#if they prove they can get through a huge disappointment like this without falling apart as a couple then that bodes well for their rs

[harmonytheme]

I am sure they are still going on holiday as i am pretty sure Oscar said in an interview a while back that Dillon and Lucas have a holiday! 🤷‍♀️ but then it’s making me question it as time is running out for them to go before stunt week and i was really hoping they would be there for stunt week!

I remember the interview you’re talking about (the pride one I’m pretty sure) where he said they were working really hard on getting the boys on a holiday — which they most definitely have done with all the filming they did to set up the sl etc! I’m not sure if it means anything in the long term though bc he might just not have wanted to spoil the end of the storyline.

I know lots of people are saying “what was the point of setting it up if they aren’t going to go” which I get, but I also think that time was well spent establishing hayray as a solid, loving and stable couple before the time skip happens. There’s nothing worse than when a couple spends months and months in a slow burn and the second they get together they’re off screen for months 🧍‍♂️

Atm I think that whether they go or not is up in the air, but either way I feel like there are plenty of ways for the writers to close out the storyline in a satisfying way. 😌

[boldlyvoid]

New Romantics | Part Four

18+

Summary: She needs help studying for her Case Exercises at the Academy, He needs a date for the annual Banquet... they just so happen to be neighbours who aren't afraid to lend a helping hand, or in this case, a helping kiss.

Categories: Fake dating, neighbours, strangers to lovers, mutual pining, Angst with a happy ending, Smut *as selected by my poll on what you wanted to read*

Warnings: Season 9 Spencer (no Maeve arc), Angst, kissing, drinking, police training mentions, case details, canon typical violence, self-doubt, autistic!spencer, age gaps (24/33), FWB relationships, anxiety attacks, crying, misunderstandings, oral sex (both), penetrative sex, Perv!Spencer low-key, public sex, quickies, multiple orgasms,

Word Count: 5k

a/n: what could possibly go wrong next?

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | epilogue

She’s been asleep barely 2 hours when he shakes her awake, “Hey, when did you need to get ready today?”

“Uh?” She sits up and rubs her eyes, “we don’t have to leave until 1 so, like 11?”

“It’s 8:30, did you want to stay and sleep more?”

She looks at him and sighs, “are we okay?”

He nods, “can we just call it even?”

“Sure,” she agrees without knowing what she did wrong. It was more than just snapping on Tuesday, which is what she was still hurt over. “But I’m going to go, I need to change and stuff.”

“Yeah,” he nods but his smile is sad and she knows she’s fucking it up more.

She gets out of his bed, once it was the warmest bed she’s ever known. Any bed she shared with him was, but now it felt cold and uninviting and there was an unspoken knowingness that they were both genuinely upset.

“I’m still your fake girlfriend for the next 24 hours… can we make them count?” She asks, avoiding eye contact so he can't see her cry if he says no.

“Come here?”

She gets back into the bed and she cuddles into his chest. He holds her for a moment, “you’ve been the best girlfriend in the whole world. Do you really still want to be friends after this? Have I fucked up that bad?”

“Oh honey,” she places a hand on his cheek and looks at him softly, “I will be your neighbour, your best friend, your co-worker, carpool buddy, coffee friend, girlfriend, whatever you need as long as you’d like to have me around.”

He remembers the first time she said that and she knows because his smile is the same. “I love you.”

It hurts, “I love you, too.”

She kisses him quickly, attempting to pull back when his fingers grip her hair and his tongue is on her lips and she’s following his lead again.

“No,” she whispers, “I can’t.”

“Oh,” he stops and his hands drop to his sides so she can get back up.

“I’m going to go get ready, but I’ll come back when I’m done?”

“Yeah,” he nods again.

It breaks her heart to get up and go, she grabs her shoes and she sneaks out of his room, finding her keys in her pocket, she opens her own door and cries the second the door closes.

She cries in the shower, she cries while fixes her hair, she cries while she has lunch. Every song reminds her of the situation, every section of her apartment reminds her of him, the stupid door where they first kissed is closed and she wishes he was stable enough to bang on it and demand an answer.

Whatever was going on between them was reaching a bubbling over point, she can only store so much emotion before she explodes on him.

As soon as she is in her dress, makeup on and ready to go, she walks into his apartment to find him struggling with his bowtie, it makes her smile for the first time since she left his room this morning, “need help?”

“Yes, please.”

She walks over to him and repeats the same movements he attempted, making the bow look pretty before smoothing her hands over his dress shirt and looking up at him. “Handsome as ever.”

“You’re always beautiful,” he compliments her right back but his voice is still as sad as the night before.

“Are you ever going to tell me what’s going on in there?” She pries, tapping his temple with her index finger, “you’re my best friend and I don’t like seeing you sad.”

“I heard what you said yesterday,” he whispers, “about how if you were just using someone you would have picked Derek.”

“And?” She doesn’t get why it’s a big deal because it makes perfect sense to her in her mind.

“And it hurt me,” he snaps, “quite a lot!?”

And the dam breaks.

“Because I proved to them that I’m not using you? Spencer do you know what I meant by that?” She snaps right back.

“What else could it mean?! Clearly I’m not hot enough for you to just fuck and toss aside—”

“I meant that I love you and that’s why I’m with you! If I was just using someone for a job then I’d fuck Derek cause he’s a one and done, toss them to the side and never see them again, kind of guy!”

“And?” He repeats her word choice in a snippy tone that makes her furious but she knows he’s just trying his best to understand her.

She sighs loudly and obnoxiously, “and you’re a take him to meet your mom, marry and have his babies, love him for the rest of your life and one day scatter his ashes, kind of lover.” Crying by the end, she wipes her tears and tries to stay somewhat presentable-looking.

He’s silent, eyes wide as he takes in all her words, “I have always loved you,” she adds, “and no matter how fucking angry I am or how stressed or upset, I am never going to stop loving you, Spencer.”

“Me either,” his tone is still just as upset, “and that's the part that sucks.”

“What do you mean?” She just poured her heart out to him and he still doesn’t get it.

“I LOVE YOU!” He screams it at her with his hands thrown in the air, “I love you more than I’ve loved anyone in my entire fucking life and it’s driving me crazy!”

“It’s driving you crazy?” She can’t help but laugh like she’s losing her mind, “I have been doing everything in my power to make you understand that I love you and you keep thinking I just want to be friends!”

“Because you said you loved me like a friend the first time?!”

“No, I fucking didn’t!” She is so frustrated she’s turning the same colour as her dress, steaming from her ears like a cartoon character.

“I asked if best friends can be in love because I wanted to see if you would say you loved me more than that, and then you fucking said “yeah cause that’s how I love you” which means you love me as a friend?!”

“Because I thought that’s what you wanted?!”

She can’t rub her eyes cause she’ll ruin her makeup but she is so mad she just wants to scream. Pressing her fingers to her own temples, she turns away from him and sighs, she loves him so much and yet this is the most frustrating thing that’s ever happened.

“You are so lucky,” she just laughs, shaking her head back and forth as she turns back to him, “you are so fuckin’ lucky.”

“Why?”

She wraps her arms around his middle and looks up into his eyes with one last sigh, “we have to go or we’ll be late, so I can’t explain all of my feelings right now, so let’s bench this conversation and I can show you just how much I love you when we get back?”

“Okay,” he nods. He rests his hands on her arms and he looks down with the softest glance, he’s still trying so hard to not cry. “I’m really sorry.”

“So am I, I should have listened to you better and explained myself more,” she whispers, “do you believe me now?”

He nods, “I told you, it’s hard for me.”

“I tried my best to be subtle so I didn’t scare you off, but I guess you really don’t do subtle?” She can’t help but laugh, “but I really do love you.”

His hands are on her cheeks, pulling her into a kiss, she melts against him. He breathes her in, it’s the longest and deepest kiss she’s ever had and she honestly feels like he’s taking her soul and making her his. She belongs to him and she knows it, now he does too.

“I love you, too.”

—

All eyes are on her and it makes him smile, she’s the only one in a red dress in a room full of black and white, she stands out like a sore thumb. She looks the most beautiful, she stands beside Spencer with her arm wrapped around his and a huge smile on her face, it makes him even happier to see her smile again.

The hardest part of fighting with her was knowing she was upset and that he was only making it worse. Seeing her smile return is everything to him, he loves her more than words can express and she loves him right back, he can tell by the way she smiles at him; because it’s exactly the same way he’s smiling at her.

“I see that you’ve made up,” Derek interrupts their current dance to say hello.

The BAU team was always so busy on nights like this, they had all the best stories and everyone wanted to hear them, which meant they typically didn’t see each other a lot for the whole night.

“We did,” Spencer smiles. “Thank’s Derek.”

She looks up at them both, confused, “how many of them know?”

“Huh?” He plays dumb but she can see right through him.

“Do they all know I’m not really your girlfriend or is it just Aaron, Derek and whoever else you told?”

“Elle,” he says her name. “I told the first girl I slept with that I was falling in love with you because I needed advice from someone who has already been with me and knows how I get.”

“Sick, cool, love that for you,” she smiles and walks away.

He grabs her and she stops, “I told you how much it hurt that I had no one to talk to and you told all of them? And you couldn’t even tell me you really loved me this whole time? I thought we were best friends Spencer?” She shakes her head, disappointed more than anything, swatting his hand off her as he reaches to stop her.

“Let her go, she’s right to be a little mad,” Derek holds him back. “let her be mad.”

“Why?” Spencer is so new to relationships he doesn’t know what he’s doing.

“She wants to be your girlfriend for real, let her calm down and then go apologize and ask her,” Derek's smile is sweet as he pulls Spencer into a hug.

It slowly becomes a dance, everyone is used to Derek being touchy with his friends, he has danced with everyone so far tonight so it’s only fair Spencer has a turn. Spencer holds him tight, eyes closed so he doesn’t have to think about all the attention he’s been getting since they arrived.

“Thank you for always being here for me,” he whispers, “but I have to go see her.”

“Fights like this just make your relationship stronger, it teaches you how she wants you to communicate, she just wants you to be honest with her, always,” he whispers with his cheek pressed to Spencer's, “and angry make-up sex is really fun.”

It makes him laugh, “thanks, but she won’t be sleeping with me for a few days, if my memory is correct then she’s mad for more than one reason.”

“Ah,” Derek gets it, “good luck my friend. Good luck.”

When Spencer pulls away, he heads in the direction Y/N left and follows the hallway as far as it goes. She’s sitting on a bench by a window, staring off at the night sky as she takes some deep breaths. She looks a little more peaceful, she’s had a really rough few weeks and he’s not making it any easier on her.

“I know two things for sure,” he speaks softly but she still jumps a little as she turns to him.

“What would they be?”

“That you’re the love of my life,” he’s confident as he sits on the bench beside her and takes her hand in his. “And I’m an idiot when it comes to love.”

“That is quite the dilemma,” she smirks, her eyes gleam as she looks at him and he knows she was trying not to cry by how glossy they are, but it makes her more beautiful, somehow.

“I’m really sorry.”

“All you have to do is tell me the truth, Spencer,” she places her hand on his leg and leans in with a whisper, “it’s really simple.”

“Truth is,” he whispers right back, lips close enough to kiss, “I’m never going to stop loving you, which means more stupid moments are in my future. Just so you know.”

She giggles and kisses him quickly, “I don’t mind being the smart one in the relationship, but you still have to ask.”

“Will you be my girlfriend and let me love you for the rest of my life, no matter how much I fuck up and drive you crazy?” He teases her, knowing she’ll say yes regardless.

“On one condition,” she can’t hide the smirk on her face and he’s nervous at what she’s thinking.

“Anything?”

“You let me love you for just as long? If not longer.”

He nods, “forever?”

She nods back before kissing him just as deeply as they did that morning, her hands in his hair as she presses his face into her’s with force. She holds him there and breathes him in, pulling back with a classic smooch sound, she smiles again, “you’re my boyfriend now.”

He nods with a small smile, “what should we do first as boyfriend and girlfriend?”

She bites her lip and pretends to think about it for a moment, “fuck in the linen closet down the hall?”

“I don’t have any condoms on me?” Is his only worry, not getting caught, not that all their bosses and superiors were there, just that he didn’t have a condom.

She pulls one out of her bra with a smile, “Savannah gave this to me about 3 minutes before you came over here.”

“How much make-up sex do they have?” He asks as he takes her hand and leads her down the hallway.

She’s giddy and smiling, her heels click on the floor as they rush to the other end of the hall and open the little door. There are shelves with towels and rolls upon rolls of silverware in cloth napkins. A vacuum in the corner, some brooms and just enough room for them.

She pulls him in closer and shuts the door, reconnecting their lips as she pushes him up against it. Hands reaching for his belt she kisses down his neck and he’s like putty in her hands as soon as she strokes him, he moans by accident and she covers his mouth with her free hand.

“Do you have any idea how turned on you make me? I have wanted to fuck you since I first saw you, 6 years ago…”

“Really?” His muffled voice behind her hand makes her laugh. She removes her hand and instead runs her fingers through his hair while taking a moment to look at him and really take it all in.

“Yeah,” she nods, “which is why I asked to sleep with you on the way home from the bar, I didn’t know if I could handle it either it, but I’ve always wanted Doctor Reid from the BAU to rail me. I just didn’t think we’d end up falling in love?”

“No one has ever admitted to having a crush on me and meant it,” he whispers.

“I’m glad I get to be one of your firsts,” she smiles again before he pulls her into another kiss.

She kisses the side of his mouth and then his jaw, down his neck and then she’s dropping to her knees in front of him. He’s hard in her hands but he twitches as he sees her like this, looking up at him with lust-blown eyes as she strokes him, she flattens her tongue and taps the tip of his cock to it.

He has to cover his own mouth or else he’s going to get them caught, he moans at the feeling, closing his eyes and that's when she takes him in her mouth. His free hand is in her hair, careful not to mess it up but enough grip to steady himself.

He tilts his head back against the door with a knock and a sign, “fuck,” he can’t help but talk into his hand which only makes it sound louder in the tight space.

She feels so good every single time and yet this one feels different, he looks down at her and she pulls off, “what’s wrong?”

“I love you,” he shrugs.

He helps her back up to her feet and she backs up against the shelves, “come here?”

He helps her hike her dress up, holding all the material up as he slips her underwear off and takes that condom back out of her bra with a single kiss to her chest. He rolls it over himself and lines up with her, her arms wrap around his shoulders as she looks at him, “show me how much you love me?”

He slides in and they don’t break eye contact as she takes him, her mouth opens in a silent gasp at the feeling, her hands grip his shoulders tighter as she steadies her ass on a shelf and wraps her legs around him while he bottoms out.

With a hand on her cheek and one on her lower back, he pulls out and thrusts back in with a smile as she bites back a moan, she pulls his face in close to hers to kiss him while he fucks her. The hand on his cheek slides down her neck, applying a small amount of pressure that makes her breathing hitch. She swallows sharply before his hand starts to trail over her breasts and then between them.

With a thumb on her clit, he fucks her a little harder while rubbing his thumb in a circle. She’s breathing heavily into his mouth, placing sloppy kisses against each other as they enjoyed each other.

She’s so close and he knows it, and then there is a knock on the door.

“Spence, we have a case when you’re done?” He hears Derek's voice behind the door and he can’t believe it.

“Okay!” He calls back without stopping, instead, he fucks into her a little faster.

“Oh!” She moans by accident before covering her mouth with a slap and wide eyes, moaning behind her hand as she bounces on his cock.

He kisses her hand, making her move it so he can press his lips back to hers and absorb all the noises she was going to make, her hands both reach for his back, gripping his suit jacket so tight he’s afraid she might rip it.

She cums with a shocked gasp, it’s as quiet as possible but it still echos around them as he gets closer and closer. He buries his face in her neck and accidentally moans as well as he cums, stilling his hips as he holds her there, sputtering his hips against hers as they catch their breath.

“I love you,” he manages to say between breaths, “that much.”

“You need to go,” she smiles.

He kisses her one last time before he pulls out, he loves the way she gasps every time he does so. She smiles after, their teeth clashing as they laugh, “I’m going to get in so much trouble.”

“I’m never going to get a job,” she shakes her head as she gets off the shelf and fixes her dress.

He takes off the condom and wraps it in some paper towel on the shelf, he’ll get rid of it later. She picks up her underwear, he thinks she puts them back on, but she really slides them into his pocket for him to find in the middle of the case when he reaches for something important...

—

She rides back to headquarters with Penelope and JJ, both of them want to ask and she knows it. Mainly because she looks like she’s had sex, and also because she asks to stop at the academy so she can get another pair of underwear from her locker.

It’s not until they’re in Penelope’s office that they ask, “what’s it like?”

“What’s what like?” She plays dumb.

“Dating Spencer?” Penelope says, “more specifically, having sex with him?” She mumbles and it makes Y/N laugh.

“In total, we’ve been having sex for 3 weeks now and I’ve had 21 orgasms, and we only really fuck on the weekends cause that’s when we’re not busy…” she grinds her teeth slightly with a raised brow, taking a deep breath, “yeah. It’s really great.”

“Holy shit?” They both look more shocked than she’s ever seen them. “How many has he had?” Penelope asks with a quiet voice, pretending she didn’t.

She laughs slightly, “like maybe 14? He’s really generous.”

“What the fuck?” JJ turns to Penelope and shakes her head and there’s something more there that Y/N can sense.

“Who’s Elle?” She asks and they both turn to her with the biggest eyes.

“How do you know about Elle?”

“She’s the first person he slept with?”

“When?” They both shout.

“So he wasn’t kidding. You guys really thought he was a virgin this whole time?” She looks at them like they’re crazy. “How?”

They both just shake their heads and sigh, stuttering and looking for words they don’t have. “We just never thought he could?”

“Snooze ya loose, I guess?” She shrugs, “so what is the case and how can I help?”

“Right! We have a case,” Penelope snaps back into it, “but seriously Elle? Are you sure you have your names right?”

“Penelope,” she looks at her seriously.

“Right, they’re headed to Roanoke.”

There was a child abduction of a 6-year-old girl, CARD and the BAU were both called out and that meant everyone was mingling on the two floors and they would use as much help as possible.

It also turns out that Anderson’s surrogate went into labour a little earlier than anyone expected; so he and his husband have left for paternity leave early. Leaving JJ without an assistant and she really needs help in the office for this one.

She catches on rather quickly, knowing the protocols from her training and she’s not afraid to ask questions. She’s still in her dress, her heels click on the tiles as she rushes around with files, making phone calls and running from the briefing room to Penelope’s office.

When they finally crack the case and apprehend the suspect, she sits down finally. It’s been 11 hours since the banquet, and she was exhausted beyond belief. She never slept the night before, Spencer was uncomfortable and she was in her jeans and when she did fall asleep, he was waking her up moments later to get ready.

It's Sunday morning at 9 am when Spencer finally returns back at headquarters. She’s sitting at his desk when he comes up and wraps his arms around her, “we’re going home, come on.”

“Don’t you have to debrief?”

“Did that on the way back,” he turns her around in the role chair and tilts her head up to look at him, she’s so tired and he can tell. “You have a big day tomorrow.”

“Ugh,” she stands up with his help, “I did enough profiling today and now I have a whole week to get through.”

“Just to come back and work here,” he smiles, “if you still want to?”

She wraps him up in a real hug and nods against him, “it’s so fun, even with all the murder.”

“Coming home to this is really nice,” he whispers before kissing her cheek quickly, “I’m glad you like it here.”

“Well, well, well,” Derek's voice is behind them. They pull away to see him smiling, arms wide as he saunters over, “if it isn’t the new romantics.”

“Did you have any suspicions?” Y/N asks, he was a profiler after all.

“I knew something was up,” he’s honest. “I knew you guys were actually doing stuff together, I just didn’t think there was so much angst behind closed doors?”

“You have no idea,” Y/N laughs, holding Spencer closer, “it took too long.”

“I thought you were fighting about the job, cause he wasn’t really upset until you were in Penelope’s office, and I heard the rumours even before he heard what you said,” Derek smiles again, “but I also knew you loved him and he loves you.”

“Correct,” she can’t help but smile. “But we really should head home.”

“Home we go,” Spencer agrees.

—

She asks him to unzip her dress the second they’re back in her apartment. She drops the dress to the floor and heads to the bathroom and he’s left alone in her room. It feels different now. He remembers kissing her in the living room for the first time like it was yesterday, he remembers the first time they had sex, the first time he said I love you, and now he’s here and she’s his girlfriend and he’s going to get to make more memories with her.

He’s so embarrassed by how much he’s been crying lately, something about being in his mid-30s was making him feel like he was about to go through menopause— he has never been very openly emotional, but it’s about time he lets himself feel. He wipes the tears and turns to face the wall while he takes his suit off.

He’s been through too much, a lot of which she doesn’t know of. She has promised him forever, whether she means it or not, and he’s worried he’s going to fuck it up before he gets there.

When she comes back, she lays a towel down on her side of the bed and gets in, “guess who got her period on her first day of work?”

“No?” He gasps, playing along with her playful mood. “At least you’re not pregnant.”

“Thank god,” she sighs, “please for the love of God, don’t get me pregnant for at least 5 years? I want a decent career first so that I don't miss much on maternity leave. I really don't want to be benched for having kids.”

He cries again and she looks so concerned as she gets out of bed and wraps her arms around him, “what did I say wrong, Spencer?”

Still facing the wall, he just lets it all out, “I’m sorry.”

“For what, sweetheart?” She attempts to soothe him by running her hands down his arms, “for crying or something else?”

“Crying,” he whispers and she turns him around then.

“Hey,” she looks up at him with the softest expression he’s ever seen, “you are allowed to have emotions, you are allowed to show them and ask for help and tell me when you need something. I’m not going to think you’re too much, or I can’t handle you or think of you as a burden. I know that’s how you feel because it’s how I fell, and we don’t need to go through that together.”

“I love you,” it’s the only thing that feels right to say.

“I love you,” she repeats it, “what made you cry?”

“Can we get in bed first?”

“Yeah, finish getting ready and then come tell me,” she whispers before reaching up and pressing a kiss to his lips.

He slips away to go to the bathroom, brushing his teeth and washing his face. He’s exhausted but he doesn’t want to miss any time with her. He hurries back to her side, getting into bed in his underwear and making sure both his phones are on the night table, charged and ready if they need him.

But until then, he belonged to her.

“Are you sure you don’t want to sleep?” It’s the first thing he asks because he knows she has a big day tomorrow. “It can wait.”

“What’s that thing you say about intermittent sleep is actually better?”

“Don’t use my words against me, I do that so people don’t stop me from doing what I think I deserve,” he’s truthful. “I’m not going to ever lie or fib to you again. I hate myself, and if I don’t feel like I’ve done enough I won't sleep or eat sometimes.”

“I do that too,” she’s not proud, “are you trying to tell me you cried cause you’re hungry or tired?”

“No,” he smiles, “but thank you for asking for clarification, I like this new system.”

“Me too.”

“I cried because I really love you and I’m realizing this is all real and I’m going to get to make good memories with you, and when you said kids, even in a hypothetical sense, it made it feel real for me,” he whispers the words before pressing his lips together awkwardly.

She glows in the lap light like she did that first night, “it’s a weird concept, isn’t it? The future. At some point I’m going to have known you longer than anyone, one day we’ll have lived with each other longer than we’ve lived apart. We might be grandparents together one day? It’s all weird to think about.”

“Do you seriously want all that with me?” He’s asking because he has another question to ask right after.

“Yes, Spencer,” she laughs. “I really do.”

“Would you like to Marry me?”

“Seriously?” Her eyes widen and her jaw drops and he’s never seen her look this stunned before.

He nods, “my mom isn’t going to able to appreciate my wedding the longer I wait, and if you really mean it; I’d like to have a wedding with my mom there while she remembers me.”

“I know her birthday is coming up, but can we bring her here instead?”

“Why?”

“My parents decided to drive from Salam to here for my graduation and use the flight money on a nice Airbnb for the week. We should do it while they’re all here because I don’t know when they’d be able to come back,” she has had the same worries about her parents missing her life.

“I’ll ask my mom,” he smiles. “So we’re getting married?”

“in like a week,” she laughs, “oh fuck, how are we going to do that in a week?”

He rolls over and grabs his personal phone, he dials a number and she looks even more confused now.

“Hey Penelope, how fast can you plan a wedding?”

~

Permanent tag list:

@g0lden-cth @doctorspenceryeet @samuel-de-champagne-problems @reiding-recs @ssavanessa22 @spookyspence @shemarmooresfedora @reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @jswessie187 @k-k0129 @blanchardsbk @idonotexiste @measure-in-pain @dreams-in-blxck @doc-padfoot @nomajdetective @xoxomgg @mggswhorificlover @dinonuggets1967 @Meganskane @gubeskneescrew

New Romantics:

@bunny-script @ficsrecsforhrnybitches @ne--yo-pets @rexorangecouny @valerieweasley @beepbooptoop @coldlilheart @andiebeaword @anonymous-reading

[dat-town]

wish you were here

Characters: Mark Lee & you

Setting: wish dragon au (and a bit of aladdin because mark even has a tiger in their garden like jasmine did. don’t ask why, just blame the regular mv), childhood best friends to lovers (at least there’s potential?)

Genre: fluff and humour

Warnings: mentions of a sick animal and a wild animal kept as a pet in a huge garden (just like jasmine’s tiger, it’s very tamed)

Summary: A magical teapot, a dragon that wants everyone to be happy and an old friendship being revived. Oh yeah, have I told you that you have 3 wishes?

Words: 6.4k

For @restlessmaknae​ 💕

When your mother told you you got delivery to your childhood home, you certainly did not expect this: a brown box as big as a small watermelon with your old Canadian address and MARK LEE scrabbled next to your name as another recipient but no sender. Not to mention, the first stamp on the thing was dating back to the early 2010s. Where the hell was this package for 10 years? And what would you and your old neighbour slash best friend have gotten together?

Okay, first things first:

You and this clumsy, kind of cute kid, Mark had been quite tight while growing up. You were born in the same year, only a month apart, and his family lived in the house next to yours in the suburbs of Vancouver, so it was kind of natural. You two might have been against the world kind of comrades, playing hide and seek when you were six and wondering about whether time travelling was possible through black holes at twelve. But no matter how close you used to be, you fell out of touch when Mark's family moved to the other end of the world, back to Korea, their roots when you were fourteen. You slowly forgot about him, and started university in the city, moving away from home, so nothing really reminded you of him ⎼ and your stupid, big fat crush on him that you had no courage to tell him about in middle school ⎼, nothing until this box.

You put the delivered package on your kitchen table while you make some dinner for yourself out of what you have gotten during grocery shopping earlier just before you picked up the mysterious stuff at the post office. You eye it suspiciously over your pasta, really not wrapping your mind about what it could be but instead of annoying yourself with this pointless curiosity, you put your fork down and stand up to open it. It’s a struggle at first, the box being secured with multiple adhesive tapes over the years but when you finally get rid of all that and can look inside of it, an intense feeling rushes through you… immerse disappointment.

“A teapot? For real? What were we thinking?” you furrow your brows taking the small, green and pretty old teapot into your hands. It looks like a piece of a traditional Asian set with its jade colour and dragon pattern. It couldn’t have been in a much better shape 10 years ago either seeing how wayworn it is but still, you expected something more… exciting? Something funny that might or might not give you an excuse to look up Mark Lee on the internet and message him for the sake of old times. But how lame it would be to befriend him on Facebook only to tell him that you got delivered a teapot under both your names. Hah, you would rather not embarrass yourself like that.

You shoot one last glance at the teapot before leaving it on your counter and going back to your food, you successfully forget about the whole ordeal. You carry your life on with only one small difference: Mark Lee back on your mind after long, long years.

It was just a small crush, you tell yourself, sighing as you look into the mirror, absentmindedly wondering how he’s doing. Does he think of you sometimes as well? Did he go to music college like he has always wanted? Is he happy? You wish he was even if he’s half a world away and with that thought you think it’s time to go to sleep despite the upcoming weekend days. You don’t want to mess up your sleep schedule over some boy but as soon as you pull the blanket over your chest and close your eyes, something explodes in your kitchen.

You jump out of bed faster than lightning, in slight panic over the fact that your neighbours will hate you for bothering them late at night and your landlord would kill you if you managed to blow up your microwave. But the sight that welcomes you is like no other that you imagined. The whole room is covered in thick pink glittery smoke. Like your worst Barbie nightmare.

“What the⎼” you cough, waving your hands to clear the air and once it dissolves into nothingness with its weirdly cotton candy smell, there’s a boy in the middle of it all, sitting cross legged on your kitchen counter so casually as if he owned the place. His pink-ish purple hair hangs into his eyes and he seems to find your coffee machine strangely interesting. You grab the first thing you can ⎼ a blender ⎼ and hold it up in defensive before yelling at the boy: “Who the hell are you and what are you doing in my apartment?”

The stranger’s mouth pulls up in a charming smile, his eyes sparkle as he turns his attention to you, hopping off the counter. He’s all thin and long limbs, so you hate how you hate to look up at him as he walks towards you before bowing ceremoniously.

“Hello, sorry for the sudden appearance, I just couldn’t wait any longer! I’ve been stuck in that teapot waaay too long. I didn’t mean to be rude or anything. My name is Taeyong, I’m a wish dragon and you’re my new owner,” he smiles and what he says makes absolutely no sense.

“A wish dragon?” you mumble in shock, looking around to see if this is just another prank of Johnny. You wouldn’t be surprised to see him jump out from under one of the cupboards. Or maybe you just fell asleep and you’re dreaming. Yeah, that seems like a realistic scenario.

“Ah, yes! I know I don’t look like it but modern times require modern solutions. Most people freak out because of my dragon form, so human it is,” the boy who seems only a few years older than you grins as he’s chatting and you have to give it to him, he takes this role pretty seriously. “You have three wishes as my owner. You can ask for anything as long as it’s not about death or love.”

So you got yourself someone who thinks he’s basically a genie? Oh gosh, is he that drunk?

“Aha, very funny. I’m too tired for this prank, so I would appreciate it if you left the same way you came...” you point towards your window because there’s no way he came through the door. Putting down your blender because the guy looks pretty harmless despite his crazy blabbering, you move to go back to your bedroom.

“No, no, no, I can’t do that,” the boy, Taeyong as he introduced himself, appears in front of you within a second and grabs your shoulder as if he could shake some sense into you. He looks pretty desperate. “I can only get a new owner if I fulfill all wishes of yours. It was super stuffy in that box the last decade, you know.”

At that excuse you let out a laugh.

“You don’t even fit it the⎼”

“You were saying?” Taeyong is suddenly nowhere near ahead of you but instead a small creature, supposedly a dragon, in the size of your palm flies in front of your eye level. “It’s magic!”

Okay, now that sight makes you feel like it’s you who is drunk. Or worse.

“Am I dead?” you have to ask in a small, uncertain voice, trying to think back what could have happened. Maybe that explosion literally blew your apartment up? But it hurts when you pinch your arm and turning back into his human form, Taeyong wants to prove the very same thing. Not the hurting but the not dead part, obviously.

“No, you’re very much alive and a happy owner of a wish dragon. Not permanently, of course, but still,” he tells you as he drags you onto your couch in the living room. As if sitting down could help processing all this.

So you have a wish dragon in your home, a magical creature that can casually switch between its dragon and human form and he says you should wish for three things, so he could leave and you could go back to your old, boring life without magic and things that scare you to death at 11PM.

“Can I ask… why? Why me? I’m not really owner-material,” you whisper because heck yeah, you even managed to kill your cactus before. Taeyong purses his lips as he sits down, a hand at his chin.

“Well, it’s unusual indeed to have a peasant girl, no offence, as my owner but as far as I know, you and your friend asked for a sign that magic was real.”

Oh, you remember that, being so obsessed with shooting stars and other stuff like that, you two used Mark’s brother’s computer to browse the internet, trying to find evidence about all that. You were kids wanting to believe in a world beyond the one you knew. But...

“That was like 10 years ago,” you furrow your eyebrows, not getting the timing.

“Well, sorry, you weren’t put on the top of the Heaven wish list and the shipping from Shanghai to Vancouver isn’t the fastest either,” Taeyong shrugs as if it was supposed to be natural. As if that was the most unbelievable thing. Well, delivery services are sometimes a pain in the ass, that’s true but getting a wish delivered by Heaven was something you would have never thought of and it all drains down on you. Strangest realisation of your life.

“So… it’s all real,” you whisper ahead of yourself: magic, dragons and all that. You could basically see your old best friend’s I told you so smile and let out a soft chuckle. “I wish Mark could meet with you, too.”

At that the guy ahead of you claps his hands and rubs them together, creating the same purple smoke from before. You look at him alarmed.

“Your wish, my command,” Taeyong grins and lifts his hands and before you could make a sound of protest because gosh, you didn’t mean it literally, you feel the ground move under your feet and you’re falling, into the darkness but despite shutting your eyes automatically, fearing the impact of the crash, nothing comes. Only the smell of soy sauce in the air and warm sunshine on your skin… Wait, what?

Your eyelids fly open and you notice in shock that you’re not in your flat anymore, ready to sleep. Instead, you stand in the middle of a goddamn street somewhere in Korea based on the signs still in your PJ shorts and tee. Oh my gosh! You hide in an alley right away and yank the seemingly proud Taeyong with you.

“I didn’t tell you that I meant right now! I can’t meet Mark in my PJs and I need my phone and wallet to function anyways. Not to mention, I don’t speak Korean at all...” you ramble panicking, the realisation that you’re indeed on the other side of the Earth due to some magic is yet to register. But the awkwardness from the stares you have just gotten has already turned you bashful.

Listening to you, the wish dragon seems sheepish and slightly embarrassed as he scratched his nape, his colourful hair falling into his cast down eyes.

“Oh… sorry. I got so excited over the wish that I didn’t think about it! It’s been a while since I did teleport magic but hey, I still have it in me. Anyways, sorry. Phone and wallet, you said? Here you go,” he pulls out something from his pants which magically seems to be indeed your belongings. That definitely makes things earlier.

“Uhm, thanks. Where are we exactly?”

“Ah, well you mentioned your friend Mark Lee, so we’re here. Well, one bell away because I did remember that it’s rude to intrude other’s houses without permission first,” oh now, you know, you snicker internally and gulp because hell, even if you wanted to see Mark, you wouldn’t have thought that the meeting would come so soon. You didn’t have enough time to prepare yourself mentally.

“So… you’re telling me that this… is where Mark lives?” you point at the impressive apartment complex on the corner of the street but Taeyong shakes his head.

“Nope, This is where your Mark lives,” he says and before you could object about the ‘your’ part, the dragon points at the other side of the road at a luxurious house with a huge garden, basically a palace. Seeing the beautiful fountain, the modern and yet traditional Korean style building beyond the fences makes your jaw drop.

“Hahaha, alright for a magic dragon you must have made a mistake. There’s no way the Mark Lee I know lives here,” you look back at Taeyong finding it funny that the kid who used to wore his favourite tees until his mother basically threw them out would live at such a place.

“Mark Lee, korean name Minhyung, supposed to be 22 years old internationally soon. Bad eyesight, contagious laugh, clumsy but has surprisingly good reflexes, gets embarrassed easily. Sound familiar?” Taeyong crooks a brow at you as he reads the information off from a parchment he just took out of his pants. Everything he listed is just so Mark that you’re left in disbelief.

“Uuh… that sounds about right.”

“His father hit it big in 2016 with a tech company, their net worth has too many zeros to count,” Taeyong explains, seeing how surprised you were over the fact that he lived a lavish life like this. Not that he doesn’t deserve it! Mark is such a sweetheart, so of course, you would only want the best for him but as if half the world wasn’t enough, now you have another huge gap between you.

“Gosh, I really can’t believe this. How am I supposed to just ring the bell and say hello after so much time?” you sighed with your head in your hands. “Argh, I need to buy some clothes and change.”

Taeyong approves the idea based on how enthusiastically he hollers, you wonder why nobody on the street seems to pay no attention to him. Maybe only you see him, just more reason for you to be crazy.

“Good idea because we’re having dinner with Mark!”

“What?” you look up in shock, not following through. Taeyong grins down at you, flashing a giddy smile and with a twirl he’s changed from his baggy, casual clothes to something more chic but still laidback.

“Your wish was him meeting me, so I arranged everything. I can't meet him without you and the teapot there, you know,” he explains as if it was supposed to be obvious. You aren't ready yet though.

“You just want to eat all the fancy delicious food he has,” you squint at him suspiciously and the dragon stays silent, so you must be right. He laughs nervously.

“Maybe, but can you blame me? I haven’t had a feast since a literal decade!” he hollers and somehow you really cannot find it in yourself to be angry at him. You are in Seoul for god's sake after all and magic is real, you can put up with the inconvenience of buying clothes and making yourself look decent before dumping all this surprise on Mark.

An hour later you stand in front of the gates of the Lee mansion and nervously you wipe your sweating hands into your dress. You can totally do this, you just say hi to an old friend, it's not like you're afraid he wouldn't remember you, hah, of course not–

"Y/N!" 

You whip your head at the call of your name to the source of that all too familiar voice. Sure it's deeper than you remember but there's no mistake in whose it is. Plus, who else would call your name in South Korea of all places.

"Mark, hey!" you wave the boy who just got out of one of the fanciest cars you've ever seen in your life. And yet, despite the Prada suit and expensive shoes, styled hair and Swiss watch on wrist, Mark Lee still has that goofy little smile and the doe eyes that used to make you weak in the knees. Hah, who are you kidding? They still do.

"Oh my god, dude, you… you got pretty," Mark jogs up to you and having no filter like always he blabbers immediately only to stutter as his ears turn red. It was so him talking before thinking, so you didn’t really mean to dwell on his words. Although you felt your cheeks dusted with pink soon enough. "I mean, it's really good to see you! I was so surprised to see your name in my calendar for today's dinner! You should have told me you were coming to Korea, I would have picked you up at the airport."

His calendar? Ah, of course, he must have been busy and all that. You wouldn’t have been surprised to see an assistant run after him at this point, so you wonder how your wish dragon magically put you onto his list of important people to meet. Gosh, it was so weird.

"Ah, I have a funny story about that…" you chuckled to yourself but before you could have get out anything, even a please, can we go to a more private place? Mark’s eyes zero on the guy next to you and his eyes grow comically wide.

"And uhm, who is your friend?" he points at Taeyong who waves him in exchange with a kilowatt smile. He looks back at you with his mouth agapé. "Oh my god, you came to invite me to your wedding?"

He says oh my god way too many times for an eloquent rich kid, he really is the Mark Lee you knew.

"No, never! I mean, of course, I would invite you but Taeyong and I– I literally met him on my way here," you explain hastily cursing yourself for the silly lie. You came to tell him the news not to try to make it believable. 

“I heard there’s food,” the wish dragon pipes in very helpful and you shoot him a disapproving glance he doesn’t notice. Luckily, Mark doesn’t seem to mind.

“Oh, yeah, of course, dinner! Come on in, let’s get you two settled,” he grins albeit a bit awkwardly as he leads you through the gate after opening it with his card.

On the way through the very, very, very big garden, he’s chattering about how he misses the Vancouver weather, especially on humid, hot days like this and talks about how he thinks the fountain in their yard is a bit too much but his mom loved it and then before you know it, you sit by a huge dining table with fine food in front of you. Suddenly you can’t decide whether you're grateful for Taeyong’s shameless presence – he digs into the jjigae right away – because at least the situation isn’t awkward because of your silence or you’re annoyed by it because you must seem like a weirdo because of him. That’s why you decide to rip off the bandage and tell Mark as soon as the last maid has disappeared too.

“Okay, so actually I came here because I have a surprise,” you speak up, probably too serious because the boy almost chokes on his food due to how fast he turns his head towards you.

“More surprise?” he coughs out and you offer him a glass of water which he takes with a smile.

“You literally won’t believe this one!” you assure him and wait until he gulps down the drink. Only then you point to Taeyong and tell him that your childhood wish has come true. 

Mark almost falls off his chair this time.

Not after you tell him that though. He laughs at that with that wheezing laugh of his as if you told the joke of the century then pats you on the shoulder murmuring That was a good one, bro and turning back to his food. But then you look at the magic dragon pointedly and Taeyong puts down his chopsticks with an exaggerated sign. Then he flexes his magic: turning into his dragon form among additional sparkles and Mark suddenly looks like he’s about to faint. He reaches out to tap on your shoulder while not taking his eyes off the wish dragon.

“Am I dreaming?” he whispers and honestly, you totally get his reaction while Taeyong mumbles something about ‘people these days not believing in dragons’ as he shows off all the things he could do: gift riches, make one stronger than they are, giving skills of whatever one wants. He starts rambling about how this one Chinese emperor became wealthy thanks to this, how that one actor in martial arts and all this before changing back to his human form and he continues eating his pasta like nothing ever happened.

“I can do this all day,” he shrugs as if he didn’t just perform the coolest magic tricks.

“This… this is the best thing ever!” Mark exclaims with those sparkles in his eyes you missed so much. He was always so excited about new things and it automatically makes you smile how he bombards Taeyong with million questions like: ‘So you are the wish dragon that grants wishes?’ or asking him about his scales, his unique color, how it feels to live in such a small teapot, how old he is and the dragon glows under all the attention. Can’t blame him but Mark has always been so curious about the world, it’s endearing.

“So your first wish was to meet me?” he turns to you after long minutes of interrogating Taeyong and suddenly, under the spotlight you don’t know what to do with yourself. You can feel yourself blushing because you didn’t necessarily mean to wish for that but it’s not like you’re regretting it, it’s just… you don’t want him to misunderstand.

“I thought you should meet him, too, after all the package was delivered for the two of us,” you look down, trying to sound nonchalant while picking your food, avoiding Mark’s gaze. No matter how open armed he welcomed you, you still aren’t convinced that it’s okay to be here because the more time you spend with him, the more you would like to stay a part of his life. “It’s just… I wasn’t really sure we could ever meet again. We didn’t keep contact after you left.”

With dropped shoulders, you try not to sound too downhearted because of what happened because you know all too well, it wasn’t his fault, it was a family decision and look at him, it did good for him! He seems happy, they live in a practically mansion but most importantly, he didn’t seem to change with the wealth. He might wear expensive clothes but under it all he’s still the boy with the most loveable smile.

“I… I was thinking about you a lot, I just thought you forgot about me,” Mark admits with a sheepish smile, tucking his hair behind his ear shyly. He really still is the same and it’s playing silly little games with your heart. If this was a cheesy Disney movie, a slow bgm would start to play as you look into each other but your moment is broken when Taeyong accidentally kicks into his chair as he stands up. At first he looks alarmed but then giggles.

“I will just… go. Don’t mind me,” he disappears like smoke with a wink, leaving you two alone at which Mark lets out a woah. You chuckle at his cute reaction, heart doing somersaults in your chest.

You thought it would be awkward, just the two of you alone after long years but Mark has this thing that he makes people feel comfortable around him, so it’s actually quite nice. You catch up on everything and anything that comes to your mind: old neighbours, studies, friends, what are you doing now and what would you like to do, too.

After finishing the delicious dinner, Mark offers a home tour which you would never refuse and you jaw drops at the huge crystal chandelier in their living room as well as their swimming pool but your favourite place in the whole mansion is Mark’s room because it’s just so him. You can’t describe it well but the moment you step inside, it feels like home. It’s cozy to the point it makes you want to cuddle a pillow. It has colours of pastels, a synthesizer here, a guitar there, posters of singers framed on his wall and vinyl records hanging down. His window has a view of sunset and Namsan above their green garden and although you haven’t been in Seoul before, you’re pretty sure it’s your favourite place in the whole damn city, too.

“Wait, there’s someone I would like you to meet,” Mark suddenly exclaims while you’re looking through his pictures and he pulls you out of his room, out of the house, into the garden: You giggle all the way as he’s being so secretive about it but then your steps halt unexpectedly and the hand you have in Mark’s yanks him back.

“Mark… why is there a tiger in your garden in the middle of Seoul?” you ask as quietly and as immobile as you can. You don’t want to attract the sleeping animal’s attention to yourself. But to your biggest surprise, the boy just laughs, his thumb caressing your skin soothingly.

“She’s Jasmine and she won’t hurt you,” he reassures you but needless to say, you’re not too calm and you’re pulled close to the wild animal that lifts its huge head towards you lazily. “She was abandoned by her mother as a cub and she was outcast in the zoo because she’s a bit sick, so she has always been weaker than her siblings. Dad made a donation and we have raised her since she was young.”

You hiss when Mark reaches out without fear but the tiger basically purrs as he strokes down his fur at the neck. You watch in awe as this big wild animal becomes a soft cat under the hands of Mark Lee. When the boy encourages you to pat her too, you hesitate but he promises you that it’s gonna be alright and you take a leap of faith. 

“What’s her sickness?” you wonder aloud as your fingers get lost in the soft fur of the tiger. You hope she’s not in a lot of pain.

“It’s an immune system thing, not sure what exactly but she wouldn’t have survived this long in the wild,” the boy tells you and his mouth curls up in a smile when Jasmine licks your hand. It seems like you’re tiger-approved. You look into its warm brown eyes and your heart churns at the thought of her condition.

Mark tells you stories of Jasmine, about that one time she crashed his birthday cake or how much she likes to swim with him in their pool during summer and gosh, you could listen to him go on and on forever. You’re only reminded of the reality, that all this is just a possible one-time thing, a weekend getaway with magic when Taeyong shows up in swimwear, ready to crash in said pool.

“I guess he might have been bored in that teapot,” Mark laughs, not minding at all. He even offers you to join but you have a better idea.

“Taeyong, I have my second wish!” you call out for the wish dragon who’s suddenly much more excited about that than the water. He’s beside you in a moment, beaming and curious. You glance at Mark with a soft smile before looking at your personal genie confidently.

“I wish Jasmine would be healthy,” you whisper, playing with the tiger’s furry ears which she seems to enjoy. You were a little bit afraid the dragon would say it’s not possible, that he can’t cure sickness but to your relief, he just grins.

“Your wish, my command,” he nods and puts a hand over the animal. Nothing but a smoke of purple signals the magic being done but you believe in it and so does Mark by the looks of it. He reaches out for your hand and squeezes it gently. 

“Thank you,” he smiles and you smile back. He used to be your best friend after all, it’s the least you can do for him.

Mark convinces you to stay the weekend and there’s no way you could tell no to him, not when he clears his schedule just for you. He never complains about how busy he must be working for his father’s business while being a music major at a local university. All he ever talks about is the places he wishes to show you and he takes you around Seoul as if he was your certificated tour guide. It’s lovely how enthusiastic he is about it while what really matters to you is the time you spend together. He makes sure you two take a million photos to remember by, Taeyong posing on half of them since he joins you on your little trips and sometimes it’s just the two of you watching the wish dragon being genuinely in awe by modern technology, 10 years is a long time after all.

On the last day before you have to go back to Vancouver (thanks to Taeyong’s kind offer to take you the same way you came back since he misunderstood you, you don’t have to sit through a 10+ hours flight and you have more time), Mark not only tries to make you breakfast despite having an in-house chef (his eggs are ugly as heck but you appreciate his efforts and can’t help but coo at his dreamy smile under that grey hoodie when you tell him it tastes yummy) but he also introduces you to his friends in Korea. Of course, they tease you (mostly Mark) about where he has been hiding you but it’s all chill and fun you’re not quite ready to say goodbye. But you should go because the more you stay, the more you don’t want to leave. You’re lucky enough for this chance to reunite with Mark but all good things end eventually.

“Let’s not disappear from each other’s life again, okay?” the boy grins at you as you’re ready to go, Taeyong already working on his magic.

“Yeah, let’s not,” you agree easily, looking forward to your video chatting and constant texting even if it’s from the two opposite ends of the Earth with a terrible time zone difference.

You glance at the wish dragon who’s drumming with his fingers while pursing his lips as if he was waiting for something and you let out a huff before working up the courage to actually do something about these feelings inside of you. You might have regretted not confessing in middle school, you have spent years wondering about the what ifs, so you don’t want to make the same mistake twice but still, you want to give Mark a chance to ignore it all if he wants to. So you step forward and wrap your hands around him as you hug him close. It’s obvious that your action takes him aback, he suddenly doesn’t know what to do with his hands and his body tenses under you but it all melts as you say those words that have been threatening to fall from your lips all this time:

“I have missed you.” you confess, honest and based on the hitch in his breathing, Mark must be surprised. You can’t blame him though, you just wanted him to know. You step back with a weary smile, his big Bambi eyes on you but before he could say anything you nod at Taeyong and you feel yourself falling, purple fog pulling you in. A few moments later you’re back in Vancouver, in your apartment, without him.

The first few days pass in a blurr, you can still barely believe what just happened. Your weekend with Mark feels like a too good dream but Mark kept his side of promise and texted you almost immediately as you left. He sends you selfies, songs that remind him of you and you talk about your days like you never did before. Still, it feels like you’re dancing around certain topics which are basically the elephant in the room and maybe that’s why Taeyong tries to cheer you up in his own way. Though, he soon realizes that you not being happy isn’t the problem, you are happy, you just… miss Mark more than you ever did.

“Enough of moping, you still have a wish left!” Taeyong exclaims, throwing himself onto your bed. “Come on, close your eyes, imagine what you want the most in the world and make a wish!" he singsongs. However, before you could even just indulge him, your phone pings with a new notification.

fullsun00 tagged you in their post!

You click on it right away, wondering what Mark’s friend Donghyuck is doing online at 1AM. The uploaded post turns out to be a photo of you and Mark when you all hang out near Han river. You were too busy at the time laughing at how the boy almost lost his whole scoop of ice cream before he could have had a single bite to notice his smile while looking at you. Based on his caption Donghyuck apparently wasn’t.

fullsun00: just old friends, they say. friends my ass @buttercupyn @onyourm__ark

You click your tongue wondering what Mark thinks of the callout but you press like on the post anyways. You put your phone aside before you could see how his other friends join the teasing in the comment section.

“Actually, I do have my third wish,” you speak up as you turn to Taeyong before he could make a remark on your tinted cheeks.

You’ve been thinking a lot about it during the past days. You could wish for anything but you’re at a point of your life where no riches or fame would make you happier because you’re happy enough just the way it is. It might not be perfect but you don’t want to be selfish and you want to make decisions you won’t regret: like catching up with Mark, curing his tiger and bringing happiness into the life of somebody who only ever served other people in his life.

“Ooh, what is it?” Taeyong claps, giddy as if he was waiting for this to happen. He probably did.

“I wish you would go on a vacation and enjoy life,” you tell him but unlike his usual reaction, this time the dragon’s smile fades and he blinks at you, confused.

“You could ask for anything in the world and that’s what you want? Are you sure?” he furrows his brows, not quite believing your words but you just smile, knowingly.

“Yes, Taeyong, I’m sure.”

“Your wish, my command,” he bows with his hands put together and with a twirl suddenly he’s in a Hawaiian shirt and sunglasses, looking as ready for a holiday as one can be. You chuckle and tell him to just go, you’ll be fine.

You’re fine, you really are. Life goes on, you study and work, you laugh with your friends, you video call with Mark regularly and his friends are regulars on your social media, too. It’s just sometimes the feeling of missing something hits you harder than other days. Especially when you’re looking through the pictures you have from your Seoul weekend.

“I wish you were here,” you whisper ahead of you at one particularly good photo of Mark and the sunset, smiling at you behind the camera. You miss his smile, the cute wrinkles around his eyes when he crunches his nose, the sound of his laughter, his hand on your wrist… you miss him.

Ding-dong.

You stand up startled at the sound of your flat’s bell, running to the door to open it even though you have no idea who it could be so early on a Saturday morning. Not having a better idea, you expect it to be either a neighbour of your landlord but on the other side of your doorstep stands a boy who you thought was a continent away. He’s dressed semi-casually this time, his shirt tucked in his jeans, hair lightly falling onto his forehead and a nervous smile on his thin lips.

“Mark! But I⎼ I don’t even have more wishes,” you blink, taken aback, looking around to look for Taeyong in case he came back. But your behaviour just manages to confuse Mark instead.

“What?”

“I just wished you were here,” you blurt out without thinking, your words only processing later in your brain and it’s then when heat creeps onto your cheeks. Mark tries to but can’t really hide his growing smile at that.

“Really? I’m glad then. I just took my new private plane on a test drive,” he says bashfully, a silly excuse for real.

“All the way to Vancouver?” you tease, watching Mark fumble with the hem of his shirt. Your heart beats overtime just because of the fact that he’s there. 

“Well, what can I say? I did miss the weather here,” he plays along with a shrug but he’s more serious when he looks deep into your eye and adds: “And you left without letting me answer.”

Oh yes, you did. You were kind of afraid of his reaction but seeing how he was ready to travel across the world just to see you, maybe there’s no reason for you to be so afraid. It feels like deja vu but a reversed one in a way as Mark gently pulls you into a hug, his lips grazing your hair with a whisper that makes your heart skip a beat: “I have missed you too.”

You really wouldn’t wish for anything more.

[devil-in-those-eyes]

Temper- Mat Barzal

Hi, guys! Okay, so it isn’t what I had in mind, but i’m hoping you guys like it and maybe even want a part two? But, anyways!

** Gif creds to @miroheyskanen​ !

~~

           Athletes could get really testy, they all had some sort of angry streak when it came to losing. They had problems with losing because they were all insanely competitive, it was exceptionally hard when it was a significantly bad loss.

You were pretty new to this team, only been assigned to the Islanders for a few months now after being switched from the Rangers, but you were pretty sure you had never seen athletes talk to you the way Mat Barzal just snapped at you.

           The whole thing kind of came out of left field, like a bitch slap and made your head spin. It made you confused for two reasons. The first because all you did was ask if Mat felt like the loss had to do with them going from playing a game a little over twenty four hours ago to playing Tampa, while Tampa had a few days off to recover. You figured Mat would be testy anyways, I mean he slammed his hockey stick into the glass multiple times before breaking it, but the way he snapped at you was over the top.

           Second reason was because you and Mat had become more than the typical athlete journalist relationship, if you’d even call it that. You had gotten to the point of having personal conversations, he stopped you outside of the locker room and walked you to your car. He even asked you to come out for drinks with him and Anthony, but after this, it kind of seemed stupid.

           You knew forming relationships with athletes was like a huge no-no. The sports world for journalism was mainly men and you had proved yourself and worked up the ladder, getting to the Rangers and now the Islanders. You never wanted to be one of those girls ruled by your emotions in all aspects of life, and your job was the one place where you could kick ass and show the men that you could compete with them.

           Except now, you felt like a moron. Wounded by Mat’s words laced with anger, your jaw clenched and eyes narrowed at him. Embarrassment flooded you and you tried to keep your cheeks from filling with a rosy color as you realized everyone else heard the tone because all the reporters fell silent and slowly looked at you.

           Mat called on a different reporter and he stumbled over his words, struggling to sound like he hadn’t heard it while you looked to your left to find the eyes of Anthony, who stood with his captain, Anders Lee, while both of them watched you. Their eyes were wide, eyebrows lifted and the conversation paused.

           Okay, so it wasn’t just in your head.

           You managed to take notes through your annoyance, getting just barely enough to write your column tomorrow, and walked away from Mat without another glance.

           “Someone was angry, wasn’t he?” A man whispered to you as you walked out of the locker room.

           You hummed, not offering anything more. The other journalists walked away while you felt your phone vibrate in your purse. For a few fleeting milliseconds, while you reached in your purse to grab your phone, you wondered if it was Mat texting you but you scoffed at yourself and pulled your phone out.

           It was just your best friend, wondering what time you’d be home and if you wanted to order some late night dinner while you worked on your article and sent it in to work. You texted her, saying you’d be home soon and to order whatever.

           “Y/N, wait up.” Anthony appeared out of the locker room, you turned to see him jogging towards you in just his compression shorts and a clean shirt.

           “Hey,” you breathed through a smile. “Great game, Tito.”

           “He’s just angry,” Anthony blurted out, nodding his head at a teammate that passed you guys.

You wanted to forget it even happened, you just wanted to get back to your job where athletes were just that, not friends. So, your eyebrows pulled together, ready to play coy but Anthony licked his bottom lip.

           “Barzy, he’s just angry. I mean, we all are. We thought we were prepared and we just got our asses handed to us,” Anthony cut you off from saying anything. He grimaced, “don’t take it personally, okay?”

           Anthony was sweet, a total dork and could make you smile without even really trying and you knew he was just trying to keep the waters calm. Your phone buzzed in your hands, reminding you that your best friend was waiting at home for you, so you touched his arm and squeezed it.

           “Great game, Tito. See you next game.” You smiled.

           “We’re gonna go for drinks after the next game,” Anthony said, trying to keep you there. You weren’t sure why because you both knew Mat wouldn’t be talking to you any time soon, not that you really felt like talking to him either. “I know Mat asked you to come, I just wanna make sure you’re gonna come.”

           “I don’t know,” you said, stepping away from him and waving your phone. “I gotta head out.”

           Anthony’s shoulders sagged, “Alright, Bye, Y/N.”

           By the time you got home, you had sit and stewed in your annoyance and felt it grow into more of a type of anger. You never asked Mat, or Anthony, for special treatment. You never talked their performance or games outside of the post game interviews, so why did Mat have to snap at you? It was a simple question, basically asking if them being exhausted from their prior series against the Canucks had anything to do with it. Jesus, it was a yes or no question.

           You got your article done with a glass of wine and take out. It was published the next morning and you went to work forgetting about how Mat looked at you like you were just an annoying journalist who was wasting his time, until your friend sent you a video of said postgame interview.

           Good. GOD. Moody, much?

           You thumbs upped her message and went on with your day.

           When your day ended, you were surprised to see text messages from Anthony and Mat. Anthony asked if you wanted to grab coffee tomorrow morning after his morning skate, while Mat asked if you wanted to come over for a movie night with him and Anthony.

           Huh, must be over his temper tantrum.

           You left him on read and told Anthony you might be able to slip out of work for an hour.

           You figured it was best if you went back to just being the journalist for your company, maybe everyone was right when they told you to not form personal relationships. You squashed those butterflies that you used to get whenever Mat smiled at you, or texted you a funny meme, or a snapchat you got when he went to your favorite café. You didn’t want to think about how you started fantasizing about him as more than an athlete because then that implied you got feelings when you promised yourself it wouldn’t happen.

           By the end of the game the next night, the boys had recovered and seemed to be in better spirits as you stood in the locker room. They had just come off of 2 goal lead and the locker room was bursting with smiles, congratulatory hand shakes and laughs.

           Tonight, you decided to be apart of Anthony’s interview, who continually cracked jokes and seemed be unfocused on the interview. As you asked Anthony a question, you could help the burning in the back of your head, the feeling like someone was watching you, so after you finished recording Anthony’s answer you turned your head to see Mat’s eyes.

           Mat had his own group of reporters asking him questions, but when you finally looked at him, he smiled gently, like he always did when he was trying to be polite inside the locker room and not let on that secretly, you were his favorite.

           Mat would never admit it to you, because it had taken you this long to agree to even meeting him and Anthony for a late night drink, but he always looked forward to post-games just because he got to stare at you. You always looked pretty in your favorite jeans and shirt, hair either pulled back and off your face or falling naturally and tucked back behind your ears. His hand always itched to push the strands off of your neck, always wishing for the day he could stand close to you without you second guessing and stepping away.

           As your lips twitched into a half smile, he realized it wasn’t meeting your eyes like it usually does, but the second you turned back to Anthony, you wore a bright smile. He felt a pang in his chest, something resembling jealousy but he quickly squashed it because he knew his best friend didn’t see you like that, like how Mat saw you.

           Mat managed to get through the interviews without staring at you too hard, and by the time Anthony and Anders let you go, the other reporters and journalists had walked out so Mat easily grabbed your wrists and pulled you to a stop.

           “Hey, you,” Mat breathed, smiling softly.

           “Hey, good game.” You answered.

           Your smile was… too professional. It was small and tight and how you used to smile when you first started here a few months ago. It took Mat weeks to pull a real smile out of you, one where your eyes twinkled and his heart clenched inside his chest. You always told him good game, even if it was a shit game, but tonight was just different somehow.

           “I, uh,” Mat stumbled over his words as you pulled your wrist from his grasp. He felt like he was sixteen again, talking to his crush after school. “Can you come out tonight? Tito said he asked you.”

           “Can’t,” you answered, stepping away. “Have a good night, Mat.”

           Another pang inside his chest as your words went cold, this time it was disappointment and hurt. Confused, Mat just stood there was you walked away from him, not even looking back over your shoulder to give Mat some sort of sign that all he needed to do was push for you to come out.

           He felt like he was back to square one with you.

           “Not so much fun when it’s you, eh?” Matt Martin asked him as he still stood there, watching your figure walk away.

           “What’re you talking about?” Mat asked, turning to face his teammate.

           Matt smirked and shrugged, heading into the showers. Annoyed, Mat went up to Tito. “Why is Y/N so pissed at me?”

           “Dude,” Tito’s eyes glanced to his left, at Anders, before looking back at him. “Where were you two days ago?”

           Clueless, Mat shook his head.

           “Maybe you should watch your interview.” Tito said, sighing and turning to grab his clothes out of his bag.

[delirioushrimp]

Frozen Fairytale (DemonYB AU)

This is like the most self-indulgent thing I’ve ever done hhhhh-

Once more, this story is here because I am a huge simp for @harbingers-appointed ‘s  amazing AU !

Vee I hope you know I would die for you !

Plot changed three times during the writing process, help-

He senses their pain before he hears their scream. It’s a cry of agony, distress, begging for help and he feels it in his bones as though it was his own suffering. It travels through his being like a shot of electricity; fast, violent, and dizzying. It takes him a few seconds to recover from the pain and as soon as he does, a feeling of dread unlike anything he had experienced  before fills his soul until it’s the only thing he can think about.

He rises abruptly from his desk, causing TK to flinch and look at him with a confused and fearful look. But he can’t see his tactician, can’t hear them ask if something is wrong, can’t feel the pieces of wood piercing his skin. His soul, his heart is burning a fire of horror and rage.

He almost knocks the door of its hinges as he desperately tries to reach them through the pain.

“Darling ! Darling where are you ?!”

Long agonizing seconds pass -where he imagines the worst has already happened-

pleasepleasepleaseplease-

“Sa…mael…”

Their voice is too weak, too frail and distressed for him to relax. And they only used his real name when…

“Tell me where you are !”

He doesn’t mean the harshness, the sternness in his tone, centuries of cold authority coursing through his veins and the panic rending him unable to control it. He hears a gasp before they answer once more.

“…Water…lake…blue…”

“What-“

“So…cold…”

His eyes widen furthermore at their words, his feet carrying him to the only place they could be as terror -the kind he hadn’t felt in hundreds of years- takes hold of him. He doesn’t notice the looks of bewilderments of his kind as he runs past them, quickly turning into pure fear when they feel the murderous aura of their King. Most of them have never witnessed it and to endure its overwhelming presence like this, even for a second bring them to their knees. He doesn’t notice any of them as he runs like he never has, ignoring the tremendous pain his heels bring him.

“Darling-“

“It hurts…it hurts so much. I-don’t think I can hold for much longer…”

They sound on the verge of fainting, and it feels as though he might be dying.

“Don’t ! Don’t let go ! Please ! I’m on my way !”

“…Samael…I’m so tired…”

“Please ! Please just a little longer !”

He never begged, the King of Hell doesn’t beg for anything or to anyone. He didn’t beg when God casted him aside, didn’t beg when he was stripped of his title, of his wings, or when he felt their ghostly presence for a hundred years to come. He never begged in his life, when he wants something, he simply takes it without asking, because he doesn’t need anyone’s permission. He doesn’t need the princes’ or TK, and he especially doesn’t need permission from that pathetic God.

And yet in that moment, running in the frozen parts of his kingdom, he is willing to. He’s willing to beg anyone he crosses to save his beloved; he’s willing to kneel in front of God if it means he can get back the wings which were so painfully teared apart from him, even for just a minute, anything so he can reach them sooner, faster even by a few seconds. Anything for the pain to stop. He briefly looks up at the sky.

You knew this would happen, didn’t you ?!

He doesn’t expect an answer, and he doesn’t get one but doesn’t miss how the harsh winds seem to be whispering words of mockery to his ears. But the sound of their voice brings him back to the moment.

“My King…”

He feels their mind sleeping farther away, to a place he can’t reach. The words are spoken softly and lovingly but with a hint of regret.

“I’m sorry…”

“DON’T !”

But the connection is lost, quickly followed by a loud splashing sound and his soul shatters into pieces.  A scream of agony echo through the frozen lands, the wild and agonizing cry of a frenzied beast, chilling anyone who hears it to the bone.

He starts running again, this time, pleading, again and again to find them. The smell of iron hits him, and he feels madness takes over his mind.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As soon as your bruised and frozen fingers let go of the small rock, you feel it. The long, tortuous howl of his voice ringing in your soul reminding you of his hellish nature. It tears you apart and for the briefest moment, you wish you could have said something more. Then the water takes you.

It doesn’t hurt as much as you expected it, the pain only lasts a minute. A minute where your lungs desperately try to breath into the frigid ocean that surrounds you, burning every cell of your being. But then nothing. Only silence and the slow descent of your body towards the unknown, and you briefly wonder if there is an end to this endless ocean. It’s peaceful, quiet, and painless. A calm, soft blue surrounds you, reminding you of his eyes. It lulls and soothes you.

So beautiful…

Everything is numb and you feel your eyes growing heavy but you’re not scared. You’re not scared because you remember his words upon your arrival.

Death is something you will never have to fear my dear, for I am the only one who controls it here.

A small smile draws on your lips despite the cold.

Then it’s alright, I’ll suffer a thousand pains if it means staying with you.

He will find you; you know he will, he always does. You just have to wait a bit. You close your eyes and fall asleep into the icy blankets of water. Death will not find you, the Light Bringer will.

-------‐----------------------------------------------‐-------------

The first time you wake up, it’s to the sound of crying and pleading. Someone is begging for you to open your eyes, but the task proves to be impossible. The sorrow and the lament in their voice break your heart, despite not being able to recognize who it is. You vaguely hear the person call for your name, again and again between their sobs. You wish you could comfort whoever is uttering your name with such anguish and desperation. But instead, you fall back into the arms of Morpheus.

Who are you ?

The second time you wake up, it’s to the smell of blood. The stench invades your mind, overwhelming all your senses until it’s the only thing you can perceive. You want to gag, yet your body seems unresponsive to even your most basic instincts, as if frozen in ice. But behind that heavy and violent scent, you catch a hint of something familiar. Something ancient, powerful, and pleasant, it comforts you. Instinctively, you cling to that aroma acting as a lifesaver and slumber takes over you once more.

I know you.

The third time you wake up, it’s to the taste of something bitter running down your throat. It tastes like one of those herbal teas from back home, but far worse. It burns and stings your tongue; makes you sick to your stomach, and you panic. You trash around, try to scream but no sound leaves you. Your crisis is interrupted when you feel something soft brush against your lips, something sweet and gentle, like a candy melting in your mouth. It’s enough for you to fall back asleep.

Who am I to you ?

The fourth time you wake up, it’s to a warm touch. Something -or rather someone- is holding your arm tightly, though not enough to hurt. You still struggle to open your eyes, but you can feel the way their much bigger hand delicately holds yours, running soothing circles on your palm. Then you feel a warm breath on your fingers and a pair of lips brushing against them in such a tender and caring way it brings tears to your eyes. You doze off, feeling loved and protected.

I’ve never felt so cherished before.

The fifth time you wake up, it’s to a sight you never believed to witness. A large figure kneeling on their knees by your side, head resting on your chest, through some miracle, the long horns barely scrap your skin. Pale moonlight rays shine on them- no him, allowing you to see a pained expression and the bags under his eyes, a sight which immediately strikes you with grief. He looks absolutely miserable. And yet, you find a certain beauty to it. Is it because you know he would only kneel for you ?

My King…

As if on cue, a gasp reaches your ears before the head lying on your chest shots up, so fast it almost knocks you out. You curse out loud in fear, but the sound quickly dies in your throat the moment you notice the look in his eyes.

First you see shock, confusion, and disbelief following one another in rapid motion before relief takes over. His eyes, his smile, it’s like he just found the greatest treasure in all three worlds. It reminds you of the first time you met, except he doesn’t hold it back. The raw devotion and adoration in his gaze, it’s almost too much for your heart to handle.

You try to reach for him with your hand but a sharp pain in your shoulder forces you to withdraw your arm, you hiss at the sensation and he notices it. His expression immediately falls and is replaced by sorrow and guilt. You can see it in those endless pools of blue, you can see how he’s blaming himself for something he isn’t responsible for, you can see how terrified he is of you hating and discarding him, and most of all, you can see the suffering he endured during your short absence. You’ve never witnessed something like this before. You’d seen him irritated, disappointed, tired, or dejected even.

But this, this was something you hated seeing on him. This expression of utter defeat and grief does not suit him at all.

Carefully, you lift your other -and fortunately non-injured- arm and with as much softness as you can muster, brush your hand against his cheek. He jolts from the touch as if he expected a much harsher reaction but just as quickly, leans into your touch and closes his eyes. He’s trembling, still afraid you’re only indulging him one last time before rejecting  him completely. It surprises you, how easily you can read him when you could barely decipher his true intentions not so long ago.

You  push back the blankets and slowly shifts your body until your feet dangle from the bed, caging him between your legs, but his eyes are still shut.

“My King…” you whisper in a raspy voice, “open your eyes please.” The shaking grows in intensity. “For me…”

Your last words act as spell pulling him out of his misery. His gaze is solely focused on you, and even after all this time, it still takes your breath away. How could such a powerful, beautiful and infinite being look at you -a mere mortal soul- with such intensity you feel like the only person existing in all three realms ? You still don’t understand, and you don’t know if you ever will.

Does it even matter ?

He who has everything, looks like he might crumble at any moment. The embodiment of pride, crawling at your feet, begging for your love. Has he ever shown such vulnerability to anyone else before ? The selfish part of you wishes he hasn’t, the greedy and possessive part that wants all of him for you and only you. His mind, his body, his heart, and his soul, all for you, just like you belong to him.

Comfort him, cherish him, accept him, love him

“My love,” you call for him, and the distance between the two of you shortens, you feel his hands roam your body, desperately clinging to you. “My star, my light, my savior, my fated one…”

Each appellation has him growing closer and closer until his forehead touches yours, his breathing is erratic, his eyes search for any trace of resentment on your face, hands encircling your waist is a tight -but non-painful- grip.

“None of this was your fault-“

“Don’t go to them !”

You speak at the same time, but you stop at the frantic tone of his voice. You frown, confused, waiting for further explanations.

“I know I- failed to protect you !” he admits in the most pathetic tone you’ve ever heard. “But please, don’t leave me !” he begs, and your mind is sent into a spiral of worry as you try to come up with a way to calm him down. “Don’t- don’t choose them !”

Who are you even talking about ?!

“They- he will only hurt and use you !”

His words hit you like a bucket of ice- no it’s worse than that, colder than the waters you drowned in, colder than the harsh winds digging into your skin when you were clinging to that rock for dear life. You feel your blood boil and freeze at the same time, because you understand who he is talking about.

The genuine deep-rooted fear in his tone fills you with both dread and fury. It terrifies you because it means this demon, no-this entity is far worse and far more powerful than you thought, enough for the King of Hell to be afraid of it. It enrages you because it means they hurt him before, most likely tortured and let him bleed out like the sadistic creature they are. Your interactions with them had given you a hunch about their true nature but this is so much worse, much more horrible than you’d anticipated.

Theyhurtyoutheyhurtyoutheyhurtyou-

You want to scream, you want to get up from this bed, you want to find this smug bastard -it wouldn’t take long, they’re always around the corner- and strangle them. You don’t remember the last time you felt such wrath against someone. But you can’t. You can’t because you can barely move without your body hurting but most of all, because you just know they would relish in your anger and you wouldn’t be able to bear that infuriating self-satisfied and arrogant smile.

The grip around your waist suddenly tightens and when your eyes focus on him again, you realize your mistake. He noticed your anger, and thought it was directed at him. His pupils are blown wide, and he starts shaking again, mumbling the same sentence over and over again like a broken record.

“don’tleavemedon’tleavemedon’tleaveme-“

“Sweetheart-“

“This will never happen again, I promise !” he interrupts you.

“Dear-“ you try again, but to no avail.

“I’ll never leave you, never again ! “ His voice turns dark, with a hint of madness to it. “Will always stay with you, always by your side. Always, always, always, always…”

“Love please-“

“You know I would do anything for you, right ?” His eyes are blown so wide you can barely see his pupils, smile stretched to the point it might tear his face apart. The raw possessiveness and despair, they make him look completely mad. “Tell me, tell me what should I do to earn back your love. Tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you. Just tell me.”

You stare at him in stunned silence and in that moment, you know if you asked for him to set his kingdom ablaze, he’d only ask you in how many days. He had told you so in the past, but you’d only taken it as another dramatic display to entertain you. Now you realize how serious he was and to your shock, you’re not as frightened as you should be. In fact…

His eyes twitches and a trail of cobalt blood starts to run down his chin from how hard he’s biting his lips. His voice turns to hysterics and you think you see something running down his cheeks.

“Just tell me !  There must be something ! Tell me please, tellmetellmetellmetellme-“

“Samael, enough !” you end up shouting at him.

He immediately stills, from the tone of your voice or the use of his name, you can’t tell. You didn’t mean to raise your voice, not when he was breaking down in front of you, but he wouldn’t have stopped otherwise. And hearing him so hopeless and frantic was too much for you to handle.

Ignoring the pain in your left shoulder, you reach for him again, this time with both hands and he watches you lovingly cup his face in your hands with awe. His gaze darts back and forth between your face and your hands in utter bewilderment, like a child trying to solve a puzzle. You almost laugh at the thought. Instead, you lock eyes with him and speak firmly.

“I’ll tell you what I want.” He perks up, eagerly waiting for your wish. “I want you to stop blaming yourself for something that’s not your fault.” You see him open his mouth, most likely to protest but you don’t give him the chance to. “I want you to remember I don’t hate you; I’ve never hated you and never will. “ You sense him slightly relaxes. “I want you to understand I will never leave you, not for them, and not for anyone else, never. “ You pause, watching the blue returning to his eyes.

His expression holds trust, hope and an innocence you didn’t believe possible for him to have, he looks so much younger. For a moment, you think you’re gazing at the benevolent, bright, and loyal angel he once was, the devoted hand of God. You remember the feather he gifted you on the first night you kissed his scars, a pure and immaculate white, softer than the most delicate silk existing on earth and more valuable than any jewel in the world. He had looked so happy, so earnest, when he gave it to you. And now, you can so easily picture thousands of those same feathers linked together to form majestic wings. The vision has you smiling softly. But a question, one you had avoided asking him ever since you realized his feelings for you were genuine burns at the corners of your mind once more. Laced with such pride, envy, and selfishness you never felt brave enough to ask.

Do you love me more than you used to love God ?

Two warm, large hands covering yours bring you back to reality and the innocence vanishes, allowing for the madness to reappear once more. But his voice is steady, confident and lacks the fragility it held mere moments ago.

“God took everything from me, from the very beginning, only took and took.” You are not shocked to hear the way he spat those words, but from the fact he seems to have read your mind. “But you…” he draws out, bringing your left hand to his lips and giving a chaste kiss where your pulse lies, teeth grazing at the flesh. You feel him slowly exhale against your skin. “You keep on giving and giving. Your presence, you smile, your touch, your voice…” You feel his tail slowly making its way around your left leg as he speaks. “But I still keep wanting more of you each passing day…” His voice becomes strained with yearning and desire. “I can’t get enough; I’ll never get enough of you.”

He closes his eyes, inhales and exhales slowly, as if trying to contain his hunger and fervor for you. His breaths are the only sounds in the large room and you find some sort of peace to it. It eases your nerves, reminds that this moment is not a dreamy hallucination from your comatose state, this is real. You don’t know how long it lasts -a few seconds, a minute or an hour- until he opens his eyes again and your heartbeat becomes uncontrollable.

His pupils have turned into hearts, and although it’s not the first time, you still find yourself mesmerized by the sight. Who knew the Devil could be capable of such thing ? The vibrancy, the intensity, and the sincerity his gaze holds have you melt into him and you instinctively close your thighs tighter around him. He relishes in your actions if the soft purring you hear is anything to go by.  

“My Dear…” he fondly says before calling for your name, and you smile, loving the way it rolls on his tongue. “The dull candlelight of devotion I once felt for the one who cast me aside cannot possibly compare to the eternal flame of adoration I hold for you.”

You feel every fiber of your body burns at his confession, pure delight taking over your mind and utter bliss over your heart.  How are you supposed to respond to that ? Nothing you could say would be enough to match this. So you decide to answer in the only way you can think of. You lean in and finally close whatever distance was left between the two of you.

IloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyou

You hope he can hear it, how much you love him, you hope he feels how your soul calls for his in desperate craving. You hope he realizes you will never stop loving him as you taste the blood and the tears on his lips. You hope he understands you would do anything for him as you feel his hands shift to grip your thighs. How could such a corrupted being taste so divine ?

You want him, you want him to touch and hold you, because you feel the most alive when he does. Hastily, you blindly reach for his long horns and smirk into the kiss when you finally grab them and without a warning, pulls him towards you. And oh, the way he moans into your mouth, it sounds heavenly. It makes you lose your mind.

Moremoremoremoremore-

You do it a second time, which causes him to growl and you revel at the feeling of his nails digging into your tender skin. It feels so good, so good to have him touch you like this. But then he breaks the kiss and you whine when he removes his hands from your legs, instead placing them on each side of your body to steady himself.

His eyes are hooded with raw desire and lust, causing a shot of electricity to travel to your core. Knowing that you’re the only one who’ll get to see him like this, the only one able to create such reactions from him fills you with unwavering pride and satisfaction.

“Darling…” he whispers in a husky, barely controlled voice. “I can’t- you’re still hurt, I-“ He hisses when you tenderly rub the base of his horns. “Ah…don’t- torture me like this.” His labored breath and the pleading in his tone only urge you to do it again. “You need to rest more before-“ You shush him with a finger against his lips.

“You’re the only one who can make the pain go away…” you trail off, noticing how close he is to give in from how tightly he’s holding the bedsheets. “My King…” you beg, fingers brushing against his cheek. “Please, I need you” you admit.

You can almost see the resolution shatters in his eyes and it’s beautiful. You feel absolutely drunk on triumph, love and euphoria, a deadly combination that drives you to feel much bolder, impudent, and confident than you should be in your condition.

He lifts you up in one, swift -although careful- movement before settling himself on the bed with you straddling his lap and hmmm you can feel how much he wants you now. In a moment of reckless bravery, you grind against him and smile smugly at the chocking sound coming from his throat. But your victory is short-lived when you feel a hot breath at the junction of your neck and your shoulder, inhaling your scent. You inhale sharply and a whimper leaves your lips when you feel his teeth -his very sharp teeth- nibble at your skin. A dark, guttural chuckle echo in the room, one filled with sinful promises of pleasure, making your body growing hotter by the second.

“Tell me what you need, and I’ll give it you, Darling,” he purrs in your ear, sounding very much like the embodiment of temptation and immorality most sacred texts describe him as. It drives you insane.

He never did this before, it was -almost- always him that would come to you with need and want, and of course, you never refused him. But now…

“I need-“ now look who’s struggling to form coherent sentences. You can feel him smile against your flesh like the devil he is. “I need you to touch me,” you shudder when his hands grip your thighs once more, except his hold is much more possessive than the previous one. “Hold me, fill me, mark me…” your voice becoming more strained and tense as one of his hands starts to make its way to your heated core. “I want you to fuck me until I forget the pain, and my own name…” The animalistic sound that leaves him sends goosebumps along your skin. You sigh deliriously. “I want you to worship me.”

He leaves your neck to look at you one more time before he completely loses it. You know he wants to check if you’re really sure about this, he’s done it before, and although you’ve never told him to, you know if you asked him to stop now, he would. As much as it would pain him, you know he’d never betray you like this, not only because he loves and respects you too much, but also because your Devil has standards.

When he notices no hesitation or refusal from you, a ravenous and demented smile draws on his lips as he tilts your chin with his free hand to look at you directly in the eyes. You see excitement, lust, and exhilaration in his frenzied gaze and behind it, his undying adoration.

“As you wish, dearest.”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You see them not too long after, when you’ve recovered enough to walk on your own, although you sustained no injury on your legs. Though you’re sure some people can tell why you couldn’t use them. The wound on your shoulder is bigger than you thought, starting from your shoulder blade, and almost reaching your hips but the pain is already manageable and you’ve been told no major organ was harmed, so there’s that. You can’t do much about the red angry scar expect apply some ointment every now and then but it’s fine, to demons, scars are not seen as ugly but rather a source of pride and a sign of survival. Not surprising, considering their King was the first to deal with the most painful ones imaginable. Very little got to see them but everyone knew the Fall had taken a lot from him.

Just like he promised, he keeps you near him at all times to the point you quickly forget the notion of personal space but you don’t complain much, considering what happened. Besides, listening to the meetings with the princes and other important figures -on his lap of course- gives you a better insight on how things operate in hell and who you need to be careful of, TK could only spend so much time explaining the basics to you with how busy they were.

All thanks to a certain “housekeeper”…

Ah, thinking about them always lead to a terrible headache, which for some reason you believe them to be aware of. Your last interaction with them goes back to a day or two before the “incident”, they’d been cordial and enthusiastic as usual but something about that smile always kept you on edge. Now you know your cautiousness was not uncalled for. You still want to strangle them but you’d rather drown into that lake again than admit it to their face. You can’t forget the genuine fear in Samael’s voice or the way he trembled against you when he asked you to not go to them.

What exactly did they do to you ?

“Darling ?” A deep voice brings you back to reality and you realize everyone in the room is staring at you -some with more annoyance and hostility than others- and you turn to see the concerned azure gaze of your lover. “Are you alright ?”

You don’ want to lie to him but now is really not the time to mention your doubts and questions. Instead, you smile softly and speak as casually as you can despite the headache growing in intensity.

“I just need some fresh air, don’t worry.”

You can tell he is not fully convinced with how deep his frown is and it gets worse when you try to leave your “seat”. He tenses up and to avoid making a scene you take one of his hands into your own and try to appease his paranoia.

“The balcony is not far, I’ll come back in a few minutes.” You lick your lips. “I promise. Nothing’s gonna happen,” you raise your voice to make sure everyone hears you, “nobody would be stupid enough to try something when you’re here, right ?”

You think you hear a few people chuckle and you don’t need to turn around to guess their derisive smiles. A few moments of silence pass where you stare at the King of Hell with the best puppy eyes you can muster. You know you’ve won when you hear him sigh and nod reluctantly. Slowly, you slip from his lap but before you can make a step, a hand grabs you by the arm causing you to turn around in confusion.

“Five minutes,” is all he says to you, irritation and stress already slipping into his voice. You mentally send an apology to everyone else in the room, knowing what they’ll have to deal with for this short amount of time.

“Of course, I understand.”

You beam at him but right as you’re about to leave, find yourself hit with a very bold and striking idea. You smile deviously under the eyes of a confused King. Dramatically, you kneel before him much like a knight in a fairytale would and take the hand which was holding your arm a few seconds ago into your own and bring it to your lips, not once breaking eye contact with him. He looks at you in stunned silence and wide eyes, his face covered in a delicious shade of blue. As a final move, you drop a chaste kiss on his hand and smile when you hear him inhale sharply.

“I’ll be back soon,” you beath the words fervently against his skin, “My King.”

You stroll out of the room without looking back once and head to the balcony, feeling quite proud -and maybe a bit embarrassed- of your little display despite the dull pain in your skull. You’re fortunate enough to not cross anyone on your way, and exhale slowly once you feel the cold air against your face.

You attempt to distract yourself from your gloomy thoughts with the view and feels the wind to caress your skin in a gentle breeze, it’s calm and peaceful. Until a voice you’re all too familiar with jumps in from behind, and it takes everything in you to refrain yourself from jumping in fright.

“I’m glad you’ve recovered well enough to put little stunts like this !”

You cringe at the friendly, upbeat tone they use and refuse to turn around to gaze at that pretentious smile. Of course, he knows what you did, he always seemed to know where you went and what you did.

“And I’m glad you have enough time on your hands to come and see me,” you retort as casually as possible.

Don’t show your anger, even if he knows, don’t show it.

“Of course, I’ll always free myself for you sweetheart,” he says, voice slightly huskier. “You know I’ll always be there whenever you feel bored.”

There it is, that same charming and bewitching tone he used the first time you met, the one that almost convinced you to follow him to the storage room. And his hair looked so soft, though you’d never touch it, mostly out of fear of what would happen to your fingers if you did. His eyes -well the one visible at least- were so pretty. He was attractive and persuasive for sure, but you always thought he was more than that, and you were right. What would have happened, if you’d followed them that day ?

Ah, I’d rather not think about it…

“Are you giving me the cold shoulder ?” he asks with hurt in his voice, you’re almost convinced it’s genuine. This time, you can’t help but flinch from his wording, and he notices it. “Oops, I shouldn’t have worded it like that, my bad.”

You only sigh at his “apology” and do your best to ignore the footsteps, coming closer and closer to you, slowly, like a snake chasing its unaware prey.

“Come on now, you weren’t so stiff last time we talked.”

You still don’t answer and  hear them hum in amusement at your silence. It’s not very hard to imagine the expression he’s wearing right now, narrowed eyes and a knowing smile. You don’t think you’ve ever seen them truly irritated or angry, and while his smile always unnerved you, you’d rather not discover what he looked like when he got mad.

“You’re acting like I’m the one who stabbed you in the back.”

He’s so close, too close to you for comfort, you feel your body tense as soon as the edge of his tail brushes your leg. Oh, he must be relishing in your agitation.

Fucking bastard…

“It must have been so painful, “ he whispers as one of his nails starts to move along your back. “The feeling of a sharp blade piercing your soft skin, “ he says while his finger starts to trail down the exact line of your scar through your clothes. “and the freezing winds nabbing at the wound while you desperately tried to stay afloat.” His voice drips with sadistic glee, you’re almost sure he’s getting turned on. “And then helplessly drowning with none coming to get you, oh you must have felt truly hopeless, didn’t you, sweetheart ?”

The urge to just throw him over the edge eats you away as a warm breath tickles your neck. But you do your best to sound and act as unbothered by the situation, instead opting for a white lie.

“I wouldn’t know, I don’t remember most of it.”

Bad move, you sense him chuckles against your ear at your admission, as if you’d just confided the most important secret in the world. What kind of sick power did you just allow him to have over you now ?

“Really ?” he muses. “That’s too bad…” he snickers. “Maybe I could help you regain some memories ?”

Fuck, I walked right into that one.

“You know I could  make it feel good, don’t you ?”

You wonder if this is how Eve felt when she was tricked by the snake, in fact you wouldn’t be surprised to learn Flauros turned out to be the one who tempted her at this point. It’s like he was made for the sole purpose of spreading chaos whenever he went.

“I’ll have to decline the offer,” you answer firmly and to your surprise, notice him take a step back. You feel like you can breathe again.

“You’re so boring,” he exclaims, sounding very much like a spoiled kid. “But I knew it’d be like that, this story isn’t centered around me after all.”

You open your mouth to ask for more explanations when a deep, concerned voice reverberates in your head.

“Darling ? Are you on your way back ?”

You answer quickly, knowing very well what will happen if you don’t.

“Sorry, kinda lost track of time, I’m coming !”

“Hurry…please.”

“Give me a minute, I’ll be there soon.”

You’re glad he doesn’t ask more questions; else you’d have had to tell him about the spider standing right behind you and he’s already stressed enough as it is.

“I’m guessing his Highness is calling for you ?” he asks in an ever-knowing voice, still filled with that same fucking arrogance. “Better not make him wait !” he shouts in a disgustingly sweet sing-song voice.

Gross, this really didn’t suit him at all, being a coy little bastard really fits him better. As much as it bothers you, he’s playing the part of the bad guy pretty well, too well you think. As if he’d done this a hundred times over already.

You want to tell him to leave, to take care of all the tasks poor TK is forced to manage on their own, you want to yell at him, bleed him dry, snap his neck. Anything so you don’t have to walk past him and get a glimpse of that cheeky smile, anything for you to forget the image of a dying Samael from your mind. But then it would mean surrendering, admit that you’re terrified of whatever entity they’re supposed to be.

So, with all the strength and courage you still have left, you turn around and sure enough, he’s looking at you the exact way you predicted it. You walk past him, not too fast -less you betray your fear- but not too slow either -less you have to gaze for too long at that sharp, hypnotizing purple eye- . But the words he utters as you stand a few inches from him, cause you to stop dead in your tracks.

“You shouldn’t worry too much about me cutie, I’m only here to act as a small distraction to your little fairytale.” He chuckles. “You should be more concerned about the God who created this world in the first place and the minion who wishes to gain their attention through this story.”

You start to walk again, not fulling grasping his words but still finding some sort of unknown understanding through them. But you still hear him talk, speaking of beings beyond your reality. His voice becoming darker and louder as you get farther away.

“The King may be the current favorite, but who knows when I’ll steal his crown?”

Walk away, don’t turn back

“Up until you grow bored of your prince charming, I’ll be there.”

………….

“Maybe next time, I’ll get to be your Antagonist (: “

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

#Flauros stop fucking with brain challenge

Sorry for any world builing inaccuracies, I did give myself some liberties concerning a few details, feel free to correct me about it Vee.

[ririkutai]

Saeran AE Good Ending Choice Walkthrough

Hello everyone! I’ve decided to share the walkthrough on Tumblr as well, because I received a message about reddit being blocked in some countries! I wasn’t aware! So here! Cheers!

I've since edited the guide to include some the Sad Endings, Bad Endings, Normal Ending, as well as the good ending. Currently this guide sits at 9/10 total endings for Saeran's AE. I've included chat times, save locations, as well as choices. If anyone complies the guide and shares it elsewhere, I'd appreciate a shoutout as this took some time! Feel free to @me anywhere as Ririkutai <3

The way to get Bad Ending 1 is by taking Rika's side and not wanting to leave Saeran's side. The trigger lies somewhere between day 2-3, but I'm uncertain of the specifics.

Cheers!

Day 1:

There are two sad endings on this day!

SAVE HERE! DON'T DO ANYTHING YET!

Time: 00:00 x2

Strange Meeting

· I’ll bring Saeran with me for the meeting

· Let’s save that part until Saeyoung returns

· Saeyoung owns all the rights

· Please be safe, Saeyoung

· I have a bad feeling about this

· Do you think the leader of Mint Eye is related to this?

· Did we, Saeran?

· Saeran, my sweet

· But first, we should discuss how to save…

· Is V still gone?

· Something’s fishy

· Make sure you check V’s luggage!

· Be careful on your way!

· We should keep our eye on V

· Let’s stay alert, Jaehee

· For some reason, I’m kind of uneasy

· What are you doing right now?

· I’m nervous, too

· I hope we can take plenty of pictures in the future

· I love you, too

Story Mode:

· Where is V?

· We never fight. I trust Saeran (Saeran Heart)

· Well, I did talk a lot

· Maybe it is her…

· I know it feels weird, but you must free yourself from your past

· Saeran, don’t you think we should tell them?

· What are you thinking?

· Is there anything you know about Saeyoung’s whereabouts?

· Try holding breath just a bit longer

· V… Why are you doing this?

Please Wake Up

No choices

Story Mode:

· Wake up

· Try to wake up

· Saeran

· I held my breath, like you told me

· I’ll help you

NOTE RELOAD THE PREVIOUS SAVE AND Select all options that aren't doubtful, don't hold your breath like Saeran suggests, fall like everyone else, and be sure not to move in the hospital. This triggers Sad Ending 1

Time: 9:45

Can We Trust Him?

· I don’t think I can rest, when I…

· I’m kind of tired…

· By the way, is there something wrong with the…

· Was it a hacker!?

· Could it be the secret agency...?

· Does that mean we need to be careful…?

· Traitor (Saeran heart)

· So you handed over the information of this…

· What did you expect? You tricked us.

· Prove to us that Saeyoung…

· And you are trying to pull Saeran into danger (Saeran heart)

· Are you talking about Rika?

· No! He will never do that! (Saeran heart)

· He’s gone again | (Selecting, "Maybe he really wants to help you." Gives a V heart, but I'm uncertain how it affects the rest of the route)

· But you can’t let yourself get into this (Saeran heart)

· I’ll be waiting, my love (Saeran heart)

Time: 11:23

Did She Change?

· Come on out, hacker! Fight me! | (Selecting "Go away, V!" Gives you a Saeran heart, but I'm uncertain how it affects the route)

· Oh, a bad guy! Time to say hi

· He knew we won’t ever trust him again

· Are you still obsessed with Saeran?

· And you’ve done horrible things to Saeran

· And you expect me to believe that?

· Sounds like you are inviting him into a trap | (Selecting "I must admit, you are persistent." Gives you a V heart, but I'm uncertain how it affects the route)

· You really don’t give up do you?

· Fact remains that you are far from normal (Saeran heart)

· No! Stay away! (Saeran heart)

Story Mode:

· The question is whether you should make... (Saeran heart)

· So, are you going to save Saeyoung?

Time: 16:05

Rika and V’s Reunion

· Rika! You can’t stop our love!

· Are you here to tell Saeran to leave again?

· Do you have any idea how bad she hurt Saeran? (Saeran heart)

· You should first explain about Rika | (Selecting "How is Saeyoung?" gives you a Saeyoung heart, uncertain how it affects the route.)

· Do you know Saeran does not have a family picture…

· But Rika's standing is very different from... (Saeran heart)

· But what about you? What about your life? (V heart)

· You do need balance for a relationship as well

· Are we witnessing the birth of a new savior...? (Saeran heart)

· It’s the prime minister isn’t it? | (Selecting "Could it be the agency?" gives you a V heart.)

· We will save everyone!

· There’s no doubt V, Rika, and the prime…

· Yay! Let’s talks! Just the two of us!

Time: 17:57

Rika’s Selfish Happiness

· What are you plotting with…

· I will go with whatever Saeran chooses (Saeran heart)

· He might leave by the time the rest of RFA…

· But we are always together (Saeran heart)

· Are you sure you have reunited with V?

· So nobody ever saved V (V heart)

· Maybe you wanted people to recognize you and tell you...

· That's good, but... V looked desolate

· What do you really want to become?

· Cough, cough calories

Time: 19:11

Secure Chat Just for Us

· Hey, we’re back

· Good job. Now lets use this room…

· What? Doesn’t that mean our enemies are huge?

· Of course you are… We have four bad guys…

· That's right! Let's go save Saeyoung! (Saeran heart)

· Then let’s get going! (Saeran heart)

SAVE AFTER THIS CHATROOM

Story Mode

· What if your trauma returns? (Saeran heart) | (Both options give a heart though!)

· I remember both of them (Saeran heart) | (Both options give a heart still!)

· I love you, Saeran

· This might turn out to be reckless (Saeran heart) | (Both options give a heart. This boi is full of love)

NOTE RELOAD YOUR PREVIOUS SAVE AFTER SECURE CHAT JUST FOR US And select "Then let's leave. Let's leave everything, instead of saving Saeyoung.", "Yes.", "I'll be fine. I want to be happy with you. That's all I'm asking for." To receive Sad Ending 2

Time: 20:44

Different Perspective on the Past

· Rika… You’re back

· I’m not sure if this is the best time…

· Do you remember what it was like back then?

· Were you happy even without Saeyoung?

· I guess you did miss her. You didn’t separate willingly… (Saeran heart)

· Family is not something you can replace like objects...

· Now I’ll be your family (Saeran heart)

· You’ll be a great parent (Saeran heart)

· Alike? How?

· You are still obsessed with him?

· Saeran is not like you (Saeran heart)

· It feels like you’re inviting us into a trap

· She might make you her prisoner…

· Can’t we stay a bit longer?

· Okay

Story Mode

· Don’t you think we should head straight to this…

· V provided his apartment to them?

· V would’ve thought everything by himself…

· It’s the agency!

Time: 21:56

Unbelievable Peaceful Chit-Chat

· V? What brings you back here?

· How come you own that place?

· Did you get scammed by any chance?

· I’d thought you plotted it

· I think it’s fake news

· But the prime minister and the agency are attacking..

· Jumin will be beyond shocked (Jumin heart)

· That’s where the root of all evil…

· You brought someone else to that apartment?

· I’m so glad Jumin did not turn out like…

· A dark magician!

· Do you think this news will be highly detrimental…?

· It’s not a good thing to play deaf to what you…

· Can’t you give me one last clue…

· If only Jumin…

· One day you will pay

Story Mode

· What is this place?

Time: 23:05

The Most Important Thing

· Saeran? You’re gone

· I’m fine. When I’m with you, my joy… (Saeran heart)

· Why not break through the windows?

· What do you think will happen to us… (Saeran heart)

· I hope by tomorrow at least one…

· Regardless of the truth…

· Do you think the other members of RFA…

· They’d be shocked mostly by the fact…

· But I chose to come with you (Saeran heart)

· Yes. Because we will never stop loving… (Saeran heart)

· You are also important to me, Saeran (Saeran)

· Please be safe, my darling (Saeran)

Story Mode

No Choices

Day 2:

There are two Sad Endings on this day

Time: 00:23

Unexpected Guest

· Saeyoung?!

· How did you get in here?

· Saeran! We have an intruder!

· Let’s find out what we can from him!

· Are you here to hack this room…

· Do you know Saeyoung?

· Charlie the 3rd?

· Is Saeyoung safe?

· Is Saeyoung in mortal danger?

· Are you going to tell the agency…

· Tell us something! Anything is fine!

· I think you were

· No! Please, help us! (Saeran heart)

· My heart breaks whenever I think (Saeran Heart)

· And you will make that promise (Saeran heart)

· Are you telling him to instead save himself?

· But we don’t want to spend the rest of our lives…

· Are you going to report everything from this…

· But let’s not give up (Saeran heart)

· No, I’m gonna wait for you! (Saeran heart)

Story Mode

No Choices

SAVE AFTER THIS STORY MODE

Time: 2:22

How to Use Vanderwood

· Is that why you wanted us to log in…

· I don’t think that guy is very thorough…

· Vanderwood betrayed the agency! Like this? (Saeran heart)

· What if he’s stupid? What if he…

· I know you said that because you care… (Saeran heart)

· That’s right. He might help us once he… (Saeran heart)

· And it was all because Rika brainwashed…

· I’m sure Saeyoung was also manipulated by false information (Saeyoung heart)

· It must have been awful after you… (Saeran heart)

· Back then you were not ready to…

· I’m also getting this strong feeling.. (Saeran heart)

· I also had a feeling they…

· Please help us once, Vanderwood! I know… (Saeran heart)

· And a good expectation will manifest… (Saeran heart)

· Please!!! (Saeran heart)

· Nah, you’re the only one who thinks…

· Yeah, and now let’s get busy with our…

Time: 8:00

Zen is Awake!

· Zen!! Are you awake??

· I’m just grateful you are awake

· Maybe Saeran and I shouldn’t have left (Saeran heart)

· Could you please report it to the media?

· That’s right! Bring it on… (Zen heart)

· Not yet… It might be a trap

· It turned out the agency is…

· Don’t be disappointed with yourself

· Thanks for trying to look

· Okay. Now we are going to save…

SAVE AFTER THIS CHATROOM

Story Mode

· Yeah. Are you?

· Yes. I am not letting you go by yourself

· Are you the boss…

· We were told you will be in mortal danger…

· What kind of deal did you…

· You mean you’ll send them to…

· You want them to live caged lives…

· Saeyoung… You’re sacrificing yourself… (Saeyoung heart)

· But we cannot leave you here, Saeyoung

· We don’t have a choice. There’s nothing we can do…

NOTE RELOAD YOUR SAVE AFTER ZEN IS AWAKE And select: "This seems familiar...", "You can go ahead...", and "Okay." To receive Sad Ending 3.

Time: 9:45

Vanderwood’s Suggestion

· Vanderwood?

· Are you here to help us?

· How do we know this isn’t a trap?

· Your agency is a nightmare

· But won’t you get in trouble…

Story Mode

· What do we do now?

· But he just won’t care for himself

· Do you think we can trust Vanderwood?

· Let’s do that. For some reason I have…

· Let's put our faith in him. We're not leaving...

Time: 11:37

Saeyoung is with Rika

· Why are you here?

· Is it because you were scared…

· He wanted to save his brother

· You kidnapped Saeyoung!?

· Poor Saeyoung… He was manipulated (Saeyoung heart)

· I will never forgive the agency

· But the prime minister might…

· What drug?

Story Mode

· Saeyoung told the agency about the top secret…

· Are you sure we can trust you?

· Is it to put him to sleep?

· I have to be away from Saeran? I…

· Why would you do that? That’s exactly what happens in…

· I’m scared…

· Why don’t’ we go back to the hospital and… (Saeran heart)

· Why don’t we go back to C&R and…

· …No. We’re in this together (Saeran heart)

· I'm going to keep you safe, Saeran

Time: 13:15

Jumin Han is Here

· Rika has Saeyoung.

· Sorry. I can’t tell you (Jumin heart)

· Wow! I knew you’d be fit! (Zen heart)

· I bet you felt betrayed

· On a scale of 0 to 10

· Is your father really related to

· You mean you might lose..

· He didn’t betray us. He’s become his father’s… (Saeyoung heart)

· Did you hear anything from Saeran?

· What’s your secret?

· But you must have an emergency plan..

· I understand… You have lost…

· But if you put yourself in his shoes

· Let me know once you hear something

NOTE RELOAD AFTER THE STORY MODE FOLLOWING UNEXPECTED GUEST, AND SELECT ALL OPTIONS THAT INSULT/DOUBT VANDERWOOD. Do not agree to let Vanderwood help you. Do this to receive Sad Ending 4

Story Mode

· Where is Saeran right now?

· What do you mean, you lost the other…

· Why did you bring me here?

· You tricked me! (Saeran heart)

Time: 15:33

Vanderwood in Trouble

· You tricked me! (Saeran heart)

· Whose side are you on?

· Couldn’t you let both of us go?

· What do you mean?

· What happens if you get…

· Admit it – You’re a nice person

· But it’s adorable… I really want to see (Saeyoung heart)

· You’re returning the phone?

· Run and survive!

Story Mode

· I hope Vanderwood will be alright

· Saeran will never give up

· You are simply trying to make your dream… (Saeran heart)

· RFA might expose everything about

Time: 18:00

Rika’s Request

· Jumin, cheer up…

· They’re not coming

· Don’t you feel guilty?

· Yeah, unlike you. (Saeran heart)

· You were a great actress (Saeran heart)

· But do you really need those twins..

· But you cannot decide how they will (Saeran heart)

· I believe Saran will save… (Saeran heart)

· Saeran, if you read this… Don’t ever give up (Saeran heart)

· Just who led Saeyoung to the agency….

· Do you feel anything about RFA…

· Jumin will feel so betrayed (Jumin heart)

· Just because you say sorry… (Saeran heart)

· Saeran… I’m okay. (Saeran heart)

· V… Does that mean I cannot…

· Thank you, V (V heart)

· V… Are you really okay with everything..

Time 19:00

RFA in the Corner

· I’m waiting for Saeran

· You took in that gas again?!

· Maybe it’s a bluff

· Well, it’s not a perfect time for him to chat..

· I feel so bad for the twins…

· The agency is no easy opponent

· And we have no way to prove that we’re the good guys :’(

· That was a very brave…

· No talking on the messenger!

· How is Elizabeth 3rd? (Jumin heart)

· Maybe we should do that…

· We should stay away from…

· Calm down, Zen

· As soon as you do that he’ll be knocked…

· It’s okay. Don’t worry

· Vanderwood?

Story Mode

· Do you think Saeran will be here?

· Look behind

· Okay, okay…

· But you won’t be happy if someone tries to control

· Saeyoung? Are you awake?

· But he needs you

· Tell me.

· But how? You don’t have the right…

· I’m scared. That phone is the only tool you have…

· V, please… You have to help us

· V, you know this isn’t the answer

Time: 21:02

Why We Need Saeran

· You are so cold-blooded!

· Until when will the agency…

· Do you think he’s watching the messenger?

· Are you going to tell him to be silent and come find you?

· He will never give up… Not while he’s alive

· The problem lies with the life in a box (Saeran heart)

· But I don’t want to leave Saeran! (Saeran heart)

· This is too cruel… Finding this place…

· What are you gonna do now?

Story Mode

No choices

Time: 23:13

Did RFA Give Up?

· Did you hear anything from Saeran? (Saeran heart)

· You’ve made an excellent choice (Saeran heart)

· I feel bad for you, Zen (Zen heart)

· Is there really nothing else we can do?

· Please stay healthy, Zen (Zen heart)

· But we need Saeran here first

· :’(

Story Mode

No choices

Day 3:

Time: 1:02

Rika Wants Saeran

· The RFA won’t be using…

· They suffered a lot regarding…

· The agency is the biggest problem,

· You might think it’s protection, but..

· I wonder where Saeran is.. (Saeran heart)

· Maybe later

· No thanks lol

Story Mode

No choices

Time: 6:04

A Ticket Unused

· Saeran!!

· Are you safe?

· Are you really coming here?

· I love you too! (Saeran heart)

· You should be happy with me

· Why would you say that? I’m scared (Saeran heart)

· You’re gonna be here?

· But right now, we have to focus on surviving (Saeran heart)

· Okay… I’ll remember that

· Great! But...

· Okay… I’ll stay awake and wait

Story Mode

· I’ve missed you

· [Munch munch]

· If you keep making fun of me, you’ll pay for it

· No, we deserve to be happy

Time: 8:51

Saeran is Here

· Saeran! But this channel…

· Rika… Please let Saeran in…

· What took you so long?

· I think they’re putting him…

· We should be true to ourselves… (Saeran heart)

· But now RFA has nothing…

· I bet Rika doesn’t want to…

· She’s the seed of all pain!

· Are you avoiding the subject?

· One we reunite, I never want to…

· What freedom?

· You don’t want to repeat your past

· But Rika wouldn’t like that (Saeran heart)

· You hate Rika and V, don’t you? (Saeran heart)

· Okay, if that is what you choose… (Saeran heart)

· I’ll be waiting

Story Mode

· You should trust Saeran

· I’ve missed you

· Can’t you let me stay…

Time: 11:11

Rika’s Return

· Rika, where are you?

· You didn’t torture him, did you?

· Maybe he’s going to hurt them!

· Saeran will cause no harm (Saeran heart)

· I’m going to run with Saeran

· Ugh! I hate what’s happening!

Story Mode

· Do you have to do this?

· Saeran… wake up

· It must have been shocking and sad (Saeran heart)

· Saeran… one day you’ll be free and we’ll be… (Saeran heart)

· Only me and Saeyoung? (Saeran heart)

· What do you mean you’ll

· Why?

· RFA didn’t give up on you

· So did you make it?

· It’s too dangerous (Saeran heart)

· No, let me distract them!

· If Saeyoung brings down the agency..

· ….

· This so sad

Time: 12:48

Weight of the Past

· I’m so sad…

· And you left Saeran like this..?

· Hi, Saeran...

· Can I have your voice instead?

· Did you have to go this far?

· Saeran decide to leave past in the past (Saeran heart)

· It’s a good thing you left Magenta..

· Saeran changed himself. (Saeran heart)

· Trying to repeat a happy past can sometimes serve as greed

· She's not mad is she?

· You should reconsider (Saeran heart)

Story Mode

No choices

Time: 14:07

It Will Hurt, But We Will Be Happy

· Saeran! This is our love channel!

· Do we have to do this? (Saeran heart)

· I have a feeling we will fail (Saeran heart)

· Do you think they’ll get…

· But I don’t think I can live without you (Saeran heart)

· Please don’t leave me

· …

Story Mode

· Sniffle

· She might turn violent

· You can’t decide what Saeran will be like

· You are right… But please don’t die

Time: 16:25

I’ll Have None of This

· It’s a sad night

· Saeran’s will reached my heart (Saeran heart)

· To be honest, you’re…

Story Mode

· Feel what?

· But I want to spend as much time as I can

· I’ll be right back

Time: 17:55

I Promise You Will Be Happy

· Did you guys have an argument?

· I want you, Saeran (Saeran heart)

· Get one for Saeyoung (Seven heart)

· Do you have 2 tickers that will get us out?

· About what?

· No! Saeran is mine! (Saeran heart)

· Do you think you can make it someday?

· I’ll be having fun with Saeran

· What should we do now?

· Are we the only ones that know about this room?

· You mean including Jumin and Zen?

· I’m sad, too… Is there really no other way? (Saeran heart)

· Clouds? Why clouds?

· So your freedom was...

· Can’t you let me stay here? (Saeran heart)

· This is so sad. I don’t want to leave

· I was so happy I could meet them (Saeran heart)

· If you love me, why are you making me sad? (Saeran heart)

· Let’s think about a way to keep you safe?

· Yeah!

Story Mode

No choices

Time: 19:09

Rika is Changing

· I’m glad you released Saeran

· I think you mean tonight (Saeran heart)

· I want to live with just Saeran

· Do you think you can take another betrayal?

· I’m glad things loosened up

· Saeran is my love (Saeran heart)

· Please don’t stab Saeran… (V heart)

· Whatever happens, I hope you’d be happy, Rika

· I think I need someone to cleanse my head…

· Unlike his father

· If that’s what you want, you must one day…

· I’m glad I got to meet all of you

· Rika hurt your eyes…

· How long do you think this happiness will last? (Saeran heart)

· Do you think her hope is real?

· Is it related to Saeran?

· It’s okay. Saeran is strong (Saeran heart)

Story Mode

· Can’t I come with you?

Time: 21:39

The Weight of Truth

· V talked about this secret

· I don’t want to leave him

· Is Saeran okay

· What did you guys talk about?

· The death of their mother?

· Can’t you just stop

· You are pretending to be nice

· You can’t do this to him

· We must find Saeran! (Saeran heart)

· At least you didn’t wait any longer…

· You would still feel painful

· But that does not justify murder

· He didn’t talk to me

· You have until 11

· I’m so disappointed in both of you

· Saeran, are you okay?

Story Mode

· I don’t want to go

· Please don’t do this

· Please tell me you will survive

Time: 23:00

Rescue Plan

· Are we getting started?

· Is it okay to leave Saeran?

· Saeran

· I can't believe I must leave him... (Saeran heart)

· We’ll be back for Saeran, right?

· Saeyoung and Saeran didn’t even get to talk

· The prime minister won’t get to..

· What press conference?

· Thank you everyone

Story Mode

No choices

Day 4:

There are 3 bad endings, and one bad relationship ending on this day. The Normal end and Good end are also on this day.

Time: 2:16

Escape – Success!

· Saeran, I’m okay! (Saeran heart)

· I miss you Saeran

· I’ll be waiting

· I think I’m going to wait for Saeran

SAVE AFTER THIS CHATROOM

If you see "Story Mode: Savior" here then you haven't received enough hearts with Saeran and will trigger his Bad Relationship Ending (I feel this is the ending that brought most of us here, lolol... Help my heart.)

Story Mode

· I’ll go by myself if I have to!

· I’m coming with you!

· I will find Saeran

NOTE RELOAD YOUR SAVE AFTER ESCAPE - SUCCESS! And select: "Looks like there's nothing we can do...", "I think I'll stay here..." To receive Bad Ending 2

Time: 5:55

Vanderwood and Zen’s Argument

· Vanderwood, does this mean...

· You guys have such cute…

· You mean Yoosung?

· Looks like you have a lot of history..

· Come on, let’s be friendly

· Do you think Rika and V are not aware of this?

· I really hope Saeran is safe

· That’s what I heard

· I’m fine with anything as long as..

· I really hope that’d be the case

· Is there really no master key to get us

· I hope Saeran is okay…

· You kicked him out…

· I hope he can find a miracle for us

· Okay…

Story Mode

No choices

Time: 8:24

Saeyoung is Back

· Any news about Saeran?

· Are you gonna sign...

· It was so beautiful (Seven heart)

· I hope Saeran is safe

· Could you tell him I love him? (Two Saeran hearts)

· I’ll do that

· Good luck!

SAVE AFTER THIS CHATROOM

Story Mode

· The security’s changed…

· V, where is Saeran?

· Follow V

NOTE RELOAD YOUR SAVE AFTER SAEYOUNG IS BACK And select "Don't follow V" To receive Bad Ending 3

Time: 10:00

The Last Discussion

· Yoosung, are you okay?

· If you get to see her again…

· Like me and Saeran?

· Welcome Jumin

· We can beat them

· Do you think sweet and sour

· Please, go ahead

· But some people become stars without

· Yeah, but it won’t be easy

· So, Ray…

· Life

· From imprisonment to…

· That we are all responsible

· It’s so good to…

· Thank you for your sermon

· Let’s not lose ourselves

· Whatever it’s about good luck!

· We won’t be lonely if we’re together

· Hopefully I’ll get to…

· He is… He’ll be okay

SAVE AFTER THIS CHATROOM

Story Mode

· Where is Saeran?

· Embrace Rika

· But now you will change

· Go save Saeran

NOTE RELOAD YOUR SAVE AFTER THE LAST DISCUSSION And select "(Don't go save Saeran)" To receive the Normal Ending.

The Final Episode

· Saeran!

· Please stay alive

· He’s gotta be somewhere around here! I can feel it!

· He’s around here. I know

· I must go

· Leave the rest and run

· Saeran, please don’t go

· I love you

· Now you should be happy with me

· Wake up!

· Pity

· Saeran and Saeyoung simply wanted

· Your lonely heart…

· Saeran will forgive you…but

· You will pay

· I’m sure you had something…

· But can’t you see?

· Does survival matter that much?

· You must be so lonely

· We must get him to a hospital!

· Saeran, hang in there!

· Saeyoung, please

· Hopefully Saeran…

· But Saeran forgave him

· Okay. I’ll let you know once he wakes..

· Saeran?

· What is it?

· Are you saying…

· Saejoong Choi!

· Why did you find…

· Did you have a change of...

You’ve made it! Select whatever you like!

[princess-of-riviaa]

Record Breaking

Pairing: Henry Cavill x Reader (first person POV)

Summary: Porn without plot, or the time Henry wants to bring your pleasure to new levels.

Warning(s): dirty talk, thigh riding, fingering, oral (f receiving), overstimulation, aftercare

Word Count: 2,766

“How many times have you cum before?”

It’s an intimate question, one I take by surprise. I audibly gasp at Henry as he finally closes the distance between us. His hands come up to rest on the counter on either side of my hips, blocking me in. He leans down to bring his face close to mine and my arousal starts to drip through my panties at the lustful look he’s giving me.

“Um…” I struggle to remember his question, let alone think of an answer. “F-four. That’s my record.”

He quirks an eyebrow, like this surprises him. “Four? And who was the magical guy that did that to you? Anyone I know?”

I swallow before shaking my head no. “It was… on my own. I’ve never actually had more than one orgasm with a guy before.”

I swear his pupils dilate even more at that. “I swear I’m gonna keep you here and make you touch yourself until you orgasm that many times one day, but as for now…” His lips brush against my neck, just under my ear, and I shiver, which makes my chest brush against his. Every inch of me is already on fire and he hasn’t even done anything. His mouth latches onto my skin and begins to suck hard enough for me to cry out in pleasure. When he finally pulls away, there’s a cocky grin on his face--he knows exactly what he’s doing to me. “As for now, little one, I’m going to be the one to make you cum. Over and over again. Until we break that little record of yours. How does that sound?”

I’m only able to nod, my arousal locking my throat up.

He smiles before kissing me, his tongue instantly pushing inside my mouth. I moan loudly, which only grants him more access to me. His hands latch around my hips and pull me tight against him. I feel like putty in his arms with the way he’s making me burn alive. He nudges his leg between mine, moving me until I’m practically sitting on his thigh. He begins to move my hips back and forth. I know exactly what he’s doing, but I’m just too fucking aroused to feel nervous about it. My hips move of their own accord. His hands return to my sides and he watches my expression as I begin to ride his thigh with fervor.

“That’s it, little one, I want you to ride my thigh,” he growls, the sound of his voice making my breasts ache. “Ride me until you’re staining my clothes with your cum.”

I don���t dare stop, feeling my mind numb with a blissful fog. Either Henry’s a mind reader or he can see what I want written clearly on my face because a second later he’s ripping my dress off of me and kneading my breasts in his hands.

“Oh, fuck!” I cry out. I clutch onto his shirt, needing something to ground me.

“The things I’m gonna do to you, to this perfect body of yours… God I can’t wait to destroy your fucking pussy.”

His words and the images they procure in my mind make me moan. My hips begin to move even faster. I can practically taste my first orgasm now and my eyes squeeze shut as I chase it down.

“F-fuck!” I cry out as my body explodes with pleasure so intense that I can’t breathe for several seconds. Fuck, fuck, fuck he feels so good, and he hasn’t even touched me yet…

He kisses me slowly. It’s the kind of kiss that I can feel in every inch of my body. “You’re such a little slut, coming all over my leg like that…” He pulls his leg back and we both glance down at the wet spot on his jeans. “Look at the mess you made.”

“I’m sorry…” I gasp out, still feeling the effects of my orgasm.

“No you’re not,” he laughs darkly. Then he sets me on top of the counter and forces my legs apart. “But you’re about to be.”

I open my mouth to ask him what that means, but a second later he shoves a thick, calloused finger inside of me and a moan comes out of me instead of words. He moves his finger in and out of me at a pace too slow to do anything but tease me.

“P-please…” I cry out.

“Please what?” His voice is a low growl.

“Please fuck me,” I manage to get out. “I want to cum on your hand.” Normally I’m too embarrassed to talk dirty, but my arousal has pushed me past the point of modesty.

Henry licks a stripe up my neck before nipping up my ear. I melt into him just as he adds another finger. The stretch comes with a painful sting but it’s gone the moment he starts curling his fingers inside of me, replacing the pain with hot euphoria. It takes just a few flicks of his skilled fingers to make me reach the edge. One touch of his thumb against my clit pushes me over the edge and I clench his shirt as my body shakes uncontrollably. My breath gets stuck in my throat, my vision turning white.

“H-holy fuck,” I gasp out. A second later Henry’s fingers are pushing their way into my mouth. I taste my arousal as my tongue brushes against his thick digits. My gaze jumps to his as I suck on his fingers. The way he looks at me… I can tell he’s thinking of shoving something else inside my mouth and letting me suck on that instead. I let out a pornagraphic moan around his fingers, just to tease him.

“If I had known you were such a fucking slut…” he begins, but never finishes his thought.

I wait until he pulls his fingers out of my mouth to reply, “What? What would you have done?”

He places his hand on my stomach and pushes me back until I’m lying across his counter. His hand slowly crawls up my body until it wraps around my throat. I let out a moan as he tightens his grip, choking me.

“I would have claimed you as mine a lot sooner,” he says, and then he puts his mouth on me.

He licks a long stripe up my already-soaked folds. That is enough to make my entire body shudder. My pussy is sensitive from the last two orgasms and the stimulation hurts, but that fire in my core is still too far away for my liking. I want to be surrounded by it; I want to be burned alive in it. And I want Henry to be the one to make me feel it.

If there’s one thing I take away from tonight, it’s that Henry Cavill deserves a fucking gold medal in eating a girl out. That tongue of his is magical and he knows just how to use it. I’m gasping and writhing beneath him in no time. He gives attention to both my clit and my entrance, occasionally fucking his tongue in and out of me well enough to make my eyes roll back in my head. I clutch his curls between my fingers, torn between wanting to push him away and wanting to bring him closer to my pussy, even though he’s already as close as possible. His hands find their way under my ass and lift me up from the counter so he has a better angle. My hips buck up to meet every movement of his tongue until I’m coming, I’m coming so intensely that I squirt. He steps back but still keeps a finger brushing over my clit, making me squirt for several long seconds. I have no doubt I’m making a total mess of his kitchen floor, but that’s the last thing on my mind right now.

When I’m able to focus again, his mouth is on mine. I kiss him back hungrily. Henry’s suddenly covered in too many layers; I want him open and vulnerable, just how I am. I reach for his shirt, but he must know what I want because he yanks it over his head and tosses it on the ground before I have to say anything. I gasp at the sight of him.

Henry Cavill is a high-status actor. There’s no doubt about it. There’s also no doubt about his perfect physique, since there’s plenty of shirtless workout photos of him on the internet. But Henry Cavill, the actor, the star, the celebrity--that’s not who I’ve gotten to know in this last month over nervous dates and late-night phone calls. The Henry I’ve gotten to know is a simple guy who plays video games and loves his dog and is insecure about his body, unable to see the perfections in himself. The Henry I know, the Henry I’m falling for, is so human it overwhelms me sometimes. And now, as I see him shirtless in person for the first time, it’s like those two different versions of Henry are colliding and morphing to become one. I suddenly feel awestruck and intimidated, like I don’t deserve to see him like this.

“Shit,” Henry grumbles.

I meet his gaze to find him staring at me like I’ve disappointed him. “What is it?”

“You’re doing it,” he says, like it should be obvious. “You’re suddenly remembering I’m Superman, I’m the Mission Impossible guy, I’m The Witcher.”

With every passing second I can sense him building his walls higher, locking his heart away from me.

“Henry…” I start, but don’t know what to say. He’s right; I am doing that--I’m completely dehumanizing him, idolizing him, turning him into a god in my head. And I promised on our first date--the first time we saw each other in person after being two strangers who texted for weeks--that he didn’t have to worry about me ever doing that.

He turns to pick up his shirt, but before he can put it back on I grab his arm. Carefully, but hard enough to gain his attention.

“You’re not Henry Cavill to me,” I tell him. “You’re not the same Henry to me as you are to every other person in the world. You don’t have to prove anything, be anything other than who you are. You’re an actor who’s been in huge, successful films because you’re talented, and I applaud you for that, but it doesn’t change how I see you.” I won’t let it change how I see you. “You’re not just the movie guy to me, okay?”

He hesitates. The look in his eyes tells me I’ve convinced him, but his body betrays him.

“You’re Henry,” I continue, “the guy who’s best friend is his dog. You’re the guy that bought me a new pair of shoes when my heel broke on our first date. You’re the guy who I hate taking to family dinners purely because you get along with my family better than I do. You’re not the movie guy to me, you’re a million other things. So please don’t put your shirt on. I want to look at you.”

That convinces him. He lets go of his shirt and keeps his arms at his side, letting me take in every inch of him. He’s not even flexing yet his abs and biceps are outlined clearly beneath his skin. He’s large, his shirts hiding just how broad he is. Dark, curly hair swirls around his pecs and beneath his naval, hugged on either side by the V of his hips, which disappears beneath his jeans. I finally notice the erection straining against his zipper and it takes every ounce of self-control not to reach out for it.

“Fuck,” I softly exhale as I bite my lower lip. I’m suddenly very aware of my heart racing in my chest, adding to the heat coursing through my body, and the fact that I’m very, very tiny compared to him. The size difference between us is almost laughable. When I look back at his eyes, I realize just how blown his pupils are. The air between us is electric, filled with sexual tension.

Henry slowly, teasingly slowly, reaches for his jeans. He pops the button. I catch a glimpse of dark blue underwear as he drags his zipper down, taking his time to reveal what I’m so desperate to see.

“Henry,” I whine without meaning to. As soon as his name leaves my mouth I’m blushing like an idiot, though it just makes him smirk.

His fingers hook around his belt loops. He tugs them down. My heart is in my throat at this point and I’m so wet that I can feel my arousal drip onto the counter. My eyes catch onto the writing on the band of his underwear. Calvin Klein is written in bold, white letters. I have no idea why I need to know that, but I feel myself storing that information away for later. His underwear is tented with the thick outline of his erection. I’m just now beginning to realize that Henry is big… everywhere. I swallow when I realize that he’s easily seven inches, but probably closer to eight.

How the hell am I supposed to fit him inside of me? The thought scares me as much as it arouses me.

Henry finally, finally lowers his underwear. I realize I’d been holding my breath when I let out a humiliating moan at the sight of his cock. There’s a thick vein that runs along the side. He curves a bit along the head, and his tip is red and already leaking pre-cum. I lick my lips, wanting him in my mouth as much as I want him buried deep inside of me.

When he finally speaks, his voice is loud amidst the quiet tension. “If you aren’t ready to do this, tell me now, because in a few seconds I won’t be able to stop.”

I force my gaze to meet his. My want must be written all over my face because he doesn’t hesitate a second longer. He closes the distance between us and pulls me in for a slow, sensual kiss that I feel in every inch of my body.

“I want you,” I get out between breathless kisses.

He growls in response and his mouth begins to trail down my neck, down my chest. He stops to suck on each of my nipples before moving his mouth lower.

“Henry!” I call out before he can put his mouth on me again.

He freezes and looks up at me, his eyes completely dark with sinful lust.

“I don’t want your mouth,” I say. “I want--I need…”

“Use your words, little one.” He kisses each of my hips as he waits for me to speak. The way he touches me sends me straight to cloud nine. His hands, his mouth, his tongue--everything about him is addicting.

“I want you inside of me,” I admit. “I want you to fuck me, Henry.”

His smile presses against my skin. A second later he stands up and wraps his hand around his cock. I let out a ridiculous moan as he drags it between my folds, not just to soak up my wetness but to tease me until I’m close to the edge again. I reach out for him, grabbing onto his arm as he grips my hip in his hand. With his other hand he guides his cock to my entrance. He barely pushes an inch inside of me before the pain starts, my walls already stretching to the point of a bitter sting. I hold my breath as he slowly enters me, careful not to go too fast. My legs are spread wide on the counter, allowing me to watch his cock disappear inside my pussy. I let out a small whimper when he’s not even halfway inside of me; I swear it feels like he’s ripping my body in half. He’s so big, and I’m so tiny, so tight… But the pain is gone as soon as he bottoms out inside of me, his head resting snugly against my cervix.

“Fuck, you’re so goddamn tight,” Henry grunts out as he leans in for a kiss. This kiss isn’t about the passion or the heat--it’s his way of telling me that this moment is as much about me as it is about him, and if I need him to stop, he’ll stop. He won’t push me. I can trust him.

And I do trust him, enough to say, “Fuck me, Henry.”

...

Tag Squad:

@agniavateira​ @hnryycvll​ @littlefreya​ @celestial-vomit​ @lestersglitterglue​ @watermeloncavill​ @honeychicana​ @penwieldingdreamer​ @mary-ann84​ @elixasays​ @buckysgoldenheart​ @noz4a2​ @trippedmetaldetector​ @omgkatinka​ @lunedelorient​ @aphrodites-punch​ @yespolkadotkitty​ @sweetybuzz25​ @iloveyouyen​ @deathonyourtongue​ @utterlyhopeful​ @wondersofdreaming​ @tsukuyomi011​ @the-soot-sprite @desperate-and-broken​ @jayismz @emelinelovesjc @palaiasaurus64​ @wolvesandhoundshowltogether​ @henrythickcavill​ @secretlyactivated​ @madbaddic7ed​ @persephonehemingway​ @geralt-of-baevia​ @stargazingfangirl18​ @thedarkplume​ @spookypeachx​ @pensieveforyourthoughts​ @aletheladyinred​ @littlemissthistle @designerwriterchic​ @becs-bunker​ @angelic-kisses13​ @captainbigdy​ @sestrasasylum​

Let me know if you want to be added/removed from my taglist!

[lilbabycee]

bunny // steve rogers (part one) 🐰

READ PART TWO

↳ summary: the reader finds herself in a little bit of trouble... financially. enter steve rogers. 

↳ relationship: soft dark!steve rogers x brat!reader

↳ word count: 5.6k

↳ warnings: sugar baby au, eventual dark steve, daddy kink, eventual smut, mentions of substance abuse, unhealthy coping mechanisms + relationships, the reader is rich and a little bit of a bitch

↳ author’s note: i started writing this series ages ago but i’m thinking that maybe posting it on here will give me the inspiration to continue! please enjoy! ❤️

chapter one: you expensive you know that?

—

" you expensive, you know that?

i'm high-maintenance a little but not in a, not in a negative way

i just like extremely expensive things"

- faithful, drake

—

“But Daddy-!”

“No, absolutely not,” your father shuts you down without hesitation which immediately makes your eyes water.

“Please, I promise I won’t do it again-”

“That’s what you said the last time,” he reminds you nonchalantly and you can hear the rapid clicking of a keyboard in the background of the call. He’s not even paying full attention to you, likely still working on whatever the CEO of a multi- billion dollar corporation needs to work on.

“But I’m serious this time!” you insist, cocking a hip and tapping your acrylics loudly on the top of your marble kitchen counter. “You know what I’m like - I swear I’ll do better this time-”

“Nope,” his hard tone cuts you off as you hear his office phone ring. He sighs loudly over the receiver which makes your heart fall. “Look, honey-”

You know what’s coming and you can’t even try to stop it.

“-I’ve got another call coming in. I’m not sending you another dime until you can prove to me that you have the ability to be financially independent. I didn’t pay for all of those expensive private schools so that you could sit on your ass all day and blow my money like it’s in endless supply. You have all the necessary credentials to go and get a well-paying job, so go get one, goddammit. And please call your mother - she’s been trying to call you all day. Neither of us have any time left to entertain your little addictions nor your blatant disregard for the hard work that we’ve put in to get you where you are today.

“You’ve proven to me before that you are grossly incapable of doing even the simplest of tasks, so don’t let me down with this one,” he sighs loudly. “Sometimes, I wish you were more like my colleagues’ kids - they’re doctors and lawyers but all you are is ungrateful. I’ve really gotta take this call,” he says your name sternly which makes you tap your nails even faster. “Do as you’re told for once in your damn life.”

“Daddy-!” you borderline shriek once more before the phone clicks and he’s off attending to more important business.

You don’t even realize that you’re pouting until your lips start to tremble, nor do you realize how much his words have gotten to you until you touch your cheek gently with your fingertips and they come back wet and glistening like gold in the warm light of day.

Maybe he’s right. You’ve been living in this penthouse for the past year without having to worry about anything. You loved it when you attended the first viewing, mainly because of the huge windows, three bedrooms and bathrooms (that you definitely don’t need because you live alone), the open plan, spacious kitchen and living areas, and the fact that all of your neighbors are either famous or excessively wealthy like you. You saw the acquirement of this apartment as a prime opportunity to further climb the social ladder, not that it’s really all that hard for you considering the fact that your father is one of the richest people in not only New York but the entire country. But you’d lived in Italy for a year prior to moving back to New York and upon your return to the USA, you decided that you really wanted to re-establish a name for yourself here, of course with the help of your father. He bought the penthouse almost the moment that you said you had your eye on it, and he just kind of…left you here. He’s only come to visit a handful of times since you bought it two years ago, though your mother has been over far more frequently to your utter dismay.

You inhale deeply through your nose, your eyelash extensions fluttering dramatically against your cheekbones. Grabbing your phone - the newest iPhone that you bought after you broke your other one at your friend Peter’s party - you sulk over to one of your ridiculously overpriced couches and fall dramatically - but not dramatically enough to crease the material of your latest drunk purchase, a white Gucci jumpsuit - on top of all your throw pillows, the picture of a damsel in distress. Your freshly manicured toes - painted white yesterday - curl into the softness of it as you huff, dabbing delicately at your face again to rid yourself of any traces of sadness before thinking about what the hell you’re going to do next.

Yes, you have a savings account that is far more than enough for you and your grandchildren’s grandchildren to live lavish lives and while that’s all well and good, even you know that you probably shouldn’t spend that... but it’d have to do until you found another way to get your money. With that, you shrug noncommittally and your face ID unlocks your phone so that you can start your newest endeavor - buying one of everything off of Alexander Wang.

Sure, you should be proactive and take initiative to finally take the steps to distance yourself from your parents, but you’ve only just had your twentieth birthday. After graduating from high school at fifteen - yes, fifteen: your parents really pushed you, to say the least, and it helped that you were naturally intelligent beyond the capabilities of even the nation’s best high school teachers -  you started your undergraduate at Harvard in the fall and finished at eighteen. You took what you dubbed an ‘extended summer vacation’ - hence Italy - and now you’re at an impasse.

Okay, admittedly your various interests - you refuse to call them addictions because they’re really not that serious - that may or may not include a wide array of party drugs and alcohol probably don’t make you the most trustworthy person in the eyes of your parents. But you’ve done everything that they’ve told you to do for the past twenty years of your life - can they blame a girl for wanting to have a little fun? A smile spreads across your face as, while scrolling, you spy the blue dad jeans that were completely out of stock just last week and quickly add them to your cart with a sense of self-satisfaction before continuing to add almost everything else to your bag. It’s not like you’re heavily dependent on anything - substance abuse is not a good look for you: it was definitely more early 2000s than now - and you only do them recreationally in social situations, so your parents really have nothing to worry about. They’re overly paranoid about you somehow tarnishing their image when in reality, your work in and outside of an academic setting has really bolstered their reputation more than they could have ever hoped for - not to toot your own metaphorical horn, but your endless philanthropic work coupled with your eagerness to “make a change” and your work in fashion has put you on the Forbes 30 Under 30 every year since you were fifteen.

You press the checkout button and your Apple Pay seamlessly completes the purchase for you: $29,000. Shrugging noncommittally, you lock your phone and stare pensively at the picturesque view of New York City outside of your window; that is until Alexa alerts you that Natasha is calling you.

Perfect timing.

Natasha’s voice echoes over the loudspeakers in the ceiling. “Hey, bunny,” she greets you and you groan loudly at the nickname, restlessly hopping up to grab a glass of water from your kitchen.

“Hey Nat,” you reply, more of a whine than anything else, and she laughs loudly at your tone.

“What happened to you? “

“Daddy cut me off,” you huff, walking to the couches in front of the TV and settling down with your glass of water. With a press of a few buttons on the universal remote, you FaceTime your best friend instead - a flash of red hair and then a blindingly white smile. She assesses you on your couch and laughs again, a full-bodied cackle that only intensifies your pout.

“It’s not funny,” you protest, although the corners of your lips are quirking up in amusement at her ridiculous laughter.

“What did I tell you?” Natasha struggles to get the words out in between chuckles. “I knew he was gonna do this-”

“Yeah, so did I, but I didn’t think he’d do it this soon-!”

“I’m surprised he didn’t do it sooner,” Natasha moves around a little before propping her phone up against her knees so that you can see her sitting comfortably in her bed. She starts picking at her own black acrylics, “and you can’t deny, bunny-”

“Don’t say I deserve this,” you narrow your eyes at her, and Natasha only sends you her signature smirk.

“I wouldn’t say you deserve it, per se,” Natasha begins, “but you’ve gotta admit,” she says your name, clearly on the verge of laughter again, “I like a party as much as the next girl, but you do go a little overboard-”

“I wouldn’t say overboard,” you insist, suddenly taking up a very keen interest in your cuticles. “Here’s what it is: Mother doesn’t like the fact that I don’t like her and Daddy’s just flat out disappointed in me for no reason-”

“-apart from the fact that you very nearly got caught doing lines of blow off of Senator Pierce’s son-”

“Shhhh,” you interrupt her, closing your eyes and pressing a finger to your lips while shaking your head, unable to fight the growing grin on your face. “That was one time-”

“You mean the one time you got caught-?”

“Yes, Natasha, that’s what I mean. Anyway - you never call me like this unless you need something - thought you were gonna text me instead. What’s up? Is it Bru-”

“Oh, no,” Natasha quickly cuts you off, her cheeks flushing red. “Bruce and I have been over for a while now-”

“You were just talking about him last week-”

“Yeah, yeah,” she deflects, tapping her fingers on her thigh. “I was actually calling to see if you wanted to go shopping for Parker’s party that’s tonight-?”

“Yes, absolutely yes - why would you even have to ask-?”

“Okay, cool,” she interrupts you, smiling toothily. “Get Jarvis to get you there by 2:30 - I wanna go to the Louis store: the summer collection just dropped-”

“Sounds perfect-”

“But one more thing,” she says your name again but in a more concerned tone. You finish your glass of water and set it on the coffee table before leaning forward slightly.

“What’s going on, Nat?”

“I’m worried about you, bunny,” both her eyes and her tone have softened drastically, making you purse your lips. “What’re you gonna do now that your dad’s not giving you any more money?”

You sigh loudly through your nose, shaking your head. “I don’t know, Nat,” you admit, snapping a hair tie against the skin of your wrist rapidly. “I’ll just have to find a job - or do more sponsorships and ads and get back into modeling and maybe actually try acting this time?”

Her green eyes pin you to your couch, even through the screen, and she scrutinizes your face for almost a full thirty seconds before scrunching up her nose and nodding hesitantly. “Alright. As long as you’re sure that you can make it work… because if not, I have an option that I think you may like…”

Your eyebrows shoot to your hairline as you motion for her to continue.

“Y’know how Wanda got really into that thing a couple of years ago?”

Your brain works overtime, trying to remember exactly what it was that Wanda was doing - all you remember is that it was fairly secretive and she didn’t tell you a lot about why she kept sneaking around.

“She was seeing that older guy,” you snap your fingers when you remember, Natasha’s slow nod confirming it, and then promptly frown because-

“What does this have to do with me?” You stare directly into Natasha’s eyes as she falters, obviously wondering if it’s too late to just backtrack altogether - yes, it is - and then she sighs.

“She wasn’t just seeing him,” your best friend starts slowly, choosing her words with great care, “she was his sugar baby.”

Now, this is news to you.

“You’re fucking with me,” you scoff in disbelief. “Wanda?”

Natasha keeps nodding, blowing her bubblegum between her rouge-painted lips until it pops with a sharp snap. “I’m serious, you can go ask her. But believe me, I was just as surprised as you when she first told me-”

“She didn’t tell me,” you murmur, something akin to betrayal burning your tear ducts. Natasha only barks out a laugh and clucks her tongue at you in a decidedly motherly way.

“Of course she didn’t tell you,” the redhead snorts, shaking her head. “She didn’t want you getting any ideas,” she says your name through a laugh, “you were - what - like eighteen two years ago? That would’ve been questionable at best -”

“But you guys didn’t know that I was gonna do anything-”

“Come on, bunny,” Natasha pins you with a look that shuts you up almost immediately. “Give us some credit - we’re not dumb and we know you-”

“Fine,” you drag out the last syllable of the word childishly. “So why mention it to me now?”

“Because you’re old enough… and in a situation where your Daddy’s not paying for any of your stuff anymore.”

You tilt your head to the side, eyes narrowing in suspicion.

“Yeah, okay, but I’ve got, like, a lot of other opportunities that I don’t even need to work for,” you tell her cockily, crossing your arms over your chest defensively. “Why should I take this one when I could get any other real job so easily?”

Natasha’s lips curve into that same smirk. “Because you’re a whore.”

You collapse into a fit of giggles but she’s right. Really and truly, you are - what you like to call - a self-proclaimed slut. But any woman who’s free enough in her sexuality seems to be one these days, so you own the title that’s been hurled at you like an insult for so many years. You wear it with pride... for the most part, but not too much pride because you still have parents who still - somehow - think you’re a total virgin.

(you are still a virgin but your promiscuity makes people think otherwise)

“Right,” you agree easily, tapping your nails on the arm of the couch.

“Just something for you to think about,” Natasha hums, checking the time on her watch before rubbing the sleeve of her white Balenciaga hoodie over her face “Now, leave me alone. I’ve gotta go get ready; I’ll see you in a few.”

Without any further conversation, she ends the call and leaves you laughing light-heartedly although something heavy continues to weigh on your conscience. A sugar daddy. You can’t lie to yourself and say that it’s something that you’ve never thought about before - because it most definitely is - and it’s been the shameless subject of some of your filthiest dreams. Are you going to lie and say that you don’t have an… affinity for older men? No, you aren’t. Are you gonna tell yourself that the idea of a man spoiling you doesn’t make heat burn in your core? Absolutely not. However, you’ve never thought of yourself as the submissive type. Your confidence - no, cockiness has always been a real defining trait for you and that’s always worked in your favor when it comes to romance or even sex. You take what you want, rather than waiting for it to come to you. Although, you have a feeling that an attitude like that could get you in a lot of trouble in circumstances like these.

But what’s life without a little danger?

—

You’ve put on a tight, cropped black t-shirt and on top, a brown Fendi mini dress with thin spaghetti straps that clings to your body like a second skin; your feet are clad in heeled Louboutin ankle boots. Grabbing your black Prada bag and almost comically giant black, square Burberry sunglasses, you stare at your reflection in the mirror. You only put on a little bit of blush, mascara, and tinted lipgloss, accessorizing with small golden hoops, an array of rings that have been gifted to you by either your father or your ex-boyfriends and a simple gold necklace that spells out ‘bunny’ in cursive, a gift from Natasha. Satisfied, you slide your sunglasses onto your face and head to the elevator, phone in hand.

When you reach the lobby, Jarvis is waiting for you, holding the door open with a kind smile on his face.

“Miss,” he greets you, ushering you out the door. You basically jump on him, winding your arms around his neck and he chuckles as you sway back and forth in your embrace.

“Afternoon, Jarvis,” you grin at him.

The two of you walk outside to the black Range Rover with the tinted windows - black matches your outfit today - and as you climb in the back, your security detail split up into the other SUVs in front and behind you.

“So, what’s the plan today?” Jarvis asks you conversationally, stopping at a red light not even 15 seconds after you pull away from the front of your apartment. Damn New York traffic.

“Nat and I are going to Nordstrom’s,” you tell him despite the fact that he already knows, but he nods regardless. “And then Peter Parker’s hosting a party tonight.”

“And will you be needing a ride to that event?”

“No thanks, J,” you shoot him a smile before looking back down at your phone. “I’ll probably get a ride with Natasha.”

Jarvis nods and the rest of the ride passes in comfortable silence, the radio playing softly and the clicking of your nails on your phone screen the only sounds in the car.

—

“There’s absolutely no way you’re wearing that-”

“Shut up, Nat!” you squeal, grabbing the dress off the rack. “It’s kinda cute!”

Your best friend rolls her eyes at you fondly, staring at the monstrosity that you’re clutching in your hands.

“Tell me you’re kidding,” she deadpans, searching your face almost desperately for any sign of sarcasm.

You act offended: “I’m not!”

Nat just pokes you in the sides, tugs on your earlobe, and continues her hunt, which makes you burst into loud laughter and leaves the store employees looking at the two of you  in what you’ve come to recognize as contained, professional amusement.

—

It’s about an hour before the party starts when you even start thinking about getting ready. In a Versace robe with your hair wrapped up in a towel, you’re scrolling through Instagram with a mud mask on. Nat comes into the room and shrieks at the sight of your face, making you flick your eyes up and grin as wide as the mask lets you. With her hand over her heart, she stares at you dryly while silent little chuckles shake your whole body.

“You’re in a good mood,” she remarks, eyeing you with an air of suspicion.

“Of course I am, Nat,” you look at her in disbelief. “I’m about to get wasted tonight-”

She interrupts you by calling your name out in a warning tone. Your only response is a dramatic roll of your eyes.

“We’re going so that we can have fun, not so you can go on a bender-”

“I won’t!” you drop your phone and throw your hands up in exasperation. “Holy shit, Mom - do you have no confidence in me?!”

Loud silence hangs in the air for a minute while Nat just blinks at you.

“...remember when you left me alone in Manhattan because you went to go trip on acid with Senator Coulson’s son-”

“Oh my God, Nat, okay, I get it - I’m a shitty friend and a drug addict, blah blah blah, whatever-”

“You’re not an addict,” she corrects you. “You just... really like doing drugs.”

You shrug, stretching your arms over your head, bringing them back down and then slapping your hands loudly on the bare skin of your thighs. The sound makes Nat flinch which amuses you mildly before you yawn loudly.

“Need me to help you with anything before I start getting ready?” you offer, knowing that once you start getting ready, you’re going to be in your own little world for about an hour and a half.

Natasha - who is significantly less high-maintenance than you - shakes her head. You nod, standing up and heading into her bathroom to wash the mud off your face.

“Did you think about what I told you earlier?” she asks, following you into the spacious room to lay on the chaise tucked against the wall behind you. You lock eyes with her in the mirror as she stretches herself out like a feline.

“Yeah,” you say nonchalantly. “Just for a little, but I don’t know if that kinda thing is for me.”

She runs her tongue over her bottom lip, looking down at her nails. “Oh, okay. I was just wondering ‘cause Wanda said there would be some people that she knows are into that kinda thing at Parker’s tonight-”

Oh, now your interest is peaked. You whip around, towel still in hand from drying your face, and stare her dead in the eye.

“For real?”

“Yeah, but if you’re not really interested-”

“Shut up, Natasha, you know I’m interested.” Your heart beats fast in your chest and your teeth catch on your lower lip, gnawing on it gently. Your fingers come back up to your wrist and stretch the elastic so that it bounces back against your skin. “Like… a lot of them will be there?”

She nods, regarding you with cool interest. “At least that’s what Wanda said. She’s better versed in this whole thing than I am.”

You can only bob your head up and down, suddenly nervous about attending this party. Natasha can sense it, putting a comforting hand on your arm.

“Look, bunny, it’ll be fine,” she gives you a reassuring smile. “They’ll love you. And if you change your mind, you won’t even have to interact with them in the first place; you’ll just be like any other person attending this thing. But Wanda knows a lot of them - that should be reassuring enough: she knows all about these guys, so it’s not like she’s going to introduce us to any major creeps.”

“Okay.”

—

“Okay,” you breathe out. Okay, you can do this. You’ve met presidents and prime ministers, singers and actors, kings and queens, but you’ve never been this nervous in your entire life.

Granted, none of those people were asking you to exchange sex for money, so it’s not really the same thing.

You’re wearing Dolce & Gabbana tonight - because they asked you to - and the golden silk dress that hits your mid-thigh and hugs your body so tight that it looks as if you were poured into it makes it all worth it. It shows off all of the dips and curves of your body and paired with your Alexander Vauthier clear slingback heels and a gold Vanina pearl-embellished handbag, you feel like a million dollars (even though that’s definitely not what this outfit costs). Natasha is standing next to you in a black Dolce & Gabbana corset dress - because they asked her to - and black red bottoms.

Your long red nails come up to toy with your ‘bunny’ necklace while you scan the massive crowds for a friendly face. It’s true that between the two of you, it is very much likely that you know - or know of - everybody here. But you don’t spare them a second glance despite the fact that they’re ogling you. No, you don’t linger on the bulging muscles and impressive height nor the full lips and pretty hair like you usually do. Instead, you’re looking for-

“Wanda! ” you call out, eyes falling on her reddish-brown hair flowing down her back in loose waves.

She’s standing by the bar, speaking to someone that you don’t know when she turns around, blue eyes quickly landing on you as she gives you that charming smile. Grabbing Nat’s hand, you run over to her and envelop her in a warm embrace. She squeals loudly, stumbling back as you realize that she’s probably already had a few drinks by now.

“Hi, guys,” she greets the two of you, looking up and down at your outfits approvingly. “You look hot.”

You return the compliment and pressing a kiss to her cheek, you stroke her hair while she and Nat engage in conversation. You take the opportunity to stare at all of the different groups of people who have gathered on Peter’s rooftop. There must be at least 300 people here already - the night has barely started - and you can see not a single person who looks like an old man. You furrow your brow, squinting and pushing up on your toes to see if you can see anyone that you don’t vaguely recognize from somewhere or another.

“Lookin’ for someone?”

The voice is unmistakable.

“Peter!”

He says your name in what’s only a mildly offensive mockery of your tone. You abandon Wanda and throw yourself into the arms of the boy, ruffling his already unkempt hair and also smacking a loud kiss on his cheek. He chuckles, his arm winding around your waist as he says hello to both Wanda and Nat.

Apparently you’re in a hugging mood tonight.

“I’m glad you guys could all make it,” he smiles so sweetly that you kiss him again, his cheeks turning flaming red. Peter has always been like a little brother to you although he’s actually a year older. You both went to high school and college together, and it helps that your mother and his aunt are also really good friends.

Except you don’t know how anybody could want to be friends with your demon of a mother.

“We couldn’t miss this,” Wanda gestures around her, pinching Peter on the cheek like a child which makes him frown. “Where’s MJ, Petey?”

You all “ooh” like high schoolers and Peter’s face turns somehow even redder - your heart swells - and he takes this as his cue to leave, slipping away and mumbling something about having to greet guests like a good host. It makes you all giggle, watching the boy with fond eyes.

Wanda abruptly turns to you, downing the champagne that she picks up off of the tray of one of the passing waiters.

“So Nat told me that you’re looking for a sugar daddy-”

“Shhh!” you hiss at her, clamping your hands tightly over her mouth because oh my god, Wanda, please speak louder. This makes Natasha laugh into her own glass of champagne.“Oh my god, why are you yelling?”

“Okay,” she drags it out and rolls her eyes, leaning into your group of three and whispering exaggeratedly. “So I heard you’re looking for a sugar daddy.”

“Sure, okay,” you whisper back, looking around before standing up straight because it’s just occurred to you how sketchy you all must look huddled in a circle like this. “So like… how does this work? Do we just… go up to them? Is there like some kind of code-?”

Wanda snorts loudly, throwing her head back and laughing. Your face slips into a pout and you cross your arms over your chest.

“No, idiot,” Wanda replies, pulling a tube of lipstick and a mirror out of her clutch. She starts to apply it while speaking to you. “They’re here already, and we’ve just gotta go up to them,” she smacks her lips together with finality, “and tell them we’re interested. Or, more like you’re going up to them and we’re here for moral support.”

“What happened to your guy, Wanda?” Nat asks, signaling to the bartender for a refill.

“And how did you get into it?” you ask her, one eyebrow quirking.

She smiles conspiratorially and runs her hands carefully through her hair. “There’s an app. And Viz and I are still together-”

“Viz? ” you almost choke on your own spit because you laugh so hard. Natasha joins you in a far more respectful way, her shoulders shaking as she picks up her now-full glass. Getting literal daggers thrown at your face would’ve been less piercing than the look that Wanda’s giving you right now, so you decide to shut your mouth and listen.

“Yes,” she says your name condescendingly, which makes you roll your eyes. “His name is Vision - it’s a long, personal story that I won’t share with either of you because you both fucking suck,” she stares the two of you down, “but that’s his nickname and what everyone calls him. It’s kinda cool, you know: super contemporary. Like Madonna or Beyoncé or Cher-”

“Okay,” Natasha licks her lips, putting one of her hands on her hip. “We get it, Wanda, thanks. But you told us that you guys broke up-?”

“Yeah, we just took a break,” Wanda shrugs. “Now, we’re back together and better than ever.”

You and Nat share a look before blinking back at Wanda, nodding your heads compliantly.

“So,” you rock back on your heels and start snapping your hair tie again. “Are we gonna go do this, or?”

Wanda’s eyes drift down to your wrist before she places a hand on top of it, stilling your actions. Your eyes are wide and glossy, your teeth worrying your lip.

“What’re you nervous about?” Wanda begins quietly, rubbing circles into your skin with her thumb. “They’ll love you - they’re all super cool and really hot. I think that the only problem that you’ll have is that you’ll be spoilt for choice.”

Your laugh comes out watery but sincere nonetheless, so Wanda loops her arm through yours while Natasha grips your hand tightly.

“Maybe we should get you a drink-”

“No, Nat,” you inhale deeply. “I wanna be completely sober for this. After… after, yeah. I’m definitely gonna need a drink after.”

You all laugh while Wanda weaves you through swathes of socialites, stopping to say hello to some people. When you finally make your way all the way to the other end of the roof, you can see why you didn’t see them before. There is a set of stairs that lead down to what looks like a zen garden. Tall torches flame a collection of very comfortable-looking couches are placed around a stone firepit and on top of those couches are a group of some of the most handsome men that you’ve ever laid eyes on.

The first one to make eye contact with you is astoundingly attractive, so much so that you almost trip over your own feet. You know- you can just tell that he smells incredible. His mahogany skin shines in the light of the fire, and his full lips curve over a gap-toothed smile that he shoots your way; it immediately makes a smile of your own spread on your face. His beard is lined up to perfection and there’s a mischievous sparkle in his whiskey brown eyes. A little bit of his chest hair pokes out from underneath the top of his almost halfway-unbuttoned dress shirt and your mouth waters. You almost feel sorry for the slacks that are hugging his thighs sinfully tight because his powerful legs look like they’re about to burst through the seams.

You decide that you’ve never wanted to be a pair of pants so badly in your life.

Jesus Christ. These men aren’t even close to what I expected.

All you can say is that you’re glad to see that the same caliber of attractiveness holds up for the rest of them.

The man next to him has longer brunette hair that hits his shoulders and you just want to run your hands through the silky strands. He has a bit more of a rugged look, his facial hair groomed purposely to give off that energy. He’s wearing a tight, long-sleeve black shirt and black slacks too, the monochrome outfit highlighting every inch of his well-toned body. When you look at him, he’s staring down into his glass, the sweetest smile on his face that makes you bite the inside of your cheek. But then he looks up at you, and you’re taken aback by the vibrance of his steel-blue eyes. It stops your breath momentarily, and you have time to regain it when he taps the man next to him on the knee and points towards the three of you.

The man in question raises his head, face shielded partially by a pair of yellow-tinted glasses. His blonde hair is slicked back away from his face, and you take a second to admire his prominent bone structure. But he’s looking right past you, eyes boring holes into Wanda which makes you stop your ogling.

You assume that this must be Vision.

There’s one of the men who isn’t facing you and doesn’t even turn around to do so, but you can make out his extremely broad shoulders clad in a white t-shirt even from where you stand a distance away. Even the back of his head is attractive, his thick neck and pushed-back blonde hair. Wanda tugs on your arm impatiently, evidently eager to reach her man.

The three of you linked together almost fall down the stairs before you regain your collective composures and strut over there with all the confidence that you don’t feel. Wanda lets you and Nat go when you draw closer, fixing her hair before the brightest grin that you’ve ever seen on her face shines at Vision. He opens his arms to greet her and you have to look away because of the very much x-rated kiss that she plants on him: you feel like you’re intruding on something.

“Jesus,” Nat snorts in your ear, her hand still resting in yours. This makes you giggle, high-pitched and nervously, so Nat squeezes your hand before she pulls you forwards.

Wanda has situated herself in the lap of her man, his hand resting gently on her hip. She clears her throat, cheeks red from her public display of affection, and begins to speak.

“Hi, guys,” she says, waving and smiling at all the men politely. They all greet her back warmly, raising their hands too. “These are my best friends. This is Nat,” she gestures to the girl next to you and Nat just nods her head in acknowledgment.

“And this is the friend I told you about,” Wanda introduces you by name to the four men who she points at in turn: “Bunny, this is Sam Wilson, Bucky Barnes, Vision, and Steve Rogers.”

Giving a little awkward wave of your hand, you unglue your eyes from the floor and scan all of the men up close now.

They’re all so much prettier up close.

From this distance, you can now clearly see how pretty Sam’s eyes are, how bright Bucky’s smile is, how strong Vision’s jaw is, and-

Holy shit.

It’s obvious that you must’ve died and gone to heaven some time in these past few minutes because Adonis’ blue eyes are scorching holes into your face. His high-neck white long sleeve sweater is probably in his size but the way that his muscles flex under the material is telling you otherwise. The size of his biceps - probably as big as your head - briefly make you wonder what they would feel like wrapped around your neck-

If you stare hard enough at his pecs - which you are - you can see the hard peaks of his nipples; you decide that there’s something so sensual about that and if that alone didn’t just make you wet, you decide that you can’t be human. The sweater is tucked into grey checkered pants with a black Yves Saint Laurent belt wrapped around his surprisingly narrow waist. He’s leaning back in his seat with his huge hands on his thighs, his strong legs spread wide almost an invitation for you to crawl between them. Your eyes move past his clearly tailored pants to his huge feet clad in black Versace loafers and you can feel the liquid that pools in your cunt. Realizing that you’re shamelessly checking this poor man out, your eyes snap up to his face only to have the breath completely knocked out of you, not for the first time tonight.

Not only is his body complete perfection, but his face is also arguably even better. His defined jawline gives you the urge to run your tongue over it but that beard. Your squeeze your thighs together because you want to know how it feels between your thighs. His ears are perfectly proportional to his head - a characteristic that should never be underestimated, mind you - and his cheekbones are high. But you can’t ignore the fullness nor the rosy pigmentation of his lips - his lower lip is fuller than the top and you wanna bite it so bad and he’s smirking a little. When you finally lock eyes with him, you feel as if you’re drowning but admittedly even if you were, you wouldn’t mind doing so in the blue of his irises. They darken slightly when they train onto yours, and one of his perfect eyebrows lifts questioningly.

This whole interaction has only lasted about five seconds but it feels like you’re in a movie, everything moving in slow motion. He stands up abruptly and you do actually choke at his size, his sheer height and width alone soaking your panties. One hand in his pocket, he takes slow, measured steps until he stands directly in front of you, not even sparing a glance at Natasha.

“Bunny, huh?” you pray that your knees won’t give out at his deep baritone and you can’t take your eyes away from his, even when he sticks out his hand. “Nice to meet you. Steve Rogers.”

tagged: @literaturefeen​ @donutloverxo​ @evnscvll​ @stargazingfangirl18​

[kkaebsongtypo]

01 | m.l | next

why wont you love me // hrj [02]

pairing: renjun x reader

genre: friends to lovers, slow burn, fluff, slight angst

wanings/notes: alcohol consumption (all parties are of legal age, drink responsibly!), mentions/symptoms of anxiety, mentions/signs of abandonment issues, jealousy, inspired by the song Why Won't You Love Me by 5sos

(warnings/notes are subject to change and updates if needed.)

word count: 2.1k

Renjun and y/n are an inseparable pair; they know each other like the back of their own hands. For the most part. Renjun keeps his true feelings hidden; y/n refuses to acknowledge their own. Both hold the fear of losing each other. But will one night out and a little too much to drink change everything?

a/n: hello part two is f i n a l l y here- sorry for the super long wait ;-; lmk if you want to be in a taglist ^-^

A week without Renjun and the boys proved to be a lot more difficult than you expected. On any other day, a normal day, you would have Renjun or Jisung on video call to keep you company whilst doing your work, cleaning the house, or just any other task. On any other day, you’d have a few of the boys lounging around your apartment, studying, doing project work, playing video games, spending their time in the comfort of your tidy home if they needed to get away from their own. Most of the time, it didn’t even feel like you lived alone.

Needless to say, with your main group of friends away on their trip, you were bored. With the boys doing their own trip activities, it was hard to get a normal, lengthy video call in. Procrastination was one of your biggest enemies in the deafening silence of your empty apartment. Without the company of your friends occupying your phone, and your current lack of self control, you were sprawled out on your bed scrolling through Instagram, your essay long forgotten.

You sat up abruptly when you opened Renjun’s story and were greeted with a photo of him and a shorter girl wrapped in his arms. Your chest tightened and at their bright smiles. You chewed on your bottom lip as you stared at the photo, the strange sensation in your chest growing. After a few seconds, you decided to close the app, the feeling (which, you concluded to be anxiety) building inside of you became overwhelming very quickly. You placed your phone face down on your bed and slowly laid back against the covers. You stared blankly at your ceiling and drummed your fingers on your bedsheets and chest.

A ding sounded from your phone and your hand flew to grab it. You hesitated to look at the screen though, unsure if you were hoping it was from Renjun or not. Ten seconds passed, and after a deep breath, you look at the message. A sigh fell from your lips when you read the contact name. It was from Jisung. You couldn’t tell if you were relieved or disappointed that it wasn’t Renjun as the anxiety in your chest continued to swirl.

bby chick <3: Are you busy rn bby chick <3: Can u vc bby chick <3: I miss you :(

You felt a pang of guilt for feeling slightly disappointed as you read the younger boys messages. You truly did miss him as well. The situation prior to his messages simply threw you off and into a frenzy of other feelings. Your fingers typed a response quickly.

: I miss you too :( : and no I am not busy, call me <3

It took no longer than 5 seconds for a video call from Jisung to pop up. After a deep breath to push down the previous discomfort within you, you put on a small smile and answered the call. The sight of Jisung’s face lighting up instantly when you appeared on his screen made your smile become more real, the photo of Renjun and that girl being pushed aside for the time being.

“Hii y/n!!” Jisungs voice was lively and excited. The setting sun shone a warm glow on him and the hotel wall. He waved to you, and you waved back.

“Hey Sunggie, how are you doing?” You asked. He didn’t hesitate to respond.

“I’m good, the guys and I miss you tons though! How are you?” Your chest tightened when he returned the question. It always broke your facade at times like this.

“I’m- I’m uh… yeah, I’m good.” Your feeble attempt at seeming okay was unconvincing as hot tears rolled down your cheeks with each blink. The uncomfortable feeling in your chest returned and your breathing quickened. Though your vision was blurred, you noticed Jisung’s expression fall into one of shock and panic.

“Wha- what’s wrong? Are you okay? Why are you crying?” He stuttered, reaching towards the camera as if trying to reach directly to you. You wiped your cheeks frantically with your sleeves and sniffled, a pathetic laugh falling from your lips.

“Yeah, I’m fine! Nothing is wrong, Ji, don’t worry-” Jisung cut you off gently. Tears continued to fall from your eyes involuntarily.

“Y/n… please don’t lie to me… you’re clearly not fine…” Your chest tightened more at the sadness in his voice. He didn’t like seeing you upset, it made him sad seeing his friend in distress. You tried to dry your tears again, but it was no use. With a quiet sigh of frustration, you ran your hand through your hair. There was no use in trying to lie again, your feelings were impossible to hide at this point.

“I- ugh. Yeah, you’re right. I’m not really okay- I’m sorry.” You looked down at your lap, fiddling with your fingers. Jisung furrowed his eyebrows at your apology.

“No!! Don’t be sorry!” He exclaimed. You glanced up at him and slouched further into yourself. Silence filled both of your rooms. You didn’t know what to say. You were embarrassed; your fear of being abandoned was consuming every bit of you with each passing second the longer you stayed in your head. Abandonment issues weren’t something you’ve ever talked about with any of your friends, there was never a reason to. Not until you saw that photo of Renjun.

The silence stayed for what felt like an eternity of being stuck in your own thoughts on a loop. No matter how many times you tried to tell yourself that Renjun would never just drop you out of the blue, the anxiety just pushed back. Part of you says “he wouldn’t.” but the other part of you fights back with “but he could.” It was a never ending loop; spiraling into yourself with no end in sight. Jisung snapped you out of your thoughts with a question that caused your cheeks to burn with anxiety.

“Do you want to talk about it?” You chewed on your bottom lip and tried to sort your thoughts before speaking. Tears began forming in the corners of your eyes again and they fell down your still damp cheeks when you blinked.

“It’s- ahh. It’s just- that photo of Renjun and that girl. It’s like, stupid but I think it was just anxiety saying like ‘oh Renjun found someone new he doesn’t love me anymore’ kind of-” The string of words fell from you lips quickly and in a mess, your insecurities growing and getting the best of you. Your voice cracked and you sniffled before taking a shaky breath and rubbing your eyes, giving Jisung the opportunity to speak. He was hesitant at first, his voice wavering slightly; he wasn’t exactly sure what to do.

“Hey- um- breathe for a second. Can you, uhm, can you show me the photo?” You nodded and picked up your phone to open Instagram. A feeling of dread grew in your chest and stomach as your finger hovered over Renjun’s story. With a deep sigh, you opened the story, the photo popping up on your screen. You stared at Renjun’s smile for a second before tapping on the small paper airplane icon and sending it to Jisung. You waited quietly as Jisung opened Instagram to see the image. You laid on your back and positioned your phone next to you so the boy could still see you when he returned to the call.

While you were swimming in your own variety of conclusions, Jisung stared at the photo you had just sent, unsure of his next words. He ran his hands over his face and through his hair, knowing that he could potentially make you feel even worse in one way or another.

“Y/n- oh my goodness. Okay- that’s not- that’s like Renjun’s second cousin. We just met her today!” You stared at your ceiling as Jisung returned to the video call.

“I… are you serious? Oh my gosh.” You groaned, tears beginning to fall faster again. Jisung frowned and furrowed his eyebrows, still hating to see you so upset.

“Yeah! Please don’t cry.” Jisung tried to comfort you as best as he could through a tiny screen. You sniffled and whipped the tears from your face, only for more to fall. He sighed softly, feeling slightly helpless.

“Look, even if that wasn’t his relative, I can assure you that all of us love you and we would never just up and leave you for anyone else. Renjun especially. y/n he…” He paused for a second, trying to pick his words cautiously to avoid exposing any secrets that weren’t his.

“You’re his best friend. He, of all people, would never, ever do that to you.” Your tears began to slow as you listened to Jisung, taking in everything he said. The external rationalization was reassuring, but the ache from the idea of losing Renjun continued to loom deep in your chest.

“I know that your anxiety clouds your judgement sometimes but if I can do anything to help at any time, please let me know.” He paused for a second, quickly realizing that you were keeping quiet.

“But if you can’t talk to me for whatever reason, try to remember what I just said.” You sighed softly. Jisung was really trying, and even though your thoughts continued to run wild, you were grateful for his efforts.

“Thank you, Ji. I really appreciate it. I’m sorry for all that; it was just a huge scare about my best friend leaving me over what turned out to be nothing.” You rolled your eyes at yourself. You jumped to conclusions and got upset over a misunderstanding; you felt foolish. Jisung perked up and was quick to validate your feelings.

“Oh! No, please don’t feel like you need to say sorry for feeling.” He frowned at you and played with his fingers. You pursed your lips and looked down at your lap. Silence lingered for a couple seconds before Jisung spoke up again.

“Um, okay. I’m sorry of this is a dumb question, but like- are you sure that was the only reason for your reaction..?” The question made you tilt your head and bring your eyebrows together in slight confusion.

“Uh? Yes? What do you mean?” Jisung turned away and scratched the back of his neck.

“Ah like, I dunno. The use of best friend- I mean like, are you sure you aren’t like, jealous?” Jisung turned his head down slightly, looking up at you with a careful gaze, nibbling the inside of his lip. Your eyes widened and you blinked a few times. Your lips parted to speak and you raised your eyebrows, but the words got caught in your throat. Why is this so hard to answer? You furrowed your brows for a second, regaining your composure enough to form some sort of coherent sentence.

“Oh- well I mean I guess maybe?? But no. What?? He’s my best friend and he’ll always be my best friend.” You tripped over your words as they came out in a mess. Your heart sped up and your cheeks warmed slightly. What is happening?? Jisung furrowed his eyebrows and tugged at his fingers as words began falling from his lips.

“Right- I’m sorry-” He started to panic, but you cut him off softly before he could ramble an apology.

“It’s fine Jisung, don’t worry about it.” You sent him a small, half smile. He chewed on his bottom lip and averted his gaze. Without letting the guilt-filled silence linger, you sighed and clapped your hands together.

“Enough about this stuff. Tell me more about the trip, what have you been up to?” You smiled softly. Jisung looked at you hesitantly and you nodded; an attempt at reassuring him. He took a second and raised his eyebrows before breaking into a smile.

“Well, the day after we arrived we just sort of slept in, but in the afternoon we went into the city...” You smiled as enthusiasm filled his eyes again, but his voice became mere background noise as you got lost in your thoughts once more. Jisung’s previous question coming back and lingering in your mind; “are you sure that was the only reason for your reaction?”

Renjun is my best friend. I don’t want anything more.

You did your best to shake it from consuming you, wanting to focus on Jisung instead. But the tiniest voice in the back of your mind repeated in a loop, Renjun is my best friend. I don’t want anything more. Right?

Taglist: @lolibaaae @currentlyraisinghell

a/n: let me know if you want to be part of a tag list ^-^

disclaimer: updates will be stagnant. thank you for understanding :)

[sasa-gay-yo]

Just Us (Chapter Ten: Request)

← Chapter Nine 

“We only have a bag of flour to give you this time.” He handed me a bag smaller than any ones they had before. I knew this might be the last time they would give me anything for my bread, so I took it without any word, but not without a nasty look. The cloth tied around my mouth hid my frown from him as I looked down at the small bag that even had a hole in it. This wasn’t going to make more than twenty loaves and I knew I was quickly running out of my own supply. I had tried to use my extra money to stock up as harvest came, but the price of wheat flour was so ridiculous, only the government could afford it. They bought most of the stock themselves and were hiding it. This small bag of flour was probably scooped out of a big box as they laughed in tricking me. 

I walked out the doors of the stock yard, pausing as the soldiers carried out another covered body on the stretcher. I wondered if I could recognize the person if they showed me their face. I had started giving the people my own names and using the interactions I had with them to guess their positions in Shiganshina. Some refugees were nice and would have a conversation with me while I ate my allotted rations on the edge of the stage they set up. It was a precaution so the refugees couldn’t run and push over the food stand like they had done a few months previous. It happened on my day off, so I wasn’t there to see it happen, but the next day, a stage had already been built with stairs that forced them into single file lines. If they pushed each other, the Garrison now had an above view to punish and hit those who forced themselves in line. 

I had conversations with some children and taught them a hand game from my youth to pass the time. Some of their parents would talk to me too, if they were young, and ask about the situation outside of the stockyard. Since violence had increased outside the barracks, they easily found a scapegoat and restricted the refugees to only the stockyard. It had no effect on the violence, but it seems the citizens of Trost found comfort in having someone to blame for the slow downfall of humanity. 

The trio never talked to me. Their grandfather always greeted me with a smile in line and I would give him the four loaves of bread for the children. The boy, Eren Jaeger, would get into fights with the guards more and more, but he would always be pushed to the ground or saved by the girl. It reminded me so much of myself. Was he getting beat up because it was something to do? Maybe it was the only thing that would make him feel something throughout the day. I desperately wanted to approach them and talk to them, but I never was able too. As soon as I would spot them, they’d disappear to some place in the stockyard and the smaller children would crowd around me to play the “clapping game” as they called it. 

Everyday I walked home alone, knife gripped in my pocket, I thought of what I would say to Eren Jaeger if he ever was thrown on my doorstep. He probably wouldn’t care for the pity of an older woman who had no relation to him. He also probably wouldn’t care about my time in the Underground and how I thought he acted like I did. I had made a game plan and everyday would go over it and tweak some parts. I’d have the trio help me make bread, talking to them about anything. Slowly, I’d tell them I was an orphan and maybe find some relation with them. The only adult figure around them seemed to be the grandfather and that made me wary because of the situation they came from. Their parents were no doubt killed by titans. 

I took the cloth off of my mouth as I got far enough away from the stockyard and took a deep breath of the slowly freezing air. It was going to get cold again, but the farmers had predicted a nicer winter than last year. We’d be lucky to get any snow this time, but it was better because they could chance growing more late winter crops. I decided that for the end of the year, I might as well open my shop and keep the tradition of year-end and winter pastries, hoping people would buy even without the fresh fruit. Another motivation is that some of my supplies were going to go bad and I didn’t want to lose more money than I had already. People like something sweet when they’re going through a bad time, so I’d hope they’d want my sweets. 

“Eva! Eva! Eva!” I looked up and saw Elias running towards me, paper in hand. He had a growth spurt over the summer and fall months, and now he was almost to my chin. His hair was also much too long, but he wouldn’t let me cut it because apparently the other boys at school also had hair like his. During summer and current late fall, I had taken them in pretty much everyday, commissioning them to make bread with me and giving them a few slices. Since Wall Maria had fallen, their parents had gone a bit crazy and so had a lot of other people in Trost. The Order of the Walls had grown into a huge following and not just a tiny cult anymore. They were going to build a church soon in the city square and the kid’s father was too busy with that to care for the proper needs of his children. I mended their clothes, helped them with homework, and even let them sleep on my couch when they got a little too full after dinner. Their parents didn’t even notice their absence when I brought them back home. 

“Yes, Elias?” He pushed a piece of paper into my hands and I saw the hundred percent he had gotten on the spelling test we had worked on together. I was awful at spelling, but I knew enough to help him. We would use flour, spread out on the table, to practice spelling words. This past list was increasingly difficult and I had to even look at it again a few times. 

“I got a perfect score on the spelling test!” his smile beamed up at me and made me stop thinking about the year-end and the refugees for a few seconds. 

“I’m proud of you Elias. You practiced hard for this.” He started following me back to the café and I knew he probably would want to come in and do his homework on Levi’s table. It was funny that Elias had such an unconscious affinity for him. His favorite toy was still the horse, he would sit at his table and do homework, and he started drinking tea because I refused him coffee. When Elias sat at the table doing his homework, it helped to fill the void that was left. 

Levi hadn’t returned in four months, almost five this coming Monday. The only thing I had was the button down and two letters he had sent before his work consumed him. I was waiting on a reply from a letter I had sent maybe three months ago. I knew that he was still alive and right outside of Trost, but only cadets would come in and out for refugee security. Everyday, I would hear them open the gates a six and I would open the window of my apartment, hoping to see him on his horse. I’ve probably watched the Scout cadets come into Trost so much, they must know my face by now. 

I missed him. 

Elias grabbed my hand unconsciously as we walked and broke me out of my thoughts for a second time. It seemed that there were three reasons I woke up everyday. The refugees, the kids, and the Scouts. It’s good that I had things to live for now. 

“Can I do my schoolwork in your café, Eva? There’s a lot of people over at Daddy’s house today and June’s at the bookstore.” June had recently got an apprenticeship at the book binder’s shop as he had no sons to pass it down to. I had given him the recommendation and once he saw the knowledge June had about books, he accepted her in. She was mostly selling books to people, proving her worth to the book binder, before she got to learn the secrets. Sometimes she would bring back broken books he had given her and think of the ways she would fix it. I was surprised at how close she actually was in her guesses. However, her new job had left Elias to fend for himself and grow up now without his sister at his side. He would play with friends, but once they had to go home, he was by himself. I was happy to indulge him in anything he wanted to do since I was alone too. We’d be lonely together. 

“Of course, Elias. We can go pick up June when she’s finished too.” That was good enough for him and he ran ahead, turning right out of the alleyway to get to the door of the café. I wonder who would fill my days once Elias was old enough to gain an apprenticeship. Jonas would be off somewhere delivering, the kids would be gone, and Levi would be on some expedition. Maybe I’ll get a cat.

“E-Eva?” I turned the corner and stopped walking to survey the scene. My stomach instantly dropped and I felt like I wanted to throw up. Why were these two here? Elias looked up and the tall, blonde man, instantly recognizing him. Their faces didn’t seem distressed and they were just leaning against the wall of the café, horses tied to the wooden posts. He can’t be gone, I would have felt it.

“Miss Evylnn Flynn?” He was the first to speak up and Hange kicked herself off the wall, wagging her finger at me. 

“I knew you were lying to me! Both of you!” They weren’t sad or upset. He had to be fine, but why were they here and not him? I can’t say I wasn’t disappointed to not see him behind Erwin’s shadow.

“Miss Flynn, we would like to have a word with you in private?” Erwin gestured to the door of the café and I swallowed hard. Was I in trouble? Why is the Commander here to talk to me in private? 

“Elias, you can go up to my apartment and do your school work on my desk. I’ll come up and get you when I’m done talking to the Commander.” Elias looked back at me, his eyes whimsical. He was pretty much meeting his hero and I was pushing him away from it. Erwin looked down at the boy and smiled. To pay him for listening, I’d ask Erwin to talk to Elias. If he had time to come and talk to me personally, he could spend five more minutes to entertain Elias.

“Can you do that for us, Elias? I promise it won’t take too long.” He nodded rapidly and Erwin reached down to fluff his hair. As soon as he was done, Elias ran up the stairs to my apartment, shutting the door with a slam. I’d have yelled at him if I wasn’t in this situation. My heart was speeding up and, if they could, my palms would be sweating. 

“Miss Flynn?” Erwin turned and gestured to the café door again. I nodded once and walked over, unlocking the door and leading them both in. What could they want? My mind was running through a hundred scenarios. Most of them ended with something happening to Levi. The other popular answer was that I was somehow in trouble. 

Once the door closed behind me, I got the nerve to turn around and smile at them. Hange’s presence made me slightly more comfortable, but this was the first time I had met Erwin. His energy was completely overwhelming and even if he looked nice, you could tell the amount of power he had. It was like the positive version of Levi. 

“Can I get you two anything to drink?” I whipped my hands on my jacket, looking to the floor. 

“Do you have any juice? I’m so thirsty, I barely had time for lunch!” I smiled a bit at Hange and walked over to the icebox I had. The only consumers of the juice were Elias and June, so it was nice to give it to someone else. 

“C-Commander?” I asked, silently cursing at my stutter. How was he more intimidating to me than Levi had ever been? He smiled at me and nodded before sitting down at the center table. I picked out another glass bottle and took one for myself. Hopefully they liked orange.

They both were just staring at me, waiting for me to come and join them. I handed them the juice and paused for a few seconds before sitting down. They both seemed so relaxed and I was exactly the opposite. My hands were fidgeting under the table and I dare not look at Erwin. Levi would probably yell at me for how shy and weak I seemed to them. Hange even downed her juice and let out a big ‘ah’ as she slammed it down on the table while we sat there. Only then, I realized the thin film of dust on the table. If Levi found out I sat his Commander on a dirty table, it would be over for me.

“Miss Flynn-”

“Eva. You can call me Eva. If we’re going to be seeing each other multiple times, it’s better to be one first name basis.” He smiled a bit, probably to calm me down, and continued. 

“Well, Eva… I don’t know how to begin this conversation, but I believe I can start by asking you what your relationship with Captain Levi is?” I blinked and looked at Hange. She was leaning forward, smiling at me, expectant at my answer. Had they found out? Was there a reason Levi might have told them about us? What if there’s only suspicion and I’m the one who outs us because I wasn’t careful? Was Erwin trying to intimidate me off of a hunch Hange had? 

“Why are you asking?” I wasn’t going to give them a straight answer. Erwin smiled a bit, a genuine one this time, and put one hand up.

“We have no ill will with the conversation. Both Hange and I are just curious about the situation our Captain may be in. The way you answer, however, might lead to some concerns.” Well, that makes me not want to answer your question, Commander. I took a sip of my juice before sitting up straight again. If we were to have this conversation, it would have to seem like I was being truthful. My hands were still shaking as I sat them on my lap.

“What has the Captain said?” Hange almost jumped out of her chair.

“Barely anything! I’m aching to know how Levi is when he’s with you! Is he a cuddler? Does he know nothing about relationships?” My eyes widened at her answer and it made me believe that he had to have said something to them. But, why? Did they back him into a corner?

“I’m sorry to disappoint, but the Captain and I are only friends. I haven’t seen him in over four months since I closed my café.” Hange leaned back in her chair and laughed crazily. I was starting to see what Levi meant. 

“I appreciate the loyalty you have to Levi’s and your private life, however, he has already informed us of you two’s relationship. We are only finding time now to come and visit, but we’ve known for a month.” I choked on my juice at Erwin’s words and wiped my mouth, swallowing hard. 

“He… did?” It was squeak and that got Hange laughing even more. So, how did they know if they were being truthful? Erwin nodded and handed me a handkerchief from his coat pocket. I thanked him and wiped the leftover juice off my hands.

“He believed it best that, as the Commander, that I know about your existence for various reasons. Hange also happened to be in the room because she is the only person who has officially met you and vogue for your personality. I had no idea about your visit to the Scout Headquarters until yesterday and that is a security risk.” I nodded and tried to calm down my racing heart. It was… interesting to finally have someone know about our relationship. Especially the Commander of the Scout’s. It was also concerning that the one who gossips the most in the Scouts also holds that information. Levi had told me how Hange revealed weekly who was having sex with who during boring meetings. 

“May I ask, what were his reasonings?” 

“As Commander of the Scout Regiment, I am the first line of defense for my soldiers. I pledge to protect them as best I can within our job description. This pledge of protection goes to their families and loved ones as well. I believe it to be Captain Levi’s intention that you are also under this hedge of protection concerning this period of political and societal unrest we are currently experiencing. He told us about a recent mishap you had with the refugees in Trost.” 

“Oh, yes, that makes sense.” He shifted in his chair and pulled out an envelope from his jacket. 

“Another reason is that I have personal services that deliver mail much faster than the average carrier and much more secretive as well. Currently, the Scout’s are being monitored for reasons I cannot reveal to you. He believes, and I concur, that if your existence is publicized to the government, you could be used as bait or a bargaining chip. Some in the government are not happy with Captain Levi’s placement and rank in the Scouts and the repercussions of his past come back to haunt him. If not now, sometime in the future.” I took the envelope off the table and recognized Levi’s wispy handwriting. A response to my letter. This made my heart sing with joy. He hadn’t forgotten to write back, but he was pushed in a difficult situation that didn’t allow him to. I shouldn’t have doubted him so much.

“Did the monitoring begin around three months ago?” He nodded and I noticed Hange was looking between be and the letter. She’s very curious about Levi’s private life, and I couldn’t blame her. I had been that interested in him as soon as he walked into my café. 

“There is information that the Scout’s have been given that can be perceived as a huge security threat if society gets wind of it. I also agree with the government’s judgement on that and am trying my best to limit security breaches in the Scouts.” That’s when the real reason they were here hit me. It wasn’t to deliver a letter and oogle at our relationship. I was a security threat to them. I was in trouble. My mind went back to the night Levi and I had before he left. Had he told them about that too? How much has he said?

“I see. That is why you came here today, I assume.” I looked him right in the eyes and he didn’t seem to have any anger in them. I remembered Levi and I’s conversation about Erwin. I wasn’t going to know at all what he was thinking until he specifically told me.

“I have known Levi enough to build trust with him. I trust him with information that is top secret and dangerous for society. If certain things get out, it could cause riots and more civil unrest as the expense of the Scouts. Levi has told me that you support the Scout’s endeavors the most out of any branch of the military. I hope that the support you have for us also translates into loyalty.” He didn’t blink, waiting for my response. 

“He hasn’t told me anything of that nature, Commander. The only thing he has told me is that he cannot morally support whatever the Scout’s are doing at the beginning of the coming year.” Hange seemed to let out a sigh of relief and I even saw Erwin sit back an inch. I understood why they might be on edge about that. They have no idea how Levi is when he is with someone like me and I am someone who frequents the refugee camps. 

“Yes, that seems to be a common theme among our officers. However, we do not have the power needed to fight back against orders directly from the government. I hope that once the plans reach the public ear, your support of the Scouts and Captain Levi doesn’t waiver. It would be a shame for the Captain to have a good thing leave him for something that he didn’t have a choice in.” I took another breath and noticed my heart was slowing down. I wasn’t going to be thrown in some dungeon and tortured for the information I don’t know. That made me feel better about this conversation. 

“Now, I must plainly state the requests we have for you. They shouldn’t be unreasonable, but I will say this is the first time we’ve had someone of Captain Levi’s rank be involved with a normal citizen. I think you can see why we have the need to be cautious and explain common Scout things to someone who isn’t in our place. You could be a security threat if you do not know proper protocol.” That was only slightly demeaning. 

“Yes, Commander. I do understand the need for me to know what I can and cannot do or say.” He smiled again and it amazed me the duality he had. He made you feel welcomed with his smile, and then completely intimidated with his status and demeanor. 

“As you are in a relationship with someone who is given classified information on a daily basis, it can be possible for it to easily slip out of Levi when he isn’t thinking. We ask you not to repeat anything you hear from Levi, even if you disagree with it. There may come a time when people you know are involved or put in danger by the operations of the Royal Government, therefore I’m asking you to bear some of the pain of a Scout officer in these situations.” 

“It seems you’re setting me up for the coming year, Commander… or at least you have a situation in mind currently.” Hange smirked and pointed at me. 

“You’re smart, Eva. I can see how you might last around Levi’s.” I wonder what they think Levi and I’s interactions are. They probably don’t think I’m the one who makes him suffer with my words more than he does me. Imagine if they knew how much I made their Captain blush. I smiled thinking about it. 

“The next request. As I extend my protection to you, I request you do the same to Levi and any Scout who is in need of assistance. Captain Levi was once a wanted man, and the government could easily turn their back on him if they deem it worthy of their agenda. There might come a time where you will have to shield or protect Levi or members of the Scout Regiment from the Royal Government. I’m best stating that, as someone in a relationship with the Captain, you may need to lie and commit treason for his or our safety. You are a part of the Scout Regiment now, and that is some of the responsibility that comes with it.” I sat there and thought that one over. It was a huge request, but not one that would easily deter me from Levi and the Scouts. I thought of the Garrison soldiers kicking down Eren Jaeger everyday, or Mitras not dispatching any MPs or food supplies to the districts struggling to stay alive. If I knew it was for the better, I could easily betray them. I owe nothing to the government.

“You don’t have to accept this right awa-” I shook my head and stopped him. 

“No, I can do that. The government has never done anything for me. I can easily betray them for a cause and people I believe in.” This made both of them smile instantly. 

“Levi was right, your loyalty and regard seems to be astounding, Eva. I believe he has found a fine woman to be with.” I looked down at my hands, trying to hide the blush with my hair. I don’t know why that compliment hit me the way it did, but people admiring our hidden relationship made me happy, I guess. Especially the Commander. It wouldn’t happen much more than this, so I should savor it.

“Am I able to make requests, Commander?” I looked up at him again when my blush subsided. 

“Erwin. You can call me Erwin, and I will try my best to accept them. If it is something I cannot do, I will have to refuse. Our positions of freedom are very different, Eva.” I nodded and took another sip of my juice. There has been something bothering me since Levi and I had talked about Erwin. 

“If you are asking me to put my life and reputation on the line for the Scouts and Levi, I must request that equally. I understand you cannot predict the outcome of expeditions, and I know we both know that Levi won’t die simply because of that. I’m specifically asking for you to protect him against the government.” He crossed his arms and I still couldn’t tell what he was thinking.

“I don’t think I know what you mean, Eva. You can’t be asking me to commit treason for one soldier? I am unable to do that.” I shook my head at him and formulated my next sentences. I also had a specific scenario in my mind. 

“If the government asks something of Levi that would lead to his certain death, no matter how it will help society, I want you to do everything you can to protect him from that fate. Refuse his service. Discharge him from the Scouts. Anything it takes. I know he’ll take it, no matter what they give him, but I want to be selfish for him. He’s too valuable to humanity to be lost in such a simple manner. ” 

“It seems you’re setting me up for something, Eva… or at least you have a situation in mind currently,” he mimicked my words and it made me smirk a bit. We could play the same game with each other. It felt nice to be able to be on the same level with him right now unlike the last few minutes. We were bartering back and forth. I was in my element. I could never match his strategy or intelligence, but I knew how to make a deal. 

“Secondly, give him more breaks. Every time I see him he’s tired and complaining about the amount of paperwork he has to do. I haven’t seen him in person in almost five months because of whatever you seem to be planning. At least a monthly break. You know how he gets when he’s overworked.” This made Hange laugh again and I noticed then how quiet she had been throughout Erwin’s requests. It made me think how intelligent she was as well. All the officers must be. She had her quirks, but she knew when to be serious.

“That… that is something I cannot promise you. I can try my hardest, but when we are as busy as we are now, I cannot let anyone slack off because their family requested it. You must see I have to be fair about it.” I frowned, not liking that answer, but I knew he wasn’t going to change that. I was being more selfish than I could be right now. I even had one more, morbid request to get through. This one was one that I had thought about over the last few months. What if. 

“Lastly, if Levi does die, I want you to tell me directly, Erwin,” I looked up, locking eyes with him to make sure he knew how important this request was, “I won’t believe any random cadet or Garrison soldier who comes to deliver the news and I won’t believe it if I don’t see him come back with the rest. I’ll make up excuses and scenarios. I want you to tell me personally that he’s finally gone and let me go get his things from the HQ. If it comes from you, I know it’s true. It doesn’t have to be in person, a letter would suffice, but I want it directly from you Erwin,” my eyes were pleading for him to accept, “Can you do that?” He looked back at me after thinking for a few moments. 

“Yes, I can do that, Eva. However, a letter can easily be copied and someone can steal my signature. If I do send you something… I’ll send it along with my bolo tie,” He pointed to the green orb on a cord around his neck,  “I can’t assure how quickly the news will come, but you will be the first civilian to know. This request, however, I have no anticipation of needing to do any of this.” I nodded, accepting that answer. We both had equal confidence in Levi’s ability.

“Thank you… Erwin.” I sat up and looked to Hange, waiting for her to say something. She had been leaning more and more forward as I talked through my requests. She wanted to say something, but wouldn’t interrupt her Commander for it. 

“Oh, it is my turn! I only have one request for you and then a ton of questions to ask you! Is that okay? I know you have the kid to take care of. By the way, son? Brother? Who is he?” I held my hands up and shook them ‘no’ when she said son. 

“He’s just a boy I watch because his parents don’t. I take care of him and feed him. He has an older sister, too.” 

“Ah,” Erwin nodded, “Captain Levi also told me you take kids off the street and give them a second chance. Is he one of those children?” I raised an eyebrow. 

“No, he has a home and family. What else has Levi told you about me?” I didn’t know we were just giving out information about each other to people. Hange answered my question again. 

“You own a café where he gets tea. It’s your past caretakers café. You were given it after he died. Uh, what did he say about your character? He said you’re fiercely loyal, which is definitely true, and that you’re very charitable, hence taking care of the kids. He didn’t say it all nicely like that, but I think you can guess how he said it.” 

“He said something to the effect of ‘She has this awful part of her where she puts all her faith in anyone and takes in brats to give them a second chance’, which, I understand why Levi sees that as a bad thing, but I find it nice to be charitable.” It made me laugh for the first time, Erwin trying to mimic Levi’s tone of voice.

“My request!” Hange hit the table, like she just remembered that she had one to give. I wonder how crazy this one was going to be. 

“I’ll try my best, Hange.” 

“My request is that you make him happy,” My heart skipped a little when she said that and she continued after she heard no protest, “We don’t know much about him or the way he thinks, but we do know what he’s been through. The expedition before he met you, his two friends from the Underground were eaten by titans when he wasn’t there to save them. He was getting so temperamental and would blow his lid at anyone just like that when we came back. No one could blame him, he had just lost his friends to titans and he found out that he didn’t even need to. There are a lot of details, but I’ll leave that to Levi. Anyways, we needed to get him out of HQ, so I recommended this café because I think your strawberry turnovers are excellent! After he came here, he started to change. Mellow out as much as Levi could. All the officers started wondering why he’d changed so rapidly and we thought he was sneaking out to go drink himself to death. Then, I saw you at the year-end festival with him. I knew then it was you, and think of the amazing confirmation he gave me when he kept requesting me to go get you after his injury!” I felt tears well up in my eyes for some reason. I remembered how he looked when he walked in: tired from death. I didn’t know it was the death of his friends that made him that way, and here I was trying to tease him over some tea. I was such an idiot. 

“I think you’ve made Captain Levi feel something he’s never felt before. He still acts the same towards us because he has to keep up this façade, but with you, I’m sure he’s completely different. Actually, he has gotten more relaxed around the cadets and makes them run a bit less. Slowly, your impact is breaking into his everyday life. So, my request is that you keep doing that. He’s a broken kid, but he’s found someone to heal him. That’s what he told us you do, isn’t it?” The way Hange was looking at me, I just wanted to cry then. I don’t think anyone’s ever said something like that to me. She’s putting me at such high regard for something that I so desperately want to do for others. It was a confirming moment telling me that I was doing something right. 

“I-I promise, Hange.” Her smile grew bigger and Erwin slowly stood up, signaling her it was time to go. I stood up too, but held my hand up to him.

“Yes?” 

“I have a last, small request for you, Erwin. That little boy, basically as Commander of the Scouts, you’re his hero. He’s starting to have this obsession with them ever since I got him this toy. If you could just talk to him for a bit and tell him about the Scouts? You know, minus the bad things?” He huffed once in laughter and agreed to do it. When I yelled to call Elias down stairs, he almost fell on his face when he tripped on the kitchen door. He looked up at Erwin expectantly. 

“Elias,” I put my hands on his shoulders, pushing him forward, “This is my friend Commander Erwin. He knows how much you like the Scouts and can tell you about it if you want…” I trailed off at the end, but Elias had already ran up to Erwin, looking up at the man three times his size. 

“How big is a titan?!” I smiled as the two blonde haired boys sat.

Hange came over to the counter where I was sitting and hopped up there with me. I didn’t mind and made room for her, staring at the interaction that was happening in front of us. Elias was even showing him the toy I had bought. 

“So… What does Levi think about the kids?” She so badly wanted to prod Levi’s brain and find out how he ticks, but she’d have to do it through me. Now that they knew everything, I’d guess I’d tell her a little bit. 

“Levi bought him that horse. Elias doesn’t know it, but Levi said he wanted an eight year old boy to have what he wanted at that age. He’s only talked to June once I think, but he helped her win over some boys in her class. I don’t think he could tolerate Elias’s questions as much as Erwin is doing right now though.” She nodded.

“When you two have kids of your own, I think he’ll like them a bit better than he does other people’s kids.” I choked on the air and coughed loud enough that both Erwin and Elias stopped their conversation and looked over at us. Hange just waved them off and patted my back. Kids? He hasn’t even kissed me yet. 

“Hange, we’ve only been together for a few months, and for most of them I haven’t even seen him.” She shrugged and gave me her crazy smile again. 

“I don’t know, you two seem pretty compatible. Now, I haven’t seen you interact, but from what I can tell, you like each other enough. I’ve never seen someone hang around Levi as long as you have. Mark my words, you’ll have cute kids. I want to help name one!” I gave her a crazy look, willing her to stop talking about the topic. Imagine if she mentioned it to Levi, how irate he would be with her. I can’t even talk about sleeping in the same bed with him. 

“Hange, we’re not-” Erwin stood up and patted Elias’s head again. Thank gods they were done. I don’t know if I could deal with any more of Hange’s future visions and questions. Is this how Levi feels with me?

“Hange, it’s time for us to get back. We have another meeting soon and Levi’s waiting to reprimand us for coming here when he said not to.” She puffed out air like she wanted to continue our conversation further, but hopped off the counter and walked to the door with Erwin. 

“It was good meeting you, Eva. I’m sure we will have many more of these in the future.” 

“Bye, Eva! Bye, Elias! Don’t worry, Eva, he’ll be home soon! Hold on a bit more!” Hange screamed as she walked out the door behind Erwin. I could still hear her gossiping as they got on their horses and rode off back to HQ. 

“Eva, why did they want to talk to you?” Elias broke the silence as I stared at the door. Home. He’ll be home. Was I home? 

“Elias, can you keep a secret? A super, super top secret that no one else can know?” His eyes widened and he nodded over and over again. 

“Yes, I can. I promise!” I smiled down at him and ruffled his hair a bit more. 

“Even Erwin doesn’t want you to tell this secret to anyone.” That got the boy more excited to know, and I knew it would keep his mouth shut. 

“I promise! Tell me, tell me, tell me!” If Levi had already told two people, I guess I could too. What’s the harm in telling an eight year old boy? 

“Captain Levi and I are together.” He pulled a weird face, sitting down at the table and pulling out his school work. His excitement immediately dropped away.

“That’s it? I thought it was going to be a fun secret, Eva.” This little boy is incredible. The first person I tell, and he could care less.

“You’re the only person in Trost who knows, Elias. It is a fun secret!” I tried to defend my relationship in front of the eight-year-old. I guess he was picky on which Scouts he liked. 

“Eva, can I have some juice please?” I gave him an annoyed look as he completely skipped over the subject. I should’ve told June first and not a little boy who still thinks girls have cooties. 

“No, you can have it after you finish your homework.” He groaned at my payback and shifted back and forth in his chair. I didn’t waiver and decided to ignore his pleas in favor of reading the letter I had been anticipating for months. 

His handwriting was so nice and I wondered even who taught him how to write so well in the first place. My handwriting was awful because the orphanage had a limited budget for pencils and teachers. I could barely read cursive and only used it to sign my name. When I told Levi this is a response to his first letter, he had laughed at me in his reply, but wrote it all in print for me. Even his print was perfect. It made me annoyed, but they were pretty to look at in addition to their contents. They weren’t love letters by any means, but they were nice to receive and imagine what he was doing. 

Dear Mara (This one doesn’t seem to fit your face, but it’s the only one I could think of), 

As you requested in your last letter, for some reason, my daily routine: 

4 AM - I am either up or wake up from an hour or two of sleep to take a shower. The water pressure is the best at this time as no one is taking one.

5 AM - I make myself tea, now, it’s the peppermint you sent me. I thank you for that, but now my tongue can’t stand any other flavor that’s not on par with it. I’ll light a candle and do some light paperwork and plan the morning workout for the cadets, waiting for the sun.

6 AM - The cadets have 30 minutes to get ready in full gear and come to eat breakfast until seven. I eat early, limiting the interactions I have with Hange as she’s loud in the morning. 

7:30 AM - Training starts with a morning run and workout. They might do hand-to-hand after or work on ODM. Whatever I feel like sitting and watching that day, I make them do. On the days when they’re getting really annoying, I’ll make them practice ground maneuvers since it’s hard to kill titans with no trees. Recently, we’ve been starting to go over formations for the mission I can’t tell you about. 

12 PM - We eat lunch, and recently it’s been bad. The food shortage has hurt our stock and I know the Garrison probably laughs at us as they get to eat meat. We ran out of meat last week.

From then on, the cadets have classroom work to do to memorize our signals and formations. I usually do more paperwork and we have officer meetings over and over again until dinner at six. After that, surprise, paperwork again. We went to the capital to get talked over again last week, so that was a break in my routine, but other than that I do paperwork until my eyes hurt, then I’ll go make more tea and take some biscuits from the canteen. Sometimes there are small disputes I have to settle, cadets to discipline, or one-on-one meetings with Erwin. Recently, he’s asked me if I want to create a Special Operations Team with the best Scouts for the next mission and beyond. I’ve been studying and reading over the files of each Scout. Maybe, you can help me form the team if I come across any trouble picking, but it’s not like there are many to choose from. 

I plan to tell Erwin about our relationship soon. During our meetings in the capital, my position is always questioned and threatened by the four heads of the Royal Government. If they find out about any weakness, not that you are weak now that I’ve trained you, they might use that against me. If I tell Erwin about you, he can give you certain protections. Other than him, I have no intention of telling anyone else and it hasn’t seemed to come up in regular conversation. Hange always has something off to the side to say about you, and I suspect she knows something, but she keeps quiet around others. If she doesn’t keep her mouth shut, you might not hear from her again. Perhaps I will tell my Special Ops Team since trust is needed for a team to work, but that won’t be for another few months or even a year.

You asked me if I needed anything and currently, I would like a bit more tea, if possible. I’m limiting myself to three cups a day since my tea leaves are dwindling. I’m struggling without you and your tea, but I know you can’t ship yourself here through the carrier system. I was right about the cuddling… I miss it and it does make it difficult to try and sleep, knowing a much more comfortable option exists. I won’t go on more because I don’t miss your teasing. Hopefully, I will see you in the next month's time, but right now, it seems the Royal Government is about to monitor us. Going back and forth to you might harm you, and I won’t risk that. It’s helped, this feeling of missing you, by the cadets used for refugee security. It’s been reported almost everyday that a light-brown haired woman, no older than 30 with light green eyes leans out a window about a café with a red lettered sign and stares at the Scouts coming in during the sunrise. I knew right away it was you. I hope you’re getting enough sleep and not being irresponsible with the amount of hours you work on the refugee’s bread. 

I must now go to another officer’s meeting in Erwin’s office to discuss something boring. I’d rather be helping you knead dough for a thousand loaves then sit in his office one more time. 

My questions for you: Has the Garrison brought those brats you said to sponsor over yet? Have you decided to open back up the café? Has the girl gotten her apprenticeship? Have you told Jonas that if he touches you one more time while I’m going, I will break his fingers? You said you might cut your hair, is this true? Have you yet? 

Till your next letter and next delivery of twenty grams of peppermint tea, 

Captain Levi

Chapter Eleven →

Chapter Masterlist

xx Everyone say thank you to MAPPA for Levi and Armin’s faces <3

[kurt-nightcrawler]

Eye love you

Warren Worthington III x Reader

A/N: this isn’t what I wrote cause I was not feeling great yesterday, this is older. I hope you enjoy it anyway! :)

Warnings: none

Word Count: 1.2k

 “I went to the eye doctor today,” You said into the phone. 

“Oh yeah! How’d it go?” Warren asked from the other line. 

You flopped onto your bed. “I’m getting new glasses…”

“Ooo… What do they look like?— Bobby! Get out of my room! I’m on the phone!” You rolled your eyes. “Sorry,” Warren apologized. 

“It’s fine.” You assured him. “They’re brown.” 

“That’s different, your old ones were black.” 

You shifted to lay on your side, “I don’t really like them… Like, I like them, but not that much. They were the best option I had though…” 

“That’s okay. You wear contacts most of the time anyway.”

“Yeah, but when I don’t…”

Warren frowned. He hated seeing or hearing, you upset. “You’re gonna look amazing. You always look good, no matter what… and besides, nothing can be worse than the glasses you had in fourth grade— they were blue and had flowers and were crooked—“

“Hey!” Warren laughed on the other line. “I should have never shown you my elementary school pictures!” 

“But you were so cute as a kid,” He pouted. You scoffed.

“You’re gonna look like… like…”

“You can’t think of any female celebrities with glasses. Can you?” 

Warren could feel your disappointment through the phone. It made him sad. 

“I didn’t fall in love with you cause you had 20/20 vision. Glasses or no glasses, you’re still gonna be you...” 

You didn’t respond. 

“Do they bring out your eyes at least?” He asked with a slight coquettish tone. 

“They bring out the brown in them…” Your eyes were hazel, but the favored heavily on the green side. 

Warren sighed, “Your eyes are so pretty.” 

“Yours are prettier.” His were green as well, but instead of having brown like yours, there was blue. 

“Not true.” 

“Yeah, it is.”

“Hmm… I don’t think so.” 

You rolled your eyes, smiling for the first time during the call, “I have to go. I’ll text you later, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I love you.” 

“I love you too.” 

-

Two weeks went by and your glasses finally came in. As time passed since you picked them out, you grew on the idea of them, but you weren’t in love. 

However, Warren was right, you weren’t going to be wearing them that much. 

A few days had passed since you got your new glasses. You hadn’t left your home all day. You stayed in your pajamas and got caught up on some housework. 

You took a break, checking your phone out of boredom when you got a text. 

 Warren 

hey baby

Warren

can I come over? I’m bored and the guys are busy :(

(Y/N) 

so I’m a second option, huh? *side-eyes emoji* 

Warren

no!! never!! I miss you anyways

(Y/N) 

it’s been two days… we went to the zoo Tuesday 

Warren

a whole 48 hours apart from you? ew *barfing emoji*

(Y/N)

you should just move in then

Warren

you should move in with me. no one pays rent in the mansion

(Y/N)

I’m not a mutant *clown emoji*

Warren

we can figure that out… 

Warren

anyway... 

Warren

I can bring madagascar 1 & 2 and chipotle

(Y/N)

ugh classics *moaning face emoji*

(Y/N)

can you get me a vanilla coke zero? *two pouting bug-eye emojis*

Warren

of course *red heart emoji* 

Warren

I’ll be over in an hour or so

(Y/N)

okay :)

-

Warren had a key to your place, so he let himself in. 

“Hey babe, I’m here! I also got the third movie from Kurt, and I think the penguins’ spin-off show is on Netflix.” 

You had set up the coffee table so you could eat on the couch without making too much of a mess. 

“Oh my god, it smells so good…” You subtly licked your lips. 

“Hello?... No hug for the delivery man?” Warren joked. 

“Big bird brain, come here.” You kissed his cheek and wrapped your arms around his torso. He set his belongings on the ground so he could reciprocate the hug. 

You picked the bag of food and movies up. Warren gasped a little. 

“What? What’s wrong?” You looked at him, extremely worried. 

“Your glasses! You didn’t tell me they came in.”

“Oh, uh… I just kind of forgot about it…” 

Warren kicked his shoes off and made his way over to the couch with you. “I wish you sent me a selfie. They look great!” 

You deflected the compliment. 

“You look like a sexy librarian—“ You gave Warren a sour look. “Okay, no—“

“I look like a girl who’s been in her pajamas all day and brushed her teeth at 2 pm today.” You said as you put the first movie in. 

Warren shrugged while he dug into his bowl, “Hey, I’ve done worse.” 

You chuckled, joining him on the couch. “of course you have. You’re a dude.”

“Hey!” 

“They hated Jesus cause he told the truth.” You stated, nonchalantly as you started eating. 

“Babe.”

You looked over at Warren, sipping on your soda, “Hmm?” 

“They look really nice. You look great.”

“Thanks…”

“How do you like them?” 

“Better than I did two weeks ago…” You sheepishly admitted. 

“That’s a huge improvement!” 

“Yeah, I guess so.” 

“Hey— I’m gonna prove to you, that you look good in your new glasses. Even if it takes years.”

“Ren, stop it. I was being silly, they’re fine, honestly—“

“No. It upset you. I don’t want you to be insecure about something you can’t control. Something that you need. Babe, you had a panic attack the first time you tried putting in contacts.”

You frowned and stabbed your salad with your fork to try and distract yourself. “I was twelve.” 

“Yeah, but when you told me and just how you didn’t want to be seen as some silly little nerd girl, it made me so sad.”

“I got bullied as a kid. And it wasn’t even the glasses really, I just wanted to fit in and I thought no glasses would help. I didn’t get contacts until high school…” 

“I know… and that’s not fair, you know, trying to hide to fit in with people that really won’t matter in your future…”

You knew he wasn’t just talking about your glasses anymore. He was referencing the scars on his back. The ones he caused as a child, cutting his wings off almost six times a week until his parents caught him and told him to stop. 

“I don’t want you to suffer. That’s all. You’re one of the best people in the world, and I hate seeing you upset.” 

“Yeah, yeah. I’m sorry…” 

“Don’t apologize. You don’t need to apologize.”

“Sorry—“

Warren kissed your cheek. “It’s okay… Ope.” 

“What?”

He rubbed his finger on your face, “I got some avocado on your cheek. Sorry.” 

“You’re good.” 

Warren smiled. “I love you.” 

He was very casual with it, but somehow managed to never lose any meaning every time he said ‘I love you.’

“I love you too.” 

“Cna I try on your glasses later?”

“No way! You might break them with your big head, plus they’ll make your vision worse over time.” 

“I! I have a big head so I can think about you more!”

You laughed, “War, that didn’t even make any sense…”

“It… wasn’t… supposed too…”

“Mmhmm, alright baby. I’m gonna tell Kurt and Scott you said that next time I see them.”

“Fine, but I have something they don’t.” 

You blinked. “Scott’s dating Jean, and Kurt goes on tinder dates like twice a week…”

“You’re better than Jean.”

“Better not let Jean hear you say that,” You joked. 

“She already knows.” 

“That so?”

“Yep.” 

“Well…” You kissed his cheek, catching him off guard, causing him to blush and get flustered. “Thank you.”

“Yeah, yeah… Of course.”

“Love you.”

“Love you too, babe.” 

[mrsmaybankhere]

bury a love

i wanted this to be a very short one, but this is a serious topic and i really wanna get it down and be happy with it.

the idea of this fic it was that girls can also be the toxic ones in relationships. we are used to see fics with the man (JJ in this case) being the toxic one, but this has no gender at all. pleaseeee, understand that toxic doesn’t always mean getting beaten up!!!

and that friendships can also be veryy toxic!!!

anyway, hope you like it and lmk your true opinions on it!!

love youu the most xx

words: 2.3k

warnings: alcohol, drugs abuse, overdose, toxic behaviour, toxic relationship (if you are in one, please get out of it, you deserve better!!!)

***not my gif, credits to the owner of it!!!***

JJ knew that lately there was something wrong with you. Beside you dating Rafe's kook ass. You were still you, you were still his best friend [Y/N]. But in the same time you weren't.

You talked the same, you still made the same lame jokes. You still had a low tolerance to alcohol and you were still the cutest girl he ever met when you were drunk, making some adorable faces after throwing up for hours.

But JJ was the only one who noticed that you didn't smiled the same. You just did it with your mouth while your eyes remained empty and sad. He also noticed how you always wanted to get shitfaced. You wouldn't miss a opportunity to get wasted on alcohol. Always alcohol. Like you wanted to escape from something.

Or someone.

But he didn't do anything about it. He was still mad at you for dating Rafe and even if he knew that he acted childish and that he can't control you, he couldn't help himself. The girl of his dreams being in love with his enemy. Kissed and touched by him when JJ should be in his place.

He wanted to tell you about his feeling so many times before. He almost told you once.

And that one almost is tearing him apart now.

When Kie told them that you didn't answered her calls and texts all day, he cursed under his breath and said something like "she's probably too busy actin' like a kook" and he was sure that you will get at the Chateau later with that fake ass smile on your lips with a new gold bracelet. Or a new expensive custom surf board. But you didn't and you didn't answered to the phone. Until...

He was looking at your name again. He wated to see your name blowing up his phone all day long with texts and memes and funny photos of you.

He told myself that he will stop calling you. It's been hours so it was clearly that you didn't wanna talk to any of them.

But he pushed his luck.

And you picked up after just one second.

"[Y/N]?" He whispers and you finally answering left him a bit speechless. "Are you okay? Som-..."

He only heard a deep breath before you hang up the phone.

That's was when he decided to get over your ass and let you come around and now he realized how much he shouldn't.

They went fishing that day. They've been swimming, drinking beer and even catching some fish they will definitely have later for dinner. Kie and Pope got up from the boat, holding the empty bottles of beer while JJ and John B were right behind them, tying up the boat and getting the fish.

"Sarah? What happened? You told me you were busy, but-..." John B rushed to the backyard when he heard the name of his girlfriend. He was worried for her all afternoon.

"Are you okay, Sarah? Look at me. What's wrong?" John's hands are cupping her wet cheeks, but her crying is out of control and JJ's anxiety is getting at him in that moment. Right there he felt that something wasn't good and that it was about you. He felt a pain in his heart and the next few words proved him right.

"[Y/N] she is-...She's in the hospital. She had an overdose."

Overdose.

That night while holding your hand right next your hospital bed, he's still thinking about it. He...They didn't even know you've been doing cocaine. He never saw on you the same effects he saw on his father, but people are different towards it. He looked at the big bouquet of red roses placed on the nightstand next to your bed and he knew that Rafe was here.

And of course he was. You are his girlfriend after all. And you ending up almost dead is only his stupid fault. This is another almost that broke him into tears. Almost losing you before he even had you.

He kicked the flowers vase down with his fist, the glass cutting his knuckles, but it wasn't the first time anyway. But it was the first time when the pain in his heart is even bigger than usual, when he felt that he lost all the air from his lungs and that he can't bare looking at you anymore. He realized just now how much you hurt him over the past few months.

It was you who hurt him the most in the world.

Not his mother for leaving him.

Not his father for beating him for every shit.

No. It was you the one who really broke down his heart.

And later the next day when you finally woke up, they were there with you. Kie, Pope, John B, Sarah and of course JJ. Your parents were the firsts to hug you and you cried in their arms, looking more fragile than ever. You looked haggard and with very pale skin and big dark circles around you bloodshot eyes, JJ almost didn't recognized you. Drugs changed you. Rafe changed you.

Another almost that made him tear up right there in the same room with your friends and your parents.

After assuring them that you feeling alright and after drinking a lot of water, you finally actually looked at your friends. You still had tears in your beautiful, but empty eyes and when you locked yours with JJ's he couldn't bare it, so he quickly looked away. No one said anything, they all just sat there in front of your bed feeling awkwardly.

"I'm sorry...God I'm so sorry guys." You burst into tears again and Sarah and Kie are the first to come closer to you, grabbing your fragile body into a hug while the both of them are also crying.

"Why you didn't talked to us? Maybe we could have helped you."

"You didn't had to do through this alone." Sarah said while caressing your hair. She swore she will kill Rafe for doing this to you.

She wasn't alone, JJ thought but didn't said anything out loud.

"I tried to stop it. I tried to numb it with alcohol...To stop the cravings. But I guess-...I guess at some point I give up trying. I didn't wanted to stop anymore."

John B and Pope didn't know what to say, but they also had tears in their eyes while looking at you. It was a weird feeling to be happy that you come out of it alive.

"You still have us, okay? We will you get through this together."

"Yes. I did a lot of research and-..." Pope started talking a lot like he usually does and you smiled a bit. That smile warmed JJ up and he hated it. And then you looked at him while being hugged by the others, but not him.

"You hate me that much, JJ?" You ask with a lower raspy voice and you feel your whole head spinning around the room, but somehow you can see his disappointed face very easily. Your eyes are wet again, but you try your best to not let another tears out.

He didn't answered your question and he clearly avoided your glare. After another group hug without him the others let you two alone and he didn't said anything fro a while, so you were the one talking first.

"You can't even look at me?" You ask with a sad smile and you shift a little in the uncomfortable bed, a cannula in your right hand. JJ had a grin on his face, a mischievous one.

"I can't." He spat at you. "I can't because I don't even know you fucking are anymore. Because [Y/N] that I know...My [Y/N]...Would never do cocaine to please Rafe Cameron."

"What are you talking about?" You frown and you try your best to talk normal, but your bottom lip is shacking and you can feel tears in the corners of your eyes, blurring your vision of the angry blond in front of you. "It's not like that, J and-...And I'm still your [Y/N]. I realized too late that I need real help, but I'm still me."

"So you wanna tell me that Rafe didn't know about this shit? How fucking stupid do you think I am?" He's screaming in your face right now, not giving a fuck that you are in a hospital. He already fought the security once. "Don't lie to me. At least at the end of it, be fucking honest."

"The end of what?" You try to get up from the bed and you eventually do it after clenching your teeth to ignore the pain you feel in your whole body at every move. JJ felt the need to help you out when he saw you struggling, but he had enough control in himself to not touch you. You don't deserve him helping you after doing him so dirty, after breaking his heart. "I don't wanna lose you, J. I am in love with you. Not with Rafe. Not anyone else, ple-...Please."

He froze for a few seconds. You said these words like you really meant them. That was everything he wanted to hear in the past few months.

"It's too late, [Y/N]. You don't fucking get it?"

Your whole heart shattered into tiny pieces and you face fell at his words. What did you do?

"JJ, you can't do that. We are best friends, we've always been...Since third grade we've been always together. Me, you and John B. We were...We were always like this." You gulp down on your words, barely able to speak anymore with salty tears all over your face and falling on your lips too. "I didn't tell you...Because I didn't wanna ruined it."

"And that's exactly what you did." He whispered with a sad smile and tears in his beautiful icy blue eyes. When you looked into his eyes, you felt safe and loved and appreciated. But now they are your own hell, bringing back memories of you two being happy together everyday from dusk untill dawn. How can you live without him in your life? Him mad at you was better than not having him at all. "Tell me..." He looked down a bit and then back in your eyes. "Why were you with him if you-...If you were in love with me?" He never stutter while talking, but now he just did because of you and the huge power you have over him.

You didn't know how to answer to it. You just bit on your tongue until you felt blood all over your mouth and said the truth. The awful ugly truth.

"It was easier because he was in love with me...And I wasn't. So this way-...This way I won't get hurt."

JJ ran his hands over his blond messed hair and chuckled a little. Years of friendship were wasted because she was scared of love. Because she only wanted to be loved and not give anything back. He can't even look at her anymore. She just became pure evil in his eyes.

"JJ, please. Give me a change to make it up to you...To all of you. I'm so sorry. What do you want me to do now? I'll do anything for you to-...To forgive me." You started speaking a lot, feeling agitated at the thought of losing your best friend for good. You always loved JJ and there was always something more between the two of you, but you were smart enough to realize that JJ felt it too and you were dumb enough to take him from granted all this time while you played with him and Rafe. All your life no one really showed you any kind of affection, so you became desparte for it and you didn't mind being loved. But now it was about JJ...He was there every damn time and now when you realize that he's not gonna be anymore, you are on the edge of losing your mind.

He bit on his lips, a way of showing of stressed he felt in that moment and when you tried to grab his hands, he pushed yours away and take a step towards the door but your eyes are still locked.

"They already did forgive you. Maybe some day I will too, but-..."

"No, please. Don't do this." You shook your head, wanting to believe that none of this is actually real and you were desparte to keep him there a little more, to talk it out, but he gently pushed you away. He wouldn't hurt you.

"But I don't want you in my life anymore. You hurt me enough." Another round of tears traveled his cheeks down to his chin. "We are done, [Y/N]. I hate myself because I know I will always love you and-..." JJ broke is own heart a little more by saying this to you when everything he wanted to do was kissing you and holding you at his chest. It was hard, probably the hardest thing he ever did. "And if you-...If you ever cared about me, if you really love me...You will let me go."

You closed your eyes, wanting to end everything right in that moment. "Say it." You heard him say, but you shook your head. "Promise me you will let me go. For good. Do it." He kept pushing you and when you opened your eyes, you saw him crying just as hard as you.

You raise your hand and he does the same and you catch your pinkies together.

"Pinky promise?" He said and you know that this is gonna be the last time you would do something you did since you were just children. Nothing ever felt as hard as this is.

"Pinky promise."

And for the first time ever he saw pure love in your eyes; you were looking at him in the same way he used to look at you when you turned around.

But now he's the one turning around with you deep buried inside his chest.

[moonlit-imagines]

A Bug’s Life

Peter Parker x Lang!reader

warnings:

a/n: i love this concept and also anon u r sweet and i just found out theres a marvel supervillainess named dragonfly but since i havent heard of her until today im using that name!

prompt: anonymous: “Can you please write a Tom Holland!Peter Parker x Female!Reader where the reader is the older sister of Cassie Lang (Antman’s daughter) and her and Peter fall in love with each other. ✨ Thanks so much! 😘”

Okay, so when you were a kid, you had always dreamed of being a superhero. You never thought you’d know your idols personally, though. You see, when your dad, Scott Lang, came back from prison, a lot changed. Suddenly, he was a superhero and no matter how much he didn’t like it, you wanted to be apart of it.

“Y/N, no, please. You’re just a kid!” You dad argued with you in the presence of your “uncles.”

“Scotty, I think it’d be good for her, you know? Like, she’s so smart and she’s got a lot of talent! I think she could learn a thing or two from Hope and Dr. Pym, right?” Uncle Luis egged on.

“Yeah, dad! Me and Hope have already been experimenting with some stuff and, I mean, Mom’s been bugging me over getting into some extracurriculars...” You reasoned with him.

“Yeah, y/n, like photography club or soccer, not being a crime-fighting bug!” Scott pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, but when he looked back up, you were giving him puppy eyes. “Don’t...don’t do that.”

“Please, dad? I just wanna follow in your footsteps. You’re my hero.” You pouted your lip and didn’t break eye contact with him until he let out a load groan.

“Your mom is going to kill me.” He mumbled while you celebrated with Luis.

You became known as Dragonfly, Ant-Man and Wasp’s sidekick partner. It wasn’t long before you were affiliated with the Avengers and other heroes from across the galaxy.

The first time you stepped foot into the Avengers Compound was unbelievable.

“If only I could tell eight-year-old me how cool she’d grow up to be...” You whispered as your dad led you through the place. You were specifically requested for recruitment following a backround check that proved that you were qualified to train as a junior scientist! The program had just been started thanks to the young Spider-Man, one of the many heroes you had met before and would actually get to know after today.

“Alright, kiddo, it’s not too late to back out.” Your dad told you.

“It’s gonna be fine, dad! You know you can visit me anytime and I’ll come to see you and Cassie every chance I can get.” You gave him a warm smile to let him know it’s alright.

“I know...I’m just gonna miss you, you know?” He shrugged, but before the conversation could continue, you were greeted by Bruce Banner, aka the Hulk.

“Welcome! Nice to see you again, Scott.” Bruce shook your dad’s hand, then turned to you. “And it’s wonderful to finally meet the girl behind the mask.” He shook your hand.

“Nice to meet you, too, Doctor Banner.” You fit your small hand into his abnormally large (and green) hand.

“I’ve heard great things about you, Y/N. I’m excited to see your talent up close.” Dr. Banner chuckled. “I told Peter to meet us here, he probably forgot.” He walked to the wall and pressed the speaker button to the intercom. “Peter, can you meet us at the South Entrance?”

Moments later, a teenage boy came barrelling towards the three of you.

“Sorry! Sorry I’m late.” He apologized profusely. You giggled at the disheveled appearance of him. His hair was sticking up in the back and his flannel was half-tucked into his pants. “I’m Peter!” He stuck his hand out for you to shake. “Peter Parker. Spider-Man.” You took his hand gladly and shook it.

“Y/N Lang. Dragonfly.” You introduced yourself. “It’s been a while since we’ve fought together.” You pointed out. “Maybe that’s a good thing.” Peter’s eyes furrowed at that comment. “You know, not fighting.” You added.

“Oh, yeah, definitely!” Peter agreed.

“So, let me guess: you overslept?” You referenced Peter’s bold look and he quickly fixed anything noticeably wrong to him. Bruce and your dad were just observing the chemistry between you and Peter, exchanging entertained glances.

“Hi! I’m y/n’s dad, Scott. Ant-Man.” Scott interrupted as he waved to Peter.

“Oh! I remember you. You got really big in Germany and I had to web your knees until you fell down.” Peter brought up old memories and you covered your mouth to stop from laughing.

“Yep! That’s me.” Scott eyes got slightly wider. “So, I really wish I could stay, but I have a meeting with a client tomorrow morning that I can’t miss. Alarm company doesn’t run itself, you know?” Silence. “Anyways, uh, y/n.” He motioned you a bit closer so you could say goodbye. He crouched down and grabbed both your shoulders. “I love you so much and I am super proud of you. This is an awesome opportunity, kiddo!”

“Yeah, I know.” You said in a sort of disappointed tone.

“What’s wrong?” Scott asked.

“I’m just gonna miss you.” You frowned.

“Come here.” Your dad pulled you into a tight hug. “I’m gonna miss you, too.” The hug lasted at least sixty seconds before he pulled away and kissed your forehead. “Okay, now here’s your bag, go do some science!” He gave you your suitcase. “I love you, Pumkin.”

“Love you, too, dad.” You smiled, almost holding back tears. You really didn’t want to say goodbye to him, but it’s apart of life. Scott watched as you, Peter, and Banner walked down the halls of the Compound. Bruce and Peter were showing you your new room!

“What’s crime like on the West Coast?” Peter asked you. “I’ve only fought crime on the East Coast. And Europe. And Space.”

“Crime is the same coast to coast. It’s crime.” You shrugged.

“Well, that’s cool. Sorry, I’m not good at small talk.” He chuckled.

“Peter, you’ll be able to show y/n her room and give her a little tour, right?” Bruce asked as he slowed down.

“Yeah, no problem.” Peter nodded.

“Alright, great. I’ll be in the lab if anyone needs me.” Bruce walked away and left the two of you to it.

“Okie doke.” Peter clapped his hands together. “Well, this is the hallway.” Is exactly how he just began the tour. The Compound was actually, surprisingly, bigger than you expected. “And that’s the training room, there’s the kitchen, your room has it’s own bathroom, but there are other bathrooms all over the place. There’s a shopping list on the fridge if you ever have any requests, but fruit snacks are banned since I ate two full boxes in one day and threw up.” Peter gave that wonderful anecdote.

“Wow, that’s...impressive?” You tried to come up with something.

“I think the word you’re looking for is ‘disgusting.’” Peter and you shared a laugh as you approached your new room. He opened the door up and you stepped into the biggest bedroom you’d ever seen. “It’s taken some getting used to, you know, the big room, the big bed, the huge bathroom, all of it.”

“This is amazing.” You mumbled.

“Yeah! And Bruce said we can go shopping and decorate the room any way you’d like. I just got my license, so I’d be cool with driving.” Peter proposed.

“Yeah, I think that’d be pretty cool.” You agreed as you threw your suitcase onto the bed and started unpacking. “Uh, I’m kind of hungry...know any places to eat around here?” You started putting shirts on hangers and filling up your huge closet. You noticed Peter hadn’t answered your question yet, so you turned around to see what he was stalling for. He was just watching you. “Am I really that interesting?” You joked.

“What?” Peter blinked. “Oh! Yeah, sorry, yeah, there’s a few places around that we can go to. Assuming you’d want my company, of course. It’s your choice, really.” Peter rambled and you approached him.

“Duh, I gotta get to know my housemate better!” You pulled Peter out of the room and in a random direction. “Am I going the right way to the garage?”

“No.” He answered and you quickly changed directions. You were oddly comfortable with Peter already, and he wasn’t exactly against it. You were super sweet to him and you two have a lot of shared experience. Teen heroes trying to make a difference. And bug-themed.

Peter drove you to his favorite (and closest) restaurant for dinner, and on the way, he played his music on the playlist. Left Hand Free by Alt-J played through the speakers as you sang along.

“You like this song?” He asked and you nodded without a pause in singing. “Good, so do I. You have a really good voice.” He complimented, which definitely made you blush.

“Thanks, now sing with me!” You nudged his arm leaning on the console and resumed your singing.

“I don’t really sing.” Peter chuckled and saw you roll your eyes, then sighed. “Fine. You win.” He began to join you in song.

Well your left hand’s free, and your right’s in grip. With another left hand watch his right hand slip towards his gun, woah woah woah...

“You’re not too bad, yourself, Peter.” You told him as he pulled into a parking spot at the restaurant. The two of you walked in together and the waitress immediately recognized Peter.

“Hey there, Peter! Good to see you!” She greeted and grabbed two menus. “I see you’ve brought a date.” She raised her eyebrows and smirked.

“Oh, uh, she’s not—” Peter stuttered before you took over.

“Yep, it’s our first date! I’m y/n.” You introduced yourself.

“Well, it’s nice to see him with someone. Follow me, you two.” She let you over to a table and told you she’d be back for drinks in a minute. As soon as she left, Peter turned to you.

“When were you going to tell me this was a date?” Peter cocked an eyebrow with a crooked smile to match it.

“I’m sorry! I hope it’s okay I told her that.” You innocently replied.

“It’s more than okay.” Peter leaned forward. “I’m happy to be your date. We are moving a bit fast, though.”

“Are you sure? This is actually pretty slow for people our age. By now, they’d probably be confessing their love for one another.” You joked and he rolled his eyes.

“You are so right!” He snorted. “Jeez, it’s been so long since I’ve talked to someone my own age!” He sighed. “What about you?”

“I hang out with adults all day long. The only kid I hang out with is my little sister. Do you have any siblings?” You asked him.

“Only child.” Peter answered. “What’s your sister’s name?”

“Cassie. She’s sweet but it’s kind of weird coming back after the Blip and seeing her all big and everything.” You made random hand gestures to demonstrate that she was bigger.

“I know, right! I have classmates that I saw as infants that are now bigger than me!” He explained. The waitress came back and got you your drinks and took each of your orders. Back to the chit-chat. “Okay, now tell me, what got you into the hero-game?”

“Okay, well, my dad had just gotten out of prison, right?” That sentence itself made Peter choke on his drink. “Oh, calm down, it was a non-violent offense. He actually exposed corruption, that’s why I look up to him.” You explained.

“That’s good, that’s good. I’m glad. Go on.” He took another sip from his drink.

“Yeah, so then he robbed Hank Pym, who actually wanted my dad to rob him, then a bunch of ants broke my dad out of jail after he got arrested again for stealing from Dr. Pym, then my dad became the new Ant-Man and took down some bad guys, his new girlfriend, Hope, who is Dr. Pym’s daughter, took a liking to me and started showing me the ropes, so me and my Uncle Luis convinced my dad to let me make my own suit. Then Dragonfly was born.” You explained in full detail. “What about you?”

“Oh, yeah. Well, I got bit by a radioactive spider that was being experimented on in a lab, then I had a short-lived wrestling career, then my uncle who raised me died and I became Spider-Man.” He smiled and your jaw dropped.

“Holy shit, are you okay?” You asked.

“Oh, yeah, I’m good.” He admitted as you guys recieved your food. “So, anything else I should know about you?”

“I dunno.” You shrugged. “I like Star Wars.” You told him.

“Me too!” Peter exclaimed.

“No, you don’t. My dad told me Spider-Man called AT-AT’s ‘walking-thingies.’” You shook your head and laughed at the thought of that.

“Okay, so I’m not a huge fan, but our next date can be a Star Wars marathon?” Peter proposed.

“Yes!” You agreed a bit too enthusiastically. Peter smiled and the waitress brought an ice cream sundae with two spoons to the table.

“It’s on the house.” She told you two with a wink.

“Looks like we’re sharing.” You grabbed a spoon and got to work. Peter got chocolate all over his chin. He was kind of a messy eater. “You’ve got a little something...” You grabbed a napkin and wiped his chin clean.

“Thanks.” Peter picked his spoon up and moved it towards you. “Have you tried any of the brownie yet?” You took a bite of what he offered.

“Wow, that’s amazing.” You spoke through your mouthful.

“I hate to brag, but I make a pretty mean batch of brownies.” Peter bragged.

“You’re gonna have to prove it, Pete.” You wiped your face off and cleaned up your spot a bit. “You ready to get back to the Compound?”

“Yeah, yeah, let’s get going.” Peter left some cash on the table to pay the bill and walked you out to the car. The car ride back was filled with jokes and even more stories about your super-adventures. “So, you’re telling me that the first time you shrank, you cried?”

“Yes! Dude, it was an emotional experience. I’m telling you, I was not prepared for something so cool.” You defended yourself. “Now tell me something embarrassing about your powers.”

“I got stuck to a bathroom stall at school and they thought I was skipping class so they sent an aide and I was crying out of fear.” He admitted with pity in his voice.

“Oh, my god. That’s awful.” You giggled and grabbed his hand. “Have you recovered yet?”

“No, unfortunately not, but the handholding sure does help.” Peter squeezed your hand tighter.

“I’m glad.” You smugly replied and closed your eyes to listen to the music. You were kind of exhausted from traveling, so you knew you’d pass out the moment you hit your bed. Soon, you arrived at the Compound and Peter kissed your cheek to get you up.

“We’re hoooome.” He said in a singsong voice as your eyes fluttered open. “Sorry, that was weird.” He apologized, but you grabbed his face and pulled him in for a long kiss. More like a brief makeout, but potato, poe-tah-toe.

“You’re really cute, you know?”

[mostly-marvel-musings]

A Mere Mortal - Chapter Four

A/N: This story is based on the prompt : Vampires cannot enter a house without your permission, but what if your landlord’s a vampire? It’s his house, he’s just letting you live there. Part of the Landlord Vampire Fic Frenzy hosted by the amazing @just-the-hiddles​ . Feedback’s appreciated as always! :))

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Vampire! Bucky Barnes x Vampire! Loki x Human! Reader

Word count: 2298

Warnings: 18+ stuff. Kissing and make out scenes. Foul language.

Tags: @buckybarnesplumwhore​ @ladyacrasia​ @tcc-gizmachine​ @alexakeyloveloki​

Taglists open! Send me an ask if you wish to be tagged in future chapters.

...

It had been a while since you woke up before the alarm went off. Given the fact that you were up late writing and editing some initial drafts, this morning you felt surprisingly fresh.

Might as well go for a run.

Pulling out your trainers, a blue fleece jacket and a beanie that you found in your luggage you stepped out.

The weather was nippy, perfect for a jog through the little forest trail. Plugging your headphones you put on a ‘workout mix’ and started a slow jog following a narrow path that winded through the woods.

When the cabin came into view you leaned against a tree to catch your breath. Huffing, you pulled the earplugs out and looked around.

Faint whimpering sounds reached your ears from behind another tree to your right. You stepped around and a scared looking pup, not older than three weeks came into view. He was visibly shivering in the cold and you couldn’t help but pick him up.

“Where’s your mama little one?” you murmured looking around for any signs of an adult dog, but found none. “You hungry?” already walking inside with him tucked in your arms.  

Thankfully you had leftover steamed veggies in your fridge from last night which would have to suffice for now.

You mashed the carrots and broccoli and offered it to the puppy along with some water which he accepted with grateful wags of his tiny tail.

Letting him out in the harsh weather would be cruel, might as well find a box and some sheets to keep him warm.

The aroma of freshly made coffee still lingered in the air, after you took a quick shower and breakfast when your phone rang. It was a Face Time video from Sam.

“Sammie! How are you?”

“You seem awfully chipper (Y/N). I’m good. How’re things in creepy town?”

You rolled your eyes but laughed, you had missed him.

“For one stop calling it creepy town. Second, things couldn’t be better. I went for a run in the woods earlier today and came home with a puppy!”

“You did what?”

“Yeah well he looked so fragile and cold, I couldn’t leave him out there. Plus look how cute he is!” You said flipping the camera around so that Sam could see the pup who was now curled up into a ball on the rug, sleeping peacefully.

“Cute. Hey did you meet your landlord Mr. Bones was it?”

“It’s Barnes Sam, yes we met. Bucky is such a nice guy. Ah. A perfect gentleman. Like you wouldn’t believe.” you gushed excitedly. You recalled the meeting and he listened patiently, sneaking in a few teasing remarks in between. 

“I smell a crush (Y/N/N)”

“Oh stop, I’ve only met him twice, we had drinks the other day. Nothing happened” you spoke with a tad bit of disappointment. Something almost happened.

“So what? You can make a move. Guys dig that.” Sam insisted.

“I moved here to write my novel Sam. I can’t just randomly hook up with my landlord.”

You can do both, pun intended. Your horny alter ego spoke up.

You cut the call after filling him in on most of the details. You didn’t mention that weird sex dream with Loki, in fact didn’t mention the man at all. You hadn’t figured what to make of it, it was completely out of the blue.

Something you didn’t want to dwell on too much.

...

Mid-morning was spent trying get the pup to not pee next to the kitchen cabinet and to find a name for the little guy.

After a few tries he wagged his tiny tail when you said Bear, quite fitting, he was brown and shaggy.

You had lunch at the grill, when Bear had finally slept in his box and you were sure he wouldn’t get too lonely in your absence. You purchased kibbles, a leash and a few other things from Fred’s on your way home.

…

Bucky’s POV

I’ve been staring at this page for the longest time, reading the same sentence over and over again.

I managed to get my hands on (Y/N)’s latest book online and got it shipped here. An anthology of short stories, the title was enough to intrigue me, Mere Mortals.

She had a flair for writing thrillers, no wonder this was a best-seller.

This particular story caught my attention about a vampire falling madly in love with a human. A beautifully written tragedy with a line that struck me the most,

“Loving the monsters never ends well for the human.”

The book made me wonder how she might react if she finds out who I really am. Would she run away or be brave enough like one of her characters and stick around. Probably best to leave that topic for later.

Your book is fantastic (Y/N). You weren’t kidding when you said you love the supernatural. :P

How’s the new one coming along?

I didn’t want to seem too pushy but I couldn’t help myself. Something about her made it hard for me to stay away.

You read my book! I’m glad you found my obsession amusing. As far as the new one goes, I’ve been at it for days with very little progress. Starting to freak out. :(

The promptness of her reply made me smile. I quickly texted back and invited her over for dinner later today.

With that I walked inside to get a refill of my dinner for the night from the fridge.

…

Bear sat looking up at you with his head tilted to one side, as you explained you’d be leaving him alone for a few hours to go meet Bucky.

“And please don’t destroy the house, we’re here on lease. I’ll be back soon.” You placed a kiss on his nose and stood up to leave.

The walk to Bucky’s house was spent adjusting your hair every few minutes and making sure your breath was minty fresh. As trees cleared a huge cottage came into view which you could only guess was his ancestral home.

It looked surprisingly modern though with a few overgrown weeds around and English ivy covering most of the exterior walls. Stopping outside the front door, you checked your appearance one last time on your phone camera and knocked.

“Come on in, it’s open.” Bucky’s voice came through from a distance. You pushed the door open and stepped in the dimly lit house.

The wallpaper covered foyer reminded you of an old museum. Reaching the living room, you looked around to find most of the tables topped with antiques and artifacts. Old paintings that definitely belonged to the 18th century decorated the walls. All in all, the house looked like it belonged to someone who was stinking rich.

“Sorry for not opening the door, I almost lit my kitchen on fire.”

You turned around to see Bucky dressed in a button down tucked neatly in dark denims and the sleeves folded up to the elbow, hair in disarray but still freaking gorgeous walk in the living room. You looked around the room and said, “I didn’t know you lived in a museum.”

“Oh it’s our family home, almost been the same since my great grandfather built it. I’ll give you a tour later.”

“You’re rich.”

“No my parents were rich.” He chuckled.

“That is a typical rich person reply right there.” You shot back as you followed him into the kitchen.

The kitchen was bigger than your first apartment, very rustic looking with modern appliances to add contrast. The smell of Bolognese wafting through the closed pot on the stove made your stomach grumble.

“Hope you like Italian.” He gave you a smile and opened the lid to show off his work proudly.

“Is there anyone who doesn’t? It’s my favorite.” You walked closer and inhaled deeply before sighing rather dramatically.

“Come on. Let’s eat.”

You ate at the breakfast bar, though there was a dining room. Of course it was a twelve seat formal one complete with a fancy chandelier and everything.

“Are you like a prince or something hiding your true identity from me?” you asked eyeing him with mock suspicion.

He laughed, “I could be a mafia for all you know.” You got the latter part right, (Y/N)

“Nah don’t get that vibe from you.”

“Well my family owned a few properties around here including the cabin you’re living in, and the library, and now I look after it. My great grandfather was a part of the town council and everything, it’s boring.”

“Interesting would be the word I would use. Though a tiny part of me was hoping you’d say mafia and prove me wrong.”

You kept the conversation going through rest of the dinner and he seemed eager to know about your past as well. After a tour of the house, he offered you a nightcap as you settled on a plush couch in the living area. Comfortable silence that fell between you was broken as you heard soft music coming from an antique looking vinyl player.

“Care to dance?”

You couldn’t help but giggle as you took his outstretched hand and stood from your spot.

“See this is the kinda stuff that happens either in romantic movies or the beginnings of a serial killer movie.” You slid your arms around his neck as both of you gently swayed to the music.

The things you were feeling at that moment definitely were something you had only read about in those classic romantic novels you used to love so much in your growing years.

“Let’s just say it’s the former for now okay?” Bucky kept his arms around your waist and looked at your lips. You wasted no time in replying as you pulled him in for a kiss.

Lips brushed against each other softly at first, delicate like butterfly wings, he could feel the warmth of your skin and taste the wine you’d had earlier. 

Soon you lost yourself in the moment as instincts took over and your fingers weaved through his hair. One hand moved to the back of your head and the other stayed on your back as he pulled you even closer and the innocent kiss turned fervent.

The need to pull away for air became necessary as you broke the kiss and pressed your foreheads together, grinning ear to ear.

“The cooking, the wine and dance. You’re very old school in your ways Mr. Barnes.”

“I sure love it when you call me that doll.” 

With that he pressed his lips to yours once more and ravaged your mouth. Backing you up against a wall, his hands dropped down to your hips and he pressed himself closer to you, making his hard-on evident. A moan escaped you as he moved his mouth from your lips down to your neck where he found your sweet spot with ease.

All he could think about was the feel of your flushed skin, your heady scent and the smell of blood flowing through your carotid. He pressed his nose at the spot where your shoulder and neck met and inhaled deeply. This made your eyes flutter open.

“What’re you doing?” your voice came out weak as you tugged on his hair lightly, not understanding his actions but not really wanting him to move away.

“Stopping myself from going too far. I find you irresistible (Y/N).” he said slowly kissing his way back to your lips, eyes still closed.

“And you intrigue me. You’ll definitely end up as my protagonist if I ever write a romance novel.” you decided to lighten the sexually charged atmosphere with your dull sense of humor. You weren’t one of those who’d sleep with someone on their first date. Deciding it was time to leave you gently nudged him and he stepped away to give you space.

He walked you back to your home as always and stopped at the porch steps.

“Probably wise to not invite you in just now, Bear must’ve pooped in several places.”

“Bear?”

“Shit! I forgot to ask. I found a puppy this morning and decided to take him in. I hope its okay with you.” You silently prayed he wasn’t one of those ‘no pets allowed’ guy, considering his own house was so prim and proper, there wasn’t a stray fly around.  

“Who doesn’t like dogs?”

Vampires. Vampires don’t gel well with dogs.

But he couldn’t say no to you. You were probably safer with one in the house.

You stood on your tippy toes to give him a goodbye kiss which lasted a few seconds that had you reconsider going in alone.

…

Loki peered through from the shadows as you kissed Bucky outside your cabin. Fists clenched, eyes seeing red he stormed away through the woods searching for an outlet, a prey.

Rage turned into blood thirst, he spotted the lady who worked at the grill walking through the empty town square. Perfect.

Her wrist watch read 12:30, as Jenny made her way home after her shift ended at the grill. The area was deserted, illuminated only by the street lamps. She heard twigs snapping behind her and turned to locate the source of the noise.

There was no one.

Slightly alarmed, she turned back to see a tall dark figure standing right in front of her. Her initial shock wore off as she recognized the man. It was Loki.

“Mr. Laufeyson! You scared me.”

Loki stalked closer with eyes dark and an unreadable look on his face.

“Don’t mind me, I’m just out for a bite.”

He grabbed Jenny before she could run and sunk his fangs in her neck.

Her piercing scream echoed into the night, soon coming to a stop like her pulse.

…

[millytempesta]

Mine and only.

Chapter 2, chapter 3.

Paring: Bokuto Koutarou X reader

Rating:  fluff.

Summary: After another date went horribly wrong, all that (y/n) wished for was for the only man in her life that ever understand her, to become a human.Little did she knows that her pet owl wished for the same thing, and that magically their dream became true.

Warnings: This story will contai SMUT.

A/n: I realized that this chapter is a little rushed, it’s the first time I’m writing somethin, sorry. Also I'm already sorry for all the spell and grammar error, english is not my first language.

Tapping sound is all that can be heard around the office.

Tap tap tap…“Ugh…” a groan can be heard from one of the desks.“My head is killing me…” (e/c) eyes scan the office, almost empty at this hour of the day.The clock shows 8.45 pm ‘Only 15 more minutes left and I’ll finally be able to go back home’. Her eyes land back on her desk, where a small frame is situated. Her small hand takes hold of it, studying the picture inside of it. A dreamy smile appeared on her pink lips. ‘My Bo, he must be worried I’m this late… I need to finish this quickly!’. With a look of determination the (h/c) haired girl turned back to her computer and started typing again.

‘For my Bo!’

“And.... Done!”, with a satisfied nod, she turns off the computer, ready to finally head back home. ‘I should stop by the store to buy some of Bo’s favourite food as a sorry, and maybe some more wine for the weekend’ she thinks happily, moving to the elevator, but before she could even get near it a squeaky voice calls her name. "(Y/n)! (Y/n)! Wait, I need to tell you something!!!” The blond girl jogged to her with a huge smile on her face. With a sigh, the (h/c) haired girl turned to face her, already knowing what was going to come. “You are not going home, are you?”

“… Yes…?” A whine escapes from the younger girl in front of her. “But it’s Friday night, we don’t have work tomorrow and the day after! Come to have a drink with me and my friends, you’ll have more fun!” With an apologetical smile, she answered “I’m sorry Ichika-chan, but I’m too tired today… Maybe the next time okay?”

But was only met with a disappointed look “You always say so, but never come… You know, in my group of friends there are a lot of hotties, I bet you’ll find someone of your likening”. “I’m not-” the blond girl waved her off “Yeah yeah, you are interested in dating at the moment, because you all heart belongs to Bo… Yeah same story every time, when will you change your mind? You are already 25, you won’t be young forever you know? It’s now that you need to experiment, to truly live your life. Not passing all your time playing the housewife, you can do that once you’ll have your kids.” Green eyes lock on (e/c), searching for something that apparently she did not find, since a defeated sigh escapes from her lips. “Look, I don’t like to nag you every time, I am just worried about you… Since that guy accident happened you stopped going out, closing yourself in your apartment with Bo… You know I like him, but I miss my friend, and I want too some time to spend with her, getting drunk, doing stupid things and talking about sex experience of the night before”. Guilt starts expanding in the older girl for making her friend worry so much and making her feel left alone.

(Y/n) didn’t have many friends, they all stubbed her in the back. Ichika was the only constant in her life, way before she met Bo. She knew about this point that all the little girl said was only for the best, that’s why she always found it almost impossible saying no to her. With a sigh she locks eyes with her “I promise you I’ll come tomorrow night out okay?”. A huge grin spreaded on Ichika’s face, happy that her friend decided to spend some quality time together. “Hey I’m counting on it, I’ll tell the guys too. We are gonna have so much fun tomorrow!!”. With a last hug and excited exchange of location and time, the two went their separate ways back home.

After stopping by the shop, (Y/n) finally arrived home. Opening the door she announced herself “Booo, I’m hoome”. A loud flap sound can be heard before a big gray and black mass of feathers appeared from the bedroom door. “CRIP”. A big horned owl made his way towards the girl, who is waiting for him with her arms wide open. Yes, the guy who is stuck on her head 24/7 is none other than her lively and cuddly pet owl.(Y/n) and Bo met 1 years ago, during her morning jog in the park, where she heard his screaming. A dog had one of his wings in his mouth, shaking the poor bird from side to side. She couldn’t leave him there, so she runned to him and scared the dog away. Turning back, she felt like an electric shock runned through her, when yellow eyes met her (e/c) ones. It was like in that moment, a bond formed between the two, proved when the injured animal itself moved closer to her, letting the girl lift him in her warm embrace. It was only natural for her to take the pet in her home, taking care of his healing and loving him beyond any other relationship that she ever had. In exchange, the horned owl, once healed, didn’t once leave her side, always waiting for her to come back home, and going out hunting for treasure to show her on her return.

“Hi big boy! I missed you so much!” she says sweetly, stroking the bird’s head who is resting on her chest. With an annoyed tone, the owl looked at her “HOOT!” Trying to calm the bird stroking under his chin,“I know, I’m late… I’m sorry, I had lots of work to do” she tried to explain. But that seemed to don’t convince him, as he took a step back and opened his wings to her “Hoot hoot!” showing how he was not happy about it. Fidgeting with her hands, the girl looked at the owl through her lashes, and with her best pout she continued “But I bought you your favorite for tonight… Will you forgive me?”. At that the howl started jumping happily “Hooooooot!!”

A giggle escapes her at the cute image of her happy pet. Moving to the kitchen, she started unpacking the groceries, taking out the rabbit for her pet, and the vegetables to prepare her pasta. After some cooking, she placed their food on their plates and moved to the sofa, where her olw was waiting for her. “HoooOOooT!” he started jumping as soon as he saw her with the food. Giggling she sat on the floor, placing his plate next to her “Calm down, or you’ll spill it everywhere!”. Ignoring her warning, he started devouring the food, sending bits of it everywhere. Shaking her head she turned and started eating her food “At least I know you like it, cooking for you always brings me so much satisfaction”. In response she received a purred like “hoooot”, emphasizing her point.

After they both finished she sat on the sofa, bird laying on her tummy, watching some action movie on the tv, Bo’s favourite.

When the scene with the main character kissing came, a sigh escaped the girl’s lips. “Hoot?” a curious sound came from the big feathers-like-tummy-warmer. Without looking at him she started talking “You know… I miss it…”. Looking down at the confused yellow eyes she continued “I miss being kissed, touched… I miss being in love, being for once the one pampered” Turning back to the screen, another sigh escapes her “I’m going out tomorrow night, I might pass the night out if I’ll find someone…”.

“CRIP” Suddenly the bird stood up and flapped his wings. “Hey I’m coming back in the morning okay? And we’ll have a cuddle day together-” The bird interrupted her flying away in the bedroom “Booo, please, it’s only tomorrow night” no response. After some seconds, worried, she made her way in the room, but found it empty. It’s not the first time the bird went out, so she tried brushing it off and decided to go to sleep, knowing he would be back and cuddling next to her. But after one hour of waiting under the covers, alone, she started panicking.

Bo always came back during night time, never letting her sleep alone. Moving to the window, relief washed on her, seeing her pet sitting on the big tree in their garden. She could swear she saw her bird in an emo-like mode, pouting at her when their eyes met. “Bo… What are you doing there? C’mon, get inside” she said using her sweet voice. The owl seemed conflicted if giving up on his sulking state, but apparently deciding she didn’t deserve his time that night, he turned his back to her. “Bo… I can’t sleep without you… Please… I need you next to me…” at that his ears perked up and, rotating his head of 180°, he looked back at her. Smiling, knowing she already won, she finally said “You are the cutest bird, and best horned owl I ever saw, and I loooOOOoove you!! Can you now come and cuddle on the bed?”. Pumping his chest out -provoking her to roll her eyes- he quickly made his way on the bet, jumping in a way that meant for her to get into bed with him. “I’m coming, I’m coming” she said giggling. Cuddling near the soft feathers, her eyes became heavier. With a yawn she gave her the good night and before falling into the land of dreamland, a whispered “I love you Bo” made his way out of her.

This night couldn’t go worse.

She knew that going out was going to be a total mess. She knew she had to stay at home with Bo, watching some action film and eating meat all day.

But no… She decided to go out…

And now she found herself having to kick out the guy she met that night, who was screaming like a mad man at her, saying the worst offences she ever heard, in complete contrast with the world he was telling her when he was trying to get in her pants, because he tried to hurt her pet. On his defense Bo tried to attack him, having seen him as an intruder on his territory and a threat for her owner, probably not understanding the moans that escaped her while he pushed her against the wall. But she couldn’t find in her to be worried about the man, who risked his eye probably, when he tried to grab Bo’s wings as a defence from his claws. All she could see was her lovely pet, risking to be seriously harmed from a stupid madman. And now she found herself with a sulking owl and a man screaming at her door at 1 in the morning. She’ll have to deal with all the noise complaints tomorrow. “I’m sorry… I should have known better to take a stranger in the house”. No response from the bird, who was now under the small table, back turned to her. “I put you in danger, when I promised you no harm would have come to you in my presence” Her voice started shaking. Still no response. A tear fell from her eyes “I am so sorry Bo” a sob escaped her. Closing her eyes, she let herself cry, knowing how much she fuked up, and that maybe her pet would never trust her again. A soft and warm wing spread across her back, followed by a softer head nugging at her harm. “Hoot…” he sounded so fragile. She turned and looked back at him “I am sorry Bo, it won’t happen again”. The owl nugged his head under her arm, making her space for him to cuddle her side. “Hoooot” the purring-like sound made her smile, a reassurance for her that he was no more mad.

Taking him on her arms, she made her way to the bed, laying down with the soft animal on her chest. That night she fell asleep with the weight on her body increasing, and with the most beautiful voice whispering in her ear a soft “I love you (Y/n), I promise you I’ll protect you from all those men”.

[smkkbert]

Last Wish (8/15)

Oliver feels like his life is crumbling when his best friend reveals that she is sick. Desperate to help her through the toughest time of her life, Oliver puts all his energy in fulfilling the wishes on Felicity’s bucket list. His hardest challenge - Felicity’s last wish on the list is getting married.

Previous Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 or read everything on Ao3

* * *

Felicity looked from the pile of clothes and other stuff to the almost completely filled suitcase and back again. There were still so many things to pack since she had so much of her stuff here, but she was too exhausted to pack the rest. That terrible seizure and all that lying around in the last days had thrown her back a lot. As much as the therapist had tried to help her recover, her tumor was making it hard to do so.

Every course of disease is different, Felicity, so I can’t tell you what it will be like for you. What I can tell you is that it’s unpredictable. There will be times when you will feel better and times that you will feel worse. Even if you feel bad one day, you can still get better although the tumor keeps growing. We’ve talked about the longtime consequences, and there will be setbacks that will be hard to recover from. Your entire immune system is busy with this tumor. Every major setback and every additional trouble will be hard to come back from.

Shaking her head, Felicity pushed that thought away. She didn’t want to think about that now. She had enough time to remember all the terrible things she had been told about her tumor and what it would do to her once she had packed completely. There was more than enough time as every second spent with it was already a second too much.

Felicity turned her attention back to her task at hand. She tried to get up, but her legs were trembling too much. She didn’t trust them to carry her weight, so Felicity dropped back onto her mattress. Although there was no weight on her legs anymore, they still continued trembling, showing her how exhausted she really was.

Maybe she could ask one of the nurses to help her pack, but then again it wasn’t their job. They had more important things to do, and Felicity didn’t want to bother them. A woman in her twenties, no matter how sick, should be able to grit her teeth and pack her stuff. Her exhaustion was coming only from the tumor. It wasn’t coming from years of a hard life or almost porous bones. It was only coming from her head.

With that thought in mind, Felicity got up from the edge of the bed and slowly walked over to the wardrobe. She put her hands to one of the shelves. Clinging to it, she squeezed her eyes shut and took in a deep breath. Colorful dots were dancing in front of her eyes. Her knees were trembling slightly, but they didn’t break away from under her.

It had been nice to have so much of her stuff with her during the last days. That way, she hadn’t felt as miserable as she was sure she would have felt otherwise. Being in this foreign, sterile place had been hard enough, especially with all the memories of all the time she had spent in the hospital. If she hadn’t had her stuff around, it would have only been worse.

Felicity squeezed her eyes shut even more, trying not to think about the last conversation she had had with Oliver. The thought that their last conversation might be the last they ever had with each other had only made it worse. She hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it. The thought was even following her into her sleep, getting her some terrible nightmares.

Since Felicity knew that she was going to die, she had imagined what her last moment with Oliver would be like a lot. She had developed different scenarios, but every single one had allowed her to say something funny or meaningful to him before she passed away. None of it was as hurtful as the things she had said to him yesterday. Neither of them would have had to feel guilty or whatever.

Felicity shook her head firmly. As hard as it was, she was going to leave the hospital. With that, she was going to leave Oliver and the life he had offered her behind. It was better for him, for his family and even for her. It really was better for all of them if they cut it here.

Sucking in another deep breath, Felicity grabbed the last pile of clothes from the shelf and put it into her suitcase. She held her breath, hoping it would give her the strength she needed to walk over to the bed and drop her clothes into the suitcase. Her steps were a little more quickly when she hurried back over to the bed. Some of her shirts dropped next to it, but Felicity couldn’t care. Quickly, she sat down on the mattress next to her suitcase.

She was feeling dizzy already. As little as she had done, she was feeling like she had run a triathlon and marathon on the same day. Every single one of her muscles was feeling exhausted and powerless.

It was probably the best decision to finally go to a hospice now. Her body had already accepted that it was time for the end. As much as she had thought that she was ready to accept it, her brain hadn’t really processed it. It had just made her believe that she was really ready. Living with Oliver, who had been anything but accepting of the truth either, had only worsened it.

Felicity rubbed her hands together between her knees, and pursed her lips.

She wasn’t doing it for herself though. She was doing this for Oliver. Just like he had wanted to protect her from dying alone, she wanted to protect him from everything he was putting on himself right now. He had lost himself in the idea of helping her through it. Felicity had always thought that she had a handle on it, but Oliver had proved her very, very wrong on that.

With another sigh of regret, Felicity got up and tried to close it. She had no idea how Oliver had managed to get the zippers shut when he had brought all her stuff here. He must have either a secret technique to pack without wasting space, or he must have used pure brutality. Maybe it was as simple as the fact that he was able to use both of his hands though.

Anyway, Felicity couldn’t offer any of that, so she sat back down on the mattress. Her eyes fell onto her motionless hand, and it made her heart sink like it had when she had first realized the loss of sensation and movement. It was only the beginning. Felicity knew that. Still, it hit her every time she thought about it.

Until she died, it would get a lot worse. She’d lose control over most parts of her body. She wouldn’t be able to walk anymore or to move at all. She could maybe forget how to talk or how to hold her pee. Every day was going to be a new, terrible kind of surprise bag. She’d get – or rather lose – something new every day if things became worse and they would become worse.

Something inside of Felicity hoped that it was over before it got too bad. Her talking and babbling was part of who she was. Without it, she lost a lot of her personality she guessed. She lost her identity of a huge part of it at least.

Losing her ability to hold her pee was going to be humiliating. Felicity knew that a lot of people lived with bladder bags and even colostomy bags, and they got along with it. They learned to live with it if they had no other chance, so Felicity knew that it really was possible to get used to it. The thought still seemed kind of terrifying right now though.

The thought of any more seizures was just as terrifying. She had felt so out of control, so helpless, so afraid.

As much as Felicity had thought that she had processed her nearing death or that she was ready to help anyone getting through it, she knew that she wasn’t. She felt completely disconnected from her life, at least right now. She felt like she was floating outside of her body, looking down on herself living this life without knowing who she was looking at exactly.

A knock at the door made her flinch. She quickly wiped away the single tear that was rolling down her cheek and took in a sniffling breath.

Was it Oliver, she asked herself. Because they were best friends and because of the deep feelings they had for one another, they could sometimes feel what the other was feeling. They had that kind of sixth sense when it came to each other. That was how close they really were.

If it was Oliver, what was she going to say to him though? As much as she wanted to take back what she had said before because she was scared of dying with those regrets on her heart and because she kind of wanted him to know what she was feeling for him, Oliver would continue to lose himself in his need to help her. She couldn’t do that either.

Felicity needed to protect Oliver, and she needed to protect herself. They both needed that kind of protection. If Oliver couldn’t offer it, she would have to do it. Maybe it sounded harsh and a million other things, but it was the better for the both of them. It was the only way that she could protect Oliver since she wouldn’t get another chance.

Straightening up a little, Felicity took in another deep breath. She did her best to push away the thoughts that had still overwhelmed her a couple of minutes ago. She put on a smile, at least a half-hearted one, and cleared her throat.

“Yes?”

The door opened. Felicity’s heart skipped a beat before it started racing in his chest. Barely five beats had passed before Robert stuck his head into the room. Felicity’s heart sank from disappointed and lifted in relief at the same time.

This entire situation had been confusing before Oliver had told her about his feelings for her already. Since then, she felt like she had to restructure her entire life. While that wasn’t always a bad step, Felicity felt unsafe and alone right now. Her life was destructuring itself already. She didn’t have to add to that.

Her eyes fell onto the engagement ring on her finger, and her heart ached once more. With everything falling apart inside of her, Oliver had wrapped his arms around her and tried to give her hold from outside. He had been her lifebelt.

Without him, she was floating around without anything to hold onto. She was completely lost at sea, fearing to be pulled under the violent waves without any chance to get back to the surface. She was being suffocated by everything around her.

There were more reasons why Felicity would have liked to get married to Oliver though. He wasn’t only offering safety and stability. He was also offering warmth and understand and real love. He really loved her, and Felicity believed it. She even felt the same way, but she couldn’t tell him that. She could offer warmth, understanding and love too, but she would also bring pain, misery and uncertainty. She didn’t want that for him.

“I’m sorry.” Robert smiled softly as he stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. “I guess I am not who you wanted to see.”

Felicity cocked her head and looked at the man she was closer to than she had ever been to her biological father. She guessed that the disappointment had been the dominating expression on her face which was interesting since she considered the relied the dominating feeling in her chest. Maybe her face just gave away more than her heart was letting on.

“I’m glad that you are here.”

Felicity’s voice sounded hoarse which was probably a sign of how she hadn’t spoken since Oliver had left her bedside yesterday. She didn’t have many friends. Her colleagues, some of her former neighbors and people of the tech community had sent bouquets and some baskets with stuff she might need to feel better, but nobody had shown up. The Queens were the only reals friends she had, Felicity guessed, and she would have to leave them behind.

Thinking about that, Felicity narrowed her eyes at Robert slightly. His words told her that he knew she might have expected Oliver. She just didn’t know if Oliver had told his dad the truth about what had happened, or if Robert had simply guessed something was wrong because Oliver wasn’t spending every second he was awake with her.

“Do you need help with your suitcase?”

Felicity looked from Robert to her suitcase and back again. Biting on her bottom lip, she looked at him and nodded her head then. Robert’s smile made the glimpse of a smile spread on her lips too.

She watched him taking off his light summer coat and dropping it to the chair next to the door. He looked incredibly elegant, like he always did. Felicity knew by now that it had a lot to do with Moira and her need to always create a picture perfect. Still, she still couldn’t forget how she had always admired Robert for looking so mighty even if he didn’t try.

Robert crossed the room with three large steps and stopped in front of the bed. He rubbed his hands together like he was about to solve a difficult task. Using one hand to press the top of her suitcase down, he used the other hand to close the zipper. Within seconds, he was finished. He lifted the suitcase from the bed like it was as light as a feather and carried it over to the door.

When his eyes met Felicity’s the next time, she could see that he hadn’t just come by to see how she was doing. He had come here for a reason. He had things to say, and Felicity wasn’t sure she wanted to hear them. Still, she knew that she couldn’t really tell Robert that as he had done so much for her.

Biting down on her bottom lip once more, she closed her eyes. She turned her face away and lowered her head. She couldn’t see it, but she could feel it in the way the mattress dipped that he sat down on the edge of the bed next to her.

There was a long moment of silence. Robert didn’t say word. He just reached out his hand wordlessly and wrapped his fingers around her left hand. She couldn’t feel it there, but she could feel it from the weight of his hand on her knee where her own hand was resting too. Apparently, although the tumor was growing in her brain, it still found a lot of ways to make up for the abilities its little habitant was making her lose.

When Felicity eventually opened her eyes, Robert was smiling at her softly once more. His head was still cocked at her.

“Nobody really knows you are coming home today,” he told her, not a single reproach in his voice, “I would have come here earlier to help you pack if you had told us.”

Felicity pressed her lips together and rolled them over her teeth. She felt a little guilty since she would have left without saying goodbye if Robert hadn’t shown up here. Her guilt was a little limited though because she was sure that the chief of the hospital himself had called Robert. Apparently, they went golfing together once a month, so Felicity was sure that he had told him that Felicity was about to leave as well as the fact that she wasn’t going to go back to Queen Manor.

Although Felicity knew that she had a reason to be angry, she couldn’t get herself to care. Being angry wasn’t going to help her, and she was actually kind of glad that Robert knew the truth now. She wouldn’t have dared to call him and tell him the truth otherwise.

“You are going into a hospice?”

Felicity nodded her head, unable to say a word. She knew she could trust Robert. If she told him what had happened, he’d listen and give her the same advice he had given Thea if she had been in the same position. Since he was Oliver’s father, and Felicity didn’t know what Oliver had told him, she didn’t want to interfere with that though. It wouldn’t be fair.

“What hospice?”

“Dawn of a second life.”

“Dawn of a second life.” Robert blew out an impressed breath. “I guess they couldn’t find a bigger name?”

Felicity chuckled, knowing exactly what he meant. She hadn’t liked this name either. It was too big, too corny. Since it had been the only hospice around that had been able to offer her a room for the unforeseeable time and that had agreed to do so although nobody could really say how much longer she was going to make it, she had booked a room at their building. She knew it was going to make her roll her eyes a lot, at least if they acted the way their name made it sound.

The reason why Felicity was scared of going to a hospice because she didn’t want every single second of her life to be about dying. She didn’t want any conversations about how death was going to take something from them, but also help them find peace. She wanted an escape, and she wasn’t sure if she got it.

Releasing a long sigh, Felicity shook her head. The hospices she had called were all highly recommended. She had read several assessments of people that had been there with people they loved that had died as well of people that had commented on the services before they had passed away. They had all been more than satisfied with what they had gotten for the money.

“Why?” Robert’s voice was lowered to a soft whisper. “Why did you choose to go into a hospice after all when you know that you have a home with us?”

She had a home with the Queens. Felicity knew that. She appreciated that. Maybe she even feared it because she knew that they didn’t understand the depth of what they were getting themselves into. They should know it after everything they had been through with Thea, but she had died so quickly and without any warning that maybe they didn’t think it was the same.

Maybe it wasn’t. Maybe it was at least a little bit easier because they had time to say goodbye to each other. Still, it just wasn’t as easy as they might think it was.

“It’s better that way.”

She said it surprisingly firmly. Felicity guessed that her heart was a lot surer that this was the right thing then she was getting right now. At least she was sure enough about this to do anything in her power to convince them it was better to let her go now.

“Is it because of the feeling you and Oliver had for each other?”

Felicity turned her head quickly, looking at Robert with sharp eyes. She tried to read his face and see the answer there already, but she couldn’t. She had no idea how much Oliver had told him.

“What did Oliver tell you?”

“Nothing.”

Waiting for him to continue, Felicity held her breath. She could see in Robert’s eyes that he was serious though. Oliver hadn’t told him a single word, and still he knew about their feelings for each other. He also knew that something had changed since Oliver had come home from the hospital yesterday.

Robert really was a good father, and it wasn’t the least surprising to Felicity.

With a long sigh, Felicity turned her gaze away from Oliver. She lowered her face, letting her head sink until her chin rested on the top of her chest. She felt her heart beat firmly and the little breaks she had felt every single second since she and Oliver had talked yesterday seemed to increase with every beat now.

“Oliver told me that he loved me.”

Felicity’s voice was trembling slightly, and she felt tears burning in her eyes. She didn’t want to cry though. The headache she had had all day was bad enough already. Crying would only make it worse. She couldn’t have that right now.

“Was about damn time if you ask me.”

Frowning, Felicity looked at Robert once more. “Since when do you know?”

“For a while.” Robert sighed. “Before Thea died.”

When her frown deepened, Robert looked away. It wasn’t fast enough for her to miss the glimpse of guilt in his eyes. Felicity didn’t get it. What could he possibly feel guilty about?

“I watched him distancing himself from his feelings for you. I doubt that he was really successful at doing it, but I think he tried very hard to believe that he had. I don’t know why he did it. Maybe he thought he was too broken to be good for you after Thea died. We were all so broken. I saw him losing track of who he had grown to be and what he wanted from life, and I said nothing.”

Felicity shook her head. “You had your own feelings to go through after Thea’s death. Even if you hadn’t, Oliver was an adult. I don’t think that even a fatherly advice could have helped him… or us.”

Robert seemed almost relieved that she was thinking that way. Maybe he had needed to hear that being unable to be the father that he had wanted to be for Oliver after they had lost Thea did not mean that he was a bad father. He was still one of the good ones.

“Now, what’s wrong with Oliver telling you that he loves you?” Robert asked eventually, clearing his throat from the lump Felicity was sure had built in his throat. “I always thought that you loved him too.”

Felicity pursed her lips, but she didn’t say a word. She couldn’t say the words out loud. If they said them out loud and told anyone, especially someone as close to her as Robert, that she loved Oliver, it was going to become incredibly real. She couldn’t have that. She didn’t know what she would do if that happened.

Robert loved Oliver, and he loved Felicity. She was sure that he had a lot of things to say about all of this. She just wasn’t sure if those were the right things. The gentle expression in Robert’s eyes just proved to her that he wasn’t seeing the entire picture. Again.

“Do you really want your son to lose his heart to someone who will die within the next months?”

“Oliver already has lost his heart to you.”

Felicity pressed her lips together. She knew that Robert was technically right, but he missed the point here. The more Oliver gave into this feeling, the worse it would get. She tried to protect him. Why did nobody – not Robert, not Oliver himself – get that?

“I know what you are doing.” Robert’s voice was low and gentle. “You want to protect Oliver from suffering through the pain of losing you.”

Felicity pressed her lips together even more tightly. Maybe he did understand what she was doing. In that case, Felicity guessed that he just didn’t agree with her opinion.

“I do understand you,” Robert repeated eventually, “but I don’t agree with you.”

Bingo.

If Felicity weren’t still feeling so weak and exhausted, she’d get up and pace the room for a bit. She knew that it would make her feel a lot better. She couldn’t do this right now though. It would only show her how much she had lost already which would make the thought of what she was forcing herself to give up only worse.

“What good is it going to do if you or I or anyone tries to push Oliver away from you?” Robert’s voice was light, but his words weighed heavy. “It won’t make him fall out of love with you in case that’s what you think will happen.”

Felicity clenched her teeth. The truth was that she had no idea what exactly she thought was going to happen. She just knew – or at least she hoped – that Oliver wouldn’t suffer that much if she died. It was a fade hope, but it was all she had.

When Felicity eventually dared to look away from her feet and lock eyes with Robert, she still saw no reproach there. He really just wanted to know what exactly she was intending with all of this. Maybe he wanted to convince her otherwise too, but he wouldn’t urge her if he knew that she had made up her mind and was sure about this.

That was the point though, wasn’t it? Felicity wasn’t sure that she was doing the right thing. She broke her heart. She broke Oliver’s heart. She didn’t know if taking their chances of enjoying a little time together was going to help him ease the suffer of her death.

“When Thea died, Oliver was so, so broken,” Felicity whispered eventually, her voice trembling once more at the way her heart broke just thinking about it, “that he barely recovered from it. I don’t want that to happen to him again. I know he will grieve, but I don’t want it to be that bad. I want-“

Felicity’s voice broke, so she stopped and sucked in a deep breath. Saying it out loud only made it sound weirder and stupider if that was even possible. Then again, it told her that she didn’t really knew what she wanted. At least she wasn’t a hundred percent sure about it.

Of course she wanted to protect Oliver, but there was something else she wanted. Deep down, she wanted something else. It was selfish and dangerous, and it would break her heart as much as it would break Oliver’s, but she couldn’t help herself against it. If she was a hundred percent honest with herself, she wanted Oliver. She just couldn’t say that out loud, and she couldn’t follow this thing she wanted. It wouldn’t be fair because she wouldn’t live long enough to live with the consequences of her selfishness, while Oliver would.

“Oliver has suffered a lot when Thea died, and I don’t want that to happen to him again. I cannot put him through that again. If there is any way for me to protect him even from a fracture of the pain he might be going through, I will do that. I need to protect Oliver.”

She felt a tear rolling down her cheek and quickly wiped it away. Her head was pounding already. She couldn’t have that. It was only increasing the feeling of dizziness and exhaustion.

Robert put his hand to her head and stroked it over his head. It was the fatherliest gesture Felicity had every experienced. She felted comforted and protected at the same time. Kids growing up with their fathers doing something like that for them were certainly really lucky.

“Nothing you can do will spare Oliver any pain,” Robert told her gently, “because he will love you no matter what.”

Wasn’t that what everyone wanted? To be loved by someone no matter what?

Felicity shook her head. “He shouldn’t.”

“But he will nonetheless, Felicity. Nothing you do will make his loss mean any less. Nothing you do will make this easier for him. Besides, Oliver makes his own decisions which, if I remember correctly, you told me a couple of seconds ago, so you should know better than to make a decision for him. Besides, in all of this, we are always talking about Oliver, but there are two people in this as it should be in any good relationship. So, Felicity, what do you want?”

Another tear fell from Felicity’s eye. A lot more followed. Felicity let her face sink into her hand and sobbed.

Robert was right. Nothing she could do was going to prevent Oliver from going through unbelievable pain. Nothing she could do was going to prevent him from feeling as lost as he had left after Thea’s death. Nothing she could do was going to take his pain away from her. No matter how much she wanted it.

Soothingly, Robert rubbed his hand up and down Felicity’s spine. He didn’t say a word. He just sat there and waited for her to say anything once she was ready. It was exactly what she needed because she couldn’t say or hear anything for now.

She loved Oliver so much. She loved the idea of getting a chance at exploring what could be between them. She knew that it might not necessarily be the fairytale-like love she was envisioning in her wildest dreams. Still, it might be something good or even something great.

If she pushed Oliver away and neve really gave it a try, she would never know. She would die, not knowing if the man who had grown into be her best friend so easily might have actually been the love of her short life.

Felicity just wasn’t sure if she really wanted to try it. She wasn’t sure what would change within her if she discovered that she had found love so close before it was over. She didn’t really know anything other than that she almost hoped that it was going to be over soon.

She really wanted things to be over. She wanted her life to be over.

As if Robert knew what Felicity was thinking – maybe the particularly loud sob that fell from her lips gave her away – he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her against his chest. As soon as Felicity’s head sank against his shoulder, Robert tightened his arms around her and rested his chin on top of her head. His lips pressed down on the crown of it gently before his chin was resting back there again.

“I know life is forcing you through a hard decision,” he whispered eventually, rocking her from one side to the other like a toddler you were trying to sing to sleep, “and it’s not fair. Nobody should be urged to make this kind of decision, especially at your age. I know that you are stronger than most people though, and I know that you will make the right decision eventually. You will make the decision that you know is best for you because, although it’s scary, it’s the thing you need to do. You owe it to yourself.”

Robert put his hands to her cheeks, cradling her face in his gentle touch and angled her head back until she was looking at him. Through the tears in her eyes, she was looking at him. The expression in Robert’s eyes was still comforting and soothing, but it did little to calm the hurricane of emotions wrecking through her right now.

“You have to make the decision that you know is best for you,” he repeated once more, “because it’s what you need to do. You owe yourself some happiness, and Oliver owes himself to really let himself fall into love, no matter how badly it will hurt eventually.”

Maybe Robert was right, but maybe he was wrong. Fact was that Felicity couldn’t tell. She had no idea what was right or wrong anymore. How could she?

“You have to make this decision though,” Robert told her, “I can’t make it for you, and I won’t. I will leave you alone to make your decision, waiting in the car all day if necessary. I don’t have any appointments, so please don’t feel urged to hurry with your decision. I have got a great book with me to read until you have made your decision.”

Robert angled his head brushed his lips against Felicity’s temple. When he pulled back, he looked at her urgently, making sure that Felicity knew that he was serious. He was going to wait all day, longer if necessary. Then he left her alone, leaving her behind to make her decision.

However long it took.

 * * *

 The knuckles of his hands as well as the muscles of his shoulders were aching – even more so, they were screaming in pain – from exhaustion. Fine drops of sweat were running down Oliver’s forehead, dropping from his eyebrows into his eyes. It clouded his view and made his eyes burn, but he tried to fight it.

Since he had left the hospital last night, Oliver was going back and forth between beating himself up for telling Felicity what he was feeling for her and convincing himself that going to the hospital and shake her until she realized that she wasn’t protecting him. Oliver knew that trying to protect him was the reason she had told him to leave. She didn’t want him to suffer.

He’d suffer either way though. Felicity just didn’t see that.

In an uncareful moment, when Oliver lunged out particularly far, John dropped the boxing pad. Oliver knew he was going to fight back now and hurried to hit his fist right into his friend’s shoulder. John was quicker though. He ducked away from Oliver’s punch and took a step towards him, putting Oliver’s head in a headlock.

“Okay, okay,” Oliver said, lifting his hands in defeat, because he knew that he couldn’t possibly win against John at this point, “I surrender.”

John didn’t have to be told twice, so he let go of Oliver, who quickly distanced himself from his friend. He took three steps back on the training mat, already opening the hook and loop fasteners of his boxing gloves with his teeth. As soon as he could, he shook the gloves off his hands and let them drop to the ground.

“Water?”

Oliver nodded his head and quickly lifted his hand, just in time to catch the bottle of water that was tossed right at him. The bottle landed against the palm of his hand, so he could quickly wrap his fingers around it. He opened the bottle and took some well-needed gulps of the cool liquid.

When Oliver closed the bottle again, he realized that John was almost staring at him. At least his eyes were focused on him intently, and there was a scrutinizing expression in his eyes.

“What?”

Oliver knew John well enough to know that he had something to say to him. He was sure that he didn’t want to hear it, but he had to ask either way. If John didn’t tell him what he was thinking now, he would continue looking at him like that for the rest of the day, probably even longer.

“How are you feeling with all of this?”

“All of what?”

Oliver knew that he sounded pissed which wasn’t fair to John, who was certainly just honestly interested in hearing what Oliver was thinking and feeling. He was his friend after all. Still, Oliver couldn’t help himself.

“Being engaged to Felicity. Seeing her cramp so badly after that. The fact she has been in the hospital ever since.”

Three things Oliver really didn’t talk about right now. His engagement to Felicity felt like it was over before they had gotten a real chance of celebrating it. The moments of seeing her cramp still haunted him in his dreams. That she had been in the hospital ever since didn’t sit well with him, but he knew it was only giving him a taste of what his future without her would look like. Because of the way he had pushed the boundaries of their friendship – or maybe because she was too scared to give them a try – he was losing her sooner than he had expected her to.

Oliver couldn’t and didn’t want to talk about any of that. That was why he just shrugged his shoulders. Then he turned away and tried to busy himself with the hem of his shirt as the lose thread there seemed to be the only barely interesting thing there was.

All morning, he had gone back and forth between whether or not he should go to the hospital and talk to her once more. He had considered taking his words back, but he knew it would be a lie. The truth – his feelings for Felicity and his wish to have a future, however short it might be – was finally out there. Taking it back was only going to be a lie, and he wouldn’t lie.

The rising of his heckles told Oliver that, as much as he tried to make this subject seem finished, it wasn’t finished for John. His friend was looking right through his façade, and he wanted him to say more about this. He wanted him to say the truth about how he was feeling.

As little as Oliver was willing to give in to that, he knew that he didn’t really have a choice. John would make him talk one way or the other. The sooner he gave in, the sooner he could try to move on from this conversation.

“I told Felicity that I loved her and that I wanted to be together.” Oliver continued to stare at the lose thread like it was a lifesaving thing. “She rejected any real conversation because she thinks that her sickness should stop us or me for that matter and told me to go.”

“And you went?”

There wasn’t really a reproach in John’s voice, but Oliver felt like it was one after all. With anger in his eyes, he turned around and looked at his friend.

“She is sick, John.” He said the words with emphasis like saying them should be enough there was. “She is sick. She is still recovering from her latest setback. She needs rest. If she tells me to go, I go.”

“Probably a wise decision.”

Oliver had known that John wouldn’t reproach him for leaving since he knew how much courage it must have cost him to tell Felicity that he loved her. Maybe he would convince him that he should go back now, but he agreed that leaving hadn’t been an act of cowardice or anything like that. It had been a decision to spare Felicity’s energy.

That John wasn’t condemning his actions made Oliver a little more willing to talk about this. He knew he could talk to John when he couldn’t talk to anyone else. His parents might not know it yet, but they were still quite busy processing Felicity’s sickness. It was reminding them of Thea’s death although they hadn’t gotten any time to process that it was going to come.

“I know that Felicity is sick and I know that it makes things difficult,” Oliver replied with a low sigh in his voice, “but that shouldn’t stop us. We have so little time left that we should use it. Besides, if Felicity is feeling anything like I am, she can’t push those feelings aside forever.”

She just couldn’t. Oliver had gotten distracted from his feelings after Thea had died, but he had never really been able to push them away. If Felicity felt a fraction of what he was feeling for her, she wouldn’t be able to hide from her feelings or run from them.

“Do you think she has feelings for you?”

He could taste the little, hopeful word yes on the tip of his tongue. He wanted to believe that Felicity loved him as much as he loved her. It would break his heart if it was any different because he and Felicity had almost always been on the same side.

There had been a time when Oliver had been almost sure that he and Felicity were feeling the same way for each other. There had been those almost magical moments. All it would have required for them to kiss was for either of them to gather their courage and make the first move. It would have been as natural as breathing.

A lot had happened since then though. Oliver had changed a lot, and Felicity had certainly seen him at his worst and weakest. He couldn’t count the number of times she had found him completely drunk and helped him to get into bed. She had held his head and rubbed his back when he had needed to throw up, and she had held him when he had cried like a baby.

“I don’t know.” Oliver lowered his eyes to his feet and shrugged his shoulders once more. “Five years ago, I could have sworn that she was falling in love with me too, but she had seen so many sides of me. She has seen so many dark sides of me. So much times has passed. Maybe… I don’t know. Maybe too much has happened.”

It was a thought that would probably never leave him. For the rest of his life, Oliver knew he was going to ask him if he and Felicity had been destined to be together and life had just decided to open a war against destiny. Whatever higher powers there were had decided to fight against everything that had made his and Felicity’s paths cross and just do everything in their power to keep them apart.

It was sappy and almost a little poetic which really wasn’t Oliver’s usual style, but he couldn’t help himself. Apparently, fearing this loss was making everything worse.

The low sound of a throat being cleared came from behind him. Oliver didn’t have to turn around to know who it was. He would recognize her and every sound she made instantly. If he hadn’t been so wrapped up in his thoughts, he would have noticed she was there even without hearing her.

When Oliver turned around now, he saw Felicity standing close to the door. Her face looked white except from the dark rings under her eyes. There was a nervous expression in them, but it was clouded by the exhaustion there. She was holding her hands in front of her stomach. Her right hand was holding the left one, her thumb massaging the palm of her hand although she probably couldn’t fell any of it.

Oliver knew that he was staring at her. He couldn’t help himself though. He hadn’t been sure if he got to see her ever again in this life.

“You’re here.”

It was a stupid thing to say because it was obvious that she was here. Still, he didn’t know what else to say.

Felicity shrugged her shoulder. “Your dad convinced me that I should come here.”

Instead of going into a hospice. The words stayed unsaid, but they lingered in the room between them. Felicity had given up on life. That was why she didn’t want to give love a chance now, and that was also why she wanted to go to a house that was the last stop of sick people.

“He asked me to come to the mansion, I mean,” Felicity added eventually and fumbled with her hand nervously, “and I guessed you would be in here, so I decided to go upstairs and… check if I was right.”

Of course she was right. She knew him so well that she would always know where to find him. It shouldn’t be surprising. They had that kind of connection.

There was another thought popping up in his head though. Felicity had been actively looking for him which probably meant that she wanted to talk to him. He hoped that it was a good sign, but he didn’t want to be too hopeful.

“Is that safe?”

It was John asking the question, and Oliver couldn’t be more relieved. He wasn’t sure that he would have found the courage to ask because he was too afraid about the answer.

Again, Felicity shrugged her shoulder, before she replied, “Those seizures can happen more often now, but the doc said it was okay for me to leave. I got a medicament that is supposed to prevent these, but it’s not like it will work a hundred percent. These seizures can happen nonetheless.”

Nothing was really safe the way it was. This tumor was unpredictable, except for the fact that it was going to kill her.

John crossed the room and wrapped his arms around Felicity. Between his trunk-like biceps and against his broad chest, she looked even tinier than she was. She seemed to enjoy being in John’s arms though because she closed her eyes with a low sigh of content and snuggled into the hug.

She looked comfortable like that. Oliver could see that easily. She was so close to John that just this hug alone was making her feel a little bit better. Unsurprisingly, it made Oliver felt better too.

When John let go of her eventually, he smiled gently. “I should go.”

He said it to her, but it was clear that it was meant as a statement to both of them. They should get a chance to talk to each other. As long as he was there, they couldn’t do that. John knew that as well as Oliver and Felicity knew it, too.

John put his hands to Felicity’s shoulders and looked at her intensely. He released a long sigh then. A deep furrow formed between his eyebrows, telling Oliver that John had been quite worried about Felicity too. For Oliver’s sake, he had done his best to hide it though.

“I am glad that you are okay because you scared the hell out of me there for a moment.” He leaned over and brushed his lips against her cheek. “Keep your chin up.”

Felicity shot him a brief smile. John squeezed her shoulders in response. Shooting only a brief, but all the more meaningful glance towards Oliver, John eventually left.

Although Oliver knew what John had meant to say with that last glance, Oliver had trouble to act accordingly. All he could do was standing there like a complete idiot, watching Felicity, while she was looking at her feet. Just like he himself, she seemed to try gathering the courage she needed to talk to him.

When she lifted her gaze eventually, she sucked in a deep breath. She didn’t look particularly uncomfortable, but it still took a lot form her.

“Can we please sit down?”

Oliver was surprised that Felicity asked it, or maybe he wasn’t. He wasn’t sure. Given how exhausted she looked, he guessed that he shouldn’t have been surprised about it though.

“Sure.”

Massaging the back of his neck nervously, Oliver looked around. There wasn’t really anything to sit down and talk comfortably. Maybe they could sit down on the training bench and-

His thoughts came to a sudden stop when Felicity made a much easier decision. She simply sat down on the training mats, cross-legged and with her hands in her lap. Her gaze was lowered to her hands again. Only now Oliver realized that her eyes weren’t just glued to her fingers. They were glues to the engagement ring she was still wearing. She was still wearing it.

Carefully, Oliver sat down across from her. He mirrored her position, crossing his legs and keeping his hands in his lap. He looked down at his hand. Not for the first time, he wondered how his hand would look with a wedding band around his ring finger. He was certainly going to like it since it was going to remind him of the eternal connection he had made with Felicity.

Oliver could only hope that he would get a chance at making this connection with Felicity. He knew it was a fade hope, but he still had it.

“I am sorry for reacting the way that I did.”

Surprised by her apology, Oliver lifted his gaze. Felicity looked hones though. She was really feeling sorry that she had reacted the way that she had.

“I am sorry too,” he said, swallowing all the words of love that threatened to fell from his lips again, “because I know that I ambushed you with this, and I shouldn’t have done that. Given how you were still recovering from-“

“No.” Felicity shook her head firmly. “I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did. It was harsh and unfair and a million other things that I can’t even describe right now. I know that I shouldn’t have said what I said, especially with that firmness and-“

“If that is what you feel, it was better that you told me because-“

“I don’t know what I feel.”

She was almost breathless saying that as the words had just fallen from her lips so quickly. Her cheeks turned red at the way she was looking at him, and she lowered her gaze quickly.

Oliver just watched her for a long moment. He wanted to give her time, making her know that it was okay if she couldn’t say what she was feeling because she really didn’t know. It was okay not to know, and it was okay that this conversation wasn’t easy for her.

As much as Oliver tried to keep his thoughts straight, they were spinning. Felicity didn’t know what she was feeling. Although it wasn’t what he had hoped to hear from her, it was still better than the way they had left the last time. There was a tiny little bit of hope that maybe she was feeling for him the way he was feeling for her too.

“The problem is that I feel so detached from the future,” Felicity whispered eventually, the highness of her voice telling Oliver that she was close to tears even before she lifted her gaze to look at him with glassy eyes, “because I know that I don’t really have any, at least not a long one.”

It wasn’t easy on her. Oliver had always known that it couldn’t be easy on her, but now was the first time that he could really see her struggling with it. She had always done her best to hide her feelings, trying to make it seem like she had processed her impending death already. Now, for the first time since she had told him about her sickness, she was letting her guard down. That she was doing that in front of him meant a lot to Oliver because it was saying a lot about how much she trusted him.

There was a not-so-small part in Oliver that wanted to tell her how he was feeling for her again, so she knew that she did have a future with him. He knew better than that though. Her eyes told him that she was so very tired and incredibly insecure about all of this. She didn’t know what she was feeling, and she wasn’t ready to discover it now.

Since she didn’t know what she was feeling and Oliver didn’t want to push her for that, he thought about something else. He focused on the fear and the real emotions in her eyes. Although he could see it in her eyes, Oliver still needed to hear the words from her. He and Felicity had been through so much, and they had always been honest to each other. They should be honest to each other now too.

“Are you scared?”

It shouldn’t have been as much of a question was it was, but Oliver knew it was better than confronting her with the fact that he knew that she was scared. She might react to his words with rejection, unwilling to let anyone see how she really felt.

When Felicity’s eyes met his, she released along sigh. Her shoulders slumped slightly and her fingers laced together. She lowered her eyes to her fingers once more, taking her time to decide on an answer.

“Death can’t hurt me more than having cancer does,” Felicity whispered eventually, lifting he gaze towards him once more, “it really can’t.”

Oliver could see in Felicity’s eyes that she was being honest here. In her mind, nothing could possible be worse than that. For her, cancer was her worst enemy.

She had been seven years old when she had had cancer the first time, and she had suffered badly from it. She had spent a lot of her childhood in the hospital, away from other kids of her age. Cancer has driven her into the position of a weirdo because she hadn’t been like the usual kids her age. She never had been, Oliver guessed, but cancer had certainly made it worse.

Oliver reached out his hand and grabbed her right hand. He laced his fingers through hers and pulled her hand into his lap. Felicity lifted her gaze, locking her eyes with his. There was an expression of helplessness in there, the same helplessness that had been his companion in the last weeks.

“I don’t want to prolong my suffer,” Felicity whispered, her fingers holding onto Oliver’s fingers a little bit more tightly, “because I know it will only get worse. Really, I am more afraid of what other symptoms will show up than about dying. Is that crazy?”

Without hesitating, Oliver shook his head. “No, of course not. Nothing you feel about the situation you are in could be crazy. You have a right to all of your feelings, and nobody should be allowed to tell you otherwise.”

Felicity smiled in silent gratitude. The smile was more in her eyes than it was on her lips. Oliver could see it nonetheless, though. Since the smile had been barely more than a glimpse, it disappeared before Oliver could find some comfort in it. It was his turn to smile at Felicity comfortingly.

“I’m scared of what comes next,” Felicity whispered, her voice so low now that Oliver barely dared to breathe, “and I am afraid of what will happen to the people I leave behind. There aren’t too many because my mom is dead, and I couldn’t care less about my father, but you and your parents… I-”

When tears ran down her cheeks, Oliver tugged at Felicity’s hand. She hesitated only briefly before she crawled over and sat down in his lap with her legs wrapped around his hips and her right arm wrapped around his neck. Her chest was pressed so close to his that Oliver could feel the wild beating of her heart. With a low sob, she dropped her head to his shoulder and hid her face in the crook of his neck.

Oliver wrapped his arms around Felicity’s trembling body quickly. He held her as close to him as possible, closing his eyes with long sigh. He angled his head a little, pressing his nose against her shoulder and breathing her in. He couldn’t even say how much he had missed Felicity these last hours. Holding her like this made him feel safe and comforted, and he hoped it was the same for her.

“We are going to miss you like hell,” Oliver whispered, his arms tightening around her once more, “I am going to miss you like hell.”

He felt his throat burning and his chest tightening at admitting this. Swallowing all the words of how he was really feeling had always felt and maybe even been easier. As hard as it was talking about it now, especially to Felicity, he already felt that it was the right thing to do. It was long overdue.

Sucking in a deep breath, he took all of his courage to say the next words. Since he knew how important it was that Felicity heard these words and believed them, he pulled back slightly. He put both of his hands to Felicity’s cheeks, framing her face with his hands gently, and looked at her intently.

“Felicity, you are the only one who is important right now though. It doesn’t matter how it will affect my mom or my dad or even me. We will cope with it if we know that you felt safe and taken care of during your last weeks. You shouldn’t feel alone because you are not alone.”

Oliver could almost see the words sinking in with Felicity. The soft trembles that made her body shake slightly ebbed away slowly. Her eyes found more focus. The uncalm expression in his eyes calmed down.

Tears were still running down her cheeks and with another low sob, Felicity rested her forehead against Oliver’s. The tip of her nose bumped against his. Her breath was ghosting over his chin. Her lips were barely a breath away. He could almost taste them already. It made goosebumps spread all the way down his back, and the small hairs on his forearms rose.

It was so easy to just lean in and capture Felicity’s lips with his. He thought back to their moment in the library when being silly had led to him kissing her. It had felt so good and so right. Oliver would love to experience that again.

Now was just not the time since Felicity was crying. If he kissed her now, she would probably give into it, but it would be ambushing her. He didn’t want that. Life was ambushing her already, so he shouldn’t be doing the same thing. Their timing was just bad which shouldn’t be surprising. He and Felicity really had bad timing it seemed. It had felt like he had thought about that now wasn’t the time for anything important too many times in the last weeks.

“Are you coming home now?”

Without pulling away, Felicity nodded her head. She was going to stay. She was going to stay here. She was staying with him.

“Can I continue making your wishes come true?”

Again, Felicity nodded her head before she leaned it against his forehead even more firmly. She moved her face slightly, causing her nose to rub against his in the best way possible. Oliver put his hand to the back of her head, combing her hair with his fingers gently.

He loved her so much, and she’d make all of her dreams come true if she just let him.

Before Oliver could say anything more, Felicity suddenly stiffened slightly. He was about to ask her what was wrong, worried that she was feeling unwell, but Felicity pulled away quickly. For a second, Oliver fears that she was moving away from him completely. Instead, she just pulled away enough, so she could look at him through the tears in her eyes.

Taking in rushed and quick breathes, she wiped the tears from her cheeks with her right hand. Oliver could see that she was trying to get a hold on herself. Knowing that she needed help with that, he put both of his hands to her cheeks and looked at her intensely. As soon as her focus was on him, Oliver took in a deep breath and Felicity followed suit.

They breathed together like this several times. He could see Felicity calming down and getting a handle on herself, and he felt the same effects on himself too. His heartbeat slowed down. Oxygen flowed through his veins.

“I-“ Felicity’s voice was hoarse, so she stopped and cleared it quickly. “I wrote into the book that I wanted to meet my dad, right?”

Oliver nodded his head slowly, unsure where this was going. He guessed that it was the one wish that she didn’t want to be fulfilled because it wasn’t really a wish for her anymore. She was no little girl, wondering why her daddy had left her. Maybe she still wondered and maybe it still made her feel like she was a little girl, but she knew that it wasn’t her fault that her father had left. That was why she could live without ever seeing or talking to him again.

“I think that wish already came true.”

Frowning, Oliver tugged a strand of hair that was clutched to Felicity’s wet cheek out of her face. His fingers bushed against her tender skin after that, and Felicity leaned her face into his touch with a long sigh of content.

“Today, I realized that, though I will never see my dad again, that’s just not that bad because I have found a new dad in yours. Robert is… he’s not my dad, but he is as the best father-figure I could have hoped for. Is that weird?”

“No.” Oliver didn’t hesitate. He shook his head firmly. “No, that’s not weird at all.”

Felicity was right indeed. Robert was certainly a good father-figure. Oliver had probably complained a lot about his dad when he had been a child or a teenager, but he knew now that he could have had a much worse dad. At least his dad loved him and he cared about him.

He also cared about Felicity.

“Everything that’s mine is yours,” Oliver told Felicity with soft voice, earning him a little smile, “including my dad.”

Felicity dropped her head back against his forehead and closed her eyes once more. A long sigh fell from her lips, and she moved the tips of her finger through the short hair at the back of his head, just letting all of this sink in.

Just like he had said, Oliver knew that everything that was his was indeed Felicity’s too – whether it was his home, his dad or his heart. Everything that he had or would ever have was going to be Felicity’s too.

 * * *

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