#if my pages and pages of meta are any indication

[theriverbeyond]

how do we know in the books that john is indigenous? can you say more about how his indigeneity is important to his story?

hello! so there is a word of god post on race (doesn't mention John but mentions that Gideon is "mixed Maori"), BUT I frankly don't think word of god statements are worth any weight without actual in-text support (see: the "dumbledore is gay" situation). SO!

Specific evidence that John Gaius is Maori, as revealed in Nona the Ninth:

When he is listing his education, John mentions having gone to Dilworth School (John 20:8). Dilworth is an all boys boarding school in Auckland and accepts students based on financial need instead of academic or sporting achievements. Demographics appear to be about 70% low income Maori boys, indicating that it is highly likely that John is Maori

John reports that P- said he looked like a "Maori-TV pink panther" (John 15:23) when his eyes turned gold. Maori TV is a TV station that is focused primarily on Maori culture & language revitalization, with presumably all or mostly Maori hosts, and tbh I don't see why P- would say this unless John was himself Maori

John uses a te reo Māori phrase ("kia kaha, kia māia") (John 5:20) when he is saying goodbye to the corpses in the cryo lab before the power is shut off. Though it is possible he said this as a non-Maori kiwi, but in combination with the previous two points of evidence I think this all very strongly points to him being Maori

He also renames his daughter Kiriona Gaia, "Kiriona" being just literally the name "Gideon" in te reo Māori

TLT is not a series that hands you anything on a silver platter but to ME this is all pretty solid proof

Why is this relevant to The Locked Tomb?

In Nona the Ninth, we learn that before he completed apotheosis and ate the solar system, John was basically trying to save the earth from capitalism-caused climate change. Climate justice and the rights of indigenous people over their own land are deeply tied together, in the same way that climate catastrophe and capitalism/ imperialism/ colonialism are linked. disclaimer that this is NOT my area of study and others have definitely said it better; this is just the basic gist as I understand it, but on quick search I found some sources here and here if you want to do some reading.

TLT is not a series that hands you anything on a silver platter, but i don't think it is a stretch to see John as an indigenous man trying to save the earth and getting ignored and shut down at every turn by primarily western colonial powers (PanEuro, the USA) who declare him a terrorist and then as a reader thematically connecting that to the experience of indigenous climate activists IRL

there are absolutely TLT meta posts that have discussed this before me; tumblr search is nonfunctional and I have been looking for an hour and a half and cannot find anything specific even though i KNOW i reblogged multiple posts about this in the first few weeks following NTN's release. sad & I am sorry

I think that by the time the books take place, John is 10k years removed from the cultural context he grew up in, with the Nine Houses having become a genocidal colonial power in their own right (with more parallels to be made between John's forever war for the resources of literal life energy and like, oil wars), but I also think that John Gaius is a fictional character who can represent and symbolize multiple different things in service of telling a story. (not to mention the potential thematic parallels being made to how oppressed people sometimes are pressed into replicating the power dynamics of their oppressors and continuing the cycle--now that is a tumblr post i KNOW i read last year and definitely cannot find right now, once again sad & I am sorry)

How Radical Was John Gaius, Really is a forum thread that was locked by the moderators after 234534645674564 pages of heated debate

[avelera]

"Nice is Different than Good" Character Interpretation: Hob Gadling as Kind of a Bastard

Ok, slightly controversial take on Hob Gadling Is Kind of a Bastard that I've been toying with. It runs counter to some wonderful let me be clear, amazing fanon I've seen in some fics, so this is much more me going, "Hey, here's a way to do it different that might work better in different stories fan writers might want to tell," and not to invalidate other takes or even to put forth that I think this is necessarily true of Hob in a meta sense, it's just shining a light on the text from a different direction, y'know?

Hob as Neutral Evil (credit to Winter on the big dreamling server for this concept!)

I'm obsessed with the idea that Hob is neutral evil on ye olde D&D alignment chart because it makes so much sense if the axis for evil is primarily based on selfishness.

Primary evidence? How casually he talks in 1489 about having done a bit of soldiering and banditry. Those jobs are about killing people. Maybe not all the time as a bandit, ideally, but even then it's about taking their stuff. There is absolutely zero remorse in Hob's tone about being a soldier and a bandit just because he's at his most wide-eyed innocent and has since picked up a trade.

Hob as Politically Conservative until at least 1789 but possibly until 1989

Hob as far as I can tell is a model of the white male middle class existence in England throughout what we define as more or less the "modern era". As far as I can tell, there's no indication at any point prior to 1789 that Hob rocked the boat or was at all out of step with the Powers That Be.

In general, I kind of see Hob as always just this side of the "wrong side of history" and I personally find it more interesting when that's where we find him. And not in a grand sense but in a "middle of the road" sense of just going along with the day to day accepted levels of harm and evil caused by societal momentum. Generally speaking, only a very small percentage of the population takes active part in moving the needle towards good at any given time on a variety causes, and I tend to see Hob is generally speaking outside of all those minorities of do-gooders, except when it comes to taking care of his immediate friends and family. Which is a pretty average place to be.

Indeed, when it comes to the Wat Tyler rebellion, it's my personal headcanon that Hob was more likely on the side of the soldiers putting DOWN the rebellion on behalf of the local lords, and unlikely to have been interested in or part of the cause of greater equality in England. The fact he's a soldier drinking with his mates openly in a tavern when people around him are talking about Wat Tyler and he's blithely ignoring the discussion is where I get that sense.

Indeed, I believe (though I don't know where to cite it, even in the English Civil Wars, Hob was canonically on the side of the monarchy. So jot that down as Hob being pro-monarchy.

While, yes, I believe post 1789 he learned to be less of a piece of shit about taking active part if horrific industrial-level cruelty, I don't see evidence he became a superhero after that. The one bit of "on the page"altruism we see from him is him flipping a coin to Lushing Lou and telling an obvious alcoholic to go get a drink so she stops pestering his friend by offering herself to him as a prostitute, something Hob seems entirely comfortable with.

In 1989 when Hob gets out of his sleek convertible, dressed like a stock trader, he uses the Financial Times to shield himself from the rain, a periodical that apparently was just lying around in his car. As tempting as it would be to say it's to somehow show off to Dream, he has no reason to believe Dream would come back to his car so more likely, it's just something for himself.

All of these put together show me on the page that Hob stayed pretty fixated on making money even after deciding and coming to regret being part of the "shipping business".

And to be clear, we don't actually know when Hob quit the shipping business. Personally, I like to think he did it right after Dream asked, but that's a romantic take and deliberately so. Hob having the opinion by 1889 that slavery is wrong is not necessarily a progressive take by then. Regardless, even if in 1789 he learned it was wrong, that still puts him just slightly ahead of the curve, philosophically speaking.

If we pull in comic canon we do know Hob was ahead of the curve on feminism by 1912 in Hob's Leviathan but again, women would get the right to vote by 1918/1928 in England after the issue had been discussed for at least a century (keep in mind, male Catholics couldn't vote in England until the early 1800s) so again this puts him as palatable to modern readers but not necessary terribly ahead of the curve.

Now, let me also be clear, where Hob is at in 2022 is anyone's guess. Personally I think Dream not showing up in 1989 was a second wakeup call for Hob. If he'd drifted back towards selfish hedonism by 1989, as his whole vibe suggests, he might very well have looked in the mirror and thought, "What if this is why my stranger stayed away?"

We know he becomes a teacher. That probably would go a long way towards changing his politics. We know he's a history teacher, so now he's got the long view. He's spending time in academia, which tends to lean left. My point is, Hob in 2022 is anyone guess and I think there's a lot of evidence and word of god evidence that he's become a Good Person by then, but I also think it's the 1989 meeting that jumpstarted him being Good and not just Nice. Because I do think Hob throughout all these periods of being morally a bastard was always good to the people close to him in his life. I think he was a good friend and a good husband and would have been a good friend to Dream had he allowed it. And that's what I enjoy most, that he could be both of those things, Nice and Not Good.

Hob as non-religious

I admit, this one is very near and dear to my heart for personal reasons of identifying as an atheist when it comes to Christianity and being a lifelong skeptic of Catholicism for the brief time I was technically a member of that organization (all of which while I was a minor). To be clear there is just as much evidence to say Hob is any number of religious alignments as there is that he has none. It's a totally personal choice by any author, I'm just outlining my evidence for why I write him as effectively an atheist.

The Black Death is considered the period that broke the spine of the Catholic church as a monolith in Europe. All the good priests who did their duty taking care of people and giving last rites died leaving only the ones who fled or were young, with tons of money given to the church because of all the rampant death.

Hob would have been born into an era that was particularly rife with both fanaticism and anti-church sentiment. There was a lot of evidence abounding that being a good Christian just got you killed.

Given Hob is a soldier drinking with his mates 1389, I don't see much evidence of him being particularly devout there. No less so in 1489, by the way. Not saying there's evidence against it, just that there's no evidence for it and indeed, societally there's justification for him to not be devout given the century he was born.

1589 I'd say we've got some evidence Hob isn't devout: he seems unperturbed by King Henry's ransacking of the monasteries. Politically speaking, if Hob is a New Man, he might have even benefited from that ransacking personally. In my personal view, Hob is an opportunist and most likely converted to Church of England at the earliest possible opportunity to curry favor with the Powers that Be. I don't personally see him as someone who would bother pretending to be Protestant while continuing to practice Catholicism, because:

Why would Hob bother to be faithful at all? He can't die. The #1 reason to be devout is to avoid Hell or get into Heaven. Hob has clearly chosen the secular world as the only Heaven he cares about. He says that his current life is what, "He once thought Heaven would be like" and it's a very secular vision of good food and safe streets. He does not appear to be pining at all for any spiritual version of Heaven and indeed, speaks of Heaven as a dream only in the past tense.

Personally, by 1689, I think Hob has plenty of reasons to hate God after what he's suffered and the fact he's still not interested in dying to me seems a pretty strong indication that he does not hold romantic views of the afterlife.

Finally, for 1789 to the present, there was absolutely a class of gentleman who were progress minded, obsessed with technology and the Age of Reason. Many American Founding Fathers were self-proclaimed deists, basically a safe form of atheism that said eh, yes God exists and is out there and we owe him some deference, but he doesn't impact day to day life and we can safely ignore him most of the time. Personally, and this is pure headcanon, I put Hob in that group cheerfully ignoring religion and never looking back because he's more interested in the new technologies of the day and not the crusty old church.

We also know, canonically, that at least in 1789, Hob does not consider himself Jewish.

And of course, we can't forget: Hob has evidence that the Christian cosmology is wrong, somehow, given his stranger and his own immortality.

Frankly, given that Hob appears on the page to be a hedonist with no fear of dying, it's interesting to speculate on what his moral boundaries would be at all coming from a world where Heaven and Hell were the primary means of moral social control. It is possible to speculate that Hob could have gone completely off the rails as far as worrying about his soul for a bit there, other than thinking he's already sold it, which could go either way as far as trying to redeem himself but again, he speaks casually of being a soldier and a bandit, so it doesn't sound like if he worried about his soul being sold already, he thought there was anything that could be done to redeem it.

[harocat]

Perhaps this is inaccurate, but does it ever feel to you like general cdrama fandom takes the FL being a “mature” character as the end-all indicator of the show’s quality? Recently with legend of Shenli I see quite a few people start their praise along the lines of “unlike those other garbage xianxia with their annoying FLs”. And often it becomes clear they’re trashtalking Lbfad specifically

This is not just Cdrama fandom, it's fandom on the whole; the girlbossification of female characters.

I've generally always favored characters that get this treatment. Riza Hawkeye (badass) vs. Winry Rockbell (immature), Sango (badass) vs Kagome (immature). Sorry those examples are anime, but they're very well known so 🤷

These are also often healer characters, which is a trope that tends to be... sort of maligned. How dare a women be relegated to just being a healer! But IDK, I'd rather have a well written healer than a generic, flatly written warrior any day. XLH would definitely fall under the healer class.

(One good thing I've noticed is that while all the above mentioned girls got a lot of hate back in the day, as time has gone on, they've grown to become beloved characters. You rarely see hate for any of them nowadays. It's great.)

Keeping in mind fandom's general disinterest in women, so naturally the appreciation that does exist is often extremely shallow. Characters that tend to catch their attention because of this are ones that are 'badass' or that they want to 'step on them' or whatnot. A character that starts out more mature is more likable to them because they don't need to look beyond the surface to see how 'cool' she is.

This is not an implication that Shenli is a shallow character (I am only on ep twelve, so I'm not here to give any kind of overall impression), but just that she from the beginning has more traits that are easy for people to glom onto as a 'strong female character' Do these specific people (this is obviously not all fans of Shenli) who say 'finally a mature character' write meta about Shenli? Do they gush on her and share fanworks and create and all the like. Generally no, because in my experience people who like characters for 'girlboss' reasons don't really appreciate them beyond the surface.

These people will gripe about characters like XLH, sing the praises of 'strong female characters', then go back to only caring about male characters 90% of the time.

Xiao Lanhua takes too much work for these kinds of fans. Obviously we know she is strong, we know she is badass and brave, but the XLH we meet at the beginning is silly, immature, and boy crazy. To appreciate her character fully, you have to do more than just look for five seconds and go 'wow badass'. She's a layered, richly written character, but she doesn't start out as the kind of character that fits a girlboss reading.

On the other hand, almost because of this, you can find pages and pages of meta, fic, and fanworks about her, and almost any fan of hers can give you a plethora of reasons they love her that have actual depth.

On the subject of maturity, it's often a case of the kind of immaturity that's acceptable. Dongfang Qingcang is deeply immature at the start of the series. I don't need to explain why.

But his immaturity is appealing to fandom; cute, likable, and funny. It's good immature, cool immature. And I think this is because in addition to being a male character, we're also taught that being immature like Xiao Lanhua is--- is like... a horrible thing to be? But that's not the case at all. It's just normal! Again, back to girlboss feminism. Women and female characters are held to an impossibly high standard. Female characters that act in a way that might be seen as cringe (if they aren't also badass)? Yikes.

Yes, Xiao Lanhua starts out flighty and silly, but she's also a hard worker, and even from the beginning, she's courageous (despite her timidity when confronted with bullies). She's a good character, even at the beginning; she is lovable, charming, and so, so funny. People just refuse to see beyond their first impression.

The goal in writing a female character should be to make them well written, and in that sense, Xiao Lanhua is a great character. She just happens to also be extremely brave and badass, but some people are too shallow to see it. At this point in time I don't even argue with XLH haters. I'm just like 'well fine, I'd rather not have you here anyway.'

[unluckyxse7enart]

Here's an abandoned Rosemary fanfic snippet I did back in 2020! The premise was literally "sharing fanfic with another as a sign of trust" so it was fun to write on a meta level, lol.

Pretty much the only context is, It's meant to take place early on on the meteor, I think either pre-dating or early into their relationship. Enjoy!

•••

Kanaya held the journal in her claws carefully, almost reverently.

"You're really sure I can read this...?" She looked up at Rose, her eyes seeking any indication of insincerity or insecurity in the other's. Despite her self-conscious smile, however, Rose seemed otherwise at ease with the concept.

"Well, I'm not sure it's worth that much fanfare or anything, but you can if you'd like to. I thought, since it's based on one of the books you lent me and all, you would be the one reader who best understands the source material... and would be able to point out any glaring inaccuracies I surely glossed over during my many late-night editing sessions," she let out a light laugh, and Kanaya could feel her cheeks warming up a little. She returned her attention to the manuscript in her fronds, bringing it closer to her thorax. Rose was letting her read her private writings... more than that, was trusting her, of all people, to be the first set of ganderbulbs - or eyes - to read it. Kanaya lightly chewed on her lower lip, feeling her fangs scratch the skin.

"I... am honored that you have chosen me to be your first reader, but surely there's someone more deserving of this honor than I? What about Dave?" Kanaya tried, though she still couldn't help but hold the journal tight as she spoke. Rose let out an uncharacteristically loud laugh.

"Hah!! Dave?"

Kanaya flushed again, although this time in mortification, trying her hardest not to shrink herself down behind the journal and severely failing.

"Trust me, Dave is one of the last people I'd let read my writing. Not that that's stopped him," the corner of Rose's mouth pulled down in a grimace as she reflected on something Kanaya could tell she really rather wished to forget. The look on her face passed, however, and she returned her attention to the present.

"Besides, it was you who first introduced me to the many fascinating and intriguing tales of romance from a long-dead alien world... I consider this a love letter of sorts to the spirits of those many departed writers, from the effervescent to the, well... cheesy. It's only fitting you read it, as the bridge between me and the final words of their ghosts." Rose smiled. Kanaya faltered, briefly confused.

"Rose, I thought you would know by now, I am not a rustblood. It is Aradia, if anyone, who would be the one to channel their spirits and hear their final words."

Rose tilted her head, a bemused expression on her face.

"No, Kanaya, I meant.."

"I'm kidding. Pulling your 'leg', as you might say," Kanaya offered a soft, mischievous smile.

Rose snorted.

"For someone who claimed not to get sarcasm, you sure do seem to have gotten quite comfortable with using it."

"What can I say? I had an excellent teacher, and bridge of my own, to show me the many wonders of human sarcasm and its applications," Kanaya laughed as Rose couldn't help but elbow her lightly - not that she would have noticed if it had been rougher. Rose still hadn't quite caught on just how sturdy trolls tended to be compared to humans.

"That said, if you really would like me to be the first reader, then I gladly accept. I am excited to see what you have written," Kanaya said, briefly holding the journal away from her long enough to flip briefly through the pages. Rose stiffened a little, though her expression did not falter.

"Oh, uh. You weren't... planning on reading it now, were you?" She asked, an edge to her voice. Kanaya quickly slapped the journal shut, perhaps a little too hastily.

"Oh, my apologies! I just-"

"No, it's fine, it's fine. I just was not... prepared... to see your responses to it firsthand."

Kanaya blinked, studying Rose's body language for signs of insult. Had she overstepped a cultural human norm? But as Rose's hand briefly brushed up to hold her other arm to her side, only to drop back down in a controlled manner, it occurred to Kanaya that perhaps she was more insecure about the writing than she let on, or at least enough to be embarrassed at the concept of watching Kanaya read her personal work.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for treating some people they way they treated me?

Sorry for bringing twitter drama and for the long ask.

I'm autistic-ADHD and have some past traumas regarding friendships, it's difficult for me to understand some "normal" things as I've been told. Normal things like not replying to a friend for weeks or months, not interacting unless they need something, keeping mutuals despite never interacting etc go over my head. These are all traits of "adult friendship" according to some and we're raised differently I suppose. I'm not talking about forgetting to reply or being busy, I'm also a busy adult and I forget to reply too so please don't feel defensive about that.

I have some mutuals who do all that I mentioned above, but there are 2 people who go Out Of Their Way to not interact with me. They'd go directly to posts I share to retweet, they'd ignore my messages, my own tweets, my replies to them, my replies to Their Questions under My Tweets, any qrt to their tweets.. just all of it, as if they have me blocked.

This had been happening long before For you page became a thing, years of this and no I wasn't shadowbanned my other mutuals interacted just fine. I was probably muted, but they'd share posts that I know wouldn't be on their tl unless they saw me share, trust me on this.

I didn't realize people did this "cool moot" thing until I saw others on twitter talking about how some popular or wannabe popular accounts do this so that You don't feel too important, so you know it's all casual, so that their rare interactions are treasured.

Let's say we 3 had X fandom in common.

These two mutuals, one was new and really invested in X fandom before we met. She barged into my life and said "We Have to be friends!" weeks before she started ignoring me.

The other one, from my country, had been mutual for over a year, and we shared a bunch of fandoms before X came to existence. So we had good reasons to get closer as friends, there was no reason to not respond to me sending normal fanarts and meta stuff, yet xe acted like I was invisible. No indication that my once or twice a week messages, gradually decreasing, were making xem uncomfortable.

What hurt most is how xe'd be all "my mutuals are my besties", "only 10 people from this country's X fandom has braincells and we're always screaming in group chat". Meaning I wasn't even remembered let alone be in xer group.

With xem I felt like I was just there so xe could keep a "trusted" fellow fan in xeir list, as in 'have similar taste, live in the same country, and isn't a bigot'. I've had other mutuals tell me that they did this, keep "trusted" accounts as mutuals, in those cases I didn't mind because of course I wanted the same and we actually talk to each other.

After I figured out I got upset and appalled. I muted the 2 for some time, if I needed to I went and shared posts they retweeted from source without interacting with them. Nobody messaged each other. If you mute on twitter you still get notification for likes, replies etc and I got none from them in that time. After a couple months I quietly softblocked them.

The older mutual tried to follow again because xe thought it was a glitch but I locked xem out. This is the reason I feel a little bad, but xe could have interacted in the whole year we were in X fandom together.

So this is how I lost two mutuals, was I an ass for the months I treated them like that? I doubt they noticed either way.

What are these acronyms?

[loopy777]

Spoiler Thoughts & Reactions: Azula in the Spirit Temple

This is the stuff I had to leave out of my other post because it's spoilery, mostly concerned with Azula's character arc. It seems the fandom is having mixed reactions to this, but I think it moves Azula forward in a big way as a character, even though very little changes about her general situation.

The thing I'm most struck by is that this thing has the exact same character arc as the 2-chapter vision question I sent Zuko on in Traitor's Face, complete with the protagonist seemingly rejecting redemption at the climax by attacking the spirit in what is actually a symbolically self-destructive reaction to becoming consciously aware of the abusive they experienced from Ozai- an awareness that may lead to better choices in the future.

I love that Azula actually talks about Ozai here, and the flashback to her discovering her Firebending is perfectly illustrative of her dynamic with her parents. During her spirit visions, Azula claims to no longer support Ozai because he failed and lost his Firebending, which seems to be a change from how she was still taking his orders in 'The Search.' After 'Smoke & Shadow' was loudly silent on the matter, we see that she's truly taken a step forward in her characterization and is no longer consciously trying to win his approval. I had suspected as much, considering her obsession with Zuko, but it's good to see it given confirmation and focus.

At the start of this story, Azula is definitely diminished, though, running around the fringes of the Fire Nation committing petty acts of sabotage, no longer attempting any grand plans to manipulate Zuko but rather just generally antagonizing him. This is a change from her professed mission in S&S to supposedly make him a better Fire Lord by teaching him the power of fear over love.

My own speculations are that that she either wasn't serious about her true motivations in S&S (which I think would be a retcon), she's now lashing out at him in revenge for his rejection of the lesson, or she's just taunting him with her own continued survival and freedom in order to show him that his belief in love can't accomplish everything.

Getting back to Ozai, I was stunned to find that this comic actually has her admitting that her father abused her and she feared him. That is a huge step forward for her, acknowledging the part he played in her troubles. And yet, at the story's climax, when she goes to attack the spirit who has been troubling her and giving her visions, she proclaims herself the daughter of Ozai (not Ursa, unlike Zuko at the climax of 'Zuko Alone,' despite Azula also admitting some real truths about her mother), gives him the title of the Phoenix King, and uses it as proof of her claim to the Fire Nation throne. That seems to be a huge reversal from the earlier acknowledgements, and she explicitly frames it as a rejection of the possibility of redemption- a rejection even of the need.

This would seem to be a rather meta sign of what we should expect next for Azula, that there will be no Redemption Arc and she will remain a villain. But I'm not so sure.

Because Azula is not being honest.

The spirit, after it takes its final monstrous bug-like form, describes itself as a mirror of Azula's inner-self, a monster just like her, and the consequence of rejecting redemption. Azula attempts to destroy it with her lightning, a symbolic act of self-destruction. She seems to once again be embracing Ozai's worldview that human connections are a weakness. And the symbolic self-destruction seems to indicate that this will not end well for her.

But I would say that the final pages are not definitive about what is next for her.

For one thing, the spirit is not destroyed. When Azula continues her journey through the forest where she found the spirit temple, the first panel puts an insect of the same type and color as the spirit's final form in the foreground. So she's mistaken about that, and if we continue to say that it's a symbol of her inner-self, she didn't succeed in destroying it.

When she finds the Fire Warriors -- who she initially said she would hurt for leaving her to go rescue a captured member she had given up on -- she observes their close friendship and chooses to walk away. She covers this by saying, out loud to no one, that they are unworthy of her leadership. Who is she trying to convince? This directly parallels the feelings about Ty Lee and Mai that were explored in her visions. So clearly she's in denial about what she's feeling, attempting to talk herself into a more palatable justification, and has grown from wanting to hurt the Fire Warriors for their disobedience and having what she wants.

Then, interestingly, as Azula walks away, she says she'll find a new place to rule and new followers, and that she always does. This is despite her earlier talk about being the rightful heir to the throne.

I've long said that the dumbest, least interesting way to use Azula in any AtLA sequels (including fanfic) is to have her trying to usurp the title of Fire Lord from Zuko. It plays into the rivalry taught to them by the way Ozai played them against each other, but in the context of the setting, it's a fool's errand. Even if the Fire Nation accepted her, the rest of the world wouldn't, not if she's going to antagonize them. Restarting the war is a no-go, as the Fire Nation has lost its colonies and captured territory in the Earth Kingdom, and now it no longer has a military or technology advantage. I can't buy that someone as smart as Azula would want to put herself into an career dead-end like that.

But it seems, thanks to those final pages, this comic has advanced Azula enough that even though she wants the throne, she recognizes that it offers her nothing in either real power or personal satisfaction. If she really is looking for somewhere else to rule, she's no longer interested in fighting with Zuko over a token that their father had dangled over them all their lives. She doesn't even care what Zuko does with it.

(That's not to say she won't fight with Zuko over other things! Which I would be fine with.)

And she's off to find something worth fighting over, even though she's still very flawed and in denial about a lot of it.

So I think this comic opens up a lot of possibilities for Azula. Maybe she'll continue being a villain, but for smart stakes. Maybe she'll eventually work her way to a true redemption. (I especially like that the dialogue ties redemption with apologies; it's not enough to stop being bad, a true redemption requires acknowledging past wrongs and attempting to make up for them.) Or maybe the continuing AtLA story will do what I like to play with when I write Azula:

Just find a way for her to achieve peace with herself.

Anyway, the more I think on this comic, the more I like it. I'll be crushed when the animated Aang movie makes her a generic villain again. XD

[mmmmalo]

with all youve said on troll reproduction, do you think ancestors on alternia are really a thing? the only trolls we know have ancestors at all werent even born in the brooding caverns but in a lab within sgrub, and their ancestors are essentially ectobiological copies. there is no indication that any other trolls on the entire planet have ancestors, and i think its more likely that its a myth spread by scratch to keep the trolls on the paths to their destinies or whatnot. would be interested to see your take or if theres even anything textual to back this up

There's no indication because we don't talk about any other trolls until Friendsim, at which point the new meta is that the original twelve have become the stereotypes from which caste traits are derived... and that in itself is a description of "troll reproduction" because it's a Doylist description of how new trolls are created. My basic impression is that even troll reproduction in the original story was sort of formed around the comic's medium from the get go: it describes death and rebirth, being reduced to gooey essence and forming anew on the other side of a time portal, which is how characters like Rose regard the turning of the page. Every click of the arrow becomes cause to worry about mixed atoms. Likewise the ancestor divide strikes me chiefly as a scratch in miniature, a cause to reflect on what the same person might have done different circumstances, and their relationship with those possibilities.

So even though it sort doesn't really make biological sense for a species to have no clear beginning or end, my impression of troll reproduction is that it's just cloning mediated by a bug ass that's hungry for blood, circulating a small set of genes indefinitely. So sure, ancestors are real.

[tokiro07]

Undead Unluck Ch.177 thoughts

[Sick in the Head]

(Contents: Rule lore speculation, nostalgic gushing)

Undead Unluck really is the new One Piece, cus we're nearly 200 chapters in and we're still getting basic worldbuilding lore. We first heard the term "Master Rules" in ch.97 (it took me a shamefully long time to find that page too, I skimmed the entirety of 101-132 before realizing it was right after Ruin's introduction), and while I think we all kind of guessed that the Master Rules were the ones that God intended to shape the final product, the revelation that they're meant to be absolutes really changes the game, doesn't it?

Long-time followers may recall my worry about what would happen to the world if Spoil were to be neutralized because it would throw off the nutrient cycle, but then I chalked it up to the world updating and compensating for the loss

This is also what I thought happened in ch.124 when Andy got hit with an Unluck blast of magma after having killed UMA Magma; Andy questioned it, Fuuko said not to worry about it, but I could never get past it, and I always justified it as a different liquified substance in the Earth's mantle to allow the tectonic plates to move or whatever other purposes magma has, but...nope! It would seem that Magma was a Master Rule (albeit outside of the top 10, cus he went down pretty easy), so its neutralization didn't affect the state of the world itself

This also means that the Seasons are explicitly not Master Rules, which I speculated would be the case a long time ago since there was a quest specific to their neutralization, implying that they were not Rules that Sun deemed necessary for their perfect world. I do wonder if perhaps this time the Seasons aside from Autumn are Master Rules, though, since there must not be any intention of introducing Revolution and initiating Ragnarok this time (doing so would only destroy the world, and this is the last loop, so that would defeat the purpose)

Some of you may recall that I actually once suggested that Autumn was intended to be a part of the final world specifically because it was the only Season that Sun didn't ask for the neutralization of, and then expressed shock that Autumn was set to be neutralized in 101 as that contradicted that earlier evidence, so I think it's pretty fun to learn here that the Master Rules, despite appearing on that tablet, aren't permanently set in stone between loops. Like in Yugioh, the Master Rules are updated along with the particularly big updates to the meta (the introductions of new card types there, the reset of the loop here), presumably based on the events of the previous loops

One question does haunt me here, though: if the Master Rules are chosen after the previous Ragnarok, and they existed before the Quests started...does that mean that Juiz was lying about the function of the tablet after all? I suspected she did for a while since the tablet was only ever mentioned by her as a way to justify how she knew about Ragnarok before it occurred, but now we're learning that some of the Master Rules are completely unrelated to the success or failure of the quests? Are any of the 101 related to it? Are only the first 10 prior to it, since Apocalypse says they're the ones added in "the initial stage"? It's a subtle inconsistency, and one that doesn't really change much of anything, but until Tozuka comes right out and explains the exact procedure, it's going to be nagging at the back of my mind

It's ALSO interesting that Sick remembers Juiz; we never got any indication that the previous UMAs could remember anything between loops, but Sick refers to Juiz directly. Is this a quirk of the top 10 Master Rules, all Master Rules, or the final loop? I hope Tozuka answers all of these questions in the volume releases if not the series proper, I live for this kind of thing

Oh, then there's the fact that Sick looks human. Not even in a subtle, human-shaped monster kinda way like Seal, but like actually human. Again, a Master Rule trait, or a Sick trait specifically? That big X across his chest is clearly meant to denote that he's the 10th Master Rule, so do all of the top 10s have a Roman numeral? Is Move a Master Rule, or are his Roman numerals meant to convey that dice are used to determine how far you move in games?

Despite the fact that Apocalypse told us that the Master Rules are different each time, it should be noted that there is plenty of room for overlap; Ruin told us pretty plainly that Sick was a Master Rule last time by saying that there was meaning in his illness, as there are no mistakes in the Master Rules

I'm willing to bet that Death is always the first Master Rule chosen, as otherwise, everyone would be passing through the loops since they would be incapable of dying. Since they can die, that must mean Death exists and is chosen for one of the permanent slots very early, possibly even before the initiation of the loop itself

To talk about the chapter itself, I adore the color page and the final page; they're such celebrations of the story so far and so perfectly call back to the beginning of the series to get us excited for the anime. Medaka Box did the same thing for season 2, bringing back the Front Six in their original outfits to advertise their upcoming anime appearance, and this is clearly doing the same thing. Seeing Void in his armor, Gina with her hat, Shen and Mui with their gloves, it's all so nostalgic!

And let's not forget: THAT'S OUR ISSHIN, BABY!!! Probably. I guess it's possible that XII is still kicking after all this time, but I'm decently sure that's Haruka, and I'm excited to see what's different about her this time, if anything. She should only be about 16 this time, so she should have a few differences to her build or demeanor, I would think

Finally, not to beat a dead horse, but...GOD DAMN, LEILA! "[The best thing in life would be] the three of us being together always"??? You can't tell me this ain't poly!!! You CAN'T (forgive the pun) rip this away from me, Tozuka!!!

I'm pretty shocked that I'm not getting much to say on Rip unlocking Unrepair, though. Like...the scene itself was pretty underwhelming, to be honest, I guess mostly because everyone in context knew more or less what was going to happen, so there wasn't a ton of room for surprise or suspense. I guess I thought that Rip was going to get Unrepair while fighting Sick, not awkwardly recreating the previous circumstances, though I guess that's just how God works, huh? Hopefully I'll get to dive more into RIp's character when he gets Blade Runner, which weirdly wasn't a part of this chapter considering how much focus it got last week

I'm really looking forward to the Sick fight, and since it's starting in Phase 2, I'm willing to bet that this is going to be our second Phase 3 fight as well. I have no idea what that will entail, but I'm looking forward to it, almost as much as I'm looking forward to the anime in just a couple of days!!!

[nitewrighter]

Hey, uh, about the "retcons" in Overwatch's story, do you know which ones are genuine retcons and which ones are additional lore added into the story?

That's a good question, because I've been in this fandom for 6 years and I've seen a lot of people call things retcons that were really just lore reveals that went against fanon. Like for example, when Moira was introduced to the game, a lot of people were saying that it retconned Mercy being the creator of Reaper, when that's not true--a lot of people headcanoned the idea of "Mercy created Reaper" into fanon because Reaper had an elimination line for Mercy that said, "Don't forget, this is all your fault" but it was also never clear if that was an elimination line he had for Overwatch members in general, or if that was referring to something else, or if it was just a taunt. In any case, there simply weren't enough details on Reaper's condition before for Moira's addition to the cast and her corresponding lore of giving Reaper his abilities to call Moira's entry into the lore a retcon. (Also it's just fucking dumb to saddle literally every medical science thing Overwatch was up to onto Mercy I mean come on, people.)

Reaper having a family? Also definitely not a retcon, we see him stalking what is presumably his son and his family in the Christmas "Reflections" comic way back in 2016--and his family is mentioned again in Ana's "Bastet" short story.

Is the Cassidy Name change a retcon? I mean there had been hints at Cassidy using pseudonyms before in certain voice lines and also in the "Joel Morricone"/"My name's not Joel" bit with Sombra. But anyway I think the meta factor of not wanting to associate a fan favorite character with a predatory Blizzard employee is justifiable enough to just... hand wave the name change. I mean they still have the old name on his "Trainhopper" comic so I guess the Pseudonym lore bit is just there so they don't need to worry about changing it back in older media---but also that just shows that Blizz is lazy as hell because if I can edit and replace over a 1000 mentions of Cassidy's old name in my 300k+ word main fic continuity, I'm pretty sure they can edit a 10 page comic.

I feel like they've also always been a bit iffy on the whole status of God AI's, particularly Anubis. Like the lore says "Anubis and other god programs were quarantined in Egypt" but we never hear anything about any other God AI and it's Anubis that kicked off the omnic crisis, apparently, But I'll have to read the Sojourn novel to be clear.

For me the most egregious and clear retcon is the changes they made to Widow in what is clearly a hamfisted attempt to give her more 'agency.' In the previous lore, as we see in Ana's comic "Legacy," Overwatch thought Amélie Lacroix was either kidnapped again or dead following the death of Gérard LaCroix. She disappeared off the face of the earth (presumably doing super secret assassinations for Talon) and basically didn't appear again until she put Ana's eye out. In Widowmaker's new bio, which came out with Overwatch 2, they say that the police were pursuing Amélie as a suspect in Gérard's death and Amélie willingly went to Talon because she had nowhere else to go and quote, "Killing Gérard made her feel alive." Like, when you're being pursued by the cops, and you've literally already been brainwashed to kill your husband, I don't think there's actual agency there.

For me the old Widow backstory was a lot better because it made her scarier and more nuanced as a character, it made the stakes feel higher in the universe, and it doesn't make the timeline confusing with what Moira was up to at the time. And also Widowmaker taking out Ana's eye is vital to Ana's character because Amélie is part of the body of Overwatch's failures. All of Ana's thoughts leading up to the point where Widowmaker takes her eye out indicate how Talon has been in Overwatch's blind spot, both figuratively and literally. So all around it's just kind of a dumb choice that turned a genuinely eerie character who partially represents the failures and vulnerabilities of Overwatch into a boring generic Femme Fatale.

But yeah anyway I would say, compare the new Overwatch 2 bios to the old comics and kind of make your own judgments from there.

[why-raven]

nigerrimus noctis — the blackest night.

a pinned post I must write when I should be in bed at night an introduction long overdue forgotten somewhere in my queue

— poem by @why-raven

UNUS — ONE: INTRODUCTION.

about the curator.

Raven; he/they pronouns. 30+, Asian, Aroace.

Writer and poet; multi-genre and multi-fandom experimentalist. Selective roleplayer; please ask first!

Photographer and graphic designer in love with gothic architecture and dark academia.

I have a Ko-fi page if you wish to support me and my content!

about this blog.

Main account; all follows, likes and asks will come from here.

Multi-fandom; currently 90% FFXIV, and 10% everything else (ex. other games, anime, dark academia).

Usually runs on queue; may post manually out of the blue, but don’t count on that to keep tabs on my activity here. Updates will be sporadic.

Ask is CLOSED due to recent influx of donation scams. DM is restricted to mutuals only.

18+ only; may contain dark and mature contents, some NSFW, etc. All warnings are always indicated visibly at the beginning of post/before Read More cut.

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other links.

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see under cut for taglist and disclaimers.

DUO — TWO: TAGLIST.

All my blogs use very specific themes for tagging. Here, it’s based on Latin, generally divided between tenebris (“dark”) and lucis (“light”).

Tags preceded by em dash (—) are not included. These are often used as personal notes only.

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[kalinara]

So in my last post, I talked a lot about what I think they’re doing with the New Republic.  Or at least, what I think the point is.  (I think ultimately, we’ll see a move toward getting rid of the Imperial elements entirely.)

But I didn’t really get into why I think it’s happening in the Mandalorian.  After all, it’s not like Din Djarin will be out to fix the New Republic.

I think there are two reasons: first, Moff Gideon is still a factor.  He’s out there, and he’s going to be making trouble.   My guess is that Elia’s working for him, and that Pershing will be fair game once he’s had his sessions.

But I think there’s a second reason too.  And that’s the Children of the Watch.

Disclaimer: I ALSO still haven’t gotten around to watching the Clone Wars Mandalorian episodes (I really hate 3d animation!  Sorry!) so I may be utterly flubbing up details.

As always, take me with a grain of salt.

-

So, Bo-Katan Kryze.  I love her.  I think her plot right now is fascinating.  I really never expected to see her welcomed into the covert, or, at least for now, actually making a genuine attempt to live according to their customs.  (Did Din realize that she’d be welcomed in?  Is that why he’d recommended she not take off her helmet?)

I remember seeing some fan complaints about a twitter timeline that really seemed to white wash Bo-Katan and her past with the Death Watch, and presented both as opponents rather than allies/subordinates to Darth Maul.

It’s particularly interesting because in the first episode of the season Bo-Katan attacks the Children of the Watch, and other similar groups, for tearing apart Mandalore.  She conveniently forgets to mention that she was part of one of those groups.  Then we have that aforementioned twitter thing that mentions the Death Watch, but glosses over what they actually did.

It’s particularly interesting given that it’s very obvious that the Children of the Watch ARE Death Watch.  Or at least a splinter group from them.  They have a Vizsla.  Din lived on Concordia.  They could definitely be described as “embrac[ing] their history in combat” though they seem to avoid outright war.

That said, the Children of the Watch are also NOT the Death Watch.  They’re, by Mandalorian standards anyway, practically pacifistic.  They train to fight and defend themselves, but they don’t make war with anyone.  They live by a fairly draconian creed, but there’s no indication that they seek to force it on others.  Leaving aside the ethics of having a child swear to a binding oath before he’s fully able to understand (see also, the pre-Imperial Jedi), the punishment for breaking said oath is exile, not death.  They can choose to leave at any time.

It is rather fascinating how much that description fits the Jedi as well, but that’s another meta.

But they do seem to keep the trappings of the Death Watch, don’t they?  And how much do those trappings really mean?  We see the Children of the Watch through Din Djarin’s eyes, but we’ve established that there’s a fuck-lot that Din doesn’t know that he really should.

Is everyone on the same page about the Children of the Watch?  Does everyone want to be on the same page?

And then there’s Bo-Katan Kryze.  This is where my knowledge of the Clone Wars fails me, but I feel like the Children of the Watch probably are really attractive to her.  They’re traditionalists, but not terrorists.  She might find the helmet thing a little silly, but they seem to have some pretty compatible values deep down.  And after all her experiences, it might even feel good to strip away all the cosmopolitan trappings and feel the essence of being Mandalorian.

But she’s not a child.  She’s not Din Djarin thirty years ago or Ragnar Viszla now.  She has a past, and it’s a pretty bloody one.  And there’s a good chance that at least some of the people in that covert remember that.

I���m not sure how old Paz Viszla is, but let’s assume he’s Din’s age or a little older.  But where did he come from?  Din kept his own name, though he hadn’t heard it in years.  Paz’s name is spoken all the time.  Dare we assume that he comes by it naturally?  And if so, then did he know Pre Vizsla?  Did he ever see Bo-Katan way back when?

And of course, there’s the Armorer, who wears Rook Kast’s colors and zabrak horns.  Have we ruled out that theory yet?  Would Bo-Katan recognize her?  Thirty years is a long time, and it’s easy to be blind to things we wouldn’t want to see.  Either way, the Armorer definitely knows Bo-Katan’s past.  

(There’s an interesting CBR article that theorizes that Bo will expose the Armorer, which is fair.  Rook Kast’s crimes far exceed Bo-Katan’s.  But Bo is still keeping her own secrets.)

At any rate, the Armorer is the one who issued the invitation to Bo-Katan, in the same episode that Elia Kane lured Doctor Pershing into a trap.  In a society that appears idealized, but still holds onto a lot of elements of its darker heritage.

Would an “it’s a trap” gif be appropriate here?  Because I kind of think it might be.

[seowebmaestro]

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[runicmagitek]

Hi there Runic!

I was wondering your opinion on using Scrivner to draft fics vs using Word? Like pros and cons? (Some of the articles online are so confusing! >//<‘)

Thanks so much for the ask, anon! And also thanks for your patience; I wanted to give this some thought, hence the wait.

I primarily use Scrivener and have been using it for a little over a decade. I also use Word during the final phase of edits. I'll list some of my favorite features of each one, followed by the cons.

Scrivener

Organizing a story in Scrivener is where it shines the most. For a longer story, you can break things down by chapter and easily move them around as needed. For me, I use a single file for all my fics and breakdown folders by fandom, then by ships. The use of status markers and labels and custom meta-data, while initially daunting, are also super great to flag what state your draft is in along with any other indicators you wish to use. For me, I like marking if fics are for an exchange or a gift for a friend. I've even customized the meta-data so I can plug in potential tags and ratings as I go!

Snapshots is a neat function that makes a copy of your current file. I use it with each new phase of editing, in case I need to refer to an older version. It's super easy to switch back and forth between snapshots, plus there's a preview to show what has been removed or added from the last version!

There are a ton of compiling options for when you wish to export your story as a Word doc or a PDF or even for epublishing. I don't use this too often, but I have lots of friends who do and it makes proper formatting really simple.

There is a focus mode that removes all the UI stuff and just shows you the words. If this didn't exist, I wouldn't be able to write anything lolsob.

You can set target goals for each document or even the entire file. And if you have multiple documents in a single folder with word count targets applied, Scrivener will add them all up and give you a total target estimate. Really handy for planning out how long your story will be!

THERE IS A DARK MODE THEME.

Word

The grammar/spelling checker is a lot more robust in comparison to Scrivener.

Sharing your Word document and sharing notes/comments with beta readers is a LOT easier in Word. It's similar to how Google Docs works with leaving comments, replying to each other, and marking them as resolved.

Copy-pasting from Word into AO3's rich text preserves the formatting, whereas I've had a lot of wonky issues going from Scrivener to AO3.

Text-to-speech, while kinda weird, is a godsend when I want to read out loud a fic before posting, but don't have the energy to do so.

If you have Word, you likely have a Microsoft subscription, which means you have access to OneDrive, which makes for VERY easy backups. Plus you can get Word on your phone and work off that and your computer seamlessly at no extra cost.

THERE IS ALSO A DARK MODE.

Hokay, now for cons.

Scrivener

Scrivener is not free. It is a one-time fee of $60~. That said, if you participate in NaNo and win, you can get a discount code (I believe it's 50% off?)

It was originally made for Macs, but then a Windows version was developed. The team behind Scrivener is very small and it took… forever to get the Windows version up to speed with the Mac version. There are still some differences between the two, but thankfully both versions are on the same page. Jumping off of this, there is an iOS version, but no Android version.

If you wish to back up your Scrivener stuff, you can only really do that via a Dropbox account. Also, I believe it's not possible to open the same file on different computer types. So if you have two computers (one Mac and one Windows) and want to open the same file on both, it's not really going to work. In my experience, I've also run into issues getting things to sync and open when using two Windows computers. So if you're planning to bounce around different computers/laptops/etc., definitely keep this in mind.

On top of that, for every device you want Scrivener on? You need to pay for that.

Scrivener has got one hell of a learning curve, too. I've been using it for so long and am STILL discovering new ways to use it. It can be intimidating, even after you go through all the tutorials.

Word

This also costs money, but sadly is not a one-time fee AND you need to invest in a bundle plan instead of just getting Word. Home subscriptions range from $70 to $100 a year, depending if you're getting it just for yourself or for your family/friends to use too. For me, I use it with my boyfriend and we use all the programs a bunch, so it works out well for us. This might work for you too if you're interested in having access to things like Excel and OneNote and cloud storage. But if you just want Word, that's not really feasible.

I haven't experienced this because I've stopped writing novel-length stories in Word, but I've heard from friends that the program slows down after 30k words or so, which is unfortunate and frustrating.

Furthermore, you can't really transition from file to file in Word as you can in Scrivener. You'd need to manage the folders on your computer outside of the program.

Word isn't really designed for book formatting. You CAN do it, but it takes some extra work on your end to format things accordingly, whereas Scrivener has a bunch of built-in features to help with that.

Microsoft is A LOT bigger than the Scrivener team, thus there are frequent updates. And because of that, you need to perform more updates to the program and might even need to reacquaint yourself with features and UI changes.

I hope this helps! Regardless of which program you wish to use, I hope it goes smoothly and you have a blast writing your stories on it!

[estellamiraiauthor]

The Stars May Rise and Fall: The Annotated Re-read (Chapter 31)

While this is a really important, kinda heartbreaking chapter, I’m not really sure how much I’ll have to add. It’s all pretty much there on the page (and I’m kinda sad that we’re nearing the end of the book), but I’ll do my best to add whatever I can. ❤️

As always, spoilers under the cut!

This chapter opens the day after the Hakone trip. Teru and Rei are in bed, and the obvious implication is that they’ve come home to be intimate again. I do SORT OF touch on “how far” they went… Teru asks Rei if he wants to “do more,” and you can read into that whatever details you want, but it was definitely supposed to indicate that although they’re enjoying exploring intimacy together, they’re also taking it slow.

And then Teru makes his choice… he tells Rei that he’s going to turn down the offer so he can keep singing Rei’s music, and playing at the venues Rei is comfortable going to. And Rei tells him to wait before he tells the others, because he’s now 100% decided that he’s going to leave.

Around chapter 20, which is the one where they go on the Ferris wheel date, I reached a point where I didn’t know where this story was going. I’d gotten Rei and Teru together, but there were still so many unresolved issues that it was hard to imagine them really being happy together long term. Many versions of the Phantom story use the Erik-Christine-Raoul love triangle in some form as the final conflict, but these characters had taken on a life of their own, and Teru was clearly no longer interested in Kiyomi (aka “Raoul”) as a romantic partner at this point… when Christine ends up with Raoul, we ache for Erik, but it’s a satisfying ending because Raoul is the one she wants to be with in the first place. But a Kiyomi/Teru ending wouldn’t have been satisfying, or made any sense at that point, at all.

So what was the final conflict? What was the choice that Teru had to make? I thought about it for YEARS, and in that time I read a lot of sort of meta writing about various Phantoms, and something I read about the original Leroux novel was what ultimately pointed me in the right direction: “He loved her so he let her go.”

I’m that novel, Erik gives Christine a choice: either she stays with him as his “living wife”, or he blows up the opera house and kills everyone in it (or at least tries). She chooses to stay, and kisses him, and he is so moved by that act of love that he lets her go anyway. Now, there’s obviously a lot that doesn’t work here: Rei’s not a murderer, Teru DOES actually want to stay with him. But “he loved him so he let him go”? That I could do.

So it ends up being kind of a choice, not between Rei and Kiyomi, but between Rei and his career. Rei never actually spells it out as an ultimatum, but he definitely makes Teru FEEL like it is… and Teru chooses Rei, so Rei has to love him enough to let him go… which is TOTALLY misguided. But in his poor, twisted mind, he really thinks that this is the greatest thing he can do to make Teru happy.

Teru makes this decision on Christmas Day, and then we skip ahead to New Year’s Eve. Rei, in that time, we can assume has been making preparations to leave.

He gives Teru a necklace—jewelry again! This was definitely supposed to contrast with the (now broken on the floor of the Shibuya Starbucks) necklace Kiyomi gave him… Kiyomi’s depicted a creature in bondage, and the gift itself was sort of intended to make Teru “hers”. But Rei’s is red amber that Teru thinks looks like a sunrise, and although Teru doesn’t notice it until later, it’s inscribed “Shine,” which is what Teru’s self-chosen name means, and what Rei has repeatedly promised him he will do. When Rei originally ordered it, he probably intended it to be a kind of blessing for Teru to take the recording contract; now he uses it as a goodbye gift. Either way, it’s the opposite of Kiyomi’s gift: intended to set Teru free, not tie him down.

They play the countdown show… these kinds of concerts were real. They basically lasted all day, and a lot of people would get tickets to more than one, and move around among the different venues to see all their favorite bands. It was kind of crazy but a lot of fun. New Year’s is the big winter holiday in Japan, and a lot of people spend it with family, but for young people who are more focused on hobbies, it was a night to spend with friends and to stay out till morning.

So Teru does that, but he ends up leaving early because he’s worried about the way Rei said goodbye. He doesn’t put it into words until later in the chapter, once he’s reasonably sure that Rei IS okay, but I think the worry has been building up all night that Rei might try to take his own life.

When he gets to Rei’s apartment, the locks have been changed. Teru thinks this is weird, because a lot of businesses ARE closed on New Year’s Eve, but there are definitely 24-hour, 365-day a year locksmiths, mainly for people who lock themselves out of their houses in the middle of the night, but as long as someone is willing to pay the holiday rate, they’re probably fine with doing other work as well.

Teru’s still scared, but eventually one of his phone calls to Rei gets manually rejected. You can still pretty much tell based on the number of rings whether someone has rejected a call or whether it’s just timed out, but it used to be a completely different message. Of course, you wouldn’t USUALLY be relieved to get the “rejected” message from someone you’re in a relationship with, but in this case, Teru is relieved because at least it means Rei is alive. (I honestly don’t think he’s ever really been suicidal though… maybe he WISHES he could just end his own suffering, but I don’t think he really WANTS to, because the feeling of obligation to let Saki and the rest of the band live on through his music, and to keep atoning for their deaths for the rest of his life, is too strong…. He’s also got that stubborn string of hope that won’t give up, even when he wants to.)

And then at the end, Teru does finally notice the “shine” inscription, and realizes what Rei has done. 😭

[brandsmartini]

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[leandra-winchester]

I initially just rolled my eyes and scrolled past this, but it's genuinely bothering me because this misinformation could cost lives. (Some of the stuff said above is absolute nonsense!)

Yes, ok, vaping isn't as great as breathing fresh, clean air, and if you're not previously addicted to smoking you shouldn't pick it up. BUT. Vaping is infinitely less harmful than smoking - a fact that has by now been proven by many studies and meta studies, and is generally propagated by health professionals who are not in the pocket of big pharma or the tobacco industry.

Nearly all studies so far that allegedly proved some kind of significant harm in e-cigarettes were done under unrealistic conditions. One could even say they were deliberately set up in a way to get to a desired result rather than mimic what vaping actually is like, such as a prominent study of the early 2010s that allegedly proved carcinogens in e-cigarette vapor. This study used robots that took drag after drag from a vape, thereby overheating it, thereby letting the cotton (carrier material) run dry, thereby singing it, thereby producing actual smoke, not vapor, and thereby containing carcinogens. (Because any material that burns and smokes contains those).

Other studies found several potentially harmful substances in e-cigarette vapor but completely neglected to mention that the amounts of those substances were so minuscule that they were far under what is generally considered a safe concentration in workplaces, throughout the EU (such as formaldehyde). Note: it's still a small potential risk, but so is living in a city or working at many places where you have constant or daily emissions of toxins in the air.

There were some actual harms with contaminated liquids or through improper use, but other than that I am not aware of a single study that proves or even strongly indicates that e-cigarette vapor contains any significant amounts (i.e. more concerning than other mundane risk factors like living in a city) of harmful substances. Not one. And I used to follow them all because it was my JOB, a couple of years ago.

IN CONTRAST, we definitely know that smoking cigarettes bears immense risks, including extreme increase in risk of various types of cancer, other lung diseases and heart diseases. If you've smoked for several decades, chances are high that you're going to die because of it.

So, instead, here is some reliable info that makes an argument FOR vaping as a legitimate and highly useful method of significant harm reduction.

For example, this relatively recent review by the King's College London:

And this is a page that cites many, many REPUTABLE studies and publications.

For example these three:

Public Health England (2015)¹ found that vaping is 95% less harmful than smoking. 

The Institute of Psychiatry, Psychology and Neuroscience (2022),² in the largest literature review of its kind led by King’s College London academics, found that “the use of vaping products rather than smoking leads to a substantial reduction in exposure to toxicants that promote cancer, lung disease and cardiovascular disease.”

Stephens (2018),³ a researcher at St. Andrews University, showed that the risk of cancer from e-cigarettes compared to that from smoking is less than half a percent. 

(and many, many more)

The people interested in making you believe that vaping is significantly harmful are ALL people and groups who are losing money because people switch from smoking to vaping. Many, including myself and hundreds of customers I served when I worked in the industry (before EU restrictions and laws essentially killed it), could NOT quit smoking with any other means. Nicotine patches and gums do not replace the sensation of "inhaling smoke".

Smoking is a combination addiction that is not only based on one substance - nicotine - but a) a cocktail of substances and their effects on the body - most of which are absent in vaping, which makes it a bit difficult to switch for some people; such as carbon monoxide, and b) a behavior/ritual that in itself consists of various factors, such as holding something in your hand that you're then putting in your mouth, the feeling of something filling your mouth that has a 'texture' and isn't just air, the feeling of inhaling that, and lastly the feeling of exhaling it combined with the visual 'smoke' that comes out.

If e-cigarettes had not been invented, I'd still be smoking today. I tried books, acupuncture, hypnosis, patches, cold turkey, replacement with chewing gum or lollipops, etc. Nothing worked. I was and am that heavily addicted.

And now we keep seeing vaping being more and more restricted, even to the point of being entirely criminalized, in many countries in the world while SMOKING remains perfectly and fully legal everywhere.

My father who smoked since he was a teen died of throat and lung cancer at 68. And yes, I understand that is anecdotal, but he's far from the only one, and I'm far from the only one who KNOWS (through many of the cited studies but also through how my own body changed and healed) that I have significantly reduced my risk of ending up like my father.

Stop spreading harmful misinformation and DO spread the right information (i.e. actual studies, and not articles misrepresenting them to push their own agenda). It could literally save lives.

I know I sound like your mom but you kids need to stop fucking vaping