#if she keeps being his reason to stick around nothing has changed. not living just existing. i think it's good that he's finding meaning

[kingofdinosaurs]

personal take on the fionna and cake ending is that I'm actually kinda fine with simon not having a scene with marcy in the credits. not because they're not important to each other or anything, the star was basically an entire episode about that, but like. from the very beginning of simon's involvement in the miniseries it's like made clear that the support system he HAS is like. 3 people one of whom is also in desperate need of support and the others just... can't always be there. marcy has a life! the tattoo scene mattered because she was HAPPY! she's got her own stuff going on! i liked that the credits seemed to be more about simon reaching out to other people than about relying on the support he already had, because part of the issue was that that just... wasn't sustainable. it's good that he's finding people and meaning outside of the people he knew before becoming ice king. he's moving on, for real. he's actually living life, instead of just... existing.

[ere-the-sun-rises]

Batfam and the Lazarus Pit

This isn't my idea, and I honestly can't remember if @frownyalfred or @bruciemilf came up with this idea first, but it's been living in my head rent free and I need to get it out.

There are Lazarus Pits under Gotham, even contributing to why the city's so cursed. The Bats have each used a Lazarus Pit at least once (maybe not Spoiler and Signal, but I'm not sure). I'm fairly sure it's also canonical that the more you use it, the more prolonged the effects are and it kinda changes you incrementally but permanently.

Enter the Batfam, who train like crazy and are Olympian-level athletes all on their own, and using the Lazarus to help each other on death's door. (They don't tell each other when they do this, and they think it's never been done to them - except Jason, he can always tell - but they also don't share when they've done it to others.)

As time goes on, everyone gets older, stronger, more proficient at their jobs. Some take on younger teams, some proteges, some fly solo or stick around home. It's one of the OG Leaguers who points it out one day when they're having a civilian lunch - probably Ollie or Hal. In my head Bruce is one of, if not the youngest, OG Leaguers. So it's not crazy when Clark or Barry start to wrinkle around the eyes or get grey in their hair well before Bruce would. Bruce is also a public figure - he's got appearances to keep up.

But then ... Bruce is over 40 and his hair is still as black as it's ever been. His wrinkles are from his scowling and focus, only crinkling around the edges of his eyes and mouth a little bit. Idly, Hal wonders out loud if Bat's eyes have always been so dark, almost like coals. Barry notes that Bruce is way bigger than he used to be, that he bulges the suits he wears to galas with his size. Ollie, who's own beard is greying, bitterly points out that even Bruce's stubble is still black.

And suddenly, Bruce hits 50 and he's still thick-chested and dark-haired. The other Bats only seem to get more and more ... more. No non-meta can spar with them anymore unless they hold back and they seem to have endless stamina and pain tolerance. Clark and Diana think nothing of it, but the other fully human Leaguers start to wonder what's really going on. If maybe Bruce had lied to them. But J'onn swears that in their own minds, all of the Bats fully believe they're human. Aside from the suspicion, there's no reason to believe otherwise. They still bleed and scar, no matter how beautiful they seem to remain. No matter that Bruce keeps going and going and going even after others his age have been retired for years.

Fed up one day, Ollie asks him how he does it. Dermatologists? Botox? Just For Men? Bruce snorts and rolls his eyes. He smirks, "Good genes, I guess."

Bruce is nearly 70 when the grey creeps into his hair and his body starts to slow. His children are still active as ever, and when Tim takes up the Batman mantle, Bruce retires to train new heroes. One young hero complains that Bruce hits like one of the Amazons she trained with but he only responds that he's never stopped being the Bat even with tbe cowl off.

And then ... Leaguers start dying. Gradually, age takes them one by one and they's succeeded by the heroes they've mentored and the children who followed in their footsteps. Grey is starting to creep into Dick and Jason's hair, but they're still as vibrant and lively as ever.

It's only when it's just him left of humans of the original group that he actually considers why. If anyone should have died young, it should have been him. And yet, he's nearing 90 and not nearly as withered as some of them had been when they passed away. The vitality he's always attributed to his genetics and continued activity can't explain why all his children remain as beautiful and capable all their lives as he has. So one day, he gathers his wayward children down in the cave like they used to 50 years ago and asks them to be completely honest with him.

"Have any of you used the Lazarus Pit on anyone here without telling them or reporting it?"

The silence he's met with is deafening.

[fandoms--fluff]

Hey sorry to bother you, but can you do a Salvatore brothers x their baby sister who is maybe one or two, and she always clings to Damon, and she is the only one who Damon has a soft spot for please?

Once Upon A Time

Flufftober, October 16th

Baby Salvatore sister reader x Damon Salvatore (& Stefan + Elena)

Warnings: none

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You head snaps up when you hear the door open and close. Jumping, down from the couch, teddy bear in your hand, you run over to the three people who just walked in. "Day!" You exclaim, running over to him, not paying attention to Stefan or Elena who are standing to the side of him.

Damon opens his arms and lifts you up once you run into them. "Hey, sweetheart" Damon chuckles as you wrap your arms around his neck.

"What are we? Invisible?" Stefan asks, a smile playing on his face. Elena covers up a giggle when you turn to Stefan and stick out your tongue.

"That's my girl" Damon pats your back before walking further into the house. "Be happy that he's at least not terrorizing people in town" Elena whispers to Stefan, making him nod in agreement.

"I can still hear you two love birds. And don't think for one second I won't consider to go, as you say it Elena, terrorize people of the town" Damon turns and says to the two of them before continuing his way up the stairs with you still in his arms. "Terrize?" You tilt your head in confusion. "Nothing for you to worry about, munchkin. Stefan and Elena are just jealous that you don't want to be with them right now" Damon tells you as he opens the door to your room.

"My Day" you cling to him tighter. "Yeah, I'm yours. I'm always here for you" He softly smiles as he lowers onto your bed and rest against the headboard. You're still sitting in his lap as you pick up his hand and start playing around with his fingers. You love to play little games like this since you guys were still human, only you knowing the rules to them.

A lot has obviously changed since then. After more than a century before coming back to Mystic Falls, you were mostly with Damon. That being cause Stefan had his ripper problems and he and Damon didn't want him to hurt you. So you still don't know the real reason you haven't been with Stefan a lot, but you just believe it's cause he's really busy doing important things. Your brothers keep most of the killings and the problems, like Stefan's ripper tendencies away from you. And it's worked so far.

He looks back down at you to see your eyes big and looking up at him. "What's going on in your little mind?" He asks you. "S'ory?" You asked, head tilting to the side.

"Hmm....Alright, how would you like a story about cute little bunnies and chipmunks teaming up to take down a brooding and glum boy?" He asks, smirking to himself. He may as well have fun with this. He can picture Stefan's eye roll and broodiness in his mind, this is going to be great.

"Yes p'ease" You nod your head in excitement. You lay yourself back against your big brother, snuggling into his chest as he starts the story.

"Once upon a time there were all these cute and tiny bunny rabbits and chipmunks who were living peacefully in the forest. But then, a boy who doesn't even think to ask permission or the animal's names, like Joe the chipmunk, comes crashing in and takes all their harmony and happiness away. They have to make a move and band together against the mean boy, so..." He creates the story all at once and tells you animatedly, making you giggle. As well as help you lull into a light sleep.

[kattomei]

Fic where insecure!reader who strives for perfection keeps accepting other people's requests at the expense of her health and Sebastian is left to follow her around everywhere because he's concerned and worried half to death, lol.

Wordcount: 4,874

Warnings: none. Just tooth-rotting fluff and a very stressed out Seb.

(this is my first ever fanfic pls be nice...I do appreciate any constructive criticism tho- and I'm also in the process of writing a few others, i alr have a crap ton of drafts so stick around if u happen to like this one! ☺️)

Sebastian noticed a gradual shift in your once-lively demeanor.

Your usual sunny disposition, which seemed to consistently lift the spirits of those around you, was now tinged with a growing exhaustion of some sort.

The usual bounce in your step was replaced by a slightly slower, lagging stride, and your typical bright smile that could instantly push away any dreariness out of a room was now feeling subtly gloomier.

The changes were miniscule at most, but Sebastian pondered internally that, had he not been watching you so closely, he would've otherwise thought nothing was amiss.

Even your conversations had become disheartening, as his recent attempts had only been met with a sense of detachment.

... He had grown to long for your usual, easy flow of banter and witty remarks.

Despite Sebastian's best efforts to keep your exchanges the same, that had only served to make it feel even more forced and one-sided as he observed you in classes, your gaze seeming to frequently be unfocused and your mind, lacking of any coherent thought.

At first, Sebastian dismissed the changes as nothing out of the ordinary, as everyone had all been preparing for the approaching N.E.W.T.'s exams.

He simply reasoned that similar signs of fatigue could be observed in his fellow sixth-years, attributing to the stress that comes with these events.

----

As morning brightness streamed through the Transfiguration's classroom windows, You, Poppy and Natty sat side by side, engaged in silent contemplation, having an almost unspoken agreement on not to converse as the looming threat of exams has all but drained you three completely.

Mrs. Weasley's rather authoritive voice encompassed the otherwise silent space.

Though most of her words seemed to lack any coherence as you actively fought the sleep taking over your slumped form.

You hadn't even realised when the exhaustion had won your silent battle but you're quickly awakened by Poppy's warm palm on your shoulder, fluttering your eyes open to be met with her concerned gaze

"Are you okay?"

The hufflepuff noted the unusual darkness circling your undereye, peering behind you to share a troubled expression with Natty.

"I'm fine, no worries."

You quickly dismissed her and shook your head enthusiastically, ignoring how the action had all but made the room spin.

Natty's worried voice spoke up from behind you,

"Are you sure? It is not like you to fall asleep, and during class hours no less." she insisted.

"I assure you both, I'm feeling quite alright."

You piped, rather frantically and curse at the slight waver in your voice, certain that both girls had noticed it.

You straightened your shoulders from it's slouched position, as if to further prove your point.

Natty's scrutinizing gaze made it clear that the feeble attempt hadn't convinced her, however.

The minutes ticked by slowly, each of them feeling like an eternity.

The class seemed to last significantly longer than usual, further adding to your mild frustration.

However, your clouded thinking, or rather lack thereof, was eventually interrupted by the booming voice of Mrs. Weasley..

"Now, I would like all of you to repeat after me, AH-viss."

Her command was followed soon after by echoed choruses of the incantation from the class.

"Very well. Now, Kindly try it for yourself. Do remember the meticulous 'M' movement, lest you find the idea of being faced with countless squawking, flightless creatures compelling."

She grimaced as though an unsavoury memory flashed in her mind, before shortly replacing it with her usual assuring smile.

Even without paying close attention, you heard enough to know that the spell's purpose was to conjure several, flying medium sized birds.

You Steadily pulled out your wand, and point it upwards, you steel yourself... then tensed.

Pausing for a moment, you rack your brain to recall the incantation.

Just as your worries began to mount, Poppy's clear words suddenly piped from beside you, looking over you see her apprehensively whipping her wand

"Avis!"

Despite the timid attempt at casting, her incantation rang out with such clarity that you questioned briefly if she had noticed your silent struggle.

You silently thanked her eitherway, and with a steadied hand, you took a small breath before casting,

"Avis!"

With a swift flick of your wand, a loud boom reverberated through the air, like a shot from a gun.

As the smoke cleared, your gaze settled on the small, twittering bird now infront of you.

It's wings fluttered clumsily as it heaved it's body afloat with visible effort.

Looking to your right you see Natty with her assortment of conjured birds swiftly circling around her head - a stark contrast to your own haphazardly flying bird.

It was clear that was how the spell was supposed to work, an array of birds instead of the lone creature you had conjured.

Natty directed her gaze towards you as her eyes flicked down and noticed your meager creation.

She tilted her head to examine your chubby aviary.

Her expression turned visibly worried as she noted the sorry state of your conjured bird.

She knew that, normally, your class performance was held to a high standard, often even rivalling her own.

However, observing the stuttered beating of your bird's wing only deepened her concern further.

When class had finally ended, you wasted no time in quickly pushing yourself off your seat and striding out the door, knowingly avoiding your friends' impending interrogation.

You slipped out into the hall, and maneuvered around the sea of students with practiced agility.

As you strode down the corridor, you were keenly aware of the presence of Poppy and Natty trailing behind you, their footsteps growing nearer with each passing moment.

This thought had only caused you to hasten your hurried pace.

Quickly rounding a corner your forehead slams against someone's firm chest.

Two calloused hands perched itself onto your shoulders to help keep you steady, the familiar scent of books and pine fills your senses.

As you look up to confirm your suspicions  you see that it's none other than the subject to most of your budding affections since the past year.

Sebastian's shocked expression shifts into one of fondness as he realises that it's you.

He then presents you with his usual charming grin.

Sensing your distress shortly after though, his face drops, and his warm hand tightens it's hold against your shoulder blades.

"You alright? You look like you've just sprinted through an angry horde of diricawls."

He masks his growing concern with humour in attempt to alleviate your tension and he can't help but crack a small smile as he feels you relax under his palm.

"Merlin, why does everybody keep asking me that.."

You groan loudly infront of the boy, and he rolls his eyes in response, smiling fondly.

"I don't know, It might  be because you more or less resemble a pesky raccoon with how dark your undereyes have gotten."

"Oh, bugger off, will you?"

You merely huff out indignantly and cross your arms in response.

The action only serves to make him laugh, his boyish charm radiating off of his echoed laugher, and you unconsciously melt against his hold.

Sebastian's laughter fades as his gaze dropped back to study you intently, causing you to squirm subtly under the intensity of his stare.

His amusement quickly gave way to concern as he asked with more seriousness, his tone softer than before,

"No, but seriously, you've been looking a bit worse for wear these past few days. Are you sure you're feeling alright?"

"Been keeping a close eye on me, have you?"

You chimed, your lips tugging upwards into a slight smirk before you could stop yourself.

Sebastian merely quirks an eyebrow at your insinuation, and you shift uncomfortably under him when his signature charming grin slowly made it's way onto his face.

He had to admit that he missed your rather flirty  banter and snarky remarks

(Not sure if you ever meant to make it seem that way, but he liked to think you did.)

Sebastian's voice came out casual and nonchalant, almost playful, as he continued,

"Despite your usual, slow judgement, I can see you know. Besides, who could possibly resist keeping their eyes on you? "

His words were spoken casually, yet held a hint of flirtation, a slight jab at your obliviousness to his observation.

Before you could even question what he meant, Poppy's voice rings throughout the hall calling out your name, making you look over your shoulder to see her and Natty steadily closing the distance between the four of you.

Without sparing the boy a reply you swiftly duck against Sebastian's hold and hurriedly jog away from his tall frame.

Not looking back, you beeline to your next class and silently pray that nobody else bombards you with the same queries and worried glances that had been plaguing you all morning.

Sebastian was left to stand alone, shock evident on his face as his arms are left frozen midair where it had once been grasping your slender shoulders, his form unmoving and mind still reeling from your abrupt departure.

Snapping out of his daze, his head snapped from your steadily distancing frame to your friends' approaching figures.

Both girls had finally managed to reach him, and the duo were left slightly breathless.

Sebastian, being the ever courteous lad that he was, waited patiently for the two to gather their bearings before shooting each of them a questioning look.

"That girl does not know when to take a break!"

Natty heaved slightly panting, whereas Poppy slumped over herself from beside Natty, her hands perched on her own chest as visible distress plastered itself on her usual calm and serene face.

"She's been performing quite poorly in class and has even been dozing off. 'Suspect she's exhausted.."

Poppy said, frowning and continued

"It's nothing outrageous for a student of course, especially now during N.E.W.T's... But you  know better than anyone how she normally is, Sebastian. She'd sooner lick the floor rather than let her grades drop.."

She mused worriedly.

Sebastian did, in fact know better than anyone that you would strive for the best grades you could possibly get, seeming to brighten with the validation you received from professor's whenever you performed particularly well in classes.

He couldn't help but sink deeper into concern when he realised that at this point, it wasn't just him who noticed your peculiar behaviour.

He worried what kind of predicament weighed your otherwise steadfast bright and energetic demeanour and cause it to dimmer significantly.

---

This tiring game of cat and mouse continue as the trio fight tooth and nail to try and drag you into resting.

And as another day passes by, more of your mutual friends start picking up on your recent oddities.

Garreth confessed that while he usually did respect you dearly, he couldn't resist the fits of laughter bubbling from his chest at the sight of you, covered in black soot.

You were brewing a batch of Wiggenwald and it all but exploded into your face.

The dark substance had coated your normally otherwise pristine and spotless skin.

After a while even Ominis, despite lacking the significant bodily sensation of sight, managed to notice your tired energy contrasting the usual sunny girl he's come to know.

Everyone tries everything they can to make you rest, but for someone who possesses a considerably fragile disposition you owned a rather steel hard stubbornness

(Much to your friends displeasure).

Normally, Sebastian would think this trait of yours quite endearing, but these days between everyone including him trying to force you to rest and only having you huffing and rejecting is just proving to irk him more and more.

You've been trying to ignore the dizzying sensations badgering you in random hours the entirety of the day.

Afternoon arrives and you're walking with Sebastian and Ominis towards the Potions wing.

Striding rather abruptly, your vision blurs in an instant and the room starts spinning, stumbling slightly you steady yourself in a frenzy and attempt to mask the growing throbbing of your head, hoping to Merlin that both boys had failed to notice.

Purposely avoiding their line of gaze you hurriedly continue to walk forward, missing the deep scowl now etched onto Sebastian's lip and Ominis' visible agitation, the latter's wand pulsing a radiant red.

***

   As Sebastian spots you in the hall the next day, you seemed to look worse than ever before, skin ghastly pale and your usual vibrant face lacking any of it's normal vigor.

You looked ready to pass out at any given moment, before he could stop himself he followed you out of heavy concern, purposely sticking to you at a safe distance, intent and ready to catch you when you inevitably fainted before you had the chance to even hit the floor.

He trailed behind your form as quietly as he could (though he doubted there was any use in that since you looked as if your mind held no coherent thought whatsoever.)

You turned a corner and he stalked silently over to the wall to peek his head out.

Taking in the view just in time to see a Hufflepuff walking over to greet you, stopping abruptly and leaning his back against the wall he hears the girl say

"I'm Adelaide Oakes, you're that sixth year everyone's been talking about since last July aren't you? I've heard about your... endeavours  through countless others and I've been hoping to get some time alone with you..."

Sensing where this was going Sebastian leans forward to hear better into the conversation, hoping, praying that you wouldn't even entertain the idea on accepting whatever this girl was going to ask of you.

The aforementioned said something about suspecting her dear uncle had gotten himself in a band of goblin's bad favours, and she continued by expressing the worry it had all caused her for the past week.

Sebastian mentally cursed as he saw your tired eyes softening at the troubled girl's words, knowing full well that you were going to accept the moment the girl finished talking.

Sebastian suspected you were planning to sneak out the moment classes were over, and his mind was already whirling with ideas on how to prevent you from doing so.

With your last class of the day being Arithmancy, Sebastian had already decided that he would intercept you the second you stepped out of the classroom, determined to stop you from carrying out your plan.

As the Slytherin made his way towards his next class, his thoughts drifted off, and he couldn't help but mull over why you seemed to be so willing to help someone else in such a state. 

Sauntering along, he found himself puzzling over your decision.

He arrived at his designated seat in class and settled down, resting his chin on his palm as his brows scrunched together in thought.

Sebastian found himself lost in contemplation, mentally tuning out Professor Weasley's lecture.

Sebastian reached his conclusion as the class continued, realizing that your willingness to help stemmed from your ridiculously kind nature.

He thought that you simply couldn't bear the thought of saying no to anyone, and he silently lamented this thought throughout the remainder of the class.

***

But of course, something just had to go wrong.

The second Professor Weasley dismissed Transfiguration classes, Sebastian bolted upright and ran straight through the door before most had even gotten the chance to take a few steps from their desks.

'Why does the castle's halls have to be so darn crowded this particular time of day?' 

Sebastian thought bitterly to himself,  shoving his way into the cramped cluster of students.

Reaching his destination infront of the open classroom door, Sebastian cursed again, his eyes darting from side to side as he scanned the room, desperately searching the area for any sign of you.

Spinning quickly, he anxiously scoured the corridor, but you remained nowhere to be seen.

After glumly kicking the nearby doorframe, Sebastian stalked away with a deep frown, opting to wait for your return instead.

He overheard the general direction the girl had pointed you in and thought you would most likely enter through the north exit, passing by a grandfather clock, he noted the time:

5:30 in the afternoon.

With a huff, he sat himself down in front of the giant double doors, stilling as he prepared to wait for your return, ready to tend to you the moment you entered.

----

Weakly striding up the Hogwarts ground's north entrance you reached a hand up to push open the heavy, double door.

The sun peeked out of the horizon, steadily rising as some birds started to chirp, all while the cold morning air nipped against your flushed cheeks, Your palm perched on your forehead as a deep gash on your shoulder prevented you on making use of both hands.

Trudging upwards, you swayed under the dizziness and fatigue.

Besides the crimson slice across your upper arm, your body was littered with bruises and other minor injuries, your mind, foggy.

Wondering how you'd even managed to escape alive and rescue Adelaide's uncle considering your already pitiful state - you had no idea.

Pushing open the large entrance, you stepped inside, your head throbbed painfully as the heavy door slammed shut with a deafening thud.

----

Sebastian's slouched form jerked awake from the echoing sound of the door closing.

Rubbing his eyes, his vision focused on the figure now standing at the entryway.

Hastily standing up to squint at the figure, he's greeted by a clear view of your disheveled appearance infront of him.

Sebastian observed you taking a few steps forward, and he slowly started to stride towards you.

You seemed to be in such a daze that you failed to have even noticed his approaching presence.

Sebastian's concern escalates as he watches you waver and wobble on your feet.

Unconsciously, he transitions his stride into a jog, and then a sprint, quickly closing the distance between you- just in time to catch you right before your body collapsed, preventing your unconscious form from hitting the cold marble floor.

***

Waking up to the view of the hospital wing's pristine white ceiling you gingerly blink a few more times in attempt to try and refocus your vision.

Turning your head to the side, you're greeted with Sebastian's slouched form sitting on a stool beside you. Dark circles encompassed his undereye and his  hair seemed to be messier than usual.

He seemed to be in deep thought, both elbows on his knees and chin resting on his palm, brows furrowed while he chewed on his bottom lip, staring intensely at a corner of the room.

His gaze wandered until it locked with yours, without warning he swiftly straightened his body and clutched your unmoving hand positioned on your side.

He seemed to be in an internal debate with himself as his mouth closed and opened repeatedly.

Finally, after silently confirming that you seemed to be in a steady enough condition, he yelled loudly, making you visibly flinch in response to the sheer volume and intensity of his voice.

"How could you have been so utterly daft!? You've been out doing who knows what, running around the highlands doing favours while  being in such a state!? Imelda had been going at it in my ear for the better part of the morning reprimanding me for ever letting you get away with all of it in the first place-- And honestly I can't blame her! Merlin , If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were intentionally trying to get yourself killed!"

You were speechless, you had expected some  sort of lecture, but definitely not something that  heated.

You stupidly stared at him with wide eyes paired with a slightly agape mouth, until finally managing to sputter something out.

"I-I'm...sorry...?"

You were surprised at his outburst because you hadn't ever witnessed Sebastian being this emotional, except when it was something that had been related to Anne.

Unbeknownst to you, the sight of your bedridden form, pale complexion, cracked lips, and labored, shallow breaths had all but hit Sebastian with a gut-wrenching familiarity.

He simply couldn't bare the concerning resemblance you momentarily held of his cursed twin, and without thinking, he had lashed out the emotions of his revelation to you.

Letting out a shaky exhale he rested his gaze back onto yours, his eyes round and forehead wrinkled.

"You.... I don't understand. Why on Merlin's name, would you do something so foolish? "

Wincing at the sharp edge in the last word of his question, you averted your gaze, shame washing over you as you instinctively pressed your lips together in a thin, tight line.

"I...I'm sorry, I just, I-.."

Mentally cursing at your pathetic stammering, your face steadily grew hot, and your eyes brimmed with tears.

"u-uhm-...."

Your voice cracked, forcing you to briefly clench your eyes shut to contain the tears threatening to spill over.

Sebastian instantly softened and unconsciously rubbed his thumb over the back of your clutched hand.

"I apologise, I... While I daresay this wasn't an overreaction  on my part, eitherway I'm still sorry."

A few seconds of silence pass before he continues.

"I get that you find it difficult to reject favours... But is it truly  that hard to say no for you?"

Swallowing heavily, you slowly shake your head, denying his prior assumption which, in turn earns you a confused stare from Sebastian.

"...I don't do it because I find it difficult to say no to others."

Pausing, you hesitantly look back at the boy and he replies, slowly.

"Then why..?"

Inhaling a sharp breath you continue,

"I do it to feel  like I'm a better person than I actually am.. I'm just constantly worried about what others think of me. This image of being the almighty 'Hero of Hogwarts'  It's...It's like a shadow that follows me everywhere, and... I'm scared of the day when everyone realises that I'm really... nobody special."

"Bollocks."

Sebastian firmly speaks out, making you stare at him with wide eyes.

Brief silence envelopes you both, the slytherin pauses to sigh deeply before looking at you with furrowed brows paired with wide, round eyes before giving your hand another gentle squeeze.

"Where on earth have you been getting these ideas?"

He asks, before his expression of gentle concern shifts to one of anger

"Has someone been planting these absurdities into your head??"

Hastily, you shake your head and it takes a moment for Sebastian to recollect himself before directing an incredulous stare at you.

(as if it was hard for him to comprehend that you could even think you weren't deserving of your reputation and title.)

Because truthfully, he thought you  of all people deserved it most, and he would sooner dive fifty meters off the edge of a cliff before letting you think differently.

He rubs his thumb over the back of your palm again before raising his unoccupied hand onto your upper arm and slowly sliding it onto your shoulder.

"You're absolutely unreal. I mean, the least you could do to appear more human is to grow an insufferably large ego- to match all the things you've managed to do. I mean, of all the thick-headed prats I know... none of them could even begin to compare with all the things you've accomplished."

Suddenly, the room feels considerably warmer, the thick hospital blanket draped down your lower body suddenly becoming more unbearable as the seconds ticked by, you're avoiding Sebastian's gaze as he addresses you with the utmost gentleness you've ever heard someone speak.

"....Think about it, you started late into hogwarts-- fifth year, where OWL's and every heavy workload starts piling up when you were running behind in five years worth of education."

"-And yet you managed to pass through considerably one of the hardest exams in hogwarts being only second to N.E.W.T's in difficulty- and all the while fighting trolls, poachers, goblins and ashwinders and who knows what every other day like they were child's play, WITH your limited duelling knowledge."

Sebastian retracts his hand from your shoulder and launches it onto his messy hair, pushing the strands back with his fingers before abruptly leaning his head back to let out an unbashed laugh and dropping it back down to lock eyes with you.

"Bloody hell, don't even get me started on your duelling. I mean, you managed to beat me! Reigning duelling champion with Levioso! A damn first-year level levitation charm! On your first day, no less!"

The brunette scoffed and rolled his eyes as you giggle, feigning annoyance while he secretly feels himself melt at the sound.

"Yeah, you're probably feeling quite pleased with yourself now, aren't you?"

His scowl gradually faded into an endearing smile as he gazed back at you.

"Good."

Your laughter falters as you're caught off guard by the look of fondness his gaze held as he stared at you.

He continues his verbal tirade, but this time he looks to the side, opposite of you, unable to meet your gaze as he blurts out the last of his confession.

"I don't know how you ever came to the conclusion that you're somehow undeserving of everything you've rightfully earned. Well, I'll even go as far as disagree and say that you deserve more... But- that's not the point"

He falters for a brief moment, stuttering slightly as his ears flush a delicate shade of red, and you can't help but bite your lip, suppressing a giggle at the sight.

He inhales sharply, before continuing speaking, his tone filled with conviction.

"But... I know you better than anyone else. And I can say this with absolute certainty, you are far from a nobody. You're strong... kind,- and one of the bravest people I know. You may not see it, but trust me, you're anything but insignificant."

Your breath catches in your throat as he slowly turns his head back to look at you .

Silence hangs in the air as the two of you lock eyes for a while.

You take a deep breath and summon your courage, raising your free hand, you gently rest it on his, the one that's grasping your own.

His eyes follow the movement closely, then he snaps his gaze back to your face. A demure smile graces your lips, unknowingly making his heart stutter at the sight.

Then, you give his hand a firm, reassuring squeeze, and he swears he felt his soul ascend for a brief second.

Your shared little moment is quickly dissolved as the hospital wing's doors slam open, the familiar view of your friend group marching in.

Instinctively, you tug both your hands out of his grasp, momentarily pulling your conjoined hands, and in turn, Sebastian- forward from the sudden action.

Imelda's familiar rumbustious voice fills the quiet room. "Nice of you to rejoin the land of the living."

She announces, whereas Poppy quickly makes her way over to your side, opposite of where Sebastian was situated.

"Does your head hurt?-" Not giving you any time to reply, she hastily grabs both your shoulders.

"Your shoulders are so tense- I'll ask Nurse Blainey to prepare you a calming draught right after this."

She coos, before swiftly raising a hand over to your forehead.

"Oh my, you're heating up...Your face is unbelievably red- Oh, poor you-"

"Merlin, let the girl breathe Poppy." Imelda barks out a laugh from the foot of your mattress.

You manage to flash a weak smile to the worried hufflepuff before she reluctantly leans back and steps away from your bed.

Sneaking a quick glance back over to Sebastian, you're greeted with the view of him unmistakably pouting, his hand left on the spot ontop of your bed where you had pulled away from him.

Your train of thought is interrupted by the sound of Ominis' musing.

"I can't say we didn't tell you something like this would end up happening if you didn't stop, but you're just as stubborn as our dear Mr. Sallow, here."

Everyone collectively shares a laugh before Natty steps over to your side holding up a pile of parchment.

"It's some of our classwork you missed throughout the day, we all decided to help out in gathering it.... To make sure you wouldn't miss out on any of the lessons."

The girl smiled before putting the assortment of work on your bedside table.

Garreth confesses, effectively causing Natty to rub her neck, and she looks over to you, bashful.

"Thank Natty, She thought about the idea first, she deserves most of the credit."

"Well, I don't share all the same classes with you, so none of this could have been done without everyone's help."

As the group steadily starts talking between themselves, You slowly slide your hand over to Sebastian's, your touch tentative as you shyly maneuver to link your pinky with his, keeping your gaze fixed on your chatting friends.

He's initially caught-off-guard by the gesture but quickly responds by shifting his finger to press gently against yours, his pout transforming into a subtle, tender smile.

In your mind, you made a mental note to talk to Sebastian after your friends left, with the intention of continuing your prior conversation to where it had been left off.

[mockerycrow]

Hey want some angst? (I’m not sure if it is angst lol)

This has been haunting my head so now it shall haunt yours

So you know how ghosts whole family died?

Imagine reader being one of ghosts siblings but they didn’t die and just ran away in the military 

And years later reader and ghost across ways one day and while ghost is happy that their alive reader one the other hand wants NOTHING to do with him and this breaks ghosts heart so he becomes cold to reader but reader changes their mind and wants him to come back into their life and

(This is the part where my head cannon that ghost and Simon are mentally two different people)

While ghost hates reader Simons like “nooo that’s my sibling :(“

And ghost is like “well damn sounds like a you problem”

-🫠

NO BECAUSE LET ME ELABORATE…

You and Simon were the sole survivors—and of course, you didn’t know Simon survived, so you thought you were alone for so long. You ended up developing a harsh exterior, refusing anyone to get close.

You ended up joining the military—it was easy for you to get through everything mentally. Of course you cared for your teammates to an extent, but overall? No one knew you. No one knew what you liked to do, what your favorite color was, no one knew anything about your personal life—you were there to live on in the military. At least it gave you a purpose, right? So you kept training to keep yourself healthy and strong. You began to climb the ranks after a few years—rejecting any friends, any contacts, anything. The only person whose managed to stick around is Chief Laswell—it’s not like you can get rid of your superiors, right? She sits you down, and with you two is an unfamiliar man with military fatigues on, except his jacket is missing, so it’s just his dark green shirt, his camp pants and his boots.

“No way.” You refuse, crossing your arms.

“Why not?” Laswell questions, glancing at you and then at the man. She gestures to him. “This is Captain John Price, the leader of the 141. He’s reviewed your file and he thinks you’d be an excellent fit.”

You shake your head again. “I’ve heard of the 141 and I respect you guys and the work you do, but I wouldn’t be a good fit.”

Price presses his lips together. “Your file suggests you’re a loner, is that right?” You nod, your eyebrows furrowed. Price hums for a moment, looking at you. “We have a loner type in the task force, why don’t you just give it a try? A.. test run of sorts.” And for some reason, you agreed.

And that’s where you met Ghost—and you didn’t know it was Simon right away, but fuck, did he panic when he saw familiar eyes glaring back at him.

You changed a lot—and it wasn’t for the better.

[looniez]

What do you think Link and Zelda did togheter during the time betqeen botw and totk

I'VE THOUGHT VERY HARD ABOUT THIS

this wound up being on the longer side so i'm putting it all under the cut!

a few years have passed between BOTW and TOTK. they don't give us an exact amount of time, but based on context clues it's safe to assume that anywhere between 5-7 years have passed. personally, i think it's likely been 5 years. that's a considerable chunk of time.

i am very firmly in the camp that link and zelda, by the time TOTK rolls around, are a couple. either that, or they've at least vocalized their feelings for each other but have yet to label anything. the baseline is that they very obviously love each other.

post BOTW (but before the epilogue), i think that link brings zelda back to hateno immediately after freeing her. it's important to him that she has a safe place to recuperate and heal and knows that his home is the perfect place to take her.

he makes sure she eats and has plenty to drink. he makes sure she's doing okay. he offers her his bed (more like insists) and keeps a careful eye on her. zelda would feel guilty and maybe feel like she's intruding or being a burden, but link wouldn't hear it and would shut it down quickly.

link sleeps on the floor in the nook beneath the stairs for the first few nights because he wants her to have space and privacy. he usually winds up upstairs to wake her from bad dreams anyway. zelda doesn't sleep well (neither does he) and eventually, link starts sleeping either next to or at the foot of the bed to be close by if she needs him (he needs her just as much). sometimes, he holds her hand and sits with her until she falls back asleep. those nights, he keeps an eye on her. they get closer as the weeks go by and fall back into old patterns from 100 years ago. link remembers more.

when they set out to investigate the divine beasts, it feels so similar to their time traveling together from before. everything is different, but it's like nothing has changed in a way. after, they return to hateno. it's home for them both now without it needing to be verbally agreed upon.

she tells him that he's no longer obligated to follow her anymore and that he's free. zelda feels guilty. link tells her that he's not staying by her side out of an obligation, or because of some century-old duty. he wants to. he chooses her. he would follow her to the ends of the earth.

zelda builds the school. link stays by her side like glue. they fall into a routine, build a sense of normalcy, and live a life with each other as if they are each other's center of gravity.

eventually, they start sharing the bed. it was bound to happen sooner or later. link wound up beside her most nights anyway (this was zelda's exact reasoning. she insisted it was ridiculous for him to continue sleeping on the floor). they sleep much better beside each other.

they keep up the work of trying to rebuild hyrule. they stick by each other's sides through it all.

i really do think that at some point in between BOTW and TOTK, they wind up together. it just feels right to me. even before confirming it, i think that they both understand that their relationship isn't that of just friends, but they might still feel hesitant to cross that line for fear of ruining what they've so carefully built together. the mutual pining is UNREAL!

eventually, it comes out one way or another. they kiss.

when the gloom starts to appear around the kingdom and they head off to investigate under the castle, they are doing so the same way they do everything else: together.

[hello-universe-lovers]

hey

if this doesn't bother you, can you please loredump about your stp voices

like, noooo I'm not here to steal ideas, why in the world would I ever do that

still, I am curious

bonus if you can talk about your ships

Honey, nothing is original anymore/hj

But I plan to have a whole ass au for my version of stp, which changes the voices and princesses. If you want to wait for that, you can stay tuned.

If not. I guess I can go more into my voice ships.

- Stubtunist: this started As a joke, but as I learned about myself: once a joke happens, it sticks. My version of Stubborn lives by KISS (Keep it Simple, Stupid), is Aussie-coded and INCREDIBLY strong. A guy like him would make for easy target for Oppy to weasel into for that extra protection. But overtime, Oppy's attitude changed significantly. Think of it like your Smittunist, except Stubborn is aware he wasn't being genuine, at first. Once Oppy makes an effort to do better, he was one of the first to accept his apology and ended up being his hype man/trainer. My version of Oppy tends to let analytics take over his brain (so he can think who to side with on the fly), to which Stubborn will literally knock him out of it, and keep him on the "not-so-straight-but-good-enough" road. Hell, Stubborn being so open and readable reassured Oppy since he doesn't need to pretend or be afraid of him. If he's upset, he'd let him know.

- CheatBroken: My version of these 2 are different. For one, both are disabled due to the princesses (Fury and Wild, respectively), and they are also girls, so this is Sapphic as shit. Just 2 people with varying degree of "I'm done with the world" getting together to bitch and moan, until something akin to mutual affection forms. They can understand each other physically and mentally, and that makes it so they are the comfort pillow and wake up call both needed. Neither want their attitude to drag the other down, and can recognize the signs of a mental spiral to wake em out of it. There really isn't anything too deep with em, they just happened as a joke (this is a problem/j)

- HeroCold (and basically everyone tbh): oh...them. I don't hate them, mind you. But this is pure crack, from the outside perspective. My Cold shows signs of depression and does the bare minimum to keep himself alive (not that he needs to, but it's a pain to listen to Hero rant about his "health" so he keeps it up). His care for the others are as muted as canon Cold. The only difference is that he has slightly more sympathy. When Hero is stressed from making sure everyone is OK, he is there to offer coffee that he always has. He talks Paranoid out of his own fears, he gets Smitten to tone back on the love poems, he gets Stubborn to stop punching the Wall, and so on. The reason HeroCold is the main ship is bc they somehow became the "parents" of this dysfunctional family. But that's not saying a lot, as they themselves are complicated.

- Smittunist: you must be familiar with this one ;). But mine is slightly different. Mainly, the dynamic is reverse. Instead of Oppy being jealous of the Princess, it's Smitten that's jealous. His main princess of devotion is the Tower, someone who, while appreciative of his company, is incapable of reciprocating his romantic feelings. She sees him as a disciple or priest or whatever, not a "lover". Meanwhile, Oppy has a girlfriend in the Thorn (the princesses are all poly too, your honor), who they treat with tenderness, even if their personalities clash. Sometimes they fight, make out, or just casually exist around each other. But it's REAL, it's DOMESTIC, and by GOD, if Smitten's heart craved it. He of course, never admits it out loud. To be loved by his Goddess is more than enough, why should he be greedy and think about another woman's man's man woman?! Meanwhile, Oppy picked up thst Smitten is faking his emotions (takes one to know one, and all) and since he still has to rebuild bridges, he and Thorn are on their own in deciphering what's wrong with their resident love bird.

And that's all for now!! I have more dynamics in between voices, but these are the ones I thought the most about. If you are OK with more dispersed thoughts on other ships, I am willing to put em here. ContraHero for one is smth I would want an excuse to think more about ;)

[ninjas-and-coffee]

What I love rn about the Ninjago Live action panic is that it has almost nothing about the plot. It's about the collective and primal fear of Chris Pratt and whitewashing.

I have seen a couple plot posts, but like there was nothing to prepare us for the crackfic high-school au of the other movie. So I don't think there's any need to try and guess the plot.

Maybe we should make our own movie. Like guys, we could make the anime everyone lowkey wants from the creators. Almost everyone I know has some version of a plot fixing rewrite or retelling thats almost beat for beat with the source material. But like better with longer character arcs and more cultural accuracy.

Like besides humanity's allergy to group projects, why don't we just do it???.

Like I'll start with the basis of my retelling: S1 but with an already teenage Lloyd releasing the serpentine as a misguided attempt to gain his father's attention and being a shadow villain to the serpentine problem. Followed by a zuko style redemption arc when it is accidentally revealed that he's the green ninja in a combat situation.

The first half of the season is about the teams backstories and picking up the lore crumbs on the serpentine and why Garmadon and Wu separated while trying to figure out who has motive, and opportunity to release the serpentine. And since the Golden weapons are conduits for their power. Their true potential is learning to control their power separately from their weapons by becoming "whole" and reaching their full potential. The second half of the season reveals Lloyd's story and his shift from causing harm to gain attention to just asking for it and learning to be loved. (Yes, and sorry its Lloyd centric but he's the villain of the story untill...) Then the serpentine realize they're better together than apart and relase the Great Devourer and you essentially know the rest.

It would have a rather grim/serious tone and probably have some mixture of the demonslayer or attack on titan style. Leaning into the Japanese lore and possibly leaving hints about the nature of Oni and Dragons as more myth and legend than fact. Until a *minor god (the devourer) is released and this leaves the door open for other things to slowly become real. Personally I think the dragons could have been more sentient and revered than was shown, and I'd probably change Lloyd's name to be something Japanese with "Lloyd Garmadon" as a title he gave himself to be more like his father and it just sticks in the others minds so they keep calling him that until he's ready to shed that skin. I'd probably change the others names too or at least make them region specific. I hate hate hate childs play so I'd delete it. And Nya would take up her samurai training after being kidnapped so she doesn't feel like a burden on her brother. And uh Cole will be gay but due to the time period he feels unsafe telling others and learns to trust them. Also I'd probably kick the time period back to late Edo era Japan because the way of the ninja was still studied but becoming harder to come by. And gives a reason why there are no other Ninjutstu masters or students running around. So they're be reviving a somewhat dying art and be praised for it by commoners.

So now I ask. If YOU could retell Ninjago in a episodic anime how would you do it? What does it follow? What would you remove and why?

[fruitcoops]

Resurrection

Fic O'Ween Day 13: Resurrection, for a continuation of last year's Season of the Witch. Endless love to @noots-fic-fests for another spectacular fest, and of course all the kudos to @lumosinlove for bringing this community together <3 Happy belated Halloween! Thanks for sticking through another year! This fic o'ween was simply a joy to be part of.

There is a house on Lacewing Drive.

This is not that house.

This house is located on Collins Street, a block east of Lacewing Drive. Passerby marvel at its vibrant colors and sturdy bones—friends of the inhabitants joke that it’s simply a gingerbread house, come to life. A street dead-ended by a house so fantastical, it couldn’t possibly be a place people live.

Collins Street is kind enough to divert attention from its (notably odder) neighbor in spite of the creeping vines that continuously attempt to tiptoe across backyard fences. Autumn stretches into being with a yawn and a lazy roll from sun to wind to biting cold, and with it, the earth below Lacewing Drive charges with anticipation. It is the duty of the house on Collins Street to take the brunt of tourist curiosity, and it does so with gusto: peaking eaves, rounded lintels, and statuesque windows draw all wandering eyes while the magic begins to seep forth.

That is not to say there is no real magic outside Lacewing Drive. An argument can (and has) been made that there is more magic on Collins Street, actually, and perhaps the tall dark-haired witch at 126 Lacewing should keep her mouth shut. These beloved arguments frequently go nowhere at all. That does not seem to stop them from happening.

Regardless of presumed magical ratio, November is a quiet month for all. The magic is receding, changing, growing ready for the lumbering of winter and resurrection in the spring. Dormant? Never. Drowsy? Most certainly. The rainy days will start soon enough, then the snow. First frost nibbles the sills every other night. There’s still time for a last harvest before everything goes down, but not much.

November 6th dawns chilly and gray. Lily stretches, yawns, and lazily rolls onto her other side with a mumble of nothing in particular. The window dressings were left open the night before; goosebumps prick her arms, and she burrows down under the burgundy duvet with only a whisper of a shiver.

“Good morning, sunshine.”

“Hrngerfrng.”

“I never get hangovers. You know this.”

Lily’s grumble is lost in a silky pillowcase. Her hair spills in a loose auburn flood to the top of her shoulders before vanishing under cotton and satin thread. The sudden supercharge of magic takes a toll on her—perhaps not as severe as Remus when the seasons change and the moon hangs heavy, but enough to make her head throb and her mouth go dry with the drain of each ritual. A magical hangover, she had complained the first year they moved to Collins Street. That’s what this is. Someone get me hashbrowns, stat.

James flips to a new page and slides a few inches lower under the blanket. It’s a good morning. A quiet morning. Another Halloween, gone without a hitch. Sirius’ raging birthday party, lighting up the neighborhood long past midnight if not for the layers of diversion spells wrapped around the little cottage. The lull is sweet as fresh chai and warms the belly just as deep. Even the newspaper is quiet today, full of lovely, inconsequential things typed up by Eliot Johannes three doors down. The neighbors feel the roar toward Samhain just like the witches do, though they may not know the reason.

November is the exhale after a two-month gasp for air. James is more than happy to spend the morning in bed, enjoying each moment of it.

Harry will be up soon. Seven years old and likely still riding out the sugar rush bestowed upon him by his aunts, who just don’t know how to put candy bowls out of reach—he’s practically unstoppable like this. Like his mother. James loves them both so dearly.

Lily’s hand emerges from the sheets to flail around. “Jamie,” she rasps. “Baby?”

“He’s asleep.”

“Mm. Coffee?”

“Downstairs,” James laughs, squinting at the ‘Best Rated’ section. “Probably with my glasses.”

She’s quiet for a moment, then peeks out with one sleepy, hopeful green eye. “Get some for me?”

“Glasses? Sure.”

“Coffee.”

“You’re a real monster in the mornings, you know that?”

“November,” she offers by way of explanation. “Need coffee.”

“You have got to start listening to Remus.”

“The day I drink chamomile to make myself feel better is the day I go in the ground forever.”

She can’t see James’ eye roll from her faceplant in downy pillows, but rest assured, dark eyes are undoubtedly rolled. Fond, all the same. James is spellbound by her in every sense except the literal and everyone knows it; neither would change a thing about it. It’s mornings like this that make it count. Sore from dancing on Sirius’ dining room table, buzzed from the tingly residue of Samhain magic, both so pleased to wake up beside one another for the thousandth consecutive day.

They built the house on Collins Street together, the four of them, back when love was muddled and confusing with its deep, deep roots. There’s a touch of them in every paint chip and floorboard. Remus’ rich earth tones, Sirius’ stained glass. James and Lily kept the place once they were all sorted, and as such there isn’t a speck of house left without their signatures. Scorch marks from Lily’s cauldrons and scuff marks from James’ boots. Crayon scars on silk wallpaper and vivid paint alike. Candle wax left so long that it may as well be part of the desk, now, because spirits know the actual holder is too far buried to be found again.

“Jamie.”

“Mhm.”

“Coffee.”

James smiles into ceramic molded by Lily’s own hands. “Yes, my love.”

“Mrs. Gibson tried to gimme some of that pumpkin spice creamer.” Lily manages to sound indignant even boneless and half-asleep. “Can you believe? Out of season?”

“No pumpkin spice,” James promises.

“I know you wouldn’t. Love me too much.”

“Sure do.”

Lily is silent for another handful of seconds. James watches them pass on Sirius’ handmade cuckoo clock. “Don’t want coffee.”

“No?”

She sighs and reaches out with both arms, giving a noise of pure contentment when James sets the mug aside and joins her under the covers. “This,” Lily says on a misty November day where nothing bad can touch them. “This is what I want.”

[alexsgrimoire]

Plurality & Paganism: An Introspective

If any of you keep up with my main (@sinfulauthor), you may have noticed this post, along with my new pinned post. In short, I've come to the realization (after burying the thought of it for many years) that we are a Collective.

Now, how does this impact this blog and my craft?

To start off, this blog's content will remain the same. It will still primarily act as an e-grimoire with some additional posts, but the people posting what content will change. Specifically, these people:

-Alex (they/them), the host (hi!). I'll generally do most of the talking/posting. Works with The Signless/Sufferer and Dionysus. ANP that the IRL coven knows. (I'm not open with them about being a Collective just yet.)

-Vaati (he/him), who works with Demise and focuses on divination. Writes solely in cursive and gets VERY frustrated when grimoire notes are in standard print.

-Ghira (he/him), who works with Demise closer than Vaati for Obvious Reasons™️. (Though he generally doesn't do any actual spellwork, just offerings, worship, and altar setup.)

-Karkat (he/they) on occasion, solely because Signless HAS shown himself to him and is very much a Dad™️.

-Toko (she/her) has not yet "awakened." She was a former kin heavily associated with our craft. Taking bets on her being a spellcrafter/writer.

So, now that the roll call is done, onto some other stuff regarding plurality and paganism, the introspection the title mentions. (This will be below the cut as it's not as integral to the "functioning" of this blog.)

So, coming to the realization as a system was... interesting. We first became aware of dissociative disorders through Danganronpa (Yes, Toko's horrible representation. We know.) and related to Toko heavily. At the time, we were heavily involved in the Fictionkin community and had "memories" of those "timelines." However, this relatability on the DID aspect was soon hidden under the guise of "I like to write, and so does she! Also super traumatized like me lmao," and then we didn't think about it for five more years.

Come 2023, we've relapsed for the first time in four years and are going through some pretty traumatic stuff again. At an Esbat in September, an argument breaks out that causes us to dissociate and brings up those really painful feelings from childhood. Nothing felt real, and the rest of the night was foggy. (The people in the argument have since apologized. It was also an extremely stressful night due to our old High Priest being ousted for sexual misconduct not even 4 hours before we started.)

At this point, this whole debacle causes us to realize, "Hey, this isn't really a normal trauma response. There might be something else going on." We have a lot of friends who are systems, and we went to them asking, "Hey, do you like. think we're a system?" and FIVE OF THEM SNIFFED US OUT YEARS AGO AND DIDN'T BOTHER TO TELL US??? Like maybe that would have been useful information, idk (We still love our friends to bits, though)

So, fast forward to 2024. Still in the process of diagnosis but receiving trauma-focused therapy to process things. It's been a long process of figuring out how to live/function as someone with a dissociative disorder, but we're learning.

Thankfully, having a good support network has been a great help. We have an almanac (specifically The Practical Witch's 2024 Almanac by Friday Gladheart) to track our craft/spiritual work, and it's interesting to see the input of everyone in the collective. It's a lot of taking things day by day and seeing how things go, but we feel the energy around us changing.

Anyway, ramble over. If y'all read this to the end, thanks for sticking around. I've got some other posts we plan on making, so keep an eye out for those, too.

Signing off,

Alex of the Magic Collective

[look-at-the-soul]

Peaky Blinders letter exchange

Arthur Shelby x Heaven

Letters master list

💌 So I’m beyond thrilled for this brilliant idea, @raincoffeeandfandoms thank you for creating this project I almost stick to the deadline… not going to lie it was quite a challenge since I’ve never wrote for other than Tommy, but just as in life, I’m always up for a challenge 😉

The first letter was written by @call-sign-shark as the OC, Heaven 🤍 I have to admit this letter made me dream about their encounter, the response as Arthur was written by me, I hope you enjoy!

Summary: After S3c Heaven and Arthur live a peaceful and happy life in their house in the forrest and they are trying for a child. But when Arthur got the mafia’s black hand, he came back to Small Heath. At first he asked his wife not to come to protect her, but their love is so strong, so drug-like, that they kinda withered without each other. So she decides to join him no matter the danger of Changretta’s threats. Arthur receives the letter the day Tommy told him everyone should stick together for safety reasons.

*****

Mon amour, Bleak Winter and brass knuckles, My heart burns in the steel Of your saddened eyes. Night fell upon the city and I’m alone in our house, our big dog lying at my feet and flickering candle lights as sole company. As I watched the moonlight and stars, I felt the urge to write down these words for my heart aches with your absence. I know you asked me to stay away from Small Heath until things are better with Luca Changretta, but I’m becoming crazy between these walls. I can’t stand the idea of you risking your life and not being able to take you in my arms at night to give you comfort, nor to wash away the blood from your face and hands. Admittedly, it sounds like I am writing this in pure emotions and I am pretty sure that’s what Thomas will say, but I have thought the matters for nights and days before taking this decision: I am coming back to Small Heath, and we will fight as we have always done since we have met: together. As long as you’re with me, I know that nothing can happen — and if Death brings its cold and bony fingers around my neck, know that I’ll forever be by your side. But Arthur, I can’t go on without you. Each day without your presence is not worth living: I would rather hold your hand and bath in blood with you than being locked up away from you, safe but decaying. As I impatiently wait for our “retrouvailles” in three days, I keep brushing the golden ring your offered me with the tips of my fingers. Your gravel voice still echoes in my head, the words of your proposal bringing me comfort in my darkest and coldest nights. I remember how pained you looked when Tommy told us to wait for this gang war to be over before getting married but I think this is not a good idea. Quite the contrary, this is one rule we should disobey. Even in the midst of battle, I am ready to wear my white dress and deliver my vows, flowers crowns on my head and razor blade in my hand. If sky fall apart and hell breaks loose, at least we’ll leave this world as husband and wife — but don’t get me wrong, I am pretty sure no one will make you bow. Don’t forget that you’re a strong man. Stronger than you can imagine, stronger than everyone thinks. I believe in you, and always will. In the meantime, keep me in your heart and I promise I’ll soon be in your arms, Forever yours, Your angel Heaven.

-

My dear Heaven,

There’s no more room for sadness for me since the day you walked into my life. Last night I had a dream, it was already dark and I was sitting alone, you suddenly appeared out of nowhere and everything changed; it was a sunny day and we were walking hand in hand around the forest that surrounds our home. I just wish it could be true and you could be by my side, you can’t even imagine how much I dream of you…. Finding your letter early today gave me peace, but the day has been a fucking nightmare and I just got the chance to answer your words in the middle of the night. How I wish it was me lying next to you, feeling your warm body calming my busy mind. Don’t let out dog get used to it, though as I intend to take my spot back once this war is over. If only you knew how much your love means to me… you saved me from the darkness. It’s been lonely nights without you darling, but the sacrifice will be worth it, we will be able to go back to our routine and start the family your heart desires, but your love is giving me the strength I need at this moment, that’s what keeps me going. I need you to stay away from this mess, that’s the only way I have to protect you. Oh no, you bloody what?! Heaven, love that’s the craziest idea, I miss you so much yes, but there’s no way I can put you in danger, Small Heath isn’t a good idea right now… and please don’t even think about it, I’d never let anything bad happen to you. But as I know, once you make a decision there’s no way to convince you otherwise, so just let me make adjustments and prepare the way you’ll get in so it’s the safest, at least give me that peace eh? I cannot wait until we get married, but again if you already decided you don’t want to wait, we’ll do it right away. You’ll be the prettiest bride, you’ll look like an angel…and later after all of this passes we’ll have a bloody big celebration. Don’t worry about Tommy, he’ll understand. Your words mean so much, I treasure it so close to me heart my dear. I’m looking forward to our “retrouvailles”. I just know having you close will give me peace. Always in my head and heart soon to be Heaven Shelby. Always yours, AS.

****

Tag list:

@runnning-outof-time @call-sign-shark @shelbydelrey @raincoffeeandfandoms @there-goes-thefighter @dandelionprints @zablife @cljordan-imperium

I don’t know if you read for Arthur, if not that’s okay!

@lyarr24 @esposadomd @elenavampire21 @stevie75 @babaohhhriley @fastfan @forgottenpeakywriter @mrkdvidal1989 @shaddixlife @moral-terpitude @pono-pura-vida @ange-thoughts @onlydeadcells @lespendy @sloanexx

[knighthelm-aes]

So anyway

Talked to my dad on the phone a couple days ago and laid out my holiday plans. They’re doing like 12 things in the next week, and I, who historically has dreaded this time of year due to being neurodivergent in multiple ways that make celebration very unenjoyable, said I would only like to see the fam for Christmas like we usually do, and nothing else. When I said this, and explained hey I am burnt out, my dad immediately said “Oh, so you don’t want to be around us?” And i said firmly “That’s not what I said.”

After this call I was really proud of myself for sticking to my guns and not letting myself cave to the pressure, especially after being hung out to dry for Thanksgiving. I wasn’t happy that my dad was disappointed but I know change is hard but like I’m almost 30.

I texted my mom my plans to keep her in the loop, and she started asking like is there anything I can do to help with your burnout, whats going on, etc etc. I explained I didn’t need anything and thanked her for her offer, and that I would text her the next time I wanted to go for coffee.

Queue 7am this morning I get a text from my anxious mom who is worried about me spending the holidays alone. I assure her I am fine, that I just want to protect myself this holiday from a lot of the pressure, that I only get two days off and it’s a hard and busy week at the clinic. She asks me for what makes Christmas hard and at this point I’m losing my patience because I feel like I’m being guilted into going.

I always feel like I have to justify how I feel or my reasoning for things; and when I was in therapy earlier today my therapist said that I really don’t need to justify anything and I can just feel the way I feel. And like I have never and will never be in a family that is okay with my feelings on the subject so like idk why I even bother explaining in the first place because no answer is ever going to be adequate.

So I told my mom historically this has been a time of year where there are more outbursts and social pressure in the family that I am trying to avoid. She asked for specifics and I finally just gave it to her straight: sometimes (almost every year) dad has had outbursts and I have also felt for the last number of times I have met up with him I feel very unheard and belittled. This is something I communicated to both my mom and sister so it’s not news to them. I then also said that my mom’s divorced side makes me miserable and that I have been begging us to do less over the holidays, but that it’s clear they want to do these things so I have to change how I go about these things.

I really can’t emphasize the fact that this has been a plea of mine for literal years since I was a kid. And later when I told my sister about all of this she referenced how “we are protective of this holiday” but that is mostly because of what I have been asking of them.

I also can’t begin to recount how many times this stupid holiday has ended in tears with various members of my family. For me, it is frankly a time of heightened emotional and verbal abuse. My parents did a lot of get me and my sister nice things but ultimately I would trade every single one of those things for time where we felt like a family, and not trying to force joy when my dad is raging in the other room because he imagined my mom had an attitude when she spoke to him, or the video camera couldn’t turn on, or one of us didn’t react correctly to a present, or my grandma is making our lives hell for not wanting to spend the whole day with her, or us wanting to see grandpa as well, or having to listen to my uncle verbally abuse his wife and daughter, or the political comments or an argument because my uncle doesn’t like the food or on and on and on and on. I can’t do it.

Anyway my mother is giving me the silent treatment, and I texted my sister like “well that blew up in my face” and she pretty much was completely unsympathetic, and despite being the one to encourage me to set a boundary she said this was “a lot more than I thought you meant” and that “i thought you were trying to get closer to them” and when I was anguished about how I feel our relationship (with my parents) is falling apart because we can barely hold a conversation anymore she literally told me that “i don’t think you can avoid talking about this” because it was that bad. So part of the last message I sent my mom had her wording in it and she told me this boundary that she literally encouraged me to set, and that she was going to try and set one herself as well, was too much. And when I pointed out that I doubt anyone would throw a stink if she said she wanted to spend part of the holiday with just her and her husband, she flatly disagreed.

So, I have no one in my corner ever, even if I take their advice. I am always wrong. I am always too hysterical, too antisocial, too mean, too harsh, too spoiled and undeserving of any compassion. Everything I do or say is taken in the worse possible light. I fought in my bed because it made me literally suicidal after I got off work and frankly at this point I know it would be a blessing to them. My dad could be even more conservative now that he doesn’t have a gay daughter, my mom would have less people to worry about and my sister would move on because she has plenty of friends and has never really seen me as her equal. I won’t do anything because maybe at the other end of this there is some way to come out more independent and stronger.

For now I just wait for whatever or whenever my mom is going to reply to my message and it’s going to be bad, so there will be an update soon; you can bet your bottom dollar on it.

[bullet-rebuttle]

New Verse: Bad ending/Ghost au

Base information: an au where the killing game happened and whoever was the killer escaped leaving everyone else to be executed. Tw for body horror below the cut.

Based on the executions here.

Shigure:

Appears with rope squeezed around his wrists and neck with the arrow through his chest, his heart at the end of it all. Despite everything, he continues smiling just as he did before death acting like nothing is wrong.

Akihito:

Is still completely covered in his own blood with knifes still slashed into him not that he bothers to look at as if he did he would pass out. Finds himself unable to stand from dizziness caused by blood loss , refuses to believe he is dead and still is trying to earn peoples favor by the manga he was writing before dying to an obsessive degree.

Rika:

Is completely covered in slices, almost seeming like she is gonna fall apart at points if she bothered to move: due to her siblings death she finds herself completely defeated even as a ghost contrary for her hard working nature beforehand.

Tsuyoshi:

His ‘body’ is barely even visible due to all the vines and flowers covering it. The most that can be seen is an eye and sometimes his hand. Routinely coughs up more plants which scratches his throat making his voice sound awful. Still tries to remain as kind as before, but..yeah proves difficult.

Yamane:

Unlike the others; she has nearly lost herself entirely being more of a ‘vengeful spirit’. Almost appears as if her skin itself is coming off as she hunts for whoever was the reason for this. Barley acts like herself from before other than trying to make sure her peers keep her in mind as her last moments was her execution trying to make people forget her.

Ume:

The hardest spirit to see as not even a body was left behind in her execution. Almost seems more of a ever changing phantom as her spirit almost always seems to be changing like her old artwork. Her views on her death are harder to figure out as she almost seems more as a blank slate.

Hayato:

Covered in intense bruises due to being beat up so much. Is contsnatly looking for Giichi believing he had failed him in the way along with his other classmates. Can’t careless what happened to him despite all the pain he experienced.

Naoko:

Half of him is covered in flames and intense burns while the other half is covered in things like black spots among other symtoms of the bubonic plague. Is even more weak and frail than he was even before and while he is better than the others in terms of understanding and accepting his death, it still troubles him due to this not being what he was expecting.

Mizumi:

Unlike others who at least have some ‘body’ remaining, Mizumi does not being left with only a skeleton only reconizable as her due to her pirate speech and outfit she put herself in despite all the water damage. Similar to Akihito, she refuses to believe she is dead, but this time its due to her own pride. Also quite vengeful about what happened internally though.

Yukino:

Looks like more of the stereotypical fiery white spirit with the only color on her other than that is her still red eyes. Otherwise her injuries are limitted other than it being difficult to walk due to other spirt hands trying to pull her back down to the ground (think of the river sticks ghosts). Accepts her death even if she finds this anger inducing.

Etsuko:

Skin nearly looks blue from hypothermia and is just as cold as ice enough for some to mistake her as such. Enough to give even living people chills if she is near. Her kind and positive personality tries to remain, but its a lot more forced and hard to show off due to the intense cold air surrounding her. Occasionally coughs up water from drowning and easily gets dizzy.

Kaori:

Completely blind due to having her eyes torn out and is covered in intense, deep gashes with bits of her hair and skin torn out along with her outfit being torn. Unlike before were she will at least speak if given permission, she doesnt talk anymore at all due to fear about whatever is going on around her as her execution stunned her to silence.

Takumi:

Due to being blown up, he almost always appears covered in flames with his ‘body’ parts falling of often leaving him rather limited along with some of his bones and brain exposed. Covered in third degree burns. Still has the remains of the bomb attached to his chest. More vengeful than other spirits, but not to the same extent as Yamane. Barely manages to keep himself composed and casual to hide his anger and regret.

Raijin:

Covered in many scraps and some third degree burns around the face and chest from hitting the ground along with having multiple gashes surrounding him from the planes engine. Views himself as a failure for not being more help to everyone giving up his hero persona like in the tragedy verse. Has lost his passion for flying now terrified at the mention.

Giichi:

Barely is able to stand due to all the body parts stolen from him. The surviving parts look as if they are gonna fall off or be torn any minute with an example being his left eye which is gorged out. Has given up his act being extremely angry about everything showing his old anger towards how his life has gone. His kind side is only shown to Hayato who he tries to help calm down.

Sumiko:

Most of her is unusable keeping her mostly stationary from the long fall she went through. Constantly is looking around for Oshia wondering if she just hallucinated her before while trying to ignore all the pain and bruises from her fall.

[midwesternorcprincess]

so my evil uncle, as i've called him for several years now, well, it's complicated, i guess. i called him my evil uncle because he was very nasty for a while about ten years ago to my parents and my sister, who did him no wrong. he accused them of stealing from my great-grandma, which i take as an almost unforgivable insult. we were so poor we could barely afford food at the time, my parents were both going through major health issues, and my great-grandma would buy us groceries of her own volition when shopping. but my uncle is such a controlling hardass who has to have everything his way, that to him that was stealing i guess because HE didn't want it done, never mind what my great-grandma wanted to do with her own money. and he changed the locks so we couldn't get into her house or my grandparents' house (again none of us has ever stolen anything in our lives and we had nothing but great relationships with these relatives)

and that was the last straw for me, but it didn't come out of nowhere. he's always just started stupid ass arguments wherever he goes because of that need to control people who are minding their own damn business. he'd cause problems at almost every big family gathering, he sold real estate in town for a while until literally no one was willing to deal with him because he'd do the same there, he had pretty much only one friend from college who was still willing to stick by him, and even then he was constantly trying to rein him in. couldn't keep a woman around obviously, until about fifteen years ago he finally got one to marry him, god knows how they pulled that off

but, up until the incident a decade ago, i'd always have mixed feelings. he was very fond of me - he's my godfather - and we'd have a pretty good time when it was just us, or like us and my grandma or something, you know, a small group with someone he actually respected, which is very few people. he and my mom are the only people in the family with higher education (and now there's one more, me), and he was the only one who cared about science and things like that (he had a biology degree), so we kinda had that in common when no one else in the family did. so we'd bond and have fun sometimes. and then he'd turn around and start these dumbass fights and i'd get mad at him, but then we'd have fun again, and this was a neverending cycle

but as i said, in the last 10-15 yrs, i'd given up, started avoiding him, and after he did that to my parents, cut off contact and blocked him completely (he also provoked me by being nosy and wanting to know shit that wasn't his business) and refused to see him or speak with him. and also he was homophobic and went way down the Trump rabbit-hole. idk if he knows about my gf, but i can't imagine he has any good thoughts about trans ppl so i wanna keep him far away from that info.

but my mom and eventually even my dad came back around to him, far too easily at first, if you want my opinion. but he has by all accounts been good to them in the last two or three years or so. and he and my mom had to sort out all the shit with my grandparents' estate, since the other two siblings are even bigger dumbasses and caused all kinds of problems for everyone, so maybe there was a factor of my uncle and my mom having to be a team and deal with them.

my mom's always been too forgiving. especially to her siblings and their clans, who emphatically do not deserve it and don't even try to appreciate it, they just treat her like a punching bag. she's just the hug it out and cry type who always thinks there can be love and harmony again no matter how many times she's proven wrong. so for the last few years she's been trying to get me to come around and forgive my uncle too. and i've kind of been my own hardass, which i think at first was healthy skepticism. i had no reason to believe he wouldn't stir up shit just as soon as i turned around. but after so many years i think now it's my pride too, not wanting to give in, so i've refused contact still. he has reached out to me a few times and apparently really wants to repair our relationship (we never even had direct conflict, i voluntarily broke it off because of how he treated my parents) and i wouldn't.

but then come a year ago, my grandpa died so there was no avoiding it, i'd have to see everyone for the first time in almost a decade. and when i saw my uncle i found him suddenly very hard to hate. and he lit up a little in his way and i remembered the old affection i used to feel. and i think maybe i found him a bit pitiable. it's his own fault he's run everyone out of his life, but he lost his job and his wife left him and he started getting health problems and then the other two dumbass siblings started hating him for executing my grandparents' will and not letting them squat on my grandparents' property anymore because it needed to be sold. so my mom's right, i do kinda have to feel bad for him. certainly i feel much more inclined toward him than toward the other siblings.

but anyway my mom is pushing it way too hard, i am trying to come around and soften up and be forgiving in the best way i can. i guess she wants me to go about it like she does, all emotional and heart-to-heart and touchy-feely and all. but i can't be that way. idk if she understands that softening up my way, at a distance, is the only way i can start. my uncle's starting cancer treatment and she wanted me to call him and wish him good luck. fuck no i can't do that. but i genuinely want to extend an olive branch. or like, accept the one i've been repeatedly offered. so i think i'm gonna sew him a bear? i even got nicer fabric for it. and send it with a get well card or something. i kinda don't even want to tell my mom i'm doing it. my pride again i guess.

anyway character development. i think. i hope i don't regret this. but idk, maybe i should not be regretful if he starts acting like a jerk again. i guess i should only worry about the way things stand now and what's in my own control.

[orionlakehastodie]

Lol thank you S2 of Shadow and Bone

Okay you know what, Alina did not deserve Aleksander.

The initial draw that Darklina had for me was it's Reylo parallels

Aleksander and Ben are both people who wanted something good but the means they used to justify those ends are only moral in a utilitarian sense

-Ben has been persecuted all his life for being Vader's grandson, was preyed on by Palpatine and his own mother, father and uncle looked at him like he was some big problem and so he wanted to be ruler of a galaxy where he will no longer be persecuted

-Aleksander has been persecuted all his life for being Grisha, he has watched his own family die, his lover, and countless friends

-Both of them find an unlikely soulmate in the hero of the story

-Rey is an orphan seeking belonging, finding purpose in being the Last Jedi and being the savior of the galaxy and yet she's inexplicably drawn to Ben Solo

-Alina is an orphan seeking belonging, finding purpose in being the Sun Summoner and being savior of Ravka

Then there's the sizzling Force Bond connections between them that make everything extra appealing because who doesn't appreciate Force Bonds people?

But here is where things differ:

-When Rey found out that all of this happened to Ben (this meaning Luke tried to kill him, he has been hearing voices in his head, he feels alone) >Rey almost kills Luke, confronting him for what he has done >Ships herself to her Space Husband and tries to save him from Palpatine -When Ben however being the idiot that he is still chooses to stick with his rule the galaxy plan, Rey says fuck this and (rightfully) fights against him -Ultimately though, she admits that she wanted him, but not as Kylo Ren but as Ben, her Ben that she knows is in there

-Ben realizes that living wanting revenge and being angry all the time was not helpful to him and tries to make ammends -He saves Rey and I may not agree with his death as it truly defeats the purpose of his character arc but it was in keeping with character - Ben loves Rey more than anything, more than his own revenge

In the end the Dyad becomes a true soulmate pair, they love each other so much that they are willing to do anything for the benefit of the other, they love each other so much that nothing else matters.

This season 2 of Shadow and Bone was only palatable because of the chemistry Jessie and Ben have but ultimately

-Alina is a thoughtless, selfish child. She could not grasp why Aleksander did all of this in the way Rey understood why Ben did what he did to become Kylo. In her head Aleksander is just a monster, who lied to her and deceived her and she's the big warrior ready to defeat the big bad monster -I always hated Mal but I truly felt and sympathized with him this season because unlike in the books - Mal is fully supportive of Alina in her ventures and did not try to stop her from using her powers. He just tried to stop her from combusting and killing everyone around them. But how does Alina treat him - she ends up getting engaged to a Prince she flirts with THEN gets angry at Mal when Mal doesn't get jealous/hurt/fight for her. Like Alina girl, make up your damned mind about this. -She has no sympathy for anyone, and only feels bad for herself, seeking Merzost -in the end she uses the Cut which is like yeah, obviously, your girl was hungry for this power

-Aleksander was well fleshed out this season and we see the complex feelings he has for his mother and Alina, but as Ben Barnes described it the toxicity within him where he is unable to see reason in the way Ben Solo did his - therefore he was incapable of changing for people he loved

So in conclusion, I'm not so angry at the way this ended because truly Alina did not deserve Aleksander OR Mal OR Nikolaj. She's just this petty pathetic poorly written girl who's only value is that she can summon the sun.

Aleksander deserved to die because he would have never stopped his search for power because that came before love, before anyone or anything. His desire to save Grisha has been corrupted and in that way he never would have stopped even if he became Tsar.

Also kudos to Mal for breaking up with Alina. Like yes please run for your life this girl does not know what she wants and just uses people wishy washy

Can we be done with the Grisha arc because I'd much rather see Nina, Inej, Zoya and Genya featured - I loved how Inej and Kaz blossomed in this season and Jesper and Weylan are so cute. I need to see Nina and her Fjerdan together again

Also don't get me started on Genya - like was that fucking necessary.

I mean I never had high hopes about Leigh Bardugo but really kudos to the chemistry between Ben and Jessie and how they really brought some form of humanity into these characters that got me to love them, but no amount of Ben and Jessie can save this truly atrocious writing.

I also recently saw an interview where Ben was like - the way to win an Oscar is if you do something less good with me the year before and I really felt for him, someone needs to give Ben Barnes the script he deserves :(

[amillixnvoicesarch]

headcanon ( v: heavy is the head that wears the crown )

( tagging you so you can share these feels with me @legeandary ;___; )

-

The days are passing in a bit of a BLUR. Alex had called NYU and asked to take the week off for obvious reasons but asked his professors to send him the materials for his classes as well. He’s not entirely sure whether or not he’ll get much done considering how hectic things are, but there’s many things Henry has to do that he doesn’t really have a say in, or is around for, so there’s time. Time Alex has to fill so his mind won’t go rogue on him.

He tries to be there for as MANY events and talks as he can, but he’s not exactly helpful during most of them. Henry knows more about this than he does, obviously, and so Alex tries his best to keep busy. Pez is back in New York, keeping an eye on the foundation, and Nora and June have gone with him for the time being. They both have places to be, but most of their work can be done from wherever as long as there’s a computer nearby, and Alex can tell they’re worried about him, so it makes sense for them to stick together, to keep each other from spiralling.

Alex mostly talks to himself, and to David, to keep from going out of his mind, even though Amy’s still there with him. He likes her, she’s been around for so long at this point, but it’s not like he can just DUMP his feelings on her. He wouldn’t do it either way. She follows him around like a shadow though, and when Catherine invites him to tea with her and Philip, Amy gives him a look, asking You gonna be okay? The words conveyed with nothing but her eyes, and Alex nods. So Amy stays in front of the door when he steps into one of the many rooms in Buckingham Palace that he’s sure are not used for anything and are merely decorative at this point.

There’s tea, but it seems to be about as decorative as the rest of the room, because neither Philip nor Catherine are touching it. “What’s up?” Alex asks, head cocked to the side as he watches them both.

“We need to talk.” Philip, though they’ve gotten along better before,  these past few days, seems to be more tense than ever, his lips a thin line as he stands, hands clasped behind his back. “Things have obviously changed, so adjustments need to be made.”

“Yeah...I’m aware,” Alex frowns, wondering if Philip’s somehow missed the memo that Henry and Alex’ entire lives have been turned upside down in the last few days.

“What he’s trying to say,” Catherine interjects, her voice much softer than her son’s. “Is that...this changes everything. For better, and for worse.” Alex knows that she’s not had an easy life either, and things would have gone better for everyone if the Queen had lived maybe a little longer, or if Philip hadn’t STEPPED DOWN. But that’s wishful thinking, Alex knows as much.

“You’ve been courting a prince who was unlikely to ascend to the throne, which is why things could go on as they did. Should you and Henry call it quits, then the media would have made a fuss about it, but it would have blown over. Now, however...” She sighs, “You are courting a KING. The ruler of an entire nation, and if you’re to break his heart, then that would cause nothing short of a scandal.”

“I’m sorry, calling it quits?” Alex tries to follow the line of thinking but comes up short. He knows that Henry’s worried about it, rightfully so with everything changing, but Alex can’t think of a moment in time where he’d given even the SLIGHTEST indication that he’s not in this for forever.

“We’re saying you need to STEP UP.” Philip interjects, and Alex notices he hasn’t once moved from his position across the table from him. “A proposal. An official announcement, as fast as possible. It’ll be enough of a distraction to keep most people busy and from speculating why Henry is the one who’s taking the throne.”

They still don’t really know WHY Philip hasn’t taken his rightful place on the throne, it’s been too busy to ask, and the other man isn’t exactly one to wear his heart on his sleeve. Given any other situation, Alex would have tried to be...UNDERSTANDING at least, but the confusion he’s feling is slowly turning into anger. He can feel it bubbling up in his chest, hands clenched into fists at his side.

“You’re being serious about this, aren’t you?” He tries his best to keep his voice calm, but it comes out as more of a hiss than anything else.

“Well, obviously. Sacrifices need to be made for the greater good of the kingdom.” Philip continues, speaking almost nonchalantly, and Alex really, REALLY wants to punch him in the face.

“Alex, dear.” Once again Catherine’s voice is softer than her son’s, her hand coming to rest on his arm, but he steps away from her, shaking his head.

“You can’t possibly want this for Henry?” He’s thought about marriage, of course he has. Even before the whole throne debacle, because when Alex had said FOREVER, he’d meant exactly that. But this? This is wrong on so many levels, that he doesn’t even know where to begin.

“You’re supposed to be looking out for him, you’re his family! Mierda...” He curses under his breath, “And my love for Henry is not a fucking pr stunt for you to exploit!”

Philip opens his mouth to say something, but Alex can hear the blood rushing in his ears, and he knows he has to get out of there before he does something he’s most definitely going to regret. Or well, something that he’ll regret because of the consequences it would have for Henry.

The doors to the room fly open, and even though he doesn’t look, he knows Amy jumps into ALARM MODE. Alex barely manages to wave her off as he storms down the obscenely large hall, his footsteps echoing off the walls.

He makes it to their quarters, the door much EASIER to slam shut behind himself than the others, and so Alex does exactly that. It does nothing to dissolve his anger though.

He thinks back to when his mother had been willing to put her career on the line just to see him happy, and how Henry’s barely ever had that for himself, it’s not fair, and Alex wants no part of it.

He can feel the anger still, cursing under his breath as he paces across the room, back and forth, but nothing seems to help. Every time he feels a momentary relief he thinks about Philip’s cold expression and Catherine’s willingness to exploit her son for ‘the greater good of the kingdom’, and white, hot rage flashes in front of his eyes. Alex’s hands are still balled to fists, and he’s not sure when he decides that it’s going to help ( spoiler alert: it won’t, but he can’t bring himself to care ), but the next time he feels that surge of anger, his fist hits the nearest wall.

Turns out, the walls at Buckingham Palace are pretty sturdy, his hand only leaving a small dent as the PAIN shoots up his arm.

“FUCK!” Alex curses, shaking his hand and watching as his knuckles begin to bruise instantly. It does, at the very least, shake him out of his stupor, and Alex sinks down onto the nearest chair, holding his hand close to his chest.

It’s only when he takes in a shaky breath that he realizes his face is wet with TEARS. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!