#if they do we'll get the same quality as the movie

[courtesanofdeath]

now studio pierrot got no choice but to get to work

[prentissluvr]

OKAY HERE ARE SOME SAM THOUGHTS BEFORE I CLEAN MY ROOM (some platonic but mostly romantic)

loves getting his hair played with (romantically and platonically)

main love language is quality time

could have this giant on his knees if you compliment constantly (his looks or his personality) (mainly his personality) (he knows and is aware of how conventionally attractive he is but isn’t cocky about it) (like another winchester LOL)

runs warmer than the average human being so he’s your personal heater in the winter

but in the summer you make sure he stays far away from you bc man sweats A LOT in his sleep 😭😭

I HAVE MORE BUT I GOTTA CLEAN MY ROOM

ILL BE BACK LATER WITH DEAN AND MORE SAM 🤭🤭

djhJHFSKDJ SAMMMMM AAA okay okay bear with me while i go absolutely insane LMAO. like this is long LOL so i am gonna add a cw for anyone who stumbles upon our time of feeding each others delusions <3 i got carried away ahahahaha hehehehehe i'm normal about him tho!

wc: 1.6K. cw: kissing, a bit of swearing, brief mention of things trying to kill you bc that's the life lol, unedited

⟢ playing with his hair : do NOT get me started on sam's hair <3 it's always so pretty, and you have to make that known! sure, you do it out loud, but we'll get to the complimenting in a bit hehe. your favorite way of making it known (and definitely his) is by playing with it. constantly. and he can never get enough. sure, he gets embarrassed or picky about it around dean, like he does with just about anything romantic or sweet (mostly because dean won't ever let that sort of thing go un-teased). but he just loves so much to lay his head in your lap and let you thread your fingers through that pretty brown hair <33 it makes him feel so relaxed, and cared for in a way that doesn't feel overbearing or overly obvious.

and he loves it especially it because he knows that you do. he can feel you physically relax from under him when you sweetly run your hands through his hair, gently pulling apart any small knots and taking your time to take care of that gorgeous head of hair. he will also certainly melt and try to hide the pink tint to his cheeks when you reach for his hair unexpectedly, like when you lean in to fix a fly-away strand or full on card your hands through his hair when he's in the middle of research and didn't notice you approach.

also!! put your hands in his hair when he's kissing you!!! please!!! he's begging on his knees!!! god, he loves that so so much and he gets a secret ego boost because, once again, he can physically feel how much you love it too. he'll always kiss you harder when your hands move to tangle themselves in his hair.

gets embarrassed if you put little braids in his hair, especially as he grows older and it grows longer, but he can't resist how much it makes you smile, so he lets you get away with it if dean isn't around. and just imagine putting pretty clips in his hair LOL he pouts and asks you to take them out immediately, but not before kissing the smug grin off of your lips. will die and try his hardest to delete them if you ever get pictures of him like that, but you keep your blackmail well protected hehe.

as for platonically, that is facts! he thinks its very sweet if you're his best friend or sibling! it's not as big a thing as it would be in a romantic relationship, but he'll love to have his hair played with by anyone willing <33

⟢ love language; quality time : this is like almost sad and especially sweet at the same time because the poor boy has no time to spend much quality time with you. but again, this kind of makes this whole thing sweeter because that means each moment is just that much more precious. obviously, he'd love to be spending quality time with you by going on dates in the park, taking you to a nice restaurant that's not too stuffy, or something even as simple as taking you to the movies. but those things are hard to do, so to him, any time spent with you without the presence of something trying to kill you can be turned into that precious quality time.

for him, it's about sitting on the couch with your legs strewn over him or his head on your lap or yours on his shoulder (really any sort of thing keeping him connected to you) as you pour over lore books. it's about the seamless exchange when the two of you figure out how to kill your monster or save the world together. it's about posing as fbi to get answers and slipping his hand into yours when no one's looking or grabbing a decent breakfast together before the start of a busy day. all he cares about, the things he treasures, are you falling asleep on him in the back of the impala because he gave up shotgun to sit next to you, taking months, maybe longer to get through one season of a tv show together, and always taking even just a small moment out of a busy day to be together.

⟢ complimenting him : it's true that he needs less assurance about his looks because he certainly is aware that he is fine as fuck. but let's definitely establish that he adores to hear praise about his looks specifically from you because duh! he's in love with you and you're the only one he cares about!!

but yeah, when you compliment his personality, his sweet, loving, courageous hot sometimes completely idiotic and frustrating self?? oh he's done for. he's honestly far less used to that. when you're half asleep, and you murmur into his chest that you think he's so smart, kind, funny, loving, and brave and that you couldn't be more proud to be his? he's complete mush in your arms, he can't believe it.

"that's all you, baby," he'll refute, and you'll certainly grow bashful under his compliment, but you want him to accept it, at least a little bit. "i mean it, sammy, i really do." your voice is all soft and sleepy, and oh so earnest that he can't help the aching of his heart. "i know you do," he'll whisper, suddenly emotional and not wanting you to hear it. "i'm just glad you think so. i'll always do my best to be those things for you," and that's the kind of thing he only admits when the sole light in the room comes from a dim, clouded over moon and your head is tucked under his chin so you can't see his face. he means it, of course, but he's not used to such vulnerability and blatant adoration.

he'll clench his jaw when you tell him you know that, but that it's true that he's all those things and more for so many people, the few close ones, and all the ones he passes by and does his best to save. he doesn't fully believe you, he's got a lot of guilt built up in that sweet mind of his. and it's true he's not perfect, but you never said that. all you're trying to tell him is that you love who he is, so much, and he can never thank you enough for that.

bonus, he really really loves when you tell him you think he's funny. it's definitely an ego booster, plus he loves loves loves to know that he can always make you smile and laugh.

⟢ your personal heater : this is literally sooo true. he's so big with so much body mass that he'd have so much body heat to give off. but i so agree that on top of that, he'd also totally be on the warmer side. if you're naturally warm as well, then you two are an unstoppable force in the winter time (the both of you are lulled to sleep by the other's body heat in a matter of minutes). either way, he'll always envelope you in hugs when it gets cold because he knows it'll warm you up right away. he doesn't have to ask to know when you're cold, because you'll always press yourself to him, maybe grabbing his arm and pulling it around yourself before even saying a thing to him.

"you cold?" he'll ask sweetly, and after feeling your nod and hearing your muffled "mhmm," he's quick to wrap his other arm around you too and pull you closer.

for the folks with cold hands like me, he's always trying to warm them up with his own. whether you've slipped your hand in to his just to be near and they're particularly chilly, or he can see you trying to warm your hands up yourself, he's quick to take up both of your hands in his to warm them up. when he grabs up both of your hands, he'll pull them to his chest and hold them there until he's satisfied they're warm. he'll look into your eyes and talk about something completely unrelated, all casual as if he's not making you flustered. other times, he'll warm up one hand at a time, encasing it in both of his own, rubbing it and blowing warm air on it before gently slipping it into his warm, warm pockets and moving on to the other.

also, if he finds out your face is cold, he'll cup your cheeks with his large, furnace hands or full on just pull your face into his head or neck to warm you up that way.

but yeah😭😭 summer can be a lot less pleasant. if you manage to have cold hands even in the summer (i could never i wish), he'll try to steal the coolness from your hands and you'll be like oh my god please stop i'll die LOL.

and you're like nooo babe of course i want to sleep with you, you just have to stay as far away as possible and never touch me because it might burn me to death. if he's tired and touch-starved younger sam will pout at you and tell you he just wants to cuddle. later seasons sam just won't take no for an answer and will just pull you to him until he gets too hot himself lmao. he'll make sure there's a fan on you first and a glass of ice water on your bedside. basically he loves that he's warm in the winter because it brings you closer to him, then gets pissed about it in the summer because you don't want him too close unless there's sufficient a/c or some other form of ventilation to make it cooler lol.

[bugeyedfreaks]

THE CITY OF TOWNSVILLE: PPG SEASON FIVE

Some notes:

Not much variety here, and I was surprised that so many of the episodes use the exact same City of Townsville opening image (looks like there're two that look pretty close to each other getting reused a lot)! Maybe to save money (valid, but still...)? Despite the skyline design being a lot more visually complex now thanks to the movie, the overuse of that one design just makes it feel so boring and monotonous (almost reflecting the quality of the show dipping in this season).

I don't know if I have a favorite from this bunch but I do like Keen on Keane's construction paper design. Very cute!

...yeah, what else is there to say about these? I forsee S6 having a similar pattern, but I also could be wrong. We'll find out soon!

[jq37]

Seeing you describe your opinion on Wish (the movie itself) as "def do have oh boy" just has me curious now. What is it?

OK, so I let this sit in my inbox for a while because I planned to see Wish and I figured that it would be more fair to wait until I had a full picture of what the movie was before I started talking about it and...yeahhhhhhh having seen it my opinion has not changed. It's just intensified. 

MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW (lol, this got past 7k words)

And, fair warning, it's pretty critical so if you don't want to read something critical about this movie then this is your exit.

tl;dr: I think the movie Wish fails at basically everything it sets out to do and it's an absolutely awful 100th Anniversary movie for Disney. 

When I say it fails at everything, I mean EVERYTHING*. I'm going to break this into sections for organizational purposes. 

*The one thing I'll give it a slight pass on is the art style which I don't love but also wasn't like make or break for me. I would have preferred true 2D or a better implementation of the blended 2D/3D style, but if the movie was otherwise of the quality of something like Spiderverse or Puss in Boots, the animation wouldn't have bothered me. Like, I watched S1 of The Dragon Prince with no problem. I can forgive janky animation--and it wasn't even super janky. Just odd. What I can't forgive is literally everything else about the movie. 

Characters

How is this movie so full of characters and yet devoid of characters that matter? There are a million characters in this movie and basically only two of them matter: The King and Asha. But neither of them are compelling in any meaningful way.

There's a lot of to do about the last batch of Disney protags being very same-y in a quirky, all fluff and no substance way and I don't really buy into that. I don't think that Raps, Anna, Moana, and Mirabel are palate swapped carbon copies of each other. They have unique backgrounds and struggles and motivations. I feel like they're all quirky, sure. But they all also have an identity BEYOND being quirky. 

I do NOT get that with Asha. I don't feel like I have a good idea of what makes her tick at all. Like, she's kind. She wants her grandpa to get his wish. She wants to be the King's apprentice so she can help people. The queen (we'll get to her) exposits to us that she cares about people. But being kind isn't in itself an entire personality. The way Mulan is kind (defying the law to spare her father the ravages of war in his old age) isn't the same way as the way Cinderella is kind (making clothes for her mouse friends and protecting them from the cat). Asha just has a generalized want to help people, which is an admirable trait, but doesn't give us much to latch onto. It's so telling to me that in a movie called "Wish" our main character's wish is just, "To have more than just this" And yes, Disney princesses wanting "more" is literally their whole thing, but it's always more specific than that. Mirabel wants to prove herself to her family. Rapunzel wants to experience life beyond her tower. Even Snow White--the Disney princess with the flimsiest story--wants to find her true love. That's a concrete motivation! Asha doesn't feel real to me as a character. It feels like the thing that drives her is that the plot needs to happen and that's it. 

The other important character in the movie is King Magnifico who was supposed to be a return to form for Disney in introducing another classic villain but he just fails at that so hard. The idea that he could stand toe to toe with any of the OGs like Lady Tremaine or Scar or even the latest villains like Dr. Facillier or Mother Gothel is laughable. He just doesn't have any gravitas. And his characterization is so odd. You can tell that they were trying to give him a "reasonable man doing unreasonable things for a good reason” backstory (both because of some images in the film and some stuff in interviews I read) but then they just...don't actually give the backstory? Like, they imply that the backstory exists but I don't remember them going into it at all. Which like, he doesn't NEED a tragic backstory. He can just be doing what he's doing because he's evil. Ursula didn't need a reason to want to rule the seas. She's just a boss bitch and she wants power. I don't need to dissect that any further. BUT if you tell me there’s a reason your villain is doing something, I need to see that reason. I don't understand why they would include that in the movie, just to do nothing with it. 

Beyond that, he's written in such a weird way. Like, despite the "maybe he has a point" angle they seem to want to go with, he's very obviously a self-absorbed ruler--like he'll say things like, "Yeah, I am super handsome" to his wife--which immediately dumps him into the camp villain category. But he's doing the controlling things he does in the movie of his own accord to get people to stick to the status quo he set up. Fine. That's a fine thing for a camp villain to be doing. But then, at a certain point in the movie, he just uses a forbidden magic evil book (which he has for some reason) that just fills him with evil, green magic and makes him 100% unhinged all of a sudden. And that's just...boring? Like, anything interesting you might have been able to do before that point about power and control and how sometimes you make a wrong choice with good intentions is just gone at that point. It sucks because there were a lot of right answers here. You could just make him evil because he's evil. That works. You could have him be seriously convinced that what he's doing is right and be willing to do whatever he needs to do to keep things that way. That works. You could say that he started out trying to be morally upright and then slid into enjoying the praise and control just a bit too much--and I think maybe that's what they were going for. But it does not come across that way. He just seems like a dick to the point where you're kinda questioning how he's pulling any of this off. Asha asks him one question and he flies off the handle. How does everyone not know he's an asshole if it takes so little to fluster him?

So I don't like our main hero or villain. But there are still SO MANY CHARACTERS in this movie. 

You've got Asha's SEVEN FRIENDS. Yes, SEVEN. they're based off of the seven dwarves, which is cute enough but do you know what happens when you give the hero seven sidekick characters? None of them get developed at all and you have to treat them like a unit. Only two of them matter at all--Dahlia (her best friend and the one who actually does more than just make dumb jokes or, worse, nothing at all) and Simon (the one who betrays them--more on that later). There is no story reason for them to have shoved in this many sidekicks. Especially since she also has…

Her animal sidekick, Valentino. Who is a very cute goat until he gets sprinkled with stardust and boom. He can talk. Which immediately made me like him less. Flounder he aint. The whole joke with him is that he's a baby goat with a rich, deep, baritone voice. That's it. Almost every joke he makes is either about that or his butt. Boo. 

Then, there's the Queen--Queen Amaya--who is such a NOTHING character. There's no effort made to build up her relationship with the king so that her flipping on him later has an emotional impact. I have no idea what she cares about or desires. When she shows up, she's basically acting like the king's secretary, which is weird. I don't think that's what a queen does. There's a moment during a later song when she joins the "revolution" and it just has zero impact because again, it's like, I don't know who you are in any significant way! She seems nice, and I would love to live somewhere ruled by someone boring and benign, but that makes for an awful movie character. 

I almost wrote "lastly, there's the star" because I totally forgot about Asha's mom and grandpa. They're in this movie too but even though Asha's whole motivation at the start of the movie is getting her grandpa's wish granted, we never get a good idea of what their relationship is. They have like, one quick scene at the top which tells us nothing, then they're in a crowd scene later, then Asha has dinner with them later the same day and that's it. And, again, we get nothing significant. Compared to something like Mulan where you have a good idea of what Mulan's relationship is with every member of her family by the time the military order comes in or Encanto where between the musical number at the top and the first group scene, you get an entire picture, this is really weak. Again, so weak that I completely forgot that they were even in this movie. 

And NOW lastly, there's the star. Who is like, cute enough but he really makes me annoyed because I've seen the original concepts and they would have been so much more interesting! That's the case for the queen too, so I'll talk about both of them together here. 

I am sorry to inform you if you didn't already know but the queen was originally supposed to be evil too.

She was supposed to be a part of an evil power couple with Magnifico and how dope would that have been? We've never gotten that from Disney before. Imagine! Disney Villain Song Duet! A Hot couples costume for next Halloween! An actual relationship that's developed in this movie! But nope. They unflavor-blasted her into the paper thin, placeholder of a character we have in the movie. 

And the Star went through a couple of concepts. One, was the spirit of her dead grandpa, taking a younger form, which isn't my fave one but it at least would give her a relationship with this person who is supposedly an important person in her life, something we don't have in the movie right now. My favorite alternate concept is that originally, the Star was supposed to be her celestial love interest. And listen, anyone who's followed me for long enough knows that I am a big advocate for platonic relationships and FRONTING platonic relationships. I don't think that a story needs a romantic relationship to be compelling and I think forcing one in almost always makes it worse. But there is NO central relationship in this movie to carry it. Asha has too many friends for any one of them to make a serious impact so it's not a friendship story. Her mom and grandpa are nothing characters, so it's not a family story. She interacts with the star a lot, but that's basically just her talking to herself because the start doesn’t talk. So nothing is really there to latch onto. If they'd decided to go with the romance angle, it would have forced them to focus on at least ONE relationship and it would have been a nice way to throwback to classic Disney movies from the past. Much better than just sticking her with SEVEN WHOLE USELESS FRIENDS. Literally, all they provide is backup vocals in the fight song. Special Dishonorable Mention to Gabo. Man I hate that dude. 

So, to recap this section, Asha's personality is only sketched out in the loosest possible way, King Magnifico is entirely half-baked, and there are so many side characters that no one can form meaningful relationships with each other. And it's really a shame because (1) they very easily could have pared down the cast and (2) very recently Disney put out Encanto which handles a large cast beautifully. There are a ton of Madrigals but I can tell you what the deal of each and every one is. This could have been done well and they fumbled so hard. 

Concept

OK, so next up is the general plot and concept. This story takes place in the city of Rosas which is ruled by King Magnifco. It is supposedly a paradise, but much like a YA dystopian novel, it has a twist: When you turn 18, Magnifico takes your wish away from you and puts in in his wish room with the promise that it might be granted at one of the monthly wish granting ceremonies. Once your wish is taken from you, you are "unburdened" and you're "free" from having to pursue it. You don't even remember what it was. 

There's a kernel of something interesting there. A ruler making his subjects docile, placid zombies that won't challenge him by taking away their ambition? That's interesting. People willingly giving away a part of their heart to dull the pain of trying and failing? Interesting. Someone doing this with no ill intent, but rather genuinely thinking that this half-existence is better than the heartbreak of the alternative? Interesting!

But the actual implementation of this idea? Ughhhhhh. 

So first off, just logistically, Magnifico grants one wish a month more or less (Asha says once a month and in his villain song, he said he granted 14 wishes "last year"). So like, realistically, most of these people have to know their wishes will never be granted, right? Because of like...how math works? Asha acts like it's a big shock when she learns that most wishes won't be granted but like girl...math. 

Secondly, there are two moments that are meant to imply that having your wish taken away turns you into a shell of yourself. Asha's friend (who betrays her) Simon is said to be all sleepy and more boring since he turned 18 and had his wish taken. And then, later in the movie, we see two new residents have their wishes taken, and they look a little disturbed after it happens. But, here's the thing. NO ONE ELSE IN THE MOVIE ACTS LIKE THAT. Asha's mom and grandpa act like normal people. So do all the other characters. It’s not consistent enough to establish that this is what’s on the line. Does taking your wish away make you a robot or not?

And does everyone just have one wish? I know I could fill a full sheet of paper, front and back, with things that matter very dearly to me. If you took away my wish to write for TV someday, that would still leave my wishes to travel the world and get a comic book adaptation of one of my novels and a whole lot of other things! Does taking your main wish away make you lose your ability to form new wishes? Logistically, how does any of this work? And you can't just say, "It's a metaphor. Don't think too hard about it," because there's a scene where the citizens start asking these questions. Like, "What happens if we have a new wish than from when we initially made it?" As if having unnamed side characters ask the questions first will alleviate the need to answer them. It's not lamp shading at that point. You're just being lazy. 

Also, this is more a me thinking about the implications too hard than an actual plot problem but if he's taking the wishes at 18 I feel like a lot of peoples' greatest desire at that stage in their life is, "I want a romantic partner." And if the central conceit of this premise is that once your wish is taken, you stop wanting to pursue it then the city of Rosas is gonna have a population Collapse problem very soon. 

The characters--especially Asha--get so emotional about wishes. It's like they're giving a My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic speech every time they talk about it (except MLP has MUCH better writing). It's bizarre to see Asha's mom get her wish back and be like, "Oh my wish. My precious wish!" when she doesn't act any differently than a normal person before or after she has it back (Sidenote: She says this and she's holding the wish ball but we never see what that wish is and that's maddening. Why do I know what the dream of every patron in the Snuggly Duckling is, but they didn't show that? Ridic.) It almost is like, being in contact with a wish ball is a quasi-religious experience that drives the characters’ actions (Asha and the King are both totally enraptured while singing together in the Wish Room), but because we, the audience, are very much not in contact with the wish balls, we're not getting ANY of that. 

Anyway, to recap this section: the central premise of how wishes work and how taking them affects people is not treated consistently or explained well, which makes the stakes feel very undefined and sloppy. 

Pacing

This has to be its own section, because it's the thing that baffled me most when I watched this movie. So, here's the setup. Asha is going to interview for the internship with the king. She wants to help people and she has the secondary motive of wanting to try and get her 100-year-old grandpa's wish granted because he's not getting any younger. 

Here is the entire sequence: Asha is led into the interview by Queen Amaya. Asha is awkward but makes a good enough first impression that Magnifico is moved to show her the wish room (for some reason). They sing a duet about the wishes where they’re both dazzled by the Wish balls. During the song, Asha finds her Grandpa's wish and after the song, she asks him to grant it. He looks at the wish and says while she has good intentions, it's too dangerous to grant--as are most wishes. She asks why not give them back then and he immediately flies off the handle and starts ranting about how HE decides which wishes get granted and what everyone deserves! 

Their first meeting and him showing his true colors happens in the SAME SCENE. It's like 7-10 minutes and they just RUSH through all of that. And it's like, why? Did they really need to get to that dumbass star song (we'll get to that) faster? 

I know that he isn't a twist villain so we don't need to keep the fact that he’s the bad guy under wraps. And, the way the story is structured, she needs to learn what he's doing before she can rebel against him. But it's not gonna be a big, impactful moment if you're rushing from beat to beat like this is an essay that's due in twenty minutes and you started five minutes ago. 

And it really makes you wonder, if Asha can blow the whole lid off this conspiracy within ten minutes of meeting this guy, why is this not happening more often? Between how obviously smarmy the King is, how paltry the wish granting system is, and how easily Asha was able to start asking questions and get him to blow his top (something that happens again later when the citizens start asking question–it literally drives him into his villain song) I don't believe that this wouldn't have happened earlier (Sidenote: Finding out that it HAD happened earlier and that Asha is the latest in a line of failed apprentices who questioned him? More interesting premise). 

So to recap: I have no idea why this movie is paced like this but it's not doing it any favors. 

Humor

Humor is very subjective so you can take this with a huge grain of salt but I think this is a deeply unfunny movie. 

The jokes fall into about three main categories:

(1) Quirky Humor: This is like Asha babbling and tripping over her words. The scene in the trailer where she's like, "Is my face drooping?" is a good example. It's not really a joke but it's clearly an attempt at humor that I don't think meets the mark. It's also in the songs with, for instance, the animals or the King saying slang that doesn't match how they talk or you'd expect them to talk at all and it just feels deeply incongruent, not funny. 

(2) Referential Humor: This is probably what bothered me the most because it was just so so very eye-roll inducing. And listen, I love a good reference. Enchanted is my favorite movie of all time. I don’t begrudge them for putting a few references in their 100th Anniversary movie. But ugh. There is a scene after the king's gone crazy where he's destroying wish bubbles for power and he's like, looking at the wishes and making a quip before he crushes them. And for the second one he goes, "Oh you want a nanny for your kids? Definitely  POPPING this one!" And he might as well have looked at the camera and said, "Get it? Get it?" and it took 6 months off my lifespan. (Sidenote: He he does a direct ref with the first two wish bubbles--Peter Pan and Mary Poppins–and then he just makes a general ref to the concept of true love with the last one and it's like, come on at least rule of threes this if you're gonna do it. Commit to your awful bit!)

(3) Kiddie Humor: This is where things get especially subjective because maybe a little kid would find this stuff really funny and they are a part of the target audience so that's valid. But it doesn't add much substance to the movie. This is like the goat being like, "I found a secret passage with my butt" or leading a chicken choir or singing the line, "So that's where all the balls of gas come from" while sticking his butt in the air--a lot of these have to do with the goat and his butt now that I think about it. 

I think I only laughed at one thing in the movie that was meant to be at least partially funny--when the Queen interrupts the fight song and everyone is like "Oh shit, we're busted!" before she starts singing along. 

So to recap: Sometimes a movie has a weak story but it's super funny and that makes up for it. This is not one of those movies.

Music

This is the one thing I already knew before I watched this movie: The music in this movie is bad. 

Like, fullstop, no qualifications bad. Not bad for a Disney movie. Not bad for this story. Just bad.

I was a little confused by the choice to pick a pop artist instead of someone who specializes in musical theater style music for this project, but a more pop-y musical doesn't automatically mean a worse musical. Sure, maybe it's a weird choice to pay homage to the past 100 years of Disney movies, but it could be good. I love Six the Musical.

But that's the problem. The songs aren't just unfitting. They're not just un-Disney. They're fully BAD. They feel so half-baked and God, I've never been so assaulted by slant rhymes in my life. Like, this bothers me to the point where I have to go through the entire tracklist. I can't just make a blanket statement, I have to show you what I mean:

1) Welcome to Rosas: This whole song sounds like someone listened to “Where you Are” from Moana (the "consider the coconut" song), “Belle” from Beauty and the Beast, and “The Family Madrigal” from Encanto and was like, "I could do that". And then they couldn't. It's not really catchy and it's pretty repetitive. Super forgettable. 

Worst Line: Honestly, this song is too boring to have a worst line. 

2) At All Costs: This is the duet that Asha and Magnifico sing. Before I saw the movie, I thought it was going to be Asha singing about a wish and Magnifico singing to his wife to set up the eventual rift between them but that was before I realized that this movie doesn't believe in relationship building. Some of the movie's worst musical sins are on display here. Turns of phrases that seem like they were written by AI and bizarre syntax. 

Like what does, "You pull me in, like some kind of wind" mean? That's not what wind does. Why would anyone ever say, "Felt this? No, I haven't" instead of "I haven't felt this?" That's so awkward. 

Worst Line: "Leave you here, I don't wanna. I wanna [promise as one does]." My feelings about this line could be a whole other essay, but I've been writing this for 2 hours already so I have to move on. 

3) This Wish: This is the big "I Want" song and it fails on several levels. It fails in comparison to all the songs it’s standing in the shadow of--like the last “I Want” song we got is, I believe, “Waiting on a Miracle” and man! How can you not feel for Mirabel after watching her go through everything she goes through at the start of the movie and it getting topped with her being excluded from the family portrait? You see all the build up (including the implied build up from before the movie started) and you see why it's all bubbled up to the point where she has no choice but to sing about it! With Asha, there isn't a whole lifetime of angst that's bubbling up to make her sing this song. Everything that's happened to her has happened over the hour of like eight hours tops. She meets the king, finds out about the king, realizes the whole system is bad, and then gets into an argument with her family who's drunk the Kool-Aid and doesn't wanna hear what she has to say (which makes no impact on us because we have no idea what their relationship is). That's it. It doesn't feel like the movie has earned the song.

And then with “Waiting for a Miracle” the music itself is plaintive and soaring. Like, I just paused writing to listen to it and I couldn't help but sing along and pour a little of my actual IRL "I Want" energy into it. It's a song that feels very real. “This Wish” isn't any of that. And it's not the actresses' fault! She's pouring her whole heart into it and she consistently does all movie. But the song is just, bland. Like I said, "I want to have more than this" is too weak a hook to hang your whole song on–especially when it’s the song that’s supposed to be the thesis of your whole movie.  

Worst Line: "So I look up at the stars to guide me/And throw caution to every warning sign." That's not a thing people say and also it doesn't mean anything. If anything, it sounds like she's saying that she's being extra cautious at the warning signs! You can't just throw words together haphazardly and expect them to retain their meaning!

4) I'm a Star: This is, imo, the worst song on the whole track. A friend of mine described it as sounding like a song from a preschool science show and that's exactly it, but there's more to it than that. 

First of all, a big part of the reason this song exists is to set up the fact that humans are made of stardust because that's a plot point in the climax. But there didn't need to be a song about that. That would be like if Frozen 2 had a song about how water has memory. But like, OK. If the song was a bop, it wouldn't matter that it was superfluous. Haus of Holbein in Six does NOT need to be there, but I enjoy it! I do NOT enjoy this song however. 

This is something I alluded to earlier, but this soundtrack in general and this song specifically sounds like it's trying to do LMM's schtick but poorly. And I know some people don't like his whole style of music (I personally like it) but love him or hate him, his style without his skill? Awful. The presentation of fun facts in the middle of a fun song makes me think of his "Look it Up" in “Shiny” or "That's true" in “A Winter's Ball”. And there's a part where a turtle (we'll get to the talking animals) sings "See we're all just little nebulae in a nursery/From supernovas now we've grown into our history/We're taking whys right out of mystery, closure/Now we're taking in all the star exposure" And it really sounds like someone doing their best to emulate Lin's flow in things like Mirabel's aside to Mariano in “The Family Madrigal” or any number of songs I could name from Hamilton. But it just falls so flat here. It sounds so preschool and cheesy. And not preschool in a fun way. Backyardigans would never. 

Also, this song is sung by a bunch of talking animals (the Star gives them the ability to talk) and I find them so obnoxious. They say stuff like, "Did we just blow your mind?" with the "boom" sound effect and I hate it. Maybe kids will like them, I dunno. I refuse to get into it further. 

Worst Line: This song completely misuses the word allegory, which I hate, and it rhymes it with "excitatory" which I hate more (and I am saying this as someone who has made peace with the fact that Schwartz rhymes "nasty" with "flabbergasty" in Disenchanted) but there is only one line in this song that can be considered the true worst line because it's my least favorite line in the whole movie. A dumbass, stoner-sounding deer named Bambi (boo) sings, "Ooh, I'm a star! Watch out world, here I are"

They rhyme the word star--not a hard word to rhyme at all--with HERE I ARE. 

I firmly believe someone should go to jail for that. 

5) This is The Thanks I Get?!: This is the much anticipated and extremely disappointing villain song. There's just no gravitas and it's not clever enough to be very fun. It's just kinda bopping along which is eh, kind of fun at best, but like everything else in this movie, doesn't leave an impact. A musical number doesn't have to be obviously sinister like “Be Prepared” or, the holy (unholy?) grail, “Hellfire”, to be impactful. “Mother Knows Best” is bright and filled with false cheer but it still works because we can see the manipulation that Gothel is doing and she spins Raps around in mental circles to keep her docile. This is just an egotistical rant--and not even in a fun, Gaston kind of way! (Sidenote: Gaston is a good example of a villain who is preening and pompous and kind fo campy, but who you see why he’s beloved AND he can be menacing when the scene calls for it). 

Also, it's so full of weird slang that Magnifico doesn't use at any other point in the movie. "Peep the name", "Ungrateful much", "Mmm, are you sure you're not the prob?" It's like he suddenly got possessed by Urban Dictionary. It's bizarre. 

It also comes weirdly late in the movie, which isn't a complaint, just an observation. 

Worst Line: I think "peep the name" is my least fave but, because I already said that, the opening lines of this song are, "I can't help it if mirrors love my face. It's genetics! Yeah, I got these genes from outer space" and that's such a weird thing to say. I got these genes from outer space? He wasn't even there for the star song so what the hell does he mean by that?

6) Knowing What I Know Now: I feel like this is the song that had the most potential. But for all its build, it never builds to anything. It starts and ends so abruptly (which is the case for multiple songs on this list). We don't really get to know any of the characters well except for Asha so them joining the revolution has no impact. The Queen turning on Magnifico really doesn't have much impact. 

(There's a line in this song where a character sings, "I was sweet but now I'm something else" which is so funny because we literally know nothing about her except that she surprises people when she's in a room which, lmao, me too. Fully forgot you were in this movie, girl). 

Worst Line: "The good in him, I've watched it melt". There's technically nothing wrong with this line but I hate it because melting with regard to emotion is never, "Oh, his goodness is melting". It just hits the ear so wrong. You can watch the good in him disappear or fade or vanish. Not melt. Hearts melt. 

There's also a reprise and a credits song but I have talked about the music for too long as is so to sum up, there is not a single song on this list that I will ever purposefully listen to for enjoyment ever again and there are a few lines that I feel calls for someone being forced to go to whatever the musical version of the Hague is to explain themselves. 

MISC

This is just a section for things that annoyed me that didn't fit anywhere else. 

There's a moment where Asha sees Star which is a star that has fallen to earth and is shaped like a star and she's not able to put together than he's a star until she looks up at a ball of yarn that's tangled in the trees and sees that the yarn is shaped like a star...which again, Star is ALSO shaped like a star! Baffling. 

Gabo at one point makes a comment to the effect of, "Wishing on a Star? Grow up Asha, this isn't a fairy tale." And it's like, dude shut up. Your king is a sorcerer. This movie isn't funny enough to pull off that kind of wink to the audience. 

The actual funniest part of the movie is when a talking mouse (not a thing that usually exists in this world) runs onto the Queen's shoulder during a big speech in front of a crowd and not only does no one notice, but she has no stronger reaction than if a messenger was telling her that her dinner was ready. And not in an underreaction for the purposes of a joke way. Like, in a they forgot to write in a reaction for her way. It's so unintentionally hilarious. 

They specifically set this in the real world–off the coast of the Iberan Peninsula–but I didn’t get any of that influence in any significant way here. It could have been any generic island town. Rosas sounds like a Spanish name and “Welcome to Rosas” there is some dancing that looks like traditional Spanish dancing. But on a whole, it feels pretty bland. When I think about studying abroad in Spain, one of the big things I think about are all the moments with food–patatas con bravas, pan con tomatae, paella, and so so much coffee. The only food I remember from this movie are the novelty cookies Dahlia is always baking. Which is wild to me because their last big musical was Encanto and you could feel the cultural influences in every scene and it was seamless. This wouldn’t even bother me if that hadn’t made a point to set it in a specific part of the real world and call it out. 

A lot of the dialogue is super expository in a way that both makes me think the writers think we’re stupid and that they realized at certain points that they forgot to establish things but instead of fixing the script they just shoved in a line. Like, to the first point, there’s a part where Magnifico crushes a wish and it’s very clear that he’s getting a high from it. But instead of letting the moment stand he’s like, “Oh yes. Who knew crushing wishes would feel so good? I must continue to crush wishes so I keep feeling this good feeling,” and it’s like…why did you need to say all of that? Old Power Rangers episodes have their villains monologue less than that!

This movie opens on a storybook–just like Snow White–and it has a voice over of Asha narrating the history of Rosas as the pages flip. Not a bad idea–until you push into the scene and realize she’s telling all of this to…her grandpa? Who is 100 years old and lived through all of this? What? Why not have that scene be a kid flashback and the story is being told to her? Or have her be doing the little kid thing of telling a story to an adult? Either way, that would help establish their relationship which is ostensibly very important to this movie. Or, wild thought, just have her be telling this story to kids! Like Mirabel explaining all the Madrigal gifts in Encanto! Like, if you’re gonna take cues from that movie, at least go all the way so your movie makes sense. 

It’s very unclear how Star’s magic works. It seems like he mostly just gives wildlife the ability to talk. I thought he was just granting wishes but he never does that to any of the humans. And I find it hard to believe that the wish of every animal (and mushroom)  in this movie is just to be able to talk.

Easy Fixes

And all of this is compounded by the fact that this isn’t just any random movie or even any random Disney movie. It’s the *100th ANNIVERSARY*. You only get one of those and this is what they wasted it on. My hopes were really high here! I was expecting a lot of love and care to be put into this one, but it just fell absolutely flat. It feels so rote, so by the numbers, so lacking in care. It feels like the shell of an outline of a movie that relies on the fact that we know what a movie of this sort should be and can fill in the blanks. 

And the worst part? The absolute worst part?

IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A REALLY EASY MOVIE TO FIX. 

Like, I’m serious. If you watch this movie, you will be able to, off the cuff, name tons of things that would have solved problems without breaking a sweat. 

For instance, just cutting her friend group down from seven to two would have helped immensely. If she, Dahlia, and Simon have a Three Musketeers relationship, then when he betrays her to the king, it actually means something now! 

For a bigger but still obvious change, why not have Asha have an existing relationship with Magnifico? So then this story can be about her losing faith in this relationship she’s had for a long time after she’s seen behind the curtain and become jaded over time and not a 7 minute “Don’t Meet Your Heroes” speedrun.

And making it clear what taking a Wish from a person means–and following through with that portrayal all movie–would all be a game changer. Show that Magnifico’s magical wish granting still leaves the people hollow. Show that Asha is a vibrant, bright person amongst a sea of robotic adults. Show me some worldbuilding! 

Also, just hire a musical theater person to do the music. Seriously I can’t believe I have to say this? How is there not a single good song in this movie? There are DCOMs with more bangers than this. Almost every song in High School Musical is a bop. How are you getting outshone by High School Musical?

And these are just changes that preserve the bulk of the story as is. This movie could have been even better if they’d change the direction to go with some of their scrapped ideas!

This is just a movie that absolutely baffles me. I wouldn’t think it would be possible for a movie with this high of a profile to be this bad. You would think that even accidentally they’d have to get SOMETHING right. But they really don’t. I can’t recommend this movie, even for a fun-bad watch. It’s like eating unsalted saltines while you have dry mouth. Just watch a better movie. And here are three movies I think are more in the spirit of Disney’s 100th anniversary than Wish:

(1) The Princess and the Frog does literally everything that this movie is trying to do but better. You’ve got a movie that used a 2D style in the 3D era. You have integration of cultural elements–in this case New Orleans in the 20s. You have a classic princess story with the classic trappings: romance, villain, fairy godmother. You have a rocking villain song. Hell, you even have a wishing star motif! 

(2) Encanto is the latest Disney movie of the modern era to have that classic Disney magic, imo. It sidesteps a lot of the classic Disney tropes–no princess, no serious romance (Delores and Mariano end up together but it’s very much a side thing), no villain beyond generational trauma–but it still feels musical and magical and full of character and life. It shows that you can keep the big emotions that we expect from Disney even with more modern sensibilities. 

(3) Enchanted is my favorite movie of all time so I’m biased, but I still firmly believe that it stands as a better movie in general and tribute to Disney specifically than Wish. THIS is how you do an homage. The whole plot is a loving roast of all the quirks of classic Disney movies, but it’s also a sincere story that stands on its own. It has references to old movies, but they’re integrated very naturally. And it’s funny enough to get away with things like a character mid-musical number being like, “What the hell is happening? Why is everybody singing?” without it feeling like lazy, “Well that just happened” humor. And the music is so good! 

(A quick note on the music btw: Most of the songs in Enchanted are musical theater style songs but there’s one song near the end called “So Close” which is like a pop ballad. And it totally makes sense why they’d depart from the musical theater style in that moment in context but, even if it was jarring and totally unfitting for the movie, it’s still objectively a strong song. Out of context, it would be a great, sad, romantic song. And if the music in Wish was all like that–good but unfitting–this would confuse me less than it does.)

Anyway, I would shell out a LOT of money for a making of documentary for this movie in the style of the Frozen 2 one because as writer and a fan of a lot of Disney’s past stuff, it is completely beyond my comprehension who a team of accomplished people get together to create the 100th Anniversary project with their vast resources and produce this. It just doesn't feel like a movie with any serious care put into it. Which is separate from quality, btw. I don’t like the movie Raya very much but I think it’s obvious a lot of care went into it and I respect this. Wish feels like a movie that was made to fill some kind of contractual obligation and it makes me sad because I really wanted to like it. 

[intermundia]

I come out of abstract filmmaking. I like the idea of cutting together contrasting images and ideas so they flow one after the other. If you watch a silent movie, you can see how a story is told; if you watch abstract films, you can see that by juxtaposing images, you also tell stories, and, in doing so, the issue of cutting on one frame rather than on another becomes very important. On the editorial level, which is the cinematic level, movies are a mass of objects moving across a large surface. You're watching these little details, which are the ones that make the cut work, as they move through the back of the frame. You're orchestrating how these things flow, by deciding how you cut from one shot to another. The subtlety of the medium demands that a star break the frame at the right moment, because what reaction you get has a lot to do with spatial relationships: where things are in the frame, what color things are, where the bright objects are—and where your eye is going to be. When the movie cuts to a different shot, if your eye has to move a great distance to follow an object, it becomes a rough cut; if your eye stays in the same place, then it's a smooth cut. If your eye has to move too much, you're usually lost for two frames on a cut. You don't understand what you're seeing because you can't register it that fast. If you're just cutting dialogue, it doesn't matter; it's just talking heads and the emphasis is all on the dialogue. But in my films, the dialogue is not where the movie is. My films are basically in the graphics. The emotional impact comes from the music—and from juxtaposing one image with the next. Cinema is about moving images. But it's moving from one image to the next that creates the emotional impact. -George Lucas quoted in Rinzler's the Making of Revenge of the Sith

The reason that I am comfortable disregarding a lot of criticism of Star Wars (both the prequels and the originals) is that I just think certain people don't and will never 'get it,' as the intent and execution of what Lucas was trying to achieve with the films don't mesh with their priorities and standards. Lucas is a master of the pure aesthetic experience of seeing a movie on the big screen, and that's why seeing Star Wars in theaters in 1977 blew everyone's minds and captured the public imagination. His priority is completely capturing your attention such that you are transported by the moving image and music. If people aren't interested in experiencing that, or don't appreciate the skill with which he crafts the sensory impact, the mesmerizing excitement of his rapid and dynamic action, lush visuals and soaring music, we'll never see eye to eye about the quality of the film.

[c-is-for-circinate]

MCU Rewatch #3: THOR (2011)

General Impressions: I'm allowed to like this one for reasons unrelated to objective quality! I'm also allowed to dislike it for same!

Thor does a good job at a bunch of things. It manages to really succinctly outline what Asgard's deal is, who the major players are, and how this complete fantasy world works, while remaining in the context of a two-hour movie that mostly doesn't even take place there. It's very funny in places! It's not at all a deep movie, but it's entertaining and fantastical and that's fun. This is -- and was! -- the perfect movie to watch in a cold movie theater during a hot summer, munching popcorn and explosions, and that's a perfectly valid thing to be.

Anyway, for me the best parts and the worst parts of this movie were the same, ie Loki. We'll get there -- he was by far the most complex part of this really quite simple film, and that has its plusses and minuses!

All in all, there's nothing wrong with a simple film, and for the most part that's what I'll say about Thor: it was a simple film with good fight scenes, and nothing much was wrong with it.

OH. Except the sound balancing/editing. That was absolutely criminal and whoever was in charge of sound design for this movie should be shot, not just for their crimes here but for the many years of emulation to come.

The Hero: Like the movie, simple but endearing, with a genuine heart.

Thor is definitely not as compelling as Tony Stark, but he's likeable, and his emotional arc is definitely both present and the most genuine part of this movie. In a lot of ways, what we see here is that Thor is a big kid. He makes decisions without thinking about consequences. He does not bother to try and read a room. He's arrogant in a way that reflects his position, but he's also arrogant in a way that suggests he hasn't considered his position -- having his powers, hammer, and home taken away from him is a shock because he's never thought about the fact that he had them in the first place. Getting sent to Earth is more or less a boy being grounded by his father to try and teach him responsibility. Thor is almost a coming-of-age movie, except that it never quite feels like Thor actually gets there -- he's better, by the end, but not quite a man standing on his own two feet just yet. Breaking the Bifrost is a sacrifice on his part, not a decision carrying the weight of the responsibilities Thor will have as an adult and future king.

That said, I really enjoyed the sincerity of his confusion and grief over being told Odin was dead. He's a hurt little kid, asking his brother if please, can I go home. The scene with Selvig in the bar is one of the best in the movie, with Thor admitting vulnerability and doubt and regret over how he left things with his father. (And again, telling that all of these are feelings about his dad, with a man old enough to be a dad/granddad, and that's the energy Thor needs to lean on right now -- Selvig, not Jane, gets Thor's emotional breakthrough moments, because Thor is a tall handsome child who hasn't grown past needing a parent.)

Also, I vaguely remember some fan back-and-forth about whether Thor is kind of dumb, or very smart but trolling, or very smart and just ignorant of local customs. Upon rewatch, Thor may or may not be smart, but he doesn't particularly care. He does shit on Earth because he doesn't care enough to pay attention to whether it's appropriate. Nobody else is smashing coffee mugs, and the diner is totally lacking in raucous celebratory energy, but Thor wants to be raucous and celebrate, so he's going to do so whether it's appropriate or not. Doesn't matter that he's been driven around in cars his whole time on Earth, he doesn't spend thirty seconds to think about what might be appropriate travel, he's going to make assumptions. This is more of that self-centered teenager logic, where he doesn't bother to try and think about the existence of points of view outside his own.

The Villain: If I end up having Loki Feels by the end of this marathon I'm going to stab something. I refuse.

Anyway, Loki was the most complex part of this really quite simple film, which has good and bad sides! I can and will be objective about how well/poorly that complexity was rendered, but sitting here thirteen years after this movie came out, I can admit it: I really fucking hate the Evil Adopted Kid trope. It's a shitty trope and I don't like it, for personal reasons, and that is always going to color my experience with Loki in any movie where he shows up

That aside, Loki's actual motivations and plans in this movie were baffling and kind of a mess. The problem is that Loki is a complex character, with a lot of doubts, full of love and jealousy and insecurity and pride, but we very rarely get to see him from the inside. It feels like the movie was really invested in surprising people with the end twist of Loki killing Laufey in front of Odin, revealing that actually he was on Asgard's side all along! and does not hate his family! So therefore, for the movie before that, we had to be witness to everyone else's doubts about him and only seeing his actions from the outside, to keep that a surprise. I can see how it'd be effective on a first watch, when the suspense of 'what is this guy going to do and what side is he on?' can pull a viewer through the movie. On a rewatch, knowing what Loki's ultimate deal is, it just feels confusing and inconsistent. What exactly was your plan for when your dad woke up, Loki? Did you actually intend to leave Thor on Earth forever? Were you or were you not actually hoping to kill your brother? What the fuck was your endgame here?

I think there is probably a very interesting story here where Loki's plans seem muddled because he's muddled, awash with emotions and doubts and the inner conflict between love of his brother, twisting jealousy, the objective truth that Thor would be a terrible king, and the fact that Loki, like Thor, is also still very much a grown-up kid. He's making dumb decisions by the seat of his pants and his motivations are contradictory and messy. That tracks, with what we see, but we don't get to see that because this movie is too invested in its twist and its simplicity. Allowing Loki the time and space to be this complicated would steal the entire show from his simpler, genuine brother, and because the movie itself wanted to be simple and straightforward, there wasn't room to hold the layers of its complicated villain. No wonder the Tumblr girlies went wild for him.

The Ensemble: Weak romantic lead with an A+ comic sidekick, hobbled by needing to run two casts at once.

I think this is where we really see Thor suffer from the problem of having to establish two casts at the same time. The New Mexico side of the equation, Jane and Selvig and Darcy, simply doesn't get time for character development. We know next to nothing about Jane, except that she cares about her research and once dated a doctor. Why this research? How did she get into it? How long has she been in New Mexico? What university does she even work for??? It's true that we don't get a lot of details about, say, Pepper's backstory, but it doesn't matter because we understand from the very beginning how she fits into her life and also Tony's life. Jane is a brief three-day whirlwind in Thor's existence, and that's not enough time for him or us to understand who she is or why we should love her. It feels like the movie went through the motions of having a Lady Love Interest, and it doesn't work out great.

Darcy and Selvig actually fare better, simply because there's less need for them to be more than they are. All we know about Darcy is that she's a polisci major who's working a summer internship way outside of her field, but we don't need to know more -- she's there to be fucking hilarious and indeed she is. Selvig is there to help facilitate Jane's choices and Thor's emotional development, and he does his job well.

The Asgardians have a similar problem. Thor's four friends are basically interchangeable (Sif's only notable distinction being that she's a girl). Thor's mom...shows up? We get the impression that there's more going on with Odin than we've seen, but I wonder if some of that is just me remembering Ragnarok -- either way, given that Odin is literally in a coma for 3/4 of this movie, it doesn't mean much. Heimdall probably has more characterization than anyone else in Asgard other than Loki, and that is...not a lot.

It's a lot of just not very much, across the board.

The Franchise: We're already seeing the formula start to get built and tested in the moviemaking labs.

It's fascinating watching Thor on screen directly after two back-to-back movies of Tony Stark, because Thor has some of Tony's same growth arc with none of his fascinating complexity. On the surface they've got the same vague sketched outline: careless, self-involved privileged prettyboy must learn to think outside himself and care for others to become a hero. Thor takes that plotline in a very different direction, which means the movie doesn't feel same-y, but a more cynical viewer might wish to speculate about what boardroom or producer's office suggested that the writing team follow that.

I think Thor actually does better about wasting time trying to set up the future of the franchise. We don't spend a ton of time on Coulson and Hawkeye here -- if we watched this movie with no idea who they were or that they were here to set up anything at all, they'd function fine as Generic Government People (with an inexplicable thing for archery). I think the place where the setting-up hits worst, actually, might be with Loki: he needs to be complex and sympathetic enough to be interesting as the main villain of Avengers, but we can't resolve anything about him before that. (Not sure how far they'd planned the plot of Avengers at this point in the production run, but I wouldn't be surprised if they'd already called him as their bad guy.)

Thinking about the big thematic MCU premise of a superhero world without secret identities -- the choice of Thor as our next hero in the franchise, somebody who neither has nor needed a secret identity to begin with, is clever there. They're not going back on the freedom from overworked secret identity bullshit that they've promised, but they're also not stuck making a second movie about the lack of them, which would just end up looking like a retread of IM2. The secrets we do find here are all kept by SHIELD, which is clearly trying to keep superhero stuff in, and just as clearly is not managing it. (Loki also has a secret identity, with his discovery of his Jotunn heritage...hmm, much to think about there for the future.)

We pretty much lose all themes around the military-industrial complex here, and the movie is probably the better for it, considering what a hash IM2 made of the subject.

VERDICT: A breezy, light 6/10

Thor is in every respect a perfectly fine movie. It's simple, it's straightforward, it manages to do a bunch of things and establish a brand new fantasy setting without actually putting much depth into any of them.

I suspect that, as I get further on in this franchise, 'perfectly fine and no great flaws' is going to be the verdict on a lot of these movies, and I'm going to start dropping my number rating lower and lower every time something shows up that's simply fine. For now, with the context of only IM1 and 2, 'does light summer adventure flick competently with some sincerity and doesn't fuck it up' feels like an improvement over IM2's messiness, so that's where I'm rating it.

Except for the sound design. Anyone who thinks their battle sequences need sound effects roughly 800% of a standard dialogue scene should be forced to watch their own movies with the sound on a pair of unremovable headphones set to a flat however-loud-it-needs-to-be-to-hear-people-talking. Perhaps, after the deafness ensues, they will change fucking careers.

[theliterarywolf]

With regards to the strike, what do you say to the people who contend that modern writing for TV and movies already feels like it's being generated by AI in terms of how bland, generic, and lacking in quality it is?

That a good chunk of the issues plaguing television and film can all be threaded back to Corporate Mishandling and Greed.

Think about it:

Plenty of writers with fresh, original ideas in Hollywood + Studios/Streaming Services not wanting to take chances on anything new and keep regurgitating the same 5 core ideas = Stagnant Writing

'Hey, I have an idea for a new fantasy/scifi series!' + 'Perfect! We're going to skin it alive and stitch the skin of this recently acquired classic IP onto it' = Shitty 'adaptations' that reek of originally being completely different scripts.

'Hey--' + 'Great, cool, wonderful..! Does it fall into the tropes and tone of the last four mega-hit shows? No? Well, how about you just... whittle things down until it falls into the tropes and tone of the last four mega-hit shows?' = TV shows with damn-near derivative scripts.

'I don't... feel like my skills and talent are being utilized here. Also, I'd kiiind of like to make rent this month?' + 'Well, I have several Nepotism Babies still suckling on the teats of their rich parents who are willing to follow my lead and take my shitty pay, so... Bye~!' = Our current situation.

The reason why all these Studios/Streaming Services feel like they can get away with the threat of 'we'll just use AI instead' is because they think that audiences as a whole are okay with a steady stream of slop as long as it falls into a series of tropes and plots that AI can reproduce.

However, as many have pointed out and actually tried... It doesn't do it well enough to create engaging narratives.

[snowb3rryy]

Lucifer x F!MC

Unexpected Expectations

Summary:

A long trip to the human world seems to be enough to get a couple out of its routine.

MC is female and uses she/her pronouns. Written in 1st person.

Engish isn't my first language, so I may have made some mistakes.

Lucifer and I have been living in the Human World for the past 3 weeks. Diavolo sent Lucifer away to attend a long sorcerer festival that the preparations last for 2 months and the festival will be 2 weeks long. I decided to follow him both as a representative for both worlds but also to keep him company.

Since we'll stay for months, I asked Lucifer if we could rent a place for a couple of months instead of staying at a hotel. Strangely enough, he agreed almost immediately.

After our first weeks here, we got a good look of what domestic life looks like with each other. At first, I thought we'd be all day at the preparations for the festival but I was wrong. The head of the festival announced us as honorary guests so we just attend the event once per week.

Our days are filled with simplicity and peace. I'd wake up first, get ready and fresh for the day, then spend a whole hour to get Lucifer up and then we'd destroy the kitchen while trying to make breakfast. We both are good cooks but Lucifer is arrogantly acting like he knows how to use human appliances and he fails miserably every time. He is really only used in Devildom appliances that are technologically advanced and have a tad of magic.

Later, we'd mess around in the house, watch some tv while Lucifer's braincells burn due to the low quality of programs, then maybe some chess just to show off or a complex board game that takes me days to comprehend yet he understands it by reading the instructions once, and then our noon would end with us listening to music or watching some human world movie classics.

In the afternoon is when we start to get hungry so he usually goes grocery shopping alone and returns. We cook once more together with the same failure until I have enough and put him on time out and make him read the instructions of the appliances while I try to salvage the almost burnt food.

In the evening he manages to drag me out of the house and we go to a gallery, or a museum or a theater play. In the end I always feel happy that I actually went along with him.

Around midnight, we both feel wasted and fall asleep quickly. During our time here, I'd say our sex drive is slowly disappearing. The change of environment, the curiosity of Lucifer to learn the human world, my world better and our daily shenanigans leave us with no will to do more than just cuddle and snore till the sun is up.

Or so I thought. A few nights ago, I woke up, feeling thirsty. As I opened my eyes and tried to understand my surroundings, I realised Lucifer is out of the bed. Before even managing to collect my thoughts I hear a faint sound.

Aghh~

I rub my eyes and focus my hearing again. This time I hear faint painting and some more low grunts. I stand up and follow the sound, I'm led to the door next to the bedroom. The bathroom door. I bent down and look through the keyhole. I see Lucifer... and he's jerking off?? (Without me???)

I feel myself smirk and almost laugh.

I recall myself all those night I woke up in the middle of the night to masturbate as well, I never thought he did it too in the exact same spot as well. It's surprising since he always asks me to sleep with him, yet not this time. Take it because it's the middle of the night? No.. he has woken me up before... Maybe, then he didn't because we both are tired... But that didn't stop him either.

Whatever the reason is, I stop thinking the moment I hear my name come out of his lips.

His deep voice, whispering my name outloud as he's stroking his big cock~

I feel my legs press against each other. I want him, yet the moment I think to open the door and join him I hear him curse and moans a bit louder than before. I bent down and look through the keyhole again and see him cover his mouth with wide eyes as he holds his cock firmly at the base as his pulsating dick is releasing cum on the bathroom floor.

I curse at myself for losing this chance and return fast on the bed, taking advantage of his orgasm afterglow.

Soon he joins me on the bed, his aura feels lighter as he lays beside me and hugs me and kisses my cheek. He looks at me and whispers "How I wish you were with me, my darling. I'll make you mine again when we get a bit more used to our new routine".

He then falls asleep almost immediately. I don't know if he simply said his thoughts outloud to me or if he really knew I was awake.

The next morning arrives yet I'm not the same. I feel more stiff, more uncomfortable.

I haven't been able to sleep after that event last night. I want him, I need him. Yet he was so patient. He's right. We maybe need some more time maybe.. Maybe I should keep pleasing myself alone until we both feel more comfortable to our new reality. Yet this fire inside me is different than the rest. Last night was the first time I heard him moan and grunt in almost a month, and my pussy hasn't stopped leaking. I had to change underwear mutiple times.. Seriously..that guy drives me crazy.

I can't wait for the night so I try to find an excuse to get him out of the house.

- Lucifer, won't you go for groceries today?

I say a bit shaking, my mind is at the task to get him out of the house yet my body is already at the stage of pleasure.

Lucifer: Isn't it early yet? Sure I can if you want me too.

I nod and smile. Finally he takes his coat off and opens the door to leave... Yet he turns around the last moment.

Lucifer: The weather is warmer today, maybe you want to come with me and help me out?

- No, no

I say fast and I almkst push him out of the door

- Maybe tomorrow okay? Okay bye!

I shove him out and all I can see is his surprised expression before I close the door.

I immediately run to the bedroom and open his drawer.

There's my baby. My beloved vibrating dildo. I smile and get my clothes off fast and lay down on the bed. I touch my body all over the place and I tease my clit with my dildo rubbing against it. The sensation are brainmelting and become unbearable the moment I turn on the vibration. My mouth hangs open as my voice leaves my body strongly as the sensations of pleasure make my body numb. I close my eyes and imagine his touch on me, his lips on my nipples as he thrusts his cock in and out of me. My moans and breath are mixed together as my chest rises and falls faster with each passing moment.

Lucifer's POV

I look at the closed front door shocked and a bit... upset. I felt something is off from the moment I woke up. She seemed so... so out of touch, like her thoughts were somewhere else...

I collect my thoughts and walk to the market. I purchase the necessities for the meal and I start for my way home. I add in my head the task to stop by the flower shop before heading back. I pick a bouquet with her favourite flowers... I hope it will make her happier than she was when I left.

I arrive home and I unlock the door.

- Darling, I'm home

I get no reply. The moment I open my mouth ready to call for her again, I'm shut up by a loud moan. I get a bit curious. I let the bags on the kitchen counter and place the bouquet on the vase as I walk to the bedroom.

Every step I make brings me closer to the source of that sweet voice. As I stand outside the bedroom a mix of her voice calling my name and the maxed vibrator arrive in my ears. I smirk satisfied. It seems she really was awake last night.

I open the door, the view in front of mr is enough to make me cum yet, I keep my composure.

Someone seems to be.... impatient, my dear MC.

♡Hope you liked it! Let me know if you want a part 2~

Also, if you want, you can read it on Ao3, too🩷

https://archiveofourown.org/works/52762819

[writergeekrhw]

If AMPTP isn't playing ball, why don't the WGA, SAG-AFTRA, and other guilds (and their members) put together competition? As it stands, AMPTP is negotiating from a place of "They Need Us!", and they have shows in the pipelines (as well as otherwise-canceled movie projects) they can just bring out over time. The only way I can see to break that view would be to create alternatives so that they are just other options that the guilds don't need.

A friend and I actually looked into this in 2007-8, trying to figure out what it would take to start a talent-friendly streaming network (when they were just a glimmer). The answer turns out to be that creating quality film and television is VERY capital intensive. There are massive infrastructure and labor requirements. We would've had to raise, like, literally 1 billion dollars. So, it's no surprise to me that the companies who've "disrupted" the business since 2007-8, namely Apple, Amazon, and Netflix, have insanely deep pockets.

Plus, the amount of time it would take to ramp up an endeavor like that would be prohibitive. We wouldn't get anyone back to work any time soon.

It's much more likely to think we can split the AMPTP the same way we did the agents. If we can't make a deal in the next round of negotiations, which will hopefully start next week, that may be what we'll have to do.

At the end of the day, though, what most showbiz people want is a functioning studio/talent relationship in which we can all make plenty of money. We've had that before. Now things are out-of-balance. Hopefully we'll be able to close a new deal soon which will allow creatives have sustainable careers, both now and in the future.

[arminsumi]

FLEUR

Oneshot | Eren | ♪

Eren works as a florist at his mom's flower shop, and just next to it is his dad's clinic. After your check ups, you browse the flowers. Eren always glances over at you longingly.

But he never manages to work up the courage to talk to you, and it always gets him down.

⚠️Cws; fluff, light angst

Notes; black!fem!reader

"Ah, Eren." Armin sighed pitifully at his friend.

Eren lowered his chin onto his forearm, and let his gloomy eyes flutter closed.

"You really need to do something about this." Armin said.

You had yet again come into the store, bought a bouquet, and vanished from sight. All Eren managed to say to you were simplicities, hello how are you that will be $6.99 thank you see you again.

Eren sighed heavily and rubbed the tension out of his face with his hands. "She'll come by for another checkup at some point again; I promise to really talk to her then."

"Uh-uh! You said that last time!" Armin shook his head.

"Well, this time I really mean it."

"You also said that last time."

Eren let his head fall back and groaned. He always became lethargic at the end of a long working day, especially when this happened.

His mom descended the stairs from the upstairs apartment. She didn't need to even ask what had gotten Eren in this mood, it was all too familiar.

"Eren?" She called out, but he closed his eyes and rested his jaw heavily in his palm.

"Yeah?" He mumbled lamely.

"Get off work early for today, okay? You two go out and stretch your legs, take your mind of things." She spoke gently.

She sighed and turned to Armin after Eren was unresponsive, "Armin, take this poor boy out somewhere nice." She asked.

"Yes ma'am." Armin clapped his hands together, "Eren, let's go, come on." Armin encouraged, and tried to move Eren by his arm, but he wouldn't budge.

He let out a throaty groan, like he was in pain at the sight of embarrassing memories in his mind. There they were, projecting onto his eyelids like a movie.

At that point he was being so dramatic that it became comical.

Armin laughed, and tried to move him again, "Come on, big boy, we'll go get some food and bitch about life, how does that sound?"

He gave Eren another encouraging tug on his arm, "Come on! Move, move, soldier!" He shook him playfully.

"Alright." Eren sighed heavily, and finally moved. Though, he moved as if his whole body was made of lead.

They exited the flower shop together and headed out onto the sidewalk. The winter sun gave the street a sharp, crisp quality.

Eren had such a heavy mood all around him, so Armin tried to be funny to make him feel better. But all of Armin's work didn't pay off because Eren's gloom was stubborn.

"Wanna get some takeout?" Eren suggested lamely.

"Eren, you've had takeout every day for almost a week now." Armin looked over at him pitifully, "Let's get something good to eat, okay? My treat."

"Alright, fine then." Eren agreed.

They ambled down the street, talking while window shopping down the block.

During midday time in the city, it felt like a beehive. The incessant rumbling and buzzing of cars, the unnecessary hooting, the sighs of braking buses rolling to a standstill at the gleaming red stoplights.

Even babies were crying somewhere in the distance. It felt like New York. No, it was worse than New York. A city like this was a nightmare.

Still, it's home. And Eren felt happy to live in the same city as someone like you, even if he only ever got to see you and not talk to you.

If there were god above, then they took great pity on Eren that day, and cast a spell of luck over him and you. In this beehive rush at midday, Armin and Eren wound up at a secluded restaurant.

It was one of those restaurants that the eye easily skips over unless you're really hungry. The only reason you visited there was because your mom and grandmother ran it together.

It had been some time since you'd been to visit, though, so really... this was a truly lucky day.

The doorbell chimed, it sounded rusty, and Eren entered with Armin at his side. The latter scanned his environment with bright eyes, but his best friend didn't have even a trace of light in his gaze.

That is, until he caught a glimpse of your hair from behind.

"Armin, three o'clock." Eren whispered into his ear.

"I saw, I saw." Armin nodded, noticing you an instant after Eren did. He had a lopsided grin on his face.

You were cheerily talking to your mom, by chance, about the boy who works at the florist's down the block.

"Sounds like a match." Your mom teased, "Why not talk to him?"

You shrugged, "He doesn't seem to be interested. I mean, otherwise, wouldn't he have talked to me by now? I always visit after checkups, you know, like I said."

Eren and Armin took a seat by the window near the entrance. A soft light filled the restaurant. Each time Eren took a glance at you, he felt like he was laying eyes on an angel.

"Eren, go on." Armin encouraged, "This is prime time to introduce yourself."

Eren pursed his lips, folded his arms on the table, and shook his head slowly.

"Come on, if you don't do something, I will."

"Don't even think about it." Eren snapped.

Armin leaned back in his seat and let out a sigh. His best friend was always stubborn like this.

When your mom came around to take their orders, Armin asked her where the bathroom was. Eren didn't pay much attention, but his friend was brewing a little plan to help him out.

Very smoothly and swiftly, Armin weaved through the tables, went to the bathroom to fix his hair and practice what he would do, and then emerged confidently.

Eren looked over and saw Armin talking to you. At first he felt this confused jealousy, but then watched as you laughed and rose from your lonesome table and walked over to the table he was sat at.

It was all quick, and before Eren could stutter out a confused hello, Armin introduced the two of you.

He did it with a smirk, "This is Eren. Oh, Eren, hope you don't mind, I thought she looked lonely and might want to join us for lunch."

Armin gave Eren a wink.

Hearing your voice once more, and viewing your dark complexion in this angelic light, it had Eren's heart panging nervously in his chest.

But Armin threw jokes around, and lightened the mood, so Eren's tensed shoulders relaxed and he finally eased into the conversation.

Though, you noticed, he stuttered and spoke quietly when you asked him questions.

"Your dad runs the clinic, right?" You asked.

Eren nodded, "Uh, yeah, he does. And my mom runs the florist where I work..."

"You help your mom's florist business?" You tilted your head adoringly at him, "That's so sweet of you. I love that."

Armin pursed his lips to keep from smiling, watching as how Eren's face grew extremely red at your compliments.

"Oh, I just remembered, I've got to return that library book." Armin lied.

"What library boo – ohhh, yeah, you do that..." Eren played along.

Armin rose from his seat, "I'll be back in a bit, it's a long walk." he got to his feet.

"Alright! See you, Armin." You kindly waved goodbye.

And so he left, and left the two of you alone together in that golden light. Good conversation and subtle flirting filled the air between you and Eren.

Clearly this was the start of something good.

[otakween]

Digital Monster X-evolution

If those janky Digimon World cutscenes were a whole movie, it'd be this. To be fair, I think outdated CGI has a lot more charm than a lot of the higher quality but soulless stuff they put out nowadays. Plot-wise it was nothing special, we've seen this plot a zillion times by now. They just injected it with some new gimmicks. I did find the main character charming enough. I honestly wouldn't mind seeing another attempt at an all-CGI movie as long as that didn't become the new default (slippery slope lol).

Notes:

Although the plot of this film was really simple they managed to add some convoluted lore anyways...because Digimon. Just when I was thinking "that was confusing" I saw that this wiki has a 900 page long (not really lol) explanation/play-by-play. Maybe I'll read it when it's not my bed time: https://wikimon.net/Digital_Monster_X-evolution

Of course they had to open the movie with Leomon dying (really?) Why is that a thing? I've never felt emotional seeing any Leomon die tbh lol

I think Dorumon and his digivolutions have really strong designs. His rookie form kinda looks like a furry version of Monodramon. I've been playing Digimon RPG (the MMO) and just by chance ended up with him as my partner (I actually thought I was getting Impmon lol). Fate!

Not a lot of levity here, the script took itself very seriously and the characters spent most of the film just being existential and talking about the meaning of life. Kinda heavy for a silly little monster battle film.

Legit got a little emotional when Dorumon was being bullied, but it's really easy to feel sad for a furry little creature

The CGI actually held up better than I thought it would for the most part, the mecha digimon especially looked awesome. The only "AH! KILL IT WITH FIRE!" moment was Andromon -shudder-

(Of course, Andromon is ugly in any form, but this is definitely his worst).

Weird seeing Omegamon vs. WarGreymon. I was also surprised to see Magnamon in the Royal Knights. He just seems more beast-like to me than the other knights.

Tokomon was one of those "is it cute or is it annoying?" baby characters. I'm leaning more towards cute, but there were moments where I was like "alright, that's enough of him" loi

Dorugamon kinda reminded me of Toothless. I wanna pet his big nose :3c

They just couldn't resist, they had to call something in this franchise "Yggradsil" didn't they

(They also used other Norse names, the same ones used in Ah! My Goddess).

The funky X-forms of digimon were fun, very angular. It reminds me of the newer Pokemon games how they keep adding new gimmicky forms. I'm sure we'll be seeing more of these. I guess in a way, this is a more realistic "evolution" since it has to do with the digimon reacting to their environment by developing antibodies.

I saw people complaining that Frontier only had two Royal Knights, well I guess they made up for it a bit here. Are they always gonna be working for the villain side? I wanna see a series where they're the heroes!

It was neat seeing Silphymon again. I get excited when 02 characters show up cuz it's kind of the underdog season in my mind.

The villain digimon (aside from the royal knights) weren't very well explained they just kinda showed up, caused havoc, then went away. The only reason why I have a name for any of them is cuz I read the wiki. I guess it would be hard to naturally fit in all the names...

The name "Alphamon" was kind of an eyeroll. They're running out of epic names lol. (Also, it just makes me think of alpha bros nowadays). The design is nice tho, it's got the black w/ gold highlights thing that I liked in Frontier.

Lots of badass cape shots in this (see my final screenshot above)

At the end of the movie the digital world was destroyed and then restored (Frontier much?) It wasn't really clear what that meant for the digimon. Did they all just resurrect via digiegg? Were they recreated exactly as they were before the world's destruction? -shrug-

Pretty sad that this movie never got any love in the states. I wonder if there's a fandub out there somewhere.

Apparently Digimon World 4 is related to this movie so I'll be playing that next!

[rorykillmore]

if you have been as intrigued as i am by oz perkins' LONGLEGS (2024), here is a very preliminary shot by shot breakdown of its teaser trailer! will we discover anything profound? probably not, but there are some spoilers and speculation/potential spoilers under the cut, so if you want to go in completely blind, be mindful

maika monroe herself in our opening shot, standing in front of her crime board. which seems to mostly feature a cipher (one of what appears to be several that this movie and its marketing are using).

are we to assume that something Bad is happening in this car? probably.

next shot is cut as though this little girl is reacting to whatever is happening outside. i was squinting at whatever is on her desk because i have a feeling it may be important (for reasons mentioned later) but it is difficult to tell.

someone (maika monroe?) is doing research on what appears to be demonology or something related to it. titles of the books are 'a guide to the nine circles of hell' and 'the dark lord's hand' (both books were presumably created for the movie as they don't come up in any searches). beneath the books are notebooks in which she seems to be attempting to decode that cipher (maybe the killer is leaving our protagonist coded hints)

this opening of the book is intercut with a shot i did not include (to save space/because i had little to say about it individually) of the investigators opening a door to a dark room (murder scene?), which is a cool thematic thing. it also precedes...

also this shot is more heavily featured in this teaser with a cipher that when translated reads "hail satan" (check out the decoding work this person has done). well! if we had any doubt that these killings have some kind of religious motivation.

this is the 'guide to the nine circles of hell' book, but i can't make out the text with any clarity. to the right, perhaps another decoding effort is happening -- but i actually think this is maika trying to figure something out about the victims here. the order in which they're going to die, maybe? their locations/how they are chosen? there's a list of people's names beside a field of numbers, and she's drawing a line through some of the numbers.

starting to notice something odd with the aspect ratio - pay attention to how it swaps between standard widescreen and this more voyeuristic type of shot (you also saw this earlier, in the winter shots of the car and the girl), and we'll see if there seems to be any logic to that.

our first look at nic cage! is it scenes involving him/related to him specifically which are shot differently? maybe to induce said voyeuristic quality surrounding him and his kills? regardless: he's busy in his little workshop here. there's a nic cage interview floating around that seems to indicate that his character kills via creating cursed dolls or puppets which drive families insane in a sinister-esque fashion, which would check out here

something wicked is afoot in this hardware store (?) (i can't actually tell what is being sold here)

in presumably the same store, we see an unknown figure offer this girl some kind of small figurine (???). possibly nic cage planting one of his dolls (this is also why i was paying attention to the other girl's desk in the earlier shots, to see if she had anything similar). does he work here? (worth noting however that this is shot in the regular widescreen aspect ratio)

maika is finished with her triangle recreation.... but perhaps she is not alone

few interesting things to note here. 1) woman is getting hit in the back with an axe (in her own home, seemingly not expecting it, lending credence to the killer's MO). her murderer (husband? unsure) appears to be covered in blood. 2) she bears a resemblance to this woman, from a promotional poster and the setting looks as though it's the same one from this teaser. (cipher reads: "stood upon the sand of the sea", referring to a quote from the book of revelation describing a HYDRA, hmm)

3) a change of aspect ratio again, which immediately intercuts with....

maika flinching backwards as though bearing witness to this. could be just some misleading trailer editing, but the implication here is that she is 'seeing' these murders take place somehow. actually, maybe THAT explains the change of aspect ratio? it happens when we're seeing her "visions"?

gonna cover these quicker shots a few at a time: a shadow stumbling/dragging itself through a house as though wounded (not sure if it's the axe-in-the-back woman, because the house looks a little more modern, plus - different aspect ratio), an eerie figure in the woods (feels strangely out of place), another shot of nic cage in his workshop(?) (again with the aspect ratio switch - so if we follow the theory that these are maika monroe's visions, she definitely has some kind of direct connection TO him and not just a voyeuristic connection to his victims).

a person (i initially thought a woman, but that could actually very well be nic cage with his long, scraggly hair) slamming their head into a desk. the shot has interrogation room vibes (to me) but is too bare bones to make out for sure. maika is either... watching/interviewing (that's a camera beside her?) or this is another intercut reaction shot implying their connection.

(i didn't capture it but these shots are also intercut with images of red, gurgling blood, which seems a bit more deliberate than just an edgy choice - if there is a ritualistic element to these murders, perhaps it has something to do with blood)

i think this is nic cage again, but why is he upside down? interesting. unless i AM wrong, they actually show him a lot more in this trailer than initially assumed.

we're in maika-vision (calling it that until further notice) here again, this time to look at some kind of demonic entity (the same one we saw in that earlier shot of the woods?). this calls into question the objectivity of this voyeurism-whatever-it-is, although... obviously this film does have very clear supernatural elements, so hell, maybe nic cage IS being instructed by a demon.

another very clear intercut between maika and nic cage. is that nic cage?! it REALLY does not look like him from this profile angle, but it is possible that they've done some prosthetic work on his face (which they have been very careful not to show in full quite yet - nor do i think they should, since he is such a well known guy. you don't want your audience getting comfortable with him in this role before they actually see him.)

but i digress: another moment where the editing is implying an important connection or parallel (maika seems to be losing it a little - which i would too if i could no longer separate my identity from a killer's and/or their victims)

going forward i would pay attention to how promotional material for this movie is edited In General because they are using it as a very deliberate communicative tool at least in this teaser!

another couple of notable shots. in the first one, a woman (a nun? she seems to be wearing a habit, similar to another woman we will see later) fires a rifle into what seems to be an already blood-splattered car. then (which i didn't include) we see Maika With A Gun (hi maika), and what appears to be a car chase.

in maika-vision again, a man who has seemingly just got done slaughtering all of his cows. probably safe to call an animal harm content warning for this one, pals

ah! that WAS nic cage in the car paralleled to maika -- look at how he's dressed here. yet again they are deliberately hiding his face (also note the background - it would seem that yes, he is working at some kind of paint/hardware store).

two more maika vision shots. the first is the woman we see featured in this poster. the second is a small child who is closing a door to avoid watching whatever they're looking at. neither is having a good day!

there is a targeted amount of religious violence here, which makes sense if our killer is demonically motivated

and last but not least, nic cage murdering a guy (gender neutral) (interesting though because i hadn't assumed him to be the hands-on type given his rather indirect MO).

anyway: that's the longlegs trailer! the most telling takeaway here, in my opinion, is: how much it does actually focus on this sort of duality between maika monroe and nicolas cage and some apparent connection between them. my instinct is that that's going to be the meat of the story (although there is clearly a deeper mythology to explore too -- the cipher, the demon, the nature of the kilings).

one more thing to note: this movie seems to take place over the span of several decades. the teaser posters/captions released by neon are dated by year and reflect as much, and if you're looking for it you can see the aesthetics shift around a bit in the trailer as well.

send me your theories/observations! eager to see if anyone puts some pieces together that i might have missed.

[pandasmagorica]

First watch: The Miracle of Teddy Bear episodes 1-3

A huge ka bun krap to @lurkingshan for pointing me to The Miracle of Teddy Bear finally being posted to YouTube. I'm three episodes in and I'm hooked!

There's a great balance between humor, sweetness and darkness. I understand this series has a bittersweet ending, and I'm ready for that. I would have been surprised based on the first episode, but they're definitely setting things up to earn that ending.

The following has some mild reveals but I don't think they'll ruin anything. I'm putting them after the cut just in case.

The main couple is kind of an enemies to lovers trope - Nut can't stand Tofu but tolerates him because he believes it's his fault Tofu is in the condition he's in, an apparent amnesiac who can't remember how to behave in society, as well as (Tofu suspects) Tofu looking exactly like Nut's high school crush. Tofu doesn't help the situation by his failure to out himself as Nut's teddy bear turned human, something he could easily prove by relating their past together, such as the movies they've watched or that the family dog tore Tofu's leg off and Nut's mother Na sewed it back on.

The part that's hardest to deal with is Nut's ongoing anger at his mother. The mother is not well and hallucinates, so it's clearly a stressor between them. But so much for the Thai cultural respect for parents - his intensity in expressing that anger to Na was shocking to me and I rather imagine it's even more shocking for Thai audiences.

The obviously budding May-August side couple is hilarious. Watching the May character flirt with his "Uncle" is a trip, as is the August's parents shipping him at dinner. I have a feeling we'll need that comic relief as the darker elements of the series intensify.

We also get comedy relief from the various inanimate objects in the house who can talk to Tofu.

On the down side, subtitles are distractingly sloppy: Thai for "Wait!" becomes "Waiting" and I think that's happening for other one-verb commands. They seem to be randomly choosing third-person pronouns, even within the same sentence, switching back and forth between "he" and "she" and "it" for the same person, even for first-person (I know that sometimes the same pronoun is used for first and third person in Thai, but that doesn't work in English), and it's sometimes confusing enough to me that I'm not sure who they are talking about. "That's not how you do it" becomes "That's not how it happened." Something, I don't know what, became "Perception." (Yes, as a sentence.) "P'Nut" becomes "Nuts". "Na" (Nut's mom) randomly becomes "N/A" (not applicable). They mix "kiss" and "hug" as if they meant the same thing. There is plenty more mysterious nonsense that I have no idea what they are talking about. Plus they're burned in to the video, which is not my favorite way to experience subtitles, since it takes away my control of how they look. I can overlay them with my preference, but the double subtitles are distracting over and above the quality issues so I'm putting up with the burned-in ones.

As a side note, the story idea reminds me of the classic queer play Stray Dog Story by the late Robert Chesley, in which a dog becomes human, he and his human have a night making love, but then the human is killed in a gay bashing and the dog turned human is left to make it on his own. It is a very dark play.

Okay, here's the cut. Or continue with episodes 4-5.

There's some dark stuff brewing, though, as Tofu seems to trade consciousness with a comatose activist who was rescued after being left on an active railroad track to die. I'm clowning this to be what makes the ending bittersweet: if Tofu is getting his human form by taking it from the activist, then if Tofu were to remain human, the activist would remain in a coma until he dies. So Tofu has to go back to being a teddy bear so the activist can come out of the coma. I do think Nut and Tofu will become lovers before Tofu goes back to being a teddy bear, thus bittersweet.

I am also clowning that Nut will be aware by that time that Tofu is his teddy bear come to life, and that it will come out by accident rather than by Tofu intentionally coming out. They may even become aware of the link between Tofu and the activist and that Tofu needs to go back to being a teddy bear to revive the activist (although that would imply they can figure out the how part, something Tofu clearly doesn't know as of the end of episode 3).

If you've seen the entire series I respectfully request that you do not spoil my clowns.

Tofu gained consciousness as an inanimate object long before the activist was put into a coma, so it's a bit of a plot hole that human Tofu's losing consciousness other than by sleeping wakes up the activist. Logical or not, this rule of the series universe is set up clearly and I expect to see it play out more as the series progresses. It would be particularly sad if Tofu has to give up his inanimate consciousness when he goes back to being a teddy bear.

And it's clear that, with what already looks like an attempted murder, things are going to get very dark during the series.

I do see Nut starting to soften toward Tofu, even as Nut likes to keep his gruff exterior.

The real reason for Nut's anger at his mother comes out at the end of episode 3.

As for the side couple, there was a tropey fall-kiss, but at least they waited until the third episode by which time I was already hooked on the series. Plus the May-on-August flirtation had already been going on for at least two episodes, so it wasn't as bad as some past fall-kisses I've seen. Definitely not abandoning the series over this one.

Continue with episodes 4-5.

[emsylcatac]

Hi! i left the mlb fandom about a year ago and youre the only content creator i remember from back then. If its not too much to ask could you tell us what exactly is going on in the show?

Hi there!

So I haven't been too active as of late so I'm not sure I'm fully up to date with everything, but I'll try to recap what I know.

Did you finish season 5 or not? I can't recall if it ended a year a go or a bit less than that. I'm assuming you have but if you haven't and want more details on it feel free to ask!

👉 Otherwise, S5 technically marks the end of the "Gabriel / Monarch/Hawkmoth arc" - but a lot was left unfinished so I don't think it's the last we'll hear of him.

👉 Since then, we got another special episode of 45-50 min (the "Paris special" - I think they named it something like "Miraculous, tails of Shadybug and Claw Noire " or something) which is basically telling us that there's a multiverse in ML - in it we saw the Marinette and Adrien from another universe where their Hawkmoth is the hero and they're the villains, though it's more complicated than that. They end up in the "canon" ML universe in it. I think Thomas said we'll hear from them again, so not sure yet how much they're planning on including the multiverse in the next seasons. If you want to watch it to know more, I'm not exactly sure where to cause I just saw miraculous.to was down - but maybe have a look at this discord server if you don't mind watching it dubbed in French & subbed in English cause they do amazing translating work and they should have it.

👉 They've announce recently that a new special was coming up, set up right after the end of season 5 (I don't know yet if it's right after the wish was made or right after the actual end of S5). It'll happen in London. You'll find posters for it here and here. As for the summary, the only thing I recall seeing is this. I think they said it should get released in the 4th quarter of this year - so likely fall or winter.

👉 As for season 6, we've had a poster and a summary, and I believe they've started to animate it recently. They also announced it should start to be released in the 4th quarter of this year, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's more around the start/spring of next year if they've barely started to animate it (though I don't know much about how animation work so I could be wrong haha).

They also won't be working anymore with the past animation studios, and will be working with a new one for season 6, Zag shared that which I gotta say... I need to see more to fully judge cause while I don't mind them improving the animation quality and rendering and all, I don't want them to "polish" their feature and give them a different art style 😅 I think it's the same animation studio than the movie so all I'm asking is for them to not have the same face as in the movie hahaha

I believe that's all I know and it's probably the main stuff going on 🤔 hope that helped and again if you were looking for details on S5 I can try to give you a summary but you'll have to tell me where you stopped cause a lot happened 😅

[hrodvitnon]

The trailer's finally out. Though while not terrible as Skull Island: Rise of Kong, it does seem to have a mixed reception so far.

Though it might be just me, but I get the feeling that Godzilla not having a major role in this one might turn out to be a blessing in disguise later on. Because oof, Kong's model looks kinda rough there.

At the very least, Tiamat seems to be in the game too, so we'll just have to wait and see. That said, I definitely don't expect this game to win any awards any time soon lol

Licensed games are going to be a mixed bag in terms of quality anyway, so that sounds about right. The best ones I've played were Godzilla: The Series on Game Boy Color and The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King on GameCube. The former I remember being fun once I figured out how to beat the first boss, and the latter's a great game, though the Gandalf levels were frustrating as hell and Aragorn had a tendency to YELL HIS LINES. Also, imagine Sam and Frodo slaughtering waves of orcs at Pelennor Fields, 'cause you could do that. I miss that game.

Granted, Kong's not looking his best here, but I don't really mind that. I always preferred a stylized art direction over hyper-photorealistic graphics in video games (I'll take Dragon Age 2 over Inquisition any day) and thanks to The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, I find that janky graphics can be charming. Plus, I can excuse how a game looks as long as I have fun playing it, which is really the more important factor to me. That being said, I also expect the gameplay to have its share of jank, because not every licensed game is going to be on the same level as RotK or PS4 Spidey.

And if I'm being honest, I'm mostly interested in getting Kong: Survival Instinct if only so I can stream it on Discord, so me and the squad can laugh and have fun, and so I can scream at Abaddon! (Games that make you scream in fear are fun.) It's like the difference between playing, I dunno, Resident Evil 5/6 alone versus playing it with a friend so you can go "did you see that shit?!" "I did!" "LMAO RIGHT??" instead of just watching what happens on your own with no one to bounce off. Maybe it'll be like watching a So Bad It's Good movie with friends over beer and pizza, which is always a good idea.

[valentina-arrington]

Should she really be doing this? Wasn't it so selfish of her?

It was the evening of the 30th of the December and Valentina was in her kitchen, lost in thought.

Since having moved back to her mother's hometown in Marbella earlier in the year, Valentina had been spending a lot of quality time with her family to make up for a decade's worth of lost time. That night, it was her turn to host the family dinner, a treat she always looked forward to. But unlike all the other times she's cooked for her family, Valentina's heart had not been in it — or much of anything else — as of late. Though grateful for their time together, recent events have made it that much harder to hide her less-than-spirited mood.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

Valentina blinked as her mother's voice brought her back to reality.

"Hmm?"

The older Valentina — to whom she was named after — smiled knowingly, gesturing for her daughter to scoot over so she could take over washing the dishes.

"You've been buried deep in your thoughts lately, my darling," she observed, pulling the yellow rubber gloves over her own two hands. "Everything okay?"

Of course, Valentina wanted to say. But not once has she ever lied to her mother, and starting now would be moot — she'd know immediately. Mothers always know.

"Not really," Valentina admitted as she helped her mother with drying the newly washed dishes, and putting them away.

"A boy?"

Valentina glanced sideways at her mother, in awe. Then, returning her focus back on the task at hand, it took her a couple of minutes to finally nod her head yes.

"The same one who came to visit you a couple of months ago?" Valentina nodded a second time. "You were so happy when he was here," her mother remembered. "Why the sudden change?"

"It's... complicated," she mumbled, unable to look her mother in the eye. An understatement if there ever was one.

"The best things in life usually are. But they don't always have to be." That piqued Valentina's curiosity. "Life is difficult as is, my darling girl, so if there is anything you can do to help the situation in some way or another, don't let anyone or anything hold you back."

Glancing sideways at her mother, it was all she could do not to break down in tears. Oh, how she wished she could just tell her everything, like she's always done in the past. Even when she lived in Mallorca. But she saw no point to it now when everything felt impossible.

Finishing the dishes, the older Valentina wiped her hands clean before placing a doting hand on her daughter's face. Looking her in the eye, she spoke as gently as gentle mothers do.

"It's almost the end of the year, my darling. And it's high time you do something for yourself for once."

"But—..."

Her mother followed her gaze.

There, in the dimly lit living room was her son Diego, slowly nodding off against her brother Oliver's arm. With a quiet movie playing, Oliver seemed to be the only one watching as his wife, Alice, was curled up on his other side, fast asleep.

"He'll be fine, I promise," her mother reassured her. "We'll take good care of him until you come back."

***

An hour and a few goodbyes later, Valentina found herself in line for the ticket counter at the Malaga Airport. Wrecked with nerves, it was her mother's words that echoed in her ear as she waited for her turn. The closer she got to the front of the queue, the louder her heart hammered against her chest.

"Diego will be just fine, Valé," Oliver had reiterated their mother's words as he drove his little sister to the airport. "Being a good mother means you get to be happy, too, you know?"

Valentina hadn't even said anything, how did he know her son's well-being was the root cause of her guilt? Probably the same way their mother knew that something had been bothering her as of late.

"Next please!"

Valentina had to be called twice before snapping out of her thoughts. Heading straight for the next available counter, she greeted the airport staff before quickly apologising for making her wait.

"It's fine, Miss," the lady replied with a gracious smile. "How may I help you?"

This is it. No turning back.

With one deep breath, Valentina reached for her purse. Handing over her credit card and passport, she finally bought the one ticket she'd been so terrified to get. But she figured, despite the uncertainty of the future, she knew she had to see him at least one last time.

Even if it was to say goodbye.

* All conversations are in Spanish.