#if they're kinky that's just the normal universe have you SEEN them

[unbearable-lightness-of-ink]

idk who needs to hear this but if you're trying to write an evil alternate universe you gotta do something other than just make the characters into bdsm, that's not evil, that's just the normal universe with some added kink

[alectoperdita]

“seto and shizuka meet” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love the kinky sex but i’ll confess that i read lure for the plot and this! this is what i have been yearning for!

For Audience Participation: Fic-Writing Edition ask game

I'm flattered you read it for plot and think there's enough of such to sink your teeth into. 😂

I'm taking this as a chance to answer your ask as if it's for the ask meme. Hope that's okay, anon! For one, even though it's on the list, I'm unsure if I'm going to get to writing it. It doesn't even have a linked document yet. Like I keep talking about writing the short where Jou and Mokuba meet for the first time, and Mokuba poisons Jou (on purpose) and... *cricket noises*

Anyway, putting the idea behind Kaiba and Shizuka's meeting under a cut since it's technically a spoiler.

Shizuka and her mom don't live in Domino. As in many of my other fics, and mentioned in one of the other Lure fics, they live in Nagasaki, whereas I usually place Domino in the Chubu region. The reason this is set later in Lure is it'd have to be a time when Kaiba would presumably be willing to let Jounouchi tag along in his travels for "business."

So Kaiba has to go to Nagasaki for "work," and that gives Jou a chance to reconnect with his estranged sister. This is super awkward because they literally haven't spoken in years and Jou in this AU is less "heroic" than his canon self. Shizuka, of course, asks about how he's doing and maybe even brooches the subject of their father. At this point, Jou has not seen his dad and has been living with Kaiba for years. Maybe he tries to not reveal too much but I can't see him as doing it particularly suave and Shizuka worrying about him because she still remembers stuff from her childhood. Nor is Jou's caginess inspiring confidence.

To put her concerns to rest, he admits he hasn't lived with their father in a long time. Maybe even lets it slip that he's living at someone else's house, only to panic when he realizes what he's admitted and tries to write his relationship with Kaiba as an employer/live-in employee relationship. Kaiba employs Hanako as a housekeeper, so Jou sorta lumps himself in with her.

Shizuka insists on meeting Kaiba since he's also in the city. Jounouchi panics, but at this point, he and Kaiba are "fond" enough of each other that he goes "just do me this favor (you can have me repay it however when we get home) and for the love of god, please act normal."

So the three of them meet up before Kaiba and Jou are due to return to Domino, probably somewhere in public such as a cafe. Kaiba busts out his "totally normal university student from a well-to-do family" impression. He doesn't raise any immediate red flags to Shizuka, but Shizuka does pick up on their closeness.

Both Kaiba and Jou play how they met and came to live together pretty close to the chest.

That's when Shizuka comes to the conclusion that Kaiba is Jou's quiet/introverted boyfriend who helped get Jou out of a bad situation and they're maybe trying to keep their relationship a secret because of homophobia from society or Kaiba's family. Jounouchi doesn't realize this until they get home when Shizuka calls to ask after Jounouchi (I imagine the siblings start to communicate more regularly after this) and when she also asks how Kaiba's doing, she refers to him as Jou's "polite boyfriend."

Jounouchi wants to die afterward, but he finds it hard to correct Shizuka's misconceptions without worrying her. So now when Shizuka calls, he has to endure her referring to Kaiba as his boyfriend.

Oh, and he does everything in his power to not let Kaiba find out about this. He predictably fails, because this series is about tormenting my boy, even if it's mostly for comedy.

(Kaiba is actually super amused when he finds out because one, it implies that he came off "likable" enough to be deemed someone's boyfriend.)

That is also my secret, later Lure occasionally becomes a comedy of errors.

[eonian-nightmare]

XD inserting sexy man info for friend. Prepare for rant xD (Love you) (there's 2 parts to this)

Firstly, cecil isnt human.

Thats where i think the confusion has come between fandoms. The human design is a fandom interpretation, we do not have a Canon design. All descriptors we have of cecil point him to being a very non human entity. And I think that's why the voters laughed and started going He's therefore in comedic sense the most iconic sexyman, because technically we have no idea what he looks like. It's why the picture voting for him in the poll was just the show logo.

The fandom interpretation of his tho, how does that compete?

Well, that does depict him as somewhat humanoid, but id say in the same sense of most monsters. He's seen as a reflection, the literal mirrored image of another character, he's also often depicted with 3 eyes, engulfed in tentacles and covered in tattoos. Not really conventionally attractive

Secondly, from my understanding, tumblr sexyman, its not so much about not being sexy, its about not being what normal people find attractive.

Lets face it, tumblr is full of kinky bastards, and every sexy man has a large following who generally believe they're attractive. I'll use Jonah Magnus/Elias bouchard as an example, since I know my friends are aware of his infamy.

Elias is the biggest known sexyman in the TMA fandom. But like cecil he doesn't have a Canon look. We can draw Elias completely humanoid Or we can draw him full monster mode, covered in eyeballs, floating in the pupil of the watcher, etc. But regardless, people simp over him. But it's not because of his physical description. Tbh, if Elias wasn't revealed to be the villian/ an eldritch being, he probably wouldn't be on the list. Because he'd just be a normal old man ceo, And tumblr doesn't find that sexy.

But he got added to the list because of how he's represented, and the fact that normal people don't find him sexy. But we still have the fandom simp over him, we still find his voice very attractive, we find his powers and monster for attractive. But normal people wouldn't.

But these characters are still sexy, even if not to some.

Hence my point of the rant, just like Elias, both Sans and Cecil wouldn't be considered sexy by normal people. Sans is a literally skeleton, and cecil is an immortal eye being consumed by tentcles. None are sexy in their own right, but their fandoms have made them sexy. You can find equal amount of monsterf*cking p*rn about both of them, same as slash fiction, and just erotic art.

The erotic side of it is very occ, and it's hard to see that behaviour existing in Universe, but the fan on description is what drives it.

Elias is a boring ass ceo in Canon, but the fandom made him a twink. The oncler is hardly a fashion diva/ sex icon, but the fandom made him that way etc.

Anyway, imma stop typing cause I'm going on a tangents. But I hope it sheds some light on why cecil is being treated how he is.

"Cecil isn't a Tumblr sexyman"

Do you know any fucking Tumblr history?

Welcome to Night Vale was supposed to perform at Dashcon. They were one of the first fandoms on Tumblr, appearing with The Oncler and Bill Cipher. Cecil is canonically gay with a HUSBAND. He was the first character to have the eye motif. Almost all the art had him with fucking tentacles. He is iconic.

Also, have you heard his voice? That man is sexy as fuck.

[crazywolf828]

I love your abo first, but some of the things that you write (like the nest one) kind of went over my head. So basically, my question is: where do I learn more about abo? I don't want to not understand what you, or anyone else who writes abo, is talking about

Oh boy what a question. Alright I'm going to put this under a read more because this got long and has nsfw technical talk

First off I want to say, this is my understanding, if you want broader terms you can just look at the wikis here and here

Alright with that out of the way let's get to the basics on how, most people, write/view abo.

The statuses are the main thing in the world, a hierarchy of sorts, with alpha's at the top, beta's in the middle, and omega's at the bottom (though some fics hold omega's to a high stature, something of a prize). I've never personally been a fan of this part of the trope, at least not pushed to some of the extremes I've seen, it can make consent a bit dubious not to mention like... Classism? That's not the right word, but one status thinking they're better than the others is...😬. It's also why a lot of fic writers tend to write the world normal, but some minor adjustments to fit the statuses to a minimal level to avoid all that.

Let's get the widely accepted definitions out of the way first

Alpha's- They're usually the dominant ones, the provider's, get the most respect in this universe. In most fics both male and female alpha's have penises and can impregnate omega's and betas, they also have knots on the end of the penis to uh, help ensure pregnancy let's say. They go into rut which basically just means for up to a week they want to do nothing but bang. They tend to get more dominant at this time and usually only have clear thoughts after orgasms. Some fics have them 'cycle' which just means that they get horny for a while before it goes away, enough they can eat, sleep, bathe, whatever, and then it comes back. That cycle happens for however long their rut is. Female alpha's can get a bit confusing because there's a couple ways people tend to write their genitals. I'd say the most common is where they have a vagina but when they get aroused the clit extends into a 'penis' that reverts back after, the other just has their genitals being a penis without a vagina. I have noticed they almost never have testicles though...

Beta's- they're basically just humans. Middle of the road, tend to be the labor workers of the universe. Most fics don't touch the topic of beta's because they are so similar to real life humans (and you clicked that fic for kinky shit lbr) the females can get pregnant and the males can impregnate.

Omega's- they're seen as submissive and are often looked down on as being lesser. They tend not to get jobs and are what you could equate to the old timey 'house wife' where they can't speak out of turn and all that sexist stuff. (Once again something I'm not a fan of and a lot of writers have moved away from) Omega's go into heat which, similar to rut, for a few days to a week all they want to do is bang. They tend to become more submissive during this time and only have a few moments of clear thoughts between orgasms. Some fics have them 'cycle' that cycle happens for however long their heat is. Both males and females are able to get pregnant and the males are... Self lubercating (the word slick has been ruined for me btw).

Mating bite/claiming bite- this usually happens when mates are having sex they'll both place a bite somewhere along the throat/shoulder. It's only done for partners who plan to be together for the rest of their lives because, in some fics, it leaves a scar. While in other fics it may fade after a while leading to them doing it again.

Nesting- in some fics omega's will take a bunch of blankets and pillows and just soft things in general and make, well, a nest. They usually do it before their heat and will put their partner's clothes or things that smell like them into it because it helps calm them.

Scents(?)- speaking of smells one of the biggest things in abo is scents. They're written a million different ways too so there isn't exactly a strict definition. Basically each person has a scent, one that their emotions can leak into. So say your alpha gets angry, their normally citrus smell might get a bit acrid, or more intense. The throat tends to be where the scent is the strongest. It tends to be more of an alpha/omega thing, beta's not being able to smell as well. But! In some fics beta's (and omega's) are good at neutralizing situations by letting out 'calming scents' which can basically cut through most other smells (say two angry alpha's) at relax the situation

I'm sure there's more but my brain is so dead rn. Anyway, it all varies from fic to fic, I'm not a fan of pushing that narrative where one class is better than the other, or that they completely lose themselves during heats/ruts, brings up a lot of consent issues. But that's just me, some people like to full lean into that type of thing which y'know, to each their own.

[perlukafarinn]

How about Dean and Cas as University professors? Where one is a leather-jacket-wearing, motorcycle-driving badass and the other wears sweater vests and dorky glasses? And none of their students realize they're married until some event happens that ends with someone witnessing them kissing goodbye in front of one of their offices?

Gossiping is a powerfulurge. University students are by no means exempt from it, despite ostensiblybeing intelligent adults. So when one sunny Monday morning, Professor Novakshows up to class with a visible hickey on the side of his neck, the rumor millgoes spinning out of control.

Because, yeah, Novak isgood looking but he’s always seemed kind of… untouchable. Like a monk, but ahot one.

His classes are smallbut everyone knows who Novak is so by early evening the whole campus has beenmade aware of The Hickey. Once people have gotten over the fact of its mereexistence, the conversation turns to who could possibly have made it.

Maeve isn’t particularlyinterested in the answer but she gets sucked into the conversation anyway thefollowing morning, as she and her friends wait for Professor Winchester’slecture to start. “It’s got to be Professor Milton, right? They’re alwaystogether.”

“She’s married,” Siobhandismisses, because she’s always on top of these things. The fact that shedoesn’t know the identity of Novak’s mystery lover seems to really gall her. “Andher wife is smoking hot, if she cheated it wouldn’t be with Professor SweaterVest.”

Marie shrugs. “I don’tknow, the sweater vests are kind of cute.”

“I’m gonna pretend youdidn’t say that.”

“What about ProfessorMasters?” Maggie suggests.

Siobhan considers thisfor a moment. “I mean, I guess, but can you really picture the two of themtogether? I know opposites attract and all but still…”

“It isn’t necessarily awoman,” Kristen says, which, point. “Or a professor.”

It’s at this point thatProfessor Winchester enters the lecture hall. Normally, his presence is enoughto get their attention. He’s one of those guys who knows he’s handsome and he’snot above using this to his advantage. The leather jacket doesn’t hurt, nor themotorcycle helmet he usually carries in his right hand, knocking casuallyagainst his hip.

Today, none of them somuch as glance his way.

For a moment, he standsat his desk, waiting for them to stop talking. When they don’t, he knockssharply on his desk, startling them.

He smiles easily, andfor a moment all gossip about Professor Novak’s love life is a distant memory. “What’sso important that you can’t stop talking about it? Did you start on the topicwithout me?”

“We’re trying to figureout who Professor Novak is hooking up with,” Siobhan replies, because she’sabsolutely shameless.

Winchester pinches hislips together, like he’s trying not to laugh. “Oh?”

And because Siobhanalways has to press her luck, “Do you know?”

“That’s, uh-” Winchesterclears his throat. “That’s not really appropriate for me to discuss with you.”

“So yes.”

“Okay!” Winchester clapshis hands. “I hope everyone did their reading, because we’re diving right intoEllison’s Flying Home. Who wants tostart?”

*

By the end of the week,Novak’s hickey has mostly faded and so have the rumors. That weekend Marie getsdrunk at a party and spends an hour making out with Kevin Tran, which gives themsomething new to talk about. The Novak Hickey mystery seems poised to go onunsolved.

Then, the next Monday,Professor Novak shows up to class with not one but two hickeys, and just like that the rumors go flying again.

Maggie stands fast byher theory that it has to be Professor Masters, arguing that she definitely hasthe hots for him (“She calls him Clarence. Who gives cutesy nicknames like thatunless they like somebody?”). Most of the rest of them figure it’s someoneoutside of school, which is more likely though less interesting.

Kristen, meanwhile, getsit in her head that it’s Professor Winchester, based on his reaction when theybrought up the topic.

The rest of them arequick to shoot that theory down.

“They have nothing incommon,” Maggie says, which is rich given that she thinks he’s hooking up withMasters.

“Professor Novak hatesmotorcycles,” Maeve adds. “He says they’re deathtraps.”

Siobhan shrugsapologetically. “It’s just not a lot to go on, babe.”

“Besides,” Marie says, “ProfessorWinchester has a boyfriend. I’ve seen him hanging around his office. He’sreally tall and he’s got gorgeous hair.”

They move on to theirnext theory, that Professor Novak is hooking up with a student (highlyunlikely, but perfectly scandalous if it is happening). It’s possible they’respending way too much time and effort on this subject but hey, it’s either thator work on their mid-term essays and no one actually wants to do that.

It’s during a Thursdaylecture a couple of weeks later, when Novak’s hickeys have finally faded onlyto be replaced by yet another one, that one of them grows frustrated with themystery and actually brings it up with Novak.

His expression goesabsolutely blank at the question. “You want to know who I’m…”

“Hooking up with,” Mariehelpfully repeats. “Or dating, if you prefer.”

It’s possible that thefreedom of college might have finally gone to her head. No one talks this way to Professor Novak. Professor Winchester orMasters, sure, because they’re fun and casual (Winchester even lets them callhim Dean), but Novak is too structured for that.

“I am not hooking upwith nor dating anyone,” Novak says slowly, brows furrowed in confusion. “And Iam at a loss as to how that relates to our topic.”

“We’ve just beenwondering,” Marie says. “What with the love bites.”

Novak’s hand shoots upto cover his neck, and then he’s actually blushing.“I, ah, was not aware that you had noticed.” He clears his throat. “Regardless,it is no concern of yours.”

Which is his polite wayof saying, mind your own goddamn business.Marie takes the hint, and the topic gets dropped.

The rumors fizzle outafter that. Clearly, Professor Novak is uncomfortable with them butting intohis personal life, and knowing that kind of takes the fun out of gossipingabout it. The hickeys also stop showing up.

Nearly a month later,Siobhan and Kristen are heading for his office after hours.

“It’s way too late,”Siobhan complains as her girlfriend drags her down the hall by the hand. “He’sprobably home by now.”

“I saw his car in theparking lot,” Kristen says. “And I need to talk to him today, I just missed hisregular office hours because someone wasdistracting me.”

“I can’t help it if I’madorable.”

Kristen elbows her side.“You’re a menace, is what you are.”

“Damn straight,” Siobhansays with a satisfied grin. “Or should I say damn-”

Kristen stops short justpast the corner, causing Siobhan to bump into her. She’s about to complain,when she sees what caused Kristen to stop.

Professor Novak isstanding outside his office, arms wrapped around and lips very much engagedwith Professor Winchester, who has him pressed against the doors.

“No way,” Siobhan breathes.

“Hah!” Kristen exclaims.

Winchester pulls awayabruptly, both men going red when they notice the girls. For a moment, all fourof them are engaged in an awkward staring contest.

“…I’m afraid officehours are over,” Novak eventually says.

“You lied!” Siobhanblurts. She catches herself moments after, deeply mortified at having justcalled out her professor aboutrightly keeping his personal life private.

Winchester, at least,doesn’t seem outraged at her audacity so much as amused. “You lying to yourstudents about me, Cas?”

Cas – freaking Cas – frowns. “I don’t remember doingthat.”

“You said you weren’thooking up with or dating anyone,” Siobhan reminds him, because in for a penny.

“Oh, yes,” Novak says. “Iwasn’t lying. Dean and I aren’t hooking up, we’re married.”

“What, those aremutually exclusive?” Winchester asks. “We get hitched and the romance dies?”

“I’d hardly call ‘hookingup’ romantic.”

“I would! You’re stillsaved in my contacts under ‘booty call’, you know.”

Novak’s cheeks go evenredder. “This is hardly appropriate,” he says, gesturing at Kristen and Siobhan.

“Right, sorry.”Winchester grimaces. “Uh, you girls won’t tell anyone about this?”

“We won’t,” Kristenassures him.

“But if you didn’t wantanyone to know, maybe you shouldn’t have kept giving your husband hickeys,”Siobhan suggests dryly. “Especially after we asked you about them.”

Novak turns to hishusband – his freaking husband –expression an icy calm. “You knew?”

“Uh…” Winchester gives him a weak smile. “In my defense, it was really funny.”

“Why don’t you head onhome,” Novak says, turning to the girls. “I need to speak to my husband inprivate.”

He doesn’t wait forWinchester to respond, but opens the doors to his office, waving him inside.Kristen and Siobhan are left alone in the hallway, still reeling from what justhappened.

“So,” Siobhan says aftera long moment. “You were right.”

“Of course I was.”Kristen tugs at her hand, and they head back down the hall the way they came. “Ijust hope you didn’t get Professor Winchester in too much trouble.”

“He had it coming.”Siobhan gives her a devious grin. “And I bet he’s not even in any trouble. They’reprobably about to have some really kinky sex on Professor Novak’s desk.”

“Gross,” Kristen whines.“I did not need that mental image.”

[gravelorded]

my experiences with overwatch characters

genji: despite all the 'i need healing' memes, they're usually pretty nice. they know the entire team is watching and waiting for them to crash and burn

mccree: either spawn from hell or just here to have a good time (usually the latter). will probably try to say hi at the enemy spawn

pharah: very friendly. will almost never get their ult to go off but won't be salty about it. thanks healthpacks

reaper: KINKY. either cursed as shit or will say hello to anything and everything. anyone that mains reaper has dreamt of him crushing their head between his monster thighs

solider 76: VANILLA. it's okay though, most people want to fuck him but can't explain it

sombra: definitely only here to have a good time since she's basically useless until the devs give her a monster buff. if the player spams the boop voiceline you will hear that noise in your nightmares forever

tracer: very high chance they're gay. very high chance one of the enemy team will switch to tracer because they're annoying

ana: absolute sweethearts who will risk life and her other eye to keep you alive. secretly enjoys watching the person she's nanoboosted lose their fucking mind trying to make the most of it though

lúcio: again, really sweet. unless they're on ilios in which case he's public enemy number one and even if he's on your team you shoudn't trust him

mercy: probably picked healer because everyone else picked genji and hanzo. alternatively, a masochist. if the pistol is used a lot they probably mained medic in TF2 and don't fear god or death

zenyatta: most likely play competitive too much. another top tier picks for gays but they probably have clinical depression

symmetra: [flicking teleporter on and off] welcome to my reality welcome to my reality

reinhardt: in the top three most likely to say hi in spawn. please get behind him

roadhog: this one is skin dependent. normal roadhogs are like your weird uncle but roadhogs with the islander or junkenstein's monster skin are maniacs and will hook your entire ancestral line across the map

winston: i've only ever seen like three. cryptids

zarya: tied with tracer and zenyatta as a pick for gays. a good zarya will take your bullets and shove them back up your ass at mach-1 speed

d.va: the chaotic good of the universe. probably has play of the game before the match has even started

bastion: probably tried to play bastion in competitive once and that was enough. anyone that places him on that elevator thing in hollywood is a scorpio

hanzo: they take skirmish way too seriously

junkrat: THE CHAOTIC EVIL TO D.VA'S CHAOTIC GOOD. the sound of a riptire is actually an effective tactic to kill the enemy team irl because half of them will have a stroke out of stress

torbjörn: lava eating machine. all of them are cursed and i'm personally afraid of him

widowmaker: 57 shots, 1 kill. if they're using the odile skin they're probably a straight male

mei: fuck you to hell

[rainbow600]

my experiences with overwatch characters

genji: despite all the 'i need healing' memes, they're usually pretty nice. they know the entire team is watching and waiting for them to crash and burn

mccree: either spawn from hell or just here to have a good time (usually the latter). will probably try to say hi at the enemy spawn

pharah: very friendly. will almost never get their ult to go off but won't be salty about it. thanks healthpacks

reaper: KINKY. either cursed as shit or will say hello to anything and everything. anyone that mains reaper has dreamt of him crushing their head between his monster thighs

solider 76: VANILLA. it's okay though, most people want to fuck him but can't explain it

sombra: definitely only here to have a good time since she's basically useless until the devs give her a monster buff. if the player spams the boop voiceline you will hear that noise in your nightmares forever

tracer: very high chance they're gay. very high chance one of the enemy team will switch to tracer because they're annoying

ana: absolute sweethearts who will risk life and her other eye to keep you alive. secretly enjoys watching the person she's nanoboosted lose their fucking mind trying to make the most of it though

lúcio: again, really sweet. unless they're on ilios in which case he's public enemy number one and even if he's on your team you shoudn't trust him

mercy: probably picked healer because everyone else picked genji and hanzo. alternatively, a masochist. if the pistol is used a lot they probably mained medic in TF2 and don't fear god or death

zenyatta: most likely play competitive too much. another top tier picks for gays but they probably have clinical depression

symmetra: [flicking teleporter on and off] welcome to my reality welcome to my reality

reinhardt: in the top three most likely to say hi in spawn. please get behind him

roadhog: this one is skin dependent. normal roadhogs are like your weird uncle but roadhogs with the islander or junkenstein's monster skin are maniacs and will hook your entire ancestral line across the map

winston: i've only ever seen like three. cryptids

zarya: tied with tracer and zenyatta as a pick for gays. a good zarya will take your bullets and shove them back up your ass at mach-1 speed

d.va: the chaotic good of the universe. probably has play of the game before the match has even started

bastion: probably tried to play bastion in competitive once and that was enough. anyone that places him on that elevator thing in hollywood is a scorpio

hanzo: they take skirmish way too seriously

junkrat: THE CHAOTIC EVIL TO D.VA'S CHAOTIC GOOD. the sound of a riptire is actually an effective tactic to kill the enemy team irl because half of them will have a stroke out of stress

torbjörn: lava eating machine. all of them are cursed and i'm personally afraid of him

widowmaker: 57 shots, 1 kill. if they're using the odile skin they're probably a straight male

mei: fuck you to hell

[iamupset]

my experiences with overwatch characters

genji: despite all the 'i need healing' memes, they're usually pretty nice. they know the entire team is watching and waiting for them to crash and burn

mccree: either spawn from hell or just here to have a good time (usually the latter). will probably try to say hi at the enemy spawn

pharah: very friendly. will almost never get their ult to go off but won't be salty about it. thanks healthpacks

reaper: KINKY. either cursed as shit or will say hello to anything and everything. anyone that mains reaper has dreamt of him crushing their head between his monster thighs

solider 76: VANILLA. it's okay though, most people want to fuck him but can't explain it

sombra: definitely only here to have a good time since she's basically useless until the devs give her a monster buff. if the player spams the boop voiceline you will hear that noise in your nightmares forever

tracer: very high chance they're gay. very high chance one of the enemy team will switch to tracer because they're annoying

ana: absolute sweethearts who will risk life and her other eye to keep you alive. secretly enjoys watching the person she's nanoboosted lose their fucking mind trying to make the most of it though

lúcio: again, really sweet. unless they're on ilios in which case he's public enemy number one and even if he's on your team you shoudn't trust him

mercy: probably picked healer because everyone else picked genji and hanzo. alternatively, a masochist. if the pistol is used a lot they probably mained medic in TF2 and don't fear god or death

zenyatta: most likely play competitive too much. another top tier picks for gays but they probably have clinical depression

symmetra: [flicking teleporter on and off] welcome to my reality welcome to my reality

reinhardt: in the top three most likely to say hi in spawn. please get behind him

roadhog: this one is skin dependent. normal roadhogs are like your weird uncle but roadhogs with the islander or junkenstein's monster skin are maniacs and will hook your entire ancestral line across the map

winston: i've only ever seen like three. cryptids

zarya: tied with tracer and zenyatta as a pick for gays. a good zarya will take your bullets and shove them back up your ass at mach-1 speed

d.va: the chaotic good of the universe. probably has play of the game before the match has even started

bastion: probably tried to play bastion in competitive once and that was enough. anyone that places him on that elevator thing in hollywood is a scorpio

hanzo: they take skirmish way too seriously

junkrat: THE CHAOTIC EVIL TO D.VA'S CHAOTIC GOOD. the sound of a riptire is actually an effective tactic to kill the enemy team irl because half of them will have a stroke out of stress

torbjörn: lava eating machine. all of them are cursed and i'm personally afraid of him

widowmaker: 57 shots, 1 kill. if they're using the odile skin they're probably a straight male

mei: fuck you to hell

[ladyofdeathgods]

my experiences with overwatch characters

genji: despite all the 'i need healing' memes, they're usually pretty nice. they know the entire team is watching and waiting for them to crash and burn

mccree: either spawn from hell or just here to have a good time (usually the latter). will probably try to say hi at the enemy spawn

pharah: very friendly. will almost never get their ult to go off but won't be salty about it. thanks healthpacks

reaper: KINKY. either cursed as shit or will say hello to anything and everything. anyone that mains reaper has dreamt of him crushing their head between his monster thighs

solider 76: VANILLA. it's okay though, most people want to fuck him but can't explain it

sombra: definitely only here to have a good time since she's basically useless until the devs give her a monster buff. if the player spams the boop voiceline you will hear that noise in your nightmares forever

tracer: very high chance they're gay. very high chance one of the enemy team will switch to tracer because they're annoying

ana: absolute sweethearts who will risk life and her other eye to keep you alive. secretly enjoys watching the person she's nanoboosted lose their fucking mind trying to make the most of it though

lúcio: again, really sweet. unless they're on ilios in which case he's public enemy number one and even if he's on your team you shoudn't trust him

mercy: probably picked healer because everyone else picked genji and hanzo. alternatively, a masochist. if the pistol is used a lot they probably mained medic in TF2 and don't fear god or death

zenyatta: most likely play competitive too much. another top tier picks for gays but they probably have clinical depression

symmetra: [flicking teleporter on and off] welcome to my reality welcome to my reality

reinhardt: in the top three most likely to say hi in spawn. please get behind him

roadhog: this one is skin dependent. normal roadhogs are like your weird uncle but roadhogs with the islander or junkenstein's monster skin are maniacs and will hook your entire ancestral line across the map

winston: i've only ever seen like three. cryptids

zarya: tied with tracer and zenyatta as a pick for gays. a good zarya will take your bullets and shove them back up your ass at mach-1 speed

d.va: the chaotic good of the universe. probably has play of the game before the match has even started

bastion: probably tried to play bastion in competitive once and that was enough. anyone that places him on that elevator thing in hollywood is a scorpio

hanzo: they take skirmish way too seriously

junkrat: THE CHAOTIC EVIL TO D.VA'S CHAOTIC GOOD. the sound of a riptire is actually an effective tactic to kill the enemy team irl because half of them will have a stroke out of stress

torbjörn: lava eating machine. all of them are cursed and i'm personally afraid of him

widowmaker: 57 shots, 1 kill. if they're using the odile skin they're probably a straight male

mei: fuck you to hell

[lazulishark]

my experiences with overwatch characters

genji: despite all the 'i need healing' memes, they're usually pretty nice. they know the entire team is watching and waiting for them to crash and burn

mccree: either spawn from hell or just here to have a good time (usually the latter). will probably try to say hi at the enemy spawn

pharah: very friendly. will almost never get their ult to go off but won't be salty about it. thanks healthpacks

reaper: KINKY. either cursed as shit or will say hello to anything and everything. anyone that mains reaper has dreamt of him crushing their head between his monster thighs

solider 76: VANILLA. it's okay though, most people want to fuck him but can't explain it

sombra: definitely only here to have a good time since she's basically useless until the devs give her a monster buff. if the player spams the boop voiceline you will hear that noise in your nightmares forever

tracer: very high chance they're gay. very high chance one of the enemy team will switch to tracer because they're annoying

ana: absolute sweethearts who will risk life and her other eye to keep you alive. secretly enjoys watching the person she's nanoboosted lose their fucking mind trying to make the most of it though

lúcio: again, really sweet. unless they're on ilios in which case he's public enemy number one and even if he's on your team you shoudn't trust him

mercy: probably picked healer because everyone else picked genji and hanzo. alternatively, a masochist. if the pistol is used a lot they probably mained medic in TF2 and don't fear god or death

zenyatta: most likely play competitive too much. another top tier picks for gays but they probably have clinical depression

symmetra: [flicking teleporter on and off] welcome to my reality welcome to my reality

reinhardt: in the top three most likely to say hi in spawn. please get behind him

roadhog: this one is skin dependent. normal roadhogs are like your weird uncle but roadhogs with the islander or junkenstein's monster skin are maniacs and will hook your entire ancestral line across the map

winston: i've only ever seen like three. cryptids

zarya: tied with tracer and zenyatta as a pick for gays. a good zarya will take your bullets and shove them back up your ass at mach-1 speed

d.va: the chaotic good of the universe. probably has play of the game before the match has even started

bastion: probably tried to play bastion in competitive once and that was enough. anyone that places him on that elevator thing in hollywood is a scorpio

hanzo: they take skirmish way too seriously

junkrat: THE CHAOTIC EVIL TO D.VA'S CHAOTIC GOOD. the sound of a riptire is actually an effective tactic to kill the enemy team irl because half of them will have a stroke out of stress

torbjörn: lava eating machine. all of them are cursed and i'm personally afraid of him

widowmaker: 57 shots, 1 kill. if they're using the odile skin they're probably a straight male

mei: fuck you to hell

[jackel-328]

my experiences with overwatch characters

genji: despite all the 'i need healing' memes, they're usually pretty nice. they know the entire team is watching and waiting for them to crash and burn

mccree: either spawn from hell or just here to have a good time (usually the latter). will probably try to say hi at the enemy spawn

pharah: very friendly. will almost never get their ult to go off but won't be salty about it. thanks healthpacks

reaper: KINKY. either cursed as shit or will say hello to anything and everything. anyone that mains reaper has dreamt of him crushing their head between his monster thighs

solider 76: VANILLA. it's okay though, most people want to fuck him but can't explain it

sombra: definitely only here to have a good time since she's basically useless until the devs give her a monster buff. if the player spams the boop voiceline you will hear that noise in your nightmares forever

tracer: very high chance they're gay. very high chance one of the enemy team will switch to tracer because they're annoying

ana: absolute sweethearts who will risk life and her other eye to keep you alive. secretly enjoys watching the person she's nanoboosted lose their fucking mind trying to make the most of it though

lúcio: again, really sweet. unless they're on ilios in which case he's public enemy number one and even if he's on your team you shoudn't trust him

mercy: probably picked healer because everyone else picked genji and hanzo. alternatively, a masochist. if the pistol is used a lot they probably mained medic in TF2 and don't fear god or death

zenyatta: most likely play competitive too much. another top tier picks for gays but they probably have clinical depression

symmetra: [flicking teleporter on and off] welcome to my reality welcome to my reality

reinhardt: in the top three most likely to say hi in spawn. please get behind him

roadhog: this one is skin dependent. normal roadhogs are like your weird uncle but roadhogs with the islander or junkenstein's monster skin are maniacs and will hook your entire ancestral line across the map

winston: i've only ever seen like three. cryptids

zarya: tied with tracer and zenyatta as a pick for gays. a good zarya will take your bullets and shove them back up your ass at mach-1 speed

d.va: the chaotic good of the universe. probably has play of the game before the match has even started

bastion: probably tried to play bastion in competitive once and that was enough. anyone that places him on that elevator thing in hollywood is a scorpio

hanzo: they take skirmish way too seriously

junkrat: THE CHAOTIC EVIL TO D.VA'S CHAOTIC GOOD. the sound of a riptire is actually an effective tactic to kill the enemy team irl because half of them will have a stroke out of stress

torbjörn: lava eating machine. all of them are cursed and i'm personally afraid of him

widowmaker: 57 shots, 1 kill. if they're using the odile skin they're probably a straight male

mei: fuck you to hell

[sunshineindigo]

my experiences with overwatch characters

genji: despite all the 'i need healing' memes, they're usually pretty nice. they know the entire team is watching and waiting for them to crash and burn

mccree: either spawn from hell or just here to have a good time (usually the latter). will probably try to say hi at the enemy spawn

pharah: very friendly. will almost never get their ult to go off but won't be salty about it. thanks healthpacks

reaper: KINKY. either cursed as shit or will say hello to anything and everything. anyone that mains reaper has dreamt of him crushing their head between his monster thighs

solider 76: VANILLA. it's okay though, most people want to fuck him but can't explain it

sombra: definitely only here to have a good time since she's basically useless until the devs give her a monster buff. if the player spams the boop voiceline you will hear that noise in your nightmares forever

tracer: very high chance they're gay. very high chance one of the enemy team will switch to tracer because they're annoying

ana: absolute sweethearts who will risk life and her other eye to keep you alive. secretly enjoys watching the person she's nanoboosted lose their fucking mind trying to make the most of it though

lúcio: again, really sweet. unless they're on ilios in which case he's public enemy number one and even if he's on your team you shoudn't trust him

mercy: probably picked healer because everyone else picked genji and hanzo. alternatively, a masochist. if the pistol is used a lot they probably mained medic in TF2 and don't fear god or death

zenyatta: most likely play competitive too much. another top tier picks for gays but they probably have clinical depression

symmetra: [flicking teleporter on and off] welcome to my reality welcome to my reality

reinhardt: in the top three most likely to say hi in spawn. please get behind him

roadhog: this one is skin dependent. normal roadhogs are like your weird uncle but roadhogs with the islander or junkenstein's monster skin are maniacs and will hook your entire ancestral line across the map

winston: i've only ever seen like three. cryptids

zarya: tied with tracer and zenyatta as a pick for gays. a good zarya will take your bullets and shove them back up your ass at mach-1 speed

d.va: the chaotic good of the universe. probably has play of the game before the match has even started

bastion: probably tried to play bastion in competitive once and that was enough. anyone that places him on that elevator thing in hollywood is a scorpio

hanzo: they take skirmish way too seriously

junkrat: THE CHAOTIC EVIL TO D.VA'S CHAOTIC GOOD. the sound of a riptire is actually an effective tactic to kill the enemy team irl because half of them will have a stroke out of stress

torbjörn: lava eating machine. all of them are cursed and i'm personally afraid of him

widowmaker: 57 shots, 1 kill. if they're using the odile skin they're probably a straight male

mei: fuck you to hell

[gravekeeperlove]

my experiences with overwatch characters

genji: despite all the 'i need healing' memes, they're usually pretty nice. they know the entire team is watching and waiting for them to crash and burn

mccree: either spawn from hell or just here to have a good time (usually the latter). will probably try to say hi at the enemy spawn

pharah: very friendly. will almost never get their ult to go off but won't be salty about it. thanks healthpacks

reaper: KINKY. either cursed as shit or will say hello to anything and everything. anyone that mains reaper has dreamt of him crushing their head between his monster thighs

solider 76: VANILLA. it's okay though, most people want to fuck him but can't explain it

sombra: definitely only here to have a good time since she's basically useless until the devs give her a monster buff. if the player spams the boop voiceline you will hear that noise in your nightmares forever

tracer: very high chance they're gay. very high chance one of the enemy team will switch to tracer because they're annoying

ana: absolute sweethearts who will risk life and her other eye to keep you alive. secretly enjoys watching the person she's nanoboosted lose their fucking mind trying to make the most of it though

lúcio: again, really sweet. unless they're on ilios in which case he's public enemy number one and even if he's on your team you shoudn't trust him

mercy: probably picked healer because everyone else picked genji and hanzo. alternatively, a masochist. if the pistol is used a lot they probably mained medic in TF2 and don't fear god or death

zenyatta: most likely play competitive too much. another top tier picks for gays but they probably have clinical depression

symmetra: [flicking teleporter on and off] welcome to my reality welcome to my reality

reinhardt: in the top three most likely to say hi in spawn. please get behind him

roadhog: this one is skin dependent. normal roadhogs are like your weird uncle but roadhogs with the islander or junkenstein's monster skin are maniacs and will hook your entire ancestral line across the map

winston: i've only ever seen like three. cryptids

zarya: tied with tracer and zenyatta as a pick for gays. a good zarya will take your bullets and shove them back up your ass at mach-1 speed

d.va: the chaotic good of the universe. probably has play of the game before the match has even started

bastion: probably tried to play bastion in competitive once and that was enough. anyone that places him on that elevator thing in hollywood is a scorpio

hanzo: they take skirmish way too seriously

junkrat: THE CHAOTIC EVIL TO D.VA'S CHAOTIC GOOD. the sound of a riptire is actually an effective tactic to kill the enemy team irl because half of them will have a stroke out of stress

torbjörn: lava eating machine. all of them are cursed and i'm personally afraid of him

widowmaker: 57 shots, 1 kill. if they're using the odile skin they're probably a straight male

mei: fuck you to hell

[anonymokey]

my experiences with overwatch characters

genji: despite all the 'i need healing' memes, they're usually pretty nice. they know the entire team is watching and waiting for them to crash and burn

mccree: either spawn from hell or just here to have a good time (usually the latter). will probably try to say hi at the enemy spawn

pharah: very friendly. will almost never get their ult to go off but won't be salty about it. thanks healthpacks

reaper: KINKY. either cursed as shit or will say hello to anything and everything. anyone that mains reaper has dreamt of him crushing their head between his monster thighs

solider 76: VANILLA. it's okay though, most people want to fuck him but can't explain it

sombra: definitely only here to have a good time since she's basically useless until the devs give her a monster buff. if the player spams the boop voiceline you will hear that noise in your nightmares forever

tracer: very high chance they're gay. very high chance one of the enemy team will switch to tracer because they're annoying

ana: absolute sweethearts who will risk life and her other eye to keep you alive. secretly enjoys watching the person she's nanoboosted lose their fucking mind trying to make the most of it though

lúcio: again, really sweet. unless they're on ilios in which case he's public enemy number one and even if he's on your team you shoudn't trust him

mercy: probably picked healer because everyone else picked genji and hanzo. alternatively, a masochist. if the pistol is used a lot they probably mained medic in TF2 and don't fear god or death

zenyatta: most likely play competitive too much. another top tier picks for gays but they probably have clinical depression

symmetra: [flicking teleporter on and off] welcome to my reality welcome to my reality

reinhardt: in the top three most likely to say hi in spawn. please get behind him

roadhog: this one is skin dependent. normal roadhogs are like your weird uncle but roadhogs with the islander or junkenstein's monster skin are maniacs and will hook your entire ancestral line across the map

winston: i've only ever seen like three. cryptids

zarya: tied with tracer and zenyatta as a pick for gays. a good zarya will take your bullets and shove them back up your ass at mach-1 speed

d.va: the chaotic good of the universe. probably has play of the game before the match has even started

bastion: probably tried to play bastion in competitive once and that was enough. anyone that places him on that elevator thing in hollywood is a scorpio

hanzo: they take skirmish way too seriously

junkrat: THE CHAOTIC EVIL TO D.VA'S CHAOTIC GOOD. the sound of a riptire is actually an effective tactic to kill the enemy team irl because half of them will have a stroke out of stress

torbjörn: lava eating machine. all of them are cursed and i'm personally afraid of him

widowmaker: 57 shots, 1 kill. if they're using the odile skin they're probably a straight male

mei: fuck you to hell

[twothousandbees]

my experiences with overwatch characters

genji: despite all the 'i need healing' memes, they're usually pretty nice. they know the entire team is watching and waiting for them to crash and burn

mccree: either spawn from hell or just here to have a good time (usually the latter). will probably try to say hi at the enemy spawn

pharah: very friendly. will almost never get their ult to go off but won't be salty about it. thanks healthpacks

reaper: KINKY. either cursed as shit or will say hello to anything and everything. anyone that mains reaper has dreamt of him crushing their head between his monster thighs

solider 76: VANILLA. it's okay though, most people want to fuck him but can't explain it

sombra: definitely only here to have a good time since she's basically useless until the devs give her a monster buff. if the player spams the boop voiceline you will hear that noise in your nightmares forever

tracer: very high chance they're gay. very high chance one of the enemy team will switch to tracer because they're annoying

ana: absolute sweethearts who will risk life and her other eye to keep you alive. secretly enjoys watching the person she's nanoboosted lose their fucking mind trying to make the most of it though

lúcio: again, really sweet. unless they're on ilios in which case he's public enemy number one and even if he's on your team you shoudn't trust him

mercy: probably picked healer because everyone else picked genji and hanzo. alternatively, a masochist. if the pistol is used a lot they probably mained medic in TF2 and don't fear god or death

zenyatta: most likely play competitive too much. another top tier picks for gays but they probably have clinical depression

symmetra: [flicking teleporter on and off] welcome to my reality welcome to my reality

reinhardt: in the top three most likely to say hi in spawn. please get behind him

roadhog: this one is skin dependent. normal roadhogs are like your weird uncle but roadhogs with the islander or junkenstein's monster skin are maniacs and will hook your entire ancestral line across the map

winston: i've only ever seen like three. cryptids

zarya: tied with tracer and zenyatta as a pick for gays. a good zarya will take your bullets and shove them back up your ass at mach-1 speed

d.va: the chaotic good of the universe. probably has play of the game before the match has even started

bastion: probably tried to play bastion in competitive once and that was enough. anyone that places him on that elevator thing in hollywood is a scorpio

hanzo: they take skirmish way too seriously

junkrat: THE CHAOTIC EVIL TO D.VA'S CHAOTIC GOOD. the sound of a riptire is actually an effective tactic to kill the enemy team irl because half of them will have a stroke out of stress

torbjörn: lava eating machine. all of them are cursed and i'm personally afraid of him

widowmaker: 57 shots, 1 kill. if they're using the odile skin they're probably a straight male

mei: fuck you to hell

[tired--nb]

my experiences with overwatch characters

genji: despite all the 'i need healing' memes, they're usually pretty nice. they know the entire team is watching and waiting for them to crash and burn

mccree: either spawn from hell or just here to have a good time (usually the latter). will probably try to say hi at the enemy spawn

pharah: very friendly. will almost never get their ult to go off but won't be salty about it. thanks healthpacks

reaper: KINKY. either cursed as shit or will say hello to anything and everything. anyone that mains reaper has dreamt of him crushing their head between his monster thighs

solider 76: VANILLA. it's okay though, most people want to fuck him but can't explain it

sombra: definitely only here to have a good time since she's basically useless until the devs give her a monster buff. if the player spams the boop voiceline you will hear that noise in your nightmares forever

tracer: very high chance they're gay. very high chance one of the enemy team will switch to tracer because they're annoying

ana: absolute sweethearts who will risk life and her other eye to keep you alive. secretly enjoys watching the person she's nanoboosted lose their fucking mind trying to make the most of it though

lúcio: again, really sweet. unless they're on ilios in which case he's public enemy number one and even if he's on your team you shoudn't trust him

mercy: probably picked healer because everyone else picked genji and hanzo. alternatively, a masochist. if the pistol is used a lot they probably mained medic in TF2 and don't fear god or death

zenyatta: most likely play competitive too much. another top tier picks for gays but they probably have clinical depression

symmetra: [flicking teleporter on and off] welcome to my reality welcome to my reality

reinhardt: in the top three most likely to say hi in spawn. please get behind him

roadhog: this one is skin dependent. normal roadhogs are like your weird uncle but roadhogs with the islander or junkenstein's monster skin are maniacs and will hook your entire ancestral line across the map

winston: i've only ever seen like three. cryptids

zarya: tied with tracer and zenyatta as a pick for gays. a good zarya will take your bullets and shove them back up your ass at mach-1 speed

d.va: the chaotic good of the universe. probably has play of the game before the match has even started

bastion: probably tried to play bastion in competitive once and that was enough. anyone that places him on that elevator thing in hollywood is a scorpio

hanzo: they take skirmish way too seriously

junkrat: THE CHAOTIC EVIL TO D.VA'S CHAOTIC GOOD. the sound of a riptire is actually an effective tactic to kill the enemy team irl because half of them will have a stroke out of stress

torbjörn: lava eating machine. all of them are cursed and i'm personally afraid of him

widowmaker: 57 shots, 1 kill. if they're using the odile skin they're probably a straight male

mei: fuck you to hell