#if we balance the silliness and the seriousness right we can attract more people

[littlefankingdom]

That's what my sister and I have been saying since we were teen. Batman should be a show where seasons are long (not the 8 or 13 episodes we have no) and at each one, a new Robin is introduced. This side of Bruce's story is not told on TV, and it's a shame + it would change it

DC must not want money because if they did, they would have made a Batman & Robin movie or show centered on Bruce getting Dick. Currently, people are all about "disgruntled man suddenly has a child he is not blood related too and becomes a father", if DC just use the recipe with Bruce and Dick, people would eat that shit up. Especially because Batman's story is about hope, and what better way to deliver that than by giving him a kid?! Especially as it is the goal of the recipe, to give hope to the disgruntled man! Instead of trying again and again to sell Batman had this "misery 4ever" story (which it is not supposed to be) to please the edgelords.

I don't know wtf DC is doing, don't they have people analysing the market??? How can they miss that???

[millenniumblog]

[ID: A chart describing the core values of each of the nine Enneagram personality types with YuGiOh characters correlated to each of the types.]

YuGiOh Enneagram Analysis, Part #1

Please note that this is the “boring” informational post about Enneagram with the Types listed and explained as well as a few other things. The next post is what has the actual, in-depth character profiles promised!

Introduction & Motivation

Over the past several months, I have been trying to analyze my strengths and weaknesses as a writer and learn more. I have been writing fanfiction since I was a little kid, making my first FF.net account in 2003 when I would have been twelve years old. Even before that, I was a lurker and wrote fics to share with my childhood best friend on paper or floppy discs.

YuGiOh came into my life at some point shortly thereafter. I know this, because I spent my thirteenth birthday in a comic book shop, mostly watching some of my male friends play the trading card game. I had some of the cards, but I was never much of a player, unable to keep up with the seemingly rapid rule changes. Besides that, I was always way more interested in the story and characters than I was in the card game. I remember I even wanted to call “YuGiOh cards” “Duel Monsters” instead to make it seem a little closer to tween-y LARPing.

Eventually, I gave up on collecting cards or trying to ply the game. I felt that while my male friends didn’t mind me being around when they played, they weren’t extremely interested in helping me learn or keep up. I felt I had other strengths, so I started carrying around a notebook even more than I already did. I started my fledgling forays into online fandom. And YuGiOh was a big part of the beginning of that.

I can’t remember posting any YuGiOh fic in particular, and I’m sure that if I had it would make me cringe now. What I do remember is reading some and also spending a lot of time lying on my bed, headphones plugged into a small purple stereo, listening to the first of the two American-released CDs with YuGiOh-inspired music on them. In particular, the last three tracks were pieces of music from the original score composed for the 4Kids dub, which is - for some reason - different from the original Japanese music.

During that time, I would fantasize and conjure my own YuGiOh plots in my head, most of which were focused on the Ancient Egyptian and more spooky, spiritual, and horror themes in the show. I was really fascinated with the reincarnation angle, though my understanding of and opinions on how that works have grown with time.

Years went by, and I didn’t think about YuGiOh much at all. Then, something happened in 2018. I don’t know what got in my head, but it was like all the joy I once found in thinking about the YuGiOh characters came back in a giddy conversation with my childhood best friend. Then, for a little while, it wouldn’t leave me alone.

I started writing for the fandom then, and after several detours, I’m trying to get back in the groove of it.

My approach to the tone of YuGiOh-fanning is that it’s a bit serious, but it’s also with a tongue placed in my cheek because of how incomprehensible or silly the plot can be on a meta level. Sometimes, it almost brings tears to my eyes by being so over-the-top about something that, in the real world, would make no sense at all. But the drama, in the context of the universe, somehow rings true.

I think that’s all owing to how most of the primary characters are just... really freaking great characters.

It has often puzzled me. Like, did Takahashi do all this layering on purpose? Is it really there, or did earnest fanon just make it seem like it? And, as a person, I am always here for a good fan-and-canon symbiosis.

This post is going to be, from here on, an effort to match the YuGiOh characters to the 9 Enneagram Personality Types. I am writing this for my own benefit as I continue to work on my pet YuGiOh fanfiction project, It’s Always Sunny in Domino City, which is a mixture of YGOTAS-vibes-and-concepts taken seriously and a sincere take on fanfiction for the actual canon. It’s dramedy about a sizeable chunk of the main cast a few years post-canon with some canon divergence such as the Memory World arc not yet and possibly never-happening. If that sounds like something you’d like, I would humbly request you check it out!

Either way, this will be an in-depth character analysis cheatsheet for all of the characters above, based on my observations, opinions, and feelings. I invite discussion, but it’s fine if we need to agree to totally disagree!

If you are interested and enjoy what’s below the Read More and in the coming second post, then you are welcome to utilize the character analyses to aid you in your own fanwork!

Enneagram

What is Enneagram, and why am I using it?

Enneagram is a personality categorization system that one might compare to the somewhat better-known MBTI. However, in the words of excellent writing-advice YouTuber, Abbie Emmons:

MBTI shows us how we behave.

Enneagram shows us what we believe.

I will be referencing Abbie’s video Using The ENNEAGRAM To Write CONFLICTED CHARACTERS and her free Enneagram-cheatsheet, available in the description of the linked video. Whether it’s before you continue reading or after, if you’re interested in writing, I would highly recommend you check out her channel!

The Enneagram system has nine basic personality types that overlap and interact in really interesting ways. It is not a hard science, and it’s not a horoscope. Instead, it’s supposed to be “based on conventional wisdom and modern psychology.” All I can say is that with every set of characters I’ve tried it with, it works! Once you get the hang of it, it feels kind of like ~✰~magic~✰~!

Below, I will list Abbie’s simplified definitions of each of the personality types, in order:

Type 1: The Reformer

The Rational, Idealistic Type:

Principled, Purposeful, Self-Controlled, and Perfectionistic

Basic Fear: Of being corrupt/evil, defective

Basic Desire: To be good, to have integrity, to be balanced

Key Motivations: Want to be right, to strive higher and improve everything, to be consistent with their ideals, to justify themselves, to be beyond criticism so as not to be condemned by anyone.

Type 2: The Helper

The Caring, Interpersonal Type:

Generous, Demonstrative, People-Pleasing, and Possessive

Basic Fear: Of being unwanted, unworthy of being loved

Basic Desire: To feel loved

Key Motivations: Want to be loved, to express their feelings for others, to be needed and appreciated, to get others to respond to them, to vindicate their claims about themselves.

Type 3: The Achiever

The Success-Oriented, Pragmatic Type:

Adaptable, Excelling, Driven, and Image-Conscious

Basic Fear: Of being worthless

Basic Desire: To feel valuable and worthwhile

Key Motivations: Want to be affirmed, to distinguish themselves from others, to have attention, to be admired, and to impress others.

Type 4: The Individualist

The Sensitive, Introspective Type:

Expressive, Dramatic, Self-Absorbed, and Temperamental

Basic Fear: That they have no identity or personal significance

Basic Desire: To find themselves and their significance (to create an identity)

Key Motivations: Want to express themselves and their individuality, to create and surround themselves with beauty, to maintain certain moods and feelings, to withdraw to protect their self-image, to take care of emotional needs before attending to anything else, to attract a "rescuer."

Type 5: The Investigator

The Intense, Cerebral Type:

Perceptive, Innovative, Secretive, and Isolated

Basic Fear: Being useless, helpless, or incapable

Basic Desire: To be capable and competent

Key Motivations: Want to possess knowledge, to understand the environment, to have everything figured out as a way of defending the self from threats from the environment.

Type 6: The Loyalist

The Committed, Security-Oriented Type:

Engaging, Responsible, Anxious, and Suspicious

Basic Fear: Of being without support and guidance

Basic Desire: To have security and support

Key Motivations: Want to have security, to feel supported by others, to have certitude and reassurance, to test the attitudes of others toward them, to fight against anxiety and insecurity.

Type 7: The Enthusiast

The Busy, Variety-Seeking Type:

Spontaneous, Versatile, Acquisitive, and Scattered

Basic Fear: Of being deprived and in pain

Basic Desire: To be satisfied and content—to have their needs fulfilled

Key Motivations: Want to maintain their freedom and happiness, to avoid missing out on worthwhile experiences, to keep themselves excited and occupied, to avoid and discharge pain.

Type 8: The Challenger

The Powerful, Dominating Type:

Self-Confident, Decisive, Willful, and Confrontational

Basic Fear: Of being harmed or controlled by others

Basic Desire: To protect themselves (to be in control of their own life and destiny)

Key Motivations: Want to be self-reliant, to prove their strength and resist weakness, to be important in their world, to dominate the environment, and to stay in control of their situation.

Type 9: The Peacemaker

The Easygoing, Self-Effacing Type:

Receptive, Reassuring, Agreeable, and Complacent

Basic Fear: Of loss and separation

Basic Desire: To have inner stability, "peace of mind"

Key Motivations: Want to create harmony in their environment, to avoid conflicts and tension, to preserve things as they are, to resist whatever would upset or disturb them.

Now that you’ve seen all those, what do you think your favorite character is? In YuGiOh or anything else! It works great for original characters and even yourself and your loved ones.

The actual Character Profiles will be in coming post(s), but continue reading if you want me to explain more about how and why the Enneagram is a great personality typing system. #nonspon, or whatever.

The Enneagram Chart

Now, you could just go to the Enneagram Institute’s page on How the System Works, but below I’ll cut it down to only the parts I’m interested in and explain those in a way that helps me.

Unlike in astrology or MBTI, which are both more restrictive in different ways, the relative position of each type matters a bit on the Enneagram chart, because it can be used to visualize a lot of things about a person!

The Basic Chart

The Types are shown in a clockwise fashion with “1″ in the 1 o’clock position on an analog clock. The interior lines mean things, but I have trouble reading it without further delineation.

Centers of Response

Below are two small charts, displayed side-by-side. (If it’s too small, try right-click, open in new tab!)

The chart on the left shows the three “centers.” The “centers” indicate the first ‘processing language’ a person would use to respond to stimuli.

Type 8, Type 9, and Type 1 respond first based on instinct (primal, gut-feeling). If you want to go Freudian, this is from the id.

Type 2, Type 3, and Type 4 respond first based on feelings (social or personal desires, the heart). If you want to go Freudian, this is from the ego.

Type 5, Type 6, and Type 7 respond first based on thoughts (analytical rather than emotional, the head). If you want to go Freudian, this is from the superego.

Remember that, of course, every single type and person engages their instincts, their emotions, and their thoughts at different times and to different degrees, and some of these are learned or changed behaviors. This is about what their innate drive toward that would be.

Likewise, the same “centers” can also be used for the chart on the right. You will notice that all three of these are defined by what is typically considered a negative emotion. This is because this is about a person’s instinctive, not particularly conscious emotional response when they are backed into a corner and deprived of something that is core to the needs of their personality type.

Type 8, Type 9, and Type 1 tend to respond to a threat to their psychic well-being with anger/rage.

Type 2, Type 3, and Type 4 tend to respond to a threat to their psychic well-being with shame.

Type 5, Type 6, and Type 7 tend to respond to a threat to their psychic well-being with fear.

Stress vs. Growth

We all know that there are times when a person isn’t acting like themselves, for better or for worse. Usually, “You’re not acting like yourself,” means that a person is behaving badly. Of course, it’s way easier to withdraw and bristle and defend rather than growing in the midst of adversity. However, it is certainly possible to experience character growth in response to experiences, good and bad. Unlike a lot of other personality typing schemes, the Enneagram has a way to display and predict what stress and growth do to a person.

The Enneagram never suggests that any Type is an island unto itself. Every person contains multitudes, but a person’s Type is likely to remain relatively stable throughout their lives, once they have had a chance to develop any personality at all. This means that when a person is stressed or growing that they do not become the type they emulate. Rather, they are more highly expressing that aspects of their personality that reflect those drives and desires but in a way that is either fraught, sickly, or unwell (in the case of stress), or aspirational, flying-high, and incorporating the hard-lessons into who a person is going to be going forward (in the case of growth). The latter, especially, isn’t a sustainable mode, while a stressed person can become more entrenched in their bad habits and defensive coping mechanisms.

Stress

Note the white, directional arrows. Each number has an arrow point pointing to it and an arrow leading away from it. The point indicates that this is the stress manifestation for the Type at the origin of that arrow. The origin of each arrow indicates the Type being described.

Confused? Let me finally give you a YuGiOh example.

When I was trying to identify the Types of the characters, defining Marik was difficult, because he has a “Yami,” or Dark Side, which has its own personality and will but which is not its own separate soul or person than Marik himself. Rather, it’s a kind of fantasy/magic-assisted personality splintering where Yami Marik is a full manifestation of the negative traits Marik needed to embody to survive.

So, for reference:

When stressed, Type 1 behaves more like Type 4. 

When stressed, Type 2 behaves more like Type 8.

When stressed, Type 3 behaves more like Type 9.

When stressed, Type 4 behaves more like Type 2.

When stressed, Type 5 behaves more like Type 7.

When stressed, Type 6 behaves more like Type 3.

When stressed, Type 7 behaves more like Type 1.

When stressed, Type 8 behaves more like Type 5.

When stressed, Type 9 behaves more like Type 6.

Alternatively, you can use these sequences to follow the stress lines:

1-4-2-8-5-7-1

9-6-3-9

Growth

Think of the above-explanation in reverse.

The sequence:

1-7-5-8-2-4-1

9-3-6-9

As a Type 1 grows, they incorporate more positive traits of Type 7.

As a Type 2 grows, they incorporate more positive traits of Type 4.

As a Type 3 grows, they incorporate more positive traits of Type 6.

As a Type 4 grows, they incorporate more positive traits of Type 1.

As a Type 5 grows, they incorporate more positive traits of Type 8.

As a Type 6 grows, they incorporate more positive traits of Type 9.

As a Type 7 grows, they incorporate more positive traits of Type 5.

As a Type 8 grows, they incorporate more positive traits of Type 2.

As a Type 9 grows, they incorporate more positive traits of Type 3.

Wings

The final thing to know about the Enneagram chart for my purposes is about wings. The wing of your personality traits accounts for the complementary and contradictory aspects of your personality. They are the inconsistencies that make you human, predicted and jumped in. Typically, a person is not thought to have both possible wings but one or the other. A wing is one of the two adjacent Types to yours, the number before, or the number after, and it is annotated, for example:

Type 1, Wing 2: 1w2

Type 1, Wing 9: 1w9

Link to Part 2 Here!

[echoghost1]

Happy 10 years to Teen Wolf (the tv show)!

So my One True Fandom is Danny Phantom but that won't stop me from dabbling in a crossover from time to time.

I thought of this crossover between Danny Phantom and Teen Wolf and when I was doing a bit of research I found out when the anniversary was and I just had to make sure the first chapter was ready by that date, aka today June 5th!

Story Title: Under the Full Moon

Summary: The Nemeton has just been reawakened and Beacon Hills is all the more attractive for the supernatural creatures of the world. Scott and his friends thought they had more than enough on their plate and then Lydia finds a boy in the woods. Something about him seems off, but they aren't sure what it is.

All they know for sure is that his name is Danny Fenton, and he's a long way from home.

Chapter Title: Meet Me In The Woods

Word Count for chapter 1: 1,653

Anywho, you can read it on AO3 or down below the cut!

Lydia sighed as she shut the cupboard door. How they had already run out of dog food for Prada, she had no idea. She could have sworn her mom had just restocked when she had gone shopping last.

With nothing better to do, she decided she may as well pick some up herself. She left a quick note for her mom on the fridge before heading out.

It didn’t take long to get to her destination but when she got out of the car she froze.

This was not the parking lot for the pet store. She was parked on the side of the road surrounded by woods.

“Not again,” she whined as she stalled near her car.

She really didn’t want to find another dead body. She was so tired of finding dead bodies. Since she was alone she allowed herself to let out her frustration by stomping in place, like a toddler throwing a silent tantrum. Then she took a breath to compose herself, dug her phone out of her purse pocket, and held it like a lifeline before heading off into the forest towards whatever it was she was called to find.

She was thankful it was still daylight, even if the sun was starting to set now. The forest wasn’t quite so ominous in the light. The trees broke way into a clearing and she hesitated again.

She bit her lip wondering who she should call. Normally she wouldn’t hesitate to call her friends, but they were having a rough time right now with the whole recently dead sacrifice thing. Then again, she could call the police. Now that Sheriff Stilinski knew about the supernatural he’d realize the importance of finding a body here off all places.

Although, he had just been here too.

She took a few steps closer to the body. If she was going to call this in, she should at least be able to get close enough to give a description. It’s not like this was her first time.

She got as close as she dared, slowly circling the area for any clues while she did her best not to touch anything.

The body appeared to be of a young teen boy, it was hard to tell how old exactly with his youthful face and because of how he was laying, curled up in the fetal position. With how he was positioned perfectly in the center of the large stump it reminded her too much of an offering being made. And considering where they were and what had recently happened here, that wasn’t exactly a good sign. She was glad there wasn’t any blood at least. Actually, now that she was looking, he didn’t appear to be hurt at all. If anything, he looked like he was sleeping.

She stopped moving and just watched him for a moment.

Part of his dark hair that hung in front of his face fluttered momentarily.

She held her breath and listened.

He sighed.

She dropped her phone and covered her mouth to keep herself from screaming. He was alive?! She found someone who was still alive? How? Why? Who was this kid?

She had to wake him up.

“Hey. Hey kid,” she called gently not wanting to startle him too much.

He groaned in his sleep and rolled over, “five more minutes.” he mumbled.

Did he just-? Did he think he was sleeping in his bed at home? How was that even comfortable?

She marched around the stump and carefully made her way around the gnarled roots so she could get in close, “I am not your mom and you seriously should not be sleeping here!”

He mumbled something unintelligible but she ignored him and reached for his arm instead.

“Would you just wake up already?”

The instant she touched him, his eyes shot open and he sat up ramrod straight. His fists went up in a protective fighting pose which made him come across looking more frightened than frightening.

She carefully stood up doing her best to keep her balance and not move too fast and scare him more.

“Hey there, you okay?” she asked cautiously.

He slowly looked around taking in the woods around them, checking himself over for injuries, before finally looking down to see what he was sitting on.

She used his momentary distraction to quickly look for her phone while doing her best to keep him in her sights.

“I think so?”

She slowly walked toward her displaced phone and picked it up.

He froze when he saw her move and she made a show of being non-threatening, “I just dropped my phone when I saw you is all.” She held it up and wiggled it in her hand, and smiled when he relaxed.

“Where are we?” he asked looking around the open area with nothing but confusion on his face.

“The woods just outside Beacon Hills,” she said matter of factly. “Did you need a ride home? I’m Lydia by the way.”

“Hi, Lydia. I’m Danny.” He was quiet for a moment, taking his time with something before he spoke again, “I’m probably going to sound really dumb right now, but,” he reached up and rubbed the back of his neck as he gave her a nervous smile, “Where exactly is Beacon Hills? Like State-wise?”

She blinked at him a couple of times. That certainly was an odd question. “California.”

He blanched, “California?!”

“Not from around here then?”

“No!” He pulled his knees up to his chest and threaded his fingers into his unruly dark hair, “I can’t be in California! I can’t!”

“Hey, it’s okay,” she tried to console but that only made him panic more.

“It’s not okay!” he pulled his hands free and he looked about one second away from bursting into tears, “I don’t know how I got here!”

Well, that wasn’t good.

Nothing about this situation was good or made any sense at all. But they weren’t going to figure anything out if they just stayed here. “My car is just back there,” she pointed in the general direction of the road, “why don’t we get out of these woods and we can figure this out and get you on the way home?”

He was still breathing too hard but he did seem receptive to the idea at least, “yeah I guess hanging out in the woods at night isn’t the best idea.”

“It really isn’t.”

He started to scoot off of the stump but paused, “Is it really that dangerous out here?” His eyebrows rose as he realized something, “Oh wait! California is the state with the bear flag, right? Are there really bears here?” he asked in alarm but then dropped his voice to more of a whisper and added, “I thought it was a metaphor.”

Lydia sighed, “I’m not worried about bears, Danny.”

“Oh.” his shoulders slumped and he picked at the hem of his faded NASA t-shirt, “so what are you worried about?”

She wanted to say, the copious amounts of were-people, but instead settled on, “I just don’t want to be out here at night.”

“Are you afraid of the dark?”

“What? No!”

“Because it’s cool if you are! I won’t make fun of you for it!”

“I’m not afraid of the dark, Danny,” she restated firmly.

“Okay, okay. Sorry. Forget I said anything.” He held his hands up in surrender.

“Are you afraid of the dark?” that might explain why he was so adamant about it?

“What?” he waved her off with a smirk, “No, that’d be silly.”

She put her hand on her hip and stared at him, “it’s okay if I’m afraid of the dark but not you?” if this was a gender thing she would kick his scrawny little ass.

He immediately figured out her line of thinking and back-peddled so hard, “Oh no! I didn’t mean it like that! I just- I uh,” he stammered for a bit before he was able to find the words again, “I just forgot you didn’t know me that well.”

“You forgot we just met?”

“I just mean that,” he stopped mid-sentence to think, “How do I explain this?” he asked himself, “Oh! Okay, so I didn’t mean it like ‘I’m a big strong guy and you’re a weak silly woman’. That would be awful and super incorrect. You could probably kick my butt into next week without even trying!”

Lydia smirked in approval.

“I just meant that it was silly to think that me, personally, being afraid of the dark was ridiculous. You see, I want to be an astronaut and space is like mostly darkness so it’d just be weird if I wanted to go to a place that was made up of something I was afraid of. It’d be like a fashion designer that was afraid of fabric.”

She laughed, “alright, apology accepted. Let’s go.”

He smiled back and used the edge of the stump to steady himself as he found his footing among the roots. “Man, this must have been a huge tree,” he said with his hands still holding on to the edge of the ancient oak.

Lydia stayed quiet and wondered if he was going to say anything else but instead he just pushed off the tree to stand up fully. He spun around to face her with a smile before it quickly vanished.

He swayed ever so slightly and held his hand up to his head, “I think I spun around too fast.” he took a couple of poorly coordinated steps towards her before he tripped over his own feet and landed hard on the dirt below.

She was on her knees next to him in an instant, “whoa, are you okay?”

“I don’t think I’m going to make it to the car,” he admitted as his words started to slur.

“Why not?”

“‘cause I’m gonna pass out,” he said before doing just that.

[misssophiachase]

You Make My Heart Smile

So, happy (belated) birthday, Tina @tnapki Your edits make me smile (pardon the pun) and I wanted to thank you for that and everything you bring to the fandom.

I based it on your GORGEOUS EDIT

I also made it about food cause it’s SO you. On AO3 HERE

Also thanks to the gorgeous Kait @an-awesome-wavve for being amazing and my part brainstorm, part beta, part researcher and part undercover partner in crime. 

Renowned Chef Klaus Mikaelson has a bad reputation until he meets food blogger Caroline Forbes and has no idea how to handle her or the unfamiliar feelings she evokes, especially that annoying ability to make him smile. 

3 May - Alinea - 1723 N. Halsted St, Chicago IL - 3pm

“I’m not going to do some stupid interview, you know I have other, more important things to do, right?”

Klaus Mikaelson didn’t do interviews. He didn’t need to because his accomplishments spoke for themselves. He hadn’t slogged away in kitchens since he was twelve and worked his way through culinary school and some of the best restaurants to waste his time. 

Being a world-renowned chef owning not one, but four, three-Michelin-starred restaurants across the globe meant he could do whatever the hell he wanted. 

But yet here she was running his life. 

Still. 

“Like yell at me? I mean, you’ve been doing that since we were little so I guess it’s nothing I haven’t experienced before. ”

“I knew I should have never mixed business and family,” he snapped. “You always throw our childhood back in my face as an excuse to insult my life choices.”

“Because it’s too easy not to,” she pouted, flicking a stray, blonde lock over her shoulder.  “And, while I am unfortunately related to your sorry ass, I am also your publicist and this interview is good for your career.”

“I don’t need publicity.”

“Correction, you do need publicity,” she argued, her fork now attacking the very veal he’d cooked with more fervour than needed. 

“Easy on the product, little sister,” Klaus growled, his protectiveness for his art on full display. 

“Oh, silly me I thought it was already dead,” she shot back, tartly. “And before you interrupted, I was going to say that, yes maybe you shouldn’t need publicity given your career achievements, but that was before you dropped an entree on the food critic’s lap from the Chicago Tribune, fired your sous chef in front of the entire restaurant and insulted Gordon Ramsey on national television.”

“Ramsey is a sell out, I stand by my comments,” he muttered. “The critic had it coming and, now you mention it, so too did that sorry excuse for a sous chef.”

“You realise people call you the angry chef, right?”

“Better than the naked chef I suppose.” He shrugged his shoulders indifferently. Klaus wasn’t in the business for gimmicks or to secure his own cooking program. He took his food seriously and there was nothing wrong with that. 

“At least people like Jamie Oliver,” she replied, arching her eyebrows knowingly. “Anyway, there’s no point in arguing because she’ll be here in five minutes.”

“Please tell me you didn’t just schedule an interview without my permission?”

1717 N. Halsted St, 3:10pm

“What’s with the expression of impending doom, Care Bear?” He asked, lugging his camera equipment as they walked up the block toward Alinea. 

“What have I told you about calling me that?”

“Not to do it but it’s too fun not to, Care Bear.” Given his general maturity level, Caroline decided it was a losing battle and she had more important things on her mind. 

“Anyway, it’s not doom,” she muttered. “It’s just the overwhelming desire not to do this interview but given I don’t want to get fired and also pay my rent, there’s no other option.”

“Is someone afraid of the angry chef?”

“Oh, puh-lease, I’m not afraid. Although, I might not be able to bite my tongue if he decides to insult me like he did Gordon Ramsey.”

Caroline wasn’t one to judge but his indiscretions were well-known and well-documented. Although, chefs with egos weren’t an entirely new phenomenon to the industry or to Caroline given interviewing them was her job.

“You and I both know Ramsey deserved that dressing down, if anything Mikaelson earned my respect that day.” Caroline couldn’t argue with that. 

Although this one was another kind of beast. 

The effortlessly attractive kind. 

For Caroline, this was an unsettling prospect. Until she reminded herself why she was here in the first place. 

Caroline loved food. Sometimes, she thought, more than life itself. 

So, when she became a food blogger after graduating with a journalism degree from Northwestern, it wasn’t a surprise. She was currently the senior blogger at popular food blog Delicious. 

“You love food and writing about it,” Was Enzo reading her mind? “How about instead of focusing on the negative, remember that this will be your biggest interview yet. Think about all of the exposure this will garner.”

The upper echelons of Delicious had decided that an interview with Klaus Mikaelson would be a big scoop. Caroline was all for interviewing chefs about their food and the passion behind it but she knew her editor wanted something less about his craft and more about his bad boy reputation.  

“Yes, but I want to write about food, not produce tabloid fodder.”

“Just think, once you do this then maybe you’ll have enough of a following to start your own blog and write what you want and not what someone tells you to do.”

“Mmmm, you do have a point.”

“Of course I do because Enzo knows everything. Also, take me with you because you’d be lost without me, sweetcheeks.”

“Third person, huh? That ego of yours knows no bounds, Lorenzo.”

“You know it, Care Bear,” he joked, flashing his most dazzling smile. “Well, looks like we’re here.”

“Looks like it,” she murmured, noting the intimidating sign overhead and wondering what she’d gotten herself into. “Here goes nothing.”

3:15pm

“Caroline Forbes?” 

“You must be Rebekah and this is my photographer Lorenzo St John.”

Klaus, who’d been throwing a temper tantrum not one minute ago, found himself looking up into the blue eyes of one Caroline Forbes. Suddenly, all of the white noise of the moment fell away and it was just the two of them in the room together and the blonde in question was looking at him expectantly. 

It was paralysing. 

But good paralysing he decided. 

“Nik?” Rebekah questioned. Now they were both looking at him. Had he zoned out and not realised it?  Well, if so, this was all kinds of embarrassing. “Caroline is the senior blogger for Delicious and she’s here for that interview, you know the one we talked about earlier?”

Yeah, ten minutes earlier, he thought to himself doing everything he could not to bite back in front of the new arrival.   

“It’s nice to meet you Mr Mikaelson, I have to say I’m a big fan of your…”  

“Look, it’s not going to be possible, I have to prep for dinner service,” he lied, although regretted it immediately when he noticed her expression. Klaus wasn’t used to being nice, it wasn’t in his DNA and usually it didn’t bother him. 

Until now. 

Klaus decided to blame it on the foreign feelings she was causing. As soon as he got some distance between them it would be fine, especially that vanilla scent he couldn’t ignore given it was infiltrating his first line of defence.

Klaus liked women, in fact he slept with many when his busy schedule permitted, but that was sex and nothing else. Just the way he liked it, easy and unemotional. 

“Why don’t we multitask then? I’m happy to help. ” Her voice was light and melodic. Klaus was hoping it wasn’t going to sound so enticing. He also wasn’t expecting that response. “I worked in a restaurant kitchen for years, I can do dishes, polish cutlery and peel a mean potato and an onion, well almost without crying.”

Why was he buoyed by that ridiculous statement and increasingly trying not to flash her a goofy smile? 

Klaus didn’t smile. He just didn’t. Ever. 

This wasn’t how he saw his day going at all. He was going to kill Rebekah. Before he could reply, the current subject of his ire spoke. 

“That sounds like a fantastic idea,” she grinned. “How about Lorenzo and I make ourselves scarce then?” 

“It’s actually Enzo, darling, you sound a bit too much like my mother and my oppressive boss Care Bear here.” 

Klaus hadn’t even realised there was someone else in the room up until this point but it was clear Caroline wasn’t too impressed by his nickname or the oppressive part. Maybe they had more in common than he thought? 

Care Bear.  Klaus thought it was adorable. Then he could feel it, that idiotic urge to smile again. 

Before he could object again, Rebekah had made a quick exit with the photographer and she was just standing there. Klaus could feel the awkward tension between them and knowing he’d caused it wasn’t helping matters. But he didn’t know any other way to act. 

Then the words he’d struggled with just tumbled out. 

“How do you feel about fish?”

Not the most suave topic or question but this was his ‘uncomfort’ zone. 

“Depends on the context.”

“The context?”

“I mean, if you think I can clean, fillet and debone a fish, you’ve obviously overestimated my cooking talents.”

Klaus had to practically eat the smile that was threatening to appear.  Again. 

“Everyone has to start somewhere and get their hands a bit dirty, otherwise what’s the point?” He advised. “But, if you don’t want to then…”

“Oh, I never back away from a challenge, chef,” she promised. 

Again, the pesky smile was hovering just beneath the surface. 

Leading her towards the kitchen, Klaus told himself that preparing a fish was definitely going to keep his emotions at bay and also block out that perfume which was throwing him off balance. 

4:45pm

“Why do I feel like this was a ploy to distract me from my interview?” Caroline asked, dipping the fish into egg wash and then flour as instructed by her cooking mentor for the day.. 

This was not how she saw her day going. It was surreal to say the least. This guy was supposed to be an ogre but Caroline was realising he was something else entirely. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he shot back. “But you filleted that fish like a professional, maybe you’ve missed your true calling?”

“I suppose I had a semi-good teacher,” she admitted wryly. 

“Wow, tell me what you really think, Forbes.”

Caroline was trying not to to get too caught up in the moment but Klaus Mikaelson had challenged every judgment she’d ever harboured about the temperamental chef.  He’d been unusually kind and patient.

The one thing she’d noticed was that his overall demeanour didn’t match his expression. 

He didn’t smile.

Not once. 

A few times, Caroline could swear it was close or maybe she was just imagining it?

“So, why do you like food?” It was a question she wasn’t expecting. Especially seeing as she was the interviewer and him her subject. 

“Isn’t that what I’m supposed to be asking you?” He was silent for a moment, almost like he was contemplating it. “But I get the impression you don’t like that question much?”

“I’d much prefer to hear your story first, call it a warm-up.” Clearly he was nervous and Caroline was happy to oblige if it helped. 

“My grandmother,” she smiled knowingly, visions of her nana filling her head. “When I was younger I’d go to her house most weekends and we’d cook together. She could make anything and everything. She died last year and it’s been tough without her but at least I still have those memories.”

Caroline didn’t mean to get personal, especially with the so-called “angry chef” but for some reason she felt nothing but comfort in his presence, even if he didn’t smile. 

“What was her specialty?” 

“Banana cream cheesecake,” she smiled, the taste of it rushing back in all its delicious glory. 

“Hard to beat,” he murmured. “Have you ever eaten a Bananas Foster? My restaurant in New Orleans does a modern version over flame.  According to my maitre’d there’ve apparently been a few proposals over dessert.”

“Over your dessert?”

“Someone sounds dubious. Let’s just say it’s fireworks but without the danger. Well, unless the tablecloth is accidentally set on fire but the fire department down there are pretty good first responders I understand.”

“I just didn’t take you for the romantic dessert type.”

“I suppose there’s a lot of things you don’t know about me then.”

“So, why do you like food then?”

“Well, of course I like food, I wouldn’t be a chef otherwise,” he shared, moving swiftly in behind her and taking the fillets from her hand and placing them in the hot pan, Caroline was trying not to react to his touch or that welcoming and heady mixture of sandalwood, spices and soap . “But one interview isn’t going to even begin to answer that question.” 

He had a point and Caroline knew it. How could you sum up what food meant to you in one interview?  

“So, what exactly are you trying to say? I do have a deadline to meet.”

“How about we schedule a follow-up interview tomorrow morning? Dinner service is imminent and if you stay I’m going to have to ask you to do more than fillet a fish. My pastry chef Lucien is also very needy, requires constant gratification, and you don’t want to be on the receiving end of that.”

“Not gonna lie I’m intrigued and by that I’m talking about Lucien. Did you insult his choux pastry or something?”

 “Not if I want my patrons to eat dessert this century. But, if you insist on staying, there’s a whole pile of onions there with your name on it and we can call it even.”

“You wouldn’t dare.” He raised his left eyebrow by way of response. Caroline was trying to ignore just how good he looked, even if there was no smile forthcoming. 

“Fine,” she conceded. “Tomorrow morning but that’s it otherwise my editor might fire me.”

“Great, let’s make it 10:30, you can poach an egg, right? And I also expect extra crispy bacon.”

Caroline knew she was possibly in trouble and not because he was tasking her with cooking. Enzo would also parrot that particular concern but she couldn’t help herself. 

Today was probably the best day she’d had in a long time and she didn’t want it to end. She told herself that she’d return tomorrow and get her interview, that’s all she wanted from him, right?

4 May - Alinea - 1723 N. Halsted St, Chicago IL - 11am

Klaus Mikaelson was in uncharted territory. 

That’s what scared him the most. 

Caroline Forbes was seated across from him at his best, window table in jeans and a cream sweater, her plate empty and a very full but satisfied look on her face. Klaus decided to add that to his favourite expressions file. It was fast filling up and he’d only known her for 20 hours. 

He wasn’t this guy. 

At all. 

But she’d consumed his thoughts since their first meeting and all night through dinner service and beyond. He’d barely slept, but it wasn’t a bad thing. He’d been looking forward to seeing her as soon as she left. 

The only problem? Not smiling because it was that difficult when she was in his presence. He had his reasons of course. 

“So, why do you love food? And no arguments given I poached a mean egg and also let you have a reprieve yesterday.”

“The bacon could use some work, just saying.”

“Well, you’re more than welcome to cook itself yourself, Mikaelson. Are you always such a critic? Last time I checked that was my job. Also enough with the distractions. So?”

“My mum,” he admitted quietly, even if it took a minute or so to verbalise. For some reason her opening up about her grandmother had filled him with courage. He didn’t do feelings or talk about them for that matter. “She cooked with me practically from birth until she got too sick last year.” 

Those last words wobbled, it was unfortunate as it was expected. He’d struggled for a long time and losing his mother had been difficult.  

“What was her specialty?” Klaus recognised the question he’d asked himself yesterday, but the fact her hand squeezed his at the same time filled him with the confidence and warmth he needed. 

“Rosemary braised lamb shanks, it was her favourite protein. I’ve tried to pay homage on all my menus since.”

‘So, that explains the Saddle of Elysian Fields Farm Lamb with Babaganoush, Romano Beans and Harissa Jus on your menu then?”

“You’ve done your homework clearly?” 

“That and the fact it’s the first time I’ve seen you smile, and I have to say it’s really nice.” 

Klaus didn’t even realise he’d let it slip but suddenly it didn’t matter anymore. He didn’t want to hide it, not with her. 

“She used to tell me to smile all the time because I was too serious, you could say it’s something I’ve battled with ever since she passed.”

“All the more reason to smile, even just to introduce those dimples to the general public. Has anyone ever told you they should come with a warning?”

“No, but more than happy to discuss further.”

“If only, but I have to get going.” Klaus felt almost deflated that she was leaving as quickly as she’d arrived. Maybe he’d shared too much. “Deadlines and all that. But if you could just consult the email I sent confirming the details of our interview that would be great.”

Klaus felt disillusioned, he’d opened himself up to someone and she was running away.  She was out the door before he could even move from his seat. Checking his emails was the last thing he felt like doing, but his hand went to work on his cell checking it anyway and dreadfully waiting for its contents.

“As of three minutes ago, I no longer working for Delicious. It wanted a story I wasn’t prepared to write. I like your smile and dimples too much and I also want a Bananas Foster.”

His chest constricted as he read each word and his grin was unmistakable.  It didn’t take long for him to reply.

“You make my heart smile.”

Tabloids would report months later that famed food blogger Caroline Forbes married famed chef Klaus Mikaelson in rural England after proposing over a dessert of Bananas Foster in New Orleans. 

[misterewrites]

Bonding (Kainora week)

Hey everyone! E here and with a special oneshot ! My friend is help running kainora week over here @kainora-week and I agreed to at least write one thing for her so it is day 3: Formal Wear.

Set between season 3 and 4, Jinora is asked to make an appearance at a Earth Kingdom Noble party as a part of a deal to ensure they turn over power to Prince Wu when the chaos finally is under controlled. Kai is tagging along and isn't exactly thrilled about the idea.

That's it for me, almost done with the next underground chapter but till then enjoy, have a great week, stay safe, wash your hands and wear your masks!

if you want a easier place to find and read it, check it out over here at https://archiveofourown.org/works/30242472

“Are you mad at me? This has to be some kind of punishment. Some kind of cruel torture for all the scams I ran. Mako put you up to this, didn’t he? Jinora how could you?!”

Jinora let out a tired sigh “Kai, you’re being more dramatic than Ikki.”

The master airbender gently fixed her boyfriend’s collar, loosening it to allow her fellow airbender actually breath.

Kai took a deep breath, ignoring the burning sensation he felt in his cheeks “More dramatic than Ikki? Now you’re just trying to hurt me. Sorry!” he rose his hands in surrender at Jinora’s raised eyebrow “I-I just never dealt with this.” he gestured to his formal Earth Kingdom Attire.

“I know” Jinora agreed softly, smoothing out the wrinkles in the clothing “But you’re going have to. At least for tonight.”

“I don’t see why I have to go.” Kai fumed “It’s just a stupid party for a bunch of crusty nobles.”

“This is more than that.” Jinora’s voice became firm “With the chaos in the Earth Kingdom, alliances are important. These nobles are agreeing to turn over their power to Prince Wu when Kurvira finally calms everything down.”

Kai scoffed, rolling his eyes with distaste “Rich people giving something up willingly? And I’m a pink platypus bear.”

Kai’s blush worsened as Jinora playfully pinched his cheeks “My cute platypus bear and now you’re pink.”

“So.” Kai replied quickly, trying to hide his embarrassment “Is your dad okay with this? Me and you on this mission. Alone. Together.”

Jinora gave a halfhearted shrug “If he’s got a problem with this, then he’s got a problem. There’s no real option. With all the turmoil in the Earth Kingdom, we’re already stretched thin. Dad needed an airbending master here to show we support this show of unity and since he’s busy trying to negotiate with the spirits in Republic City, it’s me. It isn’t like we have another master just laying about.”

“And me? Why am I here?”

“Because” Jinora answered simply “Having someone born and raised in the Earth Kingdom might keep the nobles calm.”

Kai was not convinced by that response “You’re aware I hate the Earth Kingdom, right? You’re really telling me no one else was available? Not even Otaku?”

Jinora gave sly grin “Well, I didn’t exactly tell anyone else.”

“I’m a terrible influence on you.”

“And I’m a positive one for you. Balances out. As all things should be.”

“And I’m guessing he made you promise no romantic hijinks on this trip?”

“I made no so such promise.”

Kai cracked a smile “Alright, maybe it won’t be as bad as I think it’ll be.”

-----

“It’s worse.” Kai huffed, eyeing the giggling group of noblewomen with disdain.

Kai knew it was going to be a terrible time the moment they were announced to the rest of the party: Everyone spared them a single glimpse then proceeded to ignore them.

“Not a very friendly bunch, huh?” Jinora murmured awkwardly.

Kai scoffed dismissively “Don’t take it personally. They’re jerks to everyone.”

“I guess…”

Kai glanced to his girlfriend, the frown on her lips tugging at his heartstrings. He yawned loudly, knocking Jinora out of her stupor. She tilted her head quizzically at him and flushed a bright red when he wrapped an arm around her lovingly.

“Kai! What are you doing?! There’s people around.”

He couldn’t help but smile at how easily he could make his airbending master and general badass girlfriend turn a lovely shade of red.

“You can’t sulk, that’s my job. You’re the eternal sunshine ball remember?”

“True….” Jinora replied though unconvinced by Kai’s words.

Kai nudged her softly “Really. You shouldn’t take these people seriously. Most of them made their money by just existing, living off their family’s legacy and doing nothing with it. But you?”

Jinora felt Kai’s hand slip into hers and give it a squeeze.

“You’re a master airbender.” Kai beamed with pride “You are the granddaughter of avatar and you didn’t just sit on his legacy. You’re changing the world, you’ve saved the world. You can talk to spirits and you make a cute spirit projection thingy.”

Jinora’s fake smile melted into a real one.

Kai’s cheeks were tinged with pink but he didn’t stop ��You have done amazing things, selfless things. Don’t let anyone make you feel lesser especially these plebes. I think we wasted enough of our time. We made our appearance and I think it’s safe to assume the nobles are going to keep their promise. They probably wanted to say they got an airbender to show up so they can boast to their friends.”

Before either of them could stand, the group of giggling noblewomen made their way over with a glint of familiarity in their gaze.

“You there!” The oldest one called, pointed at Kai as if he was an attraction at the zoo.

“It’s Kai.” He muttered with barely contained rage.

“Whatever.” She waved him off, uninterested “I’ve seen you before.”

“I doubt it.”

“Yes I have.” The woman insisted “I know have and since I’ve had the finest education, I know I’m right.”

Kai bit his tongue. This was an important mission and it was important to keep civil. Jinora should be proud of him given his usual response was to run away or throw an ill timed comment.

“You were a bus boy.” The noblewoman said with such certainty

“No. I doubt he’d have the hand eye coordination.” one of her friends sneered.

“And that hair?” the other chuckled cruelly “No one would’ve hired him.”

“True.” The leader replied coolly “But I know I’ve seen you somewhere. Somewhere embarrassing.”

“Kai…” Jinora whispered but he was too caught up keeping his rage in check to notice his girlfriend tugging at his sleeve.

“You were poor!” The noblewoman beamed cheerfully. She stood up proudly as if somehow her outburst was something of worth.

Kai’s cheeks burned brightly with a mixture of shame and rage but the trio paid him no mind.

“Yes.” The noblewoman continued, unaware of the rising tensions she had caused “You were out somewhere in the countryside. Some armpit little town daddy was forced to visit and dragged poor me along.”

Her lackeys cooed comfortingly.

“You were doing these little flips and tricks in hopes people would give you money. Of course you barely got a thing so naturally your clothes were just awful. No flair, no style. No wonder I didn’t recognize you. These fancy duds are nice but I’m guessing they’re borrowed. There is no way in a million years you could…”

“Stop it.”

Kai blinked, unsure he heard Jinora correctly. He never, ever in his several months knowing his girlfriend heard her speak with such a dangerous edge in her voice.

“What did you say?” The noblewoman turned up her nose, clearly offended at being interrupted “Do you know who I am? Who my father is?”

Jinora gave a false smile, its coldness sending chills down the trio’s spine.

“You missed the part where I cared.” she spoke with a steely calm “You will not disrespect my fellow airbender in this manner anymore.”

“Airbender?” The leader quizzically titled her head before realization dawn upon her “OH! You mean...him? And yourself?”

Jinora gestured to her traditional air nomad attire “So not only are you unnecessarily rude, you’re blind.”

“How dare...”

Jinora took a step forward, a vicious gust of wind trailing behind. The trio trembled under the sudden cool breeze.

“I understand you’ve lived a sheltered life.” Jinora spoke with the same cold smile “So I will say this once. There are more important things than your silly little shallow problems and the next time you think you can threaten me, I want you to remember I am not only an airbending master, I am the granddaughter of avatar Aang himself. It is my duty as an air nomad to enlighten and help people. Consider this your first lesson.”

Kai could feel his heartbeat speed up at the sight of his girlfriend, fierce and protective all for his sake.

Jinora held his hand tenderly as she motioned for them to leave “Come on Kai, let’s go have some real fun.”

“Yes sweetie.”

[meetthefantasticmrfox]

The Librarians

Summary: Jeremy Scalera (Jeremy sounds more natural than Janus...seriously who would name their kid Janus?! Sorry to anyone named that but you deserve better. JanICE does not count.) is the head librarian at Hawthorne Library and antisocial intellectual with a taste for being alone and silence. Logan Constell (short for constellation, not his actual last name in this fic) is strikingly similar. So what happens when these two antisocial and intelligent loners cross paths in an interview that was sure to change both their lonely souls.

Pairings: Loceit

Alternate Universes: Human Au, Vitiligo Au (Human! Janus Headcannon technically)

Warnings: Mentions of disabilities and a few mild swear words. A smidge of angst at the very end. Let me know if anything else needs to be added.

Hope you enjoy my dears!!

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Edit: Chapter 2 is here! The Librarians Chapter 2

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The Hawthorne Library was run by a bitter and short tempered know-it-all named Jeremy Scalera...He was exactly 5 foot 3 and 120lbs with a thin frame and even thinner shoulders. His skin was the color of milk chocolate but his smooth sweetness of skin was interrupted by a clash of white splotches scattering his body. Jeremy had been born with vitiligo which resulted in a crude nickname of ‘Dairy Cow’ all the way through his middle school years. This influenced him to hide as much skin as possible using gloves, scarves, and extensive wool jackets and sweaters. This wasn’t entirely odd since at the time he had lived in Minnesota and it was freezing all the damn time. Now he lived in Florida where you either were sweating or shirtless.

“Please let this be a quiet day...” He muttered as the door to the library slammed shut behind him. 

It was exactly 7 ‘o clock in the morning and the library was in need of opening. Jeremy was the only employee of the library and he practically lived there. Sure he still owns an apartment and everything, but he prefers the guaranteed silence at night with the library. His office had a small cot in it with a bathroom and a small kitchen fridge and a few counter-tops to hold his microwave, sink, and single cabinet. 

Jeremy’s morning consisted of walking down to the RelativiTea coffee shop down the street that was operated by one of Jeremy’s old classmates. One who hadn’t mocked him because he himself had a disability, Roman Sancleur had turret syndrome (is that right?). Jeremy might have even considered him a friend had they ever talked to each other than exchanging a coffee order.

“Morning Jeremy.” Roman said out of reflex. His fingers twitched every now and then along with the skin under his eyes, but that was more on the fact that Roman had had no sleep last night because he was too busy drinking coffee and teas left over from the day before and watching Disney movies. 

“Just the iced chocolate mocha today.” The librarian sighed and leaned on the counter. He always got here early to avoid the morning rush. 

Roman set a drink onto the counter already prepared.

“You’re too predictable Jerry. Why don’t you ever shake it up a bit?” Roman leaned over the counter getting a little too close for Jeremy to like. No romantic signs came from the barista, more so curiosity.

“First of all don’t call me ‘Jerry’ please, and second I like consistency. This doesn’t take too much out of my paycheck from the city and it’s tasteful.” Jeremy hissed and put a five dollar bill on the counter as he always did. The drink was actual $2.73 but he didn’t ever like change so Roman always got a pretty generous tip.

Jeremy walked out of the coffee shop without another word and entered back into his solitary space just a block away.

The head-librarian set down his coffee on the horseshoe desk in the center of the library and the jingle of his keys echoed.

“I hope I’m not intruding.” A smooth voice laced with calm sounded behind Jeremy and he jumped.

“Mother of damnation who the hell are you?!” The librarian spun around and gripped his hand on the can of pepper spray he kept on him at all times.

“I-I suggest no hostility, and I advise you keep your voice down...we are in a library after all.” The stranger raised his hands in defense. “I’m sorry to have startled you, but the door was unlocked and I assumed you were in your office.” The man was oddly calm despite the can of pepper spray aimed at him and the clearly hostile look in Jeremy’s eyes.

“My name is Logan Constell. I came to apply for a job here.” The presumed ‘Logan’ folded his hands behind his back and only then did Jeremy begin to notice his features.

Logan wore tight black framed square classes, a smooth black dress coat and a navy undershirt with a star-flecked tie across and brighter blue fabric making up the tie itself. His shoulders were broad and his chin sculpted almost so finely one could mistake him for a statue if he had been gray. 

Speaking of gray, his eyes were a brilliant icy blue-ish gray that sparked with intelligence Jeremy had never seen before. Then there was his hair, pitch black it seemed to be made of the dark matter of space itself. The lightness at which it was folded back and not a single sign of gel or any other product other than a mint smelling shampoo and conditioner. He was so put together with his black slacks and dress shoes to top everything off.

“It doesn’t make much...” Jeremy said steadily despite the rushing feeling running through his veins. He set the pepper spray down next to his coffee and Logan began to approach him which with every inch closer the head librarian’s heart beat a little quicker until it was skipping.

“I have no one to provide for but myself and my hydroponics garden.” Logan stated and held forward a piece of paper with a series of qualification statements and columns.

“I don’t need a resume...I just need you to answer a few questions.” Jeremy quickly said and slipped behind his horseshoe desk. 

“I would be happy to answer them.” Logan said blankly.

“As I would hope.” Jeremy glanced up at him as he sat down in the old roller chair with a creak. 

“Age?” He started.

“Twenty-Three years, seven months, and fifteen days.”

“Are you organized?”

“To a fault some might say.” Logan replied cooly.

“Do you have balance well on a 14 foot ladder?” Jeremy shot back.

“I’ve never tried, but I have a high pain tolerance and have been reported a fast healer.” 

“Then you’re hired.” Jeremy rose from his chair and stuck out his hand. Logan took it in a firm grip that shot sparks through Jeremy’s arm and heat shooting up his face then he let go and the sparks vanished.

“When do I start?” Logan’s eyes held the slightest hint of joyous feeling but it was masked behind the gray and blue storm.

“The library opens in five minutes which should be enough time to get your tag done.” Jeremy offered a smirk which was met with only the slightest twitch of the others lips and the flicker of those eyes casting over the librarians face.

~Time Skip~

It’d been three weeks since Logan had started working at Hawthrone and every glance or movement seemed to attract Jeremy’s attention. He had considered going to see a doctor at this point but the Library’s salary and the fact Jeremy didn’t have insurance wasn’t exactly ideal.

“Good morning Jeremy.” Logan said one day as he walked in. 

“Morning Lo.” The other responded calmly. This was about all that was exchanged by them verbally on most days.

The first three days at the library Logan had worn a simple silver band on his ring-finger then it had disappeared. Today seemed like an okay day to finally question his new employee about it.

“So...I noticed you stopped wearing the ring.” Jeremy said casually one day as he stocked the shelves. It was closing time and Logan was better at checking back in books than Jeremy.

“What ring?” Logan asked blankly, barely glancing up at the brown and tan head librarian.

“The silver band you wore the first three days you were here.” Jeremy clarified.

“I didn’t think it had any significance to my work here.”

“It doesn’t.” The conversation fell quiet for a few seconds before one of them spoke again.

“If you don’t feel comfortable with telling me it’s fine. It was just a silly question worth a bit of satisfied curiosity.” Jeremy said hurriedly as he started to ascend the ladder. The book he had in his left hand belonged at the top shelf.

“No...it’s just I don’t wish to make you uncomfortable or loose this job.” Logan rushed out.

“Why would I fire you? Or feel uncomfortable?” Jeremy asked slowly as he reached the fifth level.

“Because that ring was my tie to my ex-husband.” Logan said quietly, barely loud enough for the man on the ladder to hear.

“Oh...” There was a pause with only the sound of clicking keys and the steps of Jeremy climbing the ladder. “Well that’s nothing to ashamed of. Some people just don’t fit.” He quickly said after an extended period of time that felt longer than it should have and he reached the top and began moving books around to shelve the one in his hand.

“You’re not...going to judge me?” Logan seemed surprised.

“Well no. Who you choose to love is not up to me, and it’s not like I have anything against gays or bisexuals or any of the LGBTQ community. I myself am apart of it.” Jeremy reassured him and started climbing down slowly. The ladder rings dug into his worn shoes and hit against his old socks, further sinking into the bottom of his feet.

“Fascinating.” Logan muttered. Jeremy pretended not to hear and as silence once again claimed the room the sun began to send a orange glow over the dark gray carpeted floors of the house of books. Jeremy looked up to see the tangerine and apricot that now spilled through the windows like a waterfall to a lake. 

Jeremy didn’t stop his descend though and his foot caught on a ring, but before he could notice he slipped and fell. All the way from the seventh level down to Earth and before he hit the ground something snapped and pain rocketed through his left leg as black crowded his vision. Nothing existed except the abyss.

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AAAAAAaaaaaand that’s Chapter 1. If this chapter gets some love or I get bored then I’ll check out getting a Chapter 2. 

Until next time my Foxlings! <3 <3 <3

[shintorikhazumi]

A Warm Diana Chapter 6: Overheating

A/N: Seriously writing a couple of my story updates in the hospital since I’m watching my dad who got admitted. There’s no internet in his room so I post upon arriving at home. Finally having Christmas break after hellish exams haha. Sorry this took so long. I’m having a bit of writer’s block, tbh. One of the reasons I stopped writing for so long was because I lost the USB flashdrive with all the prepped plots and chapters and all that. It really was a huge blow to motivation. I legit cried over it. I also lost so much progress on other stories so… since some chapters had planned out info already in their files. I’m really trying to figure out how to move this story towards the end point. At this stage, it’s just full of Akko and Diana awkwardly trying to figure out their new dynamic, now that their relationship is clearly changing. Haha, I’m struggling with the plot. Still, trying my best. Btw, my headcanon is that Diana in love = OOC Diana so apologies in advance xD Not Beta read because I don’t have a beta reader now. I’ve been reading and correcting by myself, but I usually miss a few typos or mistakes, so again, sorry ‘bout that. Anyway.

Happy Holidays!

Enjoy?

~Shintori Khazumi

 A Warm Diana Chapter 6: Overheating

Relationships require balance.

At times, they are as if you were riding a seesaw, or maybe just tipping scales. At other times, they feel like a tug-o-war, and sometimes it’s more of a shoving and pushing motion.

Regardless of how you adjust the weights, you will find that it takes two sides to pull off that balance.

You may find that perfect balance now, or it may come millions of troubleshooting sessions later. It is different for everyone, it varies from person to person.

Your search may be painfully awkward, or incredibly sweet; filled with unspeakable joy, or unspeakable heartbreak. Just know, so long as you try, you’ll eventually stumble upon that sweet spot of balance tailor made for two.

Just keep working it out.

You’ll discover it soon.

And once you have it, a new chapter begins.

~0~0~0~0~

If you were to ask Akko for a list of her favorite things, broom rides and Diana would most probably top that list. She often related one with the other. There was just something about the heat of Diana’s back as they flew across the cooling horizon as the sun set, dropping the day’s temperature a few degrees down. While flying was one of the most magical experiences for Akko, she would easily argue that Diana was just as- if not, even more- magical than any spell that she could think of really.

Diana herself was magic.

With how her streaked blonde hair sparkled as the rays of the retreating sun hit it at just the right angle. How her eyes glimmered with mirth as she chanced a glance at Akko sitting behind her, arms encircling her waist. How her lips twitched upwards into a slight smile as their eyes met, how her body was soft to the touch, slender and felt really nice to hold- Akko should stop her train of thought right there.

Clearing her throat along with her mind, Akko silently urged Diana’s gaze forward with her hand gently pushing Diana’s cheek facing her away; slightly worried about the prodigy not looking where she was driving.

It only took her a few seconds to jump right back into her mental worship of the girl sitting in front of her. It wasn’t just a physical magnificence that Diana exuded. Her talent was far above and beyond a normal person’s, heck- even a normal witch’s. Despite this, she had the dedication to keep striving for more, to whole-heartedly pour her heart and will into improving, not for her own sake solely, but for others as well. Her mind was as attractive as her heart. Clever lines, smooth conversations, powerful words; Akko could listen to Diana go off all day. This was something she would never have imagined she’d think some time ago, remembering all the times she felt annoyed as Diana chided her, wishing the heiress would shut up.

It truly surprised her how she could change. How Diana could change. How they could change each other. What a wonder. What kind of spell had been cast on her? If love was a spell so powerful, no wonder so many tried to obtain it.

And at this moment, Akko thought Diana wielded it the best, casting her magic on Akko, making the brunette yearn and long for her, daily feeling her affections grow as she could only see more reasons to be in love with the Cavendish heiress.

Everything about her was just… magical.

And though magic and reality sometimes clashed in so many people’s opinions, Diana managed to make those two things work in a wondrous complement. Just another one of her many abilities, Akko admired.

“Akko.”

Ah… another thing she loved. Diana’s voice; the way she called out her name, the way her lips formed each syllable, how her tone caressed it in such a tender way it made her heart melt-

“Akko?”

“Ah- I… I-I just love your voice!” Realizing what she had just blurted out, Akko clapped her hands over her mouth, face a charming shade of red as, once more during their little broom ride, blue met red.

Diana blinked at the surprising confession, before her expression melted into one of teasing amusement. “Is that so?” Clearly, she was pleased. “Why thank you, Akko. I find myself quite fond of your voice as well.”

With her companion rendered speechless and unable to hold further conversation, Diana laughed quietly, turning her attention back to her task of manning the small broom they were on.

The reason as to why they were both on this peaceful flight was Diana’s suggestion to further secure their escape from their definitely angered dorm mother.

Never in her life had Diana imagined that she would be one to run away from authority. More often than not, she was the authority being run away from. She was that chasing, chastising figure who preserved the peace and discipline of the Academy.

…She was also the girl who screamed about just how much of a mess she was, prompted by her feelings for a witch quite familiar with the other end of the chasing game.

And she was in awe at the fact that she did not mind this change of pace one bit.

Diana almost jumped as she felt Akko’s arms tighten their hold around her waist, a weight- presumably Akko’s head- finding it’s purchase on her back. Akko had pressed her ear to the area, indulging in the sounds of Diana’s heart that did her no favors in hiding her emotions, betraying the calm she tried to show. It made the smaller witch smile giddily. It was the pleasure of knowing that she was the cause of such reactions from someone as amazing as Diana that filled her own heart with paramount joy.

The flight remained rather uneventful. It was tranquil, and the gentle breezes were almost enough to lull Akko to sleep, combined with the soothing scent of Diana’s shampoo, and the steady thrum of her heartbeat that served as her lullaby.

Almost, because Akko’s ever brilliant and excitable, yet sometimes anxious and doubtful mind had other ideas.

Ideas that may or may not be good, but nevertheless may be an adventure.

This time it was good, though! Akko swore! …maybe. She would admit that the notion slightly unnerved her, but it just felt right to challenge some things.

So, she decided to voice her idea to her partner in crime, thinking this was a good opportunity as any- scratch that- this was the perfect opportunity for her idea. It was the perfect moment, and all the cogs of this operation were aligned to allow this moment.

“Hey, Diana?”

“Hmm?” Akko loved how the hum vibrated against her ear, it was a pleasant feeling.

“So, like… I was thinking…” Diana gave her another hum to let her know she still had her attention. “Since we’re like… out here and together and all, already. And I don’t really know when we’d get another chance to do it since you might be busy, and I might be busy, and I guess we both can get very busy-“

“Akko, just say it.” Diana laughed lightly, one hand patting over Akko’s pair that rested on her stomach. She heard a deep intake of air, before the words,

“Can I drive?”

“Pardon?”

“Oh, uh,” Akko was beginning to make exaggerated gestures that were causing their little vehicle to swerve, and Diana got a tad bit nervous. “Y-you see, like, maybe I could drive and you could, like, tutor my flying again, y’know? Since we’re already out and flying, maybe you could, um, guide me as I drove and stuffandmaybenotIguessitwouldbesaferforyoutodrive-“

“Akko! Calm down!” Diana laughed a little louder. “Calm down.” She repeated much softer; and Akko now noticed that they both were making a slow descent onto a rather large tree branch. “It’s fine. I like the productive idea.” Diana threw her a nonchalant smile as they dismounted, holding the broom out for Akko to take.

“Th-thanks.”

“Still, I don’t think I’d ever be too busy to allow myself to spend some time with you.” Diana stepped a bit closer, effectively cutting Akko’s breaths a little short. “I’ll always make time for you.” Her face was even closer than her body, and Akko swore they could kiss if she leaned just an inch more- “And besides, we already have our usual tutoring sessions. Couldn’t we do it then?” Diana asked. “Actually, don’t we already have flying sessions from time-to-time? Silly, Akko.”

With those words, Diana had pulled away, leaving a flustered Akko staring at her for a few seconds. She giggled a beautiful tune, taking one of Akko’s hands and pressing the broom’s handle against it, closing calloused fingers around the rod.

“Come now, we don’t want to be having this lesson in complete darkness, now do we? The sooner we get to it, the sooner we finish and get back to the dorms.” Diana was seriously enjoying this too much. “I heard the dinner menu will include some Asian cuisine, and I’m rather excited for it. I’m sure neither of us would dare miss it.”

In a slight daze, but with her partner’s words registering in her shaken mind, Akko nodded her agreement. Straddling the broom, she waited as Diana situated herself comfortably behind her, feeling the warmness of her palms that lightly rested on her shoulders. It felt awkward for Akko, if she were to be honest; it also worried her that Diana might not be safe or secure behind her unless she held on slightly, um, tighter somewhere that was easier to hold on to? Not that Diana couldn’t easily take care of herself, but Akko still had her misgivings. Despite these beliefs, it proved difficult for the smaller witch to voice her concerns so she decided she might as well just kick off and trust that Diana would be alright.

But as if Diana had read her mind, feeling the tense muscles beneath her hands, she transferred her hold, arms snaking their way around Akko’s slim waist, thumbs brushing on a toned stomach over the brunette’s clothes, applying a certain amount of pressure for a small ounce of fun to get Akko to lighten up.

-Or so Diana claimed.

At the action, Akko found herself making an odd sound between a yelp and a squeal that made Diana uncharacteristically grin devilishly. Whipping her head around to glare at the perpetrator, Akko felt the slightest bit annoyed at the guiltless heiress wearing an innocent expression, but with a playful glint in her eyes.

“I swear,” Akko began. “Try that again, and we’re both falling to the ground; and it’s not even going to be my fault this time.” After keeping her gaze on Diana for just a few seconds more to ensure the girl didn’t pull anything funny, Akko looked forward, taking deep breaths and trying to focus her mind, chanting the spell that would get them up and flying once more.

And up they went.

…

At least, they were supposed to.

Albeit at her proposal, Akko found her feet rooted firmly on the ground, the phrase, Tia Freyre, dying on her lips.

She found her gaze flickering between the view of the horizon and the very far ground, and her will wavered.

Maybe it wasn’t as good an idea as she originally assumed.

“Akko?” Diana’s soft voice called for her attention, and she could only respond with a whimper. Upon hearing that, Diana felt the slightest panic begin to plant itself in her mind. Something was suddenly wrong. “Are you alright?”

Akko tried opening her mouth that suddenly felt very dry. She felt nauseous all of a sudden, and her vision swam. She considered giving in to the call of the darkness, but then she remembered that Diana was still behind her, still waiting for a response.

And if anything happened to Akko while they were out here, she’d surely feel responsible. Not to mention, Akko would be causing her extra trouble, dragging her unconscious Japanese weight back to campus.

She’d rather not leave Diana with a memory of her being such a burden again.

But at the same time, she’d also prefer not being the one to cause Diana harm should she make a fatal mistake. Ah yes, there was that too. Such a timely reminder that made her shake in her standard Luna Nova boots. What if she messed up and hurt Diana? That scared her more than anything else could. And that wasn’t something unexpected, at all. The fact that she herself could accept that she was a walking disaster only deflated Akko’s ego, and fed her monsters, more.

“Akko?”

But Diana was still waiting. Waiting so kindly, so patiently. She was still reaching for Akko’s heart, doing her best to clear out the clouds, and tell the girl that it was all okay. That they’d be okay. That she could do it.

Maybe it wasn’t true. Or maybe it was.

Nevertheless.

Maybe Akko could fake it ‘til she made it then. If it was for Diana, she could.

“I’m good.” She finally replied. With a heavy sigh, she braced herself, croaking out a shaky, “Tia Freyre”, and they were off.

At first, the take-off had its wobbly movements, and this fed Akko’s anxieties and lack of confidence in her abilities in magic, especially in flying which she had struggled the most with while learning. Maybe she was too apprehensive, so on edge and overthinking every little thing, and every possible bad situation, untrusting that she could fly both of them safely on course. Her hands were beginning to sweat and slide along the broom’s handle quite easily as she tried to steer them in the right direction. But before her mind could fall back irredeemably deep into the negatives and impact her performance significantly, she felt a squeeze to her waist and a nuzzle to her shoulder, yanking her out of the sinking sand that was her thoughts.

Fingers lightly walked their way to her shoulders, massaging the stiff muscles till the knots came slightly undone. Circular patterns were soon drawn on them, and it was as though she was being told, ‘It’s alright. Breathe. I believe in you, that you can do it’.

Still in doubt, Akko squeezed the wooden handle, eyes trying to remain trained to the scene in front of her. A tremor ran through her body as she coughed awkwardly, trying to trust in those words as Diana trusted in her.

Just then, she felt a hand placed on the center of her back, aligned with where her heart was, and she immediately understood.

‘I believe in your believing heart.’

Again, those words. They rung deep within her, gathering in a pool of hope and springing out into a fountain that allowed her actions to be filled with confidence and faith. If not faith in herself, then faith in Diana who believed in her.

Akko felt it blossom, the confidence she needed to try; to persevere. And it was all thanks to her companion. Her beautiful, all sorts of wonderful companion who knew Akko; who understood her.

Diana had spoken nothing, and yet she had successfully conveyed every word Akko needed to hear at the moment.

Readjusting her grip on the broom, Akko breathed in and out deeply, eyes closing momentarily, before revealing determined reds. No need for extra pressure on herself. She knew she had practiced; she knew she had studied. Diana knew that too. She had been with Akko every step of the way, and now it was time to see their sessions’ payoff.

As they ascended to a decent height, motions stabilizing, winds calm, with Akko only feeling the minimum magical usage drain from her body, she couldn’t help but be proud of herself. Her eyes widened as she felt the energy course through her veins, her body and the broom obeying her commands with relative ease. Realization hit her; she could personally tell that she had improved from her earlier days in Luna Nova, and she felt excitement bubble up within her, channeling into tiny bursts of happy laughter.

“Diana!” Akko exclaimed, daringly taking them into an upside-down loop in the air, speeding up at times, and slowing down smoothly with little struggle. “Diana, I can fly!”, she declared, going for a sudden drop before rising back high in the air. “I can fly!”. They zipped past trees and fields, headed down over a small pond where their feet barely grazed the water before Akko pulled upwards, spiraling into the sky gently.

“I can fly!” Akko repeated, again and again; each time serving as a reassurance, a confirmation of a truth she had longed for. “I can fly!”, she said as they traversed the Luna Nova skies, aiming for the setting sun.

“I can fly.” Akko’s proclamations were growing softer, yet more filled with emotion. Diana could have sworn she heard Akko choke up this time. Leaning to her side and over Akko’s shoulder to try to catch a glimpse of the brunette’s face, Diana’s conjecture had been confirmed.

She made it just in time to see a solitary tear escape the most gorgeous rubies Diana’s ever seen.

“I can fly… Diana. I can fly.” She spoke in a silent whisper, that last echo of joy.

And those words and the sparks in Akko’s eyes filled Diana’s heart with so much adoration, so much pride. She was genuinely happy for Akko. She knew for a fact that flying was one of Akko’s biggest dreams.

And witnessing the girl’s dreams come true firsthand, was Diana’s dream come true.

As they soared, twirled, giggled, and boisterously hollered their merriment, emotions only heightened- as high as the altitudes they so freely conquered.

And Diana slipped.

Overcome with all these intense emotions, senses filled with the sights of the world, and the scents of nature and of Akko, ears receiving the songs of the wind and Akko’s laughter; skin feeling the rushing cool, and Akko’s body pressed against her, and Akko filling her immediate visage, brown tresses and all; and Akko… and Akko, and Akko, Akko-

Diana kissed the back of her neck.

She’d lost control, and jumped on her impulses.

She’d lost control… and so did Akko.

With a loud yelp serving as the sole warning, the sound transformed into piercing screeches and wails as Akko shot out bullets of, “what do I do”s, while Diana tried her best to yell back the answers that fell on ears that could not focus on her voice at all, they spiraled down, and they spiraled down fast.

There was no time, Diana realized.

The ground was ready to catch them, and it was meeting up with them sooner than they’d like. Neither of those facts were very appealing.

What could she do, what could she do; what could she do- if only time would wait for them-!

“!!!” Diana’s memory and experienced served her well as she regained her calm and senses, a spell she had used before making its way to the forefront of her mind as she chanted a resounding, “Scrylla!” And immediately, time slowed down for them. This gave her the opportunity to shake Akko out of her panic, all but yelling at her to pull up immediately.

And Akko did.

~0~0~0~0~

After a few slow laps in the air to allow the shock to fade from their very bones, Akko guided them in an even slower descent until their feet were, once more, flat on the ground.

Moments of silence passed, both girls too frazzled to utter anything right away. All they did was begin their unrushed trek towards the main building, sun just about ready to disappear beneath the lining of trees.

They made it all the way to the cafeteria, no one having uttered a word still. Halting in their steps in front of the large, closed wooden doors, feet shuffled awkwardly, throats were cleared, and eyes darted all around.

…

Not being able to take the overwhelming tension, Akko took it upon herself to break it… though she was lost as to what to say in this kind of situation where they had most certainly almost died.

(Though if she thought about it, this wasn’t a rare occurrence either.)

“Um, so… right. Um… I’m-“ Where should she start? A greeting? With an apology? She did just almost kill them. It wasn’t quite on purpose, but- Okay. She’d apologize.

Akko inwardly groaned, words forming on her tongue, breathing in, ready to spew out strings of ‘I’m sorry. And I’m sorry.”

“I-“

“I’m sorry!”

“Huh?” That most certainly did not come from her.

“I… apologize for causing you distress.” Diana mumbled shyly, uncharacteristically. “Especially in that situation, and placing us in danger. I’m sorry.” Her body facing Akko, she had bent herself in a perfect bow.

“D-Diana! You- you don’t need to apologize! That was all me! I should’ve gotten a grip and-“ In her frantic state, Akko had reached over to grab Diana by both shoulders, trying to get her to straighten her posture once more, embarrassed to have someone like Diana in such a state in front of her. “It’s fine, really. You, You’re not at fault!”

At those words, Diana looked up, unease flashing in her eyes.

“Are you sure?” She whispered, Akko almost missing the words. The shorter girl nodded.

“I’m sure.” She replied, just as gently. “You didn’t really do anything wrong.” Akko offered one those smiles of hers that made Diana’s stomach do summersaults, flips, and run miles a minute.

It almost made Diana feel completely relieved. Until she remembered what she had done. Hanging her head ashamedly, she spoke again. “I would still like to offer my apologies. I may have crossed a line just then…”

“Huh? No, what are you, don’t apologize, Diana!” Feeling awkward at how Diana kept asking for her forgiveness, Akko rubbed the nape of her neck out of habit, and a recent vivid memory suddenly began replaying in her mind- the cause of their little “accident”.

Noticing the realization flash across Akko’s face, Diana looked to the side, a hand braced on the opposite arm, crossing her front, as if it were some form of comfort. Diana felt very shy, and very small at the moment.

And that look did not suit her at all, Akko thought. She’d be damned if their day ended on a sad note after all of this.

Reaching for both the heiress’ hands, she called, “Diana-“ And maybe she had gotten a little too excited, too close, as she the aforementioned girl jumped at the sudden proximity. “Ah! S-sorry.” Akko exclaimed, backing off.

Before she could release Diana’s hands, however, she was pulled right back in. “It’s alright.” It was a quiet statement, a simple one. Yet full of so much emotion and assurance.

Akko was entranced once more. Put under Diana’s spell, breathless and unable to pull her eyes away from those deep ocean blues. It was as if she was being reeled in. Caught by the other witch- hook, line, and sinker. She was getting so close. So, so close.

Blue eyes flickered down momentarily, and Akko was pretty sure she knew why.

Closer.

Closer.

Ding. Dong. Ding. Dong.

The chime echoed through the halls, an intercom announcing that dinner would be over in the next ten minutes, and that students should hurry up and finish their meals.

Just like that, the spell was broken, two girls separating a safe distance from one another.

“I-I guess we should hurry now! Wow, we… we sure took our time, haha!” Akko was the first to turn away, pushing the door to the mess hall open, attempting to escape the situation; but before she could take another step forward, a hand clutched to one of her own.

She looked back in time to see a blush bloom on Diana’s face, and Akko thought that it was prettier than any flower.

She probably wasn’t any better.

Diana gave her an unsure smile, like a question, a request for permission. She looked so soft and cute; Akko couldn’t help herself. She responded with a relaxed smile of her own and a squeeze to Diana’s hand, pulling her into the room.

They shared one final look, admiring each other’s features; eyes now clear and full of strong emotion. Two faces burned a fiery red, but their hearts probably burned brighter.

Hands bashfully intertwining as they made their way to the counters, grabbing trays of food and choosing a free table. Trying to focus on the rare Asian cuisine served for tonight’s meal, both tried to erase any remaining embarrassment or lingering awkwardness in the air, but found themselves failing.

Should someone say something? Should they simply eat in peace?

Both sighed in unison, attention darting to each other as they shared a laugh, blushes searing hotly across their faces.

It was starting to get a little hot. But it wasn’t bad at all.

~0~0~0~0~

Another day of much dreaded dance practice. At least, on Akko’s part, she hated it. After all, it was so boring as she was stuck, simply observing everyone else. Her teacher hadn’t really paid her any mind the moment she stepped into the extra class, neither was she given the go-ahead to join everyone else. So, she now found herself seated once more at a corner of the room, watching everyone else practice.

She observed everyone’s motions, trying to get a sense of what dancing entailed, trying to maybe image-train herself. Understanding and picturing the steps out clearly might help her be able to do it once she started dancing.

If the teacher allowed her to take part, that is.

At this point, that prospect was looking a little vague.

A sigh.

“They say you lose a year of life with each sigh, you know?” A pleasant timbre tickled her ears; a hand was extended, entering her line of vision. “I certainly wouldn’t like that. I’d prefer to see you around for much longer.”

“…I didn’t know you could be such a tease.” Akko giggled, looking up into bright eyes that stared at her expectantly, a kind smile playing across Diana’s face.

“I can’t say I don’t share the sentiment. I didn’t know I could be one either.”

Rolling her eyes, Akko took the outstretched hand, a squeak of surprise escaping her as she was pulled up abruptly into comfortable arms.

“W-what are you doing?” Akko aggressively whispered, a shiver running down her spine as a hand made its way to the small of her back, the other taking her own hand. Reflexively, her free hand found purchase on Diana’s shoulder- had it always been this broad- and Akko felt herself led a step forward, onto the dancefloor.

“Why, I’m simply ensuring that all my classmates contribute to this event. Slacking off isn’t a very good thing to do, right now.” Diana responded with her no-nonsense face on, before it was replaced by an impish smirk. They took another step. And another.

Was the world going to end today? Were pigs about to fly? Would Finnelan suddenly become a sweet, kind teacher? All these impossible thoughts streaming through Akko’s head were prompted by the oddness of Diana’s behavior. The other girl certainly had been acting quite different as of late, at least around and towards her.

Before she could question such events further, she suddenly realized what the girl had implied. Eyes widening, but brows furrowing, her face must have been quite a spectacle. She could clearly see the taller witch holding back a laugh. “I’m not- I’m not slacking off!” That was all she could come up with as a reply in her flustered state.

Diana was clearly amused, if her toned-down chuckles were any indication. Akko braced herself for more teasing, wondering if it would end soon.

Contrary to what she was expecting, Diana became serious all of a sudden, smile much more sincere now.

“I know.” – was Diana’s only reply. They had stopped in the middle of the room, Diana adjusting her hold on Akko, allowing the girl time to get more comfortable in the starting position, and get used to their proximity.

“Wha-“

“Dance with me, Akko.”

And that was her only warning; the next thing she knew, Diana had taken the lead, and the ease at which she could follow those movements stunned her, in a good sense, she supposed. Diana never failed to amaze her in everything she did.

Still, regardless of Diana’s skill, it did not hide the fact that Akko was inexperienced and no amount of knowledge-less observation could help her. She soon found herself stumbling into ready arms, careful in catching her.

“Are you alright?”

“I’m sorry, Diana! I can’t do this after all-“ She was unable to complete that statement as she was back in the original posture, Diana taking the lead, slower this time.

“The waltz, like any other dance, has its basics." Diana began to explain. “Take a step backward with your right foot,” Akko did as she was told without question. Diana nodded as if to say, ‘good’. “Step to the left with your left foot, then bring your right next to it.”

Akko clumsily tried to match Diana’s smoother actions, experiencing some difficulty with executing it in synch with Diana’s poised steps. She wanted to be as graceful as she her partner, but that was proving to be a challenge.

“Do not dwell on how you are performing, at the moment, Miss Kagari.” Diana instructed softly, as if she could hear Akko’s thoughts. “Focus on what you should do first. Now. Left foot forward, and right forward, but to the right; then bring your left foot to your right.” Diana hummed her approval as Akko was able to do as taught.

Akko would make a few random noises and squacks, but Diana paid them no mind. Her full attention was on guiding Akko, watching her every movement and correcting her accordingly until the girl got used to the motions, able to grasp the concept better, movements less rough and choppy.

“One, two, three; one, two, three.” Diana began counting to the music that had been playing in the room, picking up the pace of their movements to correspond to the sound. Her eyes remained staring into Akko’s intensely, yet gentle all the same. A paradox, much like Diana in her entirety was.

Similar to Diana’s concentrated state, Akko could only focus on her; everything not Diana fading out into nothingness. Only Diana remained. Her sweet voice, the way her hair swished about, the body that fit perfectly against her own, the scent she wore today: a bit of a vanilla-like fragrance, and fresh apples; and Akko thought she looked simply dashing, even if she was only in their school-issued jersey and shorts. The clothes did nothing to deter how absolutely gorgeous Diana was in her eyes.

And on that note of being an absolute beauty, Diana’s face was the kind you’d never get tired of staring at for as long as you could.

Eyes you could drown in, refreshing, gentle, and kind; a beautiful shade of blue. Then there was her nose, perfectly sculpted. Diana had fair skin, with a healthy tinge of pink on her cheeks. And of course, there were Diana’s lips- lips that Akko might have been staring at longer than necessary.

Lips. Full and plump. Inviting. Beautiful. Pink. Soft, they looked so soft… Warm.

Diana.

Diana’s lips. So close. If she’d only lean down the tiniest bit forward, maybe they could-

“One, two, three. One, two three. One, two- Miss O’Neill! I could have sworn I told you not to do that part like that-!”

The loud sounds of instruction, berating, and the clacks and squeaks of shoes returned to Akko’s hearing, reminding her of where she was and what she was doing.

“Miss Kagari, Miss Cavendish! Aren’t you a bit too close?” Their teacher’s voice completed the shattering of their own little world, reality seizing them back. With wide eyes, the pair disentangled themselves from one another, standing at a more decent distance away now.

This game of enchantment and being brought back to reality was becoming a dangerous habit of both, it seemed. It felt like playing with fire, and they were at the brink of something they did not know was about to take place; whether the consequences of that event be good or bad. They were both losing control. Over what? Akko felt she’d know soon.

Quietly, she made her way back to her corner of the room, picking up her towel and water bottle, taking long sips to help calm her nerves.

The last thing she registered before losing herself in thought was that she could barely hear Diana’s apologizing to the teacher; it was the only thing she was aware of at that moment… and maybe along with the fact that it was starting to get a little hotter.

~0~0~0~0~

In a corner of Luna Nova’s grand library, away from the prying eyes of other students, the temptations of any distractions, and the general noise of the school halls, was their spot.

A location in the wide chamber’s expanse that served as the standard meeting place of two witches. The top student, and the top problem of teachers- or so some professors and students labelled her. Diana would strongly beg to differ.

Here, in this little area, they’d often meet. To many people, two teens seemingly meeting secretly in a hidden corner of a building sounded like a scandalous affair waiting to be discovered. However, that was not the case for Akko and Diana. Most definitely not. Undoubtedly.

…maybe.

After all, this place was a sanctuary for them that would aid them in their dreams of becoming the greatest witches in the world. It was their place of focus and meditation, growth and dedication, progress and improvement.

It was their study spot.

“Dianaaa~” Akko whined, shattering the silence of the library momentarily. “I really don’t get this problemmmm~” She groaned, flopping face-first into her math book. “There’s just no way!”

Diana sighed, shutting her reading material with a soft clap. “Akko, have you ever heard the phrase, ‘When there’s a will, there’s a way’?” Diana addressed calmly, transferring from her seat by the window to the one next to Akko, adjacent to her initial position, and looking over the girl’s work.

“What if I don’t have a will…” Akko grumbled, glaring at the letters on the notebook she was solving on. “What does the alphabet have to do with math anyway! And what are these symbols and squiggles and lines! This isn’t art class!”

Diana wanted to laugh, finding Akko’s little exasperated tirade adorable, but she knew the girl would just pout at her even more, and possibly get annoyed. The initial response, she’d welcome, but if it meant Akko would ignore her again, she’d rather not.

She decided to give Akko a tip instead, seeing as the girl was relatively close to getting to the answer. She realized something that made her smile proudly at Akko, gaze warming over. “Well, at least you’ve gotten this far in your solution. On your own, might I add.” She gave praise as an encouragement, pleased at Akko’s apparent progressive improvement. She had yet to tutor Akko on this latest topic in their class, but the girl seemed to have been listening attentively in class, managing to understand this much of the material.

“N-not really.” Akko had become bashful as Diana commended her efforts. Despite feeling shy, Akko felt elated that all her hard work paid off in some way or form. Just like how she was able to fly the other day. Fly freely, fly happily with Diana by her side.

Ah. Right. She was reminded of a certain happening right away, but she decided against thinking about it, pushing it to the back of her mind. It would be best if she didn’t dwell on those memories if she wanted to continue concentrating in this study session, actually getting work done instead of dreaming of Diana at almost every moment, awake or asleep.

Opting to shift the attention away from herself to hide the blush that was definitely about to show, Akko turned to Diana. “I wouldn’t get to this point if it weren’t for you, Diana.” Akko admitted with a sincerity that made Diana’s heart flutter.

“Th-that was because of the effort and perseverance you put in.” She countered, her own cheeks taking on a pink hue.

“Not at all. Even with all the work I put in before, I never got far. But ever since you and Ursula-sensei began teaching me, I-“

“Well, you and sensei have been working hard together; I really haven’t done much.” Diana reasoned, ever the humble soul.

“No, you’ve done so much Diana! You’ve really helped me learn a lot, you’ve taught me a lot!” Akko exclaimed, lifting off her seat a few centimeters closer to Diana.

“If we are on the topic of learning from someone else, then you’ve certainly given me more life lessons than I’ve ever given you!” Diana countered, also rising from her seat.

With every return of praise, and/or compliment, the pair failed to notice the distance between them shrinking, too into their war of gratitude.

If she were being honest, this situation stressed Akko out somewhat. Today had been quite comfy; peaceful, friendly and homely. She was hoping it would stay that way. It had been a while since she could simply relax around Diana without worrying about how she should act towards the white-haired witch. Any awkwardness between them these past few weeks, courtesy of their changing relationship, had been forgotten… until this point. It was like she had returned to stepping around the eggshells that were her doubts and fears about this relationship, and the unending internal queries of how she should approach and act around Diana now. She thought she had become quite excited at the prospect of a more intimate relationship with Diana, but equal to that excitement was the amount of fear she had tried to push away these days.

Akko felt her tension rising again, an imaginary string representing her calmness, being pulled taut. What had started as one of their rare calm moments that they almost never had between them nowadays- in the form of a study session- transformed into a heated exchange between the pair, stored tension unravelling from the bundles kept within them.

“You-“

“No, You!”

“Akko!”

“Diana! It’s thanks to you, being so wonderful and amazing, and talented!”

“But Akko you’re the amazing one! You’re inspiring; full of hope, dreams, strength!”

“You’re the strong one! Doing your best for the sake of your family, and for the school, it’s one of the things I like about you!” Akko had now raised her voice, eyes squeezing shut at the intensity with which she expressed her emotions.

“Well, your outlook on life and the way you face your fears and goals head on is what I like about you!” Diana threw back.

“Aren’t you describing yourself? That’s what I admire about you! That and your ability to believe in me, and the people around you!” Akko returned the fiery compliments each time.

“You’ve embodied the phrase, ‘A believing heart is your magic’, and I’ve always admired that about you!” Was complimenting someone always this stressful? Diana wondered.

“Well, if you admire me, then I look up to you!”

“I wholeheartedly appreciate you, then!”

“I respect you!”

“I adore you!”

“I enjoy being around you!”

“I savor every moment I have together with you.”

“I find you very attractive!”

“I love everything about you!” Diana was sure she had never been as loud as this before, especially not while expressing her feelings towards someone else.

“Oh yeah?” Akko challenged, eyes now holding a staring contest with Diana, both waiting on the other to give in, feeling as if they’d explode otherwise.

“Yes.”

“Really now?”

“Yes!”

“Really, really?”

Diana took a deep breath, pushing the next words out, backed with a large volume. “Indeed, I DEEPLY cherish you! I-”

“WELL, I LOVE YOU-!”

Ah.

Two pairs of eyes went wide, Akko stuttering and fumbling out sounds, unable to form anything coherent. Diana felt the need to turn her head away, breaking their connected gazes, trying to look anywhere, at anything that wasn’t Akko to help her calm down.

Had the brunette meant what she said? Was it true? The words Diana had been longing to hear… had they finally been expressed?

Sure, she had a feeling- scratch that, she knew Akko loved her. She tried to trust in the girl and the feelings she was stirring within Diana herself.

Still, it came as a shock.

Diana knew she had said it to Akko before, and that the said girl likely returned her feelings; but she also knew that something was keeping Akko from committing to those feelings. There was always something keeping her from saying it.

Fanning her face, Diana tried to breathe in and out slowly.

The atmosphere was becoming too hot for either of them too handle.

Her eyes that had been darting every which way suddenly made a mistake, her gaze returning to where it had first been, and now they were locked with crimson pools, still wide, so large, so close yet again. Too close, once more.

Diana had forgotten how to breathe, and Akko seemed to struggle likewise.

It was a silent staring contest. A stark contrast to the moments of yelling prior to this. Their eyes saw nothing but the other’s, their breaths mingled due to their proximity. The shared heat between them becoming increasingly unbearable with each passing second that they held fast to their post.

Then it happened. So quick, Diana could have missed it, but it was obvious. Akko’s gaze had flicked to her lips, and in the split second it took for her eyes to meet Diana’s again, the distance was obliterated.

It was soft, yet intense. Hot, but refreshing. Full of mistakes, and absolutely perfect at the same time. Scary but then… they were each other’s reassurance. It felt like forever, but only lasted so few seconds.

Pulling apart breathless, Diana managed to comb a quivering hand into brown tresses, keeping Akko close as she bumped their foreheads together, shutting her eyes to allow her senses relief. In that single moment, Akko had managed to arrest all of her. Everything she felt, smelt, saw, tasted, heard… even thought. They were all Akko. Akko. Akko.

Her scent, the beat of her heart and clammy palms now resting on Diana’s lap; her shaky breaths, the taste of strawberry chapstick, and the red eyes that had tempted her so.

It was all Akko, Akko, Akko.

Akko and her smile. Akko and her whole being.

Akko and her lips.

“Again.”

It was not a request.

Diana would probably have to apologize for her greediness later, but right now, she had lost every chance of regaining her control any time soon.

As they separated after the second kiss, Diana felt the little wind she even had left in her get knocked out her lungs as Akko’s dazed expression did Diana no favors of keeping her sanity.

And as if to tip her over the edge,

“I love you… Diana.”

…

“I’m sorry, Akko.”

“H-huh? What do you…” Before Akko could even feel confusion or hurt, a loving hand cupped her face, body pulled ever closer by the opposite arm now clinging to her waist. And then came a command she was compelled to comply to, nodding at each repeat.

A single word.

“Again.”

Even if it was looped a thousand times, she wouldn’t say no.

“Again.”

“Yes.”

“Again.”

“Until you’re satisfied, Diana.”

“-!!”

Akko pouted as Diana had created some space between them, breaths heavy and eyes wide.

“Don’t act all taken aback now!” Akko sighed fondly, giggling at the destroyed tension, nuzzling Diana’s cheek sweetly before contrasting that action by fixing the girl with a heated stare, looping her arms over her shoulders, pulling the taller girl down to her level. She had been enjoying Diana’s initiative, but it seems she now needed a jumpstart.

She smirked at the audible gulp, offering a proposal to study something else other than math against swollen lips.

 “Okay, Diana? …Now do it again.”

 They’d finally overheated.

 A/N: Anddd… done! Finally! I could cry!

I baked a frick ton of cookies yesterday and today. 100 fairly large ones hahaha for the holidays. That also took some of my updating time.u I hope I don’t take this long for the next chapter. Huhuhu. It is stressful to think that it takes so long for me to dish something out. Feedback if you would be so kind? Thank you for reading and Merry Christmas!

~Shintori Khazumi

[kikifeliz]

THE WEEK AHEAD: May 3 - May 9, 2021

By Kiki Feliz

♑️♉️♍️ Capricorn, Taurus, Virgo

More action this week than last, which is good! Last week was about planning — and in some ways, planning poorly or neglectfully. I saw last week that some of you are struggling with your identities, figuring out who you really want to be in this world & how you want to present yourselves to others.

This week, I see some of your ideas about who you are starting to take shape on the physical plane; I also see that you are putting your heart into it more! Not necessarily emotionally, as in self-love, but like courageously. Think about how they say athletes etc. have “heart,” meaning they are dedicated for the love of the accomplishment/the love of the game. The self-love aspect will come, but for those of you who know about the Tarot, this reading is dominated by Wands (spirited, organized action & courage) rather than Cups (emotions).

I see you’ve been fighting your intuition, likely about spiritual work that needs to be done. There’s a lot of resistance and defensiveness here. It looks like some of you are trying to protect yourself from something. For some, it’s from a player-type romantic figure; others of you may be trying to protect yourself from addictive behaviors and substance abuse.

You seem to be fighting a problem that you are wholly responsible for; something you’ve conjured up in your own head. Ultimately you have complete power and control over this situation, even if it doesn’t seem like it. Even if the opposition (the addiction or the romantic interest) does have some standing here, that doesn’t really mean anything — it’s standing that YOU have given them. Tear it down whenever you’re ready! If this means going to rehab for addiction recovery, do that. If this means cutting this person down from the pedestal you’ve built them, DO THAT! The pedestal might not even be that high (meaning you may not actually consider this person to be that dope) but still, cut that shit down. STOP FUCKING SPYING ON THEIR SOCIAL MEDIA!! It’s not helpful lmao 😂

Take a rest from engaging with whatever this is, and go find some respect. Whether this is respect from your community of likeminded people or self-respect, you need to figure out for yourself. Either way, focus on other people and other, healthier social activities. Maybe get off of social media for a few days altogether. Go hang out with people you haven’t seen in a while. Go for a hike and spend some time outside! But most of all, you need to give this old pattern a rest and cleanse your system of the person/substance so you can move forward.

Once you do this, I see things moving very harmoniously for you! Drop the ball on recovery, however, and you’ll be right back in the cycle of juggling dumb shit and self-sabotaging, taking away valuable resources from your own brain and/or wallet that you could be using for something else more valuable in the long run.

I don’t need to tell you that this addiction/person is bullshit, you already know. This situation may have brought out a side of you that you don’t like; maybe you have even resorted to negative manipulations in order to try to get what you wanted from this situation, or to score (relevant in both the sexual & drug-related sense of the word).

If it’s a person, maybe you thought that you were meant to be together ~/*if only you could outlast the competition*/~. This is simply just NOT TRUE. This is NOT an episode of The Bachelor!

If it’s a drug/alcohol issue, you may have stolen from your parents to fund the habit or done other things as an act of rebellion against tradition. Either way, I see you struggling mentally to win this fight, but not for long. There may even be some enablers in your life that you will have to eliminate.

You are strong enough to win and you do have a community of people cheering you on! Take that hype then use that as fuel to help you remember why it’s important for you to win this battle. Or, alternatively, rather than “hype” it could be negative reactions to the situation told to you by friends and family... maybe they didn’t like how someone was treating you, or how you were treating the community or yourself as a result of your contact with this person/substance. Either way, your community is far more important than this person or this substance. Remember that! There is absolutely hope on the horizon for success in leaving this situation behind.

Something fated is going to happen for y’all very soon! This may have to do with an adventure you’ve been waiting to take the next step on, a trip you’re already on to a new destination for those of you who are planning on traveling, or a goal you’re already pursuing. It may be the rebirth of a long-awaited dream, one that you’ve been stuck reflecting on for a while. You may have thought this dream was dead, but the universe was just waiting for the right time to give it to you.

You’ve had a lot of struggles, but I see you coming into a period of light, independence, joy and work. Some of you may be recovering from really horrible incidents, like depression, sexual assaults, thefts, break-ins, and anxiety, but I want you to know that recovery is imminent and I see you consciously taking a hold of your recovery through acts of joy and through your work!

Whether this defeated feeling you may have stems from addiction or a negative incident that had a bad effect on your psyche, I want you to know that recovery is a PRACTICE and it takes time. And that’s okay! Just keep the lines of communication open with yourself and others; most importantly be HONEST with yourself and you will absolutely be capable of taking back control over your life. Big CEO energy here — get ready to make some executive decisions soon!

Keep in mind that nothing happens overnight and that you will need to work hard on all of your goals in order to accomplish them. Temptation (that trap, that pit) is always going to be there, but you have to take the reins and drive around it, or go consciously in the other direction. This will be hard and it will take longer than you expect; you will also have to confront your shadow side in order to succeed long-term, which will be scary. But approach yourself with love and positivity. In the meantime, do what you can to make yourself feel attractive. This is the start of a whole new you! That person is worth patiently and consciously doing the work for, right?

In love, if you’re dating, it looks like some of you may be caught up with some lies, infidelity, or self-sabotaging (either by you or by someone else). If this is the case, declare your independence and GTFO. Seriously. This situation is giving off bad vibes anyway. It may take a while for you to trust enough to love again, but you absolutely will. You are attractive, kindhearted, and sweet! That’s an irresistible combo.

If you’re single and thinking about approaching someone romantically this week, you can... but you probably aren’t ready, and the attempt may come off as immature and poorly planned. If you really think this person is your soulmate, then I would advise giving it a better effort. The person you plan to approach may be very defensive or shut off. Be prepared to bring on a Major Romantic Gesture if you want to seduce them and take down their walls! Regardless, take a chill pill on the social media stalking, bud — you’ll just psych yourself out. Go outside and hang out with your friends instead!

If you’re in a relationship, it looks like silly squabbles may be coming between y’all, but I do see a possibility of them being resolved with some balance. Sometimes you just have to agree to disagree. Change the subject, have some patience, and if you are really at an impasse, then take a break to yourself to reflect. Otherwise, things could get ugly and we don’t want that! Is there something you’re being willfully blind to? Something you are ignoring? I see it becoming a big problem later on.

For those of you who are committed, someone in the relationship may be judgmental about the other person’s friend group (are they bad influences?? Perhaps. But that’s none of their business if everyone is adults). If this is the case, suck it up and go find some work to do... they aren’t going to change their friends for you, so let it go. Domineering attitudes will not help the matter. Just compartmentalize the time you spend with those people and leave it at that.

You and your partner are allowed to have your own independent lives, so let that happen. If this is an issue, I see it being unresolved for quite some time. But if you stay open to the love and to helping each other grow, and remind each other how attractive you find each other, despite the negatives, I see you bringing this back from the brink of death and successfully turning over a new leaf/making it to the next chapter in the relationship!

[shakespeareintellectualbadass]

http://andthenshesaid.co.uk/expertsofourownexperience/queer

Feels weird to advertise a blog on a blog, but I'm writing a series called Experts of Our Own Experience around pieces of my personal experience of life - being neurodivergent, dealing with depression and anxiety and an eating disorder, and most recently, being visibly queer for the first time in my life. I've learned more about myself from hearing others talk about their experiences, and I'm a big believer in learning about experiences other than your own, so whether any of these things apply to you or not, maybe you'll find something connective.

If you're interested, check it out, lmk if you have thoughts ✌

I’ve known I’m not straight since I was seventeen.

I went to all-girls school for fourteen years, from age four to eighteen. All my friends were female until I got to college. For most of my youth I was more consumed by the romantic stories my imagination conjured up, and generally those stories starred princes rather than princesses. I never spent any time overanalyzing it because it never felt wrong, to imagine either but focus more on boys.

And yeah, I’m definitely attracted to men. I obsessed over the boys we met at parties in high school like my friends did. I enjoy flirting with and dating men (most of the time…). I have a longstanding, embarrassingly strong celebrity crush on Jensen Ackles (like full blush, swooping in my stomach listening to him sing or when he winks at the camera). I remember one particular boy who my best friend and I fought over for about an hour at a friend’s quinceañera freshman year (that might be the most heated fight we’ve ever had and we’d only met him at that party, which is ridiculous). I also had really intense female friendships I didn’t think anything of. With the benefit of hindsight, I can see how those friendships with girls I liked and admired - the really earnest ones where I’d go out of my way to do things for them and be around them because I just really want her to want to be my friend - were actually crushes. I’m a people pleaser (with people I care about anyway), but I recognize that higher intensity now that I’ve been through more serious relationships. Definitely bisexual.

It clicked in the autumn of senior year, when I fell for one of my friends from school. We spent a few months pining and then dated for about half a year (though we were both dealing with shitty mental health struggles at the time and were overall not very good for each other) and broke up right before I graduated. All our friends knew we were together, as did my family and probably hers and probably quite a few more people than we knew. What can I say, I’ve never been known for my subtlety, especially when romantic interest is involved.

But right now is the first time I’ve been obviously queer. Visibly, aesthetically queer in how I choose to present myself.

I’ve easily passed for straight all my life. I’ve had long hair and lengthened my eyelashes with coats of mascara, worn low cut tops and tall heels and tight jeans. I’ve flirted with men more than women and leaned into my soft, feminine energy more than my assertive, masculine energy.

But I’ve never had to adjust to being bisexual, to accept that about myself. I never worried about what my parents would think. I know I’m enormously lucky because of that. That said, there’s a difference between coming to terms with being bisexual and being comfortable presenting as queer. My parents are both artists; they both went to college for performance (acting for mum, singing for dad) and are wonderfully open minded and raised me with that same open-mindedness. I don’t think I ever actually came out to them. I could tell they knew about my interest in my high school girlfriend, so I just started talking about it, and that was that. My whole extended family is very accepting, and there are other LGBTQ+ members of the family. One of my cousins is trans and bi; we make a lot of jokes about being the gay cousin (“every family has a gay cousin; if yours doesn’t, you’re the gay cousin” “but if I’m the gay cousin, and you’re the gay cousin, who’s flying the plane?”). My dad’s mom and her partner have been affectionately dubbed The Grandmas for my whole life. Grandma Natalie is as much my grandparent as Grandma Gayle, though we’re not related by blood. I don’t know how many members of my family know I’m queer - I’ve never specifically come out to any of them either - but I don’t worry about it. It’ll become obvious at some point, or I’ll drop it in conversation like I do so often now.

It does vary, how out I am - in high school I was comfortable with it in my personal life, but I never considered joining the LGBTQ+ club - and it’s been different when I’m in a relationship. Both my long term boyfriends were queer/on the bisexuality spectrum, but we presented like a heterosexual couple so never had to worry about coming out. While my high school girlfriend and I weren’t subtle, we also weren’t fully out as a couple. Her family was religious and she was worried about their reaction. On top of that, we were both fairly femme, and in Catholic school the general assumption is that everyone is straight. When I got to college, I only dated men. Part of that was residual fear left over from how badly that high school relationship ended. Part of it was I went to a Catholic university (seriously, how did I spend eighteen years in Catholic institutions when I’ve never been Catholic). A lot of it was compulsive heterosexuality - something queer women fall into a lot because our society is set up with men as the be all and end all (“how could anyone not be attracted to men?” “Of course the ultimate happy ending is settling down with a man...”). A lot of it was how much more I was around men. For the first time, there was a lot of choice, which was an exciting prospect. Even when I wasn’t in a serious relationship, I tended to only focus on men as romantic prospects.

Again, with the benefit of hindsight, I can see how much I’ve been and still am guided by that ingrained need for male attention and validation. It’s also easier to pick up men than women - there’s no is she flirting or is she just friendly to deal with – because men and women are socialized so differently that men don’t usually gush and compliment women they’ve just met in the same way that women do. Maybe it’s just easier to assume men are flirting because of the stereotype that men always want to get laid. Maybe it’s scarier to flirt with women. Maybe both. It’s certainly possible that’s my own projection rather than fact. That said, I did once have a two hour conversation with a lady in a shop during which we effusively complimented each other multiple times, and I have no idea if she was flirting with me or if she was just nice. Girls in bar bathrooms consistently hype each other up without ever exchanging names. It’s wonderful, but it does make things a little foggy when one is trying to flirt with a lady.

Anyway - I was talking about being obviously queer for the first time. It’s odd because I’m very comfortable talking about being bisexual. I bring it up in conversation easily. I post about it for pride. I talk about it a lot on my podcast. I’ve been comfortable with it since I recognized it - I have a wonderfully supportive family, and accepting that part of myself came easily. Presenting it to the world aesthetically is different - more personal, more vulnerable. Even writing about it here, thinking of you reading this, I feel more shy than I would were we face to face. While I didn’t spend any time reassessing my personality when I realized I’m bi, I’m just now recognizing that I do have internalized biphobia and compulsive heterosexuality I need to work through. I think the difference right now is about presentation, that I’ve never felt like I looked bisexual. Which is silly, right? As much as we talk about gaydar and queer trends (bisexuals cuff their jeans, etc), both within the LGBTQ+ community and out, you can’t actually tell anyone’s sexual orientation from their appearance. Queer people just tend to be more adventurous with their self-expression, perhaps because they’ve spent time at one point or another repressing who they are. Perhaps there’s just a joy in exploring something different, that makes you stand out. I don’t know - that’s true for me, though I’m only just starting to experiment myself, and I’m sure it’s different for everyone. I certainly don’t know if I would experiment with my style in the same way if I was straight, having never been straight.

My style has slid less feminine during this year of lockdown. Part of it is that I’m rarely going anywhere, and when I am, I’m walking a lot, so sneakers are a must. I exercise a lot more now, so often when I leave the house, it’s for a workout in a park and I’m dressed in leggings and a sweatshirt. I’ve gravitated toward looser trousers for the last year and a half or so; after years of skinny jeans, I’m obsessed with how comfortable they are. Now that it’s winter, I’m more focused on being warm and comfy than being fashionable. Also, I sort of feel like any moment an apocalypse movie is going to start and I need to be dressed to live in the woods. This added up into a vibe more butch than I’m used to, but with my hair longer than it had been in years, I didn’t really notice.

And then I chopped all my hair off. Like actually all off. A full pixie cut, shorter than I’ve ever gone.

Leading up to it, I guessed I was going to want to lean more into feminine fashion again to balance the cropped cut. I like being feminine and I’m in no hurry to give it up. I planned to pull out my comfy knit pencil skirts and my heeled ankle boots. I expected to forget about my new habit of dressing like I live in the woods. That hasn’t really happened. I’ve still been dressing for comfort, and my style choices have gravitated more toward sweater vests and flare trousers. Both Harry Styles and Phoebe Waller-Bridge in the “Golden” music video. The other day I caught sight of myself in a window and needed a moment to recognize myself: the combination of loose jeans, sweatshirt, raincoat, sneakers, and short hair just didn’t feel like the me I remembered. I looked at myself and didn’t see the femme, straight passing person I’ve looked like for most of my adult life. Let me be clear - I am by no means saying that looking obviously queer is a bad thing. It’s new to me, but I’m rediscovering myself.  I still saw me - and that’s key, that this haircut has always felt like me - but a different me than I’m used to seeing in the mirror.

I have a lot of affection for this new aesthetically masculine and feminine mix, and the other day, stuck in the house at the beginning of lockdown no.3, I felt the urge to dress up a little. I put on lipstick for the first time since May, pulled out a plunge bodysuit and a pair of one-of-a-kind flare jeans I found in a vintage shop on Brick Lane the other week (looser jeans are a masculine leaning I’m embracing wholeheartedly). I decked out my fingers in rings and pulled out my wire-rimmed blue light glasses (my eyesight is so bad that my actual glasses look like something from the wardrobe of a nerd from a 1980s movie, so I stick with contacts). I snapped this photo, just to see the full effect as I no longer have a full-length mirror, and - bam.

I love how I look. I’m obsessed with my hair, with the bright red lines of the bodysuit (and isn’t me in a bright color shocking enough!). I love the jeans, love that they’re a little too big in the waist and just keep flowing out from there, a feminine line in a masculine fabric. I love the wire rim glasses (even if I do look like my dad in the 80s). I love the muscle I can see in my arms from months of pushups and calisthenics. I love how much space I take up, both physically and just in my presence. I am feminine and masculine. I am impossible to miss. Once, even a year ago, that would’ve been stressful. Now, I feel like shouting from the rooftops. This is me.

It’s gone up on Instagram. It’s my new profile picture on various apps. The only caption has been a peace sign emoji - a joke within the LGBTQ+ community about how bisexual people never know what to do with our hands (“point a camera at a bisexual and see how long it takes them to flash a peace sign or finger guns”). It’s a very different vibe from my last profile photo - almost two years ago I smiled at my friend behind the camera from a flowering yellow bush as I watched my last relationship coming to an end.

I keep coming back to how much it is different. This is a change - not of who I am, but of how I reflect it to the world. Proud and excited as I am, and as much as I want to care only for what I think, the fear of rejection lingers. The fear that my friends’ love isn’t malleable and won’t fit this new me anymore. The yearning for the people I love and admire to be proud of me. And on top of that, I wonder how I am different, how my change in appearance reflects an inner shift. How it necessitates it. I’ve always felt the inner shone through to the outer - now that I’m changing the outer, does that come from a shift I’ve already made or is there one still to make? Do I have to act more queer because I look it? What do I feel I need to prove?

Maybe I’ve spoken so much and so easily about my sexuality because I knew it wasn’t visible. Now it’s far more clear, and I feel both more confident and shy. Who is this woman who wears red and casually takes up space? I know her, have seen her in flashes, but this is the first time she is stepping out so boldly. That’s it: I am bold in a way I haven’t felt before. I know, logically, that I have been (again, I’ve never been known for subtlety), but not so consciously. Not with so much intention behind my choice. Some boldness comes so easily I never think of it, but this - this was like bursting out of water for that first breath of air. Natural, intuitive, but not easy.

All this comes in the middle of a period of great change in my life. I’m moving back to my home country after living in London for almost three years, back to my parents’ house after living alone for a year during this pandemic. I’m reconsidering everything I want to spend the next few years doing, much less the rest of my life. I’m trying to figure out how to fund seeing the world and how to organize running a podcast with guests from everywhere I go. I’m consciously focusing on myself and what I want rather than delaying or sacrificing my goals for anybody else. I’m putting off putting down roots for a bit and relying on the knowledge my family is there to come back to. My future see-saws between the safety of family and the unquestionable boldness of adventure.

There is an apprehension that comes with change, an acknowledgment that I am growing and becoming something new, something that is always myself though I did not know it was there. It is freeing and exhilarating and terrifying, growing. Like jumping off a cliff, I have to squeeze my hands into fists and tighten my core and rely on the knowledge that the water below will catch me, that I will catch me, so that I can enjoy the fleeting moment of flying into something new.

[gunnerpalace]

Hi! Same anon as the previous one. Tbh, I agree wholeheartedly with you. Y'see I do ask rhetorically,too but i could really accept and understand how and why ppl can be oblivious to IchiRuki, and somehow felt that the 'canon' should suffice, even the most excruciating of all is the fact a number found the ending even acceptable (ships aside, too). Again, I could respect that. But it's my greatest bane when ppl ask 'why' and not be clear they are asking rhetorically because I literally will

provide you an actual answer. And I get it, it’s the reason why ppl find shipping wars toxic and silly. But then again, as human, conflicts are always part of us (partly because as social psych explains so, we are gravitated to the negative for that allows us to change and survive), and the reason why “logical fallacies” are coined in the first place. Human will always debate, and argue about something; the only thing we could change is how we approach the opposing views.

Again, I dont condone any way, shape or form of abuse and harm. In some certain extent, I could perhaps understand it’s much harder for some IH to approach the actual argument being there’s either too much noise, and trapped in their own island between sea of salt. Thus becoming too acquianted w/ few IH who shared the same thought until it became their views as the only truth (see, that’s why its important to have debates! it is what keep us grounded and fair! Just like you said)

Who am I to speak though? I never ever challenged anyone anyways. And as you said, you just have to understand things in every way you could possibly think of–endless ‘whys’. Which is where I agree in your reply the most–this silly fandom wars is just the black mirror to every truth that lies beneath human psyche–the dark and the grimy. Heck, being a psych major is like staring at dark hole–at times, good, but most just plain confusing, revolting even or just heartbreaking.

Sorry it’s been long, but for the final of this ask: let me tell how glad I was with IchiRuki fandom I found in tumblr. It was the saltiest I’ve ever been (im not generally a fandom person anyways) but it’s the himalayan salt–expensive and actually nutritive it really deepened my desire to become wiser in general. And you for your wonderful essays, critiques and whatnot. I definitively would love to talk with you more not only about IchiRuki but the wonders and nightmare that us humans! Kudos!

I have sitting in my drafts a post spelling out my thoughts on “canon” (and thus, the people who cling to it) in that as a concept it privileges:

officiality over quality when it comes to validity (thus violating Sturgeon’s law)

corporations (intellectual property rights holders) over fans, and thus capitalists over proletarians

hierarchical dominance over mutualist networking within fandom

curative fandom over transformative fandom

genre over literary content

plot over characters

events over emotions

It is notable that (1) generally degrades art as a whole, (2) generally advances the capitalist agenda, and (3–7) generally advances the dominance of men over women (as the genders tend to be instructed by society to view these as A. dichotomies rather than spectrums, and B. to ascribe gender to them and make them polarities). These form the sides of a mutually reinforcing power structure (in the typical “Iron Triangle” fashion) designed to preserve and maintain the status quo.

Who really benefits from say, the policing of what is or is not “canon” in Star Wars? Disney, first and foremost. And then whomever (almost certainly male) decides to dedicate their time to memorizing the minutiae of whatever that corporation has decided is “legitimate.”

One can imagine a universe in which fan fic is recognized by companies for what it is: free advertising. (Much like fan art already is.) Instead, it is specifically targeted by demonetization efforts in a way that fan art isn’t. Why? Because it demonstrates that corporate control and “official” sanction has no bearing on quality, and it is thus viewed as undermining the official products.

In the same way, by demonstrating that most “canonical” works are frankly shit, it undermines the investiture of fans in focusing on details that are ultimately errata (the events, the plot, the genre), which is the core function of curative fandom and the reason for its hierarchical structure. The people who “know the most” are at the top, but what they “know” is basically useless garbage. And those people so-engaged are, of course, usually male.

To “destroy” the basis of their credibility, and indeed the very purpose of their community, is naturally viewed by them as an attack.

(This is not to say that efforts to tear down internal consistency within established cultural properties are good unto themselves, or even desirable. For example, efforts to redefine properties such as Star Wars, Star Trek, Doctor Who, and Ghostbusters, for the sake of a identity-politics agenda have largely A. failed as art, B. failed as entertainment, C. failed to attract the supposedly intended audience, and D. failed to advance the agenda in question. Trying to repurpose extant media in the name of culture wars is essentially always doomed to failure unless it is done deftly and gradually.)

(At the same time, this also shows what I was talking about last time, with regard to people seeing whatever they want to see. You will see people complain that Star Trek and Doctor Who didn’t “used to be so political,” which is obviously nonsense. These shows were always political. What changed was how their politics were presented. For example, Star Trek has, since TNG, always shown a nominally socialist or outright communist future, but was beloved by plenty of conservatives because they could [somehow] ignore that aspect of it.)

Of course, almost no one is seriously suggesting that one side of the spectrums outlined above be destroyed, rather merely that a new balance be struck upon the spectrum. But, as we have seen time and again in society, any threat to the status quo, whether that be 20% of Hugo Awards going to non-white male authors or the top income tax rate in America being increased by a measly 5.3% (from 28.7% to 34%… when the all-time high was 94% and for over 50 years it was above 50%) is a threat. This is why, for example, Republicans are out there branding AOC as a “socialist” when her policies are really no different at all from a 1960 Democrat who believed in FDR’s New Deal. (Which they, of course, have also demonized as “socialism.”)

(As an aside, all this ignores the fact that most of the “literary canon” of Western civilization, or at least English literature… is Biblical or historical fan fic.)

And this is when I finally get to my point.

Those people out there who denigrate and mock shippers and shipping, the people who hurl “it reads like fan fiction” as an insult, and so on, are the people who benefit from and enjoy the extant power structure. You will see the same thing with self-identified “gamers” complaining about “fake girl gamers.” Admitting that the hobby has a lot of women in it, and a lot of “casuals,” and is indeed increasingly dominated by “non-traditional demographics” is an affront to the constructed identity of being a “gamer.” They are “losing control.” And they don’t like it.

This exact same sort of population is what the “fanbase” of Bleach has been largely reduced down to through a slow boiling off of any actual quality. Of course they’re dismissive of people who are looking for anything of substance: their identity, their “personal relationship” with the franchise, is founded on a superficial appreciation of it: things happening, flashy attacks, eye-catching character designs, fights, etc.

(What this really boils down to, at heart, is that society at large has generally told men that emotions are bad, romance and relationships of all kinds are gross, and that thinking and reflecting on things is stupid. So of course they not only don’t care about such things, but actively sneer at them as “girly” or “feminine,” which is again defined by society at large as strictly inferior. And this gender divide and misogyny is of course promulgated and reinforced by the powers that be, the capitalists, to facilitate class divisions just like say racism generally is.)

(The latest trick of these corporate overlords has been the weaponization of “woke” culture to continue to play the people off one another all the time. “If you don’t like this [poorly written, dimensionless Mary Sue] Strong Female Character, then you are a racist misogynist!” They are always only ever playing both sides for profit, not advancing an actual ideological position. It is worth noting that there was a push by IH some years ago to define IR as “anti-feminist” for critiquing Orihime for essentially the exact same reasons [admittedly, not for profit, but still as critical cover].)

Which makes it very curious, therefore, that the most ardent IH supporters tend to be women. (Though there are more than a few men, they seem to tend to support it because it is “canon” and to attack it is to attack “canon” and thus trigger all of the above, rather than out of any real investment.) I think there are a number of reasons for this (which I have detailed before) and at any rate it is not particularly surprising; 53% of white women voted for Trump, after all.

What we are really seeing in fandom, are again the exact same dynamics that we see at larger and larger scales, for the exact same reasons. The stakes are smaller, but the perception of the power struggle is exactly the same.

Of course, the people who are involved in these things rarely think to interrogate themselves as to the true dimensions and root causes of their motivations. People rarely do that in general.

Putting all that aside, I’m glad that you have found a place you enjoy and feel comfortable, and thank you for the kind words, although I am not of the opinion that there is anything poignant about the non-fiction I write. It is, as I keep trying to emphasize, all there to be seen. One just has to open their eyes. So, it’s hard for me to accept appreciation of it.

Anyway, don’t feel shy about coming off of anon rather than continuing to send asks. We don’t really bite.

[benisasoftboi]

Gushing time.

Rune Factory 4 Special arrived a day early, so my entire day has been consumed in nostalgia. The original Rune Factory 4 was the first video game I ever bought on release day - I remember saving up all my money and making my mum drive me to like three different shops trying to find one that had it. I was already a fan of the franchise - before then, Rune Factory 3 had been my favourite video game, across the board. Aside from a playthrough of the first game last year, I haven’t played a Rune Factory game in a long time, certainly not RF4. But just starting up the game and hearing the music again, it was like it was suddenly seven years ago. Running around Selphia and seeing all the characters again - I love JRPGs, have played a lot of them, and I can think of very few that have characters that have stuck with me this long. And the aesthetics - the best thing about the Rune Factory franchise has always been the aesthetics, the music, the scenic and character design, just the general world. It’s a beautifully whimsical balance of urban and fantasy, and it’s the only JRPG world I think I’ve ever come across that I would genuinely want to live in. Rune Factory may no longer be my favourite game franchise - but I don’t think there has ever been another series that has felt so much like home to me.

Here’s a very long selection of personal highlights from the art book (by which I mean photos of the art followed by my rambling opinions):

Yeah, see, here’s the thing - Rune Factory 1 is not a good game. I could write an entire essay on why it’s bad (I actually started and got pretty damn far before realising no one’s interested in my two thousand word review of a game that came out over a decade ago - the short version is ‘Misty Bloom-fucking-Cave’. Anyone who’s played RF1 knows exactly what I mean). Don’t get me wrong, it has good qualities - excellent boss fights, for one, and also, as with the rest of the franchise, it is aesthetically wonderful. But ultimately, it feels less like playing a video game, and more like playing a proof of concept for a game. Which I guess it kind of was - and I can’t hate it because we wouldn’t have the rest of the series without it.

But it literally ends with a dragon spewing plant breath on a tank to make a turnip grow out of the gun. ‘Profound’, my arse. 

It’s Raguna! The “master sowrdsman!” (that is not a typo on my part that is a direct quote from the ending of Rune Factory 1 this game’s script had so many issues-). And Mist! My favourite of the ‘canon’ love interests!

Best girl! When I was a kid, my favourite love interest in RF1 was Rosetta. As an adult, it is Tabatha. I don’t know what it is about her that I find so likeable (she’s as lacking in personality as any other RF1 character), but... idk, I just like her a lot.

Camus’s big ambition is to leave town like even once. He will never achieve it

Fun fact about Melody is that she’s extremely depressed, a fact that comes up once in an optional side quest and is never addressed again. It’s incredibly dark for an RF game

Fun fact about Lukas is that he sucks (he’s one of those ‘obsessed with talking about how hot all the girls are’ characters, an archetype that thankfully doesn’t show up again in these games). But also, interestingly enough, thanks to one of RF1′s many, many script errors, if you marry Rosetta (the girl Lukas is the most obsessed with), he’s supposed to express disappointment that he lost her to Raguna - but instead, he implies that he’s disappointed to have lost Raguna to her. The translators typoed their way into giving him a sexuality change. Which is honestly kind of amazing.

LOOK AT THIS SLIME THIS IS SUCH A COOL SLIME LITERALLY EVERY OTHER JPRG SLIME GO HOME DRAGON QUEST GET FUCKED (jk I like Dragon Quest a lot and its slimes are cool too). Wish you could see in-game that this is what they’re meant to be like.

I just generally love the monster designs, they’re really charming

Rune Factory 2! The RF game with the most weirdly mundane protagonist name (Kyle. In the main four games of this franchise we’ve got Raguna, Micah, Lest, Frey... and Kyle). The two generations thing was actually very cool, but when they say ‘each chapter captures a different lifestyle’, what they really mean is ‘the first half is a weak Harvest Moon I’m sorry, STORY OF SEASONS game, and the second half is a pretty good Rune Factory game’  

lookit this little fuck

Yue Yue Yue! I love Yue so much, she’s great. She’s kind of like a much chiller version of Anna from Fire Emblem.

It’s really cool that we got to see grown up Cecilia (she was in RF1). I have this silly headcanon that if Kyle doesn’t marry Mana, Nicholas (her friend in 1) comes to visit Cecilia one day in the hazy-post game future, and meets Mana, and they get together. While Yue is my favourite, I do genuinely like Mana a lot, and I just want her to find love, I guess.  

Here’s original Barrett! There’s a reason he was popular enough to make a reappearance (well, aside from the whole grumpy pretty boy thing he’s got going on) - he was a great character in this game. His and Dorothy’s relationship is also definitely the most compelling of the rival romances. Bonus Max, who also has a little shout-out in RF4 (check the diary in what will become Dylas’s bedroom at the start of the game)

Ray is male, but apparently he was originally going to be a female character, as he has an unused portrait in a wedding dress. My friend and I agree that this makes him a Trans Icon

Monster designs remain excellent. Especially the goblins

Skipping over Frontier (and also Oceans later), as I never got to play it growing up due to not having a console, and still haven’t got around to it - might try this summer. Except I do need to point out that these guys should be memes. I don’t know in what way. But they should.  

Rune Factory 3! My first RF game. The transformation thing was very cool, even if it was basically useless outside the main story. My friend and I spent hours mucking about in the WiFi dungeon. I loved the desert settlement and all of the dungeon designs in general, and man, RF3 is just great. I hope it gets a remake one day.

Raven Raven Raven! I LOVE Raven (as do most). Her story with Micah is the first time I can remember getting genuinely invested in a video game romance. I’m so glad she cameos in RF4. I love her. She’s wonderful.

I have an odd fondness for Marian. When I was about twelve, I decided to do a playthrough where I deliberately romanced the least popular bachelorette. After poking around on forums, I determined that character to be Marian, and did a run with her. And... I actually came to really like her. I find her endearing. I get that people find her annoying and don’t like her... unethical medical practices, but doing that run has still made me a pretty protective of her. It’s been a long time since I played RF3, so maybe I’d change my mind if I replayed now, but currently, as far as I’m concerned,  Marian’s a good’un.

I think I also used to low key ship her with Collette lol 

Pia’s official art has always been super weird to me because it’s so not what her character is like in-game. She’s a ditzy airhead. This makes her look so serious

RAINBOW! Another character whose art makes them look way more serious than they actually are. Daria is great and would be a meme if this game was more popular. I think she’s also implied to be a relative of Margaret. 

I’ve always been super confused about what Kuruna’s skirt is meant to be. Is it fur? Is it part of her shirt? Is it even a skirt at all?

Check it out, it’s the guy everyone would ship Micah with if this game was more popular

I want Zaid to make a reappearance and interact with Doug. Pretty sure it’s canon that they’re from the same clan? Think it would be very interesting.

RF3 definitely had the coolest farm. Also, still love the desert settlement.

This is from Oceans, so I have no context, but it’s just so cool that I had to share

Rune Factory 4. Culmination of the series is right - when I was playing it for the first time, I remember being blown away by just how much it is a true love letter to the franchise. I have never come across another game series that so consistently grew and improved from entry to entry. RF4 was a perfect ending.

Not that I’m complaining about getting RF5. Quite the opposite.

But if it had been the end (as we all thought it was until about a year ago), well, like I say. Perfect. 

Well. Aside from soda can nipples. Can’t believe they didn’t fix those. Though in some ways, that would have made me sad too

Dolce has such a cool design, in both human and monster form. I’ve always kind of crack-shipped her with Margaret, for no real reason at all

Vishnal! I love Vishnal. Vishnal is pure as heck. Marrying him this time around.

Doug! My choice from last time around. Another character who looks more serious in his official art than he is in-game (well... most of the time)

And then there’s Dylas, who looks much happier here than he does most of the time. Kind of looks like he and Doug swapped bodies, actually. There’s a fanfic prompt for you.

Their ship name is Dyldo. I love them

Leon is nostalgic for me mostly because my friend and I used to get into a lot of arguments about whether or not he’s the hottest character in the game. She maintains that he is, because muscles. I maintain that muscles aren’t actually that attractive. It is a rift that divides us to this day

(He looks oddly... younger in this art though? Weird)

Sechs Empire is such an unfortunate name. Seriously. How rushed was RF1′s localisation team? All those script errors, and then this (the Sechs were the antagonists in the first game, and were only referenced in passing in the rest until RF4 - so it was a bit of a ‘sins of the father’ situation by then).

Seriously, try saying ‘Sechs Emperor’ out loud and tell me you can take this man seriously 

I??? Love??? Them???

I??? LOVE??? THEM???

Still confused as to why Kiel, Xiao Pai, Arthur and Margaret are on the cover now. Don’t get me wrong, I like them, but... Amber, Dylas, Dolce and Leon made way more sense? Even the Archival Cover makes more sense (Vishnal, Clorica, Forte), as those three are all kind of Lest/Frey’s servants (well, Forte for the whole town, but still). Of those first four, all but Arthur basically lift right out of the game with little-to-no impact on the story

NO HAT TABATHA NO HAT TABATHA

I’ve always really loved this Raven picture

And I am thankful for you <3

[hidding-in-shadows]

Resbang 2019: hot for the teacher (chapter one)

Here is my piece for Resbang 2019! Chapters are going up every hour to finish it off and little a little room for antici------pation! When my lovely artist, ringochan, posts their art I will add the link for viewers! In the mean time, here you go!

Summary: Maka had always wanted to become someone who left their mark on the world; an inventor, a political leader, an author. She never thought her legacy would be educating eight-year-olds on how to read, multiply, and conduct experiments. Now, in her first year of teaching, Maka is realizing that being the top student in college is different from being an effective teacher in the classroom. And, it doesn’t help that her newly appointed co-teacher is annoyingly better than her. (And attractive.) As Maka struggles to push herself through the year and get through her perfectionism, her and her co-teacher, Soul, form a teaching bond that impresses even the snooty district personal. And themselves. Teacher/Elementary School AU. Warnings: sexual content, drinking, swearing, mental health, family/childhood trauma

Rated M Pairings: SoMa, SidxNyga, BlackStarxTsubaki

ffn link ao3 link

Chapter One below the cut!

She is up before the alarm goes off and she wonders if this is what first day jitters feels like even though it's not her first day. The kids don’t come for another week. It’s a mantra in her head, but her heart still flutters as she glances towards the outfit she had hanging on the closet door. Its a basic skirt and button down combo, but she’s beginning to doubt her choice. 

The beeping of the coffee machine pulls her away from the doubt and she shuffles out of the room. One cup of coffee later and she is deciding what cereal to eat. Chocolate bunnies or cinnamon bunnies? As she’s balancing the boxes in her hands, the familiar ringtone of my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and they’re like, it’s better than --

"I thought you slept in until the last minute,” Maka decides on the chocolate shaped bunnies as she answers. A laugh crackles over the phone and she winced. Just because her mind decided to wake up at five in the morning didn’t mean she wasn’t affected by the sharpness of Blake’s … everything. “Seriously, Blake, what’s up?”

“Don’t sound so excited to talk to your best friend, Maka,” the familiar voice fills her ear as she presses the phone between shoulder and cheek, “I wanted to check on you. First day jitters?”

“Can that even happen if it isn’t my official first day?”

“Kids come next week, Maks, and this week is going to be filled with silly meetings and trainings. Don’t be so nervous.”

“Well you’re a natural,” Maka hunts for a spoon in the clean side of her sink, “and you’ve been there for three years.”

“Everyone starts somewhere,” something in the background muffles Blake’s voice, “and three years isn’t a lot of time.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Maka begins to move the cereal around in her bowl, making sure every chocolate bunny is covered in milk before taking a bite. “We have to be there at seven-thirty, right?”

“Yes ma’am,” she rolls her eyes at his tone, “anyways, I just wanted to check up on you. I know how nerves can be and I need to make sure my college buddy is ready for the big world.”

“I think I was ready before I even went to college, Blake. Remember, it was you who thought I was in my final internship.”

“Eh, the past is the past. I’m gonna go.” The call ends abruptly and Maka puckers her lips as she looks at the End Call screen. He was never good at goodbyes. 

She sighs as she looks at the chocolate bunnies floating in her milk. She stirs them around a bit and suddenly is being pulled back into her thoughts. 

She graduated, moved across the county, and got a job, all in the year. She thinks back to her first day of college, walking into her Introduction to Education class and snickering when Blake Star, a crazed looking frat boy, waved her down because he wanted to complement her trench coat. He had asked if she was the other speaker coming in for the freshman. 

He then continued to talk and talk about how his junior year was going and his professors. He even asked her questions before answering them himself. After a full five minutes of him holding a conversation with just himself, she slumped down next to him in the chair and nodded along. The look in his eyes when she stood up and introduced herself as a student in the class was priceless.

Something wraps a warm tail around her leg, breaking Maka from her train of thought. She looks down to see her cat, lithe and black, curling around her leg. Her yellow eyes pierce up towards Maka. Maka leans down to give her a scratch under her chin. 

“Lilith,” Maka sighs as she discards the rest of her cereal onto the growing pile of dishes in her sink, “I hope everything goes okay today. I mean, I’m sure there will be some boring meetings and a lot of paperwork but ... ,” Maka stops and laughs to herself a little bit, “I am venting to my cat. And now I am talking to myself. Teacher brain has already begun.” 

--

The cafeteria has tables folded and pushed to the side and there are rows of chairs for the morning meeting. She is the first one in the room, and there’s a distinct smell of cream cheese and coffee in the air from the complimentary snack table in the corner. Maka shifts the bag on her shoulder and debates if she should move toward the front or fall into the back.

Before she can make a decision, the doors to the cafeteria swing open and Blake comes in with a bellowing laugh and two others behind him. His hair is dyed a neon blue, matching one of the school colors, and his green eyes twinkle. He sports an old school shirt for DWMA, gym shorts, and beat up Nikes, but Maka didn’t expect anything else from the P.E. teacher.

“Maks!” He hollars her name even though she is only a few feet away from him, “always the early bird.”

“Good morning to you too, Blake,” she smiles and her grip on her bag strap lessens. She moves toward the small group. Blake’s smile grows some more and then he blinks as if realizing something before twisting to the two people behind him.

“Barret, Nyga, this is Maka Albarn, the new third grade teacher! She’s my friend I told you guys about.”

Behind Blake are two other people, one man who stands a good head and a half taller than Blake and a woman who is about Blake’s height. They man’s dreadlocks fall just past his ears and his eyes are dark and warm as he gives Maka a smile. His hand is rough in her own when he shakes it. He wears similar attire to Blake, and Maka guesses he is the other P.E. teacher.

“Sid Barret, but everyone really goes by last names here,” his voice is deep and friendly, “and this is Mira Nyga-Barret, my wife. I work with Star here as a P.E. coach and Nyga here is our lovely math coach for the school.”

“So you’ll be seeing me a lot,” Nyga speaks and her voice is strong, as strong as her deep blue eyes, “I’ve heard good things about you from Star and Dr. Mortimor. I look forward to working with you this year.”

“Likewise,” Maka smiles and shakes Nyga’s hand as well, “I’m excited to start my career here. It feels unreal getting my first year position at DWMA.”

“Well, there’s a reason we have Academy in the name,” Barret begins to move towards the chair,s “you’ll start to notice, though, that as bright as our kids are, there are some troubles because of home situations. It wasn’t a mistake when Dr. Mortimor placed the Academy here.”

“It’s important that all kids have access to arts and science,” Maka says as she settles down in one of the chairs. They were in the middle of the rows, a comfortable distance from the front. 

“We pride ourselves in it,” Nygas adjusts herself, smoothing her hands over the long, dark blue skirt she wears,“especially the arts. Every year our art teacher has created a statue with the graduating fifth grade class. They’re placed all around the school. Maybe Blake can give you an official tour so you can see everything.”

“She’ll want to see her classroom first,” Blake leans back on two legs of the chair, hands clasped behind his head, “besides, I think Dr. Mortimor or Ms. Leon will do the tour. They kinda run this place.”

The doors open again and more voices fill the cafeteria. Barret excuses himself to go talk to the group that just walked in as Nyga and Blake begin to get into a conversation about scheduling. Maka sits with her bag between her feet and begins to fiddle with a loose string at the hem of her sweater. Slowly, as the cafeteria becomes filled with staff members, Maka’s nerves begin to increase. There’s easily fifty people in the cafeteria now, mingling and roaming around. Some talk and laugh while others are scroll on their phones. Maka feels welcomed and shut out all at the same time -- no one has eyed her up and down, but also no one has come over to welcome her to the school. She tries to slow down the blooming feeling of anxiety in her chest. 

“Welcome, welcome,” a high voice purrs over the intercom system in the cafeteria and everyone begins to lower their voices, “welcome back teachers and staff members! We have a meeting at seven thirty in the cafeteria with bagels and coffee, complimentary from the PTA. Make sure to grab a snack, find a seat, and get ready for some icebreakers to start us off right for this new year!” 

“You must be the new third grade teacher,” the voice came from beside her and Maka jumps slightly as she turns to see a woman older than her standing there. Her blonde hair is cut short and choppy, and it holds a slight curl. She wears a black turtleneck and dark business pants, and Maka can tell from the look in her hazel eyes that this woman is judging her. 

“Yeah, I’m Maka Albarn,” she plasters her best real-looking-fake-smile on as she holds her hand out, “excited to be joining the team!”

The woman looks at Maka’s hand for a moment before reaching out and shaking it. Her long black nails tap against Maka’s skin. “Medusa Gorgon. I’m the other third grade teacher. I’m right next door to you.”

“So will you be my mentor?” Maka asks, letting her hand fall into her lap while Medusa raises a perfectly plucked eyebrow into a deep arch. “I mean, when I went to my new teacher orientation they told me --,”

“Wait, you’re a first year teacher?” Medusa points a finger towards Maka as if accusing her of something. Maka’s eyes go crossed for a moment as they track the nail. She looks back to Medusa. She simply nods with her tight smile and Medusa purses her lips before returning an equally tight smile. “Well, it looks like we’ll be working pretty closely. I’m going to have to guide you towards not screwing the kids up too bad this year.”

“Excuse me?”

“Maks!” Blake’s voice cuts through the tension that is beginning to build between the two teachers and they both look to see the man standing a few chairs away, hands on hips and stupid grin plastered to his face. “Come get some snacks. I can introduce you to some of the others!”

“Well, that’s my cue,” Maka stands and hoists her bag onto her shoulder. She gives Medusa another smile, “I look forward to working with you this year.”

“Likewise,” Medusa’s eyes trail over Maka one last time before she turns on a heel and goes towards the front of the cafeteria. There is a tight, eerie feeling in Maka’s belly, but she pushes it down and turns to join Blake at the bagel table.

“The Thompson Sisters,” Blake makes a wide arm gesture towards two women who look like they should be models instead of working in a school. 

The tall one has her hair down, long and straight, glossy in the fluorescent light. Her features are slightly accentuated with makeup and she smiles with her pink tinted lips. The outfit she wears looks like it has been pulled straight out of a teacher Instagram account; light washed high waisted jeans, a pale green button down blouse, and a slightly over large tan-and-brown plaid blazer. She’s tall and slim, but the heeled boots she wears make her even taller, closer to Barret’s height. 

The girl next to her is the total opposite, though equally stunning. Her face is round and her cheeks are dusted pink. Baby blue eyes sparkle under thick lashes and she has a bubbly smile as she reaches out for a hug. Her dress sways around her calves as she moves in and squeals as she squeezes Maka against her chest.

“Maka Albarn! Our new third grade teacher! I am so excited to work with you!” The bubbly woman’s voice matches her personality perfectly. 

"Star's told us a lot about you," the tall one smiles and it's blindingly beautiful. "I'm Elizabeth, but you can call me Liz. Patti is the one who goes by Ms. Thompson."

"Thanks for the warm welcome," Maka pulls back and blushes under their gaze, "and I hope it's all good things he’s told you."

"Well graduating top of your class with recommendations from almost all your professors is quite a sign," Liz waves her hand in the air, her pale pink nails manicured to perfection, "I may have peeked into your files online. I'm the family services and volunteer coordinator by the way. So you'll see me running around here."

"And I'm the school counselor," the other one, Patti Thompson, said. "I'll be coming in to talk to your kiddos during the school year. You'll hear from me a lot."

"Let's not overwhelm her just yet, girls," Blake clasps a hand on Maka’s shoulder and flashes his usual big, dumb grin, "the Doc should be in soon to start this thing off. Let's go back to our seats, Maks."

Maka settles back down with Blake next to her and Barret on the other side. It felt odd being between the two P.E. coaches, but something inside of Maka tells her she should stay as separated from Medusa as she can before the school year starts. The chattering in the cafeteria had begun to settle down and soon everyone was facing the stage, waiting for Dr. Mortimor to come out. The clock ticks and ticks, people whisper, and then finally the man steps out on stage.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” his voice is high and holds a playful tone. Dr. Mortimor is a tall man, towering on the stage, and he wears a crisp black suit with a pale blue shirt underneath it. His black hair is gelled back, hazel eyes sparkling behind a pair for wide, black rimmed glasses. His mustache is twisted at the ends, and Maka imagines his smile hidden behind it as if he were a cartoon character.

“Welcome back,” Dr. Mortimor continues with arms outstretched, “as you may have noticed, there are a few new faces around here! I want us to go around and introduce ourselves quickly, then we’ll get into our real icebreaker activity!”

Her heart pounds at the mention of an icebreaker activity, but Maka knew this would happen. She’s a teacher for goodness sakes, she designs icebreaker activities for a living. But, even as people introduce themselves and their jobs, along with something they did over the summer, Maka feels her heart sped up as her time comes closer and closer. The sentences she is going say repeat in her mind as everyone goes, and soon it’s Nyga’s turn, then Barrets, then hers.

“Good morning,” she smiles and silently curses at herself at the way her voice hitches, “I’m Maka Albarn. I’m the new third grade teacher. Something fun I did over the summer was get an apartment.”

“Where is it,” someone calls out.

“Grigori Gardens,” Maka wrings her hands in front of her, “and this is my first year teaching.”

Some people let out a congratulations and others give a simple clap. Maka pushes her flush down and nods at everyone before taking her seat. Blake springs up next to her and starts going off as Maka tries to breath and calm down her nerves. She was used to speaking in front of a group of five year olds, last year she spent the whole school year in a kindergarten class for her final internship. Standing in front of a bunch of adults was a totally different story. 

Once everyone had introduced themselves, they turned their chairs toward a large projector screen that was lowered above the stage.. 

“Time to do our quick icebreaker! Mrs. Leon will be passing around a slip of paper to everyone. I want you to do Two Truths and a Lie. Then we will go around and share with small groups with Life Boats! Directions are on the powerpoint let’s go-go-go!”

The man’s peppy personality did not match that of his outward appearance, and Maka noted that she might need to be extra-extroverted with the man. She receives her slip from Mrs. Leon, the assistant principal who had a dazzling smile and a perfectly tailored power suit. The activity is pretty simple and fun, she gets into three different groups and everyone laughs and guesses at what the truths are and what the lies are. She gets to meet a few other teachers; two fifth grade teachers, a resource teacher, and the art teacher that was mentioned before. Once the activity is over, a few details regarding the weeks schedule are given, then the teachers are dismissed to their rooms.

“I can show you your classroom,” Blake slaps his knees and jumps out of his seat, “and help you move stuff. We don’t have too much to do right now, plus, Barrett said he would be the ball-checker today and I just needed to clean up the office.”

“Thanks, Star,” Maka sighs as she stands, adjusting her bag on her shoulder, “I have a lot though, are you sure you’ve got time?”

“For you Maks, anything.”

--

“You really do have a lot of shit,” Blake huffs, a sweat breaking out across his forehead as he places the last box down. Maka nods and takes in the room. It is large and carpeted. When she walked in, she literally gasped. Looking into the class, there is a smartboard mounted to the left wall, then three, tall ceiling windows on the opposite wall to the door. Another door is diagonally across the room, an emergency escape. Then, the wall where the main entrance was was covered with a large whiteboard and two corkboards flanking it. There weren’t many corkboard spaces, and Maka knew she would have to figure out how to decorate them later, but everything is lovely.

There is even a large wall of cabinetry against the wall across from the smartboard and an island where a few laptops and tablets are piled up. Desks are scattered around the room, and various group tables. Three large bookshelves are in a corner and she already knows she is going to move them. Her boxes sat stacked near the entrance, piled high, along with furniture she had brought. 

“Well, I’m gonna head off now,” Blake wipes his forehead with the back of his hand, “let me know if you need anything, okay Maks?”

“You got it,” she smiles, “thanks again.”

He leaves and Maka ties her hair up tighter and gets to work. It’s hours of moving desks, humming to herself, and dusting things off. She hunts through all the cabinets, making piles of math, science, and reading resources and another pile of garbage. The desks are arranged into the center of the room and the book shelves are standing side-by-side against one of the tall windows when it’s all done. There’s decorations laying around, random piles that no one could deceiver, except for her. She is laying on the group carpet, sweaty and exhausted by the time five o’clock hits. And there’s still so much more to do. 

“Wow, you didn’t get much done did you?” a voice calls and Maka jumps, sitting straight up. She turns toward where the voice came from, a door that connects her classroom to the one next door, and sees Medusa Gorgon leaning on the door frame. 

“Yeah, I mean, I went through all the cabinets and piled some stuff up so I knew what to do with it tomorrow,” Maka stands up and brushes at her skirt, “what about you?”

“Oh, I’m all set,” Medusa looks at her nails, “student’s desks are arranged, set up the library, even got to laminate a handful of questions stems for my small groups.”

“Sound productive,” Maka leans back on her heels, “well, I think I am going to head out now, it’s getting late and I live pretty far still.”

“You’re going to leave it like this?” she raises a perfectly plucked eyebrow at the state of the room. “Well, I guess so, if you’re planning on coming early tomorrow.”

“I-I wasn’t,” Maka feels herself flush with frustration and embarrassment, “but I’m confident that everything will get done.”

“Cute,” Medusa’s tone is flat and she pushes off of the doorframe, “well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Have a good night,” the door slams as Maka says her goodbye and she feels herself scowl. Who knows how this will work out.

She takes one last look at her room, heart fluttering with excitement and nervousness. Her teammate may have some discouraging words, but Maka knew how she felt. Confident, sure, and down right ready for her own students.

[bearingwater]

July Forecast for Aquarius

Surrender to change, Aquarius—it’s coming whether you like it or not. July is a month of many expressions from above, including two alchemical eclipses, a rare double-header of new moons bookending the month and (eek!) communication planet Mercury spinning retrograde from July 7 to 31. There won’t be a dull moment on deck, Aquarius—so brace yourself for an active month that could transform you in crucial ways.

Against the backdrop of the Sun in Cancer and your sixth house of health, fitness and organization (until July 22), a July 2 total solar (new moon) eclipse lands in Cancer, jolting you into action. Is it time to go full KonMari on your clutter? Or maybe change your habits around eating and exercise? You may get doctor’s orders to do so, or the urge might come from a desire to reconnect to your body. The way you’ve structured your life could have pieces falling through the cracks, and this cosmic event is your unsubtle prompt to shift your systems, stat! At the July 2 Cancer solar eclipse, a powerful new six-month cycle of vitality opens up.

This is the midway point in a series of eclipses falling on the Cancer/Capricorn axis between July 2018 and July 2020, activating your analytical sixth house (ruled by Cancer) and your twelfth house of spirituality and release (ruled by Capricorn). For the past year, you’ve been transforming the balance between mind and spirit, control and surrender. There have been moments that awakened you to a need to be more alert and attentive or to more deeply connect to the earth. (We have THREE Aquarius friends who have turned their land into small organic farms in the past year!)

The second eclipse might require you to keep a few friends on standby for emotional support. On July 16, a Capricorn lunar (full moon) eclipse will land in your twelfth house of closure, healing and transitions. A chapter of your life may come to an abrupt end, and all the attendant emotions can surge up just as suddenly. If you haven’t dealt with grief or mourned a loss, this could be one of those long-awaited “ugly cry” days that helps you heal. With alchemical Pluto riding close to this full moon, the intensity is multiplied.

This eclipse might also bring a spiritual awakening, a soulmate encounter or a moment of profound epiphanies. You may see someone’s true colors—and the palette could be shocking. This eclipse may expose a secret or bring hidden information to light. Look back to January 6, 2019, when a corresponding Capricorn solar eclipse set events into motion. Since astrology is cyclical, endings clear the way for beginnings. Trust that if you have to release anything, it’s for the highest good—even if whatever’s “next” doesn’t immediately show up. In fact, breathing through the unknown instead of anxiously trying to micromanage events will be your biggest—and most rewarding—spiritual challenge.

In between, there could be a couple moments that starkly expose the “control freak” that we all have within us. Control is an outcropping of fear, after all. And you’ll get a front-row seat to some of your own untended anxieties when the Cancer Sun forms its annual oppositions to Saturn (July 9) and Pluto (July 14) in Capricorn and your illusion-fueled twelfth house.

Your mission: To uncover where more boundaries are needed in your life. Have you fallen into a role of codependent enabling and sacrifice? As the Sun opposes boundary-hound Saturn and power-player Pluto, you may need to cut some of those cords in no uncertain terms. Or, if you’ve put up TOO many barriers, you’ll see where to let go and open yourself up to receiving support. You may have to trade some ego or a sense of control—but it will be a small price to pay for feeling like others have your back!

Adding to the fun, Mercury will be retrograde from July 7 to 31. It will split its time between Leo and your partnership zone (until July 19) and Cancer, ruler of your health and organization zone, from July 19 to 31. Shore up your defenses around travel, technology and communication, all areas that can be affected by chaos when Mercury goes rogue. Triple-check reservations, back up data and practice extreme patience!

During the Leo leg, take extra precautions in your closest relationships. Explain yourself with explicit clarity and check to make sure the other person REALLY heard you. Try the mirroring technique, silly as it may feel, where one person says something and the other answers to the tune of, “What I hear you saying is…” then adjust as needed. Contracts fall under the seventh house AND Mercury’s domain, so tread lightly (if at all) around signing any paperwork. If people seem to misunderstand you at every turn, take a deep breath and try again! Be sure to extend the same courtesy to others as well.

With argumentative Mars in Leo and your partnership house all month, it will be extra challenging to get on the same page. And when Mars plows into a fiery square to your co-ruler, volatile Uranus, on July 11, you could reach a breaking point. A family member or living-situation stress might be the straw that breaks the camel’s back if you’re not careful.

Really watch those stress levels when Mercury backs into Cancer and your wellness zone from July 19 to 31. Avoid multitasking or taking on too much, especially since you’ll be susceptible to a late-summer cold or flu. Wash your hands regularly and avoid anyone who’s sniffling or hacking!

Camaraderie could light the way starting July 22, when the Sun swings into Leo and your partnership zone for a month. While you may feel a bit low-power now, you’ll have people to lean on coming through. Cut back on all the extraneous social engagements and focus on the folks who truly have your back. One of them could rise up as an incredible friend and champion on July 25, when Mars in Leo forms a flowing trine to effusive Jupiter in your camaraderie zone. And who knows…maybe there’s something beyond just friendship in the cards for you, whether that’s a romantic relationship or a business alliance. With these two excitable planets aligning, it’s a perfect day to explore possibilities! You don’t have to commit to anything…just enjoy that blue-sky dreaming.

The first moment to even CONSIDER making it official doesn’t come until July 31, when Mercury ends its retrograde (amen!) and a rare second new moon lands in Leo, cutting a six-month trail into your zone of committed relationships. Between now and next February, something beautiful could unfold if you play your cards right. Follow the synergies and see what happens. Or, if you’re ready to take it official, this new moon could prompt talks of getting serious.

Love & Romance

With impassioned Mars roaring through Leo and your dynamic-duos zone from July 1 to August 18, all kinds of partnerships heat up, from romantic to professional to creative. Couples might find themselves arguing a lot—perhaps over the pettiest of problems—yet at the same time feel ever more attracted to each other. Lusty Mars can crank up the sexual chemistry AND the combativeness, so be prepared for both.

One thing to stay aware of: Expressive Mercury is going retrograde this month, and from July 7 to 19 the reversal happens in Leo. During this cycle, miscommunications can abound with your romantic partner and close connections. Anticipate this by being extra clear about what you’re conveying and don’t make assumptions. If you must get something off your chest, be sure to do it when both parties are able to really hear each other. Springing a “we need to talk” on someone out of the blue will NOT get you the response you hope for.

July 16 features the year’s only Capricorn full moon—also a potent lunar eclipse—in your twelfth house of release, fantasy and healing. If you’re in a solid relationship (or have one in development), surrender to soulmate-style love. If you’re barely hanging on in a union that’s passed its expiration date, this lunar push could be the thing that helps you cut bait. Single? Be vulnerable and willing to stretch beyond “the usual.” That’s when the magic can happen!

Should any misunderstandings arise between July 3 and 27—which is kind of inevitable when Mercury is retrograde—tactful Venus in soothing Cancer will support you in talking things through diplomatically. And since Venus is in your analytical sixth house, you’ll be able to keep enough emotional perspective to not get defensive or be inappropriately giving (read: codependent).

Wherever you land at the end of the month, a bold and loving Leo new moon on July 31 extends an olive branch and helps you make any kind of fresh start you desire. Start over, go deeper, reinvent the whole relationship: The world is your amorous oyster!

Key Dates

July 17: Venus-Saturn Opposition You may not be in the kindest, gentlest mood today, as “by the book” Saturn faces off with sensitive Venus in your nitpicking sixth house. Your instinct might be to lash out at someone or get defensive if anyone so much as suggests you try to do something a little differently. Ouch! Deal with the real issues, but anything that might be more in the “molehill” category, leave it alone for now.

Money & Career

Back to reality, Aquarius? July’s financial stars are delivered without any window dressing as the Sun travels through Cancer and your practical, analytical sixth house. This zodiac realm also rules wellness—and your “fiscal fitness” could be put to the test by the first of two groundbreaking eclipses. On July 2, a Cancer total solar (new moon) eclipse could catapult you into a new line of work, perhaps one that involves sustainability, health or data. Check in on your stress levels while you’re at it. Today’s world is a pressure cooker, and that can take a toll on your physical state. With Mercury retrograde from July 7 to 31 (in Cancer from July 19 on), you’ll want to seriously filter the information you take in. If it leaves you feeling upset and fearful, it’s okay to change the channel—or walk away from that screen.

A second eclipse on July 16 could bring a major turning point. Is it time to say “enough already!” and wave the white flag? Because this lunar (full moon) eclipse is in Capricorn and your twelfth house of endings and transitions, a part of your life that no longer serves you could be “eclipsed” away. No more hanging on by your teeth, Aquarius. Make space for new relationships instead of staying mired in struggle. Remember: Suffering is optional! When you quit trying to force an outcome and surrender to a bigger plan, miracles can and will arise. And they’ll come through the NEW people you allow into your life. As the Sun enters Leo and your partnership house on July 22, prepare to make contact with some fascinating folks who can help you on your path! On July 31, the day of the Leo new moon (and the end of Mercury retrograde), someone’s promises could materialize. You’ll know who’s solidly on Team Aquarius soon enough!

Key Dates

July 9: Sun-Saturn Opposition Guard the perimeter! You’d love to let the whole world into your inner circle, but until someone has proved their trustworthiness, keep private info under wraps around them. It’s not being paranoid—in this age of rampant identify theft, an Aquarian can’t be too safe!

Love Days: 28, 4 Money Days: 11, 20 Luck Days: 9, 18 Off Days: 2, 7, 16

[honeypiehotchner]

Safe -- part one

Oh goodness. Hello! Here I go again with another story. This is my first ever Mycroft x reader, so I hope you all enjoy! This one is rather close to my heart and will get dark/emotional at times. Themes like PTSD, anxiety, depression, and such will come up, so please be safe in reading this. Take care of yourselves. That all being said, welcome to Safe.

Oh, and this dialogue is borrowed from “The Empty Hearse” because the line “I’m not lonely, Sherlock,” literally birthed this story (that’s strange but true). Anywho. Continue.

“Oh, bugger!”

           “Oopsie. Can’t handle a broken heart, how very telling?”

           “Don’t be smart.”

           Sherlock leans back in his chair. “That takes me back.” He prepares himself and begins mocking his older brother, “Don’t be smart, Sherlock. I’m the smart one.”

           “I am the smart one.”

           “I used to think I was idiot.”

           Mycroft smiles in amusement. “Both of us thought you were an idiot, Sherlock. We had nothing else to go on until we met other children.”

           “Oh, yes, that was a mistake.”

           “Ghastly. What were they thinking of?”

           “Probably something about trying to make friends,” Sherlock replies rather pointedly.

           “Oh, yes. Friends. Of course, you go in for that sort of thing now.”

           “And you don’t? Ever?” Another pointed question.

           Mycroft sighs as his brother, once again, goes off-topic. “If you seem slow to me, Sherlock, can you imagine what real people are like? I’m living in a world of goldfish.”

           Sherlock furrows his eyebrows. “Yes, but I’ve been away for two years.”

           “So?”

“Oh, I don’t know, I thought perhaps you might have found yourself a…goldfish.” Another pointed statement. Sherlock is trying to steer the conversation somewhere he knows Mycroft doesn’t want it to go. But Mycroft fancies someone. Sherlock is sure of it.

“Change the subject. Now.” Mycroft quickly stands, having had enough of his brother’s antics, but he can’t exactly leave because this conversation isn’t over.

This is when you walk in, nearly groaning aloud because all you want is some damn milk to put in your tea, and when the Holmes brothers are in the same room together, one simple task is never that simple. One of them is bound to notice something about you that you don’t even notice after picking yourself apart in the mirror, thus lowering your self-esteem and your patience – which is already so thin today that you feel like you might snap.

“Rest assured, Mycroft, whatever this underground network of yours is up to the secret will reside in something seemingly insignificant or bizarre.”

“Ooh-hoo,” Mrs. Hudson makes her presence known as she walks in behind you, holding a tray of tea.

“Speaking of which,” Mycroft comments.

You stop in the doorway to the kitchen, clearing your throat rather loudly, which in turn causes Mycroft to meet your heated glare. Mrs. Hudson is like a mother to you. And you never stand for any indirect or direct slander toward her.

“Apologies,” he says quickly, and even though you know he doesn’t mean it, you nod firmly and continue into the kitchen. It’s better than nothing.

Sherlock watches the encounter with narrowed eyes as Mrs. Hudson continues speaking. “I can’t believe it. I just can’t believe it. Him, sitting in his chair again. Oh, isn’t it wonderful, Mr. Holmes?”

“I can barely contain myself,” Mycroft replies dryly, and you really do try to muffle the giggle that comes out of your mouth, but you fail.

Oh, fine. You’ve had a ridiculous crush on Mycroft Holmes from the day you met him and every time you think about it you want to throw yourself out a window. How ironic for you. Your past relationships have failed because you were too clingy but somehow not clingy enough, so what kind of sense does it make for you to fancy a man who doesn’t know the first thing – nor does he seem to care about having a romantic relationship?

No damn sense at all, that’s what. But you suppose it must be for a reason.

You return unsatisfied from the kitchen – Sherlock doesn’t have any milk – to find Mrs. Hudson has gone and the brothers are still going at it.

“Let’s do deductions,” you hear Sherlock say.

“Absolutely not,” is your reply because you believe they’re going to deduce you, but after seeing Sherlock pick up a hat one of his clients left, you let out a little sigh of relief.

“I’m busy,” Mycroft replies after catching the hat.

“Oh, go on, it’s been an age.”

He pauses to sniff the article. “I always win.”

“Which is why you can’t resist.”

“Here we go,” you roll your eyes, but you don’t leave the flat like you had intended. You’ve always loved to listen to Mycroft make deductions, as idiotic as it sounds. As long as they aren’t deducing you when you’re not in the mood, then you’re okay with it. His intelligence is attractive, you won’t deny that.

“I find nothing irresistible in the hat of a well-traveled, anxious, sentimental, unfit creature of habit with appalling halitosis,” he breathes. “Damn.”

You snicker as he tosses the hat back to his brother, Sherlock settling in with his own deductions. You decide to make yourself a cup of tea from the tray Mrs. Hudson left because you know neither of them are going to have one anyway.

“Isolated, too, don’t you think?”

“Why would he be isolated?”

           “He?”

           “Obviously.”

           “Why? Size of the hat?”

           “Don’t be silly. Some women have large heads, too.”

           They’re not even talking about you, and yet your insecurities slip in. Is your head too big? That’s stupid to think, stop it.

           “No, he’s recently had his hair cut. You can see the little hairs adhering to the perspiration stains on the inside.”

           “Some women have short hair, too,” Sherlock mumbles.

           “Balance of probability.”

           That phrase. You keep meaning to put it on a t-shirt for Mycroft. You almost let out another giggle as you settle onto the couch, your tea in hand, just imagining Mycroft opening that on Christmas. That would be a sight to see – and record for future laughter.

           “Not that you’ve ever spoken to a woman with short hair, or, you know, a woman.”

           Your eyes widen at Sherlock’s accusation. Is he trying to annoy his brother extra hard today or something? He does that enough just by existing – they both do – but he’s almost trying a little too hard today.

           “Stains show he’s out of condition. And he’s sentimental because the hat has been repaired three…f—”

           “Five times,” Sherlock tosses it back. “Very neatly. The cost of the repairs exceeds the cost of the hat, so he’s mawkishly attached to it. But it’s more than that. One, perhaps two patches would indicate sentimentality, but five? Five’s obsessive behavior. Obsessive-compulsive.”

           “Hardly. Your client left it behind. What sort of an obsessive-compulsive would do that? The earlier patches are extensively sun-bleached, so he’s worn it abroad. In Peru.”

           Seriously, how do they see this stuff?

           “Peru?”

           “This is a Chullo. The classic headgear of the Andes, it’s made of Alpaca.”

           “Nope.”

           “No?”

           “Icelandic sheep wool. Similar, but very distinctive, if you know what you’re looking for. I’ve written a blog on the varying tensile strengths of nature fibers. You said he was anxious?”

           “The bobble on the left side has been badly chewed, which shows he’s a man of a nervous disposition, but…”

           “But also a creature of habit because he hasn’t chewed the bobble on the right.”

           You smirk around the edge of your cup when Mycroft gives you a rather tired look when Sherlock begins talking over him. You try your hardest to ignore the sudden jolt your heart gives at Mycroft’s eyes when they settle on you, quickly averting your own gaze to the newspaper on the cushion beside you.

           “Precisely,” Mycroft deadpans.

           Sherlock sniffs the hat. “A brief sniff of the offending bobble tells us everything we need to know about the state of his breath. Brilliant.”

           “Elementary.”

           “But you’ve missed his isolation.”

           “I don’t see it.”

           Your eyes lift to see what Sherlock is going on about.

           “Plain as day.”

           “Where?”

           “There for all to see.”

           You smirk, returning to the newspaper. Sherlock is teasing him. That’s always a sight.

           “Tell me.”

           “Plain as the nose…”

           “Tell me!”

           “Well, anybody who wears a hat as stupid as this isn’t in the habit of hanging around other people, is he?”

           You blink. That was aggressive.

           “Not at all. Maybe he just doesn’t mind being different. He doesn’t necessarily have to be isolated.”

           “Exactly,” Sherlock replies, rather knowingly. This comment makes you lift your eyes for a final time to see what’s happening.

           Mycroft blinks at his brother in confusion. “I’m sorry?”

           Now you’re confused, too.

           “He’s different, so what? Why would he mind? You’re quite right.” Sherlock pauses, and you watch as he places the hat atop his head. You furrow your eyebrows. “Why would anyone mind?”

           Your eyes shift to Mycroft for a response. He stares at his younger brother, his mouth opening to form a reply, but it takes him a few seconds.

           “I’m not lonely, Sherlock.”

           You don’t even need to see Sherlock’s face to know he’s giving his brother a rather harsh look. “How would you know?”

           Your eyes widen, suddenly feeling like you just decided to sit in on a rather personal conversation when you thought this was going to be some friendly deducting. Apparently not.

           Mycroft sends you another tired look, but it doesn’t take an idiot to see the confused revelation behind his eyes. Mycroft Holmes, lonely? Even that puzzles you.

           “Yes. Back to work, if you don’t mind. Good morning,” he nods at you, turning to walk out of the flat.

           Mrs. Hudson chuckles from the kitchen, but you’re too shocked to say anything, your mouth hanging open only slightly.

           “Right. Back to work.”

           You lean to the side, out of Sherlock’s way as he steps up onto the couch beside you to study his growing array of pictures on the wall. All for this terrorist bomb case of sorts. Nothing fazes you anymore.

           But Sherlock pauses, remembering your reaction and your actions and making a quick deduction. It takes you all of two seconds to notice he’s staring at you, and to realize what’s coming.

           “Here we go,” you breathe, settling in for his daily deduction. You set down the newspaper, heaving a sigh as you lean your head back to look at him. “What is it now?”

           “Do you fancy my brother?”

           You blink, and you don’t have to worry about your facial expressions giving you away this time because your face is frozen in shock. “I’m sorry?”

           “You fancy my brother.”

           “Sherlock—”

           “Your cheeks colored when he looked at you and you addressed him as soon as you walked in. If it was anyone else here, you would have went back to your flat. But you stayed to listen and repeatedly made eye contact.” He pauses. “You—”

           “Okay, that’s enough of that.” You set your tea down on the table, flashing Sherlock a unamused smile. “Good morning.”

           And you leave the flat as quickly as your legs can carry you.

 ~~~

John tries not to worry when he finds you on his couch an hour later because he did tell you that you are welcome here whenever – and he meant it – but it is slightly worrying when you have your hands covering your eyes, and when you’re lying down.

           “Bad day?”

           “The worst,” you reply, accepting your dramatics with full-force. “Mycroft was in Sherlock’s flat when I walked up.”

           John stills in the doorway. You had told him months ago that you fancied Mycroft only because he kept pestering you about the subject, and when you finally told him, his heart honestly broke for you a little.

           “Is it Sherlock? It’s Sherlock, isn’t it?” Not that John would particularly like the idea, but it is plausible.

           “No, John, it’s not Sherlock, good God.” The last person you could see yourself falling for is Sherlock Holmes.

           “That’s a relief,” he chuckles, meaning it more than you think. “Well, then who?”

           You grimace. “Don’t hate me when I say it.”

           “I’m not going to hate you, Y/N.”

           “Mycroft.”

           John blinks. “Sorry what?”

           “There, I said it! I fancy Mycroft fucking Holmes, the single most irritating human on this planet behind his brother, and I fancy him. Like an idiot. I fancy him.” You pause, holding your head in your hand. “It’s bad. Really bad.”

           It was bad months ago, and it’s still bad now. You always thought the feeling would go away, you know? Mycroft can be irritating, and he isn’t around much, so maybe the distance would provide you with some time to get over your feelings. You thought it was a simple crush, one that would go away after a week or two.

           But distance makes the heart grow fonder couldn’t be anymore true in this instance, and it makes you want to punch a wall.

           And John knows this. You even told him that you knew Mycroft obviously was not the type of man to even have a romantic relationship, so you knew you are doomed, and you had accepted your fate. But John hates seeing you like this. He wants you to be happy, and maybe have a happy relationship one day. It’s unfortunate your heart is set at the moment on someone who doesn’t exactly see relationships – or friendships for that matter – in the same way you do.

           “How’s the…feelings?” John isn’t sure how to word it properly, and he doesn’t exactly want to ask you outright.

           You know what he’s referring to, though, and you groan and sit up. “Still alive, and still ridiculously raging. And now Sherlock knows.”

           “Bloody hell,” John mutters, coming to sit next to you on the couch. “How did he find out?”

           “He’s Sherlock Holmes, how do you think he found out? Same way he found out I had seen my abuser at the café the other– Dammit.”

           You hadn’t told John about the diner the other day. And you weren’t planning to, really, because he worries. But it’s too late for that now.

           “You saw him again? When?”

           “The other day,” you wave his concern away. “We’re not going to talk about my stupid crush?”

           “That can wait. Did he hurt you?”

           “No, John, I’m fine,” you sigh. “He just sat down, and I had to serve him.”

           “How did that go?”

           “It didn’t,” you chuckle darkly. “Anne took him for me. I went on break. For an hour.”

           John’s expression turns sad. “I’m so sorry.”

           “It’s fine, really,” you shake your head. “He hasn’t shown up again, so all is fine.”

           “If you say so. But tell me if you see him again,” John breathes, leaning back into the couch. He wishes you’d tell him about these things, but he knows you don’t like to talk about it, so he changes the subject. “Do you think Sherlock told him?”

           “What?”

           “Do you think Sherlock told Mycroft?”

           Your eyes widen. “I hadn’t even thought of that, fuck! I’m going to have to move out of the country. This is the end.”

           John lets out a loud laugh, patting your leg. “Don’t be so dramatic.”

           “I have to. It’s how I cope.”

           John smirks, reaching over to rub circles on your back. “You’ll be fine.”

           “I’m not so sure about that.”

           He gives you a look.

           “Dramatics, Johnny. I’ll be fine. I need to just get over myself.”

           John sighs, motioning for you to sit up. You do, accepting his hug as he tugs you into his chest. “You’ve always had a big heart, Goldie. You’ll be okay.”

           “Goldie?” You chuckle, giving John a funny look. “You haven’t called me that in a while.”

           “Do you not like it?”

           “No, I’ve missed it,” you reply sheepishly. “Thank you for letting me be dramatic.”

           “Anytime,” he pats your shoulder. “I’ve gotta go to work now, but you’re welcome to stay and raid the fridge. I just did the shopping yesterday.”

           “Ooh, did you get my favorite biscuits?”

           He smiles. “Yes. Top shelf.”

           “Yes! Thank you!” You grin, jumping up from the couch to run into the kitchen. You turn around from the counter, going back to the where John is. “Have fun at work.”

           John shakes his head at your animated nature, but nonetheless grateful that you’ve gotten it back. It seems to be the first time in years since you’ve been this way, and he knows why, but he’s glad to see this side of you back.

[tampon-on-the-sidewalk]

Kaden Watches the 2014 Grand Final

First off, I AM SO STINKIN HAPPY THAT IT ISN’T REGION BLOCKED I legit cried when I saw they uploaded it to the official youtube. This was the first show that I was able to watch live and be on Tumblr during, and it was such a fun, amazing time. I’ve been wanting to watch it in full again but couldn’t find it anywhere, and the DVD is extremely rare. 

All of my thoughts under the cut, enjoy as this American watches the grand final for the third time since it aired. Feel free to watch along! 

Ukraine: I still have this song on my Spotify playlist tbh it’s such a bop. I still love the hamster wheel as a prop and the vocals are pretty on point after the first verse.

Belarus: Hilariously enough I literally JUST listened to this in the car on my way home XD Another iconic song, honestly this whole year was pretty great. The background dancers are a mood. The vocals are pretty great, and it’s just such a silly and fun song. Plus I remember all the memes from this performance XD

Azerbaijan: I don’t remember this song?? But she has such a gorgeous voice omg. not to mention the TRAPEZE. Golly this is such a great performance. Also that dress is absolutely stunning

Iceland: Another absolute bop and meme song that I listened to for years after this. This is just. Such a fun song and the LOVE pose at the end always gets me  

Norway: Why does he look like Kobi Marimi. Okay but real talk it’s a pretty ballad, but that’s really it. Not something I should watch close to bed. But seriously he reminds me SO MUCH of Kobi and I have no clue why. Something in the eyes. 

Side note, I forgot how great the postcards were for this year.

Romania: I prefer Playing With Fire, but this was still very fun. Always a sucker for the 360 piano. 

Armenia: This song was so strange to me when I first heard it, and it still is now. There’s something charming about it though. A simple performance but still really captivating. 

Montenegro: Another song I don’t remember? Love the ice skating and the graphics on the floor. His voice is very rich and I always love when an artist sings in their native tongue.

Poland: I had to skip this one =w=‘’ I could barely stomach it when I first watched it. Too much fanservice and the song is awful. I’ve heard other songs by them and they are so much better.

Greece: This plays on Spotify every so often. I really like it, it’s definitely a great party tune and songs like something you’d hear at an American dance club. It’s definitely a lot of fun. Not to mention I love the raps =w= Also the trampoline is great =w= singing while on a trampoline is super not easy

Austria: MY HEART Okay Conchita stole my heart from the first time watching and I have both albums(PLEASE listen to the newest one). Absolutely stunning as always and just. U g h so many feelings. I’m just a puddle of tears again.

Germany: Another one that I still play all the time, I just love the traditional instruments in this. The vocals live aren’t the best, but seriously heroutfit is a look. Oddly enough something in her face reminds me of a good friend of mine. Honestly this performance really feels.. forced =w=‘ Love the song, not too much of a fan of the live. Also the accordion player lowkey looks like Anna Kendrick mixed with Lena. The ad libbing at the end really didn’t sit well to me.

Sweden: While this song did nothing for me when I first heard it, I revisited this performance a year later when I lived with my parents and became absolutely OBSESSED with this song. I still absolutely love it. listen to that CROWD. Great vocals.All the Sanna wigs in the crowd tho

France: Another fun song,  the one guy reminded me of Weerd Al upon first watching it but now? He actually low key reminds me of Michal Szpak. And Weird Al. This is so fun and in-your-face after Sanna’s performance.

Russia: I’m still so mad that they were booed because they did so well during this. I really loved the performance. I love the balance beam/seesaw as a prop, and the entwined ponytails. Still one of my favourite songs of the year. 

Italy: Ooh, this is a very fun performance? Not too much a fan of the vocals but the music is pretty great. Pretty great performance in terms of Energy. 

Slovenia: yet ANOTHER one of my favourite songs that I still listen to. I love this performance, she does such a great job live. Simple staging, but the lighting effects are great. I’ve listened to it so many times that I’ve choreographed a contemporary routine to it in my head, and I still see it during this XD. Seriously this is such a great performance, I hope this made the top ten.

Finland: I feel like this is a song I should have paid more attention to. I really like it and want to look into more by Softengine. I love the high notes, he does them so wel live and the band has so much energy. This is just. So great. This is definitely a song younger me should have gotten into but I think I’ve only listened to it like, Four times? Legit.

Spain: I don’t remember this song at all =w=‘ I like the rain effect. It’s a pretty song and she has very pretty vibrato and her power notes are incredible, but the song itself isn’t doing anything for me.

Switzerland: Oh my lovely Sebalter. Guess what, yet another song I still love and listen to regularly. I remember all the memes that generated from his performance, too. Did we ever find out if the whistling was live? I still love this performance either way. It’s a lot of fun. Most iconic violin next to Alexander Rybak. 

Hungary: I remember being so mad watching the Jury section live because I really did not like this song XD The shift from the verse to the chorus just didn’t work for me, felt very disconnected. Plus the song it just really darke? I’m seriously surprised this qualified. The dancing is really well done though. 

Malta: I remember everyone calling them Malta and Sons. Not particularly my cup of tea, but still a good performance regardless. I really love their voices. 

Denmark: The Bruno Mars comparisons were endless back in the day. This is still a super fun song and I still can’t BELIEVE the studio version was explicit. That one back up dancer is going so hard and I absolutely love it. The Love flag is so cheesy and perfect.

The Netherlands: so SLEEPY. Good performance sure but not when you’re watching right before bedtime. More good use of the floor screen. I’ve noticed there were a lot of instruments on stage this year? Something that didn’t click back in the day. Also is it bad that I lowkey find Waylon attractive

San Marino: Is it bad I forgot that Valentina did manage to qualify one year. All I can think with that prop is Peacock. Interesting song, I really like her vocals in this. She defo deserved to qualify this year.

United Kingdom: It’s funny that I remembered the name of the song and artist but couldn’t remember the song to save my life. Definitely one of the better UK acts of the decade. 

~I went to bed bc it was obvious I was getting too tired =w= ~

Graham’s “That’s me!’ got me =w= And all the streamers and such

Watching the recap as soon as I wake up and golly is it a wakeup call =w= Seriously the 2014 Grand was one of my favourites minus Poland =w=; 

Took the recap as time to see how many songs from this year I still actively listen to, and that would be 11/26. 

Momoland Interval Act: Okay the staging of this is incredible? I know they had harnesses on just in case but when they stood on top of the ladder my heart started palpatating

 12 Points Interval Act:  Okay this is fun =w= A lot of fun. I’m laughing so hard. 

Museum of Eurovision History clip: I REMEMBERED THIS SEGMENT AND I AM CRYING Those poor kids. Also completely unrelated, I had to carpool to a meeting with a co-worker and found out she was actually born and raised in Sweden and moved to the states when she was 11. She remembers dancing around her room to Diggaloo Diggeley. 

Green Room Interviews: Amazing that they brought all the foods from the contestants favourite places and the fakeout with France.

Emelie De Forest performance: I know people call this the second most overrated winner next to Euphoria but I really like the song still. A very nice performance and those branch wings are incredible. I also really like Rainmaker. I really like how they brought all the contestants on stage to sing and dance with her. 

~I’m gonna miss Jon Ola Sand ; ( 

Jury Votes: I cut in and out bc I have to do laundry but I still remember how excited I was when Conchita won. I forgot that they said the 8 and 10 points as well as their 12 points. I am so MAD that Russia got booed whenever they got the 10 or 12 points.  I also didn’t realize there were only 37 countries this time.

My thoughts on the Top Ten:  Y’all know I’m ecstatic that Austria won, I’m actually kinda surprised by the top ten? But this is just based on the Jury votes right? Either way I’m bitter that Slovenia did so poorly and surprised that Hungary did so well. I would have been content with Sanna winning but I am surprised that The Common Linnets did so well. CONCHITA’S REACTION TO WINNING BREAKS ME EVERY TIME 

All-in-all, this was a great year, and I am so veryvery happy that I was able to watch it again. Thanks for reading!

[atopearth]

Ikemen Revolution Part 6 - Sirius Oswald Route

You’ve gotta admire how well Sirius can multitask lmao, he can continue a conversation with the heroine in the carriage whilst assessing the situation outside and give orders to the soldiers on their formation etc against the Red Army lol. Gotta appreciate how much he wanted to protect her from fear by making small talk to distract her, and then afterwards, he noticed that she was still pretty scared seeing how battered the carriage was in the aftermath of the attack, so he patted her head to comfort her and welcome her to their big family with good food hahaha. I’ve always liked Sirius so I’m super excited about this route btw and seeing his actions, I’m already in love😍

I always love seeing how considerate and meticulous Seth is, decorating her room, making her feel at home, giving her a tour etc, he’s such a sweet guy. Hahahaha, I love how she’s so scared of Sirius that when she saw him pick up a knife in the kitchen or whatever, she asked him to spare her life LOL. Relax, heroine! He’s been protecting you this whole time, why would he kill you now lollll. I can understand fear against the Red Army but c'mon, Sirius doesn’t look that scary! He’s obviously cooking something for you since you haven’t eaten for a whole day! I’ll cut her some slack though, she just arrived into an unknown world with unknown people at war and there are people that seem like they want to kill her, so it’s natural to be so scared. Omgg he wiped her mouth with a napkin, he’s so subtly forward, he probably doesn’t mean anything by it since he’s probably just accustomed to taking care of people but kyaaa~~

He even baked her croissants for breakfast?!? And got her tea and fruit?! Can he be any more considerate and perfect?! Lmao, the thought of Sirius holding a watering can watering flowers whilst watching over the training of his soldiers is just so hilarious to me😂😂 I was wondering why he got her to wake up so early to watch them train, it was actually to show her how strong, hardworking and capable these guys are and how dedicated they are to their training, and how they’ll definitely protect her, so that was nice of Sirius to do, I mean showing is better than telling! LOL that a raccoon was trying to flying tackle the heroine, and it only served to create a beautiful romantic moment where Sirius hugged her to protect her, but I like it😍😍 LOL, Sirius is in charge of everything, from personnel to inventory management on stuff like cooking supplies. It was legit so hilarious when Seth and Luka were like it’s the end of the world that they ran out of olive oil and grapeseed oil to mix with the pasta, and then Sirius comes by telling them he ordered some and even picked some fresh oregano since he thought it’d go well with the pasta hahahaha. Why is Sirius so perfect?😂😂

HAHAHA, I love Sirius, he’s such a tease and I love it when they ruffle the heroine’s hair, it’s so cuteee~ Funniest thing was when he gave her jobs to do, and they were all simple odd jobs like peeling a bag of potatoes and tending to weeds, best thing was that every time he gave her a job, he also gave her a snack LOL, and they’re such yummy snacks like cream puffs etc!! He’s gonna get her fat at this rate🤣🤣 I wonder if the girl at the flower shop is someone he previously dated!😮 So funny when it was actually radish seeds that she gifted him when the heroine thought they would be flower seeds, and now he’s teasing her for being a glutton and that he’ll make her radish salad when they’re ready🤣

Lmao when the heroine underestimated how hard it would be to take care of Chutney (Sirius’ pet raccoon), I’m surprised she didn’t realise considering it nearly tackled her before lol. The destruction that the raccoon does is magnificent though, enough that Ray and Fenrir have to halt their meeting to keep their pets safe hahaha. Lmao at the heroine and Chutney bonding so well (after she got through to it since they were both picked up and cared for by Sirius lmao) that they’re even scrubbing curtains together hahaha. Lmao at the guys having to force Sirius to have a day off by using the heroine to walk around with him, it was so sweet when he told her that today was the first time in his life that he could truly relax, since he was spending time with her. He’s such a workaholic!

Well, that was the most pointless meeting between the two armies, it was legit just, no we don’t surrender, okay we’ll go to war tomorrow, see ya. Like, was that supposed to be a constructive meeting?! Seriously. The five minutes Lancelot gave Sirius to talk to him was more productive, since Sirius believes that there’s more to the reason why Lancelot’s so adamant on this war and since he wants peace above everything, he wants to know what it is to stop and help Lancelot. No idea why Harr appeared out of nowhere to kill Lancelot though… Ooh, so the Black Army had kept asking Sirius to become the king until Ray came along. I’m assuming Sirius only really joined because he wanted to save Lancelot or something?

I can understand Sirius’ sentiments for not wanting to use the heroine’s power to repel magic though, he’s right. In the end, this is war and if the heroine participates in it, even if it’s just repelling magic, she is inadvertently pushing the Red Army back and giving an advantage to the Black Army soldiers to possibly kill the Red Army soldiers, so she could be basically contributing to their deaths. I’m glad Sirius thought about that and so he didn’t want her to carry such burdens and dirty her clean hands for them when she doesn’t need to and shouldn’t. He’s so thoughtful, it kills me☺️☺️ I love Sirius, I seriously do, omg. When the heroine spotted him with the watering can during their time at war, and he talked about how the Black Army was fighting to protect their everyday lives, so if they neglect to take care of their home and to love it as sacrifice for winning the battle, then they’ve got their priorities backwards, and when I read that, I thought he was so right, so so right! It’s exactly because it’s wartime that it’s even more important to take care of their everyday since it’s at risk of being toppled!

I guess Sirius is that kinda guy huh? Someone who likes things and takes everything in moderation, so that he can stay calm and collected to fulfill his duties. He’s not emotionless but in a sense, you could say he’s become numb to a lot of things because his position doesn’t allow him to be too emotional or the morale of the army will dwindle. Which is why he’s a serious guy but also likes to joke every now and then, he tries to balance everything, including himself because he needs to be in control. Guess he won’t be able to control his feelings for the heroine though🙃 Considering how the heroine is always so straightforward, trying her best to help and wearing her emotions on her sleeve, I guess he’s attracted to how sincere she is in everything she does. But dang that kiss on the forehead was cuteeee.

Loved how well Sirius’ plan went! Omgg drunk Sirius pulling the heroine to the sofa with him saying he doesn’t want to be alone is the cutest thing ever!!!!😍😍 So cute when Sirius blushed at the heroine knowing that he likes things lively rather than being alone, and it was just so peaceful to see them enjoy a cup of coffee together watching over the others~~ But lmaoo at Seth pointing at them to the others proving that there’s something going on between them🤣 LOLL at Luka asking Seth , what does he mean by Sirius stealing the heroine’s heart, “aren’t her ribs in the way?” hahahaha, you’re so cute Luka lmaoo. LOL at the guys confronting her to ask if she really does like him and she practically immediately admits it🤣 Lolll at Sirius hearing everything and seeing them discuss happily how she’s going to win his heart hahaha, that is definitely a hard conversation to walk into😂

Sirius playing with the heroine’s hair is like the cutest moment ever. I didn’t think Harr was actually school friends with both Sirius and Lancelot though, and that Harr’s recruitment by the Tower and subsequent banishment into becoming a wanted man actually motivated Lancelot to want to mend the Red and Black barrier even more. OHHH, so the woman who sold the heroine those radish seeds was actually Sirius’ sister! That’s his family business! No wonder why he seems to put so much care into flowers and just the garden in general, he knows about them really well since his family business is a flower shop! Tbh it’s kinda crazy to think that someone as capable as Sirius really just wanted to take care of flowers for the rest of his life, I guess it’s something nice and calming, so great for the Sirius that doesn’t like to fight. It’s so cute how he still remembers that Lancelot once upon a time said that when he becomes the King of Hearts and rids of the conflict between the two armies, he would fly here and buy flowers from Sirius. It sounds like such a silly but sweet dream haha.

It must have been very hurtful for Harr during that meeting 7 years ago. He trusted Lancelot and Sirius and called them out, but instead of being listened to, Lancelot attacked him and everyone came out injured physically and emotionally from that meeting. Things had changed for them and they could no longer be the naive and simple kids they once were, especially Sirius…since he essentially gave up on his dream to take care of the flower shop in order to try and save Lancelot and Harr from whatever that is restricting them… Damn right heroine, you tell him!! Sirius, you’re definitely not an old man! You’re mature, caring and a great gentleman! Omgg, when he wrapped his arm around her and let her cuddle against him to “return the favour” of her listening to him etc since she needed some comforting, I was like this is so sweeeet!

It was so good to see Lancelot finally tell Sirius everything and tell him that he still thinks Sirius looks best in an apron and a watering can rather than a soldier uniform. You can really see how much he really cherishes Sirius. It was so tough to keep all this to himself. I was so touched when Sirius said he had found a third wish he wanted to come true no matter what (first two was save Lancelot and bring Harr back into the light) and it was for the heroine to be happy and safe and that Cradle isn’t that place anymore. But omggg, even more touched when he bought her the right sized shoes this time, I never thought he’d actually remember so well about how he got it wrong the first time, so he wants the last gift he gives her to be shoes in the right size. It’s just so…perfect. The kisses were also👌👌

Kinda wanted to see Sirius, Harr and Lancelot combine their strengths to defeat Amon but it’s okay I guess, since we got to see Sirius come all the way to the Land of Reason to pick the heroine up back to Cradle, shows how much he really wants her to really stay with him for the rest of his life😊 So cute when all the Black Army guys were so happy about her return though hahaha, the thought of Ray rubbing her head, Fenrir pinching her cheeks, Luka gripping her hand and Seth hugging her, dangg that harem sounds nice🤣 It’s also really cute how all their actions show their personalities so well☺️ Kinda disappointed in the romantic ending since it just described their kisses and that’s all, but it was cute that Lancelot could get Sirius riled up with a letter and confess his love properly to the heroine lol. Anyway, all good, the CG was super pretty so that made up for it haha.

Overall, I loved Sirius. He didn’t disappoint at all. He was mature, gentlemanly, kind and considerate, he was definitely the whole package haha. Such a great guy that takes care of everyone but is also very passionate and will give everything for his friends. Nothing to complain about in this route and I have to say, I like it just as much as Fenrir’s, they’re my top two for sure!