#if this reads rambly that's because i'm tired oof | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

blackstarchanx3new · 1 year ago

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FSR Rambles 10 fingers in the aaaaa-

I don't let up on the fucking Vidow. The entire fandom has to just cope with the fact I'm a disastrous weirdo stinking up their perfect pure fandom, they cry themselves to sleep at the cryptid that stalks at the edges their fandom.

Weep you disgusting filthy bastards.

I bet you salivate at the idea of Vio's breast milk in your slutty coffee.

Lol I guess he fell asleep reading.

Shadow makes a very sinister face considering the goofy ass thing he decides to do with the sleeping Vio.

Hah. Vio screaming his lungs out got a kick out of me while drawing.

Shadow forgot Hylian's sleep for a reason.

He's just waiting for Vio to call him a moron, which we know again is because of Vaati and Gannon abusing this poor man.

Shadow's utterly shocked Vio doesn't have a single thing to berate him over hah.

Vio's so tired he just wants to sleep.

Shadow's feeling nervous to actually like, get cozy with Vio in this context.

Despite his seeming confidence the dude is insecure.

He is HESITANT to trust Vio to some degree, he's having second thoughts about his actions.

Vio didn't even SAY anything about the kiss lmfao. I'd be worried too.

This page is so sad to me.

Vio's feeling some regret while Shadow gets comfortable next to him.

HAHAHAHA.

Transition from being next to someone to being completely alone agh-

Shadow Link is in MISSERY-

Oof. Shit hurts.

The sword blast compiled with his emotional pain is just too much for this dude to handle rn.

Reflecting on his time with his "friend"

Guess that kiss in the library wasn't the last one...Vio seems reluctant to keep going back for more, pushing shadow off. We can assume why he shouldn't be doing that oops.

Shadow's not satisfied with that though and keeps giving our man kisses. Vio's really shitty attempts to bat him away aren't working.

It's safe to say: Vio lost the plot at some point.

It's obvious they're drunk as fuck, but the exact timing of this scene is up for interpretation as far as I'm concerned.

I do find it funny Shadow whines Vio is "So mean to him" just cause he won't let him shower him with kisses lmfao. Like Shadow he's about to do smth to you that's way meaner let's be real-

Shadow Link brings up the all to important LORE of the golden goddesses.

Okay but everything about this becomes ironic later lmfao I will not say how.

Cause the Triforce is like, non existent in FS I can do whatever the hell I want sooo I'mma cook. I like where I took it a lot.

Shadow's desires to touch the Triforce are uh...VERY EXPLAINED LATER to say the least.

Art wise in this page: Oh it was so fun.

1st panel: Shadow continuing to kiss Vio's cheeks as he talks. It's sweet in it's own weird way that he clearly cares about Vio a lot

2nd panel: Obviously comparing Vio with a goddess and the Triforce shows how much Shadow values this man in his life, cupping his cheeks while doing so.

3rd panel: They both just look cute. XD

4rth panel: Vio's visibly hesitant to return the kiss that time. and in the last panel we don't see his face, but rather get Shadow hugging him deeply.

Vio's still grappling with his actions are gonna catch up to both of them pretty soon.

Vio's utter heartlessness in the words he spoke to Shadow in the Fire temple must have HURT.

Shadow knows that he bold faced lied to everyone in that room.

Also to note: They CLEARLY spent some TIME together, as there's the scene of Vio and Shadow laughing together on some grass somewhere...

Shadow KNOWS Vio at least a little and he can't comprehend why he acted the way he did.

The last panel was so much fun I love how it turned out.

Okay but like: THIS LTIERALLY ALWAYS BOTHERED ME.

The idea Shadow betrayed Vaati being a fault of SHADOW'S character is such bullshit which just adds to the "Vio pulled this out of his ass" nature of his speech.

In every way: SHADOW BETRAYING VAATI IS A GOOD THING.

In WHAT WORLD is him turning his back on the EVIL GUY a bad thing???

His motives were 100% selfish but HOLY BALLS HE WAS WILLING TO GO NUCULAR ON GANON AND VATTI AND SAVE ZELDA FOR SOME VIUSSY. THAT'S DEDICATION.

Also, literally everyone's motivations for everything they do is selfish in nature, so the idea Shadow's the dick here is just, hysterical.

Vio was 100% projecting his own insecurities onto Shadow not trusting and being apart of his own team cause Vio's awful, cause let's be real: their situations are just NOT COMPARABLE.

Shadow's misstep no matter how you look at it, was trusting VIO. NOT betraying Vaati. HIS LITERAL POSITIVE CHARACTER ARC WAS STILL BETRAYING VAATI BY SHATTERING THE DARK MIRROR.

...SO WTF IS VIO'S SPEECH ABOUT EXACTLY??? IT LITERALLY MAKES NO SENSE PROBEBLY BECAUSE HE'S LYING HIS ASS OFF AND PROJECTING LMFAO.

Because his point wasn't "Find a team you CAN and DO trust and work with them." it was "You betrayed Vaati and you suck for that."

IT WAS PURE PROJECTION.

Idk if this is a translation oopsie or what. It was never brought UP so idk if it was even intentional or a genuine attempt at a moral going to shit and getting botched. X'DDDD (If it was intentional, that's funny but it was never expanded upon in any meaningful way so...IDK)

It gives weird as fuck mixed messages about what Shadow was MEANT to do here and what he ACTUALLY did wrong from Vio's chastising. Cause the reason Vio gives for his downfall is REALLY BULLSHIT. (In FSR, Intentionally so.)

Because

"Your downfall was that you were selfish and still wanted to rule the world and were willing to use used people like me and Zelda to do it, you just repeated the mistakes of Vaati" or smth would even be more accurate.

STILL HYPOCRITCAL ON VIO'S END CAUSE HE USED SHADOW BUT WOULD MAKE MORE FUCKING SENSE.

Giving massive rebound AU vibes here lmfao.

Audience is intentionally left in the dark about wtf Vio and Green were talking about...For no reason I'm sure. Authors don't think that hard about stuff-

Also left out on why they're sharing a bed. Bet that will NEVER get touched on. In ANY meaningful way.

The point of this scene is pretty obvious: Vio IS getting along with his team now. Which mega hurts Shadow to see ouch.

It's the equivalent of that Squidward meme of him in his house while Spongebob and Patrick run outside-

Green essentially has taken his place. Pain. We all know nothing but PAIN.

Shadow can't bare to watch Vio thrive without him cause he's selfish as fuck. X'D Just hurts too much. He wanted Vio to fill the gaps in his life and it just DIDN'T happen.

Haha you read the manga you recognize this. I don't gotta elaborate much.

I always just, am in love with Shadow turning into VIO of all people during this part in the story because, holy BALLS I can't even really describe the kind of itch that scratches in my brain but I will try.

So in FS, we KNOW Shadow can shapeshift into ANY of the Links, but he chose Vio. Dude has been Green/Link before so...WHY NOT GREEN? Uh simple: Bro adores Vio and looks up to him, that's the reasoning I came to anyway, as explained in these pages.

This is why in FSR in the library Shadow Link specifically describes Vio as "his hero". Vio's the one out of the four he looks up to most, because after reflecting Vio is the one that did the most "Heroic" things in his eyes.

He realized the betrayal wasn't out of malice or to hurt him, but to save Zelda.

The reasons Vio gives in the library for why he's utterly awful as a person are the same things that made Shadow respect his ass for what he put himself through lmfao.

This is also why in FSR dude isn't MAD at Vio for it anymore. He just wants to repair what they DID have there between them because bro adores Vio.

So if yall didn't know Shadow uses the mirror to see Vio.

Like, you can see him in the shattered mirror lmfao.

At least I THINK it's meant to be Vio. When I first read the manga I thought it was Shadow Link. XDDDD But now I'm fairly certain it is Vio. If we ever get a full color manga I'd love to know who it's actually meant to be.

Shadow's sad he won't know if Zelda's okay. Which is sad. And wishes he could see Vio, which is why the mirror SHOWS Vio. Lol.

Sad pathetic Vaati being hilarious aside, Vio being so distraught he drops his sword is kinda funny. And here's the retcon of "Vaati didn't die actually.

I already went on the rant in the actual thing that YES Shadow's death still meant smth despite Vaati living, because they wouldn't be able to beat Gannon without the gems Vaati gave up from this, so I won't repeat myself here.

Blue's "HOLD UR HORSES BITCH" is so funny to me because like, he HAS no emotional attachment to Shadow and the last they saw of HIM was him ya know, trying to kills their friend lmfao.

Vio pulling a very dying Shadow into his arms, because we deserved that. Green picks up Vio's sword cause he's cool like that.

Vio is OBVIOUSLY trying very hard to keep it together here, kept the dialogue MOSTLY the same from the OG because the dialogue wasn't the issue to me it was the freaking SHOT LAYOUTS AND THE ART. The art was well drawn but the actual like, things happening were kinda silly imo.

I particularly like the return of the "Shadow pets Vio's face/hair" motif.

It pops up in page 40

and page 77

And in terms of flashbacks in 169 Yes haha funny number He strokes Vio's cheek before going in for the kiss.

And many others but I'll avoid too many cause of image limits.

Shadow usually does this when Vio's upset which is funny. We know Shadow does stuff to others he wishes people did for him so maybe Shadow just wants his cheek stroked and to be told nice things lmfao.

Another thing: I mentioned it before but I don't really like when people make Vio cry too easily. Just not for me.

But Shadow dying makes sense for him to cry. Especially in FSR where we saw WAAAAY MORE of their relationship and how involved Vio really was with Shadow.

Vio, reluctantly did really like Shadow Link and is heart broken he is dead.

*I SUPER wanna show/talk about the "After they think they killed him in the fire temple" but there's a reason I did not show wtf Green and Vio were talking about when Shadow saw them in the dark mirror hehehehe. Vio's perspective on RIGHT after they blasted him with the sword is smth you can just speculate on for now.

He is obviously DISTRAUGHT Shadow is dying now.

So, its' implied Shadow saw some of the things Link was up to before he made himself known. So in my silly FSR comic he could see through Link's Shadow at what he was doing.

Art details:

Red crying at somebody dying just made sense to me it was actually WEIRD to me he didn't cry Shadow died. Not because he's emotionally attached, but dude's just an emotional person he cried at less hah.

Green STEPS UP and says his lines from the manga

I said in the OG post of the comic my thoughts on these particular panels but like

Green having just a TIIIIINY bit more agency in him holding Shadow's hand, a VERY simple gesture makes all the difference to me in this scene.

Shadow reasonably asks what we were ALL thinking: WHAT ABOUT ZELDA?!

Which OUCH, he didn't feel like he did enough-

To which Green comforts him they WILL save her.

I may ship Vidow to hell and back but Shadow's caring for Zelda and her affect on him is not ignored in this comic lmfao.

It's actually knowing Zelda's in safe hands that makes him comfortable enough to truly pass.

He knows Vio will be okay as he has his team but Zelda is someone he couldn't be sure about.

So panel 1

I just wanted to add the true level of "Yeah he dead".

Despite his hand passing through Shadow Link, Vio still tries to reach out to him. Which hehe reflects a scene from the very start of this comic huh?

He has unfinished business around Shadow.

He never got to truly say he was sorry.

If you've noticed, Vio STILL hasn't apologized yet.

Okay thumbnailing this scene genuinely gave me the big sad lmfao.

He missed him by a hair, Shadow's gone and Vio couldn't say all the things that were on his mind.

And since you totally asked:

Page 12 is put into a new perspective huh?

He reached him this time...

Green continues to be the goodest of good boys comforting his team mate.

There's an underlying sense of Green knowing more about Vio and Shadow's relationship than the other two...Which makes sense considering Green's the one Vio went to for comfort over the situation.

So some of the dialogue around Shadow's "good boy" status was changed because I just, straight disagree with some of the wording in the manga...

He did AWFUL things but he wasn't exactly a 100% bad person. Ironically, given a chance he could have been a great person. (The opposite of what he tried to do to Vio.)

His nature of being Link's Shadow, the HERO's shadow being on full display with his final moments (Or, what COULD have been his final moments...)

Blue's shocked Shadow would do anything to help them, reasonably so. His experiences with Shadow have been:

He tried to seduce their team mate to the dark side, almost KILLED said team mate, put them through hell and back and generally was awful to them.

Red sympathizes with BLUE (At least somewhat) so I imagine he's a lot more forgiving from this angle to Shadow. XD

Green's feelings about Shadow are a bit more OPEN to interpretation here but he did make an effort for the man to die without regrets. Later in FSR he seems to have a positive outlook on Shadow so whatever Vio told him might have made him more comfortable with him in these moments and the future.

I'mma cut it off here, which sucks because this transition is PERFECT into the next scene but I don't wanna hit image limits halfway through a rant.

Green continues to be a chad. What's new.

Him being in front of his team protectively is just...Yum. I love protective Green. XD

GANNON APEARS. Big piggy boy. I had no idea I could draw pig before drawing this and I'm happy with how he turned out.

His rant in the OG manga of speaking how Vaati and Shadow Link failed him leads directly into the next scene which was, delicious. But we'll pick this up later.

I'm sure you've noticed: As a time saving technique I only use shading when it SUPER matters in FSR. It helps save time and makes them have huge impacts. XD

The intense dark shading on Ganon makes him look threatening as HELL compared to what he'd look like without it.

For reference: This is what he'd look like without it.

He looks silly. XD

His color palette was based on the game btw. Because, what else did I have to go on? The intense shading also hides that he looks kinda out of place color wise haha.

#four swords returns rambles #fsr rambles

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theotherace · 3 years ago

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Can you talk about any Harutara headcanons you have? Or maybe an AU where you have them as a pair?

Yes, I can and yes, I do have an AU that features them! Though they aren't the focus there. Nobody but Aang and Toph ever is when I write, lol.

They're a couple in "his father's weight", where they get together at around 19/20 and stay together without much drama till death does them part.

The biggest fight they ever have is over whether to live at the South Pole or somewhere in the Earth Kingdom, and that argument ends almost as soon it starts, because Haru soon understands how important it is for Katara to stay home and keep rebuilding. He can live anywhere, as long as there's some earth to bend, which can be arranged, and as long as he's with her.

They have to travel every now and then, anyway, (his wife is so important, it's insane, and he's so very proud of her), so it's not like he's never gonna see the Earth Kingdom again. They visit his parents from time to time, too. This'll be okay. (It's still a big decision, of course, and he's pretty home-sick for a little while after actually moving, but Katara's home becomes his home – their home – soon enough. That the people are fairly welcoming helps. A lot.)

I like to have Katara be a teacher post-war, once things have settled down a bit. She opens a school where absolutely everybody is welcome, no matter the gender, no matter how talented or experienced, because everybody deserves to understand and to master the gifts they've been given. Haru is one hundred percent in support of this, of course. He helps out around the school (the kids have a blast fighting a non-waterbender), and more or less everywhere and with everything around the village until they have their own children, at which point he becomes a stay-at-home dad.

They have two kids, a girl and a boy, Kya (obviously) and Tyro (for now), and they are both very much planned for. (In German, planned kids are called "Wunschkinder", as in "wish(ed for) children", and I am very sad English doesn't have a word as cute. Anyway.) Kya's an earthbender and the older kid, Tyro is a waterbender and about two years younger than her.

And just ... yeah. Harutara is a very angst-free, fluffy ship for me. Once they get together, there's no big hurdles to overcome anymore (other than what life throws at everybody), and they're happy together and supportive of each other. They adore each other. They inspire each other. Haru strikes me as a "That's my wife!" kinda guy, and he doesn't mind at all being introduced as "Master Katara's husband". He probably introduces himself that way. Katara loves his spirit and the way he looks at her and how comfortable talking to him always has been. Also, she likes his mustache. Fight me on that one, lmao.

And ... that's it for now. I really do like this ship. Shame it's such a rarepair. Thank you for the ask!

#atla #avatar: the last airbender #my asks #katara #haru #atla haru #harutara #if this reads rambly that's because i'm tired oof #i don't like being amongst people again lol

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dairy-farmer · 2 years ago

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Okay, first of all, how dare you turn my vaguely kinky midnight ramblings into what was basically a fic and somehow make it amazing?! Second of all, Oh, My, God, you get it. I loved reading your reply. After I read it the first time I immediately went back and read it again! It was so good and it was everything I wanted! I loved the way you wrote Tim and Bruce, a mix of a soft love story and two broken people finding solace in one another while everyone in the background is experiencing a totally different story! And the relationship between Tim and his new step kids, oof, so good. I love how everyone is trying to save Tim, to try to help him escape when in fact this is everything he ever dreamed of.

He's living his own little Cinderella story and everyone just thinks he's been abused or groomed. God, I would read 100k more words of this and never tire of it. And Tim, knowing and enjoying the fact he's always being watched by Bruce, never forgotten even when he's alone (so different from when he was just a lonely little kid!). Tim getting to be a stay at home Mom, his little family his whole world. Tim who is adored and spoiled by both his loving husband (and you just know he uses that title as much as he can, loves how utterly Bruce owns him) and his children who adore and love him unconditionally. Tim who loves when Bruce comes home with little gifts because he saw them and thought of Tim, who just doesn't want to be forgotten. Tim who loves being dressed and posed and used by Bruce. Who is always either being adored and loved by Bruce or is taking care of his children who depend on and love him. Tim really is just out there living his best life lmao.

I do think I want to know what Alfred thinks as time goes on, and Dick and others too. Do you think they'd ever accept that this is Tim's happily-ever-after. That Tim is broken just as Bruce is, but he's just better at hiding it? That ten kids in, and 15 years later, the family realizes Tim wants to be Bruce's little trophy wife, wants to spoiled and owned? That Tim is just as ruthless and vicious as Bruce when it comes to protecting and keeping his little (or not so little anymore) family safe and happy? Do you think Jason and Dick and maybe even Damien in their attempts to 'save' Tim find a way to even welcome him to the family as one of them? Or do you think they'll never be able to accept him. Never see him as anything other then a soft, sweet victim. As someone who must be protected. Maybe even someone to be looked down on and pitied for falling for a man as emotionally distant as Bruce.

Sorry, I'm just so thrilled about your 'Not-A-Fic' fic you wrote and I highkey want to hear more about your thoughts! Thank you again.

Btw this is thriple heart anon! I still really love your writing, regardless of rating!. Cheers ~♡♡♡

thank you so much!!!!! i'm so happy you enjoyed it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

as for their behavior down the line i feel like it's a bit of a split.

alfred is definitely unhappy, i tried to include his disposition when bruce heard jason talking to alfred about bruce and tim. alfred is trying not to think the worst of the bruce but at the same time...he can't help how it looks.

he knew something was going on with bruce, he knew it.

bruce stayed later at WE something he hated to do. he'd been so distant after jason started college and all his children rarely occupying the manor. but then he started getting better so alfred hadn't looked too deeply into it. he was pulling away from ms. kyle something that had definitly surprised alfred since he was certain bruce was more than content to allow her to lead him on for the rest of their lives.

alfred met timothy a few times. four to be exact. he never mentions it to the boys because he just knows what they'll demand to know every detail and the truth was...alfred hadn't considered their meetings to be of much note. he'd called the boy a few times at the office, usually to inform him to changes and adjustments that needed to be made to bruce's schedule. he'd met him the first itme when hedropped off a change of suit for bruce, a second when he dropped of the lunch that he'd left behind.

timothy had been perfectly amiable, pleasant and he'd thanked alfred for his help. that was it, that was all they'd interacted until the third time. alfred had seen papparazzi photos of him and master bruce shopping for flowers and then seen him again with him slowly inching down the aisle unaccompanied. the poor child had been alone and walking even though his estranged father had been right there staring at his child with grief and regrets written across his face.

he'd leaned toward master bruce like a flower to the sun, every bit of him written with devotion to the man that was now his husband.

timothy's dress was a pure virgin white. long and like something out of a 1960s catalogue paired with some white gloves that reached up to his elbows.

alfred watched them sway the night away on the dance floor only reluctantly pulling away to cut the cake, the flavor chosen by timothy.

funfetti cake. a favorite since his childhood apparently and it feels like a cruel joke almost. that this child is choosing a childhood comfort food as the cake eaten on his wedding day.

alfred knows the rest of the guests sturggle to swallow the, frankly delicious, cake when they learn that.

master dick refuses to eat the slice handed to him by a waiter. and master jason glares at him when he eats it because he's never quite left behind his obsession to never waste even a scrap of food.

a year later and alfred meets timothy for the fourth time.

it's at an unremarkable grocery store and timothy is pushing a cart with a quietly fussing baby strapped to his chest.

timothy stumbles at the sight of him before a soft, greeting smile stretches across his face.

master bruce is wildly possessive of timothy, keeping him and his small family in the penthouse. timothy hadn't left the home while pregnant and it seemed like he was only just starting to venture out more as he approached alfred.

timothy's voice is soft and pleasant just as alfred remembered it when he'd recited his vows to never leave bruce, to stay by his side eternally, and to live for his happiness.

timothy thanks him for the casseroles and soups he'd sent to the penthouse when he'd heard tim was pregnant.

alfred had been as taken aback and then ashamed when he'd heard. he hadn't tried to interfere. not when there was the risk of alienating master bruce completely. so unlike master dick, who'd loudly protested and argued with bruce at dinner, eventually storming off or stewing in the awkwardness like jason.

alfred had retreated to what he knew best, what he was comfortable with.

timothy is in good health. his cheeks are flush with life and there are slight dark circles under his eyes but that can be attributed to the small baby held close to his chest.

alfred's eyes can't help but flickering down to the little thing. he'd seen pictures of them. just pictures. but master bruce hadn't yet brought timothy or the infant over to the manor yet.

when dick calms down more is what he'd stated. he hadn't wanted his wife or child to be frightened especially given their last brush with the family.

timothy sees him looking and smiles, leaning over and letting alfred peek at the sweet babe sucking on a chubby little fist and gripping his mother's shirt with the other.

alfred just stares because the baby is- is...they're the spitting image of master bruce.

they talk a bit longer and eventually timothy shyly asks alfred for the recipe of his butternut squash soup. and in either a moment of insanity or pure recklessness- alfred invites him over to the manor so he can teach him.

they shop for the ingredients and alfred waits, watching as timothy straps the little baby into his car seat and follows him to the manor.

master bruce arrives home, likely having traced the tracker alfred could see blinking on the baby's binky, to the sight of timothy and him listening to the radio and cooking together.

the kitchen is livelier than it's been since news of master bruce's engagement broke.

master damian is stealthily watching from where he's seated at the island, green eyes on the squirming baby that's staring up at him in blank-eyed baby fascination.

master dick is up in his room as is master jason. alfred is under no illusion that they're unaware of who will be joining them for dinner.

master bruce is...his gaze goes soft when he steps into the kitchen.

damian hardly pays him mind still maintaining a staring contest with his younger half brother.

master bruce hold's timothy's full hips and hugs him from behind, pressing a tender, intimate kiss to the line of his neck.

dinner is not awful. it goes better than alfred had hoped.

jason is curious about the child, about timothy as well.

the two of them strike up a conversation about a librarian from the school they'd attended they'd despised.

damian sips at hot soup, staring at a baby that it still meeting his eye while he nurses from his mother's breast.

dick is blushing and too busy looking away from the sight from some sense of gentlemanly decency to start anything and bruce is languid at the head of the table. calm and satisfied like a lion overlooking his territory.

it becomes a weekly occurance. the dinners.

after a while jason opens up more to timothy but whenever they're speaking if bruce comes up and presses a kiss or wraps a hug around him, jason's words will falter for a moment.

damian, despite his initial reaction, seems to accept the relationship more than they all do. his fascination with having a brother, with being a big brother may pay a major role in it. it's five years later when they're exchanging gifts on christmas that damian, with his head held up with every bit of his pride, hands timothy a gift wrapped in a bow and a tag that says 'To: stepmother'.

timothy kisses damian's cheeks and thanks him for the gift while using a hand to support his belly.

jason is acting as a 'giddyup horse' for his oldest nephew much to his exaggerated reluctance and alfred is sitting by the fire. warm sweater covering him as he gently holds the hand of a 9 month old babe that's nestled on the crook of his arm.

alfred cannot say that he certainly supports all of this. he cannot say he doesn't wish that master bruce had waited until master timothy had at least been...older.

but as he stares down at the cooing baby in his arms, staring up at him and furiously sucking on a tracker-embedded binky- he can't say that the outcome is all bad.

it's become clear to him that master timothy has no wish to be anywhere aside from in master bruce's arms.

and reluctant as he may be, he may have to accept that.

but...alfred chances a glance at a quiet dick grayson, nursing a mug of eggnogg.

he doesn't start fights anymore, doesn't sling accusations.

but he does not accept. not really.

there is some part of dick that cannot believe that someone could love bruce's deranged obsessive, controlling self like timothy does. maybe it's guilt. that he couldn't handle it and left and here was timothy who took it in stride.

alfred's not sure. dick doesn't want to talk about it with him or anyone it seems.

being outnumbered he appears to have just resigned himself to having to accept by proximity.

there are times though.

when he'll stare at timothy, watching his laughing face and gaze at his pregnant belly and there will be a focus on his expression. like if he pays enough attention he'll catch a slip of the facade that he's certain has to be present.

the penthouse is a thing of the past and now the family is together rather than fractured and alfred...

alfred would like to believe that is a good thing.

#anonymous #asks #answered asks #civilian au

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separatist-apologist · 2 years ago

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Have you read crescent city? Did you like it?

I need a masterlist of all MB's SJM opinions. Every 500 followers or so I'm reanswering the same questions. It's a labor of love, though because at heart, I am a HUGE hater. Oh you thought I was nice? LOL.

Anyway I have read CC 1 & 2, and I guess I'll be reading 3, though it was my intention to DNF the series halfway through 2. I only finished 2 when the leaks of the ending were posted.

Did I like CC? No. I LOATHE CC. I think it's boring, first of all, and I'm tired of everyone saying this is her best work. It's maybe her most self-aware work, but I don't think it's her best. And like, good for her, loving this series and finding joy in writing but I hate it and I wish she'd finish ACOTAR before starting new books. Whatever.

My issues with CC are some of the usual- men obsessed with the love interest to singular obsession, the hiding of major plot points for no discernible reason which makes it read like sloppy writing. If you're IN a protag's head, and they have solved a major plot point mystery, forcing them to pretend they haven't for the sake of reader and then revealing oh yeah I knew...is bad writing and I'm tired of pretending its not.

The whole Danika thing has 0 emotional weight and when people were crying at the end of CC1 I had to ask myself if I was joyless. Like...Danika is a shitty friend, first of all, but secondly we spent 8 seconds with her. Is that enough time to bond? Not for me. Whatever.

CC drags ON AND ON, there is no reason for either book to be half as long as they are.

And finally, I HATE Bryce. I HATE her. I would rather re-read TOG and fall in love with Rowan than ever reread CC. I dread CC3- I think I might just skim it for Rhysand. Bryce learns 0 lessons, is not capable of change, endlessly sides with the oppressors in the human/angel war and has to be DRAGGED into it, despite having a human mother she swears up and down she loves and a mate who was enslaved during a rebellion, and was only very recently freed.

I cant stand how sexualized Bryce is- Ithan was my 13th reason in that book. Bryce reads like a Mary Sue- the prettiest, smartest, most powerful girl on the planet like great okay. Book 2 was practically Danika's book, who, upon examining her actions, thought very little of her supposed best friend. If I had government secrets I couldn't tell anyone, I would always tell my best friend. We were at sushi the other night whispering about a NDA lawsuit she's forbidden from speaking about, like Danika didn't even tell Bryce about her soul mate. Oof. Can't blame her though, Bryce is awful. The whole self-sacrificing of Lehebah for Bryce, who spends a whole book being mean and cruel to her...why?

Anyway this is a rambling mess. If you like CC, please know I'm not making any judgments. I know a lot of people really enjoy them, and that's perfectly fine. They are not for me.

#i am irritated im being forced to read a 3rd #i barely wanted to read the second

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sp00kymulderr · 1 year ago

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omgggg i'm sorry it took me forever to get to this but damn if it wasn't worth the wait. oof what a chapter. I have things I want to scream about, to no one surprise.

Ugh okay sorry if this is long and rambly and nonsensical!

one I am so so loving the interactions with Frankie and his friends as you write them, what a supportive group even if Benny is a little himbo fucker. It's so sweet that Frankie calls them together to plan out a date! They really are brothers, and they really love each other and I wanna cry every time I read them being accepting of him because he needs that so bad, he is so lucky to have them! 🥹🥹🥹🥹

Frankie getting ready for the date and being all cute and nervous again. I'll never get tired of it. He's so smitten already it's adorable, the way he worries about his hair and just wants things to be perfect. He's an angel actually. 🥺

RIVER well you know how I feel about River 💗. God.

they had a collarless shirt buttoned up all the way, tucked into plaid pants, and nice dress shoes. All black, of course. They wore no lipstick today, their makeup was simple, and their hair was perfectly straight. It looked like they’d freshly shaved the right side of their head as well.

I know they looked so hot. I want them, tbh. I also love all the little details about them you're giving us, like:

River talked with their hands a lot whenever they got excited about something

You put in all these little moments of detail that paint such a picture of the kind of person they are, how they appear and how they act. I feel like I'm really getting to know River.

Their date was sooo sweet in the diner, they seem so comfy together and the calm energy between them? Beautiful. Frankie being the quieter one, the listener, while River is a little more confident and easily carries the conversation is a dynamic I definitely feel suits them. I feel like Frankie needs someone like River with this like more confident, relaxed energy to keep his anxious little mind at bay. They’re perfect for each other. River is so calm about the revelation of Frankie being a dad and I think it’s fitting, just in how it seems like they can adapt to situations easily – maybe just me but that’s like such an queer thing like we have learnt to be cool and adaptable to all sorts of situations cause we’re so used to people not being able to adapt to our situation. (I think that makes no sense idk I'm hopped on up cold meds.)

“That’s because you’re old–” “I’m only a few years older than you,” Frankie deadpanned. “Details.”

Their banter makes me giggle and kick my feet every time. Cutie pies. 🤭 They are so in to each other it's disgusting(ly beautiful). 🥲

Had a small squeal at the passing mention that River has had top surgery ngl. Very special to me personally. Just, nice to read a character with those details. Thank you.

The smut is delicious and GOD they are so hot for each other I'm MELTING over here. Need a cold shower rn. 🔥

But the main things I am taking from this chapter? And I'll be honest reading this kinda made me cry. I think you understand why.

“The complicated answer, especially for someone so new to this, is that gender is a societal thing. How you’re perceived, presented to the world is just through the eyes of society. How you see yourself is what actually matters, though. And when all that societal bullshit doesn’t affect your life, the roles you’re ‘supposed’ to play don’t matter anymore.” “I’m River. River is me. I don’t care how people see me. I did all of this,” they gestured to their body. “For me. Not for anyone else. Because if I didn’t, I would be unhappy. And my own mental health and happiness matters more than some so-called church-going do-gooder’s opinion.” Frankie looked at River in awe. Their confidence and respect for themself was one of the most attractive things he’d ever seen.

I just...I aspire to have this level of confidence and care for myself and be so authentic to who I am. You've genuinely written a character who is actively inspiring me. I can't tell you how important that is, and how much it means to me.

And THEN you hit us with this:

“Exactly. Another way you could see it is you being attracted to people that are like you,” ... “And people who aren’t.”

And I am a mess, because yes. I have been told I can't be non-binary and identify as bisexual. I have been told bisexual people are not attracted to me, because I don't fit some gendered construct.

Sorry, too much detail about me and not enough about your FANTASTIC writing and wonderful story and brilliant oc and loving characterisation of Frankie and generally just how incredible you are.

I hope you know how incredible you are, erin.

Thank you for writing this.

into the beat of the night (ch 3) "self control"

moodboard by the lovely @hellishjoel, gif by me

pairing: frankie morales/enby!oc!river price (they/them) rating: 18+ (minors dni) chapter warnings: fingering, one (1) handjob, discussions of sexuality/gender (in an... interesting way), goth stereotypes abound, swearing, more cute shit word count: 3k dividers by @saradika beta: @scenaaario (ily adrienne ♥)

for notifications, follow @oakslibrary and turn on alerts ♥

series summary: frankie thought he had himself figured out by now. he liked both men and women, had dated both in the past. but when someone that challenges what he thinks that means comes into his life, in an unlikely place, he truly learns who he is, and more importantly, who he loves.

series masterlist

“What’s their name again?”

“River. I already told you, Benjamin,” Frankie chuckled, taking a drink from his beer.

“Right, sorry. I’ve just never met a non… what was it again?”

Frankie, Benny, Will, and Santiago were at their usual bar that night. It was in a different part of town than The Night Owl, with a completely different vibe, but it was cozy. The four of them had become regulars and knew the staff by name.

“Non-binary person,” Will said, shoving Benny on the shoulder. “Are you listening at all?”

Benny shot his brother a look and stuck his tongue out, because apparently Benny was still five. “Of course I’m listening! Non-bi-nar-y,” he sounded it out, tapping his finger on the table with each syllable. “What does, uh… What does that like, mean, Fish?”

Frankie furrowed his brows and took another drink. “I haven’t actually asked yet. All they told me is that they’re like… both, and neither, at the same time.” He hummed thoughtfully. “I was a little distracted after that and didn’t get to ask.”

Santiago grinned, slapping Frankie on the shoulder. “Good for you, Fish.”

Frankie rolled his eyes, but smiled, thinking about the kiss he shared with River the other night. They kept texting, and he’d even asked River out on a real date, which brought the guys to the bar. It had been a year or so since his last date and he needed advice on where to take someone like River. He wasn’t as familiar with the goth subculture and thought maybe his brothers would have experience. At the very least Ben, who’d been with a few different kinds of people.

“I did look it up that night after I got home, but I’m still a little confused,” Frankie shrugged.

“Just ask them, man,” Will offered. “They seemed cool with your first question.”

Frankie nodded, a look of determination crossing his features. “You’re right. It couldn’t hurt, right?”

Frankie was sweating. Marisol was with her mom this week, so he hadn’t had to worry about having that conversation yet. He was planning on telling River about her tonight. He checked his hair in the mirror again before he left, deciding to go without his hat tonight, but worried all his nerves would deflate the work he put into it. He sighed as he messed around with the unruly curls again. This is why he stuck to hats. Frankie’s phone vibrated on the bathroom counter, startling him.

ok im ready, eddie 😉

River still thought it was hilarious that Frankie had worn an Iron Maiden t-shirt to a goth club, claiming that it fit his “old man aesthetic”, whatever that meant. This led to River referring to Frankie as “Eddie”, after the band’s skeleton mascot.

Yeah yeah i’m coming

Frankie saw the typing dots appear and disappear a couple times before disappearing completely. He sighed to himself and checked his hair one last time before leaving his apartment.

When he got to the neighborhood of the address River had given him, he checked his phone again, making sure he was in the right place. He slowly crept up the hill towards the last line of apartments and immediately his heart started pounding. Frankie really liked River. He didn’t want to fuck this up, and hoped him being a dad wouldn’t ruin that. Or his big dumb mouth.

River was standing at the bottom of the staircase of the apartment complex and waved, a huge grin on their face. Frankie stopped the truck and leaned over to open the passenger side door for them to climb inside. The scent of bergamot, clove, and sandalwood filled his nostrils again as the truck door shut. Frankie calmed down, and smiled, leaning over to give River a kiss on the cheek. “You look amazing,” he breathed, taking in River’s outfit; they had a collarless shirt buttoned up all the way, tucked into plaid pants, and nice dress shoes. All black, of course. They wore no lipstick today, their makeup was simple, and their hair was perfectly straight. It looked like they’d freshly shaved the right side of their head as well. River’s look was so new for Frankie, he couldn’t help being captivated by them every time he saw them.

“Thank you,” River smiled, heart skipping a beat. “Where are we off to?” They rested their ring-clad hand over Frankie’s larger one in between the two of them on the seat. “When you said it was a surprise, I admit I got a little nervous.”

Frankie placed his hand on the back of the truck seat and looked behind them as he backed up to leave the apartment complex. River’s eyes were glued to Frankie’s neck and subtly licked their lips at the sight of the thick muscles and veins. Their eyes moved up to Frankie’s side profile and they swooned.

“How come? Don’t trust me?” Frankie smirked, making eye contact before his eyes moved to the road, and started heading toward their destination.

River shrugged, even though they knew he couldn’t see them. “Maybe. Maybe not,” they smirked. The red light of the clock on the console caught River’s eye; 7:30pm.

“Well, that’s a shame. I had a nice dinner planned and everything,” Frankie showed them an exaggerated pout, a twinkle in his eye.

“Oh, well, in that case.”

The restaurant Frankie picked might’ve been a little more… casual, then he remembered. The last time he was here was with Jackson. He shook off the memory. He was here with River now. The place was actually more like a diner, with vintage photos of women in pinup-style outfits and poses.

Frankie reached for River’s hand and laced their fingers together as he found them a table, letting River sit first.

“Such a gentleman,” River teased, squeezing his hand before getting comfy in the booth.

“I try,” Frankie smiled bashfully as he joined them on the opposite side. The light shining down onto the table lit River beautifully. He noticed that River’s button-up was actually a dark green, with subtle velvet roses all over.

They ordered their food and made easy conversation. River talked about their job as an architect. They were working on designing a building that was be built in the next couple of years in the city. Frankie found it fascinating but couldn’t focus on the words, too distracted by their calming voice and watching their mannerisms. River talked with their hands a lot whenever they got excited about something, and Frankie thought it was adorable.

“Sorry, I know I’m rambling now,” River shook their head, cutting themself off. Frankie frowned,mouth full of french fries.

“Please, continue, I don’t mind listening.”

So River did. They talked about anything and everything. Frankie interjected here and there, but was more than content to listen to River talk. When there was a lull in the conversation, Frankie’s palms started to get sweaty. Their plates were empty now, but River still had half of their milkshake left.

It was now or never. Frankie took a deep breath.

“So… I’ve been meaning to tell you something,” he started. River raised an eyebrow and rested their chin on the palm of their hand, listening. Frankie cleared his throat before continuing. “Um, so I know this is a dealbreaker for some people, so I won’t be offended if you want to stop things after tonight. B-But I would like to stay friends if that’s the case.” He rubbed his sweaty hands on his thighs. “I’ve got a daughter.”

River was quiet for a second before a small smile appeared on their face. “I’m actually not surprised. How old is she?”

“You’re not?”

“Of course not. You’re an incredibly handsome man of a certain age–”

“Hey.”

“And any woman would be stupid not to make an honest man outta you,” River winked.

Frankie blinked a couple times before chuckling softly. River continued to surprise him. “Well, her mother isn’t in the picture, at least not with me. Marisol, my daughter, sees her half the time, and stays with me the other half of the time,” he explained, crossing his arms comfortably over the table. “Oh, and she’s four.”

“Aww, can I see a picture of her?”

Frankie’s heart fluttered as pulled his phone out, opening the album of photos devoted just to his little girl. He slid his phone over to River and they started scrolling through the photos with a smile on their face.

“She’s adorable, Frankie,” River hummed, returning his phone back to him. “I can tell you think the world of her. I won’t lie, I’m not really… uh, a kid kind of person. I always just planned on being the cool cousin and not a parent,” they muttered, resting their chin on their palm again.

Frankie nodded in understanding. “I totally get that. I just figured it wouldn’t be fair to you, or to Marisol, to keep her a secret, y’know?”

“Absolutely, and I appreciate you telling me,” River nodded back. “But I like you. A lot. And I’m willing to give this a shot with you. So I don’t think Marisol is a dealbreaker.”

Frankie’s heart soared at River’s words. “I really like you, too,” he grinned like an idiot, cheeks warm. “C’mon, we still have another part to this date.” He stood up and held his hand out for River to take.

After paying, the two found themselves back in Frankie’s truck heading down the highway. It was starting to get darker and the roads were clearing. They pulled up to a drive-in, but there weren’t any other cars.

“What is this, Grease?” River teased. “A diner and then a drive-in movie?”

Frankie snorted and reached out his window to pay for their tickets before finding somewhere to park. “I happen to like drive-in movies and diners, thank you very much.”

“That’s because you’re old–”

“I’m only a few years older than you,” Frankie deadpanned.

“Details.”

About a third of the way into the original Halloween, Frankie put his arm around River’s shoulders and pulled them close. River happily cuddled into Frankie’s side, loving the warmth and softness they found there.

Halfway through, River’s eyes started wandering elsewhere. They looked down at the crotch of Frankie’s jeans, and wondered what lay beyond the tight denim. They looked up at Frankie’s face and kissed the little patch in his beard that refused to grow hair. Frankie looked down at them, deep brown eyes looking over River’s features. He went from their dark-rimmed eyes, to their collarbone, and back to their plush lips, his heart pounding. He didn’t need any further convincing and started kissing River deeply, holding the side of their face.

River hummed into Frankie’s mouth and slowly crawled into Frankie’s lap. They grinned as Frankie huffed a breath against their lips, holding River’s hips in his large hands. River kissed the corner of Frankie’s mouth before moving down to the side of his neck and sucked a mark where his neck met his shoulder. Frankie shuddered, moving a hand down and squeezing River’s ass. They lifted their head and looked at the far-away expression on his face.

“Are you one of those guys that doesn’t like to fool around on the first date?”

Frankie blinked up at River, thinking about it. “I mean, no, but–” “Good,” River growled, latching back onto Frankie’s neck and sucking hard.

Frankie moaned openly at that, but pulled them away. “Wait,” he breathed. River tilted their head to the side and didn’t say anything, letting Frankie continue. “Um, I had another question.”

“Okay.”

“Well, uh. I don’t mean to kill the mood, because God, I really wanna get back to that, b-but I was curious,” Frankie swallowed, not making eye contact again. “I looked up what non-binary was after you told me and I was a little confused, and basically I just– Um, I wanna know like, how… this would… work,” he trailed off, gesturing between the two of them and at the bulge in his jeans.

“You’re asking what I have so you know how to proceed.” It was a statement, not a question, said softly in understanding. River played with the curls at the back of Frankie’s neck.

Frankie nodded. “If that’s an invasive question, I’m really sorry, and–”

“Shh,” River chuckled, pecking Frankie on the cheek. “It’s okay, I promise. I’m not offended. You’re actually being really sweet about all of this. I know this is new for you.”

Frankie smiled shyly and shrugged, but let them continue.

“I was raised as a girl. ‘Assigned female at birth’, is typically what we call it,” River looked down, playing with the collar of Frankie’s shirt. “You were assigned male at birth. The doctors looked at your parts and decided that’s what you were, and you never felt like it was incorrect, right?”

Frankie nodded, listening carefully.

“Right. Well, it felt wrong to me. I didn’t really know what the feeling was growing up. It’s actually kind of a recent development for me.”

Frankie chewed on his bottom lip, one question still buzzing around his head. “How do you… How did you know? And did you… have any… surgeries? To um–” he didn’t know how to word any of this.

River laughed softly. “Yeah, I had top surgery. I no longer have breasts, as I’m sure you’ve noticed. Everything below the belt is still intact,” they grinned, moving their crotch closer to Frankie’s. “The complicated answer, especially for someone so new to this, is that gender is a societal thing. How you’re perceived, presented to the world is just through the eyes of society. How you see yourself is what actually matters, though. And when all that societal bullshit doesn’t affect your life, the roles you’re ‘supposed’ to play don’t matter anymore.”

“I’m River. River is me. I don’t care how people see me. I did all of this,” they gestured to their body. “For me. Not for anyone else. Because if I didn’t, I would be unhappy. And my own mental health and happiness matters more than some so-called church-going do-gooder’s opinion.”

Frankie looked at River in awe. Their confidence and respect for themself was one of the most attractive things he’d ever seen. “You’re amazing,” Frankie breathed, surging forward to kiss them deeply. He gripped River’s ass again and pulled them closer, grinding his hardening cock against them.

River moaned softly, grinding back, and tangling their fingers into his hair. Suddenly, Frankie pulled back, catching his breath.

“Wait, does that, like…” He thought for a second. “While I was doing my research, I came across a couple other terms I didn’t know.”

River chuckled and kissed down Frankie’s neck softly. “Go on.”

Frankie’s breath hitched, speaking shakily. “Um, I’ve always considered myself b-bisexual– oh– a-and if non-binary people are technically a th-third gender, then does that change?”

“No,” River hummed, licking underneath Frankie’s ear, before taking the lobe into their mouth and nibbling.

“It doesn’t?”

River shook their head. “Bisexual is more like an umbrella term. People interpret it differently,” they reached a hand down between them, trailing their fingers to Frankie’s belt buckle and undoing it. “For example, you’ve always assumed it just meant you were attracted to men and women, right?”

Frankie moaned softly as the pressure was relieved from his hard cock, and nodded.

“Exactly. Another way you could see it is you being attracted to people that are like you,” they gripped Frankie’s cock tightly, making him gasp sharply. “And people who aren’t.” They grabbed his hand and placed it onto their crotch, grinding against him.

He was so hard he was throbbing, and so turned on his head spun. He started undoing River’s dress pants and slipped his hand down to their panties, finding their pussy impossibly warm and wet.

“Fuck,” Frankie groaned, rubbing at their clit through the fabric of their underwear. River moaned sweetly and bit their bottom lip, moving Frankie’s boxer briefs out of the way so they could grip around his cock.

“You’re so hard,” River grinned, rubbing their thumb over the tip. They started stroking him slowly, watching as the head of Frankie’s cock appeared and disappeared underneath the foreskin.

Frankie was breathing heavily, resting his head on the back of his seat and looking at River through his lashes. He moved the tips of his fingers in small circles for a few moments before he moved his fingers beneath their underwear and touched bare skin. River gasped at the contact and nodded, giving him permission. Frankie slowly sunk his middle finger inside them and started pumping in and out. His thumb rubbed in time against their clit. River started moaning louder, throwing their head back to expose their throat to him.

Frankie saw an opening and latched his mouth onto their neck, marking them in return as his free hand held the back of River’s head. “You’re so fucking sexy,” he groaned, biting at River’s skin.

River shuddered at the praise, rocking their hips against Frankie’s hand. “‘M close,” they whined, panting down at him. They started to lose their rhythm on Frankie’s cock and squeezed him tightly in their fist. Frankie nodded in understanding and started moving his fingers faster, adding a second one as the slick sounds coming from between River’s legs filled the truck.

“C’mon, baby. You gonna come for me?” he breathed against their neck, leaving soft kisses against their skin. The contrast between what his mouth and what his hand were doing was overwhelming and River wouldn’t change it for the world.

River nodded, their brows moving downward in pleasure before stilling above him as they came. Their hips rocked back and forth over Frankie’s hand as they came down, moaning and biting their lip.

The sight of River coming was enough for Frankie and his cock twitched hard as he erupted all over River’s hand. He grunted and hid his face in their neck as his balls emptied messily. He whined softly, twitching in the aftershocks.

River giggled quietly and held him close after licking their hand clean. “Gonna have to blow you next time,” they hummed thoughtfully.

Frankie groaned as his oversensitive cock twitched between them. “Don’t say shit like that while I’m still vulnerable, you menace.”

River bit his cheek, then kissed it softly. “You love it.”

He did. He really did.

a/n: please enjoy this meme that inspired the scene above

#crying a little okay a lot #not me getting disgustingly sappy over itbotn again #i just love this story so much #i love them so much

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galaxywarp · 2 years ago

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hey, i hope it's okay to ask a question- i'm pretty sure you went to collage(and if you didn't then feel free to just delete this haha), so as someone currently in high-school i was wondering: is it worth like. learning? i cheat a lot because school just isn't for me but i was thinking about giving college a shot since i feel like being able to choose things i'm interested in would help a lot, and wondered if i should be putting in an effort to really learn too. i'm not worried about grades and getting accepted into college. but i'm worried about being behind and being stuck because i don't understand things. i'm mostly worried about math? but again i can totally try and actually learn, i just don't know if it's worth it at this point. basically: is high-school knowledge actually important for college?

Oof……ok, so, DISCLAIMER: I’m not sure if this is the Good, Responsible answer I should be giving you, so please take what I say with a grain of salt. I’m just one guy and quite frankly an AWFUL student, because school really wasn’t an environment I thrived in cuz of my mental health struggles/disability, but I still managed to get my bachelors degree sooo…..I’ll just tell you what my experience was

Again, THIS IS JUST MY EXPERIENCE AND PLEASE READ THIS WITH THAT IN MIND AND UNDERSTAND THAT MY EXPERIENCE ISNT UNIVERSAL OR NECESSARILY APPLICABLE FOR YOUR SITUATION!! Okay? Okay! cool!

So….I cheated in school. Quite a bit. Whenever I could look up an answer with google, that’s what I did. I learned from a young age that “learning” and “passing the class” were two very different skills.

I actually did NOT learn much of anything from my time in school. Like I said, I hated the environment. It made me super depressed and stifled my desire to actually learn and use my mind. I would do shit like put off all of my assignments until the last week of the semester and then do them all at once, or I’d finish a final project in a single night (I do not recommend doing this tho jndhdbsbdvsb it caused me a lot of stress)

So, Pretty much, i prioritized passing classes over actually learning anything from them. It wasn’t until I graduated and got real-life experience outside of a school setting that I regained my passion for my field and began genuinely learning again

But that’s focusing a lot on my years in college. You’re asking about high school. I will say this: a lot of my entry level college classes were actually easier than the harder high school classes. Math is a bit of an exception (especially because I’m naturally weak at it) in that it does follow a more linear “path” as you advance from algebra to calculus and their various levels, and it’s harder to fake your way through something like calculus 2 (I wasn’t able to. I failed the shit out of it)

But depending on what you’re going into, you may not need many math credits? I only worried about math when I thought I wanted to go into engineering. When I switched to information technology/software development, I only needed a basic Algebra credit. And I cried in relief because I no longer needed to torture myself into learning calculus lmao

I feel like im rambling now. Is any of this helpful? I carried practically no knowledge from high school to college, and even once I was in college I still barely learned anything. But I did graduate!

Sorry, it’s late and I’m a bit tired. I hope me sharing my experience helps you a little!! Feel free to ask me any other questions you might have, okay?

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jaaankiey · 3 years ago

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about me (& other)

hey everyone! i'm jankiey! i like writing cruddy bfdi fanfiction surrounding leafpin (them but evil!!!) and posting them on ao3! and i can't believe people read it, much less actually leave a few kudos here and there haha. i have a a quick and dirty faq section and a few additional notes here! i'll add more if i think of anything haha.

last updated: 03/12/22.

faqs i thought on the spot:

(subject to change)

why leafpin?

a good question and something i frequently ask myself. not really sure how exactly i latched onto leafy/pin, but it may be influenced by fics made from other authors! i also have a bad track record of latching on to rarepairs so naturally, i was pretty bummed out to see that on ao3 (the only fic site i frequent) is barren in the leafy/pin tag department. i sometimes do writing in my free time and thought "why not? let's see if i can make some material for myself".

okay, but why does your leafpin have that evil spin to it? cringe

OOF. a bit of a hot take but i dooooooooo kind of think that both of them in bfdi/bfb are a tad bit dry. like, where's the spice? i do get appealing to a young audience so it's something that i've kind of shrugged off. after all, fanfiction is fanfiction and the "what if pin and leafy were actually seriously morally grey" thought was too tempting to not use. it also makes writing the fics much more fun because i do love exploring the mental state of characters through good and bad.

any other ships you like?

just a few! i really like tennis ball/golf ball or tb/gb/8ball [the latter one being i kinda get that vibe to write something for since i can't find anything either haha]. apart from those 2 and leafpin, i don't think i have any other ships haha.

anything about you specifically?

i prefer not to, but i am a very tired adult still getting an education (which is why it takes me forever to get anything thrown on the ao3... like i'm dead tired most of the time haha). you can call me jankiey or any variation of that; my main accounts are ao3 and tumblr (so if you see someone stealing my fics ?? please let me know!!). i'm fine with people using any kind of pronouns for me (masc/fem/neutral) so don't worry too much about that. i also think the color blue is pretty rad.

additional notes:

feel free to ask me anything relating to my fics/future plots/general (still writing related) ramblings! i love talking to people but if i'm slow, i'm sorry! i also get overwhelmed easily!

please don't ask about when i'll update stuff. i know it can take me forever to update on certain works, but i'd love it if i didn't get pestered for it. I will get it done (eventually) haha.

i write dark themes such as death, violence, plots involving killing, etc... everything's tagged appropriately to the best of my abilities on ao3 but if this isn't for you, then do not interact/read please (i will also try to give a heads up on posts here kdjvnajdkv).

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something-tofightfor · 3 years ago

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First of all, congrats on the follower milestone!! I've been following you since mid 2019 (I checked) and it all started with a GEM called "Neon Lights". I'll never tire of saying how amazing this fic is and the myriad of emotions it makes me feel each time I read and reread it. You know how much I love "Just a Place" and the way I lost my absolute shit with "Take a Sip" (still feel like the punishment should have been worse, but hey, that just me and we all know I would NOT make a good queen) The way you used my chest cavity as a punching bag with "He's not Here" (and I say chest cavity cuz "Here Comes the Sun" has my whole heart safe and sound so you cant hurt it anymore). "Exist Row" and "Highway 1" are also gems that deserve way more recognition than they do. Your characterization in ALL your fics is absolutely phenomenal or as the kids say *chefs kiss*. Also, you as a person are one of my favorites, you dont hold back and tell it like it is, there is never a doubt in my mind that you say what you mean and mean what you say. Also, your hot takes add life to my decrepit soul. Also the triplets always put a smile on my face when they pop up on my dash. You're just a good dude y'know? Lastly, I just wanna take a quick moment to say thanks Rach, for sharing your stories, for every word of comfort and encouragement you've ever given me and for just being you💙💙💙

L A U R A. That's so long, I don't know how you've put up with me for two and a half years, hahaha.

(had to put this under a cut because it got long and sappy)

Your support for NL has been unbelievable. I feel like all of the art you've created for me and for it has enhanced that story so damn much. Seeing your work on the cover when I got them printed last year? Unbelievable. I cannot thank you enough. I won't ever be able to thank you enough. It might just be fanfic, but I'm really proud of that story and everything that goes with it. You'd made a great queen.... just wouldn't be as nice as Reader was ... and I think Caspian would have agreed with you.

The Ben character stories are all things I'm so happy I took a chance and wrote- and giving Logan his happiest ending in HCTS has been an absolute pleasure. HNH was hard to write in so many places, because I didn't want to change canon ... but OOF. Billy, I'm so sorry and I love you.

ER and H1 took off - especially after shadow and bullshit came out - and even though I have no plans to continue that series ... I can still look back on it and enjoy what I did with it. I've gotten so many compliments that say that RPF is usually really disrespectful, but those two stories didn't feel that way ... and that means EVERYTHING to me.

I appreciate your support and your friendship more than I can say. I'm so glad we started talking, and even if I never wrote a single word again, I hope we could keep in contact. I want people to be genuine when they talk about my writing, and I've never felt that you were being anything BUT. You mean a lot to me!

Thank you for listening to me whine and ramble and give my unpopular opinions. Thank you for sticking around. Thank you for EVERYTHING. I truly count you as a friend, Laura, and I hope that you know that I mean that wholeheartedly.

When - and if - you get a chance to read the stuff I've started writing for Pedro, I hope that you enjoy it, too.

Also... the triplets have some new Halloween costumes ready to go ... stay tuned for Sunday!

I've entered you into the drawing for the giveaway. Thank you for entering! Want to learn more about my 2,500 follower giveaway?

Check out the post here!

#ask something-tofightfor #thank you!#entry #2500 follower celebration #LAURA #gollyderek #a real one #thank you for being my friend

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august-writing · 4 years ago

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@hero-of-dork

Okay time to meta read. I'll do this scene:

I also don't know if this is gonna be true meta reading oof sorry if it's annoying oh man this is long oof...

Aithus squinting ahead at his comrade crouched further away from him in the long grass. He was a dismal sight with his drenched hat dripping streams of water.

Aithus is being just babey, has no idea what he's doing. Edmund is regretting this. He is so unhappy. Imagine a wet cat in the rain. Like the long fur type. That's him. But he's trying to pay attention and do this thing, cuz this kid is gonna die if he doesn't .

His comrade, Edmund, frowned at him and shook his head. He lowered his voice as he replied,

Aithus was a bit too loud, so Ed gave him a look lol.

"There's a watergate off in that direction, I believe," he threw Aithus a critical glance before continuing on. "we might be able to fit through, probably not the most comfy."

He isn't actually planning with him, he's just talking outloud. And has like, so little faith in Aithus's skills xD

"Oh, sure. Or we just move it out of the way. No big deal." Edmund wiped a stream of water coming down his hat off.

Slips into professional mode here, and his hat is paying a high price :(

"Move it?"

Edmund gave him a knowing smile as he rose from his position. He began making his way towards the gate as Aithus tagged along behind.

Aithus being baby again, and Edmund realizing he doesn't know how to do this xD professional Ed activated.

Who knew a bard could be this quiet.

I honestly just loved this line. It was funny, captured Aithus's thoughts. Edmund is a loud person, he sings a lot, talks a lot. You wouldn't expect him to be good at this.

After what felt like ages of tense lookout there was a gentle tug on his cloak and he turned to see Edmund gesturing silently to the gate.

Oho, Aithus the lookout just got snuck up on by the bard. Hmm I wonder what this means :)

Aithus did his best to catch up with him, but he quickly found that wading through water wasn't the easiest task to accomplish silently.

Once more he be inexperienced babey.

"We'll follow this waterway till we hit something we think might be our exit. Since neither of us have been in here, and don't know where we're going we're going to have to wing it." His quiet voice dimly echoed off the stone wall of the alcove. "Stay close around me, okay?" Edmund looked down at Aithus, his face firm and calm. "You don't know what you're doing so you might get lost."

Aithus nodded.

I find this scene extremely fun because Edmund is in charge, he's making the plans and leading it. Aithus doesn't realize this. He's going along with it all and following his directions, but he thinks of it like "the bard is following along". But nope, Ed is totally in charge here and is keeping an eye out for this little kid who can't do any of this xD

Edmund turned back to the opening of the gate and smacked the draping cloth of his hat back over his shoulder. He muttered something to himself about "should have left it behind" before ducking through the gate.

Too late to go back and put his hat somewhere so he's fussy about having to lug his fancy hat around during a heist

He held out his hand in anticipation, and Aithus handed over the blade. Using the tip he gently lifted it up before carefully placing it down again. Flipping the blade into a backhanded hold Edmund crossed his arms gazing thoughtfully down at the water.

Oho this bard sure is comfortable with this knife hmm. im sorry I'm teasing you guys, but im just :)))

"What's the problem, what are you thinking about?" Aithus glanced nervously from the lid to the darkly lit face of his companion.

"Nothing…" Edmund dismissively assured the lad with a shake of his hand. "Well," he turned to look at him, squinting in the gloom, "can you pick a lock?"

Aithus like a worried kid trying to be in charge is nosy. He can tell something is up that Ed isn't sharing and he's uncomfortable. Ed just doubting his young friend again :( trying to problem solve

Edmund threw him helpful comments and grunts of disgust when his blade scraped wrong against the metal and jarred his senses.

Aithus doesn't know what he's doing...and Ed is tired and wet and cold and wishes he could just do it instead of being tortured like this :(

"Okay, okay, that's enough." Edmund's voice cut louder than it had through their whole mission. He shifted his weight and Aithus bobbed along with him from his perch. "Give it a good solid push with your shoulder; but gently."

Ed is now done with this ear pain smh. Also giving confusing directions like the weirdo he is

He heard Edmund mutter to him to take his time and be cautious. The bard was right, if he made too loud of a racket getting this open they'd have the whole guard running on them.

Aithus just babey like :0 oh he's right wow. Has no idea smh

"Okay, you take to the left there and follow that light. You can probably find the records there and get the information that we need." Edmund bent down and whispered to Aithus, adding emphasis with his gestures.

"Wait, you're going with me." Aithus interrupted with a judgmental squint.

Aithus suddenly realizing that he was supposed to be in charge and not Ed xD

Aithus grimaced and darted a worried glance about. "No, no, bad idea."

"Don't worry, you got this. You're a sneaky little lad."

"That's not what I'm worried about."

And now we have Aithus who has no faith in the bard and thinks he'll get lost, and Ed who thinks the boy is scared :(

Edmund's eyebrows went up. "Oh, well okay then. I suppose I'll just follow you?"

"Isn't that your job?" He said bluntly and unamused, an eyebrow raised at him.

ED YOU GOT ROASTED. That's what you get for acting like an idiot u-u

Edmund took a breath in.

Irritated with this kid ugh :/

Aithus frowned up at him. "Alright, just, be quiet."

Edmund gave him a half smile and shrugged before slipping into the shadows, leaving Aithus behind standing there startled.

Aithus sounds like some soft of half convinced parent and,,, that's totally accurate xD And Ed is just showing off smh

Okay I'm done. Sorry this was so long and rambly and like???? Wasn't very oof idk hope it was fun at least!

#text #answer #aithus #edmund #throg #long post

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goth-giraffe · 5 years ago

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🖊 + your cyborg character (I mean? Cyborg?? Tell me more! xD) 🖊 + for any of your OCs (I'm just really curious to get to know more of your characters :D) I wold also suggest another one for Meredith... (if you want to ramble more about her xD)

Oh awesome! Yeah I always love to ramble about my OCs, I just wish I had more motivation to draw them haha xD Maybe this’ll help though- thank you!

Kaedyn~

Ah- my cyborg character is a pretty underdeveloped, for instance I’m not entirely sure on all their technological enhancements. They basically have really fancy prosthetics in place of at least one leg and one arm too. But anyway I’d love to ramble about them anyway! Their name is Kaedyn and they’re nonbinary! (I use neutral or feminine pronouns with them, I’m currently trying to use they/them but sometimes I slip up- it’s mostly because of my indecisiveness, but I don’t know, maybe they’re genderfluid?) And they live in a futuristic setting which is part of the reason they’re a bit underdeveloped compared to some of my other OCs, because I’m a dummy that wants to create characters in weird settings in theory, but then you have to come up with all these things about the setting to get to know the character better so… haha yeah.

But anyway! Kaedyn is really smart about some things but also very competitive. Not the type to back down from a dare. Whether it’s eating something gross or fighting the Hulk, to be honest… (And that may have had something to do with them losing a couple limbs, but who knows.) They call themself a cyborg mostly to intimidate people to be honest… there are still a lot of prejudices about cyborgs. And they do have at least two fully functioning robotic limbs so. Anyway they get kind of a “Don’t mess with a cyborg” attitude when people look at them weird or are just in general being rude.

They’re dating Numbers, who’s kind of the opposite of Kaedyn - she’s more of a brooding genius type. And she works for her eccentric aunt’s robotics company. They supply robotic prosthetics and other medical stuff like that, and yeah I imagine that’s how they met each other- Kaedyn calls in for tech support and talks past the remote control hologram or whatever, and immediately starts flirting when they start talking to an alive being… which was Numbers. Numbers speaks exclusively in number code though, and she doesn’t talk to a lot of real people (she lives with robots and her aunt Madlin) because a lot of people don’t understand her. But Kaedyn is smart, especially with mathematics and deciphering things so it doesn’t take them long to understand, and they think Numbers is adorable so, basically their relationship is the “extrovert takes introvert under their wing” trope.

Anyway, they like inventing things together. Kaedyn has a degree in engineering (or something? details fuzzy, sorry) and loves tinkering with stuff or rather tearing stuff apart pbbt and Numbers brainstorms schematics for new robots and stuff. Kaedyn is actually really smart, you just don’t see that a lot with their beat stuff up until it’s fixed attitude. (I don’t know if anyone here has seen The Red Green Show but Kaedyn’s motto? “If it ain’t broke you’re not trying!”) Besides that they cuddle or deal with Numbers’ mood swings… and eventually Madlin disappears and they have to take care of this prototype robot which is basically an experiment in artificial mental illness. …Which is not as fun as it sounds. xD

Oh. And Kaedyn refers to Numbers exclusively as “babe”. (Numbers is a nickname but her real name is actually undecided so…… Kaedyn just gives her another nickname haha.)

Okay. I get the feeling I am making absolutely no sense, I’m sorry. Mostly this is like, a vague comic idea I had? Mad scientist aunt disappears, no one really knows where. Her introverted niece has to take care of a prototype robot who thinks he’s a child and is kind of scared of everything… and cope with her partner who picks fights with anyone. …Yeah when I think about this goofy little story I for some reason imagine them in a black and white comic style. Like, Kaedyn’s got their tools and a broken robot on the table and they’re like “Babe where’s my wrench” while they’re scratching their head with it. Very smart but also very stupid is one of my favourite tropes ahaha

Okay I’m not sure who to ramble about next?? My characters are so underdeveloped, good golly.

Nicholas~

I’m gonna ramble about him even though I have seriously been thinking he needs a lot of work, I’ve actually been considering giving him a new name but, anyway.

He’s in a weird fantasy setting and he’s a dragon! His race of dragons though are basically humans that have can transform into dragons. Except the horns, tails, wing stumps, and some of them have weird eyes. But dragons have some magic and if they master it they can hide those things while they’re in their human form. Nicholas himself though has really only figured out how to get rid of the wing stumps. Still sleeps on his tummy out of habit though.

Nicholas is probably the most innocent character I have, to be honest. He’s very soft- he really likes flowers, braiding his hair or having his hair braided, also he’s very curious about humans. Which is weird for dragons, most of them think of humans as either very dangerous or mid-afternoon snacks. But Nicholas was raised differently, so he’s curious. Not to mention lonely. Dragons are actually pretty rare and he only ever met his parents, but he doesn’t remember his father very well (who died when he was young) and since his mother died in his teens he’s been alone.

I imagine at some point he befriends a witch and they possibly become a love interest for him but this is where it gets fuzzy and undecided. I do like to imagine he meets a human character and becomes close to them, I just haven’t really decided how that happens or if he meets just one witch or a family/household or what. But he also finds out he likes poetry, but he’s illiterate so he has to have someone read it to him. I imagine this in medieval times, so not many people can read but that’s also why I imagine a witch character because. Learning from spellbooks I guess. And just generally not really being part of the human population… and not being scared of dragons. Even though Nicholas would probably not scare many people pbbbt. xD Yeah, anyway. He likes to be read to.

I don’t know, most of my characters are just kind of vague ideas. He’s just a cute little forest creature who happens to be able to grow really big and breath fire. xD I’ve thought about making a more modern AU which would probably be easier to develop but yeah I really can’t decide.

Anyway, except for a couple forgettable doodles I haven’t actually drawn Nicholas… but fortunately, I do have an awesome drawing of him by @iridiscreate! I hope to do a serious drawing of him myself sometime, but I’m actually okay with that being his main reference for now- he looks very pretty! :D

Meredith~

Oh I’ll pretty much always take any chances to ramble about Meredith! Haha she’s the OC I know the most about to be honest xD

The first time her hair was cut short was because her mom was tired of having to chase her down to brush it. So there was a time when she was pretty young that her parents made her wear these big bows in her hair when she went out… she hated them, she still hates them, and her mom still tries to convince her to wear them when she comes to visit, because she cut her hair again. (Yeah… she has some family issues…)

Okay, Meredith loves music. She has kind of a complicated relationship with it, but she loves music. She usually has classical music playing in the background at her apartment, while she’s reading or whatever. She also plays violin, but she’s weird about that, she doesn’t usually listen to it when she plays (she wears ear plugs), and she mostly uses it as an outlet when her emotions get the better of her. She was much more enthusiastic about violin when she was a girl. She’s always had a love of music, it kind of runs in her family. She originally wanted to play piano like her grandfather (who was a singer/pianist in a bar) but her father wouldn’t allow that. Though when the violin option was allowed she was very excited, and when she was little she dreamed of being a concert violinist. Her parents mostly favoured violin because of the discipline it would require to learn and practice, and their past attempts to discipline her? Ehh, not so great. xD In the end though her parents killed her enthusiasm for violin. Their habit of displaying their daughters’ talents to their friends but otherwise having little interest was a bit discouraging… and for Meredith, very damaging. The older she got and the more she thought about it she felt her parents were disinterested in her from the start, so that led to a very rocky teenage years. (For instance she spent ages two to six (ish) being sent to her grandparents’ house a lot. Not with her sisters, no, just her- because she was being difficult and her parents were tired of her. So that hurt when she really thought about it.) So… anyway now she kind of loves and hates violin. Now when she plays it still brings her back to being the trophy her parents preferred to keep on the back of the shelf, but it also brings her back to being the little girl who was in love with music… so. Mixed feelings there. …

Did I have way too many Meredith feels while I was writing this and have to edit out most of my emotions later? NO absolutely not I’m not crying you are SHUSH

Oof I know I’ve already rambled a lot but one more thing. Just a cute little fact, not exactly about Meredith but still. She is her nephew Aidan’s favourite aunt. He’s like four years old and has blonde hair with bright blue tips, because he begged his mother (Meredith’s sis Jessie) to dye his hair blue. Anyway yeah, Meredith is pretty good with kids… they probably like her because she’s so weird. Funny though, because with her looking pretty much like the insomniac goth mess she is, she definitely doesn’t give off any maternal vibes to anyone else she meets… except kids. (It’s the blue hair again, it has magical powers. Haha okay I’m kidding. xD)

Anyway! Sorry for getting this answered so late ahh!! I swear I wasn’t avoiding this ask (I was actually very excited about it) but I kept getting interrupted in the middle of rambling so.. yeah. Anyway thank you again for the ask!! Sorry I rambled an ungodly amount!! xD

Send me a 🖊 to make me ramble about my OCs! (yeah no kidding about the rambling)

#I'm really sorry this took so long #I have not been able to focus the last couple days ahh #anyway thank you!#sorry again for having such angsty characters but I guess this time it's limited mostly to meredith ahaha #my poor meredith....#anyway. nicholas needs more development but he's a very soft baby and I love him #giraffe rambles #inbox games #leaphia #my ocs #meredith #kaedyn #nicholas #long post #echo answers

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