#if some of you guys valued my lack of focus in those areas then I am going to apologize for letting you down

[atlascash]

I’ve been really ambivalent about shipping Henry because at the end of the day, he does have a slight narcissistic / patronizing tendency, values the journey only if he sees value in the destination, tends to be selfish in his personal life, and is a self - preservation “i’m gonna run and I trust you are also capable of running and if that’s the case I will see you at the exit when I get there” type of guy when things go south catastrophically.

despite that, despite that, I find myself getting more and more invested into the 24/7 bickering and pettiness and facebook poking war between my Henry and @fractaele​‘s Weiss because the world looked at one rich kid from atlas and was like, you know what, we need to add a second rich kid from atlas that annoys her to no end, and that’s perfectly fine with me.

then again, I haven’t written henry as far out as to start writing shipping / relationship headcanons, and I doubt I will at this point in time, but I was just thinking about it earlier today and realized that I am now a lot more open-minded about entertaining ships with Henry.

sure, your character can try their luck with Henry which is honestly a terrible idea why would you ever wish that on your character, but I think i’m going to gently steer my writing to focus on the dynamics of character interaction and attitudes whenever I am given the appropriate opportunity to delve into the dynamic itself.

[cozycottagetarot]

Pick A Pile: How Can You Take Better Care of Yourself?

I did this reading a bit different from my others. It’s mainly based on impressions as I’m only using the images and any text on the cards at face value along with whatever else comes to me. So feedback would be appreciated. Another thing is the piles all have intertwining messages so if you feel drawn to two piles, then by all means I encourage you to check them both out.

Paid Readings (I’ll be updating them again)

Disclaimer: All readings and tarot/blog games are for fun and entertainment purposes only. It is in no way meant to act as or replace professional advice of any kind. You know yourself and what’s going on in your life best so I asks that you trust yourself above all else. Finally please take only what resonates from the reading which may be some of it, all of it, or none at all.

PILE 1

Tarot Cards: 7 of Cups, 8 of Wands, The Sun

Pile 1, the way you can take better care of yourself is by making a decision. With the 7 of Cups I see that you have all these opportunities being presented in front of you but you have no idea which one to go with. I get the impression from the cards that from postponing making a decision or choice, you’re starting to feel the brightness in other areas of your life dim. With the 8 of Wands and The Sun following however, I feel like once you make a decision, results and positive things will happen quickly, bringing you happiness. The Sun has a faint face depicted in it, so I feel like you don’t have to worry too much about unintended consequences. I see this as a sign you are being protected from unintended or unpleasant consequences as a result of your decision. Also, connecting with your inner child may be a way to help you make this decision.

The next cards that came out are: Protection (Call back your power. Cut the cords. Soul retrieval.) Soul Family (Call in your tribe. You don’t have to do it alone.) Anna, Grandmother of Jesus (Seeding the light, laying foundations. Divine plan.) The Ever-Unfolding Rose (Cracked open. It’s happening for you, not to you.)

With these cards I think some of you could be going through a 'dark night of the soul' (read: a very difficult time in your life). You may be feeling like somewhere along the line you’ve lost yourself or your direction as to where you’re heading next in life or what it is you truly desire (any Lucifer fans here because I hear Tom Ellis’s voice in my head haha). You may be asking yourself questions such as 'Why is this the way life is happening? Why me? Who am I even?' But even though it might seem unfair or lacking sense right now, keep in mind that whatever is going on is helping you in some format. Situations within reason of course, using your discernment here is best. It’s truly all about how you tell your story. Another thing is you don’t have to make these decisions on your own. Turn to your family and your friends for help/advice. If necessary, maybe you can seek professional help. If either or those things isn't really an option, you could always try taking some time to nurture yourself and journey inside to help you remember or figure out what’s important to you. When you make that effort to find/listen to yourself outside of the noise of everything else, I think that’s when you’ll find the information necessary to help make your decision.

Remaining Cards: The Hourglass Dolphin (46) — your achievement is only a matter of time. The Three Rhine Maidens (15) — love is a virtue that endure eternally.

The Hourglass Dolphin is all about finding balance between two aspects of your life, typically work and play. Dividing your time and remembering to put EXTRA care into taking care of your basic needs is another thing that’s going to help you find success. I feel like you are in a transitory phase and it really is only a matter of time before whatever darkness that may be clouding your life right now disappears.

The Three Rhine Mermaids talks about a phase in your life coming full circle, and once that happens your hearts desires are going to start materialising in your physical/the 3D.

The North Witch (23) — This card just kind of confirms or reiterates that with patience this dark phase is going to fade.

The Toad Witch (7) —This card talks about gaining wisdom from adversity. Also a secret admirer as well. There were messages of love laced through out the cards but they weren’t clear until now. Similarly, I think this will reflect in your life that after you’ve found stability once things have cleared up, you will find love as well.. or better yet, love will find you. Do keep in mind it might not be super quick… maybe Spring or Summer (depending on when you're reading this).

Self Care Activities Ideas (Homemade deck): Look good; feel good (put effort into looking the way you want), Believe In Yourself, Have a fruit (incorporate more fruits into your diet).

PILE 2

Hello Pile 2. The way for you to take better care of yourself right now is through doing what makes you happy.

Tarot Cards: Ace of Swords, The Sun, The Devil

I actually pulled the Ace of Swords last. Also before I started focusing on your pile while shuffling, the Four of Swords reversed came out.

Thinking of these two cards together, I think you need to pull back and ask yourself if what you’re doing is really the best thing for you. I feel like you guys could be in a really good place right now— at least at face value. The cards have darker backgrounds, except The Sun. I feel like whatever you are doing isn’t really sparking joy inside. Maybe it’s familial or peer pressure related? The life path you’re on right now seems ideal and fulfilling to everyone else, but somehow I feel like deep down inside it doesn’t feel that way. You may feel chained or held back as shown by The Devil. Looking at The Sun and The Devil, they came out together side by side. I feel like this is more family related meaning parents, parental figures or mentors. They may be trying to look out for you by telling you to study a certain topic or take a certain job because it’s safe, when what you truly want to do may be a little bit more risky. So even though you’re playing it safe right now and have things to celebrate, you may not be able to shake the that unsatisfied feeling inside.

The next cards that came out are: Warrior Woman (Have you answered your deepest calling?) Play (Have fun. Celebrate. Don’t be so serious.) Break The Chain (Ancestral patterns. Healing. Rewriting the future.) Transformation (Things are changing at a cellular level. Deep healing.)

All the figures in these cards look like they’re in their power. It makes me think you may be ignoring or avoiding stepping into the energy of your higher self. I kind of had the though fear of backlash pop into my head, and while it is a valid fear, I don’t feel like it’s something you have to worry about a lot. I feel like you need to schedule more time for yourself in general as well. You can’t ‘fight’ for other people all the time, you also have to ‘fight’ for you.

I’m just noticing something about the placement of the cards. Warrior Woman has a sword and is placed right next the the Ace of Swords. Break The Chain is right next to The Devil, and the sun is shining in Transformation and Play, in the same position as the one in The Sun… As I was saying, I feel like you need to just take a moment to connect with yourself. Ask yourself what is it you truly want and begin rewriting your future*.

*This is the part where I let it be known I need people to practice life coaching with so if you’re interested you can message me. 18 years and up only though.

Remaining Cards: The Siren (14) — In the treasure of a day, light is thrown on what could be tomorrow. The Stripped Dolphin (30) Good news, flowing through the ether waves will answer your prayers.

The Siren Is mostly about observation and not forcing connections. The Stripped Dolphin is about good things happening for you, especially by surprise. It’s also about new beginnings in any area of your life. However there’s also a message about not getting caught up in many opportunities, so if you were drawn to pile 1 as well, I see this as a sign to check out the pile as well.

The Silver Moon Witch (2) has a message of being able to see progress by the next full or new moon. However this card advises you to choose carefully when it’s the right time to go with the flow versus ‘swimming’ against the tide. Relating to above, journey inside yourself to figure out if you are taking the right course if action by choosing to stick with the path you’re on versus yelling plot twist and doing something different.

The Full Moon Witch (18) has two sides to it. On one hand you can expect ‘heartfelt’ plans coming to fruition, but on the other hand emotions may be running high and words that aren’t meant may be said. This another one of the moon phases cards, so you may find during the full moon you may have disagreements with your loved ones but once it starts to wane, disagreements may also reach a resolution. I think this relates to the The Silver Moon Witch card as well, so maybe before or during a full moon may not be the best time to bring up anything that may cause a disagreement?

Self Care Activities Ideas (Homemade deck): Journal, Get Creative, Listen To Music (there may be messages in songs for you)

PILE 3

Pile 3, you guys have been giving me hell from the moment I sat down to pull cards for your reading. From focusing and interpreting to editing. Everything was a mess and I’m assuming you a significant part of your life maybe as well? Or your headspace at least.

Aside from my struggles with your reading, based on the cards, I see you need to focus on yourself.

Tarot Cards: The Chariot, The High Priestess, Queen of Wands reversed.

Starting with your Tarot in no particular order, you have The Chariot, The High Priestess and Queen of Wands reversed. The Queen of Wands is my ideal (you) card. When it’s reversed, I see it as a sign [you] are not embodying the energy of your highest self and/or something in your life is out of balance. Both The Chariot and The High Priestess have black and white polarities, so I see it more as you needing to put yourself back into balance. Something may feel hidden from you, though you’re not really sure what and you want to push forward but it’s just not really happening? On the bottom of the deck is the 9 of Swords which notes to fear, depression, anxiety, etc and is needing to release those emotions. Obviously it can be more complex than it sounds, but I’m hoping you get the idea. Brain-dump came to me. Maybe you need to do a brain-dump and survey/assess your ‘kingdom’ so you can flip that Queen of Wands energy around and allow your chariot to race onward. The next cards that came out are:

The Crumbling (What are you clinging on to?) —> Do you need to release anything? Material items, a goal, a belief, way of life, or maybe just the act of trying to have it all together?

Boundaries (Where do you need to establish better boundaries?) —> Do you need better boundaries with yourself? Habits? People? Enviroment? School/Career?

Share Your Voice (Come out of the cave. Persecution. Expression.) It’s time to step into the limelight, because the world is your stage. Maybe you’ve been hanging back and suppressing who you truly are, but now it’s time to step forward into a new role… a you role. You don’t have to go from stand in actor to lead role over night, but do brainstorm and take baby steps daily to get there.

Keepers Of The Earth (You are not alone. Ancient ancestors stand beside you.) Take the meaning as you will, but I see it as a message to look for support in unexpected places. Maybe it’s an online community of people who can relate to you. Maybe it’s a book, article or video. Who knows, it could even be a friend or family member you didn’t think could relate or help you out. Remaining Cards: The Kraken (38) — Your success and happiness lie within you. The Great Sea Monster (37) — To accomplish you dream plan and believe.

The main theme of The Kraken is release. Good fortune/luck will come to you by delving into your subconscious mind to free the conscious. Returning to nature and the things that bring you inner joy. Good fortune coming in small waves which eventually grow into big ones.

The Great Sea Monster is about taking action and again, freeing your conscious mind by looking into your unconscious mind. Also there is more than one way to solve a dilemma, you just have to search the right way. The Immortal Witch (4) — new beginnings are happening for you, and your desires are on their way to you although it might not appear so currently. (Kind of like planting a seed. It’s growing though we can’t see it until it burst through the soil). The Fairy Ring Witch (9) — mental and physical communication. Connecting with or making friends with similar skills or talents. Self Care Activities Ideas (Homemade deck): Tend to yourself, Slow and steady, Get creative, Read a book (maybe a self help book relevant to what you're going through).

[yostresswritinggirl]

Albedo. I just rolled him and finished his quest.

I would love to talk about travelling with him, or at least being someone who brings in the ingredients for alchemy. Someone who goes out of their way for him and gets the best. Maybe the only gardener in Mondstadt to grow alchemical roots and grasses.

I'm happy for you, rolling the cute alchemy boyo ywy I only rolled in his banner to get Bennett in five rolls I'm sorry Albedo, my primogems are for Xiao and Hu Tao- *shot*

Back to business! I really, really like this cute idea awww thank you for distracting from the angst fics in my head haha (TUMBLR DIDN’T SAVE IT PROPERLY AND SO THE POST IS HORRIBLY SHORT WAIT- FIXED IT WOOHOO)

Albedo's Personal Botanist

Background

Most ingredients in alchemy usually come from ores and liquid ingredients formed by chemistry methods. Stuff like Tuttia, Bismuth, all that shindigs-

So while plant life can be useful for alchemy, not everyone recognizes its utility straight away, and provide for the common plants for arrangements rather than scientific inventory

I can imagine that you'd be a normal gardener at first but very passionate of their properties.

Might be a Dendro vision wielder too, the Dendro archon loves those who wield the power of knowledge, more so when they use it on nature.

You carry with you a lil book about all the plants and shrubs that you've personally cared for, down to their finest detail and properties. But you're a gardener, not a master of Alchemy, so some parts of the notes you couldn't really figure out yourself.

The first time you met Albedo, he was around a year into staying in Mondstadt. He was forced to go out and take a breather because of his workaholic schedule, and instead of relaxing in a bath, he ended up drifting to the market area to get more ingredients local to Mond.

Unlike the other flower stalls, he was pulled into yours because of the wide variety of your wares. Roots, grasses, shoots, plants you couldn't just find outside of the walls.

You were tending to your mini greenhouse in the back and left your botania book on the shelf outside, and this LIL SHI- Albedo, having no proper training for social interactions, straight up just opened that shit and read it all.

"Oh, hello there, mister- HEY, THAT'S MY STUFF, WHAT THE HECK"

Flustered, confused and alarmed, Albedo tried his best to quickly reason with your garden-spade-wielding self. And with his pretty boy self, you managed to calm down and listen.

You may or may not had smacked him with a bouquet of horsetail for good measure.

"Such vast knowledge and detail orientation, why waste away your talents in selling productive fauna when you can wield them into something more?"

Master Phytologist of the Knights of Favonius acquired!

Working with Albedo!

Your greenhouse in the Knight of Favonius HQ is most definitely connected to Albedo's laboratory! And very spacious too.

More than one occasion, you've seen the Chief Alchemist casually sneaking around the area, plucking a Flaming Flower or scraping dandelion seeds from the pot while you were busy tending to other flowers on the other side of your area.

65% of the time you caught him red-handed and you will be met with the rare sight of a fumbling, queasy Albedo.

30% of the time you just find out something is missing after checking inventory for the day, usually ends up with you hunting and shouting for Albedo. Because the guy seem to have a sixth sense as to when you find out his thieving adventures.

5% of all of that, Kaeya would be the one stealing from your 'safer' floras to woo a random citizen in Mond. And as a master of botany, your precious babies are always in tip top shape. Top quality bouquets all day, all night.

Those moments are the ones Albedo hate more than getting smacked with your spade. Those are your flowers, and by association, his. Grown to their maximum potential by your calloused yet gentle hands FOR HIM-

Kaeya: *reaching out to pluck a perfectly healthy glaze lily*; Albedo: *his short ass of a shadow looming over him*

NOW IT IS HIM WHO WIELDS THE POWER OF THE GARDEN SPADE

The atmosphere of your work area is significantly different from his own messy laboratory. The glass walls and roof that lets in just the right amount of sunlight, with a perfect view of the scenic landscape of Mondstadt and beyond.

When Albedo reaches a wall on his research, he picks up his sketchbook and just- waltz in to your workshop through the door connecting your workspaces.

The fresh air, the soft kiss of the sun, your humming, it was all a symphony of heaven concocted just for him.

He’ll find himself sketching your babies, dozen or more times you are included.

Your notebook’s illustrations are mostly courtesy of him, and he greatly basks in your pure admiration of his drawing.

To help him focus, you once took on the great task of organizing his laboratory, to no avail. Even if you manage to fix and align his inventory, it’s gonna go back to chaos after three days minimum.

It’s okay tho, it’s normal for him, more excuse to visit you-

Guilty, he wants your spacious and refreshing greenhouse and often asks for a redesign of his laboratory to share similar workspace with you.

Acting Grand Master Jean had to decline this idea just because it costs more than a million mora.

He’s definitely gonna sulk in your greenhouse after that, back leaning on the warm glass wall as he does nothing but sketch you and your plants the whole day.

Don’t stop him

Just admire the pout

Actually Working with Albedo! (Finally)

Whenever Albedo discovers/explores a new area, you’re always sure to tag along whether willingly or by force

YOU BET YOUR FROZEN ASS YOU’RE COMING WITH HIM TO DRAGONSPINE

DEFINITELY BY FORCE

I imagine that despite being his assistant/student, Sucrose and Timaeus are more focused on research and the application of Alchemy, so they’re not much of the resource gathering type. That said, Albedo is very thankful of your existence, it’s a breather to his already full schedule.

Albedo is both considerate and inconsiderate unconsciously : While he may run off to experiment on the traveler and leave you scouting the area yourself, he doesn’t willingly set you on fire from the inside.

Every time he comes back to camp after finishing the step by step experiment with/on the Traveler, he makes sure to check up on how you are doing.

TAKE NOTE: Our prince is very occupied and busy with his own work a lot, so he’s never really seen you in action when you go out to get the the materials he needs-

So he is purely horrified when he saw you hanging off the cliff with nothing but a rope around you to keep you safe, carefully investigating a petrified tree branch up close.

Suddenly, elevator.

Again, Imma bet, he’s gonna be accompanying you in all your expeditions after that. He’ll need to know where and how you acquire every ingredient outside of your greenhouse.

Does it require you to climb a mountain? Are there any Hilichurl camps nearby? Maybe mobs that are attracted to that type of flower?

He would be very attentive of your inventory reports and would recognize if a dangerous gathering journey is near. He’ll be right there with you.

Violetgrass x1000

He’s gathering more than a month’s worth just to make sure you don’t go back to make that dangerous trip. It’s very impractical, but let him rest his heart.

You and Albedo: Resource Gathering Expedition; Other Knights: Outdoor Dates Disguised as Work-Related Outings

Flower crowns are good and all but have you heard of flower bracelets?

Omg so cute hhh imagine a Flaming Flower Stamen bracelet for his Dragonspine expedition- it’s not gonna last forever but it’s so precious he’s definitely keeping that shit even when the heat already dissipated from it gah-

“Paimon wonders, what’s that thing around your wrist?”

“A flame bracelet, made to keep the cold away.”

“Woah! Sounds very useful! Sure would be handy for exploring, you think we can borrow it-”

“No.”

Something angst-y: Albedo has yet to make a Dendro affinity potion and he’s really, really devastated about it and himself. You’ll have to forcibly pull him out of his self-deprecation, force him to get a breather.

Overall, Albedo greatly appreciates not only your utility but also your consistent company. He values your tenacity and comfort, sharing unadulterated curiousity as you both venture the great unknown. There’s a lot of stuff he can pray about to thank whichever archon has graced you. And despite his Vision lacking the function to actually help in the advancement of his research, he is now thankful for it, for he has found with it a greater purpose: Ensuring the safety of his precious Gardenia.

I CANT BELIEVE IT, THIS THING WAS 30 TIMES LONGER BUT TUMBLR DIDN’T SAVE THE DRAFT PROPERLY AND HAD TO GET EVERYTHING BACK THROUGH MEMORY, AND MY MEMORY IS B A D. I’M SORRY I KNOW YOU JUST WANTED TO TALK BUT IT ENDED UP BEING SUPER LONG AND LOOKS LIKE A HEADCANON THAN ANYTHING, MY FORMATTING IS REALLY LIKE THIS AAAAAAAA- I hope you enjoy ywy I like your brain, it brings good ideas and gives me good ideas too!

[alolowrites]

Gymtleman

Summary: Nothing irks you more than a random guy ruining your workout session. Luckily, Bakugou sets him straight.

Author’s Note: Helloooooooooo! Yes, it is me popping in with a new fic after almost two months of NOTHING (the dabi story was pissing me off, so i had ignore it ripppp). So this story was born from a video on saw on TikTok where a guy urged men at the gym to be more respectful toward women during their workouts. While I never encounter any harassment at the gym, there are others who have >:( 

Inspiration for the title came from a comment section on TikTok. Thought it was pretty clever. Please enjoy ^_^

Warnings: Slight harassment; maybe a few curse words but this is Bakugou so...

Word Count: 884

Gloves? Check. 

Water bottle? Check. 

Wireless headphones? Check. 

You close the gym locker and hit the main floor, determined to get in a good workout tonight. As you walk toward the treadmill, your eyes glance around the place. It’s not as packed as the dreaded peak hours where one must fight to the death for the coveted treadmills or weight benches. You value your life and avoid that bloc like the plague. 

Besides, there’s no fuss nor drama during the night sessions. Only a calm vibe that radiates throughout the gym floor thanks to the chilled regulars, or the “night crew,” as you like to call the group. A few stragglers may pop in once in a while, but you would know the familiar faces even while blindfolded. Especially when one has those menacing red eyes that burn through the cloth faster than a sprinter on the treadmill. 

Those same eyes briefly land on you as Bakugou chugs down his water bottle while striding past you. He acknowledges you with a curt nod and slight grunt—nothing more than that. Yet, this silent greeting always makes your palms sweaty and your heart race before stepping foot on any machine at this gym. You swallow your nerves to return the gesture. 

Despite months of crossing the same paths, you know very little about Bakugou. Sure, you know his usual routine or his preferred machines, but you never heard him speak before. His voice is one big mystery that you are curious to unravel. Unfortunately, Bakugou keeps to himself just like everyone else in the “night crew” since personal space is highly respected—a bright side that’s both a blessing and a curse. 

You sigh wistfully, hopping on the treadmill to start your workout. A random man slides on the machine on your left, catching you off guard. He smiles, and you nod stiffly. Right off the bat you know he’s not a regular; his face isn’t familiar, and he’s too close to you. That’s strike one; it irks you, but you act like the bigger person and just ignore him with your music. 

The ten minutes fly by in seconds. You wipe down the treadmill, ignoring the man’s wandering gaze on you. Just walk away, you tell yourself as you head over to the dumbbells. Your heart skips a beat when you spot Bakugou standing nearby, his ripped biceps pushing through the pain from his grueling set. He grits his teeth and casts a quick glance at you from the mirror’s reflection—Bakugou lets you stay.

Either he’s in a good mood, or lady luck is working her magic; you smile and take this as a win for tonight. 

The giddiness wipes off your face when you see the random man again. He lingers around the area like a shark eying its prey, except he lacks any sense of subtlety. You roll your eyes when the guy sneaks a peek at you: that’s strike two. Obviously, he doesn’t understand the whole “no fuss, no drama” vibe, but you do and focus on lifting your dumbbells. 

Eventually, you forget the weirdo as the music blasts through your headphones. You are in the zone, watching as your arms move slowly and in control. Beads of sweat roll down your face to cool down the firestorm soaring along your skin. You push through one more rep before releasing an exhausted but satisfied sigh. 

You bend over for a quick stretch when—

“Damn, that’s a nice piece of ass.” 

You shot up, appalled. “Excuse you?!”

“Think you can bend over a little lower for me, sweetcheeks?”

The random man finally stands next to you and shamelessly rakes his eyes all over your body like a piece of meat. You growl—that’s strike three. 

“What?! No!” You grip the dumbbells with an iron fist, fully prepared to whack the sleazy grin off his disgusting face. “Get away from me!” 

“Oh, don’t be like that—” 

“Oi, you fucking deaf or something?!” 

You nearly drop the dumbbells, snapping your head over your shoulders with astonished eyes. Bakugou spoke. His voice is sharper than the stainless steel barbells and heavier than the iron olympic plates scattered across the room. He stalks closer like a ferocious lion, his red eyes glancing at you momentarily before glaring at the bastard. 

He sweats bullets. “H-Hey, man, I-I—”

“Shut the hell up, idiot,” Bakugou snarls, thrusting his finger hard against the guy’s chest. “Quit harassing them and get the fuck outta here before I shove this dumbbell up your own damn sweetcheeks.”

The guy stumbles over a random kettlebell before rushing out the door without looking back.

Bakugou rolls his eyes and peeks over his shoulder. He locks his gaze at you, catching you off guard; you blink and quickly compose yourself, giving him a slight nod. 

“Thanks for having my back there. Really appreciate it.” 

“Tch, that damn perv was annoying,” Bakugou scoffs. “Bastard should learn some fucking manners.” 

“And some human decency,” you snort, placing one hand on your hip. “Too bad he won’t be coming back, though. You shoving that dumbbell up his ass would’ve been a sight.” 

Bakugou flashes an amused grin, sauntering toward the racks to continue his set. You smile when he returns and stands at a respectful distance. 

Guess chivalry isn’t dead after all.

As always, thanks for reading :D! 

Don’t know when I’ll drop another story though slkdjlfrlfek

[rosafione]

"Come Closer."

title; How Far Will I Fall, 'Till You Catch Me In your Arms

pairing; xiao x reader

desc; you never really lacked the guts for these kinds of things, but before everything else, you valued his feelings, and most of all, his consent. in the end, it still takes two to tango.

a/n; xiao drabble xiao drabble xiao drabbleee now, he might be ooc, im not sure, but this is mostly just an hc if you guys are close— to an extent muahahahahaha

Time was at a standstill for a certain young adeptus.

For someone who's lived a millennia, you'd think two months would only feel like a second. Before, Xiao would not deny the frequency of those moments— of loneliness, and melancholy; Of time spent watching the Guyun Stone Forest and awaiting his time to strike.

Every day that passed was one spent with his guard high, back then.

And yet now, those moments seemed as if they existed in a far different time. A time before the Traveler plunged Osial into the ocean, stripping them of their adeptal duties and eliminating a cause for Liyue to seek their guidance.

Though possibly the greatest disparity from that time could be that.. It was a time before you— before he had you by his side.

You were a mortal, one he considers to be above average, yet a mortal, nonetheless. You still had times where your humanity catches up to you, and you are left vulnerable in the hands of the evil that lurks among the lands of Tevyat.

Xiao met you at your weakest; But he watched you grow into your shell.

It wasn't as if he regarded you with any special fondness. At first. You were no different from any other mortal that walked Liyue— a fragile creature he was tasked to protect, and a being he needed to steer clear off, lest he harm you with his adeptal energy. (Death from the sheer force of it was no stranger to him. He does not want to carry another human's death on his shoulders.)

Xiao had a complicated relationship with the mortal realm. It was not disdain he harbored for humans, only vigilance and curiosity.

Their realm and the adepti's were two worlds apart.

What differed you from the mortals is that you crossed that distance. And somehow, you stood before him, right in the in between.

He wonders how you do it; You've always been unyielding in his presence. He knows you are aware of his prowess, but every time he looks at you, there is nothing but fondness and adoration he sees in your ancient gaze.

You offered him Almond Tofu almost every day. It makes him anticipate your troubles, yet you do no else other than indulge him in small chats, and silly escort commissions into the mountains or the forest. At times, you'd just watch him feed on your offerings.

He knew it was a bribe, the Almond Tofu. You did it almost everyday— Until you didn't have to.

At some point, Xiao stopped denying your presence. He's warned you enough— He respected you enough to know that you were an adult, and you could think for yourself. And though the moments you'd offer him were memories worthy to look back on, he dares not seek you out.

But he didn't have to. You always came to him first.

His relationship with you only grew from there. It was no earth-shattering occurrence, that's for sure. It was a parasite that he didn't know had been rooting itself into his being so deeply that he cannot bring himself to part with it.

Though if not a shocking event, it was still a crushing revelation.

"Good day, Xiao."

The lady-in-charge, Verr, seemed to be searching for something before her gaze flitted back to his. "No Y/N today?"

"Y/N is off to the harbour for a few days," he'd answered instinctively as he walked to the usual table prepared for him near the kitchen.

"And you didn't come with?"

His slit brows raise in confusion. "Why would I?"

"Oh dear, my apologies. I just figured—" a bashful chuckle leaves her— "Since I see you guys together all the time."

He frowns at the memory. It was a realization that started his resolve to put some distance, yet it was also the beginning of your.. lengthy travels.

When your few days became a few weeks, his resolve easily yielded to his eagerness in meeting you once more.

-

Time used to pass by swiftly, but nowadays, a year spent with you feels as if he had already spent half of his life.

He sighs, shaking his head at himself. "Reduced to just standing around. How absurd."

"If you think standing around was such an absurd concept then why do you still reject the idea of travelling with me?"

The familiar voice wills him to rip his gaze away from the scenery.

He knows it is yours— your steps, your scent, your weight, your presence. Xiao feels you the moment you stepped into the inn. Yet he does not move, run, nor show any sign of the buzz that vibrates from inside his chest.

Yet when he sees you, you are beautiful, safe. Ephemeral.

He forgets every aching minute he's spent in the eight weeks you were not in his vicinity.

Time runs again.

Still, everything about you is slow; The way you walk carefully to his side, the way you drag your fond gaze from his, to the scenery before you.. The way your hair flows and dances with the evening breeze.

He knows. The wind has always favored you.

"Ever since meeting the Traveler, all you've talked about is travelling," he chose to say.

"With you."

"What?" he frowns.

"I mean that yes, all I've talked about is travelling—" you chuckle bashfully, averting your eyes away from his— "That is, travelling.. But with you."

His eyes widen, then hardening with a purse of his lips, before he turns to glare into the distance. "My answer will not change. I cannot leave Liyue."

"And my reply is the same," you sigh. "The place does not matter. As long as we'd be together."

It is a sensitive topic, and an inevitable taboo.

There was a line neither of you should ever cross— a line he's put there himself, and one he disdains all the same.

Silence ensues. It is a frequent occurrence, ever since you first brought up the prospect of adventuring. Stubborn and troublesome. Xiao finds himself needing to track back in conversations just to figure you out.

Mortals were such complex creatures.

And yet it was so easy for you to read him like an open book. Or so he assumes. You always knew how you'd deal with him. Even Xiao knows that it is no easy feat.

"You're always like this," he grumbles.

You do not answer, and he settles for the tranquility, all the tension leaving his body; And for once, after two months, he felt as if he could actually breathe.

He wonders how much longer he'd be stuck in this area of torment and bliss. Wonders how much longer he'll continue to drag you into it.

Wonders when you'll snap and just leave him all together.

He frowns grumpily at the thought.

-

"Can I?" you ask.

Xiao looks into your eyes— swirling hues that didn't return his gaze, far focused on a lower part of his face. His lips, he realizes. Your gaze had been focused on his lips.

The epiphany wills a streak of crimson to rise to the tips of his ears, and his own focus is stolen away by the pink appendage that wets your lips.

"Your question is incomplete," he says instead, feigning ignorance.

Shaking his head, Xiao crosses his arms and forces himself to concentrate on your eyes. Only on your eyes.

Maybe then, he wouldn't get so distracted.

"Regardless of how your question would go, I don't understand why you need my opinion," he huffs, grumbling. "It's your body. You would know it best."

You press your lips together. A gentle, bashful smile spreading on your face as a fond look emerges in your eyes. "My apologies," you chuckle. "It was the wrong question to ask."

He faces you to narrow his eyes at your suspicious behavior, but he's far too distracted by the way your hand lifts, trailing from the side of his neck to gently cup his cheek, and his breath hitches, eyes widening.

Warmth radiated from your touch. Xiao knows better than to reject such touches any longer when with you. So he leans into it, presses his head closer to your palm, closing his eyes and exhaling in surrender.

"What i meant to ask was," he opens his eyes to look at you.

Your gazes clash. They meld and melt into each other as you slowly raise yourself closer and closer — or perhaps it was him who'd been leaning down.

The hand that traces the tattoo on his right arm, as well as the other that caresses his face with an aching gentleness, reels him in. enthralls him. It lures him into succumbing to your presence, and his body goes through that familiar feeling of softening under your touch.

"May I?" you whisper.

Suddenly, you are leaning in more eagerly— more determined, as if with a clear intent in mind. He thinks he understands your words enough now, swirling in his mind, goes through consideration, and the one practical response he could muster with his focus in a jumble is to deny you permission.

He gulps soundly; He can't bring himself to.

Xiao thinks this is it, watching you move in as he struggles to keep his eyes from fluttering shut. He thinks it would be this moment— this moment in which he dooms the unspoken rule between mortals and adepti. Dooms the contract he's worked so hard to fulfill in service of Lord Morax, now Zhong Li. He'd doom your friendship, or whatever it is you've offered him up to this point.

Yet even then.. Even then, he doesn't say no.

He stays quiet; Waiting. Wanting.

It's funny— the mortal language, how one could switch out a letter, and a word would seem that much different.

It was true, nonetheless.

Xiao waits. Xiao wants.

He wants the closeness, the intimacy— the affection you provide. He wants your lips to meet his just to know if it is as soft as the rest of you is. He wants to see if a kiss— curious, like a child— truly lives up to the countless tales told by the experienced. He wants to know.. If you will give him those answers.

His amber eyes meet yours. He does not breathe, as if doing so would scare you away. As if doing anything would give you a response he does not want to give.

It is enough. Your noses bump for a second, his eyes fluttering closed; Your scent wafts from beneath his nose, crisp burning incense, molded into the fresh smell of the forest that is brought about by the wind.

He curves into you, a single thought shaking him to the core, making him tremble - so utterly pathetic.

'Please..'

Your lips do not meet.

And suddenly, there is too much air between you and him.

Xiao opens his eyes to see you trailing back, fidgety— you looked like a walking contradiction, twitching fingers trying to cross the distance, gaze darting between looking away or staring regretfully at his lips.

There was a crimson hue staining your cheeks, he noticed.

"Why.." he whispers, then catches himself.

The inside of his chest strains from all the emotions he has to keep hidden— all the emotions he has to keep denying.

Disappointment. Loneliness. Exhaustion. Desperation.

Xiao wants.

-

You couldn't believe you almost kissed him.

It was a heavy violation of contract— not that you two had ever agreed to one, but it was an unspoken compromise. It was a truth you both knew, yet continued to ignore.

So that this— whatever this was, could survive.

Archons, you almost laid it all to waste!

(Either way, any decision would still leave you with regrets, had you continued or pulled away.)

"Ah, would you look at that!" you laughed out loud in a panic, perhaps to cover up the tense atmosphere. "I did it again! I asked a question without completing it, yeah? Guess it's a really bad habit on mine!"

Xiao does not answer. You spare him a look. And you wish you hadn't.

He looks dejected, disappointment and frustration showing through his slit eyebrows and wide eyes.

As if your choice was a surprise to him.

As if he wanted you to continue.

As if.

You couldn't deny you wanted it, too. Whatever he could give you. And, more.

You mentally scold yourself, knowing you're already stretching Xiao's patience with your friendship as it is.

You have to remind yourself that Xiao is immortal, and no matter how humane he may seem, you cannot trouble him with matters such as the turmoil in your heart.

It's really hard to say anything, when all the thoughts that circle in your head is how wonderful he is. How amazing he makes you feel. How he is all you've ever wanted for the whole year since you've realized you'd developed a certain affection for him.

"Sorry, Xiao," you say, throat tightening with bubbles of emotions threatening to spill. "I should.. Go away, for some time."

( And the first thing Xiao thinks is to dejectedly reply 'Again.?' )

"No," he says all too quickly, detaching from the banister.

"No?" you echo, confused. "N-no what?"

"Stay," he says, but it is not a command. Not from the adeptus. It is a soft request; A wavering plea that reaches to you soul.

"Where?" you ask. 'How far?'

"Here," he whispers now. "With me."

You push your luck, craving just a bit more patience from Xiao.

"Close?"

You could see Xiao consider. His eyes showing his heart, but his silence showing his mind.

He gives in.

"Close."

That day was the nearest you've peered, held and embraced Xiao's soul, moving closer, and softly leaning your forehead on his, clenching onto the white fabric of his shirt as he loosely wraps an arm around your waist— under the watchful eyes of the night sky.

There is still a distance that Xiao dares not cross.

And for now, maybe it's enough.

[land-of-brains-and-chocolate]

here’s the entirety of the paywalled businessinsider article interviewing charles beacham about marvel’s racism in staffing and editorial decisions! 

In the early 2010s, Marvel's comics business focused on a diverse slate of new characters, but by 2017 comic sales had fallen, which resulted in the exit of editor-in-chief Axel Alonso.

Three former Marvel editors and one current editor told Business Insider that in the years since, Marvel has recommitted to nostalgia and classic, mostly white characters, often at the expense of some of those diverse characters like Miles Morales, a biracial teenage Spider-Man.

That shift was guided by an editorial department that lacked diversity, particularly in leadership roles. Today, there are no Black staffers on Marvel's editorial team of about 18 people, and only two people of color, Marvel confirmed.

"My voice and what I brought to the table wasn't valued equally," said Charles Beacham, one of two Black editorial staffers to work at Marvel in the past five years.

Have a tip? Email the author at tclark@businessinsider.com or DM him on Twitter @TravClark2.

Visit Business Insider's homepage for more stories.

Miles Morales was the character who pulled Charles Beacham into the world of comics.

Beacham was studying journalism at Brigham Young University, in Utah, when he walked into a comics shop in 2011 and picked up a copy of Morales' first appearance. Beacham, who is Black, said he was amazed to see Morales — a teenage Spider-Man who has a Black father and Puerto Rican mother — in its pages.

"When I was growing up, I always wanted to be the red Power Ranger, and the other kids would say I had to be the black Ranger," Beacham said. "The same thing happened with Spider-Man. They'd say, 'You can't be Spider-Man because Peter Parker's not a Black dude.' Seeing Miles Morales made me wish I had that as a kid."

Morales propelled Beacham into comics and into Marvel itself, where he worked as an assistant editor.

"I didn't have job prospects when I moved to New York in 2013, but the goal was to work for Marvel because of Miles Morales," Beacham said. When he landed a job at the company the next year, he loved it.

But Beacham, now 31, was living in New York City with a child on a $38,000 salary. He said that after three years as an assistant editor, from 2014 to 2017, without a promotion, he was ready to leave. It wasn't about the money as much as the lack of a path forward.

"I thought I'd be at Marvel forever," he said. "If they had promoted me I'd probably still be there and surviving on ramen."

Beacham is one of two Black editorial staffers to have worked at Marvel in the past five years, the company confirmed. The second Black staffer, also an assistant editor, left this year after five years without a promotion or raise, a person familiar with the matter said. The editorial team of about 18 people now has two people of color.

"I want to be back there all the time," Beacham said. "But when it comes down to it, my voice and what I brought to the table wasn't valued equally."

Disney-owned Marvel has grown into a cultural force that extends beyond its comic books and into movies, video games, and other media. The comics are the foundation for it all, including the Marvel Cinematic Universe, which has become the highest-grossing movie franchise of all time.

The stories that Marvel's small editorial team helps shape are central to popular culture in the US and around the world.

"Who works on these stories can help broaden them," said Regine Sawyer, the founder of Women in Comics Collective International, which helps to spotlight the comics work of marginalized people.

That was clear from 2011 to 2017, when Marvel ushered in a new era for its comic books under then editor-in-chief Axel Alonso, who is Mexican American.

New and diverse characters like Morales took center stage instead of Marvel's decades-old classic characters, who were primarily white. These characters inspired new fans like Beacham, and continue to inspire new fans as they make their way to other media.

But by 2017, Marvel's comic sales had fallen. Marvel's president of sales, David Gabriel, publicly blamed it on diversity. Alonso exited the company and was replaced by a white man in the role of top editor. Marvel reversed course.

Now, in the aftermath of the killing of George Floyd and the protests that followed, Marvel is promising to once again introduce more diversity to its ranks and its stories.

Marvel chairman Ike Perlmutter sent a letter to employees on June 18 saying the company would "support more Black voices."

And in a memo to staff sent July 6, Marvel's president, Dan Buckley, outlined three areas of focus for Marvel moving forward:

broaden Marvel's creative landscape, which includes identifying "what has traditionally prevented us in the industry from recruiting and fostering more BIPOC talent."

build a foundation of lasting growth by "examining our internal culture and rebuilding our long-term process for talent recruitment, retention, and outreach to communities of color."

create new initiatives and expansion opportunities by "looking to explore new projects that will enable us to reach and represent an even broader audience."

In addition to Beacham, Business Insider spoke with two former Marvel editors and a current editor. Aside from Beacham, the Marvel insiders spoke on condition of anonymity to protect their stance at the company or job prospects. They said they weren't confident in Marvel's latest initiative.

"The guy who made a commitment to diversity and wanted to try new things was fired," a former Marvel staffer said, referring to Alonso.

'Spider-Man with an asterisk'

Alonso led Marvel through a bold era during his time as editor-in-chief starting in 2011, helping to establish a diverse slate of characters.

Jane Foster was the new Thor. Sam Wilson, aka the Falcon, a Black character, replaced Steve Rogers as Captain America. Riri Williams, a Black girl, was introduced as an Iron Man-like character named Ironheart. Kamala Khan, a Pakistani American Muslim teenager, was the new Ms. Marvel.

It wasn't a new phenomenon in comic books. Characters are regularly passing on their mantles, at least for a while. Dick Grayson, the first Robin, was DC's Batman for a time in the early 2010s, for instance. Sam Wilson wasn't the first person to take over as Captain America. This era at Marvel Comics, however, was notable for how it emphasized diversity.

But by 2017 — Alonso's final year as editor-in-chief — the company's print sales had plummeted (Marvel in 2014 said that Ms. Marvel's solo title was a top seller digitally, but digital comics sales aren't released to the public).

"What we heard is that people didn't want any more diversity," David Gabriel, the vice president of sales at Marvel Entertainment, said that year in an interview with ICv2, a website that covers the comics business.

"I don't know that that's really true, but that's what we saw in sales," Gabriel said. "Any character that was diverse, any character that was new, our female characters, anything that was not a core Marvel character, people were turning their nose up."

What Gabriel meant by "core Marvel character" were the classic, decades-old characters being sidelined for new, younger, and more diverse characters.

Seven months later, in November 2017, Marvel's Alonso stepped down from his role and was replaced by C.B. Cebulski, a white man who faced controversy when he was hired after admitting to writing comics in the early 2000s under a Japanese pseudonym.

"The comics that [Alonso] made me think I could work in comics," Beacham said. "But when a Latinx guy is scapegoated for diversity and replaced by a white dude, and the sentiment was that Marvel was 'getting away from its roots,' what does that mean?"

In a statement after his 2017 comments, Gabriel emphasized that "our new heroes are not going anywhere."

But in the months between that retailer summit and Alonso's exit, Marvel introduced an initiative for editorial staff that had been discussed internally for some time: Phase out the familiar superhero codenames for some newer, diverse characters and give them their own, two former assistant editors including Beacham said.

Marvel confirmed to Business Insider that it had previously considered stripping Morales of his Spider-Man title and giving him a new name, but has no plans to do so right now. Marvel added that it discusses status quo changes for all of its top characters.

Today, some of the classic characters have been thrust back into the spotlight. Steve Rogers has taken back the mantle of Captain America, and Thor is a man again. Miles Morales shares the Spider-Man title with Peter Parker, the original Spider-Man.

Morales has grown in popularity beyond comic books, having starred in Sony's Oscar-winning animated "Into the Spider-Verse" movie in 2018 and in a coming PlayStation video game called "Spider-Man: Miles Morales."

Beacham said he was glad that Morales continued to be a Spider-Man.

"It would have made him less important," Beacham said of Morales' losing the Spider-Man title. "He becomes Spider-Man with an asterisk. It takes away the power for kids who relate to this character."

'There's not a lack of people who can do the work'

Now, Marvel's comic-book slate is once again largely focused on classic characters, though characters like Morales and Khan remain. And there are some comics starring diverse characters from creators of color, like Ta-Nehisi Coates' "Black Panther." But their stories are in the hands of an editorial department run by an establishment of white male leadership.

"There's not a lack of people who can do the work," said Yumy Odom, the founder of the East Coast Black Age of Comics Convention, which helps to showcase the talents of creators of color. "But it's about how receptive the industry is to them. I can think of 20 creators, mostly African Americans, who would be ready to work at Marvel."

Women faced an uphill battle at Marvel as well, the Marvel editors said. A female former assistant editor told Business Insider that she was never promoted or given a raise from her $30,000 salary in her three years at the company. She said she got promoted within a year at her new company, a different comics publisher.

Marvel declined to discuss employee salaries.

The Marvel insiders said a notable exception was Sana Amanat, who is Pakistani American and a former editor. She is now Marvel's head of content and character development, a leadership role outside the editorial department.

'There's a whole cohort of young readers'

Marvel has significantly bounced back from its 2017 sales decline, which might suggest that the refocus on its classic characters reeled longtime readers back.

Of the top 100 best-selling comics of 2020 so far, 69 belonged to Marvel, as of Wednesday, including four of the top five, and the company has accounted for 41% of comic sales this year, according to industry website Comichron. Three years ago, Marvel was lagging behind DC, its biggest competitor.

An example of the start of this resurgence was the first issue of Marvel's "Amazing Spider-Man" relaunch — starring the original Spider-Man, Peter Parker — which ranked fifth in 2018 out of all comics, according to data from Comichron. In contrast, when Marvel launched a series called "Miles Morales Spider-Man" in that year, the debut issue didn't crack the top 200 best-selling comics.

"People of a certain age have a connection with Peter Parker, not Miles Morales," a former Marvel staffer said. "Years from now, that may be different."

The current and former Marvel staffers Business Insider spoke with said they were hopeful that readership could broaden, particularly now that characters such as Morales and Khan are being introduced to audiences in other media like movies and TV. Khan is to appear in a Disney Plus TV series and the upcoming "Avengers" video game, for instance.

There are signs that the comics industry is going through a larger shift in how people read and who is reading, which could also spur change.

Last year, comic sales through the "book channel" — which includes chain and independent book stores and online retailers like Amazon — surpassed comic-book stores for the first time, driven by the increased popularity in children's graphic novels, according to an analysis by ICv2.

Milton Griepp, the chief executive of ICv2, said at the New York Comic Con conference last year that the shift could usher in a new audience for superhero comic books.

"There's a whole cohort of young readers that are being introduced to this medium and may graduate to other forms of content in the comic format over the course of their lifespans," Griepp said.

Beacham said: "Marvel needs to figure out the next stage of its core demographic because it could change rapidly."

[impaladolan]

Control Freak - Grayson Dolan

summary: after Choff production lines CEO (finally) retires, a new boss makes his way into Y/N’s world..

warnings: sexual references/undertones

a/n: another Grayson series, i can’t help myself :)) enjoy!! also, ily <3

Ugh, he was in one of his moods again.

The office cubicles were hastily bustling with nervousness and terror. At any given moment, the infuriated man, so-called boss, will be bursting through the double doors with a dark red tint across his cheeks and maybe even smoke out of his ears, if you're lucky.

Mr. Kidman has never been good with the whole "patience is a virtue" thing, he's a ticking time bomb at all hours of the day. Nothing ever satisfies him, nor remotely excites him, he just finds something to yell and scream about at some poor unfortunate soul and then continues his merry day. But today, he was furious. He had no empathy for anyone, even his favorite two little secretaries that wear push-up bras like a side-job. Apparently someone had brought him the wrong breakfast order and everything just went downhill from there.

Unlike all the others, you seemed calm and composed amongst all this mayhem, but only because you, and maybe two others, knew that 'Old Angry Kidman' was finally retiring. Yep, freedom at last. Well, unless the new guy, or girl, has terrible anger issues.

So you just sat at your clean and pristine desk, typing another draft and adding it to the plentiful piles saved on your work computer, while soundlessly chewing on a mint piece of gum that substituted for the absence of a tooth brushing the morning of. But your quick finger movements were hushed once Mr. Kidman, as predicted, flew straight through the doors with his signature fiery red face and sweat droplets dotting his thinning hairline. "Every body fucking up! I've fucking had it with all of you." He demands, majority of the room raising from their seats with caution. With his teeth tightly gritted and his lips in a fine line, he swirls his index finger in the air, motioning to all of his terrified workers.

"If it were my fuckin' decision, I'd have each and everyone of you pieces of shits fired and on the streets in point ZERO-TWO seconds. You all are fucking lucky that this is my last day here, son's of bitches." A man of few nice words, that he is. The nicest thing you've ever heard him say was thank you, and that was two years ago. His vulgar and aggressive attitude truly brings the worth of working this job down. If it weren't for the good pay and lack of any other remotely feasible company jobs, you would've quit a long time ago.

But alas, you still endure the inevitable fiery reign of his obstructive wrath on the daily.

-

Dolan is his name.

The new boss, that is. That's the only information you and the rest of the staff knew, besides that he's a male. He hasn't shown up for work yet, or even formally introduced himself. Hell, you don't even know what he looks like. But you were certainly nervous for his arrival.

What if he's just like Kidman, or worse?

It most certainly made you nervous to think that this new guy could ever be worse than Kidman. You were hoping and praying that the he'd at least value his workers and employees.

Everyone, on your office floor, was anticipating the days and hours of his big arrival. No one was certain of when he was going to show up, or if. But nonetheless you were one of the most nervous ones. You held the highest title among your coworkers, except CEO of course, but you were pretty up there when it came to business standards. Everyone seemed to like you as well, your kind nature and natural non-brutal attitude sure did make up for other people's. Of course, you didn't really have an office of your own, because you enjoyed the time spent with the people around you. You truly loved the relationship and humbleness you gained from it. At least you weren't a snotty bitch, right?

There were plenty of little rumors around the workspace that you'd become the new (and improved) owner of this whole entire manufacturing company. Specifically a well known fashion line, Choff. The floor that you, and many of the other leading workers, were on was basically the information database. But from time to time, you'd find yourself strolling through the other, more clothing/model filled areas. Just to see how things were flowing.

Which is actually what you're doing in this moment; running your fingers along the racks filled with hangers that held all the fitted clothing items. It seemed like fun to be down here, measuring and sewing the different outfits to the men and women, but it also seemed stressful. Everyone's always in a rush, with their exploding New York accents and their flailing around all over the place. It's pretty amusing to watch from afar, but you'd be scared to get in anyone's way. They'd probably just run you over and continue their day unaffected.

With that thought in mind, you abruptly come to a stop when you run into the muscular backside of someone, startling you from your stare on the tiled flooring. You uttered a few apologies, taking a step back and straightening your pencil skirt from its newfound wrinkles.

"Lost, darling?" Your eyes trail the floor before you until they're stuck on a pair of shiny dress shoes, attached to a pair of long legs and a broad chest. Your eyes finally landed on the remarkably handsome face, of someone you didn't quite recognize. It wasn't uncommon to stumble across unknown employees, but could it be him?

"Frankly, no." You shortly answer, studying his jaw-dropping features. He was indubitably perfect, without a doubt. With a nicely trimmed beard decorating his beautifully shaped jawline, and big hazel eyes that stared right back at your own, he seemed unearthly. Like he was God's favorite angel sent down from heaven, just to show you a glimpse of what it'd really be like inside the pearly gates. "Are, um, you?" You weren't exactly nervous, just mystified. His recent smile grew into what seemed to be a smirk, while his right side's dimple grew more prominent.

"I'd like to say that I'm not, but I sadly am." He shrugs with a chuckle, sending a wave of unbeknownst pleasure through your ears and fluttering down your spine, until the ends of your toes were satisfied with his deep and raspy voice. "Could you maybe show me around this gigantic place? I've been in need of assistance for the last hour or so." He questions you, dropping his shoulders back and letting his eyes roam your stature before drifting to the interior of the long hallway the two of you are currently standing around in. "I very well could, but I have a dreadful meeting to attend to within the next five to ten minutes." Actually, the meeting was in fifteen minutes. You just simply wanted to see the man's reaction, which wasn't what you though it'd be;

"Perfect, I'll be in attendance for that as well. If you'd so kindly lead the way, I would most appreciate it." He smoothly negotiated, stuffing his right hand, which was tightly wrapped with an expensive looking watch, into his pocket with another grin. He seemed very eloquent with his words and the way he addressed things, it has to be him?

"Do you mind me asking of your name?" You began as you started your trek back to where you came from, your heels quietly clicking from beneath you as you lead the way, him following close behind. "Dolan, Grayson Dolan." He quickly answered. Indeed you were right in thinking he was the new (and maybe improved) CEO of all Choff productions. "New head guy?"

He only nods, to yet another one of your endless questions. "And what's your name, darling?" He asks as the two of you stop at an elevator, his quick hand beating yours to clicking the slightly worn down button. "Y/N Y/L/N, direct head management under you." You relay before boarding onto the empty elevator, the doors closing moments after the two of you were stood side by side. You fidget with the ends of your skirt, staying as calm as possible under his stare that you couldn't help but shrivel under.

"Under me, huh?" You almost gulped at the sound of his double meaninged phrase. Smart guy, hm? Your heart started beating a bit faster the more you thought of his little statement. Your mind became a whirlwind of visuals and fantasies before you could even stop it. Just those two little words had made you all sorts of a mess, and he hasn't even done much of anything. "Don't get too worked up darling, we have a meeting to attend." He chuckles as he steps off the elevator that had opened only seconds ago. You just scoff, your cheeks reddening as you stride right past him, maneuvering through the expanse of people that had just left the staff room, in order for the upcoming meeting to advance.

The moment you were sat in the room and time had passed to where everyone had finally shown up, you felt that lingering feeling of eyes on you. A pair of hazel eyes to be exact, who was sat far from you at the end of the long table. For meeting him not too long ago, he sure did seem comfortable around everyone. It was entirely too soon for you to be liking him already, better yet imagining different scenarios with him as someone boringly rambled. You decided that you'd forget him for the time being and focus on your job, as much as possible.

Though it would be granted as difficult as time moved on..

"That's the conclusion of this meeting. I thank everyone for being here, and I especially appreciate your appearance, Mr. Dolan. I'm happy to say that things around here will continue a lot smoother than it did in the past. And I know most others would agree." Burt Wallace, one of the coordinators, concluded after standing from his seat to dismiss everyone with a nod. While everyone dillydallied in conversations with one another, you in the other hand, hustled straight out of that room and towards the same elevator you had used earlier. The moment you clicked the button, the doors opened wide and you hopped in, tucking yourself in the corner while you gained your breath. You smile to yourself at the successful 'escape' from any questions or perhaps a witty comment from a certain CEO on the loose.

You sigh happily to yourself, watching the doors close again until a hand is stuck between them, pushing them straight back to reveal the man you were somewhat avoiding. "Care if I join you again?" He asked, but he still entered otherwise, clicking one of the many buttons to make the door close. "Did I have a choice?" You almost scoff, feeling his shoulder brush against your own as he stood in the same spot he had previously stood in. "Nah, not really, but I like to seem like a little bit of a gentleman." He answers, the roll of your eyes substituting for the internal scoff that you hadn't let out. The two of you rode in silence for what seemed to be eternity, only the faint sounds of your breaths being heard. As soon as the elevator door clanged and opened, you made a beeline out of there and hustled toward your organized workspace like there was a snake chasing you.

"What's the rush?" Ana Rita, one of the only tolerable women in this entire building, asked as you ducked under your desk. Even though you hadn't looked back to check, you had a feeling he'd follow you, or worse, ask you to meet him in his office. You weren't exactly sure why you were hiding from him, he seemed pretty nice. But he truly intimidated you. Not in a competitive way, more so a physical way. "And why the fuck are you down there?" The redhead crinkled her brows as she looked down her long nose at you. "Just, shhhh!" You bellow quietly, covering your pursed lips with your index finger.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck. Hot man, six o'clock! Get your ass out of there!" She violently whispered at you, frantically tidying herself for the "hot man," presumably Mr. Dolan as you had predicted, approached your desks. You tightly hug your knees from under your desk, praying to god that he wouldn't somehow see you. "After noon, sir, may I help you?" You cringe at the seductive tone lined in her voice, something that Mr. Dolan unfortunately probably gets a lot of. "I'm looking for Ms. Y/L/N, I have some issues to discuss with her." Yet again, his girthy voice made you sigh with comfort. It's extremely calming to listen to.

"She's actually right here—" Ana, the little asshole she is in this moment, points straight at you as you plead with your eyes and shake your head vigorously. You suddenly see his handsome head peer over at you, his brows scrunched with confusion. "Uhm, cords were messed up, gotta fix them." You awkwardly chuckle, patting the outlet box stuffed with all your monitor's cords. You bring yourself out from below your desk as the two stared at you, dusting your front side and settling down in your office chair with a nervous smile.

"I'd like to have a word with you, in my office."

(masterlist)

[rachelbethhines]

Tangled Salt Marathon - King Pascal

This is, in my opinion, the worst episode of season two and I’ll get into why under the cut. 

Summary:  The group is stranded on an island after a storm. The tiny islanders, the Lorbs, mistake Pascal for their mystical ruler; the chameleon loves the adulation, until he’s expected to protect his people from a vicious monster.

Since When Did You Learn How to Sail, Rapunzel? 

So they hit the storm and Rapunzel starts doling out orders like she always does, but like, she logically shouldn’t know what to do here. She’s only been out of the tower for a little over a year and sailing takes time to learn. There’s been nothing to establish beforehand that she’s learned this stuff. If anything Eugene and Lance should be the one giving the orders here as their backgrounds could feasibly included sailing as they’re world travelers. 

Here lies part of the problem with Rapunzel’s characterization, and I’ve already touched upon it back in The Alchemist Returns, but Rapunzel can’t and shouldn’t be magically good at everything. She can be incredibly skilled in some areas, like acrobatics and the arts, but she also should have lapses in knowellage just due to a lack of experience and expertise. 

A female character isn’t ‘weak’ just because they have to sometimes rely on other characters. They shouldn’t be written to be magically better than the male characters just because they got boobs. That’s not empowering; that’s condescending. Women are people, and real people have varied skill sets and weaknesses that match their interests and backgrounds. 

So Why Is the Island Tropical? 

According to what few maps we see in the show (and yes, they are inconsistent, but bare with me), Corona is somewhere in Northern Europe near an ocean or sea. According to dialogue at the end Forest of No Return, they’ve been traveling east, and according to the map in Rapunzel’s Return, the Dark Kingdom is north east of Corona specifically. Meaning that they must be somewhere in the northern Baltic Sea right now, which is not tropical at all.  

This is part of the problem with Tangled’s ‘throw it all into a blender’ style of approach to worldbuilding. If traveling the world is going to be a major plot point for a season then we kind of need to know where things are in relation to each other. Climate should help determine such things, but if you’re all willy nilly about culture, which climate affects, than nothing is going to make sense. 

My only guess is that the island is suppose to be magical so it has a different climate to the surrounding environment, but that’s just a headcanon and not actually stated by anything in the show itself. I shouldn’t have to be doing the work of the writers for them. 

So Why are We Separating the Guys Again? 

Back in Freebird the writers needed to get Cass and Raps alone in order for them to have their bonding time and a heart to heart, but here, it’s just lazy writing. This is a Pascal focus episode and it requires that Rapunzel interact with lots of other characters, so splitting the group up doesn’t benefit the story in any way. 

The writers just didn’t want to fool with writing for eight characters at one time (I’m not counting Fidella or Owl, though logically they should be considered characters in their own right and not just props for the story, but oh well); which begs the question of why they wrote in so many characters to begin with. 

It’s also an excuse to make the girls seem more competent than the boys, which, as I explained above, is not real ‘girl power’; just bad writing.  

Let’s Talk About the Outfit Changes and How Marketing Affects the Story 

The entire point of this episode and indeed this whole island arc, is just because of marketing stipulations. Every season is required to have one Pascal focused episode and one Max focused episode, because Disney marketing wanted to sell cute animal toys. Another requirement of the story was outfit changes for the mains so that once again marketing could sell dolls and variants and such. It’s why Rapunzel, Cass, and Eugene get so many alternate costumes, while Lance doesn’t despite being with them on this journey too. 

Which is understandable to a point. American television animation has always been about selling toys and merchandise. It’s how these shows make most of their money back. If there’s a show that you enjoy and you want to support it being on the air, you need to buy the toys. Priating doesn’t do jack to the bottom line, it does not affect ratings as most people don't own a nielsen rating box. (an increasingly outdated method to calculate popularity anyways) But whether or not the toys sell is the make it or break it point of every show. 

However, there are better ways to implement these stipulations then how Tangled goes about it. You want to give Max and Pascal focus? Then actually give them focus that relates to the overall plot and not just meaningless filler. You want to the characters switch up outfits and have that tie into the story? Then make sure it fits all of the characters and don’t drag it out more than it needs to be, because this island arc it too damn long. 

And you want to know what the biggest kick in the teeth is? There’s barely any merchandise for this outfit. There’s like one paper doll set and that’s it. The toys for Tangled the Series did not sell and they stopped merchandising the show after season one. Now add in the rating plummet during seasons two and three, and we’re incredibly lucky the show didn’t get canceled outright because it’s by all accounts a financial flop. 

I suspect there was an upfront contract that guaranteed them three seasons no matter what, and that’s the only reason it managed to escape the chopping block and why Chris and Ben weren’t let go sooner from the project. Because Chris at least no longer works for Disney. He left as soon as production ended on the show. 

The False God Trope is Over Played 

I can find examples of this trope dating all the way back to the early 60s, and arguably even sooner than that. However around the 80s, after Return of the Jedi hit theaters, the trope was inescapable in children's media. Every cartoon since has had this same plot shoved in somewhere. It also became paired with the ‘liar revealed’ trope (the bane of my existence) more often. 

And that’s what this is; an incredibly stale take on an incredibly by the numbers story. I kept waiting all episode for the other shoe to drop, for some sort of twist on the usual cliche, but it never came. 

This episode is boring, aggravatingly so. It’s the main reason why it’s in my bottom five. Because while you could argue that really little kids wouldn’t be as over exposed to the trope like an adult such as myself, the writers themselves desperately tried to distance themselves from that targeted audience. They’re the ones that yell ‘it’s not a kid show’, while feeding us crap like this, and I just have to roll my eyes. 

Tangled doesn’t know who it’s audience is. It should be pre-teen girls, but the creators want shoot for an older audience, teens, while marketing wants this to be a preschool show. So the series careens wildly all over the place in terms of tone and winds up satisfying no one. Older audiences are frustrated by childish filler such as this, while younger audiences are exposed to themes and messages that they probably shouldn’t be. I know several parents who have stopped their kids from watching the series because they don’t approve of the toxic values the show prometes in its incompetence. 

It bungles so many of its attempts to be mature because it won’t actually explore the complexities of the plot. Either cause it’s wasting too much time on filler, it can’t explore it’s more disturbing elements to their natural conclusions due to the audience, or it just mistakes ‘shocking’ as deep. 

King Pascal isn’t mature or deep. It’s pointless guff that adds nothing while actively taking away from more interesting storylines. I say skip this dreck and go watch Doctor Who’s The Aztecs instead if you want to see this trope done right with maturity while still being all audience friendly. 

It’s also has the added bonus of featuring two well developed strong female characters who hold their own with the equally capable guys while actually developing all of those characters simultaneously, and was co-produced by an actual woman. If they could pull that off in the early sixties than Disney and Chris have no excuse today. 

This Is the Same ‘Lesson’ As Pascal’s Story

In addition to being boring and unoriginal, this episode is also redundant. Rapunzel already learned to show appreciation to Pascal back in season one. Why are we having her relearn this lesson instead of giving Pascal a new arc? 

It’s not even consistent as Rapunzel only acts this way towards him in his focus episodes. It’s also not a lesson in behaving condescendingly in general because Rapunzel goes on to be condensing to everyone anyways. 

So Did We Really Need This Episode Just to Introduce the Island and the Firefly? 

Yes both of these things come into play later, but not in any significant way. We’re here on this island for four whole episodes and it only comes back for one in season three, and only to further a side character’s story; not the main plot. Also the Firefly will help resolve the plot in five episodes time, but it’s just given a reintroduction there anyways. Why couldn’t this information have been condensed down and repackaged into another episode entirely? 

That’s what I mean by poor pacing. Tangled is not efficient in its storytelling. It drags things out only to give us rushed endings or no resolutions at all. Stop drop feeding info in the backgrounds of filler episodes where it’s not relevant and actually give us stories that focus on the plot, dang it. 

Once Again, Rapunzel is a Hypocrite 

Just like in Pascal’s Story during season one, Rapunzel is quick to show consideration for her oldest friend but can’t be bothered to admit fault to a teenager that she abused. One that she knows is currently facing horrendous and inhumane treatment inside of a jail cell right now and still does not give a damn. 

You can’t claim Rapunzel is a kind and compassionate person so long as Varian and his story exists.You just can’t. Because no matter how you slice it, being a minor means that there is a power imbalance in how adults and the government treats them. A power imbalance that is constantly being exploited by the mains. 

Conclusion

You won’t miss anything other than the shipwreck itself if you skipped the episode. Which is aggravating because it means it’s technically necessary to the on going story without actually adding anything substantial to it. It’s like the series opener all over again, only made worse by how boring and redundant it all is. Worst episode of season two; and now I just want to go watch Doctor Who instead. 

[misswildfire]

Imagine if you got injured defending your crush

This one stemmed from the idea of Reader is hanging out with their turtle crush and gets injured trying to defend them. What will be the boys reactions? Lemme know what you think!

You couldn’t help the big smile that had been on your face for the last 10 minutes. Your favourite turtle had dropped by your apartment after patrol, wanting to hang out. While you loved hanging out with all the boys, it wasn’t often you got to hang out with your crush one on one. Since the weather was nice for once, you decided to hang out on your roof. Despite their protests of it being late, you didn’t mind, you were a night owl anyway, and what’s a little lost sleep if it meant you got uninterrupted time with your crush? It was one you were never likely to act upon, valuing their friendship too much to risk making things awkward if they didn’t return your affections in the same way. So you kept it to yourself, looking forward to those brief moments you could spend time with them. It didn’t matter, tonight was perfect anyway.

You shouldn’t have tempted fate. Or the universe. Or was it luck? You thought to yourself as you watched your favourite turtle take a defensive position in front of you. Several purple dragons had dropped down onto your roof weapons out.  Apparently it had been too much to ask to have some alone time with your favourite guy.

You watched as he moved with ease and grace, quickly dealing with any Purple Dragon who was stupid enough to get too close. His attention was split between the enemy and defending you, so he didn’t notice a Purple Dragon sliding onto the roof, having climbed up the side of the building and approaching from the turtles blind spot behind him. The blood in your veins turning ice cold, you realize what would happen if you didn’t do anything. Not wanting to shout and risk distracting him and giving the Purple Dragons an opening to do further damage or injury, you did the only thing that made sense at the time. You charged the offending Purple Dragon hoping to distract him enough or shove him off the roof or something. You weren’t really sure what your plan was, all you knew is that the idea of your turtle getting hurt because of you was not acceptable in your books.

Your plan, or lack there of, quickly backfired on you when the Purple Dragon, having some martial arts training where you had none, repelled your advanced, shoving you to the ground harshly. Your lack of training really became evident when you landed badly on your wrist, not being able to stop the scream of pain that ripped free.

Leo

A quick glance your way showed him that you weren’t bleeding, and didn’t need immediate attention. His grip on his katanas tightening, his awareness focused down to his enemies, taking them out swiftly with ice cold efficiency. He always practiced the belief of trying to use non lethal means, to check his strength as to not cause injuries more than strictly necessary. All that went out the window though the moment they laid hands on you.

A small part of him felt exhilarated at not having to hold back his strength with the humans and he relished it for a brief moment as he took the rest of the Purple Dragons out. When the last one fell to the ground, the light fading from his eyes, Leo sheathed his swords, quickly making his way over to you. Not wanting to remain in case more enemies came, he scooped you up and quickly moved out of the area. He wouldn’t risk you getting hurt again. Once he felt that you were both a safe enough distance away, he put you down on your feet and began examining your arm. It wasn’t until he heard you call his name softly that he realized he had been silent the entire time. He only had one question on his mind. “Why?”

“Because I couldn’t stand the idea of you getting hurt, especially because of me,” you reply softly. The blue banded turtle shakes his head. His scales and shell provided him with protection that you did not have, and he has years of training to know how to handle situations like this. You however, had been reckless and had been hurt because of it. “It looks like neither of us like seeing the other hurt.” His heart soared at the idea, did she return his affections with the same fervour? There was only one way to find out. Leaning down, he pressed his lips to yours, smiling when you shyly returned his kiss. Perhaps he should be thanking the Purple Dragons for tonight. They had given him a quite wonderful gift.

Raph

Looking back on it later, Raph supposes he’s never felt as much anger as he did in that moment. It exploded out of him, forcing him into a punishing pace. Forget checking his strength, he was trying to hit them with as much force as he could. How dare they hurt you. They would pay for their sins. If the Purple Dragons had any sort of medical coverage, it would quickly be maxed out by the end of the night with all the injuries he was leaving...if they were even alive. He wasn’t checking and nor did he care at this point, his anger forcing his attention to one thing: eradicate the enemy.

His breath coming in harsh pants, he stood there for a moment surveying the area as the last visible Purple Dragon dropped at his feet. Making sure there were no others, he turned, sheathing his weapons in his belt. Dropping down beside you, he quickly gathered you in his arms, mindful of the arm you had fallen on. “Are you alright?” his eyes quickly roam your body, needing to make sure you hadn’t been injured anywhere else.

“I’m fine,” you reply, trying to smile through the pain. You didn’t think anything was broken, to which Don would later confirm. He nods before standing up and making a hasty retreat. He didn’t want to take any chances that more Purple Dragons would show up. He kept moving until they were in the sewers, away from prying eyes before he allowed you to stand on your own. He stayed close, his hand hovering nearby, his desire to make sure that you were okay strongly warring with his fear of ever accidentally hurting you with his strength. You were so small and fragile compared to him.

“What were you thinking out there?” He demanded, anger and fear bleeding into his words, giving them a bite he didn’t really mean. You had been reckless and had been lucky you hadn’t been hurt worse. “You could have been killed! What would I have done then?”

You try not to let the anger in his voice affect you, you know he’s acting this way because he’s scared and angry. At the same time, you aren’t going to back down either. You had made the right choice and would do it again in a heart beat. “And what do you think I’d do if you were killed or hurt, huh? Did you think of that?”

It was as time stood still, both of you silently looking at the other, the only noise that could be heard was both of your breaths, ragged and harsh. The moment shattered as Raph roughly pulled you do him, his lips crashing down on yours, claiming your lips in brutal kiss. Maybe this injury had been more worth it than you had originally thought. Winding your arms around his neck, you try and pull yourself closer, never wanting his lips to leave yours.

Don

His mind has always been a chaotic place, many different thoughts going at the same time, working on a project, or developing a new theory. Rarely is it ever silent or focused on one thing. Seeing you injured brings his mind to a screeching halt, all of his mental processes focused now on one thing: Take out the enemy as quickly as possible so he could get to you and make sure you were safe. With the last Purple Dragon hitting the ground in front of him, it takes a moment for his brain to remember that you were injured. Once it does, he switches immediately into Doctor mode, running to your side. Deeming you safe to move, he picks you up and starts to bring you back to the lair so he can examine you more thoroughly in his lab.

“Don, Donnie, I’m fine!” you protest squeaking as he picked you up bridal style.

“How could you be so foolish?” he admonishes gently, careful to keep any anger out of his tone. “I have training and armor and my scales make my skin tougher, so I don’t get injured as easily.” You smile up at him as he continues to walk, knowing that he was going to start rambling soon unless you did something to stop him. Wrapping one arm around his neck, you pulled yourself up and placed a chaste kiss on his lips. The blush on his cheeks when you pulled back was well worth all of the pain that you had experienced tonight.

Mikey

The moment he heard you scream in pain, his playful banter that he loved to use to distract his enemies stopped. His brothers may accuse him of being a goofball, of not having the greatest focus (okay, so meditation and him didn’t get along to well, it was just so boring, okay?) but what most people failed to realize is when Michelangelo wanted something, like truly wanted something, he could pursue it with enough focus and dedication that rivaled Leo’s. He wasted no time when the last Purple Dragon fell to race to your side, his nunchuks clattering to the floor as he dropped to his knees beside you.

“Are you okay?” tumbling from his lips, his hands hovering just over your body, wanting to check to see if you were okay, but scared to touch you and hurt you further. You could see the panic setting into his eyes, fear that there was some injury he couldn’t see. You squeak in surprise as he scoops you up and begins running back to the lair, only to have to turn around after only a few steps after realizing he had left his weapons (don’t tell Leo or he’ll be stuck doing kata’s in the dojo for the next century). His brain scattered, his only thoughts of getting you to Don to make sure that you were okay, your pleas and reassurances that you were fine falling on deaf ears. Rolling your eyes, you could see that you were going to take drastic action. Pulling yourself up by winding your arms around his neck, you kiss him on the lips, nipping at the bottom lip before pulling back. Your unexpected action caused him to stumble before quickly regaining his balance and stride.

“Now that I have your attention, I am fine okay? It’s just a sprain, it’s really not that bad,” you tell him firmly, trying to ease the fear you could see in his eyes. His pace slowed, coming to a halt. He put you down gentle, and went to back away, but you wouldn’t let him. Wrapping your arms around his neck once more, you pull him down for a hug, trying to reassure with actions and touch since words weren’t working. “I am fine I promise, but if it makes you feel better, I’ll go see Dr. Don when we get back to the lair, okay?” You feel him nod from where he had buried his face in your neck after returning your embrace. It would probably take time for Mikey to be okay after this, knowing that a human is fragile in comparison to himself and his brothers was very different from having that reality shoved in your face, but you were determined to be with him every step of the way.

[ofcloudsandstars]

Celestial Forecast

Week July 13 - 19

Highlights:

On Monday we had the last quarter moon in Aries

The 17th which is a Friday has a big opportunity for healing with Chiron rx sextiling Eros.

Wow this is super late I don't even know what to say but if you knew what was happening in my life you would understand. TBH I shouldn't even make this about my life cause I am sure with these damn transits all of our lives are going THROUGH IT. By now you guys would probably have felt the energy of either Chiron's retrograde or Ceres's retrograde. We are having dreams of trauma we thought we overcame just pop back up in our lives from no where. We are feeling the utmost need to be nurtured and make a loving home or safe space. We are feeling moody as fuck. I mean, what an end to Cancer season. It's only going to be more emotional and dramatic come Leo season. Though it's just mess central this week (we are all going to feel moody and shitty together) some of the lunar transits are helping us with healing, shedding what we don't need and making way for the new lunar cycle to commence.

Notes: Times are set to UTC. Since this is late I did not write recommendations for the 13th and 14th. 

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13th

LAST QUARTER MOON IN ARIES Venus in Gemini trine Juno in Libra ☾♈ Moon Squares Sun in Cancer and Jupiter rx, Pluto rx and Saturn rx in Capricorn ☾♈ Moon Opposite Juno and Sappho in Libra ☾ VOC 15:54 - 17:34 ☾♉ Moon enters Taurus

Energy: You might have noticed that the last quarter moon on Monday was intense yet productive. With the last quarter moon, we are forced to reflect on the lunar cycle beginning with the Cancer new moon solar eclipse that occurred right after the Summer Solstice and how our lives have progressed during this chapter. It's a time to wrap up loose ends and take stock in what we've learned. With the final quarter moon in Aries we may feel that additional push to get things done. The moon was also squaring Jupiter rx, Pluto rx and Saturn rx highlighting inner tensions with inner growth, inner power and responsibilities we need to attend to. It could have been a stressful day if we weren't prioritizing any important tasks that we have been neglecting. With the moon opposite Juno and Sappho in Libra, we could have noticed that new desires and attractions could have come into our lives triggered by events, people or any external influence. Though this day has passed (sorry for posting late again), the last quarter phase will influence this week as the lunar phase wanes into it's crescent.

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14th

Sun in Cancer opposite Jupiter rx in Capricorn Venus in Gemini trine Juno in Libra (Last Day) ☾♉ Moon Conjunct Uranus in Taurus ☾♉ Moon Sextiles Mercury in Cancer and Ceres rx in Pisces

Energy: There is great opportunity for inner expansion, epiphanies and growth to happen today with the sun opposite Jupiter rx in Capricorn. With Chiron rx and Ceres rx this transit's theme can feel intense as we may feel inclined to address any sources of unchecked emotions, hidden trauma and pain which could be brought up from the depths of our soul from this Sun and Jupiter rx opposition. Healing can come with ease with the Moon conjunct Uranus in Taurus that can help bring inner change and shifts to our personal lives. With the moon sextiling Mercury in Cancer and Ceres rx in Pisces we will have the push to reflect on our inner emotional and mental landscapes and understand where we may feel emotionally neglected or in need of care. It may have felt like an emotionally heavy day which is good to take some time away and do some self care. With Venus trining Juno though we may have missed the energy of this beneficial trine, it would have been a great time to channel what you needed to heal or feel whole in your life.

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15th

Sun in Cancer opposite Pluto rx in Capricorn ☾♉ Moon Trines Jupiter rx and Pluto rx in Capricorn ☾♉Moon Sextiles Sun in Cancer along with Neptune rx in Pisces

Energy: Today's energy has the potential to be intense with the Sun opposite Pluto rx. This transit has the potential to bring about extreme change that could result in crises with self-esteem, ego death or a breakdown in character caused by external events. This could be caused by a self-destructive character trait or by someone who is manipulative, dominating and controlling. With pluto's retrograde it could feel karmic and like it's a time to let go in order to be reborn again. It could also bring up memories of the past that you could be holding on to that has wounds or negative habits that have sprung from it and will force you to confront those emotions so that you can shed them away and move on. Things like this will more likely happen if you are stubbornly resisting change or have been engaging in some habit that is destructive to yourself and others. Though this may all sound intense there will be a boost of inner power with the moon trining Jupiter rx and Pluto rx in Capricorn. With the moon sextiling Neptune rx in Pisces we can feel the push to work on our source of faith and spirituality which could be brought to our attention during the course of these events. With the moon sextiling the Sun in Cancer we will feel the incentive to work on any projects that need to be wrapped up or shed and clean away what we no longer need in this cycle.

Recommendations: Cleansing the home, shadow work and clearing out old beliefs you no longer need. Energy work to help raise your magic and energy from within. Reflecting on your magical and spiritual path and seeing what beliefs may no longer serve you. ____________________________________

16th

Venus in Gemini squares Ceres rx in Pisces ☾♉ Moon Trines Saturn rx in Capricorn ☾ VOC 3:21 - 5:19 ☾♊ Moon enters Gemini ☾♊ Moon Conjunct Eros in Gemini ☾♊ Moon Trines Sappho in Libra ☾♊ Moon Sextiles Mars and Chiron rx in Aries

Energy: Tomorrow may feel a bit moody as the overall theme will be influenced by Venus in Gemini squaring Ceres rx in Pisces. We may feel low self esteem, lack of love and a need to care for ourselves. Though this transit may feel unpleasant it's a good time to reflect on what's wrong, what you need in order to feel valued and feel loved and secure in life. It's a good time to do divination to explore your inner world and journal.

The moon will trine Saturn rx in Capricorn making this an excellent window of time to wrap up any projects and tend to responsibilities. You may get a boost of good work ethic especially when it comes to tending to tasks that will help you work on your inner foundations and long term stability. It will do a brief void of course then enter Gemini shifting the mood to a more social and curious nature. It will conjunct Eros which can help us connect to our desires and understand that source of drive from within. Additionally it will be amplified by the fiery sextile with Mars which can be like gasoline to fire with our energy to do things and get stuff done. It's an excellent time to take action. Additionally the moon will trine Sappho in Libra which means there is luck and benefits if you try to strive towards your genuine interests that help you feel more true to yourself. Lastly with the moon sextile Chiron rx in Aries there is opportunity for healing repressed emotions and trauma. It's a good time to make amends with the past and address any emotional wounds we may still be carrying. This can be useful with the Venus and Ceres retrograde square.

Recommendations: An excellent time to get work done and wrap up projects today. Also though the energy may feel moody there is opportunity for healing so the negative emotions that come up could be good indicators or signs to where you need to focus that energy towards. Lastly you can also do healing by focusing on the things in life that make you feel alive and authentic. The Moon and Sappho trine along with the moon conjuncting Eros can reconnect you to a part of yourself that makes you feel whole and true. ____________________________________

17th

Chiron rx in Aries sextiles Eros in Gemini ☾♊ Moon Conjunct Venus in Gemini ☾♊ Moon Squares Ceres rx and Neptune rx in Pisces ☾♊ Moon Trines Juno in Libra ☾ VOC 21:14 - 2:24

Energy: There will be a big push for finding solutions and healing within with Chiron rx in Aries sextiling Eros in Gemini. We will feel the push and desire to examine emotions that we've been suppressing that has been linked to trauma and try to overcome that pain. It will be a very contemplative yet proactive day. The moon will join with Venus in Gemini which can bring a mood of pleasantness, pleasure and harmony. Feelings of how we may feel loved and valued may come up and highlight the themes of inner healing. The moon will also square Ceres in retrograde which can bring about a harsh window of time where areas in our life where we feel a lack of nurture may come up and we will feel pressured to do something about it. With the moon squaring Neptune in Pisces we may find our spirituality coming into question and how we connect with our faith and creativity. The moon squaring Neptune in Retrograde could help bring up how we may find inspiration and faith to overcome pain and trauma as Chiron rx and Ceres rx may bring up these themes for us to heal. Lastly the moon will trine Juno in Libra which is a beneficial window of time for us to connect with anything we value or need to commit to. This is always a pleasant window of time where a romantic interest or lovely opportunity may pop it's head open. If you see the door opening, then don't ignore it's potential!

Recommendations: It's a good day for shadow work and divination with the chiron rx and Eros sextile. We may feel called to do some intense inner healing. With the moon squaring Neptune rx we may feel called to work on our craft and examining the root of it. With the moon trining Juno in Libra and conjunct Venus it's a good time for love and romance magic especially self love magic in these times.

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18th

☾♋ Moon enters Cancer ☾♋ Moon Opposite Saturn rx in Capricorn

Energy: Today is another touchy and moody day in a string of moody days as the moon enters Cancer. It's a good time to tend to yourself, your home and to do some kitchen magic to make yourself feel more nurtured and tend to your emotions. However today will have a window of binding time where the moon will be opposite Saturn rx in Capricorn. This will bring a sense of burden to you where you will feel like previous tasks or things you've been neglecting or procrastinating on may come back to haunt you. Past work you've agreed to working on could be knocking on your door among the hundreds of other things you have to get to. Or you may feel like external events are forcing you to review all that you've built up or worked on in the past and how well of a job you've done and if you felt you haven't been doing a good job or have been slacking or binded by this whole lock down and pandemic you could feel weighed down during this moment. It's a good time to gain perspective and see what you need to do to make ends meet. It's a good time to use magic to attract opportunities to help with these tasks and roll up your sleeves and get to work.

Recommendations: You may feel a bit weighed down by this day but magically it's a great day to do some bath magic to nurture yourself, kitchen magic, tend to the home and your emotions. With the opposition it's a great time to channel Saturn for help. Though you may feel burdened, using that energy can help you get the work ethic and skills you need to overcome your obstacles.

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19th

Mercury in Cancer squares Sappho in Libra Neptune rx in Pisces sextiles Vesta in Cancer

☾♋ Moon Conjunct Mercury in Cancer ☾♋ Moon Opposite Pluto rx and Jupiter rx in Capricorn ☾♋ Moon Squares Chiron rx and Mars in Aries and Juno and Sappho in Libra ☾♋ Moon Trines Ceres rx in Pisces ☾♋ Moon Sextiles Uranus in Taurus

Energy: We may feel called to re-align our devotions and goals with our magical paths and spirituality today as Neptune rx in Pisces sextiles Vesta in Cancer giving us that incentive. As the moon is in it's waning phase we may clear out beliefs that no longer serve us and reconnect to our core goals and devotions and understand how our faith has been influenced by that. Additionally Mercury will square Sappho bringing about tension and reflection in areas of life that reflect our genuine interests and help us to feel authentic and our whole selves and how we may incorporate more of that into our daily mindset. If you have been denying yourself this access because you feel that it's unattainable or like stepping off a beaten path then these overall themes may question you to figure a way how.

The moon will be doing a lot today as it wraps up it's cycle in Cancer season before we enter Leo season. Overall we will feel the need to reflect on this Cancer season's lunar cycle and how our lives have shifted under the eclipses and wrap up any unfinished business or healing that needs to be done before moving on. Though the moon will progress through several degrees, all of these aspects with other planets are within orb of each other, so the chapters will overlap into a bigger theme.   First the moon will conjunct Mercury in Cancer and opposite Pluto rx in Capricorn. It will be an emotionally cathartic window of time where we may feel ease with expressing our feelings and having a clear understanding of them where as Pluto rx can bring external events that can trigger deeper insight to our souls and connection with our inner power, deep subconscious emotions and shadow selves. Facing our shadow in this time and examining those feelings can bring helpful insight that can help us heal later. Next the moon will square Sappho bringing an emotional period of reflection upon the things that deeply resonate with us and make us feel authentic and genuine and how we can reconnect with those areas of ourselves. Often we can even deny these aspects of ourselves to fit into conventional society or expectations others have but it's important to be true and authentic to yourself and this aspect will force us to reflect on how we can keep this genuine connection strong. If it is a matter of trauma holding your back or fear of rejection or any fear that is holding you from being your true self, the moon will next square Chiron rx in Aries and be opposite Jupiter rx in Capricorn. This window of time can feel a bit harsh like you will be forced to reflect on previous trauma and buried emotional pain that could be holding you back yet there is a potential for inner expasion and truths to be uncovered which could help you understand yourself on a deeper level and that honesty can be invaluable moving forward on our journey of self healing during Chiron and Ceres's retrogrades. There is a chance for positive change with the moon sextiling Uranus in Taurus giving us the push to break habits, change our living space and personal lives. Whether that is to let go of painful feelings or allow opportunities for us to live our fullest potential in, this window of time will encourage us to make a change. Lastly the moon will square Mars in Aries, Juno in Libra and trine Ceres rx in Pisces bringing up frustrating feelings regarding our commitments and if we are devoting our energy towards things that reflect our values and that resonate with us. The Mars square can bring up frustrations like we are bound by current circumstance and can cause us to act rashly but it's a good time for reflection and shedding especially since the moon is waning and about to enter a new moon phase where we can set our intentions for the next cycle. With the moon trining Ceres rx it's an opportunity to put magic or action towards curating a reality that makes us feel safe and nurtured. The mars square can bring up exciting and passionate ideas surrounding this along with the Juno square which can highlight where we would truly desire putting our energy towards. Channeling those built up energies into a spell using the Ceres rx trine can put out a lot of energy towards manifesting that reality you may crave. (A lot of people I know during this time are craving making a dream home and I am having friends message me about their witch community ideas so this is a good window of time).

Recommendations: It's a good time to reflect and shed away what you no longer need as this moon wanes into a new moon. There is a lot of healing to be done, a lot of shedding to be done and a lot of changes that can take place. As the moon enters it's new moon phase it's a good time to reflect on what you do want to manifest and focus on for the next lunar cycle.

____________________________________

[junejalow]

“Date Night”

Coolguy1245 requested the a prompt of Thermite/Ash going on a date.

Sorry this took so long to get out, I've honestly been caught up with other things but I'm getting back full swing on requests! Hope you enjoy!

Chapter Text

Thermite whistled to himself as he leisurely walked along the halls of the base, he had just finished up some drills under Thatcher's watch and helped him out with paper work afterwards which surprising didn't draw any form of usual complaint from the older man, he was slightly taken aback by the action despite it speeding up the process. Jordan could get work done when in the right mind set and with the right people or on his own even if he tended to procrastinate when left alone, he eventually got the work done before whatever dead line the reports had since he didn't want Ash, Harry, Thatcher or Montagne's scolding on his ass. He sighed at the thought, pushing it aside as he neared his designation. He had walked from the training grounds, court yard, living area to the showers, stopped to fill out reports with Thatcher, hurried along to the dorm section and now he was here. He fished around in his pocket for the key to his room and with one swift movement he unlocked the door and turned the nob. He noticed the lights were already on and glanced to Ash's work desk, sure enough the attacker was sitting there typing away on her laptop with papers strewed around and folders stacked or opened. Her brow was furrowed with concentration to whatever she was working on. He didn't disturb her until he heard the laptop click shut.

"How was training?" Ash asked as she cleaned up her desk, putting papers into the correct files and placing them in storage. She was a organized frantic when it came to things being put in their place, mainly when it was files. She couldn't stress enough how easy things were to find when they were placed correctly, vs the mess Jordan had on his side of things but she never tried to fix any of it since she valued her sanity and the hard Texan always managed to find exactly what he needed. Ash would never openly say it, but the simple act amazed her. He could pick a needle out of a hay stack with one look.

"Same as usual, Although a accident happened. Nothing to bad. Blitz rushed the biohazard container last second and flash banged Jager, caught him off guard, Poor guy tripped over some ruble from a wall I took down and busted his tail bone. Fuze ain't happy about it, nearly shoved Blitz against a wall over the matter." He replied, watching Ash get ready for the date they agreed to go on this afternoon after all of their work was done.

"See, this is why I told Harry it wasn't a good idea to have anyone romantically involved on opposite sides. That exact situation could have turned into a fight and that's the last thing we need."

"Hey hey, it's alright. There aren't any hard feelings. Monty calmed everyone down and they understood it was just training and accidents happen. Even Thatcher didn't leave until everyone was good. It's fine, really." Jordan told her, leaving the shared room with her after grabbing his car keys.

"Not the point Jordan." She sighed out with a light annoyed tone. "I'm not against anyone here having a relationship, it helps in ways. Like you did with me…. I would be drowning in work and responsibilities if you weren't here to tug me back a few steps." He smiled warmly and grabbed her hand, taking their time walking through the hallways of the base.

"I needed you too Eliza, I got no one outside this team. Everyone here is like family of some sort or another but you…damn woman you are so much more~"

"Starting your flirting already? Did your gadget blast you with too much heat?" Ash teased with a smile, shivering faintly to the chilly England air as they walked out of the dorm section of the base and across open ground to the parking lot. Various car's neatly lined up. Harry didn't mind them leaving and exploring during downtime but expected them to come back within reasonable time incase there was an emergency, which seemed to be a lot lately. Half the base was currently deployed to different countries right now. Thermite himself had just returned not even three days ago from a month long mission helping defuse bombs from several sites and hidden factory's the White Masks were crafting and producing. His hands were still sore but he would never complain about it, not when the entire team had come back without a scratch. Sure exhausted and lack of sleep had taken it's toll on all of them, that wasn't anything new to the operators. He wouldn't trade sleep for this chance of a date night, they had been planning this for months now with the last three attempts being stolen away by their jobs calling for their attention. Soon enough the pair were on their way down the road, soft music playing from the radio between idol chatter of news reports about jobs, tv shows, new food brands, touring music bands, and new movie releases. Ash's phone bleeped with a text message, she tried to ignore it since she promised Jordan her attention would be on the date and not work once they left.

"You can answer it Eliza, we're not at the restaurant yet." Thermite told her with a reassuring tone.

"I'm not going back on my promise Jordan, that's not something I do and you know it."

"What if it's Jager letting you know he got called out for a mission? You know he never rests for anything, he's on standby as well." He replied, making a good point. He had personally witnessed the German operator fly them out of harsh situations even with injuries, even though the scolding he got from Doc and Harry himself wasn't very nice to listen too and left the pilot not wanting to leave his room for awhile.

"It's nothing important, if it was they would have called instead." Eliza replied, dismissing the subject. Her eyes wondered to the passing scenery, small stores, café's, old historical areas. Even she had to admit that England was a pretty place. Smoke and Mute had taken them on tours before as a team building exercise that turned into an all day trip, it was much needed at the time though. A lot of them had come back from a mass joint operation that ended in success but not without casualties, they had a lost a hand full of recruits that day. Montagne and Kapkan were emotionally scarred from it, they had personally trained the recruits for that mission just for them to come home in coffins. It took a solid month for them to come out of their depressed states and focus on the bigger issue at hand. She noticed the scenery slowing down as Thermite pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant, once he found a decent parking spot he escorted her inside. They found a booth in the corner and settled in, it only took them a few minutes to get drinks and their food ordered. Thankfully neither of them were picky about what they consumed. Living on base with different nationalities you learned to eat whatever was offered by the on site staff who tended to change up the weekly food list to make everyone happy, of course the kitchen was open over the weekend for the operator's. Some enjoyed baking sweets or a simple home dish to lift spirits.

"You know...this is pretty nice. Getting out like this and relaxing." Eliza said with a smile, working at a steak with her cutlery.

"We don't get it often, and I don't count on base movie nights as dates." Jordan chuckled.

"Those are not movie nights, that's just a excuse for our friends to get drunk and fight over the remote for the tv."

"Okay okay, I'll give you that one… even though you stole the remote last time and played that cheesy love movie."

"Jordan! It was not cheesy! It was a good movie and you have zero taste in anything that doesn't explode."

"Really? Coming from someone who launches grenades' at walls?" Eliza paused midchew and stared at him from across the table, after a moment of silence they both tried to stifle a laugh so they wouldn't be too loud.

The two attacker's couldn't have any solid arguments about their own equipment since both were similar in ways. It was all in good fun though and both knew it, bantering like this relieved stress in an odd way for them. Ash waved her hand in front of her towards Thermite when he asked if she was retort any.

"No, no. I'm done. You had a fair point Jordan." She replied with a genuine smile. Thermite found himself returning the same type of smile, He loved the woman sitting in front of him with every fiber of his being for a endless list of reasons. The way they interacted with each other was in the top ten on that list. He could always joke around with her without it being taken serious. They had been around each other long enough to know the faint body signals, the small twitches, muscles tensing or jaws setting a certain way that gave away aggravation.

"Hey, did you still wanna talk about whatever it was you mentioned this morning?" She suddenly asked him, eyes gleaming curiously.

"Right! Right," Jordan said before clearing his throat a bit, he had finished his own steak earlier. Being among the few guys within rainbow that could put a lot of competitive eaters to shame. "Well. I recently got an apartment off base, and…I um…" Eliza waited patiently, concern filling her features. Jordan was never at a loss for words so she knew this was coming important.

"Jordie… what's going on?" She asked softly, using his nickname only she could call him by. Anyone else caught a glare from the Texan that clearly told people not to use it. He glanced up from his scarred hands, pausing to seeing her expression.

"It's not bad! I promise I was just… wondering if you wanted… to move in with me. Maybe take this a step further?"

Her face blanked out for a moment, taking in the request from her boyfriend. Her pulse quickened at the thought of actually living off base with him, both of them would constantly have to take their work home or rush back at a moment's notice should anything happen. But at the same time… having a place to call their own? She felt a grin spreading across her face before she said anything.

"You know what? I like that idea, I would love to move in with you." Jordan felt his chest swell with mixed emotions, happiness, fear, excitement, nervousness.

"Y-you serious? You really want to?"

She nodded, keeping her grin. "Yes, I'm being dead serious Jordan."

Thermite had to stop himself from jumping up and shouting right on the spot, his dream coming true of finally having a more private area with Eliza. A place they could officially call home and not be interrupted at night by loud noises or arguing between operators. "Thank you for agreeing, I'm moving everything next week if that's enough time for you."

"Of course, I can work with that."

The couple soon finished up their drinks and headed back out after paying, they wondered into base and quickly skipped past the common room. Hearing Rook fuss at Lion about drinking too much with them being on stand by, Blitz keeping Bandit from going after them for interrupting his tv show. Glaz and Mute sitting at a table on the other side of the room, the Russian working on a sketch while Mute typed away at his laptop. It wasn't unusual to see the pair together when Tachanka and Smoke were off base on missions. Ash shook her head they couldn't have one quiet afternoon here without something happening but that was the fun part of being with Rainbow. All the different people and personalities. Even if her and Jordan moved to the apartment soon, they would always be here for their family.

[dollarwarm36]

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UA women's assistant to miss Florida game - WholeHogSports

UA women's assistant to miss Florida game.

Posted: Wed, 13 Jan 2021 20:32:14 GMT [source]

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[benscursedkid]

9, 10, and 12 for Olivia asks, please?

thank you for asking! hope this doesn’t disappoint!

***long post ahead, still no computer :((

9. What was her relationship with Jacob?

Well, I like to see my Jacob as not having had any romantic feelings for either Duncan or Olivia. He liked to call them his platonic soulmates. The three of them were truly best friends and they all made a good team. They were a well oiled trio and each of them cared for each other.

Really, to put it simply, they were best friends. The boys always went to her when they needed advice and Jacob was very fond of her. He saw her as a bit of a sisterly figure for him and actually reminded him a lot of his own. They’re also housemates, so they would always lounge together in the common room when they had down time and Duncan happened to be busy. They didn’t really bother anyone seeing as Jacob was well-liked among his peers during his school years and Olivia was a very polite person. But they were known to goof off and mess around every so often. The professors hated having both of them in the same class, let alone the ones they shared with Duncan. It was practically impossible getting them to focus some days. They were the jokesters of their little group and were very comfortable with one another. They’re the type of friends who people would probably think are dating... and then get disgusted when they realize they give people that impression. Jacob is rather tall, especially compared to her, and always liked to tease her by hanging off of her or draping his long limbs across her lap or shoulders. They love to get lost in their own world together, as Duncan really isn’t one to indulge in his imagination and could spend hours having existential thoughts and bouncing what if questions off each other. But they’re also quick to console and reassure one another when one of them is down and very protective of each other. Very caring and loyal friends, but first years might not always get that impression as half the time they’re just teasing each other and trying to have the last word.

However, this Olivia was absolutely the type to tell it like it is. She’s not one for sugar-coating things and she values honesty in others so she likes to give it in return. She definitely got onto him when he started behaving erratically and didn’t give him any excuses. Honestly, I really don’t think I can stress enough just how close they were and how much they meant to one another. He would do just about anything for her and she’d gladly do the same.

10. What was her relationship with Duncan?

So, I decided to take the teeniest, tiniest page out of JK’s book— I know, I know, but hear me out —and considered adding a bit of a romance into this trio. And while Jacob Roberts would make a good match with both Duncan and Olivia, I didn’t really want him to have feelings for either of them. Now, I’m personally not a Romione fan, but I do rather like the trope. I am weak for f2l, so...

I can see them starting out as friends at first. Where Olivia and Jacob almost never shut up when they’re together, Duncan and Olivia are either perfectly content just sitting in silence and enjoying each other’s company or bickering like an old married couple and will not stop until one has gotten through to the other. But they never push or disrespect each other’s boundaries and make sure not to say anything that might offend the other. And if they do think they’ve crossed a line, they’re quick to apologize and make it up to them. But they like debating with each other as they typically have different opinions on most things. They learn and challenge each other while also being able to remain who they are. Olivia is able to help him step out of his comfort zone without pushing him past his limits and is respectful of his boundaries. Duncan is good at listening when she has things she wants to say and ideas she wants to share, even if he doesn’t quite understand, and can also bring her back to reality if she starts to wander too far. Things start out really casual and it’s comfortable for them.

Though, after spending all that time together, Olivia comes to admire his ambition and dedication, and surprising loyalty to her and Jacob. She begins to appreciate the little moments when he can relax and forget about the vaults and when he feels comfortable enough to crack jokes. She also loves to shamelessly flirt with him, just to see him stutter, all blushy and cute. And she absolutely loves when she catches him humming as he studies or when he’s making a potion or doing research. Her favorite moments to admire him are when he’s completely unaware and just content to be himself. He’s rather grumpy and introverted normally so she loves it when he doesn’t feel the need to keep himself guarded. He’s interesting and I think that’s what drew her attention initially. And while those feelings were repicrocated, they spent so many years too afraid to admit it and just continued to dance around each other, avoiding possible rejection. In the end, they didn’t get anything more than one kiss before he died and she went missing. It was one of their biggest regrets and they can both attest to that.

12. What was her role in the trio?

Personally: Olivia is a very good mediator. Her personality is a good middle ground between the boys. Jacob Roberts is a very independent, head-in-the-clouds kinda guy. He knows when to stop and think things through, but he can get pretty distracted and side tracked sometimes. While that normally isn’t a problem with the vaults, because he’s so committed to this search, often times the opposite becomes true. He’s been known to get tunnel vision and overwork himself and his friends if left alone long enough, especially when they’ve hit a snag. Duncan, on the other hand, is normally very single-minded and logical and for a wizard he’s very much in the mindset of “seeing is believing”. He sticks mostly to facts and what he knows to be true. But he can, every now and again, get frustrated if it takes him a while to make progress in their search. And, really, this usually isn’t much of a problem between them, as their strengths and weaknesses balance each other out without clashing. However, there are a select few times where they catch each other at the wrong moment— while Duncan is frustrated and in need of a break and Jacob is persistent and tries to push him a little harder than what’s probably necessary —and Olivia is needed to calm them down. She’s whimsical, free spirited, and ambitious enough to understand where Jacob is coming from in these situations, but also responsible, open-minded, and generally practical in her thinking to be able to consider Duncan’s view and his feelings on the matter. But when she gets into an argument with one of them, she usually just adheres to the “if you don’t have anything nice to say” policy and takes time for herself to calm down. It typically doesn’t take long for Jacob or Duncan to come to their senses and reach out to her first and when that happens she is quick to follow with her own apology. Even so, while Jacob is the mood maker of their trio, Olivia is good at indulging him and his ideas and thus breaking Duncan a bit out of his shell, while also not pushing him past his limit and taking time to do things that the other boy enjoys as well and grounding Jacob when the need arises.

Business: When it comes to their search for the vaults, everyone has their own jobs, but sometimes they can overlap. Duncan, for example, does most of the “super secret work”. If they need something to get in the vault, to use against whatever is inside it, or getting out, he’s your guy. He is adept at potions and fairly competent in other areas such as Charms, and Tranfiguration. However, while he scores very well in the class, he lacks a bit of field experience when it comes to DADA. But he is eager to get better and he tries his best to be a Jack of all Trades and serves them well as their strategist. Jacob, does a lot of the research. If there’s a clue to be deciphered, something missing in their puzzle, information that needs to be discovered, he is all over it. His ability to consider every possible scenario, even the unlikely ones while still having the common sense to know when he’s heading down a dead end makes him very efficient. Him and Olivia also will team up from time to time to do reconnaissance or to talk outsiders or people who are getting too close to their secret activites down and dissuading a potential liability. Despite his generally whimsical personality, he’s extremely good at reading people and controlling a situation when it gets out of hand; doesn’t buckle under pressure and he’s a good duelist. Olivia, also happens to be very skilled in martial magic, but she tends to do better when dealing with multiple people while Jacob is more efficient in one on one combat. Olivia works as the trio’s collector. If Duncan needs a material he doesn’t have on hand? Olivia can steal it from Snape and face the possible consequences. If that’s for whatever reason not an option, she’s the one making the trip to Knockturn Alley to apprehend it. Someone stole something or happened across one of their clues? She’s on it and it’ll be on your desk within the hour. She’s a fairly pleasant person and while Jacob is naturally friendly and charming, he can be a bit loud sometimes so they send in Olivia instead, just in case.

^Of course this all changes when R gets involved. Suddenly everyone is more on edge and prone to start fights and much quicker to snap or accuse. Normally they are able to recognize their mistakes and rectify the situation, but sometimes it takes Jacob longer now that his sister’s life is on the line. And without his friend, Duncan gets moodier and more stubborn when giving out his apologies. Olivia also gets frustrated with them faster and will sometimes refuse to help them compromise if it takes too long. She’ll leave them to their own devices and be done with it, wait for them to own up themselves. And Jacob, for his part, slowly begins to act irrationally, even for him, the longer R is around and the more involved they become. He’ll hide his research from them, over analyze Duncan’s work and sometimes redo it (even if it ends up worse), and do recon without Olivia. He eventually even ends up doing her job himself altogether. He becomes more mistrustful and paranoid of betrayal and of their work being revealed. He suddenly becomes insanely and scarily perceptive. He studies them and their tells, their habits and what makes them tick– what makes everyone tick for that matter. He loses his trust in his professors, his peers, and eventually them as well. It takes both of them a while to admit it to themselves, but one day they wake up and realize that they don’t recognize who he is anymore and they’re not sure he even knows who he’s become and that just breaks her heart. He was her best friend.

And that was her last thought of him before she disappeared.

[silyabeeodess]

Even after making these guys, I still can hardly fathom how much I actually like this show now…

Here’s a character line-up for the six IZ ocs I mentioned in my earlier post.  I’ll list some info on each of them in the cut below, but here’s some general info for the whole group:  These guys all knew each other since they were smeets. At the time, Irkens were going through one of many phases to genetically engineer better, stronger, taller versions of their species. At this point, the experiments were winding down and each phase pushed for only mild or subtle changes in order to limit any extreme consequences. Most of their batch ended up slightly taller than average and tested better overall during their training. They were all also very loyal Irkens! The problem was… a lot of them proved to be more loyal to each other than to their actual leaders.  This actually led to about a 2 minute��“uprising” in their youth where a few of them got themselves just about vaporized. Some other smeets from their batch would later meet similar fates or get their little, green butts handed to them down the line whenever any of them stepped so much as a foot out of line.  …Woohoo! :) So, the ones that survived basically either never really had a loyalty issue or learned pretty fast to keep their mouths shut.  In the case of these six, it was the latter. Rather than favor height, they value competence. That doesn’t mean that they won’t follow orders, but whoever leads them better do so well. This leaves them to often have shaky opinions of their fellow Irkens and higher-ups, and the group will often debate (in secret) over which traits are the most valuable for the empire’s goals of conquest. They’re also pretty ambitious, and divided themselves in a way to both jointly live…somewhat, comfortably and rise through the empire’s ranks.

LARG:

Larg is the tallest of the group, and because of this the others will sometimes treat him as an outsider. In public, they give him the respect other Irkens would show him because of his height and position. In private, he has to prove himself to them more than the rest of them have to with each other to show that he isn’t taken in by his own status and that he won’t end up stabbing them in the back at some point. In reality, the fear is pretty baseless as he’s actually the most lenient and easygoing of the bunch. 

Once he became a navigator on the Massive, he was able to solidify his place in the group a lot more. They valued his placement and what it meant for them overall, with him doing the others favors or giving them subtle recommendations when possible. It also gave him the chance to keep an eye on the Tallest.

Out of the six, he questions authority the least. He gets along well with his fellow navigators too.

 SLEEVEEN:

Sleeveen is the next tallest of the six and became a scientist. It’s not so much that she devoted herself to science because that’s her strong suit, but rather that “someone needed to fill that slot” and the role fit her personality best. Sleeveen’s the sort to play mind-games rather than draw a weapon. She’ll put on a show to convince you that your family’s dead just to see how you react and test how far she can push you over the edge. Therefore, it could easily be said that she favors/specializes in psychological weaponry and related tech.  

She likes talking and bragging about her work, so she’ll show it off any chance she gets. In turn, she’ll take it as a personal offense if you don’t give her some attention. Just letting her talk and nodding along on occasion is typically all it really takes to satisfy her though. 

The group views her as the least rational, due to her being pretty petty and desire for revenge if she feels slighted–which the others mostly view as a pointless waste of time. Still, she doesn’t let her feelings get in the way of her work or their safety, so they’ll usually let her have her way or even play along.

FIZ:

Fiz probably would’ve been fine anywhere in the military, but the others pushed her to be an invader due to her self-discipline and well-rounded abilities. And it was good advice: She does a pretty good job.  Her main issue is that her usual “angry” expression sometimes gets her into a bit of trouble, as most people can’t read her and don’t know if she’s giving them sass or not.  She often gets sent to planets with darker atmospheres or that are tidal locked, so she wears a much darker uniform than normal to help her blend in a bit better to those types of surroundings. 

Even when she first hatched, Fiz had a pretty angry expression. She’s not a negative person though: It’s just her face. She can be a hard-case with a razor focus to her work and a stern desire for control of both herself and her environment; however, she will emote more at times of extreme emotion, such as surprise, and doesn’t mind relaxing a bit–especially with the others–if she is offered the chance. Just don't expect her to spill her innermost secrets…

Fiz has a major caffeine addiction. She once had to go several weeks without caffeine on an assignment on a dwarf planet and it frustrated her so much that she dumped a ton of chemicals into its entire water supply to turn it into soda. Even though she went a little out of line, the Tallest were actually happy with the result and pumped the planet dry before conquering it completely.  

CESTUS:

Cestus is the group’s second invader; however, he stayed an Irken elite for a much longer period than Tiz from a lack of trying. He shows a general apathy for most things, and as a result nothing really moves, disappoints, or impresses him easily.  The most anyone can normally get out of him is a resounding “meh.” Out of the six, he’s the most likely to be a follower, as he doesn’t give much input on things and has a habit of staying silent. Despite this, the others know that he’d come through for them in the end.

The one thing Cestus really does care deeply about are the others in the group, even if he doesn’t show it. If something happened to them, he’d fight tooth and nail to save them–even shirking off his obedient façade if it came to it, so long as he knew it wouldn’t do more harm than good.  He actually has a soft spot for smeets too, and would’ve wanted to teach if he was able. Not without attempting to slip their batch’s ideology onto future generations despite their PAKs’ programming, but he would’ve enjoyed it.

No one will say it to his face, but some Irkens talk about Cestus’ head. He doesn’t know it, but a lot of them think he got hit with something that caused a permanent indentation in the back of it. It’s one rumor that somehow no one in the group has picked up on, or if they have they just don’t care enough about it to bring it up.

MOOB:

Moob is about average in height for an Irken, as well as average overall in most fields. Because of this, he became a standard soldier. He specializes in demolitions for his unit, which is the main area where he shows incredible skill.  He’s very passionate about his explosives. Some might even say dangerously so.  Give him any opportunity to blow something up and there’s a chance that the armada will see fireworks from halfway across the galaxy. If it weren’t for the others reminding him to keep himself in-check, he’d probably get himself into a ton of trouble.

He’s got a very “silent, but deadly” personality, not really saying much to other people outside of the group, but breaking into a loud, scary fit of laughter when it’s time to do his job. Effective as he is, most people don’t like teaming up with him on assignments. 

He’s blown himself up and his PAK has had to revive him multiple times. It’s a miracle he still has all of his limbs. 

CALU:

Unlike the others, Calu didn’t get very far in his training. Although just a little shorter than the average Irken, he was one of the shortest in the batch. That, combined with his slight chubbiness and lack of noteworthy abilities led to him getting stationed as a janitor on the Massive. His placement was intentional, with Larg pulling some strings so he could watch him and so that Calu could check out other parts of the ship. No one makes his job easy though–and it’s already not, because sometimes he’ll get sent on jobs cleaning up areas like that trash compactor in “Star Wars”–so he does what he can to keep attention away from him.

Calu is actually very intelligent, but hides it since his low status actually works well for them all in the end. Since most Irkens view him in a poor light, if they notice him at all, they don’t really bother hiding anything in front of him. So he gets to listen on plenty of good information or dirty secrets.  While he might get in trouble for spilling them himself, it doesn’t stop him from telling the others in the group. That sort of know-how comes in handy, especially if any of them ever want to one-up a fellow Irken. 

Due to the abuse he does face, the others will treat him almost like a little brother despite them all being the same age. They’ll tease him a bit too, but only in good fun. And if anyone else messes with him, they better hope they don’t “accidentally” slip through an open air lock. They help him bear what he goes through, like secretly giving him a small earpiece to hide under his goggles in case he wants to listen to music. 

Additional Info:

The group tries to meet up on occasion and hate being separated. Still, it’s next to impossible for all six of them to be in one place at the same time. Larg and Calu see each other the most often, with Fiz and Cestus seeing the others the least due to falling out of contact for long periods while on assignments. 

Fiz and Cestus have the most in common. Not counting their antenna, they’re both the same height; they’re both invaders; and they were both pushed to be invaders by the group for their skills, demeanors, and, according to their smeet days, ”because they look so intense.”

Sleeveen and Fiz act a lot like bickering sisters, throwing insults at each other and talking over the other’s head, “borrowing” each other’s things, and so forth. Really though, that’s just their typical way of dealing with each other and they’re pretty close.

Sleeveen sometimes uses Moob as a test subject when he’s off-duty, since he can take a lot of damage. In return, she sometimes lets him mess around with experimental equipment–if always when she can observe.  

All of them are pretty comfortable and open around each other except for Larg, who tries to connect with them the most. He’s closest to Calu, who in turn doesn’t mind being brutally honest with him in private.

They’re technically defective, but it’s not actually their PAKs that causes it: It’s the chemicals in their bodies transmitting signals differently to their brains. The PAKs would’ve been fine strapped onto another Irken.  Should their PAKs be attached to another Irken now ,however, their memories and ideology would imprint on future generations. Their current defective state could be “corrected”, but it would have to be done through severe torture. 

[indie-struggle]

Emotion

I read a script the other day and it was flat. It hit all those famous plot points you hear about, but it was dull. It had nothing of interest, and I wondered why. The more I thought about it the more I realized that it was void of any authentic feeling, and it only had plot. I unconsciously rejected it based on that - being that I am an emotional animal that has experienced a broad range of emotions - and not just sunshine and farts.

This lead me to a thought: no wonder why I keep returning to those films I love.

One of which is Ordinary People. Since I first watched it some years ago, looking back, I'm unsure of how I came about that... maybe it was Alvin Sargent (the screenwriter), who I admire a lot. Anyhow, I keep coming back to it. I watch it maybe 10-20 times a year along with all this other stuff you wouldn't like. I've read the script, though, who knows what draft it was or what level of production it was in, but it still held the core of the story and its moral.

It really is a fantastic film - and made in 1980 to boot - which puts it in this strange place where I'm not sure how it was made. At that time, the action-adventure blockbuster came storming in with Jaws and Star Wars, and a lot of films flew under the radar due to that. But this wasn't ignored and, ironically, probably couldn't be made today. Who knows, maybe it's because Robert Redford's sexy ass could do whatever he wanted then...

The performances, though in certain areas are lacking (mostly from z-list bit actors), don't keep the story from being solid. There isn't one hole in it. Its - and sorry for spoiling 40 years later - structure isn’t melodramatic. The plot isn't pulling the characters along like movies you're used to, the characters are pulling the plot - extremely important difference. You never know where you're going except for the moment, and yet as we go further down the rabbit hole we become more gripped with this family and don't even realize it. Film wise, this is difficult to make on any level. This is also besides the point I wanted to talk about, which is much greater than just structure and planning, or production values and cinematography... I really need to stop drifting.

(the infamous exploding car)

I want to talk about relatability (is that a word?) of emotion. Because I think that's why I keep coming back to it. First off, this type of film is something you're more inclined to see from outside of the US post '70s. It's a piece of Americana but, almost, almost a slice of life film. Something the French, Italian and Russians specialize in: the inner lives of people and how it effects life around them, ultimately resulting in natural conditions, or an ending that has no place else to go, because that's life. Its only alternative is to have a glimpse of hope. Ordinary People ends with that alternative, because this is fucking America.

(I've written about slice-of-life before: https://indie-struggle.tumblr.com/post/172373896232/so-whats-the-slice-of-life-genre-anyway - but since tumblr blocks this blog from being found outside of tumblr, you probably never saw it.)

This family is nothing like what my family was: they're well off, they're complete, they have things I couldn't fathom or even dream of in terms of benefits in life. This isn't a poor family with gritty living conditions making due and living pay-check to pay-check, which I would immediately identify. So, try to understand the bias here. This family is the polar opposite of all that. So, why in the hell can I relate with it so much? The answer, in the end, is the same damn reason I relate with Sean Nelson's character in Fresh.

Emotion.

The interactions that the family go through are relatable and realistic enough that they transcend any sort of status symbol, race or class. They're universal to those who've had the same emotions, even if it's just coping. You have a father who is simple and confused, but he’s caring and present. You have a son with PTSD, unwelcome in his own skin, his old haunts, at school, at home, and with authority. And then, you have the mother: a torn, stand-offish, determined battle axe, who at every turn is trying to unhear or trying to change the subject to keep herself in balance - the egoshell™. She, strangely enough, is the most unstable of the three. Not only to the characters, but to the audience. I have to be honest, I didn't get this until about my 5th viewing. I was so busy hating her, I didn't realize that she in fact is the one torn inside the most. She doesn't know what to do, and of course loses it all by trying to keep it all. Ultimately, the story is about a father though, trying to hold this family together, as shown through the son.

(moments before the great Uzi on the bus scene)

Now, the biggest complaint I've ever heard about this story is about the psychologist. I understand that. The reason is due to a perception of over compensation. At that time, and even today, it's seen as being detestable to see a shrink, or something to be looked down upon by some people - mostly cowards. So, the film paints it in a bright light, not a savior but a brighter light than most can accept. I, myself, who have been to many psychologists (you can tell), can say that the light isn't that bright. It's more of a case of: "Look, psychology is a story in itself, and we don't have 6 years to spend on the son getting help for this story. So, let's round out the edges." And that in turn creates quicker results and this idea of painting the shrink as a saint. But, his character is true to psychology - take my word for it - that's how they are. Granted, they're not all nice, but when you get a good one, they really hit the mark on what that’s like. And the film isn't about him anyhow, he's just the handle along the steps the son is climbing - something I felt Good Will Hunting borrowed heavily from.

So we have a traumatized, coping family. The reason they're traumatized really isn't important. Though it's shown with brevity, you soon start to realize that this family is being pulled apart by strings that were on a bad foundation beforehand (which, in my opinion, is the reason the story merely shows glimpses of the tragedy throughout - which was a good decision). It has zero sentimentality. There's no guy playing a harmonica in the corner while an old man runs off about the troubles of life. There's no music cue as two buddies realize their futility while sitting on a dock, boozing.

Everything is shown, it's right there, naked, bald, shivering, and with no place to go.

Every character's behavior is perfect for the story. They're realistic, they're believable. All their choices and actions are accurate to how people react to trauma. No two people act the same in reality, and how they do in the film is something you should focus on. Their behavior and actions are what reveals their emotions. The believability of the emotions they're having and the actions they take are what transfers the emotions to me. If you think in terms of action-reaction, it's accurate. And that’s a good thing to note. No doubt an external conflict has created a personal conflict story here, but it didn't need the external conflict to work. It didn’t need to be shown. Why? Because this cloud every character is in is the aftermath of it. It’s a rippling wave through each of them, and that’s what’s interesting, not the tragic event itself.

I'm rambling now... fuck. But what I want you to take away from this, besides that it will make you cry unless you have no goddamn soul, is that you don't need a hook. You don't need explosions. You don't need a good planet vs. bad aliens all the time, or a talking fucking animal... you don't need any of that, it isn't what matters. All you need is emotion out of something interesting and you've got something.

No matter the class, the race, or any social or political beliefs you hold close to your chest, emotion matters the most. And it has to be from some place genuine. It's what editors cut for. Emotions triumph, and this film is a good example of the proper writing and execution of them. Behavior and action are always a side effect of an emotion, whether they're holding on too tight, don't know what it even is, or know what it is and are trying hard not to lose it. Realistic emotions are paramount. They are what's relatable. In stories, it's what you have to tap into, it's what holds you, even more so than spectacle.

(killers photograph their victims prior to dragging them into the murder basement)

Now, if you've never lived and done things to experience a broad range of emotions, how are you going to hold someone's interest who has? You're not, and your story is going to be flat. It doesn't matter if you hit every plot device out there. Unless you're Chris Nolan and can get away with just plot and sentimentality, your script will drown. As Tom DiCillo once said: "If it ain't got heart, it ain't worth shit." I don't know if he coined that, I just remember him saying it. In fact, I'm pretty sure I heard my grandfather say that once thirty years ago, but you get the point. I hope.

If I had the chance to talk to that writer, I’d tell him to go live. Go get rejected by a woman, try to survive on nothing, get beat up, go get dirty and come back. Do something to get life experience. And if you can’t for some reason, at least read about those who have and try to fully understand it. And for the love of John-Boy, be interesting and make me feel something beside a bit of thrill or fright. It's tired. There are many more powerful colors of emotion out there besides pink and gamboge... so find ‘em.

[alitheamateur]

The Grind- Chapter 4

Warnings: Language. Angst.

Just shy of 3 months had swiftly come & gone. We spent most of our days together, and the easy casualty, and effortless chemistry between us still stood firm. The whirling wind of our relationship only just picking up, and I was intently reading the blatant, yet blindly mysterious novel that was Colton Ritter. He was romantic in the brawniest of ways, always keeping a solid arm around my waist, or his wide fingers locked around my bony hands when we explored the crowded sidewalks on our outings. Or on the rare occasions he decided to sleep over, he’d never settle to sleep in any position other than nestled into my back, his warm steady breaths exhaling into my hair, & limbs locked around me. There was a period when I had to reassure myself that he did indeed know my proper name, and wasn’t just calling me ‘his girl’ every time he addressed me to cover his flighty memory.

The fight was just shy of two weeks away, give or take. Two painfully anxious, grueling weeks away. Rightfully so, Colton delicately began to isolate himself a bit, applying his metaphorical “game face” makeup, if you will. However, tonight he had promised to skip out his usual third training session of the day & let me have him to myself. I tidied the throw pillows on the sunken leather couch on my way to answer his knock, and fluffed some fingers through my hair.  

“Hey, babydoll.”

He crossed the entryway with a wet peck to my lips & dropped himself to be seated on the center cushion of my couch, kicking off the heels of his gray trainers with a grunt. How on earth a man could make a sweat stained, beat-up hoodie look like a 3-piece suit, was an enigma I’d yet to solve.

“How’s my girl?” he smiled, using two fingers to playfully seduce me to fill the empty spot next to him. I made a pit stop grabbing the remote control so I could ready the DVD I had rented for us, then plopped beside his now relaxed frame. The ‘right at home’ manner he felt at my place, made the tiny space feel all the more cozy.  

“Perfect now,” I answered with smiling satisfaction, nuzzling into the warm crook under his arm. As a woman, I never like to think of myself as weak or fragile, small even. But the way his full, sizeable arm made me feel almost like a helpless child protected in the safe space of their own little hiding spot was an exception.

We’d barely made it 10 minutes into the movie before the tongue I’d been biting to keep quiet, broke free. “How’s the training coming? Is your hand still giving you trouble?”

Earlier in the week, I’d met him at Mac’s per his request, & found him wincing as the trainer pressured his obviously swollen, irritated mitt. He brushed off my evident concern, saying he had probably just “over did it a bit,” but the trainer shot me a clandestine glance, indicating that it indeed was something I should maybe be concerned with.

“It’s all good, babe. Nothin’ to worry yourself about, honest. Relax, huh?” He held up the wounded hand, wiggling his fingers as if to prove to me he was as healthy as a horse, and pressed a kiss to my temple.

I nodded my head at the obvious lie, resisting the urge to push the issue of my growing regard for him. My silky legs tucked under me, I lifted from the couch to retrieve some popcorn from the kitchen, strategizing the best way to mind my own business would be to excuse myself from the room for a brief moment or two.

I couldn’t have made it 3 small strides in exit before I was wrangled like a farm animal from behind.

“Hey 2-1, think fast!” He declared referring to the peeling vinyl number on the back of one of my dated team sweatshirts from high school.

Not allowed a moment to resist, he pounced from his seat, captured my limber body, & heaved me over his stony shoulder, adding a saucy pat to my rump for good measure. I squealed with pleasure as he whisked me off in the direction of my bedroom, shouting giggly words of objection mixed with powerless slaps to his widespread back along the way. We entered the bedroom threshold where he chucked me atop the plush white duvet of my full-size bed, my hair bouncing and scattering across my face. My arms outstretched slackly, he situated himself above me, dangling studiously rubbing nose-to-nose with me. I closed my eyes lazily with desire, anticipating the puffy lips I knew were approaching me.

“Highlight of my day about to be what’s between those soft legs of yours, Livvy,” he purred, causing me to shiver involuntarily as his gifted hands slid toward a southern destination. The airy hairs across my bloomed skin raised on end, the grips of his fingers leaving white scraps of pressure along the way.

The moment couldn’t have been more laced with passion, and elevated craving, and yet the wandering mind of mine I often coursed for overthinking, wouldn’t slow down.

“Colt, are you sure your hand’s okay? I just wanna make sure you’re in perfect condition for Mendez. I can’t have you going into this thing if you’re not 100%, babe.”

I knew right off I had made a hasty, unsuitable move. His sculpted jaw clenched, nostrils flaring with outrage. I searched his face for the man I’d grown to know, the one who held me in such high regard, always so playful & gentle. But this was Jekyll. His pupils almost rattled with offense, and I heard his neck crack from the fuming build inside him.

“Really? I told you I’m fine, Liv. Damn it!” He scoffed, and pushed himself off me, heavy feet stomping promptly down the hall, his sock feet ruffling over the area rug. I tossed myself over the foot of the bed after him, regretfully chastising myself for the poor timing.  

“You write articles about sports. You’re not a trainer for God sakes. I said not to worry about me, & I meant it, ‘ight. Just back off!”

I barely managed to hear the muffled last three words he’d growled at me from behind the door he’d nearly breached from hinges on his way out. I wasn’t oblivious to the fact that he held some tendencies of fuming anger, and maybe the occasional tendency for a tantrum. There had to be a dark hole of hostility buried in his psyche, let’s be honest. The guy made a career of bashing in the face of his fellow man. But never, did I expect to see those flashes of dander thrust upon me.

 I spent two days following his outburst lost in a thick fog of muddled questioning. The independent, headstrong woman in one corner was brushing off the barefaced disrespect and hissy fit he’d thrown, advising that I didn’t deserve such, and to run away with my head held high. However, the lovesick girl in the opposing corner who just felt the desire to be valued by a good man, told me to forgive my sometimes darkly pensive partner. He was under an extensive amount of pressure to make weight, and make sure he was properly armed on every level to defeat Mendez.  So, I called a draw between my battling emotions like any indecisive twenty-something woman would do. I decided there was no way I’d go groveling for some answers since I was clearly the innocent party in the episode. But, offering to hear him out when he did show his face, seemed rational.

Arriving home from work that rainy Tuesday, spitting curses to myself when someone had swiped my front row parking spot, there he stood. I picked the dry skin from my lip, organizing my plan of attack. I couldn’t go too easy on him and run childishly right into his arms. No, I was too unwaveringly thick headed for that. Earning my forgiveness wasn’t a simple task, but it wasn’t an impossible one either. As I ascended the concrete steps closer to the looming figure pacing near my door, I noticed he was drenched. His heather gray sweatshirt, now shaded to charcoal, and his teeth gently chattered behind blotched lips.

“It’s freezing out here, crazy! God, Colton! Come inside.”

I left him standing on the doormat to retrieve a set of clothes he’d left one morning after a jog that had led him here. A tingle eased up my legs remembering the shower fiasco that had resulted from his impromptu visit.

“Here, put these on before you catch freaking pneumonia.”

He emerged from the bathroom, his dripping hair standing in all directions messily just how I liked it. “What were you doing out in the rain, Colton? Are you out of your mind?” I knew deep down realistically there probably was a part of him that indeed was, but that was beside the point.

“I ran from my place to Mac’s this mornin’, before the rain. Except I couldn’t focus on my damn session for thinkin’ about you.” He snapped in my direction, tossing his arms up in a seeming surrender.

Was he blaming me for the fact that he couldn’t train? Trying to fault me for his lack of focus?

“Look, Liv. I ain’t the type a guy who gets into much of the feelings bullshit. But, I do know that I owe you an apology for runnin’ out on you the other night… and the yellin’. I’m sorry for that, too. My pop didn’t raise me as the type ‘a man who speaks to any woman like that. I need ya’ to know that I can promise, you’ll never see that side of me again, outside of the cage. Understand?”

He hadn’t looked to me until that moment. It was almost like the little speech he had just given, was partially aimed as a smack on the wrist for himself, too. I could tell he was sincerely ashamed of his erratic behavior, and who was I to deny the forgiveness his now child-like eyes desired.

“I get it. I shouldn’t have nagged you about the hand. That part of your life is none of my business, and I swear to stay out of it.”

The last words had barely escaped me before he swooped my nervous hands into his.

“Woah woah, hold it, babe. The fighting IS your business. Sometimes, you’re prolly gonna wish it wasn’t, truthfully. That’s not at all what I meant. You’re my girl now Livvy, so anything in my life, I want you a part of. The problem is, the other night when you kept askin’ about the injury, it wasn’t that I was mad that you were concerned. It’s just, I was tryin’ my hardest to pretend it wasn’t a problem. I didn’t wanna have to face that something could’ve really been wrong with my hand, or that the fight may not happen at all because I lost my damn temper during a spar. This fight is all I got right now, ya’ know? It could be make or break for me. I thought maybe pretendin’ it wasn’t hurt, would make it go away, I guess.”

How could I not forgive him? In that intimate moment between the two of us, only the pattering of raindrops on the concrete to hear, he’d revealed himself to me. A part of himself that I had the strong inclination most people didn’t get the pleasure of knowing. I was ready to dive completely in, head first, to whatever was slowly igniting between the two of us.

My small hand embraced his now stubble lined face. “Thank you. For welcoming me into your world, and for the apology.”

He slept over that night, my last conscious memory for the evening being tucked neatly into the deep pit of his arm and dozing off into sleepy oblivion to the light strokes of his hands to my hair. Heat waves rising from his naked chest, to my own creating a pocket of comfort amid the cracks of thunder.

 I awoke at daylight with an intense stretch to be a messy, pink penned note folded in the now empty spot where he had slept, his indention left heavy next to me.

Liv,

Didn’t wanna wake you. Headed to Mac’s to have doc take a look at the hand. Good luck today. Give that shit head Mendez hell for me.

Colt

TAGS: @eap1935 @torialeysha