#if smeyer had been more self aware and less religious we could truly explore that. what OF the girl? | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bbqhooligan · 9 months ago

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through all of it, after all of it, ill still be mulling over Bella Swan. unlike other parts of smeyers writing where the glaring issues take the front seat to parts that are well written or interesting, bella remains special to me. genuinely worlds most boring girl, meant to be a mormon self insert but her humanity fleshes out so nicely its hard not to think this is an interesting character who is stuck in a bad premise. i dont know if many fanfics have it in them to do her justice but i be Wondering.

#mypost #bella swan #twilight #kristen stewart as bella swan in 2008 was my first love yknow.#like shes only ''not like the other girls'' because the narrative compares her to ''Bitch Women'' like jessica or rose #shes only ''cringe love triangle thirst trap'' because narrative has jacob playing this disgusting ass role #shes only ending up in this cheesy happy ever after vampirism because the mormon writing #but what of the girl.#if smeyer had been more self aware and less religious we could truly explore that. what OF the girl?#like edward or jacob or vampirism and the plot ALL need huge reworks. their intrigue is weaker than their problems #but with bella... idk am i biased i always just her as a fellow abusive family teen. traumatized. coping mechanisms to hell and back #she isnt depressed -at first- but shes. emotionally frozen. carefully frozen. and shy and self conscious and...#scared in these ways that make me think renee was as strong in her negative feelings as she was with her positive ones #god shes just a. really beaten down girl who looks strong. who longs for a family and escape escape escape ESCAPE ESCAPE #she longs to be precious and loved deeply DEEP enough to penetrate her thick skin deep enough it warms her carefully frozen self #its so sad. how badly she needs assurance. renee sucks. charlie an emotionally constipated divorcee. and a fuckin. MAN.#bella needs edwards intense ''mate'' connection. because shes so alone. she needs to hear she will be ONE persons priority. forever.#and its god its so sad #i looked over some fics. ''bella swan with a back bone'' and ''bella swan is a self insert'' are the ovherwhelming majority #but of the girl... im tearing up thinking about my girl.. its ok bella... it gets better.....#she was just in high school. like sweetheart it will get better it will get better it will get better. god im #tearing up about bella swan in the club tonight. she was just 17. she couldnt have been in the club but should have been.

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