#if that’s even anything i think i blacked out im just saying words /silly | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hjparisian · 19 days

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so long, london- remus j lupin x reader

p: remus lupin x fem!reader w: sad, angst, like one or two cuss words, mentions of death s: the deaths of lily and james potter and the imprisonment of sirius black have led to a rift between (y/n) and remus' relationship. both haunted by that one night, it was only a matter of time until one of them left a/n: please bear with me in this as im not super knowledgable about the mauraders era but i hope this is okay! if yall have a 1000 page doc about this era, send it my way

Halloween of 1981 had to have been one of the darkest days in history. Lily and James Potter were dead, killed by Voldemort. Peter Pettigrew, dead, killed by his own friend Sirius Black, who is now in Azkaban.

Remus was still grieving the death of Marlene McKinnon when he found out about what happened to his best friends. He could barely hold in his tears as he held (Y/N) in his arms, who was already sobbing at the news.

The two couldn't believe it. How could Sirius Black sell out his own best friend and his wife to the Dark Lord? How could he kill his friends? Had he been hiding his loyalty this whole time?

The days following James and Lily's deaths were spent in darkness. Remus would sit in the room he and (Y/N) shared, staring at the fairy lights stringed about the walls. (Y/N) would spend her mornings doing tasks for the Order, while at night she would wallow in the arms of Remus.

Just when they thought things were terrible, it unfortunately got worse.

(Y/N) and Remus' good friend Dorcas Meadowes was found dead. Killed by Voldemort himself. Why? They'll never know.

The two were distraught, (Y/N) more so than Remus as she was closer to Dorcas. It appeared that (Y/N) would follow in Remus' own routine, hiding away in the spare bedroom that they used to let their friends rest in when they were over. At nights, she would return to her and Remus' bedroom to shower and sleep.

Remus could hear her sobs during her showers.

As the days went on, (Y/N) had began to accept the fate of her friends. Or she was hiding her true emotions from Remus, who remained a mess at the loss of his mates. Each day, (Y/N) would try to talk with Remus and get him out of the house. Unfortunately, the only time he would leave was during the full moon so not to hurt her.

Remus began distancing himself from (Y/N). He'd wake up earlier than her, he would have lunch before her, he would keep himself locked in the bedroom during the day, wait 'til she was asleep to turn in.

Anything to be alone.

(Y/N) had tried to follow Remus' new routine, trying to catch him whenever she could. Even if she had to wake up earlier than she would, even if she had to stay up later to see Remus join her in bed. Anything she could to try to talk with Remus.

Silly girl.

It became rare for the two to even have a long lasting conversation, let alone a lighthearted, joyful chat. Any words spoken were those of sorrow and anger. The young woman had once attempted to talk to Remus about his mood changing, trying to get him to talk through it.

It ended in tears and slamming doors.

Since that talk, tensions between the two were higher than ever, and not in the way one may think. They began to have more arguments in a month than they ever had in their entire relationship.

Though one argument was not like the others.

"Rem, come on!" She pleaded with him. "You haven't been outside in months! Everybody is starting to assume you're dead!"

"Well let them think that! Everyone I cared or loved is already dead. Anyone who's ever loved me is gone."

"But what about me?" She asked him. "I'm still here Remus. But lately you act like I'm not!"

Remus stops his tracks in the living room. "Sorry that our friends dying has affected me so badly."

"Remus, you're acting like you're the only one affected by their deaths." She says to him. "I'm upset about it too. They were my friends as much as they were yours."

"You never knew James or Sirius or Peter like I did," Remus yells at her. "You never spent most of your school years with them, knowing every little thing about them."

"That doesn't mean we weren't friends and you know that Remus. You're acting like they were the only people you've lost," the woman says. "I lost Lily. I lost Marlene, Dorcas. Hell, have you even heard about what happened to Mary? She's gone missing Remus! They're saying she might've been killed."

"You don't need to remind me everyone that's gone, (Y/N)! I'm more than aware of what's happening and I don't need to be reminded."

The woman huffed. "Well with the way you're locked up here, it seems like it."

"Not everyone can carry on with their lives after finding out someone who was basically like family is dead!" Remus shouts.

"Well, sorry I've been busy distracting myself with work from the Order! Trying to do what I can to help anyone that left!"

All Remus could do was roll his eyes, frustration clouding his emotions. "Why even bother? They couldn't save our friends, now they're gone! You're being stupid."

"Remus-"

"Bloody hell, I can't do this. I'm leaving." The boy declares, having enough of this.

Remus stomped out the door, slamming it behind him. All (Y/N) could do was dropped to her knees in tears, exhaustion hitting her. Sobs filled the empty room.

The man fled to the streets of London, finding shelter in a hotel near the heart of the city. He spent a few nights there, getting the space he felt he deserved. Remus had no one to talk to about this, and sitting in a lonely white bed had reminded him of it.

No James. No Lily.

No Sirius. No Marlene.

No Peter. No Dorcas.

No Mary.

He had no one. Except (Y/N).

Oh what an idiot he is.

Remus had let his anger get the best of him. He had yelled at his favorite girl and basically told her to fuck off. What a dick he is. The fight had began to flood his head, reminding him of how much he screwed up.

He had to go find her.

The werewolf quickly left the hotel, determined to return to where he and (Y/N) were last together.

He ran to the streets and waved his arms haphazardly, aiming to flag down the nearest cab. He stumbled inside the next one that stopped for him and told him the address.

As soon as the cab stopped by his house, Remus gave him money and ran to the door. He took the key from his pocket and unlocked their apartment door. He pushed the door open to a silent living room.

"Hello?" Remus calls out. "(Y/N) are you here?"

The young man began wandering through the apartment, which seemed slightly emptier than usual. His bedroom seemed the most off to him. He couldn't have been away that long, right?

A white envelope sitting against a vase on the night stand had caught his eye. 'Remus' was written on the front in pretty handwriting that he knew belonged to his girlfriend. He opened it up to reveal a letter for him.

He sat on the floor against his bed and began reading it. As he read through it, he felt his heart crumbling to pieces. It felt like everything was hitting him all at once.

Remus,

I've decided it was time for me to say so long to the place I once called home.

As much as I love this place, London, England, I cannot bear being here anymore. All the memories I've made with everyone will haunt me knowing I've been the unfortunate one who was chosen to be alive out of them.

I'll be leaving the country to go who knows where. Anywhere will be better than here. I think I'd implode if I stayed here any longer.

I've also decided to start clean and leave my wizarding roots behind. As much as I loved being a witch, going to Hogwarts and learning magic, I can't think about it without being reminded of what happened. I don't want my past to follow me around.

I'm sorry I couldn't have done better, Remus. I'll miss you, and I hope your life gets better. Hope you find someone better.

~(Y/N).

The letter fell from his hands.

Remus couldn't believe it. He had lost the last person in his life that cared for him. His whole world was gone, taken from him.

"Fuck."

He stood up and shoved the vase to the ground out of anger, watching it shatter. Water ran across the floor under the broken pieces and ruined flowers.

A wave of emotions hit Remus all at once. He didn't know what to feel. There was nothing he could do to change the past.

Poor young Remus. He was truly alone, forever.

#harry potter #harry potter x reader #remus lupin #remus lupin x reader #remus john lupin #remus j lupin #mauraders #hp fanfic #maurauders era #maurauders fanfic #remus x reader

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nghtwngs · 2 years

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silly human traditions

description: you’ve never had a new year’s kiss before. neither has the doctor. you decide to change that tonight.

pairing: tenth doctor x reader (you can probably read it as eleven too!)

genre: fluff, friends to lovers, mutual pining

word count: 1.2k

warnings: alcohol consumption (by the doctor), ten might be ooc bc im literally rewatching eleven’s episodes (im on the second christmas special rn!) and i think ive lost his voice but i hope that’s not the case

a/n: happy new year!! i wrote this up like real fast bc i was thinking about kissing ten and well… yeah

You walk into the TARDIS’s control room with a huge grin plastered on your face. “Doctor, we have to celebrate our first New Year!”

The Doctor looks up from the control console and turns his head to face you. “New Year?” His eyebrows are furrowed, lips curled down into a frown. “There’s no concept of time in the time vortex—how would we celebrate New Year’s?”

“Well, my phone’s calendar doesn’t change.” You pull out your device, opening the calendar app and holding it up for him to see. “It’s currently December 31st. And also we celebrated the holidays this past week.”

He pulls out his glasses out of his suit and puts them on. He squints at your screen anyway. “Well, I guess so. How’d you figure we do that?” He jumps up, running over to you. “What about a planet where everything is made of water? Or we could watch a galaxy of stars fizzle out into nothing but dust!”

“Well, Doctor, I was thinking we could just, I don’t know… spend it on Earth? Watch the ball drop in Time Square or something? Hm, actually maybe not that.”

“You little humans and all your traditions.”

“You love it.”

He mirrors your cheeky grin. “Alright, then! I think I have just the place.” He rushes over to the console, doing his thing. The TARDIS makes her signature wheezing noise, reminding you to hold on tight. “New York! Present year… well, for you anyway. Two hours ‘til midnight. Dress well. We have a party to crash!”

You make a sound of excitement, giving the Doctor a chaste kiss on the cheek. “Amazing.” You run off to the TARDIS’s vast wardrobe to find an appropriate outfit.

After finishing getting ready, you pop back into the control room to find the Doctor fiddling with his tie. He’s dressed in a black suit. A classic. You think it suits him well. (Pun not intended.)

“No bow tie this time?” you ask, walking over to him.

He just shakes his head. “Nah.”

“You clean up nicely,” you say, tightening his tie for him.

He smiles so softly at you that it makes your heart ache with need. “You do too.”

You clear your throat when the intensity of his gaze hits you. “Well, we better get to the party. Don’t wanna miss anything else.” You link your arms, dragging him out of the TARDIS.

Turns out, the party he took you to crash is filled with a bunch of celebrities. No one either of you care for, but celebrities nonetheless. It makes you feel important to be around all these people. Like you’re important enough to be around the Doctor, who you’d say is the most famous of them all. It makes you feel special. Being here. With him, but maybe not with him.

He doesn’t even bother to correct anyone when they mistake you for being an item. You often wonder if there is any deeper meaning behind that. It makes your heart stumble off beat. But that’s silly. A ridiculous, quite pathetic notion.

Silly human things, you suppose.

But it’s okay. He makes you feel special. Anyone the Doctor chooses to be his companion is special.

The very best of humanity, he’d say.

The Doctor has a sip of some random alcoholic drink you were both offered (you declined) and sticks his tongue out in disgust. He immediately places the glass back onto the tray. “That was dreadful. Absolutely dreadful.”

You can’t stop yourself from giggling until he grabs your water and chugs the entire thing. You grumble, “I was about to drink that.” But your words come out much too soft, too fondly for him to believe you’re really upset over it.

He leads you out onto the balcony with his hand on your back. You forget all about your drink.

“Oh my, God!” You double over, holding onto the Doctor’s arm. “They were sentient? How can grass be sentient?” You both continue to wheeze like it’s the funniest thing the two of you ever heard.

“Yeah, they were quite rude honestly. Telepathic. Said my hair looks ridiculous,” he muses. His voice suddenly goes quiet. He leans into you, staring into your eyes like it’d make you any more honest. “Does my hair look ridiculous?”

You run your fingers through his locks, making sure not to mess them up. “Your hair looks great. I always like it.”

“Yeah? You think so?”

You nod in agreement.

Cheers erupt from inside, and you’re worried you missed the countdown. But there’s still another five minutes left.

“Do you have any resolutions for the New Year, Doctor?”

“Resolutions? Why would I need resolutions? Is that some human tradition? Why do you have so many traditions?”

“People just want to have goals, I guess? I never really stuck with mine. And well, it’s really just that and uh… the New Year’s kiss.”

“New Year’s kiss?” He frowns.

“Yeah, they say if you kiss someone at midnight on New Year’s, it’ll strengthen the bond between you? I don’t know. It’s silly. I’ve never had a New Year’s kiss before, so I couldn’t tell you if it’s true or not.”

“Huh.” There’s his thinking face. Nothing good ever comes from his thinking face. Not unless you’re in a life or death situation, and you don’t think you are right now. At least you really hope not. “Do you… Would you like to test that theory out?”

You almost choke. “What?”

“Well, I mean, it’s not like we have to or anything.”

“I didn’t peg you as the superstitious type.”

“I’m not. But no harm in trying it out, right?”

No, there’s a lot of harm in trying it out, you want to say. You think your heart might explode out of your chest. That would be a horrible way to start out the new year. He’d have to find another companion whose heart stays in their chest cavity and away from both of his.

“Yeah, no harm at all.”

Why can’t your mouth just stay shut sometimes?

You hear the countdown start.

Ten.

He holds your chin between his index finger and thumb.

Nine.

His warm eyes look into yours.

Eight.

You’ve never been touched with such gentleness before.

Seven.

His scent is so clean and warm and so him.

Six.

The proximity is completely dizzying.

Five.

You think you can feel your knees buckle.

Four.

How can he look at you as if you’re the only interesting thing in the universe?

Three.

When he’s seen it all.

Two.

A quick glance at your lips.

One.

The Doctor presses his lips against yours. It’s wonderful. He tastes like berries. When in the world did he have berries? Your arms slink around him, pulling him as close as possible. He doesn’t seem to mind. He cups your face with his hands. What a brain melting kiss. The strings of his hearts are knotting with yours. You want to be consumed by this feeling.

It doesn’t register that you have to breathe for a minute, but you think you’d kiss him forever if you could. You have all the time in the world anyway. You wonder how long can Time Lords go without air. Probably much longer than humans, yeah? You, with much reluctance, pull away.

He pecks your lips again. He grins cheekily at you. “A while.”

You scoff. You hate it when he does that. And when he smiles at you like that. Your neck grows hot even though it’s cool outside. “It’s midnight.” You’re still breathless.

“It is.”

“You’re my first New Year’s kiss.”

“You’re mine.”

Maybe it’s true; the bond between you does feel stronger this year. You kiss him again and then some more.

#tenth doctor x reader #tenth doctor imagine #10th doctor x reader #10th doctor imagine #eleventh doctor x reader #eleventh doctor imagine #11th doctor x reader #11th doctor imagine #doctor who x reader

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chuulyssa · 6 months

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coffee? (l lawliet)

↷ ASK ─ L and reader met at a cafe where L is a regular but reader is a new recruit at the cafe as a waitress who is being harrassed by some dudes and L steps in just to get feelings for her.

★ COUNT ─ 1.2k

!! TAGS ─ l lawliet x reader, slight harassment, catcalling, degrading (not by l), cliffhanger ending because im an asshole (also im a lazy bitch sorry)

★ PROLOGUE ─ stepping in to help without the security of a mask teaches a detective how to love

L settled into his favourite spot at the cozy café. He felt the familiar sense of comfort wash over him. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee and the soft murmur of undecipherable conversation surrounded him, leaving him in complete relaxation. It was days like this that helped take his mind off murders and mysteries and sink deep within solace and peace.

He let out a content sigh and reached for his book, ready to lose himself in its pages, when a voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Hello, welcome to our café. My name is Y/N, and I'll be your waitress today. May I take your order?"

L glanced up to see a new face smiling warmly at him, your name tag proudly displaying your name. He couldn't help but return your smile with a small one himself, an action which was quite unusual, even for his own standards.

"Hello, Y/N," L replied with a nod. "I'll just have my usual, please."

"Um... your usual?" you blinked, embarrassed. "I'm sorry, I'm-"

"Ah, it's alright, I figured as much," L waved a hand. "A black coffee."

You wrote it down on your little notepad. "Anything else?"

"Well..." L trailed off, thinking. He never really cared much about the other items on the menu. This time, however, to his own amusement, he found himself asking, "What would you recommend?"

"Huh? I- um," you were caught off-guard. In your defense, it was only your first day as an employee. How were you supposed to answer this customer now? "I suppose... a croissant?"

"Great choice," L nodded. "Please add that to my order."

"Okay!"

After you left, L was left wondering why in the world he ordered a croissant of all things. He could already picture Watari shaking his head at the fact that a million croissants could have been ordered in a second if he had said so. Still, L shrugged and looked over at the counter, grumbling internally when he didn't find you there.

The soft clinking of silverware and porcelain from the kitchen reminded him of how empty his stomach was. L's gaze returned to his book, one foot tapping on the ground in a firm rhythm. As soon as you came back with his order, he took it without a word. He smiled, albeit slightly, before taking a small bite of the croissant.

"It's quite nice actually," he muttered watching you retreat to another table, surprised because he didn't usually compliment any kind of food.

Your evening shift was coming to an end. While you were packing up and getting ready to leave and call it a day, a sudden ring from the front door of the cafe signaled another customer. You sighed before throwing your apron back on and hurrying towards the table.

Upon reaching there, you realized that it wasn't just one customer, but a whole group of men, probably in their early 20s. You wondered why they'd be here of all places - in a cafe, that is, and not at some bar getting wasted. Still, pushing those thoughts aside, you bent over slightly to talk to the nearest person, inquiring about their order.

The group of men gave a few whistles and even a few catcalls as you conversed. From the corner of your eye, you could see many of them staring at your behind, and you immediately straightened up uncomfrotably.

“Well, well,” one of them snickered as he glanced you over. “If it isn't the new, cute waitress. Hey, why don't you come over here and join us? There’s plenty of room on this table.”

You blinked at him, trying not to punch him in the face. "I'm sorry, sir. We aren't authorized to be-"

"Ack, stop that silly talk. I don't understand nothin' of what you're trynna say," his words were slurred by the alcohol in his system, while you looked for ways to get out of this situation.

The rest of them were eyeing you up and down as they laughed amongst themselves, seemingly amused by their companion’s crude behaviour. Their eyes were like sharks circling their prey, searching for a chance to seize it.

“Ah, come on now,” another one spoke up, giggling. “You can take a break, right? It’s not like anyone’s going to notice if you’re gone for a few minutes. So what do you say? You join us, and we have some fun?”

"Um, I'll have to decline, sorry-"

"Hello," a quiet voice interrupted. The men turned to look at the new addition to their conversation, jeering.

"You want some fun too? It's alright, join us. We won't mind," one of the men laughed.

"Leave her alone," L was surprised at his own willingness to go out of his way to help you. After all, he had just met you, so there was no way he had already become 'attached' to you, right?

Right?

"Woah, woah, chill, mate," one of them said with a smirk. "Who are you - her boyfriend? Her bodyguard?"

The men laughed along, and another one added, "Yeah, man. Stop ruining the fun."

"She said no, alright? So back off."

The other men snickered. The air was filled with a tense silence as L and the drunkard stared intently at each other.

The drunkard scoffed, “Nah, man, for real though. What’re you, her boyfriend or something? Don’t even bother, dude. With a face like that, you’re obviously not the type the bitches want.”

L felt a strange sensation of anger and irritation as a muscle in his jaw clenched. Did he just dare to call you a bitch? He kept his face unreadable as he met the drunkard’s gaze again.

The drunkard smirked. “Oh? Did I hit a sore spot there? Do I need to repeat myself? There’s no way that bitc would go for a guy like-"

SMACK! The drunkard fell out of his chair, and you could have sworn you saw a few teeth fly off. L's foot had landed straight to his jaw and knocked the man off his feet.

The other three men sat still as they stared at L, a mixture of shock and disbelief written on them.

L looked down at the still unconscious drunkard with a stone-cold expression, as if he was used to knocking people out with his boots.

The three men looked at each other, unsure of how to react.

"W-we're leaving," one of them said finally, grabbing his drunk companion by the arms and dragging him out of the café.

Your hands were clasped onto your mouth, genuinely shocked, but also trying to hide a little smile that threatened to be seen by the others.

The café had fallen silent. It was only broken by the sound of the front door closing and the sound of footsteps outside.

L's gaze snapped up as he looked at you. It was like his senses were finally coming back to his body. He cleared his throat and turned towards you again, his demeanour shifting into its usual emotionless state.

"Are you okay?"

"Y-yea," you said, taking your hands off your mouth awkwardly. "That was a... um... clean kick."

L looked at you as if he could suddenly see you in a completely different light. Why did he step in to help you? Why did he lash out at your customers? Heck, why did he even stay that long in the cafe?

He frowned at the new emotion that was building up in him. What was this feeling that he, the greatest detective ever, could not figure out?

With a timid sigh, L closed his eyes briefly before opening them and mumbling a little, "Thank you."

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

@nezuko-kamado-cute-demon

#l lawliet #l lawiet #dn lawliet #l lawilet #ryuzaki #death note #l x reader #l x you #l x y/n #death note lawliet #lawliet x reader #ryuzaki lawliet #l death note #l #ask

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falling-star-cygnus · 7 months

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y'all were so sweet about Duckie Deer!! im like- crying, im so happy y'all liked it :D

without further ~ado~ here's pt.2!

{His chest hurt.}

{Alastor would never admit it, how the constant tug kept a persistent ache all the way to the back of his throat. He couldn't afford to be seen as anything less then what he's portrayed himself as to his friends the rest of the hotel's residents}

{The Radio Demon was not weak.}

{Unfortunately, Alastor's embarrassing little tumble into the micro King of Hell's staff had aggravated the gash an... unprecedented amount. He needed to retreat, lick his wounds before making his daily appearance.}

{His new rubber duck stared him down from it's perch above his fireplace. It's gaze was... eerily judgmental for an inanimate toy}

{Alastor turned the thing around}

{Clearing his throat, and maybe feeling a bit silly at his actions, the Radio Demon takes care of his hinderance as quickly and effectively as he can. Which was... less effective then he'd prefer. But there's little to be done about holy injuries.}

{He snaps his fingers to get his attire back into place as a somewhat hesitant knock fills the once trembling air}

{Perfect timing, Alastor thinks. He expects it to be Charlie on the other side, or maybe Husker given the reluctant tapping on the wood. He should really apologize to that cat}

{He's not expecting it to be Lucifer}

"Well, this is a surprise! To what do I owe the pleasure of having the shortest king in Hell at my doorway?"

{Predictably, Lucifer rises to the bait without fail. His angry sputtering is hilarious in his own right, and a welcome distraction to the pinch in the deer's side}

"I will have you know I am a decent height. You are just abnormally tall!"

{Alastor blinks slowly, tilting his head in that condescending way that he knows to irritate even the most level headed of sinners. Now if only he could find a way to prevent his ears from canting with it. Infernal things.}

"Of course, your highness-" "Lucifer." "Yo- hm?"

{The Radio Demon's sarcastic quip dies before reaching fruition, caught off guard by the sudden interruption}

"Talking in the third person now, your royal shortness?" "You just can't help yourself, can you?"

{Alastor's sardonic grin is enough of an answer}

"Ugh- No. Just call me Lucifer. It feels weird having one of Charlie's friends call me by my title."

{Friends. There's that word again. Alastor doesn't do friends, he refuses to lower himself to that standard. It doesn't matter that he nearly died for them. That he might still die for them, if he can't sort his current hinderance out. It doesn't matter that he might find their presence enjoyable entertaining from time to time. It doesn't matter that he'd do it again}

{His stay at this hotel is far from permanent.}

"Alastor?" "Yes, your majesty?"

{The wendigo snaps back to the conversation, barely aware of how deeply he had sunk into his own head. Lucifer's face twitches with annoyance}

{Good, Alastor thinks. This conversation was dredging somewhere far too vulnerable}

"Stubborn ass- hey, why's your duck turned around?"

{The sudden shift in the conversation nearly gives Alastor whiplash, leaving Lucifer an opening to bully his way inside the room. Not like it took much of it, all things considered, the wendigo had flinched away from his probing hands like a doe at footsteps}

{His bite-sized majesty examines the red and black duck, looking confused at why the little thing was facing the wall; either blissfully ignorant or thankfully unwilling to acknowledge how he got in. Alastor's ears pin back before he can stop them}

"It was looking at me weird."

{He hadn't meant to say that.}

{Lucifer stares at him blankly for what feels like hours. The deer braces himself for whatever insult the king will throw at him with the ammo he had just carelessly provided}

"You feel it too!?"

{What.}

"Like- they're so judgmental looking for having such happy faces!"

{The red duck is hardly happy looking in the first place! At least to Alastor. More… akin to cheerfully mournful}

“I didn’t do anything to it. If that’s what you were thinking-”

{Wrong thing to say, Lucifer winces and cuts himself off. The screech of feedback only further proves that he had planted seeds of paranoia in the already skittish Radio Demon. Fast blooming seeds}

{Damnit}

“What did you say?” “Ok- ok, i shouldn’t have said that- But really it’s just a normal rubber duck-! That switches hands! You liked that part, remember?”

{Maybe if he talks fast enough he can smooth this over before Alastor lashes out}

{He really should’ve known better}

{Lucifer lets Alastor prowl closer and snatch the duck from his hands. Close but not touching. His smile is fraught, held up by mere threads that Lucifer can’t see}

“Really, your highness? Resorting to monitoring me. And here I nearly took your ‘gift’ as a gesture of good will. My mistake.” “It was a gesture of good will!”

{Alastor scoffs in disbelief, his voice heavily distorted by radio transmissions as his red sclera turns black}

{The poor rubber duck wheezes pitifully under the force of the wendigo’s slowly crushing grip. Oddly enough, it seems to capture the Radio Demon’s full attention. His grip on the little thing softens, a conflicted expression flitting over his face as the duck returns to its normal shape}

{Lucifer feels emboldened when he realizes why, near giddy if he was being completely transparent. He grabs both of the deer’s lower arms, ignoring the screech of static}

“I swear on Charlie, it’s just a normal rubber duck.”

{Alastor falters, ears twitching back as he subconsciously wrests for control of them. Lucifer would never bet his precious daughter if he wasn’t being completely honest about this and they both know it}

“…That switches hands.”

{The royal armrest beams at the response. Alastor immediately regrets giving him an out. It does get Lucifer to let go of his arms, though, so- small heh victories.}

“Exactly, I knew you liked that part!”

{The wendigo rolls his eyes fondly. Things seem blurry as he fixes the little thing back into its place, properly surveying the room this time. His blinks feel sticky, like something was forcing the deer out of his head. Vaguely, he can make out Lucifer's jumbled words}

"Alastor?"

{Get a grip, Alastor scolds himself. His breaths feel like they're coming in through a whistle. They squeak like it too, much to his horror}

{The Radio Demon's knee buckles}

"Alastor!"

{A cool, smooth hand blocks his head from hitting the corner of his shelf. It's almost disturbing how quickly the deer loses his dignity and falls into it}

{One little stumble, a single trip in the carefully crafted pace he had set for himself and his whole visage crumbled. In front of the king of hell no less!}

{Still... Alastor can't help but feel a little grateful that it's not Charlie. For some reason, worrying the princess makes the ache in his chest seem small in comparison}

{The deer demon comes to laid up in his bed, coat missing. Panic builds up in throat; what happened? Why was he partially undressed? He was talking with the king of hell and then... and then what?}

{Alastor feels- ugh feels- strangely nothing as he pushes himself up. No tightening, no pinch in his throat, no... pain?}

{His comforter slips down to pool around his waist, the heady panic he had been trying to stave off reaching a fever pitch as he realizes his shirt is unbuttoned. All his scars on display}

{Except... fresh, clean bandages hug his exposed torso; they obscure anything that might be even slightly revealing and that... eases the wendigo somewhat. He's not in pain, he's covered, he's safe}

"You're awake!"

{Lucifer doesn't recall there being a turntable in the room. And then he realizes the record scratch came from the Radio Demon}

"Wow, you really make... just a bunch of weird sounds, don't you?" "Why, whatever do you mean?"

{Deflect, deflect, deflect-}

"Are we really going to pretend like you didn't just nearly die right now? I was- Charlie could've gotten worried, you know!"

{Alastor's ears pin back, warning static beginning to fill the room as the shadows thrash on the walls}

"She doesn't know, of course. I figured you wouldn't... appreciate that. It was the least I could do after-" "What do you want." "Pardon?"

{The deer glares at Lucifer. His smile aches and pulls at the corners uncomfortably. Shoving himself to his feet- hooves, his boots have been removed- Alastor leans down to Lucifer's level}

"Do you really think me so naïve as to believe you did this for no other reason then the peace of mind of your child? What. Do. You. Want-"

{He barely jerks back fast enough to avoid the white duck thrust at his nose. It's a little rendition of the king himself, complete with a top hat and six little pairs of wings. The wendigo blinks}

"Am I a storage unit to you?" "Do you want the duck to stop looking judgmental?"

{Alastor puts the duck on his shelf}

{Embarrassingly, he only then thinks to fix his improper state of dress. With a snap, the Radio Demon clears his throat}

"If that is all, neither of us will speak of this-"

{Lucifer acts on instinct, catching the suddenly fatigued deer with a hand around his waist. And then he promptly bluescreens.}

{One. hand. One hand! Around the whole thing! He knew Alastor was somewhat emaciated just from when he was fixing the holy wound on his chest- seriously, why did he keep that a secret, but this was whole other ballpark!}

"Uh... we gotta stop parting ways like this." "I completely agree."

{The deer melts into shadows again, but unlike last time doesn't reappear anywhere in the room. Lucifer can't help the twinge of worry annoyance that sparks up in his chest}

{Seriously, he had just warned that guy that using his power so soon would- ooh.}

{He didn't mention that part, did he?}

#y'all thought i wouldn't bring the finale into this #sorry it’s a little late #pt 3?#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel 2024 #hazbin hotel fanfiction #duckiedeer #appleradio #radioapple #alastor the radio demon #lucifer morningstar #hazbin lucifer #hazbin alastor

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kisbunzies · 11 months

Text

More silly tf2 headcanons because i know more about them than valve does.

Sniper is practically nocturnal. You wont see him all day but you will find him sitting on the couch in base with snacks and a movie going like it 3am , no shoes or shirt despite it being February and his camper being parked like a mile.away acting like its totally normal. Will literally nap anywhere during the after noon dont be surprised if one day you find him hanging upside down like a vampire.

Speaking of which this mans goes everywhere shirtless and shoeless . gas station ? Shirtless and shoe less . walmart ? Shirtless and shoeless .middle of winter ? Maybe he's got socks on. They have to yell at him to get dressed or atleast put on sunscreen so he doesn't get crustier than he already is.

Pyro's really good at open flame cooking , bonfire grill gas stove flambae torch they can make anything as long as it requires fire. Also pyros mexican and atleast half of their "strange noises" are just them mumbling to themselves in spanish.

Heavy likes cozy stuff , he's struggled enough if he wants hot cocoa and a knitted blanket he can have hot cocoa and a knitted blanket. Owns the fuzziest pair of bear slippers known to man. Also i feel like he's a salmon guy idk maybe he rlly is just a bear but guy.

Saxton hale likes men.

Scout if so painfully straight. And i dont mean straight as in sexuality i mean straight as in pure fucking aura. Ms pauling comes out as a lesbian and he says "oh shit i like girls too we should date" sees heavy and medic kiss and his brain doesn't acknowledge it. This is true even is scout likes dudes he's the 1970's equivalent of those guys nowadays who wear nothing but nike and use the word gyat unironically and im tired of pretending like he isn't.

Ms pauling wants to be a merc so bad she thinks that its so cool but her mom told her murders for boys so she's just the administrators assistant/hj

Demoman has the most curly , bouncy , volumous gorgeous hair under than beanie. He keeps it in cornrows most of the time but when he does wear his hair out its a sight to behold.

Engineer makes the corniest , most dad like jokes known to man , its literally horrible they all groan so loud whenever he does but he thinks its hilarious.

Sniper , scout , pyro and soldier are all sour gummy worm addicts to the point that their stash takes up and entire shelf in the base pantry. Go through a costco bag a week.

The local costco dreads their presence , engineer and sniper and in the outdoors section, medics necromancing the chickens , pyros was the one roasting those chickens before they got necromanced, they managed to lose heavy somehow , scout managed to convince spy to get into a toilet paper fort they made and now their introuble with management, soldiers ordering a forth of july cake despite it being october and demomans buying premade meal kits for dinner for him.and his mom over the week. Pyro saved him a necromanced rotisserie chicken. And yes sniper still isn't wearing a shirt or shoes they've given up.

Spy had eyebags and grey hair , misses when was young and spry , is a little jealous of medic managing to have a full head of dark hair.

Medics ethnically jewish. He gets his black market organs kosher .

And finally out of all the mercs soldier goes to.medic the most for actual injuries , scout goes the most for.minors , engineers got the most perscriptions including hearing aids and stuff for pyro he picks up , sniper never goes to the doctor and medic has to drag him in . spies the worse when it comes to appointments (doesn't like any part of him being seen and despit having spy training still doesn't like.needles) and medic favorite patient is heavy for obvious reasons

#tf2 #tf2 engineer #scout tf2 #spy tf2 #demoman tf2 #tf2 scout #engineer tf2 #heavy tf2 #medic tf2 #pyro tf2 #sniper tf2 #tf2 headcanons #headcanon #lake's rambles

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pizza-hats-of-the-world-1882 · 2 months

Text

comc reread chapter 1: the arrival

literally in the second sentence of the entire book we get a chateau d'if mention. wonder if thats relevant. lots of boat words i dont understand [bodes really well for me reading master and commander lol]

we of course meet good egg edmond dantes and i'll just come right out and say it: if a man in classic lit has black eyes, hes insane and has something wrong with him. aramis, edmond, heathcliff, etc. this also applies to grey eyes but thats a different kind of insane. hope this helps<3

[does anyone think leclere was poisoned? like it says he had a long meeting w some guy (prolly bonaparte related) and then suddenly got very sick? theres nothing to actually imply this im just saying this recreationally] [also: sea burial! reminds me a lot of smth that happens later winky face]

naturally we get some pro-boney sentiments, and it turns out that napoleon even remembers one of the morrel family serving him! this definetly doesnt have anything to do with dumas' family history winky face

lots of sad foreshadowing for papa dantes [who am i kidding this chapter is 90% foreshadowing for everyone]

"Edmond, you have a very handsome mistress!”

“She is not my mistress,” replied the young sailor, gravely; “she is my betrothed.”

“Sometimes one and the same thing,” said Morrel, with a smile.

“Not with us, sir,” replied Dantès.

i just think this quote is very funny. look your employer dead in the eye and tell him your a virgin. why not man [i do love how much you can tell from the way they talk to each other that edmond and m. morrel are friends<3 love and peace on planet earth]

“No, sir; I have all my pay to take—nearly three months’ wages.”

“You are a careful fellow, Edmond.”

“Say I have a poor father, sir.”

again w the relatable lols eddie

“Yes, yes, I know how good a son you are, so now hasten away to see your father. I have a son too, and I should be very wroth with those who detained him from me after a three months’ voyage.”

MAX MENTION!!!!

"There’s a providence that watches over the deserving."- m. morrel, completely unaware of the foreshadowing

"I think he never liked me since the day when I was silly enough, after a little quarrel we had, to propose to him to stop for ten minutes at the island of Monte Cristo to settle the dispute—a proposition which I was wrong to suggest, and he quite right to refuse."

its like. so obvious on a second read. hey can y'all stop foreshadowing for five seconds i need to write a tumblr post

#highly disorganized thoughts #pizza talk #comc 2 #yeah sure thatll be the tag #the count of monte cristo

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ikeromantic · 9 months

Note

For the ikePri events, could I get Chev in the Rose Garden with the Honey cake?? (I just started IkePri and im excited I to read everything!)

Mmmm some sweet Chevalier coming right up ^_^ Approx. 700 words of our second prince showing his true colors in the rose garden! IkePri New Years Event story!

Chevalier loosened the collar of his suit with a sigh. He felt exhausted. People were exhausting. He turned his head to glare coldly at the bright-lit ballroom windows. Even out here he could hear the inane chatter. It would never cease to annoy that people - nobles - needed this sort of event to convince them to do what was needed.

“King Chevalier?”

He turned his head. “You.” He didn’t ask why she’d followed him. Chevalier already knew why, even if he still had trouble understanding it.

Emma smiled, a crooked little half smile that Chev knew all too well. “I thought if the King could slip away, I could too.” She shrugged, “Nokto and Sariel have things under control.”

“I already know that.” He looked away from her at the rose garden around them. In the dim light, the crimson blossoms were black, and all the other colors muted. The garden could only be brought to life by light, he thought, his lips twisting in a wry smile.

Emma slipped in beside him, and his arm settled naturally around her shoulders. Neither said anything as they walked slowly together along the winding white stone path.

Chevalier felt his annoyance ebb in the gentle presence of his lover. His heart warmed under her gentle gaze and a new energy came to life in him from her touch.

“Do you have a New Year resolution,” she asked as they came to a stop beside one of the garden’s enormous fountains.

“No,” he snorted. “Such things are -”

She finished the sentence with him, “foolish.” Emma laughed. “I knew you’d say that. But I have a resolution. Do you want to hear it?”

Chevalier let out a breath, pretending to be irritated. “I suspect you will tell me regardless.”

“True.” Her eyes were merry. “My resolution is to love you even more than I already do.”

Chevalier stroked the nape of her neck, trying for a softer touch. “Impossible.” His voice was low, barely a breath. Her smile was so beautiful, he thought. What madness for a creature like her to love a beast, and more, that the beast had found he could love her back. His heart ached with the fullness of that love.

Emma’s smile widened. “I thought so too, because I love you more than I knew it was possible to love anyone. But then I thought, why not try for even more? Something is only impossible until you find a way to do it.”

“Ridiculous.” He felt his own lips stretch and curve up in a smile he couldn’t have imagined having before Emma came into his life. Chevalier lifted her up, gathering her into his arms just to hold her. To feel her pressed close.

“If I were to make such a silly resolution,” he began, “I would aim for the plausible.”

She snuggled against his chest, arms wrapping around his neck. “Oh? What would you recommend, then?”

Chevalier combed his fingers through her hair, mussing the careful updo she’d worn for the party. “A measurable goal. Like waking up beside you every morning.”

Emma sighed. “That would be amazing. But how is that plausible?” She kissed the sensitive spot just under his jawline. “You have duties that take you all over Rhodolite.” She nipped his earlobe, tugging it gently. “I think that resolution is just like mine.”

Her teasing affected him more than he was willing to let on. Though his expression remained cool, he felt heat build in his chest. A fire only Emma could stoke. “Think,” he told her.

“Well . . . you can’t just not go places.” She nibbled at her lower lip, rolling it over in her mind. Then her lips drew into a wide, joyful smile. “Wait! Are you promising to take me with you?”

Chevalier kissed her. Her lips were warm and firm and lively, kissing him back with a fierce passion. Her mouth tasted of the champagne from the party, sweet, with a heat that flowed through him. He kissed her until he felt light headed, and the stars above them seemed to spin.

“That’s a - a yes then?” Her voice trembled, breathless.

“Don’t ask questions you know the answer to.” He brushed a kiss to her forehead, then her cheek, and the spot just beneath her ear. Chevalier felt an irrational urge to just keep kissing her, every inch of her. These quiet moments they spent together were everything.

She was the light that gave color to his heart. Like a blossom brought out of the night and into dawn, showing its scarlet petals. Her love revealed the passion in him.

Emma laughed, her breath tickling his neck. “I love you, you know that?”

“There you go, silly fool. Asking a question you know the answer to.” Chevalier kissed her again.

#ikemen prince #ikepri #ikepri chevalier #chevalier michel #fanfiction #fanfic #otome #otome guys #fluff

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the-spaced-out-ace · 4 months

Note

hi im literally insane. so insane uhhh can you tell me about the good place au. the ted as eleanor on. just when you get a chance!!

Also tagging @awigglycultist and @rbvcdeluxe since y'all expressed interest too

Right. I've played with casting a bit over the past few years but the gist is this: Ted dies, as he is so prone to do, but Tinky thinks up a fun new game he can play with this timeline's Ted (torturing him by making him think he's in Heaven even though he's in the Box/Black and White). So Ted wakes up in an office, gets told by this goat looking office guy he's in The Good Place, and he can spend the rest of eternity in total bliss because he was just that extraordinary.

At first he's thinking "man the bar is low but also i was just that fuckin' cool so I'm not gonna say anything" but the longer he hangs out with sniggles and other Teds that are pretending to be way better than they actually are, mans gonna break and tell someone he doesn't belong.

uhhh this is where the casting gets a bit muddled for me. Linda as Tahani feels like a no-brainer to me, and I always thought it would be a little funny if Paul 23 and Emdroid were Jason and Janet but that's not concrete, it's just silly. The character playing Chidi's whole "helping Ted improve" role changes sometimes. Usually I picture Bill, but lately I've been considering something that would objectively torture Ted more: Jenny.

Anyway, I don't think Tinky would fully redeem himself like Michael does, but he'd still let the humans get rebooted/fight back as part of the game, only to get frustrated when they all actually improve in the new timeline (sidenote: instead of the episode where Eleanor calls out her mom for her shitty childhood and tries to get her to be better to her new stepdaughter, I'm kinda picturing Ted going to visit a freshly graduated and recently moved to college Pete to try to repair any damage he might have caused to their relationship through his sleazeball tendencies in the first timeline).

Webby's the Judge.

I'm so sorry if this is incoherent I've never tried to put any of this into words before but fr this au comes back to me about twice a year and it's kinda exciting to have an ask about it like?? idk doing my best

#team starkid #starkid #hatchetfield #hatchetverse #the good place #tgp #ted spankoffski #asks

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icallhimjoey · 9 months

Note

so apparently there are some rumers, that joe is dating a girl called kate and that they revealed their realiationship at bfi. I mean I dont care who he is dating, as long he is happy, so am I. But where do those rumers come from?? There is literly no information, just those people saying that they are dating and sending hate mails to kate…

okay, FINE, im going to get into this, tell you all i know, and then that can be it for the questions i keep getting about this, because it really is neverending (and insanely annoying to me) so, lets go

kate is a writer/director who works with/for 'film hub north/bfi network/rianne pictures' as stated in her instagram bio, lives up north near newcastle and is gorgeous

at the london film festival this year she has gone to see hoard

she posted a pic to her insta stories of the Q&A after hoard from her seat in the cinema (like so many other fans did too) and said some nice words about luna and she tagged some people

one of the producers reposted the story into their stories which i think is how people "found" her

kate had a pic taken on one of the bfi red carpets (by herself) AND had a pic taken in a large group, one of who was lorn (lauren quinn - no relation - this is not about her, but people draw conclusions about this too)

NOW

just a couple weeks before, joe made a playlist on his spotify account called "Kate's" with two songs in

so, some girls went 1 + 1 = this is a relationship

kate has red hair and is literally stunning, so they're saying "she's his type, must be true"

kate got messages/insta comments asking about it, she posted a story to her insta that said something along the lines of "this is silly please stop this is my professional account i should be able to post what i want without being harassed i have body dysmorphia pls leave me alone"

went private and then public again shortly after

when i say that there's been 0 actual proof that these two people even know each other, i truly mean that there's 0 proof that these two people know each other at all

if we're just looking at the facts: she's a fan

the end

every time people have been trying to link them up, joe's been pictured/filmed to be by himself

couple weeks ago, kate posted stories to her instagram of her being in malta and, presumably, people started asking questions, because she very quickly went private and deleted the insta stories

she went public again shortly after, and the day that joe was pictured doing a lil food shop in his local tesco's, kate posted a mirror selfie in a lift and behind her, there's an arm in the frame - now, imo, not even close enough to touch her bum, but people went BLACK COAT, THAT'S JOE AND HE'S TOUCHING HER ASS

big sigh

what kate is NOT doing is coming out and denying anything, which is a choice

she doesnt have to do shit, she doesnt owe anyone anything, but to hit the snooze button and ignore everything is definitely a choice

in turn, some girls are taking the no-denying as proof of it being real and have made twitter and tiktok accounts and KEEP FUCKING SENDING ME QUESTIONS THAT KEEP PUSHING THIS TO BE THE TRUTH (they are not nice about it either)

i have yet to see any truth to any of these rumours - to me it feels like a lot of stories being pulled from thin air that some girls find extremely entertaining

i do not

i have no interest in this

don't get me wrong - joe'd be lucky to date someone as pretty as kate, she seems lovely, but i am going to need some actual proof before i just go with whatever some people are trying to sell to me as the truth

please do not reach out to me on anon about this

if you have anything you want to discuss with me, please find me in the tumblr chat messages

thanks <3

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wisteriainslumber · 2 years

Text

TWST working at McDonalds

my credentials are i have never worked at mcdonalds

this is crack don’t take it seriously

warnings: swearing and cr*wley

Riddle

absolutely judges you for even coming to order at mcdonalds. there is no nutrition!! all of it is grease and sugar!!

refuses to work drivethru. yelling does nothing for his rage, his violent nature will not be contained

relax, riddle doesn’t have scarlet fever, his face just does that. is it healthy? probably not.

is not the manager but when people ask for the manager they will call for riddle because he can do a better job

(if you hadn’t figured, the manager is cr*wley)

has the most monotone, dead customer service voice

if someone forgets to fill the coins or fails to lock up, you will be put on janitor duty to think about what you’ve done

understandably, it’s very effective

do not let him train the newbies. he thinks telling the instructions once/reading the employee handbook (THAT HE VOLUNTARILY MADE. insane man.) will prepare them.

the reigns of training deuce and ace were then very quickly passed off to someone else

riddle gives emotional support hugs to kalim and cusses out the people who are mean to him with the fury of a thousand suns

if he weren’t so competent, he would’ve been fired

(he wouldn’t have been fired. cr*wley doesn’t want to hire new people)

he’s learning recipes from lilia on their break. after his attempt at soup gave him the flu, he has not tried to learn recipes from lilia since

a bit concerned by the screaming children. he’s never been surrounded by children his age so he thinks the scream-laughter is like a call for help

Trey

when he burns the batches of cookies he feeds them to the workers and tells them its the double chocolate chip cookies

the staff believe him because he’s never really done anything wrong

except for that ungodly amount of spare dental products in their staff washroom

normal people have toilet paper in the cupboard but their staff washroom has toothbrushes, toothpaste, floss, all labeled with everyones names

no one knows who brought them, one day the cupboard was just full, but since trey keeps telling people to brush their teeth after eating the cookies it isnt hard to find out who did it

now because of him, if anyone runs out of toilet paper in the bathroom they need to text a co-worker to hand them another roll

trey finds the strongest types of coffee combinations for silver, but is getting increasingly concerned by the amount of espresso shots getting put into the cup

he will also coordinate group outfits for halloween or gift exchanges during the holidays

during the spooky season, you will find a free toothbrush in your bag or happy meal box

just... don’t ask

it was either that or licorice because trey clover is a black licorice enjoyer

Cater

makes promotional tiktok videos during his shift

specifically a “come with me to work ^^” videos where he films some things that can definitely get them in trouble. the words “health code violation” makes up 40% of the comments

hogs the stall bathrooms to break down and cry and send crying streaks to malleus

malleus hasnt learned how to use the app (yet) so cater has been treating their dms like his personal diary

he leaves sticky notes on the bathroom mirrors, lockers, and on the inside of the drivethru window saying some live laugh love kinda shit to mock trey’s white mom home decor

rook scribbles his own little stick figures of trey on them and adds speech bubbles

ace gives him the idea of summoning a demon at work and cater hopped on that without hesitation now there is a pentagram made of silly string on the wall of the bathroom

when taking orders he puts any additional notes in all caps. now deuce is staring at the order with the notes “NO DAIRY OR SHE WILL BLOW UP OUR TOILET” and “IF ACE FORGETS THE SAUCE AGAIN IM MAKING HIM CLEAN THE PLAYPLACE”

because of everyone’s incompetency, the receipt will contain these notes. sorry martha

when the manager had arrived to evaluate them, you will not find a single cater in sight

cay cay is slay slaying in hiding

Ace

hes the guy you should blame for never getting your dipping sauce or missing part of your order

he does trick shots in the back and if it lands in the bag, you get your stuff, if it doesn’t, rip

“i’m sorry you want how many chicken nuggies?? 200?? okay, word. wish i could spend that much on chicken nuggies”

will return bitch energy in the drivethru

he absolutely plays a game with deuce over if the person in the mic sounds hot or not

cater started that game, then he was kicked out for flirting with the customers

fortunately for the customers and staff alike, ace does not flirt with the customers

when someone asks for the manager he’ll walk away, then come back and speaks in a different voice and accent and cusses them out

kicked off from doing drivethru after he played cupcakke songs on there

he was raving over those minion happy meals and loved those banana cookies

it was a mistake to ask ace to do card tricks on their break because the items they gave up for the trick have disappeared

so sorry idia, your limited edition trading card will not be in safe hands

bribes the children with the happy meal toys for them to start calling riddle ronald mcdonald

riddle has no proof it’s ace’s doing but He Knows.

Deuce

he wanted to raise money to send back to his mama

how much money hes actually raising through this job though? is not a lot

brews riddle tea every morning just the way he likes it and he gets a premium riddle smile in return

takes so much time to count coins pls be patient with him

don’t tell azul, but if you’re nice, he will not charge you for any extra sauce or toppings

he “doesn’t know where the button is” wink wink

the only one who likes the easter egg mcflurries. when jack has free time, he will make one for himself and deuce and they chill on his break

(deuce doesn’t tell jack he’s still on the clock, and jack doesn’t tell deuce that he prefers oreo mcflurries more)

once got into a fight with ace over whether fish fillets were good or not and deuce threw a ketchup bottle hard enough to knock ace out cold

he apologized profusely but all ace cared about was how to throw like deuce. (he’s got some grudges and yes deuce received a ketchup bottle to his head)

in the back, you’ll find the rookies playing with that seasons happy meal toys joyfully

deuce defends the happy meal books with his life even though none of his friends agree

its okay deuce they’re just jealous they can’t read /j

Leona

cheka filled in the mcdonalds application for leona after seeing the happy meal toys

he thinks working at mcdonalds would cheer up his unca

it does not

leona would really prefer if you just ordered at the kiosks

works drivethru and terrorizes everyone there

“can i get a umm..” “im sorry we don’t sell ‘umms’ we also don’t sell to people who cant speak properly”

dreads when he sees a group of teenagers in line. they have the most balls and he can only be recognized as the “prince working at mcdonalds” so many times before he starts throwing hands

refuses to wear the uniform properly. comes in with the most patterned ass fucking shirts. im talking leopard print, stripes, polka dots, pineapples. he’s an uncle and he dresses like one. see exhibit a

if it wasn’t a safety hazard he would also wear those uncle slippers so he can slip them off and hit malleus with them. this is the 4th time the ice cream machine is broken and cheka wants a mcflurry.

the slippers are also for his dogs to scare off judgy karens RUFF RUFF ARF BARK WOOF

stopped passing his work off to other people after vil tried to shave him bald. he shudders from the memory of the buzzing razor

Ruggie

he steals a fry before putting it in your bag

obsessively counting his earnings and will notice if he is getting paid less

makes him a very efficient cashier. if you give him strictly coins he will curse you on the inside but he’s quick to organize them all and give you the change

he also does not make you feel awkward when you’re taking longer to pay. there’s nothing to apologize for, go take ur time. helping leona has built up a looooot of patience in this guy

goes outside for his breaks, picks dandelions and makes wishes to PLEASE GET A PAY RAISE.

he wants to gtfo of this job he lives too far away from his grandma

some kid wanted their birthday at mcdonalds and ruggie personally went out to get lots of decorations for their special day

the place was filled with balloons and streamers and ruggie got floyd to dress like a clown to entertain the kids

the staff fr thought ruggie was taking revenge on them bc everyone was BEGGING to be the clown in fear of floyd being placed with the kids

ruggie knows floyd is great with kids but pretended he was the worst option for the Drama™

also because floyd bribed him with a wendy’s combo to do so. they both went to wendy’s after

he IS the christian autumn girl you WILL find him wearing infinity scarves and cardigans and uggs on the first day of september brandishing a PSL he bought with the card he stole from leona

when the staff had gotten enough of cr*wleys antics, lilia takes his car for a joy ride and treats everyone to the fountain soda. sorry, we kinda on a budget here

(ruggie pats his pocket in pride, cr*wleys credit card snug in place)

Jack

very devoted worker

believes that even if he hates his job, he can still be good at it

panics when a karen asks him why the ice cream machine isnt working but what kind of logical explanation can you give someone who won’t listen?

asks riddle to take care of it

yes those are his real ears no you may not touch them

sick and tired of hearing the jacob from twilight comparisons

jack thinks hes accumulated at least 3 mental illnesses from working here and it’s only been a few months

he’s put in the back to prepare orders instead of interacting with people which he appreciates very much. he’s kinda awkward, and people ask questions that make him uncomfortable

gets the orders out in record time. he wants them done and gone with

when vil is having another one of his meltdowns, they send jack to calm him down

the staff think jack have this magical healing power but really he just pat pats vil on the back and gives him some lemon water.

they go out for walks if they have time and take pictures of nature and vil tells him about the plants

A+ therapy buddy, now vil needs a therapy buddy for his therapy buddy

Azul

after his plan on leaving the job failed he has a new goal: overthrow the company

even in minimal wage misery, azul will find a way to come out on top

he already is holding something over cr*wley in nrc, he will hold something over the bird man again to get a higher salary

he makes the bird raise all of their salaries actually, because he’s very generous

as thanks for his effort, he takes 2% of their earnings and no one puts up much of a fight because any salary increase in this job will do

azul may have started a revolution but he is not our comrade </3

he does not take breaks. its the sigma male grindset forever. until he’s forcibly dragged away from his coffee and his new menu additions

mans the cashier and refuses to give up his spot. customers either love him or hate him

he is constantly trying to get people to buy more food and he’s terribly good at convincing them

customers don’t know they pulled out their wallet until they already paid

he practices his charisma in the bathroom mirror. he has cue cards, and they all dictate his persona to the smallest detail.

riddle walks in just needing to pee and sees azul pulling out the shittest posh accent and language and is way too tired to care. but azul does get some tips and he walks out a little more confident

Jade

wouldve worked longer as the janitor if the washrooms werent so fucking disgusting

hey, you get to hear lots of stuff when you’re cleaning the place

most people do not acknowledge the janitor, so information gets tossed around without a care

helps kids fill their cups at the drink station, helps them put on the drink lids properly too

helps azul make bots to give this mcdonalds good reviews, specifically mentioning their names and how helpful they are <3 listen, a bitch is desperate

in case someone is getting really annoying, jade reminds everyone that the bleach is in the bottom of the supply closet

to threaten? to drink? to poison? no one knows and jade likes being cryptic

teams up with lilia to make new menu suggestions. they aim to make one recipe that finally gets the OK

hey, mushroom oatmeal is a good idea! don’t kick it till you try it!

floyd got fed up once jade snuck mushrooms in his burger as revenge so they started a fight over the tables

there was hair pulling, shouting, biting, and a chair was thrown

apparently this is one of the tamer fights?? the only children are horrified

they’re lucky it was late because they got into big trouble with manager riddle

“big trouble” lasted about 5 minutes because floyd kept repeating “why”. with riddle’s attention on floyd, jade snuck out

thank you for your sacrifice

Floyd

the only reason hes not doing food prep jobs is to hide the fact that hes playing in the playplace

when his coworkers try to look for him he slithers in and hides in the tubes

when asked to look for a floyd, the kids cant point him out because he never tells them his name

is absolutely the ronald mcdonald mascot. he shows up in costume when he feels like it and it’s like watching the strangest joker sequel ever

does shitty magic tricks and turns off all the lights to entertain the children. staff hate him.

once the radio stopped working so floyd brought it upon himself to bring a few hula hoops and starting hula hooping while walking and singing lady gaga

he brings in random shit to do trick shots and he moves around via hoverboard/skates at all times

he has an old lysol container he uses as his water bottle. to this day, floyd has managed to convince ace that drinking lysol will make you immortal

kicked off of the register because he will not shut his mouth. please stop hitting on customers and please stop calling people snowflakes, no matter how much they deserved it

he’s good at preparing drivethru orders even though he’s playing on his phone most of the time

(he’s texting kalim. all of them run like 3AM thoughts or shower thoughts)

Kalim

his union birthday card makes him look like a mcdonalds worker

don’t let him work in the drive thru he shouts

always hands you your food with “have a great day!”

if you are the most awful person and complain about kalim he responds with a hearty “aw shucks, sorry ‘bout that”. and while he bounces back quickly, how dare you.

he is the one that breaks the ice cream machine all the time

he Does Not Know how to operate it yet he is always the one there when someone needs ice cream

he brought sprinkles one time for the impromptu staff ice cream party he declared, but now customers think sprinkles are on the menu

he doesn’t have the heart to say they aren’t on the menu, so he personally buys sprinkles for this specific location

goes all out during parties. he will bring in a cotton candy maker and popcorn poppers and holiday treat bags

kalim drowning in riches, why is he here??

cater complained he was lonely, so kalim joined him.

they‘re always blasting the latest tunes in the back and treating tasks like a suggestion

but how can you get angry at the big, beaming smile on kalims face?

Jamil

the most efficient worker

hes so calm. hes used to stupid people.

uses his internal monologue to stay sane.

he looks aloof on the outside but he is actually screaming on the inside. everything is on fire. the floor is lava and there are no platforms.

highkey just complies to the crazy demands these bitches make because he has no energy nor mental capacity to try to reason with these people

however, he remembers every single face and name and it is going into his personalized death note

he’s on volume nine now

before jade and lilia propose their ideas to azul, they have to run it by jamil first. and jamil deems all their ideas as a one way ticket to a poison control centre

because none of them are reliable, jamil writes the numbers and names of emergency services on sticky notes and slaps them everywhere beside caters stickies

theres numbers for helplines, poison control, pest control, and electrical maintenance

leona used one of them to write down contact information for a hitman (it is rook’s number)

jamil uses that number to call for help. it is life threatening matter (it was a cockroach)

jamil nearly whacks azul with a broom for being in the storage supply

azul hid there because alas, it is a small world and his bullies in grade school are now his customers

jamil, being a decent human being, chooses not to spritz him with rubbing alcohol and gives him some awkward reassurance

unfortunately, it works, and now jamil is azul’s emotional support human and the staff send him to find azul every time

jamil is getting an aneurysm

Vil

where vil wouldve ended up had he actually murdered neige

if a customer asks whats in their food he will give you a whole essay on where it came from, how it got transported, how its prepped, made, seasoned, and the nutritional value

he’s never felt greasier in his life. he’s gone through all of his oil blotting papers on the first week. what the hell is in the air

his makeup looks immaculate every day, its to cover up the look of “i just got my life sucked out” as soon as he clocked in

the radio doesn’t actually break. vil just mutes it whenever neige is starring in a new movie because that is all the radios will talk about.

speaking of neige, if he and his little dwarves come in, vil will tell them he’s having a wonderful time and that this job is good for experience

if he had fewer morals he would be putting rat poison in cr*wleys morning coffee

he excuses himself to go in the storage closet and scream. epel joins him and it’s their biweekly bonding activity

very patient with the children and talks to them with an air of grace. he accepts suggestions for the types of movies they want to see him in

quarrels with leona daily. he gets called ugly, then vil’s heel will meet his toes. vil may be dignified but that doesn’t make him any less petty

sadly for leona, cheka loves vil and will tell his unca to be nicer to the pretty man

vils “yeah leona, be nice” earns him a very mature middle finger from leona

will refuse to even give this establishment clout. has their company account blocked.

after fans see vil on caters vlogs, vil changes the password to the company account so no one can post on it again.

his true villain arc

Rook

he used to work as the janitor because he was immaculate at cleaning but the staff put him on register instead

he’s very good at appeasing people

if a customer asks whats in the bigmac he will give you a whole thesaurus but will not actually tell you whats in it or where its from

he will compliment everyone that walks up to his register. in fact, even if he didn’t speak to you, he will yell across the room and say your skin looks radiant today

his compliments are not normal, they range from “your teeth are so straight” to “you smell different...oh, you must’ve went to the walmart down the street!”

after enough complaints, vil gives rook a stern talk

it works, but now theres a new problem arising

he’s been collecting leonas hair

it wasn’t “serious” enough of a problem to take action, but leona is preparing a restraining order

helps train the newbies the most. epel and ortho love him, which means the entire group has to

ortho follows him around asking him random questions every day because he thinks rooks answers are unconventional. he’s collecting data to help idia make friends!

Epel

all of his spare shipment of apples actually go to mcdonalds

since cr*wley doesn’t want to pay for apples he finds this the cheaper option and gives epel a slight payraise for it

epel sends the money to his mama

azul is Very Jealous.

do NOT let epel man the register he WILL throw hands.

even with his pronoun pin, bitches will still use the wrong pronouns and he Will Get Physical!

stop asking him for his number, he will cuss you out and insult your breath

also keeps tabs on these customers and writes them down on their clipboard. sebek is in on this and will very Loudly cuss out these people if they harrass epel again

he has been reported to the manager at least once a week but he can’t get fired bc cr*wley needs those applys

congrats epel, you got privilege

teams up with ace to prank the staff. they replace the coffee machine with coke cola and move everyones belongings in the wrong lockers

he brings scented candles into the washrooms, vil brings the lighter. they accidentally trigger the fire alarm but they sit there calmly staring at the candle wick

gets swarmed during the holidays because he has to help azul write down recipes (absolutely not the family recipes. those are secret) for the seasons.

because of this he spends lots of time with azul and learns a lot about him. now azul has 2 emotional support humans

makes emotional support apple cider for azul. favouritism acquired!

Idia

is banging the door to the bathroom cater is hogging and cater lets him in they lock the door and cry together

when a customer throws down a bunch of coins idia debates jumping off a building

why the hell does this customer want mcdonalds to do the catering to their party

he IS the one silently judging everyone but he thinks everyone is silently judging him too

kids love to point at his hair and ask to touch it

please do not touch his hair. few people ever get close enough to touch him. idia will break down

they want 100 hashbrowns? damn bitch who is you feeding? idia cant fathom someone having that many friends

he quits being the cashier and decides to work as a janitor instead. at least no one will look or talk to him

he enjoys being the janitor but he soon finds out that people are heckin nasty. the messes he cleans up are ones he never thought would come from grown ass adults

once a kid dropped her toy and idia (after cursing his life and gathering all his courage) picked it up for her, and the little girl loved his hair so much. now he has the nickname of “flame princess” from adventure time

pulling for his favourite characters on his break as lilia makes summoning rituals for them

they work, so now lilia is invited to every kind of gacha pull idia does. he boosts the SSR rates up 10%!

Ortho

declining cards of people who laugh at idia for stuttering

he finds their cars, their addresses, their jobs, everything about these people. they’re prepared just in case idia wants them :)

ortho encourages rook to fly a arrow through their car windows

they have a swear jar and ortho funds it the most

absolutely steals some of the happy meal toys for himself and idia to play with

bonding with street cats and people of all ages

people think ortho is a walking ad for mcdonalds bc he invites them to visit his workplace, but he’s conducting exposure therapy for idia. these are friends you havent met yet!

technically he is under apprenticeship training but poses as an employee to get money

he wants the new PS5 👉👈

whenever vils new movies comes out, ortho prepares an entire fan review to discuss with vil. he’s his biggest fan!

vil takes the feedback and gives ortho candy as thanks for his support

ortho is the staff favourite and he even gets extra tips because of his cute face

gets convinced to give azul a dollar for every board game he plays with idia

Malleus

lilia told him this was summer camp

lurks around, says hi to people. wants to befriend idia but idia thinks mal is messing with him

one of the few who get to hear riddle bitching about his job. he doesn’t really understand, but is a good listener

will ask cater how to work the social medias and cater makes mal swear to not open his magisnap

malleus doesn’t even know what that is and apologized to cater for opening up his magicam page </3

sebek fr breathing down his neck and the only place to hide from him is in the bathroom

he finds cater and idia there crying in the corner and he joins them to fit in

they are now an unofficial group of social outcasts and they occasionally meet up to play pokemon (mal watches)

he’s in charge of refilling the ice but he just??? disappears from his shift midway??? and now theres no ice bc they’re too busy cleaning up the fucking silly string in the bathroom

people avoid him so he just does work in the back

and by work in the back i mean he’s terrorizing leona while he’s terrorizing the customers

he’s stuck on tray washing duty bc it is too dangerous for him to do anything else

he is very unsafe near the hot oil, he practices no safety procedures near the hot steam and water.

maybe it’s best to put him on ice cream machine duty... it’s always broken anyways

Lilia

hes experienced so many things in his long long life but he hasnt experienced customer service before

prefers this over being in the military actually

kids love to point out the little bat ears on his head

decorated the place for halloween one year but then it was transferred to azul because the skeletons hanging from the ceiling were scaring the children and the (fake..??) blood in the back was scaring the staff

do not be frightened by watching him drink ketchup in the back, he just Does That

babies literally everyone and everyone (reluctantly) calls him dad as revenge

it was weird at first but now lilia is asserting his new dad status and performing the most bass boosted, earth shattering sneezes known to man

on one of his dad status days, lilia goes “relax my sons, i am only fucking one of your mothers.”

silver doesn’t even know his mother but he dies a little anyways

if given a burger, he picks out the tomatoes and pickles and eats them. jamil is kind of horrified

he keeps making new suggestions to the menu but after the third rejection of turkey-tomato-cookie sandwiches, he cooks all the employees lunch every month to show off his spectacular culinary skill

the next staff meeting, they tell lilia to stop limiting his cooking to just them, as it should be “shared to the world on the secret menu”

Silver

was also signed up for ‘summer camp’

naps on the clock but is an excellent worker for the night shift

yeah this might have been his seventh cup of coffee today and yeah maybe that’s concerning but dw it’s nothing a few bathroom breaks can’t fix

riddle is staring in horror

very chill, never sounds stressed, and gets everything out at a reasonable time

only thing to complain about is that he gives an ungodly amount of napkins for no reason

the environment is dying singlehandedly because of silver giving you six napkins for a single ice cream cone

sings to himself to keep himself awake and it soothes the staff so much

on the less busy hours of the night shift, silver tutors deuce on science

as thanks, deuce offers to take silver to a build-a-bear

they get matching bunnies they both respectfully name “max” & “ruby”

silver and ruggie have a wordless agreement to cover each others shifts when the other is busy

they don’t hang out outside of work but they are ride or die on the clock

lilia is a Proud Father

Sebek

when he answered the why do you want to work here question he truly meant every word of “because i care about the company and its values” with his whole chest

was transferred to work drivethru because he was angering the customers but now he’s blowing up the speakers

if you ever wonder why your burger is so flat it’s because sebek uses so much force when wrapping it you’d think he was personally insulted by the burger itself

too much energy. he will always forget your ketchup and sauce packets bc he is speedrunning all of your orders

straight up locks the doors in front of your face and glares at you for trying to come in at 8AM on a monday

loudly chatting with trey about the importance of brushing your teeth because trey is the only one that will talk to him /j

sebeks too loud so any kind of secret or gossip cant be shared with him

leona absolutely hates being in his presence but will spread rumours about rook stealing dna to make voodoo dolls to sebek so everyone’s eyes will be on rook

now leona has free bodyguards

he is the only person to order off of lilias “secret menu” to see him happy

sebeks life expectancy rate is declining by the day

Tagging the skrunklies!! Thank you for your excitement :D

@spadecentral @ruggiethethuggie @mellyteddy @theheavilyindulgentgoat

464 notes · View notes

shuniverse · 1 year

Note

AHHHHHHHH THE FELIX ONE IM IN LOOVEE THANKSSSS

Btw, if im not stressing you out lolol😭, heres another req

:D!

can u do Bangchan university au friends to lovers typa thing where chan flirts with her as a joke but the reader flirts harder and my boy gets so blushy and shy😭😭😭 and in the end it just ends up in a messy giggly confession lmfao

(ngl im just a big simp for Chan's juicy plump lips like bro i just wanna kizz him after i fool him with my ultimate rizz and flirting skills😔)

Some picture ref for uuu :)

silly college kids in love ,, b.c

🧷 no no ur not stressing me out! lol I’m just busy, sorry this got out kinda of late! also yesss I love Channie’s lipssss ahshwhdhsjj, he’s so gorgeous. ty for the request!

🎐 f!reader ;; fluffy stuffs ;; reader is transfixed by Chan’s lips lol ;; some kisses at the end ;; I’m kinda bad at writing flirty stuff so pls bare with me ;; also I did make a reference to that one part of a live where Chan calls himself daddy lmao ;;

;;

You and Chan are sitting in your dorm room, you on your bed resting against your pillow, him sitting on your roll-y chair, leaning over the back of it, facing you with his legs on either side of the back.

Just making small talk, you’re both just comfortable together whether it’s talking or just silence, so you like to have a mix of it.

While he’s talking, you subconsciously stare at his lips, the fullness and the way they look while he talks transfixes you. So much so, you don’t even fully register when Chan speaks up.

“You okay, there?”

You flush a bit. “Yeah! Sorry-“

He giggles. “Nah, it’s all good.” He grins, getting an idea. “Were you captivated babygirl?”

He’s joking, of course, which is why he’s giggling, figuring you’re going to giggle as well.

But in reality, your eyes widen, face flushing. “What- what did you call me?”

He giggles again. “Baby girl?”

You narrow your eyes, then grin, getting an idea. “If I’m you’re baby girl, you must be my.. daddy.”

This time he flushes, more than you did, babbling and stuttering over his words, trying to think up a response. He runs a pretty, veiny hand through his dark curly hair, and you giggle.

You suddenly feel a bit flustered just at what you said, and you’re both there giggling like little kids, just not knowing what to do with his hands.

He looks at you, a faint blush still painting his pretty face. “So.. uh..”

You giggle, smiling. “Yes, Channie?”

“I uhm-“ he bursts into more embarrassed giggles, and he gets up to come sit by you on your bed. You giggle in return, and out of just a random rush of confidence, you lean over to press a little kiss to his plush lips. He blushes more, his cheeks a pretty rosy shade.

“I do too, Channie.”

He’s a bit confused, he hadn’t even said anything, yet you somehow read his mind, much less kissed him. Poor boy doesn’t know what to say, so you giggle for the millionth time and sit yourself comfortably on his lap.

“I-“

“Shh, shh, Channie it’s okay.” You boop him. “No need for words.”

He giggles again, shaking his head, his brown curls shaking with it. You run your hands up and down his arms, covered by the soft fabric of his black hoodie. You look into his eyes, the faint dark makeup still there, and he’s smiling at you, those pretty lips of his quirked up into a smile.

You can’t help yourself, you lean down to kiss him again. This time, it’s not quick, and he’s happy, albeit still a bit flustered, to kiss back, gently cupping your face with his big hands.

You pull away after a bit and giggle. “Cutie.”

He flushes again, sighing. “You’re the cute one, baby girl.”

You laugh. “Is that what you’re calling me now?”

He laughs too. “Yup, unless you don’t want me to?”

You shake your head, smiling. “No, no Channie, it’s cute, I like it.”

He smiles. “Alrighty baby girl.”

You laugh again, leaning down to cuddle him, and he’s eager and quick to reciprocate, comfortable in your added warmth.

;;

hope you enjoyed! I love Channie so much this made me happy to write, even though it was rushed, lol.

feel free to like/reblog, it’s greatly appreciated!

#skz imagines #skz fluff #bang chan imagines #bang chan drabbles #chan x reader #chan x reader fluff #bang chan fluff #bang chan x reader fluff

153 notes · View notes

nashusglasses · 1 year

Text

it's always a surprise when the tide comes in

note: this is a writing exercise for exposition. I hate hate HATEEEEE writing it!! it makes my skin crawl i just want everything to happen at once!!!! -_- anywho. this story is the background story of this drabble

i love the idea of gojo in an office setting bc he’s already so silly like that would be a 10 times silly buff. Also the thought of him and yuuji having deep conversations about pop culture scratches a very good itch in my heart :3

note 2: this is literally yuuji n gojo in this au im going to HURL !!!

PAIRING. gojo/reader SETTING. work husband au (or, "you keep being suggestive in front of all our coworkers to the point where everyone knows we're not dating but we COULD be and it's silly so I'll go along with it!!!! ...wait why are you asking me out on an actual date?" au) WARNINGS. twilight references. shitting as a threat. hime n gojo hating each other bc they both love oc =3= SUMMARY. He’s a liar, but only for good reason. WORD COUNT. 2.5k

Someone is going to die today.

You’d been so diligent in choosing your hiding spot in the break room fridge. Your one yogurt cup—the one with the strawberry bits swirled in the vanilla—sitting behind the giant bottle of mustard at the bottom of the fridge door shelf. Gone. You try in vain to scour for your snack, but there’s nothing else save for labeled Tupperware and three quarters of a cake from Mei Mei’s birthday celebration yesterday.

The list of culprits shouldn’t be that long, anyway.

First: Nanami. He wouldn’t. Your boss is built on black coffee and the occasional vegan bao from the restaurant across the street. You’ve never seen him eat anything else.

Utahime, the freak owner of the mustard bottle because she eats it with her pretzels, is lactose-intolerant. There’s no way she’s risking an explosive gut when she’s always busy at reception.

Nobara’s too new to the office to try inciting violence against her seniors. You’d probably let her off the hook, regardless—she’s too hardworking to stay mad at.

You’d brood more over The Case of Your Missing Yogurt, but Satoru’s loud talking at the lunch table cuts right through your ruminations.

“—like I know it’s personal preference, but I think it’s so lazy,” he grumbles. “My uncle: Hiro. His son? Hiro, junior. God. Corny people piss me off.”

“Right.” Yuuji, the other new junior associate, hangs off Satoru’s every word. “It’s kind of like Bella from Twilight.”

Satoru slaps the table with passion. Yuuji hastily clings to his cup of coffee from spilling over. “Exactly, Yuuji. Exactly! You named your kid not only after the dad but also your ex who wasn’t even your ex?! The combination didn’t even sound good.”

“Edward Jacob,” Yuuji recalls.

“Disgusting.” Satoru shivers. “I don’t—Jesus. Don’t let me think about that. It’s so vile.”

You close the fridge door, trek a sad path to the chair next to Satoru. Yuuji gives you a quick smile. You decide to scheme your murder plan later, because now you just want to pinch Yuuji’s cheeks off—your juniors are so cute! “Hello,” he greets politely.

Satoru sneaks an arm around your shoulders, resting it on the back of the chair. “What’s up with you?”

Is your sadness that obvious? God, you were waiting for that yogurt all morning.

“I’ll tell you later,” you say, because you might start languishing if you think one more second about your lost snack. “Hi, Yuuji. What were you guys saying about naming babies?”

Satoru huffs. “I hate parents who name their kids stupid names.”

(Yuuji takes a sip of coffee.)

“You wouldn’t do that with our kids, right?” Satoru asks you next.

(Yuuji, promptly, chokes on his coffee.)

“Absolutely not,” you answer, just as nonchalant.

“Hek.” Yuuji dissolves into five seconds of hard coughing. “You—you two are married?”

“Nope,” you both chirp at the same time.

The poor boy just stares, coffee blushing on his shirt. “Ah,” he says. “I see.”

Satoru shrugs. “Don’t get me wrong. I’d have babies with her. But she makes my coffee wrong every time I ask for it. I don’t think I could share my bank account with someone like that.”

Yuuji looks at you for a response. You reach over to pat his hand. “Don’t listen to him. You just keep working hard. And don’t tell Nanami that we gossip too much.”

“Right. I guess—well.” Yuuji stammers. “Does..? Am I? Is this… a secret?”

He sticks a hesitant finger up, pointing it at you, then at Satoru. Satoru wiggles a finger right back.

“Whatever Utahime tells you is wrong,” Satoru says, and Yuuji stares at him like he’s waiting for an explanation, but all Satoru does is wave him off. “Lunch is done.”

“Oh. Right.” Yuuji stands up, bows quickly, then remembers his mug. He runs to the sink to drop it off, then says, “I’ll–I’ll be careful around Utahime!”

He doesn’t wait for a response; he scampers out the room like he’s got a secret to share.

Satoru’s always been lax with new hires—you wouldn’t be surprised if he’d explained his entire life story to Yuuji in the last hour. But his ongoing charade of touting you as his much-more-than-coworker co-worker is the oldest secret of Office Drama there is.

Utahime, your best and first co-worker friend who worked in the same room with you as clerks. Satoru, whose first day was the last day of your probation period, booted her out of the office because she got the full-time reception position she applied for. He proved himself a competent coworker. Steadfast in work ethic, a little too up the ass about gelling his hair properly in the morning. Had to look good to do good, he claimed.

Utahime’s been out for his ass ever since, complaining that he was using his good looks to steal you away from her. Satoru took the bait right away. Made it his mission everyday to make Utahime green with explosive jealousy for having taken her rightful spot as your Worker Bestie for the Resties.

It started with the little gestures. A gentle hand on your lower back when you passed by reception (Utahime, who zeroed in on the touch from her desk, scoffing loudly). Complimenting your outfit choice of the day (“I think she’s beautiful everyday!”). Making you laugh with his stupid Arnold Schwarzenegger impressions (she hated this the most; she said he sounded like an ugly troll).

“That’s the love of my life you cad!” Utahime bellowed, once, when Satoru trailed after you from the elevator one morning. Nanami said she had to stop playing sad Drake songs every morning when you passed by her desk because the melancholy brought the office morale down.

“You know I take good care of her,” Satoru called back. “And nobody says cad anymore, harlot!”

(They insulted each other for two more minutes using outdated expletives. After Nanami came to intervene, you gave him five bucks for his vegan bao to calm him down.)

You don’t really know when Satoru’s attempts to establish workplace dominance turned into straight-up flirting, though. Utahime didn’t need to be around anymore for him to butter you up. He’d leave little sticky notes he left on your monitor to remind you about deadlines, the next fire drill, drawing those little hearts at the ends of his sentences. The hand on your back turning into an arm draped on your shoulder.

You told Utahime about it when Satoru took a sick day. She was livid. Then, immediately, she started tearing up.

“So I’m demoted from Bestie for the Resties and he’s trying to get into your pants?!” She moaned, sliding dramatically down her chair in the lunch room. “I’m going to pass away right now.”

“It’s not like he’s being serious,” you contended.

Utahime gave you a hard look. “Please don’t tell me you actually believe that.”

You looked at her blankly. Wholly unfazed, because you really did believe Satoru had no other motive. He was just your stupid coworker–who sat across from you and did nice things and said nice stuff and you were pretty sure the older lady from accounting had a crush on him, anyway.

“It’s nothing,” you decided, and Utahime shook her head, scoffing.

“Look. That garbage can’s been going after you since day one. You may not see it, but I have eyes, my pumpy-wumpkin bugaboo.” She tapped your nose. “You owe me twenty when you see I’m right.”

And that was all she had to say about it.

If anything, you figure it’s better for Yuuji to learn right from the source than be wrongfully convinced by Utahime that Satoru was a piece of shit homewrecker who lived to piss her off. Regardless of whatever lie is being fed to the junior staffers, there is one universal truth: you are the crowned jewel of this office floor, and that means everyone’s being lit on fire till you find the person who stole your fucking yogurt.

The second the door closes behind Yuuji, you glare daggers at Satoru. He still has his arm around you.

“I might kill you,” you start.

“You say that everyday.” Satoru grins. “Don’t tell me the thought of having my babies scares you that much.”

Steam might actually blow out of your ears. “That’s not—stop trying to confuse me! My yogurt! It’s gone from the fridge!”

Satoru stares at you. Then his face morphs into a mix of shock and disbelief, and he screeches: “Are you saying I took it?!”

You sag in your seat, give him a look that tells him he should just confess before you find the closest sharp thing in this room. He just levels your stare with the same offended look, and you give in first because you don’t have time to argue anymore. Lunch really is over.

“Fine,” you sneer. “But if I find anything incriminating I will crucify you.”

Satoru fakes a shiver. “Ooh. Threaten me again. I can take it.”

He screams when you pinch the sensitive spot just below his armpit.

Right when the clock hits 4:59, Satoru hauls himself up from his seat.

“Meet me outside. I’m getting my stuff then ripping ass in the bathroom,” Satoru tells you.

You snort. “Which one?”

“The one closest to the elevators.” In other words, right next to reception where Utahime is closing right now. Satoru is nothing if not calculating in his efforts to vex that poor woman. “See you.”

At this point in the day, the despair of losing your yogurt has simmered down to lazy indifference. You’ll just have to interrogate everyone tomorrow. Maybe print out a missing yogurt paper to stick on the fridge with no reward but your sincere gratitude and the promise to stick out for their missing lunch, should the same depravity befall them too.

You turn your monitor off, make sure your desk is neat. Swiping off any crumbs from Satoru’s desk because he snuck in a sandwich today after forgetting to eat when he was talking to Yuuji.

And then you see it.

The silver shine of ripped plastic in the trash.

At first, you’re skeptical. You’re too tired to spark another match of anger. But surely enough, when you hunch over to look, an empty can of yogurt sits innocent, perfect. All your strawberry vanilla goodness wiped clean.

You think of all the spectacular ways you could beat the shit out of Satoru, because he didn’t only lie; he thought you were stupid enough not to see the evidence right across from you. He could have at least thrown it into Mei Mei’s trash. Snuck it into Yuuji’s bag when he wasn’t looking. If there’s one thing you hate, it’s being underestimated.

So when you meet Satoru outside the elevators, the first thing you say is:

“You’re a giant fucking oaf and I want you to stay exactly one metre away from me till we get to our cars.”

He always parks his car next to yours.

“O-kay.” He puts his hands up in surrender, maintaining his distance. “Actually, that’s a good thing. My ass. It’s weeping. Ow.”

You quickly realize that this is the best course of action you could have taken, because you know the one thing Satoru hates, and it’s being ignored.

And you do it well.

“Your hair looks pretty today,” he says when you step out into the garage.

“I like the jeans you picked out,” he notes when you walk ahead without him.

“I’m going to crash my car into the first pole I see,” he whines the second you reach your car, and he traps you against the door with a hand pressed above the window. Distant enough to keep you comfortable, but you still feel more warmth than you’ve ever felt from him before. Like those slow burn romances where the lead slyly flirts with the pretty girl he’s been chasing for two seasons, except you’re one second away from kneeing his balls into painful oblivion. “Why are you being mean?”

You cross your arms. “Because you lied.”

“About?”

“You know what about!”

He clicks his tongue. Then his eyebrows lift in realization. “Ah.”

You wait for him to continue. Maybe you’d ask him to go down on his knees, get those nice linen pants dirty with grime and dust just to gloat about his passion for you and only you. You’ll partake in his drama for the sake of an inflated ego. But all he does is smile, and he’s got a handsome face, and for some reason, you’ve got nothing for rebuttal.

“So I have a confession to make,” he starts.

You nod.

“I did eat your yogurt. Don’t say anything yet!” Satoru interrupts your open mouth. “I just. I didn’t think you’d be too upset.”

“Hm,” you concede. “Go on.”

“I’ll make it up to you.”

This is too easy. You feel like an ant trapped in a glass jar. You’re used to the bickering, the roundabout conversation because somehow, he always makes you laugh. Your conversations are never serious.

But this. This feels serious.

“How?” You ask, gut heavy with dread, anticipation.

“I’ll take you out for lunch,” he suggests, and you wait a heartbeat for him to tack on a sike, I’m broke, but he almost looks nervous. Like he wants so badly for you to understand something he knows so well.

“It–um. Like… tomorrow we go across the street and get those baos Nanami loves so much?”

You’re stalling. Satoru laughs. You think you’re starting to like the way he looms over you like this.

“Like on the weekend, I pick you up, and we both look pretty, and you say you’re paying but then I slap your hand away from your card, and I pay because I need to give you a good impression,” he rambles.

“You don’t need to give me a good impression.” You’re almost breathless. “You–you…”

Satoru tilts his head, and it’s annoyingly charming. “Me?”

“I thought–I thought we–this is just–it’s you and me?” You stumble. He watches you shift your feet. Takes his hand off your car, uncrosses your arms with a tug on your wrist. You think he’s about to hold your hand, but he pulls away at the last second.

“It’s always been you and me,” he repeats. Then scratches the back of his head because you think he’s floundering, too. “Just not for everyone else this time.”

You think you might genuinely explode. All your synapses stretch to the absolute limit, you’re almost convinced you’ll bleed from your ears. “You’re being serious.”

He nods. There’s zero indication that he understands the gravity of the situation. But it’s quiet in this garage. You hear it then, the tapping his shoe makes when he’s impatient.

“When–when you told Yuuji about sharing bank accounts,” you continue.

“Okay I’m not in that deep,” Satoru defends. “Well. Who knows. Maybe I could be.”

You shove his shoulder. “You can’t just say that!”

“You’re so violent.” He rubs the spot you’ve tainted. As if you did any damage. He’s just doing it to fuck with you. “Do you hit all the guys you’re into?”

“Are you trying to make me say no?” That’s a lie. You know this. You’re just still in shock that you might actually owe Utahime twenty bucks. Satoru clicks his teeth.

“Look. You don’t have to answer me now. And I’ll buy you your yogurt back.” He digs in his bag, taking his car keys out. “Just… let me know, okay?”

He lingers in his spot. He’s not the main character in this romance scene, though. It’s you, the unforgiving lead who can’t decide what they want for themselves, and when the opportunity comes for a new start, they stand frozen in time. All those past mistakes a whirlwind behind you, threatening your security, and the glass breaks, and all of a sudden you’re in a garage, making a fool of yourself in front of the character who never deserved a bad ending. You wouldn’t do that to him.

“If I say yes,” you murmur. Satoru perks up instantly. “Can I choose where we go?”

“Depends. Do they have free ice cream for dessert?”

Of course that would be his only stipulation. You’re glad he’s easy to feed. “Probably.”

Satoru nods. He clicks his car unlocked. “If you say yes,” he repeats, rounding the back of his car to the driver’s seat, “I’ll go anywhere for you.”

He leaves you gawping. You watch him open his door, sit down. Adjusting the air conditioner high because you know he’s always blasting it. He doesn’t roll the window down to say bye, just pulls from his spot, and you mind your feet, mind the way he waves at you, but not as enthused as he usually is with it.

You stand there, thinking about your yogurt, and about Utahime’s face when you tell her you’ll say yes.

#gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #jjk x reader #gojo scenario #gojo scenarios #jjk scenarios

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blushyeleven · 11 months

Text

Tickletober - DAY 22

Ticklish kiss

Characters: lee!mia, ler!vada

Warnings: mention of drugs (weed), sexual themes implied, mention of being high, tickles, swearing

a/n: my first fallout fic! Also my name is Mia so the amount of self projecting in this fic is ridiculous (it made it more fun to write🤭) and also I’m even more sick so the quality of my fics rn is Not Great so im very sorry😭 (also an anon requested vada headcanons and I promise I’m gonna write them after tkl tober but my fics are priority rn, so anon if you see this, as soon as tkltober is over I’ll write them I promise!)

𝑩𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒘𝒐 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒔

It had been a long night, vada and Mia were just casually layed on mias vibrantly patterned rug in her bedroom after smoking some weed and coming to the decision that vada was going to stay the night at Mias house.

So the two high school girls layed there, in a small break of silence before vada spoke up. “What are you thinking about?” She asked after seeing the puzzled look on the dancers face. “Hm?” She mused before putting her legs up in the air, owning a laugh from Mia. But Mia didn’t answer her question, causing the younger girl to move closer to her while Mia just had a small smile on her face, watching the black haired girls strange, high antics. “What?” Vada giggled and heard another laugh come out of Mia.

“Okay I know your a women of very little words” Vada used her thumb and finger to clearly emphasise on how little she meant, as Mia stared upwards towards her ceiling and was still smiling slightly. “But I know you got some deep shit happening” vada said after a while, her eyes not leaving the girls face. “In that nice little head” Vada then used both her hands to almost cup mias face as Mia rolled her eyes slightly and let out another small snicker. Vada, who clearly wasnt in her right mind was rambling on as Mia just listened.

Mia just shook her head with a snicker before using one hand to cover her face “god” before keeping her hand over her face “anything?” Vada spoke up with a hopeful tone and a silly smile stretched across her face. But Mia was still not talking so vada came to her conclusions on a way to try and get he to open up. “Okay.. let’s say that you die tomorrow.. okay?.. and what if you die sad.. because you regret not saying what you wanted to say” Vada was very clearly out of it.. but it didn’t stop her from being curious.

There was then a long break of silence.. the only thing that could be heard was the crickets outside. Mia, who was deciding what to say then eventually came to her words. “I can’t say it” she sighed to which vada furrowed her eyebrows “why?”

The two girls were then met with another round of silence, Vada was just mesmerising and studying Mias Face as Mia slowly turned to look at vada. Before they were just looking at eachother. Vada then couldn’t help but find her eyes drifting of to Mias lips as the blonde highlighted girl noticed.. and she couldn’t help but also take a few glances at vadas red lips.

Before vada started to move closer, her eyes still locked onto mias lips as the dancer also moved closer before their lips met and formed a synchronised kiss. Vada then pulled away for a moment.. only to ask “is this okay?” In a small whisper to which Mia nodded. Vada then found herself ontop of mias waist, passionately kissing the girl. Never wanting to break away from the moment.

Mia tilted her head up slightly, earning more places for vada to explore with her lips. She then started slowly kissing her neck. Not forceful enough to leave a mark bur the right amount of pressure for it to feel amazing. As vada was leaving small but meaningful kisses along Mias neck she must have hit a sensitive spot because the noise that left mias mouth was clearly abrupt and unexpected. It was an odd mix between a gasp and a squeak although it was enough for the dancers face to react with a piercing pink.

“Are you okay?” Vada asked quickly, a little scared she was doing something wrong or that she hurt the girl. She quickly became slightly insecure of herself, her mind automatically thinking the worse. “Yeah I- im sorry-“ Mia was quick to apologise, avoiding the black haired girls eye contact. “Do you not want this?” Vada asked again, clearly a little worried she went to far before Mia replied quickly “no! I do! Really..” Mia said, finally looking the girl in the eyes with a slight up curve of her lips and her blush intensifying.

“Then what was that?” Vada snickered slightly, feeling a little comforted a reassured by the smile on mias face. The dancer then just sighed before her eyes drifted away again.. “I’m.. im just a Little sensitive there..” She spoke, clearly very embarrassed about the whole ordeal. It was actually quite amusing to vada, she’s never seen Mia like this before. “Sensitive?” Vada echoed, clearly a little lost. But Mia didn’t elaborate, her only reply was a small nod.

Vada was still casually perched onto the girls waist as she was still trying to figure out what she meant. Clearly the high was affecting her if she couldn’t place was Mia was trying to say.. without actually saying it. “What like.. it hurt?” Vada asked, her eyebrows furrowed more. Mia rolled her eyes playfully at the girls stupidity. “No.. like.. it tickled..” Mia answered, her blush almost matching the shade of lipgloss she previously had on.. before vada took it off with her own lips. “Tickled?” Vada parroted again, this time more amused and she snickered slightly.

“Your ticklish?” Vada had an excited glint in her eyes at this new discovery. Clearly Intrigued. “I.. well.. a little” the blonde admitted, rather flustered by the predicament she was in. Vada found herself at a loss for her own words, thinking how adorable this all was. “Sorry if I like.. ruined the mood” Mia sighed, staring off and out of her window. “Fuck having sex.. I wanna try this out” Vada smirked down at the dancer.. watching as her eyes grew twice in size.

“Oh come on.. please?” The younger girl pleaded, eager to test out this rather endearing feature about the girl. Mia just rolled her eyes again.. “okay, fine..” she reluctantly agreed, watching as Vadas smirk grew into a genuine smile as she wasted no time into prodding all 10 of her fingers into Mias side. Earning a jump and a squeak from the girl.

Vada then started mercilessly scribbling her fingers into Mias side as the blonde squirmed helplessly underneath her, letting out the most heart warming and adorable giggles. “ahahahahahha!! Vahahahadaaa!!!!” Mia squeaked out. Vada had never seen Mia like this before, just giving into her own sensitivity and letting herself freely laugh. She enjoyed this new side to the dancer.. but she wanted to hear more.

So naturally, vadas fingers swiftly found a new spot to target as her fingers fell upon mias stomach, skittering her fingers onto the spot as Mias laughter grew. “PFFT BAHAHAHA SHIHIHITT!!” Almost immediately, mia moved her hand up to cover her mouth as she clenched her eyes shut. There was something so.. fun about letting herself be vulnerable in this moment. Letting herself loosen up and actually enjoy herself, even if it was for a couple of minutes.

“I can’t believe your this ticklish! How did I not know?” Vada mused again, the smirk prominent on her face. “IHITS NOHOT LIHIKE I WAHAHAS GOHONNA JUHUST TEHELL YOU!” Mia giggled out, her laughter flowing through her trendy bungalow. “Why not? This is fun!!!” Vada giggled at the girl and her position. She really did look and sound adorable like this. “MAHAYBE FOHOR YOHOU!!” Mia tried to protest, this was probably the most vada has heard Mia try and speak all at once, after all she was a women with very little words. But she seemed to be vocalising herself a lot right now. “Uh! You know your having fun to!” Vada argued back, her smirk etching futher.

“SHUHUT UHUP!” Mia countered. “I’m just sayinggg!” Vada snickered before moving her fingers to mias ribs, clawing at them slightly. Although vada was clearly buzzing from being high, she was still a skilled tickler. She was an older sister after all. It just means that any older sister had a natural power of being able to tickle people really well. “AHAHAHA!! FUHUCK!” Mia was beging to squirm even more, clearly not even realising herself how ticklish she actually was. It has been so long since this had actually happened seeming as she was an only child and her two dads were away most of the time. But she didn’t usually have this kind of affection or fun with any of her dance friends. It was a change, but a nice change. A change that she actually didn’t mind. Even if that did mean vada now jones and could use her ticklishness against her at any given moment. Mia didn’t mind. She only really felt comfortable with vada using it against her anyway.

Vada then dug her hands into mias armpits and watched as the girl let out a window-shattering shriek before exploding into heavy and forcefull laughter. Jackpot. “AHHAAHHAHA FUHUCK! NOHOHO!! VAHAHADAA!!” She shrieked out of helpless girlish giggles as vada knew she had hit her worst spot. Oh boy, did she rinse that spot for all it’s worth as it was filled with nee and exciting reactions. “AHHAHAHAHAH NAHAHAHAHHAHA!! I CAHAHAHNTT!” Mia was in an own battle of the urge to clench her arms to her side in an attempt to block vadas wiggling fingers or to cover her own flushed face. “I think I’ve found a bad spottt” vada observed in a sing-song voice before scratching her nails directly into the poor girls hollows. Draining the laughter from the dancers mouth. “AHAHHAHAHHAHAHA NAHAHAHAHAH!!”

Mia was clearly close to her breaking point as the forceful laughter was creating small drops of water to fall down Mias cheek and for the pure fact that Mia was trying her best to thrash around under the weight of vada, who was practically already pinning her down. “I actually can’t even believe how ticklish you are.. I’m actually shocked” vada mused only making the situation worse for Mia as it somehow made it tickle more. But no amount of squirming could get vadas fingers out of mias armpits.

Mia then started kicking her legs about, causing vada a hard time to stay balanced on her hips with the amount of thrashing that Mia was doing. Before finally, Mia then called out “BAHAHAHHA STAHAHAPP!!” And with Mias wishes, vada stopped, pulling out her hands and watching as Mia tried to regain her breathe through the residual giggles still lingering.

“that.. that was adorable!” Vada snickered, still amazed and overjoyed with how the whole evening played out. “Like.. your so easy to tickle!” Vada teased to which Mia playfully scoffed. “Fuck off..” Mia said with a small smile of her own growing as vada then realised a swift poke to the girls side. As Mia let out a small squeak and jumped up. “Okay fine.. whatever” Mia admitted with a small sigh, but the grin never leaving her face.

It was clear the connection and the chemistry between the two girls, I mean, they were practically bonded by their trauma that they shared and they were both equally grateful that they stepped in when they needed each other the most. And it was moments like these that the students forgot what shitty world they were living in and just enjoyed eachothers company.

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