#if the soldier life ain't for him anymore

[i-dont-know-how-this-site-works]

Calling it now, Hunter and Wrecker are going to trust Crosshair because he is the only one who Batcher actually listens to and obeys besides Omega.

[day-drawn-blog]

Part VII: I went away cause I missed you or maybe You are not mine and am I truly yours? - The Power

Pairing: Astarion x Reader -- This is set in Act I

Tags: angst, fluff, sadness, angst, fluff, then maybe eventually smut because I do love that

Part I. Crowned light moon of mine - I found you too soon

Part II : Lace your heart with mine Let your sleeping soul take flight

Part III : maybe tonight I'll rest in peace

Part IV : There is more to do and I still want to live

Part V : our futures bound, our bodies known

Part VI: These ain't my sins. I broke my chains.

Part VIII: Your blood like wine, invites me in.

Part IX: I'll welcome my sentence and give you my penance

Part X : I can't go yet...don't let me die

You all stayed at camp as two of your party members recovered their physical and psychic damage. Not much happened. The second night, Astarion was able to step out, and sit next to the campfire with everyone. Everyone had spent time on their own way - resting. Wyll seemed to have refined a dance. He wanted to share with everyone, and asked for a partner, just as you walked in with a bunch of firewood. Everyone looked at you and Wyll found his volunteer. You indulged him.

It turned out more fun than you had thought.

You enjoyed dancing in a previous life. A life which you cannot remember much of, anymore. Everyone was being merry. Astarion seemed to be recovering because he made some snarky comment at Wyll's dancing skills. Said he always dreamt of marrying a handsome prince charming like Wyll as a kid - making everyone burst out in laughter. Wyll offered to dance with him in return and Astarion turned him down saying he was afraid of being stepped on. After which a funny banter followed.

All was not as bad as it could be. 

"You seem to be all better, Astarion. Good to see, soldier. It's all thanks to Halsin's medicine that our dear captain so diligently put on you all night" Karlach beamed, gesturing to you. You felt like a deer in the spotlight. "Ah no no no, I hardly -- " "Of course you did, you followed my instructions perfectly" chimed in Halsin, unhelpfully. 

You looked down to the ground blushing. You didn't want to look at Astarion. At this point you may as well hold a sign saying you love him, you thought. "Thank you. Captain." Astarion returned, in a solemn and deep voice. "I owe you my life". "Again." You were sure he said that last word, or did he. It was said very softly, almost to himself.

Everyone was able to march forwards again.

In the underdark the next day, Shadowheart and Karlach were chatting. You wondered if Shadowheart and Astarion had found their way to each other again. You hoped they did. You did not want to come in between real love. "You know, I have a spent time in a crypt. But the underdark, still unsettles me". What? 

Astarion had caught up with you. 

He was trying to make conversation! You were surprised. "Are you still feeling unwell? Maybe you thought I was someone else?". You blurted out unwittingly. Half joking, but also, not. "Why would you say that? I was perfectly aware who I was walking upto to have an idle chatter with. If you are not interested... however" He feigned being hurt. "You never talk to me, Astarion. This feels very, not normal. Why now?". You were genuinely curious. 

"Do I not?" He seemed hurt. 

"We haven't spoken a word except last night in the past week". You reminded him, pettily. " I had, a few things to sort through, in my head." He said, a bit distant. "But I feel much better today. Both in body and in mind". "That is very good to hear. We were all worried that night. You were close to falling in the water". 

You two then talked a fair bit. 

About the incident, about his time as a magistrate in Baldurs gate. A few things about Cazador. You felt there was more to the Cazador story than he let on. But that would have to wait. You were in combat again. 

You started with your back to his back. 

You had never fought this way before. You felt safer. You cancelled someone trying to cast a spell on the party. Then at one point, while you were momentarily distracted, you saw two hands on either side of you, cast 'ignis' from behind you, as hot flames burst forth. It was so warm for a moment. Not just from the spell but his breathy voice right behind you as he took down your enemy for you. 

His face was so close to you. 

"Look out!" You were so distracted by his face, you didn't see the arrows coming. Astarion turned you around while shielding you with his back that took the arrows. His armor was enough to save him but that was dangerous. "What are you doing?!," You demanded, slightly frowning since that was reckless. "Saving your distracted self. You're welcome" he snarked back. 

And whose fault is that, again. You sighed.

Fighting side by side had it's charms. It gave him advantage on his sneak attacks while you took out any enemies in range. But at one point, towards the end of the battle, you were both near a ledge, when someone set off an explosive and you both fell off. Down into the abyss. You cast feather fall to save your lives and braced for impact. 

It didn't hurt as much but you both fell in a pool of rubble dirt and dust that clouded everything. Coughing, you couldn't see in the smoke cloud and dust. The area looked precarious. As if a false step or loud sound would make you go crashing further. Astarion was a few feet away. Coughing.

He crawled towards you. "Are you okay"? 

A wooden beam seemed to fall towards you as you looked up. Your mind went blank. You Eldritch blasted it and realized it splattered into a hundred splinters that were now raining down on you. In an instant, Astarion was on you. Fully armored. And he shielded you from the worst of them. You on your back, him on all fours, protecting you.

"What are you doing?" 

You were genuinely angry. Why does he keep putting himself in danger for you! Those splinters were not enough to hurt you badly, and you did not need saving from something so trivial. What has gotten into him today. Being the Hero. Didn't he find the idea repulsive? You couldn't understand this man. He definitely disapproved of a lot of your more benevolent choices in the past. And now look at who is being the Hero.

Hypocrite.

You expected him to say he was saving you, and you had your reply ready in your head. That you would have survived just fine. You just needed to remember the right spell. 

"I'm being ... grateful". 

Is what he said. What? You looked into his eyes. Once again, his face, was very close to yours. "You are a handful. You know that"? He quipped. You were offended. "Excuse me - I cast feath -- " His lips were on yours. He sucked and pulled on your lower lip before parting. 

"I -- wa --- " 

"Shut up" and he kissed you again. Several times. Quick, rash and hurried. His tongue found yours. You had no time to breathe. Your mind was going blank again. Why does this man do this to you every time. You put your arms around him without thinking when a voice rang out. "You guys ok down there? " Karlach's voice ran out from above. 

He tore away instantly.

"Yes! " He promptly got away and waved "we are here!!" "I saved her but now we need help getting out". "You didn't save ---" " Shut up or I will kiss you again". It wasn't the warning that shut you up. But the shock at what was happening... You just stared at him wide eyed. "If you don't believe me, why don't you test me" he smirked. He helped you up. The party had thrown a rope ladder down to you two. 

After you. He said.

You held the rope. No, after you. "I'm afraid, my love, that can't be helped" he stood behind you and tugged at the rope to check its strength, he was so close again. "I need to keep my eyes on you darling. " He smirked again as he leaned in and kissed you again. This one was longer and more tender. "For the journey back up, my dear. Who knows when I can tear you away again".

His hand was on your stomach. Tantalizingly close to your breasts. "I would like to savor you more ....later" He said in a very low voice, next to your ears, almost in a whisper. Your head tilted back, he planted one more kiss on your lips and let you go. You gripped the rope hard. Your heard pounding from the kisses he lavished on you. 

You tried to focus on the task at hand, and made your way up, slowly. Looking back down every now and again as he smiled up at you.

You resolved to end this turmoil soon.

Back up reunited, you decided to stay with the others the rest of the day. That didn't prevent him from catching your eye and flashing his smile at you every chance he got. You turned away, cheeks flushed and confused, every time.

Back at camp that night, you tore away from everyone, to sort your thoughts through before confronting him. You found a secluded pool, so you stripped to your inners and went in the cool water. You were still uncomfortable being completely naked in the wilderness. Made you feel, vulnerable. Besides - who knew if someone was lurking. These woods were filled with thieves, bandits...vampires.

"There you are, darling. "

Shocked, you turned to see him. "How did you -". He smirked. "Why, I can smell your sweet blood miles away. Did you forget, I'm a... vampire" he winked. You were infuriated - not a moment's peace with this man around. You should have washed your wounds faster. Years of being a predator has given him perfect stalking skills it seemed. Fine. Might as well get it done with. You braced yourself.

Astarion stripped down and got into the water.

Part VIII : Your blood like wine, invites me in.

[layce2015]

The Boys (Soldier Boy x Female!Supe!Reader)

Chapter 8: The Intense White-Hot Wild

First Chapter / Previous Chapter

*3rd Person POV*

Hughie sat in the living room of Legend’s cabin, cleaning his ear with a rag as he stares at a plate of pizza rolls. He removes the rag and sees black ooze on it, which had been coming out of his ears after taking Temp V same goes for Butcher. Hughie sighs as he sets the rag down while Butcher walks in.

“Where's Soldier Boy and Mystic Shade?” He asked Hughie. “You mean, ever since Soldier Boy told us he was supposed to kill his own son? He locked himself and Mystic in the bedroom with a bottle of Old Granddad.” Hughie said as he cleans his ears again. “Well, Homelander ain't really his son, and he knows it.” Butcher said, firmly, just as Soldier Boy and Mystic Shade come in the room.

Soldier Boy had a glass of milk in one hand and in the other hand he had a can of Coke-Cola. Butcher turns to them as Soldier Boy pours the can of soda into the milk. “All right, let's be off then, eh? We'll swing by the office and grab some more V. And then Hughie will jump us to where the cսոts are.” Butcher said as he puts on his jacket and Soldier Boy takes a drink of his concoction while Mystic Shade stood by the doorway, leaning against the frame.

”We do Noir and Homelander. And we're finished. Right?” Butcher asked the two Supes. Soldier Boy looked between the two men with a look of confliction before he walks and turns away, walking out of the room. Mystic looks over at him then to Butcher and Hughie. 

“So, once this is all done, you’ll leave us alone?” Mystic Shade asked Butcher. “Of course, love. Once those two are out of the way, you and Soldier Boy can go on your merry way.” Butcher said and Mystic smirks alittle. “Good…” she said as she walks up to them and gives them a serious look, Hughie jerks back alittle at this. “Because if either of you do any funny business, it will be the last fuck up you two will ever do. Am I clear?” She asked, her voice stern and serious.

“As a bell.” Butcher said, in a steady voice, while Hughie looked a scared beyond belief. “Good.” Mystic Shade said before she turns away from them and leaves.

Later, they stopped at a gas station to get some fuel. Mystic Shade was sitting up in the backseat of Butcher’s car, her head leaning against the window as she was resting. Ben was lying down in the backseat, his head on her lap. The two of them were still kinda dealing with a hangover as last night all they did was drink, talk and reminisce….and maybe gone a couple rounds of drunk sex.

Meanwhile, Hughie and Butcher were inside the gas station. Hughie was in the bathroom while Butcher stood outside, making a decision. Starlight called him last night and told him that she found out that after taking over five doses of Temp V, it will kill them. Her words had circled his head and he decided he didn’t want Hughie a part of this anymore. Hughie was too good for this, he doesn’t deserve to have his life thrown away over something that wasn’t really his fight.

This was Butcher’s fight and his alone.

The toilet flushes and the sound of the sink sounds out as Butcher looks around himself, making sure nobody is watching. A second later, Hughie opens the door and stops when he sees Butcher in front of him. “Hey, uh...” Hughie said and he holds up the bathroom keys, which was attached to a car rim. 

“You really are the spitting image of my little brother.” Butcher said to Hughie, who furrows his brow in confusion. “What?” he asked and Butcher punches him across the face, knocking him out. Hughie falls back then Butcher pushes him back into the bathroom and shuts the door before leaving him behind.

Minutes later, Soldier Boy and Mystic Shade wake up to see that the car was moving, Butcher driving along. Soldier Boy sits up, groaning, as Mystic rubs the sleep out of her eyes. “Oh, there they are.” Butcher said and the Supes noticed Hughie was gone. “Where's the cսm guzzler?” Soldier Boy asked and Mystic elbows his side. “Ben.” She mutters, exasperated.

”You were spot-on about him. There I was, filling up the motor, I turn around, the little git had done a runner.” Butcher said. “We needed him to get near Noir.” Soldier Boy said. “Ah, don't you worry about that, guv. I got it all worked out.” Butcher assures them as he looks at them through the rear view mirror. Soldier Boy and Mystic Shade share a look before Soldier Boy shrugs.

”Wake me when we get to New York.” He said and he lays back down and places his head on Mystic’s lap again. She looks down at him and runs her fingers through his hair, soothingly, as Butcher keeps on driving down the highway.

*(y/n)’s POV*

That night, we made it to Butcher’s office and he was digging around his desk for maps and I guess more of that Temp V. Ben had found a bottle of alcohol and opens it then the scent of the drink hit him. “Whoa...that brings me back. Used to sneak my dad's Manhattans when I was a kid.” Ben said as he pours a couple of glasses. “I didn't have to nick nothin' from my old man. He used to get me and me little brother lagered just for the hell of it.” Butcher said as he continued to dig in his desk.

”Well, I got to admit, that does sound funny.” Ben chuckles and I shoot a glare at him then he looks away before handing me a glass. “The old man still around?” I asked Butcher as I take the glass and sip on it. “Arse cancer. Shitting his guts out as we speak, one hopes.” Butcher said as his phone buzzes and he looks at it then rejects whoever was calling him.

”You ever see The Soldier Boy Story?” Ben asked him. “Must've missed it.” Butcher said as he takes his phone apart. “It's a classic. We lost Best Picture to An American in Paris that year. At least I got to ass-fuck Jane Wyman in the coat check.” Ben said and I rolled my eyes. “About a poor kid from the streets of South Philly. Discovers he's got incredible powers to match his...heart of gold. It's all bullshit.” Ben said as Butcher grabs himself a glass.

”Blimey, you don't say?” He said, sarcastically, and I did chuckle a bit at this. “Actually my father owned half the steel mills in the state. I went to boarding school. Got kicked out of boarding school. Because I was a fuck-up. But he made sure I knew it.” Ben explains as he sits down in a chair across from Butcher’s desk. “Use the belt, did he?” Butcher asked. “Never laid a hand on me. He couldn't be bothered. Said I was a disappointment. Not good enough to carry his name.” Ben said and he smirks, sarcastically, alittle before he scoffs, softly.

”So I went to his golf buddies in the War Department, and they get me into Dr. Vought's Compound V trials. I became a superhero. Strongest man alive. Fսcking ticker tape parades when I came home.” Ben said. “And what did the old man say then?” Butcher asked him as he takes a drink from his glass. “Ah.” Ben said as he smiles and points at him. “He said I took a shortcut. That a real man wouldn't have cheated.” Ben said as his smile disappears then he looks down.

I remember when he told me what his father said, I felt sorry for Ben. His father sounded like a cruel man. I never met him, Ben basically cut ties with his father at the same time I cut ties with Adam.

”What about you, love? Got a true story to tell us?” Butcher asked me as I look up at him. “Honestly, I think between the three of us, I’m the most normal when it comes to issues with fathers or mothers. My father and mother had normal jobs, my father a banker and my mother a nurse.” I explained and I take a sip of my drink again. “But then things went wrong when I turned seventeen. My father was gunned down by some robbers and my mother died from a broken heart sometime after that. I was left alone.” I said and I bite my lips as the image of my mother’s frail body appeared in my mind.

”And then it seemed my life turned around when I met Adam. He showered me with love and affection, told me everything I wanted to hear at that time. We got married after about a year. Then a few years later, he tricked me.” I said and Butcher gives me a curious look. “Tricked you?” He asked and I nodded. “Basically, he set up a fake doctor’s appointment for me when really it was to stick Compound V into me. To get rich and famous.” I said. “And why didn’t he take it himself?” Butcher asked and I shrugged. “I guess since they had Philly boy here….” I said as I walk behind Ben and pat his shoulder. “They wanted a female counterpart. Vought, I guess, saw potential in me and wanted me to fill that role. We didn’t know about Liberty, or Stormfront as you knew her as.”

”And what happened to Adam? Clearly you’re not with him anymore.” Butcher said and Ben looks up at me with a smirk. “Few months after I got powers, he divorced me. He thought I was cheating on him with Ben. I don’t know if you’ve seen the picture of us getting off the plane after the war was over.” I said and Butcher thinks for a moment then nods. “Well, when that picture of me and Ben kissing got to the papers, Adam was none too happy. And for the record, I wasn’t cheating on Adam. Ben initiated the kiss first.” I said. “Hey, you complained about him and I hated seeing you look miserable, you needed out of that. Plus, you didn't reject me.” Ben said and I roll my eyes at this but I smiled.

”But yeah, that’s my story.” I said as I take a huge gulp of the drink, quenching my thirst. “Whatever happened to him?” Butcher asked me. “Last I heard, he remarried sometime after we divorced, had kids and then um….I believe he died in the sixties.” I said and I bite my lips and shake my head.

“What about you, you got kids?” Ben asked Butcher. “It's complicated.” Butcher replied. “I always assumed I had a few out there. Somewhere. I always wanted 'em. 'Cause I thought I could do it better than my father did.” Ben said then he looks over at me. “Homelander ain't yours. Not really.” Butcher tells him. “He's the only blood I've got left.” Ben pointed out.

”It don't matter. You didn't name him, didn't raise him. Vought grew him in a fսcking test tube to take your place. He's the fսcking reason they left you to rot with the Ivans.” Butcher said as Ben looks down. “Look, mate. We had a deal.” Butcher said, in a firm tone, and Ben takes a the last gulp of his drink then clucks tongue. “I'm gonna get some air.” He said as he stands up. He walks over to a table, sets his glass down and walks out of the room.

After a few moments, I sigh and walk out of the room to look for Ben, then I found him in an empty room, looking out the window. I cautiously walk into the room before going up to him. “Ben?” I said, softly, as he continues to look out the window. “Hey, talk to me. What are you thinking about?” I asked him, trying to sound comforting. He continues to glare out the window, into the many lite buildings below us and the many headlights rushing by on the streets.

”He’s asking me to kill my son. I know I didn’t raise him but…” Ben stops then sighs as he shakes his head. “What do you think?” Ben asked me and I raise an eyebrow at this. “What do you mean?” I asked him. “You know more about him than I do…what’s he like?” He asked me and I sigh at this.

”He’s an egotistical asshole, that much I could tell by watching him on the TV.” I said then I bite my lips. “But Maeve, who’s in the Seven with him, she’s told me a lot of shit he’s done. And from what I can tell, he’s the worst of all.” I said. Ben looks way, contemplating what I said before I speak again. “I know this is hard. But no one is safe as long as Homelander is still alive. If we don’t take him down tonight, then more innocent people are gonna die.” I tell him and Ben sighs.

He stands there and looks out the window, I raise a hand and place it on his shoulder. Ben looks down at me and was about to speak until we heard shouting down the hall. We make our way and follow the noise to hear people talking then someone shouts at someone, I then realized the noise was coming from Butcher’s office.

“Butcher's right. Homelander needs to die. That's it. Whatever it takes.” I hear Maeve’s voice says and this gave me pause. Butcher said told me she was dead, I guess whatever happened, she got out. “I really thought that deep down you were a hero.” A young female voice said. “Well, you were wrong. There's no such thing.” Maeve said as we get closer to the door. “This is not gonna happen.” The female voice said, angrily, and the lights start to flicker. “Annie, I don't want to hurt you.” Maeve said, in a warning tone.

“But we will.” Ben said as we get to the doorway of the office and see Hughie, Maeve, Starlight and Butcher’s friends he told us about all standing in the room. They all look at us, surprised, before Butcher speaks. “All right, you lot. In the safe.” He commands and Hughie looks at him.

”Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey.” He said, worried. “In the safe.” Butcher commands again and everyone looks at him then to me and Ben, who starts to reach for his knife. Then Starlight looks around at the others. “Let's go.” She mutters and Hughie scoffs as the large black man, M.M. I believe Hughie told me was his name, glares at me and Ben. “Hey, not now. Not like this.” Starlight tells him and he and the others go into the safe and Maeve shuts the door on them.

“All right, well...Tinkerbell needs power for her powers.” Butcher said as he goes to the power switch after we got ready. Then he flips the down and the power goes off.

*3rd Person POV*

“The prisoners you liberated here, most of them were nearly dead. They owe you their lives.” The interviewer said as Soldier Boy and Mystic Shade appear on the screen. Homelander was watching an old interview of theirs on a laptop as he waits in the TV station section of Vought Tower.

”We’re not here to take credit. These boys here, they're the real heroes.” Soldier Boy said as he gestures to the men behind him. “What the Jerries did here is unforgivable. But we promise you, we’re gonna serve them up some good old-fashioned American justice.” Mystic Shade said and Homelander smiles at the footage. He always looked up to Soldier Boy and, truth be told, he was envious of the relationship Soldier Boy and Mystic Shade had.

He thought he had that when he and Maeve were together but that didn’t last long. And then with Stormfront…well…that ended in shit as well.

At that moment, Homelander heard footsteps but he didn’t turn as he knew who it was. “Scorched earth, eh, William?” He asked as Butcher, Maeve, Soldier Boy and Mystic Shade enter the room. “Scorched earth.” Butcher confirmed.

”Where's Noir?” Soldier Boy asked. “He's dead. I killed him.” Homelander replied as he turns to them. “Why?” Ben asked him. “Because he didn't tell me about you. I'm alone. I just want to talk.” Homelander said as he spreads his arms out. “I know what it's like to have your team betray you. But with you and I together...they wouldn't stand a chance. Nobody would.” He said and Ben thinks on this and shrugs.

”Unless we kill each other first.” Soldier Boy said as he takes a couple of steps forward. “That's true. But why? What, because he says so? He's nothing. He's human.” Homelander chuckles. “Don't you listen to this fսcking twɑt. He ain't your kid.” Butcher said as he, Maeve and Mystic take a couple of steps forward. “Yes, I am. I am your son. I am your blood. That's all that matters.” Homelander growls. “Maybe.” Soldier Boy mutters and Homelander goes over a door while Mystic takes Soldier Boy’s hand in hers.

Homelander opens the door and Ryan comes out, Butcher looking at him in shock. “Ryan.” Butcher whispers as Homelander brings Ryan up to Soldier Boy. “This is my son. Ryan. Your grandson.” Homelander said to him and Soldier Boy has different emotions flowing through mind as he looks at the young boy.

”Hi, Grandpa.” Ryan greets, softly, and Soldier Boy looks away and towards Mystic Shade, who was just as shocked as him. “You see? You have a family. You have him. And you have me.” Homelander said and Soldier Boy chuckles softly. “It's a shame that I've missed...so much. I wish I could've raised you...and taught you, father to son.” Soldier Boy said as he takes his hand out of Mystic’s and walks up to Homelander. Mystic and Maeve share a worried look.

”Me too. That's okay. We're not alone anymore. We have each other.” Homelander whispers, his voice shaking with tears then Soldier Boy places a hand on his shoulder. “Maybe if I'd raised you...I could've made you better. And not some weak, sniveling pussy, starved for attention. But there's no fixing that now.” Soldier Boy said as Butcher and Maeve smile.

“Weak? I'm you.” Homelander said to him, confused. “I know. You're a fսcking disappointment.” Soldier Boy whispers, shakily, and he grabs Homelander’s neck. “Leave him alone!” Ryan shouts as Butcher and Maeve go to Homelander and grab his arms. “Get out of here, Ryan!” Butcher tells him. “Please, stop!” Ryan pleads as he tries to shove Butcher away. “Get out of the building! Now!” Butcher tells him. “Butcher, stop! Please!” Ryan said and Mystic Shade goes over to Ryan.

”C’mon, kid. Let’s go!” She said as she starts to drag him away but he struggles and fights as Soldier Boy’s chest begins to glow. “You can't do this. Don't do this. Don't do this. Don't.” Homelander pleads to Soldier Boy. “Kid, come on!” Mystic said as she drags Ryan away but Ryan was able to get out of her grasp and his eyes glow red.

Before Mystic could react, Ryan uses his laser eyes on her, making her fly back and crash into a wall. The light diminishes from Soldier Boy’s chest as he looks over and sees Mystic crashing into the wall, his heart dropped at this then he glares at Ryan.

“Ryan, get back upstairs. Right now.” Homelander exclaims as Soldier Boy lets go of him then turns and slams his shield into Ryan, making him fly back and hit a bookshelf. “Ryan!” Homelander exclaimed as he runs to his son, checking on him as he sees a cut on the kid’s forehead. “You little shit.” Soldier Boy growls and his chest begins to glow while Butcher looks over at Soldier Boy then to Maeve, who had a look that said Don’t think about it.

“Ryan. Hey.” Homelander pleads as Ryan was knocked out cold. Butcher then made his decision and used his laser eyes on Soldier Boy, who reacted quickly and brings up his shield to protect himself from the laser. Homelander then turns around and uses his laser eyes and both he and Butcher knock Soldier Boy into the news station. 

The two men share a look before Homelander turns to Ryan and Butcher goes to Soldier Boy. “What the fսck are you doing?” Soldier Boy asked Butcher as he stands up. “Not the kid.” Butcher said. “Oh, I thought you said blood didn't matter. Thought that was the whole fսcking point.” Soldier Boy exclaimed. “He's my wife's son.” Butcher admits and Soldier Boy gets a confused look.

”Wait, Homelander fսckеd your wife? And you want to save the brat? The hell's wrong with you?” Soldier Boy asked him, confused.  “I made a promise.” Butcher said. “So this is it. Everything you wanted...He's right fսcking there...And now you blink?” Soldier Boy asked, angrily. “Stand down.” Butcher commanded. “Fuck you.” Soldier Boy yells as he glares at Butcher. “You're weaker than he is.” He said and the two men begin to fight.

They punch and kick at each other while Maeve and Homelander start fighting in the other room. Butcher punches Soldier Boy in the leg, the chest and then uppercuts him before he grabs his neck and lasers him in the face. 

Suddenly, a rope wraps around Butcher’s neck and pulls him back. Then it flings him over to where he lands on the desk. Soldier Boy looks over to see Mystic Shade standing nearby, her eyes glowing electric blue. Soldier Boy looks over at her and gives her a Are You Okay? look, she nods, assuredly, and he returns the nod as he grabs his shield then walks over to Butcher.

Still a bit dazed, Butcher opens his eyes and looks up to see Soldier Boy looming over him, raising his shield up high and aimed towards his head. “Ben…” Mystic called out and Soldier Boy stops. “Let’s just get out of here, go home.” She said as Soldier Boy looks down at Butcher, who was staring at the shield in fear. “He made his bed, now he can lay in it.” Mystic said as she gestures to Butcher.

Soldier Boy considers what she was saying until there was a couple of loud gunshots sound out. One hits Soldier Boy and the other hits Mystic Shade, didn’t cause any harm just stunned them. They turn around and see M.M. and Starlight had come in and M.M. was firing with a gun while Starlight uses her light powers at the two Supes.

Mystic Shade and Soldier Boy get into a stance as he holds up his shield and Mystic uses her shield powers as Butcher gets up. Starlight was firing balls of light at Mystic and Soldier Boy but Mystic’s shield was able to hold those lights back. Mystic tries to use her telekinetic powers to throw debris at Starlight but she dodges or uses her power to blast the debris while Soldier Boy fights off Butcher.

Starlight was able to get behind Mystic and was about to use her power but Soldier comes up and swings his shield at her, knocking her up into a wall then falls on the ground.

Butcher uses his laser eyes and Soldier Boy uses his shield to block the laser. Butcher walks closer as he keeps using the laser eyes until he got close and punches the shield, causing it to break in pieces. “Yeah! Fuck your shield, bitch.” M.M. exclaims, excitedly. Soldier Boy gives a hard, angry glare at Butcher and tosses the piece of shield he held onto aside then he and Butcher fight. Meanwhile, Mystic waves her hands and M.M. was grabbed by some ropes around his middle and thrown against the wall.

Soldier Boy ended up getting the upper hand as he punches Butcher several times in the face then he grabs him and throws him across the room, knocking him out. Kimiko comes in, carrying a container. It was the gas Frenchie was able to whip up quickly that was gonna knock Soldier Boy out since Maeve threw out the one Frenchie had worked on for awhile.

Kimiko tries to run at Soldier Boy but then a cable wrapped around her neck and it throws her aside, Soldier Boy looks over at Mystic and nods in appreciation. Then Starlight stands up as Soldier Boy and Mystic Shade turn to her. Her eyes glow gold as she gets ready to fight them.

Suddenly, the lights began to glow brighter thanks to Hughie, who was in the control room and cranking the lights up to the highest level they could go. Starlight’s eyes and hands glow as she slowly starts to rise up as the lights were making her more powerful. 

Soldier Boy and Mystic Shade look at each other, as if having a silent conversation, before he nods to Mystic. Starlight then raises her hands and goes to blast at the two but Mystic raises her own hands and shielded them from her blast. But it seemed the light blast was a lot stronger than Mystic anticipated as it stayed blocked for a few seconds before it breaks through the barrier of her force field and knocks Mystic and Soldier Boy back.

Starlight falls down on her side as Soldier Boy starts to sit up. But it seemed the blast took an effect on Mystic as she is knocked out. Soldier Boy stands up and looks down at her then starts to worry about her. But before he could do anything, M.M. jumps on his back as Kimiko and Starlight grab his arms. Then M.M. places the gas mask over Soldier Boy’s mouth and nose and that’s when the Supe starts to panic as he screams, grunts and growls.

“You ain't no hero. You're just another racist piece of shit we can't seem to get rid of. This is for my family.” M.M. sneers as Soldier Boy groans then his chest starts to glow just as Mystic starts to wake up. “I'm not going back in that fսcking box!” Soldier Boy growls, it seemed the gas wasn’t working.

“What the fuck are you guys doing?!” Mystic exclaims as she starts to come to and sits up. Butcher stands up and sees this then sees Ryan walking out. “You'll kill everyone.” Starlight said to Soldier Boy as he begins to power up. Butcher runs over to Ryan and goes to shield him while Mystic waves both of her hands and multiple cables and ropes grab on to Starlight, Kimiko and M.M. and yank them off of Soldier Boy as the light in his chest grows brighter.

Meanwhile, Maeve and Homelander have been duking it out during all of this even to the point where Homelander shoved his thumb into Maeve’s right eye, blinding her. But she was able to grab a steel cylinder and shove it in Homelander’s ear, dazing him, just as she looks over to see Soldier Boy turning to Starlight, M.M. and Kimiko, smoke starts to come out of him and the light gets even brighter.

”Ben!” Mystic shouts as Maeve looks at Starlight then sighs. “Shit.” She grumbles then she punches Homelander in the chest then runs over to Soldier Boy, grabs him and the both of them fly out of the building. Then a few seconds later, there was a loud explosion and then silence before they hear some car horns in the distance.

Starlight and M.M. walk towards the window that they flew out of and look below to see nothing. Then Hughie runs in and embraces Starlight just as Frenchie comes in and Kimiko and M.M. pat his shoulder. Mystic Shade looks down, in sorrow, at the ground as she contemplates what just happened.

Butcher looks down at Ryan, who starts to stand up. “Are you hurt? Ryan, look at me.” Butcher asked him but Ryan wasn’t looking at him as he was looking over his shoulder. Butcher turns to look as does everyone to see Homelander walking towards Butcher, not looking pleased.

“Dad...I want to go.” Ryan said to Homelander as he walks up to him. “Let's leave. Please. I want to leave.” Ryan pleads to his father, who continues to glare at Butcher, but then looks down at his son. “Ryan. Please.” Butcher pleads but Ryan takes Homelander’s hand and the two of them walk out of the station.

Butcher looks down in defeat and the gang all look worried at this until they heard a small humorless laugh then a slow clapping sounds. Everyone looks over to see that it was Mystic Shade as she shakes her head with a fake smile. “Well congratulations on being the world’s biggest fuck ups.” She said and everyone glares at her while Butcher looks defeated and Hughie has a worried look on his face.

”Thanks to you dumbasses, Homelander seems to have gotten what he wants and you’ve lost that kid forever. Now that is gonna make him more dangerous than he ever was before.” Mystic Shade said before she starts to get angry. “I mean, seriously?! Stopping Ben was a higher priority than Homelander? Way to go with the brilliant ideas, you fuckers.”

”He had to be stopped, he was a murderer. He’s killed countless people.” Starlight argued and Mystic Shade scoffs. “And your boss hasn’t?” Mystic asked and Starlight narrows her eyes. “I mean, if I recall, didn’t he let a plane full of people go down?” She asked and Starlight seemed alittle surprised she knows that. “Maeve told me about that little thing you two kept dangling over his head.” Mystic said. “And tell me this, cause I know this is bullshit, but that friend of yours, SonicWave….did Homelander kill him?”

Starlight’s jaw sets and she looks away then Mystic smirks and scoffs again before looking at Butcher. “And you, Butcher, this was all your idea. To take Homelander down cause you believed he needed to be taken down…oh, and apparently, he fucked your wife and had that kid with her. Which now said kid, you were trying to protect is now driven into the arms of your enemy.” Mystic said and Butcher looks up at her before he turns his head away.

”Pathetic. All of you.” She growls and Starlight’s eyes start glowing gold again. “Oh, don’t fucking start, Sparky.” Mystic groans then Hughie grabs Starlight's arm. “Mystic, I like you but you gotta admit…your boyfriend is really fucking crazy in his own right.” Hughie said and Mystic gives a small, sarcastic smile. “On the surface, yes he is. But don’t pretend like you know who Soldier Boy is when all you have to go off of is rumors and stories.” She said.

Mystic looks down then sighs before she looks back at everyone. “You think all Supes and Vought are bad, you people are no different from them.” Mystic sneers at them and they all look at her, shocked. She then starts to walk out. But once she gets to Butcher, she stops and turns her head to him. “I hope the kid was worth it, Butcher.” She mutters to him then she heads to the door.

But once she gets to the door, she stops then turns to the others as she had one more thing to say. “You all had your chance to stop Homelander and you threw it away. From this day forth, anyone that Homelander kills…it’s on you fuckers.” She proclaims then leaves as everyone looks around at everybody, considering what she said. Butcher felt lightheaded and raised his hand up to his nose to see some black ooze was coming out of his nose and then he passes out and falls to the floor.

Soldier Boy groans as he slowly opens his eyes, his vision blurry and his head was swimming. He moves his head around, slowly, and try to take in his surroundings, which looked like he was in an alleyway. He was then able to see a couple of figures coming towards him. “He’s here. We got him.” He hears a voice say. His vision clears up a little and he sees that the two figures were men in armor. 

He tries to get up but then the men were slammed up against the wall a few times before they pass out. Soldier Boy sits up slowly as another figure walks up to him, but this one being female. “Ben!” A familiar voice calls out and he realized that it was Mystic Shade. “(Y/n)?” He said, hoarsely, as she comes up to him and kneels down next to him.

The first thing he saw of her was her beautiful (e/c) eyes then her smile. “It’s okay, Ben. I got you.” She said, softly, and she helps him up to his feet and his vision finally clears up and noticed that the men were wearing CIA gear. “Are…was that…?” He stammered to ask and Mystic nods. “We need to get out of here, fast.” She said as she takes his hand and they walk down the alleyway.

”You..saved me?” Soldier Boy asked her and she turns her head to him and smiles. “Of course I did. What kind of wife would I be to not save her husband?” She asked, teasingly, and he smiles before they stop and he leans in and gives her a kiss. “I love you.” He whispers once he breaks the kiss. “I love you too.” She said then they look around before they head out.

The next day, Bethany was watching TV, the news about Maeve’s death and how she stopped Soldier Boy. The news calling him a radicalized Russian but she didn’t believe it, she knew that was some shit as Ben acted like his normal self. But she was also worried about (y/n), she hadn’t heard from her best friend in a few days and that wasn't like her.

She sighs, sadly, then runs her hands over her eyes when the front door opens. She looks over and sees Steven walking in, holding an envelope and a look of concern on his face. “What’s wrong, honey?” She asked him. “It’s a letter…from (y/n).” He said and Bethany furrows her brow.

”What?” She said as Steven walks over to her and sits down next to her. “She hasn’t sent letters since cellphones were created.” Bethany said as Steven hands the letter to her. Bethany takes the letter, opens it and begins to read it aloud.

Bethany and Steven,

I know this is old fashion to send a letter but with everything going on, I couldn’t risk sending a text which I actually destroyed my phone. What I can tell you is don’t believe any bullshit that Vought puts out about Ben. He’s also not dead and neither is Queen Maeve. Those men you saw me and Ben with well, they betrayed us. We were supposed to take out Homelander but for some reason those men and their friends turned on me and Ben.

I’ll send another letter later to give a more detail story on that but for now just know Ben and I are safe. We are staying at a different house I had purchased years ago. It’s isolated in a small town that seems to not know who we are or were, should I say.

I’m not sure if we’ll ever reunite again, if not then this letter and the next will be my goodbye. I’ll always hold the time we had very dear to my heart. I love you two and Amelia so much and appreciate everything you guys did for me when Ben was gone. 

I do hope we see each other again but if not then I give my goodbyes to you and good luck to the rest of your life.

Love,

(y/n)

Bethany’s eyes tear up as she reads it then sniffles when she was done. Steven goes to hug her and Bethany cries in his shoulder. She understood why her friend had to do this but it still didn’t help the hurt as she really cared for (y/n) and would miss her dearly. But she will always treasure those memories forever.

Few Days Later

*(y/n)’s POV*

I walk out on the porch of the large cabin to see Ben sitting in the chair, looking out at the lake. I bought this cabin years ago to have a place whenever I wanted to get away from the hustle and bustle of the town and city. It had two rooms, a kitchen, living room and a bathroom. There was a small town a few miles away but you wouldn’t have thought that as all you could see were trees, mountains and a nice lake.

Ben turns his head to look up at me as I hand him a beer bottle. He takes it then turns his head, like he heard something. “You hear that?” He asked me and I listen for a moment and start to worry about him. It had been a few days since he had any weed or coke, so I was worried he was suffering some sort’ve withdrawn side effects. 

“Hear what?” I asked him as I take the seat next to him. “Exactly. I think this might be the first time in my life where I’ve heard complete silence.” He said, smiling with content, and I listen again, feeling calm by the silence. All I could hear was the leaves rustling in with the breeze and the sounds of rushing water from the river. “Yeah, it’s nice.” I said, smiling as well.

”I know it’s not as glamorous as the city…” I started to say but Ben shakes his head. “Nah, this is great. You picked a perfect place, sweetheart.” He said and I smiled. “Although, I gotta say, I’m still pissed at Butcher and those other motherfuckers.” Ben growls and I give a sympathetic look. “I’m just…confused and pissed off and…” he stops then sighs with an angry heavy sigh and I place a hand over his that was on his thigh.

“Hey, I’m pissed at them too but…let’s not dwell on that right now. They fucked up and whatever happens afterwards, that’s on them especially Butcher.” I assured him as he looks at me, he still had a bit of that anger in his eyes but he sighs and nods. “I’m just glad I was able to get to you before they took you away from me again.” I said and Ben gives a small smile.

”I’m glad you did too. There’s no way I’m going back in the box. Too many bad memories.” He said then he turns his gaze from me and looks down. I frown then set my beer down on the little table next to my chair and I walk over to him and sit on his lap. I wrap my arms around his shoulder and he leans his head against my chest, sets his beer down then wraps his arms around me and pulls me closer to him as if he was afraid that I’d disappear if he didn’t hold me close to him.

”It’s okay, Ben. I won’t let that happen.” I whispered, comfortingly, then I kiss the top of his head, softly, before I run my fingers through his hair while he buries his face into my chest. “I’m never letting you go. Never again.” I whispered to him. Ben was never really this vulnerable but whatever happened in Russia must’ve really shook him to his core. Yes, he did put up this whole macho man facade to hide it all, it’s how men were raised back then, but I knew something was wrong.

I just can’t imagine what he went through these last forty years at that place and I wasn’t there to save him. But now I was able to save him and I have him here safe and sound and I’m gonna do my best to help him through all of this.

”Good…because I don’t want to be anywhere else but here.” Ben said as he pulls his head back to look at me and I smile then I lean in and kiss him, lovingly.

*3rd Person POV*

Unbeknownst to the couple, out in the distance was Grace Mallory. She had her binoculars up as she looks at the cabin, towards the couple. She had seen the body cam of her two officers that were knocked in the alleyway when they were gonna grab Soldier Boy. In the cam, she was able to see Mystic Shade walking down the alleyway and help carry Soldier Boy out of the alley.

It took her a few days because the home that was under Mystic’s real name was empty and she didn’t know where Mystic went. Eventually, she was able to track down this little cabin which Mystic put it under another name which was her using her old married name from way back in the 40’s.

Mallory lowers her binoculars as she contemplates on what to do next. A strong part of her wanted to head over to them and talk to them and take Soldier Boy into custody as he is a danger. But another part of her wanted to leave them alone, Soldier Boy seemed in a calm state since he is with his girlfriend. Mystic seems to keep him calm and happy. 

Plus Mallory remembered how Mystic Shade saved her life back in Nicaragua. So she feels that her leaving Mystic and Soldier Boy is in a way to return the favor.

Mallory sighs then heads into her car as she decided to leave them alone…for now at least. With how Butcher is and the whole thing with Vought and no telling what’s gonna happen with Homelander now, she keeps this information to herself as she might call upon these two one day.

@winchestergirl1720 @deans-spinster-witch @mimaria420 @wirdbeimaufhebengebunden @kitsun369 @jesllianaquilesrolonsworld @deangirl96 @demodemo909 @cassiecasluciluce @mostlymarvelgirl @onlyangel-444 @mayafatimakhan

[somewhere-along-the-lines8468]

They were never the same.

I’m just brainrotting over the fact that the reds and blues were never the same after what happened on chorus, after church died. It’s easier to think that season 15 happened because it shows they tried to stay together but even then, they went through so much more by the end of it. Then restoration happens and they aren’t together anymore.

Wash is in the hospital, Carolina is still throwing herself in missions alone, donut is an admiral on chorus, and tucker is missing. It’s only the reds and caboose, again. Then Church comes back and so does everyone else (besides donut and doc, which DONT EVEN GET ME STAR-), so even if it was for just a moment, we got to see Lopez and Sheila, 479er, all the freelances, everyone. We were given that one last moment with all of them, one last goodbye...

But it’s so sad because even GRIFF AND SIMMONS split up

Simmons stays because he feels indebted to Sarge and doesn't know anything beyond being a simulation soldier. Telling himself it's what he wants, what he deserves.

And Griff lets go. He leaves for home because he can't hold on to the past anymore. He has to put in some actual work into his life and what makes him happy. He finally got his wish, it's almost perfect! It would've been so close to a dream come true if Simmons was able to let go too...

But. he. DOESN'T.

Then there's Tucker and Caboose. Tucker doesn’t even REMEMBER what happens and caboose has to carry the weight that HE DOES. He has the be the one to tell him everything that happened, everything that changed.

It’s so frustrating they didn’t stay together but at the same time they all got the ending they wanted.

….just in the most BITTERsweet way possible

Ain't that a bitch.

[mikhailwrites]

Get well soon / Ghost x Soap

Kinktober #17 - Sickfic

Gaz takes one look at him before the morning briefing. “Shouldn’t you be in bed or something?” Soap waves him off. It’s not that bad, he keeps telling himself. It’s not like he’s a kid anymore; he can tackle terrorists; some puny flu ain’t a problem. And it ain't, until he collapses.

Ever since he was a kid, Johnny didn’t get sick often. A hardy highland bairn and all that. But when he did, it was always bad. His joints hurt, his head pounding, his stomach was all wobbly, unable to hold anything down, and he had a fever that would make anyone worry, if not straight up calling an ambulance.

Every time, it only lasted for a few days, but it was nasty and left Johnny exhausted.

Soap hasn’t been sick in years. Since he’s made it to SAS. It was a miracle, what with all the travelling, bad weather and harsh conditions they had to endure. Yet, at the same time, they were in top shape. Johnny’s life depended on his body functioning like a well-oiled machine, and he made every effort to keep it that way.

That’s why he is surprised – no – shocked when he wakes up with a sore throat, achy joints and a headache. They haven’t been deployed for several weeks, so it’s only typical British winter; wet and freezing - he has to deal with. There’s no way it is bringing him down, especially right before his leave to spend Christmas with his parents and siblings in Scotland.

Unless, of course, it is and in a rather spectacular manner at that. Gaz takes one look at him before the morning briefing. “Shouldn’t you be in bed or something?” Soap waves him off. It’s not that bad, he keeps telling himself. It’s not like he’s a kid anymore; he can tackle terrorists; some puny flu ain’t a problem.

When he’s lucky to make it to the bathroom before he throws up his lunch, he starts to have some doubts. Still, he has duties to attend to and no time to be sick. Who else is going to harass some poor recruits? And the damn paperwork isn’t going to fill and sign by itself.

He soldiers on as usual, with the sole example of skipping the gym; Soap is happy he’s able to drag his sorry arse about. No way he could lift any weight like this. Some bloke in the mess hall makes an off-handed comment about Soap looking like shit. Soap ignores it, which gets him a bunch of raised eyebrows. Soap has a reputation as someone you don’t want to mess with.

Today, he only grunts out some half-hearted insult as he goes about his business. Unaware of a pair of brown eyes watching him intently from behind the skull mask.

It only gets worse from there. The headache is absolutely killing him, no matter the amount of painkillers he’s already had. The bad knee aches and itches and twitches, making him even more fidgety than usual. Soap is also reasonably sure he’s running a fever. He should drink a lot of water. Would, too, if not for his damn upset stomach. He’s downright miserable.

He stands in the rain, raincoat doing nothing to keep the humid air from clinging to him. He’s so cold, shivering like a bloody chihuahua. Looking at his watch, Soap sighs. Still an hour to go. “No slacking off, keep up!” he hollers at the recruits who are drenched in rain and mud. At least he’ll be done for the day. Sweet Jesus, how he looks forward to his bed! Soap daydreams for a second, imagining the warm blanket and the quiet to soothe his headache.

Blinking the image away, he sees one of the recruits struggle behind. Soap is ready to go to him and make him do at least fifty mud-kissing push-ups. He takes a step forward and pauses as the world spins around him. Johnny takes a deep breath, trying to keep his balance. It only makes it worse, somehow. He needs to sit down but is far too unstable to attempt it. Instead, he stands there, praying the dizziness would go away. He can wait it out; he can do it. The moment his vision darkens, and the low hum fills his ears, he knows he’s fucked. And there’s nothing he can do.

The last thought to go through his head is that the nice thing about passing out is that you’re not present to the embarrassment of it.

He wakes up and, for a fleeting moment, thinks he’s feeling much better. It’s a lie. A few seconds later, his hand shoots to his forehead, clutching at it and moaning weekly in pain. It’s not a headache – well, it’s not just the headache. There’s something more tangible about it now.

Soap startles as someone opens his mouth and puts something small, round, bitter and disgusting on his tongue. Then, he feels the cold, hard edge of the glass being pressed against his lower lip. Someone cups the back of his head to steady him, but it hurts, and he tries to make it stop, so Soap tries to turn away. The hand simply grabs a handful of his mohawk and forces him to stay in place as the glass is carefully pitched, and he’s gulping down a bit of cool water along with the pills. There’s some more water being slowly poured into his mouth in small increments, and, finally, his head is laid back on the pillow.

Johnny waits before he tries to open his eyes. It’s thankfully dark in the room, the blinders shut, lights off except for the small desk lamp; its light warm and soft enough for him to bear with it.

He turns his head, surprised to see Ghost there. “You’re an idiot,” Ghost says in the most flat way imaginable. “You knew you were sick and just kept pushing yourself.”

“It was fine... until it wasn’t,” Johnny sighs, his voice a whisper, as he wants to avoid overusing his throat out of fear of a coughing fit.

“Yeah, genius, it usually is,” Ghost stands so abruptly that Soap thinks for a second he’s going to hurt him. Instead, he leaves, leaving Johnny alone, confused and unable to process what just happened. Not with how his brain is mushed with the fatigue and a fever.

When he wakes up again, he actually feels much better. The headache is gone, leaving behind a different kind of pain. Gingerly touching the back of his head, Soap figures he must’ve hit it when he collapsed. His throat is still sore, and he feels awfully weak but still a lot better. Whatever the pills Ghost gave him, they worked.

As is often the case, he must’ve summoned Simon with his thoughts because there’s a soft knock, a brief pause, and then Simon enters. He’s lost the jacket and traded the mask for a balaclava. Moreover, he’s holding two cups of what’s presumably a tea and has a book tucked under his arm.

Setting the cups down and sitting on the chair by Johnny’s bed, he looks much softer than the last time. “How are you feeling?”

“Better... the pills worked,” Soap rasps, his voice rough. Almost like Simon’s, he realises.

“Good. Here, drink this,” he nudges the cup to Johnny. On second glance, only Simon’s has tea; Soap’s is something else. “It’s supposed to help with the fever and sore throat.”

Johnny takes the cup, cradling it against his chest. Who would’ve thought that infamous Ghost could be so sweet? “Thank you, LT.”

The drink is vile. Sour and weirdly sweet, with a hint of bitterness and tastes like about the half of “My First Chemistry Kit” mixed together. Soap forces it down his throat, nearly choking on it. Setting the cup down, he focuses on Ghost, who opens his book.

“You don’t have to stand guard by my bedside, Ghost. I’ll probably not die of cold,” Soap smiles.

Ghost doesn’t say anything for a while. It’s obvious he’s hesitating about something. Soap, for once, doesn’t push him. “Do you want me to go?”

“No... I just... didn’t want you to feel obliged or something,” Johnny hurriedly clarifies. Having Ghost here is nice. Not being alone, feeling like he’s cared for.

“I saw it... when you passed out,” Ghost admits, closing his book and setting it aside. There’s something about his voice that makes Johnny focus more. For a moment, his thoughts clarify enough to offer a possibility. Ghost was worried about him.

Soap blinks a few times. Oh. Damn. The whole talk about Soap being an idiot suddenly makes much more sense. “I’m sorry.”

Ghost nods, his gaze intense and warm. It doesn’t look like he’s going to say anything else, so Johnny relaxes. Not for long, however, as realisation hits him. “Wait a minute. Weren’t you supposed to be up north? Checking out the newest SAS candidate batch or something?”

“I switched with Kyle,” Ghost says, way too casually for Soap not to get immediately suspicious. It’s not like Ghost to get out of the assignment, even one he might consider menial. He must notice Soap’s furrowed brows as he sighs. “Fine. I asked Kyle to cover for me so I could keep an eye on you. I knew you were being reckless and stubborn but didn’t know how far you would take it.”

Soap almost takes offence. Nearly says that he didn’t ask for a bloody nanny. Then he reconsiders because he’s laying in bed, feeling like shit, after he collapsed on the job. Creepin’ Jesus, Ghost is right. Right to call him reckless and right to keep an eye on him. “Thank you, I guess…,” Johnny mutters, averting his gaze. At least he can blame the blush on fever.

“I don’t want your thanks, I want you to do better,” Ghost says with a conviction that startles Soap a little. “I need you to do better, Johnny. I need you to have my six out there, but I can’t bloody well trust you with it when you don’t even have your own shit together, can I?”

Soap feels his jaw drop as he stares at Ghost. That’s some harsh truth right here. And it hurts something crazy because he longs for Ghost’s approval and trust. He yearns for him in a way that would get him fired from the force. “I just… didnae want tae bother anyone.”

What little can be seen of Ghost’s eyebrows disappear under the balaclava as he raises them in clear astonishment. “Didn’t want to bother anyone? You nearly gave me a heart attack, Johnny.” The way Ghost says that, the way he drops his gaze and digs his gloved hands into his knees, is stirring something in Johnny. Hope.

 Soap fidgets with the hem of the blanket out of sheer necessity to do something with his hands. There’s a lot going on in his tired, slightly delirious, overheated head. Too much not to end up in some serious trouble. “Kiss me?” He blurts out like a madman he is.

Simon’s head whips right up, eyes blown wide with shock. It’s precious to see him like this, but he regains his composure quickly. “Johnny… you’re not thinking straight.”

“Yer right aboot that,” Johnny smirks, unable to resist the call of the particularly bad pun.  He sobers up quickly. “I want it, Simon. Do ye? If not, just say the word, and we can just… blame it on the fever.”

“What I want is not important,” Simon tries to buy some time to think.

“I’m not hearing a no, Ghost,” Soap presses him on, licking his lips on purpose, just to tease the other man.

Simon huffs out a quiet laugh before he tucks the balaclava up on his nose, revealing thin, scarred lips, blond stubble and strong jaw. There’s no hesitation when he gets up from the chair slowly, leaning on the bed and closer to Johnny, whose mind is a neverending repeat of “yesyesyesyesyes…”.

Johnny angles his head up and with Simon so close, closes his eyes. He feels Simon’s breath on his face, there’s a trace of cigarette and a mint he took earlier. Johnny parts his lips slightly, waiting, waiting…

And Simon does kiss him. On the forehead. The absolute wanker!

He stays close as he says: “Let’s have this talk when you feel better.”

[mlmxreader]

Blistered and Broken | Alfie Solomons x m!reader

『••✎••』

↳ ❝ Can I request the prompt "Stop fucking swearing" With Alfie please? Thank you! ❞

: ̗̀➛ Why the fuck would anyone want to be in the trenches by choice?

: ̗̀➛ swearing, smoking, use of "fag" as a slang term for cigarette, graphic depictions of war & injury, eye trauma, facial trauma, toxic gas, bombing.

↳ if you can, please consider giving to Karim & his family so that they may have a better life and future outside of the ongoing genocide; so far, they have raised $3895 of their $40,000 goal!

•───────────────★•♛•★──────────────•

The grass had died, leaving behind wiry strands of brown and black wisps that scattered the ground; the shaking and quaking of the ground had been nonstop since arrival, and thanks to the Belgian troops now joining, conditions were even more cramped. Even less food, less water, less cigarettes.

Pestilence was as common a friend as the lingering smell of pineapple and pepper and the constant sound of explosions, gunfire and screaming.

It was easy to get desensitised to the surroundings when they were constant; no way to go home, to go back to civilian life. No. No, that was all that was left anymore - shit, piss, blood, vomit, pus and mud.

The sight of dead men's faces buried beneath the watery soil. The crunch of their faces during charges.

The thick, clinging scent of blood to clothes of medics - could smell them coming miles away.

The sound of lice being fried in pans and tea being brewed in crude ways. The splash of piss against the machine guns. The snap of condoms over rifles when it rained.

Why the fuck would anyone want to be there?

What was so fucking glorious about it?

What fucking victory was there?

How much blood would be spilled until kings were content?

How many more lives would have to be lost?

All over a fucking pissing contest. A bunch of fucking spoiled brats who wanted nothing more than to sacrifice the poor for their own sake. Just to be proven right.

The sound of a cough brought Alfie's attention to you; lying in his crooked and crude bed, eyes burned and throat still sore from the latest gas attack. He had not left your side since, and although the medics saw you as often as they could, it wasn't enough - too many were dying out there for them to properly look after you.

So Alfie did.

As Captain, he was expected to stay behind anyway, so he did; he stayed and did what he could for you.

A raspy breath made him grasp your hand tightly, letting you know that he was still at your side.

"Alf... Alf..." you gasped out. "Need... need a... a fag... please..."

He nodded and searched his pockets, finding the almost broken and snapped packet in his breast pocket; he took two out, lit them, and handed one to you with as much haste as he possibly could.

You were immediately grateful, wheezing and coughing as you took a long and considerate drag. Snot dribbling down your burned nose and the blistered skin of your top lip.

"How are you feelin', matey?" He asked softly, or at least, as softly as he could. "Any better?"

You coughed, yellowish green foam spitting from your mouth and splattering onto the blanket at your thighs. "Oh, fuck no... everything... everything inside hurts.. hurts so fucking much, Alf..."

"Easy, boy-o," Alfie scoffed. "Stop fucking swearing, ain't no need for that shit... is it your eyes again? Do I have to fuckin' rinse 'em out again?"

You shook your head weakly. "Everything inside hurts..."

He frowned, swallowing thickly as he flicked the ash aside; he was kind of glad of it, all honesty.

At least you didn't have to see the carnage beyond the wooden and dirt walls; the bodies and their squashed bones.

The way other soldiers were eaten alive at night.

The medics had taken your bandages off two days ago, said that you would be alright by the end of the week as long as Alfie kept the wounds clean.

But the blisters kept popping, and thick, yellow pus kept dribbling out; it was warm, hot compared to the stale air. It stuck to the cloths that Alfie used to clean it up, clinging to the fabric with gooey tendrils. The smell of it pungent and always making Alfie gag a bit.

But he did it for you, not for himself.

You were the only man he ever cared about, the only person in the world who actually understood him, and although he had to hide it through terms of endearment that sounded like friendship, you both knew it was something different.

It was something that had to remain unspoken, for both your sake and his.

Something that could never be uttered, not even when he was kissing your forehead at night and falling asleep in the rickety chair by the bed.

He cleared his throat, shaking his head. "We'll get some rum down you, that'll make it better."

You nodded in agreement, harsh and quick breaths echoing from the back of your throat. "Alf..."

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry," you groaned out.

"Ain't your fault," he said quietly, patting your hand. "You saved a life by riskin' your own - I might not fuckin' agree with it, but... you did the good thing. You're a good man, and you heard the medics - you'll be alright soon enough... once all them blisters heal up, you'll be back on... back on No Man's Land in no time, eh?"

You swallowed thickly, the sensation making you want to vomit. "We... we both know... that... that you... you're the best of us..."

"I wouldn't fuckin' risk my life for a stranger," he pointed out. "You did. And now, instead of bein' swallowed by the mud, that cunt is in a field hospital gettin' seen to. You fuckin' saved his life and... shit. It should be me who's sorry, you know that."

"Field hospital..." you scoffed, the syllables becoming more jumbled the lower the volume got and the more the rattling of your lungs grew louder. "Can't go... too many... jerry shells..."

"Unfortunately," he murmured. "But you got me."

"Doctor fucking Solomons."

He smiled, nodding as he let out a shaky breath. "Captain Doctor Fucking Solomons to you, matey."

"Alf?" You waited for him to hum before you finished, "you know I love you to bits, don't you?"

"I know," he said quietly, sparing a look over his shoulder just to make sure. "It's mutual, you know that... finish your fag and get some rest, yeah? I ain't going anywhere anyway."

[still-not-over-transformers]

@kitgirl91 Request

I lost the original request message but I had a screeenshot :3

Ain’t I Good to You?

(TFA Blitzwing x Female Human Reader)

Warnings: None other than intense simping :3

Word Count: ... 2400+ (I got a tad carried away)

Lingo: “Cher” (pronounced ‘sha’) = Cajun term of affection/endearment 

To those unfamiliar, Blitzwing’s 3 personalities are known as Icy, Hothead, & Random

Art courtesy of my beloved requester: @kitgirl91 BEHOLD THE TALENT

Inspiration for this request: The Mask Soundtrack - Susan Boyd - Gee Baby, Ain't I Good To You

The Decepticons had been promptly defeated at the hands of the Autobots, and brought back to Cybertron. Blitzwing was one of said Decepticons to be humiliated by being paraded through the streets of Cybertron as prisoners. But the Triple-changer would shortly make his escape and give the guard the slip, stealing a small ship and setting course for the only planet he knew had no Autobot activity anymore: Earth. 

After entering stasis, a few months later Blitzwing would awaken after crash landing on Earth. This time however, Blitzwing would find himself not in New Detroit, but in good old New Orleans, Louisiana. The Decepticon didn’t want to attract too much attention to himself, and immediately searched for a place to hide, and or blend in with. As he still retained his Earth-based alt-modes as a jet or tank, he chose to sneak into a nearby river-side Air Force base. He transformed into his jet-mode as he tried to brainstorm a plan. He would remain there for a few months, having little idea on how to proceed further, and he went into a deep stasis nap. Blitzwing would be slowly awakened one Saturday night to music and an upbeat yet hauntingly beautiful voice. Blitzwing transformed to see a riverboat slowly cruising down the bayou, warm lights illuminating the water as upbeat music echoed across the river, and a sensual and hypnotic voice filled the night. It was a new experience for the Decepticon, and for the first time Blitzwing was silent and listened until the music and that voice faded into the distance. 

The following week was uneventful as usual, Blitzwing growing evermore displeased that he lacked a plan. As the afternoon sun sailed across the sky, Blitzwing took note of a female human making their way through the airbase. This human caught his eye, as she was not dressed in the usual military uniforms of the soldiers or mechanics. Being in the back area of the base, and being utterly bored out of his mind, Blitzwing decided to have a bit of fun. 

You made your way through an array of various military vehicles and aircrafts, all stunning and huge, dwarfing you easily. The air was growing cooler as an Autumn breeze blew through, making you clutch tighter at your coat. A loud clang rang out to the side and you struggled to see anyone through a lineup of various fighter jets and helicopters. Curiosity got the better of you and you stepped to the side to investigate, “Hello?” A rather large fighter jet was before you, but something was off about it as its coloring did not match any of the other similar models. 

Suddenly the jet moved swiftly, lifting upright before transforming completely into a massive winged tan robot. Its face spun around rapidly, settling on a cool bluish face with a red optic and one monocle-like optic, staring down at you expectantly. Despite the shock, you just stood there calmly looking at him. 

Blitzwing’s gaze was fixed upon you, raising an optic ridge in curiosity, “You are not afraid, human? How curious you’ve no concern for your own life.” Again, his faceplate spins violently, revealing the black faceplate and scarlet red crazed jack-o-lantern optics and mouth of Random. He cackles in an excited and mildly psychotic tone, “This human is crazy! I like crazy…” Round and round Blitzwing’s faceplate spins, now revealing Hothead, his bright red faceplate and optics glaring down at you. He aggressively moves towards you, his optics obscured by a visor, but the angry expression on his face was easily readable, “Are you working with ze Autobots, human?! That’s why you aren’t cowering in fear, isn’t it!?” 

You raise your hands up in a gesture of innocence, hoping to convince the massive robot before you you weren’t any threat, “I have no idea what an ‘Autobot’ is. I’m not really sure what you are to be honest.”

“Why then are you not frightened of me? Do I look like I’d want to be friends with ze likes of you?” Icy said calmly, although in his mind he was genuinely intrigued by the fearless organic before him. Blitzwing’s face spun again, “OOOOOH Maybe we can make friendship bracelets!” Hothead took over and again, he spoke aggressively towards you, “What is a puny human like you even doing walking around in a military airbase?!”

You paused before explaining yourself, “Oh, well I was finishing up details regarding an upcoming job. Going to perform next month here to boost morale for the troops. Had to sign a bit of paperwork regarding my pay.”

The calm Icy took over and raised an optic ridge curiously, “Vat kind of performance?”

“I’m a Jazz singer. Not sure if you’d know what Jazz is, or music… but it’s my profession and most importantly my passion. I’m finally booking more gigs, last weekend was my first time performing on a riverboat. It was magical if I’m honest,” you spoke candidly, finding Blitzwing’s accent to be slightly adorable. 

“Vait…” Icy glances over at the nearby river on the other side of the river-side airbase, “Zat was your voice I heard?”

You were taken aback, “You heard me? How long have you been hiding in this airbase?”

“...Long enough. Ze music was… acceptable. And your voice… wasn’t displeasing” Icy said slowly, perhaps giving you a hesitant compliment. 

You smiled slightly, finding this strange giant robot to be rather endearing. “You know I will be performing this evening at “The Cat’s Meow” Jazz Club. It’s an outdoor venue, so you’re welcome to come if you’d like.” You extend your hand towards Blitzwing, a silver ticket stub in your grasp. 

Icy took a pause, considering whether or not to accept the ticket, before Random took over and eagerly snatched the ticket from your hands. “How could ve refuse such an offer!” he chuckled excitedly. 

You stepped back briefly as the ticket was taken from your hands, but you couldn’t help but smile, “I can see you aren’t one to pass a good time up. I should probably be on my way and get ready for the show. You know, I didn’t catch your name, cher?” 

The Decepticon was shocked at how calm and comfortable you were around him, after all he was a battle-hardened warrior, killer and a giant robot, yet you showed him such courtesy as if he were just another human. “Oh… Blitzwing…” he replied hesitantly, feeling almost compelled to tell you. 

“Well Blitzwing, if anyone gives you trouble at the door, cher, just tell them you’re a guest of (Y/N)” you flashed a sincere but slightly coy smile at the Decepticon before giving him a friendly wave of your hand and making your way off of the military base. 

Blitzwing stood there in silent shock as you left, leaving him burning with multiple questions. “Cher? This word is strange” Icy pondered, a servo on his chin. His faceplate spun and Random took over, “Perhaps it’s a human word for cute!” Icy presented himself once more, staring at the ticket in his servo, your invitation still standing. He could just crush the ticket and be done withy it, but there was something about you…

Night fell on New Orleans, and the city came alive with lights, and hundreds of people flocking to the streets to enjoy various events and libations. High in the sky, Blitzwing hovered in jet-mode above the outdoor venue of “The Cat’s Meow.” After a bit of convincing himself, Blitzwing found the courage to land and enter the Jazz club. The bouncer at the door was definitely not expecting a Decepticon to attempt entry to the club, but he stood his ground and sweatily asked to see a ticket. 

Usually, it would be Blitzwing’s instinct to blast the human into smithereens, but that would undoubtedly sour the mood for the evening. Instead he presented his silver ticket and spoke, “I am here upon ze request of (Y/N).” The doorman accepted the ticket hesitantly, before allowing the Decepticon entry into the club, but directing him to enter around to the outdoor section to spare the roof. 

After making his way around, Blitzwing entered the outdoor space, which was an array of various tables covered in rich red linens. The area was illuminated by various lights wrapped around trellises and trees, a wooden stage centered at the back, the musicians settling into their positions. Blitzwing looked down at the table below him, awkwardly lowering himself into a sitting position behind the table, his massive frame still towering above it. Blitzwing couldn’t help but feel foolish being here to see a human perform, and it took hours of self-convincing earlier in order to get his aft here. 

“I have no idea how I talked myself into this…” Icy grumbled, his arms crossed. “PLEASE! This is not ze craziest thing we’ve done by far!” Random cackled before going silent as the lights dimmed, leaving one blinding spotlight on center stage. 

There you were, standing in the blinding glow of the spotlight. Your hair was down, but a delicate headpiece of beaded pearls adorned your forehead. Your dress was an ebony color, with a sensual sweetheart neckline and a short hem lined with glittering beads that cascaded from the hem. The ebony color was accentuated by the sparkle of thousands of tiny sequins, which reflected the spotlight and made you shimmer. You turned towards the band members behind you and gave them a nod, cueing them to begin playing a smooth yet upbeat Jazz number, the mood set by the sound of trumpets and a piano. You slowly took hold of the microphone and began singing, your voice sultry and alluring. 

Blitzwing’s optics widened to a point where they nearly burst out of his skull, and his jaw unhinged and was wide open as he struggled to process how stunning you were. This was the same human he met at the airbase? Your voice, your lips, your legs, that dress were all enough to nearly fry his processor circuitry and drive him wild. His faceplate was spinning between all three personalities, each one absolutely shaken by everything about you. 

“She’s like nothing I’ve ever seen…” Icy gawked, short of words. 

“IT IS LIKE BEING GRACED WITH ZE PRESENCE OF AN ANGEL!” Hothead exclaimed, looking like he wanted to break something. 

Random’s glossa was hanging out of his mouth, completely drunk off of your beautiful body and hypnotic voice. 

The song continued, and you began to move around the stage, your hips moving in time with the beat. You dipped down to the ground, before slowly standing up, swishing your hips and waist as you ascended. 

This sent Blitzwing over the edge, and Random loudly whistled at you, having quickly become a complete simp. Hearing the cat call, you turned your attention to see the Decepticon at his table. Continuing your set, you smiled in his direction before pointing to him and blowing a kiss. 

 Random took over and stood up, whistling even louder in adoration and worship of you, “Keep it UP BABY!” 

The song slowly came to its final portion, albeit to Blitzwing’s dismay as he wanted this to go on forever. With a final breath, the last lyrics left your painted lips and the song concluded. The resounding sound of applause filled the club, the loudest clapping being from Blitzwing’s massive metal servos. As the rest of the club patrons applauded your performance, Blitzwing’s sharp optics spotted one human patron who wasn’t participating. 

Hothead’s face spun around, steam visibly leaving his nostrils as he stomped over to the unsuspecting patron, startling the man, “YOU’D BETTER START CLAPPING BEFORE I MAKE YOUR INSIDES YOUR OUTSIDES!” The unsuspecting critic nearly jumped out of his skin and began clapping for his life. 

As the cheers continued, audience members began tossing flowers onto the stage. Icy took note of this and began formulating a plan. 

After you had made your way back to your dressing room, there was a firm knock at the door. Out of curiosity, you opened it to see who it was, only to be pleasantly surprised to see a certain Decepticon gazing back at you. 

Blitzwing was blushing madly, especially being so close to you when you looked so beautiful. He cleared his throat, his faceplate spinning to Icy, trying to get the courage to speak to you. “Your show was… more than words than express. You are ze most talented and beautiful thing I have laid optics on. I got something for you” his voice was oddly shaky. He knelt down and revealed a massive bundle of roses and vines from behind his back, the flowers taking up a quarter of your dressing room. “I saw flowers are a sign of worship, so I brought you all ze flowers from the garden.” 

You were stunned by the gift, it being obvious that Blitzwing had removed the roses from the nearby trellises. You tried to stifle a laugh and flashed the biggest grin, “That is mighty sweet of you, cher. To think you actually came to see me and shower me with so much praise.” 

“You are a GORGEOUS LIGHT IN THE DARKNESS. I WILL BREAK DOWN MOUNTAINS FOR YOU!” Hothead expressed passionately. 

“Oh my…” you giggled, “Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.” You stepped closer to the massive Decepticon before you, closing the distance. “For being so sweet, I think you deserve a little something as well,” your voice was charismatic and smooth. You leaned in closer to his faceplate, and planted a gentle kiss on his cheek. 

His faceplate spun around and around and around… for what seemed like an eternity. An excited and loud laugh escaped from Blitzwing’s mouth, Random’s optics wide and his spark beating rapidly. So many thoughts and feelings flashed through his processor that he felt he might explode, “I FEEL LIKE I’VE FLOWN TO ZE MOON AND BACK!” His optics turn back towards you and he suddenly calms himself, maybe a little worried he might frighten you. His faceplate reverts back to Icy and he clears his throat, “...ahem.. My apologies, sometimes I get carried away.” 

Your smile widened, finding his antics to be endearing. “Don’t sweat it, cher. You’re more than welcome to come to any of my shows in the future,” you spoke softly. “Now why don’t you and I get out of here. Maybe let me show you around town?”

Blitzwing was in absolute awe. You, this tiny human female stealing every one of Blitzwing’s sparks. 

Of course he took you up on your offer. 

*END*

I had WAY too much fun with this request. :3 I pray it was worth the wait!

[sirenologyyy]

AVATAR MASTERLIST !

𓇼 atwow modern au !

: a series of headcannons about the metkayin and omaticayan teens if they were in the modern times!

part 1

part 2

𓇼 atwow modern band au !

: series of headcannons about the metkayin and omaticayan teens if they were in a band in the modern times!

now playing . . .

𓇼 sold out of love -> ao'nung x fem!sully reader !

: with you and your family being hounded by the relentless RDA soldiers you are forced out of the forest, fleeing to the island of Awa'atlu where the reef clan resided. The waters were rough at first, with learning how to swim, how to hold your breathe underwater, how to ride ilus, and how to deal with the conceited son of the Olo'eyktan, the longer you stayed the more you realized this place wasn't so bad after all, and the more you spent time with him, the more you realize that the both of you had been doomed from the start.

MASTERLIST !

part I ⨾ TIME AWAY FROM HOME

part II ⨾ ROCKAWAY

part III ⨾ SWEET TO ME

part IV ⨾ SPEAKING SONAR

part V ⨾ TIDAL WAVES

part VI ⨾ LIFE AIN'T THE SAME

𓇼 right side of my neck -> neteyam x fem!metkayina!reader !

: a hopeless case of "like father, like son" in which just like his father before him, neteyam finds himself holding his heart out for the chief's daughter, all firey and impetuous yet complex and beguiling. While he well, he's kind of just a smitten teenage boy in denial.

now playing . . .

TBOSAS/THG MASTERLIST !

✹ dating modern!sejanus plinth -> sejanus plinth x fem!reader !

: in which I finally compile my headcanons of modern sejanus plinth if he were dating you! (also this man is so fine like it's not cute anymore ya'll I need him so bad)

now playing . . .

✹ bewitched -> tom blyth x fem!actress!reader !

: you've just been casted into one of the most highly anticipated prequels of all time, the ballad of songbirds and snakes as lucy gray baird's older sister. No steady plot, just vibes.

MASTERLIST !

part I ⨾ EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT LOVE

part 2 ⨾ FRAGILE

[terrence-silver]

What if that cobra husband scene in s4 the balcony kreese lifted terry shirt up and saw no tattoos and I know people would say he would feel hurt that Terry tried to erase him but for some reason I just think he would laugh and be like

“You really went all out,trying erase me guess the heterosexual vegan tofu life was not convincing you enough huh twig” then he just grab his neck all gentle,definitely trying trigger the tattoo parlor memory because i definitely feel like he call him twig just to get him back in line like I’m so sad we get didn’t get a twig line at all from older kreese or even in the 80s then he probably try to take him to go get the tattoo back on kidnapped him or something because no way in hell is terry erase him he won’t let him that tattoo was theirs and he going keep it even if kreese has to burn the stamp into his hip

Semper Fidelis.

―

-"You really went all out, huh?"-

John has to chuckle into his own chin once he goes for the surprise offensive and lifts the pristine white fabric of Terry's shirt having the man's fingers defensively grip the hem of the fabric within the same instant, pulling it back down and adjusting it the way it was with an expression of quiet chagrin. He removed the ink. Their ink. Until all that remained was a pink, gaping maw spread across his ribs like a perpetual bruise of scarred tissue. -"Whatever happened to Semper Fi? Always loyal?"- He has to ask, watching Terry, or Terrence as he prefered going by these days, all formal and full named, fidget in his own skin, arm leaning on the glass fencing of the balcony, knuckles white, party going on below in the courtyard. Chatter, laughter and a whole bunch of nothing. -"You left. You're the last person to talk about loyalty."- He seethes, mouth all twisted up and John shakes his head, because oh, how he misunderstood. -"Ain't about me."- He states, shrugging. Of course it was disappointing, though. It was disappointing to see a memento of memories and camaraderie erased like that, senselessly, but there was something else that irked John far more and he couldn't believe he had to explain, to Terry Silver of all people, what that something was. Guess some people needed reminders. Be told how things really were upfront. -"Can remove me all you want, Terrence, sure, it's a free country."- He almost snorts into his own chin saying that, utilizing the entirety of Terry's name as an insult, laced with mockery. What? Was inking not in fashion anymore? Was that it? Wont get any brownie points with the peanut gallery down below eating all the food in his house if he maintains an army memory visible on his skin? Was it 1970-something again? Will he get called a war criminal baby killer by a bunch of people slurping oysters and sea weed for brunch who never lifted anything heavier than a spoon in their collective lives?

-"But what that tattoo meant? Really meant?"-

John scoots closer, maintaining Terry's steady gaze.

-"Your service? Your creed?"-

Yeah, there was a note of judgement in his tone of voice and he could feel it pooling up in his own mouth like venom. You don't cease being a soldier, that was the thing. Your military past doesn't end just because your war is seen as controversial. No good and no fair anymore. You stick with it and you stick with it until the very end. You don't go cowardly and start burning your uniform, tossing away your medals and discarding of old platoon photos just because that's the convenient thing to do on the sly. -"Lying to those fine people down there that you never served and that there's not much to say about it?"- John could sense himself get pissed off just uttering that out loud, dousing his words like gasoline, in hefty amounts of sarcasm when he referred to the so called company of friends mingling on the lawn as 'fine', watching Terry front by keeping his chin up high, never shrugging away, almost spitefully, eyes haughty. Cold. Someone needed to wipe that smug, self contented expression off of his face for his own sake. And then, John decides to take that nail and really drill it in. Let it hurt somewhat. -"What? You scared of them finding out what war you fought in?"- He feels himself tilt his head, only to watch Terry's shoulders shift slightly, by about a millimeter. Ah, there it was --- suppressed discomfort. -"Doubt their kind likes your kind too much."- John states the obvious. He could wager his life on the fact that these snowflakes would ever sit on the beachside veranda of someone who fought in Vietnam, no matter how pretty the veranda or the view were. -"They don't like your kind either."- Terry immediately retorts, all ice and bitterness, thinking he's really doing something big with that statement, his shirt now perfectly tucked in and immaculately straight.

His kind? They were the same kind. Were, at least.

Terry was talking about them like they were a separate entity and not a unit.

It as John's responsibility, as this man's Captain, to remind him of that.

-"Good."-

John acquiesces, profoundly entertained. Good, they should hate him.

He hates them too.

Hated what Terry became too.

A man ashamed of himself can't be a man who likes himself in the first place.

What?

Was he going to blame the fact he loved his country back in the day on coke too?

John points at his own bicep for emphasis, hidden behind a jacket, and the fabric of his shirt, subsequently, the tattoo underneath it all, catching Terry's eyes follow the gesture. Regardless of the bad blood between them, removing army memorabilia tying you to your own service was like removing your wedding band flushing it down the toilet while still under your vow. Disowning your own children just because you divorced your spouse. The military was a sort of marriage. You put on that ring once and there ain't no taking it off anymore. That's the brotherhood of it all. If everyone could do it, go the distance with that sort of commitment, everyone schlub would serve. -"Cos my ink is still here, with or without you and that's where it's staying."- John assures because to him, those words, Semper Fi, were never just words. They were a way of living and he truly meant them. He spots the shade of something incomprehensible in Terry's eyes then, deep and dark and intense. Something he could only describe as sadness. As longing. Blanketed behind layers of bullshit. His cue to leave this shitshow. The drinks were bad, the food was something you feed rabbits on a farm, the company was laughable and the host was a coward with his balls in a vice by the looks of it. And yes, he deserved to be sad. He was sad because he's forsaken everything that ever mattered to him and John knew it weighed heavy on him. That he needed a wake up call like he needed air to breathe. He turns to leave, elbow leaving the comfort of the glass fence railing and the vista towards the open ocean, a long with pole fluttering a flag in the breeze. Was a real shocker Terry didn't have that removed too, as not to offend someone's lone sensibilities. Was that why he wore his hair down? Fear of being laughed at? -"I hope they don't like me. I don't live on opinions."- John adds leisurely on a final note, knowing he wont lose any sleep whether some tofu-chowing, freeloading beatnik hippie from England has a good impression of him or not, deciding to show himself out, ignoring the lobby boy that popped up from out of nowhere, stuttering, trying to find the right opportunity to escort him out once he deduced the boss's conversation with his guest as concluded. John knew Terry's eyes were pinned to his back even though he said nothing.

He could feel them.

Lingering like a bullet never fired.

-"Just surprised you do."-

John murmurs, leaving the sunlit terrace and Terry behind.

The party of people carries on below, echoing across the white beachfront wall.

[senka-mesecine]

How do you think Barnes would react to his s/o being hurt in a way that also causes them a facial scar? Maybe they’re scared they won’t them anymore since they aren’t “pretty” anymore

-

He doesn't mind.

You'll always be pretty to him. You could miss an eye. A hand. Both legs. Have burns. Wounds. Blemishes. And you'd still be his. He's seen soldiers go through that sort of crap every day and he's desensitized to it in ways few individuals would be --- god's sake, he's undoubtedly seen people with their entrails hanging out, limbs shot off, half of their skull fractured with their brains leaking out and faces that collapsed into themselves and nothing shocks him anymore.

Thousand yard stare. Not a thing is a novelty to those eyes.

Now, that's not to say he's not aggrieved for you, heck, Barnes is angrier about you getting scarred than he probably was when he got scarred (even if said scar you have is perhaps ten times less severe than his own); fact is, he could pick apart the whole world with his bare hands with how pissed off he is that you went through this crap in the first place and that history is repeating itself in ways, borderline wishing he could take the disfigurement right off of your face and add it to his own collection right there on his left cheek because he might think that if he already has as many as he has, what's another on his roster? He feels he can handle it. But I still don't think that changes anything for him in the aesthetic beauty sense where you are concerned --- in fact, as weird as this may sound, he feels you're kindred spirits due to it, even though he professes he doesn't believe in nonsense like that. Barnes won't say a word about it and he'll let you live life like nothing changed without making any grand, cheesy platitudes but in his eyes you're bound and reflecting each other in ways nobody can ever take away and I dare say in a very, bizarre, odd sense he feels at ease, like he ain't the odd one out in this pairing --- another thing he'd never admit to because it would mean admitting to a vulnerability. Man comes off as very level headed and cool about it all even though he admittedly drank severely when he found out that your injury will actually have lasting consequences but that's more out of a genuine sense of grief and rage rather that feeling your beauty was 'stolen' from him, but ultimately, his outlook on your figurative scars would be no different than yours would be towards his --- you think he looks handsome in spite of them (or even due to them?) and he thinks just the same about you. Safe to say that in his particular Barnes way he'd quietly like them, being weirdly conflicted with how accidentally tolerant and empathic he's coming off when it comes to you.

Now, if it was someone else who hurt you like this rather than it being a freak accident that just unfortunately happened, my god, he'd flay someone's face off and not be conflicted about anything for a minute longer.

[wonton4rang]

Hi

I'm NOT OKAY, I'm not god's strongest soldier anymore 😞

WE are not god's strongest soldiers 😭😭😭 TAESAN FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK (me please) WHAT IS THIS DJDHDKDK how can he be so cute and nom nom but also so like yeah yk and so aaaaa and know i want to fuck the shit out of him and i- i'm just a girl trying to survive my daily life without ma husband (jungkook) bUT MA MAN TAESAN, MY BOYFRIEND (fr fr) AIN'T CONTRIBUTING TO MY SURVIVAL.

[rarepears]

I've been thinking about your "Liu Mingyan (Svsss) gets reborn as Sung Jinah (Solo Leveling) and gets reunited with her brother again... with a twist au" for months now and cannot stop it is SUCH a good idea!!! Do you think SJW would regain his past memories after he completely accepts ashborn's heart? also just curious for any other details on this au!

Man, if yall wanna go the angsty route...

Imagine if Sung Jinwoo noticed his sister acting a little oddly, so he goes and asks. Liu Mingyan, wracked with guilt, just ends up spilling - not everything and certainly not all the gory details, but enough to get the details that she remembered her past life with Jinwoo's previous incarnation, she considered them enemies and orchestrated his downfall, etc.

Jinwoo, Mr. Loyal-forever-to-people-I-consider-my-family, is unfazed. Okay, cool, I forgive you because I love you basically. That was then, this is now and he loves his little sister. He doesn't remember anything, so it flows off him like water off a duck; plus, he's got bigger fish to fry like healing his mom out of that coma.

Liu Mingyan is beyond relieved and things go (relatively) normal again. She certainly goes to therapy once Jinwoo feels like they have enough money for that - therapy ain't cheap! Plus with the Asian culture about mental health not really a thing, Jinwoo doesn't prioritize spending money on it as much as he prioritizes some other financial goals - like building a good savings and emergency fund. But you know, it happens eventually.

BUT THEN SUNG JINWOO ENDS UP GETTING HIS MEMORIES OF SHEN JIU BACK. And no, he can't forgive Liu Mingyan. Or well, he says and things he can - he's still mentally conflicted, but he had already determined that she was his, so this all becomes a Yue Qingyuan 2.0 situation because Liu Mingyaan is constantly crying and apologizing and trying to earn forgiveness, but Shen Jiu keeps finding new issues to be irate with her. Like the way that she explained (and minimized things) when explaining to Sung Jinwoo about their previous lives.

Sung Jinwoo, with all that baggage of his previous life, finds it even harder to trust new people and not constantly look behind his shoulders for backstabbers. He's bitterly relieved that his shadow soldiers never can betray him, but it's also a slave army and who can he aimed all this pent up energy and emotions at other than his sister who, if it wasn't for her, he would have never recalled his previous life-

Except Shen Jiu finds it harder and harder to be angry at Liu Mingyan anymore...

because as he grows into his shadow monarch powers, he's becoming less in tune with emotions. And Liu Mingyan simply sees this emotionless, restrained personality sinking into Sung Jinwoo like Jinwoo is simply becoming more "Shen Jiu" (and also forgiving her), but it's not-

What is Shen Jiu when he's not defined by his bitterness and paranoia towards life?

[More in the #Liu Mingyan (Svsss) gets reborn as Sung Jinah (Solo Leveling) and gets reunited with her brother again... with a twist au]

[deputygonebye]

@rickgrimesdoingrickthings asked: "The person you knew me as, died."

Dark and Angsty Sentence Starters

Location and the group, much had changed since the first days of the outbreak. Mountainsides replaced by walls of concrete, barbed wire fences taken the spot previously held by a wide and open lake. The quintessence of survival tactics, it was expected. Rapid movement from one safe haven to the next, when Walkers and humans became too much so soon, onto the next chapter before the last could be written. From the reflection of a mirror, with hair scattered across a bathroom counter and onto the floor, sin and the past literally shaved off, Shane could see as much within himself, that destined change. No longer was he the same man. Heart and soul more mangled and shattered; a deputy's badge splattered in blood and guts that weren't always so noble. The new world had gotten hold of him and refused to release. But so had it done such to Rick.

Steadier, then, more patient in how it would break the second deputy, it was almost cruel in what had been done to Rick. A soldier thrust into the very depths of total war - unarmed and uncertain - forced to learn from experience than the softness of a friendly hand. Great were the tests put onto Rick. Shane's own gun drawn in the very name, a moment saved for the two of them to share in. Brother verses brother; forgiveness stronger than any obstacle that the new world thrown. But it didn't stop the changes. Provided power for them to only develop further. Beyond what was imagined, the impossible feats reached and achieved without so much as an exhausted breath. Survival had become too easy, too routine.

Sunlight upon his cheeks, skin warmed under Georgia's bright star, Shane took to surveillance duty with Rick as if he had done it his whole life. Naturally, without fuss or frills, as if it were the old squad car that they were in and not an outpost from the prison. Memories as fast as a freight train.

"No. He didn't." Shane answered, looking across the way to Rick. "He's still there. He just woke up. You've done what needed to be done, man. You've stepped up, been the guy I always knew you could be. You've been a damn good leader, a hell of a father, kept these people safe. The old Rick, I don't know if he would've made it this far. He's still inside you, but he's learned. He's not blind. Not anymore."

Shane smiled some, the corners of his lips lifted, the first time in days. "You act as if I couldn't tell my best friend apart from Adam. Rick, I'd know you even if I was blindfolded and handcuffed. Deep down, you're still the same kid who shared his lunch with me on the first day of Kindergarten. No, brother, he ain't dead. He's with me now."

[kleenexwoman]

WIP Title Ask Meme

Steve Rogers Reactions to the 20th Century in Real Time

Here's what happens:

Peggy's baby gets Super'd thanks to Vita-Ray exposure, she gets sick, and they have to abort. Zola is the only SHIELD doctor who is willing to have his team perform the procedure. Steve freaks out about Zola, which drives him and Peggy even farther apart.

Peggy doesn't bother to be nice about shit any longer. Their fights escalate. Steve goes fishing with Arnie Roth a lot.

It's the 50's! Peggy gets pregnant again, and it's that Sousa dude's, and at this point Steve is like, "This might as well happen" and wishes Sousa luck.

Howard flies them all to Reno for the divorce, then Vegas for the wedding. He takes Steve to a female impersonator review to see how Steve will take it.

It's Loki singing "Ain't No Rest For the Wicked" in a spangly green dress, heartbroken after having been engaged to some Midgardian prince to seal the course of a war. Confused that Steve recognizes him, he agrees to call the Norns to see if they can return him to his time.

The Norns don't work like that, but they'll answer three questions so Steve will leave them alone. No, there's no way to "get back fast". No, he can't undo his mistake. Yes, he can liberate his one love (Bucky) but it will cost him dearer than that (a young Tony being shot by a faceless HYDRA mook instead of Howard and Maria getting shot).

1963, the Kennedy assassination. Steve saves Kennedy from the bullet. Peggy calls him and asks him how he knew, and Steve lies and says he's been tracking the Winter Soldier. Peggy asks him to work for SHIELD, and Steve accepts, then immediately talks JFK out of Vietnam.

JFK dies of a mysterious illness anyway. Nam happens. Steve spends the 60s in and out of Russia trying to track Bucky down while Howard sinks deeper into decadence.

Tony is born, and suddenly Steve is determined to be the stable thing in his world at all costs, because nothing else is. Tony is brilliant and empathetic and Steve has to teach him how to be a decent person in spite of Howard's determination to ruin everything good he has in his life, including Tony. He can see Howard's nihilism and addiction to pleasure infect Tony, no matter how hard he tries to show Tony how to be a better person.

Bucky doesn't shoot Ronald Reagan because Nancy is a witch who flings his assassin ass into Steve's arms with her mind. An ailing Zola explains that of course he put a witch in charge of the Free World; she's going to make sure it's his actual soul in his big 80's computer instead of just punch cards, after all. So yeah, Steve can have the Winter Soldier finally -- he'll have to be his handler, because his brain is refrozen mush, but at last he'll be with his bestie again. Steve realizes at this point that there's no running off into the sunset away from everyone. The only way to get Bucky back is use the SHIELD technology they have to try to heal him, and it's a slow process.

Then there's the Gulf War and it's all just over oil and Howard is making so much money again, and Tony comes up with this idea for free energy so they don't have to do the oil thing anymore. Howard has to explain to Tony that the oil is just a mechanism for control over there, that the scarcity is the point. Tony doesn't buy it.

Howard tells Steve they gotta kill Tony.

Steve knows if he doesn't get Bucky to kill Howard before he gives the order, Tony is going to die.

[crazy56u]

Just woke up 15 minutes ago, let's do this.

Once again, no saga sell. Meanwhile, in a pre-SAG-AFTRA Strike Hollywood...

Why do I get the feeling this guy was originally meant to be played by Kevin Costner?

"So, no filters." So, I take it this is at least in the 90s?

A movie where a scientist clones shit, I think I saw that on MST3K.

And right off of the bad, we're waxing poet about scripts. That's how you know this aired after the Writer's Strike ended.

Hey, look who finally decided to show back up to work!

I still say Tom's getting retconned through Ben preventing the time skip at the end of the season.

"This is the stuff dreams are made of." If that is meant to hint at my earlier theory being correct…

I swear to God, I thought Ian was wearing a red hat.

I feel like this was the cheapest episode to make, given how this was filmed without sets.

April 4th, 2000. Two fours, and a leap year, so of course Not Kevin Bacon died.

Hey, Ben, look on the bright side, this is pre-Jimmy Fallon-era Tonight Show. ...but, that does mean Jay Leno...

"Old address", teah, sure, keep telling yourself that…

Ben, I'm willing to bet you just lost him.

"Damn, I really suck at this Hollywood thing. … Addison, can we do commercials early?" "Yeah, why not…"

"Who loses Neil Russell?" People who don't love him?

And Ben commits a federal crime, and opens another man's mail.

A backyard wedding? In 2000?

And Ben almost gets run over by Roman soldiers.

"I think I may have blindsided people this morning, I don't think they expected me to come back to the show."

"What do you think about your first leap?" "…technically, wasn't that the bank robbery one?"

You know, while we're wasting time with this Tom and Addison shit, we could've seen more of Ben hitching a ride with the Romans.

"Hey, Rachel, no biggie, but I saw a thing on a computer, and I'm slightly freaking the fuck out."

Ben's got a golden ticket, this is the closest we will get to him leaping into Willy Wonka.

Look, who among us hasn't found themselves lying on the floor?

Ben, the biggest sitcom on TV was Full House, shut up.

…why is Neil's life slowly turning into Season 1 of Bojack Horseman?

"We get him to Leno, everyone wins. Literally the only time someone ever said that ironically."

"Look, please, I know I crashed your wedding, but I wanna get married again, this is 100% not a nervous breakdown."

"He's a sidekick, he's not a leading man! He doesn't vaguely remind the audience of Bojack Horseman!"

Uh oh, the badass brought out the whipping stick!

"Oh, wait, you're an agent, I'm not mad anymore."

"I don't wanna think, I don't wanna talk, I just wanna go on a boat-" "Okay, let's calm down!"

I wonder how Jay Leno must feel knowing this entire episode is built around him…

"I was quitting way too soon, we're only 15 minutes in!"

"We're winning Laura back!" And Ben and Addison low-key have a stroke.

Meanwhile, in... Blade Runner, I guess.

"Ian? Why are we in the blue dimension, and why do I suspect it involves Project-bullshit?"

What if it turns out this chip was what Jenn was talking about, and nothing else secretive was going on?

"Unless you find Ben, you'll never have a TV show."

Ian, you know what show you're on, you fucking know lying won't work in the long run.

"I can deal with your savior complex." That was a straight faced lie.

…was he calling Charlie Sheen? "Charlie Carter." Okay, thank God- okay, they're connected to Katzenberg, nevermind.

"You know, I once helped a bounty hunter-" "I thought you were never going to talk about Las Vegas, Summer?"

"How do you know she's the one?" "Because if she ain't, I'm getting on a boat and dying at sea."

And Neil indirectly shames Addison.

"And you're just drifting through life, lost, putting right what once went wrong-"

"We got flowers, we got the opera legend, we just gotta commit a crime!"

Robbing a wax museum. Only in Hollywood.

Addison, you can't keep shitting on Ben behind his back, he will find out, and he will get pissed.

"Ben's earned a little leadership. As a treat."

And Magic delivers some awful books. (ba-dum-ching!)

We're now in a horror movie, hot fucking damn.

Okay, I legitimately almost screamed after Not Yoda Jumpscare.

Is Not Jason Vorhees about to spring to life, I legitimately am getting freaked out the longer we stay here.

"Just get the tuxedo and go." "POLICE, OPEN UP, WE KNOW YOU'RE ROBBING THE WAX MUSEUM!"

Ben, you know what you have to do: Help Neil pick his cuffs, and escape the cops.

I don't like how quickly Ben learned the Hollywood magic of gaming the system.

But, hey, at least the cop took the bribe.

I don't know how Jenn is able to read that book, if that spotlight is shining directly at her like that.

I technically called it about that chip thing.

"So, that shitty chip is the only think letting us find Ben? Ian, no offense, but you suck at this."

"This is destiny, Summer. You know what happened the last time I tried to talk my way out of an arrest?!"

"Did Plan A go wrong?" "Ben, Neil almost got fucking arrested, what do you think?"

"It's about his daughter." "No, it's about Laura." (why-not-both.gif)

Addison, that is what we in the field like to call "Overplaying Your Hand". Now Ben's mad mad.

We have officially reached the "Relationship Bullshit Event Horizon".

"Hey, Frank, why is that agent yelling at a ghost about being abandoned for three years?" "Forget it, Jake, it's Hollywood." "I fucking hate you for making that joke."

"You know what else I did? (pointedly leaves the Imaging Chamber)"

Addison, no offense, but I'm still on Ben's side, not yours.

"Hey, Summer, why do you look like your heart got stomped on? Come on, we gotta crash a wedding!"

There is a non-zero percent chance that mug has bourbon in it.

"Hey, Addison, I know you and Ben had that fight, but I gotta talk to someone about this chip-"

"We have a few last minute flowers." "Ma'am, I know that Neil is hiding behind them."

"Summer, the bushes ate our tulips. I told you this would happen!"

Okay, having quickly looked this up, The Wedding Crashers came out in 2005, so if it turns out Ben indirectly caused the movie to exist-

"Neil, look, you're very sweet, but I am now convinced this is a nervous breakdown, do you need a blanket, or…"

"Look, time's passed, neither of us are the same people anymore. ...I can't help but notice your agent has that look on her face, so maybe that relates to her as well, but, I gotta go get married, have fun."

I'm actually impressed that Neil didn't bolt while Ben was busy apologizing to Addison.

"We still have 'The Tonight Show'." "Nah, fuck that, call me Ishmael."

[Annnnnnnnnd text limit!]

[narrativelysignificantturtleduck]

jeong jeong playlist! annotations under the cut:

this is an oddball playlist. there's a song on it from every decade 60s-present, it's got more men than women (unusual for me, and odd given that i headcanon jeong jeong as transfem), and it's very...political. i'm still not sure if it's trivializing and offensive to put these serious protest songs on a character playlist or if it simply makes sense. i mean, i'm looking for songs about a character who leaves the military for ideological reasons. how could it NOT get political, right?

1. i ain't marching anymore - phil ochs

call it peace or call it treason / call it love or call it reason / but i ain't marching anymore

case in point.

2. study war no more (down by the riverside) - pete seeger

i'm gonna talk with the prince of peace / down by the riverside / and study war no more

i mean like. i feel weird about including these songs but also you gotta wonder if maybe historical anti-war movements and songs informed the writing of a character who deserts the military. bc she quite literally is a ex-military pacifist by the riverside talking to her world's religious savior.

3. i was in a cult - teddy geiger

i was a soldier under the despot / born in the summer, all that I wanted / i am a child, I asked for the beating

found this while looking for songs by transfem artists for this playlist and was just kind of blown away. like, jeong jeong was a soldier, summer is the season of fire, and there's no way she had a happy childhood. a firebending prodigy, probably pushed very hard to succeed, plus being queer and autistic? in a country where the head of state abuses his son in front of a crowd? there's no way. it's a song about breaking free from any force telling you to conform, and that's certainly jeong jeong deserting the military.

4. empty square - sarah jarosz

i'm gettin' swallowed up by all my choices / i'll take a dive off your marble stairs / 'cause it's all crumbling down

i think jeong jeong's desertion was incredibly dramatic, bc she knew a high-ranking official loudly denouncing their power and privilege ("taking a dive off your marble stairs") would make a big statement. some random soldier quietly escapes and joins the earth kingdom? we'll track him down and say he died in battle, so tragic. an admiral stands up to give a speech in front of a huge crowd of soldiers and tells them that they're cruel savages and their empire will fall before disappearing in a ball of fire? well that's a fucking PR nightmare.

5. prayer in open d - emmylou harris

and the shadows filling up this land / are the ones i built with my own hand

GUILT. also river imagery. jeong jeong loves river imagery.

6. eve of destruction - barry mcguire

take a look around you, boy / it's bound to scare you, boy / and you tell me / over and over and over again, my friend / how you don't believe / we're on the eve of destruction

learned of this song via todd in the shadows, whose take on it is that it's kinda melodramatic but also totally understandable. like yeah, maybe the world isn't hopeless, but sometimes it sure feels that way. this growly voice singing to some "boy" about how he needs to understand the world is doomed reminds me of jeong jeong talking to aang, warning him of the danger of fire. you get where she's coming from, even if she's overly pessimistic.

7. man in the wilderness - styx

sometimes i feel like a man in the wilderness / i'm a soldier off to war / sent away to die / never quite knowing why

8. i'm on fire - bruce springsteen

this song is maybe a little more clueless than jeong jeong (she knows quite well why she was sent off to war, and she's not really a man) but living in the wilderness feeling lost is definitely fitting.

8. blindness - metric

i was a blindfold, never complained

the wartime imagery, plus this theme of being blind to what's going on. also the lines "i was the one with the world at my feet" and "you gave me a life i never chose" about jeong jeong's high rank and how much he never wanted that path

i got a bad desire / oh, oh, oh / i'm on fire

for jeong jeong this song isn't about lust & desire in the usual sense but about the desire for waterbending and femininity. wanting something to cool the burning feeling inside, that cooling element embodied in a girl whose father left her. a gender envy song, and a song very literally about firebending.

am i reading the song totally in a way it was not intended? yeah probably. do i care? no.

9. my body is a cage - arcade fire

i'm living in an age / whose name I don't know / though the fear keeps me moving / still my heart beats so slow

dysphoria and self-loathing and internalized homophobia and disillusionment with the world oh my

10. arsonist's lullabye - hozier

all you have is your fire / and the place you need to reach / don't you ever tame your demons / but always keep 'em on a leash

i hesitated for a while putting this on here because of the line about "my peace has always depended on all the ashes in my wake" - jeong jeong's firebending does not bring her peace. but if you take that line more metaphorically, you could say that deserting the military was destructive - she burned her old life down, so to speak. and any peace she has comes from those ashes.

the rest of the song is pretty on the nose, with the chorus counseling restraint and the verses indicating a close relationship with fire throughout her life. the wiki says she was a prodigy, which fits with what we see of her. if she had a close connection to fire, if she was praised for talent with it from a young age, the guilt of what she's done with it would hit that much harder.

11. the wolf - the crane wives

'cause I’m no good at being kind to myself / or anyone

very "razor's edge between humanity and savagery", all about this idea of teetering between human and animal because you feel you are inherently a destroyer.

12. ophelia - marika hackman

but did you hear the sun go down? / silent as the child i found / hiding in the midnight of my soul / i am ready now to let her go

trans jeong jeong coming out. the sun, the source of fire, goes down, and she feels her true self can emerge.

13. a burning hill - mitski

and i am the fire and i am the forest and i am the witness watching it

THE song for angsty firebenders trying to embrace peace. that you've been a victim and a perpetrator and a bystander and now you're just going to live a quiet live and love some littler things. zuko 🤝 azula 🤝 jeong jeong - this song.