#if u actually read all of this thank u ily and i’m sorry I know it makes very little sense I kind of just barfed words out

[wooziorgans]

a pretty boy and a happy birthday || ljh

summary: it’s y/n’s first birthday in korea with jihoon. he’s somehow managed to keep his plans for their birthday a secret. despite both jihoon and y/n not being big fans of pda, today is different. it’s hard to keep the love you feel for someone on their day hidden.

word count: 5.4K

warnings: saying ily sooo much like almost too much. crying on your birthday (happy tears tho). mentions of a previous ldr. long distance friendship n missing your best friend. reader doesn’t like seaweed. mentions of drinking. pussy drunk jihoon. sweet ol’ love making. missionary. riding. overstimulation (both). edging (m.). unprotected sex. jihoon also cries. riding jihoon until he cries. popping the question while being balls deep inside ur partner. surprises.

a/n: happy birthday to ME. this is super self indulgent cus it was my birthday so i wrote this for me and me only. but u can also read it too. also sorry it’s uhhh late. i got into the re-editing mood so uh I rewrote half of this. anyways. enjoy!!!

Jihoon’s arm wraps around Y/N as he watches the second hand tick on his watch. “Three… two… one.” He presses a soft kiss to their lips. “Happy birthday, my love.” His hand carefully holds the side of their face as he pulls the covers further over both of them. He places another tender kiss on their lips, thumb brushing over the corner of their mouth.

“Thank you, pretty.” Y/N’s voice is soft and Jihoon sees his partner's lip start to quiver softly, as their eyes start to get glassy.

“Wait, baby, fuck. Don't cry.” Jihoon chuckles lightheartedly, thumb moving to catch the small tear that starts to run down their cheek. “Please don't cry, my love. It’s okay, you’re okay. I love you, so so so much.” He reassures, kissing their forehead, as his thumb continues to stroke their cheek in the familiar way it always does.

This doesn’t seem to help Y/N at all. More small tears escape their eyes, wetting the fabric of Jihoon’s shirt and his thumb.

“I know,” Y/N’s voice breaks softly as they cry, a small smile pulling at the corners of their mouth. “I’m sorry, I’m just so… I love you Jihoon. I’m so happy to be here and finally spend things like this with you. Thank you for waiting for me.” They puff out their bottom lip in a pout. Jihoon laughs quietly, despite the tears he’s now also pushing back.

The moment is dissolved as Y/N’s phone starts to vibrate against Jihoon’s chest. Y/N picks it up, swiping to answer, already knowing who it is.

“Happy birthday, stupid. I miss you.” Their best friend, now countries away smiling through the facetime call at them, greets.

“Thanks. I miss you too. You should come visit when you can.” Y/N pouts softly, and the feeling of almost crying is back. Through the screen, Y/N sees their friends face shift.

“Please don’t cry. I’ll see what I can do with my vacation hours next month and we’ll figure something out. I love you, y’know?” She speaks softly, and Y/N only pouts more. She had this ability to read Y/N like no other, only rivaled by Jihoon and Seungkwan. But even then, the near decade of friendship had its benefits.

“I love you too. I really want you to see Korea; it’s so beautiful here.” Y/N smiles softly after finally keeping their tears at bay.

“Any big plans for today?” She asks, head tilting to the side.

“Mm… probably not. I think I’ll just spend the day with Jihoon. He took it off work, and you know how he is, so we have to make the most out of his day off.” A wide smile spreads over Y/N’s entire face as they talk about their partner.

“You got him to take a day off? God, you’re so lovesick it makes me want to throw up.” She laughs softly, no clear indication of actually wanting to hurl. “Speaking of, where is he?”

“Hm? Oh. I’m laying on him right now.” Y/N pans the camera up to Jihoon, who waves the best he can with his arm caged under Y/N.

“Ah, well, I’ll let you two get to sleep. It’s late for you. I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday. We’ll talk later. Have fun on your day off.” She waves to the camera, wiggling her fingers. Y/N reciprocates the action.

“Okay. I love you.” Y/N smiles.

“I love you too. Goodnight.” She drags out the last syllable in a sing-song tone. Y/N echoes her, before her face is gone from the screen.

Y/N pouts softly again, and Jihoon runs a hand through their hair. “You’re okay, baby. No more crying, sweetheart. You’re not supposed to cry on your birthday.” Jihoon coos. Y/N laughs softly.

“I cry every year on my birthday.” Jihoon wipes their eyes with his thumb, a fond smile on his lips.

“You’re such a big baby.” He jokes, lips pressing against the top of their head.

“Yeah, but I’m your baby.” Y/N giggles, leaning up into his touch.

“Yeah,” Jihoon whispers softly, “you are.” They’re far past the point of being shy around each other, but for some reason Jihoon feels especially bashful.

Maybe it’s because it’s the first birthday they’re able to spend with each other, in their house; the one Jihoon finalized three months after Y/N made it to Korea to be with him. They had outgrown his apartment, and with Y/N moving so far to be with him, he was ready to justify the purchase as a way to provide for Y/N, and for the future when both of them were ready to properly settle down.

His heart swells loudly in his chest, all of the air in his lungs suddenly feels thick. “Let's go to sleep, okay? You’re getting tired, I can feel it. You can spoil me in the morning.” Y/N, ever observant of Jihoon, whispers. Jihoon hadn’t even registered his own fatigue until Y/N had mentioned it. His arm feels heavy around Y/N, and not from them laying on it.

Jihoon cranes his neck down for a kiss, which Y/N returns languidly. Their brief crying session made their fatigue set in much faster.

“M’kay. I love you. Happy birthday.” Jihoon runs his fingers through their hair again. Y/N’s hand brushes over Jihoon’s chest, nail catching softly on his nipple. He shudders softly. “Not right now, honey. I promise I’ll spoil you so good tonight. Gonna buy you whatever you want today.” Jihoon’s speech starts to meld into itself as he starts to drift off. His hand settles on their back as he rubs soft circles on the bottom of their shoulder blades. Y/N leans into his side further, face nuzzling into his chest.

“Okay. I love you.” Is all they offer, before they close their eyes, hand gripping the fabric of his shirt softly.

An unfamiliar smell spreading through the house is what wakes Y/N up. They groan softly, rolling over, expecting Jihoon to be there. His side of the bed is still warm, and once sounds start to register, they hear a soft sizzling sound from the kitchen. Taking a few seconds to sit up and adjust to the new position, they place their feet on the heated linoleum floor. What a perk of dating a millionaire. 

Rubbing their eyes as they stand, they slowly make their way out of the bedroom, down the hall to the kitchen. 

Jihoon stands over the stovetop, spatula in hand as he focuses on monitoring the pan and a small pot. Y/N approaches him carefully, arms wrapping around his bare waist. His sweatpants hang off his hips, v-line exposed to the open air. 

Jihoon jumps slightly, before he relaxes against Y/N. “Good morning. You weren’t supposed to be up yet. I was supposed to surprise you with breakfast in bed.” Y/N leans over his shoulder, chin resting on it. They can hear the slight pout in his voice, which is gravely in the same way it is every morning. 

“‘M sorry. My pillow was gone, and so is your shirt, apparently.” Y/N laughs softly, pressing a soft kiss to Jihoon’s cheek.

“Stove’s hot. Go and sit, it’s almost ready.” Y/N nods, kissing his neck softly before they ruffle his hair in the same way that used to make him grimace in the early days of their relationship. Now, he smiles softly at the gesture, hand placed over the one they have wrapped around his front.

Y/N slips away from Jihoon to take a seat on the couch. They turn on the television, getting comfortable in the mountain of blankets on the couch. A few minutes later, Jihoon comes into the living room, balancing a tray on his hands. 

A steaming plate of bacon and waffles is placed in front of them, alongside a bowl of an unfamiliar soup and two sets of utensils. “I, uh, I made you seaweed soup. If you don’t like it, that’s okay. I know you’re very specific about the kinds of seaweed you’ll eat. I only made a small pot.” The small gesture, one of Jihoon’s culture, makes Y/N emotional for some reason. 

They pout softly, leaning over the coffee table to pick up the spoon on the tray. They swirl it around the bowl, taking in the steaming aroma. “Thank you, Jihoon.” They blow softly on the spoon, bringing it to their lips. Jihoon watches intently as they take their first sip. Y/N’s face is hard to read as they swallow the broth. 

“Thoughts?” Jihoon asks simply. 

“I don’t know how I feel about it, right now. It’s a little too early for me to process something new.” Y/N laughs softly, unsure if rejecting the soup completely would be offensive. It wasn’t bad, just new, and it was a little too early for new things to not overwhelm Y/N. 

“That’s okay. I’ll eat it if you don’t want it.” Jihoon leans against Y/N on the couch, arm wrapping around their waist. “Let’s just eat.” The single plate of food was heaping. Most of it would be eaten by Jihoon anyways. Both of them dig in, and once the food is gone, Jihoon takes the tray back to the kitchen to wash the dishes. 

“Go get ready. I’m taking you shopping today, and then I'm thinking we hit up your favourite restaurant and call it a day? I have a cake for delivery later tonight.” Y/N hums, pressing a kiss to Jihoon’s cheek before they head to get ready. Jihoon slips into the bedroom to get changed. 

On the way out of the door, he shoots off a quick text. 

Jihoon [11:58] Leaving now. Soonyoung has the spare key. Wake him up if you need to, this has to be perfect. 

The door clicks open. Y/N steps back into the house, juggling multiple bags. All of the lights in the main foyer are off, which immediately has them on high alert. “Ji? Baby, did you turn the lights off when we left?”

“N-yeah. Don’t you remember?” If there’s one thing Jihoon is bad at, it’s lying. Still, Y/N seems too busy juggling the bags they insisted on carrying as they slip off their shoes. Jihoon sets down his bags at the door, carefully pulling the bags out of Y/N’s hands. “We’ll unpack all of this later okay? Come with me.” Jihoon leads Y/N into the living room, before he flips the light on. 

Twelve men and their partners pop out from behind the massive couch. A collective shout of “Happy birthday!” sounds the entire room. Y/N jumps back, right into Jihoon’s arms. They bury their face into his chest. 

Jihoon laughs softly, rubbing their back. “Sorry for surprising you like this. It was Seungkwan’s idea.” Y/N laughs, leaning up to kiss his cheek gently. 

“It’s okay. I’m just shocked.” Y/N pulls away from Jihoon to go greet the twenty-odd guests inside their house. 

“Y/N! Happy birthday!” Seungkwan pulls them into a warm hug, smile from ear to ear. 

“Why did you do this? I would’ve been more than happy to just spend the day with you if you wanted. You didn’t have to go all out.” Y/N laughs softly, flicking Seungkwan’s forehead. He pouts. 

“You deserve the best. C’mon, we have gifts. And alcohol.” Seungkwan pulls Y/N further into the living room. Jihoon stands with his arms crossed and a fond smile on his face. Soonyoung bumps into his shoulder. 

“You’re so whipped. So incredibly whipped.” Jihoon swears at him, before telling him to fuck off, smile never leaving his face. “God, what have they done to you?” Soonyoung asks, faux shock on his features, but he’s smiling as well. 

“I’m in love, Soonyoung.” Is all Jihoon offers.

When it’s time to get out the cake, Seungkwan carries it carefully, swearing at Seokmin to get away from him so he can focus on not dropping it. Everyone starts singing happy birthday, as Mingyu guides Y/N to sit at the table. They cover their face as all eyes are focused directly on them, sitting reluctantly. Seungkwan places the cake in front of them as the song ends. 

Jihoon wraps his arms around Y/N’s neck loosely. He places a soft kiss to their cheek, before he whispers softly into their ear. “Make a wish, my love.” Y/N giggles softly, hand clamping over his forearm as they lean forward to blow out the candles. They close their eyes, taking a deep breath before they blow out every candle. 

“What’d you wish for?” Soonyoung asks. Y/N shoots a faux glare at him. 

“I can’t tell you or it won’t come true.” He whines softly, going back to his drink. Jihoon kisses the side of Y/N’s face again, and somewhere in the room, Chan makes a gagging sound. 

“I will seriously never get used to him being affectionate with Y/N, ever.” Jihoon picks one of the candles out of the cake to throw at his younger brother. It hits his white shirt, staining it bright blue. He whines, and that makes Y/N laugh. 

Jihoon decides then that Y/N’s laughter is equivalent to light, and that light is Y/N, and maybe that is the secret of the universe. It’s hard to be silent when the whole world is right at your fingertips. 

Cake eaten, drinks consumed, hours spent in the living room and the backyard, Jihoon and Y/N kick their guests out at eleven at night. It takes fifteen minutes for Soonyoung to get into the car, not yet wanting to stop the party. They still see him off, promising to party even harder next time. Jihoon wraps his arm around Y/N as they wave from the steps. The cool breeze of the summer nights sends a chill up Y/N’s spine. 

Jihoon pulls them into the house, locking the door behind him before he leads them to the bedroom. Y/N eagerly lays down, bones sore from socializing all day. 

“Ah, fuck.” Jihoon climbs onto the bed, legs straddling Y/N. He rests his weight on their thighs, caging them down. “I’ve only got forty-five minutes for birthday sex.” He laughs softly, leaning over Y/N to brush their hair out of their face. 

“Then you better get to work, love.” Y/N smiles softly, placing their hand over his. Their face burns as they start to feel their core throb. 

“What’d you want me to do baby? Whatever you want right now, I’m your man.” Jihoon places a soft kiss to their lips. 

“Whatever you feel like doing. I’m not picky, but this is nice. Just kiss me for a bit, but go slow. Want you to go slow.” Y/N’s speech starts to slur softly in the way it always does when they get aroused. Jihoon kisses them again, letting it linger for a second longer than normal. 

“Then I’m gonna take my time with you, ‘n show you how much I love you,” Jihoon rolls his hips down slightly onto Y/N, “Gonna make love to you tonight– fuck.” His words die in his throat as he sees the way Y/N is looking up at him. There's so much trust in their gaze. It makes Jihoon’s heart swell. 

Y/N seems to preen like a cat at the promise of making love. That was something they haven’t really had the chance to do since they started dating, almost four years into a relationship. “Please, Jihoon. Need you.” Y/N whispers, head falling back against the pillows as Jihoon brushes his hand over their neck. Their hands find the edge of his shirt, tugging at it softly. “Need this thing off too.” Jihoon removes his hand from the back of Y/N’s neck to grab his shirt and throw it off. 

He sits back up, weight pinning Y/N’s legs to the bed as he slowly pulls his shirt over his head. Y/N runs a hand over his chest, trailing a single finger down the pit of his abs. Jihoon shivers softly. “One last present for you to unwrap tonight.” He leans back over Y/N, hands sliding under their shirt. “What was that thing you wanted to try? I was thinking maybe we could try it tonight, as a gift.” Jihoon places a soft kiss on Y/N’s forehead, brushing the hair away from the area.

“Edging? You want me to edge you?” Y/N asks, sitting up as best they can with Jihoon’s weight on their legs. Their eyes are wide with slight shock. “You said you probably wouldn’t like it. We really don’t have to, Ji.” Jihoon smiles softly at the concern in their voice.

“If it’s too much or we’re not feeling it we’ll stop. Stoplight system okay?” He places another soft kiss on Y/N’s cheek, fingers threading through their hair.

“Mm, that’s fine.” Y/N sits up slightly to throw their shirt off. “No foreplay tonight. I’m really wet right now and I really need you inside.” Jihoon sighs dramatically. 

“I don’t even get to eat you out?” Y/N laughs softly, hand running over his hair. 

“I promise you can eat me out next time.” Y/N kisses his face, hands moving down to the button on his jeans. “You wanna get on the bed for me? It’ll be easier to do this if I ride you.” Jihoon groans, swearing. He never lasts long when Y/N’s on top. 

“Whatever you want, baby.” He uses his legs to flip both of them over, rolling onto his back. They both take a few seconds to quickly strip out of the remainder of their clothing. 

Jihoon’s cock throbs against his stomach. Y/N grabs it, giving him a few pumps before they straddle his lap. He can feel the heat from their core as they line him up to their entrance. 

Y/N sinks down slowly, exhaling a shallow moan as they clench around Jihoon’s cock. “Oh, fuck. Shit, maybe I should’ve let you eat me out.” Jihoon’s fairing no better, head thrown back against the pillows as his hands grip Y/N’s hips in a vice. 

“Maybe I still could.” He suggests, a breathy laugh falling past his big, pillowy lips. Y/N leans down to kiss him softly. 

“Next time. We’re already here.” Jihoon begins to pant softly, already verging on close as Y/N begins to speed up. “Fuck, I’m already close. The stretch is so… my god.” The small burn at Y/N’s entrance accentuates the pleasure building in their stomach. 

“Yeah, god, you’re so tight like this. Fuck, I think I might die if we do more than two rounds.” And while Jihoon isn’t posing a challenge, Y/N takes it as one. 

“Yeah? Then we’ll do four. Tell me when you're about to cum.” Y/N clenches around Jihoon, and he moans lowly, eyes fluttering shut as his grip tightens. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck. I’m right there.” Y/N pulls off Jihoon’s cock, hovering above it with their hands flattened to his chest. Jihoon whines softly, biting his lip to silence the louder sounds that threaten to escape his throat. “Holy shit.” He hisses. 

Y/N begins their ministries again, and it doesn’t take long for Jihoon to whine out that he’s close, before they pull off again. He whimpers softly, causing Y/N to brush the hair from his face in adoration. “‘M so sensitive, baby. Please let me cum.” He begs, and something about his tone has Y/N sitting back on his cock, moving faster, hitting deeper, before they cum around him, hips barely faulting their pace. 

The added lubricant only adds to the experience and Jihoon whines out his plea again, only to be denied once more. Y/N gives him a few seconds, watching the rise and fall of his chest as he catches his breath. Then they’re right back on him, ass slapping against his thighs, wet squelching noises filling the room and it’s too much, it’s so crude it makes Jihoon’s head hurt (both of them).

“Fuck, please, no more. Can’t– can’t take any more,” Jihoon whines, head falling back into the pillows. “Need to cum, fuck, wanna cum so bad baby. Fuck, I’m gonna–” Y/N pulls themself off his cock, hovering over his tip. He whimpers softly, before it's followed by an exasperated sigh of horny frustration. His grip on the sheets has his knuckles turning white.

“That's the last time, I promise baby.” Y/N carefully holds the side of his face, thumb stroking over his cheek to ground him. “Just breathe for me. C’mon, in and out.” Jihoon does as they say, forcing the promise of his orgasm away from his mind for the time being. 

Once he’s settled back down, he gives a small nod, craning his neck to look back up at Y/N. “Okay,” He exhales deeply, blowing the breath out through his lips, “I think I’m good.” That’s all Y/N needs before they sink back down onto his cock, walls fluttering as they suck him in.

Once again, it’s almost too intense. Jihoon’s teeth clamp down on his bottom lip as he whines softly. “Fuck, Y/N, god.” He pants, hands slipping from the sheets to grip their hips. “Love you so much; wanna spend the rest of my life with you.” He confesses, and while it’s probably the desire to cum, which is all he can think about right now, he’s talkative and his confession doesn’t slip past Y/N.

“Wanna spend the rest of my life with you too, Hoonie.” Y/N leans down to kiss him, their other hand holding his face so delicately it makes Jihoon’s head spin. He gasps softly into the kiss as the angle changes slightly. Y/N feels it too, how he’s reaching a little deeper, tip perfectly kissing their g-spot with every bounce.

“No, like,” Jihoon kisses Y/N again in an attempt to regain his train of thought, “ I wanna spend the rest of my life with you. Bought you a ring ‘n everything. Couldn’t– shit– couldn’t find the right time to do it, know you don’t like grand gestures so I didn’t plan anything special, fuck. Just thought I’d ask when the time is right. Marry me, please. Wanna marry you, see you walking down the aisle all dressed up for me. Wanna see you with a pretty ring on your finger, wanna match with you. Wanna take you on a nice honeymoon, maybe take you to Italy with me. Wanna love you and only you for the rest of my life, god, I want that more than anything. ‘M so in love with you, so so in love with you.” Tears had started to gather in his waterline. They slip past his long lashes, down his cheeks to the side of his face. Y/N stops moving, mouth open in slight shock.

Jihoon’s tears hit their fingers which are still delicately holding the sides of his face. “Jihoon?” Y/N’s voice is shaky. “Jihoon.” The second time is more firm when he doesn’t reply. 

“Hm?” He hums, locking eyes with his lover. 

“Did you seriously just propose to me while you’re balls deep inside of me?” The air in their voice makes it hard for Jihoon to hear their question with the blood rushing through his head, but he hears it.

“I… I did.” He laughs softly, head thrown back as a toothy smile spreads across his whole face. “Will you marry me?” He’s more coherent now, thoughts meeting each other halfway to form whole ones. One of his hands slips off of Y/N’s waist, before it’s digging around in the pillows for something. His fingers disappear for a second in the white case of the pillow, before they return with a small red velvet box. 

He flips it open with his thumb. A silver band embedded with small diamonds catches the light, shining into Y/N’s eyes. It’s beautiful, simple enough but clearly an engagement ring. It takes a few seconds for things to register before tears start falling down Y/N’s face as they nod excessively. 

“Yes, oh my god. Jihoon, yes, I’ll marry you.” Y/N’s hands fall from his face slowly. Jihoon grabs their left hand with his one that was positioned on their hips. He takes the ring out of the box, carefully slipping it onto their left ring finger. He kisses the skin of their knuckles, before kissing the ring directly. 

“Perfect fit.” Jihoon whispers. Y/N leans down to kiss him, fingers intertwining with his. The metal of the ring is still cold against Jihoon’s fingers. He moans softly, whether it’s from the way Y/N shifts on his cock, or from the feeling of an engagement ring on his lover's finger is up in the air. “I love you.” He pants softly against Y/N’s lips, before he grabs them with one arm around their waist and flips them onto the bed.

Y/N gasps softly as their back hits the bed, hand threading into Jihoon’s hair. The dark strands are so incredibly soft in between their fingers. Jihoon thrusts in slowly, face falling into the crook of Y/N’s neck. “I’m gonna make love to you now, jus’ like I said I would. Gonna take care of you now, gonna take care of you for the rest of my– the rest of our life.” His thrusts are slow and so incredibly deep. 

His hand never lets go of Y/N’s left one, completely in love with the metal band around their finger. 

Jihoon’s lips find Y/N’s neck. He places small kisses on the base of it, sucking softly, almost in time with each thrust. He won’t last long, and he knows he won’t, especially will all of the edging. But he still feels the need to take care of Y/N, to take as much time as his body will let him have like this. 

Soft whines slip past Y/N’s lips, fist tight in Jihoon’s hair. The pace is too much, so slow and deep, hitting all the right places with each thrust. “Ji, I can’t— fuck, too much.” Y/N gasps, as his tip brushes their sweet spot, lips working diligently to suck a deep bruise into the side of their neck. 

“Fuck, baby, ‘m so close.” Jihoon pants, lips ghosting over the dark bruise. “I’m not gonna last. You feel s’fucking good.” He’s definitely far past the point of being pussy drunk, bordering on inebriated. He pulls out, slamming back in as he loses the last bit of his self control. His pace quickens, but it still maintains the depth of his thrusts. 

He tries to kiss Y/N, but it falls flat when all he does is whine into their mouth. Y/N’s orgasm sweeps over them unexpectedly, walls fluttering around Jihoon’s cock as their release only helps Jihoon slide in deeper. The added lubricant mixes with his pre-cum, and he loses it completely. 

The way Y/N tightens as they ride out their orgasm, small sounds leaving their lips, it’s too much. He kisses them hard, lips moving in time with theirs the best he can manage. And then they clench around him again and it’s over. 

Jihoon cums hard, his vision going completely white as his body feels like it’s on fire. His cock is sensitive as he keeps thrusting, somehow going harder. He can’t seem to stop, not until he’s whimpering and whining, voice pitched nearly an octave higher than normal. His lips stop moving in time with Y/N’s as he just pants and whines into their mouth. 

Jihoon’s arms feel like jelly and he collapses on top of Y/N, still set on moving inside of them. For some reason, his cock will not seem to soften, even though it’s nearly painful. Y/N clenches again, still proceeding their own orgasm, as they pet his hair to try and calm him down. There’s no point in telling him to stop; he’s still hard and he’s still fucking them, though he seems to be slowing down slightly. 

An unexpected second orgasm sweeps over Jihoon, and it renders him completely spent. He stops moving, seems to stop breathing for a second. His cock twitches a few more times inside Y/N before it finally begins to soften. 

And then it’s quiet. Jihoon doesn’t move, or make a sound; all that can be heard is the shallow breaths leaving his mouth. Y/N finally manages to untangle their hand from his, moving it to rub his back in the same way he always does after they’re spent like this. Their other hand stays put in his hair, nails gently massaging his scalp as they wait for any indication that he’s not completely passed out. “You okay, baby?” Y/N whispers softly. The moment is so fragile; Jihoon hardly ever submits like this, and he’s never cum so hard in his life, let alone twice back to back. The feeling of his softening cock inside of them, and the almost inhuman amount of cum inside of Y/N starts to feel a bit uncomfortable. He doesn’t respond, just makes a small noise in acknowledgment. 

“Ji, come back to me. You’re okay.” Finally, he shifts to look up at Y/N, eyes fluttering open. He looks the same way he does after a good nap, tired. “I thought you might’ve blocked out for a second there. Do you need a minute?” Jihoon hums, laughing softly. 

“I think I did black out. Fuck.” Jihoon buries his head in Y/N’s chest, placing a soft kiss to the skin there. “Am I crushing you?” Y/N hums. 

“No, but I need you to pull out, love. I’m sticky.” Jihoon moves at a snail's pace as he carefully pulls out. He whimpers softly, cock incredibly sensitive. It twitches involuntarily as the tip slips out, and then his cum begins to leak out of Y/N’s spent hole. Y/N feels it seep out, shivering at the warmth. 

Jihoon settles his weight back on top of Y/N. He glances at the clock, which reads five minutes to twelve. “Happy birthday, my love. I hope you had a good day today.” He finds Y/N’s left hand, fingers immediately finding the ring. 

“Course, I did. I had a pretty boy and a happy birthday.” Y/N exhales softly in contentment. “I cannot believe you proposed to me during sex. That’s such a you thing to do.” Y/N laughs softly, free hand still rubbing his back. They can’t help but stare at the ring. 

“What do you mean?” He asks, voice slowly fading out with fatigue. 

“You’re a romantic, my love.” Y/N kisses the top of his head, hand trailing up his back to the base of his neck. “Let’s take a bath, okay? You need to relax.” Jihoon nods softly, carefully shifting his weight off Y/N. His cock rubs against their thigh, and he hisses softly. 

“Can you get it ready? I need a minute to regain feeling in my legs.” Jihoon laughs, hiding his face in embarrassment, though it doesn’t hide the tips of his ears which are beet red. 

“Of course, take all the time you need.” Jihoon’s chest swells again, completely enamoured by their patience with him. It never fails to assure him that this was the right person. The only person. His person. 

In the morning, the Seventeen group chat is what wakes Y/N up. Jihoon’s phone won’t stop going off; a product of the photo he sent before he put it on do not disturb. Jihoon stirs softly, arms tightening around Y/N’s waist. “Let them talk, just give me a few more minutes of this.” He murmurs into the back of their neck. 

“I’ll give you all the time in the world, my dear.” Jihoon’s hand finds Y/N’s again, before he presses a soft kiss to their ring finger.

a/n: oh boy. hope that was,,, enjoyable. also if I start an official tag list for fics would anyone join??? sorry that this is late. my bday was a week ago LOLLLL.

[rubywithecat]

—— Being poccessive ——

Hello! It’s been a while since I write but I am always active here, reading other writers’<3 I am like having a really important academic year which is gonna end in next three months finally! But as I just get to watch new season of jjk I’m like wanting to write so much once again. I hope u guys will enjoy this as well <3 Thanks loves ily^^

T/W: Minors do not interact. Mature content included.

Gojo Satoru: (Jealous type)

He’s always jealous when someone has given u unnecessary attention. Even tho you are talking to your classmate long enough, if it’s a guy, Gojo would act so jelaous about it. He would give silent treatment and is the type to drive his car in speed when he’s mad at you. You would just grab the handle tightly and beg him to speed down. At home, he would be aggressive with you when he’s jealous. He would pushed you to bed and tears your clothes down and kiss you, leaving bite marks all over your neck where it’s seen. And he would fck you (don’t expect to me gentle;) and cum inside you. “Say that you’re mine” he would kiss your lips till it sore to make others realize that you are his only.

Megumi Fushiguro (I don’t care but I actually do care type)

He won’t get jealous in small cases. But if someone show interest in you noticeably, he will give a death glare to them. He would grab your waist tightly, holding you closer. You would tease him if he’s jealous and he would just deny it, feeling embarrassed. If you give him a little kiss on his cheek, he will blush and can’t help but smile. After he made other guy excuse himself, he would hold your hand tightly and walk togther, making everyone knows that you are his and proud about that. He wouldn’t also hesitate to do a huge make out session once u are alone with him, having your lip stains on his cheeks.

Toji Fushiguro (Obey me type)

He wouldn’t straightforward say that but he would look at you with resting face. It’s so scary so u would excuse urself and go to him. “What’s wrong babe” you asked him, giving puppy eyes. He looks down and frowned. He grabs your hips with his big hands and squeezes it, making u a small “ahh” He smirked and whispered. “Tell them that only I can make u feel this good, brat” He would continue to tease u by touching ur sensitive spots and make u moan helplessly. When ur begging so much, he would say like “if you behave next time, I will give what u want. Ok?” U nodded cuz u can’t speak as his hands are chocking ur neck already as he fingers you and then he would take u to somewhere more private, likely to his car and fcks u right there and makes u can’t speak other than his name.

Sukuna Ryomen (You’re dead type)

U are realy dead if he sees u being friendly to a guy he doesn’t have good feeling about with. He would pull your hand and dragged u with him without saying anything. And he would pushed u to the bed when u arrive him and he would start to tease u and turn u on. When u think he’s gonna fck u, and ur waiting for it, being ready. He would laugh and put his clothes on. “Look at u being so needy Awwn” he would say in mocking voice. “Too bad I don’t have a mood right now” he would leave u hanging. Later enough torturing u, not giving what u want, he would make u phone the guy who’s previously flirting with u and make u talk with him about unfinished work interrupted by him earlier and he would fck u aggressively behind, making them hear sounds on purpose. After finishing, he would grab your phone and take the call himself and tell the guy like “I’m sorry kid but only I can fck her like this so don’t ever even fantasize her in ur dream or else I would slice u in pieces. Do u understand?” He then ended the call and tell u like “next round?”, smirking.

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(Likes and shares would be really appreciated <3 Feel free to share ur thoughts and request are also open now) Thanks<33 Sry if it’s short! I will make up for it later <33

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[taintedcigs]

GETAWAY CAR — rockstar!e.m. x f!reader

CHAPTER SIX: ALL TOMORROW'S PARTIES

← prev chapter // next chapter →

✦ summary: in which the truth about steve's party is revealed and eddie leaves reader another note (wc: 8.6k+)

✦ warnings — angst, ANGST, arguments, FIST FIGHT?!?, HUGE WARNING FOR BRUISES AND AN ABSIVE RELATIONSHIP!!!, mention of bruises, mention of shoving someone, BILLY IS ABSIVE, if this content makes you uncomfortable lmk so i can make a summary of it, or just skip the flash back (but its like half of the chapter>:() chrissy is horrible, BILLY is even more horrible, chrissy says some classist shit!!, eddie and p are an old married couple, drinking, smoking/weed

✦ pairings — rockstar!eddie munson x fem!reader, past billy hargrove x fem!reader

✦ authors note — @andvys ily thank u for always being so helpful w everything i hope u like this chapter bb!! not proof-read srry ignore mistakes !! and as i said this is a heavy chapter so lmk if any of u need a summary on the flashback. and im so sorry for making chrissy such a villain i actually rlly love her characterr >:(

anyway ily all pls interact + like + reblog to support me! i'd also LOVE LOVE to chat about anything abt this series it literally is my baby!! pls dont hesitate to send me an ask about anything mwah thank you for reading💗

series masterlist | series playlist

FIVE YEARS AGO.STEVE’S PARTY.

Twenty minutes.  You’ve been waiting in line for the bathroom at Steve’s stupid party for the last twenty minutes. Even plenty of people ahead of you had frustratedly groaned and left by now. But you weren’t going to give up that easy. 

A muffled string of curses filtered through the door before she turned the lock. The door creaked open slightly, revealing a glimpse of Chrissy's face.  She gave you a slight smile, and cluelessly, your face lit up. “Oh, thank god! Can you please let me in, I left my jacket in there.” You giggled, words tangled to each other as you made a clumsy attempt to slip past her, but she closed the door further.

With furrowed brows, you looked up at her. “Uh, I’m busy in here,” She giggled nervously, head tilting towards the side. “Oh,” You murmured.

“OH!” The realization was slow to hit you. She was with someone. You started grinning childishly. “Who’s the lucky guy?” You quipped your brows excitedly, causing Chrissy to stammer. 

You tried to pry open the door, brows still wiggling but Chrissy didn’t let you, mumbling something about being embarrassed. “Oh, come on, Chrissy…” You murmured, still grappling with her to open the door. 

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about—” you began with a childlike giggle, attempting to open the door even wider. 

Your giggles were quick to die down when the door fell open, no words dared to come out of your lips as you finally saw who Chrissy was with.  Billy.  Soberness overcame you just at the sight of Billy’s disheveled hair, and Chrissy’s swollen plump lips. 

Your best friend and your boyfriend. 

Your eyes blinked rapidly, desperately wishing it was all a hallucination. The reality of the situation was slow to hit you, your vision blurred uncontrollably, throat tightening, and causing you to feel stuck, almost paralyzed. 

With a gulp, you were quick to take a step back, ignoring them calling your name as you turned back, forgetting all about the jacket you were supposed to get back when your legs felt so wobbly. You could hear the chatter outside the door get louder, everyone else taking a peak at what just happened. The whispers and gasps of everyone around you felt like mocking echoes.

You didn’t even know what to feel first. Anger? Jealousy? Sadness? Embarrassment?

It was a mix of all four and your chest hurts, tears welled up in your eyes, burning down your cheeks as your breaths came in shallow gasps, you couldn’t make any sense of it, and you couldn’t fucking understand it. 

You felt it, felt betrayal like a physical sensation, like there was a void in your chest. And you could sense that Billy was running after you, trying to catch up to you, but you resisted the temptation to slow down, your anger acting as a protective shield. 

“Baby, I swear nothing happened.” He exclaimed, desperation lacing his voice. Your eyes rolled instinctively, head tuning out the words that were too little, too late.

“Please, just listen to me she kissed me I didn’t! I tried to push her off—” You shouldn’t turn around, you definitely shouldn’t turn around and give him that satisfaction. 

But you do.

“For twenty minutes?!? You tried to push her off for twenty fucking minutes?” You yell back bitterly.

“It isn’t what you think, please just let me explain!” 

“Twenty fucking minutes, Billy!” You spat, pain quick to turn into anger. “Do you really think I’m that dumb?” Your fingers discarded your hair in anger, everything you knew to be true wasn’t anymore. 

You knew what you had with Billy was fucked up, it wasn’t a normal nor a healthy relationship, but it was familiar and you were used to it, used to him. A relationship with this many ups and downs became your version of normalcy, even though it shouldn’t have. 

No matter what happened, you thought he loved you, all those promises he whispered into your ear while you slept comfortably on his chest, all the times he murmured that he loved you, that he could never imagine being with anyone else, a whole fucking lie. 

And it hurt. 

Because you knew how hard it would be to walk away from this. You knew you couldn’t break away from him. You needed something to desperately pull you away. Show you that you deserved better than this.

No one would love you more than he did. He told you that a thousand times because it was true. He would do anything and everything for you. And you didn’t know why that enticed you, why being in such a fucked up situation hurt you in the best way possible, like an intoxicating yet destructive obsession.

And anyway, why would anyone even love you? You were a mess, a fuck up, nothing you did ever amounted to anything, and you knew that, you knew you were destined to be this way, to be with someone who constantly hurt you. Nothing you could do would be enough to get you out of the mess that was your mind.  

“I would never do that to you, never.” His eyes were glossy, mirroring yours, you could tell when he lied to you, and this wasn’t one of those times. And you hated that your gaze softened with that because you wanted to believe him. 

You knew he was flirty, you knew that the second you started dating Billy; from the countless times he flirted with the waitress when he took you to dinner, how he always got a little too close with the female lifeguards, how he charmed all the moms in Hawkins with a slight wink, it was a script you knew all too well. And you kept your mouth shut, tolerated it, only because he always brushed it off as nothing. 

You didn’t mind it because he loved you, he told you he did, and you believed him. The countless arguments, the accidental bruises, name-callings, punches in the wall, you forgave it all. Because he loved you, he told you that love made him this way, it made him this insane and angry. And you let him make you believe that his erratic behavior was love, until today. 

Because this was different, this was Chrissy. Your supposed best friend. Yes, Billy probably didn’t start making out with her, but he surely wasn’t eager to finish it either. 

The betrayal cut deeper than any argument or bruise; it was a wound inflicted by the two people you believed loved you unconditionally.

You let out a sarcastic chuckle, arms crossing against your chest as you could feel your face burn up with anger, tears drying out. “You are something else,” you uttered, disappointment and resentment flavoring your words.

“I don’t want to ever see you again, Billy, and I fucking mean it.” 

“Calm down,” he whispered, a feeble attempt to pacify you. 

“No! I am not going to fucking ‘calm down’. You—you fucking cheated on me w-with Chrissy!” Your voice wavered, and you hated it, your anger wasn’t powerful enough to wash away the pain you felt, and tears were stinging your eyes again. 

“Jesus how many times do I have to tell you she fucking kissed me! I-I didn’t fuckin’ cheat!” He defended but you shook your head.  “And, anyway, didn’t you fucking kiss that freak?” 

A lump formed in your throat, a bitter taste accompanying the memory. Yes, you did. But it was after one of your infamous breaks with Billy, the two of you were broken up. Eddie and you promised each other that it was nothing, that it would just complicate things between the two of you. And you knew, if Billy ever found out about it, he would not leave it alone, he wouldn’t let you hang out with him. He would mess with him till no end. And you didn’t want Eddie involved in it. Ever.

“I told you we didn’t!” You lied through your teeth, it didn’t matter now. What you did could never compare to what he fucking did. Ever. But you were starting to realize that maybe, just maybe, Chrissy spreading that rumor was not an accident, at all. 

Anger simmered, building like a storm inside you. “Don’t try to shift the blame on me, you fucking kissed her!” 

“I didn’t—”

“Did you not fucking kiss her back you asshole?” You interrupted, the surge of anger propelling you forward. Your hands found his shoulders, pushing him roughly.  Billy stammered, opening his mouth to speak. “I-I only for like a minute, then I fuckin’ pulled away, I swear!” He defended himself, making you huff angrily.

“It’s over, Billy.” You muttered, gaze meeting his. 

“I mean it.” You added, his sympathetic gaze was quick to turn cold, and it made you feel uneasy, how comfortable he was going from gentle to rough so quickly. 

His lips twisted into a cynical skepticism, “for how long this time? Eight hours? Two fucking days? A week?” There was that lump in your throat again. Billy didn’t believe that you could leave him, and you felt that tight, unexplainable feeling sink into your chest, he thought you’d stay with him no matter what, like a fucking object that he could do whatever he wants to. It’s sickeningly insulting, your hand raises to slap him, but he’s faster. 

“I don’t think so, sweetheart.” His harsh grip on your wrist hurts, but what hurts more is the fresh bruise he left on your forearm two days ago, another fight that got too grabby. 

“L-let me go,” you embarrassingly begged, wincing at his relentless grip. Your face scrunched with pain, eyes squeezing shut. The tenderness of the bruise made the slightest touch unbearable.

His hand twisted your wrist further, harsh hold squeezing more tears out of you than you realized. “B-billy,” you begged, again. Only then, Billy noticed your discomfort, swallowing hard before reluctantly releasing your arm. An emptiness replaced his hold, and your vision blurred as you tried to reassure yourself, fingertips gently tracing the purplish bruise.

“D-does forever work?” It comes out as a whisper, words tangling to each other when you recollect yourself from him, still trying to find the broken pieces he scattered, leaving without another word. 

And he didn’t bother to run after you, watching your figure leave while guilt set in, the sight of that purple blotch on your arm, how you flinched at any contact, the way you closed up during arguments, it was all because of him. All because he couldn’t fucking help himself; his anger or his need for control. 

He doesn’t escape the cycle. 

A sigh of relief escaped your lips as you walked away, tears streaming down your face. Your hands shook as you wiped them away, the weight of everything breaking free in a flood of sobs.

You immediately make your way to the drink stand, praying to whatever god there is that no one else can perceive you for the rest of the night so that you can drown in your sorrows and drink all of it away. 

You barely registered Chrissy approaching you between sobs and the harsh scoop of the 'pure fire,' as Steve called it, into the red cup clutched in your fists. “Can I talk to you?” Her voice, when it finally reached your ears, felt mocking, and carried a giddy undertone that enraged you more and more. 

“No,” you scoffed, refusing to entertain the idea, turning your attention back to the sorrowful task of filling your cup.

“Come on, take a chill pill,” she attempted to joke, her usual signature line falling flat. Your glare, sharp as the knives you felt in your back, met her with anger. She huffed a sigh of breath. 

“Please I’m sorry, just let me talk—”

“What the fuck do you want to talk about, huh?” You set the cup down harshly, the impact of it had the drink sloshing all over the surface, “the fact that you tried to kiss my boyfriend?” you interrupted with a spiteful look.

Her wavering sympathy dissipated at your accusation, eyes turning cold as she furrowed her brows. “What?” she hissed. “Tried? Is that what he told you?” She scoffed.

Your face scrunched. “I wouldn’t put it past you.” You spat back, you didn’t care if your words hurt her in the slightest, your thoughts were purely consumed by her betrayal. 

 “Excuse me?” Chrissy’s eyes narrowed.

“Jesus, Pinky are you really that fucking gullible?” She asked tilting her head almost mockingly. 

“Or do you really think that highly of yourself?” Your mouth struggled to open, heart dropped to your stomach when you realized she didn’t even care.

“We were in that bathroom for twenty minutes, use your imagination.” That goddamn smirk curved on her lips, and you knew you have never felt this amount of pain before, it was insulting, to ever think you called her your friend. 

“Oh, you are such a fucking-” You could feel your blood boiling, almost ready to attack her, your drunken haze giving you enough courage. 

But her annoying tone interrupted you, “Did you really think you were perfect? That you were enough for Billy?” 

“What did you think? That he would want a fucking charity case like you?” The tears pooled your eyes again, but you weren’t going to let her see it, so you held them in, clenching your fists as your breath caught in your throat. All of her insults became a deafening background noise to your ears. “Newsflash, Pinky you have junkies for parents. You’re too messed up. Even for Billy.” 

The heat rushed to your cheeks at the last insult, earning a visceral reaction because of how cruel she was. Disgust and anger overtook your senses quicker than you intended them to, you felt small, and so fucking stupid. 

Regret gnawed at you – You should’ve never let her in. You should’ve never let her comfort you. You should’ve never told her anything. It was all your fucking fault. For trusting anyone that came in your way. 

Just because you wanted to feel loved, just because you wanted to fill that void that your parents left. And it was so ironic, considering they couldn’t give two shits about you, yet your deepest wound would always be them. 

“You’re so fucking pathetic, Chrissy.” You spat, masking all of your emotions. You had mastered it at this point. You didn’t care what she said about you, she could keep her mouth running, because she was dead to you. Maybe you could’ve forgiven her for the whole Billy thing because fuck him too, he was no saint, right? 

But making fun of your parents was one line she couldn’t cross. 

“You’re more fit for that trailer trash freak.” Scratch that. Making fun of Eddie was one line she couldn’t fucking cross. Eddie. She couldn’t breathe near him if she wanted to, she didn’t deserve it. 

Your teeth grounded together, and fury fueled your rise to your feet. “Don’t ever call him that again.” The words slipped between gritted teeth, the realization of how close you had walked to her only dawned as you unintentionally cornered her.

She looked taken aback, brows pinched together. “What are you gonna do? Go all trailer trash on me too?” She chuckled, annoyingly loud.

You shouldn’t. You fucking shouldn’t. 

But she also shouldn’t have insulted Eddie. 

You are ready to lunge at her, feet planted closer as your hands are formed as fists at your side, and just as you’re about to take another step, a harsh arm yanked you away. Seconds away from getting that satisfaction, and just like that, you’re ripped away from it.

“What the—” You turned swiftly to see the culprit, as you harshly shook off the hold on you, your bruises still hurt, causing loud whines to part from your lips. Steve. Chrissy was back in your face, mocking laughter dancing in her eyes. “God, you’re predictable.” The laughter stung, and the pressure of your anger almost built up in your jaw. “Fuck you, you stupid—” You try again. No luck. Of course, Steve, with an unyielding grip, dragged you away.

Chrissy walked past, reveling in the scorned look etched on your face. She paused, turning with a smirk. “Oh, and next time you get a ‘freak accident’, make sure you don’t forget your jacket.” She pointed toward the fresh bruise on your forearm, courtesy to Billy who grabbed you a little too hard during another heated argument. Then she threw the jacket right next to you, on the floor landing with a mocking thud as she left with an irritating cackle. 

Impressively, Steve picked it up while maintaining his hold on you. “Let me go!” Your almost-scream echoed, his hands were unintentionally grazing the tender bruise, and it fucking hurt.

Only when he knew Chrissy was out of sight did he release his grip, and you shook him off with an exasperated huff. “What the fuck?!?” You questioned, gaze burning with fury. “Right back at you, what the fuck was that, Pinky?” He asked, tone more concerned than angry.  “Nothing,” you muttered. It was such an obvious lie that Steve rolled his eyes. “That won’t work with me.”

In a defiant move, you grabbed the drink, aiming to drown the tension, but Steve intercepted, harshly putting it back down. A glare shot his way. “Will you leave me alone?” “No.” He protested with a pinch of his brows. “So, tell me.”  “Steve,” you whined. You didn’t want to be interrogated by him, you knew he cared. But you just couldn’t handle it.  “I’m serious, you do realize this is my house, right?” His tone carried a veiled threat and you rolled your eyes at him. “I could kick you out any time I wanted to.” Your gaze narrowed, disbelief etched across your face. "You wouldn’t do shit." With a raise of his brows, Steve swiftly picked you up, slinging you over his shoulders. It all happened so fast that you weren’t quick to start softly punching his back and screaming.  God, he really was good at distracting you, so good that his little act almost coaxed a reluctant smile from your lips.  “Put me down!” You yelled behind him, your fists landed on his back with a not-so-impactful force. 

“Are you gonna tell me?” Steve asked, relishing the way you continued to thrash over his shoulder. Your face grew hotter every second, and with an annoyed huff, you finally nodded. “Yes, Jesus Christ!”

He gently lowered you to the ground, and a teasing glint danced in Steve's eyes as he quipped, "Atta girl." You responded with a scoff and a mock annoyed chuckle.

“So?” He questioned, arms crossing against his chest, his demeanor shifted,  the playful atmosphere dissipating as his expression turned serious.  “I caught Chrissy and Billy in the bathroom.”  “What?” Genuine shock washed over Steve's features, his eyes widening in disbelief. “Yeah I—” “And she still had the nerve to say all those fucking things?” Embarrassment surged, fluttering your cheeks hot. “You, uh, you heard those?” Steve responded with a quick nod.

“Don’t be embarrassed, Pinky, not with me.” He reassured you, his hand finding a comforting place on your waist, “she's the one who should be fuckin’ embarrassed. Jesus.”

“Thought she was supposed to be your friend,” Steve said, his gaze softening with empathy.

“Me too.” A sad chuckle escaped your lips.

His gaze lingered on the gnarly bruises decorating your arm, a visible wince reflecting in his expression. "And what about those?" he gulped, concern etching lines on his face.

You were quick to dismiss it with a wave, too quickly that of fucking course Steve knew something was wrong, you didn’t even dare to look at the bruises, or him in the eyes. 

“Bike accident,” you muttered, lying through your teeth.

"Since when do you have a bike?" Steve questioned and gauged your reaction, he knew you were lying, you were avoiding his gaze, and you looked visibly nervous, but he didn’t want to push this. It was too personal, and this wasn’t the place for it.  So, he understood, of course, he did. He or Nancy should’ve been the one you confided in. But you didn’t want to burden them with your problems.

“If—” Steve took a deep breath, choosing his words carefully. “If you ever need to talk about anything—and I mean anything—you can always talk to me. Hell, us! You can always talk to us, you know that, right?” His hand was quick to caress your back, gently, letting you know that he would always be there.

You nodded, but you wanted this pity party to be over, you wanted—needed Eddie. Just one hug from him. And maybe a joint.

“I-I know, thank you.” You hesitantly replied, stumbling over your words.

“You need anything?” He asked sincerely.

You shook your head softly. “No… but have you seen Eddie?” 

“He was selling to some idiots on the porch, might still be there.” He shrugged.

You were quick to nod, you had to leave, immediately. You didn’t want to worry Steve. “Thanks, Stevie, see you around?” You hummed, managing a smile that he mirrored.

And with that you were quick to grab your drink, downing it with a hiss before you almost ran to the porch, you didn’t want to see Billy or Chrissy again. You needed to find Eddie. And god, was it hot, you didn’t know if it was because of everything that transpired in the last twenty minutes, or it was because of the alcohol flowing in your system but you were burning up. And you didn’t want to wear your jacket. You should have.

A harsh breeze of air hit you once you finally stepped on the porch, fresh yet biting, serving as a slap of reality that had your eyes watering, you didn’t know why, you didn’t know how, but the tears came immediately.  It was pathetic, really. You with the bruises, half-drunk, discovering your friend with your boyfriend, breaking up with your boyfriend, and then earning insults from the said friend who was hooking up with your boyfriend.  A rollercoaster of a fucking night, but it was just getting started.  Slouching on the porch stairs, your head hung low to your knees as you covered your face with shame, almost. Mind reeling in the worst way possible. 

The insults stuck to it, Chrissy’s plump lips, Billy’s disheveled hair. His harsh grip on your arm. The way he mocked you. The insults Chrissy uttered. It was all a fucking mess. And you couldn’t handle any more of it. 

All the emotions you pent up over the years wanted to flow through your eyes, ruining you, completely breaking you apart. 

The red cup in your hand was crumpled roughly, each attempt to stifle your cries only intensified the shaking of the cup, spilling over to the stairs. 

Where was he? 

Where was Eddie? 

Your mind was spinning and the only thing you could think of was him. 

“Pinky?” The soft tone of his voice sliced through the tumult in your mind, and your head snapped up, eyes immediately watered at the sight.

There he stood, a boyish grin adorning his face, shaggy bangs falling over his amber eyes, a stupid leather jacket, and those stupid black jeans with chains attached to the hip. Him.

“Finally! Been lookin’ everywhere for you, sweetheart,” His voice wrapped around you like a reassuring embrace, but your foggy mind took a while for everything to register. When it did, you shot up, the world spinning dizzily, as you threw yourself into his arms. Sobs escaped freely, muffled against his jacket. 

His voice immediately softened, gentle hands running through your hair as he cooed. “Hey.. hey… what happened?” His tone so sweetly sick that you couldn’t help but melt into him, letting his warmth take over. 

Your breath caught up in your throat, and Eddie gently pulled away from the hug. Soft hands cupped your tear-streaked cheeks, grounding you with a simple touch. You gave into him, succumbing to his tenderness. 

This was what you needed. And it was almost as clear as day. It should’ve always been him. 

"I-I-" Your words stumbled over your sobs, the weight on your chest making it hard to breathe. Eddie's concerned eyes met yours, wiping away the tears on your cheek gently. 

“Honey, hey, hey…” He caught your attention, his soothing voice breaking through the haze. His brows furrowed with worry, and you blinked open your eyes, focusing on him. "Breathe, can you do that for me, sweetheart?" Like a lifeline, his words pulled you back from the edge. Concern etched on his face, apparent from his brows creasing.

What the fuck happened? And who fucking did this to you?

Eddie had a good idea who did it: Billy. The very thought of that name sent a surge of anger through his veins. Hadn't this asshole put you through enough already? What could he have fucking done now?

You drew in a shuddering breath, and Eddie, recognizing your struggle, encouraged you while soothingly caressing your hair, calming you down further and further.

"Deep breaths, just like that. Breathe for me," he coaxed, and you obediently followed, shallow breaths gradually returning to normal as you focused on him.

His touch was gentle, hands still caressing your cheeks as he asked with genuine concern, "Are you doing okay now?" He asked, gaze mellow and lips overturned with worry

You nodded, but it wasn't convincing enough for him. As your hiccups persisted, you finally managed to articulate through the tears, "Chrissy."

Eddie's heart tightened, a quizzical look on his face. Chrissy? What did she have to do with this?

"Billy hooked up with Chrissy," you revealed, it was the most clear you had spoken to him and he still had a hard time understanding it.  

His brows pinched together both in anger and confusion, his hold on you faltering once he registered your words.

So, Billy cheated on you? 

Oh, now he was going to kill that bastard. Once he made sure you were okay, he was going to beat the shit out of him. 

"What?" he exclaimed a little too loudly, his hold on you momentarily faltering in sheer shock.

"They—what?" he stammered.

"I caught them in the bathroom, Eddie, I—" Your tears blurred your vision again, and in frustration, you ran your hand through your hair. 

That's when Eddie's eyes widened, and he pointed to something, asking, "What's that?"

You froze, desperately attempting to dismiss it, but Eddie wasn't having it. His hands gently flew to your forearm, and you flinched just in time, hastily trying to put on the jacket you should've already been wearing. Stupid, stupid, stupid. 

Now he was going to ask so many questions, and you knew he wouldn’t let go like Steve did, and he would know if you lied, in a heartbeat. 

He huffed quickly, ignoring your protests as he softly held onto your arm, just around the bruise, being careful not to cause any more pain. Your lip trembled in the process. Shit, shit, shit. 

“Pinky…” he murmured, worry creasing his brows at the royal purple mark.

If Eddie knew, there was no turning back, there was no way he wouldn’t make a big deal out of it. A part of you was happy about it—maybe he could pull you away, maybe everything would be okay. 

But the other part of you was terrified. Because you know he wouldn’t think of your bruises as nothing like you did and like Billy kept assuring you, he wouldn’t just let this go like you would. He would stand up for you, and while you were grateful, you were equally scared. 

“N-nothing,” you muttered, avoiding his intense gaze. 

“That’s not nothing,” his hand extended, slowly but surely making you reveal the full extent of the huge, gnarly bruise on your arm, with another one freshly forming from the hold Billy had on you earlier. Fuck.

“Holy shit,” he muttered, trying to avoid the genuine gasp waiting to escape his lips, “What happened?” His gaze found yours. 

“Bike accident,” you lied through your teeth, a stupid fucking lie. He would never buy it.

“You don’t have a bike.” He heaved a sigh of breath, the thought of these bruises forming because of Billy didn’t even form his mind, sure he was awful and an asshole, but Eddie never thought he would be that awful. 

“I used Mike’s.” Another lie. 

“Did something bad happen?”

“No!”

“Pinky,” he said it so seriously that you felt bad.  “Tell me, please.” His tone was awfully worrying. 

How the fuck were you going to tell him?

“We were arguing—”

“What?” He quickly snapped back, not at you, but at what you were implying. He could almost feel the color draining from his cheeks. You surely didn’t mean…

“It-it was nothing!” You defended with a dismissive wave, but it didn’t stop his eyes widening. “We just- we were just arguing, and-and then he tried to hold me but i-it was just a little tight!” 

“H-he did this to you?” Eddie’s jaw clenched in an instant, and he tried his best not to react, trying not to show you how he could feel his blood practically boiling, you’d been through enough, you didn’t need to deal with calming him down now, too. 

“No, no, it was just a little accident. It doesn’t matter!” 

“Yes, it fucking does!”

“No, it doesn’t!” Frustrated, you spat back, a bit of your pent-up anger lashing out at Eddie.

“I’m going to kill that asshole,” He scowled, rising to his feet, eyes spitting fire and you were quick to have a strong hold on his arm. “N-no! Please.” You whispered, the desperation in your voice slicing through the tension. Your touch brings him back to the present, reminding him that you matter more than his impulsive reactions.

Eddie stopped with a sigh of breath, gaze returning to you, and you nervously licked your lips fingers combing through your hair to gather your thoughts. “Look, Eddie, I-I just needed to see you, I just needed to feel normal for a moment, please, not now.” Your gaze was sympathetic, you looked so hurt that Eddie’s brows scrunched in pain.

He opened his mouth, about to speak, about to tell you that he could protect you, but your brows furrowed, and that teary-eyed look returned on your face. “Please,” Desperate, tugging on his arm, and he had no choice but to nod. He could deal with this later. 

“O-okay,” he muttered, meekly, swallowing the lump in his throat. His stomach churned in pain and anger when he realized that bastard actually fucking hurt you. And you really thought it was all okay…

“What do you need, honey?” Sickeningly sweet tone was back again, and it warmed you up, removing the coldness that sat on your chest. 

“A hug…” You muttered, “and maybe a joint.” 

That brought an unintentional grin to both of your faces. “C’mere.” He whispered, arms quick to wrap around you, holding you close. The subtle sway of his body rocked you in the promise that you were not alone, his gaze filled with concern and you couldn’t help but melt into him when he pressed a kiss onto your hair. 

Too engulfed, too distracted to realize someone almost sprinting toward the two of you. Before you could process the approaching figure, a voice cut through the air, sharp and accusatory. “You didn’t kiss him? Bullshit!”

Confusion etched across your face as Eddie's protective arms tightened around you. “What the hell are you—” 

Billy, possibly fueled by alcohol, swaggered toward you both with an air of aggression.  “Stay the fuck away from my girlfriend.”

The scent of alcohol wafted from Billy, and Eddie’s unbridled rage was now on the surface, he wore a scowl, eyes daggering through Billy. His hand protectively remained on your hips, gently pulling you aside. You tried to look at him, silently pleaded that you didn’t want this, that you didn’t need him to do this. But it was no fucking use. 

“She’s not your fucking girlfriend, dipshit.” 

“Stay the fuck out of this, freak.” He ignored Eddie, rage now full on display as he fully turned toward you.

“What, you gonna deny it, or no?” Caught in a crossfire, you felt a surge of panic, and just as you were about to speak, Eddie did it for you. 

“No, she’s not gonna fuckin’ deny it.” Your eyes widened, blinking rapidly to process what Eddie just confessed to.

“Eddie—” You tried but again, no use, Eddie took a step closer to him.

“We did kiss.” A smirk played on his lips, he was doing it on purpose, he wanted to get Billy to punch him. 

“I fucking kissed her, asshole.” Shit, you internally cursed at him.

The tension thickened, you could see it in the ticking jaw and bulging vein on Billy's neck. He moved forward, poised to strike at Eddie. “You have the nerve you fuckin’ freak!” He stepped forward, attempting to get at him. 

You acted quick, acting as a shield to Eddie, you didn’t care, you couldn’t let him get hurt because of you. You couldn’t handle that. 

“Billy, don’t!” Your desperate plea was drowned out by the pounding music and the escalating chaos. Despite your efforts, Billy's aggression only intensified. A forceful push sent you sprawling to the unforgiving ground. Tiny rocks bit into your palms, and your knees scraped against the abrasive cement.

The impact on the ground sent a shockwave of pain through your body, a groan escaping your lips at the pain. Your world spun harder, you didn’t even know what to focus on first; the throbbing bruise on your cheek, Billy's kiss with Chrissy, the haze of your drunkenness, or the startling fact that Billy had pushed you to the ground. All of it made you dizzy.

You could barely blink when Eddie knocked Billy out cold, with three well-aimed punches, lunging at him the moment he laid hands on you, your gaze narrowed to make sure you saw it correctly. 

Eddie was fine. Eddie was okay. 

“Sweetheart, oh my god.” Eddie's voice cut through the haze, his worried tone a soothing balm. With a gentle scoop, he lifted you to your feet. 

You didn’t want to be there when Billy woke up, some drunk idiot could help him. Or Chrissy would, for all you cared. And as if Eddie understood you, he quickly helped you move away from the scene, guiding you towards the row of parked cars, away from everything.

Once you were at a safer distance, Eddie tried to hold you, face etched in concern, as he ventured to ask, “You doing okay?”

The scowl you wore was anything but, “Why did you do that?!?” The words spat from your lips surprised him.

“Excuse me?” Eddie responded, his brow furrowing in confusion.

“Yo-you shouldn’t have told him!” Worry was etched all over your face, Eddie didn’t realize the consequences of what he did would have, but you did, oh, you did. 

“D-do you realize what you just fucking did?” You wanted to cry, or you were already crying, you couldn’t tell when your cheeks were wet already. 

“I—”

You interrupted him. “I-I don’t need this, I don’t need you to protect me.”

“I didn’t mean to make you upset—”

“I’m not upset!” Your scowl deepened, face flushed with frustration. 

He tried to reach closer, tried to help you but you refused. “Don’t- just don’t!” 

“I-I don’t need to be saved or protected, okay?” Your lips wobbled, “just l-leave me alone, Eddie.” 

“What?” His face fell, lips downturned, as he struggled to comprehend your sudden detachment.

“Leave me alone, I-I can take care of myself!” You begged, but that anger sank on your chest, it made you bitter, made you want to close up entirely.

“How the fuck am I supposed to do that?” He spat, hands ruffling through his hair in anger. He took a step closer to you, stomach churning with the need to hold you.

“Pinky don’t you fucking see it? I care about you, you’re the only thing I care about in this goddamn world! How the fuck do you expect me to leave when you’re hurt?” His voice cracked, and your gaze softened with it.

“How do you expect me to not beat the shit out of that fucking asshole for doing that to you?” The raw emotion in his voice was enough to pierce through your defenses, making your heartache.

“I get it, I get that you’re tough, but shit—”

“I can’t just sit and watch you get hurt… I can’t.” The truth in his words hung heavy in the air, it was almost like a shift between the two of you, like the barrier finally dissipating, so that the true feelings would prevail. 

Yet, despite that you pushed back, your own stubbornness overtaking you. “But I want you to leave me alone!” 

You knew your words were nothing but a lie, you needed someone, him specifically. Sure, you had always been tough, but this? This was too much. And you knew he was the only one who could make you feel better, yet like an idiot, you pushed him away. That’s all you were good at, wasn’t it?

Your tears came back when you saw his face, defeated, all because of you. He didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve you. He deserved better, he shouldn’t be roped up in this mess. You had to push him away, you fucking had to. 

He didn’t do anything but look at you. Really, really looked at you. 

And you looked a mess, hair disheveled, mascara running down your cheeks, bruises on your arm, knees scrapped, lip wobbling, and you could barely stand. The worst possible condition he saw you in. 

He knew what you were doing, you were pushing him away because you were afraid. A move, he always pulled, a move he was good at until he met you. He understood you, possibly in a way no one ever could. 

Eddie, undeterred, stepped closer to you with a calm determination. Your head snapped up at the movement, eyebrows furrowed in confusion and frustration. 

“No.” He muttered. 

“What?” 

“I’m not gonna leave.”

“But—”

“No but’s, wear your jacket, I’m taking you home.” His tone was clear, not harsh, not soft either. Just letting you know that he was here, he was always going to be here and he was not leaving, even if you tried so hard to make him. 

“I-I don’t think I wanna go home.” You muttered.

“My place?” You nod softly. 

You don’t know why it caused you to break down again, but it did, tears were your friend and they were overspilling faster than you intended them to. His arms opened up instinctively and you didn’t hesitate to let him engulf you. 

“I’m sorry,” you murmured between sobs, the words catching in your throat. “‘M sorry, didn’t mean it, ‘m so sorry, sorry, so—” Hiccups interrupted your apologies, but Eddie hushed you gently, his presence making you feel at ease.

“I know, I know…” he cooed, hand ghosting over your back, the hold he had on you tight enough to let you know that you were safe. “It’s okay, honey.” He reassured. The sweet name had your heart beat faster once you looked up at him. 

“I-I didn’t mean it.” You stammered all teary-eyed, and Eddie couldn’t help the way his chest tightened, you didn’t deserve this, you didn’t deserve to cry. He was going to make sure you were okay.

“Hey, hey, I know.” He cooed softly, gently caressing your face.

“P-please, don’t leave.” Your tone framed the words so gut-wrenchingly painful that Eddie ached, his heart broke a million times, over and over, pieces to pieces. 

“Never.” 

“I’d never leave you.” 

NOW STEVE'S BRUNCH.

With the missing pieces of the puzzle finally being revealed to Eddie, that memory was what he replayed in his head, over and over, until he finally couldn’t handle the way Steve reassured you, hand on your waist as he told you idiotic jokes. 

He couldn’t shake off it, he shouldn’t just leave it like this. He should fight for you, he should do something. His hand was quick to fish out the notebook, his eyes scanned through it to find the perfect note, maybe, this would help you realize that he had always been there for you. A feeble attempt, but he didn’t have any other choice, you didn’t want to talk to him, so he just slipped the note to Jonathan and left. 

You watched him leave, a scowl on your face, heart aching when he didn’t even utter a goodbye to you. It was hypocritical, considering that you had asked him not to acknowledge you, but you couldn’t help it. You couldn’t help yourself when it came to him.

Hours had passed since that moment and you had apologized to Jonathan and Nancy a hundred times by now, but they shrugged it off without a care. God, you really didn’t deserve them, did you? 

And everything was going finally back to normal. Sipping the cocktails and munching on the amazing pancakes Steve had made everyone, and dabbling your feet in the water as laughter was all that surrounded the group. 

This was what it should’ve been, all of you, and Eddie. If he hadn’t brought her. 

But of course, all the bliss disappeared once Steve decided to bring it up again. 

“So… how do you feel?” You threw him a glare, splashing some of the chlorine-filled water directly at his hair. 

“Jesus, not the fucking hair!” He groaned, ruffling it with his daggering glare thrown at you. “Now you have to tell me!” He insisted, shoulder nudging yours. 

“I don’t really wanna talk about it,” you muttered, facing away from him as you felt everyone eyeing you. 

“Maybe, we should.” Jonathan chimed in, making you furrow your brows. 

“What does that mean?” Steve replied before you did. 

With a sigh, Jonathan extended a rustled paper, and you immediately recognized what it was, “He said he wanted me to give this to you.” 

“A note? So brave of him,” Steve mocked with a roll of his eyes, groaning when Nancy elbowed him. 

Robin hid her giggle with her hand, and Nancy threw her an icy glare, shutting both of them up. 

Your brows furrowed in disbelief, lips kissing your teeth as you snatched it out of his hand. “Oh, he did?” You didn’t mean to sound sarcastic, but it was pissing you off at this point. 

He didn’t utter a single word to you. And now he didn’t even have the decency to give you this? 

Steve was right. 

Why was he being a fucking coward? 

You were quick to get up from the side of the pool, plopping onto the nearest chair to read the contents. 

You could feel their eyes on you but they were quick to hide it, going back to their chatter. 

“When she gave me this, I never thought I’d actually end up writing in it for anything other than lyrics. Some ideas. But ever since we kissed, I can’t stop or control my thoughts, it’s been nonstop flowing and this is the only way I can express it. The only thing to make me feel sane, to make it seem like it really was real. My mouth hasn’t shut up about her since she kissed it, my thoughts haven’t been okay ever since I saw the curl of her lips right after she kissed me. I know how hard it is for her, I know how much she struggles with that dipshit who doesn't deserve her. But it doesn’t matter, now. I’ll wait. I’ll wait forever if she asks me to. I’ll do anything if she asks me to.”  

You turned the note over, nothing else was written, with your brows pinched together angrily, you smushed it into your pocket, ignoring the protests of everyone while you jumped into your car in a hurry. 

What the fuck was he thinking giving you this? 

What the fuck was his problem? 

If he wanted you, why couldn’t he just tell you? 

And if so, why did he even bring Chrissy? 

It wasn’t long till you made it to Eddie’s trailer, and with your harsh knocks, it wasn’t long till Eddie opened it. 

“Jesus Christ—” His words fell in the air at the sight of you, eyes widening. 

“What the fuck is your problem?” You yelled, lines on your forehead deepening into a frown as you held up the note in his face. 

“You didn’t utter a single word to me, and you’re just giving this note to Jonathan?” He stammered, mouth unable to find the words to speak, not really expecting you to confront him like this. 

“Why don’t you just say it to my fucking face?”

“I would, if you weren’t so busy.”

Your brows pinched together, “excuse me?” 

“Is this some kind of a joke?” He asked.

“Y-you tell me not to speak with you! You tell me that we shouldn’t ever see each other again, then you leave with Steve and somehow I’m the problem?” He said, exasperated.

Was he… jealous? Of Steve?

“No, the problem is you being a coward!” You raised your voice, hand pressing the note to his chest dramatically. 

“You think I’m a coward? I’m the furthest fucking thing from it, and you know that.”

“You think a coward would put everything aside for you? You think a coward would run away with you?” 

“O-okay, okay!” You want him to stop speaking, because you know he’s right, he wasn’t a coward, at least when it came to that. But he was a coward when it came to his feelings, and maybe it wouldn’t have pissed you off this much if you weren’t one too. 

The two of you were dancing around what you actually needed to talk about, feelings, and it was getting ridiculous at this point, because neither of you could pull away, no matter how many times you said you would. He pulled you in, and you pulled him in. 

“I fucked up, I did. But don’t ever act like I’m the one who ran away when things got too hard, okay?” He leaned further on the door frame, face inches away from yours, it made your breath hitch, heart thumping inside of your ribcage. 

Your words meshed together when your gaze stooped on his lips. He was close, so close, and he occupied your mind. “H-How did we even go back to this? It’s like we’re moving around in a stupid fucking circle and—” You took a deep breath to gather your thoughts. 

“I told you I didn’t want to do this back and forth with you and here we are again!” It was frustrating, everything with him was frustrating, but you couldn’t stay away from him, how could you?

Those five years had been hell. 

“Are you kidding?” His words were dripping with irritation, “You came to my door! Started screaming in my face and waving notes!”

“I only did it because you were too much of a fucking coward to give me the note!” Now it was fully getting ridiculous, arguments turning into a bickering old couple. 

“I told you I’m not a coward—” He defended.

You interrupted with, “Fine, fine! You are not a coward whatever!” 

“What you are is fucking infuriating!” You spat, taking a step closer to him. 

“Infuriating? You started this!” He fueled it, mirroring your steps, one more step from either of you, and his lips would be pressed onto yours. 

“Oh, so I kissed Chrissy?” You scoffed, arms crossed against your chest.

“Jesus, that’s not what I meant!” He almost groaned, frustrated. 

“You want me to prove it to you? You want me to tell you how much I messed up? I’ll fucking do it.” 

There was that tension between the two of you again, it wasn’t filled with hatred in the slightest, but there was so much unresolved shit that it might as well suffocate you if Eddie stepped any closer, it ached, making a way to your heart. 

Three hours ago you wanted him out of your life, for good. Now, all you wanted to do was see him prove himself to you, it was stupid, psychotic, and maybe a little selfish. But you couldn’t help yourself when it’s him. 

“You will?” You stammered, you didn’t fully know what that meant, but it was somehow making your heart jump knowing that maybe the notes still meant something. Maybe, just maybe he wanted you, still. Your forehead relaxed, and lips itched to curl into a smile. 

And of fucking course, Eddie caught it. “Yes.” He said, all smugly, making you want to roll your eyes. 

“G-good, uh, until then, I-I mean it, I don’t want to see you.” You shifted uncomfortably in your place, fully realizing how close he was to you, and it somehow brought confidence to Eddie.

He tssked, “Then you probably shouldn’t come to my door, then.” His nose scrunched sarcastically, eliciting an eye roll from you. 

“Munson.” You warned. 

“Pinky?”

“You really are infuriating.”

“Am I?” He tilted his head all adorably. 

“Yes.”

“See you tonight, sweetheart.” He winked. 

And you groaned with that, flipping him off while you hurried back to your car. 

He closed the door with an amused smile, his nose scrunching as he replayed the conversation in his head. 

“So you two good now?” Wayne’s grouchy tone almost had Eddie jump in place.

“Jesus Christ, Wayne! Were you just eavesdropping on our conversation?”

“What? You said y’all had the worst fight of your lives, that don’t seem like it to me.” He shrugged.

“We did— but uh, I don’t know, I just don’t know what the actual fuck is going with us, I thought I was dead to her but then she just barges in—”

“She cares about you, Eddie.” Wayne sighed. 

“I know that girl like the palm of my hand, if you were dead to her, she wouldn’t even acknowledge you, just her bein’ a big fireball shows she still cares.” 

Eddie sighed, “But she said—” 

“Hell to what she said! Both of y’all are idiots when it comes to this, you go prove to her that you’re sorry, tell her how you feel and then you can thank me.” He exclaimed.

“But—”

“Boy, do what I told you, apologize to that sweet girl, and make sure you do it until she forgives you.” Eddie threw a look at Wayne. 

And Wayne dismissed it with his finger pointing at him, “I mean it, Eddie, after all the shit you told me about what that little blondie did to my Pinky, you should be on your knees beggin’!” 

“Okay, okay!” Eddie admitted the defeat.

“Jesus, old man, it wouldn’t hurt for you to just take your nephew’s side once in a while, would it?” He mocked dramatically. 

He threw a daggering look at Eddie, “Fine, fine, I’ll apologize.” Wayne narrowed his gaze. “A proper apology.” Eddie muttered, almost embarrased. “And?” Wayne raised his brows. Eddie groaned loudly, “and I’ll tell her how I feel.”

✦ final authors note — okay i promise the next two chapters are going to be less angst-filled (like gonna be worth the wait i promiseee) 🤭 and yes the note was inspired by alex turner's letter to alexa chung okay!! reading that at like 13 altered my brain chemistry a LOT. anyway like i said pls leave some feedback i swear it motivates me a LOTTT. thank u for reading ilyy💗

[jiaoqiu-s-bitch]

pls do prompt nr. 21 with nagi pls pls thank u u r the best ily hihihihi

everyone say thank you Dae for sending in a request

this is kinda short-ish bc I’m just as lazy as him lol, but enjoy-

⊰᯽⊱┈───── ✧ ─────┈⊰᯽⊱

Nagi Seishiro - spicy drabble

21. "Wait—uh—do… do that again."

~~~

As per usual when you got home, your boyfriend Nagi Seishiro was splayed out on your shared bed, long limbs threatening to dangle off the edge with every unconscious twitch and jump whenever his character in the game he was currently playing would come close to dying. He groaned in disdain when he didn’t manage to react in time, the screen reading "game over". With an in your opinion adorable pout, he sat up and leaned against the headboard, dark grey eyes flitting over to you as you made your way towards the bed with an amused smile tugging on your lips.

"Awww, did you die because of me?" You mused, letting yourself plop down on the bed ungracefully and crawling into his lap, your arms and legs wrapping around him and your face nuzzling into his neck affectionately.

Almost automatically, Nagi adjusted his position to accommodate you, making sure both of you were comfortable before he picked his phone back up, restarting the game.

"Yeah. But it’s fine, I won’t die this time."

"If you say so", you mumble against his shoulder, resting and letting him do his thing for a bit while listening to the noises from the game and the occasional grunts of Nagi whenever it came close to being game over for him.

You smiled to yourself, mildly amused by how focused he was, given the fact that this man rarely ever bothered to focus on anything - besides video games and soccer, and sometimes you.

You shift a bit in his lap and adjust your position due to your legs threatening to fall asleep, as you hear a "Hey" and a quiet groan from Nagi. You hold still, turning your head towards him with an amused yet apologetic look.

"Did I make you die again? Sorry pumpkin, I’ll hold still now", you giggled, kissing his cheek before trying to turn around far enough to catch a glimpse of his screen.

"Wait—uh—do… do that again."

"Hm? You want another kiss?" You inquire, slightly confused about his request.

"That too. But I meant this", he replied and placed his large hand on the small of your back and pulled you against him once more, which earned a surprised gasp from you.

"Sei, if you were horny, why didn’t you just say so?" You questioned, raising your brows at him as you fought back a grin.

"I wasn’t until you did that. Now I am", Nagi countered matter-of-factly, biting his bottom lip as he repeated the motion and made you grind against him yet again. You rolled your eyes at his antics, but of course you indulged him, moving your hips and grinding down on him on your own now as you could soon feel his growing erection through his sweatpants.

Your movements were earning you a few deep moans from your boyfriend, who was clearly just leaning back and enjoying himself with his eyes closed for the time being. You stopped moving, narrowing your eyes at the frosty-haired man, who in turn opened one of his eyes to try and see why you stopped.

"What’s wrong?"

"What, do you expect me to do all the work?" You questioned him, despite already knowing the answer fully well.

"This is your fault, so yeah. You’ll have to take care of that." He closed his eyes again, but you could clearly see a little smirk tugging on the corners of his lips. You crossed your arms in front of your chest and glared at him.

"You’re a huge baby, y’know that?"

"Mhm, I’m your huge baby" He concluded, but before you could actually get upset, he sat up straight and captured your lips in a sloppy kiss, one of his hands placed on your hips while the other slowly slipped under the waistband of your pants, lazily rubbing circles against your clit, causing you to buck your hips into his hand and moan into his mouth - he loved seeing you get increasingly desperate for him, it always made him so much more eager to put in some effort and please you as well.

"But you’re right, it’s more fun playing in multiplayer mode", he mumbled against your lips, signifying that both of you would ultimately be having your fun tonight.

—————

@sugarkage get your mans😏😚

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Hero

found u on AO3 and loved u immediately, your writing style is incredible and i’ve binged all your stories :) crack request popped into my mind the other day and i thought i’d share—> the pinocchio phenomenon about “my nose will grow” (i’m sure you’re familiar) except for its the sides (prob logan bc experiment) trying it on janus- “janus will be summoned” or something to that effect idk ily please never stop writing <3 – bumblebea2712

Okay, so I've been thinking about something for a while. In your fic, Silver Box, where Roman has that box labeled 'Ego' with all the positive reinforcement in it? What if one of the things that gets whispered from it is when c!Thomas told Roman "you're my hero"? Like, especially with the angst from POF/SvS Redux. Thinking about how Roman misinterpret Janus' nod as 'Thomas is lying' when he actually meant that Thomas was still the truth when calling Roman his hero again. I wanna see Janus trying to correct him and be like "that nod meant he was telling the truth, he still thinks of you as his hero, he still cares about you", etc. Just some Roman, Janus, and c!Thomas angst all bundled up with hurt/comfort. I have THOUGHTS, and so I wanted to share :3 – oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat

If you're up to requests rn, could we have a Sanders Sides fic where Thomas himself is actually present maybe? – anon

Hey, would you be interested in perhaps writing a story where Logan assumes Roman is stupid because he isn’t articulate, and one day Roman has enough and is trying so hard to explain to Logan why he’s wrong but he doesn’t know the right way to phrase things so he just ends up getting more and more upset while Logan isn’t listening? – anon

Hey! I love your work (I’m definitely a Roman angst enjoyer 😅, but all of it’s good!!). If you’re open to requests, I was thinking about the control that Patton has over Roman because like,, a prince fights for honor. For good. And who decides what those concepts mean? Patton does. In some way, he controls Roman’s narrative. Anyways, h/c with Roman and potentially protective Remus. Thank you for considering!! – anon

Read on Ao3

Warnings: self esteem issues, self doubt, slightly unsympathetic logan and patton

Pairings: gen

Word Count: 5984

"What honor is there that I can find now? What—how do I know what is right anymore? I've been behind a sword for so long, I fear…I fear I'm forgetting who I am without it." His breath comes out shakier. "And I fear…if I were to ever try to explain this to someone who wasn't you, my words would come out so clumsy they would impale me on their rusted edges." "There is nothing wrong with the way you speak, Roman. Nothing at all." "If only it were something that would be listened to."

Thomas sighs, scrubbing a hand over his face. "Okay, I think—is that all we're gonna be able to get done today?"

"I have no qualms about continuing, but I do not think it would be productive."

"I'm not gonna sit here and listen to you go around in circles again and again," Virgil groans, long ago giving up the pretense of standing and paying attention, his forehead pressed against the stairs railing, "just call it here and let us go."

"Now, kiddo, that's not a very sporting attitude!" Patton puts his hands on his hips. "If Thomas thinks we're all involved in this discussion, then there's no point if trying to discount your own importance."

"I'm not discounting my own importance, I'm questioning my relevance." He glares through a gap in the bars at Logan. "This whole thing isn't gonna make me think it's not worth being cautious about, no matter how much L tries to talk me out of it. I'm Anxiety. Literally it's my job to be irrational sometimes. By definition—"

"But we've previously established that you do have some semblance of logical reasoning at points, and this could very well be one of those points—"

"Okay." Thomas cuts Logan off with a wave of his hand. "I think—yeah, I think we're done. I'm sorry, Logan, but I don't—we're kind of at an impasse."

"Here's an idea." Virgil's hand flops lazily up in a parody of raising his hand. "Why don't we ask someone whose literal job it is to come up with ideas?"

Logan's nose wrinkles momentarily and he sighs. "I do not see the value in asking either Roman or Remus to weigh in on this discussion when it has nothing to do with them."

"Uh-huh, so you wanna try to do the create-an-idea thing without the Sides whose job it is to do that?"

"We are all capable of coming up with ideas, Virgil, Roman and Remus simply represent Thomas's Creativity."

"Oh, yeah?" Virgil heaves himself up onto an elbow. "When's the last time you came up with an idea for an experiment on your own?"

"Preposterous. I'm perfectly capable of coming up with my own experiments."

"Do it. Right now."

"We are in the middle of discussing—"

"No, no," Thomas says, "please, I could use a break from thinking about this."

Logan's mouth works for a second. "Very well. Let's see…ah. A spin on the Pinocchio paradox."

"The what?"

"The Pinocchio paradox. A simple thought experiment on what would happen if the character, Pinocchio, uttered the words: 'My nose will grow now.' An interesting thought, given that—"

"That his nose grows when he lies and if it does grow then he told the truth which means it wouldn't grow which means he lies, sure, sure, sure, what does that have to do with anything?"

Logan adjusts his ties and raises a finger. "Janus will now appear."

Everyone in the room pauses, listening for the telltale whoosh of a Side appearing. Which it does, a few seconds later, and Logan gets cuffed on the shoulder.

"What was that for?"

"I'm not an experiment," Janus says, a bit too amused to be an indictment, "and am perfectly capable of showing up to slap you for being an idiot."

"See? Experiment successful."

"That's not—okay." Thomas pinches the bridge of his nose. "Janus, while you're here, you might as well weigh in on this."

'"Being arbitrarily asked to choose a side with little to no context as to what the options are? My favorite." He claps his hands a few times. "What am I choosing between?"

"Would it be better if I responded to this email now, saying that I'm not available for a call for the rest of the day, or should I wait and just call back tomorrow when I am free?"

"Ooh, what an interesting dilemma. How badly will your life be impacted by a negative outcome to this call?"

"Don't fucking start with me, J," Virgil warns, studiously ignoring Patton's language, "I know you've been listening this whole time."

"Oh, you're no fun." Virgil tips him a lazy two-fingered salute and he sighs. "Very well. Thomas, do you want to respond to this now?"

Thomas frowns. "What? Isn't that what you all are here for?"

"We can manifest different parts of you trying to figure something out, but that doesn't mean you don't have your own thoughts about it that aren't us. What do you want to do?"

"This line of questioning is pointless. Thomas has established that he doesn't know what he wants and he's asked us—well, I suppose that now includes you—what to do."

Janus slides his gaze to Logan, eyes narrowing slightly. "That's awfully presumptuous of you, Logan."

"Thomas? Is that an inaccurate conclusion?"

"…I mean, not really."

Logan gestures at him. "See? There you are. Now, either we are agreeing to call the meeting here and simply wait until tomorrow, or we are going to rehash the same arguments from the past hour and quite frankly, I think there is a better use of our time."

"Why are the twins not here?"

"Excuse me?"

"The twins. The ones who are good at coming up with solutions to problems." Janus glances around. "They seem conspicuously absent from this meeting where we are trying to come up with a solution to something."

"That's what I was saying."

Logan sighs, removing his glasses to pinch the bridge of his nose. "Alright, if you insist. I do not see what sort of valuable insight they will be able to give us, but if you all want to hear what they have to say, then I suppose I cannot object."

Thomas smiles and reaches out to summon Creativity. A moment later, Roman appears in front of the TV, wincing.

"Thomas?"

"Hey, Roman, we, uh, we were hoping you could help us out."

Roman rubs the back of his neck, glancing around the room. "Uh, sure. What, uh, what with?"

"Thomas is struggling to choose between responding to a missed phone call and voicemail with either an email today apologizing and explaining his availability tomorrow, or simply calling back tomorrow when he is immediately available," Logan says smoothly. "Which option do you think is preferable?"

Roman just blinks at him for a long second. When Logan raises his eyebrows expectantly, his shoulders hunch a little and he curls in on himself. "I, um, I don't know."

"Just as I suspected. Very well, thank you Roman, you may go."

"Wait, what?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Virgil says, sitting up, "that's not fair, he's been here, what, all of two seconds?"

"Yes, and has just admitted that he doesn't have an answer to us, which is not a productive way to continue this conversation, therefore he can go."

"Wait, Logan—" Thomas holds his hand out, silently asking Roman to stay, "can't we just—how's he gonna be able to actually give his opinion if he doesn't have time to make one?"

"Roman, are the facts I've given to you unclear?"

"Huh? N-no—"

"Do you believe you have a firm enough grasp of the situation to form a conclusion?"

"I mean, yeah, I get it, but—"

"And you still don't know what option you prefer?"

Roman's quiet for a moment, his outstretched hand slowly returning to his side. "…no."

Logan nods. "Settled, then."

"Come on, Logan," Janus says, frowning a little now, "just because you didn't want him here doesn't mean you can throw him away as soon as he's said one thing that vaguely aligns with what you wanted."

"First off, that's an incredible level of irony coming from you—" both Janus and Roman flinch— "and secondly, Roman, would you like to be part of this meeting?"

They all turn to look at Roman, who shuffles under their gazes. He keeps flicking his eyes up to Thomas, then to Patton, then to Janus, before staring back down at his hands. The buzzing of the fridge becomes oppressive. He winces and rubs the back of his neck again.

"Roman?"

"…not really."

"Then it's settled, then. Thank you for your input."

Roman glances once more at Thomas with something almost like longing before he sinks out again. Virgil, who'd been watching him closely, turns to frown at Logan. Logan adjusts his tie.

"If that's all, then, Thomas, would you still like to end the meeting here?"

"Yeah, let's…let's call it."

"Very well. I shall be available if you need me further." He sinks out.

Patton sinks out next, giving Thomas a quick thumbs-up before disappearing. Janus exchanges a brief look with Virgil before he's vanishing too, leaving just the two of them alone in the living room. Thomas puts his hands on his hips, staring at the spot where Roman was.

"So that was weird, right?"

"Yeah." Virgil grunts as he sits up, hands balled up in the pocket of his hoodie. "That…I've never seen them…do that before."

"Did Roman and Logan have a fight or something?"

"I don't think so? I mean, I've seen them argue about stuff, but they always do that and it didn't seem like it was any more, like, intense than usual, so I don't…I don't know why that happened." He shuffles. "I've also never seen Logan be that…short with Roman before."

"Yeah, like, he was here for literally, like—"

"Like two seconds—"

"And then Logan was telling him to go again. And did you notice how he kept looking—"

"At you?"

"At me, yeah, did—did I do something?"

"What? Shit, no, Thomas, I don't think that's it. I think—" he sighs— "look, he's not gonna be happy I'm telling you this, but Princey's been going through some stuff lately and I'm not sure exactly what it is but I know it's been weighing on him a lot."

Thomas frowns. "How so?"

"Well, let me put it this way: have you been daydreaming a lot more lately?"

He thinks. "Uh, yeah, I mean, I guess so, but I haven't been doing that much recently, which kind of makes sense, I guess?"

"Yeah, well, that's Princey in the Imagination." Thomas nods and Virgil gives him a pointed look. "I'm telling you that Princey's been going into the Imagination more."

"Yeah, that's—isn't that what he does?"

Virgil scrubs a hand over his face. "Yeah, it is, but not like this. Normally when he goes in, he's doing it to come up with ideas or work something out, or…something. But recently…"

"But recently that doesn't feel like what he's doing," Thomas finishes, chewing on his lip, "yeah, actually, now that you mention it, it does kind of feel…different. Like—like they're…"

"Comfort," Virgil finishes quietly when he can't quite put his finger on it, "it feels like a comfort."

"Roman's going into the Imagination to comfort himself?" Virgil shrugs. "Why?"

"Like I said, he's going through some stuff. It's not—I'm not all up on how the Imagination translates to whatever your daydreams end up being, but I don't think—Princey's not even telling us what he gets up to in there."

Thomas sucks in a breath. If there's one thing he's learned after listening to them talk about whatever goes on in the Mindscape when they're not with him, it's that Roman loves to regale them with tales of his adventures in the Imagination, even if it comes at the expense of whatever else they're doing. To hear that Roman's been going off more than usual and he isn't telling them about it? Worrying, to say the least.

"When did this start?"

Virgil blows out a breath. "After the wedding."

"Shit, that's…probably not good."

"Yeah."

They both stare at the black TV. A bit of dust gets caught in a gust from the vent and sticks to the corner.

"…he's my hero," Thomas says quietly.

"Huh?"

"He's my hero. Maybe he's…maybe he's going to the Imagination to do the things heroes don't get to do."

"Okay, you gotta break that down for me a little more."

"The heroes don't get to be vulnerable. They don't get to…to actually stop and rest, not really. They have to keep going, they have to…" Thomas swallows. When did this lump in his throat get here? "They're not—oh, god, am I gonna cry?"

"Shit, shit, shit, uh—do you want me to get Patton back?"

"N-no, no, don't—" for some reason the thought of Patton reappearing sends a bolt of fear straight through his chest and he knows Virgil feels it too, shooting to his feet and watching as Thomas stumbles back to the couch— "I—oh, god."

"Hey, hey, hey, buddy," Virgil says, voice soft and low as Thomas buries his face in his hands, "take it easy, okay? You're okay, you're safe in the house, everything's okay. I need you to take a deep breath for me, okay? Just a nice, deep breath, you're okay, that's it, good, now let it out…nice, do it again…"

Virgil helps talk him slowly through the well of emotion suddenly bubbling just at the base of his throat, the breaths coming out shaky but steady. Absentmindedly, he puts a hand to his chest and starts rubbing in slow, firm circles. The pressure does something to the frantic and flighty part of him, helping to soothe him back from whatever brink he hadn't realized he'd walked to.

"Hey," Virgil calls a few minutes later, "you with me again?"

"Yeah, I think so." He takes a couple more seconds just to breathe it out. "Roman's—Roman's my hero, and I don't know if he knows that I…that I still want to listen to him."

"What do you mean?"

"Afterwards. When I—when we were all—when the stuff happened. He said that he thought he was my hero and I told him he was and then he…"

"Freaked," Virgil finishes when he can't, "yeah, I remember."

"I don't…I don't know why that made him so upset."

"Well, hey," he says when that lump starts to come back to his throat, "let's not have you worry about that right now, okay? You—let's go do something else that'll get your mind off of it. Go rewatch the Office bloopers again, that always works."

"Will you—can you keep an eye on him for me?"

"Yeah, Thomas, I can do that. Now c'mon, those bloopers aren't going to rewatch themselves."

***

Roman walks slowly through the woods as the fireflies twinkle around him. He lifts a hand to push aside a branch, stepping through the shadows to emerge onto the thin dirt path that winds through the base of the trees. As the darkness falls, the thin blue lines grow deeper, darker, blending together to weave across the grass as little critters scurry back and forth. The whistle of the wind accompanies the crunch of his footsteps as he makes his way toward the cabin.

Movement from around the side and the man emerges, wiping dirt from his hands with a rag. He looks up and smiles as Roman approaches.

"Roman," he greets, with his voice warm, "how good it is to see you."

"I see I'm a bit too late to help with the chores." He nods to the rag. "I don't mean to impose on you."

"Nonsense, old friend, nothing you do could possibly be an imposition. As it happens, I have a stew on that I won't be able to finish by myself and it would be a great favor to me if you were to help me."

Roman chuckles. "How could I refuse?"

The man holds a hand out to him as he nears, settling it on the curve of Roman's neck and pulling him close for a brief hug of sorts. Roman turns his cheek to rest against the curve of his jaw, breathing out shakily. The man lets out a comforting noise and his fingers card through the delicate hairs at the base of his head.

"Come inside, dear friend, let the fire warm you."

"The night is warm already."

"It is young still, and will grow cold," he says as he begins to lead them up the stairs, "and you look to be the type of cold that does not thaw even in the hottest sun."

"I worry for the state of the realm sometimes, if I am truly so transparent."

"Only to me, dear friend, and only because you have seen fit to allow yourself to be so with me." He's coaxed inside a modest cabin, sat at a simple hewn table as a rich smell fills the room. He closes his eyes to breathe it in, opening them again when the low thud of a bowl and tankard draws his attention. "Eat, please. You know I can't bear a less-than-full stomach under my roof."

"You're too kind to me."

"Nonsense." The hand fits itself around his head once more. "You are worth being kind to, and even more worth allowing me to care for you. Now, come on."

The stew is simple, hearty, and as filling as he could ever want. Under the table, their legs press together, boots against boots, knee against knee. The fire crackles in the hearth as the last of the light fades from outside. He can feel his shoulders beginning to relax, the line of his body growing looser, more languid.

When they've both eaten their fill and the dishes have been set away to deal with later, he sits on the floor near the hearth and stares into the flames. A warm hand lands on his shoulder and brings his head to rest against another, light touch trailing over the bare skin under his sleeve.

"What troubles you tonight, dear friend?"

"I don't want to impose—"

"Shh, none of that now. It's an honor to be troubled by your worries."

He turns his head into the crook of his neck, breathing in the smell of clean sweat, of spiced apple, of wood smoke. "I struggle to remember what it is I fight for."

Gentle nails along his scalp. "How so?"

"What honor is there that I can find now? What—how do I know what is right anymore? I've been behind a sword for so long, I fear…I fear I'm forgetting who I am without it." His breath comes out shakier. "And I fear…if I were to ever try to explain this to someone who wasn't you, my words would come out so clumsy they would impale me on their rusted edges."

"There is nothing wrong with the way you speak, Roman. Nothing at all."

"If only it were something that would be listened to."

"Hey." He's nudged until he can look up at the man's face. "You once told me that all you wanted to fight for was this. For the chance for one to sit, in the peace and safety, with those they care for, and have that be alright. Is this still true?"

"Yes. But I don't—I no longer know how to do that."

The man goes quiet, contemplative, running his fingers gently over the edge of Roman's face. The touch coaxes a lump to his throat, a tear to his eye, and the man lets out another comforting noise, pulling him closer.

"Rest for the night, please, dear friend. My bed is warm, my touch willing. You fear losing who you are without your sword? Put it down for the night, stay. Remind yourself of how to enjoy the thing you fight for."

"If only I could be as persuasive as you," he mumbles, allowing himself to sink into the warmth of the touch, "then I might never need a sword again."

He chuckles. "Well, I don't know if I can do all that much, but I have learned how to persuade you, my dear, and that will serve me well enough."

***

"Roman?"

Roman turns, spotting Janus as he trudges back from the Imagination. "What're you doing awake?"

"I was waiting for you."

He winces. "Sorry, I, um, did we have something planned?"

"What? No, no, sweetie, nothing like that, I only—I wanted to talk to you for a moment."

A chill works its way up Roman's spine and he suppresses a shudder, walking slowly to his room and opening the door. Janus follows him in, carefully closing it behind them and waiting while Roman tucks something into a drawer on his desk and sitting down.

"What's up?"

"Are you…are you okay?"

He flinches slightly. "Why, um, why?"

Janus looks pained. He glances around and seemingly comes to a decision before sinking down to the floor, crossing his legs and sighing. "You…seemed very upset after earlier, and I wanted to come and ask you about it."

"Oh, no, I'm fine, I wasn't—Logan was right, I wasn't going to be useful in that conversation."

"The one you were in for all of three seconds before you were being shunted out of it again?"

Roman narrows his eyes. "You know, it is kind of ironic that you of all people are worrying about that right now."

Janus barely has time to process how he feels about that sentence before Roman's eyes are widening and he's leaning back.

"Sorry, I'm sorry, that came out really rude, I didn't mean that."

"You did, and that's okay. No, no—really, it is okay, Roman, you don't have to pretend like I didn't hurt you—that I'm not hurting you when I do things like that. No, no—" he stands as Roman covers his face with his hands— "please, sweetie, just—just listen to me for a second, okay?"

Roman nods, his face still hidden. Janus hesitates for a moment before gloved hands come down to rest on his shoulders. He leans down and carefully, carefully presses his chin to the top of Roman's head. Roman shudders a little under the contact but stays still.

"You've been distant lately," Janus whispers, as though afraid of breaking the silence, "and that's not a bad thing, sweetie, but it's…it seems like it's hurting you. And I'm worried because Thomas isn't—I don't know what Thomas would do without you."

Roman stiffens and immediately he knows it was the wrong thing to say. "I won't let Thomas down again, I know what I'm doing. I'm just—I'm sorry I haven't been very present lately, but I'm—"

"No, no, that's not what I meant—wait, what do you mean, 'again?'"

Roman hunches his shoulders. "I know I'm not Thomas's hero anymore, okay? You don't need to keep acting like I'm—"

"Wait, wait, sweetie." Janus crouches down, cupping Roman's face in his hands. "What do you mean, you're not Thomas's hero anymore?"

"That's what you said! After the wedding, when he said—when I said—and you nodded! Like it was a lie!" He jerks away. "We don't need to pretend that didn't happen, okay? I remember, it's not like I could forget something like that."

"No, no, Roman—no, that's not what I meant, I didn't—it wasn't a lie."

Roman goes still. He stares at Janus for a long moment, long enough for a bit of a smile to come to his face, like Roman's actually listening to him. Then Roman's expression darkens and the voice that comes out of him is darker and more venomous than anything Janus has ever heard.

"Do not lie to me."

"R-Roman—"

"No." Roman pulls away, standing up, towering over him. "You will not lie to me. Not about that, not about anything like that. Use me as your puppet all you want, everyone knows I can't stop you, but I won't let you lie to me about this. Ever."

He's already fumbling to get his gloves off, surging up and grabbing Roman in a tight hug, so close he couldn't hope to get an inch of distance between them. "I'm not lying," he hisses, almost into Roman's nose, "I'm not lying about this, Roman, I'm not. Thomas wasn't lying. You're his hero. You still are."

"Stop it—"

"My gloves are off! I can't lie with my gloves off, Thomas loves you—you're his hero—"

"Stop it!" The words leave Roman in a breathless cry and Janus is left struggling to heft his weight as his knees buckle. "Stop it, stop it—stop it, it's not true, it can't be true, it's a lie—it—it has to be—"

"Why does it have to be, sweetie?" They're back on the floor, Janus smoothing hair back from Roman's flushed face, awkwardly holding him in his lap. "Why did it have to be a lie?"

"Because—because—" he sniffles— "nothing makes sense anymore. I don't—I can't—I can't do anything."

He frowns. "What do you mean you can't do anything?"

Hands come up to circle his wrists, not to push him away, just to have somewhere else to hold onto. "Princes fight for honor, for what's good. I can't—I can't fight anymore."

Not much can break Janus's heart like hearing Roman admit something like that, fewer things still can threaten tears at the corners of his eyes like the ones badly concealed in Roman's voice. "What do you mean, sweetie? Why can't you fight anymore?"

"I don't know anything! I don't know what's good, what's honorable, what's—what's right, I can't…I'm wrong, Janus, I'm just wrong and I don't—I don't know how to be right again."

"Shh, shh, shh, easy, now, sweetie, shh…" Janus hauls him closer, pressing his mouth to his flushed cheek, still murmuring comfort. "Shh…that's it, just stay here with me a moment, okay?"

"J-Janus—"

"I'm here, sweetie, I'm right here."

Roman's stifled sobs land like mines in the room, creating a mess around them as he curls up tighter, tighter still. The door to the Imagination glistens softly and he can almost hear the distant crackle of a fireplace and that alone sends him further into the fit. Janus's hands remain gentle, holding him close, but everything keeps spinning and nothing, nothing makes sense except the hurt in his chest.

He's going to cry himself to sleep again, he realizes faintly as exhaustion starts to seep through him, but then Janus is kissing his forehead again and gently shaking him awake.

"Sweetie, listen to me: no one knows what you fight for better than you, okay? You're Thomas's Hopes and Dreams, his hero—" Roman whimpers— "you do know what's right."

"N-no, I don't."

"Then who does know?"

"Patton."

Janus's blood runs cold. "Patton? Why Patton?"

"Patton's the Heart, he's M—he's Morality. He knows—he decides. I'm—I just follow." He sniffles. "And Logan—Logan, he's right, I don't—I'm so stupid—"

"That's enough, now." He runs a hand through his hair again. "That's enough, sweetie. You're not stupid. No—shh, shh, you're not. You know you're not."

"I am. I can't—I can't talk right and I don't know what I'm doing and—an' I'm just gonna mess everything up again."

Janus closes his eyes, bowing his head and taking a deep breath of his own. Cradling Roman's head to his chest, he leans down and kisses both his forehead and his cheeks, just staying there for a long, long moment. Roman's soft sobs echo gently in his ear and he tucks a stray piece of hair back from his face.

"You're not stupid," he murmurs, "you're not going to mess everything up again. You're okay. You're okay, sweetie."

Roman sniffles and shakes his head. "No, it's not. It's not okay."

"…no," Janus concedes, pulling Roman close, "I suppose it's not."

***

Not many things can happen in the Mindscape without Remus noticing, and almost nothing can happen to his brother without him showing up to knock some heads.

Case in point: when there's a tug in his gut telling him that Roman is upset, he grabs his Morningstar and sinks out without hesitating.

When he rises up in the living room, it takes less than two seconds for him to determine one: that Logan is picking on his brother, two: Patton isn't doing anything to stop him, and three: Roman is crying.

"Remus, not now," Logan sighs, "we're in the middle of something."

"You're in the middle of hurting my brother."

"R-Re?" He's got his arm around Roman's shoulders in the next moment. "W-wait, I need to—I have to—I gotta explain."

"Explain what, Roro?"

Logan sighs. "Roman has been trying, unsuccessfully, to explain that we are at fault for—"

"Ah, no." Remus throws a knife at Logan. "I didn't ask you. Shush."

"Remus! Throwing knives at people isn't nice!"

"Neither is making them cry! We're all in agreement." He tucks his head against Roman's, gentling his voice. "What're you trying to explain, Roro?"

"The—" he sniffles— "Janus said I should try—try talking to them and I said it wouldn't work but he—he insisted an' I—"

"Shh, shh, take your time, Ro, you're doing great."

"Heart. Morality. Prince. Logic."

Remus's little black heart breaks in two and he wraps his arms tightly around his brother. "Oh, Ro, it's okay. It's gonna be okay, lemme get you somewhere safe and I'll do it for you, okay?"

"You don't have to—"

"Trust me, Ro-bro, I got this."

Roman sags in his arms. "O-okay."

Remus quickly bids the Imagination to open its doors and sinks Roman out, giving him a gentle push into the forest before reappearing in the living room. He cracks his knuckles and grins.

"Alright, where were we?"

Logan sighs. "Remus, I don't—"

"Ah, that's right!" Remus throws another knife at him. "You, not listening to people who can't articulate things as well as you can! Rude and ableist, Loganberry, not a good look on you."

"I am not—"

"Roman can't articulate his thoughts as well as you can and so you think you're better than him, smarter than him, and that he's not worth listening to, is that explicit enough?" Logan opens and closes his mouth a few times but doesn't say anything. "Mm. And you!"

Patton yelps as Remus throws something at him too.

"You have a nasty habit of making Roman feel like a helpless little kid! You have a lot of sway over things like Thomas's sense of right and wrong and when you don't talk to Roman like he's your equal, you really fuck him up!"

"Language—"

"Don't fucking talk to me about my language," Remus says with artificial cheeriness, "talk to yourself about how not to give my brother an identity crisis!"

He stops throwing things, mainly because the rest of them are exploding or things he knows Roman would rather he didn't throw at them, no matter how tempting it is. The two of them slowly get their shit together, each with a different amount of regret. He doesn't really care about that, though, so long as they're not going to hurt Roman like that again.

"Good chat!"

And he sinks out to tackle Roman into Ollie's pond so they can have fun playing and not crying.

God, he loves his brother.

***

"Hey, Thomas?"

Thomas looks up and sees Virgil on the stairs. "Oh, hey, Virge, what's up?"

"You, uh, you asked me to keep an eye on Princey."

He sits up straight. "Yeah, what's—what's going on?"

Virgil sighs, rubbing his hands together. "There was a…not a fight, but some stuff happened. Turns out that Roman, uh, didn't believe you when you said you still thought of him as your hero and it…got bad."

"Do I want to know how bad?"

"Like, bad enough that Roman wasn't—shit, Thomas, no, I don't think you wanna know. Let's just say it was bad enough that he wasn't just going to the Imagination for comfort, he was going there because it was the only place he felt safe."

"Oh, Roman…"

"The fight—the thing was about Roman trying to explain to Patton and Logan how it fucked him up really badly, and he wasn't—you know how Roman's not always the best at explaining himself?"

"Yeah?"

"It—it wasn't really going well. Remus had to step in and do it for him."

"Wait, Remus?"

"Yeah, they're brothers. Remus—shit, Remus is really protective of Roman sometimes and this time wasn't an exception. Everyone's fine now, but it's…" Virgil sighs. "Logan and Patton have apologized and everybody's working on it, but I thought you'd want to know."

"How much stuff happens with you guys that I don't know about?"

"Honestly? I don't think you want the answer to that either."

"Jesus." Thomas scrubs a hand over his face. "Alright, well, thanks for telling me, Virgil. If…if there's anything I can do, let me know?"

Virgil nods and sinks out. Thomas puts a hand to his chest, rubbing in slow circles. There's a part of him that feels cold, still. Maybe…maybe he can figure out some way to help warm it up.

***

Roman wakes up to the sound of a crackling fire. He hums, rolling over, reaching for the edge of the bed, only to stop when his hands meet the thick red comforter. He frowns. This…this is his bed. He didn't fall asleep in the Imagination. So then why…?

He looks over and his eyes widen.

Across the room, tucked into a neat little alcove that definitely wasn't there when he went to sleep, is a merrily crackling fireplace. Above it, mounted on a gold plaque, is a cardboard sword with the words you're my hero written on it in red ink.

General Taglist: @frxgprince@potereregina@gattonero17@iamhereforthegayshit@thefingergunsgirl@awkwardandanxiousfander@creative-lampd-liberties@djpurple3@winterswrandomness@sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes@iminyourfandom@bullet-tothefeels@full-of-roman-angst-trash  @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind@demoniccheese83@pattonsandershugs @el-does-photography @princeanxious@firefinch-ember@fandomssaremysoul@im-an-anxious-wreck@crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch@enby-ralsei@unicornssunflowersandstuff@wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv  @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams@averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb @cricketanne @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws@cecil-but-gayer@i-am-overly-complicated@annytheseal@alias290@tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance@whyiask@crows-ace @emilythezeldafan@frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires@cyanide-violence@oonagh2@xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx@rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734@triflingassailantofmyemotions @virgil-sanders-the-gay-emo@cerulean-watermelon@puffed-up-bees@meltheromanstan@joyrose-fandomer@insanitori@mavenmush@justablah65@10paradox10@uhhh-hi-there-i-am-nervous@cutebisexualmess@bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti@ultrageekygirl

[kevinsdsy]

Congratulations on graduating!! I just graduated high school and I’m starting college in August. Do you have any advice that I could take with me at the start of the year?

(Btw I LOVE the socmed au. You’re absolutely brilliant in every one)

HII THANK YOU SO MUCH <333 CONGRATS TO YOU TOO FOR GRADUATING HIGH SCHOOL :)))

hmmm on advice it depends actually bc i study in the netherlands and we don't get graded on attendance. now this might seem like the worst advice ever, but i live by this: i would say try figuring out which classes are really of use because it saves you A LOT of time to skip the classes of no importance (like no joke, i've literally skipped classes just so i could stay at home and study, because i know i work better by myself); but obviously this goes out the window if u get graded for attendance because it'd be nice to be able and fall back on that.

me, personally, i did always do the readings we needed to do during the semester which helped me a lot and i would study based on old study material, so like exams from previous years etc. which were LIFE SAVERS because do believe exams are always similiar to old exams, so hopefully your teachers provide those for you and always try asking around with fellow students or students from a grade above you if they have anything saved, especially after covid a lot of people still have online exams etc.

i wasn't keen on doing homework except for subjects that are similiar to math or statistics, so it's really important for yourself to figure out what works for you because a lot of my friends have commented on how weird my study methods are LMAOO because i go all over the place

but yeah i wish i could give u better advice than "don't do all your work and skip classes" LMAOOO but honestly you get so much work thrown at you it almost feels impossible to do everything and for me it honestly has worked so much because i just know i wouldn't have had enough time to study if i didn't skip classes but this also just works out for me because we don't even have to attend our classes and don't get graded on it.

and honestly don't take college too seriously. try socialising with your classmates because having nice people around is what makes or breaks the experience in my opinion.

((SORRY THIS WAS SOOO LONNGG but thank you for saying u like the socmed au ily im so glad u enjoy it))

[yakultii]

Do you prefer people or nature?

this is actually a really good question! I mean if you want my genuine immediate answer, I consider people to be nature.. I mean aren’t we? like yeah we have different anatomy to certain animals and certain plants but at the end of the day we are the same thing, living creatures that breathe and die amongst other things.. I recognised this when I was like 5 and my religion teacher would tell me god was in nature, in the grass and the sky, but god was also in me and the people I loved, as well as the fruit I ate and so on.. anyways I’m no longer religious at all but then as an early teen I became super conscious of the fact humans are nature when I found joy and relief in hiking mountains and swimming in the ocean, as it allowed me to feel somewhat whole and renewed, knowing that I was just another piece of earth similar to the ocean and nothing more etc. it was like being a piece in a jigsaw puzzle.. if the piece got lost there’d be other pieces but the picture wouldn’t look the same (and the puzzle would evolve in time as some pieces were lost and new ones were created.. I felt lucky to be a part of the puzzle in a way.. not of society just of earth) anyway I struggle to remember that sometimes now but it always lives in the back of my head.. ok slight tangent, but if u want a more simplified answer when considering people and nature as seperate entities, it’s hard to say.. I mean sure nature (when considering animals, trees, ocean) is easier to get along with (at least that’s what we think) but the complexity of humanity is kind of beautiful.. I mean I don’t feel I fully click with anyone really, but just being able to observe it is (I was going to say nice but a lot of it is not nice) it is just the human experience I guess (and what am I grateful for in this existence if not for knowing all sides of the human experience?)..like yeah there are horrible people in this world (and I hate it so deeply) but there are also plants that can kill you. I think due to human complexities regarding the ways in which our physiological development allows us to think critically and reflectively about everything and then express it with language, we tend to assume humanity is more complex (it’s also a superiority thing) therefore also more problematic than other things which just exist, but don’t we just exist too? just in different ways.. ok that was not a simplified answer at all, I guess I can’t choose my preference as both are fundamental to my existence on this planet even if I am just to observe it and I kind of see them as the same thing.. sorry you had to read all this if you did and sorry if it doesn’t make sense cos my brain is fried rn for many reasons but I swear there’s intent behind it hehe thank u for the question I actually really needed the distraction tonight and this particular question grounded me a little, ily anon, whoever u are <33

[iiwaijime]

HELLO HELLO LINA !! sorry i’m sending this late i had work yesterday and i literally KNOCKED out right after but OMG YOU READ ALL MY ASKS? :((((( (/POS) all my yapping is so much i can’t believe you keep up with them <333333333 MATH KID ERA OMG don’t burn yourself out but i’m glad you’re understanding things!! it always feels so rewarding when you get the material so you should definitely feel proud of yourself!! AND I SEE YOU ON SAV AND NESS’ BLOG A LOT AND I THINK YOURE THE CUTEST EVER !! i hope you had time to nap because naps are fun and i can’t wait for your iwa smau!!

AND IM GOOD !! THANK YOU FOR ASKING!! work has been better but i’m getting so so so tired more often now because of it but other than that i’ve been so well!! AND THANK YOU LINA YOURE SO SWEET <333333333 I HOPE YOUVE EATEN !! MAKE SURE TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!! ILY ILY ILY!! <333333 XOXOXO

IT WASNT LATE DONT WORRY!!!! BESIDES MY TIMEZONE IS LIKE THE OPPOSITE OF MOST PEOPLE I KNOW SO,,,,,

READINF THE ASKS IS LIKEEEE reading the newspaper kind of!!!! a very interesting newspaper!!!!!!! ANYWYAS!!!!

im not burning myself out dw!!!! but thank u for saying that!!!!🫂🫂🫂 going to become an academic weapon again guys the validation is like NOTHING else

THANK YOU THOUFH!!!!!!!! NO UR THE CUTEST EVER!!!! I LOVE SEEING UR LITTLE STORIES AND LIFE THINGS IN GENERAL!! i took the tiniest nap and my haters woke me up fr (they made me have dinner) I CAN'T WAIT FOR MY IWA SMAU EITHER ITS SO!!!! <33333 im so excited to write it and make them go through Things together!! also shoutout to my bb @akaakeis bc!!!! she helped me w some technical things and hyped me up to do in the first place and i would just like to say that i love her very much

IM GLAD YOURE GOOD!!!! I HOPE WORK DOESNT TIRE YOU OUT TOO MUCH

you're sweeter actually!!!!

i just finished eating (this needs to be studied) I HOPE YOUVE EATEN ALSO!! TAKE CARE POOKIE ILY🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

[barzzal]

Be warned this is gonna be long i apologize in advance, but this is all just me giving a massive kudos to you and your work. I’m so happy to see this updated thank you for your hard work and talented writing.

*inhales*

*exhales*

After reading interlude ii for CMC and as usual I loved it to bits but also I AM SUDDENLY CONFLICTED? With BOTH SIDES????? The whole time I was like “Yeah Sidney take the fucking L” but now that we have the full detailed story of how it led up to that moment, suddenly the situation is so much more complicated. HE ACTUALLY WAS READY AT THE LAST MOMENT OH GOD HE WAS GOING TO DO ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING TO MAKE IT UP TO HER AND THE BABY HE WAS READY TO BE A PARTNER AND DAD-

And now my head is in my hands as I think: ‘Oh my god. Reader didn’t give him a chance to be a dad to Lucas for NEARLY SEVEN YEARS (even though she was justifiably pissed at him) AND HE THOUGHT HIS BABY WAS GONE’

And, please hear me out. The pregnancy and the actual birth of the baby are two different parts of the process. It’s different for everyone, but sometimes it takes a few weeks or months for the parents to feel a connection with their baby once they’re born; It’s actually quite common among parents. Same goes for the pregnancy term. It’s fucking scary, raising a child; You’re not just living your life for yourself, you’re living your life for the best interest of your child. And while there’s absolutely no excuse for Sid and his emotional distance/neglect (believe me when I say I still want to sock him in the face for his initial reaction), it does bring perspective at to why he reacted that way. Correct me if I’m wrong, but he was scared that his commitment to his career would end up hurting his kid, not being able to be there for them. Of course, dumbass man sucked at communicating that to Reader properly huh

But he did come back. He did return. He was ready to begin repenting. Lucas wasn’t even born yet and he was ready to do right by him and Reader both.

Suddenly I am now in full panic mode because once Lucas gets older enough to question why did his mom keep him away from his dad if both parents loved and wanted him from the start. And I know reader said in previous chapters that everything she did was for her son and his happiness and safety which is an absolute HELL YES THAT’S WHAT BEING A PARENT IS ABOUT, but did she ever consider the possibility that keeping them both hidden away from Sid would potentially hurt all of them more than it would help? Lucas never got to meet the other side of the family; Troy and Trina never got to be grandparents, Taylor never got to be an aunt. They weren’t able to see Lucas grow up, and I just know they would’ve loved him the moment they were told of his existence.

Am I allowed to feel angry at both Sid and Reader? I am so sorry I… just love this story so much, I’ve never felt so many emotions reading before. Please correct me if I’m wrong in any way.

first of all, ily oh gosh. i never expect a comment this long from anyone but omg thank you!! i appreciate you taking the time to lmk which part/s u like/impacted u most 🥺 not lying when i say i was smiling as i read it entirely it’s truly fulfilling to come across a reader as passionate as u so endless thanks my dear 🫶🏻

second, ALL FEELINGS ARE VALID! i honestly can’t wait for them to be happy why can’t they just sit together and talk things out it’s not that hard 😭 had enough of little lukey having to bear poor adult choices!!

to clarify tho, since i’ve been mia on here and on the updates, the series was supposed to be done in 2022 😫 so our timeline for cmc would be that it’s still 2021 going 2022 (refer to teaser #3).

for everyone to be on the same page, allow me to recapitulate:

april 2015

refer to teaser #1

sidney is 27 yrs. turning 28 yrs. in aug

reader is 26 yrs.

first month of summer, 2015

june: reader finds out she’s pregnant

july: miscarriage scare; sid and reader break up before kris’ wedding

post breakup, 2015-2016

sidney wins the cup, oct 2015 to june 2016

post breakup, 2016

january: luke is born on 6th of january (kind of like his dad’s bday 8.7.87 = 1.6.16)

post breakup, 2016-2017

sidney wins another cup, oct 2016 to april 2017

post breakup, 2019

reader moves back to pittsburgh; hides sid’s son

post break up, 2021 [we’ll go back to this timeline on ch. 6]

sidney is 33 yrs. going 34 yrs. (refer to teaser #2)

reader is 31 going 32

luke is 5 yrs. a few months older than geno’s son, nikita

minimum age requirement for sid’s little penguins hockey is 5 yrs.

luke enters hockey program, meets sidney; sidney meets luke and reader

timeline for ch. 6 until stated otherwise

ANYWAY, i’m so excited we’re now on the second half of the series!!! ✨and the plot thickens✨

[aubreysheadspace]

Hi! Let me just start by saying I love this blog so much and reading all these has given me so much joy the past few days! I’m sorry to hear that your motivation is running low lately but it’s totally understandable. Just know that I and I’m sure many other people will always look forward to a new post from you no matter how long it takes :)

Ok so I thought up a scenario with Kel, hopefully it’s not too lengthy-

You and Kel had been friends for about a month now. You were a little shy and had trouble with self-esteem and Kel picked up on that and encouraged you to be more outgoing and to not worry too much. Today you had been hanging out with a few of your other friends and had a huge falling out with them that led to them all abandoning you, for something that wasn’t necessarily your fault. Feeling absolutely miserable, you checked your watch and realized it would be an hour or so before your guardian(s) could pick you up. Seeing how the park was close by, you decided to find the most hidden, secluded spot underneath some trees to release all your sorrows. Kel was playing basketball in the court at the moment, but he stopped suddenly. He might not have heard anything if you two hadn’t been friends for a while. “Y/N..?” He walks toward the distant noise of soft crying and eventually finds you in your miserable state, crouched between the trees trying in vain to wipe away the tears from your bloodshot eyes.

KEL COMFORTING READER (PLATONIC)

OH MY GOSH <3 you’re absolutely sweet and super kind, thank you so much! and I find this scenario so sweet yet so sad 3: hope u enjoy, ily! /p

KEL was absolutely stunned to see you all sad and miserable, especially by yourself

he drops everything to be by your side without hesitation,

whether it’d be the basketball in his hand or the entire game he’s playing with his new friends

either way, he stops everything just to know why you were so sad!

he’s been your friend for a month, sure, but he still deeply cares about you as if he’s known you his entire life!

KEL is a really cheerful and outgoing person, sometimes dumb and can’t really read the room, but he is mature enough to understand that is a serious issue you’re going through

he’ll wait until you’re done crying, even volunteered to wipe your snot away with his basketball uniform… gross

hey, he wanted to cheer you up a little bit so you wouldn’t be completely depressed right now

once you’re done with crying or you’re crying just a little bit, KEL wants you to tell him what’s wrong

if you deny at first, he’ll try again!

"hey.. come on [READER].. you could trust your buddy KEL with anything, y’know?" KEL said with a sheepish grin, hoping you’d open up to him. however you refuse yet again.

"no, KEL.. its fine.. i’m fine." you protested, yet it clear you were definitely not okay. tears were still coming out of your eyes that were bloodshot red, you could barely talk due to the amount of crying you’re still doing and that lump in your throat, and you felt like absolute garbage.

KEL obviously noticed you were not fine and grew a little impatient. "you’re not fine though? you’re clearly crying your eyes out at the park, how is that fine?" KEL spoke, a bit confused at your attempt to lie to him. you groaned a bit, "i just, don’t wanna talk about it.."

"oh.. um, that’s cool too! but it’s not cool to bottle it all up, y’know?" KEL said as he awkwardly scratched the back of his neck, unsure of how to get you to open up. "i know we haven’t been friends for a long time really but, a friend is a friend! you don’t have to open up to me or anything, but it’s never good to not speak about your feelings." you listened to him attentively and you realized he was actually kind of right. sure his wording is a bit… something, but it’s better than nothing. plus he’s trying his best. so after a few seconds of silence, you finally told him everything that made you this upset.

KEL listens to your side of the story and makes sure he’s paying attention, this is serious after all

after you’ve told him that your own friend group straight up abandoned you for something that wasn’t necessarily your fault at all..

..KEL was absolutely outrageous, very disappointed at your friends! he didn’t understand why they would just.. leave you in the dust like that!

it felt great that KEL was really caring and nice towards your situation, even deciding to pat your back

you might wanna stop him from straight up going up to your friends and ask them to listen to your side of the story

he knows you’re a bit shy and lacked a bit of self-esteem, so if you didn’t want to talk to your friends about it due to fear, he’ll gladly do it for you!

what he doesn’t know is how embarrassing it’ll be for him to do that for you. so please, try and stop him

but he will cheer you on and hype you up if you do wanna talk to your friends about it!

if you’re alone now without your previous ex group, KEL would invite you to watch/play basketball with him and his new friends!

and if the SUNNY route is happening on the last day, then you could meet his previous (still ongoing) friend group! they’d gladly let you hang out with them!

[helaelaemond]

Hiii, I really hope this doesn’t come off the wrong way, bc in no means do I mean it in a rushing way! But I was wondering if you were still planning on doing the kinktober requests? i was really looking forward to them, but ik that u said you were feeling down recently, so I didn’t know if u were just going to put them off and do them later as normal requests after October or just not do them?

In no way am I trying to rush you or pressure you into doing them, I was just wondering what was the status of them? If you feel like you’re too stressed and can’t do them, I completely understand and will respect ur answer no matter what!!! You are wonderful and give so much to the fandom already, so I truly appreciate everything that you’ve already done no matter the answer!

Again, i hope this doesn’t come off wrong. I would never want you to feel pressured or anything. I hope that you are well and that you’re taking care of your mental health. You are important and loved 💕💕

HELLO SWEET ANGEL please please please do not fear, this has come off as nothing but the kindest and most encouraging message, not pressuring at all!!! 💖💖 you’re too kind to me and it did make me tear up a bit 🥹🫶

I’m so sorry for any disappointment caused! I actually got a lot more requests than I expected (which is so wonderful honestly! It means so much that people actually trust me enough to write what they want to read ahhhh) which has been a little overwhelming.

Mentally I’m doing better now! So YES I will be getting round to some of them (not all) and it will go beyond October! As none of them are especially kinky, there’s nothing there that would be unique to Kinktober which is a good thing with this in mind 😁😁😁

Thank you so much for reaching out, this was genuinely such a sweet message ily 🫵🥹

[softspiderling]

i agreed with everything u said about rafe + sofia!! Tysm for replying!! Ily!!!

i also definitely want her to have a character outside of rafe, like to make her actually interesting and complex. And she’s definitely what rafe needs (100% agree with the riara hate!!!)

Another thing we her say when she’s giving rafe advice in ep 9, is “when you have a really tough choice to make the trick is to do the thing u regret the least…I learned that the hard way”…what does she mean??😭😭im so intrigued, cuz why would they add the line “I learned that the hard way” if they weren’t gonna expand on that?? And there’s an article that says Fiona palomo (Sofia) has been upped to a series regular!! And she makes sm sense (for all the people who says she doesn’t) cuz ward’s dead, they need to make another storyline for rafe

Anyway, sorry for ranting, i just think she’s so over-hated!!

yes ofc!!!!!! thanks for listening/reading😭

def! i think why a lot of people don’t like love interests is because they only exists to further another character, so i think they’d do her a disservice if she’s only there for rafe’s redemption arc

i agree, that statement was so like “okay, tell me more” lmao😭 i assumed it had to do with their job as a bartender, and we don’t know what happened for her to change from a degree to a bar job

and i didn’t know about fiona being upped to a series regular!! that’s super cool, bc i read the article about the new actors joining the cast and one of the new ones is supposed to “show interest” in rafe and she’s like in her mid-forties (i know drew is older than rafe) and i was like “pls no grooming storyline, rafe had always been in a vulnerable position with his dad

anyways i’m rambling again

[subskz]

“i promise to treat yr boy with plenty of care”

⚠️ BB4 SPOILERS

literally dizzy from crying as i write this HJSHDS but WE MOVE!!! missus rin yr a sick and twisted individual like actually diabolical bcuz why the fawk would you do this 2 me. channie my fucking baby…. i get y/n i understand ha trust nd believe but like 🥹🥹🥹 every fucking line of that breakup scene beat my ass like ya girl was fighting for her life,,, ion think i told you enough how many amazing lines bb has but legit when i read it every 5 seconds i’m like DAM out fucken loud especially what chan was saying like when he tells y/n it doesn’t matter what’s good for him, when he said “i think this hurts more than anything else you could ever do to me”….. dawg.

this sentence is the one that got me and idk why

iseul got me FAWKED UP btw y/n better than me bcuz her ass woulda been BLOCKEDT after that phonecall 🤣 nd when channie called himself a good boy…….yeah it’s fucking over for me. thx for ruining my life with this masterpiece fr yr really something else like it’s crazy how talented you are. ilysm queenie nd a bitch gone be praying that the next chapter won’t beat my ass like this one 🫶🏽

HELP ME LMFAOO 😭😭😭 i am innocent!! the reader is treating channie w plenty of care after all…too much care even…it just so happens that he doesn’t know how to accept it so it loops right back around into hurting him -_-;

dizzy from crying NOOO oh my god i’m so sorry babe ㅠㅠ i honestly had no idea how bb4 was gonna be received so needless to say i’m a bit floored by your reaction (in the best way!!) i do apologize that it caused some tears though, i hope you’re feeling better now after the mess of emotions in that chapter ^^; i can’t lie i was in the word doc fighting for my life too, channie and the reader’s breakup scene was definitely one of the most time-consuming to write i really decided to write 34k words of nothing but emotions knowing full well it isn’t my strong suit 😭 but it feels so fulfilling to me that you felt everything i hoped to convey and that you took notice of so many lines, thank u so much for being invested enough to do so <3

that sentence!! i’m so glad u liked it (or perhaps didnt like it LMAO) i did make myself a bit sad thinking abt it, how bb channie tries to beat everyone to the punch by mistreating himself in anticipation of them doing the same ㅠ and you have every right to dislike iseul HAHA she is definitely not in the running for friend of the year…but at least now the reader is being more open w her and they can both grow!

channie calling himself a good boy in such a vulnerable headspace was a bit of a cruel addition but i couldn’t help myself 💔 i owe u an apology for that one too hehe. thank you again for always taking the time to give such detailed feedback and showing me such kindness! i appreciate every msg u send and i really hope you’ll enjoy the final part! ily right back angel ^_^

[webslingingslasher]

https://www.tumblr.com/webslingingslasher/739224380667772928/hi-j-can-i-talk-ab-smth-thats-making-me-sad?source=share

thank you🫶🏻. i read this reply earlier and it made me cry bc you’re the only one who actually cares. thanks for letting me talk. also this is long and i’m v sorry but i just wanted to share w someone. part of it gets deep but i swear u don’t have to reply to that part, i fr just wanna make one point ab guys fighting

i hate violence so much. the jokes ab men punching walls don’t make me laugh and men beating the shit out of other guys to protect their girl isn’t attractive to me. i just hate all of it

it used to be funny and attractive until it wasn’t. my dad was so mad at me yesterday bc he was drunk and i wouldn’t give him more alc, that he punched a wall. i took a pic of the hole in my bedroom door and sent it my friends in our gc and we were laughing so hard at it bc white men and punching walls yk? It was so funny and we kept making jokes/memes ab it til i realised he punched the wall bc he couldn’t punch me (i closed my door and he couldn’t get in) and that’s a weird fucking realisation.

i just don’t like any of it and i’m having a v bad day. i told my mum and brother and nobody gets it. they both blame me. it’s ridiculous. and now i’m convincing myself that i DID do something wrong, when i know i didnt. it’s fucking crazy. he could beat the shit out of me (he wouldn’t) and they’d still find a way to make it my fault.

im gna send u my mums response (english is her 3rd language so ignore the mistakes) and she’s literally blaming me.

for context, my dad has a history of abuse (against my mum, yet she still defends him) and my mum is just as bad.

this is what she texted me:

“Ppl have limitations. If you push them they do things or say things and you turn and call names to those can’t bare any more. You should be a bit more patient and a bit more respectful to your parents

You shouldn’t keep shouting at him. We’re both doing our best even we are not the best I know, but as a return I thing we deserve to be respected , if you are better than us then you should understand what I am saying”

i just feel so alone. i stg it’s like no one understands.

anyways long story short i don’t like violence and i don’t find it attractive. i don’t shame anyone / any girls bc i’m a girls girl at heart, but i hate how people have romanticised violence bc it really does send the wrong message to guys and younger boys growing up and hearing “fights are so hot” and “it’s so sexy when guys beat the shit out of other guys” even if they deserved it. like even tho they wouldn’t do that to you, the reminder that they can makes me sick. i just don’t like it and i feel like i’m the only one :/ violence just makes me icky and anxious and scared even if it’s not directed to me/supposed to “protect me” (when it’s at another guy at a bar or whatever).

thanks for listening to my rant. ur legit my bestie. i have an anon emoji & we’re mutuals/we talk on here like all the time but i don’t wanna use it on this

ily

i don’t think you’re wrong for having this opinion or have it belong in an unpopular opinion category. i think the issue is that violence (esp w. men) has been so desensitized that it’s “normal.”

i also don’t like violence and grew up with an angry man in my home. i will never be an angry man and i will never be with one for that reason. but when i read something fictional i feel like im taking control back (? if that makes sense.) because i can “control” the violence.

your dad was wrong, and it was wrong of your mom to try and protect him. you deserve to feel safe and i’m sorry you don’t. i’m here always <3

[tteokdoroki]

just discovered ur works and omg, your writing is so good, especially the way you write the characters!!! I’m also visiting your ask for just a few questions abt your sae fic, after sickness after health (if you don’t mind haha)

what was the breaking point of sae and reader when they decided to have a divorce? It’s clear here that sae is still madly in love with her, but why did he agree to this/propose this? Was it a way to just humor her, knowing full well that she’ll eventually decide come back to him?

Thank you for gracing ha with your lovely fics again hehe 💕 have a nice day ahead!

WOOO this is so nice i am smiling at my phone like a fool !! thank u for reading and thank u for being here ily mwah mwah I LOVE questions they make me happy :]

so it was actually reader who initiated the divorce! i like to think that she’d been with sae for most of her teen/young adult life and it just wasn’t working for her anymore. they had stable jobs, kids, a good house — but sae wasn’t home n he wasn’t as warm as they used to be. reader felt as if they’d outgrown each other, being with one person for that long.

i think sae sort of entertained the idea of divorce, probably didn’t think the reader would actually go through with it all so yeah!! it was to humour her. sae knew that reader would need him, like she always has, and he would be there when she finally admitted that to herself.

it’s also a case that sae loves his girls, loves the reader and now that they’re not a permanent fixture in his life,, he wants it all back — to not take it for granted, even if that means pushing his way back into reader’s life !!

SORRY FOR THE RAMBLE FJJD i hope you have a good day as well my cutie

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

hi i just wanted to say that I absolutely love your writing so much 😭 do you have any tips on writing? The way you set scenes up, characterize the characters, & do dialogue is just genuinely so beautiful and feels so real??? like as in I can actually picture the characters saying and doing and acting the way you wrote them! also when I read your stuff it’s written with such care and grace it feels like a warm summer’s day and just feels so sweet and precious 😭 i love the way you describe things! all this to say I love your fics SO much and I’m so excited for the geto one! i also LOVED your gojo & geto fics too! 🩷 hope u have an amazing day!

ANON ……… 😥😥😥😥😥😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺 ur gonna make me cry ………….

first of all thank you so so so much …🥺🥺🥺 ur too sweet !!! aaa it means so much to know that you like my writing n fics, you have no idea !! i appreciate you taking the time to write this so much… :’3 <33

ur really too kind anon pshdjhdjf but im so so happy that u like my characterization n dialogue n everything …. 🥺🥺 comparing it to a warm summer’s day is also SO insanely kind hhhh …. i hope u know that i love u and im honoured that my writing can make u feel that way ….!! 😥😥🥺

aaa but as for tips….. i wish i had some super good ones but T_T…. for me the only real ”tip” i would give is to just b super self-indulgent w what u write …! like, as long as ur actually Writing it doesnt really matter what it is, and i think that ur ”style” will naturally appear if u write a lot. so thats. kind of ? a tip …?? sorry anon T_T … im sure there r other writers w more helpful posts on the topic but !! im honoured that ud think to ask me :’3 i think being inspired by other artists is also rly rewarding !! whenever i need writing inspo i just listen to yorushika or read richard siken or play disco elysium …. reading a lot will naturally make ur writing better i think !!

this was such a sweet message to read, i said it already but !! i appreciate it more than i could ever express !!!! ily anon and i hope you have an amazing day too 🥺🥺🥺 <333 (im so glad to hear that ur excited for the geto fic too…!! its a lil different from my usual writing w how its structured but it has a v special place in my heart so i hope ull enjoy it :’3)