#if there was like. 28 hours in a day i could manage this way better

[shittygothbitch]

What I rly need now I think is to sleep for like 16 hours straight thru

[lavenderchqn]

"PILLOWS AND THEIR FORTS"

synopsis — after a day escalates in you being fully deflated, kinich proves you that love comes in more than one way pairing — kinich x gn!reader warnings — minor character having a stereotypical outlook on what love is, a very minor panic attack notes — just a small kinich fic, since I'm enjoying him a lot recently

You stifled a yawn, exhausted at the day you unfortunately had to experience. 

The beginning of a new semester was always rough — dealing with new subjects, professors, or fellow students. Sad to say, what it also came with was… bloody in-person lectures. Combining those with your first practical subjects, you were stuck at university since 8 AM. 

Checking at your phone, you’ve discovered you were almost here for 12 hours. The clock has struck a miserable 7:28 PM. Only twelve more minutes and you’d be free to go home. To your beloved blankets. To your beloved pillows. 

“Earth to my lovely friend!” Your university bestie said, her voice muffled. You noticed her hands waving in front of your face. How did she manage to still feel energised was quite a mystery. 

“What’s up?” You asked, laying your head on your arms.

“Look at the boy I’m trying to get with…” She handed her phone to you, giving you full access to her full dating app conversation. “Quite the catch, dare I say~” 

You hummed, acknowledging her words. Unfortunately for her, your brain was not responsive enough to entertain her situation. “Looks nice, I guess…” 

“I know, right! Not to mention,  he’s such a romantic!!” She tried to further prove her point by all the serenade-like words the guy had sent. 

“I’m happy for you… let me nap now, please…” You closed your eyes, trying to conserve the last bits of your energy. Sadly, that was not doable due to a sudden thunderclap startling you back to full attention. Did it seriously start to rain just now?!

On a day… when you had decided to leave your umbrella back at home? Great, just great.

The lecture soon ended, and slouched people left the classroom trying to find any means of getting home. 

“My soon-to-be boyfriend said he can pick me up!” Your friend jumped in excitement. “Sometimes I pity you for still staying with Kinich, you know?” 

Oh. That was new.

“What do you mean?” You stopped, staring your friend down. What did he have to do with anything?

“You’re too good for him!” Her voice strikes back. “Surely you could do much better with a guy who can prove their love to you!” 

Her attitude was less than enjoyable at that moment. 

You pinched the bridge of your nose. That was certainly not the time to have an argument with a friend. Your head was pounding — a cumulative effort of fatigue mixed with your sensitivity to weather. 

“Whatever.” You scoffed. “You’re not the one in this relationship, so what makes you think your opinion matters?” 

With those words, you were off. Into the cold and rain, you went. 

By the time you make it, you’re soaked from head to toe. You sigh as you turn the key to the house. Halfway through your walk back, you remembered that tonight was your turn to cook dinner. Only gods can hope, that Kinich isn’t upset with you.

The moment you step through the door, you’re hit with the smell of a freshly cooked dinner. Did he get so fed up he ordered something? 

You don’t even have time to think, swift footsteps coming in your direction.

“Holy fuck. I knew it started raining, but this much?” Kinich helps you in getting off your bag before heading to the bathroom. 

He’s soon back, with a stack of towels. 

“You’re alright, Love. I’ve got you.” He starts to dry your hair, doing his best not to damage your hair. Your head hangs low — you don’t want your partner to look at your face. It’s hard to even think when tears have joined all the water drops you’re covered with. 

Kinich must know something, as he doesn’t even question your odd behaviour. He dries as much water as he can. “Do you want me to carry you to the bathroom?” He asks. 

“Huh?” You finally look at him, confusion in your eyes. “Why would you?” 

“Because,” He flicks your shoulder lightly. “You need a shower before you get sick.” 

With that, he picks you up and carefully carries you to the bathroom. 

“I’m going to get you some warm and cosy clothes for when you’re done.” He sets you down in the middle of the bathroom, in front of the shower. “Once you’re done, we’re going to eat dinner.” 

“A-Alright.

You stand there frozen for a moment once Kinich leaves, staring at the shower, still in a daze from everything that had happened throughout the day. The exhaustion weighing heavily on your shoulders finally catches up, and you let out a long sigh before undressing and stepping into the warm water.

As the heat cascades over your skin, the tension in your body begins to ease. You let the water wash away not only the grime from the rain but also the stress of the day. You can’t help but think back to your friend's words — her judgment about your relationship with Kinich. It leaves a bitter taste in your mouth, but as the warm water envelops you, you realise how unfair it was to let those words affect you. Kinich was always there for you, always patient, always understanding. Her words didn’t matter. 

After a while, you finally get out of the shower, feeling lighter, though still emotionally drained. You dry yourself off and slip into the cosy clothes Kinich had laid out for you. As you open the bathroom door, the smell of dinner wafts through the air again. Your stomach growls, reminding you that you haven’t eaten much today.

Walking into the kitchen, you see Kinich setting the table. He looks up and smiles slightly when his eyes meet yours. "Feel better?”

You nod, offering a small smile in return. "Yeah, thanks… And sorry for not making dinner tonight.”

“Do I need to flick your forehead harder?” He asks, head tilted looking at your face confused. “I don’t need an apology.” 

“B-but…” 

“Shush.” He hands you the cutlery, before taking a seat himself. “Enjoy the meal, we’re having a cosy night once you’re done.” 

“Cosy night?—“ You turn around to look at the living room. 

There’s a pillow fort there. Fully fortified, oozing with pure comfiness.  

You stare at the pillow fort, blinking in disbelief. Kinich, always full of surprises, had somehow managed to set up the cosiest little corner of the living room while you were in the shower. Soft blankets draped over chairs and an assortment of pillows arranged perfectly. 

“You did all this while I was showering?” you ask, your voice soft with awe.

Kinich chuckles as he takes a bite of his food. “Sure did. Figured you could use a bit of comfort after the day you’ve had. Plus, we haven’t had a good pillow fort night in ages.”

Soon after,  the meal comes to an end. You both clear the table and Kinich gestures toward the fort. “Fort time?” he asks with a grin.

You nod eagerly, following him into the living room. The fort is even cosier up close, with a pile of your favourite snacks and a movie queued up on the laptop nestled inside. Kinich climbs into the fort first, patting the spot beside him, and you quickly follow, snuggling into the soft pillows as he wraps an arm around your shoulders.

For a while, you both just sit there, the warmth of the fort and his presence surrounding you like a shield against the outside world. The rain continues to tap against the windows, however inside, everything feels safe and perfect.

“Thank you, Kinich,” you whisper, resting your head against his chest. “For everything.”

He starts stroking your back. “Of course. It’s the least I could do, to make your day less shitty.”

And in that moment, you realise that he truly did that. Despite the rough day, despite your friend’s hurtful words, sitting here in this homemade fort with Kinich by your side, you feel truly content… 

Knowing that love can be more than words. 

date of posting — september 16th 2024

[steddieas-shegoes]

7:28

this post by @footburn inspired me in that 'you must type this out before you can do anything else' way so here. this was literally from brain to computer in about 20 minutes.

rated m this is literally just the softest and sweetest fluff, with some implied sexual content discussed

------------------

"Eds."

"Hm?"

Eddie's sleepy voice whispered against Steve's ear, his breath sending a shiver down his spine.

Steve turned his head as his hand reached over to cup the back of Eddie's head, his fingers gently gripping the frizzy strands of hair sticking out.

"Gotta get up," Steve mumbled.

The alarm clock would be going off in two minutes, a stark reminder that the real world was just outside of their bedroom and unfortunately required putting on clothes and going to work.

If he could, he'd stay like this all day, every day, for the rest of their lives.

Next to Eddie, on top of Eddie, under Eddie, any way he could possibly have him. As long as the sunlight kept streaming through the window and the warmth of Eddie's soft, sleepy smile was in view, Steve would be happy.

"Mm-mm," Eddie shook his head once, nuzzling closer so his next exhale made Steve's eyes flutter closed.

"I have to open today."

Eddie's hand settled on his shoulder, squeezing once before falling away again.

"Stupid."

"What is, baby?" Steve smirked as he watched Eddie's brows furrow as he finally started to wake up.

"Work."

Eddie's eyes fluttered open.

The alarm clock switched to 7:29.

"Call out," Eddie's eyes blinked slowly.

"I can't. It's just me today. Robs would kill me."

"But it'll kill me to watch you get out of bed," Eddie pouted.

Steve sat up, leaning on his elbow, and looked down at Eddie.

Eddie looked back up at him with those wide eyes, bottom lip out like it would actually convince Steve to stay.

The alarm clock showed 7:30.

Steve reached over to shut off the alarm as soon as it started beeping.

He leaned down to kiss his head, then his heart tattoo, then the scar on his side.

"Pleeeease?" Eddie whined. "I have today off. We could sleep and not sleep."

Steve rolled his eyes, but couldn't help but want to give in.

They had so few days like this: where one of them didn't wake up screaming or crying from a nightmare, where they weren't in pain the moment their eyes opened, where someone wasn't needing them the moment the sun rose.

It was tempting to take advantage of this moment, of this day, see where it would lead if Steve just settled back down in bed, see if they were able to sleep for another couple of hours.

Maybe wake up with lips against skin, or hands against chests or thighs.

Maybe eat breakfast in bed and make more than one type of mess.

Maybe only get up to take a shower together, scrub off the stickiness of syrup and body fluids.

Or maybe they'd get a call in 15 minutes from Dustin, who should know better than to call before ten in the morning on weekends, but does anyway because he won't admit that he misses them.

Maybe Robin would show up to shove Steve out the door for the shift he's supposed to work, pissed that he'd even try to get out of it.

Maybe Wayne would finally remember to bring that cake recipe he found in an old family cookbook and insist on helping him make it since he knows the secret.

Or maybe Steve would kiss Eddie's lips once before getting up and doing the thing he doesn't want to do today so they can enjoy their peace tomorrow.

Maybe Steve can look at the alarm clock that now reads 7:31 and think about how sometimes love is getting out of a cozy bed and going to work so you have money to pay for those concert tickets that are gonna be the best birthday present he's ever gotten.

"Love you so much, Eds," Steve whispers as he pulls away from Eddie's mouth, already longing for another kiss.

"Love you too, sweetheart. Bring ya lunch?" Eddie's eyes were getting heavy again as he turned his head into the sheets, breathing in the scent of Steve, of them.

"See you then."

At 7:32, Steve managed to go into the bathroom to shower and get ready for his day.

At 7:56, Steve kissed Eddie's forehead as he slept, careful not to wake him.

At 8:02, Steve left a note for Eddie on his way out the door, the same note he wrote for him every morning, left on his favorite mug so he wouldn't miss it when he made his coffee.

Love you, miss you, want you - your Stevie

[ahgasegotarmy116]

He Doesn't Deserve You | A Jeon Jungkook Series | Chapter Five

Summary: Taehyung gets careless and breaks your heart yet again. Pairing: Noona reader x Jeon Jungkook (She's 28 and he's 22) Word Count: 4.7K~ Warnings: Implied yändere and mentions of signs of trauma because of it. (nothing too extreme) a/n: It's taken me so long to get this chapter out I'm sorryyy but I hope it was worth the wait! Thank you so much for your continued support on my stories and I hope you'll look forward to the next part!

Jungkook's visit last week really had me thinking about the choices I make on the daily. 

I stopped stressing about what Taehyung might be doing when he's away and started thinking about ways I could improve myself.

It wasn't anything major but I wanted to take baby steps.

For instance, setting up a schedule for when I wake up and always making sure to not stay up past midnight. Along with promising myself to at least sit and write for a couple of hours per day but also taking breaks when I felt I needed to. I would come back though and finish only when I was satisfied and came to a proper stopping point.

Implementing these little changes in my life has worked wonders on my confidence and peace of mind. I feel like I'm accomplishing something and getting some sort of fulfillment in the day to day which I haven't been able to say for the past few years.

I guess all of this can be chalked up to Jungkook. 

I know I'm ultimately the one who's implemented these things into my life but if he hadn't given me that push, I don't think I would've ever gotten to even see these small victories.

While I'm in the kitchen pouring myself a cup of coffee I hear a faint chime on my laptop and I smile knowing exactly who it is.

'Good morning Noona, did you sleep well?'  I read from the all too familiar jkjkjk.97  and smile seeing that my suspicions were correct.

'I slept like a baby, who knew going to bed before dawn would do wonders!'  I send back and when I try to stand up to walk back over to the kitchen I'm met with another email popping up from him.

'That's good! I'm happy to see that you're feeling a bit better these days :)'  he sends and I smile at the fact that he's just as eager to reply to me. It's been like this ever since that day he dropped off my groceries. He would send me emails first thing in the morning almost like clockwork.

I'm surprised that he manages to keep a similar schedule to mine but I don't really know what he does most days except work. 

I know he works at the grocery store but it seems to me like he's always working at odd hours. Most days even well past closing so it's got me thinking about what else he could possibly do for a living.

It's none of my business but I can't help but be curious about it since when I ask him how his day went, he usually says he's still working even though it seems like he's been working since dawn. 

I really want to ask him but I don't want to pry. He seems like the kind of guy that keeps to himself and open up when he's ready. 

I'm just hoping that there will come a day where he'll trust me as much as I have grown to trust him.

My thought process his interrupted by the sound of keys jingling in the door and my heart sinks to my stomach when I'm brought back to reality.

"Hey baby" Taehyung greets while taking off his shoes. It's Saturday so he doesn't have work which means he might be hanging around here for a while before no doubt heading out again. 

"Hey" I respond quietly, feeling as though I'm retreating back into myself, not really being able to relax until I know what kind of headspace he's in.

"Where's my welcome home kiss from my gorgeous wife?" he asks while walking over to where I'm sitting at my desk. He leans down and kisses me on the lips, moulding his mouth against mine while I crane my neck up and return the kiss, placing a hand on his cheek to keep him connected.

"Welcome home" I let out after he pulls back, panting slightly as he nudges his nose against mine before standing up straight again. "Have you been up long?" he asks, him having gone out late last night and surprisingly turning up here again bright and early.

I hum in acknowledgment, "I've been waking up earlier these days so I can get a jump start on my writing and trying to go to bed earlier" I respond while watching his back as he walks over to the kitchen.

"Oh really? How's that going?" he questions, pouring himself a cup of coffee and walking back into the living room, waiting patiently for my answer. 

"Well it's been nice to implement a bit of a routine since my days and nights have kind of been all over the place for a while. Plus, I feel like this story is really coming along. I even started mapping out ideas for the next book in the series!" I say and he looks at me as if he's almost falling in love with me again, making me shy under his gaze.

"That's amazing honey. I feel like I haven't seen you smiling like this in a really long time. Looks like all you needed was a little discipline to really get your life back together huh?" he say while giving me a knowing look, cocking his head to the side and letting his eyes roam my body for a second. No doubt looking at the faint bruises he'd left from last week.

"I guess so" I say, awkwardly rubbing my bicep where he had grabbed me. "How are you feeling?" he questions, coming a bit closer and ghosting his fingers over the marks. "I'm fine, they don't hurt as much anymore" I say, slipping my arm out if his grasp.

"That's good, I'm sorry I got a little rough with you. I was frustrated with some work stuff and I took it out on you. That wasn't fair of me" he apologizes while brushing the hair out of my face and tucking it behind my ear. "It's okay" I say quietly, looking down at the floor to avoid his gaze. 

"No, it's not okay" he says tilting my chin up and making me make eye contact.

"I haven't been treating you well and I wanna make it up to you" he says, caressing my face with the hand that he used to tilt my chin up. "Okay" I whisper as he leans down to connect our lips again but before they're able to touch his phone rings. 

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone and the name Tiffany flashes across the screen with a kiss emoji at the end, giving me a name to associate as to why he's actually never home. 

"I've gotta take this" he says and I nod my head to show I don't mind even though my heart is breaking more and more with each ring. He gives me a quick kiss to apologize before answering the call and walking into the kitchen. 

I take that as a sign that he'll be leaving for the night again and head into the bathroom since it's the one place he won't question as to why I've shut him out. I close the lid of the toilet and cover my ears so I can't hear him but curiosity gets the best of me and I hold my breath to see if I can make any words out despite my whole motives of coming here in the first place.

"No I ca-. Well I just got here I-. Okay, okay fine I'm coming. Let me just come up with an excuse to tell her and I'll be there soon. Okay? Alright, love you too. Bye" I hear him say and he ends the call. I cover my mouth, trying to stop any sounds of heartbreak that might come out and listen as he walks down the hall to our room. 

"Y/n? Honey where are you?" he asks, barely bothering to look for me. "I'm in here" I say, turning on the sink to drown out the sound a bit to prevent him from hearing how wobbly my voice sounds from the emotions I'm trying to keep at bay. 

"I've gotta head out for the day but I'll be back tomorrow night. You gonna be okay?" he asks as if he cared about me. "Yeah I'll be fine don't worry, I'll see you then" I yell above the sound and he says a quick goodbye through the door in return and leaves soon after. 

Once I hear the front door close I let some of those choked sobs go.

He's never been that obvious before. Does he just not bother to hide since he sees that I don't question him about it? I don't even know why I still care since it's very clear that he doesn't care about me.

At that I look at my phone and see that there's another email from Jungkook that came in a little while ago which gives me motivation enough to dry my eyes and get myself together so I can head back out to my laptop and get lost in this safe haven we've created for each other. 

'Did you forget about me already?'  he questions, seeing as it has taken me a while to respond. I couldn't risk doing it and Taehyung finding out about us. Even though there is no 'us' when it comes to Jungkook and I, unlike that Tiffany girl he just left me for today.

'I'm sorry Taehyung came home. He just left though...'  I send and get a response back immediately, seeing he's been waiting for my response.

'Are you okay? Did something happen?'  he asks and I smile at the thought that there is someone out there that cares enough to ask. 

We've been emailing each other everyday since he came over and I've opened up to him a bit more about my relationship with Tae and he's been really good at just letting me talk and just being there for me. Always talking me through things and helping me process no matter if it's problems with Tae or even other more mundane things like writer's block. 

He's just there, no matter what.

'Can we meet up today?' I type out but hesitate, letting my hand hover over the mouse. 

Watching, waiting, worrying about if this would be a good idea but before making that decision myself I accidentally hit send when I try to put my hand down to rest it on my lap. 

"Shit" I say out loud but before I can figure out how to unsend the message I get a response back. 

'Sure :) Did you want to meet at the Blue Pearl? Or should I come over?'  he asks and I hold my breath, weighing the pros and cons to this whole situation and decide to just say fuck it and do what I want for once. 

'Can you come over?'  I send and close my laptop, too nervous to look at his reply. "What the fuck am I doing inviting a younger guy to my apartment when my husband is gone? What am I doing?" I say out loud and pace back and forth until I hear the chime come from my phone this time. 

'Be there soon :)'  "I'm fucked" I admit out loud before running around and quickly getting myself and the house ready.

 ~~~~~

A rhythmic pattern of knocks plays and puts my mind at ease while I walk towards the door and open it. 

"Noona!" he greets with a smile before giving me a hug that catches me off guard making me take a step back to help me stay balanced. "Thank you for coming" I say while returning his embrace and letting go a second later so I can step aside to let him in. 

"Are you okay?" he asks after having taken off his shoes and taken in my form to what I don't realize is to look for any signs of harm. "Yes I'm fine" I say with a sad smile yet know for a fact that even if I try to deny it he can read me like a book. 

"Then why were you crying?" he asks, looking at my red eyes and flushed cheeks. "I heard Tae talking to one of the girls he's cheating on me with" I mumble and at that Jungkook takes my hand and leads me over to the couch without saying a word.

"He didn't even try hard to hide it. Like he has a stupid kiss emoji next to her name and everything. He had only been here for like twenty minutes tops before he left" I spill out. He keeps a hold of my hand, looking down at it while I let out all the things I've been holding in. 

The worries, the doubts, the fear, the stress. I don't know when it started and I can't figure out how to make it stop. 

"I don't know what to do" I admit, looking down at my lap, watching as the tears fall from my eyes and onto the fabric of my jeans. 

"Do you want me to be honest and tell you what I think or do you want me to just listen?" he asks, rubbing circles on the back of my hand. "Be honest?" I pose almost as a question, knowing this is the ugly truth I've been hiding from. 

"Can you tell me more than one reason as to why you should stay with him? Besides him being your husband" he asks, sitting silently and waiting for me to respond, giving me time to think it through but when I shake my head he goes forward with posing his argument. 

"If you can't manage to come up with a reason as to why you should stay with him then what's keeping you from leaving? I know you said that you're scared and you don't know what to do but the fact that you're not doing anything is hurting you more than if you decided to leave him" he states, I just nod my head and listen, letting him say his piece.

"He's hurting you. He's hurting you physically" he says while ghosting his fingers along the bruises that run up my arm, "Mentally" he continues brushing the hair off of my face and rubbing his thumb up against my temple "And sexually" he finishes, taking note of the hickeys and the way I flinch away from him when he tries to lay his hand on my neck. 

"That's just how Taehyung is, he likes things rough" I say, making excuses for the marks that are clearly beyond rough sex. 

"But do you like it?" he questions, catching me off guard with an intimacy of the question. "He keeps me satisfied if that's what you mean" I answer curtly, hoping he'll take that as an answer. 

"That's not what I asked. Do you enjoy the way he has sex with you? Is that how you want to have sex?" he continues, not backing down from getting an answer out of me. I look up at him to see if he's seriously asking me that question and all I can see is a serious expression on his face.

"I don't mind it" I say, dancing around my answer. "Noona" he warns in a tone of voice he's never used with me, catching me off guard. 

"N-no. No I don't like it. It's too rough for me and I don't like it" I admit. He nods, casting his eyes down as if he's lost in thought before asking his next question. "Have you ever told him?" he questions and I shake my head only to realize moments later that he can't see me. "No I haven't told him" I respond quietly and he nods again before looking back up at me. 

"Why?" he asks and I'm left with one answer. "Because I'm afraid of what he might do to me if I say no" I explain. "I figure it's better to say yes and take it instead of saying no and having him force himself on me" I cover my mouth not realizing the fact that I said the thing that I was even too afraid to admit to myself.

"Has he ever forced himself on you?" he asks while clenching his jaw, clearly upset at the thought. "I didn't tell him no but I tried to make him see that I didn't want it but he didn't care to pay attention" I answer, getting rid of the filter seeing as it won't do either of us any good if I were to hold back. 

"That's one of the many reasons that you shouldn't even be with him anymore" he starts, his whole body tense, anger just bubbling under the surface. "You shouldn't have to be with someone you're scared of. I just don't kno-" 

"That's just it, you don't know. You told me that before, that I shouldn't be with someone that I'm scared of but you just don't get it. You've never been married. You've never had to deal with struggles like this. You make it sound so easy, that I could just leave and never look back but it's not that simple" I spout off, defending myself and my decisions. 

"Noona I just want to he-" "I know, I know" I say cutting him off but gaining a softer tone at the end, shrinking back into myself, ridding myself of my defensive behavior. "I'm sorry Jungkook, I shouldn't have said that. I asked you to come over and then I just yelled at you and I just..." I trail off, hating myself for doing that to him.

He tilts my head up and looks at me, studying my features and I cast my eyes down, too nervous to maintain his strong gaze. "Look at me" he says in a soft tone but I keep my eyes down, focused on my hands that I have balled into fists. 

"Look at me, please..." he whispers and at that I decide to do as he says and I see how his eyes have glossed over, the stars in them wavering. "He doesn't deserve you" he whispers cupping my face, running his thumb along my cheekbone to brush off a tear that I didn't even realize had fallen. 

"I don't know what to do" I let out in a choked sob, letting the tears that I've been holding in fall, never letting myself cry enough to feel better. He pulls me in and I latch onto him, burring my face into his shoulder as he holds onto me tighter, further showing me that I'm safe with him. 

"Whatever you need I'm here for you. Just tell me what to do and I'll do it" he says, the deep rumble of his voice brings me comfort. "I-" I start but cut myself off with another sob. "It's okay, just let it all out" he says and cling to him harder. 

After having sat there and cried with him for what felt like hours my sobs slowly die down to sniffles and my breathing patterns return to normal. "You okay?" he questions, more so asking if I had finished crying versus how I'm feeling about my current reality. I nod my head but nuzzle in closer to him, not wanting to let go just yet. 

"What's wrong?" he questions. "I don't want you to see my face" I complain into his shirt and he laughs at (from his perspective) how adorable I am. "Aw come on why not?" he chuckles and I nuzzle my face into his neck, making skin to skin contact without paying any mind to it. "My face is probably all red and my eyes are puffy from crying" I mumble against his neck. 

His body goes stiff but I don't take too much notice and move a bit closer to him, not realizing how I'm making him feel and only realize it after he clears his throat a few times. "Is something wrong?" I ask finally taking in how uncomfortable he seems. 

"No, nothing's wrong I just- no it's nothing" he says trying to backpedal out of this. "It's obviously something if you're reacting like that" I press, wanting him to be as truthful with me as I have been with him. 

"I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable" I say, pulling away from him. "No! Noona no, it's just that. Your lips were on my neck and you were really close and..." he trails off, hoping that's explanation enough. 

"I didn't even realize I was doing that, I'm sorry..." I trail off as well, hating that I made this situation even more awkward than it already is. "It's okay Noona I just, well I just want to make sure we don't cross a line and it was making it hard for me to do so" he explains.

"What do you mean by that?" I ask, wanting to know exactly what he's thinking. "It's just, well you're married and I think you know that I'm attracted to you by now so it was just making it hard for me to think straight" he admits and I nod my head and look down at my lap, not really knowing how I'm supposed to respond. 

"I hope this doesn't change things between us. I really do want to be your friend but I understand if I've made you uncomfortable. I just thought you should know" he finishes and waits with bated breath for my response. 

"Would things be different?" I question, not fully asking the question since I'm not sure if I want to know the answer. "Would things be different if what?" he presses. "Would things be different if I wasn't married?" I ask and I close my eyes, scared of seeing his reaction. 

"You can't just ask me that" he says and I look up at him to see his face turned away, showing how pink the tips of his ears have gotten and how his jaw is clenching. "Why not?" I press, needing to know based off of the kind of reaction he's giving me. 

"You don't know how hard I've been holding myself back" he says and tongues his cheek, making me widen my eyes at the motion. "Holding yourself back from what?" I press further, needing to know what's running through his mind right now. 

"From kissing you" he says, finally looking back at me, making eye contact before his eyes flicker down to my lips. "I-" "I should go" he says, cutting me off before I can say anything further. "Wait, no you don't have to go. I'm sorry" I say, trying my best to keep him here. I can't let him just run off after a confession like that but he's giving me no other option as I watch him stand up. 

"You have nothing to apologize for Noona. I shouldn't have said that. I do have to go though, my family is waiting for me back at home" he says and I widen my eyes, never having heard him talk about his family as of yet. 

"Family?" I question, my curiosity peaked. "Yeah I live with my mom and my three siblings" he says while walking over to put his shoes on. "Three?" I question and he nods his head not bothering to give me much more than that. 

"That's a topic of conversation for another time though" he says after he stands back up from tying his laces. "Oh okay" I say and hug myself, providing myself some comfort, hating to see him rushing out of here already. 

"They really are waiting for me. My mom has to work tonight so I'm stuck taking care of the kiddos" he says, giving me a soft smile before turning to open the door and I follow behind him. 

"Let me know when you get home okay?" I say, leaning up against the door frame. "I will" he says and reaches out to pull me in for a hug, accepting it right away. 

"I still want you in my life so please, don't disappear" I mumble into his chest and he hums in acknowledgment. "You can't get rid of me that easily. Not after I fought for that title of best friend" he says pulling back and looking down at me fondly and I smile back up at him before he places a hand on the side of my neck and leans down to place a kiss on my forehead.

"Bye Noona" he says, giving me a soft smile. I smile back up at him and return his sentiment before he turns to walk away.

I watch as he goes, waiting for him to get in his car where he looks back up towards my apartment, not expecting to see me waiting for him but smiles when he does. I smile back and wave and watch as he pulls out of his spot and makes his way out of the parking lot. 

"I'm really fucked" I mumble to myself and turn to walk inside my apartment. 

"He gets more and more handsome each time I see that young man" Mrs. Mitchell says, making me jolt back from the scare of being caught. 

"Mrs. Mitchell we didn't-" I start but she waves me off. "You don't need to make excuses to me love. Like I said last time, I wouldn't blame you if you did" she says and places a hand on my arm, noticing all the mixed emotions I have written all over my face. 

"Why don't we change the subject and have you sign those books we had spoken about the other day" she says, turning to walk towards the stack she had waiting by her front door like she had told me she would. 

I smile at her enthusiasm for my writing and and am thankful that she doesn't address what had happened between Jungkook and I anymore. 

"There you go" I say putting the cap on the pen and handing the last book back to her. "Thank you dear! The girls are going to love these!" she says placing the books back in their place. "Girls?" I question, chuckling at her reaction, so happy a simple thing like this could make her happy. 

"Yeah! The other women in my book club. I recommended your books to them and they've been begging me to get them a signed copy from you ever since" she says, turning back to face me. "Well I hope they enjoy them!" I reply happily, embarrassed still that woman of their age are reading it but thankful nonetheless. 

"We're all meeting together here next Sunday so maybe if you're not too busy writing you could stop by and have tea with us. I just know they would love to meet you!" she says, practically glowing with excitement. 

"I'll have to get back to you on that one but it sounds lovely" I smile, my heart swelling at the thought of meeting some of my readers. "Wonderful! But I'll let you get back to your day dear. Make sure to set aside some time to take care of yourself and relax tonight okay? You deserve it" she says placing a comforting hand on my arm before we both go our separate ways. 

As I close the door behind me I'm met with that all too familiar chime and I walk over to my desk, this time a bit more tentative than before, being nervous as to what I might find from my familiar friend jkjkjk.97

Home :) is all he sends but I decide to respond, nervous of the result if I don't, scared that he might shut me out or fade away.

Have fun with the kiddos tonight! And thank you for coming today, it really meant a lot to me  I send back, hoping to make things sound normal.

Anytime, let's see each other again soon. Okay?  he asks and I can tell he's waiting earnestly for a response. 

Okay. This time at The Blue Pearl so we can say 'Hi' to Rae. I miss her :(   I say, hoping that he won't take that as a way of me keeping him from coming over when I really do miss Rae. 

The Pearl it is! Goodnight Noona he says, ending the conversation early tonight, no doubt having a lot to do to manage three kids for the night. 

Goodnight Jungkook  I send and close my laptop, vowing to do as I had agreed upon and take the rest of the day to take care of myself. 

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[daichiduskdrop]

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚⋆·˚ ༘ *𝙎𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙡 ⋆·˚ ༘ *ੈ✩‧₊˚

Chapter 28

Pairing: BTS Ot7 X fem! reader

Genre: A/B/O AU, Fluff, Angst, Strangers to lovers,

Warnings: none!

Words: 3370

Taglist:@thelilbutifulthings @ilovemoneymorethenmen @singukieee @cherrysainttt @felicityroth @mageprincess7 @lucis-noctiana @danielle143 @osakis-gf @girl-nahh @vintageoldfashion @neverthefirstchoice @juju-227592 @silentreadersthings @i-have-no-life-charlie @everyonehatesshani @iamkookiesforyou @dragons-flare @fangirl125reader @roseidol @frieschan @popcatx0 @liz67900 @exfolitae

Previous:

⋆·˚ ༘ *ੈ✩‧₊˚˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚˚ ✩‧₊˚⋆·˚ ༘ *

You and the pack members spend some time in the meeting room for sure, with the alphas carefully discussing all of the details about the filming.

While they have gone to similar locations before, this time the filming would be held in a completely different space, which required a bit of information for sure.

The manager, Sejin, showed them all a few photos of the place, mostly overlooks of the spot where you would all (hopefully) be staying.

The photo, taken presumably via a drone, showed a beautiful, healthy-looking forest surrounding a large, modern villa.

There were many things around the area, including a very well-kept tea garden and a large wooden pier leading to water. You weren't sure if it was the ocean or a lake, but the water was a nice dark shade of blue and teal.

On another photo, taken from a different view, you could see a part of a beautiful pool, partly hidden inside a building. Was it also indoors?

There was a beautiful patio, and behind the house was a nice view—mountains ripping through the ground, forest, and trees mostly all the way around.

„We won't spoil you everything, but just know it's a similar style or even better than last time. I think you guys will like it. We also decided that you guys could include more activities this time since it's not lockdown anymore.

We have ordered you all a stay at the traditional spa, and one day we will take you there for a few hours. I'll call in later to see if it's okay to bring Y/N too...”

The older man said gently, smiling at you all. Seriously, a spa too? You didn't get to really visit a proper one ever, since it was always sort of classified as a useless expense, so you never went.

But after seeing a few visits to traditional spas online, you wanted to try yourself. Maybe you would enjoy it!

„It looks nice, hyung." Jin murmured, looking over the photo on his phone since they received it through email.

The alpha, just looking at the place for a few glances, felt satisfied. Neither of them would really complain under the given situation; this was treated partly as a vacation for them; therefore, it already had them excited as it is.

But if they would travel with you, to which all the points have been looking so far, it would mean you would have to get settled in the place well.

After all, they would leave to record in a few months, which most likely will mean you will already, hopefully, be settled with the pack, used to their scents and the packhouse.

The pack members weren't sure how well you did with travelling, especially long distance.

Sure, they were planning on taking you to their families some time soon if everything would go well, but that wouldn't mean you might do well in a completely new area.

Since they took you to Hybe this morning, you have been quite timid and unsettled; don't think they didn't notice.

Of course, it was given that it would happen, and the alphas were neither angry nor disappointed with you and understood that it also had to do with the many staff employed.

With all the new scents of people you didn't know, the giant majority of them were alphas and sometimes betas, and that was okay.

But still, would you be okay if you went with them to their homes? How about the new cities? If you would go to visit Hobi's home in Gwangju, that would be the farthest from Seoul and therefore their packhouse.

The scent would naturally be quite different, and it might be difficult for you to adjust in the short time frame. They were hoping to spend a night with their families too; would that go okay?

The eldest alpha knew that any of them would pack right back up and be on their way to the train station if they noticed you were not adjusting well.

Maybe one of the family members wouldn't be nice to you, though Jin hoped that wouldn't happen. Maybe you would just have a bad day overall; the train ride was not smooth and too long for you to sleep through, and you just wouldn't be happy at all.

Or maybe you would miss them too much, the sudden separation too quick and harsh on your small, gentle, and sweet little heart.

You could start crying and just fully drop on them if that would happen, and the alpha was so sure if that would truly happen, though he prayed for it not, they would all gather as quickly as possible.

The alpha felt his thoughts run quickly, thinking about all the possible issues and problems that might occur.

Of course they would take you with them. You seemed to be so excited that it made him want to give anything to you to make you happy again, but still, naturally, he felt some worry.

„Yeah, it's nice. Would you like to go to the spa too, princess?” Gently running his fingers through your hair, Jimin softly smiled at you, his eyes gentle.

Nodding a little bit, you shrugged your shoulders. There was a possibility you wouldn't be able to go at all after all, so what was the point in getting too excited?

„Alphas will take you then, little kitty.” Yoongi whispered to you, pecking the top of your head as a gentle gesture. Rubbing his thumb over your knuckles, the alpha smiled softly at you.

It didn't take much longer for them all to go through the tremendous amount of details—they had to discuss how many hours of footage would be filmed every day, if there would be cameras installed, then where, and go over the staff and security members included in.

The camera team would stay in a smaller cabin, close but still far enough to be out of range to really see, where they would go over the recorded footage and help with any issues if needed.

After Sejin told them about the den room, they could get prepared for them if they wished for it to be in the location too. After having you whisper out a soft 'yes, please', the alphas were quick to get a little worried about any cameras in the area.

The packmembers could imagine you being shy and quiet in front of the cameras, and while they would try their very best to keep you calm and not too worried in front of the seemingly very intimidating devices, you might have a hard time adjusting in such a short while.

It would be only about 14 days after all, and even when they hoped you wouldn't just feel too timid in front of the camera team, they had already started thinking about the possibility you would be.

In such a case, a space for you to just bundle up and rest for a while without any worries or stress for you to endure would be key. They had to have that possibility for you; it was very important.

And therefore, after a short discussion about only the very minimal footage that would be taken in the den, and only if you all agreed and there would be permission to film, Sejin agreed, quickly writing himself a note to make sure to remember.

The packmembers didn't want you to get worried over the fact that your nest—something so visibly and obviously vulnerable to make and keep for omegas—would be shown to, frankly, to millions of strangers.

Soon, the documents have been signed after minor adjustments were made. Taking your hand in his, Jimin gently pulled you from the table, leading you to the doors after discussing a few things with Sejin and the other manager too.

„Come on, my princess, do you want to go home already? Or do you want to stay here for a little while longer?” The alpha asked you softly, both of his hands placed near your temples as he watched you fondly.

„Can w-we go home, please?” You whispered softly. You didn't really like the building too much. You were getting used to it now that you have been here for a longer time, but still, the many, unknown people passing by and giving you odd glances got to you a little.

Pecking your forehead gently, Jimin pulled you to himself for a few moments. „I'm sorry, my sweet precious baby, but alphas will have to stay in for a little while longer. I have to go to a dance practice, princess, but Taehyungie can take you home. How about that?”

Gently telling you, the older man watched how a small, obviously dissatisfied frown settled on your face. Giggling to himself, the alpha pecked the small scrunch formed between your eyebrows, smiling widely.

„O-okay, oppa...” You whispered, hoping to go home with all of them, but it was okay. They would get home eventually. When did you start calling the packhouse your home anyway?

Hugging you close to himself, Jimin let his soft scent linger on you. He was gentle and caring as he said his sweet goodbyes.

The other packmembers soon also left, a mingle of: „Stay close to Hyung Little Bunbun; Alpha will see you soon.; „Be a good little kitten for alpha."; „We will be home soon, Sunny-Bub, don't worry!” ringing through the hallway as Taehyung took your palm in his, leading you over to the entrance.

After you both got over to the lobby, with the alpha already calling one of their personal drivers, the man gently hugged you, sighing softly, his chin tucking your head under his face.

You were left in a small surprise, shocked at the blatant display of affection, even though you were both standing quite close to the reception desk.

Though the calm beta sitting behind the computer didn't pay either of you much mind, the gentle clicking noise of the keyboard was soft to your ears.

„What would you like to do, baby? It's only the afternoon still, sweetheart. We can go somewhere if you want." Taehyung asked you softly, smiling from ear to ear at how close you were to his scent gland.

Gently running his fingers through the very tips of your hair, the alpha kept his voice gentle, even though the naturally deep rumble was quite far from it.

„Okay, oppa,” you answered softly, breathing in his heavy scent. Happy that you agreed, the alpha's phone softly dinged, notifying you both that the driver was in front of the building.

Adjusting your coat for you, he found a mask in his pocket, helping you put yours on, smiling sweetly at you, and giggling softly. „You're adorable, my baby." He whispered gently, kissing your forehead in a quick peck.

Hiding most of his face himself, Taehyung adjusted his coat, taking your hand in his as he led you through the doors outside, the suddenly much colder air hitting you both like a tidal wave.

There was a black car right in front of the building, its engine running. Opening the back doors for you, the alpha gently helped you slide behind the passenger seat, bending over to adjust the seatbelt around you.

Smiling so widely you could see it in the alpha's eyes, he closed the doors gently, making sure the sound wouldn't be too harsh.

Sliding into the passenger seat next to the driver, the alpha buckled up himself, turning to you and checking if everything was okay. You were looking out of the car; the windows tinted for privacy.

Telling the driver to just take him to their packhouse for now, Tae looked through the available music and radio stations, though there wasn't really anything.

Sighing softly, the alpha hoped he could make the drive pleasant for you, but hopefully you would be okay. He prayed.

Their drivers, and mostly all of their security guards too, had to wear scent blockers so their scents wouldn't accidentally stick to the alpha's clothes.

They wouldn't necessarily mind, but it could be unsettling and agitating, and now that you were with them, it was even more important.

They could imagine you not liking the scent of another alpha on them or yourself, and so it was a good precaution to take.

The driver was quiet, not really striking up a conversation, only making sure to drive extra safely after Taehyung told him he needed to be careful with you in the car with them.

The vehicle stopped in front of the house, the engine turned on as the alpha climbed out of his seat, opening the doors for you before he helped you undo the seatbelt, seeing your fingers struggling.

„It's okay, babycheeks; Alpha will do it, sweet baby.” He whispered gently, his arms then wrapping around your waist, pulling you up to his chest.

He didn't let you stand on your own; the freshly fallen snow and the ice hidden underneath were worrying him on the inside too much to let that happen.

And so, the alpha gently pulled you closer to his body, helping you wrap your legs around his waist. Holding you close to himself, he softly chuckled at how close your face was to his scent gland. The slight tickle made him feel sweet.

Waving the driver off, the car soon backed out of the driveway. Taehyung took you to the packhouse entrance, putting in the long passcode and then using his key to unlock the door.

Switching on the lights, he sat you down on the floor carefully, shutting the doors behind you. „Come on, babycheeks, let's go rest for a little while.” He whispered gently, helping you untie the cute, fluffy boots they chose for you.

Setting them aside, the alpha hung your coat up before he quickly got rid of his own and his boots too. Seeing you waiting for him, a soft yawn escaped your lips had him smiling once again.

„Are you sleepy, baby? Aigoo... cute... Come on, let's go, babycheeks..." He said gently, picking you up once again, not letting you even have a chance to go on your own.

Taehyung walked you both over to the couch, too lazy to go upstairs to his room. Settling you on the sofa, he crawled next to you, laying behind you.

Pulling you close to his chest, the man gently let his chin and cheeks rub against your hair, his scent fully covering yours. You smiled a little, basking in the affection with your eyes closed.

He scented you for a few seconds, his lips occasionally meeting your cheek and forehead, but after he noticed you getting more and more sleepy and tired, he slowed down and rested himself.

Turning on the TV, he gave you the remote, letting you choose whichever movie or series you wanted to see.

Covering you both with a soft blanket, Taehyung let you rest against him, slight rumbles coming from his chest in content.

„Narnia? What a great choice, my sweet babycheeks! I haven't seen that in a long while...” The alpha whispered, pecking your temple as you rested your eyes. The noise turned on just quietly.

You found comfort in the movie, but since you were used to watching it in Japanese as your brother was obsessed with it when you were young, you never heard the Korean dubbing.

It sounded quite weird to you, but after you realised the dialogues really just stayed the same, you settled well, Taehyung's hands gently caressing your sides and arms, sweet and gentle.

You soon fell asleep—a nap that you didn't even know you needed comforting. When the alpha noticed you were in dreamland, he smiled widely, so happy you let him rest with you.

Having you close to himself while sleeping, he felt his deepest needs and wishes he didn't realise he even felt—until now—fullfill.

There was something so deeply satisfying for him, and honestly, for all of them, in having you let your vulnerable side fully out in front of them, leaving them to protect you and take care of everything while you napped.

There couldn't be much of a better feeling than this, the alpha realised, pulling you even closer.

Well, maybe if it were in the den. They seriously needed to get the room started, considering how much both they and you seemed to start to need it.

He could already imagine it so well—all of you falling asleep together in a soft, cuddled-up, warm mess, invited into your nest if you would let them.

They might not need the blankets to cover themselves with; after all, even though it was very cold this December, most of them slept with a summer duvet that was thin and not too heavy.

On the other hand, you had been carefully tucked away into many thick duvets, blankets, and pillows, the alphas making sure you wouldn't wake up from coldness.

Sometimes, when Namjoon would take them out on a camping trip, they would bring hammocks to sleep in.

In theory, they sounded quite comfortable and nice to lay around in; they were a lot less heavy too, so their backpacks wouldn't be that big and bulky.

But when it got to the aftermath of the sleep, most of them would have issues falling asleep in the night.

Sure, Yoongi or Jungkook did drop out within a few minutes; they are just naturally tired, and both could sleep anywhere. But he or Jin sometimes struggled with going to sleep.

And on that one trip, the one that they had this may, the nights were so unreasonably cold that it reminded him of late autumn weather.

During the day, it was more than fine; the occasional breeze was nice to feel as they would get too hot and sweaty otherwise throughout the hike, but as it got into the night, it wasn't that pretty.

They had sleeping bags and even brought the heavier ones, but still, not being able to sleep because of the cold wasn't that nice.

The packmembers wanted to take you camping; they might do it early this spring when it would get nicer out and would be possible, but a hammock was out of options for Taehyung.

The alpha didn't want you to grow cold during the night like he did. He wanted you to sleep comfortable, warm, and with no reason to worry; after all, they would take care of everything now.

He didn't want you to fall asleep because of pure exhaustion, like they would sometimes do in their earlier, more stressful years.

Tae knew that Namjoon would very happily plan a two-day trip for all of you, and while Yoongi would usually grumble and say how it's unreasonable and they could just stay home, the young alpha also knew that if you would look forward to it, which he could imagine you doing, Yoongi would not say a word.

The packmembers would bring a tent then, most likely, maybe two or three, so they wouldn't have to worry about the large space the giant one would take up.

Well, maybe you would like to sleep as a pack, and then they would carry it. But it was okay; that was only a small issue to worry about.

Taehyung knew he would keep you well warmed up during the night. It would be most convenient for all of you to bring sleeping bags, and so you wouldn't be able to truly cuddle during the night like you all might want to do.

But the alpha knew that if you would wake up during the night, the air too chilly and cold for you to rest properly, shivering with your lips blue, he wouldn't hesitate to zip you up into his own sleeping bag.

Just the thought of you being cold and uncomfortable had him hold you closer, his hands gently caressing your sides in gentle circles.

„My babycheeks, it's all good now...Alpha is here."

He whispered gently, more to calm himself, as his imagination felt too real for a moment there, the need to comfort you too strong.

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Next:

[riderofblackdragons]

The Red Means I'm A Fool

Day 28: Denial | CCTV | exposure | "they caught me red-handed"

Ok so I haven't posted anything in a few days, which is my bad. I haven't managed to write the other days, but I did manage to do this one, and I figured it'd be better if I just posted this one I've written instead of trying to wait until I've written the days I've missed.

Hope you enjoy!

The blood tripped from his hands, pooling onto the rugs on the floor. It covered his hands, staining them that deep awful red. It felt like he should be concerned about, but he didn’t feel anything. It was as though he was just floating along through space, with nothing to bother him.

Distantly, Fox heard voices. Their meeting must be over, then, and the next one coming in. How long had he stood there, blood on his hands, his mind a thousand years from where his body stood? The chancellor liked to have at least a half hour between their meetings and any others, even if it was just so he could ensure no one caught Fox limping back to his office.

It’d be such a fuss if the wrong person caught him, after all. And when even the senators under Palpatine’s thumb would use it against him in some way, every Senator was the wrong person. Even though Fox was just a clone.

People were getting closer, he distantly registered. He still hadn’t moved. Fox didn’t know why the chancellor was dead, what had been his breaking point, but he knew that it didn’t matter. He was a clone, and clones were to be used and thrown away.

He’d killed the chancellor, and if he didn’t move, he was going to be heading to his own death shortly afterwards.

He couldn’t bring himself to move, though. Fox’s hands wouldn’t even shake, nor would his legs even attempt to move from where he was standing. Kneeling. He couldn’t tell the difference, really. His limbs just wouldn’t move.

If he was lucky, he was just going to be decomissioned. Fox would still be dead, but at least his body wouldn’t still be walking around. He’d prefer to be decomissioned, instead of having his mind and personality taken from him, replaced by some meatdroid who wouldn’t even know his own name.

Fox was the head of the Coruscant Guard. They got the brunt of the reconditioned clones. He knew what they were like, especially compared to the reports of what they were like before it. He didn’t want the same for him, nor to put his men through the pain of seeing him like that.

Living, by itself, wasn’t on the table, though. Fox was here, the evidence of the crime still drying on his fingers, and the victim dead on the floor before him. And it didn’t look like he was going to be moving on his own power any time soon.

Especially not when his mind was fifty miles away, and he could hear the Red Guard outside arguing with someone about letting them in. He wondered if they thought something was wrong. The chancellor didn’t usually take this long to punish him, after all.

Later, Fox would realise the one thing he hadn’t taken into consideration: the Jedi. The Jedi had found him, mind far from home, standing over the chancellor, covered in evidence, and put him in their special jail. Left him there, whilst their healers and leaders tried to figure out what had gone wrong with him.

But they didn’t kill. The Jedi, as Fox had quickly learned, genuinely thought that both decommissionings and reconditionings were things of the past, as did their allies in the Senate. So they kept Fox locked away, instead, and claimed it was more humane.

It didn’t feel humane. Fox felt like he was back on Kamino, back to poking and prodding and waiting to see how he’d screwed up this time. Except that this time he knew what he’d done: he’d killed the chancellor, and they just wanted to know why.

Just the one thing that he didn’t know how to answer. It would be funny, Fox thought, if it wasn’t so annoying. The Jedi were asking all the wrong questions, the ones Fox didn’t quite know the answer too, but refused to ask him any of the right ones.

Fox wished that just once, they’d be able to ask him the right ones. But as he felt himself being pushed under, for the Jedi to have a look in his head, and try to remove any potential mind control in there, he knew they wouldn’t.

Besides, they’d explained what would happen to him if ther wasn’t any mind control in there. Fox didn’t know how to feel, really, about the Jedi having their own form of reconditioning.

He didn't think he liked it, though.

Tag List: @captain-effy @what-the-fuckis-happening @robininthelabyrinth

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[xmimi89er]

I MADE IT! It had been two days or so since the news, but I made it!

Goodness, I only had 42, if not less, time left and there was absolutely nothing. It was impossible to fix it, especially on a ridiculous amount of time. So, I prayed for a miracle. I asked for one because only a miracle could fix this—there was no way to get around it or over it and it just did not seem possible at all. AT ALL. But then, the miracle came!

A whole seven years worth of stress trying to get things together and fixed, it was done for in the matter of a press of a button. Or so I thought, for a little bit. You know when anger blinds you? Happiness did me, and I didn’t read what was sent to me that well that I forgot the last step in the whole thing.

And when did we realize that? Less than 16 hours (counting the night too) before I would have to sign up my leave.

And even crazier? I only had half an hour to get to the nearest machine before it closes to get my fingerprint done so I could get a digital ID. We reached the place and there was only a 20 minutes left. Logically, I could try to (maybe) wait until tomorrow very early in the morning, but it didn’t feel like it. It felt like I was on a very short period of time, and I had to hurry.

So many things stopped us on our way, funnily enough, but we made it.

I managed to sign myself up before the system closes by an only six minutes to spare.

Regardless of all of that, and how mind-blowing things could be and how I felt like I was going to burst a vein in me, we made it. We stopped the people that are fucking cruel.

This isn’t over, and I supposedly, as they worded it, “ran away from home” despite the fact I am no minor (and will be coming back). Not to mention what those people would do when they realize I have stopped them. They might just have a stroke and die—they will get angry, and while they cannot hurt me, it will still be a struggle to live with such an environment until I get a job. But that doesn’t matter, not that much.

What matters is that the impossible-to-fix, the threat over my head, is over. I will still have to endure things, but the worst is over, and that fills me to continue even more than before.

Look how the tables have turned. Funnily enough, I have fought with them the night before, and they swore that I will never get my way because, supposedly, I am the cruel one here. But no. Consequences exist. You don’t have to believe in heaven and hell and all of that, but the fact that the world spins is real, and every action has consequences. I will happily watch them fall apart piece by piece and, while I would heavily prefer being somewhere else, I will wait.

I remember writing the chapter “(Please!) A Miracle” from My Baby and thinking that, oh Sunny, I am asking for one too. Hehe.

A seven years problem is solved. Things may backfire and things normally change and never stay the same, but it is over. It stops now at 28 October, and hopefully it will be completed over soon after that.

Thank you to everyone who stayed around to check on me. To those online and in real life. It literally feels like nearing the end of a drama series, and ya all were the viewers. Good to have come to an end and to announce it. It would still take a bit before it gets all better, but it is nearing its death. I have won the key and no one can take it, now all I have to do is unlock the chains. Ain’t that cliché? But I am a writer I CANNOT HELP IT HEHE.

Anyway. Thank you so much, and I will keep updating this series of a life of mine! Take care >:D

[quietbluejay]

Horus Rising 7

the EC on the surface are also shading the Blood Angels

so there were reports about beetle-like aliens that they miiight need some help with if they showed up in larger numbers

after that, they asked for help lol

haha it's another horror movie setup

oooo spooky so Eidolon figures they'll be going in blind the guy from the Blood Angels fleet is like "hey maybe it'd be better to wait for the Luna Wolves to come so you can team up-" nope no way Eidolon is gonna share any glory "Eidolon had sanctioned the drop immediately"

Eidolon was a much more fun character in other books lol

time for a more detailed description of the megarachnids

i feel like arachnophobia in these circumstances is not an irrational fear [11:20 AM] the great crime they've currently committed against saul was messing up his chest aquila the great privilege that only the EC were allowed to wear i wonder if any of the 40k EC have opinions on that lol "they'll really just let anyone have that these days" anyways tarvitz does manage to kill it

there's art i do not understand why they included art in some of these novels or the choices they made for what to illustrate

so: in 90 hours they have 28 engagements with the megarachnids 7 dead so far (on their side)

hey let's put a pin in this one and bring it back when we get the reveal about the megarachnids oh yeah Lucius has a Special Sword and now he's dual wielding with the megarachnid leg in the other hand lucius is having a fun time and treating this as a game and not going for the kill even when he could well i mean they're both kinda treating it as a game just in different ways

lucius: we should take at least one alive and use it as a sparring partner saul: they're xenos, lucius lucius: they're the only things i've run across that actually test me saul: they're xenos, lucius i'm serious, that was literally his response twice in a row haha Tarvitz thinks upon the megarachnids and wonders if they have culture, science, language etc and why they're attacking the EC are they just bugs or are they sentient? in a rare moment of empathy he wonders if they're attacking because the EC are as alien and unsettling to them as the megarachnids are to the space marines tarvitz: ok! that's too much introspection for me!

saul and lucius are about as good friends as argel tal and kharn or perhaps i should say, as good at being friends

tarvitz internally: people are dying, lucius tarvitz externally: that's nice, lucius

oh someone has discovered an open area with no grass

they've finally found some traces of the blood angels there's a new storm that starts up three of the EC get struck by lightning haha including lucius lucius: cmon let's go back i wanna hunt others: yay! saul:….. saul: do whatever YOU want i'm going to go investigate this (it's a bunch of large white blobs) lucius: it's just more trees saul: but what if its not lucius: okay fiiiine

perhaps i did McNeill a disservice perhaps his writing of the Emperor's Children as being a bunch of petulant children was in fact, intentional …nah, he writes literally everyone like that in his early books also there's only 22 of them left at this point oh they get ambushed by more than 100 of the megarachnids lucius:

however, unlike McNeill, this book at least makes me buy that these guys have some level of actual competence in terms of tactics on the other hand tarvitz is the one commanding it, lucius doesn't care to command and just wants to fight and he's the one getting considered for promotion …. has abnett ever worked as a developer? this makes me feel like abnett worked as a developer

battle lasts about an hour, five more astartes die now that there's a pause/battle is kind of over it's time for something new and exciting

they're grabbing astartes and carrying them off lmao so we're down another 4 or 5 so there's 12-13 of them left now, i think lucius gets grabbed but saul manages to save him

you may now imagine lucius the eternal being carried off by a giant flying spider while writhing around trying to stab it

okay update: the flying spiders got nine astartes so we're down to 8 on the ground some up in the air are presumably still alive

there are also the remains of older bodies too they've finally found out what happened to the blood angels

honestly the whole setup on Murder is pretty neat giant evil spiders that are also shrikes or well ok they're not evil but they're sure menacing let's cut back to the Luna Wolves now on the trip over, Loken finds out that Sindermann is avoiding him he finally manages to ambush him in the library he's reading an old manuscript

sindermann used to read this kind of stuff when he was a kid loken: a better time? sindermann: lol no so the Warmaster "explained" things to him (re the Jubal thing) anyways he recommends the Chronicles of Ursh to Loken loken has a request

:) anyways loken is too caught up in getting ready to go to Murder to really think about things he's busy training his guys and picking replacements Loken opts to clean out the quarters of the dead men himself

yep jubal was a lodge member which loken susses out also, i believe this is the first appearance of "i can't say" exposition time

it comes back to Davin, huh that's wild re: fraternities being one step away from believing the Emperor was a god somehow i feel like that's not the actual reason the actual reasoning was probably more about not having astartes gathering in groups to do secret things which could lead to rebellion which. also happened. also w.r.t. them actually thinking rather than being living weapons, given a lot of the focus in this book though i don't think the emperor cares as much about that given the educational programme the Luna Wolves have and I mean, Ultramarines probably cared about it more during the Crusade

anyways loken forbid any of his men from taking part re: the Karkasy thing, Loken didn't really care about any random remembrancer but it was a distraction which is why he helped

heh

also he has to clear literally all of his writing by Loken scribbles, notes, etc Loken also wants an honest answer on what Karkasy said that got the troopers to beat him up

:) anyways flashback over, after leaving Sindermann, Loken goes to talk to Karkasy the remembrancers have basically taken over an entire area of the ship for their own "it had a grubby reputation" lol Karkasy gives Loken his notes as usual but he has something else for him - it's Euphrati's pictures she asked Karkasy to give Loken them and no, he doesn't know where she is Loken loves the pictures and gets a little emotional insofar as he ever does

Euphrati has been basically locking herself up in her room since the Jubal incident, Loken asks Karkasy to look after her aximand shows up while loken is training the newbies and notices his reading material which little horus apparently read as a kid (the chronicles of ursh) "vulgar, though" but he's got something more to discuss with loken a lodge coin

it's time for Horus (the little one, not the big one) to ask Loken to go to the lodge meeting with him i place small horus in attack position

he'll go, because it's Aximand who's the one asking

[umichenginabroad]

Stockholm Week 7: Travel Week 1

Hej igen! 

I had a bipolar week: the beginning of the week was full of presentations but the end of the week was full of laughter :) 

Let’s begin! 

2/28 Wed

It has been a while since I had two study trips in a day. I learned about the New Slussen Project, which is the reason for all the construction around Slussen. The planning behind the project was astoundingly complex and comprehensive, considering all social, environmental, and economic factors. 

Model of the new Slussen project design

The next study trip was a real guided tour based on the Swedish crime fiction novel, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. We walked around Monteliusvägen to Michael Blomkist’s apartment, the cafe where the movie was filmed, and viewpoints that showed the city at a glance. 

A picture of a gallery I peeked into before the field trip

The view was gorgeous. It's not too far from my apartment too!

When the tours were over, I stopped at the Coffee House and yapped with my friend for a bit before going home.

2/29 Thu 

Today was the big D-day: a 10-minute presentation on the case study done in my core course. I booked a room in DIS to practice until class. I ate my packed lunch and finished up my last touches. 

My messy hair ;-; The sun was out and I needed a break

Turns out the presentation was informal but I guess that was for the better. 

At home, I couldn’t rest as I had to prepare for my other presentation for Swedish and read half of a book for Crime Fiction class tomorrow. I made the mistake of reading in my bed and fell asleep eventually. 

3/1 Fri 

My team successfully finished the presentation and ate the pepparkakor that our teacher prepared for us. It is a thinner version of ginger cookies with a taste of Sweden. 

As a little treat after school, I ordered TooGoodToGo at an island I’ve never been to. It was such a smoggy and windy day (especially because the bridge I had to pass was near a huge lake) but I managed to arrive at the bakery in one piece. 

The bakery had so many cute chocolate pieces < 3

I caught up on my sleep for the rest of the day. 4 hours of nap before sleeping for real at night ;) 

3/2 Sat 

Finally, travel week 1 break began! My family came to visit Stockholm while I was here. We had no specific plans in mind, so we spontaneously decided on places to go. We left Airbnb at 5:30 pm when the sun was all set (...) but we still had a good time walking around T-Centralen and Gamla Stan. 

It was nice seeing my family again < 3

3/3 Sun 

We had a slow morning but made it out of our house by 1 pm. 

Our first stop was Gamla Stan since we could not see anything in the dark yesterday. I took them to the main photo spots first. 

Happy happy happy '◡ '

If you remember this place from my prior posts, you're a real one < 3

My dad then led the way to Stockholm’s narrowest street, Mårten Trotzigs gränd. It is only 90 cm (~35 in) wide. 

I took some great snapshots for my brother 

From far away, we saw a commuter ferry departing and abruptly decided to take it. We ran and ran and ran to make it in the departure time. We found out where we were headed once the ferry steered toward the temporarily closed amusement park on Djurgården Island. I felt like I hadn’t been on impromptu journeys for ages, so this kind of random traveling brought me so much joy! The island was bigger than we thought, and it was then that my dad discovered something from the map. The island we were on was the island with the Vasa museum! On the subway to Gamla Stan earlier on, we had made a plan to go to visit the Vasa museum later today. Without a clue, the ferry took us to the right place at the right time. We were so amazed and couldn’t stop talking about it for a good hour (and now I’m writing it on my blog post). 

Since we were there already, we went to the Vasa museum. It is a popular museum with a restored ship that sank back in the 1600s and recovered after 333 years, in the 1900s. I was impressed by the grand size of the ship and the salvage operation.

I still can't believe this magnificent yet delicate ship sunk 10 minutes after its departure

We took a thorough scan of the six floors and finally left when we were satisfied. A beautiful sunset was awaiting us outside. 

Swan couple < 3

This time, we took a tram to go back to Gamla Stan for fika. Fika and Wine was our first destination. We ordered Swedish meatballs and shrimp salad as our main dishes, as well as delicious desserts with coffee. 

Can’t describe the deliciousness in words < 3

For the rest of the evening, we enjoyed Gamla Stan with street lights on, going into souvenir shops one after another like real tourists. 

I loved the owls in this store but my wallet said no to all of them :(

The past few days have been relaxing, and I can’t wait to spend more time with my family :)  They are wonderful photographers (as you can see from the pictures in this post) so I'll have tons of more photos to share in the following days. Good pictures always brighten my day <3

I will let you know all about the rest of my break next week! 

Tack, 

Jiwoo Kim 

Chemical Engineering

DIS Study Abroad in Stockholm, Sweden

[tanushakyrano]

febuwhump day 28: 'you're safe now.'

tis march!!!!! happy march!!!!! i finally got this written!!!

I also just wanted to say thank you for all of the amazing comments and reblogs and likes I've received over the challenge. it's been so so wonderful to see the response to each day and know that people are out there enjoying my writing, which just. absolutely amazes me. you guys are all so kind!!!! thank you!!!!!

characters: Scott, John, Virgil, Gordon, Alan, Penelope, Kayo, Parker

additional warnings: violence, injury, kidnapping, blood, guns (tranqs)

_______________

“We’ll find him, Scott.”

Scott nodded jerkily, leaning back in his chair and pinching his brow with trembling fingers. “God, I hope we do, Virgil.”

Usually his hands were incredibly steady. The hands of any first responder had to be, with the precision that was so often needed on the job. And Scott wasn’t just any first responder, he was the pilot of Thunderbird One; she was a powerful and temperamental craft, requiring the utmost dexterity of her pilot - and there was no one who could fly her better than him. There was no way he could be as good as he was if his hands turned traitor on him every five seconds. 

And yet here he was. Just under seven hours since Alan had gone missing, and in that time his hands had barely stopped shaking - a combination of stress, the back-to-back rescues he'd just been on before it had happened, and the sheer terror that his little brother was somewhere out there, seriously injured or worse. Luckily, a marginally better-rested Virgil was flying, with Gordon as co-pilot, and he was relegated to the passenger seat. Scott laced his fingers together to try and hide the tremor and leant forward in his chair.

"Any new information, John?"

He was grasping at straws, he knew. John would update them immediately if there were any changes to Alan's status at all. Still.

Sure enough, when a miniature hologram of his brother popped up, he was shaking his head. "Kayo and Lady P are scouting out the place right now. They’ll update me soon, but for now we’ve just got to wait.”

Yeah. That was the part Scott struggled with. Waiting.

He sat back and let his head fall back against the headrest.

Alan hadn’t even been on duty. That was the worst part. The kid had just wanted to go out and meet a friend - Conrad, from the space transit terminal incident, who had been given leave for a few weeks and who was apparently now on very good terms with Alan. Scott hadn’t realised that had happened, but the fact that Alan had people he was on good terms with outside their tiny social circle was excellent, and so he’d been happy to let them hang out. They’d decided to meet up in London. The thought of Alan alone halfway across the world had made Scott… unsettled, so Kayo had agreed to stay in the area to keep a discreet eye on the pair of them in addition to Penny, who was also in London for business. It felt distinctly paranoid, having two professional agents essentially babysitting two perfectly capable teenagers, but he’d learned that it was better to be safe than sorry thanks to years of being accosted by the public, being ambushed by paparazzi, and surviving attempted kidnappings. Preparing for the worst was by far the safest option.

When they received a frantic call from Conrad telling them Alan had been dragged off by two burly men in nondescript outfits and balaclavas, his paranoia was affirmed.

Seven hours later and they’d managed to track him to an industrial complex near the south-east coast of the country. Penelope and Parker were first on site - quickly joined by Kayo, who flew ahead from Tracy Island where she’d returned after coming up empty-handed in London. The plan was that he, Virgil and Gordon would join them in infiltrating the building. Strength in numbers and all that. 

Also, they'd all outright refused to stand by and do nothing while their baby brother was held captive by some faceless criminal gang.

“Alan’s definitely in the building,” John affirmed, breaking the silence and startling Gordon so much that he had to steady himself against the controls. “There are at least thirteen other life signs - but the good news is we know exactly where they are in relation to Alan, so I’ll be able to guide you on a route that steers as clear of confrontation as possible.”

“Yeah. Great,” Gordon muttered, voice dripping with sarcasm. Scott caught the minute tightening of his fist. “You know, I wouldn’t mind the chance to beat some of those fuckers up-”

“That’s the GDF’s job,” Scott reminded him. Gordon huffed. “Look, I’m not saying these guys don’t deserve it, but we’ll call in Colonel Casey, make sure they all wind up in jail for a good while. It isn’t our job to deal out justice.”

“Well, if they end up getting in my way, I’m not exactly gonna sit down with them for a tea party.”

“I don’t expect you to.” Scott sighed. “We’re just avoiding violence for the sake of it. I don’t want any of you getting hurt.”

He kept quiet about just how much he agreed with Gordon. The thought of anyone laying a finger on their little brother made his blood boil in the most awful way. If they ran into anyone, he wasn’t sure what would stop him from beating the guy to a bloody pulp.

A shift in Two’s engines pulled them out of their conversation. Scott rose from his seat and leant between Virgil and Gordon, looking out of the windscreen at the sprawl of buildings laid out in the distance.

“I’m landing us further away from the building,” Virgil informed him as his hands glossed over the controls, “to make sure we don’t let them know we’re coming. John can fly her closer if needs be.” If something goes wrong.

Scott nodded. "FAB.”

_______________

It was a bit of a trek to the site, silent and as tense as taut guitar strings. Scott and Gordon had been equipped with guns - loaded with tranqs, of course, not bullets, but the thing was weighted and heavy in his hand, threatening to draw him back into long-buried memories of blue uniforms and military cockpits and rocky mountains in Eastern Europe. He focused on planting one foot in front of the other, and choked down the lump that threatened to form in his throat.

Penelope, Parker and Kayo met them where FAB1 and Shadow were parked. Gone were Penelope’s pink heels and Parisian haute couture, replaced with sleek black boots and a streamlined jacket as dark as night. A gun holster decorated her right side, a gleaming knife kept sheathed on her left. Parker was similarly armed. Virgil eyed the weapons warily. Kayo wore her usual teal flightsuit, but her twin stuns crackled and sparked at her wrists.

“Kayo and I will be taking the lead as we head in,” Penelope said briskly. “John will be guiding us from Five. Scott, Gordon, you’ve had military training, so you should know what to expect. Virgil, just try to stay out of trouble and let us handle any… situations that may arise. We’re aiming to get in, attract as little attention as possible, find Alan and get out - preferably without anyone raising the alarm. As far as we can tell, this has nothing to do with the Hood, but these people are still dangerous. Be on your guard. Everyone clear?"

She looked round at the group for confirmation. When they all nodded, she squared her shoulders, pulling the pistol from its holster. “Then the mission is a go.”

Scott took a deep breath, and fell into line behind Virgil.

John must have been working to disable their systems from the inside, because they made it through the outer doors without a hitch. The corridors were long and empty, hollow and cold, decorated only with valves and pipes and wires with faded plastic coverings.They ducked through a door labelled MAINTENANCE a few dozen metres along from the entrance.

The facility was just as sprawling inside as it had appeared from the sky. Scott had a pretty decent sense of direction, but he soon lost track of the lefts and rights they took as they crept from shadow to shadow, staying low and keeping in constant motion. Penelope, Parker and Kayo formed a ruthlessly efficient team. They almost seemed to have some kind of psychic connection, so perfectly in tune they were with each other and their surroundings. Between them and John's whispered instructions, their group managed to steer clear of trouble for an impressive amount of time.

But their luck had to run out at some point. Kayo rounded a corner as John inhaled sharply, the warning on his lips coming too late, and a six-foot-five giant swung a right hook that would have taken her head off if she hadn't leapt backwards and out of range at the last second.

Scott raised his tranq, ready to floor the brute with a dart to the neck, but someone else beat him to it. The classic Parker Haymaker landed solidly, sending the man staggering, and Parker swiftly followed it with a kick that sent him the rest of the way to the ground. Penelope hit him with a tranq of her own for good measure.

Scott knew that their luck had well and truly run out when yet another punch came out of nowhere, rattling his brain inside its skull and blurring his vision.

There was a second goon. Of course there was.

Scott tried to dodge the second blow he knew was coming, but he could barely tell which was was up, let alone which direction an attack would come from. Someone grabbed his arm and yanked him towards them - he had no idea who it was - he tried to shake them off, but their grip was unrelenting. A grunt of pain sounded somewhere to his left. A body hit the floor with a thud.

He blinked the stars from his eyes. Virgil was staring back at him concernedly, gently tilting his head to examine the spot where the guy had clocked him. "You okay?" he asked worriedly.

"I'm fine." Scott shook him off, turning to where Gordon was standing over a crumpled figure, chest rising and falling rapidly, tranq in hand. "Thanks for the save," he said quietly. 

"Any time." Gordon gripped the tranq tightly. "We should get going again."

Virgil frowned. "Scott needs a minute-"

"Gordon's right," Kayo interrupted. "We need to find Alan and get out as quickly as possible. We're too vulnerable here."

"Fine. But I need to keep an eye on him." Virgil lowered his voice, resting a hand on Scott's arm. "Tell me if you start experiencing any symptoms, okay?"

"Okay," he said, lying through his teeth.

They pressed on.

_________________

Scott was just about ready to punch straight through the walls to reach Alan by the time John told them that they were close. His head was pounding and his stomach was churning, but he focused on the passages in front of him and the cold metal of the gun in his hands. The same-ness of the corridors was starting to drive him a little crazy.

"There's only one guard outside the room Alan's in," John informed them, voice taut with anxiety. "Should be easy enough to take them down."

Kayo and Penelope were at the door in a blink (though time was getting murkier, so in truth it could have just been Scott's mind refusing to process his surroundings), Penelope wrapping the guard in a chokehold and guiding their body to the ground soundlessly. They checked the corridor both ways before beckoning the rest of them forward. Parker remained where he was as a lookout. Penelope crouched down to pick the lock as Scott stumbled to a stop at her side.

"Oh, damn it-" Penelope cursed as the lockpick broke in her hands. The last drop of patience Scott had trickled away.

"Move," he growled, and Penny ducked out of the way as he slammed his body into the door. The hinges groaned, but it didn't give, so he slammed into it again, and again, and on the fourth try the door burst open and he half fell, half ran into the room, not coming to a stop until Alan was in his arms.

"Hey- hey, it's okay. It's okay, Alan. I'm here."

Alan clung to him so tightly that he could barely breathe, but Scott didn't care. The kid was trembling like a leaf and his fingers dug into Scott's back even through the tough fabric of his suit. He carded a steady hand through Alan's hair, sticky in some places with blood, the other wrapped around him. Even though he was almost eighteen, he still seemed so young. Not small, really, but gangly, a tangle of limbs that he had yet to grow into. Not a child any more, and not an adult, but the strange in-between stage that heralded the closing of this chapter of his life and an end of a time that Scott wasn't ready to let go of yet.

"We're getting you out of here, okay? We're going home."

Alan pulled back slightly to look up at him. Blood tracked its way down half of his face from a nasty gash on his temple. Scott cursed every person involved in the stupid operation a thousand times over. Half a syllable stuttered from Alan's lips as he tried to form words.

"Hurts.."

"I know. I know, Allie, I'm sorry." Scott pressed a kiss to his forehead. "I'm so sorry. But you're safe now, I promise. We're going home now."

[saints-who-never-existed]

Rereading The Terror

Chapter Thirty-Four: Crozier

Hauling the last of the sledges to land is even more arduous in the book than it is in the show. The most they can manage is nine miles a day and often a lot lot less than that depending on weather conditions. Le Vesconte tried to lead a previous party into a storm and - god love him - made less than a mile in 12 hours. I have helpfully written 'FAIL SON' next to this titbit.

Crozier ruminates again on his options as he's hauling, concluding that Bridgens was absolutely right in the end (YASS! VINDICATION!). Crozier would have much much preferred to put everything into hauling ass to Fury Beach. It would still be a difficult decision - a safer route but a longer one at 1,200 (!) miles - but the Rosses already showed all those years before that it was possible...just...

Crozier also reasons that they'd be much more likely to run into Netsilik peoples in that direction who would support them or at the very least teach them to hunt better. Lady Silence has not yet chosen to help them in that regard - charmingly, Crozier apparently contemplated threatening her with a gun or knife to get her to comply. Ugh.

Then he gets to thinking about the light weight and design of Netsilik sleds and reminisces about the contests held to encourage the men as they learned how best to haul. On the cash prizes offered at such contests: "They were competing for cash - silver and gold - and even though Sir John had planned to buy many souvenirs in Alaska, Russia, the Orient, and the Sandwich Isles and there were chests of shillings and guineas in the dead man's private storeroom, these coins came out of Francis Crozier's pocket."

Interestingly, they actually did outfit a mission to see just how possible a mad dash to Fury Beach would be. "It was an eleven-man sledge, headed by Erebus second mate Charles Frederick Des Voeux, its lead puller the giant Manson. Each of the other nine men were asked to volunteer. Each man did." (Sidenote: is it still volunteering if you're asked to do it?)

The mission does not go well. They're gone three weeks, only managing 28 miles as the crow flies and nearly getting lost on the way back despite Des Voeux being described as the finest navigator on the Expedition ("You deserve a prize for your orienteering, Mr Des Voeux!" anyone?)

What's worse, Erebus is crushed and sunk by the time they return. The Erebites, including Des Voeux, weep as they're led past what's left of it sticking up out of the ice. The ships are home and now they can never go home again...

Back in the present, they pass by a spooky and perfectly-circular hole in the ice that was never there before. As usual, Blanky is a legend about it: ""We could take our dinner here," said Thomas Blanky. "Enjoy our victuals by the seaside, as it were." Jokes aside, they all recognise it for what it is - a sign that Tuunbaq is following them and rapidly closing the gap...!

[paris-geller-was-straightwashed]

February Writing Challenge (2/28)

day two! *ringing cowbell* give it up for day two!!

let’s hope I can keep this up.

Prompt: ‘Kiss’

Pairing: Jackie/Elora (Reservation Dogs)

Words: 1,998

Rating: T (not for content, just for canon-typical language)

Notes: I just love this ship your honour. I wanted to do some sweet, fluffy scenarios of giddy, nervous first kisses with your crush who you like so much - stupid, fun teenager stuff basically - but not at the same time, make it so fluffy that it doesn’t match with the actual vibe of the characters and comes of as OOC. I hope I found a good mix!

Jackie was sure she knew more about skydiving then she did about dating.

Especially first dates. The right places to go, the right things to say – fuck, she spent half an hour the day before just trying to find the right shirt to wear out! It’s stupid. Most of the time, she couldn’t give a shit what she looked like.

Not with Elora, though.

She was going fuckin’ soft, is what it was. The way that shiver ran up her spine when their shoulders brushed. How her palms sweated at the thought of wrapping Elora’s hand in hers. The fact that she actually let Elora beat her at her favourite game of air hockey, just because that pure elated smile jumping over her face meant more to Jackie then anything else.

Her brother would be taking the absolute shit our of her right now, if he could see her like this.

It was their old stomping ground they went to, actually, the games arcade her and Micah used to waste any spare coins on. Jackie ended up suggesting it to Elora, because, frankly, she’d failed to think up any other solution to a ‘first date’ and really, she thinks Elora was just as eager to get off the rez and into town.

It worked out in her favour though. The evening hours flew by, spending it battling out behind the toy wheels of racing games or over the foosball table, betting each other who could score the most in a row over at the basketball hoops (Jackie did manage to win that one). Elora tried to claim that she clearly had had enough practice to learn how to cheat, a smile threatening over her lips. Jackie rolled her eyes in return.

“Yeah yeah, I could still smoke you if you wanna go a second round – but it’s probably ‘cause you’re standing, like, a fuckin’ mile away from the hoop. You gotta, like, centre yourself better..

She barely saw the way Elora eyed her as she gestured at the dark-haired girls’ stance – and the faint glint of mirth that sparked in those deep brown eyes. Another smile flicked over her face.

What, are you gunna like..pull a Patrick Swayze to show me or somethin’?..

The off-handed line caused Jackie to stutter. Did Elora really just pull that coy, I’m-only-partially-joking line out of her fucking back pocket?? Quiet, serious, carrying-the-world-on-her-shoulders Elora Danan?

Heart hammering in her throat, Jackie dared to take a dive and gently placed her hands on both of Elora’s elbows to direct her. Elora easily followed the careful pull as Jackie re-centred her, the blonde all-too aware of how close she hung off her shoulder, so when the beat-up basketball flew through the air, it sailed through the basket.

The night starting to encroach with a heavy blue evening sky hanging over, they were headed home. Sipping on their king-size slurpees and chuckling over Elora’s story of how Bear’s mom once did actually dress him up in a bear costume for Halloween when he was five, no one wanted to admit that the night was ending – but they couldn’t live in the arcade forever, and Jackie had promised her aunt she’d have her car back by nine, and she didn’t have a single doubt that if she was even a minute behind that woman would hunt her down.

The problem with the night closing in, is that Jackie had no fucking idea how to end it.

She did the proper thing of dropping Elora off at her home, even walking her to the door. Now they stood at the cement front steps, the soft yellow of the overhead light enveloped around them, pulling them in to the circle of light so it felt as if the world was just the two of them. They both took their time, drawing each ticking second out, the giddy nervousness becoming thicker in the air. They fidgeted on the steps, a little too nervous to look the other in the eye.

“..So, uh, I..” Jackie tried to form a sentence after the deafening silence became too much “I guess uh..I guess that’s our time..”

She tried to just shrug it off, play it cool, and instead it came out way too fucking awkward. Fuck. Elora glanced back at her from where she stood before the faded front door.

“Yeah..I guess..” She echoed, as if dusted with disappointment “But, hey..um..Jackie..”

Jackie perked up with a sudden ugly twist in her stomach. The words that followed that kind of sentence, could either be golden or totally catastrophic.

Fuck I fucked it up I knew I’d fuck it up –

“I just..wanted to say how much fun I had.” Elora was smiling, that rare light shining off her “Like..the most fun in a long time..”

Shit. Jackie could’ve been struck by lightening then and there and she wouldn’t have even been mad. Elora smiling at her saying this – that was the best damn thing since she arrived in this dump of a town.

“For real?..” She asked softly, her own smile threatening to break out.

“Yeah..” Elora confirmed, a pink bloom rising over her cheeks that was far too adorable, resorting to jokingly shoving Jackie in the shoulder “Just fuckin’ take the win..”

Jackie chuckled, hearing laughter in return. The silence crept back on, but it wasn’t as scary as before. She tried not to teeter back on her heels, fists she’d shoved in her pants pockets clenching.

Just do it do it don’t be a little bitch do it –

“Cool. So, um..I...” in the end, Jackie sort of admitted defeat, head ducking down as she rubbed the back of her neck “I uh...I don’t really know..how to end these..”

“What makes you think I know?” Elora raised a brow in return, shuffling with the same nerves “I think, I mean – from what I’ve heard or whatever – there’s usually...you know..”

The terrifying, exhilarating word lay out in the air, unspoken. Jackie nodded a bit too fast, trying to swallow though her thick throat.

“Right. Yeah. I mean..we uh...just ‘cause everyone else does that or whatever doesn’t mean..– I mean, if you don’t want to..–”

“You don’t want to kiss me?” Elora broke in, her brow rising even higher. Jackie’s eyes nearly popped out.

“No! Fuck, I mean – yes! Shit, I-I just, I do, I didn’t wanna force you –”

Gentle chuckling abruptly cut her off. Elora was smiling again, eyes sparkling.

“I’m just fucking with you.”

Jackie slumped, her eyes squeezing shut in realization. Part of her wants to be mad at the heart attack she nearly had – the other part of her...had to admit that was a pretty good one. A smile started cracking over her lips.

“Fuck you too..” She muttered. Elora giggled again. “Thing is..I..”

“Look, Jackie..” the blonde re-centred herself to Elora’s warm expression, finding an almost nervous vulnerability “You’re tripping yourself up; stop sweating it. I had a good time hanging out, okay?..”

Jackie would say she was more then ‘tripping herself up’ at this rate. But Elora had a point. She nodded again, quicker, to shake off her nerves.

“Right. I’ll uh..I’ll see you tomorrow then?..”

Pussy.

Amazing how her inner voice sounded somewhat exactly like her brother’s...

Jackie tried to ignore it, but couldn’t completely. Because she was wussing out. Simply wishing her date goodnight and trotting off the steps, well, seemed rather lacklustre. She liked Elora a lot. This isn’t how she wanted to leave the whole thing by just kind of shoving it aside.

At the same time, she had no idea what the fuck to do. Messing it up felt like an even worse outcome then taking the cowards way out. If Elora had enjoyed the date, then maybe she should simply leave it at that.

Right?

Stop being a little bitch about it –

“Yeah..”

Elora’s voice brought her back to reality again. The dark-haired girl had now backed up to the door to lean against it, hand pressing down on the handle, hovering on her exit. She was still smiling back at Jackie, but, it was different. It didn’t have the same light, and Jackie quickly read, like a punch to the gut, the disappointment in it.

“I’ll uh..see you later..”

That was all the invitation Jackie needed to leave – instead she hovered. Partially perched on the final front doorstep, partially twisted towards where Elora was standing. Seconds slowed. Jackie felt like she was tearing in two, and didn’t want to leave Elora who was quietly pulling away like this.

She just didn’t want to mess this up and she liked her so much and she hadn’t even done this before and –

Fuck it.

Jackie suddenly jumped back up the step, rushing her way back to Elora. She barely had time to recognize the dark eyes drawing wide, before, almost as if all on it’s own, her hand effortlessly slipped around Elora’s waist to hold her in place and then her lips were over the pink ones.

Just like that.

It wasn’t like Jackie had anything to compare it to but holy shit. It was so soft. So soft she felt like she could’ve dropped to her fucking knees. Elora had initially frozen up, but before Jackie could worry about it, that tentative nature came out as she carefully moved her lips to kiss back.

The whole world slowed. Jackie could hear her heart beating out of control in her ears, and Elora’s soft breaths. Elora tasted like cherry – that bright, bursting red from her slurpee, that Jackie saw had coated her tongue when she caught Elora laughing – and, faintly, the remaining stickiness of vanilla chapstick at the corner of her mouth. It was everything more then she’d been imagining.

Fuck, I like her so much. Fuckfuckfuckfuck –

Jackie pulled away. Mostly, for air. She did her best to do it slowly, steadying them. Her eyes fluttered open – and they immediately found Elora’s big, soft brown ones. She looked about as dazed as Jackie felt. And as wonderfully so. They both could only stand there, breathing heavy, lips still hovering so close all it would take was one of them crossing the couple inches and give in again.

Fuck I gotta say something, crap –

“I..I’m..I just..” nothing was coming out, her words so jumbled it might as well be fucking alphabet soup in her brain, that her anxiety just bit down on the first comprehensible word “.....Bye.”

She spun, rushing with as much speed back down the porch steps and to the car. Elora was left there, trying to come back to reality – and smiling. Half from the kiss, and the other half because she could hear Jackie angrily hissing to herself as she scrambled to the car

“Fuck fuck what the fuck was that you asshole jesus shit –”

Jackie ripped open the car door, sitting back and smacking her palms into her forehead. She couldn’t believe herself.

What a way to both kiss the girl and run away at the same time.

She wasn’t sure how long she sat there wallowing, the porch light off and the door closed to Elora’s house. The thing that pulled her out was the sudden buzz of her phone, lighting up with a text.

Sure it was her aunt yell-texting her to hurry up and bring the car home, Jackie felt her heart knot in her throat when she saw Elora’s name.

[Elora] just so u kno, I’m game to try that a 2nd time

[Elora} as long as you don’t run away again.

[Elora] luckily I like the taste of blue raspberry.

Jackie blinked back. Then she flicked her gaze to her own slurpee cup in the holster, the battery-acid blue liquid still sloshing around in the bottom. A grin grew over her. She brought her fingers to her lips, gently, finding the sticky trace of chapstick.

She wasn’t sure how she’d make it till tomorrow without thinking about getting to kiss Elora Danan all over again.

[timeoverload]

I didn't want to do anything over the weekend because I was tired. I'm sorry for not posting as much but I just wasn't in the mood to scroll through tumblr or spend hours writing. Honestly I just wanted to play video games because I don't get time to do stuff like that during the week usually. I wanted to continue watching the show I started last Sunday but I didn't end up doing that. I talked to my grandma on the phone for a while yesterday but that almost always makes me depressed because she is so unhappy and I wish I could do more for her. I wish I had the energy to clean but I felt like death but that's nothing new. I don't know if my room will ever be clean again at this rate. I have a hard time living my life mostly in one room. I'm starting to think I need a storage unit for all the shit I'm not using. I really miss having my own walk in closet. Eventually I will get my shit together.

I'm not a fan of Mondays and it was a long day as usual. I was supposed to only have 28 cases but then I had 3 add-ons throughout the day. I had 3 rooms going for a while so that wasn't super fun.

I was trying so hard to be in a good mood. Apparently I wasn't trying hard enough because I had multiple people ask why I was in a bad mood. That just made it worse.

The morning team lead asked me that shortly after he spent like 10 minutes giving me a lecture about training the lady that works at night. He was lecturing me while I was still setting up for the day and he can't keep it short whenever he has a conversation with anyone. I had a lot to do and I was scrambling before he even started to talk to me. He was trying to tell me I needed to come in later on Wednesday and Thursday so I could train but I know that's not going to be necessary because it's not going to take me very long to show her what I need her to do. That's not his decision to make and it will also make it more stressful for me in the morning. He has to repeat himself and talk to me like I don't know how to train people. I had to take a class to do that and I'm still a preceptor even though I don't do it that often anymore because I don't have a ton of patience left for that but it's justified. Unfortunately I had some very bad trainees in the past but that's a long story. I suppose there have been a lot of good ones too so I can't complain too much. Anyway, he and I have been getting along better recently but he still drives me crazy sometimes. I think he scared the 2 new people away with his antics. He loves to talk about how he is against everything being "politically correct". Whenever I hear people say that, it makes me think that they think it should be ok to be a disrespectful asshole without facing any consequences. It pisses me off and I have to bite my tongue a lot.

I was annoyed at lunch because I just wanted to eat and have 30 minutes by myself but that didn't happen. I wanted to sit and eat in the cafeteria because it's a lot easier than trying to eat in the locker room. It was great until that creepy guy showed up and sat down across from me. His shift didn't even start until noon so I don't understand why he showed up so early. He left me alone for a while but he has been trying to talk to me more again and flirt with me in an indirect way so he doesn't get in trouble. He can't seem to take a hint. He also bought me and a couple other single girls chocolate for valentines day. It was weird and of course he didn't get enough for everyone else. Unfortunately he still works up in my department sometimes even though he was supposed to start working in the basement full time in January. I made it a point to let management know that he makes me uncomfortable but nothing has changed. They aren't going to do anything about it unless he does something really bad I guess. I know he has a bad temper and I'm afraid he is going to snap sometime. It makes me uneasy and I need to try harder to stay away from him. I guess I have to start eating lunch in the locker room or in the stairwell again.

I didn't get to leave until 6:30 because I had to wait for the last 2 cases to get done and I had to train. I have a pile of stuff on my station that I'm going to have to sterilize in the morning because I didn't have time to do that. I'm not looking forward to that but I need to stop thinking about work now.

I didn't realize that my next appointment is on a Wednesday again. I'm lucky that I actually have enough PTO this time so I requested the 20th and the 21st off. Hopefully that will get approved.

I was looking forward to sleeping in a little bit Friday morning but that's not going to happen because I have a dentist appointment. I forgot about it. I don't know why I always make such early appointments but I guess it's nice to get it out of the way so I don't worry about it the whole day.

I don't want to do anything right now. It's hard to move. I have to get up and feed the cats soon. I don't think I want to eat dinner tonight because I had too much for lunch and it made me feel gross. I feel like I gained weight over the weekend but I was stress eating so that makes sense. I also didn't go grocery shopping so I don't have much food left. I need to try to relax now and hopefully I can fall asleep at a decent time.

Thanks to everyone that tried to cheer me up today. I hope you all have a great day tomorrow!!! :) 💖💖💖

[honmyoseagull]

WHUMPTOBER 2023 MASTERLIST

DARK REIGN BULLSNIKT: HISTORY OF A RELATIONSHIP FROM BEGINNING TO END. (INDIVIDUAL LINKS TO AO3 IN THE TITLES)

PART 1, prompts 1 to 8

SHOCK VALUE

The courtship started in an explosive way. Then comes the first date. Obviously, this is Daken and Bullseye, so don't expect rainbow and roses. More like torture and constant denial. And maybe the tiniest bit of longing.

No. 1: Safety Net | Swooning | “How many fingers am I holding up?”

No. 2: “I’ll call out your name, but you won’t call back.” Thermometer | Delirium | “They don't care about you.”

No. 3: “Like crying out in empty rooms; with no-one there except the moon.” “Make it stop.”

No. 4: “I see the danger, It’s written there in your eyes.” Shock | “You in there?”

No. 5: “You better pray I don't get up this time around.” Debris | Pinned Down | “It's broken.”

No. 6: “Do or die, you’ll never make me; Because the world will never take my heart.” Made to Watch | “It should have been me.”

No. 7: " “I paced around for hours on empty; I jumped at the slightest of sounds.” Radio Silence |

No. 8: “I’ve got soul, but I’m not a soldier.” Overcrowded ER | Outnumbered

PART 2, prompts 9 to 16

NOTHING PERSONAL

Fighting together (or against each other) is easy. Fucking, they learn to manage. Kinda. Since this is Daken and Bullseye we're talking about, they're rubbish at dealing with their feelings, though. And the more they run from them, the more it hurts. Literally. Also, it wasn't what they had planned with their day, this 'Meet the Family' thing.

No. 9: “Learning everything ain't what it seems, that's the thing about these days.” Polaroid | Mistaken Identity | “You're a liar.”

No. 10: “Can’t you see that you’re lost without me?” Broken Phone | Stranded | “You said you'd never leave.”

No. 11: Animal trap | Captivity | “No one will find you.”

No. 12: “I haven't slept in days but who's counting?” Red | Insomnia | “I’m up, I’m up.”

No. 13: Cold Compress | Infection | “I don’t feel so good.”

No. 14: “Feed me poison, fill me ‘till I drown.” Water Inhalation | “Just hold on.”

No. 15: Makeshift Bandages | Suppressed Suffering | “I’m fine.”

No. 16: “Would you lie with me and just forget the world?” Gurney | Flatline

PART 3, prompts 17 to 24

FOR OLD TIME'S SAKE

A learning curve. Dealing with blasts of the past. Blasting the past. Again. Learning to be two. They are who they are, they work (mostly) and they rock. (Even if the ground they tango on is rocky.) Now, if ghosts could stop crawling out of the woodwork, that would be nice.

No. 17: “You’re the lump in my throat and the knot in my chest.” Touch Aversion | “Leave me alone.”

No. 18: “Hit them harder.”

No. 19: Floral Bouquet (of tea (a)) | Psychological | “I’m not as stupid as you think I am.”

No. 20: Blanket | Found Family | “You will regret touching them.”

No. 21: “See the chains around my feet.” Restraints

No. 22: “They never saw us coming, ‘til they hit the floor.” Glass Shard | Vehicular Accident | “Watch out!”

No. 23: “It’s gonna get me by the end of the night.” Shadows | Stalking | “Who’s there?”

No. 24: “I’ve got a head full of chemicals; mouth full of ridicule.” Goodbye Note | Neglect | “I thought they were with you.”

PART 4, prompts 25 to 31

BREAKING EVEN

They need each other more than ever. Are ready to give and take more than ever. And yet, they still crack at the seams.

No. 25: “You’re not delivering a perfect body to the grave.” Storm | Buried Alive | “They’re not breathing!”

No. 26: “Sometimes I get so tired; I don’t even know myself.” Seeing Double | Working To Exhaustion | “You look awful.”

No. 27: Matches | Scars | “Let me see”

No. 28: “We might not make it to the morning; so go on and tell me now.” Bloody Knife | Sacrifice | “You'll have to go through me.”

No. 29: “I only sink deeper the deeper I think.” Scented Candle | “What happened to me?”

No. 30: “It’s okay, just to say, ‘I’m not okay’.” Borrowed Clothing | Bridal Carry |

No. 31: “I thought that I was getting better.” Emptiness | “Take it easy.”

(Fifth fic about Mourning the relationship based on the alternate prompts will be done when it will be done ^^;; Gimme a break. No, not bones.)

[loser-female]

How do I get into cybersecurity? It looks fascinating but I don’t even know where to begin (for context, I am 28, have a BA in a completely unrelated specialization, and live in the US) 💛

Hi! I wasn't ignoring you, I just had shit days at work. Keep in mind that I work in EU and the labour market is different. I've heard a lot of lay-offs in the last few months but I have no idea if this involved cybersecurity positions or not. Also I'm a SOC Analyst specialising in Threat Intelligence. There are a lot of more positions to look out for, like if you are a lawyer you could go on the cyberlaw, privacy or auditing route.

Languages skills are appreciated a lot of you work in Threat Intelligence (I speak 4, currently learning Mandarin and my country sign language), coding skills are useful too.

Now, the usual path is:

1. Degree in computer science or software engineering (or math or physics, I did two years at physics)

2. You take a specialising course of some sort.

Some universities offers cybersecurity degrees I think (in my country it's a master's for example), and sometimes they might prepare you for CompTIA certs too. If you are lucky sometimes companies hire interns for like 6 months and they too make them study. My company did this... For the last interns. I had to be start my shifts after a month of learning lol. Idk if my manager threw a dice to choose between me and the other guy or if he noticed my ability.

I didn't follow that path, for various reason. I did a bootcamp and I took my certifications. But:

1. I've volunteered in a similar field for years and years (information research, debunking);

2. I speak 4 languages;

3. I did two years of physics before my health declined.

I do not recommend that part, because while I'm stupid good at my job, frankly my previous experience as volunteering did much more than any bootcamp.

Two points I feel I need make:

1. Certs. There are like an hundred or more, and it's a mess to figure it out. Plus it all depends what kind of role you want. Good news: most likely the company that will hire you will provide you access to few courses and the possibility to gain some of them, but IMHO taking a Sec+ or a Net+ is not a bad idea before looking for a job. While EC-Council is what HR looks at... Frankly let your company pay for it. Sec+ is like 350$ while a Ceh is 900$.

2. Downsides of my job - these are not talked enough imho.

-I work insane hours, I have two weekends free every two months because I work in shifts. I get paid more in my country (like I have a base hour rate and I get paid from 25% to 75% more of that rate if I like work on Christmas or a Sunday, nights get paid more obviously)

-I spend a significant amount of time studying and looking at news sites, social media to catch "the last news".

-Male environment. When I go to a conference I'm one of the like 20 women out of 1000, of which like 5 have a technical role like I do. It does make it feel like you are a freak even if no one is mean to you. I work from home, and I have only a female colleague - when I go to the office I'm the only woman out of 20 men. I love my colleagues and my manager, mind you, but if you are not in a good environment it's going to be a mess.

- Every company has a different set of tools, standards, programs etc that they use, and of you want to change job it can be hard to adapt.

-A SOC is a fast-paced environment and can be very stressful by nature, because it's a 24/7 service, and in certain parts of the day you can be inundated with alerts and issues to solve. And sometimes you have empty hours because nothing happens and it's boring.

- it's very important also to have soft skills because (like I did it today) you will be in charge of explaining what's going on to clients in a way that a 5 yo will understand, you will be in charge of projects, need to set enough time to study...

- You will meet people 1000x better than you are - and if you don't have the right mentality it's hard to deal with them, because you (well at least I do lol) will feel like an idiot and no one likes feeling like an idiot.

-Long hiring process. It took me a month from the first interview to be confirmed and two months to actually start - and this could really be a problem.

-Networking and connecting with others while it didn't land me a job definitely improved my skills, my credibility in the environment and who knows what else will happen in the future. Take what you can from others, most will be happy to share and help.

BUT!

Before committing you can try it with popular games such as Tryhackme or Hack The Box. They have learning environments where you can "play" and learn some basics. A real SOC or pen-test is like doing 10 of these challenges together but I had a lot of fun.

I hope this is enough! I tried to explain everything that someone considering a career in cybersecurity. Again, consider that I'm in Europe so this info might not be 100% accurate in the US.

[mvgnvsvntimvjoris]

All the cool "weirder" asks, which is maybe all of them? I dunno, I trust your judgment on which ones are the cool ones

I am SO SORRY, I read the ask, told myself to answer later the same days and managed to forget for ages ! But here it is, at last !!!

Weird asks, the cool ones ? You trust me too much with cool, I don't know how to identify cool !

I'll answer them all ! Thank you @mxcasual !

1 : Who is / are your comfort character(s) ? At the moment it might be Gale from Baldur's Gate 3 ? I need my escapism and he's a guy I'd geniunely be friend with. We would go to fantasy therapy together and do magic.

2 : Lighter or matches ? : Matches, I need that scratch before it ignites, it's a primal need ! Also I am just bad with lighters...

3 : do you leave the window open at night ? : If it's not too cold, yes, bring me that outside AIR

4 : which cryptyd being do you believe in ? Sadly none ? I wish for mothman tho, they seem pretty cool

5 : what color are your eyes ? Boring blue, YAWN

6 : why did you do that ? I don't know !

7 : hair-ties or scrunchies ? Scrunchies all the way, velvety black ones if possible

8 : how many water bottles are in your room right now ? Two, one empty and one full !

9 : which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee ? I tried both in various combination and I just don't like coffee when it's not in relation to desserts.

10 : would you slaughter the rich ? Yes

11 : favorite extracurricular activity ? Dreaming ?

12 : what kind of day is it ? I thought we were sunday but it's saturday night

13 : when was the last time you ate ? An hour ago, maybe two ?

14 : do you love the smell of earth after it rains ? Yes, and it drives me mad that I've lost my sense of smell years ago (not covid related, way before that).

15 : are you a parent ? Yes, of two cats, I wish I was a better parent to them

16 : can you drive ? Yes, had to !

17 : are you farsighted or nearsighted ? I never remember which one, but I have glasses !

18 : what hair products do you use ? uuuh Shampoo

19 : imagine we’re at a sleepover, would you paint my nails ? Absolutely, but don't you dare painting mines, I hate the feeling of it, I have to scratch it off really quick

20 : do you say soda or pop ? Neither, here we say the drink's brand and that's it

21 : something you’ve kept since childhood ? Everything I could, but as one exemple a piece of a door handle I broke. Still have it. I like it.

22 : what type of person are you ? I don't know how to describe myself at all, I'm sorry

23 : how do you feel about chilly weather ? I love it but it doesn't and has me on a hit list.

24 : if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing ? Watching the sunset or the stars, either talking or enjoying silence together

25 : perfume/body spray or lotion ? None ? Allergy is a bitch and strong smells are deadly

26 : a scenario that you’ve replayed multiple times ? IRL ? Because I'd have to answer : Failing at something

27 : about how many hours of sleep did you get ? Oh no, uh well last night was a mess, got 2 hours and I'm about to explode because of it

28 : do you wear a mask ? Yes

29 : how do you like your shower water ? Not too hot, barely body temperature, just enough

30 : is there dishes in your room ? No !

31 : what type of music keeps you grounded ? Classical, shits make me cry almost all of the time

32 : do you have a favorite towel ? I have one, my own, not really favorite just here to do the job !

33 : the last adventure you’ve been on ? Going to a concert in another country by car, does it count ?

34 : is there a song you know every word to by heart ? Way too many, sometimes I don't even like the song, but it's engraved. I need brain space but the songs won't go

35 : what’s your timezone ? uuuh, CET ? It's 10pm right now

36 : how many times have you changed your url ? I think twice, because I had a christmas one once

37 : someone in your life, other than a relative, you’ve known for 10+ years ? My oldest friend, went to school together when we were 12 and still being gentle annoyance to each other ! Also I'm pretty sure i have tumblr mutuals who count too

38 : a soap bar that smells good ? I don't know : ( loved lavender

39 : do you use lip balm ? No, can't stand the texture on my lips, has to get rid of it immediately...

40 : did you have any snacks today ? No, but I had two meals ! (little victories)

41 : how do you take your coffee ? I don't

42 : an app you frequently use besides this godforsaken site ? Instagram, another godforsaken site

43 : what’s your take on spicy foods ? I like it a lot, my stomach likes it less :o)

44 : you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it ? Uuuh....********* ******

45 : can you remember what happened yesterday ? A bit ? Showed a monsters book to my oldest niece, then I watched her play minecraft while I played Animal Crossing, made dinner, talked with the fam, watched 3 hours documentaries on the weather, then movie critics, then I fell asleep.

46 : favorite holiday film ? I...by default I think Nightmare Before Christmas ? But that's more because I first saw it when I was a kid (like 6 ?), a familly friend gave it to us as a Christmas movie and VHS's opening short film kind of traumatized me ? I love it for halloween now tho

47 : what was the last message you sent ? "La lumière t'attend !"

48 : when did you first try an alcohol beverage ? Well one christmas when I was a child (no idea the age, around 7 ?), family left and I tried to finish a red wine glass, it was disgusting

49 : can you skip rocks ? YES, it's so fun ! Been years !!

50 : can i tag you in random stuff ? Of course !