#if this thing gets to me before Local Con i am going to make a kumashi hat for kumya

[glassedplanets]

perona onepiece wearing millefeuille jsk and black cat headdress with her trusty pal kuma kumyashi

[fanaticsnail]

Entertain Me

Masterlist here

Word count: 1,800+

Art by @skullfacedlady, who this fic is dedicated to.

Synopsis: He was bored. He was tired. He was... Lonely. What is a giant to do, but make a nuisance of himself before entertainment was given to him by the hands of the wardens who placed him in his chains. And what pretty entertainment you make for him.

Themes: Loki (Elbaf) x f!reader (no pronouns, can be read as afab), oral (reader), dub con, mdni, NSFW, smut, 18+, size difference (large), dark themes (implied cannibalism).

Notes: I am in love with this terrible man.

Thump.

Thump.

Thump.

Rocks shook with each rolling shudder of the giant’s shoulders and spine meeting with the large boulder they were bound to. The banished prince had been placed in his cell to rot in for too long, and solitude had finally begun to consume him. He figured if he was bored, he might as well wreak havoc to the natural flora and fauna population above his confinement by causing a landslide or two with his great strength.

Or, perhaps, something could happen. Something like-... What was happening presently.

The gates of the side of his enclosure had swung wide, a body shoved in, and promptly closed and locked behind them. The smaller figure ran to the gate and screamed to let them out while rattling the bars. Their desperation caused Loki’s brow to arch beneath the bandages before he rose to take a better look at his little guest.

“Oh…? And what is this little runt…” Loki purred with the deep rumble of his thick baritone reverberating throughout the confined prison cell, “...something for me to chew on, perhaps? Something for me to eat?” In a few short strides, Loki approached, his new spark of entertainment, and crouched to bring the figure closer to his large, beaming smile.

“Come now,” he teased, leaning ever closer, “Let me take a closer look at my new little thing, hm? Step closer to me, sweet thing. Let me see what I get to pick out of my teeth later.”

You made yourself as small as you could be. Turning to face him, you sunk back into the bars of the cell and clawed at them in fear. Your hands shook in fear, alongside your lip quivering in petrification. Darting your eyes over his, you came to terms with the man that would be your death.

This was it.

This was where you would be laid to rest. Another skull that the banished prince would sit atop. Another skeleton he would use to pick his teeth with. Another snack he would consume to entertain his solitary confinement, hopefully pleasing him enough to no longer continue to cause damage to the local community above his enclosure by rattling the rockface.

“Do you not talk, little one?” He goaded you, wrapping one of his bound hands around your scantily clad body. Thick fingers easily closed in around your waist as he picked you up to bring you closer. “That's fine. You don't need to talk.” Loki hoisted you up into the air while using his other hand to rip the sheets of material covering your body.

“I just need you to scream.”

“No-!” You yelped while kicking your legs out from under you, “No! No, please-!” Tears welled in your eyes and fled over your lash line as you descended into his mouth. Helplessness overcame you as the giant lulled his tongue out and widened his jaw.

He was going to eat you. The banished prince of Elbaf was going to claim your soul and gnaw on your corpse until you perish. Loki was going to tug your limbs off and destroy the last semblance of yourself you-...

“...-Stop resisting. I'm not going to hurt you,” he barked gruffly up at you. Tugging your legs apart, he chuckled at the position of your exposed cunt quivering over his porus tongue. You shrieked as he placed you atop the slippery surface and dragged you backwards and forwards to settle you. “That's it. Little screams while you ride me.”

“W-While I what?” You scrambled forward, placing your hand on the bridge of his large nose to find ground. “W-What?”

Removing his tongue from your core, he breathed his confession into you with a smoothness you were not expecting from the giant. Careful and intimate whispers were fled from his lips like poetry recited before a betrothed lover, regardless of the content of his words.

“I want you to scream for me. A minor entertainment to me while I waste away beneath the kingdom,” he smiled while gently brushing the tip of his nose over your belly, “You can grind on my tongue and cum in my mouth, or I can fist my cock with you wrapped around it. The choice is yours, little runt. What is it going to be?”

All thoughts of prior consumption for nourishment had left your body, which was now overcome with a new unnerving curiosity. When he ripped your garments from you, you assumed it was due to digestion in his stomach acids - not to place your quivering and sensitive pussy on his body and watch you grind against it to meet your ecstasy. Absolutely not to swipe a tongue that matches the size from the top of your head to your toes, sliding seamlessly between your folds and forcing you towards your climax.

“T-... Tongue,” you whisper, turning your face away from the giant to hide your shame. He chuckled while moving to recline against the rockface he was lying bored against moments prior and settled down with you still in his grip. He took your form in a clawed grip and pressed you against his cheeks, slowly rubbing his face with your smaller frame while inhaling deeply.

“We… Are going to have so much fun together, little one,” he breathed deeply, enjoying the flush of your frightened skin against his revealed flesh, “That’s, if you do a good job.”

You shuddered, bracing your hands out in front of you to stabilise you against his face. At that expression, you gave him a puzzled look and rapidly batted your eyelashes in hasted succession.

“If I-?”

“-You are going to ride my tongue, little one,” he purred with a rasped growl in his tone, “And I am going to sit back and enjoy the show. Go on,” he rolled his shoulders against the pale boulders and lulled his head back on a nook within, “Entertain me.”

Without further warning, he thrust your body against his tongue, spreading your folds apart and dragging the porous surface against your cunt in a tentative lick. He held you firmly and adjusted your hands to perch on his nose and removed his hands completely from your body. Loki splayed himself out to the sides and focussed his breath while you steadied your mount on his tongue.

Furrowing your brows, you slowly gave a tested grind against his face, attempting to pay no mind to how large his teeth were to your much smaller frame. The fear continued to hold you back while you timidly began to rock to and fro on each follicle decorating his palate.

“Don't test me,” he growled with a muffled bark in his tone, “Ride my tongue and cum on it. Let me taste that sweetness you're hiding from me. Entertain me.” The rumble of his voice vibrated his tongue and forced a moan out of your lips at the shockwave pulsing through your body. True to form, you gripped his nose and began to form a steady rhythm grinding your pussy over his tongue.

You focussed on anything else: any other mirage your mind could focus on. Picturing your bedroom and placing a pillow between your thighs, you pretend to be back in that space against your mattress and grinding your cunt against the material. Slowly back and forward to chase the mounting pleasure of your clit caressing the cotton sheets instead of-.

“-That's it… that's it. Find that pace and ride me.”

You shook your head, finding the image of your bedroom to slowly dissipate in favor of reminding you where you truly were. You were not in your bedroom. You were not on your bed. You were not grinding your sensitive heat over a pillow and dampening it with your slick essence.

You were riding Loki, the banished prince of Elbaf, by grinding on his slippery tongue and feeling it pry your thighs apart with every thrust.

Loki’s cock lay untouched and throbbing in his pants, begging to be freed and pumped by one of his large fists. He felt the waves of lust come over him, but chose to rest his hands beside him, palms up and humble while his new little toy used him the way you pleased. Sensing the apprehension, he gave you a warning growl to refocus your momentum.

“Ride. Me.”

You gulped back your shame and bore down onto the bulbs and surface of his tongue, chasing your high and forcing yourself to focus. Do a good job, and he'll let you live. Entertain him, and he might treat you well. Cum on his tongue, give into the feeling, and feel the sparks of your muscles contract and throb against his palate.

The slippery organ began to feel good against your body. The feeling of giving yourself completely over to this primal urge caused you to cast aside all embarrassment and fear in favor of the sparks teetering in your vision. Your stomach bound in knots while your lips began to gasp and sigh softly.

“Louder.”

You flinched at the order, but obeyed the giant. Your sultry moans fled your lips while your clit dances against his muscle. Mewls and cries continued to flee you as you gripped hard on his nose. Your stomach flexed and thighs clenched around him, bucking wildly to chase that final wave as the coil inside you bound tight enough to break.

“Cum. Cum for me.”

The world split and shattered like a mirror against slate. Sparks of silver and rings of gold fizzed and erupted as your cum splashed onto his much larger tongue. You screamed out at the intensity while rocking, grinding and bucking to ride it out on your captor’s tongue - just as he had instructed you to do so.

Loki felt his cock twitch, sticky precum dampening his briefs and screaming for just a little touch. His eyes rolled back as he felt you use him completely, becoming hypnotised by the sweet melody spilling from your lips while you came hard. He could find himself coming quite accustomed to this pretty song thrust into his ears a few times a day - if not all day. Anything for a little entertainment in his captivity.

As you came down from your high against the giants tongue, you curled forward and slouched against his lips and nose. His tongue gave you a few lazy licks from ass to clit and back again to smear your slick over his to clean you. Slowly closing his lips, you felt the ridges of his smiling teeth below your spent cunt. Placing you on his upper lip, he steadied you while whispering softly up at you.

“Just you relax for a moment, little one,” he cooked at you, moving his hands over the buckles and furrs of his belt to unburden his cock from its confines, “Just you catch your breath.” He fished his achingly hard cock out of his pants and began to languidly stroke the engorged mass, smearing the precum over his shaft and chuckling as you recovered.

“We're going to have so much fun together.”

Tag list: @mfreedomstuff @daydreamer-in-training @since-im-already-here @gingernut1314 @writingmysanity @i-am-vita @indydonuts @feral-artistry @the-light-of-star @empirenowmp3 @racfoam @sunflowersatori @carrotsunshine @skullfacedlady @jintaka-hane @thenotsofantasticlifestory @ane5e

[the-grimm-writer]

Hii i love your page and i was wondering... imagine billy loomis stalking you and you find yourself in a haunting adeline situation. Being chased around by him in a house of mirrors. If you don't know what i am talking about, please search "haunting adeline house of mirror". i promis you, you won't be disappointed. ANYWAYS LOVE YOU❤

I love that book so much 😭 now I wanna reread it ughh. It's one of my favorites!! And the sequel Hunting Adeline killed me, i still haven't recovered from the first half of that book :( I love you too!! 💕

Sorry this took so long! But this is perfect for Halloween <3

Warnings: Dub-con, fear play, forced orgasm, lots of reflections, some praising, fem reader

It was dead silent in the house of mirrors. Outside, you could hear the high-pitched screeches of fear followed by cheerful laughter as people ran in and out of the haunted house. It was a busy night at your local haunted carnival. Even pushing midnight, when they were supposed to be closing.

“Hello?” Your stomach dropped when you were greeted with silence. Was this part of the experience, or was someone playing some prank on you?

The deeper you walked, the more eerie everything felt. It was getting quiet and dark, seeing your warped reflections made you pause, carefully looking past yourself and trying to get any details of your surroundings.

Your breath caught in your throat when you saw something behind you. A flash passed in the corner of your eye, and you jumped, immediately turning, trying to find what it was.

Something was off. You felt it the moment you walked in and the actor at the front shut the door. It was never so dark before, and you weren't used to being alone, feeling like your reflection was taunting you, trying to trick you into believing something was there that wasn't.

The more you walked around, the more it felt like your reflection was beginning to warp. Different shapes and sizes making your head spin. You stopped walking for a moment, taking a deep breath. Your heart sped up when you saw the flash of black again, making you yelp and jump back.

It was just part of the experience you signed up for, right? What's the point of a haunt if it didn't scare you? You were scared and excited.

Looking at one of your reflections, you tried reassuring yourself. This was always your favorite thing, so why were you suddenly feeling so paranoid? Like someone was chasing after you, toying with you.

A scream left your lips as you saw someone standing behind you. A man with tan skin, brown hair, and a white shirt most people would think was covered in fake blood, but you knew too well it was real.

A rough hand slammed against your mouth. His arm slid around you and locked you in place, hot breath hitting the shell of your ear as he leaned in close to you.

"Did you miss me, (Y/n)?"

Your blood ran cold, heart pounding in your chest as you looked in the mirror that disfigured your reflections, looking right at him.

He was the last person you expected to see - the last person that you wanted to see.

You shook your head, struggling against him, which just made him smirk, his dark brown eyes cold and taunting as he looked down at him.

"I don't like it when you lie to me, you know." His hand that wasn't keeping you pinned against him slowly trailed down your body. "Why else would you be at a silly little haunted house? I'm trying to get scared by fake killers when you have a real one right here."

"It's a tradition." You said back once he uncovered his mouth, voice trembling as his hand slowly moved down and wrapped around your throat. "I go every year."

Halloween was once your favorite time of year. Thrilled to go to haunted houses in your area that provided that rush of fear and excitement in a safe environment.

But then one the Ghostface killers barged into your life, changing you for the worst. And even when you denied it, both of you knew a weak jumpscare wasn't enough to keep you satisfied anymore.

“You know, you told me once you wanted to experience what it’s like be in a horror movie, didn't you?" He chuckled, keeping you pressed against his chest. "I know you, (Y/n), better than you know yourself."

No, you never wanted your darkest fantasies to come to light. You never imagined that someone would find out about them. Much less a psychopathic killer like him.

You should hate him, fight against him, scream for help like any sane woman would. Yet you found yourself rubbing your thighs together as his stalker kept you close to him. Even if you do hate him, he always found a way to make your body respond to him.

Chills ran down your spine, your body shaking with fear but you couldn't deny the wave of desire that shook through your core as you watched in the mirrors him lean in to you so he could press his lips against your ear. "I'm here to fill those fantasies for you. I always have been." He pulled his hand away from your mouth so you could speak.

"Billy." You shakily said his name, finally speaking up. "I thought you were dead, or you were hiding somewhere." You felt so foolish now, thinking that would stop him from getting to you. You tried to force yourself to go back to normal by being here. One of your biggest mistakes.

"You know nothing could keep me away from you, sweetheart." He said, teasing you as he pulled the hem of your shirt up before he unclipped your bra.

You stayed stiff as he pulled off your shirt. Even when you turned and tried to move away, your reflections taunted you, forced to watch as he stripped you of more than just your clothes.

"Did you miss me that much, (Y/n)?" He chuckled. "Try to replace all those feelings I gave ya? I was only gone for a few weeks, I told you I was just tying up some loose ends then I'd be back for you."

How could you forget your personal stalker? The infamous masked killer that took extra pleasure in torturing and terrorizing you in multiple different ways.

"No!" You bit out, trying to maintain your tough act for as long as you could.

A whimper left your throat, refusing to admit or deny it. Of course you had those fantasies. Wasn't it normal? It wasn't bad if it just remained a fantasy.

“Look at yourself, (Y/n). Look at us. This is who we are." You shivered as his lips pressed against the shell of your ear. "Those weak little haunted houses weren't made for us. You need the real deal."

You almost screamed as he yanked your hair back hard, forcing you to stare at your reflections. "Admit it." He demanded, his eyes connecting with yours through the wavy mirror.

"I..." You took a deep, shaky breath. "I need you, Billy."

He smirked at this. "Are you scared (Y/n)?" You whined, nodding your head as his other hand slipped into your pants, rubbing your pussy against your underwear, making him chuckle as he felt the wetspot that was already there. "Yeah, I can tell. You're fuckin terrified."

Roughly, he yanked your pants and underwear down, never once breaking his intense gaze on you as he did the same for himself. The sound of his pants unzipping ringing in your ears.

"Mine." He hissed as he lined himself up with you, making you scream as he started roughly thrusting into your tight hole without a moments hesitation. "All fucking mine."

You cried out as his cock slammed into you, his hand gripping your hair tight, forcing your back to arch back, never breaking eye contact through the mirrors until you looked back down.

After a minute you slowly started adjusting to his roughness, a broken moan leaving your lips as he hit the spot you knew you were most sensitive at. Pain and pleasure twisting together, how it always felt being with Billy.

Billy's grunts filled your ears, making you look at him in the mirrors as he held onto you like you were about to disappear from his sight. Your breasts bouncing as he continued to fuck you, the sound of skin slapping against naked skin continued to fill your ears.

"Still so tight for me." He chuckled against you, pushing into your cunt deep. "My pretty little slut."

Shame went through you, unable to stop the small moans that left your lips while he pounded into you. "Billy!" You yelped as he turned your head to the side and slammed his lips against yours.

He kissed you with an overwhelming passion, his tongue slipping into your mouth to take complete control. You weakly kissed him back, unable to keep up with him until he pulled away, letting you take deep shaky breaths as his cock stayed buried inside you.

Your small gasps against his lips caused him to growl softly, his speed increasing as he pounded into you almost with a primal, animalistic desire.

"I'm never letting you go again." He said softly as his hips jerked against yours, keeping your body pressed against his, his breath hitting your cheek. "Now cum." He growled as your pussy throbbed around him, his free hand slapping your ass hard before roughly rubbing your clit.

You whined a bit, clenching your fists together since you had nothing to hold onto as he pounded into you until your eyes started crossing.

"Too - too fast!" You whined out, biting your bottom lip hard as you felt the familiar pressure building up.

His grip on your hair tightened, his pace increasing in response as he grunted. "That's not what I said. Now be a good girl and do as I say."

"I'll see you when you get home, (Y/n)." He chuckled, kissing the top of your head before you collapsed, slowly walking out of the house of mirrors. Finally leaving you alone. Just for a little bit more, at least.

You whimpered, nearly forgetting everything as you screamed out, tears burning in your eyes as you felt yourself cumming hard, flooding his cock with your juices.

Billy swore, but you didn't hear him as you shook against him, body filled with a pleasure only he was able to twist out of you. And you knew he was getting closer by the way he held onto you, throwing his head back.

He slammed into you one more time before he finally stopped, letting out a satisfied groan as thick, hot cum filled you up. Your legs were shaky from your own orgasm, unable to keep yourself up as he finally let go of your hair and pulled himself out of your leaky pussy.

You laid there panting, body sweaty as your twisted reflections surrounded you, replaying what had just happened like a rewinded tape.

Slowly, you forced yourself to stand up and pull your clothes back on, the twisted mirrors never failing to remind you. You were just as sick as him.

[lucenare]

A letter to the Fable SMP

I'm going to pour my heart out into this post. So sit down, take a breath, and get ready for a walk through all the ways my life has been impacted. This is pretty heavy.

Warnings: discussions of bullying, death of people and animals

If you don't know me; Hi, my name is Rin Silas. You know me better as tumblr user Lucenare.

This starts before Fable began, with a buildup to me losing my love of cosplay, and what brought that back.

When I was in high school, I was a horror SFX cosplayer. I was going to cons all the time, finding my niche in the local cosplay community. Some of my friends came to be professional cosplayers. I did not. When I got diagnosed with POTS, cosplay became hard for me. I wasn't sure how to do it. I stopped being active. My self image plummetted. And one of my "friends" turned out to be an awful person. A professional cosplayer, who was a bully and made that self image worse. I couldn't go to certain cons for years because of her. She would bully people until they left if she saw them-- and she was so popular in the community. It crushed me, to see her rise in the community. It stripped the joy out of cosplay. I didn't *want* to be in this space, and it soured the craft.

I wanted to get back into it, but I was unsure of how. I started working on clothes again, making my outfit for senior prom. At my highest point mentally in all of high school, finally being creative in a way that made me feel good again, with a clear path for college; the world shut down. With all that free time, and multiple generations worth of fabric hordes, I started sewing again. My grandmother got me a graduation present- a heavy duty sewing machine all to myself. No more borrowing my moms. I sewed so many plushies durring that time- but I still wasnt making cosplays again.

And then the DreamSMP happened.

And then I signed up for Tiktok.

And suddenly, I had all of these tiktok cosplayers cosplaying minecraft cubitos all over my feed. No fear, just fun. All different body types- going crazy with it, not being "canon accurate"-- two things my "friend" had strongly ridiculed me for. And it was great. It felt so good, from my heavily sterilized cosplay scene, to see so much freedom and love put into it. I was too scared to cosplay again, but I saw a love put into it that I hadn't seen since I went to BLERD, a smaller local con geared towards minorities. All of these cosplayers- whos names we all know, as so many of them were part of Fable- let me see the love in something that had been taken from me again. And years later, I love cosplaying again. Without this, i don't know if I would have started cosplaying again.

And then those cosplayers started to cosplay their own characters- and they were all *connected*. It was such a pure form of enjoyment- watching people love what they had made enough to cosplay from it. And then I found myself tuning in to Sherbert's streams, mid corruption arc.

And that's how it started. My love for Fable. The impact it had on me- the vessel for healing my relationship with cosplay. I also healed my relationship with makeup in this time.

Throughout 2022, Fable was a source of fun, and something to look forward to. I loved it. It became a hyperfixation. I started cosplaying again, privately. I wanted to show my love for what was bringing me joy. As my grandmother who gifted me my sewing machine's health worsened, I met George witchcrafting in person for the first time, my work closed for remodel, and I became my grandmother's caretaker. Being woken up in the night to help her, until eventually I was sleeping at her house. Stay awake until 3 playing splatoon, wake up and watch whatever fable lore was happening to pass the time around caring for her.

By the end of this, I was waking up at 8 am and going to bed at 3 am, waking my mother up so I could get a couple hours of much needed sleep before doing it all again. Having to call my brother to watch her for a couple minutes at a time so I could go outside and cry. She was only on hospice for a week, that's how fast she got bad. She passed a week before Christmas, the night before my work re-opened. I was the only one awake.

Fable SMP became my escape from the grief and pain. The funeral was the day after my 21st birthday.

In Febuary 2023, I came home from my trip to visit my beloved GB for our anniversary, and my cat was sick. She passed a couple days later. Fable was once again my primary outlet. Being silly on tumblr was my primary outlet. I changed my url on my minecraft blog from craftsunemineku to lucenare. As more random cast members started following me, Ghosty started to mess with me in replies. I never let anyone know my twitch, though. I didn't want anyone to. I wanted to remain an Entity on tumblr.

Until Ghosty send me a meme, with an accidental spoiler of Allerion's mural in it. And that was too funny to pass up. The next time Ghosty was live, I subbed with prime, and hit him with the famed "oh tumblr user ghostyjpg we're really in it now" in my sub message.

I wouldn't be where I am today without that, truly. We were silly goofy, I got goofier on tumblr. I had been wanting to get back into streaming, as I had started to right before my grandmother's health had declined and had to stop almost immediately. I became a mod for Haunt, Ghosty's viewer smp.

In early July, I lost one of my guinea pigs. Jack's partner, Phineas. Phin was a birthday present I got when I turned 17. He was my emotional support for grief especially, and the world took him away when I needed him the most. A month later, the world took away my other cat, too. Three pets, and my grandmother.

Being Tumblr User Lucenare got me through the worst time of my life.

And then I started streaming again. And Ghosty grabbed me by the scruff of my neck and flung me. And because of that, I'm now a streamer, I've made so many friends. I changed my major-- the trajectory my life was on changed.

And here I am.

Without Fable, I would have never healed my relationship with cosplay the way I did. Without Fable, I would never have met the people I have. Without Fable, I wouldn't have started streaming again. Without Fable, I wouldn't have started Terramortis.

I hope that Terramortis can do for someone a fraction of what Fable did for me.

To Heyhay: thank you for being a creator I could look up to. For inspiring me to bring my crazy UV makeup into cosplay. Sorry Rae's Big Naturals ended up being a major bit on my streams, I dont know how that happened. Also thank you for the elytra tutorial on your youtube that is my Rock for texture pack things.

To Sherbert: thank you for helping heal my relationship with cosplay, even before you knew I existed. I will always appreciate that. Thank you for inspiring me to script out CMVs, showing your processes to the world, and inspiring me to change my major to one I actually enjoy.

To Ocie: Thank you for helping me get my dog back from Ethan and Eagle on EOD in season 4. Unbreakable bond of theres a rule written about us.

To Beck: my fellow old bay hater, thank you for joining my smp and all the silly conversations we've had. I cant wait to work with you more going forward.

To Connor: One day we need to make teas together on stream. You are a delight to know and never let anyone tell you otherwise. I can't wait to see where these bugs go.

To Ven: thank you for joining in on the occasional splaturday, even in chat. You are so brave for the costuming you're doing right now, I hope we can hang out more in the future and do cool things

And to Ghosty: Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for everything. Without you, I don't know where I'd be. Thank you for playing splatoon with me, for the silly messages I get, for all the little spoilers, accidental or otherwise. Thank you for helping me through one of the worst years of my life, before you even knew me. I genuinely did not know if I was going to make it through 2023. I did, in no small part thanks to you. I made it through and I thrived and the foundation for it was so simple. A meme. Some jokes. An accidental spoiler.

It's funny how fast your life can change.

So, to the cast of Fable:

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for building this story and this community. This community that saved me, that guided me through the dark. That allowed me to meet my dear friends that I have now. I am meeting so many people at vidcon this year, so many friends that I didn't have a year ago are now some of my closest.

I can't wait to see what comes next, and I can't wait to create with some of you.

Thank you, so much, for everything.

[mirrorball-leclerc]

track 004. vete a la fregada

─── ❝ te miré con alguien más, vete a la fregada ❞ ───

masterlist // previous // next

liked by maejones, logansargeant, lilymhe and others

isabellaperez pre-miami dump. local american boy is thrilled to be at his first home race.

tagged: oscarpiastri, maejones, maxverstappen1, danieljricciardo, schecoperez, logansargeant, alex_albon, lewishamilton

view all comments

landonorris why does oscar get to be in a photo dump before me this year?

↳ isabellaperez because oscar's more tolerable than you

↳ oscarpiastri wow.

↳ isabellaperez sorry koa!

↳ oscarpiastri can you not call me koala? thanks.

↳ isabellaperez as long as you call me bella i'll call you koa.

maejones wow. we look great

↳ isabellaperez dump max and date me. please. i don't care if nonsense is about him

austinriley lookin' good

↳ arthur_leclerc just got the biggest biggest ick ever.

↳ dulceperez vete a la fregada pendejo

↳ danieljricciardo not-so-kindly fuck off. no one wants you here.

↳ charles_leclerc i can and will run you over with my car.

↳ maxverstappen1 "i hit you like bang"

↳ logansargeant i don’t even know you but i’ve heard many things. stay away or the war criminal will be sent after you

↳ user93 max is on twitter, he's seen the tweets

↳ user31 logan gets the way things work around here. love my fellow american

user49 i didn't know she was close to logan and oscar, guess she is.

user06 BABY LECLERC APPEARANCE! REJOICE!

↳ user85 i love how none of us know what baby leclerc looks like or what her name is.

↳ user06 natalia and charles are amazing parents and their friends are great too. they're keeping this secret for them because it's important to them.

lewishamilton when did you take that picture?

↳ isabellaperez oh, i've been holding onto that one for ages. figured this was the week to let the people see it.

user46 the williams boys look so happy.

she wasn't nervous, fuck max verstappen for thinking she was. isabella perez was not nervous to be seeing her asshole ex for the first time in months. so then why did she ignore his voice, that called out for her to stop? because she was late for a meeting with christian, that's why, not because she was nervous. okay, so maybe there was no meeting with christian but in her defense she was scared, not nervous. isabella picked up the pace when she heard his voice getting closer, failing to notice the boy in papaya standing in her path. she crashed into him, causing him to lose his balance, nearly toppling over.

"oh, shit, i am so sorry. i didn't see you," she quickly said. she turned to look back and noticed him getting closer and held her breath. oscar followed her line of sight, and noticed him, it was hard not to, his tank and tattoos made him hard to miss.

he approached them a smile on his face, "bella, how are you?"

isabella scowled, "my name is isabella, not bella."

austin laughed, as if he was catching up with an old friend, "you didn't mind before."

"i did, you just didn't seem to give fuck on what i minded or not."

"we need to go," oscar said, grabbing isabella's hand, "charles invited us for lunch, remember?"

"and you are?" austin questioned, not letting them make their escape just yet. oscar stared at him, "oscar piastri."

"oh, pastry boy," austin smirked, "you're not all that special. how's life treating you at mclaren? better than alpine?"

oscar pulled isabella back, noticing the girl was ready to throw a punch or two at austin. he didn't want to be the one to tell sergio that his niece needed to be bailed from jail for assaulting a guy. the perez girl was fuming at austin, but it wasn't anything oscar hadn't heard before. at this point, it was water off a duck's back.

"life's great at mclaren, thanks for asking. now, if you'll excuse us, we have to catch up with some friends. you do know what those are right? or do you not have any?"

austin opened his mouth to reply, but by the time he had found something to say the duo had left him behind. isabella was laughing loudly, still holding oscar's hand, while the boy was telling her something. they were off in their own world and austin wondered if there was more to them then they let on.

duckling god, i'm begging you, please make my feelings for this man go away.

paddock dad i told you so

duckling you know what seb, i don't need this right now. not when i'm facing feelings for a fucking koala and my shit ex is in miami at the grand prix

paddock dad HE'S WHAT? WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME?? NOW I WON'T BE ABLE TO BE IN MIAMI!

honey badger it was in the groupchat seb

paddock dad ISABELLA STAY AWAY FROM HIM

super max i think oscar has got us covered.

paddock dad what’s that supposed to mean?

duckling hey, should i start a red bull support group? like current drivers and former drivers?

honey badger please stop trying to change the subject, what’s this about you having feelings for oscar? and why the sudden epiphany?

duckling he held my hand

super max going back to the red bull support group thing, i vote no because then you’d have to include mark webber?? oscar’s manager?

duckling i forgot about him…🫢 but pierre and alex…

paddock dad i wish i could forget mark

duckling that answers seems a little fruity to me but okay.

honey badger MULTI 21 SEB!!!

paddock dad LET IT GO ALREADY! honey badger NEVER!

duckling are you sure the two of you didn’t date? there was so much tension between you two

paddock dad like you and oscar? super max i expected that sort of comment from daniel not seb

duckling besides what could possibly go wrong this weekend?

liked by fernandoalo_oficial, pierregasly, danieljricciardo and others

redbullracing and for the second year in a row mr. worldwide isn't present at the miami grand prix. excuse me while i go cry. peep the picture of max being utterly in love with charles.

tagged: maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc, landonorris, schecoperez, fernandoalo_oficial, pierregasly

view all comments

📍redbullracing REJOICE SALTY SPICE HAS GIVEN UP ON TRYING TO CONTROL ME! MR.305 PLEASE COME TO THE VEGAS GRAND PRIX!!!

user84 wonder how many pitbull memes isabella has saved.

↳ redbullracing the limit does not exist.

nataliaruiz never seen someone as in love with charles as max is and charles is my boyfriend.

maejones someone remind max that he and charles have girlfriends

logansargeant i will never understand your love for pitbull

↳ redbullracing "this for everybody going through tough times. believe me, been there, done that."

danieljricciardo please stop playing pitbull in the garage.

↳ redbullracing no, you will appreciate pitbull or i'll start playing gasolina again.

↳ maxverstappen1 please don't i can't handle hearing the words, "zúmbale mambo pa' que mis gata' prendan los motore" again

↳ redbullracing and yet, you know the words.

↳ user90 never thought max verstappen would know the words to a daddy yankee song. this is peak humor.

↳ maxverstappen1 i don't know the words, i googled them and i pasted them in the comments

↳ redbullracing BOO! YOU WHORE!

user42 isabella terrorizing the red bull garage with pitbull and daddy yankee was not on my 2023 f1 bingo card

↳ isabellaperez they must learn to appreciate the music of my people.

↳ dulceperez we're mexican, pitbull is cuban and daddy yankee is puerto rican. they are not our people.

↳ isabellaperez you're right it's time to terrorize them with paquita.

↳ schecoperez canta le a austin rata de dos patas

↳ user31 damn that's foul.

user29 with every red bull post i am reminded why isabella is my favorite admin.

sebastian vettel someone want to tell me what the hell happened?

arthur leclerc OSCAR ALMOST THREW HANDS WITH AUSTIN

oscar piastri snitch, also, that's not true!

mae jones in oscar's defense, i almost bit someone's ankles and i genuinely think max almost punched someone.

max verstappen that is very true. that klootzak is so fucking lucky christian stopped me from punching his arrogant face.

sebastian vettel what happened?

dulce perez well, austin was being a dickhead and tried to get into the red bull garage and gp stopped him. which is when he started shouting like a maniac for my sister and she came out of the garage, which we all told her not to do, but she never listens, like always. bailey winters which is when, oscar, two garages down, heard the commotion and left his own garage, and saw austin stepping closer to isa, when he stood in front of her and told austin to leave, in the kindest way possible. but of course, he didn't, started calling isa his "sloppy seconds and a whore" mae jones then max, checo, danny, and christian, who were all in a meeting, stormed out of the red bull garage, because gp had told them what was happening, heard him say all this crap while oscar's yelling at austin to go away, still in the nicest way possible. max walked over, told him to fuck off and things really escalated when austin asked if isabella had slept with someone on the team to get her job. freya vettel that's when oscar and max really lost their shit, started screaming at him to get the fuck out of the red bull garage, he still didn't. christian is trying to get security but they were busy solving a different problem, so it took a while, danny and checo are trying to comfort isa, who's on the verge of tears. then max winds up ready to throw the first punch, christian sees this, grabs max and pulls him away, while oscar and austin are shouting at each other. lando norris that's also when someone let's arthur free, so this man barges out of the ferrari garage like a man on a mission and is the only one to touch austin. he pushes him out of the way tells him to get lost, curses him out in french, and that's when security finally escorts him away and this man is still shouting but security tells him to stop causing a disturbance or else they'll ban him forever. that's when he shut up.

sebastian vettel arthur pushed someone? that's the part of the story i find hardest to believe.

arthur leclerc ok it's not like an asshole shows up at every race and starts shit with my best friend.

arthur leclerc and if charles has a bloody nose, it wasn't me. but he did hold me back and was met with an elbow to the face. charles leclerc a mistake on my part truly.

max verstappen my only regret is not punching that klootzak.

sebastian vettel isa, are you okay? how are you doing?

isabella perez i'm hanging out with little jewel, that's the best form of therapy. look at that cutie. who can stay sad around her?

oscar piastri you should get a dog.

dulce perez we should get her to go to therapy first. then she can get a dog.

isabella perez i'm fine. it's not like i almost had a panic attack in front of everyone? oh wait... i did.

sebastian vettel isabella, you should go to therapy. maybe that will help you conquer your fear of falling in love again.

isabella perez i'm don't have a fear of falling in love. daniel jones-ricciardo you do. max verstappen you do.

sebastian vettel we can't keep being your therapists

isabella perez uh, yes you can?

daniel jones-ricciardo go to therapy isa.

OLLIE!

i'm not going to be your therapist isabella.

that's not what i was going to ask you

yes, you were. can't you go bother arthur? your best friend? or dulce, your sister?

arthur's telling me to get therapy. i don't need therapy. dulce's annoying, don't tell her i said that, she'd kill me.

yes, you do. based on what i've read, you have a crush on oscar and don't want to admit it because your ex messed up the way you receive love.

okay, when did this become a call out isabella session?

what were you going to ask me?

do you think i should get a dog?

you can barely talk about your feelings, what makes you think you can be responsible for another life?

at least it's not a child

please, do not have a child.

why would i need to have a child when i have you?

ollie bearman i think isabella just became my grid mom??

arthur leclerc what the fuck???

taglist: @burningcupcakefire @arkhammaid @sunflower-golden-vol6 @applopie @lorarri @mypage-myfandoms @bb-swift @thewannabewriter @you-bleed-just-toknowyouarealive @stopeatread @hobiismyhopeu @lilsiz @alessioayla @niniluvsainz @au-ghosttype @cowboylikemets1989 @justtprachisblog @rmeddar123 @nichmeddar @landonorizzz @unluckyyoshi @Mimolovescookies @brekkers-whore @natcha888 @camdensreg @mycenterfold @dear-fifi @prongsvault @kaa212 @anxxiousaries @julesbabey1 @julesbabey @georgeparisole @Smnthnclj @dan3avocado @melissayalene @nothanqks @nikfigueiredo @bella-1 @namgification

strikethrough means i couldn't tag you

¡leclerc-s speaks! yeah, i tried making austin the biggest asshole i possibly could. kinda hate him and i wrote his character. this has been sitting in my drafts for a full week already but i just didn't think it was good enough, but oh well.

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

[vaguely-concerned]

Happy Grace/Pan Vibes For The Soul

"How can I, with you in the way?"/"(Laughs) The floor is yours!"

First of all I'm honestly just so charmed by how genuinely delighted Pan seems to be at watching Grace finding her voice and learning to enjoy using her power, I think that's where I started to take a shine to him. (also seems quite central to his character/romance in general because it's a thing that recurs through their relationship -- he tells her "I'm enjoying it if you're enjoying it" straight out at one point and that's definitely always there in the subtext). He buys a music studio for her just in case she ever wants to return to making music again even when she's not the muse anymore just because he loves her singing and has seen it make her happy before, how is that not the sweetest goddamn thing in the world??? Pan and Oracle in shared first place as stans for Grace musically

For real though, 'I Can Teach You' is sooo... even when you don't join forces with him Pan teaches Grace so many things in that song, it's a thematic tutorial as well as a gameplay one in many ways. For me I think the most impactful subtexts are 'This is a tricky situation, change is here and it's difficult, but you have more control and agency here than you think' ("You're in control!" "It's your song!"), and this sense that, y'know... there can be joy and playfulness and discovery in setting out into the unknown, not just fear and uncertainty.

dude... I wanna be in cahoots with & sing playful duets with you for the rest of my life bro (amorous intent)

Pros: Hell yeah look at her go! 🥰

Cons: Uh-oh look at her go! 😬

I love that Grace can bring Pan's motif into 'Challenging A Queen' and be called the fuck out by Persephone btw. why u keepin' your guard up girl uwu

'you gave up the only thing worth having -- for your little mortal friend' he says, giving up everything for his little once-again-mortal friend literally the next day fhsdkjfhsad who are you fooling buddy? not even yourself at this point surely??? (dialogue for if you save Freddie by giving up the eidolon)

my observations on the grace/pan dynamic across the different personality traits (yes I've done a run of each romancing him I am normal about it):

Clever!Grace: Pan seems to set out to be a trickster mentor of sorts, and Clever!Grace flips the uno reverse card on him and goes ‘Not if I trickster mentor you first bitch be honest about your feelings or perish challenge engage’. Probably the most birds of a feather combination (and indeed it’s the Blue version of the soundtrack that shows off his romance — also his tie and glasses are on the cover for that one :) ). 

Charming!Grace: Performative puppy dog eyes-off whenever either of them wants to get their way. 🥺4🥺. Pan is provably a soft touch from the Charming option to find Persephone before Challenging A Queen so I feel he probably tends to buckle faster but it’s a close thing. Local trickster god completely disarmed by someone being nice to him.

Kickass!Grace: “Be real with me or Imma kick your ass”/”Promise? ;)”/"...>:)"

I am always thinking about the way he steps up in The Trial when romanced (and the way it's the only one where Athena is genuinely shocked and appalled fhskadj). there is something about him that's like... he keeps protesting against 'innocent' and he's probably right haha, but there is certainly an almost fundamental lack of any active malice there that he doesn't fully admit to himself or to grace until this moment. he is doing this for grace, but it is also a confession about something really deep in himself that seems to be very vulnerable for him in its sincerity -- that he really doesn't mean to or more importantly want to cause harm (I don't wanna dance/with blood on my hands). admitting to his own basically good heart finally seems to be the bigger, scarier thing for him, more than facing the prospect of dying. he's experiencing the mortifying ordeal of being known and I for one am so proud of him

"I'm just here for the dance"

the way he sings that just to her and completely changes the meaning of it from what he said with it before, from using it to keep her out to inviting her in...

also can you imagine how badly the kill bill sirens must be going off in Grace's head in all variations of this scene no matter who steps up, considering what happened to Freddie just days before....... oof!

*incensed whisper* are you fucking kidding me with this what am I supposed to do with myself here

love these too

I really like the visual repeats of crossing the pond to the tree and back as a metaphor for them getting closer (or rather, him letting her closer, it is very much His Space). he retreats back there towards the end of 'Share This Dance', and that's the point where Grace puts her foot down and essentially says 'no. you come meet me honestly in the middle this time or this isn't happening'. and in 'The Trial' he does and then some!

I meant what I sang. I'm not a good man. If Athena had taken me up on my offer, the Idols would have been better off But I can try to be better. You make me want to try.

fun fact: if you break up with him after The Trial (YEAH you can still break off the romances at that point! it's wild honestly fsjadk), Grace tells him he should try to be better ‘for himself’ not for her... and he calls that (i.e. himself) ‘not much of an incentive’. My guy don’t make me break out the ‘Have you tried therapy’ prompt again. He takes it very calmly and gracefully under the circumstances but he's also like. quietly resigned and subdued. I tried it once for Science and never will again but there you go I bring my knowledge to this altar of sadness lol

you see the thing is I would forgive him for just about anything too I understand why so many of the characters in-game can't stay mad at him for any length of time

he starts the game by asking her to take his hand and he ends it on asking her to take his hand (and she does)...

:') let's share this dance

[eleadore]

rec list: hannibal/will 5-10k

none of my recs contain mcd or unhappy endings. everything else is fair game & may not be tagged for.

hannibal/will <5k

in vino veritas by lovetincture (nc-17, 5.2k) dub-con, post-fall

Will has a drinking problem. Hannibal makes it better, but first he makes it much worse.

simple by tei (nc-27, 5.3k) ♥️ will wants to fuck the ripper, s1

When Will meets Hannibal Lecter, he realizes that Hannibal might be the best thing to ever happen to his career: because Will is finally, finally having sexual fantasies about something other than the killers he catches.

at first meeting by emungere (t, 5.3k) groundhog day, s1

Will relives the day he met Hannibal.

price by emungere (nc-17, 5.4k) ♥️ escort AU

Prompt: Enter Will Graham, escort in D.C. providing the powerful men of Capitol Hill what they need because he knows them better than they could know themselves.

holomorphic by tei (nc-17, 5.6k) ♥️ bdsm, asexuality, post-fall

Hannibal takes what he wants from Will, and Will takes what he wants from Hannibal.

to welcome in the year by coloredink (t, 5.6k) magical realism, s1-s2 AU

Dr. Hannibal Lecter can control time in small, localized ways, but he no longer uses it in surgery; Will Graham can repair small objects, but he works for the FBI. It has been winter for as long as anyone can remember. That's how the story begins.

daylight savings by thebeespatella (nc-17, 6.1k) asphyxiation, s01e08

He’s getting close enough to tie the strings on Will’s wrists and ankles, and then, perhaps, under Hannibal’s marionette hand, he could be glorious...If Will resisted, disappointed—well. There is nothing wrong with a good demi-glacé. A post-Fromage missing scene.

fight the hurricane by spqr (nc-17, 6.6k) pacific rim AU

“He’s the best Jaeger pilot we have,” Jack says, grimly. “The last person who tried to drift with him slit her wrists. The one before that walked off the top of the Hatteras Shatterdome. We trained him before we knew what he was, and now we can’t afford to get rid of him.”

a particular affinity by louise_lux (m, 6.7k) getting together, s1

Will discovers that Hannibal has an olfactory disorder. Hyperosmia: noun - an abnormally acute sense of smell.

haarlem by spqr (m, 6.8k) telepath AU

“Hannibal,” he thinks he says. He gets told later that he doesn’t really say it at all, but that the entire police station—most of which is waiting outside in the rainy parking lot—hears his voice clattering around inside their skulls like someone standing on a roof banging pots and pans and screaming at the top of his lungs: HANNIBAL, HANNIBAL, HANNIBAL.

more a question of feeling by stereobone (nc-17, 7k) s2 compliant

Will lets it slip that he saw Hannibal when he had sex with Margot. Well, Hannibal isn't about to let that one go so easily.

pressure valve by spqr (nc-17, 7.4k) ♥️ D/s, s1

“I believe I understand,” Hannibal says. “You were at the club tonight because you could not sleep. Because you could not stop your brilliant mind from tearing itself to shreds. You needed someone else to stop it for you. Am I wrong?” Will shakes his head, then manages – croaky – “No. You’re not wrong.” “And you imagined someone in that – establishment – might be capable of taking care of you,” Hannibal continues, and Will doesn’t think he imagines the disdain in his voice, the banked fury in his expression. He knows he doesn’t, actually; he just doesn’t understand what it means.

the curious incident of the cucumber in the nighttime by tei (nc-17, 7.4k) getting together, pre-s1 to s1

PT: WILLIAM GRAHAM, 26 YEAR OLD MALE DX: FOREIGN BODY, RECTUM

softly, sweetly by thecountessolivia (nc-17, 7.5k) getting together, first time, erectile dysfunction, post-fall

After the fall, Will can't get it up. As far as Hannibal is concerned, this is not a problem.

oh, to be the life and soul will be the death of me by serindrana (nc-17, 7.8k) will finds out, knifeplay, s1

The third time Hannibal Lecter invites Will to a dinner party, he says yes.

every color at hand by ranstad (nc-17, 7.8k) first time, s1

Will has long been familiar with Hannibal's expertise in the kitchen, but he isn't aware Hannibal applies himself with similar fastidiousness to the finer arts—until the day Hannibal asks him to sit for a portrait.

a good fisherman by tei (nc-17, 8.3k) ♥️ getting together, pre-s1

Hannibal Lecter is in a new country, learning a new specialty. Now he just needs to become fluent enough in English to practice psychiatry-- and to manipulate. Will Graham is finally getting his life together: he's off the beat and into the lab, and settling into the house of his dreams in the middle of the woods. Far away from everyone and everything. It's just, he is a little lonely.

sangservi by tei (nc-17, 9.2k) ♥️ vampire AU

Will's got plenty of perfectly good blood in the fridge, but he orders takeout anyway.

gates of ivory, gates of horn by borevidal (nc-17, 9.7k) getting together, angst, s3 AU

“I miss my dogs. I’m not going to miss you. I’m not going to find you. I’m not going to look for you. I don’t want to know where you are or what you do. I don’t want to think about you anymore.” But dreams are another matter. Will and Hannibal’s relationship plays out in a world where people can send each other dreams. Mid-Season 3 AU.

the here trilogy by petronia (nc-17, 9.8k) ♥️ getting together, post-fall

Hannibal and Will sail across the Atlantic, and slip into further physical intimacies.

sleeping on a leash by mikapim (nc-17, 9.8k) ♥️ rough sex, au

"Wealthy Sadist Kidnaps Fifty People to Hunt for Sport in Oregon Woods" "Humans Hunted in Oregon- One Survivor" "The REAL LIFE Most Dangerous Game" "Man Survives Brutal Mass Murder" For Will, the headlines blur together into an offensive amalgamation of guilt and irritation and despair- his concerns with them being both that they say too much, and they don't say enough.

[gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan]

Candle Store

Author’s note: More of Ramiel and Jophiel in Husbandry AU.

Summary: Ramiel and Jophiel wander into a Candle store

Warnings: None? Let me know if I need to add anything!

Tagged: @barn-anon, @bleedingichorhearts, @c-u-c-koo-4-40k, @egrets-not-regrets, @kit-williams

Tagged: @sleepyfan-blog, @ms--lobotomy , @thevoidscreams, @i-am-a-dragon34, @gra93fruit-blog

Tagged: @felinisnoctis

Ramiel had noticed that they were running low on candles for the private shrine that the Primaris Marines have set up in their quarters. While he could go to the quarter master and request some candles, in exchange for work.

Another option could be to make the candles, but Jophiel had noticed what he was looking over and had said that one of the times that he had been going through Gannet Point, he had spotted a shop dedicated to selling a wide variety of candles.

Ramiel had pointed out to Jophiel that they would need to get local currency in order to buy candles from a baseline shop. Jophiel had grinned at him saying that some people had commissioned him for his embroidery and he'd gotten those commissions done.

He had gotten local currency, among other things, for the needle point work that he'd finished recently. Jophiel was happy to spend some of the local currency on candles. So the pair of them had made plans for during their time off to go to the candle store and check it out.

Ramiel really liked candles, they soft light they gave off, the flickering light that glowed softly in the darkness. The way that they illuminated something, without being overly bright.

The pair of Primaris Marines go to the Candle shop, it's only about a twenty minute power walk away from the Loyalist Base, and still is in Gannet Point.

After double checking, before heading out to the shop, it was rated Space Marines friendly and they headed into the store. It had wooden colored walls. It had a lot of different kinds of candles in glass containers with wooden tops.

Ramiel coughs a little at the strong scent that comes wafting, invading his nose and he quickly puts on his helmet in order to filter out the almost overwhelming smell of all the different kinds of scented candles.

He sees Jophiel stagger a little bit and his eyes water as he puts on his helmet and groans to Ramiel quietly that he might get a small headache from the overpower smell of the different candles.

Despite that minor hiccup, they look around the shop, there are a bunch of base line humans in the store, and some of them are in the candle shop uniform.

One of them is looking at the pair of Space Marines nervously- one of them going into the employees only section of the shop. Ramiel and Jophiel had noticed that, but were very happy to go through the various candles, lightly holding them and assessing the look, smell and quality of the candles.

Discussing the various pros and cons of the different candles, particularly the scented ones. They turn when they hear someone approach them and see a first born space marine in an Astartes-sized version of the candle shop uniform approach them.

He's heavily scarred and neither Jophiel or Ramiel can figure out which Chapter he's from. "Hello there brothers," The first born says slowly, a slight lisp, due to a scar that carves through his lips that has his face in a permanent sneer. "I see you are enjoying the shop. Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Oh- we were just looking for some candles," Jophiel says, the more talktive and outgoing of the pair of Scout aged Primaris Marines cheerfully.

"I can recommend you some Astartes-tolerable scented candles, if you would like." The First born marine offers.

"That would be great," Jophiel says with bright smile.

"I go by Lysander," The First Born says. "Can I know your names?"

"I am Jophiel," Jophiel introduces, and waves a hand at Ramiel, "And this is Ramiel."

"It's nice to meet both of you," Lysander says, "Just as a reminder, little cousins, do you have local currency?"

"I do have local currency with me," Jophiel says as he pulls out a hand stitched and embroidered pouch that rustled with local currency in it.

Lysander nods and goes over the various options for candles that are Astartes-safe scented and they decide on half a dozen different candles. The expense for the hand crafted candles is a little surprising to Jophiel- but he's able to cover the bill with an easy smile.

The way that Ramiel had been like an kid in a candy story as they looked around the Candle store had been worth it, well worth it to see the happy expression on his often melancholic brother-cousin's face.

[myinconnelly1]

Take Everything

Criminal Minds fic

Spencer Reid x OFC

Summary: Spencer made a poor choice in the past, but when there is an outbreak related to a powerful aphrodisiac in Mia's city and he shows back up, she might have to learn to forgive him.

Warnings: Adult Language, 'sex pollen', dub!con, forensic conversation, P in V sex, unprotected sex, breeding kink, other spoiler warnings in tags

W/C: 2,669

A/N: A special thanks to @firefly-in-darkness for the use of her amazing graphics/dividers. Go check her out.

Mia rubbed her temples as she looked around the crime scene.  This was the fourth DOA in two weeks.  Mia walked over to where the coroner was with the body.  She had donned her gloves and squatted down by the man as he pulled a thermometer from the body.

“I’d say the time of death was between 3 – 5 am.  But it’s hard to tell. Based on my previous autopsies, all of the victims had significantly high fevers and this will make my estimations poor at best.”  The coroner cleaned his instrument and started to get the body ready for transport.  “I can make some preliminary observations that support the use or overdose of Talon.  Petechia around the eyes suggests a lack of oxygen.  Pupils dilated and the flushed look tone of the skin all point to the hyperactivity of the nervous system.”

“Thanks, I’ll be sure to wash up,”  Mia said as she stood and walked away.  She took her gloves off and put them into a hazardous waste baggie.

“Hall, you’ve got to come hear this shit,”  Mia’s partner called and she walked outside to join him.

It had been several months since the BAU team had been in this city.  Spencer had spent almost two months here before the rest of the team had been invited.  He had a personal interest in a case that they had come on, but the locals hadn’t wanted to call in the feds.  Six women had died because of the mistrust between the city police and the federal agents.

Reid felt guilty about what he had done, but it’s likely that without him many more people would have died.  Hotch had told him that he should never talk about what he had done to anyone after Spencer couldn’t deal with the guilt anymore, but in the end, Hotch agreed that it was a decision that saved several lives.

Deaths related to Talon were piling up all over the country.  In a small, diluted amount, Talon was an aphrodisiac.  However, in the past couple of months, people, especially teenagers were getting a hold of Talon in its pure form.  The fine blue powder could be ingested orally or inhaled.

Hotch, Morgan, and Reid were setting up at the police station, while the others investigated the body in the morgue.

“Morgan, you and Reid start building the geographical profile.  I’m gonna talk with the captain, thank him for inviting us, since we had all that trouble last time.”  Hotch said before he started to walk into the bullpen.

“This is my case, Captain!

You can’t just give it to the feds without telling me.” Mia shouted from behind a closed door.

“And what kind of progress have you made on this case, Hall?”  The captain had raised his voice only to be heard over the woman.  “They are here to help us, play nice.”

“Good evening, Captain, thank you for inviting us on this case,”  Hotchner said as he opened the door to the office.  “Anything I can do to help?”

“No, Agent Hotchner, thank you for coming, here is a copy of the case file,”  The captain slid the case file over, before walking out from behind his desk to help get the BAU set up.

“Play nice, Hall,”

Mia muttered under her breath as she walked out of the office and saw the other members of the BAU team.

“Fucking bet on it.”

“You okay, Hall?” one of the officers asked as she walked past her desk.

“Fucking fabulous, I’m taking the rest of the night off.  Call me if someone dies,”  Mia huffed as she very deliberately threw her shoulder to bump into Reid.

“Hey!” Morgan shouted at her as she walked past.  Spencer tried to get him to leave the whole thing alone.  “What the hell was that about?  Wasn’t she the cop that got us invited on the last case?”

“Let it go, I’m sure she is still mad about how many people died last time,”  Reid said, his guilt over the entire situation starting to come back to the surface.

“That’s no reason for her to take it out on you,” Morgan said watching the way his friend moved.  “You were dating her, weren’t you?”

“Not really,” Spencer said trying to end the conversation and pulled out the maps and such to work on his map.

“Not really?  Either you’re with someone or you’re not.  Unless Spencer Reid is getting casual with his relationships.”  Morgan grinned as he teased the younger agent.  Reid’s ears turned red with the embarrassment that his friend was bringing up.

“Listen I don’t really want to talk about it.  Can we just work?  Things didn’t end well between us,”  Reid finished when Morgan gave him a look begging for more information.

“Rossi says all four of the victims tested positive for Talon,”  Hotch said as he came into the conference room where Reid and Morgan were set up.  “There have been several people that have shown up in the ER recently with high-dose exposure.  There is definitely some pure dust on the street.”  Aaron put thumbtacks on the board where the DOAs had been and then flagged the locations that the survivors had claimed to have been when they thought they had been dosed.

“This is a lot of ground to cover,”  Morgan said.

“We’re gonna need the cops patrolling these areas.  It’d be a big help if they were all on our side.”  Since the BAU team members had arrived there had been several suspicious looks and some that were downright unwelcoming.  “The captain seems on board with getting our help, but I think whatever went down with Reid and Hall is causing some bad blood.  I don’t need to know what it was, I’ll go call Garcia and see if we can come up with information based on the map.”

Morgan walked out of the room, obviously making space for Hotch and Reid to talk.

“You should go talk to her,”

Hotch said kindly.  “I assuming that you broke things off when the case ended, and you haven’t talked to her since then.”

“Yeah, it definitely wasn’t the best thing to have done.  How do I even bring the whole thing up with her?  It’s been months and she is still very obviously mad.  She probably won’t even talk with me.  Do I just knock on her door and say I’m sorry for using you, but my friend was one of the people who was missing, and I needed a way to get on the case, so I used you?”  Reid was very obviously flustered as he threw his hands into the air.  “I think I really screwed up, Hotch.  I think I was really into her, and now I can’t fix it.”  Aaron put his hand on Spencer’s shoulder to get his attention.

“You don’t know that you can’t fix it, if you don’t try.  Go talk to her.  Apologize.

At least then she will know that you are sorry,”  He said gently.

“Mia?”  Spencer called gently as he knocked on her door.  The door creaked open slightly when his knuckles rapped on the door.  Concern overtook his expression, and he pulled his gun.  “Mia!  It Spencer, are you okay?”  He closed the door and locked it behind himself so that no one would walk in behind him or leave.  He heard gasping and crying from around the corner, and he prepared himself for the worst.

Reid nearly dropped his gun when he came around the corner and saw Mia lying on the rug in her living room.  Her body was pointed away from him, but he could see that she had undone her jeans and let her hand slip into them and between her spread legs.  Quickly, Reid put his gun and holster on the counter and rushed over to her.  She was gasping and sweat had beaded all over her body.  Gooseflesh pricked at Spencer, and he thought she might have turned the air conditioning to its maximum setting.

“Mia, what happened?”

Spencer grabbed one of the Talon instant test kits that he had started carrying when he was working these cases and went to get a cotton swab before he noticed that the kit already showed a little plus sign.  He had simply exposed it to the air, and it was picking up contaminant.  “Shit,”  He cursed as he pulled out his cellphone and took off his jacket. 

“Hotch,”  Reid said a little louder than he intended as his teammate answered his call.  “I’m at Mia’s, she’s been dosed with Talon.  It must have been at her crime scene this morning.  Have Paramedics get to everyone on her team that was there this morning.

I have a dose of the counteragent.

I’ll meet you at the hospital as soon as I can get her on her feet.”  Reid felt the slick of sweat behind his ear as he hung up his cell phone.

“Fuck!”  Mia wailed as she crunched up and grabbed Spencer’s shirt.

“I can’t breathe.”  She panted.

“Mia, you’re gonna be okay.

It’s just Talon.  I know it hurts,” He whispered as he let himself brush her dark hair out of her face.  He was going to need to get her into a shower to lower her temperature.  Her skin was clammy with fever, but he was having trouble getting up to move away from her.  He felt the muscles in his stomach tightening as she moved her face close to his and her lips brushed over his.

“Why didn’t you want me?”

She groaned as she moved very quickly and straddled one of his legs.  “I would have given you anything,”  She said.

Reid felt his cock respond to the way that she ground herself against his thigh and the way her husky breath fanned over his mouth.  She had always been one to talk when they would have sex and he had never minded.  Since he had left, he had often gotten off to the words she had said to him when they were sleeping together.  He had kind of thought she was ridiculous when she jumped into their relationship with both feet and told him that she loved him.

“I wanted to give you the world, but thought you would hate me when you found out about the case,”

He admitted as he realized he had never thought to ask her opinion on the whole thing and instead had ended things with her, sparing himself from her ire.

“I never cared about the case, Spence,”  She whimpered when his free hand fell to where hers had been when he walked into the house.  “I had hoped you would love me back.  I wanted to have your baby.”  It was Spencer’s turn to groan as slick started to cover his fingers.  She had never talked about kids with him during sex.

Sure, he knew she wanted them, but he had been purposely ignorant about it as it pertained to their relationship.

“Make me cum, please,”  She cried into his mouth as she kissed him.

It was all he could take.

He knew something was wrong but was unable to feel anything but the heat that was radiating from both of their bodies.

He wrapped his arm around her back and laid down between her legs as they fell open for him.  He hadn’t noticed that she had unbuckled his belt and pants, and the way that his cock throbbed should have been a warning that he had inhaled some of the powder that was on her clothes.

Mia wiggled out of her pants as Spencer shoved his own down to his knees.  It was the longest he could last without being inside of her.  He hooked his long fingers into her panties and hitched them to the side as he filled her completely with a single stroke.

She whined at the sudden intrusion and Spencer thought he might fill her right then with how tight and hot she was.

“Fuck I missed you, I’m not gonna last long,” He groaned as he made small fast thrusts inside of her.

His fingers found her clit again to make sure that she finished before he did.

They were sweating like they had run a marathon when she came and clamped down so hard on him that he saw stars.  He came hard.

Mia tentatively wiggled her hips and Spencer expected to be sensitive from his orgasm.  But to his surprise, he found he was still hard.  Had he been in his right mind he would have realized that Talon was making him hard still, and if they didn’t receive medical attention, they would just continue to fuck each other.

“Want more,” was all that Mia could get out in her feverish state. 

“I’m gonna give more,”

He grunted as he leaned forward to start fucking into her again, harder this time.  “And you’re gonna take everything I give you.”

“Yes, sir,”  She moaned as her eyes crossed.   Spencer cursed at her words.  She was spurring him on with her sounds. 

He had lost count of how many times he had made Mia and himself cum when she rolled him onto his back and straddled him.  She took her shirt off and threw it to the side.  It had landed on top of Spencer’s cellphone but neither of them noticed that.

“I thought you said you were going to give me everything,”  She said as she grabbed his hands and brought them to her breasts as she rode him.

“I will,”  He moaned as he rutted up into her.  His thighs were starting to burn with the exertion, but he never wanted the feeling of being inside of her to end.

“Give me a baby,”  she whined as she fucked him with long strokes.

He sat up and pulled her tight against his chest as they came together.

“Shit, roll over, so I can give it to you deep,”  He said practically pushing her off of his dick.  He kicked off the rest of his clothes and pulled Mia’s panties off, only just realizing that they had been on this whole time.

“Fuck, Spence, please.”

She cried as he lined himself up.

He took her as hard as he dared, wishing he could get his cum into her womb like this.  He was aware she had started to scream his name every couple of thrusts, but neither of them noticed as the EMTs broke in the door with masks on.

Spencer’s fingers curled into her hair as they both came once more before the counteragent was aerosolized.

Mia was sitting on the side of her bathtub rubbing her temples as the headache continued to assault her.

She had woken up first at the hospital almost two days later.  She was hooked up to fluids as a nurse was checking her vitals.  Apparently, she was going to make a full recovery, but she needed to take it easy, and she was basically doing at-home quarantine.

She had been put on medical leave for three weeks pending her doctor’s approval, a drug test, and a psych evaluation.  Something about going through a trauma and there was nothing to be ashamed of.

Her drug test was on Monday and her psych eval was later that same day.  With any luck, she could return to work.  Her whole body still ached, especially her core muscles, and everything surrounding them.  Spencer had fucked her well, and she had enjoyed every minute of it.  Thankfully he had been texting her and not trying to run away from his problems again.  They had some very long conversations about trust, and Mia had decided that she wanted to give him another chance.

The alarm on her phone went off and she hit the stop button before rubbing her temples again.

“Well,” She sighed before taking a picture and sending it to Spencer.

~Are you ready to do this?

~Looks Positive to me

[its-jaytothemee]

Until I Met You - Chapter 40

Chapter 40: Last Night

Pairings: Halsin x Tav

Word count: 2,620

Rating: Currently M, will be Explicit in later chapters.

Chapter 1

Read on AO3

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Summary: Tav and the gang have what they hope is their last night in the shadow cursed lands. Part 40 of the slow burn fic. Tav and Halsin POVs.

Tags: Slow burn, mutual pining, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, fluff, eventual love confessions, eventual smut, angst, implied past rape/non-con and abuse, graphic description of injuries, brief suicidal thoughts.

A/N: A bit of a shorter chapter to tie a few things up and get us ready for the next few chapters! Super excited to share the last part of this act with you over the next few weeks <3

Tav rolled her shoulders and stretched her arms as she settled into her tent for the evening. She thought that she would be happier with this potentially being their last night in the shadows, but she also knew the perils that would await them in the morning.

She tried to close her eyes, if anything as long as she could trance for a couple of hours, it should be enough to get her through the day.

“Knock, knock!” Gale’s voice called from outside.

Tav cracked one eye open, seeing a purple haze shining through the thin opening left in her tent.

“Gale?” She popped her head out to look at him.

“Good evening! I’m here on behalf of Gale of Waterdeep. He wishes to extend you an invitation for a private conversation in a more suitable locale.”

“Huh?” Tav blinked at the bright light emanating from the projection.

“Ah, shall I repeat myself? Good evening! I’m–”

“No! No.” She pinched the bridge of her nose. “Just tell me where he went so I can go meet him.”

“Gladly. Just follow yonder path and you will find him with ease.” He gave her a small bow.

Tav slipped past the image of Gale and followed a small path out of their camp. It wasn’t long before she entered a small clearing where he was seated on a blanket.

To her surprise, she could see the stars. Not just the stars either. Ribbons of colorful light danced across the sky. There were no shadows in sight.

She knew it was just an illusion, but part of her wanted so badly to believe it was real. That somehow the shadows had already been driven from the land.

“Thank you for joining me,” Gale said softly, not turning to look at her.

“This is incredible, Gale,” Tav gasped as she took a seat next to him. “Did you do this?”

“I did. This could be my last night alive. I wanted it to be under a canopy of beauty and wonder.”

She gave him a curious glance.

“Do you have so little faith that we can win?” Tav wasn’t sure if she should feel offended or not.

“Oh, I have more than enough faith in you, my friend.” He smiled at her. “I have no doubt you will lead us to the heart of this Absolute. Then, I will do as Mystra commands.”

Those words knocked the air out of her lungs.

“Gale…”

“I thought if I could have a night of peace, it could make the weight of what I must do feel a little lighter. I thought if I could spend one more night with a friend, I could let go a little easier…but now I am not so sure.”

“You’re truly willing to die just for the promise of Mystra’s forgiveness?” Tav felt the tears welling in her eyes.

“To die is the inevitable end of all living things. Babe or crone, coward or hero, human or elf.” He cleared his throat. “Mystra’s forgiveness, however, is not something that comes along so often.”

Tav sat in silence, not wanting to believe her ears. Gale had scarcely said a word about the orb since his conversation with Elminster almost two tendays ago. Now, he was telling her that he indeed planned to sacrifice himself on Mystra’s orders, making the decision before they even found the Absolute.

“There’s no use running from it, Tav. Better to meet it, on my terms. For so long I’ve worried my death would claim countless innocent lives. But now…” Gale let out a soft, sad laugh. “Now, I at least have the opportunity for it to have meaning instead.”

Tav understood the sentiment. She knew how important magic was to Gale, how his life had revolved around it since he was a child. She knew the shame and pain he carried with him each and every day.

Which is why she surprised herself with the next words out of her mouth.

“Fuck meaningful deaths.”

“Beg pardon?” His confounded expression stayed frozen on his face for a few moments.

“Gale,” Tav turned to face him, “I’ve watched so many people die for causes they believe in so they could have ‘meaningful deaths.’ I’ve watched people die far too young because they thought their death needed to be in service of something greater than themselves. I’ve seen too many good, decent people die while tyrants and liars and assholes live long, happy lives.

“When those good people die, it leaves the opportunist dickheads to take over. They come in when civilizations are at their weakest and take advantage of those heroic deaths. Suddenly, the noble sacrifice that some long-forgotten hero made is rendered meaningless. All because the good people are never given the option to simply live.”

Her chest ached more and more the longer she spoke.

“While I appreciate and honor the sacrifices they made, there is something to be said about those who choose to go on living instead. You truly want your death to have meaning, Gale?”

He just stared back at her, tears shining in his eyes.

“Live a life that has meaning first. Give yourself a chance to learn from your mistakes, to help steer others away from making the same ones. Leave a legacy for others to look up to long after you’re gone.”

Tav took a deep shaky breath, tasting salt from the tears on her lips.

“But please, Gale, don’t just give up. Don’t just take the first option given to you, no matter how tempting. You say Mystra’s forgiveness can be earned. Then earn it.”

“I…” Gale stammered, his chin and lip quivering. “Thank you, Tav.”

He stared back up at the starry expanse of sky above them, searching for any answers dotted among the constellations.

“Damn you,” he continued with a shake of his head. “Damn you for giving me so much to care about. If it were only me, this would have been so much easier…but it isn’t.”

Tav leaned over and pulled Gale into a hug. His beard scratched at her neck as he buried his face in her shoulder.

“Stay with me a while, would you?” He pulled away from her, fear clouding those big, brown eyes. “I don’t want to think about it anymore, but I don’t want to be alone either.”

“Of course, Gale.”

Tav scooted closer and looped her arm around his, laying her head on his shoulder. She looked up at the night sky, seeing stars for the first time in days let a brief feeling of calm settle over her.

Even if it was all just an illusion.

***

Halsin found himself wandering to the edge of their camp. Just a few paces away from him was the fresh grave they had dug for Tav’s brother. The large pile of rocks offered some meager protection for the soft, unsettled dirt, the best they could manage in this cursed land.

After he took an uneasy breath, he knelt next to the small grave. He never knew Tev’aron, but he felt like he owed him this. From what little he did know, it was obvious how much he loved Tav.

Halsin wanted him to know that she wasn’t alone.

“Hello, Tev’aron,” he started, working to keep the nervous tone out of his voice. “We never got a chance to meet, but I’ve heard so much about you from your sister.”

He paused out of habit, waiting for a reply that wouldn’t come.

“Tav harbors so much guilt over your death. She feels like she never got the chance to repay you for your years of love and protection. Something tells me you never expected her to, though.”

He laughed lightly.

“She misses you terribly. But I suppose that’s obvious.”

A small gust of wind blew past him, cooling his bare arms.

“I know you were here that day as well. That you fought against Ketheric Thorm, against the shadows. So few of us made it out. It hurts me to know you were here all this time.”

Halsin let out a shaky sigh, not allowing himself to go deep into his painful memories of that day.

“I’m not entirely sure why I’m sitting out here in the dark talking to you. I think I just wanted you to know that Tav isn’t alone. That she’s not facing this grief while walking backwards into her own self destruction. I wanted you to know that she still has others looking out for her, even when she doesn’t want to let us see her faltering.

“I’m not one to ask for permission or blessings, where nature dictates, I go. I suppose that might be a tad different from how you were both raised. But I would like you to know that I care for her. I want you to know that…”

Halsin looked around, suddenly worried that someone might have snuck up on him. He didn’t see anyone, but he still lowered his voice.

“I want you to know that I think I’m falling in love with her. That if I were fortunate enough to have her feel the same, she’d never have to be alone again.”

A relieved breath escaped his lips with the words. Being able to say them out loud lifted a heavy weight from his shoulders, but he decided to amend them ever so slightly.

“Even if she doesn’t feel the same, she doesn’t have to be alone again.”

The words came with a small stab of pain, but he meant them, nonetheless.

“I don’t know why I can’t tell her that yet. But one day I will. When that day comes, we might be far away from this place, so I wanted you to know now.”

Halsin felt a few hot tears streak his cheeks as he stood up again.

“I’ll watch over her, Tev. We all will.”

Just as he was about to go back to the fire, Tav and Gale emerged from the trees walking arm in arm.

“Oh, hello Halsin,” Gale called out.

“Hello, my friends.” He smiled at the two of them. “Out for a late-night stroll?”

“Something like that.” Tav squeezed Gale’s arm before letting it drop from hers. “I figured you’d be resting by now, everything okay?”

“Of course,” he shifted in place, “just wanted a short walk to clear my head.”

“Come on then,” she held her arm out to him, “join us on the way back.”

“Happily,” he responded, letting her hook their elbows together.

The three of them chatted about their day and the plans for the morning as they walked back. Gale seemed a bit more distant than usual.

Tav suddenly grabbed both Halsin and Gale by their shirts and threw them behind a tree.

“Tav! What–”

“Shh!” she hissed before peering around the trunk where they were all hiding. She didn’t look alarmed, she looked…excited?

Halsin tentatively glanced around the tree, his head hovering over hers. Gale’s curiosity had also gotten the better of him. He crouched down so he could peek his head out below Tav’s.

By the campfire, they saw Wyll and Karlach. They were dancing together.

A sweet, sappy look came over Tav’s face. Halsin could see tears gathering in her eyes as she watched the two of them spinning around the fire. He had to admit it was a charming sight, Wyll and Karlach seemed like a good fit together. Halsin had noticed some of the long looks he had given Karlach, how his eyes sparkled anytime she laughed.

When they finished their dance, they both knelt down on one knee. He saw their bright, kind smiles shining through the shadows.

Then, he saw Wyll lean forward to place a soft, lingering kiss on Karlach’s lips.

Tav let out an excited squeak. Halsin quickly grabbed both her and Gale, hugging them tight against him to hide behind the tree again.

“Did they see us?” she whispered, her entire body shaking with joy.

“I don’t think so.” He kept them held there for another moment before allowing another peek around the tree.

Wyll had turned to go to his tent. Karlach still stood by the fire, a delirious smile spreading across her face. It wasn’t long before she skipped away to her own tent.

Halsin, Gale, and Tav all let out their held breaths.

“Well, as exciting as this evening has been, I think we shall be needing our rest for tomorrow.” Gale yawned and stretched his arms out in front of him. “Sleep well, friends. Erm…trance well?”

“Goodnight Gale,” Tav chuckled.

“He’s right, of course. We’ll need all the strength we can muster tomorrow if we are indeed going for Ketheric Thorm.” Halsin felt his eyes growing heavy.

Tav took a shaky breath; he caught the slight quiver in her lip as she did so.

“What is it?” He reached over to put a hand on her shoulder.

“It’s just…” she sniffled, “we tried once. We thought he was dead. What’s to stop the same thing from happening again? I can’t help but feel we’re up against an impossible task.”

“I suppose we won’t know for sure until we get there,” Halsin sighed. Tav wouldn’t meet his gaze.

He racked his brain for the right words to say. She was right of course. There was a chance that they would march on Moonrise Towers, face Ketheric Thorm, and discover all they had worked for – all they had grieved and lost – had been for nothing.

But that despair was easily beaten back by the hope he felt at his new friends’ sides. At Tav’s side.

“This has been a task one hundred years in the making, my friend.” He took both of her hands in his. “For many of those years I feared there would be no one brave enough to even attempt it.”

She finally looked up at him again.

“But look at all we’ve accomplished so far. For so long, I truly believed I would never see Thaniel again. Yet he’s now safe and sound here in our camp, reunited with his other half. Karlach worried she’d never be able to touch another again. Her days are now filled with as many hugs and handshakes as she wishes. Lae’zel lived for years under the tyrannical rule of a false queen. She is now armed with the truth and seeks to break her people’s chains.

“You have all created an incredible team based on friendship and trust. Somehow, you’ve helped unite the most unlikely group of adventurers I’ve seen in my long life. You’ve helped one another break free of chains that had weighed you down for years, all while living with a mind flayer tadpole in your brain.”

He smiled before bringing his forehead down to rest on hers.

“So don’t say it’s impossible, Tav. Stranger things have already happened.”

She sniffled as he wiped away a couple of stray tears from her cheeks.

“Thank you,” Tav whispered back before pulling him into a hug.

“Happy to help.”

He welcomed the gesture, letting her cling to him and bury her face in his shoulder. If anything, it helped to hide his own trembling hands.

Halsin meant what he said to Tav. He believed they could finally put an end to Ketheric Thorm and even the Absolute. It didn’t mean he wasn’t absolutely terrified of doing so.

But when Thaniel spotted them and came out to join, wrapping his arms around Halsin’s waist, those fears melted away again. Thaniel was a reminder of why he was there in the first place – of why he endured his suffering for so long.

A reminder of why he was so confident they would prevail the next day.

[decarabiandivorce]

Am i the asshole for staying behind on an uncharted planet

I (23M) have been a new hire at this shipping company for around three months and it has been absolutely horrible. The company has us work outrageous hours and there is only one other employee. A month ago that employee (my mentor) went on a vacation and ever since then the president had me switch over from simply organizing packages to making full deliveries. On my first trip, I was attacked by a group of space bunnies and the company was sent into debt because of it. They told me the route was safe and secure, however, it was clearly not the case. The important cargo was destroyed and the remaining debt is now more than a hundred years' worth of salary. The company is going under and the president is even accusing ME of doing something. I have no clue what he is talking about and am very frightened by the experience.

Now then my mentor (38?M idk) comes back and talks about how he was hit by a meteor and crashed. It took him a whole month to recover his parts and just barely made it back. Before he could even see his family the company's appraisal AI scanned a memento he yoinked from the crash site and now the president thinks its a great idea to send two deliverymen to search for treasures to sell. Why do we even have an appraisal AI I don't even know. So now me and this captain i've know for about two months is being sent towards an uncharted planet.

Then we crash. There was a blizzard and I am sent flying into the snow. I am tired, hungry, and lay down on the ground as I contemplate my life. A long story short we reconvened and it turns out this planet is FULL of hostile life! Creatures as tall as me just waiting to eat us. Holy fuck. My mentor is taking this as a normal occurrence???? He spent a month on this planet??? The hell????

So after fighting off creature after creature-some as tall as space pups while others as tall as buildings, we somehow get enough pokos to pay back the COMPANY'S DEBT. We weren't even paid overtime and I think my mentor GOT A PROMOTION? We barely had enough supplies for one person so I started taking back some of the local creatures to eat. (DM me if you want some of my recipes!) . We wake up as soon as dawn breaks and this planet's day and night system are so unlike my own planet. By the time it's 10 PM its Nighttime! Dawn is around 6 AM!

My mentor has been relatively nice. He gets my silence and for that, I am grateful he doesn't have me talk a lot. Cons: He forgets about me really easily. Usually, he has me just follow him while we explore and at some points, I feel as if I could have just stayed at the ship and slept and would accomplish the same amount of work. It is aggravating to be woken up so early and told to just follow him around.

After another long expedition I am about 10 seconds away from passing out our ship's appraisal AI (who has been so snippy with both of us) blares out that we should return home now. The thing is, after so long of being on this planet I realized that I prefer this planet more than slaving away at that delivery service. The same service that would send me straight first toward a hive of space rabbits for my very first mission. So I lagged behind a bit.

In my lagging behind, my mentor starts up the ship and leaves. At first, I am shocked. He actually did that. Holy fuck he left me on this planet. Sure our suits were upgrades to filter out the oxygen just before we left and I could last for months if not years....it was still shocking to me. I could not help but watch the sky as he blasted away. Maybe this was a blessing in disguise!

I walked for a long time, resting in safe areas to conserve my stamina and eating the creatures I knew were edible. There was a lot of experimentation here and there and I missed the spices of back home. I just knew that a certain creature would taste way better if I added in a couple more condiments! (Remember! DM me for my recipes!)

While exploring one of the caves, a giant spiderlike foe kidnapped me and placed me on it's head. It was so cute! Like riding a weird dog.

It was nice being with the big spider. It gathered some ancient technologies that were perfect for my survival. None of the other creatures seemed to bother the two of us and it was nice to know that there was someone else on this planet that understood us. Still, I was tired and after what felt like days, my suit's forced sleep mode kicked in. I have no clue what happened afterward nor how many days I was asleep but the next thing I knew was that my mentor was right in front of me making sure I was okay.

He says that he came back for me with the help of our boss, but I could see the poko in the president's eyes as the ship went over finances with him.

They killed the spider to 'save' me. The spider went on full attack while I was asleep on it and the appraisal AI thinks I was in control of it despite being unconscious. At least the captain think's I didn't do it...

They then told me that there was no third seat on the ship and that I will be sleeping in the cargo hold until they got every single treasure on this planet. I am pretty sure that's a space OSHA violation but at this point, I have been in so many life-threatening dangers that I gave up counting. At least they don't expect me to help out because I am 'recovering'. They are content to let me stay by the ship and I have been using this time to perfect my recipes with the supplies they got from back home.

[watchtheblog]

Cutting Slack

hello to the hierarchy of my besties: irl besties, internet besties, fantasy besties; the hierarchy of my haters: just the three of you, followed by someone who goes by the alias k.s on google reviews; an ever dwindling number of exes who can read, a handful of people i’m just getting to know who are about to know me too well too fast, and anyone else who has stumbled upon this highly specific page on the internet!!

if you’ve been here before, you know the deal. i’m going to weave a web of little jokes into a somewhat coherent story and then as a reward for knowing me you get the opportunity to see 20 things i hope to receive for my birthday, which, i hope you know… is tomorrow (26 september); i’m turning 94.

The joke web:

In february 2023 after the company I co-created sold to one of the corniest companies on the planet, I quit because they wanted me to set forth eight hours a day I would be available to do work. Seven years into a job I’d put 8 hours a year into, this was a startling task.

Also, they wanted me to become a member of slack, or get on slack, or write to them in slack. Or do something, whatever one does, on slack. You can do a lot of things to me, but what you’re not gonna do is make me go on slack. Many have tried in the past and not a one has ever succeeded.

Not to sound like Mark Cuban - or myself in [redacted] years -  but an 8 hour workday was not for me. And I explained this. I told a woman alleging to be my supervisor that every morning I woke up, I did cult for 20 minutes, wrote in my journal for 45 minutes, went for a 1 hour walk, came home, showered, drank a little poison, read for one hour in my garden, did some dilly dallying on the internet, and then I went to an appointment*, and by the time I was done with all of that it was already 4pm and that’s wind down time in my culture. 

Where did she want me to find 8 hours?!

(*i realize appointment time is not a thing (everyone can understand) but I’m gonna have to save it for another post. appointment time is sacred in a directionless little bug’s life and it deserves to be explained properly.)

If you think I’m joking that I laid out this schedule to a woman who was born inside a human resources complaint folder and whose dearly departed soul resides within a ludicrously capacious bag somewhere, I beg you to get to know me better.

Fundamentally, she did not understand and spiritually I was not the messenger to enlighten her, so I decided to quit.

I am impulsive by nature but this decision was incredibly thought out. I wrote down a list of pros and cons and I titled the cons list “things I’m not aligned with” and I listed 11 things.

“I dont want to be managed!!!!!!” (this is a literal copy and paste) topped the chart.

To follow? “Corporate weirdness”, and, simply: “Slack”.

On the pros list I wrote: “Freedom”, “I will finally be free”. (LOL!) Underneath it, it says “Take a fucking risk.”

I sat with these lists for approximately three minutes, and then I wrote an email announcing my resignation. And then I quite literally never spoke to anyone there ever again.

This all leads me to one short pivot before we’ll arrive at our final destination of my birthday list. 

When I mentioned earlier that I am impulsive by nature, I mean that I quit my job because someone said there was a question posed to me in Slack and I needed to answer it came to Ohio to visit my dad’s (RIP) childhood home and my (then) girlfriend convinced me to call the number on a commercial real estate building and within 45 days I’d signed a lease and 90 days later I had packed, driven, and moved my entire life across the country. 

When I moved here, I knew no one so I did a lot of things you may think only people who are on reality dating shows do, like: go to an espresso martini making class, cook marshmallows over an open fire in a state park at night with strangers, slide down a snowy hill on a plastic saucer as an activity, or attend a local rat’s birthday party.*

*disclaimer for anyone here who doesn’t GET me bc I’m scared to be misunderstood: i loved all of these things I’m not mocking them; I’m simply holding a light to the absurdity of my *on the spectrum, agoraphobic weirdo* ass doing these things in earnest because i needed to not kms. ◡̈  kms stands for k*ll myself.*

(Of course all of these things on a reality dating show would involve two people, whereas in my case I did all of those things alone.)

As a treat for my efforts to be a member of society, the universe provided me with the unique gift of meeting the anthropomorphic version of my intrusive thoughts!! 

We’ll call her Gloria (for no reason) and in our first phone conversation she had called everyone in the state of ohio “fat, lazy and bipolar” and told me my business would fail.

One minute after we hung up, she texted asking if I wanted to sauna with her right now. Now mind you, I’ve been doing shit “for the lore” since before it was called “lore” and men were just telling me I was insane (simpler times!!) so I grabbed a bikini and drove 9 minutes ready to go in a sauna with a random lady I’d never met.

And go in a sauna with a random lady I did... fully clothed for a reason that both confused and relieved me. In that sauna, Gloria repeated the aforementioned phone topics and added a pointed “nobody wants to work out; you will fail” while staring at me in a box heated to 130 degrees.

“It’s okay. Everything is always working out for me” I told her as she persisted in her negativity, because I lacked the ability to just tell her to shut the fuck up (and also because that is true). 

I considered the possibility of her behavior coming from a good intentioned place, like when cars driving the opposite direction flash their lights to let you know they just passed a cop (as if that ever hits). I considered it was an act of humanity, one unstable woman to another; trying to save me from the hell she thought was inevitable given her own - self proclaimed - “failure”. (she had opened and closed a studio of her own.)

So I let her keep flashing her dumb lights at me, showing up to my studio uninvited in the middle of my buildout telling me I should see if my landlord would let me out of my lease, texting me little foreboding horror stories about the perils of being in the fitness industry, sending me local businesses that were closing as if to say “i told you so; i’m warning you.”

“You’ll see” she said multiple times, as if to predict my ultimate demise in a way I’d be able to reflect on in the future, remembering she’d warned me. 

In those moments and in the months of desperation and grind leading up to the opening of my business I had no other choice but to move forward blindly, confidently. Long before I met this psychopath I had prepared for the possibility of failure. Unlike this woman, however, that preparation involved the potential of having to say “I failed… now what?” rather than “I failed. I’m the rule, not the exception. The journey is impossible.”

It’s been almost two years since I left the career I thought would define me, and while I certainly haven’t failed, I’m not writing this from the other side. I’m writing this from the beginning of a long journey I’m prepared and excited to be on that began the day I decided to take a fucking risk.

Two years ago I couldn’t find 8 hours a day to work and now somehow I’ve found 14-18…

and not a single one of them has been spent on slack. 

The Gift Portion!!!  the intangible: for the dismantling of nextdoor dot com, for all my bad memories to be erased, to win the war against seed oils, for the ai to stop(!!!), that the person who sullied my google reviews finds God and healing bc going against me is a form of psychosis, for great deals on this upcoming amazon prime day, that natalia grace is ok, that i never hear a telephone ring again, for watermelon to be in season all the time, that nobody is ever mad at me, that all eggs would turn to donuts in a way that would not have negative implications for chickens or negative repercussions for farmers, that everyone bounces back from whatever inevitable side effects ozempic will have, that my frequently used emoji are all safe and sound after getting rearranged, and for everyone I know and love to read the source by dr tara swart, and that they are all happy, healthy, successful, and in love forever.

the ones you can buy: these shoes (size 38)  or these shoes (size 38) also these (and you guessed it! 38) i want to fix my brain here, a casual five day immersive neurofeedback experience this watch this large suitcase or this one i cant pick this gorgeana kind of urgently, this these shoes (great deal alert!!!!) (size 38) i think the trajectory of my life would change if i owed four of these and maybe some other things to go with it big year for shoes … huge a stunning linen spray this practical thing her this or something else from her(e) these, white, small also kind of urgently, these this definitely the max mara teddy coat in the absolute smallest size and this is the last time I’m gonna put it here!!!!!! ykto!!! (lol!!)

[skellebonez]

Happy (LATE) Birthday Lupin!

So. It took me a little extra time, but I finally got your birthday fic done @lunar-wandering! I hope this is funny, I had way too much fun imagining this in my head.

“We TOLD you this would FUN Red Son!” MK said while letting out a wheezing laugh.

“That depends on your definition of fun, NOODLE BOY,” Red Son said in exasperation, attempting to right his jackal hood from its skewed position. “… but I will admit. This has been an… ENJOYABLE way to spend the weekend thus far.”

“SUCESS!” Mei and MK shouted, unable to resist the urge to jump up and give each other a high five. The day had turned out better than expected, all things considered.

Somehow, by some sheer stroke of luck, MK and Mei had managed to convince Red Son to join them at a local convention that had moved to the city of Wàn Qiān Chéng. They’d always WANTED to come to this convention, but it had been just far enough before MK gained his powers to make it less worth trying to travel to (and asking for a day off from Pigsy). But, of course, immediately after his powers?

Convention moved.

It barely took them half an hour to get to it now, and that was attempting to drive normally! With his staff or cloud or Red Son’s fire it would be trivial. Mei did mention she could fly her jet, but as far as they knew it would be impossible for them to actually land it on the roof of the convention hall.

They’d been a little lost on exactly what to cosplay for a while. They wanted to go a group cosplay, preferably a trio or at least a duo who would be normally seen with the third character (or at least would be HILARIOUS if they were seen together). But that problem was solved pretty quickly when they managed to gain the interest of their friends. While Sandy had to sit the convention out (poor Mo needed to go to the vet), it didn’t take long for Pigsy to show interest in bringing his food truck and for Tang to invite himself along by proxy. Granted, they wouldn’t be joining them inside the con. Unlike…

“I have to admit,” Macaque said with a chuckle. “This has been pretty fun. It’s like putting on a play without all the stress of making sure it goes perfectly.”

“It’s so nice to walk around and have NO ONE know who I am!” Sun Wukong exclaimed with a tired and excited chuckle. “They only know who I’m cosplaying!”

Ah yes. The cosplays.

They’d gone over exceptionally well! To be fair they were cosplaying a group of characters from a very popular game, but they liked to think that people genuinely liked the quality of their cosplays. Who knew Sun Wukong and Macaque were THAT good at sewing? Making the armor and props was easy with Sun Wukong and MK’s powers (and given how complicated their outfits were and the fact they weren’t entering any cosplay competitions they were so grateful for not having to make THOSE), but the monkeys were DETERMINED to at least make the costumes themselves.

And boy did that pay off.

They honestly expected the two of them to be the most popular out of the group, but they really underestimated the power of a popular duo.

Mei and Red Son as Tighnari and Cyno were the spotlight stealers, especially with Mei’s mechanical ears that moved back and forth.

MK was decently popular as Aether, but not as much as the rest of his group. He wasn’t complaining though, this meant that he could act as the hype man for any one of them who was requested for pictures!

Sun Wukong and Macaque were almost as popular as Mei and Red Son, their Neuvillette and Furina cosplays gaining so many requests for Furina to be doing something goofy with Neuvillette looking on in confusion or annoyance. Something VERY easy for the two monkey demons to do!

All in all, it was a fantastic day at the convention.

But damn did they need a break.

That’s how they all found themselves outside the convention all in the garden attached to it. It was less busy than expected outside, probably because of the cold, but everyone except Red Son was pretty got in their costumes and could use the cooling off anyway (and Red was warm enough normally so the exposed midriff of his costume didn’t bother him even a little bit once outside).

They were enjoying a late lunch, separated from everyone in a nice secluded part of the garden surrounded by bushes and some early blooming flowers. Mei had Sun Wukong summon them up a tea set with his hair, insisting they all eat in costume while she filmed them. A slightly odd request, but she had been filming the day for a con vlog she was intending to upload later so it wasn’t THAT odd.

“Can we please take our costumes off for a minute now?” Red Son asked once they had finished their food, stretching so hard they could hear his back pop. “This hood is heavier than it looks and I’d like my scalp to be able to BREATHE for a moment.”

“Just one more thing!” Mei said, giggling wildly as she stood up and practically vibrated in excitement. “There’s this Genshin meme going around and I want us to do it!”

“Oh… Oh my gosh that’s why you had us eat in costume,” Macaque said slowly, piecing everything together. “It’s for the CALM parts of the video and why you had Wukong SAY THAT mid lunch.”

“You’re an evil genius,” Sun Wukong said, staring at the dragon girl in awe. “You tricked me so good! I’m supposed to be the trickster!”

“Hehehe,” Mei chuckled, rubbing her hands together. “You got it! Now, I have a plan for how this is going to go, a few actually, and I’ll edit the video together with the second and third parts based on what goes best. I need all of us to look horrified at Macaque for a moment while Wukong says the next line, then all of us are going to look at Wukong when he says the last one. Then the real fun begins. The first one is going to be Macaque dancing alone, then everyone except Wukong joins in, and then it’s all of us!”

“Oh oh,” MK shouted in excitement, waving his hands. “PLEASE let me break dance, I want to break dance SO BAD.”

“Only if you also moonwalk in at least on of these takes.”

“DONE!”

“What about me?” Macaque asked. “If I’m starting this what I do has to be good.”

“Fortnite default dance.”

“Diabolical, I’m in!”

“I assume I’m not joining in on the dancing until the last one?” Sun Wukong asked.

“Yeah,” Mei agreed with a nod. “Look as horrified at the rest of us as you want, but do whatever funny dance moves you can do for the last one. Maybe the worm.”

“I always wanted to be a worm at least once.”

“I assume I am being dragged into this mess?” Red Son asked with a sigh. “What do you wish for me to do?”

“Hear me out,” Mei said with a shaky chuckle. “I don’t care what you do for the drafts of the second segment. But for the last one, please. PLEASE stand close enough to my phone your feet are cut off so no one can see your fire and use it to slide you across the screen in a T pose as you slowly spin around.”

There was a beat of silence as everyone waited for Red Son to react, staring at him in anxious excitement.

“That… is the dumbest thing I have ever heard,” Red Son said slowly. “I love it.”

“LET’S GOOOOO!” Mei yelled, hurriedly checking her camera to make sure it was still good before sitting down. “Ok, ok, whenever you’re ready Wukong.”

The Monkey King smiled, almost unable to get rid of his smile and take on the neutral face of the character he was dressed as, but slightly more horrified as he looked at Macaque.

“We now turn to the ~Oratrice Mecanique d'Analyse Cardinale~!”

~

“Looks like everyone’s having fun at the convention,” Tang said, slurping up another bite of noodles, the last in his bowl, as he scrolled through Mei’s feed on his phone. “Mei’s posting memes.”

He sat on a stool outside the open back door to Pigsy’s food truck, bowl of the chef’s ever famous noodles sitting on a folding table set out in front of him. They were parked across the street from the convention hall everyone else was inside of, Pigsy working hard inside to prep food while Tang ate an excessively late lunch, right beside a park.

It was almost TOO good, prime real estate for a food truck to be parked in, and they had slightly underestimated how popular they would be compared to the simple ice cream food trucks that seemed to take over all the space at the convention center proper.

… why were there even 6 of those? Well, that didn’t matter.

Apparently when people are extremely hungry, they would actually cross the street for something that looks good.

“I still think you would have had more fun goin in with them,” Pigsy said as he fixed up a new batch of fresh jiaozi for when the next batch of hungry con goers comes up to his food truck. “You’re dressed as that… Piedmon character and you’re not even helping, you’re just eating my food.”

“It’s PAIMON. And I’m free advertising!” Tang protested with a smirk, taking a big slurp of broth to make the point even more clear. Pigsy couldn’t help but snort in both mocking indignation and amusement as he did this. “Who can possibly resist coming to a food truck when someone looks THIS satisfied with the food?”

“People who see the ‘opening at 6 pm’ sign on the closed awning,” Pigsy rebutted with a chuckle. “And since we’re not opening until 6, why don’t you show me what Mei is posting whole I finish folding these up.”

“Oh, it’s GOOD,” Tang said, barely holding in a chuckle as he went over to the open door and held up his phone. “If people knew the adults with the trio were it would blow up even more!” Pigsy stared at the screen, face slowly scrunching up in both amusement and confusion.

“OK, I get the dancing and all, but…”

“But?”

“Why are they asking for judgement from a bird?”

Nothing could have been better advertisement for the food truck than Tang immediately bursting out into laughter, holding his chest as he slowly lowered himself to the ground and started wheezing.

[pastafossa]

The last day of 2023.

And holy shit has it been a chaotic ride, one which you all shared with me, or that's what it feels like!

The Major Moments:

Feb: Cato's cancer diagnosis and discovery of weird mutated cells that likely won't be explained until after he passes away. He's still with me, fortunately! No idea how much time he has left but I'm grateful for every second

April: a small leak in my dining room ceiling turned into a bigger leak which turned into a massive hole in the ceiling, at least it wasn't winter???

May: DD Born Again Photos give us all a goddamn heart attack

May: I FUCKING REACH MY OVERALL 1,000,000 WORD COUNT ON AO3. 🎊 🎉 🎊 Next stop is 1mill for TRT!

June: Went to my first con since Covid! Drove all the way down to Philly to see Charlie Cox, WHICH WAS FUCKING AMAZING, HE HELD THE RED THREAD FOR OUR PHOTO, MY FANFIC DREAMS HAVE COME TRUE, AND I TOLD HIM WHAT DD MEANS TO ME AND HE WAS SO NICE I COULD CRY

June: At that same con, I finally FINALLY got to meet my bff @wonderlandmind4 in person after many many many late nights of chatting, and we just CLICKED like we'd been friends for years, which I should have expected, but still! And then I got to meet a bunch of my readers, too! Best con experience EVER

July: enter Whoops Covid Finally Got Me After 3 Years But Charlie Was Worth It ™

July: Finally dusted off my draft of Pasta's First Dark Fic cause even if my brain was too fuzzy to write, I figured I could edit a bit. And I did! And was pretty happy with the results!

August: Shit Now There's A Long Covid Heart Issue And I Can't Be Seen Until Late November Thanks Covid ®

August: leak in the garage leads to me losing about 65% of all the beautiful, special woods pieces I'd gathered over the course of six years for carving. Within a week I am gifted a huge bin of wood from a kind soul at my local witchy shop

Sept: TRT's 6th anniversary!

Nov: I was slowly getting back into the swing of things, doing a bit of writing in between learning to manage whatever was going on with my heart (which we'll hopefully figure out in January when I get all the results of testing in Jan)

Early Dec, and the worst week of my life: mom got sick. Within one day she went from not feeling good to needing an ambulance. By the next day, she was in the ICU - flu induced double pneumonia that was interfering with her breathing and heart issues. And with one more day, she was put into an induced coma and ventilated, without any of us sure if she'd pull through. They told us she'd likely be under for two weeks, potentially longer even if she made it. The amount of messages and supportive comments I got from all of you, the talks I had with @wonderlandmind4 and @shouldbestudying41, just the general sense of having a community to help me means more than I can ever say as you all helped me through that terrible, horrible moment, even if it was just gently messaging me to remind me to try to eat.

Mid Dec: against ALL odds, Mom was off the ventilator in a week. By week 2, she was out of the ICU. By week 3? Off to the physical rehab center. She was there a grand total of 1 week before she was allowed to come home to finish her recovery. Early December was the worst moment of my life, and yet it was also bookended by the best Christmas of my life even if it was spent at the rehab center, because I got to have my mama back, and hug her and tell her I loved her and make jokes, and now she's home and we've been watching Christmas movies and eating grilled cheeses, and as far as I'm concerned, that's what the holiday is to me: not presents and snow and lights, but this moment, this time with her. 'In all the places you find love, it feels like Christmas.'

In just a few hours for me, it'll be 2024. I have no idea what to expect going forward, or even what to plan for, much less a resolution. I know I want to get back to TRT when mom's a bit better (she still needs a lot of help, understandably). I know there are wood carvings I want make; friends I want to visit; witchy events at my local shop I want to go to. But other than that... who knows? If I'm lucky, things will be calmer than this past year. But even if they aren't, at least I know I have dear friends, all of you, and my family, including Pasta Mama, to help me through it.

Goodbye, 2023. Hello, 2024.

[slashthrashandcrash]

My tire blew out today. The towman, for whatever reason, kept getting my location wrong and the road rangers were my knights in shining honor when they stumbled upon my car on patrol. Then, the tow arrived and was driving after me after they put in the spare tire, calling out that his ride was still free. Now, if this was late at night and the highway was suspiciously empty, which slashers / killers do you think would be after me and how could I fight them off? The tow guy is, of course, no help

This sounds so funny as a time sensitive question like "I'm not saying I am stranded on a desolate road with no help for miles but if I were how could I possibly fend of a serial killer that's banging on my car window? Please respond, asking for a friend."

Danny/Ghostface would certainly be an option if he was already on the move between towns or states, just a nice young man wanting to help get you somewhere safe and accidentally making a few wrong turns...then next thing you know, you're set loose to run free through the woods while he tails you, knife in hand. Your best option is to hope you find the main road before he finds you, but even then you'd have to pray there's even another motorist driving at this hour who'd be willing to stop at your distress. Just because you were stupid enough to get in a car with a stranger doesn't mean they are lmao.

The Sinclair brothers are a classic, of course -- that's kind of their whole schtick is helping out poor stranded motorists, offering to fix up their car while they come on into town for a spell, maybe check out the local wax museum to kill some time. Gotta be honest, your odds probably aren't that great since it's a 3v1...you might just have to grab a tire iron and start swinging if you want a fighting chance.

Michael can drive but he's a fucking menace on the road, he'll be ramming into you and trying to slam you off into a ditch or the median. You need to either outpace him or hopefully lose him with a few sharp turns, otherwise you'll be battered and trapped when he gets a tire to blow out or your transmission to die. Being wounded in a metal cage is the last place you wanna be when he comes stalking over to your wreckage. Although, he might more so be targeting the tow driver behind you, they usually wear those navy coveralls...

And there's a few more typical slashers who have a similar con to the Sinclairs; the Firefly family, the Sawyer family, whatever the cannibal inbred family's name was in The Hills Have Eyes -- these cases? 100% fucked. If you don't floor it and get the hell out of dodge the first second you spot any of 'em on the side of the road, you've practically sealed your fate. And it won't be pretty, or sexy, or fun. For you, anyways.

For a bit of gaslight gatekeep girlboss, Tiffany Valentine. For no reason other than you're practically alone on the quiet roads and she's bored. Just a quick little fender bender and then her nail file across your throat. Frankly, you should be honored to be killed by her, just let it happen, say thank you with your gurgling dying breath. Throwback to Urban Legend, but also Brenda. Who doesn't love a good story about flashing highbeams in the rearview mirror? You're golden if you remember how the legend goes and how the girl survives (even if the killer isn't the one in your backseat), or better yet, just don't flash your lights when you see her driving in the dark in the first place.

Purely DBD killers though, I'd really only pick out Legion, namely because they would have plenty of reasons to target you. They want your car, your money if you have it, and hell, they'll go ahead and take your life while they conveniently have it. The bad news is it's 4v1, the good news is they're all stupid teenagers. You have a 50/50 chance of being able to either outsmart them or just fend them off long enough to escape, but don't be surprised to find 4 different blades in your gut because you refuse to cooperate with their robbery.

[vigilskeep]

Thinking very hard about ur cadash/Merrill post have U thought abt them going on picnics perhaps. Having deep thoughtful conversations about the legacies of their people while laying across one another's laps shaded by a tree. Perhaps there is braiding of hair involved or the making of daisy chains. Talking for so long twilight sets in before they notice just how dark it's gotten and they have to sneak back to town silently hand in hand to avoid any trouble on the road (not that they can't fight, it's just easier this way). I am thinking about these things.

i am now thinking Very Hard about these things. omg. finally having a listening ear that understands what it is to have lost so much of your history. sharing and comparing dwarven and elven braiding styles. also cadash very insistent that her local blood mage gets enough to eat and solely responsible for her picking up a decent con score. trying to hold in laughter as they sneak back into the alienage after dark. shy goodnight kiss on merrill’s hand because that’s easiest to reach before you lose your nerve, and merrill leaning down for a proper one. these are very important things to think about

i think it’s very charming if cadash & merrill first spent significant time together because cadash is one of the people varric pays off to get merrill out of trouble whenever she gets lost. but merrill noticed her and they just start walking together because merrill says it’s “simpler to keep an eye on me that way, isn’t it, and it’s nice to have company!” and a mildly baffled carta brute cadash is like... well who am i to disagree. she’s still miffed varric stopped paying her for it though. he’s all like “this is just a date at this point i’m not paying you to go on a date with daisy” and it’s like, smh varric you merchants’ guild types do nothing for the carta working woman