#if people act horrifically in your circles

[vmures]

If you've done something horrific and want to apologize, you might want to avoid stating you are now a martyr. Kind of negates the apology by showing you aren't actually sorry for harming people, you're just sorry that others in your in group are mad at you for it.

It's also important to realize that no one owes you forgiveness for your actions. You have to do the work--understand why what you did was wrong, get help to deal why you behaved the way you did, and work to be a better person in the future.

None of it is easy, and you will likely have to deal with a whole lot of returned ugliness because of your actions. Are those people in the right to be just as ugly and awful as you, probably not. But they're just as human as you and reacting from a place of pain and trauma. Hopefully, they too will learn that lashing out is not the best action and that it creates a vicious cycle of ugliness. But painting yourself as the victim when you were the initial bad actor...looks really awful and strongly invalidates your apology.

Grace is one of the hardest things to offer when one is hurt and upset. Asking for it when your apology comes across as insincere and self serving...is not the greatest idea.

[vigilskeep]

i need to wynnepost. somebody has to

[f1ghtsoftly]

I would like us all to collectively chill out about rooting out fake lesbians. Many lesbians have sexual or personal trauma/addictions that led them to sleeping with men or were simply put in a position, by force or otherwise, that they could not refuse a man.

I do believe women misidentify as lesbians and sometimes, you can catch a vibe about someone, but I really want to caution women to weigh the risk of regarding another sister with suspicion or wasting too much energy on rooting out “fakes”. When we do that, we risk attacking or isolating lesbians who’ve already been through an ordeal, whether it’s time in the sex industry, sexual assault or religious trauma etc…they’re probably the ones who need our community and support the most.

So just make sure you’re sure in your suspicion and you’ve already explored other alternative explanations for why someone would be acting funny or have a history with men before you suggest they’re a fake.

I feel like I write this on all my posts but, if you aren’t someone who’s dealt with sexual, religious, physical abuse, homelessness, drug addiction etc…I can’t encourage you enough to read up on how situations like that effect people because sometimes surviving those situations turns you into a person you thought you could never be and you would do anything to survive it and not lose your mind. So please, have some compassion, be a little skeptical and be grateful if you’ve never been in a situation like that! But also keep your mind open that you can be a lesbian and have slept with men, sometimes not even through direct physical coercion but because you need money or you believe you’re going to hell or a million other completely valid, horrific things society does to try to convince women they’re better of being raped and hating themselves then being who they are.

And if you see this post and say wow! No one in my circle is like this please send me some of your favorite blogs ahaha because this post is inspired by someone who acted like this and they’re not necessarily representative of the lesbian community writ large, but they’re enough of an irritating minority that I’ve encountered them before and wanted to write this post.

[hoseokslefteyebrow]

The Anomaly || JJK || 0

Prologue

summary : In which you're isekai'd from your (own) parallel Jujutsu Kaisen universe to the canon universe.

wordcount : 1.3k

Pairing: Jujutsu Kaisen X Reader, eventually Character x Reader (idk who yet tho)

Masterlist | Next

[ 19.58, parallel Jujutsu Kaisen Universe ]

Your eyes narrow, taking in the scene in front of you. This fight is becoming tougher by the minute. 

The special grade cursed spirit across from you smiles, it's face agonizingly similar to that of a human's. 

You're weighing your options. This special grade seems to have powers that connect with space. It can move at an impossible speed, managing to pop up in the nick of time in a completely different spot meters away. 

It's powers are powerful. Currently, you're a second grade sorcerer. You're powerful, but more against curse users than actual spirits. You can do a lot of things other sorcerers are still dreaming of. 

Your cursed technique is Water Manipulation. Like the name suggests, you can manipulate and change the structure of any body of water. You're powerful, but especially against people, as they are made up of 60% water after all. 

" It seems you're losing. "

The cursed spirit is laughing at you, it's dark, hollow eyes scrutinizing you as it takes you in. 

You huff at him, forcing yourself to stand your ground. You raise your arms, ready to continue your fight. 

A fake, easy smirk settles on your face. 

" Maybe you should open your eyes, I'm actually imagining all the different ways I can exorcise you. " 

Your expression is smug, though you feel anything but, internally panicking. 

You'll have to fight your way out of this, even if you're not sure you can win. 

You're not dying today. You will make it out alive. 

You unclasp the water skins resting on both of your hips, your hands moving fluidly as they guide the water into a make shift weapon. Today, you choose for it's vast, sharp nature, speeding the water's movements as you form two ring blades- two huge circles who act as an extension of your arm. The water they exist of is whirring at an incredible speed, making them exceptionally sharp. Right now, you're not aiming to fight the spirit. It doesn't seem all too afraid of close up combat, but you hope you can draw it back far enough towards the bridge that connects this village to the city over a river. If you can do that, you'll stand a chance. You could escape, or better yet, win. 

Your eyes narrow into a serious expression as you charge at it. It's smug, it's counter powerful as it fights back. 

" This is also quite fun you know, I didn't expect we'd be getting all close and personal. " It grins. 

The spirit you're fighting might look humanoid, bit it's still got a weird purple skin colour. It's hair is blue, the colours clashing with one another. It's not pretty, in fact, it's very uncomfortable to look at. 

You scoff. 

" Don't get used to it. "

You don't bother to say more as you quicken your movements, your aim a little desperate, but definitely dangerous. It's starting to work. Your rapid attacks are sending the cursed spirit back, not wanting to be caught in one of your make shift blades.  Soon enough, it's drawing back, slowly getting closer and closer to the river. It raises it's arm, and you jump out of the way. A new, free path lies in front of you, and you take your chance.

To your horrific surprise, it seems to launch some sort of ball, vaguely reminding you of Gojo's sensei's technique. It doesn't just explode the building it hits, it turns into a small, black hole, sucking in a part of the falling bricks. You're running towards the river, however, just before you reach it, it jumps in the way. However, the river is now in your reach, and you seize the opportunity. Reaching out your hands, you command the water far below you, and it shoots out in a spike towards the cursed spirit. It moves out of the way just in time, and you take it's place instead, continuing to summon the water around you. It turns into a huge circle, spinning protectively around you. The weight of the water is heavy, but you can handle it, even if it does weigh down your movements.

However, as you're getting ready to launch the attack, the spirit laughs, sending another ball your way. You release all the water, letting it fall on the ground as you jump out the way. The ball hits the ground, and this one doesn't turn into a small black void. Instead, it releases a huge wave, sending you back. First, it makes you hit the railing of the bridge, your back hurting on the impact. Ouch. Lucks seems to be on your side, as you somehow manage to flip over the railing, now falling towards the river. A very rich power source. 

The spirit smirks, catching you of guard. It creates some kind of golden ring, and to your surprise, it teleports. It's under you within a second, and before you know it, you're falling in it. 

-

You groan as you wake up, squinting at the harsh sunlight. 

" Huh?.. " You're puzzled. 

Where are you? It takes you a few moments before you realize exactly where you are. As you turn to your left, the archway to Jujutsu Tech greets you. 

You're back here? How? 

Something is wrong. You were in a nearby village just now, not too far away. It was cloudy there. It was only a 10 minute drive from your school. How was it sunny here already? 

You rub your face, completely confused. You can swear that the air is different too. Something isn't right. However, a searing pain spreads through your body. Shit, your back. You forgot about that. You groan as it hits you. 

You turn to your water skins, only to see that you left it uncapped. The water must've fallen out as you fell. Damnit, you don't even have enough water to heal yourself. 

" Salmon roe? "

" Inumaki senpai! Holy shit am I glad to see you. " You groan, struggling to get up. 

He sends you a questioning look, stepping back when you reach for him. You return his look. 

" My back's killing me-"

" Pickled mustard leaf. " 

He's raising his hand at you as he speaks, a warning for you not to move. Your eyes widen in realization. He doesn't recognize you. He's asking how you know his name. 

Your mouth opens slightly. What was going on? You were relatively close with your upperclassmen. 

" You- what? - You're playing a game, right? You know who I am. C'mon, we've sparred so often. You trained me for the exchange event a few months ago-"

Inumaki shakes his hands at you, making you pause your words. The both of you blink at each other for a good minute. Him wondering who you are, and you wondering what was going on. 

" I'm your underclassman. You know me. I know you. You're Inumaki Toge. You can only speak in rice ball ingredients because of your cursed speech technique- your favorite rice ball ingredient is Tuna mayo. I know because I asked months ago when we got to know each other. Also I accidentally hit you in the head with a baseball during our baseball game against the Kyoto school.- I'm Kamo Y/N. Your favorite underclassman (you're probably not, but that doesn't matter), Ryomen's best friend-"

He blinks in question again, as you blink in response. 

" Ryomen Sukuna? My best friend? He's like-"

" Sleep. "

Your eyes fall closed as you fall to the ground, completely unconscious. 

[jupiter-letters]

Dating Clark Kent would include:

Fem!Reader or GN!Reader TW: None

A/N: Felt like writing for clark lately, I'm down horrifically for this man. This can be for any incarnation of Superman but I based it off the comics and my adventures with superman

It all started with a random encounter at the library while he was researching an old historical site in Metropolis(aka busy work for the new guy). He saw you with a couple of books in your hand, eyes browsing the shelves. 

He worked up the nerve to start a conversation with you and actually managed to get your number. He left the library with butterflies in his stomach and an angry call from Perry asking his whereabouts. 

A good starter date for him was obviously coffee. He spends hours deciding where to meet up with you, trying to find reasonably priced coffee with a good atmosphere. He tries to come up with a bunch of different outfit combinations, making the attempt to look nice but not too dressed up. This proved difficult since his wardrobe is 90% dress shirts and slacks, he’s still gotta look casual. Clark is such an overthinker, he just wants things to go well ; v; 

Of course the date goes well cause he’s so perfectly himself and he charms you so naturally. He’s surprised when you ask to see him again, the whole time he was sweating bullets praying you didn’t notice. After that the second, third, and fourth date all are perfect. Well not perfect but the time spent together makes up for the hiccups. 

Now let’s get into the nitty-gritty: early days of dating Clark still tries to be perfect, he hasn’t become totally comfortable with you, yet ;)  I think for him he wants to wow his partner in the early stages, he feels like trying to get a city slicker like you he has to bring his A-game. 

When he sees you he tries to bring you little trinkets and flowers, he likes to spoil you every now and again. 

Touching! He likes to be touching you when you’re near, a hand on your waist, brushing his pinky against your hand, pressing his knee next to yours when you’re sitting together. His love language is acts of service, words of affirmation and physical touch. He loves doing things for the people close to him. This includes: Taking out your trash, watering your plants, making your bed, putting a pot of coffee on in the morning, and fixing any holes in your clothes. 

Now when you're really in it with him he tells you about the Superman stuff, he feels like he can trust you but there’s still the risk of you knowing that’ll get you hurt. He doesn’t underestimate your autonomy but there are very powerful forces out there that want him gone, and you are very precious to him. 

Once you can convince him that you are willing to accept the risks and tell him how much you care about him, the last of the walls come down. You’re stuck with him forever now and he wouldn’t have it any other way. 

When it’s a quiet summer afternoon he’ll take you flying just before sunset, he’ll go right above the clouds so you can see what he gets to see. However if you’re afraid of heights he won’t force you lol. He’ll make sure you’re properly dressed when he takes you to visit the fortress of solitude(He tries is the key phrase). You always underestimate how cold it’ll be and he has to go all the way back to metropolis to get your favorite jacket while you sit by a heater.

 Looking after him when he gets kryptonite poisoning from fighting bitch ass Lex Luthor, seeing him sweat for the first time with dark circles under his eyes. It’s more painful than what he’s feeling at that moment, and he still tries to tell you it’s not that bad. Once he’s feeling better he has to talk you down from murdering Luthor.

“Honey don’t-” “Nuh-uh call Bruce, I want a bazooka.” “You don’t need a bazooka sweetheart, I'm fine.” “No way I’m coming for his bald ass.” “Baby I’m fine, please calm down.”

Of course you’re not serious but you still want to protect him. Nobody messes with Clark and gets away with it. You and his friends will see to that, yes sir!

Thanks for reading! Lemme know what you think. Please like or reblog if you like my stuff.

[bean-bean2000]

The Maid - Part 1

Pairing: Loki x reader (on going series)

Warnings: Angst, abuse, mental health (depression, mentions of suicidal thoughts). Eventual loki x reader pairing.

Please read at your own risk. Your own media consumption is not my responsibility. Please read and review the warnings before proceeding.

Thank you and enjoy!

Part 2 Series masterlist Main Masterlist

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You stare up at the ceiling as you lay in bed next to the man who calls himself 'your saviour'. Every time he stirs in his sleep, you gasp and wince in fear of waking him. He is far better asleep than he will ever be awake.

Three years ago, you fell into the arms of a man you thought would help you. You were alone, homeless and desperate. Your parents had died in a house fire, which left you with nothing and no one. Naive, you trusted the first person that showed you an ounce of kindness. You had fallen intro a trap, one you thought was love, but was in fact a cage. Your parents had left you with a significant debt to repay to the crown. He forced you to work for him, do whatever he wants, in exchange for money to help pay off the debt. You have been stuck in this horrific home since, unable to do anything without consequence.

You haven't had a proper night's sleep in years. Your eyes are sunken with deep dark circles beneath. You hardly eat anymore.

You stopped feeling anything at all, years ago. All you feel is numb, like a zombie, a shell of your former self. A life that is so far away, the memories have long faded.

You're so lost in thought, gazing into nothingness when you're suddenly yanked out of the bed.

"Get up. You're leaving. I finally found a use for you." he spits at you.

You don't have enough energy to question him as you get up sluggishly and head to the bathroom to change.

As soon as you exit the bathroom, he is dragging you outside where a a dozen soldiers await; people are lined up in front of them.

"Here. Take her." he says to the guard as he shoves you towards him.

The soldier looks you up and down and nods. You're swept away by other men and hoisted onto the back of a carriage. Other men and women peer up at you in fear.

It doesn't take long for you to realize what has happened. You've been sold to the crown to be a worker. You stare at the floor and zone out, wondering if you will forever be forced to be at the mercy of others that are powerful and wealthy. As the carriage takes off, you feel nothing, you hear nothing, all you see is your so-called 'home' slowly fade behind the trees.

The others have fallen asleep as you stare out the carriage. You have no idea how long it has been but the sun has long set and it is deep into the evening when you arrive at the castle. The guards shuffle you out, line you up and assign you your duties.

"You." The woman points at you. "She will do." she says as she hands you a pile of clothes. You stare up at her as she clarifies your new job: maid.

The guards lead each group of workers to their designated quarters.

"You are maids. You will follow the schedule, with no excuses. You have been sold to serve for the crown. You will receive no pay. Your pay is the right to live in the castle. You will be provided food and shelter. Any act of disobedience will be punishable by any means appropriate that is decided upon the guards or anyone of higher status. You are to speak to no one. Do your job and stay quiet." The guard finishes explaining your new life then turns around and shuts the doors closed behind him with a loud bang.

The silence is deafening. Everyone too scared to say a word. They all choose a makeshift bed on the floor and prepare to get some sleep before the new day.

You sit in your cot and stare at the floor. You don't realize how much time had passed until the sun shining on your face and the guards are yelling at you all to wake up and start the day.

Will I ever know freedom? Will I ever find happiness? Or am I forced to succumb to this measely life until I die?

The first two weeks seem to pass without problems, until the guards decide to take it upon themselves to 'discipline' as they deem fit.

Most guards resort to name-calling, degradation or sometimes physical punishment. Nothing, nobody was as terrible as one who we called "Snake". He would slither his way into the chambers and choose his prey for the week, sometimes longer. He did as he pleased, if met with opposition, he would often beat them into submission.

You managed to avoid him as long as possible until one night, his large finger points towards you.

You stare at him, expressionless. You refuse to give him the pleasure of seeing your pain, your fear or your desperation. His eyes turn cloudy with anger as he watches you approach him, emotionless.

The others look at you with fear and pity as he drags you out of the maid's quarters towards his room.

He throws you on the floor and closes the door behind him.

"You think I don't know your little game, you harlot?" he sneers at you as he picks you up and slaps you so hard you fall to the floor, your cheek pulsating in pain.

He grabs your cheeks tightly with one hand and squeezes "You will fear me. You will obey me." he threatens you.

Once again, you stare at him blankly. You feel nothing, you haven't for a long time now.

He growls in frustration and punches you again, searching for any reaction; tears, a grunt, a whimper, anything, and yet you show nothing.

"You witch. Impossible. Everybody fears me." he yells at you as he strikes you again. You lay on the floor motionless, your nose and mouth bleeding.

"You will answer me when I speak to you!" he growls in anger as he strikes you again.

You stare up at him and remain silent.

"Are you deaf? mute? Useless! Maybe, you will be useful for other things instead...." he sneers at you as he smirks disgustingly with a knowing look.

Again, you stare at him blankly again. As he begins unbuckling his belt he says "Submit to me. You will do as I say, maid."

You start laughing which makes him look up at you in rage.

"You dare laugh at me?! You filthy servant!" he grabs you by the neck and holds you down tightly, slightly cutting off your airways but enough for you to remain awake.

"Submit to me!" he yells at you.

"Never." you croak.

He screams in a fit of rage and strikes you again. You continue to laugh.

"Witchcraft! You're a disgusting witch! Submit to me or I will have you burned at the stake!" he spits at you.

"I promise you, I will bite your dick off if it comes near me. The human jaw can be so powerful, sometimes a crowbar isn't strong enough to pry it open and I promise you I will not let go until my jaw is pried open." you threaten him as you begin laughing hysterically.

He stares at you in confusion, disgust and fear.

"I knew it! You're a witch!" He screams.

"Are you sure you want to test that theory?" you laugh at him.

He yells in frustration as he strikes you again "I said submit to me!"

You stare him directly in the eyes "No matter how loud the wind howls, the mountain will not bow down to it."

His eyes turn red with rage, he picks you up and throws you across the room. He kicks you on your side.

He continues hitting you as he demands you submit to him. You repeat the same word, almost as a prayer "Never".

You didn't care if you died or how, but you promised yourself that no matter how desperate you would become, you would never submit yourself to another man again, no matter the cost.

Once he is finally done he spits on you, drags you back to the maid's chambers and throws on you the floor as he slams the door behind him.

A few women crowd you and help you to your cot. You're bleeding from your nose and mouth. Your eye is black and swollen shut, your lip is split, your ribs hurt when you breathe.

Even after all that, you realize you still feel nothing. You stare up at the ceiling as the other women surround you to help clean your wounds.

From that moment on, you have been the subject to the Snake's abuse. You have spoken no words, except for "Never" every time the Snake commands you to submit to him. You would rather take on every physical punishment, than let him touch an inch of you.

A few weeks pass with the same abuse, except now other guards have partaken in it as well. You are now referred to as "witch" by the guards. They sneer at you when you walk past them. You keep your head held high and walk straight forward, without giving them a glance.

I am my own person. I have my own thoughts. I am not a puppet.

You repeat these phrases everyday in your head, like a chant to keep you grounded. You've taught yourself to recite small facts about your life to yourself in your head, such as your birthday, your favourite colour, your favourite author and book. It reminds you of who you are, of who they can never take away from you.

🧹🧹🧹

As the months go by, the abuse never ceases. It periodically skips you, allowing your body time to heal before being targeted again.

You have managed to be friendly with the other maids, but still keep to yourself and limit your words. You rarely speak and only do so when absolutely necessary. You decided it was safest for you this way.

You have been generally assigned menial maid tasks, such as cleaning the chambers of the guards or other members of higher status than you, until today. You’re assigned to clean King Loki's quarters. He owns an entire wing to himself, therefore you are to do it alone as he is very particular about his items. It was decided upon the head maid that you were the least likely to steal and most likely to complete the job to Loki's very high standards.

Without much of a choice, you accept the new assignment and make your way to his wing. As grateful as you are for this opportunity, to work alone and use the specialized cleaning supplies for the king, you were also in so much pain. The previous night was the harshest in a long time. The guards told you the king wanted to send you a personal message. By the end of it, you could hardly move and had to be dragged to your cot. Laying in bed, you wondered why the king would choose you for this punishment. You had done nothing wrong, what made you deserving of such poor treatment?

As you're walking to the kings wing, every step you take is followed by a limp and a wince. Nevertheless, the work had to be completed. The consequences were too severe if the work were not to be completed to his prestigious standards. If the king was willing to send you such a message the previous night as a warning for what was to come, the current pain was worth suffering through. From what you've heard the kings punishments never ended well. Nobody ever returned.

With that in mind, you headed to his wing with a slight limp and a wince under your breathe with every step.

Two week pass by and you've been permanently assigned to clean the kings wing, as per his request. You hope it is because he is satisfied with your work, rather than this be some cruel plan.

Once the guards heard of your new permanent position as the kings personal maid, their visits became daily. You were now the only maid being succumbed to their harsh treatment. You knew they were trying to sabotage you so the king would be displeased with your work and be rid of you.

Even so, everyday you wake up and perform your duties. You persevered and refused to let them think they won, no matter how painful, you always kept your head held high.

You're walking to the kings wing, products and cleaning items in hand when a guard approaches and swings his arm at you. You fall to the floor, Cleaning products go flying across the hall, splattering on the floor, against the wall and all over you.

"Tsk tsk tsk... what a shame... you better pray the king doesn't see this mess you caused...." he laughs as he walks over you.

You say nothing as you try getting up but slip on the soapy wet floor. You curse at the mess.

He can't see this. I have to clean this up. I can't be delayed, the king accepts no excuses for punctuality. He will kick me out on the streets... or worse... have me killed.

You get up shakily, holding on the wall for as much support as possible. Your body aches as you start mopping up the mess with speed that can only be explained by pure fear.

Once it's decently done you run to the next room and start cleaning as fast as possible. The pain from the abuse inflicted upon you daily is taking its toll. You decide you have to suck it up until you're done.

You're doing your final task: The king's bedroom. With one wrist against your chest, you clean the bedroom. You're trying to make the bed but can't do it with one hand. Shakily, you move your other wrist and try grabbing the sheets. You hiss in pain and pull back. You're slowing down, taking longer to do simple tasks. Your wrist is swollen wrist and throbbing in pain from the fall earlier. You can hardly move it.

You manage to finish making the bed and is finishing off by dusting the room, keeping your wrist to your chest to stabilize it as much as possible. As you were working through your pain, you didn't notice the time until you hear somebody clear their throat behind you.

You gasp in surprise and spin around.

"King Loki... your highness... I apologize for my tardiness... I-" you start rambling, your head looking down and your legs in a curtsy.

"The hall is a mess. You're late. Your work is very subpar today. I'm disappointed." he tells you coldly while staring you down.

You say nothing as to avoid accidentally insulting him or frustrating him further.

"Consider this your first and last warning. If this happens again, you will heed the consequences." He says to you, chin up, staring at you while you keep your eyes on your shoes.

You mumble another apology when he dismisses you.

You quickly run out of his bedroom. Your heart is racing, you're shaking.

You run to the maid's quarters and go to your cot, avoiding the others. You're staring up at the ceiling, wondering how you possibly escaped his wrath. Replaying the scene in your head, you realize you never looked at him. You've never seen the king in person, only in pictures.

Luckily, tomorrow is the weekend the guards go out to the neighbouring city as a security check-up. You stare at your wrist, which is now purple, blue and swollen. You go to the bathroom and lock the door so you're alone. You remove your clothes as take in a sharp breath as pain courses through your body. You use two wooden sticks you found outside earlier, to stabilize your wrist, hoping it will speed the healing process. When you look up at your reflection you notice the deep colouring littering your body. Purple, blue, yellow, green.... bruises in various levels of healing spread across your body.

You come to the conclusion that you need help... medical help. You slip on a night gown and make your way to the clinic where Dr. Banner resides. He is the only doctor the workers of lower status trust, as he is kind, caring and genuine.

He welcomes you in his room and questions why you came to him so late at night.

You say nothing. You lift your night gown and watch as his eyes widen in understanding. He turns around and files through his medical cabinet.

"Here. Take one pill a day for 3 days. It will completely numb your pain and significantly increase the healing process. Put this healing balm over your bruises and on your wrist, every night for a week." he says to you as he hands you the medicine.

You open your mouth to thank him when he lifts his hand up "No need... please stay safe... if ever you need anything, you know where to find me." his eyes filled with pain and compassion.

You nod and turn around to walk back to your cot.

You immediately spread the balm over your body once your in the bathroom and wrap what you can in bandages to keep it from absorbing into the clothes rather than your skin.

Laying down in bed, the adrenaline from the day wears off and fatigue takes over until you fall into a deep sleep.

Part 2

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I hope you enjoyed this first chapter. Feedback is always welcome. Feel free to send me suggestions for scenes/drabbles that I could add into the stroy :)

Let me know if you would like to be added to the tag list!

[donniehere]

𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑾𝑶𝑹𝑳𝑫 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑺𝑯𝑶𝑾𝑬𝑫 𝑴𝑬

pairings: ot5!txt x reader

genre: soulmates au, angsty fluff.

warnings: none. <3

cw: 690.

In a world where the fate of love is already decided for you, the shame of being chosen to live alone for eternity is horrific. The hope of hiding the symptoms of loneliness was a dream of humanity, only to be cursed with color-blindness. Yet, the moment the world is colored again, you have met your saviour.

Being the joke of your surroundings, you isolated yourself from the world, not allowing anyone inside. And that was until, five boys have shown you the true meaning of colors.

Each boy has colored different shades, and slowly, you learned how to embrace the beauty of the world, and maybe, of yourself too.

CHOI YEONJUN [최연준]

Yeonjun taught you of colors that don’t exist. Your first thought was, if the colors weren’t real, how were you able to view them?

However, Yeonjun already knew the answer to your question. He elaborated, “Until the day you met the five us, you believed people like us do not exist, therefore we have shown in the most unexpected ways and times. Same goes to the colors.”

The same day Yeonjun’s eye color was finally displayed before you, a new sign of hope was visible in yours.

CHOI SOOBIN [최수빈]

Soobin showed you the benefits and disadvantages of nature. It is natural to fear nature, but soon, you’ll fall in love with it.

You’ll admire its beauty, crave to see it. You’ll enjoy the ocean breeze, the warm sun during summer and the smell of rain.

However, do not forget, nature can be terrifying at times. You’ll meet trees who fall, waves that break, thunders that shock and snakes who betray.

One step at a time, and you’ll get natural.

“Do not be afraid, I promise, we’ll be there to cover you when a storm arrives.”

CHOI BEOMGYU [최범규]

Beomgyu showed you the beauty of others. Your entire life, you were in search after an embracing person, losing and gaining hope, until you fell into a pair of unexpected arms.

He taught you the meaning of outer and inner circles, the meaning of personalities and love. Find the people who share your pain, not those who pretend to care.

Through Beomgyu, you have understood that people can be different, for that, we are called humans. Without the differences, this world will be colorless for anyone.

“The differences between us is what makes us unite. Like magnets, if you understand what I mean. Our atoms are the opposite, mine is positive, yours is negative, thanks to that, we lean in easily, and never tear apart.”

KANG TAEHYUN [강태현]

Taehyun showed you the colors of yourself. You have a taste of every paint. Your hair is [h/c], and your eyes shine bright color of [e/c]. You wear different colors everyday, and you act a different shade.

A set of colors always mix into one, and that specific color is the one that represents you. When people look at you, they instantly come up with that color, and by that judge you. People might have opinions of their own, and not like your color, but aslong as you favorite that shade, you’re better off.

“If you love colors that much, you must admire yourself too, as you are the most beautiful color I’ve ever seen.”

HUENINGKAI [휴닝카이]

Kai taught you the colors of emotions. There is a variety of emotions, they are uncontrollable. You cannot decide what you’re feeling.

You’ll feel happiness when you think positively, or whenever you win a video game.

You’ll feel betrayed when somebody breaks your heart, or when your favorite character dies.

You’ll feel loved when you are with the five of them, or when elders direct a sweet smile at you during the day.

And there is always one emotion, that will run with you along the path. Sadness is an indescribable feeling. It has it advantages and disadvantages.

Sadness mustn’t always embrace us, because we’ll fall down it's devilish trap. However, when you are feeling lonely, and tears stream down your face,

remember, tears are colorful too.

“Whether you cry tears of gold or blue, remember that every color has a meaning, and nothing happens for no reason.”

[anpanman95]

God DO I have things to say about this one here…

CONTROVERSIAL REVIEW AHEAD

Last Twilight: why Day’s character is a major RED FLAG 🚩🚩🚩

DISCLAIMER: I do not have anything against him as an actor. He’s a beautiful sweet talented cutie pie that is doing such an amazing job it causes me to hate the motherfluffing guts of this character.

To make this easier I’ve broken down this to five points.

Day’s personality sucks: first of all, he is a rich, spoiled child (I hope all of us agree on this one) who’s clearly full of himself, and only cares about himself. This is demonstrated in several ways, but the most blatant one is in how he believes that his tragedy is the worst possible scenario anyone could be in, and fails to have a single ounce of empathy for anyone around him unless, of course, it has to do something with him. Yes. What happened to him was horrific, and traumatizing, but he is not the only human being in the world who has problems. Which brings me to my next point.

Having a disability does not give you the right to be an asshole. “Oh but every person deals with their own stuff differently” Honey, no. The whole point is that having a disability does not make you any less than any other human being. Question: Doesn’t Day want for people to stop feeling pity for him? to not treat him differently?. Well guess what darling: that implies you also still have to be and function like a decent person. Yes, again, I’m very sorry about what he has to go through, which is a horrible and unexpected experience, and I could never imagine what that’s like, but literally no one in his life wished this upon him. He acts as if everyone around him is to be blamed for what happened.

Spoiled part 2: He has a roof over his head. A fancy one might I add. He lives comfortably. He has healthy, unlimited food, done by a professional chef, might I add AGAIN, and he does not appreciate his family and what they do for him, not even once. Does he not understand that his life could be much, much worse? I’m not saying he can’t be angry or depressed or deal with his trauma however he needs to be able to heal, but there’s a difference that he doesn’t seem to understand: being angry at a situation that is out of anyone’s control, and being angry or directing that anger to people who just want to help. Which brings me to my last two points:

Day’s crappy behavior towards his family: Lets start with the mother. She is, of course somewhat at fault for what Day has to go through. But only because she is being unreasonably overprotective, something that could have been solved anyway without Day being an absolute prick about it. (Also pick one of your children to give all your love and attention to and abandon the other? what is wrong with you). Now to his brother Night. Oh God. I don’t think you understand how angry I was when Day said “I forgive you for everything”. Bitch what the f? Forgive Night? for treating him like absolute garbage, as if he had never been your own brother? Like he planned the whole fiasco? He gets mad after the accident because his brother TRIES TO CHANGE for the BETTER. And accuses him from TRYING TO STEAL THE GOOD SON TITLE FROM HIM??! Be for real bitch. This circles back to point one: He only cares about himself. Night has been traumatized almost as much as Day because of the accident. It is obvious he blames himself and probably will never forgive himself fully for what happened. On top of that he gets an awful mother and brother? Nah. Count me out. I would have resigned from that family and go live with beautiful sweet Porjai to a small village and never be contacted by those people again.

Mhok: Oh dear. Oh dear. He is literally the greenest of green flags out there. Sure. He’s a little volatile. Sure, he has done violent things. But he would have NEVER hurt Day or any of their friends/family. My boy was just trying to do his job, cause, mind you, HE HAS NO MONEY OR FAMILY TO SUPPORT HIM LIKE YOU DO, DAY. The money and family you disrespect every single day. And what the f with telling him what to do with his life? Who the f do you think you are? Mr. Righteous? Mr. Perfect? More like Mr. Red Flag 101. Day basically broke Mhok’s heart because Mhok didn’t want to be away from him. So, first of all, I don’t believe for a second Mhok’s intentions were out of pity. Maybe they came from a place of WORRY and a little bit out of infatuation because he liked him so much and didn’t want to be away from him. But never pity. EVEN SO. IF Mhok felt “pity” for Day, the correct thing to do, as two fluffing functioning adults, is to TALK. Why did you have to go and tell him all this horrible things just so he’d leave? Why not tell him you’re proud of him, and ENCOURAGE HIM to take the job, ENSURE that it’ll work out between you? But nooooo, Mr. Red Flag had to go and break his heart cause he lacks basic decency and human empathy, only for Mhok, bless his heart, to come back after three years AND FOR SOME REASON, still manage to be in love with this awful person. And he tells him no? Break his heart all over again only for Mhok to have enough emotional intelligence for the both of them to actually come back after YOU GAVE UP ON SEARCHING FOR HIM AT THE AIRPORT LIKE A WEAK MEDIOCRE BI— ugh. If I were Mhok I’d gone and kicked his sorry ass and married a handsome Hawaiian.

Okay.

Also Day only coming to his senses after his mother tells him THE MOST OBVIOUS THING THERE IS.

“Oh Mother what was that? Loving means taking risks? It’s all about trust? and communication? Oh my, that would have never crossed my mind because I am such an idiot. Thank you mom I’ll go look for the love of my life now because you told me so”

like seriously what is up with these boys and their mommy issues? I swear the exact same thing happened in Hidden Agenda. Bro.

I love P’Aof, and his work. Loved Bad Buddy, loved Moonlight Chicken. I had super high expectations of this and, overall, the show is good. But I simply did not enjoy it as much as I thought I would, and it’s all because I couldn’t sympathize with one of the main characters.

In conclusion:

Fluff you Day, you do not deserve Mhok. sorry p’Aof I love you and will continue to support you until the very end.

oof. I needed to rant this out. don’t yell at me please I cry easily.

peace out!

[crossdressingdeath]

Y'know? I suspect less players would side with the Templars if Bioware didn't hold back the true horror of the Right of Annulment when the player chooses to take part in it. Like... the Templars murder everyone in the Circle down to the youngest child. That's how Annulments work. But as far as I'm aware when the Warden or Hawke sides with the Templars in those "Do you want to help murder all these innocents for the crime of existing in this place that the people wanting to murder them locked them into, or do you want to Not Do That" quests you only face adult mages, abominations, and demons. I get that having to murder children would be... a lot to put in even an M-rated game, I'm not going to pretend I can't see why they didn't do it even before the "Actually the Templars are great and the mages need to stop whining about being imprisoned, tortured, raped, and murdered for being born" retcons in DAI, but can you imagine the impact? You wanted to do it, even in the face of your companions telling you not to. Maybe a couple companions even encouraged you to do it, although in DAO at least I don't think many of them do. But you made this choice; when the Templars asked you to help murder everyone in the Circle, you said yes. Now you have to face the fact that when they said everyone they meant everyone, from the oldest Senior Enchanter to the youngest apprentice. Hey, you thought this was the right call! You thought the whole population of the Circle should be put down based on the actions of people barely connected to them if at all! So now put these screaming children to the sword as they beg you to stop because that's what the Templars told you to do. That's what you wanted, right?

Even showing the bodies of the young apprentices of the Circle would've been an excellent gut punch if the player chose to help the Templars; you could explain that as the Templars thinking maybe the people assisting them would change their minds if they had to murder children while still giving the player a glimpse of what an evil thing they're willingly taking part in. Much like how if you choose to abandon Redcliffe to its fate in DAO you then have to fight your way through the wreckage to get to the castle, I feel like the real fallout of the Annulment, which for the first two games is treated as an evil act (even when treating Anders like a monster Meredith moving to kill the population of the Circle using his actions as an excuse is treated like a horrific thing to do), would be so much more effective if the players actually had the full horror of it shoved in their faces as a punishment for choosing to take part.

[witchlingcirce]

People who criticize the circle fail to understand that it was literally a cult! A cult! To form a cult, you need a very charismatic leader, people who are kinda lost or insecure, and for the leader to perform some sort of “miracle.” Every box checks out. Valentine targeted each member: people who had all had difficult upbringings or suffered a lot of loss.

Luke was a weak student and insecure AND his mom literally left him and amatis to become an iron sister

Celine was heavily abused by her parents (they would literally put her in the basement or she would run away from home)

Robert had an abusive dad with too much shadowhunter pride and couldn’t bear marks, making him feel like a disappointment

Stephen’s mom was Imogen and she was probably a crazy helicopter parent

and etc etc with each member

In Jocelyn’s case, I don’t think she had any crazy trauma and we know she wasn’t drawn to Valentine until his parents died. I think she fell for the I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can) phenomenon and I’m sure Valentine was pretty great to her at first. He’s an intelligent sociopath (probably from his own extreme childhood trauma) and knew what to do to make her fall in love with him, the way he did with everyone else. You can’t blame a teenage girl for falling for that act. Her staying with him definitely came from fear. Valentine is a dangerous guy and she knew that- why else would she continue sleeping with him even after he clearly poisoned their first born? There was a lot of fear there and I don’t think you could blame her at all. She was stuck in an abusive relationship.

I think that’s the case for everyone else in the circle i.e. they were stuck in this abusive relationship that they were too afraid to leave because they knew how scary Valentine could be, the horrific things he could do. Sometimes when you’re stuck in an abusive bubble, you don’t really realize how bad things are but it’s also hard to take a step back to see the bigger picture. That’s why the surviving members of the circle in NY hated Valentine.

And to add to Celine’s defense, she was definitely selfish at times, I agree. However, when you grow up in such uncertainty and lack of love, I think it drives some people to kinda do anything to get that, even if it means ending a marriage. She was finally getting everything that she never had before the circle and I think she couldn’t hold herself back. If she survived and raised Jace, I don’t think she would have been the best mother. She would probably be very immature BUT that speaks to the amount of abuse and lack of childhood she had. And you are so right: she never got a chance to escape that abuse!!! Also I just want to add: being 17, her prefrontal cortex was not fully developed and was probably stunted from the crazy stuff she went through at home

Also! I believe Cassie said that Stephen and Celine planned to name the baby Will :)

100% agree with you on the circle members. I think it’s interesting case for them because a lot of them definitely agreed with Valentine at some point, but than they had kids of there own and they grew up and they realised how crazy he actually was! But they were too scared to leave and stay for the post part.

Also I’m glad you agree about Céline! I agree that she wouldn’t have been the best mother to Jace (lack of support system, she’s like 19). But I do think she would have loved Jace so dearly!

And I’m glad you pointed out that 17 is still objectively a kid. While 18 is legally an adult, you’re still young have a lot to learn. I always hate how people act like when your still a teenager that you make the best decisions, especially as people who have been abused endlessly there entire lives.

Also omg, little baby Will that’s so cute!!

[paragonrobits]

there's been some real drama with that Youtuber I Hate and a youtuber whom i have come to greatly respect and honestly its been a delight seeing that youtuber i dont like going full circle on 'fuck around and find out' and apparently rapid-fire switching between constantly crying about being victimized and being a vicious and hateful person to apparently EVERYONE who interacts with her (follower or not) and it's a real case of a kind of internet personality i find exhausting but its made me realize a few things:

one is she apparently considers superhero comics an inherently Bad genre without artistic value (a bold statement coming from someone whose big media opinons are 'the entirety of Japan are man-children who do sex crimes' and 'i'm going to hate on these cartoons for not turning into a murder frenzy at the last second'). i'd say she's clearly never read Magneto's story arc under Claremont, or anything to do with the Morrison run on Doom Patrol (its artistic, demented, filled with coming to terms with horrific trauma, your own depersonalization, and also the primary antagonist is literal nonsense) or the famous story God Loves Man Kills but i ain't holding my breath

the second thing is that apparently she's under the belief that once you have been victimized, it excuses all your actions. This lines up with some common elements i've seen in fandom, especially those who fixate on villlains as the True Heroes, similar to some of my other thoughts on how people seem to tihnk a compelling/tragic origin justifies anything the character does. This is the mentality of completely divorcing a character's moral place in a narrative from their actions, and instead based on their victimhood. It really explains the whole idea i keep seeing there, and its something to address in my story concepts.

Third thing is more important, more profound. Its hard for me to articulate WHY people like this bother me so much; that they're so unrelentingly unpleasant, cruel to everyone around them, and even similar attitudes of people who are just casually rude. Even if there's no harm meant, you can just... not talk like that. You don't have to be mean with every single word you say, and you can resist the urge to turn every exchange or observation into an opportunity to sound like a smart ass; that's how you get stuff after James Earl Jones dies, you post pictures of Mufasa's death and then fail to understand why people are upset by you immediately making a joke about an inoffensive, much beloved voice actor who never did anything to you.

So i think about how to describe this... or perhaps how to AVOID this. How to talk and act in ways that's softer and doesn't hurt people for a quick joke or jibe, or acts like they can't understand why its wrong. And then I remember the game Undertale, where in the Pacifist route (the only route I've ever played), Sans will warmly tell a player who has actively refused to ever kill or hurt a single monster by saying that 'it just means you kept tenderness in your heart', and i think that's a good way to do it.

Just keep some tenderness in your heart. Let yourself be open and be gentle as much as you can. A thing that is tender ache when it hurts something or hits something pretty much at all, so its important to keep that tenderness so you DON'T hurt others too.

The world is sad and unpleasant enough as it is. You don't need to make things worse just so you can feel better about yourself.

[polyamorousmood]

Genuine question about poly (I've been thinking about whether it's something I'd want to try, with me being ace it's probably my best option for finding a partner-) how do you compromise when it comes to bigger life decisions? Unless you're in a triad or a bigger sort of "closed circle" polycule, and you compromise among each other (which also seems more difficult tbh), to me it seems like poly relationships are like a web that contains many many people because you're dating three people, they're dating a few other people, and so on. So either you have primary relationships where you prioritize each other and don't mind leaving the other ones behind (which seems a bit idk. I would not be the primary relationship because I won't have sex and ace men are very rare from the surveys I've seen. A lifetime of being in the periphery doesn't seem desireable to me.) Or you act as an individual agent and basically have to break up with everyone if you ever want to move which seems horrific and like a massive commitment. I guess you could do long distance but I don't see long distance working if your partner has other partners they can interact with normally..

I mean. There's no one answer here. You're making a lot of assumptions (which may be but are not always true) so let's break this down bit my bit. Buckle up 💺we got stuff to discuss

But if you want a TL;DR: How do you make that decision in a monog relationship if Partner A wants to leave but Partner B has family here? Well, there's a lot of discussion and someone has to compromise on something. How it shakes out will depend on the people and the specific situation.

"the poly web🕸️" While a polycule can spiral into something huge via the "everyone has three partners" principle, its also possible it stays pretty small. Not everyone in a polycule will want to date someone else, not everyone who wants to date someone else will be able to find someone else to date, etc etc. Small polycules are common in practice.

"aces ♠️won't be the 'primary partner'" I respect you hedging your expectations and understand the reasoning there, but the poly community is pretty open to weird relationship dynamics. You could be the "primary" and your partner could have a couple other relationships to get sexual needs met. You could join an ace polycule. Your partner could have you and one other person and see you both as equal.

"Moving💼 means taking or leaving everyone -- or prioritizing" I... I guess it could? But if you know you're wanting to move far away, you're probably discussing that quite a while in advance, and then only dating people who are okay with things being short term or moving with you. Or a lot of poly relationships are already long distance, so one person moving makes very little difference! There's a lot of options there, which leads to point 4

"Long distance✈️ can't work if your partner has local partners" LDRs in poly relationships are common. I honestly see it as easier because you can have your physical needs met by someone else

"A lifetime of being in the periphery🥈" you're never locked down. If you're not getting what you need from ANY relationship, I hope you're negotiating about it or leaving. If being poly only works for you if you're the primary, but your partner can fuck whoever, you wouldn't be the first. Even if you don't want to impose those rules, there are options, and your partner should be working to make you happy. It can be a hell of a learning curve sometimes, I admit, but you can find a weird way of being that works for everyone. Or you can leave! Or they could leave you for unrelated reasons! Or maybe they go to prison for embezzlement and that sort of ends the relationship for you! All sorts of shit could come up.

"this is a poly problem" Bestie. Do you know how many movies have been made on the premise of "my spouse got a job offer far away but I don't want to move"? This is something that could happen in any relationship. I'm not saying having other people involved wouldn't be a variable in the equation, but your relationship with your partner is no different from a monogamous one in this aspect. How that decision gets made is the same to me as how it would get made in a monog relationship where one person has family they don't want to leave. Maybe you do split up, maybe you try long distance, maybe partner A decides not to move, maybe partner B decides they're willing to move with them after all (and then subsequent partners make the same choice). And its not perfect in any of these options, in fact it probably really fucking sucks. But life is messy. This shit happens.

And like, you don't have to try polyamory. There are asexual people out there you could meet and love. There are allosexual people out there who would be willing to give that up to be with you. You could do an open relationship situation where your partner doesn't "date" anyone else, but can still sleep around. Or you can join an asexual polycule!

So how do major life choices get decided in a polycule? The same way major life decisions get made anywhere. Hopefully, everyone says their peace and gets to weigh in. Hopefully the life goals align. Failing that, hopefully there's a compromise that's acceptable to everyone, but maybe there isn't and it forces a break up (or 6). Maybe some break up but not everyone, like so:

Or some of the relationships turn into long distance or whatever. Man there's too many variables. Some people view things as hierarchical and some don't. Some people don't but functionally have only been dating one person for 4 months so they're easier to leave -- or know they cannot live with another person because they're too disorganized so going long distance is fine. You don't know until you're there. I'm losing the thread, but you know what I'm saying.

[desultory-novice]

Okay, back where we were left off at the Magoland Branch AU Magolor only had his sight partially restored, but in the crossover between the Apologies AU and the Magoland Branch AU his sight was fully restored. So how did that happen anyways?

Also, how long did it take between the conclusion of the Magoland Branch AU and the crossover between the Apologies AU and the Magoland Branch​ AU?

(Double question because I want lore.)

(Also, how long will it be till my other ask is done? I'm not rushing it or anything, (Take your time Dess! (^v^)​) I'm just curious about how long will it take.)

>How long did it take?

It took... X amount of time! XD ...I dunno! Noir SHOULD have been in hell since almost the beginning, since he was the first or second to die also his life has just been hell since the day his parents died....

Like Noir, who acted as "dead" as possible in the hopes of actually dying, the deceased probably stuck to their own personal purgatories and never really did much positive interacting, outside of people who formed odd connections all on their own, like Joronia and Max, who quickly bonded over their love of rich, fancy things. >w<

Max: "01001101 01110101 01110011 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01100011 01101111 01100110 01100110 01100101 01100101 00100000 01101000 01100101 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100001 01101100 01110111 01100001 01111001 01110011 00100000 01100010 01100101 00100000 01100010 01110101 01110010 01101110 01110100 00111111"

Joronia: "Oooh, do not even get me started on tea in this place!"(1)

("How does Joronia know binary? Why, she's the smartest, strongest, most beautiful queen ever! Of course she knows binary!" - Taranza)

The paradigm changed when Marx found Magolor's tormented soul and convinced the Crown to give Magolor control of his body back. Magolor, trapped in a series of troubled and confusing hallucinations due to how horrific and constant the pain of having a large, wrathful tree feeding off of and growing inside him was, blindly used the crown's limitless power to create an actual theme park.

"Timeline-wise" I'd say once Elfilin and Adeleine started interacting more, Fecty probably said some off-handed remark to "the human girl" (ie: "...your eyes are the exact same color as that boy in hell...") that clued X-over Adeleine into the location/existence of her X-over brother and they had a big, tearful reunion and here we are!

(1) PS: "Hell" here is not full of demons and pitchforks, but it is uncomfortably *bright* (the sun is ever-burning and the sky goes through a cycle of golden hour-orange to fever-dream dark with shades of electric pink at night) and also, there is a larger than average amount of fire. A whole lake made of it, in fact!

>Why does Magolor have both eyes?

That was an accident on my part because I drew him from memory for the first Apologies x-over, forgetting he’s only supposed to have one eye due to still being half rooted to the crown.

I kept up with it after because, eh~ the souls are supposed to be healing slowly after "A Perfect Circle," so maybe his other eye came back on its own to show he’s reclaiming more of himself...?

(Kind wish I hadn’t made that mistake though because I was weirdly attached to one-eyed Mago Soul’s design. But he can’t just go and lose it again now for no reason. ^^)

Speaking of the first crossover and “continuity errors,” Noir wore his scarf more like an actual scarf in that one to dress in the style of the Hell branch (aka, a mix of alive and dead) but he is back to looking like regular Swordsman in “Again.” That was because I purposefully wanted the first image to fool people as to where/when this was happening, and also make it work as a legitimate visual introduction to the script portion of “Again.” Which it does, btw. That first page fairly accurately fits Noir’s experiences in DL3. ^^

I know it's shallow reasoning, but let's just go with it! If I ever return to the x-over plotline, I’ll try to indicate that properly by giving him the wrapped scarf again. ...While I’m being grilled on Hell-Branch Lore, I’m debating whether Max and Joronia are still around. I’m tempted to say “yes” and they are just healed like Magolor. (Mostly because I don’t have that many characters to work with and I think Max would be ALL IN on the “Hell is a Business Hotspot” storyline(?) we’re in.)

[akuma-tenshi]

so this is a big, long rant about sexism in the idv community bc it's been on my mind lately and i need to put it out there. this is what i've observed after almost four years in the fandom and been stewing on for a long-ass time. if you don't feel like reading an essay on how annoyed some random enby on the internet is, then don't click the read more and just keep scrolling. don't interact with this post if all you're gonna do is get mad; i'm not here to piss anyone off, just make observations. and if this isn't your experience, good for you and please direct me to whatever circles you run in because i need to be there.

so, i've noticed that the idv fandom is extremely shit when it comes to how they treat female characters, and nobody really.. talks about it?? the only person i've ever seen actually discuss it used it as a way to drum up sympathy for ada. which, if you know me, you know really fucking pisses me off. because there are SO MANY OTHER EXAMPLES of sexism in this community, but no, clearly because we have sympathy for a male victim of abuse we're being sexist towards his abuser.

the thing is. there is so much to point to when you talk about how the fandom is sexist. it's very common to see female characters boiled down to just a couple traits. mary?? hot mommy step on me. michiko?? soft and gentle and demure (don't think i won't notice the weird shit about how that's a very common stereotype of asian women btw i see it). demi?? hot and drinks a lot. emma and lily are "uwu mentally ill babies". annie is soft. emily is either an irredeemable monster or a bitch, depending on who you're talking to. patricia is scary and mean. sangria's a girlboss, grace is soft and gentle, martha is spunky. and if you ask anyone their thoughts / ideas on these characters beyond those short descriptors you get nothing. i'm starting to fucking hate the word "girlboss" because it's all anyone says in response to like half these characters.

male characters are given alllllll the nuance in the world you can't talk to an aesop fan without them going into their endless headcanons / theories on why he's the way he is or how he's not actually that bad of a person or how cute he is or whatever. look at norton, or eli, or orpheus, or luca, or edgar, or joseph, or ithaqua, or any characters in that vein, and look at how the fandom treats them. look at the endless fanfictions and character studies and ships and x readers and headcanons. and then look at what female characters get. nowhere near that much.

i feel like margaretha and emily are the ones who suffer the most from this male-centric view by the fandom. they're characters who are inherently intricate, whose actions can't be explained away as entirely good or entirely bad. but that doesn't stop people from actively trying. they're going to act like margaretha wasn't being horrifically mistreated by her husband and just decided to burn down the circus for funsies or whatever. they're going to act like emily isn't trying so fucking hard to help emma and repent for what she's done. neither of them are meant to be read as black-and-white, but people will try because if they have to use more than two braincells on a female character they're going to implode.

meanwhile you get paragraph after paragraph about the intricacies of the argument between luca and alva. you get so many people analysing the relationship between norton and orpheus and how they're both kinda dicks but also both kinda have points. you get endless people defending joseph's actions bc his brother's dead and he's terrified of growing old / forgetting the people he loved / dying. you get so many fucking stories about how y'know, edgar's not that bad actually.

AND I'M NOT AGAINST ANALYSING THESE CHARACTERS!!! idv, especially in recent years, has been doing some great things with character writing. like, fuck 'em, they've got their issues, but they're still really good with some stuff and deserve credit. but don't act like it's not obvious how so many people have overlooked women (and poc, don't think i've noticed people ignoring the intricacies behind william and ganji as characters as well in favour of "himbo" and "bastard who cares", but i'm white so that's not exactly my place to talk) in favour of their favourite skinny whiteboy of the week.

they're that way with older-looking characters, too. if an idv guy has facial hair, you bet your ass he's also getting boiled down to his base traits. jose's an alcoholic, kevin is self-sacrificing and likes women, kurt is a little guy, kreacher is Awful, charles basically doesn't fucking exist anymore. but again not the focus of the talk atm.

it's just. so upsetting. esp. since most of my favourite idv characters are women but everyone i talk to about them is like "oh yeah demi's hot" or "aww annie's such a nervous little baby" or "god patricia's such a cool girlboss". and even when the shit they say is positive in a vacuum it still makes me so upset bc THAT'S NOT ALL THEY ARE!! demi is kind and loving and hardworking in the face of a world that only ever hurt her. annie's life has been an endless stream of pain and heartbreak and the only thing she really wants is freedom. patricia is literally cursed and is trying to find her place in the world.

also. i fucking hate ada but she falls victim to this too. as much as i despise the "you dislike her just bc you're sexist" thing and as horribly uncomfortable as she makes me, don't act like you haven't seen how her entire character is boiled down to how much she "loves" this man. don't act like you haven't seen how her entire character, all of her promise and potential, is forgotten in favour of that fucking trainwreck of a relationship. i bet half the fandom can't tell me anything about her other than her relationship with emil. emil suffers from this too, with his backstory and personality and life of abuse becoming an afterthought, but again, not what we're focusing on.

this is not an isolated thing or confined solely to the idv fandom. this happens in fandoms everywhere. but because idv is so close to my heart i feel like i really need to talk about it. there's so little content of female characters when there's fucking daily content of male ones. and don't get me wrong, i do like male characters. norton is literally one of my favourite fictional characters and i love talking about / analysing him. but i can guarantee a lot of people wouldn't be so interested in him if he was a woman.

sorry, just needed to get that off my chest. mandatory "this doesn't apply to everyone in the fandom" and "if this doesn't apply to you then i'm not fucking talking about you". we were so against the ashley wood collaboration bc of how much he sexualised michiko (and women in general) but like. do y'all really care that much?? bc i really don't think you do.

[lavendermeron]

·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙

TW: SFW, not proofread, english is not my first language so mayhaps some wordings might sound strange, GN!Reader.

also my first x reader writing, yay!

Word count: 1k216 words

·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙

Dating Wanderer would be an...interesting process.

You would need to have the will and determination, patience akin to that of a saint to deal with the sturdily constructed walls of the traumatized puppet. To weave through each and every words of bitterness that tastes just as bitter as the tea he enjoys so much and truly understand what lies beneath his carefully crafted synthetic skin.

After all, hundreds of years wandering throughout Teyvat and honing the experiences that can be summed into multiple lifetimes, be it violence or other unpleasant things, one would expect that Scaramouche would not be so open to finding new connections in fear of stepping onto old roads or stumbling down into the endless pits of self-hatred which roots from his own naiveté in days of the old; To think that he would be able to live out his life like any other human (which he soon had discovered to not be the case), it would be an underestimation to say that with each and every enjoyment he'd find, the world seems to be keen on throwing things back at him experiences that are worst, twice-fold;

However, if you do manage to worm your way through the narrow cracks of his non-existent heart, one that was broken and mended multiple times over, you wouldn't be immedietly treated with special care or anything as such, atleast not right away. What you would find is not a changed man or anything of that kind. All in all he would remain relatively the same, the sharp-tongued vagrant with a sense of eccentricity.

Wanderer is not a typical lover, it would be a slow process for him to take you into his circle of people who he could spare a glance to care about (which wasn't even alot in the first place). He wouldn't shower you in affections either physical or verbal even if you officially declares your relationship to one another, atleast, not directly.

It would start out with small gestures, the way he'd stand from afar, seemingly paying mind to other things not associated with you, but if you do pay notice, you'd see how he is always lending an extra ears or eyes to look out for you, helping you when you least expects it; He'd be more careful with his wordings around you, so that his already thornful words are but mildly- spiked vines, meant to hide his true intentions whenever he speaks to you, sometimes he'd slip in a teasing comment or two if you pay close attention?

Someone is making you uncomfortable? Oh, suddenly there's a blade of wind passing by which conveniently hits the person in the face and sending them flying through the room, out of your way. Need help with an assignment from the Akademia? He'd pretend to not care about whatever you were working on while also sneakily slipping in hints and clues in between complaints and non-malicious insults over how you are unable to solve such an easy problem before leaving without a word, leaving you confused.

As your relationship progresses, he would be more open to the more typical acts lovers would do while dating. Of course, at first he'd be quite reluctant towards affections that would requires touch due to his own past (that is the violation of his body through the horrific experiments conducted by that madman of a doctor who he will not want to recall the name of lest his unpleasant memories comes flooding back and ruining his mood) and he's not keen on having his relationship displayed to the public, out of concern for your safety, as there will be people who are after him which might try to hurt you.

Sometimes, he'd subtly link his pinky with yours whenever he deems fit, taking your hand and holding it tight if you need to go through a crowd of people in fear of losing track of you (but of course he won't say that out loud to save his already fragile hubris).

There would be more tender moments in your relationship, as his gentler sides shows up whenever you two are alone together. How he'd rest his head on your soft lap and close his eyes as you two rests under the shades, on a sunny day somewhere within the forests of Sumeru, he'd let his walls crumble for just a moment. Your hands running through his beautiful indigo hair while you both enjoy the comfortable silence, no words needs to be exchanged as the mere presence of you is able to bring peace to his phantom heart. Do not tease him on how "cute" he looks or anything as such when his mind drifts off and a smile creeps up on the corners of his lips, or you would taste the feeling of having his hat shoved into you face to shield your vision from his reddened cheeks and grumbling to himself as he storms away.

Wanderer is...not a typical lover, yet he is still prone to the problems one might face in his pursuit of a connection with you.

Due to the multiple times he has formed a bond (be it platonic or familial) and had it cruelly ripped from his grasp. It would only be natural for the abandoned puppet to cling onto you strongly once you have managed to penetrate his defenses, there would be times when he becomes unreasonably envious when you spend a bit too much time away from him or if you pay too much of your attention to someone else; You'd be able to tell whenever he is so by the way he gets a bit needier, how his eyes would stay lock onto your form or a look of displeasure at whatever is keeping your gaze away from him.

And of course, it would be your job as his beloved to reassure that you would be there for him for as long as your relationship remains intact, or until the day that death severs your intertwined fates by the concept of mortality if you are a human.

Hold him within your arms and cherish him, whisper sweet but genuine words to his mechanical ears, let him know that even if this world is cruel, even if it is full of uncertainties, that you'd never leave his side. Wipe away his tears should it falls against his will at his most vulnerable times, when he laments over his past that haunts him every night and the sins that weighs heavy over his shoulders.

To date Wanderer is to mutually be there for him as he does for you, to look out for him even if his words comes out as rough or harsh at the surface level and...

if you do find your way through all those difficulties as expected from this strange bond. It wouldn't be a lie to say that you will have his utmost loyalty and devotion until the day his divine shell that was made to host the heart of eternity gives away to erosion.

·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙

[counsellorerestor]

For the headcanon meme: 📖 👻 🥀 🏭 🏛️

[ 📖 ] does your muse keep a diary or journal? what do they, or would they, write in a journal?

Yes and no. Erestor keeps a leatherbound journal on the desk in his office. It is, essentially, the equivalent of a modern bullet-journal; it is a planner with his tasks and appointments for each week and day, and sometimes he makes notes on how something went.

The only thing it would tell you about him is what he is doing and whether it went well.

Erestor is not someone to write his personal thoughts and feelings down. He is often introspective, and will take some time to sit and mentally work through things and process what he's thinking and feeling. But he keeps that to himself and, to some extent, his inner circle of friends.

[ 👻 ] what decisions have your muse made that they regret?

If asked today, Erestor would shrug and say he cannot regret the paths he took because they led him here, to a place where he is happy and content.

If probed deeper, Erestor would say he deeply regrets the Second Kinslaying most of all. The First Kinslaying was a horrific, tragic incident, but he was young and swept along and he believed, at the time, that he was doing the right thing. He regrets it, of course; what Noldo does not? He also regrets leaving his family behind.

At Doriath, however, he ought to have known better. He thinks they all ought to have known better.

He did argue against it, but it was hard to sway the sons of Fëanor when the Silmarils were involved. Ultimately, despite his misgivings, Erestor accompanied his lords out of loyalty. He fought in self-defence, but people still died.

He regrets not being able to sway them, and he regrets going.

[ 🥀 ] what are your muse’s standards for a romantic partner? are they realistic? why do they have these standards?

I knew you would ask this. :P

Erestor says he has high standards, but really it's no different from most other people; he just rarely gets quite that close to people. He must find them attractive, of course, but that does not necessarily mean conventionally attractive; if he likes you, your face is dear to him. He had a lover in Himring who was scarred, but Erestor liked him and found him attractive. (That Elf died in the Nirnaeth.)

He does like sex, so they must be compatible in bed.

The good values and principles likely go without saying.

He likes a good sense of humour; he himself is a fairly serious person by nature, but he values someone who can make him laugh.

Having some interests and inclinations in common would be important, although perhaps with just enough difference to keep things interesting. Erestor and his friend Iorissel once tried romance for a while, but frankly they were far too similar and it did not work.

On that note, his partner must have a strong sense of duty and understand the importance of his responsibilities, and take their own duties seriously; they would need to understand that sometimes his work comes first. At the same time, Erestor would not want to always put his work first; if he loves you he should prioritise you, and similarly he would want to be prioritised. This is a hard balance to strike, and he wonders if it is realistic.

Erestor's mind is always whirring, always thinking of what to do next and what might come and how to prepare, even when relaxing. He wants someone who is easy to be with, who can make him relax so much that his mind quietens. If he has already found this quality in his friendship with a certain Captain, he does not say.

[ 🏭 ] is your muse happy with their job or career path? why or why not?

Of course!

Erestor may sometimes act a little put-upon, and he takes so much work upon himself that sometimes he can be a little harried. But he would not do that if he did not want to; if he did not, ultimately, derive satisfaction from it.

Erestor was a hard worker in Lindon, and he respected Gil-galad. But he truly loves Imladris. He helped Elrond build it. He feels a certain sense of stewardship and responsibility towards it. It is his home, and he does what he does to keep it running as smoothly as possible so that all its denizens can be happy and peaceful, sheltered and well-fed.

He helped build Himring too, but those were different, stressful times, and he did not truly enjoy the work he did then. (Additionally, despite being Seneschal of Himring, he still had to do what amounted to military service. He was good at it, but it is not his chosen profession.)

In between being an administrator and counsellor, Erestor is a scholar of lore. He occasionally teaches some of the students (as somewhat of a guest lecturer), and he has contributed to the library. This straddles the line between hobby and career path, admittedly.

[ 🏛 ] does your muse have any strange interests? do they keep these interests to themselves, or are they comfortable sharing them with others?

Not particularly strange. Erestor is a curious person and enjoys learning about the world. He likes learning about other peoples and cultures. He has a passing interest in natural history, or the study of the world around them, though his true passions are history and literature. He has written a few historical analyses and treatises, and sometimes teaches. He is happy to share all these interests.

He does take a special interest in Númenor, because of Elros. Most people assume he is just doing his job, but it is very personal.