#if theres one thing i cant stand its those who think that sort of thing is just a fun spice to throw in for funsies looking at u hstlerose

[crearuru]

Tumblrs new streamlined mobile notifications page sucks all the ass i did not need to have a Quirky Smooth Mini.alist Redesign of the interface i use to check my messages, i really did not need it when im still recovering from a nasty tooth abscess/sinus infection, and i ESPECIALLY did not need it when im still reeling from that jackass who hid their Scandalous Jealousy Narrative fic snippet in the middle of a cute post about mice and mousegirls designed to make you put your guard down

[the-s1lly-corner]

Various crps x reader who struggles w/ self care

I miss old creepypasta fandom sometimes (unrelated to the post)

Characters: slenderman, eyeless jack, nina the killer, masky

Notes: reader is GN, can be read as romantic or platonic, very self indulgent for the admin but hes keeping it mostly open/vague so those can also enjoy this, admin uses any pronouns for nina

CWs: none

SLENDERMAN

still in love with the idea that hes not fully aware of your needs as a human but hes knows the bare basic minimum- something about him not being a human himself and not regularly interacting with them to know what to look out for blah blah blah/lh

notices youre a little more down than usual and he does his best to find out whats wrong- are you sick? tired? hurt? is his human okay? its kind of like seeing someone fret over their pet, except its this old cryptid and his human friend

mostly stands off to the side and quietly passes you some water and snacks, keeps your glass full so you dont have to keep getting up- or a bottle of water if you would prefer!

though its not unlikely for him to get more assertive with his care, he might just pull you away from bed and try to get you cleaned up. if you let him hes going to be doing everything for you

will interfere with outside things so you can have a day to yourself to rest and recover (ex. fizzing out work calls, messing with any electronics if anyone is bothering you, ect ect, god forbid someones actually making you feel horrible on purpose)

EYELESS JACK

very good at reminding you to drink water and take your meds (if you have them), i like to think that sometimes he lives vicariously through you because you can still eat human foods and that bleeds into generally what you need to put in your body-

what i mean to say is that he is great at keeping track of things for you if you struggle with it! time, energy, or just not having the motivation, hes making sure you get what you need even if you cant do it yourself

does his best to get you some extra boost of vitamins and stuff in an attempt to boost your energy/mood, obviously he knows its not going to be a magic fix but its better than nothing.. hes the one cooking though! for reasons that align with the first bullet point!

very straight forward and blunt when asking if theres anything wrong, he can come off as disinterested or annoyed based off of his tone but genuinely hes trying his best to help you open up... jack himself isnt used to opening up so he doesnt have much experience being gentle and soft

brushes through your hair before you both go to bed

NINA THE KILLER

nina can be a bit of a hypocrite when it comes to this sort of thing as they tend to not... take very good care of themselves.. though its mostly out of not remembering to keep to a routine

does her best to get you to go out and do something with her that will eventually lead to you taking care of yourself in some way- asking you out for lunch or doing an activity that gets you extremely messy so you have to go take a shower

if your lack of proper self care is caused by any personal struggles you may be facing, nina makes it more than clear that you can go to them to talk

easily the most non judgmental person ever, you can tell her nearly everything and shes not going to think of you any differently

opens up about her own struggles to make you feel less alone

THE monarch of reminding you to take your meds, if you have them

MASKY

watches you from the side like a cat, kind of just keeps an eye on you throughout the day to make sure you're still kicking

will push a plate of snacks and your meds to you- like a cursed little charcuterie board!

he would make you a meal but ignoring the fact hes not a good cook at all, he feels it would be easier on you to just have snacks.. better something than nothing

will keep you in bed if youre tired or sore, will keep you pinned to him if he needs to- you might just take it as him wanting to cuddle...

and he never cuddles so to you this is a once in a blue moon experience!

or do you need to get up and stretch? hes going to do something to get you up, be it pestering you until you come to get him to pipe down or trying to get your assistance for something

might even lift his mask up next to you to get you to brush his teeth with him

[cathartic-crypt]

im continuing my benny posting by sharing my benny hcs. in no particular order. and very quickly typed up. enjoy ^_^

- tattooed. he has lots and lots and lots of tattoos from when he was a boot rider. all kinds of tattoos. some desert themed, some things based around him, some others depicting things he just likes. he doesnt mind them much nowadays, hes so used to them that he sees them as part of his skin. although hes a little bit iffy about showing others his old tattoos. hes got an image to upkeep after all - speaking of boot riders. he got a canine knocked out by bingo during their fight. so he got a gold one fitted shortly after he became the leader of the chairmen. and it glints like hell - he wears lots of gold jewellery. especially pre-war rings. he prefers engraved ones, ones with little images etched into the metal or ones with short messages rather than ones with gems. he also wears a cross necklace under his shirt - despite his gun and necklace...hes not christian. like at all. he doesnt care for religion and hasnt read anything about the engraving on his pistol or the meaning of necklace. he just likes how flashy and elaborate the imagery looks - by the time the courier rolls around hes 31. he's also 5'5". - he has a dad bod. i will personally fistfight anyone who draws him muscular and dehydrated. living the cushy and comfortable life of a casino boss means hes not some lean bodybuilder - however...thats not to say he ISNT strong or that hes unhealthy. he has a really high endurance, and can last for a long while out in the desert. also he doesnt like admitting it but hes probably a fraction better at straight up punching someone than shooting them at point blank range - since he was always outside and always doing something, he used to have super calloused hands. but again, casino life means theyre much more pampered and soft now - however hes still got one hell of a grip. he can very easily grab you by your shirt and throw you out of the front door without even breaking a sweat - hes Bi. theres literally no way he isnt, fuck you. BUT he really isnt one for meaningful romantic connections, he much prefers something quick with zero extra baggage (i.e. one night stands, friends with benefits) - hes super nosy. and almost terrifyingly good at recognising and remembering faces. he sees a new face in the tops that he doesnt instantly match to a regular? he needs to know their name. and then he promptly loses all interest because the mystery is lost and the people turn out to be, by all things considered, really fucking boring - even further...anyone who doesnt fall for his charismatic charm (or, even worse, doesnt care about his reputation) becomes a nuisance and he NEEDS to at least form some sort of impression on them, be it good or bad. like full on “if you dont form an opinion about me i will pull my own hair out” - he used to have an absolute love for geckos. he didnt tame them, he was more so inclined to hunt than to nurture, but he would feed scraps to the younger ones - which meant they began to follow him around from time to time... not anymore though. he thinks theyre dirty and brutish and a reflection of what it was like to be a boot rider - hes called Benny Boots (mockingly) by people around the strip. at least by those who knows about the three families past. other than that his last name is Gecko. he also personally calls himself Benny 'New Vegas' sometimes as a sort of boastful title because he thinks hes the shining face (not the heart, mind you - thats House) of the strip - hes a huge morning person. its something he picked up, and cant get rid of, from the boot rider days. he wakes up super early in the morning, rising with the sun - and hates sleeping in because he feels like hes wasting time. he goes to sleep pretty late, since new vegas is awake at night, but he doesnt feel tired. a couple hours of sleep is good enough for him.

[isa-ah]

so heres my pitch for what happens before dimple shows up in the icmhwau:

teruki and mob are hanging out in the middle of one of black vinegars soccer fields. its after school and the sky is heavy and grey, but it hasnt started to rain just yet. mob snuck a milk carton on his way out so he could come see one of the stray cats that sometimes wander onto the school grounds. this one he knows from sitting by for terukis soccer practice over the last few months.

while hes bent down, making soft sounds and petting it, teruki is standing behind him, hands jammed in his pockets and sneering bc he doesnt do. exactly great. not being the center of attention. hes tapping his toe and waiting for mob to get it over with so they can go when theres this big crack of thunder overhead and the cat goes skittering off toward the trees- just as the sky opens up and theres one of those heavy late spring downpours.

teruki is taken offguard, bracing for the rain, when he realizes hes still stood there dry. mobs got a hand up, having thrown a barrier over them reflexively, and humming his disappointment. he stands, dusting his knees off, and when he turns around teruki tries to look like he hasnt just been standing there watching the whole time.

"can we go now?" rude. but no more rude than he usually is, so mob doesnt really mind. he hums his affirmation but pauses, and then shakes his head. teruki frowns and turns fully toward him in response.

mob kinda stands there, hands flexing and unflexing cause hes really not good at putting things into words in this au. it drags on long enough that teruki is just starting to pull away with a scoff when he is stopped cold like he took a stone to the head.

"teru."

that gets his attention in a big way that makes his stomach roil. mobs never addressed him like this before- maybe a soft hanazawa-kun when he needed to, but the nickname cuts straight to the core and he is on guard immediately.

"i.. was thinking."

and now he is feeling outright defensive. a thousand scenarios playing out right like is mob sick of this? is this going to be bad news? is he trying to sugar coat it? and then, worst case scenario; mob steps forward, and starts to reach for him. his hands are small and bruised, little scars and bandages wrapped around his fingers. teruki put those there, and it feels like an intimacy too sacred and mortifying to be broached.

so teruki panics.

"DONT TOUCH ME!" slapping his hands aside. "you just laid hands on that disgusting vermin, its probably diseased."

and mob stands there looking so shocked teruki feels a thrill of success. derailed. whatever was about to happen has been successfully derailed. he preens, starting to turn to pull the lead before mob can recover, but mob speaks before he can get very far.

"cats are actually very good at grooming." tone flat, dry. it gets under terukis skin. mob never objects.

"yeah right. like im going to hear about hygiene from a brute like you." baseless, and mean, the kind of cutting comment he throws around easy but it seems to catch mob off guard this time.

hes frowning, brows turned down and his hair ruffled by a wind that cant reach them through his barrier. teruki sneers and mob shoves him, hands splayed into his ribs in frustrated defiance. teruki scoffs and pushes him tumbling back onto his ass, standing over him.

& its just instinct tbh, at this point, learned experience from watching teruki get backed into corners with his mouth, when mob mutters, "youre mean." and when teruki looks surprised, he continues. "youre a very mean person."

which teruki is taken aback by. "oh, as if! you dont have a high horse, not when youre just some commoner who happens to listen to instruction better than the rest of them. like you havent picked plenty of your own fights, too." that sort of thing. "its embarrassing that youd even try to come after me when youre just some- some nobody."

& its clearly reaching its mark bc as teruki talks, mobs curling his fingers into the grass and bits of dirt and torn blades are starting to curl up into the stagnant, humid air around them. his hairs started to lift and he looks unhappy.

"oh dont look so surprised. you knew what this was. and beyond that- you dont scare me, kageyama. i could kick your ass and still-"

hes cut off by this dizzying woosh, this spike of energy that makes his head spin, and the vertigo only intensifies as he looks around and realizes the barrier is gone; its not that the rain isnt landing on them, its that the rain isnt landing at all.

mob was definitely not radiating unadulterated power like this last time. he may have.. miscalculated his approach.

& you can imagine it from there. teruki panics and lashes out first, which pushes mob over the edge and suddenly theyre fighting and its UGLY. it makes their initial fight look like a joke. it makes the soccer field look like a battleground. it knocks teru half conscious, held by the throat in mobs sweaty, burning grip with blood dripping into his eyes when hes got an abrupt sense of nausea and something eye piercingly green shoots out his nose with an unceremonious, "oh jesus, kid."

im not like, a writer, but you get the idea. fill it in to be better than i could do it LOLOL mob tried to finally put into words, somewhat, what he feels about teruki, which made teruki FREAK because he doesnt know how to be vulnerable like that, he lashes out at mob, mob lashes out back, the autistic immovable object vs the unstoppable adhd force leading into an rsd death spiral. messy. awful. mob knocks the snot (dimple) out of him lololol

[definitelynotshouting]

i literally can't stop rotating hunger au worldbuilding and lore in my head. forgive me if you've ever touched on this in an ask before, but... re: the existential horror of being a parasite that has the sense of self of the host it ate. if one of grian's friends ever did get taken and used as a watcher larva host. how do you think he would feel about the watcher that came out the other side? would he want to see them as still the same person as his friend, or...?

Ive been staring at this ask since i got it with like. I need you to picture the most comically heartbroken expression right now okay. like this is me reading that and thinking about it in great and terrible detail:

Gods he would be devastated if this ever happened. He knows what thats like. He knows just how much it hurts-- and that its not a hurt that can be quantified, because its just that intense, that scalding, that encompassing of an experience to go through. I think, genuinely, Grian would be so utterly horrified and grief-stricken for whichever friend went through the Watcherification process that it would trump every other potential feeling on the list

But i think, ultimately, he would still view them as his friend, and treat them in the same way. There's a little bit of hypocrisy in Grian's character that i enjoy engaging with while writing him, and a good part of that in hunger au is centered around how he's firmly designated himself as the monster, and everybody else is the victim, and theres no room for nuance because he sucks and theyre the only people who are valid. When in reality, yes he hurt them, yes he did terrible and invasive things, but he did them out of pure survival rather than maliciousness, and that does make a subtle difference. And... hes not the only one who has fucked up, either!! The entire point of hunger au is how everyone has fumbled the bag in various ways and now they're all trying to clean it up together. Its just, yknow, Grian is so wrapped up in his own pain that he cant see those grey areas yet

And the thing is, if one of his friends got Watchered™, so to speak, and was standing in front of him, i think he would treat them with SO much compassion. Theyve been through possibly the worst thing anyone can experience and come out the other side-- at his core, Grian is i think a character who wants to do good, and do good by other people, and in this hypothetical that would translate into a lot of kindness he doesnt usually afford for himself. Honestly i think he'd spend the time trying to show them the ropes, get them set up in a better position than he found himself in, and provide his own fumbling emotional support as best he could, just out of sheer solidarity. Like, he gets it. He's been there. He may as well help out.

And i think he wouldnt even realize how hypocritical he's being until someone else pointed it out to him, about how he treats this friend with so much care but is simultaneously cruel to himself. I dont think he'd know how to handle that-- he's sort of dug himself a rut in the road with the way he thinks about and treats himself, and the cognitive dissonance would be really uncomfortable for him. Ultimately a good thing!!! Growth is often very uncomfortable. But imo Grian has a tendency to run from things like feelings of discomfort, so i think it'd take him a while to reconcile his previous ways of thinking with whats being presented in front of him essentially in the form of a mirror.

So uh. tl;dr: he'd be a little hypocrite about it and would feel a lot more compassionately inclined towards the friend than he does himself, and would try to help them out as best he could. Thank you for the incredible question that has given me the opportunity to rotate this worm at even higher speeds than usual inside my brainpan DKNFEKNDSKDJKDKD

[suffarustuffaru]

The fanbase is scaring me, the redesigns brought up some weird people that are REALLY passionate about Liliana being half naked

Like theres a whole war going on on twitter rn and the poor character designer got harassed

My problem is with the amount of people upset with this, like i knew we had a bunch of pedos around because of the way tappei writes the girls, but damn i didnt think there were this many of them 💀

yes ive heard about that....... im answering your ask late oops haah but i hope the situations a Bit better..... the toxic parts of this fandom give me a headache but my usual motto is to stay off twitter, touch grass, ignore people, and then hold onto my own viewpoints unless proven wrong alsjdflsdj but like. yeah this fandom is a bit tough to stay in when it comes to certain circles (for example the amount of people low quality shitposting / ranting about the fandom or whatever on rezero ao3 atm in the past days/weeks is. mm. interesting). not my first time being in larger fandoms that make you sometimes feel like youre fighting in the trenches (you could name off a few big fandoms notorious for being toxic that date back to like 2016 and odds are ive been in a couple lajdlf) but yeah seeing people complain about liliana and capella's designs and then overly fixate on emilia's boobs when these three characters have more to bring to the table than just that and theres lots and lots of good things to say about the s3 trailer and their designs..... mm. yeah. im squinting hard at a few of the things ive heard on that. but anyway!!

like the new designs are an Improvement. In General. like ok, as a boob haver myself ("boob haver" is the funniest phrase to me alsdjfls but it is true nonetheless, i am one) i do not give a shit about emilias larger boobs like ok?? her boobs are bigger?? she is still my fav ever and sometimes it just happens when youre still a growing teen/young adult and emilias back to her more revealing main outfit when she wore a different outfit in s2 so the difference in chest size is really not that much. but liliana and capella? those are Improved designs. i think ive talked abt the treatment of underage characters / characters who appear underage on my blog before (and i definitely couldve worded myself better then but i stand behind the fact that some of the stuff otsuka and tappei do regarding this in rezero is just Unnecessary).

could designs like emilia's still be improved on in other ways? yeah 100%, just in the sense that there could probably be changed a bit to fit her slightly more timid and soft spoken personality. or you could take different directions on it in general if you wanted. ive seen some great redesigns of her main outfit!! though her main outfit in of itself is pretty nice to look at imo and its iconic and well-known for a reason. im of the personal opinion that i wish it was a little less revealing in the same vein that her s2 main outfit was (i like that outfit a lot!!) but its still a really solid design overall.

i had some faith after seeing the anime designers fix up typhoon's original design to be More Appropriate, and i love how the essence of liliana and capella's designs were kept the same. like its not just that theyre a little less revealing (and even then, theyre both still showing a lot of skin!!! which is good!!! i like the improvement while keeping the main stuff the same), but stuff like liliana's pants aren't transparent (probably to make it easier to animate?) and the yellow/orange gradient in capella's hair looks great!! they also both look more like grown women which is a bonus. unless youre Weird about this shit which is unfortunately a small percentage of the rezero community. like you cant win with those sort of people ig, bc capella's boobs are bigger too ljasdlfj youd think that win more people over.

also i appreciate capella's sports bra bc unlike elsa's outfit it Actually looks like it's supporting her chest. if youre someone with boobs and you dont have a flat chest, youre gonna need support when being active or itll Hurt. and elsa Does Not have proper chest support okay. ill forever wince remembering elsa's design in that sense HAH....

anyway but i digress. i got no clue what to do with toxic people in fandoms despite spending a lot of time lurking in large fandoms with loud toxic people haah.... its hard to do much about it especially with increasingly declining media literacy rates everywhere.... the notorious misogyny/homophobia/etc that can happen sometimes in anime communities.... that sort of thing. i kinda just avoid it when it comes to rezero in specific, or briefly talk about it on here, or rant about it to myself in my head or chat with pals about it in private if it really frustrates me that much!! and id say im a pretty patient person hah... im not frustrated often. and the fandom is not all weird people of course and i can attest to that as ive chatted with a lot of people here... ive also seen a lot of people leave due to the fandom's Issues which is. totally fair tbh.

and i think rezero is often a "baby's first fandom" so to speak... i dont mean that in a bad way of course but its more like its the first exposure to fandom and fandom etiquette and fic etiquette and that sort of thing when it comes to english circles. or at least its a pattern ive noticed, so my theory is that that occasionally that combines with toxic fans and then you get a few people complaining about the community and how bad our fics are on rezero ao3 ig lajdlfjsdlf. which is false by the way :<< and an annoying misuse of ao3 as a free creative archive :<<

but ultimately i hope the rezero character designer's alright (and honestly theyve done super super great work - like the anime Did Not need to give emilia a bajillion outfits and go above and beyond with improving liliana, capella, giving the suwens and their hometown a whole unique aesthetic, etc). and also while i have stuff to criticize with otsuka and tappei... and the toxic parts of the fandom hah... i still enjoy rezero apart from that and the uproar with the designs has not chipped away at me too much!! ive been in this fandom long enough i guess lmao i just roll with punches at this point T^T but i also just try to look on the bright side a lot in general so ;-;;;

these are the sorts of things i like to be aware about but i dont like to get myself super involved with it (since itll probably make it worse and/or make me stressed for no good reason lmfaoo) and i wont let it enjoy the parts of rezero that i do enjoy a lot (which is to say like. the other 98% of rezero hah). so. getting off twitter is the biggest godsend i promise lajdlsfj.

but anyway!! yeah i dont have much organized thoughts on all of this, this is just me rambling my feelings on it. hope this all makes sense anon <3

[spacesymbol]

anyways HI. its been uhh... two weeks since last post but about a month since any actual life updates. so im gonna do... that!

gonna split this one into tumblr specific updates and personal updates since i figure the latter is a little less important to some people. not trying to sound mean there, i get the feeling!

anyways, tumblr specific updates!

the big update is that i completely revamped my carrd. theres a lot more text now, and the layout doesnt look as good on mobile as it does on desktop, but i still like how it looks a lot better than the previous version.

i also added a new tag to my pinned. the tag is just this 📁 emoji, and its sort of a catchall tag for posts about media that i like. since i got rid of alter tags a while ago and i dont really like tagging specific franchises, i figured this works better for now.

my pinned post was also updated to reflect this change, and theres even a new tag guide/explanation!

okay now for the more personal life related updates. theres a LOT you have been warned!

where did i last leave off... right, the delaware trip! okay well i say that as if a lot happened on that trip. which is incorrect.

the only real big thing about the delaware trip was that i was kind of suffering for the whole trip since i had just been put back on adhd medication, and the dosage was WAY too high so my body did not adjust well at all and i was having like horrific symptoms for the whole week. and i wish i could truthfully say that the dosage of that medication is sorted out now but i cant!!!! 🥲

in the four days between the end of the delaware trip and the first day of school i went to a friends belated birthday party... which was the only time i hung out with any of my friends for the entire summer actually. but the party was still fun...!!

the rest of the updates are gonna be school related. since the next significant thing after that party was the first day of senior year.

my classes have all been manageable so far. i think the stress is definitely going to pile up soon with college application deadlines swiftly approaching, but the impending reality of that hasnt really set in yet. it is definitely nice to be taking classes i genuinely enjoy this year, even if the coursework is difficult!

i dont remember how much ive talked about my social standing at school on here but tldr it sucks. i dont have any genuinely close friends or a dedicated friend group that enjoys my presence at all. something something the we should call fiona interview quote... thats basically described my social situation for the past several months.

in terms of theater. hoo boy. well you see, our drama teacher (and shows producer) is on maternity leave. and not only did she switch the order of plays and musicals again (the fall show is a play this year), but she chose two plays for us to do this fall.

basically both shows are one act plays with no real lead roles since the scenes arent connected at all. performances will go like: show one, intermission, show two. and the "no lead roles" thing would be great except for the fact that this is one of my two senior theater productions with this school and i would like the chance to earn bigger roles, you know?

anyways auditions came and went and the cast list was released last thursday. and you will never guess who one of my romantic scene partners is. well. its my ex 😁👍

i mean besides the fact that i have to pretend to swoon over my ex, im really happy with my roles. i got double cast in one of the plays as opposed to one role in each play, and i like the play i got double cast in a lot better. and i only auditioned with two scenes from that play, and got cast in both of those scenes that i auditioned with, so i assume the director really liked my auditions?

also one of the scenes im in (not the one with my ex) is fully just an internalized homophobia turned "dude i think i love you" scene and its just SUCH a good scene. i really like my scenes and characters, i am just rightfully worried about rehearsing a romantic scene with my ex for two months...! but it will be fine. probably

okay this is getting REALLY long but uhhh general not-life-related updates.

undertale day!!! we split a chara less than 24 hours after the newsletter dropped 👍

my cats fifth birthday was last wednesday!!!!!! i could write a whole essay about how much this tiny beast means to me but just know i love her lots okay?

okay. okay. i THINK thats everything i have to say. uhh this is the part of the post where i talk about future tumblr updates and status.

idk. idk!!!!!!!!! the stress and busyness of senior year is kind of starting to get to me a bit so i might just disappear for a few months. or maybe ill continue updates every couple of weeks or every month.

i definitely want to return to posting here as regularly as i used to, but i always either avoid it for some reason or have other things i need to be doing instead. so whos to say how active ill be! i definitely dont know!

[dykeyote]

💔 + 🎥 for tpo or rgu (or both!!)

also maybe 📜 for rgu cause i’m trying to get into it

i assume u mean tpp bc idk what else tpo would be tho i may be being stupid ...... so i will do both bc i like to talk >:)

one of my least favorite characters from penumbra and why: oh god i really cannot stand mick mercury . i really cant . i just really dont like himbo characters or anything adjacent ..... unless its handled INSANELY well or in a really new and compelling way i just Do not like cis guy characters where the whole thing is that theyre like incompetent and dumb and thats their main thing and often feels like their Only thing i just Do not like it they immediately get on my nerves and i dont like his voice either so whenever hes on the show i am Displeased ...... theres interesting aspects to him and idk i get why people like him i suppose but i cannot stand him . at all . he just is like the biggest example of a trope i really hate </3

one of my least favorite characters from rgu and why: this ones tricky because like .... i like most of the characters that dont do awful shit . like i can be like "oh i hate akio" and ur gonna be like yeah duh ......

fav scene from penumbra: i did this a while ago in this post but ill also throw in one that i forgot which is that i do quite like juno and cassandra's interactions in murderous mask also .... its quite entertaining and puts an interesting lens on both characters . and also theyre both really fucking funny

fav scene from rgu: okay like.... there are many INSANELY good scenes in rgu . so beautiful so cool so fucking thought provoking it is an AMAZING show . however ngl the scene i think and talk the most abt (i literally was talking abt this to my friend the other day who was thinking abt watching it) is the goddamn scene in the dub (idk what its like in the sub i havent seen it i might after i finish watching the dub thru bc i struggle w paying attntion to captions) where they like . show this like triple angle shot of utena and all the girls are staring at her with heart eyes and shit and then they go in the silliest fucking anime dub voice "Shes So Cool" when it is so obvious that they all want to say shes smoking hot and they need her rn . love that scene . i think abt it all the time . its so funny . why would u censor the lesbians of ohtori academy which is apparently all the girls ever

plotline of rgu and what kind of media it is: revolutionary girl utena is a late 90s anime that was heavily influential on the anime that came later and on animation in general (: the plot surrounds utena tenjou, a teenage girl (ish . her relationship to gender is VERY complex and she is at the very least clearly butch to me . bigender utena 4eva) who wants to be a prince and who is sort of unintentionally drawn into a duel for (among other things) the hand of the rose bride, anthy himemiya, a teenage girl with some magical capacities who is treated more as an object than a person by those who want to win her. utena wins the duel, and continues to have to defend her spot as champion despite not particularly Wanting anthy to treat her as her owner and bride-to-be. things obviously spiral down and get way more complicated from there but thats the basic synopsis of the beginning without spoiling later stuff (: (and obligatory warning for anyone intrigued by that that it gets very heavy later on check the warnings ideally on smt besides does the dog die bc there is a Large amnt and imo the does the dog die doesnt really cover them properly or explicitly explain how intrinsically tied to the narrative some of said warnings Are)

[pinnithin]

long kind of sad gay poast ahead

saw something about loving the unlovable and it got me thinking about how its a central theme in most of my writing. paired with like, isolation, being separate/other, the doomed concept of human connection, being the only person who can love and understand you the way you need, etc - i watched evangelion way too young if you couldnt guess.

anyway and this is due to the fact that a core part of my identity and personality revolves around the fact that i considered myself unlovable for the majority of my life, first unconsciously through childhood neglect, then by choice as some "you cant fire me i quit" teen angst sort of thing, then by a doomed sense of resignation all through college. its a significant part of how i see myself even now after years of working to unlearn it - ive managed to dial it back to "im difficult to love" which still isnt great but yknow. better than it was

which is why i have attachment issues and preferred one night stands for a long time. my romantic relationships (many of them short lived) have been with well meaning partners who assured me constantly that like, even though youre difficult to love its worth it. and that was all nice and good but it made me feel so fraudulent and disgusted with myself because it put me in the position of thinking either 1) this person doesnt actually know me that well at all or 2) i have somehow tricked this person into thinking under all the baggage theres someone worth loving. which is something i find difficult to reconcile with because the baggage is me too. i cant get rid of it. inevitably those people got wise and it ended up not working out.

by now have all these arguments and strategies geared up to explain to people who make the mistake of caring about me that its really not worth the effort, we're better off as friends or acquaintances, etc. im very transparent about the issues i deal with so its all just laid out there from the beginning and im not like, tricking people into being in a relationship with me or whatever by hiding it. ive talked in circles with exes over and over along the general lines of "im difficult to love" > "no youre not" > "i have xyz wrong with me and i push people away, trust me you dont want to deal with this" > "okay well we can work on that, and youll get better and itll be worth it" > "what if i never get better" > "you will, ill help you" > [me relenting bc im unable to dash their hopes and dreams that even if i Get Better im still Me at the core and the things that make me difficult to love are a permanent part of me]

the relationship im in now doesnt even let me get into that. shan is just like, youre not. youre not difficult to love, youre actually very easy to love and it has always been easy to love you, even before we were dating. and i dont have a comeback for that.

even with my usual strategy of "heres an itemized list of all the reasons dating me is a risk" theyre just like well sure, thats difficult for you to deal with, and im sorry its so hard for you, but that doesnt make you difficult to love. the loving is easy. that part has always been easy.

she doesnt treat me like a problem that needs to be solved she doesnt try to be my savior from myself she doesnt give any indication that shes just waiting it out until i reach a certain threshold of acceptable or unacceptable. she just loves me and trusts me to take care of myself, and it places a lot of personal responsibility on me to be better - not for us but for me, because im the only person who can do that and they know it.

its the healthiest relationship ive ever been in and ive never felt so safe and free to be myself. i dont need to live up to any expectations to eventually make myself lovable. im easy to love. hard thing for me to believe in self practice but going back to the inherent disconnect between all humans, who am i to know or control what they consider easy or difficult? i dont judge her when something she finds difficult is easy for me, so why wouldn't the opposite be true?

[toxic-ship-tournament]

OK AT LAST THE PROMISED ESMERALICE RANT

OK SO... THEY BOTH ENDED UP DRUGGING EACH OTHER MULTIPLE TIMES, AS WELL AS KNOCKING EACH OTHER UNCONSCIOUS AND WHILE WHEN POOFENPLOTZ WAS DOING IT(PREBREAKUP) SHE MOSTLY DID IT AS A WAY TO CONVINCE ALICE SHE WAS ENJOYING THE PARTIES AND GROUP STUFF POOFENPLOTZ WAS BRINGING HER TO("I MEAN, DENY HOW YOU GOT SHITFACED DRUNK ALL YOU LIKE, I HAD TO CARRY YOU TO MY HOUSE."(SOMETHING WHICH IS ALSO SPECIFICALLY MEANT TO TICK OFF ALICE BASED ON HOW YOUNG ALICE INTERPRETS PERFECTION)) WHEREAS. ALICE(BOTH BACK THEN AND NOW) MOSTLY DID IT TO KIDNAP OR TAUNT HER. IN ADDITION, ALICE(CURRENT ASSUME ALL OF THIS STUFF IS CURRENT) MIND CONTROLS OR READS HER MIND DESPITE POOFENPLOTZ DOING EVERYTHING IN HER POWER TO BOTH TELL HER TO AND MAKE HER STOP THAT, AND USES THAT CONTROL AND INFORMATION TO BASICALLY BE REALLY PETTY AND DIG AT POOFENPLOTZ, ALTHOUGH SHE ALSO USES IT TO LIKE. TRY AND KILL THE CLOSEST THING SHE HAS TO AN ACCEPTING FAMILY BUT WE'LL GET INTO THAT LATER. ALSO OBLIGATORY "NONE OF THE DRUGGING OR MIND CONTROL GOES IN A NON/DUB-CON DIRECTION. POOFENPLOTZ WOULDN'T WANT TO DO SEX USUALLY ANYWAYS BUT ITS A DEFINITE NO WHEN SHE JUST DRUGGED HER PARTNER, AND ALICE HAS VERY SPECIFIC "RULES" ABOUT MAKING SURE PEOPLE AGREE TO WHAT SHE WANTS IN THEIR "RIGHT MIND" (INCREDIBLY VAGUE USUALLY BUT FOR POOFENPLOTZ IT BASICALLY MEANS "NOT DRUGGED DRUNK OR MIND CONTROLLED") SO"

ALSO ALICE AND POOFENPLOTZ BOTH GAVE EACH OTHER EATING DISORDERS. THAT'S ONLY KIND OF A SIMPLIFIED WAY OF PUTTING IT. ALICE MADE SURE POOFENPLOTZ HAD TO "KEEP UP APPEARANCES" AND POOFENPLOTZ MOCKED HER ABOUT IT ENOUGH THAT THEY BOTH KINDA ENDED UP SPIRALING. IRONICALLY, THIS IS THE ONE SITUATION WHERE ALICE RECOVERED BETTER THEN POOFENPLOTZ. MOSTLY BY PROCEEDING TO GO "ACTUALLY I DONT CARE ABOUT MY EX AT ALL" AND DENIALED SO HARD SHE MANIFESTED NOT CARING ABOUT THAT STUFF EITHER ANYMORE. SHE DID THEN USE POOFENPLOTZS TECHNIQUES WITH A HEALTHY DOSE OF ATTEMPTED CULT LEADER WISDOM TO GIVE OTHER PEOPLE EATING DISORDERS TO INCREASE HER CONTROL OVER THEM. SO.... YUP. ALICE ABSOLUTELY SNAPS AT POOFENPLOTZ ABOUT THE HORRIFIC DOUBLE STANDARD, BUT ITS WELL AFTER IT WOULD HAVE APPLIED AND WHEN ITS IN A SITUATION WHERE ALICE GOT TO HEAL AND POOFENPLOTZ STILL STRUGGLES WITH IT CONSTANTLY? OOF. (ALSO IM SORRY FOR THE JOKING TONE ON THIS I PROMISE I DO TAKE EATING DISORDERS AS SERIOUSLY AS POSSIBLE THEYRE JUST HARD FOR ME TO TALK ABOUT OTHERWISE BC. WELL I DONT NEED TO GIVE OUT PERSONAL INFORMATION LIKE THIS BUT I THINK IF YOU READ THIS BIT ITS OBVIOUS.)

THERES THE USUAL "MURDER FOR EACH OTHER, DEATH THREATS, SUICIDE THREATS, KIDNAPPING, COERCION, ETC" BETWEEN THEM BUT THOSE ARE MOSTLY BASIC STUFF AND IM RUNNING ON ZERO BRAINPOWER AND A LOTTA EXHAUSTION SO ILL SKIP ABOUT SEVEN MORE PARAGRAPHS RN AND GO TO THE FAMILY THING I PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED.

ESSENTIALLY(AT THIS POINT IN THE STORY) POOFENPLOTZS ENDED UP FINDING SOME SORT OF SOLIDARITY AND FAMILY WITHIN MILLIE AND PINKY, ALONG WITH A LITTLE BIT OF SUPPORT AND COMMUNITY W THE OTHER FIRESIDE GIRLS SO FAR. NOW, ALICE HAS A WHOLE THING OF REACHING PERFECTION THAT POOFENPLOTZ EGGED HER ON ABOUT, AND HER CURRENT STEP ON THAT ROAD REQUIRES HER TO BASICALLY KIDNAP MILLIE AND PINKY(PINKY ISNT NECESSARY SO MUCH AS SHE JUST WANTS TO EXPIRAMENT A BIT BUT THATS THE SAME AS NEEDING HIM TO HER), SO HAVING HER HALF EX HALF CURRENT GIRLFRIEND WHOS BEEN ROASTING HER ALIVE FOR ALL THE SHORTCOMINGS AND THINGS SHE CANT STAND ABOUT HERSELF, STANDING IN THE WAY OF THE TWO PEOPLE SHE NEEDS TO TAKE? POOFENPLOTZ IS GOOD AT FIGHTING BUT SHES NOT GONNA SURVIVE ALICE WITHOUT ANY WEAPONS. ALICE BASICALLY USES ALL OF POOFENPLOTZ'S INSECURITIES AND ISSUES RIGHT BACK AT HER, USING WHAT INFORMATION SHE GAINED BY NOT GIVING TWO SHITS ABOUT POOFENPLOTZS BOUNDARIES OR ANYTHING TO BASICALLY KILL HER *JAZZ HANDS*. ALSO KIDNAPPING THE TWO PEOPLE SHE ACTUALLY HAD WHILE SHE BLEEDS OUT ON THE FLOOR. IT ALL ENDS UP FINE NECROMANCY/HJ BUT LIKW. YEAH.

I PROMISE THIS IS A COHERENT NOT GRIMDARK EVERYONE ENDS UP HAPPY IN CHARACTER PHINEAS AND FERB AU. AM VERY EXHAUSTED SORRY IF THIS DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE. THEY'RE BASICALLY THE DEFINITION OF THIS POST

.

[magnoliamyrrh]

Are you a radfem?

somewhat, yes. i suppose the feminism i believe in is in actuality a combination of a whole bunch of things. i lean twoards radical feminism as a framework and theory, im particularly fond of the writings of woc and third world women during the second wave. a lot of jewish women were writing in this time too. im on board with most of radical feminist theory, i think most of the analysis of the root of female opression and the functions of patriatchy is very solid, and i agree with many of its goals. i also hold the same definition of feminism - a class movement for the liberation of the female sex. i do very much believe in sisterhood, and try my best to function on this principle even when it gets very hard with some women. Radical feminism is of course split in several branches and some of them i can't stand (the political lesbianism shit being one of them). generally im what would be called a matriarchist i suppose. i do not want equality between the sexes but rather equity. i hold that both this, and female liberation are possible through the instatement of a matriarchal and matrinial society, and im very fond of the current day matriarchal societies and cultures which remian. and before someone inevitably asks, no i dont hate or exclude trans women. sex dysphoria can be a very delibilitating medical condition, its something ive experienced myself, and i have sympathy for those who are going through this and simply trying to cope and live their lives. while this is a different experience than biological women, and they are not opressed on the basis of female biology, a transexual woman especially one who passes and has for many years, does have some similar experiences, experiences a form of misogyny, and we definetely have struggles in common. probably the most obvious one being that transexual women and girls as well as third-gender, mostly homosexual males of other cultures are hit particularly hard by prostitution due to the idea that they "are like women," particularly the latter, and thus they should be subjugated to our same historical opression. i however do not believe in queer theory, because it is postmodernism. and before someone asks the other question, no, the vast majority of radical feminist theory does not hold that males are biologically doomed to be horrible and opressive, nor do i believe this. we believe this is an issue of socialization which starts from childhood.

generally i just care about the feminism of the second and third world lmao. radical feminism is particularly popular outside of the west, or, another way to put it, the feminisms of the nonwestern world have infinately more to do with radical feminism than liberal "feminism"/academic feminism/choice feminism/mainsteam western feminism/postmodern feminism. i do not for a second buy into it, and frankly i cant stand it and i never have. and i outright despise postmodernism for a whole bunch of reasons - largely bc it was a bunch of egotistical useless french pedophiles working with the god damn cia; google it, provable fact lmao. its a damn psyop. to me it is nothing more than selfish, hyper individualistic, completely lacking in analysis, antirevolutionary and priviledged. i think the idea that theres no universality between women is horseshit made to dismantle class conciousness. at best its useless and annoying at worst its outright dangerous and harmful. its a sort of feminism who may as well be white feminism 2.0 imperialist feminism 2.0. which thinks opression ends when it ends for a small privileged minorty who learn to take advantage of the opressive system better, or who are lucky. no. opression ends when it ends for the lowest, most unfortunate sister. and until then, none of us are truly free

feminism isnt about individualist choice and perception and desires, it is about thinking of the good of our fellow sisters, of all of us. and chocies dont exist in a damn vaccum

i also lean heavily twords islamic feminism as well as marxist feminism - there being a connection between these two and radical feminism. islamic feminism is described as an indigenous feminism coming from within the islamic world, from muslim women (some muslim in belief, some only culturally muslim)- it is not the same as the importation of western choice feminism into islam, or outsiders critiquing the religion and culture. islamic feminism tends to be very analytical and critical, and several of the most prominent writes of the movement were influenced by the writings of the radical women of colour of the second wave. it also has a strong marxist influence. it functions on the same principles of material analysis and with the same goal - understanding the root of the opression of the female sex (in this context in islamic societies), understanding the function of patriatchy (within islam and related cultures), and among the radical branches seeks the complete liberation of the female sex and the dismanteling of the islamic patriarchy - though this may look different in goals from western radical feminism, for example. it is however a very diverse movement, and there are many women who either dont consider themselves feminists or wouldnt typically be considered by others feminists. theres a scale from traditionalists, more centrist/reformist sisters, and outright radicals. the movement is also very heavily tied into the feminisms of the third world, and the anti imperialist effort for obvious reasons - imperialism is a big part of the discourse

as for marxist feminism, this is also feminism which has to do with the female class, not individualism. it focuses on the patriarchy functioning on the exploitation of the female reproductive capabilities, as well as the emotional and physical labour, by the male class. very common basis of analysis in islamic feminism as well. also a focus on how economic and class shifts affect women throughout history. this one also has a strong focus on the critique of capitlism, as well as because of this imperialism.

[the-s1lly-corner]

GENERAL JAX HCS

mix of a bunch of stuff, probably going to be writing random stuff while waiting for requests to come in so i have something to do side note i never actually felt a knot in my neck form, only wake up with them after getting them in my sleep... until today, felt one form right in the back of my neck while i was just. standing and oh my god it sucks so much i hate knots but actually feeling it. develop. right there. sucks more i think anyways this is a mixed bag of just basic jax hcs + stuff that can tie in with other characters or the reader, we'll see since i write these notes before doing anything else

would this really be a jax hc post by the silly corner if i didnt mention the fidget headcannon? literally the hc that i bring up the most in my posts when theres readers who have accessories or tails or what have you?

i think hes going to mess with anything he can get his hands on; usually passing them between his hands or perhaps tossing them around in the air and catching them.. if its something bouncy hes going to be bouncing it along the ground while he's walking.. i think sometimes with other characters, he does try to mess with them out of habit (plus given how he snatches zoobles arm it kind of. shows hes comfortable doing that sort of thing, you know?)

sometimes messes with ragathas bow, or zoobles antennae (though with zooble its more on purpose and to annoy them).. i think you get the idea

speaking of ragatha i think they would be good friends, i mean i personally think if ragatha didnt like jax she would keep her distance from him (though to be fair we still only have the pilot so far + i think ragatha would still be polite if she didnt like him)

as for his dynamic with zooble i think they kind of egg each other on, but on the rare occasion they do agree on something they do so begrudgingly

i think his ears twitch when hes thinking or when hes irritated, not huge movements... mostly little... twiks, you know?

i dont think he really has fur personally, and if he does its really short and smooth... in my opinion he looks like he would be made of the same material as those small squishy animal toys

these ones, i got a handful of them and theyre genuinely so soft and squishy, me thinks jax would feel like these things

on the off chance he needs to cook for whatever reason, hes a terrible cook. like i think he can make one meal but outside of that hes a disaster in the kitchen... also doesnt make a good kitchen partner because hes going to think its funny to hand you the wrong thing when you ask him to pass something

malicious incompetence but hes doing it to annoy you and will probably give you the right thing after a few rounds of messing with you

no one is safe from his antics, assuming he and ragatha are good friends, shes still subject to his jokes at the bare minimum

so.... if youre friends with him youre at least going to go through the same thing

i dont think he would be a good secret keeper most of the time. like yeah sure if its something serious and important i think he would put aside his douchbagie-ness for once and keep it

but if its something outside of that? yeah no you're have more luck confiding in caine, who imo would pounce on the opportunity to gossip

probably shouts random stuff, like "hey caine, (reader) thinks youre (insert outrageous lie)!" just to mess with you. does this to other people, usually ragatha or gangle... sometimes does it to kinger, i think... only reason he doesnt do it to zooble is because they will get his ass, and hes giving pomni a 'grace period' before he decides to drag her into his shit

hes an ass but i dont think he would just jump on someone/j

speaking of, while he can be mean to some people i do think he has his limits, like hes not going to kick you while youre already down or make fun of you for something you cant really control or manipulate you by hanging something over your head (see the secret keeping thing, while he will tease you about more basic stuff if its something serious hes not going to do it imo)

you know?

though i do think hes the type to steal something from someone in order to make them talk to him; especially if he has a crush on someone... hes just a little shit like that

has this LOOK on his face when the person comes to retrieve their thing, and tbh... i can also see him waving it around over their head (hes tall, and if they can still reach it he probably jumps.. gets on his toes.. stumbles away and holds them back ect) just to keep them around for just a little longer

whether this is actually successful in getting with the person romantically depends... personally it wouldnt work for me but hey, some people find that behavior endearing and/or will be able to eventually pick up on what hes doing

does not like being vulnerable, this goes for really anything regarding feelings as he thinks it ties in with weakness (spoiler, it doesnt)... probably has a "eeeewww feelings..." mindset (though might still let you vent to him... will act uninterested but if he really didnt care hed just walk away.. more actions than words, this one is)

rarely talks about how he actually feels about things if the feeling in question is anything less than indifference or amusement... though hes not opposed to expressing anger or annoyance... will let you do what you will with that information...

naturally because of him being weird about his feelings, romantic feelings fall into the "eeeeeewww feelings..." category so hes not going to be blunt, again, actions over words here... and even then the actions here are mostly him messing with the person and trying to get them to spend time with him as a result (even if its not... hanging out..)

[snekdood]

"Narcissistic abuse" vs NPD

Hey guys, i feel like I need to talk about something, if only because i was one of those ppl who ended up watching a lot of videos about "narcissistic abuse" which demonized tf out of ppl with NPD so now i feel a moral obligation to do something, whatever that may be. So I guess this is one of my attempts to do something.

Because im someone who ended up watching a lot of those videos, it really forged my perceptions of people with NPD, but i think theres an important distinction here to be made. I do personally feel like narcissistic abuse exists, but i dont think it exists *only* within the realm of people with npd as a lot of these videos and articles suggest. I think just about anyone can engage in narcissistic abuse because the point is the abuse is incredibly selfish and self centered on part of the abuser. I dont think it has to be connected with people with NPD and the only connection is made with the similar names, so maybe we need to come up with a new term for it, because ive personally found a lot of value out of those videos, it helped explain to me what was going on, the way people abused me, the way their mind worked, what they were likely to do, etc. And has pretty much been on the nose. I dont think multiple videos like this would exist if there wasnt a common experience. I just dont think its something people with npd exclusively do like a lot of these videos suggest. Im like 90% sure one of my bullies abused me this way, would do anything to maintain their social standing and keep me on the bottom, but i do not believe that person has npd and it wouldnt be fair for me to diagnose that person anyways because i barely know anything about that person personally.

Part of the reason these videos kinda revealed to me its not just an npd thing is the fact that they kept having to come up with new, scarier words for ppl with npd. Like "the dark triad" or whatever because the realization that their trauma is the reason they act the way they do makes the victim upset and not want to have to sympathize, which is understandable, but its not healthy and it means they have to make it sound like its something more extreme to have a justification for essentially wanting that person to be kicked off the planet, which i can understand why an abuse victim might feel that way, i just dont think its helpful to shunt all the responsibility on to ppl with npd and obviously that abuse victim needs to be more practical, empathetic and realistic because you cant control other people and you're likely to not actually do anything to your abuser to get revenge, so sitting here seething in your contempt does nothing but hurt you long term while your abuser has essentially forgotten you exist. But i digress.

The biggest issue with these videos is the name of the abuse and the association with ppl with npd, because theres many reasons why people would want to keep their social position outside of an extremely insecure sense of self or whatever tf. The other issue with these videos is the huge demonization and misunderstanding about people with npd. The idea that theyre all abusive, that they cant change, that they hold every Bad diagnostic criteria and it makes them *evil* or whatever tf. The way people talk about ppl with npd in those videos is pretty horrendous actually. It gets to a point where you wonder if the person posting the video wants to essentially genocide ppl with npd, which i think is kinda fuckin crazy ngl, i dont think thats a solution nor do i think all ppl with npd are such a huge problem that we need to get rid of them or exile them from society or whatever tf. Ppl with npd more than anything need therapy of some sort, and these videos 100% can talk about this form of abuse without throwing ppl with npd under the bus every 5 seconds.

I know people dismiss this as just "any kind of abuse" but i really dont think it is, its a really specific, insidious type of abuse where someone will do anything to maintain their position, they will toss away all their morals bc maintaining that position is the most important thing to them. They are people who are very driven by their ego, and anyone can be driven by their ego, so no, its not just an npd thing. Theres other forms of abuse that arent driven by a need to maintain their social position, so also no, its not all the same and i dont think it should all be labeled as general abuse, because the trauma this can cause is notable and having a space to talk with people who've had similar experiences is really important and helpful. We just gotta stop demonizing ppl with npd since its very much not their sole issue, nor would i say its a guarantee ppl with npd will treat you that way, and its pretty toxic to assume that, especially since ppl without npd routinely engage in this form of abuse. I dont believe theres truly any justification for ostracizing and wanting to essentially kill off an entire group of people and ppl should stop trying to find excuses to do so.

Anyways, thing i wanted to say and have been thinking about for a while has been said, you may proceed with whatever judgements you seemingly endlessly have about me.

[jaimesrighthand]

hotd is coming back soon and my desire to reread my favourite asoiaf fanfic is back with a vengeance.

anyways here are the bits of this chapter that make me lose my mind upon rereading (and lots of thinking about our doe):

"Queen Cersei decides who her family is, whether or not her blood commands it so"- i just... theres a reason that one fanart used this as a caption if i recall correctly. doe baby come here im giving a big hug.

"You knew... deep down... but you never wanted to believe it until the truth came roaring back at you in the future."- use of roaring here is iconic, zoomorphism always adds a kick. The thing about this line that drives me crazy is the implications for her relationship with Jaime. We know that she's close to both her uncles and there's a lot of lore with Tyrion (beloved relationship there!), but i have soooo many thoughts about jaime and her. clearly, it seems that cersei didn't push jaime away from leyla as she did his children for cersei reasons which adds another level of lannister craziness to their relationship.

"sweet Uncle Tyrion"- love doe for being the only pov to use that adjective for tyrion.

"ou rode either on your horse gifted to you by your Uncle Jaime or in the wheelhouse with your mother and younger siblings"- see how those two groups are directly contrasted, with doe being the bridgeway of sorts. i need to drink this juicy dynamic like sweetwine.

"Unashamed of standing beside the Kingslayer"- this and the line where he kisses her cheek and helps her down her horse are so fulfilling jaime's young aspirations of that conventional view of knighthood. its like doe is a reflection of the goodness of their character ugh help i cant take this!

"'Princess,' Robb takes your hand and places a gentle kiss over your knuckles, causing your fingers to tingle."- oh our sweet babies have no idea what lays ahead of them teehee

"You’ve been spending far too much time with your Uncle Tyrion if you take Robb Stark’s small talk as an innuendo."- see what happens when you let tyrion of all people parent your child, cersei. tsk tsk tsk. oh the humanity!

“My Uncle Jaime gave her to me. We named her Fawn.”- WE? WE? oh dear the symbolic significance of jaime helping name the horse after the baratheon sigil rather than the lannister one is so dear to me.

"You were always the wedge between your parents"- my poor baby

"the Queen Cersei only smiled with anticipation at you as she brushed her fingers through your hair, the alien motion driving you into shock."-physical affection from her mother being so rare to the point where it elicits a trauma response out of her makes me want to flip a table. oh the tragedy of it all

"Your mother did once.

And how sorely did Father disappoint her. "- robert can be viewed as the fulcrum of her tragedy as a character, but its also haunting how she has parallels to her mother as a character. Then again, that is partially Cersei's fault but thats a next chapter thing.

Black of Hair (Part One)

(Gif not mine)

Request: “Hi! So I had this idea for an imagine/fanfic (whatever you want) in my head where Robert and Cersei have one true born child together (so not Cersei’s and Jaime’s kids, they still exist though) and since Cersei kinda sees her as a threat cause she’s the rightful heir she wants her married off as soon as possible; and Robert and her decide that she has to be married of to Robb and the daughter and Robb fall in love, thank you!💕” from @fuckoffupstairs 

Fandom: Game of Thrones

Ship: Robb Stark x Female!Reader

Tags: black of hair got

Masterlist

Author’s Note: Thank you for this request! Sorry it took so long for me to get to, but once I sat down to write it I just couldn’t stop! My fingers were ready to fall off!

(I do not consent my works to be reposted/copied)

Keep reading

[cogbreath]

dump of my unorganized migraine riddled thoughts and feelings about recent things

maybe a lot of mistakes were made with the recent stuff with the callout stuff. i dont know. personally i never called anyone a pedophile or tried to insinuate anyone was and its distressing to hear about those accusations getting thrown around the way they were (are?) i dunno. people trying to develop some sort of epsteins list type thing it seems. fsct of the matter in terms of my own personal thoughts are that well its clear who is and isnt and really i just dont like the racists on here i dont like the way people came at some of the black users on here about it myself included. i cant speak for anyone else or say if they meant harm what they said but nonetheless lot of you folks are too eager to harm and attack black people regardless if they deserve criticism for what they said or not. tbh i dont even know what the situation is as it stands or where its gone. its become a mess that i dont like and cofnfuses me greatly. it should be simple. dont be transmisogynistic dont be racist and really you shouldn't claim people to be pedos unless you really are certain of that. i think leave people alone now to be honest unless theres really any risk of danger you know

ive tried to say what ive felt is the right thing and i still generally feel i did , there are people though who i will never like ans never forgive due 2 their racism. im not giving them support because of that. simple as. really its my right to.

really though im just one person

i hate the way people seem to act liek theres some sort of faction loyalty about this treating it like goddamn skyrim civil war

we all know how posts spread around here and its just illogical to say that all who ever reblogged a thing from someone means they r a supportyr of that person and their beliefs

though i think if its found out if that op isn't a safe person u should delete the post stop that shit from spreading i dont know why its suddenly hard for pepple to think this way when its undrrstood anytime a post from a fascist starts getting spread around

really im honestly backing out of discussions about what is and isnt okay or acceptable for anyone to sexualise or have a fetish for outside of the obvious things of its not okay to do that with non consenting people animals you know its literally simple easy stuff

whether or not someones into pregnant tf scenarios or mpreg or is a DL or any thing like that i really dont care and im not really interested in dissecting what it means or doesn't mean

im not an expert of sexual psychology and neither are you and i think you should leave people alone about it

i will never fw raceplay though and i have that right

and well honestly i think everyone has a right to not fw any kink its not illegal to dislike a kink or to be grossed out by it

and someone being grossed out by ur kink itsnt any form of hate on you as a human being either

just be nice 👍 everyone

and make sure everyone is safe

rememebr people generally mean well and generally dont want to hurt others needlessly

peoppe on here are quick to assume that every time someone does hurt someone on here its because they love it and are filled with hate and bigotry for their kind or something like that

i think because of the nature of the situations it is extra important to not assume the worst but rather ask people to clarify ?

i dont know

you people are smart and i think you know whats right and whats wrong pretty well

i hope

[silverheartlugia2000]

I love all the reblog additions but brain said i have GOT to put some meat into the starting point so..

no one has said just how long or extensive danny's recovery was yet. Jason still setting up his bases, having to look for men, does NOT have control of crime alley yet. but has tapped into the bat system just to know where everyone is at any given time and catch up on what all he missed, hears about this weird rouge and pings that while the dude is VERY effecient at somehow loosing the bats, the tech he has is worrying, its what he's stealing thats suspicious.. thats enough food to feed an army, and the medical stuff is mostly bandages, anti biotics and a shit ton of pain killers... and how this dude with the same body type is trying to set up connections in the alley? yeah he tails the guy home after he's done convincing a few people to let him fix their ac. pins it for later and waits for him to leave again.

The security was.. odd. Effective for sure, but also cobbled together from miss matching parts and only half finished in some places.

First thing he notices is the place is COLD like the guy did great work on the ac units but this was see your breath chilled. there are coats around that fit the guys size, as well as the bright orange suit that earned the guy his name.

Jason starts checking the rooms. Finding partialy built things, some he couldnt guess, some seemed like costomer orders from the notes he found next to them. in the kitchen he finds some sort of air filter that is collecting suspicious green stuff. but its.. its not lazurus water. he can SEE it collecting from nothing but air it LOOKS similar but it dosent give him the same feeling. infact it makes him feel hungry which is weird?? he'd look into that later..

Then? ohoo then Jason finds the bedroom. He sees all the stolen med supplies strewn about, a cup and plate that are distinctly different from the ones found in the kitchen sitting on the night stand. The contents of which smell very VERY tempting to him. a tv thats playing some documentery J'onn featured in talking about his home.

And a kid, lying very still in the bed.

a kid that wasn't breathing.

A dead kid.

Just as Jason starts to think this is some Dr freeze situation the kid whimpers. the kid mumbles and thrashes tossing the blankets off enough so jason can see his torso absolutely mummified with red tinted bandages, those.. those should probably get changed..? Those look kind of old? the guy wasnt due back for a few hours yet.. jason cant just leave the kid there..

Especially when he starts begging his mom 'to please just stop please'. yeah jason is going to stay, he's going to get the full story, but first he's going to get the kid cleaned up.

By the time the guy gets back, the kid is in new bandages, and the actual wound was.. not plesant to see.. He was surprised to find no stitches. but considering that the kid's blood sometimes flickered to the same color as the weird collection goo? He'd admit leaving it be till he has more info. same with why its kept so cold in here when the kid is kinda clammy feeling. (Danny actually has a pretty bad fever, it just seems like below average to an outsider)

Jason is very calm even with a gun pointed at his head with the demand to 'step away from my son' with what he heard the kid say in his sleep? its understandable that the guy would be a bit protective.

Jason complies waiting outside doorway patiently while the guy checks over the kid. Who Jason finally has a name for. The guy wakes him up, the kid, Danny, is clearly still out of it not even noticing jason while the guy convinces him to eat the lunch left on the plate, that he needs the Ecto, was that the collection goo?

then Jason gets thrown through a loop when danny says, "Dad..? is someone here..?"

"Whatcha mean danno?"

"My ghost sense. I feel someone.. i dont know them but they feel safe..? they want to help..? theres a lot of anger but they're also lost in a way..?"

the guy pauses for a second. "I'll check the traps Danny boy, just sit here and rest ok?"

"Ok dad.. but you'll get me if they cause trouble..?"

"Of course baby. Hey look there's a marathon of that sci fi show you love on tonight!"

"This is manipulation and you know it.."

"True. But you did say it helps right? and how many times have you used that trick on me behind my back?"

Danny grumbles but settles back under the covers.

The guy kisses Danny's hair and closes the door halfway. looks at jason and scruffs him like a kitten to carry into his work room (sound proofed after learning how much the noise bothers danny) for a talk.

Jason for his part is mostly shocked the guy picked him up so easily. only snapping out of it when some device is waved in his direction and the guy frowns at whatever its showing.

"Soo... what happened to him? I heard some things while he was sleeping. I could help. but i need the full story."

the guy sighs, and flops in a chair that creeks dangerously from the weight.

"Well if what these readings are telling me are right. And Danny's instincts are reacting to you and not someone else. I guess you should know just in case.."

Jason keeps his posture casual and non threatening. Even more invested as his own vibes are somehow involved now?

"My wife and I spent years researching ghosts, trying to catch them, study them, hunt for them.. But our theories.. they were so wrong.. I didn't realize, didn't WANT to realize any different. We thought ghosts were nothing more than after images imprinting on Ectoplasm. Non sentient, non feeling imitations of people. who existed purely to manipulate and destroy whatever they wanted. not caring about the concequinces."

"......that contradicts itself in so many ways Tangerine... I just.. How?"

"Oh trust me I've gotten the lectures about it.. i understand that now. Anyway, Danny my baby boy, he... he had an accedent in the lab.. we had tried to make a portal into the ghost zone and it just, it didn't work. But Danny was showing it to his friends one day and the power for the whole city block fizzled out and when we came home the portal was working and danny had been rushed to the hospital for electrical trauma..."

Jason has a bad feeling about where this is going...

"but then actual ghosts started showing up along with with one in particular that would always fight with them then disapear and we were so convinced that he was the one starting the fights and catching him would put a stop to things. But I was blind.. Phantom was just trying to protect his haunt, he was helping, he helped me a few times even. And Danny, had been growing so distant from us. we thought he was just going through a rebelious phase ya know?"

Jason has a VERY bad feeling now. this was checking so many familiar boxes.

"Danny finally came up to us one day and said that he was Phantom, that the accedent had killed him, but he came back too. He's stuck in between, the ghosts named him a Halfa. I felt so bad.."

the guy was crying now. oh crap this hit too close to home.

"And my wife, my ex wife now she, she didn't see it the way I did- she just- and I had to get him out get him safe."

"Ok I get it, calm down. if you're hiding out though why are you trying so hard with the neighbors? also you need to stitch the kid up he's not gonna heal like that.."

"Because I need to know if she or the GIW get close, and the best way to do that is establishing roots! Look, I'm not asking for details, Danny said its a triggering topic which is completely understandable, but for you to have these readings means you need to be on guard too. And im trying to help danny i really am. but Im in no way trained for this. Ive tried stitching him up, I do needle point as a hobby but i look at him and just freeze up.."

"It's different when its a person.. I.. I might know a guy for that.." jason sighs, he was going to talk to him eventually but with this news? he needs to move up some plans, and they'd be happy to run interference for him till he's ready..

--

The next day hood is back with what seems to be a kidnapped butler. even though Alfred seems perfectly calm after being dragged into a car with the mysterious red hood. it took all of five minutes for him to tag along willingly. jason is sort of suspicious he hasn't hit his panic button.

Hood has introduced himself to Danny and he sits next to the bed while Alfie preps for treatment and listens to the guy, Jack, who is going through his notes on what Danny has told him about ghosts.

Apparently they needed to use some specially formulated fishing line instead of medical thread, incase Danny phases them out on accedent. the tv show was actually helping. something about emotional stimulation from feeding obsessions. Danny cuts in explaining more on that, how it was a ghosts reason for staying. what kept them existing. Like a special intrest that actually tied to their wellbeing. it was frowned upon to interfere with those and thats why danny had so much trouble at home. but he just didn't know, not until someone talked to him about it. once the others realized that he was a baby defending his haunt, and didn't even know what a haunt was. they eased up and tried to be better at explaining things first.

"You're trying to build a haunt right?" Danny asks hood. "I can kinda feel it. but you havent been here for a while so the connection is weak."

"I.. grew up here yeah. but its been a while.. though that does explain the weird 'walking over my grave' sensation i get sometimes..."

"As much as I would like to know more about your new wellfare needs, lets wait and discuss this more after we patch up your new friend, yes master Jason?"

"I don- you just- *sigh* you never cease to amaze me Alfie.."

"You may have grown a fair bit since your death but you can never fool me when it comes to family. And we will be having a talk about the runaround youve been giving your father."

"Hes got another robin! he didn't learn!"

"And you have no context for the reasons why. You will sit in this house and watch over your friend when I return to make dinner. And once patrol starts I will be coming back and we will have that discussion. but for now you can assist me by holding down Danny if we find out the anesthetic doesn't work."

"Yes Alfred..."

DP X DC Prompt #45

Gotham has a new rouge. Except he only steals food and medical supplies in great quantities.

(Jack takes Danny and runs to Gotham after a Reveal gone Wrong where Maddie tries to kill Danny)