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isa-ah · 1 year ago

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so heres my pitch for what happens before dimple shows up in the icmhwau:

teruki and mob are hanging out in the middle of one of black vinegars soccer fields. its after school and the sky is heavy and grey, but it hasnt started to rain just yet. mob snuck a milk carton on his way out so he could come see one of the stray cats that sometimes wander onto the school grounds. this one he knows from sitting by for terukis soccer practice over the last few months.

while hes bent down, making soft sounds and petting it, teruki is standing behind him, hands jammed in his pockets and sneering bc he doesnt do. exactly great. not being the center of attention. hes tapping his toe and waiting for mob to get it over with so they can go when theres this big crack of thunder overhead and the cat goes skittering off toward the trees- just as the sky opens up and theres one of those heavy late spring downpours.

teruki is taken offguard, bracing for the rain, when he realizes hes still stood there dry. mobs got a hand up, having thrown a barrier over them reflexively, and humming his disappointment. he stands, dusting his knees off, and when he turns around teruki tries to look like he hasnt just been standing there watching the whole time.

"can we go now?" rude. but no more rude than he usually is, so mob doesnt really mind. he hums his affirmation but pauses, and then shakes his head. teruki frowns and turns fully toward him in response.

mob kinda stands there, hands flexing and unflexing cause hes really not good at putting things into words in this au. it drags on long enough that teruki is just starting to pull away with a scoff when he is stopped cold like he took a stone to the head.

"teru."

that gets his attention in a big way that makes his stomach roil. mobs never addressed him like this before- maybe a soft hanazawa-kun when he needed to, but the nickname cuts straight to the core and he is on guard immediately.

"i.. was thinking."

and now he is feeling outright defensive. a thousand scenarios playing out right like is mob sick of this? is this going to be bad news? is he trying to sugar coat it? and then, worst case scenario; mob steps forward, and starts to reach for him. his hands are small and bruised, little scars and bandages wrapped around his fingers. teruki put those there, and it feels like an intimacy too sacred and mortifying to be broached.

so teruki panics.

"DONT TOUCH ME!" slapping his hands aside. "you just laid hands on that disgusting vermin, its probably diseased."

and mob stands there looking so shocked teruki feels a thrill of success. derailed. whatever was about to happen has been successfully derailed. he preens, starting to turn to pull the lead before mob can recover, but mob speaks before he can get very far.

"cats are actually very good at grooming." tone flat, dry. it gets under terukis skin. mob never objects.

"yeah right. like im going to hear about hygiene from a brute like you." baseless, and mean, the kind of cutting comment he throws around easy but it seems to catch mob off guard this time.

hes frowning, brows turned down and his hair ruffled by a wind that cant reach them through his barrier. teruki sneers and mob shoves him, hands splayed into his ribs in frustrated defiance. teruki scoffs and pushes him tumbling back onto his ass, standing over him.

& its just instinct tbh, at this point, learned experience from watching teruki get backed into corners with his mouth, when mob mutters, "youre mean." and when teruki looks surprised, he continues. "youre a very mean person."

which teruki is taken aback by. "oh, as if! you dont have a high horse, not when youre just some commoner who happens to listen to instruction better than the rest of them. like you havent picked plenty of your own fights, too." that sort of thing. "its embarrassing that youd even try to come after me when youre just some- some nobody."

& its clearly reaching its mark bc as teruki talks, mobs curling his fingers into the grass and bits of dirt and torn blades are starting to curl up into the stagnant, humid air around them. his hairs started to lift and he looks unhappy.

"oh dont look so surprised. you knew what this was. and beyond that- you dont scare me, kageyama. i could kick your ass and still-"

hes cut off by this dizzying woosh, this spike of energy that makes his head spin, and the vertigo only intensifies as he looks around and realizes the barrier is gone; its not that the rain isnt landing on them, its that the rain isnt landing at all.

mob was definitely not radiating unadulterated power like this last time. he may have.. miscalculated his approach.

& you can imagine it from there. teruki panics and lashes out first, which pushes mob over the edge and suddenly theyre fighting and its UGLY. it makes their initial fight look like a joke. it makes the soccer field look like a battleground. it knocks teru half conscious, held by the throat in mobs sweaty, burning grip with blood dripping into his eyes when hes got an abrupt sense of nausea and something eye piercingly green shoots out his nose with an unceremonious, "oh jesus, kid."

im not like, a writer, but you get the idea. fill it in to be better than i could do it LOLOL mob tried to finally put into words, somewhat, what he feels about teruki, which made teruki FREAK because he doesnt know how to be vulnerable like that, he lashes out at mob, mob lashes out back, the autistic immovable object vs the unstoppable adhd force leading into an rsd death spiral. messy. awful. mob knocks the snot (dimple) out of him lololol

#icmhwau #terumob

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definitelynotshouting · 1 year ago

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i literally can't stop rotating hunger au worldbuilding and lore in my head. forgive me if you've ever touched on this in an ask before, but... re: the existential horror of being a parasite that has the sense of self of the host it ate. if one of grian's friends ever did get taken and used as a watcher larva host. how do you think he would feel about the watcher that came out the other side? would he want to see them as still the same person as his friend, or...?

Ive been staring at this ask since i got it with like. I need you to picture the most comically heartbroken expression right now okay. like this is me reading that and thinking about it in great and terrible detail:

Gods he would be devastated if this ever happened. He knows what thats like. He knows just how much it hurts-- and that its not a hurt that can be quantified, because its just that intense, that scalding, that encompassing of an experience to go through. I think, genuinely, Grian would be so utterly horrified and grief-stricken for whichever friend went through the Watcherification process that it would trump every other potential feeling on the list

But i think, ultimately, he would still view them as his friend, and treat them in the same way. There's a little bit of hypocrisy in Grian's character that i enjoy engaging with while writing him, and a good part of that in hunger au is centered around how he's firmly designated himself as the monster, and everybody else is the victim, and theres no room for nuance because he sucks and theyre the only people who are valid. When in reality, yes he hurt them, yes he did terrible and invasive things, but he did them out of pure survival rather than maliciousness, and that does make a subtle difference. And... hes not the only one who has fucked up, either!! The entire point of hunger au is how everyone has fumbled the bag in various ways and now they're all trying to clean it up together. Its just, yknow, Grian is so wrapped up in his own pain that he cant see those grey areas yet

And the thing is, if one of his friends got Watchered™, so to speak, and was standing in front of him, i think he would treat them with SO much compassion. Theyve been through possibly the worst thing anyone can experience and come out the other side-- at his core, Grian is i think a character who wants to do good, and do good by other people, and in this hypothetical that would translate into a lot of kindness he doesnt usually afford for himself. Honestly i think he'd spend the time trying to show them the ropes, get them set up in a better position than he found himself in, and provide his own fumbling emotional support as best he could, just out of sheer solidarity. Like, he gets it. He's been there. He may as well help out.

And i think he wouldnt even realize how hypocritical he's being until someone else pointed it out to him, about how he treats this friend with so much care but is simultaneously cruel to himself. I dont think he'd know how to handle that-- he's sort of dug himself a rut in the road with the way he thinks about and treats himself, and the cognitive dissonance would be really uncomfortable for him. Ultimately a good thing!!! Growth is often very uncomfortable. But imo Grian has a tendency to run from things like feelings of discomfort, so i think it'd take him a while to reconcile his previous ways of thinking with whats being presented in front of him essentially in the form of a mirror.

So uh. tl;dr: he'd be a little hypocrite about it and would feel a lot more compassionately inclined towards the friend than he does himself, and would try to help them out as best he could. Thank you for the incredible question that has given me the opportunity to rotate this worm at even higher speeds than usual inside my brainpan DKNFEKNDSKDJKDKD

#shouting speaks #asks #hunger au #compliments #theres also like. the factor that a lot of grian's self-hate stems from the games #he was always a bit unstable about his self-perception after he became a Watcher #but he wasnt as actively loathing himself until after the life games started #like he took GREAT pains to ''eat ethically'' and try to manufactor joy more than fear #which is why he starved. its harder to wrangle those emotions out of people than it is to shove them in a box; scare them; & eat the buffet #idk i have so many feelings about him as a character. oh hunger!grian my blorbo of blorbos. we're really in it now #txt

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suffarustuffaru · 10 months ago

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The fanbase is scaring me, the redesigns brought up some weird people that are REALLY passionate about Liliana being half naked

Like theres a whole war going on on twitter rn and the poor character designer got harassed

My problem is with the amount of people upset with this, like i knew we had a bunch of pedos around because of the way tappei writes the girls, but damn i didnt think there were this many of them 💀

yes ive heard about that....... im answering your ask late oops haah but i hope the situations a Bit better..... the toxic parts of this fandom give me a headache but my usual motto is to stay off twitter, touch grass, ignore people, and then hold onto my own viewpoints unless proven wrong alsjdflsdj but like. yeah this fandom is a bit tough to stay in when it comes to certain circles (for example the amount of people low quality shitposting / ranting about the fandom or whatever on rezero ao3 atm in the past days/weeks is. mm. interesting). not my first time being in larger fandoms that make you sometimes feel like youre fighting in the trenches (you could name off a few big fandoms notorious for being toxic that date back to like 2016 and odds are ive been in a couple lajdlf) but yeah seeing people complain about liliana and capella's designs and then overly fixate on emilia's boobs when these three characters have more to bring to the table than just that and theres lots and lots of good things to say about the s3 trailer and their designs..... mm. yeah. im squinting hard at a few of the things ive heard on that. but anyway!!

like the new designs are an Improvement. In General. like ok, as a boob haver myself ("boob haver" is the funniest phrase to me alsdjfls but it is true nonetheless, i am one) i do not give a shit about emilias larger boobs like ok?? her boobs are bigger?? she is still my fav ever and sometimes it just happens when youre still a growing teen/young adult and emilias back to her more revealing main outfit when she wore a different outfit in s2 so the difference in chest size is really not that much. but liliana and capella? those are Improved designs. i think ive talked abt the treatment of underage characters / characters who appear underage on my blog before (and i definitely couldve worded myself better then but i stand behind the fact that some of the stuff otsuka and tappei do regarding this in rezero is just Unnecessary).

could designs like emilia's still be improved on in other ways? yeah 100%, just in the sense that there could probably be changed a bit to fit her slightly more timid and soft spoken personality. or you could take different directions on it in general if you wanted. ive seen some great redesigns of her main outfit!! though her main outfit in of itself is pretty nice to look at imo and its iconic and well-known for a reason. im of the personal opinion that i wish it was a little less revealing in the same vein that her s2 main outfit was (i like that outfit a lot!!) but its still a really solid design overall.

i had some faith after seeing the anime designers fix up typhoon's original design to be More Appropriate, and i love how the essence of liliana and capella's designs were kept the same. like its not just that theyre a little less revealing (and even then, theyre both still showing a lot of skin!!! which is good!!! i like the improvement while keeping the main stuff the same), but stuff like liliana's pants aren't transparent (probably to make it easier to animate?) and the yellow/orange gradient in capella's hair looks great!! they also both look more like grown women which is a bonus. unless youre Weird about this shit which is unfortunately a small percentage of the rezero community. like you cant win with those sort of people ig, bc capella's boobs are bigger too ljasdlfj youd think that win more people over.

also i appreciate capella's sports bra bc unlike elsa's outfit it Actually looks like it's supporting her chest. if youre someone with boobs and you dont have a flat chest, youre gonna need support when being active or itll Hurt. and elsa Does Not have proper chest support okay. ill forever wince remembering elsa's design in that sense HAH....

anyway but i digress. i got no clue what to do with toxic people in fandoms despite spending a lot of time lurking in large fandoms with loud toxic people haah.... its hard to do much about it especially with increasingly declining media literacy rates everywhere.... the notorious misogyny/homophobia/etc that can happen sometimes in anime communities.... that sort of thing. i kinda just avoid it when it comes to rezero in specific, or briefly talk about it on here, or rant about it to myself in my head or chat with pals about it in private if it really frustrates me that much!! and id say im a pretty patient person hah... im not frustrated often. and the fandom is not all weird people of course and i can attest to that as ive chatted with a lot of people here... ive also seen a lot of people leave due to the fandom's Issues which is. totally fair tbh.

and i think rezero is often a "baby's first fandom" so to speak... i dont mean that in a bad way of course but its more like its the first exposure to fandom and fandom etiquette and fic etiquette and that sort of thing when it comes to english circles. or at least its a pattern ive noticed, so my theory is that that occasionally that combines with toxic fans and then you get a few people complaining about the community and how bad our fics are on rezero ao3 ig lajdlfjsdlf. which is false by the way :<< and an annoying misuse of ao3 as a free creative archive :<<

but ultimately i hope the rezero character designer's alright (and honestly theyve done super super great work - like the anime Did Not need to give emilia a bajillion outfits and go above and beyond with improving liliana, capella, giving the suwens and their hometown a whole unique aesthetic, etc). and also while i have stuff to criticize with otsuka and tappei... and the toxic parts of the fandom hah... i still enjoy rezero apart from that and the uproar with the designs has not chipped away at me too much!! ive been in this fandom long enough i guess lmao i just roll with punches at this point T^T but i also just try to look on the bright side a lot in general so ;-;;;

these are the sorts of things i like to be aware about but i dont like to get myself super involved with it (since itll probably make it worse and/or make me stressed for no good reason lmfaoo) and i wont let it enjoy the parts of rezero that i do enjoy a lot (which is to say like. the other 98% of rezero hah). so. getting off twitter is the biggest godsend i promise lajdlsfj.

but anyway!! yeah i dont have much organized thoughts on all of this, this is just me rambling my feelings on it. hope this all makes sense anon <3

#idk how things are on the eastern side of the fandom but the western side can be a little. wild yes.#ask #i try to be as fair as possible in my opinions ljasldfjd but yeah like. people complaining about the designs. i dont agree with it for a Lo #t of reasons. and on a lighter note #honestly my only thing with capellas anime design is that her eyes arent more red!! :<< but her pink eyes look very nice too though <3 #i hope to see like a red-pink gradient on them maybe... thatd be cool...

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spacesymbol · 5 months ago

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anyways HI. its been uhh... two weeks since last post but about a month since any actual life updates. so im gonna do... that!

gonna split this one into tumblr specific updates and personal updates since i figure the latter is a little less important to some people. not trying to sound mean there, i get the feeling!

anyways, tumblr specific updates!

the big update is that i completely revamped my carrd. theres a lot more text now, and the layout doesnt look as good on mobile as it does on desktop, but i still like how it looks a lot better than the previous version.

i also added a new tag to my pinned. the tag is just this 📁 emoji, and its sort of a catchall tag for posts about media that i like. since i got rid of alter tags a while ago and i dont really like tagging specific franchises, i figured this works better for now.

my pinned post was also updated to reflect this change, and theres even a new tag guide/explanation!

okay now for the more personal life related updates. theres a LOT you have been warned!

where did i last leave off... right, the delaware trip! okay well i say that as if a lot happened on that trip. which is incorrect.

the only real big thing about the delaware trip was that i was kind of suffering for the whole trip since i had just been put back on adhd medication, and the dosage was WAY too high so my body did not adjust well at all and i was having like horrific symptoms for the whole week. and i wish i could truthfully say that the dosage of that medication is sorted out now but i cant!!!! 🥲

in the four days between the end of the delaware trip and the first day of school i went to a friends belated birthday party... which was the only time i hung out with any of my friends for the entire summer actually. but the party was still fun...!!

the rest of the updates are gonna be school related. since the next significant thing after that party was the first day of senior year.

my classes have all been manageable so far. i think the stress is definitely going to pile up soon with college application deadlines swiftly approaching, but the impending reality of that hasnt really set in yet. it is definitely nice to be taking classes i genuinely enjoy this year, even if the coursework is difficult!

i dont remember how much ive talked about my social standing at school on here but tldr it sucks. i dont have any genuinely close friends or a dedicated friend group that enjoys my presence at all. something something the we should call fiona interview quote... thats basically described my social situation for the past several months.

in terms of theater. hoo boy. well you see, our drama teacher (and shows producer) is on maternity leave. and not only did she switch the order of plays and musicals again (the fall show is a play this year), but she chose two plays for us to do this fall.

basically both shows are one act plays with no real lead roles since the scenes arent connected at all. performances will go like: show one, intermission, show two. and the "no lead roles" thing would be great except for the fact that this is one of my two senior theater productions with this school and i would like the chance to earn bigger roles, you know?

anyways auditions came and went and the cast list was released last thursday. and you will never guess who one of my romantic scene partners is. well. its my ex 😁👍

i mean besides the fact that i have to pretend to swoon over my ex, im really happy with my roles. i got double cast in one of the plays as opposed to one role in each play, and i like the play i got double cast in a lot better. and i only auditioned with two scenes from that play, and got cast in both of those scenes that i auditioned with, so i assume the director really liked my auditions?

also one of the scenes im in (not the one with my ex) is fully just an internalized homophobia turned "dude i think i love you" scene and its just SUCH a good scene. i really like my scenes and characters, i am just rightfully worried about rehearsing a romantic scene with my ex for two months...! but it will be fine. probably

okay this is getting REALLY long but uhhh general not-life-related updates.

undertale day!!! we split a chara less than 24 hours after the newsletter dropped 👍

my cats fifth birthday was last wednesday!!!!!! i could write a whole essay about how much this tiny beast means to me but just know i love her lots okay?

okay. okay. i THINK thats everything i have to say. uhh this is the part of the post where i talk about future tumblr updates and status.

idk. idk!!!!!!!!! the stress and busyness of senior year is kind of starting to get to me a bit so i might just disappear for a few months. or maybe ill continue updates every couple of weeks or every month.

i definitely want to return to posting here as regularly as i used to, but i always either avoid it for some reason or have other things i need to be doing instead. so whos to say how active ill be! i definitely dont know!

#💭

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dykeyote · 1 year ago

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💔 + 🎥 for tpo or rgu (or both!!)

also maybe 📜 for rgu cause i’m trying to get into it

i assume u mean tpp bc idk what else tpo would be tho i may be being stupid ...... so i will do both bc i like to talk >:)

one of my least favorite characters from penumbra and why: oh god i really cannot stand mick mercury . i really cant . i just really dont like himbo characters or anything adjacent ..... unless its handled INSANELY well or in a really new and compelling way i just Do not like cis guy characters where the whole thing is that theyre like incompetent and dumb and thats their main thing and often feels like their Only thing i just Do not like it they immediately get on my nerves and i dont like his voice either so whenever hes on the show i am Displeased ...... theres interesting aspects to him and idk i get why people like him i suppose but i cannot stand him . at all . he just is like the biggest example of a trope i really hate </3

one of my least favorite characters from rgu and why: this ones tricky because like .... i like most of the characters that dont do awful shit . like i can be like "oh i hate akio" and ur gonna be like yeah duh ......

fav scene from penumbra: i did this a while ago in this post but ill also throw in one that i forgot which is that i do quite like juno and cassandra's interactions in murderous mask also .... its quite entertaining and puts an interesting lens on both characters . and also theyre both really fucking funny

fav scene from rgu: okay like.... there are many INSANELY good scenes in rgu . so beautiful so cool so fucking thought provoking it is an AMAZING show . however ngl the scene i think and talk the most abt (i literally was talking abt this to my friend the other day who was thinking abt watching it) is the goddamn scene in the dub (idk what its like in the sub i havent seen it i might after i finish watching the dub thru bc i struggle w paying attntion to captions) where they like . show this like triple angle shot of utena and all the girls are staring at her with heart eyes and shit and then they go in the silliest fucking anime dub voice "Shes So Cool" when it is so obvious that they all want to say shes smoking hot and they need her rn . love that scene . i think abt it all the time . its so funny . why would u censor the lesbians of ohtori academy which is apparently all the girls ever

plotline of rgu and what kind of media it is: revolutionary girl utena is a late 90s anime that was heavily influential on the anime that came later and on animation in general (: the plot surrounds utena tenjou, a teenage girl (ish . her relationship to gender is VERY complex and she is at the very least clearly butch to me . bigender utena 4eva) who wants to be a prince and who is sort of unintentionally drawn into a duel for (among other things) the hand of the rose bride, anthy himemiya, a teenage girl with some magical capacities who is treated more as an object than a person by those who want to win her. utena wins the duel, and continues to have to defend her spot as champion despite not particularly Wanting anthy to treat her as her owner and bride-to-be. things obviously spiral down and get way more complicated from there but thats the basic synopsis of the beginning without spoiling later stuff (: (and obligatory warning for anyone intrigued by that that it gets very heavy later on check the warnings ideally on smt besides does the dog die bc there is a Large amnt and imo the does the dog die doesnt really cover them properly or explicitly explain how intrinsically tied to the narrative some of said warnings Are)

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pinnithin · 1 year ago

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long kind of sad gay poast ahead

saw something about loving the unlovable and it got me thinking about how its a central theme in most of my writing. paired with like, isolation, being separate/other, the doomed concept of human connection, being the only person who can love and understand you the way you need, etc - i watched evangelion way too young if you couldnt guess.

anyway and this is due to the fact that a core part of my identity and personality revolves around the fact that i considered myself unlovable for the majority of my life, first unconsciously through childhood neglect, then by choice as some "you cant fire me i quit" teen angst sort of thing, then by a doomed sense of resignation all through college. its a significant part of how i see myself even now after years of working to unlearn it - ive managed to dial it back to "im difficult to love" which still isnt great but yknow. better than it was

which is why i have attachment issues and preferred one night stands for a long time. my romantic relationships (many of them short lived) have been with well meaning partners who assured me constantly that like, even though youre difficult to love its worth it. and that was all nice and good but it made me feel so fraudulent and disgusted with myself because it put me in the position of thinking either 1) this person doesnt actually know me that well at all or 2) i have somehow tricked this person into thinking under all the baggage theres someone worth loving. which is something i find difficult to reconcile with because the baggage is me too. i cant get rid of it. inevitably those people got wise and it ended up not working out.

by now have all these arguments and strategies geared up to explain to people who make the mistake of caring about me that its really not worth the effort, we're better off as friends or acquaintances, etc. im very transparent about the issues i deal with so its all just laid out there from the beginning and im not like, tricking people into being in a relationship with me or whatever by hiding it. ive talked in circles with exes over and over along the general lines of "im difficult to love" > "no youre not" > "i have xyz wrong with me and i push people away, trust me you dont want to deal with this" > "okay well we can work on that, and youll get better and itll be worth it" > "what if i never get better" > "you will, ill help you" > [me relenting bc im unable to dash their hopes and dreams that even if i Get Better im still Me at the core and the things that make me difficult to love are a permanent part of me]

the relationship im in now doesnt even let me get into that. shan is just like, youre not. youre not difficult to love, youre actually very easy to love and it has always been easy to love you, even before we were dating. and i dont have a comeback for that.

even with my usual strategy of "heres an itemized list of all the reasons dating me is a risk" theyre just like well sure, thats difficult for you to deal with, and im sorry its so hard for you, but that doesnt make you difficult to love. the loving is easy. that part has always been easy.

she doesnt treat me like a problem that needs to be solved she doesnt try to be my savior from myself she doesnt give any indication that shes just waiting it out until i reach a certain threshold of acceptable or unacceptable. she just loves me and trusts me to take care of myself, and it places a lot of personal responsibility on me to be better - not for us but for me, because im the only person who can do that and they know it.

its the healthiest relationship ive ever been in and ive never felt so safe and free to be myself. i dont need to live up to any expectations to eventually make myself lovable. im easy to love. hard thing for me to believe in self practice but going back to the inherent disconnect between all humans, who am i to know or control what they consider easy or difficult? i dont judge her when something she finds difficult is easy for me, so why wouldn't the opposite be true?

#started thinking about this first thing in the morning for some reason #i think because im moving again and its making me think of the last time i moved #out of the house i shared with my ex #something about grief being cyclical idk #pin talks #im doing a lot of posting and not a lot of packing. lol

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toxic-ship-tournament · 2 years ago

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OK AT LAST THE PROMISED ESMERALICE RANT

OK SO... THEY BOTH ENDED UP DRUGGING EACH OTHER MULTIPLE TIMES, AS WELL AS KNOCKING EACH OTHER UNCONSCIOUS AND WHILE WHEN POOFENPLOTZ WAS DOING IT(PREBREAKUP) SHE MOSTLY DID IT AS A WAY TO CONVINCE ALICE SHE WAS ENJOYING THE PARTIES AND GROUP STUFF POOFENPLOTZ WAS BRINGING HER TO("I MEAN, DENY HOW YOU GOT SHITFACED DRUNK ALL YOU LIKE, I HAD TO CARRY YOU TO MY HOUSE."(SOMETHING WHICH IS ALSO SPECIFICALLY MEANT TO TICK OFF ALICE BASED ON HOW YOUNG ALICE INTERPRETS PERFECTION)) WHEREAS. ALICE(BOTH BACK THEN AND NOW) MOSTLY DID IT TO KIDNAP OR TAUNT HER. IN ADDITION, ALICE(CURRENT ASSUME ALL OF THIS STUFF IS CURRENT) MIND CONTROLS OR READS HER MIND DESPITE POOFENPLOTZ DOING EVERYTHING IN HER POWER TO BOTH TELL HER TO AND MAKE HER STOP THAT, AND USES THAT CONTROL AND INFORMATION TO BASICALLY BE REALLY PETTY AND DIG AT POOFENPLOTZ, ALTHOUGH SHE ALSO USES IT TO LIKE. TRY AND KILL THE CLOSEST THING SHE HAS TO AN ACCEPTING FAMILY BUT WE'LL GET INTO THAT LATER. ALSO OBLIGATORY "NONE OF THE DRUGGING OR MIND CONTROL GOES IN A NON/DUB-CON DIRECTION. POOFENPLOTZ WOULDN'T WANT TO DO SEX USUALLY ANYWAYS BUT ITS A DEFINITE NO WHEN SHE JUST DRUGGED HER PARTNER, AND ALICE HAS VERY SPECIFIC "RULES" ABOUT MAKING SURE PEOPLE AGREE TO WHAT SHE WANTS IN THEIR "RIGHT MIND" (INCREDIBLY VAGUE USUALLY BUT FOR POOFENPLOTZ IT BASICALLY MEANS "NOT DRUGGED DRUNK OR MIND CONTROLLED") SO"

ALSO ALICE AND POOFENPLOTZ BOTH GAVE EACH OTHER EATING DISORDERS. THAT'S ONLY KIND OF A SIMPLIFIED WAY OF PUTTING IT. ALICE MADE SURE POOFENPLOTZ HAD TO "KEEP UP APPEARANCES" AND POOFENPLOTZ MOCKED HER ABOUT IT ENOUGH THAT THEY BOTH KINDA ENDED UP SPIRALING. IRONICALLY, THIS IS THE ONE SITUATION WHERE ALICE RECOVERED BETTER THEN POOFENPLOTZ. MOSTLY BY PROCEEDING TO GO "ACTUALLY I DONT CARE ABOUT MY EX AT ALL" AND DENIALED SO HARD SHE MANIFESTED NOT CARING ABOUT THAT STUFF EITHER ANYMORE. SHE DID THEN USE POOFENPLOTZS TECHNIQUES WITH A HEALTHY DOSE OF ATTEMPTED CULT LEADER WISDOM TO GIVE OTHER PEOPLE EATING DISORDERS TO INCREASE HER CONTROL OVER THEM. SO.... YUP. ALICE ABSOLUTELY SNAPS AT POOFENPLOTZ ABOUT THE HORRIFIC DOUBLE STANDARD, BUT ITS WELL AFTER IT WOULD HAVE APPLIED AND WHEN ITS IN A SITUATION WHERE ALICE GOT TO HEAL AND POOFENPLOTZ STILL STRUGGLES WITH IT CONSTANTLY? OOF. (ALSO IM SORRY FOR THE JOKING TONE ON THIS I PROMISE I DO TAKE EATING DISORDERS AS SERIOUSLY AS POSSIBLE THEYRE JUST HARD FOR ME TO TALK ABOUT OTHERWISE BC. WELL I DONT NEED TO GIVE OUT PERSONAL INFORMATION LIKE THIS BUT I THINK IF YOU READ THIS BIT ITS OBVIOUS.)

THERES THE USUAL "MURDER FOR EACH OTHER, DEATH THREATS, SUICIDE THREATS, KIDNAPPING, COERCION, ETC" BETWEEN THEM BUT THOSE ARE MOSTLY BASIC STUFF AND IM RUNNING ON ZERO BRAINPOWER AND A LOTTA EXHAUSTION SO ILL SKIP ABOUT SEVEN MORE PARAGRAPHS RN AND GO TO THE FAMILY THING I PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED.

ESSENTIALLY(AT THIS POINT IN THE STORY) POOFENPLOTZS ENDED UP FINDING SOME SORT OF SOLIDARITY AND FAMILY WITHIN MILLIE AND PINKY, ALONG WITH A LITTLE BIT OF SUPPORT AND COMMUNITY W THE OTHER FIRESIDE GIRLS SO FAR. NOW, ALICE HAS A WHOLE THING OF REACHING PERFECTION THAT POOFENPLOTZ EGGED HER ON ABOUT, AND HER CURRENT STEP ON THAT ROAD REQUIRES HER TO BASICALLY KIDNAP MILLIE AND PINKY(PINKY ISNT NECESSARY SO MUCH AS SHE JUST WANTS TO EXPIRAMENT A BIT BUT THATS THE SAME AS NEEDING HIM TO HER), SO HAVING HER HALF EX HALF CURRENT GIRLFRIEND WHOS BEEN ROASTING HER ALIVE FOR ALL THE SHORTCOMINGS AND THINGS SHE CANT STAND ABOUT HERSELF, STANDING IN THE WAY OF THE TWO PEOPLE SHE NEEDS TO TAKE? POOFENPLOTZ IS GOOD AT FIGHTING BUT SHES NOT GONNA SURVIVE ALICE WITHOUT ANY WEAPONS. ALICE BASICALLY USES ALL OF POOFENPLOTZ'S INSECURITIES AND ISSUES RIGHT BACK AT HER, USING WHAT INFORMATION SHE GAINED BY NOT GIVING TWO SHITS ABOUT POOFENPLOTZS BOUNDARIES OR ANYTHING TO BASICALLY KILL HER *JAZZ HANDS*. ALSO KIDNAPPING THE TWO PEOPLE SHE ACTUALLY HAD WHILE SHE BLEEDS OUT ON THE FLOOR. IT ALL ENDS UP FINE NECROMANCY/HJ BUT LIKW. YEAH.

I PROMISE THIS IS A COHERENT NOT GRIMDARK EVERYONE ENDS UP HAPPY IN CHARACTER PHINEAS AND FERB AU. AM VERY EXHAUSTED SORRY IF THIS DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE. THEY'RE BASICALLY THE DEFINITION OF THIS POST

#propaganda post #tw: ed mention #(dw about the ed stuff I get it)

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snekdood · 2 years ago

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"Narcissistic abuse" vs NPD

Hey guys, i feel like I need to talk about something, if only because i was one of those ppl who ended up watching a lot of videos about "narcissistic abuse" which demonized tf out of ppl with NPD so now i feel a moral obligation to do something, whatever that may be. So I guess this is one of my attempts to do something.

Because im someone who ended up watching a lot of those videos, it really forged my perceptions of people with NPD, but i think theres an important distinction here to be made. I do personally feel like narcissistic abuse exists, but i dont think it exists *only* within the realm of people with npd as a lot of these videos and articles suggest. I think just about anyone can engage in narcissistic abuse because the point is the abuse is incredibly selfish and self centered on part of the abuser. I dont think it has to be connected with people with NPD and the only connection is made with the similar names, so maybe we need to come up with a new term for it, because ive personally found a lot of value out of those videos, it helped explain to me what was going on, the way people abused me, the way their mind worked, what they were likely to do, etc. And has pretty much been on the nose. I dont think multiple videos like this would exist if there wasnt a common experience. I just dont think its something people with npd exclusively do like a lot of these videos suggest. Im like 90% sure one of my bullies abused me this way, would do anything to maintain their social standing and keep me on the bottom, but i do not believe that person has npd and it wouldnt be fair for me to diagnose that person anyways because i barely know anything about that person personally.

Part of the reason these videos kinda revealed to me its not just an npd thing is the fact that they kept having to come up with new, scarier words for ppl with npd. Like "the dark triad" or whatever because the realization that their trauma is the reason they act the way they do makes the victim upset and not want to have to sympathize, which is understandable, but its not healthy and it means they have to make it sound like its something more extreme to have a justification for essentially wanting that person to be kicked off the planet, which i can understand why an abuse victim might feel that way, i just dont think its helpful to shunt all the responsibility on to ppl with npd and obviously that abuse victim needs to be more practical, empathetic and realistic because you cant control other people and you're likely to not actually do anything to your abuser to get revenge, so sitting here seething in your contempt does nothing but hurt you long term while your abuser has essentially forgotten you exist. But i digress.

The biggest issue with these videos is the name of the abuse and the association with ppl with npd, because theres many reasons why people would want to keep their social position outside of an extremely insecure sense of self or whatever tf. The other issue with these videos is the huge demonization and misunderstanding about people with npd. The idea that theyre all abusive, that they cant change, that they hold every Bad diagnostic criteria and it makes them *evil* or whatever tf. The way people talk about ppl with npd in those videos is pretty horrendous actually. It gets to a point where you wonder if the person posting the video wants to essentially genocide ppl with npd, which i think is kinda fuckin crazy ngl, i dont think thats a solution nor do i think all ppl with npd are such a huge problem that we need to get rid of them or exile them from society or whatever tf. Ppl with npd more than anything need therapy of some sort, and these videos 100% can talk about this form of abuse without throwing ppl with npd under the bus every 5 seconds.

I know people dismiss this as just "any kind of abuse" but i really dont think it is, its a really specific, insidious type of abuse where someone will do anything to maintain their position, they will toss away all their morals bc maintaining that position is the most important thing to them. They are people who are very driven by their ego, and anyone can be driven by their ego, so no, its not just an npd thing. Theres other forms of abuse that arent driven by a need to maintain their social position, so also no, its not all the same and i dont think it should all be labeled as general abuse, because the trauma this can cause is notable and having a space to talk with people who've had similar experiences is really important and helpful. We just gotta stop demonizing ppl with npd since its very much not their sole issue, nor would i say its a guarantee ppl with npd will treat you that way, and its pretty toxic to assume that, especially since ppl without npd routinely engage in this form of abuse. I dont believe theres truly any justification for ostracizing and wanting to essentially kill off an entire group of people and ppl should stop trying to find excuses to do so.

Anyways, thing i wanted to say and have been thinking about for a while has been said, you may proceed with whatever judgements you seemingly endlessly have about me.

#narcissistic abuse #npd #also uh... i think we gotta be not so judgemental about ppl who have consumed that content bc theyre going off of what they were told.#those videos make a point of you apparently not needing the nuanced understanding of your abuser so ppl naturally dont look up the sad or #sympathetic parts of ppl with npd.#and bc those videos see narcissistic abuse and npd as essentially two sides of the same coin theres just a lot of confusion for the ppl #consuming those videos. the onus is on the ppl vreating that content to actually educate themselves and stop demonizing and generalizing an #entire population of people.#anyways yeh #my phone kept trying to write nod like every time i wrote npd. omg it just did it too. im so upset i hate my phone shsjkssk

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the-s1lly-corner · 1 year ago

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GENERAL JAX HCS

mix of a bunch of stuff, probably going to be writing random stuff while waiting for requests to come in so i have something to do side note i never actually felt a knot in my neck form, only wake up with them after getting them in my sleep... until today, felt one form right in the back of my neck while i was just. standing and oh my god it sucks so much i hate knots but actually feeling it. develop. right there. sucks more i think anyways this is a mixed bag of just basic jax hcs + stuff that can tie in with other characters or the reader, we'll see since i write these notes before doing anything else

would this really be a jax hc post by the silly corner if i didnt mention the fidget headcannon? literally the hc that i bring up the most in my posts when theres readers who have accessories or tails or what have you?

i think hes going to mess with anything he can get his hands on; usually passing them between his hands or perhaps tossing them around in the air and catching them.. if its something bouncy hes going to be bouncing it along the ground while he's walking.. i think sometimes with other characters, he does try to mess with them out of habit (plus given how he snatches zoobles arm it kind of. shows hes comfortable doing that sort of thing, you know?)

sometimes messes with ragathas bow, or zoobles antennae (though with zooble its more on purpose and to annoy them).. i think you get the idea

speaking of ragatha i think they would be good friends, i mean i personally think if ragatha didnt like jax she would keep her distance from him (though to be fair we still only have the pilot so far + i think ragatha would still be polite if she didnt like him)

as for his dynamic with zooble i think they kind of egg each other on, but on the rare occasion they do agree on something they do so begrudgingly

i think his ears twitch when hes thinking or when hes irritated, not huge movements... mostly little... twiks, you know?

i dont think he really has fur personally, and if he does its really short and smooth... in my opinion he looks like he would be made of the same material as those small squishy animal toys

these ones, i got a handful of them and theyre genuinely so soft and squishy, me thinks jax would feel like these things

on the off chance he needs to cook for whatever reason, hes a terrible cook. like i think he can make one meal but outside of that hes a disaster in the kitchen... also doesnt make a good kitchen partner because hes going to think its funny to hand you the wrong thing when you ask him to pass something

malicious incompetence but hes doing it to annoy you and will probably give you the right thing after a few rounds of messing with you

no one is safe from his antics, assuming he and ragatha are good friends, shes still subject to his jokes at the bare minimum

so.... if youre friends with him youre at least going to go through the same thing

i dont think he would be a good secret keeper most of the time. like yeah sure if its something serious and important i think he would put aside his douchbagie-ness for once and keep it

but if its something outside of that? yeah no you're have more luck confiding in caine, who imo would pounce on the opportunity to gossip

probably shouts random stuff, like "hey caine, (reader) thinks youre (insert outrageous lie)!" just to mess with you. does this to other people, usually ragatha or gangle... sometimes does it to kinger, i think... only reason he doesnt do it to zooble is because they will get his ass, and hes giving pomni a 'grace period' before he decides to drag her into his shit

hes an ass but i dont think he would just jump on someone/j

speaking of, while he can be mean to some people i do think he has his limits, like hes not going to kick you while youre already down or make fun of you for something you cant really control or manipulate you by hanging something over your head (see the secret keeping thing, while he will tease you about more basic stuff if its something serious hes not going to do it imo)

you know?

though i do think hes the type to steal something from someone in order to make them talk to him; especially if he has a crush on someone... hes just a little shit like that

has this LOOK on his face when the person comes to retrieve their thing, and tbh... i can also see him waving it around over their head (hes tall, and if they can still reach it he probably jumps.. gets on his toes.. stumbles away and holds them back ect) just to keep them around for just a little longer

whether this is actually successful in getting with the person romantically depends... personally it wouldnt work for me but hey, some people find that behavior endearing and/or will be able to eventually pick up on what hes doing

does not like being vulnerable, this goes for really anything regarding feelings as he thinks it ties in with weakness (spoiler, it doesnt)... probably has a "eeeewww feelings..." mindset (though might still let you vent to him... will act uninterested but if he really didnt care hed just walk away.. more actions than words, this one is)

rarely talks about how he actually feels about things if the feeling in question is anything less than indifference or amusement... though hes not opposed to expressing anger or annoyance... will let you do what you will with that information...

naturally because of him being weird about his feelings, romantic feelings fall into the "eeeeeewww feelings..." category so hes not going to be blunt, again, actions over words here... and even then the actions here are mostly him messing with the person and trying to get them to spend time with him as a result (even if its not... hanging out..)

#tadc x reader #the amazing digital circus x reader #digital circus x reader #jax x reader #jax x you #jax imagine

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jaimesrighthand · 10 months ago

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hotd is coming back soon and my desire to reread my favourite asoiaf fanfic is back with a vengeance.

anyways here are the bits of this chapter that make me lose my mind upon rereading (and lots of thinking about our doe):

"Queen Cersei decides who her family is, whether or not her blood commands it so"- i just... theres a reason that one fanart used this as a caption if i recall correctly. doe baby come here im giving a big hug.

"You knew... deep down... but you never wanted to believe it until the truth came roaring back at you in the future."- use of roaring here is iconic, zoomorphism always adds a kick. The thing about this line that drives me crazy is the implications for her relationship with Jaime. We know that she's close to both her uncles and there's a lot of lore with Tyrion (beloved relationship there!), but i have soooo many thoughts about jaime and her. clearly, it seems that cersei didn't push jaime away from leyla as she did his children for cersei reasons which adds another level of lannister craziness to their relationship.

"sweet Uncle Tyrion"- love doe for being the only pov to use that adjective for tyrion.

"ou rode either on your horse gifted to you by your Uncle Jaime or in the wheelhouse with your mother and younger siblings"- see how those two groups are directly contrasted, with doe being the bridgeway of sorts. i need to drink this juicy dynamic like sweetwine.

"Unashamed of standing beside the Kingslayer"- this and the line where he kisses her cheek and helps her down her horse are so fulfilling jaime's young aspirations of that conventional view of knighthood. its like doe is a reflection of the goodness of their character ugh help i cant take this!

"'Princess,' Robb takes your hand and places a gentle kiss over your knuckles, causing your fingers to tingle."- oh our sweet babies have no idea what lays ahead of them teehee

"You’ve been spending far too much time with your Uncle Tyrion if you take Robb Stark’s small talk as an innuendo."- see what happens when you let tyrion of all people parent your child, cersei. tsk tsk tsk. oh the humanity!

“My Uncle Jaime gave her to me. We named her Fawn.”- WE? WE? oh dear the symbolic significance of jaime helping name the horse after the baratheon sigil rather than the lannister one is so dear to me.

"You were always the wedge between your parents"- my poor baby

"the Queen Cersei only smiled with anticipation at you as she brushed her fingers through your hair, the alien motion driving you into shock."-physical affection from her mother being so rare to the point where it elicits a trauma response out of her makes me want to flip a table. oh the tragedy of it all

"Your mother did once.

And how sorely did Father disappoint her. "- robert can be viewed as the fulcrum of her tragedy as a character, but its also haunting how she has parallels to her mother as a character. Then again, that is partially Cersei's fault but thats a next chapter thing.

Black of Hair (Part One)

(Gif not mine)

Request: “Hi! So I had this idea for an imagine/fanfic (whatever you want) in my head where Robert and Cersei have one true born child together (so not Cersei’s and Jaime’s kids, they still exist though) and since Cersei kinda sees her as a threat cause she’s the rightful heir she wants her married off as soon as possible; and Robert and her decide that she has to be married of to Robb and the daughter and Robb fall in love, thank you!��” from @fuckoffupstairs

Fandom: Game of Thrones

Ship: Robb Stark x Female!Reader

Tags: black of hair got

Masterlist

Author’s Note: Thank you for this request! Sorry it took so long for me to get to, but once I sat down to write it I just couldn’t stop! My fingers were ready to fall off!

(I do not consent my works to be reposted/copied)

Keep reading

#yes i plan to do one of these for each chapter of my reread because im annoying #black of hair #black of hair got

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cogbreath · 1 year ago

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dump of my unorganized migraine riddled thoughts and feelings about recent things

maybe a lot of mistakes were made with the recent stuff with the callout stuff. i dont know. personally i never called anyone a pedophile or tried to insinuate anyone was and its distressing to hear about those accusations getting thrown around the way they were (are?) i dunno. people trying to develop some sort of epsteins list type thing it seems. fsct of the matter in terms of my own personal thoughts are that well its clear who is and isnt and really i just dont like the racists on here i dont like the way people came at some of the black users on here about it myself included. i cant speak for anyone else or say if they meant harm what they said but nonetheless lot of you folks are too eager to harm and attack black people regardless if they deserve criticism for what they said or not. tbh i dont even know what the situation is as it stands or where its gone. its become a mess that i dont like and cofnfuses me greatly. it should be simple. dont be transmisogynistic dont be racist and really you shouldn't claim people to be pedos unless you really are certain of that. i think leave people alone now to be honest unless theres really any risk of danger you know

ive tried to say what ive felt is the right thing and i still generally feel i did , there are people though who i will never like ans never forgive due 2 their racism. im not giving them support because of that. simple as. really its my right to.

really though im just one person

i hate the way people seem to act liek theres some sort of faction loyalty about this treating it like goddamn skyrim civil war

we all know how posts spread around here and its just illogical to say that all who ever reblogged a thing from someone means they r a supportyr of that person and their beliefs

though i think if its found out if that op isn't a safe person u should delete the post stop that shit from spreading i dont know why its suddenly hard for pepple to think this way when its undrrstood anytime a post from a fascist starts getting spread around

really im honestly backing out of discussions about what is and isnt okay or acceptable for anyone to sexualise or have a fetish for outside of the obvious things of its not okay to do that with non consenting people animals you know its literally simple easy stuff

whether or not someones into pregnant tf scenarios or mpreg or is a DL or any thing like that i really dont care and im not really interested in dissecting what it means or doesn't mean

im not an expert of sexual psychology and neither are you and i think you should leave people alone about it

i will never fw raceplay though and i have that right

and well honestly i think everyone has a right to not fw any kink its not illegal to dislike a kink or to be grossed out by it

and someone being grossed out by ur kink itsnt any form of hate on you as a human being either

just be nice 👍 everyone

and make sure everyone is safe

rememebr people generally mean well and generally dont want to hurt others needlessly

peoppe on here are quick to assume that every time someone does hurt someone on here its because they love it and are filled with hate and bigotry for their kind or something like that

i think because of the nature of the situations it is extra important to not assume the worst but rather ask people to clarify ?

i dont know

you people are smart and i think you know whats right and whats wrong pretty well

i hope

#unrebloggable because this is literally a dump of thoughts and stuff like sorry if u agree but its too unorganised for me to elt you share #you can share your thoughts in replies

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silverheartlugia2000 · 9 months ago

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I love all the reblog additions but brain said i have GOT to put some meat into the starting point so..

no one has said just how long or extensive danny's recovery was yet. Jason still setting up his bases, having to look for men, does NOT have control of crime alley yet. but has tapped into the bat system just to know where everyone is at any given time and catch up on what all he missed, hears about this weird rouge and pings that while the dude is VERY effecient at somehow loosing the bats, the tech he has is worrying, its what he's stealing thats suspicious.. thats enough food to feed an army, and the medical stuff is mostly bandages, anti biotics and a shit ton of pain killers... and how this dude with the same body type is trying to set up connections in the alley? yeah he tails the guy home after he's done convincing a few people to let him fix their ac. pins it for later and waits for him to leave again.

The security was.. odd. Effective for sure, but also cobbled together from miss matching parts and only half finished in some places.

First thing he notices is the place is COLD like the guy did great work on the ac units but this was see your breath chilled. there are coats around that fit the guys size, as well as the bright orange suit that earned the guy his name.

Jason starts checking the rooms. Finding partialy built things, some he couldnt guess, some seemed like costomer orders from the notes he found next to them. in the kitchen he finds some sort of air filter that is collecting suspicious green stuff. but its.. its not lazurus water. he can SEE it collecting from nothing but air it LOOKS similar but it dosent give him the same feeling. infact it makes him feel hungry which is weird?? he'd look into that later..

Then? ohoo then Jason finds the bedroom. He sees all the stolen med supplies strewn about, a cup and plate that are distinctly different from the ones found in the kitchen sitting on the night stand. The contents of which smell very VERY tempting to him. a tv thats playing some documentery J'onn featured in talking about his home.

And a kid, lying very still in the bed.

a kid that wasn't breathing.

A dead kid.

Just as Jason starts to think this is some Dr freeze situation the kid whimpers. the kid mumbles and thrashes tossing the blankets off enough so jason can see his torso absolutely mummified with red tinted bandages, those.. those should probably get changed..? Those look kind of old? the guy wasnt due back for a few hours yet.. jason cant just leave the kid there..

Especially when he starts begging his mom 'to please just stop please'. yeah jason is going to stay, he's going to get the full story, but first he's going to get the kid cleaned up.

By the time the guy gets back, the kid is in new bandages, and the actual wound was.. not plesant to see.. He was surprised to find no stitches. but considering that the kid's blood sometimes flickered to the same color as the weird collection goo? He'd admit leaving it be till he has more info. same with why its kept so cold in here when the kid is kinda clammy feeling. (Danny actually has a pretty bad fever, it just seems like below average to an outsider)

Jason is very calm even with a gun pointed at his head with the demand to 'step away from my son' with what he heard the kid say in his sleep? its understandable that the guy would be a bit protective.

Jason complies waiting outside doorway patiently while the guy checks over the kid. Who Jason finally has a name for. The guy wakes him up, the kid, Danny, is clearly still out of it not even noticing jason while the guy convinces him to eat the lunch left on the plate, that he needs the Ecto, was that the collection goo?

then Jason gets thrown through a loop when danny says, "Dad..? is someone here..?"

"Whatcha mean danno?"

"My ghost sense. I feel someone.. i dont know them but they feel safe..? they want to help..? theres a lot of anger but they're also lost in a way..?"

the guy pauses for a second. "I'll check the traps Danny boy, just sit here and rest ok?"

"Ok dad.. but you'll get me if they cause trouble..?"

"Of course baby. Hey look there's a marathon of that sci fi show you love on tonight!"

"This is manipulation and you know it.."

"True. But you did say it helps right? and how many times have you used that trick on me behind my back?"

Danny grumbles but settles back under the covers.

The guy kisses Danny's hair and closes the door halfway. looks at jason and scruffs him like a kitten to carry into his work room (sound proofed after learning how much the noise bothers danny) for a talk.

Jason for his part is mostly shocked the guy picked him up so easily. only snapping out of it when some device is waved in his direction and the guy frowns at whatever its showing.

"Soo... what happened to him? I heard some things while he was sleeping. I could help. but i need the full story."

the guy sighs, and flops in a chair that creeks dangerously from the weight.

"Well if what these readings are telling me are right. And Danny's instincts are reacting to you and not someone else. I guess you should know just in case.."

Jason keeps his posture casual and non threatening. Even more invested as his own vibes are somehow involved now?

"My wife and I spent years researching ghosts, trying to catch them, study them, hunt for them.. But our theories.. they were so wrong.. I didn't realize, didn't WANT to realize any different. We thought ghosts were nothing more than after images imprinting on Ectoplasm. Non sentient, non feeling imitations of people. who existed purely to manipulate and destroy whatever they wanted. not caring about the concequinces."

"......that contradicts itself in so many ways Tangerine... I just.. How?"

"Oh trust me I've gotten the lectures about it.. i understand that now. Anyway, Danny my baby boy, he... he had an accedent in the lab.. we had tried to make a portal into the ghost zone and it just, it didn't work. But Danny was showing it to his friends one day and the power for the whole city block fizzled out and when we came home the portal was working and danny had been rushed to the hospital for electrical trauma..."

Jason has a bad feeling about where this is going...

"but then actual ghosts started showing up along with with one in particular that would always fight with them then disapear and we were so convinced that he was the one starting the fights and catching him would put a stop to things. But I was blind.. Phantom was just trying to protect his haunt, he was helping, he helped me a few times even. And Danny, had been growing so distant from us. we thought he was just going through a rebelious phase ya know?"

Jason has a VERY bad feeling now. this was checking so many familiar boxes.

"Danny finally came up to us one day and said that he was Phantom, that the accedent had killed him, but he came back too. He's stuck in between, the ghosts named him a Halfa. I felt so bad.."

the guy was crying now. oh crap this hit too close to home.

"And my wife, my ex wife now she, she didn't see it the way I did- she just- and I had to get him out get him safe."

"Ok I get it, calm down. if you're hiding out though why are you trying so hard with the neighbors? also you need to stitch the kid up he's not gonna heal like that.."

"Because I need to know if she or the GIW get close, and the best way to do that is establishing roots! Look, I'm not asking for details, Danny said its a triggering topic which is completely understandable, but for you to have these readings means you need to be on guard too. And im trying to help danny i really am. but Im in no way trained for this. Ive tried stitching him up, I do needle point as a hobby but i look at him and just freeze up.."

"It's different when its a person.. I.. I might know a guy for that.." jason sighs, he was going to talk to him eventually but with this news? he needs to move up some plans, and they'd be happy to run interference for him till he's ready..

The next day hood is back with what seems to be a kidnapped butler. even though Alfred seems perfectly calm after being dragged into a car with the mysterious red hood. it took all of five minutes for him to tag along willingly. jason is sort of suspicious he hasn't hit his panic button.

Hood has introduced himself to Danny and he sits next to the bed while Alfie preps for treatment and listens to the guy, Jack, who is going through his notes on what Danny has told him about ghosts.

Apparently they needed to use some specially formulated fishing line instead of medical thread, incase Danny phases them out on accedent. the tv show was actually helping. something about emotional stimulation from feeding obsessions. Danny cuts in explaining more on that, how it was a ghosts reason for staying. what kept them existing. Like a special intrest that actually tied to their wellbeing. it was frowned upon to interfere with those and thats why danny had so much trouble at home. but he just didn't know, not until someone talked to him about it. once the others realized that he was a baby defending his haunt, and didn't even know what a haunt was. they eased up and tried to be better at explaining things first.

"You're trying to build a haunt right?" Danny asks hood. "I can kinda feel it. but you havent been here for a while so the connection is weak."

"I.. grew up here yeah. but its been a while.. though that does explain the weird 'walking over my grave' sensation i get sometimes..."

"As much as I would like to know more about your new wellfare needs, lets wait and discuss this more after we patch up your new friend, yes master Jason?"

"I don- you just- *sigh* you never cease to amaze me Alfie.."

"You may have grown a fair bit since your death but you can never fool me when it comes to family. And we will be having a talk about the runaround youve been giving your father."

"Hes got another robin! he didn't learn!"

"And you have no context for the reasons why. You will sit in this house and watch over your friend when I return to make dinner. And once patrol starts I will be coming back and we will have that discussion. but for now you can assist me by holding down Danny if we find out the anesthetic doesn't work."

"Yes Alfred..."

DP X DC Prompt #45

Gotham has a new rouge. Except he only steals food and medical supplies in great quantities.

(Jack takes Danny and runs to Gotham after a Reveal gone Wrong where Maddie tries to kill Danny)

#dpxdc #Rogue Jack Fenton #silverlugia responds to prompts

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absolutelyfizzing · 4 years ago

Text

He can't hurt you anymore

Bucky x reader

Description - Reader is the barista that Bucky has befriended at his local coffee shop but he thinks you may be hiding something. Your boyfriend might not be as kind as he tries to come off as. One day Bucky investigates and intervenes. Takes place around TFATWS but the shield isn't a factor. After the events of Endgame. Its pretty platonic Buck x Reader but it's sort of implied that future romance is probably a thing.

Warnings - TW DOMESTIC ABUSE!!! This is a big part of the story, if this is triggering for you, DO NOT READ THIS!! If you are in a situation where you need help getting out of an abusing household please get help. also endgame spoilers! Theres some cussing as well and female pronouns are used.

Word count - 4700 ish?

A/N - I am writing this from how an abusive relationship was for ME, how I acted, and the ways that I felt. This is in no way a generalization of how these situations are for most people nor is it a romanticization of abuse. Please reach out to someone or even me if you need help or you want to talk about anything. Do not read this story if you will be harmed by reading this, PLEASE.

MASTERLIST

Bucky's favorite part of his day was when he went to get coffee from the small shop down the street from his apartment. He didn't have many places he liked to go outside of the small room that he often felt trapped him but he knew that it was good for him to get out and interact with people. His therapist had told him as much.

He really didn't even like the coffee that much, he found that it made him jittery, but he went just to say hi to you. He always got the same order and usually got there around the same time so sometimes you would even have his coffee ready just as he was walking in. When you did things like that it made his heart flutter. He liked you in a romantic way but you only ever lightly flirted. Not wanting to scare you away, he never pressed and he kept his conversation moderately friendly. He had noticed that sometimes you seemed off. More so than he would say might be caused by a bad day.

On these days your eyes would be flying around the room and your hands shaky. You normally had bags under your eyes and you might even have bruises around your body. He also noticed that on those days you would cover up more but he could catch a glimpse of a purple bruise on your arm under your sleeve when you moved.

As he walked into the shop, he saw that today would be one of those days. He had been going to the coffee shop that you were at for probably 6 months and he had never seen you this shaken up. You seemed to be fully zoned out as you automatically did the cleaning in front of you. He had to clear his throat a bit to get you to notice him and when he did he regretted it. You flinched and your shoulders tensed before looking over to him. You relaxed a bit and a wide smile appeared on your face. He could vaguely tell it seemed to be fake but it was one of the best fake smiles he had ever seen. He almost commented on it before he noticed the bruises on your neck and arm.

"You okay?" He questioned, eyebrow quirked and his tone lightly teasing. He guessed they might be from whoever you were sleeping with having been a bit rough, something that he wouldn't have judged you for anyway. When you tensed up a bit and drew your hand to your neck he saw the look of slight fear cross your eyes.

"Oh I'm fine!" You recovered, "Didn't have time to cover them up this morning." You smiled and put your arm back down. It looked like you were going with his guess that they were from your boyfriend but in a non threatening way. His smile lessened a bit and he got out his wallet.

"Well, you know the drill. Medium americano with cream and sugar please." He sighed and he put some money in your tip jar while winking at you. You blushed and nodded before turning around to get started on his order.

While you were turned around he heard the bell on the door ring signaling that someone had entered. He turned to see who it was only to be met with an unfamiliar face. This was a bit of a rare occurrence considering he came here so often and he knew almost all of the other people who walked in. This man was large and domineering. He didn't look abnormal in any way, just that his eyes didn't hold the kindness that Bucky searched for when meeting someone new. The man pushed past Bucky to stand at the counter and knocked on it loudly, trying to get your attention. When you turned, you looked like you saw a ghost.

James studied you carefully as the color slowly came back to your face and the large smile that didn't quite seem right was plastered on your face again.

"Hey, babe! Can I get you something?" you asked him kindly and James realized that this must be your boyfriend. He noticed the slight waver that was in your voice as you spoke to to man and the way that your hands began to shake a bit.

"No thanks, I just wanted to check on you to see how you were doing and to apologize again. I was just heading in to work." Your boyfriend smiled and you flinched for a moment before taking a deep breath, bracing yourself.

"No worries, I already told you I forgave you." You grinned, this one looking more like it reached your eyes. "Have a good day at work!" You chirped at him. His hand came to your cheek and James saw you flinch before the man leaned in to kiss you. As soon as he pulled away and left, you turned back to the drink you were making for Buck and your hands were unsteady.

"Are you alright, Y/N?" He tentatively asked. He didn't want to push but he had a bad feeling stuck in his stomach.

You turned to him, ready drink in hand, "I'm doing great, thank you for asking, James" You smiled and Bucky nearly swooned when you used his name. He adjusted his glove a bit and fidgeted with the sleeve on his metal arm, a habit he had when he was anxious.

"Do you mind if I drink it up here? I'd love to chat a bit." He did this pretty often. There was a seat next to the counter for employees that he would occupy on days where the shop wasn't too busy. You gazed at him and nodded enthusiastically.

"How are you now that you're all settled into the new place?" You asked gently and he smiled. He appreciated that you remembered details about him. It made him feel less crazy for having known so much about you.

"It's good! The bed still doesn't feel right and there are still boxes lying around but I cant seem to get myself to unpack all the way. If I didn't have this part of my day then I think I'd be bored out of my mind" He said. You blushed a bit and smiled. You always liked hearing about how he was doing, you worried about him. He had told you at some point that he was a veteran and that he had some issues adapting to his new life. You didn't bring it up often so as to not scare him off but you liked to check in when you could.

"You might want to start looking for something else to occupy your time then, I don't know how much longer I'm going to be here." You mumbled. You were still smiling a bit but your gaze had saddened.

"What do you mean? Are you leaving the city? Heading back home?" he questioned quickly. You had told him that you weren't originally from New York. You chuckled a bit at his panic.

"No, but might be moving in with my boyfriend, that guy who came in earlier." You explained but he still had a confused look on his face.

"Why does that mean you wont be working here?"

"Oh I don't know, he is trying to get me to quit while I'm figuring out life and stuff. Thinks I might be more helpful around the house and he has enough to support us both." you tried to explain but you knew the logic in your statement was flawed. The reality was that your boyfriend wanted you to be financially dependent on him but you were ignoring that as the bruises around your throat reminded you what happened to girlfriends who talked back. You looked into Bucky's eyes to find him staring sadly.

"You should be able to keep working if you want to." He sounded urgent and you laughed it off.

"You're just mad cause you won have an excuse to see your favorite barista anymore." As you turned back to the cleaning around the shop to do. It was a quiet morning so the silence was slightly deafening. You both didn't speak for a couple minutes before James broke the silence.

"Are you okay, Y/N?" he asked very lightly. Like he didn't want to scare you off. "I'm guessing your boyfriend left those marks and earlier when he came in-"

"It was an accident" You stated quickly. Urgently. Pleadingly. You still weren't looking at him but you had stopped cleaning. "He didn't mean to, he felt bad about it." You continued before turning to James. There were tears in your eyes and you tried to smile reassuringly.

"Those kinds of accidents shouldn't happen, Y/N" He muttered, trying not to make you feel attacked at all but also wanting to let you know that he knew something was wrong.

"It was my fault." You began.

"There is no way-"

"No it was. I messed something up and-and it was on me. James, you don't need to worry about me." Your voice was shaking a bit. "Please, don't worry about me." you were pleading. Your eyes were begging.

You both stood in silence for a moment before you began moving around. You didn't really have a task to be doing but you couldn't be still. You just couldn't be still.

"I am worried" he whispered and you felt the tears in your eyes threaten to fall. You knew you situation wasn't good but you didn't feel like there was anything you could do. And you were partially still convinced that your boyfriend didn't mean it, even though past experiences had already proved you wrong. You knew that after the 5th time, it wasn't accidental. But fear and guilt held you back. You were not an aggressive person. When he yelled at you he made you feel weak. You crumbled. You would never be able to escape.

You went through the rest of your shift in moderate silence. You worked when customers came in and when they left you would try to make yourself seem busy around the shop. James sat patiently, you knew he was gong to want to walk you back to your boyfriend's apartment. Your stomach clenched as you prayed that your boyfriend wouldn't be home.

After your shift you agreed to let James walk you home, you only lived a few blocks away. You didn't talk much and you felt guilty for creating that atmosphere. When you reached your building you stopped and turned to him.

"Thank you for walking me home." You smiled. "I'll see you tomorrow?" You asked and Bucky nodded.

When you turned to head into you building, he didn't leave. He waited. He knew something was wrong but he didn't want to create a mess for you if he didn't need to. He stood against the building before walking in behind someone who was entering. He made his way to the address he had caught on your key earlier and stopped about 3 floors down from yours. He wouldn't intervene unless you needed him and he could listen in from further away. One of the few times he was thankful for the super serum.

"Where have you been?" a growl sounded.

"I was just-"

"Your shift ended 30 minutes ago. Were you talking to that leather wearing asshole? Huh?" There was a yell. "Were you cheating on me, you bitch?!"

"No, babe, Bucky just walked me home, he was just being nice. The person taking over my shift was just a little-"

"He walked you home?" He screamed, "You're just whoring yourself out to anyone now, huh?"

At this point Bucky had heard enough but he noticed that the stairs were closed and the elevator was taking forever. He was hitting himself for not going up to your floor to be more prepared. His heart was pounding and he could feel his eyes watering.

"Babe, I'm sorry, he didn't mean anything by it, I promise-"

He heard a yelp and something making impact and he decided he was done waiting. He didn't know why the stairs were closed but it didn't matter. He broke the door to the stairwell open and he sprinted up them as fast as possible. It was easier to hear your whimpers as he got closer and he could still hear hitting.

When he made it to the door he didn't hesitate to break it in. When he entered the apartment he felt eyes on him. In the corner of your living room you were hunched in a corner, breathing heavily with tears streaming down your face and a fresh broken lip, your boyfriend leering over you with his fist clenched.

"Get the fuck away from her." Bucky felt himself growl. He didn't want to hurt this guy in front of you, knowing that would traumatize you more, but it was taking everything in him not to snap his neck right then.

"What the fuck are you gonna do?" Your boyfriend sneered, "You have no right to come in here and tell be how I'm supposed to deal with my girlfriend. Get the fuck out!" Your boyfriend had moved away from you and you took a bit of a breath. Bucky noticed the shaking of your body as you breathed and he saw red.

Before he really considered what he was doing Bucky was already moving toward the man in the middle of the room, his metal hand clenched. He moved to grab your boyfriend's arm and when he tried to block, going into the fight cocky, Bucky decided he would put him in his place. With what seemed to be minimal effort, Bucky turned the mans arm around and jammed his knee into his back. Once your boyfriend was on the floor, in less than 10 seconds, Bucky had his knee on his chest and his metal arm on his neck.

"You will never lay another finger on her again, you understand me? You're gonna go to fucking prison and you'll never be able to get near her again." Bucky growled at the man who was struggling futilely beneath him. He pressed on his neck harder and waited for his body to give out, holding long enough that he would be knocked out for at least a few minutes so he could get you out of there.

Bucky looked up at you and you were still shaking in the corner, seemingly still terrified. You looked so different from the girl he had come to know. Bucky realized that he might have just made you more scared of him but he knew it was worth it to get you out of the situation. You gulped and took a deep shaky breath before moving to stand up. Bucky moved to stand also to go over and help you but you immediately say back down.

"Hey, doll. I'm not gonna hurt you-" Bucky started but you cut him off.

"I know, I know I just..." You took another shallow breath and looked at the man Bucky was no longer holding down. He could get free and move toward you now if he were to wake up. Bucky understood your gaze sighed a bit, looking around the apartment he now realized probably belonged to your boyfriend. He then noticed the belt on your boyfriend and moved to take it off so he could tie him up with it. He heard you whimper and he made a guess as to why, his heart clenching once again. He quickly bound the large man's hands and attached him to a support beam in the middle of the room. He checked the bindings using larger movements than he needed to so that you would see they were tight from your spot across the room. Bucky then stood and slowly made his way near you. Instead of trying to get very close, he opted to sit against the wall about halfway between you and the man tied up in the room, trying to make sure that you didn't feel threatened by him and that you knew your boyfriend was no longer a threat.

"I'm gonna call a friend okay? You're okay now." Buck said gently to you and you nodded. Your eyes were watery as tears began to fall and you scooted a little closer to Bucky, still not sitting close enough to touch. Bucky made no move to push you. He instead just dialed the only person he could think of.

"Hey, Sam... You in town?.. I know but I need some help. I need the police here and if you could drive too that would be great. I got someone here I don't want going in a cop car... I know that's a lot to ask but I wouldn't be asking if it weren't serious... Please?.. That would be great if she's there." It seemed that the 'please' made the person on the other line agree. Bucky hung up and looked toward you. "Someone's on the way, okay? Do you need anything right now or need any medical help thats urgent?"He tried to be gentle but he couldn't hide the fear in his voice. If there was severe damage somewhere he needed to know now.

"N-no, it wasn't that bad. It's just my face and my ribs I guess but I've healed from worse." You mumbled, trying to be reassuring but then realizing that you may have made him feel worse. "I'm sorry" You mumbled as the tears began again.

"Whoa, what on earth are you sorry for?" Bucky asked as he felt his own eyes begin to water.

"Its just that-" you took a breath for a moment and tried to calm your shaking, "this isn't your job and I'm sorry that you have to deal with it and that I couldn't do it on my own." You cried a bit, Bucky barely being able to make out your words with how quietly you were speaking. He wasn't entirely sure how to help. He experimentally slid a hand along the floor toward you going very slowly so you could move or tell him to stop if you wanted. Instead you moved your hand and reached out so your fingers were touching on the floor. You still didn't move closer to him but the nonthreatening contact made you feel a bit better. He spoke up quietly.

"Y/N, I know this has been a really hard day for you and probably been rough for however long you've been with that asshole but you need to understand that this is not your fault. You did not make him do this to you and you did not deserve it. You will never be in a room alone with him again, okay?" He made decisive eye contact with you and you nodded a bit. "I am going to make sure that nothing happens to you now, I'm not gonna let anyone hurt you again." He sounded reassuring and you scooted just close enough that his hand was holding yours. He smiled lightly at you and you jumped as you heard a knock at the doorframe of the entrance where the door had been practically broken off its hinges.

You tensed up immediately and Bucky stood a bit protectively in front of you, letting go of your hand in the process. You saw a tall kind looking man at the doorway, his frame slightly hunched to make sure that he didn't startle you too much. You looked at him a bit fearfully and took a deep breath before glancing at Bucky and then smiling lightly at the man in the doorway. He watched you carefully as he stepped into the apartment.

"Hey there, my name is Sam, I'm just gonna get him out of here. There's a police car with his name on it downstairs. I brought someone with me who's going to help get you out of here to somewhere safe, okay?" He smiled at you as he moved toward the man tied up in the center of the room. As the bindings came off you skittered back toward the corner a bit and only eased once he was dragged out of the room. From the doorway came a redhead with bags under her eyes. She looked like she hadn't gotten good sleep in a while and you felt like you recognized her from somewhere.

"I'm Pepper, is it okay if I come in?" She looked nice and she had a motherly presence. You nodded and smiled a bit. Her gaze softened further and she walked slowly toward you and as she walked past Bucky she touched his arm lightly, conveying something that you didn't quite understand. "Can I help you up?" she asked as she stood in front of you, her hand reached out. You nodded and put your hand in hers, allowing her to pull you up. You felt the damage that had been done more clearly when you stood up, there was definitely something wrong with your ribs and your stomach. She carefully and slowly put an arm around your shoulders as she herded you out of the apartment. you looked back to where Bucky was standing and he smiled at you reassuringly but his eyes seemed sad. You let yourself be led to a car outside with a man that Pepper called "Happy" driving. She sat in the back with you and made casual one sided conversation to put you at ease.

Back at your apartment Bucky began to try to pack you a bag. He knew that Pepper would take good care of you and wouldn't let anything happen. He would meet you at the Avengers tower later, assuming you would be staying there until you felt comfortable living by yourself at your own apartment again. He moved through your ex's apartment with a critical gaze, noting holes in the wall and a gun in the corner. He presumed it was to protect against home intruders but he didn't doubt that it had been used to threaten you too. He found the bedroom and got to work getting some things that he thought you might want like a hoodie that looked like yours and some personal belongings that were clearly your possessions. He was trying very hard not to accidentally grab something that was your ex's and once he had a full bag he headed out. He saw Sam leaned against the wall outside your building and Bucky immediately got worried.

"Wheres-"

"He's already booked at the precinct, I've got my guys on it and he isn't going anywhere." Sam reassured, having known what Bucky was going to ask. They began walking to the tower, not wanting to get in a car and knowing that the walk wasn't going to be too long.

"Sorry I had to call you, I know you were probably busy. I just didn't know who else to ask." Bucky stated quietly.

"You did the right thing, Buck. You probably saved that girl's life back there." Sam smiled a bit at the man next to him and Bucky felt a smile tug at his mouth too.

They both made light conversation as they made their way back to the tower. When they did, Bucky took a deep breath. He hadn't been back here since right after Steve left. He hadn't seen Pepper in a long time either. He needed to talk to her when he got inside to thank her and to see if she was okay. He knew she probably didn't want to see him very much but she had still helped you when he asked.

Back at the tower you were finally cleared from the medical wing. You were still shaky but you were masking it pretty well and you were about back to where you functioned daily where you could fake smiles if you needed to. Pepper stayed by you the whole time and you met a little girl named Morgan who was very excited to tell you stories that put you at ease. Eventually Pepper led you to a room that she said you could use to sleep and shower in for now and that you could call the AI if you needed anything at all. You asked it to tell you when Bucky got back and it said it would. You also now knew that you recognized her as Iron Man's wife but you didn't mention it, knowing she had lost her husband semi-recently. You also recognized that Sam, who you had met earlier, was the Falcon. Then came the question of who was Bucky. You knew there was a James Barnes associated with the Avengers but you'd never seen him and you knew he had a metal arm, something that you weren't sure was part of Bucky. You showered and cried again in the shower but this time out of relief. You realized that you didn't have to go home to that awful man and that you were finally safe.

The AI, you thought you'd heard Pepper call it FRIDAY, let you know that Bucky was in the building along with Sam. You dressed in the clothes that pepper had given to you, a pair of sweats and a loose T-shirt, and left your room. You carefully padded down the hallway, prepared to ask FRIDAY where you were if you got lost. Instead you saw Bucky down a hallway carrying a bag that you recognized as your own. Now that you were a bit calmed down you knew what you had to do. You got closer to each other, Bucky smiling slightly, and he stopped so that he wouldn't get close to you if you didn't want him to. Instead you continued walking toward him until you got close enough that you could wrap your arms tightly around his waist. He stood in shock before dropping the bag and wrapping one of his arms around you tightly. You reached out to the other one and felt the hardness of it. You guessed then that he must be the winter soldier that you'd heard about but you continued to wrap it around yourself so that he was hugging you all the way. You took a deep breath and smiled slightly.

"Thank you, James." You murmured and you heard his heart pick up its pace. He tightened his arms around you and sighed.

"You’re welcome, doll" he accepted the thanks with a bit of apprehension but this wasn't the time to argue about whether or not thanks were needed. "I promise I'm not going to let anything happen to you again." He stated quietly and he was reassuring himself more than you. Your arms tightened around him more and he decided that he would protect you with all he had if you would let him.

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