#if my parents gave me covid im going to be very upset

[bigmammallama5]

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[pebblethief]

ok slightly longer ramble abt the autism assessment

going under a cut bc itll probably get wordy but i want you all to know that the guy looked like a discount oscar isaac. which is to say still distractingly hot lol

ok so overall it really wasnt too bad! i still hate talking about myself but its SO much easier to just...dump about your personality than your trauma like u gotta do w therapists

sure i dont like talking about my insufficiencies but telling someone a billion dumb stories about how as a kid i prefered my friends parents company or that yes i did very much notice that he put the hand gel down differently and yes it would be nice for it to go back please lol

he used the “Diagnostic Interview for Social and Communication Disorders (DISCO)” thing for this, if u are curious (and i think some of you are thinking about it so maybe u wanna know specifics)

i dont think it was worded the same as this one (this is a pdf link, jic youre on your phone), he had less stuff about school/my childhood and more about how i am now. but same general format and types of questions

he was very nice when i was explaining that i will overexplain if im not sure the other person 100% gets it and then proceeded to do EXACTLY that to explain it lmfao. he laughed and was like yeah that sounds about right

he also managed to pull out some symptoms that i hadnt even thought about like “if a friend was upset would you put your arm around them to comfort them” and that straight up never would have occurred to me to do. thats not what i was thinking of whenever i came across that question

just overall he was very nice and never made me feel weird and knew how to ask questions so i wouldnt just clam up. a much better experience than any other type of brain assessment ive ever had!

he also emailed me to confirm im on the waiting list. which is unfortunately 12-18 months RIP. he said theyre trying to hire more people but theyve got massive covid backlog so. at least he gave me the “ok im officially not allowed to say but” thing so i can feel like less of a faker

[mogai-sunflowers]

(Thank you! Btw i dont rly care if you post this or delete it./gen. My in laws suck and dont care if they get covid.)

So my in-laws are truckers and they drive all over the country. They are white and super like pro-trump anti-vaxx " lets go brandon" types, they know that I'm native, a leftist and lgbt. They also know that i have an autoimmune disease and getting my vaccination has been a complicated process so i havent been able to get it yet. They refuse to get vaccinated. Lovely. They only get to come to our town once every 2 months because of their job.

So i have a nephew( for clairfication, his parents are like 19, im 20. They are very young parents so im not some creeper 30 yr old in ur inbox nfjsjd) who is only 6 months old. He recently contracted covid because his dad, my gfs brother, is anti-vaxx and his mom is complacent with his care. They recently went to Florida and north Carolina with basically no masks so its really a draw of the hat where my nephew got it. I really respected his mom, my sister in law, until recently as a result of her carelessness. My nephew could very well die.

Now heres the thing, you'd think that if you travel across the country and your life depends on your work, you wouldnt want to spend a week around a covid-positive 6 month old? Not my in laws! They've been around him for 2 days straight.

Now i wouldn't really give a shit about this and i still really dont cause they are like 40 and can make their own health decisions. What i dont like is the passive aggression they have towards me and my gf for wanting to stay seperated and make our own health decisions. My autoimmune disorder is disabling, i cant get sick or i could die. My gf is our our only source of income and her work makes her stay home for 3 days if she shows any sign of any illness so she cant get sick or we wont be able to pay our bills. Not to even mention that we share a bathroom with her parents and her brother and i only started getting a cold once they showed up. I swear if they gave me covid-

Im upset cause not only are they being irresponsible with their own health, they are also putting my 6 month old nephews health at even more risk( if they didnt cause the risk to begin with-) but also are attempting to put me and my gfs health at risk. Wtf.

oh jeez anon, i'm so sorry about all of that. i really resonate with the anger at them not caring about protecting others. i'm lucky enough to have caring family members who have the same strong views I do, so i can only imagine having family like that, but that's honestly been one of the hardest things about the pandemic for me, having to go from my naive "love is beautiful the world is beautiful we all care for each other" pov to the reality of "most people don't give a shit about protecting others they only care about their own comfort" and i know logically that's not true it's just. hard to know that when you're surrounded by heartless people. so i may not know exactly what that's like for you but i definitely resonate with what you're going through and i'm really sorry it's been so tough. i wish the best for you and your gf and i rlly hope your nephew pulls through. sending all my love anon /p

[sisterssafespace]

Assalamu alaykum🤍

Im the 🤍 anon :)

I just wanted to get something off my chest: my mother is muslim like me and dresses modestly but when i want to got to school wearing, long, modest clothes she forces me to wear jeans and a shirt or something like that.

She lets me wear the headscarf tho and approves of it, so I do not see why she behaves like that - or rather, I see why, but I don't understand it: she thinks I look ridiculous and out of place with long gowns and such things, and that "every place has its own dresscode" (though there is no ruling that prohibits long gowns at school) and she cares about what will people say. Also she seems to think that just because I am skinny and with no curves I don't have to dress modestly - my sister, who is far more curvy, gets the opposite treatment: what looks halal on me looks haram on her, and my mom always tells her that she dresses shamelessly and that she should put on larger, longer clothes.

I don't understand that and it makes me so ashamed that I've not been able to win this argument and that day after day I go to school in skinny jeans, astaghfirullah.

And I am just 15 (in a few months I'll be 16) so I have no credit card and no money to buy my own wardrobe, I really don't know what to do.

For now I am wearing the headscarf and see what she does, I don't know what she'll do when/if I tell her that I feel like becoming a munaqqabah, that it is the scholarly opinion that is more believable to me (for this at least I'm grateful for COVID-19, i can just put mask and headscarf and feel like I have a half-niqab).

Wa alaykum assalamu wa rahmatu Allahi wa barakatuhu dear 🤍🤍

I hope you are doing well and that you are staying strong and patient steadily walking your way on Allah's path 🤍🌼

So when I first read your ask, this came to my mind:

لا طاعة لمخلوق في معصية الخالق

‘There is no obedience to any created being if that means disobedience to the Creator.’ - The Messenger of Allaah, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. Saheeh al-Jaami’ #7520

And on my way to Google the English translation for it, I found this detailed fatwah on this website, I attached the link so hopefully you get to check it and ponder upon it. I have a question tho, is your father or older brother or grandfather maybe present in the picture? If yes, what does he/ do they think? Do they support you or your mother's perspective? Because you can get the support of someone who hopefully can talk to her and convince her to change her position towards your issue.

And I know you said you just wanted to get this off of your chest, but I have a few ideas that I hope you can try, and hopefully in shaa Allah they'll work out for you:

1) Make duāa for her! You have already said that she approves of you wearing the headscarf, and that's great, so the next step is that she accepts the more modest style of clothing, and for that make duāa that Allah swt soften her heart towards the idea.

2) Some things can't be accomplished at once, some changes need to happen gradually. How about you switch to long skirts first, when you go to school, but keep the shirts? Maybe she can accept that? And then you start wearing longer shirts? How about your sister's clothes? Because you mentioned that you can't afford to buy your own clothes, how about you borrow your sister's larger longer items and make a nice outfit that can at the same time be accepted by your mother's standards and be comfortable for you. Some girls wear very baggy shirts with jeans. I say that you can be patient with your mother and take her slowly through the transition so that when it finally happens it won't come as a shock? But tbh as a Muslim girl who gave up jeans not so long ago and who has been facing resistance from her "quite religious" family, I feel you sis and I know how hard it must be for you. And I am so sorry, being forced to wear jeans and whatnot must be making you feel uncomfortable, sübhanallah, but at the same time, honey, you are only 15, legally you are still a child, and technically, you are still under your parents' custody.. it is a tough situation, and Allahuma barik you sound very mature for your age, and it is very clear the level of faith and love for Allah swt and for His beautiful religion in your heart, Allahuma barik laki 🤍🤍

However, I could tell you to pull something radical, like tear all your jeans or burn them or sth, but I am afraid that won't end well and it will only upset your mother more and lead to more complicated problems and conflicts. So, that's a no, I definitely do not recommend it .. 😅

3) my third and last idea would be to actually try and win her over? Try to get closer to her? I think some mothers (please read: most of them) they just want to seem and feel in control of something. Like, she just wants to feel powerful? Like she has some sort of control? So she is controlling the weaker members of the family that are you and your sister (it's a hypothesis not a fact, Allahu aālam). So how about, you make her your friend, you show her outfits that are both modest and cute, there is a lot of content online, modest websites (especially Turkish products) that are at the same time cute, fashionable, and modest in a very pleasing way. I also follow an modest Instagrammer who lives in Scandinavia and who wears long sleeved dressed from European brands like Zara or H&M (which could be ankle length or a bit above) but wears a long black skirt under them so that she is all covered up. It is a very creative hack. So my point is, maybe show her that modest dressing can still be cute and age-appropriate, show her outfits, designs, dresses, ask for her opinion like " oh what do you think of this dress...? Or what about this long skirt with this long shirt, I think they would look cute on me, what do you think? .. " Oh but you know your mother best so you know she needs to be very chill, in a good mood, when you want to bring up something like that 😅

Allahu al'mustaān habibty, Allah swt has given you a very challenging task at such a young age, which only reflects that He swt loves you just as much and considers you to be capable of taking this challenge, Alhamdulillah! 🤍🤍

I will be looking forward to an update, a positive one in shaa Allah! Don't forget to make duāa that Allah swt change and soften her heart!

May Allah swt fill your beautiful heart with patience and persistence, to keep steadfast on his path, ameen 🤍🤍

Stay safe my dear.

Fi Aman Allah.

- A. Z. 🍃

[kingsephir]

My mom was talking yo me the other day and honestly making an effort to understand me. But like, she just can’t. But she said like, “I feel like I don’t even know you anymore” (not in a harsh way more in a oh im realizing this sorta way). And this evening I was thinking about it at first like, aw maybe we are becoming closer and healing? But then I realized the reason she doesn’t know me anymore is because she blocked me and wouldn’t talk to me during three of the most formative months of my life. (Accepted getting a job in Japan, getting married, healing from my first ever surgery, working through dealing with a pandemic etc.) And then when she started talking to me again I just unfriended her. Because of her horrid attitude and how she treated me when I needed her. Well, I decided that I didn’t need her. And that’s why she doesn’t know anything about me.

I wish I could have told her that or talked about that instead. It was my last chance to really… and one could say, why don’t you just forgive her? And idk if I don’t forgive her or not, it’s more like I just don’t trust her anymore. She doesn’t like me as a person. She’s said it before in so many words. That if she wasnt my mother and we were the same age we wouldn’t be friends. So, I just gave up. I cannot go through a disappointment like that again. I would not be able to handle it. I mean I would have to handle it but I wouldn’t let me get into that situation again… Never.

My mom said my dad was crying because I won’t come see them. But they wont get vaccinated or take necessary precautions. My mom will not wear a mask. (She just doesnt go into places that require them she’s not a Karen lmao) and they wont get vaccinated. I just want to forget the pain. I almost wish I could forget about them- I know it sounds terrible but it hurts too much. It’s too bothersome. I have too much to deal with that isn’t them. But I can’t, and I love my Dad dearly. He’s smart too so idk why he’s so afraid of vaccines. I don’t get it and I mostly try not to care. I can’t change their mind. It’s also not my job. I don’t/have/ to do anything.

My MIL keeps talking about me visiting after im in Japan for this holiday or that. And it’s like, my husband can go, and I love you but I have a family and limited time. If there is a holiday I will be with my parents. I like, can’t not. They wont get a vaccine and are both high risk so like, how long will it be? Will I ever be able to see them. It’s like those people who protest that requiring vaccine proof will cause inequality. Right now it does. It’s not necessarily that I like being here more. It’s that I am safer. If i go anywhere until the Japanese quarantine thing is gone I gotta quarantine to get back into the country and that’s plus 14 days to my trip. You know? Not gonna happen. I know she is sad and excited. I feel bad for taking away her son but I also know they are proud of him for going and starting something for himself. My family always kind of looked down on people who moved away. Left their parents alone. I keep saying James can come visit anytime he wants he can go anywhere he wants. And they’re like oh he can’t leave you and it’s like yes he can. And he will. He will go see his family he deserves it and he needs to. I keep saying 50% is better that 0%. No I can’t go anywhere this fall or winter. It’s the same answer everytime. No I don’t want to spend all my vacation in Turkey seeing people I don’t know. I want to see my family and then spend time alone.

I’m more and more introverted since covid. So much so that often times when I come home from a gathering I cry because I’m so overwhelmed. Im not sad or anything just overwhelmed. Jamey is a little upset by this becuase I was so outgoing before. But I’ve been traumatized in 2020/2021 because of the pandemic because of my surgery and because of my mother. And on top of that I’m moving to a different country and making a huge change. I’ve never been much good with change and yet im constantly seeking it out. So I’m just dealing with things. As an only child I need to be alone and though he is a delight and very easy to be around it’s not the same as being alone. I’m almost never alone anymore and that makes my ability to socialize even lower.

These are just things im thinking about lately… :<

[uncookspaget]

I know I’m not a big blog and have like any followers, infact I love that. This is my space away from reality, friends, family and I love it, there’s no stress just stories and art and I get to come and go as I please. And I don’t have friends I need to check up on here, which sounds kinda rude but I like this space as my “me time”. So to say. This is my no responsibilities space. My silent appreciation and support of things that help me escape.

But the last month has been so fucking wild, so I’m going to vent rant here for a bit, first let me say this, I am trying get disability, because I have health issues and learning disabilities, so I had to sit and do an assessment for like 6 hours or something, back in November. But anyway it was to figure out what I might have come to find out I have a severe disability with numbers, anything to do with numbers, and then I found out I have autism, which not really a surprise I did my research before, like I have with other stuff. I know myself so well that I can go online research stuff and already know what I have before a professional tells me.(always get professional advice!!!!) So when I found out my mom laughed cause she knew that I already I knew that before being told. But anyway I have autism, severe disability with numbers, (I’m going to brag about myself a little cause I have something to be proud of) my reading and writing are that of a college level, and I have a extremely fast processing speed. So this was all very validating for me.

Then I guess like a week later? I’m sitting in my apartment with my mom, dad, and younger sister, we hear the fire alarm go, and well we’ve lived here for like 5.5 years and in those years we’ve had three fires, and multiple false alarms to the point we thought oh it’s nothing someone burned lunch, right? So my dad goes knocking on doors and I go with him, a lot of old people live in the building and might not hear it, so as we go to the fire doors he opens it and black smoke poured out of the one door and I screamed not go in there so now we know it’s bad, like really bad, like I’ve seen movies and shows and those cant express the very real fear I’ve felt then. So I run back to my mom in the apartment and she said grab the papers and some clothes, my sister shows up again (turns out she went out and then ran BACK INTO THE BUILDING TO GET US!!) and she’s grabbing we’re rushing by the time we open the door, not even 3 minutes have past, it looks like night, darker than night, I can’t see our emergency exit sign. So when I saw that all I could think is we might die, like this could be it. Me and my sister wanted to go off the balcony but my mom is 61 and we’re on the second floor, so she gets me a wet hand towel and tells me to crawl so went through all that smoke to the side stairwell that isn’t in the direction of the fire. We get out but I can’t breathe I’m coughing so hard I’m gonna puke in front of all these people so I’m spitting and I can’t breathe and I’m crying. And my sister is crying, and I can see the fire and I can’t look away. Like this is real, like more real than I can ever imagine. They had two ambulances there and my dad took me to one, and eventually I went to the hospital by myself, finally my mom and sister could come see me I spent three hours there, and went through three oxygen tanks I honestly should’ve done a fourth one but I wanted to leave and the doctor was no where to be seen and the nurse I had was kinda an idiot, like that sounds rude but my mask fell on the floor then he was going to give me the same one then he dropped my new mask on the floor and almost gave it to me but sister wouldn’t let him, so I can say he was an idiot. I still haven’t processed anything from that day. I can’t follow along with time. It passes but I’m not here and I’m not there at the fire, it’s kinda like floating. I’m conscious but don’t know how many days have past and I don’t know what day or time it is, I’m so confused I couldn’t remember when we had the fire, my mom had to tell me it was a week before then when I thought it was. We stayed in a hotel from the Friday it happened and then the Sunday after 6 o’clock ish they said it was okay to come back in, but when I went there to see it I couldn’t even be in there the smoke and chemicals were everywhere in everything, they said that it was cleaned it wasn’t there was soot on our furniture and appliances, I went there a few time the first week, my mom needed to call the insurance company, (she doesn’t own a cell phone, she’s 61 and will never own one) and I couldn’t even be inside I would sit on our balcony. Now I’m at another hotel with my mom while my sister and dad stay at our apartment, they have ocd and don’t want to be anywhere else.

It’s now been two weeks and next Friday will be three, I can’t stay at our apartment cause I’ve been getting nose bleed, headaches, I can’t breathe. I can’t even walk around like normal anywhere without wheezing. Now we’re gonna have to move, but the prices are insane, and it would have to be a three bedroom not two like we have, I’m almost 20 and I share with my 18 year old sister we’ve never had our own room. And I’ve packed away almost all my stuff away in storage so cleaners can come, and I don’t have my paints, so I can’t even de-stress that way. Not to mention I’ve been having problems with my oldest friend, and I don’t really know how deal with this situation on top of it all, and yes it’s all the small and big things adding up, and I know it’ll mean nothing one day, but for now I’m allowed to feel these things and I’m allowed to be upset. I know people won’t read this in fact I don’t even know if I’ll post it, but I just need to release a little bit.

Also with Covid-19 being so much worse then it was 2 weeks ago I can’t do much except go from my hotel to the apartment, which isn’t good for me. Did I mention I have compromised health? Lol yeah I think I forgot to mention I have asthma, so when I got to the stores or go out to get food I’m risking a lot, especially with old parents like my dad is almost 69 and my mom also 61 and has compromised health, and no body is taking this shit seriously. I’m scared for me and my family and others. But when I go out nobody respects my space or any other persons space, like do you not get it? Life is real dangerous right now and you don’t care? Maybe it’s cause I’m angry and have been through trauma and stress, and I am young and look healthy but IM NOT! I’m young but I’m not healthy! I have asthma! Which yeah other people have it worse but I have no where to go I can’t stay and isolate in my apartment and I can’t really stay in my hotel if that happens. Not to mention if the hotel shuts down. I’m scared like really when I think about it I feel kinda sick from stress. Why can’t people try to understand the situation? It’s scary and dangerous and you don’t know peoples situation. I’m so done and tired, please everybody be respectful and keep you’re distance. Stay safe and stay home people. Don’t risk it, it’s not worth yours or anybody else’s life. Be strong we got this. Peace and love to you all ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[ghostofhallownest]

cw: long-ass COVID rant, ft. a real shit eugenics-y quote. bc it’s all finally Got To Me.

so. parents gave me COVID 2 days before i got vaxxed w the bivalent booster + the flu shot + i didn’t know bc i started feeling the symptoms exactly…2 hours after i got jabbed 🫠

and honestly? and im…im SO upset. i cried. i will probably cry more, for awhile.

i try so hard to be careful. i’ve let go of so many things i desperately wanted to do or would have tried to make happen if we lived in a world that, if it weren’t pandemic-free, at least fucking tried to respect Other People, because “personal responsibility” or whatever the fuck will never be enough.

i had the chance to visit one of my dear friends, and simultaneously to see a play that as far as we knew was a limited-run adaptation of a book i hold very, very dear. i had everything in order. and then the 2021 summer wave of COVID hit and i just…wouldn’t risk it. i didn’t get a refund on my flight because the airline claimed to no longer provide COVID-related refunds.

i had the chance to see one of my favorite bands live in concert. the concert required proof of vaccination and/or a negative test. i masked. i left the event early. and i still caught the delta variant, perhaps at the concert, perhaps at an airport. and since then? i don’t do much of anything i want to.

my friends around the country want me to visit them. i go to the ones i can afford to drive to, sometimes—and so i haven’t seen most of them since 2020 or before.

and im just. really really hurt honestly that everything i tried to do and everything i wanted to do and didn’t wasnt enough, that i still got sick bc my own parents can only half-ass caring, because, in my father’s words, “some people will just die and the world can’t stop for them.”

being infected with delta is still fucking with my lungs. i used to, and enjoyed!!! walking for 2+ miles daily. i was a swimmer with a decade of swim team behind me; i would swim laps decently, if not at the level i was as a teenager (which lmao wasnt anything special, despite the history, i promise), without Perishing.

i tried to swim a few weeks ago for the first time since COVID. it was like drowning; for days afterward, i couldn’t breathe properly. mentally, it felt like crossing off something i used to love: “guess i can’t do that again—for now, i hope”

i cant walk and talk at the same time now; pacing circles in my living room on the phone leaves me gasping awkwardly between words in short sentences. my friends used to ask if i was alright; now i suppose they’ve adjusted, too. walking and talking through a mask is near-impossible; ask me if i’m going to bitch about it. i went from “i’m not the peak of physical health, but i can function about the way you’d expect,” to “i’m using this grocery cart like a funky little walker because i’m Having A Time Of It getting to the goddamn bread isle”

it’s shit!!!! it’s such fucking shit and i didn’t WANT this again and i dont want anyone else to have it!!!! other people have had lasting symptoms SO much worse than mine and i can’t fathom shrugging this off when it’s the worst fucking roulette wheel!!!

god, i want this to be over, too. i want to visit my friends, i want to see the book i love adapted to its award-winning play, i want to go to fucking graduate school and sit in classes and not be terrified that the majority of the class isn’t wearing masks and someone in here is sick because of a shit sick policy! i want to go to live events and not weigh the cost of whether it might earn me a 3rd infection, and what that might do to me long-term!! i’m so sick of sitting in my house with my cats and my silly little internet connection!!!!

im so tired of letting things go that i would so desperately look forward to

anyway, if you read this far…wear a fucking mask, at least. please. tightly-sealed n95s are ideal, but if you look into it? literally any mask reduces the chances of infection DRAMATICALLY if all parties are masking.

[lokbobpop]

Forgive

transitive verb. 1 : to cease to feel resentment against (an offender) : pardon forgive one's enemies. 2a : to give up resentment of or claim to requital (see requital sense 1) for forgive an insult. b : to grant relief from payment of forgive a debt.

Forgive” never meant “untie.” The root of “forgive” is the Latin word “perdonare,” meaning “to give completely, without reservation.” (That “perdonare” is also the source of our English “pardon

Forgive for give forge ive for gave for g ive

Writing forgive

I have written this word a million times it feels but of cause i haven’t it just feels that lets say one thousand within my process to life as this is how it is said. ‘I forgive myself for allowing and accepting’ this is it this has changed my whole life as it were by forgiving myself many many times ive actually let go of what it is that has been keeping me down it wa s only myself anchoring me down im pulling up the weight the mind has give me to carry to the burdens i think are real but never was real to be able to let them go so i cant live life fully.

Reading forgive

I first came to know about forgiving myself was after a book i read by a don someone it said to write out al you want to forgive about yourself or another so i did i went under my favorite tree when had now been bulldozes down and lent up against it and write then all out one by one and yes after the were all done i was great i felt lighter better but it wasnt until i found Desteni i really found out what self forgiveness could really do for me it has changed my life it has given me the opportunity to live this life to be the best life i could have to be happy to not be weighed by my mind every little even means something like the bus ride home just now where i old guy was angry at me for not wearing my mask properly so I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the anger to come up with me today on the bus when an elderly man got upset at me for not wearing my mask properly i see now his fear of catching covid was very valid and my refusal was just out of my ego being knocked by i guy i felt had no right to speak to me in that manor and not realizing how selfish and spiteful i was being by not obeying his right to be scared of me with having my mask down low and all my being upset was just ego of how dare you do that to me like who do you think you are talking to me this white women and you are just some old guy you don’t even know me came up within me which is to totally unacceptable i see realize and understand now that i should respect others whether its in fear or not this is there right and i have no place to put them or another in danger.

I think I definitely dont forgive enough i should definitely forgive myself much more than i do its like ok ive go this I understand what i have done wrong so i don’t need to forgive it but i do it just ends the problem better by forgiving it should i say.

How it has been hard to forgive some people like my alcoholic father ive been hanging on to not forgiving him like i think or should i say feel that as i dont do it he will be punished in some why but its not him at all being punished it me punishing myself only by even doing this he has nothing ot to with my hate for him he’s fine where ever he is in life its only me with the problem he’s Scott free as it were lol im missing the point of of freeing myself from him and what he did to me i missing me in this and only see in its him and my blame my blame doesnt hurt him at all no but it hurts me yes it hurts me big time so I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the blame to com up within towards my father for who the was as a parent to wards me and how i blame him for the way i feel now and for many years that the was a bad father yes he was a bad father but who i am within that is whats that matters so im forgiving myself for carrying blame towards him for what i feel he did to my childhood because i did see realize and understand i am exactly the same as him angry pissed off with life and that all i need to have done was take my own responsibility for my own thoughts and feeling towards him to heal me because thats all that is left is thoughts nothing real just thoughts of the past which need not affect me now in any way what so ever.

Well I think i could spend days writing out self forgiveness hey yes maybe i could do a self forgiveness day or just do more as i go along i think this would be better idea.

To forgive is to release your self from yourself your mind which you have come to believe is you

A what i called a mean girl just came to mind she was angry and I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the fear and revenge i have for her and towards her to come up within me as an energy that is is nt real that really i do love her and i see that she is in anger just like me and we were stuck in anger energy I forgive my fear towards her and revenge i held against her.

I forgive myself of so many things in my life all the trial and tribulations i have had that i have inflected to my physical over and over again that i feel sometimes despot works and i can’t see myself heal and think shit why am i not getting better a;l that has got better is one growth under my eye and wanting more things to so within me to feel normal heathy me I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the disappointment within myself right now that ive not done better and have judged myself to be still back of the pack within comparison to others within process that i want I stand gratification as most do now without seeing i need to clear pathways within me to move better and that i am getting there i am doing it and its ok where i am as this is where i am meant to be right here.

Saying forgive

There’s this warmth from the word within me like i forgive me im sorry for what i do and i will learn from what i ahve done wrong to be a the best version of me yes this is a process and im in it.

The thought of having ot forgive people i dont want to forgive because i think they deserve my anger but they no nothing of my anger they feel nothing of my anger so its only myself that suffers hey so why do i do this to myself why would I punish myself when i havent done anything wrong its fucking nuts to even think i do that lol

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to feel down in the dumps right now to see myself as not good enough and putting myself down with my process i will get there i will do this this is but the mind this is not me I couldn’t possibly ever get down this would be a complete impossibility for me as my real self doesn do this get down so it has to be the mind then bringing in a poor me lol Yep hell o mind i will find you hunt you down a kill you lol.

Sf

Does this definition support me no and yes a bit of both going on here i could definitely do better than i am doing with my self forgiveness and see where i am living in the mind more often but the more i do the more i will heel im sure of this i need to apply myself and just keep doing it :) go girl

Forgive to give

Forgive

To release my from my mind to be able to live my best life ever

To release mechanism the keys to my upmost freedom and to help others see there potential within themselves.

I will and do use this word to live the best possible life in this my last life on this earth in my physical