#if u dont know what movie im talking about i am not telling you bc u will call me insane. u will say. but meer. they barely talked

[meerlichtz]

Oh rarepair hell, we’re really in it now

[strab3rr]

ive been thinking abt a week? to delete my account or my story but u know what idgaf anymore because its just gonna give those people more courage for accusing me of being a liar

oh u dont know what im talking bout rn how cute

I was in the hospital til 2 days ago. as a patient. and i believe this happened bc of some jealousy bitches (or im just bein a drama queen)

ik it sounds like im blaming someone but irl yes i do blame someone

in dog years i blame those bitches

last week? i dont even remember what the day

mom got sick again but its okay shes fine now and then i had a car crash🪩🤩🪩my phone died in the crash literally died i had to buy a new one do you guys have any idea abt how much are this things in my country i really dont care abt the money but be for real wtf actually

i answered all of your questions carefully and with kindness i tried to be there for you guys and the moment i tell you abt my success story i had an accident! um sir wtf am i really being dramatic rn? cause ive been thinking bout this for days and theres no other explanation even if there is i cant see

so here it goes,,, i was just chilling in my home and then i read a dm about a girl that she wants to get in her void and as always i explained how she can get in but she kept ask me about how to get in but like girl hellooo i literally told you how. r u kidding me is this a social experiment to evaluate my patience? and then i said to her that this is the only thing that she should do for getting into

she said, no you are lying it cant be like this! bla bla

i transformed to this cat at that moment this is real me now.

anyway at the end of that conversation she said that im lying, if any of these(my manifestation results) are true then i should show her bc she have "doubts🎀" aww for her doubts i should reveal my self in her home bc she have doubts🎀 i should transport there with my void and show her how to do it irl thats what she asked me no- thats what she commanded me to, she was like "do it" and i was like "what😃" i said no ofc what do u want me to say, ok lets do itt lets break my privacy togetherrr let me get in your void for you and again let me do make your dreams comes true yayyy itll be fun right😍😍😍

i dont even know what to say to that

maybe this?

u think im joking which ur right bc i am

but its kinda serious here buddy what should i say to you when u command me to get in your void for you, like how can i reject you and still be that kind sister for u?

anyway i said no to her and she said im a lair and i broke her heart with my selfishness(then i blocked her ofc)then i go out w my friends this is the part i got hit by a car😇

opened my eyes into the white light like im a mf drama movie character

while im in the hospital i thought i can delete my account and can get rid of this bad luck/shits once and for all but again its just gonna give those bitches courage and they think that they right

"loa is a cult and everyone is a liar bc they cant prove bla bla" dont u dare to blame me for your failure

you didn't got in AND you want me to do it for you???honey im sorry for your loss bc it seems like you just lost your dignity yeah we just buried it u missed such a precious moment🥲

and guess what i have nothing to prove you i literally dont have to prove anything to you. like for real. if you dont believe the story can u just move on please? bc i dont give a damn shit about your insecurities, your doubts and ur blablabla

its literally on you girl BC IT SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR MF REALITY? LIKE DO YOU REALLY NEED A MANUAL BOOK FOR THIS?

im sorry for being a bitter today but i really feel like this(bitter), so not sorry maybe😗

but i didn't mean it when i said idgaf to ur insecurities.. i do honey its just been a rough week and i dont know how to put my anger in to the words

it can be a evil eye 🧿 or i just might be a drama queen sooo.. again sorry(?) if anything offends u, i love you guys but its just so complicated here(my head) and i just dont know

and now im just being weird w all this nonsense

i should go now, i will return your dms asap just need some rest

loves, siena

[yuukei-yikes]

Hey vinnie! Really love your comics! I was wondering, what's your process when it comes to drawing them? Do you come up with dialogue first or draw the figures and piece together the dialogue, and how do you go about doing layouts?

this ask reminded me i have a whole ass "process vid" of THIS COMIC from over a year ago where u can see exactly what i do to plan that comic lol this is embarrassing i never thought id share it so do NOT be mean

i was curious myself how it looked which is why i made it heh this is 50 min of footage in almost 2 mins and idk why my superhero movie is the song of choice this is from a while ago OK... u can see i literally have no idea what im doing i just DOODLE i just go for it

i talk some more under the cut i <3 art but i am a serial doodler

i use the power of imagination a whole lot bc i have a pretty busy life so when i get an idea im like working it out in my mind as i live my normal ass life. when i actually do sit down to make it, first i sketch it all and will usually write certain bits in each "page"

its pretty similar. but as u can see i tend to skip some dialogues that im like. meh ill figure it out later. i just write what i know i wanted to add. and then i figure out the rest when i get to it, or i even change up what i already got, which results in it not being super planned. for example here i made ayano repeat "this is something..." in both her dialogues and i didnt realize until i finished and read the whole thing over but i was lazy to change it heh... but that was bc i write as i go and u can tell in mistakes like that.

as for layouts... erm i barely make actual layouts. this is kind of the same process for everything LOL except sometimes i feel like making actual boxes to put the characters in, but otherwise u can see that the majority of my comics are just all over the place like this. during the sketch i do separate it but then i try to divide it with only the speach bubbles. the layout where i put little boxes is when i dont mind making many pages, bc it fits less stuff.

otherwose i tend to do stuff like this:

which looks a lot more crowded. the reason is, i post here and on twitter (more amphibia on twitter) and since u have a limited amount of pics u can post (here in tumblr it used to be 10 pics), i wanted to fit as much as possible in only 1 page so it wouldnt be too many pics, and it morphed into this sort of layout that i became used to.

im a Go For It kinda guy when it comes to drawing. i like doodling and sketching and going with whatever i got first. the only reason i dont start the comic right away and even do the sketching first is bc i want to figure out where ill put everything, not so much bc im worried abt the art looking better in one or the other. as u can see the art is very similar in both cases

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

hiiii mackerellll my brains also bad soup rn soup brain solidarity BUT nhw.... winters family torment nexus..... i did have a question for u actually. currently wading around in the tranches (early game nhw) n i wanna write them doing silly like teen traumatized child soldier shit like playing truth or dare or shit like that... what do u think their two truths & a lie would b? also like. do u have any thoughts on their civilian life. when they are Not on the job or fighting extinction level threats or having panic attacks at school. u know. that 10% <333

ALSO. NHW WAVELENGTH..... do u have any thoughts on him. my only secret backstory caveat is that he has to have the fucking worst shit nightmare rube goldberg machine luck of all time. third & final question im just curious was danny phantom vivisection real & canon or just like a Thing??????

ok im going to start with the danny phantom question bc im dyinggg to talk about this. pun intended. also this is my equivalent of rent-lowering gunshots. if u cannot deal with my dp posting u do not deserve my pd posting etc etc etc !!!

THE ANSWER IS. BOTH YES AND NO. it never Actually Happens but it is talked about!!!!!!! the whole thing is like. dannys parents are ghost hunters and dont know about his powers so theres a lot of him like. overhearing talking about them dissecting ghosts and experimenting on ghosts and such. not knowing that he is one!!! prime territory for somes angsty ass fics. however i am of the small minority that doesnt actually think the fentons are monsters apparently. they dont know!! how could they know!!!!! theyre scientists!!! do you know how much scientists casually talk about dissecting things!! its a lot!!! also theres been a few different instances of them finding out about dannys powers (almost always retconned by time/memory shenanigans but its fine) and EVERY TIME THEYRE SO SUPPORTIVE OF HIM. AND THEY TELL HIM THEY LOVE HIM REGARDLESS. AND IN ONE CASE THEY EVEN APOLOGIZE FOR SAYING THOSE THINGS AROUND HIM BC THEY DIDNT KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anyway. anyway. i digress bc i love the fentons. anyway! there are so many. SO MANY fucking fanfictions out there of danny getting dissected/vivisected. so many in fact that its one of the things the fandom is best known for by outsiders. enough that there was literally a FANDOM-WIDE DEBATE about whether to call it dissection or vivisection because dannys status as alive/dead is so unclear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lmao!!!!!!!!! worlds most fucked up fanbase i love it here

putting the nhw stuff under a cut. subjecting my followers to my dp ramble bc fuck you!!!!!! read about my ghost boy first

OK I AM SOOOO FUCKING BAD AT TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE. IM SO BAD AT IT I CAN NEVER THINK OF ANYTHING. so instead i am just going to think of fun facts about them. so actually im gonna kill two birds wiht one stone here and answer both of ur questions abt them. here we go !!!

i think it would be REALLY funny if william is the only one with a drivers license bc he grew up in Not The City (just because he has a license doesnt mean hes GOOD). dakota is lactose intolerant but chooses to be in stubborn denial about it (he canonically doesnt like ice cream!). virion, despite being compared to a cat so often, is allergic to cats. speaking of animals, william likes animals but animals DO NOT like him!! on the other hand animals absolutely love dakota he is friends with every stray dog and cat in the whole city. virion was homeschooled by his parents/the greats. virion also doesnt know much about anything in regards to pop culture/general everyday civilian life? because he was never completely removed from the cape world at any time growing up. no non-cape adults in his life. so he and william still have their movie nights where william introduces him to shitty b-movies hehehe. dakota tries to get him into more Normal movies like. disney or ghibli or whatever but virion likes the shitty ones more. ASSIGNING THEM FAVORITE GHIBLI MOVIES WHILE IM AT IT. this is not which ones i think theyre the most like, just the ones i think are their favorties. dakota likes ponyo, william likes howls moving castle, virion likes princess mononoke, ashe likes spirited away . dont ask me why. UHHH FAVORITE PLACES TO HANG OUT OUTSIDE OF THE BASE/HOUSE. dodgeboy memorial library. lightspeed hangs out there and they like her <3. antonios pizza. he lets them loiter bc they always tip really well. william likes going to the park because he has chronic Grew Up In The Woods disease and needs outdoor time or else he'll go crazy. hes not used to city life. dakota likes the park bc there are lots of little animals there and he can Run Around, virion doesnt like the park as much bc its a lot of Vulnerable Open Spaces and those make him nervous. speaking of which in my head ive grown so attached to the idea of him being so hypervigilant at all times. look at him ive given him anxiety!!! just like. the insane betrayal losing every important figure in his life immediately leading into a life basically on the streets alone picking fights with other capes led to . idk man i keep thinking about it like sleeping in shifts but its impossible to do that with only one person!!!!!!!! do u know what i mean!!!! basically translating the "growing up on fauna where everything wants to kill you" energy into this setting. HMMMMMM. I THINK THATS IT. THATS ALL I CAN THINK OF RN . SORRY FOR THE BLOCK OF TEXT

ohhhhhhh god. oh god oh fuck. i literally Have Not Thought about nhw mark yet like AT ALL only bc i know if i do ill get so sick about it. worlds most suffering man ever he is losing everything!!!!!! ok bc im thinking about lizard stuff tonight im going to answer your question with a question. we;ve kind of sort of talked about the existence of harttawa in relation to overlord and cauldron does he still get fucked up lizard mutations!!!!!! ALSO CAN WE TALK ABOUT HIS POWERSET. i have a lot of feelings abt him being at least partially a tinker. i think before u also called him a striker (maybe? am i remembering that right) i dont think i know strikers yet what does that one mean. WHAT WAS HIS TRIGGER EVENT. OR IS HE A CAULDRON CAPE. SHAKING YOU. I KNOW I HAVE MORE QUESTIONS THAN ANSWERS BUT. I NEED 2 GET TO THE WORM SECTION WHERE I GET TO LEARN ABOUT NHW ASHE SO BAD. actually i didnt get to read any worm this weekend so im gonna stay up a Little later just to get past this section where theyrre fighting the dragon suits. ouagh EXCITED.

[thatdeadaquarius]

OP your addtion about the Harbinger's reaction? Sent me wheezing to the moon 🤣🤣💀

I dont have any additions to Teyvat language yet (other anons have a more in depth explanations while mine is just shitposts wheEZE--) but I did have an idea for a Genshin AU.

I'm pretty sure everybody has heard about the blue alien people Avatar. Tribal people from another planet. (Also I just stumbled upon the forests of Sumeru while going through Chasm quests. The one that has giant mushrooms).

Imagine Genshin in the Avatar Au. Sumeru can be based on the first movie (It fits cause from what I can explore of Sumeru reminds me of the time I watched Avatar of the first time. Pure awe and wonder..) While the Water nation can be based on the 2nd movie, Hoyoverse hasnt released the name of the Water Country yet so we're just waiting. Mondstadt can be based on the upcoming 3rd (4th or 5th? Idk they had it lined up) movie that involves being high above the clouds. Kind of like the Jade palace or the Floating Abode in the serenitea pot.

Its all I could base for now since the other movies dont have that much info yet to be paired with Genshin's countries.

Bonus idea that randomnly popped into my head:

Still going with this Au but its sagau themed. Creator!Reader arrives to Teyvat and is considered as Eywa

NOW THIS

THIS IS AN ✨️IDEA✨️

I just want u to know i feel b l e s s e d that u put this in MY ask box , when this coulda been a whole post of ur own 💖💖🙏🙏

WARNING: So i havent seen the new movie, just the og Avatar one, and i totally loved that concept about Eywa and how their world works so ill refresh myself but if theres any new lore from the 2nd movie i aint got it yet 💁 srry babs

🎵 FROM THE DAY WE ARRIVED ON THE PLANEETTT

AND STEPPED OUT BLINKING INTO THE SUN

AND THE SUN ROSE HIGH IN A SAPPHIRE SKY

ITS THE CIRRRRCCCLLLEEE OF LIFFFFEEEE 🎵

^ except ur like the life itself bc ur god now

Thats why i put that there

This AU radiates that energy

♤

BRO I TOTALLY FORGOT ABT U MENTIONIMG THE COOL CHASM STUFF AND PICKED THAT GIF ALL ON MY OWN

BC I THOUGHT IF ANYTHING LOOKS LIKE EYWA TREE IN GENSHIN ITS THAT BEAUTIFUL MUSHROOM GOD

ANYWAYS-

So I accidentally posted this too early so keep refreshing or coming back bc if theres no "♡the beloveds♡" im still updating this then LMAO

SRRY GUYS

So anon's a genius and i could listen to u talk about this all day

I fucking love combining world building or lore together

Esp like making one the AU or just the setting like u said with Avatar worlds as settings and same characters-

EEEEEE U ARE EYWA- YESSSSS YESSSSSS I AM YOUR GOD BITCHES!!! SUCK ON MY BIG FAT MAN TIDDIES BITCHES RAHHHHH /REF

♧

So they deffo use "Eywa" as a term for you instead of your name

Honestly, before when u were a mysterious af planet creature thing (lets say u get isekaied there i mean)

Nobody rlly knew if u even could take a mortal form or even thought of that as a concept

I feel like the younger generations immortals and Teyvat's current countries kinda think of you Eywa as more of a passive entity life force thing

Rather than the older immortals and creatures that had seen thru eons or over the course of a couple thousand years

That u were very aware and intelligent

Not that ur energy or aura didnt tell them that alone

◇

So a little deeper into the Teyvat lore here but i dont see anybody else talking about it so I will

Originally, it was the Seven Sovriegns and you, and eventually Phanes and their Four Shades,

And they literally all quickly came to realize u literally made this planet and began to start the first traditions of worshipping you!

Like putting gifts or hand made goods at the base

(Ppl have also gotten a tradition from Morax/Rex Lapis and Guizhong and other adepti to leave birthday letters to offer you, which ties into what i say below⬇️)

Ya know,

Eywa the tree could even be a sort of source to the eyes of Teyvat of what you look like while u were playing the game

Like how Eywa's little jellyfish reach ppl in the forest and shit? I think?

So like i would imagine that whatever u make certain vessels or acolytes do most often, is what they think they should offer u :0

◇

Claymore users give u gemstones and ores

Bow users give u hunted game like fowl, or the treasure from puzzles that required arrows (like those bursting blue balloons?)

Catalysts and Polearms give u all kinda of crazy shit lmao

Bc they can be used for a vareity of things

◇

Bc of ur player status and abilities, people of Teyvat attribute a gain in power or talents or whatnot to you, Eywa

So say u actually physically there now, and u just wake up under the coolest sickest tree youve ever seen in ur life

Omg could u imagine????

Seeing Teyvat irl? But AVATAR WORLD IRL???!!!

You would stand there lookin around like a drunk fuck for like 20 minutes, maybe longer lmao

Its just so ✨️pretty✨️ here

Also the tree itself just feels like, the equivalent to ur bedroom basically but like specifically if it was hella comfy and like just the way u want it (all the decor is up, the floor is clean, u got like hot choco on ur desk, theres a candle burning, etc.)

♤

Oh so since ur like weirdly connected to the land, like u know how theres a voice line abt walking in that glowing aranara part of Sumeru and ur steps light up?

I saw that too in the OG avatar movie

So i feel like u would have a map with ALLLLL the peoples on it and little icons

U can focus on just vision users or bosses or big nature things like Dragonspine

◇

Oh so Eywa can control all animals and whatnot and so u as a mortal person can too

So anytime theres a threat u can deadass just become a pokemon trainer LMAO

Ok but think how badass it would be to just like,

Get the Primo Geovishap or Giant Bird Jadeplume Terror thingy to just leave their territory and wipeout some mfs

(coughunknowngodasomodaycough)

It would be fucking amazing

♧

Unrelated to above bc im just spitting out ideas srry guys

but like

I feel like if u were a lifeforce sort of ancient eldritch god for the entire goddamn continent of Teyvat let alone the whole planet-

You would have to maintain said continent/planet

Like, make sure the Irminsul is growing okay, protect from mfs like Dottore,

Stop diasters if ur Eywa too, esp bc u can hear prayers now, and would hear ppl crying out to help them geez

while the prayers of the many kinda just glob together to form the major "feeling" of the prayer for most creatures,

Vision users, gods, ancient creatures u can get their exact sentences

Basically more magic = better heard to connect with u

◇

Oh u know, i could even see it being even more manual or personal labor bc ur not like a tree connected to ur roots thruout the world technically

Like if volcanoes erupt in Natlan, the archon and gods there help and u r also wanted/needed in person for it to work

U would still be powerful, but yeah like say the tree was u just playing genshin before,

The game automatically regulated diasters and stuff other than what was supposed to happen in game

◇

So kinda bouncing off that I read smwhere that the Na'vi dont actually view Eywa as like omnipotent or omniscient

(like the God™️ from the Christian bible for a example of what your not)

And also! Dont blame/attribute natural diasters, plagues, or other bad stuff on Eywa

So good for you whew 💦

Ur actually supposed to kinda just be the collective lifeforce or Teyvat/world and nature, and a defender and guide of life :0

Which kinda fits with the whole "upgrading characters" thing actually

◇

Okay but I saw somewhere in SAGAU tag someone did another name instead of Creator to spice it up and its "All-Mother"

And interestingly, Eywa in Avatar is also called that and "Great Mother"!!

How fun :0

Also, the reason Eywa still got people with free-will is bc they kinda described the relationship to Eywa being something like a mother or parent

Maybe where name/titles came from ig?

Either way, ppl be calling u all types of nicknames u aint heard before lmao

I mean ur sacred, they dont just say ur name,

Nobody knows ur real name or what u call yourself

Just what they call u

Bc they couldnt communicate with u super well before, (the bday letters were the closest they got verbally, and even then they had to be addressed somewhat to ur first vessel the traveler to get thru/be seen)

Otherwise yeah u operating them lets say before on Earth you rlly felt like an eldritch nature deity 💀

Cause u guide them in battles, strengthen their talents and skills and bodies, and feed them food

If they were in battle like needing healing food, u help them heal by consuming it for them so they dont have to take a snack break in battle and

Let me tell u, these denizens of Teyvat who have to constantly deal with magic and monsters and abyss stuff, so a stroll outside ur house gets u in a fight...

...They are very grateful for that needless to say.

Plus i like to think u make fighting easier on them bc ur "guiding" their bodies

◇

Anyway thats a long winded way to say, help me think of all the names Teyvat's given you lmao:

Eywa

All-Mother / Great Mother

All-Father / Great Father

All-Parent? / Great Parent

Creator

Their Grace

Great Puppeteer

The Puppeteer

Soul of Teyvat

Greatest Soul

☆

She aint long bc im not that creative and this idea has sm potential too😔

I would love to be Eywa sounds fun and powerful af and i dont get expected to be Jesus and they know i dont cause the natural diasters, like that sounds nice

Aight im no genius and this writing feels like im just rambling like a drunk guy sittin on the sidewalk mumbling to myself, i had to stop writing 💀

Like that energy specifically-

So lmk if yall got any other cool titles or names :0

I couldn't think of anymore :/

Also srry about the updating this post and making u check back in if u already read this before i put the taglist

(Me putting the taglist means im done editing/writing this dw if u seein this)

Cheers,

🌒🌧🌊Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

♡my beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist

[skunkes]

You probably get this asked a lot but do you have any particular things you keep in mind when writing in your journal? I started recently and it's been great but I find that Only recapping my day gets to be a bit tedious (esp when I don't go outside much lol) so I was curious what you do to keep motivated with it ! Ur sticker layouts are always so cutes btw I'm very inspired by them ^_^💖

Yeah! I mainly journal for Memory Keeping as i have a weird obsession with wanting to keep track of anything/everything, so i just think of what future cheye would want to know, instead of just recapping day.

Makes me really sad bc in college all i had energy to write was like "ate x went to class went to mailroom went to class 2 had x for dinner 1 am now goodnight" and its like. What about. The whole rest of it!! What did u do who did you talk to when was it that you saw a raccoon irl for the first time!!! Were you stressing over assignments?? Which and why!!! I have 0 tangible, meaningful, memories of what happened now. Just sterile clinical ones. :(

I do track things consistently like my rating for the day, the time i woke up and the time i go to bed, what i ate, if i cried, along wit other personal stats (i like the numbers!). Sometimes I also dont Do anything in a day so i just focus on other things, like taking the opportunity to write about feelings a little bit, so future cheye Knows the state of mind i was in on a given day, or maybe talk about how I bought something and am excited to wear/use it

Not much happened today so I wrote about and included how my dad described the plot of to, and showed me, some scenes of The Untouchables 1987 today because a song always reminds him of that movie...

yesterday I wrote about how my sister and I are planning on trying some pillsbury cocoa rolls on thursday, since we couldn't today, and that I am Excited.

I don't know, its small things that I feel I'd appreciate in the future even if they seem silly or pointless right now...(and also good for keeping track of personal growth, as Im hoping I at one point get to pinpoint where my complaints about Not Wanting to Drive fade away from the entries. Ykwim?)

ITS KIND OF LIKE THAT ONE POST ON HERE...like "if you see this tag one delight from your day no matter how small". You ""force"" yourself to come up with something to pad the entry with, and I think it's small things like that that will be really telling of your time here, in the future ^_^ time capsule of the old you

like. Did you see something insanely funny? Did your best friend say something weird... Did the internet platforms you browse all rally over a war criminal dying... Is it still rainy and chilly like it was yesterday? Are you excited for your birthday even if its many months away... What series did you start rewatching? Did u get scared by a shadow while walking your dog...idk! Anything, everything

[tojisun]

Sorry it turned into a depressing rant

Anon who asked about your fav studio ghibli movie here!

I love howls moving castle so much, I love the part when Sophie starts cleaning the house, I love how comforting it is

I love the sass from everyone, I love how kind Sophie is

I love howls line “I see no point in living if I can’t be beautiful” as much as it sucks I agree with him. I’m not smart so the only thing I can offer is my looks and personality to people I meet. If I’m not beautiful, then what’s the point? Sorry if it sounds shallow but when you have nothing to offer in this world, the only thing I can work on is how good I look and present myself. I know I shouldn’t think like that, it’s damaging

Beauty IS in the eye of the beholder, there will be people who find you attractive and there will be people who won’t. People you find attractive, others won’t, so sometimes I try not to think too much about it since we never know.

All my life I’ve been slow academically. My siblings are all smarter than me so I’m always the dumb one. I’m not skinny but I’m working on it, even tho it’s so hard, but I have to be skinny, my life will definitely turn around when I’m not too self conscious about my body. I know I’ll still have those negative thoughts and even after I’m skinny I won’t be happy but, as of now, I never leave the house, my anxiety about how I look keeps me from taking in person classes. I never want to leave the house unless I look good, because I don’t want anyone seeing me at my worst, I want everyone to see me as the best version of myself. So I never leave, my social skills have tanked since 2020 since that was the last time I took a in person class, and that was in high school 😭😭

I feel so immature and stupid, and people my age (19) are doing better than me. I just give up before I even try, and I’m so behind since I’m in my third year of college and I still don’t have an official major, I’m so behind, and last semester I didn’t take any classes cuz I was so depressed and embarrassed, since I failed two classes. It’s an horrible cycle of pity and dread and I’m scared I’ll never get rid of it. And I’m scared of talking to men, but I’m supposed to get married and have a kid before I’m 30 since you’re more fertile and it’s better to have kids young, and I’d love that but I’m scared my kids will turn out like me, disappointments. And I won’t know how to fix them.

So yeah… we veered off of howls moving castle.. my bad💀

re:

!! this got long im so sorry

first of: pls dont apologize! u are welcome to vent here in my blog, im happy to just be a bouncing wall to u guys (if my usually long responses arent what u guys wanted to see). thank u for trusting me (us) with this and im truly sorry for how late im responding

i do love those parts of howls moving castle! i never understood why howl was lamenting about his looks when i thought he looked beautiful w orange hair. orange used to be my favourite colour ^v^ it isnt one rn but i am still fond of it.

i loved orange even when howl didnt – u are correct that beauty in the eye of the beholder. beauty also goes a long way. it’s a horrible reality but when u grew up fat, u get told so many times about how much better life would be if u could just lose weight. i truly cant tell u when i stopped thinking so little of myself.

honestly love, its just so recent when i felt good enough in my own skin – blemishes n all. i never thought itd get better tbh; i thought itd stay this way but it got better. and im scared to promise to you a range of when it will get better, but i do know that it will.

u feel immature bc u are still young! 19 is so young so pls dont punish urself for feeling young, for thinking young, for not knowing anything past being young yet. as a younger sibling, ik for a fact im still so immature. it took me getting a job (during the weekdays) n going to uni for me to mature up, n i was 20 when that happened. so recent!

i also completed my associates slowly bc i was struggling in college! i once took a sem where i only had one class bc i was so overwhelmed that i had to slowly pace myself so i can keep going. high school babies u n then boom, u get hit w juggling responsibilities in college that kinda makes u wanna quit – but u didnt. u took a break and then bounced back!! my love, if that isnt resilience, then what is?

ive never wanted to settle down. i think its bc i thought id be gone by now that i just dont see myself having a family of my own so i apologize for not knowing how to empathize about the ‘deadline’ but u are just 19. before age 30 is so far away! u have sm to live for in between those years. sm to experience and to meet and to love!

also, not having a major yet is also fine! i declared a minor just this year – and im a fourth year already. pls dont worry. u have time – that is something i wanna keep emphasizing. u have time. it feels like the world is collapsing rn bc of fear and anxiety which, my old therapist told me, is a sign that u (and i) wanna keep going. that u wanna keep living.

and from what i could see, especially coming from me who wanted to just give it all up, that is enough. i know that the reasons behind u working on urself isnt a sustainable mentality, but hopefully one day u will wake up and own ur hard work for urself. not for others.

aaaa this got too long im so sorry, im being emotional on my end but i just want u to know: u are not a disappointment. u arent.

ur alive and ur making connections and ur trying ur best (even though it doesnt feel like that on ur end but u are!!) so how could u be a disappointment? and even if u dont wanna do anything, ur also not a disappointment. not even then.

ur future kids will be so lucky and happy to have u as their mom. and they too will be beautiful; they wont need any fixing bc there isnt anything broken to fix.

i love you. i dont know who u are but i love you. i love all of you.

[nightsjod]

Since your "Friends" want to check up on this blog instead of you facing up to your own actions of bringing this up and proposals for "discussion" yourself and see i actually did message you PRIVATELY like this should have been. here

you are one of the most self centered emotionally controlling and manipulative friend i have ever had. the fact you keep COUNT of every time youve "helped" me through my "Troubles" and act like i have never once done anything for you is utterly insane behavior. i am EXHAUSTED from it. you wanted to end the friendship and im simply trying to honor that. im not fighting it. there is no point in fighting because i refuse to bend over and allow you to control every fucking thing i do again and you will not give in to see your own behavior EVER.

sorry i didnt want to TRAUMA DUMP on an anon like you so much like to do and try to remain optimistic and positive on my public blog but since you want to air out my own PERSONAL LIFE ON TUMBLR which you are very much in the wrong for doing so, ESPECIALLY using it as a weapon against me, fine. and especially since you want to go into fucking discord servers to claim i was lying about getting help after your messages, and publicly trying to call me a fraud then fine. i will also be public and honest like you want.

i tried to kill myself over this. i sincerely could not take it anymore and i felt like everything fcking shattered because no matter what i did no matter how hard i tried and what i did it was never good enough for you. you could never accept that i had a full time job, i had other friends, i had my own issues THAT DONT INVOLVE YOU and my own ENTIRE life and it was NEVER good enough for you. mad at me because i "dont follow through with plans" like we arent 24 years old and i work 50 hours a week? when have u ever once texted me "lets play this together tonight. lets see a movie tonight" you didnt. you are mad i didnt make the effort for YOUR life. i DID go to therapy because of it. you want to see the hospital and medical bills ive been paying because of it? because i will. call my fucking mother and she will tell you what SHES had to go through from this because she is also done with you and you airing out every issue youve ever had on her every time youd come over and never ONCE asking her how she is doing after losing her husband. call HER and tell her i was "obviously lying" when i said i would get help.

i wasnt going to fight it. i didnt want to bend over and "Just listen and change my behavior" because i didnt need to change. i was DOING my best. friendship isnt a transaction, unlike you keeping count every time you helped me apparently i didnt bc it wasnt things i Expected returned or expected PRAISE for. i bought games for you i WANTED to play together so wed have something else to talk about other than Negative Topics because i wanted you to desperately feel better and happy with something but you COULDNT because you could not stop being obsessed with your own misery and nobody likes being around that. thats the bitter truth. so i said bye because it wasnt worth it and if ending our friendship was something you TRULY thought was the best course of action then like fine. whatever.

so please continue telling everyone you meet every day the rest of your life about the horrible bad friend you once had. who never did anything for you ever because i know you are going to. and continue to surround yourself with equally controlling people who validate your feelings. i will be enjoying my life and continuing to ignore any further messages as well. ok, bye

[tenteen]

hi beautiful. what are your buffy opinions. lay 'em all on me

Riley sucks i hope they kill him horribly . i hated him the second he showed up i knewwww it was going to be a romance i hated watching. elaboration: hes like if they made everything about Bangel uninteresting and (as far as i am) have not at all examined any power dynamics between the two, and i feel like if they do they will find a way to position Buffy over him since they love to connect them on the monster hunting front but since shes the mystical slayer she has some kind of power over Riley. I can see it now. Also he treats her like 11 treats clara with the whole obsessing over her being enigmatic or whatever and i hate him

i used to be a Xander hater but hes grown on me a lot but he still can be so sucks sometimes and also it gets annoying when all Joss does is use him for a mouthpiece for his jokes. I understand hes a self insert but it makes it even more annoying

I wish we knew anything about Olivia its cool to see her in the show and its not like. super important but if shes going to keep showing up in Giles’ life i want to know about her !!

I’m all for gay willow im ready for it but the way they made Oz leave the show was so OOC and i loved him and willow together and honestly? Wild At Heart wasnt a terrible episode i enjoyed it even and from my understanding Seth Green had a movie he wanted to be in so he was written out. well :p he did not deserve that

I have not watched any Angel yet and I really miss cordelia… badly

willow buffy should be end game. to me. thank you and goodnight

s3 was probably my favorite so far the mayor plotline was legitimately so good and fascinating. ok ill stop ramblint bc i cant think of anything else ive been thinking abt super hard. Im so excited to see more of Tara and still being grateful i know fuck all about this show. Hush was episode of all time. also BEER BAD IS NOT THAT BAD OF AN EPISODE I HAD FUN WATCHING IT IT WAS SO SILLY.

also it was criminal how short lived some of the best characters are. Faith Oz Drusilla …… And Angel i get he got his whole own show but I really just enjoyed seeing him in Buffy sometimes 😭 Do not talk to me abt S3’s ending or Amends or The Prom or any of that bc … I went insane for so many reasons and Bangel made me genuinely unwell

ok now i’ll tell u my fave characters (in order) and finish this post . thank u for asking feel feel to rip me apart in my replies and pls dont spoil me for anything !!

Willow

Buffy

Giles

Spike

Drusilla

Oz

Faith

Cordelia

Angel

Harmony

Xander

if u read all of this bless u

[dykexenomorph]

thank u @whodoesnataliehave and @hex-rex for taggin me!!

1.) are you named after anyone? Christopher Robin my good friend Christopher Robin.....

2.) when was the last time you cried? the day before yesterday for silly reasons! crying over everything is good for the soul i think

3.) do you have kids HELL NO!!!!!!! (i wouldnt mind having some WAY. WAY. WAY. into the future tho :])

4.) what sports do/have you played? none unfortunately, i wanted to play basketball in highschool (and 100% would've) but i wasn't allowed to bc i was still supposed to be doing physical therapy for my hips </3

5.) do you use sarcasm? YES ALL THE TIME, the only other person who can tell when im being sarcastic is my dad though, its so unfortunate TT

6.) whats the first thing you notice about people? didn't realize it until now but i think its their hair? im extremely bad w faces (and have trouble remembering them + telling people apart when i don't know them well) so i usually remember folks by their hair LMAO

7.) eye color brown

8.) scary movies or happy endings? both are good!!!!!!

9.) any talents? i can vaguely play guitar and ukulele + draw when my brain cooperates w me. im also very good at making origami cranes (DONT ask me to make anything else though. mastering one kick vs 1000 punches or whatever the hell bruce lee was talking about)

10.) where were you born? what are you..........a cop? (right outside of this TINY! ASS! TOWN! in georgia)

11.) what are your hobbies? reading, drawing, playin music, and crocheting soon hopefully :3

12.) do you have any pets? i have two cats (bobbi and shimmey) and two dogs (loki and coco). coco is my bestest friend and the most specialist girl in the whole wide world and loki is loki. the cats remain mostly unphased by my presence.

13.) how tall are you? ohhh you know. about this tall. like yey big i'd say. about as tall as i am. (5'2)

14.) what was your favorite subject in school? it was and still is history!! im also very fond of algebra and english :]

15.) whats your dream job GIVE ME A JOB AS A LIBRARIAN NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tagging: ANYONE WHO WANTS TO!!!!! IF U READ THIS AND UR MY MUTUAL DO IT!!! IF UR NOT MY MUTUAL ALSO DO IT!! or dont, its up to u 👍

[daedalusdavinci]

spell homestuck

GOD. THIS IS SO MUCH LONGER THAN TWO FACE. i typed too much and theres too many qs so under the cut it goes

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., TV shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)?

books!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! or....... i guess comics, these days, but i HATE READING COMICS they juST HAVE MORE COMPELLING FANDOMS. book fandoms are PUNY nad everyone is STUPID. youd think actual literary fandoms would have reading comprehension and understanding of literary critique but no!!!!!!!!!!!!! its literally my eternal fuckign struggle. somehow comic fandoms hit the perfect medium between compelling, readable content and the enthusiasm of cartoon fans without the childishness of cartoon fans

O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?

this isnt really a thing i do. the only time i associate characters w songs is my own ocs. barbies theme is miltons tower from the what remains of edith finch soundtrack!

M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.

i have also never really been one to project myself into stories. its just not how i consume media. i think sollux and rose already closely resemble the kinds of friends i make, so maybe them?

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what?

(freddy fazbear vc) vanessa.... ive done things, im not proud of.

i dont even know if i want to answer this question bc its so fucking humiliating LKJSNDLFSDNFSDF the truth is yes. i am solely responsible for. a lot. particularly in the pjo fandom. i created several crackships ground up all on my own way back in 2014 and developed a following for them and i. dont wantto tell you what those ships were. LSKJDFNSLDJNSDFSDDF ive also pioneered many ship tags for other fandoms and i ship a lot of rarepairs and stuff but i dont think im RESPONSIBLE for them?? in that some ppl already were into them/talking abotu them or tht theyre still not popular (augh. to the ones that became popular) but i AM liTERALLY responsible for some crack shit in the pjo fandom and its. it haunts me sometimes. i dont want to talk about it. IF YOU REMEMBER WHAT I DID NO YOU DONT

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

this is so vague. my headcanons are shifting and nebulous and aus are my constant companion in everything, but uhhhhhhghhusjkdjnsdg i think. roxy writes the same way dave draws comics. its extremely memey and meta and self aware and largely just for the personal lolz, and were all doing her a disservice by pretending her writing looks like roses, when in reality dirk is probably the one whod make comics the way rose makes books (which is probably why he doesnt make comics). its more of that thing where roxy and dave are the same and rose and dirk are the same ykwim. well YOU dont corvus but im sure someone else does

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?

jason takes after bruce in terms of like. adopting entirely too many kids. he broods

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

harvey is a heartwrenching character when written well, with a complicated view of morality, heartbreaking ties to our main hero, and a lot of internal conflict. something about such a hopeful character deadset on making a different in the system becoming a victim of it, and the potential he has as a vehicle for critiquing the law.

percy is my favorite character from pjo bc it was the very first time in my life i ever read a book and saw myself in it. hes aggressive, impulsive, and rebellious, he fidgets and has a hard time standing still, he acts on emotion without always thinking it through, he gets in trouble in school and hands his mom a murder weapon to kill his stepdad, hes just... hes a lot of the things ive always gotten in trouble for, things i couldnt help being, and hes a hero. he means everything to me.

vriska, i will maintain until the day i die, is one of the best homestuck characters- maybe just characters?- ever written. shes dramatic, shes impulsive, shes manipulative and mean and creative, and shes just so messy about it. shes a mean girl in a way that feels real, where her trauma impacts and shapes her as a person, and shes complex, with warring wants, and people she cares about, and dreams, and shes so messy. shes rough and rude and shes doing what SHE wants to, being a version of herself that feels right to HER, rather than some caricature of the hot badass evil lady. shes thirteen!! and she FEELS thirteen. shes a thirteen year old weird girl who is kind of an asshole, and she means literally fucking everything to me. shes a pirate!!!!! shes a swashbuckling badass dressing up in her larping outfit and yelling at her friends on the playground to swab the deck and she is the bestest ever, the end.

i didnt mean for each one of these to be longer than the last but here we are.

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will.

i hate jdedave peace and love it just feels weird as hell to me. dave, for the most part, is hyper respectful of other peoples choices and boundaries but when it comes to jade hes always trying to mke choices for her, to protect her, and it gets to the point where even jade points out how much it bugs her. jades crush on dave also seems to come from a place of misunderstanding to me, admiring a lot of the parts of himself that he exaggerates and pretends to care about as a result of trauma. it always felt like a kid crush that they shouldve grown out of with time. dave also just sort of seems to... go along with whatever romantic relationships people push him into at that age, rolling with whoever flirts with him jsut bc hes trying to maintain the image of a player, so its really hard to take him seriously any time he hits on someone?

that is just my interpretation of it tho

K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?

well. i havent finished my reread of homestuck, so that feels difficult to comment on just yet, bc im sure ill have a different opinion when i do finish it. no one in dc gets character arc bc theyre all just undone immediately, so thats like. yeah. and in pjo the arcs are pretty weak bc 1) kids books and 2) RICK UNDOES THEM ALL. AUGH. regardless of all of this, i am going to say jason grace. he had a lot of development in like the last two hoo books, or maybe just like.... hints of how he couldve developed? promise? which rick immediately set fire to in toa when he killed him, but fUCKING WHATEVER. UGH.

anyway actually tho eleanor from the good place. bisexual icon. queen. probably one of the best character arcs of all time. the episode w her mom has some of the most powerful fucking dialogue ever and i think about it. all the time. i should rewatch the good place.....

[salaciousslut]

How has your day been so far, sweetheart?<3 also im ngl sometimes when i listen to Igual Que Un Ángel by Kali Uchis i think of you🫣

I'd trust you with my life if i ever blacked out tbh! I dont trust many people around me when im drunk but you give off a really safe feeling so if it were just us two i would maybe over do it on the alcohol 🫣 the thought of being hung over is so scary to me tbh!! I never wanna be hung over! And if i drink on an empty stomach im fucked like im just real drunk off one shot its not fair 🙄 i hope you'd have fun with us if you got drunk with us!! but im ngl i think i was a lil weird last night due to unfortunately getting a bit horny but y'know thats life😩 im just glad my friends werent able to tell cause that's between me and whoever i wanna tell. Normally though we are just big dorks abour anime, movies, and random tv shows, and i cant shut up about music half the time. 🤭

Im the same way!! i just unfortunately occasionally have some like autism/adhd moments where suddenly ive focused too much on trying to actively listen and end up not listening, so if i ask you to repeat yourself a few times its either bc of that or the fact that my audio processing stuff is kinda crazy at times. But i know i'll enjoy hearing you talk<3

Tease me as much as you want to<3 and by all means go ahead and be a menace. Either way im gonna end up with my fingers inside you🥰 i wanna make you melt, i wanna see just how much you need someone inside of you<33

Its sweet that you wanna spoil me<3 like it feels like a crime that youre calling me kind when you keep talking about taking care of me and spoiling me and im just saying nice things. Like i should be taking care of you, youre the princess here sweetheart<3 and i swear to you im thriving under any circumstance, the universe wakes me up every morning by gently kissing my eyelids hehe🤭

I hope to show you my smile and see yours, i dunno how you feel about video calls, but maybe when im comfy with it and if youre comfy with it (and after ive been in your dms a little while) we can do a lil video call! Just an innocent little hang out between a butch and a pretty girl<3 I'll let you know if you feed it too much in that case, I could use a lil more confidence just not too much. I can teeter on the edge of entitlement if i let it go too far, and i hate who i am when i act entitled like that version of me is such a dick and not even in a hot way.

its been okay, ive been studying all day because i have a big exam on monday which is soooo boring but im trying my best! and omg i just listened to the song and its so pretty!! im really honored that you think of me 🥺☺️ ive listened to a few of kali uchis stuff and its sooo good!!

aww yes i take care of my people!! im the mom friend so i gotta make sure everyone is alive and safe! but hehe i hope u werent horny because of me 🫣 if it was then oopsies sorry babe! and i love big lil dorks!! im a lil nerd myself so i totally understand!!

its okay i know what u mean! i have auditory processing issues too but im very understanding and well always do as asked so u never have to worry being around me!

ahh youre soo swoon worthy, i want you inside me now!!!! 🥺

youre saying nice things because you are nice and kindhearted! plus i just like seeing other happy!! and we can take care of each other!! none of that one way shit!!! its give and take!! hehe im kissing u on the nose and temple rn 😘

yes yes i love video calls, im the type who if u give me permission to call u whenever, ill learn ur schedule and just ft out of the blue bc i miss ur face and presence. i know how u feel tho so please take ur time!! hehe handsome butch and a pretty princess on the phone is too powerful tho, everyone else needs to watch out

okay i understand!! but dont be too hard on yourself okay? u deserve good things

[snackiyaki]

Dear u,

before you doubt it, yes u. Hi, i know ur happy and well. I heard ur traveling and ur not alone anymore. Is that why you stop checking up on me? I wondered and typed but “respect” would come to my mind and i would delete. U are always in my dreams. u come back to me and we live that dream life of happiness and love. u will always be the love of my life. ur my red string that no one can cut, sadly. I wish i could see you, but why? no point anymore because.. its obv why. u moved on. Im happy for you. But if I could see you in person one last time, I would tell you this….

Te extraño, u were my soulmate and honestly the love of my life that will always have my heart. Even if u dont want it anymore it is still attached to you. I think about what we had and wonder if ur really moved on and found love like we had again. Because.. we had a love that god and movies talk about. (at least thats how i felt for u). i graduated college with honors. I hope u are proud of me. I am 23 now, i think my life will change this year it seems a proposal is coming my way.. i still dk about that. ive grown alot physically and mentally, i miss how u always made me laugh. I wish i could talk to you again for hours, i want to hug u, smell u, and if you allowed me to.. i would love to kiss you for the last time…would u even want to see me :c i cried watching lala land if u watched the movie u would understand how it relates. ur prob never going to see this and that gives me courage to post it but yet im afraid bc im so delusional that I still think u care about me and maybe u will see this and the day of u sending me a text or a call will come.. te amo y siempre te voy amar.

ps. did u ever learn that song for me..

“tu chaparra.”

[scrmngtts]

Okay ive been thinking about it now for 2 days and I think i really wanna write it what happened about our date.

SO FIRST OFF, I got pissed off early on because he said he was gonna be like 30mins late for our movie. And that really pissed me off.. I just said, okay.. ofcourse im not gonna tell him that Im pissed off. But i think he sensed it bc i just reply smtg like.. “Oh ok then”

Then he said he was joking.. 🙄🙄

But i didnt read his msg that he was just joking so for like 30mins i was so pissed. I was thinking to myself this is gonna be the last time im gonna hang out with him.. cuz man its such a turn off honestly.. like?? Yknow we had plans, you shud be prepared and then hes gonna tell me hes going to be 30mins late??? Also he doesnt have work that day, if he had work i wud have understand but no. He wasnt doing anything prior so why is he gonna be late?? So that was going thru my mind for 30mins and when i saw his msg i was so upset and relieved at the same time that he was just joking..

Fast forward now, we saw eo.. we watched Spiderverse! :) I really enjoyed that a lot. Still so funny tho, even more funnier cuz ive seen some memes that made it funnier. Also, him beside me laughing is so cute! Man.. am i down bad again? So yeah that was the movie part. Nothing really much happened.

Then after movie, we went to the mall to walk around.. he said he was looking for some daily shorts.. so we visited a few shops. We saw his bestfriend.. we just talked for a bit, it was nice seeing her but ngl it felt really weird and by that time i felt smtg.. like a tinge of uneasiness.. idk how to act and idk what to say.. i mean do i invite her to come with us?? But its our date idk how he will feel as well.. but at the same time idk if he knows that hes gonna meet his friend.. that was really weird to me but i didnt pay attention too much of it.. i was just worried that ill act awkward and wudnt be able to convey my own feelings nicely.. but after that we said our goodbyes and we started walking to the restaurant..

Tbh.. at that point i just wanna go home, the mood wasnt really it anymore.. idk what it was but i feel like i accepted it already that this is not gonna work out.. sometimes i really dont like how hes so into himself like?? He likes to dress up and such and he cares for his looks but sometimes for me i think its a bit much.. idk..

We got to the restaurant, we waited for a bit then we ate.. i didnt like the main course.. i ordered chicken alfredo but i do like the soup that comes with it so i got 2 soups cuz he doesnt want his soup. There, while eating we got to talk more.. i feel like this time around is very different from our first date night out when it was for my bday. I had fun talking yo him.. he did ask me about my preferences in a guy.. its funny cuz whenever i say smtg like,, i wud say i dont want a lazy person

He wud react and be like.. damn im a lazy one..

I told him, i want someone who is thoughtful..

And he laughed, im not thoughtful just so yknow.. im really not..

And in my head.. why r u telling me that?? I already know ure not also im not telling u to be thoughtful to me..

And it went on and on.. we keep getting sidetracked with other stuff so we kept repeating the qs and as.

I did tell him that Spiderverse played a huge part in my life, like it really inspired me. I told him the part what got me and i told him i know its cringe..

But he said its not cringey at all.. and that made me happy :))

It went on and on until we got to dessert. He asked me when were about to end if we can walk around first before going home.. tbh i wanted to go home right after but since he asked :> also i lowkey wanna spend time with him so ofc i said yes! At this point im really comfy talking about anything with him, i was honest with my as and such, also the qs he was asking i did ask him as well. It was nice getting to know him.. tho i think i already know the stuff we talked about..

He did say smtg about hes a firm believer that theres always a way. Which i admire him for it… okk thats it for now i guess..

(Im tired will take a break here and continue tmr)

(back now- continuing where i left off)

so when we left the restaurant, i suddenly remember what is one of the main things i like about someone and that is, he cannot be negative in life. i told him that the person i want is not pessimistic. then he said, somewhere along the lines like..

"im not pessimist but im realistic."

and i said, thats fine. thats different tho. you can be realistic without being pessimistic.

then he says, thats what i like about you tho, youre so positive. not all people are like that. then i answered him, cuz i dont want to be negative!

tbh i feel like life is already sad and challenging? but its up to u if u wanna stay that way. like, life isnt always good for me but i dont wanna dwell on it. i always wanna look at the brighter side. he did say that not all days are good days. and its true! i know that and its hard to stay positive but still, life is only what you make it. i iddnt tell him that but.. i got really really happy and fuzzy and warm inside we he said that thats what he like about me being positive. :D because i do want to give positivity to people eventho im not always positive. im just faking it till u i make it basically. but i always tell myself i cant be sad all the time. i cant be like my classmate M who always so negative bc once u think negative thoughts it reflects on ur life. so only happy and positive thoughts.

so yeah that is one of my requirements, i dont want that gloomy energy in my life so i told him that. then we kept walking, harbour front is so pretty at night, im sad i didnt take a photo of the scenery.

one of the core memory of that date was when he said i was dramatic, in a good way. and i was baffled! i was like ??? excuse me? im not dramatic T.T then he goes on and explained that im dramatic in a good way. like: oh my god? you are lifting? oh my god? that is so cool!

and im just there listening to him like??? no im not like that! but he still kept going saying yes you are like that.

i guess im really expressive sometimes.. idk?? but yeah then we just going and going.. cant even remember half of the things we talked about..

only thing we got us going home is looking for a washroom.. cuz we wanted to go pee and we cudnt find one lol.

so yeah i guess ill end it here then ill add more as i remember things.

[dalishthunder]

😂 I haven't written in a while so it's a bit rough, but if you'd like I suppose I could send it to you once I finish? Would have to edit a bit as it's originally between him and my ldb OC, but I could make it x gn!reader/ldb. Halfway done already, would just be changing some pronouns lol

And ooooh I half thought Garill was an oc u made for H&G (I haven't managed to stick through any of my playthroughs long enough to get to Neb's personal quest, or hear about Camia, despite wanting to uncover it all for myself in-game. Partly because I can't stop modding, aka breaking, my game). I'm determined to get to it in this latest playthrough though so wish me luck and restraint lol. Also I feel you on the silent judgy friend – that's me, I'm the judgy friend 😭😭 tryna work on it tho, "if they didn't ask then stfu"

I think the comedy ur weaving into the neb fics is great! Just these little sprinkles of it, just like his personality – sardonic and dry but makes me ugly laugh anyway. Ironic tho how "not even trying" comedy is always the kind that makes us laugh the most

!!! I'm glad u liked the music! And agreed, ritual is SUCH a vibe, literally had it and PWF as my fic's theme song (though the writing has diverged a bit). Your recommendations were really good too, esp You Matter – it was so sweet! I'm not usually big on musical theatre tbh tho – I veer more toward musical movies: the og high school musical, the 2000's Barbie movies, Julie and the Phantoms... (If u ever wanna ugly cry... "Unsaid, Emily". I SOB over that one). But Lindsey Stirling!! That one was AMAZING. I was really into her about three years ago – Shatter Me, Brave Enough, and Artemis were some of my favourite albums. But also I just realised I'm literally writing an essay at this point I'm sorry I got too excited lol I'm glad my little asks were making u happy tho!

I'm more than happy to read anything you've written even if it isn't x reader! I just love this skrunkly man

Garill really only has a few lines of dialogue, but it's pretty evident that they've known each other for a while and are probably pretty good friends, and honestly that's so fucking valid! Skyrim is a massive game and the only things that make it worthwhile at this point are mods bc like.... idk skyrim is kind of soulless without them. Also I too am the judgey friend so i tried channeling that sort of "I'm not going to tell you what to do with your life bc those are your mistakes to make, but homie don't be fucking stupid."

Thank you so much frfrfr!!! 🥺🥺🥺 I love making people laugh just as much (or even more) as making people hurt with angst!

Yooooo I love musical theater but it's like... only sometimes. I go through bursts. I'm not a huge movie person, I frequently get super distracted unless im actively engaged with whatever im doing so sometimes people get frustrated when i dont get references or know actors haha.

Literally never apologize for writing essays I love them so much!!!!! I always get super excited whenever people want to talk to me! I am basically a siamese cat who gets people sick when their human has to take a shower so they just scream

[rrxnjun]

tbh i love when people tell me their fav artists/music cuz i feel like i just learn a lot about them or like get to know what they are like. and also i just love it when people say/throw in something that i wouldn't expect them to say it's just so fun!!! AND YES TOTALLY AGREE WITH IR TAKE UR MUSIC SHOULD MAKE U HAPPY!!! ahh i love jack manifold he is actually one of the coolest and funniest people out there his streams are just🤌 (okay cool might be a reach but.. /j)

idk my friend says she just skips a lot of parts from episodes with the ones she doesn't like but even if i like or obsess over a show i just can't get my self to finish it (me with the owl house rn;-;) so that method (?) just doesn't help me out😭😭 yeahhh i looked up what it was actually about after i sent the ask cuz i was curious and i didn't really remember hearing about the movie and then i kinda regretted the way i phrased my question🥲but i'm glad it wasn't that bad of a movie!! IM SO HAPPY U KNOW THEM!!! TRUE R5 STAN ISTG😌😌 red velvet is just such a great song i was so obsessed with ittttt but their music just slaps in general

ooo dammnnn slovak drama:oo but i might look up a translation for the song then cuz now im curious:o (and also thank u still for telling me about this song i vibed so hard to it while writing my essays) i feel like slovak arists like them have to be outthere somewhere they might just not be that well know or something but if there actually isn't at all i hope there will be soon!!!!!

YEAH IM SO SAD ABOUT IT☹️but i think it might be better cuz i just have too much school work rn to just go on a trip☹️☹️☹️ PRETTY BUILDINGS ARE THE BEST THERE IS SO MANY OF THEM IN BUDAPEST AND I TAKE A PIC RVERYTIME I SEE A PRETTY ONE ITS THE BEST EVER ITS NOT A WEIRD OBSESSION!!!! and i really hope i will be able to visit the city another time☹️☹️☹️

it won't really be easier until like the end of june so i just hope i survive;-; but thank u though 💞💓💕 and i hope u have a nice and lovely day as well!!!🥳💖💘

(also i saw that tell me who u ship me with post and i just want to say like many other people did that u and haechan would just be very powerful🫢🫢hoping for ur baekhyun concert date with him🫡) (liebestraum anon💕💓)

EXACTLY!!! music taste says so much about a person. and wild unexpected music tastes are so fun like i have a friend that listened to exclusively heavy metal but then played lucifer by shinee on aux and i was like um....what in the- also jack manifold is so dear to me i dont watch his streams but his existence in other ppls videos is always so comedic i love him

WHY WOULD U SKIP PARTS IN EPISODES WHATS EVEN THE POINT OF WATCHING THEN??? thats the same as forcing yourself to watching something 😭😭 if i hate something i just stop bc life is too short yknow what i mean. AND ITS OK u dont have to know abt it djdjdj but i get your concern 😶

AAA if u really want the translation i can translate for u 🥳 i think i looked up the translation for a friend before and wasnt pleased w it bc it didnt really fit the energy so im just gonna do it myself to give the lyrics justice AHAHA if youre interested ofc! glad it helped w essays 😌😌 i physically cant listen to music when writing essays bc then i cant focus so i applaud you HAHA and you are right there must be artists like that here but idk them:((( im gonna try looking for some to appreciate my home country more

I WANNA GO TO BUDAPEST I WAS TALKING ABT THIS W MY FRIEND THE OTHER DAY WHEN WE WERE MAKING PLANS FOR THE SUMMER‼‼ i said i wanna take a train there and just look around and shit she didnt seem convinced but im gonna do it anyway so feel free to be my tour guide we should meet up actually

awh i hope june comes fast for u!! i am chilling rn ((even tho i have 6 essays to write until the end of april) but then i have exams may-jun so i get the stress😩😩 im rooting for u mwah!!

IM SCREAMING. CRYNG. EVERYONE SHOULD STOP TELLING ME THEY SHIP ME W HYUCK BECAUSE I SIMPLY CANNOY DEAL. me @ hyuck: baekhyun concert date when?? or we can just make out in your room and listen to the bambi album instead i dont mind either-