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wolf 359 Halloween party costumes

Doug: wearing a han solo vest and lightsaber that he already owned

Minkowski: very lovingly homemade star trek costume that sucks a little bit, if you ask she'll act like she just got it at target but it's clearly hand sewn

Hera: doug is trying to convince maxwell to make hera a C3PO body

Hilbert: doesn't dress up

Kepler: putting a lot of effort into a very generic costume. he's like, a normal vampire but he's gonna get really neurotic about getting the right brand of fangs

Jacobi: using it as an excuse to wear a cool jacket but he just looks like an asshole

Maxwell: aperture science tshirt. doug tries to start a conversation about portal with her but she pretends she doesn't know what he's talking about

Cutter: slightly more elaborate three piece suit than what he normally wears. maybe a cravat?

Pryce: cutter put fake spiderwebs in her office

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the energy for tonight is Significantly Lower but we persist regardless. episode 3 be upon ye

there’s something to be said about just how robotic hera sounds, especially in this episode, since one of her only purposes here is to relay information from hilbert like she’s some sort of amazon alexa rather than an actual member of the crew with her own thoughts and feelings on the whole biannual physical thing. sure it could be explained by “oh, the writers wanted to introduce her as an ai rather than a crew member so it could be deconstructed later, it was their decision”. but i think it gets a little more interesting if you think of it as being hera’s choice. because she’s still incredibly young at this point, barely two years old, and she knows that if she does anything to piss the “real” members of the crew off, they could report her to goddard the moment they got back home and she would be disposed of because cutter and pryce would determine she clearly hasn’t learned her lesson. because mind you, everyone still thinks they’re going home, right now, and soon. and hera has no idea what’s going to happen to her when their rotation is over, so she might as well be as pleasant and agreeable as she can so that she has a hope of surviving when all is said and done.

also? i think it says something that eiffel was behind minkowski one hundred percent when she first pitched her alibi as to why she couldn’t participate in the physical (before things went bad) instead of immediately ratting her out to buy himself more time. it’s surprisingly incredibly selfless of him, and something i think gets forgotten when people talk about how much of a dick he is in the earlier seasons (which, don’t get me wrong, he still is)

once again, i HATE those LOUD ASS RADIO STATIC TRANSITIONS. cannot WAIT to get past those

i know this is definitely just because gabriel needed a silly concept to set hilbert up as “sketchy scientist guy”, but what the HELL is actually up with these exams and why do they need to be so brutal, my god, he does NOTHING like that for the rest of the mission even when he’s explicitly seeing eiffel for decima reasons. mans is fucked up /j

obviously i’m gonna say something about the “i could kiss you” comment. i will never forgive blessie for fucking around and distracting minkowski from actually processing what he said there

again, the deliveries here (and usually always) are incredible. especially on “wITH NAPALM, YOU MORON”. these actors are everything to me

that’s all i’m really up for tn, there’s more i have in my head but i fear if i continue to type for much longer instead of going to bed i’ll explode <3

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I love Wolf 359 trans headcanons those motherfuckers are all trans I love it nom nom nom

However

I will explode you with my mind (/bit) if you exclusively and consistently headcanon BOTH Lovelace and Jacobi and ONLY Lovelace and Jacobi as trans

And Here's Why

The available reasons for singling out these two and only these two are thus:

1. Lovelace is loud, authoritative, and controlling.

2. Jacobi is often depicted in fanon as Kepler's smaller, sassier, more flamboyant counterpart.

Whether it's intentional or not, headcanoning only Lovelace and Jacobi as trans plays heavily into stereotypes. Lovelace is the most "masculine" woman on the show, and Jacobi is usually considered the most "feminine" man. They get these headcanons more often because they're assigned traditional roles for the opposite gender. It kind of follows the logic that trans women are all loud and manly, while trans men are flamboyant and small. (Plus, fan art often shows Lovelace as tall, muscular and butch, while Jacobi is often thin and conventionally attractive.)

Am I saying trans headcanons for Lovelace and Jacobi are bad?

Absolutely not!

Jacobi staring down an externalization of himself, then being constantly unsure about his identity and uncomfortable with the way others perceive him? THAT'S A TRANS MOOD

Lovelace being biologically different from her peers, trying desperately to find comfort in a body that isn't her own while attempting to pass as "normal" for the comfort of others? ALLEGORY ALLEGORY ALLEGORY PLEASE GIVE ME MORE

I swear. I am not trying to shit on anyone. I adore trans hcs for all my Lil Guys. Just please please please I'm begging you to reflect on why you're assigning these headcanons to these particular people. Think about it

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kepler dehumanizing lovelace and reducing her to her status as a clone and calling her an "it" in episode 46 is AWFUL when you think about jacobi still not knowing if he's a clone or not from the events of ep 42. he's scared to talk about it because he fears one of the people he trusted most is going to experiment on him

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Can yuo draw Lovelace and Jacobi hitting the gay bar

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Episode 1 Dr. Hilbert sounds like he has hair,,, does this make sense???

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guess who actually followed through on that relisten :D

anyway here’s my thoughts from the first episode

every time i hear eiffel say min-cow-ski at this point i have to suck in a breath through my teeth it hurts that much

how the hell did he manage to smuggle TWENTY CARTONS of cigarettes in his pants. i never realized just how damn many he had. how did he get them there.

the way he just says “outstanding 😀” after hearing complete radio silence makes me giggle

the second i heard minkowski’s voice i had to pause the podcast for. a solid minute while i giggled and kicked my feet. it’s so bad.

i had to pause again when she said “excuse me?” god she’s so. anyway—

i know this is the first episode and they have to get the exposition out of the way but like. they’ve been there for a year and a half. minkowski should know eiffel better than to ask if he’s read the damn manual. i just think it’s silly

also? the fact that she knows exactly where his stash is hidden and still has yet to confiscate all of them just so she can blackmail him is amazing. i support her

HERA SOUNDS LIKE SUCH A BABY IN THIS EPISODE. SHE SOUNDS SO YOUNG. I LOVE HER. I MISSED MY DAUGHTER

speaking of daughters? i��m still 100% of the belief that eiffel calling her sweetheart is a Dad Response™️ idc idc

but also the way he tells her to shut up makes me want to strangle him every time

THE RETURN OF SILLYBERT. I DONT CARE HOW UNATTRACTIVE AND INACCURATE IT IS I LOVE ZACH’S EARLY VOICE FOR HIM IT BRINGS ME JOY

“something… less destructive. a hairdryer perhaps” sir you are bald

anyway i love them i missed them prepare for me to be SO annoying

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new drawing and also new Kepler design !!

I definitely think that at some point there‘d be a mission where Kepler and Maxwell would have to pose as a couple and in my head that would be like the funniest thing because they would be absolutely horrible at pretending to be in love with each other

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started on a minkowski turnaround and realised i hadn't really ironed out her design yet so rejoice. minkowski be upon ye

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tiny-fies your SI-5 〰️〰️〰️〰️

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Things In Wolf 359 That Make Me Itch

- During Hilbert’s funeral, despite being the only one who knew (or at least, the only one who Hilbert directly told), Eiffel didn’t use his real name.

- Time rewinding for only one person, rooms appearing and disappearing; pretty much everything that was in Minkowski’s message in Am I Alone Now?

- Lovelace is, technically, dead.

- We don’t know what happened to Hera when they made it to earth.

- We don’t even know if they made it to earth.

- We got one glimpse of the crew of the Hermes, about how fun-loving they were, how well they worked together, everyone’s dynamic—and then we see them again, and they’re mindless robots. They can’t think, ever again.

- Jacobi’s clone.

- There’s so much more to Cutter’s story that we don’t know, other than he’s decades older than Pryce. (He’s DECADES older than Pryce.)

- Eiffel’s memories of the Harry Potter books were separated into 1-4 and 5-7, but 1-4 were destroyed first, so he had memories of 5-7, and obviously he understood why events happened but would he? Because the context would be missing so somewhere he would’ve understood them but would he have? Really?

- Just the whole Eiffel memory thing. Because amnesia is such a finicky thing. Like, you remember items and food and how to do things but you don’t remember people or places. Memories are swept under the rug. Hidden from sight, but still there. But with Eiffel it was like… all of his memories were destroyed. Not swept out of sight, not hidden. Destroyed. Vacuumed. That includes things that he learned. Math, for example, was mentioned. So was learning to ride a bike (I think). But how, then, would he know what a spaceship was? How would he know what anything was? Wouldn’t he just simply become like someone who was literally “born yesterday”? Maybe know how to talk and how to do things but just. Not know what anything was?

- Kepler’s death.

- Rachel. Just something about her… I don’t know. I want to know more.

- Why Maxwell had a restraining order against her family. (whether they were sorry when they learned she died. If they even knew she was still alive, or if the world thought she was dead)

- We don’t know if Minkowski’s husband had moved on.

- We don’t know if the Plant Monster is still floating in space.

- Whether or not the star turned back to red. This might’ve been mentioned and it wasn’t brought up, but I don’t know.

- There are dozens, maybe hundreds of other AIs with Hera’s voice. Pryce’s voice. Whatever.

- Eiffel might’ve learned sign language and now that knowledge is just… gone.

- We don’t know if his daughter knows that it was his fault.

- We’ll never know if somewhere, deep inside, he still knows too.

- The memory Lovelace had wasn’t real. Or most of it wasn’t real, anyway. Was anything she remembered real? Was it a combination of hundreds of memories put into a story? Or was it really something that happened to her?

- Box 953 was meant ONLY for Eiffel. Why? Because he was the communications officer? Or… because of something else?

- Jacobi trusted Kepler. He trusted him through life and death. Kepler knew that. But even when Jacobi got to a point where he couldn’t keep going, where he was just as willing as everyone else to put Kepler away, Kepler kept going.

- Jacobi was 100% prepared to miss. (Lovelace thought he missed.)

- Minkowski shot Maxwell.

-Minkowski and Eiffel had that exact same conversation dozens of times. But he never listened until then.

- EIFFEL MADE A LES MIS REFERENCE. TO MINKOWSKI. AND THEN ALL ABILITY FOR HIM TO HAVE A LEGIBLE CONVERSATION WITH HER ABOUT LES MIS WAS DESTROYED. AND I WILL FOREVER BE ANGRY ABOUT THIS

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I HOPE ALL MY AMERICAN FRIENDS OLD ENOUGH TO VOTE ARE VOTING IN THIS ELECTION 😁 I WOULD LOVE TO KEEP MY RIGHTS ACTUALLY THAT WOULD BE FUN 😁

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Diversity win! The unscrupulous demolitions expert trying to kill you likes the menfolk.

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kinda want to hit this kepler guy witj a floorboard

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eiffel is such a bad liar it is maddening to listen to like MAN come ON you have GOT TO BE BETTER THAN THIS you are going to RUIN THE SECRET PLAN

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Something about Jacobi’s clone in “time to kill” really messes me up. Because, like, after you listen to the episode where you find out that Lovelace isn’t the original Lovelace, we also find out that the clones don’t actually know that they aren’t the original person. The Jacobi clone was completely convinced that he was the original, so when the others left him outside, his last thought was probably that his friends had just made the worst possible mistake they could have made in that situation, that they had left him, the real Jacobi, to die and now they’re all in danger because there is something else that isn’t him on the ship with them. He died thinking that theres this thing that’s taking his place. This is the worse case scenario and there was nothing he could do about it. On the other hand, the real Jacobi, (assuming that the real Jacobi was the one inside the ship the whole time), had to listen to himself die. And i bet that after he finds out about how Lovelace is an alien, he thinks to himself, what if he isn’t the real Jacobi, that the real Jacobi died when they left him outside, and that he is the alien and just doesn’t know it. Because how could he know that? Lovelace didn’t, and he would never have any solid proof that he doesn’t know either. I bet it drives him a bit crazy, if he constantly has that thought going through his head.

I dont know. I think about this quite often.

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"It will knock her out for the next twelve hours, plenty of time for the talent show window to elapse." Love Hilbert's assumption, which Eiffel does not contest, that Minkowski is such a stickler for policy and procedure that she will immediately stop making them do the talent show if they exit the official window for such activities instead of just calling a raincheck and making them do it the next day.