#if the others sing Night Changes in tribute I will honestly lose it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dream-a-little-bigger-x · 5 years ago

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Heathers | Sweet Pea

A/N: part four!

Act one - Act two - Act three

Words: 2984

Pairing: Sweet Pea x reader

Warnings: angst, cursing, mention of sex

Act four: Dead Girl Walking

A small gasp is heard from behind me as I stand in Sweet Pea’s kitchen, getting breakfast ready for Jordan. When I turn around, he’s exactly who’s standing behind me. I smile at him as he walks up to me and wraps his arms around me. “Good morning, Jordan,” I say and push him off me gently to lead him towards the kitchen. “Eat whatever you like and then Sweet Pea will get you to school.” The boy nods and digs into the breakfast spread I’d made. For a while, the three of us eat in silence. I ask Jordan some questions about school every now and again, but other than that, I just let him eat. After breakfast, I go to school while Sweet Pea goes to drop Jordan off at Southside Elementary. I only see him again at the Heathers rehearsals since we don’t have any classes together. “Y/N!” Kevin exclaims, making me jump a little, “Ready for Dead Girl Walking?” he asks, and I almost choke on my water. We had only done the song during the first week when exploring the music, but we hadn’t done any choreography or tried to stage it. But apparently, Kevin wants us to do that now. “Uhm, yeah, I think so…” I trail off and glance up at Sweet Pea. He has the same exact expression on his face. This scene is basically Veronica and JD having sex on stage. But like kind of PG-13. “Cool, let’s go!” Kevin claps his hands before he and Evelyn go to sit down in their directors’ chairs. “The demon queen of high school has decreed it She says Monday, 8am I will be deleted They'll hunt me down in study hall Stuff and mount me on the wall Thirty hours to live, how shall I spend them?” At first, I stand a little stiff at the front of the stage, but then I begin to move to the other side of the stage, getting more into the song as I go. “I don't have to stay and die like cattle I could change my name and ride up to Seattle But I don't own a motorbike Wait,” I point to Sweet Pea, who’s lying on the floor, pretending to be asleep, just as the script says he has to, “here's an option that I like” “Spend these thirty hours getting freaky! Yeah! I need it hard I'm a dead girl walking! I'm in your yard I'm a dead girl walking! Before they punch my clock I'm snapping off your window lock Got no time to knock!” I walk up to Sweet Pea as if I’d just gone through his window and into his bedroom. “I'm a dead girl walking...” "Veronica! What're you doing in my room?" Sweet Pea gets up, pretending to be confused. He seems to be a little more relaxed all of a sudden. But then his eyes widen as place my finger on his mouth. "Shh... Sorry but I really had to wake you See, I decided I must ride you 'til I break you 'Cause Heather says I gots to go You're my last meal on death row Shut your mouth and lose them tighty whiteys! Come on! He walks closer towards me and grabs me by my waist the same way he did last night. “Tonight I'm yours I'm your dead girl walking! Get on all fours! Kiss this dead girl walking!” I push his shoulders, so he kneels down on all fours and discard myself of my blue blazer. “Let's go, you know the drill I'm hot and pissed and on the pill Bow down to the will— Of a dead girl walking!” Kneeling down to be on the same eye-level as him, while pointing at his chest, I move on to the next verse which is suddenly less aggressive and more vulnerable, which I love most about the song. “And you know, you know, you know It's 'cause you're beautiful You say you're numb inside But I can't agree So the world's unfair Keep it locked out there In here it's beautiful Let's make this beautiful!” "That works for me." Sweet Pea says with a shrug and suddenly kisses me hard. I know we’re just acting, but I still feel that fluttery feeling in the pit of my stomach the same way I did when I kissed Reggie back in the day. He pulls me closer until I’m straddling him completely. “YEAH! Full steam ahead Take this dead girl walking!” I sit on his lap comfortable as if I’d never done anything else in my life. "How'd you find my address?" “Let's break the bed! Rock this dead girl walking!” "I think you tore my mattress!" The music slows again and I let my voice go with it, sounding more sultry and teasing. “No sleep tonight for you Better chug that Mountain Dew!” "Okay, okay" Then the music grows again and so does my voice. “Get your ass in gear Make this whole town disappear” "Okay, okay!" “Slap me, pull my hair” I slap him, grab his hand and place it in my hair, then grab his other and place it on my boob. He then takes the lead and places his other hand on my other boob, ripping open my shirt to reveal my Veronica-blue bra. “Touch me There and there and there And no more talking! Whoa! Love this dead girl walking!” “Whoa, whoa, hey, hey, yeah, yeah” “Love this dead girl” “Whoa, whoa, hey, hey, wait, wait” “Walking!” “Love this dead girl! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!” "Ow!" “Yeah!” We both end the high note perfectly and the music stops. Sweet Pea’s panting beneath me, and I need to catch my breath too. For a moment, I think we’re the only ones here since there’s no interrupting applause. I tear my eyes away from Sweet Pea to look at the directors and the other actors, whom are all staring at us with wide eyes and open mouths. None of them had expected this. “That was…” Kevin starts, then looks at Evelyn, “Steamy… Uhm… Sweet Pea, maybe next time, leave her shirt closed?” I look down to see my bra exposed and quickly tug the white shirt closed. “I liked it,” Reggie comments with a gross smirk on his face that I would like to punch off. “Why, Reg? Because you couldn’t even get me this far?” I spit out as I get up from Sweet Pea and begin buttoning up my shirt. “We’ll keep it clean next time, Kev,” I say and walk off the stage. Truth is, I felt way too comfortable up there with Sweet Pea doing that scene. I know now that I’m in love with the guy and I can’t let that happen. All this is, is acting. We’re playing a part. Just a messed-up couple in love. Just because we’ve got given that role, doesn’t mean we need to play the part in real life too. I don’t have to fall in love with Sweet Pea. And I shouldn’t fall in love with Sweet Pea. “Hey, you okay? I’m sorry I did that. I probably shouldn’t have…” the tall Serpent’s voice sounds from behind me. I sigh deeply before turning around. “Nope, you probably shouldn’t have. That wasn’t scripted and this show is supposed to be PG-13 or at least in this school it is, apparently.” I groan, mostly at myself for letting myself come this far. I push past him to get back to the stage where we’re about to rehearse Shine a Light with Alice Cooper – who’s playing miss Fleming – for the first time ever. “Are we still on for rehearsing tonight?” he asks, yelling after me. I turn around but keep walking backwards. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Pea. I’m sorry.” I turn around before I can see his reaction to my cancelation of plans and join the others again. I honestly want to go to his place to rehearse tonight, but I just think I’ll kiss him instead of rehearsing. And by kiss him, I mean kiss him as me, Y/N Y/L/N, not as Veronica Sawyer.

“Last bit for today, then you’re off for today,” Evelyn announces after an hour of rehearsing other songs. We’ve done pretty much everything but Dead Girl Walking again and Meant to Be Yours. “Let’s do the reprise of Dead Girl Walking, I am Damaged and Seventeen reprise back to back without a break.” For which I need to be on stage all the time. And Sweet Pea and I have a fight sequence in there too, choreographed by Toni Topaz and ourselves. I breathe in a couple of times, shaking off any anxiety I’m feeling to be doing a scene with Sweet Pea again. I haven’t been able to shake the feeling he gave me when we were practically making out on stage a good hour ago. Then, the music starts. “I wanted someone strong who could protect me I let his anger fester and infect me His solution is a lie No one here deserves to die Except for me and the monster I created Yeah! Yeah! Heads up, J.D., I'm a dead girl walking! Can't hide from me, I'm a dead girl walking! And there's your final bell” I point upwards as if motioning to a real school bell whilst the sound of said bell is heard. “It's one more dance and then farewell Cheek to cheek in hell with a dead girl walkin'!” “Come on, Westerberg! Here we go, here we go now!” Veronica squeals excitedly, dressed in her Westerberg cheerleading outfit. I bump into Alice Cooper and she mocks surprise and shock whilst saying, “Veronica! Jason Dean told me you'd just committed suicide!” “Yeah, well, he's wrong about a lot of things,” I say with an annoyed tone in my voice. “Oh, well, I threw together a lovely tribute, especially considering the short notice...” Ms. Fleming states braggingly. Completely ignoring her, I ask her, “Ms. Fleming, what's under the gym?” “The boiler room.” I point to her as if a brilliant idea had just entered my mind, “That's it!” I exclaim and turn around from Alice Cooper. “Veronica, what's going on?” “Got no time to talk, I'm a dead girl walking!” I then begin singing the song again while the Westerberg students at the Pep Rally cheer onto the Rottweilers football team. “Hey yo, Westerberg! Hey yo, Westerberg! Tell me what's that sound? Here comes Westerberg Comin' to put you in the ground! Go go, Westerberg! Give a great big yell! Westerberg will knock you out And send you straight to hell!” I walk up to Sweet Pea who’s fumbling around with the fake bomb. “A Norwegian in the boiler room, just like your dad,” I say softly, and watch him as he chuckles before turning his head to me. “And here I thought you’d lost your taste for faking suicides.” “Step away from the bomb,” I then say sternly, making him look up at me with a smirk tugging at his lips. He now completely turns around, taking a prop gun out of his trench coat. He doesn’t point it at me, he just holds it by his side. “This little thing?” He points at the bomb attached to the fake lockers, “I'd hardly call this a bomb. This is just to trigger the packs of thermals upstairs in the gym. Those are bombs. People are gonna see the ashes of Westerberg High School and they're gonna think 'there's a school that self-destructed not because society doesn't care but because that school was society'. The only place that Heathers and Marthas can get along is in Heaven!” There’s something hot about Sweet Pea pretending to have completely lost his mind. “I wish your mom had been a little stronger” Sweet Pea then ad libs, “Don’t talk about my mom!” “I wish she stayed around a little longer” “Stop!” “I wish your dad were good! I wish grown-ups understood! I wish we’d met before They convinced you life is war! I wish you'd come with me—" “I wish I had more TNT!” Sweet Pea yells manically. I groan annoyed and begin reaching for the gun he'd taken out, but he keeps pushing me away and we’re running around one another like some crazy baboons. In the meanwhile, the other students at Westerberg sing the rest of the song. “Hey yo, Westerberg! Hey yo, Westerberg! Tell me what's that sound? Here comes Westerberg Comin' to put you in the ground! Go go, Westerberg! Give a great big yell! Westerberg will knock you out And send you straight to…” I’d managed to grab the gun from him and shot him in the arm. I gasp at my own antics as a tear rolls down my cheek. I’m not entirely sure if it’s a real tear or if I’m fake-crying – I’ve gotten pretty good at that – but considering the condition my mind is in, it might be an actual tear. Sweet Pea holds onto his arm with one hand whilst grabbing the fake bomb with his other, and leaps into the next song. “I am damaged Far too damaged But you're not beyond repair Stick around here Make things better 'Cause you beat me fair and square Please stand back now” I step back, still choking back tears and wiping at the ones that do escape. “Little further I take another step. Sweet Pea’s eyes meet mine, and for a second, I think he’s asking me if I’m alright. As if he can tell I’m really crying instead of acting. “Don't know what this thing will do I hope you miss me Wish you'd kiss me Then you'd know I worship you I'll trade my life for yours” “Oh my god...” I sing, Veronica finally catching on what’s about to happen. “And once I disappear” “Wait, hold on!” My singing overlaps his, making this vocal crossing. I love a good vocal crossing. “Clean up the mess down here!” “Not this way!” “Our love is God Our love is God Our love is God Our love is God” Veronica Sawyer finally accepts their fate, and bring out a soft, “Say hi to God” before the sound effect of a bomb going off sounds through the auditorium, making me jump a little bit. This is where the lights would go out and the students of Westerberg high are back on stage as I’m off, and come back a few seconds later, coughing and limping. “Where have you been? Ms. Fleming told us you killed yourself!” Veronica exclaims when she sees me. She genuinely sounds worried. “You look like hell!” Betty muses, looking at me in disgust. “Yeah? I just got back,” I retort, and then reach for the red scrunchie Betty now has in her hair. “Veronica, what are you doing?” she asks as I face the crowd and hold up the red scrunchie that’s considered a crown at Westerberg High. “Listen up folks War is over Brand new sheriff's come to town” I tie my hair up in a low pony with the scrunchie, signaling that Veronica Sawyer is now the brand new sheriff. “We're all damaged, we're all frightened, we're all freaks but that's alright We'll endure it, we'll survive it,” I then look at Jodie, who had driven up the stage with her cool scooter after her accident as Martha. “Martha are you free tonight?” “What?” she asks, hope displayed in her eyes. “My date for the pep rally kinda blew—me off… So, I thought if you weren’t doing anything tonight, we could pop some Jiffy Pop, rent some new releases, something with a happy ending…” “Are there any happy endings?” Jodie asks with a sad tone in her voice. I grab her hand in mine and start singing the next lines to her. “I can't promise no more Heathers, high school may not ever end, still I miss you, I'd be honored, if you'd let me be your friend.” Jodie smiles up at me, “My friend.” “We can be seventeen, we can learn how to chill, If no one loves me now, some day somebody will We can be seventeen, still time to make things right,” I reach my hand out to Heather McNamara, AKA Veronica Lodge. “One day we'll change the world, but let's kick back tonight” She hesitates, looking up at Betty first before determinedly taking my hand, even though Betty does want to stop her. We then leap back into a vocal crossing, the boys singing something different from the girls. “Let's go be seventeen, take off our clothes and dance,” / “You know, you know, you know, we can be beautiful” We all grab each other’s hands, making a line of kids that crosses the entire stage. Only Sweet Pea isn’t a part of this. He’s sitting in the crowd, looking at me and only me. We lock eyes as I continue to sing with the others. “Act like we're all still kids, cause this may be our final chance Always be seventeen, celebrate you and i, maybe we won't grow old” “And maybe then we'll never die,” the boys and girls harmonize again. “We'll make it beautiful; We'll make it beautiful.” We then start pumping our fist in the air with every ‘Beautiful’ that comes out of our mouths. “Beautiful Beautiful Beautiful Beautiful Beautiful Beautiful Beautiful Beautiful Beautiful” All of us end on the high note, all smiling, all happy we’re a part of this. I’m so glad I got to do this. The only thing I’m not glad about is what I’m feeling towards Sweet Pea. I need to find a way to forget about him. Forget any sparks I may have felt during our on-stage kiss or at Pop’s or at his trailer. I need to forget about him.

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surveys-at-your-service · 5 years ago

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Survey #243

honestly too lazy to think up random song lyrics here, so just have the survey.

What is the one thing you remember most about January of last year? Nothing. You look at the clock and it’s 11:11, do you wish? I never do, no. How do you think you will look 3 years from now? I pray the fuck to god I'm finally at a weight I want. And of course more tattoos and piercings. And colored hair. What would be number one on your bucket list? Meet, thank, and hug Mark profusely while ugly crying. How old do you think you’ll be when you make your will? I don't know. You get a text message. who do you hope it is? Sara. Are there any songs that you hear that just make you wanna dance? Not really, no. Do you get any of your songs from Limewire? lol how old is this... but no. I did when it was "the thing," though. You and your best friend get in a fight. Why do you think that is? I don't know. Probably said something that came across wrong over a text. What is your biggest annoyance at the time? Financial shit. You see the person you fell hardest for. What do you do? Apologize to him if he's even okay with me speaking a word to him and then letting him on his way because I don't want to make him think I'm still stuck on him. I'd wanna know how things are in his life, but I don't want him to get the wrong impression. It'd be better for both of us. Have/are you depressed? I mean I'm diagnosed with depression, but it's well-managed. At the moment I'm not *depressed*, no. Did you grow up in the United States? Yeah. Never left it, even. Do you call anybody "baby"? Besides my cat and snake, no. Who is the one person you can completely be yourself around? Sara. Are your pop-ups blocked on your computer? Yeah. Do you wear earrings on a normal basis? No. How old were you when you realized that life goes on? I don't know... This is such a vague question. But I guess probably when a childhood cat disappeared or died sometime in elementary school. Are your parent’s night owls or morning birds? Well, I don't live with Dad, but Mom is a night owl more than a morning bird for sure. She can be so grouchy in the morning. Do you like to sing? Eh. Who is your favorite author? *shrugs* I don't read enough. How many pillows are on your bed? Two. What’s your favorite thing about the holidays? Seeing my niece and nephew so excited. What is your favorite type of cake? Red velvet, baby. How many rings do you wear on a day-to-day basis? One. Have you ever been in a mental hospital as a patient? Multiple times. Probably WOULDN'T have been multiple if the psych hospitals here were worth a damn. Went to the same one like five-six times and one other and both sucked. It was a partial hospitalization program, WHICH ISN'T AS "SERIOUS" AS AN ACTUAL FUCKING PSYCH HOSPITALIZATION, that saved my ass. What’s your favorite brand of flavored water? None. Have you ever had an ulcer? No. Do you take birth control pills? Not anymore, no. I was only on them for serious period pain, but as of recently my psychiatrist wanted to test out how I do mood-wise without them, especially as it was a regular occurrence for me to be borderline or actually suicidal the day before my cycle started, and the whole week leading up to it was sketchy. So far, I've been fine - I think even better. I was on it for years, and I mean your body changes, so. Do you like soy sauce? Noooooo no no no. Do you have a good doctor? My psychiatrist is literally the reason I'm alive. That's no exaggeration. I would've killed myself by now if it wasn't for him setting my medicine right. I know I would've. My therapist is great, and my primary physician is fine. What’s your favorite store to browse around? Morph Market, ahaha. I love looking at all the reptile morphs, especially the ball pythons. Do you ever meditate on Scripture? No. Do you like poetry? Yes. Do you have expensive tastes? Nah. What is your favorite color? Pink, particularly lighter hues. Have you ever made a scrapbook? Yeah, for a little while when I was younger. What is a question you get asked too much? If my lip piercing hurt. It doesn't bother me, I'm just asked it most. Worst grade you’ve ever gotten? Zeros on things I didn't do/missed. Who are your 3 closest friends? Sara, Girt, and uh... Chelsea, I think. Maybe Lisa. What is something you have always wanted to do? Travel somewhere cool/really memorable. What are you listening to? A playthrough of The Last Guardian. God, I wanna play it so badly. Do you like the smell of cinnamon? It's one of my favorites, omg. Are you in a relationship? No. Do you like the band Hollywood Undead? Yeah. Do you like Taco Bell? Only the quesadillas, THE CINNABON DELIGHT THINGS, and fiesta potatoes. Who was the first person you spoke to today? My mom. Who was the last? I was just texting the woman who adopted Kaiju; she's catching me up on how she's doing, and apparently great! We're trying to plan a day for me to come see her. :> Have you told anyone you loved them today? Yeah. What song is stuck in your head right now? You mentioned HU, now "Bullet" is looping in my head lol. Does it snow where you live? Sometimes, but rarely a lot. What are you currently sitting/laying on? My bed. Have you ever dated a friend of one of your siblings? No. How old is your oldest living grandparent? 80-something. Do you wear contacts? No, I wear glasses, but I wish I could do contacts again considering I desperately want an undereye microdermal but it'd look stupid with glasses, so. Contacts just annoy me. Where are the last three places you went? Taco Bell, my doctor's appointment, and the gas station. Do you ever go hunting/fishing? I would never in my life hunt, and I don't even want to fish anymore. Both are cruel (hunting more than "cruel"...) imo. I'd only ever fish again if Dad asked me to go with him, because since I was a kid, that's always been our "thing," our bonding experience. I wouldn't be able to say no. Do you know anyone who is a nurse? A lot, actually. Would you prefer to own a lapdog or a bigger dog? Sigh. Didn't think I'd want a dog after Teddy, but as of very recently, I've found myself missing the companionship of one. I don't know if I'll end up with another, though, but if I do, I'd want a medium-sized one, like Teddy was. Are you more of a cat person? Yes. What is your worst subject? Math. Do you know anyone who plays guitar? Yeah. Do you play guitar? Not anymore. Have you had to have stitches at all in the last year? No. Have you ever stayed up all night and then gone to work in the morning? No. That sounds like hell. How many relationships have you been in so far this year? It's a week into January lmao. No. Do you prefer to be single or with someone? With someone. Though now that I am single, I kinda think that's for the better right now...? Eh idk. Do you have any tattoos? Yeah. Are you planning on getting any? Oh, plenty. My Mark tribute is getting tidied up by a great artist on the 4th next month and I CANNOT contain my excitement. Did you lose your virginity before you were sixteen? No. Have you ever dated someone who had a child? No, and I never would. What are the middle names of everyone in your family? Wow yeah, lemme share that on the Internet. Where did you go the last time you took a vacation? The beach. Would you ever consider adoption? I don't want kids so like, Who is someone you aspire to be like? Man, there's a lot of people who inspire me in different ways. I think the world knows I look up to the wisdom, determination, dedication, creativity, compassion, etc. etc. etc. of Mark, I adore the heart and empathy of Shane Dawson, Steve Irwin is my absolute idol in terms of passion for animals, and Jeffree Star's work ethic is like, unbelievable. There are plenty others, but those really stand out. How do you feel about your life right now? oof What is your favorite game show to watch? Family Feud with Steve Harvey. He is so fuckin funny. How good are you in trivia games? What’s your best category? Idk. I'm probably best with animal knowledge though, judging from games I've played along with. Would you much rather test your knowledge or share opinions? I guess it depends on the subject and with whom. How do you feel about word games? Fun. Who is your absolute favorite film director? TIM BURTON. THERE IS NO COMPETITION W/ HIM. When’s the last time had to cover a coworker’s shift? Never. Have you ever had a really unreliable coworker? I've never worked long enough to know. Have you ever had to have a ring resized? No. What is a question you would never ever ask somebody? "I would never ask someone what they weigh." <<< This. I'm not a doctor, so I don't see any situation where that'd be an appropriate question to ask anyone. What sounds like a rude word but really isn’t? I'm sure there's something, but idk rn. Have you ever made a blanket? If so, how did you make one? No. How many godparents do you have? Do they care about you? Zero, I think. What is something that should not exist? Rape. Is there a word you have an emotional connection to? It sounds weird I'm sure, but "petrichor" (the smell of the earth after it rains) makes me feel... weird. Nostalgic, anxious, melancholy. Shortly before becoming a couple, Jason and I were just outside at school while it was raining, and we wondered what that smell was called. When we went back to the computer lab (where we were after exams were done), we looked it up and found out "petrichor" was the term. I remember those days too clearly for them to have happened eight years ago. How about a sound? Any emotional connection to a sound? Ummm not that I can think of. Is there something coming up that you are dreading? Not really, no. Do you ever read graphic novels? No. What is the most ridiculous product you have ever seen? Oh idk. Are there any spiders in your home right now? I mean realistically, probably? None that I know of. What was the last thing that made you laugh hysterically? I can't remember exactly what it was, but something on YouTube. I think on Game Grumps. Are there any candy stores where you live? Not that I'm aware of. Do you own any fingerless gloves? Yeah, I still have them in my drawer, actually. I wore them every day in high school. Tell me about the last animal you touched. My cat Roman. :') Have you ever witnessed a birth? Only cats. Can you see your reflection from where you are sitting? No. Wait, yes I can, though only slightly. My snake's cage is just across the room, so I can see against the glass a bit. Quick! Sniff the air. What can you smell? Cat. .-. Have you ever been in a restroom that actually had a restroom attendant? No? What was the last photo you took of? A deer! There were like, seven or eight in the field just across the road a few evenings ago. My lens didn't go out as close as I'd want, but I took some as practice anyway. I only got a few shots though; I came out to the front porch, and after about a minute, they gradually went back into the woods. What do you look for in a mate? Physically and personality-wise. Am I the only one who hates when human couples are referred to as "mates"???? Idk man it shouldn't because we're just animals, but it's weird. ANYWAY, I don't have like, a concrete vision of a partner, but I do have some set-in-stone personality/moral alignments that are musts, such as just being a generally good person, empathetic, you must love animals or shoo, be in touch with their emotions, understanding, soft stuff like that. I also have a strong preference for having a good sense of humor, I lean more romantically towards outgoing people, you gotta be laid-back and approachable... that kind of stuff. Physically, I really, really don't care, but I think we all have preferences; ex., while it really doesn't matter to me ultimately, I tend to find longer hair on guys more attractive than short. Your thoughts on bacon? Ugh, I wish I didn't love it. I wanna be a vegetarian again so badly. What are your thoughts on little kids with cell phones? If they're of an age where they may be separated from their parents semi-regularly and without the constant presence of a guardian, I'm actually for them having *simple* cellphones. Emergencies exist, and even I, someone who doesn't even want kids, would be scared knowing my child is without an easy, quick method of contact with me. Now, remember I did say "simple" cellphones; I don't believe a little kid should grow up unhealthily attached to technology (like me lmao), so especially in developmental years, I wouldn't want my kid to be glued to their phone playing games or roaming the Internet too freely. What was the last lie you told? I'm not sure. Is there anyone in particular you always try to tune out? Ugh, yes. For political bullshit that I cannot stand hearing. Do you work out? No. What was the last thing you ate with a spoon? Uhhhh probably oatmeal. What is a food that you always are in the mood to eat? Ice cream lmao. Ever held a newborn animal? Yeah. Is there anything you’re in denial about? What? Maybe, idk. Have you ever been to a Chinatown? No. Do you prefer chunky or creamy peanut butter? CREAMY. Don't come near me with chunky pb. Do you stop to pick up heads-up pennies? No. Do you make a wish when you blow out your birthday candles? Yeah, even though I don't believe it does anything. It's just for the novelty of it. Do your pets have collars? Describe them: Bentley just has a blue, average collar. Roman doesn't because he absolutely hates them. What is the last thing you searched for online? Surveys. Do you use any scented lotions? What do they smell like? No. Do you have any friends that speak any languages you don’t understand? I mean yeah, Spanish is common in America.

#survey #quiz #questions #random #bored

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hopeishappinessff · 6 years ago

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Holding Onto Hope: Chapter 59.1

Hope

Cailah Faith Brown. My baby girl… our baby girl. The “C” placed proudly by her father who insisted that some part of her name needed to have his mark on it… though she would carry his entire last name. The night Tawny, my dad, and Diana got in town they all spent at least half an hour ogling over the size of my belly because all our Face Time chats apparently did it no justice. Tawny then proceeded to spend the remainder of the night fussing at Chris and I for failing to give our child an identity. She demanded that we sit down with her and at least come up with a list of options that we could choose from the day the baby was born. But the moment she tossed that name out as a mere suggestion, I fell in love. Cailah… my daughter, honorably named by her aunt. Faith, her middle name… a direct tribute to my mother… Faith Marie Donsen. And Brown… the thought of my child proudly carrying her father’s last name filled me with envy and happiness all at the same time.

Today was officially day three past my due date and honestly, today was officially the day that I was completely over the whole pregnancy. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my pregnancy… every last minute of it. I wouldn’t change a single aspect of it, other than the months where Chris wasn’t by my side like I’d always envisioned. But there comes a point in a woman’s pregnancy, well at least mine anyway, where she’s just over the whole damn thing. I was tired of being tired all the time. Tired of feeling so ridiculously large from my neck down to my ankles. Tired of feeling so insanely in love with the father of my child, yet feeling uncontrollable urges to whack him upside the head at the most random of times. Simply put… I was tired of being pregnant and I may or may not have made the mistake of sharing that with the girls, and Tawny, because now… they had made it a personal mission to help me induce my labor.

“Let me lay it on the line I got a little freakiness inside And you know that the man Has gotta deal with it I don’t care what they say I’m not about to pay nobody’s way Cause it’s all about the dog in me Mmhmmm…”

I stood in place between Destani and Tameka, hands swirling around the front of my belly, hair pulled up into the messiest bun that was tilting pathetically from the side of my head, and perspiration coating my exposed skin. The coffee table that was once situated in the center of the den had been pushed to the side, offering maximum floor space for our shenanigans. Nalay stood feet away, orchestrating our choreography and Tawny maintained a red face from trying to refrain from laughing as she held three different phones up trying to capture the whole thing on video.

“I want a freak in the morning A freak in the evening, just like me I need a roughneck brother That can satisfy me, just for me If you are that kind of man Cause I’m that kind of girl I got a freaky secret, everybody sing Cause we don’t give a damn about a thing…”

“Dip low Sy, dip low. Don’t forget to squat. We gotta expand that cervix girl!” Nalay yelled out, coaching me into the proper positions she believed would make my water break.

“Like this bitch.” Destani dropped down to my right, into the lowest possible squat I’d ever seen, then seductively lifted her body back up with her tongue sticking out and her hands running up the curves of her torso and chest.

“Nuh-unh bitch, if you gone squat on it… fucking squat on it!” Tameka exclaimed and the next thing I knew, down she went… right into a full split. The girls howled as she bounced in place a few times on whatever imaginary “it” she’d just squatted on. Eventually she leaned her torso forward and flattened herself out against the floor, sliding her legs straight behind her and propping herself up onto her shins so she could have better leverage to twerk it in the middle of the floor.

“Nigga we tryna get her to go into labor, not seduce Chris into putting baby number two in there before number one can even make her way out!” Destani cackled.

“Meka, where the hell did you even get that from?” Nalay was now hunched over, gripping onto her knees as she laughed and wiped at the underside of her eyes.

“Ya’ll bitches better take notes… how to keep a man 101. Ask Kendrick where I got it from!” Rolling over onto her back, she did some type of acrobatic move, rolling her entire lower half up into the air and pressing her hands down on the floor beneath her to complete a roll that eventually landed her on her feet.

“Nah, nah… Sy’Diyah the one with a whole baby up in her. She the one who should be leading lessons on how to keep niggas. With Chris ole sprung ass.” Destani said.

“You ain’t lying though girl.” Tameka chuckled, breathing hard as she neared Destani and slapped hands with her.

“Um, ladies… I still have videos recording here. We aren’t done.” Tawny giggled.

“Oh shit. Rewind the song like one-minute Nay.” Destani instructed, quickly shifting back into position to my right. Tameka fell right back into place at my left and we anxiously waited for Nalay to get us back to where we left off.

I could honestly say that I was enjoying myself. I was exhausted, but enjoying myself non-the-less. Since early this morning, the girls had taken this whole thing right into the palms of their hands and personally made it their mission to get some type of activity from this little girl in my belly. Leave it to her to be a stubborn little thing and refuse to come on time… she was three days late to be exact. As I’d mentioned before, however, I was truthfully not interested in rushing her at all… mama just wanted to give her a little encouragement is all.

I continued to swivel my hips to the heavy beat of the song, courtesy of Destani’s JBL Bluetooth music box, and actually shut my eyes and momentarily lost myself in the beat.

“Boy you’re moving kind of slow You got to keep it up Now there you go There’s just one thing that a man must do Mmhmm I’m packing all the flavor you need I got you shook up on your knees Cause it’s all about the dog in me…”

Completely lost in my own zone, I stepped away from the trio and allowed the beat to consume me and my hips. I swirled and twirled, dropped it like it was hot on whatever the imaginary “it” was from Tameka’s show earlier, and bent over to catch my knees so I could transition into a smooth twerk.

“AYYYYYEEEEE, that’s my got damn bama right there! You better get it baby mama… fuck it up girl!” Destani yelled, cheering along with the girls, and hyping me up even further. I could feel a smile gracing my face as I reached up to tug the miserable hair tie from my locks, freeing it in the sexiest of ways. My belly was completely exposed, because I no longer cared much for clothes. I was in the company of my girls tonight, so I figured there was no harm at all in a pair of comfy spandex shorts that had risen and exposed the cusp of my butt cheeks. And the only thing covering any portion of my top was a turquoise sports bra from my collection of many. I was in my element and there was no one and nothing that could stop me.

I could hear extra commotion in the room at some point, but the girls were shouting even louder and hyping me so much I paid no mind to it at all. My aunt, dad, and Diana had gone over to Ms. Joyce’s a few hours ago to help her with a few last-minute touches to the nursery and she’d already informed me that once they were done there, they would be stepping out for a bite to eat. So it was just the girls and I for the evening, and I was perfectly content with that. As usual, I had no real knowledge of where my boyfriend was and I refused to allow thoughts of that to ruin my night and thankfully the girls respected my unspoken wishes to not bring him up.

I had just run a hand through my wild and waist length tresses, swiping a handful of the golden curly mess out of my face. While that hand was occupied in my hair… the other was gripping onto Tameka’s right shoulder so that I wouldn’t lose my balance and go toppling over as I alternated between rolling my body and twerking my butt. When I felt the sudden sensation of another pair of hands right at the cusp of my widened hips and my bulging belly, my eyes shot open and an immediate frown fell onto my face.

“One to the two, to the two, to the three Sy’Diyah do you wanna have a baby with me? One to the two, to the two, to the three Sy’Diyah do you wanna have a baby with me?” The altered verse was chanted a few more times into my ear and I could feel a rhythmic bump against my backside, matching the beat of the song perfectly. The crotch of this mysterious person was pressed firmly against my butt and I nearly gasped at the feeling of their semi hardness rubbing against me.

“Baby daddy better get that shit bih! Get it Chris, get it Chris!” The commotion in the den of the house was at its loudest now, if that was even possible, and I could hear both male and female voices yelling at the top of their lungs like we were in the middle of a close NBA game. Swinging my head around to the left, I strained my neck to look back into the grinning face of none other than my child’s father. His grin made me grin, but his crotch still pressed against my butt caught my attention again before I could fully acknowledge him.

“Ain’t I tell you that pregnant shit turns me on?” He’d wedged his face into the crook of my neck and mumbled those panty soaking words against my skin. I was thankful that my spandex shorts were black.

He maintained his grip on my waist, but I managed to turn completely to face him and held onto him the best way I could with a thousand pounds attached to my front side “Down daddy.”

He hissed sharply and chuckled against my neck then slowly pulled back and glanced down at my lips “You tryna get me riled up in front of all our friends baby?”

God I loved when he talked like that. I smirked and pulled away from him, but not before he meshed his lips against mine and puckered them three times, followed by his hands roughing up my butt cheeks a bit.

“Aye nigga, don’t let these kids see all that now. They don’t need to know exactly how ya’ll made that baby.” Dontay laughed obnoxiously as he pushed his way through the living room, beelining directly toward Tawny. She stood there smiling and biting her bottom lip bashfully, awaiting his arrival… they were so stinking cute.

“The hell ya’ll in here doing anyway? Sy, you tryna give the homegirls lessons on how to get like you or what? No lie… if Meeks gone be doing that shit on the dick tonight, she might be next up.” Kendrick set off a heavy chain reaction of laughter that rumbled through the whole crew and I couldn’t help but drop my head against Chris’s shoulder as I trembled with laughter.

“Boo, if you would have seen the shit yo girl was in here doing like half an hour ago, Meeks probably would have been first in line, okay!” Destani howled. Tameka laughed ratchetly, stuck a middle finger up at Destani, then turned to her man and greeted him with a nice sloppy kiss.

“See man, that’s that shit… ya’ll niggas is just nasty, both of ya’ll,” BJ chuckled, pointing a finger toward Chris and Kendrick, “You ain’t gotta do all that show boating to greet your woman.”

“Nigga shut yo philosophical lookin ass up!” Rashad called out, igniting a fresh batch of laughter. I was much too worn out from the hours of nonstop dancing we’d just put in to continue entertaining our over-enthusiastic group of friends, so I discreetly waddled over to the love seat, but was stopped in my tracks before my butt could connect with the seat. It was Chris who’d stopped me, because now that he’d just randomly made his appearance at the house after disappearing for hours, he suddenly wanted to be all up under me… literally. He plopped down on the couch before me and gently grabbed me by my waist, carefully pulling me down to claim my seat on his lap. He helped me maneuver my body to the side, because it was the most comfortable for me, and I ended up looking like a large child cradled in his arms from the way he held me. I smiled at the thought. It never failed to amaze me how easily he could take my mind off of my irritation with him… he made it impossible for me to be mad at him for too long.

“What were ya’ll doing?” He asked. I couldn’t help but take in the amusement on his face. His smile always made me smile.

“The girls really wanted to help me induce labor.”

“Oh okay. But… what were ya’ll doing though?”

We held eye contact for a while before we both burst into laughter and I slapped him playfully on the shoulder “I mean, what did it look like? We were dancing.”

“Oh word? Kinda looked like you were tryna seduce the girls… that shit was sexy.”

“You’re silly,” I giggled, “But while you’re asking me what we were doing, I think I’m the one who should be asking you that.”

His bright eyes roamed the room for a while before he dropped his gaze to me, absorbing every inch of my face as his tongue slithered out over his bottom lip “You think so?”

“Christopher…” I started, attempting to push myself up further to sit eye to eye with him, but obviously the task wasn’t as simple as I thought so I quickly decided to just frown up at him instead.

“Sy’Diyah?” He smirked.

That annoyed me, so that’s when I decided to face the struggle of sitting up because now I wanted to remove myself from his lap completely. He had me in a good mood for all of five minutes and just like that, I was over him again.

“Babe, wait… what are you doing?”

I didn’t respond, because I couldn’t respond, because I was too out of breath from scooting myself around and struggling to get up from his lap. He still held that same amused expression on his face and that really left me with an urge to slap him. Did he really think this was a joke? Because no one was laughing…

“Hope, I was playing. Chill out before you hurt yourself.”

“Oh, you really do think it’s a joke?” I mumbled under my breath. All the grunting and huffing and puffing I’d done to twist my body around to face forward meant absolutely nothing when he simply tugged me backwards and sat up straighter so I would at least be a tad comfortable when he meshed my back against his chest.

“I had some business to take care of.” He tried to reason, with his voice all soft and his lips pressed gently against my skin.

“Whatever Chris. Let me go.” And of course, he did the exact opposite. He held me closer and continued to peck his lips against my neck discreetly as the crew babbled on in front of us about some new movie on Fandango and who was going to input their debit card information to purchase it.

“The boys were with me, if that makes you feel any better.”

Smacking my lips and rolling my eyes, I sighed heavily through my nose and crossed my arms over my chest “So you have them out there dabbling in stuff none of you should have any business in? Seriously Charlie?”

The low rumble of his chuckle in the crook of my neck had me shutting my eyes briefly, but I quickly gained my senses and snatched them open because our position was compromising enough and I didn’t need to draw any unnecessary attention to us in a room filled with nosy spectators.

“Is that what you think? Somebody is dabbling in some illegal shit? Girl you funny… thought you knew your man better than that.”

“I thought I did too.” My words were laced with attitude and I’m sure he could sense that from the way he momentarily tensed beneath me.

I could feel his lips parting against my neck in preparation to say something else, but the newest conversation floating around the room quickly gained my attention and I strained my ears to make sure I was actually hearing it correctly…

“Well they should be out for a while, so I don’t think it would be a problem. Even if they came back earlier than we’re thinking, we’ll just make sure we’re down here to cover for them.” Tawny spoke quickly and quietly, surprising me completely because if this was what I thought they were discussing I was shocked that she’d be in the thick of it.

“Unless they go to Breezy house. Won’t it be kinda awkward in this house full of people?” Kendrick chimed in.

“Nah nigga, we’ve endured this shit plenty of times before. Them niggas is wild… the entire city of Richmond could be in this house and the homie gone still put it down.” Dontay cackled. A few of them laughed, but I could hear a few quick “shhh’s” telling them to keep it down.

“Don, what if you just let them go to your place and you just stay here? So they can have more privacy and shit?” Tameka asked.

“Meka, why don’t you fucking let them go to your place? If I’m there or not, I will still know in the back of my mind that the homie is fucking my friend into labor.”

“What the fuck are ya’ll talking about?” Chris blurted before I had a chance to open my mouth. I hadn’t even realized that he was listening, because I’d tuned in so intently I forgot I was even in his lap for a second.

“Aww shit, we ain’t think ya’ll was listening.” Destani giggled, failing to do so innocently.

“Okay, but what are ya’ll talking about though?” I asked.

“We’re just trying to help you induce this labor Sy…” My gaze shifted to Nalay in amazement… they were all in on whatever this sick plan was?

“Wait, ya’ll are all sitting down there discussing this right now?” Chris asked. I could hear the humor in his voice, but I couldn’t quite bring myself to crack a smile… were they serious?

“I mean, we just wanna make sure our niece comes… she’s already almost a week late, right? We just as excited to see her as you nigga.” That was Dontay… having the audacity to sound offended that we were possibly offended about the conversation they’d been engaging in, that no one had actually stepped up to confirm yet.

“So no one is going to tell us what you were actually talking about?” At this point I was already well aware, I just wanted one of them to say it.

“Girl we done tried everything today. We walked your ass three miles this morning, went and got lunch at that Thai place up the street from Meka house, put together full choreography for the past few hours… the only thing ya’ll ain’t tried yet is sex.”

Again, I could feel Chris tensing beneath me and his face suddenly found its way into the crook of my neck again. Subconsciously I reached down to caress his thigh, my touch relaxing him almost immediately.

“You’re seriously admitting to me that you guys are sitting right in our faces, talking about… that?” I asked with the blankest face I could muster.

“I actually found the topic a bit weird myself Sy…” Kendrick spoke up, only to be quickly popped on the shoulder by his frowning girlfriend.

“We ain’t ask you how you felt about it nigga,” Tameka fussed, rolling her eyes and her neck around to face me, “What ya’ll think about it?”

“I think we should no longer continue this conversation because Kendrick is absolutely right… it’s very weird.” I said.

“See…” Again, Kendrick attempted to speak up to defend himself, but the hard glare on Tameka’s face shut him up abruptly.

“Ugh, fine,” Dontay drew immediate attention to himself when he huffed and sighed loudly, “Ya’ll can just go to my place. I know it’s for a good cause… as long as you promise me and T can have your room Sy.”

I could feel a headache creeping on the harder I frowned. My friends had all officially lost their minds.

“Tay!” Tawny gasped, slapping a hand over her mouth as a deep blush set in on her face. I would have laughed at the sight of her wearing her shyness right on her sleeve, but I suddenly remembered a certain shy someone who still had his face bashfully hidden from everyone in the room.

“Breezy, come on baby. I’m offering you my whole crib so you can get some pus…”

“Dontay! You gone make this man pass out… you see he ain’t tryna hear you right now.” Nalay blurted, thankfully cutting Dontay off before he completed his brash statement which, as she’d stated, would very well push Mr. bashful to the brink of simply passing out.

“Wait, hol up… have ya’ll… have ya’ll even done that, yet?” My eyes narrowed in on Destani and I glared at her, refusing to respond to her or to even continue to entertain any of them and this unnecessary awkwardness.

“Charlie, don’t listen to them. They’re all crazy.” I muttered, attempting to turn in his tight grasp to face him.

I could feel him shaking his head as his face remained one with the skin of my neck and I couldn’t help but giggle when I felt his lips start to move “It’s okay. Maybe they’re right…”

This time it was my turn to tense up and gasp at the sudden realization of what he’d just said… as well as the feeling of his lips pressing softly against my neck.

“What do you mean?” I whispered. There was something extremely intimidating about the way all of our friends were sitting there staring at us, all of them smiling as if watching the best new series on Netflix. I wasn’t too keen on having a whole private conversation with Chris right there in their faces, even if we were whispering.

“You have tried everything… but that. I mean, I’ve heard that it really does work… the least we can do is try…”

I wasn’t even sure how to respond. Was he serious? Were they serious? Sure I was more than ready for this pregnancy to be over, but… was I really that ready?

For a while the crew continued to sit there, chatting lightly amongst themselves and glancing awkwardly at Chris and I every few seconds. I had hopes that by some miracle everyone had forgotten about that conversation and it seemed as if they had… until I felt myself being lifted from Chris’s lap.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“I think we should call it a night now…”

TBC...

#chrisbrown #chrisbrownff #chrisbrownfanfic #jasminesanders #chrisbrownfanfiction #jasminesandersff #teambreezy #teambreezyff #fanfiction #fanfic

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tuneful-ramblings · 6 years ago

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The Kick Inside - Kate Bush: Album Review

Release Date: 17th Feb 1978

Hello

And so it has begun. Welcome to Tuneful Ramblings, where I plan to review/discuss a wide variety of music, whether it’s music I’ve loved for years, something I’ve just discovered or something someone has requested me to review. Oh, and one last thing: There will be rambling. You have been warned. :)

What is it to me?

I’ve chosen to begin with one of my all time favourite albums by one of my all time favourite artists. There will probably be a fair amount of bias in this review, and I’m not sorry about it.

The Context

Picture the scene. It’s 1978, Britain. Things are okay, but something is missing and no one is quite sure why. Until… hark! A distant warbling can be heard over the rolling English countryside. It gets closer and closer until it lands amongst the mortals and suddenly, everything falls into place. For the first time, Kate Bush graces the speakers and screens of anyone brave enough to listen. And all across the land, everything is well.

The Tracks

1) Moving ‘Don’t think it over, it always takes you over’ The Kick Inside’s first track, Moving begins with 20 seconds of whale noises (because why the hell not?), establishing the somewhat meditative atmosphere of the album. I can’t name any other songs that start in this way. (Actually, I can, and I will in a minute.) Anyway, after those 20 seconds, the whale is upstaged by Bush’s famously high songbird-like call. Shockingly, she sings about movement in this song, apparently as a tribute to her mime instructor. It does have a kind of rhythm that makes me want to sway, so I guess she succeeded there. I’m no drummer, but I must say that the soft drumstick tapping and occasional quiet cymbal are pleasantly relaxing. Moving is not my top pick from the album, but I like it more each time I hear it. Ramble Rating: 8/10

2) The Saxophone Song ‘Of all the stars I’ve seen that shine so brightly, / I’ve never known or felt in myself so rightly’ The second song on the album begins with, you guessed it, more whale noises! It always strikes me how young and sprightly Bush’s voice sounds in this song. I can’t believe she was around my age when some of these songs were recorded (and I’m still fresh out of the womb). Honestly, I’m not entirely sure of the song’s meaning (and why should I be? I didn’t write the blinkin’ thing), but it’s the kind of tune that very easily gets stuck in my head. Long story short though, if you like the sounds of whales and saxophones, you’ll probably enjoy this one. Ramble Rating: 8/10

3) Strange Phenomena ‘You pick up a paper. You read a name. / You go out. It turns up again and again.’ Strange Phenomena explores the link between female energy and the universe, and the psychic powers women are said to gain around that time of the month. Previously to hearing this song, I wasn’t aware of this myth, and I’m not sure if I can testify in favour of it because I like to think I’m quite psychic all the time, regardless of the ‘phase of the moon’. Only quite psychic though, not enough to make a living out of it. But yes, as someone who experiences a lot of coincidences *cough* accurate premonitions *cough* in my every day life, the lyrics of this song speak to me. Ramble Rating: 8/10

4) Kite ‘I got no limbs, I’m like a feather on the wind / I’m not sure if I want to be up here at all’ I always assumed this song was simply about escapism but, upon revision, I’ve discovered it’s true that if you assume, you really do make an ‘ass’ out of ‘u’ and ‘me’. With mention of Beelzebub and not knowing ‘how to get down’, I now theorize that Kite may revolve around being coerced to leave your life behind based on someone else’s promises and then regretting it. Or maybe not. I don’t know. Ramble Rating: 7/10

5) The Man with the Child in His Eyes ‘Maybe he doesn’t love me / I just took a trip on my love for him’ This beautiful song is almost a lullaby, rocking our inner children to sleep. Maybe our inner children can learn from our outer elders. Or maybe we can learn from others with inner children. Okay, I’m done. Ramble Rating: 9/10

6) Wuthering Heights ‘Too long I roam in the night / I’m coming back to his side, to put it right’ Wuthering Heights was Kate’s first big hit and is probably her most iconic track. Now, I don’t want to sound dramatic here, but this song changed my life. After rediscovering this video a couple of years ago, I fell in love with three things: Kate Bush, Noel Fielding and Emily Bronte’s novel, Wuthering Heights. I’m not going to bore you with the details, but, long story short, I can see many aspects of my life and creativity which have been influenced in some way by this holy trinity. For that, I am eternally grateful. Oh yes, and at some point, I taught myself the entire dance routine from Bush’s ‘red dress’ Wuthering Heights music video. No regrets. I’m sure it’ll come in handy one day… Ramble Rating: 10/10

7) James and the Cold Gun ‘You’re a coward James / You’re running away from humanity / You’re running out on reality’ I don’t know who James is, but this song is lit. Yep, I really did just say that. I don’t know how else to describe it. You just have to hear it for yourself. I dare you to listen to this song without tapping your foot. Ramble Rating: 9/10

8) Feel It ‘The glorious union, well, it could be love / Or it could be just lust but it will be fun’ Tracks 8, 9 and 10 appear to be a collection of songs about love. Feel It is a rather sensual song, and I’m not sure quite what to say about it. I do really like it though, and it’s certainly another earworm. Ramble Rating: 8/10

9) Oh to Be in Love ‘I could have been anyone / You could have been anyone’s dream’ As a friend of mine once said, Oh to Be in Love is a very theatrical song. I don’t know about you, but it makes me want to parade about doing some kind of improvise musical theatre routine (who am I kidding, that is what I do!). It also makes me want to be in love with someone who isn’t a fictional character portrayed by Colin Firth (or indeed, Colin Firth himself). But I suppose that’s a story for another day. Ramble Rating: 7/10

10) L'Amour Looks Something Like You ‘The thought of you sends me shivery / I’m dressed in lace, sailing down a black reverie’ This is another track which has grown on me over time. It is nice. I like it. Wow, my reviewing skills are second to none right now. (My apologies, it’s gone midnight, but I’m determined to get this post finished today, it’s been far too long in the making.) This song often catches me out because the little twinkle at the very beginning sounds a lot like Wuthering Heights. Ramble Rating: 8/10

11) Them Heavy People ‘I must work on my mind / For now I realize / Everyone of us has a heaven inside’ I think Them Heavy People is all about potential we all hold within us. This is something that I think many people forget, or lack confidence in, as I’ve always believed that half of succeeding at something is believing that you can do it. The song is also a bop. Ramble Rating: 8/10

12) Room for the Life ‘Like it or not, we were built tough / Because we’re woman’ I’m not entirely sure whether this song is a celebration of motherhood or of womanhood in general, but, regardless, it has a lovely, jaunty, reggae-ish beat, and stands out from the rest of the album, sound-wise. I recall a recent episode of BBC’s Pointless where one of the three questions in the final round was to try to guess a song from The Kick Inside that could be pointless (meaning that none of the people in the ‘survey’ had said it), and the lady answering seemed to have merged Room for the Life with Them Heavy People, resulting her answering with ‘Heavy Woman’. Oh how I did chuckle. Besides that, Room for the Life makes me feel that, although I don’t particularly want to have a baby, it’s nice to know that I can. Ramble Rating: 7/10

13) The Kick Inside ‘Your sister I was born. / You must lose me like an arrow, / Shot into the killer storm.’ And last, but certainly not least, we come to the title track, The Kick Inside. The first time I listened to this track, I thought it was all well and good, until I heard ‘Your sister I was born’, and, well, I was rather disturbed and taken aback. I knew there must have been some interesting meaning behind the song’s incestuous tone, so I headed straight to the Kate Bush Encyclopedia, to find that it was inspired by a traditional folk song called Lucy Wan. This is probably the saddest song on the album, as it is essentially a suicide note written by a woman who has become pregnant with her brother’s baby and feels she must kill herself to save his reputation. Ramble Rating: 10/10

And on that light-hearted note, we have reached the end of this journey. Don’t expect my future reviews to be quite this long. It is only because this is one of my favourite albums that I had so much to say about it. Do let me know what you think of The Kick Inside, and please leave any requests for music you would like me to review next. :)

OVERALL RAMBLE RATING FOR ‘THE KICK INSIDE’ ALBUM: 8.2/10

#kate bush #the kick inside #review #music #music review #music blog #wuthering heights

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melasvera · 7 years ago

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Painless. Fearless. Reckless. (Bendy x Reader) Part 2

A/N: Real quick. This is the set up chapter to get you to the studio, so bare with me please. You'll be at the studio next chapter.

Note, Ryan is supposed to be drunk, so I tried to make it seem like his speech is slurred. Devon has... some kind of accent. Devon is based off a friend of mine, and Real Life!Devon speaks like Fiction!Devon. RL!Devon has, like, some odd blend of a southern and Boston accent, I think. I don't think his accent can be classified. But I shouldn't talk. Apparently I have a French/British/Scottish accent, and I was born in Colorado!

Anyways!

Thank you to everyone whose liked and checked out this story!

Enjoy, and remember the story (should) picks up next chapter.

Chapter 1- Dare

It all began with a dare. A stupid dare made by stupid college kids at an equally as stupid party.

And you were just stupid enough to allow Ryan to take it.

You weren't even drunk! Why did you go along with it!?

Well, at least you weren't alone….

It was a Friday night when your roommate, Ryan, dragged you and your other roommate, Devon, to a party at some frat house. Usually you and Devon refused to go to such places, seeing as those type of things just weren't your scene. Plus, on those rare occasions when you did decide to go to out, it was almost a guarantee someone would make a lewd comment about you living with two dudes and they would usually always ask if they could ever join in.

It wasn't even like that! You trusted Ryan and Devon, loved them as brothers, and you knew them since elementary school. You all were just good friends who decided to live together to alleviate the cost of living as true adults.

Better to live together and suffer together then to suffer and struggle alone, was your logic.

And it was working out pretty well. The only downsides were Ryan's drinking and partying, Devon bringing home all types of bugs and plants, and your excessive buying of art supplies. At least Ryan didn't bring his vices home, Devon kept his stuff in his room, and you all made sure you could still help with the bills. Bills none of you truly had to worry about, due to your parents paying them, but still tried to help with nonetheless. None of you were comfortable being moochers.

That brings you to your current situation.

It had been a very stressful couple of weeks full of exams, working, and just general attempts at trying to be real adults. Ryan believed you all needed to relax, and what better why than to go to an end of exam party?

You and Devon just looked at each other, both thinking of several hundred things that would be more relaxing than a party, but in the end you both relented and got ready to go out, to the delight of your shaggy-haired friend.

It took less then ten minutes for you to get ready. You didn't care enough to change out of your outfit that consisted of a t-shirt, jeans, and an old pair of converses. Grabbing your favourite shoulder bag, you collected several items your father gave you the day you left for college; a can of police grade pepper spray, a pocket sized first aid kit, and a portable charger.

Once in you bag you looked around your room, debating if you needed anything else before you went to go wait by the door. Devon took twenty minutes longer than you, and the drive over was filled with idiots on the road, but eventually you and Devon begrudgingly walked behind Ryan into the frat house.

Crappy music was blaring, bodies were swaying, and alcohol was flowing.

Sweet heaven almighty, you could almost taste the hormones in the air.

Your eyes narrowed and you frowned as you briefly debated about going back to the car, not wanting to deal with so many alcohol, and maybe even drug, addled people. But you decided you made it this far, might as well go all the way, what did you have to lose?

Devon immediately hooked his arm around yours as you both dodge around the crowd, Ryan already lost within it (which was amazing because the dude was just over six feet), to find a semi-quiet spot. You both decided on the living room where a game of beer pong was being played. Together you sat by the fireplace, thankful that it wasn't on and that is was clear of both trash and people.

It took around five minutes of watching uncoordinated drunkards trying to toss a ball in a cup before someone offered you a drink and an eye wiggle.

Thankfully they left you alone after your first denial. Either those PSA's lied or you were just lucky, but you never were pressured into drinking or doing drugs. The only thing people tried to push you for was sex, and you weren't afraid to give those types of people you're two cents.

Devon sighed heavily, as the intoxicated man finally left you alone, pulled out a rubber band bound packet of note-cards from his hoodie jacket and handed you to them.

You huffed out a small laugh at what you guessed was vocabulary for one of his classes. Understanding what he wanted, and not wanting to drink and mingle, you began quizzing your friend. This gained you both some odd looks, but no one did anything about it. It was actually rather peaceful, once you got used to ignoring the noise.

It was after someone belly flopped on the beer pong table, over an hour later, breaking it that the people around you began a game of truth or dare. You thought it was all rather juvenile of them, but then again you didn't make a habit of going to parties, so maybe this was a normal frat party activity.

You and Devon both tried your best not to sneer in disgust at some of the dares, not wanting to catch the eye of a short tempered drunk looking for a fight. But, honestly, some of those dares were just….. did they seriously have no shame? There was a fine line between bravery and stupidity, and you should know seeing as you frequently flirted with that line. Besides, you were certain some of the things they were doing was illegal in several states.

The two of you continued to ignore the idiotic people close to you, hoping that no one would include you in someone's dare, when you heard Ryan's name being called. Devon and yourself looked over to see what your taller friend was doing.

A girl you didn't know was giggling and hanging off Ryan's arm, who didn't look as drunk as usually did this far into a party (aka he wasn't passed out, stumbling, or slurring words), and was loudly daring him.

"R~y~a~n!" The way she attempted to make her shitty, sing-song voice sound sexy made you shiver unpleasantly, "I-I dare you *giggles* I dare you t'go to….to Drew Studios. An' ya godda stream it too." The girl giggled, as if she said the most amusing thing in the entire world.

Ryan grinned, a look of pure determination taking over his face as the people around him agreed with the dare, egging him to take it.

Devon paled, you sighed heavily in resignation.

You knew that look. There was no way either you or Devon were ever going to deter him, but you didn't trust his drunk ass alone.

Devon quickly jumped to his feet, a worried look plastered on his face, and three shaky fingers in the air, "We volunteer as tribute!"

Apparently Devon didn't either.

You sighed again and stood, slipping the flashcards into Devon's back pocket. Guess you were going to try and keep your mildly drunk friend from dying in an abandoned studio in the middle of the woods.

Eh. You've done harder things before.

'Besides,' you thought as you eyed the young alcoholics in the making, 'this could work out for you.'

Without pause you stepped up onto the litter ridden couch and hollered to get everyone's attention. "HEY!"

Remarkably you got their attention and no one threw anything at you.

"If Ryan's going to do this dare," the idiots cheered and jostled each other with their back slapping, "we're going to need somethings so we don't get caught, and, or, so we don't die. And no one wants to be blamed for either of those, right?"

The people were either really drunk or really stupid to believe anything you said. Or both.

You were inclined to believe that it was probably both. Which was a good thing, seeing as they were more inclined to do as you said.

Then again, most people knew who your parents were, so maybe that motivated them?

"First, off, we need backpacks or bags, then we need gloves, at least fifty dollars, maybe some masks, some food, water bottles, flashlights, and that man's pocket knife!" You counted off each item with a raised finger then pointed with your sixth finger to a young man with an obvious lump in his pocket.

The young man blinked slowly and hesitantly pointed to himself, "Me?"

You nodded, still pointing. "Yes. You all want Ryan to get into Drew Studios, right? A knife will make it easier." Not really. You just wanted his knife. You've never seen the building outside of pictures your art teacher showed the class, but you were sure that there was someway to get inside without having to pick a lock.

Nobody moved. You raised an eyebrow and crossed your arms. "Well, you want a show or not? Get going!"

You stepped off the couch as the part of the crowd that wanted to see something illegal happen scrambled to gather the things you said you required, while the rest of them either tried to convince Pocket Knife Guy to hand over the knife or watched the chaos.

It was the girl who was hanging off Ryan who eventually persuaded the guy to give you the knife.

What she did to do that left you in awe and mild discomfort. That girl was either really drunk or really confident in herself, kind of inspiring, in a way.

Fiddling and got acquainted with your newly acquired weapon, which turned out to be a red Swiss Army knife with a yellow dog on it (fucking score! ), you waited next to your friends. Devon, in all of his four foot ten glory, was berating and trying to get Ryan to back out of the dare.

"Come on man! It'll be fun! Where's your sense of adventure! Think of the views dude . "

It wasn't working out so well.

Devon's eye twitched as he gave his deadpan answer, "Left 'em back home with Teresa."

"Your pet spider doesn't count, Short-stack."

"Think of the jail time."

"We have a kick-ass lawyer on our side if we get caught, we'll be fine."

The shorter one of your friends groaned and turned towards you, "[Name]! [Name], do somethin', talk 'im outta this craziness!"

Your shrugged as gently dragged your index finger down the largest blade of knife, unable to feel it kissing your skin, "Nah."

Devon sputtered, you grinned.

"N-nah, ya say? Fuckin' nah? The dude gonna get 'imself caught or somethin' an' all ya can say is 'nah'?" His incredulous tone of voice made your lips twitch in amusement.

Ryan laughed and slapped Devon's back, "Two 'gainst one, we win!"

Devon ignored him and looked at you in disbelief, waiting for your answer.

You snapped the knife back into it's home and clenched your fist around the four inch handle. With a smile you looked at your worried friend with a small reassuring smile, "We volunteered as tribute."

"B-but, [Name]!" Devon whines as he floundered to try to think of something that would make you convince Ryan to back out.

"B'sides," your shrug, placing the knife into your bag, "can't make Drunk Ryan do anything he doesn't want to," here said drunk young man began nodding in agreement, "might as well tag along and make sure the drunken dumb-ass doesn't do anything to illegal or off himself in some stupid way."

Ryan kept nodding for a few more seconds before what you said hit is alcohol soaked mind, "Wha- Hey!"

Devon snorted, a smile fighting its way onto his still worried face.

"And you can go home, or stay in the car or something if you really don't want to go. I'm can handle him, we won't make you."

Devon laughed hysterically, and sarcastically, at that.

"Yeah, no," he finally said with a look of pure incredibility, "leave my drunk friend with zero inhibition with the friend who woulda know what danger was if it punched her in the kisser, I'mma not livin' with that kind'a guilt, m'kay?"

Ryan swung an arm around the both of you, pulling you two into a three way hug, "Great! Now I need help coming up with a YouTube name."

It was official then. The three of you were going to break into an abandoned animation studio from the twenties and live-stream the proof to a YouTube channel that Ryan made as you and Devon argued. All for a dare.

It was decided, with no real input from you or Devon, that the channel's name would be DrewStudiosLive.

…...

Drunk Ryan wasn't a very imaginative Ryan.

Throughout your conversation, and about fifteen minutes after, all the items you requested had be collected, plus some.

Apparently the host of the party were very generous when intoxicated.

The items were all in a pile before you, consisting of an ugly neon green drawstring bag, an old soccer duffel bag, six mismatched winter gloves in varies colours and sizes, a butt load of washcloths, some bandannas, some left over, half full, bags of chips, water bottles, a pack of canned beers, and a plastic baggie with cash (fucking yes, they did it!). In lieu of a flashlight someone was smart enough, or drunk enough, to throw in a tub of glow sticks. On top of all that some smart-ass donated a small first aid and condoms with a note that said, 'have fu die :P' on it.

Your rolled your eyes at the last item and threw the condoms up into the air so they fell into the crowd. You heard a few cheers at that.

Turning back to the small pile you happily divided you're haul between the duffel, drawstring, and your own shoulder bag. You palmed the first aid kit, wondering if you should be the one to carry it, before placing it in the duffel and with the beers. Meanwhile, Ryan wrote the name of the new YouTube channel down so that people knew where to tune in, and Devon left to get the car ready, bemoaning his fate the entire time.

You and Ryan left the house with people cheering you on, wishing you luck, and throwing more glow sticks in the air, like people used to throw rice at weddings.

The laughter bubbling in your chest couldn't be stopped, even once your were in the car and on your way to the studio. You just couldn't believe that you got a houseful of your drunken peers to give you stuff all because you said you'd need it to complete some stupid dare. You continued to chuckled to yourself as you counted the money they collected. Maybe you should go out to parties with Ryan more often, who knows what you could convince people to give you if you said it was for their entertainment.

"Sooooo….." Devon drawled, not taking his eyes off the road, "what do we need fifty dollars for? It's not that far, so it's not for gas."

Snickering you answered, "We don't need it." You waved the bag of money around, "This is merely….. a…... donation. A wish for good luck."

Quite, then Devon snorted and briefly looked in the rear view mirror at you. "You just wanted their money, didn'tcha?"

You nodded once with a giant smile on your face, "I just wanted their money. And the knife. Got me a pretty sweet knife. I think it has, like, ten functions, at least." You looked back down at the money, the smile growing into a smirk, "They did good. Got more than fifty here. After this is over with we're eating out someplace that's not Jack in the Box."

This time it was Ryan who spoke, who had been silent until now because he found the beer in the duffel. "'ow much yo-you got there?" He ended with a burp, which he blew into the driver's face. Devon wrinkled his nose but otherwise didn't react.

Humming happily, and placing the cash into your bag, "Almost eighty. And stop it, save those for later!"

Groaning in disappointment, Ryan tilted his head back to chug the rest of his drink before crushing the can and tossing it on the floor.

"Ei-eighty bucks?" Devon threw his head back and cackled at that, then continued to grumble about how maybe the night wasn't so bad after all.

A/N: Make sure you tell me what you think, what I should improve on and what not.

Thanks again!

Part 1

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a-rat-and-a-blob · 7 years ago

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Drabble Arch End: The Sewer King’s Carol - Snowdown Day

The Sewer King’s Carol Drabbles Arch: link

Previous Drabble (The Last Ghost): link

The bell rings, echoing in my hollow ears. I close my eyes bracing for impact, but I felt none. I didn't feel my face slamming into water nor my fragile bones shattering from the rocks underneath. I didn't even hear a single splash of water. Just the bell ringing. I jolt up, haunted by the bell and see that I was laying at the gates of the commercia where I left off. All of the stores are still closed and the flamboyant decorations of plant life, poros, and ribbons are all there. It's all the same as before I embarked on the spirit's judgment, except all of the soot that surrounded the area's gone. The clock in front of me rang proudly with its arms pointing at 7 and 0. "They woke me up.." I cackle. "Hehe.. They woke me up.. The spirits! They give me a chance!!" I begin to dance, to skip, to sing to the world that I escaped death. Thankfully no one was there when I shouted to the world of my joy as my torture is finally over, but I don't think it would be empty for long.

I blend in with my shadows and walk to the sewers, the comfort of my old home. The fresh humidity! The beautiful stench! I thought I never see those again.. Oh how I missed the rust of my pipes and the rushing of the toxins. I run and skip as I mutter to myself what to do on this glorious day. On this gloriously stupid day! "ZAC!" I call out, but he wasn't there. When I see the large pipe that acted as the entrance to my lair, I saw the beige tarp that once divided us. I take the tarp with my clawed hands and drag it down from its tape, ripping parts of it to shreds and see the empty lair as it always been. The green lantern in the middle with 2 sides of the room. One side was a complete mess with equipment, glass, bones, and various human knickknacks while the other's empty. Nothing but a pile of trash bags that once acted as a bed. There was once posters and various zaunite blueprints around here, but none are present now. "I'm back in the present.." I mumble. I place the crossbow down on the desk over at my side of the room. I feel my hands shake as I let go of the handle as it yearns for me to keep it on my back forever and always. I look at the roaches and bugs at the cracks of the walls.

"You!" I command to them. "Watch the lair for me, and alert me if anyone comes near it, and tell the others!" The bugs quickly skittered on their way with the orders of their king. I sigh. "If Twitch were to do this, he has to do it right." I leave the room with my weapon inside.

I slowly climb up the manhole to the abandoned neighborhood with its fragile houses still standing and withering away. I press a sigh in relief as their numbers are much more than that of the future. I run quietly to his abandoned home, making sure I wouldn't be seen. I walk through the abandoned living room and the decayed wallpaper and see the same faint light coming from the basement as did last night. I walk down, ensuring that my footsteps wouldn't make the wooden steps croak under pressure. As I go step by step, I see the faint light with the blob leaning to the wall, sleeping. He curls up on the floor, open to any attack, but I never brought a weapon. I simply reveal myself as he begins to breath in the rancid stench of his old home. His eyes open and he tried to sit straight as he backs away from me.

"Twitch.. What do you want?" he asks me. "I'm not coming with you, buddy. I'm not staying in your sewers.."

"I.. I know.." I mumble. "I.. was just here to ask on how your human delivery thing was going along.."

"You.. you know about that?"

"Yeah... Where you bring small weird weapons to the young ones?"

"They're.. they're not weapons Twitch."

"Well, what are they? They look like weapons to me.."

"Well.. they're supposed to be gifts, y'know? Toys. Things that those kids play with and smile. Heh. I don't think you would understand."

"Hmph. You're right about that. I could never understand why anyone would like stupid surface dwellers being happy. Did you see any of those smiles you talked about?"

ZAC turns away from me. "I don't think I'm gonna see a smile that Snowdown day.. Or at least, from those I gave toys to." He begins to hold the bullet that pierced his body and begins playing with it in his hands. I watch pitifully as he did so, keeping my distance.

"Those that shoot you, they're idiots. They don't know anything." He kept twirling the bullet around his fingers. I begin to think. Suddenly, I got an idea and grab his arms. "Goopy One! You have to come with me! This is som-"

"Hey!" ZAC shouts as he jerks his arm away from my grip, throwing me towards him. I'm quickly yanked out of ZAC's goop and held up in the air. "I already told you I'm not coming with you. I'm just.. I'm just sick and tired of you! Now stop begging me to come back!"

"I.. I do know that!" I shout angrily. "I'm not stupid! I just want to show you something. Show you.. a gift! Yes.. yes.. A gift! You surface dwellers gives gifts to each other on this stupid holiday, right? And you can't deny a grand gift from the sewer king!"

ZAC quickly raises an eyebrow. "Uh... yeah?" he answers suspiciously. I see his curiosity peaking. "What.. what gift do you have in mind?"

We slowly trudge through as the rat drags my hand through the zaunite soot on the ground. I begin to look at the wretched rat as to what he was about to show me. Whatever it is, it isn't gonna change my mind. I hated living in the sewers. I hated living with a psychopathic murderer. I hated seeing people die where I could've saved them. I hated being forced into captivity. I wasn't his slave.. His tool. I wasn't anyone's weapon. I just need to improve, but I'm not gonna improve with him around.

I look to the sky and saw what he's bringing me to. It's the lone sump house on the outskirts of the sector, standing lone and tall with no one around. I instinctively clutch my chest in response to its image. "Twitch.. Please.." I growl. I knew this was some stupid excuse to show the evils of the surface again. "I don't want to be here. If you're saying people are dumb, I'm not listening."

"It's not!" he shouts.

"Then why are we hear, Twitch!? Why are we here?" I huff. "This is dangerous Twitch.. Even for you! You don't want to be found don't you?"

"No! No.. You must listen! This is a gift from me.. You have to listen to Twitch, Zac.."

I pause for a bit. "ZAC?" I ask. "Heh. That's the first time I heard my name from you of all people."

Twitch glances at me. "Yeah.. Zac... I think it's better than Goopy One.. I like it. Has a nice ring to it. Hehe. Maybe I should start using it more." He begins to look at the floor now. "Look, I'm sorry for everything, Zac. I'm sorry for killing and putting you in bottles. I just.. I just didn't want to lose my best subject and my only friend." Twitch shows an empty hand. "I know I screwed up and I know you're more than a slave or all of my roaches combined, but if you won't forgive me, would you at least take my tribute?"

I look at Twitch carefully. What.. what happened to him? I look at his clawed hand before taking it. "Well, this better be worth my time pal. I trust you this once, but if anything goes wrong. It's gonna get messy for you.."

"I swear it won't! Now come!" Twitch cackles as he takes my hand and continues to drag me further and further until finally we touch the house's walls. Behind them I hear muttering and talking. I could imagine them calling the police or warning everyone about the big bad green monster that's present in the sector. I begin to have my doubts. He never really answered my question, but he still beckoned me to the windows. "Come.. Come!" he shouts, blending in with his surroundings. "I think you'll like this.."

"Twitch.. I already know what I've done. I already have the bullet; is this really necessar-"

"AH! Hahah! You got me!" the voices shout inside.

"Huh?" I ask as I walk to the window. Inside, I see the dad hiding behind the couch as his son points the gun at him. The 2 smile as they play their game of fighting. It wasn't until the son was creeping up to him that he made his attack, carrying the boy up to his shoulders. "Now I got ya!" he shouts as the boy laughs, squirming around while the mother cooks a Snowdown dinner whose stench rises to Piltover from its sole pipe.

"I.. I thought they all hated me. I thought they would be scared."

"Hmph! They should be.. but humans are stupid, Zac. I think you should know that, and this holiday is the stupidest one of them all," He sits in the snow and continues to watch the play-fighting between the two. "But.. their stupidity is charming in a way don't you think?"

"Yeah.. It always makes me happy to see them laugh and smile. It's like I'm in it! Heh. It's weird how people can be so happy when they have nothing."

"Yeah.." He continues to watch the kid play with the gun until they were called for a grand Snowdown breakfast. He begins to chuckle. "Hehe.. to think this comes from a harmless metal gun. I bet every family you brought a harmless weapon to is like this." He turns to me and presents me with a small book. One of his stories. "Here.." he says to me. "Take it. Something to remember me by on your travels. I just hope we meet again. You were always awful as a subject honestly, despite what I say. I hope you would be great as a hero to these worthless humans. It's the one where I had us slay the dragons that wanted to destroy the kingdom."

"Is it when you shot it in the eye while.."

"You pinned it down! Yes! Hehe! Hah! And we feasted on its remains the entire night!

"And I ate so much that I became giant? The size of a skyscraper?"

"YES! Hahah! I'm surprised you know it so well.." Twitch pauses. "Well.. I guess I better get going. You should see the faces when they see the gift! That must be good for you! I'll just be in my lair if you need me.."

"Wait!" I call out. "I.. I.. I don't want to JUST watch people being happy. I just like imagine that I'm in there.. I want to be a part of it." I look at him and it was now my turn to present my present. I lend out my hand. "Do you want to be a part of it too?"

He looks at my hand and smiles. "With my favorite subject, of course I do.." I place him on my shoulders as we march back to the sewers together, celebrating Snowdown together.

#ic #ZAC #Twitch #1976 words #Drabble Arch #Drabble Arch End #Drabble Arch: The Sewer King's Carol #This came out early! YAY!#Hopefully you love it #I think this is the best drabble arch I've done so far #Sorry this wasn't on chrristmas day

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theproofinthisong · 5 years ago

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WALLS REVIEW

i’m back for my review of walls!!

kill my mind: the perfect opening for the album & to announce the new era. i remember listening to it for the first time and my jaw dropping because i didn’t expect that sound & at the same time, it made total sense. it’s not my favorite genre personally but this track is so audacious and amazing. it’s probably the one that is the most different from louis’ previous sounds (in the band or solo stuff) and he’s giving us LIFE with the pop punk bop we always dreamed of. his voice is unique in every song but it especially stands out in this one, particularly at the beginning of the track. it’s such a fierce catchy and energetic track, you want to scream it at the top of your lungs. this is the type of song that makes the crowd lose its shit live. can’t wait to see it. the gimmicks in this one (the aaaah aaah part and the kill my kill my at the end mostly) are so clever, you hear them one time and boom, they can’t leave your mind, it’s witchcraft. i love the contrast between the very high and very low notes, they’re just perfection. AND THE BELTING!!! it’s hot. the earlier pop inspirations are pretty much there and it’s such a wonderful tribute. no wonder why louis loves this track so much. it’s gold and very very bold.

don’t let it break your heart: see, the first time i listened to the new tracks (at ccme), i was instantly captivated by defenceless & habit. dliby was not a favorite instantly. but it became one. i don’t know why THE FUCK i didn’t pick as a favorite right on the spot. because it is a godsent. like hell!!! the nostalgia!! the raw emotion!! the hope it’s giving you!! the goosebumps!! and OH MY GOD louis’ voice in his...one of his best vocals. like period. it’s so soft and so strong at the same time. it’s so full of feelings, like the vulnerability!! the song speaks to me so much. AND OH MY GOD THE ALBUM VERSION!!! the single one was already extraordinary but the album arrangment makes it even more perfect and delicate!!! the writing in this one makes me cry, it’s so to the point and honest, like you can feel his heart beating in it. it’s the kind of music you carry with you. i know decades from now, it will remind me of my youth and the happy times i had back then. god i’m already sobbing.

two of us: honestly, there are no words for this one. it’s above everything. it’s without a doubt louis’ most personal and gutwrenching track. it’s not the one i listen to the most because it’s painful and so real. you can feel every crack, every hurdle, every tear, every ounce of desperation, every bit of newfound hope. i have a personal connection to this one because i experienced what louis is talking about. i lost my dad when i was 16, a little younger than louis. and oh my god the words he uses to talk about it and his grief is what i felt and still feel. those songs where EVERY WORD could be applied to you and your situation almost never happen. it’s a miracle. so yeah, it hurts to listen to it. but it also makes me really happy. i feel understood, i feel a kinship to him. and while i have no doubt everyone can relate to this song and have it resonating with them, losing a parent is a very specific kind of grief. and i never saw someone describing it so well in a song. his voice is so angelic in this. it’s so controlled but at the same time it’s on the verge of collapsing everytime and never does. god. if i had to pick a song to have as a tattoo, i will pick this one for sure. what a masterpiece.

we made it: BLOODY WE MADE IT. one of the most IN YOUR FACE larry songs out of walls (even if they all are) and i’m dying. it’s easily in my top 3 of louis’ songs performed live. THE POWER. THE CERTAINTY OF IT ALL. like his voice is so assured in this while still being able to be vulnerable and fragile. HOW?? HOW CAN YOU DO IT?? it’s one of the sappiest love songs i’ve ever heard but those are my weakness and fave. what a beautiful declaration. the lyrics are...well i still can’t believe they’re real. he deadass told us everything about his relationship with harry and how they were able to overcome all the obstacles thrown in their faces. in terms of melody, it’s a 10000000/10. you can’t help but sing it with him. it’s wonderfully produced, like the best kind of pop. it has a bit of those oasis vibes (walls and dlibyh also have them) which i’m a HUGE fan of. it’s such an effective single, like i can’t even count the times i listened to it. fucking treasure.

too young: another case of a song i adored the minute i listened to it, but it wasn’t as intense as with others. now it’s truly one of my most cherished tracks out of the album. the opening lines simply kill you, it’s whispered, it’s tender, it’s!!!! too much for my heart!! i’m swooning. i love that he doesn’t push his voice there, it stays at a low level and it makes it even more louder, in a way?? you feel like he’s speaking to only one person (who?? i wonder...), it’s so intimate i almost feel like intruding?? it’s a fucking gift. in terms of writing, it’s also one of my favorite because there are no filters. it tells the story without fear. louis just spilled his whole heart out in his track and that’s so fucking admirable. a jewel we need to protect.

walls: FIRST THE FUCKING INSTRUMENTAL. it fucking ruined me. someone said this song was like a late night conversation and it’s true. walls is probably the song that shows his personal growth the most, like louis couldn’t have written this song five years ago. it’s so grown. it’s so wise. so full of life and conclusions you made. it’s peaceful. it’s reassuring. i don’t know how a song can make you feel all of that but it does. and the lyrics are one of his best. it’s so significative at times (the goodbyes line for example), but metaphorical also (the cardboard full of clothes lines IS GENIUS and the walls one...obviously the best) and opening the song with a sentence and ending it with it is...pure magic. it’s clever but not only. it shows how much he went through and how he’s healing from it and how it helped him, in a way. and the voice. liquid honey. bye.

habit: legend snapped when he included the princess park line. what a chaotic larrie. i expected nothing less from him. i love the melody, it’s so catchy and happy!! it’s kind of a break after the rollercoaster you just went through. very needed. i’m still having a breakdown over it though. it’s such a cute ballad and beautiful love song. you just wanna move your head to it, it makes you truly happy. sunshine in a song form. like i’m smiling rn. and you can hear louis smiling while singing it too!!! it’s...wow. he’s able to communicate his feelings in a manner no other artist can. i will never get tired of it.

always you: we did our waiting. we were fucking starved. now we’re being fed babes!! miss always you is so iconic. the melody is ingrained in my brain after hundred times of listening to that damn snippet. the things i would do for louis. i love what he does with his voice in this, like he’s changing tones and going from one note to another like a champ. this song is so fucking hard to sing and louis is the ONLY one who can master it. shows how unique his voice is. i’m in love with the high parts and the chorus. dang. that’s a song. tell me that this song isn’t THE SHIT. it’s iconic as fuck. and it’s so lovely. still haven’t recovered from all the baby and home mentions. ALSO the legs wrapped around me line??? kill me please!!! i do not thank you.

fearless: now that’s an adjective that comes to mind while talking about louis. the verses aren’t my favorite melody wise but omg the bridge and the chorus!! he did that!!! it’s also the song where he’s singing the lowest (that head voice bitch) and omg. for now it isn’t in my top but i know it will grow on me and i can’t wait. the lyrics are amazing nonetheless.

perfect now: we know it’s louis’ least favorite track and it’s mine too. it’s still louis though so still amazing. just like fearless, the verses aren’t my favorite part but same, the bridge and the chorus are wonderful. it’s pretty soft. also this is a song about harry (you steal the scene and it’s unrehearsed??) but some sentences can be applied to family and it’s such a nice & encouraging track to listen to when you think about the people you love. it’s very happy. makes you feel loved and exactly where you should be. and as always, his voice is to die for in it.

defenceless: to the surprise of exactly nobody, it’s my favorite song out of walls. it was love at first sight. you cannot explain it. it just is. in terms of writing, it’s my personal favorite (especially “sleeping on our problems and we’ll solve them in our dreams” which is pure poetry...the talent, the impact...i’m dying. also i put this quote everywhere i could, i’m OBSESSED with it). it tucks at your heartstrings, like it’s a very hopeful song but at the same time it’s full of memory of heartbreaks. i could bawl talking about it. harry and louis’ situation is impossible to describe and to comprehend. the things and contradictory feelings they had to face..i can’t even imagine. but he gives us a full glimpse of it in this song. and it’s so fucking brave to be this honest. it takes so much courage and trust. and i’m just in awe. artistically speaking, it’s a fucking tour de force. but like personally, what it means to louis...oh god. i’m dead. and THE MOTHERFUCKING FALSETTO. louis almost never uses it and oh my god. it’s breathtaking. it’s what you hear when you enter heaven. no one, fucking no one, has this kind of falsetto. it’s so special. it makes me wanna die. it’s too much for my heart. my god.

only the brave: it would have been ALSO my favorite song out of walls it it was longer. because it’s...i’m speechless. also very oasis but very louis. and sorry, but it’s better than oasis will ever be. there i said it. the lyrics are objectively the best out of the album, like i’m a slut for metaphors and they’re everywhere in here. i don’t know how to qualify it really but it has this anthem like quality? i can see the arena and thousands of people singing it back to louis. it reminds me of home in the sense that it’s subtle but very blatant at the same time. like he wrote this for us gay people. that ache is there. the pain. the underlying anger. but the optimism. knowing the hurt but never wishing to go back. the vocal control is incredible in this, i’ll say it again, but the ability to switch to chest voice to head voice back to back...he’s one in a billion. there is an intention behind every line and you can feel it piercing your soul. gimme rest.

4 years in the making. i’m so glad i waited and was besides Louis through it all. i’m so fucking proud i could cry. it’s a masterpiece of an album. it has everything. simply everything. i couldn’t have dreamed something better. the voice, the melodies, the lyrics, the emotion, the confidence, the range, the diversity of sounds, the different influences and the way he’s able to bring the best out of them and make them this, the old pop vibe of it while remaining extra modern..it’s pure art. it’s what art should be. making you feel every emotion the artist wanted you to. no one does it better than louis. god. thank you.

#walls #my posts

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rhiminee · 7 years ago

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BIG OL’ LEO EP FEELINGS POST!

So. If you follow me on tumblr then you obviously know that David Archuleta released a new EP on Friday. I meant to make a post over the weekend but real life happens so here I am with all my feelings on Monday night! Honestly maybe it’s a good thing though because I’ve been listening to this EP so much the past 4 days and I honestly love it even more now. Like. How is that possible. Anywayyyyyyy let’s get to the good stuff! I’m including YT links below each song for ease of accessibility and ease of falling completely in love!

1. Other Things in Sight

Oh lo. This song. I never thought David would write a kiss off song but that’s totally what this is. He’s so calm about completely ripping someone. HA. I am crying with joy inside at how much I love love love this song and this side of David coming out in his writing. What’s so amazing is he’s totally telling off people who try to control him but he’s also got this jam that’s so freaking funky and singing like melted butter I don’t even understand. He’s so smooth in this that I didn’t even realize how much he was slaying until I wrote out the lyrics. Like. Boy you are the kindest sweetest savage I’ve ever seen in my life and I am full of admiration at your skills. Also the beat on this song is insane and delicious. all you seem to say is get serious got me curious who it is that you think you’re talking to think you’ve got control like a hypnotist that’s ridiculous you gotta let go cuz this is not your life it’s not your call to make this time 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 i just wanna little more breeze a little more ease a little less people i can’t please got other things in sight in mind give me a little more faith little more space little more room for my mistakes i’ve got other thing in sight, other things in sight in mind

I had to stop myself because honestly I’d just like to lyric quote the entire song lmao. I think this might be my favorite song on the EP. It’s so hard through because there’s not a single weak song in the bunch. This one is definitely my jam though. I cannot willnot ever get over the vibe. Amazing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIVfof_CRC0

2. Someone To Love

The first time I heard this song and he went into the oooooooooo section (you’ll know once you listen lol) I was like....what. It took me so off guard. I was off balance and I didn’t know what to think but the second time I listened I was ooo-oooing along and much to my surprise this is the song I’ve found myself singing unconsciously when I’m just living life. I think that lady in the produce section especially appreciated it on Saturday night.

feels like a deep breath feels like a good rest when you come to find it’s not all about you i needed a jump start hooked up to this heart i needed to wake up and break out from this old point of view

LOVE. Why does David write the lyrics to my heart. Also the acoustic version of this song is straight fire. It made me fall in love with it even more.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eY1YUFLG7ow

3. I’m Ready

Put on a pair of headphones and fall into this one. David has been performing this in concert since last year so before the EP came out I was like yeah we’ve heard it before, what are the other 3 songs. But then. Then. I heard this studio version of I’m Ready and it’s so transcendent. I can’t even explain, you just need to listen with your ears and heart open. That final bridge where he’s singing way highhhhhh up to the heavens omg the first time I heard that I got tears in my eyes. And then when Annie came on at the very end I had tears on my face. Before this was released I had no idea that she was such a huge part of this song and it gives me so many feelings to hear her there. When she sings stay next to me and I know what happened to her I’m just...man. It’s just very powerful. And a beautiful tribute to her. This one is 100% love.

i’m ready for change i’m not afraid to lose and leave it all behind and i know that i can’t see around the bend but if i let you in i know i’ll be alright

cuz when i get there who knows how it’ll end but i know i’ll get there

If you don’t know the story, condensed version: Annie is a good friend of David’s who felt strongly that he should not give up on I’m Ready. He was stalled on it and had it on the back burner for years. Annie gave him ideas and encouragement and worked with him on it and he finished it. Annie never got to hear the final product though because she fell and was killed while hiking in Oregon last year. She was alone and it took weeks of searching before she was found. David spoke with her family and asked if they were ok with him adding some vocals Annie had recorded while helping him work on the song. That’s what you hear at the end. That, and the sound of my tears falling.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZYsXo_gHmw

4. Spotlight Down

This is the most David song ever made. He’s so honest and forthright in singing his truth here. It’s like a song version of his journey from age 16 to 26. It makes me so happy that he had the courage to take his life back to where he could live it as David. I don’t know if that even makes sense but yeah.

i was running hard and fast on someone else’s highway but that can’t last i was counting the days to singing solo songs that know my heart this is where i start i can’t live a life on display watching every move that i make this world’s not a stage it’s been remade scenes were moving too fast waiting for the curtains to crash i’m standing now spotlight down.

This guy. He sings his soul, his vulnerabilities, his realities. I admire that courage so much. At times you hear a little shakiness in his voice and you can tell he feels everything when he sings it but then you also hear his strength and it’s one of the most pure beautiful things in this world.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoKEUGrZjKs

Whew. You guys. This whole EP is amazing. If you haven’t listened yet, I can’t encourage you enough to check it out. It’s David’s heart and soul in musical form. Please support his amazing talent. Here’s the places you can get his music:

Buy Leo: iTunes Amazon Stream Leo: Spotify Apple Music

finis.

#david archuleta #leo #leo ep #new music #archie music tho #music that sings in heart language #i keep going and going #even if they all stop i keep going #True Feelings #we do not deserve him #hold me just a minute can you hold me just a minute now

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hypestcypress-blog · 7 years ago

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Why I Cried When I heard B Flat Add 9 Over D

Because it is the first chord in Purple Rain, and it was the last song of the night, and I was at a Prince tribute show, and the band had already come back after an encore, and that song was the last question mark in the air, and I should say symbol formerly-known-as-question-mark, and Purple Rain was the obvious closer.

Because being the obvious closer didn’t make it any less cheesy, and it wasn’t any less beautiful, and it’s what he would have wanted, and the band had repeated that Prince loved us all night, and I finally felt it, and I hadn’t felt loved all month.

Because that night in the Sydney Opera House, Prince’s sister and his old band mates were on a world tour, and they were going around the world, and they were doing their best to recreate someone we all shared, and Prince had died two years ago.

Because that chord isn’t really in other songs that I can think of, and it hangs in the air, and it sets the tone for the coming song, and it felt like the whole concert hall breathed in, and later I struggle to make it sound right on the guitar, and the real version sounds so dazed, and I’ve been feeling so emotionally drained, and there is refuge in connecting your problems to others, and the chord is resigned, and you can only hold in your tears so long.

Because there is a quote from Beloved, and it is “anything coming back to life hurts,” and it felt like that which I cherished was dying, and Prince was already gone, and all I had was an idea of what he was like, and all I had was revival, and remembering is reliving, and it hurts that it is gone, and to die is to never come back.

Because that song is a blanket I wrapped around you in my memory.

Because my mom gave me an edible, and I haven’t been able to sleep all month.

Because you wait and wait to hear something, and when that song came on I knew it was the last song, and I knew I had caused you sorrow, and pain, and I wouldn’t see you laugh anymore, and the thought of that broke my heart, and the tears felt like a sheet of rain, and it was like a cloud burst behind my eyes, and it had been brewing all day.

Because honestly the band wasn’t that good, and they were good musicians, and they were friends of Prince’s, and family, and still Prince shined through all of them, and the depth of that song reached out, and it touched me, and I knew that I wouldn’t make it long without crying, and none of these people can dance or sing or play guitar like he could.

Because it felt like nothing was harder than telling honey that times were changing, and seeing them hurt, and being the one hurting them, and not knowing how to stop hurting them without hurting yourself, and what hurts so bad is that the past is gone, and that the option to revive it is fading, and also that Prince is still dead.

Because there is a line in Purple Rain, and someone in the band sang it, and I could hear it before it happened, and that line is maybe the most passionate or tortured line in the song, and each syllable punches me in the stomach, and the whole second verse builds to it, and you believe it when you hear it, and “it’s such a shame our friendship had to end.”

Because sometimes it feels like that which means most is leaving, and it’s like a ship drifting to sea, and you pushed it away, and then you grab at it, and it slips through your fingers, and you can’t grasp it anymore, and if you try then you will fall in, and from underwater you will see the dock where it was once harbored, and you will feel your chest tighten, and you will struggle for a deep breath, and instead, your lungs will fill with purple rain, and you drown.

Because it was a rain that is not thunderstorm dramatic, and it is not hail, and it is not thick mist, and it is not any other type of rain than rain that sits in the air, and it just floats down from heaven, and you feel Prince’s presence in the moment he created for you, and you forget the band, and you close your eyes, and the tears keep coming, and the song is ending, and you feel the rain, and you feel your moms rubbing your back, and you feel so tired, and you feel so sad, and you feel yourself losing her.

#poetry #prince #purple rain #music #poem #sappy

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avaycarter · 7 years ago

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Did you watch @kencen #KCHonors? Congrats to the honorees: @GloriaEstefan ‏@LionelRichie ‏@llcoolj @CarmenDances @GloriaEstefan @TheNormanLear

THIS IS NOT SPONSORED/COMPENSATED!

I hope the holidays have been treating you well and that you were surrounded by good food, good friends and family and that very same spirit of good will carries you all into a prosperity filled New Year! I want the best for you all butterflies.

I have been wanting to get to back to Ascending Butterfly's early roots - you know that blissful year we spent together in 2008 that was PR free/Brand Free and Sponsored Post free.

I need a bit more of that in my life to fuel my writing. But when I stare at my computer and those calendar pop ups, sticky notes and notifications remind me just how many sponsored posts (those do keep the lights on), event recaps and overdue Social Media Consulting Deadlines are looming, I put my Op Ed Drafts away and plug away at what I am "supposed" to be doing and "supposed" to be writing about.

But last night I checked out the Kennedy Center Honors on CBS and it filled me with all kinds of feels, and I actually let myself watch it in its entirety without my phone or laptop and really take it in. Again I stress this is NOT a sponsored post, this is just me staying woke. It really was an amazing show to watch and it made history in so many different ways.

After the show I got on Twitter and read what people were posting about the show by following the hashtag, and this was the first tweet I saw:

This was one of the top tweets on the trending hashtag for the show and I pressed on the article and read it through, re-tweeted it and then went back to Twitter to read more tweets on the hashtag. There were some in support of this Op Ed and others against it.

And it brought to mind a very early memory of an elementary school substitute teacher who asked us if we were familiar with the phrase "America is a Melting Pot", and those that did raised their hands.

She waited until all hands went down and immediately exclaimed "WRONG!".

We were all puzzled and all looked at her quizzically. She said America is NOT a Melting Pot, it's a Salad Bowl.

She exclaimed that in a Melting Pot ingredients 'lose themselves' and become something else entirely as it blends. She said again America was a Salad Bowl because the ingredients do not become something else entirely, they retain their original shape, color and texture.

I honestly was never really sure why she felt the need to teach this lesson, it was not what our teacher was working on with us at that time.

Caroline Kennedy opened the show and there was a not dull moment from beginning to end, here are some of the tweets that stood out for me, if you look carefully at my screen grabs you will see the hearts are red, as these are tweets that I chose to "like" and some I also Re-Tweeted. (Press on each picture to make them bigger so they are easier to read).

Above: Such a nice photo of all the honorees: Top Left: LL Cool J, Top Right: Lionel Richie, Bottom Left Seated: Carmen De Lavallade, Center Seated: Norman Lear and Right Seated: Gloria Estefan

All such noteworthy nominees!

Above: LL Cool J salutes his fellow Kennedy Center Honorees in this tweet

About the Honorees:

James Todd Smith, also known as LL Cool J is actually one of the youngest honorees and is an Actor, Author, Rapper, and Entrepreneur.

Above: This tweet included a great gif, but to screen grab it, it stops the GIF. Since the next honoree is up Lionel, it works.

Lionel Brockman Richie, is a singer, songwriter and record producer, member of funk and soul band the Commodores, has sold over 90 million records world wide and is a five-time Grammy Award Winner. In 2016 he received the Songwriters Hall of Fame's highest honor, the Johnny Mercer Award.

Carmen De Lavallade is an Actress, Dancer and Choreographer who was raised by her Aunt Adele who owned one of the first African-American history bookshops and her cousin Janet Collins was the first African-American prima ballerina at the Metropolitan Opera.

Norman Lear is a Television writer and producer who produced notable 1970's sitcoms including: All in the Family, Sanford and Son, One Day at a Time, The Jeffersons, Good Times and Maude. He also founded the advocacy organization People for the American Way in 1981 and supports first amendment rights and progressive causes.

Gloria Estefan is a Singer, Songwriter, Actress and businesswoman who started off her career as the lead singer in the group "Miami Latin Boys" which was eventually called "Miami Sound Machine"

The tributes that were made during Kennedy Center Honors were all quite moving and many of the presenters and performers who were part of each tribute segment are also noteworthy in their own right.

There were so many performers on stage but there was one performance that I think raised the most eyebrows and it was Luke Bryan who performed two of Lionel Richie's hit songs including Penny Lover. He was an un-expected choice for certain, but it was so fun watching everyone in the audience singing along to that song, and many waiting for Lionel's reaction, which was positive.

Dave Chappelle also introduced Norman Lear and thanked him for his shows being pretty much his baby sitter growing up as a latch key kid.

Norman Lear was never afraid to tackle the tough issues and quite frankly his progressive thinking is something we really need more of.

The cast of On Your Feet performed during Gloria Estefan's tribute as well as Becky G. I am linking you to my review of the Broadway Musical On Your Feet because I LOVED it so much, if you haven't seen it or Kinky Boots please get on that like ASAP, and I am also linking you to a post I wrote recapping the Cosmo For Latinas #CFLFunFearless 2014 Awards where I met and nabbed a photo with singer Becky G who performed at the Kennedy Center Honors last night in tribute to Gloria Estefan. (And props to her very Selena inspired top! I see you Becky!)

Above: I am not sure how readable this one is, so just in case you don't feel like pressing it to make it bigger it reads:

"Watching #KCHONORS reminds me that intellectualism, the arts, empathy, honor, education, activism, and just plain doing the right thing cannot be dumbed down, unless we let it, its being ignorant, prejudiced, and noninclusive, greedy that is harmful" ~ @mikab98/Doc Brown via Twitter

Above: My blog template is making some of these way too small, so I am typing this out too:

"Watching the #KCHonors & realizing how excruciating it would have been for this POTUS to celebrate the talents of a Cuban singer, a pioneering dancer, and a philanthropic rapper, & a mulitalented musician who are all people of color & a liberal producer who changed TV forever." ~ @ChangeofHabits/SKeveryday via Twitter

Above: This tweet reads:

"In the absence of @POTUS, @realDonaldTrump seeing the #KennedyCenterHonors recognize four tremendous #PoC performers and white ally @NormanLearFilm - whose shows placed black and brown actors front and center on TV screens - makes a powerful statement. This is #America. #KCHonors" ~ @pauljschutz/Paul Schutz

Above: This Tweet Reads:

"Take a minute and realize this historic time in history. For the first time since the @KCHonors started, the current @POTUS isn't there. The honorees refused to attend if he was there (so I've read). So tonight, we have the same seat as @realDonaldTrump for the #KCHonors" ~ @estateplanjax/Mark F. Moss, Esq. via Twitter

My Take:

I am saddened and very disappointed that this is the first time in the show's history that our President wasn't there - for so many reasons and on so many levels.

I will say that the last time something got me this heated was reading about The Poor Door, and I link you to my reaction post on that topic as well, as I can say about many topics, the comments are Gold.

I do understand that the honorees themselves really didn't want him there, and I can't say I blame them quite frankly, but a leader has got to lead, we may be a salad bowl and not a melting pot but this country simply cannot afford to regress. We cannot afford to lose hard fought rights, we cannot afford to be divided by gender and race again. Will history really always be doomed to repeat itself?

Butterflies What Do YOU Think?: Do you think our President should have continued the long standing tradition of attending the Kennedy Center Honors? Why or Why Not? (Please be respectful of each other in your comments, all comments will be moderated before going live!)

˙·٠•●♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥●•●•٠·˙˙·٠•●♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥●•●•٠·˙˙·٠•●♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥●•●•٠·˙

FTC Disclosure: This is NOT a sponsored post, all opinions are 100% my own! I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission 16 CFR, Part 255 - Guides Concerning the use of endorsements and testimonials in advertising, you may check our Giveaway & Disclosure Page for additional information regarding Ascending Butterfly Disclosure. Things that lure this butterfly out of her cocoon: Technology, Travel, Fashion, Beauty, Spirits (Sparkling, Champagne, Prosecco, Sake, Bourbon, Craft Brews), Foodie Fun - really I'm such a *simple girl*.

Did you watch @kencen #KCHonors? Congrats to the honorees: @GloriaEstefan ‏@LionelRichie ‏@llcoolj @CarmenDances @GloriaEstefan @TheNormanLear published first on http://ift.tt/2ClTz23

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eekispyykes · 7 years ago

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On Suicides and Celebrity Artists.

M Bench

I was watching a few youtube videos about the passing of Chris Cornell and Chester Bennington. Pretty certain it was a Foo Fighters Interview and then A Pearl Jam tribute singing Black was featured.. Those who we call pop musicians; some started with the desperation of being a band that made it. That's all they set themselves to being. It's not shallow unless you find out after making it big that the effort of being a band was also done in procrastination and avoidance of responsible destinations and messages. Responsible goals and social activism are roles of those who educated themselves about the matter. Some lyrics get hailed as 'so deep' when they were written in 12 seconds to put some sort of vocal over the riff.

Some musicians started broken. They sing about being broken people. They title their albums " people=shit" . Some wear masks to obscure their identity but also complain the little kids in the front row don't want to look at their masked identity. Quite a complex conniption to want attention and not be seen. So I make my point; musicians aren't well in the head sometimes and its not only for being hayseeds from Iowa.

The point was made that a super mega star bank account won't keep people from killing themselves. "They have problems just like everyone else." Yes they do. Consider Christina Grimmie for situational personalization of mockery. Celebrity musicians have stalkers all the time. That Grimmie was female was even more a draw for predator types. A particular stalker might take up way too much of a celebrity's time that the music business is no longer fun. Tactics of security become tiring and anxious. . Grimmie was fatally shot by a stalker on June 10th,2016. Consider another star is fed up with their stalker. They see the stalker in the crowd and they want that person to hurt. Artists will be apt to dramatize their inconvenience. Would you call a vengeance ploy of killing themselves onstage just to break the heart of the stalker to be also selfish? The fan can't keep their shit straight. I think vengeance is a good virtue on a one on one basis. Inconvenienced bystanders have to understand conflict is not an aberration .

Artists have a preset to feel misunderstood and are misunderstood. I'm not explaining suicide for any generalized trend. Death and suicide should be seen as two different events by no intent of inadequate departure. Look at the trolls that tell artists they suck and they sold out. Fans don't get how too many among them feel ownership of a band. Teens especially feel like they are owed something from a band. I had this error of mind also. A band is not a corporation. Being a fan is not owning shares in a band. Similarly, being old enough to be news aware and objectively critical of a younger generation doesn't mean the right to bash them either.

I can say I have a reason depression would be worthwhile when hearing older Generation X'rs and Boomers pick up the trash talk from radio jocks. " The younger generation with their Ipods and smart phones, how terrible and lazy!" Critics of younger generations are an example of the prepackaged divisive rhetoric that sects of American males spew verbatim. Sometimes I see it amongst military types. Other times its gear heads and still other times the Duck Dynasty reruns. Old hagmen that wonder around and just say provoking things to teens. Is it jealousy?, I don't know.

What it is, is provocational and apathy. Apathetic people aren't good at talking about whats wrong with them. Surely they want to affect change for the worse without knowing themselves. Sit down and play a video game with your kids, spend time doing with what they're doing, parents. Maybe they'll notice their kids are being trained killers playing squad matches in counterstrike Global offensive. Mom hasn't yet managed a headshot. The manifestation of death isn't only suicide. People might just be dying inside in more than one way all over the place. Under the rockets red glare, bombs bursting in air.. a standardized anthem in preparation for war eventually rotted the American spirit inside out. Politics led people to war on each other as enemies of each others alternative facts.

An artist has a right to watch a new youtube video from an upstart musician and decide by one particular troll on a night of writers block was why 'going out on a high note is best". Career decisions happen by suicide. In the musicians consideration of their persona, they are owned by fans. If they can't write new music and can't write music to make continuing relevance, hasbeenism reminds them of their age. Hasbeenism keeps groupies from being as plentiful. Hasbeenism is accelerated by peoples attention shifting to the new sounds of the age. Its certainly good to move on from music as long as the artist is ready to see themselves as something other than a performer and center of attention.

Some teens and twenty somethings have moved on to exploit a bands type of genre as their excuse to punch random people in the audience. They call it crowd killing. Crowdkilling is not moshing and if you see a crowdkiller, by all means level them out. They are a criminal assailant by trait. The suicide topic and death are relevant. As a band, you are a business and the people of your reputation to assault nonmoshing fans is a problem child. Either a band is a good decision maker to eject the fan or their sense of scene is as mediocre as their fretboard theory.

Critics suggest music is ever getting worse. A characteristic of timbre has been said to be historically low. Timbre is how the totality of instruments co mingle on a recording to create authentic tertiary atmosphere in their sound. Some reason of this warmth is by the analog recording process. The bands tracks aren't only bouncing off their other bandmates but also the recording process itself.

Imagine a new generation growing into a world of critics that keep reinforcing their nonsence that music is disappearing? That’s a suicidal inclination no later than age 12. These critics are wrong. Kids are native to Mp3s which naturally strip away excess frequencies. Todays audiophiles also have a three lane criticism of music. Music of the radio station friendly variety isn't the whole of the cultural sphere. Lets talk about it at focus. Its mixed to be DJ friendly and listeners of that music expect to hear it in the frame of a DJ setting. Audiophiles in general aren't just listeners but also amateur audio engineers and home party DJs.

Our sounds are naked with digital recording for the better. Males voices and female voices are better trained. Sapiens are in want to hear themselves so vocals are naturally given their room to deliver deep or shallow or repetitive lyrics. They want to hear every note, every scream and the growl of phelgm in the back of a hardcore yellers throat. Clarity issues are the opposite of timbre. Music is moving away from it. On the mixing side, each instrument is being given its room in the mix for sake of remixes. Each mix is letting the instruments breathe. With only 4-5 people in a band, pop music shouldn't sound like symphonic timbres or asked to.

In the later phases of a bands life, they might team up with an orchestra to justify their music as technically academic. Metallica did this on the S&M album. Led Zeppelin and many other bands have come around the circle to this result. Pop tries to claim its merits among academia uselessly. Who cares? Gentrification of puritan establishment oppositional pop culture is happening. Its depressing and if suicide can become contagious across that isle, maybe its worth it. You're life is worth more than fulfilled martyrdom though. Know that.. or if disagreeing fully, at least be sure your manifesto is well written. I might be alive if even to suffer the vast too many typos of my first book's first version. I wrote another book and feel better about this whole author thing.

In the first world , the concept of celebrity is like a famous ideal of classism. It surpasses politicians by honesty. If a man cannot live honestly for himself, then why live? On that measure, the united states congress is only alive to be liars. My suspicion is Capitol Hill surely fears koolaid parties like being shown the sign of the cross and bursting to flames of their own dishonesty and malice. I cannot say an entertainer has moved on to a new level to kill themselves. Many more spheres exist for their adventure and rounding as people. It will be my long held belief is suicides among artists happen by two specific reasons: The oppressor they hate continues to be privileged to oppress in their viewpoint, or as honest people… they resent not knowing how to make change from their position of fame for the things they want to affect.

On that second measure is a split between the courage of being an entertainer and being an orator/activist. Bands get on stage drunk and fucked up for a reason.. to get over stage fright. Outing your own political platforms is a much bigger task than being knocked on a three chord progression among peers. Sometimes leadership among entertainers becomes a revealed gamble and peer into a window of a frail esteem. Fans and people of generic ilk expect that famous is the best of ideals. Expectations are being made daily how great it is to be famous. Not even with the assistance of drug addiction does fame necessarily meet the hype it was given. Only a small percent of the groupies can make it in the backstage loin attention hours. Three STDs later, a band is surely fed up with some aspects of too much attention and too much more risk.

Once the attention is a dull rash and the bank account can't be spend even so quickly for remaining in the zone of 'struggling new band' angst; fame loses its luster. Bands are often born in humble and under financed beginnings. It’s a part of the bands character.

Is it really selling out to buy the instruments you wanted? A Schecter Damien and Peavey 6505 cabinet is uptraded to a Fryette Pitbull with AAA figured Les Paul. The artist wants to hear their dream rig as recorded. The singer learns to sing and yells less. By these two factors a band will turn its tone to a legato sustained drone affect.

A metal band will confront its success by sounding too over produced. Some genres are famous for being poor and fame is the sellout. No longer owned by the fans is made a statement of abandonment for other than music itself. I blame some matters of depression on a difficultly with gender identity. When a bands material strays away from 'uber masculinity', self doubt can happen. I don't challenge each member about their own masculinity or femininity or queerness for that matter.. but what the feedback loop outlined a band in reviews.

The changes of material from Nevermind to In Utero cannot be ignored. The angst was gone. Perhaps with it a sense of being motivated. Making an enemy to confront will eventually be realized being a microphone for hate lyrics. Meanwhile, the political enemies were never too detailed or identified to make any significant statement in a song about topics in a deliberately preachy way.

Celebrities have to chase their own famous persona. Imagine facing waking mornings being more nice than you want to be so a fan doesn't post a video of you. That's not honest. What if you find out your fans were assholes in other aspects of their life? Its not that an artist might be depressed that ends their life. Ask why? Are you good enough fans? Are the people good enough to receive them? Third parties fail in the United States because the majority of campaign donors; even small donors; are attention invested to those they've donated before. They don't want to give attention to objective wants since they've be sold prepackaged platforms with the entertainment values of a rivalry. Suicide is a manifestation of choosing not to be among the society. It’s a social criticism to wonder about. To stoke change and to ask what must be changed, that's what I inquire on celebrity suicides. Depression doesn't happen on its own. If the world is depressing, make it happier. Unable to know how to make it better leads to more depression. And then after awhile people stop wanting to be depressed by assured permanence.

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sail-not-drift · 4 months ago

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Love to all my 1D friends tonight. Take care of yourselves, please ❤️

#I didn’t listen to them until college and they were never part of my DNA #but they’re intrinsically tied to my relationship with my two best friends from college #their music got me through my thesis #this is awakening memories I didn’t even know I had #if the others sing Night Changes in tribute I will honestly lose it #I’m so sorry to everyone hurting over this #for context: Liam Payne died today #Liam Payne for ts #in case anyone needs to mute

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