#if something happens and this doesn't post

[lightgamble]

DAREDEVIL: BORN AGAIN | 1.01, 1.02 & 1.03

I'm not him anymore. And, I won't let myself be.

[undeadorion]

No, it's worse than a company being liquidated. It's being gutted and replaced from the inside out. It reminds me of what happened to Adobe.

Adobe bought Macromedia in 2005. At first, nothing overtly changed. By the time I started working for their tech support department in early 2007, there were some rumblings happening, but not publicly noticeable. This is because through the transition, Adobe retained it's same CEO.

That is, until November of 2007. When the former CEO of Macromedia, Shantanu Narayen, took over. What followed was as rapid and poorly executed as what Musk is doing. US support was rapidly dismantled. First they took out the email team, which I was part of, to move that support overseas. US email support was put back onto the phones. Phone support was split between the US team, and the very hastily trained overseas team. So the dwindling US team was constantly being yelled at by frustrated customers who had been with the overseas people, with issues from people not knowing what they were doing to outright lying to just hanging up on people.

More than a month after closing the US email team, they begged us to come back and clean everything up. The overseas team had managed to cock it up so bad, there were still emails in the system from the same week we'd stopped answering them. After we got through the backlog and had everything back on track, it was a "Fuck you very much" and we were kicked back to the phones.

To really kick dirt in everyone's faces, the most senior staff members from the US team were "promoted" to being trainers for the overseas team. And as far as I can tell went through like some hardcore brainwashing to maintain a position with Adobe, while the rest of us were kicked to the curb.

I was still friends with one of these newly minted trainers when the serial number debacle happened. Adobe had shut down server support for authenticating licenses for either CS2 or CS3 products. Their solution was to post a completely open serial number on their own website alongside the product download with a little note that said it was only for people who paid for the product. This friend and I got into an argument because he genuinely believed anyone using this serial without having paid for it was STEALING. How do you steal something when it's openly available, you using it doesn't remove anything from anyone else, and you could not purchase it even if you wanted to?

Now Adobe is price-gouging subscription-only piece of shit, so bloated and poorly optimized it takes an age to even launch on a brand new computer and stuffed full of AI. They even took a shit directly on the chests of comic artists, a major chunk of their userbase.

I don't think the US is being liquidated. I think it's Adobe. A mockery of the powerhouse it once was. Gutted by greedy pieces of shit who think optimization is throwing your skilled employees under the bus to slash labor costs no matter who it hurts in the process. Those who remain loyal will blindly listen to their dear leader without critical thought. And everyone stuck in the system will be forced to endure a bloated, sluggish pile of shit that's just handing off your data left and right while squeezing every penny out of your bank account.

Anyone who has ever worked for a company that was bought out by PE firms knows just how disastrous it is.  

[xelinielx]

Even Broken, I Still Love You

The ending of book 7 has just WRECKED me and I wrote some hurt/comfort because I have feelings about my dragon boy. I put a link to the AO3 post as well. I usually never post writing on here but this piece doesn't fit in on my other blog so here it is.

SPOILERS FOR THE END OF BOOK 7

Header by MagicPaint. AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/63793984

“Do you think I’m a monster?”

Malleus’ voice was uncharacteristically quiet, tone so low that you had to strain to hear him. The question hung heavy in the air.

He still hadn’t turned to face you, staring out of the small window of the bedroom that he slept in during his stay at S.T.Y.X. There wasn’t much of a view out of the windows besides dark, moving water, so it was clear that Malleus was using the window as an excuse not to look at you.

It was clear just by looking that the overblot had taken an immense toll on him. He looked completely different from his usual self. Not only had his usual dark robes been changed to the S.T.Y.X-themed clothing that test subjects wore, but there was something about the way he held himself that was fundamentally different from before.

The noble dragon fae usually held his head high in a regal posture that was hard for anyone else to replicate, authority and power exuding from his very stance. It was a far cry to the way he was posed currently, hunched over as if trying to make himself seem smaller, trembling fingers clutching onto the windowsill. 

There was also a different aura surrounding him that was different from how his emotions could manipulate the weather around him. It wasn’t the feeling of crackling electric anger, or even the heavy, suffocating pressure drop as rain clouds formed. It was a deep, exhausted sorrow that seemed to weigh the entire room down. 

As Malleus had a collar to monitor his magic usage, the aura was, for once, not physical, yet it somehow felt more tangible than any emotional outburst you had seen from him. More real despite not actually being there.

A few days had passed since the final battle that had marked the end of Malleus’ overblot. When he had been reassured that Lilia was alright, Malleus had been taken by the Ferrymen as well as both Idia and Ortho to S.T.Y.X for monitoring and data-collection. No one had wanted to take the risk of leaving him in a state where he risked a second overblot, so once he had stabilized enough, the Director allowed him to request visitors. 

It had not seemed like a wise decision to keep Malleus cut off from the rest of the world as was S.T.Y.X’s norm since almost losing Lilia was what had brought on the overblot in the first place. Leaving Malleus not knowing how the people he cared about were doing was too high of a risk.

The first visitor that Idia had (begrudgingly) been tasked with delivering to the Isle of Woe was Lilia - to the surprise of no one. Both the Director and Idia had been hesitant to risk putting the strain of travel on Lilia so soon after everything that had happened, but Lilia had been uncaring of the worries and insisted that he had to go. 

Silver and Sebek were still in recovery - where Lilia was also supposed to be - and while Malleus had wished to see both his retainers as well, the Director had put his foot down. It was too dangerous to bring all three over already, so after negotiating, Malleus had agreed to let Sebek and Silver heal for a while longer before he got to see them. 

Lilia had also threatened the director, saying that if he refused to pick him up to go see his ward, Lilia would jump into the water surrounding Sage’s Island and swim until he managed to find the Isle of Woe. 

Besides researchers checking cameras and vitals to make sure both fae were alright, the two of them had been given space to speak alone. Whatever they spoke about was kept between them and S.T.Y.X, but it had involved lots of hugging and tears.

Two days after Lilia’s visit, Ortho had contacted you through your phone, telling you that Malleus had requested your presence at the Isle of Woe, which is where you currently were, staring at his trembling form for the first time since he had been taken in for monitoring. 

Normally, you’d have cracked a smile seeing the fae-prince surrounded by this much technology that he had no idea how to use, but the items in the room were the furthest things away from your mind.

Slowly, as if approaching a wounded animal, you walked over to Malleus’ shaking form. With a gentleness that Malleus wasn’t used to feeling, you placed your hand softly atop his. It felt a bit strange at first, feeling his cold skin instead of the gloves he tended to wear, but the feeling of strangeness quickly disappeared. 

A pair of wide, emerald-green eyes stared down at where your hand rested on top of his, filled with an unspoken question.

Why?

For a moment, the two of you stood still in silence as you searched for the right words. Eventually, you took a calming breath and spoke up, voice soft and calming.

“Mal,” you began, using an affectionate nickname to hopefully help him relax.

His breath hitched for a moment, surprise evident. 

“I understand why you used your ultimate magic. Why the circumstances caused you to overblot. You wanted to protect the people that were precious to you and keep them from harm, protecting both them and yourself from getting hurt.”

A single tear ran down Malleus’ cheek as he finally turned to fully face you, leaving a wet track across his porcelain skin. He still refused to meet your eyes, scared of what he would see reflected in them.

“You had good intentions. There is nothing evil about wanting to keep your loved ones safe. If I had been in your position, I think that I would have overblotted too,” you admitted quietly, giving Malleus a small, weak smile. “So there is no way that I can possibly blame you for making the same choices I would have if I were you.”

In a silent plea, Malleus turned his hand around to face palm-up. You responded by lacing your fingers together with his, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze.

“Please look at me?” you asked in a small, yet hopeful voice.

Slowly, Malleus’ green eyes moved from your intertwined hands up your arm, then neck, where they paused briefly before finally meeting yours. 

The hate and anger he had expected to see was nowhere to be seen. He could see his reflection, and was unable to determine whether the sadness he saw came from you or himself.   

You lifted your free hand to his face, letting it gently rest against his cheek. Your thumb moved to brush another tear away. 

“Malleus Draconia,” you said, staring deep into his eyes.

“You are not a monster.”

Those words seemed to snap whatever makeshift dam he had constructed to keep his emotions at bay, shattering it completely. 

Malleus began to cry. Tears flowed down his cheeks and sobs tore their way out of his heaving chest as he finally let go of control and allowed his emotions to run free. 

Unable to stand up anymore, Malleus fell to his knees on the floor, burying his face against your stomach as he cried. His arms wrapped around you tightly as if you were the only thing keeping him upright. He held you like he would collapse if there was even as much as a millimetre of space between the two of you.

His devastating sobs and the desperate way he clung to you broke your heart. You wasted no time sinking down to kneel in front of the dragon fae so that you could properly return his full embrace. 

Tears soaked your shirt as Malleus clung to you so desperately that it felt like you would bruise or your clothes would tear from his strength at any moment. That didn’t matter, though. Bruises didn’t matter. Clothes didn’t matter. S.T.Y.X didn’t matter.

Nothing mattered in that moment but the sobbing fae in your arms.

Malleus sobbed out apologies in between cries, and you did your best to calm him, whispering reassurances as you alternated between rubbing his back and petting his head gingerly, being extra mindful of his horns.

At some point, you ran out of new things to say, defaulting to a reassuring ‘it’s okay’ as you held him. Hopefully, he would feel better after letting it all out. You weren’t going anywhere.

It could have been anything from mere minutes to several hours, but eventually, Malleus’ sobs began to die down to sniffles.

He lifted his head from where he had buried it against your shoulder, glancing up to meet your eyes with his red-rimmed, puffy ones.

“I’m sorry,” he said, voice cracking. “For everything. All the people I hurt. The things I-” 

Fresh tears spilled past his lash line, and you didn’t hesitate to cup his face in your hands, brushing them away as they fell. Malleus leaned into the warmth of your palms, seeking the reassurance your touch held. 

“You don’t need to apologize, Mal,” you whispered, smiling at him. “Not to me. Never to me.” 

Leaning forward, you pressed a featherlight kiss against the scale on his forehead which peeked out from between tousled locks of hair. 

“There was nothing unforgivable about what you did. The people who were hurt are recovering, the school is being rebuilt, and everyone is safe.” 

Malleus’ breath hitched. Tears glistened in the corners of his eyes and across his long lashes like tiny diamonds. 

“Aren’t you afraid?” he asked, voice still quiet and trembling. The ‘of me’ was left unsaid, but you knew it was there. 

Your immediate smile was all the reassurance Malleus needed, but you still decided to verbally reassure him as well.

“I could never be afraid of you, Mal.”

The relief Malleus felt was palpable as he finally relaxed, shoulders dropping from their tense position as he leaned his weight into you. 

His head shifted to press a pointed ear against your chest, listening to the steady and even thumps of your heartbeat.

To better support the body weight of the dragon fae, you shifted your sitting position so that you could lean your back against the wall. You refused to let Malleus get up so you could move, holding him close and carding your fingers through his hair with soft, comforting motions. 

“But I saw…” Malleus’ voice cracked. “When my horn broke, I saw the look in your eyes. You looked terrified.” The last part of the sentence was a mere whisper, but the close proximity between the two of you made you able to pick it up. 

“I was scared, yes,” you began, feeling something in your chest ache as you felt the powerful mage in your arms flinch. “But not of you.”

Malleus tilted his head to meet your eyes, brows furrowed in confusion. 

You let out an airy laugh, brushing a stray lock of hair behind his ear. “I was afraid for you. Afraid that you would have to be killed to stop your overblot. Afraid that I would never get to hold you like this again.”

You could feel tears brimming in your own eyes as you poured your heart out. “Mal, I love you. Nothing you have done or will do could ever change that.” 

Cold lips pressed against yours with a soft reverence. The kiss was slow, unhurried as the two of you conveyed a thousand words between each other in a silent, intimate moment. 

When you pulled apart, Malleus rested his forehead against yours, the cold of his forehead scale comforting. “You wish to stay by my side still?” he asked, knowing the answer deep down, yet still fearful he would be mistaken.

“Always.”

“Even if I look like this now?” he urged, leaning away far enough to do a sweeping motion towards his face and now uneven, damaged horns. “Even if-”

You cut him off with another kiss, this time more demanding than the prior. You tried pouring all your love into the kiss, trying to clear the insecure thoughts from Malleus’ mind. Taking the opportunity provided by Malleus as he had leaned away before, you climb into his lap, making yourself comfortable. 

Pulling away from the kiss, you cradled his face gently but firmly in both hands, making sure he couldn’t look away from you.

“Malleus, if you think something as insignificant as you looking different is enough to take me away from your side, you are far from correct.” You let your left hand travel up his face until it was gently tracing the base of his broken horn. 

“You could have four horns, eight and a half horns, or no horns at all, and it would still have no impact at all on my feelings for you.” 

Carefully, you gently ran the pads of your fingers over the broken part of the horn where it had snapped off. Malleus shuddered beneath you as your touch danced across his exposed, extra sensitive nerves.

“I love you because you are you. Not because you’re a Draconia, or a powerful fae. None of that matters.” Your hand returned to cradling his face once more. 

“Of course, having a strong, handsome partner is a bonus,” you added with a giggle, delighting in the small, pale blush that crept across Malleus’ cheeks.

“But I’m not with you because of those things. I’m with you because of all the things that make you you. The care that you show for me and those you care about, how fireflies follow you at night and circle our clasped hands. The cute way you pout when Sebek mixes up gargoyles and grotesques, itching to correct him. The childlike wonder you show to every new thing you learn…”

You take a breath, wishing in vain for your voice to stay strong, but failing miserably.

“- the way that all you’ve ever wanted is for people to see you for who you are, and be able to be yourself, unburdened by expectations and prejudices.”

Tears were flowing down your cheeks now, making you feel embarrassed. Right now, you needed to be the strong one supporting Malleus - not the other way around. 

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you placed your hand against his chest, right above his heart.

“I see you.” 

A relieved, genuine smile - the first one you’d seen since the overblot - stretched across Malleus’ lips. He leaned into the touch of your palm, eyes shining with both residual tears and adoration. 

“What did I ever do to deserve you?” he asked.

You immediately shook your head in outrage. “What do you mean deserve? You silly, silly dragon. You didn’t have to do anything at all but exist.” 

Letting out a sound that was something halfway between a laugh and a sob, you continued as Malleus’ arms wrapped around your waist, holding you close. 

“If anything, I’m the one undeserving of you.” 

His mouth fell open in shock, about to cut you off, but you forced yourself to continue, undeterred.

“You’re the prince of Briar Valley. Not only do you have magic, but you’re one of the most powerful mages in the whole world! And the most ethereal, gorgeous person I have ever seen. I’m a nobody compared to you. A magicless human from another world with nothing really special about me. My life is so much shorter than yours, and I-”

This time, Malleus refused to let you continue and cut you off. A slender finger pressed against your lips as he let out a dry laugh. “My love, do you hear yourself? You are bringing up all the things you said didn’t keep you from loving me to put yourself down. Just as these things don’t matter to you, it is the same way for me. I did not fall in love with you because you’re a human or because it would benefit Briar Valley. I would renounce my claim on the throne in a heartbeat for you.”

Malleus cupped your cheek, mirroring your own earlier actions. 

“I fell in love with the first person outside of my country who truly saw me for myself, was undeterred by how awkwardly I engage in conversation, and extended invitations to me - being the first person to see me as a choice, someone they wanted to be around. You have never looked upon me with the fearful gaze of a subject kneeling before me, and have never made me feel excluded in any way due to being a prince.” 

He let out a laugh, gazing fondly up at you. “Any and every day with you is an adventure. No matter where you take me, what we do together, or what people around us whisper about, it’s the fact that I’m doing it with you that makes it special.”

“Even though I laughed at you when you were startled and jerked back when they were popping popcorn at a market stall and me and Silver had to fight to keep Sebek from drawing his sword at the poor owner of the stall?” 

Malleus let out a loud burst of laughter. “Moments like those are my favorite. Spending time with people I care about, and learning new things while not a single thought about my royal lineage crosses my mind.” 

Falling quiet for a moment, Malleus seemed to ponder something. With a resolute nod to himself, he resumes speaking. 

“Like you said, I am aware that the differing length of our respective lifespans is a source of conflict and worry. I do not wish to ever lose you. You saw what happened when I was afraid I would lose Lilia…” he trailed off for a moment, but quickly collected himself.

“Even though that is a fear I harbor, I do not wish to give up on loving you. If you are willing to stay with me despite all that I’ve done, we have many years to find a solution… and…” Malleus took a deep breath, meeting your gaze again, tears pooling at the corners of his eyes. 

“...and should we not find a solution, then so be it. I would much rather have lived a life with you in it and then lose you than never having had you in my life at all.” 

Terrified of loss and sadness, and knowing the potential consequences of that, he still wanted nothing more than to spend as many years as possible at your side. A century is a short time for a fae, yet even if that is all the time with you that he gets, he is certain that it will be the most memorable and most valuable hundred years he ever lives.

“You ass,” you choked out with a laugh, wiping your nose with the sleeve of your shirt. “I’m the one supposed to be sappy and reassure you - not the other way around.” There was no mirth or anger in your eyes, and the remark was playful, attempting to lighten the mood. 

Malleus let out a chuckle, chest rumbling. “Who is to say that I am not supposed to be the so-called ‘sappy’ one?” he asked, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck. “You are truly precious to me, and I cannot in any amount of words in any language properly convey just how much you mean to me.” 

He fell silent once more, peeking up at you through his lashes. “Are you truly certain that you wish to be with me after all this?” 

There was no need to pause and think. You already knew your answer and had known it for a long time now.

“There is no place I would rather be.” 

Eventually, the pair of you fell asleep cuddled together on the floor, clutching each other tightly as if fearing that the other would disappear otherwise. Your head rested on Malleus’ chest, lulled to sleep by the soft, rumbling purrs he let out as he slept curled around you like a dragon guarding its hoard.

And for the first time since the overblot, neither of you worried about what you would find in your dreams, content to exist in the perfect reality that could only be found in the other’s arms.

[muqingslover]

[ is that angst I smell? The menu for tonight offers the LADS boys and how they are post-breakup with you! yum! the reason for the break-up is open bc it's besides the point. Also, how do we feel about this layout? ]

Rafayel

Now playing: The cut that always bleeds by Conan Gray

Part of him had always expected this to happen. The ugly and resentful side of his heart that never believed in the so called "love" you held for him after the horrible things he went through and in the end he was proven right.

How many more reincarnations would he have to live through until you finally learned to love him? Or maybe this was his punishment for sacrificing the lives of his own people for someone who won't even look his way.

Personally, I don't think he's a weak, whiny baby most people describe him as. I firmly believe Rafayel can be resentful and angry, he just keeps it hidden so you won't see it. This time however? Oh you're seeing all the sides of him.

He wouldn't ever hurt you, absolutely not, but he will raise his voice when he questions why you were doing this to him, why were you forsaking him again, when he's given you everything he possibly could.

"Why is it never enough for you?! Why is it so damn hard for me to be enough for you?! Answer me!" The tears streaming down his face are something he doesn't even realize until his eyes begin to sting. How many centuries has it been since he had last cried?

For months he'd stay locked inside his studio and no one is allowed to visit, not even his aunt is able to help. The paintings he had of you were all ruined but Rafayel still found himself sketching your face like clockwork each time he stood in front of an empty canvas.

He feels angry, betrayed and he's just so, so hurt. I believe that depending on the reason behind the breakup it could very well be his last straw and will lead to him returning to the sea for good.

One day he's just gone without a trace and he's never coming back.

-----------------------------⁠☆⁠⁠☆⁠⁠☆⁠------------------------

Xavier

Now playing: The loneliest by Måneskin

He can't believe this is happening. Like, you choosing to break up with him was never even an option in his mind. Xavier would immediately assume it was his fault and beg for you to let him try and fix whatever went wrong.

His entire world shatters when you walk out the door and somehow it hurts so much more than when he held you in his arms as life left your body.

For months he would take part of the same missions you did, visit the same spaces, take the same train and do anything he could to be apart of your life. The silence between the two of you is suffocating but, surprisingly, Xavier is the one who makes the effort to make conversation about even the simplest of things.

His emotional state would completely drain him. He is so exhausted but he can't sleep at all. Not when he knows you chose to not be by his side.

Nevertheless, Xavier would keep trying, trying and trying and then some more. He brings you things he tried to cook in hope it'll make you smile the same way it did before only to end up throwing it away in a bin after you declined it.

Eventually his exhaustion would catch up to him and lead to a fatal mistake while out in a mission. He is stubborn, but there is only so much he can do when his own body is running into the ground.

"Can you see the sky from where you are?" He would ask during a call you received in the middle of the night in which, unknown to you, would be the last time you ever heard his voice. To Xavier however, he was relived he was able to hear your voice while under the same sky one last time.

-----------------------------⁠☆⁠⁠☆⁠⁠☆⁠------------------------

Zayne

Now playing: Promise by Laufey

The breakup itself is so quiet and calm. The two of you discussed things and he accepted it. Zayne would always, always, respect your choices. If being by his side was not something you wanted then he will let you go without any claw marks.

It was too awkward to be around each other so what follows are weeks of radio silence. He throws himself into his work, but he can't find the focus to properly do his job. His mind always go back to you— Were you okay? Were you thinking of him at all? Were you eating and sleeping well? Who was by your side now?

He breaks the no contact rule first to check on you and although he isn't sure if what he feels is genuine relief when he sees you doing well at least that's...closure. You're happy and healthy, even without him, and he couldn't ask for more than that.

Zayne feels as if everything around him turned dull and grey. His heart frozen in time after you left and he is nothing more than a husk that functions on autopilot until his body breaks down.

He feels cold regardless of the temperature now that you're not here and he believes it is what it is. He tried, he truly did his absolute best, but he can't take away from your happiness.

The two of you will return to being friends after a while and he will continue to support and care for you like he always did. To you, the moments you shared will soon be forgotten while Zayne he will forever remain frozen in those warm memories.

-----------------------------⁠☆⁠⁠☆⁠⁠☆⁠------------------------

Sylus

Now playing: The Moon will sing by The Crave Wives

His hands gently cradle your face as he asks you to please talk to him because there's nothing he wouldn't do for you. Except sometimes there are are things he simply can't do and that's something he would be forced to accept.

Sylus would ask to keep contact even if it's just for the sake of business and uses any and every excuse to see you or hear your voice. If he can't be wanted then he will be needed and if he can't be needed then he is okay with being used as long as it's by your hands.

In truth, he wouldn't ever give you up regardless if you fell for someone else or years pass. He will be frustrated and hurt at times, but he can be patient. He will wait until it's his turn to be deserving of your heart again.

Though that does not mean he will do absolutely nothing. Sylus would tell you every day that he still loves you and it doesn't matter what you say because he won't ever feel disencouraged.

"I'm not expecting anything or pressuring you. I'm only reminding you that my love for you won't change even if you're not by my side." His voice is like a gentle coo as his hand comes to pat your head, playfully ruffling your hair so you would drop the serious expression on your pretty face.

-----------------------------⁠☆⁠⁠☆⁠⁠☆⁠------------------------

Caleb

Now playing: In my room by Julia Wolf

The biggest CRASH out.

First, he knows you want to break up before you even gather up the courage to bring it up and he finds a way to stop you from saying it every. single. time.

"Caleb I think—" "Oh! I completely forgot! I got these tickets to the show you wanted to go! C'mon, c'mon! We'll be late!"

He is in strong denial after you finally manage to say it. He'd claim you're just confused about things and that it'll pass as long as you give it some time because you don't truly mean it. You need him, how could you ever think otherwise?

He will keep calling and texting you non-stop— He begs you to talk to him and rethink your choice. You're obviously making a mistake so please stop this already.

It would take a lot to make him stop. Unless you had an ironclad reason to not come back to him then he would keep going. When he does stop though? Oof.

Caleb could only endure the torture and damage done to him mentally and physically all those years because you were his anchor. His entire life is centered around you and now that you're gone he'd lose all of his motivation.

The last time you hear from him is through the news you'd receive about the colonel who took his own life.

"Please keep me close to your heart." Your eyes read the words on the letter while your other hand clutched the necklace he left for you. Would you grant him this one last, selfish wish of his?

[thedivinetarot]

I've got a burning desire for you baby, I've a burning desire, come on tell me boy

Who desires you?

☆ How to chose your pile? Read here🤍🤍

☆ This month's offer: 🦪🪔🥀✨

Thank you💕

☆ Note:

I'm back with another post my Angels. This is a general reading. I'll do an energy check to make sure that this reading is as relatable as possible. Also, I don't do delulu check point so USE YOUR OWN discernment to figure out if this person really does think like that or not.

☆ Who is this reading for?

People who HAVE SOMEONE in mind. This is NOT for a future spouse or person.

Pile 1 - Strawberry heart 🍓

Current energy:

Hello pile 1, how are you? I hope you are doing well. Let's get into your reading. This energy check is for someone specific if you are not been described here you can directly skip to the next portion. Right off the bat I see that you guys in a situation where someone particularly a woman, female or a feminine energy spreading rumors about you. Specifically about your relationship with someone. Are sleepy pile 1? I wasn't sleepy at all and when I started your reading I got sleepy and hungry all of suden. But anyways, I see that you may be in a relationship with someone and your relationship with them is quite stagnant and is not moving. This relationship either ended and you can't move on OR this relationship is resisting change. I see that someone here is emotionally attached, the SAME energy I picked up on in the previous reading kept popping up despite rearranging the deck and clearing the space bit it is still here. Someone here is emotionally attached to someone who is detached, clear minded and doesn't give a lot of emotions into the relationship at all. This person is emotionally distant which create a deep friction in the relationship which pushes it further away and create stress and conflict. I see also that someone here is refusing to let go and move on. Weird how the SAME CARDS fell again from the previous reading. The devil and queen of cups, a feminine here is attached and dependent emotionally on a masculine who is distant and cold. There's an end to this situation but the feminine is refusing to acknowledge that and move on. Also, this person is making you restless, I feel so sleepy but I don't want to sleep. Like something wrong or destructive will happen if I sleep. Take care pile 1, don't let that burden you.

Placements for you:

Aquarius, Gemini, Aries, Virgo, Scorpio, Cancer. Pluto in Scorpio, Pluto dominant, moon in cancer, mercury in virgo, Venus in libra. 11th, 3rd, 1st, 6th, 8th house stallium or you sun or moon is there.

☆ Who?

This person is giving a feminine energy. If you are a woman or identify as female this could be a woman who likes you secretly. And if you are a man or identify as a masculine this is a female. But regardless of the gender I will describe their personality. Anyways, this person is spiritual, calm and mysterious. I see that they suffer from low self-esteem and self worth. They tend to victimized themselves often and does not see their own potential. They also suffer from overthinking and stress. They are stressed very often and have sleeping problems. This person is very prideful and aim to succeed in their life and reach their goals. I see that they are very defensive, protective and can be a little aggressive when they want to. This person faced many challenges in their life and just like a caterpillar, very transfomative. They keep changing, they might have pluto dominant? Or scorpio? Yeah, maybe I will put their placements down to make sure or give you a confirmation. This person is very smart and strategic, they might have bigger form or could be someone on the chubby side. Sometimes, they can be quite innocent and their vibe is youthful. They aim to reach stability in their life. I see that this person has just finished a very difficult chapter in their life and now they are born as someone new, someone else. Maybe they lost weight? Or changed something about their appearance? If you know someone like that it could be another confirmation.

Placements for them:

Cancer, Gemini, Leo, Scorpio. Dominant planet in Mercury, moon, Pluto, jupiter. Sun or moon in the 3rd, 5th, 4th, 8th house in their chart.

☆ How do they look like?

This person height is from average to tall. Hazel eyes, light brown hair and fluid. What does fluid mean? So, in my imagination a fluid person is someone who is chubby or curvy or someone that have fat in a specific area in their body. Like if this person is a man; they could have belly or prominent place that fat is accumulated in. And if they are a woman her bust is large or her hips, you got what I'm saying? It could be that this person have fat in a specific region in their body but looks very confident, a little cocky at times. They are very active too. They may work out even if they are fat or overweight. I see that this person always looks stressed or anxious. They have eye bag or dark circles around their eyes. That's what I'm seeing.

☆ What do they think of you?

They think you are very beautiful and graceful. I see that they are in awe of you. Literally, whenever you are around you might notice that they are staring at you. I see that they (there’s a mixed bag here) think you are a good mystery. I see that they see you as a riddle. Someone that will heal and accept them as they are, they might work in advertising? I just picked up on that. This person faced many challenges in their life and they are currently trying to recover. Now I'm not saying that you have to love and accept them or that you are a band aid for their wounds. No not like that; it is your choice at the end. Anyways, this person sees that you are a very dedicated and a hard worker, someone who is learning and moving forward with your life. They might indeed be someone in your studying field? Ig so. Because I got three cards related to studying. Perhaps this person is studying with you in the same institution? Or someone you went to a class with? Maybe. I see also that in your presence they feel happy and uplifted. They see also the potential for a long term relationship with you. They want to give things a try but right now they are at crossroads, they have to chose between to things or two options and I'm not quite sure what are those, could be people/jobs/ places etc. I see that their intuition is trying to guide them towards you but things are not moving how they hoped for them. This relationship (if it ever progressed) will be very healing and have a potential for long term commitment. Thank you for reading pile 1, take care💕.

☆ Their dirty fantasies: MDNI +18

Okay guys your person have a very stagnant energy, I guess they might struggle to move on from something and they get stuck easily on something. Anyways, they fantasize about restricting your movement, perhaps tying you to a bed using a handcuffs or rope. I see also that they fantasize about carrying you on their back and running around with you, I'm picturing this scene from Korean drama when the hero get down on one knee to carry the heroine on his back. I see also that they fantasize A LOT about kissing you, this person is so hungry from French kisses, they enjoy them too much. They also fantasize about doing it with you while the light are on, they want to SEE EVERYTHING. They want to enjoy looking at you while they take you. They also fantasize about power dynamic. Were they get to discover what makes you tick and moan and your toes curl in pleasure. They want to dominant you, they want to be the assertive one that you feel weak in front. They also fantasize about taking you from behind and by surprise. They want to come from behind you and whisper filthy stuff in your ear until you beg them to take you already. They want also to have quick and dirty, they enjoy it quick, no foreplay, no time to get turned on just straight to the point. That's how they want you. Also, this person's brain get fog with lust when they fantasize about you two, like when they are in the mood for you, their brain stops working and they literally get brain fog with lust. They fantasize also about spicing things up with whips. They want to test the waters to see if you are open to them? Perhaps whips or a belt to either tie you with or use it on you. That's what I'm seeing pile one, thank you for reading 💕.

Pile 2 - Red roses 🥀

Current energy:

(Please take what resonates and if it doesn't skip to the next portion, thank you)

I see that you either get heartbroken or disappointed by someone in your life, I see you spying on them or stalking their social media, I see that you want to continue this relationship but at the same time you feel confused but you are weighing your options wisely and seeing what will happen if you talk and not talk to them. I see that this person left you feeling very disappointed and heartbroken, also they might be the one who indeed broke up with you. I felt frustrated and my brain went foggy so perhaps you are trying to understand what went wrong and at the same time you feel super confused. It is like you are a bundle of emotions with no brain, I keep typing and deleting so I guess you want to talk to that person BUT you don't know how to start or what to say. You are thinking of starting fresh with them OR someone else. I see that currently you might be trying to focus on your material wealth and avoid relationship drama but late at night you lay your head on your pillow and think of that person and what went wrong. You feel left out in the cold and confused and at the same time you feel like you can't open up to anyone because you don't want to be this vulnerable with anyone ever again. I see also that you get super defensive when someone mentions that person or when they ask you to talk and open up about the wound. That's what I'm seeing. Also, someone here is sick, I felt my throat hurting me all of sudden, like it is inflamed. Take care pile 2.

☆ Placements for you:

Sagittarius, Aries, Leo, Capricorn, Scorpio, Aquarius, Libra, moon, Uranus, Saturn, Venus dominant in your birth chart. Sun or moon in the 1st, 5th, 9th, 7th, 11th, 10th, 8th house in your chart.

☆ Who?

Hmmm... this person and you have a physical distance between you two. Like you are in a state/country and they are in another. I see that they appear to be a lone wolf and reflective, perhaps they always appear alone. They are giving ISTP vibe paired with enneagram 6 or 2. They are also very assertive, very handsome or they are physically attractive for both genders. They can be quite manipulative and know how to fool people and they are secretive and open at the same time. Perhaps, they know how to earn people's trust but doesn't really like to open up to anyone. They like to dress and they literally dress to impress. They are creative and emotionally mature. And intuition (paired with the cards) are telling me that they are from the past. They are loyal, straightforward and is considered a good companion or friend. They like materialistic stuff and they enjoy the stability they have right now. I'm picking up on two things for their age, they either are young with emotional maturity or old and emotionally immature lol. I see also that they entered your life when you were in a transitional period. Perhaps, moving to a different city, starting another job or going to college or even changing school. My intuition tells me that you walked away from them or the opposite happened. I see that you thought that things between you two were meant to be or they thought that but it turned out to be a karmic bond. They want to text you, I'm getting that they know you and they are so horny for you lol. Possible MBTI: ISTP, ENTP, INFP, XSFJ. Possible enneagram: 1, 3, 8, 9.

☆ Placements for them:

Virgo, Cancer, Aries, Gemini, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Venus in Aries and Scorpio. Mercury, Venus, mars, moon, 1st, 4th, 6th 3rd, 8th, 9th house sun or moon.

☆ How do they look like?

Okay so as I said before for their age, they are either old and emotionally immature or young and emotionally mature. I see that this person have a very graceful and healthy body. They have healthy skin, healthy hair and strong body. They are very hot btw, they have athletic body and they are kind of sporty or they like sport wear. Also, I see that if they are a man or a masculine, they have a very healthy manly body, they are strong and have nice muscles. They are from average to very tall depending on the country you are in. Now if they are African/Asian/ or Arab they dye their hair blonde or their hair is blonde naturally. And for Americans or Europeans they are blonde to light brown hair. They look like a model honestly. Now if you are asking about a woman, she have a very healthy weight and a little bit on the curvy side, she have a blonde straight hair and for some of you her aura is very feminine, she look very motherly and sweet. She is from average to tall. Anyways, this person's face look very serious, they have a resting a bitch face kind of expression, they look very serious but when they laugh they appear to be carefree. They smile is very beautiful or their teeth is prominent, perhaps they have a teeth gap? Or something about their teeth is very obvious. Maybe they did a Hollywood smile or whitening their teeth regularly. Their eye color is blue, bluish green, grey and finally hazel. Or they like to wear color contact lenses with these colors. They really like to wear trendy and stylish clothes. Some of them wear elegant clothes and others like sport wear.

☆ What do they think of you?

Physically they think you are sensual, hot and attractive but very cocky or mysterious. They think that you have a tight knot social circle and they are intrigued, they want to know more about your life. They want to know you better, but at the same time they feel anxious because you appear very guarded and mysterious. They also think you have all the traits that make you likeable and social but you don't know how to use them wisely. I see also that they think you can be a little bit spoiled or selfish. I see also that they think you hide who you are whether it is nasty or good. They also think you are very hard to get and they need to work harder to get you to open up to them. They see as a lone wolf too and you don't need their validation or anyone else's. They think that you overthink a lot and have a tendency to worry and get anxious over anything. I see that they have been watching you for so long and you are almost always on their mind. They think that fate needs to interfere in order for them to get back to your life or come to your life. But honestly, I don't see them coming or trying to initiate anything, it is like they are keeping everything to themselves (literally you got a three cards in reverse, they keep everything to their chest).

☆ Their dirty fantasies MDNI +18

Right of the bat my intuition told me that this person either have two fantasies or these are two people so take what resonates. First fantasy or person want you to do a lap dance for them, they want you to slowly take off your clothes in front of them and dance on their lap, they are so wild omg. Also this person is a bit of a helplessly romantic, they want to write vulgar poems for you, they want want yo dirty talk to you, they also want you to put on a show for them, I'm getting something like strip dance where you slowly take your sexy clothes off and dance to them. They want you to entertain them, they basically want you to spice things up in their life. The other energy is a bit off and leans more towards darker/heavier fantasies. They want to use knives on you. They want to cut you with a knife? That's what I'm getting. Also, they want to have make up sex with you. They want to debate and get into a fight with you then make it up by basically having sex. I see also that this energy, have a quite high sex drive, nothing wear them out easily, they have a high libido/stamina, whoever this person is. They also, want to worship you. Body worship is something they might do, but not always (when they are in the right mood). They want you to take care of them lol, this person is younger than you. Perhaps, they see you as someone either more experienced or mature. And they are young or less experienced. They see you as someone who is more mature, smart and warm. That's their fantasies. Thank you for reading pile 2, I hope you enjoyed it 💕

Pile 3 - Statue 🦪

Current energy:

(Okay before starting I want to put a reminder here. This is a general energy check, so please use your own discernment and take what resonates and leave what doesn't. And if you read the energy check and none of it resonated then skip to the next portion, thank you pile 3 💕)

I can sense within this pile there's multiple energies. First I got a headache, then my body felt lighter, like I'm floating. It feels weird, anyways. I see that someone here is investing in self love and self care, you guys are the big girl/boy who live on their own, have their money and work their job. And if not then someone here is almost finishing their college or school. Someone here is trying to study or learn something new but it feels like your brain is foggy and you can't focus. I'm sensing a strong masculine energy, if you are a masculine or a man then I see you pursuing someone romantically and if you identify as a woman or feminine then you are being pursued by a man or a masculine. I see something serious here, like the person is either taking you seriously or you are taking them seriously. Others are praying or manifesting a future person, perhaps a future spouse or wife. Also, I see that someone will enter your life unexpectedly, this person carry a heavy water energy. The king of cups energy, someone who is creative, kind, empathetic and sweet. I see that this person will be loyal to you and it may be the same person who you are pursuing or being pursued by that's what I'm seeing. Someone here left a very difficult financial situation. Perhaps, someone rubbed you or tricked you to give them money, but I see that your money will get back to you in the most unexpected ways because the universe loves you and will never give up on you. I see that life is coming to balance after a heavy period dealing with financial issues or learning difficulties.

☆ Placements for you:

Taurus, Virgo, Sagittarius, Gemini, Venus, Saturn, Jupiter, Mercury as dominant planets in your chart. Or stallium in the 2nd, 6th, 9th, 3rd house in your chart.

☆ Who?

Okay, that's funny. This person might be your twin flame or soulmate. You get a card that you and this person feel the same things towards each other. For a group of you, you know this person and been in a short connection with them but nothing came to fruition and you went your separate ways. For others you don't know this person yet because it feel like they are manifesting you to their life. It feels very tricky here. Someone knows you but does not want to reveal themselves and for another group of you this person is within your friend group or neighborhood or school something within reach but at the same time hidden. This person is very generous and giving, they like to party, it gives off an extroverted bubbly vibes. This person is very competitive, reckless and loud. It gives off ESTP, ENTP, ESFP, ENFP vibes. This person lacks emotional maturity honestly. Also, they are very childish and unpredictable. They like to talk so much and take are of their appearance. They like to romance people up and they are kinda shallow. I'm getting, hot but broke vibes. This person is very fun-loving, reckless but at the same time they still take money from their parents. Now, if they are from 17 to 25 they are still taking money from their parents. And if they are older they still live with their parents but pay their own bills. This person is keeping an eye on you and are very loyal to you lol. I'm getting a hot ass person want them but they are like "what about the person on my mind?" Lol. They freaking want you and turning down any love confession because they are preparing themselves to come forward. Now we will see their intentions in next portion.

☆ Placements for them:

Gemini, Taurus, Aries, Leo, Sagittarius, Virgo, Cancer. Dominant planet in Venus, Uranus, Neptune, Mercury. Stallium or sun or moon in the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 9th house in their chart. Venus in Aries and Virgo, sun in taurus or libra, Sagittarius mars.

☆ How do they look like?

This person have a very commanding presence, they look very serious and strong physically. This person is not that tall from 1.68 cm to 1.78 cm. Their body is very strong and they have strong arms or biceps. They don't look innocent or childish at all and their appearance is hot af. Now if they are a woman or feminine her hair is weavy and her body is curvy on the right places. And if they are a man or masculine their body is strong and they look very commanding and serious. They dress traditional and for some they are hijabi (in case of a female or feminine). For men or masculine they dress casually but they look hot af. Their hands are rough and the touch of them is very practical and if she is a woman or feminine her hands are super soft and sweaty. Their facial features are not cute at all. They are very serious, very commanding presence and traditional too. Some of them like to dress in black, others lile to dress in neutral colors like white, grey beige and black. Their eye color are brown, hazel and green. And their hair texture is weavy to a little bit frizzy. For hair color I don't see anything prominent, it can be any color but specifically light.

☆ What do they think of you?

There's two groups here one who know this person and one who doesn't. Let's start with who knows this person: now this person thinks you two share soul connection, like twin flame or soulmate, they feel like you are very familiar to them and they need to get their shit together in order for them to come forward and pursue something more serious, they think you are wife/spouse material and they feel very hopeful that you'll be in their life in the future, I'm also getting that they want you back if you are in separation with them. Now, if you don't know them yet or if they are within your circle but you don't know them personally then they think you are super interesting and beautiful but, BUT they think you are a big change and they doesn't want to take that step. They think you are a nice option for their future but they are not ready to pursue anything serious with you. They don't see something in the future yet but they definitely see how interesting and smart you are. (To be honest with you I'll say what I say, this person is a loser who want someone who will accept their bare minimum and all of that is in their brain, you don't have to settle with someone like that).

☆ Their fantasies:

Now dirty left the chat lol. This person's fantasies are not that dirty they are more romantic and sweet. I see that they want to cuddle with you, I felt hot and warm like I'm wrapped in a blanket. They want you to fall asleep between their arms and they want to watch your beautiful face while you are dozing off. They want you two to have an intellectual conversation. They want you to be the one who take care of them, who make them feel loved and cherished. They want to make peace with you (if you know them) and if you don't they want your relationship to be peaceful and sweet. They want to take you to the parties they go to and dance with you in front of anyone. They want you two to get drunk and they'll carry you home on their back. They want to make you coffee so the effect of alcohol will decrease or something and if you don't drink alcohol then they want to got to the mall with you and have an iced coffee and a cinema date. They want to get vulnerable with you because they trust that you won't hurt them at all. That's what I'm seeing, sorry if this wasn't what you expected pile three. I can't honestly control the card's meaning in a sexual sense but I try to get the best out of the cards. Thank you for reading my dears💕.

Pile 4 - Candles 🕯

Current energy:

(Okay this is heavy so take what resonates and leave what doesn't. If you see that this portion doesn't resonate skip to the next paragraph. Thank you💕).

Hey pile 4, let's begin your reading. I see two scenarios here so take what resonates and leave what doesn't. Now I have two groups in mind but keep reading because what I'm going to say is for the both group. My first group here is someone who's engaged but with a person you don't feel a deep emotional connection with. I see that you are busy preparing for your wedding or the engagement party but you can't do anything to stop it from happening. Maybe you felt disappointed of how things turned out with that person or you just doesn't feel like this is meant to be. I see that this marriage is kind of traditional, perhaps it is someone your family members know and approve of but you don't like. I see that you are scared of taking that step and marrying them. Now if you are single I see that you are avoiding the conversation of marriage and love at all costs with your loved ones. You have a negative subconscious fears and beliefs about marrying the wrong person, your person hates you secretly or those paranoid girls on tiktok who posts about their biggest fears regarding marriage and other stuff. Why do you allow a TOTAL stranger ONLINE to influence you? Why do you LET THEM? they have no power over you honey. You can get what YOU want because marriage is a choice and your partner IS YOUR CHOICE. So why let some strange person online tell you about THEIR FEARS and let it dedicate your WHOLE life and relationships? I see that you are very defensive of that because of many reasons, some are regarding independence and autonomy and others are because of fear. Also, some people here got severely affected by people online that they can't even find someone to love. I see that you think that marriage will be the end of your autonomy and independence which somehow is true but also there's deep rooted fears of it. Like you are scared of reaching an old age, were you settled with someone who doesn't value you and treat you with disrespect and bare minimum. That's what I'm seeing also my cheeks flushed I felt super angry and frustrated. Something here in your work environment is very unhealthy and stressful. Please pile 4 take regular breaks and eat well. Also, don't let a stranger ONLINE to tell you what you should do and what you shouldn't, especially THEIR FEARS. And repeat after me "people's fears online are NOT my business" " I GET TO DECIDE who is my partner and NOT a stranger online". Also, what makes me even more frustrated that you don't even trust yourself to marry the right one.

☆ Placements for you:

Cancer, Taurus, Capricorn, Aries, Aquarius, Scorpio, Leo, Sagittarius. Jupiter, Saturn, Venus, mars dominant in your chart. Stallium or sun or moon in the 1st, 2nd, 4th, 5th, 9th, 10th, 11th house in your chart.

☆ Who?

Okay, this person is same as you. They have the same personality. They keep their love to themselves. They are unbalanced when it comes to loving someone, because when they do they immerse themselves deeply and fall in love with them. This person's emotions feels very deep and intense. They try to balance them out and reflect in them but because they are intense and deep they fell in a period of isolation and obsession. This person is hopeful, philosophical and practical. They are protective, they know how to earn money and multiple them. They faced many difficulties to find a job but now they found one. They used to have nightmares and get anxious very easily. This person gives off an INXJ vibe and possibly ISTJ. They have a know it all attitude but they fear rejection honestly. And if you wonder about them coming forward and confess, they won't lol. This person is very attached to the fantasy world more than reality but they are grounded though, maybe their enneagram is 1, 3 and 6. Now if you know this person they are waiting for you to come and UNLOCK them lol. They want you to come forward and get to know them. They don't want to be the one who reveal themselves, they want you to notice them and come to talk to them. They want to get to know you and once they will they are very committed and loyal to their person. They are very intelligent and smart, they are sexy too lol.

☆ Placements for them:

Virgo, Scorpio, Taurus, pisces, Gemini, Libra. Mercury, Neptune, jupiter, moon, Saturn dominant in their chart, 2nd, 3rd, 6th, 7th, 8th, 12th house placements.

☆ Who do they look like?

This person's hair is straight and balck af. Their hair is shiny and soft, their face is likely oval, round and for some it is heart shaped. They have a serious facial expressions, they look very serious and guarded. Their smirk is very noticeable or the way they smile turn to be a smirk not an actual smile. They are tall and thin. Also, they look mysterious, maybe they have a high contrast skin color to their hair. Their eyes are black, dark brown and brown and for a few of you they have an intense gaze. Their chin is very small and their facial features are not that harmonious honestly. But there’s sometimes very captivating about them. For some they have Roman nose. This person have a high metabolism, they brun food quickly lol. That's what I see for them. Their bottom lip is prominent, and their eyes are quite small.

☆ What do they think of you?

They think you are very hopeful and enthusiastic. They see how enticing and how much excitement you bring to their life. They also think that you get things without really working for because you are pretty. This person is very jealous and admire you at the same time. They are jealous of you because some things just happen for you or like you are te universe's favourite child. They see that you can get whatever and whoever you want. They think you shouldn't be insecure about yourself because you are very pretty or beautiful, they think you are competitive (if you are; because this is their pov). Also, they think you are a hardworking person who enjoys fine things in life. Some of you do buy expensive makeup or other stuff like Dior, Channel or even Saint Laurent. They see you being mysterious too and you don't reveal much about yourself. I see also that they see how smart and intelligent you are. Honestly I see them viewing you as an equal intellectually. I see also that they see you as a traditional person who have a strong deep rooted values. And a little bit unpredictable. That's how they see you.

☆ Their dirty fantasies MDNI +18

(This portion is for feminine reading for masculine respectively)

Hmmm.... okay this person is Vanilla lol (no disrespect to these people everyone has their own style). Anyways, I see them setting alone in the dark, studying or working on their desk and their mind drift to the fantasy world were you and them are together. They want you to be beneath them, they want to enter as deep as possible to your core. They feel so sad and they yearn to be inside you. They want you to set on their lap, kiss their cheek and comfort them, them then slowly things heat up and you both end up having an emotional deep sex. This person thinks sex is lovemaking and want to do it with you. One of their fantasies is taking you while they are standing up and you lay down on bed, your legs are wide apart and they are there entering so deep you start to moan and yell. They imagine pressing you as hard to the mattress as possible. I see also that they want to throw your legs over their shoulders and bound to you as deep as possible. This person get off of these fantasies, they start stroking themselves until their lips part and they reach their climax. I see also that after doing so they feel super shy and embarrassed. One of their other fantasies is you carrying their child. Also, I see that other fantasy is that you dressing up and being pretty for them. If you have a curly hair their freaking love it.

(Masculine reading for feminine respectively)

She want you to be inside as deep as possible. She want you to press her to the mattress and bound to her until she reach her climax. She fantasize about setting on your lap and taking you inside. I see also that she want you to spoil her with jewelries, pretty clothes and treat her like a queen. She want her body to be worshipped by you. This woman is so sensual, she want you to rub lotion on her body and take care of her. She want you to eat her out. That's what I'm seeing, sorry if this was too short. Take care💕.

Post date: 14th Mar 2025 Fri

*Feedback is appreciated

[dappled-sunlight-dap]

AO3 author here. I don't normally blog about fandom issues (or anything really) but it hit me close to home so I figured I'd share my two cents.

This actually happened to me! I put a work on hiatus for roughly nine months for multiple reasons, but a big part of choosing that one to shelve for a bit was because it got the least engagement.

I WRITE for myself, don't get me wrong. Everything I post is what I want to see. That's why I write fic! But I POST for community interaction. I wanna talk to folks about my fandom and get all excited and freak out with somebody. Otherwise, what's the point of making it public? Why not keep it to myself?

When you post and get no engagement, it can make you question why you're posting if you're getting the same result as you would from keeping it to yourself. It also makes one feel like slaving over it to make it as good as can be is too much effort for no return - why should I bother making it look nice when I can post a sloppy rush job and get the same result? It's also easy to lose confidence in yourself - do people like it? Hate it? Who knows? And it's just depressing and lonely. Fandom is a community!

I was a new author when I had this dilemma, and at the time I didn't realise that this was just a normal thing, so I took it personally and lost my confidence. That got combined with unrelated problems until I figured the fic was just too much trouble to deal with. I only posted for it again last month because a mutual told me they liked it and that made me happy.

Now that I'm more experienced, I know not to expect much engagement because that's simply how fandom is these days. I happily post my stuff knowing that probably nothing will happen, and I'm okay with that now. I'm just happy to post it! It's more peaceful, in a way - but that doesn't mean it shouldn't change. I can understand not leaving comments - maybe you're anxious/shy, or you're a guest on a fic where only registered users can comment. However, there is no excuse with kudos. Giving kudos is literally as easy as pressing a button. If you cannot be bothered to press a single button for a fic you love, why should an author bother to give you that fic in the first place? We will not know you are there otherwise.

Also, I've seen some folks say they don't leave comments because they're afraid the author will find it weird or get offended or that they feel like they have to post an essay. No! We LOVE comments! We love ALL comments! I have a reader who posts mostly heart emojis on every single chapter of another longfic of mine and I treasure every single one of those comments! This person takes the time to leave something that tells me they're having a good time, and it makes me happy to have somebody to engage with and freak out about a ship with! That is what fandom should be!

And every time they leave another string of heart emojis, a fire lights within me because somebody is enjoying it and telling me about it. I'm happy, they're happy, we're HAPPY!

What I'm trying to say is: fandom is about community. If there's no audience acknowledgement, there's no point in sharing in the first place. So tell your favourite authors how much you like their work! Press that kudos button! Leave that comment, even if it doesn't contain a single word! Hell, just leave a keyboard smash! They will love you for it, no matter how small the gesture is! And you'll love it even more when they make more of that work you cherish! Everybody wins!

"You have to become comfortable with the fact that most people who enjoy your fic will never bother to kudos or comment on it."

Shockingly, I am comfortable with this fact. Lack of kudos or comments doesn't bother me.

That doesn't mean it shouldn't change.

If you enjoy a fic, leave a kudos or a comment.

[lostrologyy]

cw: obsessive behaviour, mention of male masturbation, stalking, stolen panties, mommy issues if you squint (my boy just wants some love😔).

a/n: tysm for all the love my first post is receiving<3 smth short but I hope you like this and know that my requests are open if you wanna share ideas¡! english isn't my first language. not proofread¡! —— brahms!simon riley au masterlist

brahms!simon riley who after some time can't help himself anymore, he has to be closer to you, he wants — no, he needs to touch you, to feel your naked skin under his. his mind is so infatuated by your presence that he knows he would tear out his own heart and give it to you in a silver plate if you asked for it, and soon he intents to find a way to trap you somehow so that you can never leave his side, you're his gift after all, all his.

watching you 24/7 through the gaps of your bedroom the house doesn't satisfy him anymore, his wrist aching from how many times he's spent touching himself at the sight of you doing mundane things around the mansion, especially after you decide that something —or someone— is definitely happening and you start to treat the doll like a normal human being, showing the maternal affection that he's so desperate for.

so he starts stealing some of your stuff, maybe a pretty dress that in his opinion enhances the colour of your eyes, one or two pieces of jewellery — a ring or a necklace that you wear almost all the time, even a pair of heels you seemed to love are suddenly gone. it gets to a point where your underwear starts disappearing too, either from your drawers or the laundry basket, only to find them days later with a strange musky smell and sticky to the touch.

you start getting paranoic at the idea of being the object of desire of some kind of psycho, the anxiety almost forcing you to cancel your date with the cute guy that delivers the groceries every week. that's okay, he would've ended up dead anyway, why would you need him if you already have a real man at home?

but one of these days brahms!simon is gonna get tired of watching you from affar, and not even cuddling your silky dress after cumming in your dirty underwear is going to relieve that itch he has for you and that is growing with every day you spent living at the heelshire's mansion.

lostrologyy © 2025.

[avionvadion]

Saw that one post about Malleus being punished last night. I'm somewhere in the middle.

On one hand, the game never dished out harsh punishments to the other characters. That includes a literal human child trafficker. Yes, I wish the game was more realistic and held the characters more accountable for their actions in the same fashion as what happened in Six of Crows. Hell, that's one of the goals of my own fic rewrite. But since the game never did that before, suddenly severely punishing Malleus would be ill fitting and cruel, especially since he had good intentions unlike the others.

Having said that, I wish that he took more steps to amends for the people he affected besides the NRC boys. The people of Sage's Island seemed too unrealistically forgiving over what Malleus did. He imposed his will and magic on people who did not ask for it because his emotions got out of control. If I were one of them, I would be very pissed off at him, because his magic being tied to his emotions doesn't excuse that. Same goes for all the trouble he caused for STYKS and RSA. I don't think that Malleus should be sent to the Shadow Realm or something, especially since no one else received a harsh punishment like that, but him issuing an apology to those people and inviting them all to the party at the end would've been nice.

As a side unrelated side note, from what I heard I like how you are handling the Fellow Honest shit better than the game. I always found it stupid and even OOC that the characters are completely cool with him at the end. Kalim I understand. But the others? Really!? They are based on villains, shouldn't they be trying to beat his ass for trying to subject them to a fate worse than death? Whereas in yours, he is the lacky of someone who is the head of the operation (yes, that's true in the canon as well, but that never popped up until the end, so it doesn't count) and does try to set things right after Gidel is affected. Kalim gets him out of serving a huge sentence by making him do community service instead. That is a lot more realistic.

Malleus DID apologize. That’s the big thing. He’s one of the only THREE PEOPLE who apologized for the trouble that’s been caused. Him, Riddle, and Vil. Malleus publicly apologized. Plus I wouldn’t say they were unrealistically forgiving. A lot of them were hypocrites and were against Malleus returning to NRC, and Crowley was like, “Oh? Need I remind you of the trouble YOU ALL caused?” In order to get them to shut up.

As for the rest of the island- they explains it as Malleus being a natural disaster. You can’t stop it. You can only take preventative measures. Like getting rid of the Senate. The reason other students aren’t mad? They weren’t involved in the fighting, so they were still dreaming blissful dreams. They found it fun. Were they shocked when they woke up and had to evacuate? Yeah but again- they weren’t involved in the fighting. It’s hardly the first time shit’s gone down at the school either. They’re essentially used to chaos at this point. As long as they aren’t involved in the chaos they don’t really care.

And the fault of Malleus Overblotting is not his own.

It is never that person’s fault for Overblotting. Overblotting is the result of extreme negative emotions/trauma over maaaaaany years. For one to reach such a state, it is because of the failings of those around them. (In this case, the Senate and Maleficia.) When a child is hurt, they should be allowed to cry and wail until they feel better. Most of the Overblotted weren’t able. Malleus literally couldn’t. His magic being tied to his emotions (after the Senate cursed him) means he would have likely KILLED anyone who heard him wailing as a child- so he shut it all down instead, so as to AVOID hurting anyone.

(Added note: I am saying the Overblotting is not their fault. Any cruel actions leading UP to said moment that causes them to finally Overblot, however, is entirely on them, as they are still of sound mind until they hit that breaking point.)

This man was 178 years into a panic attack he never realized he was having because he was never allowed to express and regulate his emotions in fear of hurting and potentially killing those around him, and in that fear of hurting others, in repressing himself and his emotions to the point he no longer knew how to properly express himself, because he is inherently kind and so very gentle- something that only makes his curse all that much more worse, that when he finally gained his unique magic- it was extremely powerful, but very explicitly non-lethal, made with the intent of giving happy dreams, superficial though those dreams may be. Even when transformed as a massive dragon in his Berserker Overblot state, there were so few injuries because Malleus never wished to hurt anyone.

Malleus has faced more consequences than any other Overblotter, but also holds no grudges over it. And, considering everyone watched Lilia DIE- and Malleus having an absolute breakdown over it- would kill most of one’s initial anger, me thinks, unless one lacks a heart.

The staff and workers and all the other adults took the professional route of handling Malleus, discussing things through and coming to a group conclusion.

Malleus has already done more in lieu of apologizing than any others. Why, I don’t recall Leona ever apologizing to all the students whose BONES GOT BROKE from his scheme, or Azul apologizing to all the students he took advantage of, or etc.

And… I think he DID invite everyone to the party?? We just don’t see all of them because that’s WAAAAAAAY too many chibi sprites to animate in a single twst tune.

[leafostuff]

5 out of 5 Customer service [Ft. Lightsum's Nayoung]

Author note: a super fast quickie until i either post another quickie, or whenever i will eventually start working on a longfic, whatever comes first.

Fuck Nayoung is too hot

P.S; i am sorry for the puns

=================================

Let's be clear about something; This will probably wont be your proudest moment.

"Dude just do it, what's the worst that can happen?"

"She calls me a creep and kicks us out of the diner?, thought about that dumbass?" You ask, how are you even friends with those idiots again?

"Come on bro, have fun now, cringe later, and laugh about it even later" your other friend chimes in.

"He's right, if they throw us out, then next time i pay for your entire meal, deal?" Your fourth friend joins the conversation, he knows your weaknesses, so with a deep sigh you shake hands with him, just hoping to get this shit over with

And right on time, the barista comes to your table, a cute pink apron, blonde hair tied to a neat bun on top of her head and a joyful smile that adds to her character, "hey guys, welcome to 'Light sum pancakes', what do you want to order this morning?".

A light smack to your waist by the friend sitting near you, they all wait for this cheesy pick up line, and you've been quiet for too long so backing out is stupid.

Have fun now, cringe later they said, what the hell can go wrong?

"Actually..." A small gulp, "i would like to order you".

If it wasn't for the busy crowd around, you could've heard your friends giggling like crazy about this so-called 'prank', just hope the other customers are not looking at your table, having a free show of a college student making a fool himself at 9:AM.

The barista simply just eyes you up and down, her smile doesnt seem to leave her face when she scans to see any hint of awkwardness in your body and in the end she just replies with a nonchelant.

"Okay"

----------------------------------------------------

Update: it seems like the 'cringe later' part of the process does not seem to be anywhere close.

Her hair is still in the same bun as before, her clothes are now off her body, thrown somewhere on the toilet's (probably) dirty floor, and her smile? now turned into red-covered lips moving back and fourth from the base of your cock all the way to your tip, giving an teasing kiss, a playful and then - she goes back to her pace.

She's insane, you think to yourself, though you will admit that its not really the bad type of insane. Not even 5 minutes have passed and she is already taking your length entirely in her mouth, meanwhile her hands go off from your lap grabbing both of them and placing them on the back of her head, as if she trying to signal you to push her deeper.

She knows you are close, there's no way she doesn't.

Its even worse when she lets her tongue play with your balls, licking around like its her favorite candy while she looks directly at you with a sweet, innocent look, as if she's trying to say to you telepathically 'i know you want it, i know you want to fill this adorable little mouth'.

And eventually, you do

Cum quickly moves up into her mouth, river after river after river of the white, sticky fluid erupts without any form of control from you. Its cursed how she happily accepts it into her mouth, even adding a slurping motion to make your release more efficient to her, and even more pleasuring to you.

"Fuck, this was hot" she says in a casual tone, as if she didn't basically deepthroated you against the wall just now. she rises up to face you, hands swiping up any remains of cum left on her cheeks and beads of sweat that move slowly on her neck down to her collarbone, meanwhile you are still a panting mess, struggling to collect your breath.

She laughs at your situation. "What, don't tell me you already spent, my job states i can't leave any customer...unsatisfied~" she heads over even closer than before, her naked chest pushed over your chest while two fingers playfully move around your dick, quickly getting it once again hard and ready.

A cheeky giggle, "THAT's what i like to see in the morning, so what would like to order today?" she asks, looking directly at your eyes with a wink, however you cant muster up a response before she continues. "Do you want some ASS-cakes for a light meal?" she quickly turns around, having her butt wiggle dangerously close to your dick, looking behind to see your reaction.

"Or maybe...a Heavy meal of some Tit-burgers would be great to feast on?" another spin, now facing your with her hands on yours, taking them to each one of her mounds, prompting you to give a light squeeze. you can feel how it gets her tensed up, excited even to see how her 'shift' is gonna feel like, but she is not done.

"Or maybe..." she now lightly shoves you into one of the toilet stalls, quickly joining you while she locks the door behind her and straddles your lap, your dick inches apart from her pussy as she gives you a wink. "...your little customer would like its meal of its own?"

I think its safe to say it now gotten to the part where you will laugh about it way, way later.

[100493503004422]

some of u can't read & then post about politics based on stuff u made up in your head. & then others of u can't be bothered to fact check anything & take everything those people say at face value. & then all of u are angry and upset about something that literally did not happen. if something doesn't sound right, please google it. I can't read these posts anymore

[hellyrossum]

i've seen multiple posts recently that said something along the lines of "crazy how the new version of helena she created by severing herself hated her almost immediately upon being born" and. i don't think that's true, actually. in fact, one of the things that struck me on my rewatch of season 1 leading up to season 2's release was how long helly holds out hope for both her outie and the people around her to realize how fucked up this whole situation is; hope that if they're made to realize it, they'll do the right thing.

i think about her asking mark after the ball game, "so how're you gonna figure out if petey's okay?", like it was a given that he would try something. i think about her telling milchick as he bandages her arm an episode later, preparing her for the break room, "look, you seem like a smart person. don't you see how fucked up this is?"

and i think about the action she took that landed her there. how desperate she was to get that message to her outie, hoping that if she saw that desperation, she would let her go.

i think about the registration request that spurred it. how helly's response to learning it was denied wasn't "oh. she doesn't care". it was "my outie wouldn't do that". (because helly isn't the kind of person who would do that. right?)

i even think about how, when she recorded her ultimatum for her outie, she didn't keep the paper cutter in her lap, the blade looming over her fingers. she put it aside. because the threat wasn't for her outie, not really. she just wanted to talk to her.

helly was born skeptical-bordering-on-cynical ("are we livestock?") and rebellious, yes. but she wasn't a full doomer about her situation from the beginning; if she was, she wouldn't have bothered assaulting the conference room door, demanding they let her out. all of her early lashing out wasn't her shouting in an empty room for its own sake, resigned to the fact that no one would hear her. no; she was hoping, with every scream, that someone would. some part of her, even with all the things that then happened over the first half of the season to grind her down, believed she could reach them, appeal to their humanity, make them understand, make them see her as a person.

and she wanted to believe she could do the same for her own self. she wanted to believe in her outie, the person she was out there. she wanted to believe she was a good person, just... unaware. and she held on to that hope, despite all the mounting evidence... until helena looked her straight in the eyes and told her she was wrong to. until she proved that she was never ignorant, just cruel.

helly is the part of helena that believes she deserves better. helena showed that part of herself nothing but cruelty. and so helly turned that cruelty on her in turn.

[hedwig221b]

Hi! May I ask for stereo fic recs? I am looking for same, where derek doesn't know stiles knows about werewolfs and supernatural world (can be magical or not) and starts dateing him anyway. Thanks a lot!

Hello! Okay, full transparency: I read the ask wrong and found you the reverse trope, where Stiles doesn't know about werewolves, but Derek dates him anyway... Only after the fact did I realize my mistake, then went to search for the fics, and didn't find any... So, if anyone knows any of them, please, rec them in the replies or reblogs!

I'll post these ones anyway, maybe you'll forgive me 😭

This I Can Handle by stileskolpath

"Stiles had to admit, there was something off about his boyfriend. Derek was quiet, brooding, and built like a greek god. Seriously, Stiles questioned every dating choice he had ever made just by simply watching his shirt ride up his back, revealing a tract of flawless skin, pulled taut over ridges of muscle. It made Stiles want." aka that time when Stiles didn't know that Derek was a werewolf and was angsty about it.

I Was Enchanted (To Meet You) by linksofmemories_archive

Stiles turned around, grabbing a tiny pretzel sandwich before looking back to the floor, and locking eyes with someone across the room. This was fine. Things like this happened. You locked eyes and then you quickly looked away and pretended that the other person didn’t exist. Except Stubble McDreamy with the gorgeous green eyes wasn’t looking away and Stiles couldn’t bring himself to look away either.

Did I mention (that I'm in love with you) by dearericbittle (dutchmoxie)

Stiles is pretty sure that Derek Hale hates him, judging by the way he disappears from the room the second Stiles enters. Derek is pretty sure that the entire world knows about his crush on Stiles Stilinski, and that’s why he has to avoid him. For once the werewolf thing isn’t even his biggest secret.

Returning the Favor by aurevell

When Derek peers down into the dark, he finds the worst thing imaginable: his boyfriend, scaling the side of the house like some deranged cat burglar. "What are you doing here?" Derek hisses. Stiles pays a nighttime visit to his boyfriend in secret, or so he thinks. Unfortunately, the Hale family has keener ears than he realizes.

(Mates Are) Magical Bullshit by TheRealDanniX

Derek hasn’t felt his wolf in years. Stiles doesn’t know werewolves are real. Mates are a thing and the Hales are super protective of their Stiles.

Hide by dr_girlfriend

Stiles has been rejected so many times that it doesn't really surprise him when it happens again. Hurts, yeah, because dammit — he'd thought Derek was the one. Heartbreak sucks, and he's not so sure he's going to get over it this time.

Dress code violation by Marishna

Derek wanted to let his head fall back, close his eyes, and drift off into an easy, brain-meltingly amazing orgasm. But Stiles was knelt between his spread legs and was slurping on his cock, making the most indecent noises with his mouth as he sucked and rolled the head of Derek's dick like a lollipop. Derek couldn't look away even if he wanted to.

Bait by CelestialVoid

Stiles is kidnapped as bait for Derek, but when Derek comes to save his boyfriend, he reveals something—something big.

A Treatise on the Importance of Not Ignoring Your Date by LadySlytherin

A tumblr-post-based fic, wherein Stiles and Derek have a meet-cute at a baseball game. Involves a kiss-cam, Stiles' date being an ass, and a hot stranger. Basically, Peter doesn't survive the fire so Laura and Derek never go back to Beacon Hills, Scott's never bitten, Stiles doesn't know about the supernatural, and he goes to NY for college. Go, Mets!

and one of mine,

Wait For Me

"Stiles, we know about your Spark,” Scott looked at Stiles with desperate eyes, trying to convey something. “He is the Werewolf who's been chasing you. You must run. We’ll help you…” Stiles stared at his friend, genuinely concerned for his sanity, because the nonsense he was sputtering was really fucking confusing.

Other fic recs: angsty fics | possessive Derek | historical AU | baby/mpreg | outsider POV | smut | mafia | hurt/comfort | magical!Stiles | Stiles gets kicked out of the pack | BAMF!Stiles + pt2 | omegaverse | witch!Stiles | creature!Stiles | bad friend Scott | pack mom!Stiles | unrequited love | werewolf!Stiles | dark sterek | single parent!Stiles | feral Derek | arranged marriage | Stiles is underestimated | mpreg w/o abo | accidental knotting | jock!Derek | alive Hales | jock!Stiles

[gravitasfalls]

#with tbob being out I was expecting a lot more sympathy for ford from this fandom #…but uh apparently not (via @spirit-dumps)

#SAME! #what the hell guys i thought we were getting over this bullshit #ugh this fandom is a literal nightmare right now (via @jacky-rubou)

#i dont get it #never hated ford #but also never understood the hate for him either #was he supposed to just lie down and be bills toy #its baffling how anyone can hate him #does no one recognize trauma #or ptsd #or the fact he was vulnerable already being considered a freak #even if he is a genius #sigh #i shake my head (via @gravity-falls-fanatic89)

#literally #i've moved past gf at this point but the fandom's ford takes are so fucking bad #bad enough that i still feel the need to post about them (via @ferretwhomst)

#ever since that ford has npd post hit tiktok it was like the world's worst ableists came out to pinpoint every and any of fords flaws #came from npd and his 'narcissism'. narc abuse isn't real STOP IT #then we have the deniers who say he was never abused... hello? (via @firesofdainix)

#<- YEA EXACTLY?? #tbob obviously paints Ford as a victim of manipulation abuse etc.. #but it appears like people have no media literacy anymore.. #either that or they only know the Gravity Falls they've made in their head or something #gf fandom when an abuse victim reacts in a realistic complex way and is traumatized:😡😡😡 #(they only want “perfect victims” and it shows) (via @yourlowkeyidiot3)

#literally I've blocked one billion people and yet there's still more. me when I'm in a victim blaming contest and my opponent is a gravity #falls fan. #clears my throat. anyway. (via @ponyrepress)

#you don’t have to like him but i feel like some of you guys are just grasping at straws atp (via @wesandersonhater)

#i hate tiktok and this tiktok gravity falls Renaissance so fucking bad bc these #dumb stupid braindead takes are EV E R YWHERE ON THERE RN #people aggressively hating ford and calling him irredeemable and the worst person alive as if his literal entire story isnt about redemption #and learning to be a better person and consider those around you more #and that people can change and new generations can break their family cycles #and idk if its starting to leak over to tumblr or if its just naturally coming from both places #but ive also seen some of it on tumblr snd it makes me wanna die #like you do not have to like any character. but saying stuff like that about him is just like...seeing what you want to see in his story #instead of what it actually is (via @putermajigs)

#it's especially bad on tiktok oh ny gosh #don't get me started #like is ford flawed? yes #but maybe can we not say that an abuse victim deserved 'what was coming to him' #like #please #maybe calm down and think rationally for a second (via @scooterscooter)

#hes a flawed man but HE LEARNS AND GROWS FROM THOSE MISTAKES #please im old now #we did this in 2015-6 (via @kastiakbc)

#REAL VRO #he mightve made mistakes byt hes HUMAN yall 😭🙏🏼 #hes flawed and thats what makes his character good and fleshed out imo #he doesn't deserve this SLANDER (via @phone-kisser)

#Genuinely feels like im going insane trying to reason with some of these people #he is flawed!! he is fucked up!! #he is not a horrible person he is not an abuser and he did NOT deserve what happened to him #some of yall also love to paint stan as this little uwu babyboy can do no wrong character while making ford out to be this horrific villain #who ruined his life and i just #i cant with yall #if ur offended by this its about you (via @thendlessfrozenpines)

#who are these people so that i can block them #i swear im going to start throwing hands #can't stand this new wave of ford hate (via @dime-stacker)

…hey guys, can we like…stop hating on ford?? and acting like he’s the worst human being on this planet??? And also stop saying he “got what was coming for him”???? Can we stop that???

Some of this fandom’s takes make me feel like the above (not my drawing)

[jubileebloom]

As much as I appreciate the people defending Ford in the wake of TBOB's release, and discussing the importance of avoiding victim-blaming and being aware of a person's environment, there's something specific that rubs me the wrong way about some of the things I've read.

The thing about abuse is that takes agency away from its victims. This is actually something that broadly applies to different forms of trauma, as I've just been going over in one of my classes on Adolescent Development. My professor for that class specializes in trauma-informing and training, so she has an entire unit on trauma as part of the syllabus, and one of the things she emphasized was that giving people agency and control over their own choices is critical to helping them recover from a traumatic event.

When it comes to Bill's possession of Ford, the lack of control is even more literal. Ford literally has his body puppeted by a demon, and his mind altered as well. Others have taken agency from him to a lesser extent—Stan limiting his choices in education, Fiddleford potentially using the memory gun on him, as another analysis post I can't find did a really good job of breaking down—but it's not as all-encompassing as Bill's abuse, and Stan and Fidds both make better choices later in the series. Bill refuses to.

But I'm getting off topic. My point is, Ford's loss of agency is one of the most crucial pieces of his character arc. It's why he lashes out so strongly when he returns home, against his will, to find that his identity has been stolen. It probably factors into his need to be the "hero", to be the one to defeat Bill. And even though he ultimately isn't that "hero", and he does let the Mystery Shack continue to operate, he does ultimately get more of a choice in the matter. He chooses to go along with the plan. He chooses to go with Stan on their long-overdue adventure.

But there's something else he does too. He apologizes.

Why is that so important? Because in regaining his sense of agency, he also undertakes the accountability that goes with it. He isn't solely to blame for everything that happened to him, or even necessarily every choice he made, but he did make bad choices.

And that's the thing that bothers me about some Ford analyses and defenses. Some people go too far and say that Ford isn't to blame for anything that he's done. Not only is that untrue, but it is once again stripping him of his agency. He is an adult capable of making his own decisions, and ergo capable of making bad decisions. And we need to accept that, without infantilizing him or blaming everyone else around him.

One of the things that compels me so much about Gravity Falls is that is generally does strike this balance pretty well, of personal agency vs. external circumstances. (There's also an excellent analysis post out there somewhere about Dipper and Mabel's agency, how the show doesn't force them to fix the problems of their predecessors or burden them exclusively with saving the world, but does still let them have agency and power in the fight and in Stan's recovery.) There are so, so many things that happen to the main cast that are mostly outside of their control, and also bad decisions that a lot of them have made that cannot be excused, at least not fully, by their circumstances.

And the beautiful thing about that agency is that these characters are also able to use it to become better people, to regain control over their lives, to take back power after it was taken from them. But you have to let them, and that includes letting them be people who messed up, owned up, and worked to make it better.

In fact, I think the reason that Ford is so quick to own up to his mistakes when it comes to Bill is because that's one of the ways he's taking back his power. He's incredibly stubborn when it comes to holding other grudges, but with Bill, he readily admits to Stan and Dipper separately that he's made some "terrible mistakes", to use his words. And he isn't to blame for falling for Bill's manipulation—Bill was the one actively manipulating—but no, he should not have summoned him to begin with. That doesn't make him deserving of anything Bill did to him, but by admitting to the mistakes he did make and working on a way to defeat Bill, it's letting him take back some amount of control in the whole situation. He can't make Bill change his ways, but he can own up to and correct the things he did wrong.

He does overcorrect a bit; I do think he blames himself too much for "falling for Bill's flattery." But generally, I like how he also doesn't try to blame Bill for every single thing that went wrong with the whole portal deal, like he (initially) did with some other situations, especially everything with Stan.

Anway. Let Ford make mistakes. Let him be wrong sometimes. Let him have his agency.

[commsroom]

kepler threatening anne to provoke eiffel into attacking him (and knowing it will work) in into the depths, and eiffel's gut response to cutter bringing up his daughter in pagliacci - don't you dare even say her name, you slimy, stuck-up motherfu- - really stands out in the context of a man so otherwise committed to nonviolence.

eiffel gets angry, sure, and he's impulsive, and protective of the people he cares about, but, say... getting angry at kepler for usurping minkowski as mission commander, or getting angry at maxwell for the way she treats hera, just doesn't have the same connotations. those people are his adult peers (well, minkowski is technically his superior, but he respects her as a friend way more than he respects her as a boss) who can (and do) tell him, "it's okay, back off" and, even if he doesn't like it, he trusts them.

there is something significant about how that gut response, that jump to violence, is a uniquely parental instinct for him; it only happens when someone threatens his daughter. and, crucially, it's never an immediate threat - you can't really say he's just protecting her, because she's not even there. he knows this, and he's embarrassed after the fact. we don't know what "he turns into a bit of a good old-fashioned monster" fully means, but i think, in that, you can see the glimpse of a man who would kidnap his own daughter.

pretty often, i'll see people bring up that eiffel left a voice message for his daughter, his daughter who is deaf because of his own actions, and i think... on one hand, i think it's significant that anne is deaf and eiffel is the radio guy who likes hearing himself talk; it's a perfect symbol of the wedge his actions drove between them. on the other hand, i don't think eiffel leaving a voice message is just a product of the medium, nor do i think it's just him forgetting / another microaggression / etc. i think eiffel loves his daughter deeply, and i think that love is selfish in a way it's hard for him to let go of. i think eiffel feels doomed to be who he is, to say, "this is all i know how to do." i think eiffel knew there was a very good chance that message might not make it back at all, and even if it did... i think there's a way in which it was at least as much for him, for his own closure and finality, than it was in her interests. and if that file transferred over, if he heard it post-memory loss, if that's part of why he knows he needs to try to "set things right" back on earth... there's something about that that stands out to me, both the helplessness and the inability to express his love in the way that his daughter needs. it's the whole reason he's there in the first place.

[h0neybane]

MAGIKEY (TWST AU) BY @quartztwst !!

im going to PASS AWAAAAYYYYY IM SOSO TIRED. BUT ITS DONE. but anyway, more on evelyn...

Evelyn [Magikey User "Luna Luceat"]

“Hurry up, I'm gonna pass out."

Evelyn is an 18 year old girl and has been a magical girl for 4 years, since she was 14. In her magical girl form, she comes off as mysterious and aloof... but she's really just thinking about going home. She has occasionally breached the top 10 of Magical popularity rankings, but she mostly tries to keep to herself, vanishing immediately after her work is done. Oftentimes, she finished things so quick that the public is unaware.

A quiet, sleepy girl who is jaded from her years as a magical girl.

Status:

Mental/Emotional Strength: ★★★★☆ (She's hard to crack since she's used to her job, but her constant exhaustion can become a vulnerability if left untreated for too long.)

Physical Strength: ★★★☆☆ (She's moderately strong as her staff is fairly hefty, and she does swing with it sometimes.)

Stamina: ★★☆☆☆ (This girl is tired as FUCK LMFAO. She uses her little floating platform to move because she doesn't want to actually run.)

Strategy: ★★★★★ (Evelyn is very calculated with her moves as her goal is to get the job done as fast as possible to go home and SLEEP.)

Strengths: Evelyn is very experienced and keeps a close eye on all of her teammates, making sure they can operate effectively. She is especially strong during the nighttime in a full moon.

Weaknesses: Evelyn is constantly exhausted because she only works during the nighttime as that is when her powers are most effective. A daytime attack would leave her extremely vulnerable.

Evelyn lives with her little brother in their childhood home. Their parents are usually overseas on business trips, so they don't see them in person very often. Evelyn's brother is aware that she works during the night time, but doesn't know that she's a magical girl.

Evelyn grew up very sheltered, being homeschooled by tutors hired by her parents. She was very lonely and she didn't really speak to her brother. She accumulated a massive amount of hobbies to pass time, one of those being gazing at the moon on her balcony, wishing for something to change.

Her wish was granted the night of her 14th birthday, with her magikey falling into her hands after gazing at the moon for the nth time. She eagerly and naively accepted, thinking that this was everything she hoped for.

Unfortunately, she soon came to realize that the nature of her abilities forced her to be sleep deprived if she wanted to do anything much outside of being a magical girl. After her second year of being a magical girl, her enthusiasm fully died, and now she just tries to get by until she can go home. (she still really likes her outfit though, LOL)

After a shift as a magical girl, Evelyn will usually rush inside a convience store, grab snacks, pay and bolt home. She hates staying for overtime even by 5 minutes... though, she's willing to grab some stuff for her brother if he asks for it.

Evelyn is technically enrolled in theMagikey Training School, but she rarely shows up to classes. If she does, she's usually sleeping in them, though she doesn't mind a chance to show off once in a while. The instructors tend to leave her alone whenever this happens, as they're aware of how hard she works.

She does try to be nice towards her juniors though. She fetches them treats once in a while.

uncharted lore territory!! i didnt watch madoka magica or anything so idk if this fits in at all so im warning in advance lol. this is adjacent to evelyn's ACTUAL lore within the original canon twst, which is why it's here. i will make a separate post explaining further later on

Evelyn has a secret. One that isn't her being a magical girl. She has not told crowley, nor any of her magical colleagues, and she does not intend to— at least not for now. However, this secret does leave her susceptible to... negative feelings.

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