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astrology-with-charu · 3 years

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𝐌𝐚𝐲 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟏 𝐀𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐲 𝐇𝐨𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐞 : 𝐊𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐬 & 𝐔𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐮𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐬

𝗢𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗶𝗲𝘄

While the Scorpio full moon we just experienced along with Pluto retrograde would continue to bring things up from below the surface that need to be handled, faced and healed, we would start now working on the future. May would have not just a new moon in Taurus, giving us a fresh boost of self worth and net worth so we can start building our new life on firm grounds, we would also have three fated encounters on 10th, 17th and 31st May which will bring more clarity to our life path which would unfold further with the eclipses we are about to experience end May and June. We will dig deeper into all of this today and then in part 2 delve deeper into May themes by sign.

𝕂𝕖𝕪 𝔻𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕤

𝟚𝟟 𝔸𝕡𝕣𝕚𝕝 𝕥𝕠 𝟙𝟙 𝕄𝕒𝕪 : 𝔽𝕦𝕝𝕝 𝕄𝕠𝕠𝕟 𝕚𝕟 𝕊𝕔𝕠𝕣𝕡𝕚𝕠 𝟟º𝟘𝟞’

𝟚𝟟 𝔸𝕡𝕣𝕚𝕝 : ℙ𝕝𝕦𝕥𝕠 𝕣𝕖𝕥𝕣𝕠𝕘𝕣𝕒𝕕𝕖 𝟚𝟞º𝟜𝟠’ ℂ𝕒𝕡𝕣𝕚𝕔𝕠𝕣𝕟

𝟛𝟘 𝔸𝕡𝕣𝕚𝕝 : 𝕊𝕦𝕟 𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕛𝕦𝕟𝕔𝕥 𝕌𝕣𝕒𝕟𝕦𝕤 𝟙𝟘º𝟜𝟙’ 𝕋𝕒𝕦𝕣𝕦𝕤

𝟙𝟙 𝕄𝕒𝕪 𝕥𝕠 𝟚𝟞 𝕄𝕒𝕪 : ℕ𝕖𝕨 𝕄𝕠𝕠𝕟 𝕚𝕟 𝕋𝕒𝕦𝕣𝕦𝕤 𝟚𝟙º𝟙𝟠’

𝟙𝟛 𝕄𝕒𝕪 : 𝕁𝕦𝕡𝕚𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕞𝕠𝕧𝕖𝕕 𝕚𝕟𝕥𝕠 ℙ𝕚𝕤𝕔𝕖𝕤

𝟙𝟘,𝟙𝟟,𝟛𝟙 𝕄𝕒𝕪 : ℕ𝕠𝕣𝕥𝕙 ℕ𝕠𝕕𝕖 𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕛𝕦𝕟𝕔𝕥 𝕄𝕖𝕣𝕔𝕦𝕣𝕪, 𝕍𝕖𝕟𝕦𝕤, 𝕊𝕦𝕟 𝕒𝕥 𝟙𝟘º𝟜𝟝’ 𝔾𝕖𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕚

𝟚𝟡 𝕄𝕒𝕪 : 𝕄𝕖𝕣𝕔𝕦𝕣𝕪 𝕘𝕠𝕖𝕤 𝕣𝕖𝕥𝕣𝕠𝕘𝕣𝕒𝕕𝕖 𝕒𝕥 𝟚𝟜º𝟜𝟛’ 𝔾𝕖𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕚

𝟚𝟛 𝕄𝕒𝕪 : 𝕊𝕒𝕥𝕦𝕣𝕟 𝕣𝕖𝕥𝕣𝕠𝕘𝕣𝕒𝕕𝕖 𝕒𝕥 𝟙𝟛º𝟛𝟙’

Read it on the Medium

Listen to the podcast

Watch it on YT

𝗠𝗮𝘆 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟭 & 𝗧𝗮𝘂𝗿𝘂𝘀 𝗡𝗲𝘄 𝗠𝗼𝗼𝗻

Right at the onset of May on May Day we have Sun and Uranus making a surprising contact at the very degree we would have solar eclipse - fated new start in April of 2022. The shifts we are bringing this month especially in first half of the month have structural implications on what we are going to grow in 2022 financially and physically. We are taking those first steps of making a change in our life which underlines financial independence, shift in our values and shift in how we create value. Even shift in what we perceive to be stable and what we perceive to be gainful and beautiful. The definition of abundance is being changed and as our values shift so does our external reality. In the same vein definition of love and creativity is being progressively changed as the way we choose changes. The things we did before which seemed to form the structural part of our world, now do not seem to be inline with our new values. Uranus is a trigger which would show us a stale situation which needs changing and its been trying to do so since 2019. Now its entered its second decan, the Virgo dominant decan where we now do something useful and practical to make those changes. It also comes with more flexibility versus the initial rigidity to change we might have experienced.

There is an inner separation from our own old inauthentic identity or even father figure as a new discovery of our unique identity begins.

At 10º41 Taurus we create a new ego, its almost the old identity has been eliminated, weeds are being eliminated one by one and a new self is being born. “As the roots, so the flowers” said Rudhyar of this degree. We are ready for a new bloom and we would become ego attached to a new identity, such is human nature. We would nurture it, water it, love it and expect the world from it. This is the period of “Cultivation”. We must use May for nurturing and cultivation of our new roots. Which would culminate in the full flower supermoon on 26th May which is a lunar eclipse this month - closest full moon of this year.

Remember this is part of our chart where once we make home, we tend to live longer.

So whatever new source of income or new assets or personal resources or investments or heart choices you are cultivating remember you are laying down grounds for the long haul. It would feel that its not going at the speed you want, especially financial aspect of it. Words would be flowing fast, ideas and even documents may be going but that solid growth and ground might look slow. That’s a topic of 2022 when North node comes in Taurus and accelerates that element.

Do not forget Mother’s Day on 9th May ! Venus would be square Jupiter day before at last degree of Taurus, some people are about to go overboard in their purchases.

𝗝𝘂𝗽𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗺𝗼𝘃𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝗣𝗶𝘀𝗰𝗲𝘀!

Jupiter the planet of expansion moves into its own sign and in its full strength briefly from 13 May to 28 July before it settles down fully in Pisces for 2022 starting 28th December 2021. This is a preview period and we will see growth in faith, spirituality, compassion and idealism. We last had this transit in 2010. So you can review what shifted for you in Jan 2010 when Jupiter last just entered Pisces. This preview would also show us the growth we would fully experience in 2022, as well as some over the board optimism or even misleading or inflated expectations. I have put the brief of my previous note on the 2022 Jupiter Neptune cycle at the bottom of this note for your reference. We are more open to choices but all choices aren’t lucrative, this might be a good season to lay some good ground rules. But overall this is a very expansionary transit and Jupiter works very well in Pisces so expansion and growth is greatly supported. This transit especially sprouts creative geniuses.

Covered by zodiac sign earlier this year

𝗠𝗲𝗿𝗰𝘂𝗿𝘆 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗦𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗻 𝗥𝗲𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗱𝗲

Contracts, agreements, discussions agreed past 14th May might need some revision as Mercury would go retrograde after 29th May. Fated encounter need a bit more time to be fully understood and messaging of them may not be clear at the onset. We might in early June take a bit of step back to make sense of it all. This would also be supported by Saturn going retrograde, there might be structural changes required in our plans, getting some boundaries and rules right to make what we are initiating is more abundant. After 23rd May till 10 Oct there might be structural reworks which would be needed in our vision and plans to make them more resilient. It will also be the time to evaluate where healthy boundaries need to be built with friend, our network and sibling.

𝗙𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗥𝗮𝗵𝘂 𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀

Each of the fated encounters of 10th May, 17th May and 31st May come with the Saturn trine giving us discipline to make the structural changes I just spoke of. It’s the pie in the sky thoughts, ideas and discussions we had in March and April are now being given substance. These dates and a day before / after give great opportunities to have a productive talk with authorities, progress on approvals and guidance from an elder or experienced person. These are the “rising to the occasion” contacts - these are unexperienced grounds of potential. After 10th of May and especially 17th of May you would truly feel yourself free from the past and moving into this unchartered territory we are about to chart together. Stay flexible, open and present as it would require us to leave our old life belief system behind as south node asks us to release our beliefs and replace them with new information.

All of these fated encounter come in close contact with one of the great stars in the sky, one of the four Royal stars of Persia, the Archangel star (Michael), the Watcher in the East, called Aldebaran. Contact with this star has promise of success or happiness but it comes with a test of integrity. We would be faced with an issue of integrity and would have to rise to the occasion. A very famous example is of Edward VIII who fell in love with a divorce and even though the most logical & traditional choice would have been to compromise his integrity he abdicated the throne to marry the woman he loved. We would have to live by the morals even though the temptation to not follow them would be high. Galileo Galilei rebelled against the church announcing that Earth was the one that orbited around the Sun at the risk of being arrested & imprisoned. We would have to rise up for our truth as we encounter some moral dilemma.

Mars met this start on 26th March with influence across end of March - did you had to take a high road on a subject which was tempting ? Were you prompted in some way to change your course to take the road less travelled yet the one thats morally and spiritually more in line with you ? Well I have my natal Venus on Aldebaran so I was. If it was the case for you, you would see more progress, more information on that choice you are making.

𝗠𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗵 𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗘𝗰𝗹𝗶𝗽𝘀𝗲𝘀

As we go towards the month end, I do believe activation of this star which has Mars like equalities, we could see our world leaders encounter this very moral dilemma. When Mars met north node in Gemini last in March Biden had called Putin the “murderer” and ofcourse Ever Given went on giving stuck in the Suez Canal. It was also the deadliest days in Myanmar protests. This all coupled with the eclipses, Saturn standing still and Saturn square Uranus becoming exact in June, makes for an intense month end and summer.

Communication would be charged up, transportation a bit haywire as people try to speed and we would want to go hundred miles a minute in our mind, hands and voice. Use your words wisely and its a great opportunity to make once in 19 years progress on our written, creative, verbal, communication, commercial projects and skills.

Due to the eclipse of the month end on 26th May with south node and its history, I do not recommend to travel or be engaged in religious group activities which can lead to crowds. You always have to use your own judgement in whats best for you but astrologically this eclipse comes with a travel or religious incident.

As Saturn would go retrograde on 23rd of May and square Uranus for a second time on 14th June, the Saturn in Aquarius and Saturn square Uranus themes of breakthrough, rebellion, regulations on innovation especially tech become stronger as we approach June. More regulations would be drafted over this period of Saturn strength especially covering innovations in financial system such as digital currency, stock market, investments, land use and at some point food innovation.

Covered in the past in details as below :

Saturn Square Uranus : Overview

Saturn Square Uranus : By Zodiac Sign

More on eclipses soon!

Have a great month ahead.

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𝗥𝗲𝗹𝗲𝘃𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗘𝘅𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗽𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝗽𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗼𝗻 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟮

“Jupiter the planet of expansion is moving into Pisces fully after 28th Dec and it will meet Neptune at yes at this spot on 12th April 2022 which would be a outer planet meet colouring global events of 2022. This is a once in 166 years of divine cycle when optimism hits up our dreams and inflated expectations are very much at root of this cycle. We are seeding that cycle right now with this new moon so a bit of inflated expectations are in. But so are prospects for creative genius, compassion, inspiration, positive thinking, divinity. In 1856 when this cycle was last seen in Pisces - Sigmund Freud was born; Frank Baum the author of The Wonderful Wizard of Oz was born ...Robert Peary who claimed discovery of North Pole was born... I can go on... Nikolas Tesla was born - creative genius underlines this cycle which is about to begin in 2022.

But there would also be delusional leaders, bad intention false hopes and inflation which would come with this. Seeds of that also is being planted now in inflated expectations and idealism. This cycle has deep implications for change in religion and spirituality. Also on weather patterns especially linked to floods, hurricanes - the Last Island Hurricane in US which destroyed Last Island was part of last cycle as was a massive church explosion. This was also first year when the Third Party in US called “Know nothing American Party” fought elections. Seeds of American civil war were grown in this cycle as well back in 1856. “

18 notes · View notes

silverostro · 3 years

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EMBERS TASK // LETTERS

sent and unsent letters to: @othcrhalf, @honimoore, @ncllysnge, @swannscngs, @sinksand, @digitalrcge, @dawnhardn, @blythefm, @hovergrove

we put down in writing what is happening in our minds once it’s on the paper we feel better, we feel better it’s like some kind of clarity when the letter’s done and signed

to robyn, sent before the 74th hunger games

Robyn,

I know how much you hate the very thought of receiving a letter, yet alone writing a response, but unfortunately you’ve humored me enough that it’s habit to think of you when I sit to write. Old-fashioned, perhaps, but also safer. And there’s something about the act that brings honesty that’s more difficult to offer face to face, or over telecom even, if you’ll forgive a moment of vulnerability.

This letter is out of character, to be completely honest. I apologize that you won’t find the usual ranting and raving about my work, or any of the indifference that I know you adore so much from me. I’m certain you’ll miss it this once, but I promise we’ll be back to normal soon enough. If it helps, you’re welcome to include a few comments speculating on what will surely be another silver monstrosity I’m forced into for this year’s Games. Bacchus is hard at work as we speak, unfortunately.

But I digress.

Something about this year feels different. I know you understand that well, in a way that even I can’t fathom, and wish I had some way to ease. I’ve found myself considering this unease, this restlessness, and it took me far too long to realize what it is, selfishly, in my case.

I’ve never liked celebrating my birthday. The first birthday I still have memories of is my eighteenth; it was only a few days after I woke as a victor, all of my other memories distorted or gone. Ironic, isn’t it? A birthday I had been convinced a week earlier that I wouldn’t live to see, a thought I had made peace with the moment my name was drawn from that bowl, fate sealed, the first I still have memories of now.

I’ve been wrong more often than I would admit to most anyone else, but just this once I’ll admit it to you, Robyn.

This year’s birthday is...strange. They’re always strange, but they’re easy to overlook. In the wake of victories that are rarely Three’s, it’s easy to slip into the background. But I haven’t been able to stop my thoughts from lingering on how strange it is to be here at all. Forty. Horrifying, isn’t that? I should be pleased. I should be grateful to have lasted so long when I believed I wouldn’t live to see eighteen. And yet, in the quiet moments of the night, when it’s more difficult to fill the blank spaces in my life with work, such simply human needs as sleep making it impossible not to reflect. (Yes, even I need sleep, sometimes.) I can’t help but feel I haven’t done nearly what I should have with all of these unexpected years, though. Does that make sense?

I look around around my workroom, my home, the quiet almost eerie, if I wasn’t so used to it after so many years, and I realize that I’ve spent so much time in my own bruised mind, that I’m a little more than alone. Used to something no one should be used to. A circumstance of my own making. There aren’t many memories left of my parents, but the few I have, I remember the way they told me it was better to keep my head down, keep a distance from the world for my own safety. In the absence of their guidance, anyone’s guidance, I took those words to heart, and I did them well. But I have no one to blame but myself. I thought I wanted this, I thought distance would benefit me, but now? I’m not so certain it does.

I can only assume that your own birthday is something a little strange now, too. And I’m sorry for that. But I’m glad you’re still here.

All this to say, perhaps when I’m back in the Capitol, we could celebrate. Nothing wild, I’m much too old for that now, but... a drink or two? I think we could both use the distraction.

I’ll only accept your RSVP in writing...

Yours, Silver

to perri, sent shortly after the 66th hunger games

Perri,

A call would probably be easier, I’m well aware, but I can’t shake this paranoia lately, and the very real feeling that the static might crowd my mind and cause me to forget all I have to say, if I don’t put pen to paper. I know you understand.

I’d rather not give anyone a reason to keep a closer eye on me, or Three than they already have.

But it feels strange, not to be alone in victory any longer.

I should be grateful that for the first time one of the children put in my care against my will survived, but I’ve found it difficult to feel that way. Of course, I’m glad that she survived––I wish desperately she wasn’t the first in my years of mentoring to do so––but from what I’ve seen already of how the Capitol is going to treat her, this outcome feels just as horrible, in an entirely different way. I know I shouldn’t think like that. It’s cruel, and perhaps it’s selfish, too, in a way, because in survival there’s guilt. She didn’t survive because of anything I did; I haven’t made a real effort beyond the bare minimum since my first few years mentoring. I’m certain she realized that I thought she wouldn’t make it out of that arena.

Now there’s a reminder of my failures standing by my side. Now we’ll have to stand there together and watch children die year after year.

It’s not the same, but there are twisted parallels here that I have no desire to accept, but have somehow only fully realized now that Three has another victor. Parenthood and mentorship. Sometimes both as unwanted, and unasked for as the other. I don’t know how you do it, how you do both, when either alone is hard enough. This feeling of responsibility for another’s well being is terrifying. And I feel an immense amount of guilt for not allowing myself to see it that way until this year.

Could I have helped any of the others survive if I had tried harder? Would that have been dooming them to an even worse fate, if I did?

Am I cruel, for thinking this way? I can’t even tell anymore. It’s been too long, I have no sense of what’s normal any longer, if I did at all even before my own victory.

I’ll see you soon enough. It’s been a long time since I’ve had to go on a Victory Tour, I’m not sure I remember how it’s done. But I’m glad for the excuse to see you and Sage. Perhaps I can convince our watchers to let us have dinner with you. I have a feeling you would get along well with Digit, she reminds me a little of you when we first met all those years ago. Perhaps you can give her understanding that I haven’t been able to find yet.

Give Sage my love, as always. And I suppose you can have some of it for yourself, too.

Yours, Silver

to nelly, sent after the 70th hunger games

Dear Nelly,

You mentioned your newest set of stationary the last time we ran into each other, so I thought I might give you an excuse to test it out, in case you’re not waiting on any other replies at the moment. (Although I’m certain you have much more interesting letters waiting for you than mine.)

I hope you’re doing as well as anyone can, in between Games. I realized, as I sat down to begin this letter, that I’m not actually entirely certain what the life of an escort is like outside of the little I hear from ours. In fact, it’s rare that I see much of the Capitol at all outside of the bustle of the Games, usually sequestered in a windowless room in some high rise to do work when I am asked to come in during the off season.

Do you spend your time planning for whatever might come during the next Games, or are you allowed a few months of rest from responsibility? It says something that I can’t tell if the idea of rest sounds appealing or horrifying. Only I suppose it’s hard for me to imagine what life in the Capitol must be like, or even just a life without my days filled with work, no room to think of much else.

Although, that’s not quite true, is it? I’ve found enough time without work to write. Oh, and I apologize if this is utterly illegible. Years of making notes only for myself or my assistants’ interpretation has led to rather awful handwriting. Perhaps you can offer me some pointers, that seems like the sort of thing you would be an expert at, perfect handwriting.

Anyway, I could go on about what I’m currently working on, but I won’t bore you with those details, when I’ve done enough rambling as it is.

It seems that work is going to bring me to the Capitol for a few days in a week or two, perhaps I’ll see you at one of the parties they inevitably ask me to attend while there. The possibility of a friendly face at one of those events is always something to look forward to, at least.

In the meantime, take care of yourself, Nelly, you deserve a break.

Warmly, Silver

to swann, sent before the 72nd hunger games

Swann,

I hope I’m not being too presumptuous in writing to you. I know there’s no need for a letter, a call, at the very most, would have sufficed, if not simply a silent acknowledgement the next time we both find ourselves forced to attend a Capitol celebration. But something compelled me to do so anyway.

Perhaps it’s because understanding is such a rarity, even among the unfortunate many of us who have been put through what we’ve faced.

I know I wasn’t in any state to offer the appropriate gratitude at that party. This is something that I’ve dealt with for years, but it rarely becomes so bad so publicly. I hope you know that I would do my best to offer you the same understanding you gave me, if our positions were ever reversed. I’m not so certain I would be able do so with as much compassion and grace as you, but we all have our strengths. Mine clearly not being my memory.

Trust isn’t an easy thing to give, but the risk was worth it, in this case. Still, if you could keep the...severity of my situation quiet, I would be very grateful. Flaws, weaknesses are too dangerous for those in our position, I know you’ve seen that firsthand as well.

Which I suppose is why I’m all the more grateful for your help in remembering. That’s all I really wanted to say, I appreciated the reminder you gave me, and the humanity you showed. It’s all very easy to forget, sometimes.

There’s no need to write back.

Sincerely, Silver Ostro

to aven, unsent, written several years after desmond’s death

Aven,

I’ve been thinking about Thalia a great deal lately. And when I think of Thalia, I can’t help but think of you, as well, of course.

It’s not rare to see her face in nightmares, to see her body. I relive those last few moments of my Games over and over again more nights than not, slowed down, sped up, in excruciating detail each time.

I try to remind myself of what she was like before, but it’s been harder lately to remember those few good moments in the arena with her, when both of us were safe, when she showed me care it felt like I hadn’t been given in years.

It’s selfish, but I wish we could talk about her, like we used to. I want to hear your stories about what she was like back in Five, before the Games took her, about how the two of you got along. It was always easier to see her smile in my mind, instead of her death, right after you talked about her with me.

But that’s not fair of me to wish for, is it?

I know you blame me in some ways for what happened, and I accept that. I know what I create is used for, I know how dangerous it all is, even those things that would be harmless in less cruel hands than those of the Capitol, and yet I still do so anyway.

I have more blood on my hands that most victors, all without ever laying a finger on anyone.

Sometimes, I wonder if Thalia would have survived, if she hadn’t made the mistake of showing me kindness, and if everyone might have been better for that. I have a suspicion you know that feeling well yourself.

But there’s no use in speculation. We survived, and we continue to survive only because of the choices we’ve made. Choices that have hurt others we care for deeply. Perhaps that’s why it’s so easy to blame each other, to stay at odds, because we’ve both made those choices, and they’ve caused immeasurable pain.

It’s not easy to look into a mirror.

I could apologize to you, but nothing I can say will undo what I’ve been apart of, and what I’ve caused with my selfish desire to live, despite this not feeling terribly like life at all. So instead I’ll just say that I understand, even if you don’t want me to. And perhaps that’s as far as we can hope to get just now.

- Silver

dawn, unsent, written several years ago after oversharing then pulling away lmao

Dawn,

I owe you an explanation. In fact, I owe you much more than that, but I’ve never had such an easy time with admitting I’ve been wrong, expressing vulnerability, so all that I can offer just now is an explanation, as a start.

You might have guessed that I’m not used to talking openly when it comes to things more emotional. In the absence of many memories of my own childhood, I have to simply assume from what I’ve been told that this has always been the case, something that I learned early on from my parents, who were both more content to hole themselves up surrounded by electronics and blueprints, rather than face the world. Logic reigned in our home, from what I’ve heard, and the little I do remember now. There was never much sharing of emotions, and that was that.

After my Games, I suppose I took that to the extreme. But it’s easier to swallow it all down, bury it deep, when facing it might break you in ways that you’re not sure you could come back from.

This is my overly formal way of saying I’m shit at anything emotional. And when I’m faced with just that, it’s instinct to do exactly the opposite.

I’m self aware enough to know this is an instinct I need to break. And I’m self aware enough to admit that it’s not always as helpful as I like to believe it is, and that it’s possible, despite so much pain, to live through it with gentleness. You’re proof of that.

In our conversations, you opened my eyes to that possibility, something that I would have scoffed at if I had been told before witnessing it firsthand. At first, it was simple curiosity, you baffle me. I can hardly fathom how someone can be put through the cruelty and pain that you have, and still show such kindness for everyone.

You made me want to try, though. I don’t understand why you’re so intent on trying with me. That’s not something that happens often, I don’t give anyone a reason to want to try with me. And yet you shared, and somehow it compelled me to do the same.

And that was terrifying.

It’s not a good explanation––it’s one that I could use for each and every one of my actions in honesty––but it’s cowardice that made me run from that honesty. But perhaps it’s a start to admit that at all.

Next time, if there is a next time, I’ll try to do better.

- Silver

to blythe, unsent, written after the president’s party, kept in one of their notebooks

B.B.,

I needed to set our understanding in writing, for my own sake. Supremely ironic, isn’t it, that writing is less dangerous than words spoken. I’ve helped make sure of that, unfortunately, and so from the moment I left the arena I found myself clinging to the act of putting thought to paper for safety, I think.

But that’s neither here, nor there.

That hug you shocked me with during the party at the president’s mansion is something I’m considering. It was a surprise, but also a reminder of how much someone can say with something so simple. I’ve forgotten in my years spent with my head down, doing as the Capitol says, that simple can be powerful. An agreement sealed in that gesture, trust, perhaps. It left me speechless, unbalanced, but not in a negative way.

Before then, I can’t remember the last time I hugged anyone, isn’t that depressing?

Physical touch, any form of it at all, is such a rarity now that I hardly know how to react to it. I’ve spent so much of my life making certain I was beyond any such attachment that I’ve left myself thoroughly alone, when it counts. Strange, then perhaps, that I’m realizing how deeply I desire just that. I’ve been alone for a long time, I’ve kept myself alone for a long time. I’m tired of that.

(Maybe I’m presumptuous to think you understand that feeling well.)

Perfect timing, this strange little agreement of ours.

I’m well aware I’m not easy to trust, and I shouldn’t be. I’ve spent the past twenty-two years working for the very people who caused us all so much pain, helping them take lives, and keep us in line. It’s something I have to earn. Something I plan to earn, right along side the penance and control I so desperately seek. The risk you’re taking is not lost on me, and I’m grateful for it.

I’m going to do everything I can not to disappoint you, or any of the dozens of others I’ve already disappointed with my actions. I promise you that.

- S.O.

to digit, unfinished, written after the quarter quell announcement, kept with other letters

Digit,

If this letter ever makes its way to you, you’ll have to forgive the archaic form it’s taken, but I know you’re just as aware as I am that nothing spoken out loud is safe, and anyway, I’m not so certain I could put my thoughts into words if I tried, face to face.

That’s always been part of the problem, after all, hasn’t it?

We’ve agreed to try, but that’s much easier said than done after years of doing the opposite, years keeping as much distance as possible, despite the Capitol forcing us together.

There’s no need to beat around the bush anymore. You deserve candor in a way I’ve rarely offered, something I’m trying to learn to do better at, but still is a foreign concept in honesty.

I’m sorry. That’s the base of it.

You deserve more than just a simple apology, after everything that I have done, and even more so for the things I haven’t, but I’ve never been particularly good at this sort of thing. And I don’t expect your forgiveness, or anyone else’s for that matter. You, of all people, have every right and every reason not to offer it. What have I offered you, after all? Certainly nothing to inspire trust or faith.

My goal here is to do the opposite now. You’ll be a better judge than I am of if I’m succeeding in those attempts or not––and I’m certain you’ll have no trouble telling me bluntly if I am not––but as we’ve said, there’s little to do but try.

My fear is that I might not have a chance to get far enough to make a difference, and my hope is that you might be willing to keep trying in my stead if that happens. It’s a great deal to ask of someone I’ve given every reason not to trust me, but I trust you. Oddly enough, I’ve always trusted you, even if I’ve done nothing to show it. Almost laughable, how in forcing us together, the Capitol might have created its own problems by forcing me to care.

Because I do, despite what I’ve shown.

But I hope it’s not to late to admit that.

to hudson, unfinished, written after the quarter quell announcement, kept with other letters

Hudson,

This is a rather morbid letter, the sort of just in case I’d rather not consider, but with so much uncertainty, precautions need to be in place if things go wrong.

Firstly, I knew your parents, or rather, knew of them, when they were still in Three. And you deserve to know why you ended up where you are, too, I believe, whether they want to admit it, or not.

A well-kept secret in Three. We make the technology, and thus, as I mentioned during our brief conversation on the train, it’s more difficult for them to keep it from us. We’re as advanced as the Capitol in our own way, if not more so, if only covertly. There’s a thriving...market, as I’m certain there is in every district, numbered high or low. There are needs that aren’t met by strictly by the book, and there are those who are willing to bridge that gap, in various ways, for various reasons.

It’s a situation that we all have considered before, in various ways, a situation some of us have lived out, unfortunately. There’s the heroic thought, that if we were put in a position in which keeping quiet would doom us, but save others, we would holdfast. But the reality is not so simple.

I could never blame anyone for breaking under that pressure, under that desire to keep their own life, yet alone those of their family, safe. I know many who have done the same thing. In honesty, I’ve done just that, although not in such an outright way.

It’s preferable to take the lighter punishment, rather than something much worse in the name those you hardly know, isn’t it?

Is it?

I’m not so sure it is. I only wish I could offer some sort of reassurance that none of us will end up in a position like that again.

Which brings me to my second point. You’re intelligent enough that I believe you might have read between the lines during our last conversation. Personal projects that are not actually so personal. And I need someone to know that, several people to know that, in case something happens and I can’t see them through.

Communication, what we spoke about, sharing information between all of us, instead of trying to win this fight alone. But also weapons, for the inevitable. It’s all coded in my notebooks, and the blueprints are hidden away, but I think between Digit, and you, certainly you might be able to interpret enough of them to glean something useful. Enough that I might make it easier for you to help fix things. Or at least I hope so.

If not, I’m certain that you’re intelligent enough to come up with your own solution to this problem. Find a way to fix things, just as you mentioned to me you enjoy doing.

#emberstask #( cyber stockholm syndrome. )#( robyn. )#( perri. )#( nelly. )#( swann. )#( aven. )#( digit. )#( dawn. )#( blythe. )#( hudson. )#i miiiiight write more of these once i'm back tbh #but wanted to get these out b4 i head into the wilderness!!

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fellowstrangetownappreciator · 3 years

Text

Well, that was cold

I have mod that makes diseases actually dangerous. (actually several of them and they’re all listed here on Pleasant Sims’ modlist)

The first rotation? Everything’s fine. The only one who fell ill was John Burb and he, as a family Sim, was able to soup himself to health in no time.

The second rotation... Ajaj Loner got sick.

With cold.

I was like, “I know flu is pretty dangerous with this mod but cold should be fine, right? I mean, I used to have it four times a year. So glad it’s not flu!”

I thought I was lucky.

I wasn’t.

After Ajaj’s turn ended, he was free to wander around and spread the cold everywhere.

Because they have chemistry and she was on a prowl, I even had Nina Caliente seduce Ajaj. She got the cold but I was like whatever, she’s a strong quasi-alien, running nose for a few days won’t kill her!

How fatally wrong I was I realized during a vacation that Nina went on with her sister and Ajaj. She was just chilling, sleeping in her hotel room, when all of the sudden, Grim Reaper!

You sure, Dina?

Nina was dead. Dead from the cold. And she was pregnant, no less!

I reloaded because it was on a vacation and Nina was the only playable Sim, so I was quite worried what would become of the grave. I managed to get her home and moved Chloe Curious in, so that someone can eventually plead for her. She was lucky the second time around and survived. Chloe got infected but survived as well.

But we had an epidemic on our hands now. Ajaj and Nina have been quite successful generously sharing their cold all across the hood and I failed to keep track of who has it.

Still, I thought it wasn’t so bad. I didn’t understand the scale, I was still thinking that it was just Ajaj, Consort Capp and the Pleasants.

Again, I was wrong.

When I got in the rotation to the Capps (the Capps 1), everyone was infected. I was still optimistic, though, because we were talking about a household where 2/4 Sims are Family and one is a Family Secondary, they can bathe in the soup!

The teens ate their soup and survived.

Consort died that night. He was due to die at the end of their round anyway but because he didn’t do so of old age, his grandchildren received no bonus inheritance.

The only one who gained something from that was Olive Specter who was delighted to see Consort, her crush, perish, so she could finally raise him as a zombie.

Unfortunately I couldn’t find a screenshot of her actually raising him, so here’s at the very least Olive walking menacingly to work.

Anyway, moving onto the Capps again (the Capps 2, Goneril edition), things looked bleak. Goneril was pregnant and she and all the kids were infected. Albany was immediately called to action to generate enough soup but the house devolved into utter chaos. Everybody had their soup but just as they recovered, they got infected again!

Ok, I was thinking, Consort was quite old and fragile. Nina must’ve had the cold for a long time, given she was on a vacation. There’s no way the kids are gonna die on the first day they got infected. They had the soup, so I’ll send them to beds, so they can get a good-night sleep and enough rest.

Nope.

Ariel, a child, died in her sleep.

Nobody was able to get to her in time to plead for her.

While I was contemplating an in-character way of resurrection, Desdemona, a young teen, died in her sleep just about two hours after her sister.

Again, nobody was fast enough.

Luckily, Miranda was already in college and she was roommates with Ophelia Nigmos, who was in possession of a genie lamp she was safeguarding from Olive. Hearing about the tragedy that befell her friend’s family, moved by the death of a little girl and her not much older sister, Ophelia the Family Sim offered Miranda the lamp on the spot.

Miranda rushed home to drop off the lamp and then ran off so she doesn’t get infected. Well, she did anyway but since I haven’t played the college Sims yet, I don’t know of her fate.

Hal made a good use of the lamp. He rolled the wants to resurrect both his sisters and that’s exactly what he did.

He triumphantly finished making the wishes...

And dropped dead.

Another young soul succumbed to cold.

But! Since there was still a wish left and his sisters were back alive, Desdemona swiftly brought him back.

Ariel’s and Hal’s resurrections were perfect.

Desdemona’s was faulty, so her personality got reversed.

But as long as they’re alive and preferably not zombies, everything will do.

The Capps were all cured! Hooray!

Wait. Not all Capps. There was still Regan’s branch and, predictably, they were all infected. And this time, there was no Family Sim in sight.

The only non-infected Sim in the family was a little toddler. The poor, poor child was in for a life-long trauma.

Kent went quick and quiet the first night of their round. Regan fortunately recovered. Cornwall did too. They had a very lucky start of the round all together, I may add. Kent’s tragic death was followed by Regan’s demotion that lead to her subsequent want to quit her job (...and she was the only one who was making any significant money), then Cornwall set the house on fire while cooking breakfast, then he got fired.

Poor thing. First got house-fired, then job-fired.

Regan’s LTW was to reach the top of the Law career, so she got herself a new job there. On her first day, she got promoted!

And she brought home a friend! Sweet!

No... nooooo...

It was Ajaj F*ckin’ Loner.

Both Regan and Cornwall got infected before you could say “act your surname and social-distance, you jerk!”

Cornwall died almost immediately. Unfortunately, Regan was asleep and failed to get up and ambush the Grim Reaper in time.

On the bright side, she recovered!

So I watch her go to work, the nanny arrives to baby-sit the toddler, everything seems to finally have settled down.

But then I spot an unexpected movement in the house.

It’s Titania Summerdream. Who let her in? I have no idea.

It would be quite sweet of her to check on her friend Regan after she lost two family members and to help with her young daughter.

If... if she didn’t have the fricking cold!

Regan returned from work and I rushed to have her send Titania away.

Of damn course she didn’t go before giving the cold to Regan.

Now it was the third time Regan got infected and there were no other family members to take care of the toddler if she dies. It was very suspenseful. I decided to use extreme measures and I teleported Albany in, made him selectable and had him cook the soup.

Instead of that, he proceeded to bicker with Regan.

If he got re-infected, I swear...

Anyway, after a three tries or so, Regan got her soup and Albany was on his merry way away.

What a relief! I sent Regan to sleep, trusting the soup to do its magic. The next morning her needs all looked great! No notification yet but I was sure it’s gonna arrive any second. When suddenly...

Yeap, she died.

Regan Capp died the way she lived. Paying her family’s bills.

I used Simblender again to quickly move in Hal. He was there in time to plead for Regan!

And for the first time in the Capp household, he actually made it! He pleaded!

And... and... lost.

So I had him stay to take care of the toddler until their round was over. Then I moved them both back with Goneril’s branch.

At the very least young Ione, the genius toddler with maxed Logic skill, got something resembling a birthday party with her cousin and his boyfriend Alexander Goth.

Given that Montys had their losses as well, the cold has already taken out much of the adult population of Veronaville.

The only two adults left (not counting fresh elders Albany and Goneril) in Veronaville were in fact the Summerdreams who were extremely lucky and with an abundance of soup, they survived.

To be completely honest, I’m very happy with the mod. I tend to play large hoods and although it tends to be rather tragic, the occasional epidemic of cold trims the population down a bit without me killing anybody off and it gives the game an additional bit of challenge and randomness.

...or maybe I’m just a sh*tty person to my Sims.

Bonus screenshots of the Strangetown cold outbreak:

Vidcund Curious spent two nights sleeping in a chair in his children’s bedroom because he was afraid they’re going to die from the cold in their sleep and wanted to be there to plead for them. In the end it actually happened, he pleaded and managed to save his daughter.

The Smiths had to be unfortunately visited by the Therapist. PT9 died on the day he was supposed to die of old age but hours prior, he became yet another victim of the cold. And it was very unlucky, since it meant no inheritance and by the Watcher, Jenny and their 5 kids could definitely use it. They were completely broke.

But not everything was morbid and tragic!

Lazlo rolled quite the unexpected want to get married to his girlfriend, Cassandra Goth. They weren’t engaged, she wasn’t pregnant, he’s not a Family secondary, and the date they were on wasn’t even in the stage Sims usually roll engagement wants, he simply rolled it out of the blue. And of course I went with it! (Cassandra had recently divorced Don, rolling the wish to remarry almost immediately.)

The only family in the hood that could technically mass-produce medicine so that not everyone is dependent on the soup, the Beakers, of course didn’t. Why would they risk their hides, toying with the Mysterious Disease, when they didn’t have to? Instead, they social-distanced and spent the rotation raking in promotions and taking care of their army of children. (Loki kept rolling wants to get abducted and ARC wasn’t kind to them either. But with Loki being Family secondary and Circe leaving most of the parenting on him anyway, I don’t think they mind.)

Note the alien toddler, the second youngest child. He has 10 Nice points. That’s 4 points more than all 5 of his siblings and his parents combined. He’s gonna have a rough childhood, the poor thing.

Jill Smith managed to get nibbled on by the pack leader just in time, a few days before going to college. She’s thrilled by her new wolf-y powers! And regardless of what her mother says, she knows the fur goes with her school uniform just perfectly!

Rachel Pleasant, the youngest offspring of Daniel that he knows about (the second youngest overall), aged up into a child! And judging by the look on her face, she already knows how much of a mess her family is.

Not even being brought back from the dead made Desdemona Capp immune to the Summerdream charm. Bottom, the young Romance Sim, invited her girlfriend to hang out in their hot tub. It was an afternoon to remember for both of them.

Local ageing general married a successful young athlete, Kristen Loste. Unfortunately for everyone attending the wedding, the bride’s former roommate Chloe Curious decided that flirting with her literally the next interaction after Kristen said, “I do.” was a smart idea. No need to add that the wedding cake was left to rot forgotten, never cut. It was a sad wedding cake but even though it started to stink around two hours after the wedding, it still lasted longer than the marriage.

And far away in La Fiesta Tech, two estranged siblings were talking things out and healing their relationship.

Now I lost this hood (again) and started a new one, so the next gameplay post will probably feature the same characters in completely different circumstances and nothing is going to make sense but... what does anyway?

#the sims 2 #simbrl #strangetown #veronaville #pleasantview #gameplay #ts2 #the sims

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some-dr-writings · 4 years

Text

Gundham Tanaka x Reader One-shot: First Date

Winter always had this captivating beauty about it. A lonely kind of beauty, so distant yet distinct. Nothing was quite like just looking out the window at the snowy mountain forest off in the horizon. Winter break had come and most life fled from the place, returning to their families or simply hid in their dens, like you. With a mostly empty cup of hot coco in hand you looked out that open window as if in a daze. A breeze flew past making the sharp contrast between the cool it brought and the hot cup more apparent. Without realizing it you pulled the mug just a bit closer to your chest, wishing for more of that warmth.

Taking a sip from it, something caught your gaze. Out in the white that distinctive berry purple scarf and long black coat leaped out, like adding a drop of lemon juice to a mild milk tea. “Ice Lord Tanaka, returning to the dorms already?” It was odd for the man to be returning to the dorms in the morning hours. It always took so much time and effort to properly tend to his creatures that he hardly had time for much else. “Ah, so the watcher of endless shadows has risen to search this low domain for a change. The demon beasts have taken to laying dormant in the new creeping polar environs that all but consumed this land.” “Huh, I guess you don’t have much to do with most of them hibernating.” Gundham simply nodded drawing your attention to his scarf. There was no movement whatsoever. “Even the Dark Devas?” “Indeed, they have too.”

“Hey, Dark Lord, want some hot coco?” “Hmm, I see no reason to decline such an offer.”

Gundham leaned against the wall beside your window as you prepared him a drink. At first glance not many would assume the Super High School Breeder and Super High School Level Astronomer would be friends but you two were. You both were very introverted, not finding much stimulation from being with too many others or in loud situations, you two kept to yourselves. Ironically that’s likely what magnetized you to one another. You didn’t need to talk to enjoy the other’s company. There was no need to fill the air with meaningless noise. You never had ‘how’s the weather’ kind of conversations, when you spoke there was always a specific purpose behind it.

Funny thing, the first time you two met you never spoke. You had set up your telescope and were star gazing when you heard an owl. Not thinking much of it you looked though that telescope, having an uncharacteristically difficult time finding Saturn. Moments later you heard some rustling. Finally taking a look behind yourself you saw a man you’d come to learn was called Gundham, wearing a big, thick glove with an owl perched on it. Minding your own business, you went about readjusting your telescope. And there you two stood, Gundham tending to the owl and you internally cheering having finally found that planet. Hearing another hoot, you were surprised it was so close. The man was beside you and the owl perched on his arm kept looking at you. Cautiously the bird was held out to you. Confused yet intrigued you gently held up a hand and pet the bird on the head with the back of your fingers. It’s feathers seemed to fluff out making the creature look even softer than it actually was. Gundham’s eyes slightly widened in surprise seeing the creature’s reaction before pulling his arm back. Facing out into the distance Gundham then threw up his arm, sending the owl flying, never to be seen again. Reaching into a small bag you had beside you, you pulled out a pair of binoculars and passed them to Gundham so he could watch it leave just a few moments longer, even in the far distance. After some time of looking through it, Gundham passed the binoculars back to you. Placing them away you took a few steps back and gestured to the telescope. After a moment of hesitation Gundham looked through it. Much time was spent showing him a few more planets a couple of stars. Soon though you and Gundham parted ways the same way you met. Wordlessly as you looked to the sky and he the horizon.

“So, what are you going to do now?” “That, in fact, was what I was pondering myself till you summoned me.” “Huh… Well, if you have nothing better to do, why don’t we go on a date?” Suddenly loud stifled coughing erupted from Gundham as his entire face flushed such a velvety rose pink. Perhaps you should not have asked that as he was mid-sip. When his coughing fit was over you simply passed him a handful of napkins in case he splashed hot coco on himself in the momentary chaos. “You okay there, buddy?” “I, t-the Supreme Overlord of Ice, am fine! I am unflappable!” “Uh-huh, suuuuure.” “Don’t take such a dry tone with me!” “Okay, okay. Sorry.” A light chuckle bubbled up from deep in your chest seeing a light steam radiate off the Dark Lord’s still flushed face. “But, seriously though. Let’s go on a date. It seems neither of us have anything better to do today, and I don’t know about you, but I don’t mind the idea of being partners. You’re my closest friend, we get along great, any good romantic relationship needs a stable base, I can’t see a more stable base than being good friends, and you’re cute. But if you don’t want to that’s A-Okay.” “Seeker of the Void, you should not speak of partaking in courting rituals so lightly! You do realize you are speaking with the one who shall soon rule this world, Gundham Tanaka, the Overlord of Ice!” “Yeah, I realize that.” Gundham simply stared at you, his mind momentarily blanking. “C-courting me shall be no easy task! Do you truly wish to even attempt such an endeavor?” “Well, if the date doesn’t go well or feels like every other time we hang out, we can just pretend this never happened.” “No. If you’ve the courage to face me and say such things you shall not yield! Prepare you soul for the clash of a lifetime! If you’ve the power to see through your words and fight to the end, I shall await for your challenge at the gates of this confined land.” With that said he placed his mug on the windowsill and walked away.

“… huh.” After placing the mugs on the small coffee table in your room you shut the window… A bright red dusted your cheeks as the situation really sunk in. Flopping onto your bed you buried your face into a pillow. Yes, you had a crush on the Dark Lord for a long time, but you didn’t think he’d accept! You were just saying it casually to test the waters! Oh, curse how you always got so fixated on things and just can’t let go! You weren’t mentally prepared to already be doing this! You didn’t even have a plan! What were you going to do!? A movie? Shopping? What!? What do people do on dates anyway!? You never dated before, the only things you knew about dating were the little you heard from your classmates and the romantic subplots you’ve seen on T.V. shows and movies!

The icy wind blew past causing Gundham to tug even more at his scarf. A tinge of pink still softly dusted his cheeks since that proposal was made. A ‘date’… Even just merely thinking of that simple word forced his heart to pitter-patter faster and faster. How pitiful that a mere word could draw such a reaction from him. He was Gundham Tanaka and…. and… a-and… he had no idea what he was doing! But it was fine, it was going to be just fine. He was just going to hang out with you! It was fine! Right!? Maybe!? Like, sure, Gundham often found himself wishing you were by his side almost all the time, and the thought of going on simple little adventures like a date were all he dreamed of as of late, so doing for real should be fine, right!? He was getting the chance to do something he wanted! “BE STILL MY FLUTTERING HEART!” Who was he kidding, he was an absolute mess.

The sound of speeding foot falls crunching against snow rang out as you raced towards the breeder. “H-hey, Tanaka. So, is there anything you want to do?” “… You are the one who initiated this, I assumed you would have provided the ideas. Though, your consideration for my thoughts are appreciated.” “Well, if you don’t have any, I was thinking we could go for a walk at a park, maybe go shopping and watch a movie, take a nap, whatever we feel like really, oh and if we’re somehow lucky enough and the weather clears up, we could see a comet tonight! It’ll be extra gorgeous since it’s winter! In winter there’s less moisture in the air so the sky is more crisp and clear than at any other time! Though there are often clouds obscuring the view in this area so, it’ll be a gamble if we get to see much in the first place.” “Ah, go with our instincts and let the universe decide our fate, you’re saying. Very well then! I shall follow your lead.” “Alright, I guess we’ll just start walking and see where out feet take us!”

The pair of you walked in a comforting silence with your cheeks still red, but from the cold or your welling up feelings, neither of you knew. Having gotten to a park you found your gaze wandering around, lingering on the bare, spindly trees and that wavering gray lake. Glancing up at the sky you realized just how dark those clouds above were. Perhaps it would snow soon. The wind quickly picked up, constantly swirling and dancing about you two. It even threw up the long ends of Gundham’s scarf, whipping it around causing a crisp, sharp snap sound to occasionally ring out. With the noise neither of you noticed the similar clicking sounds that began to surround you till something hard hit your head. “Ouch! Wait, hail this time of year, or is it graupel?” All too quickly those ice chunks came raining down faster and faster as the wind grew more violent. “Or would this be sleet? Maybe we should ask a meteorologist. Is there a Super High School Level one at the school? But they’d li-” “Seeker of the Void, it matters not what it’s called. These are small, hard, painful attacks from the heavens. We must escape!” “Ah, you’re right! We can figure that out later!”

As you two ran with your arms covering your head, you raced to the small temple just ahead. “Well… at least we have shelter.” Gundham didn’t respond, just stoically looked out at the precipitation. “… Maybe going on a date today wasn’t the best idea. At least we got some exercise out of this.” You wanted to try seeing the bright side of this, but you could only find that one reason with your usual pragmatic approach. As you were searching through your coat pockets for your phone to look up if a Meteorologist went to Hope’s Peak, you suddenly heard foot falls. “Huh? Wa- Tanaka! Where are you going!?” “Wait here!” Gundham ran and slipped through the wind and hail not looking back. “… Tanaka you idiot! You’re just going to get hurt! What are you even doing!?” Seeing his form retreat off into the distance, a sigh escaped your lips. As much as you wished to chase after him, he specifically told you to stay put, so he clearly had some plan, but a plan for what? All you could do at this point was simply wait for him.

And so, you waited.

And waited.

Perhaps it was your unsteady mind making the time feel like it was ticking away at such a slow pace, perhaps he truly was taking so long, but that time waiting for him to return felt like a thousand days. It was certainly not helped by you constantly looking down the white covered path the man had left on, but you couldn’t get yourself to do anything else, you were much too antsy. Then finally you saw a figure. Not even giving it a second thought you raced to it. Surely enough it was- “Tanaka!” You managed to stop yourself in time to keep from crashing into him. Absolutely out of breath, Gundham rested his hand on his slightly bent knee trying to catch his breath. His scarf hung loosely around his neck. “A. There is no Super High School Level Meteorologist. B. Were you running this whole time!? In THIS wind!” It was then you suddenly noticed what Gundham held towards you. “I-I have procured the best charm I could find in the cl-closest marketplace.” “An umbrella! Thank you Tanaka. Though, we could have just stayed at the temple for a while. You didn’t have to go to this much trouble. You must have gotten pelted by the hail or whatever this is. It must have hurt.” Straightening himself out, he looked you directly in the eyes. “I am the Overlord of Ice; these mere pellets can do no such harm to me! I was the only one who could salvage this date. Even if the heavens try to disrupt this union, this ritual, no such thing as fate shall stand in my way!” The softest, most tender of smiles formed on those lips of yours even in that harsh wind, sent the Ice Lord’s heart a flight faster than the flutter of a butterfly’s wing. “… o-oh. Thank you, that’s so sweet.” “S-sweet!?” As you took a step closer, he could feel his entire face igniting in that familiar heat. How were you able to do this to him without even trying?

Wanting to just momentarily hide away to compose himself he tugged up on his scarf. Just as he did so, more wind came thrashing about, stealing the garment. “Your scarf!” You immediately chased after it, leaving Gundham to run after you, desperately holding the umbrella just out far enough to cover you. Zipping from left to right to any direction it was thrown higher and higher. “I think it’s gone into the street!” “Void Seeker! You don-” “Rental bikes!” Dashing out of the park you smashed some yen haphazardly into the slot and took out a bike. You were already riding away when Gundham managed to hop on the bike stand pegs on the back wheel before you left without him. Gripping your shoulder for balance he used his other hand to hold the clear umbrella before you, acting like a windshield of sorts.

You certainly never thought you’d ever find yourself peddling on a bike so fervently in a storm before but here you were, fighting against the wind, suddenly swerving around the few cars that passed your way, making sharp turns when your balance was tossed off, desperate not to crash! The ice certainly didn’t make things any easier, causing the ground to be slippery and bumpy at the same time making control almost near impossible. Despite Gundham’s best efforts those ice chunks crashed into you, and even almost into your eyes at times.

Sliding down a steep hill you had to take your feet off the pedals fearing the overwhelming speed would break your knees. Everything was but a blur as you zipped down faster and faster. “Wait!” You looked over your shoulder to see Gundham, hoping being just a bit closer would make your voice a little more clear even in the thundering clicks and howls. “We might be fast enough now!” “What!?” “Tanaka get your scarf! It might be our only chance!” Understanding, he gave you a firm nod. You tried keeping the bike steady for Gundham, who had to stand on his tiptoes reaching out as far as he could. It seemed each time the scarf was within reach it slipped from his fingers. Every single time! “Tanaka!” You were already speeding all too closely to the bottom of the hill, and you had to make a sharp turn.

…

With a groan you slowly pushed yourself off the ground. “Y/N!” “Huh? Who is-… Tanaka?” He was absolutely unrecognizable. Never before had you seen him so close to you. Never before had you seen him look so worried, scared even. Never before had you heard him call you by your first name. “Where are you hurt? How are you feeling? Do I need to summon healers?” “Did you get your scarf.” “… Seeker of the Void! Now is not the time to fret over such things! What is most important is your wel-” “I see it, your scarf!” You hopped to your feet, quickly racing to it before it got uncaught in the fallen, dented bike. “I got it!” Immediately Gundham was at by your side, dropping the broken umbrella. “You appear well enough.” “Ah! Sorry! I just wanted to get it before it was blown away again. As for me… very sore, maybe some bruising, but nothing bad. I think I more rolled than crashed. What about you?” “Heh, a pitiable attack such as that is no match for me!” “Good!”

A deep sigh escaped you as you picked up the bike. “That was certainly more than enough excitement for a week.” “Let us take shelter there for the time being.” He pointed toward a little café nearby. “What about the bike? I don’t think we can take in it in with us.” “Leave it out here. Look around, other than us no others dare to brave this treacherous terrain. Though should our transport be taken, I’ll pay the price, this is done on my suggestion after all.” Though a little hesitant you decided to go along with that plan.

Stepping into the café was like entering another world. So peaceful, so calm, it was absolutely lovely! When you and Gundham sat down you realized just how exhausted you felt. You simply let yourself sink into the seat. “… Maybe I should have thought this out more. It was awfully spur of the moment asking you out.” You looked out the window to the chaos that dwelled outside. “It was cloudy, I should have had the forethought to check the weather at least.” “Seeker of the Void.” “I mean, I was actually awake in the day and not napping to go stargazing tonight because I knew the weather wasn’t good.” “Void Seeker.” “Maybe I-”

Your thoughts suddenly came to a halt feeling your foot being nudged. “Huh?” Gundham sat there with his arms folded. His gaze seemed to bore holes into your figure, focusing solely on you. “The past matters not. You may dwell on possibilities all you like, but that will not change it.” “Yeah, you’re right. We’ve just got to make the most of this moment, right?” “Exactly.” Seeing that small kind smile curl on his lips set your mind at ease. It was then you remembered something. “Oh, and since in this moment we’re inside I can give your scarf back without it blowing away!” Not wanting to accidentally touch Gundham, knowing he didn’t like contact, you opted to place the garment on the table and slide it to him. “I thank you.”

After that not much was said. You two just enjoyed the quiet. This was just what you needed. Yes, the other patrons were a bit too noisy for either of your liking, but it was nice getting to rest after the hectic time before… It wasn’t that bad in the café either. The floor and walls were soft, light tan, wooden boards, and the furniture were a wooden dark reddish-brown. It was all so mild and warm. The other patrons mostly kept to themselves. The sounds of the creaking of wooden seats, the light thuds of foot falls against the wooden floorboard, the clinking of silverware, and the soft playing of piano music filled the air. The food was good too. The flavors like the café were mild, but comforting. Could use a little something to make it pop, but you were an astronomer, not a food critic, so you didn’t care all too much. It still tasted good.

Soon the music had changed. Still piano, but it was up-beat or at least faster paced. Jazz perhaps? Whatever genre it was, it got your foot tapping to the beat. It was a rather catchy tune too. “Hmm?” Then something got caught under your toes. Wanting to continue your tapping you decided to nudge whatever the object was out of the way. Instead it lightly nudged back? You nudged it with your other foot, which was immediately tapped against by something else. Looking up to the man who sat across from you, you saw he had his eyes closed and arms crossed. Curiously, you lightly kicked forward getting caught on something. A small huff escaped Gundham before you felt the bottom of your foot being lightly pushed back.

Continuing to tap, nudge, kick, and push one another you were desperately trying and failing to hide your ever-growing enormous grin as Gundham looked to be perfectly stoic and composed, not even flinching. You were now determined to get him to crack. You couldn’t be the only one smiling like a little child. As you were pondering on what to do, your foot slipped when pushing back, kicking the leg of the table sending all the silverware clattering for a moment. Without thinking you clamped your hands over your mouth, not wanting to burst out into nervous laughter and drawing more attention your way. At least you got a reaction from Gundham, who genuinely looked surprised. “Geez, Tanaka. You need to be more careful; we were almost caught.” You spoke just under your breath, not wanting others to hear. “Me? What could you possibly mean? You’re the one who kicked the table.” “You’re the one who started this.” “I, Gundham Tanaka, the Overlord of Ice, would never kick off such a childish game.” “’kick off’?” You desperately tried stifling you giggle hearing the Great and Mighty Gundham Tanaka of all people make a pun. In your little fit of laughter, you missed the tinge of pink which dusted his cheeks and his gentle smile which stretched from ear to ear.

Neither of you were willing to give up your little game, you both wanted to get the last hit in and be the winner. As the game continued you got lost in your own world, all composure thrown out the window, both giggling messes. Your fun was soon interrupted though as an employee came telling you, you were starting to disturb the other customers and that you had spent far too much time loitering around, not having ordered anything else in over an hour. Gundham abruptly stood from his seat, slapping some money onto the table. “You mortal believe you can tell me, the Overlord of Ice what to do!? Though bold you are quite foolish. Come my companion! Let us take flight as to not allow these fiends to humiliate themselves further!” He then gently tugged on your coat. “… Sure, but I must add, you’re really freaking cute Tanaka.” “Cute!? P-preposterous!” Then you zipped past him, lightly kicking his foot. “You fiend! You managed to pull off such trickery! Not that it will matter for long though, for I shall be the winner!” He swiftly made chase after you out of the café.

You ran up and down the streets with the bike in hand trying to avoid Gundham’s attacks while hitting back with your own counters. Only the laughter you two shared could be heard in the calm desolate white world. It was gently carried along by the breeze ushering the peace that now existed. You noticed a glint in the Ice Lord’s eyes, as smirk formed on his lips. Suddenly white ice was kicked up distracting you from your advance and you were counter attacked! Loud, cheerful laughter erupted from deep within Gundham, and continued to do so as he spoke. “Oh dear, sweet, Seeker of the Void! You are in my domain now! There is no hope of your winning this match, for I am Gundham Tanaka, the Overlord of Ice!” “Ha! I bet you can’t get the last hit before we get to the park!” “Hah! I’d like to see you even attempt such a feat!”

The closer the two of you neared the park the more heated the battle became. You felt your heart pounding as you ran. You got the last hit, you just needed to keep dodging and you’d win! Though constantly running and laughing was not a good combination, you were so lightheaded you were likely a little delirious. Gundham was in the same position believing he was winning. Whatever the case was, neither of you could care at this point it was too fun. After placing the bike back in the rack, you leaned against it, trying to catch your breath. “Oh boy, I-I’m exhausted.” “Hmph, t-though you spend your life still and gazing, you put up quite a fight!” “Well, I guess that’s what you get for hiking up mountain peaks for the best view!”

As you made sure the bike was properly secure, Gundham’s gaze shifted towards the heavens. “Void Seeker, do you believe the winds shall grant us a clear view of you comet?” “… You remembered that? I just mentioned it off hand, didn’t I? Or did I start rambling again?” “That matters not, you spoke of it, and it’s your passion. I would never forget.” Your eyes sparkled with delight. “Well, the sky is starting to clear up so there might be a chance! Though obviously checking the weather report is the best, but I’ve found that so often it can be wrong that I just use it as more of a guideline. At this point I just go with my instinct and knowledge of the weather since I have to deal with it so much, I’ve learned a thing or two about how it works, and I think… I think we might have a chance!” “So, we are too rest now?” “Yeah! If we wanna stay up all night stargazing we’re gonna have to sleep now! Aw, I hope this works out!” Giddily you skipped into the park, twirling and spinning around as you took out your phone, setting an alarm.

“This looks like a good napping spot!” Kicking your feet up, you fell onto the ground. “Out here and not the dorms? I assumed you’d wish to quickly collect your tools.” “We’ll have enough time to get to the dorms later! Right now, I’m tired from all that running so we’ll just nap here!” Not questioning your reasoning, Gundham simply shrugged his shoulders and fell onto the ground beside you. Curling up into your coat and closing your eyes you swiftly fell asleep, just barely registering the single light nudge against your foot.

With a yawn and a stretch, you awoke to that dreaded, awful, blaring siren. “… not a cloud.” Gundham slowly sat up, grunting as he tried rubbing the sleepiness from his eyes. Standing up you lightly nudged Gundham’s foot. “We need to get going if we wanna get the shopping done and get back to the school by night fall.” “Shopping?” “Yeah! We’re going to get hungry staying up all night.”

There was a spring in your step as you merrily walked along the sidewalk, occasionally playfully kicking at your companion’s feet to which he’d return the favor. The sun had yet to set but it was close to doing so. You watched as each of your breaths froze in the air before dissipating into mist and gently swirling away on the wind. The soft crunching of the ice beneath one’s footfalls was absolutely delightful on the ear.

Quickly you spotted that small neon sign flash on in the distance. Your pace slightly quickened, daydreaming of the delightful treats that awaited you and your companion inside. Arriving at the tiny convenience store you went straight to a specific aisle. “Hey, Tanaka pick out whatever you want, alright? I’ll pay!” Then you zipped around already knowing what you wanted. The elderly man behind the counter smiled and lightly waved as you passed by for a moment. “Ah, Y/N going out on another trip?” “Nope! Staying at school this time. Sorry I won’t be buying as much because of that.” “Oh, don’t worry about that. I’ll be fine. You’re not my only customer you know. Now, who’s this fellow here?” “He’s my date.” “Oh, a date. I see I see. Wait… is this the great Gundham Tanaka I’ve heard so much about?” You froze for a moment feeling a blush cover your entire face. “Y-yeah. And I haven’t talked about him that much!” The man chuckled seeing Gundham’s cheeks flair up. “Ah, youth.”

The place was filled with brands and treats Gundham didn’t recognize. All the packaging was quite colorful too, a stark contrast from the simple, calm store. He meandered around looking for some treat as you chatted away with the man behind the counter about the comet tonight. Soon something caught the Ice Lord’s attention. It was but a plain blue box, a single side was see-though allowing one to spot the dull gold orb inside. “Chocolate Orange” was all that was written on the lid. After taking a few more moments to see if anything else caught his fancy he made his way for the counter, sliding the box to you.

“Huh? Aren’t you going to scan the items?” The man lightly shook his head. “You finally gained the courage to ask the young man out. I’m not going to have you worry over payment.” “What? No! I have to give you something!” “Alright, alright. Take your friend out on an out of town date some time and buy some extra treats for the road. Now get going, I’m sure there’s more exciting things to do on a date than speaking with an old man.” He laughed once more seeing how you and Gundham so easily blushed at his comments.

“Sorry about Mr. Sato. He’s a good acquaintance of mine who I end up rambling to when I go to his store. It’s always my last stop before I go on any trip stargazing, his place has the best snacks that can last for a long time!” The sun was just beginning to set, casting orange, purple, red, and yellow hues across the sky. “So, what did you get? Something new to try or an old favorite?” “Something new. Should the mere thought be tantalizing enough we could try it now.” “Oh, good idea! We can see if it’s good or not now and not have to deal with it later when the comet arrives if it’s not.”

Quickly sifting through the small paper bag, you took out the small box and held it out to Gundham. “Oh! Uh… Should I place it on the ground, or…” Your words trailed off seeing Gundham hesitantly hold up his bandaged hand. Ever so gently he took the box, his fingers brushing against yours. You swore your heart skipped a beat in that moment. Playing footsies was one thing it wasn’t really touching, but this… Neither of you spoke of it, there was no need. Words simply would have muddled the message that simple act conveyed. A simple act that meant everything to you. Getting so absorbed in the moment you almost didn’t notice how the now empty box was held out to you. “o-oh, Oh!” With a shaky hand you took the box back.

You watched as Gundham simply held the orb for a moment. The sun was directly behind him, casting his figure in a bright glow, simultaneously as a long dark shadow trailed from him. Unwrapping the gold foil from the treat, the chocolate inside was revealed. The chocolate was clearly cut into many pieces yet, still held it’s shape. After a moment of struggle Gundham managed to snap an orange segment shaped slice out… Then he held it out to you in his open bandaged palm. You heard your heart pound in your ears. Your mind sputtered to a stop just staring at that hand. All you could do was keep walking. Hesitantly that hand loosely closed and retracted, falling to Gundham’s side. You were suddenly snapped back to your senses when you felt something shaking beside your hand. Still trembling it slid into your open palm. As your fingers curled around the slice your hands parted.

The milk chocolate was mild with an orange zing that spread through the entire thing.

Gundham stood before your dorm room as you came out with your disassembled telescope in it’s case. The pair of you quickly climbed your way up to the rooftop of the dormitory. Once there you set about preparing and reassembling the telescope. You then spread out a blanket and laid atop it, simply waiting for the show to begin. After an hour or so of occasionally nudging the other’s feet with your own it finally happened. A streak cut through the sky quickly dissipating. Then another, and another till those streaks filled the sky. Confused, Gundham turned to you. “Do you know how the phenomena of meteor showers or shooting stars happen? Most often they occur when a comet passes by. The comet leaves a lot of stuff behind in it’s travels, that stuff getting pulled in by a planet’s gravity. As it enters the atmosphere, it burns up, disintegrating before it even gets to make impact, that’s why it’s so bright.”

Your eyes always seemed to be fixed on the sky, it was rarer your gaze shifted to anywhere else. Gundham used to wonder why that was. Was there something up there you longed for that was out of reach here? Did you just like marveling at it’s beauty? Quickly after meeting you, he stopped questioning it. It didn’t matter really. It just meant that if you even did pay attention to anything else, it must have been quite special indeed. So, when you turned to glance at him, to him, the world stopped. Being with such a person, a person who only dedicated their time to things they cared about and nothing else. It made him feel like he meant absolutely everything… that must have been why the simple word ‘date’ could send his heart aflight. It was because YOU said it. You asked him, not the other way around. You really wanted to be with him.

You shivered as that cold wind brushed past. As you hugged yourself you noticed Gundham had scooted closer to you. Undoing his scarf, he rewrapped it around himself but with only one end, the other was gently placed atop your shoulders. A content sigh slipped from his chapped lips seeing you so tenderly wrap the garment around yourself.

Though that night felt to be an eternity the sun still rose. Neither of you dared move as it climbed higher and higher into that brightening sky. Gundham tried stifling it, but you still caught the yawn that managed to escape him. You gently tugged on the scarf, signaling Gundham to stand up. You slowly set to disassembling the telescope, collecting your trash and rolling up the blanket. The whole time you were tied close to one another, not willing to loosen the scarf even a little.

All to soon you found yourselves standing before your room. Gently you untied the scarf. “… Void Seeker. I… I wish to continue this ritual. This ‘date’ was but the first step after all. So… would you have me? To keep close…” He feared his heart was going to burst from his chest as he spoke. He found he couldn’t look you in the eyes. “… Want to stay up all night for New Year’s Eve and day, but that’s a few days from now… Well, it’ll take a day to readjust our sleeping schedule. I’ll be up for being awake in the day, day after tomorrow!” “Y-yes! Certainly! A-and I, Gundham Tanaka, shall plan the date this time! Come and reunite with me at the same place and time from our date yesterday!” His strangely excited yet nervous laughter filled the air as he practically sprinted away.

Dashing into his room he slammed the door shut. He took deep breaths trying to steady his racing heart. Leaning against the wall he slid down, just letting gravity take him. Lightly chuckling, he smiled, it sinking in that he got another date! Wait- were you two going steady now? Were you partners!? Then that familiar pitter patter of feet filled the air. “My Devas, you’ve awakened!... You sensed the Void Searcher’s presence on me, no doubt…” The four hamsters quickly, yet sleepily scurried towards Gundham. “Y-yes……… I- N-NO THEY ARE NOT MY MATE, WE’RE STILL COURTING!... well… not at the moment, I believe? M-maybe…” Of all beings, Gundham never thought his loyal Devas would be teasing him about his crush… or would it be his partner? He burrowed his face into his scarf, desperate to hide… The scarf you also wore… So much for trying to slow his heart! “It seems these affections for Y/N will be the end of me.” Hugging the scarf close, he smiled, day dreaming of what to do on your next date.

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a-secret-bolton-vampire · 3 years

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Hardhome in TWOW

I've seen a lot of takes that we won't see Hardhome in TWOW and that whatever happens there will remain offpage. I was in this camp for a while too; it'd be very creepy to not have a view of what happens there and only learn later on. However, I'm more convinced that we actually will see it in TWOW, and that it's a far more important location than we give it credit for.

In ADWD, Hardhome is first mentioned in Jon VIII, and is mentioned by name 23 times. A woods witch named Mother Mole has witnessed a vision promising ships that will carry the free folk to salvation across the narrow sea from Hardhome, and so they settle there. Of course, prophecies are a pain in the ass, and while it comes true it's... not as advertised. There are ships coming to Hardhome to rescue them, sent by Jon Snow, but they are beat by slavers from the Free Cities who captured the free folk. Of course, a storm makes one ship drift off course and land in Braavos, where they immediately free the free folk who were enslaved. But it remains a very important location for Jon.

Expedition to Hardhome

When Jon mentions this location and Mother Mole, his officers say it is a cursed and unholy place, and Jon recounts the story of what happened there centuries prior.

Hardhome had been halfway toward becoming a town, the only true town north of the Wall, until the night six hundred years ago when hell had swallowed it. Its people had been carried off into slavery or slaughtered for meat, depending on which version of the tale you believed, their homes and halls consumed in a conflagration that burned so hot that watchers on the Wall far to the south had thought the sun was rising in the north. Afterward ashes rained down on haunted forest and Shivering Sea alike for almost half a year. Traders reported finding only nightmarish devastation where Hardhome had stood, a landscape of charred trees and burned bones, waters choked with swollen corpses, blood-chilling shrieks echoing from the cave mouths that pocked the great cliff that loomed above the settlement. Six centuries had come and gone since that night, but Hardhome was still shunned. The wild had reclaimed the site, Jon had been told, but rangers claimed that the overgrown ruins were haunted by ghouls and demons and burning ghosts with an unhealthy taste for blood.

Something happened that caused the free folk to shun it forever, and a lot of theories have sprung on what happened there; perhaps it was slavers raiding, or it was the Faceless Men doing their own mini-Doom as a precursor to the true Doom of Valyria. I have my own idea of what happened there, but first, set dressing (like salad dressing, but for settings).

Jon does not want for the free folk to succumb to a nasty fate at the hands of the Others. He doesn't want them to die and be added to the ever growing army of wights at their call. The free folk deserve to be rescued and given a better life. So Jon sends Cotter Pyke with 11 ships (3 Braavosi, 4 Lyseni, and 4 Night's Watch) to provide relief. However, since the slavers already came, when they arrive, the free folk are untrusting, and believe that the ships are slaver ships. The situation is also incredibly bad there, as Cotter notes in the infamous letter he sends to Jon from Hardhome.

At Hardhome, with six ships. Wild seas. Blackbird lost with all hands, two Lyseni ships driven aground on Skane, Talon taking water. Very bad here. Wildlings eating their own dead. Dead things in the woods. Braavosi captains will only take women, children on their ships. Witch women call us slavers. Attempt to take Storm Crow defeated, six crew dead, many wildlings. Eight ravens left. Dead things in the water. Send help by land, seas wracked by storms. From Talon, by hand of Maester Harmune.

So Jon decides to lead another great ranging to Hardhome to provide overland relief. The Night's Watch is really against it, as is Melisandre (more below), but Jon finds it important enough to try to do anyways. He makes plans with Tormund, before he gets the pink letter. After that, he decides instead to have Tormund lead the Night's Watch to Hardhome while he marches south with the free folk to murder the fuck out of Ramsay. And then he's stabbenated.

After that, it's unsure exactly if this expedition will still occur. However, I think that because Hardhome is mentioned so often, and because of an SSM, that we will at the least see Hardhome, and that the expedition will still occur, albeit maybe not exactly as planned.

The Doom of Hardhome

Melisandre says Hardhome is doomed and that nobody will return from it. She also has visions that fit well with Hardhome.

Snowflakes swirled from a dark sky and ashes rose to meet them, the grey and the white whirling around each other as flaming arrows arced above a wooden wall and dead things shambled silent through the cold, beneath a great grey cliff where fires burned inside a hundred caves. Then the wind rose and the white mist came sweeping in, impossibly cold, and one by one the fires went out. Afterward only the skulls remained. Death, thought Melisandre. The skulls are death.

The most interesting part of this quote is the flaming arrows arcing above a wooden wall. The rest is pretty obviously Hardhome, but this implies something more happening. Not necessarily a battle, but a glimpse at the confrontation to come? Thus far the wights are just nibbling at the edges, but according to the visions, it won't be long until the Others sweep in and put an end to everything there.

But there is one thing that to me confirms that Hardhome will appear onpage and it won't be something mentioned after the fact. In this post by nobodysuspectsthebutterfly, an SSM is brought up about GRRM visiting Rotorua park in New Zealand as inspiration for a future location in the books that hasn't appeared yet but eventually will. OP had previously noted similarities between Hardhome and Rotorua, specifically with the shrieking caves that both possess. They also mention that the aftermath of the initial destruction at Hardhome sounds a lot like a geothermic eruption (which I agree with), and Rotorua has thermal pools and geysers and bubbling mud and the like.

All this put together, I think that Rotorua is the inspiration for Hardhome, and that since it is the basis of a location that will eventually appear, Hardhome will appear onpage. To me, this makes a lot more sense than Hardhome being something that is merely mentioned offscreen. For one, while we have seen the wights in action before, we haven't exactly seen the Others come out in full force and seen what they are truly capable of. The closest was the Fist of the First Men, but that is mostly relayed in a flashback after the fact, and as far as we know, the Others themselves didn't make an appearance, just the wights.

In this way, Hardhome is an important place to see. In Mel's vision, she mentions the winds rising and an impossibly cold white mist sweeping in to kill all the fires in the cave. White mist and extreme (supernatural) cold are specific elements that appear when the Others approach, which implies to me the Others themselves are going to arrive at Hardhome. Essentially, Hardhome is a precursor to the truly horrible apocalyptic stuff that will happen once they breach the Wall. This will be the first time we see the Others truly in action and not just the wights, to give us a mere taste of just how bad things will get when the Long Night finally falls. Also it fits thematically. Hardhome was once destroyed by fire (volcanic events), and now it will be destroyed again by ice (the Others).

The big question of course is who will be there to witness it? While Jon Snow led the expedition in the show, I don't see this as very likely. His last thought was rushing south to deal with Ramsay, and I don't think he's going to suddenly change his mind to stay at the Wall after that. If anything, that's just going to harden him against Ramsay. So Jon as the POV there seems unlikely. That leaves only three more people, in my mind; Bran, Melisandre, or Davos.

Bran is a strong possibility, but if we are to really get a good look at the Others doing their thing, I think it's better and more powerful if we get an actual first person perspective. Bran could show us via skinchanging, but that lacks the personal intimacy of a very apocalyptic event. Melisandre meanwhile would have no interest in going to Hardhome. She believes it's doomed and there is nothing to be done about that.

That leaves Davos. While he is not connected to Hardhome in any way right now, Skagos is rather close to Hardhome. It's possible he gets Rickon and leaves for White Harbor, but since the seas are said to be very stormy right now, they wind up in Hardhome, or at Eastwatch, where you would want to leave for Hardhome instead of Castle Black. Davos is sort of the anti-Melisandre; the two are opposites in a lot of ways, and their influence on Stannis keeps him from steering too far into Melisandre's direction. She has no qualms with burning a child if it means a stone dragon will wake. Davos is vehemently opposed to such an act under any circumstances.

So if Davos learns that Stannis is dead (allegedly) and hears that Melisandre says Hardhome is hopeless and should be left alone, what would he do? I think he would want to help the free folk there, even under the bad circumstances. It may be a hopeless mission, but to Davos, I think trying to do something about it is better than not doing anything at all. I'm not entirely sure what is left for Davos if Stannis is dead. Perhaps he might not go to Hardhome at all, but it's just a possibility in my mind.

Another reason Davos at Hardhome might work well is that if this is a precursor to the Long Night in Westeros, someone like Davos as our POV there would be fitting. Most people in Westeros will be extremely unfamiliar with the Others, or not even think they are real. Davos has no real connection with the Others, never saw them. It would be completely unreal for someone like him, a former smuggler from King's Landing, to see something so powerful, supernatural, and inhuman at the Others. But if he does go to Hardhome... I worry he might not get back.

The problem is that it might not entirely be fitting of an end for him. Davos is one of those characters where I have literally no idea what or where his story is leading to, and that I think the show didn't spoil much about. Bran is another strong contender, but I feel like someone should be there physically to really drive home the horror of everything happening.

The point being, Hardhome is important to show. I get the argument that it's scarier not seeing everything, and that can work. But we know almost nothing about the Others, and despite being the main antagonist force of the series, we've seen them literally only twice in all five books. If we are to build them up as this big threat, and give us a glimpse as to how serious of a threat they are, then Hardhome should be shown onpage. Show, don't tell. That's storytelling 101.

Regardless, we will be seeing the Others a lot more in TWOW I'm sure. Winter is here, and the Long Night is not far from taking centre stage.

#asoiaf meta #hardhome #the others #the winds of winter predictions

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artificialqueens · 4 years

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Galactica, Chapter 23 (Group Fic) - TheDane/Veronica

A/N: We know our posting schedule has gotten slower, but we hope you’re still enjoying the story. XOXO! Click here if you’re looking for previous chapters (or here if you’d rather read on AO3). 💫

Last Chapter: The Galactica afterparty brought people together in many different ways.

This Chapter: NYFW comes to an end, and the team leaves for London, some more enthusiastically than others.

***

Ivy strolled through the courtyard at Bryant Park, on her way to deliver a charged battery pack to Raja before the Ralph Lauren show began, since Raja was as incapable of keeping her own alive as she was caring for the plants she continually adopted, all of that falling on Ivy - who fortunately didn’t mind, enjoying the relaxing tasks of caring for them as a break from the craziness of corporate life.

Most assistants as experienced as Ivy would be annoyed at doing this kind of menial delivery task, some probably even seeing it as demeaning, but Ivy was happy for the excuse to get out of the office and observe the colorful chaos of New York Fashion Week in person. Especially today, on the last day, when people from every walk of life seemed to converge in Bryant Park in a strange and glorious blend of humanity.

If Ivy was being honest with herself, she was quite the people watcher. She loved sitting back and collecting knowledge about others, not because she wanted to do anything with the information, but just to satisfy her own relentless curiosity, which was as much a part of her as the gap in her teeth.

She’d seen so much over the course of this week, so many things that she knew people probably had no idea she knew. She had watched her own boss quietly panic a few hours before the Galactica show, a look in her eyes that everyone else missed--people always assumed that Raja was 100% confident all the time, but Ivy knew better. She’d seen the way Pearl showed up every day looking more and more hungover, the young executive clearly going through something that she was desperately trying to party away. She’d noticed Violet at the party last night, slipping away with Sutan, one of her first glimpses ever into Violet’s personal life.

After dropping off the battery pack, Ivy took her time returning to the line of waiting taxis, taking in the eclectic group of people swarming around and she stopped to buy herself an iced coffee. She was leaning against the wall when she noticed someone staring at her. Ivy definitely recognized the other woman, a redhead with even brighter hair than her own, but she couldn’t place her, which made her feel slightly uncomfortable as the other didn’t look away, their eyes meeting across the courtyard. A fellow observer, she supposed.

Ivy smiled a little, deciding to take a chance on fate, and raised her hand to wave, and the other woman returning it with the brightest smile Ivy had ever seen.

***

“Remember to check with the hotel if they have washed the sheets correctly. You know I can’t tolerate perfume.”

“Yes Miss.” Violet nodded as she jotted down the last of what Fame had asked her. They were leaving the last show of the week, the sun going down as Fame walked towards her car.

“And what about Monday?”

“Your travel itinerary is printed, packed and ready to go. I even emailed it to Mr. Bertschy.”

“Good.” Fame looked at Violet, her sunglasses perched in her blonde hair, and for a moment, just a moment, it almost seemed like Fame was smiling.

“That’s all.”

***

Courtney swayed a bit to the music in the crowded club. It was Saturday: New York Fashion Week was officially over, and on Monday, her boss was flying to Europe for three weeks. Three amazing weeks where she wouldn’t have to run around like a maniac fetching coffee or jumping up in fear every time she heard footsteps or trying to read her mind while on the receiving end of a withering glare.

“Uh oh…”

“What?” Courtney asked, seeing Willam’s furrowed brow.

“Four o’clock. Someone better call the wedgie police, because...yikes.”

Courtney giggled, turning her gaze in the direction Willam gestured and then immediately covering her face.

“Oh god, that looks painful!”

“I bet she’s bleeding.”

Courtney laughed harder. She’d been having a surprisingly good time with Willam; in spite of her apprehension about him, it wasn’t awkward at all. She felt comfortable, almost like she was with one of her girlfriends. He was funny and charming and when she said she was thinking about going vegan, didn’t make an annoyed face. He simply took out his phone and searched for the best vegan restaurants in the neighborhood.

He’d treated her to a pretty good dinner, where he’d again listened kindly while she vented about work, and then they’d made the short walk to the club, where Sólseturstríðsmenn was about to perform.

The best thing about Willam so far, though, was that he was such a perfect gentleman. He wasn’t trying to get her drunk, or getting handsy like most guys. He was treating her like a person, which Courtney supposed shouldn’t have been such a brand new experience on a date, but here she was.

“So, I know you said that you’re a lightweight, but I’m gonna grab another drink. You want one?”

“Um...yeah, okay,” Courtney said with a smile. “Why not?”

As he headed towards the bar, Courtney watched him closely, trying to gauge her attraction. As different as he was from the boys she’d dated in the past, there was something oddly compelling about him. She found her eyes drifting down to his ass--which wasn’t flat like most guys, but rounded, almost peachy, and Courtney wondered what it would feel like to just grab ahold of it. She looked away quickly, her cheeks growing hot.

She wondered if he would try to kiss her tonight. She didn’t love the idea of a beard against her face, but he did have full, soft lips, and maybe it would be nice. Maybe she did like Willam. Wouldn’t it be crazy to date a boy who didn’t make her sigh with irritation when his name came up on the caller ID?

When he returned with the drinks, she accepted hers gratefully and beamed up at him.

“What?” he asked, those pretty blue eyes looking at her with amused curiosity.

“I was just thinking about what a good time I’m having,” said Courtney.

“Why do you sound so surprised?” he laughed. “I’m a very fucking good time.”

Courtney gave a cute shrug, then giggled, taking his arm and leaning a head on his shoulder. Maybe she should have tried dating a guy who wasn’t an absolute dickhead much sooner.

***

“You’re such a brat,” Pearl laughed, sipping a beer as she watched Trixie stuff clothes into his suitcase, pouting the whole time.

He had really hoped to avoid Europe this year, or at least be able to cut his trip short. But instead, Fame had decided that it was important for the whole senior creative team to be there the entire time, to absorb the inspiration. As if he couldn't get all the inspiration he needed right here in New York.

Trixie looked up at Pearl with a scowl.

“Don’t you have your own packing to do?” he asked.

“It takes me exactly 4 minutes to pack,” Pearl told him, a smirk on her face. “When you’re this perfect, everything looks good together.”

“All black everything helps too.”

“I have whites.”

“Whatever.” Trixie rolled his eyes.

“I don’t know why you’re pouting, man. It’s three weeks in Europe, paid for by the company. Partying on someone else’s dime.” Pearl flipped her long blonde hair over her shoulder. “It’s the dream.”

“I don’t like partying.”

“You used to like partying,” Pearl said, adding, “You used to be cool.”

“Well, I guess I’m just not cool anymore!” Trixie snapped, just as Katya appeared in the doorway.

“Of course you’re cool, baby,” she cooed. “The coolest cat in the joint.”

Pearl burst out laughing, and Trixie crossed his arms.

“Are you mocking me now, too?”

“Nooo, never!” Katya dropped down to her knees beside him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. “And just to show you how great I think you are, I’m making a special lunch just for you.”

“Oh yeah?” Trixie asked, suddenly interested.

“Uh huh…” Katya rubbed his back. “Now, I’ve never tasted this regional delicacy myself, but I have it on good authority that it’s one of your very favorites. It’s called ‘Tater Tot Hotdish.’”

“What? Tater Tot Hotdish? Seriously?” Trixie clapped his hands excitedly.

“Yes, baby, and I made enough for you to take a big old portion with you on the place tomorrow.”

“God, you’re the absolute best,” Trixie said, taking Katya’s face in his hands and laying a kiss on her. “I’m gonna miss you so much.”

“Aww, I’ll miss you too, along with the goods.” Katya squeezed his ass, giggling.

Trixie pulled back to study her face. She seemed normal, but he’d noticed her getting up early lately, meeting one of her friends from rehab in the mornings before work. They’d been together long enough for him to know that these things came in cycles, and getting some extra support was nothing to panic over, but with both him and Pearl leaving town at the same time, he couldn’t help but worry.

“Are you gonna be okay while we’re gone? Really?”

“Of course I am, sugarbutt.” Katya gave him one of her signature 1000-watt smiles. “Now, excuse me, I need to go check on your tots.”

He watched her go, still not entirely convinced. Maybe it would be a good idea for someone to check on her while he was away. Someone responsible and trustworthy...

***

Violet saw her work phone vibrate out of the corner of her eye, her screen lighting up. She tried to read it, tried to make out who had contacted her, when she was pulled out of her thoughts.

“Am I not entertaining enough?”

Violet turned to look, Sutan’s warm voice loud and clear, a smirk on his lips. They were eating breakfast at a cafe near his apartment, a plate of half eaten avocado on rye in front of her, while Sutan had opted for waffles and scrambled eggs.

“Of course.”

It had been Violet’s idea to meet up for breakfast before Sutan had to leave. She had meant to come over, had meant to spend more time with him, but the week had flown by, and suddenly it had passed without the two of them actually seeing each other.

“I just need-” Violet bit her lip and titled her phone, surprise hitting her when she saw that Trixie was the one who had texted. “Oh. I have to-”

“Lovely eyes-” Violet looked at him again, Sutan’s elbow leaning on the table, his fingers around a steaming hot cup of coffee. “What could possibly be more important than me?”

“Work.”

“Ow.” Sutan laughed, holding a hand to his heart, and Violet felt a surge of embarrassment crash over her.

“Sorry,” Violet hadn’t meant to be so blunt, hadn’t meant to dismiss him so harshly, “I didn’t-”

Her phone vibrated again, and Violet saw that she had gotten a second message from Trixie.

“I have to-”

“Ignore me if you must,” Sutan was clearly entertained by it, his tone teasing, “but know that I’m not usually treated like this Miss Chachki.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

Violet opened the texts, quickly scanning them.

TRIXIE: Hi Violet. I was wondering if you could do me a favor? While I’m in Europe, do you mind checking in on Katya?

TRIXIE: Just once or twice if you have time.

Violet bit her lip. She considered Katya someone she liked, maybe even a friend if the blonde agreed, but she wasn’t sure and that she was close enough to check in on her, whatever that meant.

TRIXIE: You could bring her dinner? She likes chinese.

“So,” Sutan titled his head, his foot on tapping against her shin. “Is it important?”

Sutan’s voice was still warm, his tone still light, but Violet didn’t want to push him any further, didn’t want to risk him getting annoyed or tired. Violet flipped her phone, turning the screen to the table. “It’s not an emergency.”

“Good,” Sutan chuckled, and Violet felt her stomach do a flip, the man stupidly attractive when he was laughing, his dark eyes ones she swore she could drown in. “I was worried for a minute that Fame had remembered she was flying tomorrow.”

“Ah,” Violet hid a smile behind her teacup.

“I’m just happy that I’m on an entirely different flight.”

She had never seen Fame on a plane, but she had heard first hand experiences from senior staff who had been with her, and had even helped her prepare more than once.

“Speaking about phones though-” Sutan smirked.

“We weren’t-“

“I looked for you on Instagram.”

Violet raised an eyebrow, her food still forgotten on her plate. “Why?”

“Because I enjoy your company?” Sutan chuckled, and Violet realized that she was being unnecessarily harsh once again, but she didn’t like that Sutan had gone looking for information about her, her chest tightening. “I couldn’t find you, do you have a nickname or somethi-”

“I don’t have an account.”

“Violet,” Sutan leaned back in his chair, “Just because I wasn’t upset about the assistant thing doesn’t mean I’m okay with you lying.”

“I’m not lying.”

“Please.” Sutan rolled his eyes, actually sounding annoyed now. “Why wouldn’t you-“

“I don’t use social media.” Violet ran her fingers through her hair, looking directly at Sutan. “I don’t have time.”

She wasn’t lying. When everyone else had jumped on the social media train, Violet had been busy, so she had never gotten on Myspace or Twitter or Instagram or whatever else people had profiles on. When Violet applied to Parsons, she had even deactivated the Facebook her mom had made her make when she moved to New York, the decision almost making itself.

Her lack of social media was one of the reasons she became friends with Pearl, the blonde absolutely fascinated by the fact that the only way she could reach Violet was by email or text.

She wasn’t unaware of the online world, Pearl keeping her in the loop of trends, and she sometimes used the office computer to look at pugs on Youtube, but all in all, Violet simply wasn’t interested in creating her own content.

“Do you promise?”

Violet was happy with being anonymous, was very happy that she didn’t exist online, and she intended to keep it that way for as long as she possibly could.

“I promise,” Violet nodded, leaning over the table to give Sutan a quick, closed mouthed kiss.

***

“Darling,” Fame tightened her grip, the fabric of Patrick’s jacket between her fingers. The hustle and bustle of the airport was all around them, and Fame wished she could disappear. “Look at me.”

Fame huffed, turning her head and nuzzling further into Patrick’s neck.

“I know you’re upset-” Patrick ran a hand up her back.

To say that she was upset was an understatement. In fact, she was livid, anxiety and anger like a storm inside of her. She knew it wasn’t fair, knew she was being a child, but she didn’t want to fly without Patrick, didn’t want to risk her life without her husband at her side.

She had asked him to come along, had been ready to beg, but Patrick had work, had his own company to run, and it wasn’t fair of Fame to expect him to get on a transAtlantic flight with her, just so she didn’t have to do it alone.

“You’ll be fine.”

Fame sighed, the scent of Patrick filling her nose. They were waiting for Raja and Raven, Raja ready to take her hand and not let go until they touched down in London.

Fame knew that Raven hated it, but she could live with the stink eyes and Raven’s pouting if it meant that she had one of the few people she trusted by her side the entire time she was off the ground.

***

Courtney typed at lightning speed, adding the last three messages into Miss Fame’s phonesheet, then clicked back over to continue checking her emails.

Since most of the senior executives were on a plane to London, she had been expecting a chill morning, but it was the exact opposite: the phone was ringing off the hook: press requests for interviews and to borrow pieces of the collection, invitations, buyers, influencers. Not to mention the flurry of activity within the company to get the ready to wear versions of the Spring line into stores. Courtney could barely read one email before three more came in, she and Violet in constant communication as they made sure nothing slipped through the cracks.

The one saving grace was that apparently, it was tradition for things around the office to get much more casual while Fame and the others were away, and so she was wearing jeans, sneakers, and a cute Lululemon top.

The clothes were such a huge bonus that Courtney didn’t even mind that Violet had sent her to marketing three times: running up and down the stairs in sneakers was a hell of a lot nicer than doing it in heels.

Courtney was almost finished catching up on her emails when Violet stood up.

“I’m getting a cup of tea, do you want anything?”

Courtney looked up with a smile, thrilled that she and Violet were getting along so well today. Although the frenzied activity was a bit overwhelming for her, Violet seemed to thrive in it, and thus her patience had increased about two thousand percent.

“Um, I’ll take coconut water, if we have any. Thanks,” Courtney said, and Violet nodded, ducking into the kitchen.

The phone rang once again, and Courtney answered it, picking up her notepad and a pen. “Miss Fame’s office…”

“Hi, Bianca Del Rio for Fame.”

“I’m sorry, she’s unavailable right now, may I take a message?” Courtney asked sweetly. She couldn’t help wondering if Bianca might possibly recognize her voice, and found her cheeks coloring slightly at the thought.

“Oh shit. She’s on the plane to London now, huh?”

“Umm…” Courtney knew that she wasn’t supposed to reveal exactly where Fame was, but it was one of her closest friends, so maybe it would be okay. She settled on a slightly evasive, “...Possibly.”

Bianca laughed. “Very good work, Courtney. Protecting your boss’s privacy. I love it.”

“I do my best,” Courtney said, trying to suppress the grin she couldn’t seem to help whenever Bianca paid her a compliment. She wasn’t sure why, though, since Bianca obviously couldn’t see her, but even so… “Did you want to leave a message?”

“Nah...I’ll just text her,” Bianca said. “Bye, Courtney. Have a good day.”

“Bye, Bianca. You too.” Courtney hung up, just as Violet’s head appeared in the doorway, irritation all over her face.

“That better not have been Bianca Del Rio,” Violet said, a hand on her hip.

“Umm…”

“Courtney! We’ve been over this. You need to show people more respect. She’s the editor-in-chief of Marie-Claire, for god’s sake!”

“I know, but I…” Courtney trailed off, biting her lip. She wasn’t sure how to explain to Violet how wrong it would’ve felt to address Bianca as ‘Ms. Del Rio’ like she was supposed to. It was so stiff and formal, and their relationship felt much more casual than that. Courtney blushed, realizing that even the word ‘relationship’ was an overstatement. She was probably just being stupid, should probably just listen to Violet and shut up. “I’m sorry, I’ll remember next time.”

“You better,” Violet said. “Because if Miss Fame had heard that, she would’ve been livid.”

Courtney nodded, and Violet seemed satisfied with that, handing over the bottle of coconut water.

***

In the nearly four years that Ivy had worked for Raja, she’d lost count of the number of times people expressed amazement that the infamous “Dragon Lady” had managed to hold onto an assistant for so long.

In spite of Raja’s deserved reputation for being tough, Ivy felt immensely lucky to be working for her. For one thing, she was smart and insanely talented. And while she was by no means soft or low maintenance, Ivy always found her to be fair--even generous, when the situation warranted it. And the fact that she respected Ivy so much, often asking her for her opinions and consulting with her about important decisions, meant a lot--as did the trust she put in her to handle many things on her own. They had a system, and it worked for both of them.

But all that said, Ivy still enjoyed the few times a year when her boss was out of town. For one thing, it was nice to be more in control of her own schedule, and for another, it gave her the opportunity to work on one of her absolute favorite tasks: organizing the deep storage in one of their downstairs warehouses.

The styling closet next to Raja’s office was relatively easy to keep up with. Sure, it got a little messy at times, but if she stayed late or came in early every few weeks, she could manage. But the warehouse was another animal entirely. It often became the dumping ground for everything from design, referred to with nicknames like the Bermuda Triangle and the Couture Graveyard.

It was Ivy’s job to keep everything neat and labeled, and with how rare it was for her to get large amounts of time to handle it, this was no small feat. Right now, her task was to meticulously label and store every piece from the runway show, and to update her system to track the loans. She always felt a little bad about the cast-offs. In the past, they saved every garment, even the ones that were not approved, usually all smushed together in one extra-large garment bag--but this collection had about 10 times the amount of these little orphaned pieces as usual.

The three weeks of European Fashion Week were truly the greatest; all of senior management was gone, which meant that the support staff could wear whatever they wanted to the office. Ivy was personally dressed in something she would never get caught dead in with Raja in the office, but sneakers and jeans were perfect for dancing along to Taylor Swift and moving heavy boxes as she got down to the nitty gritty of cleaning the warehouse.

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illfoandillfie · 4 years

Note

Can I have a month ahead reading? 🥺 Ty in advance 🤗

here you go darling!

Week 1: Temperance + Snow Leopard (The Watcher)

Temperance is the human ability to control ones animal nature. It’s about moderation and self control, virtues which are useful when using a spinning wheel as the woman on the card is doing - both halting and hurrying result in lumpy and uneven spinning. It’s a continuous balancing act. The Snow Leopard’s magic is all about watching quietly and closely, observing before making decisions.

This week is going to require patience. It might be that you’re asked to make a decision or are considering taking a particular step but these cards suggest it would be best to take a little extra time to consider your options and think through your plans before you move forward with them.

Week 2: The Fool + Inspiration

This is the week to move forward with a plan or idea. The Fool is setting off on an adventure. She’s full of excitement and hope and energy, her fate as yet undecided. Some would call her innocent, some would say naïve but, however you see it, she is not weighed down but details such as the door of her birdcage being open. All she’s worried about is the next step on the path and the adventure that awaits.

You also got the fairy card Inspiration which says Be prepared, as you’ll soon receive a visit from the Fairy of Inspiration. Come dusk or dawn, she can call at any time. This card heralds new ideas or the growth of seeds already planted.

Week 3: 5 of Cups + Peace

I have to say, that dragon card particularly wanted to be seen. As I was shuffling the deck I dropped a handful of cards and Peace fell to the floor. I picked them up, I shuffled some more and then I drew the top card. Low and behold it was Peace again. And with this tarot card I can see why.

The 5 of cups relates to regret and bitterness. If you’re single (and wish you weren’t) this may refer to post-Valentines loneliness getting you down at the beginning of the week, or it could be a loss of something - maybe the plan you had isn’t working how you expected it to or something you used as encouragement to keep you going is no longer available as a reward. Whatever it is that’s getting you down this week, the dragon of peace is encouraging you to be kind to yourself. Give yourself a break and don’t put too much pressure on yourself.

Week 4: 6 of Cups + Peacock

The 6 of cups is similar to the 5 of cups in that both deal with reflections but while the 5 of cups is related to reflecting on missed opportunities or lost chances, this card is closer tied to nostalgia - memories that feel warm and inviting, reminisces of happy times and loving people. There’s an element of healing here, as depicted by the bread and water - life sustaining offerings of aid during a dark time. The Peacock oracle card is tied to splendour/the divine/craving.

This week brings with it strong desires and a need for something more.

I also pulled a few different oracle cards to give us an overall vibe for the month.

So, from the Elemental Oracle you got: Storms (Cleansing)

Whatever regrets you might be thinking about, this month be a good time to let go of them. Storms create a lot of energy through movement and kinetic powers and sometimes a raising of energy is what it takes to blow away that which no longer serves us. Issues you’ve been having may come to a head this month.

From the Sacred Self-Care Oracle we have: Use Your Hands

Whether it’s making your own candles, building a bird house, baking a loaf of bread, or fixing something around your house, it can be empowering to create something with your own hands. This month if you’re looking for something to distract or just to fill in some time, consider what you could physically do either by learning a new skill or practicing an old one. Even just tightening the screw on a loose door hinge can give you an incredible sense of accomplishment which will boost your confidence as you attempt bigger things and tackle more complex issues in your life.

Your Numerology card is: 11 - Individuality

This is a great month to celebrate your uniqueness! Instead of feeling as if you’re a square peg in a round hole, this card is encouraging you to dig your own square hole and and embrace what sets you apart from others. Keep an eye out for the number 11 as well as it may be significant for you this month.

And finally we have 2 words from the Destiny Cards: Acceptance and Adventure.

I think both of these cards are quite fitting considering the tarot cards we drew. Adventure ties in nicely with The Fool and acceptance could relate to accepting what you do and do not have in regards to the 5 of cups in order to move on from it.

#card readings

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adozentothedawn · 4 years

Text

First Playthrough Log Pathfinder: Kingmaker Part 31

Oh joy, it seems the mirror quest is bugged, because it doesn’t tigger. The only mention of this I found was in a post from may 2019.

Aaaand now the game got stuck.

Ah there you go! Now it works.

Is that one ghost guard the elf king? A little disapointing but okay.

This feels weirdly anticlimactic. I haven’t taken a single of damage in the fight against Nyrissa because all she did was just heal herself. What to do with her now...

I mean I’m really tempted. More gameplay? And it would fit Tamary’s character... I’m just annoyed at myself that I didn’t save after defeating her.

j/ Mister, you are a giant floating ball of fire. With spikes. Calling you a lantern is like calling a burning house an oven. Like yeah I guess you can use it for that, but it seems kind of overkill.

I just realized I never saw Lander again, so maybe he’ll show up here. Edit: Yeah, there he is!

j/ Those are way too many Irovetti’s. At least they’re fittingly weak.

I just got my decleration of love from Kanerah and Kalikke and I must say I’m impressed. It’s great. I love it. It was so sweet and all I want is to hug them. I promise they’ll get a better wedding than just that though.

j/ The last battle and Nyrissa just killed a dominated Jubilost. Thanks Nyrissa, remind me to never recruit you again.

What to do now... Not gonna lie, essentially becoming a fey does sound kind of dope. But also... immortality? Meh. At least if my wives don’t get same I’m very hesitant. Not gonna deal with Nyrissa though. I really don’t know why, but have less pity for her than for the Lantern King. Maybe it’s the voice actors, Nyrissa’s voice actress is just too good at sounding like a bitch.

I can’t find the actual ending slides unfortunately, but I did find something that said he was the chaotic ending and Nyrissa the good one, and like, why? What about Nyrissa is good? Like I get that she was fucked over and all, and we can totally have a discussion on her moral ambiguity, but how would allying with her lead to a good ending? Because in all honesty, but her and the Lantern King are kind of wonky with morals. They’re both selfish dicks, but they’re endgoal isn’t to hurt people. They’re very fine with it, but it’s not the point of what they’re doing. Anyway, I think I’ll both to fuck off. They can have their game somewhere else, Tamary is fine with the absolute batshit insane story she gets out of this. Becoming a fey would be dope, but also he admitted to being lonely and seem kind of insane. So yeah no thanks.

Aw, no he’s sad. If I’d been able to I would have told both they’re welcome to visit as long as they behave themselves. I can play tricks with him alright, I just don’t want immortality.

Okay, and now I’ll put a break, because after this will be my reactions to the ending slides, which make this thing even longer than usual and I don’t want to annoy people too badly. At least not with long posts.

You know, I pity what happened to Nyrissa in the beginning. It was a bad idea, but the Lantern King is also a dick with no sense of scale. She didn’t deserve that. But I don’t really pity her for her following fate, because that’s entirely her choice. He pulled back and gave up. She could do whatever she wanted to, for example apologize to her sister who were definitely the victims here, instead she chooses pointless revenge.

The republic thing is weird but okay.

Oh fuck you, I didn’t spend frivoulously. I was rich beyond reason in the end.

My treasury is full of artifacts, but I’m out of money. Okay.

I can live with Brevoy sulking at me.

Oh come on, no need to be so mean to Lander. It’s not like he was ever a real threat, and he actually did his job fine. I just hope he doesn’t get himself killed again.

Good for Amiri. Did her job well, and when she noticed it wasn’t for her, left them better than they were before.

Not sure I’m too happy with Pitax, but it’s not bad enough to really annoy me. Let Moskoni have some money if he does his job well. (Even though apparently I don’t have any.)

I’m fine with the academy thing. As long as the leaflets are more creative than the last ones they’re at least entertaining.

Good for Varn! He’s a good man and deserves good things!

I’m glad Kesten stays. Tamary’ll see if she can find his sweetheart and she’s interested will make sure she can live here with her mother. For Tamary, fucking over noble marriage rules is a matter of principle. (As will be shown in the thing I’m currently working on.) Edit: Nevermind, she showed up on her own. Well good for them.

I’m glad the Sweet Teeth are having fun.

I’m a bit dissapointed at this non explanation for the Storyteller. Especially after that last bit it really feels like there’s something missing. Oh well, I hope he has fun wherever he goes. Maybe he’ll come visit later.

Yeah, like I said I have some issues with Valerie, but that would take too long to do here. Maybe later. But it’s not really the ending and more the general concept that I have an issue with, for what it’s worth the ending is fine I guess.

I like Harrim’s ending better than I expected. Nice.

I absolutely adore that Jaethal is now hanging out with Salim. I desperately need a buddy cup story about these two. I would die laughing.

Octavia is fine. I’m not really sure what else to say. Not very surprising, not very interesting, but fine. Good for her.

I like that Regongar’s plan for the future is basically just woo Octavia. That’s a romcom I’m down for!

Tristian stays, which is nice of him. Thank you.

I’ll gladly be godmother of Ekun’s baby, but I won’t lie, I’m not terribly into him marrying Elina. She was a kind of a creep. I’ll just have to hope Tamary managed to talk some sense into her, much like the Watcher does with Xoti.

I love Jubilost. He’s great. Not super into the game trying to ship him with Nyrd, it just seems kind of pointless, but I’m super into the rest. You are always welcome here Jubilost!

I’m so glad that Nok-Nok is happy. Even if his ending slide is still worded a bit... well mean, at least he seems to have found his place.

The whole Tartuccio Tartuk story is still kind of weird but I’m strangely into it. You go kobold man! (Also was it the Lantern King who reserructed him? If I ever found out who did it I forgot, but who else would it have been?)

!!!!! That’s so fucking cute!! Why aren’t there more tiefling shippers? I don’t get it. I love them so much. I hope Idream of the wedding tonight. This is absolutely adorable. Also, it’s tradition now to put little horns on the wedding hats? Oh hell yes! I love this so much... It’s so fucking cute I’m dying. I don’t think anything can top this. Excuse me while I go cry over my tiefling wives.

Bitches, I just got married! You can keep your marriage proposals, my wives are the best!

I still don’t know why they thought they had to do this to poor Linzi, but okay I guess.

Well, I guess now my last question is how I’ll start Varnhold’s Lot.^^ Not today anymore though, it’s already midnight. I want to though. Hmmm...

#pathfinder kingmaker #my log #spoilers #the end #not quite the dlc is left but almost

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tokiro07 · 4 years

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Watcher Class Ideas

I have no idea when we’re ever going to get more info on Watcher or if it even qualifies as a class, but I think I’ve finally got a good sense of what it could be if it does

As the name implies, it seems like it could be the Heroic Spirit of Observation, or one who, to whatever end, sits, watches, and waits. The Watcher in Strange Fake is explicitly summoned for the purpose of overseeing Sigma’s trial to become a Heroic Spirit, specifically Lancer, rather than necessarily being known for a similar task in life, but logically anyone who did such acts should qualify. It does seem that this Watcher did oversee trials in life, though, as they ostensibly qualify for Gatekeeper (one who prevents passage in some way) and killed individuals from across history, implying that they administered trials to all of those individuals to determine their right to accomplish their goals and killed those who failed the trial. Therefore, anyone who is known for the administration of a trial or for evaluating one’s worth and doling out a reward or punishment should qualify as Watcher. This was often done in mythology by gods or kings, but a judge may also qualify. I considered using Khutulun, who I’ve used in the past as a Boxer class Servant, since she would challenge suitors to combat, but she may be too active in her story to necessarily fit Watcher as we know it.

If we take the canon Watcher’s qualification for Gatekeeper as an indicator, there may be overlap between the two classes, with the act of watching over and guarding something in particular qualifying one for both classes. I think the act of guarding is what specifically qualifies one for Gatekeeper, while the act of observing something’s development qualifies them for Watcher. I once listed Argus Panoptes as a Gatekeeper for his keeping of Io, but since he was effectively a jailer, he wouldn’t necessarily qualify as Watcher, at least not in that regard. Conversely, Polyphemus the Cyclops, as a shepherd, may qualify as he raises his herd, but wouldn’t necessarily count as Gatekeeper, though he did explicitly keep Odysseus and his crew from leaving his cave, so perhaps. Still, I hesitate to count Polyphemus since it’s so unclear whether he fits the known definition.

A clearer expansion would be for teachers or masters who raised and molded great individuals and heroes, as the current Watcher is literally doing just that. This may open the class to known heroes such as Chiron, Merlin, or Scathach.

If we consider Watcher in a more literal sense, it could include anyone whose abilities are explicitly vision related, so oracles may qualify and Argus may be back up for consideration. It could even potentially expand all the way out to Medusa with her petrifying gaze, but that seems like a stretch.

We could also potentially expand our definition to include hunters who watch their prey, lookouts such as on ships or lighthouses, scientists who study and make observations, police, chroniclers, spies, even stalkers, so long as their actions heavily involve keeping watch over a person, place, or thing.

For my purposes, though, I’m only going to be looking at those who oversee trials or development, as that is the only confirmed aspect of the class if it’s even actually considered one. Appropriately, none of the Watchers I propose directly participate in Holy Grail Wars, instead either granting their Master Noble Phantasms that will allow them to fight on par with other Servants or giving them a test to earn the usage of a Noble Phantasm.

Fairy Godmother:

Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo- a spell that enchants objects and animals to turn them into Noble Phantasms or non-classed Servants, as well as enchanting their clothing to become armor able to withstand enemy Servant attacks and hide their identity. This enchantment effectively allows her Master to become a Servant class of their choosing, though this spell can only be activated after 6:00 (AM or PM) and will only remain active until the following 12:00. At this point, the effects wear off and her Master’s mana is sealed, preventing them from being tracked by enemy Servants if they escape in time. Her Master may also seal off their mana willingly to make an escape before 12:00.

Glass Slippers- though not inherently slipper shaped, objects turned into armaments will be made of glass and act as her Master’s main Noble Phantasm. Upon the invocation of Glass Slippers’ True Name, the glass is shattered and unleashes enough energy to potentially defeat a powerful opponent, but the effects of Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo will immediately end and her Master’s mana will be sealed. However, because shards of Glass Slippers will be left behind, if the enemy is not defeated with this attack, they will potentially be able to use them to track Fairy Godmother’s mana.

Kaguya-Hime:

Robe of the Fire Rat- grants her Master immunity to all fire or heat-based attacks while also granting resistance to Servant attacks.

Stone Begging Bowl of the Buddha- gathers mana, but just enough to match the stats of the Servant the Master is currently facing.

Jeweled Branch of Horai- emanates the souls that make up the atmosphere of Horai, granting the user knowledge of enemy Servants.

Jewel of the Dragon’s Neck- allows the user to summon forth water in the shape of a dragon, serving as their main method of offense.

Cowry of the Swallow’s Nest- allows the user to summon swallows as a form of transportation and secondary form of offense.

Elixir of Immortality- each time her Master defeats an enemy Servant, Kaguya heals their wounds, even if the wounds would have been fatal if not treated.

Possesses the Golden Rule Skill, attracting gold and wealth to her Master.

As she originates from the moon, Kaguya also qualifies for the Foreigner and Voyager classes. If summoned as either, she would use these Noble Phantasms herself.

The Moirai/Fates (collective Servant comprised of Clotho, Lachesis and Atropos):

Thread of Life- while their Master fights an enemy Servant, Lachesis provides vague hints about the course of the battle that will either help them to survive an attack or manage to inflict damage on a foe. When their Master successfully performs an action that will extend their life, Clotho spins more thread for them that will change fate in their favor. When their Master successfully harms an enemy Servant, Atropos will attempt to cut the enemy’s thread to determine if the attack was fatal, which can only be overcome by a Servant’s Luck stat or Skills such as Divine Protection. Repeated damage will make the enemy more susceptible to a fatal wound.

Yanluo Wang (AKA King Enma):

Ox-Head (Gozu) and Horse-Face (Mezu)- instead of fighting, Yanluo leaves his minions to guard his Master as non-classed Servants (though they qualify as Lancers). Ox-Head and Horse-Face fight as if they are the Master’s Servants, but can only function properly when the Master is around to see them fight. As they fight, it is the Master’s duty to discern the True Name of the enemy Servant. Once the Master has successfully done so, Ox-Head and Horse-Face automatically capture the target within a Reality Marble of Yanluo’s court, and Yanluo reviews the Servant’s legend. If the Servant was wholly good, they are freed from the Reality Marble (though Ox-Head and Horse-Face may continue to fight them), while if they committed any grievous sins, they are tortured until death within the Reality Marble. Divine Protection or similar Skills, Skills that make one resistant to torture or gain power from pain, legends that involve escape from the underworld, or sufficient strength/force of will may allow a Servant to escape on their own.

Penelope:

Contestant Bow- Penelope bestows a bow to her Master which they must string. In the Odyssey, the bow’s draw strength is too heavy for all but Odysseus to overcome, but here, there is a trick to it that the Master must identify. If they succeed, they will be granted the bow as a Noble Phantasm that will give them the strength and cunning of Odysseus, allowing them to fight on par with other Servants. If they fail, nearby enemy Servants gain the ability to detect their presence.

#fate series #fate strange fake #fate grand order #watcher #watcher class #fan servants

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imhereforbvcky · 5 years

Text

Watch Me Run - Part 11

Masterlist - Series Masterpage - Part 10 - Part 12

Summary: You inherit a family relic that gives you the gift of foresight but there are others who are interested for more nefarious reasons. You turn to the Avengers for help. (Bucky x reader) Chapter: You and Bucky settle into the safe house and set a plan B. Loki begins executing his next plans.

Warnings: probably swearing, angst of course

Word Count: 2124

A/N: Not gonna lie this one is a little slow. But they’re starting to trust each other, and care for each other a little more than just mission-mindedness.

“It’s uhm… cozy,” you nodded, looking around the tiny cabin.

The small wooden structure huddled quietly into the thick dark woods that surrounded it. Light was a resource out here, not a given, and the darkness that threatened to swallow you and Bucky both on the short walk from the rusted old pick-up truck to the creaking door of the cabin was felt very differently by each of you.

To Bucky it was safety, a blanket of natural protection that guarded you both from unwanted watchers and the danger still lurking in every corner. To you it was the danger, or at least the opportunity for it. Everywhere you couldn’t see was a place something deadly could hide. You hadn’t learned to use everything around you like Bucky had.

Sometimes, though, you could fool yourself out of fear with sarcasm.

“Very Grizzly Adams.”

Bucky grinned, shaking his head as he hauled his gear past you into a corner of the living space where a small wooden dining table stood, just big enough for two mismatched chairs.

“It’s functional,” he corrected.

“It can be both,” you shrugged. “Bit rustic, but the fireplace is nice, and all the cozy blankets. I bet it looks like a Thomas Kinkade painting after a good snow.”

“You don’t want to be here in the winter,” he chuckled.

The mere click, whoosh of unsnapping holsters and removal of his weapons was loud enough to fill the tiny space. The heavy clatter of the steel firearms and leather sheathed knives onto the wood tabletop was downright thunderous.

You didn’t argue, instead stepping further into the cabin, and slowly circling each area, taking it in. There was a large stone fireplace taking up one wall, surrounded by worn and sunken furniture. Behind the sofa stood the table where Bucky unloaded his modest personal armory. That “small” amount just about filled the room.

Behind Bucky stood minimal kitchen with an old porcelain sink, the kind that would run rusty water for a bit when you first turned the spout. A small wood-burning stove stood in the corner, dark and industrious. There was a refrigerator too, small with rounded edges, like it had been placed there in 1956 and left to rust. Orange streaks raced down from the metal handle, but it hummed loudly, proving its life. Maybe you’d been wrong about that old rusty truck being stolen. It seemed to fit right in.

On the opposite side of the cabin stood the sole bedroom, so tiny you wondered how any furniture had been moved into the tight space. No, surely the house had been built around the queen sized bed that reached within 2 feet of every wall. There was no other way.

“So where is ‘here’ anyway?” you asked, completing your spin.

“North.”

“Uh huh, uh huh. I gathered that when we got on the northbound freeway. But drove for hours. Can I get a little more than that?”

“It’s more than you need to know.” Bucky grumbled as he sunk down onto the undersized couch. Its tired springs and ancient frame groaned louder than he did.

“Really? I disagree.”

“You’re not going anywhere without me. So, yeah. It is.” He stretched out over the couch and crossed his arms over his chest, curling into as compact a shape as someone of his size could form on so diminutive a piece of furniture.

After the taxing beginning to this mission, the relief of his safe house sank through his entire body with tremendous weight. Need began to supersede want and civility. Starting a fire could wait. This conversation could wait. All he needed right now was sleep.

You had other ideas.

“Look, I just left everything that feels safe to me behind, all of it covered in blood.” Bucky slowly turned, reading every frantic expression as your voice rose in pitch and volume. “Every time I close my eyes a god from another world is destroying everyone and everything I touch. He is hunting me and I can’t run fast enough. I don’t know what these dark dreams mean but they are more than real and there is nothing I can do except sit in a truck and follow orders. So please!”

You blinked quickly, willing the fear and the grief you’d been swallowing for days back into the box that you kept far from the surface, far from where they were currently clawing up your throat and spilling at the edges of your eyes. Your gaze had remained on the floor as you spoke, but now it flickered to the calm grey of Bucky’s.

He only stared at you with an impassivity that was oddly comforting. Nothing could rattle him, nothing frightened him or chased him away. He was an immovable granite shelter in the icy storm that had begun to rage around you a week ago.

“Please, tell me something,” your voice had dropped to a whisper. “Anything so I can pretend that I still have a modicum of control over my own life.”

He nodded slowly. A quiet understanding and a silent agreement. Bucky understood control better than anybody. He perpetually worked to untangle the complex knot of both fearing and needing it.

“We’re in northern Canada. In a cabin on an unincorporated piece of land half an hour from a town you’ve never heard of.” His voice was even and low. This information was no more useful than what little you had before but it was something to think on at least. “Nobody’s heard of it. That’s the point. Nobody will find you here. You’re safe.”

You nodded quickly, shoving at tears with the heel of your hand.

“And in the impossible event someone does come, you remember what to do right?” He was sitting now, tired grey eyes soft but clear. He tugged on your wrists,demanding your focus, asking you to rehearse his instructions.

Another nod. “Yeah, um. The cellar door in the floor of the closet.”

“Mhmm.”

“There’s a key to the truck down there. Soon as it’s clear, I take it and run.”

“You get in that truck and you go. Anywhere but here.” He ducked a little to meet your eyes and found them little calmer, a little less frantic, but still wide and watery.

“What if I can’t?” you croaked. “Run, I mean. What happens to you when I leave you behind?”

“If it’s anyone but Loki: nothing happens. I’ll be fine; I’ll find you. And we’ll keep running. You and me,” he explained, smoothing his thumbs in light soothing sweeps over your skin. “But if it is him? You can’t wait to see what happens, you hear me? With that staff he’s got… I’m just as dangerous to you as I am useful. Best I can do is buy you time.”

You nodded, chewing your lip, apprehension in every bite. It made sense. It did. Loki was a well-trained combatant, with other-worldly strength and magic of which only legend told. It would take only one stumble, one missed shot, one tap of that sceptre, and Bucky your protector would become your hunter. The most prolific assassin in a century.

But the fact remained: you weren’t sure if you could. Leave Bucky to the hand of fate.

People like to think they’re logical, that they do things with thought and reason. But the truth i they are driven by instinct, by fear and learned responses, regardless of rationality. And you had learned as a very young child, curled up in the icy wreckage of a car waiting for rescue, watching the snow greedily seep the life from your family, that time is precious. People are precious. You don’t give up on them, and you don’t leave them to ruin in the cold.

He gave your arms another squeeze. “You’re not here to look after me. I’m protecting you. You’re my mission. Only time I’ve ever failed a mission was to save my best friend. Who was … also my mission.” He smirked slightly at the bittersweet memory. Just a hint of his lips ticking up at one corner. “I’ve got you, alright?”

Something between a chuckle and a sigh left you: relief. “Thanks.”

Carefully, you curled your hands to wrap around the underside of his forearms, holding onto him in return because in the end, whether either of you had chosen it, you were in this together now. He was all you had.

With a deep breath you let your fingers unfurl and felt his drift away, brushing over your skin. You missed it already, the comfort of his hold on you.

“I guess you weren’t kidding when you said ‘north,’ huh?” With arms wrapped tight around your stomach, fighting off a shiver, you glanced out the window.

“No,” he laughed, easing back onto the couch again.

“The Great White North.”

“It will be soon,” he promised.

“Hey, Bucky?”

“Hmm,” he hummed, eyes already drifting closed.

“What about you?”

“What about me?” A tired mumble spoken into the cushion.

“Who is looking out for you?”

He laughed at that. He didn’t mean to, but it burst out of him. The sort of laugh that comes only when the truth is too unpleasant to actually speak. And so instead, something cynical and dismissive had ripped forth instead.

“I’m serious,” you continued, your dangerously empathetic heart bleeding all over that lonely cabin, so obviously designed around stealth and escape and fear. “When’s the last time you got to be safe?”

A sigh would probably not suffice for an answer, he knew. “Wakanda. There was some time... I had a little place on the edge of the capital. Kept some goats, if you can believe it.” He chuckled at the memory. It seemed so far off now, so small in the timeline of his life, he almost questioned whether it was real.

“You weren’t there very long.”

“No,” he agreed. Not long enough. It never was. He’d become so tired of war, but it always found him. Drafted, then used mind and body alike, then drawn by guilt into whatever battles fell from the sky. This was his penance.

“Any other time?”

“I guess after SHIELD… HYDRA went down… that was running not fighting.”

“That doesn’t count,” you frowned, sitting on the floor beside the couch and curling your knees.”We’re running now and it’s anything but serene.”

“Then… Before the war, I guess.”

“The war…? As in, the World War?”

“Mhmm,” Bucky burrowed deeper into the couch. He was tired in so many ways. “Second one.”

“That’s… That’s like eighty years, Bucky!”

“Yeah.”

“Don’t you want to rest? Don’t you need a break?”

“You tryin’ to get rid of me?” You could hear the smile in his voice

“No.” You chuckled and he liked that. Liked the sound of complete relief, not a single trace of the fear from moments ago.

“No, you’re right. I’m retiring,” he teased. “Should we go to the beach?”

“Yeah!”

“’Kay, right after this nap.”

Hardly a moment later Bucky drifted off to the last sound he expected to hear on mission: a giggle.

Loki had chosen his target well. Waiting, always waiting outside the Avengers Tower, he studied the flash of badges, learned their roles until he found just the right one. She was a loner, awkward and frustrated. He’d followed just twice to make sure.

Once: in disguise, to a bar where she sat at the edge of a group of complaining software engineers. It must be hard, he thought to himself, always working in the shadow of someone like Tony Stark. They were full of complaints, and hers were often spoken over.

He considered that she might help him out of spite, but reconsidered. Best not. The risk was too great. Fear would ever be a far greater motivator than irritation. Spite could run out, anger could diminish, could be soothed. Fear… fear could be reapplied time and again.

The second time, the woman had gone straight home. No happy hour today, no grumbling except to her cat.

He waited in the darkness until the house went still, and then waited more.

She woke to a cold sharp metal piont at her chest, like the tip of an ice cube. Except it wasn’t. In her startled haze, and the pitch black of her room, all she could make out was the shimmering blue orb.

Next she noticed the silver blade stretching down to the center of her chest and her eyes snapped wide.

Dark hair and a sneering face were her last memories before her eyes clouded with the same blue as the orb. A lone command echoing in her head choked out the protests, even the scream already scratching at her throat.

Find all possible safe houses.

Chapter 12 >>

#bucky x reader #bucky x reader angst #bucky x reader fluff #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #avengers x reader #bucky bodyguard fic #bucky fic #bucky fanfic #wmr 11 #watch me run 11

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queen-scribbles · 5 years

Text

Blowing Smoke

for @pillarspromptsweekly fill 106: Awakened Anonymous

---

Of all her duties as Lady of Caed Nua, Tavi’s least favorite, by far, was the petitioners. She liked helping people, sure, but listening to a multitude of them drone on about shit their own mayors should be handling was not helping. It was sitting in an uncomfortable chair for hours on end and trying not to let her mind wander. At least the flow was occasionally broken by someone coming with thanks--or a genuine problem that required her attention. And she had Aloth to elbow her when she failed at not letting her mind wander.

Today though.... today had been an unbroken line of petty grievances and finger-pointing. Tavi was on the verge of tearing her hair out, flinging some choice expletives at the postenagos, and walking out when it finally, finally ended.

“I have never been so glad to see a kith’s fuckin’ back in my life,” she muttered to Aloth as the last one moseyed out of the great hall. She slouched on the throne and ran both hands through her hair, letting out a groan of relief that it was done..

“Today did seem a much greater test of your patience than most,” he chuckled sympathetically, offering her his hand. ”I’m proud of you for not punching anyone, much as I’m sure you wanted to.”

“Thanks, city slicker.” She took his hand and used it to lever herself out of the throne. Her knees were stiff from sitting so long, as was her back. She stretched like a cat, rolling her shoulders to try and loosen the tight muscles. “Berath’s ass, I need to go do somethin’ fun.”

“By which you mean beat the stuffing out of some poor training dummy?” He didn’t let go of her hand as they started down the dais steps.

Tavi shrugged. “’Less Keya or somebody’s willin’ to go a few rounds with me, probably. Is Ioan here? He’s always good for a fight....”

Aloth shook his head. “You sent him to Whitewreath, remember? He hasn’t made it back yet.”

“Oh, right. Fine.” She pinched he bridge of her nose as they stepped through the doors out onto the grounds. “I need my armor. And sabres. And then I need to beat the shit outta somethin’, be it willin’ hireling or sacrificial dummy.”

However, antsy as she was to hit something, enjoy her freedom on a rather beautiful evening, the man loitering near the fountain stood out too much to be ignored. His height and build suggested he was folk, the cut of his burgundy shirt and rich brown jerkin suggested Vailian origin, but none of that seemed terribly relevant considering his corkscrewing ash-grey horns and the flickering flames that swirled around his head.

He grinned when he caught her staring, looked her over right back. “Watcher?”

Tavi crossed her arms and arched a brow. “What’s it to ya?”

He made a deep, theatrical bow that trailed embers and smoke, spark-bright eyes dancing as he met her gaze. “Elias Colgrin at your service, ac? I realize your time is precious and you are likely sick to death of kith asking for your help-”

“But you’re planning to do so, regardless?” Aloth interjected dryly. He looked distinctly unimpressed by the man’s showmanship.

“With no obligation to do more than talk, I assure you, aimico,” Elias winked. “I believe we share a past... mutual acquaintance, and merely wished a conversation.”

Tavi’s brow arched even higher. “I don’t have a lot of acquaintances,” she commented, wondering how long Elias had carried the customary mes Réi before he shed it in favor of his own name, clever as it was. “Who do you imagine we know in common?”

There were only two options, far as she was concerned. He knew someone from Silversteel, or had had a run-in of his own with the copperfuckers who kept trying to kill her.

“Ah, Watcher, you misunderstand.” He shook his head and leveled a significant look at her. “A past mutual acquaintance.”

The pieces clicked as she stared right back. There was a feeling, a sense, to fellow Awakened souls; maybe only something she noticed due to being a Watcher, but whatever it was hung around Elias like a newly purchased cloak. Now that was interesting... She grabbed his elbow and dragged him toward Brighthollow, Aloth scrambling to catch up with her abrupt start.

“Tavi,” he hissed, “what’re you doing?!”

Elias chuckled before she could reply. “...You know, dear Watcher, it is usually customary to ask when you wish someone’s company.”

“You fuckin’ wish,” she retorted, then turned to Aloth. “Just trust me.”

He nodded and quickened his pace to open the door for her. Tavi released Elias’ arm once they were inside and led the way up to one of the now-empty rooms her companions had used. She opted to lean against the wall rather than sit on one of the chairs left behind.

“So.” She inclined her chin toward Elias as he dropped into one chair so his chest pressed against the back. “Exactly what ‘past acquaintance’ d’you think we share?”

“Oh...” He let the word trail off coyly. “A certain enigmatic Engwithan. Tall, imposing, impressive beard.” The bright spark of one eye briefly winked closed as he grinned. “Feel free to stop me when you guess it.”

"I think I got it,” Tavi deadpanned. “For someone who acknowledges how precious my time is, Elias, you sure seem intent on fuckin’ wastin’ it with fancy talk and guessing games. If you have somethin’ to say and aren’t just blowin’ smoke, cut the bullshit and say it.”

Elias rested his chin on the back of the chair. “Fair enough. The fancy talk and bullshit is my bread and butter; it’s hard to let it go, ac?” He cocked his head as he looked at her, the flames dimming slightly. “Thaos. I knew him. As did you.”

“What makes you think I did?” she asked, eyes narrowed. She knew some details of her pursuit had become common knowledge, but others had not. MAde her wonder where he’d gotten that idea.

He smiled thinly and shook his head. “Now who’s wasting your time? I do not come to accuse or recruit or whatever you think I’m up to. But I do know that you knew him. Previously.”

“How?” Aloth frowned as he settled in the other chair.

“Kith talk,” Elias shrugged. “You hear things, ac? Especially when in a tavern at the same time as another storyteller.”

She took his meaning; there’d been a good two decades where tavern chatter was her primary method of acquiring information. Kith did talk, especially when they were drunk, excited, or both. “Alright, then, how did you know him?”

He smirked and the flames flickered. “As a shepherd knows a wolf, honey-tongued and wily, come to steal his flock. As one who heard treacherous Iovara and her dutiful sister held up to contrast the waiting fates by those who saw their story unfold. I knew him as a smugly grinning judge who won my people to his faith in a trickle turned torrent, then accused me of heresy for not bending the knee to his wishes.” His Vailian lilt, which had vanished as he shared his past life’s experience, returned, and he smirked. “Heresy that could be forgiven through conversion and repentance, of course. Submission. Otherwise, the cleansing grip of Berath awaited, and hopefully my next life would be more receptive.” Elias gave a dark chuckle. “Given the memories do not extend much further, I think he--I--chose an honest death over a lived lie.”

“Good choice,” Tavi muttered, pushing away memories of pious hymns and muddy boots and the smiling face of a sister not yet betrayed. “And an interestin’ tale, I’ll give ya that.” She shoved off the wall and gave him a measuring look. “How long have you--”

“Been Awakened?” He shrugged gamely. “Only a few months, aimica.”

She raised a brow. “You’re handlin’ it a lot fuckin’ better than I did that early in.”

“Well, I can’t speak to your experiences, but bearing Magran’s favor has necessitated learning to roll with the punches.” His eyes sparked brighter as he grinned. “Or, at least, look like you’re rolling with the punches.”

“Oh, trust me, I’ve dealt with some fuckin’ stiff punches,” Tavi snarked. “Dealin’ with an Awakened soul is still a pretty big change. ‘Specially when they’re real different from you.”

Aloth coughed into the back of his hand and Tavi winked at him.

“All that aside, though,” she said to Elias, “what made you come to me? Thaos is dead an’ fuckin’ gone, so you’re a couple months late for revenge.”

“What good would that have done me, anyway?” Elias scoffed. “He did not seem the type to ever question if he was wrong. Besides, the past is the past.”

“Well, then,” she cracked her knuckles, “why are you here?”

“As I said, kith talk. You hear things, ac?” He spread his hands. “From the tales I hear, Thaos has been manipulating the course of history and faith itself for centuries... millennia. I thought, .between the two of us, if we compared experiences--memories--we could perhaps find some wrongs he caused, or at least set in motion, that could be made right.”

Tavi’s thoughts drifted to the speech Thaos had made, the boasting of plagues allowed, beneficent leaders replaced with tyrants. He didn’t seem to leave survivors in his wake, aside from his own followers. And sometimes they weren’t even so lucky. Sacrifices for the greater good. Finding some of the means he’d decided were justified by ends and setting things right was an enticing thought.

“It’s.... not a bad plan,” Aloth muttered, the grudging words yanking her from her reverie.

“Wait, you agree with him?” she blurted. She’d figured it would take at least a couple rounds of persuading.

“Not entirely,” he clarified, twisting one of his rings. “I’m not sure, at this point, how much good you can actually accomplish; in most cases it’s far too late for recompense. But if the two of you compare notes, as it were, you may be able to establish an idea of his patterns and methods, making it easier to trace events he may have influenced.”

“Ac, another good point,” Elias gestured broadly and grinned at Aloth. “I had not considered that; you may also find that useful.”

“And what’re you gettin’ outta this?” Tavi probed. “Most kith I’ve met aren’t this helpful outta the goodness of their hearts, why’re you so fuckin’ eager to help?”

“Who would not wish a chance to solve mysteries or right wrong hundreds of years in the making?” His grin widened and he leaned into the chair back, making it rock on two feet. “The tales alone would be worth my weight in gold, aimica. And to have the honor and privilege of working with the legendary Watcher Tavi Illani, Roadwarden of Caed Nua, well,” the chair thunked emphatically down on all four legs once more. “That will make me highly desirable to the curious. Knowing heroes always pays well for storytellers.”

Tavi stared at him as she weighed out his free acknowledgement of using her for the name recognition to line his pockets against the potential benefits of his proposal. He held her gaze steadily, the flames flickering and twisting around his horns as he waited. It sounded interesting, more fun than most parts of being the Lady of the castle, anyway,and if there was risk to it, well, that had never scared her before. “Eh, we can give it a fuckin’ try,” she finally shrugged.

“Belfetto!” Elias chuckled. “Agracima, Watcher.”

“Just call me Tavi.” She pointed a cautionary finger at him. “Don’t make me regret this.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he said as he pushed to his feet. “Hardly seems wise to cross one with your reputation, eh?”

“Smart man,” she smirked. “There are plenty of rooms free, since most of my friends have gone their separate ways, so you can have your pick of those. We can work things out tomorrow; gives you time to settle in and I” --she headed for the door, snagging Aloth’s hand to tug him to his feet as she passed--”have a previous engagement.”

“Agreeable terms,” Elias nodded, flames dancing brightly. “I shall see you tomorrow, then.”

“Both of us,” Aloth chimed in. However agreeable he was to Elias’ proposal, he clearly remained skeptical of the man himself. Probably a good thing one of them wasn’t swept up in the lure of righting wrongs and fucking up Thaos’ schemes.

“Ac, of course,” Elias agreed easily.

“Well, this should be interestin’,” Tavi said, linking her fingers between Aloth’s as they headed for her room so she could get her armor and sabres.

“That is one word for it,” he replied dryly.

“Oh, c’mon, city slicker.” She squeezed his hand. “Even if he is just blowin’ smoke”--he rolled his eyes and she grinned at the pun--”having another Awakened perspective on Thaos will be interestin’. It’s a damn good word and you know it.”

“I will concede the point,” Aloth said. He released her hand as they stepped into her room.

“Thought you might,” she gloated as she gathered up the lighter chain shirt she used for sparring and grabbed her sabres. He rolled his eyes again. But Tavi caught his fond smile as they headed out of Brighthollow. He knew, sketchy as it might be, she would enjoy this pursuit much more than she would warming a throne for hours on end and listening to people complain.The possibilities of it were already getting her excited, she had to admit.

Whatever came of it, this would prove very interesting, indeed.

-----------

So, yeah, new OC. :D He’s somewhere between Tekéhu and Scanlan personality-wise, and while I love him, you can imagine how well Aloth will get along with him. :P

#queens fic #pillars prompts weekly #tavi illani #aloth corfiser #elias colgrin #pillars of eternity

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emilyschoi · 4 years

Text

Passion

Emily Choi BTVS AU ll Part One Mentions : Everyone

“Passion. It lies in all of us. Sleeping... waiting... and though unwanted, unbidden, it will stir... open its jaws and howls.”

“No friends, no hope, no weapons. Take that away and what’s left?” Lucas smirked down at her, sword pointed directly at her. Emily crouched, eyes closing as she took in a sharp breath waiting for the strike to come, and it did predictably enough Lucas shoved the sword straight at her.

Emily blocked the sword, trapping it between her palms. Her eyes opened as she stared down Lucas, he might have took everything away from her but he wasn’t going to win - not this time. “Me,” she said shoving the sword back with as much force possible hitting him in the face and knocking him to the ground.

With that, the fight was back on. Emily fought with renewed vigor, she would make sure Lucas was one the sitting in hell for eternity and not the world. The back and the forth between them, every time she thinks she finally had him he would fight back and every time that smug bastard thought he had this in the bag she would get the upper hand.

Their fight moved back into the inside of Lucas’s lair, Emily was once and in charge managing to get a good kick on his head Lucas fell to his knees, Emily lifted her sword up ready to end it but paused when Lucas’s eyes started to glow. He fell forward, breathing deeply.

At this point, Emily had thought the universe couldn’t get any crueler to her - it had made her the slayer effectively ruining her life, the man she loved had become this monster and had destroyed everything that mattered her, her best friend was murder by said man’s evil little sidekick and now, the cruelest blow had happened Tara had managed to bring Lucas’s soul back.

“Em?” He said looking up at her, crawling forward and wrapping his arms around her waist. Emily froze, sword lowering just slightly, tears freely streaming down her face. “What is going on?” he asked looking up at her confused. He moved back, staggering to his feet. “Where are we?” he asked, Emily looked at him searching for any sign he was acting, she wouldn’t it past that version of him. “I don’t remember,” he said. She lowered the sword. It was her Lucas.

“Lucas?” she asked her voice breaking as she choked back a sob. She had wanted this to happen for so long but after Ms Calendar was murdered she didn’t think it was possible.

“Your hurt,” Lucas said looking at the gash he had left earlier, he reached out to pull her closer. Emily let him pull her into a hug. “I feel like i haven’t seen you in months,” he said, pressing soft kisses into her neck. “Everything is all muddled,” he said. Emily buried her head in his neck letting her self give in just for a moment. That moment was ruined, Acathla was fully awakened, Emily wanted to scream and shout about how unfair all of this but she know she didn’t have time to.

“Emily what’s going?” Lucas asked as she pulled away.

“Shh,” she said placing a finger on his lips., her voice broke as she spoke. She kissed him, putting her whole heart into hoping that somehow Lucas would know everything she wanted to tell him. It felt as natural as it did months ago before her 17th birthday but it was twinged with bitter sweetness. “Close your eyes,” she whispered pulling away. Lucas, her sweet Lucas did as she asked no questioned asked.

Fighting back a sob she picked up her sword, “I love you,” she said before plunging the sword into Lucas pushing him into the portal. Lucas’s eyes flew open, his hand reaching out for her as the portal sucked him. Emily took a step back watching in horror as he was dragged in. Her heart sunk to her stomach as he mouthed her name, a silent plea to save him. Her hand twitched wanting nothing more to follow her heart and pull him back, to figure out another way to save but she knew deep down there was no other way.

It was almost instantaneous but the portal shut. Lucas was gone, she had lost him twice. Emily fell to her knees, sobs wracking through her body.

Emily jolted up, it had been the third time this week she had been woken up by that particular memory. She wiped at her eyes, not surprised to feel wetness there. Her heart ached in ways she didn’t think possible. It had been 5 months since that had happened and yet it still like yesterday, it was a gaping wound for Emily that would never really heal. She had tried to run, after all just before that she had a fight with everyone who mattered in her life - her cousin, her friends even her watcher M, but that didn’t help her, not really, it helped her grow closer to Daniel once she returned to Sunnydale, it was nice that he finally knew the truth about her life.

Life continued and eventually her friends, well the ones that were left, eventually forgave her. Emily wouldn’t admit because it was a bitter nasty thought but why did she have to be the one seeking out forgiveness - she sacrificed everything to save them and would probably continue to do so but she was the one in the wrong. It was awkward, even now, she still didn’t feel like she could tell them what happened that fateful night. The dynamic had changed even more now that newer members had been added, Sungjae, a newer (greener than green in M’s words) watcher had shown up with a new slayer Jia, Eunmi’s replacement who ended up doing a runner, and Jane, formerly a vengeance demon who lost her powers after Minah had made a wish - no one was really sure what happened there.

Emily tried though, she really did try, she even had a new boy friend. Gideon, a normal teenage boy - plain and boring. It was nice but it would never be love.

With a sigh, Emily threw her legs over her bed knowing she would never get back to sleep now. She tried, keyword, tried to sneak down the stairs but was caught by Daniel who was sat in front of the tv watching what looked like a ton of infomercials. “Couldn’t sleep either?” he asked as he turned to face Emily. Emily shook her head walking into the kitchen grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge.

“You should really try to get some sleep,” Emily said softly to Daniel as she walked back into the room. Ever since he found about the supernatural world Daniel was on edge, to say the least. Daniel shrugged, muttering a ditto as Emily sat down beside him curling into him.

“Do you need to talk?” He asked, as she rested her head against his shoulder. The answer was yes, Emily desperately needed to talk to someone. She needed to vent and shout and cry and just let some off it out so she could let go of some of the guilt but she couldn’t, she couldn’t burden anyone else with this. Daniel took her silence as a response. “I know i am not the best at this but,” he said awkwardly. “Whatever you need Em,” he muttered.

“I know,’ she said. Daniel had really changed since she told him about her being the slayer, at first he was mad so so very mad , mad enough that he had stomped into the library after Emily was reinstated at Sunnydale high and slapped M so hard that he had a bruise for the next week. Even now he was still mad about it wondering why it was a teenage girls job to save the world but he supported Emily as much as possible whether that was making sure to have a first aid pack ready when she got home from patrol or having several cups of coffee ready for her in the morning.

“I think i might do another patrol,” Emily said, ignoring the way Daniel’s eyes bulged out and lips thinned into a frown. “Just to get rid of some of this excess energy,” she said, get rid of some energy and maybe stake a few vampires to help her mood.

“I don’t think that is the best idea,” Daniel said. “You’ve already done enough tonight and M -” Emily didn’t miss bitterness in Daniel’s tone when he mentioned her watcher. “Said that there was a dip in new cases,’ Daniel said hopefully. M had told Daniel because Emily told him to, she had hoped it might calm Daniel’s fears. If Daniel had known they found three bodies in the last week he would never let Emily out.

“Well if there are no problems i’ll be home straight away,” Emily said happily. “Daniel, seriously i’ll be fine, I’m the slayer after all,” she said, it was arrogant but true. She had beat The Master, she had beat The Judge and as her nightmares constantly pointed out she beat Lucas.

She was the slayer.

“I can’t talk you out of it can i?” Daniel asked with a sigh. “I’ll be up when you get home anyway,” he shrugged. Emily leaned across hugging him. The best thing about living with Daniel, especially now with the new openness in their relationship, was there was a never ending supply of hugs and cuddles. He never complained or asked why, he just wrapped her up and cuddle the crap out of her.

“Be safe,” Daniel said, kissing her forehead. Emily laughed, being safe wasn’t really in her job description but she nodded anyway, pulling away and grabbing her coat. She considered getting changed but there was no time like the present and it wouldn’t be the first and it certainly won’t be the last time she has done patrol in her pj’s.

---

After three laps of the cemetery Emily was starting to feel a little exhausted, she was about to call it when she heard a scream. It was as if someone had poured a jug of ice cold water on her because she was suddenly wide awake. She ran towards where the scream came from, jumping over several headstones and through several bushes. Once the adrenaline had simmered down she realized just where she was, if she continued running in this direction she would be near Lucas’s mansion. She swallowed down the pain she felt and refocused on the task at hand. Another scream rang out and she raced forward.

She stopped when she saw a figure, definitely not a human, standing over a woman’s body. “Hey ugly,” she called out getting the beast attention. She didn’t get a chance to get a proper look at before it was lunging at her with a snarl, it tackled her but she managed to flip it over. Whatever it was it was stronger than your run of the mill vampire, it seemed with every hit Emily managed to get on this thing it came back even stronger. A long claw managed to get into her side causing her to scream in pain, so much for being safe. The creature loomed above her ready to strike until it suddenly wasn’t, like a flash something,or someone had it tackled to ground. Emily stood up dusting herself off going to help but the creature from before was gone leaving what looked like a man crouched down breathing heavily.

“Tha-” she started to say before the man leaped at her. Honestly tonight was not her why did people think it was okay to tackle her, she punched the man making him fall back giving her an opportunity to get up. “I was just going to thank you, you ass-” she said trailing off when she saw the man’s face.

“Lucas?” she whispered. It couldn’t be him, it must have been her mind playing tricks on her but why would her mind make him look like this. It wasn’t the Lucas she fell in love with nor was it his soulless alter ego, instead Lucas was covered in scratches, his hair a matted wild mess, his pants were ripped and frayed. Everything about this version of Lucas, if it was really him, was animialstic, his posture, the way he watched her - it wasn’t natural. “Is it really you?” she asked.

She didn’t know what she was expecting, honestly she didn’t think she would get an answer but Lucas, if it was really him, just snarled, kicking her down before running off into the woods. She sprang up trying to chase after him until she was stopped when her cellphone started to ring.

“Daniel now isn’t” she started to say.

“Emily,” Daniel whispered, “That vampire from before, the one that was in a wheelchair, he is here again,” he continued whispered. Emily’s blood ran cold, Tyler, the great dragon as he liked to call himself now, once upon a time was Tara’s older brother now was a bloodthirsty cruel vampire who last time she saw him ran off into the sunset with his sometimes girlfriend, sometimes Lucas’s whore Maude.

“Hide,” she said before hanging up and dialing M’s number. “Get to my house now,” she said before he could even say hello. Whatever else was happening right now didn’t matter, not that beast or the dead body it surely left behind, not Lucas. Right now the only thing that mattered was protecting her family so with that soul thought in her mind she ran faster then she thought possible back towards their home, ready to finish Tyler for good.

It speaks to us... guides us. Opening the door to her house she didn’t know what to expect. She had hoped that Daniel managed to stay hidden until M had shown up. Seeing Tyler hogtied and gagged to a chair wasn’t something she thought she’d see when she got here but it was what he was greeted with.

“Uhm?” she asked, stepping into see M passing Daniel a cup of coffee as they sat at the kitchen counter acting like there wasn’t a dangerous vampire just chilling in their living room. “Did i miss something?” she asked, looking from Tyler to them. The vampire in question was struggling trying to say something. Emily scoffed ignoring him purposely stepping on his feet as she walked over to M and Daniel.

“You're hurt?” Daniel gasped looking at the dried up blood on her shirt.”This is why you shouldn’t do random patrols,” he ranted.

“I am sure she was aware,” M said taking a sip of his coffee, “Apparently Maude ditched Tyler after she found out he betrayed Lucas ,leaving him to be experimented by some unknown force and now apparently he can’t harm any human,” he said tiredly.

“Daniel, it's a flesh wound,” Emily said, trying to appease Daniel who was glaring at her. “And right, did he tell you that because i wouldn’t believe anything that comes out of his mouth.” she said looking over at Tyler. “And even if it was true why did he come here?” she asked.

M shrugged taking another sip of his coffee. “It is too early for me to deal with him,” he said pointing to the clock. 4.25 am. It was almost morning, well it was morning, but not acceptable for a teenager to be up in the morning yet.

“Big help as always,” Emily muttered. “Make me a hot chocolate and i’ll forgive you,” she said sweetly causing M to roll his eyes, a fine fine escaping his lips. Emily sighed, she knew this wasn’t going to fun dealing with Tyler never was. She stomped over to him crouching down so they were eye to eye, without any warning Emily ripped the duck tape of Tyler’s mouth.

“Fuck!” he said. “You little fucking bitch,” he said. Emily rolled her eyes, he really couldn’t come up with anything better. “I come to warn you and this is the thanks I get,” he rambled.

“Warn me about what?” Emily asked, cutting him off.

“Well- “ he trailed off, a smirk making its way onto his face. “I was going to tell you for free but after how I've been treated i think i should get something in return,” he said matter o’factly.

“Or I could just kill you,” Emily said happily. “Mr Pointy has your name written all over it,” she said spitefully. Unfortunately it didn’t have the desired effect instead it caused Tyler chuckle.

“Oh the stake your little friend tried to use on Maude just before she snapped her neck,” he laughed. “Oh i am sorry, touchy subject?” he said pretending to pout. “Whoops,” he deadpanned. It was like something snapped in Emily, how dare he mention Eunmi, She lunged forward only to be pulled back by M.

“He isn’t worth it,” He whispered.

“Yeah listen to your watcher young lady, I am sure he knows a lot about repressing rage after all he will never get revenge for his dear Miss Calendar, especially since you killed soul boy,” Tyler snorted. “Gotta admit shorty i didn’t think you had it in you,” he grinned. This time M stepped forward, sucker punching him in the nose.

“Why did you even come here?” Emily asked. “And don’t give me that bullshit excuse you told M, got experimented on? please,” she scoffed.

“It’s not bullshit,” Tyler winced, face full of his own blood for once, “If it was, do you think I would still be sitting here? I know you have a tiny little brain but please try to use it,” he huffed. “Look I came here firstly you live here and secondly last time i was here your cousin was more than happy to play nurse for me so maybe i was looking for some love and affection,” he said, turning winking at Daniel who was still sitting at the kitchen counter.

“I thought you were a human,” Daniel cried out.”I wouldn’t help you now,” he said face morphing in disgust.

“Keep telling yourself that love,” Tyler smirked before his face fell when he turned back to face Emily and M. “As much as it pains me to say this, i need your help and since i so kindly helped you with your Lucas problem i think its only fair you help me, so if you could you know untie me,” he snapped.

“You helped me because you were jealous, don't make it sound like you helped me out of the kindness of your cold dead heart,” Emily said sarcastically. “And if what you say is true then why would I help you out? A vampire who can’t hurt people? It makes my job a whole lot easier,” Emily said.

“Because what do you think they are going to do the likes of you and your little friends? They’d probably take you down as well, never mind Tara and her little dog, a witch and a werewolf - at least the mutt would be put down,” he said, the last bit a little too gleefully.

“I say we just leave him here with the curtains open,” Daniel spoke up again. “I’ll happily sacrifice my freshly cleaned carpets for humanity,” he said dramatically. Tyler craned his neck growling before letting a groan, a pained look on his face.

“Look, i hate saying this, but there might be some truth to what Tyler is saying,” M spoke, shocking everyone. “If there is this unknown force who can supposedly make vampires harmless - well as good it sounds - does need some investigating,” he said. “I think first we should test if what Tyler is saying is true,” he said with a frown.

“Seriously you want me to untie him?” Emily asked incredulously, letting a vampire, even if it was an alleged harmless one, on the loose in her house. M had to be joking.

“Look two of us can handle him and Daniel well he can at least try,” M said. Daniel let an affronted snort while Tyler rolled his eyes. “Just do it,”M said with a huff. Emily scoffed but did as she was told, purposely making sure to get little digs in Tyler, quite literally.

Once the ropes were loosened Tyler leaped to his feet running straight at M reaching out before dropping down, a pained scream ringing out through the room as he grabbed at his head. Emily and M watched with morbid curiosity at least in Emily’s case. Daniel tip toed over to have a look, a frown on his face.

“So he was telling the truth?” Daniel asked looking at M who just shrugged.

“No shit blondie,” Tyler growled. “Since we’ve established I was experimented on by some sick assholes, can we get to the point where you help me out,” he said with a scowl.”And also who do I have to kill - “ he started to say before letting out a frustrated huff. “Can i get some blood already?”

“Oh of course what would you prefer, we have O positive and AB negative on tap,” Daniel said sarcastically. Emily giggled at how Daniel started to get sassy once it was confirmed that Tyler was harmless.

“How about you do something useful and pour me a cup of yours,” Tyler snapped rubbing at his risk. “When i said you were a snack i meant it literally,” he said narrowing his eyes.

“Are you sure we can’t just let him die?” Daniel asked pouting.

M rubbed at his temple. “Look right now we need him alive, so do you think you can be civil with him for a few more hours?” he asked. Both Emily and Daniel let out a shout of protest. “Look i know its not ideal but he is the safest here right now,” he said. “Now i suggest you try to get some more sleep, you have a meeting with Mr Jung today,” M said to Emily who frowned. She forget about her appointment with the school counselor - a way to prove to Snyder that she was being a good little girl and wasn’t insane.

“You expect us to sleep with that in our house?” Daniel snapped. “Do you actually want Emily to die because as a watcher you seem to be making bad decision after bad decision -” he said do air quotes around the word watcher.

“Daniel stop,” Emily said.

“No no let him go on,” Tyler said grinning wickedly. “Do you know about the time he let your baby cousin have se-” he started to say before Emily threw Daniel’s empty cup at his head. Tyler rolled his eyes, dusting of the shards, “You know though if you truly feel you can’t sleep in my presence i am sure we could do something to tire you out,” he said with a sleazy grin.

“I’d rather die,” Daniel said looking Tyler up and down, an unimpressed look on his face. ‘I am not that desperate,” he said with an eye roll.

Emily sighed.

This was going to be a long morning.

Passion rules us all.

“M messaged me about last night, I figure you’ll be needing this,” Tara said, handing Emily a coffee from the nearby Starbucks, a sympathetic and almost apologetic smile on her face. Emily took the cup, were they talking about Lucas - no it couldn't be she was sure she didn’t mention that to M.

“I said after dealing with Tyler you’d need something stronger then just a regular coffee but apparently that is violating school rules” Mark chimed in from beside her, he looked a little worse for wear, heavy eye bags, hair mused messily and a slew of scratch marks colored his skin. In the drama that was last night, well this morning, Emily had completely forgotten that it was a full moon. “Which is odd because we generally don’t care for that and constantly break them,” Mark shrugged, stroking his chin as if he was pondering the meaning to life.

“Yeah but that is when it comes to Slayer stuff not dealing with my annoying brother,” Tara responded before frowning,”Which technically is slaying stuff,” she pouted. Mark laughed beside wrapping his arm around her shoulder as she rested her head on his shoulder. “Sorry Em, I am just tired you know- “ she said. Emily did know, against basically everyone’s advice, Mark included, Tara had made it her mission to stay with him during every full moon to try and soothe his wolf form and provide some TLC for him when he changed back. It was a long and tedious - not to mention dangerous thing to do but Tara was determined to stick by him even rejecting Emily and M’s offers of taking over for her so she could get some rest.

Emily nodded, a weak smile making it ways onto her face as Mark pressed soft kisses all over Tara’s face. They were cute, adorably so and Emily was truly happy they had each other but seeing them so happy and in love caused her heart to ache. As her mind always did she briefly imagined what it would have been like if Lucas was just your average boy, if she was the one getting back hugs and morning kisses before the bell for first period, if they would have study dates instead of cemetery dates- but that wasn’t her reality no matter how much she wished it was. Instead he was a 240 year old vampire who she could never truly be with.

Especially not now.

She was mused out of her thoughts when Gideon - her current boy who was a friend showed up, his friend Henry and his girlfriend Mindy in tow. “Hey,” he greeted her, pressing a quick kiss to her cheek. Emily plastered a fake smile on her face, happy she learnt something from the acting class Daniel had dragged her to. Gideon was nice, very handsome and most importantly completely human but he wasn’t right, he was just a little too short, his voice wasn’t quite as deep - he just wasn’t right. “I just stopped by to say,” he said awkwardly.

“Well hey,” Emily said, giggling softly. She saw out of the corner of her eye Tara and Mark making a gagging gesture.

“Hey Mark, i didn’t see you in Jazz band this year,” Mindy spoke out drawing the attention to her, Emily noticed Tara bristle next to her. Emily had admittedly been an absentee friend of late but she had never seen Tara react like to well anyone.

“Oh yeah, couldn’t handle the pressure,” Mark said shaking his head. “It’s not the music it’s the marching,” he said solemnly.

“We have a marching jazz band?” Emily asked. Henry snickered, earning a shove from Gideon who shook his head. Emily looked down in embarrassment, there was a running joke among her family that they should have all been born blonde and she certainly felt it right now.

“Yeah but since the best jazz is improvisation we'd all be going off in our own direction, banging into floats - scary stuff” Mark continued winking at Emily to let her know it was a joke.

“He is just being Mark,” Tara said nodding.

“Pretty much all the time,” Mark added causing Tara to giggle and just like that Tara and Mark were lost in Tara and Mark land.

“Those are some nice flowers,” Emily said to Mindy, to be polite more than anything. They were just a regular flower bouquet, nothing special. Lucas had bought her nicer ones when he was a soulless serial killer because he wanted to mess with her.

“Aw thanks,” Mindy gushed, making sure the flowers were the center of attention.”Henry bought them for me,” she said reaching out to rub at her boyfriend’s chest. Unlike Mark and Tara who made her heart ache, this couple made her want to vomit.

‘It was nothing,” Henry said boastfully, Emily bit the side of her cheek. He clearly did think it was something since he was so proud. “Just something boyfriends do,” he said side eyeing Mark. “I am sure Gideon does that for you Emmy,” he said. Emily’s fingers twitched, why was this boy she barely knew giving her a nickname.

“No we aren’t to the flower stage yet, are we?” Gideon said turning to Emily, a panicked look in his eyes.

“No we are still at the pre pollination stage,” Emily said lightly. “Don’t worry i will let you know when you can buy me flowers,” Emily said, watching as Gideon relaxed. God forbid him buy her some flowers Emily thought bitterly, she could hear Daniel in her head telling her this boy is not worth it. “ What time is it?” she asked, pulling up Gideon’s wrist. “Ah, I have to get going. I've got an appointment with Jung,” she said. Honestly she was looking for a way out of this conversation.

“Mr Jung, the school counselor?” Mindy asked.

“Is that a problem?” Tara piped up, eyes narrowed as she took a step in front of Emily, which as much as it made her smile was funny in its own right.

“Yeah , i need to see him once a week to convince him i miss stable so i can stay in school,” Emily supplied. Hopefully mentioning that she might not be stable would stop Mindy from saying whatever she was was going to say next.

“That guy gives me the creeps.” Mindy said, shuddering. “I’d totally quit going but i’m flunking senior bio and my teacher thinks i have success issues,” she said mockingly as Henry rolled his eyes shaking his head.

“Senior bio i kinda aced that finally,” Mark said as Tara broke out into a wide grin. She thought Mark should be more proud of his academic achievements instead of acting like it was no big deal. “I can give you my notes if that would help,” he offered. Emily watched as Mindy’s face light up and winced, apparently she wasn’t the only one who noticed because the looks Henry was giving Mark were downright frightening.

“That would be great, thanks,” Mindy said cheerfully. At that exact moment the bell rang out signalling classes, or in Emily’s case therapy had begun.

“I’ve gotta go,” she said, kissing Gideon’s cheek before turning to head to Mr Jung’s office.

And we obey. What other choice do we have?

“Emily Choi reporting for sanity,” Emily spoke walking into a dimmed office, eyeing the back of a turned chair. She could see a hand holding out a cigarette. Emily sniggered, nice to know the teachers really stuck to the school rules as well. “Look i know i have to do this and i’ll cooperate, i look at your ink blots and whatever but i don’t want to talk about me , or my family, or my childhood,”she listed “Or anything for that matter,” she added. “I don’t want to be friends here,” she said.

The chair turned, slowly, reminding her of a bond villain. Her eyes widened as she recognized the counselor he was one of Daniel’s gentleman friends. “I don’t want be friends Emily,” he said. “You have friend right? Hopefully you have friends,” he said. Emily’s face dropped before she schooled it back to normal. She had friends, even if they weren’t as close as they once were , they were still her friends. “You should have friends,” Mr Jung continued, putting out his cigarette and dousing himself and the area in front of him with cologne. “Friends are good thing, they are always there to tell you what you need to hear which is not what you need,” he said pointedly,. “No what you need is trained not so crazy professional who will always tell you his honest opinion,” he said. “Which i offer,” he added

“Now take a seat,” he said with a smile so big it made his eyes pretty much disappear. Emily smiled weakly taking the seat in front of him.

“This is awkward,” she muttered causing Mr Jung to laugh.

“Why because at some point I sucked your cousin's dick?” he asked bluntly. “Don’t worry, I am a professional,” he said seriously.

“So professional your credentials are not so crazy?” Emily joked causing Mr Jung to shrug.

“Look Emily, no matter who you are child, adult, counselor or the pope nobody is completely sane,” he said seriously. “Anyone who says they are completely sane Miss Choi are either lying or incredibly stupid,” he said causing Emily to giggle. “Look everyone, all of us, have problems, we all have our demons,” he said. Emily looked down wasn’t that the truth, Emily had more demon’s then she could count.

“Gotta say i am with you on that,” Emily muttered.

“Good, the hope i bring to you is that you can fight those demons, people can change, you can change,” he said. Emily hummed, she could fight her demons until she was blue in the face but she doubted she would ever be able to change. It was like the world didn’t want her to. “Great now why don’t we start with you? Why did you runaway?” he asked.

“It’s a long story,”Emily muttered, looking anywhere but at him. “It’s pretty boring,” she said.

“Bore me,” he said simply.

“You know i am complete over it, I am doing fine, I am in a good place, I’m healthy, I’m even dating someone new” she said.

“All good things,” Mr Jung agreed. “But you are giving the last page without the rest of the book, how did we get here Emily?” he continued to push.

“I was dating someone,”Emily sucked in a breath, “And it ended badly, I was fighting with my cousin and i kind of freaked,” she said that was as honest as she could get.

“Tell me about this guy, the bad ending guy,” he continued.

Emily paused, fiddling with the hem of her sweater. “He was my first,” she said trying to figure out what to say next, her first proper boyfriend, her first love, her first everything. “I loved him and then he,” she was stopped, her voice getting croaky and her eyes getting misty.

“And he changed,” he finished for her, she nodded not trusting herself to speak. “He got mean,” he continued. “But you still loved him,’ he said. Emily nodded again. “Lots of people lose themselves in love, look how many songs are wrote about it,” he joked, “the thing is you can’t stay lost, eventually you have get back to yourself,” he said.

“And if you can’t?” Emily asked.

“If you can’t, well then love becomes your master and you are just its dog,” he said.

Passion is the source of our finest moments.

The joy of love... the clarity of hatred... the ecstasy of grief.

Walking into the library after classes had ended Emily didn’t expect to see everyone gathered. She especially didn’t expect to see Tara glaring at M and Mark closing in on himself. “What happened?” she asked looking around the room.

“Wolf boy escaped last night and killed some one -” Jane, the former demon said, flipping her blonde hair over her shoulder nonchalantly.

“He did not,” Tara snapped. “I was there with him the whole night,” she defended Mark. “And that person had a name you know,” she said, eyes narrowing at the blonde. “Maybe you should learn some empathy if you want to keep pretending you are human,” she huffed.

“I am more human than he is,” she said pointing to Mark, “And this is boring,” she said rolling her eyes. “Mr M have you ever had sex in this room?” she asked. “And if not do you want to?” she continued. Emily’s nose scrunched up in disgusts.

“Okay move on can someone not as her- “ she said gesturing to Jane who looked offended, “explain to the slayer what is going on? Is there a reason we think Mark escaped?” she asked looking at M. He was the only person she trusted in this room to give her a non biased response, Sungjae was a little too stuffy to be trusted he was on the anything remotely supernatural shouldn’t be trusted side, Minah who was still a little bitter about Julien doing a runner and blaming Emily and her friends for everything that has gone wrong her life, Tara for obvious reasons and well Mark, Emily was hoping she could give him some peace of mind.

“RIght a body was found last night, severally mauled,” M said seriously. “It would appear to be a werewolf attack,” he sighed rubbing his temple.

“But Tara was here last night,” Emily said. “She would have noticed if he escaped and she would have told someone,” she said. Tara would never just let Mark roam free, it was dangerous not only for them but for Mark as well.

“Love makes liars out of everyone,” Jane interrupted. Emily let out an annoyed huff, looking at M with an unimpressed look. Emily genuinely wondering why she was here, she was pretty sure attended college with Minah so why were they hanging out in a high school library.

“She fell asleep,” Sungjae interjected. “Which i dont blame Miss Lee for at all, it was irresponsible to leave a teenage girl incharge of baby sitting a werewolf, i am frankly shocked that Mr Giles would allow her to do something so reckless, harboring a dangerous beast - the watchers council will be hearing about this,” he continued. Emily briefly imagined what it would be like to punch him in the face, it would be fun.

“Are you going to tell them about how your slayer did a runner?” Emily asked happily, “I am sure the watcher council would love to hear about that,” she said with an eyeroll.

“Yes well there is a chance that Mark -” M started before stopping when he looked over at Mark who buried his head in his hands. Tara beside him glared at everyone in the room before standing up and rubbing circles into Mark’s back, whispering reassurances to him.

“There is a chance,” Emily said, “But it might not be, last night on my second patrol, there was this thing that attacked me -” she continued. “Wait, was this a female body because i can safely say it wasn’t Mark,” she said. She had hoped that would have had a more positive reaction but instead it just got gloomier.

“It was Jaehyun,” Mark said looking up, he looked and sounded completely devastated, “The body was Jaehyun Young,” he muttered, Tara frowned behind him wrapping her arms around his shoulders and resting her chin against it.

“Okay so not the same body,” Emily frowned.

“But potentially the same killer,” M said. “Look we have one more night to a perfect full moon,”he said. “If we split up we can manage this,” he said nodding his head. “Emily will do her normal patrol tonight,” he said, “While we look after Mark and figure out what you saw,” he said nodding to Emily.

“What about Tyler?” Emily asked, “We can’t just leave him with Daniel,” she said, even with Tyler’s inability to hurt people she could see them standing each other for much longer without some damage happening.

“Tyler? He is here? You didn’t kill him?” Minah jumped up with a growl. “Some slayer you are,” she huffed. “You let Lucas go until the world was literally going to end, Maude is god knows where even though she snapped your bestfriends neck and now Tyler is playing happy homes with your cousin,” she snapped. “Could you just do your job for once -” she continued.

“Minah!” Tara shouted out. “That’s not fair,” she said.

“It’s fine Tara,” Emily said softly, “Minah if you think it is so easy then feel free to take my place tonight, i’d much happier stay here pretending to help out a friend while feeling sorry for myself because my boyfriend ran away like a little bitch,” Emily continued.

“At least my boyfriend didn’t turn into an evil psychopath because i was a bad lay,” Minah responded eyes narrowed as she went in for the kill. Emily’s face fell, that night was something they all collectively agreed not to bring up. It was probably the most traumatic thing Emily had been through which says a lot because she has died once.

“That is enough,” M shouted out. “Tyler is only alive right now because he has information that concerns people in this room not because of Emily’s skills as a slayer,” he said tiredly. “Miss Delacroix, I'd appreciate it if you kept your comments about people’s personal life to yourself - all things considered,” he said pointedly. Emily had no idea what M was implying but whatever it was got to Minah since she sunk back down into chair. “Now about Tyler, i think it would be easy just to show you,” he said. “Now i suggest you all get comfortable because it’s going to be a long night,” The was an air of finality in M’s tone that no one argued with.

It hurts sometimes more than we can bear.

Emily frowned, it was quiet, way too quiet. On any given night there were atleast 5 vampires roaming the streets of Sunnydale, more at the cemetery but tonight there was nothing. It was like every vampire decided to stay home, it was unnerving and it left Emily feeling antsy.

Something was off tonight. Or perhaps Emily was off, the day had left feeling emotionally exhausted and she honestly wanted something to happen so she could let out some frustrations. Another part of her wanted to go to the mansion to check if Lucas was there. If what had happened in the early hours really had happened or was it just some trick. One didn’t just escape hell, it wasn’t possible or it shouldn’t be.

With a frustrated sigh Emily kicked the ground stomping over to an old oak tree and sliding below it. The moon shone brightly above her, she stared up at it, remembering that she was here to prove one of her friends wasn’t a murderer.

She huffed standing back up, dusting herself off as she did so. She figured another lap wouldn’t hurt, patrolling was lonely work, especially now that Eunmi was gone. Her eyes briefly flickered over to the side of the cemetery she was buried in, she had yet to go pay her respects. She knew she wasn’t up to it yet, Eunmi was the only person who understood Emily’s life, her best friend and partner in crime. She got what it was like to be a slayer, to be expected to give up every normal bit of your life to focus on saving everybody else and now she was gone. Emily shook her head trying to shake the tears out of her eyes. Once she was done with this she was going to hunt Maude down, rip her heart and shove it down her throat before setting her on fire

Emily continued to patrol but nothing was happening. She pulled her phone out of her back pocket, checking to see if there were any updates. Nothing, she hoped that meant everything was okay. It would be completely irresponsible for her to go check the mansion. She had a job , she had to do it but it had been hours and nothing was happening. She would just go look, it wouldn’t take that long.

The mansion, old and decrepit now, was open. Emily sucked in a breath, counting to five before stepping in. It was just like it was the last time she was here, she could still see her blood stains on the carpet. She stepped towards that room, she knew that the statue of Acathla was long gone. M had seen to that. She stepped in timidly, stupidly calling out. “Lucas?” she whispered.

She found him. Not how she expected him to. She found him chained to the wall, just as feral as he was last night. He looked over at Emily, eyes completely unfocused and unsure. Emily took a step towards watching as he pulled against his restraints trying to escape from her. Emily lips turned down into frown, “Lucas,” she whispered reaching out to touch only for him to flinch a whimper escaping his lips. “Can you even understand me?” she asked, her heartbreaking. What happened to him. “It’s me,” she said hoping that it would snap him out off it. She wouldn’t care if he was happy to see her or if he wanted to kill her for betraying him she just wanted something, some sign of recognition, some sign he was still in there somewhere but instead all she got was him trying to hide himself. A sob escaped her lips as she backed out of the room slowly, before running to flee completely. Just like her morning run in with Lucas her cellphone rang.

“Em , Mark escaped,” M said to from the phone. “Be careful,” he said before hanging up and like that Emily had to refocus, making sure her friend didn’t accidentally eat someone was more important right now.

#story #au

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