#if u saw me answer the wrong ask no you didnt

[luvrbunni]

See, I was intending to keep it all inside by making you cockwarm for me, but maybe we do both~? I could fingerfuck you, making sure none of my cum goes to waste, until you're a writhing mess. Until you're begging, saying you can't take anymore. Until you've cum so much that you actually pass out.

Then, I can flip you onto your side. Lifting your leg ever so slightly, I can slide my cock back inside you to plug you up. I'll snuggle in real close to you while you sleep, grinding against you until I doze off too. You'll have to make sure to stay still if you wake up first, though. Don't want a drop to spill out until I say so, right? Be a good, obedient little bun, and I might just give you one last load once I'm up... or just start back up again in full force.

- 🤭

i think i might be kind of obsessed with this i cant stop thinking about getting fucked full of cum going round after round till im a whiny mess... and then.. keeping your cock inside me, plugging me up so we dont waste a drop... almost like trying to knot me...

i think id struggle tbh. you have no idea how stupidly sensitive i am. waking up to feel you still inside me, i dont think i could help myself. id push myself down on it, trying to feel some kind of friction but to no avail. Id be clumsy, id wake you. you probably wouldn't be too happy about that, maybe pinning my wrists down, getting me to a point where im close to cumming again but stopping in time, edging me till im crying.. begging for it like some pathetic slut..

[cathalbravecog]

hmm, does anyone have anything that lists all the main storyline/taskline quests + their dialogue? i would love to re-read though them again for lore reasons. i know theres that one work in progress timeline document, but im looking for in-game main tasklines any player can see while they play. i can figure out the side stuff like the arg things and comics myself...

(long rambley explanation below that im putting under the cut because i know otherwise nobody will interact with this post)

(this is mostly for ocs, even if they don't follow the main storyline lore exactly - i would still like to know any and all details about the world the toons talk about so i can make things accurate and be able to talk about certain details... and get ideas from reading certain things. even though the lore in cogs only we have is... uh. lets just say this thing could never ever be canon but yknow HAHA)

and like... i do have a million damn screenshots, some of them taken purely to save certain dialogue that i look at RARELY (bc i forget i took these screenshots). and i dont wanna go through videos of people playing the game, i don't like doing that... but the wiki doesn't seem to list the dialogue anywhere, or i may just be looking in the wrong place?

because with so many main line quests you will forget a few things, and of course skip over dialogue when you're trying to do things quickly... with some things being related to the story and some being not...

so i would just really love to look over the main stuff again. ofc, side quests are apprecited too, but im looking for the main thing. gets a bit hard to figure out world stuff when you unfortunately never played tto becuse you didnt know it existed, and ttr's lore is very different from ttcc and honestly i dont even know what they got going on there anymore, i never paid attention to it even when i played ttr because honestly i cant give a fuck about disney characters outside their actual source material-

[dansformations]

"Influencing influencers"

Im Byron, im kinda popular on the media, wouldnt call myself an influencer but at least an small celebrity for certain people: gay guys. Im popular between gay guys.

Then there is this guy, Tod, he do Is an influencer, another gay guy pretty popular, and we have done some colaboration videos, thanks to this i got a bit of highlights recently, getting more followers, but just some days ago Tod posted something off, at least for his usual:

Fart jokes? Superhero referentes? Both together!? Really weird if you ask me to. The situation got weirder when a lot of popular guys from the "gymbro side" of the media started comenting, celebrating his video... And he wrote back, in the weirder way posible:

"@markobroskii: Sick Bro! Superman Is next

@Tody_yourguy: Aded to the list broski!"

Didnt tought too much about It until he post a video that made my jaw drop:

He wasnt just wearing clothes that didnt match his usual but he was in the lingerie zone playing with the undies, saying he was making the zone 'More enjoyable to the View"

That sell the deal. I send his a message and went to his place to check on him.

In the way to his place i saw his @ on media changing to @Tod_thebro.

Wtf!?

When arrived, i notice diferences since he open the door, he stank!

- Jesus! Tod, thats your smell!?

- Yeah, some bro scent, go ahead bro, take a sit - he said With a voice that sounded diferent, he was talking with this "Frat Bro" acent we used to laugh about.

His apartament was now a mess, full of empty - and not so empty - pizza boxes, empty beer cans, dirty clothes, and sticky looking socks... He offer me a beer from a brand i didnt knew, but i'm not really a drinker so maybe thats why. I took it just to be polite, took some sips... Wasnt that bad.

Tried to find the cleanest place and thats where i sat.

- Sup bro, what did you wanna talk about?

- Well... About this... - I said looking around -Whats happening? First that gross fart video - I saw him chuckle when i mentioned that - then that also gross video on the lingerie store and Now... Look at your apartament, what hapened?

- I woke up bro - thats his only answer.

- Huh?

- I realice that gay life wasnt right for me

- What the fuck you- he interupt me

- Going to the gym, no worries about skin care routine - he keep talking - no worries even about showers, not washing my butt every-time-i-have-a-date - he said that words sounding indeed really sick of it- or not washing my butt at all, no using it for please other guys, just using it for this:

After saying that he lifted a leg and rip a long, smelly and loud fart

PRRRRRRFFFFFFFTTTFFFF the fart resonated for all the place, stinking everything, i had to cover my nose inmediatly, which make Tod laugh.

- Tod, theres no way to go straight, u have always been against that believe!

- Used to, but theres way, and you Will UAAARP agree soon

- What do you mean? - i said confused, and a bit of worried

- See, my awaking start when i had the first can of a beer from this weird brand a hot masc guy gave me, that same beer you are drinking now

Oh fuck.

- Oh n-OOUUUURRRRRP

- It's already starting, bro

- Theres no way, uh-PRRRRRRFFTTTFFFF

Tod was smiling with and almost evil smile, chugged a can of beer, belched and said: Cheers bro.

While here, I was burping non-stop, feeling my brain a bit foggy... Why I was worried about?

...

@ morningboy💕:

Oh!, Byron finally posted something, and it looks like a colab with Tod! Maybe he make him come back to his senses, all his 'turning straight' story really afect to the community.

Anyways lets see the video...

Ok, that outfit was a choice, Byron - I tough

Keep watching.

Oh... Oh no, is Byron having a fart contest with Todd!?

This feels wrong... Wait! Why his user just changed to @Byb-ronski...

[jeon-ify]

1, 16, 19, 32 Yeosang!! *runs and hides*

woah. you are a mastermind. im gonna have fun with this one

1. “open up, baby”

16. “stop fucking crying”

19. “yeah? you get off on me talking down to you?”

32. “you belong to me, understand?”

————————————————————————————

you belong to me- yeosang

this morning, you woke up to the sound of no one. each room in the house was empty, curiosity rising from your chest. you’d triple checked every room, your closets— nothing.

yeosang was no where to be found. you called and texted, but no answer.

an hour or so later after contemplating on whether to give up or not, you pick up your phone and text again, in hopes he responds this time.

————————————

y/n: baby? where’d you go?

y/n: ur not picking up 🫤

y/n: at least leave me on seen

y/n: did i do something wrong?

y/n: ur scaring me sangie :/

y/n: was it because i braided hwas hair?

*seen just now*

y/n: bro.. theres no way

y/n: ur mad cus i-

y/n: nevermind

sangie 🧡: on my way home. u better not have any clothes on or i’ll rip them off. understand?

y/n: i understand

sangie 🧡: good girl

———————————

you never thought that braiding seonghwa’s hair would be such a problem to your boyfriend, since you already asked and made sure it was okay with the both of them.

“hwa, stop moving or it’ll hurt—“

“then fucking hurry up its only three little pieces” he whined to you. you’re really not hurting him, but he just likes whining.

“i’m sorry!! i’m just trying to make them neater.”

yeosang sits across the room, watching the two of you whine and yell at each other. the smirk that plasters over seonghwa’s face is what makes yeosang’s stomach flip and twist in jealousy. yeosang was never ever the jealous type, but when he was, it was dangerous for the both of you.

he glares at you and you swear you saw smoke coming out of his ears. he pulls his phone out of the pocket of his black nike sweats, and your phone dings twice.

sangie 🧡: just wait.

sangie 🧡: are you enjoying yourself?

sangie 🧡: bet you wanna fuck him and pull on his hair dont you

sangie 🧡: bad girl.

he slides his phone back into his baggy pockets, taking a deep breath to calm himself from the scene happening before him.

he stands up, walking over to the bowl on the counter in the kitchen where his car keys were. he starts his car, puts on his slippers and leaves the house; slamming the door behind him.

“someones jealous.” seonghwa snares.

“shut up.” you smack the back of his head, as you knew he was being petty.

“ow, dumbass. didnt you ask him if you could braid my hair already? its for a music video. he’s so fucking petty.”

“yeah, but if you keep looking at him and fucking smiling of course he’s gonna get mad and think you wanna fuck me or some shit.” you argue. you knew seonghwa had heart eyes for you since the moment you met him through yeosang. you hung out for dinner, seonghwa tagging along since he was bored out of his mind.

yeosang made the mistake of trusting seonghwa around you.

————————

you hear the door unlock and keys jingling around the knob. you run upstairs to your room before the door could open, saving yourself the hassle of yeosang carrying you and tossing you across the room.

��baby, i know you’re home. where are you?” you hear his deep voice rumbling throughout the dark home, as you sit on the edge of the bed, waiting for yeosang to find you waiting for him.

you hear his footsteps coming closer to the room, his breathing picking up as your breath hitches in fear and excitement at the same time.

he shoves the door open, being met with you at the end of the bed, cheeks flushed red and your heavy breathing ringing in his ears. he drops his wallet, phone, and keys onto the dresser as he turns back around and grabs a fist full of your hair. he pulls your head back so you’re looking up at him. he towers over you with his hand tugging and squeezing at your brown locks.

“i shouldn’t even be looking at you. but you’re fuckin’ lucky im nice to you.” he groans. he comes closer to you, prying at your lips, pushing and pulling, almost placing a kiss onto your lips. you scoot your face closer to his as he pulls away. he swipes his tongue vertically across your lips, as you sigh in relief that he finally touched you.

“open up, baby. gonna fuck that little throat of yours. you know your safeword, but i doubt you’ll use it, fuckin’ whore.” he takes his painfully hard cock out of his sweats as your throat becomes dry. you lose all words and all thoughts. you open your mouth, sticking out your dry tongue far enough for yeosang to shove his entire length down your throat.

“there you go, baby. now imagine seonghwa fucking your throat like this— fuckk, so warm.”

he’s relentlessly fucking your throat while your spit and his precum pools at the base of his cock. you scratch and grip at his clothed thighs, his neck veins pulsing and his arm muscles tightening against themselves.

“gonna cum in your throat, y/n. swallow it all like the good little bitch you are.” he groans— you could cum just from his filthy words alone. he watches the way your bare thighs wriggle and press together whenever he says things like this.

he pulls you away by the back of your neck after spilling his load down your throat. you stick your tongue out, moaning an ‘ahh’ sound so he could see that you swallowed completely. “fuck, look at you. dirty slut. bet you like when i use you like this.”

he watches the pool of tears flood your eyes from how overly pleasured you are. he mocks you, watching the way you sob and whine for him to just touch you and fill you up the way you need.

“sangie, please just fucking touch me, ‘been so good-“ he cuts you off as his heavy hand lands a sharp slap on your right cheek.

“good? you giving seonghwa ‘fuck-me eyes is good? you playing with his hair and laughing ‘n shit with my fucking friends is good?” his eyebrows furrow as he yells at you.

he’s not angry, but he’s disgusted that his friends would do such a thing, trusting them around you and wanting to build that bond with all of you.

“im sorry, daddy. just wanted you to fuck me.” you argue and plead him to just fucking do something. his large hand wraps itself around your throat as your tears spill down your cheeks to his fingers. you’re not sad, you’re intrigued by his possessiveness, thus making you so overly pleasured and excited, you decide to cry— turning him on as he loves seeing you weak before him.

“stop fucking crying. i didn’t do anything to you and you’re already cockdrunk. do you deserve to cum tonight?” he slides your panties down in one go with one hand, spreading your legs and shoving his middle and ring fingers into your mouth.

“suck. get ‘em all nice and wet so i can touch you where you want.” you suck and spit around his fingers while he fiddles with your throat.

“fuck— i can’t take it anymore, just fuck me please, daddy. please please please!” you moan as he rams his fingers into your sopping cunt

“i asked you a question. what do you do when i ask you a question, darling?”

“a-answer.” you manage. you don’t know how but words finally managed to leave your mouth.

“exactly. so, do you deserve to cum?” he caresses your cheek, giving you a kiss on your forehead. he’s acting gentle and kind to you, but this is the calm before the storm.

“no, i don’t.”

“and why not?” he questions.

“b-because i was touching your friend.”

“you got it, baby. you finally know common sense. now when i fuck you, don’t try to run from me. you belong to me, understand?. not seonghwa, me. turn around, and let me fuck your tight cunt.” his voice gets gradually louder when he claims you, the veins in his neck becoming prominent.

you get on all fours before him, ass up as your face is buried in his silk navy blue pillow. the cold sensation making you feel way above the clouds as yeosang undresses and runs his slim and long fingers through your folds before sliding his thick cock inside of you.

“i understand, daddy. you feel so fucking good. s-so big!” you moan. you feel like such a pornstar right now, being open and exposed for the man before you.

“look at your legs already shaking, wish i could get this on video and send to seonghwa so he fucking knows— fuck— that you are mine.”

he groans and brings his hand to land a slap on your ass cheek, eliciting a deep moan from your throat. he moves his warm and muscular arm to put you in a headlock, white stars and black clouding your vision.

his muscles contract around your throat, cutting off your air supply as he feels you clenching around his length, gripping him like your life depended.

“daddy— fuck— call me a whore!” you moan and cry out as he pounds you ruthlessly and probably the fastest you’ve ever been fucked.

“yeah? you get off on me talking down to you? nasty whore.”

you’d be lying if you said you didn’t want yeosang to put a baby in you, just so you could be full of him. truthfully, you both werent ready for a baby, but you just wanted to walk around with him inside of you forever, everywhere you went.

he groans and moans in your ear as you feel him twitching deep inside you. you cum around his length, his thrusts becoming quicker and harder, you feel him chasing his orgasm.

“gonna put a fuckin’ baby in you. so seonghwa knows who you belong to. walk around the house with my seed in you, you’d like that, wouldn’t you, y/n?”

“yes- fuck, please please please~” you moan again, arching your back up and down, as yeosang pulls you onto his hips, as you feel him reach a spot he has never reached before, making you squirt and stain his satin sheets.

“made a fuckin mess. look at you. let this be a warning for the next time you touch or look at any of my friends, hm baby?”

“o-okay,” you cry out.

he paints his load all over your pink gummy walls, groaning and stilling his thrusts as you both catch your breaths. he pulls out while you lay down, processing what the fuck just happened.

this was the best sex you’ve ever had.

————————————————————

I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS OMFG IT WAS SO HARD TO WRITE CUS I DONT WRITE YEOSANG BUT THIS WAS SO FUN TOO

[miuszn]

HII!! i love your writing sm, so i wanted to send in a request. I KNOW THIS IS SO CLICHÉ AND OVERDONE 😭😭 BUT could you possibly write a seven minutes in heaven scenario with ellie or abby. maybe reader n ellie/abby don’t really like each other, or they have tension ?? idk

seven minutes

SETTING : college / modern au

WC : 3120

WARNINGS : not beta read , fingering , cunnilingus ( r!recieving both ) , kinda vanilla again ( sorry ) , top!ellie , one-sided rivalry , intentional lowercase , this might kinda seem like dubcon but it’s not reader is just shy , english isn’t my first language and i’m not perfectly fluent so there might be mistakes ( lmk if there’s any )

A / N : hii everyone !! aaa im so glad i finally finished this 😭😭 i love these corny cliche scenarios soooo much but only when it’s w women otherwise it’s just so bleh . women do everything better so true !! anywhooo i hope u guys enjoy this and tysm for requesting this bc i wanted to write something like this but didnt think anyone would want it .. ALSO IM SO SORRY I FORGOT TO INCLUDE ABBY WHEN I STARTED WRITING BC I SAVED THE ASK TO DRAFTS TO KEEP IT THERE N ONLY NOTICED NOW JFJDHDKDJ pls forgive me .. ill include ellie & abby tension over reader in the future i promise 🙏🙏

— 𓆩♥︎𓆪 —

“dina, i’m not going.”

you had no idea how many times you told her this, but you weren’t planning on changing your mind. you had gone to a few parties here and there, sure, but it wasn’t really your thing. you enjoyed going to them every once in a while to go out and loosen up, get your mind off of stress, but that was it. you weren't particularly crazy about it at the same level of other people your age, not even as much as dina, who’s considered a more casual partygoer. you had given her some excuse about having a project to work on, but the truth was, that wasn’t your concern. in fact, you didn’t have a project to work on at all. you made it all up. you even considered going to that party when dina first told you about it, but a few days later you overheard some classmates talk about how ellie williams out of all people would be going.

ellie ellie ellie. she drive you nuts for all the wrong reasons. you could tell she disliked you from the start, which that in itself made you dislike her as well. you wondered what you could’ve possibly done to anger her. but your dislike for her only grew when you realized just how irresponsible she was. she slept in, often came hungover to class, and yet she still scored the highest. even higher than you. and that really set you off. you had been an overachiever all your life, and all of a sudden some loser who doesn’t even put any effort into anything is beating you at everything. but most of all, it intrigued you a little more than it did anger you. you wished you could take a peek into her brain and see how the hell she managed to do it. your first thought was she copied answers off of people. seemed the most logical, right? but she was scoring the highest. how the hell could she score higher than anyone that she could even copy off of? hell, she even answered open-ended questions more detailed and well-written than you did. it didn’t make any sense. that’s the worst part of it all. you couldn’t even come up with a logical explanation as to how she could even do this.

little did you know, though, she was completely aware of your one-sided rivalry, and she found it adorable. she never tried to compete with you, but she thought it was hilarious watching you try so hard to compete with her. the first time she saw you, she was immediately drawn to you. your spotless image, valedictorian from your high school who had a perfect gpa and perfect test scores. you were perfect. but she wanted to see you crack. she wanted to see what was under all those layers (both figuratively and literally) and see what you were truly like. she knew you seeing her put in no effort into school yet still doing better than you would anger you. that’s exactly what she wanted. sure, she was in a way getting you to hate her, but it was a risk she was willing to take just to get a reaction out of you. and little did you know, you were attracted to her. and she was aware.

“come on, i don’t know why you’re acting like this all of a sudden,” dina whined. “you said you’d come along when i first told you about it.”

“i said i’d think about it,” you corrected her. “i’m just not really feeling it. besides i already told you i have this project to work on.”

“what’s it for?”

“it’s, uh..” you tried to come up with a lie on the spot. “it’s for calculus.”

“no way, we have a project in that class?” she asked, surprised, “i can’t believe i had no idea! when is it due?”

shit. you forgot you had that class with her.

“it’s for tomorrow, i think..” you kept going along with your lie.

“bullshit,” she laughed, “if we really had a project due tomorrow you would already have it done. and there’s no way i’d miss a project for that class!”

“fine,” you sighed, “i just needed an excuse so you’d leave me alone. but i really don’t want to go.”

“nope, because you lied you have to come.”

“why?!”

“because it’s fair!” she said, “besides, you definitely owe me one for going to that stupid concert with you the other day.”

you rolled your eyes. “you said you enjoyed it.”

“yeah, well, i lied. do you seriously think i’d ever like-“

“alright that’s enough!” you sighed. “i’ll go. but we are leaving early that night”

“deal.”

— 𓆩♥︎𓆪 —

“dinaaa, hurry up!” you knocked on the bathroom door. the main downside of sharing an apartment with your best friend was the fact she took forever to get out of the bathroom. you both decided it would be a good idea, you found a nice complex near campus and the rent was almost the same as a dorm room, so it was a no-brainer.

“five minutes!” she yelled back. five minutes my ass, you thought. at least this time you thought ahead of time and got in there before her. your outfit wasn’t anything fancy, of course, but you still wanted to dress cute. you had a black tube mini-skirt and white baby tee, just something you threw on that was comfortable but still looked alright. you had struggled a little to decide what to wear, you didn’t want to stand out too much but you still for some reason wanted to impress ellie deep down. you just brushed this off as an unwanted thought and ignored it, but it continued to linger in your mind. why do i even care what she thinks of me? you asked yourself.

about fifteen minutes later, dina finally came out of the bathroom.

“you said five”

“well, i still look good, don’t i?” she jokingly posed.

“yeah, yeah, whatever. let’s get going.”

— 𓆩♥︎𓆪 —

if there was one thing you could absolutely not stand about house parties, it was the stench inside the house. god was it awful. half of these people were frat boys who didn’t know what deodorant was and had been sweaty all night, and all this mixed with the smell of alcohol just made matters worse. most of the people were inside the house enjoying the music and the drinks, but you simply hung outside with dina chatting while drinking out of those cliche red cups you see in movies. you really couldn’t wait to get out of there, but yet again, that little voice in the back of your head made you think about ellie. you thought it was good you didn’t see her, but at the same time, you wanted to see her. it was a strange feeling. you couldn’t tell if it was curiosity, intrusive thoughts, or attraction. whatever it was, there was no way it was the last option.

about an hour passed and you were starting to get bored. just as you were about to suggest to dina you leave, a group of 8-ish people came out of the house to the backyard. among them was ellie. the moment you saw her you realized just how attractive she is. you had never looked at her enough to tell, but now it was evident. now you were even more confused. but you simply told yourself you can think she’s attractive and not be attracted to her.

you were so lost in thought you didn’t even realize one of the guys was talking to you and dina had to hit you on the shoulder to get your attention.

“is this chick high or something?” one of them laughed.

“uh- no- sorry. just kinda pensive.” you tried your hardest to avoid eye contact with ellie, and luckily this time you managed to do so. it just would’ve made things way more awkward.

“anyway-“ one of the guys started. “we were thinking since none of us wanna be with those people inside the house, we could just do something else to have fun.”

“what’re you thinking?” dina asked.

“7 minutes in heaven.”

you and dina were both a little stunned. you would’ve thought about some other thing, but you decided to go along with it anyway. not like anything could go wrong.

you all sat in a circle, and one of them began explaining the rules.

“simple, you spin the bottle, whoever it lands on, you have to go in the shed for 7 minutes and do any romantic or sexual act. kissing, making out, having sex even. but there has to be some proof you did something. if you didn’t do anything in the 7 minutes or refused to do anything in the first place, you take a shot. everyone got it?”

everyone nodded, and the game began. most people took a shot, about half an hour of the game went by and not a single person had gone into the shed. you landed on a few of the guys and vice versa, and while most of them were totally down to go in the shed with you, you most definitely weren’t. you weren’t sure if it was just you imagining things, but you felt you saw the slightest bit of anger and jealousy in ellie’s eyes anytime the bottle landed on you and the guys wanted to go in the shed with you, and she was relieved any time you took a shot. you found it strange. why did it matter to her? but you were sure you were just making things up.

you were starting to feel more and more tipsy from the drinks, standing on the line between drunk and sober. you were self-aware enough to tell yourself to not have any more drinks. one more spin, you told yourself. that was it. you spun the bottle, and surprise surprise, it landed on none other than ellie herself.

there was an awkward silence for a moment. you didn’t know what to do. it would be super awkward if either one of you accepted and the other declined.

one of the guys broke the silence first. “sooo.. are y’all going in the shed or not?”

“depends on her.” ellie smirked.

your face got a little hot. a soft red tinted your cheeks and you nodded, accepting in the heat of the moment. you were sure it was just your drunk mind making the decisions for you, but it wasn’t. you were very aware of the decision you had just made. but it hadn’t hit you yet. not until she walked behind you into the shed and shut the door.

“didn’t think you were into me like that,” ellie broke the silence. “i always thought you hated me or somethin’.”

you didn’t really know what to say. you mumbled some nonsense trying to come up with something fast.

“do i make you nervous?” she asked.

“sort of..” you were able to respond.

“ohh, i see,” she interrupted. “you just pretended to hate me for whatever reason.”

“no!” you protested. “i wasn’t pretending- i mean, i don’t hate you, it’s just. ugh.”

you gave up on trying to explain yourself when you realized just how childish and irrational you acted. seriously, disliking someone for outperforming you at your big age? the more you thought about it, the more embarassed you were about it. was it the alcohol doing this to you? it was all so confusing.

“why’d you accept to come into the shed with me?”

you didn’t respond, just shrugged. you didn’t know. you must’ve woken up on the wrong side of bed or something. you were acting very irrational today, and it’s like someone else was making decisions for you.

you didn’t realize she had pretty much backed you against one of the walls of the small room until now. this feeling, that you couldn’t quite put a name on, was so sudden and so foreign. did you have feelings for her that you had just been pushing away all this time because of jealousy? if not, what the hell was it?

her hand wandered up your skirt, stopping right before reaching your cunt. she looked up at you as if asking for approval, and although you hesitated for a moment, it’s as if your body made the decision for you and you nodded.

she didn’t waste any time and dipped her hand in your panties, rubbing circles on your clit to tease you, causing you to whimper and moan softly.

“so classy and put together whenever i see you, but look at you right now,” she teased. “no one would ever think you’d be whimpering for me like this.”

you blushed and looked away in embarrassment. you didn’t get why that made you blush. so many thoughts were racing through your head, so many conflicting feelings. yet you didn’t try to pull away, even though you had many opportunities to do so.

her touches weren’t enough and you were starting to get desperate, causing you to lightly buck your hips back and forth trying to feel her more.

“oh? someone’s desperate,” she chuckled. “alright, princess, i’ll give you what you want.”

you weren’t sure what she meant by that or what she was planning to do, but, for whatever reason, you trusted her.

she pulled her hand out of your panties, making you whine at the lack of contact.

“don’t worry, baby,” she said, getting down on her knees, her face at the level of your cunt. “i’ll take care of you real good.”

she started pulling down your panties and threw them somewhere on the floor, motioning you to put your leg on her shoulder. you seemed hesitant, thinking your leg might be kind of heavy for her to support on her shoulder. but she assured you it’d be fine.

her mouth was now millimeters away from your cunt. “if it’s too much, tell me to stop.” she looked up at you. you nodded, a little scared, but you still wanted to trust her.

she gave a long lick along your slit to tease you, making you gasp from the contact. she started mercilessly licking and sucking on your clit a little more intensely than you’d like her to, but at the same time, you liked it. you couldn’t tell her to stop. whimpers and moans came out of your mouth, being all that could be heard inside the small room aside from the wet sounds of ellie’s mouth on your cunt. you struggled more and more each second to stand as your legs wobbled and trembled from the sensation. she slid a finger inside you with ease, thrusting it in and out of you at a rapid pace which made you struggle to contain your moans that you started trying so hard to conceal since they only kept getting louder and louder. you had only been in that shed for about 6 minutes, but you were already about to reach your climax. and ellie was aware of this. she sped up her pace a little more, slurping up your juices like it was nothing.

after a moment, she lifted your leg from her shoulder and held your arm while getting up to make sure you could stabilize your footing.

“you okay?”

you nodded, and suddenly you realized what had just happened. ellie williams ate you out. you let the girl you swore you hated so bad eat you out, and you enjoyed it. you didn’t know what was the most shocking; that she didn’t hate you too, that she was even attracted to you, that she wanted to eat you out, or that you just let her. you weren’t sure wether you regretted it or not.

“what, you’re surprised you liked it or something?” she laughed, as if she had read your mind.

you felt your cheeks tint a slight red, and looked away in embarrassment, confirming she was right.

“shut up.” you rolled your eyes, turning to leave, but she grabbed your arm and stopped you.

“listen,” she looked into your eyes. “if you want, we can just forget about this. we don’t have to tell ‘em what happened.”

you nodded, and you both awkwardly walked back to the circle.

— 𓆩♥︎𓆪 —

when you sat back down, dina looked you up and down and giggled.

“why’re you looking at me like that?” you whispered to her.

“you think we’re dumb?” she giggled. “there’s a reason neither of you had to take a shot. like for example, your messy hair.”

you realized it was obvious, and you wanted the ground to swallow you whole right there. you had a lot of different feelings about what just happened, but the main one was embarrassment. it would’ve been one thing if it happened and you didn’t like it, but the fact that you enjoyed it was humiliating. not only did you like it, but you wanted more. you started to take a liking to her, and you hated that.

after about 15 more minutes, everyone got tired of the game and decided to end it. you and dina decided to just go home now, although it was a little early, since you hadn’t been enjoying yourselves much.

as you waited on the front lawn of the house for your uber to get there, you heard a voice calling from behind.

“dina!”

you both turned around and surprise surprise, it was ellie.

“what is it?”

“can i talk to your friend real quick?”

you and dina looked at each other, and you sighed and decided to talk to her. you thought it’ll be quick, and if anything, when the uber arrives you can use it as your get out of jail free card.

you walked over to her and she seemed to be abnormally tense.

“i just, uh. i wanted to ask if you were fine after all that.” she mumbled with a genuine expression on her face.

“ellie, it’s fine.” you sighed.

“are you sure?”

“yes, don’t worry about it. seriously.”

you thought that was it, but she clearly had something else on her mind.

“ellie, spit it out.”

“well, also,” she looked up at you, “i wanted to ask you for your number. i don’t think i’ve ever actually talked to you aside from today.”

you chuckled in disbelief at the audacity this girl had. clearly she knew you’d say no, and just wanted to rile you up. but you wouldn't give her that satisfaction, so you dropped the expression immediately and instead had a calm look on your face.

“maybe some other time, babe”

— 𓆩♥︎𓆪 —

A / N : u guys know i don’t rlly like adding notes at the end of my fics but i felt i must clarify the last sentence isn’t reader having a complete 180 change of personality all of a sudden rather just acting different than she was right before leaving to sort of leave ellie stunned if that makes sense but i didn’t know how to end it and clarify that eheh also i might make a part 2 of this after i finish my next fic and the part 2 to my other fic if u guys want it <3 also ONCE AGAIN english is not my first language i’m not completely fluent yet and i write as a way to practice ++ i don’t have a beta reader sooo if u guys find mistakes PLEASE let me know !! thx for reading <33

[sh1nch1r0]

𝖀𝖓𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖋𝖊𝖈𝖙𝖑𝖞,𝕻𝖊𝖗𝖋𝖊𝖈𝖙

❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁

Ran Haitani x Reader

U were not perfect,but he was everything about him was perfect.It made u inescure to theur breaking point so u left.He never understood why u left..but everything changes when u meet again

TW:insecure reader,bodyshaming,angst,break up,cursing,rindou beeing a snitch,alcohol,drugs

❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁

Ran was casualy going about his day when u told him u wanted to break up,he held it for a Joke at first but u were serious.His mind was racing with toughts did i do someting wrong?Did i say someting wrong that offended her?.Ran just looked at you in shook.

„But why babe...please...tell me what did i do wrong“his voice sounded shaky.

But u never answered him u just stood up and left.As he heard the Front door fall into its lock his heart shaterd.His head fell into his Hands as hot tears streamed down his cheeks.

„fuckkkkkkkkk.......fuck“ ran cursed to himself,was it the alcohol was it the drugs he sometimes used was it that.

A familiar voice brought him out of his trance.

„She broke up with you didnt she “ said his brother.

„Yes she did.....“ he wishperd and looked up at his younger brother,

„Do u know why“rindou asked him.

Ran just shook his head and then looked down.

„I know why....u know i am good at reading people and she was just like a open book“

„So then tell me why she broke my heart“ tears welled up in his eyes again.

„Shes insecure...she views you as too hot to this to that for her and she views herself......“ Rindou wanted to say.

„She views herself as imperfect i know but she knows i am not perfect i am the incomplete and unperfect one “ran whisperd

❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁

Two weeks,it were only two weeks and u felt like shit.U loved Ran more than anything in the Universe but he was just so he was way too hot for u and all the girls who hit on him are much more pretty than u. Everyday without Ran was hell u woke up in a cold bed,u passed all the spots where ran and you hung out when u went to work,it was torture.

The only thing that kept u from thinking about ur looks and ur ex boyfriend was ur work.Those 8 Hours of disstraction were good,u dont have to think about anything exept getting ur work done.As u left ur work building at 9 u noticed someone standing near the entrance that seemed....familiar.

„Rindou what are u doing here“ u asked the youinger Haitani Brother.

„We are holding a Party this friday at 10 i want u to come “he said dryly.

„Ran wants me to come hmm“ u hummed.

„No,i want you to come.And i know the exact reason why u broke up with him“his purple eyes looked into ur soul.

„And the reason is....“u asked annoyed.

„Ur inescure u think ur fat ugly and u cant do shit and that Ran is perfect and that one day he will think that ur ugly and all that “Rindou nailed it,it was the exact reason why u enden things with his Brother.

„But how would you fell when u see so many girls hitting on him that look so much better tan yourself,ran deserves so much more than me than a dan loser that is insecure as fuck and ugly and...“a tear slipped down ur face mid sentence.

„Tell that Ran and not me......so i will expect u on Friday“he left u with that sentence.

❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁

It was Friday.Today was the Party and Ran hopped that u would come,he was in need to talk to you,he needed to clear things with you.Cause if not he would slowly start to go insane.

The music was loud and the party was i full go,but there was no sight of u.Ran stood on the second floor of the appartment and looked down at the guests he was in such a trance that he did not notice that a female was standing beside him.

„U are so lost in your toughts pretty boy what are u thinking about“she slurred.Was probably drunk.

„Leave me alone i have a fucking girlfriend u dumb bitch“he lashed out at her.

The woman left the second floor and Ran looked back down,but there was no sight of u.

„U have a girlfriend hmm“a voice beside him whisperd.

As he looked besid he saw ur pretty face.

„U came“he sounded surprised.

„I know i am late but i needed to get some work down sry“u apologized to the male.

„No worries love“

„So Rindou told u what i said...to him“u asked.

„Yes he did“he hummed in response.

„What made u think i am perfect.....“

„Ran u hair always looks good and mine is greasy after only two days,u go to the gym daily i only walk and thats not doing much for my body i am still not at my dream weight,u look good in everything while i look fat and so ugly in everything.....“u wanted to contine but u felt two fingers gripping ur face.Ran turned ur face towards you.

„SHUT the Fuck up u look good“he said in a angry tone.

„Babe u are the most perfect thing i have ever seen ,no women EVER compares to u not to ur beauty and ur pretty body u look like an angel from heaven.If u think that any girl compares to you u are delusional as fuck ur the only one to for me u understand“

Tears formed in ur eyes as u looked up into his unique purple eyes.

„Thank u....i love u ran“u whisperd.

And both of ur lips connected.Ran was pressing his body against yours,he broke off the kiss and looked u into the eyes.

„Dont do that to me again“his voice sounded vunerable and almost hurt.

U made ur answere clear by pulling him into a heated kiss.

❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁

[makib1tch]

ummm all of them 😅

OKAY OKAY THISLL BE LONG BUT ILL TRY

the character everyone gets wrong : Alnst Luka. LIKE I GET THAT PEOPLE DONT LIKE HIM BUT HE ISNT THE VILLAIN. THE ALIENS ARE THE FUCKING VILLAINS. Like I lowkey feel like he doesn’t understand that what he’s doing is wrong. Like he wants to survive. Thats how the alien taught him too. DONT GET ME STARTED ILL RAMBLE WAY TOO FUCKIN MUCH

a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom: uhhh my fav is Aventurine and I see him as a switch sooooo….idk 🥲🥲🥲🥲.

screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr : uuuuuuh idk sorry

what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person? : idk if it counts but like I had a friend I vented to her and told her I $h and she started to insult me and yea I was having a panic attack and blocked her

worst discord server and why : I’m never on discord so idk

which ship fans are the most annoying? Not all of them (I sometimes ship it too) but aventio/ratiorine/call them what u want idc. Like. There are ratiorine shippers who are like "OOOOHOOHH AVENTURINE IS SUCH A HORNY BOTTOM WHOREEE AND RATIO IS A HORNY DOM EUZKZKALALAL" and then they go and ruin the entire fucking characters. Like I like the ship when it’s done right. When they respect the fuckin characters. Not when they ship them out of pure horniness. BUT NOT ALL OF THEM. Oh and it’s the same for Ruikasa (pjsk) shippers.

what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them? : I used to hate Ratio. Because of the weird ratiorine shippers.

common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about : THAT LUKA FROM

ALNST IS THE VILLAIN

worst part of canon : idkidkkdk

worst part of fanon : idk too sorry im shit at ask games

number of fandom-related words you've filtered : none

the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them : Alnst Luka. Again with him. HES SUCH A FUCKIN INTERESTING AND COMPLEX CHARACTER ILOVE HIM

worst blorboficiation : the fuck is that?

that one thing you see in fics all the time : in x reader like "you have blue eyes and black hair" THEN NO THATS NOT AN X READER

that one thing you see in fanart all the time: aaaaaahh idkk I see way too much fanarts everyday

you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc) : Hyuna x Luka. I don’t understand. They’re so toxic like

there should be more of this type of fic/art: anyone comforting aventurine. My baby needs comfort. I love him. I want to hug him

it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on... : i don’t think people have been sleeping on but idk she still doesn’t get enough credit everyone go read @aventurineswife ‘s fics they’re so fuckin good.

you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like... : those x reader fics that are written out of straight up horniness. They be having the most obscene and devious devilish things.

part of canon you found tedious or boring : the whole xianzhou luofu quest ig. Expect for Tingyun I love her. But like idk I was kinda bored in it. Maybe it’s just me idk

part of canon you think is overhyped : Himekos death in csm. Like I saw people being super sad but like…idk. I didnt feel sad for her. I felt bad for Aki since he was sad yeah. But Himeko like her death didn’t do anything for me.

your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores : AAAAAAAH IDK IM SORRY

ship you've unwillingly come around to : Ratiorine, I used to hate it. Now I like it. (I’m not sure I understood the question lmao)

topic that brings up the most rancid discourse : The hospital scene in the End of Evangelion. I don’t have to explain. I think just no one should talk about it.

common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing : "Denji is a dumb pervert."

OK FINALLY FINISHED I TOOK WAY TOO FUCKIN LONG TO ANSWER THIS

I’m shit at ask games sorry lmao

[jenxsaiv]

[One Shot] JJ Maybank - Forbidden love

PAIRING: dom!jj maybank x fem!reader

SUMMARY: JJ eating you out for the first time during beach night. But JJ is a pogue and you are a kook and that's the only problem.

WARNINGS: smut, kissing, hickeys, oral (receiving)

A/N: so this is my first time writing something like this and also english is my second language so im sorry if I wrote something wrong

..........................................................................................

It was dark outside. You were laying with JJ on the beach alone. You went there to surf and after it you decided to stay for a whole night. You both were a couple for almost one year. He loved you so much as you do.

Your relationship was a secret. Your parents had their own hospital in outer banks so you born as a kook. JJ were a pogue with family issues. And it was the reason why u met.

Two years ago he saw your brother screaming at you and almost hit you. He decided to stop him and yeah it was the moment when he wanted to protects you. You became friends but no one aroud knew it at the beginning. After a few months he introduced you to his friends.

You were so happy. You finally had someone in your life who you loved so much. He was your comfort zone. JJ was the first person who really protected you.

''JJ I want you to know that you are my favorite person and I appreciate everything you do for me'' you said looking into his eyes. He looked at you back and hugged you.

''Y/N you know I love you. I hate that we have to hide us" He was right. It was sick. But you were from two different worlds. You were tired of hiding your relationship.

''We should move out to Miami. " He added and kissed you. You and JJ spend do much time at talking about your future and you planned to move out together somewhere you can life as you should.

"When we end our school I'm ready to do it" you answered to him. He kissed your lips and then started kissing your neck, leaving there hickeys. You were laying under him on the sand in empty beach. He was the first person with which you felt comfortable and you didn't have to act ''perfect doctors' daughter''.

His lips felt amazing. He knew how to do that stuff. JJ put his hands on your hips. He loved your body. You were insecured about so many parts of your body but he literally didnt know why. He found every centimeters of your body perfect.

At the moment when he touched your bikinis bottom he looked at you. Of course you were kissing but that's all. You wasn't ready to do something more and he understood that and he told you he will wait until you were ready.

"Y/N can i? Are you okay?" He asked you. You loved it how much he cared about you. Were you ready? Yes, you were.

"Yeah JJ you can do it" You answered him. He took off your bikinis bottom. It was a middle of the night and everything was dark. You werent feel that much shy and insecure because of it.

''Sweetheart I dont think this is a perfect time and place to do all this stuff because it can hurt you. But im gonna feel you good." he told you kissing your thighs. Hes touch and lips were made you feel incredible. JJ slowly started kissing your clit. He definitely knew what he was doing and how you felt. No one never did this to you.

"JJ-" you sighed. He smiled when felt how good he was doing to you. You never dreamt about being eating by your amazing boyfriend on the beach in the middle of the night. Every minute you felt better and better. You heard about being eating out never thought it can be that good.

"You deserve it" He said when you came. It was feeling unreal. You expected that your boyfriend knew how to make you feel good but this was awesome.

"I love you y/n, you're so pretty" He whisped to you while dressed you in your bikinis bottom and his tshirt. The sky with stars was perfect tonight. Perfect as everything what happend a few minutes ago.

[justjensenanddean]

Jensen Ackles and Jeffrey Dean Morgan | New Jersey Convention, Main Panel (April 16, 2023)

(x)

“hey dad! times been good to ya” (x)

when jensen and danneel had crushes on each other but were tied up with other people jensen wrote her a note that said “not now. but someday” and she still has it (x)

jdm was on jensens first date with danneel bc JENSEN INVITED HIM BC HE HAD NO IDEA IT WAS A FIRST DATE (x)

jensen: jdm got off a motorcycle in slomo and i saw hilarie’s jaw on the floor. she had no idea who he was (x)

fan: fav backstage moment from cons jdm: when i told everyone i was having a daughter bc i wasnt supposed to  (x)

jensen: when we announced the end of spn and at SDCC there were 7000 people and i told jared “take this in. this is it”  (x)

*everyone arguing over an answer* jensen; glad we figured that out. great job jdm: im still confused (x)

jensen got in trouble for sharing info abt a project last con so he will not be saying ANYTHING (x)

fan; SOLDIER BOY COMING BACK? jensen: uh…….no comment  (x)

theyre talking about their daughters jdm: mine will be the death of me jensen: one will be the death of me and the other will take care of me jdm; mine will be twerking over my grave jensen: HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW DADDY  (x)

.@JDMorgan : the year I did #Supernatural and Grey's Anatomy changed my life #SPNNJ (x)

.@JensenAckles getting the part of Tony in West Side Story in high school was life changing - after his baseball coach talked him into doing it. (x)

(x)

the drama teacher at Jensen’s school wanted him to be in the spring musical and his baseball coach was like “you’ve played with me for three years. go give this a shot i promise we’ll be in the front row”  (x)  a talent scout was at the play and told jensen that he had it and he should come to LA and he went “lol take a hike” (x)  THE ROLE WAS TONY IN WEST SIDE STORY!!! and his whole baseball team was like “woah ” (x)

jensen: getting into the industry is harder now that it was back then jdm: i dont even know how to get an agent now jensen: yeah dont ask us for advice  (x)

Question: Jensen, what was your favorite thing about soldier boy? JDM: the codpiece. *crowd laughs* JDM: sorry, I thought you were asking me.  (x)

the boots soldier boy wore on the show are the same ones that dean wore on spn. they’re called carolinas  (x)

jensen: jdm texted me when i was getting fitted and he was immediately like “SHOW ME THE COD PIECE” and i was like “perfect timing i have five of them lined up which one” AND JDM SAID “PICK THE BIGGEST ONE” (x)

fan; nash was amazing. is there hope for touring in the future for radio co? jensen: thanks it took a lot of drugs jdm: he’s not lying  (x)

jensen: touring might be aggressive but anything is on the table  (x)

jdm: i watched it online and i remember texting you being like “what the fuck is going on that was amazing” (x)

jensen looked at steve and said “this is a bad idea we should leave” right before going on bc louden swain KILLED and they didnt wanna follow that  (x)

.@JensenAckles : even tho it was a vengeful mission, John set out to right a wrong. In The Winchesters we wanted to show John before that trauma.  (x)

jensen says the pilot of spn “holds up today”  (x)

fan: whats your fav format to play in (movies, tv, voice acting, etc) jdm; whatever has the best writing. we knew supernatural was going to be good by the first ep (x)

jensen turns towards tv bc he doesnt know where it’ll go and where it will end (x)

jensen: ive done soap operas and that was 20-24 pages of dialogue a day (x)

APPARENTLY ONE TIME JENSEN TAPED JEFF’S DIALOGUE TO HIS CHEST AND HE WAS LIKE “WE GOTTA GET THROUGH THE DAY LOOK AT MY TITS”  (x)

JENSEN TALKING ABOUT FRIENDS AND HE YELLS “PIVOT” (x)

jensen: i heard “anyway you want it” in the car and almost got out before the second chorus hit bc i thought i was late for stage (x)

fan: go to karaoke song? jensen: have u ever done karaoke? jdm: never in my life. i think you asked me once and i said “goodnight 👋🏻 ” jensen: right but it was more like “goodnight 🖕🏻  (x)

(x)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for circumventing a block to find out why i was blocked?

so i (13f at the time) was blocked by one of my mutuals (17m) all of a sudden, and i was pretty hurt and surprised because i thought we were friends. so i asked some mutual friends like "uh hey can u ask (person) why he blocked me?" like if its an issue with me id love to know and change? i saw one of the mutual friends ask for me and then he replied but since i was blocked obvs i couldnt see the reply. i still didnt get an answer and then got blocked by some other mutuals (also they were all like, 17-20). i was getting kinda worried id done something wrong so i switched to a diff acc to see what they were saying, and then asked them again what was up cuz i was seriously getting confused! (i cant rmbr exactly what i said but i mustve mentioned seeing what theyd said so they knew id circumvented the block)

then one of the mutual friends dropped like a full google doc on me explaining why they thought i was annoying and immature (because the OTHER 13yo in the friend group was much more mature, so they were dropping me)

in my defense, i was seriously just confused and wanted to know what was up, especially because i thought we were, yknow, friends. i thought friends might at least let each other know hey, im not gonna follow you anymore because (the stated reason was) im not interested in x fandom anymore.

anyway im still pretty salty cuz i was 13 and i remember feeling so cool that i was friends with a bunch of older people, and they were my first international friends too. really soured my internet experience honestly 😖

What are these acronyms?

[blamemma]

pretend you’re daniels manager— top 5 career moves for him /rebrands you would do (ex: projects, specific talk shows, etc)

HAHAHAHAHAAHHA THIS QUESTION WAS MADE FOR ME I GOT ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD FOR THIS ONE

bring back no brakes. ur nothing without a core fandom. small levels of fan service are what keep people entertained in you and supporting you and wanting to keep up with what you're doing. it doesnt have to be race weekend vlogs. but at least a fried chicken video every now and again.

fire whoever is in charge of enchante and put me (and rand) in charge of it. it needs changing from the bottom up. financing, warehousing, marketing, everything. change all of it. bring back real merch. keep your fun flirty fashion pieces as well. but let me see a '3' insignia back on that merch right fucking now.

fire caa. idc how much good they've done for u commercially. they've done a significant amount of wrong moves as well. an agency will always care about money first. abandon the i'm so happy and i'm not an asshole persona they've forced upon u. bring back being a cunt. its what makes u the racer u are.

new pr person. or a pr person full stop. end podcast appearances. get interviewed by a woman for once (and not one who is married to a raging misogynist and hides it behind comedy.) bring back podcasts (the one blake scotty and daniel were meant to do)

jack berg flies everywhere with daniel. takes photos of daniel everywhere. when he's having a poo. photo. when he's working out. photo. when he's jerking off. photo. when he's punching a wall. photo.

EDIT: sorry i just realised this didnt acc answer ur ask at all. u asked me to be specific lol. im so sorry. i saw daniels manager and career moves and said RIGHT

[axelakim]

Title: Regret

Pairing: Ben Chilwell X Reader

Content: angst, fluff

You and ben have been a couple for about 4 years now. Both of you really love and understand each other, moreover for the past 1 year, you two can not be separated from each other because you have moved to Ben's house and that what makes you two more and more in love.

The season chelsea have been through was not really good. The club end up in 12th place in pl rank and there are lots of rumour of his teammates gonna go to another clubs, that's the reason why Ben always get home angry and not in the mood for the past 1 month. Like today, the traning session went well but the match wasn't. Chelsea lost 2 points against Liverpool, you've watched the game at home because youre working and got into some of accident when you were buying coffe at the supermarket across the office till your left palm wounded but u said to Ben that u just feeling a bit sick so you can't make it to the pitch. So you just waiting for Benji to reach home in the livingroom.

Not long after that, you heard your boyfriend opened the door and having such a disappointed and tired look in his face.

"Hei benjii, are u okay love?" while hiding ur left hand

"Yea i'm fine" he didn't even give you kisses when you welcome him.

He directly went to the kitchen and open the fridge "Why the hell there is no food in here? You didn't cook?" he asked

"No im sorry, i didn't cook because im feeling unwell and i just wanted to got home directly on my way home"

"Oh yea right" hearing him just responding u like that is kinda hurt but u dont want to make him more stressed out, so you just ignore it

"Should i cook for you? or we just order some food? what do you want?"

"No need, ill order it later by myself" while putting his dirty clothes in the basket

"Eum how are you today? any stories?" you asked wanted to know more about his day

"You still asking me? you saw me lost right, fucking lost and here you are still asking me about how am i, dont play dumb Y/N you already know how terrible i am now, if you want some attention the answer is not now"

this is the first time he snapped at you, his whole face turning red

Your heart was aching but again u just hold it

"Can u chill out? I just want to know more about my boyfriend's day. Is that so wrong?" holding up your tears

"Yes its so fucking wrong, youve already saw me lost today and u still asking me about my day, and always asking me the same annoying questions when i get home" he answered

"Oh so im the one who is wrong here huh?" you replied

"Yeah because you always so chatty about many things, this and that and also annoying"

You continued, "well maybe your decision to asked me move out with you was wrong then huh?"

"Kinda regret it indeed" he said it cold and went upstairs to your shared room

You frozen for a second hearing what he said, u just went blanking and dont know what to do. Your heart is aching so much, the questions youve always asked him that you consider it as an act of caring but ur boyfriend seemed didn't really happy about it. You always have his back and support all of the things he does but seems it is not enough for him.

You decided to put your jacket on and take your car's key. You told your security at home to open the gate and said to him that you just wanted to go to the supermarket.

After ben done showering, he went downstairs to check up on you because he felt guilty about the argument earlier but you weren't in the living room so he tried to find you in the guest bedroom but u also weren't there, he tried to call your name

"Y/N.... Y/N, are u here babe?" all around the house but he didnt find you

Then he heard some knock on the door, he thought it was you but it turned your best friend, Camilla.

" Omg you camilla, i thought it was Y/N"

"What shes not home? where is she ben?"

"Shes home when i arrived then after i showered shes gone"

"You should find her, her car missing i thought u used it but youre here and her hand wounded because of this morning accident, she really need a rest, im so worried rn"

"What? what accident? she didnt tell me anything? oh my lord, i messed up real bad, fuck it"

"Dont you say youve had some argument earlier ben?" camilla narrowed her eyes

"Yes yes we had it okay, and it was kinda really bad camilla, she must gone because of it, ,im so stupid, ill go find her rn"

"Damn it you chilwell, find my friend rn or you dead with me!"

They both go out to the security guard and asked about you, its almost midnight and you havent even come back home. Ben really worried about you and getting more stressed out. He called you so many tjmes but seems you have blocked his contact, then he called all of his friends and bodyguard acquaintances to find you. He also went to all of your favorite places but still he didn't find you. He drove his car with tears coming down on his cheek, he really regret what he have done to you, you didn't deserve to be treated like that. You are his princess, best friend, and also partner in everything, how could he be so mean, how could he let anger overwhelm him.

Its 3.30 am, hes still on the road till he got a call from a guy name Franky his bodyguard acquaintances, he said he found u because u use your credit card to stay in a hotel. Ben directly went to that hotel and asking your room number to the receptionist, glad that he knew ben and knew that you are his girlfriend so he let him to have the spare key.

Ben already there, in front of room 305 your room. He got in and found the silent and dark room. He turned on the light and saw you slept peacefully on the king size bed. He saw your puffy face and traces of tears that still wet on your cheeks. He checked your wounded palm too, looking at you like this made him really felt terrible rn.

Benji checked your silent phone and found so many missed calls from him, camilla, and others. Benji sent text to camilla first to tell her that youre okay. After that he just lay beside and hugging you till he fell asleep.

In the morning you awake and realized youre not home, but u felt someones arm hugging u from behind, u wanted to shout out at first but then u recognize the hand and also the tattooes. ITS MR CHILWELL.

You try to get up and let go his grip slowly, but Benji noticed.

"Hi baby" u just silent at his raspy voice, youre mad at him but also missing him sm at the same time.

"Hey i know you awake love, come here, let me see your face"

You try to hold ur body but u cant, he managed to turn your body to face his. His face looked so calm now not like last night. He smiled at you for a awhile.

He suddenly kiss your lips and u wipe it

"Huftt i know u must be really mad at me rn, im sorryy babe, i messed up"

"Oh you call me babe now?"

"Sorry sorryy Y/N, babe, i really regret what i did to you last night, im sorry, i let my emotion took control of me" he pleaded

"Yea" that was all u said, tried to get up from his tight hands around you

"No no youre not going anywhere" he said

"Huftt... i dont know Ben, im really dissappointed at you right now. The way u treated me last night make me feel like u dont love me anymore. You really know it well that i dont like when people raised their voice on me especially the people i love, you" u said it in tears

"Baby i know, i know you we've been together for 4 years. I really know it well, im sorry that i treated you like youre somekind of punching bag to me. It was just the effect of bad season and the rumour about my teammates, i just really stress and dont know what to do. Instead i let out my anger and bad mood all to you, while all u did for me was just supporting and taking care of me. Im sorry that i called you annoying i didnt mean it. You always such a loving and caring person especially to me , i really lucky to have you in my life. Im the one whos being a dick all the time since the bad season coming for chels" he said it all in tears also

You touched, you know u shouldnt go easy to him after he breaking ur heart like that. But you love him and you know frpm the deep down of your heart that he really didnt mean it. He even put so much effort to find you. You sighs and continue

"I know, you just stressed out but im here as your partner to comfort you, taking care you, hearing you, and loving you okay not a place for you to let out your anger out. I just wanted to support you Ben in every obstacles on your life, dont get it wrong. And ya maybe sorry if im being too much chatty in your house too, ill try reduce it"

"Love noo, its our house not my house. Its ours not only mine, and no youre not chatty im sorry you just wanted to take care of me and please do it for me" he smiled wiping off your tears

"I really regret my act last night, give me one chance to make us better" he continued

"Um noo" you answered

"Baby what do you mean no" he afraid of the possibility of breaking up and losing you

"Are you not gonna forgive and give me a chance?" he panicking

"I do give you a chance but i cant forgive you yet" you said "It was just too much for me, you know it right?"

"Okay okayy, im glad to hear that thank you sweet" he kissed you

"How do i make it up then baby?"

"With a rope and handcuffs maybe?"

"Oh you want to have playtime? thats easy babe. We just need to get home first"

"Yea playtime but this time im not the one whos being tied and hancuffed"

"You mean me?? hell no" benji refused it

"Okay then no sleeping with me for the next 1 week" you threathen

"Noooo, okay okay babyyy im down for it, youre the dom for tonight's playtime" he smiled

"Yayyy and can i ask one more thing again?"

you pleaded with puppy eyes

"Anything for my baby"

"Can you accompany me to watch barbie and going shopping for barbie related things?"

"Yes you can love, its easier than to be a sub for a playtime" he carresed your cheek

"Now can you forgive me now? I need an official statement from you"

"Yeaa kindaaa"

"I take it as a yes princess, and dont ever you call me Ben again, its terrifying"

You indeed never call him by his real name its always Benji, love, baby, babe, etc, because if you call him by his real name he knows it well that he has messed up real bad with you and he didnt like that also.

"And btw why u didnt tell me about thi" ben asked pointing to your wounded hand

"Dont want u to be worried to much at me while youre on the pitch" you smiled innocently

"Love u have to tell me okay, im sorry i didnt even paying attention to it"

"Its okay, im okay now"

"Have you bring it to the doctor?"

"Yes i have, yesterday and she said its totally okay, i just need to treat it well and change my bandages"

"Hmm i see, lets get home right now and take care your wound okay, you also owe me a story of this little accident"

"I will tell u in car, lets get out pf here right now benjii, im hungryy"

"Lets goo, but kiss me first and say i love you baby"

"Why?? u always like it when i call you Benji"

" I like it but baby is more special to me, also just want to make sure you really forgive me :)"

"I forgive you Mr.Ben Chilwell" you kissed him in a passionate kiss, quite long kiss the you two pull out

"And i really love you baby, thats the reason why i cant stay mad at you" rub your nose against his

"But promise me you will never do that again?"

"Promise princess, i will make you happy, im sorry about yesterday alright love? I really regret it, i love you so much"

You two once again pull in for a kiss and then checked out from the hotel and going home.

[stevie-petey]

Hi m! I'm not sure if you remember but I sent you an ask a long time ago, around the end of season three about season four. About bug and max and vecna? I had some more thoughts if you're open to hearing them!

First of all can I just say the phone call came out of the blue for me, and I think it was genius. I knew that Jonathan was gonna miss bug but I never thought it'd be like that. And I really loved dear Billy, we're beginning to see how much it's going to affect bug seeing max being targeted, and how bug literally invited vecna to take her instead of max. Also the scene of Steve and Nancy at the trailer park was perfection. You did a really good job opening a gateway for bugs insecurity and fear to slip through, and the same with Steve and Dustin! I'm not totally sure how Nancy and bugs relationship is going to go in a matter of how they deal with their feelings. Like Nancy's problems with Jonathan, and bugs problem with Jonathan and her insecurities about Steve. Also Steve's relationship issues with bug partially caused by Jonathan . What I'm most curious about is the plan of luring vecna. At first I didn't know who'd bug go with, I couldn't find a place for her where steve wouldn't object. He wouldn't want her with him in the upsidedown because it's too dangerous. If something happens he won't be able to help her, or vecna would sense her somehow due to the psychic connection he has. Since Steve doesn't want her in the upsidedown that rules out Dustin and Eddie. Which leaves Max, Lucas and Erica, but I really don't think Steve would trust bug with Max. He couldn't trust bug not to throw herself in danger to protect max. So that leaves her with Erica on lookout. At the same time I don't think bug would leave max alone. I don't think she'd abandon her post necessarily but I have a feeling she'd have a plan to save max. The second she hears or sees something wrong she's gonna rush in, but maybe she can't get to the attic in time? Who knows! Vecna is very tricky but he can't trance two people at one time. I still think bugs attacks will happen after max is sacrificed. Her trances will still progress like it did with the other victims but in the end it'll still be Max. Maybe bug will have her own floaty moment but I don't think vecna would kill her. She will have her own uses in season five. I really think after the panic dies down there's gonna be a lot of turmoil in the group since Steve knows about the phone call and Nancy probably won't know? And when bug calls him back, I feel like Steve might take that as confirmation, that would feed into his abandonment issues. I also saw the post about Claudia maybe dying? If that does happen dear God. Imagine bug waking up in the hospital, and she sees max. She's heartbroken, then she starts to think about Dustin and her mom, when everyone is at the cabin meeting up with the rest of the party bug sneaks back to her house, only to find a huge crack where her house used to be. That would be her last straw. It would take alot for her to come back from that. Like I don't even think Steve or Jonathan could. Dustin and Joyce can keep her from going off the deep end but it'd be a lot. Maybe you can do some kind of healing things where her dad is the one to help her, but I can see this only growing her resentment for her father 10x. She'd be very depressed. I also had the idea about vecna making the party choose between bug and max that I'm not sure if I sent it to you before. Bug goes into a trance and for those few minutes max wakes up, but when bug comes back max goes back too. Bug would be put on lockdown after that. Everyone knows she'd do anything to get Max back. It'd be very dramatic and heartbreaking for the party to see.

i DO remember the ask you sent and i specifically didnt answer because you touched on a whole bunch of plots i was planning and u predicted a LOT so i was like oh damn anon ur in my mind.

as for THIS ask ,,,,, whew ! all i will say is that choosing who bug would stay with for the final ep was agonizing because i truly had no idea how to mend that plot hole. she wouldnt leave max alone, nor dustin, nor steve. so it was. very rough deciding.

however !!! i came up with a quasi solution that im very excited to show yall when the time comes. im proud of how i shifted canon and fit my own bug prerogative in lmao.

as for everything else in this ask: wait n see <3

[leynaeithnea]

Hi :)

here is a lil ask to use whenever you're ready to go insane about love in paradise ( go nuts with your analysis!!! Make it a thousand pages essay!!! Or half a sentence, anything you want love<3 )

YeS YES YES YES THANK YOU AAAH here you go seven pages/3600 words essay :>

TW, for SA/Sxcide mention/discussion, you know the deal with the song

29. Love In Paradise

THE DIVE INTO THE SOUND SCAPE WITH THE CHOIR, the melody, and the clicking clock??? SO GOOD

“Old friend” FRIEND Aaaah U FINIALLY ADMIT IT

“It′s been 10 years since I last saw you” YOU DIDNT CHECK ON HIM IN 10 YEARS GIRL

“Remember me, I am the infamous, Odysseus!, Oh, woah-oh, woah-oh” This was the last time she saw him, its been 10 years, she quick minded him right after that, and HASNT SEEN HIM SINCE--- i love how it is sped up and you can visualize her literally diving through his memories in a timelapse

“Let’s see where you′ve been” FINIALLY, but also thE VOCAL PERFORMANCE (this is me like 90% of this saga, im obssessed)

I LOVE the soundscape of the flashbacks, the way that sounds with a mild echo like in big room? just...in his mind?? IDK how to call it but ITS SO GOOD

“Keep your friends close and your enemies closer” - the first thing that went wrong “Ruthlessness is mercy upon oursel-” BIG THING THAT WENT WRONG

“One wrong move and you’re done for

Anything I-” close call

“Song of past romance I see the” smart way to recall the underworld saga AND bring up the sirens, followed by

“We won’t take more suffering from you”, the way that ody embraced his monster

“Drown in your sorrow and fears” -that didnt go well very long, also, timelaps is slowing down, we’re getting closer to the events that answer where he spent the last years

“Captain? - I have to see her - But we′ll die -I know”, the last moments before he disappeared, making him suffer terribly again at the hands of her father >:)

“Odysseus... where did you go?” she sounds so worrieddddd, her voice tho, pls mother dearest

THE MUSIC, is so coool the island vibes? the dodo do do dodo, the birds and the shore and the....instrument whos name i forgot the tip-tap thing is soo comfy vibesssss, beach island holiday vibes!!

“Morning, sleepyhead, You′ve been resting for a while, I swore that you were dead when you washed up on my isle”.......i need...visuals......i need the most angsty visuals i can get of this, please, i need to see him wash up, more dead then alive and then unconscious for who knows how long, with his stab wound, the concussion from Eurys punch, whatever wounds he got from the lighting hitting his ship AND almost drowning, getting taking care of by her until he wakes up again...

“Did you know you talk in your sleep? Tell me though, who’s Penelope?” ........is she hoping that he’ll say his sister or was she just trying to make small talk?

“She′s my wife”, he sounds so tired/distanced from the situation, her reminding him instantly of the one thing he’s holding on to, maybe remembering what just happened, he needs to go back...

HER SILENCE AFTER THAT IS SO TELLINGS SEGGSEIGS THE ANIMATIC WAS HILARIOUS, i love gigi

and then the “anyways!” WHAT DO YOU MEAN “ANYWAYS” SHE IS HIS LOVE HIS LIGHT HIS REASON YOU DONT ANYWAYS PENELOPE ahem, im vibing so hard to this tho

“I’ve got all you could want here, all you could need here” sounds nice, i would 100% fall under her spell, her voice is beatiful

“Just you and me, my dear, my love for life” uh oh where is this going, huh?? huh???? >:) Ma’am, this is not yours

“Soon, into bed we′ll climb and spend our time” DONT U FUCKING DARE TOUCH HIM HES BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH HES THE ONLY FAITHFUL MAN IN ANCIENT GREECE LET HIM BEEEEEEEEE

“I’m not your man-” THE JUST A MAN REPHRASING? EXCUSE ME???? this is going so differently compared to Circes there are other ways, he has no interest in her, all he wants is to go back home, hes sacrificed the rest of his crew for that, he. needs. to go. home. (the delivery tho omg so good)

“I′m what you want here, I’m what you need here, Just you and me, my love in paradise, Now ‘til the end of time” he does not need you, he does not want you, this is not paradise for him, get the fuq away from my baby girl odysseus, i know youre lonely on your little island, i know zeus did you wrong, BUT THAT DOES NOT GIVE YOU ANY RIGHT TO TAKE CLAIM TO ODYSSEUS; HE IS NOT YOUR MAN

“From here on out, you′re mine, all mine” possissive much, fuck off >:) also thats what he greets him with? thats....not...no. he’s been through so much, he fought in a war he never wanted to go to for ten years, he used a wooden horse to finially end the war because he just needed to go back home, he had to kill a child to choose his family, they were safe on their way home when his best friend got killed, then they almost made it home, but the bag was opened, most of his crew died, his men got turned into pigs and he got another round of the gods playing games with him (see: hermes telling Ody not to refuse circe in homers odyssey when she wants to take him to bed, so he doesnt, he cant refuse the demands of gods), once they finially leave their island with his men back as humans, they have to go through the underworld where EVERY loss he had (which are more than he knew) comes back to haunt him, he learns his family is in danger, theres blood in his palace, all his mercy is harming him, so he embraces the thing he never wanted to be - a monster - and when the sirens come, he kills them, but he has to go further than that, the only way to get home is to sacrifice six of his men, so he does, six more men to haunt his dreams, if thats the price he has to pay he will, but his men turn on him, his trusted brother in law, not only opened the windbag, now he also starts a mutiny, the men he tried to bring home so badly betray him, stab him, bind him to a statue and he can do nothing but watch as they kill the cattle, his doom is sealed, zeus shows up and tells him to either choose himself, or his crew, hes a broken man, how much more has he to go through before he can go home? but he has to home to his family, so he chooses, his last decision he has to make, and he sinks into the ocean, thinking maybe, he can finally close his eyes, he needs to go home but he is so tired of suffering he would welcome an end of it...but then he wakes up, on this peaceful island, with a woman next to him, who suddenly puts claim on him, she wants him IN HER BED??? He needs to go home. he’s alive, he survived zeus and poseidon and aelus and circe and the underoworld and the war and-...he became the monster, he knows what to do, just another face in his nightmares to get home

“Hell no, I could kill you where you stand” he just has to be the monster

“I′m no pet, I’m a married man” HE HAS TO HIGHLIGHT THAT HE IS MARRIED TO HER AH, the fact that he feels like she sees him as a pet? picked up like a stray dog and kept as a pet....he is not that, i also love his electric guitar is in the background together with the ticking clock of the time dive

“Oh handsome, you may try, But last I checked, goddesses can′t die” she doesnt feel threatened by him at all, because she is a goddess, how could a mortal man refuse her? he cant, even if he tries, he has no choice (but also, i hate jorge for dropping this line, just before godgames, ITS LEAVING US NOT KNOWIng WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED THERE)

THEN THE DROP IN THE MUSIC AH its becoming so imposing and threatening AND ITS SO COOL

“Goddess?” terrified, here they go again, another goddess, he is powerless against these forces, it cant be, he needs to get home, how can his luck be so bad?

“You’re adorable” SHE DOES SEE HIM LIKE A PET, HE CALLS HIM CUTE; HE DOESNT FEEL ANY THREAT FROM HIM; HES A GODDESS HES JUST A MAN AH

“Bow down now to the immortal Calypso” CALYPSO YOU BITCH LEAVE MY MAN ALONE; but liek The fuQing audacity? to ask him to bow down? you just told him hes the love of your life and now you ask him to bow down???? THE POWER IMBALANce is so stRONG IN THIS ONE I CANT EVEN

“Here to entertain” entertain who? mh?? YOURSELF? with your new “pet”? NO shut up

“But fear not, I bring no pain” Calpyso, come a bit closer so i can punch you, youre KEPEign him on YOUR ISLAND; THE LACK OF ACTion IS WHATS goNNA KILL HIM; NOT YOU HURTING HIM PHYSICALLY; YOU TORTURE HIM IN the WORST WAYS emotionALLY SO GET AWAYYYYYYYYYY FROM PENELOPES MAN

“Cause we′ve got, All we could want here, All we could need here”, the way she keeps approaching him, dancing around him and trying to get close, while he keeps backing away and trying to get away From her is killing me, they have everything they need to survive yes, which means he does not have to do any work, he has NOTHING to distract him from you, all he can do is do what you tell him to because youre a goddess and he’s at your mercy and SUFFER sitting with his own thoughts and all his regret and shame and pain and trauma and yearing to go back home

“Under my spell, we’re stuck in paradise” fuck you. this is not paradise, this is hell :) :) :) RELEASE HIM

“No one can come or go, my island stays unknown” this, might very well be the worst moment for Ody so far, after EVERYTHING he’s been through. He choose his crew to die, it was supposed to be the last decision, it was supposed to be the climatic event before the end, all the expectations and tensions that rose in him getting set so high but instead..... nothing happens, he gets stuck in “paradise”, no monsters to fight,its not violent, theres no external threads to his life, things should be good, and happy and peaceful. its anti-climatic, and stifling because he has no way to release all this tension, its just stagnation, and all this tension getting internalized, it might very well be worse than having something you can fight against, but Calypso is a goddess, he cant harm her, her spell keeps him stuck on the island, he is powerless. His goal, his reason, his hope impossibly out of reach, all in the hand of this goddess, who doesn’t take no as an answer

“no, no” i love how Jorge wrote another “suffering” thing again, where the last syllable of one speaker gets picked up by the other “unknown” “no” becoming “Unknowno,no” its SO GOOD, but also the implications???? the last time we had this a siren wanted to seduce him and lure him into the water, now its a goddess wanting to lure him into loving and staying with her, again, he tries to find excuses and fend her off, his argumentation is a lot weaker than with the sirens though, he doesnt have a way out, all he can do is refuse and pray she listens, also CALYPSO BITCH THERES NO CLEARER WAY HE COULDVE SAID “NO”; LEAVE HIM BE; HE SAID NO FUCKING ACCEPT THAT HE DOES NOT CONSENT

“I don′t belong here”, he doesnt, time passes, he has to tell himself that this isnt where he’s meant to be, he needs to go, he has to leave.

“There’s something wrong here”, how many times do you think he almost gave in? how many times do you think she was lured in by her spell only to shake the spell off again because he kept feeling that something was wrong, never really falling under her spell, never staying under it for long, because its wrong, this isnt where he needs to be, he needs to get home because his family is waiting at home, theyre in danger.

“I won’t be drawn to love in paradise, not ′til the end of time, there is no way” she just has nothing on penelope. and he will never be interested in calypso as seductive as she tries to be, circe failed, calyspo fails even worse (i love these vocal performances man, theyre SO GOOD)

“You′re mine, all mine” Annnnnd she doesnt take no as answer again, shes so possessive I HATE it, how she drowns out Odys “theres no way - youre mine, all mine” she drowns out and swallows up his voice, ignores him, his voice goes unheard...

and we go back to the clock ticking of the time dive of athena

“Seven years, she’s kept you trapped, out of your control, time can take a heavy toll” SEVEN. YEARS. sagnation for SEVEN YEARS. THIS IS TERRIBlE, Athena sounds so sad...and concerned, from what she’s seen, but just...imagine that, he fought in troy for 10 years, now odys been stuck on this island for almost just as long, and before that he had EVERYTHING ELSE happen to him, feeling powerless against outside forces for YEARS, it weights down in him, all he can do is internalize it, because there is no monster he can fight, but himself. and...we can hear the danger motif in the choir.....because...he’s become a danger to himself....

the soundscape shifts again, we go back into a memory, its raining and windy, at the beach

“Odysseus?”, she geninuely sounds concerened, what could make her concerned i wonder....

“All I hear are screams”,...he...he’s broken, a callback to the underworld, he sounds defeated, hopeless, dissociative

“Ody”...Ody......you dare call him ody? you may have known each other for seven years but you DID NOT treat him right, you have no RIGHT to call him that, the last person who called him Ody was Eurylochus before he signed their doom.

“Get away from the ledge”....hes.....on his last rope, its been seven years since he sacrificed his last crew, ten years since he lost polites, eight since he lost most of his crew, twenty years since he last saw his family, she wants to keep him at the island for eternity, he cant leave, theres no way out, so now he’s here, on the cliffs edge staring out into the deepths below, knowing that Poseidon is still out to get him, but behind him is a Goddess that made him suffer just as bad, if not worse, rly is there any way to escape?

“You don′t know what I’ve gone through, You don′t know what I’ve sacrificed, every comrade I long knew, every friend, I saw them die”, its been more than seven years, and they still haunt his every waking and sleeping hour. he sacrificed everything to get back home, and yet it was not enough, now hes stuck here, and all sacrfices were for nothing, and he has nothing to distract him, when the goddess doesnt want his attention, he just....sits at the beach replaying their deaths over and over in his mind. [One translation of the scenes in Homers Odyseey: She found him sitting on the shore, his eyes as ever wet with tears, life’s sweetness ebbing from him in longing for his home, since the Nymph no longer pleased him. He was forced to sleep with her in the hollow cave at night, as she wished though he did not, but by day he sat among rocks or sand, tormenting himself with tears, groans and anguish, gazing with wet eyes at the restless sea] just....for SEVEN years? good gods, homer really said “how much trauma can we fit into this one man”

“And all I hear are screams” .....and all he hears are their screams

“(It will be fine dear)”, it wont, fuck off, not as long as you keep him trapped

“Come back inside, dear” ..............i...come back inside? to do what? remind him that hes stuck with you? force him to-............my rage is endless.

“Love of my life, come back to paradise” HE DOESNT LOVE YOU; STOP CALLING HIM THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE, THIS IS STILL NOT PARADISE; DONT::::TRY TO ....BEWITCH HIM, YOU SELFISH BIch

“Let me close my eyes”, hes...so....sooo..so tired. he just wants to close his eyes..and..not open them anymore, doesnt he? He sang to the infant “to close your eyes to spare yourself the view”, he wants to do the same, hes so so tired.....

“I know your life′s been hard”, you have no idea

“I’ll stay inside your heart”,....did you just......did...you really just......use the words his mother said to him in the underworld? ...............

“All I hear are screams!” hes having flashbacks, the ghosts of his past keep haunting him, and shes making it so, so mcuh worse

“(I love you my dear) I love our time here

Life would be so much worse If you had died” YOUR LIFE, the worst part is, she doesnt say this because Ody deserves better, she says this because if he was gone, she would be alone again, and she just wants to have him, own him, have him be hers

“(Just let me close my eyes)”, she doesnt...let him close his eyes, he spents the nights in her bed against his will, and the days, crying at the beach, and when he sleeps he must be haunted by nightmares......theres no rest ever really.

“Please stay from away from harm, Stay in my open arms.......................she..just....made it so so much worse, ALSO JORGE; JORGE WHEN I CATCH YOU JORGE HOW DARE YOU HOW DARE YOU SLAP OPEN ARMS AT US AGAIN WILL POLITES NEVER STOP HAUNTING THE NARRATIVE, Calyspo rly threw “Ody”, “stay inside your heart” and “open arms” at him consecutively, while he was already deep down the trenches.and now......

“(All I hear are-)” what he hears is....

“This life is amazing when you greet it with open arms, Whatever we face, we’ll be fine if we′re leading from the heart, No matter the place, we can light up the world here′s how to start Greet the world with open arms, greet the world with open”

Polites, all his opens, and promises, and he cant live up to it, he tried, he tries so HARD to greet the world with open arms, but he cant, but ruthlessness did not help him either, he misses polites, he was the last person he had at sea who TRULY cared for him, hes having a flashback, PTSD so badly as he is standing at the edge of the cliff, i can just see him falling to his knees, crying and then...

“How much longer till your luck runs out? How much longer till the show goes south? How much longer till we all fall down?”, he hears eurys warning, how much longer till his liuck runs out? his luck has run out, for years now, and hes still stuck, everything has turned bad, the show went south, they all fell down and yet.....

“Waiting..waaiting” his mom....said shed stay inside his heart, he took too long, its been twenty years since he left home, how many other people are waiting for him while is stuck on the island? all these voices are just...inside his head all the time and cant shake them off.

“ooohooooh...ohhh” THE VOCAL PERFORMANCE JORGE- JORGE-... hes just screaming, trying to drown out the voices in his head as he’s breaking down....he wants to let go, he cant let go, he needs to get back home, his family is in danger, theres no one who could help him, the only one, who might have been able to do something, his ally, left him ten years ago, when he defied her, but she is a goddess, if she has any mercy left...maybe...jsut maybe...she could help him...but she wouldnt really listen to him would she? how often has he prayed to her in those years? or has he refused to call out for her in fear of facing more rejection? but...he cant do this any longer, this is ...the very last thing he can do....and so he calls out for her.

“Athena!”, praying that what has been broken can be amended. at least with her.

“He needs my help” and his cry gets heard......athena voice breaks, when she sees how far her friend has fallen.

.....and she decides to do something about it

Oh boyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, I was worried about this song, how Jorge would choose to tackle the whole situation with calypso, while sticking to his “sfw” rule, AND I DID NOT GET DISAPPOINTeD QUITe on the cONtrary IM OBSSESED WITH IT

also the way polites is in one ear, Eury in the other and his mother all around him? the two sides that Ody had back then, polites more positive, and eury as more devil and both are gone and then his mother is just ALL AROUND HIM

typing this up took a couple of days, but if you will excuse me, imma go cry in a corner now

[lostfracturess]

omg nici i just read s&c and wanted to share my thoughtss w you <33

i freaking loved reader’s lil mental breakdown er i guess intrusive thoughts at the beginning during the aneurysm surgery, it was so realistic for the thought process as someone kind of derailing and when she came to the realization that she might be just as much of an adrenaline addict as satoru is i was GAGGED…like satoru really is getting inside her head (and i was doubly gagged when i realized SHE was literally inside someone ELSE’s head mid surgery) and idk if that was meant to be intentional or not but idc good grief you’re a genius nici i can’t praise you for it ENOUGH

Yet, with each precise maneuver, the thrill intensified. There was a sick satisfaction in holding that much power, in the knowledge that one wrong move and this fragile existence could be snuffed out in an instant.

i also LOVED this part so so so much. it’s no secret that surgeons are often to most egotistic n narcissistic people out there, and the way you describe it here, of a person having the control over a person’s life and how instead of frightening, sometimes that’s exhilarating in a self affirming way…love it. and then when you said too bad it wasn’t enough of a thrill for satoru…GAGGED AGAIN. but it’s curious too how you also mentioned he has no control over his own life, despite having so much control over others as his profession as a surgeon. i’m just— god ALL the parallels within such a short amount of time i am so fucking BLESSEDDD

AHHHH i had it spoiled in an ask you answered that suguru had feelings for reader and omg 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 ok i love s&c gojo but im SORRYYYY NICIIII I JUST THINK S&C SUGURU IS THE MAN FOR MEEE 😫😫 my heart really broke for reader though, where she was so close to helping someone she loves but suguru got in the way of it all. but i also understand suguru, bc he’s known gojo so long, i wonder if he just thinks gojo is beyond help at this point

There were other battles to save your strength for. And the battlefield of Satoru's furrowed brow and those piercing blue eyes that bore into you was a battlefield that already took all your strength.

im gonna CRYYY also omg if gojo knew about her fathers death day n thats why he wanted to push it back…i will be so soft aaa. WHY IS HE ALSO THE PERFECT MAN i cant i mean i guess he’s not PERFECT perfect but idc i can fix him i swear xD no but seriously having two hot doctor men lookin out for meeee 🤞🏼😫 reader failing those classes is also such a mood LOL. reader’s panic attack was also so well written omg.

Hypocritical, maybe, after your breakdown, but you didn't want his protection, not in this way. You wanted to fight your own battles, for better or worse. Stubborn pride — a desperate denial of how the grief, the unrelenting struggle, chipped away at you.

i LOOOOVE reader’s personality so fucking muchhh. she always stands up for herself even after pitfalls and shortcomings n i love that it’s not a delusional confidence but a self aware one.

"I know," he said, burying his face against his shoulder for a moment. "Just because we can't be together...It doesn't mean I've stopped loving you."

im gonna CRYYYYYYYY why dont u just RIP MY FUCKIN HEART OUT INSTEAD i physically felt this in my chest. omg their conversation here was so aghshdhdjd the ANGST. reader saying she didnt deserve what satoru did to her broke me. but i also love how sorta soft soken this convo is? no yelling at one another, or screaming, or insults that cut deep bc they know eachothers insecurities. its just so in contrast to what we saw w them in the last chapter and i think it’s nice they have this range of communication but also it shows just how exhausted the two of them are because of all the failed history btwn them ahhhhhh. also i cackled so hard when gojo said i love u but reader said i hate u pls xD they are so iconic

omg maki is a real one frrr she is a NO BULLSHITTER 🤞🏼🤞🏼i loved the convo reader had w her friends!! and the line ab the heart holding onto hope even when it’s not the most rational was so raw n real. i’m glad reader at least has different perspectives

i freaking love the science jargon so damn much omg 🙏🏼😫 i have forgotten absolutely everything from my degree but it slowly comes back to me when i read s&c and that makes me so excited. i swear when im a doctor someday imma come back n read s&c and be like gat dayum nici really did her damn research!! xD no but just in general i think the glioblastoma research is really interesting bc its such a challenging cancer to target and has such high mortality rate, BUT ALSO the thing they’re talking ab with the t-cells to create a fake immune response to attack the tumor cells (im assuming thats what theyre talking ab lol) is so cool and i think thats the basis of immunotherapy which actually has really promising clinical trials going on rn for cancer treatment which is so super excitinf!! would i sound lame if i asked you for the papers you looked through for this chapter xD ALSO BLOOD BRAIN BARRIER MENTIONED LETS GOOO genuinely one of the coolest fuckin things in biochemistry PLS AND THE CYTOKINE STORM NIKI PLEEASEEEE NEVER STOP W THE MEDICAL JARGON IN S&C IF THE MEDICAL JARGON HAS NO FANS IM DEAD its genuinely so interesting i get to learn ab breakthrough oncology research AND i get to fuck my fave?!! 😫🙏🏼 god bless u fr

edit: PLS YOU GAVE THE DOI BAHAHA also sorry i just saw u said not to interact w the science material LOL my bad i am just so excited rn i miss studying so bad

side note i love when ur satoru goes “ha?” like he’s so sexy for that and it’s so incharacter for him PLSLDFJH also damn he called us stupid woman AND reckless idiot in one chapter ✋🏼😔 like ok damn im dumb what about it?!?!????!??🤨🤨awwiie stopp im so soft for gojo rn he’s like practically cradling her to sleeeppp 😭😭😭 also PLSSS reader sleepily chanting the research is so real bahha like when u pull an allnighter for an exam n only have like a couple hours to sleep

nooooo omg reader visiting his grave is so sad :( and the fact she never even got to say GOODBYE…..im so sad. i love the underlying theme of grief in this chapter and also ADORE the depth you’ve given to reader sm. coming back here after reading the author’s note—PLSSS do not hesitate or worry to ass depth to the reader’s character!! i get the same way in my writinf where im like oh its an x reader no one cares to read ab the reader’s backstory but no it adds sm more to the story and only strengthens the narrative as well as the romance n connections within the story!! like bae if u want me to have a traumatic past then i’m here for it xD

omg the interaction w readers mom was going so well n cure n then i audibly gasped when she switched from sweet faced to rude at the mention of the research. its so sad how her mother is in denial, but i love how theres a contrast in the different ways that people grieve in a family. “i know she lost her husband, but i lost my father. i was grieving too.” AHHHH this is so painfully good, i love it <33 i really do love how reader chose herself in the end. learning to care for someone that is grieving i think can turn into codependency really fast, and i admire she took a step towards her career rather than staying back in a place that wasn’t healthy for her. but obv i feel for the mom too, it mustve been really hard to be left alone like that. i hope she can work her relationship out w her mom :””) i love everything satoru is saying to her rn, he’s so incredibly emotionally mature, and i really understand why reader believes in him n wants him to be better. he’s a great man that just needs a little bit of saving 😭❤️

OH MY GOSHHHHHHHHH the scene w satoru’s ROMANTIC SOLILOQUYYY my fucking heart he is so bridgerton man coded 🙏🏼😭 like the part where he talks about hsi HEART and his SOUL like DAMn thats on par w anthony’s speech to kate YOU ARE THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE AND THE OBJECT OF ALL MY DESIRESSS 😫😫🤞🏼🤞🏼 i need this man so bad omg shonda rhimes NEEEDSS to adapt s&c pls i’ll pay from my own pocket xD also reader randomly coming up w a breakthru for her research while she’s gettin the most romantic speech or her life is so fuckin funny n she’s so real for that AHAHAH and the futon bit was sooo cute

ALSO ALSO ALSO

I FREAKING LOVE THIS PART i love a little age gap romanceee n this was soooo hehehehe 🥴🤭 like yesss bb do declare how you have more wisdom on meeee now pls fuck me 🤞🏼😫

ughh the way he’s so domestic w reader’s mom is giving HUSBAND VIBESSS LIKE HELLOOOO THAT’s ur MOTHER IN LAW RIGHT THERE. also aw he convinced her mom to try therapy?? i fucking cant 😭 he is just 10/10 man in this chapter i want to sobbb when is it my turrnnn i want to marry him so bad

HELPDKDJHDHD WAI TWHAT HE ASKED FOR HER HAND IN MARRIAGE IM THAT CAME OUTTA NOWHERE LOL THE WHIPLASH I JUSt EXPERIENCED ICANT HAHAHA

wow i loved this chapter!! so much happened and it was all just S tier writing, S tier dialogue, S tier everything. i loooved the constructive conversations in this one, w reader’s friends, and w suguru, and w the mom, just soooo much about all the characters relationships w one another revealed in such subtle n powerful ways. HONESTLYYY i think this is my FAVORITE chapter of s&c so far, so marvelous :””) thank you SO much nici for all your hard work n care n effort you put into this story, you’re such a queen. much love from me ❤️

okay first, sorry for the late response, but i wanted to have enough time to reply to your message with the same amount and detail that u spend to send me this incredibly sweet message bc u deserve it !! you know, u have no idea how happy this makes me :'')) (but like as a writer yourself, you know the feeling when your heart is basically exploding we you see others obsess over small details in your writing like yourself, right ?? it's really the best feeling ever) <33

when she came to the realization that she might be just as much of an adrenaline addict as satoru is i was GAGGED…like satoru really is getting inside her head

yees, she slowly loses her own mind hahaa. and i wanted to show it there a little bit, that she slowly comes to the realization, that her motives why she does this medical thing might not be as altruistic as she thought and maybe she is just a little bit more like satoru than she wants to admit, oh myyyy hehe.

it’s no secret that surgeons are often to most egotistic n narcissistic people out there, and the way you describe it here, of a person having the control over a person’s life and how instead of frightening, sometimes that’s exhilarating in a self affirming way…love it.

think it's kind of unrealistic to say they just do it because they're altruistic, and i think it also has something to do with canon satoru, like he enjoys the thrill of combat and so does s&c satoru with like the thrill of surgery (and s&c reader too).

and then when you said too bad it wasn’t enough of a thrill for satoru…GAGGED AGAIN. but it’s curious too how you also mentioned he has no control over his own life, despite having so much control over others as his profession as a surgeon.

yeesss !! loved that part too <33 i think that's also why he clings to his surgeries and addiction so much, bc it gives him some illusion of control even tho it's like the exact opposite.

ok i love s&c gojo but im SORRYYYY NICIIII I JUST THINK S&C SUGURU IS THE MAN FOR MEEE 😫😫

ellie, stay strong for our blue eye princess !!! don't let yourself get distracted !!! ahhhhh !!!

my heart really broke for reader though, where she was so close to helping someone she loves but suguru got in the way of it all.

yes, it must have felt like the biggest betrayal. like, of course suguru had only good intentions but when u fight so long for someone to finally trust you, for him to accept your help and then it gets snuffed out in an instant ?? must feel devastating.

but i also understand suguru, bc he’s known gojo so long, i wonder if he just thinks gojo is beyond help at this point

yes, he does think that.

i LOOOOVE reader’s personality so fucking muchhh. she always stands up for herself even after pitfalls and shortcomings n i love that it’s not a delusional confidence but a self aware one.

ahhh, that makes me so happy !! i never know how readers react to it, and if it makes sense to others, so i'm SO GLAD that you understand what i wanted to transpire with her personality :'')) <33

omg their conversation here was so aghshdhdjd the ANGST. reader saying she didnt deserve what satoru did to her broke me. but i also love how sorta soft soken this convo is? no yelling at one another, or screaming, or insults that cut deep bc they know eachothers insecurities.

i LOVED writing this conversation !!! like it's so vulnerable it had me clutching my heart while writing ngl. reader understands him so deeply that she is so soft with him, despite her anger that is still very prominent there, but she swallows that anger to not force him to apologize to her or hurt him even more.

like she has every right to do so, and still chooses different. but then again, the anger is still there and she needs to say it one time, that she is indeed hurt and that it was indeed unfair of him.

but also it shows just how exhausted the two of them are because of all the failed history btwn them ahhhhhh.

yeeess, they are so exhausted at this point, it breaks my heart (i'm the author i know, this is my doing lol).

i freaking love the science jargon so damn much omg 🙏🏼😫 i have forgotten absolutely everything from my degree but it slowly comes back to me when i read s&c and that makes me so excited. i swear when im a doctor someday imma come back n read s&c and be like gat dayum nici really did her damn research!! xD

oh god ellie, you know more about this than i do, so please don't dwell too much on the medical details here because i'm 100% sure they don't make any sense ahahhah.

would i sound lame if i asked you for the papers you looked through for this chapter xD

noooooo, we love a curious mind ahhhh !!! but yeah, i wrote the DOI of the paper in the chapter notes hehe <33

ts genuinely so interesting i get to learn ab breakthrough oncology research AND i get to fuck my fave?!!

BEST OF BOTH WORLDS <33

side note i love when ur satoru goes “ha?” like he’s so sexy for that and it’s so incharacter for him PLSLDFJH also damn he called us stupid woman AND reckless idiot in one chapter ✋🏼😔

i can imagine him so vividly like that !! with his dumbfounded face, mouth hanging open, then he slowly raises an eyebrow and be like haaaa ???? and in his mind he is already undressing and fucking you rough lol.

i love the underlying theme of grief in this chapter and also ADORE the depth you’ve given to reader sm.

so happy to read this :'')) <33

PLSSS do not hesitate or worry to ass depth to the reader’s character!! i get the same way in my writinf where im like oh its an x reader no one cares to read ab the reader’s backstory but no it adds sm more to the story and only strengthens the narrative as well as the romance n connections within the story!! like bae if u want me to have a traumatic past then i’m here for it xD

ohhh and i'm happy to read we're on the same page with this !!

i love everything satoru is saying to her rn, he’s so incredibly emotionally mature, and i really understand why reader believes in him n wants him to be better. he’s a great man that just needs a little bit of saving 😭❤️

yeess, he's such a GREEN FLAG, he just a bit stupid and insane and an addict, but i mean ??? how can u not love him when he says things like that ??? ahhhh

OH MY GOSHHHHHHHHH the scene w satoru’s ROMANTIC SOLILOQUYYY my fucking heart he is so bridgerton man coded

this was his big ass bridgerton moment yeess hahaha. we love a man pathetically in love with his woman <<3333

also reader randomly coming up w a breakthru for her research while she’s gettin the most romantic speech or her life is so fuckin funny n she’s so real for that AHAHAH and the futon bit was sooo cute

priorities i mean ??? satoru can wait ahahha

I FREAKING LOVE THIS PART i love a little age gap romanceee n this was soooo hehehehe 🥴🤭 like yesss bb do declare how you have more wisdom on meeee now pls fuck me 🤞🏼😫

same girl, same !!! like, yes please tell me how the world works, bc i'm too stupid for it, but beware if you ever mansplain anything to me i'll kill u (and now choke me pls). <33

wow i loved this chapter!! so much happened and it was all just S tier writing, S tier dialogue, S tier everything.

ahhhhhh !! thank you so so much again for sharing your thoughts and emotions while reading the chapter, your insightful analysis mean so much to me :'')) i hope u find money on the pavement this week, i'm manifesting this for u !! <3 love you !!

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

hi miss L, i have a spiritual/religious question and i don't know anyone else who could answer it.... since i was a kid i've been attracted to tarot, spirituality, mystical explanations of the worlds workings, astrology, all that good stuff. i never used to connect my spirituality to a single higher power, and i never had any issues with this. for a few years i've been wanting more than just a disturbingly accurate tarot spread and i feel compelled towards god. i'm not sure how to word it honestly! i keep getting messages all around me telling me the saint that watches over me, and that god is there too. so here's my issue.

whenever i reach out and pray or do any kind of ritual or reach out specifically to god or a saint, my life immediately starts going haywire. yesterday i set up a small shrine in my room for my dead kitty since i've been feeling better about her passing and i prayed a little. i asked for sign that i was going in the right direction, and hours after i prayed, our sink plumbing got clogged, my cat (living) ran out and had to be caught, my mom dropped a whole bowl of food, and i wasn't able to pick up groceries bc the bank cards wouldnt work. this never happens in my household, we've been joking that we're cursed. this happens everytime i try to reach out to god. the worst time was when my mom lost her job, dad crashed his car, and i kept having panic attacks out of the blue for a week. i freaked out and took everything i said back and bathed in salt water for hours hoping i could cleanse whatever happened to me. it worked and my life was back to normal the next day.

do you have any advice? i would love to put my trust in a higher power as i've never been religious before, but smthn is going wrong somehow.

thank you for reading, i love seeing you on the dash and your music is so soothing and nostalgic. much love!! <3 <3 <3 <3

so sweet, and caring, thankyou u//u...im sorry things have been difficult :< The following message does not in any way endorse the claim that i understand God, that God could ever be understood, or that any one of us should every try to understand the -inner workings- of God ! purely my feelings v v v

i relate to ur background cus i grew up w no religion, my parents didnt talk about any kind of woo-woo stuff, my dads dad was woo-woo AF and my dad haaaaated it so he rejected all of it so i was pree much just a blank slate. but for some reason i was just REALLY obsessed w magical thinking and the like. believed in god spirits nature deities angels demons magic aliens and i was totaly engrossed in ~my secret world~. i was kinda scared of religion tho i viewed it in a bad light since i was learning about it during the george bush post-9/11 era & for some reason my child self was rly interested in consuming critique of america , iraq war / westboro baptist church type stuff , from an outsider's perspective i saw religion as something american people used as justification for committing atrocities & crazy power trips , which, i mean.. anyways

it didnt help me trust God xD but many of my beliefs remained into my teens i just didnt have any outlet for them. so i got into astrology around 15/16, started learning more about tarot & occultish type things, crytstals, all those subjects intrigued me very much. but i felt the same way as you, like, something was still lacking from it, even when i got these super profound tarot readings, or read my birth chart a million times over looking for clues about ~wtf is this stupid life for~ , i never felt safe. never felt assured, never felt i could trust myself or my future. it was an odd period, early 20s. but then kinda same as u, as my knowledge on these topics expanded i started to notice the quality of Holiness a lot more. the more i learned about different religions the more i realized how connected it all was, and how religion connects to "the occult", and magic, light and dark, i find it very hard to put into words. i just started to find myself actually really earnestly believing in God in a way i never thought i could? Like reading the bible & being completely enthralled, i NEVER woulda thought. i started to feel way safer in the world even tho im still not "christian" technicaly. but i believe in jesus now and it makes me feel safe on a cellular level.

i believe the real jesus was wholly non judgemental and loved everyone no matter what, the thing that susses me out about Religious Institutions was always the judgement that can spawn from it. misses the point of everrything in my opinion.

its kinda wild actually cus when i used to be into like, trash reality tv ghost hunting shows, i remember there was one ep where this psychic was talking about how she always prays to jesus for protection before doing a reading or entering a haunted place. that really intrigued me cus i thought jesus and psychic automatically cancelled each other out. i think that moment rly opened up the rabbitehole and it was so mundane like wtf. still rememebr it tho!

sorry im really in a typing mood tonight.. So my next point was gonna be that, just because i started to really believe in god and jesus and really PRAY for protection & guidance, my life did not get easier xD like i would say the past 6 years have been nothing short of a shit show. my life was fucked before that too tho so its hard to compare, but still, its safe to say my shift in perspective actually brought a lot of chaos into mylife. the point of it, i feel, is that i had to dismantle it in order to truly Live in the frequency of trusting God. because this was new to me! i wanted to trust God, i put out the energy of seeking God, and God was like ok hold on tight..

So now i'm here all these years later like, oh yeah God is real and i love him and it's all real. it's CEMENTED into me lol. When i used to say i trust God it still felt like i was asking permission to be able to feel that way. but now i really really do. And messed up stuff will keep happening forever because there needs to be light & dark, there can't b one without the other. But now i have faith in a really personal way that i wld never attempt to transfer onto another like even by talking about these experiences & concepts i still feel like i don't want to prove anything. except that it's worth it to keep trying, i guess :]

and OK this is really just how i feel like take it with a grain of salt , but from what i've gathered, if you believe in energy entities & astral happenings & whatnot, well. it's my opinion that the invisible low frequency parasites that feed on many ppl's dread & fear, when they're attached to u and u begin to raise your vibration, they get very upset and throw a fit. like think of a demon being exorcised, u know, u imagine it having a total fit in a desperate fight for it's life. if ur appeasing the demon and letting it use you then of course it's going to keep things on an even keel, u kno?

taking a salt bath was a good thing to do tho like one of the best things <3 its also good to have crosses or your holy item of choice around the house, light white candles, organize clutter. pray a lot like every time u feel happy and safe or notice something beautiful say thanku to God.. talk to your angels and encourage them i pray a lot specifically to strengthen them, upgrade their armor n shih...i ask them to work for my loved ones, i try to be concentrated on them, visualize them around me all the time, visualize them standing guard outside every door. i feel this kinda stuff increases ur Holy EXP and over time your spiritual armor gets stronger, bad entities move on and things in life start really flow. the trust just has to b there first, and it will be, so long as u allow it <3

it just takes time, and like i said i dont want to prove anything or be The Convincer, but if u were already having feelings to go down this path i recommend not giving up and let God carry u through those tough situations instead of seeing them as an absence of God or God's Wrath. just keep praying cus it can't hurt right, even if it's just a way to occupy your mind with kind thoughts about your friends and family, there's no downside to prayer. its your own journey so u just gotta live it and feel it out ^^ but pls dont feel u are being punished by God or demons or anything else! So many "bad" things that happen end up being neutral or even "good" in the long run. We can never foresee the reasoning behind God's plan ~~~

yeah, this was a long one, wow...i drank a energy drink 12 hours ago i think it made me hyper.. well have a swell evening if ur reading this anon!! o also i liek to listen to psalms before bed to help me feel calm i feel like it helps bring in angels. i think i will do so now, thanks for the Q i hope things improve for u very soon. Good night anon < 3 3 3 PMD 9