#if nothing else i have a few doodles i did yesterday i wanna pretty up so yay 🤍

[yorkin-it]

hmmm i really want to write an elders centric fic but i dont really know what i'd write about? i have an idea about a fic WITH them but its Im centric, not elders centric. i wanna have my hand at trying to scrape up individual characters for them i'm just not sure what to have them do other than sit in their room and talk politics 😔

[gender-i-hardly-know-er]

your stitches are all out, but your scars are healing wrong - chapter 9

<<First...<Prev...Next>

AO3 link

warnings- surreal dreams, kinda unreality? idk how else to put that, lots of swearing, mild logan negativity (we’re in ro’s perspective for a bit), mild sexual jokes/innuendo (nothing huge)

lmk if i should add anything else!

chapter and taglist under the cut

Arthur chewed on the cap of his pen, fingers tapping on the doodle-covered notebook page in front of him. Red, glittery ink was smudged on thon’s fingertips, rubbing streaks of pigment over the paper as thon lazily dragged them across its length. He stared at the page, forgetting what he’d been trying to do…

This happened to Arthur a lot. Zoning out had been an issue for him for years, especially in school. Thon knew it was an ADHD thing, he’d been diagnosed years ago, but knowing the cause doesn't always help fix the problem. Thon rubbed thon’s eyes with the heels of his palms, attempting to restore any focus he once had.

His mind just kept wandering, no matter what thon tried to do to bring it back to the task at hand, which was… what was it? What was he writing? All that was on his page were little doodles of random stuff. Crowns, swords, snakes (that’s a new one-), but no words. Words words words…what had he been planning on writing? Probably some kinda list, there was a tiny star placed at the first line on the notebook like a bullet point. A to-do list? No, Arthur had never made one of those in thon’s life. Grocery list? No, he went yesterday, he should have everything he needed…milk, eggs, bread, extra snacks for the party-

PARTY! That’s what the list was for! Thon needed to write down who he was inviting to his new year's party. He searched for his pen, finding it behind his ear (who knows when that happened), and started mumbling his way through possible attendees.

“Hmm… Hybris, obviously,” thon scribbled thon’s friend’s name down next to the top star. “And that Theo guy, from Puffs! He’s a sweetheart… Oh! Hajime! They’re cool,, I mean we haven’t ever really hung out outside of work, but they’re fun to be around- aaaannnddd I can never tell them I said that…”

As Arthur jotted down Hajime’s name, he found himself at a standstill. Thon couldn’t think of anyone else- did thon really only have three friends? Granted, he hadn’t ever had a lot of friends, but he rarely sat down and counted them like this… thon could’ve sworn that there were a few more-

Eh- not a big deal…at least not an important enough one to dwell on right now. He had people to call!

“Hey Hy-bro!” Arthur instantly regretted that one, cringing at himself.

“... What the hell did you just call me?” Hybris was snickering over the phone, a sound that made Arthur feel all warm inside, but also like he wanted to sucker punch a dickhead (affectionately …mostly).

"Yeahhhh, not my best work, I’ll admit. In my defense, I’m a bit out of it today-”

"Ohhh, your brain’s doin the fuzzy thing? Yeah, I get that all the time, then all I can think about is what it’d be like to have literal cotton for brains. I think I could get along pretty well, plus I’d have a defense if I was ever charged with something! You can't convict me of murder, I wasn’t of sound mind, fuckers! You wouldn’t send a man with cotton for brains to prison, would ya? Checkmate! I would have permanent fuzzy brain- Would you still be my friend if I had cotton for brains?” Hybris spoke faster than the speed of light, hysterically laughing through every word.

Arthur blinked, sighing a bit, “I’m gonna be honest with you, bud, I understood basically nothing you just said.” More cackling on the other line. “Anyways- I had an actual reason for calling you,” he glanced back at his list. He wasn’t gonna forget his task this time, absolutely not. “I’m having a New Year’s party, wanna come?”

Arthur didn't miss the little chuckle Hybris made at the word “come”. Stars forbid crypt grow up even a smidge-

“‘Course, dude! Obviously?” Hybris sounded offended at the idea of rejecting Arthur’s invitation, why would he ever do such a thing? Arthur bit back a smile as Hybris lamented the perceived attack on his character. Hybris was the fucking best. Making friends was never really Arthur’s strong suit… Most people thought he was “too much”. Plus, thon was accidentally mean sometimes, and he hurt people without even realizing it- He knew he was a nice person, but sometimes it felt like there were unspoken rules that everyone else just knew, and no one gave him the memo. Hybris didn't care- He was “too much” for a lot of people, too. It listened to Arthur when he was talking a lot and didn't make fun of him for being loud, it understood when Arthur was joking and wasn’t actually trying to be mean, and it explained stuff that Arthur didn't understand about other people’s reactions to things. Crypt was just so good, even if crypt was a bit eccentric. We all have our eccentricities, right?

They finished up their call with “smell ya later”s and offended prince noises, and Arthur looked back down at thon’s list. Next was… Theo!! He went into his contacts and pressed the call button, barely having enough time to bring the phone to his ear before Theo answered.

“Cedric! How’s it goin’, kid?”

“Same age, friendo, and it’s going pretty well. Ya like parties?” The excited squeal that came over the phone could’ve been heard miles away. So much for perfect hearing, huh?

“I love parties! Are you having one? Can I come? Do you want me to bring anything? I’ll make cookies! Where? And also when? And also who’s gonna be there? And-” Man, Arthur’s friends had a lot of energy.

“Slow down, hashbrown,” hashbrown? “I just processed literally none of that, start over,” Arthur shook his head, still trying to get rid of the terminal fuzzy brain.

“I said that I love parties! And asked if you were gonna have one, ya know, since you kinda asked out of the blue.”

“Oh, yeah I’m having one! And I was calling to invite you. My place, on New Year’s Eve.” Arthur bounced on his toes, Theo’s infectious energy getting to him.

The rest of the call went by in excited squeals and insistent offers to bring cookies (which Arthur only half-pretended to decline, Theo’s cookies were fucking divine). Arthur hung up with a smile, about to call Hajime. No, wait… ne specifically said not to call unless something was wrong. Ne hates phone calls, texting should be better-

He opted to text his work friend instead.

ARK

Would you happen to be doing anything on New Year’s?

elevator boy

no

why

ARK

I’m gonna be having a party. Wanna come?

elevator boy

depends

can i bring my partner 👉👈

n my new… friend? i think? its unclear, but yk

ARK

Ofc! What’re their names and pronouns and such- just for future reference?

elevator boy

athena’s my partner, the one we talked with in the elevator

she/they/moon/pix/this/that

n the other ones alvara

also from elevator ig lmao

they/she/drac/vamp

ARK

Splendid ! ╰(*°▽°*)╯

Okay. Okay! Five people then. Arthur could work with that. He went to the kitchen to take snack inventory and began preparations for the gathering, making a mental note to clean at least a little in the next few days, before people were gonna be here. This place is looking… not entirely fit for a prince- I gotta start vacuuming…

~~~

“…well, why not try expressing your feelings in a way that makes sense for you?” Patton’s puppet might not have been able to show a smile, but his tone was comforting enough for Roman to consider this. Maybe just talking wasn’t the best move here. Maybe it’d be easier to express himself in a different way… perhaps… through song?

“Well, that might work… let’s see…” Roman cleared his throat and prepared himself for sharing, the comically large chin of his puppet sticking out prominently. “Maestro?” the music started, and Roman took a deep breath. This may be a little harder than he thought…

“Oh. Uhh, what? No-” Logan, being a little bitch as always. Why did he have to shoot down every idea Roman had? Why was nothing good enough for him? No matter. He’d continue on, no matter what Dr. No-Funsen Honeydew thought.

“🎵 So you’ve gone and called someone stupid…🎵” Roman shot a pointed look at Logan, so that dense asshole would know what he was getting at. He needs everything spelled out for him, that prick. “🎵And in response, they damaged your eye,🎵” he pointed at his eye. If Logan wanted overboard clarity, he’d give it to him.

“🎵 But there is where the conflict must end, lest you both end up blind, 🎵” Roman found himself wishing he’d thrown something at Logan first, especially given his response.

“Another song? Really?” DUDE, this is for your benefit! What the hell is your problem?

“🎵 Sometimes, the problems at play are not all plain to see…🎵” How did Logan not see his fault here? Roman did everything he could to please him, and yet nothing was ever good enough! Logan was the reason Thomas was feeling bad, not him, no matter what anyone else said.

“🎵 So we lash out at our loved ones, disregarding our bond’s sanctity!🎵” Even if Logan was an asshole sometimes (most of the time), Roman still loved him! Did Logan not feel the same? Did he not see Roman as one of his loved ones? Roman looked over to the paper bag to his side, asking for his friend’s help.

“🎵There are several sides to us that may seem abstract at first until we discover where everything fits,🎵” Patton danced around a bit, his words seeming to resonate with Thomas, judging from his expression. “🎵 and people can be like a half-missing puzzle set. As we find the pieces, things make more and more sense!🎵” Patton brought up some good points. Thomas and Virgil still seemed a bit confused, the latter tilting his sock-puppet head questioningly.

“Nice imagery, but I’m not sure I follow-” Thomas seemed to be getting more confused as the conversation went on, asking for clarity.

“Well, I’ll give you an example…”

The room started getting all fuzzy. Where the hell was Arthur? What was up with the puppets? Why were they singing? Where was that beeping coming from?

What in the sweet name of Darren Criss?

Arthur woke up with his brow furrowed and his brain spinning- none of that made any goddamn sense. Thon was having puppet dreams. PUPPETS. Ones that he knew the names of for some reason. Why was he a puppet? And why were they calling him Roman? He’d never gone by his middle name. One of them seemed scarily similar to Theo… Their voices even sounded the same. Arthur bit the inside of thon’s cheek, bringing thonself back to reality. He had a party to prepare for, thon didn’t need this puppetry fuckery to mess that up! Thon could worry about this later. He turned off his alarm and stretched, the puppet song still ringing in his ears.

Thon spent most of his day cleaning, putting together snacks, and waiting (somewhat) patiently for the set arrival time of his guests, 6 o’clock.

Theo was the first to arrive, almost an hour early (no surprises there), and he came bearing gifts.

“Fuck yeah! It’s the cookies! Gay Finch, you never disappoint," Arthur grinned as Theo handed him a Tupperware container filled with specially made double-chocolate chunk cookies, the top open for thon to take one. He munched on his cookie as he gave Theo a brief tour of the place, pointing out all his favorite posters (an Encanto poster with the whole family and signed by Lin-Manuel Miranda, a MARINA poster he got at his first concert, and a Princess and The Frog poster with Doctor Facilier, thon’s childhood crush, and some of his friends from the other side) and telling Theo all about each one.

They spent the rest of the time together discussing their first and favorite concerts, Theo's being a Kidz Bop show when he was six and his dad taking him to a Fleetwood Mac concert. Arthur’s were both MARINA, but two different shows (he had his first kiss at a later one, that was his favorite).

They were in the middle of reminiscing about their first time seeing a theatre production when Hybris burst through the door, blurting out “HEY PISSY! IT’S ME, YA BOY!”

“Excuse me, Hybris, we were in the middle of a conversation,” Arthur struggled to keep his laughter from bubbling up through his faux annoyance. Thon shot Hybris a half-assed glare, to which the latter paid no mind as it picked up the (slightly) shorter man and spun him around.

“Come on, you love me. Helicopter, nyyooooomm!” Hybris giggled as Princey’s legs fanned out and pinwheeled around the room, narrowly missing Theo’s face. Arthur went slack in its hold, helpless to the whims of his captor.

“Woah, sorry, Lovitz, didn't mean ta’ put Arthur’s Disney Princess socks that close to your face, I’m sure they’ve gotta reeeeeek,” Hybris stuck his tongue out at Arthur, who dramatically crossed his arms and pouted.

“How could you insult my honor like this, dearest friend? My brother in arms, transgressing upon that which I hold unthinkably close to my heart- a betrayal I shall never forget, good sir. What did my Disney Princess socks do to you to deserve this defamation? Apologies are in order, methinks,” Arthur placed the back of his palm on his forehead, looking down in mock disdain. Thon had to bite his bottom lip to hold back his rising smile.

Hybris looked down at the socks, loudly declaring, “One million apologies, my fibrous cotton friends. You may smell just a bit, but then again, what socks do not? T’was an oversight on my part, and I beg for your forgiveness, oh Great Disney Princess Socks.” It finished with a flourishing bow and plopped down in the middle of the couch, taking up way more room than completely necessary.

“I have no idea what just happened but I love it!” Theo’s eyes were wide with wonder at the odd expression of brotherly love shown between the men, his smile splitting his face in two.

It wasn't long before there was a rapping knock on the door (five knocks, and what sounded like a snap from outside). Arthur rushed up from his place on the couch, knowing it must be Hajime and ner buddies. Thon loved meeting new people, and he was especially excited to meet these two. If Hajime thinks these people are cool, he probably would too.

He opened the door to find Hajime standing between two wildly different people. One of the said people was shorter than Hajime (somehow), wearing a black polo and a tie, entirely overdressed for the occasion. Their shirt was tucked into a short and form-fitting navy pencil skirt that showed off their full figure, and the blue on their simple flats matched the color of their tie. Their blue and orange split-dyed hair was woven into an intricate braid that fell delicately over their shoulder, their bangs falling ever so slightly in front of their glasses. They looked put together; sensible, even as they rocked back and forth on their feet, barely noticeable, but there, showing visible apprehension. Their Saturn-shaped earrings swayed with their body, back and forth, a hypnotizing pendulum. Arthur felt cold just looking at them.

The other person was way taller, towering in comparison to their two companions. They fidgeted with their hands, picking at their black painted nails and chipping them more than they already were. They wore a graphic tee from a band Arthur had never heard of under a purple-checkered hoodie, skinny jeans tucked into laced-up combat boots, and a black beanie over their faded purple hair. They had lesbian flag earrings hanging from their heavily pierced ears (Arthur counted at least six different pieces of jewelry on each ear). Their makeup was simple, black lipstick and sharp eyeliner. Not something Arthur would wear, but it looked perfectly right on them. They kept their gaze on their hands, pointedly avoiding the gaze of others around them. Arthur could sense their nerves, and he didn't blame them. They didn't know him, so it was perfectly acceptable to be nervous. He was the first to speak, cutting the brief tension.

“Hajime! And you two are Athena,” he pointed to the taller person, “and Alvara,” he pointed toward the smaller one, who had their head in their hands. The tall one held back laughter as Hajime smiled at Arthur, shaking her head.

“Other way ‘round, dear. Athena,” ne tilted ner head toward the short one Athena, “is my partner. Alvara,” head tilt in Alvara’s direction, “is my…friend? Have we established that?” Alvara gave them a “so-so” gesture. “Ah, well, Alvara is my acquaintance, then.” Hajime looked up at Alvara, who shrugged.

“Sure, that works, I guess.” Alvara shifted their gaze to Arthur, “and you’re Arthur? Like, elevator Arthur?” drac raised an eyebrow.

“The very same,” Arthur gave a small bow, which made Alvara laugh. This is going well, fuck yeah! Arthur was getting a little lightheaded, though thon was unsure why. He just felt weird- the more thon spoke with people today, the weirder thon felt. Nerves? No, he wasn’t nervous, maybe it was just excitement. Either way, it was getting to him. His vision was getting blurry around the edges, just a bit, and thon barely saw Athena’s outstretched hand, ready for a handshake.

“It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance,” Athena looked at him expectantly, her hand slowly lowering as she registered the lack of response. Arthur rushed to shake moon’s hand, jolting his head back and forth to restore his waning focus. He felt a shock run up his arm, painful and cold. Judging by Athena’s reaction of yanking her hand back, she felt the same thing. They glanced at Hajime, who nodded subtly, an unreadable expression on both of their faces.

“...Come on in, we’ve got snacks and stuff, help yourselves to anything your hearts desire,” Arthur stepped to the side to let the trio by as he stared confusedly at the ground. That was… odd. Thon’s “just shake off the weird confusion stuff till it goes away” philosophy was failing thon, and he had no idea why. He rubbed his eyes and shut the door, turning around to see everyone staring at each other, wide-eyed and puzzled.

Arthur’s vision went foggy as he turned to look at Hajime. And then it happened; thon’s head strained with the pain of memories that weren’t his- thon saw a room he’d never been in, people he’d never met, hands and legs and arms and a body that wasn’t his-

“We can't trust him! He’s asking us to go back on things we’ve known for years! Rights and wrongs, shoulds and shouldn’ts! How can we trust him?!” Roman was exasperated. How could Thomas listen to him? He’s literally Deceit! He’s the bad guy! What did he ever do to earn a seat at the table?

Deceit sighed and looked at Roman. “... I don't have a simple answer to that question,” he seemed to be considering something, taking a pause and moving his gaze to the ground for a moment. “... but here’s a start.” he started taking off his glove, all eyes on him… what was he trying to do?

“My name…” No. No, no no no no no NO! Roman looked up at him in disbelief. Names were like… a whole thing! What kind of game was he playing? Thomas would be more inclined to trust him now. It had to be a trick. He was toying with them… right?

Deceit raised his hand, like an oath. He took a deep breath. Was he-? Was he really gonna tell them?

“My name is Janus.” No way. That’s a fake name. Absolutely not. Roman didn't believe that for a second.

“PFTTT!! Janus?” Roman laughed, “What are you, a middle school librarian?” More laughter. “It’s a stupid name.”

Listen! Roman wasn’t trying to hurt him! It wasn’t his fault that Janus took offense to his statement! And it especially didn't warrant his response-

“Oh, Roman, thank god you don't have a moustache. Otherwise, between you and Remus, I wouldn’t know who the evil twin is.”

W-what? Evil? He wasn’t? …Right? He was just joking around! He didn't-

Arthur tore his eyes off of Hajime, head pounding as the ache of remembrance flooded through his body. Thon didn't know why that comment hurt him… thon didn't know what any of that was. Who was that snake-face dude? Janus, he said his name was. Why did he hate him so much? Thon moved thon’s gaze to the right, his eyes settling on Alvara and oh fuck I guess we’re doing this again-

“Oh my goodness, do I have to? I mean, like, so many changes… I just told you my name.” Virgil looked apprehensive, but what else was new? Shit, Roman had been trying so hard to be nicer to him this time, and he still ended up making him feel bad- he didn't mean to put any pressure on him! Even when he was trying to be better, he ended up making others feel worse. What was wrong with him?

“No, no, you don't have to. I just thought-” Roman quickly tried to do damage control, but he was cut off.

“I actually… agh, I actually had this idea, but, like… it’s a little out there. So, um…” Virgil? Had an “out there” idea? Man, Roman really did misjudge him.

Thomas smiled reassuringly, “Go ahead, I mean, if you don't like it, you can always change back.”

Virgil sighed, considering it. “Well, alright, but, um… Before I do, I should probably confess that uh…” He blinked out for a moment and reappeared in a wildly different outfit. A purple patchwork jacket sat over a ripped t-shirt (also purple), displaying an emblem of a stormcloud. It was so, very …Virgil.

“WOAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-”

Arthur rubbed his eyes, bringing himself out of… whatever that was. He brought thon’s attention back in front of him, to Alvara. Thon only now noticed the smudged black eyeshadow under her eyes. It was strikingly similar to that of one of the men he had seen. What had they called him? Virgil? No, they never said that… but Arthur knew that was his name, somehow. Shifting his gaze to Athena, he almost expected the tumbling feeling that took over him as thon was yanked into another unfamiliar (but not too unfamiliar) memory…

“Well…” Logan looked incredulous, giving Princey a confused glare. Who cares if he wants to do a rap battle or not? They were in daydream mode! Princey’s mode, Princey’s rules.

“Too bad, you’re doing it.”

“AGGRESSIVE BOUTS OF BEAT POETRY! LOGAN VS PRINCEY! GO!” No, wait, why did Logan look so ready? He just said he didn't want to do it! Whatever, Princey was gonna crush him.

“Ladies, Lords, and Nonbinary Royalty! Watch me as I beat this geek, and do it joyously!” Ha! Logan looked so mad, giving him the side-eye. “I’ll vanquish any villain with the gall to try to toy with me. Ask the Dragon Witch- she knows the drill. You’re screwed royally!” Princey smiled, satisfied with his performance.

“Stricken with clairvoyancy, events occurred as I’d foreseen,” shit, Logan was kinda good- “Your verse was weak, your rapping stinks, flamboyantly employing these- Trisyllabic rhymes?” Logan did a fancy little hand move. No! That was Princey’s fancy little hand move! How dare! “PSSHH, I can match that easily,” Princey glared at Logan, getting angry now. He watched Anxiety look between them, clearly surprised by Logan’s unexpected skill. Ughhhh! “I’ll beat you every time, so you do not want beef with me, Princey!” That bastard! “I drown out lesser emcees when I flow, there's no avoiding me. Under pressure, I rise up- holler at your buoyancy!”

“Woo!” Morality yelled out in encouragement. Betrayal of the highest order! Even Anxiety was vibing… this isn’t how this was supposed to go!

“Diadems are worn on Capita. I had this battle on lock like Attica! You're through; go home, Princey, pack it up. I claimed to be the better bard, and I backed it up!”

What the fuck was Princey supposed to do with that?? He looked at Logan incredulously.

“Wow.” Clearly, Thomas had no idea what to do with this either.

“Wher- where did that come from?”

“I have an appreciation for poetry.” LOGAN. LOGAN WHY? LO-

Arthur cringed in embarrassment from his loss. That was- wait. His loss? That wasn’t him… was it? Why did all these memories have moments that made him feel like shit? Let’s go again, I guess, he thought as thon moved thon’s eyes to Theo. These memories were connected to these people, somehow, since they changed as he looked at each of them. How they were connected, thon didn't know. He let thonself fall into another scene-

“I…” Patton started glitching out, his voice getting garbled and distorted. “Don’t…” He was distressed, almost crying. “KNOWWWWWWWW!”

They were suddenly in another video game scenario, a Mega Man-style scene. Roman saw a bar labeled “PATTON HEALTH” shoot up as Patton’s screams filled his ears. “MAYBE?!”

Patton grew and grew, smashing the apartment. He became a monster, a giant… Frog? The health bar changed to “LILYPADTON HEALTH”. Wonderful pun, terrifying context.

“Patton! It’s okay- Please calm down!” Thomas was frantic now, horrified by the situation in front of him, but he was still trying to help Patton. Of course he was.

“ We do all think of people who lay down their lives for others as the greatest heroes, so... I-I-I don't know!” Pat’s voice was lower pitched now, he didn't sound like himself. Roman stood, petrified, watching his friend’s reality shatter into pieces, helpless to intervene.

Logan popped up in his box, speaking to Patton, “You don't know? Earlier you suggested that all people naturally understand right and wrong. So? Should Thomas die so that others may live?” This was too far. Patton was in pain, how could Logan be concerned with proving his point? He sunk out, letting Patton respond.

“Yes? Uh- I mean... Maybe? ...Or maybe not! What do I know? What do you think, Thomas? If it's your life..” Patton held up Leslie Odom Jr., who was writhing around in his grip, “or Leslie's!”

Not again! “By the slow wit of Heracles, Patton, leave Leslie out of this one!” Roman yelled. What was it with him and Leslie Odom Jr.?

“B-But how is Thomas supposed to feel empathy for this person if he has no one to visualize?”

“Is there no one else he can feel empathy for?” Leslie had been through enough!

“You're right, Roman.” he tossed Leslie aside, opening an inventory box. Thomas' life…” He grabbed… no- “...or Lee and Mary Lee's!” They shifted back to the trolley problem scenario, Thomas tied to one side, Lee and Mary Lee on the other. “What do you say, Thomas? Uh, I don't know the right answer here! It's up to you!”

Roman looked on in awe. This was not the Patton he knew. Patton would never willingly put Thomas or his friends in danger. He’d never make Thomas do this. What happened to him?

Logan popped up again, angrier than Roman thought he could be.

“ENOUGH!-”

That was definitely enough of that one. Arthur was getting more confused as he went on. Thon kept seeing the same people in all these scenes, in the same room, wearing the same things. They all looked the same, too! They all looked like one guy in different outfits, but thon thought of them as individual people somehow. It didn't make any sense! He glanced at Hybris, being pulled into what was (hopefully) the last memory-

“Obviously, she wasn’t a ghost, ghosts are evil! Except for Moana’s grandmother.” Roman couldn’t believe he had to explain this to Virgil. The emo one! No one should know more about ghosts than him!

“Well, there's one thing I know; Reese Witherspoon isn't-” Patton looked toward Roman. “EVIL…” his voice cracked out of nowhere. What was that about?

“Ha! I resent that. Ghosts aren't evil. They just scare people because you never know when they're gonna-” Virgil turned to Roman- “SHOW UP!” His voice did the weird thing it does when he’s having a bad time… What happened?

“Okay, okay! I take back what I said about ghosts!-” Roman felt something heavy hit the back of his head-

Arthur fell to the floor, his vision going black.

Note: sorry this one has taken forever,, holidays are hard and school has been a lot

this chapter was also just really hard bc arthur’s/roman’s perspective is super difficult for me to write, plus I had to rewatch a bunch of eps, it was just a lot more work than the others have been, but it’s important, yk?

i’m pretty satisfied with how it turned out, though!

thanks for reading, and stay frosty :)

-duck

taglist

@azorii-tulip @will-wood-fan-01 @anonymous-gremlin @whatishappeningrightnow @simplestoryteller @trash-bastard

[wizardessheart-sideb]

[Image ID: A chapter image done in the style of Wizardess Heart. A large, off-white imagine with a guy on it. He’s wearing a dark gray uniform. There’s a lavender bar over him that reads “Tsukasa Kuze.” The rest of the text reads “Main Story” and “Chapter 7: The Love Holiday” /End ID]

Chapter summary: The Love Holiday comes out of nowhere and Tsukasa’s sick from class. I hope he’s feeling okay...

I sat in our homeroom, waiting for Tsukasa to get to class. The atmosphere in class was strange. Lots of people were writing Magic Notes to friends and loved ones, I assumed, and a few were on their phones, talking to their significant others. It felt extra lonely without him to talk to. Maybe it was just that weird sort of melancholy that happens when the Love Holiday comes around or maybe I’ve gotten so used to being with Tsukasa, but there was an ache inside of me. I just wanted to see him. Especially considering how he wasn’t feeling well yesterday.

The events from yesterday flooded my mind and again, my cheeks flushed a bit. The door to the classroom opened and I stood up a bit straighter. It was just Fandamilia, a small sack over her shoulders.

“Hi everyone! Happy Love Holiday!” she called out cheerfully. Only Clive, Viggo, and I responded to her.

“What’s in the bag, Millie?” Viggo asked, lazily pointing to it.

“I made special cards for everyone in the Night Class! I spent all day working on them!”

She started handing them out to everyone. A few people murmured thanks, but most just quietly accepted them. She got to us and her grin widened even more. I could see the dark circles under her eyes. “I made you guys special ones since you’re my best friends!” Fandamilia handed us three cards much larger than the other ones. Mine was coated in glitter and in surprisingly clean, elegant writing, the words “Thank you for being a great friend!” adorned the front.

“This is so sweet. Thank you,” I told her.

“You’re welcome! It’s the least I can do for you guys!” she replied.

“You’re so sentimental,” Viggo said with an eye roll. But even I could see the ghost of a smile on his face. And how he carefully tucked the card into his notebook.

“Thank you, Fandamilia,” Clive said, holding his own card. She beamed as she took her usual spot. I glanced over at his. A surprisingly well-done inky sketch adorned the front of it.

“Did you draw that?” I asked her.

“No, I commissioned a friend to draw it. I personalized everyone’s cards!” she explained. She pulled a few out of her sack. “I made some make up doodles on Isabelle’s, a Magic Board Game for Matthew, some demonology stuff for Aika and Dorian’s cards, that sort of thing.”

“Demonology?” Clive cocked an eyebrow at her and Viggo melodramatically slumped his shoulders.

“They’re super into demons. I thought everyone knew that,” Fandamilia frowned. “Do you think that’s too weird to put on a Love Holiday card?”

“Yes,” Viggo responded bluntly.

“I’m sure it’s fine,” I reassured her. “Uh, off topic, but when were heading over here, did you see Tsukasa at all?”

“No, I didn’t. I’m kind of surprised he’s not here yet. He’s always on time,” she answered and my stomach dropped.

“Oh, okay. Thanks anyway.”

“I’m sure he’ll be here soon!” she tried to reassure me. But the bell rang and the only person to come into our class was Prefect Nox. For some reason, I couldn’t get the sinking feeling out of my stomach. Why wasn’t Tsukasa in class today? Was he feeling even worse? Was he okay?

---

“Hey, come over here for a moment,” Rex called to me, motioning for me to come to the podium. The final bell had just rung and students were even faster to leave class than normal. I quickly got my stuff together and went over to Prefect Rex. “Is Tsukasa feeling all right?” he asked.

“I don’t know. He wasn’t feeling good yesterday and I wasn’t able to check on him during lunch today,” I replied.

“That’s too bad,” Rex lamented. “Could you go take his make-up work to him?”

“Of course.”

“Great. Thank you.” He handed over some paperwork and I slipped it into my backpack. We said goodbye and I started a beeline for the dorms. For some reason, the walk seemed so much longer, even though I was hurrying. Maybe I was just worrying too much. Maybe it was stress. I just wanna see if Tsukasa’s okay.

As soon as I got in the dorm building, I saw Dorian, Aika, and Isabelle in the foyer. Aika looked like a corpse and Isabelle, although not as drastic, looked downright ghoulish.

“I didn’t know today was Halloween,” I commented. Aika just laughed.

“There you are! What’re your plans for today?” she asked me.

“My plans? I’m just going to go check on Tsukasa and then study, I guess. Why?”

“Well, every year on the Love Holiday, Rex and Nox ask me to pretend to be a ghost to scare Day Class students away from our turf. Apparently, fooling around in graveyards is very popular,” she explained, crinkling her nose in disgust at the last bit.

“We were thinking this would be an all-hands-on-deck operation,” Dorian elaborated. “But if you’re going to be spending tonight with Tsukasa, you don’t have to help.”

“I… Uh, I don’t know how to unpack this.” I didn’t even know where to start. People trying to go to pound town in a GRAVEYARD?! Dressing up as ghosts to scare them away?!

“The graveyard stuff or us pretending to be ghosts?” Isabelle was visibly fighting back laughter. “It’s really only Aika that pretends to do it since her magic is harder for people to detect and she can pull out all the stops. We’ll step in if needed.”

“No, I don’t want them to hang out with us if they’re planning on seeing Tsukasa. You two have fun, all right,” Aika smiled. I was left spluttering as she winked and moved passed me. Dorian smirked and Isabelle just gave me a little wave and told me she’d see me later. They’re an interesting bunch. I guess I should make more of an effort to spend time with them.

Taking my chance, I hurried into the elevator and up to Tsukasa’s floor. I finally got to Tsukasa’s dorm room and immediately knocked on the door.

“Tsukasa, it’s me. Can I come in?” I asked.

“Of course!” He sounded more chipper than yesterday. Maybe he just stayed home today as a precaution? Or he was just skipping? The locked clicked as the door swung open. Tsukasa was propped up in bed, still in his pajamas. He looked paler than he did yesterday.

“Are you okay?!” I dropped my things and shut the door, hurrying over to him.

“I’m just feeling a bit under the weather, is all,” he told me.

“I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner. How are you feeling right now?”

“I’m fine…” The stern look on my face made the fake smile slip from his face. Tsukasa sighed. “Okay, I’m feeling pretty bad.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m just feeling dizzy and weak. And I have a bit of a headache today.” Poor thing.

“Is there anything I can do for you?”

“It’s fine. I took some pain medication and hopefully that kicks in soon.”

“I hope it does too. I can go, if you’d like to get some rest,” I offered. I didn’t want to go, but if it helped him rest up and get better, I’d do it. It was probably the only thing I could do for him right now.

“No, I like you being here.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to keep you from resting up.”

“No, I’d rather have you here. You always make me feel better,” he admitted sheepishly, a slight grin on his lips. Cute my heart melting into a puddle. A large, goofy smile tried to worm its way onto my face, but I did my best not to smile too goofy.

“I’m happy to hear that,” I replied. There was a beat and Rex randomly popped into my mind. Right! The make-up work. “By the way, I brought your make-up work for you. Where do you want it?”

“On my desk is fine, thank you,” he said.

I started going through my bag, placing my things on the floor to get to his packet. I really needed to stop shoving my things into my bag willy-nilly. But I guess that was a project for later. I felt Tsukasa’s eyes on me as I piled more and more things on the ground until I hit pay dirt.

“What’s that?” he asked, pointing to the pile of things I’d pulled out.

“The card? It’s from Fandamilia. She gave everyone cards today. You can read it if you want.” I didn’t wait for an answer, handing it over to him as I got up. His lavender eyes quickly glanced over it. “I’m sorry I didn’t make you anything for today. It totally slipped my mind the Love Holiday was even coming up. I’ve been so preoccupied on studying.”

“No, you don’t have to apologize for anything. I guess I was just surprised you got one too. For a moment I thought she had a crush on me,” her laughed. Something inside me twinged. “She had Viggo deliver mine to me.”

“Yeah, Clive, Viggo, and I helped her pass them out during lunch, which is why I didn’t come. She made one for everyone in the Night Class,” I told him.

“She’s a kind girl.” Again, deep inside me, I felt a twinge of irritation.  “But…” His voice trailed off.

“Hm? What is it?” I inquired. He just shook his head.

“No, it’s nothing.”

“I won’t make you tell me, but I’d like to hear it.” We made a promise to be more open with each other. Maybe he just needed a little push. I placed his work on his desk and when I turned around to face him, his face was bright red.

“I… I was just worried someone else had given you a Love Holiday card,” he stammered, falling over his words.

“Oh, it’s no big deal! Some people give those cards to their friends and stuff, but it’s really fifty-fifty, so you don’t have to worry about me feeling owed something from you, or something,” I explained. This must be his first Love Holiday. Part of me felt bad if he was worried about giving me anything. Tsukasa’s eyes glanced to his blankets, face even redder than it had been a moment ago.

“It’s not that… I was just worried that it was a romantic card,” he mumbled.

“‘Romantic?’ Why would you worry… Oh!” The butterflies in my stomach started fluttering around in a frenzy and my heart started pounding in my chest. I could feel my face burning from the inside out.

“I-I-I uh… You don’t have to worry about anyone else,” I stammered. His face lit up.

“I don’t? Do you like me too?”

“I do.” Electric excitement was flowing through my veins and I was surprised that I even managed to speak.

“You do? … Oh, I’m so relieved.” He relaxed and I couldn’t help but giggle at his exaggerated movements.

“I was so worried you only saw me as a friend,” he admitted. I shook my head and reached out to grab his hand.

“I like you a lot, Tsukasa. I want to be your partner.”

“And I want to be your boyfriend.”

Even with all the jittery excitement and happiness flooding my body, there was just a smidgen of embarrassment. Tsukasa gave me that warm smile I’d come to love. He reached his hand out and I took it. Wordlessly, he moved over so I could lay beside him. We snuggled up together, his arm around my shoulder and my arm across his chest. We laid there, just basking in each other. Although my racing heart started to slow down, the giddiness inside me kept going and going.

This was a new chapter for us, and I was beyond excited to start it with him by my side as my boyfriend.

[221bshrlocked]

I Put a Spell on You

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 2256

Warnings: fluffff. So much freaking fluff.

A/N: this was supposed to be a short drabble but things got outta hand quite literally and now I have this. I couldn’t not write something for Halloween so I hope you enjoy this :)

You assumed Wanda understood that you felt uncomfortable by her invitation to the small halloween party she was having when you continued to say no but then she barged into the coffee shop a few hours ago and demanded you get off your shift a little early and grab your costume. 

“For the last time, I really don’t think that’s a good idea Wanda. I’m like an outlier and it’ll be very obvious and I’d rather not have anyone think I’m there because-”

“Y/N shut up, you’re coming. Literally everyone knows you by now and I’d highly doubt anyone will think that way. As a matter of fact, someone was super excited when I said I invited you.” Wanda grabbed her coffee from your hand before you even placed a cover on it.

“You’re lying...who was it?” You tried not to sound too excited, hoping she’d tell you it was a certain introvert who spent most of his afternoons in your little cafe writing and doodling. When she didn’t respond, you turned around and saw her already smiling at you.

“Y/N, go sign out.” You heard your boss yell out from across the shop and you knew Wanda had already spoken to her. 

“Fine, but know that I don’t like any bit of this.” You took your apron off and walked past your boss, shaking your head at her when she told you she couldn’t deny any request by any of the Avengers. Quickly grabbing your things, you walked towards your place with Wanda and refused to wear the costume she brought for you.

“Why not? You’ll look really cute in this.” 

“You mean I’ll look desperate. No thank you I already have one.” Throwing your things on the couch, you walked into your room to freshen up and grabbed the home-made costume before putting on some light make up and walking out.

“Are you kidding me Y/N? That could barely pass as a home-made costume.” She complained about the shirt and your lack of ideas to which you ignored before exiting your apartment

“I’ll have you know, I wore this to class yesterday and pretty much everyone was triggered. That shit is terrifying Wanda. I’m serious.” You attempted to convince her that your sense of humor was spot on but she ignored you all the way to the tower. Once you got there, Wanda handed you a special tag to wear so no one would stop you when you try to go anywhere.

“This will get you anywhere you want...actually, no. Anywhere you’re allowed to be in.” She sipped her coffee before pushing you towards the elevator, already hoping that everyone was on time so you wouldn’t feel awkward. 

When the elevator rang, Wanda walked out and turned around, only to see the nervousness seeping through your clothes. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s just us Y/N. Pretend we’re at the coffee shop.” She smiled at you and you wished her assuring words would work but your nerves got the best of you. 

As soon as you stepped out, you heard screaming and yelling from the opposite end of the room. Walking behind Wanda, you watched a bunch of middle aged men and women screaming at each other while carving pumpkins, laughing to yourself when you saw how invested Steve was in his own pumpkin. You didn’t announce your arrival right away, wanting to watch them in their “natural habitat” before things got awkward.

You were doing a fairly good job standing on the side and sipping some of the green juice from the large cauldron when you felt something pull on your shirt. Looking down, you saw a young boy staring at you with chocolate all over his face and his hands, which were now on your jeans. You laughed at his carelessness before kneeling down and smiling at him.

“Hi, I’m Y/N, what’s your name?” 

“I’m Nathaniel. Why aren’t you wearing a costume?” He asked in all seriousness and you had to stop the laugh from erupting so he doesn’t think you were laughing at him. “I am actually wearing a costume. This is what some grown-ups are afraid of.” 

“You’re afraid of a chocolate bar?” He asked again and this time, you couldn’t help but laugh at his innocence.

“Oh no sweetheart, this is the Bar Exam. It’s a little different from a chocolate bar. It’s like a test, a really very hard test that I have to take.”

“Well, if you study for it, won’t you pass?” He tilted his head to the side and you pouted at how cute he was

“I wish it were that easy buddy.” You ruffled his hair and watched as he smiled up at you before taking a chunk out of the chocolate frog in his hand.

“Hey little guy, didn’t I tell you to make sure you wipe your hands before grabbing anyone?” You knew who it was instantly, and wished you tried a little harder with how you looked. Looking up, you saw the one and only Bucky Barnes smiling down at you, the expression growing wider when he saw the way you reacted to him. 

As much as you tried, you couldn’t hold back the starstruck expression you held. This was Bucky for god’s sake but his costume made it worse; his long hair was slicked back in a ponytail and not covering his face anymore. And my god, those eyes were such a vibrant blue, especially with the glasses adorning his sharp features. Then there was the cardigan and jeans that were both at least one size smaller. You didn’t know what he was supposed to be and you honestly didn’t care. All you paid attention to was how absolutely breathtaking he looked

“Wanda didn’t tell me you were coming.” Bucky asked as he grabbed the chocolate out of Nathaniel’s hand so he could clean his hands. 

“I- umm, well, I initially said no but you know Wanda. She doesn’t take no for an answer.” You stood up and didn’t know what else to say, watching as Bucky grabbed a wet wipe and rub the melted chocolate from the little boy’s hand before telling him he couldn’t have any more chocolate.

“Hey hey this is your sixth chocolate frog and I’d rather not have Laura come after me. Now, go and see if Steve finished your pumpkin or not.” You watched as the kid ran to Steve and jumped on his lap to see his pumpkin, almost yelping when you felt something rub at your upper thighs.

“Hold still, there’s some chocolate here.” Bucky said as he knelt behind you and rubbed your jeans with a wet towel. “Damn, this kid really went for it huh?” 

“Haha uhh yeah, yup. That- ahuha.” You didn’t know what to say, torn between wanting to focus on the hand holding onto your hips while pretending Bucky touching you wasn’t a huge deal.

“There, I got most of it out. Nice costume by the way, really funny.” 

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell Wanda.” You turned away when you saw how intense holding his gaze was and pretended you were getting more juice.

“Wanna carve a pumpkin with us?” Bucky was already walking towards the corner table where Clint’s other kids were sitting. 

“I’m not really that talented to be honest, I’d just end up ruining your pumpkins.”

“Nonsense, we have a lot. And no one here is talented...except maybe Steve and I. And I’m definitely not biased.” Bucky smiled at you before motioning for you to follow him. You did silently and ignored Wanda and Natasha’s stares.

Sitting down, you introduced yourself to Lila and Cooper before turning to watch Bucky work his magic. 

Within minutes, you were so focused on watching him carve the pumpkin that you didn’t notice when he stole glances at you. He was so talented with the knife and a part of you, the slightly inappropriate one, wished he was using those skills in a different way but you brushed the thought aside. Almost fifteen minutes later, Bucky was giving Lila her pumpkin and smiling when she screamed from how perfect it was.

“My god how did you do that?” You asked, holding the pumpkin up for Lila to take a picture before setting it down to look at it. In the middle of the pumpkin was a flying Tinkerbell with fairy dust all around her. It was both beautiful and on point that you couldn’t help but praise him.

“What can I say doll? I’m talented with my hands,” he watched as you flushed at his comment, knowing fully well you caught onto what he meant. Bucky winked at you before getting up and walking over to Steve to see his pumpkin.

“Now, how about Y/N judges which is the better pumpkin?” Steve asked Bucky and you immediately said no, not wanting to have any kids crying because you favored one super soldier over the other.

“We trust your unbiased opinion Y/N!” Clint said and laughed along with Sam when they saw your semi-angry expression. You honestly couldn’t tell which was better because as precise and beautiful as Bucky’s was, Steve’s was straight up art. He managed to carve out Van Gogh’s Starry Night and use correct shading on a pumpkin and you couldn’t tell which was better.

“Guys I honestly cannot decide. They’re both so unbelievable.” You turned and saw Lila telling you to choose the other one so her brother doesn’t cry and you ended up doing just that. “But I think Steve’s wins because nothing beats Van Gogh.” As soon as you said that, Nathaniel started jumping up and down and stuck his tongue out at Bucky before grabbing another chocolate frog and running to you.

“Here, the winner was supposed to take this one but I’ll give it to you because you’re not a meanie head like Bucky.” You hugged the little kid before taking the chocolate and walking out to the balcony to get some fresh air.

Seconds later, you heard someone clear their throat and asking if they could join you.

“Of course.” You motioned for Bucky to come and didn’t bother to look at him because you knew you’d look away immediately. 

“Not gonna lie, I thought you were going to pick me doll.” When you said nothing, Bucky took a deep breath before stepping closer to you, his shoulder brushing your own and causing you to stop chewing on the candy.

“Hurt a man’s feelings darlin’, first you refuse my invitation then you choose Steve’s pumpkin over mine.”

“What invitation? I didn’t refuse your invitation!” You turned to face him and were surprised by how close he was.

“Yeah you did. I asked you weeks ago if you’d wanna come to this party but you said no. Then I asked Wanda to tell you and you still said no. Thank god she’s annoying when it comes to these things.” Bucky watched as realization dawned on your face, smiling when you shyly looked away from him.

“Y/N, look at me.” Bucky whispered, turning around to rest his elbow on the railing while trying to turn your chin towards him.

“N-no.” 

“Please.” His request was so quiet you almost didn’t hear him.

“You make me nervous Bucky.” You didn’t mean for those words to come out but once they did, you felt embarrassment wash over you.

“I don’t mean to. I swear I don’t.” He managed to turn you towards him, smiling down at you when he saw the little pout aimed at him.

“I really like you darlin’, and ‘ve been trying to talk to you for weeks but you just get so busy at work and I don’t mean to bother you when your shift is over. But...is this okay?” He leaned down and whispered those words against your cheek, making you shiver from the close proximity and his cologne.

“This- is m-more than okay.” You responded and Bucky didn’t give you a chance to say anything else, slowly capturing your lips with his and pulling you closer to him until you only felt him. His hands rested on your waist and when he saw you responding to his touches, he dared to grab your neck and push you aggressively to him.

“Goddamn, what’re you doing to me doll? It’s like you put a spell on me and I- shit, I can’t stop thinkin’ ‘bout you baby.” 

“I c-could ask you the same thing, especially with those glasses.” You laughed at his boyish grin, noticing the way his neck started to blush at your comment. “Well, you have to thank Wanda for that. She told me you liked men with glasses and I don’t need to wear them on a daily basis. But I could during halloween.”

It was your turn to blush, knowing you needed to both thank and kill Wanda when you saw her.

“Wanna have dinner with me?” Bucky asked, refusing to put any space between the two of you. 

“I would love that.” Almost immediately, you heard loud screams and swears coming from the door, looking past BUcky and watching as Steve took money from Tony while Natasha aggressively grabbed the fifty dollar bills from Clint and Sam.

“You just couldn’t wait till Christmas could you?” Sam yelled at Bucky before heading back inside and you couldn’t help but laugh at the happy and annoyed expression on everyone’s face.

“Good thing I listened to Wanda.”

[redhowitzer]

💌 question tag meme;

hiii i was tagged by @knjz for this and im Bored so im gonna mcfreakin go for it

1. It’s your birthday! What did you ask for and did you receive it?

i never ask for anything BUT i did receive bc i bought it for myself <3 i’m very impulsive so if i really want something i just buy it

2. What was the last song or album you listened to?

last song i listened to was pinball wizard by elton john!! was having a Bit of a throwback day yesterday. last full album i listened to (though it was unintentionally) was hamiltion

3. What is your go to snack when you’re hungry or bored?

cheez doodles are my shit <3

4. What is your morning routine?

tbh i don’t really have one? i wake up and sit on my phone for 2-3 hours and then from there decide if i want to stay in bed for a bit longer or get up and do something 

5. What mythical/cryptid creature would you be?

i think. i’d be a dragon. 1. they r cool 2. they guard what they deem treasure n im kinda possessive so. i guess i kinda do the same thing

6. How do you interact with somebody that you don’t like?

if it’s irl, i don’t really treat them any differently? i don’t like bad vibes so i don’t wanna create them so i typically try to keep the peace. but online if they text/dm/etc. i just won’t answer or answer in a way that makes it clear that i don’t want to talk HDKSDJ

7. How do you define a toxic person?

mm. like hannah said, someone who picks fights over nothing, someone who doesn’t root for u, someone who is all about themselves and what’s gonna benefit them without regard for others 

8. Have you ever been to a concert or fan meet type of event? If not, would you want to?

many many Many concerts!! i’ve seen 1d just about every time they were in town (missed them when they toured w/ BTR </3), saw harry a few shows, and a bunch of 5sos shows!! i pretty much go to any concert ppl ask me to go to just bc i love the vibe

9. Do you believe in astrology? Why or why not?

i do!! but i don’t think there’s one set way to be a sign though, if that makes sense? i think there’s qualities that each sign has but for the most part everyone kind of shows those characteristics differently. 

10. If you had only one sense (hearing, touch, sight, etc.), what would you want?

i’d keep my hearing!! i love music too much! and i also love listening to people talk so yeah i wouldn’t wanna lose those

11. Who is your favourite celebrity or idol?

mr harry styles <3

12. If you could talk to your favourite celebrity(s) for a limited time, what would you tell them?

honestly idk what i’d say to harry. like i’d want to just talk about how much i love him and whatever and thank him for shit he didn’t even know he did lmao but i know he’d be like please. anything else we can talk about anytHING ELSE so. maybe i’d talk to him about concerts and his idols and such

13. I’m taking you out on a date and it’s your choice. Where are we going?

tbh just a night in? i’m very much ok with spending the day/night inside and just talking and hanging out instead of going out somewhere that i’d probably be uncomfortable at anyway

14. Do you like sweet or savory foods?

oh man i def need a balance of both

15. Do you have any band merchandise or merchandise from any of your favourite artists? If so, what?

so much merch!!!!!!! i pretty much buy a tshirt every time i go to a concert, so i have tons of those! and ofc tons of harry stuff

+ i tag whoever read this far lmao

[missnxthingg]

Peter’s 18th Birthday - The Girl

Warnings: Endgame spoilers, even if I don’t feel like I should warn anyone anymore. Come on, it’s been two months. And also, a lot of cuteness as always.

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Words: 2040

AN: Close to the end, and I’m glad how much attention it received with only two chapters. And I’m only opening a taglist now, but if you wanna be tagged on the last chapter of this fanfic or any of my other imagines, please add yourself to this taglist.

CHAPTER ONE - THE LETTER | CHAPTER TWO - THE FAMILY

.....................................

“Y/N! What are you doing here?” Peter asked approaching the girl standing in front of him.

“May invited me, and frankly Pete, did you really think you were not going to invite me to your 18th birthday party?” She said, arching her eyebrows.

“I thought your were mad at me.” He said looking down to his shoes and she touched his cheek, caressing it with her thumb and making him look at her eyes.

“I understand now that you needed some time to put yourself back together, but you could have at least warned me before leaving to Europe for a month.” She said and he nodded.

“I’m really sorry, and I don’t even know how to apologize for not inviting you today.”

“It’s okay.” She smiled at him and he looked down to her suitcase, holding a gift box over it.

“What is it?” He asked curious about the medium-sized blue box with some details in red.

“Oh, I tried to make you something, it’s really nothing.” She took the gift in her hands, looking down to it and Peter smiled.

“You didn’t need to get me something. You’re the best gift you could ever give to me.” He blushed and she did too. So she gave him the box and he walked to the front porch and sat down at the bench. She sat next to him, fingers dancing around her skirt, until he held it and smiled at you. “Stop being so nervous about it.”

“How do you know I’m nervous?”

“I know you like the palm of my hand.” He said and she pushed him into opening the box. There were a bunch of chocolates and a shirt with a nerdy joke in it. But there was also a small notebook. A white one, with a big spider drawn at its cover. “Did you draw this?”

“Yes.” She said blushing and he sighed.

“It’s really good.”

So he opened it up to find a bunch of pages with lots of pictures and drawings in it. He knew how much she loved photography and drawing, but he couldn’t imagine how much time she spent doing all of that. It was all covered of pictures of the both of them, or just of Peter. Some of them he wasn’t even looking at the camera, and some of them, he was doing a funny face to her. But almost in all of those they were together, you could feel the heart eyes coming from both of them. There were also some pictures of Spiderman. Some she took while he was patrolling and she was resting at her building’s rooftop and taking some pictures and others were just from when he got home to see her. It always came with a small poem or phrase, or maybe a song lyric, and sometimes between some of her doodles. 

“Did you like it?” She asked and he gazed her with the look that always made her feel like home.

“It’s the most beautiful thing anyone has ever done to me.” He said and she hugged his arm and rested her head at his shoulder. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too Pete.”

They stayed in silence for a while. Peter’s fingers played with Y/N’s hands. She closed her eyes to feel the moment she craved to much for a while now. No matter how many time they would spend apart, or whatever they had a fight about, the moment they found each other’s arms, all was forgotten and suddenly okay. This happens since they were little kids playing at May’s apartment in Queens, and still happens to this very day. This was one of those times, and they wanted to take advantage of the time they didn’t see each other.

“How is your birthday so far?”

“Heartwarming, I guess. Pepper gave me his car.” He pointed the black car in front of them and Y/N smiled.

“It’s a nice one. You’re gonna take me in proper rides right now. Those who I won’t be scared of falling from your arms.” They laughed and she held him tighter.

“You’re right. I can be the nice guy with a car now.” He said and packed the gift again. Peter got up and offered Y/N his hand. “Come on.”

“Where are we going?”

“Somewhere private. I feel like people are coming very soon and I wanna have a moment with you.” So she took his hand and he drove her to his bedroom. It was a small and nice one, but still, Tony took the opportunity to make him a bedroom in case he’d come back.

“It’s nice in here.” She said and he pulled her to bed, lying on his chest while his arms where all around her body, cuddling and settling her into a comfortable hug.

“I needed a hug from you more than anything today.” He said, letting a tear drop again. “Oh, Y/N. It’s been so hard.”

“I know.” She said and felt his arms tight more around her. His chin rested on the top of her head and he just kept crying. “But he loves you Peter. Remember when May told us that day you couldn’t even get out of bed. She told us that he used to visit her a lot to make sure she was alright, and that she could also see the pain in his eyes. I’ve never met him, but I know for a fact that he died loving you, and he, somehow, still does.”

“How do you always know what I’m talking about?”

“I just know… And also, you look as down as you were back when you returned from the war.”

“He wrote me a letter.” He stroked her hair and she closed her eyes for a while, feeling his fingers slowly running through it. “Saying he was proud of me and wishing me a happy birthday. And while I was driving that car, I could feel his presence. Like, somehow I could hear him instructing me on how to drive the car. And all I wanted was to tell him one time that I love him.”

“He doesn’t need to hear you say it. He already knew it.” She said and cleaned a tear from his cheek.

“Anyway. I knew something was missing. I guess it was him, but it was also you. All I wished was that you were there to hold me while I was reading it.”

“I’m sorry for not being there.”

“You’re here now.” They stayed in silence for a couple of seconds. Peter left a bunch of kisses at the top of her head. “I’m sorry for going away Y/N, I really am. I didn’t mean to push myself away from you. And I’m sorry for leaving with MJ and Ned, also for not telling you I would. I’m sorry for also not being there when you turned into dust. I’m sorry for all of those times you were alone and I wasn’t there.”

“You don’t need to be sorry about anything. I should be the one apologizing for being so selfish. What kind of friend was I for not understanding that you needed space. I’m so sorry Pete.” She locked her eyes on his and he got her hair behind her ear.

“I don’t wanna go through this again, so I have to tell you something that I’ve been willing to tell you for a long time now. Like, since we met, I’ve felt this, but never told you such a thing. I love you, and I think it’s the most truthful love I’ve ever felt in my entire life. You’re the love of my life, and even if you don’t feel the same, if I lose you before even telling you all of this, I would never forgive myself.”

“You’re not losing me Peter. I’m gonna stay right here by your side, like I’ve always been, since day one, even when we were apart, even when we were dead. You’re my true love and I love you so much. And it hurts so bad to see you like this.”

She sat on bed, starting to feel the urge of crying to see him so bad. He also sat, facing her and did not waste one more second and kissed her. It’s been a long time since they last did it. Y/N remembers it like it happened yesterday. She kept replaying it on her head every night he was away. He stood on her firescape, holding her waist close to his while she played with his face. He was kissing her goodbye, before he left to his own bedroom to stay there and demolish himself in sadness. They had a fight that night, but once they were in each other’s arms, everything was fine again for a while. That kiss was painful. This one is loving. It heated their frozen hearts in a few seconds, till they melted again. His hands explored her back and her fingers rolled on his curls, trying to pull him closer, if that was possible somehow. When they went out of air, they just glued their foreheads, mixing breaths and sharing smiles.

“Are you alright, love?” She asked and he kissed you again.

“I’m always alright when I’m with you.”  She smiled and brushed her lips on his.

“You have to be the nicest guy in the universe.”

“I guess I am, darling.” He kissed her again for a short period of time. “I love you, thank you for being here.”

“I love you too Pete.” She kissed him again, this time non-stop. They didn’t feel like it anyway.

He laid her in his bed and got on top of her. They were killing whatever was killing them, that odd feeling of sadness now fulfilled with love and happiness. They could only feel each other in that moment, until Peter felt something else. Someone touching his legs, who could not be Y/N, since she had both hands on his hair.

“Pete?” A kid voice asked and he quickly pushed Y/N away.

“Morgan, hi. What have I told you about knocking?” He asked sitting down at the bed and pulling the little girl to sit at his lap.

“I knocked, you didn’t respond. Aunt May is looking for you.”

“Tell her I’m with Y/N and that I’m coming.” Peter told her and she looked at the girl sat by his side.

“Is that Y/N?” Morgan asked and Peter nodded, agreeing with the girl. “Is she your girlfriend?”

“I don’t know. Would you be happy if she was my girlfriend?”

“Yes, she’s pretty.” Morgan replied and Y/N smiled at her. “Hi, I’m Morgan Stark. I’m Peter’s sister.”

“Hey Morgan, I’m Y/N Y/L/N. It’s very nice to meet you.”

“Are you Pete’s girlfriend?” She asked and Y/N looked at him smiling.

“Only if he wants to.” She said and Morgan looked at the boy that was holding her.

“I’ve never wanted something so much like this.” He smiled at her and she opened her smile even more. “Mo, go ahead and tell May I’m coming. It will only take a couple of more minutes, okay?”

“Don’t keep her waiting. And also, I wanna swim at the lake today.” Morgan said getting out of his laps and directing herself to the door.

“I will Mo, I promised.” He closed the door behind her and Y/N came to hug him from behind. 

“I was being serious.” She said and he turned to face her.

“So was I. But I wanted to ask you in a special way.” He said and she slightly laughed.

“This was way too special for me.” He kissed her again, feeling the warmth travel through both of their bodies. “Now let’s go, or May’s gonna kill both of us.”

“Yeah, I don’t wanna end up like that.” She said and held his hand.

“Ready to meet the family?” He asked and she kissed him one last time.

“Of course I am.”

“Could you please stop kissing me? I have to concentrate, damn.” He said making you both laugh.

“Oh, we’re gonna have so much fun Parker.”

[otterlydeerlightful]

LazyTown Ship Week #1

Oops I’m late! Oh well. Here’s Day #1: Plants/Gardening. Alternate prompt: The start of something wonderful :P

--------------------------------------------------------

The soon-to-be class garden was coming along well. Though not yet in the designated garden space waiting outside, the children had been caring for their little seedlings dutifully every day. They checked on them in the morning when they arrived to school and once again before heading home at the end of the day. One little boy, Íþrótta, was particularly excited about the project. He doted on his sprouts as though they were his children, and he took incredible joy in seeing their slow but sure progress every day.

“It’s like he uses magic on ‘em or somethin’,” one of the other children grumbled under his breath as he gathered up his things to go home.

The boy, Glanni, was probably the only student in the class who did not care for their gardening project. The entire thing felt like just too much work for, in his mind, a worthless payoff. Glanni had only been doing the bare minimum to try and keep his plants alive just so the teacher wouldn’t scold him. Which was why, watching the other boy tend to his seedlings day after day, Glanni just couldn’t understand why Íþrótta was so engaged in taking care of the stupid things. They were just dumb plants.

Even so, Glanni couldn’t deny the attention that Íþrótta’s sprouts seemed to generate. Their classmates marveled at his work and asked for tips, and the teacher praised the child’s green thumb. No one ever complimented anything Glanni did. Usually he just got in trouble or, worse, was left forgotten and ignored altogether. It wasn’t fair. Just because Íþrótta was a plant-obsessed weirdo didn’t mean he deserved all the attention.

He watched as his classmate finally turned away from his precious little seedlings to grab his backpack to head home. Glanni glared a hole into the back of the blond’s head as Íþrótta skipped out the door to greet whatever parental figure was probably waiting for him.

Glanni stuck his tongue out after his classmate before taking a quick glance around the room to make sure the teacher was busy helping someone else get ready to leave. He reached into his backpack, fishing around for a moment before slyly pulling out the small bottle of contraband soda. Careful to keep it out of view, Glanni crept over to the row of little boxes basking in the sunlight by the window.

“See if stupid Íþrótta has such a green thumb if his plants drink this,” he hissed quietly, tipping the bottle and letting the sugary drink sink into the soil.

The sound of his teacher’s voice out in the hallway made him pull back quickly, a few drops of soda sprinkling over the shelf before he quickly recapped the bottle and stowed it away and out of sight. With a confident smirk. Glanni slung his bag over his shoulder and scampered out of the room.

*****

The next morning, Glanni walked in to find a small cluster of his classmates huddled by the temporary garden. He smiled to himself, strolling over to reap the rewards of yesterday’s mischief. He gleefully imagined what Íþrótta’s face would look like upon seeing his sprouts…shock, awe, anger, disbelief. Any of them would have been hilarious to see. What he had not expected to find, though, was Íþrótta’s look of utter devastation.

The little blond boy stared at the shriveled, wilted plants with wet eyes, his chin quivering as he held out his hands toward the discolored seedlings as though he was trying to figure out some way to help them. A soft whimper escaped the child’s throat as he stood there, oblivious to the small crowd that had grown around him.

Glanni scratched the back of his neck, suddenly not feeling near as excited as he had moments ago. He heard the teacher approach and offer soft words of condolences, but they just seemed to make things worse. The dark-haired back cringed as Íþrótta began to sniffle, new tears sliding down the already-present tracks on his cheeks. Glanni chewed the inside of his cheek and sluggishly obeyed their teacher’s instruction for everyone to return to their seats. Íþrótta didn’t, and Glanni couldn’t help but stare as the teacher ushered him toward the classroom door and out into the hallway.

He spared the dead seedlings another glance, the tiny things no longer green and vibrant, but mere darkened husks sticking out of the dirt. He had done that. Glanni had hoped to teach Íþrótta a lesson, but for what? He had only wanted to knock down the boy’s pride down a bit, right? He hadn’t meant to…to destroy him. Just because he wanted to cause a little bit of mischief didn’t mean he had wanted to hurt anyone, even a goodie two-shoes like Íþrótta.

Glanni looked up when the other boy came back into the room. Íþrótta’s eyes were red and puffy, and the usual pep in his step—usually his most defining trait—was completely gone. Glanni watched him slide into his seat and stare at his desk as their teacher began her lessons for the day, but he didn’t hear a word. He was pretty sure Íþrótta wasn’t listening either.

Although Glanni rarely paid much attention in class, today was different. He had really screwed up and needed to fix it. With another glance over at the seedlings by the window, he started to come up with a plan to do just that. It wasn’t a very good one, but he felt so rotten after seeing how much he had hurt the other boy, Glanni knew that he had to try.

Recess somehow managed to take even longer than usual to arrive that day, which was definitely saying something as far as Glanni was concerned. He normally stayed behind, never one to be too keen on running around the playground to get messy and made fun of for being bad at sports, so when Glanni hung back while all the other children made a mad dash for the door, his teacher thought nothing of it.

He grabbed Íþrótta’s box of sad, wilted plants, tucked it under his arm, and hurried toward the back of the room, swiping a second box from the sill along the way. He set up shop out of sight in the corner, determined to make this work whether or not his teacher decided to come back inside before recess was finished or not. Glanni dug out the seedlings he had destroyed, tossing them and much of the contaminated soil in the nearby garbage can. He then, carefully, selected and transplanted the best-looking plants from the second box into the first. In direct competition of how he had always treated his project plants before today, Glanni picked up each of the little sprouts with the utmost care, determined not to damage a single root or leaf at any time during the process.

He worked quickly, and the scruffy-haired child finished just in time. No sooner had he set the boxes back in their places and tucked a slip of paper next to Íþrótta’s partially restored crop than the first of the children began to file back into the room. He hurried to his chair and sprawled across his desk in an attempt to look like he may have been taking a nap in lieu of going out to play with everyone else. Íþrótta soon followed the rest of their classmates, looking as dejected as he had that morning. Glanni held his breath as he watched the other boy’s movements, biting his lip when Íþrótta came to a stand-still upon seeing the line of plants by the window. Glanni buried his face into his arms to hide his smile as he watched an amazed, toothy grin spread over the other little boy’s face. He looked away, forcing himself to ignore Íþrótta from that point on. He didn’t dare give himself away.

The rest of the day was a bore, and Glanni spent most of the time doodling in his notebook instead of paying attention to their lessons. The end of the day eventually came and, like clockwork, Íþrótta went over to tend to his plants. His new plants. Glanni tried to ignore the boy as best he could, though he did end up sneaking a few quick glances out of the corner of his eye as he gathered up his things.

“Glanni?”

The child jumped, yelping at the sound of a suddenly too-close Íþrótta who had walked up behind him. He spun around with wide eyes.

“What?” he demanded a bit sharply, if only from momentary panic.

Íþrótta took a step back to give his classmate some space. He swallowed, wringing something in his hands a moment before speaking up again. “I…wanted to say thank you.”

The mischief-maker frowned. “F-for what?”

The blond boy offered a soft smile and held out the small note to his peer. Glanni didn’t need to look at it to know what it said, written in messy, angular handwriting. Sorry I killed your plants.

“For giving me some of your plants.”

Glanni’s heart dropped into his stomach, and his face paled to reflect it. Íþrótta just stood there with that same, warm expression.

“I didn’t—I mean! Uh…” The child’s mind scrambled to try and come up with a believable deflection. “What are you talking about?”

Íþrótta gave a brief look back toward all of the little boxes at the window. “Yours is the only box that’s missing anything.”

Glanni let out a small squeak, eyes immediately widening at his obvious oversight.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Íþrótta continued. “I…don’t know why you did it in the first place, but…thanks for sharing your plants with me.”

The trouble-maker shrugged and looked away, unsure how to react to his classmate’s attitude. This was supposed to be where Glanni got yelled out, ratted out, maybe even hit. Instead, Íþrótta just seemed…happy.

“You…wanna be friends?”

Frowning again, Glanni looked back to Íþrótta, completely puzzled. “What?”

“Do you want to be friends?” Íþrótta repeated. “I know you get in trouble a lot, but…that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends together. Right?”

Glanni stared at the strange, blond boy. Friends? Glanni had never had a friend before. A friend might be…nice. Though he knew he shouldn’t, the little boy found himself nodding. The smile that spread across Íþrótta’s face made a strange warmth bloom in his chest and, despite himself, Glanni couldn’t help but find himself also smiling at the prospect.

“…Okay.”

Íþrótta laughed, jumping and happily spinning at the news, his usual energy back to normal. “Great! Friends, then!”

Íþrótta held out his hand and Glanni found himself taking it, getting up from his desk.

“S-sorry my plants are kind of stinky…I didn’t take very good care of them.”

“That’s okay!” his new friend assured him. “We can take care of them together so they can grow and they’ll get better in no time!”

Glanni smiled. Yeah…better in no time. Maybe gardening was worth something after all.

[jaemtens]

Rescue (Chapter 6)

seventeen | junhao | side meanie / vernkwan | chapter 6 of 10 | 24.4k

tumblr links: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 ao3 links: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

written with @rendawnie | updates every saturday morning

summary:  When Soonyoung finally “agrees” to let Junhui get a dog for their apartment, he realizes that he needed something a little bit more than a puppy. Enter Minghao, the bona fide Bad Boy™ with tattoos and piercings. Oh, and he doodles puppies and kittens in their Probability and Confirmation class.

chapter 6: dino

“Okay Dokyeom!” Dino announced, pulling out one of his class notebooks and setting it on Dokyoem’s desk. “It’s time to go over our plan for Operation Make Minghao Smile.”

Dokyeom was leaning back in “his” office chair in “his” cramped office. Spoilers: it wasn’t really his office (or his chair), he just pretended it was when the vet wasn’t there to, you know, care. Not that Dino would ever use this info against Dokyeom.

“Do we really need an operation name, Dino?” Dokyeom nervously scratched his head, his messy brown hair getting even messier. Dino had picked up on all sorts of Dokyeom nervous ticks, but this one was his most obvious; he knew he could charm his way into getting Dokyeom to help him out.

“Of course we do! ” Dino loudly retorted. “We need to have a codename to talk about our mission when Hao-hao’s around.”

Dokyeom paused for a moment. He was shooting Dino a puzzled look, like he still wasn’t quite on board despite Dino’s complete and unwavering conviction for codenames and missions and everything else covert. What wasn’t there to like about operation names? It was cool! Dokyeom was such a party-pooper sometimes.

“Okay… but… how does saying Operation Make Minghao Smile, like, not tell Minghao exactly what the goal of our Operation is.”

“It doesn’t because we’re going to have a codename for our codename, silly.”

Dokyeom sighed, leaning back in his chair even farther. The chair audibly creaked, though Dokyeom didn’t seem to mind much. “And what’s the codename for our codename?”

“Operation Mimosa, duh.”

Dokyeom raised an eyebrow in response. “I’m not even going to ask--”

“--Well, since you asked,” Dino interjected, “If you make an acronym from ‘Make Minghao Smile,’ it comes out to MMS, which you can sound out to make mimosa.”

His boss seemed to be deep in thought, as if he were trying to work out Dino’s logic in his head. Meanwhile, Dino just sat there expectantly, waiting for Dokyeom to realize his brilliance. Everybody always seemed so surprised when he said something even somewhat intelligent.

“That… That’s actually pretty clever,” Dokyeom finally replied. Dino: 1, Dokyeom: 0.

“And we can celebrate with mimosas after it works!”

“Don’t push it,” Dokyeom muttered, earning an immediate frown from Dino. “Why do we even wanna make Minghao smile?”

Dino frowned even more. How could Dokyeom, like, not have noticed? Was it not completely obvious to everyone in the whole wide world? Ever since the whole Junhui thing, Minghao was practically a ghost of his previous bad-boy self.

“Have you been living under a rock for the past few weeks, Dokyeom?”

“Um, well, actually--”

“--Yeah yeah yeah, you’ve been busy with whatever it is Dokyeoms go off and do,” Dino dismissively interrupted, watching as Dokyeom made a face. “Let me just remind you why Minghao hasn’t been himself.”

Dokyeom leaned back even farther in his chair. Dino was like 99% sure he was going to fall over.

“First, Minghao’s stopped talking.”

“Um, did he ever really talk much to begin with?”

“Yes!” Dino fiercely answered, leaning forward in his seat and staring directly at Dokyeom. “Minghao may not be the most talkative person ever, but he used to at least say more than ‘Hi’ and ‘Thanks’ or whatever. Now I’m lucky to get a grunt for yes out of him. Maybe he didn’t say much to you, but he used to talk to me all the time. Things like ‘Why don’t you go eat the cat litter, Dino,’ or ‘How’s the weather down there, Dino,’ or ‘Did you actually eat the cat litter today, Dino.’ Now he doesn’t say anything like that!”

Dokyeom leaned back a little farther until he actually almost fell out of his chair, catching himself before outright disaster. Dino repressed his desire to laugh out loud; Operation Mimosa was more important. Pretending like nothing happened, Dokyeom pivoted to his response:

“Aaaand that’s a bad thing how?”

Dino basically erupted, flying out of his seat and onto his feet in a passionate defense for Minghao. “Don’t you see a problem here!? Minghao used to care about me, that’s why he used to say those things. It was Minghao’s way of connecting with me -- his own sardonic, melodramatic, ridiculous way! But you know what? He owned it, and I loved it. Now he can’t even bring himself to be, well, himself!”

Dino sat back down again, collecting himself.

“And that brings me to number two: Minghao doesn’t seem to care about anything anymore.”

Dino sighed.

“Me included.”

“I’m sure it’s not just you.”

“It’s not, Dokyeom. It’s everything. You may not notice because you spend all your time doing paperwork and check-ups, but Minghao has been really reserved. Mellow. Like, even around the rescues, he doesn’t act like his usual self. Even around me, he doesn’t act like his usual self. And maybe I’m not his favorite person right now, but he always loves the rescues. You know Joshua Hong?”

Dokyeom made a face, as if he were deep in thought.

“Cute? Reddish-pink hair?” Dino prodded.

“Um, I don’t think so.”

“Joshua is his tutor for a few of his classes. Anyways, so he dropped by the shelter yesterday. Apparently Hao hasn’t been going to any of their tutoring sessions. He used to religiously go, Dokyeom. Like he made me cover his shift here once so he could go to his tutoring appointment with Joshua!”

Dokyeom frowned.

“Yeah, I covered for him! The point is that he used to genuinely care about doing well in his classes. But now I think he doesn’t even care about that. Or here. Or me. He’s down in the dumps, Dokyeom.”

Dino sighed again, fidgeting with the pen in his hand. “Third, Hao hasn’t been eating.”

Dokyeom frowned again. This time, Dino could tell it was less of a disapproving frown and more of a concerned frown.

“Are you su--”

“--Yes.”

“Hmmph,” Dokyeom replied. “I mean, he usually didn’t eat a lot, so--”

“But this is different, Dokyeom,” Dino insisted. He was slightly exasperated thinking about it, but he had to tell Dokyeom. “He used to eat most things I brought him. Now he won’t even look at it. He won’t even bring his own food either.”

Dokyeom pursed his lips. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yes, okay . Operation… Mimosa, or whatever, is a go.”

Finally, some progress! He had been telling Dokyeom about Operation Mimosa for the past few days, but Dokyeom kept waving him off. Now he knew he had his boss’s timid support, and that was more than he expected, to be honest. Meanwhile, Dokyeom shook his head, wondering just what he had gotten himself into.

“So here’s the plan,” Dino started, “I told Mull8 th--”

“--Wait wait wait.‘Mull8’ ? Did I hear that right?”

“Yeah, Mull8! That’s our codename for the target, Hao-hao.”

“Why? ” Dokyeom spat out.

“Do you remember back when he had that mullet for a few months? And his favorite number is eight, so, Mull8!”

Dokyeom buried his face in his palms. “Oh my go--”

“--I’m Agent Ramyum and you’re Agent Buttercup!”

“I regret agreeing to this so much.”

“This is important, Agent Buttercup,”

“If it’s so important did you really have to name me after a My Little Pony character!?”

“Are you trying to say you’re not a Buttercup?”

“I definitely am not!”

“Besides, I only named you Agent Buttercup because of Hansol’s chinchilla.”

Dino wasn’t going to lie; he secretly loved it every time Dokyeom was rendered completely and totally speechless. Like right now. There was something oddly satisfying about being so extra that people just didn’t know how to react. Especially people who were so slow to pick up on jokes, like Dokyeom.

“Anyways, so where was I?” Dino continued, pausing to remind himself what he was talking about. “Oh yeah, Mull8. So I told Mull8 to drop by after his class. I mentioned that he forgot something here.”

“Well? Did he?”

Dino looked away and quietly replied: “Not really…”

Dokyeom raised one of his eyebrows.

“Okay, well, he forgot about being best friends with me.”

“Aww, Dino,” his boss replied, making a sad face.

“It’s okay, though! This is why we have Operation Mimosa! Like I was saying, I’m going to lure Mull8 here, and then force him to come over to my apartment. I’ll say that I must have taken his thing home with me or whatever. Once we get there, your job, Agent Buttercup, is to block the door so that he can’t leave. I’m going to explain to Mull8 that this is an intervention, that we’re getting him a one-way ticket out of Mopeville.”

“Oh my god.”

“So, right now, I have enough popcorn to feed a small village, three really cheesy movies that I picked out on Netflix, and enough blankets to make at least 17 blanket forts. Oh, and some hair bleach.”

“Hair bleach? … Why?”

“New hair, new Hao, new boy crush. Duh.”

“Uh huh,” Dokyeom half-agreed. “Speaking of new boy crush… what exactly happened with old boy crush again?”

Oh, yeah. That.

“Well, um, honestly, I don’t know if Hao-hao is over Junhui. If I know anything about him, it’s that he’s probably out there beating himself up over yelling at me in front of his crush. He’s probably trying to get over his crush, but, like, can’t.”

Dokyeom just nodded. Dino decided to let the silence settle between the two of them, something he usually didn’t do. He really didn’t like thinking about what Minghao said to him. It hurt, you know? Minghao was one of his closest friends, and for him to say all of those things… even if he didn’t mean them...

“Yeah,” Dokyeom finally blurted out, “You sounded really upset when you called me after that whole… thing.”

“I know and I’m so so sorry I had to close down early after that, I know I was supposed to work til closing and I know it’s my job to take care of everything during my shift because you know that’s why you let me work here and I really let you down and I’m just so sorry and ups--”

“--Dino, it’s okay,” his boss interrupted. Dino looked up, and Dokyeom was looking back at him all concerned and stuff. His words and his expression were completely earnest. He forgot Dokyeom could be like that, and it made him feel so… relieved, that Dokyeom wasn’t like your normal boss.

“You were going through some things, and I get it. It’s also Minghao’s fault for walking out on you.”

“I know.”

“Dino, you did good, you focused on helping Junhui and then you called me. You did what you could do.”

“I -- I know,” Dino choked out.

“And…” Dokyeom started. “Well, I hate to ask this, but, like, why are you even trying to make Minghao happy again after he made you cry like that? After he said all of those mean things?”

“Because he’s my best friend, and he was having a bad day.”

*

“Dino.”

“Hao-hao.”

“Where’s my homework.”

To be honest, Dino wasn’t entirely sure that he was going to make it this far. He was 95% confident that Dokyeom was going to blow their cover at some point and/or that Minghao was going to catch on to what was going on. But, to his surprise, Dokyeom kept it together, and Minghao was oblivious. Dino had managed to convince Minghao that, yes, he had actually forgotten a piece of homework. And, yes, in a stroke of bad luck and bad forethought, Dino accidentally brought it home to his apartment. Furthermore, Dino was absolutely sure that it was due tomorrow because he remembered seeing a date on the assignment. Oh, and Dokyeom had decided to tag along for no particular reason. Minghao bought all of it. Bad boy? More like gullible boy. Not that Dino would ever say something that salacious to Hao-hao’s face. And, you know, risk death.

But, now that Minghao was actually in his apartment, the ruse was about to fall apart. Dino hadn’t really planned for how Minghao might react. Was he going to get angry? Was he going to try to leave? Was he going to chew him out again? Dino looked over Minghao’s shoulder and saw a very concerned Dokyeom. Dino quickly motioned toward the door, and Dokyoem got the signal -- block the door so that Minghao couldn’t leave. Agent Buttercup slowly moved into position.

“Dino,” Minghao sternly repeated. He was practically glowering at him, sullen eyes boring through Dino’s purest of intentions. Minghao was definitely not happy.

“Um,” Dino started, trying to think of words -- any words -- that might be able to convince Minghao to stay.

“I didn’t forget my homework, did I?”

Minghao was really glaring at him now. Dino kept wracking his brain, begging himself to come up with something, anything, to keep Minghao here. It’s like his brain was molasses, not a single coherent sentence or an iota of logical thought reaching him.

“And you didn’t bring it here, did you?”

Dino looked over Minghao’s shoulder again, his eyes pleading with Dokyeom to help him. Dokyeom just shrugged, looking equally as clueless and not-helpful as Dino’s brain. Note to self: write in Agent Buttercup’s performance eval that he’s not good at thinking on his feet.

“You don’t even know if I have homework due tomorrow, do you?”

Note to self #2: Agent Ramyun is also not good at thinking on his feet.

His friend rolled his eyes and sighed disapprovingly before turning around to leave. Minghao was moving quickly, but he stopped just in front of the door -- Dokyeom was blocking his exit. Dino could see Dokyeom’s eyes focus, like he had already prepared for Dino’s incompetence, like he had been steeling himself for this Minghao confrontation. It wasn’t like that was entirely surprising: Dokyeom probably had contingency plans for Dino throughout the shelter, Agent Ramyum just didn’t know about them. For instance, there probably was a plan B for when Dino accidentally adopted out the wrong pet to someone, which he almost did last week.

“So you’re in on this, too,” Minghao dryly said. It wasn’t really a question, like Minghao was totally disinterested in whatever Dokyeom decided to say in response.

“C’mon Hao, just listen to Dino,” Dokyeom calmly started, “He’s your best friend. Do you really think he’d plan all of this if it wasn’t important?”

“Oh, I’m sure he’d do something this stupid.”

Dino couldn’t see Minghao’s face, but he was sure it was expressionless, devoid of any feeling. Just like how he’d been for the past few weeks. Dokyeom, meanwhile, narrowed his eyes, basically glaring at Minghao.

“Hao,” Dokyeom replied, clearly agitated that Minghao was so openly dissing him. It wasn’t like his normal disses -- Minghao fully meant what he said, it wasn’t sarcastic or harmless teasing.

Minghao grunted, turning around to face Dino. His now-obvious annoyed expression definitely confirmed Dino’s suspicions: Minghao was not happy.

“So, um, I know the thing with Junhui a few weeks ago sucked.” Minghao’s expression soured even more; honestly, Dino didn’t think it was possible. “And I know I was partly to blame for making fun of you, and I’m really really sorry. I don’t think you meant what you said, but, um, I won’t lie. It hurt my feelings a lot.”

“And you didn’t mean to hurt his feelings, right? ” Dokyoem interjected.

“Even if you say you did, I wouldn’t believe you,” Dino replied before Minghao could open his mouth. “Either way, all I know is that you haven’t been yourself the past few weeks, Hao-hao. And you can try to say that ‘This is who I really am’ or whatever, Hao, but I still wouldn’t believe you. You’re not like this. You’re not boring. You’re not dismissive. You’re not someone who just drags themselves from place to place. I know you, Hao. You care a lot about your classes, you go to your tutoring sessions, you like doodling animals and dancing, you volunteer in the shelter because damnit Hao you love those rescues. And you say you tolerate me but I know you consider me a friend.”

Minghao looked away. His expression was softening, like Dino was getting through to him.

“And you can say whatever you want to try to deny that, but I know it’s true. I know it because you’re one of my best friends, Hao. You’re like a big brother to me.”

His friend looked back at him, his eyes wide.

“I wanted you to come over because I want you to feel better, Hao-hao. I want you to stop being so mopey, goddamnit! So I dragged Dokyeom into this, and… and we’re going to hang out tonight because you need to be reminded that you have friends that care a lot about you.”

“I know you care,” Minghao softly replied, looking away again. It was one of Dino’s favorite things about Minghao -- how ridiculously shy he got when his true feelings finally peeked through.

“Yeah, well I’m going to have to prove it to you, Hao-hao! So we’re going to watch cheesy Netflix movies, eat so much popcorn that we’ll get sick, hide in blanket forts on the couch, and we’re gonna bleach your hair,” Dino finished, holding up a bag of hair bleach.

“Wait, what,” Dokyeom piped up. Apparently he had forgotten about that part.

“I am not letting you bleach my hair,” Minghao insisted.

Dino just smiled knowingly.

*

“I’m going to help Dokyeom out in the back, Dino. You’ll be alright out front?”

Dino looked back at his friend, who was hovering in the open doorway heading to the exam room. Hansol had come in with Buttercup -- again -- and this time he brought along his boyfriend Seungkwan, who seemed to be even more of a hyperactive hypochondriac than Hansol. Hence the need for reinforcements; Dokyeom couldn’t deal with Hansol and Seungkwan breathing down his neck about their chinchilla’s mysterious “lethargy.”

Did anybody ever try telling them that maybe they had a lazy chinchilla?

“Dino?”

“Oh, yeah, I’ll be fine,” Dino said, smiling a little too much. He flashed an enthusiastic thumbs-up at Minghao who 100% definitely had bleach-blonde ramen-colored hair.

Minghao shot him a weird look, like Dino was the one who had bleached hair.

After his friend closed the door to the exam room, Dino chuckled to himself: Minghao was such a pushover. It took not even five minutes of pestering for black-haired Hao to buckle, giving into Dino’s puppy eyes. It was the “older brother” thing to do, Dino insisted. He loved every second of it -- if Minghao had been one of those Kpop idols or whatever, Dino stanned soft Hao-hao. He was just so cute.

And a pushover.

Minghao never really did apologize for three weeks ago. He didn’t have to, though. At least not verbally. Dino knew Minghao, and he knew that words were not his thing. No, Dino knew that Minghao was sorry when Minghao brought him a burrito yesterday. A burrito! Minghao doesn’t even buy burritos for himself. His friend gave it to him wordlessly with a small smile. It was cute.

Yet, despite the Operation Mimosa’s complete and resounding success, something was still off. Minghao was better, but Dino could tell something was off. He was still quiet. Reserved. Dino had a hunch it was about Junhui.

Dino heard the door open, perking up to see who it was.

Oh shit.

“Oh hey Dino.”

Oh shit oh shit oh shit.

Dino recognized that lilt in his voice, and he knew Minghao would too if he heard him, if he heard Junhui. Meanwhile, Junhui seemed completely oblivious to his role as Minghao’s #1 problem right now. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have come here, Dino reasoned.

“Oh, um, hi Junhui,” Dino choked out, trying to keep his voice quiet-ish. He needed to get Junhui out of here before Minghao finished up in the back and before Junhui figured out that Minghao was here. Dino ran one of his hands through his dyed brown hair, pushing it back. He wasn’t good at thinking on his feet, how was he going to pull this off?

“So, um, how can I help you?”

“Oh, I --” Junhui started, stopping mid-sentence without much explanation. “I was just in the neighborhood with Lilli and figured I’d stop by?”

Junhui looked down at Lilli, and the little sausage pup was excitedly wagging her tail in response. Damnit, it was so cute; Lilli had a pastel pink collar now, and it looked like Junhui was walking her using a pink leash with flowers on it. She seemed to recognize this place, too, wagging her tail even more when she noticed him at the front desk. Oh my god, he wanted to pet her so badly. Instead, Dino nervously laughed like an idiot. He really wasn’t good at this thinking-on-your-feet thing.

“It’s nice of you to visit!” he finally responded. Dino was trying his best to keep his responses short, hoping that Junhui would leave.

“I actually had a few questions, too.” Junhui shifted his weight, watching Dino carefully. “You know, about puppy training.”

“Um, well, actually --”

“I mean, if you’re busy, I could wait and ask Minghao or something?”

Abort, abort, abort!

“No-no-no, you can totally ask me, I know a lot about puppies!” Dino exclaimed... anything to avoid another Junhui-Minghao interaction -- another disaster. “Besides, Hao-hao’s busy right now.”

“Oh, so he’s here?” Junhui piped up.

Shit.

“Uh, yeah,” Dino admitted, silently berating himself for being such a dumbass. “But he won’t be done in the examination room for, like, hours.” And with Seungkwan and Hansol, that might actually be true.

“He’s in the examination room?” Junhui looked back at the door behind Dino, the door that said ‘Examination Room’ in big, bold letters.

Shit!

Dino just about wanted to light himself on fire right now.

“Yeah, but it’ll be a really long appointment! So you should just ask me your questions.” And maybe forget about Minghao .

“Okay. And then maybe Minghao can examine me.”

What? Dino cocked an eyebrow, and Jun’s eyes grew super wide in embarrassment.

“I meant ‘my Lilli,’ sorry,” Junhui added. “Sometimes I, um, forget how to talk.”

“Uh huh.”

“It usually happens around Minghao for some reason…” Jun explained.

What was going on with Junhui? Last time he visited, he was pretty calm and collected; he wasn’t really flirting, but he also wasn’t really not flirting. Little things here and there made Dino wonder if Junhui really liked Minghao. But this week basically confirmed it. Who the hell forgets how to talk about one of their random classmates? No, Junhui probably liked Minghao.

Buuuuuut, Minghao definitely would not want to see Junhui right now. Dino had to stick to his plan: he had to get Junhui out of here ASAP so that he could avoid another catastrophe.

“O… kay,” Dino slowly enunciated, confusion spilling out into his voice. “So you had some questions?”

“Oh, um, yeah! I actually have a list.”

Dino watched as Junhui pulled out a neatly-folded piece of paper from his pocket and started unfolding it. He could feel his soul leaving his body as Junhui kept unfolding it and unfolding it until it was a full-sized lined piece of notebook paper with Junhui’s neat and tiny handwriting filling up each line with questions. Lilli kept trying to get Junhui’s attention, resting her front paws on his shins while her hind paws were on the ground. Junhui finally acquiesced, picking her up with his free hand.

“Um…” Dino demurred.

“Oh, uh, these aren’t all questions!” Junhui replied, laughing a little at Dino’s shocked response. “I have some other random notes here. Mostly because Lilli here is so… special.”

Of course he had a list. Of course Minghao would fall for the cute studious boy who makes disorganized lists and has a lilt in his voice. It all was starting to make sense now.

“Um, I can really just wait for Minghao if you want? It’s no big deal.”

Apparently Dino hadn’t changed his expression at all. “No, um, I can just answer your questions quickly? Yeah, that’s what I’ll do.”

Before Dino could mentally (and maybe physically) facepalm at himself for stupidly thinking out loud, a loud shriek cut through the building.

“OW!”

Oh shit, that was definitely Minghao’s voice, and it definitely came from the examination room.

“Is Minghao alright?” Junhui asked, putting Lilli down.

“Um, I’m sure he’s fine,” Dino answered, looking back toward the examination room. “He probably just hurt himself, he’s good at doing that.”

“Oh.” Junhui had this fond smile plastered on his face, the smile he usually had when he was looking at Lilli. Shit, did he make Junhui like Minghao even more?

Before Dino could even begin to answer Junhui’s first question, the door to the examination room burst open. Seungkwan and Hansol led the way with Hansol carrying the small pet carrier again. The first thing he heard, though, was Minghao’s shrill, nasally voice, which was really goddamn loud.

“I can’t believe their chinchilla bit me!”

Oh, so Minghao didn’t actually hurt himself this time.

“Seungkwannie, can chinchillas get diseases from humans?” Hansol quietly asked his boyfriend, who seemed frustrated with the whole ordeal.

“How am I supposed to know, Hansol? I’m studying to be a human doctor -- do you really think I have time for veterinary classes on top of Advanced Organic Chemistry, Physical Inorganic Chemistry, Ethics and Medicine, and Cell Biology for Pre-Medical Majors? Not to mention all the time I have to spend shadowing doctors and volunteering at hospitals and doing non-acaedmic extracurriculars.”

“I know you’re very busy, babe,” Hansol softly responded. “I was just asking because you’re so smart.”

God, Dino wanted to gag so badly right now.

Meanwhile, Seungkwan smiled ever-so-slightly, his chronically stressed facial features softening a bit. “We should just wait for the vet like Dokyeom said. I’m sure Buttercup will be okay til then.”

“Seungkwan?” Junhui piped up. “What -- I’m so confused. How did you beat me here?”

“Oh hey Junhui. My beau drove us here,” Seungkwan replied, looking up at his boyfriend fondly.

“No, you’re my Boo,” Hansol added, not missing a beat.

Dino actually started gagging this time, earning a mixture of concerned and annoyed looks from the small audience that was gathering in the front. Dino felt bad, but their PDA was just so… gross . Nothing like the soft flirty heart eyes Minghao made for Junhui a few weeks ago.

“Oh it’s nice to meet you,” Junhui answered after Dino was done externally dying. To be perfectly clear, he was still internally dying.

“Oh, yeah!” Seungkwan jumped in. “Hansol, this is Jun. Jun, this is Hansol, my boyfriend.”

“Like we couldn’t tell,” Dino butted in, earning a dark look from Seungkwan. Hansol nodded at Junhui while Junhui smiled.

“And this is Lilli!” Junhui added, motioning toward his puppy.

Hansol nodded again, seemingly not impressed by the literal ball of cuteness standing next to Junhui.

“I’m sorry, he’s scared of dogs,” Seungkwan explained.

“Oh.” Junhui seemed a little disappointed by that, and, honestly, Dino was too: who doesn’t like dogs? “Um, random question, but is Minghao back there?”

“Yeah,” Hansol answered. “You know Minghao?”

Junhui seemed a little taken aback by that totally normal question. “Um, well, yeah, you see, w-we’re--”

“--Oh my god, you like him,” Seungkwan interrupted, a big smile forming on his face.

In some far off universe, Dino was internally regretting everything in life right now. He could see this slow-motion trainwreck happening from a mile away.

“Jun’s in loooooove ,” Seungkwan teased, causing Junhui’s cheeks to turn a rosy pink. “Beau, we should go so that Junhui can have some alone time with his boyfriend.”

Hansol frowned. “You’re my boo.”

“What am I? Chopped liver?” Dino interjected.

Seungkwan groaned in response. “C’mon Hansol, let’s take Buttercup home. Besides, I’ve got to study for my four exams next week. And drink my sixth cup of coffee for the day. Unlike some people here, I actually have to know what a liver looks like.”

Seungkwan and Hansol headed for the exit. Lilli barked at Buttercup’s pet carrier while Hansol walked by with it in hand. Seungkwan made a supremely annoyed face at Lilli. Hansol looked back at Dino and mouthed ‘sorry’ at him. Junhui awkwardly waved bye, though Seungkwan was having none of it. Seungkwan and Hansol left. And Minghao finally stepped out of the back room, stopping in his tracks as soon as he noticed Junhui. Dino actually threw his face into his palms this time -- this was such a mess. Everything was happening so fast.

“What are you doing here?” Minghao pointedly asked Junhui, a whole lot of venom in his tone falling on the ‘you’ part of that question. In fact, his voice had done a complete 180 from earlier; instead of being soft-spoken and quiet, Minghao’s voice was lower and a little gravelly. Like he too was extremely fed up with this situation. Dino finally removed his face from his hands and looked over at Junhui, who was still blushing pretty profusely. He seemed legitimately surprised by Minghao’s question.

“Well, um, I was just in the neighborhood, and, um, I had a few questions about, well, puppy training and…”

Junhui’s soft voice got quieter and quieter until it disappeared altogether, the honeyed lisp dying under Minghao’s intense gaze. There was absolutely nothing Dino could do now other than watch the impending fireworks. Minghao was royally upset.

“Wow, your hair’s blonde…” Junhui whispered. Dino looked back at Minghao, who was still parked next to the examination room doorway. He seemed even more peeved by Junhui’s comment, full-on glaring at Junhui. Dino looked over at Junhui, who was now looking away.

Before anybody could say anything, Dino felt someone roughly grab onto his shoulder and yank him back toward the lounge.

“Dino and I have something to take care of in the back,” Dokyeom quickly commented, dragging a limp Dino back toward the mini-table in the lounge. Dino was able to catch a glance of Minghao before disappearing from the front altogether; he couldn’t care less about Dokyeom or Dino. His focus was entirely on Junhui.

Once they were out of earshot of the front, Dino looked over at Dokyeom, who was washing his hands.

“Why did you pull me out of there? ” Dino whispered. “What if something happens between them? ”

Dokyeom sighed. “Dino, there’s literally nothing you can do to stop what’s about to happen.”

Dino frowned in response. He was being a petulant child, but he wanted to know what was happening out there.

“If you stop talking, you can still hear what they’re saying,” Dokyeom added, his low voice barely making it to Dino. Dokyeom took a seat opposite of Dino, clearly interested in what Minghao and Junhui were about to say in the other room. Dino shook his head and listened in too.

“Why didn’t you ask Dino for help then?” Minghao asked Junhui.

“I did! We just, um, didn’t--”

“--Why are you even here? Was Google not good enough for you?”

A long pause broke out between them. Dino stopped breathing, trying to focus on hearing Junhui’s soft voice.

“I, um, actually wanted to talk to you,” Junhui replied, his voice barely audible from where Dino and Dokyeom were seated in the lounge.

“Isn’t that what your boyfriend is for, Junhui?” Minghao clapped back.

“W-what?”

“Why don’t you go talk to Soonyoung,” Minghao repeated, mocking Junhui’s assertion that they were just talking. “You know, while you’re cuddling with him in bed.”

“M-minghao, you’ve got it all wrong.”

“Oh? Do you guys save the bed for fucking?”

“No, Minghao!” Junhui sounded extra flustered, even from the other room. “Soonyoung isn’t my boyfriend!”

“Oh? So you’re just friends with benefits? Great. Just wonderful.”

“No, we’re not anything! We’re just roommates, I swear.”

“It doesn’t even matter!” Minghao shouted, his voice loud and aggressive. Dino could hear Minghao storming out the back door, his footsteps getting quieter and quieter. When the door clicked shut, Dino slowly got out of his seat and quietly walked to the front.

Junhui was still standing there, but he looked really distraught. He wasn’t angry -- he was upset. Like he was about to cry. Lilli was still jumping up on him and trying to get his attention, but Junhui was too messed up right now to notice. However, he did hear Dino stop near the front desk, his head shooting up and eyes widening when he realized that Dino was still there. There was an awkward silence between them; Dino had no idea what to say.

“Dino, I need to go talk to him. I need to explain everything. He needs to know.”

Junhui was talking really fast; he was frazzled, but motivated to make this right.

“I, um--”

“--Dino, tell me where he lives. Please. I need to go find him and explain everything.”

Oh no.

“Please, Dino, please. Which dorm does he live in?”

“You -- You didn’t know?”

“Know what?”

“Jun. Minghao’s homeless.”

Junhui just stared back at him, apparently in shock.

“He lives in a homeless shelter.”

[hannahindie]

Winchestered

Characters: Dean Winchester, Neal (OC), Alice (OC), Reader, Sam Winchester (brief) Word Count: 3,896 Warnings: Language, insinuated sexy times, patented Dean Winchester snark, smoking A/N: My dear, precious, beautiful @pinknerdpanda requested a Christmas fic using the song “Fairytale of New York” by Dustin Kensrue. You can listen to it HERE. I know it’s after Christmas and that it took me forever, but I hope you all enjoy it. I hope that the title makes sense once you start reading...if not...well...I mean, I don’t know. hahah

Beta’d by @pinknerdpanda (because I can’t not show her things early, even when they’re for her) : “Lystjblhisjfh we yxmvpyskgxiskh itoskhc”

and @masksandtruths, because I had her workin’ overtime yesterday. -wink- Thanks, babe. “THANK YOU SWEET BABY JESUS! someone said it! For such an intelligent human, Dean has a lot of trouble with this simple fact.”

As usual, tags are at the bottom. If you’d like to be added, please let me know. :)

Motherfucker.

I groaned, my head aching as I turned on the hard surface I was laying on and squinted at the old man across from me who was singing obnoxiously loud.

Hi di-diddly-idle-um, diddly-doodle-idle-um, diddly-doo-ri-diddlum-deh Hi di-diddly-idle-um, diddly-doodle-idle-um, diddly-doo-ri-diddlum-deh

He gave me a nearly toothless grin and I groaned again as I squeezed my eyes shut.

“What the hell are you singing, and why?”

“It's Christmas time, m’boy. Will pro’ly be m’last one, and it's m’ favorite tune. Thought I'd serenade ya good and proper.”

“That...that isn’t a Christmas song.” I rolled back over and tried to ignore him, my head pounding. I don't know what the fuck I did or where I was last night, but being in the drunk tank of some podunk town was not exactly where I wanted to be - especially on Christmas. Sammy was gonna kill me.

“Oh, but fer ya, ‘tis. Ya don’t recognize where ya are, do ya?”

“I’m in some town in BFE, when I should be...well, anywhere else. I'm guessing I tied one on a little harder than I planned. And now here I am, trying to ignore some old man trying and failing to sing an Irish ballad and wondering where my brother is so he can get me the fuck outta here. Does that sound about right?”

“Well, son, ya ain't wrong. But that ain't what I was talkin’ about.” He slid over closer to me and I rolled back over to look at him.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Why don't ya sit up and take a good look, see where ya are, and then mebbe I’ll tell ya.”

I groaned and sat up, if for no other reason than to shut him up, and I leaned my head in my hands. Jesus, what did I do? “Okay, I'm up. What am I looking at?”

“Just look.”

I sighed and looked up, the light searing into my hungover eye sockets like lasers. The room was oddly familiar, and I ground the heel of my hand into my eyes. “This...where am I?”

The old man chuckled and I glared at him. He cleared his throat as he stood and walked over to the wall of steel bars that had us trapped. “Ain't so much as where, lad, but when.” He motioned for me to join him and I stood up with a groan, then stumbled to the bars and looked out. Suddenly, it hit me where I was.

“How...this...but I wasn't even here, Sam and I are somewhere in Mississippi,” I mumbled more to myself than the crazy old man who was grinning at me like he'd won the lottery. Judging by my surroundings, I wasn't in Mississippi...I was in New York, although the drunk tank still made sense. But if that was the case… “This happened...hell...twenty years ago. Unless you're an angel, I know I didn't time travel. What the hell is this?”

“Did ya have a favorite Christmas movie, m’boy?”

I glared, “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Well, did ya?” He cocked an eyebrow at me and I had the overwhelming urge to punch him in the face.

“Well, I know this isn’t Die Hard...aw, shit, you’ve got to be kidding me. Scrooged? Seriously? Nah, this is...I got hit really hard in the head, didn’t I? That’s what this is, because it can’t be because I’m some selfish bastard that never does anything for anybody.” I turned to look at the old man, “Because that’s bullshit. I might hate myself, but even I can recognize that I have given up everything for this godforsaken hell hole of a planet.”

“It ain’t always about bein’ selfish, laddie. Sometimes it’s just about showin’ ya what you already know.”

I rolled my eyes, “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” He nodded his head towards the bars and I looked out to see the last person I expected to be there. “Y/N?”

She stopped short of the bars and crossed her arms, “You know, it doesn’t look great for an FBI agent to be tossed into the drunk tank, much less on Christmas Eve. What were you thinking, Winchester?”

“Y/N, I-” I stopped short when I heard someone respond...when I heard myself respond, rather snarkily.

“Aww, c’mon, sweetheart. I was just celebrating, alone I might add, because someone didn’t want to come with me. We finished the job in record time, we did it well, and we don’t have anything lined up for the next few days.” I turned around to see myself stand up from the bed, then walk over and lean haphazardly against the bars. “Bust me outta here and let’s go have some fun, huh?”

I rolled my eyes, “I don’t act like that, that’s not remotely accurate.”

“‘Tis a memory, lad. Sorry to say it, but m’thinks tha’ twenty years ago, you pro’lly did act like that. Just keep watchin’.”

Y/N motioned to the guard, who came over and unlocked the cell door. Younger me strolled out, gave the guard a wink, then followed Y/N down the hall and out of the jail. I followed close behind, the old man trailing after me. “You’re lucky I was with you. You realize John would have just left you in there.”

“Yea, yea, I know. But you’re not my old man, and for once it’s just us. No Dad, no Sammy...just us.” He stopped Y/N as I looked on, my heart aching at how beautiful she was in the bright light of the moon. “We’re in New York, why don’t we make the best of it, huh?”

“And do what, Dean? It’s freezing cold, you hate museums and musicals-”

“Hey, I don’t hate ‘em! I’m just very particular about them.” He grabbed Y/N’s hands and rubbed them between his, “What about I take you to Broadway, we’ll go to one of those musicals you’re always going on about? Maybe we can go to Rockefeller Center, go ice skating.”

She laughed and I smiled; God, I missed that laugh. I missed the sound of it, and how her nose crinkled and her eyes squeezed shut. I missed the way she’d laugh so hard she would snort, which would throw her into another round of laughter that caused tears and hiccups as she tried to calm down. I missed her.

“Okay, fine. But you’re paying since I had to bail you out.” He laughed and held his arm out to her.

“Fair enough.” They walked away together in the darkness and I sighed.

“What’s the point in this, old man? Just to remind me of what? That I lost my best friend? That everything that happened from here on out was a catastrophic failure? Because I knew that already. I’ve known it for awhile.”

He gave me a sad smile and shook his head, “Let’s go. We’ve got a coupla more stops to make, don’t wanna lose track o’ time.” He reached out to me and I took a step back.

“I don’t think so. I’m done with this. I’ll wake up, and I’ll be in the floor of some abandoned house, and I’ll have to hear from Sammy how I got my ass handed to me. I’m over it, man.” I turned to walk away and suddenly a hand gripped my upper arm tightly.

“We ain’t done until I say it’s done, m’boy,” the old man practically growled,”Ya need to understand it’s not always about ya, or what ya want. Now, c’mon.” That’s about the time everything went black.

When I woke up, I was sitting on a bench directly on Broadway, and although I got a couple of weird looks, people walked around my legs like nothing was wrong. I guess I wasn’t the first person to jut my legs out into the middle of the sidewalk. “What the hell…”

“Ya say that an awful lot, don’t ya?” I looked up to see the man from before and groaned.

“Well, that tends to be the reaction of someone who keeps getting zapped through time.” I sat up and stretched, “What’s your name anyway?”

“My rightful title is the Ghost of Christmas Past, but ya can call me Neal.”

I raised an eyebrow, “Neal? Really?”

He shrugged, “Ya can call me by m’full name, but that is a bit much, ain’t it? Neal is fine.”

I stood up and shoved my hands in my pockets, “Okay Neal, why are we here?”

He gestured toward the building in front of me and I looked up to see a sign advertising Annie Get Your Gun. The doors flew open and a crowd of people poured out, young me and Y/N trailing after the group, laughing and smiling. Y/N jabbed young me in the ribs with her elbow.

“Admit it, you loved it.”

He shrugged, “It was okay. Annie Oakley is pretty cool, so I admit...for a musical...it was pretty good. But don’t expect me to admit that to anyone else, I’ll deny it.” He grabbed Y/n by the waist and she smiled.

“What do you think you’re doing, Dean Winchester?”

He grinned and winked, “Something I should have done a long time ago.” He bent down and kissed her, and I couldn’t help but smile at the memory. I watched as the crowd swarmed around them, how oblivious they were to the swirling bodies that bumped against them as they exited the theater. He pulled back and she looked up at him, her eyes wide. I remember when she used to look at me like that; it was like I was the only person that existed.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked, her voice low.

He smiled as he brushed hair from her face, and it took everything I had not to reach out and try to do the same myself, “You’re beautiful, do you realize that? The prettiest girl in all of New York.”

She blushed, “Oh shut up. Quit trying to impress me, even though it might be working.” He grinned and grabbed her hand.

“Let’s go.” The two took off down the sidewalk and Neal and I followed. They stopped at the corner, and from down the street, the smooth voice of Frank Sinatra carried all the way to where they were standing. He leaned down and kissed her again, and this time, she kissed back. I closed my eyes as I remembered the spark, how my hands had sunk into her hair, how she had clung to me as if she was afraid to let go. By the time I opened my eyes, they were gone, drawn into the crowd as they made their way to the next destination.

“Aren’t we going to follow them? I mean...us?”

Neal shrugged, “Do ya remember what happens next?”

I nodded, “I took her to Rockefeller Center to ice skate. It was crowded as hell, not exactly as romantic as I had pictured it, but she loved every second of it. I busted my ass more than once, but she was flawless. Kind of reminded me of when she hunted, graceful but still dangerous...like she knew something everyone else didn’t. She...we...were happy.” I sighed and turned to face Neal again, “Why are we doing this? What is the point in all this?”

Neal smiled and gave a small shrug, “Now if I told ya that, laddie, it would defeat the purpose. Go on, now. It’s time to move on.”

“What do you mean? Isn’t there a schedule to this, like the next one comes at midnight tomorrow to collect me and show me the error of my ways? I mean, that’s what-”

Before I could finish my sentence, Neal was gone and I wasn’t in New York anymore. I was standing outside an abandoned house, alone.

I looked around, the setting familiar but not, and threw my hands up. “Seriously, Neal? No warning, no recoup time, just straight into the next one?”

“We don't really have time for that, it's not like we’re filming a movie.”

I jumped at the sudden voice and turned to face the source. A short woman with messy blonde hair was standing behind me, her hands jammed in her pockets and a look of semi-annoyance on her face. “Oh, great, so I guess you're the fairy that smacks me around. Just what I needed.”

She shrugged, “I don't have to smack you around, unless you're into that kind of thing. Not a fairy either. Name’s Alice, but you can call me Al.”

“Well, it’s not nice to meet you, Al.” I turn and look back at the house, “What is this place?”

“I don't know, this is your life, dude. I just show you want you need to see.” Before I can say anything else, I hear a snap and Al and I are standing in the dilapidated living room. Sammy is leaned against a doorway, his arms crossed as he watched Y/N flip through a giant book.

“Wait...this is...this is house we’re holed up in in Mississippi. What's Y/N doing there? It was just me and Sam on this job…” Al shrugged again and I rolled my eyes, “Is that all you do, just shrug?”

“Yea, mostly.”

“Sam, stop it. It's not going to work.” I look at Y/N, who had spoken without looking up.

“What are you talking about? I legitimately needed help, and since Dean is MIA, I thought maybe you could be useful.” Sam was lying, I could see it on his face. If I knew Y/N well enough, she also knew.

“Bullshit. He made his choice, quit trying to Parent Trap us. Where is he anyway? Out with his latest Christmas Eve conquest?”

She said it with a laugh, but I could see the look on her face, and it broke my heart. “Y/N, I swear, I’m not with anyone! I don’t...I don’t know what’s happening, but...it’s not that.”

“She can’t hear you, you know.”

“I know she can’t fucking hear me, Al! Dammit, what is this supposed to teach me, huh? That I shouldn’t have broken up with her? That I should have drug her into a life of pain and uncertainty, and having to watch me die over and over because this life sure as hell won’t let me go. Is that it? Because I won’t do that. I can’t do that. Not to her.”

“Looks like she’s still doing it, even without you.”

I glared at her, “It’s not been that long. She’ll get out eventually. She wasn’t born into this life, and she doesn’t have to stay in it. I should kick Sam’s ass for even calling her.” I watched as Y/N slammed the book shut and grabbed her jacket.

“Come on, Sasquatch. I think I know what you’re dealing with, although I have a suspicion you already knew. Let’s get it over with so I can get out of here before Dean gets back.” Sam frowned but followed after her and I looked back at Al.

“Now what? Do we follow them?”

She shook her head, “Nah, we’re movin’ on. Like I said, we don’t have much time. We gotta jump ahead a little bit. You said something about Y/N moving on, yea?”

“Yea, but what does that-” I was interrupted by once again being zapped somewhere else, and I had a feeling I wasn’t going to like what we were about to see.

I was standing in the middle of a parking lot,  facing the front of a run down hotel, the sign flickering off and on in the darkness. It was raining, although it didn’t seem like I was actually getting wet. Al had flipped her hood up anyway and had lit a cigarette. I narrowed my eyes at her, “Are you fucking kidding me right now?” She shrugged and it took everything I had not to punch her. “Shrug one more time, Al. One more time,” I growled, my hands clenched at my sides.

She took a drag from her cigarette and gave me a tight lipped smile, “Sorry.” She nodded towards the building, “Don’t you want to see why we’re here?”

“Not really, but I guess you’re going to make me, right? So let’s get this shit over with.” I motioned in front of me, “After you, since you know where I’m supposed to be going.” Al walked past me and stopped at Room Thirteen.

“Your turn, Romeo.” I rolled my eyes and moved to open the door, but instead fell through it. The room was dark, but there was enough light coming from outside that I saw two body shaped lumps under the sheets. I watched as the one closest to the door slowly sat up and stretched. Y/N.  

“So you brought me here to show me she’s sleeping with someone else?”

“Quit bitching and keep watching.”

Y/N slipped from bed quietly and began gathering her clothes, but not before I got an eyeful of scars that hadn’t been there before. After she dressed, she sat down and pulled on her boots, carefully lacing them up, then grabbed her jacket and phone from the table. She walked towards the door, paused, went back to the night stand and dug through the wallet that was lying there and pocketed the cash she found. She gave one last look at the form still in bed, then carefully opened the door and shut it quietly behind her. Al and I walked through it, and watched as she hopped into her car and took off, throwing gravel out behind her as she sped off.

“She’s still hunting. And who was that bozo?”

“Who knows? Another hunter, some sorry jackass from the bar who was too drunk to notice all her scars? Does it really matter?”

“Of course it matters! She deserves….God, she deserves so much more than this.” I paused before I asked my next question; I wasn’t sure i wanted the answer. “Where...where am I?”

Al took another puff from her cigarette, then flicked it across the pavement, “I could show you, but there’s not much point. Let’s just say you end up where you started, only this time you don’t leave the cell.”

“What about Sam?” Sam would never leave me in there, not on my own.

“I don’t know. I’m only showing you what I was shown. Maybe Sam begrudgingly agrees to get your drunken ass out, or maybe he leaves you there because he’s tired of your bullshit. Knowing him, though, and your weird codependency, he’ll get you out. That’s not really the point here, Dean. Although I’m not surprised that’s where your brain went.”

I looked in the direction that Y/N had driven, “No, I know that wasn’t the point. She keeps hunting, and she doesn’t settle down. Her life doesn’t change just because I left her. That’s the point, right? That it doesn’t matter what any of us do, we’re all destined to do this anyway.”

“Basically.”

“You know, someone could have just told me that instead of going on this cliche little journey through time.”

Al pulled a cell phone from her pocket and ran her thumb down the screen ,”Yea, but would you have listened? I’m pretty sure time and experience have taught you otherwise.” She looked back up, “Sorry to cut this short, but I’ve got another appointment. So you understand, right? You get why we did this? Get your shit together, Winchester. Neal and I have better things to do than to keep trying to fix your fuck ups, alright? Go get the girl, already.” She snapped her fingers, and everything went black one more time.

I woke up in the Impala, sprawled out in the front seat. I sat up with a gasp and looked around, and realized that I was sitting outside out of a hotel rather than the house Sam and I had been in. “What the hell…” I mumbled, unsure of how I made it to the hotel, never mind with the car. I patted myself down, and not finding any injuries, I slowly climbed out and shut the door. I looked up and realized where I was.

Room Thirteen.

It was definitely a different hotel, but the number was the same. Although it occurred to me that it might be a bad idea to just assume, I walked up to the door anyway and raised my hand to knock. The door swung open and the person on the other side gasped.

“Hey, Y/N,” I nearly whispered, afraid if I was any louder, she’d run. She looked up at me with wide eyes and I wondered if her heart was beating as fast as mine.

“Hi,” she answered just as quietly.

“I...I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m so sorry...I just...I wanted to protect you. But you’re just going to end up still hunting while I’m locked up in some drunk tank, and I don’t want you to rob the dudes you sleep with, it’s just not what I wanted for you at all-”

“Excuse me? Who am I robbing? Who said I’m sleeping with anybody-”

“Just listen, okay? Me pushing you away is not going to protect you. It doesn’t automatically mean you’re going to leave this life and go back to what you had before. The moment you found out about all this stuff, there wasn’t any chance of leaving it. I just...I didn’t want to be the reason you felt trapped, okay? I don’t want to be the reason your dreams are gone.”

Y/N smiled at me, a genuine smile...one I haven’t seen in a long time. She put a hand against my cheek and tilted her head, “You’re a dumbass, Dean Winchester. You’re the reason I’m still here to even have dreams. You didn’t take my old life away, you gave me a new one.” She kissed me, and it was like the world stopped. I closed my eyes and let her warmth sink in, deep into my bones. She pulled back and she laughed as I frowned at the separation. I opened my eyes to see her staring at me, “Wherever you are...that’s where my dreams are, okay?”

“You don’t know how great it is to hear that, kid.” I paused, and she raised an eyebrow.

“What?”

“How’d you know I was out here, anyway? You opened the door before I even knocked.”

She shook her head, “No idea. I thought I heard your car and when I looked nothing was there. A couple of minutes later, something made me open the door and check again...and there you were. It was the strangest thing.” She stepped back through the doorway, “Would you like to come inside?”

I nodded and gave her a grin, “Absolutely.” I stopped as I stepped over the threshold and looked over my shoulder. In the distance Neal and Al were standing next to each other, Neal swaying drunkenly and Al smoking. Neal waved, then elbowed Al, who gave a half-hearted nod, and I nodded back. They slowly disappeared into the darkness and I smiled. Merry Christmas, indeed.

Like what you see? Would you like to read more? Check out my master list HERE! 

Forever Tags: @trexrambling @pinknerdpanda  @wheresthekillswitch @emilywritesaboutdean @arryn-nyxx @emptywithout @escabell @charliebradbury1104 @jarpadandjensenaremyheroes  @deanssweetheart23  @canadianjelly @super-not-naturall @aubreyreadsstuff @dean-winchesters-baby @melissaj616 @fandomismyspiritanimal @keepcalmandcarryondean @assbutt-still-in-hell @owllover123 @rosie-winchester @amionthetumbler @duubaduu @hiimaprofessionalfangirl @goldenolaf25 @authoressskr @nanie5 @mrssamfuckingwinchester @zincomms @kathaswings @crazynerdandproud @barbedwireandbubblegum @sandlee44 @boxywrites @justanotherdeangirl @smalltowndivaj @captainradicalpassion @myloveforyouxx @atc74 @mrsbatesmotel53 @easelweasel @there-must-be-a-lock @masksandtruths @thelittleredwhocould @jotink78 @amanda-teaches @ilsawasanacrobat @squirrel-moose-winchester @mjdoc90 @anticipate1003 @mrswhozeewhatsis

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[athyrabunlord]

Daydream [VI] Hanamaru & Ruby

Reminder: This is based off of Daydream Warrior and this fanart I did Warning: Profanity, violence and sex. Ships: You>Chika>Kanan>Riko>?; with mentions of YouMari & KanaMari, and implied DiaYoshi & Maruby Words: 2,823 [concept doodle]

[I. Mari] [II. Chika] [III. Yohane] [IV. Kanan] [V. Dia] [VI. Hanamaru & Ruby] [VII. You] [VIII. Riko] [IX. ???]

VI. Hanamaru & Ruby

“But I want to go back” “To that day, the day we met” “My one wish goes ungranted”

“You’re not asleep, are you?”

You’s arm remained draped over her closed eyes. She felt the weight of someone sitting down beside her head as well as the pleasant floral scent that always seemed to accompany the speaker. She refused to budge from where she was sprawled on her back across the bench with her legs dangling over the edge.

A quiet sigh, though there was a hint of exasperated fondness. “Still, don’t sleep here in the open, you might get sick.”

You’s lips twitched in humor. “Isn’t there a saying that says bakas don’t get sick?”

She grinned behind her arm when the newcomer playfully ruffled her hair. “Don’t call yourself a baka, silly.”

“Hey! You’re messing up my hair!”

“It’s already messy to begin with though?”

“How mean,” You growled and sat up abruptly, batting the hand away from her head. She chuckled at the startled squeal and laughed even more so when the other girl punched her arm. “That’s weak, y’know.”

Another punch, this time more forceful, though nothing compared to the fist fights she was used to. Even then, she rubbed at her abused arm and whined. “Ow~! I’m gonna have a bruise tomorrow.”

“Baka…”

“Ah, so I really am a baka?”

Okay, she deserved that pinch, but her bandaged cheek was still sore from the brawl yesterday and she couldn’t suppress the urge to flinch. The same hand then gently caressed the injured area, as if apologizing for inflicting further pain. She closed her eyes briefly to relish the sensation before opening her eyes and turning to face her companion at last.

“Hey.”

“Hey you.” Amber eyes were filled with concern as the burgundy-haired girl lightly brushed her thumb over the bandage. “Why do you always get into fights-?”

“Now now, I don’t start them. Trouble comes looking for me, not the other way around,” You smiled wryly as she slouched in her seat. “They’re not that bad, and overall it’s good exercise, Riko-chan.”

“No, it’s not. One of these days you’ll get really hurt, and I don’t want that.” Riko said sternly, her fingers curling near You’s cheek as if threatening to pinch it again.

You backed away and pouted. “I know I know. Geez, you and Chika-chan won’t ever stop nagging at me, will you? Be proud, I stopped the fight before it got too bad, and came here to rest.”

“I see. Good, there’s improvement at least.”

Airily, Riko straightened and pulled out a familiar sketchbook from her bag. She ignored You’s questioning gaze and began to doodle the scenery. You’s blue eyes swept over the park, noting the few people strolling along the path, a kid playing with his dog over there, some flying their kites beyond the pond, and an old couple seated at a nearby bench and simply enjoying the nice weather. Everything seemed so picturesque, the tranquil atmosphere so good that it almost felt fake, especially compared to the frequent fights she’s gotten herself involved in.

Nevertheless, this wasn’t bad. This wasn’t bad at all. She could get used to such peace.

She listened to the quiet scratching sounds of the pencil as Riko sketched, smiling at the occasional pauses when the latter wasn’t pleased with the lighting or the composition.

“You’re not mad me?”

“Why would I be mad at you?”

“Aha, you are mad at me,” You peered at her friend and scooted closer. In response, Riko scooted away and resumed drawing like she wasn’t even here. Pouting again, You repeated her action and received the same reaction. The cycle continued until Riko was barely seated at the edge of the bench.

Huffing, she set down her sketchbook and scowled at the grinning You. “What?”

“Finally made you look at me.”

Riko raised an eyebrow and exhaled deeply. “Look, I’m not mad at you. Like I said, I’m just worried. Stop getting into fights so often. Chika-chan’s worried, Kanan-chan too.”

You rolled her eyes. “I can handle myself. Kanan should know that better than either of you.”

“Just promise us… promise me, okay?”

It was really difficult to say no, not under such pair of piercing, pretty eyes. You shrugged, holding her arms akimbo. “Alright! I’ll try to stay out of trouble. In exchange though, I wanna see this!”

Before Riko could react, You snatched the sketchbook out of her lap and flipped through the pages. She hummed in appreciation at the detailed drawings, some still life and some of animals. The recent pages, however, were filled with portraits of a ponytailed girl. Jogging, stretching, napping, drinking a bottle of water, or just smiling at the viewer.

Snickering, You wasn’t surprised to see Riko’s face turning beet red. “Does Kanan know?”

“Of course, but that doesn’t make this any less embarrassing. Can I have it back already?”

Taking pity on the blushing girl, You held out the sketchbook and chuckled again when Riko hugged it protectively against her chest. Silence fell upon them for a while, long enough for You to shuffle uncertainly. Was that too much teasing?

Just as she was about to apologize, Riko spoke up in a muffled voice. “Do you believe in true love, You-chan?”

For some reason, the question stung her more than any physical injury ever did. She immediately thought of a mikan-haired girl and her beautiful smile. This thought alone pained her just as much as it made her happy. Self-conscious, she scratched the back of her hair and mumbled. “… yeah, I do.”

Riko giggled at her response. The soft sound tickled inside her heart, yet she didn’t feel insulted or annoyed.

“Why do you ask anyway? You’re the happy couple, not me.”

“Just curious, that’s all.”

“Riko-chan…”

“It’s true, I just wanted to know your thoughts.”

You folded her arms, trying to read the soft smile on Riko’s visage. Was that bliss? Would she look like that too, if Chika were to accept her feelings? But that wouldn’t ever be possible, would it? After all, Chika loved someone else, someone who was also her friend.

And that person happened to be Riko’s girlfriend as well.

“Okay, now that you know, what’re you going to do?”

Riko turned away and looked into the sky, not smiling but not frowning either. Her whispered reply drifted with the breeze, so quiescent that You almost didn’t catch it.

“I’m going to set things right.”

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

“Don’t fall asleep here, you’ll get sick.”

You grunted but did not move to acknowledge the speaker. Her arm was draped over her face, shielding her closed eyes from the sunlight as she remained sprawled on her back across the bench. Her mind was a mess, chaotic even long after she had left the hospital. She’s wandered back to the park and found herself reminiscing her time with Riko.

Truth be told, she missed chatting with Riko. She didn’t remember what happened after that, though she did recall avoiding her since that puzzling conversation.

Why though?

You gritted her teeth and turned to her side, resting her arm against the cool and rough surface of the bench’s backrest. Ah, she didn’t want to be prodded about her feelings for Chika or talk about love, as subtle as Riko had been. Sometimes, You admired how Chika and Riko remained good friends under such circumstances, while she and Kanan…

Deep exhale. She clenched her fist and tried to ignore the throbbing pain from her wounds. That Dia may have cleaned and bandaged them, but her words had torn open something more painful. Perhaps she should go back to Chika now, as she promised she would. She couldn’t find her phone, which was prolly broken and still back at Chika’s place, and that was the excuse she kept telling herself to delay facing Chika again.

Again, she recalled Riko’s soft smile when the latter spoke of true love. How could Matsuura fucking Kanan betray her? Dragged Chika into this?

Someone to share your joy and pain, someone to talk to… someone to hug.

Only Mari understood You. She didn’t want to see either Chika or Riko. She wanted to see Mari at this moment, desperately so. In spite of whatever Mari had with Kanan, You still wanted to be with her. It wasn’t just about screwing each other senseless, or just having someone period. No, it wasn’t something as paltry as sex.

It was so much more than that, You was certain of it.

Her thoughts were rudely jostled out of her mind when petite hands pushed her further along the bench to make room. You’s legs dangled awkwardly over the edge while her face was uncomfortably squashed between her arm and the backrest. Growling in annoyance, she sat up and glared down at the short brunette and her pigtailed friend.

“What the fuck?”

“Language please,” Hanamaru was unfazed, her thick novel open in her lap. She didn’t even glance in You’s direction. “You were in my seat, so I moved you.”

You pulled back her fist, fully intending to at least punch the spot beside the girl’s shoulder to scare her. She stopped in mid-motion however, when her glare found Ruby’s green eyes. They were unnerving, emotionless and severe.

It was the same way Dia looked at her, back in the hospital.

Deep breath. In and out. In and out. You clenched her eyes shut and slouched in her seat. The tense silence was intermittently interrupted by the rustling sound of Hanamaru flipping the pages of her book. She should just leave and save herself from this inexplicable stress, but her pride refused to give in. Why should she get out of the way? She was here first!

“… there are so many other benches available, why this one?” You looked around the park, noting the lack of passersby, empty benches and the dried up pond.

“I always read my book with Ruby-chan here, and I don’t intend to change that,” Hanamaru’s gaze remained fixated on the novel’s small print. Ruby appeared to be reading over her friend’s shoulder as well.

“A stubborn one, aren’t you?”

“Not as much as you, You-san.”

“Ha! You think you know me?” She angrily recalled their encounter days ago, also here at the park. “What, you want me to wake up? Is that it?”

The brunette shrugged, her voice flat with nonchalance. It was clear that she didn’t give a fuck. “Awake, asleep, daydreaming, does that matter? You remain the same no matter what. Why do I even try?”

Again, You was seized by the violent urge to hurt the smaller girl. Not out of desire to cause her pain, but rather to solicit some sort of emotion out of her and her friend. Any other girls would have fled or screamed in fear if You were to glare at them like this, but not these two. It wasn’t as if You enjoyed terrifying younger girls, but such reaction would have been normal at least.

Hanamaru and Ruby’s lack of expected response was unsettling.

You covered her face and chuckled sardonically. Did she just wish for normality? What a fucking joke! She thrived in chaos. Only in bloody fistfights did she feel alive. Peace? What peace? She will never know peace.

It was not meant for her. Fact.

“What’s that book? Is it really that interesting?”

“Oh it is. Riko-san recommended it to us. We would like to finish it.”

You pursed her lips, unsurprised by their acquaintance of the artist. They came to the park often enough, they might have even bonded over common interests. Literature was a form of art too. Riko used to mention her friend Dia preferring classic literature, while her other friend enjoyed fantasy and in particularly the occult.

Right. Yohane and Riko were good friends, and that was how she came to know the eccentric gothic girl.

“Where’s your friend?”

Neither Hanamaru nor Ruby answered her.

“I was looking for her.”

Hanamaru turned a page, her expression unreadable as able. “Then keep looking.”

“Smartass,” You rubbed her chin. “Odd, I swore you used to speak in an odd accent or dialect of some sort, at least around her. Yohane-chan I mean.”

“Is that so?” There was an indiscernible tremor in her voice.

“Yup. Well, I don’t give a shit how you speak, just pointing it out.”

Silence again.

“How about you?” She shifted her attention to the pigtailed girl. “Say something. You mute or what?”

Ruby blinked and stared at her with those disturbingly blank eyes again. Her lips remained sealed.

“You are mute then.”

Ruby returned her gaze back to the book.

“No seriously, I was looking for your friend. She was talking to me but then she disappeared out of the blue-”

The book was slammed shut so abruptly that it made a cringe-worthy thud. There was something ugly and abhorrent in Hanamaru’s brown eyes. It was fleeting, but the intensity of such emotion had You tense defensively.

“Dia-san is with Yoshiko-chan.”

Ruby started trembling so Hanamaru gently held her hands, the gesture so drastically different than her vicious glare towards the older girl.

“Yo…shiko?” You was distinctly aware of her own heart pounding within her ribcage, like a trapped beast frantically trying to break free. Yohane… Yoshiko… Tsushima Yoshiko?

“Yoshiko-chan is still in a coma,” Hanamaru whispered darkly. “So perhaps you’ve been hallucinating, or you just have a sick sense of humor. Whatever it is, please stop it. It’s just us left now, Ruby-chan and I. The moment you even attempt to hurt Ruby-chan, I swear you will be begging for death the moment I’m done with you.”

Such savage words sounded so uncharacteristic and outlandish from a petite girl, let alone someone like Hanamaru. Yohane’s friend was usually smiling, playfully berating the gothic girl’s antics and cuddling Ruby.

That Hanamaru would never hurt a fly. The brunette here though would follow through with her threat, word for word.

You felt sick.

Back at the warehouse, back in the hallways of the hospital, and countless other times, she has been talking to thin air? But Yohane had replied to her. Or was it her own conscience, taking the form of the girl she considered trustworthy?

“Onee-chan is wholly devoted to Yoshiko-chan now.”

Both Hanamaru and You’s eyes widened as they looked at Ruby, whose expression was serene and somehow that sent a chill down You’s limbs.

“I loved her, you know? Yoshiko-chan. But I’ve been useless and I’m scared of facing her again,” Ruby was smiling. “Maru-chan too. Maru-chan loved Onee-chan, ne?”

Hanamaru cringed, her carefully controlled expression crumbling to that of pain. “That’s-”

“It’s okay. I know. That’s from before. We have each other now and that’s all that matters,” Ruby held up the brunette’s hand and interlaced their fingers, the gesture full of tenderness that it inexplicably frightened You even more. “Even then, I still wish we could go back, back to the way everything used to be.”

“That’s the one wish I cannot help you with, Ruby-chan,” Hanamaru pulled her hand away, her eyes churning with raw emotions. “Like what Kanan-chan said, it’s just a nightmare, one that none of us can ever wake up from.”

Ruby nodded slowly, her lips pressed in a thin line while her expression returned to that unnerving, vacant one like before.

It took a moment for You to realize she was covered in cold sweat. She wiped at her damp brow with her forearm and almost tripped in her haste to stand up.

“I-I’m going to g-go see Riko-chan. She… She can help me, yeah. She always has.”

Hanamaru stared at her coolly and gestured at the trees on the other side of the field. “We just went to see her. She’s over there.”

You staggered away as fast as her failing legs could bring her. She knew there was a hidden entrance to the park in that direction. She didn’t usually take this path, as it was covered with undergrowth which made it annoying to walk through. However she used to be familiar with the area, as it granted its visitors privacy and a natural veil of filtered lights from the canopy tops. Riko loved sketching here.

And this is where I…

She stumbled out of the woods and found the small gate that faced the intersection of a busy street. Gasping for breaths, she stood still and stared at the ponytailed girl crouched beside the dilapidated fence.

Kanan was holding a bouquet of roses, tears sliding down her cheeks and raining upon a withered wreath against the corner. She gingerly placed the bouquet beside a photo frame, her lips moving with whispered words.

You found it excruciating to breathe, her heart aching like someone had clenched it tight in their grip.

Kanan stood up listlessly and looked at You with dead eyes.

“I’m going to set things right.”

[existentialkendall-blog]

Sharpie Soulmates (Soulmate AU)

Pairing: Kickthestickz Wordcount: 2.3k Rating: bad language, but nothing to cry about

Request/Prompt: Whatever you write on yourself appears on your soulmate but disappears from your skin. Pj is always covered in horrible pick up lines and crudely drawn dicks. While Chris is covered in doodles and gets an occasional 'fuck you' or 'you're a dick' on himself from pj. Eventually they meet when Chris writes 'I have a small dick' on his forehead and sees pj.

A/N: Request a fic here, click a like down there. This isn’t youtube people, you guys aren’t stupid enough to need to be told what to do

At first, PJ doesn't notice the harsh black lines on his skin. Usually flecks of paint adorn his skin, and consumed with work, he doesn't spend a lot of time thinking about himself. It's always the next idea, the following project, the bigger picture. When it first happens he doesn't see it until it's almost faded. On his right ankle, the small crude pen drawing of a dick, moving whenever he flexed his foot. It's repulsive, and for the first few seconds he's confused. Then he grabs the closest sharpie, and traces the image hoping it will go away. Since it's on his skin, a replica over the top might send the drawing back to it's owner. It doesn't, and now he's marred someone else with pornography. He throws the pen down in frustration and licks his finger, rubbing at the spot. It doesn't do anything. When he's in the shower, some 8 minutes later, he has an epiphany of sorts. He's just made contact with his soulmate, and the first interaction they had was matching ankle dicks. PJ groans, head falling back against the shower wall in annoyance.

___

It's strange, but paint doesn't transfer or leave his skin. It's only pen, ink. So when he's painting a cardboard box white, because he found a stash of the boxes yesterday, he's almost disappointed that he can't stay clean. "Is this for a new video?" Jamie asks, bent over his shoulder and watching the paint transform the conventional brown to a clinical white. Could be an office, a space station, a hospital. Most of the time he sticks with the brown, but for some reason he was in the mood for painting a calming white. PJ nods, still thinking about a video idea, "Yeah. I've got something in mind." "Cool, let me know when you've figured everything out," PJ nods again, "Also... What the hell is that?" Alert due to the shift in Jamie's voice, he turns and looks at his friend confused, then his eyes trail down and he sees it. 'Stop, drop, and roll, baby. You are on fire' Written on his arm in chicken scratch font, thick because it'd been gone over several times with the pen. "I..." He trails off, "I. I think that is my soulmate."Jamie pats him on the back in congratulations. "Well done."As soon as Jamie's retreating back leaves the room PJ scribbles on his arm 'You're a real dick' It doesn't take long for the message to receive a reply, and when it does PJ's irritated groan is possibly louder than yesterdays. 'I do have a real dick! Did you like the preview I sent you yesterday? Judging from your eager response I'd say yes' He bites his lip while writing, lower down then before so the words flow like a conversation on the other persons skin, smiling because even though the person on the other end is annoying the crap out of him, his soulmate is a boy. A man. He's never been with a guy before, and it's exciting yet nerve wracking to know he will be. 'Oh so that was a scale copy? I'm so sorry that you didn't grow during puberty like the rest of us' PJ reads the next piece of writing, grinning even more, then goes back to painting. When Sophie asks him later why he has 'YOU HAVE A BIG COCK???' taking up three quarters of his forearm, he flushes a pretty pink and laughs awkwardly.

___

On the second day he nervously asks 'What's your name?' The pen flips restlessly in his hand, patting against his black jeaned thigh until the name appears on his other arm, because as PJ quickly learnt, the love of his eternity is left handed. 'Chris' Huh. Chris. With the pad of his index finger, he traces each letter tentatively. When he reaches the end he repeats the motion, hovering over the capital C that seems so much more magnetic than the other letters. 'And yours' PJ's eyes soften and his mouth turns up at the corners. Yours. His. Mine. And then he understands the question and uses his green fine liner to trace 'PJ' adding several layers of ink so it's bold and bright and him.

___

The problem is, PJ's a doodler. One trait that's been fluid since he was a child is that he loves to doodle. Especially on his skin. In fact, some of his best drawings were conceived that way during school; too tired to care about the subjects and too unprepared to bring extra paper. Skin was there for him when paper was not. He couldn't kick the habit when he entered University, and he sure as hell can't kick it now when he's a year in. Frequently he finds himself sitting with a pack of felt tipped Crayolas, or no name fineliners, drawing small, and large, designs on his left arm. For the past week it's been no different. What's annoying is he liked seeing the efforts of his creative process on his arm, wearing it like a tattoo, a badge of honour. But it disappears quickly, and he has to start again. Chris leaves him a critique one day running across the centre of his wrist. 'You're an incredible artist' It takes PJ by surprise. He's used to waking up and finding thickly inked penises on various locations on his body, or cheesy chat up lines that have PJ rolling his eyes but smiling fondly. Several of his favourites include; 'There are a lot of fish in the sea, but you’re the only one I’d like to mount' 'Oh no, I’m choking! I need mouth to mouth, quick!' 'I’m on top of things. Would you like to be one of them?' Needless to say, every written sentence and poorly thought out line, no matter how disturbing or rude, is both irritating and endearing.

___

That is, until the guy buys a six pack of sharpies. Beforehand it was ballpoint pens, stuff he was able to wash off easily. Not now. When he steps into the shower one morning, eyes blearily searching for the shampoo to wash the sleep out of his frenzied hair, he thinks everything is fine. There aren't any markings, and to be honest, that's a relief because they're a bitch to wash off every morning. It's when he's out of the shower and in front of the mirror, towelling down to get rid of the individual water droplets that trail down his chest, that he catches the black in the corner of his eye. 'My hand belongs here' PJ's jaw drops and he's stuck still for a few fleeting seconds. "What the fuck." It's on his neck. Not on a small scale, but like the Joker's writing, jagged and uneven. Backwards in the mirror, but PJ has magicked up enough mirror demons to read reversed. Almost blinded by rage and incredulousness, he's about to charge out of his tiny bathroom and write something way more offensive on his own body for Chris to have scar his skin for the days it takes for Sharpie to wash off. But then he spots 'Wanna go for a test drive?' on his hipbone as he's turning to leave. And then, 'Insert finger here' complete with an arrow pointing down to his asshole. It's almost illegible, how he managed to contort his body enough to scribble it on is beyond him. Amazed at Chris's audacity and carelessness he dashes out to his desk and plucks a bright blue permanent marker up. As he's writing a long list of complaints on his leg, and then rising up to his chest, he feels the similarities to writing film reviews on IMBd or letters of complaint that his parents used to do. Except, this is to the guy he's destined to be with, and he knows the complaining won't do jack shit to change his behaviour. ___

It's relatively peaceful for a while. PJ it still littered with pick up lines daily, the 'My bedroom has an interesting ceiling, I could take you on a guided tour' and the 'When are you expected back at Heaven?', and PJ still absently doodles on the curve of his wrist and palm of his hand, forgetting that Chris will see it until it's already sent. During this time he's been uploading more to YouTube. It's still in it's early stages, but he's grateful for the site because he's getting much more experience. Due to work, and YouTube, and constant creating, he hasn't really thought about meeting Chris. Although they're talked (if you can call it that) every day, they haven't discussed personal details, or their future together. Because if they're soulmates, they have to be together, there's no way they can be with anyone else.

___

PJ wakes up stupidly early, the sun hasn't fully risen yet and the sky is a dusty grey, illuminated by yellowing streetlights. He forces himself to get up, and leave the house before 6:00am. The train to London leaves at 7:00am, and he wants to get coffee from the station before the journey. He pulls on his favourite green sleeved t-shirt slowly, bones cracking at the movements, and when he slides his socks on the fading purple dick on the base of his foot makes his smirk. Fully dressed and he's in the bathroom, tiredly dragging a toothbrush and staring at the sink with half closed eyes. He's out for the whole day, all four of his 'team' are. It's both research for a short film they're making for his Uni course, and a golden opportunity to meet with some sponsors that might fund his next big personal project. Until. "FUCK!" PJ yells, toothbrush falling from his open hands and eyes wide. "No! No, no, no," He wets a flannel and starts rubbing at his forehead, shaking with anxious frustration. The pen won't come off. 'I've got a small dick' is going to be permanently tattooed on his face in all the colours of the rainbow for the entire day. He adds soap and tries again, heart pounding uncomfortably. He can't meet sponsors with that filth tainting him. "Chris, you fucking asshole, I'm going to fucking kill you," PJ mutters, giving up, leaving his skin a red mess. He shoves a beanie on, and leaves the house with a scowl firmly fixed onto his face. His travelling companions don't say a word, even though they heard his angry explosion of profanities earlier. They get to London and shoot some footage in Hyde Park, brown boots hitting grey pavement as the scenery begins to change and the crowds grow thicker. He's actually forgotten that he's mad at Chris, too busy laughing at the stupid faces his friends are pulling, and running along the grass for various nature sequences. After a few hours they stop, and decide to head to a café. It's a warm spring day, and he peels off his beanie to stop his head from overheating. From where he's stood in the queue, he can see his friends take the leather sofas at the end of the shop, claiming it for their group only. One persons order is fulfilled, one step forward, the queue gets smaller. He can feel his fringe sticking to his forehead and he wipes it aside, grimacing at the damp strands that he knows will be several shades darker then the rest of his hair. At first, he doesn't notice the guy staring at him next to the floor to ceiling windows. He's wearing a baby blue striped t-shirt, coupled with raised eyebrows and messy hair. On the high table next to him is an abandoned coffee, keeping warm under the beating sun from outside. He's still there when they leave, PJ's hat clutched between his fingers because it's too freakin hot to put it back on. His camera bag is slouched across his body, and he's grinning at something Sophie says, when a hand clamps his shoulder and he turns around. The stranger that had been watching him is gaping open mouthed at PJ's forehead. That's when he remembers what Chris wrote, and he's going to explain, he swears he is, but the guy is hot. His floppy brown hair is messy above green flecked hazel eyes, and his mouth is practically begging to be... put to use. "I can explain," He finally breathes out, making an effort to stop staring at the stranger. The guy quirks an eyebrow and crosses his arms, as if to say go ahead, I've got all day. "See, this thing, y'know-""Let me stop you right there," He smirks, interrupting PJ's garbled rambling. From his pocket he pulls out a thin marker and in sloped, disjointed text, writes something on his palm. Then he takes PJ's slender wrist in his hand, circling it with his fingers, and turns it around, his thumb drifting idly down his wrist and resting over PJ's pulse point.

you're PJ what's on your forehead is a work of art just like your face I'm fated to love you

"Do I get a hello kiss or do you not put out on the first date?" Chris smiles wide and his other hand, the one not sliding into his own palm and curling around his fingers so they entwine, is reaching around his waist. PJ blushes and manages a "Public," Before slipping out of his grasp. "Oh c'mon honey, it's gonna happen sometime," Chris whines, high pitched and strung out. PJ shakes his head, and walks away from Chris. He follows him, long legs catching up quickly. He throws an arm around PJ's shoulders casually and leans down, pressing a wet open mouthed kiss on the side of his cheek. "You and me Peej, we're gonna fuck away the world." PJ rolls his eyes, brain automatically lending the words dick, and you're a. But he rejects his instinct and goes for a muttered "You should feel so lucky." "Oh I will. Later." It's natural, seamless, right. Chris is his. He is Chris's.

Part 2 

[sanguinesprout]

Therapy/Counselling Diary #7 (plus some small but heartening accomplishments and a few other little frustrations)

Hmm... hmm... it’s hard to say how I’m feeling right now, a strange cocktail of refreshing see sawing determination with a little kick of spicy proudness mingled in with the usual bitterness of overhanging doubt and the chill of all those nerve-wracking fears. Tastes pretty terrible, probably an acquired taste, but unique non the less. I’m no expert at all, but I’ll give it a generous 2.3 stars overall.

Last week was... it was not so bad actually (or maybe that’s just cause I’ve forgotten a lot of it already lol). I pushed myself to try harder to do some of the things my counsellor wanted me to do, what I myself wanted to do and le gasp, it happened..! I guess her hard talk really did stir something good in me after all. To put it real brief right here for now, I went out a lot more than I usually would (just mundane stuff like shopping and supermarkets tho) and I did the phone orders thing!!!1! Not once but multiple times over three days! Yaaay! But this week I need to continue it and even one up it... boooo-- uh, I mean go me!! @w@

There were times I totally copped out though and it feels bad man as usual, but I at least tried and I was able to prove some of my presumptions and preconceived thoughts mostly wrong! It’s something! It’s a big step, an accomplishment for me, don’t downplay it silly me! *pats self on back and proceeds to go in hiding again- no no!* This week is already feeling a little bleak but I just have to toast it up a little, let myself get cosy in this newer environment by just being there and exposing myself to it more. C’mon, I can do it! ^^

Okay onto the actual counselling session, which was yesterday. I literally only just made it on time, phew haha. I was a little anxious going up to the room cause there were some other people around in the corridor but w/e no1currs really and that goes for every other situation everywhere else. When you’re absorbed and focused in what you’re doing like other people are and not constantly looking around and assuming people give a damn (which they don’t) then it’s all good!

Um, anyways she did the typical ‘how are you/have you been’ and I gave her my weekly self scoring sheet but also I told her I forgot to give her that self esteem sheet and presented that too. I told her of my achievements last week and she congratulated me, told me I needed to pat myself on the back more and that she’s glad last week actually helped get me off my butt (she said she felt kinda bad about it too, but not so much now that she saw it had a good effect kind of thing too ^^). I agree last week did help, though I definitely wouldn’t wanna go through that again though lol.

We went over the cycle from before real briefly just as a reminder that actually doing things is the best way to break it and to progress and I have this homework sheet consisting of a table with columns for my preconceived thoughts of a situation (which I am to score with a percentage I believe it), my emotions and feelings that arise, and my uhh re-scores and feelings after actually facing and going through the situation. I haven’t actually looked at the sheet since yesterday so I totally winged the explanation just then lol but it’s about linking thoughts and emotions and that’s pretty much the gist of it. I’m kinda nervous about filling it in and I’m leaving it to the end of the week to do it, which is bad, but I’ll at least know what to put in it better by then hopefully.

We went over some of the things I wrote on the self esteem sheet, some of my examples for the unhelpful negative behaviours and we discussed them for a while but only got through a few. She said she’d go over the other ones next time, we agreed I should continue to do what I did last week but maybe try even harder. (There’s lots of small details in the discussions which I can’t remember properly or can’t place in the right time slot rn oh welp ><”)

Then the session ended there (15 mins early) idk why though. But now that I think about it, maybe there was nothing else left to say or not much plan or other things needed to discuss in particular for the last 3 sessions so maybe just try and stretch what content we have on hand to discuss kind of thing? Or maybe she needed to go somewhere like the toilet? lol who knows xD 

I was feeling the session felt pretty short (my explanation also), but wasn’t all that bothered about it tbh, I’m not paying for it or anything and it gave me a little time to do other stuff before meeting with my sis. I plucked up the courage to go to a shop on my own again, I had a few things in mind that I actually wanted to look for which like the counsellor has said before will make it easier to motivate and immerse myself into doing things. I think I might write about this experience on the feelings-thoughts sheet. 

So, I went in, a little uneasy at first, but not as much as if it would have been a place I’ve never stepped foot into before. I perused at my leisure and tried my hardest not to be overly conscious of other people around, which I noted to myself do actually going about their own stuff and don’t pay you any mind at all which lessened the nerves a lot. I found some things I wanted, and this was another relief as I always get that niggling feeling that if I leave without buying they’ll think I stole something (but looking around the internets randomly, I came to know that this is a super common feeling which is comforting and I shouldn’t worry about it too much because so what if I didn’t buy anything, I just couldn’t find anything I wanted and that is totally fine!).

Partway in the last leg of my perusing, my sis phoned me and told me to hurry up and all that stuff and it kinda made me feel real antsy. I continued looking though at a slightly faster pace but she ended up calling outside and told me to hurry up even more and was waiting for me outside so I cut my browsing short and hurried to pay and felt pretty down about it. When paying I queued up behind a group of guys and felt self-conscious but well, they no care really and I got over it and ignored the thought. 

I went to the self serve till (the only kind open, so I wasn’t avoiding or anything) and proceeded to pay and I’m so glad I know how to use them as we use them most of the time my sis goes to the supermarket with me lol but I still was feeling pretty self-conscious and the ‘unexpected item in bagging area’ still gives me nerves and it happened twice to me but the assistant came over and fixed it straight away without me saying anything (which was a relief because I was feeling a little cowardly by then, but I would’ve been a little prouder of myself for actually asking).

I went with my sis to some other shops after that, I voiced that she was being quite mean on the phone and later she apologised, she was in a pretty bad mood in general and also the car park time wasn’t much and most of the bad feeling was dissolved. We then went to some other other shops with my mum in addition and I went off on my own to peruse which was nice though I couldn’t find anything I wanted, but it’s best not to waste monies on things I don’t need anyways. I got kind of sickly on the way home which wasn’t great but the general day was pretty alright.

There was somewhere else I wanted to go and me and my sis planned to go soon after but it was delayed and later I just kind of chickened out and took a nap instead :/ I was really tired and still sickly feeling though. I hope to get this sorted out this week still though, maybe I’ll tag along with my parents this time round, it’ll be okay! ^^

I also went to see a specialist doctor, I got a phone call for the appointment two days before the actual day (probably someone else cancelled) and I took it. I could’ve said no and waited even longer, but I didn’t, because health is important and should be dealt with asap! I wish I could bring myself to apply this to some of my other worries, but I’ll get there. Anyways it went alright, the typical general treatment route, but at least it’s something, now I’m waiting on my regular doc for the next steps. 

The kind of funny thing is though (in reference to my last post or maybe the one before it), is that I have been recommended to take anti-depressants (BUT not for depression) they happen to help with migraines and oversensitivity which affects me all the time pretty much. A lot of medicines help with other conditions they were not primarily made for, I only realised this in the recent years lol. I’m a little wary and I’m hoping that it’ll help, maybe even kill two birds with one stone, but if it doesn’t then oh welp and onto the next thing they recommend. I want to get better every way I can and there’s no harm trying (except maybe side effects ugh) it’s just the stigma thing again, it’s... complicated .__. But it’ll be okay!

In terms of my own art and online dabblings, I actually spent two of the days I did phone orders doodling and editing stuff a little. I wasn’t really going to draw anything seriously but my non serious doodle started off pretty alright and I continued it and finished it, which I kind of felt proud of as usually I start things and never finish them because I get scared to mess it up or think it’s not good enough. It has its flaws of course, I’m such a nit picky person and I know I need to improve, but looking past these things, I really like what I did and am glad I persevered and completed it.

I also tried posting something online, not on here, but I actually did it for once at least! It was nothing amazing, in fact it was really really lame, just a scrawl from another time but I still like it and that’s all that matters, right? Right! I was really struggling over what to write in the descriptions (much like how I spend ages agonising over writing comments) and still keep feeling iffy about what I wrote but it’s actually all fine, so I should stop worrying about it! Hear that silly me? Don’t fret and don’t regret, it’s fine so keep going! :D

Some people (very few) even liked my picture and one person even commented some thumbs up emojis. It’s really nice of them ;w; I don’t think they were bots and I looked at their pages too. The person that commented has a page full of beautiful art and idk I just felt like omg ahhhh they’re so much more amazing then me and super intimidated and wasn’t sure what to do about the comment and still haven’t done anything and it’s been a few days .__.

They probably like loads of peoples stuff though, and also there’s no obligation to have to like their stuff back (though I have a feeling that’s probably why they liked my awful doodle in the first place, to draw attention to their own page, but I shouldn’t assume, that’s bad, maybe they really thought my doodle was okay and kindly wanted to encourage, who knows). I think maybe I’ll like the comment at least, I don’t want to be rude >< I’m just scared that if I do go and like their stuff, I’ll feel obligated to always do it kind of thing, I’m still just so scared of interacting with people (also this person doesn’t speak english it seems and language barriers are my death, but this person didn’t mind it, so uh uh wait I’m being such a baby again ;____;)

I’m seriously overthinking things way too much again!! I get this feeling when I think of people that may have taken their time to read my posts or even the few people that have liked a post or two. I’m seriously very very grateful and would hug you if I could but I don’t know what to do from then and it just keeps swirling and nagging me inside and I’m so sorry >< Overthinking and social awkwardness will surely be the death of me. I need to stop all the uncertainty and what ifs and silly assumptions and just do what I feel! Why is it so hard..? ;^;

I actually got so scared I didn’t post the next small doodle I wanted to, but I need to get over it and just get it done and continue and post the things I’ve really really been wanting to post for months. No one actually cares about all the silly things I think they do, I can’t read minds and I can’t go one thinking that I can. The same for just people in general irl. I was actually a little proud that I was so self-conscious out in public as much recently, that I noticed people are too busy in their own world and that I’m silly for thinking they would expend the brain energy to linger on me negatively. Another mantra sort of thing I’ve been thinking is ‘IDGAF (and no one else does)’ lolol for reals, but it seems to be pretty effective so imma keep it! :>

Losing motivation and becoming disheartened is so easy. I’m going to continue small and simple and build up from there in every aspect and it’ll get easier and I’m gonna keep my grip real tight on that motivation and determination and soak in all my accomplishments no matter how small or insignificant they seem and convert them into even more positive energy! Imma do things!! Imma do lots of things and not get mad at myself even if I don’t manage to do some of them! Baby steps is the way to go! c:

Like always I get a bit apprehensive when writing these or even thinking of doing so, but they are actually very useful! I can sift through and explore my thoughts better now and I can help re-motivate and re-direction myself with them and I even think my writing and expression in general has gotten better! It’s a good thing, it’s an achievement! Be happy silly self! ^^

Worry just makes the world seem all the more scary. Break the cycle, break the cycle, snap it to pieces, crush it into dust and let it fly away in the wind and never return! >< Keep going, reach higher, climb further (without forgetting to take rest stops in between and continue onwards with renewed vigour) past the sky and the stars, you can do it! Moar fancy fancy motivation!! x3

I guess I’ll stop here, I think I’ve got most of the stuff down and there’s stuff I wanna do now that I’ve pieced my motivation back together some ^^ When I go to my drafts to write, I see the to do/dream list I wrote last time and it reminds me of all the things I could do, it definitely needs to be tidied up but it’s nice seeing it! I’m pumped! :3

I hope things go well for myself and everyone out there, go go!

Have a great evening! C:

[whatdimissmotherfuckers]

Impress me with your absurd knowledge

Wordcount: 1557

Genre: Awkwardness. Pure Awkwardness.

Summary: You always wanted to talk to Alexander Hamilton, and talking about a deceased president seems like the right topic to talk about.

Pairing: Alexander x Reader

AU: Highschool

Warnings: Swearing. Awkwardness.

Note: I had this idea after a can of Dr. Pepper and I honestly don’t think this was my best writing, I kinda just wanted to squeeze something out, so i had another fic. Also there happens nothing in this fic. No Kissing, no innuendos. Next time surely tho!!!

"Are you even listening to me?!"

For the fifth time this day, you glimpsed over to the table next to you. A boy named Alexander sat there, together with his friend John, and they were talking, although John seemed like he was rather unimpressed. His freckled face displayed clear annoyance, as he sighed. "No. I'm not. Will you ever shut up Alexander?", he complained, and of course, Alexander didn't listen, but continued to speak about the presentation he was preparing for next week. "But like, he did loads of shit, and I didn't even know! Apparently he traveled a lot to Europe, when he was young. Did you know the peace corps were created by him? Come on, John, doesn't this interest your turtle-loving ass?"Finally, John bothered to answer."What the fuck do turtles have to do with peace corps?" Alexander grinned at him, and  teased him:"Maybe you would now if you had listened to me!"

"No I wouldn't!", John protested, and started to rub his temples. "Well Yeah, but this isn't the point!"

You chuckled. Other than most people in this class, you didn't want Alex to shut up. You loved his persuasive voice, his excellent choice of words, the enthusiasm in every topic he talked about. And the occasional rants where most of his words just consisted of swearing. Starting to draw little, silly doodles into your textbook, you paid more attention to Alexanders extensive talk about John F. Kennedy. Unfortunately, there was no way in hell you could join the conversation. Your knowledge of history or politics was rather basic, and you weren't even a friend of his. Sure, you both had talked, but the conversations mostly consisted of short dialogue about the homework. Now would be the ultimate chance to join him, but of course you ruined it by knowing absolutely nothing special about this topic.

After a few minutes, John had somehow managed to silence Alexander and your eyes glided over to the handsome boy again. He had his long, dark hair tied up into a ponytail, but some of the strands had fallen out, framing his pensive face. His posture seemed rather relaxed, he was bending forward, tapping his pencil repeatedly against his table. A small sigh escaped your lips, before your teacher came into the room and started the English lesson. Looking back at your textbook, where now a dozen of sketches adorned the pages, a seemingly brilliant idea popped into your head. You were sure of the fact that he would mention his presentation again tomorrow, and you had nothing else to do this afternoon, so you might as well could read a few things about Kennedy. And then, tomorrow, you would smoothly start a conversation with him, astonishing him with the amount of information you provided.

Trying not to smile like a Cheshire cat, you started to focus on the lesson, before your teacher could notice your absence of mind and use it against you.

A couple hours later, you found out that your oh-so-brilliant plan was a pain in the ass, as you opened the second can of your favourite drink for the day. It was already past your usual bedtime, and still, you were sitting at your desk, googling everything there was to know about JFK. There was a lot, you have noticed that. Your head began to hurt, as you started to read again, trying to comprehend what you were reading. With every word you were reading, you began to feel pathetic. What were you even doing, trying to impress a boy with your insane knowledge of a deceased president? Congratulations, how interesting. Surely, everyone would love you tomorrow.   But despite the fact that you felt silly, it was still worth a shot. With this conclusion, you held back a yawn and started to scribble something down.

Taking a sip out of the drink in front of you, your thoughts started to drift away, back to your class and Alexander. His coal-black eyes, always full of passion- or annoyance, whenever Thomas was speaking. A smile plastered onto your face. The debates between one of your most popular classmates were interesting, and became even more interesting and amusing, when the two started insulting each other. Well, at this point, their teacher usually interfered, but until then? Pure Comedy.

A sigh escaped your lips, as you noticed, that you came off-topic again. Frustrated at the fact, that you couldn't concentrate for five minutes, you slammed your head against the desk, immediately regretting the decision, because you felt the pain that came with in. While massaging your forehead, you managed to sweep aside your notes, and watched them slowly floating to the floor. You groaned. "What’s wrong with me today?", you muttered while crawling around under your desk, picking up the pieces of paper and bumping your head against the tabletop. This was going to be an exhausting night.

As you headed for the classroom, you had completely regretted every second you spent yesterday night with trying to read about a person that meant nothing to you. You were pretty sure your eye bags were thinking the same, and you didn't even bother to try and cover them up. Might as well just proudly show the world that you stayed awake till 1 am. Yawning, you took a sit, slamming your school folder on your table, gaining the attention from nearly anyone in the room.  

"Wow, you look almost as bad as I do." Alexander commented, and stood up, to walk over towards you. Overwhelmed with the sudden confrontation, you didn't managed to say something logical, instead you blurted out:" JFK attempted to enter the Army's Officer Candidate School in 1940, but was medically disqualified for his chronic lower back problems."  Processing what you actually said, you knitted you eyebrows in confusion and looked back to Alexander, who was equally confused.

"That's an odd way to start a conversation", he stated, while pushing your school supplies to the side so he could sit on the table. He cracked a smile, making you blush in an instant.

"Uhm, sorry. I don't know why I said that", you stuttered, rubbing your temples and trying to act as if weren't flustered at all.  "I mean, don't get me wrong, I like everything you say, but it's just an unusual topic", Alexander explained, tying his hair back in a casual way.

"What?", you asked confusedly. Did your crush just say, that he liked everything you say? You unconsciously pinched your arm to assure yourself that you were awake.

"Well I mean, you normally don't talk, but you always listen. And I like that about you, but I like it even more when you actually say something. So tell me, what was the reason of this very interesting fact that would fit perfectly in my presentation?" He leaned forwards, staring at you in a teasing way, raising his eyebrows.

Suave Motherf*cker.

It was too late to be shy, wasn't it? You decided, that it was the best to just be brutally honest. "Well", you began, resulting in his face coming even closer to yours. "Yes?" Alexander tilted his head slightly.

"I might've tried to memorize the whole life story of John F. Kennedy yesterday night, just to start a conversation with you and impress you with my nonexistent knowledge of History." you mumbled and noticed, how his facial expression slowly changed.

It was obvious how he tried to hold back his laugh. "Laugh all you want" Alexander, immediately following your suggestion, burst into laughter for a solid minute. You slowly sank into your chair, feeling your face growing more red with every second that past, the other students already looking at you.

After Alexander calmed down, he looked at you guiltily. "I'm so sorry, but you didn't had to go the lengths of freaking learning the topic of my presentation just to talk to me! That's crazy! You could've told me something about your goldfish that died last year and I would be more than willing to listen!" Chuckling, he continued:" But if you really want to, I'm not gonna let your efforts go to waste. So, Did you know what Kennedy did in-" You interrupted him, before he could speak any further. This may have been the first time you did, actually. "Okay, Okay, Let's not do that." You decided, but beamed at him anyways.  He returned the smile, scratching the back of his head. "Well okay, then do you wanna talk about-" Alexander was interrupted once again, this time by the teacher, who apparently was also listening to the conversation.

"Alexander Hamilton, if you would kindly return to your place, so I can continue this lesson, thank you", Mr. Adams sad, his face clearly showed annoyance.

Startled, the boy slipped off the table he was sitting on,  pointing at you with finger guns. " Wanna get coffee after school?", he asked, wiggling his eyebrows while he walked over to his own table. "Sure", you giggled, and winked at him.  As the lesson began, you felt like your plan had succeeded after all. Not in the way you wanted, but somehow, it worked out in your favour. Excited for the appointment after school, you curiously glanced over to his table and immediately met his eyes. This was going to be a fun day.