#if my coworkers thought i was weird before it's only gonna get worse

[bipolar-boygirl]

Made a new background

I am...... unwell

[highvern]

Sales Pitch

Pairing: Moon Junhui x fe!reader

Genre: Smut, 21+

Warnings: dom reader, sub/brat jun, anal sex (m. receiving), pegging, oral (m & f receiving), degradation, sex toys, impact play, breath play, freak deakys fr!!!

Length: 3.6k

Note: for my bestie @wenjunehui i hope its all you dreamed of and more pookie

Remember: Tumblr runs on reblogs and I run on validation in the tags and comments :)

Part II

read more here

This blog is intended for 18+ only! Minors/blank blogs will be blocked!

“Do you think these make my boobs look big?”

You turn to find Jun modeling the new shipment of nipple clamps over his shirt, the metal chain glinting across his chest from each peaked bud. His hands lift behind his head to further highlight the adornment.

“Gigantic.” You quip, diving back into the box filled with an assortment of lube.

In the six months you’ve been working at Bad Kittyz, you’ve discovered more about your coworker's weird fetishes than you really should. 

Even in snippets of conversation with customers, you hear him recommend toys and gadgets like he’s tried them all. Products that haven’t moved off the shelf since you started and look like they’ve sat there even longer than that he talks about like old friends. The day Jun discussed the installation of a sex swing with a woman pushing sixty you came to the conclusion the sex dungeon under his apartment must be stocked beyond belief.

A crash from behind you makes you turn, finding Jun stumbling as he struggles into a harness.

“What are you doing?”

“We got these strap ons and—”

Cutting him off, you eye him with confusion. “I can see that but why are you trying it on? You have a dick.”

“Sorry I like to give our customers my most informed opinion.” Jun rolls his eyes, going back to fidgeting with the straps.

“Please don’t say that.” You wince. “Not when you sold that sex machine yesterday.”

“What do you mean? You don’t think we should try the products before selling them?”

You blush at the implication that he’s tried everything he’s sold. Including the sex machine.

“I didn’t say that. But you don’t even need a strap.”

“I’m not gonna sell it without first hand knowledge.”

“I think that means you should get pegged then.” You sniff, turning back to your work.

You don’t want to be honed into his body. Every breath, every creak of the old floor boards as he moves closer. Even the heat of his body against your back wouldn’t register under normal circumstances but now it's overwhelming. 

Jun seems hell bent on making it even worse.

“Is that an offer?”

An entire day of preparation only serves to fan the flames of nervousness. Wrinkled laundry from weeks ago gets folded, every dish you own sits spotless in the cabinets; you’ve even lint rolled your couch. It’s more than you’ve done for any hookup before and it makes you jitter with embarrassment. 

The day barely dips into the afternoon by the time you're done. It gives you too much time to think. Your bedroom is off limits. Already prepped with fresh sheets, towels, and condoms. If you have to see the set up you might start scratching at the walls.

A shot of liquor helps take the edge away. Just enough you can sit on the couch without shaking out of your skin. But not enough to stop you from rotating through the same apps over and over in hopes a distraction will take your brain away from thoughts of Jun bent over the edge of your bed with his ass displayed.

When he finally arrives, you nearly puke. Because now its real and you’re about to fuck your hot coworker with a fake cock like its just another normal Thursday for him.

Jun smiles as you open the front door. It’s innocent at face value, only the edges tilting into something fouler. 

“What's up?”

“Please don’t try to act casual.” You warn, stepping aside so he can enter.

“No idea what you’re talking about.”

He flings himself onto the couch and somehow manages to still look hot despite the awkward angle of his limbs. The bag full of contraband sits on the floor, unassuming despite carrying a menagerie of who knows what. 

Crossing your arms in faux nonchalance, you nod towards the opposite end of your apartment. “Bathroom’s down the hall.”

“Okay?”

“Listen, it's not that I don’t trust you.” You sigh. It's a lie. You trust him as far as you can throw him. For all you know that tote bag could have cuffs and collars and a sex swing tucked away. “But I’m about to be closer to your ass than should be legal so I want to make sure.”

“Fine.” Jun shrugs, slipping past you while removing his shirt. “Are you coming too?”

The broad expanse of his back disappears behind the bathroom door. A creak preceding the patter of the shower vaguely registers in your brain still operating a mile behind. You don’t follow immediately, unwilling to bear to witness what he needs to get done. And maybe you want him to sweat for it, knock him off balance the same way you’ve been since he asked for this. 

But after a few minutes your feet move you his way, clothes falling with each step closer to the cracked door. But not before you snag the bottle of lube out of his bag. You’re almost disappointed by the lack of oddities beyond the strap on.

The hum of his voice bubbles behind the curtain. You find him lathered up when you duck into the stall, foamy tendrils lacing across his back and down his legs. 

“Wow, you don’t waste any time.” He jokes, turning over his shoulder to spot the bottle still squeezed tight in your palm.

Shouldering past him into the spray, you scoff.  “You asked me to pop your cherry and now you’re complaining?”

Jun doesn’t respond, scrubbing at his skin while following the streams of water webbing over your chest. You don’t object when he pulls you into his orbit, following until your mouths meet with ease. The nudge against your thigh feels juvenile against what you’re about to do but it doesn't stop you from taking advantage. 

Water doesn’t provide the smoothest glide but Jun doesn’t seem to mind, bucking into the catch of your palm. He turns pliant with a lazy swipe against his slit and a lick between his teeth. His shoulders shelter you from the downpour as you turn him, slowly dropping down until you’re face to face with his cock. 

Blinking lazily, you tongue where he leaks against your fingers, glowing at the twitch muscles across his stomach. Steam shrouds around his face but it can't hide the grind of his jaw.

“Good?” 

Jun nods, hands limp at his side. Finding the bottle again, your fingers shine with excess as you reach underneath and glide them across his ass. You suck him down to soften the stretch but Jun doesn’t so much as flinch when your finger slips in without resistance.

Popping off his cock, your eyebrow arches. “Have you done this before?”

“Umm,” he swallows, pinking from the neck up. “Define ‘this’?”

“Had fingers in your ass.”

He hesitates; bashful despite still being stretched over your knuckle. “Yes.”

“Wow, and here I thought I was special.”

Jun’s rebuttal is lost to a groan, ripped out by the curve of your throat against the head of his cock. The timidity of taking his first time evaporates through your veins, replaced by the hunger to be the best he’ll ever get.

A second finger proves little challenge either and you almost pull back to goad him but one glance at Jun’s face hints he might cum if you degrade him too much. Instead, you take the satisfaction of his taste on your tongue as a win and keep curling your fingers until his hips kick.

“More lube,” he croaks.

You rush to do what he asks, pouring so much onto your fingers it drips down his legs when you press back in with a third finger. The new stretch has you gagging on him again.

“Fuck yeah. Oh shit.”

Replacing your mouth with a hand, you lap at the raised vein running from his base to his abs. “How big is the dildo you brought?”

His Adam's apple bobs with your next stroke. “I–Mhmmm.”

“Jun, how big is it?”

The water creeps cold and you're about to start humping his leg if you don’t find something new to distract yourself with. So you stop until he answers.

“Small.” 

You reward him with a quick glide but that's all. “Think you’re ready?”

A quick inhale and a nod has you rising to your feet, rinsing off your used hand before turning the faucet and exiting into the chilly air.

“Grab the lub—” 

Jun cuts you off with his mouth. He laps away his own taste, nearly bending you in half with enthusiasm. The idea of lifting your leg and letting him fuck you against the counter whispers in the back of your mind; how easy he can fill you before you take him back to your bed and give him the same treatment. But, just based on how he kisses, you can tell if you indulge now then you’ll be much too tired later.

His stomach bows when your nails find his nipple, scraping the sensitive bud on a whim. Something about the way he responds, whiney and breathless, sends you into a frenzy. 

“Go grab,” a pass of his teeth, “your bag and,” another draw of his tongue. “Meet me in my room.” 

You almost cave to his attempt at drowning you in his affection but you break away, turning back to the shower for the bottle. Jun’s hand ghosts down your spine, fingers digging into the swell of your ass for a second until he dissolves through the door.

Unable to prolong the charade, you follow only a few seconds behind. 

Jun sprawls across your bed like a renaissance painting. Nothing but long limbs and lean muscle. Damp skin shimmering like liquid golden in the light of the singular lamp. One leg bent at the knee, not so subtly bringing your gaze to his length; stiff and sticky against his thigh. The harness rests at the foot of the bed, more daunting than the naked man only feet away.

Tossing the bottle of lube down, you grab the tangle of straps and try to orient yourself. It’s straightforward but the crawl of eyes over your body makes you falter. 

“Stop staring at me.” You bite when you nearly drop the entire thing.

Jun huffs, an arm flinging over his face. “I grabbed the one with a vibe built in. But you can use the normal one if you want.”

You refuse to dwell on the sweetness in such a vulgar scenario. The thick purple vibrator rests next to a smaller black one, both sleek silicone. If he’s offering you equal pleasure you’d be a fool not to take it so you snatch up the larger of the two and set to work. 

The harness shimmies up your hips almost too easily. All it takes is a tug here and a pull there and you’re ready to dick down your hot coworker with a fake cock and too much lube. And its when you notice the ring of plastic on the nightstand.

“What's this?”

You know what it is. Unpacked a box of them a few days ago while he helped a customer pick out a fleshlight. But getting Jun to admit it makes you salivate.

He peeks from behind his hand, eyes dropping to your finger donned with the cock ring. The smirk on your face refuses to be concealed under his view.

“A dick in your ass isn’t enough?” You ask, feigning innocence as you round the bed and sink the cushion under your knees. “Or are you really that much of a freak?”

Jun sinks back. Crawling over him, you plant on his thighs, savoring the twitch of his own cock when you drop the piece of silicon on his stomach. Your fake dick and his real one clash beautifully next to one another. You worry you’ve pushed too far, growing hesitant under his moon eyed gaze.

Raking your nails across his stomach, and Jun finally answers your goad when you reach the crease of his hip.

“I’m—I’m a freak.”

It’s completely silent as you eye one another up. Pupils blown and chest heaving at the cliff you’re about to jump off of.

“Then show me.”

Creeping up his chest, you rest the tip of the strap against the pink of his mouth. He doesn’t miss a beat, leaves no room for any more nerves as he sucks it in, the purple disappearing inch by inch behind his lips. 

You should have known he’d be messy, anticipated the way he drools and moans. But it hits you like you can actually feel any pleasure through the faux extension. Even if you don’t feel physical stimulation, his hands at your ass, pushing your hips until you catch his hint and give a few shallow thrusts of your own, makes your ears ring.

Jun campaigns for gold, swallowing around the intrusion like he loves nothing more than taking cock. Like he could cum like this, untouched, gagging on a fake dick while you watch him.

“Shit,” you curse as his nose meets your stomach, bottoming out in the softness of his throat like he’s sucked more dick than you’d believe.

You curse again when one of his hands drops to find the button that’ll make the end of the cock buried inside you vibrate. Hips rutting into the stimulation, tears bead in his eyes while he chokes. 

Rising away you push him back when he attempts to follow, “Fuck, thats enough. Jesus Christ.”

You find the bottle of lube and the cock ring. Dribbling a generous dose on his cock, you wait until he starts rolling it down.  Jun doesn’t resist the urge to jerk off, knuckles brushing against the spit soaked plastic of the strap.

Tangling your fingers with his own, you squeeze him through a tight fist until he’s kicking. 

“Turn around,” you breathe. “Don’t stop, but if you cum I will.”

He doesn’t tell you that he can’t cum with the new addition but the idea that he is staving off licks up your spine. 

More lube shines across his ass and you slide the head of the dildo through the mess in a tease, barely nudging at his entrance before moving away. The way he attempts to force you in is nothing compared to the curve of his spine when his chest falls to the sheets.

“C’mon,” he whines.

A fist stops him from sinking back, giving him just an inch of pure frustration and nothing more.

“How bad do you want it?”

“So bad.” Jun groans, gifted with another inch of stretch before you stop him again.

Draping over his back, you nip at his earlobe before whispering, “Then ask for it.”

Rising up, you give a harsh tug of hair, a broken cry cracking through the air.

“Please, please, please,” he chants.

Annoyance taints your sigh, sending you back to square one with the fake cock resting between his cheeks. It’s hard to pretend you’re not just as desperate. Between the heaven blessed image of Jun on his knees, begging for cock, and the vibrations making your thighs twitch, you’re nearly on the verge of begging him to fuck you instead.

You squirt more lube, making it messier like some cheap porno. Clean up will suck but right now you don't care.

“Please what?” You sing, hand massaging the lube between his cheeks.

“Please fuck me!”

You don’t wait for more, rewarding the bare minimum by letting him take as much as he wants as fast as he wants it. There’s no way he’s never done this before. Jun rides dick better than you, keeping pace without faltering and rocking with so much enthusiasm you itch for your phone to record such depravity.

Each clap of his ass against your pelvis rocks the toy just right inside you, until you're seizing. Part of you hates he’s getting you off so easily. And you take it out by leaving a red copy of your hand on his ass. 

Jun collapses with a squeak and you follow. Each rut of your hips has him rippling with one of his own, destroyed between the fullness of his ass and the roughness of your sheets against the sensitive tip of his cock. 

“Harder,” he whines.

You try. But few pathetic cants leave him crying for more than you can provide with the angle you’re in. 

Jun’s limbs shoot out when you sit back, scrambling to be full again. He looks over his shoulder, tears in his eyes as he opens his mouth. No doubt to curse you to high heavens for edging him.

“Flip over.”

On autopilot he flips to his back, knees rising to his chest to show off the damage you’ve done. His cock sits wet and aching, stiff in the confines of the cock ring. 

You slip back in, only teasing with more light strokes while working off his confines; the insatiable hunger to see him covered in his own cum infecting your every move. Jun’s lips are bruised, worried between his teeth at ever pass against that spot inside him. It’s worse when you circle his cock. Each jerk in time with your hips sending his head further back into the pillows and baring his throat for whatever marks you want to leave.

But Jun doesn’t crave the sting of your teeth or the plump drag of your tongue. Instead, without an ounce of reserve, he pulls your hand up the dip between his collar bones, blankets your hand with his own, and squeezes.

“You’re such a slut,” you spit, delighting in cutting his next moan off before it can even begin. “Say it. Say you're a slut.”

“I’m a slut!”

“Can’t hear you.”

Flailing under the beratement, Jun groans again. “I’m a slut!”

He’s so easy. So eager to roll in the pleasure and pain you provide. It bleeds through his features, the way his body contorts and his face shifts. It makes you itch to stretch him so far he has no choice but to snap. 

“Are you gonna cum?” Your voice is hopeful. Its all you want. All you need. “Is this all it takes? Getting called a slut with your ass full and you’re ready to blow your load?”

Another violent curl of his back until he’s nearly in half. “Shit, yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes!”

This time when you stop, Jun takes over immediately. The tip of his cock peaks through his fist, pearly beads dripping until he seizes. Rope after rope paints his chest, crude gems in the low light. Face twisted in pure agony. He looks like a dream. Like a model in the magazines tucked away in the backroom of the shop. 

The end of the vibrator buried inside you keeps you at a dull hum. You bubble just on the edge of your orgasm but watching Jun twitch and writhe is better than anything you can possibly think of. Except dipping down and lapping away the stains on his skin, sucking his cum coated nipples until he drives you on to your back. 

It takes some maneuvering but he manages to wedge his tongue under the toy and find the patch of nerves like he’s been there a thousand times. 

He laps at your clit, hot and languid and dirty; all while he angles the vibrator buried inside you to bully against your front wall, breaking you into a twitching sweaty mess.

“Fuck, oh fuck—don’t stop.”

Your back curves, spine bending almost in half when Jun sucks and delivers another harsh push bordering on cruel. His free hand lands flat on your chest, forcing your shoulders back into the pillows with ease.

“Please, please, please,” you chant, curling your hips up into Jun’s face. He abandons his previous grips, focusing on guiding your body across his tongue until your thighs spasm.

His groans echo loudly despite his face being buried in your cunt; scorching into your muscles until it hurts. Cruel fingers pluck at your nipples, tugging until you yelp and then pinching some more.  Jun doesn’t stop until you wedge your fingers between your pussy in his mouth, continuing to lick and suck until he opens his eyes and realizes you're swatting him away.

Croaking an intelligible nose, you collapse; only focused on the soaking kisses across your hips and up your breasts. The tickle of Jun’s bangs against your neck don’t even elicit a response. The room spins as you return to your body. Only the weight of the man on top of you keeps you from floating away. 

Later, after another shower that is really only an excuse for some lazy groping and equally lethargic kisses, you cuddle up on the couch. Jun decides your chest is his new home, happily buried between your breasts while the movie drones on in the back. Weed still reeks in the air but it makes the edges hazy, glowing like the sun beats through your veins. 

“Ya know,” Jun whispers into your sternum. “Next week we’re getting ball gags.”

It doesn’t throw you off. Your fingers continue combing through his hair, nails scratching his scalp until goosebumps bloom on his bare back. “Let me guess, you wanna try them out?”

“If you’re offering.”

Your next exhale carries you to sleep. “Only if I get to wear it.”

@tomodachiii @cvpidyunho @miniseokminnies @ddaengpotate @arycutie @gaebestie @primoppang @gyuguys @mine-gyu @doremifasire @missminhoe @toplinehyunjin @crvs4vldtn @prettygyuuu @horanghaezone

© highvern. copying/reuploading/translating my work anywhere is strictly prohibited.

[ummmlife]

Yandere!Nanami as your boyfriend

now before we start you have to understand that the darkest and twisted part of my heart belongs to this concept of Nanami. This takes place in an alternative universe where Akutami got along with Nanami's original design as a curse user.

this man just had enough with his life as a salaryman and one day he murdered all his coworkers and boss. so this is where his whole personality changed.

Haibara's death, Geto's choosing to be a curse user before him, the higher-ups and their shit, Nanami simply had enough. he stops minding what people could think (since he's basically a crimal with a death sentence on) and surrendered to his most sicking and deepest desires.

now when it comes to you, Nanami met you after his transformation. if he had a partner before, he could have never become a criminal. this Nanami isn't the Nanami we know and love, he's worse, he already killed hundreds of people so why could he be a normal and mentally stable partner?

said that, please beware of:

Warning! ; Yandere!Nanami , nsfw (mdni) , violence and abuse , nc , obsessive and abusive behavior (from Nanami) , physical and psychological abuse , very dark themes , afab reader , evil Nanamin rawr. i swear, this isn't nice at all, so if you're sensitive, please avoid reading

When Nanami saw you walking alone to your home on a cold Thursday night after a long day of work/study, he simply couldn't take his eyes from you. How weird, this is the first time he has this kind of need.

Nanami slowly started to walk behind you, keeping a distance of two blocks as you kept walking.

Finally, when you turned to a very lonely neighborhood to shortcut your way home, he walked faster and held you from behind, making sure to cover your mouth, — "Shh, shh, shh… Don't make a noise, I'm not planning to hurt you".

Even though Nanami is a, now very sadist and evil man, he keeps his gentleness intact… in his own way.

— "Don't you like it? I bought these specially for you, my dear". Nanami kidnapped you, fortunately he hasn't abused you (yet), he just tries to force you to believe that you're in a relationship with him. Now he has bought a new pair of handcuffs, hinged metal handcuffs. He just wants to make sure you don't run away.

He keeps you in a dark room with a single mattress on the floor and a monitor to watch you. If it wasn't because of the context, Nanami could be the most passionate and romantic man that you could ask for, but he's your kidnapper and you are in a situation of life and death.

That one time you decided to talk back to him you got beaten up in a very nasty way. — "I'm sorry, my pet. But you need to understand that my word is the last one and you shouldn't talk back to me". He didn't even bother to clean the blood from your face or the tears of your eyes that day.

Are you into nudism? No? Oh well, you better start being a nudism enthusiast! Nanami could keep you naked, why would you need clothes anyway? He likes to grope your body and kiss you everywhere, especially after a long day of working with Geto (yes, he's with Geto). — "Hmm… Your skin is so soft, my love. Ah! No, no, no, don't try to fight back. You know that I owe you, this little cunt is all mine".

Now here is where things get bad for you. If you thought that Nanami could never want to use you to please his "special needs" you thought wrong. Yes, Nanami could fuck you even without your consent, he's a massive murdered, he doesn't need your permission or pleasure to feel good, in fact, he likes your face of distress and fear when he starts abusing your holds.

— "Hah… That's it…". This man the devil himself when he gets to fuck you, the only lub he needs it's your (forced) cum after he eats you out, and if he doesn't, oh well, I hope you be a masochist. — "Hmm! Are you crying already? Haha, oh dear, I'm just starting here. I'm gonna fuck this tiny cunt until you pass out again".

Of course, all of this is your fault. It's your fault that you're here with him, it's your fault for walking alone at night, it's your fault for being so freaking beautiful for him.

Nanami is terrifying. Even if you get some kind of Stockholm syndrome, you'll live terrified of him.

Let's say that you behave very well for him, accepting every single kind of abuse he has given you and even loving him back. He won't let you leave his apartment, but you now can walk around it and even sleep with him at night. Now you can even wear clothes! Of course, with no underwear underneath, he needs easy access to your pussy after all.

Even seeing you trying to look outside the window enrages him. He can't bear the possibility of another man wanting you, that's why he kidnapped you, after all, to keep you for him and him only. So that time when you attempted to escape and he caught you, he put the handcuffs on your wrist again and locked you in that dark and cold room again, as a punishment. — "You're mine. If you ever try to run away again, I'll beat you to death".

This man has brainwashed your mind after all these months to make you believe that you have no other choice but to be with him. He knows about your family and has threatened you to kill them if you ever leave him.

— "What if for our anniversary I give your womb a baby? Hmm? Couldn't you like it?". He's being serious, he wants a family with you. — "Oh, I know you don't want any children, dear, I know. But you have to understand that it could make me really happy, don't you want your boyfriend to be happy? What kind of girlfriend could you be if you don't make me happy?"

It's not like you could say no. If you decide to oppose he will beat you up and r word you, so be smart and accept to let him breed you.

— "You're so wet tonight, dear… Fuck, so fucking wet for me". With no other option left, you feel how Nanami is stretching your pussy with his (massive cof cof) dick. The best way to conceive a baby is in mating press, so Nanami is on top of you, with his tongue deep inside your mouth for a sloppy kiss as he's pounding all his cum to your uterus. — "Hah, darling! You're taking me so well, you have been milking me for hours now. Haha! I'm not done yet, I'm gonna get you pregnant tonight". His determination is kinda scary at his point, he's getting you and himself more than overstimulating as he cums for the 3rd time tonight. — "You're gonna look so lovely carrying my baby in your belly. Mhm, just thinking about it makes me hard again".

Getting pregnant or not, you now have to accept your new life. Any concept of freedom or a happy life has been already erased from your mind, now you can only try to bear with your new reality.

Yandere!Nanami is this sickeningly and abusive man. The one who privated you of your freedom, starves you from time to time, isolated you, abused you and forced you to make a family with him. You were so damn pretty that night when he found you, he couldn't just lose his opportunity, and only hell knows how happy he is to have found you.

good that our Nanami isn't like this at all, right? i'll write something sane and lovely about my man another day ‹𝟹

[a-aexotic]

half & half. part 003. previous

warnings ; mentions of creepiness, robbery? following, a punch, an argument (lmk if i miss anything) a/n: ALSO if you guys want to be in the taglist lmk, i have like two people on there so far

taglist: @steveharringtonswifey09 main masterlist. obx masterlist.

You woke up that morning, feeling the bed was more empty than last night. You assumed that Rafe had left earlier this morning and you couldn't help but feel a tiny bit disappointed. The more you thought about it, the more silly the thought had become.

You shouldn't feel disappointed, not even a little bit. Why would you be? I mean sure, you saved him. But it's not anything special, anyone else on the island would've done the same. Right?

You woke up and checked the time and realized you were going to be late for work. You quickly got dressed and brushed your teeth and hair, putting on some sunscreen before running downstairs. It was around 9:30 so your parents were having breakfast.

They were sitting in the dining room as you walked down the stairs quickly trying to find the first thing you could just eat on the way.

"Morning sweetie, how'd you sleep?" Your mother voiced.

"Uh, good. Good. In a hurry, if I'm late one more time Jill's gonna have my head."

"Not with me as the owner," Your father joked as your mother smiled. But you knew one complaint from you and she's out the door. You quickly grabbed the banana in your mother bowl and put it in your tote.

"Also honey, tell Sarah to stay for breakfast next time she stays over, we heard her leave this morning."

You froze at your mother's comment before quickly humming in response. "Y-Yeah, I will. She just wanted to watch the uh, sunrise this morning."

Your father gave your mother a weird look but she brushed it off. "Yeah, that sounds like Sarah! Okay, sweetie. Go or you're going to be late."

"Okay thanks mom, I'll be home around like 7 tonight. I might spend the night at Sarah's though, it depends." You walked out of the dining room.

"Okay, text me. I love you!" She shouted from the dining room.

"Love you too!"

When you got to the country club, you went to check in with a now very angry Jill. She watched you walk into her office, a scowl on her wrinkly and orange face.

"You were supposed to be here 20 minutes ago, Y/N. This is the second time this week."

"I was late like 5 minutes yesterday and that was just because I couldn't find any parking." You refuted quietly. You felt like a little kid getting lectured. You should be used to it by now, you get a lecture from Jill almost everyday.

Jill grumbled before her face morphed into a mischievous one, "Well then, plan accordingly. I want you to work on the golf course with Mr. Winston and his buddies as punishment."

You gaped at her, disbelief in your face. You can't believe she pulled that card. She heard you talking with your coworker about how weird they were and she has the nerve to use that against you?

"Okay, Y/N. Go along." She waved her hands at you, signaling you to leave her office. You knew better than to just quit right there, or worse, get her fired. But people in the country club already call you 'nepo-baby', it would only make it worse.

You walked out to the golf course before you were stopped by a familiar voice. You turned around to see Topper and Kelce jogging up to you. You felt yourself look around to try and find the missing piece to their trio but you quickly turned back after not finding him. You felt stupid for even looking for him in the first place.

"Hey, Y/N!" Topper greeted you with a big smile, a weird sight for you. You'd never actually hung out with Topper outside of parties or at school. Kelce was close behind, waving.

"Hey, Topper and uh, Kelce. What's up?" Your voice dripped with skepticism as you held up your hand to shield your eyes from the hot Outer Banks sun.

"We were wondering if you have an employee discount."

"Or uh, family discount." Topper continued with Kelce’s statement.

You looked at the two of them, confusion on your face. "Maybe, depends on why?"

"Well, we want the discount because we spent all our weekly allowances already." Topper announced a little too proudly as you held in a laugh.

"You guys have weekly allowances?" What are you, 12? You wanted to say but you decided it was best if you hadn't.

They both nodded in response.

Before you could reply, you saw a familiar face walk up to the three of you, sunglasses on his face and a backwards cap - his signature look.

"Are these losers bothering you, Y/N?" Rafe commented before getting an eye roll from Topper. The black eye was evident on his face but he tried his best to hide it with his Burberry sunglasses and everyone hadn’t noticed except you.

"No, dude we're just asking if we could use her family discount." Kelce added. Rafe had let out a laugh before waving them off. You tried your absolute best not to laugh, a smile on your face. It was really entertaining seeing one of the richest OBX guys ask for a family discount.

"Since when are you guys broke?"

"Actually Rafe-"

"It's fine. You guys can use it just say you're friends of the family and they'll give the discount, if not you can call me over."

Topper gave you a big smile and then gave you a pat on the shoulder. "You a real one, Y/N, thanks!"

Him and Kelce high fived before happily walking away. Rafe stayed behind, turning to you and opened his mouth to say something.

"Yo, Rafe, hurry the fuck up man we're not waiting for you. Lunch's on me!" Topper shouted causing Rafe to groan in response, rolling his eyes.

"Okay, dude, fine. I'm just apolozing to her because that was the most embarassing thing you've done all week, which is saying a lot-"

"Dude, just hurry the fuck up."

Rafe mumbled something under his breathe before giving you a sympathetic look, jogging to catch up with his friends. You felt you heart jump.

You cursed yourself under your breathe before quickly walking away, trying to find Mr. Winston.

You and the Pogues were currently in town, shopping. You were just bored and wanted to treat yourself and knowing JJ, he tagged along. But if JJ came, the whole crew had to come with you guys. So now a simple trip downtown turned into a whole hang out for you and the Pogues.

After a long two hours of shopping, Kie dragged you guys into her favorite taco place. You couldn't say no to her because she was extremely convincing and you were starving; you hadn't eaten since lunch.

JJ and Pope were up at the counter, ordering for everyone as you and Kie sat down and waited. "Hey, do you know where John B went?"

You shook your head, "Not sure. Um, let me call him." You felt around in your pockets and then quickly realized you had left it in your car. Thankfully, it was a 2 minute walk so it wasn't far. "Shit, I left my phone in the car. I'll be right back."

Kie nodded as you walked out of the restaurant and started making your way to your car. As soon as you left, you instantly regretted not taking Kie with you.

There were a lot of drunks around this time of day and you didn't feel safe. You only had your car keys but you didn't know how much that could really do if someone did end up trying to do something to you.

Thankfully, you reached your car relatively fast. You took your tote quickly, locking your car as you closed the door.

When you started walking back, you felt someone's eyes on you. You turned your head to see a man following you and you instantly went in your tote to grab your pepper spray. You doubted he was going to do anything on such a main street but you had to be prepared.

You felt your heart race as he started gaining speed on you, as you started walking fast. Sooner than you know it, you're close to the restaurant; you could see it.

Then, your heart dropped once you heard a rough voice. "You got any spare change?"

You turned to see the man from before. He looked like he was in his mid 40s, he was red from the sun. He had a black hoodie on and some shorts.

You shook your head politely, "No, sorry. I only carry card."

He smirked at that, "are you sure a pretty lady like you doesn't have any cash on her somewhere in that purse?"

You shook your head and immediately started walking away, fast. He then grabbed your arm and a yelp erupted from your throat. Then you heard the man grunt in pain and let go of your arm.

You turned back to see none other than the boy who's been harboring your mind since the entire day: Rafe Cameron.

He then grabbed the man by the collar and threw another punch, causing the man to fall backwards on his back. He made another grunt that was filled with pain.

You didn't know what to do, you just stood there in shock. Then you heard some shouting in the back and you turned to see JJ and Pope running towards you, Kie following close behind.

Rafe looked up and JJ made his way towards him; you felt the anger radiating from him. "Why the fuck are you talking to my sister, huh, Cameron?"

Rafe put his hands up, "Calm down, asshole. This dude was harassing her and I helped her. Thanks to me she isn't getting robbed right now."

JJ scoffed and looked down at the man, "I'm supposed to believe that bullshit? And why would you save my sister? Don't you hate us?"

"I hate you," Rafe clarified as he went up in JJ's face, pointing a finger in his chest. "Unlike you and your dirty pogue friends, she's actually nice so, no. I don't hate her." He looked at you and you heard JJ let out a bitter laugh, grabbing Rafe by the collar.

You immediately jumped in and grabbed JJ. "Stop, JJ. It's fine, it was a misunderstanding, let's just go eat, okay?"

"A misunderstanding? Y/N, he called us-"

"I said, let's go." You said tightly, your voice stern and tense. Kie and Pope were behind you, surveying the scene in front of them. JJ let go of Rafe and started walking away as you, Kie and Pope waited.

"Thanks, Rafe." You muttered, a small smile making it's way on to your face. Kie quickly grabbed your arm, making you turn to walk back to the restaurant, leaving Rafe and the man alone.

You walked back into the restaurant, Pope and Kie following suit. You readied yourself for JJ's reaction. He sat at the table, arms crossed as he looked at the food.

You took a seat next to him and he silently glared at you while Kie and Pope awkwardly sat across from the both of you. They ate in silence but JJ didn't even touch his food.

"JJ, you aren't hungry?" You finally spoke up.

"No."

"Come on, eat a little bit. I know you only had a granola bar, you must be-"

"Y/N, you're not my fucking mom, I don't need you to nag on me. I said I'm not hungry."

Everyone tensed up immediately as JJ spoke. You furrowed your eyebrows, "sorry, what?"

JJ turned to you. "You heard me. Why don't you go and hang out with the Kooks since you're so friendly with them, right? You're their best friend, good ol' Y/N, right? You don't need us Pogues anymore."

"JJ you have no clue what the fuck you're even talking about." You defended as JJ let out another bitter and rough laugh. "Just because Rafe stood up for me doesn't mean we're friends, it just means he's nice-"

"Nice?!" JJ shouted, in utter disbelief at your words. "If Rafe's nice then I'm the most fucking gracious person on Earth."

You scoffed and rolled your eyes at JJ's audacity.

JJ then stood up and slammed his chair back in. "If you had any ounce of respect for us, you would never associate with that asshole or even talk to him. I guess you are Kook, through and through. You're no Maybank, Y/N, let alone a Pogue."

You were so angry, you were ready to hit JJ right then and there. "I would never, ever want to be a Maybank, JJ. I guess you are right, because if Kook means open-minded, not judgmental and not fucking crazy, then yes. I am!"

JJ took one more look at you and then sneered at you, walking out of the restaurant. Kie and Pope watched JJ as he walked away and you looked back at them, sudden guilt filling your system. You just ruined their dinner because of a stupid fight with JJ. You also felt bad for making a scene in such a public place, embarrassment falling down on you. You reminded yourself to leave an extra good tip for the waiters.

Kie was worried, she'd seen you guys fight and argue, but never to this extent. You'd always make up in a day or so, but this felt like this was going to drag on.

"Hey guys, what'd I miss?" John B suddenly appeared and sat in JJ's seat, everyone exchanging awkward glances.

[fearlessword]

I’ll meet you in my dreams - Chapter 3

Summary: You dreamed of the boy who played piano before you knew who he was. Humming the melodies you heard in your sleep brought BTS into your life and you thought it was just meant to be.When you finally have the chance to see him perform live, you realize that the dreams you have are more than a coincidence. You hope he dreams of you too.

Slow burn/ Slow build/ canon divergence/ d-day tour / soulmate- ish

Pairing: Idol! Min Yoongi x Reader

Ongoing

Masterlist

Author’s note: You are the kindest readers! Really! My phone kept lighting up with notifications of your likes and even some comments! Thank you so much! I am currently writing chapter 6, I wanted it to be ready before the 13th, but it may take longer than that. Chapters 1-5 are already posted on AO3. Thank you for the love and I hope you like this one! See you soon!

“You’ll never see, you sing me to sleep every night from the radio”

March 1st, 2023

Your hands were tied now. You got waitlisted, Cami got waitlisted, the other coworkers without a membership didn’t stand a chance. You are sure a code isn’t a guarantee that the tickets would be yours. The only hope was a friend of one of the teachers at the school, that was the only person you knew that had the code, and well, maybe you have a new ARMY friend now.

Just the fact that someone got the code was a relief. The downside was that there’s nothing you can do, and, considering you were a control freak, having no other option but wait was enough to make you freak out.

To be honest, everybody was freaking out, from your roommate to your co-workers and even the principal, everyone knew how important this was to you because you were acting crazy and anxious, everyone signed for the pre-sale (even if you knew that people without memberships wouldn’t stand a chance). Today, of all days, you felt cared for by everyone around, who made a point to check if you were okay.

So, when the afternoon came, and the bell rang announcing the end of the school day, you bid your students farewell and immediately opened twitter on your laptop, just to check how things were going. There was nothing you could do on the Ticketmaster website, your account wasn’t linked to a code anyways.

“You know, refreshing twitter 1000 times per minute won’t make it any easier. I’d say it will make it worse.” Camila’s voice echoed behind you.

“I know, I know. I just need to know. It’s my first time doing this, and I’m not actually doing this and it’s driving me insane!” You retorted standing up and pacing.

“Woah, have you thought about calling her? I’m sure she’s nervous too”

“Don’t you think that’s too controlling of me to do that? We kind of talked about the seats we want and the other options in case they sell out. I’m so obsessed with this man it’s probably not healthy.”

“ I mean, you are a fan and it means something to you and it’s obvious you have a connection of some kind with him because you keep dreaming about him which is weird and interesting at the same time” she rambled “But, you are also paying and you are a fan, so, I know this is important to you, and not too much at all, just facetime her!”

You stared at your friend and smiled. Then, grabbed you phone in your bag and called Natalie, your newest ARMY friend.

“Hi, ________! I was about to call you”

“No way!”

Cami looks at you with arched eyebrows, amused.

“ Yes! You know, we both want the Saturday show, but I was thinking that maybe I should try the queue for Wednesday or Thursday too. Just in case. Many people will want to go on Saturday cause it’s the weekend, I want to make sure I can get us tickets”

“Uh, sure, I mean, Saturday is ideal, but I also don’t want to risk it” You answer.

“Alright, any minute now. Floor as close as possible or any of the side lower bowls right? I don’t know why I am asking, we talked about it. I’m so nervous” she lets out a nervous laugh and you laugh as well. At least you’re not the only one.

“ It’s gonna be okay, I’m sure we’ll get great seats” You don’t know if you’re telling this to her or to yourself, still, you try to believe it.

“We will. It 's time! Wish me luck”

“Good luck, Natalie!”

“_________, the page is refreshing! Oh God! I hope the school’s wifi is good enough” At exactly 3 p.m Natalie's nervous face gives space to focused features. You held your phone tighter and sat on your desk, shaking your legs while silently watching the woman’s face through the screen.

“ More than 2000 people in front of me, what the fuck” Your heart stops at the same minute, even if you could get to the map page, the chances of getting a great seat seemed far away now.

“More than 2000 for the one on Thursday too… Come on!” She paused and then screamed “Oh my God, 200 people before us for Wednesday”

“God, Natalie! I was about to cry here”

“Don’t fail on me, Ticketmaster.”

Your free hand runs through your hair, making a mess of the long curls. You wonder how many of your students are probably going through this same process right now, and you want to laugh and cry at the same time.

“It’s my turn… let me see. We want the floor… _________, floor is general admission, are you okay with that? It’s the soundcheck too.”

“Yes. I’m good with that, yes”

“Okay, selecting… Your credit card number is on my account, right, let’s get it, please ticketmaster work for once in your life, let me get it”

At this point, you didn’t even want to look at the screen, you knew how this website was tricky on pre-sale days, especially after the whole fiasco with the Taylor Swift Tour. You hoped the website wouldn't break down on Natalie’s turn. It felt like time was passing slower than it should, your legs hanging from the desk couldn’t move more, and you were scared of having the chance just so to have it taken away from you.

“Yougottheticketslettheanticipationbegin, __________!!!!! We are seeing him”

“Did it work?” You look at the screen and she’s showing you the confirmation page.

“It worked! Oh my God! I can’t believe it actually worked. Oh fuck it’s on a Wednesday, my poor students. Oh God, we are seeing him”

“Are we truly seeing him?!” Excitement was an understatement, you squeaked and jumped from the desk and smiled so big your cheeks hurt.

“____________, I’ll talk to you later, maybe I can still talk to the HR and tell them I’ll need the day off, make sure to do that too, okay?”

“Natalie, I can’t thank you enough. Thank you so, so, so much!”

“No worries, I can’t wait to scream with you during the show”

You put your phone away and look at Camila, who was watching the whole scene silently with a smirk on her face.

“Tell me this isn’t a dream”

“It’s not a dream, amiga. You’re seeing the guy from your dreams so soon now”

“This does not feel real. It was so fast.”

“It was meant to be. I feel it.” You cover you tearing eyes with both hands and and giggle as you hear your best friend saying that.

“I'm seeing Yoongi”

“About that, now that you got a ticket for the concert here, I should give you this” She took a folded sheet of paper out of the back pocket of her jeans and handed it to you.

“And that is?”

“Just unfold it and see”

And so you did, and looking at the paper, you couldn’t help but shed some tears.

“Is this what I think it is?

“If you think it is a confirmation email for a ticket of one of the shows in Korea, then yes, yes it is”

“Cami, how did you do this?”

“You forget that you made me get a fan club membership, so I wanted to make sure you saw him.”

“In Korea?” You say in a high-pitched voice.

“It’s not that difficult to stay up and buy tickets in the middle of the night, when you have a real purpose. I mean, I got a nosebleed, I hope you don’t mind, I guess the time difference and lack of practice count when doing this, but I got it and it’s during Summer and you don’t have school as an excuse for not going, so you better get your savings for your Korea trip and actually buy flight tickets to go to Korea and see your dream man there.”

“You are the craziest person I’ve ever met” You hug your friend tight, not knowing what to do with the tsunami of information that came in your direction in the last 15 minutes.

“Besides, I think that your dreaming about this guy is weird but I also feel there’s something there and I know you won’t do anything about it if there’s no push. So here’s your push, consider this an early birthday gift.”

“I don’t know what kind of ideas you have about this, but they are just dreams.Thank you. Hell, I’ll see him twice”

“Yes, _________, yes, you will”

🪷🪷🪷

April 21st, 2023

The first thing you did when your alarm went off was to grab your phone and open the Youtube app. Thankfully, the miniature for the music video was already on your home page, so you lost no time and just played the video.

To say you were mesmerized and entranced by the music video and the song playing was an understatement, you were so impressed by the lyrics and the two versions of Yoongi you were seeing, everything looked so perfect, and that was enough to make you excited to listen to the entire album. But it was when Yoongi pulled a cigarette out of the box with his teeth that you let out a loud squeal, that made your roommate come check on you.

“Are you thirsting for the BTS guy at this time in the morning?”

“He just smoked a cigarette in the MV”

“You hate those things!"

“He made it look really hot”

Cami rolled her eyes and dragged herself to your bed.

“Come on, I wanna see it”

You both get comfortable on your bed and you restart the video. Your roommate watches attentively, and teases you, elbowing you slightly everytime a cigarette appears. You end up watching the rest of the video together and you barely have words when it comes to an end.

“He is really an artist” that’s all you can say.

“I saw what you meant with the smoking thing, nice song, he’s just not really my type”

“And what’s your type?”

“A tall brunette with a buzzcut and very, very handsome, but also nice and kind and good with his words. He could also be a doctor, maybe, I don’t know”

“That’s oddly specific”

“Well, maybe you get to meet him soon”

“I get to WHAT?”

“We need to get ready, we are teachers and we can’t really be late, come on”

“Camila, get your ass right here” you scream as she runs through the door. “This is not over!”

You laugh as you get ready to work. You decide to listen to the album after you get home, to actually pay attention to the lyrics. As you walk to the subway station, you make sure to run your lesson plans for the day through your mind, taking the time to also plan the Friday night ahead of you.

Your work day goes by slowly, like every other Friday. At this point of the school year, with Summer Vacation approaching, your students don’t want to have classes anymore and, if you’re being honest, as much as you love your job, you weren’t fond of teaching at this time of the year either. So you did your best to make your lessons light and fun, for them and for you, eventually taking some time to talk about topics that were interesting for all of them.

When the bell rings, you wish a great weekend for everyone and pack your things as quickly as you can to walk to the subway station. As usual, you stop at Times Square, but instead of changing trains, you decide to walk around the small Bryant Park. You buy yourself the sweetest and creamiest cold brew. The cold coffee was not the best idea, considering the city was still chilly, but it was your favorite, and it was your way of treating yourself after a long hard week of work. You people watch for a while, taking in the groups of tourists walking on 42nd street, from where you assume was Grand Central, in the direction of the outdoors on Times Square. You see people talking, sitting around the tiny green tables, you observe the empty carousel, and the outfits of the women walking around (those were always nice to watch). You observe the mix of trees and the buildings all together and the food trucks around and although this area of the city was incredibly chaotic and not your favorite to walk around, you were glad you could sit and appreciate the beauty in this chaos.

After taking the Q train and arriving in your apartment, you take a long relaxing shower and wear your most comfortable set of PJs. You feel inspired to cook a nice dinner to watch the documentary with. As you get the ingredients to make your favorite pasta dish, you hear the door open.

“I beat you home today” you sing from the kitchen.

“I had some papers to grade and decided to follow your steps and not bring work home. I hated it. My bed is a much more comfortable grading spot” your roommate answers.

“Are you having dinner here?”

“Yes, give me a minute to shower and I’ll help you out”

But dinner was so easy to make that, by the time Camila was back, you’re already done. You put the creamy pasta on plates and take them to the living room, opening the Disney + app to find Yoongi’s documentary.

“I’ll only watch it with you because I’m a great friend” you hear your best friend say and you look at her with an amused smile, knowing well she wouldn’t watch anything she was not interested in.

And so you watch the documentary and see how this album started. You are washed with a sense of deja vu when you see a scene of 2020. Differently from the In The Soop cuts, this time, what you see is exactly like your first dream and you pay attention to all of the details to make sure you’re actually watching it. How could you forget your first dream with him? This time, thanks to the subtitles, you could actually understand what they were talking about and your heart skips a beat when Yoongi tells Jimin about the amygdala, explaining how this is a part of the brain that processes trauma, and telling his friend about the song. You vaguely remember thinking about how you wanted your brain to process your trauma better and wishing for it to just work right before dreaming of Yoongi for the first time. And as the performance of the song goes, you take in the lyrics.

It's no news that you identify yourself with BTS songs. But this one felt different. As he raps and unfolds each of his traumas you can't help but think about your own traumas and how you did that too three years ago.

You can feel Camila’s eyes on you. And you know she knows what you are feeling and she knows that you dreamed about this. You feel like you should comment on it, but saying it out loud sounds like madness, because this time, you actually know that it happened in real life too.

The movie continues with his trips and his writing process and you try to let your deep thoughts go to watch it properly. It is your first time listening to the songs of the new album, and you can see that all of the effort shown in the documentary was worth it, the songs and the performances were more than anything you were expecting and you couldn't wait for the tour.

"You and this guy are so similar." Camila says when the documentary is over.

"I guess I can relate to him a little bit" you say. "Now, I need to start practicing these songs for Wednesday"

"You cooked, I do the dishes" your roommate announces when you both stand up.

"I won't argue you with that"

You say goodnight before walking to your room, where you get your airpods and get ready to listen to the D-DAY album, in sequence, of course. With the lights out and cell phone in hand, you search for the translation of each song as you listen to them. You observe every figure of speech, every rhyme, all the story telling, and you repeat, inside your head, the scene from your dream, the one you just watched on the TV. How could someone on the other side of the planet think in the same frequency as you and describe your feelings so well? You didn’t want to get obsessed with the idea of it, because it gets crazier with time, but you can’t help but feel like, somehow, the universe brought you Min Yoongi because it knew you needed someone to relate to.

You listen to AMYGDALA once again, and another time, wishing you could take the pain away from someone that didn’t even know you, and with Yoongi’s voice singing in your ears, you fall into deep sleep.

🪷🪷🪷

When you gain consciousness again, it’s dark and pouring. You find yourself in front of a beautiful house that looks like it just came out of a movie set. Its light colored bricks (you couldn't possibly identify the color in the dark) were covered in vines, the only illumination surrounding you is the warm yellow light that comes through the windows.

You run to the porch to avoid getting even more wet. The hiss of the wind is loud and the cold early spring air embraces you as tiny droplets of water touch your skin, making you shiver uncomfortably.

You look at the imponent maroon door and entering the welcoming house sounds like the perfect plan right now. It’s obvious you are dreaming, there are no houses like this in New York City, so worst case scenario, it’s a nightmare and you’ll wake up regretting your decisions. This, or you’ll freeze to death and then wake up. Either way, you’ll end up in your tiny apartment anyway, might as well enjoy it while it lasts.

The door opens at the same time you raise your hand to give it a knock. You take a step back and take in the scene. Nobody is on the other side. Weird.

A mass of warm air touches your face gently when you step into the living room. The smell of coffee, cinnamon and vanilla flies around and makes you look straight to the kitchen and dining room to your left, but they are empty, so you walk to the fireplace in front of you, taking a moment to appreciate its coziness while getting warm.

You decide to walk around and explore the other levels of the building, which, from what you saw until now, has no furniture except for the old blue Victorian couch.

Holding the rail, you go up the stairs, and see that the walls are filled with beautiful, but empty frames. At this point, you don’t even bother finding it weird anymore, after all, it’s a dream, but you wonder why there are no pictures and why your mind decided that the only pieces of decoration you see in this house of stone are simply not serving their purpose.

As you walk down the aisle of the first floor, you see 4 doors. Slowly, you try to open the first one to your left, just to find out it is locked. You try the one to your right and the two other doors after that. All locked. You huff.

“Why is this too boring?” you say out loud, as you turn around and direct yourself to the stairs to go to the second floor, only to hear a muffled female voice upstairs. Curious as you are, you run up in the direction of the voice, just to find the same set up of the floor below you, with the exception of a pulled down ladder at the end of the corridor, that led to what you can only assume is an attic, where the sound and the voices come from.

You walk with caution to the ladder and the sound is louder, but not clearer. It takes climbing the steps to realize that the female voice that is now screaming, is actually your own. You stop midway, your upper body just past the attic door,and search for the source of your own voice, just to realize a video is being projected on one of the ceiling walls. You recognize the scene of that dreadful day so many years ago when you got home after an early dismissal day, just to find your ex boyfriend with your best friend. This time though, you could see it through a different point of view, the exact moment when you started packing your bags to leave your old apartment.

“Where do you think you are going? Hey! Stop! We can talk through this” your ex said, while dressing himself up. You hear your old self let out an ironic laugh after that. You look at her, the shorter curly hair was a mess, the red eyes burning with anger and disappointment.

“Talk through this?” Past you screams, opening another drawer and just throwing clothes in a suitcase. “You must think I’m really that stupid to give you the time of the day after this. I don’t want to hear from you, I don’t want to see you. I wanna pack my things and go to the farthest place from you”.

“_________, this is your home. Calm down.”

“My home? My home? You should’ve thought about that before cheating on me at my fucking home on my fucking bed. I’ll come back to get the rest of my things when you’re not here.” You close your suitcase, and direct yourself to the front door. You turned, just in time to catch a sight of him and your so-called best friend getting dressed as well. "Please, don’t even bother, just keep doing whatever you were doing before. I’ll make sure I won’t interrupt you ever again.” And you walked out.

The video stopped after that and you were stunned. Talk about a dramatic event. You don’t understand why your subconscious wants you to remember that, especially now that you are actually healing. Maybe this is in fact a nightmare, and you were supposed to keep rewatching that infernal scene until you wake up.

You decide to go up the rest of the steps either way, whatever comes next, can’t be more painful than what you just watched. As you step into the room at the same time someone stands up and comes in your direction.

“What the hell?!” You exclaim.

“Hm, this never happened before” The one and only Min Yoongi mumbles, staring at you.

Right, you have never had a conscious dream about him where you could actually talk to him. But, considering that his documentary was the last thing you saw, it seems like his presence in your dream this time is not that weird. You stare back at him, his dark messy hair, puffy cat eyes and black hoodie. Your heart jumps through your shirt and that unexplainable feeling comes again.

“Hi”

“Hi”

“Did you watch all of it?” You ask.

“I did. I’m sorry. I should’ve stopped when I saw what it was”

“I mean, it’s not actually your fault. It’s my subconscious.”

“Still…”

“It 's fine.” You look around, finding the film projector and another film reel on the side. “Interesting. What’s in the other film?”

“I don’t know. I only set the one we just watched.”

“We should watch the other one”

“I don’t know, I’ve already seen too much”

“It’s not like you are real”

“Not real?”

“Besides, I don’t think there was any other moment of my life more traumatic than that one. I’ll be fine” You say while taking the other film reel out of the projector and putting the new one. Yoongi doesn’t look too sure, but he directs himself to the pile of pillows on the floor and waits for the projection. As it starts, you sit by his side and focus on the wall in front of you.

It is a cloudy day and the dirty atmosphere of the city makes the scene look even grayer. You try to recognize the place, but it takes seeing a tall black haired boy to see that this wasn’t about you.

“I shouldn’t be seeing this” You say and make the mention of standing up before dream Yoongi holds your wrist gently and pulls you back.

“It’s only fair.” he says.

So you sit down and watch it with him.

A younger version of Min Yoongi leaves the door of a restaurant with bags of food on his hands, then proceeds to put the bags inside of a delivery box on a motorcycle. He wears his helmet, jumps on his bike and rides it around the city. He stops once. He stops another time. And you know what is coming, because you remember when Yoongi had the surgery, you remember seeing videos of him dancing in pain and you remember the lyrics of Amygdala, even if you only listened to that song a couple of times since the documentary release. You know the feeling of wanting your brain to erase the memories you so want to forget in order to move on. And even if it’s all in your head, it hurts to think of what happened to a human you love so much.

You stare at the dream version of Yoongi sitting by your side who has his glistening eyes fixed on the scene projected on the wall. With his lips closed in a line, he swallows thickly and you turn your attention to the movie again. And that’s when the scene unravels: The rain starts to pour and, as he is turning, a car hits young Min Yoongi, who falls on the road. You can’t help but feel your heart breaking into pieces as you watch the rain touching his face, it feels even worse when the scene is cut just to be substituted by flashes of Yoongi crying, in pain, and taking what seemed like an unhealthy amount of pills. If only you could change the past to comfort him. You’d do anything so he wouldn’t have to go through this kind of pain again.

“Was that what really happened?” You question, almost whispering.

“Exactly like that” the man by your side responds, then proceeds “What I saw... Did it really happen to you too?”

“Yes, but, for what is worth, you really helped me through it, it doesn’t hurt anymore” you look at the version of Min Yoongi in front of you, and think of everything you’ve learned about him through his songs and through the documentary of the day before. You are conscious this is not real, even if it feels like it, but you also know you will never have a chance to say to the real Yoongi what you wish to say, so you take a chance in this parallel dream reality, or whatever this is.

“ I know this is all in my head, and there are so many things I’d like to say, but, I just want you to know that if I could go back in time and help you through all of the pain you felt, I would. I know it doesn’t change it, but I really wish you’d know that. I wish I could’ve saved you, too, Yoongi” you stop and see the corner of his lips curve slightly. “I guess this was a weird thing to say out loud” cover your face with your two hands and a muffled groan leaves your lips.

“No, no, no… it’s not weird” He turns his body completely to you. “I don’t know if you’d believe me, or if anyone would believe me, but you did.”

“I did?!”

“You saved me in so many ways”

Your head turns in the direction of his voice immediately. And all you can see is a kind smile and bright eyes. You can’t help but feel that old familiar warmth all over your body, and as much as you wouldn’t like to indulge in delusion, at that moment, you pretended it was all real.

And just like it started, you’re pulled from deep inside your subconscious to you tiny apartment in New York City, where the ringing of your alarm clock announced the start of a new spring day.

To be continued…

Masterlist | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter (AO3)

[sentientgolfball]

Someone a few days ago asked me why I don’t correct people when they misgender me and I’ve been thinking it about it nonstop so im gonna put all my thoughts under the cut. This isn’t like a vent btw it’s more like a…collecting my thoughts all in one place

I am openly nonbinary in my daily life…for the most part. I’m out to all my friends, I have a little pronouns pin on my bag, my preferred name and pronouns are on my school ID and when asked i introduced myself with my pronouns

But I won’t correct people. I won’t tell people either unless we get closer or I’m asked. Because I’m afraid. It has nothing to do with where I’m at, actually the school I go to is literally the most progressive school in my state. I feel genuinely safe here.

It’s because of where I came from. The Midwest is already touch and go, but coming from a small town in the middle of a cornfield? Yea it wasn’t good. I used to have a little pride flag wallet on my keychain and then I got followed home by multiple trucks after making a quick stop at Walmart. I got a new wallet the next day. I was 17 when that happened. I was one of the quiet kids in school and I listened to everything around me. I heard a lot of things that made me feel unsafe. I remember one of my teachers had us debate the ethics of allowing trans people in sports and only 3 people argued for trans athletes myself included. It sucked.

But now I’m here. I’m on the opposite side of my state in this is very open and very supportive community. Granted all it takes is about a 10-15 minute drive to be back in that territory but for a majority of my time I’m in an environment where I’m not 1 of 5 trans kid but 1 of hundreds. I know I’m safe. I know I’m not the only trans person my professors or coworkers have met.

I am still afraid. I’m afraid I’ll lose my job. I know this isn’t true because one of my coworkers is an openly trans woman. I’m afraid I’ll be followed home again.

And then I’m asked “why don’t you correct people?” It was actually my coworker who asked me this. I’m not upset with her, I told her she could ask whatever she wanted and I was happy to answer for her. It’s just…put a lot of things into perspective I hadn’t really thought about.

This year specifically for some reason I've also been thinking a lot about my gender. Tried a few different pronouns, got my first binder, realized I get top surgery and start T one day. Yet that one question for just a moment made me question everything. Made me stop and go "am I really nonbinary because I don't correct people?"

And I thought to myself "no that's silly" because if one of my friends ever purposefully misgendered me for no reason other than to not out me I'd feel wrong. Itchy. Because for a brief moment I considered using he/they pronouns and it just felt so wrong to be he. I am not a he or a she, I am a me. And idk that was really weird for me because I've never had that moment before. Granted I was never really in the space to explore my identity before but now that I have steady meals and my own little space my brain has been able to ponder.

I've been thinking about legally changing my name, but once again I am afraid. Doing it when I turn 21 in November would be easiest because I have to renew my ID anyways, but that means looking my parents in the eye and explaining. That would mean telling all my old lady coworkers at home why. That would mean telling my boss here why. And that scares me so much. Because once I do they'll look at me differently. But it would make my life so easy to be able to change my name before I graduate. Because then I can go into my career field as Rain and not [redacted]. Granted as a teacher I'll just be referred to by my last name 90% of the time which tbh is somehow worse than redacted?? Explain that one to me.

Idk this is a very long ramble that pretty much sums up to be I am nonbinary and I love being nonbinary but man is the brain a funky place.

[hollywoodsargeant]

chapter 11 thoughts (amazing chapter as always) and damn is it a chapter (and my thoughts are long so as always sorry if it’s a pain to read)

first of all i love how even oscar’s coworker thinks that him and logan are in a relationship. ‘he’s just touchy’ i mean sure touchy is definitely when you have sex with your friend, make out with your friend and whatnot, that’s just him being ‘touchy’ obviously. if a coworker is saying that youre and you still arent convinced idk how oblivious you can be

and logan saying that the best parts of him are oscar, i mean yeah youve kissed youve fucked and youre both inseparable so that makes sense i guess but i love though that kyle is all so confused about this everytime logan is like ‘you know what i mean’ bc no logan i dont think kyle has a life long friend that hes done more than friend things with before

speaking of more than friend things, i still dont know how they can call themselves just friends when they’ve now both fingered each other and one has eaten the other out (first thing i thought of when i saw that scene was a similar scene in shark bait). i know i keep saying this but every chapter i always think ‘wtf do you mean that you’re just friends???’ and logan saying that he likes oscar whilst he’s naked is not helping my point

also i get logan’s entire college thing, moving away from everyone is so weird and especially when you know your best friend is going to be moving away from you. i wonder what will happen between the 2 of them and whats gonna happen after they go to college (unless somehow they magically cross paths in the same college or whatever)

anyways we need more of drunk logan thoughts bc i think it’s really interesting to see how he as a character thinks about things (just without a filter stopping him anymore) like just full on saying he cant get hard when he thinks about fucking oscar, no filter stopping him. i like hearing these thoughts just bc they’re so unfiltered

and kyle again… poor kyle i swear if i were him i would be scheming with callum to get logan and oscar together bc the man must have at least heard logan talk about oscar as if he’s his partner (no sorry i meant ‘friend’ obviously) like a million times

maybe kyle’s teasing might actually work idk (does it? perhaps it does, only you can tell us haha), and with that, that’s the end of my thoughts, sorry for it being so long and again thankyou for another great chapter!

HELLO. THANK YOU FOR YOUR THOUGHTS <3 never a pain to read i love and appreciate your thoughts very much me taking like 4 days to answer this ask is no reflection of my appreciation i just suck and am busy. Anyways

justice for oscar’s coworker tbh. she has been forced to witness their antics and then also put up with oscar’s insistence that they are Just Friends. at least she’s getting paid to be there…

logan literally does not know what he would do without oscar. i mean oscar doesn’t know what he would do without logan either but he isn’t really talking about it… but like. idk. just in life stuff like that is pretty wild to think about. like who would i be without this person in my life. logan thinks he would be Much Worse without oscar and does not understand why kyle doesn’t just Get exactly what he means like hello. logan. pretty sure You are kyle’s best friend and he is not gay for you. but i digress

THEY’RE JUST STUPID. aware of the fact that they do things “normal” friends don’t do but not aware of the fact that they’re just not friends. “it’s different with him” yeah because you are IN LOVE? whatever. my bad i did write it like that!

college will be fun. hehe. they’ll be fine… going to different colleges for the plot but it will be a spectacular time. they can keep arguing about who will drive to visit who until the end of the world probably. AND THEY WILL VISIT EACH OTHER! and i’m scheming.

DRUNK LOGAN WAS SO FUN TO WRITE. something something the first person he thought to call when he needed help was oscar. something something his angel. something something oscar being stupidly nice to him and why the fuck are you untying his shoes for him buddy stand up. Anyways. i agree more drunk logan i love him

i will disclose that kyle is a catalyst in thee ending of all time. i have it all planned out in my brain and not written down but shoutout kyle. he’s evil and i am evil and logan is fucking stupid

[casual-assassin17]

My Roommate is The Monkey King! Chapter One

(This is the first chapter of my latest story. I hope you all enjoy it! Also, I hope that I portrayed Sun Wukong as accurately as possible. Feel free to leave feedback and comments!)

I really hate my job. I’m sure everyone has said or thought that same sentence before. However, I really mean it. Retail work is never easy, especially with a customer that is upset about his new credit card not giving him his promised 20% off. I sighed softly as I look at the man. “Sir, normally you would’ve only saved about $200 with your bulk savings. But since you used the card, you saved an additional $121.96.”

“No, no. You said I would save big. I should be saving over $400! Are you calling me stupid?!” Clearly, he wasn’t being very cooperative. Sure, I probably could’ve explained the card better to him, but he’s now being unfair. I could feel my blood beginning to boil. 

‘I need to calm down… If I blow up on this guy, I’m gonna lose my job.’ I took a breath to calm down and tried again. “I understand, sir, However our cards have a certain limit to–”

He shoved his finger at my face. “Ah, so you messed up! You didn’t tell me that! If you had told me that, I wouldn’t have gotten that bullshit card!” My blood was really boiling now. I could feel my hands clenching tightly as I try to keep my temper under control. He kept rambling on but I tuned him out. I understood that this was a frustrating task for all of us, but he didn’t have to be a total jerk about it. I’m just trying to do my job and he’s throwing a temper tantrum about not saving $100 more. I just wanted to kick his carts of doors and painted planks over and make him pick it all up by himself. I wanted to beat him into the ground… But I’m a pushover and just let him rant. After all, “the customer is always right”... Bullshit.

After that fiasco, I began to get ready to clock out for the night. I was absolutely done with dealing with that guy and wanted to just go home and probably scream into my empty apartment. As I was grabbing my car keys, I heard the break room TV playing the news channel and I looked over at the screen. The newscaster talked about a strange weather pattern that was heading towards the city of Fairbanks and I tilted my head. Strange weather isn’t exactly new to us Alaskans. We get scorching heat in the summer months, 24/7 sunlight as well. In the winter, the weather makes it feel like we are living in Siberia, Russia and 2:00pm would look like 10 at night. Like I said, we’re used to it. However, the weather pattern on the screen told a different story. “Weird… I had no idea that Alaska would get a hurricane.” I whispered to myself.

“That’s not a hurricane, James.” A coworker told me, boredly scrolling through his phone. “If you ask me, that’s more like a storm cloud…”

I raised an eyebrow as I looked at him. ‘How did he hear me?’ “How is that a storm cloud?” I then shake my head, already feeling exhaustion taking hold of me. “Forget it… I am too tired to argue.”

“Was it that bad?”

“Worse… Some Russian guy was arguing with me about his new credit card…”

He chuckled at that. “Yeah… We humans are a greedy bunch.” He then got up and stretched. “Man, I’m beat… I’m gonna head to McDonald’s before I head home. Good thing they don’t close until midnight… You wanna come with?”

The offer was very tempting and my stomach agreed. “As much as I wanna say ‘yes’, I can’t. I gotta get home and do some stuff. Maybe next time, Mac.”

Mac nodded with a shrug. “Your loss, but I get it. Take care, James…” He then walked away, his long black hair trailing behind him. I chuckled softly before following suit, clocking out and heading to my car. As I walked to my car, I put on my noise-cancelling headphones, turned them on, connected them to my phone, and began to listen to AI covers of popular songs. I had to admit that some of them were really good. Who knew that Sonic could sing “Billie Jean” so well? I got into my car, started it, buckled up, then began the drive home. My stomach growled at me and I sighed softly. ‘Damn it, Mac. You made me hungry…’ I pull into the nearest fast food restaurant, which happened to be McDonald’s, and ordered some food. The smell of the golden arches’ famous fries filled the car and I could feel my stomach growling more. I reached over to grab some fries from the bag, but stopped. “...I can wait until I get home.” I hated waiting to eat, but I also didn’t want to get into a car accident for a handful of fries.

Suddenly, I hear thunder and I look at the road ahead of me. “Looks like Mac was right, as always… I swear, he just knows everything.” I continue to drive, noting the color of the occasional lightning. I was confused as to why they were yellow-orange instead of the usual color. I am snapped out of my thoughts by my phone ringing and I knew it was my twin sister. I answer her call. “Hey, sis. I clocked out already and I’m heading home.”

“Okay, but just be safe. The storm looks like it’s getting worse and I worry about you.” She told me. I loved how caring she was and it made me feel a tad better. “Also, I have some leftover baked goods from the cafe. We had to get rid of them before they got stale, so I took a few.”

I smiled at that and chuckled. “Thanks, Melody… You’re the best.” I look out my window and saw a lightning bolt hit near the car. The sudden lightning startled me and caused me to swerve off the road, crashing through a metal fence and into a clearing. The car made sputtering sounds before it turned itself off. I tried to restart it, but the car was officially dead. My heart was beating rapidly from the lightning jumpscare and I took deep breaths to try and relax. “H-holy crap… I almost got struck by lightning!”

Melody was still on the call. “Oh my God, are you okay?!”

I nodded as I relaxed finally. “Yeah… Yeah, I’m good. The car is dead, though…”

“Where are you at? I’ll head over as soon as I can.” 

I looked around to see anything noticeable. “I’m near Celebration Ranch, about five or ten minutes away from the house.”

Melody sighed through the phone. “I know where that is. Stay there and I’ll come get you.” She then hung up and I pocketed my phone. I sat on the hood of the car and huffed softly, a bit miffed that I got into an accident. The only plus side to my situation currently was that I was still alive. As I waited for Melody, the thunder grew louder and closer. I looked at the sky and saw that the storm was right above me. My eyes widened and I went to get into the car, but a massive lightning bolt struck the car and I was blown back, electricity coursing through my body. I hit the grass-covered ground and my vision went black for a second. It’s one thing to hear about people getting struck by lightning… but it’s another thing to actually get struck by lightning. My vision was blurry, I couldn’t hear anything but the sound of my ears ringing, it was hard to breathe all of a sudden, and my body felt like I got hit with a flamethrower. I soon regained my sight and hearing and slowly stood up, coughing and wheezing as my breathing was still jacked up. I look over at the car and all that was left of it was a massive crater. 

‘So much for calling a tow truck…’ I went to check to see if my phone was alright, when I noticed… light. It was coming from the crater. I walked towards the edge of the crater, holding my burnt side with whatever was left of my tattered shirt. When I looked over the edge, I saw… some kind of monkey man. He wore some weird armor and had a quarterstaff in his hand. I slid down towards the man and went to nudge him with my foot. “Hello? Can you hear me?” No response… I went to pick up his staff only to realize that it somehow weighed a lot more than I thought. I couldn’t even lift it! “Jesus!! What kind of staff is this?!” I looked back at the man and frowned. ‘...What do I do now? I can’t just leave him here… Wait, yes I can! I don’t know him, so why should I even bother?’ I went to leave… but I stopped and looked back at him. I groaned in annoyance. “Curse my altruism…” I walked back to him, knelt at his side and pressed my hands over his chest before starting to perform CPR. “C’mon… C’mon, wake up!” I went to breathe air into his mouth but saw his eyes pop open and we both scrambled back with a yell.

He stood up and pointed the staff at me. “Hey!! What were you trying to do to me?!”

I was surprised at how easily he wielded the staff, but I ignored it for now. “Me?! What were you doing a crater?! I had to resusitate you because I thought you were dead!!”

To my surprise, he only laughed at that. “Me? Dead? You are too funny, human! I can’t die because I am immortal!” He then planted the staff into the ground, jumped onto the top of it, then began to examine his surroundings. “Hmm… This isn’t Fruit Flower Mountain, nor is it Heaven…” He scratched his head in true monkey fashion before pointing at me. “You! What realm is this?!”

I blinked in surprise. “Realm? Wait, wait, wait… Did you say ‘Heaven’?! You’re not an angel nor are you Jesus!”

The man raised an eyebrow at me. “What? Do you have any idea who I am? I mean, really think about it…” He then jumped down and gave me a smirk. “I’m sure it’ll click…”

I began to think, forgetting about my pain from the lightning. “...A cosplayer?”

The man’s face practically dropped before he huffed. “You really don’t know?! I am The Great Sage Equal To Heaven! Vanquisher of Demons! I am… The Monkey King! Sun Wukong!!” He pointed at himself, staring at me as if expecting something.

A few seconds have passed before I spoke again. “...Cool.”

His eyes widened. “What?! That’s all you have to say about that?! ‘Cool’?! I am more than just ‘cool’!! I am–”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah… Anyway, if you’re some celestial being or whatever, why are you here?” I asked him.

Wukong chuckled as he leaned against his planted staff. “Well, if you must know, I was just doing my usual duties of being Monkey King. Defending Fruit Flower Mountain, killing demons, having fun…” He then frowned as he used a finger to dig into his ear. “But then, I get summoned to Heaven and Ne Zha was there, as usual. We got into an argument, not my fault by the way, and one thing led to another. Next thing I know, I am being banished to this realm by the Jade Emperor! Everything I have done for the Gods and the Buddha, yet all I get is banished…”

I gave him an unimpressed look. “Based on your behavior, I can see why they banished you.” Apparently, that was not the right choice of words as that only seemed to piss him off. He let out a screech and jumped at me, causing me to yelp in surprise. We then began to wrestle in the crater. Now, I would lie and say that I was totally winning the impromptu fight… but let’s be real, I am not some pro fighter nor have I ever been in an actual fight before. Wukong absolutely destroyed me, ending with him standing on top of me while I laid on the dirt. I groaned in pain and coughed. “...Okay, lesson learned: Do not piss off the monkey…”

Wukong nodded with a puff of his chest. “That’s right! I am The Monkey King! I have never been bested by any demon nor mortal! You can’t even possibly–” I then hear the sound of some kind of aerosol and Wukong screaming and yelling in pain. His weight disappeared from my back and I look to see him clutching his face and writhing on the ground. Melody stood over him in her cafe uniform, holding a can of pepper spray. 

She helped me to my feet. “Are you okay? Who is that?”

I cough a bit and dust myself off. “Apparently, that is Sun Wukong… He got banished here, and he totally mopped the floor with me.”

Melody nodded and helped me to her car, then went back and was dragging Sun Wukong into the car. He was still writhing in pain, cussing us out, and practically promised to kill us when he could see again. I kinda felt bad but shrugged it off as Melody drove us back home. I'm sure he'll be fine... Probably.

[workingfromjapanandchina]

Day 12:

The final full day in China, and also it was out team building event day.

Today was just entirely fun. No real work, just teambuilding and having fun with our local team here in China. Our local team is super nice and hospital people it’s crazy how nice they are. I hope I’m able to treat them as well. next time they come to the US.

This morning, I think I gave myself four minutes to eat breakfast, which was not enough, but I was able to scarf down a bunch of food with only being two minutes late. Our coworker came in and met us in the lobby of our hotel and out to the first stop of out day.

I’m pretty sure that I woke up this morning around 5 AM and I went to bed around 1 AM so I didn’t get much sleep. This made the day feel pretty rough.

The first stop for our day was to do an escape room. My brain was pretty wrecked, so I wasn’t sure how good this was going to be for me. Overall, the game was not super fun because the challenges were so extremely hard to follow or figure out. It was a more complex one, but the stuff that they had is do just make any sense sometimes. We had to ask for a lot of hints to get through it. It was also pretty hot and some of the rooms which made it even worse for me. So being tired made me only want to get it over with quicker, so I did try a bit to figure things out faster.

After we finally made it through all of the challenges with tons of hints, we went to a coffee shop before a pick us up. I had a café latte with ice because I felt like I was gonna be dragging for the rest of the day without it. The coffee shop we went to was involved to look just like one from the United States, which was kind of funny.

After that, we were all pretty hungry since we were in the escape room for like two hours and now it was 1 PM. We still had like three hours or four hours until our cooking class. So we went and got some dim sum for lunch. The place that we went to was actually really good, I really liked a few of the items that they had. One of the favorite things I had was definitely the Citrus lemonade thing they made. I like it so much. I bought a second one.

After eating, we still had a bunch of times so we decided to go to the Beijing zoo to go see some pandas. I’ve never seen a panda before so it sounds like a good idea. Of course I’m pretty sure. I sound like a broken record now, but again, I was crazy, hot outside and sweating instantly as soon as we were outdoors in the sun. Once we got to the zoo, the lines were super long and people were packed in there. That made it feel even hotter.

One weird thing that happened though was these two girls who were pretty young were just staring at me, for a good five minutes. I would look away and then look back and they were still staring at me. I didn’t know what was up or why they were staring, it was pretty weird. I thought it first maybe was because they never seen my color eyes before. But then later on I realize it was because they have never seen a foreigner before.

We finally got to see the pandas who were pretty much just being big lazy round bears that were chilling. It was pretty cool though to see them, even if they were in cages. They seem pretty dumb, so maybe they don’t even mind being trapped inside of a zoo. It did look like they had a bunch of things to keep them occupied and stimulated so that was good. Normally, I have no interest in going to zoos because they are basically animal jails.

I ended up having two different types of panda shaped ice cream. They were both pretty good though, especially because of the heat. There was another panda that we could’ve seen that is more famous. He got a bunch of notoriety because I guess he has figured out how to escape a few times.

After seeing the pandas, we went out front of the zoo to wait for our rideshare. Since my coworkers chose the more cheaper option, the cars took about 15 minutes to get to us. I’ve noticed that if you choose the most expensive one, they show up within a few minutes or less.

I was sitting down for a moment on a little curb and a bunch of people were around us. These two little boys were probably six years old or so we’re both staring at me and pointing and saying something, they mom was kind of panicking and freaking out that they were doing this and told them to stop. I found out that they were saying foreigner. I’m guessing that these kids had never seen an American before in their lives. I smiled at them and waved and it was pretty funny but the kids said hello to me. It seemed like he wanted to practice his English. They just kept staring, and I kept smiling and waving and saying hello to be friendly. The kids finally had to go and one of them said goodbye, which was funny to hear him say. Maybe these kids will grow up and have a good impression of America based on this interaction. it’s kind of funny, but I think the kids were more open to interacting with me because I was crouching down as short compared to when I stand up.

After seeing the pandas, we went over to the cooking class. In the class we made some traditional Chinese dishes pretty much from scratch. The lady was very knowledgeable and taught us things that I had never done before, like using a meat cleaver safely. The knife was actually pretty heavy, which was surprising. I got to do quite a bit of the work, which was good because it helped me learn more. However, the recipe for the chicken had so much stuff that we had to do and so many ingredients that it would be tough to figure out how to do it on our own later on. But she did give us the recipe so I definitely want to try to do it on my own. We made few types of vegetables, including eggplants, gai lan (which is a leafy vegetable with stocks), bell pepper, and a bunch of other stuff. It was pretty fun to use a real walk on a proper large burner. I got tired of using the spatula to flip the food over so I just started to use my arm to lift the walk and flip the food. I did pretty well without dropping much of the food, but every time I would do it Lady would get scared. I guess it’s not normal to the big walk like I was because it weighs so much and it is pretty big.

I definitely learned a lot from the class, which was great, I always enjoy these classes for sure. The place at the school that was kind of a pretty cool old and remodeled traditional home.

I definitely want to try to figure out how to make the chicken again.

After cooking and eating way too much food, we decided to go for a walk along a street and to go to a tourist street where there’s a bunch of shops to see them. That was pretty cool just to see lots of nightlife and people everywhere. Once you finished that street, we went out and got a rideshare back to the hotel. as soon as I got back, I took a shower and brush my teeth. I feel so much better now. This trip has definitely taught me how much I need to appreciate my local California weather. Not having humidity is amazing, I could not do it haha.

I’ve been working on a real estate deal tonight instead of sleeping. However, part of me is wondering if I should just stay awake all night so that I can flip back to the US time zone easier, but I’m just exhausted right now. I don’t know how much later I can stay up!

Tomorrow I fly back to the states, this trip has flown by as they always do. It’s been a great time for sure, I definitely feel more comfortable being in China this time than the last time. I guess seeing how things work and knowing what you can and can’t do makes it easier. It also doesn’t help that our gov talks poorly about it so much all the time.

[cantbelieveyouregone]

My brain has been whirling with vague self-reflective stuff for the past like three days - partially because it's the end of the year, partially brought on by reading a bunch of Danganronpa and The Sexy Brutale fanfic for some reason (that is, it making me think for some reason, not me reading it for some reason; I'm not ashamed of that). Don't really have anywhere to put the thoughts, but they won't shut up, so I'm putting them here.

It's been a weird year. It's been one year that's felt like three. Partially that's because it was my last year of uni, which was a bit of a shitshow at various points. Spent a good deal of this academic year recovering from nearly burning out just to survive third year, after top surgery stitching came partially out on one side of my chest but I still had to do all my uni work. I don't recommend doing four university modules and a part-time teaching assistant job at once while you have a literal hole in your chest, folks. And then my honours project was full force from the get-go, brought on by me being a perfectionist and feeling an obligation to prove to the uni and to myself that I wasn't burnt out. By the end of uni, I was basically just a pile of ashes atop an 18k-word dissertation.

Then I dealt with the wildest shit of trying to get an industry job. Recruiters tried their best, but they all just kind of tugged their collars and averted their eyes when I said I'd prefer to stay local or work remote. But one of my friends already got a job at a game company and had been there part-time, going full-time once uni was over, and he knew I was looking, so he referred me. Long-story-short, I got the job - getting the call about it on my birthday, no less - and moved out of my parents' place and into a flat with said friend.

If my impostor syndrome was strong before I had a job, it's only gotten worse since I started working. I've described it as feeling like I'm just learning the alphabet while my coworkers discover new areas of calculus. "Gotten really into the letter X lately, you should try it sometime." It's just not even felt real, like I'm gonna wake up and be collapsed on my computer desk with my dissertation filled with spaces from where my head found itself falling on the keyboard.

I have not figured out how to balance work and life yet. Not by a long shot. I want to take up both physical and creative hobbies, but I'm also someone who needs a lot of down time or his brain holds itself at gunpoint, ready to explode. As I once wrote in a rambling note to myself, "I want to scream and cry and paint and write and fight and punch and create art from the bones of my own that I break let the blood be the ink so you know that I feel." I have so much love in my heart for the things I do, but fuck if I ever have the energy to do them. Maybe I'll get better at figuring it out next year, but I'm sure not there yet.

There isn't any real satisfying conclusion to this rant. I've not written songs or stories in who knows how long, I want to pick up a pencil or a paintbrush again, I want to create and feel the release of pressure from my skull before it implodes. But I'm not really willing to talk to many people in real life about this endless irritation, like an itch which has proven impossible to scratch. Asking for advice requires asking, and there's still a lot of my teenage instinct to hide any sign of suffering - no matter how little or how mundane - until I physically can't anymore. Which I guess goes to show how it's going when I'm writing this, huh?

I guess I'll just finish the rant with yet another clip of writing from a ramble in my phone's notes, which I wrote over two years ago but has kept ringing in my ears every day since.

Inertia is my nemesis. If I could get started, I could keep started, I could get going, I could keep going.

Here I lie.

To myself? Or did I just stop moving?

[oetscop]

so i didnt post abt it when it happened bc i just felt like dumb and complainy (which i am! but moreso than usual) but like. coworker is making me uncomfy as fuck and im just gonna call him s. hes the older trans man i mentioned.

hes like...REALLY condescending? like he talks to me like im a kid. and he always says like "i have kids your age everyones a kid to me haha" as if my moms bf doesnt have a 25 year old daughter like...that doesnt have Shit to do with it. first thing he said to me he was like giving me tips about binding???? like. brother i have been out of the closet for over a decade now lmao

hes well aware im not a binary man, but will still get weird about customers "misgendering" me as if i dont go by any pronouns. if i really cared about how strangers refer to me i wouldnt have this haircut or dress the way i dress. like when we had that dipshit losing it over us not being able to do a propane exchange (and he stole shit) s will KEEP BRINGING UP THE FACT THEY KEPT CALLING ME SHE. AT LEAST TWICE A WEEK.

stranger yet last week this couple was like arguing in the lane across from me and i was like. listening in like what else am i gonna do when we closed and im waiting for someone to take my till. they were talking abt how dumb NH is with food stamps (rightfully so its a nightmare) and were bitching about moving back to NY. next day s tries to convince me they were saying that because they saw my they/them pin like. what 💀

anyway. hes been very annoyingly touchy lately. i found out last night that im not the only one! and he got im trouble for it! but he WONT STOP!!! i hate being touched by anyone who isnt like. my dad or violet. and he was talking abt my van gogh sweater. and he thought some anime character was on the sleeve (its like. paintings lmao) AND TOUCHED MT SLEEVE BOTH TIMES HE BROUGHT IT UP. worse yet, he was getting an energy drink right before close. larry brought up that yknow. hes drinking nos at 11pm. and his response was "i dont normally but im planning on" and then like. pelvic thrusted. like my other coworker and i were disgusted and nobody else gave a fuck???

he keeps joking about how hes not allowed to "be friendly" with most of us anymore. like yeah i fucking wonder why its almost like youre being a creep or sumn

[sailorsol]

No but okay, in one of the EU storylines, it was revealed that TK-421, the one whose armor Luke stole, was in a relationship with Tarkin. So please just imagine, your boyfriend is The Big Boss of Everyone, and you're tasked with checking out a supposedly empty ship. You just saw an entire planet get blown up and there's a creepy wheezy space wizard on board interrogating a princess so things have been weird AF, sure, but you're pretty content with your lot in life. There are perks to being the boss's boyfriend--you don't get put on sanitation duty, for one thing (and there is definitely something living in the trash compactors), and as a lowly TK you don't have to worry about things like getting choked during staff meetings (what you do in your spare time is a different matter).

So you go into this supposedly empty ship and get knocked out by a wookie. That's gonna leave a bruise or two and a nice big concussion, so you probably don't wake up for a while, and when you do you're in a smuggler's hold with your coworker whose face you may have never actually seen. Your first thought is probably something along the lines of "well shit, I'm in trouble, and I don't think even my boyfriend will be willing to get me out of this one." So maybe you don't kick up a fuss for a bit, but you really need to pee and you missed lunch, so you start making noise in the hopes someone will find you.

The people who finally open the hatch are not Imperials.

You've never actually seen a Rebel up close before (unless the princess counts, but that's just rumor), but last you checked, the Empire didn't employ wookies.

Double shit.

It's not like you speak Shyriiwook, but you can be pretty sure the wookie is saying something along the lines of "who the hell are you and what are you doing in my smuggling hold?" Which seems a little unfair, since he's probably the one who put you there in the first place. But the wookie hauls you and your pal out of the hold and marches you out into what you can only presume is the Rebel Base. Now, if you could figure out where the hell you are and then escape and make it back to the Death Star, you might even get a commendation and people will forget the whole "knocked out and stuffed in a hold" bit.

The Rebels all mostly seem confused by your presence, but they question you a bit. It's not like there's much you can tell them--at least, not about what they're asking, which has to do a lot with the technical details of the Death Star and fleet movements and whatnot, but you and Wilhuff have a strict No Work in the Bedroom policy. Finally they shove you and your buddy (Steve? He looks like a Steve) into what was probably once a storage closet because alarms have started blaring.

It quickly becomes apparent that the Death Star has found this place, and is in orbit, and may in fact be preparing to blow it up, which is frankly, less than ideal when you're still stuck here, and it's not like Wilhuff knows you're down here, so it's not like you can blame him or anything. So you sit and wait and wonder if you'll get any warning before being vaporized. And you wait. And you wait some more.

Until finally some Rebel comes and drags you back out and you find out that the Death Star didn't in fact manage to blow up the Rebel scum, but worse--the Rebel scum somehow managed to blow up the Death Star. And this is how you find out that your boyfriend is dead, your workplace is gone, and Steve is readily agreeing to join the Rebellion if it means they won't vaporize him too.

Taungsdays really are the worst.

Okay but when Luke and Han knock out those stormtroopers and pull them into the Millennium Falcon to hide their bodies.... when do they remove those bodies? Or do they just have like... two stormtroopers in Han's smuggling hold until they get to Yavin IV and they're like, well shit.

[cjsinkythoughts]

In Need of a Breath

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Word Count: 4007

Warnings: !FATWS SPOILERS!, Cursing, Zemo, Feelings, Another PTSD Flashback

A/N: So…Part 4 is going to have a couple parts to it. Maybe even three. I didn’t even make it half way through the episode on this one, mainly because I really wanted to fit in the Reader’s backstory and I wanted her and Sam to have a heart-to-heart again. I’m suuuuper tired, so I probably won’t be posting the next part for another few hours (it’s 5 am right now and I haven’t slept), BUT it’s my day off work and I won’t be doing anything I planned because my grandmother had a stroke a couple days ago so plans have changed and I’m staying in to help her, meaning I’ll mostly be writing all day. 

This Part is kind of a mix between off-screen and shot-by-shots, but it’s mostly off screen/what’s going on inside Reader’s head.

I’m really excited about future parts and the characters that are being introduced! I will say that after these parts, I will be doing one shots of previous MCU movies with the Reader, due to the information that is being given about the Reader now. You kind of see more of how she was affected/how she affected the previous MCU movies and what she was doing during that time.

Like always, this hasn’t been beta’d, again it’s SUPER early in the morning, and I’m really tired, so please excuse any mistakes! I hope you guys enjoy this part! Stay tuned for more to come later today!

FATWS MASTERLIST

cjsinkythoughts MASTERLIST

!SPOILERS UNDER CUT!

“You know…I’m really starting to regret saying yes to this.” You huffed out, craning your neck and squinting your eyes against the sun as you stare at the facility in front of you, hating the skin-crawling feeling of being back.

“Would you relax? Whenever you’re nervous, I get nervous, and I don’t wanna be nervous about this.” Sam shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

“Do either of you have a better plan?” Bucky grumbled, crossing his arms.

Gnawing on your lips, you finally take the lead and breathe out, “alright. Let’s go then.” You could feel the hesitance from your - what were they? Partners? Coworkers? Teammates? - the fellas before they started after you.

There was a sick twist in your gut as you entered the building, going through the lobby and security.

You had been there.

You had been there when Zemo impersonated Bucky. You had been there when Zemo unleashed the Winter Soldier at the Joint Counter Terrorist Centre Building in Berlin. You had been there during the battle at the airport. You had been there when Zemo turned Tony and Steve against each other in Siberia. You had been there when Zemo tore the Avengers from the inside out. Your family. The only family you’d ever known.

But you’d always been good about pushing your personal feelings aside for the sake of the mission. It’s what you’d been born to do. All you ever knew.

“Hey. Doll. You hear me?”

“Hmm. What?” You looked up from the ground to look into those enchanting blue oceans Bucky had for eyes, staring worriedly down at you, eyebrows pinched and forehead creased.

“I’m going in alone.” You frowned, opening your mouth to argue, but he shook his head. “Sam already agreed-”

“I didn’t necessarily agree-”

“You’re an Avenger, sweetheart.” Bucky tilted his head, speaking softly, those eyes of his worried. Worried for you. It made your stomach flip. “And you were there in Siberia, and that almost makes it worse. Especially considering you went after him. Just…just let me do this, okay?”

You cracked your knuckles nervously as you thought. It was a terrible idea. But it was an idea. And it was all they had. “Okay.” You finally relented, shrugging as your hands hit your thighs and slid up to your hips. “But don’t do anything stupid.”

“Steve took all that with him.”

Knowing about their little inside joke, you scoffed. “Sure he did. Go before I change my mind.”

You watched him walk down the hallway, hands fidgeting with excess nerves. “I think you’re the only one he actually seeks approval from.”

“Good thing I’m so lenient then, huh?” You joked, turning to Sam with a strained smile. Your smile slipped at the curious expression on Sam’s face, his eyes darting to each of your features. “What?”

“Are you doing okay?”

You groaned, throwing your head back. You thought you got out of talking about your feelings back in Baltimore. “Oh my God, Sam-”

“I’m serious. You…you just don’t seem like yourself.”

You shook your head, looking down the hall to where Bucky disappeared before turning back to him. It was weird to have a self that people recognized. Your whole life you’d been searching for it and when you finally found it…everything went to shit. “Honestly, Sammy, the only time I’ve ever felt like myself was with the team. Zemo took that away from me and now we’re here, practically begging him for help.”

Sam hummed, leaning against the wall. “Have you thought of taking a break?”

“What?”

“A break.” At your bewildered look, he rolled his eyes. “Cher, this time last year most of us were dead. This time a few months ago you found out about Wanda. This time last week you were out looking for her. Maybe you should just stop and take a breather.”

Shoving your hands in your pocket and looking at the floor, you couldn’t help but snort at his advice. “I haven’t taken a breather since I was eighteen.”

He clicked his tongue. “That’s my point. FBI academy as soon as you graduated. SHIELD recruit by 21, undercover operations leader by 24? Slow down. You’re in your thirties. Next thing you know, you’re gonna be ninety something, lying on your deathbed, wishing you had stopped to smell the roses.”

“If I live to be ninety, shoot me.” He chuckled in amusement. “I’m so fucking serious, Sam. I will not be put in an old folks home to play Bingo and be pushed around in a wheelchair. It ain’t happening.”

“I’ll see what I can do.” There was that infectious smile, which you unconsciously grinned back at. “Y/N…I’m serious. You’ve been in and out of missions since you were a teenager. What’s the shortest undercover operation you’ve done?”

“I dunno.”

He gave you an unimpressed look. “Yeah you do.”

Licking your lips, you turned away and shrugged. “A couple months. Seven weeks and three days, to be precise. September to October in 2012.”

“And the longest?”

“August 2007 to May 2009. Twenty one months.” 

Letting out a puff of air through his nose, Sam pushed himself off the wall and caught your chin between his fingers to make you look at him. “That’s nearly two years under cover. And I’m sure you went right back under after-”

“I was sitting at a desk for four months doing paperwork on it.” You defended yourself.

He shook his head, brows knitting together, lips drawn down. “You say that as if four months is enough time.”

“It doesn’t matter anymore, Sammy. I’m out. I’ve been out since Ultron and Sokovia. I haven’t been under in almost a decade-”

“A decade half the world was dead for half of-”

“I wasn’t!”

“I never said you were.” Sam sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. You were always amazed at his ability to keep his emotions in check. To stay cool under pressure. Sometimes you forgot how experienced he was with dealing with other people’s trauma. It was no wonder why Steve thought he’d be good for Bucky. “Listen. All I’m saying is once this is done…don’t go diving back into searching for Wanda. Don’t go running to the kid every time he calls - and I know you’ve been doing that-”

“It’s just been homework and stuff-”

“Y/N.” You stopped, biting your lip at the stern look he gave you. “Go home. Order take out. Binge watch TV. Go for a jog through the park. Actually meet your neighbors. Go grocery shopping. Just…live. If only for a couple weeks. Don’t worry about anyone else. Don’t pick up the phone, don’t drop everything because someone needs you. You need you.”

“I-I…” You shook your head, looking at him, sincerely apologetic. “I can’t. I wish I could. But I can’t. I’ve never had one normal day in my life. I’ve never had someone to care for, never had someone to care for me. I can’t let people I’ve come to…I can’t let them think I don’t care. I don’t even know where I’d go.”

“Whaddya mean?”

You winced, not thrilled for his reaction to your next statement. “I, uh, I sold my apartment in D.C.”

He gaped at you in complete disbelief. “You got it in December!”

“I know, I know. I liked it. I really did, but…I dunno. Nomadic life has always suited me better. It’s what I grew up with.”

He took a breath, making you cringe again. You don’t think you’ve ever legitimately gotten on his nerves like this before. “Have you ever thought that, instead of going with the flow and jumping place to place, putting down roots might actually help?” He cut you off before you could say anything, holding up a finger to stop you from talking. “I can’t imagine going from foster home to foster home like you did. I can’t imagine not having a home for as long as you can remember. Louisiana’s my home. Always has, always will be. But I understand your life has been anything but stable. And maybe, just maybe, that’s why you need some stability.”

You clenched your jaw, crossing your arms. “The Avengers were my stability. Steve was my stability.”

“Because you loved him.”

“I’m not doing this with you again.” You turned to walk down to the lobby to wait for Bucky there, but Sam caught your arm.

“You were in love with him! It’s okay! You two were super close! No one would blame you! Why won’t you just admit it? I’m trying to understand! Why won’t you-”

You tugged your arm away, finally snapping at him. “Because he could never be mine, Wilson! Is that what you wanna hear?!” Sam took a step back at your exclamation. You closed your eyes, swallowing the lump in your throat and pushing down the tears. “He could preach all he wanted about moving forwards, Sammy, but we all knew he was stuck in the past. He visited the museum every Thursday because her interview showed in his exhibit on Thursdays. He carried around that broken compass because her picture was in it.” You looked back up at him sadly, shrugging. “And I get it; it’s hard to move past your first love. I get it because…that’s what he was to me.”

There was a silence that blanketed the hallway, before he spoke up hesitantly. “What about Bucky?”

“I thought - I thought I was projecting my feelings for Steve onto him because I knew Steve couldn’t ever…”

Sam raised an eyebrow. “You thought? What do you think now?”

You cleared your throat. “I’m still figuring that one out.”

“If you ever need to talk, I’ll be here.”

You chuckled, nodding slightly towards him. “Back atcha. Don’t think I haven’t noticed you not being yourself lately, either.”

“It’s…a tough topic.”

You nodded in understanding. “Just know that I’ll support every decision you make as long as you think it’s the right one. Because I trust you. Steve trusted you. It’s all we can do to try to do what’s right. That’s what makes you a good man, Sammy. He gave you that shield for a reason, and if you think what you did was right…I’ll stand by it.”

The two of you stared at each other for a moment, calming down in each other’s presences and taking comfort knowing you’d be there for each other through thick and thin. “Thank you, cher.”

“Of course, Sammy. Now let’s go see what’s taking the old grump so long.”

He laughed at that, nodding in agreement, taking your offered hand and squeezing it as you made your way down the hall.

****************

“What?”

Bucky eyed you as you spluttered, coughing on the water you were drinking. “Please don’t choke, doll.”

“Break him out of jail?!” You repeated his words and blinked at him, absolutely baffled by his plan. “Oh my God.” You groaned as Bucky and Sam started arguing, moving your flashlight around the room. “Where the hell are we?” There was no response as they kept going back and forth.

“Zemo’s gonna mess with our minds! Especially yours! No offense.”

“Heelllloooo!” You tried again. “Where the hell are we?!”

Bucky turned on the lights, giving Sam a look. “Offense.” Glancing at you he quirked an eyebrow. “Stop worrying your pretty lil’ head, sweetheart. You trust me, dontcha?” Your breath hitched at his words. You quickly recovered, huffing and pouting - although you’d deny ever pouting - and crossing your arms. You stood between the guys like that, eyes darting to whoever was speaking, waiting for them to stop so you could actually think.

“Look. Let me just walk you through a hypothetical. Can I walk you through a hypothetical?”

You and Sam exchanged glances. “What did you do?”

“I…didn’t do…anything.” Bucky shrugged.

“How is it that you, one of the most deadliest assassins basically ever, are one of the worst liars I know.” You tilted your head at him, an eyebrow quirking up in confusion.

“Shush it you. Just, okay. The weakest point in any system isn’t the software, the hardware, it’s the meatware. The human element.”

The more you listened to Bucky’s “hypothetical”, the stronger the gut feeling telling you this was a terrible terrible idea got. You brought your hands up to your head, eyes wide as he spoke.

“I don’t like how casual you’re bein’ about this. This is unnatural.”

You couldn’t help but agree with Sam’s words, your head falling back and your eyes closing. “Sweet Jesus. Listen, God, I know we don’t talk much these days, but please, please don’t let this not be a hypothetical. I’m fucking begging you.”

A noise to your right made your head snap over. “Oh hell to the fucking no!” You shook your head as Zemo himself walked in, wearing a prison guards uniform. “Uh-uh! No way! Bucky, this was not part of the plan!”

“What did you do?!”

“We need him!”

“You’re going back to prison.”

“If I may-”

All three of you faced him, simultaneously shouting, “no!”

You held your face in your hands as your head dropped, shaking back and forth, your eyes squeezing shut, tuning them out for just a minute to think. Bucky had a point. The enemy of my enemy is my friend and all that, and the Avengers were technically disbanded, which was Zemo’s whole objective in the first place, but…God. You were good at compartmentalizing, but not that much. You were willing to put your feelings aside for the mission so Bucky could talk to him. Not for you to work with him. But he had connections, you knew he did, and he had information…

“Doll?” You looked up, Bucky anxiously licking his lips as he met your gaze. “I need you to say something.”

You looked to Sam, who shrugged, gesturing to Zemo. “What do you think?”

What did you think? What did you think?! You thought that it was the worst idea in the history of ideas and you should turn back and find another way! But…you knew this was the fastest, probably most reliable way to get information that you needed.

Dammit, since when were you the deciding factor?

You sucked in a breath, looking over Sam’s shoulder at Zemo, who lifted his hand in greeting. You raised your eyes to the ceiling, pointing your finger accusingly. “This is why we stopped talking.” Gaze dropping to the still waiting fellas, you gnawed on your lip, before hissing out, “ffffine…” Running a hand through your hair, you threw your hands up as you shrugged. “Fine. Okay. Fine.”

“Okay.” Sam nodded, taking charge again.

You couldn’t believe this was happening. Except, that was a lie. You could. You’d seen weirder. You’d experienced the impossible. Lived through the unbelievable. This…this was completely imaginable.

Which is why, with a lot of hesitation and very little confidence in this plan, you followed Zemo through the auto shop you were in until you reached a large room with a ton of different old cars.

Bucky’s hand found yours as Zemo explained what the plan was, rather vaguely, in your opinion, but at least he was explaining. Point for him. Not that it would make up for the level of distrust you held for him, but it was something.

You looked up at him, giving him a puzzling frown. He usually only grabbed your hand in front of other people when he was feeling anxious. Which, yeah, he had a right to be anxious right now, but it wasn’t the right kind. The type of anxiety caused by large crowds and loud noises, ones that startled him and threw him into a defensive mode.

But the look on his face made you squeeze his hand in reassurance. He was pouting, staring at you although he did something wrong - a puppy that tore up a pillow - and all you wanted to do was give him a hug.

“You’re mad at me.” He mumbled as the four of you headed out with Zemo in the lead.

“No I’m not.”

“Yeah you are. 

“Bucky, I’m not mad.”

“Listen, if I had a better idea I wouldn’t-”

You brought your linked hands up to your lips, pressing a gentle kiss to his gloved knuckles. “I’m not mad.” You repeated more firmly. “It’s just…a lot for me, right now.”

“Why? What’s going on?”

“Nothing’s going on, Buck, I-I just…” You thought about your and Sam’s earlier conversation and suddenly understood what he meant. “I need to breathe for a second.”

His features twisted into ones of uncertainty, eyes squinting as you stepped outside. “Do you…do you wanna leave?”

You shook your head, tugging his arm to stop him and grabbing the sunglasses on his collar, slipping them over his eyes. “No. I just need some time to think. Hopefully the plane ride to wherever the hell we’re going will give me that.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, James. I’m sure.”

He lowered the glasses on his nose to scan you over the frames, before nodding and sliding them back up. “Okay. You ready for this, then?”

“No.” You breathed, turning back to where Zemo and Sam were still walking. “Let’s do this.”

*****************

Climbing onto the private jet, you raised an eyebrow at Sam, who shrugged, giving you a bemused expression. A Baron…huh…who knew? You feel like you should’ve, yet there you were.

You sat besides Bucky, across from Zemo, crossing your legs and leaning back while staring at him through narrowed eyes.

His butler seemed nice, which made you even more suspicious. You obviously didn’t know as much about Zemo as you wanted to. It was a habit you picked up after years of undercover work; once the mission was complete, that was that. There was no looking back on it. No sitting on it. It was over and you moved onto the next one. It was a bad habit in cases like this.

The moment you spotted the notebook over Zemo’s book you knew something was going to happen, yet you still flinched when Bucky lunged at him, grabbing his throat. You leaned back in your seat again, steadying your now racing heartbeat. You decided you were too tense, trying to relax your muscles as Bucky sat back down in his seat.

“I’ve seen that book. It was Steve’s when he came out of the ice. I told him about Trouble Man. He wrote it in that book.” Sam seemed so proud of himself that something he recommended was written in Steve’s little book and it made you smile.

You remembered that; Steve and you were supposed to meet up for coffee after his run, but Fury called him in so you rescheduled it for when he got back. He asked you about Marvin Gaye. For your opinion. You told him to check it out and make his own.

You remembered asking him about that little notebook of his, and he just shrugged you off telling you about his list. He would read items off to you, but he never let you read the book yourself. You never found out why, and you supposed you never would now. The thought made an ache behind your ribs that you’d come to familiarize yourself with appear.

You smiled a little more as Zemo and Sam told Bucky how awesome Marvin Gaye was. “C’mon, baby. Back me up.”

Chuckling, you looked at Bucky. “They’re not wrong. But,” you quickly added before Bucky could whine at you, facing Sam again. “Neither is Buck. I mean, c’mon. You can’t find music like the 40’s anymore. Ella Fitzgerald, Louis Armstrong, Benny Goodman, Fred Astaire. Ol’ Blue Eyes himself.”

“Thank you.” Bucky grinned at Sam, who rolled his eyes.

“Okay, okay. But, I mean, c’mon! Everybody loves Marvin Gaye.”

“I like Marvin Gaye.”

“Steve adored Marvin Gaye.”

Your face fell as Zemo started talking about Steve and icons and Red Skull, your mind once again slipping away from reality.

~

“Kids love you.” You giggled as you finally made it out of his exhibit. You’d wanted to show it to him since he moved to D.C., and you’d finally got an opportunity after coming back from being undercover for ten weeks. “You’re their hero, you know.”

“Yeah, well, I’m just trying to do what’s right.”

You nudged him, scoffing at his answer. “You’re too humble. You’re a national icon, you know.”

Steve shrugged, looking around the museum at the planes surrounding them. “I never wanted to be.”

“Why not? Everyone loves you.”

“I’m sure not everyone loves me.” He rolled his eyes. “And…I just wanted to help. To fight. Protect my country and the people I cared about. I-I didn’t ask for…all that.” He waved behind his shoulder where his exhibit was getting smaller with each step they took away. “People were dying. Bullies were winning.”

You shook your head, spinning and walking backwards besides him to face him. “Sure, but you did that. And you became someone people could look up to in the process.”

He narrowed his eyes at you before asking, “why do you do what you do?”

“...because I’m good at it?”

“Honey.” He gave you a look. “Answer the question.”

You hummed in thought. “Because I couldn’t stand by, knowing there would be orphaned kids if I didn’t help any way I could.”

“Alright. Why do you do it in the dark?”

“Whaddya mean?”

He shrugged. “Why don’t you come out and take credit for all the lives you’ve saved?”

“Because that’s not why I do it. I don’t want that attention. I just want to know I’ve helped people. I’ve kept them safe.”

He gave you a soft smile. “I just wanted to beat the bully. I never wanted to be a dancing monkey, too.” You looked at him in a new light then, understanding where he was coming from. “Watch out, honey!” He grabbed you and pulled you aside before you could crash into a wall, arms wrapped firmly around your waist. He gave you that charming smile of his. “Wouldn’t want you hurting that pretty lil’ head of yours, now would we?”

~

“Y/N!”

You snapped back into the conversation, moving your eyes from the window to Bucky, who tilted his head, eyebrows pinched and eyes narrowed. “Sorry. So, Madripoor. That’s a fun place.”

You ignored the side eyed glances Bucky and Sam exchanged, Sam turning to you curiously. “You’ve been?”

“Once. Back in 2010 for a few months”

Zemo raised his eyebrows. “You’re lucky to have gotten out.”

You shrugged nonchalantly. “Lucky, maybe. Skills were a part of it, too, though.”

“Good.” Zemo nodded. “Because we’re going undercover…and if we blow it. We’re dead.”

You breathed out, shaking your memory away and getting your head back into the game. Because like the man you were severely wary of in front of you said, if you blew this, you were dead. And, sure, you didn’t want to live until ninety, but you weren’t even half way there yet. So dammit if you were going to die soon.

“Hey.” You looked over at Bucky’s murmur, his head tilting as he grabbed your hand and pulled you from your seat closer to him. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I’m fine. Are you okay? You know you’re going to have to be-”

“I know.” He nodded. You watched his Adam’s Apple bob as he swallowed thickly. “I’ll be fine. Just…tell me right now if you need to step out for this one.”

You gave him a smile that you knew he didn’t buy, just by the slight narrowing of his eye, his lips pressing together. “No. No, I’m good for this. If you think I’m gonna let you two idiots go into Madripoor with him - alone - oil that cyborg brain of yours, because there’s no way.”

He squeezed your hand, eyes still filled with uncertainty. “Are you sure?”

“If there’s even a slight possibility that I can protect you, then yeah. I’m sure, Buckaroo.”

[mrskurono]

title: Crybaby || sub!Akaashi x fem!Reader

a/n: A softer contribution to my 4k for Femdom event! He my other baby <3

word count: 1.7k

tags: femdom, established relationship, mommy kink, mdlb dynamics, lactation kink mention, big dick Akaashi <3, voyeurism (use of a breastfeeding room on work time), handjob, premature ejaculation, multiple orgasms, mild overstim, creampie, hint of breeding/pregnancy, mildly unedited

character(s): Keji Akaashi (hq)

synopsis: Tenma thought it was weird when Keji asked if the faculty he was applying to had a room for breastfeeding women to go. Honestly at the time you were with him when Keji asked so Tenma thought nothing of it if his new coworker was just looking out for his fiancé’s comfort if they were gonna start a family. The ex tiny giant had no idea his coworker meant it for much different reasons.

Rustling of fabric signaled Keji’s impatience. His big hands attempting to slip under your blouse to no avail. 

A nervous wreck like this and suddenly Keji couldn’t do anything for himself.

“Shhhh....Mommy’s right here. It’s alright Keji, mommy will make you feel better.”

The first few buttons are undone. Those same hands under the fabric of your shirt quickly. Needy pawing as  Keji tried to push it up. Clearly ignoring it was a button down. You smiled at his neediness even if it was clouding his mind.

“Mommy-” Keji’s tiny voice bubbled up in his throat. He was so close to tears. 

Best get your shirt unbunttoned as quickly as possible since you were certain his coworkers weren’t use to this kind of baby crying.

As quickly as the door had latched behind the two of you. Keji was latched onto your breast. A favor towards the right one when he was this upset. His lips pulling most of your nipple into his mouth with the deepest latch. Even his sniffling couldn’t stop him. Keji pressed his face into your breast and sighed heavily. 

The warm tugging motion of his mouth. Just in time with his tongue swirling over your very well worked over nipples. Keji’s hand reached up to find the other. Palming and kneading it gently. Soothing himself. You could feel him calming down. All save for one problem.

“Mmmm, is this what was upsetting you pretty boy?” You hand lightens a top his the bulge in his slacks.

Keji moans into your breast even with the slightest touch. Worse when you grip him through his pants and rub. His nursing picks up pace and Keji ruts his hips hopelessly into your touch.

“You haven’t been playing with yourself have you....”

He shakes his head, nipple still in mouth with a groggy reply, “....n-no.”

“Mommy said you could play with yourself when you need to baby.”

“Only you....want, you.”

A sigh leaves your parted lips. He was a handful. These long work hours made him even needier. And as you slipped his cock out of his pants. The thick uncut cock hardly able to have your fingers curl around it was a testament to that handful. 

Slipping back his foreskin. Revealing the glistening precum leaking from poor Keji’s cock. You click your tongue with a little shake of your head.

“So needy.”

Moaning into your breast, as your slow strokes start Keji refuses to let his lips leave your breast. Nursing with every intent like he wanted something to come out of it. Fingertips gliding over his slippery and sensitive cock head, you hum softly as Keji’s hips rut slightly into your hand. Enjoying the sight of his glistening cock expose itself with each shift of his hips. Not so much fucking your hand as he was fucking the nothingness but the feeling of his foreskin peeling back and forth over his swollen gland.

“Do you need mommy to keep your cum for you baby?” You mutter softly into the mop of black curls, “Do you want mommy to have all your cum?”

Keji nods, eyes closed tight and hips still rocking to the slight motion of your hand around his cock, “Please....please keep all my cum safe mommy. I don’t want it. I can’t keep it please- I-”

“Shhh, that’s all right,” You slip the tip of your index finger inside the extra of his foreskin. Watching delighted as Keji breaks away from your puffy nipple with a choked moan. How sensitive was his cockhead. Watching him writhe and twist his fists up in your shirt at the mere tease of just your fingertip made the tingle between your legs worse. A very viable wet spot on your panties for sure. Your baby was so needy. But it was ok you needed him.

“M-Mommy-” His weak plea distracted you from your thoughts. Before you even knew it thick bubbles of cum were oozing out from the tip of his covered cock. Staining your fingers with milky whiteness and Keji’s death grip on your blouse let you know he was cumming without wanting to.

When you pulled your finger away. Creaminess following and staining his still throbbing cock, you frowned and clicked your tongue, “You had an accident....and it didn’t look like you finished all the way.”

Keji hid his face in your chest. Pressing so hard against your breast you wondered if he could breath. The poor thing, so prone to cumming before it was time. But as you watched the two meager beads of cum roll down his purple cock head you knew there was far more left inside him.

Gently you ushered him off of you. Stricken with fear that he was in trouble. It was when Keji’s half lidded eyes landed on you pulling your bottoms down and resituating yourself on the oversized chair did he see what you wanted. With legs spread and propped up on either arm of the chair. You took the cum stained finger and drew it along your soaked slit.

“Mommy’s gonna save the rest of your cum ok?” Your question far more like a demand. Fingers swirling around in the mess of juices clinging to your cunt lips, you spread them wide and see Keji’s eyes widen as well, “I need you to put your cock in mommy ok baby. I’ll take care of the rest.”

Nothing made him more excited and nervous than your most intimate parts. Keji rarely made it to feeling your cunt around him and now you were inviting him right here and now after he thought he was in trouble. So when you beckoned him over Keji swallowed hard and couldn’t stop staring at the wetness between your legs. All exposed. And here he was twitching with his cock still hanging out of his pants and precum already drooling from his foreskin.

“Come here baby.” You usher him closer. Keji lined his hips up. His own hands held tight above his waist line, as he watched you reach down and guide him closer. Keji sucks in a deep breath when you rub just the tip of his cock against you. Smearing his cock in your juices and streaking your cunt with the little cum still clinging to his cock.

“Mommy-” Keji mumbles drunkenly at the sensation of you peeling his foreskin back. Revealing his sensitive head that sends a tingle right through his entire body when you let his cock brush against your clit, “M-Mommy more-”

“Shh, it’s coming,” You coo softly at him.

Pressing his tip against your entrance you don’t have the leverage you do at home. So you encourage him to push as well. Not one take the lead Keji timidly leans in until you pull him closer. Thick and sensitive cock delving into you so slowly that it takes you no time to adjust to his size. Keji bottoming out in you before you know it.

“That’s a good boy, yes you are, so big inside mommy,” Your breathing deepens a little. It had been so long since you’d felt him inside you. Keji looking like he was going to loose his mind as he knelt before you in the chair. Cock stuffed inside you and black curls clouding the rim of his glasses. 

“ ‘s much-” He gurgled, tears brimming on his lashes as Keji could hardly keep his eyes open to look at you, “Mommy- ‘s much. It tingles-”

“Your doing so good. Baby move your hips a little yeah?” You sweet talk him as you caress his face. Urging him to move but really you see it’s simply too much for your poor baby.

Keji’s cock resting only half way inside you. As a good mommy you take it upon yourself to help your baby. Reaching down and feeling the slickness coating his cock and navel. When Keji feels your fingers curl around his base he hides his face in your neck. Leaning into you as you lean up into him.

Slow and stead you begin jerking him. Much like before he came. This time the tip of his cock resting inside you in the safest place possible for your poor baby. Keji’s hot breath against your neck. Whines and wordless pleas jumbled up with moaning. Keji unable to even move his hips as the sensation of his already twitching cock now gets the duality of your hand and your cunt milking him.

“There we go...now you can give mommy all your cum. Mommy will keep it safe....fill me up baby boy. I know you can. Can gimme all your cum just like you should.” String of praise falling past your lips as the stroking quickens. A clear tense to Keji’s body when you do so. Swearing on your life you can feel his cock swell inside you. It just doesn’t seem to be working yet so you press your lips to his ear and rut your hips into his as your fingers feverishly pump his cock, “Give mommy all your cum, fill mommy up, so my breasts will get nice and full and you can drink all of mommy’s milk. Your cum is safe with me- You can-”

“Mommy!” Keji gasped. He didn’t even mean to be so loud. Nothing in him could stop it though. Grabbing onto your waist for dear life as another orgasm rippled through him. Keji inadvertently rutting his cock in you as everything in him told him to bury himself inside you. He didn’t understand why but he didn’t care. Needing to pool all his cum inside you as the twitch and tighten of his balls last every last drop of cum deeper inside you than you anticipated.

With Keji’s heavy panting you weren’t surprised when he just leaned off of his body weight into you. The clear feeling of cum seeping out around his cock as he slowly softened inside you. The poor thing, this stressed and sensitive. You raked your fingers through his black hair and hold him close to you as you savor the feeling of your sweet baby’s cum defiling your deepest parts, “That’s right. All your cum is safe with me...mommy will keep it all for you. Don’t ever forget that my sweet baby boy.”

[honklore]

invisible string | dreamwastaken

(requested plot by red string of fate soulmate au, dream is still a streamer, reader has commitment issues, dream just wants someone to love, chat is the best wingman, sapnap and george try but they suck, reader is timid but dream makes them feel brave, taylor swift references, this is not very deep or poetic at all, i don’t like typing y/n so after this i’m going to move to ___)

listen to: invisible string by taylor swift

In kindergarten, red strings were simply a crafting tool, and teachers never mentioned how much pain they would eventually bring.

Because when they appear, from a child’s eighteenth birthday and beyond, they tighten like a godforsaken high school ring that came in one size too small. Like the universe is a child tugging their mother towards the ice cream truck, you’re pulled around central Florida, passes faces you can’t memorize and voices too garbled to hear.

The string knows where you need to go, and when.

And you’re at the park, feeding ducks and trying to ignore that incessant pull that tugs at your pinky, when you hear it.

It’s a voice you know only because it’s a voice that’s been in your house before. At least, through your brother’s tablet screen. Some gamer online — a streamer, with a distinct wheezing laugh that you’d recognize anywhere.

And you do. Behind you.

You risk a small peak, and your heart drops into your chest. He’s tall. Too tall to not intimidate you. And his sandy hair is wavy, curling at the collar of his sweatshirt, falling perfectly into place when he runs his hands through it. When he does, you see it, the red string.

Which means he could see it too. All he’d have to do is turn around.

But you’re not ready. You haven’t been, not since you watched your cousin get rejected on her eighteenth birthday. Since you watched a string of fate get clipped in front of you, like the three fates had finally had enough of your cousin’s happiness.

It was enough to make you curl into yourself, and reject the natural pull set before you. So you run, and you try not to think of what would’ve happened if he saw you before you saw him. You try not to feel the clippers, but the blade feels tangible against your skin.

You don’t stop running until you arrive home.

“Hey chat, just wanted to do a few practice runs and catch up with you guys,” Dream mumbles into the mic, already restarting his game after deciding he didn’t like his seed. The donos begin rolling in, even before Sapnap and George have unmuted, so Dream flits his eyes to the display screen, subconsciously reading along with the text-to-speech voice, “Dream, what if we shared a string of fate? Ahaha, just kidding... unless... love you bestie.”

Dream chuckles, “Actually chat, I felt a tug today! Isn’t that weird? I was actually reading up on what that could mean, and it seems like either my soulmate is in a lot of distress, or they were in my vicinity. I’m hoping, for their sake, it’s the second one. How would you even comfort a soulmate if all you can do is tug on a stupid string?”

“Simp!” George finally unmutes just to be annoying, and Dream knows soulmates are a touchy spot for him, considering he wasn’t given a string on his eighteenth. Which is strange, but not impossible. Of course, chat doesn’t know this, because it would give them more hope of becoming George’s metaphorical soulmate, but it certainly makes for awkward conversations once Dream and Sapnap get into their own soulmate bonds.

“I’m not simping, George!” Dream feels a bit defensive, because he’s genuinely just curious. He has no interest in meeting his soulmate right now. At least, that’s what he tells himself. He has his streams, and his friends, and chat. He’s fine.

[abbywastaken donated $10: dream why don’t you go back to where you felt the pull and see if you feel it again? that’s how i found my soulmate. okay luv u bye.]

“Thanks, Abby. Love you, too. Um, honestly I was in a pretty public place, so I don’t know if they would even come back anytime soon. Also, this is Orlando, right? Tourists are everywhere.”

Sapnap snorts, and Dream thinks it’s funny, since he’s in the other room. “Just say you’re a coward and go.”

“I’m not!” Dream says. “It was just a small pull, okay? It wasn’t even a big deal.”

He feels another lurch when he says that, but this one is in his chest. It taps against his heart, a quick reminder that it beats for someone else, and he needs to watch his words. “Okay, it was a big deal. Sort of. I’ll go tomorrow, okay chat?”

Chat is spamming all types of messages, from encouragement to jealousy. Dream manages to read off a few donos and create his first nether portal of the stream. He answers as they appear, eyes scanning for a fortress. “No, I didn’t see them… I’m not telling you guys where I was, that’s weird… I’m wearing a sweatshirt and jeans… Hi, Sarah and Patrick…”

He trails off as the donos do, and works at getting blaze rods. George is talking about a riddle he just learned, and he’s trying to trick Sapnap into saying something stupid.

Lost in his own thoughts, he finally closes the stream after a hasty goodbye. “What if I missed my chance?” He asks the two boys on the other line.

“It’s a string of fate, Dream,” George says. “You didn’t miss your chance.”

“Maybe they saw how ugly you are and ran away,” Sapnap says, completely joking, but the thought lingers in Dream’s head.

Did they feel the tug, and run away?

You pour cereal for yourself, and when your brother shuffles into the kitchen, you make him a bowl as well.

He’s eleven, and as little brothers go, he’s pretty chill. Aside from the inappropriate jokes and hogging the bathroom when you have to get ready for work, you like hanging around with him.

You pass him his bowl, and he grins. “I’m gonna watch Dream’s new video on the TV, since mom’s not home.”

You furrow your brows. Dream must be one of the dozens of streamers he likes. Maybe one of his friends will be in chat with him, and you will be able to connect a voice to a face. “Can I sit with you?”

He gives you an odd look, and it’s true, you don’t ask to watch videos with him often. “I guess.”

You eat a spoonful of cereal and settle into the couch while he gets everything ready. He clicks on a lime green icon of a little white blob man, and when the first video appears, you’re taken aback by the voice.

That’s the voice you heard. It’s this one, out of all the random men yelling about a block game. It’s Dream.

“Why doesn’t he show his face?” You manage, wanting information about the person that shares your string.

“What?”

“Like, he’s handsome, right? Why doesn’t he have a facecam?”

Your brother snorts. “Handsome? He’s never shown his face, Y/n. Don’t you know who Dream is? He’s like, super famous.”

“Oh.” You think of his golden hair, as sunny and soft as the glow around his entire being. His voice right now, joyous as he gets chased by his friends. “I mean, I don’t keep up with streamers.”

He begins to explain Dream and his friends, along with lore in their role play server, and it’s all interesting enough that you sit and listen, holding on to the little bits of information you can collect about your soulmate.

You file these facts in a secluded corner of your brain and try to make a whole person, along with the hair and the laugh and the intense music he plays as he gets hunted by his friends.

By nightfall, you’re following all of his socials and binge-watching his old streams, holding on to the way he speaks to his friends, and the fond way he replies to donos.

[dreamwastaken is live!]

You click on it, bundled underneath your covers as if someone might see you and find out your secret.

“Hi, chat! I know I was just live yesterday, but I cut it too short and wanted to come talk to you guys.”

He uses his avatar to wave at the screen, and it’s kind of an adorable sight.

[gogysimp donated $25: did you go see your soulmate?]

Your heart stops. Does he know? Did he see you? Or even worse, has he already found someone else, and he just hasn’t severed the tie?

“No!” Dream’s laugh pulls you out of your worries. “I was busy with meetings today, actually. And I was too nervous. Sapnap also refused to come with me, so I’m just going to go another day.”

So he didn’t see you. He just knows you were there.

You click the donate tab before you can stop yourself.

[y/n donated $1: would you reject your soulmate if you didn’t like them?]

Dream mumbles the question, and you try to ignore the way your heart deflates when he skips saying your name. “I don’t think so,” he states plainly. “I mean, logically, a soulmate would be your other half, so I wouldn’t not like them. But I know some people just don’t click, or there are other issues. So, I don’t know. I guess the only thing I can say is that I don’t want to reject them. And I hope they don’t reject me. I mean, imagine finding out your soulmate is a Minecraft Youtuber. That would be pretty weird…”

You giggle to yourself as he trails off and answers another donation. So he’s against rejection. Okay. Maybe you have a chance.

[kyra donated $60: i’m your soulmate.]

“Meet me where you felt the tug, then,” Dream says sassily. “Chat, don’t be weird, okay? I can’t control who my soulmate is, and I don’t want you guys to exclude them if they become a pat of my life.”

Oh, you think. So his chat is vocal about their opinions, and apparently they mean a lot to him. You shiver despite your warm position and imagine how annoying you might seem to his loyal viewers: someone who only knew about him because of their brother.

Insecurity pushes against your chest, so you close the stream and push your phone away, hoping to forget this ever happened, that maybe you won’t have to deal with the inevitable if you don’t think about it.

Yogurt Barn isn’t the first place on your list of dream jobs, but it has decent pay and helps you pay off student loans, so you appreciate it nonetheless. The teal sweatshirt they gave you as a uniform keeps you warm as you scoop the frozen treats.

Your coworker, a girl named Madison, is busy manning the counter, so you check each flavor and refill the ones running empty.

“Can I ask you a question?” Madison met her soulmate, Anna, only days after she got her string. It was a textbook romance, two people meant for each other, no doubt in anyone’s mind. She might be able to help you now. That is, if you can even admit to who your soulmate is.

“What’s up?”

“I felt the tug,” you say, avoiding her eyes in favor of restacking the medium cups.

“No way!” Madison is perky in a way that makes you want to be included. You like this about her. “Did you see them? Did you talk to them?”

“He—” You want to say that the part of him you saw was perfect, enough to keep you up when you should be dreaming. But reality is nothing if not disappointing. “I ran.”

“Y/n…” Madison gives you a stern look — like a mother finding out their child didn’t defrost the chicken in time. “Why would you run?”

“I don’t want to be rejected.” The magenta swirls painted onto the walls are a stark change to the clay sidewalks of the strip mall. “And before you say he wouldn’t… It’s happened to my cousin. It’s possible.”

Madison frowns. “But that can’t be the only reason, right? I mean, we all know someone who has been rejected. It’s usually not the end of the world for them.”

“He’s a famous streamer,” you blurt, and you’re thankful the shop is as empty as it is. Just the words themselves sound fake.

Madison snorts. “Like, gaming? That’s what’s holding you back? He’s a gamer?”

“I don’t care that he’s a gamer!” You hiss. “I care that he has a loyal fanbase who more than likely all want to be his soulmate!”

“You can’t say that for certain,” Madison says. “I mean, everyone knows about the soulmate system. If you watch someone and don’t feel the pull, you know they aren’t your soulmate, right? So why wouldn’t they accept you?”

“I don’t know,” you say. “I’m just scared. I mean, he’s got this huge following and everything and I’m just me. I work in a yogurt shop for goodness’ sake.”

You head into the back to grab more cups, and the bell rings, signaling a new customer.

“Welcome to Yogurt Barn, what can I get for you?” Madison’s customer service voice pricks your ears.

You sift through the boxes to find the smaller cups and listen to the customer’s order. “Can I have a strawberry cone?”

Your string pulls, that same familiar voice filling your head, not on the screen but once again just a few feet away. He’s infiltrating your life, so close you could reach out and touch him, but it’s such a terrifying thought that you set down the cups.

You tear off your apron, and run into the break room to grab a water and calm yourself down.

It’s ten minutes before Madison comes back to find you. “Hey, are you okay? You disappeared.”

You take a deep breath and stare at the poster on the wall. It’s brightly colored, with a walking yogurt cup waving and reminding employees to wash their hands before scooping. “That was him. The guy— the pull— Dream— I can’t— Does he know? Is he following me?”

“It’s okay,” Madison runs her hand down your back. “It’s okay. He isn’t following you. When the pull starts it tends to draw the couple together until they meet. He probably doesn’t know it’s you.”

You nod and take your breaths in gulps. “Okay. Yeah, you’re right. You’re right.”

“Why don’t you go home early, okay?”

Dream is live again.

Fresh out of the shower, you pull a t-shirt over your body and burrow into your blankets. Earbuds in, you try to focus on the sound of his voice, ignoring every ounce of anxiety that’s been riddling your mind.

“Hi, chat. I’m gonna practice speed runs again. I think George is joining soon.”

You open the chat and scroll through the emotes, clicking the ones you like and sending them, just to calm yourself down.

[kylo donated $5: did you find your soulmate?]

Dream laughs. The sound makes your chest tighten with longing. Your fingers ache. “Actually, I went to the place I felt the pull again. I dunno what I was expecting, but they didn’t show up. But after that, I was running some errands and I felt it, chat! I felt the pull again.”

He trails off while his character starts to look for a lava pool. “I feel discouraged but I don’t want to like, chase them, you know? I don’t want to scare them off.”

You click the donation tab again.

[y/n donated $1: maybe your soulmate heard your voice and got scared of you because they watch your videos.]

It’s not the total truth, but it might help him sleep better. You don’t want him to feel discouraged, but you can’t bring yourself to follow the pull.

“That could be a possibility…” Dream crafts a portal and sends his character through. “But I wish I could talk to them. I wish I could tell them that it’s okay. Like, we don’t have to rush into anything.”

[y/n donated $1: They probably wish they could talk to you too]

“Thanks, Y/n.” He sucks in a breath as soon as he says your name. The Minecraft pause screen appears and the sound of a discord call can be heard.

Your heart pounds in your chest. Something about him saying your name just solidified everything. Your arms feel hot and cold all at once, like you’ve just been thrown in a frozen lake. He has to be feeling it too.

“Chat, I gotta go, okay? I’ll try to stream again soon.”

“Hello?” A sleepy voice comes in through Dream’s earbuds.

“George! Their name is Y/n!” Dream is so excited, his voice raising a few octaves as he talks. “Someone donated with that name and I felt like, super weird. I didn’t feel it until I said the name out loud.”

“That’s crazy,” George says, monotone but supportive. “Do you think the dono is actually them?”

“I don’t know,” Dream scrolls through their past donos and quickly screenshots each one. “I mean, they definitely could be.”

He shares the pictures in their group chat.

George hums. “It sounds like they’re trying to tell you how they feel without admitting that it’s them. Where did you say you felt a pull?”

“At the park, and at the yogurt shop down the road.”

“So go there again. Maybe all they need is a little courage. If you feel the pull this time, you should follow it.”

Dream thinks about it for a moment before finally agreeing. He changes the subject to their next jackbox stream, and George is now happily talking about how they’re going to team up against Sapnap.

He goes into Sapnap’s room that night. He sits on his desk chair while Sapnap sits cross legged on his bed, scrolling through his phone. “Do you wanna get frozen yogurt tomorrow? My treat.”

“Hell yeah!”

The new strawberry-lemonade custard is a hit. Not only are the colors aesthetically pleasing for the teenagers who want a nice snapchat story, but there was a promotional coupon in the mail that has people lining up to the door.

“It’s not even that good,” you tell Madison while the two of you are on break. You’re both using a sample spoon to try out the new summer flavors, and in your opinion, strawberry-lemonade isn’t even the best one. “Blood orange is better.”

Madison wrinkles her nose. “No, blue raspberry is best.”

“It’s sour, though,” you say.

“Guys! Break’s over and you’ve got a line!” Your manager stares disapprovingly at the cups of custard the both of you are indulging in.

“We’re coming.” You toss the cup into the trash and walk out, scratching at the sudden itch on your pinky finger.

Pulling on your gloves, you grab a scoop and address the first customer, “Welcome to Yogurt Barn.”

“Hi!”

You still like you’ve been caught stealing on camera. You look up, hand clutching the scoop so tightly you can feel the cold steel through your gloves.

It’s Dream.

It’s him. He’s tall, and his hair is a sunshine blond, dark at the roots and curling beneath his ears. And his freckles… little spots all across his cheeks so endearing that you get a little distracted staring at them.

Then he’s talking, and you have to focus on his jade-green eyes, not his lips, which are a warm pink. “It’s you.”

You blink. Fear strikes your spine and you drop the scoop. “I gotta go.”

“Wait!” Dream calls, just as Madison shouts your name.

You exit out the back door again. Your heart is pounding against your chest, ribs expanding, and all you can hear is the sound of your name coming out of his lips, just last night through a screen.

“Y/n?” Only it’s in front of you, a few feet away, and he’s searching your eyes for any reassurance that you won’t run away again. That you won’t reject him. “That’s your name right?” He keeps talking, a nervous smile flitting across his face. “The donos? That was you?”

You can see the string now, red and blaring, tightening with each step Dream takes. It’s signing off your fate, for better or for worse, and you can’t fathom why he’s trying so hard, why he cares so much.

It’s hot in Florida but you feel cold, chilled to the bone. You straighten up. You figure you owe it to him to look up in the eye.

He leaves you breathless, eyes shining in the sun. “It was me,” you say. “You’re Dream.”

“Clay, actually,” he says. His smile widens, and it’s magnificently bold. He’s triumphant, just from your reply, and that alone gives you the slightest bit of hope.

“Clay,” you say. “I’m— I’m not— I don’t know if I’m ready.”

“You don’t have to be.” Clay is quick to reply, hands open and palms up. It’s a complete surrender — putting it all in your hands. “We don’t have to announce it. We don’t have to be anything at all, if you need time. But I would like to be your friend. If— If that’s okay.”

But you want to be close to him. The draw of your strings pulling each other closer and closer makes you want to wrap your arms around him. If he hasn’t rejected you, maybe you can do this. “I– I want to be more than friends, but I’m terrified of you rejecting me. I’m afraid of the string getting cut.”

Clay set his brows, “I won’t let that happen. We’re connected. Fate, ya know?”

“Yeah,” you breathe, and it’s a sigh of relief. “Okay. Maybe I’ll give you my number?”

“I’ll give you mine!” Clay is animated, holding out his hand for your phone. “That way you can text me when you’re ready.”

The red string shines like gold in the Florida sun, and when your fingertips brush, it burns with a satisfying warmth.

[skylarmoon71]

Nick Jakoby x Reader Oneshot- (Bright)

“Oink, oink over here piggy!” 

The group of men standing in the doorway made you grimace. Damn they pissed you off. Nick walked pass them with his head lowered, trying his best to ignore the rude remarks. You’d just clocked in, and this had become a regular. Their tauntings. You really wanted to body slam all four of them. But you restrained yourself. “Don’t bother with them Nick, their dick heads. “ It was no secret that they hated the male Orc. Nick was by far the sweetest man on the force, and he wasn’t even a man. Which really said something for the unit. 

“I’m used to it, it’s fine.” you frowned. He shouldn’t have to get used to it. He was just as hardworking and diligent as any other cop. You nudged his shoulder with a smile as you walked with him. “Cheer up, in a couple of hours we have that awful dinner to attend. You have worse things ahead." Nick shook his head with a shy smile. “Is that supposed to make me feel better.” 

“Not really.” with a small giggle, you met your partner. Nick headed over to Ward, and your eyes wandered, just admiring him. You had no idea why people gave him such a hard time. It’s true that Orcs sided with the enemy in the past, but that was thousands of years ago. The world had changed so much since then, apparently not in the ways you hoped. 

Nick was so misunderstood and underappreciated. He had so much to offer if he was just given a chance. Not to mention he was a total sweetheart. Pretty handsome too. The final thought erupts a blush to your cheek, one that doesn’t go unnoticed by your partner.

“What’s got you all red in the face?” Jacob, your partner raises an eyebrow, and your face gets darker. “Nothing let’s get going.” he doesn’t quite believe you, and you try to steal one last look at Nick before you have to get going, but Jacob catches the action, a smirk playing on his lips. 

“Shit I knew it!!” His yell catches the attention of everyone in a five mile radius and as the officers stare, you feel Nick’s stare follow. You cower, smacking Jacob who just waves everyone off. When their gazes have diverted, you glare at the man before you. He raises his hands defensively. “Sorry, sorry didn’t mean to cause a scene. Not everyday you discover your partner has a crush. Damn Victoria owes me twenty bucks!” 

“Y-You betted on my love life with your wife!!” 

“Umm, hell yeah I did. Why are you even surprised?” he was right, you shouldn’t have been. You just roll your eyes, and soon the both of you are headed to the squad car. Jacob is still wearing that smug grin as you jump into the vehicle. “So when are you gonna ask him out?” 

“I-I’m not!” 

“You’re kidding, you have to (Y/N)!” Jacob has always been majorly supportive, but you’re still a little anxious. Your head lowers. “Y-You don’t think it’s weird that I..I mean I don’t  care if anyone says anything but I just..I..” The way you're struggling with your words, it’s not hard for Jacob to understand. “Listen, I’d never judge you for something like that. We’re partners (Y/N), practically family now. And honestly Nick is awesome, dude brings me scones every Tuesday cause he passes at my favorite shop on his way to work. He’s a hero in my book.” He lets out a few fake sobs to get his point across and you just groan at his childishness.

“Seriously though, Nick’s a really good guy. Everyone treats him like shit, yet he comes back and tells them to be safe. If it were me, I don’t think I’d be able to handle it that well. He could easily quit, probably just become the monster everyone keeps accusing him of being. But he wakes up and he does the job, all because he loves it, he generally cares about protecting people who don’t give a shit about him. It’s inspiring to watch. There aren’t many people like left in this world (Y/N), if you find someone like that, you should do what you can to hold onto them.” His finger ran over his wedding band, a smile playing on his lips. “That’s what I did.” His smile makes your face brighten, and you nod. 

“I’ll do my best. “ 

So maybe your partner wasn’t a complete idiot. 

That afternoon when you get home, you’re on a mission. Jacob’s advice is ringing in your head. He’s right. So you’ve decided this annual police will be your best yet. You were gonna go all out. You rarely ever get dressed up, too accustomed to dark suit pants and uncomfortable belts. You wanted something to catch Nick’s attention, then maybe it would give you the confidence to finally own up to your feelings and ask the guy out. You jump into the shower. 

“Time to knock them dead. “ 

~Three hours later~

“Quit fidgeting, you look fine.” Ward smacks Nick’s hands away from the tie. He’s been messing with it for the last ten minutes, mostly out of nervousness. This is his first time he’s worn a tux. He feels a bit ridiculous, but with Ward’s assurance, he can only hope he’s pulling it off. They stand at a table making small talk, mostly Ward. 

Nick offers a word here and there. By the looks he keeps getting, he can tell that his opinion isn’t really wanted by the people there. So he busies himself with watching the other people mingling around him. Everyone looks relaxed, sipping wine, helpling themselves to food. He’s never been a fan of this. Every year they hold these little banquets to treat the new recruits and commend exemplary performances throughout the unit. It’s a fun event for the most part. But his fellow coworkers never rest with their harsh opinions. It isn’t even verbal, just by the looks he knows. 

The sound of a few whistles catches his attention. There’s a small commotion at the doorway. He vaguely makes out the edge of purple, and that’s when he notices the man that walks in. But that isn’t what captures his eyes, it’s the woman he’s escorting on his arm. 

Golden orbs widen, and his ears twitch a bit too quickly. He wants to control it, but it’s hard, because the smile that lands in his direction knocks the wind right out of him. “Wow, your girlfriend cleans up nice.” Ward whispers. 

“S-She’s not my girlfriend.” he grumbles back. Now that you’re clear in his view, he can fully admire your dress. It’s a velvet luxe maxi dress. The color is a beautiful lavender. Thin straps at the shoulder, low cut displaying just enough cleavage. And a slit that stops mid thigh, with matching heels to complete the whole look. Your hair is loose, and a very light amount of makeup, highlighting your features. Nick thought you were gorgeous before, but somehow you’ve outdone yourself. He can’t look away, and he really should before you take notice.You settle at a table not too far from him, pulling the focus of a few males present there. With polite smiles and little words, Nick feels a bit envious. 

“Now’s your chance hotshot. Ask her out before one of those hyenas beat you to it.” Nick wants to convince Ward that it’s useless, there’s no way you’d go for someone like him. You’re completely different in every sense of the word. He doesn’t have a chance. As he opens his mouth he’s about to lay out his case, but a sweet lavender scent fills his nostrils, and he wants to question the origin, just then he feels a light tap on his shoulder. He turns, and the heavenly aroma hits him tenfold. Somehow you’ve walked over without him realizing. He’s supposed to be more aware, he’s a cop after all. Your glossed lips turn into a smile as you bat your eyes. 

“Nick..do you wanna maybe dance?” 

The slow sound filling the room, doubled with the couples now filling up the floor catches his eyes. He’s tongue tied, because you can’t really be asking him. Out of all the guys there, why him? Yes, the both of you have been friends for months now, but he’s sort of assumed your kindness was due to pity more than anything else. 

You're still watching him hopefully, and Ward gives an encouraging push. He stumbles, grabbing your shoulders lightly. When he’s steadied himself, he pulls back. “He’d love to.” Ward says. Nick doesn’t get a chance to put in a word for himself, because you smile, taking his hand and pulling him to the center of the dance floor. Nick is staggering behind, trying not to knock into anyone. When you get to your desired area, you turn back to him. Nick is stiff, the both of you are just standing there, a number of eyes on you. “I-I should probably just go, everyone is staring and I’d hate to make you uncomfortable.” 

“I’m not uncomfortable.” His eyes lift, and the way you look at him, it makes his heart hammer. What has he done to deserve your kindness, he has no idea. 

Deciding that you need to be the one to make a move, you take his hands and place them around your waist as you step closer. You can feel the slight tremble in his palms that are pressed to your body now. It’s so adorable. He’s still stiff as a board, but you know he’s trying. He’s probably so touch starved. It hurts to just think about it. Your hands are resting on his chest lightly, and you sigh, swaying with the music. Nick swallows, he’s a bit taller than you, and he’s trying his best not to look down directly at you. With you so close it’s hard for him not to pass out at how amazing you smell. Your hands slide up, going around his neck. His eyes finally meet yours, and the meaning in your eyes, it triggers something in him. “Nick..” you’re whispering, and it breaks his train of thought. “Yeah.” you lick your lips, and he wishes he could just kiss those plump lips. They are begging to be touched.  

“Do you possibly want to-” a hand pulling you from the Orc in your arms makes you jerk. Nick looks just as surprised. The officer standing between the both of you, suddenly it makes sense, and you're pissed. “Run along pig face, she’s tired of you.” Pollard rests a hand on your waist, pulling you into his side, and you shove him back. “You’re the one who’s interrupting, what the hell we were dancing!!” you're enraged. Not only has he messed up your plan to finally ask Nick out, but he’s also insulted him. Nick can see the displeasure on your face, and he’s about to suggest that maybe you leave. The last thing he wants is for you to get caught in the middle of this. He could take Pollard’s insults any day. But he doesn’t want any negative attention drawn to you. 

“Come on you don’t have to give anymore charity, we all know why you do this. You feel bad for little piggy here. Don’t waste your evening on him, how about you come with me. Have some real fun.” It’s almost laughable that he thinks you’ll drop everything and just run off with him. Nick now looks less sure of himself, a bit defeated. It’s then you realize that he must have assumed the same. You’re being nice out of some foolish obligation. You open your mouth to assure him, but stop. This time, words may not be enough. It’s time to take action. So with two swift strides you grab Nick by the lapels of his shirt and pull him in for a kiss. Pollard gapes, and Nick is tense and wide eyed. 

“I’m dreaming…” He has to be. You couldn’t be..kissing him. Your eyes are closed, and you still have a firm hold on his clothing. A few more seconds pass and you pull back slowly. Your eyes move from Nick’s soft lips, to his topaz eyes. The bewildered expression is highly anticipated. 

“If you’ll excuse us, we have business to attend to.” you take Nick’s hand, leaving a stunned Pollard, and a few surprised officers. You don’t even look back, you do however pass Jacob on your way out of the building. He’s grinning probably wider than you. When the door snaps shut behind you and you're free of the intrusive stares, you look at Nick. He’s still in a mid state of shock. “I’m sorry..” you mutter. 

Now that the events play back, you’re bashful. You didn’t even get to ask him out. Nick collects himself slowly, shaking his head. “N-No it’s fine.” An awkward silence follows. You want to say something to cut the tension, but Nick interrupts. “I should take you home.” He doesn't look at you when he says that, and now you're a bit scared that you’ve crossed a line and misread all the signs. Self conscious and mortified, you just nod. Nick’s car is parked close, as he opens the door, you jump inside. He does the same, pulling off. 

The ride is anything but pleasant. It’s so quiet you can hear a pin drop. Nick is staring ahead, and the look he wears is unreadable. 

“I ruined everything.” You should have never done that, especially since you weren’t even sure of any feelings. He must be completely disgusted with you. You're thankful that the ride isn’t long, because in a few minutes he pulls up. You don’t make any kind of eye contact, just whisper a thanks, opening the door and stepping out. 

You want to cry, how did the night turn so horrible that quickly. As you close the vehicle door, you all but sprint to your house, taking out your keys and opening your front door. You don’t even bid him goodbye, you just focus on getting inside. You do, stepping in and leaning back as you shut the door. “Idiot!” you scold yourself. “I’m an idiot..” you bite your lip. How would you ever face him again. 

The knock at your door makes you jump, and you turn, opening the door hesitantly. You peek outside, a bit surprised. “N-Nick..” He’s staring at you, maybe wanting answers for all that happened. You step back, letting him inside. He’s the one that closes the door this time. 

“Why did you kiss me?” Blunt, to the point. From the look, you know he’s just as conflicted by all of this as you. Now might be your last chance. You’ve already kissed him, what was the harm in telling him the truth. It might help you both.

“Because I..It’s what I’ve wanted to do for months now. “ you confess. His forehead creases in astonishment. “Nick I’ve..I’ve had it bad for you for so long and it makes my blood boil every time I hear the way they talk to you! You’re so caring and selfless and goddamn hot to me and I wish everyone could see how amazing you are if they’d just give you an opportunity.” you’re rambling, but you don’t care. “That jackass Pollard ruined everything I had this whole night planned out, I was gonna wow you with this dress and then finally ask you out but then he came with his false macho bullshit and it just pissed me off and that’s why I grabbed you like that to show him that this isn’t some charity I actually am crazy about you and I..” you heave, for a minute there you forgot you should breathe. “I’m so crazy about you Nick.” 

He’s still just standing there, and now you’ve given him a chance to speak. From his expression, he doesn’t know what to say. You were so out of his league. 

“I don’t understand why you would..why..” that self conscious  look, you’ve seen it many times. 

“Nick, I want you.” he stops, eyes opening a bit wider now. “I’m tired of you being so hard on yourself. You have nothing to be ashamed of.  “ you take a step forward, and he doesn’t move a muscle. “Truthfully, when I saw you earlier in this tux, I almost passed out. “ your hands reach out, going back to where they had been before Pollard stepped in. Resting right on his broad shoulders. Another thing about him that made you swoon was his build. He was nicely muscular. It just messed you up. He needs a moment to gather his breath. “Nick do you..want me?” 

“Of course!” his shout, as unexpected as it is, it makes you smile. He looks away at how desperate it sounded. “That’s good..” you don’t clarify, just lean in, and this time when your lips meet, he still doesn’t really prepare. It’s so tender, almost tentative. When he finally convinces his mind that it’s real, his hands wrap around your body, pulling you in. You sigh, and Nick responds, returning the kiss. Your head is in the clouds, You feel like you’re dreaming, if that’s the case you want to stay forever. You open your mouth, urging him to do the same, he does, taking control. 

You moan when he pushes you up against the door, now kissing you hungrily. One of his hands drift down to your bare thigh, and another needy sound releases. You can’t stop it and you don’t want to. His free hand presses to the door, and your hands grip at the clothes on his back. You’re trying to pull him forward, and he complies, pressing into you. It feels so great, his firm body trapping you there. There’s a low growl that comes from Nick, and somehow you’re even more turned on. Your hands have ventured back to the front of his tux, unbuttoning it quickly. It falls open and your fingers slip under the jacket, reveling in the taunt muscles. 

Gosh does he feel amazing. Nick feels you start to pull at the shirt, he forces himself to part. When you’ve separated, you’re both flushed and panting. Nick still believes maybe he’s at home sleeping somehow. The new scent that fills the air nearly makes his knees buckle. Your lust is so prominent, he can almost taste it. Your chest is still heaving, but you're slowly coming down from your high, so is Nick. It’s then you realize what was about to happen if not for Nick’s pause. You feel a bit embarrassed now. You hug yourself, blushing a deep red. 

“S-Sorry, guess I kind of got a bit crazy..” Nick smiles. “You don’t have to apologize.” He’d be stupid to make you feel bad about such a thing. He was just as equally responsible. Fact is, it took everything in him to stop himself. As much as he wants this to progress, he also wants more than just a heated night with you. He wants so much more. 

“(Y/N), I’d..really like to take you out sometime..” he mumbles it, still fairly insecure about it all. The way your eyes light up though, his fears are all gone. You don’t respond, and he doesn’t need one because you jump into his arms, pressing a kiss to his cheek, grinning like a child on Christmas.

“You don’t even have to ask, it’s a yes.” you  whisper in his ear. He holds you close, breathing in your scent. He wants to lock that away forever. He wants this to last forever. For now though, just being with you now, it’s enough.