#if this doesn't make sense i can try to verbalize it better

[maebyshifting]

i can't remember where i saw it but some advice i saw was taking your stuffed animals (or a pet) and placing them in front of you and just talking about shifting. you can talk about possible fears (or find fears you maybe didn't know about or conflicting thoughts) you have without overthinking and allowing yourself to just talk through it without worrying about others judging or typing it all out. something i wanted to try out but i thought i'd share it too :)

[go-fornicate-yourself]

Every day I am in the trenches fighting for my life defending this poor man. He was going through so much and people online demonize him and say he's as bad as his abuser

(I've got a lot of thoughts about this so I'll make sure to separate things to make it easier to look at lol)

Curly is a victim of abuse. Jimmy is his abuser. This is something that I feel a lot of people tend to brush over or don't acknowledge it often.

And I'm not just talking about post-crash. Jimmy's abuse of Curly is there pre-crash too. The party scene where the crew learns about the company going under is a huge example of this. Jimmy verbally abuses him, he gaslights him, he blames him for their (his) misfortune. Jimmy accuses Curly of thinking he's better than everyone (better than him), that he doesn't care about them (about him). That he's going leave them (leave him). Which is not true. Curly tries to explain himself but Jimmy shuts him down and he just takes it.

The fact that he just allows this to happen makes it seem like he's used to this... That this kind of behavior is a recurring thing with Jimmy. And the fact that nobody else tries to defend him or stands up to Jimmy just normalizes it for him. When Anya tells Curly what Jimmy did it catches him off guard. Bc he genuinely didn't think that his friend was capable of that. It wasn't something that was obvious to him. There were absolutely many red flags in the past but they were subtle enough for him to not see them bc he cares for Jimmy, he trusts him. Jimmy's the only one he feels he can open up to, who he can let his guard down with. Jimmy's his home. That's how close they are.

Because of this deep love for his friend and the subtlety of Jimmy's cruelty, he doesn't see the constant verbal and emotional abuse as what it is: abuse. Which is why he finds Jimmy's abuse towards Anya so shocking and jarring.

He isn't a man covering for his rapist friend bc of the 'bro code'. It does look like that from a certain angle and it's understandable why people see it that way but that's not what his character is really about as much as it makes sense otherwise.

He's essentially a battered housewife who's still in love with her husband but is realizing for the first time that the man she loves is a monster. That the man she loves and devoted her life to has been hurting her this whole time and she didn't even realize it. That the man she loves and spent so much of her life caring for has gone and hurt someone else. That he's most likely hurt others before and she's been utterly unaware of it the entire time she defended him and made excuses for him when he wasn't the best or the fairest or the most responsible or when he screwed up yet again solely bc of how much she loved and cared for him.

And Curly barely had any time to process ANY of that before Jimmy decided to try and kill them all to avoid the consequences of his actions. It was ultimately a selfish act even if he thought he wasn't just doing it for himself. Jimmy is selfish and needs to be in control or he loses it. He cares for Curly. He loves him. Curly's done so much for him. Curly's the only one who understands him, who doesn't hate him. Curly's his home. He resents how 'successful' he is but that's only bc he thinks so highly of him. He constantly puts himself down and put Curly on a pedestal and worships him while simultaneously mistreating him.

He treats his best friend like shit, he's awful to him. But he's not aware that this is the case or maybe he's in denial about it. He can't or just refuses to see how he's doing all of what he does for himself in the end. He justifies his attempt to kill them all (to himself and to Curly) by claiming he's doing this for them both. That if they were to get back to earth it would all be Curly's fault, that it'll ruin his life and career... despite the fact he had basically nothing to do with Anya's abuse. Jimmy's shifting the blame on him while acting like he cares for him. Well, he does genuinely care for him but clearly not nearly enough to not mistreat him or use him as a scapegoat for his own guilt.

Jimmy is the rapist, Jimmy is the one who does all of these horrible things. And yet it's highly likely that Curly would just blame all of it on himself bc that's exactly what Jimmy did to him. He's in so deep he can't see the facts of the situation.

It takes abuse victims so long to come to terms with their abuse. It takes time and reflection to see things with an unbiased and healthy perspective. Abuse (especially years of it) isn't just something you can just escape. It consumes you and can twist your reality. Curly had about a week or less to process all of it and then take action in a way that protected his crew and abided by Pony Express' guidelines. Dealing with something this serious in a setting that makes resolving it extremely difficult in a practical sense is already hard.

There were no locks on any of the doors except for medical and the cockpit. They couldn't just kill him. There was nowhere they could detain Jimmy that wouldn't involve corporate potentially penalizing the entire group. They could have used the cryopods but then there'd only be three available for any actual emergency and there were already five crew members and four pods in total. Also, I doubt corporate would be 'okay' with them using the cryopods for anything other than their intended purpose. Hell, even if they were able to make it back to earth without any incidents there's a good chance that corporate would consider the situation 'poor team synergy' and collectively punish the entire crew for Jimmy's actions.

So on top of having to deal with an already difficult situation, Curly has to grapple with the realization that Jimmy a: abused Anya, b: has been abusing him as well (for a very long time too), and c: has probably abused others before Anya and he had no idea about it. He needed to act but he didn't and it doomed all of them.

But it's so unrealistic (maybe even cruel) to put that much pressure on someone, force them through an utterly earth-shattering realization, and then expect them to do the correct/right/responsible thing in that moment. It's a little ironic how people vilify him for that when other characters do the same thing that nobody blames for it.

Anya is the ship's nurse. Curly is the ship's captain. They both have duties and responsibilities on board the Tulpar. She has to keep the crew healthy and safe and is the only one with enough medical knowledge to do so. He has to make sure that everything goes well and goes according to procedure. He's responsible for the crew, the cargo, and even the ship itself. Both positions are integral and require a lot of responsibility to do properly

They're both put through distressing and traumatic situations where due to them being human people with emotions and fears that make them essentially avoid their responsibility/doing what's required of them.

Curly has a freeze response and doesn't act when he should have when it was crucial to have done so. Anya has a fawn response and essentially puts her patient in danger and harm's way. She knew full well what Jimmy was capable of. She experienced it herself and she witnessed it happening to Curly as well. And yet she allows Jimmy to be alone with Curly while being fully aware of how dangerous he is. Which she shouldn't have, that wasn't the 'right' thing to do. Keeping him safe was her responsibility.

But Anya's human. She's going through a lot at the moment. She's terrified of Jimmy and she's trying to appease him so he doesn't hurt her again. It's a natural very understandable thing to do even if it's not the 'right' or 'responsible' thing. They failed each other when they needed each other most and I think that's the most tragic part of it. If anything, all of them failed each other in some way, shape, or form.

So it's incredibly frustrating to see people give Anya so much sympathy and grace for doing something so human yet still 'wrong' but then turn around and give Curly none of that for doing essentially the same thing she does.

I don't know for sure if it's actually because Curly is a man or if it's only part of it or maybe some people just lack that sense of awareness but it's depressing and frustrating as fuck as a male victim of sexual violence and abuse to see this kind of behavior and this much victim blaming towards a character who is undeniably a victim of abuse like I am.

[simonbrain]

the mask is something simon just can't part with. maybe the piece of clothing shouldn't bring him such a strong sense of security, and maybe it shouldn't feel so right when people view the skull as his actual face rather than the hardened flesh that hides behind the mask, but he's too attached. he doesn't think he'll ever let go of it.

and then you come along with your sweet face and your gentle words, and it's everything simon has ever wanted—everything he's longed for when he's alone in the silence of his room. the hole in his chest seems to cling back together again, as if the dead ends are regenerating with each smile and each shy laugh you send his way. it's like his body is trying to accept those soft emotions he's been suppressing for so long.

although he finds that even if he can't fix himself, if he can't fully heal, your love fits snugly in the cavity of his chest much better anyway.

honestly, he didn't think he would ever gain the courage to get into a relationship, not after everything he had been through, not after how awkward and stiff he was when trying to ask you out, but here you were—his own little heaven on earth.

you don't even complain about the heated makeout sessions through the layer that separates your need to fully consume each other, nor do you pressure him to take it off. you always say kissing like that is hotter, anyway.

it's humbling how quickly you had slipped past the walls he built around himself, how the alarms that used to ring in his head transformed into sweet little bells that lulled him into a pure feeling of bliss that he hasn't felt in years. his selfishness knows no bounds; you had fully given yourself over to him, and he hadn't wasted a single ounce of your energy. he wants to return the love you seem to endlessly supply him with. he wants to share everything about himself with you.

which is why you're both seated on the couch, one of your hands grasped in his for comfort as he quietly announces that he wants to show you something. you don't even have to ask what it is.

"take your time, si," you murmur, leaning over to press a kiss to his cheek. his free hand digs tightly into the bottom of his balaclava, holding it in an iron grip even though he knows you'd never pull it off, and he swears his heart is pounding in his ears. what if he's not what you're expecting? what if you recoil from him in disgust? the scars he's hiding aren't exactly flattering, he knows, and his teeth might not be the straightest bunch, but—

you raise your hands up and gently cup his cheeks, leaning forward again to nuzzle against his face. you giggle softly when he tilts his head so your lips connect through the thin barrier, and your heart flutters when he relaxes in your hold.

"i have an idea," you whisper when you part from him, a wet spot formed on the front of his mask now. he hums softly in response and tries his best not to tense up when your hands slide down to his neck, your fingers smoothing underneath the fabric, resting there. "and you can't laugh."

simon chuckles quietly at that, his anxiety dissipating almost immediately. "promise."

"how about i see half of your face at a time?" he makes a noise at your question, about to interrupt when you lean in closer and begin peppering kisses over his jawline. "i can see the bottom half when we're kissing," you murmur through your pecks, reaching the corner of his mouth, "and later on, when i'm sitting on your face, you can take it off and i can see the rest." your tongue slips out to lick over his lips, a tease of what's about to come.

simon doesn't respond, not verbally, but you can tell he's already itching to get the damn thing off his head.

[saetoshis]

Listen. Yes Hoshina is a short king. But consider. . . If he's short he's probably feeling like he's got smth to prove. Excited to bend his partner over and deill them like they insulted him. Plus then he might hit you with the 'princess' or smth of the like. Putting youbin a verbal place of power (as the taller person) while he's still doming thr fuck out of you. "How'd you let this happen, princess? Letting someone like me see this weak side of you? Were you just careless? Overly trusting? Or perhaps you underestimated me. I suppose I'll have to punish you for that." Type beat.

Anway love our beloved Hoshi thanks as always for your tasty art!

HELPME UR SO RIGHT ... NOW IM THINKING LIKE ... WHAT IF U TEASED HIM FOR BEING A LIL SHORT N THEN .. YK ...

taller!fem reader [5'7"+ 172cm+], oral m. receiving, size kink [sorta?], teasing, pet name [ princess], fingering, squirting, MDNI.

you, who got all-too-cocky because your eyes are just a bit higher in line with his, made a mistake.

vice captain hoshina is nothing if not an enigma. his silly demeanor and playful attitude about everything makes him seem so non-threatening, that you might've gotten too comfortable with teasing him and acting high and mighty. whenever he tells you what to do, maybe you'll make a little gesture with your hand above his head, reminding him who has more "power." these jokes were your mistake.

maybe he'll want to punish you - watch you kneel in front of him, his hand on your pretty head as he guides you towards the bulge in his pants. maybe he'll hum out a little, "since you wanna poke fun at height, how 'bout you try being the short one for once?"

maybe hoshina will lean back and watch you unzip his pants, taking no time to push your mouth onto his eager cock. he might even rut his hips a little, muttering out between breathy 'fuck's, "not so big now, huh? how does it feel, hm? didn't think i'd be big down there, did you?"

hoshina watches so closely as you bob your head and pump your hand, thighs keening together where you're sat all prettily on the floor. a little smirk might even tug at his lips as he realizes just how turned on you're getting from this. "what, getting all hot and bothered by this? didn't think someone shorter than you could get you all worked up? you know better, don't you?"

his words send a jolt straight through your frame and you can't help but shudder, and all of a sudden the vice captain seems so much more intimidating, even more enticing than you ever thought. it's like he can sense you losing yourself in the moment, and he's got you right where he wants you.

hoshina leans down, flashing you a smug sneer as he lifts your face to look up at him - all the while admiring the pretty sheen of your lips and your glassy eyes. "is that what i think it is? is the princess who's always mocking my height suddenly unable to resist me? the irony... how should i deal with you, hm?"

he maneuvers you to bend over against the counter, chest pressed against the cool granite as he lets his thumb drag along your clothed pussy. one hand presses your back, the other languidly slipping off your shorts and panties as he hums, "oh, what's that? a wet spot, hm? not so cocky now, aren't you?"

it takes a lot of strength to even muster thoughts, your head spinning from how lewd he's acting - it's bafflingly hot. you pant against the counter as you look back, watching his eyes flit over your hips while his finger does the same against your clit. hoshina lets out a little laugh when he watches you shudder along with a strained whine.

"feels good, doesn't it? does being put in your place turn you on? yeah?" hoshina sneers and lets out a little chuckle, swiftly slipping his fingers between your walls and curling forwards. he can't help but wear a smirk on his face as he enjoys your willing submission. "let me remind you that i'm the vice captain of the third division. the strongest second to mina. forgot that, did you?"

his sheer strength shows in each intense flick and curl of his fingers against the spot that makes your spine shudder, and it's humbling. it's when he starts simultaneously toying with your clit that you feel like you're on fire, a buzz building up between your thighs just begging for release.

"that's it... yeah, let it out. show me just how much you like it. cum all over my hand, bet you'll never act cocky again," hoshina leers under his breath, ministrations going into overdrive as you shiver and whimper shamelessly. with a voice-cracking whine, his name falls from your lips over and over as flicks of liquid smother his hand from his unrelenting movements.

"ahh, of course you squirt on top of everything..." hoshina leans over the counter to admire the dizzied expression on your face with a little grin of his own. his fingers nudge your chin as he murmurs, "felt good? yeah? you gonna be good now? don't wanna hear you trying to humble me ever again after you left such a mess all over me."

he presses a little kiss on your cheek, smirking against your skin before he shifts to your ear. with a low whisper, he mutters, "unless you wanna have me fuck you in that suit... 92% isn't a joke, you know?"

2024 SAETOSHIS. do not copy/repost.

[letters-to-rosie]

random Ekko thoughts

so I'm trying to get a little fic writing in, and I was thinking of some timebomb takes I've seen recently. I realized that a lot of opinions people have on their relationship and how it's depicted center around Jinx, and I was wondering what care people give towards writing Ekko, so here are some things I like to include when writing him:

perfectionist. Ekko, at least in League canon, goes back and forth over and over to craft a perfect moment. I think he'd be observant, detail-oriented, probably a little neurotic, definitely the type to replay an awkward interaction over and over in his head in the shower or before falling asleep

emotionally guarded. first, I gotta say I don't think Ekko would want to be this way. but he's been through so much he finds it useful to have walls up. it's not like all the toughness is a defense mechanism—he fights for what he believes in and is clearly very brave (who else makes hoverboards ffs). he does miss, though, the times and people that allowed him to be more vulnerable, and he treasures it when he has it. his childhood ended way too soon

chronic overthinker. this goes back to the perfectionism, but I think he'd constantly be questioning everything. he's good on his feet, but he likes to have a plan, and he'd tends to think about those for a long time

charismatic as hell. this one I think is proven by the show, lol. Ekko seems very personable, likes to haggle (at least as a kid), and is liked enough to lead a resistance movement. I think he'd make good speeches and be good at convincing people. this would, of course, cause drama with Jinx, because he'd be like "all these people believe in me and my former best friend doesn't," ow

drama. I like to give him a pretty dramatic inner monologue, lol. I also like to think he's self-aware enough to realize he's being dramatic in the moment and to then continue the drama anyway

enjoyer of thrills. hoverboard. need I say more?

childish and playful side. didn't get to have a full childhood and cherishes getting to let that side out. cue fluff

fidgeter. it preceded the tinkering

player of mind games. this is mostly based on how he treats Caitlyn and Vi after kidnapping them, putting them through what essentially amounts to tests (for, imo, understandable reasons). he also goads Jinx into a game he knows he'll be able to win. I think he'd apply this thinking to other scenarios, be they big or small

too-big sense of responsibility. would feed into the drama for sure. he feels the weight of his community on his shoulders, and because he wants things to go well, and because they're counting on him, he takes on a lot that he maybe should not

self-righteous. he strikes me as filled with righteous anger. he's right, most of the time. on the occasion he isn't, this causes problems

proud. wouldn't be a real issue in most situations, but it's there

irreverent. he flips off cops as a kid. we love him for this

smart. this is obvious, but sometimes can be forgotten in the fandom. I'd see Ekko as book-smart and having street-smarts (or at least a lot more than Jayce, but that's a low bar). I think his verbal skills would also be a bit more polished than some of the other science-inclined characters (cough cough Jinx). I think it's also notable that among the others (Jayce, Viktor, Heimerdinger, Jinx), Ekko is the main science character who has no access to proper schooling at any point. sure, he has his job with Benzo, but it's unclear how much that would have taught him. Silco probably got at least books for Jinx, and the others had real teachers. there's an element of resourcefulness in Ekko's smarts which is laudable, imo

very dorky. we love a man with range. I feel like he would be able to operate on multiple levels, one in which he's this cool charismatic leader and another when you get to know him better, who makes science puns and has a lot of insecurities, which naturally leave him replaying awkward conversations in the shower. layers!

idealistic. you have to give people what they need to live

heart of gold. one thing that always strikes me is that Ekko is really the only member of the main cast concerned enough with the plight of the average person in Zaun to make it his whole business. he's tending to the crisis in a way that is simultaneously very grounded and (again) idealistic, where substance use recovery is very much needed in the setting but he's also (perhaps in contrast to Vander) throwing himself into battles that are unsustainable because he believes in his cause, even if the persecution is so bad he has to hide over it

disaster bi (this one is for me)

Ekko's a really layered and interesting character. I wanted to bring up some things I think about when writing him because of posts I've seen recently about him being reduced to "Jinx's boyfriend" (due to anti-black racism, of course) and posts just kinda about timebomb in general? I think because it's been canon that Ekko has a crush of Jinx for so long, it's easy to take that for granted and not give much thought to his side of the ship. we also spend a lot more time in Jinx's head than his in the show, even though the brief moment we do spend in his head introduces a whole new art style and the best song on the soundtrack (fight me)

obviously, I'm a shameless Ekko and Firelights stan. he's my favorite character in Arcane and one of my favorites in anything ever, so it was fun to flesh out my headcanons, things I think are extrapolatable from canon, and just some of the traits that go into writing him. if people have others (or just traits and things they think are interesting) I'd love to hear them! I love my brilliant and contradictory boy!

[ccalibrre]

daisuke and anya aren't shown interacting much. I think that's for a reason.

with daisuke being practically the embodiment of hope and innocence and naivety on the ship, it makes sense for anya not to interact with daisuke - or atleast be shown interacting with daisuke, especially from the perspective of jimmy. the one time that i can remember anya speaking of daisuke, is when speaking to curly about daisuke's psych eval and how daisuke says that he's enjoying his time on the ship, with anya then going "should i be worried?". anya, especially after the ship crashes, is always a foot out - always standing on the edge, ready to jump. she keeps the other pain meds in that locker hidden for as long as she can so she can have a way out - a way to control her own fate. she's given up on hoping. at first glance, you may assume the most hopeless character is swansea, with him ending his sobriety and falling back into his addiction, verbally stating that there is no hope for the crew any more - but swansea holds onto daisuke despite it all. he hopes. he dreams. maybe not for himself, but for daisuke and anya. swansea has also been a dreamer, even when he was in the midst of his addiction - he WANTED. but anya is never really hoping. she's just kind of there. and who can blame her? she's stuck in close quarters with her abuser, in a ship that's falling apart, 5 months pregnant with a child she never wanted. who can blame her for not hoping for better. she used to. she did, she had hoped when she went to curly about what jimmy did, but that hope was crushed when curly did nothing. he failed her. so she doesn't hope. she can't stand to - not any more. but for a long time she can't stand to give in either. not until she's pushed into it and locks herself into a room with curly - in the very room curly had dictated as having a lock for 'safety' concerns. and while she does this, daisuke - hope - is trying to get in and help her. banging at the door, desperately trying to get in to anya, but then jimmy takes daisuke away, and hope leaves, and anya kills herself as her hope is gone, once again taken away by jimmy. there's also the fact that daisuke is practically the 'child' of the group. the innocent and naive. and children are commonly seen as the 'hope'. the 'change'. the 'proof of something better to come'. and then you think of anya's pregnancy and how that happened. and how when she looked at daisuke and saw how hopeful and bright and young he was, all she was reminded of was the child inside of her, and then reminded of jimmy. of course she wouldn't wanna be around daisuke as much. it was too close. he was too close.

[ultraimaginez]

Coping Skills

Sometimes the only cure for big feelings is a big dic-

Ship: Solomon (om!) x GN! Reader

CW⚠️: 18+ MDNI! hair pulling, praise, m!receiving oral, Solomon (he deserves to have his own warning)

Word Count: 1.4k

"Bad day, huh?"

The book that was in Solomon's hands moments ago is now somewhere across the room - thrown without so much as a second thought to where it might land amongst the chaos of his study. He looks up at you, bemused. "You know, there are a lot of cursed objects in here. If you're not more careful, you might hit something dangerous."

The only dangerous thing that you're concerned about in this moment is your temper. To your credit, you have been working on controlling it. You've actually made quite a lot of progress since you found yourself in the Devildom for the first time years ago; but there are still days you cannot fight the acidic lump of emotions that sits heavy in the back of your throat. Today, you feel like a time bomb ready to explode.

Luckily, Solomon is pretty good at grounding you in his own special way.

Now that his hands are free, you are able to straddle him. You tuck your knees on either side of his hips in the large armchair where he spends most of his evenings studying. Your eyes lock onto his stormy gray ones. After a few years of knowing one another, and now several months of living together in Cocytus Hall, the two of you have gotten good at communicating non-verbally. But that's never stopped Solomon from running his damn mouth.

"Want to talk about it?" He asks, signature smirk pulling at the corners of his lips as his hands immediately find your ass and squeeze. He knows that you will share when you're ready, but he also knows that talking is the last thing you want when you feel like this.

Wordlessly, you claim his mouth in a searing kiss that's fueled with an anxious, desperate energy you want out of your body as soon as possible. Your hands are in his silvery hair, trying to pull him closer. The kisses are too much teeth, too much nipping, but you can't stop the urge to try and crawl under his skin to escape your own. No matter how close you get, it doesn't feel like enough. Solomon's little close lipped smile is only making you more frustrated.

Long fingers tangle at the base of your scalp sharply tug at your hair. You let out a noise that you might find embarrassing under any other circumstance, but the dull pain grounds you back in the moment. There is a sense of relief in his firmness. The two of you pant hard trying to catch your breath. Your lips are so close, you know he can feel every heave you make for air. You wait a beat before moving to grab at Solomon again, but his hand tugs at your hair a second time and keeps you still.

Solomon's pale skin flushes a pretty shade of pink and his Adam apple bob against his skin in a way that makes you want to put your feverish lips along his neck. His tongue darts out to taste his lips without ever looking away from you once. He's clearly thinking - studying you closely as he gently moves your head side to side. His free hand comes up to wipe away the frustrated tears that have started to form at the corner of your eyes. He gently tuts and shakes his head. "My poor apprentice. I should be taking better care of you, hm?"

The strange thing about Solomon is that although he tries to sound sarcastic - voice overly saccharine in its mocking lilt- you can tell that he means it. He does feel responsible for taking care of you. It's his job. And say what you will about Solomon, but be takes his responsibility to you seriously.

Effortlessly, Solomon lifts you off his body and eases you to the floor between his knees. You speak for the first time all evening, unable to stop the urge to be bratty. "For an old man, you're pretty strong." He laughs and shifts so that he can spread his legs wider, accommodating your new position. "Always so mouthy, MC" He cups your jaw and runs a thumb along your bottom lip, smiling when you kiss his finger gently. "I can think of a better use for these pretty lips."

A thrill runs down your spine as Solomon reaches down to unbuckle his belt. The two of you maintain heated eye contact as he pulls down his dark jeans and sets his aching cock free. Your gaze is pulled lower, now mesmerized by the way his hard length is leaking against his lower abs, flushed an even darker shade than his cheeks and looking beautiful in the low light of the study. You can feel Solomon's eyes on you like a hawk as you move forward to wrap one fist around his base. He throws his head back and lets out a pleased hiss. "Mmm that's good. Show me how talented you are, sweet." His fingers find their way back into your hair, this time gentle when they twine between the strands.

Solomon has given you exactly what you need: an objective. The emotions of the day fade to a dull hum at the back of your mind as a new focus takes their place. To take apart "the witty sorcerer" with your mouth and hands until he cannot think straight.

Looking up at Solomon with big innocent eyes you place a sweet kiss to the head of his cock and bat your lashes. "Like this?" His fingers tighten at your scalp and you let out a pleased gasp at the tug. "Tsk, Tsk. Don't be a tease, MC." He chides before loosening his grip a bit so that you can move again. You smile up at him before wrapping your mouth around him properly. You tongue at his slit before teasing the sensitive spot on the underside of his dick you've learned makes him see stars as you gently bob your head. His eyes screw up immediately as he let's out a groan that goes straight to your ego.

Solomon has been with plenty of partners over the centuries. (With the exception of Asmo, he may have the highest body count of the millennium.) But he can't remember a single one of their names or faces anymore. Not when you're the only person who has ever made him feel this good. He briefly wonders if you can feel it to - the way your magic touches his when you have him this vulnerable and raw. It's never intentional but it happens every time you have your mouth on him and it feels like an electrical storm in his bones.

"So beautiful. So perfect. Can't believe I waited three hundred years for you. It's worth it. Worth the wait. Worth everything for that sweet fucking mouth." He's babbling incoherently as you take more and more of his length - reveling in the punched out little noises he makes every time you swallow around him.

It doesn't take long before Solomon is beginning to unravel. "MC..." your name comes out of his mouth breathless, so he tries again - this time fist tightening in your hair. "MC, I'm so close. Where do you want me?" He asks, giving you an opportunity to pull away and let him cum across your face or chest. Instead you hum contentedly around him, fingers digging into his thighs as you continue to pursue your objective with single minded focus - taking as much of him as you can.

"Fuck. I really can't tell if you're a demon or an angel or a human. You're so perfect and so fucking dirty. God you're incredible." The last word comes out like it's been forced out of his lungs as he finds his release. He chases the high, trying unsuccessfully to keep his hips still as you continue to swallow around him. Your hands on his thighs manage to keep him mostly still as you do your best to take everything he gives you.

When you're finished you look up at Solomon through half lidded eyes, slowly blinking contentedly. The earlier anger and frustration having been channeled into a much more pleasurable activity, you feel significantly calmer. You expect to find the sorcerer equally blissed out but his gray irises have become small rings around blown out pupils.

Before you can react, Solomon is reversing your position - placing you on the chair and falling to his knees. The world's most irreverent devotional. He places his hands on your knees to push your legs apart and takes his place before you. "MC, I hope you're not tired already. This night is far from over."

[cupidseok]

Hello! Can I request about how riize acts differently when with you? I'm not too sure how to phrase it but something like a part of them only you can see? Sorry, I hope this makes sense to you. Thank you :)

the different sides of riize that they only show when with you

WARNINGS slight mentions of insecurity

AUTHOR'S NOTE hope this is what you meant anon 😭 thank you for requesting !

☀️ — SHOTARO

his serious side. sunshine taro is always smiling and laughing at just about anything ! whether he's feeling awkward or uncomfortable, he'll just giggle and hope the moment passes by quickly. he doesn't like it when the mood gets heavy and no one is smiling. however, when you attempt to bring up a serious issue and shotaro just laughs it off, it makes you upset :( he immediately notices how your eyes start to tear up and he embraces you in his arms. hushed apologies continuously fall from his lips as he rubbed your back, softly reassuring you that he’ll listen to whatever you have to say. that night, the both of you talk about the things that has been bothering you both. shotaro then understands the need to be serious in relationships in order for it progress further and he really hopes to never hurt you again.

🪨 — EUNSEOK

his cute side. our seemingly emotionless and unbothered stone ! eunseok almost always has a blank expression plastered on his face, it’s just in his nature to do so. although he’s someone who’s independent and stable, he still needs love ( even if he doesn’t say so verbally because he’s embarrassed to admit it ). so when you don’t give him enough affection and attention, he gets sulky. “what do you want,” you questioned eunseok, your eyes still glued onto your phone screen intently. he’s tugging on the sleeve of your shirt, “look at me please,” he nearly whines. when you finally divert your eyes away from your phone screen, you’re met with large boba eyes begging for your love and affection <3 he would rather die than let the other members of riize find out that the cool and collected song eunseok has to act cute to get his girlfriend’s attention.

👿 — SUNGCHAN

his jealous side. sungchan is someone who is confident in himself, he is clear of his own strengths and weaknesses and he tries his very best to make up for his weaknesses. he’s aware he looks good and he’s also proud of his body ! however, when he sees you laughing so happily while catching up with your childhood sweetheart, he suddenly doesn’t feel very confident anymore. he feels jealous; he thinks that if you both had met eariler, he’d be your childhood sweetheart instead. when sungchan sees the man lean one more centimeter closer to you, he can’t contain his overflowing jealously anymore and speed walks towards the both of you. “hi babe,” his arms wrap around your waist tightly, “i was waiting for you. who’s this ? aren’t you going to introduce him to your boyfriend ?”

🔐 — WONBIN

his protective side. wonbin who loves you so much, wonbin who cannot stand being away from you for more than 3 working hours, wonbin who is so protective of you ! he just cares for you so much, he can’t stand the thought of you possibly getting hurt, so he needs to be by your side 24/7 to ensure you’re safe and sound ( which you always are when with wonbin ). he gets slightly anxious when you aren’t around him, because what if a zombie apocalypse occurs suddenly and he isn’t there to be your knight in shining armour !! “wonbin i think in a zombie apocalypse i’d be more likely to protect you. also, i’m just going to a party with my friends. please let go of me,” you try your best to pry wonbin’s hands off you but all of your attempts were futile. “but what if the zombies get to you before i do ?”

💝 — SEUNGHAN

his insecure side. hong seunghan is and always will be your #1 hype boy ! he’s your admirer, your fan, your enthusiast, your supporter and much much more. this boy never shut ups about you and sohee thinks that he knows you better than yourself at this point ( sohee gets the brunt of seunghan’s talks about you unfortunately or fortunately ). seunghan could write an entire trilogy ( each with more than 10000 pages ) about how much he loves you if he wanted to. but !! when you reciprocate his energy and compliment him back, he gets so shy and his face turns an adorable shade of red. “you look so handsome here !” you look up from scrolling though seunghan’s selfie album and he just shyly shakes his head. “no, you always look so much better, my love,” seunghan buries his face in the crook of your neck to hide his flustered state. “what are you talking about ? my boyfriend always looks so handsome, he’s the prettiest boy i know.”

🗝️ — SOHEE

his authentic side. sohee is not someone who reveals his true personality easily to others. one may think that they know sohee well until they delve deeper and realise that they actually don’t know much of him. he’s just good at concealing the parts of himself that he deems vulnerable and sensitive. with you, however, sohee always feels at ease, as he doesn’t feel like he has to put up a facade. with you, sohee knows that you’ll love and cherish every part of him, even the parts that he himself dislikes, you’ll love all the same. he finds solace and warmth in your nurturing nature and seeks for your love and understanding of the true sohee !

💭 — ANTON

his attentive side. anton can sometimes be random and voices out his weird thoughts for you both to ponder over, you often wonder what goes on in his head but you usually just leave him to it. he’s also someone who is rather soft-spoken, so at times, it’s hard to figure out what he’s feeling or thinking. however, anton often greets you with pleasant surprises in the form of gifts, little things that you’ve mentioned in passing like how you’ve lost one side of your earrings or how you’ve run out of milk. you’re also often shocked when he tells you about your habits that you’ve never noticed yourself. “huh ? i do that frequently ? really ?” confusion evident in your voice. “yep, i’ve seen you do that more than a thousand times.”

© cupidseok — do not copy / repost / translate my works

[bia-wayne-west]

Pregnancy — Barry Allen x Reader

Characters: Barry Allen (The Flash), Reader (You).

Synopsis: You have been married to Barry for two years. One fine day, you start to feel a hunger worthy of a little speedster.

Warnings: Pregnancy, seasickness, pregnancy discovery

N / A: I did this imagine in 10 minutes. I watched a pregnancy movie with my cousin, and then we went to watch The Flash, she suggested the idea to me and I loved it. Hope you like it.

I'm a Latina girl who doesn't speak fluent English, so I want to apologize for any writing errors you find. Feel free to correct me.

MASTERLIST

The day had begun. The sun came through the window, causing you to curl up even more in the duvets.

You ran your hand over the bed, feeling the sheet to feel Allen's warm body. There was only an empty space, indicating that he had been awake for some time.

Your mind tried to sleep again, however, a sweet smell flooded his nostrils. You could have sworn it smelled like pancakes and condensed milk.

The sheets were set aside as his feet touched the ground. With delicate steps, you made your way to the kitchen, being guided by the wonderful smell. You had no intention of surprising Barry, as he could see everything happening in slow motion and could easily see you approaching.

 Allen held a frying pan, trying to flip a pancake. On the kitchen counter was a stack of pancakes and two coffee cups of Jitters.

With a smile on your face, you approached your husband, placing your hand on the speedster's shoulder. Barry's face lit up, showing a sweet smile.

“Good morning.”

“Good morning, my dear.”

“What are you doing?” You ask.

“You always make coffee, I decided to make it for you today.” Allen placed the last finished pancake on the plate, enjoying the view of what he had just prepared. “Are you hungry?”

“I think I could devour a whole cow.” Your stomach churned, complaining of hunger.

 You usually didn't eat much, unlike your husband. Barry had to consume at least fifteen thousand calories daily, so he could stay upright and healthy. He literally ate all day and kept him body skinny.

Unlike you, who hardly felt hungry. You were the perfect couple. When you couldn't finish your snack, Allen was able to eat everything and still had plenty of room in his stomach. A few weeks ago, you began to feel extraordinarily hungry.

 You ate almost the same amount of food as Barry. It seemed like you were a speedster, too. Her sense of smell could sense food being prepared in other rooms, as well as feeling terrible nausea and dizziness. You thought it was vitamin’s problem, and you bought some to make yourself feel better.

 Within seconds, the breakfast table was fully set. Without much ceremony, you joined your husband to enjoy their morning meal.

“I could have sworn you have hypermetabolism too.” He joked when he saw you steal a pancake from him after eating yours.

“I don't know what happened. It feels like I'm eating for an army.” You verbalized, picking up the dishes to wash them. As soon as your hand placed the last glass in the sink, a horrible sensation gripped your entire body. You ran to the bathroom, feeling a terrible urge to vomit. Your body leaned over the toilet as the breakfast was poured out.

In less than a second, Barry appeared at your side, his face full of concern. One hand held your hair, while the other smoothed your back.

 “Are you okay?”

“I am. I think I ate more than my stomach can handle.”

“Let Caitlin examine you.”

“I told you I'm fine, dear.” You got up with Barry's help. Along the way, you felt your vision darken and your body vibrate, as if you were a speedster. “I think going to see Caitlin is a good idea.”

 (…)

“I have two new features.” Caitlin said, as soon as she finished examining your blood. “A good one and a bad one, depending on one's point of view.”

“What's the good news?” Barry asked. Cisco, Joe, Barry, and you were waiting in the exam room. Caitlin held a sheet of paper with the results of your exams.

“You're pregnant.”

 Your world spun. Your chest collapsed with happiness. A year ago, you and Barry were planning to have a child, but you never had any luck.

Allen took your hand. The speedster's face was flooded with a smile. Everyone in the room was happy with the news of yet another person being added to Team Flash.

“And what's the bad news?” You asked.

“Very well.” She seemed to be looking for the right words. “I did an ultrasound, and it looks like the baby's heart has stopped.”

“You mean he's dead?”

Everyone in the room asked at once. Tears had already appeared in your eyes, you had barely gotten used to the idea of being a mother, and your little Allen was no longer with you.

“Theoretically, yes.”

“Explain it properly.” You demanded.

“When Barry was struck by lightning, his heart stopped several times. Doctors believed he had died because the machines couldn't record his heartbeat.” She explained. “But his heart had never stopped, what happened is that he was so fast that not even the machines could keep up.”

“So your theory is that the baby is like Barry?” Cisco chimed in. His face was in an expression it was always when he was thinking. “My God, that completely explains your extraordinary hunger and why you started vibrating like a speedster.”

“Our son is also fast.” Allen said, grinning from ear to ear. He deposited a beak on your lips, still holding your hand.

 Ten years later…

 You've finished setting the lunch table. The dish of the day was pasta with broccoli and cheese. Benjamin Allen's favorite meal.

After putting the last dish on the table, you called your child. Benjamin quickly descended using his powers.

The wind caused by your little one's speed left one of the glasses on the table unbalanced. Before Ben had a chance to catch him, another speedster came in front of him. Barry put the glass right where it was before, and went to meet him.

The brunette wrapped his arms around his body and pressed a sweet kiss to her neck. A laugh escaped his throat as he saw his son utter an exclamation of disgust.

“Please, your son is here watching you be completely disgusting. Ben said, sitting in the chair.

Benjamin has the same hair color as yours, but he had the same green eyes as his father. Everyone who saw him always said the same thing, that he was a faithful copy of Barry Allen.

 He and your husband were the guardians of Central City. The little one has not yet obtained all of his father's abilities, but he has the super speed and the ability to vibrate his body and molecules.

 In the middle of lunch, you smiled when you saw the size of your child's plate, which was three times larger than yours. That scene reminded him of something.

“Ben, would you like to hear the story of the day I found out I was pregnant?”

[giirlblood]

caregiver ! vi headcanons !!

requested by @themoondropcollective . spinning around because i LAUV vi , he's one of my own fictional cgs (>/////< " ) . butch cg for eensy butch !! i refer to vi with he / him pronouns .. you can pry tmasc butch vi from my cold dead hands . it brings me comfort as a fellow trans butch to see someone like me :3 .. if you'd prefer other pronouns let me know but i default to he for him . that being said my vi is not a binary man pronouns do not equal gender :L .

vi is the silliest caregiver ever !! more like an older sibling in the sense that he doesn't have lots of rules && can't help but giggle when you get into mischief . he calls you lots of silly nicknames like nugget , bug , && squirt !! he teases you by calling you tiny sometimes as a nickname too but it always comes with a chuckle && a hair tousle .

while its my truth that vi is transmasculine he loves being called "mama" by his littles . you also call him "bubba" but he always melts when someone calls him "mama" or just "ma" . he does Not like being called mommy though . he's also okay with more masculine names like "papa" or "dada" as well && responds better to daddy than mommy though it's not preferred .

always telling you stories !! some of them are made up but a lot of them are about his life . he often gets lost in his tales but you hang onto his every last word .

loves to teach you new things . these little lessons often come with a little story of his own !! he notices you giggling && bites back a laugh of his own . " mama's silly , huh squirt." teaches you how to throw a punch but also about little everyday things like tying your shoes .

SOOOO protective .. literally your guard dog , he will not hesitate to throw a punch or clap back verbally if someone poses a threat to you . king of glares too , he scares away aaallll the meanies . always holding your hand && proudly calling you his little one . he often has his hand on your shoulder as a way to reassure you he's there for back up .

always including your stuffies in everything , he's so playful with them !! if you're sad he'll have them talk to you in silly voices to cheer you up && he has little conversations with them to make you giggle . sometimes he can't help but crack up himself .

he lets you play with his hair && put little clips in it . you love his hair soo much , the color is so AWESOME !! when his hair is longer he lets you style it however you like .

on the topic of hair he loves washing yours . it's super soothing for him && makes him feel closer to you . it's something so intimate that he treasures , running his hands through your hair , doing his best to learn all he can about how to take care of it if you have more kinky hair so he can meet all of your needs .

he's super good at braiding from always doing powder's braids && it's something that calms him down . if you have longer hair he's always happy to braid it — he can do all of the fancy braids !! he tries to teach you but your fingers are a bit clumsy what with you being so little .

even though he himself doesn't always practice safe binding he makes sure that you do . if you whine about it trying to point out that he doesn't he sheepishly says something like , "well you shouldn't do everything daddy does ."

[p0ckykiss]

five ways to say "i love you" - jeonghan

summary - how jeonghan shows his love to you, through all five love languages

-> sick y/n, worried jeonghan, fluff, established relationship, soft jeonghan!!!!, whipped jeonghan

seasonal depression is a real thing. at least, according to you it is. personally, jeonghan had never experienced it. its entire premise just didn't really make sense, is all. watching the leaves change colors and fall was beautiful, and when winter rolled around the corner, so did the holidays and days off. if anything, wasn't that a reason to be happier?

a sneeze interrupts his train of thought, and jeonghan feels a pang in his chest at the sight.

it's officially been three days with you being flu-struck, and you both hoped it would've gotten better by now, but if anything it only seemed to have gotten worse. the time reads a quarter past two, and jeonghan can't help but sigh. 

you've been stuck on the couch since noon, curled up in your warmest blanket trying to watch the latest sitcom episode. your drowsiness is palpable, and every time you reach for a tissue to blow your nose, jeonghan flinches.

if seasonal depression corresponded with your well-being, then maybe jeonghan relates to it more than he thinks. and though jeonghan is chock-full of sympathy, his urgency to comfort you proves stronger.

and so jeonghan begins to rack his brain for different methods to make you feel better. and somehow his memories digress to the day you both took the love language test, even before you started dating. much to his embarrassment, jeonghan doesn't actually remember what your love language is, and he's way too prideful to ask. luckily, the nostalgia ends with the spark of a lightbulb, and jeonghan smiles. he knows exactly what to do. 

— 

the quest to rediscover your love language begins with the first type: words of affirmation.

slowly, jeonghan saunters over to you, trailing his fingertips over the leather of the couch, then over the fabric of the blanket, gently and gradually, until they find their way to your shoulder, and jeonghan leans down so you're promptly face to face. the quiet chatter from the TV fills up empty space, but it's not enough to force jeonghan to speak loudly. so he doesn't. instead, he inches ever so closer, until he can make out every beauty mark on your face, and he breathes, hardly above a whisper, "you're so beautiful."

in an attempt to play the compliment off, you merely roll your eyes. you blame your illness, though, when you can't contain the slightest inklings of a smile forming, nor the red flush that threatens to overtake your cheeks. you pair a gentle slap against jeonghan's arm with the statement, "i look like shit," and the accusation, "you're just saying that to make me feel better."

if it was even possible, jeonghan moves in closer, propping one hand on the couch arm for support so he could lift his other hand to rest perfectly under your chin. jeonghan swipes his thumb over your skin, hot to the touch, but he can't tell if it's from a blush or from the fever. "you might be right," jeonghan concedes, humming as he takes in every detail of your current state—rosy nose, puffy eyes, dry skin, messy hair—and yet jeonghan can't seem to find any flaws. inspection complete, jeonghan searches for the one thing he knows he can find. ever so faintly, glimmers dance in your eyes, and when jeonghan catches them with his own, like he's done before a million times, he repeats himself. "you might be right. i could just be saying that to make you feel better." jeonghan tucks one of many stray hairs behind your ear before reaching down to cup your hands together, "but that doesn't make it any less true."

and jeonghan can see it, can physically see it, how all of your insecurities instantly crumble, like a house of cards collapsing upon itself, melting away to make room for new walls, sturdier this time, built from affirmations and confidence and care.

a verbal response isn't required. all you do is smile, subtly, so that your lips barely curve up, and you close your eyes. but even this speaks volumes, because it's your cue of absorbing all the good things around you, no matter how small. it's also jeonghan's cue to add one final speck of positivity to your realm with a sweet kiss to your forehead, before he takes his leave to give you your much-needed space. 

—

mindless chatter continues to emit from the TV, and when jeonghan peers into the living room, he spots you tucked away in your same spot on the couch, only this time your head rested lower and your mouth hung open, blissfully asleep and temporarily free from the virus that ailed you.

jeonghan is quick to shimmy on his coat. braving the bite of winter air, it was time to do some shopping for part two, giving gifts, in his mission to determine your love language.

months of taking extra shifts, saving up, determined observations, and heavy research all culminated into this one moment. he was battling not one, but two, life-or-death decisions. the first was to pick which gaming console to buy, and the second was to pick which game to correctly pair with said console. his dedication to this plan, despite being executed weeks before the planned date, does not fail him, and fifteen minutes later jeonghan is walking back into your home as if nothing even happened.

luckily, you are still asleep, which gives jeonghan enough time to wrap up (literally) this phase of the journey and get a head start on the next: acts of services.

— 

about a million things fly through jeonghan's head when he watches you ease out of your slumber, the most prominent thought being how adorable you look, but the most important thought being how sick you still must feel, and how it's engraved in jeonghan's soul to fend off your demons.

unable to contain his excitement, jeonghan approaches you with his arms tucked behind his back, very conspicuously hiding something. you don't even get the chance to sit up before jepnghan kneels beside you, looking up with the largest pair of star-filled eyes. 

jeonghan brings both hands forward, so the two presents display themselves proudly between you. "i was going to wait until christmas," he shuffles the gifts into your arms, "but i can't stand seeing you like this." jeonghan balls his fists into his lap to prevent himself from tearing away at the wrappings himself. "i hope you like it."

piece by piece, bits of red and green foil fall to the floor. no amount of congestion or itchiness in your throat could suppress the yelp that burst from your voice. "jeonghan," you begin, but the growing lump of emotion in your chest was making it damn near impossible to finish your sentence. "you really didn't have to."

jeonghan beams. "yes i did. i know how much you miss your old switch."

"you mean the one i threw out the window because i couldn't pass that one stupid level of super mario?" 

it's clear that you are very unfond of the memory, but jeonghan simply finds it all the more endearing. "that's the one."

the grin on jeonghan's face has yet to falter, and suddenly the swells of appreciation that lap at your heart transform into guilt. you imagine all the sacrifices jeonghan must have made in order to afford this, all the late shifts he had to seek out, just to buy you a replacement for something you broke in the first place. you swallow a lump of equal parts of exasperation and admiration down your throat, ready to air out further protest because you really don't deserve this, and you sure as hell don't deserve jeonghan.

and jeonghan can imagine all of your internal turmoil, of course he can, which gives him all the more reason to assure you that you do, in fact, deserve the entire world. it's also happily up to jeonghan to deliver it to you. one warm hand placed on your cold ones and a couple of soothing circles rubbed atop of them later, and jeonghan has effectively drawn you out of your own bubble.

"whatever you're worrying about," jeonghan exhales, "don't." when jeonghan senses the tension releasing from your body, he drives his point across with a home run. "plus," he nods at the game he bought to accompany the console, mario kart 8, "we can play together this time, too."

there's no reason to argue, you conclude, especially not against jeonghan. a deep breath resets your mentality, and you try your best to return to your usual self, biting back a smile. "you know I won't go easy on you, right?"

"oh please," jeonghan ruffles your already messy hair, "in your condition, you'll be begging me to go easy on you."

frowning, you take a moment to envision this unlikely scenario. unwilling to even entertain the possibility of losing to jeonghan, you dodge the challenge altogether. "how about we play another time," you mutter.

and at that, jeonghan jumps to his feet, grabbing the switch and the game in one fell swoop. "i knew you were gonna say that," he giggles, "which is why I prepared something else."

after quickly shooting a prayer to whatever gods were out there, you tentatively say, "please don't tell me you got another ridiculously expensive gift. this is more than enough." you're more than enough, you want to add, but don't.

jeonghan all but skips to the kitchen. "i wouldn't exactly call this a gift." a painfully slow thirty seconds pass until he returns to the couch in the living room, to you, carefully balancing a plate of various desserts in one hand, and cradling what appeared to be a lighter in the other.

you squint, double checking if you were actually seeing what you thought you were seeing. "what exactly would you call it, then?"

figuring that calling it an act of service would be much too blatant, jeonghan settles on "lunch."

"lunch?" you eye the plate, definitively making out two chocolate bars, a sleeve of graham crackers, and a bundle of marshmallows.

once his rendition of a charcuterie board is secure on the coffee table, jeonghan maneuvers his way onto the couch and under the blanket, shoulder to shoulder with you one and only. "you haven't eaten all day. and i know you probably don't want to eat a proper meal," jeonghan gestures at their awaiting food, "but I also know you crave sweets when you're sick."

it should be second nature by now, really, with how many times jeonghan so casually demonstrates just how well he knows you, maybe even more than you knows yourself. but jeonghan leaves you in awe every time, regardless. 

s'mores are your designated comfort food. the entire process is just so enjoyable, from prepping the ingredients and assembling the structure, to trying to eat the whole thing in one bite lest the remnants ooze out the sides. and so you both do just that.

lacking anything close to a fireplace or a firepit, you roast marshmallows skewered with chopsticks above the dim flame from the lighter. as per the laws of physics (or something like that), the first marshmallow never goes well, and you both end up with a big black burnt chunk of goo. you effectively hurl yours in the trash, but jeonghan dares to take a nibble off his own. he learns that curiosity does, in fact, kill the cat, and jeonghan scrambles to wash out that terrible ashy aftertaste on his tongue. then he hears the faint sound of you snorting, and he concludes that it was worth it.

you tackle the issue of melting the chocolate next, but it's jeonghan who requests to handle this part because he doesn't want to risk you getting burnt. 

and so you watch as jeonghan carefully heats the chocolate piece by piece over the fire. and you note all of jeonghan's habits you've picked up on over the years. how jeonghan's tongue peaks out from the corner of his mouth when he's super concentrated, how he furrows his brows when he tries to see better, how he forgets to blink when there's one specific thing on his mind. and you feel yourself likewise melting like the chocolate, because even to this day, you still can't fathom how you were so lucky to have jeonghan to call yours.

"i hope you're hungry," jeonghan announces, grinning ear to ear. 

you reciprocate the expression. it's assembly time. 

you make a mess. it was inevitable, honestly. there was only so much precaution to be taken from your comfy position on the couch, legs and feet all tangled up in each other. and you wouldn't have it any other way.

laughter outshines any noise from the long-forgotten sitcom playing on the TV. each bounce of your shoulder from an accompanying chuckle is followed by the blanket sliding down, just a bit. jeonghan tries to be slick when he drapes his arm around you, a front to make sure he can pull the blanket back up every time it threatens to slip. but this is you. you, who notice everything that jeonghan does for you. you, who's grateful for all of it. you, who don't think you can love jeonghan any more than you already do.

—

an impromptu nap is essential for their post-s'more recovery. the last two love languages, physical touch and quality time, are much harder to gauge. considering jeonghan's affection is usually on full display 24/7 and the fact that he counts his entire lifespan with you as quality time, he can only hope you treasure your moments together as much as he does. and honestly, at this point, jeonghan is much too tired to care about his quest to uncover your love language. the only mission on his mind is to get you as close as possible, and so he seeks to accomplish just that.

pulling you into his arms, you both slump onto your sides, feet dangling off the edge of the couch, hands wrapped around shoulders and backs, and eyes locked unwavering onto the other's. jeonghan slips his bicep under your neck, fashioning a faux pillow, and rests your head against his chest, just above his beating heart.

you squirm in a weak attempt to create some distance between you. (you're not successful.) "i'm gonna get you sick."

jeonghan only snuggles closer. "i don't care," emphasizing his point with a chaste kiss upon your forehead, and then, oh so gently, on your nose, both cheeks, and finally, still ever so softly, on your lips. 

you've both long since outgrown the butterflies in your stomachs. what used to elicit sparks of electricity at every touch now resound in echoes of warmth. and lying here, in jeonghan's embrace, in jeonghan's comfort, in jeonghan's life, you feel so safe. you'd spend eternity with jeonghan if you could, but right now, when the passage of time has all but stopped as you continue to hold each other in your own beautiful world, what you have right now is all you want.

—

you both wake up as you were, still entangled in each other's body, each other's affection, each other's hearts.

you let yourself drown in the serenity that was jeonghan before you ask the question that's been tickling the back of your mind the whole day. "what was up with you today? you were oddly kind, even more so than you usually are."

an instant flush of red rises upon jeonghan's cheeks, and if you didn't know any better, you'd think jeonghan was the sick one, not you. "this is gonna sound stupid," jeonghan says.

and to that, your first instinct is to reach for jeonghan's hand and intertwine your fingers, still perfectly warm under the blanket. "nothing you say is ever stupid." it's true. on a scale of endearing to adorable, never once have you thought jeonghan resembled anything close to the word stupid.

jeonghan bites his lip, as he confesses, "i hated seeing how miserable you were, and i wanted to cheer you up, but i forgot what your love language is, so i thought i'd do one of each to see which one you like the most, but you were equally receptive to all of them, and i feel dumb for not knowing what means the most to you."

when you don't immediately respond, jeonghan sighs and chides himself. "i told you, it's stupid."

but you just laugh, sporting a grin so wide your eyes turn into mini crescent moons. "yoon jeonghan, you're ridiculous in the best way possible." you unlace your finger in favor of cupping your palm around jeonghan's cheek, still blazing from embarrassment. "did you know that?"

jeonghan flits his gaze downwards, uncharacteristically shy towards the one person he's bared his entire soul to. "could you still remind me what your love language is?" he sheepishly requests, adding on, "just for future reference."

you just smile, and you hope your words are enough to convey the intensity of the way your whole body swells with an undeniable warmth every time jeonghan does anything. "as long as it's with you," you use your thumb to tilt jeonghan's head back up, ensuring he can see just how sincere you are when you say, "i love it all just the same." and then you lean in, breaths already mingling, lips centimeters from meeting, hearts seconds from colliding, when you whisper, "i love you all just the same."

[24hlevi]

I know we've got Lottie x innocent reader.. But what about th othe yjs 🤔🤔🤔

ooooh 🤭 imma give a few thoughts for each of them cause i love this but can't come up with full hcs sorry. thank you for continuing the innocent reader vision anon 🫶 also this is more with their adult versions in mind!

shauna -

- shauna adores your innocence, she literally thinks it's the cutest thing ever when you two first get together, how you haven't done anything like smoking or drinking, how you wear whatever clothes you want without realizing the way people look at you in said outfits

- she will subconsciously baby you tho, she will of course stop if you say for her to but she loves babying you :( not in like a weird way but just in a nurturing way that shows she loves you dearly

- she has such a thing for marking you up for everyone else to see how your hers and hers only, a smile always forming on her face whenever you don't try to cover it up and you two go out being given weird looks by the amount of hickeys on your neck

- she tries to start out slow with you during your first time with her but she can't help but get rough at the sounds of you whining and moaning just for her :(

nat -

- she's the one who enjoys your innocence the most, the fact that you have barely done anything rebellious in your life leads nat to being the gf who will make you do reckless things and live life to the fullest, maybe getting arrested in the process (oops)

- nat also thinks it's kinda cool that you two are polar opposites when in public and you're wearing the cutest thing possible and she's just in her leather jacket and jeans, she'd rather die than use the word aesthetic for how pleasing it is, but that's what it is lol

- nat is also the biggest on the corruption side of things, to just break down those innocent walls that stop you from whimpering her name underneath her is like winning a prize to her and when you finally let go of feeling shy and innocent, she is going to make sure you know you're hers

- thinking of her teaching you how to ride her strap for the first time and she slowly coaxes you into moving your hips faster and make more pretty noises for her, smiling at your whines before flipping you over and just pounding into you

misty -

- misty definitely takes advantage of your innocence, most of the time without you even realizing it, which makes it better for her in the end when she makes you do things that you wouldn't do otherwise without her there, it gives her a sense of pride and that she's needed

- she also just thinks it's cute when you have little to no idea what's going on or when people try to flirt with you and you just think they're being nice, misty is one to get jealous, but just so she can take you back home and make sure you remember who you belong to

- misty is the second biggest on corruption imo, she loves how innocent you are, buying you pretty revealing clothing to wear around the house so she can have you whenever she wants and seeing your eyes widen when she grabs you by your hips pulling you towards her gets her going so bad she will take you right then and there

- roleplay is huge for misty, especially medical themes, and she loves opening your mind to those things and show you how to have fun and have a good time as well even when she's three gloved fingers inside of you and is degrading you beyond belief mixed with praises

tai -

- the only normal one (jk), tai is one that thinks it's cute and enjoys the way that your innocence is genuine and how it's just how you are, not like you're doing it on purpose or something

- tbh tai doesn't seem like she would get jealous because of it, will she glare daggers at whoever is attempting to flirt with you to the point they back off? yes. but she won't be verbal about it 😭 you go over to her wondering why the overly kind person just left and she's like "ah idk babe" acting like she wasn't killing them with her mind

- tai will make you be verbal with what you want, she won't do anything until you tell her what it exactly is that you want, loving to see the way you break down crumbling and soon start begging for her to do something, anything

- you cannot tell me this woman doesn't have a thing for being called ma'am, like you'd say it as a joke and she would immediately change up and tell you to say it again which leads to a newly found word to use when having sex

van -

- van thinks your innocence is a little silly at first (affectionately), how you don't realize the certain things you do would be seen as flirting or not noticing when others are flirting with you, they think its silly

- they definitely show you all kinds of movies you haven't seen before to expand your horizons of cinema and entertainment, especially the more spicy ones to open your mind to some things 🤭

- van grins so hard when you tell them you wanna try something that you saw in a movie or something else and immediately drops everything to do it, they'll take their time with you to make sure you actually want to do it before going down on you like never before

- van is into experimenting with anything, whatever you wanna do they will gladly do for you, you basically become their pillow princess/prince and they will make sure the neighbors can hear cause they just love the sounds you make when they're pounding into you with their strap

[lowkeyremi]

WHAT YOU NEED S. Geto x fem!reader

"And I'm gon' give you girl, what you fiend, I'm the drug in your veins, just fight through the pain, He's what you want, he's what you want, I'm what you need, what you need, what you need"

➥ In which Geto entertains you when the guy you want doesn't

content: reader is indecisive, geto kinda takes advantage of that??? slightly toxic (look at me stepping out of my fluff comfort zone) slightly suggestive, a little bit of angst

A scream crawls its way up your throat and you throw your phone across the room, no regard for the aftermath of that action. You've been casually flirting with this guy for months and every once in a while he gives you the cold shoulder, ignoring your calls and everything. You know he is because he'll read your messages and not respond.

He called you an "obsessive bitch" the last time this ordeal happened because you had managed to call him 237 times and leave him 400+ texts in the span of a week. He later apologized for calling you that and you forgave him because of your desperation to get with him.

This whole thing has happened four times, and you'll admit those weren't your brightest times. Your friends have told you to stop talking to him because this obsession isn't healthy and if you two did have a real falling out who knows what you'd do.

UnLuckily for you, your favorite distraction was driving around with Gojo and happened to be near your complex. Geto. He of all people has tried to convince you that you don't need this man, and he's proven time and time again that he's the better option (as fucked up as he is) but you won't give up on this guy until he gives you a verbal rejection.

Knock, knock, knock. You know who it is, so you don't bother to open the door. He has a key and depending on how long he's been standing there he might have heard your little tantrum.

After a minute you hear the lock click slowly, giving you a chance to run toward your bedroom and lock the door. You don't want to see him. He's so addictive and bad for you and you deserve a normal man, you suppose. The problem is you're far from normal so of course Geto is the only one who will truly understand you. He's what you need after all.

Those three soft knocks at your door make you tense up slightly as you hide under your covers with your eyes closed imagining what it would be like if you and that normal guy started to date.

"Open up princess. Seems like you're still chasing after that fucking idiot." His voice is like honey and you almost do go open the door for him and invite him into your heart like you always do.

"Go away, Geto. I don't want you here- I don't need you here." Your voice is so small and you hate it. You know for a fact he isn't convinced.

"Geto? What happened to Suguru or Sugu?" He asks softly, you can almost picture it. He's leaning against your door with a smirk on his face.

"I.... I don't. I don't-"

"You don't what? Need me? Who are you trying to fool? Open the door so I can make it all better." His voice lowers a few octaves on that last part and you jump from your bed to open the door. You're greeted by Suguru who's gazing at you lustfully, but you know behind that lust is worry and care.

"There she is, my beautiful little mess. Did you miss me?" He's been out of town for two weeks (you counted the days). Of course the first person he'd visit when coming back was you.

"No. I was doing fine without you." You lie through your teeth. He knows you're lying too. You've never been good at hiding from him.

"I missed you too. I was hoping you'd come to your senses though, and leave that poor man alone. He can't handle you, baby." Suguru holds his arms out for you and you run to them hugging him tightly.

He hears your soft sobs and he knows he's twisted for smiling but he loves it when you cry. "I want him Sugu, I want him so bad." You whine into his chest and he feels your salty tears stain his shirt.

"I know you do, baby, but he doesn't want you. I'm what you need." He reminds you and you cry into his shirt for a good couple of minutes.

When you do come to yourself again, your teary eyes meet his and he smiles at you warmly. You give him a weak smile in return and he has to admit that it made his heart swell a little bit.

"What do you want to do, sweetheart?" He's rubbing your back up and down slowly. The other hand is planted on your ass, giving it a little squeeze.

You keep eye contact with him as you fumble with his belt buckle, "Such a good girl." His look is almost predatory when he sees you drop to your knees.

(one day i'll come back and write smut for this :P)

----------

You're cuddled up against his bare chest. He's so warm and inviting, you hate it. Well, you only partially hate it. You hate the fact that you don't hate it enough.

"Feeling better?" He already knows the answer but he wants to hear you say it. Suguru always wants a verbal response from you.

"Mhm." That's all he's going to get out of you. You're mad that you sucked him off and fucked him. It hurts to know you'll never be in a normal relationship. You love him and you hate him all the same.

"Will you let me keep taking care of you? I want to put a label on what we have." He sounds so sincere and sweet, but you see right through him. He wants you to be his, so he doesn't have to share you with anyone. As endearing as that sounds it also sounds suffocating.

Suguru is already a very demanded presence in your life. There is fear planted in your brain and you wonder what will happen if you come to like that with time. More than you already do.

"You want to be my boyfriend?" Buying time was crucial, you still needed a minute or two to process this. It's not the first time he's asked you this question. Any other time you would have replied without effort but now you wonder what it would be like to have him in your life as a romantic partner.

"Precisely."

He's watching you like a hawk. The way you bite your lip in thought, the way you don't meet his gaze, the way you shift in his arms, he notices it all.

"Okay, be my boyfriend. Give me what that other guy couldn't." A pleased smile makes its way to his face as he hugs you close.

"Best decision you've ever made." He smirks and you look away. Instead of hate you feel butterflies.

He's yours. You're his. This might be the start of something new and beautiful. But who truly knows?

I wrote this for a little challenge hosted by @halosdiary where you write abt jjk men but base it off a song by the weeknd. I was going to do "shameless" but i read my rough draft and hated it so i switched up and decided to do "what you need"! Hope you guys enjoy this little project!!

[loveundrwrld]

yandere alphabet- yandere femboy

template i used can be found here

(cws: blackmail, violence mention, very unhealthy relationship dynamic, stalking)

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

he can be very smothering with his affection, very touchy and clingy. he likes to hug your arm or hold your hand, rest his head on you, and cover your face with light kisses. but, with his verbal affection- he’s more sugary sweet than he is passionate or intense.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

mischa is not the violent type, nor is he really able to fight anyone... sorry reader, but he's not willing at all to get his hands dirty. both since he wouldn't know how to fight, but also since he thinks of himself as being better than people who use violence on others. he thinks of himself as a normal person, who doesn't need to lower himself to such things... despite everything else that he does. he’d also be deeply unnerved and scared in any situation in which physical violence is involved, for both your sake and his own.

in the right circumstances though, he may blackmail someone, manipulate someone, or lie to ruins someone’s reputation… but that’s mostly if he feels threatened by a romantic rival.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

mischa is a little sadistic in the emotional sense, but he's more likely to tease you or to poke at your issues while pretending to be innocent. he’s more trying to get a reaction out of you than to actually hurt your feelings though.

he has a general sense of when he’s gone way too far in his teasing of you, and he’ll ease up on that sort of thing for a bit if so. and, naturally, turn up the affection towards you to distract and comfort you.

generally speaking, he’s very clingy, needy, and affectionate- he spends a lot of time around you. just about as much as he can get away with, really.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

yes- kissing and cuddling. he'd be pouty if his darling refused his affection, and would try to act upset so that you would feel bad enough to let him kiss you. he can be pushy and insistent on getting you to lower your boundaries… like allowing him to sleep in the same room as you, or letting him sit in you lap.

he’ll also make sure that you say things like “i love you” or call him pet names from time to time. after all, he does that to you, so why not return the favor?

he isn’t pushy about sex though, that for him is something he can easily do without. 

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

since part of his ideal relationship is to essentially act a certain role 24/7… he is not vulnerable to you in any real way, not at all.

even though he loves to put on crocodile tears and feign being hurt or insulted by things, he's actually not going to tell you about his real fears and insecurities. it may seem strange to you that he seems so open with some things, but also seems strangely cagey about others. 

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

if you physically attacked him, he'd be shocked and would probably be very offended. he doesn't see himself as being an actual threat to you, so this would be a betrayal in his eyes.

but if you just stood up for yourself verbally- he’d just pretend that you were being cruel or mean to him, in the hopes that you’ll think that you were overreacting. but, secretly he is pleasantly surprised and amused that you did- he finds it fun to mess around with you, seeing how long it takes for you to decide that enough is enough.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

seeing how you react to him, and how much he can push your boundaries before you react is very much a game to him. he's amused by seeing you squirm and sigh when you're overwhelmed.

seeing you try to spend less time with him or avoid him does upset him a little though. he does genuinely want to spend as much time as possible with you, after all.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

a darling who doesn’t do anything he asks, and is evasive, avoidant, and emotionally distant to him would also cause him to reach a certain reaction from him… where he feels he needs to step up what he’s doing to get any sort of fun out his darling. this is where he gets more emotionally sadistic, and risks angering you to just get a response out of you. maybe he should text your ex strange things, or maybe he’ll secretly let people know about some of the stuff you have that you thought was well hidden in his room… 

and, of course, he’ll be there for you while you’re scared, anxious, and confused… 

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

he definitely wants to be married, to keep his darling by his side forever. he wants his darling to do a lot of the ‘hard parts’ of life for him, and let him live a very spoiled and pampered life. so, probably both cooking and cleaning, as well as things like taxes or yardwork…

although he would love to essentially be a cutesy trophy husband, he does know that to have the lifestyle he wants he’ll likely have to settle for both you and him having jobs. sadly </3

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

he does get jealous, both of platonic relationships (you getting attention in general) as well as any romantic partners... past or present.

if you had a longterm partner while you met him- he’d be very quick to try and ruin your relationship, and possibly try to decimate your partners reputation. he may pretend that your partner hit him to make you want to break up with them, or something similar.

when he gets jealous he doesn’t lash out in the typical way, but he lets out his frustration in strange ways. he’ll be a little passive aggressive when talking about the other person with you, subtly digging on them. “hm… they sure do chew very loudly, don’t they? that’d be very annoying to hear that on dates, wouldn’t it? just thinking.”

he’ll also be teasing you more, making you do all these favors for him to see you fret over him… it helps make him feel less stressed. after spending some time with you he can calm down. though, he’ll still try to manipulate situations so that you won’t spend so much time with that person anymore.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

he acts like a clingy and loving, but ditzy and sensitive boyfriend to you. he wants all of his strange behavior to come off as him being “needy” or something similar. it’s not that he’s breaking your boundaries, it’s that he’s sad and needs comfort.

essentially, he likes being seen as cute and innocent with people, and that extends to you too. 

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

generally using you for amusement and attention at first, just like he does with everyone else. then, he’ll essentially just… casually show up around you or text you more often. it’s less that he’s trying to convince you to date him, since he has a big ego and believes that you are lucky to have him. he just knows that forcing you to date him too soon could end up in you getting freaked out and ghosting him or something.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

yes, mischa is the type of yandere to fake his personality (see:kisses above.) he’s a manipulator and quite a bit selfish, but he acts cutesy and nice with others. 

the way he acts with his darling is just a more intense and focused version of how he used to treat everyone around him. to an extent he still acts that way around everyone too, he just pays significantly less attention to other people.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

he’d never admit to it being why he does it, but loudly crying around other people works well for this purpose. it gets his darling to be more nervous of repeating the same behavior in the future, while also guilt-tripping them…

also, while he wouldn't normally go to such extremes, see: hell above.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

much like with tanner he generally lets you do whatever you want, but is just... also there with you. or he drags you to wherever he wants you to go, but the only thing stopping you from leaving is social etiquette (and if you’d feel bad for him for being “upset” that you did that.)

he's not necessarily strict, but he is very manipulative. he doesn't really need to force you to not be around your close friends... he takes up so much attention and energy from you that you don't have time for most other people. and he can just convince you in other ways to spend less time with them.

if you are more of a naïve and/or a people pleasing type, he's very likely to successfully get his way in what he wants.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

he thinks of you being unwilling or resistant as amusing, basically. he isn’t the type to get all that angry at you, at worst he’ll be passive aggressive. but he does get impatient when he feels that he isn’t getting your full attention, so he’s quick to become more blatant with his efforts to manipulate you. 

and, he becomes less patient when he starts to feel jealous. he thinks of everyone else as ‘unworthy’ of your attention and thinks of himself as ‘worthy’ of it… it makes him irritated as he feels slighted from you not recognizing this like he does.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

he does actually love you, so this would be very hard for him.

if you died, he'd be in shock. he'd be depressed for a long time... he had never even thought that this was a possibility. he'd have a lot of difficulty pretending to be cheery and playful, and may never get over the loss.

if you escaped (as in, moved to a new city or something without warning) he’d scramble to try to follow their lead and try to find you. but, he doesn’t have a ton of resources and connections, so it would be very difficult for him. he would try very hard for a long time, though, as he does genuinely want you by his side again.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

despite doing things that are definitely illegal, mischa doesn’t think of himself as being a “criminal” and thinks of himself as being above such a thing. to him, stalking is only technically illegal, so he thinks of himself as being a normal person.

instead of abducting his darling in the typical sense, he’d rather just cling to them under more ‘normal’ circumstances. the closest extreme that i think he’d go to is showing up in your house and not leaving. he would feel pretty guilty if you're clearly terrified of him after that… after all, even if he messes with you his goal is never to make you think you are in any genuine danger. he'd just be more sweet and giving towards you for a while, hoping that will help you calm down and acclimate to the situation a bit.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

mischa grew up in a good family who loved him, but he did have some issues growing up.

his family immigrated from germany when he was relatively young. his parents became more busy with their jobs and had difficulties acclimating to the culture and language, which both often distracted them from spending time with him. he at the time also felt isolated from those around him, and wanted to cling more to his parents as a result. he's used to acting out for attention and getting rewarded for it, as his tired parents just wanted to give him what he wanted whenever he threw a tantrum.

he's never really faced any consequences for his actions and knows that he likely won't, so to him... if he wants you, why not have you?

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

i think he'd be unnerved at a true breakdown, screaming or anything similar would make him feel a bit guilty and reflect on his actions. did he really do so much to make you snap like that? he'd be more cautious for a while, and may tread lightly around you for a bit. he'll keep a careful eye on you to assess why you’re having such a breakdown.

if it's just crying, he does feel a little guilty, but he’s much less worried. if anything, he sees this as an opportunity for him. he sees that as an opportunity to cuddle them and pretend to be the typical loving caring boyfriend- he's thinking this will likely make you feel more attached to him. 

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

it's not necessarily a moral thing, but as i said in blood above, he's not really going to hurt anyone physically, much less kill them. he also won't abduct the reader in the typical sense.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

mischa is short and physically weak, so it's not hard at all to intimidate him.

also, see: regret above… you aren’t being abducted and tied down, so in theory you do have the freedom to do whatever you want. if you are able to avoid him for a bit, you do have a lot of options available to you.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

nope! he's not the type to hurt his darling... not physically, at least. 

however, he can have some sadistic tendencies when it comes to teasing you or putting them in a situation that scares or bothers you (such as trying to trick a darling who's afraid of spiders into letting one crawl on them, sending the darling notes to make them know that they have a stalker to get them scared and paranoid... etc)

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

he doesn’t show it in the typical way as many yanderes would, but he does put you on a pedestal in his head. after all, he sees everyone around him as being ‘below’ you and being ‘unworthy’ of your time and attention.

he does smother you with high praise and compliments, and its coming from a real place as he really does find his darling attractive, sweet, kind, charming, etc.

but a significant reason for him doing so is for his own sake- he knows that his affections towards you, both verbally and physically, are going to make you more likely to fall for him. he’s definitely putting a concerted effort into winning you over… he’s certain that it will happen eventually, he just wants it to happen sooner rather than later.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

depends on what "snap" means in this context, since his behavior doesn't really suddenly escalate. he starts off strong and then there's a quick escalation, but there's no real point of him 'snapping' into something extreme.

but, if this just means 'general yandere behavior and manipulation'... it's not a very long time at all. once he realizes he's jealous of others getting your attention, he fairly quickly realizes how he's feeling and tries to get you to be around him more often. this probably takes a few weeks or so. then, he slowly escalates over a few months or so as he tries to see just how far he can take things. 

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

although he's not violent or extreme like the typical yandere, you are likely going to be mentally exhausted by his antics and being around him all the time. i think that in general he is the type of yandere that would very much wear you down over time until you get to a breaking point. 

so, you wouldn't break in the typical way this word is used for yandere stories- but you would very likely have an emotional breakdown after a while.

[posletsvet]

Thoughts on Geto Suguru's Psychology Pre-Defection

There's something that I've been meaning to talk about for a while now, and that is Geto's apparent tendency to conceal his negative impulses that allows for, in my view, faulty interpretations stating that he was faking his righteous beliefs all along just because assuming high moral ground gave him a sense of superiority and fed his ego. Meanwhile I would argue that, on contrary, this habit is more indicative of Geto's insecurities and heightened sense of self-awareness.

My thoughts on this underneath the cut, but beware: it's going to be long!

To begin with, I think there are two major factors playing into the misconception that I mentioned. The first one boils down to prejudice forcing people to look upon younger Geto through the lense of a person he would go on to become. The kind of cautious logic that says that a deeply empathetic, caring highschooler couldn't have turned into a murderous cult leader preaching the merits of genocide, and thus seeks ways to dehumanize him from the very beginning (because that's a terrible concept to wrap your mind around, I agree). And the second factor being... well, that Suguru's behaviour really does come off as fake at times.

We experience 'negative' emotions as naturally as 'positive' ones, and despite some of them are conventionally accepted as 'good' whereas others are painted as 'bad', no emotion is inherently harmful or invalid; they all are a part of what makes us human. While it's undoubtedly a chilly and ominous concept for someone to be completely devoid of any positive traits, just as unnatural it is to display positive responses only. Perfection is stored away at museums, no living breathing human being can go through their life without being affected by negative impulses or thinking. But more often than not negative emotions are condemned and stigmatized (in the end, we still refer to them as 'negative'), and self-consciousness can make one ashamed or guilty of experiencing them. The end result of this would be trying to hide your feelings under one more appealing appearance, creating a warp between what's intuitive and what's manifest, an inadequate emotional response.

Gojo (at least in his teenage years) is widely outspoken and doesn't hesitate to outwardly express himself, whether verbally or via body language. It probably takes root in Gojo's upbringing: he was spoilt rotten, revered for being born with a silver spoon in his mouth, his every whim indulged and tended to. There simply wasn't any need for him to try and make a good impression by faking docility and emotions that are more pleasant and easier to digest. Gojo may be boisterous and bratty and obnoxious, but he isn't trying to 'trick' anyone into thinking he's better than he really is, and this paints a more sincere, believable picture to the audience.

On the other hand, Geto's emotions, partly due to his more solemn demeanour, are often toned down or consciously concealed. For instance, when Riko manages to strike a nerve in him, his response is to immediately plaster on mawkish 'customer service' smile to not give away his annoyance. This scene is especially interesting to me because of how Amanai's reaction gives voice to the audience's concerns. Referring to Suguru, she says, 'You look like a liar!' -- and by doing so calls him out on his tendency to mask negative emotions. Intuitively, she can still read his feelings in his body language, in the delay in his expression rearranging itself into a smile, and so can the viewer. We know he's annoyed, and his words about having no intention to harm Riko don't exactly align with how he behaves (even if in a playful manner) a moment after saying them. It creates a tangible contradiction between what he says his intentions are and what his actions speak of, between the appearances and what lies behind them. And this contradiction raises suspicion, in a way that if somebody's making an effort to hide something, then there must be something to hide.

In retrospect this doubt might seem reinforced and justified. I see how it's easy to fall into thinking that Geto, having become a criminal who's done unspeakably cruel things and who backs up his delusional ideals with bigoted reasoning, should've been hiding darker parts of himself behind all those fake smiles and talks about righteousness. But pinning the blame on Geto alone by claiming that he had violent tendencies to begin with is essentially disregarding systematic issues that the story strives so much to convey to the audience. Holding innate individual qualities accountable for the catastrophe is basically the sort of thinking that the higher-ups display, whose main strategy for dealing with problems is public scapegoating and disposing of every single threat to the current order by giving out one death sentence after the other. I don't think we as the viewers are supposed to reach the conclusion that Suguru is at fault for what happened, which is not to say he's faultless, nonetheless the narrative goes to great lengths to make us sympathize with him, not the other way around.

Now, there's really a handful of ways in which Geto's character seems to contradict himself. He shares overspilling empathy for the people around him, that is his character's core trait, but that very empathy spells out his downfall when it degrades into resentment and hate. He displays a largely considerate and sympathetic demeanour, but he's first introduced to the audience as someone who backhandedly bad-mouths Utahime for being weak. He's one half of the strongest duo, but whereas Gojo is a natural-born genius, Geto evidently struggles with his powers. His entire career as a curse user is based on the mentality which justifies the means to an end, but reaching the end goal is impossible for him as he is, Geto himself as much as admits to it during his last conversation with Satoru. He sets on his wild-goose chase for power, but ends up stagnating to the point where his use of Curse Manipulation in the Hidden Inventory Arc is much more inventive and creative than in Jujutsu Kaisen 0. The list goes on, but you got the gist.

To live for the purpose of being yourself. And for that goal, Geto could only continue to pursue his twisted dream, drowning himself in a curse that lies in the gap between ideal and reality.

I believe this to be such a poignant phrase when it comes to Geto's characterization because of how well, in my view, it encapsulates the conflict of his character -- or, if you will, the contradiction of it. It succinctly expresses his outlook on things, where he views the world how it's ideally supposed to be rather than how it realistically is. I've actually somewhat already elaborated on this in my very first rambling on here:

To me, Geto seems to be a type of person who needs something to guide him, some clear-cut ideal to make it possible for him to navigate through his life. He is pedantic in that sense: the sharp outlines of his views define his surroundings, the very way he looks at things and perceives them. He needs everything to fall precisely in line with his own set of ideals, which seems to be quite verified and well-adjusted within his mind, like a strict and refined concept he constructed for himself, like a routine he's used to following out of pure principal. His own belief system being so defined, it's that which makes him indulge in excessive discourse on the subject of morality and responsibility, like he's patiently laying out the basics in front of a disobedient child to help them wrap their mind around some fundamental truth that is so obvious and natural for him.

In a way, Geto concealing his negative emotions is not a false front put up against scrutinizing looks that could reveal his 'true nature'. Quite the opposite, I think it speaks more of his well-meaning intentions. When trying to change the way things are, start at yourself, and I guess this is the principle Geto's trying to apply here. By following through his own ideal, Geto does his best to be an upright person he believes himself obliged to be, whether that means forcing himself to absorb curses or putting on a customary smile. It might be juvenile and wishful thinking on his part, probably akin to 'fake it till you make it', but it's important to keep in mind that at that time he was still but a teenager. Moreover, he was put on par with somebody as praised within jujutsu society as Gojo, he must've felt on top of the world, too entranced by their warm spring of youth to care too much about the occasional slips. With Satoru by his side, I imagine Geto could afford to cut some slack and participate in the mischief. Later we see post-defection Geto drop his frivolous facade only when he's entirely alone -- another hint at how Gojo was really the only person Suguru allowed himself to confide in, that is untill the SPVI put uncrossable distance between them.

While I do say that Geto's intentions are well-meaning, the way he positions himself actually reveals some quite problematic aspects of his mindset. Namely, his attitude towards non-sorcerers, whom he clearly sets into a different category from himself and his fellow sorcerers. Regular people lack crucial understanding, they are weak because they are helpless, therefore they have to be shielded from the source of harm. This is a largely patronizing concept of empathy, since it's based on the notion that the 'weak' are inherently inferior to Geto himself and others involved in jujutsu society. It's interesting how it's reflected in Geto's insistence on the necessity of curtains. The use of curtains furthers the extent of non-sorcerers' ignorance, they never learn how to stay out of harm's way as they are deprived even of as much as their perception of the existing danger. It reminds me of how a parent would brush a child's concerns aside because they're too young and naive and do not need to be aware of adult life's hardships. Just like Geto's paternalistic outlook, it does not come from malice or negligence, it's just an attempt to keep someone less experienced and skilled safe. Nonetheless it's harmful as it puts that person in a position which denies them agency.

In my view, Suguru's fake smiles are an extension of his acute sense of responsibility. In front of those over whom he assumes responsibility, he presents himself as calm, collected and dependable as if it's supposed to reassure them. It's his job to protect them and make them feel safe, so there's no need showing them his own struggle. Even if such thinking is condescending, it's not in any way malicious. Geto's entire character arc would be simply non-existent if he wasn't completely genuine in his sentiments.

So why do I talk about Geto's insecurities when first introducing the topic of this post? Well, I'm about to take a deep dive into the field of speculation and theories and finally get to the point why I'm writing all this in the first place (took me long enough, lmao). There's also a reason why I brought up Gojo's upbringing when talking about his personality and how it contrasts Geto's. You see, like Satoru's way of dealing with his emotions can be linked to his childhood experience, Suguru's behaviour might also give us some clues about the circumstances he grew up in.

The more I look into it, the more convinced I become that Geto was in one way or another exposed to emotional trauma in his childhood. Remember when I mentioned inadequate emotional responses? While being one, smiling in reaction to stress may act as a defense mechanism of sorts, shielding the person from the chronic nature of the unpleasant experience. It also may serve as a way to avoid alienation by others who are not privy to the source of your distress or are not comfortable with it. Affiliative smiles are motivated by social factors, it's a tool used to create and maintain social connections. Human beings are hardwired to connect with others, feeling alienated by the people around us causes us great pain.

The thing us, we must assume that Geto is relatively new to the jujutsu world in the flashback arc. Given his non-sorcerer background, chances are he was the only one in his immediate surroundings with the ability to see and exterminate curses. There couldn't have been a way for him to confide in someone with his concerns and fears born from interacting with something only he could see. So I assume that eventually that resulted in Suguru developing an unhealthy habit of masking his emotions before the ones he cared about. And as over time he grew more aware of his abilities and got a grasp on how his CT works, I imagine Geto committed to exorcising curses in order to protect ordinary people from them -- all by himself. This, in turn, must have solidified that conception in Suguru's head which ultimately othered him from the people around him and put them in a position inferior to him since they were the ones depending on him and his powers.

As Geto should've mostly kept to himself, I also see how he might have grown heavily reliant on his analytical mind. Overthinking is a habit developed early on in life as a way to wade through feeling uncertain or unsafe. It's an attempt to make sense of confusing reality by applying an analytical lense to it and compartmentalizing it into neat, easily understandable categories. And also a way to regain sense of self when you find yourself in a situation you otherwhise have little to no control over. And while over-analyzing can create a sense of security, it may also interfere with a person's emotional responses. I guess it's something that could be applied to Geto, too, because for such a self-reflective character he always struck me as someone with oddly little regard of his own feelings.

As a side note, I like how Geto's tendency to over-analyze things is shown in that one scene when Yaga's briefing him and Gojo on the upcoming mission. Suguru's clearly presented as someone who's very mindful of how the world around him works. Understanding helps him assign meaning to different aspects of life, and he relies upon it heavily. Also, as someone who's been uprooted from his former society and introduced instead to an entirely different world, I guess it's important for Geto to fit in. Him being highly knowledgeable about such essential details is, in my view, indicative of such effort on his part. Whereas Satoru simply does not care about such details, the reality makes sense to him as it is as he was born perfectly fit into it.

Last but not least, Geto's infamously guilty of a dichotomous, or black-and-white, outlook on things. This is the all-or-nothing mentality that leaves little to no room for nuance and does not allow two opposite statements to be true at once. It's a common cognitive distortion that manifests immature thought; a rigid mindset more often than not bordering on extreme. Meanwhile the very foundation of Geto's downfall is the inability to adapt to the complicated reality which doesn't align perfectly with his idealistic vision. He ultimately failed to wrap his head around the world with grey areas, his black-and-white thinking thinking prevented him from doing so.

The development of such maladaptive personality traits has been repeatedly linked to the effects of childhood trauma. If the environment which a person grew up in was traumatic and chaotic, black-and-white thinking might have given them a sense of control through rationalization. That's why a mentality which doesn't allow for nuance and doesn't reflect life in its intricate complexity comes off as childishly simplistic. Seeing the world in all-or-nothing terms in some way means reverting to your inner child. And this is actually something that Shoko accuses Geto of during their brief conversation in Shinjuku. In his thinking Geto doesn't grow past his traumatic experience, whether it was his parents actively abusing his abilities for their own gain or the ache of being alienated at such an early age.

If the nature of Geto's relationship with his parents was abusive, it would also explain his altruism. Suguru goes out of his way to express his concern for well-being of those around him, and he does genuinely care, but all the while it could be a way for him to tend to his own unsatisfied needs by helping others. He seems to be highly attuned to others through his empathy, but also somewhat has trouble advocating for himself, resulting in harmful patterns of self-sacrifice or self-neglect.

It's true, there is a lot of contradictions housed within Geto's character, which are evident in his mindset and his actions. But I don't believe this to be due to sloppy writing, on contrary -- it's the kind of writing that speaks through detail and nuance and invites the reader to ponder why is this or that character the way they are.

[sevenop]

Billie Eilish x Fem!reader: Fever

A/n: You fall into a strange fever dream, burning from the temperature. You wake up next to her, burning again, but now a sense of shame.

Inspired by the song "hostage."

You open your eyes half-asleep time after time, and the first thing you see is the invigorating coolness of her eyes, where you want to dive in headfirst.

"I would love to drown in you," you babble in a fever delirium, and Billie smiles knowingly gently, laying you back down. You feel her firm hand on your back before plopping back down on the sheets. The bed seems to be getting endless.

"Don't strain yourself until I get you some tea," her hand touches your forehead and a silver snake of sadness runs in her eyes for a second. - "You're hot as hell again."

"Of course, I'm right next to you!" - God! You'll be so embarrassed when the mercury column slowly creeps downward, releasing you from the captivity of the fever, mark my word.

"Little fool," - a smile and a pleasant chuckle adorning the next precious verbal clarification. - "My little fool."

Billie goes off to get another mug of green tea, the amount of which makes you feel nauseous, as if you were standing on the deck of a seagoing ship with your hands resting miserably on the rail. A new wave of heat sweeps over you and makes you want to peel off your skin, to say nothing of your ill-fated home T-shirt. Covering your eyes is the worst idea imaginable. The ceiling or any other interior object you throw your tired gaze at, zooms in at an imaginary x4 zoom. This only makes your ship rock more, causing more misery. You hear the button of the electric kettle in the kitchen click and the spoon rattle against the walls of the full cup. God, not the green tea...

Eilish returns with the mug in hand, sets it on the wooden stand resting on the bedside table. You watch as the green surface of the herbal tea reaches almost the most ceramic edges and your appearance becomes deader than dead.

"I understand, my heart," Eilish's hand accurate strokes your face, and you only caress closer because her hand is so cool and just because it's her, Billie.

"I'm going to throw out all the green tea in our house."

Billie nods and assures you of her help as swornly as if you were two partners in crime dumping a corpse in the river.

"We'll have a Boston Tea Party together, you just get better."

She bends down to touch your lips with her own, but you immediately put your hand on her shoulder, resisting. The previously sluggish muscles are now as tense as possible. Eilish meets your categorical "no" again, which is the only stoic thought in your infernal delirium.

"I don't want you to get sick." - Eilish doesn't make any extra effort, but you're in no hurry to remove your hand from her shoulder either, just in case.

"Please." - An ingratiating, pitiful whisper crawls into your skull, mingling with the sickening heat. Reality slowly slips away from you again, and Billie leans a little closer to you, participating as your muscles loosen again. - "I've missed your lips so damn much these past three days, Y/n. I miss being in bed without you at night so much."

"No." - you catch her sad look overriding all prudence and something breaks inside. You hastily try to make things a little better. - "Not until the temperature breaks."

Eilish sighs, but tacitly agrees to your condition. It's not clear what prompted her to do this more - the string of interviews next week or just a deep moistening to your wishes. It seems to be all of the above together. The sadness from her eyes travels over her entire face, freezing her like a mask: the corners of her plump lips are lowered, and the inner corners of her straight eyebrows are raised upward and slightly drawn together. Your resolve cracks, and you soften your sentence a little.

"If..." - The line is suddenly torn by a fit of your dry cough as you reach for the pills on the nightstand. - "If you take some antivirals, I think you can lie next to me for a while."

Billie's face shines brighter than the many gold figurines on her living room shelf, which will soon run out of room. She immediately scrambles out of her seat on your bed and disappears into the gradual silence of the house, retreating to the bathroom. You wash down the bitter pills with green tea, drowning in the world's sorrow with each sip, and fall back tiredly. You cover your eyes and return from a state of half-awakeness, only when you feel something fall sharply to your left on the bed: Billie is back and the smile on her face simply cannot be erased by anything in the world, which greatly alleviates the bitterness of any colorful pills.

"Do you want me to put some vinyl record on in the background?"

You nod, a little suspended in your thoughts, while she's already going through a lot of records. The albums slap against each other amusingly as Billie flips them back, as if digging through a filing cabinet. Slap, slap.

"Any number from one to forty?" - her neat fingers freeze in anticipation of your answer.

"Seven." - You squint, and yellow and red flashes flash before your eyes, giving you some sort of foreboding feeling. Eilish hums and you look at her with interest, lifting yourself up and folding your legs into a lotus position on the bed. She raises her arm as proudly as if it were a flagpole, and her flag cloth is indeed yellow and red. The "Don't smile at me" vinyl. The hunch really worked.

"You love me so much that you only pick my songs?" - she purrs contentedly like a cat, deftly pulling out an iridescent, two-color CD. Yellow and red echo the gamut of the cover and the smell of lemon and strawberries suddenly hits your nose. Sometimes you feel like the more you live with Billie, the more you feel this artificial synesthesia clinging to you.

The glass lid swings back, reflecting the rays of the setting sun from the window, and the record lies flat in its proper place. Billie gently lowers the turntable claw, and with a click of the button the needle runs leisurely along the embossed tracks of the record, filling the room with the sounds of her own voice, but younger and not as strong as it is now. Eilish is slightly embarrassed, and it's so beautiful to you.

"I love you always." - you spread your arms out to the side, inviting her in. - "Come here."

Billie smiles, settles on the bed with you and practically agrees to your terms, but adjusts them slightly. While you are sick, she is your caring big spoon, no objections. You feel the warmth of her body against your back as she chops the rhythm of a playful "my boy" with her fingers, hear her soft soprano entwining your heart with a satin ribbon as she intimately sings "party favor" in your ear and endlessly kissing your entire face, except for your lips, of course, which you have vetoed. You're basically her little spoon most of the time, though she so pleasantly loses and relents when you masterfully take the reins of leadership into your own hands.

"Rest, my girl," she whispers affectionately, biting you on the lobe (revenge for the kissing ban), "I'll be right there."

And with the first chords of "ocean eyes", filled with her two-voice, you fall into slumber.

×××

"I wanna steal your soul," - the hems of Eilish's white robes sweep upward slightly as she dives predatorily toward you, kneeling down for eye contact. - "And hide you in my treasure chest."

The two of you are in some incomprehensible space, where dark emptiness and the cool ripples of water on the floor coexist peacefully. You are the water-chained prisoner kneeling on your knees, she is your personal devil. The loneliness shared by two and the coolness of the water. Nothing more.

Eilish's lips bend in a tempting smile, so devilishly seductive that you feel attraction mixed with fear of incomprehension as goosebumps run through your body. Strangely, you freeze under her gaze, filled with Edenic blueness, and she just stares at you silently, and you don't try to free your hands behind your back again. The water chains no longer rattle.

She bends down a little closer to you and touches your neck with her lips gently, almost weightlessly - she leaves her mark on you. It feels like your body is being hit by a high-voltage current, although you are physically fine.

"What do you want from me?" - you mutter softly, not taking your dumbfounded gaze away from her. It is still unclear where you are, whether this is reality or something else, but the coolness unobtrusively enveloping you is pleasantly soothing. As if you needed it.

"Let me crawl inside your veins, I'll build a wall, give you a ball and chain," - she rises to her feet, towering over you. Her words have a musical tune to them that draws you in even more. And indeed: one click and you feel the weight of the water collar around your neck. Another click, and then she lifts you up, yanking you by the chain of the collar that appeared out of nowhere. It doesn't hurt at all. - "It's not like me to be so mean."

You reach up to her face to make sure it's just a dream. Your fingertips twitch with excitement, but Eilish walks calmly toward your thought and actions, her cheek resting against your palm. Devils dance in her blue eyes. It is completely tangible. You yank your hand away, like accidentally fell under a stream of boiling water, reflexively examine your palm and only further nurture the seed of confusion in the depths of your soul. O'Connell is still smiling the same way.

"What is it...?"

"Gold on your fingertips," - she approaches you with a soft step, like a misty haze over water, - "fingertips against my cheek."

"Say, I'm asleep now, aren't I?"

Billie shrugs her shoulders in a childishly funny way, and it seems to you that she really sincerely does not know what to say. Her hand gently touches your shoulder while the other finally weakness the tangle of water chains, opening up to you a great variability in the distance. In the end, you decide to relax, despite the curiosities of the environment: You trust Billie even in your sleep. She does not utter a single word, just looks at you with some mysterious note in her eyes, and the answer to her dumb question already comes into your head, which you are in a hurry to denounce in words.

"I don't know what feels true," - your lips almost touch hers, so close together, - "But this feels right so stay a sec."

"Gold leaf across your lips," - the chain rattles, the free end touching the water surface, which is why circles began to form on the surface under you, driven by the white foam of the splash. Both her hands gently touch your face, without pressure, but you feel that you personally want to obey her completely. Through her beautiful raven-colored hair, falling over her face, you catch a glint of precious yellowish luster: gold is spilling on her cheek, which you recently touched, resembling a thin twig. Her eyes hungrily catch the glare, as if turning greenish. So mesmerizing. - "Kiss me until I can't speak..."

You feel the heat on your lips and wake up.

×××

The record has stopped playing, the room is completely silent, and Eilish is kissing your lips more unabashedly than ever before. After such a strange dream, you juxtapose reality so difficult that you pull away in consternation at only the third kiss. Billie laughs loudly, bringing you back into her arms. You frankly remind her of a chicken just out of its shell. Slightly disheveled and completely lost.

"You were mumbling in your sleep and I couldn't find a better way to wake you up." - her voice sounds so playful that you don't even need to turn around to see her confident-skanky face. - "Foreshadowing your concern - your forehead is absolutely not hot. The fever's gone down."

"Such a crazy dream..." - you snuggle into her shoulder, and she's only glad, pulling you closer to her.

"I don't know what feels true?" - you see her eyebrow raise ironically. The gears in your head wind up, returning to their usual healthy mode and you bounce on the bed again, nearly falling off it from the weight of understanding the situation.

You experienced her song "hostage" in your fever dream and even spoke lines from it out loud! Oh my god...

Billie realizes just in time to keep your still sluggish but recovering body from an incredibly "pleasant" encounter with the floor: her hand deftly grips your waist and pulls you back. She smiles just as she did in your dream and you're instantly pierced by the ubiquitous lightning bolt of deja vu.

"Will you tell me more about it? Maybe we can even do it again?"

In her humble (no) opinion, your face in color now resembles the most beautiful pink rose while your state of mind is completely withdrawn under the aegis of feeling embarrassed. And before you can open your mouth, choosing words to describe the dream, she kisses you. With a groan of long-awaited pleasure and absolutely no modesty.