#if theyre in his way why shouldn't he kill them? they know what theyre getting into the same way he does

[fire-in-my-woods]

Oc thots on da mind alwayssss

[ikkosu]

Omg are you into sentinel x reader? I've been imagining a scenario where reader is one of the cogless bot he decided to kept as a 'trophy wife' (but more like a pet) to boost up public opinion

spoilers!!! (Not direct spoilers, but just tread safely in case.)

Pookie I am into anything involving sentinel, (my favorite being sentinel x my fist and back shots) ANYWAYS THAT IS SUCH A GOOD IDEA have you seen the size difference between normal bots and the miners?????? Its so delicious. Jazz was half of orion's size and he's so small djddjdjjedkekejf can imagine miner reader on sentinel's lap herhgehehehheheh and he's holding their dainty waist.

He definitely doesn't see them as an equal but I think he does kind of see them a little bit higher on the list since theyre his pet, of course. Sentinel would be astounded at how they polish their plating, being ignorant and all.

"You don't wax?"

"No."

"Right, so not even a little?"

".... No?"

"Unbelievable."

Yeah, he's um a little out of touch. So, he takes it upon himself to 'take care of them' and 'fix them' in other words, haha lol I control what you do so it's best you shut up or I'll send you back to the mines. Or, possibly killed becuase have you seen the size of this guy????

He could just grab you by the neck and boom, broken like a twig.

He's enamored by the idea that he's good husband material and would flaunt you at interviews with ridiculous, made up stories about the two of you. About how he loves coming home and seeing his conjux, 'crying' about not seeing them often because he's got 'prime duties' as he puts it. Airachnid palys as his witness by staring off into space becuase it's all bullshit.

I would imagine he'd still allow them to work so that the miners get the idea that even the Prime's conjux is working at the mines!!! So why shouldn't they?

But the moment you come back he's snatching you up and throwing you into that bathtub like Pokemon go.

You're not an idiot. You know what he's doing and playing along is better than rotting in the mines. And, besides you always knew there was something off with the prime. Cue, reader having mini subplot of unfolding his intentions!!!

This kind of scenario goes two ways, it's either sentinel picked up miner reader and put on his facade for as long as possible, being too nice but also passive aggressive and showing his streaks of aggression and ego, or he could just pick them up, already showing his true self, although I would imagine he wouldn't really yk show show his true entire intentions

Itd be funny if he fell, heads over heels first. Not because he likes you or anything, but becuase he's lonely? I mean being a prime is a lonely job and eventually he believes the facade he puts on and has some kind of crises around it which kind of makes him a little more dangerous. Becuase now you're the biggest fattest weakness to his ego and he doesn't like vulnerabilities.

He might just kill you. Its not like you can run, right?

[tsumuus]

crushing on you | aces

a/n short headcanons on if the haikyuu aces had a crush on you. not proofread.

characters kotaro bokuto, asahi azumane, hajime iwaizumi, kiyoomi sakusa

masterlist

kotaro bokuto

you and bokuto became friends at the start of high school

your similar personalities helped the two of you click

both having positive energys

but he also just loced how kind you were

he realized his feelings for you very quickly

once he did he became even more energetic and enthusiastic

constantly trying to make you laugh and smile

golden retriever boy energy

he gets butterflies whenever he hears your laugh

which is why he constantly tries to do so

he's quite open about his feelings

always including little quips like "youre so cute" "this is why i like you so much" "youre the best" into your conversations

but you can't really tell if thats just how he talks or if he genuinely feels that way about you

he loves to send you random ass reel and tiktoks that he knowns will make you laugh

constant texts that are just updates about his day or what he's seen

like "i was late to class, my teacher was so mad☹️☹️☹️" "saw a squirrel otw to practice today and it lowkey looked like you" "akashi asked why you weren't at practice today and now i'm wondering the same😫"

on the note about visiting him at practice

he always invites you to all his games

he tells you youre his goodluck charm

once he thinks ready to take the next step in your relationship

he first asks akaashi for his opinion

akaashi told him that if he believes that he's ready and that you feel the same, there really shouldn't be anything else in his way

asahi azumane

you and asahi have been friends since middle school

but he probably figured out his feelings for you around second year

he noticed how much he looked forward to your company

and how much his heart fluttered at your smile

he becomes more shy and reserved

which right away made you question what was going on with him

because he hasn't acted like this around you since middle school

but he just gets so flusteredwhen you are around

but he's still so protective over you

"looks like he could kill you, is a cinnamon roll" ew kill me barf gag gross im so sorry🤮

he walks you to school

he enjoys these kind of moments together before the teasing and torment he gets from sugawara and daichi

he just loves to listen to you talk

like just sits and stares at you with starstruck eyes

ugh hes absolutely smitten with you

he keeps his feelings to himself for so long though

like until halfway through your third year of high school

he's tired of the teasing from his friends

so he finally asks them for advice

and they just encourage him to toughen up, be brave, and be honest, and all will go well

hajime iwaizumi

you two have been friends since elementary school/childhood

met because of oikawa

you and oikawa were neighbors and happened to come over when iwaizumi was over

the rest history

jk

he saw you as a friend for the longest time

but EVERYONE could see it was more than that

but he's just like

"is it not normal to get flustered around your friend?"

"to get butterflies when she holds your hand when crossing through a busy street?"

"to get jealous when oikawa or mattsun or makki are getting a little to handsy?"

"to get sad when youre not the first person she goes to after a volleyball game?""

"to be disappointed when youre not the first person you go to vent after a particularly bad day?"

like no iwaizumi, absolutely not

but once he finally does realize he likes you, ooooooh boy

super protective but gets nervous around you hecka now that he knows why those butterflies appear in his stomach

he lowkey gets a little distant

leave him alone he just needs to figure this stuff out on his own

but after a while

he brings up to the other third years after practice that he 'might' have feelings for you

and theyre like "yeah duh"

he's just scared because he's always seen you as just a friend until recently and what if you will just always see him a friend no matter what

kiyoomi sakusa

childhood friends to lovers all the wayyyyyy

dont @ me

he's always known you were more special to him than anyone else

he likes things the way he does, and why should he be ashamed of that?

youre included in that list of "things"

because no matter what you do

you could never push him away from you

fo lifersssss fr

idk why but glue song by beabadoobee is playing in my head as i'm thinking about this

"youve been hiding in plain sight"

anyways moving on

i don't like using the word simp

bit he's your biggest simp

and he doesn't get why everybody else isn't as obsessed with you as he is

he is completely and utterly infatuated with you

but even if he's always known of how he felt for you

he constantly lives in fear as to whether you feel the same or not

he's scared you see him as nothing more than a friend

which he's accepted

but that doesn't mean he doesn't want something more

so i believe no matter how much advice or encouragement he would recieve from others like komori

he wouldn't be the one to confess

so it'd be up to you to move the relationship foward lol

[dookiecurly]

this is gonna be specific just hear me out okay this came to me in a vision +good for writing motivation or practice or whatever

imagine reader is some famous celebrity singer actor whatever and they go on the ship for whatever reason..maybe they really like space or something idk

how would they all act towards them?? would the way theyre treated get changed from their popularity?? 😳😳😳…?i cant imagine jimmy or curly acting too different towards them but daisuke maybe?? hes a fan idk im just thinking…

I'd imagine reader got on the ship because they wanted to experience space.... And because they paid lots for it.

Both before and after crash hc >∆<

Reader death not specified

Yes there's Jimmy, he's the tw

Curly

Before-Crash:

- Confused why Pony Express gave this.. celebrity.. permission to get on a cargo spaceship.

- Tries to be nice. He doesn't act like those ppl that are super excited to meet a popular person. To him, you're just another human.

- But of course, if you make a mistake on the ship he'll go a little easy on you. He assumes you probably didn't get much.. training.

- You're his responsibility as well now! But he also is probably too busy to give you a tour of the ship, he'll ask one of the others. ( Definitely not Jimmy or Swansea. )

- If he's interested in you..... I guess, small flirts when he's off the clock. He takes responsibility!

- Compliments your work if he's a fan.

After-Crash:

- Curly feels embarrassed, and even more embarrassed if he's interested in you.

- At some point, thinks you'll come back to earth and tell everyone what happened and how bad he is at being a captain. Plus, destroying Pony Express's name that MIGHT land a lawsuit.

- During all the........ Deaths, he felt bad that a person that shouldn't even be connected to all this is paying the untold price of going on the ship with them

- Probably wanted to kill himself when he was brought to the table and saw all those corpses!!

Swansea

Before-Crash:

- Doesn't give a shit

- Probably treats you JUST like Daisuke but is a little less aggressive..

- Actually, I think he thinks you're a liability and dislikes you because you're just a rich piece of shit that thinks they can do wtv they want

- Might MIGHT complain and say that you're a liability when something bad happens

- If he's interested in you, you probably remind him of his wife by appearance LMFAO, I'm just kidding I'm not funny.

- If he's interested in you, he'll treat you a little nicer.

- I don't think he'll be a fan..... Unless you're like, Shelly Duval or Frank Sinatra or something. (RIP SHELLY DUVAL AND FRANK SINTRA I LOVE YALL)

- Won't say he's a fan though.

After-Crash:

- I have a gut feeling that he'll act like those drunk adults that go like, “Isn't this how you teenagers do it? WOO!" But like in a "Aint this how you people do it in Hollywood?”

- Says you should get less food because you dont do work around the ship. Won't say this if... He's interested, or only if he's drunk and mad or mad.

- If you die before him, he'll feel a little guilty like he does with Daisuke. I don't know if it's a lot of guilt, but enough guilt.

Daisuke

Before-Crash:

- FUCKING ECSTATIC.

- Wants a picture, and a signature. Treats you special because you're a celebrity.

- Uses his free time to be your friend. If he's interested in you, hes gonna try to impress you with his intern task (Swansea fucking hates it).

- Brings you to fuck around in the ship because I'll assume that you're about the same age, or you at least have the same age mentality.

- If he's a fan, he's way worse/better. Your decision.

After-Crash:

- Once again, if hes interested in you, he tries to be your big prince charming. When they start rationing the food, he gives you more

- I don't know if he'll prioritise you because you're a celebrity, but he tries.

- Tries to cheer you up when things get bad

- If you die before him, he kinda just............ Guilt. Yeah, thats all. Kinda feels like he didn't help enough.

Jimmy

Before-Crash:

- Thinks you're a liability 2.0

- Doesn't respect you

- Thinks you're a bitch because your life is better than his on Earth

- Probably.... JUST PROBABLY, daydreams about doing things to you so he can 'humble' you. Likes the thought of such a loved and respected person gets humiliated.

- If he's interested in you.... He'll have worse thoughts.

- Probably complains about you, in front of you.

- Not a fan, doesn't like the internet.

After-Crash:

- Now thinks youre... Still the biggest liability of the ship. In fact, you're the worst of the worst.

- Says you should get less food because you don't do any work 2.0

- If you die before him... Awesome! Doesn't care. Won't spare you even if hes interested, but cares.

- Gets married to your corpse, AGAIN I'M KIDDING. Doesn't strike me as a person who'd get married unless it benefits him, actually nevermind, go read Jambalaya Enthusiast's fic about Reader in the film industry in Jambalaya Enthusiast's Masterlist.

Anya

Before-Crash:

- Might be curious?

- She'll be nice >u<

- Yeah, she's probably the one giving you a tour!

- Anya will be a little concerned that a person like you is on the ship. In a way that she's concerned that a person who doesn't have any training is on the ship.

- She'll be glad to help you with anything, like motion sickness.

- If she's interested, she'll try to do little gestures for you. I think her love language is acts of something something, I forgot.

After-Crash:

- Anya doesn't really want you to come into the medbay and look at Curly.

- She gets super nauseous, so she doesn't want you to get super nauseous in an unfamiliar and stressing environment.

- Perhaps will give you a little of her food with you. I feel like Jimmy has engraved into her brain that she's not a good enough nurse, so she thinks she doesn't deserve the food she eats ( because Swansea and Jimmy say you don't deserve the food. )

- Comfort her, she's dying in her thoughts and wants to go to the medicine supply.......

- If you die before her, she will actually start spiralling.

[envy-of-the-apple]

"God forbid god forbid god forbid", this is the repetitive phrase thats been circling on my mind(besides reader's character) because god forbid IF megumi finds out how you and gojo's relationship actually started, he would be the one that's in a pinch between saving his mom or keeping the peace, like she would always do. Its still hard to imagine how he would act after that revelation, but its no brainer he wont ever see nor respect gojo in a new light ever again, plus he would only feel with the intent to hurt(kill) gojo whenever they cross paths (lmaooo homicidal tendencies passed down from father to son)

Would gojo and megumi level cities for you, or would megumi just accept this shit, stew along his hatred and just get all resigned and tired feeling animosity and loathing for gojo(but the hate will still remain until he dies), and would these all depend on megumi's age aligning to how he would act? Its hard to imagine him how he would be, poor baby

And the kicker is when they all got additions to the family! We know he will be a great older brother and despite a bit of dislike about them because of who their sire is, hes obviously not the kind of person who will pin the sins of their father on them when theyre innocent in all of this. Though would he be that sibling who would jab at gojo at every opportunity without ever revealing contexts or would he just keep silent and just have their ignorance about the nature of you three.

All in all, you and megumi wont be having a good time, and definitely WILL motivate you to not let an inkling of discomfort bleed even through your pore whenever megumi's around lest he gets wind of it. Sorry its all over the place

i don't think I'll ever want to actively explore what Megumi will do if he finds out what happened. I highly doubt Ms.rain or Gojo would ever be that obvious about it, especially Ms.rain. Something hinted throughout the story is how self-sacrificial ms.rain is. That's why Ms.rain can't even hate Gojo after what he did. Ms. rain will do everything possible to keep the peace. You not retaliating against Gojo is also largely due to Megumi himself. He's such a small kid and Gojo's the only connection he has to the jujutsu world. How could you break that?

Also, Megumi is still a kid. At ten years old, you aren't really worried about the weird politics happening with your mom. It may take Megumi a couple of years to start to question why you and gojo's relationship seems so...off. Maybe someone else comments on it first, and now he's also finding it strange that gojo's affection towards you is mostly unreciprocated. It might have to do that you're shy, not a fan of PDA, but you almost seem indifferent...even if a tiny bit uncomfortable.

I really wish I delved more into Megumi and Gojo's relationship within the fic (but it was already 10k words long, i was not in the mood to make it longer), but I hope i implied how much Megumi respected Gojo. Their relationship is the same as the canon version. He thinks the world of gojo (despite acting otherwise), it will take a while for him to even question this new development between you and Gojo.

In the end, I think his reaction would be to quickly shut it down and ignore it. Of course your relationship was strange-Gojo is strange. Besides, gojo makes you happy. He buys you new clothes, jewelry, showers you with gifts. You two even have a baby on the way and he's seen the way you've been reminiscing over his baby photos. As long as you're happy, he shouldn't care.

As long as you're happy...right?

[mullettaegi]

incoming: another fucking voltron rant because i watched a langst edit and now i wanna cry😭😭

they did not take time. they did not slow that show down for a little bit. especially for lance. cause he did not getting a fucking moment to find himself again after he FUCKING DIED. we saw him homesick, we saw him missing his family, we saw him insecure about his position on the team, we saw him insecure about himself, but we never actually saw him go anywhere else but being sad. he really did get barely any character development.

and tbh i feel like in a way just all the characters didnt have a moment to slow down. and i know, i know, its a kids show, its about fucking robots for fucks sake, theyre in the middle of a war. which, yeah. youre right. but there couldve been so much more, for him, for all of them. what about them? as people, with feelings. where are there emotions. why is it only sadness and happiness and not the enitre confusing spectrum of emotion between. does pidge not feel lost after she finds her brother? yeah, hes back, but i bet she didnt imagine she would be fighting an intergalactic war, and now matt is too. she imagined family dinner, brother barging into her room, dad making corny jokes, house happier and full of life.

hunks family was put in a fucking work camp. he had seen this across the galaxy, zarkons army imprisoning people, making them work, killing them. did he imagine that for earth ? did he imagine that for his family? how the fuck did he cope fighting a war, anxious as he is? how did he cope at all?

shiro isnt even in his fucking original body. thats fucking weird. im not saying that in a rude way bc like yeah, organ transplants are a thing irl, and a major life saving thing they are ! but like, how odd it must be to have someone elses kidney or heart in your body. nevermind to have your entire soul and conciousness put into another body, you but not really you.

keiths life,,, dude probably just doesnt even give anything a second fucking thought anymore. but like, could they not have shown him showing some more emotion. fair enough if he doesnt always cry in the moment but rather late on, but you'd think seeing allura die, they wouldve at least put some tears in his eyes. he had fucking no one before he had voltron. only shiro, and even then he was alone for so long when shiro had been on his mission. you cant tell me he didnt want to think of voltron as his family. they bonded :(

and lance, gosh lance. i feel like, if we looks at this as it is, lance would be the character that people think back on and go "oh yeah, he helped me accept my emotions, he helped me become the best version of me and gain confidence in who i am". in the fandom hes seen as someone with big emotions that he wears on his sleeve, but also someone who will put everyone else and their needs before himself.

he's a story of self-sacrifice, quite literally. he's the story of sincere love, of casual admiration. he's the story of the most wonderful friend, of loyalty, of no, I'll step down because there's a cause bigger than me, and im not the one for the job when there's people like my friends and you on the team.

and no one wanted to explore that? no one wanted to see him do more than just, what? flirt and literally die and fall in love and barely find his place on team voltron? that was it for him. it shouldn't have been, but it was.

[adidegmez]

spn s15 spoilers

s15 ep1(back and to the future)

one last time, the road so far. the demon is funny. i love big brother dean. their lat scene was awesome. we got work to do, this Show is going to kill me. this is the last season. their story will end. probably with a sad ending. i dont want to say goodbye.

s15 ep2(raising hell)

ketch! hi ketch. he knows how to make an enterance. rowena and ketch? rowena cared about jack. amara, i didnt think we would see her. kevin, ive missed you. where is jack, he was in the empty what is he doing now? we started saying goodbyes with kevin. and this will go on. i hate goodbyes.

s15 ep3(the rupture)

i miss crowley. ketch died. They're slowly removing everyone from the story. We're nearing the end. and now rowena. rowena is complicated, i love her. i thought rowena would want sam to kill her so that she could e the queen of hell or something like that. maybe she can return as queen of ell that would e nice. adam is still in the cage. dean, why are you so mad at cas? cant you forgive him? i wouldnt want their story to and like this but dean sam and cas theyre alive. there are 17 eps left. things will go bad. i hope they can get a happy ending, i hope they will all live but i dont think they will.

s15 ep4(atomic monsters)

i thought i saw benny. we got him and lost him in a minute. dean is gorgeous(i had to say it, he is always gorgeous). i love seeing deans smile, sam and cas too but dean is different, he is my favorite. becky, wow, she has a family? i would love to see team free will just doing laundry and talking with eachother without worrying about monsters. im happy for becky. becky youre gonna ruin winchesters life. poor boy it wasnt his fault but if he cant control it he has to die. if only there could be another way. Did Jensen sing the song? If anyone knows the name of the song, can you tell me? dean is hopeful we need that but Chuck is not gone. and he is going to ruin things. he will make the winchesters suffer, just because he enjoys it and doesnt like the winchesters anymore. and thats why i hate him

s15 ep5(proverbs 17:3)

why is sam having those dreams? is Chuck messing with his head? everyone is confused about deans pictures but he looks the same maybe a little bit older but same look. he even has the same hair. sam is the one WHO changed he look very different especially his hair. that doesnt make any sense everyone is suprised at deans not sams? lilith?!! only thing thet can kill the god (except jack i think) is gone. nice there is a link they can use that link. you were never free dean. i wish amara ould help them. maybe se will help them. but they need jack.

s15 ep6(golden time)

now eileen. Chuck is trying to break the winchesters. Dean doesn't seem to care because he's tired of playing Chuck's games and there doesn't seem to be any way they can beat Chuck right now. If they can find a way, Dean will go back to his old self. and they will beat Chuck. together, team free will (2.0 maybe jack will come too). what happened to banes twins. will we see them again? eileen is okay. well at least we have one good thing. Chuck is messing with cas now.

s15 ep7(last call)

dean is amazing, jensen is amazing. i love when he sings. he was happy at that bar, i love seeing him happy. it was good to see him happy in this last season, i hope we can see them happy more. sam cant die. they can beat Chuck but they still need help(maybe jack can help them)

s15 ep8(our father, who aren't in heaven)

they finally remembered adam. i love donatello but i miss kevin. hello rowena! i miss crowley, im glad she is the one whos in charge. i love rowena. adam is out of the cage. eileen and sam could be together. Chuck will kill eileen, right? Dean, you shouldn't still be mad at Cas, we're getting close to the end and you two shouldn't stay on bad terms anymore. i want jack back, when is he coming? okay, i hate Chuck. i used to love him when he was just a prophet but as god no i dont like him. he just watched all of them suffer and enjoyed it. and he is stil hurting them. he is a monster. i like this Michael. thanks to cage and adam he is better now. adam is in a better situation than the others. purgatory, i hope we can at least see benny.

s15 ep9(the trap)

of course chuck was behind all of this. benny is dead. when someone dies in purgatory where would they go? i thought they would born again in purgatory. dean finally forgave cas. No, this ending definitely wouldn't happen. Even if Sam and Dean had turned into monsters, they wouldn't have become monsters. They wouldn't have fought Bobby and Jody. They would have let them kill themselves. Cas is getting the mark. I hope this doesn't end badly like Dean's. jack!!! yes. why is billie doing this? idc Shell bring jack back. and he'll beat god. how can the light be bad? if hes bad, how can there be balance?

s15 ep10(the heroes' journey)

do they have bad luck or something? its Chuck isnt it? i heard some people say, garth didnt named his kid dean because he knew sam would name his kid dean and this makes sense to me. at least nothing bad happened to garth and his family. yeah they cant be normal. it was funny to see them like that but this isnt WHO they are.

s15 ep11(the gamblers)

hi jack! you finally came. my heroes. they are going to save the World. with cas and jack.

s15 ep12(galaxy brain)

I had forgotten about Kaia. Jack now has powers but he won't be able to use them. Kaia will be a problem. i hate Chuck. he is bored so he is destroying worlds. he needs to go. i loved old dean more.

s15 ep13(destiny's child)

when i watched about scoobynatural, i thought team would travel through different universes. for at least one season we couldve just watch them travel have fun save people but no they cant have fun more than one episode. if someone would help jack he can rule instead of Chuck. jack doesnt have a soul but he is good. i wish he had his soul. i loved meg. jack got his soul back, finally.

s15 ep14(last holiday)

i love deans reaction. cant they live like this? they are happy. of course they cant, Chuck wouldnt let that happen. Jack began to speak his father's language:) . dean, the birthday cake was nice. i love them.

s15 ep15(gimme shelter)

dean lied again.first to other kaia now amara. i hope he can keep his promise so he wouldnt be lying. jack will sacrifice himself. hopefully cas will find a way.

s15 ep16(drag me away (from you))

i hate seeing winchesters fight, especially when it's so close to the end. I hope they can be back to normal before this is all over.

s15 ep17(unity)

jack's not family? dean how could you say that he is your kid, he is a winchester. i love amara. i hope jack and amara can spend time with eachother. i hate Chuck. he manipulates everyone. it was Chuck all along. if only dean didnt lie to amara. she was nice she was trying to help but now she is dead. now jack is dying again.

s15 ep18(despair)

i want to say jack cant die but i cant be sure of anything. the story is ending in 3 episodes. billie didnt change she always wanted this. okay jack is alive nice. since this is the ep i can say it. cas will die in this ep and i know it. i knew it for a while i hoped this day would never come but here we are. this will be the day i learn this storys ending. i hate billie too. billie left her toy. does that mean theyll reap god and hell die like that and billie read it so she left the weapon to kill Chuck. i love Charlie. she was happy. eileen is gone. i thought maybe she and sam could be together. i love donna. i love garth. i love jody and the girls. i love bobby. Charlie bobby donna i thought they were safe, theyre gone now. i know how this will end cas will summon empty it will kill death and cas. i hope this wont happen but it will. cas will die. their story will end. cas is gone. and he didnt day goodbye to sam and jack. he saved dean. cas is gone.

s15 ep19(inherit the earth)

what is happening to jack? how can they beat God? how can they win? i hate Chuck. he killed miracle. Michael! adam is gone too. i didnt think we would see Michael again. and i didnt think i would be happy to see him but i am. there may be hope yet. maybe they can do something together. i cant deans reaction to lucifer was funny but i cant laugh. he thought cas was alive he thought he came bak and it wasnt cas he saw lucifer. i never thought we would see lucifer. i love lucifer when he is not serious or when he isnt trying to end the World. so he is good for now. i hate lucifer again. yes! Michael killed lucifer, i cant believe it. Michael betrayed them. i liked him. i cant trust anyone but team free will 2.0. i hate Chuck. i would take that ending, i would. they won but hey lost everything but they won and theyre together except cas. there is still one ep left. and evertones back. this is not the perfect ending because cas is not here but its a good ending. if only it was the end. because they are alive. they live. this felt right but why is there another episode. i hope we just see them grow old and live their lives but we wont. i know we wont. i just wish we could. i dont want to watch next ep. i know that ep broke everyone. i know how it ends. but why this should have been the ending. this felt right it wasnt complete but it felt right. this couldve been the ending why make us suffer more? of course i dont want it to end but if the story ending i would want it to be like this. this i want to say perfect but its not cas is gone but it was okay. im not ready to watch the next ep. but here we go one last ep. their story is ending here.

s15 ep20(carry on)

what happened to carry on? why didnt it play. i wanted just one thing i hope it at least plays in the end. im okay with just wathing them live their life without a big bad guy or something. why? why? why? it was always sam and dean, always. why end it like that? they were happy they were together they were both alive. i dont want to say it but dean is gone. sam is alone. bobby, hi! cas is alive?! that what they deserved as heaven. but dean shouldve had more time with sam. but im not going to complain they all can be together again. tahnks to jack and cas. yes this ending break me but it was beautiful. in the end they are happy and they are together forever. i just wish we couldve seen at least cas and jack.

this story was beautiful 2 brothers together with the help of their frinds and family they saved the World. and they got the ending they deserved it was meant to be like this dean would die and sam would live for everyone WHO died. spn writers i think they gave us a gift with jack, they made heaven a good place they made heaven what it was meant to be. and thanks to them and jack winchesters and everyone we cared about is happy. anyway im glad i witnessed their story for 15 seasons i laughed and cried with them. they mean so much to me all of them.

i dont want to say goodbye so this is a see you later because ill be seeing them. ill always remember them. i love all of them. i love dean sam cas jack bobby mary john kevin Charlie jody donna crowley rowena and the others WHO helped winchesters WHO loved winchesters.

im really happy im a part of this fandom. ill never leave here. im looking forward to see spn stuff. so

see you later

[bionicle-ramblings]

Something I never realized I needed to see:

Toa Vakama talking to Ackar

It would SHATTER a lot of the canon, and before the talk the two have, and here's the build up to that:

Not sure where Vakama would be, arc-wise, most likely in the post-Legends of Metru Nui-Pre-Hordika arc, but he's a toa and somehow he's with Ackar. How Ackar even got to Metru Nui, I don’t know. Maybe he got exiled and ended up wandering somewhere he shouldn't have and ended up in the Great Spirit robot. Idk, just play along😅

Maybe the Toa Metru are ambushed by the Visorak, but rather than be captured, Ackar saves them all with nothing but his fighting ability, almost effortlessly defeating the group of Visorak or fighting off a good number of them before the rest get scared off because they don't want to deal with a Ta-Metru Toa who swings first and asks questions later

Regardless, Ackar, seeing the Toa, gets them to safety, having to make trips to move them because they cannot move themselves(they're paralyzed). The toa all try asking him who he is or where he's taking them, why he saved them, what he's going to do with or to them, maybe even ask him to identify himself; I imagine known of them have seen a Glatorian before

What ultimately gets Ackar to snap is when Vakama demands he talk, to which Ackar very sternly asks the Toa of Fire if he wants to get them all killed by making noise and alerting others to their location

Maybe Ackar hides them on a cart or some other methos, but eother way, he manages to get them moved so they're all on the move and not sitting ducks, for lack of a better term. He also tells everyone to keep their mouths shut because theyre being followed

No need for panic because it's just Norik and the other Rahaga, who have been following Ackar and would like to do some business with him. They offer him an alliance, he joins their side and his fight for survival gets easier. They do not want to be his enemy, knowing he's skilled as all hell and fighting him isn't a good idea. Ackar finds it a tempting offer, but asks if part of this alliance involves ratting out the so-called Toa Metru he's been hearing about but has not seen(no way is he handing over defenseless Toa), and Norik admits that the Rahaga have the same goal as the Toa, and Ackar, oddly enough: save the Matoran of Metru Nui

Ackar isn't too keen on the idea, but takes it into consideration as he leaves, keeping an eye out for the Rahaga in case they follow him

Because she's the closest in proximity, Nokama asks how Ackar found them, asking him as quietly as possible so she doesn't draw attention to them. Ackar mutters back that he heard them arguing and followed them so they wouldn't get hurt; the six are rookies, as far as he's concerned, and he didn't want them to get killed. Nokama asks him if he's a Toa and how he's kept his power, but Ackar explains he's actually not a Toa, or even from Metru Nui. He tells her to keep quiet until they get to safety and he'll explain everything later

Nokama does just that and Ackar blades up when he sees Gaaki and Iruni in his path, daring them to try picking a fight because Ackar is not in the mood for their games

They aren't in the mood either and tell Ackar that he'll face Rahi and more Visorak, going the direction he is, so how does that alliance sound now?

A slight argument breaks out and Vakama, Matau, and Onewa, who are starting to get mobility back, arm themselves and get ready to attack

It goes as well as you'd expect. Ackar is not impressed at seeing Matau only succeed in falling flat on his face, very disappointed when Onewa tries attacking him and also falls down, though Gaaki and Iruni fight him to get him off the ground, and sees Vakama with his disk launcher and DARES him to try it

Weeeeell, TLDR, Vakama F's around and finds out when he shoots at Ackar and ends up getting body slammed, because Ackar can admire courage, can admire fool's courage, but he will not admire a fool

Vakama comes to in Ga-Metru, body hurting and head spinning, but alive and not a Hordika. He's also in some kind of shallow cavern, and can hear the other Toa talking. He goes to investigate and finds Nokama speaking with Norik and Ackar, Onewa and Matau helping each other stand up and walk so they're not having trouble later on, and sees Whenua talking with the other Rahaga, mainly Bomonga, about what was in/let out of the archives, and trying to logic out what they're dealing with and how they're going to deal with it

Nokama spots Vakama first and more or less walks up to him, the entire team is recovering from being paralyzed, asking him how he's feeling. Vakama admits he could be better, but asks what's going on because he's been out for what feels like forever

Ackar takes the blame, admitting he threw Vakama harder than he really meant to and that the Toa are a lot lighter than what Ackar's had to fight. Onewa asks what he's fought and Ackar admits he's been in a war and fought to end disputes, to say the least. He also has been hiding out in Metru Nui because he hasn't had many places to go. Vakama asks why he hasn't ever stepped in when to help and Ackar admits he did once and he went toe to toe with someone who fought hard enough to impress Ackar, and let him know things would be okay

And then he vanished and the six toa showed up, and Ackar is not stupid enough to try his luck against opponents he doesn't know. He does ask where his opponent went, though, now that he's got the six Toa in one place and Matau states that Lhikan is dead, having been killed by the Makuta Teridax, but the six of them sealed him away

Ackar hopes it's for good and asks what they plan to do next and Onewa jabs at Vakama by saying they were rushing in to save the Matoran, but Vakama overstepped and almost got them killed. Vakama, already feeling guilty for what happened, snaps at him by asking him what he would have done, then, and Onewa admits that he wouldn't have led his team into a trap. Vakama argues that he wouldn't have if he knew what was going on or what they were walking into

Norik breaks up the arguing by stating that they don't have time to bicker, not with Roodaka, Sidorak, and the Visorak in Metru Nui. The toa are lucky to have gotten out without being catured and mutated into Hordika, but now the Visorak Horde will try harder, will be more vicious and they need to keep their heads on straight if they want to stay alive and rescue the Matoran

Seeing that there isn't much room to argue, and that the alternative is not a good option, Vakama agrees with the other Toa, siding with the Rahaga and Ackar, who has taken note of Vakama in particular and makes a note to speak with him one on one when the two have a moment alone

[suzakushimon]

Thoughts on Jing Liu quest?

AHAHAHAHA (negative connotation)

u came to the right person anon, i have a lot to say...

IT WASNT THAT GREAT..... at first i spent a whole night convincing myself it was a reasonable way for the story to go but they did dan heng WAY too dirty. idk why luofu writing is so SHIT but if the current scandal is true and an employee rly has been messing w the story just to mess w the female fans, it explains a lot 💀

there were parts i liked: the art + the fight scene was a banger + how jingliu points out dan heng fights exactly like dan feng. it emphasizes how, whether he likes it or not, there are some things dh has inherited from df and he cant escape that. his appearance, his spear, his bracer, the ribbon, his vidyadhara powers, etc etc... if it wasnt for df, dh wouldnt be who he is today-- thats the truth, and its something dh can grow to accept.

but holy FUCK. the way they handled everything else. dan heng's memories. jingliu's introduction and her motives. blade's characterization. THE PLOTHOLES. just....ITS KINDA ALL WRONG!!!!!

IN MY OPINION. dan heng's whole POINT is that he doesnt remember his past life/his "past". he considers those memories as "not his", and asserts himself as his own individual person without them. its IMPORTANT he doesnt remember anything + that he doesnt NEED to bc this way he contrasts march 7th and the trailblazer, who also dont have their past memories-- but those 2 WANT to remember, are actively trying to, and they DO consider their past memories/past life as part of "themselves". whereas dan heng runs from his past and tries to find his "true self" without it, march and trailblazer run towards theirs, trying to catch glimpses of their "true selves" through it.

SO THERE'S LITERALLY NO REASON HE HAS TO REMEMBER DAN FENG'S PAST. it completely messes up his character arc/the message his character is trying to send!! they backpedaled so hard on their stance towards dan heng... first it was "only u can determine who u are, no one else; the expectations others hold for u dont matter" and now its "u are him no matter what u do, these sins are yours". like WHAT???? jingliu's quest just made more people equate dan heng with dan feng when the story is SUPPOSED to emphasize that they r DIFFERENT PEOPLE💀💀💀💀

dan heng did decide to face dan feng's sins, but he's NOT a part of the quintet. he's a WHOLE NEW PERSON. so why was he invited as a part of the quintet, but bailu wasn't?? its like theyre saying bailu is a whole new person, but dan heng is still dan feng, WHICH GOES AGAINST HIS CHARACTER THEMES(i am silenced and forced to sit down) anyways imo if bailu didn't have to attend the worlds worst high school reunion, dan heng shouldn't have had to attend either!!!! THIS AINT HIS PROBLEM. DAN HENG GET BEHIND ME!!!!!!!!!

his convo with blade at the end was so ooc it killed me. like, a little walk with his past life's old friend, and suddenly he's willing to forgive blade's literal years of stalking and attacking him??? now hes willing to play along with the vengeance he spent his whole life insisting was directed at the wrong person???????? i only chose that option bc the one on top sounded so wimpy/out of place it also felt ooc to me 💀 he wouldnt show weakness to blade, but there's no way he'd be that accepting either. maybe 3 years later and x patches in, but not NOW...

and jingliu. ooooh girlie. JINGLIU. THEY DID HER SOOOO FUCKING DIRTY. she's a new character. casuals/people who dont dig through lore don't know anything abt her except that shes jingyuans teacher. so why is her INTRODUCTION a fucking CONCLUSION TO HER CHARACTER ARC???? shes already DONE wandering and finding an answer in her heart. shes already DONE deciding whether or not to keep running or face her past. now shes mourning for a PERSON WE DONT EVEN KNOW. we watch her get closure for her dead girlfriend. BUT SO WHAT??? WE DONT EVEN KNOW EITHER OF THEM!!! SEEING HER GET CLOSURE MEANS NOTHING TO US. ITS JUST AWKWARD. why was her INTRO her fucking CHARACTER ARC'S CONCLUSION!!!!!!! they should've made her quest like luocha's, where all we did was speculate and her real motives remained a mystery. then we couldve been spared from this shitfest!!!!

the difference in quality between belobog story and luofu story is insane!!!! like, just compare luka's quest to jinglius....hello??? its crazy how unsympathetic they made her. it was literally "tell not show" instead of "show not tell".

anyways im just upset at dan heng's treatment. like, this character has a clear message/direction they were going for, but jinglius quest kind of stomps all over it, and her quest was supposed to introduce her but her introduction flopped hard. she was so much cooler when we saw her during yanqings quest and she was half insane. its awkward to mourn for someone we dont even know and its awkward to watch someone we dont know mourn. and, ngl, it rly felt like they only added dan heng in there bc they want more ppl to care abt the quintet. that whole quest couldve been through jingliu's pov where the reunion only happened between blade, jingliu, and jingyuan, so why wasn't it??? as opposed to those three, dan heng already moved on from the past. it was awkward for dan heng and for the audience💀

tldr i had high expectations bc i thought hoyo cared abt the quintet but not only did it flop it also dragged dan heng's characterization through the mud

[faggotgamzee]

hello i have a skephalo vampire au that ill never write but i want it out of my head, a plot outline under the cut, feel free to do whatever the fuck you wanna do with this id just love to see it if you do

Skephalo vampire au: Bbh meets skeppy in the most unfortunate of circumstances, 12 year old skeppy gets bitten and kept as a vampire spawn with no will and servant to the vampire that bit him, bbh and his mentor raid the place and kill all the vampires, bbh takes pity on young skeppy, not being capable of killing a child he decides to feed him the blood of the vampire that bit him to free him of the trance and orders him to run, unbeknownst to his mentor. Time skip 8 years later skeppy has left his hometown where he was bitten and is doing very well for himself, he is a very adept vampire with a clan thats like a family (think idots, invadedlands gang) he is rich and invests in real estate (lol) but tells people he is a magician for a living. Vampires in this au can be in the sun but only for short amounts of time otherwise they’ll get bad skin burns eventually think 2-3 hours max, skeppys strong suit is that he can stay out in the sun double the amount and skeppy is very adept at using vampire compulsion in a way that makes people not realize, it’s very soft and more of a suggestion and planting ideas in people's heads he is also very good at blending in with normal people. Skeppy decides he wants to go back to where he grew up on a whim one day, either to confront his past or something like that, everyone disagrees with him and the he shouldn't because that area isnt a safe space for vampires due to vampire hunters but he decides to hell with their warnings and leaves, they all follow him one by one eventually because theyre worried for him and theyre not gonna leave him alone in case he gets in trouble In almost a string of fate type deal he immediately runs into bbh in a bakery/coffee shop looking for muffins, skeppy recognizes bbh and is almost floored he is just standing there staring at him in shock before he realizes he should probably act normal, he says hi and then he is worried at first that bbh will recognize him but he doesn't skeppy has changed very much from when he was 12, skeppy almost considers following bbh but he knows he is a hunter and doesn't want to risk it, instead he camps out the shop hoping to see him again and he does, bbh comes in every couple days for muffins and coffee After a while he works up the courage to approach him out of impulse and to talk to him he doesn't know what compels him but he needs to know more about him Essentially he tries super hard to befriend him, after a couple false assumptions about dating and a LOT of suspicion and shut downs, bbh agrees to hang out with him after skeppy tells him he is a magician and he gets roped in to do a show for kids that bbh teaches and skeppy is floored thats the thing that gets him to open up Bbh hasnt been a hunter in a long time, he works as a teacher’s assistance for elementary kids, he does become a sort of a mentor to the dteam in terms of vampire hunting picking them up like strays over the years, dream especially is very gungho about being a hunter after a bad experience with werewolves and he is very good at studying and the reputation of the area being dangerous for the paranormal comes from him (i think itd be cool if he gets bit and turned into a vampire later on and skeppy gives his help and its a secret between them)

George comes from a family of witches/warlocks so he is already familiar with the paranormal he met bbh when they were both highschool age and they kinda just.. Knew that the other knew and stuck together Sapnap was bad’s first stray he (dream being second) that he picked up after saving him he was orphaned after a real bad vampire attack and sapnap just kinda stuck to him like glue bad tried to avoid him but sapnap is persistent and real quickly bad kinda just warmed up to him and started teaching him and took on a more father figure role for him Everyone jokes that skeppy really seems to want to date bad cuz skeppy is obsessed with bad and no one realizes why skeppy is so fascinated by bad in that he saved his life years ago, he knows bad would kill him if he knew what he was so he keeps it a secret and he is very good at blending in, he keeps wanting to see how far he can take it and after a bet from one of the idots (they dont know bad is a hunter) that he wouldnt be able to drink bad’s blood he takes it to a next level and starts a dance between them, bbh is immediately suspicious of skeppy and shares that suspicion with dteam only to be met with something along the lines of not everyone who is interested in you is out to kill you Skeppy enjoys toying with bad and seeing how far he can go, its maddeningly harder than he thought to drink his blood, bbh is very prepared and very vigilante, any attempts of following him home are moot he always loses him, he still manages to fuck with him, bad is always doubting if skeppy is a vampire or not until he isnt either via dream getting bit and skeppy helping him and it coming out or something like that, but its important for it to come out after bad and skeppy have grown inseperably close so he doesnt kill him immediately lmao Notable mentions technoblade and skeppy both were orphan vampires in a city and have a sort of camaraderie between them

[wraether]

dude tbh im a totally different anon but im frothing at the mouth like a little rabid clown begging to know more abt these characters. theyre sick asf and listening to the occasional nonsensical brain rambling is why i followed in the first place lol

Everything's under the cut, I tried to make it make sense without forcing you to read a billion excerpts from the roleplay, just a few. TW for toxic friendships, abuse, mentions of alcoholism, and also like. a lot of text

Before anything I've gotta give you a rundown on the necessary context to understand why exactly I've been losing my mind over these two. In short, they're characters from a danganronpa killing game roleplay server, where the "gimmick" is that every member of the cast has committed a crime & the setting is vaguely prison themed/inspired by deco*27's MILGRAM project; I write for Patryck, and my friend writes for Josephine AKA Soap. Here are their character profiles:

(God the art for these is already kinda old...)

For a brief rundown on their personalities, Patryck is a fairly average guy who desperately tries to be cooler than he is. He can't seem to hold down a partner, works too hard, and he's lacking in self control. In five words I'd describe him as flirty, burnt-out, insecure, sarcastic, and clingy. Soap is a lazy, hedonistic con-artist who's physically weak but great at reading people. They're a highly manipulative liar, and in five words I'd describe them as laidback, relaxed, nosy, cowardly, and pleasure-seeking. This is oversimplifying it, but I think it gets the general idea across.

Patryck is in on battery & aggravated assault charges for attacking a customer at work, and Soap is in for false impersonation—for most of the game, she was going by Josephine, the name of a missing person who's identity they'd stolen.

As far as the game goes, the two of them developed a "friendship" early on because Soap saw Patryck as weak and vulnerable—which he very much is—and he, simultaneously, needed someone to dump his issues onto. One of his toxic traits is forcing people to play therapist for him so, in a way, Soap was perfect for this… But unfortunately for him they had nothing but bad intentions. Patryck would run to them whenever he felt stressed or otherwise needed comfort and, in turn, Soap would lend an ear and pick apart his brain, pushing him into making worse decisions so he'd get upset again, crawl back, and the cycle would repeat. Examples of this include telling him it's okay to start drinking again when he started relapsing back into alcoholism, encouraging him to get into a romantic relationship with someone else when he definitely wasn't ready, saying he shouldn't stand up for himself after being threatened, etc.

This came to a head when, for one of the game's motives, Patryck was forced to wear a shock collar while Soap was given a remote that activated it. The power from this immediately went to their head, and without getting too into it, she shocked him repeatedly under the guise of "therapy" while getting him to trauma dump about things he usually kept under wraps and did this until he uhhh… passed out. The pain mixed with their placating, kind tone and scraps of physical affection did like. irreversible damage to his psyche I won't even lie.

Here's an excerpt from that thread, my friend's writing is first and the second is mine:

Then, after he passed out, Soap stuck around and sat by his side until he woke up again, which he latched onto as a sign of them actually caring.

And what's sad is he would've been fine staying in this ridiculously toxic mockery of a friendship, if only they were being honest with him; when he finally found out Soap was lying—remember, they're in for impersonation, and he'd spent the whole game believing they were Josephine—which led him to questioning all their behavior, snapping, and killing them. (He regretted this almost immediately as they still had an iron tight grip on his psyche, but there wasn't much to be done about it)

In the aftermath of the murder, both of their dirty laundry was forcibly aired. Patryck had to confess to basically everything he'd done wrong in the past—which is a lot, I can't stress how flawed this guy is—and Soap's status as a lying fraud was revealed post mortem. Seeing everyone hate him—and hating himself so strongly—Patryck came to the conclusion that he was an inherently bad person and that trying to change would be impossible. He was promptly executed for his crimes and died miserably.

Here's an excerpt from his final monologue:

(Real quick I have to say, Joey I know you get post notifs for my blog so if you—or anyone else from the server, spectators included—are reading this post, STOP RIGHT NOW! I'm about to spoil some stuff, and it'll ruin the final few chapters of the game if you know. So close this tab. Got it? Just come back when the game ends if you wanna read my incessant rambling)

Okay, so I know what you're thinking now: "Bio, this is an interesting dynamic and all, like, there's definitely something compelling about a guy who usually hurts others having his toxic traits turned against him by a con artist until he reaches his breaking point, but... this really doesn't match up with the art you've been making."

And you're right! It doesn't! Because all the shit from the game is just the beginning. It's where the brainrot starts, but there's more. Because get this: the killing game took place in a simulation, meaning now that they've died and woken back up in the real world, they have to navigate the aftermath of all the shit they pulled and realize that, after everything they did, nobody else likes them—and for better or worse, they're all they have now.

And... Patryck still wants to be their friend, because he'd rather get hurt than be alone.

Him killing Soap evened out the power dynamic somewhat. Now Soap knows not to fuck with him too much, and he knows she's a liar—knows who she really is—which makes it easier to avoid being blindsided by their bullshit. They're on an even playing field and can keep each other in check.

So they're just stuck in a room now in shitty plastic chairs with nothing to do but talk to each other. Man, it's palpably awkward, but they're able to reach this mutual understanding because, the thing is, when everything's said and done, they're really similar. They both need other people around to function, they're both afraid of ending up alone, they're both toxic to be around, and they're both dependent on pretending to be something they're not—for Soap it was pretending to be Josephine, and for Pat it was pretending to be "cool" so other people liked him more. But, their end goals with this diverge. Pat wants to drop the artifice as soon as he can, whereas Soap clings to the lies desperately and uses them as a defense mechanism. Pat’s desperate to be known and know others; Soap is desperate to hide away.

Regardless, now that it's been stripped away, Soap's forced to be genuine and vulnerable for the first time—she's never opened up to anyone before, but she's got no other choice if she doesn't want to be alone; he just wants to know her better, and it's scary for her.

But one of the key differences between Pat and Soap is their underlying worldview & how that affects their behavior and decision making. Where Pat is highly emotional, Soap makes it a point to prevent feelings from playing a factor at all. Pat killed Soap because he felt betrayed, but if Soap were to kill him, it would’ve been because they thought it through and doing so somehow benefited them.

It’s Patryck’s very feelings-oriented mindset that allowed Soap to hurt him so badly in the game; he needed someone to vent to, needed someone to show him affection, and they were able to take advantage of it since he’s easily placated by some kind words and a hug or two. Now that they’re out, though, and Pat’s her equal rather than her victim, he’s able to use that same mindset to disarm Soap completely and tear through their walls because they’re so highly logical and borderline anti-feelings that they don’t even expect him to be so earnest with them, let alone know how to react.

This head vs heart contrast between them is most clearly illustrated in their reactions to hearing that the other party doesn’t want to lose them, even after everything.

When Pat hears this, his reaction is nothing but relief. He doesn't even question their intentions when saying this, despite knowing the manipulation they're capable of. He's just happy to be wanted.

But when Soap hears what is, essentially, the same sentiment, they frame it differently, skeptical as to whether or not he's telling the truth and, as seen in one of the previous screenshots thinking, "He wants to use her, too, huh? Maybe this is what being lucky feels like." as if the baseline, even in genuine friendships, is taking advantage of each other, which is why they find it so terrifying that he wants to be close to her.

And Patryck's scared too, but he disregards it completely because he's much more willing to open himself up to being hurt if it means there's a chance at something real, at being cared for. His reply is natural:

So we finally get it. Hand in unlovable hand.

It's this insane mix of brutality and tenderness. Desperation and need. It's raw. It's emotional. It's a little pathetic, too. These two people who have hurt each other so terribly now have no choice but to be there for each other and, in a weird way, complete each other, since neither of them feel whole anymore; they click into place in the worst way possible, but it's so bad that it almost loops back around to being sweet. They're awful. They're wildly co-dependent. They're everything. They're driving me insane.

In the words of my friend: "They're therapist and patient and cat and mouse and victim and killer and also they are friends. by god they are fucking friends despite it all."

Since they've both lost their entire social lives, have nothing outside of each other, and nowhere else to go, becoming roommates is a natural decision, which is how we get to this domestic mess where their fucked up nature blends into something casual and expected. They bring out the worst in each other but, simultaneously, nullify a lot of their toxic traits; Soap's lying and manipulation is reduced to something he can easily deflect, and Pat's clingy, emotionally dependent nature isn't a problem for them, since they like having someone who relies on them a bit. Since they've both traumatized each other, they can also one up each other pettily with jokes about what they did in the simulation, IE "I wish I killed you for real", "Don't make me shock you more", etc.

Patryck still has potential to improve, but it's in Soap's best interest to prevent him from doing so, and he's so reliant on their company that the thought doesn't occur to him. Staying shitty with them is way, way easier than improving anyway. In a way it's kind of freeing to just admit he's terrible and have someone who will never leave him no matter what—who he'll never leave either.

And basically we've just been talking about and ruining our brains over these two nonstop. It's so bad, you don't even understand, we've made not one, but three separate playlists for them.

There is, of course, the in-game playlist for the terrible power dynamic when Soap was just ruining Pat's brain and emotionally manipulating him nonstop.

Then there's the playlist for the night of the murder, since Pat killing Soap has a distinct vibe that doesn't fit into each other two.

And, lastly, my favorite of the playlists, the one we made for whatever the fuck they've got going in post-game.

Then, just when you think it's over. When you think the brain rot ends. THERE'S STILL MORE, BECAUSE IT'S NOT JUST A SIMULATED KILLING GAME. IT'S ALSO A FUCKING TIME LOOP.

Everyone has been forced through multiple rounds of the killing game, and their memories are wiped before they're sent in again, meaning the truth with their current dynamic is that they might fucking forget it all, pain and tenderness alike, the understanding they've finally achieved might amount to nothing, and they know it. There's infinite potential for past dynamics, there's grief and anxiety over what they've lost and can no longer recall, but what's most important to them is what they have right here and right now. And they just have to grapple with the fact that they could lose it!

WHAT THE FUCK! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO COPE WITH THAT!

And then just to cap off this borderline essay, here's the summary of everything, my friend and I's magnum opus: The Patsoap Iceberg. (which is essentially just a TL;DR)

[tastyykpop]

[ᴡᴇʟʟ ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅɪᴅɴᴛ ᴋɪʟʟ ʜɪᴍ]

Pairings: mafia boss!jaehyun x reader

♡𝑠𝑚𝑢𝑡♡

Warnings: dom!jaehyun, brat!reader, yandere themes, orgasm denial, slight edging (like really slight), thigh slapping, ropes, vibrator, punishment kinda, creampie, unprotected sex (stay safe 🙏)

The glass in Jaehyuns hand shattered as he saw another man approach you. He was beyond pissed. Mostly at you honestly. You were basically letting it happen because to you, this was all fun and games.

It shouldn't be though.

Jaehyun was a dangerous man. Someone you really shouldn't be around and someone who had a lot of power, over anything and everyone. Most people were terrified of him and only idiots would dare to speak out of line. And if they were lucky, maybe, just maybe they'd make it out alive.

It all happened when you came to this bar for a good drink and a slight buzz. But here, there was always someone hitting on you. This someone happened to be Jaehyun. It was the first time you met him too. Unfortunately, like the idiot you were (and still are), you talked back to him. It wasnt because you were trying to be rude, but instead you were fed up with the way he was acting towards you. The small brushes on the shoulder and the hand on your knee was getting on your nerves. But what really annoyed you were his comments. Not realising who he was and the power he had, you got angry and gave him back handed comments.

You only stopped when you felt a sting to your thigh.

Luckily for you it was only a slap. Not a knife or a bullet. Jaehyun was never this gentle.

Everytime after that, you would still come back to the bar, in your usual seating and Jaehyun would always be there. He even remembered your favorite drink after the first few nights. How sweet. But now, he was seated away from you with a group of men, watching your every move since he couldnt be with you at the moment.

"Baby that dress looks so pretty on you." The guy sitting next to you commented. His tongue swiping over his lips to coat them in his own saliva.

"Hmm thanks." You smiled, knowing that an angry Jaehyun was watching you like a hawk from across the bar.

The man's hand began to slither up your thigh, dragging his hand up and down. It was nothing like Jaehyuns rough, yet loving hands.

"I want to get to know you more." You turned your head to face the man and raised an eyebrow. "Come home with me."

"Sorry, but I'm gonna have to say no." You took a quick swig of your drink and smiled.

"Come on baby. It'll be worth your time." The man took your hands into his and brought them to his lips.

Jaehyun was going to kill someone today.

"Im sorry," you pulled your hand away, giggling, "but I said no." The man was still relentless, grabbing your hand and placing it on his bulge. Your eyes lit up and you searched around the room to see if anyone was seeing what was going on, stopping on your boyfriend's cold eyes.

Jaehyun got up from his seat, walking towards you. Your hand pulled away like lightning. A groan coming from the man next to you. Panic filled your body as you knew someone was going to get killed, or injured.

An angry Jaehyun is not a good Jaehyun. Especially if someone touched his girlfriend. And he let that go too far.

"Whats my pretty girl doing?" Jaehyun pulled your hair to the side and lightly kissed your neck. It was odd hearing such a soft voice come out of Jaehyun, yet you could feel how pissed he was.

"I-i was just talking..." His hands grabbed your waist, digging his nails deep into your side. Jaehyun wasnt an idiot, but you tried.

"And who the fuck are you?" The man asked. You actually forgot he was still there. But he wasn't going to be for long, Jaehyun ripped out a gun and pointed it at the man before making sure the safety was off.

"The real question is who are you?"

"I-i..." the man stuttered, obviously threatened by the weapon in your boyfriends hand.

"I dont like waiting." Jaehyun cocked the gun.

"I-im no one s-sir my apologies." The man walked away as quickly as he could from the both of you. Jaehyun snickering at how pathetic he was.

"Im gonna killed him for touching you."

"No, you wont. You can't always hurt someone who talks or touches me."

"Dont talk back to me, im not in the mood." You got up from the bar stool and walked with Jaehyun to his car. A very expensive one at that.

"I dont care if your in the mood stop acting like a bitch." Your sparky comment took all of Jaehyuns power to not bend you over and spank you in public.

"Get in the car Y/N."

"No." Crossing your arms over your chest, you turned and walked away. That set Jaehyun off.

You were suddenly in the backseat of his car, your face pushed against the seat and your ass in the air. The dress you were wearing was barely covering anything anymore.

"Listen here you pathetic little slut," he whisped in your ear, "if i tell you to get in the fucking car you listen, understand?"

You tried to get out of the grip he had on you, but it was no use. It just earned you a smack.

"Stop moving and answer me."

"Yes." A sigh left your mouth as he let go of you and walked to the drivers seat, starting the car. Leaving you in the back flustered.

"Come on pretty girl you can take it."  Jaehyun was currently fucking you with a vibrator. The vibrations sending you over the edge as he kept moving it in and out at a slow pace. You grabbed his arm and dug your nails deep into him, hoping that he'd stop punishing you and fuck you for real.

"P-please.." You begged as you squirmed on the bed from all the edging he was doing.

Jaehyun ignored you and picked up his pace. The room was filled with a mix or screaming, moaning, and wet sounds, just how he likes it.

He pulled you in for a rough kiss, teeth clashing with each other. The rougher he was, the more passionate he was with you.

"Im gonna cum." You moaned out, pulling away from the deep kiss, having enough of all the toying from the man above you.

"No youre not." He ripped the toy out of you, ruining your orgasm.

"Aw look at that baby, guess you won't cum again for another month."

You glared at the man as he sat there with a playful smirk before he moved on top of you, leaning down to bite and suck on your neck, leaving purple and blue marks on your skin as a whine left your lips. You wanted more, but knowing Jaehyun you probably weren't going to get it until he was satisfied enough. But you knew he was going to give up sooner or later. The boner brushing against your thigh was not going to go unnoticed by you.

"Stop...teasing..." You tried saying as Jaehyun moved back up to kiss you again.

"Why should i?" He looked up with an eyebrow raised, "You werent exactly the nicest to me. So why should I be nice to you?"

You frowned at the older man ready to talk back again, but the sudden cold hand cupping your hot entrance stopped you. The lower half of your body was almost grinding on his hand for more friction. Jaehyun noticed and smirked at your attempts to get off.

Smack.

"Dont even try that." He kept the same agonizing smirk on his face, giving him a more sadistic look than before. Your movement stopped with a pout and you watched Jaehyun take his hand away from your core.

"Then ill just do it myself." You pretty much just pushed Jaehyun away from you and attempted to please yourself, but you knew damn well it wasn't nearly as good as Jaehyun himself.

"Look at the pretty girl trying to act all tough." Jaehyun cooed at you, taking your hand away from your core and pinning your hands above your head. "Have i not been punishing you good enough? Is that why your acting even more bratty than usual?"

"No," you shook your head at your boyfriend, "its the fact you going to kill someone just because they touched me."

"Well i have a newsflash for you princess," Jaehyun leaned closer to your ear and whispered, "theyre already dead."

"Y-youre insane Jaehyun..."

"But thats why you love me." You watched as Jaehyun got off of you, moving to find something in the very large closet you both shared. When he turned back, you expected another toy he was going to tease you with, but no. He had ropes in his hand as he walked towards you with the same sadistic smirk that you hated yet loved.

He tied you up effortlessly, only giving him a few hard times but that only ended with a few smacks to your thigh.

Jaehyun stood back looking at your naked figure, a small blush painted your cheeks as you felt small under his gaze. Yes, Jaehyun was rather proud of what he was looking at. The beautiful hickeys and bite marks that littered your thighs, neck, and chest. The red hand prints on your thighs wrapping around to your ass. And the crescent shapes in your hips from his nails digging into your skin. He loved all of it.

You could hear the sound of clothes dropping to the floor, but didnt bother turning your head, too embarrassed to look at him now that you felt more exposed with the ropes holding your wrists to the bed post.

"Spread your legs for me princess." The sound of Jaehyuns voice brought you back to reality. You looked at him, his eyes staring into yours waiting for you to do as you were told. But did you didnt move. Just adding more fuel to his anger. "I said spread your fucking legs." He growled. You did so a bit too slowly for his liking and it only ended up with him forcefully spreading them himself.

A quiet gasp left your lips watching as he began to slowly grind into you, making you feel his bare cock against your pussy. Your sighs and moans filled the room, jaehyun watched closely, taking in every whine and movement you made. He pulled back and you waited for him to continue grinding but no, he was inside you without warning, not giving you anytime to adjust.

Jaehyuns fast pace shook the bed and your wrists were chaffing against the ropes. Moans erupted from your throat from the pain and pleasure Jaehyun was giving you.

"Fuck, Jaehyun...."

Jaehyun moved his hand from your hips up to your throat giving it a tight squeeze, "Such a dirty mouth." His hips snapped forward making your eyes roll to the back of your head and more cuss words were choked out. Earning a disappointed head shake from your boyfriend.

The lewd sounds of your bodies filled the room as he continued fucking you into oblivion. If someone walked in, they would be sure to have the image of you being fucked by Jaehyun with his fingers in your mouth and hand wrapped around your throat all while being tied up, stuck in their head for a few months.

"You love being a brat huh?" Jaehyun started whilst making eye contact, "Cause you know you'll be fucked like the pathetic slut you are. Am i right princess?"

He took his fingers out of your mouth to let you speak, "Y-yes." You moaned out. A quiet chuckle rang through your ears.

"Needy little brat..." His pace was faster yet sloppy and you knew he was close. The bed rocked and the sound of skin against skin filled your ears. Jaehyuns grip on your throat not planning on letting go as you struggled for breath.

"Jaehyun....p-please I'm gonna-"

"If you even dare cum ill beat your ass." That changed your thoughts about even bothering to let go, knowing he wasn't playing around.

Just as you felt like holding it in wasnt enough, Jaehyun was already one step ahead and came inside you, riding out his orgasm with a low groan.

Jaehyun pulled out, removing the ropes from your wrists. They were as red as your thighs and they stung too the touch. Jaehyun, being the nice man he is, even though he was still slighlty mad, took the time to give you after care, applying a cream to your wrists and butt just so the redness would calm down and cleaned up the cum dripping down your thighs.

After all that he laid beside you, embracing you in his arms and kissing the top of your head. "My pretty girl." He muttered against your hair before the both of you drifted off to sleep. Although you were still angry that you couldnt cum.

[larrythefloridaman]

Y'all like your deities with or without the shell?

Under the readmore is aaaaaaaaall color god observations and musings based on them, because I am studying to become the world's Premiere Chromatheologian and RGB Understander so under the cut is pretty much Oops! All Spoilers! up to the most recent episode of season 3.

Apparently Universal Color God Attributes:

Damage to their domain hurts them, but fixing the issue, or lashing out by using their powers destructively, can help them to repair the damage.

If they sustain enough damage, it can temporarily paralyze them and send them into a strengthened but 'exposed' state (chartreuse's spirit activation in the last fight of 19) and further damage after that will activate a failsafe, which is unique by domain but seemingly designed to give them the chance to balance things, but can get… very out of hand or backfire depending on circumstances. (see: cobalt’s failsafe sending mark's universe into a never-ending apocalyptic war because word of the cure for death became too widespread for the killing urge failsafe to affectively balance anything because every side could simply revive their fallen.)

Chartreuse's failsafe is something of a stopped time bubble quarantine where processes that require the passing of time cannot complete, allowing her the time to wear down the offending party to beat them to death or plan around finishing them.

Cobalt's is inciting war, the casualties serving to balance the scale. I'm not sure we know Crimson's yet- he's never taken enough direct damage without doing damage to compensate in order to trigger it, although i dont remember season one well enough to recall if any of the universe stuff in it tracks with the pattern bc season one is a bit fucky

Connected in a fashion that allows them to simply Sense the overall status of the others to some extent, although they don't know Why theyre in the state theyre in without asking (chartreuse [and by extension, folk, presumably on her information] confronting crimson via crimsonaut for pretending to be dead, Cobalt confronting both his siblings about how they are handling their duties improperly but not knowing about Folk. He knew about the constants deaths because hes a death god, duh, but he didnt use their names like crimson did, possibly implying they're erased upon death so thoroughly that only crimson and the constants can really recall a shattered constants' existence, not even the other guardians.)

Abilities of the guardians can be replicated by mortals through three apparent methods- through machines (dimensional bus, the time machine, presumably J0hn's part in Sephiroth's resurrection,) simply through advanced enough individual skill (Home MD curing death, potentially Dantoinette's universe portal travel, maybe Genwun's sped up time bubble that evolved them into Genfour? although that could very well have just been an illusion and theyre just like, a fuckin theater kid that was doing pretend character development for the Bit or something given GenFive turned out to be a zoroark) or through stealing some of the power of the relevant god (Dr. Order stealing Chartreuse's power, Dani maybe having stolen some of Crimson's when she beat his ass. Dani's one woman universal travel is like, wicked ambiguous)

Cobalt:

Can seemingly perceive or act through any living material. (The Tree. Cobalt instructed Larry to slap his hand on that tree, that shit glowed and he had a new deal tattoo without Cobalt ever having been physically present)

Can influence the resurrected by giving them a killing urge. Represented by an aberrant brainwave and a ringing in the undead's heads. This doesnt appear to be direct control- as the Grunk could clearly restrain himself from killing people that genuinely didn't deserve it (like nightly and cha cha, who WERE grunk event targets but not fatally so. Nagito was a crimson thing so it really doesn't count here. God poor grunk his life really is just a constant plaything in the hands of the gods huh) and Sephiroth very much had personal motivation to want to kill Folk. failsafe activates this ability on the scale of war.

Deals. The extent of what Cobalt can do with these is unclear but Iggy's god powers were taken from him as his part in the deal so what he can take isn't limited to physical things or things obviously related to his domain.

Weaknesses:

Deals. While this ability is impressive his preference for making deals for those that offend against his domain is potentially very exploitable- Larry's knowledge of the cure for death is, if word of it were to ever get out beyond Larry, wildly dangerous for this dimension, so technically the safest thing for the iron-fisted cobalt to do would be to nip the problem in the bud and get rid of him. But, fascinatingly, that wasn't even put on the table, the first thing Cobalt does is threaten J0hn, prompting Larry to make a deal. While Cobalt enforces death, he also doesn't like unnecessary death, and Larry demonstrably knows how to keep a secret for the good of the world even at great cost to himself and Cobalt is aware of this- easily clarifying to Larry the aberrant thing endangering the universe wasn't his timeloop business. So while he's clearly not letting his resurrection fuckery go unpunished, he's being pretty merciful when he doesn't have to be and from a strictly, brutally pragmatic perspective probably shouldn't be.

His control over the undead manifests as a ringing and an aberrant brainwave trackable by J0hn's equipment, and could probably therefore be accounted for and circumvented? J0hn has, wisely, largely sworn off fucking with people's brains after the sephiroth fiasco went So Wrong, So Very Wrong, Oh God Oh Fuck Someone Cool Almost Died, but if he hadn't, and if J0hn let his dislike for authority and keeping Larry safe outweigh reason like he let safety, spite and comedic value outweigh good ethical sense when reprogramming sephiroth, in theory Mr. 'hacked a time machine for breakfast?' could. y'know. probably do it. what is a god's authority to an anarchist, what better to challenge life and death than the cold and eternal machine, you get the point its a fun scenario

Olive Garden Breadsticks and Small Cute Dogs, apparently

Chartreuse's:

Time Clones: taps into parallel timelines to retrieve alternate versions of herself to utilize.

Time Travel: what it says on the tin. Travel to the past creates painful splits in the prime timeline, but through careful action and traveling back into the past, these can be weaved into a time loop. A split from the timeline is a wound, and a successful timeloop is the surgical scar it can become with attentive care, to use a medical metaphor. Carefully closed and healing. Keeping Folk here is essentially akin to chartreuse pulling out her stitches on the initial incision.

Time Stopping: creates a space wherein things that take time to complete cannot complete, where things can move, but everything within is in a perfect unchanging stasis until the bubble drops. This is the form her failsafe takes.

Timeline Creation: can create timelines from scratch.

Can fuse alternate timeline versions of the same individual to allow them to coexist. (Ryan's confirmed in the discord that Dantoinette experienced both failures in 20, because Chartreuse fused the two instances of her to save the post-raid instance from fading. Could... theoretically do this to Folk and save herself the pain, but while Folk and Therapuppy are the same person, there's seven years and untold amounts of difference deriving from the time and circumstance between them and the inherent cognitive dissonances that would result from attempting that would be wicked fucked up to inflict, and that's assuming there isn't some reason that it wouldn't be possible anyway. while the two Danis had like. A day or so's difference between them, so she could be safely fused with the only dissonant thing being that she remembers both being too slow to prevent order's time escape and beginning to dissipate post-raid, AND losing that fight to her pre-raid. RIP Dani, that perfectionism must be kicking her ass)

Weaknesses:

Unwilling to use her powers destructively in her pursuit of domain repair and thereby much easier to damage to the point of paralyzing her, making her particularly vulnerable to Power Theft

Morally Optimistic. At one point in 19, she briefly justifies Crimson's shitty evil actions to herself after experiencing for herself how Wack the kerfuffleverse is firsthand, ("and all he did was kill a couple people!" Chartreuse. Honey.) and when she fights Crimsonaut she seems to actually believe for a second that he's actually worried about her when Crimson asks if she's okay after he beats her. Additionally, as D+, she concerns herself with trying to understand doctor order's motive, and after Larry defeats Order, he makes a point of confirming she feels no remorse before making his request for what Chartreuse does with her, and appeals to the idea of letting Order fulfill her desire to be a god in a way which isn't a problem for anyone and Chartreuse is more than happy to oblige under these conditions after what Larry's done for everybody. Then immediately threatens to evaporate him for playfully teasing her about having a crush on folk. Fucked up a little bit

Crimson's:

Universe Shifting: Travel between universes.

Universe Correction: appears to replace an aberrant individual with the 'correct' version of themselves for that universe, presumably sending them back to their own. (Mario from super mario was universe corrected, but still seemingly exists in wario form as evidenced by smashup kerfuffle, and was simply temporarily replaced with his corrected universe counterpart. But like. The dimensional bus system is still active crimbo doing the Put That Thing Back Where It Came From Or So Help Me routine aint gonna work if they can come back with a shrug and bus fare. you're fighting the symptoms without treating the problem)

Universal Constants:

Three individuals per universe that serve as the pillars which stabilize said universe, created by absorbing red orbs Crimson creates. Becoming a constant grants power, but also makes the constant fragile, and death wipes them from the face of the multiverse, only crimson, those he's possessed and the other constants seemingly able to recall they ever existed, although some physical evidence is still left behind (Larry's record of Nagito's death, which is just as redacted as everything else relating to him but still is very much something Larry has. Kind of a Voidfish adventurezone type beat ironically enough? Taako really has seen all this shit before no wonder he peaced tf out)

To counterbalance the weaknesses the constants have, they have a sort of spidey-sense to alert them to danger, and an intrinsic bonded connection to their fellow constants, and additionally, Crimson apparently doesn't suffer any pain from the death of constants or the structural instability of a universe.

Possession: what it says on the tin! Seemingly can only be done with permission to living things- none of crimson's direct hosts seem to have entered that agreement unwillingly, Valentine lost a bet, Hamburger and Crimsonaut have been by all evidence intentional allies to Crimson- but electronics are fair game, as seen with The Guy's suit. Kinda curious how that rule applies to bitches that are half and half, like J0hn or the clonebot gang, as its unclear whether The Guy's suit was yoinkable without permission because it was mechanical or because its not sentient. could go either way but if it's the former that's potentially very frightening

Fusion: Two individuals from alternate universes can be fused into one shared body which can take on aspects of either depending on which is currently in control. (possibly allows someone who traveled into a given universe to become a fixed resident there without it being an issue for Crimson, whose job is to prevent interdimensional travel?) Monday Mark and possibly T.O.M. are our main examples.

Corruption:

Unpleasant As Hell and can even kill you instead of changing you if you cant handle it.

turns the corrupted individual into a twisted exaggeration of themself, allows them supernatural control over their shape, and makes them very difficult- if not impossible by traditional means- to kill, based on Garfield.

Subjects them to control by Crimson, but can be exorcised of this influence just like crimson's direct hosts can, although the supernatural changes to their physiology are seemingly permanent, judging from Shantae.

Notable Weaknesses:

Exorcism can be performed to free a possessed or corrupted individual of Crimson's influence. Its unclear how exorcism works/is learned in CPUK, but confirmed exorcists: dantoinette and yung papaya's snake dad, confirmed non-exorcists: folk

The universal constant orbs are physical objects so they are Very Stealable and they grant a power boost so theres literally an Incentive to beat his ass for anybody who wants to be strong and either doesnt know or doesn't care about the whole 'getting erased when you die' part

Crimson has lots of tools to create pawns, but all of them have drawbacks. Corruption could kill a potential pawn, possession generally seems to require permission, and he has no control over the constants' choices and actions

Manipulative bitch's highest stat is charisma and it shows. This motherfucker is selling snake oil. If he was mortal rather than a Whole Entire God he'd make an excellent ineffectual saturday morning cartoon supervillain and i think everyone, including him, would be happier for it, ngl

Something interesting ive realized that likely wasnt fully intentional, is that a lot of Dr. Order's creations, considering her motive, can kind of be sorted by a color god it appears to be a crude attempt at mimicking the abilities of. My Grunk is a poorly executed resurrection, the clonebot gang vs chartreuse's timeclones (this one deserves special mention because Chartreuse used this shitty attempted mimicry to her advantage with D+, very smart and ironic play, excellent job Treusy,) spirits are somewhat similar to universal constant orbs (orbs which can be absorbed to grant power, but which have physical repercussions- key differences being that spirits require activation and grow stronger while attuning to a user without being used, and having far less severe drawbacks, taking a heavy toll on the body, but only once they've worn off and without the risk of wiping yourself from the face of existence,) and she also augmented Perfect Spriteman and Larry, which kind of track as crude imitations of Crimson's corruption!

Garfield was an acerbic cat who loved food and hated mondays, now its an actively malicious ever-hungry amorphous entity whose only weakness is monday and whose only consistency in form is 'cat-like.'

Shantae was (to my extremely limited understanding of shantae,) a friendly heroic type who had to introduce herself often, and she became something akin to a biblically accurate angel that can *only* introduce herself.

The Grunks a tough but sweet and supportive single dad with stage presence and a tendency to fly off the handle when he or his family are slighted, and now he gets so hype in the audience when his son does well that he bursts into flames and ascends and we get random grunk events along with the associated murder charges when he gets mad and the target sucks enough that he doesn't hold himself back from killing them.

Perfect Spriteman and Larry fit the trend of exaggeration of already present traits- Spriteman fucking loves sprite and became something that only thinks about sprite, and Larry the Florida Man, characterized from minute one by unpredictability and who spent his first matches in the series pre-shapeshifter transformation staying alive keeping stocks for Shockingly Long even despite getting seventh, became literally physically random as well as developing the ability to regenerate, albeit with the ability to feel pain normally very much intact, unlike Garfield just... Soaking up damage like its nothing in his pursuit of Jon. The fact that Arbuckle legit defeated Garfield, even temporarily, is terrifyingly impressive honestly that dude is fucking built different for being so chronically bland

i dont think they're actually corrupted in any meaningful way we have to worry about, to be fully clear, Spriteman was cured with fucking antacids, i simply think they could be a fucked up attempt at making something that kind of seems like it from a functional standpoint, from the wannabe god doctor that brought us green clones whose only fundamental association with time was accelerated aging and who thought an actively rotting corpse thats just reanimated enough that it can throw hands was as good as curing death

[blogenana]

Doctor Who - Earthshock Live Review

So I have my crisps and lemonade and im ready to continue my journey through classic who - idk why I just started live blogging it...

• People are climbing

• So they've found something- an alien I'm assuming- why do humans always tamper with things we shouldn't

• Oh they haven't found something theyre looking for people

• I hate how classic who drags on so slowly

• Sinister music

• 'probably nothing" foreshadowing...

• Okay get to the killing already

• YES FINALLY HELLO DOCTOR

• Wow I forget they must have their own rooms in the Tardis

• Lots of books in Adrics room

• "why should that interest me" ooh okay Adric getting a bit sassy

• Why's he fed up

• looool "I'm tired of being considered a joke" "why am I being constantly teased" maybe because you're annoying and you make sexist remarks?

• oh chill

• The doctor don't have time to deal with this

• aww okay Adric being jealous that Nyssa and Tegan get more attention from the doctor than him is kinda cute

• 'I give you my word' 'just as you gave your word to Tegan" okaaaaay go off (spoiler alert) ik Adric dies in this because I saw a spoiler so this is very sad foreshadowing that the doctor will break his word to Adric about making time for him- kinda sad

• I hate the celery stick

• okay Adric kick off

• Doctor can't take criticism which is interesting because the last time he was probably ever blamed for something was One with Barbara and Ian. I don't remember any companion ever criticizing him like this before

• 'Well it can wait' you'll regret that

• "I'm tired of being an outsider" this would make sense if we had seen him being an outsider before - in my opinion Tegan is the outsider as she's new and not as mathematically advanced as the others. also I would say that Adric is the closest to the doctor out of all 3 so his point isn't really valid

• I guess this is the writers way of making adrics death more tragic

• ooh Adrics theme

• I swear he was an outsider amongst his own people too

• 'the tools would go missing" why do these people never take the hint

• forgot Adric was from e space- tbh what was the doctors plan when he did demand to go home eventually- did he wanna travel with him till he died?

• "e space is another universe, there isn't a taxi service that goes back and forth"

• Romana mention!

• "im not waiting around while you plot the course to your own destruction" the doctor has never experienced a companion death before - also foreshadowing

• "you know I think since his regeneration he's become decidedly immature" this is funny also like 4 was soooo mature

• I like Adric and Five's relationship

• the actor who plays Adric has gone better

• Nyssa is the most mature out of this entire group

• "breathe deeply and relax" why is Tegan a meditation instructer out of nowhere

• the doctor didn't take much convincing

• lol the doctor bopping Tegans nose was cute

• Ooh Dinosaur bones

• let me guess - the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs was an alien spaceship or aliens killed them

• Someone screamed

• Ooh yeah she be dead

• Okay the villains look like they're wearing gimp costumes

• Reminds me of American Horror Story Murder House & the leather monster

• Aah doctor who giving a lesson on how the dinosaurs were killed. We love a show that educates

• Did I mention how much I hate the celery stick because I hate it honestly whose idea was it

• Bro chill why is this man grabbing the doctor like that what he do

• Calm the fuck down mate

• Gimp people be shooting

• Okay they may be androids but they'll always be gimp people to me

• Android vision

• CYBERMEN!!!! DAMN

• Why they gotta hit us with the plot twist like that i wasn't ready

• The Cybermen looks sad

• Hehehe the face is funny

• Gimps be strong

• Why do the Cybermen sound muffled

• I find it more creepy when they have human voices than Robots because it makes It more real that these machines have humans in them

• hHaven't seen them in some time

• I love Tegans sarcasm

• I'm cracking up at the Cybermen voice

• 1 gimp down 1 to go

• tThe gimps be dead

• 'prepare to activate the devise" dun dun DUN

• Damn the Cybermen be skinny

• I'm bored i want doctor/cybeman action

• Okay it's getting intense

• Cybermen be SHOOK

• "cyber technology is too advanced for earthlings" figure it out then mate

• He's recognised the Tardis

• THE BEST DIALOGUE "TIME LORDS, BUT THEYRE FORBIDDEN TO INTERFERE"

• THIS ONE CALLS HIMSELF THE DOCTOR, AND DOES NOTHING BUT INTERFERE

• YESS PREVIOUS DOCTORS VS CYBERMEN

• I'm geeking out

• Imma watch this bit a few times hang on

• Aah I loved that it was so cool bloody hell I'm a nerd

• The 2nd Cybermen looked shocked while he was watching

• "have you no emotions sir" classic

• "Adric do you have a moment" "I'm hungry" Okay I like him in this one he's a mood. Why is he suddenly likeable the ep he dies

• "all part of the daily routine" see what I mean

• Well your daily routine Is gonna end soon

• He doesn't wanna go home!!

• Doctor is relieved it's cute

• Ah this is sad

• It would be easier if i didn't know he was gonna die

• Cos I do like their relationship

• Okay we're being introduced to new people

• "you're beginning to bore me" the writers knew

• I'm trying really hard to concentrate I've zoned out

• Ah the doctor has got my attention "I want to announce my presence, see what the reaction is" course

• aaaand the doctor is caught and he's being accused for murder again

• Don't they have cctv just check it

• "apprehended why can't he just say caught" me in English classes

• 'even under the threat of death he has the arrogance of a time lord"

• I thought Cybermen had no emotions but this Cybermen just said he wants the doctor to suffer for their past defeats - revenge is an emotion which is v ironic

• Hh SHIT the Cybermen are walking

• lol tegan " im just a mouth and legs" she's such a mood

• The Cybermen music is cool

• The doctors face when he sees them

• Aah the soldier has betrayed them

• Why is it that whenever there's a women in charge the men who is second can't handle it and goes rogue

• iIt's such a typical trope

• The dialogue for the doctor is great

• "you know them"

• "oh yes, we go back a long way"

• Haha "I'm surprised they didn't mention me" 'well perhaps you overestimate your importance" "oh I doubt it" doctor is and will always be that bitch

• The doctor is doing doctory things

• "that's very clever" "oh it is" the doctor bragging about how clever he is starts here

• Damn tegan she just shot a Cyberman

• Flashback to "the doctor makes people into weapons"

• Finally the doctor vs Cybermen showdown

• Lol I knew they would kill the betrayer

• "our records indicate that you have a fondness for earth" (especially earth girls)

• "this time we shall succeed in destroying the earth" no you won't mate

• Ah the Cybermen coming out of plastic Wrap is a throwback to the 2nd Doctor Cybermen story

• Tegan looks like a badass with the gun

• So they're destroying the leaders of various planets before they destroy the Cybermen

• Tegan has no idea what she's doing

• I love how Five says the most savage lines with the most polite tone

• He could tear you down and look like he's complimenting you

• Tegan has been caught

• Cyberman in the Tardis is weird

• 'who is this woman' - 'no-one of consequence' - 'thanks a lot - gotta love Tegan

• Okay wow that scene between the doctor and the Cyberman about emotions gave me goose bumps what a thrilling scene

• The Cybermen has a point- he can control the doctor because he has emotions

• I'll never get tired of the debate about emotions between them because it genuinely feels like the Cyberman defend the concept of having no emotions to defend their existence

• Five looks hot when he's defending emotions

• Fuck they need to leave Adric behind

• Shit I'm getting nervous

• His theme is playing!

• The Doctor looks conflicted

• Adric leaving his hand out after the doctor let go...

• "I'll see you soon" this is the actors best performance because you can see in his eyes he knows he won't

• The Doctor has never had a companion die before so he walks away without looking back

• "it will once you start getting rusty" Tegan is funny

• Adric is plotting

• The Cybermen say they have no emotions but forcing Tegan watch her own planet getting destroyed is extremely sadistic

• Clever Adric

• The Earth looks different

• Okay so Adric's cleverness is what gets him killed because he knows he can crack the code

• The Dinosaurs! I knew it!

• Oh crap Earth is safe but Adric doesn't know that

• I think this comes down to Adric wanting the doctors attention and wanting to be the best to have his attention

• The Doctor has his pin!

• Five suffocating and shooting a Cyberman is shocking to see

• Adric whyyyyyy

• This Cyberman walking towards him is bloody persistent

• "Now I'll never know if i was right" such Adric last words

• Id like to believe he was

• Damn.

• The Doctors face. The fact that it could have been avoided if he just left the ship

• Adric is the first companion that died on the Doctor's watch

• Adric died thinking the Earth was going to be destroyed and he could have stopped it

• The credits!! his gold star! the silence! this must have been a shock to the viewers. If i didn't know beforehand through spoilers I would be going crazy

• Earthshock had it's ups and downs, the downs in regards to the pace of the plot however the story was good and the Cybermen were fantastic especially their interactions against the doctor. Tegan and Adric were great. Nyssa didn't really have much to do. Davison was amazing. I liked the writing.

• Also I liked the structural shift of the story to the cave androids to the bomb to the spaceship to dealing with The Cybermen to saving Earth and then to Adrics death

[fixielixie]

i dont see why people are so hesitant to admit that jiang cheng really did spend 13 yrs hunting demonic cultivators and torturing them on the off chance they could be wwx- you picked a quote that does seem pretty ambiguous but its not the only time in the novel its mentioned. jiang cheng himself confesses to doing it, "i should first find an excuse to drag him back and use every possible method to get information out of him. it's impossible for him to not confess anything or give himself away. i've done things like this in the past anyways". and if you still think thats too vague, jin ling also mentions jiang chengs habit of capturing DCs and never letting them go even if theyre innocent "it's not the first time my uncle did such a thing. he had never let any of them go, even if it was possible he caught the wrong ones"

and with these two examples i feel like the only way to properly have proof of jc hunting and killing cultivators would be to blatantly show it in the novel but why would mxtx bother to add that when even just these two interactions give us all the evidence we need to come to that conclusion. im not pulling shit outta my ass just to hate on jiang cheng, this was just the way his own actions were described in the novel but not only himself but also his own nephew.

again, when i was talking about people under the jiang sects protected didnt feel... yanno protected i wasnt /just/ talking about that instants, theres multiple times within the novel where its mentioned that people dont respect the jiang sect because of the way jiang cheng carries himself. even jin ling describes jiang cheng in a way that doesnt particularly scream 'hey im a just leader how isnt slightly deranged in my quest for revenge'. in jin lings own words, he describes "this uncle of his" as always being "cold and dark". "when he spoke, he was willing to show neither mercy nor do good." not exactly a 5 star review for a sect leader. if anything it makes jiang cheng sound like he couldnt give two shits about anything that doesnt fall into his biased perspective or wrong and right.

before jiang cheng is even introduced, mxtx already sets up a very particular image of the kinda leader he is, the type of leader who would exert his power on people below him for the benefit of himself his and his own family "no matter which clan you choose to offend, you shouldn't offend the jiang clan, and no matter which person you choose to offend, you shouldn't offend jiang cheng"

im mostly making this response to fully flesh out my thoughts on jiang cheng and growth. you claim that we cant measure growth because were not in his head but actions can also be used to do this, and because this is a novel and if jiang cheng shows up to say something its probably to drive home a particular point about either his character, wei wuxians character, or the narrative plot as a whole, i feel like i can safely judge his growth based on what i know about how fictional writing works as a whole. and through this, i still firmly believe that jiang cheng is purposefully shown to have not grown at all from the teenager we see him as at the begin to the 30 something we see him as at the end. i actually feel like most dialogue scenes with jiang cheng in it are specifically written to further illustrate this point.

jiang cheng is trapped in a loop of "wwx must die to pay back for his sins" to the point that it wouldnt even matter if he torutured wwx and wen ning for the rest of his life, because in his eyes it would never be enough. he doesnt actually care about wwx paying for his sins, he just wants to punish wwx, "for lotus pier's destruction, jiang cheng thought not only that wei wuxian was responsible, but also that wen ning and lan wangji were responsible too."

if we look at wwxs and jiang chengs first interaction after the fight with the goddess statue, i think the evidence that jiang cheng hasnt learnt anything in the last decade its spelled out pretty clearly here wwx knows how much jc hates being compared to other "no matter how pointless the comparison was. if anyone said that he wasn't as good as someone else, he'd be angered and not think about anything else until he won against that person." and even tho wwx had been dead of 10+ years and out of the jiang sect for even longer, he still knew exactly how jiang cheng would react. this very much implies that jiang cheng hasnt learnt or changed at all from the teenager wwx knew at him, at this stage jiang cheng is in his 30s and has shown zero growth- hell he even parents jin ling in a similar way to how madam yu parented him, i doubt theres many hugs or words of encouragement in jin lings life (actually we know that, because when wwx is nice to jl, he has no idea how to react other than getting upset).

then when jiang cheng captures wwx in qinghe, the first thing he brings up is "have you forgotten the things you said and the promises you made?". hes so stuck on the words wwx said in his teens, and constantly uses them as if wwx swore a blood oath to him, has held onto this promise for nearly two decades when the chance of wwx ever coming back to the jiang sect died when wwx decided to protect the wens. even jiang cheng knew this, he just refused to admit it to himself and continues to hold this against wwx like wwx hadnt already made his own decision. jc puts this broken promise on the same level as the death of his own sister and her husband, even mentioning it first before saying "do you still remember how [jin ling's] parents died?"

jiang chengs biggest problem when it comes to wwx is that he refuses to accept that wwx has his own agency, if wwx isnt 'paying back his debt to the jiang clan' then he has no right to make his own decisions, especially if they go against what jiang cheng wants, and with time it even means that wwx shouldnt be allowed to live if its not the life he 'swore' to jc. its the one thing hes constantly stuck on, that wwx would dare to leave him when he /promised/ to be his subordinate for the rest of time. he also thinks that everything wwx does is a way to get back at him, like wwxs entire existence relies around what jiang cheng thinks of him. saving lwj and jxz in the cave was wwx trying to cause trouble on purpose for the laugh, staying back in the cave was to make jc look bad infront of his dad ect. jc thinks wwx exist just to spite him because he cant deal with the idea that wwx might be happy living his life without him or any of the jiangs, "it was because you played hero and saved Second Young Master Lan, who's standing beside you right now, that the entire Lotus Pier and my parents went down with you." "you're here on purpose to remind me, to remind them."

final thing but about jiang cheng seeing himself as the victim in every situation. after jgy airs out just how much wwxs downfall was planned out for him because he had gotten too powerful, and that most of the time wwx was forced into situations where he couldnt do anything but defend himself. that most of his decisions werent made to spite jc, or to try and seem more powerful to him, or betray him just for the sake of it. when jcs entire narrative of his life, the one in which he clearly thought he had been the most wronged and wwx had been the reason for those wrongs, we have jiang cheng trying to come to terms with the fact that he was Wrong. and that he didnt know about wwxs intentions at all and assumed the worst of him, like everyone else did (even lwj was a victim to this). "you did all the best things, yet every time you do the worst, it's involuntary! forced! with some unspeakable grievances! grievances? you told me nothing, you played me for a fool. just how much fo you owe the jiang sect? am i not supposed to hate you? can i not hate you? why is it that now it's like i'm supposed to have wronged you? why do i have to feel like im a fucking clown all these years? what am i? am i not supposed to hate you?"

look if jiang cheng was written like say mu qing, then i would understand these sorts of debates, but i thought on my first read through that jiang cheng was a side antagonist that you feel a bit sorry for because he was blinded by his hatred that ended up in him being lonely and bitter once the story finished. nothing to me suggests that mxtx intended for him to be any deeper than that, because his character arc would be explored more fully, there would have been progression and growth, and he would have been more important to the main plot line. but because he had barely any of these things, i just dont see why we would act like in canon its any deeper than jiang cheng was shitty because his narrative function is mostly as a comparison to how differently lan wangji treats wwx from the way he was treat but jiang cheng and co in the past.

hrhghrghfg i’ve spent an hour now writing a post about jiang cheng which is like half done, and i still can’t tell if it will set in the oven, but i am :[[[ about the number of posts I’ve tripped across in the last few days about him, complaining about people who like him and want him to have nice things, because he’s their uwu precious tsundere baby with a love language of violence.

That was literally the language in one of them, for the record. ‘love language of violence,’ and now i’m Bothered.

I have snipped like five rambling paragraphs because apparently I cannot shut up or be short-winded about this, gdi

My approximate point is that whether or not you think he’s abusive, whether or not you think he’s done an adequate job of correcting for the trauma of his own childhood, sincerely posting that his “love language is violence” is a fucked up thing to say about someone who almost watched his mother cut off his brother’s hand.

Interestingly, I regularly see discourse about how it’s fucked up for people to stan an abuser (often very loosely defined and/or supported), and never see discourse about whether it’s fucked up for people to stan a character who’s heavily implied to be a torturer, which is usually a lot less ambiguous. But then, maybe, there might be uncomfortable questions about how the fuck does anyone think it’s okay to like Wei Wuxian, a definite torturer, and want him to have nice things :V

(that’s a take i kind of want to see, because sometimes i like heaving a sigh so heavy it makes my chest hurt, but also it wouldn’t be all that novel after the transformers fandom *gestures at large cast consisting of war criminals and tailgate, a regular criminal*)

My point isn’t that Jiang Cheng did nothing wrong. He made some good-faith mistakes, and he did some fucked up shit because he was upset and lashing out. People’s personal lines vary on ‘well sometimes people do fucked up shit’ versus ‘okay these are toxic patterns of behavior’ versus ‘yeah now that is definitely abuse.’ But it’s very… unsettling to me that a character whose own childhood abuse was so heavily emphasized in the narrative (two characters, if we count jgy) is so prone to having fandom seize upon morally ambiguous/unclear/complicated/grey moments and interpret them in the worst possible light. And when Wei Wuxian had a comparably traumatic childhood and bounced out of it less traumatized than expected (partially thanks to a terrible memory), and he comes in for none of the same criticisms as jc or jgy, it feels like he’s being held up as a “““good survivor””” and that just feels extra, extra uncomfortable.

I do kind of get it. We’re in Wei Wuxian’s point of view. The narrative is able to be extra sympathetic to him in a way it isn’t to Jiang Cheng or Jin Guangyao. But also, like I’ve brought up before, the plot of this novel is literally about how framing is critical to how an onlooker perceives a story, how framing is critical to who onlookers define as the hero or the villain, and still we are apparently over here looking at a damaged man at least attempting to avoid passing along the trauma of his childhood, and brushing him off as an abusive asshole whose love language is violence.

[tamiddyinyourcity]

i definitely think i am officially on the "really terrible person, just goddamned awful" roure

and i can either:

apologize for my actions but still cut that fucker off since he was so goddamned disrespectful i swear to god im both cut out for relationships but absolutely terrible at them ending positively man

embrace being a terrible person by just watching a fuckton of mob movies, or tv shows and videos with narcissists, to feel a sense of comfort *instead* of doing something mean and impulsive then feeling chest pains, sweats, and blurry vision

I might apologize.

I still hope he's alright, to an extent. He pissed me the actual fuck off to such an extent that if I had the leg strength for it, I would kick at least six holes in a wall.

But, whatever.

Should I care? I cursed him out to feel good about not letting him shit talk, but now I feel not so good for yknow, being shitty right back. (I could've used better words for my original message ending my friendship for him, but he was salty at me saying the pic thing was 'awkward', [it was and it did kinda hurt ngl but his bitch ass only got 1 singular like, so, good luck to that bitch] and i was getting fed up at the low replies and whatnot.)

Idk. I feel not so great. But also good? Hard to explain.

I feel GOOD that I made him feel bad? But he doesnt feel bad or sorrow for his actions, he just feels bad since I threw a lot of shit about him that I knew would specifically kill him inside in his face. (He did it to me, but idk? Thats like comparing someone flinging a cake in my face, and me throwing back a Meteor Hammer at their fucking eyes, then as theyre already on the ground, stomping on the teeth that flung out of their mouth to a fine dust to make sure the dentist cant just pop those suckers back in.)

So in a way... yes, I was not a super good person today. I can either do that thing where I get totally reckless and uncaring, and block out all forms of guilt, and maybe even the memory entirely... (Stress is already making me really hazy right now, so i may or may not remember this, i suppose.)

Or I can apologize.....

I can't apologize so soon. He's still an asshole, and i need more time to really figure out my feelings.

Still cant really rebuild that shit back, either way. Once a man plays the "not my fault you got attached when i went out of my way to make you really like me" card, (the same thing that gave Patrick that bloody nose, since he was ridiculously stupid to say that wanting to kiss me when i left him was a romantic act.... I'm still sorry about his nose, it's why I cried and pulled out napkins like that once I actually came to fully and saw it.)

Anyway, he played what was a very very very very very not so good card to play on me.

My original retort back was polite; let him know in an intelligent yet still snarky way, "YES dipshit, the whole POINT of my FUCKING PARAGRAPH was to let you know that i am becoming TOXIC and DELUDED and CLINGY, so if I STAY, its gonna have REALLY NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES DUE TO THE NOTICEABLE TENSIONS COMING BETWEEN YOU AND ME DUE TO MY UNRECIPROCATED AFFECTIONS AND FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN."

I worded it a lot better without caps, but I wrote it well. He saw it and didnt reply.

But the way he wrote what he wrote before what I sent.... had my skin crawling and burning, gave me the shakes. If I were a cartoon character, I'd probably glow red or have steam coming out of my ears.

So.

I took the low blow and went lower, then lower again, maybe like five solid times.

....

I'm sorry, Rowan. You didn't deserve that. I shouldn't have brought up your romantic past and shed such a harsh, and negative, light onto you. I could've been nicer about how I handled everything, and I chose a much worse route than what was deserved. You're gonna be okay, with or without me. You have friends that you love, and I still will care about you from a distance, but I can't afford to be involved right now. At the expense of my mental health, and yours.

And I didn't mean to insinuate that we were each other's crutch in a bad way, you know? I mean, its like..... I knew that you were mine, and you've told me on multiple occasions that you felt like I cared about you more than other people have, and whatnot.

That's probably not true, and you have friends of more than 4+ years who would take offense to thinking that the girl you've passively known since February or so, and only clicked with in late March, would like you more than them.

But, I was using you as a crutch too. Not as a, "I'm only using him for validation"... Or, well, not when things got to seeming like you did care for me as well.... I took it at face value, so, whether what you said was a lie or not, know that my platonic and romantic feelings for you grew to be more than just you flashing your dick in a picture, or just aimless flirting. I saw more than that.

And hell, I knew that if you just up and left me someday, I'd crumble. Geez, I'm even crying as I write this shit, and for all I know, he's never even gonna see it....

So yknow, if I was already pretty quickly attached to you, and you knew that... You've known for awhile, since when I first suspected a crush, I told you about it immediately, to avoid the embarrassment of some hidden crush or whatever interfering with an otherwise interesting bond.

I don't get why you thought it would be easy for me, what came next.

None of it was. Hell, I gave you my tumblr for a reason.... to read everything on here. No secrets or hidden fears, just straight up, "This is how she's like, this is how she writes when stressed, or sad, or devastated, or happy, or overjoyed". Seeing whatever about my past or present and my goals for the future... all seriousness.

Just.... too many words to say right now without being super messy in real time with the amount of tears trailing down my face atm.

.....

12:46am.

I was trying to say, we were each other's crutch. You told me that, and I knew it. I could tell. When you'd go off your meds, and think the whole world hated you or that your life was fucked, doing the classic "everyone is fucking muted right now dont even think about messaging me, tag me if you want me to talk".... And I was seemingly the only one unmuted, or your phone was open on my messages the entire time, since your replies were still instant. And I was..... Scared shitless. I still had things to do, but if I made that cup of tea too long, or didnt wash my hands fast enough, or folded clothes more than 5 minutes, then, who knows what would have happened to you?

You eventually told me never to take your posts seriously, but.... That's impossible to do. Just... eugh.

But I also knew that if you did sincerely kill yourself, or simply even stop talking to me, I'd lose my shit.

That, my dear, is called "co-dependency". I needed to remind myself that I have a life outside of you, and vice vera.

You did well, since you have friends to play online board games with, buy and stream video games for, and more. You've got friends to face time, and well, plenty of options everywhere.

And I have..... eh.... I'm finding things tonight that I used to love researching, like hypergamy and art n shit, but still. I was getting a bit too into you, and you were still a bit too into me too..... I get liking a girl, but saying I'm the only person who's ever cared about you is pretty fucked. Don't do that shit, ever, seriously. But if your other friends dont care about you whatsoever to see how you are doing or bother checking in? You maybe did need new friends.....

Anyway. I needed a firm rejection that night. It wouldve gave me time to cool down, accept things for what they are, and cry before waking up and just having another chill day.

I guess me mentioning needing a direct "i have mo feelings fir you i rhat

My jand is falling asleeo

Agj

Whatever

You shohlsve just told me that you never would. Going "well the only reason i havent dated tou is necaude of my pasy, otherwise i totally wouls" tnen postif fuckboh pocs online....

Ha di mstill asleep.

Fuck.

12:59am. Writi g more later. Love you Rowan. Please stay safe and drink some waer please. I mag not be ue friend as od now, but i still want you to do whats right for yoursslf. You lnow how to reach me. Peace yalls.