gray songs in a row. He is a firm believer that the best cure for pain is to leave it behind with fun and pleasure. Someone hurt you? Leave em behind and find something better. He doesnt get why it has to be any more complicated then that.

"Innocence" Halestorm

Is this what you wanted

Did I make your dreams come true?

You're sitting in a corner

Wondering what you got into

And you ache for things you don't understand

That your tears don't mean a thing

I only cum when you scream

Raven. I dont talk about her much. Micheal is angry and Alex is Violent but Raven enjoys it. Raven wants to inflict pain not for revenge or to protect me... she wants to inflict pain because she enjoys it. She loves the idea of having power over another person and being able to control the difference between their pleasure and their pain. finding out just what it would take to push someone to the point where the carress of fingertips and the carress of a blade provoke the same reaction... be it screams or moans. Raven came to being during a time in my life when all i did was suffer... and when all you do is suffer you find ways to enjoy even that.

"Leave it all behind" Cult to Follow

Forget the decay

And the endlessness of all of our mistakes

Forget all the blame

And the apathy

And throw it all away

Forget the Pain

Forget the Hate

Forget all your Enemies

They never will break you again

This would probobly be most associated with my serpent. He isnt vocal... he is cold and empty... armored and predatory. He is instinct and survival. He turns me off. When my emotions are more then i can handle his scales harden me and keep them out... better to feel nothing then to be overwhelmed.

"My Songs know what you did in the Dark" Fall Out Boy

A constellation of tears on your lashes

Burn everything you love, then burn the ashes

In the end everything collides

My childhood spat back out the monster that you see

Another Micheal... have i mentioned he is loud? I think one of the largest things that fuels his rage is the fact that maybe I would be so much healthier if someone had jus seen what was going on when i was a child and helped me then... no instead the schools were content just labeling me "Antisocial with Anger Control Issues and an Overactive Imagination" Fucking lazy ass socalled professionals...

"What I've Done" Linkin Park

I'll face myself

To cross out what I’ve become

Erase myself

And let go of what I’ve done

This song speaks to me but its hard to pinpoint why. Theres alot in my life i regret... Life needs a Do-over button.

"Porn Star Dancing" My Darkest Days

She wraps those hands around that pole

She licks those lips and off we go

She takes it off nice and slow

Because that's pornstar dancin'

Gray loves this song... not only for its literal lyrics bot also for the fact he has convinced himself its one long ass Blowjob analogy.

"Runnin" Adam Lambert

'Round and around I'd go, addicted to the numb

Living in the cold

The higher, the lower the down, down, down

Sick of being tired and sick of waiting

For another kind of fix

The damage is damning me down, down, down

Love this song... Speaks to me but at the same time it is one that im not sure who in my head reacts most. It just makes me happy.

"Save Yourself" My Darkest Days

You’re the perfect drug when it hurts like hell

I've never needed anyone so much

There’s no-one else I love and I curse myself

Cause the right thing is to give you up

I’m overcome by shame cause I can never change

And you can never understand my sickness

(I’ll never understand my sickness)

This is a Micheal. He is angry and violent and seeks pain on others... but there are people he cares about. He doesnt want to hurt them but he cant change what he is. So I try to keep him tempered with the lighter voices despite him being by far my strongest.

Bah i'm gonna stop here. Theres a few more songs on the list but they are mostly just because i really enjoy the sound of em. Ill put them in a quick list.

"I am Murloc" Elite Tauren Chieftain

"Bad Girlfriend" Theory of a Deadman

"Careless Whisper" Seether

"Chicken with a Train" Cowboy Troy

"Swing" Trace Adkins

"I dont Dance" High School Musical (Dont judge me!)

"Let it Go" Frozen (Dont you dare fucking Judge me lol)

[short-simple-crystalclear]

To answer this question I need to tell you a bit more about the background. You know about those things more or less but I will interlink them with one another and it will be clearer when they are in one place.

I will tell you how my life looked before we happened.

Unstable, no commitments, jumping from one place to another, disappointment with people, constant nonfulfillment, the same companion all the time - me and me only. You know already that I am a seeker, every day, every minute, seeking for satisfaction, for meaning, for something that could fill that void inside me. It was very hard, I was unhappy, always acting as if everything was alright, being there for others and not for myself, changing environments as often as I could to finally find a place where I would feel good and comfortable. Apart from this, highly developed self criticism, constant efforts to improve myself - my interpersonal skills, my education, qualifications, my personality, my appearance. Because I still had this void in me, what is it? Lack of meaningful relationships? Low self-esteem? Lack of self acceptance? I didn’t know, so I worked on everything, always pushing myself over my limits. And constantly distracting myself from this feeling of emptiness and lacking. Either by next job, next bartender or barista training, excel courses, tax advisory courses, work and travel in America, study exchange, crossfit, yoga, japanese, eating, sleeping, going to the cinema alone, listening to the music at full volume. Everything I could find to meet new people, to forget about myself for a minute and to find meaning. I really was miserable, I could be surrounded by people who cared for me and adored me, and I still felt as if I was alone. But because it has been lasting for so long, I learned to deal with it. And here comes my mindset, my habits, everything that I must have given up before deciding you will be my future husband.

Freedom and individualism - those became (subconsciously) my most important values in life. I could go anywhere I wanted, so I was going, I didnt have any relationships, it was great, I didnt have to explain myself and my bizarre ideas to anyone. But because it was quite painful I started creating this vision of myself in my mind - what will I do, where will I work, where will I go during those times of the year which are associated with family and other people. I have experience in spending New Years eve alone (or with my parents, so the same thing) since 2014. In Poland not going to a party on New Year’s Eve means that you are a loser and a social zero. So I was both, invisible and social zero, no one could know about this, it is too shameful, it shows how unattractive I am, so I had to lie about my plans to people who asked me what was I doing. But yeah, I already had experience with New Year’s.

Next, Christmas - right after I move out from Poland I most likely wont go back home for Xmas because why would I? For the past 3 years I have treated every Christmas spent with my family as the last one. So I made peace with it too.

Next, and this is the biggest one, my normal everyday life - I will hire myself in a company or sth, climbing the career ladder, not worrying whether I will have kids or not because I wasnt even sure if I wanted them. How my life would look like? I live alone, go to work in the morning, go back from work in the evening, I go to yoga class or any other place and then I sit at my home and look for more opportunities for myself to grow. Still, no commitments, maybe random sex maybe not (depending on my confidence and relationship with my body), no adjusting to anyone else, changing social circles often (to avoid commitment) or being alone since I am so comfortable with my own company after all of these years. Besides, I cant trust anyone, people want to hurt me or destroy my plans and make me fail. It’s easier to be alone and observe everyone, and silently work on my achievements so no one can see. Do you remember our first fight? About sleeping around? That’s exactly what I (and you) was fighting with, I said “When it comes to me, sex was the only thing left that I couldn’t do without a man”. Exactly. And I wrote even more concerning this “I could imagine myself hitting 30, with my “dream job” making me miserable, with good apartment, surrounded by expensive things which were supposed to make me less lonely, with my eating disorder thriving, and with my vibrator in the drawer next to my bed, definitely overused one.” Similar to what I have written a couple of lines up, right? But that was my future in my mind, I planted this seed and accepted it. This was the way to prevent myself from more disappointment, broken heart and loneliness. I prepared myself in advance for all of them. I knew it was bad for me, but it was the only way I could cope with my hopelessness.

So what did I have to give up when I started a relationship with you? That I could go anywhere I wanted without much planning, that I could be fully flexible with my decisions because there was no other person involved, that I didnt have to know where I will end up in the end because I can always move and find a new place for myself. I had to give up my constant search for meaning and fulfillment. I had to give up my independence. Because if I am in a relationship I cant have secrets, I cant make plans that nobody knows about, I cant just go out without saying anything, I cant make decisions by myself without taking anyone else into consideration. I cant follow my strategy anymore - that no one really knows who I really am, no one knows my stories. I still perceived myself as not ready, not good enough, not having enough to give, because I knew how unstable I am, I knew well my urges to run away from people, I knew that I indeed loved being careless and free. Freedom, I understood and loved it, and I couldn’t give it up. I didn’t have much but I had this total independence, no matter how many mistakes I made, how bad my situation was, I could just turn around, change my living place and create my new identity over and over again. I also used it to stay myself, after giving away myself to others for years, I could go away and recover. I knew the costs were high, but at least I didn’t have to pay the greatest cost - being myself and accept everything that comes with it. I knew it was bad for me, I knew that. But that was living in me, so strongly, those were my reactions and thoughts which I had for years. That mindset was very important to me - not staying anywhere for too long, trying new things, being independent and not having to explain myself to anyone, changing people so they cant develop expectations. I didnt start any romantic relationship to protect myself from exposure and rejection when he finds out how I really am.

When I met you I had to give up all of that thinking, I had to make a mess with my life and destroy the whole system with no guarantee that I wont fuck up this relationship too because my demons will take over.

Now you can see why I behave in a way I behave, why I misbehave and do those unpredictable things. I decided I would give up all of this, but they are still troubling me, they dont want to let go. They are hijacking me from time to time and I have to fight with them. Unfortunately, sometimes I lose the duel, and then hurt you. Examples are: when I run away in September, when I wasn’t replying to you at the beginning of January for the whole day, when I triggered our first fight about sleeping around, female masturbation and vibrators, that’s why I still considered HPV vaccine even though you said we don’t need it, that’s why I dont like sending pictures of me to you, that’s why I say “everything is fine” even if it isnt, that’s why I had this dilemma about Toronto and couldnt see from the very beginning that you are most important to me, that’s why I didnt want to tell you about antidepressants, that’s why I was thinking and thinking again about our relationship and assessing whether I am still an asset to you, that’s why I asked if you would accept me if I leave you now and come back after a couple of years, that’s why I was pushing you away and pulling you closer, that’s why I ask for reassurances when you say you want me or you love me, that’s why I provoke you and actually cross the line, that’s why I make you uncomfortable sometimes with what I say, that’s why I kept you at arm’s length distance sometimes, thats why I believed that no one is irreplaceable and that love is conditional, that’s why I didnt want to go public with our relationship, at least on my side, that’s why at first I was telling you that you will have another wife, because I was afraid I will hurt you and let you down, that’s why I wasn’t so sure if I want to start a relationship with you at first, because I was sure I will ruin you and hurt the person that I love the most on this planet. I was pushing you away not because I wanted freedom, I was pushing you away because I could see how strong these demons and this thinking are inside me. And I was frightened that I would leave you one day in the future when it’s already too late, when you invest too much, when you completely adjust your life to be with me and when it’s too late for you to forget about me and find another girl for yourself. You can see that I had a lot of issues from the very beginning but you didn’t know because I wasn’t communicating them. And now I am communicating them but they are not as strong anymore.

And this void is still present there, I am still self conscious and too shy. When you came you didnt fill these holes in me, you didnt fix what was broken. No. You created new things, you created spheres that I never had, you built your own creations in my mind. And they are all warm, loving and comfortable. And now my mind and my body is colorful, there’s a lot of vibrant colors which you brought but there is also a lot of darkness. All I have to do is to give up on those destructive mechanisms that are old and no longer supportive and focus on the new ones. And I am relieved it is like this, I really am. You know why? Because you have built something sustainable, you are not a guy for one night who will help me forget about myself, you are not amphetamine which could get me high for a couple of hours. And it brings me peace and tranquility, that I am not using you to fill this void only and discard you when you stop “working”. But it will take me some time to unlearn all of the things that I was doing for years. I can clearly see how much I have changed during the past 6 months, from a complete doubt through confusion to a total belief. How I perceived myself unworthy of your love and now I accept it.

It wasn’t a coincidence that I was single. And you know how many opportunities I had to start a relationship, but I never had one because no one was worth it. Worth leaving my principles and plans. Until I met you. And when I am saying that I don’t want to be with anyone else I know what I am saying. I don’t want to be with anyone else.

And this Toronto thing, oh Elias. I never did something like this before, I think it was the biggest sacrifice of my life, because indeed, I did sacrifice my “alternative life”, pleasing others, forgetting about myself and helping them, doing the most unexpected thing without consequences, cutting my current relationships, turning my life upside down. But giving up Canada is a one thing, I won’t even apply, even though I already paid for the application fee, it means that I didn’t leave a second door for myself, I can’t run away in case I change my decision, there’s no way back, and I always, always leave a buffer zone for myself. Not this time, I can’t change my mind next month or in two months. It’s like I gave up my own security, my backup, part of my identity. I have never done more to any other person, never. I gave up my way of living. And it’s all for you.

[survivor-kuang-si]

Episode 1: “I’m shaking in my crocs.” - Tyler

Okay so to begin my game I've started to attach myself to everyone. I'm trying to communicate with them to the best of my ability. However, Kai searching for the idol is pretty suspect if you ask me. I'll keep him close to see what he makes out to be. Other than that, I want to try and be everyone's best friend, but then get them out when necessary. From first impressions, I feel like I can trust Devon and Brendan. Danganronpa solidarity. However, Alexa may be targeted for being the only girl on an otherwise all-guys tribe. If she does get targeted, I want to try and save her so she's in my pocket. Let's play some survivor!

 Already straight out of the gate these people are boring me. I woke up super early cause here i am thinking all these Americans will be awake for this. But nope, pretty much no one is online. Quite frankly, i'm thinking of sueing.

  Ahhhh I'm so glad I'm here! It's exciting

 So Turkey just asked me to be his first ally seems like a stand up guy that I can get along with. In small tribes you can never be comfortable but pairs have run the game before.

 So the game has just officially started! I'm starting to get a feel for everyone and I'm liking some of my options. I started having a conversation with David and straight away knew I wanted an alliance with him. He seems dumb and I like dumb because it usually means they are easier to manipulate. I would love to hire all the dumb people to be my firing squad, after all they're all just expendable sheep.

Heyo. So, after taking a look at the roster, I don't think that I stand a chance to win, as I'm the only non-native English speaker. From my experience, I should avoid "standing out".

So to not stand out even more, I won't be getting a really high score in the first game. 

I won't look for a hidden idol either. The people aren't too talkative so far, which really isn't a bad thing. I can just blend in, hopefully. Let's see where we go from here by laying low :)

 This reward challenge is so infuriating, i ended up getting a really good score eventhough i have 0 clue how, but hey, i'll roll with it. David just told the tribe that he can't participate in this reward challenge as his plane was delayed 5 hours. Not good enough David. I expect you to get in that control tower and sort out the planes yourself.

I hate winterbells, I hate it with avengence. The annoying bunny, the annoying bells and the annoying music!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!

 With two members of Tanha being mutes i'm feeling pretty safe if we were to go into tribal. Myself, David, Andreas and Amanda are the only people talking in the group chat. This leaves Valentina and Haylei on the outs and hopefully they're some low hanging fruit to pick off. David has already come to me trying to lock them in, so i'm going to stand back and let him be the boss because its way too early for me to want to stand out. You can play in the mud, i'll stand here and watch.

 Couple Things: 

1. I hate Winterbells. 2. Stix's comment about how he was going to vote rubbed me the wrong way. It's just like, keep it to yourself. If you are just going to be out in the open about how you are going to play, I don't think I could trust you to keep secrets safe. All in all, I would rather keep him at arm's length with information. I can see him playing a very loyal game though, so that helps me if he wants to work together. 3. Brandon came to me and offered to work together. Of course I said yes. We both like Danganronpa and we both seem to have similar tastes in games. I want him to be my ride-or-die since he came to me first and all. I think right now is too early to make any moves, though. So we'll just wait and see 4. Alexa has a HUGE score. I want either me or Brandon to buddy up with her so we can find out what she did at the Garden of Eden.

 https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-S4UBWGhpss

  So we're doing this first immunity challenge and all I can think is, wow, my teams killing it! Why should I kill myself when 1) we are already doing so good. ANd 2) I don't have a target on my back at all. So you bet your ass I did a minimum job and also lied to my tribe! Now I just gotta hope they don't figure out that I lied, but if they do, I feel pretty comfortable in my abilities to talk my way out of it.

okay so I've been doing pretty good in this challenge, i think lmfao, and my tribe is like "33k" "160k" When im over here fucking getting close to 1million. Thank god this is a reward challenge but im really hoping that the other tribe suck ass as much as my tribe does lmfao. Also, im not in this community but i thought i'd try it out, but everyone says "akfadkdfkagklag" im like wtf

 I really like my tribe! Everyone is pretty active and nice! Kai has flawless opinions on BB19, Stix and I are from the same city, Branden and I are both from tengaged which is surprising since I didn't think anyone from tengaged would be playign this season, Devon is pretty quiet but that's okay I know he's been busy with work the first few days and Rafael is pretty fun to talk to.

  So i scored the best challenge score on my tribe! Which honestly wasn't hard, they're all very incompetent. Looking at some of the scores from other tribes, im shaking in my crocs. So i get sent to the garden of Eden with Brandan and McKenna. We have a riveting conversation on call and all decide not to take that lovely temptation. Well i mean i said i wouldn't. I want that idol! I came here to play so honey, you're gonna have to hand over that clue. I wouldn't call it lying, i mean if i told them i was going to take it they'd have a one up on me, and we cant have that. So now i have to throw the immunity challenge! Sorry Tahna, looks like i accidently slept threw the entire challenge! After all i am Australian! David has just told me that i'm his number 1 and I guess he is my number 1 as well, but that doesnt mean im telling him i have the idol clue! Also because i told him 'all about what happened in Eden' he promised to tell me what happened if he was to go in. Sorry David ;)

 The tribe winning the reward really raises moral. That advantage will be super useful for the upcoming immunity. The tribe has decided to go and give the extra life to Brandan since he did get the highest score on the reward challenge. This might get him labeled as comp beast, and thus targeted. For immunity, the plan is to target one tribe and get them out so it ends the challenge quickly and efficiently. I came up with the plan, and have been the most active in the chat. I'm scared of this since it would make me look like a leader, and being a leader puts a target on your back. I doesn't bode well with me. Other than that, I think if we did go to tribal, I would vote out Stix since he has been a bit aloof during the time the game has started. I would like to continue working with Brandan, but have also grown fond of Kai. If Kai, Brandan, and I were in an alliance, that would be my ideal scenario. Raffy logging out!

 I'm trying to convince McKenna or Ally to take on my ideal plan for the challenge as my own, I do not want to put my name out and be singled out if the plan fails. My plan: I'm trying to get our whole tribe to 'shoot' at the Tanha members, send them to tribal because Koalang has an advantage. I personally believe the advantage is an auto dodge if they can't get it off. If Aphi Sa coordinates shots on Tanha, Koalong might tag along and send them to tribial instead of us. Obviously, I don't feel 100% safe, I'm going to be working at the beginning of the challenge. If I get shot while I can't get on my phone, I'm out. I am trying to implement a tribe plan for the challenge without tagging my name on as I can't be there to lead the troops out of the gate.

My tribe is hard to get the correct feel of, I'm not sure if I'm talking to much to them or if they appreciate me having something to read. As far as alliance members go, I am currently trying to find who I would like to be most loyal to in this game. Zach is a strong front runner, as well as Charlotte. I like Ally and McKenna, but McKenna seems like the most likely to "Caesar me" JG is my ideal first boot if it comes to it. He doesn't talk in tribe and has not responded to my pms. Maybe they're all PMing behind me but I doubt it, our tribe chat is DEAD.

 Took a little sneaky peek for the idol. I have to come back again! I was so close! Bloody Mitchell flashing all his idols

 It's annoying that we didn't get anywhere in the challenge. I know some people struggled but I'm like seriously, I struggled and you got less than me, really? I think some weren't really trying and if that happens again I won't be impressed!

 This idol clue was actually such an amazing advantage! After looking for the idol i realised that there was no way anyone could find the idol without the clue. So i know where im looking next round! I am encouraging people from my tribe to look for it so i can seem like a 'team player'. When really, they have no hope.

 I think I've placed myself really well socially in the game. I've been talking and bonding with everyone in the tribe. Though I doubt we will go to tribal. Our strategy is solid. The only change is that we've decided to go for the other tribe as one of their members, Tyler, basically threw the challenge by typing in the sharpshooter chat before the challenge began. Now tey are down to 5 members. This should be easy.

 We just slammed this contest like what the hell , you're not going to show up , I was just in a finale and had a funeral to go to and I was here , LOL THESE PEOPLE ARE JOKES

well that challenge was easy and I think i have very good social bonds right now and I hope I have something flowing with Ally and EG. Zach is chill but I think hes chill with everyone, charlotte is basically inactive and idk hes just weird lmfao, ian just talks to me but we never even formed anything hah

 OMFG what rubbish pile of poo tribe have you put me on. I am so so peed off right now. Considering I am the one with the bad timezone here...... URGH. I was gonna write a long complicated one and I am actually so beyond peed off I don't think I can. I'd better not go I am telling you that much. An 8 hour task and they lasted 16 fecking mins. Hardly anyone talks and noones putting any effort in.

AS expected, the plan worked flawlessy. Aphi Sa even helped out to take down the other tribe. It went smoothly, but Amanda really pulled it out even if she had no one but herself. I'm impressed and kind of sad. Sad that a simple typo brought her down. If she got to the merge or if I end up with her in a tribe, I would definitely love to work with her.

Yay we won both challenges! To recap my day a bit, I'm now in two separate duo alliances! I'm in #TeamBuffalo with Stix and Team Tengaged with Brandan, I really like both of them and Rafael so hopefully us 4 could possibly form a larger alliance together? We'll have to see.

 Ahhhh I'm so happy we won but I definitely think Amanda should get some sort of reward for doing that because the only thing that stopped her from winning was bad spelling.

 Just won our first immunity! My tribe is unstoppable and my plan is working great. I'm keeping a really strong social connection, while also making myself look like I'm beatable in challenges individually! You think firing at 6:06 was a mistake?....oh boy are you wrong. If I'm gonna win this thing, my plan needs to keep going Day by day. Just a little more than the day before. But I'll tell you what, next immunity challenge, if we somehow don't win. I'm ready to make a big move already.

 Well that's fabulous 0 for 2 *strikes pose* Go team.

 Okay, so Brandon has made an alliance with him, Kai, Alexa, and I. While I'm all for an alliance, with six people on this tribe, it really seems easy for it to fall apart. Unless, we don't go to tribal until three tribes become two, I don't see this alliance lasting too long. But at least the two people I want to work with (Kai and Brandon) are with me. Alexa, if it comes down to it, will go out of everyone. For now, however, I need to up my social game with Kai and Brandon so they will want me around more than Alexa. Devon is also someone I feel like I can trust. A side duo with me will be pretty good for me. My tribe rankings would be: 1. Brandon (since he seems to be in everyone's ears and already calling strategic shots) 2. Me (not first because I haven't started strategizing with people) 3. Kai (third most active and useful in challenges) 4. Alexa (she's in by no means a bad spot. The reward challenge should make her higher, but she also doesn't interact as much. I consider her the bottom of the alliance) 5. Devon (sort of just there. A floater) 6. Stix (Bottom of the tribe. A bit aloof when it comes to conversation. Nice guy though)

 Aphi Sa represent! A two round Sharpshooter win has to be something to be proud of right? Full offense to Koalang, we carried you that challenge. Tanha, it was nothing personal we just wanted the advantage to be a non issue and from your reward scores, you seemed like the tribe that would have the least active at the beginning. When Tyler started typing in the challenge chat before the game started I kept thinking to myself, "Do it, come on do it, press enter!" That two round win is my strategic win, I came up with the plan to target Tanha, sorry, I came up with the idea that we do a spread offensive first round to take out the afk's at the start, I was the one who gave the list to the tribe of the names on the other tribes. I did that... with the help of my tribe. Ally is the only person in this game that knows that I was the mind behind a 15 minute challenge, I had to work so I was only going to be active for 3 or 4 rounds so I spent the time leading up to the challenge thinking of routes the challenge that could take and the fastest way to win it for my tribe whilst I could take part or set them up for success in my absence. I reiterate spread offense, logically I wouldn't be the only one who could only participate for so long and hit the people that would be in my boat. Then tactical strikes on the ones that dodge, sadly for Amanda she was the only one on her tribe who participated. My hat's off to you girl, 9 dodges in one round, I couldn't do it, alas a spelling error got you. Can happen to anyone one when the game is on the line and you know everyone is coming for you. Ally proved vital in my quest to get my plan portrayed to the tribe while making everyone feel like they were part of the discussion. In our tribal discussion she helped sway the conversation to points that would emphasis the plan I pm'd her about for the challenge. Hopefully this is indicative of a partnership I would like to have in this game. Everyone felt included, everyone felt vital. Aphi Sa is safe, as great coaches say, “We're on to the next Challenge.”

 Hello ladies and gentlemen, lovers and fighters, high tops and sober bottoms, it is MISS Kelsey Mikaelson, coming to you live and in colour~! That's right, she's back in the business, ready to fight for the crown! And, surprise surprise, no one's talking to her! LOL, let me stop the third person. Entering this season, I was actually quite excited due to the chance to play with actual, like...new people like myself instead all those flops who win a season per month. However, against my expectations, I'm accepted less with these new people than usual XDDD I don't feel like anyone in the tribe is really...like, happy to see me or enjoying speaking with me. It's just not a nice air but what else other than jealousy can start off a season like this? ;) I really wish Tahna won the immunity challenge but that didn't happen so...I've just got to push myself to talk to these people, as much as they don't want to talk to me. Let's hope I don't go home first, that wouldn't be too good a look. If I can make it through this one, I've got a knack I can last so...let's put our hearts up for this one! Wish me luck, loves! ^__^ And THAT'S all there is to it! The body is HERRRREEE! -Kelsey Mikaelson

 Yeah, we were the target to go at the challenge, and it was sad to see us going down so quick, but oh well. With one person attending, that's just how it goes. Not much more to add here :)

 Okay so i'll give like a brief "initial thoughts" run through of everyone, where I stand, and how i'm feeling about the overall game. So, without further ado, let's introduce my fellow tribe mates! First we have Ally. So her and I briefly talked, and it was the minimal type of conversation. I heard from a fellow friend of mine that she is extremely loyal, trustworthy, and likeable, and that I should attempt to befriend her. My goal for the upcoming days is to grow really close with her, and try to form a solidified bond. Next, we have Charlotte. I know of her from another ORG, in which I evicted her (but it was an unanimous vote so let's hope it's not impacting on our relationship). Similar to Ally, we briefly talked on the first day, and it was more about other things opposed to just the simple "hey what's up!" talk, so that's something. I'll probably try to strengthen my relationship with her slightly. Ian's next. He's a goofy person to be honest. I think out of everyone, i've talked to him the most. He's not the most... relatable or easiest to talk to, but he's chill. I think I could see myself working with him to an extent, purely for the benefit of my game, but nonetheless, I need to keep talking to him! Following Ian, we have JG. I have not spoken one, single word to him/them/her. The reasoning is that I want to start a little bit, so we have a bond, but I need someone I can vote out first. Unfortunately, for the luck of draw and timing, they're the one I chose. Maybe things could change though? Who knows. The last individual we have is Mckenna. I really like her, and her and I talked a lot about various things and she has straight out asked me to work together. I said yes, because I do. The only issue with Mckenna is that I think she's playing a social, snake-like game, and i'm a little worried, but it's kind of too early to call. So in conclusion of the initial thoughts, I think I stand okay with everyone. I'm going to try to be more active and helpful so that i'm an attribute to keep around, because quite frankly I want to win. Now, for my strategy. Like every game i've ever played, my intent is to be a strategic goddess. However, I want to revamp that and focus on my social game. In Bahamas (shout out to Dana), my game was purely social, and I made it to final three, placing second and LOSING by one vote against Dana. Strategy was an aspect of my game, but not everything to me. This time, as it's a main season, i'm putting all my energy into this. I'm going to attempt to be manipulative, and run the merge phase and win. Obviously, I won't, i'm too cocky, but that's my hopes and dreams. I want to excel strategically and socially, and be okay competitively. One thing i'm excited for is that this game, I plan on being extremely cutthroat. Will that bite me in the ass? More than likely, but whom cares. I want to be fun, entertaining, and play hard, and if I lose because lack of respect... whatever. But keep in mind that may be subject to change as i'll probably develop secured relationships, and be really nice and loveable. I need to work on my jury management skills, so maybe i'll tell people if i'm voting them off. WOOO That's it for now! Sorry about my ramble! Talk to y'all soon!

 Challenge = Thrown , I'm not going to lie, i didn't mean to send a message to the challenge chat, but i'll take it cause it actually ended up working in my favour! My tribe is from places all over the world and the only person who actually participated was Amanda, which i find hilarious. Annnnd the only person that Amanda wasn't angry at wasn't me🤷🏼‍♂️. Look at me go. We lost the challenge 😭. David and Fairy (Andreas) both talked to me prior to the challenge, and we shared gentle words about how we wanted Haylei absolutely eradicated from our tribe. And what do you know, we all just end up talking about this in the tribe chat, it's not like Haylei will ever log on to see it. It's nice in rounds like these where the vote is obvious, to step back and let others feel like they're in charge, gettem nice and comfortable *Pretty aggressive and Malicious Laughter*

[american-first-and-foremost-blog]

Who I am.  A “brief” aside

I became jaded and hard because of my experiences.  The general whining of so many who had no idea really what a bad day was all about.  I was hard on new hires, and students because what we did mattered and because I was hard on myself.  It wasn’t just a title, to be a paramedic.  It was a responsibility.  A responsibility to a scared mother who thrust her dying child into your arms at 0230 your first day on the trucks.  You don’t get to call timeout. You may not be able to ask for help.  You have to know, even with all that fear gripping your soul.  You have to push it aside and react, you have to do.  You’ve got to know. 

So I was hard in a controlled setting.  Where I could help you if you floundered.  Where you weren’t alone.  I was exacting and my standards were high.  I never expected perfection, just progress.  If you started with me the phrase I wanted to hear initially was, “I don’t know”.  Far better to admit a weakness than try to lie your way through it and find out you are responsible for a tragic turn of events.  Yet ego drove so many people.  They had to be right, or at least not wrong.  This hard exacting nature burned me; no it blew up in my face.

This part of my story has never been told en masse.  Some of it can be verified if you google it,  but for now I will hold off on that. It will follow in the next entry. I don’t know if it would be better if you researched it before reading my side or after.  I leave it up to you when the time comes.   Your choice.

I was tasked with precepting a student,  A Paramedic student from a neighboring Fire Department.  I was reluctant.  I had seen the change in quality of the new breed, it was entitled, self serving and egocentric.  When I was asked if I would take on a student I flatly said, “no”. To which my EMS Captain responded, “please, it would mean a lot to us”.  I said, “fine but know I don’t want to do this”. I asked that the student at least be a Firefighter if one was available.  This was done in the hopes I would get someone who would be able to perform in the environment I created for my students.  This was the beginning of my end.  

My student was late by 15 minutes his first day.  I said as much after he walked in the door, in a less than soothing manner.  We proceeded to get him settled in it was explained he was to be an active member of the crew just like at his station.  We went out and started working on the truck. I was at the second busiest station in the city so it wasn’t long before we had an Emergency response.  I am going to explain a few moments of interaction so if you’re confused at any point please ask.

  I believed in the, “see one, do one, teach one” plan of teaching.  We picked up the patient and on the way to the hospital I gave a radio report so they would know what was coming.  After the report I told the student “When you’re done with you’re report you’re done.  If you have to say anything at the end of it finish it with;  Do you have any questions”.  I followed that with why, “A lot of people say at the end of their report; do you have any questions or orders?  You don’t know who is on the other side of that radio”.  It is important to understand that only a Physician can give a Paramedic orders in the State of New Mexico.  Not a Nurse, or another medic but a Doctor,  “For all you know it could be a janitor who answers the radio and he may mean well by saying something he shouldn’t.  So do not do this while you are with me, if you do I will crucify you upside down on the back of my Rescue”.  

I advised the student not to give me all his reports at once.  After every call you have to do a run report.  As a student you are expected to complete one and have your preceptor go over it with you.  I told him, “If you give me all your reports at once and they are shit I am going to give them all back and make you rewrite them all.  Better to give me one or two and we can go over it together”.  We went on another call, abdominal pain.  On the way to the hospital we were talking about patient treatment options.  No people we don’t need to get the Doctor to tell us what to do.  We have protocols/guidelines to work with.  If we get in a bind we can call a Doctor absolutely but our hands are not held.  This is why its insulting to call an EMT or Paramedic an Ambulance driver.  

My student would not mention giving the patient pain medication.  This is not that unusual as some services are stricter than others but ours was fairly liberal.. if we felt a patient required intervention for pain we were allowed to administer it as needed.  So I asked, “what about pain meds?”  He didn’t think you could give them.  According to his protocols at his department you couldn’t. He was working with me and under our protocols.  I went to the same school he did for his Paramedic instruction. Before leaving to my internship I was given a copy of the service protocols so I would be familiar with them prior to arriving. Either he was not given the information or he didn’t study it.  Either way I was bothered and it was obvious. 

We got back to the station and he went to write his report.  Afterwards he came out and handed me eight reports  Eight.  Not one or two, eight.  I went through them and lo and behold, they were all shit. So he had to go rewrite them. All of them.  We were busy painting the station so I told him to hurry up with the charts so he could help.  Pressure in a controlled safe setting.  He never did come and help.  He gave me all the charts and they had to be touched up which he was not happy about but such is life. He made a sub par dinner, seemed to be fishing for accolades afterwards. They were not warranted.  At the end of the night, I went of over his deficiencies and strengths. I tried to give him a pep talk.  I told him it would get better as he learned more.  That we all went through the frustrations of our own internship.  He would be fine.

I am sure there were more moments but hose are the clearest and I am trying to be fair in my explanation.  We got off our 48 hour shift and I was at home when the phone rang.  I twas my student telling me he was having schedule troubles and asked if he could adjust his internship.  I told him, “ Do what you have to do to take care of yourself, as long as you get your hours I do not care, its up to you”.  he never showed back up, his schedule wasn’t going to work with our shift schedule. 

A few weeks later I received a phone call from my Union President, something was up.  I had a meeting with the Chief of the Department my first duty day.  He didn’t know what it was about but I should be prepared,I asked,  “prepared for what though?” he didn’t know.  Since this was supposed to be informal no Union representation was going to be present.   When I walked into the meeting; it wasn’t a meeting it was a God damned board of inquiry.  The Chief of the Department, the Deputy Chief, the EMS Chief and my Battalion Chief.  My student wrote a letter complaining about his treatment under my tutelage.

It was a four page letter describing in detail the events of our 48 hour shift.  The brass lay into me about how embarrassing it was for the Department, how could I do such a thing.  My reply, “What does it say”.  At which point I was given the opportunity to read it.  The accuracy of the letter was astonishing.  My vernacular to the word.  I cuss a lot people.  I figure sometimes to make it stick it has to be hard and dirty to be remembered.  He got it all, the chart rewrites, the threat of Crucifixion.  The words of my EMS Chief “ the thing is Josh I can hear you say all these things”.  This is an interesting point to remember for later.  Its also important to note that I did not deny that I said any of what was written.  I admitted to it.  I did explain the context of it but I owned my actions.  I stood tall and was unapologetic. 

I left the meeting feeling deflated and betrayed.  He didn’t tell me anything, no confrontation, he seemed grateful for our time together.  I always tell anyone I work with for the first time that if i do anything to offend you please say something because if you don’t say anything then I cant fix it.  I finished my shift feeling dejected.  A few days later while at my part time job I received a phone call from a fellow Firefighter.  She said she was questioned by the Chief Officers about a patient transport that her and I had shortly after my meeting.

I asked her to tell me which call.  She described the call and I remembered it well.  a patient with altered mental status, sudden onset, couldn’t speak or communicate in any way except grunts her eyes wide open and wild.  Recent history of some kind of surgery I think.  Otherwise no history of anything pertinent.  I remember my differentials were: Stroke, overdose, or psych.  I remember a pushy friend trying to ply her web MD wisdom on us which was curtly shut down.  If you call 911, answer their questions provide any information they need. Unless your opinion will have an effect on the outcome of the patient hold your opinions to yourself. You called them, they have training, have some faith.  

The transport was uneventful.. We had a student from a different program riding with us that day.  No big deal.  We dropped the patient off at the appropriate hospital and gave report.  A Doctor I knew came in and assessed her and did a cursory rule out of a stroke.  So psych or OD it was.  

I walked into another meeting same players but a different tone.  The Chief of the Department said something to affect of, “We got you now, a patient complained this time”.  Anyone who has an altered mental status is not a reliable witness,  so any complaint would be invalid plus there were witnesses.  I figured it was the friend that complained. Since I was given the heads up I knew what they were talking about and I took a different attitude.  One I am known for, smart-ass.  I quipped “She was altered, shes not a reliable witness”. 

He blew his top and screamed “Get the fuck out of my office!’  I obliged.  My Battalion Chief came out and asked why I had an attitude.  I told him I was tired of this bullshit and I questioned how he could allow this to happen.  Allow me to be railroaded with a bullshit complaint.  I was told the patient perceived that I was being hostile to her.  He asked me to tone down my attitude and come back in so I could hear their concerns.  

I went back into the office and was told the patient said I screamed at her. In her face.  Over and over again, that I did not listen to her concerns.  I blew up “What concerns!? She couldn’t talk!” I advised that this was bullshit and asked where my union representation was.  This put an end to the meeting.  The Union got involved, as they should have in the beginning, but we didn’t know what was happening and honestly I try to be a good soldier.  I take my beatings if I deserve them and I don’t complain about my mistakes. After it was all said and done I received a written counseling that would expire in 6 months time.  Then it hit me.

The student.   We had a student in the back of the Rescue with me.  I called the College the student attended and asked to talk to their field placement coordinator.  I asked, “ has anyone contacted you from the Fire Department asking to speak with the student assigned to Rescue 1 on xx day?”  The coordinator sounded a bit puzzled and said, “no, no one had called”. I asked, “did the student have any issues with her crew that you know of”.  Again the coordinator replied ,”No. she said she had a great time actually”.  I thanked her and advised her to call the department immediately if there were any issues.  So there it was.

The Department knew they had a third party witness to the events that happened in the back of the truck that call.  My partner who called me stated that she didn’t hear anything but she was driving.  They took the time to interview the complainant and my partner but not someone who would have actually witnessed my actions.  I am many things but I am very proud of my patient care and I strive to do my best for them. Always.  I may get complaints from bystanders but never had I gotten one from the patient.  

Some time went by and I found out that the patient who complained that day was the Chiefs neighbor.  How the two got together in the first place I don’t know.  I don’t know if her friend encouraged her to go to the Chief.  Maybe she was upset she was taken to the hospital she was taken to, or maybe she was upset about the unit she was placed.  It was the secure unit in the hospital for those who have psych issues.  

I also found out that the paramedic student that never came back; his Uncle came into a fire station.  He was a retired Firefighter from the City.  he told the station Captain, a man I trust that he helped his nephew write the letter.  See he was a Chief, but before he retired he got busted back down to Firefighter.  

Almost done with this entry, bear with me.  There are a few things I want to point out. I do my best to not lie.  I own my words and actions even if there are negative consequences.  I found out that honesty for the most part really is the best policy in life.  I could have reduced the chances of being in this situation.  If I wasn’t so hard maybe?  I hate to even say that. Its served me well, 17 years in Emergency Services and my brief stint in the Army and I’m still here.  I was trained by hard, driven and exacting me; professionals and masters of their craft. Yet, maybe.  Maybe I shouldn’t have used so much harsh language.  Maybe I should have followed up more, ensuring the student felt, safe? 

Initially I felt vindicated though.  I learned a valuable lesson though.  The administration doesn’t care what it has to do to be right.  No amount of common sense or reasoning can make a difference if their mind is made up.  

More to follow

[pinksweatergettingbetter]

aight

lets ends this

-

i love that he's still trying to cheer her up with her terrible crossover idea

phoenix is such a sweetie

-

“...so we may put this dead lawyer walking out of his misery”

hear hear 

just kill me already

-

“she's now slain two high level clergymen...”

one of which was a confirmed rebel but HEY whatever ITS NOT LIEK YOU KILL THEM IN GENERAL ANYWAY

who gives a fuck this trial is janked

-

“bahlgilpo’kon hell- the realm of eternal agony”

wow eternal agony is the bottom hell??? thats like the first hell in dante’s hells; youre soft as runny shit kooraheenism.

-

“there she will suffer the endless punishment of ja’gar by the galuun of Puhlmo’ten.”

SUBTITLES PLEASE 

-

he was killed during the rite but they only found his body like two days later?!?!

what the fuck!?

...and wait a fucking second, he wasnt there when we were fucking investigating BULLSHIT

BUUULLLLLSSSHHHIIIIIIT!!!

-

two consecutive murders constitutes a serial killer??

-

every time sadmad sighs and shakes his head i lose a year of my life

-

Rayfa’s voice is so fucking unfitting; she’s got the voice of a 30 year old woman and she’s supposed to be a whiny-ass 14 year old

do these people know anything about casting??

is it really that hard to get a 14 year old to say a few lines? i was voice acting (not professionally obvs) when i was 14. i sucked, but i was doing it, and there’ve been younger kids working on real shows.

anyway 

-

welp looks like this mcfuck is using a fake name

someone get on that

-

I'm sorry you’re surrounded by such incompetence, Rayfa. and i mean that. i like you now, youre kinda funny.

-

phoenix: plus, yesterday, someone told me how the divination seance used to work

phoenix fucking sucks at keeping secrets jesus christ holy fuck just SHUT UP ABOUT THE REBELS YOU MORON

-

if he says let it go and move on again I'm going to fucking scream

-

“haha! the police overlooked the clergy tattoo on the back of his neck!”

directly below the stab wound. the clergy tattoo. that has significance in their country.

Why do the Kooraheen Police suck so much ass? They can’t catch a running suspect, and apparently they’re all blind.

-

HOW DOES THE JUDGE NOT FUCKING KNOW A RELIGIOUS SYMBOL FROM HIS OWN FUCKING RELIGION?!?!?

-

[insert nahyuta eats (peach emoji)ass joke]

-

“aren't they utterly different shapes?”

...a... peach... and an upside down peach?!

nahyuta 

im gonna blow your mind

this is called a handstand, here, do it with me

-

lazy ass parents naming their kid “real name”

fuck this joke country

this is some ‘who's on first’ bullshit

-

RAYFA LUSTS FOR BLOOD

-

yeah it was freezing on that mountain, of course your estimate was wrong.

i knew this was coming...

-

hebLINDED HER WITH SCIENCE

BEEP BA BOO BA

-

“this article is small in size but huge in importance!”

just like my d––

-

How... did this work? They did a great job of hiding that wound...

also no blood at the “scene of the crime”

yeah not suspicious at all

-

once again the prosecution blames the detective for something they couldn’t have helped :/

GUARD YOUR ASSHOLE EMA, GUARD YOUR ASSHOLE

HOLY SHIT

INSERT REFERENCE TO ABOVE PEACH JOKE

-

loud ass clock inside a secret hideout? good one, rebels. super well done.

-

ahhhh

now that is clever. i like that

although, considering the length of that statue’s beak, he should’ve been impaled right through his body, so.....

you were close, SOJ

glad to see more clever twists though. 

-

game ruins everything with blatant hints

-

there are other cases where they can tell when two weapons have been used on the same wound

why cant they tell now?

-

stone sharp enough to cut skin??

-

your hideout is fucking death trap

good going rebels

-

youre using serial killer wrong... again

-

thats a lie, nobody likes swiss cheese

-

LAY OFF CHEESE YOU PIECE OF SHIT

ILL RIP YOUR ASS OUT

-

“what you said is total bullshit!! heres what happened; this, this this. and since I said it ,its true! without any proof!!! SO THERE”

-

phoenix: VALID POINT!

sadmad: bullshit excuse

judge: sounds legit, overruled!

-

“jeez just toss me an Axe if its that bad...”

-

“plotting your escapee from this sacred hall?”

yeah well just run out

-

“you would pin a crime upon the dead, who you know tell no tales?”

uh

did you just forget the whole

soul pool thing or

are you just stupid

-

aw baby here we go

-

stop saying 30% you dont know shit

-

oh my god

whoa whats he doing with the magatama

-

“wait... i think i saw something just now...”

what, phoenix

what did you see, hmm?

-

“the power of prayer! yes... it uh... helps you... install listening devices in your secrets base uuhhhhhh...ITS NOT WEIRD

-

“She has a way of putting me at ease...”

(weeps) my babies

-

(sigh) its the wife, get on with it

-

“long years of ascetic training have sharpened my ears”

god the training is more useful to Athena than it is Maya. this is depressing.

-

make like a mollusc and clam up??? who says that???????

-

boy you sure fuckin suck at this Mr. Inmee

-

judging by that KAAHHH Tahrust should have a deep voice, and DD had a deeper male voice blip... why aren't they using it? they've already implemented singing blips and tutting blips, did they forget about the extra deep blips?

or are those reserved for demons?

he is a ghost...

-

...how far along is behleeb anyway? either I'm blind or the sprite artist forgot to give her a baby bump.

hey yeah! she's barely pregnant! her character art shows that! so its not so much of a stretch that she could be running around killing rebels. Plus, she hasn’t been pregnant for two years...

...of course, its not her, it’s rUHEEL NAYMUH, but still. she’s not far along enough to be inconvenienced by her child. 

-

potato potahto tomahto egg salad!!

stop praying at me, nahyuta.

-

dont you fucking dare...

dont you even fucking dare

-

THEY DARED

I SWEAR TO FUCK

i swear to fuck 

so. youre gonna blame maya. for the actions. of YOUR OWN GODDESS. 

WHO’S GREAT AND POWERFUL AND MYSTICAL AND WISE AND PERFECT.... UNLESS SHE’S BEING CHANNELED BY A DIRTY FOREIGNER?

i just i cannot express how angry this makes me. it doesn’t make any fucking sense and it’s complete and utter hypocrisy. it’s even worse than before;  before they were suggesting that the person dressed as Lady Kee’ra was killing rebels in her name, if it wasn’t outright her. Now they’re suggesting it was LITERALLY HER, and remember, these people are UBER RELIGIOUS, and they still have a problem with THEIR IMMORTAL GODDESS IN THE FLESH exacting her divine punishment against people THAT ARE HARMING THEIR COMMUNITY ANYWAY???

yes, vigilantism is dangerous. but it gets a little more fucking complicated when you suggest that it’s the legit actions of an ACTUAL GODDESS.

and even if this is the corrupt government just trying to cover up deaths (which it is) why didn’t they just step in and go “Yeah, another Lady Kee’ra murder. All hail the marvellous goddesses. er diarrhoea kooraheen.”

it would be a lot easier and a lot less messy than taking a kid to court. why do they even want Maya out of the way, anyway? She didn’t know any of the rebels, and she posed no threat to their corrupt government. Yeah, Zealot’s dead, but they literally could have just hired another crazy assassin. 

Unless there’s a REAL GOOD FUCKIN REASON for all of this, I call bullshit, bullshit bULLSHIT

-

i think it’s time to let your head go and move on to another room sadmad

at the same time

-

...plus they legit just forgot their own lore.

maya can’t summon Kee’ra if she doesn’t know what she looks like.

that was so easy i didnt have to even press on statements; thats how easy that contradiction is. thats how easy it is to remember something stated five minutes ago, and how easy it is to remember how your own religion works. you fuckhats.

-

oh hey i just realized Tahrust really does call Behleeb his “lovely wife” 

aw. how nice. if only they didnt decide to scapegoat maya.

doesn't matter your intentions; you die if you scapegoat maya. you die by my blade.

-

you ok pal. is an alarm clock really the source of an evil laugh.

-

“indeed! we leave the alarm switched off at all times!”

why would you even have a clock with an alarm on it in a secret base anyway?? and how did phoenix manage to play it in the hideout if the alarm was switched off? 

-

“those distinctive taiko drums”

fuckin’ finally

ive been waiting for that stupid watch to come back for AAAGEES

of course there was a reason maya would mention traditional japanese instruments...

-

y’know it’s funny that he would even make that fuckup in the first place. if he’s a plumed punisher fan, he should know how the theme song goes. his wife was at least a big fan, meaning he’d probably have heard the opening enough times to know that Taiko drums weren’t part of it. Furthermore, if he was banking on the fact that the two themes sound similar to pass off the deception, then it was a huge mistake on his part to define the sound as Taiko drums; thats just a needless detail that could get him caught out, which it did. 

and if he just didn’t know, well... again, useless detail. always bad. always be vague if you wanna get away with shit.

-

ah... at least in death, Raheel Namer didn’t have to suffer the Plumed Punisher theme song.

-

i love that phoenix refers to the show by it’s full title. that’s adorable.

-

now what’s really confusing me is that that Photo of the fam is stated to have been taken during the Feast of whatever. Which is the same time-frame as Reely Real Name’s death. He’s alive in the photo, Behleeb is in the photo, and the Judge and his family are nowhere to be found. But all those things were huge parts of the case, and they couldn’t have eaten before or after because of the whole ‘you can only eat Ghingil for three hours on that one special day’.

am I missing something or going nuts??

that said I'm so glad i can finally present this photo. it’s been gnawing at me as much as the watch thing.

-

“trademark topknot”

-

OH PLEASE JUST LET IT END

ffjglk dlg ljlgkd   hey Tahrust do me a solid and just tell them how you died ok 

please i have a family

i have stomach ulcers

-

oh

off-brand logic 

i totally forgot that was in this game too

-

wow.

“hmm, there’s really nothing to suggest a murder other than the red water in the spring, which only Maya would see and probably not question (considering this isn’t her religion and she doesn’t fuckin know how that shit works) and said spring probably empties somewhere, since it would be swampy otherwise. let’s see... i can KILL MYSELF TO GIVE THE RED WATER A REASON FOR EXISTING or do literally anything else... WELP, BETTER FUCKIN KILL MYSELF. ALL HAIL THE REBELS!”

...well at least he saved maya from contracted a blood disease.

-

tahrust must be pissed that his death came to naught when his own rebel pals gave the secret key to a guy who sold them out in five seconds.

never gets to meet his child... never gets to see the revolution come to fruition... never gets to live happily with his family... all because he couldn’t think of any other solution to protecting that shitty hovel behind a rock.

kinda tragic.

wish i was less angry

-

“there was no weapon at the inner sanctum...”

did everyone just forget the giant bloody murder statue???

-

pohl’fuckya sadmad

-

babe... oh no... don’t give yourself up like this

thats sad

dont 

i feel the sad now

shit

-

“abbot inmee!! summon a physician at once!!’

HES DEAD

WAY TO RUIN THE MOMENT WITH UNINTENTIONAL COMEDY DUMBASS

-

“but murder sanctioned by the crown is still murder”

what’s murder sanctioned by a goddess? apparently you guys are ok with that one. oh unless it’s a goddess being channeled by a foreigner.

soerry im bitter about that one moving on now

-

he lunged at you from behind the stone slab?? nice trajectory moron

-

hang on a second he put reereenaymee’s body in the plaza before prayer time... with the dagger still in him??

HOW DID NOBODY NOTICE THE FUCKING DAGGER

-

“you need not frame the accused for your crime”

for once Sadmad says something smart

-

honestly... suicide really wasn’t the answer. even if it was to protect your wife there were,,,,, so many other options

for example, realname’s last moments, as we saw, made it look like he was killed in the Plaza of devotion. You could have so easily made it look like he was murdered there, by some rando, during the rite. The kooraheen police fucking suck at their job, so it wouldn’t matter. but no; you had to die, and blame Maya.... because she was foreign. A foreigner who came to you for guidance and shelter. 

-

STOP AGREEING WITH ME SADMAD, I DONT LIKE YOU

-

“You must use your law powers to make sure no more innocent people suffer under this shitty law!!

...like Maya did!! .......because of me!!

-

i love that the excuse is like “there’s no way she could prove it was self defence in this government...” to make it all tear-jerking and point out how horrible and corrupt their legal system is...

...and yet, if we remember Reunion and Turnabout, which also included channeling and self defence... It was EQUALLY impossible for Maya to be cleared of the crime on self-defence charges!!

pot calling the kettle black, japanifornia!

-

“lol sorry for almost getting you killed cause i couldn't think of a better plan than kill myself”

yea thanks tahrust, coo-al

-

“I ask that you look after my wife”

er she’s... going to jail... she’s... been outed as a rebel... you do get that right

-

fuck you Tahrust, you made her cry

-

“now you can watch over me from the world beyond”

he cant actually, since they retconned spirits being conscious in the afterlife. good going, capcom.

-

oh man that cutscene was goofy. except for the crying

fuck you Tahrust

-

Maya: :D hOW y'all doin?!

also according to maya Tahrust didnt leave any regrets behind which means that he totally gives no fucks that his dumbass plan endangered Maya’s life and made his wife cry. Dick.

He doesn't even regret missing the birth of his fuckin child. Ass.

-

Sadmad: I owe a debt to you, one that I will return––

Me: Eat a rotten egg.

Sadmad: Wha-–

Me: Go on, master of putrescence. Eat a whole rotten egg. Consume it shell and all. You heard me. Insert the egg into your mouth and chomp down. Times ticking, I’m waiting.

-

i forgot about the stupid butterflies

-

“So I was thinking, Nick, the legal system here is really stacked agains the defence! It’s really unfair!”

YA DONT SAY

-

listen to this happy music playing as everyone is forced to come to terms with all this sad ass shit. also it appears we just forgot about that tiny matter of the government literally putting hits out. Rayfas dad. is doing this. Nobody gonna address that?? No? Ok

-

Maya: QUIT BEINA LIL BITCH

wait what 

what is this new sprite

eurhg i dont like it put it away

thats not maya thats a husk of evil

-

wow. rayfa didnt even know why maya was here training. the bullshit continues to flow...

-

Maya: deciding what is true and what is false for your people...

the actual truth and lies, right? RIGHT? MAYA???

-

ergh this is so... corny? schlocky? it feels forced

-

“Sorry for almost getting you killed anyway VIVE LA REVOLUTION”

-

Yay! It’s vore man!! i kinda missed his stretchy face.

-

oh well that

thats just a really anticlimactic reveal of Dhurke

like tada! there he is! and he's gone! whatever; he's just been talked about in hushed whispers for the last case or w/e!

-

awww the bailiff thinks he can catch a running rebel!! so cute~

-

“The Steel Samurai vs Dhurke the Rebel!”

MAYA. THE LAST FIVE MINUTES WERE DEVOTED TO EXPLAINING THAT THE REBELS ARE THE GOOD GUYS. WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM???

-

i love that they keep hammering in that “maya has stayed maya”

see guys??? dont you just feel the magic of the trilogy??? ITS THERE GUYS WE SWEAR

-

Welp, thats it for that case. Now back to America, to visit Athena and BK, and hopefully to read a more enjoyable storyline...