#if there are more things i should be adjusting i'd love some input

[xbuster]

I did a quick (imperfect) color-correction of a scene from Sailor Moon as a proof-of-concept for color-corrected gifs (no pink skin, whiter eyes, bluer blues, banana hair).

Also, original vs color-corrected:

Should I do more?

[fangdokja]

Heeeyyyyy it's me again lolll, sooooo have you checked out love and deep space (otome game with fighting monsters)? If not then you should, there are many hot characters there, i was rereading you paternal privileges and thought that "oh this is so zayne(one of the characters from love and deep space)" cuz if he's going to have a twisted side this really matches him well

Yeahhh, heyyyy. Prepare for unstructured Fang Dokja rambling.

Glad to see that you're also enjoying and reading the other stories. Paternal Privilege vibed more in Ao3 than in Tumblr, but I personally liked it as well. One of my first sex stories in general. Got lots of practice in it. And, in Ao3, people loved the ending haha. Thanks for sharing your input on it. It's appreciated :))

OK. I knew I'd get this question one day. And, I know some of you are Love and Deepspace (LaDs) fans (and also K-pop fans, especially you guys, I don't know why you're following me ahahhaha, but it's welcomed. Sorry, don't know much about K-pop like I hardly know DC).

OK SO! Of course I know this game! I played the game it was inspired by, Mr. Love Queen's Choice for more than 3 years! DADDYYYY VICTORRRR. I still have my account, whahhaha. Yes. This is bringing back memories.

And in Love and Deepspace's early release, like official first day, I was there! So, yes, I've played it.

Playstyle and graphics were cool. And, as a competitive gamer in general, ofc it was right up my alley. A bit clunky at first release, needed some adjustments, but generally good. It was way better in terms of graphics than Mr. Love, especially the interface and menus.

Though, I'd say what turned me off is I related more to the MC of Mr. Love than LaDs. Didn't really vibe with the MC of LaDs, a bit too emotional and outspoken for my tastes. Felt ENFJ (sorry, can't relate AT ALL to ENFJ's and ESFJ's especially) not gonna lie hahhahha. But, it's been so long since I played, so sorry if I get details wrong. Anyways...

I was just not vibing with the MC, and low-key plot as well. But, then again, maybe I expected too much. It usually happens when I do. I get so excited than it falls short of my expectations, and then I'm like ehh. So I just low key turn off my brain. It's also to prevent myself from spoiling myself. You have no idea how many times I've unwittingly spoiled myself in ANY fandom! It's genuinely unreal. So, it's like I have to stop thinking so I don't ruin those "huzzah" or "woahhh" moments for myself as a reader or audience.

Ok, back to the topic.

Why am I not making yandere content on it? Simple.

Because of this RULE:

Some characters remind of me of real life people too much, like for example, most “soft” and “green flag characters”. Reminds me of my friend’s boyfriend. And that person is gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss. It’s fricking weird. But in general, most reasons I don’t write certain characters is because it reminds me too much of people I know in real life.

My friend and I don't share stories. AT ALL. That includes any fandom, manga, anime, manhwa, video games, etc. There are some exceptions, but usually we have separate fandoms.

So, when I introduced this game to share with my friend. Majority of the characters, from the graphics to their behavior, fit my friend's boyfriend more. Reminded her of him more.

Didn't really find anyone that reminded me of my husband (only 4 main guys before). I do play games, or do anything really to spend time with him. And even in things like this, I do this so I can analyze my husband, think about him and brainstorm, etc. Just basically husband simping for me.

So, in conclusion, probably not gonna talk a lot about Love and Deepspace. And besides, I don't think the MC is like me anyway, so it's fine. I just have to not look at ANY fanart, 'cause man IT IS EVERYWHERE. I have to LITERALLY avoid it like the plague so I don't tempt myself.

Uh... I have a gaming addiction. HAHHAHAHA

Sorry, but strict rules being obeyed here as well in the friendship. We DO NOT SHARE STORIES. End of story. Hope you guys understand, though.

Yes, we're weird.

WARNING: The information below is just extra husband simping. Proceed with caution.

God, I am waiting for official international release of this game ESPECIALLY (when it comes to otome games):

My LORD, I will waiitttttt. If it's possible to release, Your will be done!! haha

As you can tell, I'm weak to muscles ahahahahahahhahahaha. Why? I love my husband so much, he's so handsome. I am weak.

OSBORN I JUST KNOW IT'S OSBORN aghhhh. especially him. But seriously. huuu well, my husband doesn't like talking about himself with anyone else besides me, so just have to use "analogies" like characters lollll.

Though, none can compare to my husband, of course. He's leagues above anyone else huuuuuuu. I love him so much.

I also told you guys. I relate to these memes. VERY. VERY. VERY MUCH.

You have no idea.

WAHAHHAHAH.

*exposes self*

But, I just love my husband so much. So, so, so much.

Yandere! Stepfather & Stepdaughter

Novella 1 : Paternal Privilege

He’s your family, but he doesn’t act like it.

🔞Pleasure in every strike, pain in every kiss.

🔞In the end, love is both their salvation and their damnation.

🔞His love is suffocating, but she’s forgotten how to breathe without it.

🔞Love shouldn’t feel like drowning, but he’s the only one who can save her.

She fell, but not by accident. He made sure of it.

[neurotheascars]

I think other vision impaired people need to understand that the fear of loosing your vision is not always "hey blind person, your life is a nightmare to me."

A lot of times it's really seriously, honestly, "I am not ready for the major adjustment it will take to live my life blind" and it's spoken by someone that has a hidden good reason to worry.

It's "If I lost the ability to see, I would lose a lot of things that are extremely important to the enjoyment of my life"

The "I would commit die if I became blind" is not "I'd kill myself if I was you" it's "I am not as strong as you and my life is more easily ruined by such things"

You don't have to, as a blind person who is totally ok with being blind, insert yourself into this worry because vision impairment affects everyone differently. Some of us have preexisting conditions that make life untenable should we lose vision.

The assumption it takes to twist "I worry about being able to function if this happened to me" into "I think your life is a nightmare" very much feels like inserting yourself into that persons perspective on their own life, when you could think about how being well adjusted to being vision impaired is a privilege unto itself. You could also be the one that dashes that fear by talking about something you had difficulty with that became easy.

Consider also whether your experience with blindness is innate because you were born with it. because it certainly does make a very big difference If you didn't have to suddenly drop everything in your life and readjust to a different one after becoming blind. It's not a nightmare to you when it very well could be for someone else and you really shouldn't talk over those people.

Like the context is super important here.

The people you are mad at are the able-bodied folk giving you unsolicited opinions directly to you about what your life would be like for them, not people who are speaking about a fear they have on their own and not talking directly to you.

If we are allowed to mourn and fear a loss of ability then why does that stop at vision impairment. Why does "you don't have to like your disability" stop here. If I don't have to love my disability then let me say I hate my vision impairment! Let me say it would ruin my life if it got worse!!

I'm not saying your blind life sucks, I'm saying MY life will suck if I completely loose my vision. Just because you can manage doesn't mean everyone will. Its actually really fucking belittling how much y'all talk about how insulting it is to hear how people can't deal with what you're oh so used to.

I'm autistic and I stim visually. I am allowed to think a life without being able to stim is a bad one for me. I'm allowed to regard visual input as the most important thing in my life.

My system is a professional artist. I'm allowed to say that blindness would destroy my life as I know it and I would have to build a new one from the ground up. I'm fast losing acuity even though I can probably see more colors than most people. Colors are my God and I seriously would have a mental health crisis if something were to take color away from my life. I'm allowed to say these things without people thinking I'm talking about how their life sucks.

This is a post made by someone with legal blindness and deteriorating vision. I will block the fuck out of you if you take this post in bad faith and misinterpret what I'm saying in a mean way.

[dc-polls]

Our current tournament is in its final round (go vote!) so it's time to start thinking about what kind of activity to jump into next. The head-to-head style tournaments are fun, but the sheer amount of time they take gets kind of stale. Maybe it's just me, but I'm finding i prefer more variety. But for now assume we're going to run another standard tournament with the mini one-offs here and there as usual, and maybe I'll find a creative way to move things along faster before we do start the next one. We'll see.

Regardless, pulling from some of my older posts, here are the ideas I think could be interesting next. I'd love to hear opinions or other ideas, so feel free to send in asks too!

Favorite arc - Submit a summary of a story arc (usually 2-6 issues) and we pick faves. I like that it also serves as a rec list.

Most questionable pose - Submit a panel of bad anatomy, poses featuring the butt for no reason, group shots that dont make physical sense, etc. Only official, professional art. Then we vote on the most goofy one. This one comes with a warning to be kind since even professionals are still growing as artists.

Freaky friday - Submit characters, then I pool results to randomly swap bodies. Vote on who would fare best be it in a fight, social situation, or just plain mental adjustment to the whole thing.

That really happened?! - Submit a story arc, interaction, line of dialog, etc from source material that is unbelievable or buck wild. The type of thing you tell non-comics fans to make them go wtf.

Hot or not - Submit characters and specify era. Vote for who is hotter, with hotness being up to personal taste and interpretation.

Dumbest character death - Pretty straightforward. Who died in the lamest way?

Fix-It - Submit a story from source material and the way you wouldve changed it for the better.

Sass-Off - Submit examples of a character being snarky or sassy, then we vote to see who has the most sass in all of DC.

And of course this call for input comes with a poll!

[painted-crow]

hey so i'm looking to figure my sorting out. i'm p sure of my secondary but honestly i've gone in circles so many times that i'd believe anything lmao

so i guess to start like. i'm fairly sure i'm an idealist, but with a twist. i care about making the world a better place-- i'm kinda infamous among my friends for being a little TOO outspoken about my opinions. on a small scale, i have strong opinions about a lot of things, but on a larger scale... idk. i don't think any one person can know what an ideal world looks like cause there really is no such thing. there are literally countless variables when it comes to implementing even small systems, countless ways to fuck it up, so i don't think i'd be choosing some grand ideal over the people i love anytime soon.

that being said, i think my idealist streak gets directed into something else most of the time. i'm very focused on understanding myself to a fault. i want to know why i do the things i do, why i believe certain things over others. when it comes to my beliefs about the world, they're strong but take it or leave it, but when it comes to myself they are not a good idea to push. i've ended relationships over not feeling like myself with them or feeling like i'm losing myself or they're pushing me to be someone i'm not. i make strong instant decisions about what the "right" thing to do is when it comes to how it impacts my perception of myself, especially with intimate relationships (i'm a lot less impulsive with things like friends and things i'm less personally involved in). i NEED to know who i am, way more than i care about any one specific person or thing. obviously i love people very deeply and would do just about anything to have both, but if i don't know who i am, if i'm not true to myself, then i have nothing. losing people happens.

the issue is, because i'm prone to doing that and not thinking as much about how it'll impact people, i've been called selfish a lot over my lifetime. recently i've started thinking more about how my actions impact people and their feelings, and i'm feeling a lot more torn. i want to do what i want to do, what i feel is best, but i feel immature for doing it a lot. i've started worrying a lot about being a bad person and hurting people, and i've been thinking about how the "right" way to be is. i went through a phase where i was repressing myself to make the "moral" choice, but i just felt so flat. ultimately i realized that it doesn't really matter how good i am if i have to repress myself to get there, cause then all it is is performance. tldr is i feel super guilty for making "selfish" choices rn, especially as i've gotten more aware of other peoples' feelings.

what i think is probably going on is that i'm an idealist primary with a badger model, but i'm not sure between lion and bird, and i'm still open to badger. pretty sure i'm not a snake.

the section on my secondary's gonna be a lot shorter, sorry this got so long! so i'm p sure i'm a badger secondary. considered lion and snake secondary too. whatever i am, i have a p loud lion model over it. i've always had a gift for making people trust me, for acting. i kinda blend in and become what i need to to both help them and get them off my back so i can do what i need to do. i have a serious passion for helping people with tough love (i like to think of myself as a p good advice giver, since i can both tell people what they need to hear and really get in their shoes and be kind where other people might not). i think i judge myself the least when i can kinda toe that line between pushing boundaries and stepping back-- i track where peoples' boundaries are constantly so i can push them to the limit without stepping over them. i'm very fluid when it comes to presentation in reality, even though i think people actually think of me as kinda controversial. i tend to see people who are ACTUALLY overstepping boundaries as lowkey selfish at times, even though i also really respect them. i like to do things the "right" way as long as i give a shit about them. the catch is, i don't want to blend into the background, and i don't think i do. a partner of mine called me a fox cause he noticed the way i constantly toe that line where i can get people to notice me and still keep them off my back, still make them comfortable. i'm also NOT a planner. people constantly give me shit for only ever feeling things out in the moment, and honestly thinking about the future freaks me out. i don't want to plan how i do shit i'd rather just get in the zone and figure it out from there. tldr i'm pretty sure i'm a badger secondary? but i could be convinced of snake. definitely see elements of both but my gut's telling me badger so take that how you will

anyway! thank you so much for taking the time to answer this, i know it's a lot.

also sorry one thing i forgot to add about my secondary! i think my lion model got so loud because when i do the shifty presentation thing, i have a tendency to lose myself and start perceiving myself as whatever i'm presenting. it's made it really hard to figure out who i actually am and so i started just being as clear about it as possible.

for my primary, i really care a lot about being right. i try to take every side into consideration to make sure i get the best conclusion. i can be super stubborn when it comes to certain things, but i don't want to just... hold to perceptions that are wrong. that being said it's important to me to trust my gut and i take it as a big input. i'm very felt out for most things, don't really have a strong system of how to be. i really wanna be able to trust myself but i just don't. i have a big habit of relying on other people to tell me what to think, which is uh. yeah.

Primary

You're a Bird primary with a Lion model, and you're trying on some Badger ideals. That's one of the easier Sorts I've done, lol! Possibly because your primary and models actually House match mine :p

Your reasoning process screams Bird xD and so does your writing style and just the length of the ask. Birds love self-analysis, it's part of how we make sure our systems stay as close to true as we can make them.

You've got some Lion too, but it's a model. It sounds like your Lion and your Bird have come into conflict before, and like most Birds with Lion models, it bugs the snot out of you when your Lion's intuition (which is important data!) doesn't line up with what your Bird knows.

You've prioritized Bird's conclusions before, but (as with many Birds) you don't entirely trust your own system and you're wondering if your Lion might have been right and you should give its reasoning more weight.

Also, you're consciously deciding that maybe Badgers' way of doing things is more moral than yours, and you're pulling in some of those ideals. That doesn't make you a Badger primary. Birds are notorious for this kind of thing actually 😂

The line between whether some ideals you've pulled into your Bird system vs. what counts as a model is fuzzy. It's up to you really, how important those pieces of Badger are to you.

For me, I think the line might be--is it wired into your sense of self on its own, or does it get filtered through your Bird and Lion? It really sounds like your Lion is a strong part of your sense of self: if you ignore its advice, you feel not totally like yourself. You don't have to feel all your models equally strongly, but thinking of it that way might help.

(It's also hard because Birds often feel like they kind of are their systems, or they are their ability to reason, that's a core part of their identity. ...It's complicated.)

Secondary

You sound really really Snakey. I'm not sure where you're getting Badger, actually!

Badgers are more than the mirroring ability. They also bury themselves in work or community, and it can sometimes look like they're neck deep in so many responsibilities that they couldn't possibly handle any more problems--and then they do have a problem, they do need something, and they stand up and all that stuff they were buried in turns out to be armor and tools.

Snakes, otoh, are improvisational and tend to be very aware of their surroundings. Unlike Badgers, the Snake brand of social shapeshifting involves a lot of keeping track of other people's reactions to what they're doing--trying something and then watching the response, then adjusting, rinse and repeat. You turn yourself into exactly the right person for this situation.

Badger mirroring is usually simpler. You reflect the other person's energy back at them: it's an empathetic response that says we're alike, I accept you, you're safe. A lot of Badgers do this without thinking--it can be hard to turn off.

Snakes also don't go in for prep work as much, it tends to trip them up (Snakes with Badger or Bird models notwithstanding). They're Improvisational secondaries, unlike Bird and Badger which are Built and rely heavily on some form of preparation.

The Lion model sounds legit, but just check for yourself: you might be learning to use Snake's neutral state. Snakes will sometimes drop all their layers of acting and maneuvering and suddenly they're just themselves. Different Snakes have different relationships with neutral state. For some Snakes, it's a relief to drop the mask; for others, it feels vulnerable and they only trust certain people with their full authenticity.

It does sound like you really admire Lion secondaries, though, so you might indeed have a model there! This is just something else you could check on.

Hope that helps!

- Paint

[artificialqueens]

Gimme Love, 7/9 (Miz Cracker/Blair St Clair) - Grinder

AN: Sorry in advance, but this chapter is kinda short. But we do get more conflict, more drama. 3 more chapters! Who's pumped? No one.

TW FOR THIS CHAPTER: Brief blood mentions.

2020

Remember how I said I was on a journey towards happiness? In the beautiful world of Brianna Caldwell, life said, "Nah."

The next day, it was apparent that things were only getting worse.

"Ed Sheeran is still on board," Joey stated matter-of-factly. He crossed his arms, the safety visor making a rustling sound as he did so.

He was joined by Nina, Alex, and Michael. A few of the lab team were at their desks, trying to ignore the current confrontation, including Jujubee.

She looked as if she wasn't paying attention to the ordeal, but I knew Jujubee like the back of my hand, and she was listening. I couldn't help but want her to speak up and help me out here. But she hadn't spoken to me since the day before.

"Yeah, he is." I put my hands on my hips, standing at the front of the lab, while Joey and his friends sat there and looked up at me.

"Why, though?" Joey continued to question.

"God, we already had this discussion," I spoke quietly, looking to the side for some sort of distraction.

"Yeah, but you said you'd figure something out." Nina input.

"Yeah, you did." Alex joined in. I glanced at Jujubee in the hopes she'd join the conversation. Her eyes remained on the chemical she was working with.

"Why did you choose him in the first place? Why not…" Michael paused, deciding to join the argument, "Bill Nye...or someone who actually has an interest in Space and Science."

"Yeah, for real. Like, you do realise that in years to come, when kids read about 'Neil Armstrong - the first man on the moon, they're gonna flip the page and see 'Ed Sheeran, confirmed the first man to enter another dimension.'" Alex added.

"Like, how do you even explain Ed Sheeran as a choice?" Nina held a hand out in questioning.

I finally found a crack and slipped back into the conversation, "Because your project manager is a disaster when she's drunk and makes stupid choices without even thinking."

"We know, Brie. You were drunk." Joey rolled his eyes like he was tired of hearing the same story.

"Maybe you should stop drinking." Alex squinted his eyes.

"Yeah, we don't wanna go there, but maybe this is a problem," Michael added to the point.

My eyes were becoming wider with every word they were saying. This was absolutely ridiculous. Again, I was hoping Jujubee would argue back, but she remained silent.

Nina, however, was the one to interject, "Jesus, guys. You're taking it a bit too far." She stood up and gathered her lab coat, "Look, we all do dumb shit when we're drunk. She's not a mess, OK?"

Joey laughed. I held back from calling him out for the time that I caught him hiding in the closet playing Candy Crush for an hour.

"Well, even so, she should take this into consideration," Alex suggested.

"And do what?" I unfolded my arms and held them out by my side, "call him and say 'JK, Ed. It was just a joke, Ed.'"

"Girl, you're the one who got us into this mess. You figure it out." Alex raised his voice. How very fair of him. I was the one who had to deal with this problem, yet they were the only ones who seemed to care.

"Mess is a bit of a harsh term." Nina pointed out.

"Exactly, there is no mess here. Juju and I have already figured this out," my gaze shifted towards her again, hoping the mention of her name would cause a reaction. Nothing, "So I'd appreciate it if I could stop getting all this flack. I don't need flack from you," I pointed at Joey, "I don't need flack from you," next, at Alex, "or you," then Michael, and I moved my finger in Nina's direction, "or...Jesus Christ, you're having a nose bleed."

Nina's hand flew straight up to her nose, pulling away and examining the red liquid. "Oh, my Lord!"

She tried wiping it. But more blood poured out like a faucet that had been slowly turned on.

"Can you just...get out of here and get that cleaned up?" It sounded bitchy. But I was panicking. I never did well with blood. Therefore I looked away and hid my face.

"Thanks for helping, boss." Joey practically snarled, handing Nina a bunch of tissues. Like hungry wolves following the scent of the blood, the 3 men followed her out of the room, Joey still scorning at me as he left.

It was just me and the other scientists left in the room.

I turned and moved to one of the counters, picking up screws and bolts as if I was actually interested in them. But I couldn't ignore the presence of my best friend.

Hearing shuffling, I turned. She was standing up and gathering her things.

"Juju." I approached her.

She only quickened the packing up process.

Reaching her bench, she was already turned in the direction of the door, "Juju, are you just gonna ignore me all day?"

Finally, she looked at me, adjusting her bag strap, "There's nothing to say."

"Oh really? Well, you can decide to drop me as a friend, but you're still working for me, so we need to communicate."

"OK," Jujubee shrugged, "Well, what do you need to discuss with me that's work-related?"

She got me there. Licking my lips, I breathed out with a quick sigh. "OK, look, last night, we didn't end on a good note. I'm not saying I was wrong, and neither were you. Can you just please set that aside and talk to me?"

She squinted her eyes. "So, I'm supposed to just let the problem keep building?"

"Juju!" I briefly raised my voice, a few of the other scientists glanced in our direction. Jujubee looked uneasy now. So I lowered my tone again. "OK. I'm just gonna say it. I fucked up. I fucking...wrote her a creepy message, and I don't know what to do, and I have no one to talk to about it."

She let out a sarcastic laugh, "You're still looking to use me as your therapist. You learned nothing from what I said, Brianna."

I was silent, incapable of speaking anything else.

She looked away to the ground, "This is taking up my lunchtime."

And with that, she moved to the door, the sound of her heels like a clock ticking down.

"Juju, what can I do?" I held my hands out by my sides. "How am I going to make you satisfied?"

With a hand opening the door, she was frozen for a moment. I thought she would have walked on and ignored me. But she looked over her shoulder and said, "When you realise she's not the one who cares about you."

She left the room, pulling the door closed. The noise caused me to flinch.

I turned around her words in my head.

Two of the scientists were whispering, one glancing at me. I felt my chest become tight. "Hey. This isn't a social gathering. Get back to work."

Despite their astonishment, they moved away from each other anyway.

I instantly felt like a bitch. Technically yeah, it was my job to keep everyone working. But I rarely raised my voice.

I left the room, seeking peace and quiet.

Sitting in my chair, I held my hands in my head, staring at the redwood desk. Moments like these should have felt like a luxury, just sitting there, relaxing. But my mind was racing with too many thoughts.

I had no idea what I could do to make amends with Jujubee. But I could try and sort this Ed Sheeran problem.

Loading up my emails, I opened the thread with Ed Sheeran (which was actually only 3 messages and most likely with his manager).

I hit reply and started typing.

'Listen, Ed. There's been an issue…'

No.

'Dear Mr Ed Sheeran, we regret to inform you…'

'Hello, Ed. It's Brianna from…'

'Ed, big fan of the work, but…'

I squeezed my eyes shut, already feeling exhausted, like each press of the backspace button represented a loss of a brain cell.

For all the achievements I had earned throughout the years, for all the accomplishments, why the fuck was this so damn hard?

The telephone rang, causing me to jolt. A sigh left my lips as I tried to breathe. Pressing the speaker, I said, "Jackie, what's up?"

Jackie, my receptionist, spoke, "Hey, honey. Your Mom's on line 2."

My hand clenched around my pen, already feeling that familiar sense of dread.

"OK, thank you," I spoke quieter.

I hesitated for a moment before finally clicking line 2.

"Hi, Mom," I uttered.

"Hi, baby." She said quietly. "How are you?"

"Fine." I lied. "Nothing really new here. How about you?"

"All good…" she sighed, then paused briefly, "Actually no. Things aren't good. I...lost my job. The usual, they found someone better. And I've been trying so hard to find a job."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"Yeah, and on top of that," she sighs again, "Brie, honey, there is no easy way to say this; Piggie's sick."

My breath caught in my throat, but I tried to remain calm. "What's wrong with him?"

"They said it's Lyme disease, Brianna. I...I don't know what's going to happen." Her voice cracked.

"Look, don't worry. I'm gonna send you money right now. It should cover the bills. He'll be - -"

"No, I didn't call you to ask for money." She said quickly, "I was just wondering...I know you're busy and everything…"

Fuck. My eyes squeezed together, hand tightening around the phone.

"But...I would love to see you. It's been nearly a year now." Her tone softened.

And immediately, I wanted to say no. Considering the circumstances, a visit would fuck with my head. Seeing Piggie, my emotional support through teenagehood would crush me.

"You there, baby?" She asked.

"Yeah," I whispered.

"I just...I don't want to be alone. What if the medical treatment fails? I'm gonna have no one, Brianna. I don't want that." She pauses again, and my chest tightens, tears filling my eyes. "Brie, baby, please come."

I can hear the pain in her voice. But I can't help but feel that sense of fear, the anxiety.

"Don't leave me alone to deal with this, please. I'm at my lowest. And I don't know if I could do it all by - -"

I hit 'end call'.

I put the phone back and rested my head in my hands.

I knew this was my fault - our strained relationship. I could only see that now, how emotionally unstable I was. That sounds like a joke, right? I just didn't expect it to be this bad.

Nothing was getting better.

-_-_-_-_-_-

2004

I threw my bag in the back seat before climbing in the front. My hair was soaked from the rain. I literally just ran from the school to Mom's car, not even outside for that long, yet so much rain.

I said nothing, only rubbed my hands together to keep warm.

"So, the schools flooded?" Mom asked.

"Yeah."

"The whole school?" She looked past me and to the building, an eyebrow raised. "It doesn't look that bad."

"It's just the shop classes and cafeteria, to be honest." I put my hands between my thighs to make the warming up process happen quicker.

"That's a bit unnecessary to send you all home."

"Yeah, well, I'm not complaining."

Mom fired up the engine, and we were set for home. There was a moment of silence that fell among us. Nothing out of the ordinary.

But when she turned the radio down, I knew we were in for a discussion.

"That's not the only thing the school called me about today." She started.

"Oh?" I looked out the window. I don't know why but I assumed they had finally exposed me for smoking around the back of the building. But it was doubtful as I had stopped during the Summer.

"They're concerned about you, Brie." And so was she, now that I could hear it in her tone. "Your grades have only gotten better the slightest amount."

"Well, I can't just go from a C to an A in a matter of days." I still looked out the window. "And besides, I'm staying behind every other day for extra studying."

"Are you sure you're not just flaking and hanging out with Jujubee instead?" There it was, the accusatory tone.

I looked at her now. "No? And if it makes you feel better, you can call her Mom and ask. How's that sound?" I scoffed, "God, I don't need this. Not like I'm dealing with enough at school anyway."

"Well," she was silent for a moment as if daring herself to speak again, "Not that I'd know, I mean, you don't really open up to me about school."

"Yeah, because there's nothing you can do about it." Was I wrong? What could she do? Barge into the school with a gramophone and yell, 'Stop picking on my daughter!'

"About what?"

I rolled my eyes, "Doesn't matter. I don't wanna talk about it."

I could practically feel the way she held back from rolling her eyes.

"Well, the only other thing I can think of is that you're too focused on all this space stuff." She sounded more irked now. "You need to focus on your future, not all this make-believe crazy conspiracy theory shit."

"Oh, that crazy conspiracy theory shit that my Grandpa enjoyed?" My tone was slowly raising.

"I didn't mean it like that. I'm saying your Grandpa didn't make a living sitting around and fantasising about all of this stuff. He knew the difference between having a career and having a dream."

"Well, God, not like my interest hasn't got a thing to do with my future prospects, Mom. No. Who would have thought." The sarcasm was thick in my voice.

"Whatever it is you're striving towards, it sounds more like a dream to me. You need a more stable plan." Mom flicked the indicator quite aggressively.

"Oh my God," I laughed, "That's hilarious. You have no idea what I'm striving towards. You can't even tell me what it is."

"Does it matter??"

"Just shows how much you give a shit about me, right, Mom?"

We pulled up to a red light to Mom's delight because she pulled the handbrake.

"How dare you." She seethed, "How dare you speak to me like that. I have done nothing but give a shit about you all these years. I have been there for you, every nervous breakdown, every time you wanted to cry but wouldn't, every time you needed your Mother the most. I was the best Mother I could be because I know that deep down you were hurting." Her voice cracks. "I know that you struggled for so long, what with your parents and all, but I've done all I can to give you what they couldn't. I held you. I loved you. But now, what I'm getting back is this...attitude. All I did, Brie, was express my concern, and you immediately went on the defence." She paused again before lowering her tone, "And I know you want to hold on to this space stuff, so you don't lose someone else. And I know you're in pain. But is this actually what Grandpa would have wanted??"

We held each other's gaze for another moment before the light finally turned red. She started driving again.

But I wasn't done. "Really? All of that and for what, Mom? God, you have no idea what Grandpa wanted for me. If only you knew what he asked of me when he was lying in his deathbed."

"And what was that?" She raised a brow.

"It doesn't matter." I crossed my arms and was back to looking out the window.

"Of course." She stated.

"Just...stop, please. My grades will be better. Now, we're done having this conversation."

I could feel her seething, the heat of her anger radiating through the cramped vehicle. But she said no more.

Not even for the rest of the night.

[onebangtanstan]

Power Style - Chapter Four : The dinner

We look at each other with surprise. I wasn't expecting to see him here. Does this mean it's a dinner with all the guys?

« Um.. hi » he says, not understanding why I'm at the doorstep « Did Tae invite you? »

« Hi, well yeah.. uh he wanted to run some ideas by me. » I don't know how to act around him it's weird. I feel drawn to him, but don't understand him. I know there's more than this version he puts out to the world.

He lets me in the apartment.

« What about you? » I ask

He looks at me, and I almost see a smirk on his face.

« I actually live here, with Tae »

« Oh! Sorry I didn't know! »

« That's okay, you couldn't have »

It makes sense that some of the guys live together. We're now walking in a hallway filled with pictures of the band at award shows, concerts, red carpets. I can't help but look at them. They do look really good.

« So do the others live together as well? » I ask, trying to make conversation.

He's walking in front of me, I barely hear him answering.

« Kook and Jimin live together, not far from here, Jin and Hobi share an apartment closer to the center, and Joon lives by himself two streets away from here. »

I pick up on the knicknames and try to figure out which is which. It's not that hard, but I just need to adjust. I only know their birthnames.

« I see » I answer. I don't continue the conversation. I feel like he's not one for small talk.

We finally leave the hallway that seemed neverending and arrive in the biggest living room I've ever seen.

3 couches are set in the middle of the room, towards Seoul. I've never been this high up in a building before, the view is spectacular. A « wow » escapes my mouth. Yoongi shrugs.

« TAAAAAAAE! YOUR GUEST IS HERE! »

I turn around as he speaks. He's standing at the entrance of another hallway.

I keep looking around while I'm waiting. This really is a beautiful house. We're standing in one big room that combines living room and kitchen. The biggest kitchen island I've ever seen seperates the two rooms. Everything is decorated with taste, all in shades of grey, gold and white.

Yoongi hands me a drink while I'm still contemplating the room.

« White, I figured »

I smile at him, taking the glass in my hand. He's good.

« Thank you! Um, Yoongi I was thinking, maybe we could go for a drink or whatever, so we can talk about the campaign? I would really love to have your input. » I need this. I don't know why, but I feel like he'll have great ideas.

« Um...sure, why not. Maybe we can - »

He's interrupted by a loud noise from the hallway. Taehyung comes out of it rubbing his elbow.

He looks gorgeous. He's dressed all in white, a simple shirt falling down seamlessly on his body, matching trousers that stop at his ankles, showing his barefeet.

FUCK. I just realized I didn't take my shoes off.

« Oh shit, sorry um shoes... I um.. » I can't think straight with him staring at me.

They both laugh « Don't worry » says Yoongi. « Right, I'm going leave you two now. »

As he's walking towards the bedroom area Îm guessing, he says something to Taehyung in Korean. I catch a glimpse. My Korean is not that good, but I understand something like « You could have warned me ».

Now it's just me and Taehyung. I feel hot. I don't know what to do. Breathe. Drink! Thank God I have a glass of wine in my hand. I take a big gulp.

Taehyung comes towards me, his elbow finally better. The closer he gets, the better he looks. I now see the details to his outfit. He has a few rings on, but not as big as this morning. He's wearing his iconic Chanel necklace matched with some earrings. His dark curls fall perfectly around his face, giving him that mysterious look that I love.

« May I call you Gina? » He asks

I feel my stomach going nuts, but I try to stay as professional as possible.

« Of course! We're going to be working together for quite sometime, it's better for us to be on first name basis. »

« In that case, you can call me Tae. Or V. »

« V? » I ask, while he walks towards the kitchen. I follow him and sit on one of the bar stools around the island.

« It's my stage name » he says, opening the fridge. He takes out a few containers, puts them in the microwave. « I'm sorry, I don't cook. But Yoongi made this last night and it was sooooo good. »

« That's okay! » I say. God, he's so cute when he talks about food.

I don't understand how he can go from baby to daddy in 3 seconds.

He leans on the island while the food is cooking. Yup, daddy is back.

We exchange some small talk while the food is heating up. We then head back to the living room. We sit on the floor and start eating.

We talk about the campaign, he has some really good ideas. I can see that he's more comfortable in his own space.

« Can I ask why you didn't mention any of those ideas in the meeting? They're all really good » Fuck, I'm drunk. I've just realized that we drank two bottles of wine already. Try keeping it together Gina.

« Well, the thing is » he starts, not thrown by my question « I always have ideas, but the guys - especially my Hyungs - discredit me all the time. So I'd rather shut up, and bring things up slowly »

« That must be hard »

« It's the way it is, you get used to it. » He sips his drink, looking ahead. I can sense some pain in his eyes. He is stunning right now. I see him from the side, the lights gently touching his skin, his jaw clenched. His traits are hard, but so sweet at the same time.

He turns to me and says « You look really good tonight by the way. »

I look down and smile. As I look back up, his eyes are still locked on me.

DON'T DO IT GINA, DON'T DO IT. Fuck it, I'm drunk.

I lean into his lips and give him a soft kiss. He answers to my kiss.

As I lean back from him, shaken by what just happened, he's smirking. WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST DO.

He sits back up, leaning on the couch.

« Um wow. That was... unexpected » he starts.

I feel my face getting red. I can't believe I just did that. He sees that I'm getting tense.

« Oh no! Don't-»

I don't let him finish.

« I'm so sorry, I never should have done that. I'm gonna leave. I'm sorry. Oh my god, I-»

« Stop. » he cuts me off. « I'm very flattered. Really. You're a very beautiful woman. »

My cheeks get even redder, if it's possible.

He continues « The thing is though, I'm gay. »

WHAT?!

« And I'm kind of with Jungkook »

WHAAAAT?!

I take the information in. Wow. How did I not know this? Well, of course I didn't know. Idols aren't aloud to date girls, let alone boys.

« Oh, I see » I answer quietly « I mean, that's amazing for you guys! Um.. Sorry I don't know what to say. »

« That's okay. I'm going to the bathroom, it'll give you time to process.»

[it1776]

The Best Nintendo Switch Controller Review

The Pro Controller is fine.

I still recommend it to most people

but if you play a lot of 2D games that the D-Pad placement

just isn't gonna cut it. 8BitDo is been making

fantastic Deepak controllers for a while now.

I originally recommended the old SN30

if you wanted to play a lot of 2D games.

Its biggest flaw was it's ergonomics, making it hard to play

3D games with its thumb sticks.

They fixed that with the release of the SN30 Pro+

a near-perfect controller that quickly became

my favorite controller for the Switch.

I used it so much that I ran it into the ground

and had to buy a new one recently. Almost two years later,

they finally released an updated version,

simply called the 8BitDo Pro 2.

Thank God that name was starting to be a mouthful.

This version adds a lot

to the already fantastic Pro Controller alternative.

If you are on the fence about getting one before,

this one will for sure give you

a couple of pretty good reasons to reconsider.

(upbeat music)

This video is sponsored by Aspyr, the guys who brought you,

the Jedi Outcast and Jedi Academy Switch ports

are now bringing you Star Wars Republic Commando.

It's finally on Nintendo Switch

and PlayStation 4 for just 1499.

Check it out at the link in the description below.

Whoa! Whoa! Come on, dude.

Chaos has erupted throughout the galaxy.

As leader of an elite squad of Republic Commandos,

your mission is to infiltrate, dominate,

and ultimately annihilate the enemy. You will play as Boss,

leader of the special ops unit Delta Squad

together with Fixer, Scorch and Sev

working together as a team

instinctively, intelligently, instantly. You guys all right.

I was here first and then you guys just came.

Battle a variety of highly intelligent and deadly enemies

from brutal Trandoshan mercenaries, all right.

To the flying insectoid warriors of Geonosis.

This game was originally released in 2005

and I think is a crucial part of Star Wars history.

I love this era of Star Wars games and I love that Aspyr

is putting some games from this era on the Switch.

So again, you can try it for yourself for just 1499

at the link in the description below.

(water bubbling)

Sorry anybody got a USB-C charger.

(water bubbling).

So if you're new here

the biggest reason why I recommend this controller

is because of the D-pad. It's perfectly clicky.

It feels almost exactly like an original S.N.E.S controller

but you know, newer obviously. But it also has

all of the makings of a great modern controller.

It's thumb sticks feel almost exactly

like a DualShock 4 thumb sticks, making this a great option

for 3D games if you need something that could do both.

Here's something I often forget to mention.

It comes with a rechargeable battery, but it can be removed

and replaced with two double A's if you're in a bind,

something Microsoft should take note of.

It also has great motion controls and rumble.

The only thing that it's missing

that the Nintendo Pro Controller has is NFC.

But at the significantly lower price point,

are you really gonna be missing NFC that much?

The original SN30 Pro+ was and still is $45.

This new one bumps the price up to $50,

which is still a reasonable price

and some harsh competition for Nintendo's $70 controller.

It also works on Switch, Windows, Mac, Android,

and Raspberry Pi via Bluetooth, which is great

if you wanna play emulators or 2D games via Steam.

It's an all-around great controller

and I haven't even mentioned any of the new features yet.

Everything that I've said is also available

on the older $45 model.

The Pro 2 Sports 2 assignable back buttons.

This is a very welcome addition

and something I wish more controllers included.

My only gripe here is that

they're a little too easy to press. They're very large.

It's very difficult to grip the controller

without touching these buttons with your middle fingers.

In an intense game of Mario Maker

I accidentally press these buttons many times.

Luckily, by default they're assigned to nothing.

So pressing them did nothing at all.

You can assign functions to these buttons

using the brand new 8BitDo companion app.

In fact, you can remap all of the buttons

using the companion app.

And there are three different assignable profiles

that you can swap between on the fly.

Technically there's four because

there's just a baseline default one which is great

for when you don't wanna accidentally hit the back buttons.

Pressing this button right here switches between the modes.

There's off one, two and three.

In addition to remapping the buttons,

this software also allows you to fix the sticks dead zones.

It's also supposed to let you fix the trigger sensitivity,

but I couldn't figure out how to do that in the app.

I can only figure out how to do that on the desktop version.

But I like having my trigger sensitivity set really high

so they're like hair triggers because almost no Switch games

registered trigger sensitivity anyway.

Upon further review it seems that they disabled

the trigger sensitivity tab for the Switch.

So they got rid of trigger sensitivity

entirely for the Switch which is weird

'cause there are games that could still use it.

But if you go to Android or DInput or whatever,

it shows the trigger sensitivity, which is very strange.

You can also adjust vibration levels and of course,

macros, which go great with the new additional back buttons.

Previously, I used to assign macros to the share button.

Now I don't have to, unfortunately, the macro functionality

still, isn't very intuitive. You have to program it yourself

in the app, one button at a time. You can set the timings

between button presses but that's way harder to do

than just inputting a macro yourself on the controller

and having it record your inputs.

Something I've seen in a few other devices lately.

I hope that 8BitDo can eventually update

the Ultimate software and the Pro 2's firmware

to have this sort of functionality.

Because right now the macro function is pretty much

all only useful for like fighting games.

They did add the ability

to use thumb stick inputs for macros.

So if you have more patience than me

you can figure out some macros for Smash Brothers.

What might be more useful is assigning a turbo button

which is useful for many games, namely Animal Crossing.

I have a whole video on that if you're interested.

The old Pro+ had a turbo function but with this new Pro 2,

it might be worth it to assign one of the back buttons

to enable the turbo function. You can also have

the other back button assigned to hold.

So it will hold down a button forever.

So you can breeze through long menus or something.

Another useful feature that was recently added.

You can set the left stick to be swapped with the D-pad.

This is useful for games like Link's Awakening,

which should have D-pad support, but it doesn't.

There's also an option

to swap the right stick with the triggers.

I think that's some fighting games.

But my favorite part about this new mobile app

is that it allows you to change your settings on the fly.

You don't have to disconnect it from your Switch at all.

You can have it connected to your Switch

and the app at the same time.

This is something that you could not do

with the previous desktop app. This is huge for figuring out

the timing of macros or finding out the right button mapping

for yourself and immediately trying it out in the field.

One of my least favorite things

about wireless controllers like this

is connecting it to the Switch.

I often find myself just (indistinct) the button

till it finally comes up.

This controller alleviates some of that pain

by adding a mode switch on the back.

On the previous Pro+ you had to hold Start and Y

to enter switch mode. Windows, Android, and iOS,

all had different corresponding face buttons.

You expect me to remember all those.

There was also no indication

what mode you were currently in.

Now it's as easy as just flipping the switch.

You have Nintendo Switch, Apple DInput and XInput.

XInput is for Windows and Android.

DInput is for like old. I don't know it's

just probably don't worry about it. Other than all that

the only other real difference is it's enhanced grip

which is really just a textured back

similar to the textured back

of the new DualSense controller.

Other than that, this controller feels exactly the same

as the old SN30 Pro+ controller.

Switching between the two reveals that the face buttons

feel more responsive on the newer one.

Maybe it's because it's newer

and I used the shit out of my old one.

It's hard to tell.

- Oh no. - Hit the button, dude.

I think this controller.

(upbeat game music)

You know, I'll try, I'll try the top ones.

The buttons, the build quality, everything feels the same.

The Pro 2 comes in gray, black and GB edition.

I pre-ordered myself the Game Boy looking one

so I'll be getting that one when it eventually comes out.

But 8BitDo sent me their gray edition one, which looks like

it's attempting to resemble a PlayStation 1 controller.

It's an okay design. The A, B, X, Y buttons

colored like PlayStation buttons is like unsettling.

It's like a sin. The strongest design that they have

is definitely the Game Boy looking at one.

8BitDo used to have controllers that looked almost exactly

like Super Nintendo and N.E.S controllers,

but I'm sure they strayed away from that

so that they weren't bullied by Nintendo's lawyers.

It's also probably why they don't have

a Super Nintendo looking one at all anymore.

But I mean, the feel of the controller

is more important than anything else. And for 2D games,

there's nothing better than this,

until you find your Lord and Savior keyboard keys baby.

So if you haven't yet picked yourself up a 8BitDo controller

now might be the time to make the jump.

$5 extra for the back buttons,

the updated Ultimate software, the mode switch,

the custom profiles that can switch on the fly.

Yeah, I'd say it's worth it to get this version

over the original or Pro. Now is it worth upgrading to

if you already have an original SN30 Pro+.

That I'm not sure about.

Maybe if yours is starting to feel like shitty.

I know mine started to feel like

a little unresponsive, I guess.

I don't know how to describe it other than

it just got shitty and then I had to buy a new one.

But if you're perfectly content with your original SN30 Pro+

then it's probably not worth dropping an extra $50

on a brand new controller. It's like 90% the same controller

and about 10% new hotness. Or maybe I'm sure

you could find a way to justify it.

Maybe you could teach your grandma how to do Kaizo Mario.

What do you guys think about the brand new 8BitDo Pro 2?

It's a lot easier to say at this time.

Is this gonna make you finally make the jump

into getting an 8BitDo controller? Or it's something that

you would consider upgrading to from the original?

I don't think you really need to

unless like yours got like old crappy.

If you have a Nintendo Switch Pro controller already,

and you find yourself playing way more 2D games

this might be worth getting in addition to.

I mean it's like a second,

you get a second player with it to.

Leave in the comments below, add me on Twitter

and all this social media garbage.

As always we have new videos here all the time,

at least once a week.

This week, I think you're getting two, lucky you.

And we got streams over on twitch.tv/wulffden

where we can hang out and chat with each other

about stuff like this. Look at that.

Make sure you turn on notifications for all of that stuff

so you know, when we go live

'cause you can't rely on YouTube or Twitch to tell you.

But of course the most important thing right now

is just subscribe. Thank you.

I appreciate you for wanting to watch these videos.

And share this video with a friend.

A friend who maybe hasn't gotten

one of these controllers yet and it's still stuck

with the freaking regular role Pro controller.

Or maybe they're using the freaking split Joy-Cons

like a real, degenerate.

(gentle music)

Thank you. Have a good week.