#if there’s anything that will make me melt it’s comparing me to sunshine

[bigdumbbambieyes]

To answer you about why I have a crush on you: It’s because you’re like sunshine on my dash and any time I read any of your posts or messages I get butterflies because you give off that kind of energy. 💓

oh gosh, anon!!

you’re making me blush!! 🥹 thank you sm for making me smile, i def need it today!! 🤍 i hope you have a lovely day today 🫶

[vampcubus]

𝐊𝐍𝐘 𝐏𝐄𝐓 𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄 𝐇𝐂𝐒

:ఌ¨ ♱ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 : kyojuro, tanjiro, and zenitsu.

:ఌ¨ ♱ 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 : reader is implied to be fem, the term "wife" is used!

𝐊𝐘𝐎𝐉𝐔𝐑𝐎 𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐎𝐊𝐔

— As much as pet names make his heart soar, he melts when you call him by his first name. The tender way your lips form around each syllable as if his name was something so dear to you. It makes his stomach flip every time you utter it. Kyojuro. Kyojuro. Kyojuro~ nothing sets his heart ablaze quite like your adoring voice echoing his name back to him.

— He’s Rengoku to most that know him, big brother to Senjuro, but to you he’s just Kyojuro. Your Kyojuro.

— However, there are some pet names that get those butterflies going: my love, honey, baby—something about being called baby makes him soften visibly. He gets that wet smile on his face and big eyes that say, Yes that’s me.

— He really really likes it when you call him “husband” there’s something so domestic and coy about it that makes his heart flutter. 

“Husbanddd, I require your assistance!” You often shout to him from the other room when you need help with something, and whether it’s simply a dish from a high shelf or a piece of furniture that needs to be moved, he pops his head into the room with an enthusiastic “Yes, wife!?”

(He especially likes it if you aren’t married yet, so when you teasingly call him “husband” it sounds like a promise.)

— Kyojuro has a multitude of pet names for you! He thinks your name is beautiful but he only calls you it when he’s feeling serious. Prepare to adopt second names by the day. 

— Names such as: my love, my flame, my heart’s fire, darling flame, my heart.

— And if he’s feeling particularly syrupy? He'll sing out names like sunflower and sunshine. cus you’re the ever-glimmering light of his life 🥺

— Everything that comes out of this man’s mouth sounds like a declaration of love.

— Another one he’s fond of is little flame.

“I’m not so little!“ you’d proclaim, making a face as he pats your head affectionately.

“Compared to me you are!” he’d laugh with his whole chest, teeth showing as he tosses his head back in glee.

— And even if you’re taller than him (which I’m sure he’d find incredibly enchanting, being able to rest his head on your shoulder and standing on his tippy toes to kiss you) you’re still his cute little flame.

𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐉𝐈𝐑𝐎 𝐊𝐀𝐌𝐀𝐃𝐎

— He’s pure as they come when it comes to romance; shy but loyal to a fault! Tanjiro is a little clueless on how to go about the whole relationship business being so sheltered, all of his knowledge of courting rituals and such he observed from his parents (and they weren’t around very long to teach him 💀)

— Tanjiro honestly loves to call you by your name. He thinks it’s pretty and suits you perfectly. It took a great deal of conditioning to convince him it was alright to call you by your first name. To call you by your first name feels like an honor, so naturally, he’d want to utter it as often as you’d allow. 

— You can’t help but love the way he almost whispers it like a precious secret between you. His gentle voice always takes on an adoring quality when he says your name, every syllable honeyed and reverent.

— Tanjiro’s pet names are sickeningly sweet things like: sweetheart, flower, beautiful, and petal.

Nothing better than waking up to his kind gaze already trained on you, a muttered “good morning, beautiful.” against your temple as you’re still stirring from sleep. He gets that lovesick puppy look on his face when you reply with, “good morning to you too, handsome.”

— Tanjiro would let you call him anything you wanted, no matter how silly. You can’t go wrong with a cute shortening of his name like Tanji or a simple “my love” if you’re feeling sappy—and with such a loving partner as Tanjiro, wouldn’t you? He loves you so passionately it’s hard not to let the syrupy pet names fall like rain when he looks at you like that.

— His favorite though? Honey. Something about it just makes his brain turn to mush, he’d do anything for you when you call him that.

“Tanjiro honey, the bathroom door’s stuck shut again!” You’d holler, bouncing a fussing child with one hand and trying to pry the stubborn door open with the other. 

He’s at your side in seconds, wrenching the door open with considerable force. You sigh in relief, smiling when you feel his lips against your cheek, and watch as he shushes your child by simply stroking a thumb over their forehead.

“Thank you, honey,” you sighed, planting your own kiss to your husband’s cheek. He only beams, holding the door open for you and scooping your child into his own arms to let you have some much-needed alone time. 

𝐙𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐒𝐔 𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐀

— I think it’s pretty obvious that Zenitsu is an avid pet name enjoyer, both giving and receiving! 

— He struggles not to shorten your name or replace it entirely with sugary pet names before you’re even official. And once you are irrevocably his? Prepare to forget your real name because you’ll never hear it from him again. Y/n? Who’s that?

— Your new names include: dearest, my love, sweetie, angel, peach blossom, sugar, honey—the list goes on and on! 

— His pet names only get sillier and sappier, but you’ll never have a dull moment with him that’s for sure. Zenitsu also uses the silly ones to make you laugh and can you blame him? It's his favorite sound <3

— Zenitsu doesn’t expect you to pick up his habit and start calling him your own sweet names.

— The first time you called him sweetheart his head whipped around so fast, eyes sparkling as he looked left and right, pointing to himself to ensure you were speaking to him. And when you nod he nearly bursts into joyous tears, fists clinging onto your kimono. It’s the first time he’d been given a sweet name, he can’t help blubbering his approval into your clothes.

— Zenitsu turns to mush before your eyes for any pet names, but his personal favorites to be called are: sweetheart (he melts every time), my love, my heart, and baby—that name in particular makes him get all misty-eyed and following after you like a puppy (another name I HIGHLY recommend calling him)

— Definitely soft for being called “husband.” it reminds him that he’s found someone that isn’t going to give up on him. No matter how many times he cries or falters; you’ll always be right there by his side. And then of course being married is his ultimate fantasy, so he can’t help but puff up with pride when you refer to him as your husband.

— Call him “pretty boy” and he’ll actually die. local man found dead in the marketplace after being called pretty by his own wife.

— it gets to a point where he grimaces when you use his actual name like who tf is Zenitsu? He’s sweetheart? He’s baby? 🤨

[meowzfordayz]

they're-both-so-helpless

Rengoku Kyojuro x Reader

Word Count: ~600

CW: explicit language, mild sexual content

Author’s Note: starting 2024 off w/ Kyojuro❣️ Began writing this while at work… winter makes for slow days when selling ice cream. 😆 Pt 2 coming ~soon aka prob within the next 24 hrs since my shift’s almost over lol.

emphasis-on-helpless, helplessly-in-love

Missing your boyfriend is tough… especially when he isn’t actually your boyfriend.

“He might as well be!” Mitsuri says whenever she’s with you, “I swear you check your phone at least twice as often ever since you became friends.” The tips of your ears warm, eyes glued to the newest Snap of Kyojuro’s cheerful face. “Will you at least show me?” Mitsuri huffs, head tilting to catch a glance, “Aww, he’s so cute!” “But he’s not my boyfriend,” you mutter, quickly snapping a blurry photo of your melting ice cream. Eyes gleaming, Mitsuri hums knowingly, slinging a giddy arm around you without another word. You silently thank her gesture of respecting your privacy—something your other friend, Shinobu, rarely does—hurriedly eating a spoonful of your dessert as he snaps back: You got ice cream without me?! ☹️ I fear I am mortally wounded. 💔 You appease him with a Snap of your own frown, promising him i’ll bring u next time 🥺🍦 pointedly ignoring Mitsuri’s smooching noises when Kyojuro fires back with It’s a date! 😁😋 Sooo maybe nobody respects your privacy.

You’ve never considered yourself shy, but you have resigned yourself to being perpetually friendzoned, a bit too person-next-door in a would-never-date-their-neighbor way rather than a person-next-door who also is-totally-down-to-date-their-handsome-neighbor way. Like puffing out your chest while walking on the sidewalk to convey confidence and get people out of your path, you’ve mastered the art of giving off don’t-fuck-with-me vibes — despite desperately wanting to fuck.

And therein lies the problem-not-actually-a-problem with one Rengoku Kyojuro. Also known as, Mitsuri’s favorite barista. Also known as, immediately flirted with you when Mitsuri finally took you to his cafe for brunch, writing his number on your cup and everything. Also known as, might not have been flirting with you and in fact was just being nice because he has yet to properly-not-jokingly ask you on a real-official-non-platonic date. You’ve survived a blustery autumn of pumpkin spice lattes and too many free muffins, persevered through a surprisingly snug winter of It’s my special recipe hot chocolates and ice skating with the gang (Mitsuri, Shinobu, Kyojuro, and his insufferable friend Tengen), and felt wistfully hopeful as spring came and went, having your voice compared to blossoming flowers and your smile to tender sunshine… only to dream alone, his contagious grin and addictingly cozy hugs lingering even as you woke with the sensation of tears in your eyes.

—

“You should tell him how you feel!” Shinobu sighs, an exasperated, endeared sound as she watches you bemoan your adoration.

“Oh yeah, because he definitely feels the same after a year of literally zero signs!”

“He called your ice cream plans last week a date,” Mitsuri chimes in, rubbing your shoulders as she exchanges a they’re-both-so-helpless look with Shinobu.

“Platonically,” you shoot back, sagging into Mitsuri’s touch, “He’s so gentlemanly and sweet, I never know whether we’re flirting or he’s simply being polite! Friendly! A friend!”

“I repeat,” Shinobu deadpans, “Tell him how you feel.”

You pout, chewing on your upper lip as you mumble, “And if he doesn’t like me?”

“Nonsense!” Mitsuri declares brightly, squeezing you—Owww—a little too hard, “He doesn’t talk to anyone else like he talks to you.”

“I talk to you differently than I talk to Shinobu. Doesn’t mean anything,” you grumble.

“I’m trying to uplift you,” Mitsuri huffs, playfully pulling on your earlobe, “Trust us. Okay? He would absolutely date you if he knew you were interested in dating.”

“Since when have I said I’m not interested?!” you wail in dismay.

“You’ve never said you are interested,” Shinobu quips.

You scowl at her as she tosses a good natured pillow at you, Mitsuri clicking her tongue as you squish the pillow against your sternum, heart aching when your phone lights up Rengoku Kyojuro sent you a Snap • 🔥.

[siremasterlawrence]

The Sensationalization Of Mayor Chris

The Mayoral candidate Christopher Michael Evan Robert’s is enjoying time with his family as the window opens up letting the air flow into the air and tussle his hair as it flew past him. His cellphone ring’s extraordinarily loudly in to the room causing him shake as he never heard a sound like that before and swiftly saves his cellphone from gravity and a collision with the floor. The minutes he picks it up something felt so awful as he places his ears to the cellphone, pressing play as a weird eerie sound emits erupting full force. His eyes are the tell tale sound going white, blank, and void of all things draining him of his soul, his eyes roll back into the socket closing and falling back into a bar stool. A powerful voice strained odd voice is calling into his ears demanding him to obey me and succumb to my will as always he can’t move a single limp on my pleasant.

“Wwwwhhhhhooooo…..is this?”

“Your lord and Master”

“Do I know you ? I don’t work for you “

“Yes you do! Think about it”

“This is ridiculous…why can’t I…”

“Hang up? Lmao”

“Yyyyeeesss”

“Hear my voice “

“Your echo is….”

“Beautiful “

“Do you love me?”

“The feelings are flooding “

“Overwhelming “

“You love me”

“YES!”

“I have a wife and a fam”

“Ssssshhhhh…you single and gay “

“Master Lawrence! Hey babe”

“You might want to turn on the television “

“Why sir?

“Your Mayoral run is over”

“Master Lawrence “

“Zip it “

“Fuck off!

“SILENCE you Neanderthal”

“Sorry but…”

“But what?”

“You despise government “

“I despise government “

“I will serve My Master only “

“With exhausting efforts “

“I will make it a easy win”

“How can you do this?”

“Who am I?l

“My Master “

“That’s all you need to know”

“Master Lawrence! They are in full force.” Chris says to me.

“I am an aware boi!” His Master states from his computer room.

“How would you?” Chris stood perplex.

“I am in your head, in your home and I am everywhere.” The man states.

“Wait! Are you here?” Chris asks in excitement.

“What would you do if I were?” He questions

“I would leap off the floor and bow.” Chris yells.

“Bow to who?” The man asks.

“You of course “ he utters proudly

“Good boi!” I say watching him melt.

“You love the sound of my voice.” The voice calls outward.

“I would follow you anywhere” he continues

“I’ll do anything “ he sweetly adds.

“I need you right now! Please come” he begs .

“I am in your house “ the man replies

“I am waiting with bells on” Chris shouts

“I am coming down the stairs” the man says

“I’ll walk to you “ Chris speaks holding onto his heart.

“Give me a hug” Chris opens his arms wide

“You smell good Slave “ he grabs Chris in the moment.

“I am so thrilled, hard and in disbelief “

“What’s going on in that rock for brains?”

“Everything you say, I am in love “

“With me?”

“My ultimate desire “

“My greatest wish “

“I move to your orders”

The counts go off without a hitch giving way to a smooth landslide into office but Chris could care less as he has something so much better in this world and it is all due to me. I am the radiate sunshine in his life lighting up everything that’s consumes and totally surrounds him in his life nothing else could ever compare but I am his Master Lawrence for life. His eyes start to spin changing from black and white to color like a television set on the bunk and comes to turning his pupils all blue and his hands are now wrapping onto me groping my ass.

His hands are very active intact way too active ripping part of his shirt to get to the meat laying below and his has check me over watching his body as if it is a fine piece of art. He is like fine wine being uncorked from the bottle as the scent floats into the air hitting his nostrils and tickles his nose making him swoon at the fact I am stand in his presence. Our lips touching slowly as we grip each other intensely his body is on fire, burning up from inside causinghim to lose himself and knowing full wellbecause I rule the roost.

“FUCK!”

“I love you “

“I love you too”

“You don’t understand “

“Tell me “

“You can’t fathom how I feel”

“Educated guess?”

“Please try”

“Hold me Master Lawrence “

The end

[anotherblinder]

My Sunshine

Summary || A trip down memory lane

Word Count || 1,004

Pairing || Thomas Shelby x Reader

Warnings || Angst, Reader Death, Mention of blood, Mention of sex and nudity

Note || Hello, it had been awhile! It has been a rough week, and i had found myself singing you are my sunshine. I realized i tend to do it as a comfort thing when things get really rough. Even if it tends to make me kinda cry. It seems that day was today. But don’t worry, it was just built up stress and I’m okay! Only I sing my own little one with a couple words changed, as i like how it sounds to me. This time as i softly sang it to myself this popped into my head and thought I would share it. I hope you all enjoy it! Also please, i don’t own the song. It would just make a good fic. I claim nothing man. Please don't steal my work

You are my sunshine

Bright, beautiful, warm, that’s how Tommy felt as he looked at you. The woman who loved him without hesitation. The mess he is, the ugly parts of him, the one he didn’t really want. It was a wonder to him how you could, but he didn’t think about it much. Not when he held the sun in his heart. Nothing could compare to the warmth you made him feel. The fullness he felt and never wanted to let go. The shine in your eyes every time your radiant smile graced your face.  

My only sunshine  

Nothing made him happier, brightened his world like you could. His family made him feel happy, but not like you. It's like a weight is always lifted off his shoulders when he’s around you. Just being next to you. It had always been that way. For as long as Thomas has known you. Deep down, he wanted to be selfish and keep you all to himself. Trap that shine and have it as only his, and you let him. Where he was somber like the moon, you were mellow like the sun.

You make me happy when skies are grey

It seemed to always go like this. He would come home late, beat the shit out of him. Looking and feeling like death; but you never faltered. Gently wiping away the blood and tending his wound with a touch he felt he didn’t deserve in that moment. The small, soft, loving smile as you did it. Or when his head got the better of him and the demons came blazing in. Tearing everything apart and making it hard to breathe. Thomas would feel your arms around him, humming a soft tune, and everything would melt away. Silence would enter his head and make it feel as though he could breathe again.

You’ll never know dear how much I love you

How could he properly express how much he loves you? Thomas felt as though he never would be able too. Sometimes, he felt as though you knew, that’s what he told himself. But there are moments he hesitates that you do. Thomas knows he would do anything for you, take a bullet for you, a beating, hell even death and the devil himself. He tried to show that as well in the actions he did. Buy you things he thought would make you happy or look even more beautiful in. When he takes you to bed and makes love to you, hoping you can feel the love he pours into it. But he feels it’s never enough, you’ll never know the extent of his love.

Please don’t take my sunshine away

There wasn’t anything that could take you from him. It was a thought Thomas never let cross his mind. Least that’s what he told himself. To move through that fear of losing you. It was suffocating, never can Thomas stay on that image. Even when he banishes, it lingers in the back of his mind.

The other night dear, while I was sleeping

It was a long day and Thomas didn’t hesitate to fall into bed and fall asleep. A rest his body needed after the day he had. Long and tiring. Nearly getting in a fight, shots being fired, new deals needing to be made. Anything to keep him going.

I dreamt I held you in my arms

Sunlight shined though the window and he felt warm. The dip in the bed beside him, making a smile come to his lips. Turning over, he slung an arm over your waist, looking down at you. Sleeping like the world had already woken up. Shifting, he laid back down on the bed and pulled you into his arms. Close to his chest and heart. Feeling the warmth radiating off of you. Making the cold air around him disappear and he kissed the top of your head and fell back asleep.

When I awoke dear, I was mistaken

Slowly Thomas opened his eyes and felt that warmth slowly vanish. Sunlight streamed through the blinds and a heavy feeling came over him. Empty, hollow, cold. Slowly he sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. The cold air pricked his skin, but he paid it no mind. Taking a deep breath, he looked over his shoulder. To the spot you used to sleep, the warmth that would come from that side of the bed in the mornings. Who would put that warmth there.

And I held my head and cried

Turning his head away, Thomas felt the familiar tightening of his throat. The heaviness on his chest, the stinging sensation in his eyes. Taking a shaky breath, he placed his elbows on his knees and held his head in his hands. A broken sob escaped him as he recalled the dream that felt so real. How he secretly hoped it was. The scene played in his head, you lying there in his arms. Blood staining his shirt, his heart, his soul, his sun. If only he had been faster. If only.

You are my sunshine

"Are you sure? There are other woman far better to be on your arm than me Tommy.”

“No, there is only you, please, marry me. Give me the honor of calling you (Y/n) Shelby. My wife.”

“Yes, I love you, Thomas. My husband.”

My only sunshine  

“There is no place I’d rather be than here with you.”

“Oh? Is that because I'm here naked next to you Tommy?”

“That does help.”

You make me happy when skies are grey

“You shouldn’t be getting your hands dirty over me (Y/n).”

“I’ll dirty my hands over you until they fall off Thomas. It’s my job to care for you.”

You’ll never know dear how much I love you

“I love you so much, I don’t say it enough but I do.”

“I love you too Tommy. As the sun falls and the moon rises.”

“Please don’t take my sunshine away.”

[sweet-n-s4lty]

Winter's Warmer With You.

The coming winter season was always well welcomed, at least by you. Nothing compared to the content that came with the chilled gales and the childish giddiness that followed the first snowfall of the season, each ivory petal that danced through the sky acting as your own bundle of joy wrapped in icy comfort.

The ashen blankets that swept over the suburban streets of your town seemingly brought comfort with the inevitable nights by the fireplace, curled in jumpers much too big for you,  the knitted wool swallowing you whole— or the walks home from school, where the snow crunching under your boots was audible despite the soft melodies that lulled you into a comfortable stroll. 

But not everyone enjoyed winter. You knew that because your best friend didn’t.

Ino Takuma was a sucker for the milder seasons. The only cold he was able to handle was the soft whistles of chill delivered every Autumn. And Spring was, if anything, perfect. Despite spending most of it sneezing, the tip of his nose hilariously dusted a familiar shade of pink, he enjoyed the gentle rays of sunshine that melted away the ghastly icicles and brought forth the beautiful site of fresh blooms. 

He hated Summer too, make no mistake, but he could handle the sweltering hell. And at least summer was fun. 

But Winter? It was dull, gloomy, his days were filled with less time to get everything done as if the cold nights he hated so much grew greedier, swallowing the already short hours whole. 

Ino Takuma was, if anything, an avid winter hater.

“How cold is it, damn!” He chattered. He was wrapped in a huge jacket, engulfed by the black material. His mask that usually lay graciously on his head was replaced by a thick woolly hat, a courtesy of you. Thick gloves engulfed his fingers, ones that previously were around your own hands. For someone who hated Winter so much, you’d assume that he’d perhaps ready himself for the harsh climate well before the first snowfall had even started, but you’d learnt quickly that Ino hated planning maybe more than he did winter. 

“Forecast said 2 degrees. C’mon, it isn’t that bad, usually, it's worse, much much worse.” You hummed, smiling behind the scarf wrapped around your neck, the fabric coming up to cover your lips slightly.

“I hate December.” He grumbled.

“If you think about it, this is like our own version of the olive theory.” You hummed in thought, lending him an earphone. He took it gingerly and scooted closer to you, seeking a warmth you weren’t sure you could provide. 

“...We must have a lot of olive theories then, we disagree on a lot.”

“That coz you hate everything.” You laughed, resting your head on top of his as you felt a welcomed weight on your shoulder. He scoffed at that. 

He stayed with you after that. Refusing to leave the comfort of your home, situating himself snugly by the fireplace. You smiled as you walked over with a cup of hot chocolate which he graciously accepted with a wobbly “What would I do without you?” and a lopsided grin. You smiled and took a seat on the armchair, curling into a small bundle of warmth yourself.

“Thank you again for letting me stay, {Name}. I think I would’ve been pronounced dead if i stayed at my place— this is good cocoa too.” He added the last part with a boyish grin.

“What, heating doesn’t work?” 

“Nope. Shitty Landlord won’t do anything about it either— stingy pig.” He scoffed. Ino was always welcome at your home. Frankly, he was such a frequent visitor that your parents dubbed him their son, your mother fed him whenever he stopped by, and your father constantly gave advice to him, whether it was requested or not. It was sweet how his presence had wormed its way into your life, how every family photo had a little feature of him in it, whether it be him smiling alongside you, arm around your shoulder, or his skateboard in the background, aimlessly blending into the scene, or even you smiling wide, wearing a shirt he’d left during his last stay, so him here to seek refuge from the cruel sweeping gales wasn’t out of the ordinary, in fact, it was welcomed.

“You could stay with us—”

“Outta the question, ya Ma and Pa are already so welcoming, I don’t wanna intrude.” You shook your head,.

“No, stupid, they love it when you’re over, I think they like you more than me—” You chided, laughing slightly.

“ I still feel bad…” He sighed, taking a sip from his mug. You rolled your eyes, a little annoyed about how much he viewed himself as a burden than anything else. 

So now you were at his house, it was late at night and tonight, Ino declined invitation to your cosy abode— His work piling up so much, he was sure it’d take him a decade to finish it. So an unexpected visit was maybe a little more welcome than he let on. 

“Thought we could stay warm together.” 

“Wha— huh?” He chuckled through chattering teeth. You set down the many many bags you had held in your hands on the living room floor, setting down blanket after blanket, plushie after plushie, and brought a small mini heater, struggling to pull it out of your backpack. How you even fit it in there, he didn’t know, but he wanted to hug you close, so thigh you’d pop, just for even considering his hatred of the cold. “All o’ this for me?”

“Yep–” You smiled. “Thought warmth and company would be appreciated on this cold winter evening.”  He sat carefully next to you, his laptop tucked under his arm. His body was thick with the multitude of layers, it was like he’d morphed into a human pillow. You wrapped him in a particularly fuzzy blanket before covering yourself in one and resting your head, watching him work. In the next few minutes, the apartment was shrouded in snugness it lacked before.

taglist: @stillnotherapy

Lwk, not tewww proud of this one, but we move

[eliplague]

Penny for my thoughts | The Sunshine Court (Part 1 maybe)

Just finished The Sunshine Court so I need to get some of my thoughts out of my head because there’s just too many. (Spoiler warning read at your own discretion)

1. Expect the Jean and Niel parallels post ‘cause it’s COMING

2. Never in a million years would I have ever known how much I needed to see Jean getting adopted by lesbians, thank you Nora for opening my eyes.

3. Renee and Jean friendship had me MELTING INTO A PUDDLE, I need everyone to know how dear that friendship is to me and how close I hold it to my heart.

4. Jean giving up information through freudian slip every damn time had me wanting to slap him upside the head, but I knew he wouldn’t have said anything other wise. Necessary evils and whatnot (If you get it you get it).

5. I still cannot decide if Jean holding into his ruined belongings is more of a self sabotage situation to remind himself he should be submitting or a “I know we ruined each other closely beyond repair, but you are still the only familiar thing to me”. Could be a little bit of both but I’m leaning more towards the first one.

6. LOVED all the representation in the book and how fast Jean was to accept it, my boy really dgaf.

7. My prediction that TSC was going to have to be cut into two books was correct and I’m glad Nora decided to do it that way. Like I said in THIS post, Jean has to deal with his trauma on the first book to make way for Jerejean to blossom, in my opinion, it was the best course of action.

8. Cat and Laila my beloved. Cat is my favorite character and I loved her the moment she was introduced, Laila being the handler to Cat’s chaos made me super warm inside.

9. Barkbark Von Barkestein is an incredible name and when I adopt a dog I will be naming it this.

10. I KNEW Grayson was going to make an appearance the moment his name kept coming up, even though it was coming I still had to stop breathing some fresh air when he inevitably did, because the seething rage I felt can only be compared to the Drake scene (as Jean so graciously did)

11. I’m so damn curious about Jeremy’s past I feel like I’m about to implode (hehe) from curiosity. Nora had me running mental laps trying to theorize why his family hates him so much. At first I thought it could be because he’s gay but then he mentioned Exy… 👀 the plot thickens

There’s so much more I want to talk about but I don’t trust myself to write an eloquent enough paragraph right now. I’m drunk on excitement and exhaustion from reading the whole book in one sitting. Did I procrastinate on some assignments because of it? Perhaps but that’s for future Eli to figure out.

[sandrockianblues]

Hey how would the LIs react to being asked “would you still love me if I was a worm?” 🌚

I only did romanced male LIs for the sake of pushing this out lmao and because I’ve studied them the best but-

ASKING ROMANCED MALE LOVE INTERESTS: “Would you love me if I was a worm?”

🛍️Arvio🛍️: head empty, no thoughts. Says yes immediately. Of course he would. His love for the builder transcends even species (someone come get this boy pls 💀-) need you even ask?

“I’d still love you that even butterflies would pale in comparison to your beauty as a worm.”

_______________________________________________

🌻Burgess🌻: bewildered but excited to answer. Pure sunshine boy. Happy they’d even asked or consider the notion. Obviously he’d still love them as a worm!

“Let’s be worms together,” he smiles, “and we can build a life together amongst the flowers.”

_______________________________________________

✏️Ernest✏️: ok, he’s got this. This is nothing compared to the weird prompts he’s written to humor his audience (composed of children). If he fucks this up, he’s truly failed as a writer. Regardless of if they’re being serious or not. (Aka he literally considers this for the wrong reason but hey, at least he answered).

“You could be a worm, a drifting leaf, or even the night’s breeze- and I’d still love you.”

_______________________________________________

🌿Fang🌿: literally glances at X then back at them, wondering if they realize the immediate danger they’d be in if they were a worm. Deadass points to the bird too with a raised brow. Wants to say yes but-

“…I’d probably have given you to him for food without realizing it.” 💀

_______________________________________________

🌟Justice🌟: double checks to see if they’re buzzed or something but laughs lightly, slinging an arm around them and tugging them close, huffing into their hair as they walk.

“Sure, sweetheart. You’d be the prettiest worm ever.”

_______________________________________________

🤍Logan🤍: the quickest decliner. He’s not even really sorry. He’s a gentleman at heart but, that’s a dumb fucking question. But still, he’s not one to leave his builder sad.

He frowns, turning to face them. “Darlin’…that’s ‘bout the silliest question I’ve ever heard. ‘Course I wouldn’t. I’d use ya as bait without a thought.” Opening his arms, a teasing smile playing on the edge of his lips. “C’mere, let me hold my favorite human instead.”_______________________________________________

☀️Miguel☀️: lowkey thinks it’s a dumb question but whatever. He’ll wax his builder a bit of poetry to them if it makes his love happy.

“Wanderer of the rich soil, and a soul that sees the world for the vastness it is. You see so much for so little a creature. The wonderment in your eyes is cause enough for me to have been bewitched by you.” (Someone pls give me credit for bullshitting this pls)

_______________________________________________

💚Owen💚: thoroughly amused. A thick brow raised, cocked hip and growing crooked grin. His eyes sparkle with amusement and he’s one to play along just to melt his little builder’s heart some more, make them fall even harder for him. He is a storyteller after all.

“Doll, there isn’t anything in this world that can stop my lovesick heart from loving you. Not even if you were a worm.” What a charmer-

_______________________________________________ ✂️Pablo✂️: dumbfounded and in disbelief. Freezes in whatever he’s doing to stare at the builder, questioning if they’re serious. Another one of the honest ones.

“…sweetheart, I wouldn’t approach you or your kind with a ten foot pole.” A wink to save himself though. “So why don’t you stay human for me, huh? I’ll love you all you want if you do.”

_______________________________________________

🏅Pen🏅: lmao, sorry. He’s new to romance and is still surprised he’s landed the builder half the time when his bravado leaves him. But this?

A loud and boisterous nervous chuckle, “I’d probably crush you if you were a worm. Best if we don’t go there.”

_______________________________________________

🚀Qi🚀: hears “worm” and sidetracks before realizing what they said. Cue another confused boy who is going to give them a bit of scathing judgment and a severe questioning look.

“Worms. Members of the clitellata class. Members of the genus Lumbricus. Known for- wait, did you just ask if I’d love you as a worm?…you know I’ve dissected worms before, right? Do you still want me to answer?”

_______________________________________________

🪨Unsuur🪨: best boi confused too. Gives them an odd look, severely confused and wondering if this is just a normal thing with people that he’s been ignorant of. Gives a resounding “no” in response. The builder should follow up by asking if they were a rock, would he still love them.

Looks away, checking the dirt and sand on his boots. “You’d probably be a rare jewel if you were a rock, gem. I’d take such good care and protection of you if you were.” Talk sedimentary to him pls -

_______________________________________________

[hendrixthepolitesnake]

Headcanons

(well uh- this from my Wattpad account is a yandere demon slayer x poc male reader this is also my first time so please forgive me if I make mistakes and I know it's not really yandere but I'll try my best)

Warning: I do not own demon slayer nor the characters there will be some suggestive stuff but nothing too sexual.

With a tall and dilf like s/o👁️👁️

Giyuu: When I say this man would be in his knees for you I'm dead ass he is a simp but since he got that emo ass expression but under all that is a desperate horny man 😩 like you could do anything and he just melts like you could be just be softly rubbing his thighs with your big and veiny hands and he's just on cloud nine and you tall AF too he's happy

Shinobu:We already know how short our butterfly queen is so imagine her with you since you tall af so of course shes going to feel small compared to you especially when you hold her like a soft plushie she just melts when you give her head pats or hug her when she needs comfort she likes that your her gentle giant and she loves when your big hands caress her hands 💕

Misturi: This precious girl she's all bubbly and talking about how tall and handsome you are she just is always energetic and just her lovely self and if she tells you about her past and you accept her that's bonus points especially if you don't mind her big appetite she loves it when you braid her hair for her she likes to feel your big hands in her hair or when pick her up she squeals in delight

Obanai:This mf is kinda a bit envious like y'all know damn well he got an attitude every second you could just be doing anything and this mf is just straight a bitch but in reality is just as much as a simp he was for misturi especially since like you tall and you got them big titties for a man them dilf titties bro he's literally on some freaky shit like you could just be chilling reading a book doing something and this mf is squeezing your man titties while you read and it's just like damn no shame

Rengoku:This ray of sunshine this man it's just 😩 why he sees you he gets all flustered because of how big and tall you are (😏👁️👁️) and let me tell you when he's training and he gets something wrong and he have to help him it's game over bro his knees is literally shaking because how attractive you are and you can cook too my god he is on cloud 9 like that smile gets wider and he's just a little ray of sunshine he's definitely a cuddle bug especially if he's had a bad day he we come lay on your leg as you rub his back it's just so cute

(This is part 1 I'll probably do a part two because I can't fit all of it in here)

[goldenhickeysandramen]

📢🔊🎤🎶 LOVE IS IN THE AIR... 🎙🎷🎺🎸🎹and 5 takeaways from the past months

THIS IS A LONG POST.... 

Oh my Gosh! What an afternoon of excitement!

Apparently Jimin changed for nanoseconds(?) his profile picture and posted one of JK 

Too bad the account didn't record a video..... If there is only one person as a testimonial, let me be a bit skeptical. 🤨

But who knows... maybe Jimin was playing with Jk, as this latter did on April 28th.

https://twitter.com/jkfl6wer/status/1640512226829189122?s=20

Also emerging on twitter are the constant cacophonies heard in Jimin's last vlive....LOL

https://twitter.com/jeje_machi/status/1645017065609388032?s=20

I take these things with a grain of salt, because they always happen... there’s always someone in tiktok who hear voices in Jimin's and JK's vlives 🤣 

BUT

I do think they were together the night of Like Crazy's BB100, because all the k-army accounts (I follow) perfectly hear, at the beginning of the vlive, a "go quickly" with a busanese accent. That can't be a coincidence, nor a general delulu mode! 

In any case, I'm here to celebrate Jikook's love fest of this past month.

📢🔉🔊🎤🎶🎵 LOVE IS IN THE AIR... 🎙🎷🎺🎸🎻🎹

I have to admit that there was a time when I didn't understand why the hell we didn't know anything about Jikook.😫

Those who wait are in despair. And if I'm the one who waits (while quitting smoking), it's even worse, because I'm (above all) IMPATIENT! hahaha. I missed jikook a lot and I was in a total skeptical phase.

Don't scold me, I am not insecure, I like to be objective and critical. And there were things from these months that just made me wonder if everything was okay... I'm not going to go into them, because there’s no need. But I am going to share with you some of my lessons or takeaways from these months of CHAPTER 2 and that now, with more perspective, I can share, in case it helps anyone for next months.

1. The members who interact the most are the ones who are promoting at the time. 

I don't expect to see others in official content, unless they have something to promote. I guess it's marketing strategy. Just compare how Suga has reacted to other albums on socmed, with how he has been more involved in Jimin's, because he came next. 

The only exception is Hobi who is constant. Our dear sunshine..💜

But as I could see, if we want to see the rest, it's up to them.

2. This brings me to the next point: JIKOOK has chosen to show us that they are still there as usual, but without the exposure. 

Let's cry in chorus! 😭😭❤❤

JK wanted to support Jimin and for us to see him. And he wanted it to be something special, dammit! And so it has been!

I melt with him and everything he has done so far: from saying how great the Set me free Pt2 MV was going to be, to playing the chords of Letter, and the vlive reaction to Suchita and Jimin's best moments unbothered.

Plus the next morning reacting to Jimin’s live LOL

And Jimin has always been active in JK's vlives, whenever he could, with some very memorable lines 

3. What we don't see is almost EVERYTHING. And what we can see depends on many external factors. 

Thanks to the editors we could see JK visiting Jimin. It looks like they were together for only 5 seconds, but we know that was not the case.

if they even said goodbye in two different positions LOL

On the other hand, Letter was not recorded remotely, nor did JK teach himself to play it on guitar on youtube, like he learned to make sushi on ITS. 

This would be a point for non-jikookers who believe that jikook has not seen e/o for months.... but, I write it as a reminder for everyone, but especially for ME. 

What we see in recorded content is Hybe's choice. The rest is either shown to us by them or we have to assume it by applying common sense.

On the other hand, does anyone expect jikook to plug in a vlive when they're at home together watching The Notebook for the umpteenth time? I don't... Which brings me to the next point...

4. Army is always a support to Jungkook

I really believe that when he has been feeling very bored, alone or melancholic, we have been a help to him. Maybe he needed a rest, but at some point the inactivity has taken its toll on him, given that he didn't have his precious people around him.

In particular, I am happy to see him in his new role as CK ambassador and to see him travelling and active, at least until he enters the more intense work phase of his future projects.

So when I've seen Tae at his home, or with him at concerts, far from worrying about the cults's reaction (Who cares!!), I've been glad he was getting him out of the Mikrokosmos cave, because JK is an introvert and his comfort zone isn't exactly socialising.

[How I feel about Tae and his vlives and name dropping at certain times is another matter. But I have no doubt that Tae loves him and has made it a point to take him out bowling or to concerts]

5. Perhaps most controversial, but most obvious.....JIKOOK don't officially live together and that's what we're going to see from here until they leave for military service. So it's best not to give too much thought to the issue of houses.

But there is a very big obviousness to this issue. JK lives in a house rented by Hybe, with furniture from the dorms and barely decorated (althoug full of underwear 😁), as if he can't rent a house while his mansion in Itaewoon is being built...LOL! It's a joke! (and by this I mean that perhaps he spends part of his time elsewhere 😏).

If jikook is an established couple, as many of us think, we will always have to bear in mind is that they cant fulfil everything we would see in a long-term couple, like living together in one house 24/7/365, for obvious reasons, but basically because they are hidden couple and they’re also chased (especially Jungkook, who has a lot of sasaengs behind him).

And this is basically my main takeaways.... I'm sure I have more lessons learnt.... but I don't remember them now.... or I'm tired of writing.... maybe it's the latter ;)

I purple you 💜

[negatywka]

What you tell me to do

Harry/MC

She was there and he couldn't help, but care. He just wasn't sure how.

______________

MC

You should eat something, maybe some pasta?

MC

We could have pasta together <3

Harry

Then I'm gonna have a salad. See you later

MC

Haaaarry :(

Harry smiled at his phone before disconnecting. He loved teasing her like that, small insignificant things that make her all pumped up. It wasn't important what he will eat as long as he had enough nutrients out of that meal. Besides he always made decisions for himself, as those ones were always the best decisions, he couldn't blame anyone else for them and that was perfect.

Until she came.

MC loved suggesting things to him, to eat, to try, to do, new ways to do them. At the beginning he saw that as barging into his life a touch too much, but over the time it became endearing. He asked her more and more about her opinions, and now he even had a fish with a name she chose. Everywhere he looked, signs of her in his life were undeniable. She didn't even have to be here to have her name plaster on things in his apartment and in his mind. It was getting easier and easier to let her decide on things. But he was having that pasta on his own accord, not because they were eating the same stuff at the same time. It didn't matter what he ate as he previously rationalized it himself. It was, purely, because today's salad didn't have carrots in it.

He took a photo of his meal, not to send it to her, but just to digitize it for future reference. What he was planning to reference it to he didn't know yet, but that situation will come. For now he clicked send in messenger and waited a few seconds for the reaction.

MC

You ate pasta with me!

MC

You're amazing

MC

My heart is melting and my belly is full of pasta ;)

He felt warm spreading through his body, starting around his cheeks and neck. It was a nice feeling, one he didn't experience a lot before she came into his life with her comments and jokes and weird, unreasonable ideas. Well, before she came he didn't experience a lot of things in his boring, plain life. Then he didn't really mind. It was a comfortable life in silence, he was sometimes bothered by Tain and Malong but compared to her? They were barely there with barely any noise. To be honest, barely anyone knew anything about him. The fewer the merrier. To her he was like an open book. How many secrets about his life did she already know? Probably more than he wanted to share, but it didn't feel bad. He wondered if it all started when he saw her smile for the first time.

It went like this. First time he saw it was like direct sunshine hit him right in the eyes. It was an overwhelming feeling and he wanted to look elsewhere and, at the same time, never look at anything else in his life.

They met in her favorite cafe. He could see her through the window just sitting there, a porcelain cup in one hand, the other changing pages in a book lying before her, back and forth, back and forth, like she couldn't focus and needed to trace back her thoughts. He almost laughed to himself at that, but he understood in some way. He wasn't nervous per se, but there was this feeling of restlessness in him. He never imagined her, at least tried not to, as it was truly unproductive to make a mental image of someone without clear facts. But now she was there, real and so close, in flesh, just a few more steps away. Although he didn't even consider not showing, because who knows if they would have another chance, he considered if he should've done more before coming here. Maybe choose different clothes, more or less official? Bring something with him? He knew of so many things she liked but came up empty handed, was that fair? It wasn't a date, just… first meeting. Somehow it felt more important. He was getting dizzy from all this thinking so he just went inside and a mere second later the whole cafe almost disappeared blinded by her light.

"Harry! You came!" she was so happy, and sounded like she just won a lottery that made her entire life worth waiting for. As she hugged him tight, her head in perfect place to rest his chin on, he hugged her back. Little awkwardly, but he felt like he was knocked out, head empty of thoughts. Couldn't really say no to her at that moment.

Somehow no one was staring at them, maybe blinded as well, but it felt good to just have her for his own eyes. It was so new, he could look at her, adding missing detail to his vision of her. They drank tea she chose, she brought her home made carrot cake and nothing tasted better than this, somehow. They talked, talked, talked for hours on end, she joked and got so shy when he complimented her on her choice of tea. Sun shined, but not as bright as he remembered it should, then came the evening and he still wasn't bored, tired or irritated.

"Hey, look at this sunset, it's amazing… I could stay like this forever." he wanted to agree, say something, but couldn't. That sunset was trivial as, right now, nothing was close to that smile she gave him before. Could've he even tried to imagine that before meeting her? Now he memorized the whole collection of her little smiles, sweet and shy, half and small, but this first one felt like nothing else he felt. He needed and feared getting more of it.

And that's how their first meeting went. Just unexpected thoughts one after another. His head cooled a bit when he came back home that day, not that fixated on everything about her, not trying to analyze what he felt when she smiled, talked, hugged him. He just went to bed, head buzzing with undecipherable noise, sending a photo and a simple good night as always.

He dreamed about her smile that night.

Since then he was open to her suggestions, even the dumbest one. He liked to think about her triumphant "yay!" and her biting her lower lip when she tried to convince him with more and more absurd arguments. It worked, usually.

MC

Can I call you?

MC

Im feeling gloomy

MC

You don't have to and all that jazz

They were just talking about Tain's bar and the piano when she suddenly wrote that. He frowned, it wasn't like her, but she was prone to mood changes out of nowhere. It usually changed from happy to excited and back, and even when she said she was sad it lasted minutes, till he sent her a new photo or called her just to hear her laugh in a few minutes. But he had a feeling it's something more. She usually poke him till he did what she asked for, didn't automatically take a step back. That felt… different.

Harry

I'll call you, pick up

Few long signals later he heard a small hello on the other side of the line. She sounded small and tired, and his frown deepened.

"What's going on, MC?" he was surprised to hear his own voice. It was soft, cautious, like he was afraid he would scare her off. He wasn't good at emotions but she needed him, apparently, and that seemed to be enough.

"Tough day at work. I think it finally got to me." she sighed and he already had a whole speech made in his head, about ignoring it, it won't last, other people should have no influence on a person, she should get a grip and do something she likes to forget about the day, but he couldn't say it. It wasn't what she needed, his coldblooded view on the world. She needed warmth. He frantically searched his mind for something, anything he could give her. Then he heard soft sob, barely there. Fuck, no. No, no, no.

"Do you want to talk about it? I may not help, but I can listen." he said finally and she laughed a sad, tired laugh.

"It's okay, Harry. I just needed to hear you. I don't want to bore you with my stupid job, I just… you voice grounds me. Right now you're the closest person to me and I just didn't know who else to call."

He felt like his insides were twisting into knots. He couldn't bear hearing the person he himself was closest to so overwhelmed with sadness. He needed her laughter, her brightness to even feel like himself. Problem was he didn't know what to do, didn't even know where to start, could ask Piu Piu. He decided to take small steps, one idea after another.

"Do you want to go out? We can go to…" he did a quick research in his head, where could they go? Only place he could think of right now was…"to Tain's bar? It's empty. It's quiet."

There was silence on the other side and he was getting angry at himself. That was his idea of comfort? He could almost see her frown, disappointed, tears in her eyes, thinking she should have called anyone else but him, someone who could give her solace. He started to count seconds of that silence.

"Let's go." it was sudden, the moment she spoke. Her voice was a little stronger, like she was thinking about it for a long time and made a very firm decision that this is what they are going to do now. It was barely twenty seconds but felt like forever.

"I will pick you up in fifteen minutes."

He was in his car in less than two, at her house in less than ten. He was planning on waiting outside till that quarter pass, but she was already outside sitting on the steps to her apartment building. She smiled softly when she saw him and he felt that warmth in his chest again. When she sat next to him he just wanted to bring her close, protect her somehow, but he restrained himself. He wasn't sure what was appropriate so he just started driving, in comfortable silence. He was speeding a little, like getting there will resolve whatever problems were piling in her head, but in some way she already was smiling. It was a sad smile, one he didn't see before, but it was a smile nevertheless.

Balantain was, indeed, empty and quiet. Chairs on the tables, smell of dust and alcohol still in the air. They didn't stop in the main room, they went further, beyond the bar. She was curious, eyes wandering, gathering random information about a new place. They reached the back room, it was way dustier, everything was slightly gray except for the piano. She inhaled, somehow shocked by what she was seeing.

"It's that the piano… ! It's beautiful."

He opened the fall board, mostly out of habit, and sat on the bench. She found herself a place on one of the chairs not far from it, dust it off a little, sneezed, and looked at him with anticipation. Dust particles were shining in the dim light.

"Can I play something for you? Will it help?"

There it was, an excited smile he knew. He was proud of himself, sadness almost vanished from her eyes. It was still there, hiding in the background, but he was ready to do whatever it takes to wipe it away. Why he cared so much? He wasn't sure, but he was ready to play his fingers to bloody mess just to see her happy.

"Please do."

And he played. He didn't have any notes so he improvised, sweet and cheerful, light and heavy pieces, with as much variation as he could think of. He didn't even notice when the melody became more familiar to him. One he was still working on, one for her. He knew it by heart at this point, note after note, he wrote it and rewrote it so many times and didn't even finish, but now, with her next to him, it sounded correct. Nevertheless he got to a certain point and the song stopped. He didn't come up with a final part and he couldn’ t improvise it either. There was silence and he didn't dare to move. Floor panels creaked and he was sure she decided to leave, but he didn't have time to dwell in that fear as she sat next to him. Before he said anything, ask her any question, her arms were around him, her eyes closed as she hugged him. He couldn't stop himself, he could only bring her closer, the warmth of her body transferring like a wave to him.

"Thank you. That was amazing. Thank you for sharing it with me."

He sat there, hugging her for a long while. He didn't want to let her go, didn't want to let the world make her unhappy again. She moved finally, of course, making him notice that he was resting his chin on her head, both hands wrapped around her, her head resting on his chest. Did she hear his heart beating faster? Was she as curious as he was why it was happening? If so she didn't show it. She just smiled at him, something else, something he didn't see yet sparkling in her eyes. It was warm and inviting, like a fireplace during snow storm. Her eyes were still reddened from previous crying and it still bothered him that it happened but he couldn't look away. He, oh so slowly, reached towards her, fixing that one strain of hair that was trying to rebel against her messy updo. She froze for a second, her eyes following his movement. He should have took his hand, turn his gaze back to piano. Maybe play something, tell her he's gonna teach her maybe. But instead his hand rested on her her cheek, cupping her face as she half closed her eyes, welcoming the warmth.

"Tell me what you want me to do." he was shocked hearing his own voice. It was quiet, but, in the empty space, it rang loudly between them. It was also low, much lower, there was so much anticipation in it. Something in him was waiting for something, a sign, a word. Her, to tell him what she thought right now. She mirrored his move, her fingers hot on his skin, like it was burning him, he almost felt like they were going to leave a mark of her hand on him. He didn't mind, he thought. Why didn't he mind?

"Can you…" she hesitated, bit her lower lip for a split second, thinking if she should say what she wanted to say. He broke eye contact at that moment, eyes wandering to her lips. They looked soft. Inviting. Slightly parted, stopped in the middle of the sentence.

"Anything." he said and he meant it. His whole body, mind and soul meant it at that moment.

"Kiss me, then." she answered him, and he was waiting for those words. Her lips welcomed him, eager and shy at the same time, it was like every first time, a little sloppy at first, before they both found their way around. They found their rhythm, their tongues meeting halfway, slowly learning each other. He lightly bit her lower lip before they parted, both panting lightly, their eyes fixated on one another. Suddenly she laughed softly, eyes looking somewhere to the side.

"I hope it was okay for you, I'm a bit rusty."

Okay? He chuckled. He didn't have words yet to express how "okay" it felt. Didn't even know if he will ever have words to make her fully understand. So he just took her hand and kissed her knuckles, hoping it would explain enough.

"It was a little more than okay." he added, just to be sure. Apparently it did what it was supposed to, cause, finally, her smile reached her eyes, making her whole face light up. It made her smile like he dreamed about, bright and true, and the whole world around disappeared in that moment.

He once again closed the distance between them, kissing that smile, those lips, feeling weirdly relieved that he was allowed to. She giggled when he kissed the corner of her mouth, she sighed when the kiss deepened into something less innocent, when his hand found a way to her neck, other to her waist. He needed her close, closer if possible. She rested her hands one on his shoulder, second on his fast beating heart. He felt embarrassed for a second, he could control everything but that hammering in his chest. But she didn't seem to mind, it made her smile softer, sweeter, right on his lips and he drank it like an alcoholic, every drop. It lasted for a moment before, again, breathing caught up to them, but neither of them moved, forehead to forehead, breathing the same air.

"Thank you." she said again today. "You're making me whole, you know? On days like this. You're making me truly happy."

He didn't have any snarky comment to that, didn't have a comment at all. It made him lose his mind a little, all the coherent thoughts in his head converted to warm white noise. It was a first in his life, not wanting to add anything. She was making him happy too, that's the only thing he could bring up from that mess of a brain of his. He saw his own reflection in her eyes, features relaxed, he was smiling gently, adoration painted in his gaze.

"Also you look at me like I've just stole your heart." she laughed and he thought about it. It would be so bad, to just give it to her. Metaphorically. He wasn't good at taking care of it, but she made it almost flutter in his chest when she looked at him, so why not. Why not make it hers. Maybe… Maybe it was hers for a while now, and he just didn't notice?

"Sure. It's yours to keep." she stopped smiling and he almost backtracked. He frowned, instantly worried. Was he supposed to say something else? He was so caught up in that moment that this fuzz in his mind had apparent problems with clear thinking. He wanted to say something, but nothing came to him. She looked down, blush spreading on her cheeks, and took one of his hands to put it on her chest. Her heart was pounding, like it was ready to burst out.

"Mine… mine was yours for a while now. If you want it." finally she said and something clicked, the implication of having her heart catch up to him. Somehow it didn't connect properly but now it made sense. Her heart… her love. She wasn't wrong, she offered it to him a long time ago and he said no. He didn't want change, he didn't care like he should, why would he, but now he couldn't and didn't want to imagine her heart belonging to anyone else… but him.

"I do. Want it, that is." he stuttered, not knowing how to properly emphasize how much he wanted it. How much he needed that heart to beat for him, it's rhythm faster because of him. Since when he was so bad with words? He wrote a movie for fuck sake, and now he couldn't tell her what he needs from her. He took a deep breath, not sure what he's going to say next, but she was faster than him.

"That's all I wanted to hear. Good luck getting rid of me now, Harry." she said jokingly, but for him, that was exactly what he needed from her. To be sure she won't be gone the next morning, nor the morning after that. That he will always wake up to her and go to sleep to her voice. That he could show her Poseidon eating her meal, be grumpy about whatever Rachel is doing, show her how the city looks from his penthouse. All of that and much more. All that could be shown. He looked into her eyes, sparkling, bright, alive with something new in them. And he repeated himself, once more.

"Tell me what you want me to do."

"Anything I want?"

"Anything. Anything you want."

"Love me." he smiled, took her face in his hands, his finger tracing her lower lip, reddened from previous kisses. How could he say no to that? Those lips, those eyes, that smile, that heart?

"I already do."

[its-my-whump]

30. “You were in my way”

Stabbed in the back | Whimpering | Chained to a wall 

TW: betrayal, gore, stabbing

The pain was unimaginal. And it felt exactly like it was. It felt like someone had stabbed a knife into his back.

He knew John's pocket knife. It wasn't that long. He surely must had used just that one, he always carried it around. But the gapping hole over his hip, where he estimated the kidney could be located, felt much, much bigger.

Tim was paralysed, not knowing if it was "just" from the bloody wound in his back or more from the evil betrayal of his friend.

John was at least a head higher than Tim. A big hand was holding him, like a brotherly hug from a friend, his head on Tim's. But it was anything like a friendly embrace. The big palm on Tim's chest pressed him against the broad torso of John, who was breathing in his neck.

He couldn't move a muscle, when the knife was driven into his flesh again. The second time, that blade impaled him, John's didn't hesitate and he properly aimed. Much higher this time, right between Tim's ribs from the side.

Tim hadn't even noticed, that John had let him go and his legs giving in. He ended up kneeling on shaky legs. The pain from his knees, when they connected with the hard floor didn't even reache his mind.

Someone must have sneaked an anvil inside his guts, just by his attention. The sheer heaviness of his body and this devouring agony in his back were taking away every thought, even every reflexive function of his body. He couldn't breath. There was still air in his lungs, but it wouldn't move in either directing.

His vision was blurry, shrinking from the edges. His extrimietes weren't part of him anymore. Limp arms just hung by his sides useless. There was no connecting anymore, neither between his brain and them, nor between his body and them.

Even if he had noticed his body moving another floor down by gravity, he couldn't have stopped his shoulder slamming into the cool tilts of the gym shower.

He had fallen on the same side, where that newly created hole in his body was screaming at him. Everything went black and still for a merciful moment. But with the artificial light from above, the pain was back again too just a heartbeat later.

A groan left him. He wasn't really sure who made that sound. Tim felt disconnected from himself. He was only pain. There was nothing else anymore. No sunshine, no flowers, no laughter, no freedom, no joy... padt and future forgotten. There was only pain.

Apparently at some point he must have started to breath again. At least that must be where this weezing sound was coming from. But it was shallow and unsatisfying. His lungs felt no better compared to the moments, he couldn't breath at all. '... how long was he laying here?'

Everything was fuzzy. And it was cold all of a sudden. It actuall, felt like he was laying in a puddle of water, kind of warm water, but he was cold nevertheless. Tim was in the showers he realised or remember, he wasn't sure. 'So... water...okay! But he was fully dressed. So...?'

This water felt sticky. 'Water shouldn't be sticky. Wasn't that the whole point? To use water, to not feel sticky? That was making no sense.' He was so cold!

His useless body was shivering violently. He imagined someone had strapped him to a vibrating plate and turned it on. And he couldn't breath. 'What had happened?'

Something warm in his face. So warm and soothing he wanted to melt into it. The shivers were pressed into the background of his mind. There was only a big palm regarding all his attention now.

'When had he closed his eyes?' Trying to open them was so hard. But a voice was eagerly encouraging him to do so.

"...mmy. Please look at me. Come on, little guy." The tone was gentle, the hand even more gently brushing his cheek. He knew that voice. "..ohn." Tim's lips hardly parted enough, to form the name of his friend.

'Friend?' A whimper escaped him. He couldn't tell why. There was an uncertain feeling in his guts, he couldn't place. But he was too weak to further think about it.

John was looking at him, somewhat sorry. His eyes were sad, but Tim had a hard time to keep his own eyes open at all. They were just too heavy. The warm hand slapped him lightly. That voice got an edge more demanding, but was still low and concerned. "Timmy. Look.At.Me."

Tim forced his eyes open again. His mouth was so dry, breathing was so hard. And his whole right side was on fire, while he apparently was turning into an icecube. Hot, devouring fire, that should have melted the ice by now. But instead everything was slowly fading into heavy numbness, it seemed.

"I'm so sorry, Timmy. I really am... but you were in my way."

The soothing hand brushed through his hair one last time. John's expression was full of sorrow, when he came to his feet. "I'm sorry my friend."

John's big shadow slowly disappeared out of Tim's vision. He didn't understand and he was too weak to lift his head and try to stop and ask John what he was talking about.

Footsteps were getting away, the soft sound slowly vanished, mixing into the drum of his own heartbeat.

Tim's eyes had closed again. The feeling of a hand was still lightly lingering on his scalp.

A bad cough sneaked its way up his gullet until it was too late to stop it. It hacked through him. His weak body was violently shaken, while a gush of blood found its way out of his mouth and was sprayed almost artful on white tilts.

My whumptember2023 masterlist

[tokuteasings]

MBJR BROTPS PART 2 (OUTSIDE OF MBJR EDITION) PLEASE?

ASK AND YE SHALL RECEIVE

Warnings: uh...spoilers?????

@melting-morning-blues bc i love you, friendo

Horobi + Delmo: It's basically the "I don't know how I ended up here, but here I am" situation of friends. But because Delmo is close to Naki, Horobi ends up kind of being invited into this circle. Delmo is this ray of sunshine that Horobi isn't sure how to handle half of the time but simply enjoys her boundless energy and her confidence to do something good in the world. She also helps bring him out of his shell via literally dragging him out to shop with her. If there's negative press about it, Delmo flies into this rage and Horobi is honestly considering signing adoption papers for her. In fact, Delmo was one of the prime influences on Horobi learning how to knit.

Horobi + Yua: Again, because Horobi spends a lot of time with Naki, he ends up becoming friends with Yua though even the word "friend" is loose and it's more so...work buddies? He's not as close with her compared to Naki but Horobi merely finds her fascinating. He is content to watch her work and how she interacts with people and sure there is tension between them but they're working past it. Working with humans is daunting and while he hasn't worked up the courage to fully be able to talk to Aruto juuust yet, Yua is this nice medium because she gives him heartfelt advice on how to go about the world.

Naki + Yua: Obviously going to be put on here but these two very much work well together and are often found walking to and from work together. They are comfortable in silence but there are other times when they will chat about things at work or things outside of work. Naki is often found going with Yua to amusement parks because they can handle her maniac energy sometimes. But really, they simply enjoy each other's quiet presence. They're both pretty introverted so sometimes they spend a night at Yua's house, watching movies or documentaries together, watching Yua cook, and they're just comfy around each other and sometimes that's all you need.

Naki + Isamu: Another no-brainer due to the situation between the two. If Yua is this calm yet whack ass presence, Naki and Isamu together is basically Naki holding on to a feral dog's leash and being the only one allowed to pet it. These two had a lot of healing to do before they were able to properly talk together in a positive context but now Naki just likes sending Isamu stupid little puns and jokes just to make him laugh. It makes them laugh inwardly as well. They're the kind of friends that crash at each other's place because they were bored and had nothing else to do and Naki likes Isamu's emotional whack-ass sometimes. Isamu also gave them ideas for the punishment wheel for the Metsuboujinrai game and actually, these two play games together often. They're both highly competitive.

Jin + Aruto: Next to Ikazuchi, Jin is the one of the only members of MBJR that visits Hiden often. He's gotten along with Aruto since all of this shit had ended and he doesn't...um...use the door half of the time. He just flies up to Aruto's roof top and gives him a call, or just bang on his office window like, "LET ME IN!!!!" and then tumbles into his office. These two just talk about anything and everything, and he brings Aruto food more often than not. Sure he may not fully understand all of Aruto's jokes but he thinks they're cutely funny. While it is true that Jin is kind of the bridge to mend the relationship between Aruto and Horobi, Jin simply enjoys the same bouts of energy Aruto gives off. They often are found going out on adventures, checking up on Humagears, patrolling, etc.

Jin + Izu: Since regaining her Singularity, Izu and Jin have hung around one another just as often as Aruto and Jin. It's similar to a sibling-like relationship since Izu did consider Was Nazotoku as a brother and Jin's eccentrics slightly reminds her of him...it's like finding a home again. He was very eager to get to know her despite what happened between them and while Izu is still rough around the edges and kind of stiff, she has come to value Jin as a brother-like figure and has been found joining him on patrols and giving him advice on how to better interact with humans. In return, Jin often takes Izu flying and has taught her how to defend herself outside of the Zero Two suit since uh...she...uh...has a lack of danger in herself. He reminds her that she's important to many people and must take care of herself, and she reminds him ofo the same.

Ikazuchi + Aruto: As stated before, Ikazuchi has the most positive relationship with Aruto next to Jin, but perhaps has a better relationship with Aruto than the other does with the president. Sometimes you can hear Aruto accidentally slip out "Aniki!" whenever they see each other. This only triggers his brotherly instincts further and he just laughs, teasing the president but really he basically signed the adoption papers. These two often go out riding on their bikes just around the city together, or walk around the city in a very loose sort of "patrol" but more so to relax. Ikazuchi does worry that Aruto is overworking himself and Aruto worries about the general well-being of the other. Aruto is always ready to help tune him up too.

Ikazuchi + Isamu: These two share one fucking brain cell, and it dangles right above their shared heads, completely out of reach. It's like they both lose it whenever they're together. They bicker and argue but immediately will jump to each other's defense if someone else is picking on them. They're homies who are simply comfy with picking on each other but also getting real with one another over like a cup of beer. Hot-headed as the two are, they make bets with one another over the dumbest shit but there are times when they're not at each other's throats. They're just content to laze around Isamu's apartment, him drinking a beer and Ikazuchi surfing through the channels, each of them talking about their day and asshats and joking that they should totally slash their tires. Also do not let them go to an arcade together. A machine is going to break.

[stxnekxng]

Well, it wasn't like he didn't know HOW to absolutely make his beloved sunlight brighten up. Not just metaphorically here either. Though, he was mindful not to completely exploit those few little weaknesses that the golden king didn't want other's to know about. Nope. He'd guard those just as heavily as he did, not wanting anyone to use it against his beloved with nefarious intent. Not while he was around. Not unless someone want to take a cudgel to the side of the skull and die.

Still, he knew enough that would get him glowing as brightly as the sun that he was often compared to by others. And it wasn't like Dawn couldn't get him back later — it be unfair if he didn't allow him that. For now though, this was his move and he was going to make good on his promise. Ready to make his mate buckle at the knees but more importantly to make him feel absolutely loved like he deserved.

Gentle shadowy hands moving up and across the other simian's body till they came to settle on either side of his face. His form slowly forming from the void as the usual glamours that hide away his appearance were absent — something he rarely did but he knew that always excited the other to see. It was sweet how big a deal Dawn made it when he didn't hide himself in front of him. His thumbs tracing across his cheeks softly before he brought him close to plant a soft but loving kiss against those lips, hands moving as arms wrapped around his shoulders to pull him closer. Claws raking through golden locks in just the way he knew his sunshine enjoyed it, playing with his hair in a sense. Pulling away after a moment to admire him before peppering kisses across his face happily, his tail seeking out it's golden companion to curl around as it tightened. Making those little chirps and trills he knew he also enjoyed hearing.

"You know if you just wanted me to love on you, the challenge wasn't necessary you know?"

A small smirk and a soft little chuckle, even if he couldn't make him glow he didn't care much. He just felt like loving on his beloved right now. Give him that much needed care and attention. Forehead pressing against his and humming a little melody — a song he specifically had written for him centuries ago.

"I will always be willing to love you when you need it, my dearest Sunshine."

He was expecting the other to come after him. Just not like this. Anything but this and honestly? It's the gentle approach that draws a gentle purr from his chest, claws raising to be placed over the other's. Those worn hands that caress his skin like he was something so precious to the other. He could never see what the other saw, he wasn't sure where he found it at all, some deep part of him. Even still to just see the other as his true self, no matter how much macaque thought he wasn't worth it, it made him smile. That true earnest smile as his purrs grow a bit louder as the other leans forward, bringing him into a loving kiss that spoke more than words ever could. He all but melts into it, his own glamors peeling away in turn, it was only fair right? A soft note escaping him as he almost whines when the other pulls him closer, deepening the kiss and claws running through his wild mane of hair. He won't admit ever how such a simple action could make him feel so weak in the knees, purring at full volume now. Even as the other begins to speak. Maybe not but it definately got the other to act much quicker (and also chase away the intrusive thoughts that had been about to stir up) as he just simply gazes at him. Nothing but pure love in his gaze as he slowly wraps his arms around his midsection, all but snuggling close as best he could.

"I love you." Even if the only glow is from his tiger Stripes, it totally counts.

[drsorrell]

Reading Short Fiction, Fri. 8.2.24

You made it to the end of the first week!

Trust me on this one. Adjust your Schoology Notification settings (screenshots below).

Close Reading RD Comments

In your Fall English class, you will receive extensive overall feedback. This means that your professor will make general comments for the whole class and expect you to follow them in addition to the rubric.

In my experience, this sometimes annoys students who want direct feedback. But your professor is teaching OTHER classes and many other students, so if everyone in your Core Writing class is making a mistake, they will point this out to the class, not to everyone one-on-one.

I'm trying to show you how that works here (and going over what I saw in The Close Reading RDs that have been submitted so far).

GO INTO MORE DETAIL AND TAKE RISKS (THINKING ONES!)

A Close Reading (and your assignments for our course and your next one in the Fall) are all about detail. Keep pushing your points. Take a risk and make a claim that just pops into your head, and see if you can, in fact, back it up.

Remember yesterday in class when I talked about this quote: "Or maybe that wasn’t the time it snowed. Maybe it was the time we slept in the truck and I rolled over on the bunnies and flattened them. It doesn’t matter. What’s important for me to remember now is that early the next morning the snow was melted off the windshield and the daylight woke me up. A mist covered everything and, with the sunshine, was beginning to grow sharp and strange. The bunnies weren’t a problem yet, or they’d already been a problem and were already forgotten, and there was nothing on my mind. I felt the beauty of the morning."

You can use this quote to point out how out of it the narrator is or the effects of the drugs.

You can also use it to point out, as I did, how important sense perception is to the narrator, which has to do with the drugs and simply reacting to situations instead of planning, as you guys pointed out in class.

But you could also go further, as I was starting to yesterday. You could make your argument and say that it is hard to trust anything this kind of narrator says, and maybe nothing in the story "really" happened. You'd also be right because it is fiction. This is what teachers mean when they tell you to take risks. Trust me that it's much more interesting to write something like this than just saying what you think I want you to say. (I don't want you to say anything; I aim for you to practice reading, writing, thinking, and making evidence-driven arguments.)

USE THE AUTHOR'S WORDS

Break down the language of the quote as much as possible, even when doing another category. So, if you say that both "Sidle Creek" and "Emergency" involve miracles that aren't really miracles, then you need to use the words of the stories as well.

Compare the following:

Both "Sidle Creek" and "Emergency" involve miracles that aren't really miracles. <- Great idea!

Both "Sidle Creek," where Esme believes she feels "the Sidle’s love walking deep inside," and "Emergency," where the narrator ("F***head) has a vision of "angels were descending out of a brilliant blue summer, their huge faces streaked with light and full of pity," involve miracles that aren't truly miracles. <- Great idea, backed up by textual evidence!

WATCH YOUR CAPITALIZATION

The first letter of every sentence is capitalized.

The first letter of proper names is capitalized: Esme, Georgie, Allegheny, Sidle Creek.

Story titles are capitalized and in quotes: "Sidle Creek" and "Emergency." (If you're ever in doubt, just look at how I write them on the syllabus and elsewhere.) SENTENCE FRAGMENTS: UNDERSTAND WHAT CONSTITUTES A COMPLETE SENTENCE.

Complete sentences with a subject and a verb are essential for maintaining the coherence and clarity of your writing. a complete sentence always has an identifiable subject (the person or thing doing something) and a verb (the action being done). This understanding is crucial for maintaining the coherence and clarity of your writing. Avoid using sentence fragments.

The use of sentence fragments has increased in recent years. Even newspapers do it. However, in clear, academic writing where you are trying to make a specific point, you don't.

For example: "The narrator thinks he is seeing angels. But it's really a drive-in. That doesn't matter, though, because the author has a different point. To show you that the narrator is looking for something new and better."

"To show you that the narrator is looking for something new or better" is a fragment with no subject. This should either be attached to the sentence before (1) or needs a subject to make it a complete sentence (2):

(1) "That doesn't matter, though, because the author makes a different point, to show that the narrator is looking for something new and better."

(2) "That doesn't matter, though, because the author has a different point. He is trying to show you that the narrator is looking for something new and better."

Discussion of the first half of "Wait for Night"

Author: Stephen Graham Jones on why he writes.

Author on the inspiration for the story: "Where this story happens is a place along the creek I pedal past about every day. For a long while last summer there was a crew doing stuff there, so they kind of became part of . . . I don’t know: they became possible, if that makes sense. I started wondering what they might be digging up. And who they were. And then I remembered a big field of blown-down trees I got lost in on the reservation one November, and how all these upturned root pans were enough for me, they were all I needed, or could think of.

And then I wrote this story."

(1) First sentence, last sentence.

(2) Why are there SO MANY real-world references?

Lace-up Red Wing boots

Ditch Witch

Kicker for the Broncos

"As near as I could tell, every waterway for miles in every direction was clogged with trash from the flood three years before." -> 2013 Floods

Diagonal Highway

Root pan: bottom of tree, roots. dirt, rocks, everything that gets uprooted

"My uncle’s unregistered Buick"

Runabout (construction or ATV ?)

Wild West, Roaring Twenties, Great Depression

(3) Characters, Personalities, and Backgrounds: What do we know, and how do we know it?

(4) What is the central theme of the first half of the story? What gets mentioned again and again?

(5) Connections to "Sidle Creek" and/or "Emergency"?

(6) What do you think happens next? ;)

Time to work on CR FDs

Homework: Before class: CR1 FD due AND finish reading “Wait for Night” (2020).

[ifeellikelambo]

To The Love of My Life

To the love of my life…

To my sunshine…

To my soulmate…

To my buddy…

To my ironman…

I am so fortunate to call you my first love. I trusted you with my mind, heart, body, and soul, and they've all been returned fully intact. I love you so much that it makes me cry. You are such a beautiful person: one of the most caring, honorable, gentle, sweet, and slightly tormented souls I've had the pleasure of knowing so intimately. Thank you for trusting me with your heart. I hope you felt my love and yearning for you every day. We have spent the last 6 years growing together, and I regret nothing. 

Loving you felt like home, being wrapped in your arms meant that I was safe, and being in your presence felt like all our dreams could come true. Thank you for holding me when I cried and meeting me with logic when I wanted to unravel. Thank you for believing in my strength when I was fragile, weak, and too broken to stand on my own. Thank you for kissing my forehead at night between your Call Of Duty breaks. 

Thank you for kissing my fingers that first time in your car - I melted... (I remember telling my friend that you were a prince out of a Fairytale). Thank you for holding my hands - I love holding yours. Thank you for making love to me so gently and so passionately. Thank you for loving me fiercely, selflessly, and a little selfishly at times - I know you were in love with me, I felt it and I was obsessed with you - my world has not felt the same without you in it. The bed, the shower, and the room all feel so empty without the sound of your sweet voice and your playful laughter.

I’ll miss the sweet sound of your humming and the way you sing off-key (my mumble). I’ll miss your big beautiful smile. I’ll miss the way your forehead creases to hearing the sound of your name when I wake you out of sleep because I miss you and want to say hi and you reply “Hi baby” and you fall back asleep immediately. I’ll miss your brilliant mind, your thoughtful mind, your mischievous mind, and your unyielding mind (at times). I’ll miss arguing with you because even amid our disagreements there was love. I’ll miss your gentle touch and your warm embrace, I’ll miss the sincerity in your eyes when you hold my gaze and ask me “What’s the matter baby?” 

I’ll miss the way you complain when I place my frozen feet on your body or the way you compare my hot showers to bathing in lava. I’ll miss the way you say break “fix” instead of break “fast”. I’ll miss getting your ingrown hairs out of your beard and twisting the beautiful head of coils on your head. I’ll miss rubbing your head as you fall asleep in my lap. I’ll miss watching anime with you and going on our movie dates.

I’ll miss falling asleep and saying I didn’t when you hear my breathing change. I’ll miss waking up next to you. I’ll miss coming home to find you here waiting for me. I’ll miss watching you go. I’ll miss the feeling of your hand on my thigh while you drive. I’ll miss the way you squint your eyes when you’re irritated or in deep thought. I’ll miss that animated look you get in your eyes when you talk about anything you find to be of interest. I’ll miss the way you’d lick your lips before we kissed. I’ll miss breathing you in.

I’ll miss pulling your chest hair. I’ll miss hugging you a little too long and holding you a little too tight afraid I might lose you. I’ll miss falling asleep on the phone. I’ll miss hearing about your day. I’ll miss hearing from you. I’ll miss you. I’ll miss kissing your forehead, your eyelids, your cheeks, the back of your ears, your lips... I’ll miss the look of mischief in your eyes when you tease me. If only I knew the last time would be the last time - I’ll miss the way we made love…I’ve been missing you, even when we were together I’ve missed you - I’ve missed us. I’ll miss us.

I remember the day we got on the phone together, it was so random and then we met moments later that day - you were confident and smiling and had a nice aura about you, nothing more to it that. 

“The first time you caught my eye it was not love at first sight. Instead, a quiet curiosity was planted in my chest and I knew it was only a matter of time before you sunk beneath my bones and nurtured this deep-seated familiarity into a love so fierce that I would question if I had ever been in love before.” ― The Lost Girls

 When we hung out with everyone for the first time at the table at the Tech Center I said you were lowkey and I thought you were funny - we hugged goodbye and I didn’t think too much more about that day until I started seeing you more and more around campus and you asked me for my number… and for the first time, I wanted to give my number to a man without feeling like “let me just do this so he’ll leave” I wasn’t looking for love when I met you, which is why I might’ve seemed disinterested at first, it wasn’t until you called me up that day that I was like oh - he likes me?! Haha … and then I started looking forward to your text and our calls, our dates, and so we made it official on May 19, 2017.

On July 5, 2023, our world stopped and our 6-year love story came to a halt. 6 years of love, laughter, tears, hurt, patience, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness, and composure (give or take a little). In those 6 years, we went through what I’d like to call growing pains, we met different versions of ourselves and we learned how to navigate our new normal. It was hard at times for various reasons but we did it and now we’ve reached a point where we can no longer grow together. 

“We fear that evaluating our needs and then carefully choosing partners will reveal that there is no one for us to love. Most of us prefer to have a partner who is lacking than no partner at all. What becomes apparent is that we may be more interested in finding a partner than in knowing love.” ― All About Love: New Visions

I miss you so much it’s breaking me and it’s hard to breathe through the tears but I believe everything you wrote that night was as sincere as you’ve been this entire relationship, my love. 

“Choosing to be honest is the first step in the process of love. There is no practitioner of love who deceives. Once the choice has been made to be honest, then the next step on love's path is communication.”― All About Love: New Visions

You know the night you sent that text - I was thinking that we should break up but I didn’t do it because I was clinging on to hope that it would get better but I do think we should break up. I think we owe it to ourselves to do some individual healing and growing on our own - this doesn’t feel good and I want to remember our relationship as it was - the good and the difficult days, not this. 

“Only love can heal the wounds of the past. However, the intensity of our woundedness often leads to a closing of the heart, making it impossible for us to give or receive the love that is given to us.” ― All About Love: New Visions

I’m sorry for all the ways that you’re broken and hurt. I’m sorry I couldn’t take away your pain. I’m sorry you feel alone because my love I’ve been right here and I will always be here. Stephen, you are both stubborn and tenacious, you will get through this season of grief, loss, depression, and hurt. I will always be here to support you but I think we both need to let go, thank you for allowing us to hold on for a little longer. Thank you for loving me and thank you for allowing me to love you. I love you three thousand.

P.S. ― all pictures, videos and treasures accumulated over the course of our story are too precious for me to ever throw away. - I will keep them always - safe and sound.

Just like a star across my sky

Just like an angel off the page

You have appeared to my life

Feel like I'll never be the same

Just like a song in my heart

Just like oil on my hands

Honor to love you

Still, I wonder why it is

I don't argue like this

With anyone but you

We do it all the time

Blowing out my mind 

Just like a star that's in my sky

Just like an angel off my page

You have appeared in my life

It feels like we never are the same

Damn and it's been, way too long

Can't find the words to write this song

Hey, uh, still I wonder why

But it ain't what I do

Hey, we do it all the time

Goin' out my mind

Man, damn